The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-09-26
There's good fellow. Do now, for my
sake you know / would do anything for

lessly and at great length cross~examine
| witnesses. Recently all Italian was Oil
trial before him charged with stabbing
a fellow cOuntryman. On direct exam
much precision described how and where
the stabbing occurred. \ young lawyer
| started in on a very minute crosS-eXam-
inatiOn, and asked the Witness:
"::Were. YOU stabbed in the hall?"
mo, sir"
Were you stabbed in the back yard:''
"Were e; you 70, stabbed in the cellar?"
At this point the judge, with smile,
broke in with the remark:
counselor, what is the use of asking
al! those questions when the witness has
told us over and over again that he was
Times.
A lady returning home from the sea-
side unexpectedly found her waitress
using the parlor for the purpose of giving
select party to her friends
"Ann, am surprised she calculated.
| so am |, ma'am," replied the un-
abashed girl; II thought you wouldn't
be home for a fortnight" New York
Daily News.
| IA young MiH, al Tie FISH VI HIS HE,
saved a beautiful young girl from drown
ing. Her grateful father seized the res
cuer Of his daughter by the hand and
with voice tremulous with emotion.
said: 'Noble youth, to you am indebt-
ed for everything that makes life dear
to me. Which reward will you take
$40. 900 or the hand of my daughter"
"1'll take the daughter" replied the
heroic rescuer, thinking thereby to get
| hOfh the pir1 and tho nOnQV
"You have we'll chosen,'' replied the
grateful father. II could not have given
you the $4,000 just yet. anyhow, as I
have not laid up that amount, being only
a poor editor, but my daughter is yours
for life. Take her and be happy. Heav-
en- bless you, my children!'-New York
''This little boy has swallowed a s.
gold piece, doctor. wish you'd set it
| out"
"H'm-Tn see what can be done about
it! It's your boy, l prcsume?'
"No-1 took him in payment Of a billv'
-Fliegende Blaetter.
At a recent school examination by the
| school board all otticious member intimat-
ed that he would give certain class a
lesson OH wood" After lecturing to the
| children for a considerable time without
any appearance Of attention from the
class he stopped short and began ques-
tioning one dull-looking boy. "Well, my
boy" said he, taking hold of the boys
jacket, what is this jacket made of?''
The boy, hanging down his head, re-
boy,' the member coaxingly said; ''don't
you know what your jacket is made of %
rWith eyes still on the floor the boy an
swered: 1T was made out Of my IA
| TIERS auld breeks.'-Scottish American.
Nodd-I'm going to give childrens
party: Will you come?
| Todd-On one condition.
! "And that?''
'That. l can play with the children,
and don't have to talk with the grown
ups."-Life.
If the following incident is not literal
ly true, it ought to be, for we find it in
| the Christian Register, very trust
worthy weekly paper: An absent-minded
man went into Il restaurant, called for 4
newspaper, and ordered coffee and a
ham sandwich. The waiter brought q
and the man went on reading his paner.
Fifteen minutes after the waiter re-
turned. Anything more, STRIP he said.
"Yes," snapped the man. "Get me a
fresh sandwich. That was as dry as a
bone.' The waiter looked down, and
gasped. ''Lor,'' he exclaimed, there's
the sandwich. You've eaten the check"
Mr.. Norther-I've often wondered why
SO many colored men are lynched down
this way.
| Col. South-Well, sub, 1 reckon it's
because they don't start runnin' quick
enough.-Philadelphi Record
"Speaking to the point and say
ing exectly what you mean reminds
me OF, an incident that l witnessed
at Atlanta, Ca" said Clinton N:
the Uncle Tom type had been Knocked
down and mangled by a trolley car The
usual crowd gathered, and as he was be-
ing placed in the ambulance, one individ-
ual advised him to sue the company for
damages. Damages said the old man,
with look of supreme disgust, got nuf
damages-better sue for REPAIRS New
York Times.
'Now, Willy, you may give me a SEN
tence that will be easy to parse.'
"Yes'm. How's this one: Said the
sparse, parsimonious parson: Parse the
parsnips! '-BaltimOre News.
| A recent number of the Publishers
Circular contains the following story
with a moral which bookseller tells of
one Of his clerks: A customer handed
him a few books, saying: ''How much -
| The assistant replied: I'm sorry we
can't make you an offer, sir; these books
are all our of date now, and are absolute
waste paper"
| Customer-Oh, I didn't want to sell
them. I've just taken them from your
! shelves. want to buy them.''
| !. Assistant beg your pardon, sir!
Eighteen shiilings is the cash price.
Londoner Ito New York friend)-
Well, and what do you consider the
| strangest things in London?
! New Yorker-The American bars
Moonshine. r.r ,.s,'
A lady went out in search of two others
who had gone out for walk some time
! before. She met an old man and asked
him if he saw two ladies pass this way:
Ma, nor l wisna lookin' for them" She
met another and asked the same ques-
ton. INA. bit there MIGHT "a been ten
pass't for onything at I ken or core"
At last she met a boy and asked the