Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-07-19
ON HIS VACATION

The man in the rear seat Of the open car
gave vent to a dry chuekle.
'Wel1, let's have it," said his companion,
when the chuckling had become a bit mo-
notonous.
I'm laughing at the difference between
anticipation and realization" said the
chuckler. you know I've just got back
from a two weeks vacation in the coun-
try"
"Uh-huh."
well, had all sorts of evil anticipation
when I started for the country-it was the
first time I'd ever made up my mind to
vacationize in the country in my life.
Wanted to try it out, anyhow, although my
mind was full of what I'd always been
reading in the funny papers about summer
boarding places in the country. So really
went prepared to find the conditions just as
the humorous publications portrayed them.
Expected to sleep on mattress so thin
that I'd be able to feel the Stats, in the first
place, and l felt positive that my room I'D
be up in the sloping attic. where the sun
would shine in fiercely at o'clock In the
morning, and the blue bottle flies I'D buzz
around, and all that. Had a perfect picture
in my mind. before I started, of the furni-
ture OF that room. Knew in advance that
there'd be only an old rickety Washstand,
with a scraped porcelain pitcher and bowl,
one uncertain chair covered with hot-look-
ing horse halr, ana one OF tnOS0 WTetCueu
oblong looking glasses that makes ones
face look like a Brownies. Felt positive
that in entering that room in the attic af-
ter dark I'd scrape my head against the
sloping ceiling and get my front hair COW
cred with kalsomine.
Then I knew that there'd be nothing but
canned truck to eat. The funny papers had
always informed me that all Of the country
produce is sent to the city, and that, there
fore, summer boarders are invariably COM
PEELED to put up with timed grub, supple
mented by the ferociously tough meat,
CRASHED, that's slaughtered IN the coun-
try. and eggs that had been packed In lime
over winter. I knew that as all OF the
good milk. had to be sent to the city to pass
the milk inspectors, the only milk I'd get In
the country would be that pale. blush.
watery-looking StufY-hadn't l been seeing
pictures Of crafty-looking proprietors Of
summer boarding houses in the country
pumping water into the milk for their
guests all my life in the comic papers?
"Of course, 1 knew that the bathing
would consist Of the modest watering
trough for the stock. and that the fishing
would be of the tadpOle variety In the
'crick' about four miles away over a
scorchng dusty road. / was prepared to
find it sizzling, searingly hot, with never a
breath of air to so much as stir the burnt
looking foliage of the trees. l knew that
the wide verandas' would consist of a
measley little AXIS porch in the front of the
weather-boarded house, and that at night
naked eye rising in the mists enctrcling
the house.
Il was convinced that the Agreeable So
ciety' would consist Of the foxy-eyed old
farmer and his worn wife and Scraggy
daughters, not to mention three or four
ravenous hired men, and that the music
would be furnished by one of the aforesaid
daughters on Sunday nights, in the shape
of doleful hymns wrung from a wheezy old
ante-beium parlor organ.
"There was no doubt in my mind that
the free driving would consist of spine
joting rides with the old farmer on a
springless wagon when he went over to
buy some salt mackerel for the guests din
ner, and l was equally positive that the
two mails a day meant that I'd be lucky if
/ received my letters and papers two times
a week"
Here the man who had vacationized in
the country suddenly broke off and again
chuckeS.
"Well." put in his companion. you found
out when you got there the difference be-
tween anticipation and realization, of
courSe?"
Nope" said the chuckler, as he prepared
to swing off the car in the face of danger,
Il didn't. There isn't any difference. My
anticipations exactly dovetaied, in every
particular. with what got out in the coun-
try. and then skillfully lodging the fierce
blow which his companion suddenly Ieveled
at him he swung off the running board
while the car was in full motion and es-
capped.