davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

There is, or was, an army mule, a
pensioner of the United States-tra-
dition says that army mules are i'm
mortal, hence the doubt as to tense.
But this mule, Mexique, was ordered
to be sold at Mount Vernon barracks,
Alabama, in 1888, reports the New
York Tribune. He had been at the
post a long time, and had grown gray
in the service, having an honorable
record in the Mexican war, and the
officers at Mount Vernon asked the
quartermaster general to retain him
till the end of his days. This appli-
cation, signed by William A. Kobbe,
then an artillery lieutenant, and in
dorsed by a dozen proper military
authorities Including Gen. Hancock
and Gen. Sherman, is on record at
Washington. How the white mules
record grew in honor with successive
Endorsements may be seen from the
commanding generals letter:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Versatile Soldiers.

"All sorts of trades" said the cap
tain, were represented in the old
Union army. There were men who
could repair watches, who could mend
shoes, who could make trousers, who
could shoe horses, repair wagons, and
run locomotives. 1 remember on one
occasion the general asked all the
men in our brigade who knew any
thing about managing locomotive to
step ten PAGES to the front. Forty
men stepped forward on the instant,
and the general, nonpiused, said simp-
Iy: The hell you say Very well, let
me see you fix that old engine down
there In half an hour the engine
was ready for business
1.-The Twentieth Illinois, however.
took the prize for novelty in occupa-
lions. We had two men, Henry c.
Payne and Martin Bechtel, who, after
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Wins Roseberys Love
Lady Naylor-Leyland Said to Have Captured Heart
Of English Statesman
Engl1Sh statesman

will marry Lord Rosebery brings into
prospect the most interesting nup-
tials outside of the royal blooi. Such
a marriage will unite two persons
who fill the worlds eye in their re
spective personal accounts, and bring
together two great fortunes-for on
the death of his wife, who was Miss
Rothschild, Rosebery inherited sew
era1 large estates, besides fine bank
account.
Lord Rosebery-with all the space
he fills in the public eye-is by nature
and by habit a good deal of a re-
cluse. He is >one of the most omni-
vorous of readers, and for that rea-
son is never really alone. So habitu-
ated has be become in his solitary
communing with books that often lie
rushes from London to the country in
order to be alone there; and, vice
versa, very often he spends Sunday
alone in London because that happens
to be the day when most of his own
class are out of town and when, there
fore, he can be certain to remain I'M
disturbed. There is scarcely a being
more restless in Europe; or one who
so fits about from place to place. He
has beautiful house in Naples. He
is to-day at the bath in Hastings; to-
morrow at the bull fight in Barcelona;
the next day one hears of him in
Vienna or in Paris. He keeps up sew
eral palatial houses-at Dalmeny, in
Scotland; at Mentmore, in Bucks; at
| the Durdans, on Epson Downs, and at
| his house in Berkeley Square. And it
| is hard to tell when he is to be found
| is one or the other. The one thing GER
| tain is that he will never stop very
| long in any of them.
Head of a popular party, he never
| theless has given up none of the man
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Lady NayIor-LeyIand.

eighteenth century to visit some of
his residences-with the cornet every
where, the retinue of retainers, the
ample and varied equipages. You
may see him in the Summer time trav-
cling from one great house in Buck
fnghamshire to another with postil-
lions, quite as if he lived in the days
before the railway; and, in short, he
is grand seigneur to his finger tips
SOon-if the news that Newport
hears with so much interest is
authentic-Lord Rosebery will have
another house to fee to when his own
bore or fail to inspire him-the palace
at Hyde Park Gate, with its staircases
of Carrara marble and its paintings by
Murillo, its tapestries by Kopu, its
panels of Della Robbia faience, and it's
mistress, who is the subject of Amelia
Kussner's very exquisite miniature in
ivory.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
The Gen. Hooker Statue.

a large and influential delegation IS
desirable, as other cities are putting
forth claims for the honor of having
the reunion of the society for 1903
held at their several localities, so we
urge your cooperation in this matter,
not only in our own interests, but in
the interest of the state of Massachu-
sets, under whose official supervis-
ion the dedication will occur, and also
in the interest of the city of Boston,
which has eagerly welcomed our old
comrades in arms to it's patriotic soil
on all occasions. The committee will
carry with them communications
from Gov. Crane and Mayor Collins
for presentation to the business meet
ing of the society.
"This trip to Gettysburg will be of
unusual interest, owing to the dedica-
ton of the equestrian statue of Gen.
Slocum by the state of New York.
and the presence of the famous Sew
enth regiment, National Guards OF
New York. Many of the noted sur
viving leaders of our gallant Army of
the Potomac are to be present, as
well as the governors of New Jersey
and Pennsylvania"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

second son had for sponsors both the
Duke of Cambridge and the Duke of
York. Dukes, Duchesses, Earls and
Countesses were familiar figures in
her drawing rooms always.
Her titled husband was a tall and
handsome captain in the Life Guards.
In the beginning of their married life
people predicted that the beautiful
American would help him in his ca
reer. When he ran for Parliament
for Colchester that prediction re-
ceived it's first verifcation. She aided
him in his canvass, showing herself
everywhere. Voters found it impos-
sible to resist her beauty and her most
engaging personality.
The prediction held good when,
three years later, Naylor-Leyland re-
tired from Parliament and announced
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Not the place She Wanted.

