The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1902-02-27
Old S1ouch's
Dilemma


prided himself On being the champion
long-distance author of the world. 1t
was his proud boast that he had once,
written two complete and hair raising
novels of about 100000 words each
within the space of six working days,
and he was won't to aver with conf
dence that he could repeat the per-
formance with one hand tied behind
him.
He was known to tens OF thousands
Of youthful readers of red, yellow and
pink fiction as "Old Slouch,' and he
wrote of strange and weird happen
ings in strange and weird places in q
manner yet more strange and weird.
Old SLOUGH had started life as a
printers devil" in the Office of the
Fireside Reflector, but he was am
bilious and soon became an Office boy.
Then he took to night school and made
such progress in the three "R's" that
his culture was recognized in due time
! By an advance to the position of copy
reader, in which capacity he was called
upon to read several million words
from the accomplished pen Of "Cali-
fornia Charlie" who was at that time
the mainstay of the fiction department
Of the Reflector.
His chance came one night when a
messenger arrived in hot haste from
the lodgings of California Charlie" to
report that the gifted author was un-
! able to finish the concluding INSTALL
ment Of his thrilling novelette, en-
titled: "Three-Fingered Steve; or.
The Cowboys Curse" for the reason
thst he was greatly incommoded by
the presence in his room of three pink
and-blue zebras with yellow polka
dots and six old-gold lizards with
purple tails.
The editor was in despair, for the
Reflector must go to press in six hours,
until the new copy reader volunteered
to finish the story from the point
where the lizards had so incontinently
Interrupted it. This he was allowed to
90, and he accomplished his task with
such success that when, few months
later, California Charles acquaint-
anceship with reptiles and such land
Cd him in the incurable ward the fu-
ture Old Slouch stepped easily and
gracefully into his place.
Probabilities never hampered Old
olonch. What his readers wanted were
improbabilities, nor would they even
oaik at an occasional impossibility,
which was just as well. In the most
successful of his works, a tale of ro-
nance and adventure entitled: "Wick-
g Bill; or, The Dauntless Hero of
Moody Gulch," the talented author
anded his people on the rocky shores
u one OF the FIJI islands, shipwrecked,
starving. and defenseless. Up rushed
: oand OF cannibals bent on a good
meal Did they get it? "Over my dead
eody, said Old SLOUGH to himself and
be wrote:
II so CHANGED that our hero had
once known a Fiji islander in San
francisco and from him had learned
.0e language of those parts. He there.
sore addressed the leader of the band
= 'ne vernacular. Amazement seized
.ne savage cannibals. They dropped
Weir cruel weapons, grasped Bills
eorny hand. and hailed him as broth
e They were saved!"
nut with assured success languor
Sssr'ook Old SLOUGH. Only when he
penniless could he be induced to
~'i'e, and that was why he sat one May
so1n'ng with his feet upon the win
WV sill, looking out over the neigh
;ng cnimney pots, although he had
sssI received an urgent demand for the
NJ chapters of "Shivering Sara; or,
as Counterfeiter's Stratagem." He
- 20 cents in his pocket. Why should
eioil? Why. indeed?
was at this moment that he had a
~ from his friend Jake Mosenthal.
anose father ran pawnshop around
;ass rs corner. He often took delight in
a.l'ng OF the guile,ess how it could
,I. .aa' Jake's father was his uncle, al
,aoagh he himself was not related to
d. 49, Jake had a holiday and he was
;.l'ne a sailing party. A friend of
= nag loaned him catboat that lay
- ieW miles up the sound, and
.1u ois sister were going to take