Evening star., 1902-03-08
Mr,tten for The FvenirE STAR.

when something ln1senS he little screw
that holds the link connecting the past and
the present the mental machinery instantly
ho gins t. run in a most irresponsible man
ner. Nor does nature provide any screw
driver for Tightening ~ the troublesome
break. 50 letters continue 70 lie unmailed In
husbands pockets and butt 1ns remain un-
sewed on mems shirts, all because people
arc victims OF the ''I-fo~got" habit.
But since the defect cannot be .emedied,
there is some compensation in tha humorous
side of the situation. The spectator rears
entertainment. though al the cost Of the
octtim,s sensitive actor III tbs perpetual
comedy of ab-ent-mindednos
4 New Yorker was entertaining n out
of-towu man. and as they stayted down
town the host hailed 9TH avenue stage
Tie 81. 81 dr, " back Gecliaing to enter the
vehicle aud the host sIgnaicd the driver to
60 on, Locking the while IA astoalsh.ncnt
81 his guest.
YOU viii pardon me-" exclaimed the lat
ter, flushing, nat | never ride in hat kind
OF conveyance, nor in a bob-tail car"
This statement struck the New Yorker as
absurd. for right well he knIW that in his
friends town were employed the very bob
tai! cars discarded by New York
Then how do You get around at hom@?'
Il walk. ! have made rule never to
ride in a car which has 10 conductor
aboard :
"Ah. then il is a matter of principle. You
do not propose TO do the company s work
for i grdtiS?"
mo, | do not" he answered with a
peculiar expression on his face. HIS whole
attitude was so reserved that, after finding
the cable or electric cars to his satisfaction,
his hest dropped the subject
A Fine Example.
But later in the day his eyes were opened.
They had dropped into the cub whore the
out-of-town man had seen much thar ir-
tcrestcd him. and as they left he seemed
somewhat preoccupied His host selected
and handed him his umbrella, ard waited
for him To put on his hat. Very gravely he
lifted a silver card receiver. and talking the
while on another topic. deliberately In
vsrted it upon his head. totally unconscious
Of the extraordinary proceeding. lie sem
cd to realize, however, that the tit was rot
perfect. and by more careful adjustment
finally settled 1t to his satisfaction, ana
would have proceeded into the street had
his attention not been called 20 the matter
lie laid the receiver IN the stand, took his
hat, and without falterinG 4 word IN the
conversation, walked down the steps.
Later. the New IorEt: met the Wife OF
his guest and mis- curiosity led him to in
quire into the secret If the mans dislike
for stages and bob-taiI cars. Her eXplana-
tion was given with tWnkiing eyes
Just between ourselves. III tell YOU
why 1t was when those ears first made
their appearance III our town. He boarded
one TO go TO his office. presently an old
lady sat down beside him and handed him
her nickel, with the request that he pass 1t
along 10 the box. In a few minutes there
was a great rUmpus and ringing of the
bell. which Indicated that some one was
eHdeaVoring to ride free. The passengers
looked from one 10 the other IN an effort
to spot the contemplate person. Then the
door opened, and the driver, putting his
head inside, yelled:
.Will that woman, there, please pay her
fare?"
Il gave 1t to this man. and he stole It. l
saw him put il into his own pocket
My husband disgorged the nickel and
fled from the car. In a few days he came
to me with the request that ! sew up his
pockets. as. in tit Of absent mindedness,
he had repeated the embarrassing perform
ance ] did as requested, but nothing was
accomplished. The next time he was on
to have changed Failing TO get it into his
pockets. he slipped II inside his trousers at
the top. Ever since then he has walked
Fate of Sandwich.
During the national convention OF 1850
the cid Exposition building in Chicago did
not accommodate one-tenth Of the people
who were eager to get inside the walls. In
order to AVOID the terrible crush. people
took their position at o'clock in the
morning. When the convention opened
much later than was anticipated the house
was absolutely solid with humanity, and
1t was just as impossible to get out as II
was 10 get in. As no adjournment was
taken at noon many tainted from heat and
hunger. Some sandwich men succeeded in
crawling along the raftcrs. and by wrap
ping their wares IN paper, would throw
parcel where person held his hands TO
catch. Payment was put in the paper. and
returned in like manner. At best the food
was not inviting, a great hunk Of ham fat
between two thick slabs of sour bread One
lady whose escort had secured after great
effort one OF these dainties was in guam
dary. She did not wish to offend the giver,
who had taken so much trouble. but 10 eat
it was utterly out of the question She
looked around for some means Of disposing
Of the obnoxious object, ut the same time
leaving the impression that she had con-
sumed K with a relish. The floor could
not be reached, SO tightly was she wedged
about Then came a happy thought. Her
pocket! She wrapped the sandwich in her
handkerchief. and stored It away In the
friendly receptacle.
1t WIS between 9 and when the
convention adjourned and as the party.
who were from Out-of-town, had box for
the theater that evening, they dined at a
nearby restaurant afterward attending the
play. Macbeth was the attraction. with
a famous lady star. 1t happened that the
proscenium boxes were simply an extension
OF the stage floor. without rail- or bar to
separate them. Thus the occupants were
thrown into great prominence, their slight
est movement being seen by the audience.
them spellbound. She had made a great
impression but there is nothing certain in
the affairs OF this world. The lady of the
sandwich was the person foreordained to
carry that house.
Possessed OF maddenng desire to sneeze.
she tried, faithfully, to smother the tickling
sensation. by all the known means at her
command. She swallowed, rubbed her nose
and held her breath, but fihding she could
10 longer keep down the impending ex-
plosion. which had gathered great volume
by being detained, as a last resort, she
jerked out her handkerchief with the hope
OF drowning the noise In Its folds
David's sling was not more true In its aim
than was the handkerchief In landing that
accursed sandwich squarely In the face Of
Lady Macbeth" After executing this
blow. II rolled to the floor. pacdly turning
out from between the slabs OF bread the
chunk of ham, whose fat glistened in the
glare of the footlights. While the house
thundered with applause the Dox party beat
hasty retreat.
An Absent Minded Minister.
A clergyman was badly afflicted with alb
sent-mindedness, despite the fact that his
wife watched him like hawk One prank
Of his disordered brain finally proved his
undoing with his congregation. which had
hitherto been long suffering He had fre-