davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

Nat Goodwin was lounging in the
smoking room of London hotel with
Pat Sheedy recently when Mr.. Andrew
Lang, the literary critic. stopped to
greet the comedian. The conversation
turned upon matters literary. and be-
fore Mr. Lang departed he had made
some allusion to Theodore Watts-Dun-
ton, the celebrated pre- Raphaclite.
Whats DuntonT' queried Sheedy.
who was rather mystihed.
ITS u gag from Weber and Fields"
replied Goodwin. sparring for time.
II never heard it, How does it go"
"Why. Weber says TO Fields Watts.
Dunton? and Field replies, You say ii
not right. Don't say Watts Dunton
Say il so. Watts-Ditten"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
She Knew 1t.

a Philadelphia man thought he
would be more successful than his
wife i'm securing servants. So he cut
out Il number of advertisements from
the "situati MS wanted" column of a
newspaper and started out in cab to
visit the various addresses. The first
place he stopped at was in front of Il
little house in Il narrow street. from
which COOS had advertised He saw
her and was fayorably impressed.
81 am looling for good cook" he
said
sure. an don't OF know it," ex-
claimed the COO. "Oi oqly left your
house yest.dday"'
lie maze II hasty and undignfied re-
treat and decided to allow his wife to
continue in her direction of the house
hold affairs.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Vel, eiIY of MefeOrifes.

The singu ar fact has been demon
srated that while the most rapid We
locity Of cal non balls scarcely ever
attains a spec of GOO meters a second
about LOO II les per hour-meteorites
are known 10 permeate the air with
velocity of 10000 or even G0,00O meters
per second. This unthinkable speed
instantly raist the temperature of the
mir TO 1000 or COCO degrees centigrade
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Ruling Servants, 1850.

Nan New on, for breaking Teapot
in Phill's Chamber, 2s. Cd.
Richard Knight, for Pride and Slight
ing, 2s. Cd
VIM. HCtherington, for not being
ready TO go o Church three Sundays,
los
Tho Bird !, for being at Nuneaton
from mornii : TO night. IS.
Cook dea drunk, los.
Anne A. ans, to be washmaid at
Lady Day she went away the Goth
of June fC being wanton and careless.
She lost Fl e pairs Of sheets and five
pillowbeers, for which my wife made
her pay fl.-"Diary of Sir Richard
Newdigate
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

mo MORE lr EEs THE AGE OF ROMANCE. "
you TAXA in the food lead on to cleo.
ton conrolla that flood. | con
trolla the Italiana vote Of this ceety,"
striking his chest violently. Il sella
you that vote for feefty dollar"
Young man" interrupted Mr.. Ryan.
I'VE do not buy votes i'm this city. and
even if we did we would know that
there are only six italian voters in
Elizabeth will give you three-quar-
tiers of minute to get out of my office
before | call policeman"
The strange visitor rose languidly
from his chair, bowed low and, back.
ing out of the office. said incisively:
mo more it ees the age of romance,
but the abomination of fact and fig.
ure. New York Times.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

A German paper tells the story of a
German officer who. i'm command of
some Beers. managed to surprise a
British train ut Il small waysde sta
ton. There was some whisky Oh
board, and the Beers soon sampled it,.
with the result that the good British
spirit did its duty by laying them out
fast asleep on the platform Here they
were found and captured by some Eng
fish troops. who, in their turn, took n
little from half empty cask. with the
result that. acting on half starved men,
the whisky sent them to sleep in their
turn. When the Beers woke up. they
recaptured their capturers. Thus in a
few hours there was one British vic
tory and two Boer victories added to
the record
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
JACKSON PURE
BAKING POWDER.
PROB4TE ORDER.

