Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-01-30

IGHT in the Heart OF the
- whooping Metropolis there liv-
ed a Proud Man. He was too
good for the ratty old United
States and the only reason he Stuck
was that he needed some more OF the
Rhino-Dino-say another Million. he
lived in a large stone Mausoleum. Peo-
pie tiptoed and talked in Whispers as
they passed through the cold Shadow
OF his stately Shack. When he came
down the front Steps TO get into his
5000 Bubble, which had the original
man-killing Chauffeur from France
manipulating the Juice. then all the lit
tie Birds would fall out of the Trees
and the Children would begin to climb
Fences.
BY years of Practice this naughty
Haymaker OF the Financial World had
learned to look at the Middle Glasses
and not see them at all. He had a
CLASSY Welsbach that burned into the
very Soul of a Social Aspirant. He
reserved his Conversation for the few
choice Spirits of Parvenue avenue
whose names appear in Small Caps
every time Mr.. Vogner comes to Town.
When approached by one who never
had broken into the Dun and Brad
Street Sci nG aAA
ture with the Right and murmured:
''Twenty-three." which In vulgar Par
lance means "Dig!'
This very exclusive Monarch Of the
Mighty Mazuma had a Private Office,
20 enter which the Caller had to pass
through four Ante-Rooms and tell the
story OF his Life to a couple of ST.
Vitus Secretaries. A protective Ar
rangement OF this Character saved the
Main Squeeze from many Annoyances,
as the Poor who came to Touch him
usually Starved to Death while walt
ing to get in.
Those patient Individuals who took
q Day of and persevered until at last
they stood in the awful Presence OF
His Nobs were permitted to kneel on
a Smyrna Rug and state their Bust
ness as briefly as possible. after which
they were given a cold Douche and
Funny Fall through the Trap Door.
This plutocratic Potentate belonged
to a Club where no one dared to speak
for fear of arousing a Charter Mem
Der from his Daily Nap. He went to
Dinner Parties at which they put Ice
into the Claret in order to keep II at
the Temperature OF the Room. The
Church in which he was a Stakeholder
was a Dazmaraz. They had a full
chorus ana Ballet anu AhbAOhuNNA
Moving Pictures during the Offertory.
The ParsOn was so Bostonian or some
thing that no one could tell whether
he was Preaching or trying to sing
Ballad. He was very we'll liked. for he
depicted Paradise as being paved with
4 per cent Bonds. The Dove of Right
eousness was a close Third with the
Terrapin and Canvas-Back Duck.
II will be gathered from the Forego-
ing that Mr.. Rocks had every Induce
ment 70 be a Happy Man. But he was
not Quite the Reverse English. He
had a Secret that was gnawing large
irregular Holes in his Department of
the Interior.
When any one began to talk about
Family Histories he changed the Sub
ject.
AS a matter Of cold. icy Truth. this
Blue-Fish Aristocrat had spent his
Bovhood in the Corned-Beef and Cab
bage Belt, up where the Baled Hay
comes from. lie had never seen an
Individual Butter Dish until he was
past le. When n Child he had picked
Potato Bugs. brought in the Kindling
and turned the wringer for his Moth
er. His Crest should have been Fam
fly Cow rampant on a Patch Of Tur-
nips.
II IS little Wonder that The Poor
Man shuddered to think that his Youth
had been tainted by an Association
with his Parents. He was afraid some
one would find II out.
He never asked Time TO turn back
ward in his Flight and make him
Boy again. He was dead willing TO
Forget But, he could not Blue Pen
ell the Pages Of Memory. Such is the
Irony OF Fate. He who absolutely
fails to recall the Last Name Of the
Lady he met at Saratoga in the Sum-
mer can remember all the Obscure Ac-
quaintances who knew him thirty
years before. when he drove a Delivery
Wagon. And he is always expecting
something with Whiskers to rise up out
Of the balmy Past and call him by his
old Nickname.
When the austere Magnate was a
Boy in a dizzy little County Seat, he
had a playmate whose name was Alon-
20. for Alonzo was a Superior Being
who could lick any Of the Kids and
could swim Dog-Fashion and carried
a Barlow Knife. Alonzo was a kind Of