davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
She Didn't Want Any.

Mrs. Everby-"But WHAT'S all this
talk about woman's rights?"
The Professor-"It's an effort to
place woman and man on an equality"
Mrs Everby-"Eut what's woman
done that she should be brought down
after that fashion? No, sir; don't
want anything to do with your wo'
mans rights"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Detected.

HeIlock Sholmes took up the sub
ject of the burglary boldly.
You say" he remarked, that the
thief stole Miss Smartleigh's gioves?"
Yes" said the lady OF the house
lone pair of gloves"
HIM" mused the famous detec-
tive. 1T is as suspected! He robbed
her right and left
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
choice of Two Evils.

distracted Wife-"I'm going to the
dentists to have this tooth out. Just
mind the baby till l come back.
Husband with alacrity )-"fon mind
the baby. Jeanne: III go and get
tooth pulled out!
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
PerfectlX Correct.

A gentleman was one day visiting
a friends house, and while strolling
in the garden came across his little
boy, and, speaking to him, said:
well my little man, how old are
you?"
The child answered Give
And what are you going to be?'
six"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
NO Help at All.

"You will marry tall. dark gentle
man" said the fortune teller, exainin-
ing the lines in the fair hand.
THAT doesn't help me, despalTlns
ly replied the lovely blonde VINO mad
called to consult her. AL three OF
them are tall and dark
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Had Him About Right.

Clara-"Half the time he says he
doesn't know whether l love him or
not. about one-quarter he hopes that
do, and - rest he thinks l may
and in addition he is nearly always
utterly miserable.
Maud-"Well, I'm glad you're MAX
ing such a success of the affair"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02

certajn AdyantaQeS.

Robbie-Aiu't yer vaccination near
ed up yet?
James-Naw.
Robbie-Gee. Don't it make yer
feel bad?
James-Naw. The doctor told
MON I mustn't take a bath till 1t was
all healed up.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
s,.mese Musical instrument.

The Siamese have an instrument
which they call the ranat. species
of harmonicon, with seventeen differ
ent wooden keys, united by cords and
resting upon stand. each "trip Of
wood giving different note. The in
strument is played with two wooden
hammers.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
The Lease was Signed.

But the parlor is so awfu1ly small.
said the prospective tenant
Yes, and the parlors in the adjoln'
ing houses are just as small replied
the agent. That's the beauty OF 1t.
That's not much comfort for me.
"Oh, yes Your see. neither OF your
ne,ehbors has room for piano.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
A Fair Proposition.

Merchant-If we employ you 1t must
be understood that we are to charge
YOU for all the mistakes you make.
Applicant-That's all right, you'll
reward me for all the mistakes don't
make.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
2es>veen Friends.

Biggs--Ny wife asked me for money
again last light
Diggs- -Pshaw! That's nothing to
the bump got this morning.
BigZs-How' that?
Digxs-I asked my wife for money
and sle hadn't any to give me.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
lanGuaq

Its wonderful" said the med1tative
man. "how one small word, insignit1-
cant in itself, may induce an endless
train oi thought, speaking volumes in
fact
"Yes," replied the caustic man.
"Take the word but for instance
when a. woman says: OF course It's
none of my business, but"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
One Reason.

Briggs-Wonder why they call those
designs on stockings "clocks?"
Griggs-Because watches are set by
them, perhaps.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Not aLancuaae tor Boosters.

Somebody has discovered that Ju-
Inns Caesar didn't talk much about his
campaigns.
But then perhaps. julie was little
ashamed of the imperfections OF his
Latin.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Not His Fault.

How did your weather prediction
turn oAlt?"
"The prediction was all right" an
swered the prophet, a little sternly.
but somehow or other the weather
went wrong again"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Could Sympatnize.

Hoiack-Heres an account OF how
a man wrote love letter and got
into trouble by it.
Tomdik-I can sympathize with that
fellow. That's how l happened to get
married.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
The Probabilities.

"1 hear you're going to file a claim
against the city"
"Yes: and after I've filed 1t sup
pose the jury will chop it and saw
and shave it down to nothing
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
wbat He Was Looking For.

Agent-Here. sir. is book that
should be in every family. 1t contains
a receipt for everything, sir-every-
thing.
Cholly-Give me three copies. II
it has receipt for my tailor's Dill ~
take Ave.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Sympathy.

