davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
Some Phonetic spelling.

Before we complain of the spelling
of our daughters we should perhaps
take exception to the pronunciation of
our fathers. Most of the eccentricities
in spelling common to children arise
from their attempts to reproduce words
as they hear them pronounced by their
elders a child who was told TO make
a list of all the fruits she knew wrote
down, Apis, strorbriz, rarsbriz, gooz-
bris, bnarners." Another spelled the
word idea with the addition of an
''r." 'Idear"' exclaimed her teacher.
That Is Il funny way of spelling
idea" Her pupil, however, was not to
be outdone. II know" she answered
readily, but spelled it that way for
short."-London Chronicle.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
A story Of Professor Huxley.

Professor Huxley, DIR. Wayland de-
clared, was once sitting at dinner be-
side a lady who in impassioned tones
asked him whether he did not think it
a very terrible thing that the Rev. Mr..
Jones, the vicar, should have adopted
the eastward position in administering
the sacrament. My dear lady" he re-
piled, Il am told by Sir John Herschel
that to drop Il pea at the end of every
mile of a voyage on limitless ocean
to the distance of the nearest fixed star
would require a fleet of 10000 ships,
each of 600 tons burden, all starting
with a full cargo of peas. Now, do you
really suppose that the Maker of the
fixed stars considers this new position
of AIF. Jones u serious thing?"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
winter CLOCKS In china.

In the history of the Tang dynasty
it is stated that in Persia at the same
period there was a clepsydra on ter
race near the palace formed of a bal
ance containing twelve metal balls,
one of which fell every hour on bell
and thus struck the hours correctly. 1t
is deemed not unlikely that this instru-
ment was identical with the celebrated
one which the king of Persia sent in
the year S07 to Charlemagne.
In sos the astronomer Tsiang pro-
duced an Improvement on all former
instrumental machine arranged on a
sort of miniature terrace ten feet high
and divided into three stories, the
works being In the middle. Twelve i'm
ages of men, one for every hour. ap-
peared in turn before an opening in
the terrace. Another set of automatic
struck the hours and eighths of hours.
These figures occupied the lowest sto-
~.
The upper story was devoted to as
tronOmy, containing an Orrery In mo-
ton. Very complex machinery must
have been required. As to the nature
of the mechanism nothing is known ex-
cept that it was kept going by falling
water.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
Too Easy.
On the other Foot.

"There was a time" said the drum
mer as the talk turned on circuses-
there was a time when l had case
or conscience over the ticket seller at a
circus. walked up to the wagon and
gave him a twenty dollar bill, and
plainly saw him count me out $24.50 in
return. 1 grabbed the wad and started
of with my heart in my throat, and
was thinking of the dinner I'd have
on that 81 when my conscience be-
gan to upbraid me. / tried to stifle
that still small voice, but couldn't do
It, and after a quarter of an hour de-
cided to go back and return the poor
fellow the Overplus. 1 thought might
as we'll count the money over, however,
and did"
"And perhaps he had paid you even
$14 too much?' Queried one of the anx-
ious listeners.
NO, he hadn't" dryly replied the
drummer. ..-..ss.szsass,
"Was it just s4?' 5s!zs. .zsse:S.sEl
''No." - -
"Then how much?"
"He had coolly and deliberately beat
en- me out of four, and when told him
of it he jumped down from the wagon
ard knocked my head on"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

s. small girl told falsehood. Her
mother, with great dignity, led the
youthful offender to the library and,
sitting down beside her, said: you
know, Katharine, grandma has gone to
heaven and papa has gone to heaven,
but if you tell untruths you cannot go
to heaven with them. You will have
TO go to the other place."
The little maiden looked very grave
for moment and said, Say a swear
word, mamma, and come to the other
place too."-New York Tribune.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
AN ODD CALLING. )
The Professional Business Adviser
and His Methods.

