La Junta tribune., 1902-04-23
SAD NAN IN ,,mso.
Escapes sms'ipo. Quarantine aud
Coss on Wsspsth.


by, propuetress OF the Finity
House, took a shot at John Stat
tery last Saturday, the ahray tak-
ing place 10 the rear OF the hotel,
and the ball passing through the
rim OF Slattery's hat.
Ever since Mr.. Caldwell's mar
rage TO Mrs. Mumby. he has I'M
agiped that he was proprietor oil
the house by ngbt OF marriage.
and has therefore put on more airs
and assumed more authority than
an English lord. Saturday was
pay day. and question arose /
among the boarders as to whom |
they should pay their board Mr..
Caldwell or Mrs. Caldwell John
Slattery advised the boarders TO
pay Mrs. Caldwell.
Mr.. Caldwell heard Of this ad
vice. and having previously filed
himself brim full of booze, rotgut
and sundry other concoctiors OF d
fiery nature. felt that this advice
was an assault upon his lordly
dignity that could only he wiped
out by the shedding OF blood. He
sent messenger to Mr.. Slattery's
room three different times to tell
him he wished to see him. Mr.
Slattery, thinking he could explain
things, went to see Mr.. Caldwell.
and after few words. the latter
took shot at him as related
above. MIR. Slattery, as soon as
he found out that he was not hurt,
proceeded to wipe up the earth
with the lordly Caldwell in true
Irish fashion.
Caldwell was placed under ar
rest by Sheriff Barr, put in charge
Of two inexperienced deputies,
with orders to take MIR. Caldwell
to the pest house, the Finity
House having been.quarantined for
the past two weeks. On the way
to the pest house, Caldwell es
capped from the deputies and re-
turned to town. The sheriff then
deputized Bob Chown and request
ed him TO take Caldwell out TO the
pest house. Bob, who by the way
seems to have some idea OF the
powers OF an officer, proceeded to
take Mr.. Caldwell in charge, but
the latter would not have it that
way and showed fight. Bob, with
the aid OF big "forty-hve." then
proceeded to make chopping
block OF Mr. Caldwell's head, and
threatened to reduce ii 20 the con
sistency OF pulp. Chown was
making commendable progress in
that direction, when Caldwell Fl
nal!y decided to obey orders and
walked off as meek and mild as
Mary's little lamb.
Caldwell came here about year
ago and commenced boarding with
Mrs. Mumby. He discovered
that she was hard working, con
scientious woman, and that she
was making a success OF the board
ing house business. He thought
he saw the opportunity OF his life,
and forthwith proceeded to play the
goody, goody racket, went to
church, kept sober. paid his debts
and worked every day-until he
married Mrs. Mumby. Since that
time, however, he has been tanked
up on booze almost perpetually.
whea Caldwell "a sui,or.
Caldwell saint would be.
But when Caldwell got married,
Devil OF a saint was he.
He is great admirer OF the
state OF married bliss, and seems
to regard it as sort of rat trap, or
rather bird trap, to ensnare unso-
phisticated women, while he does
as he pleases. He entertained
Mrs. Mumby and all of her board
ers with Munchausen tales of his
ancestry. pedigree. lineage, varied
experiences, wealth, etc. etc. In
fact, Munchausen is back num-
ber since the advent of Caldwell.
A boarder, who kept tally on his