davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

A list made up by us at random from
newspaper accounts, and without any
thought of completeness. of tho num-
Der OF persons who have lost their
lives through this passion for risk the
love of hazard, during the past few
months makes a total Of several hun
dred. This includes some forty I'VE
persons who have lost their lives in au-
tomsbilcs, seventeen who have miss
ed" their footing in balloon exhibitions,
nine who have been ushorod out Of .X-
istence by the means Of the bicycle
and its allied cortriNancps two who
have climbed stecnles for the last time.
three bridge jumpers, seventeen Alpine
climbers. Ave long distance swimmers,
seven who have been blottcd ont Of
existence in efforts to break athletic
records and scores of others Who have
gone to better and. il may be hoped,
a safer land by various other agencies
or methods designed ostcnsihly 10 pro
mote the joys of this present life. If
to thi. list We should add the 300 other
mountain climbers who 1t is snid have
lost their lives in the Alps during the
past ten years, the total sacrifice Of
human life To the rage for risk would
indeed assume formidable proportions.
--Lesl!e's
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

The Paris letter in the Saturday
Evening Post tells Of the two blessings
of western civilization it is the ambi-
ton of an American educated Japa-
nese girl to take home to her land. 1t
was at one of NJ. Delcassc's receptions
In the ministry for foreign affairs. She
came with the japanese emhnssad or's
party. and she was winsome ms how
er. this delicate Japanese rlrl-eh. an
amber girl!-dressed in the sl.en srlen-
dor of her race. Therefore was it al
most uncanny to hear her talk with a
down east accent. When you sasped.
she said:
why. l am a Wellesley girl, you
know"
And are you going home"
Yes; back to Japan"
The small face grew very serious
Il want to teach my people two
things when | get back" she said
''ice cream and the gospel"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
HE DOCTORED THE EGGS.
Physician Played Sheriock Holmes
and Caught n Dishones'
Employee.

Long Island doctor who has been
missing eggs from his poultry yard
for some time is happy at last, for
he has discovered the thief. For
months every effort and every device
to detect the culprit failed, but final
y. the doctor hit upon a scheme that
was worthy of sherlock Holmes.
He took a dozen or more eggs and
bored the tiniest of holes in the shelf
of each. Then through these holes he
introduced into the eggs piece Of
very fine wire. The hole. were then
filled with white wax and the eggs
returned TO the nest
A few days afterward the doct or WIS
called in TO see tie child of woman
in the village near him. After attend
ing the child he talked about one thing
and another until the lady told him
of such a strange thing that had hap
pcncd to her 4 few days before she
had bought half dozen eggs from the
village grocer and in four Of them she
had found short pieces Of wire.
These were produced and shown to
the doctor. who took possession of
them, and told the lady how they had
come 10 be in the eggs. He then inter
viewed the grocer, who fna lly admitted
that he had been buying eggs for some
time from man employed by the
doctor. The man is now working else
where. SAYS the New York Times. and
the doctor no Longer patronizes that
Narti Culnr groccr.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
PONY LIVES on COAL DIET.
A Pet shetland I'm Chicago Develops
Appetite for 8ltuminoUs
Fuel.

A Chicago butcher is greatly an
noyef by tho Unsuitable appetite his
pet shetland pony has shown OF late
for soft coal, One day lately the
pony broke its halter strap. and. find
ing the barn door locked. souirmcd
through hole in partition between
tho barn and a coal shed, where it
was found some time later, content
edly munching the fuel.
The owner was at "A loss to account
for the unusually large amount OF
coal his family had used this winter
until he found the pony in the coal
bin. The discovery also explained. he
thought. why the pony had been "otf
its feed" of late, and why condition
pow ders had failed to restore its APP
petite.
In his opinion. the pony had been
in the habit Of appcaSing its hunger
with soft coal for several weeks past.
The animal has grown fat on its I'M
usual diet,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
A New National Park

Katherine Louise Smith tells in
Outlook the need and the oppor-
tunity-for a new national park in
north central Minnesota. There
stands to-day a piece Of ancient for
estcd America Gn fact. the only
great northern pine forest between
the Rocky mountains and the At
lantic ocean) which il is possible still
to save from destruction. Within the
limits of the Chippewa Indian reser-
walton, along the Lccch, Cass and
Winnchaeoshish lakes, there are, as
if ready and waiting for this pur-
pose, G11.5o2 acres Of land and 21s,-
27O acres Of water surface. 1t is the
land of the original Dakotas and
Oiibwas-the cradle of northwestern
story and tradition.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
THAT FIEND.

