davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
ITO Be Continued
Incorrect DfaEnosis.

He posed as fortune teller and
mind reader. and when he was arrest
ed and taken into New York court for
posting handbills on the street, he ex-
planned his vocation to the presiding
judge.
"And so you are mind reader"
said the interpreter of the law. II
wonder if you can read my mind.''
'"Oh. yes,'' replied the prisoner, APP
parently believing that "bluff'' would
serve his cause as we'll as anything.
"You are of bright and cheerful dis.
position. And can see by the merry
twinkle in your eye that you are
about to tell me to go home"
"Your diagnosis is not correct" said
the judge. II was merely meditating
whether I should make the fine five
dollars or ten dollars. think we will
call it five dollars this timo.''-Youth's
Companion
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
AN AMATEUR DETECTIVE.
"A An1sht OF the Razor Who Showed
Qualifications for the Sleuth
Profession.

Sherlock Holmes has promising rival in
Daroer known to the Philadelphia Record.
He aStonlShed one of his customers the other
day BY asking him ii he were not left-hand-
ed. The man admitted that he was, and
suggested that the barber had probably
seen him hang up his hat.
No. said the barber; II have other
ways OF finding; out such things Il see. too,
that you are bookkeeper."
YES admitted the customer. "your
guesses are correct. How do you know?''
Its easy said the barber. I'm sham
poolng your head I.notced ink on your hair
at the lett temple. This ink, l concluded,
must have got there from pen resting on
your lett ear, which indicated that YOU were
person, who used pen great deal, as
only such persons use their ears as pen
racks. p
THAT didn't convince me that you were
bookkeeper, however, because literary
man might stick his pen behind his ear for
convenience: | learned of your profession
when l applied the lather. This made the
INK on your hair wash out, and I discovered
two shades of ink-red and black. Nobody
but bookkeeper uses red and black ink. 50
1t was easy to class you as a bookkeper.
II knew you were left.handed because the
INK was on the left side-the side that a
left-handed writer would involuntarily use
when sticking his pen back of his ear
WONDERFUL, wonderful" said the Gus
toner. "Now suppose you stop talking fol
awhile. and finish shaving me"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
AHALF MILLION ACRES OF RICH LANDS
TO BE THROWN OPEN.
DIRECT RAILROAD NOW BUILDING.

The new extension now being built
by the Northwestern Line to Bone
steel, S. D., brings to mind the treaty
recently made with the chiefs of the
warlike Sioux by which part of the
famous Rosebud Reservation is to be
turned over to the government and
one more of the few choice tracts of
public lands now remaining, be thus
opened to settlement.
The land in question lies between the
Missouri and Niobrara rivers and is
we'll Watered and fertile. Farm lands
near the Reservation are selling at
from $40 to $35 an acre, grazing lands
at from Sc to SIS.
The country is level or slightly roll
ing, consisting of black loan with clay
subsoil, making the very best of farm
ing land. It seems to suffer exception
ally little from drought.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
ROUGH ON MARK TWAIN.
An EnElishman's Appreciation of One
of CEnuncey Depew's Lit
tie Jokes,

Once upon time Senator Depew and
Mark Twain were fellow passengers on a
trip across the ocean. One night dinner
was given and Twain was called upon Tor
speech. He made number of character
lstlcally humorous remarks, and then sat
down amid applause. Mr.. Depew was next
called upon, relates the Washington Post.
Mr.. Clemens and l exchanged speeches
before dinner he said, and he has deliv-
cred mine. His is so bad that won't dis
grace him by repeating it, Then Mr.. De-
pew sat down, while everybody laughed.
The next morning, while Mr.. Clemens was
pacing the deck, an Englishman came up to
nim.
Mr.: Clemens" he said, II always thought
that Mr.. Depew was smart man, but that
speech Of his which you delivered last night
was certainly the worst drivel | ever heard"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
Protection Against Moths.

