Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-08-26

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Knlcker--"were there any suspicious
characters aboutg" Bocker-"only two
policemen"
AS yhey reckon time: How long has
she been on the stage?" only about
three diyorees."--Chicsgo Record-Her-
aid
Some one has named a cigar after
Mary MacLane. 1t emits blue fans
and sulphurous smoke.-st Paul
Globe.
Nathan Hale Is reported to have said:
81 am sorry that l am not cat so
could give nine lives TO my country
Harvard Lampoon.
'NoodeIles never disagrees with any.
body" yes; that's what makes It 50
disagreeable to have him around."-
indianapolis News.
Father-"WeIl my son. what did you
learn at school to-day?" Little Proc
tor-'Not 10 sass Tommy McNutt"-
Chicago Daily News.
Bragge-"I was knocked senseless by
cricket-ball two years ago." The boy
in the corner-"when does yer expeck
ter get over itT.-Tit-Blts.
Truths echo: "Good men, you know.
are scarce" Eyes. know. and even
bad men have to make themselves so
at times. Boston Courier
The optimist: Grandpa Welt Hor-
ace, we haven't caught any fey: it's
hard lines" Horace-"But we had good
luck digging worms. Chicago News.
Nell-"Did Miss Bllyums
act as If 1t was d severe blow when she
didn't get the prince?" Believes,
she took the count PHILADELPHIA
Record.
Sunday-school teacher-"And so Lots
wife was turned to salt Can any one
tell whyT" Wicked Willy from the
rear)--"She was too fresh. Harvard
Lampoon.
Hardhead-"well. every man has
right to his opinion" Pepprey
but the trouble is he can't be made to
realize that there may be a wrong to
it. philadelphia Press.
That author keeps his Identity close
ly concealed" "Yes." answered Miss
Cayenne; until l read his books
thought it was due to modesty." Isn't
it?" "No. Discretion. Washington
| Star.
Far from It: Girl with the Gibson
girl peck-"Fan Billlwink has begun to
show her age, hasn't she? Girl with
the Julia Marlowe dimPle-"I should
say not. She's Begun to try to hide 1t"
Chicago Tribune.
1t was her first ride in an automobile
and she was deeply interested in the
horn that was used to notify people to
clear the way. Papa" she said.
"WelG" he returned. "Make ii snore
some more."-Chicago Post.
Haven't you read that lovely new
novel?' asked the first summer girl.
NO" replied the other, 1.-THE only edi.
tion Of it I've seen has horrld yellow
| cover that doesn't accord with any of
my gowns. y Philadelphia Press.
sociable: "WelI, we'll" remofked
Farmer Korntop at the Zoo. ''thls here
lion pears to be real good-natured."
7 "Mebbe," suggested his good wife, Its
one o them social lions ye read about
in the papers. Philadelphia Press.
This is a remarkable climate" said
the tourist. 1T is" answered the old
settler. Ever since l have been here
/ have wondered how a climate could
change sc many times day and every
time for the worse. "-Washington Star
upgardson-"I hear there is some
| complaint that the continual dampness
is rendering many pianos useless"
Atom.-'I have hesri of its running
great many pianos. but haven't heard
any complain about it"-Chicago TriL-
une.
The OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES children,
why do we love to 80 to the beautiful
parksG What do We find there that Is
always fresher and purer than It is In
the city," Truthful Tommy with
cheerful ptness)-"Pop-corn. sIrw
lex.
Eyes, count, In all the park there Is
no place | like so well as under this
old, old tree" (Sighlng sentimentally)
There are tender associations. you
see.9 "Aha. comprehend, man. selle.
You have yourself planted the tree!"-
Punch.
81 can't imagine anything more uns
satisfactory than meal at our board.
ing house." said the chronic kicker.
MOP" replied the impressonable young
man. evidently you never got kiss
from your best girl over the telephone"
Philadelphia Press.
How does It come you resigned your
posltion as office boyi" inquired the
gentleman Of little Jimmie; didn't you
like your employer Yes" replied
Jimmie. Il like him well enuf, but l
didn't like tn brand Nv seegars hs
smokes. Ohio State Journal.
Baker-"Dlda't see you IN your auto
i-ioble yesterday" Butler-"That was
because l was under II, probably.
That's where ! spent the greater part
Of the day, fixing things that bad got out
Of kIlter. | don't know as shall get
much riding tn my machine; but shall
learn powerful lot about machinery"
Boston Transcript.
Remarkable item: Got a big story
today" said the marine reporter.
what Is It? Wreck asked the city
editor. "No. The brig Albatross came
into port from the South Atlantic, and
she's the first one to come in in month
that doesn't report having had her
deck covered with volcanic ashes while
five hundred miles from Martinique. -
Baltimore American.
--a@--As-az-s --.-a--i-aa-se q.
Worry Causes Dyspepsia.