davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
WHY HIS STOVE WOULDN'T HEAT
Uncle Billy Had Novel Plan to Keep
Down His Coal Bills.

Uncle Bi,ly Had IA Novel Plan to Keep
Down His Coal Bills.
That ignorance is bliss and that the
loftiest men should be the humblest
are two somewhat irrelevant axioms
which often are most interesting when
traced to their remote point of conjunc-
ton.
out in the cemetery the other day."
a matter-offact elderly man remarked:
Il noticed that Uncle Billy's tombstone
needed Strengthening up. A touch would
do it. and as pulled it into position
couldn't help smiling Now | was not
smiling at the crooked tombstone but
al an early recollection-an episode in
connection with this same Uncle Billy.
He was fine man and power in
a.a community. but he had been frugal
j reared all our first settlers had to
make s7,ono9y science. you know:
and ever. after Uncle Billy had grown
~ s&.fAY III fAe wholesale dry goods
brAln@sss. @e All! practiced the most
r.a-G 5l*t9lA<ss ~ saving. by which he
has5 accumulated money. | was a clerk
III NiDr@ s'Dse. "A We used to call
hem wA@i he MA quite an elderly
HAN. 4 hae1%ig; Ae was and had
.Yi0ster SISTER. 4 u1G sarah for his
house keeper
N eli. TT bought Z Lev store from
Us. fine library store-no furnaces at
that time in The ordinary homes in this
city In day OF TWO lie dropped in to
10
-dlcn II throw out enough beat 70 warm
a cat He WAS droll-Cncle Billy was
but be Tad fine. courtly bearing. TOO.
The firm sent me out to his house 10
see what WAS the matter witt that
stove Al the door Aunt Sarah neT me
and said in d low tone William. il
you will make your Uncle William take
peck Of brickhats ont Of that stove
think il will hold coal enough to warm
the room.
Sure enough the stove was half-full
of brickbats. II was Uncle Billys fru-
gal idea that all stoves held TOO much
coal for their own good. and that he
could cut down his coal bills by q deep
layer Of brickbats in the bed Of the
stove. | took them all cut. of course,
he blinked painfully as did so. Then
| made rousing fire and Aunt Sarah
soon had to open window TO cool the
room.
Another nephew inherited the bulk
of Uncle Billy's wealth." said the mat
ter-of-fact man. according to the De-
troit Free Press. II see his name now
and then in Boston's most fashionable
social register and hear of his elegant
seaside cottage life and l wonder-yes,
l do wonder how he would feel if he
knew of Uncle Billy's scheme to save
money for him by burning brickbats."
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
HE HAD NO CASE,
The Judge Gives Reasons for Ruling
Against the Farm Hands.


Against the Farm Hands.
Justice does not always frown, Tor
now and then a judge will unbend and
illuminate his decisions with the light
of humor. Sterling b. Torrey, judge of
the Circuit Court of jefferson County,
Kentucky, is such Il magistrate Here
is the decision which he rendered in a
suit brought by a farmland against
his employer to recover damages for
having poisoned himself with Paris
green, which he was ordered to put on
potato-bugs. 1t was Il hot day, and
the man had turned back his shirt at
the throat exposing his chest to the
poison. The judge said:
The plaintiff exceeded the scope of
his employment in sprinkling Paris
green elsewhere than on the potato
vines, as his special and exclusive
agency was to kill the bugs basking in
the shade Of said potato-vines; the
plaintiffs act in allowing the defend
ants Paris green to come in contact
with his flesh. instead of with the flesh
of the bugs, was unauthorized and ultra
wires; the mental and physical suffer
ing Of which the plaintiff complains
was the result Of his own wrong in
misapplying the defendants Paris
green to purposes other than those for
which he was employed to apply it. and
besides. is damnum absque injuria; the
plaintiff, in opening his clothes and ex-
posing himself to the Paris green, WAS
plaintiff knew as well as the defendant
that Paris green was poisonous. If he
did not know that Paris green was a
poison. this suit should not have been
brought in his name. but by guard
tn
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
there firmly.
1t is ii venerable superstition that an

