Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-03-15
The Father as a Chum.

The Father as Chum.
The reason why many a father loses
HIS boy is because he has never found
him. Nothing can find boy but love
A good example Of itself never found
boy, nor has paternal authority ever
subdued a boisterOus nature. The
father VINO said, Il will conquer that
boy whatever it costs me-" never failed
All good things are expensive. Sympa-
thv mas it's costs before it has it's worth
4 father always pays a large price in
the coin of sacrificial and sympathetic
love who secures a clear and unclOuded
title to the confidence and intimacy of
his son.
The overwOrking of negotiations de-
stroys the choice friendship between
many a father and his boy. The boy
cannot live on it: to use his own phrase
he cant stand it, Don't" Il for
bid you" II am surprised at you,"
"Such conduct will ruin you" You
| must never forget that you are great
expense to me for support, clothing and
education" You must not spend 50
much money''-how familiar this cate
CORY is to many q boy who has good
HcIiC oot WIN, " tlIC pa SdI PiiSS,
does not like to stay there. Is it said
that such remarks are the proof of in
terest in the boy; the answer is, the in
terest is cheap. Suppose father let's
love have it's way. He tells his boy
that he considers himself nightly
blessed in having such boy to support,
clOthe and educate; he declares his de-
light at seeing this and that sign of
manliness, and gives a cordial permis-
sion to spend modest sum of money.
How long will it be before the bound
ing nature of the boy will recognize the
appreciative spirit of the father and
will begin to respond to it? The basis
of real friendship is thus securely laid.
the growth of which is the increasing
satisfaction of both.
Any father who is forever locking
horns with is son will find that appre-
citation will speedily end a strife which
disparagement both stimulates and en-
bitters: for appreciation is love eXpend-
ing itself, and love never faileth
boy Graves appreciation from his father,
and 1t is through this appreciative spirit
that father gets his great chances.
Love is not blind; it can see faults. 1t
is not weak: it can command respect.
1t does not lack authority; it can COM
pei obedience. Love declares itself,
ard as it is welcomed finds it's opportu-
nifty.
Certainly it is necessary to "reprove,
| rehuke. exhOrt, with all long-suffering
| and teaching" a boy, but when this is
the corollary of proposition of appre-
citation it takes hold and grips, for what
n 6nx ty,,l lxyI, -
prizes he strives to be worthy of.
A father should occasionally make his
boy his guest ard, with scrupulous re-
gard, honor him as such. He should
Introduce him to his friends, being care
ful to meet every requirement of cour-
tesy, take him to dinner, permitting
him to wise the bill of fare; enjoy a
ride, with his own son for whip; in
duige days fishing, being sure not to
scrimp the boys share of the live bait
and particular not to jump his claim to
an equal portion of the best the lunch
box affords. 1t is poor time for self
seeking or for petty economy when his
boy Is mis- guest. IT is the fathers great
opportunity, when in generous fashion
ne is entertaining his son, to enlist his
sympathies and sacrifices in doing for
others. since lessons of charity are best
taught in presence of a generous heart
To take boy out into life, introduc-
ing MIN to its nobility. opportunity,
sacrifice. disclosing to him your most at
tractive ideals, and shaping his aspira-
tions. opening his eyes, Harvesting his
will and mellowing his heart, keeping
him clean, wholesome, sane. untainted
with the twentieth century scurvy of
pessimism-this surely is a mighty
privilege and radiant opportunity
For the sake of it one may well give his
best. and confess himself a sinner be-
fore God if he permits the crowding
cares cf life to seduce him to Offering
his second best. 1t is great sin to be
poor father. But earth has no nobler
Joy than that which comes when
fathers heart casts anchor in the soul
of his boy.-Nehemiah Boynton, in The
Congregationalist.