davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
No Cause for Alarm.

Chicago News: An excited man rus. !,
up to Cincinnati policeman one .
last week and exclaimed:
Officer, please come quick and assist
me; my wife has fallen into the river"
well, don't get excited replied the pc
liceman. calmly. She'll only get her
clothes little muddy; it's impossible for
any one to sink in the Ohio river.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
How to DISCOURAGE Ire atina.

New York Weekly: Guyboy-Have a
drink with me?
liardhead- Certainly. Here's to you
Gayboy- Ali That's good.
Observation-Disclosures Order another
round If you like | belong to the Anti
Treating league, and have promised not
to treat. but there is nothing in the rules
about accepting treats. Order right along,
old boy You pay. and IN drink
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
a Erienel,s Aduice

New York Weekly; Jack--I have a
chance to marry poor girl whom L love
or rich woman whom l do not love
Which would you advise?
George-Love is the salt of life, my
friend. Without 1t all else is naught. Love
pure love, makes poverty. wealth, pain q
JOY, earth a heaven.
Jack-l1nough. will marry the poor
girl whom / love.
George-Bravely spoken! BY the way.
would you-er-mlnd introducing me to
the rich woman whom you do not love?
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Start S+or;es

got chat he was there. AS dessert was
being served, however, the host told =
story When he had finished and the
laughing had ceased, the little son ex-
claimed, delightedy, Now, papa, tell the
other one.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Cause for Sorrow

Cleveland Leader: Blacls-Why do you
look so downcast?
Whitc-I gave my wife $50 bill, be-
cause j thought she would like to buy
me a Christmas present. She took the
money, and now She Is showing he1
friends a nice New Years bonnet.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
An Old Story.

Puck: Hiram-It tells here In this
paper about German doctor who has
discovered a sure cure for consump-
ton.
Silas--It does beat all how slow them
foreigners are. don't 1T? Why, they've
been se!lin sure cures for consumption
down to the village drug store for the
last twenty years
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Poor Memory.

Philadelphia Press: Towne-Rather alb
sent-minded. isn't he?
MISUNDERSTANDING 10. Why, the other
night when he got home he knew there
was something he wanted to do, but he
couldn't remember what 1T was until he
had sat up over an hour trying to think.
Towne--And did he finally remember it ?
Browne Yes. he & scovcred that he
wanted to 30 TO bed early.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Fifty Dollars to Sit Down.

Carmel, Ind, Dec. 15.-Mr. Joseph l.
Duffey relates an experience that has
aroused considerable interest In this
locality. 1t Is best given in his own
words:
when was working In the fields, y
says Mr.. Duffey, 81 would be ready to
quit, but could not get to the house
l was SO weak. 1t was worth fifty
dollars to get to sit down.
81 had no strength and a person
without strength is not much use.
But bless the Lord | took four boxes
of Dodd's Kidney Pills and they gave
me health, strength and appetite.
II might say am cured, but will
keep on taking Dodd's Kidney pills.
Yes, I'll get them If it takes the last
thing on the farm"
Dodd's Kidney Pills have effected
quite number of other cures here and
IT seems safe to say they are an effec-
tive and permanent cure for all dis
eases arising from the Kidney
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Merely That.

Philadelphia Press: There was time, .
she complained, when you thought moth
ing was good enough for ~
$50 it was" replied the brute, "and /
should have made 1t a point to see that
YOU always got it,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
THE SONGS OF ARMIES.
How "a Hot Time' Found Its Way Into
the British Camps in Africa.

SNO 6IISiSIl SdtI1pS III ATEICds
New York World: Probably the only
made war song in two continents for
the armies of two nations is "a Hot
Time in the Old Town Tonight"
Notwithstanding the silly, meaning
less words, except for the line that
makes the title, it is truly a martial
melody. 1t has swing and go in it that
provoke enthusiasm and cheerfulness.
It Is march, as all good campaign
songs are likely to be, and mighty
good one. 1t has the same qualities
that made Tramp, Tramp, the Boys
Are Marching" and Marching Through
Georgia" the popular songs of the fed
eral troops during the civil war, and a
certain liveliness and sprightliness that
they do not possess.
1t will be remembered that "a Hot
Time" was the favorite song of the
American soldiers in the Spanish war
and that they sung it so often that the
Spaniards thought 1t the national air
NO other song approached 1t in popu-
larity, THE Banks of the Wabash be-
ing poor second.
While the adoption OF a ragtime mel
ody as a martial song provoked won
dering comment those who think about
those things were not greatly surprised
But the fact that "a Hot Time" fairly
took the British troops in South Africa
by storm Is far more remarkably BILE. 1t was
far and away the most popular song OF
the South African campaign, and the
Tommy Atkinses sang 1t as often and
with as much enthusiasm as did Uncle
Sans soldiers in Cuba and the Philip
pines. Every military band in the ser
vice played 1T, and every regiment had
at least one verse of its own. There
was one chorus, however, that was
sung almost universally, and lit ran.
One, two, three, the relief of Kimberly.
-Four, five six. the relief of Ladystnith'
Seven. eight nine. we got there just III
time
There's a hot time in the Transvaal to-
Il will be seen that the words follow
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Circumstances Alter Gases, Etc

