The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

until he began to think that he knew
all about man an could come as near
maxim one as the Creator himself, God
forgive me for sayin' it. But he didn't
care to do that for he said there were
entirely too many men in the world
now. What he did want to do was
make BRAIN an after three years av
hard study an practicin' he did so. |
can't tell We what he made it av, but he
knew himself Sure. he used to be put
term around in the office all hours av
the night, kapin' me awake whin l
naded rest, for slept in the little room
behint the office.
swell. after the doctor had studied
the ingredients av mans brain until
he knew just what it was made av. he
wint to work mOddlin' one An |
helped him, may God forgive me! He
had studied some phrenology or other
an knew how to fix the bumps. too,
so that his brain would be benivolint
an whin it was done it was as neat
like me own as two peas, barrin' the
difference in size. Ye know what in
fiuence one mind has over another?
Well, this was the principle ON which
the doctor was workin' He intindcd
to work on other mems minds by this
big brain av his'n.
yell be wonderin' how he set it
goin', an that is something I'll not
tell ye. either, for | don't know, but
he figured an figured wild electricity
an the powers av the air until he
rugged up a machine that did the bust
ness, an whin he wanted to set the
thing a-goin' all he had to do was turn
little crank, an the brain began send
In out It's influence, an as it was doz-
en- times bigger than a common mans
brain he figured that he could make
any man do what he wanted him to If
he once got him under the influence
av it,
"Ye mind ovid Lawyer Skinner, him
as whit crazy year ago an decided
away all his money to hospitals an
churches an colleges? Av coorse We
do. Faith, it was the doctor as did
it. May the saints presarve us, yis.
the doctor. AS | told We. this brain
av his'n was made benivolint, like me
own, wild great bulgin' forehead. We
experiminted on a number av animals
before we came to Lawyer Skinner
We know what a close listed man he
was an the riches av him? Well, one
day whin | see the doctor toolin' him
up the stairs | wondered what was in
the wind. but the doctor had every
THING
to me; had checkbook an q lot av
writin' paper an deeds an convey
ances on the cinter table in the room
where the brain was. an pen an Ink
too
"'Just step into the next room the
doctor said all so pleasant as pie, till
look at some papers an thin I'll join
ye'
.Well. the doctor seen the lawyer
seated at the table an thin he turned
the crank, which was out in the room
we were in. an thin we stood an
watched him through the glass top av
the door. First the ovid fellow began
to squirm around in his chair as if
something was hurtin' him. Thin
PEACEFUL EXPRESSION came over his face
an he reached for the checkbooks. He
filed fvry one av thin for poor people
an churches an hospitals. an whin
they were all used up the doctor turned
the power down little an wfnt In an
got thin. Sure an he was cute ore.
was the doctor, for he STINT me out to
deliver thin all before he let the ovid
miser out av the room Next day he
whit around an tried to git his money
back, but the most av 1t was drawed
out, an he couldn't.
But this did not satisfy the doctor,
an SO he tore the great brain to pieces
an began moddlin' another one-the
exact opposite av the benivolint gin
tleman. He picked up low fellow
from a saloon, who was all fight an
niver spoke PEACEFUL word in his life.
''Whin it was done, he set it up an
we began experimintin again. first wild
animals an thin wild men. an at last
came the Obligation av preachers which
caused the trouble.
aye know Thin There was Parson
Whitley av the Presbyterians, Mr..
Wesley av the Mithodists, Rector En-
sign av the Episcopalians, Mr.. Strang
av the Complexities, Dr. Dipley av the
Baptists an one or two others. but |
their names has slipped me mind.
'As soon as they were seated in the |
back room an the current was turned
on thin preachers began arguin' an
thin after awhile to fghtin'. After
watchin' thin for a few minutes the
doctor became frightened at what he
had done an, forgittin all about the
crank, ran in to separate the rivrind
gintlemen.
''There be no made av me teIlin' We
what happened thini
''The influence caught him as soon as
he got into the room. an he pitched |
into the fight worse than any av thin.
Begorra, but it was a fine fight! Och!
How me heart jumped wild joy as / |
watched thin peltin' one another an
breakin' the furniture into kindlin'
wood
''Sez l to mesilf, Wild such pious min
settin' the example there can be nothin' |