Mrs. Call-How do you like your
new servant girl?
Mrs Hiram Offcn-Well, she's very
sympathetic.
Mrs. Calls she?
Mrs. Hiram Offen-Tes, every time
I complain OF headache she declares
she has one, too.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
Time for a New Job.

Mickey-Wot made yer quit yer Job,
Jimmie?
Jimmie-Cos de boss had record
of oil mo relaI,ons wot died last sum
mer, an he wouldn't let me use any oA
EN- over again. If | don't git ne"
i0h can't see no ball Sanes.-LudSe'
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
4 Cheerful GiVer.

And aren't you going to give your
oennv for the poor heathen? asked
tho sunday school teacher, reprovinS'
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
The Finish.

Tess-Has your family made any
plans for the summer yet?
Jess-Wen, ma says We'll take
cottage at Newport for July aNd An
gust.
Tess-How about september!
Jess-Pa says We'll have to take
what we can get then--at the aims
house.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02
THE HUMOR OF LIFE.
MERRY JEsTs TURNED SUIT Gf
THE OFFICIAL FUNMAkERs.

Was Willing to Divide the Chewing
Gum-Knew How the Estate Wouio
Be Divided-BIamed the Elephants
for the Quality Of Ivory.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02

A mans reach should exceed his
grasp, or what's heaven for?-Robert
Browning.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02

Visitor to Jail--Why are you here?
Prisoner Ga pickpocket)-l am here
as a result of moment OF abs.rac-
tion.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02

"On, l s'pose," replied little Bohbie,
as he held it out reluctantly, IL you
think tley need it wurse'n | do.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02

Teacher-Are you chewing gum!
Boy-Yes, ma am.
Teacher-Give it to me!
Boy-No, l won't. III give you nal1.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-07-02

!; !; !: !; J: 3: : :
HE so-called parallels OF
! IN history have afforded op-
portunities for much anus
ing and instructive specula-
! ton on the part of historical
x - writer's, and these some
times remarkable coinci-
dences of events, though not
infrequently they are more fanciful
than real, have given rise to the Quasi
automatic saying that history repeats
itself.
When, early in April, 1893, news was
received of the execution of Louis
XVI, and that the French republic
had declared war against England,
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
How High Birds Fly.

The height to which different birds
attain in their flight has often been
the subject Of dispute, especially
among sportsmen. From observations
lately made in Germany it would ap-
pear that the higher fiier, as has al
ways been supposed, is the eagle.
This bird was seen at a height Of s..
coo yards.
Crows also fly very high. though not
TO be compared with the king of birds,
the greatest heights at which aero
nauts have encountered them being
l,4O0 yards. The lark, says the Lon
don Country Life, which is usually
supposed to reach great heights, in
reality only scars to about 1000 yards
above the ground. while pigeons
which were allowed to escape at alti-
tudes between 900 yards and 1900
yards, quickly descended TO lower re-
gions OF the air.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
CALIFORNIA; VENUS.
SHOT AND KILLED BY HER
LOVER, WHO COMMITTED
SUICIDE.

San Francisco, Oct. 22.-Marian
Nolan, 8 young woman who became
famous on the Pacific coast in 1888 as
1.-THE California Venus, was shot aud
killed last night by Edward Mar
schultz, who then sent bullet through
his own brain. the man accompanied
the woman to her home, and when
they reached the steps they were quar-
reling. Miss Nolan ordered him to
leave her presence, and he declared
that she should listen to what he pur-
posed to say. She thereupon struck
him with her umbrella and he drew a
revolver and killed her.
Marschutz then killed himself. The
quarrel was the outcome Of love
affair OF long duration. Miss Nolan
attained western fame just prior TO
the Chicago Worlds Fair, when she
won a beauty contest to determine the
most perfectly formed woman in Cali
fornia, and a statue was modelled &C
cording to her figure. She later APP
peared on the stage in small parts.
Msrschutz was stenographer.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
PROBLEMS
OTHER
Continued from first page)