1t is venerable superstition that an
egg cannot be broken between the
hands. AS the total number of those
who have put this to the test is very
problematical. there is great chance
for some one to make the experiment
in full assembly. and prove to skepti
cal world what is the structural DOW
er of an egg. A fresh egg would, for
obvious reasons. be the safest variety
to try with. And there is really no rea-
son why the most timid should not mex:
summer take an egg out to sea when
bathing and squeeze it under water
where there will be small danger of
spelling clothes.
But this by the way. A cleaner ex-
pertinent requires only piece of strong
thread long enough to pass twice round
mans hands and hips. the hands be-
ing held palms inwards against the side
Of the thighs. We very much doubt
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

go away and not see ME again. shall
miss him at first, expect. A dancers
life is a lonely one. you know. SHE
has so few friends, and unless She
All, there is the call boy. Well. good
by-and if don't see-Teddy- again-
say good-by to him-fOr me-"
But Miss Harper had risen, and was
holding Madge Baptistc's hands in
hers, while two tears ran down hel
cheeks. 20, don't. please! How cruel
you must think me! | didn't mean to
l really didn't. But his mother was So
unhappy. and thought you We're a
| mean. didn't dream you really cared
for him. He shall marry you! know
he loves YOU" and then she burst
out crying.
Miss Baptiste. Curtains waiting.
Hurry up" yelled small youth at
the door.
LET it wait; can't comet" replied the
dancer. CURLY. Then in soft gentle
voice to GwendOline: Don't cry, dear,
you have been ever so kind. | know
you meant well in coming. But don't
think | had better see him again; you'll
make much better wife than /"
There was suspicious break in her
voice.
mo, no." said Gwendoline. between
her sobs, blushing violently; II never
thought of that only care for him
as sister," but as she said it. she
realized that she lied.
Come, dry your eyes-why, I'm be-
ginning now. What pretty pair we
are! Poor Ted! Why here are two
girls each trying to make the other
marry him"
"You-you-will marry him. Prom
Use! | shall never forgive myself--if
you don't. l did not know you were
80 good and SO beautiful"
'Why, how do You know it now:
Perhaps am only humbugging you"
You are mott see it in your eyes.
You will marry him-won't you?"
what will father and mother say"
80, I'll interview Them" laughed
Gwen, drying her eyes.
Even as you interviewed me? Yes.
will marry Teddy if you really wish
it, but not else. couldn't hurt such
Il good little thing as you"
And then both women began to cry
again, holding each others hands.
The manager had to announce that
Miss Madge Baptiste was unable to
perform that night.
And Miss Gwendoline Harper also
announced, in Colonel Langley's draw
ing-room. that Madge Baptste and her
cousin Ted were quite right to marry
each other, and that she would helo
them through the ceremony.
And Ted kissed her and said she was
a brick, and the Colonel hoisted the
white flag.
And after it was all over, Gwendolne
sat in her bedroom holding photo of
her cousin in her hand. And her tears
splashed dismally on the faded por-
trait IL hope she will love hini-as
much as love him." she said softly
Madame.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

II You can. keep your balance. The CEN
ter of gravity, as the scientists say. is
upset. And you will find the same thing
when you lie fiat on the floor and try to
rise up without raising the heels. And
you get it again if you stand with your
back to the wall and your heels three
inches up the wainscoting and try to
pick up ,wineglass set between the
heels. Ry-and-by. before putting the
wineglass away set it OH a low table
and, keeping your hands behind YOU.
pick 1t up with your teeth. Most people.
especially those blessed with long
noses. find this feat difficult unless they
are wide-awake enough to go for the
farther edge of the glass. Not, of course
that we hint anything Wellingtonian
about the unsuccessful.
A few experiments with the fingers
First place your hands palm to palm
ana the tinger-tips touching, and separ
ate any pair Of fingers half an inch.
Then. turning the middle fingers in.
wards so that the third joints touch try
TO separate the third fingers And final.
~ tuck hand under an armpit and
Try TO get the thumb into the palm.
lhls Is well calculated to teach you that
the wrist muscles are sensitive.
We can strongly recommend the fol.
lowing for the smoking room. Offer a
wager that no one will cut cigar-silk
cream through with sharp knife. ANY
one who takes you up imperls his
money badly, for the knife ninety-nine
times out of one hundred cuts all the
strands but the last. which frays out
uninJured by the blade and leaves Won
the winner.
We keep for our last feat which.
while apparently Of the simplest, is a
physical and scientific impossibilitv.
lake a cotton-reel and remove the la.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