CTATE OF MICHIGAN. County OF Ionia, IS.
- At at session Of the Probate COurt.for SAID
County. held at the Probate ONCE in the CITY
of Ionia, on Wednesday, the sth day OF January
A, d.. 1902.
Present-Wm. O. Webster.
In the matter of the estate Of Joseph h.
Clemens Deceased.
On reading and filing the petition. duly veri
fed, of Roxanna Clemens devisee OF said de
ceased, praying that certain instrument on
file in this Court, purporting 10 be the last will
and testament Of said deceased, may be admit
ted 20 probate, and administration OF said es
tate grantt TO Willis ID. Bal GU, the execute.
named in aid will or some other suitable per
son.
Thereupon IL is ordered, that Monday, TIE Bird
day of February next, AZ TO o'clock lu the fore
noon at said Probate ONCE. be assigned for
heaaing said petition, and 10 is further ordered.
that copy OF this order be published in the
Bedding BANNER a newspaper printed and cir
cuating In said Co nty Of IUnia 3 successive
weeks previous TO said day Of hearing.
WM O. WEBSTER.
A true copy Judge OF Probate
MONTGOMERY WEBSTER,
Register OF Probate.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
A Monster vesseI of oiaen Times.

PtolemRus philopater. one of the an
cient kings o. Egypt. is said to have
built vesse 420 feet long, sc feet
broad, % feet high from the keel to the
top Of the Prov and 50 feet to the
top of the poop. She had four helms of
co feet, her largest oars were So feet
long. with leaden handles so as to be
more easily worked. She had two
prows. two sterns and seven rostra or
beaks. IN both poop and Prov she
had flgm IS of men and animals that
were full IS feet high. She had 1000
rowers. 400 cabin boys or servants.
$500 marines TO do duty on deck, be-
sides berg provided with immense
stores of arms and provisions.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Just Like a Womnn.

The coffee was weak, the toast burnt
to cinder and the ham as hard as
leather, or at least he said so. His
wife's long patience gave way.
"John Henry" said she, 1--WE tried
faithfully to cook for you for twelve
long years. No one in the town has
better cooked food, yet you are always
finding fault. Why can't you praise
me once in awhile? Ia like to know
that"
He looked up in establishment.
well, if you amt the most unrea-
sonable woman l ever saw" he ejacu-
lated. why. many and many is the
time I've sat down TO Il meal and never
said a word about II. Anybody would
know there wasn't any fault to be
found or I'd "A found it, and yet you
want better compliment than that!
That's just like woman-she can't
tell a compliment when she gets one!
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
No More the Age Of Romance.

Mayor Patrick j. Ryan of Elizabeth,
n. j., recently elected to that office in
that ancient city, sat in his office on
Broad street the day before election.
A dark skinned. sleek looking young
man was ushered i'm. Disposing him
self in comfortable chair, he spread
out his hands and in soft voice. with
decided accent, began:
"Meester Ryan, you be the next
mayor Of Eleez' You Gamma be beet"
There was pause during which the
caller observed the ceiling contempla.
lively, and Mr. Ryan observed him
with an indugent smile. The strange
young man continued:
THE greata poet of England say,
There is tide in the life of men if
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
BENEFITS OF the nirch.

The cane should never be used as the
ordinary instrument of school punish.
ment. a cane may possibly bring
about irreparable damage. and Gaming
on the hands is the most senseless and
cruel form of punishment imaginable.
The birch is the best implement of
punishment for small boys First, IL
hurts; secondly. if applied In reason,
il does 10 harm.-Londun Lancet.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

Senator Depew was treading very
cautiously on the ley pavement as a
stout party sailed around the corner
and struck a sliding track.
"Gracious." exclaimed DR.. Depew.
who feared that the man had broken a
leg and was very much relieved TO dis.
cover that he had not. 1T is very for.
tunate that you did not fall with your
legs under you"
81 should not have fallen had they
been under me- rctorted the unfor-
tunate acrdiy
And DR. Depew went chuckling on
his way with fresh one in his collec-
ton. Washington star.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Force of Habit.

"These editors make me weary
complained the eminent architect.
Explain" suggested the sympathet
ic friend
"Well, | designed ten story build
ing for Fibhler's Magazine. and they
have rejected five stories ind said they
would pay for the others after publica
ton" Baltimore American.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

1t is not the boy who is surrounded
by the hes Implements and tools that
ingenuity can manufacture, but an Eli
Whitney making cotton gin in n eel
hr In the south with the simplest tools
VI a Cuna.d whiting the model Of n
hip with q jackknife that makes great
Industrial discoveries. Success.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
4 Difference.

