The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-02-14

! SuOulu, Sdlu Hull at tue DaCk OF the
audience promptly. 80, 80
He-lt is pleasure to meet a Wom-
an who has u sense of humOr. She
But. really. one doesn't need a sense OF
humor to laugh at the things you say.
Life.
| Uncle-1es, Charles; l laid the foun-
dation of my fortune by saving cab
fares. Spendthrlft Nephew-l didn't
know sou ever drove one, uncle!-
! Punch.
Old Aunt (despondently)-We 1
| shall not he a nuisance to you much
longer. Nephew (reassuringly)-Don't
talk like that, aunt. You know you
will.-Punch.
Marriage Not a Failure: Old Friend
Was your daughters marriage a sue.
cess? Hostess-Oi, great success.
She's travelling in Europe on the ali
mony.-New York Weekly.
A Practical View: Struggling Pas
tor-The collections have fallen off ter
ribly. Practical Wife-It's that new
vestryman who passes the plate; he
never watches what people put in
New York Weekly.
Sensational: Lena-What did that
Russian noDlelnan write in your auto
graph album? Mabel-Oh, something
unspeakable. Lena - Goodness gra-
cious! What was it? Mabel-Hts
name.-ToWn Topics.
10 BE Considered: DO you expect to
have an ovation when you get up to see
your constituents again!" X don't
know" rejoined Senator Sorghum, alb
systematically; how much do oyations
cost ?"-Washington Star
He Got in the Way: Jimson-You say
your wife threw the poker at stray
dog and hit you instead? Jester-Yes.
but it was my fault; had no business
standing behind her when she threw
Columbus State Journal.
Humane Woman: The Cabman-
Gimme your bag, lady, and I'll put it
on top of the cab. Mrs. Oatcake (as
she gets fn)-No; that poor horse of
yours has got enough to pull. III
carry it. on my lap.-Leslie's Weekly.
How He Squared Himself: He Gust
Observation-Disclosures very honely per-
son that gentleman near the piano is,
Mrs. Black! She-Isn't he? That is
Mr.. Black. He-How true it is, Mrs.
Black, that the homely men always get
the prettiest wives!-Tit-Bits.
Messenger Boy-Is this MI. Ernest
Seton-Thompson's, or Mr.. Ernest
Thompson-Seton's or Mr.. Sompson-
Teton's, or Mr.. Ernest Theton-Shomp.
sons? Maid-Wait a minute, can't you.
He didn't say what it would be to-day.
III go and ask him.-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer:
An exchange laments that Niagara,
one of natures great spectacles, won
der Of the ages, has become the propel-
Ter Of base machinery and the exploit
er Of sensation seekers. 1t has been
Noticed for some time that Niagara
was going down hill.-Kansas City
Journal
Mrs. Hauskeep-I don't know much
about the new girl, but she's good-na-
tured and harmless at any rate. Mr..
transcription did you find that out!
Mrs. Hauskeep-I notice that she sings
at her work. Mr.. Hauskeep-Huh
That's no sign; a mosquito does that
Philadelphia Press.
His Taste Uncertain: POOH" said
Daisy, scornfully, 1.-THE idea of your be-
ing afraid Of a poor old house-dog!
Why, he eats out of my hand" II
don't doubt it," replied Burroughs, du-
biously, but what am afraid of is
that be may take notion to eat out
Of my leg."-Smart Set.
A Few Years Hence: 'Anything go
ing on this EVENING"" Eyes; there's to
be a performance at the Athletic Gar
dens. A fellow will undertake to SUBJ
due an automobile that has a record
Of having killed six men. He's to do
it in one hour or forfeit thousand dol
rs.''-Cbicago Tribune.
Straight Tip: Il hear your engage.
ment with young Gotrox has been
broken off," said the first fair daughter
Of Eve. "Well, you are entitled to an
other hearing" rejoined fair daughter
No: 2, as she held up a graceful hand
on which a solitaire sparkled; you can
see for yourself that am still in the
g.'-Chicago News.
Proof: The Maid with the paper)-
Here's piece says that the police OF
New York are getting more insolent
every day. The Cook-Bedad! OF be-
lave: thot's roight. Phwy, lasht noight,
phwin Pathrolman Danny Foley drop
ped in, he wanted to'know phwy OF
didn't save him the breast Of the turkey
instid av the leg.-Puck. 49,
A Temperance Lesson: e." said the
temperance man, strongly object tc
the custom Of christening ships with
champagne" Il DON'T" replied the
other man; 81 think there's temper.
ancc lesson in it." "How can that be-"
well. Immediately alter the first bot
tie Of wine the ship takes to water. and
sticks to it ever after."-Town Topics
Az Brown took the vacant chair the