Upholstered furniture may be pro-
tected from the ravages of moths by
spraying two or three times during the
summer with naphtha or benzine. If
you have no regular sprayer, take a
small watering pot, such as is used for
sprinkling house plants, and sprinkle
in April, June and August. These
materials will not harm the most deli
cate fabrics, and the unpleasant odor
soon passes off, if the article is placed
in the air. Care must be taken not to
carry on this work near the fire or by
gaslight on account of the inflamma-
bility of the agents employed.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

into his boot tops, was in his shirt
sleeves and carried an oil can in one
hand and a bunch of waste" in the
other. Bill Comfort, bearing a large
book, was close to his employers
heels.
1T looks as though you people never
would get through larin'," growled
the judge. Here it IS, only two
months from the biggest harvest we
have had in the territory yet, and
I've got to leave my threshing ma
chine and come here
At this point his honor exchanged
his oil can and bunch of waste for the
book.
"Sit down, Bill" he commanded, and
the engineer tipped Lem Bilkins out
of his chair and seated himself.
''Now,' continued the Judge, laying
the book down on the table and throw
ing himself into his seat, II was busy
yesterday afternoon and don't know
what this is all about. Tell me, some
body"
Mr.. Burberry got up.
'1f you p-p-please, your honor, I
have the p-p-pleasure to ap-ap-a-"
That was the extent of Mr.. Bar
berry's utterance, for the time. He
grew red in the face, whistled,
stamped his foot and struck himself
in the side, all to no purpose.
Then the Colonel, suave, dignifed,
voluble, arose.
"Your honor" said he, 'this is an
action brought against one Barney
Liscomb for maliciously threatening
my life with a shotgun"
II seen him do it," declared Lem
Bilkins.
you hush, Bilkins. You, too, Keev-
er. I wouldn't try to say anything if
it's painful, Barberry.. Sit down and
keep still, all of you. I'm the boss of
this threshing outfit"
''This is court of law, your honor,
and not a threshing outfit" remon-
strated the Colonel.
''It isn't, eh? I say court of law
is moral threshing machine. Doesn't
it separate the wheat from the
chaff?"
"Right you are, Waff!" seconded
Bill Comfort.
The judge frowned at his engineer.
''This is no the-ay-ter," he resumed.
"What have you been doing, Barney %
"Your- honor, ILL.," began the
lawyer for the defense.
Don't distress yourself, Barberry;
sit down. I was talking to Liscomb.' -
II r-r-represent him in this c-c-case.' -
"Not in this court. Sit down, tell
you. Now, Barney?" 49, l..
but, your honor, c-c-c - slut
tered Earberry,.ed and desperate. "
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Unlocking the door OF the latter
chamber, Pettibone requested Barney
to come forth. The prisoner obeyed,
and when he saw Guy he pressed close
to him and asked in a low tone, while
the sheriff busted himself relocking
the door:
"Did you give me away?"
NO." replied Guy, land I will not.
If you can get clear, Barney, go back
to Harmony and stay there That will
be the safest and best thing you can
do
Barney nodded as the sheriff Joined
them and they started for the court
room.
AS has been stated, Christopher
Waffle owned a threshing outfit. His
profession was that of an itinerant
thresher of grain; incidentally. as will
be remembered, he was also justice of
the peace.
There was, in Christopher Waffle,
certain warmth of originality and
sharpness of purpose that had earned
him the sobriquet of Hot Waffle"
But Christopher Waffle cared not for
public opinion, good or i'll. He made
it his exclusive aim to please Waffle,
j. P. and thus was always sure of be-
ing on good terms with himself, what
ever might be the state of his feel
ings toward the rest of mankind.
When Guy, Barney and Pettibone
entered the room, the judge had not
yet arrived. Col. Keever was there,
however, his white hat severely set
upon his ample brows testi-
mony of his mental condition. There,
also, was Lem Bilkins, twisted about
a chair in close proximity to the Colo
mel and watching his every movement
with an admiration that was almost
soulful. Glimmer was there-Mrs.
Glimmer having agreed to look after
the Emporium during his absence
and Pinney, the druggist. and Letting
well, proprietor of the livery stable,
and Sampson, and Mr.. Burberry. who
was supposed to be lawyer and who
possessed "a painfully meager form, a
Ratchet face. had an impeachment in his
speech and had been retained by the
defense. Others were present, but
none especially noteworthy. The
buzz of conversation ceased abrupt
ly upon the coming of the sheriff with
his prisoners-for it was plain that
Guy was considered in the light Of a
malefactor. spared the odium of i'm
prisonment merely because of Petit
bone and upon the latter's RESPONSE
bility.
Frigid looks were directed at Guy
by every one except-strange as it
may appear-the redoubta BILE Colonel.
The manager of the Townsite COM
pany had slept upon the incidents of
the preceding afternoon and had come
to the conclusion that he had been
somewhat hasty with Guy. Solely by
grace of the young man he was di-
recting the affairs of the town. The
office was no sinecure, but if Concord
won in the contest his paper would
boom" and his nest would be feath-
cred III other ways. For these rea-
sons, the glances he shot in Guys di-
rection were of the sorrowful and in
juret-but-forgiving kind.
y chair, table, a glass and broken
water pitcher were awaiting the
judge, who finally arrived. He was
clad in overails carelessly tucked
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
CalamitOuS.