ing, October 80, and that the issues
which eliminated in the strike should
be referred for adjustment to the COM
mission appointed by the president Of
the United Safes.
We are authorized by the executive
officers of Districts /, land o, to eau
tion all those who resume work to ex-
ercise more than usual care in order
that accidents to life and limb may be
averted. Owing TO the condition Of
the mines after an idleness of five
months there will be great danger
when work is resumed. We are
prompted to offer this advice by the
fact at the close of the strike two years
ago many more accidents and deaths
occurred than take plroe when the
mines are operating regularly.
JOHN MITCHELL,
President Mine Workers of America
W. B. WILSON,
Secretary Treasurer.
Aoceptances have been received by
President Roosevelt from all the mem.
bers of the arbitration commission.
Each one has indicated that he will
be at the preliminary session Friday.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
An Anne rican Girl Did Not Desire 10
Become Wife 30l
Shaw Of Persia Wanted Her to Go
Back and Join the Pro.
cession.
GAVE HER FINE PRESENTS

A dispatch from Paris says the shah
of Persia has fallen in love with q fair
American girl and asked her to become
one Of his wives. One would think he
had quite enough already. But no,
"the King of Kings" has suooumbed
to the charms Of Miss Courtney Thorn
as-or Mile. Courtney as she rs known
on the concert stage in Paris-and he
has PROSTATE himself at her feet, her
abject slave.
And this is how it all happened:
His majesty, accompanied by his
suite, attetended q performance at the
Opera Comique and was delighted be-
yond expression, not only with the
voice of tine young singer, but with her
personality, for at the moment Mile.
Courtney is one Of the most beautiful
women in Paris. Tall, straight, with
an exquisitely nodded figure and ra-
ven black hair and brilliantly dark
eyes, hers is beauty that may stand
all tests. She was invited to sing
before him in private and she COM
piled, completing her conquest of the
royal Oriental. AS token of his
pleasure he clasped upon her arm an
exquisite souvenir bracelet, composed
of Persian canoes surrounded by en-
eralds and pearls. This brought on
more music, and the shah said;
"a bracelet Of trifes that have
Just given you is not enough for your
voice like a nightingale, and your hair
which has mo Of the glorious black
than any in n ewn nation. Come,
come, come b with me to my own
country. will ,ke you my wife. "
The shah already, as far as the lat
est statistics can be ascertained. in
GLIDING the wives allowed him by his
religion, has 800 recipients of his ia
vors in his sersglio. Mile. Courtney,
it may be assumed, in her embsrrass-
ment, said in French, which she
speaks very cleverly; II will always
be a sister to you, sir, but the relig-
ion of my country oompels me to re-
fuse the distinguished honor Of being
your royal consort."
And so it was that Miss Courtney
Thomas threw away one of the chauc-
es Of her life-that of becoming No.
S0l to his imperial majesty, THE
King of Kings" to devote herself to
her art and the one particular happy
man.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
THERE is NO ISSUE.

Secretary Shaw's speech at Indian
apolis is to the point. There is little
interest manifested in the coming cleo
tion because there is no issue before
the people. The Democrats have no
platform except those Of 1896 ami
1900, and they are now ashamed Of
both of them, and number of state
conventions have repudiated them and
the man who was responsible for
them, W. j. Bryan. They ask that
the tariff, which they have always
opposed, be revised, and that they,
who know nothing about tariff, be al
lowed to revise it. President Shaw
puts il well when he says:
"The-e is no issue between the par
ties. The Republican party presents
its time-honored, time-tested princi
Piles of sound money, stable currency
in other words-good, reliable bust
ness tools and equipments, implements
of trade, and its equally time-honor ed
and time.t principle Of protection
to American labor, and a conservative,
stable, liberal policy toward the peo-
pie inhabiting our insulsr possessions.
"But out opponents do not
dare-do not dare so much as re-
fer to their platform Of 1896 nor their
platform Of 1900. There is no case to
try, and for that reason it is difficult
to arouse any Interest in the campaign.
"In 1892 they said that protection
was not only unwise as a policy but
unconstitutional as a principle. They
do not dare-they do not dare repeat
their tariff platform of 1892. They dc
not dare ask that protection be elimi-
mated.
"Is there any issue between the par
ties on insular questions? II so, what
is it? The only Democratic delivery
in national convention on the subject
is couched in this language:
We favor an immediate declara-
tion of the nations purpose TO give the
Philippines, /, a stable form Of gov.
eminent; 2, independence, and 3,
IT Itection from outside Interference.
"Mr. Mckinley said; We will es-
tahlivh stable government now
thIoug hout the islands, in which the
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
NEW PRODUCT OF SOUTH.
How Dried Potatoes" Are Evolved by
Agricultural Experiment station


