Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-10-04
DOING QUEER THINGS
But 1t is Way Down in New
Zealand.
EVERYPODY'S POLITE
THE POSTMASTER IS ISLANDS
GENERAL UTILITY MAN.
His Manifold Duties Would Keep
Half Dozen Men
Busy.
Copy right. 1902, by Frank Stillson)

tCopyrigh 1902, by Frank stlson)
Written for The Evening Star.
New Zealand can boast of other things as
interesting and ema rlla BILE it's labor
laws that compel shopkeepers to close on
every legal holiday and either Wednesday
or Saturday afternoon, and fix the lowest
wages that can be paid any one at Sl2o per
week. For example, oysters grow on trees
in New Zealand
Tree oysters thrive all along the coast,
but the biggest bed is just outside of Auck-
land. Here the coast is low and COW
cred with thousands of squat trees, which
are submerged by every tide. At these
times the oysters fastsn themselves to the
branches where they wax big and fat and
from which they are picked in proper sea-
son by the men who ply their trade when
the tide is out. The two owners OF TINS
bed are being made rich by it.
Then everybody is polite, extremely. al
most painfully polite. down New Zealand
way AlphonSe and CASTOR OF the comic
suppIement realms are real characters mere
A train steams into the commodlous depot
at Wellington. the islands capital wei
lington. please the conductor gently an
nounces to his passengers. After thanking
the conductor for getting them Safeiy 10
their destination. the travellers disembark.
This way to dinner. please the depot at
PENDANTS politely sing. The train makes
ready
hurry is the trainmen's admonition And
the conductor waits five minutes after the
gates are closed for everybody to get com
. fortably seated before whistling TO the
driver to set his engine in motion.
To Jail in Cabs.
Even law-breakers are treated with unc-
t,ous consideration. The policeman carries
neither club nor firearm with which TO hurt
any ones mental or physical being. Nhen-
ever he finds himself compelled to make an
arrest the bluecoat almost begs the pris-
oner's pardon and invariably takes him TO
tail in a cab. There is no rough handling;
even the prisoner is courteous.
rs all very strange to a Yankee who
has been brought up on stern commands OF
'.All aboard Step lively, or you IL get
left and Here, no monkey business
1.ou'ra = prisoner" as a rude hand Of the
law grabs YOU by the coat collar and un-
TREMENDOUSLY husties you to the nearest
The time lost in being ceremonous is
made up by the New Zealander by word
trimming. No one says, III make mem.
orandum of it," it's always Il II memo.
lone pound sterling is universally boiled
down u 'Guid," and even Premier Seddon
calls q shilling a bob The lower class in
England uses these terms frequently put
here the highest as we'll as the lowest scorn
ANYTHING else. This cutting of words Is
carried 10 such an extent that the stranger
really needs the service of an Interpreter
the first week or two NJ is on the island.
The Postmaster a Utility Man.
The right and only man for the Traveller
in trouble over the language or anything
else to seek out is the postmaster New
ZeaIand's postmasters come pretty near be
ing the whole thing They are registrars
OF births and deaths. They collect all
taxes. municipal and governmental. and all
customs and internal revenues. They in
sure their fclIow-citz'ns in the govern
meut's life Insurance company, and receive
their q posts in the Post Office Savings
Bank IF New Zealand. also a governm ntal
institution. This bank has 2l2.i36 deposit
ors. ard the money deposited by tGem as
gregates $%2.01O,On9 over one-fourth Of the
Islands population keeps its money in this
Institution.
monies that the NJ W Zealand postmaster IS
most fuudly regarded and most famous.
There is neither fuss nor furry in the
, ceremony that the postmaster performs;
q neither docs ii cost penny \ month be
|orehard the loVe-sick swain fills out
b declaration of int ntion i'll the presence or
a postmaster. At the expiration OF thirty
DAYS he and his blushlng bride seek out the
official and in the presence OF TWO VIII
resses sign their names in a court register
and to their own marriage certificate. And
that's all there is to II. Custom doesn
even q maud that the bride let the post
master kiss her.
.rhe postmaster who holds the record for
. u.prria 4ses Is "a maiden lady in an interior
I ton The lads and lasses of her district
: 81 have none of preachers. because tbs
! tradition that every marriage at which she
| dictates is a happy one. New Zealand
! pr masters hold their jobs plenty long
| enough for tradition and countryside saws
! a. grow up around and about them. Once
: ewZealand postmaster always a postmas-
ter. for only misconduct his part can
separate him from his hfes job.
The Station Agent as a Poultry Dresser
New Zealand's leading utility man is
easily the postmaster; his closest competi-
tor is the railroad station agent AS the
government owns the railroads. 1t demands
of it's agents that they attend to all the
wants of the people that the postmaster
can't conveniently look after Hence when
"a farmer decides to sell poultry. he carts a
few hundred squawking barnyard residents
to town and turns them over TO the station
agent. The agent kills 'em and dresses
'em. freezes 'em. packs EN- In refrigerator
cars, and sees EN- started on their way TO
Auckland. Wellington. Australia or London.
The government acts as the farmers COM
mission man, free gratis, all the way
through.
encourage the farmer. 1t will lend hin,
money at low rate Of interest. and sell
him rich land for a few paltry dollars an
acre. 1t even forbids the railroads to whis-
tie at country road crossings. SO that John
Dobbin's easy-going mare won't get fright
ened and try to run away.
A Bath That Cures Drunkards.
One of the most unique of the various
rum and hospital at Rotorua. the islands