The lady who had advertised for a
nurse had twins. When the girl
found it out she backed away.
But are you not an experienced
nurse?" asked the lady.
sYis, num- answered the girl, but
I'm only a retail nurse"
what do you mean by that?"
ct niver did a wholesale business.
and I'm not goin' to begin"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
CONFUSING to the Court.

At trial before an Irish justice,
the plaintiffs attorney had made an
eloquent and logical argument. When
the counsel for the defendant took
the floor a dialogue ensued which is
thus recorded in "Wit and Humor of
Bench and Bar"
What are you doing?" asked the
Justice, as the defendants counsel
began his argument.
CASE
Il don't want to hear both sides"
replied the justice. 1T has tindincy
to confuse the coort"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Uncle Sans Queer Pensioner.

Il have seen that mule, and
whether true or false, the soldiers
believe it was left at the Big Spring,
where Mount Vernon barracks now
are, at the time General Jackson's
army camped there, about 1890.
Tradition says it was once a sorrel,
bat now it is white from age.
."The quartermaster's department
will be chargeable with ingratitude
if that mule is sold or the care and
maintenance of it thrown on the char
table officers of the posi-. 1 advise
that it be kept in the department, fed
and maintained till death.
'W. T. SHERMAN.
"P. 81 think that mule was at
Fort Morgan, Mobile Point, when I
was there in 1912 w. T. s."
The secretary of war finally aIrect-
ed that this mule be kept and well
cared for, at public expense as long
as he lives
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Earned His Gratitude.

"Ah, WELL" said sour-natured spin
ster to the wife of the only man who
had ever wooed her, and whom she
had thrown over, your husband only
proposed to you out of revenge be-
cause I rejected him!"
quite SOL" the other retorted. But
he always says revenge has proved so
sweet that he can never feel anything
but gratitude to you'll"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

The amount of information which
may be drawn by an officer of quick
apprehension from trifiing indica-
lions is shown by the following anec-
dote of the civil war: During the bat
ties of the Wilderness a rebel shell
dropped within a few feet of Grant
and Meade. making a furrow in the
ground and bursting some distance
beyond Grant, without word, drew
from his pocket q small compass with
which he calculated the course of the
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Gen. Grants Readiness

she'll In five minutes afterward he
had piece or two of artillery posted
near by and opening fire soon silenced
the rebel battery, whose location had
been betrayed by the course of the
projecti1e- AS soon as this had been
done he asked the elevation of the
guns which had done such good work.
On being told, he soon established.
by calculation known to every artf1-
1erist, the important fact of the ex-
his own
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
An astonishing Gain.

Hobson-"How did you enjoy your
summer trip, Bagley?"
Bagley-"Had a delightful time.
Gained one hundred and thirty
pounds"
Hobson-"One hundred and thirty
pounds, 1 don't believe it."
Bagley-"Don't you? Well, here 1t
comes down the street Just wait a
moment and I'll introduce you"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

Instantly the referee decided the
fight in favor of. the pugllist with the
green trunks.
ssHow's that!" demanded the other
pugilist. He hasn't landed on me
once!"
81 can't help that" replied the ref
cree. you lowered your guard at
a critical moment, and he could have
caught you on the jaw. You are
constructive1y knocked out"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
The Genuine Panama.

Marie, where is my new Panama."
New? Why, that yellow and bent
up hat didn't look as if it was new"
WE'LL, where is it?''
t'Why, it looked so old / cut holes
in each side and made a bonnet for
the mare"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Oh, So Simple.

''It seems to me very easy" she re-
marked.
''What?" he asked.
hasn't it?"
Certainly
'Well, all you have to do is to find
out what the exception is in order to
be right all the time"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
What Is Necessary.

"You never can make that kind of
dog fashionable" said the expert
why not?" asked the novice in
canine affairs.
Because" replied the expert, "he
isn't small enough to be useless, stu
pid enough to be utterly worthless or
ugly enough to be interesting"
This man, it may be said, had made
a study of the pets of fashion.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Driven to IL.

G1adys-"Maggie's neck is certain
ly beautiful, but I don't think she
ought to show so much of it, do your"
Fred cher cousin)-''Well, you see,
she has neither face, figure, nor mon
ey; it's simply case of neck or moth
ing with her."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Getting Into Trouble.

