The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-08-08

~ $3.50
times I fancy his halo is trif1e too
small for his head.-Puck.
Blonde Bridesmaid - The ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
the family. Other Bridesmaid SISTER
to the bride)-No, she only sent a
pickle-fork!-Life.
With a String: Little Johnny-My
paws Republican. What's your paw?
Little Geoge-He says he's independ-
ent, but nav outlines his foreign
Chicago Record Herald.
Premature Inquiry: Miss Gushington
What do you consider the ten best
books, Mr.. Sect? Con Sect (the young
author)-Really, I've only written six
books so far you know.-Philadelphi
Press.
Possible: Uncle Stephen - Sarie,
here's a piece bout how they're telle-
graffin 'thout wires. By jinks! l
woodent be 'sprised to hear next tibet
they're sendin' letters 'thout postage
stamps.-Judge.
An Awkward Deadlock: ''Why are
they not speaking?" ''They quarreled
about which loved the other more"
"Well?' "And now each is afraid to
give in for fear Of offending the other.'
Brooklyn Life.
He had asked the Boston maiden for
kiss. "Oh, SIR" she cried, blushing,
81 have never been kissed in all my
life. ~ "Well, suppose somebody has
got to break the ice," replied the
practical young man.
Preparing for the Start: mercy!
where did you get all the books?'
"Why, I'm trying to read up few of
them so as to know what to take away
to read when I leave for my summer
vacation" Plain Dealer.
The Thoughtful Girl: Madge-Dolly
is going somewhere with that young
man this evening. Marjorie-Yes, go
ing to sit with him in the hammock.
Right after dinner she went upstairs
and put on dark shirt-waist." Port
land Oregonian.
Curate-Why don't you come to
church, John? Come next Sunday, will
you? John-'Ow long do it last, sur?
Curate-Oh, not very long. About an
hour or so. John-Lor', bless yer, Eur.
it bain't worth while changing yer
shirt fort!-Sketch.
Miss Fairfax-Good-maw Aunt
Caroline. Why amt you washin' now
! adays? Aunt Caroline removing her
pipe from her mouth)-Well, you see,
Miss Clara, rs bin out O. wuhk so long
dat now, when I could wuhk. I finds
rs done los NAH taste TO- it.-Judge.
WHY'S Reply: willy-1 met our new
minister on the way to Sunday-school.
mamma, and he asked me if l ever
played marbles on Sunday. Mother
HIM. And what did you say to that?
Willy-I said: Get thee behind me,
Satan and walked right off and left
him-Tid-Bits
"Why do you carry that umbrella,
little boy? It's not raining. 'No, sir"
"And the suns not shining" mo.
Sir" ''Then why do you carry it?'
"Well, when it's raining pa wants it.
it, and it's only this kinder weather l
can get to use it at ALL"
Mrs. Hicksy (who is entertaining her
little sons playmate, aged five, to din
ner)-Willie, can you cut your own
meat? Willie (who is struggling with
a piece on his plate)-Yes, thank you
with desperate saw at the beef, I've
cut twice as tough meat as this at
home-Glasgow Evening Times.
1t is told of learned professor. who
was better at Greek than golf, that
after a round on the links in which he
had fooled most of his shots, he turn
to his caddie for advice as to improving
his play. The reply Of the ruthless
caddie was: eye see, sir, it's easy to
teach ladies Latin and Greek, but it
needs head for gowff."
Really Ratified: did you feel at all
nervous when you got up to read your
essay on The Essentials Of the Es-
sentiahy Essential before that
crowd?" eyes," the sweet girl grad
uate replied; II was awfully upset. I
had noticed just as l walked out upon
the stage, that my left shoe-string was
united" -Chicago Record-Herald.
Fate: Once there were two beautiful
white eggs laid side by side in a nice
new nest. A great big man gathered
them up with his rough hands and sold
them to grocer. And one little egg
was good little egg, and went into an
angel cake, but the other little egg
was very, very bad little egg, and got
mashed on an actress.-Town Topics.
Terrible to Think OF: "What makes
you look so sad and solemn" "A man
told me this morning that looked Just
like ]. Pierpont Morgan" "But why
do you allow that to trouble your" II
was Just thinking what a horrible vic
tim Of wrong was il maybe him and
me was changed in our cradles when
we was babies. Chicago Record-Her-
aid. '., @*
Bridget and Pat were sitting in an