The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-09-04
KURNEL BUNKER
He Tells of His Misunderstanding
With Governor Calhoun.

He Tells of His Misunderstanding
With Governor Calhoun.
1T all arose from a MISUNDERSTANDING.
sub, or a series of Observation-Disclosures
said Kurnel Bunker OF the Five Hun
dredth infantry as he slowly slipped his
cocktail on the hotel 1veranda- Il was
sitting in this very spot one day talking
of wah with Majah Handy when Gov
ernor Calhoun came along and sat down
to listen Mighty GOOD man the COVER
nor is, but he's powerful ignorant on
matters of wah. I was telling the majah
how led my regiment at Fair Oaks
when the governor chips in and says:
i" Excuse me. kurnel. but I don't ex-
actly comprehend. Yo' advanced upon
the enemy?'
I'VE did. subj
Were yo' riding in a carriage?'
No. subj
while yo' were advancing did yo'
stop anywhere to take a drink
No. suh.'
when 20 were ready to charge. yo'
made an address to yo'r men?'
g "A fervid address. suh.'
" In that address did yo' advise them
to split pair of kings to draw to
flush in game of poker?'
Governor Calhoun says I as !
turns on him, is it yo'r intention to in
suit me? If SO, sub, will send a
friend to yo' to arrange meeting for
sunrise
The governor assured me that MOTH
ing was further from his thoughts, and
he begged pardon if he had ruff1ed my
feelings, and we had a cocktail together
and parted friends. 1t was scarcely two
weeks later, however. when happened
in the cotehouse one day and met Cap
tain Stains of the Tenth. The captain
and Isfell to talking about the battle of
Malvern Hill, and I was describing to
him how 1 was ordered to take my regf-
meat and charge battery when Cover.
nor Calhoun came along and listened
for minute and then said:
'Kurnel, were there many Yankees
behind the guns?
AT least 5000, suh.' 7 replied.
g Did they have muskets?'
| "'Of co'se they did,
Were they mad?'
L reckon they were
And bound to shoot?
Bound to shoot, suh.'
land wasn't it forlorn hope send
| ing 1000 men against SCOOP
Certainly. sub. There was every
chance that we should all be wiped
| out
But did yo', Kurnel Bunker he goes
on-'did yo', when you realized how
| desperate the situation was. make the
| Yankees cash offer to turn their backs
and walk off and let yo' capture these
cannon?'
| Governor Calhoun says as got
my breath and advanced upon him. a
| gentleman will wait upon yo within
| an hour to arrange for meeting on
| the field of honah.'
|
he would select pistols as the weap-
ons, but he volubly assured me that I
| had misunderstood his language and
had no cause to challenge. He was so
| earnest that / had to believe him and
| adjourn to saloon for drink. 1t
| may have been a week later. but not
mo- than that. when I met Majah
| Tinkham at his gate one afternoon. 1t
| was just such day as when we fought
the battle of Groveton.- and we got to
| speaking about it. At the battle of
| Groveton, sub. I had the honah of
| picking up a shell that was about to
burst in the ranks Of my regiment and
| throwing it into a pond of water. The
| majah had heard of my heroism, but
| wanted full particulars. and was Civ
ing them to him when Governor Cal
| houn came along and said:
'Kurnel Bunker, was that the only
shell yo saw that day2'; .#
NO. sub, saw dozens of them ss
Were they worth anything in
".They cost from IS to SIS apiece.
suh' 81
land did yo' know that the Yam
KEGS were going to fire emp
I "'Of co'se-
Then, sub, I cannot speak in favor
of your business acumen. A man with
| a business head on him would have
had a mewl cart and a bari of water
along and dropped the shells into the
water and saved 'em as fast as they
came along u ,.z.=e
Governor Calhoun says I as ]
steps back to look him up and down.
'yo' may select swords or pistols as
on the field of honah within twenty-fo
l 10 he third