Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-10-23

Pat-Did they shake hands when
they met? Mike-No: they shook their
fists.
Have they been in society long7"
"Only about a week." Flows thati"
Before that they called their chef
cook"
HE has a picture of his sweetheart
inside his watch" Indeed! Well. he
looks so happy lately, though there
must be woman In the case"
Church, see the definition Of a gen.
tleman Is one who never gives pain.
Gotham-I don't suppose my dentist
would like 1t II / told him that.
Invalid understand 1t is quite dry
out here. Broncho William-Dry2
Why. stranger, it's SO dry. here that
the rain is wet only on one side.
$50 the engagements OFF," Eyes;
she advised him to practice economy,
and he started in by getting her an imi.
tation diamond" detroit Free Press.
Wife-Really, she's the worst gossip
In the neighborhood. Why. l heard this
morning that She Husband-Come,
now, don't try to beat her at her own
game!
A Common Variety: Young Doctor
Which kind of patients do you find 1t
hardest to cure? Old Doctor-Those
who have nothing the matter with
them.-Judge.
"Were you much embarrassed when
he kissed you7" mo. was brighten.
ed, though" How so. Il told him
to stop, and for q moment l thought he
was going to-"
Beetem-Pshaw! ! must have $50 by
noon to-day, and left all my money at
home In my other clothes. Can't you
help me out? Wiseman-Sure! III
lend you carfarc to 60 home for It.
what care for gold or silver?' said
the proud beauty. Your sentiments are
eminently practical" answered Hiss
Cayenne. Get some steel or copper
stock and the gold and silver will take
care Of themselves"
Summer Hotel Proprietor (proudly)-
Nearly all my walters are college men
who are working their way through
college. Guest-Well, judging by the
way they work your guests, they'll
oil be graduated with honors.
The Status.-Marie-'I have an en-
gagement with Cholly, and I don't
know how to get out of it." Helen
Haven't you any reason for breaking
it," Marie-"Yes, l have a reason
Cholly Is the reason-but want an ex-
cuse."-Puck.
rs there any profit in selling postage
stamps" inquired the man in search Of
information. mot directly" replied the
druggist; but 1t gets people into the
habit of going to the drug store, and
after that 1t doesn't take long to make
chronic invalids Of them."-Puclk.
Mrs. Goodsole-Why, Johnny, are
you just going home now? Your moth
er's been looking for you all afternoon
Johnny-Yes'm, l know. Mrs. Goodsole
Just think how worried she must be.
Johnny-Oh. she's near the end o her
woEryin'. I'm just beginnin' mine.
"Graciousw exclaimed Mrs. Newli-
wed, examining the window-sash,
Something has been gnawing at this
woodwork" "Yes: noticed that" re-
piled her husband. IA little dormouse,
perhaps; there are lots Of them around"
"a dormouse2 But this Is ON the win.
dow-sashv'
No so Disinterested: BiggstI had
NO idea old Graspit was a philanthro.
pist until l saw him circulating a petit.
ton yesterday for the purpose Of rails.
ing money to enable poor widow to
pay her rent. Diggs-Oh. Grasplt's all
right. He owns the house the poor
widow lives in.-Chicago News.
A certain Dyersburg woman assured
her husband she never told him a lie
and never would. He told her he didn't
doubt It, but would hereafter cut a
notch in the piano when he knew she
deceived him. mo. you won'tw she
screamed. I'm not going to have my
piano all ruinedw-Tennessee State Ga.
xette.
Examining a class of children, patri-
archal gentleman asked for the names
Of some of the islands near England.
There was a dead silence, and to help
the scholars-himself thinking of the
Isle of Mamie remarked. encourag.
ingly: Can you think Of any places
where no women are allowed, only
men" Instantly girl held up her
hand: "Please. sir. the Scilly Isles"
Weary Willie and his friend Trowsy
strolling along the seashore stop be-
fore Il sign reading: Notice. oath
ing Is Dangerous. Quicksands."
Weary Willie! 'ere, Frowsy; deres
true pub. : spirit for yer. don't know
who dat Teller Quicksands is, but he's
got de right idea Nv things an amt
afraid to say so, an if he wuz here Id
take off me hat to him. "-Leslies
Weekly.
The front-door bell rang furiously. A
head adorned with shaggy and unman.
ageable whiskers was thrust out of the
chamber window, and voice that fit
ted the beard inquired. "Who Is it?"
..Oh. Is this Mr. HigginS?" came shrill