Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1902-11-19
Who Passed the
Great Football Man !?
IorlElnall

or the parties Interested. They must
all go rnder fictitious names. Wen
call the colleges Kings and Queens.
Kings was a large institution, and
Queens was small one. But Queens
had been lugged through series OF
successful games for the championship
by Spangier, a splendid, powerful fell
low, whose only fault was that he was
always In danger Of falling on his cx-
animation. And now. when the final
game of the series was coming on. he
had 10 go and make a guy of himself
by breaking down Id analytical geom-
etry. No student could play football
for the championship who had not
passed in every subject. The conse-
quence was that Queens must lose aft
err all her victories because the great
hulk Of fellow couldn't learn math-
ematics.
"Blast mathematical said the team
and the college generally. What's
mathematics compared with football?"
Now, Professor Plum of the chair Of
mathematics had every reason to help
been the best tackle when an under
graduate the college had ever had and
was stlll devoted to the game. More
over. he was engaged TO be married to
| SpanGler's sister. He had agreed to
| give the athlete n final trial the day
before the game was TO be played and
be rs lenIent as possible with his pa
pers, but the professor was conscien-
tious man. and Spausler must get the
average required by college law.
| Aud SO ii was that the day before the
game. when everybody said that Span
gler should he spending his time legiti-
mately practicing with the team in
stead OF wasting II In useless figures
I he was sitting In classroom endearor-
ing TO answer the questions Plum had
written out for him.
| IL was 4 o'clock before Spangler
| handed In his papers, and Professor
| Plum. who did not relish spending an
evening apart from his betrothed, took
| them TO the little boudolr where Alice
| usually received him and, taking
his pencil. began TO look them over,
| its value The rule was that the stu
| dent must get sixty out of a possible
| hundred In order TO pass. Alice. who
| had been graduated at the head OF her
class the year before at the woman's
| college attached to the university. ask
/ ed the professor to read the questions
I and their answers aloud.
| There were ten questions. The first
| was complete breakdown and was
| given n zero. The second was answer
! ed perfectly and received 100, the third
| 90 and so on 10 the end As the pro-
| fessor put down the numbers Alice
added them In her head. and when
! eight had been answered with only a
| total OF 400. or an average OF 40. she
knew that unless the next two ques-
lions received 100 each the result would
| be n failure
| Il think" she said. that you made a
| slight mistake in giving only 80 TO the
| sixth question. II was in two parts.
| The first part was not answered en-
tirely wrong. and the second was all
right"
After a brief argument the professor
was convinced and added 80 to the
score. The eighth question was fairly
answered and secured so. This gave
total Of $40, and the last question
must receive 90 TO make the required
average. The professor who had not
kept tally. was about to mark GO for IT,
when Alice stopped him.
''The first four out of five subdivi-
sions In this question are right" she
said.
The third is wrong"
Figure it again"
He did SO and found an error In his
own work. He changed the marking
TO so.
| Before you take the average" said
Alice. who knew that 1t was still short
by 10 numbers. ''look over the fourth
question again"
The professor did so. and Alice took
Issue with him on his Interpretation of
the answer, claiming that the student
meant one thing while the professor
claimsd he meant another. Plum was
not thoroughly convinced. but, feeling
that one on trial should have the ben
eft OF all doubts. yielded and added 1C
/ TO the total.
II sincerely hope" said the profess
| or, ''that the average will be up to the
mark, but | fear not"
Meanwhile several hundred students
who had tracked the professor had
congregated outside the house and now
began TO howl for the result.
'Ill make the addition before them. -
said Plum. '"Then neither they nor
the faculty can accuse me, since don't
know the result myself"
Going out on the piazza, he faced the
expectant crowd
Gentlemen, have laid down fair
value for each question. | do moi
know the result, but will strike all
average"
a.