and His Methods.
One of the oldest of occupations is
that of the professional business adj
WISER" If your affairs are not conduct
ed to your liking, this gentleman for
consideration will station himself in
your office in position to see all that
is going on He will nose into your af
fairs for a week or longer at your OPP
ton, at the end of which time he will
''be prepared to point out the faults of
your system, employees who neglect
their duties, wastage of supplies and
time, and suggest means of improving,
extending and conducting your affairs
on a sounder basis.'
The words quoted are from this mod
est gentleman's advertisement. In
brief this man, after a weeks observa-
tion, will undertake to rearrange the
most complex office systems for a
consideration" and give you advice
free, gratis, for nothing" AS drown
ing men catch at straws, so do men
whose affairs are hopelessly and mex
tricably muddled grasp at the chance
this gentleman holds out to them. The
professional business adviser" has
plenty OF clients, and nine times out of
ten his advice to his employer is to
make an assignment for the benefit of
your creditors" 1t is the safest coun-
sci he can give.-Philadelphi Times.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
roo nrnch Anprecintion.

A biography of Huxley dwells on the
annoyance which he suffered from
bores. But the plague had its funny
side. Huxley once wrote to a friend:
IL had letter from fellow yester-
day morning who must be lunatic, to
the effect that he had been reading my
essays. thought 1 was the man-to spend
a month with and was coming down by
the O'clock train attended by his sew
en- children and his mother-in-lawv'
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
The Jncknot Denned.

A subscriber asks, What is jackpot
that 1 read about once in awhile, and
what seems to be the difficulty in get
ting it open?'
A jackpot is one for properly cooking
fish and is especially recommended for
suckers. 1t has time lock, over the
combination of which millions of Amer
leans have burned the midnight oil IN
vain.-AmericGn Thresherman.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
The Retter Chnice.

"Ze Miss A1ilyons. it is said. spen's
THOUSANDS of dollars on re bonnets
alone, my dear count" observed the
baron. "She is re one for you"
NO, my dear baron" was the re-
ply. 81 will make re proposal to her
milliner."-Judge.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
Practical PbiIosonbx.

Daughter-Pa, dear, what is the diff
ference between accident and fate?
Pa-That buttons fly off n mans
clothes is accident. That mans wife
never sews them on is fate-Detroit
Free Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
Much PIea.nnter.

Prosperity has ruined many a man."
mo doubt. But if I'm given any
choice in the matter I'd rather be ruin
ed by prosperity than by adversely.
The process is more enjoyable."-Chi-
cago Post.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
One Drawback.

Hix-But you must admit that my in
tentions are good.
Dix-Oh, your intentions are all right.
but your executions are off color.-Chi-
cago News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
Food For Renection.

Clara-Why don't you get a new mir
ror. dear? This one gives horrible re-
Election.
Maude-That's queer. 1 have always
considered its reflective powers abso-
lutely perfect.-Baltimore News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
ExcIusiveness.

"Pauline is very exclusive. isn't sheT
"Oh. yes; quite. She never Introduces
an eligible man to any other GIRL
London King.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

heal person,

"Yes." says the philosophical person,
"wealth brings its disappointments"
"After we lose it." puts in the mate
realistic man.-Judge.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

Do nos neglect to keep your boots
polished You can always shine ut one
end, if you cannot at the other.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
NocturnaI InIestirator.

Husband-I have 81 more in my
pocket tonight than 1 had last night
Now guess how much have.
Wife-Seven dollars.-Chicago News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
The Renson.

rs your pa runnin' fer Officer"
Nav Somebody stole his wooden
leg."--Atlanta Constitution.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
I'M HousEcLEANINe TIME.

n REN may talk of their strenuous life,
kAfH But tits nothing to that of the wife
AVE- Who with soap, brush and.
broom,
Charges through every room,
Everywhere against dirt waging strife.
'Tis a season of struggles and woes &
when from attic to cellar she goes.
Making every place clean
Till no dirt can be seen
And not even n small dust speck shows.
From the carpets she hustles the tacks;
Down come curtains and pictures and
racks;
Then at walls she will rush
With a long handled brush,
Chasing dust from all corners apd cracks.
There are floors she must patiently scrub;
There are windows TO wash and to rub; -
Down the stairs on her knees - -
She will go by degrees. %.
Using water on them by the tub.
When the rooms have been all purified,
TO the cellar she bravely will stride; =
There with brush in her hand
She will make bold stand
Till the whitewash to walls is APPLIED.
Thus from rising to setting of sun. S
Till the task of housecleaning is done, =
Goes the vigilant wife -
In her strenuous life
And is happy DER triumph thus Won
But the man who so greatly is blessed
With a wife of such vigor possessed =
Makes the bluff he must work, ~
Yet he's playing the shirk 49,
And Is out somewhere taking n rest
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23
Ode to His
Wife.

