Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-12-06
FOOLS ERRAND

There Is certain professional man the
greater part of whose career was passed in
Washington, but who has made his home in
New York for the past couple of years, In
whose hearing 1t hasn't been exactly safe
to allude to Turkish baths during the past
couple of weeks. His friends have been
taking chance, nevertheless, on abiding
to it whenever they have met him, with
the result that the professional man has
been in a more or less constant state of
ferocity ever since the occurrence of the
incident which has made any allusion to
Turkish baths abhorrent to him.
One afternoon, a bit over two weeks ago.
the professional man attended, in New
York, luncheon arranged by his fellow
workers in honor of one of their number
who had attained particular eminence in
his field. 1t was one of those professional
mems luncheons peculiar to New York.
that begin about noon and last with the
speechmaking, until 5 or o'clock in the
afternoon. The fact that such 1uncheons
are given during the more decorous hours
OF the twenty-four rarely tends to lessen
their hilarious riotousness, and this par
ticular luncheon Of professional men was
an unusually lively affair from the begin
ming. the men taking part in it belonging to
what might be called a lively profession.
Washington was. by the time the breaking
up hour arrived. one Of the most jubilant
and joyous of the lot. He Is a pretty con-
servat1ve citizen, and not man to engage
In registering. except on the very rarest oc-
casons. But this happened to be one of the
occasions, so that when he left the lunch
con al its breaking up he was in more of a
maze than he had been In for at least two
years, or since he left Washington to reside
In New York.
He appreciated the shape he was In, and
he jumped into a hanson to ride around a
bit and gain an opportunity to compose him.
seif and collect his decidedly scattered
thoughts.
While riding about in the cab an idea
struck him. What he needed. he said to
himself. more than anything else in the
world was Turkish bath. He stuck his
mead out of the cab window and directed
the driver to convey him Immediately to a
Turkish bath that he had patronized good
deal in Washington while living down here.
the cabman of course. shook his head and
said that he didn't know that particular
bath This information both astonished
and grieved the x-Washingtonian. Not
know IS Turkish bath? How had the
caoman been spending his life. anyhow
camping out? The professional man added,
rather sardonically, that he thought every
BODY In Washington knew where IS Tur-
kish bath was The cabman Of course re-
piled that New York didn't happen to be
Washington. The professional man came
back with the remark that New York was
out of luck for that very reason. He fol-
lowed this UP with the declaration that he
was going to have a Turkish bath at IS
place and no other. and directed the driver
to take him to the station from which the
first train for Washington was leaving.
He caught an express that was leaving
Jersey City for Washington, and the in
slant he pumped himself into his parlor
car chair he fell asleep. He didn't awaken
until the porter's cry of ''Washington!'
sounded in his ears. He was probably the
tnd ma For oh min &c
that ever rode into Washington on train,
but after rubbing his eyes and thinking it
over for that space of time he finally
vaguely remembered that his purpose in
coming down from New York to Washing
ton was to take Turkish bath.
He was game, however, and so he took a
cab, had himself driven to the Turkish
bath and spent the night there He was
still bit confidential by the time he reach
ed the hot room. and so he foolishly told
number of old Washington friends whom
he met there how he had Travelled the little
matter of go miles between New York and
Washington for the purpose of getting
bath. By this time he wishes he had kept
quiet about it. for several scores Of his
Washington friends who have heard the
story have been writing him ribald letters
about it ever since, his chuns in New York
know all about it, and a man recently back
from the big town tells how misera BILE they
are making his existence.