Put a coin on the edge of table and,
with one eye closed, walk quickly up
to it and knock it off the table. You
are more than likely 70 miss it alto
gether, because single eye is bad
judge of distance. The difference of
angle at which each eye sees an object
gives us the idea of sOlidity and the
power of guessing that objects posi-
ton. Hence the solid effect of a stereo-
SCOPE picture taken simultaneously
through two lenses as far apart as the
human eyes.
Next procure silk hat Ga friends is
as good as any one else's), and see II
anybody present can throw ten out OF
a pack OF cards into it from distance
of eight feet. 1t is amusing to note how
the cards fly straight for the hat. and
in the last few inches twist aside and
fall anywhere rather than within the
brim. Like the bad sporting shot, you
may have better chance if you don't
aim in the right direction.
After having tried to move your
hands simultaneously different ways,
go and stand tightly in the corner of a
room. Then raise the outside leg. and,
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

whether he will be able to break the
thread with an extending movement Of
his arms if the thread be passed over
the middle joints Of the fingers. Should
he succeed. let him with the thread at
tach the ferulc end of a walking-stick
to something firm. and. holding the
stick at arms length by the handle, try
TO break the thread. The stick must not
be pulled towards the body.
Yet Il third test. this time with cot
ton, the place of the stick being taken
by an ordinary luggage-la bel, which n
TO be held between the fingers fhe
thumb must not he used and pulled
1t is more likely that the label VIII slip
from the fingers than that the cDttea
will give way.
Turning to different class of e1r,4r3-
mcnts. we invite our readers ~ witt.
on blank circle of paper the figures
exactly as they appear on a c.ock-fsce
The circle must not be turned round ~
the fingers are added. begin a, twelve
and work honestly round 10 IL again.
We have all consulted the clock hur-
drcds of times. and we ought. from
sheer familiarity. to be able 10 make
short work of this puzzle: but our eyes
are in some ways very blind, and be-
fore the circuit is complete we shall
probably be in trouble
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
THE OLD HOUSE.

1t stands in a dcsolate. weed-grown gar
den,
Where once the rose and the lilac grew,
And the lily lifted Il waXen chalice
TO catch the wine of the summers dew.
The grass creeps in DER the messy TIRES
hold.
The dust lies deep on the rottins tloor
And the wind. at its will. is coming. 60
ing.
Through broken window and open door,
Oh, poor old house, do you grieve as men
do.
For the vanished things that were
yours of yore?
Like a heart in which love was one time
tenant,
But has gone away to come back no
more.
DO you dream of the dead as the days
pass over.
OF the pang of parting and joy of birth
In hearts turned dust? All, that dust is
scattered
BY winds of a lifetime to ends of
earth!
See. Here by the path is little bios
SOM
1t lifts to the sunshine n fragile face.
1t springs from Il root that some dead
hand planted
A century back in the dear home place
Little thought they whom the old house
sheltered
That life would fade as the leaves that
fall;
They had their day and are all forgot
tell
The little flower has outlived them all!
milwaukee, Sentinel.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
SnufT-Taking in America.

1t has been a widespread impression
that snuif-taking had been almost aban-
doned in this country. or that the num-
Der of men and women who still ad-
here to this od-time habit was absurd
ly small. Yet the chief snuff company
of America. in its annual report show
ed net earnings of more than $1.O0O,OOO.
The great persons of the earth do not
now exchange gifts of gold snuff boxes
studded with diamonds. as they did
when the First Napoleon was the auto
crat of Europe. but the use of tobacco
in every imaginable form Of indulgence
still knows no bounds.-New York
Tribune.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
EPlCUREAN CHINAMEN.
Their Tables Have the Best the Ameri-
can Markets Afford.