New York sun: Old Lady, whom the
Rev. DR.. Dryleigl has helped up the
church steps Can you tell me Who
is TO preach today?
DIR. Dryleigh, madam
Old Lady-Please help me down
stairs again,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
lnherited Mi.trn.4

indianapolis Journal Bessie, have you
written your letter to Santa CLAUSE"
Eyes, ma but don't you go an give it
to pa to mil"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18

Many OF us might he happy if we did
not suffer from disorders of the liver.
Then we ought to use DIR. August koe-
ng's Hamburg Drops. which cure the
disorders and bring the whole system to
q healthy condition.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18

Punch: Hostess-Please don't leave
off, Miss Jessop. Miss but shan't
bore you? 1t is possible to have too
much of a good thing, you know.
Hostess-Yes; but that doesn't apply
to your playing!
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
AA a "a a. - AA AAA ga
] A Re surl'ected
J Christmas.
By EIvira Floyd Froemeke,
wvwww yw W Wv

On one of those misty, gray evenings
so common to December, certain
street corner was suddenly enlivened
by gay whistle, a boy, q bundle of
hand-bills and bucket OF paste. With
the cold gaze OF the electric eye upon
him, the boy plasterel a bill upon the
tall wooden pole, and then stepped back
to gaze adMlringly on his work. and to
give an extra dab or two at the lose
edges which thereupon chung to their
support in approved artistic style.
Three women We're approaching from
different directions, and, thinking to do
4 good stroke of business for him em-
nloyer by attracting attention TO his
advertisement, he wllistled very sharp
iv and quite off the key, as he slowly
picked UP his pail to leave.
One old lady stopped and exclaimed,
inlpatiently:
"lf you must whistle, why don't you
whistle a tune?''
The boy only laughed good-natured
~, and took himself off In haste. but
the two women approached utterins
little expressions of surprise and pleas
ure; for they were old friends, and at
the very moment of meeting each had
been thinking over bygone days, when
their lives We're closely interviewer.
Well here we are" gayly exclaimed
llstella: three graces in ungrace-
full attire, Did YOU ever hear such a
fearful whistle as that bay hod? First
he took me off my feet and then /
frightened him into finding his. Do see
him run, she added. as the youth dis
appeared round a corner.
Are you going home?" she inquired.
They simply answered: yes" and all
turned to read the poster that had
seemed to draw them together:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
Before Christmas.

Chicago Record Herald: Say. ma"
What, Ifreddy?"
"if / wuz as good as this all TIL time
I'd git sick am die, wouldn't l?'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18
The Worm Turned.

Judge: Mrs. Cobwigger-While it's
true that women wear mems neckties,
you surely couldn't expect me to APP
pear In public in such monstrosity as
this. Where in the world did you ever
get such tie?
Cobwigger-My dear. that's the one
you bought for me last Christmas.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18

Unti1 recently medica, missionaries
were the only doctors IL, Madagascar.
The capital now has school of medi-
cine and hospital.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18

Mrs. Austn's Cereals have the largest sale
Of any similar goods. Try them and yor
will understand why.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-18

The Bank Of France can compel its
customers to receive one-f,fth OF money
drawn In gold,
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
AROUND THE HOUSE.

