Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-02-08
JOBSON AT THE THEATER

Mr.. Jobson'S usual method OF taking Mrs
Jobson to the theater Is about as follows:
About a week before the arrival of the
show he looks over the theatrical ads.
'Um," he says to Mrs. Jobson, in a
vague. absent-minded tone. this ought to
be good performance" naming the play.
Maybe we'll CO."
Perhaps there is no actual malice In the
indefiniteness with which he makes this re-
mark, but the fact remains that he always
goes right down to the box Office on the
very next day and purchases two seats for
the performance. He never. under any cir
cumstances. says a word about 1t to Mrs
Jobson, and she has no more means Of
knowing that she is booked for the theater
on certain night than she has of reading
the riddle of the stars.
When the night arrives Mr. Jobson slips
upstairs along toward half-past six, while
MRS JobSon picks up The Star.
MT Jobson nofselessly proceeds to get into
his evening clothes. About half-past seven,
coughing quite loudly, he descends the
stairs with his usual heavy tread and in
full regalia, and only lacking his overcoat
and hat, he walks in upon Mrs. Jobson lin
house jacket and slippers), who is still i'm
mersed in the news, and gaZes at her with
an expression of the most profound amaze
ment
Well" he says to her, raspingly, ARE
you readv?'
''Ready?" inquiries Mrs Jobson, dropping
the newspaper in alarm and gazing at him
in mystified way. Ready for what?'
Ready for what. Mrs. Jobson?" he in
cures OF her, in strained, tense tone
DO you imagine that I'm asking you If
you're ready to accompany me to a dog
fight over at the other end Of the Long
bridge? Didn't I tell you no later than
at the dinner table this evening that
I'd be obliged If you'd contrive to be ready
10 go to the theater with me at a quarter
latest evpninQ7f
Or course, he had never even mentioned
the matter to her once but Mrs. Jobson Is
always too wise under such circumstances
to tell him SO.
While Mr.. Jobson is still in the act of
glarlng at her, and mussing up his hair over
what he calls her failing memory she is
on her way, at a gentle canter, to her up
stairs dressing ROOM After a lapse of
about two minutes from her departure from
the sitting room, and while she is still
washing her hands and face Mr.. Jobson
strides out to the hall and bawls up the
stairway:
Are you ready yet?p
"In just a minute Mrs. Jobson calls
down; and then she, rushes through light
nlng-change toilet such as variety artists
OF that description never dreamed of.
By the time she rushes down stairs to
don her wrap she feels certain that if any
one pin We're to give way she would suffer
embarrassment for the remainder of her
natural life.
On the way to the car Mr.. Jobson growls
because Mrs. Jobson is putting on her
gloves on the street, and he hustles her
along by saying that they might arrive at
the playhouse in time to see the final line
up before the fall Of the curtain on the
last act, and, altogether, Mrs. Jobson feels
as If she is running away from burning
hotel.
Then the Jobsons get TO the theater before
the orchestra plays the overture.
Last week, however In going through the
pockets Of business suit that Mr.. Jobson
had left off that morning to be sent to the
cleaners Mrs. JobSon found two tickets for
a theatrical performance for Wednesday
night of this week. Mr.. Jobson had quite
casually told her about a week before that
he had half a mind to take in that show.
When she found the tickets Mrs Jobson
mentally decided that she wouldn't be
caught again, and that she would for once
give herself enough time to make ready for
the theater.
1t happened that Mr. Jobson got to tinker
ing with a fountain pen that wouldn't work
after he'd finished reading the paper on
Wednesday evening, and Mrs. Jobson per-
ceived that he was SO interested in the job
that he had forgotten ALI about the thea
ter for that night. She didn't mention it to
him. but, at quarter to Z, she silently
trlpped upstairs and began to dress. Mr..
Jobson was SO immersed with the baIky
fountain pen that he didn't notice her alb
sence. At twenty minutes to 8 Mrs. Jobson
arrayed to the limit in every detail, includ-
ing hat, wrap and muff, walked into the sit
ling iooiii where MI JODSOn was still fool
ing with the stubborn pen
Ready" asked Mrs. Jobson
Wha-wha-" Mr.. Jobson started to saw
and then he stopped very short and flushed
very red. He knew that she had found
those tickets and he knew that he had to
do some quick thinking or she would GER
tainly have it on him
Am I ready for what pray?" he in
qu1red coolly, after tremendous effort to
pull himself together. Whats this ali
about? What are you all diked out for?
Where's the joker
why, the theater, you know" said Mrs
Jobson, innocently, eaching into her muir
and producing the tickets
An expression of the greatest surprise
crossed Mr.. Jobsons features.
DO you mean to tell me-" he inquired
taking the tickets from her and looking at
them, that that Internal, pulp headed box
office imbecile gave me tickets for Wednes
day evening, when told him that I wanted
EN- for Thursday EVENING""
So far as getting one on Mr. Jobson IL
concerned Mrs. Jobson has about given n
up. He scurried into his Tuxedo and got
ready for the theater, declaring that he
didn't intend to be chiseled out of 81 on
account of the stupidity of any box-off1ce
man, and. to give his case the finer point h.
lectured the box-office man when he GOT to
the theater for giving him the wrong seats
Mrs. Jobson Is more than ever Convinced
that, II she ever expects % catch Mr. Joh
son mapping under any circumstances what
soever. she'll have to remain I'D all night
to do it. 'eA'