Father-You shouldn't have walked
me up! I dreamed was in restau.
rant and had ordered a sirloin steak.
''You must wait awhile" said the
waiter. had been waiting some time,
and then you walked me!
Daughter-Oh, bot You ought to
have ordered cold eorned beef!-
Heitere Welt :
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
Water Does 1t.

A Minnesota woman has recently discov-
cred powder that perfectly cleans silver,
and. in fact. everything that shines. The
do all the work, requiring absolutely no
effort on your part. This simple, easy,
perfect cleaner is called Silver Salt, and If
you send 25c to the Silver Salt Co., st. Paul,
Mimi, they will send a large package by
return mail, and also return your money if
you are not pleased in every respect after
irving it.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
A CHEERFUL QUEEN.
the Mountains of Roumania
IL an Ideal One.

Much has been written of Queen
Elizabeth of Roumania (the poet Scar
men Sylva'), one of the interesting and
admirable royal figures of Europe. The
Century contains little paper on her
summer life in the mountains by Nine.
Zoe de Bolatchano, once of her court,
who gives this agreeable glimpse OF
her:
Sometimes, at very early hour, I
could hear the queens clear, powerful
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
Another Step Forward.

The manager of our bureau has thought
out splendid scheme for the chiIdren's sup
plement.'
Eth! What is it:''
He has had one Of the artists draw full
page picture of Mont Pelee in action, and
then, right on the summit, he has rubbed
lot OF explosive chemicals. When a match
is touched to the stuff the eruption occurs.
The child under five years whose photograph
shows the smallest amount Of hair and eye
brows after the explosion gets the first
Plain Dealer.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
None in Stock.

~ observe" said the literary customer,
"that 'concealment, like worm i the bud,
hath preservation the damask cheek Of
some of these apples. That is poetical quo
tation:;, l presume you have read Shakes
peare?"
Red Shakespeare" echoed the apple
dealer. "No, sir" That's a variety I've
never heard of."-Chicago Tribune.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
CHAPTER *.

On the following morning, shortly
before the judicial hour of ten, Guy
and Pettibone proceeded to the build
ing containing the drug store and
As1ended to the second story. Here
was ths courtroom and likewise the
small apartment utilized Is jail.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
Her Strong Point,

"Can you sing?" said the theatrical man
ager.
Not the least in the world" replied the
applicant for job.
Can you dance?"
'Not Bit
''Then what use do you suppose, young
lady, we could make Of you as member OF
our company"
You ought to see me try to do song
and dance. It's the funniest thing in the
world. "-Chicago Tribune
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
One Fare for the Round Trim.

Chicago to Boston, Mass, via Grand
Trunk Railway System. Selling dates, June
l2-l3-l4: Chicago to Portland, Me. Selling
dates, July 5 to 9, inclusive.
ONE FARE PLUS ONE DOLLAR FOR
ROUND TRIP.
Chicago to Provide nce, R. I. Selling dates,
July 7-8-9 For limits, time tables and fur
Their information apply to Geo. w. Vaux, A.
G. P. & 7. A., l35 Adams St., Chicago, III.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Henry A. Salzer, the well-known La
Crosse, Wis, scotsman, has given the last
thousand dollars to wipe out the debt on
the La Crosse Y. M. c. A. Mr.. Salzer,
though an extremely busy man, finds time to
encourage and assist educational and philan-
thropic enterprises frequently.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
An Estimate of Art.