IF marks aud stains are on papered
walls, try French chalk on piece of
dry bread gently rubbed in.
TO keep hardwood floors smooth and
clean rub them with waste apd warm
paraffin oil and polish with dry waste.
Muslin curtains may be rendered less
inf1ammable by rinsiag them in alum
water-two ounces of alum to one gal
lon of water.
To clean mirrors dip cloth in methy-
lated spirits and rub on the mirror.
Allow it to dry OH before polishing with
a soft duster.
Galvanized iron pals for drinking
water should not be used. The zlne
coating is rapidly acted upon bJ tbs
water, forming a poisonous oxide of
zinc
Make splendid furniture polish Ivy
taking wtneglassful of olive oil, one
Of vinegar and two tablespoonfuls Of
alcohol; apply with soft cloth and
nnlish with flannel
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
He GOT THE GOODS.
A Business Deal Between Potter
Palmer and A. IT. Stewart.

n Business Dea1 BetWeeM EOEGSE
Palmer and A. IT. Stewart.
Eat the time Of the civil war;" said
an old merchant, Potter Palmer was
in the dry goods business in Chicago,
and Levi z. Letter and Marshall Field
were working for him. Palmer wasn't
| so we'll known, but he had a good rep.
utation in the trade, and he didn't have
to introduce himself when he called on
/ old A. T. Stewart to buy some goods.
After some dickering they agreed upon
the price, and Palmer calmly said that
he would take about 100000 worth.
1t was little larger bill than Stewart
exactly cared to sell young Palmer on
credit, but he concluded to make the
deal and told him to come in the next
morning and arrange some final de-
tails. That night some big war news
| came, and it didn't require any decla-
ration by the government to inform ev-
cry dry goods man in the country that
the price Of goods would take a big
squirt up. Stewart recognized it as soon
as he had the news, and he immediate.
ly thought of Palmer. He also thought
of the big bill of goods Palmer had
bought Of him. 1t didn't particularly
tickle Stewart, that thought didn't.
Buk it required only a few scratches
| Of his red head to fix things to his sat
isfaction. He would simply tell Pal
mer that he was sorry, but that he
didn't feel that he could sell such
big bill Oh credit, and as he knew that
! Palmer couldn't raise the cash imme-
diately, why, that would end it, and
the sale would be off. Well, young
Palmer called early, and Stewart
greeted him in his very abruptest man
ner, telling him how sorry he was, etc,
but really he didn't think it wise busi-
ness to extend credit for such an
amount
"'Just how much does the bill come
tor said young Palmer, seemingly sor
rowful-like.
"'Just $11O,OOO,' Stewart replied, and
then he straightway gulped for breath
| as young Palmer drew an immense
/ pocketbook from his inside vest pocket
and, opening it, counted out 10 thou
sand dollar bills and, laying them quiet
| " on Stewards desk, said: If you will
kindly count them and give me re-
ceipt, I'll be obliged, as must take the
next train home. Ship the goods soon
as you can, and when you're out our
way drop in. Always glad to see oul
friends New York Times.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
The Arabs OF Syria.

Among the Arabs OF Syria 8 man
changes his name after the birth OF
his eldest sou assuming the name
which has been bestowed upon the
heir, with the prefix Abu, meaning
father of" Thus, if the son is called
Fudle Allah, Gods Bounty" the ia
ther will be henceforth known as Abu
Fudle Allah. Father of Gods Bounty"
In like manner the mother would be-
come known as Elm Fudle Allah, moth
er Of Gods Bounty" This custom is
not merely one of common speech, but
extends to all occasions and even to
legal documents. Still more strangely,
even when man though married has
no son the courtesy OF oriental soci-
ETY. demands that he should be ad-
dressed as Abu Salim or Abu Nah
moud, after an imaginary son whom
politeness confers upon him.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

Rats and Mice and Large Animals.
How many people are there who
know that elephants, rhinoceroses and
other large thick skinned animals have
formidable enemies in rats and micef
These small, rascally rodents have
found that the feet of the elephant are
excellent eating and have no hesitation
in gnawing at them when the animal
lies down, when, owing to its confined
condition, it is not very we'll able to
defend itself against it's puny enemies.
To protect these vast creatures it Is
found necessary in most menageries to
keep terriers about the cages. These
little fellows very soon dispose Of tbs
pachyderms tiny adversaries. 1t was
recently discovered in a well known
menagerie that the mice and rats had
been very busy with the hide OF rht
noceros. A Scotch terrier, Fanny, was
put into the cage of the huge beast, and
IN tie first night she had killed no few
er than twenty rats. In few
days there were no rats left to nibble
the hide OF the poor rhtnoceros.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
Necklace OF Ants.

A necklace made Of black ants is an
article of adornment of New Guinea.
The Anglican mission there gives par
ticulars Of one which measured over
eleven feet long and was composed Of
as many as 1900 bodies Of ants Three
little pieces of shell and a dozen Eng
lish beads were incorporated into it.,
and there was a native string holding
it together. yet its weight only reached
drams 2 scruples 13 grains. These
large black ants make big nests in the
native gardens, and the native women
and girls catch them, pull off their
heads, bite off and swallow the other
end and thread the thorax.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
BEWARE OF THE KNIFE.

