davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Artis. and Islowmnn. .

Artists have many amusing. aud Come
unpleasant experiences when trospas;,-
Ing IN pursuit OF subjects for their art.
when Mr.. Boughton once saw n man
blowing In field, lc climbed the d.
vid!ng wall and began to sketch him.
This was too much for the Involuntary
model, who STROBE up to the artist aud
said, "Do you know what could do
with you!" II haven't the slightest
idea" Mr.. Boughton answered, with y
smile.
Well" the burly plowman said, VI
could cliuclS you into the road" You'd
better not 10 that" Mr.. Boughton re-
torted. why not go back to your
plow, and III whistle for you liz hal;
All hours
To Mr. Boughton's surprise the man
obeycd and half an hour later was duly
summoned to inspect the finished pic
ture. "Ilow much will they give you
for thatY' he asked after crlticnlly
surveying the sketch. "Oh. al,5ut
f10!" the artist answered. "Well
I'm hanged" tho astonishcd plowman
said, scratching his head IN perpleXity.
II have to plow two months before
can earn US much us that. Tit Bits.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19

a lady of high position onsc ven
tured to rcmonstratc with Worth, the
par:sian millincr, because he had
charged her f12O pounds fer ball
dress.
1.-THE matcral," she snid, could he
bought for f2o, and surely the work of
making up would DO we'll puid with Is
more"
''Madamc." replied tho millincr in his
lofticst manner, "go to NJ. Mcissonicr.
the painter, and say to him: Here is
Il canvas, value Il shilling, and here nre
colors, value I sllillings. Paint me a
picture with these colors en- that can
vas and Will pay you one and three
pence What will he say? He will
say, Madame. that is no payment for
an artist \ say more. say, If you
think my terms too high, pay me moth
ing and Keep the robe. Art does not
descend 10 the pcttlncss of the big
glcr.'- London Tit-Isits.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Grc,vsome Football Legend.

Where did football originate? Some
people give ancient Chester, In Eng
land. credit for bringing the great
winter pastimc into existence. There
is a record of football playing in that
city in the year 1910, but Chestrians
believe in u legend OF much earlier
date.
In the tenth century, it Is said, Il
Dame WAS captured and bcheaded by
the citizens Some one began kicking
the head about the Streets others
followed, and it was discovered that
this formed Il new and decidedly fus-
2nating sport. This WAS repeated
whenever possible. but ns enemies
heads became scarccr and the enter
tainlncnt of Kicking them more diff
cult to procure IT WAS at last arranged
"for the shoemallcrs yearly on Shrovc
Tuesday to deliver 10 the draper, In
the presence of tho mayer of Chester,
one ball of l"nthcr. called II football.
of the value of :,s Id. or above"
There is evidently fine precedent
for those concerned In the game "los-
Ing their heads
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Setting Moody Right.

Among the stoif trengured by the
people of New Yorli's east side is one
about Dwight l.. Moody, who once
conducted Il revival meeting at the Al
len Street Methodist church. AT the
close of an unusually eloquent talk
Moody said to his audience, "lSow,
how many persons hero are Christ
tians!
Instantly there was mighty stir,
and every man, woman and child in
the crowded house stood upright
Moody was yisibly impressed and said
In tones of greatest satisfaction, "In
all my thirty five years experience
have never seen such showing"
At the close Of the meeting the pos
tor OF the church took Moody aside
nnd said: II say, Mr.. Moody, you
don't want TO be too pleased over that
Showing. Down here there are only
Jews and Christians and the people
wanted you to understand there
wasn't Jew among them" = New
York Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
OIL rram the rarnni.e.

Tie rarpoiscs killed in winter are
the latest and produce most OIL. The
largest size measure about Z feet III
length, 8 feet in girth and weigh about
800 pounds. Such n porpoisc yields
from six to seven gallons of oil. The
blnbbcr of big porpoisc weighs about
1Go pounds and is one and a half inches
thick in summer and two In winter
The jaws of TIE porpoi,c yicll II su
pcr:or quality of oil When hung up
in the sun. it readily drirs away into
cans provided for the purpose, the
quantity Of oil thus procured, how
ever, bcin:s rot more than half IL pint
To the jaw. The oil from the blulbcr
gives an excellent light and liz in de-.
m;,nd along the coast for lighthouse
use. 1t has, no offensive odor.
Porpoisc Shooting Is followed Mt all
seasons and in all kinds of weather.
On calm summers day the porLuisc
may br heard llow!rg IL mile or two
away II YOU wound a porpoisc and
there are amy sharks around. the shark
is very apt to share your booty with
you even III he doesn't devGur it in toto.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Miracles of Warfare.

