Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
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door, Mr.. JohnSing." "Hoss-shoes Is
out of style; dat's a automobeel tire
Chicago News.
Mrs. Dugan-S Shure, It's a gra-a-te
day fer us; ME man Dinnis is wur-r-kln'
agin. Mrs. Hogan-Who Colorado
Springs Gazette.
But she got there: 80 he has at last
led her TO the altarT Il don't know
whether he led her or she pushed him."
Indianapolis Press.
II tell you what, there's a dark out
hook for that young man." "whyr
HE has a night job In a signal tower"
Chicago Times-Herald.
Zenas-The wallpaper in my room
has design with streaks OF lightning.
How do you like It? Ephralm-It looks
hke thunder.-Harvard Lampoon.
Red-letter Day: The Stranger
How long have you been civilized? The
Native-Ever since my home was burn
ed to the ground, and my wife and
children shot.-Life.
Time for Consideration: Miss Lulu
Finnlgan-I will give yez me answer In
. month, Pat. Pat-That's right me
darlint; TEX plinty av time to think IL
over. But tell me wan thing now-win
II be yes or no?-Judge.
MY son, before you study history,
you must understand the philosophy OF
It." How is that attained?' by
practice. You must learn to dlscrimi-
nate between lies of doubtful origin,
and those which everybody has agreed
to accept."-Life.
First Theatrical Manager-I thought
you were going TO put ON The Winters
Tale" and now you are billing Mid.
summer Nights Dream" Second Man
ager-Yes: didn't like the name of the
other piece. 1t sounded too much like
. frost.-Philadelphia Record.
The professors granddaughter was
looking at halftone portrait OF Prince
Albert Of Flanders and the Duchess
Marie Gabrielle of Bavaria. "Who are
these people, grandfather?" she asked.
Those are the Belgian heirs" replied
the professor.-Chicago Tribune.
A Sweeter Parting: 80 you wish to
take my daughter away from me-" re-
marked her dotlng father "Well-ah
that wasn't just exactly my thought"
stammered the nervous young sultor;
my folks could perhaps spare me with
fewer pangs."-Philadelphia Record.
House-owner-You didn't pay the
rent last month. Tenant-No? Well,
l suppose you'll hold me to your agree
ment Owner-Agreement- agree
ment? Tenant-Why, when | rented,
you said | must pay In advance or not
at all.--Columbus Ohio State Journal.
"D'ye notice onny change since 20
was here before, sor?" asked the native
guide at the lakes OF Killarney. How
do you know | was ever here before?"
asked the American tourist. Faith,
Sor, no man ever comes here thot hasn't
been here before. e."-Phlladelphia Rec
ard.
Teacher-Jimmy, lf you found eigh-
teen pennies and another boy should
take two-thirds OF them away, what
would each Of you have? Jimmy-Td
have six pennies an he'd have good
thumpin' less he handed back the rest
Of 'em mighty quick.-Glasgow Even.
ing News.
A Literary Career: Friend-"What In
-FOUR son doing now" Lady-"He's
writing for the papers" Frlend-"Oh.
he Is doing literary work, Is hep Lady
II suppose so; he solicits subscribers,
and when they pay him the money he
writes for the papers they want
Detroit Free Press.
He Knew: Sabbath School Teacher
striving to lnculcate love of TRUTH
Now. Willy, suppose you were to
promise your mother that you would
come right straight home from Sunday
school, and then did not do so, what
would you be doingT Willy Waters
Coin a-swimmln', ma'am."-Puck.
We'll" exclaimed the persistent poet,
upon opening his mail, IL call that en-
,ouraging." Have they accepted
something's" asked his wife. mo; but
instead of the printed rejection slip,
the editor returns my quatraln with a
criticism In his own hand" What
does he sayT "He says: Herewith
we return your quatrain; II is too
long "-Ex.
A short time ago, at a school In the
North Of England, during a lesson on
the animal kingdom, the teacher put the
following question: Can any boy
name me an animal Of the order eden
tata; that is, toothless anlmalT A
boy, whose face beamed with pleasure
at the prospect of good mark, replied:
II can" well. what Is the animal?"
"My grandmother" replied the boy, In
great glee.-Ex.
Mr.. G. Ormandizer (struggling to
carve the first turkey his wife has ever
eooked)-"Say, Mary, the bones In this
bird are thicker than a shad's-just
hear the knife grit" Mrs. G. Orman-
dizer almost crying with anxiety
you must be against the shells, John"
Mr.. G. Ormandizer-"Shells?" Mrs. G.
Ormandizer-"Yes, John; don't you re-
member that you asked me to stuff the
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