4 ficnd Of evil day and night
Pursues and haunts me;
Ids laugh my courage puts TO fight
His presence dauLts me.
At tennis his sarcasms make
Ne melancholy;
lie Grins TO see me fail to take
A hard half voilcy"
lie says: "Oh. you will never learn.
You're such duffcr!'
Until my tingling fingers burn
To make him suffer
At golf he brags the whole round through
o. beating "Bogcy;'
] hear myself alluded to
As that old fogcy.'
He asks me riddles fresh from school
At dinner table;
And makes me look as big fool
AS he Is able;
lie sets me awful sums to do
In manner breezy,
Assures me 'if crly knew,
They're beastly easy"
He cycles--it's new machine
had to buy H.
| Contempt In every smile IS seen
Whene'er / try it!
lie says he's glad Cand so am y
| I'm not his brother;
| To distant lands Ic Ike to fly.
| But then-h!s mother.
| or sweet revenge I'll have my fill
! He'll rue It, rather,
Just let him wait six weeks until
I'm his stcpfather
Clifton Bingham in Pearsou's Magazine
/
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
FIFTEEN MICLtONAlRES.
That Il All England Hns and IreIaa d
Has but One.


There are only fifteen millionaircs in
Great Britain and one in Ireland-at
least this would appear to be 40 from
the ofncial income tax returns Just is
sued
According to the returns, these six
teen persons make the sum total Of the
individuals in this country who enjoy
incomes Of over 10000, and this is
about the millionaire level.
1t Is true that there are 1874 people
with incomes Of between 10000 and
$50 900, ard, Of course. n considera bic
number Of these are just on the line
across which they would be classed as
millionaircs. Incomes of between
$1,000 and 10000 are enjoyed by 424
people.
To be an assessor Of income tax one
needs heart OF nint. To him the
world is a Dantes1ue inferno, filled
with dolorous conplaininKs.
1t is always, THE worst year re-
member, SIR" or Hard times, very
hard times" every year sees the nation
ION Its last financial legs"
the smaller income people have no op-
portunity Of pleading poverty. They
are people with salaries, and the in
come tax man has acce-. TO the telltale
wage list. But the millionaire Is not
a salaried man. For the most part he
pays On an assessment provided by
himself. and the above quoted figures
give one to think"
Down the scale the numbers gradual
ly increase until Of incomes between
t160 and 600 there are no fewer than
13s. i56, while Of smaller incomes not
exempt from taxation there are 112.-
39T.
But there Is one singular exception
to this steady graduation. There are
mparativoly few incomes OF between
$500 and 5000. the number being 1889
in Great Britain, whereas the figures
Immediately above and below arc 1885
and 2,641.
There appears. indeed to he strange
fatality about this particular size of
income. for we find that it is rare not
! only in the case of private persons, but
| dISo hl his, puDiIc COMPANIES anu
municipal corporations.
The return gives startling evidence
of tho large proportion Of the burden
which is borne by the comparatively
! poor man. OF incomes between t1CO
and 800 the gross amount assessed
is f2J,933.Jl3; of the incomes between
1900 and $500 the gross amount as
sesscd is f24.215,614, but OF incomes
between $1,000 and f2000 the gross
amount assessed va. only tS,252.544.
1t is interesting to note that there
arc in Great Erltain cichtvsiX firm:
with an income OF over 10000 bu,
not one In Ireland. and that in Grea'
Britain there are 65G public companies
and in Ireland 10 which have income:
Of over l5O. 000.-London Mail.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
RED HOUSE ON THE HILL.

When the light is gently fading,
And the busy day Is DER,
put down my work OF knitting,
And close the open door.
Then take quiet journey
To the land Of long ago
See once more che dear, old faces
OF the loved | used to know.
with whet cheer they come to greet me.
In the twilight soft ana stin.
AS | reach the dear old homestead
Little rea house on the hill!
dIand in hand we walk together
Up the path that wineeth through
Beds of blossoms, bright and fragrant
Laden with the evening dew.
Here and there | stop 10 listen
To some mother bird + soft peep
From a nest where little birdlinSs
Have not quieteo to sleep.
And the tall trees mo- their welcome.
As ] pass across the Sill
OF that home where leVe enfolds me
Little red house Oh the Mill!
From those windows facing eastward.
From those windows facing west,
! can see the pleasant valley,
See the mountains woody crest.
And across the fields in silence,
Pointing heavenwaro the spire
or the old church where used TO
Sing soprano in the choir.
There the brook winds through the meadow
on its journey TO the mill.
3 what beauty lies about thee
Little red house on the hill!
when the darkness softly deepens.
Ard the evening lights are lit.
1return from the sweet visit,
Busily again knit,
While the children with their prottle
Gather close about my Chaiv
Knowing not that loving Grandma,
Has been far away somewhere.
All the world for me grows brighter.
Sweetest peace my heart doth fill,
when I'VE been to the old homestead
Little red house on the hill!
Susan Teall Perry, H. Chicago Interior.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

