The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-18

to the astonished farmer: Last night
a large body of Beers came to your
house and asked for food. You had
none, but you entertained them as well
as you could with the best you had to
offer"
The farmer for time protested his
innocence, but eventually admitted
that something of the sort had occur
red. Asked afterward how he had ar
rived at the truth of the story, the
staff officer pointed to some over-rtpe
peaches which had been half bitten
through and thrown away, and To
perfect litter of peach stones in front
of the farmers stoop.
Il could see,' he said that some
body had been having a royal feast Of
peaches, and as the man said that
neither he nor his family ate the fruit,
it was evident somebody else had, and
q good many somebodies too. Look at
these rotten peaches; nobody would
bite these except in the dark. so it is
evident that the visitors called after
sundown. A man who derives a GER
tain amount of his income from the
sale of peaches does not usually offer
any amount to even his friends and
the Inference is that the peaches were
given in place of some more substan-
tial food demanded by the visitors
Equally successful, although the task
was certainly far easier was the at
tempt of an irreverent and junior SUI
baltern who. lighting upon an old
camping ground, saw in a dozen empty
champagne bottles and a. few dozen
pate de foie gras pots traces of a GER
tain crack cavalry regiment. and in an
abandoned chest protector indication of
a general staff.
Kitchener stories.
Naturally enough Lord Kitchener is
the center of more than one very good
story
Asked by one of his staff whether he
did not regard the mobile columns I'M
| der his command as the backbone of )
his army, he replied laconically, YES,
they are what one might call spinal
columns"
Few people are aware of the extent
! to which Lord Kitchener "hustles" his
own columns. No sooner does a COL
umn return from trek and report its
arrival in town than a wire something
like the following arrives from the
chief, When will you be ready to go
out again?" The following morning
along comes another wire, why are
you waiting?" followed few hours
afterward by why have you not left?''
Then 1t Is that the column comman-
der, preferring the deadly sniper to
the relentless man in Pretoria, hastens
to get himself out of range of the tele-
graph wire.
airy regiment arrived at Cape Town
and fastened to disembark. The dis
embarkation was carried out success
fully, and the regiment was quarter
ed by nightfall at Green Point Camp.
Early the next morning came clear
line" message from tx" II hope you
sre exercising your horses and men.
shall want you almost Immediately"
To this the commanding officer repli-
ed, Propose exercising horses and
men all day long"
There was an interval of two hours.
then ks" second message came to
hand. what do you propose doing
at night?"
Well Expressed.
Another personality that figures per-
haps in more stories than any other
soldier is Gen. T, whose vocabulary,
extensive and peculiar, Is the subject
of many stories.
In the general advance toward Pre-
toria one of the most polished of our
generals. seeing solitary horsemen
riding about under a heavy fire sent
an orderly to tell "that fool to get
under cover If he did not wish to be
shot. The orderly returned with the
information that he had delivered his
message and tina 1.-THE horseman had
was the intelligence that he was Gen.
T.
The polite general was panied that
he had made the mistake, and asked
the orderly whether Gen. T was
much offended. Much offended STR"
said Atkins gleefully: why he told
me to go-that is to say. sir, he said
you were-well, to tell YOU the trouth,
sir, I couldn't ave said it better me-
self!'
General T is a stckler for disci-
pline and during his term of command
In one of the big Free State towns he
gave strict orders that officers arriv-
ing at the station should report them
selves, either personally to him, or to
his staff officer, or to his A. d. G.
His staff officer at the time was
gentleman by no means favored by
nature in the matter of good looks.
added to which he was a man of mo-
rose and taciturn disposition. The A.
d. c. was a gilded youth with a drawl
and vacant stare.
True to Life.
There arrived in the town COM
manded by the general an officer of
one of the Bushman corps, rough of
language and fearless of gold lace.
1t happened he was taking a morn
ing liquor at the club when the gen.
eral entered, and was passing through
the room in which the colonial stood.
when he noticed that the Australians
face was unfamiliar.
Hi. you, Sir he roared; who the
devil are you?"
The colonial rose and saluted. Capt
J.. Sir he replied: Third Victor
ians."
when did you arrived" demanded
the general.
Yesterday, Sir" was the reply.
why have you not reported your
self to me. Sir?' demanded T., add
ing a rider condemnatory to his lis
tener's visual organs.
The colonial was riled. 81 went to
your office; YOU were NOT in. but saw
two officers" sxAA
who were they?"
Il don't know their Names" said the
colonial.
Describe them. then" said Gen. t.
We'll" said the colonial desperately,
for he had no gift of language. "one
was an ugly-looking devil with a
beastly temper"
Good. interrupted T.. that's my
staff officer
And the other" continued the Aus