The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-24
A JUSTICE COURT IDYL..

Building there hung a framed ana glazed
document inscribed, sealed and festOOned
with ribbons. proving that he had been
admitted TO the bar and was therefore
theoretically if not effectively in actual
practice His admission thus far had op-
Grated much like a standing-room-onl
ticket TO a popular show. He had never
gotten anywhere near the front row and
the avenues to glory were blocked with
the camp chairs OF an overcrowded
house
Lawyer Pidge. being young. swore TO
| himself many I time and oft that the
ethics OF his profession were of more i'm
portance than the earnings Therefore he
resolved never to stOop 10 the vulgar.
cheap or tricky articles of so many
struggling barristers. The justice court
spelled disgrace 10 his lofty estimate OF
his calling. and he made Up his mind
that he would famish n indomitabie idle
ness or 90 back baffled but undefeated
10 his old home in Cameo, Iowa, rather
than sink TO the low level Of a Justice
shop-attorney.
For these and other reasons which are
doubtless familiar 10 many aspiring young
cOunselors who are not exactly at law,
AIr. Pidge's practice consisted in wearing
shiny Prince Albert coat, low-quarter
shoes, a black SLOUGH hat and sOmber
string tie. Sometimes he would borrow
some books from Judge Kelso's Office
and walk around the block carrying them
under his arm. At others he would dash
into court as If in great haste. sit for
few moments well forward, running his
long fingers through his Henry Clay
name, and then quickly edge his way
out. nodding right and left 10 imaginary
acquaintances. Then back to his little
8 by 10 office, where a dingy and unduIous
mirror invited him to thrust his hand
into the bosom Of his coat and stand
frowning at his own image as he waved
his long left arm in impassioned but i'm
aginary pleadingS for life or property
Of that favored client who was yet TO be
Pidge was six months behind with his
rent before the brutal landlord descended
ike a wolf on the fold. He quivered with
what he called righteous indignation
when he found that he was hauled into
justice-shop ard must perforce descend
thither ike the fallen son Of morning.
IN his extremity he went to Judge Kelso
but that learned friend was too busy
TO defend him.
Try the case yourself" suggested the
Pidge."
with the forlorn face of injured inno-
cence Pfdge explained that ne would never
sully his spOtless name by adjuring that
unspeakabIe travesty upon the majesty
of the bench--the justice of the peacei'
That's the way Pidge put il. Oh. he was
the very refinement of high ideals
Judge Kelso looked at him a minute,
and then saiu
You want to win, don't your"
Pidge allowed that it would ruin him
TO be hurled out OF his chamber like a
disgraced maIefactor.
Then, I'll tell you what to do Go
down TO Dan longs office and give him
the case. He'll get you out of your trou-
bic, and maybe he'll give you a new idea
about justice court practice He's a bird.
If you hire Dan you can't lose
So Pidge FASTENED to Lawyer longs Of
fee and found that luminary wallowing
. IN a surf of plush cushions The air was
laden with the mingled odors of Havana
smoke and hot Scotch and the master of
the sumptuous place looked as prosperous
and as self-satisfied as a corporation at
torney.
All right. sport" yawned Tong when
the case was stated, don't worry no
mere. Wen git a jury and hand this
landlord o yourn a stiff one right in the
solar plexus."
Poor Pidge, wincing under the combined
influences of so much luxury and bad
English. let ont few feelers calcuted
TO elicit an idea of how Tong proposed to
go about it, but Tong waived him away
your line. just reach over to that book
case an pour yourself some booze. No?
Have a cigar. then"
Pidge. with his coat collar turned Ut in
an effort TO disguise himself, was in court
an hour before his landlords attorney
appeared to prosecute him. Tong hadn {
arrived when the case came up and the
jurymen sitting in row, were hobnob-
bling together Ike many tobacco-chew-
ing cronies.
Wonder where's Dan Tong?r asked
one; seen him today, BiI?"
"Oh, Danll show up" answered the
other juryman. Seen him an hour ago
over to Moran's. He had a load fur yer
life then.
The jury enjoyed this exchange. while
Pidge, scared into 4 pallOr. rushed ont 10
find his lswyer- In i've minutes he was
back. haggard, excited. looking like a
condemned felOn. His enemy. the land
lord. and one or two other witnesses
( were there Tho judge opened the case.
The jury chewei and spat and paid no
attention. Il was all done so quickly
that poor Pidge was almost expecting to
hear his death sentence. wheu--glory OF
glories-Dan Tong. his attorney, came ca
reening into the dirty room. He was so
drunk that Pidge's heart failed him. but
he edged over TO the chair into which
Tong collapsed and whispered:
For GCds sake. Mr.. Tong, do some
thing. The evidence is all in. It's your
turn
Turn fer what?' sputtered the Woody
nan of law.
For argument You're going to make
an argument aren't you? You've got TO
make an argu-
Tong stumbled to his feet. pulled ont
his watch stared stupidity at it, smote the
railing with mighty blow and roared:
arg ment n0thin. Your honor and
gemmen O. IN jure, they amt no room
fr arg ment."
he put his watch close UP TO his moist
eve and. turing TO the jury, said in the
most loving tones:
Seer. feilers. hic, II give you jest
Eve min'tcs L fetch in yer verhicdic.
Seq"
Then he sprawIec back into his seat
In five minutes the jury vas back with
verdict for Pidge, but when that tri-
umphant litigant looked for his attorney
Tong was missing.
The next day Pidge got bin Ike
this:
Harold smithson Pidge.
To DANIEL TONG. DIT
To professional services in Haskins vs.
Fl1gc ----...... VI
To expenses account jury .-..-.--...-... >
Lotal so
please remit. JOHN II. RAFTERY.
Certainly Explanatory.
From the Cairo tEgy-pp SPHINX
4 frierd of wine Greek professor
who runs over here Tor his holidays, IS
with Us now lie got ovsr-excited the
srfa