The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1902-05-13
WASHINGTON IN LIGHTER VEIN

When the Lacey bill to protect the
birds was on passage Cummings made
a speech in favor of it. He told a story
about a robin he found one morning in
the Capitol grounds, wounded and help
less, lying on the grass.
Il took it up" said Cummings, land
carried it to my room. There | gave it
q few drops of brandy
There were tears in his voice as he
continued:
"But, alas, it was wounded too griov-
ously. 1t died.
L don't wonder broke in Represen-
tative Shattuc. IF the brandy you gave
it was the same kind you gave me when
| called on you the other evening".
The House roared with laughter, and
Cummings, after ,ioundering for a few
minutes, sat down.
THE mearest thing ever said about
anybody in Congress was Tom Reeds
remark about DolliVer.'' said Repre-
sentative Steele. Reed was talking
about candidates for Vice President and
said:
There's Dolliver. Now, Dolliver is
a Vice Presidential impossibility."
While Senator Lodge was making his
elaborate explanation of the Major
Gardener incidents Senator Culberson
recalled ex-senator Pettigrew's remark
about Lodge.
Lodges mind" said Pettigrew, ere
minds me of the soil of New England
impoverished, but highly cultivated"
Representative Williams, OF Missia-
sirpi, has a new negro story.
Are you the d~efendant?" asked a
man in the court room, speaking to an
old negro.
no, boss" was the reply, Il amt
done nothing to be called names like
that. Use got a lawyer here Who does
the defensing.'
''Then who are you?"
Use the gentleman what stole the
chickens.
A day or two after Representative
Cushman delivered his memorable roast
in the House declaring that there was
too much power vested in the Speaker,
Gen. Henderson took an afternoon off to
witness the opening baseball game of
the season. The Speaker noticed the
umpire seemed to be running the entire
game and facetiously remarked:
well. I suppose if Cushman was here
he would object to the umpire running
his game
The slim and energetic Congressman
from the Pacific Coast heard of this re-
mark.
'Oh, I remember once" observed
CUshman nonchalantly, as he blew out a
wreath CT cigar smoke, seeing a base
ball umpire mobbed. He thought he was
running the game, but before it was
ended he found that instead of running
the game he was running from the
game
Cushnan arose and sauntered out with
out celebrating on the moral of his com
parison between the Speaker of the House
and the umpire, says the Washington
Post.
Senator Hanna likes good things to eat,
but sometimes he has indigestion. This
afternoon he was at luncheon in the
. Senate restaurant, when Senator Bur-
rows came in and sat down beside him.
Hanna looked up.
do you know" he said, q have one
ambition in life-an ambition that is
paramount to all others?"
The Presidency" asked Burrows
good-naturedly.
No" said the Senator.
Well, what then go
Il should like to eat everything the
palate could wish, the finest dishes that
could be prepared, and
Here Hanna stopped.
And what?' asked Burrows.
Il should like to have the work of di-
gestion devolve upon some Democrat"
One of the Western members has re-
ceiVed a p~oetical request from one of the
little girls in his district for some seeds
She subscribes herself as only eleven
years old, and drops into verse as fol-
low;
"Howdy, Mr.. Congressman. plite as you
can be,
wish you'd bundle up some seeds and
send EN- rund to me-.
I'd like a lot of large Petunias, with col
ors SO intense,
TO decorate the pathway from the door
way to the fence.
I'd like some Star Phlox and Canterbury
Bells SOS to beautify the scene.
And a lot of Double Balsam to be iovial
and green.
Send around some Cobaea Scandens tic
make the window CAV.
And perhaps we'd start a patch of Double
Zinnias right away.
We ought to have some Holyhocks to
help things out a bit.
And japanese Chrysa0theIuums would
surely make a hit.
And II, perchance, there ares some things
that we have quite forgot.
Just put EN- in a bundle, and we will
take the lot.
And III vote for Won riet1t freoIv and