Have you ever written anything that you
were ashamed Of" inquired the severe rel
alive.
No." answered the author. "But hope
to some day. l need the money."-Wash-
ington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Fits Permanently Cured. No fits after
first days use of DR.. Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer. Free g 90 trial bottle Dr. r. H
Kline, Ltd, 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

$50 you're not working for Mr.. Stockson-
Bonds any more, Uncle Eph?' mo, sab.
lse IN de mimi business mahse'f now" I'm
the INNING business, eh? "Yas, sab. Kali
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
TakinR M Chance,

OHooligan-lf yez don't like yer job,
phwy don't yez resign?
Moriarity-Begob, me resignashun
might be acciptid!-Ohio State Jour-
nal. EE
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Never put off till tomorrow what you can
get some one else to do to-day.-Ohio State
journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of
as cough .cure.J;; W: OBrien, 1922 Third
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

It is impossible that man who is false
to his friends should be true to his country
Bishop Berkeley.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Some men are known by the friends they
fail to make.-Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
Twins Named.
Eriend-What arev

Friend-What are you going to name
the twins? s.ss = x.
Enthusiast-Ping and Pon9:-N. 7.
Press. s3.Sss. s.s s.5-s =.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

To Cure q Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund moneyifitfa fails to cure. 25c.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Audacity is the stepfather of success
Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

A brave man hazards life, but not his
conscience.-Schiller
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

The incand escence o: opportunity gloweth
alone for the resolute and spry.-Town
Topics
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
An UnfavorabIe Svmntom

"You have what call quinine cough, -
said the doctor, proceeding to mix dose
of medicine for his caller.
"And a quinine cough, L suppose"
wheezed the patient, ''is sort of Peruvian
bark."-Youth's Companion.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

When a woman says unpleasant things to
man she always ends by contessing that
what she told him was for his own good
Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
A Hard One.

The eminent Boston professor who de-
clares that there can be no more languages
invented has probably not heard Of the
Georgetown man with a hare lip who is
teaching a parrot to talk:-Washington
Post
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25
OLD SORES CURED

Aliens Ucerine Salve Chronic Uleers Bone Ueer
Sersio'e.s Csrs xaFseess U!esr lndoest Cle. He.as
Ulcers, white Swelling, mix Leg, Hcsens, Salt Rhes,
Sores all Old Positively failure, hewse9
saadlng BY na 2Se asA Soc p ALLEN, St. Paul
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-06-25

Don't Get Footsore! Get Foot-Ease
A wond erful powder that cures tired, hot
aching feet and makes new or tight shoes
easy. Ask to-day for Aliens Foot-Ease
Accept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, Ny.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-08-11
Southrn leanue.

New Orleans, August lot looked ike
rain, but 400 people saw a great game,
which was finally called after eleven In.
nings because both sides had TO eaten
trains. The Little Rocks lit on TO French
IN the first inning and four hits yielded
two runs. After that he had the big feI.
lows at his mercy untll the ninth, when
ne grew bit careless and his frst charity
base and Gueses two-bagger scored the
tying run. He was saved from defeat by
a phenomenal catch or Stanley's. New
Orleans could do nothing with Guese uptil
the sixth, when Stanord's two-nagger
brought In two runs, the last one being
0 close decision, on which Little Rock
kicked. Guese asked TO be renved in the
tenth and Watt went in and nearly lost
the game. The bases were hlled, with
only one ont, bat STAFFORD hit grounder
which Deahanty got and Surned into a
lightning double play.
Score II II p
Little Rock $500 200 600 OOl 90 3 Il
New Orleans 900 lu2 0oo 90 5
Curse, Watt and Lynch; French ana Ao'
bolt
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-08-11

