The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1902-01-15
i" 1oH'll wake hymn up" suggested

4" Yor'll wake hymn up" suggeste
+, the bass.
, Z" could make better pun tha
lat, as sure us my names Psalm y
rem rkcd the boy that pumped tn
orga"; but he said IT solo no Que qual
tet Llfe.
"A well dressed and attractive look
lns man well known ON the East Side
boarded Wells street car to com,
d'wnt 'wn yesterday morning. Severa
non stood on the back platform, ant
among the number was a stranger. III,
gazed admiringly at the line looking
fellownf"r tlmo, and then ASKED:
" Who is that swell in the end seat?'
He's Mr.. BLANK"
con! What is hc-a spor 2"
Why, no! He's lawyer"
PShawP' he answered disgustedly.
&C. Is that all he is?"-Milwaukee Sen
tinul.
| Mrs. Browne-And who is the presi.
dent OF your club now, Mrs. Malaprop?
Mrs. Malaprop (proudb) )-I am the
present incumbrance, just now.-Phil-
atelphia Press.
Shells this the insurance agency?
He-Yes, ma'am. What can L do
for you?
Sh' i want an msuia' &C policy at
once My house is on fire Chicago
News.
F" Aren't you glad you're through
the holiday rush?" he asked.
We're not" replied the saleslady,
ianyujdly. "rhc women haven't GOT
half through exchanging their presents
yct.-Phlladelphla Bulletin.
4" "A woman has acted as Speaker of
he Colorado House of Representa-.
Livcs," said KiIduff.
F" Mrs. Tiff acts constantly as speak
er of my house," added Mr.. riff-De-
Croit Free Press.
Crawford: Why do you think their
unaway marriage will turn out to be
a happy one?
Crabshaw: Because all their rela-
t'ves were so angry about it that they
refuse to visit tbem-Judge.
Yes, he was arrested for running
IN illegal laundry"
"Norsensc. What's an illegal |
iaundrS?'
" ~ place whore ,hey wash the cam
ellltion mark; from postage sta n,.s."
Plain Dealer.
Fuddy-Don't you consider it the
iuty of he government to look out for
he people?
Duddy-It seems TO me things would
'ome out better if the peop'c would
l)ok out for their government little |
more Boston TRANSCRIPT.
+" He gave me message to deliver
TO brother George" she explained de-
nurely.
Was it necessary to kiss you in
rider TO d. thal?' demanded her
mother.
Yes" she answered; it was a
sealed message Washington Star.
H. looked despairingly into vacancy.
Il have had my misgivings," he said
"A IA dull and passionlcss voice, "but
ow L ain sure. Your laugh shows !
he on are utterly hcarless."
Snc turned pale. |
I" Heavens I" she cri, d in terror, "did |
[ open my mouth as wide as that?"
After preaching d sermon on the
late of the wicked an English clergy |
nan met an old woman well known |
or her gossiping propensilies, and he
aid hope my sermon has borne
uit. You heard what | said about
the Ice where there shalt be wailing
md gnashlng of lceth?" We'll, a.
o that" answered the dame, "if L as
my thing to say, 1T be this: Let them
.nash their teeth as has 'em-I amt"
Senator III, itfold is fond Z, f German
ouking. There is little restaurant
near the Capitol that he patrouIzes
frequently. The other day the plac,
hanged hands, and the S nator was
,rected by a stranger when he went il
iur luuch.
Z" What have you got to-day 2" he
.sked.
(" have pigs feet, lambs tongue,
boar's head, deviled Kidneys ..
Stop !" thundercd the Senator. !"
don't care about your ailments; can
IN here to cat. .'-Baltimore News.