The food bought by the Chinese liv-
ing in America is often quite as ex-
pensive as that of the whites. Instead
of living almost altogether on rice and
chop suey as is the general impress
sion. Cinnamon. being quite as fond of
meat as Americans. buy pork. beef.
and chickens. Chop suey is made to
sell to curious white persons who visit
Chinatown. In the vicinity of every
large city where there is any consd-
cradle Chinese colony, there are truck
gardens devoted to raising vegetables
exclusively for Cinnamon from seed
brought from their native land. These
vegetables are unknown to Americans.
But the Chinese also consume large
quantities of the finer kinds of Ameri-
can vegetables
The Chinaman has Il sweet tooth.
also; and in the best Chinese restaur-
ants in San Francisco. New York, Chi
cago. and other large cities, the best of
wines are served to Chinese as we'll as
American customers. together with the
finest and most expensive foods. In
the average Chinese restaurant in
those cities good board can be had by
the Chinese for from SO to $40 a
month, and these restaurants are large
ly patron Zed. AS rule. the China
men are compelled to lodge in mean
quarters but in New York and San
Francisco there are number of we'll
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

der and the fingers kept quite straight.
Even a slight curvature gives sufficient
power to break much stronger thing
than match; but we place great faith
in the wooden splinter to resist all eff
forts if the conditions be properly OBJ
served.
Paper is tougher substance than
would be inferred from the ease with
which a sheet can be torn. But roll
sheet of note paper into IL cylinder and
exert your whole strength to pull it to
pieces. Here the chances are very much
against you.
Another edifying experiment. is as fol
lows: Two persons face each other.
The one places his fists on top of one
another and strives to keep them there
while the other (by preference a LADY,
strikes them sharply with her fore.
fingers. taking care that each finger is
applied to the corresponding fist of her
opponent. The fists fly apart as If by
magic. because the muscles cannot act
In two ways at once, and while exert
ing pressure upward and downward are
at the mercy of a smart lateral blow.
unless-and a man can safely risk the
strain-the lower thumb be secretly in
serted into the upper hand and held
there firmly
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

inside, and hits us slnartly in the face
with Il violence in proportion to the
lung power expended.
Those who are fond of posing their
friends with similar simple problems
may be able to turn to account the col
lection here made and show that our
capacities are in many unsupported lit
tie ways more limited than we imagine.
Many men pride themselves on their
muscular strength. Let a lady place
the tips of her forefngers together.
keeping Der elbows on level with her
shoulders. and challenge any gentle
man in the room to separate them by
fair pull. Unless she be unusually
weak, or he be very strong, he will
probably fail: and his discontinue
may be fifty followed up by the invita-
ton to move her hand from her head
or her middle finger from the tip of
her nose.
The Hercules who can toy with
heavy weights should be asked to
break with his middle finger a stout
wooden match placed across the roots
Of the first and third finger nails The
arm must be held level from the Shout
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

appointed homes occupied by the fami-
lies of well-to-do Chinese merchants,
which the American seldom or never
sees. In New York there is an apart
ment-house, up-to-date in every re-
spect. occupied by Chinese families
The Chinaman sticks as closely as he
can to the traditions and customs of
his country. which are strange to the
Occidental, and. therefore, subject
for comment and often for derision.-
Forum.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

- WEN a bottle and cork a size
II - smaller than the bottles neck, to
~ blow the cork into the bottle. This
problem appears so easy that we are All
prepared to attempt the solution. But
the result is rather unexpected, for the
cork, instead of flying into the bottle.
is driven out by the compression of air
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

There are but few cows in Labra-
dor. No wonder. The natives procure
their milk for the winter and then kill
their cows. The milk is kept in bar
rels, where ii freezes and never threat
ems to solr throughout the entire sea-
son. When one wishes any milk he
has simply to go to the barrel and cut
S.li
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
JeffersOn Memorial Road.

Citizens of Albemarle County. yir.
ginia. have organized the Jefferson
Memorial Road association for the DUR
pose of building public boulevard
between Charlottesville and Monticel
10. where President jefferson lies
buried. The road will be two miles
long, and is expected to cost $40. 900
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

beis from the ends. Center a cent Oh
one end and stick three pins into the
woods so that the coin can easily fall
forwards but not slip sideways. Then.
holding the reel in the left hand, blow
into the central hole. The harder you
blow the tighter the cent sticks.-Archi-
bald Williams In the Strand Magazine
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
In Memory of DIR. johnson.