Ode to His
Wife.
"John," said
the poets wife.
II am sorry to
inform you that
the lard is out.
Do write a lit
tie love song
and get some"
Lard for a
love son g."
groaned the po-
eft. 80 We gods,
How much is
the beo StlV lard
n pound :"-At-
laRta Constitu-
ton.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

'Is your furniture antiquep
''No; only old. New York World.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

The true art of memory is the art of
attentQn.-Johnson.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

"Hully gee, but I'm
o beaut, Here I've
gone an played hooky
from Sunday school,
an this is the day
that the tickets fer
the candy festival is
to be given outw
New York World.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-08-23

The Busybody.
THAT Mrs.
Bcaks doesn't
know her own
mind"
Perhaps not,
but she knows
e v e + y b o dy
else's."
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24
The Lnoting of Cuba

While we hear of the disruption of
the school system, the cutting off en-
ployes and salaries of American and
Cuban expert service in the depart
ments of hospitals, sanitation and
municipal engineering, we hear moth
ing of reductions i'm the salaries and
perquisites of the national and provin-
cial officiaries And the truth begins
to be patent that Cuba is in the hands
of her own cormorant SONS, who are
proceeding with all dispatch to loot her
revenues and destroy her properties
by their personal infidelIties and
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24

Attention is again attracted to WASH
ington's agricultural interests by fed
eral census bulletin, issued on the 7th,
which says: "There were on June /,
1900, 5000 farms in Washington state,
valued at Sll5, 400. 10. The farm inn
plements and live stock held on the
farms bring the total value of farm
property up to $l44, 040, 047. For the
previous year the farm products of the
state were valued at S34, 1927 ,495, of
which $50 $50, $50 represent the value
of crops grown and the remainder the
value of live stock disposed Of" A
comparison of these figures with the
statistics of the past two years, were
they procurable, would show still
more remarkable progress.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24

The Hon. VIM. Jennings Bryan,
erstwhile popocratic candidate for the
presidency, evidently believes that
Robert Burns gave utterance to an i'm
mortal truth when he observed that
at is hardly in a body's power
To keep at times frae being sour
To soc how things are shared"
William Jennings is SO averse to
breaking bread with Grover Cleveland
at the same table that it is strongly
suspected that he finds It impossible to
forgive the sage OF Princeton for hav-
ing been twice elected president by the
same people who have twice defeated
Bryan.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24

For the fiscal year ending July ! the
foreign export business of the Puget
Sound customs district reached the
splendid total of S33,559, 1913, as con-.
pared with S2l ,525 for 1901 and
ST., Ss4,7lS for 1900. During the same
time foreign imports aggregated SILL
$40, 799, against SO, 727 ,697 in 1901 and
$7,14S,563 in 1900, making total for
eign commerce for the district'of over
$45, 800, 900 and a gain over the previ-
ovs year of nearly Sls,OOO,000. Among
the principal commodities of local or
igin sent foreign were 1854, 172 BUSH
els of wheat. valued at $S,624,671; L.
2S4,029 barrels -four, valued at $685.
7SS, and l57, 629, 900 feet lumber, valued
at 81 ,6ll,79l
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24
No l24.-
ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE
In the Superior Court of the state of Washing
ton for San Juan County
IN PROBATE,

