Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1902-05-21

be moonlight excursions and visits Of
observation to the parks.
In the senior year the prescribed
studies will follow the same general
line, but in addition each student will
be required to show familiarity with
his or her studies and must be able to
satisfy the examiners in the three sub
jects of ability to arouse interest, the
Encouragement of rivalry and the art
Of expressing affection The degree
of Bachelor of Hearts will only be
granted when a student can bring for
ward girl who believes in him under
all circumstances, while the post-grad-
uate degree of Experimental Benedicts
will only be conferred upon graduates
Of the college who, after year of mar
riage, can display certificates, signed
by their wives making affidavit that
they have never regretted their choice.
The plan Of the College Of Courtship
Is based on Prof. Brooks belief that the
leverage young man does not know how
to make love to the average young wo-
man and that the young woman Of to-
day does not understand the art Of be-
ing loved by the modern young man.
In his opinion the manifestation OF
love, Of tenderness, and Of devotion
are matters which can be taught to
those whose bashfulness or lack of in
itiative prevents them from seeking
their affinity in love. Spontaneity Is
all very we'll for those who have It,
says Professor Brooks; but for those
who are without this accomplishment a
course Of scientific lovemaking Is the
best substitute.
The chief object of the faculty OF
the College of Courtship will be to re-
duce lovemaking to an exact science.
The matter has been so carefully stud
led by the skilled psychologists at
tached to the college that they are now
able to predicate, with mathematical
exactness, just what a girl will do
under certain circumstances and what
reply she will make to the preliminary
advances Of a student of the opposite
sex who follows the prescribed course
in his lovemaking.
The faculty particularly wishes to
rid the public mind of certain set no
tions concerning girls and their ways
which they believe to be erroneous.
For instance, they wish the students,
early in their freshmen year, to aban-
don the idea that the average girl
doesn't know her own mird for two
minutes together. Professor Brooks
says that as a result of only two
months instruction at the College of
Courtship he Is now able to exhibit
several girl students who can maintain
a decision for 80 minutes without wink
ing or drawing a fresh breath. He
hopes to be able to increase this period
of endurance to an hour later on.
Professor Brooks is equally proud of
another student of the same sex, who,
when asked her age, will tell 1t cor
rectly. instead of saying: "How old
do you think I am?" These two in
stances, he says, afford valuable evil
dence of the work that can be accom-
plished by scientific instruction in the
preliminaries of lovemaking.
The work of developing his ability
in both sexes Is begun early in the
freshman year, when lectures upon
Languages" are delivered. The book
upon this subject was especially pre-
| 90, tkn olo l>,y A n
dleit, author of that well-known mono-
graph entitled Studies In the Molar
Dentition of Ducks" The object of
the work is to provide a series of care
fully planned conversations, so that
students, while reciting their lessons
in pairs, will be enabled to make love
to one another in the proper, scientific
and collegiate way. Under the cap
tion Of How to Make Love to a Red
Headed Girl" for instance, the follow
ing improving dialogue is given:
He-How beautiful your hair looks
with the sun upon it. 1t reminds me
of spun gold.
She-Do you really think so?
He-Of course, do. I always liked
red hair.
She-Well I admire your eloquence!
Red, indeed. My hair Is not red. It's
only red-brown. (She pulls braid
over the forehead and shows itl. Look
at that! Do you mean to call that red? =?
He Cooking in her eyes)-I don't
fn
mistake. Of course 1t isn't red. 1t Is
just the color Of your eyes.
| (Note to Student-If her eyes are
blue, omit preceding sentence and use
following:)
He (continuing)-And now that you
have lowered your eyes I see that
your hair is just the same as your
eyelashes and eyelids. Do you know
that it is rare-and pretty to see peo-
pie whose hair, eyes, eyebrows and
lashes are all the same color?
| (Note to StudenO-If her eyelashes
and eyebrows are red you are up
against it. Get another girl)
She-Thank you.
He'll say Thank you," too. If you
will give me little bit Of that hair.
She-Whatever for?
He-What does a man ever want a
girls hair for?
She-Well. 1 don't always know. A
man asked me for a bit of my hair
once and I found out afterward he
wanted to make fishing flies out Of it.
He-Well, he was wise. What fish
L fct FOL +Laf hot