The following advertisement recent
" appeared in London paper: milk
If the individual who stole the milk
off my doorstep this morning will be
good enough to knock at the door on
the occasion of his next professional
visit I'll give him drop Of rum 10 put
in il. Milk taken neat on cold mornings
and an empty stomach is likely 10 in
iure the internal economy of outdoor
workers. Address, etc"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
tIov She Knew,

A little girl from crowded tcne-
mcnt-bousc was delightedly telling a
friend in the college settlement about
her teacher, relates the Youths Com
psnion.
"She's just perfect Indy, that's what
she is said the child.
"lluh How do you know she's a
perfect LADY," questioned her friend
"You've known her only two days"
"rt's easy enough telling" was the
Indignant answer. 81 know she's per
feet lady because she makes me feel
polite all the time"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Judge (to prisoner)--Drunk again,
Patrick. What have you TO say for
yourself this time?
Patrick--Sure. yer amer, it's livin
up to me Christian principles Oh am.
Judge-Christian principles, you ras-
cal!
Patrick-Yes. yer amer; amt it yer
self as says whsky's me wurst enemy,
and nin't it me Christian principles as
teaches me TO love me enemies IN. Y.
Jimcs
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
DisaUDOinted.

Mrs. Richmond-I never was so dis
appointed in all my life!
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures is the
matter?
Mrs. Richmond heard there was
an awful scandal in our church, and
come to find out it was only that the
treasurer had been misappropriating
the funds.-Puck.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Old Bullion ton his dcathhcd)-An
my property is'wiled 10 you. but I'm
afraid my children by my first wife
vii make contest, and then the
lawyers will get it.
Young Wifc--Don't worry. my love:
] can easily fix that. I'll marry one of
the lawycrs.--N. y. Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

"Things never seem properly adj
iusted in this world" said the care
less young man.
"For instance?"
81 have observed time and again
that the people with the most ex-
pcnsive tastes almost invariably have
the least money to meet them."-
Washington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

"Dont you think that modern actors
are more repressed in their methods
than the old timers were?' asked the
friend.
YES" answered Mr.. Stormin gton
Barnes, SCENERY has become so elab-
crate and expensive that we have to
carry ourselves with more caution in
Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
M CauNc for MOrrY.

Flap-l'm in love, and the only dis
agreeable thing about it is, that the
girl is older than
Jack-How old are you now?
I'm IS"
"And the lady is what?"
"Twenty-two."
"Maltc your mind easy, my boy. BY
the time you are 81 she'll be only 20."-
Tit-Bits.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
Only Point worth Considering.

Confidential Friend--Im not sure
about this measure being for the
public good. Have you considc red
what would be the result il it should
pass?
Statesman-Consid I've done
a lot more than that. I've made in
quirics all over my district, and it
won't affect my chances for another
term in the slightest degree. Chi
caCo Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
II wouldn't Do at All

"Let's have a George Washington
party"
whats that?"
"Why, everyone is pledged TO speak
the exact truth"
"Great heavens! You don't want to
start ncighborhood feud, do you?-
Chicago Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
What's In a Name

800 You call this realistic hction?"
asked the critic.
"Certainly," replied the author.
"What's the matter with it?"
ITS altogether too probable" an
swered the critic.-Chicago Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
ObiectiOu Was Unanimous

$50 YOU did not marry Miss Money
bags. after ALP"
"No. her family all object ed"
"But if the girl liked you"
"Do not misunderstood me; she
was as much opposed to it as any OF
them. "-Iit-B
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Briggs-So you are going to have
your fortune told by the new as
trologer downtown. Let me give YOU
"A pointer. IF you want him TO predict
that you will one day be rich, just give
him a handsome tip.
ggs--That's all right. I'll give
him my note for thousand or so. pay
Boston Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

"But the new minister at that
church is so awfully conceted."
Put, really, last Sunday he was
quite modest"
you don't say"
eyes. In the course Of his sermon
he said: we are all more or less
fallible. Even | am. '"-Philadelphia
Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
REQUEST ION IS GRANTED
Benjamin Stevens, the Alleged Under.

