davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
MODERN FABLES BY GEORGE AIDE.
THE MODERN FABLE OF WHAT THE
COLLEGE INCUBATOR DID FOR ONE


One Autumn Afternoon a gray-haired
Agriculturist took his youngest Olive
Branch by the Hand and led him away to
a Varsity. Wilbur was IS and an Onion.
He had outgrown his last years Tunic
and his Smalls were hardly on speaking
terms with his Uppers. He had large
warty Hands which foated idly at his
sides and his Wrists resembled extra Sets
Of Knuckles. When he walked. his Legs
gave way at the Hinge and he Interfered.
On his Head was a little Wideawake with
a Buckle at the Side. Mother had bobbed
his Hair and rubbed in a little Goose
Grease TO make it shine. The Collar that
he wore was size Is and called the Rollo
Shape. 1t rose to a Height Of a half-inch
above his Neck-Band. For a Cravat he
had a Piece of watered Silk Ribbon with
Butterflies on it.
Wilbur had his Money tied up in a Hand
kerchief and he carried a Paper Telescope
loaded down with one Complete Change
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

and a Catalogue of the Institution show
ing that the Necessary Expenses were not
more than $40 per Week.
AS the Train pulled away from Pewee
Junction, Wilbur began to Leak. The Salt
Tears trickled down through the Archi-
pelago of Freckles. He wanted to Craw-
fish but Paw bought him a Box of Crack
erjack and told him that if he got an Ed
ucation and improved his Opportunities.
some day he might be County Superintend-
ent of Schools and get his 5000 a Year just
like finding it. So Wilbur spanked up and
said he would try to stick it out. lie goj
out the Catalogue and read all of the cop
Per-riveted Rules for the Moral Guidance
of Students.
The Curriculum had him scared. He
saw that in the next four Years he would
have to soak up practically all the Knowl-
edge on the Market. But he was cheered
to think that if he persevered and got
through, he would be entitled to wear an
Alpaca Coat and a Lawn Tie and teach
in the High School. So he took Courage
and began to notice the Scenery.
Wilbur was planted in a Boarding House
guaranteed to provide Wholesome Food
and a Home Influence. Father went back
after making a final Discourse on the i'm
portance of learning most everything in all
OF the Books.
Nine Months later they were down at the
Depot to meet Wilbur. He had written
several times saying that he could not find
time to come Home as he was in pursuit
of knowledge every Minute of the Day,
and if he left the Track, knowledge might
gain several Laps on him. 1t looked rea-
sonable, too, for the future superintendent
of Schools had spent s40O for Books, $500
for Scientific Apparatus and something like
$50 for Chemicals to be used in the Labora-
tory.
When the Train suddenly checked itself,
to avoid running past the Town, there
came out of the Parlor Car something
that looked like Fitz, on account of the
Padding in the Shoulders. Just above one
Ear he wore a dinky Cap about the size
of a Postage Stamp. The Coat reached
almost to the Hips and was buttoned be-
low. The Trousers had enough material
for a Suit. They were reefed to show
feverish Socks of zig-zag Pattern. The
Shoes were very Bull-Doggy and each had
a wide Terrace running around it. Father
held on to a Truck for Support. Never be-
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
A Chinese
.eslie's Week.

Leslie's Weekly.
An attache of one of the legations in
Peking at the time when two continents
were in 81 high state of tension was a guest
at the Army and Navy Club in New York
a few evenings since. II had occasion" he
said, ito meet Ii Hung Chang. who. de-
spite the heavy suspense overhanging his
country, seemed to be. to us, painfully
cheerful. One of the party present, a man
i'm authority, referred to Lis merriment.
The interpreter mentioned it to his master,
who requested him TO make the most beau
tiful reply l ever heard. Tell him. said
the interpreter. quoting his master,
that the Chinese have a proverb
which / commend to all. in all con-
ditions: You cannot prevent birds of sor-
row flying over your head; but you can
keep them from stopping and building nests
in your hair I Immediately wrote IL down,
so / know the quotation is correct"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
163.-ENIGMA.