Tntil war ceases. which will be the
greatest miracle of all, 1T will always
bc the exhibition ground of miracles
How can a bullet pdncture II mans
coat behind and before or piece his
boot and sock and be grnvcly shaken
out of both without wollnding him!
And what mysterious channel does this
human body contain which leads Il
bullet dcNtcrously around the heart, a
hairs breadth from the seat of life, yet
never rcntling il IL phenomenon vouch-
ed for by more than one nl'lny surgeon!
Shells have burst tllu,,dcrously be-
tween the very legs OF soldiers and left
them still soldiers. pompom shells of
two inches diameter have passed
through legs and arms without slnttcr-
ing the bone or bursting ut the impact,
though There appears TO be literally no
room for such Il lncrciful performance.
In fact, a history of tho escapes In war
would be Wild reading even utter IL
COURSE OF Munchausen.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Xnllcx Forge.

My impression had been that Valley
Forge was wild glen high among the
mountains, where winter frosts and
SHOWS held unrelaxing sway for many
long. dark months every year. But
really Its situution ls neither lofty nor
remote. and the rigors Of the cold arc
not nearly what they would be In our
more northcrly states. Comparatively
little SHOW fnlls, and often there is not
weeks slcighing the winter through
The valley is only twenty-three miles
from Philadelphia. with which 1t has
direct communication by railroad
that skirts along the Schuylkill river
Clifton johnson In Woman's Home
Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
a Ne,y Danger.

A story is told in n ncighboring town.
ahys the Troy Press, of the we'll meant
efforts to do his duty of Il hostlcr en-
plo%cd by local doctor. 1t so happen
ed that the doctor was attending two
cases on the same street, one house
which had just been blessed by an
heir and I'm the other existed slight
ease of Rcnrlct fever.
The doctor instructed his man to
take n contagious disease" card and
tack 1t up on the house where lived the
fever patient. Unfortunately the mes.
scnscr mn<!e mix up in the location
of the house. and what was the aston
ishmcnt of passersby to read en- the
house where coocd lGsty newborn
infant: "Contugious Disease. Keep
Out"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19

Among the coronation peers
will be w. r II Lecky, the histo-
rian and member of parliment for
Dublin university, who will take
his seat in the house of lords as
Lord Lecky of Carlow, where his
landed property is situated MIR.
Lecky has always been troub led
with an extremely delicate consti-
tuition, and it is not generally
known that his inability to with
stand the physical strain of writ
ing in the ordinary way compelled
him to adopt the extraordinary
method of lying on his face on q
bed with a blotting pad on the
pillow, and in that posture he has
written by far the greater part of
his historical works.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
How cloud. Get Their Er,ngc..

Professor Tyndnll used to explain to
popular audiences, with the mid of n
brilliant experiment, that the blue col
or of the sky is owing to iloating par
ticlcs of invisible dust that break up
and scatter the short waves, which are
the blue waves, of light. This, as n
writer in knowledge shows, occurs
principally Mt a great elevation, where
the atmospheric dust is extremely fine,
Willie In the lower regions of the air,
where the dust Is coarscr, the scatter
ing affects all the rays or colors. alike.
The brilliant fringcs of clouds, seen
nearly in the direction of the sun. are
largely due to dust, which especially
accunulatcs in the neighborlood of
clouds and refrncts the sunlight around
their edges.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
She IInd Ir,nr.,,.c.1

Tho Princess Charlotte. daughter of
George ~, was II young woman of
great spirit and originality. Ono day
one of her teachers Glanced to enter
the room when the princess was rcvil-
Ing one of her attendant Indies In great
wrath. and. after giving her lecture
on hasty speech, he presented her with
book on the subject.
y fcw days later he found her Still
more furious and using language even
more violent. Il am sorry to find your
royal highncss in such a passion" snih
he. Your royal highncss hns not read
the book gave YOU"
II did. my lord" cried she tempcstu-
onsly II both read 1t and protitcd by
II. Otherwise 1 should have scratched
her eyes out!"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
when curate. Were wanted.

