Middletown transcript., 1902-03-22


HAH had before him" sci
I'LL Uncle Hiram Remser
S mournfully, "whe
it was cut of, Q
rather blown to bits. The temperanc
people OF our town laid the blame I
whisky. Icouldn't agree with them.
Whisky properly applied | sal
TO Deacon Todges, trying to comfort hir
over his loss, never harmed man Q
beast. But combination of Tom VII
sons Joy produces, nitro-glycerin and
Jealous and eyii-minded snake woul'
bring to sudden end the career of tn
most cultivated bear that ever trod tn
pike to fame
THE deacon had caught the bea
when it was cub and had trained i
carefully in the way good bears shoult
60. There's no denying that he made
q success of his experiment.
'When it approached the period o.
adult bearhood that bear had forgotten
more than any other bear in the county
had ever known. He could appre.
ciate the excellence Of good whisky and
play several games of cards. Besides
that, be would run errands for the dea-
con, act as watchdog at night and see
that the good deacon didn't get the worst
end OF it if he got mixed up in little
scrap Of any kind.
"tOne little fault that bear of mine
possesses the deacon used to say, adj
miringly, though with just little touch
of regret, but 1 haven't the heart to
blame him, seeing how few men who
pretend to intelligence can ever be taught
to play the national game properly.
s'But if the bear was Exhibit A in
the ursine family, Tom Wilson's pet
blacksnake could cash in nearly as well
at his own game. A good many people
thought the snake knew as much as
Tom himself did. OF course, Tom
wouldn't quite agree to this proposition.
But he was monstrous proud of that
snake, just the same.
Poor Eve,' Tom used to say, in sort
of q regretful manner. IF the original
serpent in the Garden had the intelli-
gence Of this cultivated animal OF mine,
I don't wonder she yielded to tempta-
tion. Ever since began to appreciate
the ability Of properly trained snake,
/ have felt that she had been blamed
too much for that apple affair
'The good old deacon, thinking that
he really needed little stimulant to
keep himself in condition for doing his
duty in an efficient manner, used to
drop down to Toms tavern quite fire.
quently in the evening. Naturally he
took bis cherished bear with him.
Ordinarily the snake was asleep in
the back room in the evening. But
one night he happened to be perform
ing in the bar room when the dea-
con and the bear came in. After the
snake had fnishes. his exhibition al
most every one applauded.
tThe snake swelled out what chest
he had and looked proud and happy,
like snake who has done his duty
and more than his duty. But the
deacon shifted sort Of scornful.
"'For crawling reptile he said
like, I'm not denying that
snake of yours does fairly we'll. But
Of course, he is not to be mentioned .
in the same breath as my bear when
t comes to real animal intelligence Ii
"Tom Wilson sneered at this and |
allowed that the only place where g
here was any belief in the bears G
lbility was under the deacon's own i
llt. In
: "A good bear, well-meaning BEAR
le observed, scornfully, Tut for true 4
ulture not to, be mentioned with my Z
make
'The deacon was almost dazed with
Ionest indignation at this attack on 8,
he pet he cherished like a son. He =,
lowed that the snake wouldn't be h
ne, two, left at the post, if the bear h
sally showed what he could do.
ITO make things interesting he put e.
P. -a pretty good wager with Tom 4,
Vifson on the relative merits Of the Il
eaS pnd snake. Then be cleared anil q
pen place on the floor and put the /.
ear through his tricks. n
81 don't know that the bear was j.
ally any smarter than the snake. al q
lough, of course, their talents Law in ~
Herent directions. But everybody
yes a good bear and maybe that 90
-ejudiced the boys little. At anv
~ "nen 'ue Dear nnisneo' the unar- pl,
zen beaten.
Tom paid over the bet, thought he nj,
dn't show any cheerful alacrity about ~
ling it. The defeated snake crawled -,
Vay in an humble manner. But there e.
IS look in his little beady ewes -,
at didn't promise any Christmas 90,
esents for the bear If Mr.. Snake
er saw any chance to get even.
"a couple of days later Tom Will th,
q went to corner of the barn where nIe
had some nitro-glycerin stored. The 81,
axe was lying on the floor. Tom, lao
ing sort of vexed at the snakes defeat on,
the former night, aimed kick at it
Instead Of making violent effort . :,
dodge the kick, the snake stuck ~,
I his head and took the kick there. -,
zen he crawied away after the man .
r of snake who didn't want to be .ro
;ked, but would prefer being kicked Co.,
the head to subieeting his body to ;no
y iolts by hurried crawling. Tom was ow s
ghty puzzled. ~.
'Why, instead Of taking that kick
the body where it wouldn't hurt
u, did that snake stick out his head?'
m observed to himself. And why
he crawl AWAY IN that nort;o,,. are