The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-12-31
WHAT OH THOU FATHER OF
FORTY FOOLSp'

your most gracious and munificent
Majesty" humbly answered the Cham
berlain, as he rubbed his nose in the
dust. 1t is my painful duty to observe
that the red-wheeled wa gon is no more.
You lost it at poker three nights ago"
'Sdeath and destruction Maybe
you will tell me that my tandem has
vanished from the stables?"
I was about to inform you of that
fact 1t was sold last week to pay the
feed BILL
kind around2"
Alas. no."
Then go out and borrow 200, coo
sequins and buy a dozen horses"
Alas, again; but the Shylocks re-
fuse TO lend"
Then seize them in my name"
But it is not a time of war, and
they cannot be seized"
-LoOk-a-here. Thomas said the
King as he rose from his throne, I
think I'll walk out attended by 100
spearmen. L always did like walk
ing"
90, King of Kings" sighed Thomas.
we have no spearmen. They struck
for their back pay month ago.
Then scare me up dozen bow
same time"
POUNDS and Distraction If I can't
walk out as becomes a king. I will stay
at home and play poker with my cab
But you had all our cash a week ago,
your majesty
UNI I'm! Thomas. am I a king?"
The greatest on earth, your maj
rs there anything on wheels to COM
pare with me?"
Not even an automobile"
And have we any ginger ale in our
I believe there is one bottle left. your
highness."
Then bring it to me and let me
drink 1t While parcel out the earth
among rulers to suit myself, and pro-
claim that but for me the sun would
refuse to ripen cucumbers and the moon
would rip knots off the Hubbard
squashes'
In which is sought to convey the les
son that although a king may find him
self on his back now and then and be
driven almost to despair there is always
hope where there is a bottle of any sort
left to begin anew on.
It happened one day that as the king
rode out he overheard certain remarks
OF the pOpulace. and upon his return
he called his high treasurer to him and
said;
'Josephus. it seems that my people
cnarge me with extravaganza. Bring
forth your account books and LET IFS see
where we stand. I have fattered NV
self that l was living on the wages of a
farmers hired man. and if I have paid
too much for soft shell crabs 1 want to
know it
Your majesty" said Josephus. When
the books had been fetched and opened.
perhaps your subjects referred to this
sum OF 10000 sequins for fish pond in
the palace grounds"
But that lake was made that Won
might fish for bullheads when YOU were
weary of your duties" replied the king
Then here is an entry of $1,000 Sc
gums Tor an artificial waterfall I have
heard the taxpayers complain of that.
But II was not for ME JOsephus 1t
was that you might have something to
gaze at as you wandered forth with
your hands under your ccat-tails
knew you were fond of water, and
gave it to you in large quantities.
But your Majesty expended 100
$50 sequins 70 introduce dwarf pear
trees into Persia, and they proved a
failure"
tbs true. Josephus. but it was for
love of thee. 1 didn't want to see you
breaking your back to reach up so
high after tie fruit You should have
told the people so. Go on"
7 find recorded said the Treasurer
the sum of 10000 sequins for peacocks
ior the palace grounds. have heard
bitter complaints of such extrava-
gance."
1t was extravagant. Josephus. and
z thought so at the time but l loved
thee. and when thou didst say that
thou didst love to be surrounded with
peacocks 7 was willing to indulge thy
whim. The taxpayers ought to be lit
formed that you have had all the bene-
fits. Anything more?''
An item of $4,000 sequins for
grand boar hunt"
Il remember. You felt home-sicl and
discouraged, and I got up that boar
hunt to cheer you up. 1 sat on the
fence most of the time and smoked
nickel cigars"
And a debt of $4,000 sequins for
cabhages imported from America
"Ah. those cabbsges. 1t was you
who spoke of them and sang tbs
praises of sauerkraut and rather than
disaDpoint you, I ordered a ship load.
The cabba ges rotted on the way. hut
was not to blame. Any more
debits2"
.'That is all. your majesty"
"And more than enough. 1t is no won