When one learns that curatcs are in.
creaslng SO much more rapidly than
bcnctlccs, wonder Is excited us to the
condition OF affairs In the eighteenth
century. when entcrprislng ladies' Of
fered livings to clcrgylnen willing to
marry them. An advertisement to this
effect appeared in the London Chroni-
Gle in March, 1853. The lady was rath-
or particular too The curate was to
be young. have small fortune, be we'll
recommended as to morals and good
temper "and DO firmly attached to the
present happy establishment" The
living was not Iich-below f100 per an
nuln-but the fair one wus young und
agreeable There seems touch Of
humility In the direction that answers
"mny be left Mt the bar of the Union
Coffee House. Strand, directed to Y.
a." Confidence was created by the as
surnnce that "the utmost secrecy and
honor may be depended upoE." E."-Lon-
don Chronicle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Where the Color Line Ends.

There may be mulattoes, quadroons
and octaroons. but the eighth blooded
negro Is the last possibility in tllnt pro.
glession. No one has ever aocn. as far
ns we can learn, II human being of one.
sixteenth negro blood. No pure blood.
ed Caucasian and Octoroon have been
known TO have issue. Many years ago
Just after the close Of the civil war,
when Bishop Newman was advocating
the unalsnmation idea In New Orleans.
one Of the most famous physicians un0
ethnologists Of thnt city offered re.
ward of $1,000 to any person who
would bring to his knowledge IL human
being of onc-sixtecnth negro blood. No
one ever cluimed the reward. That
particular product no man has ever yet
found ON earth. From the octoroon the
rcvcrsion to type is the only available
direction. Atlnntn Constitution.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
She knc,v II.

A Philadelphia man thought he
would he more successful than his
Wife In securing servants. So he cut
out number Of advertisements from
the "situations wanted" column Of n
newspaper and started out In cab to
Visit tho various addresses, Tho first
plnc" he stepped at was in front OF a
little house In II narrow street. from
which Il cook hnd advertised. He saw
her and was f;lvorably impressed.
II ann looking for u good cook" he
said.
"surc. an don't OF know it". cx-
claimed the cook. "Ol only left your
house yostid1uy"
lie made Il hasty and undignified re-
treat and decided to allow his wife to
continue in her direction of tho house.
hold affairs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19

When Ellen Terry in her child
hood first impersonated Prince
Arthur in liking John," she left
the stage, after hearing from HUI
dert that her eyes were to be
burned out, with such composure
that Mrs Kean reproved her sew
erely and the little girl shed tears
at the scolding. "Oh,if you can on
ly do that on the stage, what a
Prince Arthur you will bew said
Mrs. Kean. Born actress that she
is, she shed those tears to perfect
ion the next night, and the critics
praised her dramatic force, de-
lightful simplicity, tenderness and
truth to nature.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
A Grand Exhibition 81 Fire
works
Come, enjoy the best 4th ever had in
Harrison county.
All features free to everyone.
General Matt w. Ransom, who

General Matt w. r ,nsom, who
is a confederate veteran and for
mer United States senator, advis-
es northerners to leave the race
problem alone. He said the other
evening before gathering of
North Carolinians in Now York
city that sectionalism is shadow
of the past and added: "Trust it
to the wisdom of her people and
to their sense of right. It belongs
to the south, for it is in her homes
in her religion. What country has
done for the savage what she has
done for the negro? l say to you
men of New York, New Jersey,
Massachusetts, don't rake this
question up again to disturb our
people"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Wlls.r.u.

