Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-07-03

DOyle- -AIeu YOU jealous of the QO0.
New York Sun.
Cause for Worry. Aunt Sadie-J to..
Robert Is an awfully careless fall0r,
heard him say that he dropped s0On
on the street yesterday !-Brooklv,
Life.
Eff Gabrul wuz ter blow his trumue,
ter-morrer, some er de fault.6ndo,,
would rise en- tell i'm dat his musIc.l
eddication had been neglected.-Atlan.
ia Constitution.
Upgardson-Among the fraternity n,
professional musicians | consider
of professional mn.
sicians! Don't talk nonsense, old man,
Chicago Tribune.
Borem-Now, what would YOU do -
you were in my shoes, Miss Cutting,
Miss Cutting-I'd point the toes TO-
ward the front door and give them
start.-Chicago News.
He-Mlss Wadsworth is rather man.
nish. isn't she? She-Exceedlnglyl
Why, she'd rather pay cents more for
an article than go into a department
store to buy it.-Puck.
whats a wreck, pop?" "a wreck
my son, is a disaster on the water"
Not always, pop; there's old Rednose,
he's wreck, but water had nothing
to do with it."-Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Kawdle-I wish you wouldn't In.
terrupt me every time | try to say
something. Do ever break in when
you are talking? Mrs. Kawdle-NO
you wretch! You go to sleep.-Tit.
Bits.
Have the letters been duly exam.
ined by the handwriting expertT "Yes,
your honor" Every WELL let the
handwriting expert now be examined
by the insanity expert Ohio State
Journal.
Boarder (warmly)-Oh, know every
one of the tricks of your trade Do
you think | have lived in boarding
houses twenty years for nothingl
Landlady tfrlgidly)-I shouldn't be at
all surprised.
Visitor-What are you crying about
my little man? Little Willie-All my
brothers have holidays, and have
none. Visitor-Why, that's too bad
How is it? Willie between sobs)-I
don't go to school yet.
conductor said in tone of great
severity to a passenger who was max.
ing considerable disturbance on a car:
Remember, sir, that you are on pub
lie vehicle, and you must behave as
such.-Lippincott's Magazine.
"Yes, am opposed to American girls
marryn' furriners," said old Mrs
Sipes. Pm just that opposed to Il
that If my girls can't marry people Of
their own sex they needn't marry at
all, and that's all there is about it"
Flanagan-Hivins, man, phawt's the
matther wild yer face? flanagan
| Faith, twas an accident. The Ould
woman throwed a plate at me. Flana-
gan-An' dye call that an accdentl
Hanagan-Av coorse! Didn't she bit
phwat she aimed at?
Hojack-My wife only writes to me
once week while she is away. Tom
dik-Mine writes regularly three times
n week. Hojack-She must be very
fond of you. Tomdlk-She is; anC
then only send her money enough t.
last two days at time.
a Question of Privilege: Mistress
(after a heated discussion with argu
mentative cook)-Are you the mistress
of this house, should like to know
Cook-No, ma'am, ain't,-but-'
Mistress triumphantly)-Then don
talk like an idiot!-Punch.
Did you git anything?" whispers
the burglar on guard as his pal emers
ed from the window "Naw de bloK
wot lives here is a lawyer" replied tn
other in disgust. Oats hard luck,
replied the first; "did you lose any
fing"-Ohio State Journal.
Sharpe-On his birthday before thel
marriage she gave him a book ent
tied "a Perfect Gentleman" Whealto
ANY change after year of marie
life? Sharpe-Yes; on his last brit
day she gave him a book entitle
wild Animals Have Met."-Tit-B BIZ
Intimate Friend-The assessor hasn
listed your property at one-tenth
what it is worth? Then why don
you increase your assessment volul
tarily? Millionaire-l did that la
year. and everybody said was NAL
ing a grandstand play for popularit
Chicago Tribune.
Lieutenant Ito his orderly Bring n
a beefsteak and poached egg. Order
iseunl yense me, lieutenant, but haven
S Y prgotten that you are to dine
~. Q at Countess Stingely's? Lieute
ant@chat so. had forgotten
J Bring me two beefsteaks and tV
! poached eggs!-Ex.
Mike" said Plodding Pete, "l'
goin to join one o. desc here forest
associations" whats dem?" lnqu
ed Meandering Mike. "Dey're to pl
! vent do daStruot;oo 80 40 fnractS