Mrs. Shape Gin the midst of her
reading)-'.I see man in Belfast has
got into trouble by marrying three
women"
Mr.. Shape (under his breath)-"I
know a man a good deal nearer home
who got into trouble by marrying one
woman
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Everything on Earth.

Il have lost my wife," said the sad
looking man to the f1oorwalker of a
mammoth modern department store.
ooh, see," replied the floorwalker;
-'you wish to buy another; our marked
down sale of secondhand wives is
now going on up on the twenty-third
foor-elevator to your right"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
The Average All Right.

do they set good table at your
clearinghouse"
well, the average is good"
What do you mean by that?"
"Why, the butter is strong and the
coffee is weak, but II you consider
them both together the average is sat
isfactory.''
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
That Mas Different.

Fond Parent-Why in the name OF
gumption is that kid of Nexdore's
yelling around our yard?
Fond Parentess-Why, George? I'm
surprised at you'll That is our own
little Gladys singing.
Fond Parent-Ohi
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

Shiloh, made a medicine of yellow
dock and some other roots, which
they sold to the natives as a cure-al
for ague, malaria, fever, headache,
backache and what they were fond of
calling general debility They sent
home for bottles, and they sold gal
Ions of this medicine before the boys
learned what they were doing. Then
they dubbed them DOCTORS and that
name chung to them, not only in the
army, but after they came home, and
the last that knew of them they
were Doctor Payne and Doctor
Bechtel."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
In Trouble.

'Alas, alas" he cried, eff only my
three girls had been boys"
In truth, he was in sore trouble,
with three young men drumming
three banjos and singing three differ
ent love songs under three windows
at one time.
''I might as we'll be a victim of in
somnia," ne walled.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Most cosmopoIitan COLONY.

British Guiana is the most cosmo-
politan of British colonies, the pop
ulation consisting of an admixture of
Dutch. French, British and American
colonists, East Indian coolies and the
aborigines of the country
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
A Corner in Eggs.

"That old hen just seems to
be bursting with pride" remarked
the farmers dog.
Pride? Nothing of the sort. It's
eggs" replied the Leghorn rooster.
."She thinks she's a fnancier, and
she's trying to stop laying until
there's a rise in price,"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Parental Advice.

Young Monkey I'm going to
be the guest of honor at a dinner
given by some leaders of the -four
hundred" tonight.
Old Monkey-We1l, for heavens
sake, try to control your feelings!
Don't look any more bored than you
can possibly help.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
The Time Had Passed.

Mr.. Borem-Dear me! when I'm
enjoying myself 1 quite forget the
flight OF time. Don't hesitate to tell
me when it's time to go.
Miss Tyre-DOut-It's too late now.
You should have asked me to do that
long ago.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Fatal Error.

mo" admitted the girl with the
auburn hair; 81 don't know what ails
him. He hasn't called for two weeks"
s'Were you doing that topographic
landscape on the big piece of sheep
skin when he called 1ast?" asked her
brother.
Eyes"
eWell, that's where you burnt out
your fuse
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

Death Result Of Incorrect Diagnosis.
Dr. Jean Jacques, well-known ,spe-
cial1st of diseases, attached to the UNI
versity of Paris, diagnosed his own all
ment as indigestion when it should
died
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
In the Same Boar.

Lady Visiting asylum)-"And these
poor creatures, how came they to be
like that?"
Doctor-"Ah, very sad, but they are
quite harmless. One was Tilted by a
lady and lost his reason as a conse-
quence. The other lost his reason
through marrying the same lady"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
In kentucky.

Gayboy-They never say in Ken
lucky that a man takes to anything
like duck to water. They have a
better phrase.
Rounder-What is it?
Gayboy-Like a Colonel to corn
juice.-Judge.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
The Annual DELUXE.

Cobwigger-Do you know, my boy.
why the minister's prayers for rain
have not been answered?
Freddy guess God is saving It
up for the day when the Sunday
school gives the picnic.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
His Business.

T hold" said the good feeder, ''that
no man has any business to work on
an empty stomach"
81 have to do it very frequently"
said the stranger.
Then I'll bet you've found it
doesn't pay
Usually it pays as much as 500.
I'm a surgeon
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Not Their Fault.

Marriage is so often a failure" said
Mrs. Caustique, that I don't blame
women bit for being old maids"
Blame them?" said the crustv
bachelor. "Of course not. 1t isn't
their fault"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Not Necessary.

why" exclaimed her brother scorn-
fully, 81 don't believe that beau OF
yours could lift $50 pounds
He doesn't have to-" she answered
triumphantly 81 only weigh u.s."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
RrotherIx Love.

Nance-"Jack Morton proposes In
this letter. wonder if he really loves
me: he has only known rae a week"
The Brother@"Oh, then. perhaps he
does."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
A Paradox.