In the Superior Court of the state of Washing
ton, for San Juan County
IN PROBATE,
In the matter of the Estate OF Robert Douglas
Daniel Madden the surviving executor of the
estate of Robert Douglas, deceased, having on
the I'd day Of July, 1909, rendered and filed
herein full account and report of his admins
for final settlement, and having filed with said
account petition asking among other things
for the distribution of the residue of said estate
and for examination of said account, and it
the same be found true and correct, then for
the discharge ofthe executor and the release of
his bondsmen.
ested in the estate of said Robert Douglas de-
ceased, be and appear before the Probate de-
partnient of the said Superior Court at the
Court room Of said Court, at Friday Harbor. in
said county, on Saturday, the 9th day of August
A. ID. 1902, at O'Clock p. M of said day, as the
time and place set for fhe'hearing of said petit
ton and tor the examination of said account
then and thete to show cause, if any they have,
why settlement should not be made with said
executor and why an order should not be issued
for the distribution of the residue of said estate
in accordance with the conditions of testator's
will and the statutes in such cases made and
provided and the discharge of the executor and
release of his bondsmen.
1t is further ordered that copy of this order
be published for tour consecutive weeks before
the said 9th day of August, A. ID. 1902, i'll "The
San Juan Islander" weekly newspaper print
ed and published and in general circulation in
said San Juan county, and that notice of the
time and place of the hearing and settlement of
said account and petition be given by posting
up a copy Of this order. the same being good
and sufficient notice thereof, in three of the
most public places in said county of San Juan,
at least four successive weeks before the said
time appointed for said hearing and settlement
of said account
Done III open Court this July I'D, A. d. 1907.
GEO. A JOINER, Judge
W. H. Thacker, Attorney for Executor.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24
CONTEST NOTICE

Department of the Interior. United States Land
Office, Seattle, Was ington, June 10, 1902
A sufficient contest notice having been MED
in this Office by Charles Crawford, OF Friday
Harbor Washington, contestant, against home
stead entry No. i7.to7, made June aIst 1897, for
Lot 8, section 80. Township IS ~, Range w,
by Edward bowers. coutestee, in which II IS al
legged that the contestce has wholly abandoned
said tract of land and changed his residence
therefrom for period of time since filing there
on June 81, 1897, to the date of the hling OF the
complaint on March 81, 1907; that during all OF
said period he has failed to occupy, improve ana
cultivate the land in accordance with the re-
ouirements of the law: and by reason OF the al
legations contained i'll the complaint and same
being filed in this Office, said parties are noti-
fed to appear respond and offer evidence
touching said allegation at 10 o'clock a. m; on
August Q, 1909, before James Frankland, clerk
OF the Superior Court at Friday Harbor wash
ington, and that final hearing will be held al 10
O'Clock a. M on August Io, 1904, before the keg,
lister and Receiver at the United States Land
Office in Seattle. " ashington' a.
The said contestant having, in proper am
davit, filed June 10, 1904, set forth facts wnicn
show that after due diligence personal service
of this notice cannot be made. II Is nereoy or
dered and directed that such notice be given py
due and proper publication.
EDWARD p. TREMPER, Register.
First publication June 7o, I9o7 OF
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24

ship IS North, Range No. West Willamette
Meridian; thence South OH the One-sixteenth
Section line 100 feet to the County road thence
West so feet to the place of beginning; thence
West IS feet thence North 100 feet; thence East
as feet; thence South 100 feet to place of begin
ming.
All of which described lots, pieces and parcels
of land are situated and located i'll San Juan
county, state of Washington.
The terms and conditions of said sale are cash
in hand paid by the highest and best bidder.
The said interest said deceased had i'll said
estate and the interest of deceascd's estate in
said described real estate and the interest to be
sold hereunder, being an undivided interest.
Said sale to take place on Saturday, the 10th
day of July, A. d. 1902 at the hour of II O'Clock
III. of said day, at the front door of the comfy
Court House, at Friday Harbor San Juan coun-
ty, State of Washington.
PATRICK WEIGH,
Administrator of the Estate of (Mrs.) Frances
Marchand Deceased.
II. S. King Attorney for Administrator.
Date of first publication July 3, 1902. Cd
Date OF last publication July "a, 1902. G.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24
No Religion With Scabs