One of the college weekly papers
ms!;es the following comment on the
die arence between football at Yale
and Harvard: AT Harvard coach.
beipg surrounded by literary infu-
ences. must cry. Pierce the line with
fierceness. gentlemen At Yale coach
says: Dive into 'em. you Holsters!
Dig In your toes and sock it to 'emr"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
A APPROXIMATION

We proclaim our offer o the people
that we sell VlNOL ON positive guar
antee. If it does not succeed IA benefit
ing you we will refund The entire amount
OF purchase money
III You are troubled with amy ~ the
following ailments We lynow tHltAlNOL
will help Won Anyway y0tl sh0nld i've
yourself the chance t ne benefited by
il, particularly as you take 10 risk in
losing money il IL does not help you.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Iirf Annie.

A correspc ndent sends us little
story Of his infant son. His mother
was telling Tommy about the apple
and the ga ZEN of Eden. when the
child, who Z sided in the country and
had lively recollection of windfalls,
remarked, "l5ut. mummy, it would not
have matte cd so much. would it, If
she had picked one off the groundT'-
London II. 2
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Arrinst Precedent.

Doctor congratulate YOU. sir. You
nre the fatb"r of fne girl.
Subbubs oh. my! Wen never raise
her.
roctcr-Tut, tut! Why do you say
that?
Suhbuts-I II seems utterly impossible
to keep Girl here more than week
philadelphia Press.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
ups and Downs of Life.

Ida see that German student al
ways has his muStache turned up.
May Sometimes it is turned down
Ida ! think you are mistaken.
May Hardly: | heard Della say she
turned il down when he tried TO kiss
her Chicago News
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
The Dissatisfied.

"If had my way" said the prac-
teal man there would be no poetry
written
We'll. answered the cynical reader
of magazines. II guess you've got your
way, all right Washington Star
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Valuation.

"Do you care for Millions poetry"
asked the young man
Not much answered Mrs CumroX.
Il am told thai one OF his best poems
was not considered worth more than
$50" Washington star
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

One Of he managers of hospital
asked an lrish nurse which he consid-
cred the ost dangerous of the many
cases then n the hospital.
"That. sur said Patrick as he point
cd 10 "a g of surgical instruments
lying on Il ! table.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

~ woman has acted rs speaker ~
the Colorado house of representatives.
said Klduff
Mrs. Tiff acts constantly as speaker
OF my house." added Mr.. Tiff. Detroit
Free Press.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Alarming Enrccnrtr.

Russia's expansion in Central Asia is
logical and inevitable Sooner or later
England VIII have to fight for her hold
Oh India. Persia is ear marked for
Russia. Berlin Kreuz Zeitung.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

Winks- rks never sees the point of
a joke
Blinks o: he Is usually the butt OF
t.-New \ ,rk Herald
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
In the performnncc OF his Dul

VI III
Mrs IIauskeep You neCdnt deny IT,
Della saw you permit that police
man to Kiss you last night
Della ~ cUorSe. ma'um Shure. We
wouldn't have nae resist am officer
would yet Philadelphia Press.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

Proud man makes sport ~ the alb IL
ty OF woman to throw. Just ask him
TO thread needle.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

Some men take time by the forelock,
while others hang on to his coat-tails
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
jus, the season For II.

"There is nothing like choosing the
right time for an argument.
How 500"
well for instance this would seem
to be good occasion to put forward
the theory that the sun is losing its
heat. Chicago Post.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
Wen stuck To.

Wfe-Are you sure you caught this
fish?
Mr. Cayfello-Of course.
Wife-It smells very strong.
Mr. Gayfelo- Strong; should say
II was II nearly pulled me over
board-New York Weekly
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

at Is a Hood and thunder play,
isn't it,"
'No: It's thud and blunder play"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
unjustinnbIc Curiosity.

Lawyer examining Witnessl Where
was your maid az the timet
Lady In my boudoir arranging my
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

A man must fall at i, asst once to learn
how to succeed.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30
PERE MARQUETTE
NOV. =, 1901.

trains Leave Belding as follows;
For Lowell, Grand Rapids, north and west. -.
....... 1000 a. M, 800 p. M 7:l4 p NJ
For Detroit Toledo and East ......,....
roo a. m, 1880! "a m 500 .. m
For saginaw Bay City aud Port Huron.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. .s:li q. a., ;35 p. m.
For Howard rs a....... Il q. NJ 40 p m
For ltreenNillcs ..,.s...t. Lib a. m
s.l4a nj zap. M, e.s5 p. M, 1905 p m.
II. =. MOELLER, Gen Pass, Agt
NJ T. OsrERHOUT Agt
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

Lawyer And were you there also?
Lady Indignantly Sir! - Chicago
Journal
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1902-01-30

he somehow found one haIf got up
and hi him on the nose, and the othe"
half ditto 10 ma
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
Lsonln.lda EknmLner.