The earliest mention of wheels In
the Bible is In Exodus xiv. %, when
the chariot wheels of the Egyptians
were taken off by the Lord. But char
lots are mentioned In Genesis xii. 43.
But there were older nations than tie
Egyptians. The Chaldcans used char
lots. and the Greeks IIomer's poclps
date from about 900 B. C.-had char
lots Mt the siege of Troy, 1900 B. @.
Probably in reulity the wheel is about
as carly piece Of machinery as any
now existing. OF course 1t has been
developed, but the bicycle wheel Of to-
day is Il lincal descendant of the Sec
tion of n log of wood used by the ng-
rlcultural peoples thousands Of years
arO
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Baron Henri de Rothschild who

Baron Henri de Rothschild who
is distinguished physician and
q specialist in infantile diseases
not only drives motor cars, but
manufactures them. His automo-
bile business is now to be pushed
forward on new lines. A scheme
has been elaborated under his in.
structions for turning it to phil
anthropic purposes. Next door to
his hospital for children he has
opened motor car factory,and all
the profits of the latter are to be
devoted to the former. He expects
to sell about 100 cars a year. In
this case the hospital will benefit
to the extent of $4,000 per ann
um.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
SALT AND PEPPER.
Many Think They Arc Only of Value
In Sc,lsunins. GOOD.

Salt and pepper, as generally consid-
flavor of the food to which they arc
added. Th: they have any value from
n health standpoint is not SO generally
recognized. You may know that n
lump of salt is good for horse, but
you do not stop to consider how impor-
tant salt is for your own we'll being.
In eastern countries the condiments.
such as pepper, are used to profusion
in nll foods. Gastric troubles common
enough In other countries are conspic-
uously absent, and the free use of
pepper has much to do with that fact
Salt and pepper work against fermcn-
tation. When tho stomach is out Of or
der, or, as the common saying Is, upset,
1t is In state of fermentation.
A certain very wise physician who
has advanced to the point where drugs
mon sense the important in making the
sick we'll Is advocating the use Of pep
per and salt even In q glass Of milk.
1t improves the flavor to q remarkable
degree, fact you can prove TO your
own satisfaction by taking two glasses
of milk. one In its original simplicity.
the other changed by the addition Of a
pinch Of snlt and dash Of pepper,
then sip little Of each. The chances
arc that you will prefer the seasoned
milk. Besides improving the flavor
and overcoming the tendency toward
fermentation tho pepper will pract1-
cally disable any microbes thnt may
be floating in the fluids. Thus tho gas
tric juices will perform their perfect
work of changing microbes to food.
One of the best remedies for n dis
turbcd digestion is hot water to which
have been added salt and paprilla. II
taken full hour and half before
breakfast, a cupful of this very palata-
bic drink will completely cleanse tho
stomach and leave 1t In good condition.
Out of hundred persons selected Mt
random 1t is no exaggeration to say
that eighty cat too much ind also that
these same eighty fail Of proper masti-
cation. Weakened digestions are Of
course the direct result OF overeating
and insufficient mnstication, and weak
cncd digestion means undermined sys-
tens. At the extremes Of life. youth
and old age 1t is wisdom to make the
diet much the same. A childs nourisla-
mcnt should be very simple, SO In OIL
age 1t should grow palmer and palmer.
Chicago Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
A Thousand N,,,,on sn,s

Lord Kelvin once made some inter
estlng calculations of the probable total
amount Of gravtatlon matter in the
visible universe. He showed that II %,
100000 years ago 1,0O0O0o.OoO masses,
each equal to our sun, had been dis
tibuted through sphere about 49,
600, 00,O00,OGo,o00 miles in rudius they
would now have acquired velocitics
about equal to those known to be pos
scsscd by the stars visible to us. There
fore 1t is probable that the total amount
Of gravitationul matter IN the visible
universe does not differ much from
that Of 1,0OO,O0O,O0O suns.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
l,xcessivc poIitencs..

There is IL man who is always apollo
giZing. and some say: Elbow courteous
he is! How thoughtful! A born gen
tlcmnn!" Know that he is thorough
and aggressive cgotist. He runs against
you. he steps on your foot, he tries to
pnss you OH the left, he knocks youl
hat as he hangs by strap in'Ahc car
he sits ON your coattnil- what Aocs he
not do to Gull attention to his OWL
breeding? Sometimes lie throws the
accent on beg" sometimes OH par
don" The speech Is merely rhetorical
flourish. and he has practiccd nll the
variations. Boston journal
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19

A German physician recommends to
consumptivcs the sulphur treatment.
This consists In the patient living in
phur are melted daily on n hot stove.
The first ten days there will be felt in-
creased irritation and cough. These
soon decrease. and Improvement is
rapidly felt, and complete cures arc Of
ten effected IL the disease is not too far
advanced
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
A difference.