"You are so dreadfully ugly, dear,
that it must be that 1 love you, or
1 would not think you SO handsome"
-Jugend.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

THE younger the girl the more
ready her speech" says the philoso-
pher. This, if true, should boost the
spinster above par in the matrimonial
market
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
A Good Definition.

Sammy" said the teacher, what
is meant by nutritious food?"
Something to eat that amt got no
taste to it," replied Sammy.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Something Worse.

Roe Shelle-Why did jerks kill
his wife's parrot? Did it take to
swearing?
Newark Branch-worse! 1t took to
initiating the lawn mower.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
THE HUMOR OF LIFE
FEW ITEMS SHOWING THE
BRIGHTER SIDE Of THINGS.

His Wife's Dowry-Sammy's Re-
markabIe Definition of Nutritious
Food-Remunerativ Work Done on
an Empty Stomach.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Special Correspondence.)

have reached New
K / port that Lady Naylor-Ley-
land the richest and most
tSN beautiful widow in England,
probably ere long will become
the wife of Lord Rosebery, and
that a visit from the leader Of
the opposition in Parliament, and one
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
Oh dIl 'fir6IdIes
THE ENGINEER.

No praise or blame to spur me
In this my hour of trial,
stand and grip the lever.
1 stand and watch the dial
know no battle passion
To set my blood aglow,
i work in sober fashion,
But if we fall 1 know
That boiled. or fayed. or stihed,
Or mashed amongst the gear,
die, a mere noncombatant.''
An unknown engineer.
u. H. k Adkin in London Spectator
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04

Midst Maxim's click and rattle,
Quick-fires' crack and scream.
Dazed with the lust of battle,
Half blind with smoke and steam,
Men face the flying shrapnel.
And dare the bursting shell,
When every guns a shambles,
And all the decks hell.
But pent and caked. unknowin2
Which way the fight incline,
I keep my engines going
Beneath the water line.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1902-10-04
An Adequate Supply.

'sHenpeck has given up smoking.
eh? That takes q good ded OF win
power"
Eyes: his wife has IL.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-08-27
County Tax Rolls Filled.

The assessment rolls for the county
of Luna for the year 1902 have been re-
ceived from Assessor Edward Penning-
ten. The taxable property of the coun-
ty for this year is 81. 1895, 673.65, an in
IA of SIP. 265 over last year. AS.
SCISSOR Andrew Kelly. of Sierra county,
has filed the assessment rolls of that
county. The taxable property for this
year is $1,476.S27.SO; an increase of
s153,065.6S v e last year.. Assessor
Thomas Fleming, of Otero county, has
sent in the tax rolls for his county for
the year 1902. The taxable property for
this year is 81, 1879, 429.51, an increase
of s161,122.37 over last year. Assessor
Nabor Mirabal, of Valencia county
has sent in the tax rolls for the present
year for his county and they show the
taxable property to be SSH, ll0.41, q
decrease of S3s, 5000.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-08-27
Bulletin on Guadalupe County.

The bureau of immigration has just
issued an edition of 5000 copies of bul.
letin No. 16, containing an exhaustive
and up to date description of the re,
sources. climate and conditions of the
county of Guadalupe. The bulletin is
well illustrated and will be distributed
by the passenger department of the e.
Paso & Rock Island railroad, by the
Chicago, Rock Island & Mexico rail
road, by citizens Of the county and by
the bureau. Its general distribution
will do the county much good and at
tract capital and immigrants to tht
county.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-08-27
For over sixty Years.

An old and we'll tried remedy.
Mrs. Winslcw's Soothing Syrup has
been used for W. sixty years by
millions of mothers for their children
while teething with perfect success
1t soothes the child, soften the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind collie, and
is the best remedy for diarrhoea. Is
pleasant tc the taste. Sold by drug
gists in every part of the world.
twenty-five cents a bottle. It's value
Is i~ncalculable. Be sure and ask for
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup, and
take nc other kind.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-08-27
Articles Of Incorporation.

The Mescalero Live Stock company
has fled its articles of incorporation
in the office of the territorial secre-
tary. The object of the corporation is
the breeding, buying, raising, selling,
trading, butchering and working on
shares of goats, sheep. cattle, horses
and other live stock; also to buy and
sell real estate. water ranges and tim
Der. Principal place of business, Ala
mogordo. Otero county. Capital stock,
SIC, 600, divided into 400 shares at s25
each. The three directors are; George
Carl, Rubin and w. A. Hawkins.
The Hanover Mining and Smelling
company has filed its articles of incor
corporation in the office of the terri
torial secretary. The object Of the cor
poration is the buying, selling, leasing
of copper, silver. gold and other mines
in Grant county and the mining mill
ing and smelling Of ores. The princi