Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-01-11
= Facts and Fancies. -

life term lot IN uHulItIsdIeu bore.
1ust now, when gifts to those we leye
Have loOsed the golden stopper
If gives me JOY without alloy
To know ] hold no copper.
Cleveland Plaip Dealer.
She-Mr. Niblack is a very skilIful
golfer. isn't heE"
Ht-''I don't know about that Int he
certainly is a very fluent golfer. "-Phila-
delphia Press.
Mrs. Won Blumer-'-The minister
preached the most touching sermon 1
~ Won Blumer-'How much did ne
raise?'-J udge.
Miss Trill-"I love 70 hear the birds
Jack Downright (warmly}-'sSo DO I.
They never. attempt piece beyond their
ability Ht-Bits.
Cleverton-" Since you have been call
inc on Miss Pinkerly, how have her faith
or and mother treated your
Dashaway-"S l haven't even
met them. Judge.
What was it that the Englishman
saw in his nightmare that made him yell
so fearfu.lyP
1T was either Boer or Fenian. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
First Tfamp-"Did he git anything in
dat house,
Sccoud Tramp-"Naw! ney WIZ dat
sGrt of folks dat believes dat charity be-
gins i'll de woodshed. Life.
Mrs Smithers-"I can't get Willie to
carry in the coal or do anything any
more. | wonder where he is?
Mr.. Smithers-'He's over to Jimson's,
helping their boy carry in their COAL
Indianapolis Sun.
You will. l suppose" said the proud
father to his soldier son, mot hesitate to
bare vour breast before the baiI?'
DO YOU take me for a society queen
father?' inquired the young man, with
some sarcasm.-Judge.
"Oh. we have fighting blood in orr
vensr' exclaimed the grizzled veteran
proudly. My father fought in the War
of 1872; | fought in the Rebellion and
my son John belongs to a college football
team!'-Ohio State Journal.
''Mr. Meekton's wife said yesterday
that she was never going to speak to
You don't say so" exclaimed her hus-
band. rs she angry, or trying TO be con
siderate: Washington Star,
Mrs Al sent my daughter to a
cooking school to fit her for marriage
Mrs. B.-"Was the experiment a sue
cesSF
Mrs. A.-"No; the man she was en-
gagged to found it out. Judge.
Mr. Tightfst-"Tm always willing to
help a deserving unfortunate Here is >
cents; now, don't spend it for drink"
Tramp-"Certainly not. If | don't buy
a ticket to Florida I'll. surely purchase
set of winter lannels. Chelsea GA
zette.
Inquiring Philosopher-'T what do
you attribute the increasing number of
old maids in this section?" Astutc Ma
tive-"I couldn't quite say, but seems to
me as if it might be due to the increasin'
number of old bachelors about here
New York Weekly.
She--"And now a doctor claims that
eating beans Injuries the eyesight"
He-'"Ehere! l always thought there
must be some reason for the Bostonians
wearing eyeglasses!--Y 0nkers States
man.
An Accommodating Chemist. Chemist
Ito poor woman)-"You must take this
medicine three times a day after meals"
Patient-"But, sir, / seldom gets meals
these ard times" Chemist (passing on
to the next customer)-..-Then take it be-
fore them. The King.
ais it a high church?''
Il don't know. How do you tell?"
''Well, by the minister's vestments, for
one thing"
Il guess its a high church. all right
The minister's trousers came only to his
knees the day / saw him. Life.
Ruben Railfence-''Down ter the city,
Sam. did We find ont anything bout what
this here new journalism is that we read
so much abOut?"
Samuel SitanH hittle-'I amt sure but
my opinion is that it's nothin' but them
there bullytin boards. "-Leslie's Weekly.
Charley, dear" said young Mrs Tor
kins don't you think you could find
some race track where the horses are
crooked p
Perhaps"
We'll, I wish you would. You know,
every time YOU play a horse straight, it
loses. Washington Star.
She-Do you thlnk my husband Is
pr0gressve?"
He-'I should say so, l saw him nod
ding in church today"
What's that got to do with his being
progressiveF"
Why, he was moving head. wasn't
heT'-Yo nkers Statesman.
Knox-"We went to see the Cad
ieighs last night and had a most en-
joyable time
Cox-'The idea! Why, they usually
fail dismally at entertaining people"
Knox-"Exactly. We enjoyed our
selves talking about them on the way
home. "-Philadelph Press.
Nancy trying to pick UP some lost
stitches in a stocking)-"Oh. dear! /
can't do this!'' You must have patience,
dear child. Don't you know Rome was
no; built in a day." Nancy Indignantly
IF God made heaven and earth in six
days, l guess it din't take him more
than twenty minutes 20 make Rome. -
Life