Many years ago the DEY of TUNIS and
a KNIGHT ERRANT of great fame, in
dulged in a heated argument concerning
their respective merits and failings. The
KNIGHT boldly declared TO the DEFY,
Prince, your rule is on the wane; in your
dotage you grow weak and BREAK UP
easily from exposure to the early morning
zephyrs. after / remove my sheltering arm
from your side And you, Sir KNIGHT"
said the DEY, powerful and skilled though
you may be, will never BREAK the rec
ords for perfection, as you quickly FALL
DOWN when L close my eyes in slumber,
and no longer reveal the many pitfalls
that abound in your pathway After con-
siderable discussion both finally concluded
that as one would FALL, WITHOUT
BREAKING, and the other would BREAK,
WITHOUT FALLING, they were indis-
pensable to each others existence. and
they solemnly pledged themselves to re-
main closely united in friendship until
TIME ceased to roll onward.
You may see them any day; name them.
FRANS FOLKS.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

CAll words are the same length except the
last four. When a letter was not available
it's place was taken by repeating a neigh
boring letter.
AGA was riding a spirited BIB, in a very
Csc habit. Though her father had di"'d
only a few weeks before, she trotted along
the banks OF the E"e in very good spirits
(the estate was held in f''f under the king,
singing as merrily as a g"g: MY love
h"%h a bright blue eye. ira, Ia" Her horse
was named I*si, for one Of the heads OF the
tribe of Manassah. When they came where
the chimes in the k"'k tower rang out
above their heads, the horse started and
began to k"@k. Her l"l and trusty groom.
fearing he might m""m his young MISTRESS,
caught the bride, and as two cousins OF
hers came UP. out OF their n"n recess,
one named O~o offered his arm as a pssp
in case she wished TO dismount. At this the
horse began TO rssr, and the groom TO r'sr.
''S@*i catch this bride and hold IL tsst.'s
So with much t~>t they finally Gained the
beast and got him TO tat home, and the
youths w-*@"sw. Hans was a sailor, and
was wearing the wsss.w for a girl who had
Tilted him. At first he longed TO find a grave
in the y*'''y deep. but he will no doubt
have found some one TO comfort him be-
fore another y''".y shore leave.
DOROTHEA.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
OUT OF THE

The English Salvation Army raised $780,
600 during the recent self-denial week.
Jordan is the ~crookedest river known,
winding 23 miles in a distance OF sixty.
1t is said that 1000, 900 inhabitants of the
Philippines acknowledge Arabic as their
sacred language.
Few of the people in st. Pierre were pure
black, and most of them showed only a
trace of colored blood.
Four blast furnaces are to be erected in
Cardiff, Wales. and four in Middlesborough
by a Philadelphia firm.
The largest single apple orchard in the
world is said to be the one owned by ex-
Governor Merrill, in Kansas.
OF ninety boy criminals confined in the
Kansas City county Jail in the last six
months all but two were victims OF the
cigarette habit.
Alaskan Indians allege that up the Por-
cupine river. $500 miles from Port Yukon,
there are two petrified ships lying stranded
IN the mountains.
Slate forms naturally in layers, and the
splitter, following the grain, separates the
blocks into strips of about the proper
thickness for roofing slate.
Thirty years ago, in Japan. the Scrip
lures were printed secretly and copies sent
out only after dark. Last year there were
circulated in Japan over 1SS,00 copies.
The first stamped envelopes were issued
in 1853 OF the two denominations OF 3 and 8
cents. and ii was not until two years later
tnat the lucent envelope was adued.
Two Japanese youths, sent out by their
government to make a practical study Of
trade, are at work in Lima, Peru, one in a
grOcer's shop and the other in a silk-weav-
ing establishment.
Fowls are supposed to have been first do
mesticated in China 400 3. c. This is prob
ably about the same period when, accord
ing to Lamb, the Chinese discovered the
succulency OF roast pig.
Abraham Eisler, recently admitted into
the Buda-Pesth wOrkhouse (almshouse),
has for hfty~four years carried a bullet in
his head. which he received while fighting
in the Austrian rebellion.
Prof. W. j. MCGEE, of the government
geological survey, declares the Great Salt
lake may disappear entirely in the near
future because contributing streams are
being used for irrigating the lands around
the lake.
The umbrella and parasol were used by
the Eastern nations many centuries before
the Christian era. The oldest chinaware
shows pictures of ladies and mandarips
shaded by parasols of patterns similar TO
those now in use.
In China probably more wood is used for
collins than for any other purpose. The
collins arc made or lumber from four to
nineteen inches thick. IL Is not a high esti-
mate TO say that from 5000. 00. 600 10 10000.
100000 feet OF lumber are annually thus
utilized.
A missionary in London declared recently
that in response to an appeal for articles
FOR use on an African farm a milking stool
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

The sun behind the ALL sinks out of view,
But gilds the mountain-top with parting
ray,
The sleepy songsters twitter in the TWO:
The whippoorwill begins his PRIMAL
lay.
The balmy zephyrs whisper soft and low:
The evening star hangs trembling in the
west:
And now. as fainter grows the sunset glow,
The TOTAL blossoms close their eyes in
rest.
G-ray-mantled Night comes on with silent
tread:
The nightingale begins her tale to tell;
The tuneful crickets from their grassy bed
Are chirping to the Day a fond farewell.
II. G. LAUGHLIN.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
Violent Death in Bombay.