In Catholic church in Scranton
Sunday striker in the congregation
stood up and said he saw "scab'' in
the house and summoned all ''fair''
men to leave, Thereupon he left the
church and some sixty other union
men followed him. Thus 'organized''
labor lays its ban and interdict The
poor devil of a "scabr pollutes n church
by his presence, disturbs the sanctity
of the union. The ecclesiastical au-
thorities allow him to worship God
but the union chiefs will not sully
themselves by remaining in the same
edifice with him. No objection to
publicans and sinners, but really the
line must be drawn at "scabs." This
curious revival or creation of caste de-
serves the notice of anthropologists and
sociologists.- York Sun.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24

time for lack of sleep, as he was quoted
then as saying, 81 will never rest until
/ have run the fiends down. But the
land "where rolls the Oregon and hears
no sound save its own dashing" is a
restful region and it is suspected that
Mr.. Lee. content with having facili-
tated the emigration of the outlaws to
this state, has succnmbed to the drowsy
influence of the Salem atmosphere and
Elapsed into inocuous desuetude." At
any rate the echo of his tread upon the
warpath seems to have long since died
away.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

In the Superior Court Of the State oil washins-
ton for san Juan County.
IN PROBATE
In the matter Of the estate of Matilda douglas
deceased.
Notice is hereby given by the undersigned exc,
cutor of the last viii Of Matilda Douglas deceased
to the creditors of said deceased aud OF her estdte
and ali persous having claims against said De-
ceased. or against her estate, to exhibit them,
with the necessary VOUCHERS, within one year
from and after the 6rst publication OF TINS no
tice to the said executor at his residence N the
San Juan valley, ON san Juan island, near Fri-
day Harbor, San Juan county, state o. WISH
ineton, the same being the place for tne uan as
action of the business OF said estate ia sa'1
county.
Dated this I'D day of July. A d. 1902
ALFRED DOUGLAS, Executor.
w. H. Thacker, Attorney for the E<ssue".
First publication July 70 l9oo.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24

Washington came nearer getting the
recognition to which it was entitled
from the congress just closed than ever
before, and our present delegation is
receiving some we'll merited congratu-
lations upon their success in getting
next when the pie was being cut In
round numbers appropriations were
secured aggregating nearly 100000
of which 1912, 225 may be credited to
aids to commerce, Sl,l10,500 for the
naval station and $685. 900 for public
buildings and sites. With things prop
erly started, as they now appear to be,
there are pretty good indications that
congress will appreciate the fact that
this state has commercial needs that
will pay for development.-West Coast
Trade.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-24
Notice of Administrators Sale of Real
Estate

Notice is hereby given that in pursuance OF
an order of Court, issued by the Hon. Geo. A.
Joiner, Judge of the Superior Court OF the State
made on the Ist day of July, A. ID. 1907. in the
matter of the estate of (Mrs.) Frances March
and, deceased, the undersigned administrators
highest and best bidder for cash in hand paid
in lawful money of the United States, and sub
ject to confirmation by said Superior Court, all
the right, title interest and estate of the said
(Mrs) Frances Marchand deceased, at the time
of her death and all of the right. title and in
terest that the said estate has, by operation of
dition to that of said mrs. Frances Marchand,
deceased, at the time of her death, in and to ali
those certain lots, pieces or parcels of land stu-
ate lying and being in the county of San Juan,
state of Washington, aud particularly bounded
and described as follows. to-wit
Lot Two of Block Two in the village of Fri
cording to the town plat of said Friday Harbor,
San Juan county, Washington, which plat is
duly recorded in the auditors Office, of said
county. and to which plat reference Is hereby
especially made.
Also the following described real estate to.
wit:
Northeast corner of the Southwest Fourth of
the Northeast Fourth of Section "a, Township
IS North, Range No. ) West Willamette Nerd
ine ,oo feet to the County road; thence West 90
feet; thence North 100 teet thence East so feet
TO place of beginning.
Also the following described real estate to-
wit:
beginning a, feet South from the Northeast
corner of the southwest Quarter of the North
sast Quarter of section "a, Township IS North,
Range No. West Willamette Meridian; thence
south ON the one.sixteenth Section line All feet;
thence West an feet; thence North All feet;
thence East al feet to place of beginning, con-
tanning one acre.
: Also the following described real estate to-
wit
Beginning at point South sIr feet from the
Northeast corner Of the Southwest Quarter of
the Northeast Quarter Of said Section "a, town.