No profession has advanced more
rapidly than surgery, but in cases Of
piles it is seldom needed. DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve cures quickly Un-
equalled for cuts, burns, bruises.
wounds, skin diseases. II was SO
troubled with bleeding piles that I lost
much blood and strength" says ]. c.
Phillips. Paris, Illinois. "DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve cured me-" Bells
pharmacy.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

"DEAR MEs awful state for nearly three
with complication of female troubles which three physicians
called by different but the pains all the dreaded
the times monthly periods for couple bed
a agony finally made uD NV mind that the GOOD doctors were
gessg and hearing from different friends such good reports
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound tried that bless the
day did for the dawng of life for used five
bottles before cured but when they taken we'll
man once more Your Compound certainly wonderful Several OF
friends have used nothing but the best do hear
fromits Yours MBEIE MoNTE 222 31st St. Chicago Ill.,
IL Lydia E. Pnkhams Vegetable Compound will Miss
LaNIonte-why you? until you it.
ILL., and really to get WELL its at
something
of his which better for that absurd Ask hin
duce the evidence do.
troubled with painful irregular back
ache bloating
Indigestion prostration blues should immediate
action
and strength taking Lydia E. Pnkham Vegetable Compound
Mrs Pnkha
living
ills She
who will simply he
D. Lynn,$
mm
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

county court house, in the city of Tue
son, in said Pima county, has been
duly appointed by the said court for
the settlement of said account, at
which time and place any person in
terested in said estate may appear and
file exceptions in writing to the said
account. and contest the same.
S. W. PURCELL Ex-Ofhcio Clerk.
Dated Septemer 8, 1902. 800
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
ORDINANCE 16O-AMENDING OR
DTNANCE 106.

Be it ordained by the Mayor and
Common Council Of the City of Tue
son, as follows:
That article / of section of Ordi-
mace No. 106 of the City of Tucson, en-
titled can Ordinance Granting to the
Tucson Street Railway. Its Successors
and Assigns, the Right to Build, Main
tain and Operate Street Railways In
Certain Streets in the City of Tucson -
passed and adopted October 9Th, 1897,
be and the same is hereby amended to
read as follows.
Article 1.-Commencing at the inter-
section of Pennington street and Stone
avenue: thence southerly along Stone
avenue to Congress street; thence east
along Congress street to Fifth avenue;
thence north along Fifth avenue to
Toole avenue; thence northwesterly
along Toole avenue to Pennington
street.
Article / of section 6 Of said Ordi-
nance No. 106, and all other laws and
ordinances in conflict with this ordi-
nance are hereby repealed.
This ordnance shall take effect and
be in force from and after it's passage,
approval and publication according to
law.
Passed and adopted by the Mayor
and Common Council of the City Of
Tucson, Arizona, this I'd day Of Septem-
Der, a.. d. 1902.
Attest: N e. HAWKE,
Recorder and ex-off1cio City Clerk.
Approved September 8, 1902.
G. F. SCHUMACHER, Mayor.
(Seal) First pub. Sept. 6.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
STOCK REDUCTION SALE.

Owing to the preparations we ara
making to move to our Congress street
location, we will sell all harness, sad
dies, buggies and wagons at greatly
reduced prices until September 1.
r, ]. VILLAESCUSA.
10 s. Meyer Street.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
NOTICE.

The firm of Reilly & Hennessy has
this day been dissolved by mutual con-
sent. All debts due or to become due
to Reilly C Hennessy are payable to
John I. Reilly, and the said John I.
Reilly assumes all Indebtedness against
the firm. JOHN [. REILLY.
ROBT. HENNESSY.
Sept. S, 1902. 6-1S
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

Notice is herey given that Alonzo
Bailey, one of the administrators of
the estate of John Kennedy, deceased,
has rendered and presented for settle
ment and filed in said court his annual
account of his administration of said
estate, and that Monday, the 22d day
of September, 1902, at 10 o'clock a. M,
at the court room OF said court, at the
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
A SAD DISAPPOINTMENT

Ineffective liver medicine Is dis
appointment. DeWitt's Little Early
Risers never disappoint. They cleanse
the system of all poisons and putrid
matter so gently that one enjoys the
pleasant effects. They are tonic TO
the liver. Bells pharmacy.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