Six weeks later DR.. Hedin arrived in our
grand city of Bombay and wrote up the
story of poor BjoeTnsen's death for the
Indian Gazette.
The Gazette is a wideawake paper that
always prints the very latest at the very
earliest moment, but on the morning when
this story was to appear the Gazette itself
was six hours late and was suppressed in
the bargain. Something unheard Of in the
annals of Indian journalism. at least. had
happened. In the course of the night the
editor-in-chief and his secretary had ut
terly vanished from their office in the
Gazette building. and the page proofs
lacking Endorsement, the forms could not
be closed until the publisher. who lives
out of town, was notified after much delay
and gave the necessary authority.
Moreover, the editor-in-chief and his sec
rotary never turned up again-but in the
room where they were last seen were found
two cones of violet gelatine matter that,
so far, has defied all attempts at analysis.
The cones, very properly, differed much in
size, just as the e~ditor-in-chief and his sec
rotary differed while in the flesh: one was
big and round, the other short and thin.
Luckily Sven Hedin heard of the alarm
ing incident in the wee hours of the morn
ing, whereupon he ~telephoned at once to
Government House, asking his Excellency
to suppress the whole edition Of the In
dian Gazette, not a single copy was to be
let out and the forms were to be destroyed
forthwith-lest Bombay be depopulated.
When the Governor heard the urgent rea-
sons for so unusual a demand, he hest
tated not a moment to stretch a point of
the law and imediately dispatched an army
of officers to seize the newspaper on the
delivery wagons, hunt down the carriers
and shut up the office and press rooms.
The reader naturally wants to know how
the editor-in-chief and his secretary hap
pened to- be seized by the violent death.
The explanation is simple enough. Mr..
Raorodjee, the spiritual head of the Ga
zette, was a very old man. unable to see in
artificial light. As a consequence his sec
rotary had 10 read the page proofs to him
as they left the pressroom. And in addi-
ton to his other infirmities, Mr.. RaOrodjee
was slightly deaf, his reader, therefore, had
to employ unusual emphasis to make him
self understood.
The rest may be easily conjectured. Mr..
ONNAONoiy a ANdCACU liz punt III liz
story where the head lama and the rest
pronounce the death-dealing word; this
had no sooner left the readers mouth when
the catastrophe ensued that robbed Indian
journalism of two of its brightest lights.
GUSTAVUS MEYRINCK.
Bombay, Middle of May, 1902.
Postscript-Dr. Hedin (who expects 10
reach Stockholm in JULY was quite sure
that the story might be printed with
impunity outside of Asia, where lamas
and brahmas need not be feared, but even
if I lived at the north pole L wouldn't pro-
nounce the ~death-dealing word above a
whisper. In fact. it would be we'll to for-
get it altogether. AS a matter of extra
precaution, 1 nave omitted the correct pro-
nunciation of the fatal word.
Copyright. 1902, by Henry W. Fischer.l
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

was sent to him from England, and that
one day the negro farm hand returned to
the house with the stool badly battered,
declaring that the cow refused to sit on it.
A new life-saving apparatus weighing Is
ounces, has been invented by Herr De Irsa,
A Hamburg engineer. 1t is the shape and
size of an ordinary pocketbook. The action
of the water causes a small cartridge to ex-
piode, generating enough gas to enable the
apparatus TO sustain 2O6 pounds for three
days.
During a recent performance at the Will
ma (Russia) theater revolutionary procla-
nations were thrown from the gallery to
the stalls. The Governor, General Wahl,
ordered the whole of the occupants of the
gallery to be arrested and logged. Among
them was a mar who shot at the general
later by way Of revenge.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