How Dried Potatoes" Are Evolved by
Agricultural Experiment Station
Dried potatoes" IL a new Idea and
industry, and like many other success
full experiments promises TO be n big
thing II lie the product Of the South
Carolina agricultural experiment sta
ton. During the process the potatoes
are boiled. peeled and evaporated In
cannery, and will remain. II IL
claimed in perfect condition for years.
The preserved potato becomes NJ for
eating after being soaked In warm wa
ter for an hour. Like many other new
ideas, this promises to be a big thing
II insures TO the farmer the perfect
preservation OF one OF his most pro
lie and most important general food
crops. at the same time fitting II for
safe and economical shipment 20 dis
tAnt markets heretofore closed TO II,
and effects these ends By a mode Of
preparation which Is so simple and
cheap that II can be employed ON any
farm. When Il Is noted that In one
case stated In the table an acre OF
land yielded s57 bushels OF raw 20
tatoes which In turnytelded lO5 bush
els Of the dried product. the possibin-
ties OF the process In the way Of de-
yeloping the culture Of the vegetable
in the south and introducing Il TO
the worlds commerce and comfort be-
gin TO appear in truly vast proper
tons.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
WHERE BALLOONS ARE MADE
Immense Numbers Of Them Turned
Out On a New York Farm.

Out On a New York Farm.
"You would be inclined to think you
were dreaming" says a writer in Pear
sons, MIR. McGovern. were you to
walk through the farm Of Carl f. My
ers, nine miles from the city of Utica,
state of New York Here can be
seen, on constant view, in summer
time. a large variety Of aerial craft
airships that actually fly. Just as they
do in the story books, doing strange
thircs that you had supposed could
never happen in reality.
Besides the array Of new kinds of
air craft, 1t is fact little known that
every American-made hydrogen bal
loon in use in the United States
whether by the government or by pri-
yate Individuals a product Of this
one farm.
Most striking among the things to
be seen at the balloon farm is fly
ing machine that really flies; not
merely a working model of an airship
that flies a few feet along a track on
the ground. but a fully completed fly
ing machine that scars into the ac-
tual skies as high as any bird-a ma
chine that ascends. that turns and
dives as readily as an eagle does.
Many other curious aerial vessels
have been turned out from the Myers
balloon farm. and some greater won
ders are in course OF construction. Il
is not only his own inventions that
Mr.. Myers constructs on his balloon
farm. He makes all sorts OF aerial
contrivances-scien kites. freak
balloons, air yessels-for other In
yentors.
The greatest number Of the balloon
farm products. however, are big by
drogen balloons"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
SOUTH NEEDS MORE HUSTLE
Mr.. VERIFY Gives an illustration Of lie
Happy oo-Lueky Way.


William Z. W. VERIFY Of Greens
boro. Ala, the president OF the Ala
bama Press Association. which Is now
seeing the sights OF New York. prin-
cipslly admires In New York and the
east the way people value time, max
ing every moment count Il don't
think II necessary to run up and down
speed, and the like. as you do here In
New York City" he said yesterday at
the Hotel Empire. but still ! wish
that we could inoculate in Southern
ers the germ Of punctuality and appre-
citation OF time. As an illustration OF
how some OF our roads are run, for
instance, let me tell you of an expert
ence a Northern friend Of mine had
in the South. He boarded a street
car. and as a section OF the road lay
through a sparsely settled district.
and as he was the only passenger, the
motorman turned his power partially
on. came into the car. and talked with
him. The conductor Joined them.
while the car jolted slowly along just
as II felt like II. OF course this was
very hospitable OF the motorman and
conductor. showing one trait Of South
ern character not TO he deplored. but
IL is hardly the way TO conduct an
up-to-date road or make connections
on time. The South needs more hus-
tie and less wasting Of precious mo
ments II II is to make commercial and
Industrial advance equal to its natural
resources. New York Tribune.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
A Few Happenings of Interest in
This Section.
Marriages in Graves and Hickman
Commissioning Man Charged
With Horse Stealing.
ENTERPRISE OF THE ELKs
M'REYNoLps WINS OUT

