The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-09-28
OF JAGS
LABYRINTHINE MAZEs OF ]
 DRUNKEN MANS BRAIN.
A Washington Lawyer Tells of His Vain Attempt to Fathom Mys-
 tery of Inebriate's M "fjr Thoughts.

! l
 "Of course," said young Washingtonl
 lawyer, who professes to be a student
 of human nature, "of course a drunken
 man-that is, very drunken man--is
 usually is going to do. He may want to
 kiss you, he would just as soon kiss a
 horse; he may want to fight; he turns
 from laughter to tears with equal fach-, ity. But, as I said before. all these l phases are disagreeable.- however inter- esting they may be to the student of hu-, man nature. ..r g Gy,.
 q had an excellent opportunity to ob-
 serve the psycaology' of fffebfiety short time ago, but in spite of the fact that put in nearly half an hour,f | haven't yet
 been able to make 1t all out. Itwent out
 afternoon recently. When we came to
 board the car for the return trip we | found it pretty well crowded, and were fo, ced to take the rear seat and ride | backward. We did not object to this. Tor we thought we would be away from the | annoyance of people crowding in upon us for the rest of the trip home.
 When we stopped .;s at one ,bs Sf tnoss sd | of the district line there was large crowd waiting to take the car. Judging | from their talk. they had been patroniz- l ing an establishment which conducts a, pool room, for there were several com | plaints regarding the slim odds offered | on the races. Two or three claimed to have won a bunch os money, while oth- | CTS frankly confessed that they had not l been able to guess 'em.' They piled on-,, l to the running board, and crowded onto l the rear platfogm until my wife and were nearly suffocafed,
 | "But there was one man who attracted | my attention in particular. He looked | like respectable young mechanic out for | a lark, for he was dressed in new store . clothes and had g. haircut and a shave | hat s.rD l anything. Ce.tmn facial characteristics stamped him as being Of Irish descent, and in addition to this. hs hair waa rusty brown and ais mustache fiery red. | He also had O. fineNassortmentsof freckies, l He sat down yon the platform of the oa1 2 | and rested his feet on the running board q | at the same time apoRogizng tegme m voice so thick and 8 manner so ezces- l sively courteous that Isaiscerned. his com ditiors immediately.
 He Knew the Signs,
 ""You had better gve the gentleman little more room. said my wife to me, over, so there isn't any more room. Be. $ sides. he's drunk, so don't worry about !. | his comfort z-- s "r.How do you know he Is drunlxr ask ed my wife with considerable suspicion in her eye He hasn't shown any signa of it that I see.'
 l you see the way he acted?'
 " No, I didn't she rephed. And l would feel a good deal more comfortable l if you didn't know so much about such I things
 I An uncertain movement on the part of I the inef,riate interrupted what might | have been domestic jar. l M friend',' he said with a tongue 50 | thick that it refused to Timber up. l hopa | I ain't crowdin' you
 Not at all,' l said as pleasantly as
 possible. T would like ito give you more | room but I can't
 ' .zass all right, he said as he looked 4 at mo with bleared, unseaing4 eyes. 'Zass l all Tight, m frien'. got money lJust I why the subject of money should have
 been capitulated into the conversation ]
 did not understand)
 He took from his pocket three $1 bilii
 which he rubbed with stiff, uncertain tin-
 gers.
 '' .Zass money. Got money an frien's | Always got money an friens n have.
 After having thus proclaimed his pop,
 ularity and his affuence, he took bT1eI | thought he would Tall from the rapidly
 moving car. I touched him gently on thif | shoulder and he woke with a start, and | troubled look on his face.
 It's a awful thing to lose@ frten'y | he said, with unutterable spsthos in hli
 voice. Did you ever lose frien'? did
 an he was the bes frfeR l ever had! | Here he rocked tot and fro In an agony i of grief. As l felt that nothing could | say or do would assuage,. such ansuish.1 | I held my peace. But the man had not yet concluded his lamentsdion% .e' l oh, WOW, fhe burst forth again T. | can see him now. Look out there-on ehe | river
 T complied with the request and fol- l lowed the direction he indicated with his fingers. We were then passing the ThEes | Sisters, and the rock stood ouk boldly | from the blue bosom of the Potomac. .- | A Terrible Death, Sure. See them. spots? Zass where hesdied ! We was on a trip to Europe. When .shs rda game. It would been all right if he hadn't been run over by train When he went down I seen his face, and he speaks up and says: 'Goodby, oP man An I says: 'Goodby, oP man. never seen him again. He was the bes' frienis l ever had ... <, e. forced to hold him by the coat to keep him from falling off the car. My solio-2 itations for his welfare was notf taken in the proper spirit. -e ss Keep your han'Si offen me- he said arousing himself. got money. Got money and frien's. But he was the bes' frien I ever had. It's awful thing to see fren die. He's out there now. Don't you hear him callin' to me. It certainly was too bad when ne fell from the tops of the Washington monument. While he was fallin he says to me, 'Goodby, op- man. I says. 'Goodby, ol man. never see him again..
 Real tears came to his eyes and his voice sank away into an unintelligfble humble. turned to my wife, and she saw q smile on my face.
 ." T think you are downright mean to laugh at him.. she said. The poor man evidently feels real sad
 T knew it was useless to tell her Ahat it was a case of crying drunk for I was certain that she would not under stand what 1t all meant, sO7 I took my scolding in silence. s-J
 "As the car neared Georgetown my drunken friend forgot all about his dear Alphonse, who had suffered. so many ter rible deaths, and began to quarrel with the conductor about ai transfer.
 Don't l get a transferH he asked.
 You already have ene,' said the con- ductor. eTs1s
 |" I got money Said the Jag, pulling !, at his pocket to extract the bills. T got < money an frien's. Don't need transfer. I got money. t
 "But the car had reached Georgetown and everybody got off Just the same ,s wish there was some instrument to reg ister the mental impressions of a man s when he Is drunk. It would make an in- teresting study
 nr.Io