River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-11-06

for one or both within ten minutes,
and had a stout leg above it. Never
theless the proposals were not long
delayed. The count called next day
while the colonel was out and threat
ened to drown himself if Bessie re-
fused his love. When she had fled
from the parlor in surprise he de-
clared that death by hanging would
be his lot if the aunt didn't instantly
say yes. The colonel appeared just
in time to take him by the arm and
lead him into a corner and say:
''See here, old man, you are bluffing
on a pair of jacks. Why in the devil
don't you give yourself fair show?
We may fall in love with a woman at
first sight over in our country, but
we don't scare her to death ten min
utes later. Take it cool and go slow"
"Ah, but how can / when my heart
my heart-?"
eyes; it's bad on the heart, but
you must control yourself. Wait at
least two days before you propose
again"
Count Du Bots followed the party
from Paris to Rome. In the parlor
of the hotel he told the aunt that he
could not exist another day without
her promise, and amidst the ruins of
the Coliseum he told Bessie that he
would dash his brains out against one
of the historic columns if she did not
II
taking an early train, but they were
scarcely installed in their hotel in
Switzerland before the count showed
up to say to the colonel:
From my bosom cannot tear her
image out. She must be mine, mine,
mine. I cannot live without her.
(Which it is, old MANI" queried
the colonel.
'Ah, / cannot tell. Sometimes my
whole soul goes out to the one, and
then again it is the other"
II see. You are in the position of
an Alabama darby who has to
choose between an oreide watch and
a rhinestone pir. Well, go up and see
'em Doth, but don't play any high
jinks."
On the next occasion, as the count
happened to greet Miss Bessie first,
she was the one to receive his propos-
al. Resting on one knee, at her feet
he gave utterance to an appeal calcu-
lated to melt a heart of stone. 1t be-
gan with a defamation and ended
up with a peroration. Subsequently
The count rushed from her presence
to climb the nearest mountain and
fling himself into a crevasse, but two
hours later he turned up on the
veranda with wilted collar to find Col.
Gaylord drinking a mint julep and to
woefully exclaim:
'Mon dieu! Mon dieu. This suffer
ing beyond compares, if she has not
promised to be mine ere the sun goes
down-pouf!"
"Take it easy, old boy" replied the
colonel, as he slipped away at his
drink. (Which of 'em was it that
turned you down this morning."
''The angel from Heaven!" almost
walled the count.
"Then try the other tomorrow. If
you can't get an angel, try for the
next best thing, which is an old maid
worth $4,000 in her own right"
you give me hope-life-happiness.
Now [ exist once more. Now l will
drink julep with you and calm my
self"
When the morrow came the count
sought out the aunt as she sat on a
rock and surveyed the grim mountain
tops. He knelt before her and spoke
his piece The Grafton lasted ten min
utes. She listened calmly, without
either tears or smiles, and when he
rose up she complained that the NUT
ton chops at breakfast were overdone
and not to her liking. The count gazed
at her for moment and then fled, and
half an hour later, when the colonel
met him on the path to the spring he
grimly said:
"Col. Gaylord, would bid you good
by before [ leave this world forever"
Been refused again?" queried the
colonel, as he sat down and offered his
cigar case.
"Mon dieu! Mon dieu!" gasped the
count as he laid his hand on his heart.
'What shall i do-what can [ dc 2" pa
thetically asked the count.
The American studied the toe of his
bulldog shoe for moment, and then
went down into his pockets and fished
up ten-dollar gold piece.
I'D take this" he said, as he extend
ed it.
what! you offer me, Count Du Bots,
money for my broken hearth"
"Or this!" added the colonel, as he
crossed his legs and pointed to the toe
of his right foot.
''You would bride me or kick me,
eh?'' asked the count
That's about it. Whichll you
take?"
'Sir, am Count Du Bois!"
''All the same"
And never, sir-never will 1 be-
(which is it. count?"
Never, sir, will / be l1icked!"
Sensible man." replied the colonel.
as he slipped him the coin. Train
goes at IL o'clock, believe, and I'll
make your adieus to the angels. Take
an extra cigar along with you, and if
you work the con game on any of the
passengers going up, do it like gen
tleman. By-by, and make your skip
Sunny South.