DR.. Johnson's long association with
the Strand, London. is to be commemo-
rated by placing a beautiful stained
glass window in st. Clement Danes
Chapel.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21
Hot Water from Well

Hot water, steam and volcanic stones
are being discharged from a we'll drilled
to depth of 500 feet in the Colorado
desert.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

Young man, if in doubt as to the pro-
priety Of kissing pretty girl. give her
the benefit of the doubt
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

The
in
$
of
al made
little than thoseo
The elaborate in
edge
really nothing a
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

Mind your own business-unless you
are able to employ a private secretary.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-04-21

CO HE young man stood with his
back to the fire and his hands
- Thrust into his trollSpr mock offs
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-12-03
THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

Only a short time remains before
Christmas, and the holiday a in
the stores has commenced. Show
windows are full of new and attractive
things, and the stores themselves are
packed with new stocks of holiday
goods ready for the onslaught of the
shoppers.
Many people are wise enough to do
their Christmas buying before the
crowded days of the end of the season,
thus avoiding the discomfort Of the
crowds, and also having the advantage
of full stock from which to make
their selections. The jewelers., the dry
goods men, the clothiers. the shoe
men, the grocers, furniture men, hab.
erdashers, milliners, stove men, indeed
all the merchants are showing unusu
al activity, and the streets in the shop
ping center already present a much
buster appearance than for many q
day. The ~storekeepers expect a very
busy season, and have prepared them
selves for it in generous fashion.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-12-03
DEMING.
A Few Pointers About a Good Town in
Southern New Mexico.

Keep your eye on Deming.
Deming has just been Incorporated.
Deming, the coming city of New Mex
leo.
Deming has a magnificent chool sys-
tenn.
Deming, the railroad center of New
Mexico.
Deming, the gateway to the best part of
Old Mexico.
Deming! Don't overlook it If you are
looking for a safe and paying investment.
Deming, the seat of the new county OF
Luna.
Deming is the great mining center of
the southwest.
Deming water is chemically p~ure-equal
to Polan springs.
Deming has increased so per cent in pop
ulation in four years.
Deming water and pure ozone make
strong and healthy people.
Investments in Deming lots will double
and treble in one year.
Deming has now a large ice plant and
electric light system under contract.
In Deming the demand for rental
houses is five times in excess of the sup
ply.
Deming has an abundance of water for
irrigating vineyards, orchards, or gar
dcns.
Buy lots and build in Deming. Your
rental returns will be 20 per cent on the
investment.
In Deming good safe loans can be had
at better rates than in the old established
towns.
At Deming you can buy lots at slOl
which will pay you 100 per cent in less
han twelve months.
In Deming another good hotel is needed
to accommodate the enormou increase OF
population.
Deming is a great health result-has nc
superior in climate for the cure of pull
monary troubles.
Deming will be the great smeiter center
Two large plants will be installed within
the year,
Why buy high priced lots when you car
get them in Deming cheap now, with Ger
tain advance assured?
Agricultural lands In Deming are unsur
passed for fertility, production OF frult
and vegetables Of all kinds.
Deming offers the same opportunitle
now tina the most prosperous cities IN Tn
west offered several years ago.
Deming needs one hundred new mouse
TO supply the demand, n needs thel
now. This demand continues to grow.
Deming ships over 10000 head of eatt
annually; is the center of the creates
breeding region in the southwest n ca
tlemen all know this.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-12-03
FOREIGN IMMIGRATION.

In the fiscal year ending last June,
1870, 70S aliens came to United States
ports. OF the GAS ,743 steerage passen-
gers, COS, $50 came direct to continent
al ports of the United States, $50
came to ports of the territory Of Ha-
wall, 792 to those of Porto Rico, and
20, 190 to Canadian ports. By compari'
son with corresponding figures for the
preceding year. there has been an in
crease in steerage immigration of 16O,-
1925, and in cabin immigration of 7,105,
| max ing a total increase of 167 $3.50. OF
the total of 730,79S, European countries
furnished 690,472, Asiatic countries
%, 0S2 and all other sources 1924. As
to countries of origin, the principal
sources of this large influx of aliens
were Italy. which furnished 1874, 6S3