Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1902-02-01
WELsHMEN ARE GLAD CAUGHT THE TRAIN.

bill, for he was about TO start for home
home nearly 500 miles distant, and from
which he had been absent a whole month.
It was an entirely new thing in the profes-
sor's experience to be so far away alone.
His wife had always accompanied him on
his former trips and taken care Of him,
for he was very absent-mnded and a mere
child ia many ways. But this time sne
had been compelled to remain at home
and help prepare for their daughters we'd
ding.
II was for the purpose Of attending this
event tnat the professor was now giving
up his researches.
He had postponed his departure as long
as possible There was but one through
eastern train each day. il left Portobeiio
at four o'clock in the afternoon. He must
get this particular train on this particu-
lar day or he could not reach home until
after the wedding
1t was about nine O'Clock in the morning
when the professor paid his bill at the hotel,
and be, therefore, had seven hours to wait
for the train 1t occurred TO him that be
might use this time to good advantage by
going to Whatmere, little town 30 miles
Gown the road, where, he mad heard, there
were evidences Of some interesting deposits.
They told him at the hotel that his train
would stop at Whatmere and that he could
get aboard there just as well as at Porto
bello. Furthermore, if he hurried he had
Just about time enough to catch a local
train which would land him at Whatmere
in an hour.
The professor, full Of enthusiastic antici-
pations, rushed away, made connections all
right, and soon found himself upon the plat
form of the little station at Whatmere.
"Just to avoid any trouble at the last
moment" he said to himself, I'm buy my
ticket now"
Having paid over $37 so for the long print
ed slip that was to give him passage home,
provided that he complied with about a
hundred and twenty several conditions, the
professor hurried away to explore. He had
fine luck, and by two o'clock possessed all
the specimens it would be possible for him
to carry. So he went up to the station to
get his lunch and wait for the train. He had
just bitten into a raw ham sandwich when
he remembered that his trunk was still at
the hotel at Portobello.
The ticket agent suggested that the pro-
fessor hurry out and catch car on the troll
ley line They sometimes made the run to
Portobello in an hour and half, and if he
had good luck he might yet be able TO get
home in time and have his trunk with him.
The professor demanded the money back for
his ticket, and had to take all but four dol
lars Of it in silver, mostly change.
Then he rushed away to catch the trolley
car. Dogs ran e},er him, barking; geese
squawked and wadG.ed out of his way, and
boys shouted afte, HIN, but he didn't care.
He caught the ear and anxiously asked the
conductor how long it would take to get to
Portobello.
Were due at 345" was the reply, "and
well get there on time if there's no delay"
He inwardly cursed everybody that want
ed to get on or off along the way, and once
when a man with a load of potatoes got
stalled on the track in front OF the car the
professor got out and called the driver hor-
rible names and offered to fight with him.
In addition to his other wild performances
the professor wriggled and hobbled around
and mumbled to himself and took queer
stones out Of his pocket and fingered them
neryously, so that the other passengers soon
began tapping their brows and shaking their
heads at one another. They permitted him
to have one end of the car all to himself, and
the conductor kept his hand upon the IRON
rod used for turning switches, so as to be
ready in case of an outbreak Of violence.
When the car was within two miles OF
Portobello there was a sudden fizz and a
fash and then a dead stop. Everybody
jumped up to see what was the matter, and
the motorman, after hasty examination,
announced that plug had been burned out.
TO make matters worse he had no more
plugs with him. The professor jumped up
and down in his frenzy and said things
about trolley companies in general and that
one in particular that only mailman could
utter.
Gritting his teeth and shaking his fists at
the car. the motorman, the conductor and
the passengers, who stood around in won
dering group, Prof. Saphocles Bardsley
started down the road as fast as he could
run.
Up hill and down he went, with his dry
tongue st cling to the roof Of his mouth
and the respiration trickling down his
back. The dust and sweat made little
streaks of mud upon his face, his eyes
bulged out, and as he got into the town peo-
ple began running after him in troops. Some
Of them calling out that he was escaping
from band of lynchers, others yelled horse
thief" and the professor could feel his heart
hammerinp away at his side as if it must
surely jump out of him unless he stopped
to rest.
But he kept on running, and staggered ntC
the hotel, at last, barely able to gasp. The
clock above the clerks head showed that 1t
was IL minutes to four
INV trunk My trunk" the professor
cried ont. Hurry! Trunk! Train Fow
o'clock"
Great heavens, professor the hote
clerk said. whats the matter? Here
help, Prof Bardsley is dying"
The clerk and the porter rushed TOWARD
the professor to support him to a chair but
he struck at them with his fists and KEEP
on yelling Trunk" Train" "Foui
o'clock"
They finally got him crowded up against
the counter. where they tried to reason will
him. but he reviled them and succeeded II
kicking the porter on the shins and splllini
bottle Of ink all over the register. Their
the clerk suddenly thought of something.
Here" he cried, rushing back OF thu
counter and taking letter from pigeon
hole this is for you"
The professor took it, gazed at it in won
der for moment, then tore it open anC