The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-05-21

'er niger at 'er lection. Bill knew
when he got to sweatin' he wouldn't
smell good enough to stay in COM
papy, so he asked two or three fellers
who were loafn' round watin' fur the
grub to be set out, to 90 up the creek
'er piece and have 'er swim. They
was willin' and when they got bend
in ther creek short distance from
tber fish fry they commenced to
shuck ther clothes. Bill be pulled
off everything 'cep'in' bis shirt, then
sot down on 'er log to cool off: Thar
wus 'er yaller jackets nest in the log
and the bulge of Bill Bates anater-
my was kiverin' the hole to the nest,
and while Bill sot thar the yaller
Jackets held 'er convershuu or suthin'
of the kind and made up ther minds
that they wus goin' ter raise ther
blockade. I guess everybody knows
that your don't have to spit in 'er
Jackets face to make him mad
cause ther insect is born mad and
dies in ther same fix. While Bill
was roostin' on ther log, scratchin'
and 'er coolin' of himself the yaller
Jackets riz in their wrath and Bill
be riz with 'em. They lifted him like
q torpeder; and when he hit ther
ground he wuz bleatin' lounder'n 'er
bull calf, and 'er hundred yaller
Jackets wuz under his shirt, spurrin'
him in ther tanks, and maxim him
buck over ground like an unbroken
stud. He clawed at his shirt and
yelled to the boys to come and help
him knock ther darned things of,
but the boys laid down behind logs
and told him they warn't no burned
fools. Well, ther yaller jackets kept
poppin' ther spurs to him first on
one side, then on t'other till Bill got
sortor crazy, and he skedaddled down
ther creek, headin' square for ther
fish fry. Sue Parker with lot of
other gals and 'er parcel of galoots
wuz up the road pickin' blackberries'
and when they suddenly heard ther
all fredst yellin' and snortin' and
ther next minute thar waz Bill Bates
galloppin' past them Eastern scared
cayote and tryin' his level best to
drag his only remain garment over
his head. Their gals weakened on
ther first glimpse and made 'er break
for the bush, scresmin' and askin'
what it wuz, kinder inherent like, as
if they didn't know, and ther fellers
who wuz ga'lantin' 'em turned sorter
red in the face and said they guess
somebody's horse broke loose some
where up the creek and that they
had better 60 up and help cotch ther
anermal. In no time tber whole fish
fry wuz talkin' of Bill Bates's scan
derlous actions, and Aunt Dorothy
Briggs said it was a burnin' shame,
and said be oughter be hung, but
Widder Bullock said his daddy wuz
took down with ther ianders 'afore
Bill wuz born, and she thought in
sanity wuz in Bills blood, considerin'
as how she had often notice curious
look in his eye. Their thing wuz
talked about all o,er ther neighbor-
hood and Bill writ to Sue Parker ex-
plainin' how it happened but she
said he was disgraced in the whole
community and she didn't want
nothin' to do with him. Bill also
heard it talked around that her folks
said they'd put the dogs on him if
he ever come nigh ther house again
and feelin' bad over it, he jined Pete
Jennings herd and went up ther
Kansas trail. That's why Bill and
Sue Parker never married."