BENJAMIN Stevens, the Alleged Under
hill Forger, Coming Back 10 Vermont.
Hartford, Conn, Nov. l0,-iovernor Nc
Lean has accepted Il reQuisition from the
governor OF Vermont Cor Benjamin Ste
Neus charged with forgery committed in
Cuderhnl VI, March IT, 1879, The gov
ernor has issued "a warrant for tho arrest
and delivery of stevens to the Vermont
authoriucs. stevens is in the Brooklyn
jail but his term expires tomorrow.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

"That |, penniless youth, should
have won the love of You, brought mp as
you have been in the lap of luxury"
he exclaimed, with heaving bosom.
"Oh. one tires Of the same lap all the
time protested she, archly.-Town
Topics,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
The lnsnubhed Snub,

Clarice Katherine is always
looking out for more important peo-
Pile; so I determined not to notice
her at Mrs. Chic's reception.
Clarence-How did it work?
Claricc-Oh, she didn't even notice
that | didn't notice her.--Brooklyn
Iifa
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

The Daddy-Lct me give YOU hit
Of advice. my dear. To a man the
heart Of the woman he loves is like
an oil country.
The Daughter-How can that be.
pa?
The Daddy-The interest is intense
only so long as there is prospect OF
new discoveries .-Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
Tn lie GnnrdCd

"You say your airship is a success"
81 do" answered the inventor.
'But it never flies any distance worth
mentioning"
"Of course not. 1t is too valuable an
invention to be allowed off the earth
very long at a time."-Washington
Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Mrs. lIighhlower-Il How 10 your
daughter getting on with her music
essons?
Mrs. Dimplcton Splcndidly! She
can play the piano now without inter
rupting the conversation. - Town
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

do you believe in realism in the
drama >" asked the friend.
Il do" answered Mr. Stormington
Barnes. "Many is the time | would
have given a great deal to play Mac
beth with a real banquct,"-Washing-
ton Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Miss Gusch-Am | FOND of Paderew-
ski? Indeed | am. Why, there's a
fascinatio ion in his very name.
Mr.. Grabbe-I don't know about
that, but there's certainly queer
spell about it-,Phladelphia Press,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Grocer-Tcn pounds of cheese?
Yes, sir. What kind?
Hauskeep-Any old kind. just
want it to catch mice with.
Grocer Gracious Ten pounds
would catch all the mice in town.
Hauskccp-Well. it looks as if we
had 'em.--Fhila dclphia Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Mother-Do you think that young
man has saved anything?
Daughtcr-Und Undoubtedly, MAJ He
SAYS he has never loved before
Puck.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Hewitt--Is your life insured for the
benefit of your wife?
Jewett--No, | don't believe in doing
business in a roundabout way, and so
! had the policy made payable to her
second husband. N. Y Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
His Long smoke.

BENJAMIN. going to smoke as long
as ] live.
Mrs. Benham-Oh, longer than that,
dear.--N. Y. Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

She-It's pity you haven't mind
of your own.
Cholly-Jove, | ought to have. You
give me piece of yours often enough!
Harlem Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
A ChcckcrcL (nrcer.

Manage -laNe you ever had any ex-
perience on the stage?
Chorus Girl have had all my ex-
periences on the stage, .ir.-Brooklyn
Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

She-I know some couples that
along pretty well later on.
He-Oh. yes Some people take
matrimony like. rhcumatisn - they
get so they don't complain much
Puck
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
She Was Not Economical.

Bcnham-Do You remember that
before we were married you said you
could never he poor mans wife?
Mrs. Bcnham-Wcll, l wasn't, was
l?
Renham-No, but you will be soon
If you keep on at the rate you are
going nOw.-.Judce.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
Too Green for Any Use.

He-I have never loved any other
woman since mother.
Shc-Then you need governess, not
a wife.-Town Topics.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

A Gamer, exceedingly cauny,
One morning remarked TO his granny,
"a Gamer can can
Anything that he can.
But Gamer cant can a can can he?"
--Bostou Globe
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Tho bore. though scantily admired.
l. none th- less happy Ell
He talks till everyone is tired
And thus is never bored himself.
Wa shincton Star
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
N'Nrs! Quite So!

Did Dora tell you about Jacks pro-
posal? She says he literally hurled
himself al her feet"
"Ah, but | suppose she suppressed
the fact that she had. tigurcatively,
flung herself at his hcad."-Ally
Sinner
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

"Was her wedding n success"
sob, yes! She received rs pres.
ents."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
An InsinuatiOn,

"They claim to be connected with
some of the best families"
by telephone?" - Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13
Not InpOssibIe.

Bill-Do You think it impossible to
keep "a good man down?
Jill--No, not if he's dead.-Balti-
more News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

SMITH understand you told
Brown that you thought | was a liar
Jones' never told him | thought
You was liar. ] merely said |
knew you were.--Chicago Daily News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-11-13

Mrs, Younghub-See, George, dear,
the nice rug with Admiral Dewey's
portrait in it that I've bought for
the hall.-Chicago Daily News.