and had one Of her hip bones broken. Mrs.
Young was nearly OF years old.
ALTOONA, Pa.-The opera house block.
one OF the largest buildings here which
was occupied by the Imperial Dry Goods
company the One-Price Clothing company
snd the Eleventh Avenue opera house. was
Quilted by FIRE Loss $4,000.
OYSTER BAY n. president Roose-
welt passed a quiet and uueventful day at
Sycamore Hill. He did not attend church
in the morning as Is his custom, but Mrs.
Roosevelt and the children were In their
pew at Christ church.
NEW HAVEN Conn-The trolley strike
was declared OF Saturday night the com
pany accedIng to the demands of the men
and II is announced that traffic Will be re-
srmed
MANILA. Forty one American cruisers
and gunhoats assembled and were dressed
at Cav-te and fired twenty guns at noon
in honor of the coronation of King Edward,
tho American forces on the Island OF
Mindanoa has sent dispatch to General
Chafce saying there are two Moro parties
AT Bacolod, one peaceful and one hostile.
BUFFALO. \. Y-The International
Athletic club has signed Kid Carter and
Tommy Ryan for twenty-round contest
to take place September 10.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-08-11
ALPINE CLIMBERS PERISH
TWO INTREPID PARlslANs LOST ON
MONT BLANC.
In a Binding Snow Storm the Party
Rushed Blindy into Deep Crevasse.
A Terrible Experience.

Chamounix, France, August 1o.--The two
residents OF Paris who recently persisted
from exposure on Mont Blanc and whose
guides were reported to have been killed
while descending the mountain in search
of assistance, were named Staehling and
Mauduit The bodies OF the men, together
with that of the guide, Outlet have been
brought here. The guide, Blanc, who was
supposed to have been killed. was found
alive at the bottom of crevasse. me
falls of the guides Into the CreVaSseS were
wi messed by telescopes from here and led
to the superstition that both men had been
killed. Blanc had miraculous escape. lie
had sheer fall Of about III feet, but was
almost uniujured, although he suffered from
the effects OF six hours exposure in the
ice. Outlet was killed instantly.
In an Interview with representative of
the Associated Press Blauc said; Both
the FrenChmen were between ~ and 30
pine climbers. They were sclt.wiNed and
not inclined TO follow the advice of the
guides ON reaching the Petit platgau, a
binding snow storm began. ! counsellor
a return, but the Parlsians persisted that
they could easily reach the refuge Of the
NaIlot observatory. The storm increa sed
in violence and compelled us to burroW in
the snow for protection. We stayed thus
all four huddlAd together for ten Yours
and shared equally the last drops Of
brandy.
Az = o'clock In the morning Stachliug
expired OF exhaustion and ten <ainutcs later
Mauduit also breathed his fast. He had
Just strength enough 10 whisper the word
adieu,' II was 4 O'Clock in the morning
before the storm abatel Outlet and
tried 10 hne our way down TO the Grand
Mulets. Our lands and feet were frost
bitten. We met parties ascending VINO
gave us brandy ard coffee. Outlet was too
III to speak"
When asked how they had rushed blind
ly into the cIevasse Neophyte, which they
could have avoided, Blanc replied. 1--WE
were so exhausted and overcome with the
hardshpS of our terrible experiences tina,
we were madmen for the time being W.
shortest way from what had happened ."
II is said that several guides warned the
party not to start. as storm was brew
Ing.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-08-11
FOREIGN BRIEFS.

HAMILTON, Bermuda.-Saturday was a
public holiday here. In the morning there
was a state service in honor of the coro-
nation of King Edward. The afternoon
witnessed a regatta In Hamilton harbor and
nightfall was attended by an imposing dis.
play OF fireworks, accompanied by military
maueuvers.
PORT AU PRINCE, HaytL-rhe people
Of Petit Goave are in great distress and
have asked for assistance II was reported
from Port Au Prince August 6 that further
government reinforcements had started for
Petit Goave 10 aid the government forces.
TROMSOE. Norway. Evelyn h. Bald.
win. the Arctic explorer, in an interview
characterized the reports Of the differences
on hoard the America during the recent
Baldwin-Zeigler expedition to the North
pole as Incorrect
CHEMULPO, Corea.--Rear Admiral
Evans squadron, consisting OF the Ken
lucky, New Orleans, Helena and Weeks
burg has arrived.
ST JOHNS n. F.-The steamer virginia
Lake returned here Sunday from Labrador
and reports the fishery prospect there TO
be excellent
DEAUVILLE, France-Winlam X. Van.
derhilt's Nettle got third place IN the race
for the Prix De La Societe d Encourage
ment.