Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-10-22

Pat-Did they shake hands when
they met? Mike-No; they shook their
fists.
Have they been In society long7"
"Only about week" "How's that2"
Before that they called their chef .
cook"
"He has picture Of his sweetheart
inside his watch" Indeed Well, hs
looks so happy lately, though there
must be woman In the case"
Church, see the definition of gem
tleman Is one who never gives pain.
Gotham don't suppose my dentist
would like 1t II ] told him that
invalid understand 1t Is quite dry
out here. Broncho Willlam-Dry1
Why, stranger, It's 80 dry here that
the rain is wet only on one side.
$50 the engagements offT Eyes:
she advised him to practice economy,
and he started in by getting her an imL
tatlon diamond."-Detroit Free Press.
Wife-Really, she's the worst gossip
in the neighborhood. Why, l heard this
morning that She Come.
now, don't try to beat her at her own
game!
A Common Variety: Young Doctor
Which kind Of patients do you hnd Il
hardest to cure? Old Doctor-Those
who have nothing the matter with
them.-Judge.
"Were you much embarrassed when
he kissed your" mo. was frighten.
ed, though" How so?" II told him
to stop. and for moment thought he
was going to-"
Beetem-Pshaw! must have $50 BY
noon to-day. and left all my money at
home in my other clothes. Can't you
help me out? Wiseman-Surel IN
lend you carfare to so home for It
"What care for gold or silver7" said
the proud beauty. "Your sentiments are
eminently practical" answered Hiss
Cayenne. Get some steel or copper
stock and the gold and silver will take
care Of themselves"
Summer Hotel Proprietor (proudly)-
Nearly all my walters are college men
who are working their way through
college. Guest-Well, Judging BY the
way they work your guests, they'll
all be graduated with honors.
The Status.--Marie-'I have IN en-.
gagement with Cholly, and don't
know how to get out of It." Helen
Haven't you any reason for breaking
TT" Marie-"Yes, have reason
Cholly is the reason-but want an ex.
cuse."-Puck.
as there any profit in selling postage
stamps? inquired the man in search Of
information. Not directly" replied the
druggist; "but 1t gets people into the
habit of going to the drug store, and
after that 1t doesn't take long to make
chronic invalids of them."-Puck.
Mrs. Goodsole-Why, Johnny, ara
you just going home now? Your moth.
er's been looking for you all afternoon.
Johnny-Yes'm, know. Mrs. Goodsols
Just think how worried she must be.
Johnny-Oh, she's near the end o her
worryin'. I'm just bcginnin' mine.
"Gracious!' exclaimed Mrs. Newli.
wed, examining the window-sash,
Something has been gnawing at this
woodwork" Yes; ] noticed that" re.
piled her husband. "a little dormouse,
perhaps: there are lots of them around"
"a dormouse? But this Ia on the win.
dow.sashr'
70 so Disinterested: Blggs-l had
no idea old Grasplt was philanthro.
pist until saw him circulating peti.
ton yesterday for the purpose Of rails.
ing money to enable poor widow to
pay her rent. Diggs-Oh, Graspit's all
right. He owns the house the poor
widow lives in.-Chicago News.
A certain Dyersburg woman assured
and never would. He told her he didn't
doubt 1t, but would hereafter cut o
notch in the piano when he knew she
deceived him. mo, you won't!'' she
screamed. "I'm not going to have my
piano all dr-Tennessee State Ga.
zette.
Examining class of children, patri.
| archal gentleman asked for the names
Of some of the islands near England.
There was dead silence, and to help
the scholars-himself thinking Of the
Isle of Mamie remarked, encourag.
ingly: "Can you think Of any places
where no women are allowed, only
men| Instantly girl held up her
hand: please, sir, the scilly Isles"
Weary Willie and his friend Frowsy
strolling along the seashore stop be.
fore sign reading: "Noticel oath.
Ing Is Dangerous. Quicksands."
Weary Willie-l,ere, Frowsy; dere's
true pub spirit for yer. don't know
who dat Teller Quicksands is, but he's
got de right idea Nv tings an amt
afraid to say SO, an II he wuz here I'd
take of me hat to him."-Leslie's
Weekly.
The front-door bell rang furiously. A
head adorned with shaggy and unman.
ageable whiskers was thrust out of the
chamber window, and voice that at.
ted the beard inquired, "Who is it?'
"Oh, is this Mr.. Higgins?" came shrill
voice from the shade of the doorway
below. "Yes." please come to No. A
High street just us quick astyou can.
and bring your Instruments" II amt
no doctor; Pun carpenter. DR.. Zig.
gins lives two doors below" and the
window was coming down with slam,
when "Please, Sir" said the little
voice, "it's you we want. Pa and ma
is shut up in the foldln' bed, and we
can't get 'em 'out."-Chlcago journal.
View of the World.
1t is true that the gentle old soul who
stands out In soft relief below lived in
the seventeenth century, but the charm
of simplicity and enthusiasm cannot
be outworn by time.
She lived in the Peak country of Dey.
| onshire England and had navar haoo