The Thibetan had spoken the truth. Three
weeks journey brought the caravan to The
very threshold of the mysterious valley:
the poisonous gases they had smelled far
III. They filled the air with car
bonic acid so strong. it seemed as if
all the diamonds Of the world were being
burned in giant chaldrons. The penitent
had estimated its breadth at five miles.
AMI from what DR.. Hedin could see there
seemed no reason TO doubt his statement.
However. he made at least an attempt to
enter the valley from the mountain side,
but found il impossible OF accomplishment.
From afar the gas zone exhibited all the
characteristics OF the desert; the ground
consisted OF loose sand. torn by numerous
email crevices. There were no traces OF
vegetation.
During the second night after their ar
rival DIR. Hedin gave the helmets a thor
ough trial. they worked 10 perfection and
the explorer decided TO risk the INVASION on
the morrow.
Both men started at sunbreak. Hedin,
as usual. carrying hts stenographic note
book and a map with drawing material:
Bjoernsen had a repeating rifle on his
shoulder and a brace OF marine pistols
IN hts belt. As they left camp the Afghan
tLxsw himself on the sround and embraced
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

Twenty days march from here, the Thi-
betan said. in a secluded valley of the
Tagh mountains. far from the caravan
route, there Hes-Hedin had marked the
spot on his charts-the most mysterious
kingdom Of occult thought.
Buddha himself selected the territory,
that. like a natural tabernacle. hides the
most sacred theater of the faithful's rites
from profane eyes.
Notwithstanding mountains, inaccessible
on account OF their steepness and lack OF
vegetation, inclose this open-air temple on
three sidec. while the fourth is guarded by
= zonc poisonous vapors rising from the
ground without intermission and threaten
ing instant death to every living creature
that attempts to pass.
The territory proper occupies some fifty
square miles. and is peOpled by the tribe
OF the select. ut is the garden spot of
Asia's snow region said the Sannyasin-
The trees and similar large vegetable
products denied TO other portions Of my
~country-here they grow in abundance.
Orange and citrons ripen; the grapevine
holds out promise of golden wine; bananas
and sweet dates grow side by side. The air
Is soft, the sun shine brightly ali the year
round-no snow. no ice. no killing winds-a
veritable paradise. Only some five hundred
OF Gods elect inhahit this wonderland,
among them a hundred lamas, the rest
beautiful women and happy children"
"a wonderland indeed-for Thibet." cried
Bjoernsen. IF the rascal spoke true"
DR.. Hedin continued: He spoke the
TRUTH, 1 am convinced of that. Listen: The
lamas of this secluded region claim to be
In possession Of the most sacred rites of
corrupted Buddhism. Having fallen from
grace, they worship a wicked half-human,
half-animal creature who appears at serv-
ices in the grotesque disguise of a pea
cock. hung with precious stones and gold
plate.
This devilish ~high-lama teaches Thibe-
tans the secrets Of black magic-devices
supposed to enable them to keep foreigners
forever at a distance and eventually con-
quer the whole of Asia with the prospect
OF ruling the universe.
According to the P~enitent," continued
DIR. Hedin. lone of their forms of sorcery
is to kill people by p~ronouncing within their
hearing a certain magic w~ord-they would
die themselves If they heard the sounds
out of their own mouths"
Bjoernsen laughed immoderateIy. He had
been with the explorer so long and had as
simulated so much of the doctors liberal
ism in religious matters that he could see
only the humorous side of the penitent's
story.
Birdie your hilarity. said Hedin, assum-
ing a severe air. there is no nonsense but
has a particle of truth in it. That particle
we must discover-at the risk of our lives.
If necessary Are you with me in this ad-
venture?"
BtOernsen held out both hands. with all
my heart" he said simply. Il will never
leave you"
Hear my plan. then" said the doctor.
Those divers helmets with compressed
air attachments we carry in the baggage
will help US over the poisonous zone. For
the rest we must trust TO luck"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

She stands on the threshold, and looks from
the sill
Just over the way to the old-fashioned mill.
The great water-wheel ONE in ~querulous
tone,
The TWO in the sedges add notes of their
own,
And If she but listens a half moment more,
She thinks she can make out the
Of the FOUR;
But over. and through. and amid all the
rest,
The mllier-boy's whistle sounds clearest
and best.
He's sturdy and rudy, this lad at the mill;
You'll notice, whenever his whistle is still,
A good-humored smile ripple over his face.
Like FIVE hat bedimple the mill-pond
and race
He's not tall or handsome, he's not wise
or witty,
Indeed, it might puzzle a clever committee
To tell why yon girl the young miller pre-
fers;
1 think it is simply because he is hers.
NJ. e. S.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

