The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-02-22
A FEW PAGES FROM THE DIARY OF ELIHU
HOPKINS.

face" marked onto the nrSI page, ana
then the man wot rote the book told
why he rit it. So thought perhaps
I should tell why 1 rit this here fer
to be published. Well, fust of all, I
hev alters kept a diery of all wot hap
pened in my life. Every nit 1 rote
wot he'd happened throo the day. I
hev large book now we'll filled. I
rote it all myself. Second reson fer
doin' this is, thet me childrun hev
asked me ter publish some things from
me diery, and sed tibet perhaps Good
make neat fortune out of ther skeme.
They told me how thet there Kiplin'
and Ruskin got big money fer tellin'
wot he'd happened ter happen in their
lives.
Some may wonder where I got all
me edgerkashun fer ter be able ter
rite this here diery, and l sey regards
thet, thet I went ter skool some, but
hav pikt up most of me book 1ern-
in es 1 went along. And do say thet
1 aint ct all ershamed of it, nuther.
I got it all throo me hard werk. Well,
here ar these pages taken at random
from me diery:
JERLY 6-I got up this mornin'
with tooth axe thet KEEP a jumpin'
like kikin' mule. 1 never he'd any
thing like it afore. I hev ofen he'd
ther tooth axe, and alters got it stopt
or else took the pinchers and pult it
meself. got the linerment first and
tryd tibet. put some on thet tooth,
but it aked worse than ever. So then
I went ter ther barn and got some
horse linerment I he'd bought from a
feller. He wuz one of them slick
tongued fellers wot could talk like a
steam thresher under full steam. He
sed wot all thet 1inerment wood do.
He sed it would make good furni-
tur polish, if deluded with water, and
thet it would cure corns, and thet it
would cure anything in hoss from
the collie to ther sore mouth and blind
staggers. He sed it wuz jest as good
fer ther man es it wuz fer the hoss,
and thet it would cure dyspepsia and
heart trouble and corns and all sech.
Well, I got ther bottle and poured
some on thet tooth. I never seed
sech hot stuff in all me life. 1t burnt
the skin from me mouth and wher ii
teched me face. 1 heve he'd ter eat
toast fer dinner and supper. I seed
thet thet tooth wuz in fer bisnes, and
thet pesky boss linerment would not
cure it. I got ther pinchers and puld
fer all I could, but could not bulge
thet tooth. 1t WIZ too much fer me.
Mandy sed then ter go ter the dentist.
1 he'd never benn ter a dentist afoer,
and never expect to go agin, no not
even if me head swells like a corr
basket and me teeth all of them dance
hop skotsh. Ther dentist sed ter me
"Well, ser, did yer want me ter take
thet out by freezin' the gum p
"Freezin' ther gum?" 1 sed, "why,
this is ther sixt of Jerly, I never hero
of things freezin' this time of ther
yer" Seed he wuz trim ter keeI
back a smile, and I felt me dandel
rizin'. "Well," sed he, cit stop:
ther pain" "Well, then," sed I
"I don't ker, jest SO this tooth stop:
it's jumpin'." " "Set ther in thel
chair then," he sed, and I sot. He
come with a thing and showed it inter
me mouth. "Whers the feezin' at?
I sed. 'Jest you wait" he sed tel
me, "bring ther pinchers. Well
he got a hold of thet tooth and pulld
and 1 yelld; and he pulld harder ant
I yelld harder. 1t come out after
wot I thougt wuz about an hour an6
half. He sed it wuzn't a mint.
didn't see no ice, but he sez he frizt
it, and 1 let him hev his way. Thel
oil in this her lamp is burnin' out ant
I'll hev ter stop.
P. S.-Bought cow from Sy Smith
terday, and pead fer ther -four wot
bought from Henry. ~ II. Allen,
IN MeWt0wu { (Pa.) Enterprise.