''''NN''''i' tsH..ttNtNt"if.
\ good thing-a decidedly good
thing-i- the Herald Trades Edi
ton, aud eminently appropriate il il
al this season of the year and at this
stage Of our municipal history 10 pic
ture in such pleasing. and yet withal
truthful colnr- the social, the religious,
and th.r .r.ld lfe Of our Farm
vile pc ple.
The undertaking was gigantic one
-nne that required much thought aud
much labor and set greater patience
nevertheless the sum total Of all these
has been given tO the public in most
crediAblc beautifully illustrated,
artIsiicaily arranged and elegantly
printed twelve page index to our town
life, that cannot TAI. tD accomplish the
laudable aims of JOS promoters: de-
sire 90 faithfully portray tO the reading
world community That needeth not
t0 boz ashamed.
IL is one more step in the right direc-
lion, and viii necessarily serve as "a
potent factO in theadvaucement OfOur
people and a. means of awakening
them 10 "a fuller realization Of their
possibilities.
We have long thought that farmville
was on the verge of greater things
Give as AN intelligent, reading public,
good county roads, aud another rail
road-all of which are M -ight-and
there j, 40 telling what Developments
the immediate future may have in store
for u-.
We heartily congratulate the Herald
for the momentum which the Trades
Edition viii lend tO this worthy cause:
the further growth aad prosperity Of
our town.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
FRIDAY, MAY 9. 1902.
II rnIS REPUTABLE RrsINESs /.

Here is pen picture Of Wall street
methods:
transactions ON the Stock Exchange
for single day aggregated $3.50, 600
shares, bank clearings on single day
reported total Of S59s, 5S7 ,4O96 o.. and
Stock Exchange membership sold
for S500OO-all record-breaking figures.
Brokers had TO work day and night
and Sundays. Bookkeepers fell asleep
AT their desks. Many broke down
from overwork. Nervous prostration
caused half-do1en brokers to seek the
medical care that could be obtained
only iu sanliarums. One great com
mission house found il impossible TO
close It's office for one hour in the
month of April. In the vernacular Of
the Street il was rampant bull
market, with the whole country ex-
hibitiug stock speculative intoXica-
ton"
Aud 10 this nervous, restless, sim
ming source We are TO look for finan-
clal headings and moral conduct of
money affairs Good Lord deliver
us
In Well regulated towns and cities,
shops are closed on Sunday, and one is
not allowed 10 buy even cake Of soap,
but in this seething, gambling centre,
there is mo- fear OF God or regard for
man.
Ordinary gambling il done behind
barred doors, but in this extraordinary
branch Of the desperate and devilish
business day light is boldly defed,
public prophecies outraged, public law
trampled under foot. Again We ask
is this reputable business ? and we can
give thean,wer Of every right-thnking |
person in the land.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
The First Long Skirt.

There are diverse dress-epochs in
every girls; life the long skirt-epoch of
babyhood, the short skirt-ephoc Of girl.
hood and then the long-skirt-epoch Of
early womanhoOd. One Of our dear
girls celebrated the last named Of
epochs on last Sunday and never did
queen clad in royal robes and with a
train attendant" wear more grace
iully or shine more Respondent. True.
there was some shyness as to how
best to grasp the flowing garment, and
keep 1t from trailing in the dust. but
the difficulty was promptly met and
mastered, and the vexed problem solv.
ed to the satisfaction Of the happy
wearer and the host Of anxious friends
who watched the maiden effort with
quickened pulse and bated breath.
Alas, that the epoch should mark the
TRANSACTION from guileless. innocent.
free girlhood into womanhood. whose
are weighter. whose
liberties are more restrained aud whose
touch of life Is waiting in the thrill
Of longer and brighter days, longer
skirt and less Of liberty, longer skirt
and fewer days on earth.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
WHAT III WILL DO.