In the Matter of the Estate of John
Kennedy, Deceased-Notice of Set
tlement of Annual Account Of Alon-
20 Bailey.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

Impossible to foresee an accident.
Not impossible to be prepared for it.
Dr. Thomas Eclectric Oil. Monarch
over pain.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
THREE CHICAGO DOCTORS
Failed to Do for Miss Mabelle T.. La
Monte What Was Accomplished
by Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
She Has Written Faithful Account Of Her Case to
Convince Other Suffering Women.

beautiful publish article
only object in view that great and that help
E. Vegetable Conn
pound will positively their health and relieve their suffering
az he
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

Territory of Arizona,)
County of Pima, )ss.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

IN THE PROBATE COURT, COUNTY
OF PIMA, TERRITORY OF ARI-
IONA.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17
PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY

PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY
ARCHITECT
frost De RUST
Architects
once, No. 46 E. Congress St., up stairs, Tucson,
SURVEYORS
JOHN ER.
United States Deputy Mineral, Surveyor.
Southwest Corner Third Street and Sixth Ave.
Phone l940.
ATTORNEYS
W. j. KIRKPATRICK
Attorney y-at-LaW
No. 148 West Pennington ST., Tucson. Arizona.
XN. j. OSBORN
attorney Notary Public and 6onysuanoer
aall of Pioneer Historical Society, 200 W, Con-
gress Street, Tucson. Arizona
DENTISTS
EDWARD RI. STILES,
Dentist
Hours-8 to 10 a. m. and from to 5 p. m.
Rooms l and Century Block.
DR.. VIM. 6. LOPPBNTh6Ik
Dentist
consultation hours, to Ii a. m. and to p. m.
"a Stone Avenue, Tucson, Arizona.
r. z. oDERMATT
Dentist
Established in 1882. Rooms 7 and s, A. O. o..
w. Building. Office hours to II a. m, to 5
.. m. East Congress St., Tucson, Arizona.
DIR. e. RUBENSs
Dentist.
Is West Pennington Street. Hours-8 to II a.
m. to p. m.
OPTICIANS
DIR. Fl. q. SCHELL
optician
Rooms and Century Block.
will return about October 18th,
PHYSICIANS
EDMUND F. BURTON, M. D.
LATELY SURGEON COOK COUNTY
ETfnan
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

4 the fLynn,$5N
E.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-09-17

over pain.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1902-01-11
Una 0CurrenCia
entire beers e i1gleSeS

Un CORE spoussl ingles en- el
Transvaal cuenta una A=e d ia ca
ric S y.
Ul5imamentet en- los montes Ma
gales, en- los alrededores ce Pse5o'
ria, una patrulla de ciclistas militia
res ingleses atraves sba un vale caan
do Sc oy6 u tiro y simultaneaments
spareciaron beers por todas partf s
Hands mp Qevaota1 las maDt 81
grit6 ura voz No habfa que per s*r
On resisbir. Lss manos abandonAroD
Ii s guidones = los cic1istes mill. ares
se rindieron.
Muy alegres los boers, SO apro.
ximan, examinan las maquinas Sc
montan en- elias para ensaysr. Pc.
ro- pase alcs o 1seios de los iBgle,
ses. las caidas Sc III edfAn.
Los beers, h1mb .es da edad ma
dura, careeian de ID eIasticidad ne.
cesaria 6 les princi pianbes. Al cabo
de m euarto de hora, las maqninas
ests bin ht chas pedazos, y los beers
despnes de guitar los ciclfstas sns
armas, los dejaron en- libe rad
II este iEnprenga Sc vende 3 =
pei de peri aicos s &C Il auintal
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1902-01-11
Una ldgrilna
de PadereWSki

Una de las excentricidades mas
en- boga en- los 3 tados Unidos, es
ell culto exsgerado 8 las celsbrida.
des de sodo g6nero.
Una sonora ade forma parte de
Ia mas elevada ierarqufa social de
Filadelfia: Aeva consigo constante'
mente IN die de cristaA,. que encie'
IRA. .algo que Ia DANA dice ser
una lsgrima del celebre pianista Pa
derewski. que hizo furor en- los Esta'
dos Unidos duraL to su Ultima expe
dici6n artfstiea,
y. La buena senora no tolera que
Sc 1e den bromss ocerca de- ID <reli
quiao. A una joven amiga suya que
Sc permiti6 soltar una caFcajada
irreverente, Ia eli min6 de Ia lista d )
sus visitas.