Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-03-13
J6ll|I|||||IiiIBlll||lI|lk
~~>~~~~>~

Lawyer examining witnesS)-Where
was your maid at the time? Laty-ln
my boudor arranging my hair. Law.
yer-And were you there also! Lady
tly)-Sir!-Chicago Journal.
The Chicago MAXWELL what did you
| think of New York? The Colorado
Man-Thought it was mining town
when | first struck it. Somebody was
digging in nearly every street.-Yon.
kers Statesman.
Matinee girls note: Il must SEE you
Mt any cost" Actors answer: All
right; buy ticket for our next per.
fOrmance. "-EX.
The exact place: Teacher-James.
you may tell where the Declaration
Of Independence was signed james
Please. ma'am. at the bottom.-In.
dianapolis News.
Have you made am progress with
your new novel;" asked his friend.
"Oh, yes" said the hustling young
author; i've selected name and a
press agent. "-BrOoklyn Life.
Cholly-Seen Mashaw since be came
from Paris? Dolly-No. deah boy!
Why? Cholly-Oh. why since his stay
there he picks his teeth with quite a
French accent. don't y know!-Ex.
One of many: MIR. Gillis-Surely.
Miss Gray. you haven't forgotten me
already? Why, proposed to you ut
the sea-shOre last summer. Miss Gray
(much puzzled)-Can't you recall some
other incident?-Judye.
French Professor-Ah, yes. mademOi.
selle, you spick re French wizOut ze
least accent. Miss Breezy-Real kind
Of you to say SO, but do really? Oh.
yes! Eat ess. wizout re least French
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Lady" said Meandering Mike. have
you any coffee or mince pie Or"
Haven't you been here twice beforew
Lady, l have. I'm too good judge
of cookin' to let such performances as
yours 60 wit out an encore. "-Washing-
ton Star.
Ignorance" remarked young Borem.
they say, is bliss" "Oh. that proba-
bly, accounts for It," rejOined Miss Cut.
ting. Accounts for whatY Quered
the youth. "The contented and Happy
look you usually wear" she replied
Chicago News.
DO unto others as you would have
others do unto you" said Markley.
That's the golden rule. and believe
in it. too. Don't you?" "Well," replied
Borroughs. IF did Id be offering to
lend you ten dollars this minute
Philadelphia Press.
Turning the question: Finnegan-
Thin trusts is the ruin av our country.
Trusts to the nation. Is lOike bile on
mons soide. Trusts is Pagan
Phwat's the use talkin'? Why don't
yez put poultice on the bile. an let
her break!-Politician.
Bilkins Suffering from a heavy coldl
Il met forty-tive different acquaint-
ances this morning. and just forty four
Of them told me OF some cure for a
cold. Wife-Didn't the forty fifth offer
himself.-New York Weekly.
The Parson-"l hope you are not 60
Ing fishing on Sunday. my little man."
The kid-"Oh, no. sir. | am merely
carrying this pole SO that those wick d
boys across the street will not suspect
that | am on my way to Sunday
school."-New York Journal.
what makes you run your articles
across two columns instead OF the
usual wayW Because" answered the
editor. II am n truthful man. and
desire my conscience to be ut perfect
ease when ! assert that my paper 10
widely read Washlngton Star.
AS a man and his wife were passing
a school. a flying SNOWFALL hit the wife
of his bosom in the neck. He was en-
ragged, and justly. and turning to the
schoolboys. shaking his fist In anger.
he cried: Its lucky for you. you ras-
Gals. that you didn't hit me. Tit Bits.
How can you plough straight fur
rows over such an enormous cornfeld
as this?" asked the Englishman. who
had never been in Kansas before.
That's easy" said the native. I'VE
follow the parallels OF latitude ana the
meridians of longitude. "-Chicago Trib-
une.
TOO bad about the Subbubs. They
were going to have big celebration
last night inviting all their neighbors
to dinner. But their cook heard what
the celebration was for and she left"
What was it forY' I'm honor OF tho
fact that she had been with them
whole month" Press.
"Yes." said the Fairy Prince. you
may have whatever you want for
Christmas present" II will choose"
said the Fortunate Person. "either
wife or an automobile" How fool
ish! exclaimed the Fairy Prince.
why do you not select something that
you can manageY-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Mrs. Winks-Why In the world didn't
YOU write to me while you were away!
Mrs Minks-l did write. Mrs. Winks
Then presume you gave the letter to
your husband to mail and he IL still
oor,v;n0 II around in his DOcket Mira.