"Ihe New Constitution will purify
politics and drive political pirates from
public life. will put decent men in
office and ballot thieves IN the peniten.
tiary. 1t viii emancipaie the thought
and make free the action Of Virginians
IN matters Of public concern. 1t will
Danish the ignorant and venal voter
from elections, both primary and gen.
eral, rendering the Preparation of
fraud aud the practice Of bad methods
ineXcusable indefensibe and atogeth.
er deserving Of swift and stern punish.
ment, both by law aud public senti.
ment. Ii will produce ia Virginia
such a revolution in public affairs as
Will breed once more "a race of public
men that Will challenge the other
States Of The American Union 10 pro-
duce their peers. "-Lynchburg News.
Mr. Glass ought to know just what
he is talking about, and if the Consti
tuition is as good as he represents it to
be the wonder is that any Virginian
who has the good Of the State at heart
can object to proclaiming.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09

Ii isn't disgraceful to live rich or die
rich, and yet general regret is ex-
pressed that the late DIR. Talmage, a
preacher Of righteousness, should have
left an estate Of 100000. Paul didn't
have time to make money. Neither
poverty nor riches" il the Bible stand
ard. And yet DR.. Talmage labored
hard to induce poor people TO be con-
tent with poverty here with the hope
Of riches hereafter. Abraham was rich,
however, and we trust that the two
have already met and exchanged greet
ings In the celestial city.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09

Congressman Peter J Otey died at
his home in the city Of Lynchburg, on
last Sunday afternoon, and was bur
led yesterday afternoon In the Presby
terrain cemetery Of that city.
Major Otey was first elected TO Con
gress IN 1894. and has served since.
lie was educated in the business walks
ofliie and carried his good training
into public life. His last bill Of general
interest was on the subject Of good
roads. Upon whose shoulders will his
mantle fall? Let us hope hat his
successor will take up the good work
which has so suddenly fallen from his
hands.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
Beautifully Printed.


We are ln receipt of the trades is
sue Of the Farmvllle Herald. 10 is "A
handsome paper and does credit to
The community il 50 ably represents
The paperis 20 bee commended a. fine
sample of the printers art. lt is beau
ufully printed on god paper, and
the Illustrations are very fine. Farm
Vile ought to Dee proud Of such "A print
Jag establishment equal % such work
and good thing That 10 has 20 enter
pri-ing new paper.
The above mentioned edition Of the
Herald D. commercial and industrial
expression in print II outlines the
trade and industry Of Farmville
and community and shows that Farm
willie is keeping stride ia the march Of
progress. Nere'0Ice in the prosperity
Of Faumyile and in the prosperity OF
the Herald
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
MORE WORDS OF COMMENTATOR.
4 Magnificent Edition.
lUrbana Sentinel


Last weeks issue Of the Farmville
Herald eclipses anything Of the kind
ever accomplished by newspaper i'm a
town Of 5000 inhabitants, 80 far a. We
know. IL was "A magnificent 12-page
illustrated trade edition. devoted To AN
exposition of the resources and advan-
iages oi tarmyille a. trade center.
short sketches Of the enterprises now
IN operation there, brief Biographies
of the leading business and professional
menand other interesting topics, accom-
panied 10y beautifully printed half-tOne
cuts. None but newspaper men can
half realize the tremendous task which
has been $40 successfully performed by
the Herald. and 10 will never be possible
To estimate the good effects which will
result from this exhibition Of energy
and public spirit The Herald deserves
the congratulations of the entire news
paper fraternity aud merits the united
ana constant support Of all within it,
territory.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1902-05-09
4 Signal Success.

lbacksionc courier.
Our neighbor, the Farmvllle Herald.
has issued a Trade Edition Of that pa
per setting forth Farmville and lis
business. This j. something never be-
fore attempted, We believe, outside of
the larger cities. and even then not
with all papers. For this reason the
Herald deserves special credit, aud the
business people Of Farmville may we'll
congratulate themselves upon having
10 their midst paper with 80 much
enterprise.
This edition contains twelve pages.
each full Of cuts Of the leading business
men, houses and other enterprises. TO-
gether with full description Of each
Printed on good book paper, clear and
bright, II Will serve A. "A memento well
worth preserving.
The labor required on such an I'M
dertaking, both mental aud physical.
l. hard 70 be appreciated 10y the unit.
ated. For this reason We must again
congratulate our contemporary on it,
signal success.