One Of the college weekly papers
makes the following comment on the
difference between football at Yale
and Harvard: AT Harvard coach,
being surrounded by literary intlu.
enccs,' must cry, Pierce the line with
Gcrccness. sentlemen!' At Yule n coach
says: Dive into 'em, you Holsters!
Dig in your toes and sock 1t to emf"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Ecrcflts Of the Birch.

Tho cane should never be used as the
ordinary instrument Of school punish
mcnt. A cane may possibly bring
about irrcparablc damage, and Gaming
ON the hands is the most scnsclcss and
cruel form of punishment imaginable.
The birch is the best implement Of
punishment for small boys. First, 1t
hurts; secondly. II applied In reason.
1t docs 10 harm. London Lancet.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Fro.ting Aluminium.

To give q frosted surface to alu-
minium articles remove all grease and
dirt by dipping them in bcnzne. After
this dip them first into solution
strong enough to blacken the metal Of
caustic potash, next into mixture of
two parts nitric and one part sulphuric
acid, then into concentrated nitric ncid
and lastly into mixture of equal parts
of vinegar and water, finishing by
washing them thoroughly in water and
drying In hot sawdust.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
An exchange says that the peopl

An exchange says that the people
who need religion are: The man
who left his horse stand out in
the cold nll day without blanket
on; y man who growls like wild
beast when his wife asks him for
money; the woman who is not
what she ought to be;the minister
who is looking for an easier place
and higher salary; the man who
walks the streets with his hands
in his pockets while his wife car
ries the baby; the man who keeps
dog and says he can't afford to.
take the home paper.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Mice nnd penner,nint.

X. NJ. Nlikhailoff, Russian chemist
has discovered that mice have a pc
cullar dislike to the odor of pepper
mint. lie plnces small plcdgets OF cot
ton saturated with peppermint oil in
openings made by the mice, and they
do not show up for some time. Later
the mice make an attempt to return
but the peppermint oil Is once more
used, and the mice don't came back.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Ram nux. british Loafcr.

A IIindeo bakers assistant in BON
bay. on setting up Ia business for him.
self, bethought him Of catering for the
English community as we'll as for the
native one. With this end In view he
had the following notification painted
over his doorway: Ram Bux solicits
respectful patronage. He is u first class
British loafcr."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Cain pronlc.

Where face is used ON piece Of
money 1t Is always in profile, because
the cameo is more readily struck with
the die in that manner, and If u full OF
face were represented the
nose Of the gentleman or lady would
get damaged in circulation and pro.
duce ridiculous effect.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
When He Prays.

DO you suy your prayersT asked
the little girl.
well. sometimes" replied tho little
boy.
'Whcn?" asked the little girl.
well" returned the little boy, when
Bob an ! get to playin' an maxim an
awful racket while we're goin' to bed
an we hear pop comin' up stairs
two steps Mt time we drop right down
oa our knees an begin to pray, an
when he gets to our door he don't daro
disturb us."-Chicngo Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19

The succession of the new earl
of Stamford recalls an interesting
romance of The British peerage.
His predecessor lived in south AZ
RIGA for forty years, married Zu-
lu belle and practically became
Zulu himself. At his death op-
ponents of the hereditary house
were ill pleased at the prospect of
woolly-headed peer in the house
of lords, but the committee on
privileges of that body found the
rightful heir and the ninth earl of
Stamford in William Grey pro-
fessor of classics and philosophy
in college in the Bardaboes. The
present earl is the son of clergy
man and is best known for his re-
ligious and philanthropic activi-
ties.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Not So Sudden.

Amelia" faltered the young man. II
love you"
"Oh. Herbert" she said, clasping her
hands together. what a long, long
time 1t las taken you to say so"-C'hi-
cagO Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-06-19
Serene Confidence.

81 nm afraid" said the publisher.
shat you are harming your reputation
by the Indifferent work you nre put
ting into this new serial"
Nonsense" answered the self as
sured author. "Even If the work is un-
usually poor the public will take 1t for
couldn't get such stuff published.'-
Washington Star.