The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-08
The NonpareiI Man
On the side.

VIZ the SlUCs l.
A Terrible Turk No. III'' is taking on
Wrestlers anew York. His name is Nacbad
and he is Quitebads
The rubber trust has advanced prices per
cent-not to make money but to facilitate the
economies of production
The wiped-out, scattered Beers bombarded
Kaalfontein a few times. No wonder Kip
ling gnashed his teeth and hollered for some
body else besides himself to go out and get
killed for humanity. ... ,
This is pretty warm weather, but it is just
as well to see that the furnace man swings
Indian clubs and puts the shot" regularly.
He will need his muscle later.
Alfred Austin is suggested as court Jester
at the coronation. =.
Some of the trees on Boston Common are
exhibiting belief of sickness.
1t is easier for a camel to pass through the
eye of a needle than for a fat man to board
Mr.. LoWry's Kingdom of Earth represented
by a Harriet car at $50 p. M.
President Roosevelt shook $500 patriotic
fists on Jan. l. There's democracy for you!
Doc Bixby's teeth are getting loose-see
Nebraska State Journal. -. 49,. g.
It is not believed here that Susan B. Antho-
ny said that what the world needs is fewer
childreu.' It is not the remark Of a gentle
man. -...
Vaccinate the baby if you will, but keer
the formaldehyde out of his little milk unless
you want to ruin his complexion permanently
The first act of President Cantor of the
Manhattan district, of the Greater New Yorl
was to seal up the books Of the department o.
highways, presided over by Maurice HOlahan
a somewhat notorious Tammany heller. The
expectation is very strong that the secrets O.
the asphalt trust" will be discovered, by
which contracts have been let right along fol
asphalt paving at the rate of $3.50 yard
when precisely the same work costs. othel
cities about 50 a yard. The braves have
doubtless seen the trust for nice shake
down. Oh we have been easy!
Verbal work on the isthmian canal has be
gun again. See the dirt fly in congress?
kipIing's AK. - .-.-' -
Kipling's poem in the London Times excori
ating the British nation and calling for con
scription has raised a tremendous row il
England, and considerable bitter feeling ha
been aroused. ..'|sEs -. GE+~ s.
-,.ls. .e&1u
One Kipling, surname Rudyard, got out {
vicious =. -gf .s.s. r. IL
And laid around I'M London with loud, re
sounding whacks; -
He talked in mighty abillingsgatex and damned
Of the sne b Pa ep fals at the wickets an,
! the muddied OATS at the goals
And the row scared Awlfred Austin, the poe
I laureate, ;,ss~n. : Sd - 3,g
Who fed down the lane in terror and took:
nine-barred gate. r. IA e. :
Then the people rose in sorrow and called OF
. Chamberlain 49,. ~ -.s-
To rouse him from his slumber and haste1
to explain.
But Joseph said he did not know the trouble
gnawing ''kim,'
Or why this talking devil: had entered int
him.
| Then old Dom Paul, in Holland, he laughed
81. in mirthless mirth
| At the way his hard-worked farmers wer
" paving up the earth.
And he said, did Uncle Kruger, that tough oil
| dauntless one,
| That the fuss in southern Africa had hardl.
s. yet begun. :.
| And the moral of course is that when yo'
pick a man to fight with and try to TAX
away his property you want to avoid gettin'
hold of one Of these old fellows who read
the Old Testament and who is made out o
whalebone and India rubber.
A Shock to the Rooster.