The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-08
MY NEW HOUSEKEEPER
BIZ HORACE EATON WALKER.

me to him; that | was good girl, an
educated young lady, and with little
patience and perseverance could be de-
veloped into a real helpmeet.
Il take her for better and for worse,
my dear Mr.. Hartshorn," he said. "and
I really believe that none of us will
live to regret my union with your only
child"
Of course, we all hoped so and be-
lieved so; for Adolphus Marston was
fine young man, of good family, and
with habits of life above the average.
So matters were consummated, l be-
coming his willing bride.
At first we took our meals at the
nearest restaurant as our new cottage
was not yet fitted, to the requirements
of my fastidious new husband. l had
resolved from the very first not to ruff
fle his temper; and while mine was not
of the sweetest, | being to some in
tents and purposes spoiled child,
decided to hold my peaceiftheh heavens
fell. l saw a growing impatience on
his part, however. and could easily see
that taking his meals at cafe was de-
cidedly annoying on account of the de-
lays of orders, the muddy coffee, the
impertinence of walters, and other dis
agreeable etceteras.
Finally ventured to ask him If he
was tired of taking his meals out. He
was very tired. and was now ready for
business, the business of Housekeeping.
But, Dolphy, may ask the name
of our housekeeper?
1T is Adolphus Marston!"
simply stared, for so far as was
aware, he knew little or nothing Of the
culinary art. 1 patiently awaited
coming events, which were now rapid
ly casting their shadows before.
Not long after this we we're happi-
" settled in our new home; the res
taurant was abandoned for all time.
and our larder filled to repletion. OF
course our first venture was breakfast,
and wondered at his remaining In
bed so late; as it was an excessively
cold morning, the sitting room and
kitchen fires would both need tending,
and he was due at the office at 8
o'clock.
was later awakened however from
light nap by hearing Adolphus NOV
ing hurriedly about the sitting room.
An intense chillness was in the atmos-
phere. and there seemed to be trouble
of some kind.
| wondred what it was, but l did not
wonder audibly. Silence seemed to- be
golden at this hour. Presently heard
Adolphus descend the kitchen stairs,
and arising. inspected the sitting
room. 1t was sight to behold. Ashes
to right of me, ashes to left of me,
ashes everywhere. l could have sat
down and cried; but as he haL not lost
patience Hhv should I? So, on hear
ing his returning footsteps hastily re-
tired, and when he re-entered the
room loaded with kindling wood pa
per, shavings and whole box Of
matches, l was as unconscious as the
seven sleepers. But poking his chilled
nose through the portieres Adolphus
announced:
"Hortense, the sitting room fire is
out"
"Indeed!"
And the fire is also out in the
kitchen stove
Cant help you?"
"Oh, no! I'm the housekeeper for one
week. At the end of that tim shall
either commit suicide go to lunatic
asylum or fall into high fever"
After more noise than threshjng
machine, and dust, smoke and some
remarks Adolphus announced to him.
self that the fire was going. AS soon
as he left the room arose and dressed,
not to receive callers, but in my COM
monest gown, as from present indica-
ton l knew that the unexpected was
sure to happen, and it did. / under
stood very little about a broom, and
much less about carpet sweeper, but
between them both l managed to make
the sitting room presentable. Then
a call from the kitchen.
"Hortense are you up?
Eyes, dear"
How much water do you put in bis
cult flour?'
Just little, so it will knead, DOL
ply, DEAR"
A rattle of dishes, noise of spoons
and moulding board, them
"Hortense, how much cream of tar
tar for a batch of biscuit?"
Il guess teaspoonsul."
"How much soda?'
II gless teaspoonful."
"You could tell me what a quaver, a
demi-semi-quaver is in music, bar, a
breve, a crochet, a chord, and not
guess at it. So don't guess tea
sponnful, but how much Soda
Enough to suit the taste.'
TASTES differ"
so do cooks"
A half hour passed away, 1 did not
dare TO descend to the kitchen; the
| noise there was simply overwhelming.
1 could hear him bang the roller over
the moulding board, then crash! He
had dropped a dish. and l heard him
say he didn't see how dish could
break into 50 many pieces. Later
heard the oven door snap to, few
hasty steps, and then deathly silence.
What could it mean? Why this still
ness? Had he fallen in fit from
mental excitement? Or was he quiet
ly strapping his razor preparatory to
cutting his throat? The suspense was
horrible. l could not bear it! How
cruel of me not to share his mornings
troubles!
"Hortense!"
The name came with double excla-
nations, and the voice seemed nat
ural.
What, dear Dolphy?"
breakfast is ready"
What a relief! | repaired to the
room below; sitting in front of the