The Savannah morning news., 1902-12-01
UNCLE MING0 ON JUSTICE.

80 1 see by de paper" said Uncle
Mingo; de cotes has been rewardin'
de righteous an punishin' de sinners
cen a manner quite remarkable"
"Dey tries Teller one time for bout
six mont's an fin him guilty; den dey
tries him again for bout two weeks an
dey fin him not guilty. Dere mus be
some screw loose somewe'eres; how
does you 'splain dat?" asked the wait
| err.
de cotes," said Uncle Mingo, "is
like Providence; dey moves cen a mys-
terous way, an wonders does perform.
| De people knows wot's wot; dey use
to say 'cotes OBJ Justice now dey say
'cotes OBJ law It's all de same, only.
diffunt. Use got Jestice on my side.'
a Teller say. Dat amt nothin, say de
cote; de udder Teller got de lava You
go way back an take a walk"
Very true" said the waiter, t'but
| den you has de jury
20, yes" said Uncle Mingo; you
has de jury, but wot's de good OBJ dat?
Sposin' de railroad run ober you an
cut off your head, or bot your legs,
or sumpin', or sposin' you jump off
street car an skin your shin, or spos-
in big, rich Teller tell ebblebody you
has been guilty OBJ KILN policeman,
or stealth a banana, or some udder
ekilly henious crime; you starts a suit
| for bout sebenteen tousan' dollars Up
| jump de lawyer for de udder side.
May it please de cote he say: I
moves TO squash the 'dictment.' 'Wot
| for" say de cote. Well, maybe de
lawyer say cause a name was spell
| wrong, or some o. de is wasn't dot,
or dey fail to say wot county Savan-
nah was cen, or some udder similar
mistake. All right say de cote,
| squash she is. 1"
| Yes" said the waiter "but spose
| de cote don't say squash
| Dat only make 1t las longer" said
Uncle Mingo, your lawyer call you
| to de stan. Wen, you goes on to say
| dat one time de Teller tell you--up
jump de udder lawyer. 'Hol on!' he
say, I Object dis here schernin' hy-
| pocrit can't come no hear-say ebbi-
| dence cen dis easel De cote might
say lection sustain, or de same ober-
rule-don't make no difference. Deyll
keep on objectin' an trytn' to pick
| flaws to de berry las. Well, you got
de jury, an de jury fin for you cen de
sum OBJ ST. so. IN jis' take dat, say
your lawyer" an now you won't owe
me but $S2. so mo- or maybe deyn fin
for bout $3.50. Den dey moves for a
| new trial, an drag along for a year
or two. an den take yousup to de
Spreme Cote. an de Lord only knows
Were you will finally git off at las 8.
| All you ebber gifts is de blessed prib-
biledge OBJ starbin yourself an pawn
in edible ting you got to meet de law
yer's necessary expense. De jury don't
count for much; dey decides de justice
as dey sees de same to pertain but
den come de law--dat's de whole hog -
Dey'se been comm down on de gam
bin lately" observed the waiter.
so l see" said Uncle Mingo; dat
was too bad. But you mustn't blame
de cote for dat. Two tree years ago
de cote had some fellers up an tell
dem de trade was VERY sinful an
harmful trade to de state, aldough
very useful to de officers oh de cote.
Let us off wild a fine dis one time dey
say, an we won't nebber do so no
mo- Well say de cote l let you
down wild a fine dis time, but mex time
1t will be Jail. Mex year, an cen fac,
edible year, same fellers, same wirtu-
GUS conversation, same fine.
Dis year dey had jis been up an
pay de fine an git tun loose for anud-
der year, Wen de peaceful an cote
perfected game O. keno was de scene
of mos unfortnit an distressin dis
turbance. People shot, chairs smash
ed. an wuss oh all, holes shot cen de
keno box. Brave an gallant mems
stampede down stairs, jump out win
ders, an climb up de chimbly. 1t mus
a been mos appallin' sight.
"Cose de cote VERY much surprise
1t glib de cote pain.
Wot! say de cote; at 1t again?
Is 1t possible! Well. sence you is up
again, de milkin' process mus be re-
sumo 'Tain't fairl' say he fellers;
wy. we is jis done pay out for dis
year! Can't help it, say de cote;
you amt had ought to had no SIGH
row like dat. Can't git out OBJ it now:
Bascom an dem udder feilers wouldn't
nebber let us hear de las oh 1t. Be-
sides. say de cote, 'gamblin' is de
| wuss sin cen de Code: it's heap wuss
dan murder We can scuse murder,
say de cote, AN cen fac, we mos
generally does scuse it. Dat calls for
| jail or rope, an rope cos money.
| But gamblin' calls for fine. an Wild
out fines Were would de profits OBJ de
cote come cen? You is edible one lis
as bad as one anudder,' say de cote;
but 1 shill properly discrimmernate
cen de fines, accordin to de ability to
pay, an range de amount from S25
to 81 900: but at de same time. YOU is
all elSilly bad, If not wuss.'"
1T look to me-" observed the waiter.
dat de punishment ought to be med
gered out accordin' to de disparative
degree of recrimnation.''
| Dey does dat too sometimes" said
Uncle Mingo. ''Ain't you see bout DAT
! Teller wot dey had up de udder day for
stealth a whole sample OBJ starch wot
was distribute aroun' free? De cote
look at de wretched an desperate GRIM
inal cen a very severe tone o. voice.
Dis sample OBJ starch say de cote.
wich' cen defiance oh de statutes an
limitations oh de state an county
aforesaid, you has nefariously an fe-
loniously purloin. wild de 'tention OBJ
deVotin' de same to your own use or
else dat of some cullud female Niger
washerwoman OBJ your 'quaintance. is
wort tree quarters oh one cent. Now
say the cote, we can't make no charge
for a quarter OBJ a cent, so we win
call II one cent cen roun' numbers
Now say de cote. we has already
stablish de schedule here-two cent
wort oh banana, one year cen iafl.'
'derefore one cent wort oh free starch
sample, six monts. Bring on de mex -
"Dey wouldn'ta done dat TO a wife
man." said the walter
But. you see. II wasn't wife man !"
said Uncle Mingo. "dats de reason
dey has cen de Latin prayer-book de
prayer gaudeamus nigitur.' wich means
God mussy on de Niger