The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-05-02

shall leave YOU (pause): Attentive
Nephew (eagerly)-Yes. aunt? Aunt
Before :long.--Punch.
*.Minlster-I am sorry didn't seesyou
at church yesterday, Tummasf8un-s
mas-Weel, ye see; it was siccan wdt
day it wisna fit tae turn cot a dog in.
But sent the wife, SILK.
Prince Henry-What is this ''stren-
>uous life'' that l hear of in America?
Ambassador-Wait till you get through
with the hand-shaking, and then youth
know.-Town Topics.
Counsel for the Defendant (sarcasti-
cally)-You're a nice fellow. aren't
you? Witness for the Plaintiff (cor-
dially)-I am, sir, and if I were not on
my oath I'd say the same of you.-Tit-
Bits.
Mistress-Do you know, Carter, that
can actually write my name in the
dust on the table! Carter-Faith, mum,
that's mole than can do Sure there's
nothing like education, after ALL
Punch.
would you rather have something
else than piece of cake?" asked the
kind neighbor of little Freddie, who
had run an errand for her. Eyes,
ma'am," said Freddie, promptly; Il
would rather have two pieces."-Ex.
Beggars Can't Be Choosers.-Aunt
ADMINISTRATIVE yew ashamed ter KUN
around here beggin'? Onniz Way
Well, dis amt very 'risterkratic
neighborhood, fer fact. but we
cago News.
EXPERIENCES in Law: Judge-Have the
letters been duly examined by the
handwriting expert? Prosecutor-Ies,
your honor. Judge-Very we'll, let the
handwriting expert now be examined
by the insanity expert.-Ohio State
Journal
; He planning an elopement)-And at
twelve you sneak out of the house and
meet me at the corner l won't have
a carriage, as We must be as economi-
cal as possible. She-Oh. I've made
papa promise to pay for the carriage.
-Tit-Bits.
"Say, pop" said little Patsey Gegan
over his lessons. whats 'f-a-c-i-l-e'?"
did We niver hear tell O. the shtuff
that swell wimmin puts on their COM
plexions?" replied old Gegan; "what
ilse would it be but face lie ?''-Phil-
adelphia Record.
did youse git anything?" whispered
the burglar on guard as his pal emery
ed from the window. ''Naw,. de bloke
wot lives here is lawyer" replied the
other in disgust. f'Dat's hard luck"
replied the first; Ibid youse lose any
t'ing?'-Ohio State Journal.
His Greatest Acbievement.--"And
now tell me-" said the teacher, what
George Washington did that made him
great. see your hand raised, Arthur.
What was it," :'Crossed the Della
ware standin' up, and didn't rock the
boat" -Chicago Record-Herald.
Il found eighteen umbrellas in the
church yesterday" said the sexton to
the minister, after a rainy Sunday.
"Oh, WE'LL" said the dominic, take
them to my study; they are probably
intended as contributions to the con-
science fund" -Yonkers Statesman.
The Book of Snobs.-First Swell
pretending to mistake for waiter a
rival whom he sees standing in dress
clothes at the cloak-rosm of the thea
ter)-Ah, have you a program? Sec
ond Swell (up to- nuff)-Thanks, my
man; got one from the other fellow.
Eek.
TO One About to. Step Cff.-The Dad
dy-Let me give you bit of advice,
my dear. To man, the heart of the
woman he loves Is like an; oil coun-
try. The Daughter-How can that<be.
pa? The Daddy-The interest is in
tense only so long as there is pros
pect Of new discoveries.-Life.
Gentleman Ito yokep-Well John.
did: you. give the marquis my note?
Yokel-Yes. sir; but it's no use writ
ing letters to him. He can't see to
read them. He's blind-blind as a
bat! Gentleman-Blind? sYokel-Yes..
sir, blind, Twice he asked me where
my hat was. and had it on my head
all the time.-Tit-Bits.
Hostess ito guests, who have come to
spend asfew dayS-We're SO glad
you've been able to come, Mrs. Gush-
ington; but do hope we are going to.
have better weather, Or I'm afraid
you won't enjoy yourself much. Mrs.
Gushington-Oh, but, my dear Lady
Boreham, we didn't come here to enjoy.
ourselvess@ We came to see YOU
Punch. ~
In washington. D. C.--Down Penn
sylvania avenue came a tattered and
torn man. His eyes were BACKED, his
nose was bleeding, and his cheeks
were bruised, while he limped pain
fully, and had one arm in a sling. Did
the astute detective WHO observed him
stop him and ask which direction the.
footpads had taken?ssNot he. He safd:s
"Good morning, Senator" Baltimore
-. tE.rsA 5Af