Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1902-07-17
WESTERN VIEW OF OZONE.
The Mistake of a Man from Ohio Who
Thought He Smelt the Atlantic
Sea BreeZes.

III !" IA bHN ShNN N'N
ering an encomium on the invigorat-
ing properties of ocean breezes.
The minute / get in the neighbour
hood of the Atlantic" he said, Il feel
like a new man. Even when away back
in Jersey | catch delicious whitfs of the
salt breeze, and it acts like a tonic
on my system and dispels the sluggish
ness that always creeps upon me dur
ing my trips inland. You folks may
dose yourselves as much as you like
with patent medicines and doctors
giIt-edged prescriptions, but as for
me, just let me go down to the sea
shore and breathe in the salt air,
and I'll warrant hat I'll be all toned
up before you even get a spoonful of
your nauseous connection measured
out"
The man who had been losing money
listened with undisguised disgust to
these enthusiastic praises of the At
lantic ocean in the capacity of family
physician, says the New York Times.
I've heard all that tommyrot a
good many times before" he said.
When | was a boy back in Ohio | used
to hear it from people who had made
a memorable trip to New York at
some remote period and set them
selves up as an authority on all the
beneticent influences of the metrop-
oils and vicinity. A breeze from the
ocean is the elixir of life said a spir-
tied old gentleman one day, in my
hearing, and | being chock full of Curl
osity, asked him what salt water
smelled like.
"'Ah,' said the old gentleman, it is
fragrant as the spices of Araby.'
Now, my knowledge of Araby and
its scents was not one of my strong
points. The only kind of spice we
used at our house was nutmeg, and
that was hardly fragrant enough to
be taken as a criterion of all oriental
odors. However, l supposed that Ara
bian scents and consequently Atlantic
sea breezes must be particularly pleas
ant to the nostrils, and when | final
ly got ready for my maiden trip to
New York one of my chief concerns
was the salt air. ,
mo sooner had we left Philadel-
phia than l began to sniff like an i'm
patient w%arhorse, so eager was / to
smell the widely advertised ocean
breeze. 1t was an evening in early
May, and the country we passed
through was fresh and green. Still,
even all this springtime verdure failed
to give to New Jersey meadows u
fragrance more pronounced than had
been remarked further west, and I
knew we had not yet got within range
of the sea breeze.
Not until we had passed Elizabeth
did my nose apprise me of the prox-
unity of the sea. Then, all of a sud
den there burst upon my nostrils the
%anxiously awaited odor. There was
no installing it. 1t was sweet, it was
l~angunrous, it was Intoxicating, if
such a description is not paradoxical.
l understood then why all travellers to
the east had been able to distinguish
it and to revel in it the minute they
came within the dominions of the sea
breeze. l, too. wished to do justice
to this wonderful elixir, and, turning
to the mar next me, ! said:
"'I have always wondered at the en-
thusiasm with which travellers speak
of the salt air, but | wonder no
longer. Why, even a tenderfoot born
and bred in the west can tell the diff
ference the minute he enters its zone.'
"The man stuck his head out of the
vindow and shifted suspiciously. +
1on't smell it yet, he said. I hardly
think we are near enough to the
coast @.
81 looked at him pityingly. Don't
smell it" | said. why, man, where
is your nose? You don't have to stick
your head outdoors to smell it. Even
the car is redolent with it,
"The man lay back in his seat then
and roared. You poor young green
horn he said. Did you take that for
the scent of the ocean breeze? Great
heavens, don't you know what that is?
It's hair oil that that fellow up in the
corner has been dabbling all over his
head"