HopkJnsville, Oct. 22-Road Sup,r-
visor T. ]. McReynolds won the in
junction suit brought against him by
J. IL Spurlin and others, the court
sustaining the general demurrer to
the plaintiffs petition. An injunc.
tion was sought to prevent McBey-
nolds from disoharging HIS functions
as supervisor Of county roads on the
grounds that he was illegally elected
to the office, having voted as mag
istrate to create the Office and tor HIM
self as supervisor.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
WORKING ON POTATO PATCHES.
On city's Vacant Lots a Big Source
Of Income to PhlladeIphla.


Of Income 10 Philadelphia.
One is accustomed to think Of the
vacant.lot potato patch as something
belonging exclusively 10 Detroit, tho
home of the late Gov. Pingree. the or
iginator Of the idea. II appears. how
ever, that the plan has been used with
effect in other cities. notably in Phil
adelphia. or the results there a com
petent observer says Each year
we have saved the city OF Philadel-
phia more than We have spent We
have saved II in the expenses Of the
police courts and jalls. man who
has a garden for which TO care has
less time 20 hang about saloons. lie
has an object around which his
thoughts and plans may center An
example Of this is the case of a col
ored man, who asked for a plot when
the land was being apportioned the
first year lie was old, partially para
lyzen and very drunk. II Is the pol
icy Of the association to give land
TO any one who applies; whether a
man keeps his garden or not depends
upon himself The superintendent ex-
planned the conditions and assigned a
plot TO the man. who made many
wordy and incoherent promises. The
next day he appeared In a compare
tivoly sober condition. but his right
arm was almost useless, and he
worked slowly and awkwardly. The
next day he was too drunk TO work
at all. SO It went on. almost constant
drunkenness varied by occasional
spasms Of Industry. Nevertheless. he
managed to keep the garden. Grad
ually it became the intoxication which
was intermittent. while the habit OF
working grew upon him. and exercise
brought strength TO the useless arm.
He still has his garden and each year
he finds progressive respectabillty
more delightful"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22


There seems to be great deal OF
agitation at present about various
things in Paducsh, but nothing, or
very little, during all this discussion
and reformation, has been said about
gambling. 1t is alleged that there is
just now a great deal going on
throughout the city. More, in fact,
than for several years past, among
them being some pretty big games.
1t is suggested that as the gamblers do
not pay any taxes, license or fines,
and are of no benefit to the city or
the people, little attention might be
devoted to them. 1t is bad enough
for the saloons to remain open all
day Sunday, and to have many other
evils that we have, but the gambler
contributes nothing to the financial
support of the city, and yet he seems
to be the most fortunate Of all dur
ing this era Of activity.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22
woMEN's ADVANCE IN JAPAN.
Magnificent University Constructed
for Their Benefit,


for Their Benefit,
Six years ago the first conference
was held in Toxic for the purpose of
laying plans for a university exclusive
ly for women. Now the university is
an accomplished fact In April. 1901.
the buildings were completed. $4,000
having been expended in erecting
them. The number Of professors and
instructors is now forty-six. The num-
Der Of students, including those in the
preparatory school. is $50. Both the
professors and the students live in
halls" or houses" similar TO the
dormitories at various American col
lages. Each hail has its matron. The
departments arc three, named after
the study which forms the basis of in
struction in each. though, Of course,
many other studies are included In
the general program. There is the de-
partment of Japanese literature. the
department of Enplish literature and
the Cnuarlunosli al .lslr.,.,a.lfs, = oIo..s,s.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1902-10-22

Filipino people shall have the largest
participation of which they are capa-
BILE. And this we have done. The Re-
publican party promises actual protec-
ton both from outside interference
and from inside anarchy and rapine as
we'll.
1.-THE Democrats have seemed to be
more anxious to discover an issue on
which they may win a campaign than
they are to formulate a policy for
wise government.
"They have no issue to present and
no one leader in whom more than 81
l-3 per cent of their adherents have
any confidence whatsoever.