Rock Island Argus., 1902-10-24
DAILY SHORT STORY
Who Passed the
Great Football Man?
IOriginal.l

1t won't do to mention the colleges
| or the parties interested. They must
all go under fictitious names. Wen
call the colleges Kings and Queens.
Kings was large institution. and
Queens was Il small one. But Queens
had been lugged through a series of
successful games for the championship
by Spangler. splendid. powerful fell
low, whose only fault was that he was
always in danger of failing on his ex-
animation. And now, when the final
game OF the series was coming on, he
had to go and make a guy of himself
by breaking down in analytical geom-
etry. No student could play football
for the championship who had not
passed in every subject. The conse-
quence was that Queens must lose aft
er all her victories because the great
hulk of fellow couldn't learn math-
ematics.
Blast mathematics" said the team
and the college generally. whats
mathematics compared with football?"
Now, Professor Plum of the chair of
mathematics had every reason to help
Spangler through. He had himself
been the best tackle when an under
graduate the college had ever had and
was still devoted to the game. More
over. he was engaged to be married to
Spangler'S sister. He had agreed to
give the athlete a final trial the day
before the game was to be played and
be as lenient as possible with his pa
pers, but the professor was a conscien-
tious man. and Spangler must get the
average required by college law.
And so it was that the day before the
game. when everybody said that Span
Gler should be spending his time legiti-
mately practicing with the team in
stead OF wasting IL in useless figures,
he was sitting in n classroom endeavor-
ing to answer the questions Plum had
written out for him.
1t was S o'clock before Spangler
handed in his papers. and Professor
Plum, who did not relish spending an
evening apart from his betrothed. took
them to the little boudoir where Alice
usually received him and, taking
hfs pencil, began to look them over,
giving each answer n number denoting
its value. The rule was that the stu
dent must get sixty out of /. possible
hundred in order TO pass. Alice. who
had been graduated at the head of her
class the year before at the woman's
college attached to the university. ask
ed the professor TO read the questions
and their answers aloud.
There were ten questions. The first
was a complete breakdown and was
given zero. The second was answer
ed perfectly and received 100 the third
so and so on to the end. AS the pro-
fessor put down the numbers Alice
added them in her head, and when
eight had been answered with only n
total of 400, or an average of 30, she
knew that unless the next two Ques-
tiOns received 100 each the result would
be a failure.
81 think" she said, that you made a
slight mistake in giving only 80 to the
sixth question. 1t was in two parts.
The first part was not answered en-
tirely wrong, and the second was all
right"
After n brief argument the professor
was convinced and added 80 to the
score. The eighth question was fairly
answered and secured so. This gave
a total of $40. and the last question
must receive 90 to make the required
average. The professor, who had not
kept tally, was about to mark GO for 1t,
when Alice stopped him.
"The first four out of five subdivi-
sions in this question are right" she
said.
''The third is wrong"
Figure it again."
He did so and found an error in his
own work. He changed the marking
to so.
Before you take the average" said
Alice, who knew that it was still short
by 10 numbers, 'look over the fourth
question again."
The professor did so, and Alice took
issue with him on his Interpretation of
the answer, claiming that the student
meant one thing while the professor
claimed he meant another. Plum was
not thoroughly convinced, but, feeling
that one on trial should have the ben
eft of all doubts, yielded and added 10
to the total.
81 sincerely hope" said the profess
or, that the average will be up to the
mark, but I fear not"
Meanwhile several hundred students
who had tracked the professor had
outside the house and now
began to howl for the result.
"Plj make the addition before Them"
said Plum. Then neither they nor
the faculty can accuse me, since don't
know the result myself"
Going out on the piazza, he faced the
expectant crowd.
Gentlemen, 1 have laid down a fair
value for each question. l do not
know the result, but win strike an
average"
'T'u do II for youi' cried the captain