The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-06-24
WATER NOT FOR SALE.
One Thing That's Hard to Get in
Bar Room.

Bar Room.
washington Starr
III bet you s. that you can't buy a
glass of plain water in a single cafe in
Washington" said the man with time
on his hands.
Taken, said the other foolishly.
50 they marched into a hotel cafe
together
Give US a couple of glasses Of
water, sharply said the man who had
made the bet to the bArkeeper
Nichy or seltzer?" inquired the bar
keeper.
Neither said the man with time
on his hands. Give US a couple OF
glasses of plain water, and look sharp
ABOUT t-We're in hurry TO catch a
train"
There was an expression Of acute
establishment on the barkeeper's face
by this time
Plain water?" he inquired What
dye mean by that?'
What do I mean by it." said the
man who had made the bet. 81 mean
Just Water-W-a-t-e-r Water-the kind
that comes out of the water spigot-
Potomac water. the kind that shad roe
SWIM in-river water-Water from the
Waterworks-the kind you fiji bath
tub With-just plain water. That's plain
enough, isn't it? And, say, get move
on, won't YOU? We're bound for a
train, and we want drink"
There was a pretty sulky and ugly
icok on the bartender's face at this
stage Of it,
Say he said. resting his hands on
the bar and glazing at the man who
mad made the bet. what kind Of a way
d We call that to ask for a favor, hey?"
Favor exclaimed the man who had
made the bet. What are You giving US.
anyhow? Who's asked you for any
IaVor! Who wants any favor at your
hands: | come in here and call for
drink. don't l. like anybody else? Is
there any request for a favor In that?
IL l happen TO want plain water. and
not highball or a whisky sour or a
mint Julep or beer. where's the request
Tor a favor in that? Dye see me stand
ing with my cap in my hand, asking
Tor any favor? ] simply ask you to pass
me out couple Of drinks Of plain
water. and. as I've said twice now, I
want those two drinks quick I'm not
asking for something for nothing-I'm
Just as willing and ready to pay for
pain Potomac water out of the tap as
i would be to pay for a gin rickey or
a brandy smash, and I came in here
with the fullest intention of paying
you for the drinks. I still preserve that
intention, but I want you to pass I'D
the drinks in hurry, that's ALL"
The barkeeper continued TO glare at
the man who had made the bet. and
ne made several moves with his hands
underneath the bar that looked as if
he might be cropping for a bungstarter
or some other kind Of a weapon. But
he evidently thought better Of that. for
he only bestowed a final glare upon
the man with time on his hands who
wanted plain water, and said:
Say, dye know what Won are
YOU'RE bughouse, and the sooner vou
take a quick walk the better it's going
70 be for YOU. see? If you'd come in
here decently and asked me for a couple
OF glasses Of water like a gentleman.
you'd ha' got 'em quick. and no come
back or rebate. but 1 don't stand for no
bulldoZing like what you try to chuck
into me-snd it's you for sudden get
away, or It's going to happen to you.
and happen hard"
Ills attitude was so menaCing that
the man who had made the bet and
his companion hurried out. The same
experiment, conducted along the same
lines, was made at two other places.
and then the man who had foolfshlv
taken the bet passed over his s. note
without a word.