Note-There Is a death dealing word in this
story. You may read il IN your thoughts, but
10 pronounce IL aloud means death. as demon
strated in several well-knOwn instances.
BE warned not 70 have this story read TO you
aloud. nor 70 read II aloud yourself, except 70 an
enemy. with your own ears plugged
GUsTAvUs MEYRINCK.
The Thibetan sat down in the sand,
wrote the fatal word on a piece Of parch-
ment with infinite care and handed it TO
DR.. Helm while laying two fingers upon
his mouth. After that he stood looking at
the explorer for a while, recounted his
money. then climbed on the back of his
camel and slowly ambled away. However,
Just before vanishing in the woods that
skirt the valley he turned once more, and
as a last warning. covered the lower part
OF his face with the ends OF his burnous.
The explorer consulted his Chinese dc
tionary. and searched long and earnestly;
the word the Thsbetan had traced for him
in picturesque hieroglyphics was not there.
He called his Afghan servant, a fellow in
trepid as a tiger. yet superstitious like any
old crone.
"Dost think he spoke the truth?"
MY lord, he was a sennyasin Cpenitent.)
The ~sennyasin does not lie. nor would any
0AE1ALAE III B14IA ~ ~
him. And, moreover. he is on his way 10
Benares, there to worship in the hottest of
holy. If ten thousand of the white mans
devils infested his carcass he wouldn't have
told you a lie. my lord"
DR.. Hedin, remembering that most words
in the Chinese language allow Of four or
five different pronunciations. having as
many meanings, took a handful Of silver
from his saddle bag. offered II to the At
~sfran anu said: ITS thine if thou wilt
teach me properly to accentuate this
strange word"
For answer the battle-scarred warrior
took to his heels, running towards the
grazing cattle. And with one foot in the
stirrup of the explorers swiftest horse he
shouted from a safe distances: Swear by
the God OF the Christian, lord, that thou
wilt never again demand sacrilege from
thine servant nor commit the same in his
presence"
AS this trusty guide was as necessary an
adjunct TO the caravan as the very ice gath
cred at the bottom of the extinct rivers in
the Desert of Cobb, through which ne was
then passing, DR.. Hedin pocketed his pride
and went through the ceremony demanded.
But in the dead of night, when all were
asleep save the master and his body serv-
ant. whom he had brought from far-away
Norway, ne told Bjoernsen all.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22

Fence and start to get off their Colored
Weekly Jokes well fan the Hillside with
them"
What do they teach up at your School
besides Murder?' inquired Father. 81
thought you wanted to be County Superin-
tendent of Schools"
i've outgrown all those two-by-four Am
bitions," was the Reply. I'm going to be
on the Eleven next Fall. What more could
you ask?"
very week Wilbur organized a Ball
Team that walloped Hickory Crick, SAND
Ridge and Sozzinsville. He had the whole
Township with him.. Every Cub at Pewee
Junction began to wear a Turkish Towel
for a Collar and practice the Harvard
Walk.
Moral-A Boy never blossoms into his full
Possibilities until he strikes an Atmosphere
of Culture.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
ANSWERS.
foolish.

145-Penny wise. pound foolish.
146-Thrill. trill, till.
al. "A Study in Scarlet" Doyle ?.
Kidnapped" CStevenson.) 3. Cast Up by
the Sea" CSir Samuel Bakery
14S-Over-look.
1f3-The two lines OF flight converge 10 a
point a mile and a quarter north and a
mile and a quarter east from home; 50
that the bees followed all day belonged TO
the apiary OF Jacks father.
150-Avis. silva.
15l-1. Afore. 2 Benign. 3. Before. 4 Beat
en-. 5. Canine. 6. Extenuate.
152-Sca-faring.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-06-22
Reflections OF a sick Man.
Atchison Globe.

AlCnlSon dlput-
When the doctor comes he always laughs
at you. When you get hungry you are
ashamed 10 acknowledge a.. and. N your
nurse is very particular. you are liable 10
suffer from hunger. When the medicine
makes you sick and YOU complain 10 the
doctor, he says: That's. what l expected:
that's what I intended il 10 do People
come around the house you never saw be-
fore: the milkman. the iceman and the
washWoman. The ~neighbOrs never worry
about your illness as much as you thought
they would. When there Is a knock on the
door you think 1t is an inQuiring friend.
bic. and then discover that IL Is a little
girl who wants 10 borrow butter. What
a lot OF strange dogs play In your yard
during the day And occasionally there
is a COW. and you wonder that the police
are not more active Along about the seq
ond day you begin 10 wonder hat some q
the neighoors don't 60 ont n Hi a onan
apoetitS-