The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-02-07

"All the world loves a lover" Eyes,
except the gas companies."-Life.
PA, what are prejudices?" "Other
peoples opinions, my son."-Puck.
He-She always calls things by their
right names. She-What horrible name
did she call you?-Yonkers Statesman.
Snapshot Opinion.-Ned-Clara says
you are perfect gentleman. Fred
Why. she doesn't know me! Ned
That's what told her.-Smart Set.
Suggestion Promptly Adopted.-Can-
vasser-Don't let me disturb you, sir
- Busy AIerchant-I won't Will
lam. show the gentleman out.-Chica-
go Tribune.
why is it that powder factories pay
such high wages?' Because the EN-:
ployes are likely at any moment to be
blown up and thrown out of employ
ment." New York Sun.
"Waiter, I find I have just enough
money to pay for the dinner, but l
have nothing in the way Of tip for
yourself" Let me add up the bill
again, SIR Moonshine.
A Observation-Disclosures perfectly
your frock fits, dear. l thought you
college girls scared above such trihes.
Hypatia-Oh, no! We believe in the
survival Of the best fitted.-Life.
Discreet.-Jay-Yes. sir; when was
in New York a sharper robbed me of
fifty dollars. Hay-Why didn't you call
Il policeman? Jay-Well, thought
fifty dollars was enough.-Philadelph
Press.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Ito prisoner)-
Have you any visible means of sup
port? Prisoner-Yes, sir, your honor
Cro his wife, a Bridget
stand up so that the coort kin see yez.
-Tit-Bits.
After the Wedding.-The Countess
You've no idea how embarrassed the
count was when he proposed to me.
The Dear Friend-I heard it took con-
siderable of your fathers money to
pay his debts.-Judge.
Sage Advice: Manageable careful
not to make the plot of your novel too
complicated. Author-Why not? Man
ager-Well, you know before it is
dramatized the plot will all have to be
taken out of it.-Judge.
Gentlemen.-"You don't know how to
make love" sneered the Gentleman of
the Old School. NO." laughed the
Gentleman of the New School; IL leave
all that to the women! I have need
only to make moneyr-Life.
II throw myself upon your mercy"
sobbed the two-hundred pound heroine.
The villain sank beneath her weight.
Il now realize" he murmured, what
is meant by the power behind the
thrown" -Philadelphia Press.
1T isn't we'll to be too quick at solv-
ing q conundr um." mo" mo; once
l tried to find out what was the differ
ence between man and his wife fight
ing on the street, and they didn't do
thing to me. philadelphia Record.
In Spirit Land.-Tm glad I'm Dead"
said the shade of George Washington
to the wrath of Benjamin Franklin.
'Why, my liege?' IF l were alive,
they might court-martial me for COM
polling CORVALLIS to surrender
Town Topics.
Excited Citizen-1 want man ar
rested right away! I've been assault
ed, and l wasn't doing thing but
walking along the street in a quiet, or
derby and inoffensive manner, and
whistling. e-Um-er-what tune
were yol wh.stling?
Henry, how is the plot of that sea
novel running?' ''Well, just at this
chapter there is terrible storm, and
the passengers are afraid the boat will
80 to the top" "You mean to the bot
TOM" "No; this is a submarine boat"
Philadelphia Record.
Gifts should be accepted thankfully
but not too curlously. An amateur poet
found himself in sad quandary. II
don't know what to Think" he said;
last year on my birthday Ella gave
me a pencil to write poems with, and
this year she has given me a silver
mounted eraser"
Ordinary Tears.-Old Gentleman
Why do you shed such bitter tears, my
boy? Boston Child causing in his
tears)-Really, I can not conceive that
MY tears differ as to their brackish
quality from other lachrymose ennis
sons. l have never heard of sacchar-
inc tears.-Philadelphla Press.
How He Works It.-Jones-How on
earth does Bluffem manage to get
credit for his clothes at that swell tai
lor's? Browa-The tailor found out
that he lived at the Hotel Magnificent.
Jones-But how does he manage to
carry it off with the hotel people?
Brown-I suppose they judge him by
his clothes.-Tit-Bits.
Him. exclaimed Mr. Goldie, after
reading his morning post, ''that boys
college education is making him too
smart" "What's the matter?' asked
Mrs. Goldie. Il wrote to him the other