The National tribune., 1902-10-09
KITCHENER IN SOUTH AFRICA.
Some Characteristic Anecdotes Told of tn
Returned British Commander.

The recent return Of Lord Kitchener to
England has resulted in the publication Of
a wealth of interesting anecdotes in the
English papers, which reveal the true
! character Of the man, and go to prove
that he is not altogether the cold, calcu-
which some writers would have US be-
lieve. number Of the anecdotes have
been collected by the Argonaut.
Here is story which pictures him in
whimsical and unexpected light: Young
Lieut. Maxwell, Kitchener's A. d. c., one
day picked up the chiefs gilt-edged staff
cap, and was holding forth to a party of
friends, when Lord Kitchener, who was
in the next room, missed the cap.
Through the open door he perceived the
reason of its absence. Without word
he picked up Maxwelps plumed head
dress, put it on his own head, and walked
into the room, saying, Maxwell, how
should l have done for Roberts's horse?"
That Kitchener has no patience with
inefficiency, is proved by the story of the
private in the Royal Engineers, who one
day reported himself i'll and unfit for duty.
The medical officer Of the corps examined
him, decided that the man was malinger-
ing, and ordered him back to duty.
Against this there was no appeal The
soldier returned to his work, which was
preparing planks for temporary bridge
H..
said so to the Sergeant.
Why not lay the case before Lord
Kitchener said the Sergeant; 'he is in
the office now"
"Oh, 1 dare not" replied the man; "he
is too stand-off and cold"
We'll, if you are afraid, I'll do it my
SELF" and he did.
"Order the man here at once" said the
Commander-in-Chief, without looking up,
land also Drs Y and X"
Each Of these he made examine the pa
tient in his presence. They both reported
typhoid in a marked stage.
Send for DR.. H." slowly muttered
Lord Kitchener.
"Please, DIR. H., examine this man care
fully; he is either i'll or malingering."
DIR. u. performed the commanded task
and nervously said "Sir, l fear have
made a mistake; this man is in the early
stages of typhoid"
Have this man at once removed to the
hospital" Kitchener exclaimed; "and you
sir, apply to the Adjutant for your papers,
and at your earliest convenience return to
England"
1t is related that once an officer, after
struggling vainly to get an artillery train
through roads that were almost rivers of
mud, came to Kitchener and said: at Is
no use, General; we are so deep in mud
that We cannot move our heavy guns, an
OtucI Hlie, duu tuc DUETS Will get them
for certain"
Kitchener looked at this worn-out and
discouraged officer for a moment, then
quietly said: go on with your work, but
don't forget that the mud is not only clog
ging our wheels, it is clogging the Boer
wheels as WELL"
His scathing sarcasm is we'll illustrated
by the reply he is said to have sent to the
leader of q not ,over-successful column.
This officer had several slight engage
ments with the enemy, mainly consisting
Of finging a few shells at them at long
range. After each engagement he wired
to the Commander-in-C Chief substantially:
During action several Beers seen to drop
from their saddles"
Lord Kitcheners rule was that only those
actually gathered" should be counted.
He soon thought of q remedy, and sent
back to the officer this polite telegram: "I
hope when they fell they did not hurt
themselves"
On another occasion certain noble
man, whose son was serving in the yeo-
many, and who had a large idea of his
own importance, sent this wire: "Please
allow my son to return at once; urgent
family reasons" Kitchener answered it
laconically: "Son cannot return at all;
urgent military reasons"
A dandy officer, who had an unfortun-
ately effeminate taste in trifes, came to |
Kitchener one day, bringing dainty silk
handkerchief upon which, in accordance
with prevailing fashionable fad, he de-
sired him to inscribe his autograph. Lord |
Kitchener took the handkerchief, and re-
marked: This is doubtless your sisters |
handkerchief
"No," replied the dandy, smiling amia-
bly,, 'it is mine"
Lord Kitchener handed it back without |
writing on it, only inquiring as he did SO,
with an air of serious interest: "And |
what sized hair-pins do you wearY'
Col. Morgan, who was the Director of |
Supplies, is credited with having once |
given the mighty Kitchener reply which |