davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
THE SCOOP
FIEND
By ]. o. wHITTEMORE
oopwsont, 1901. BY J. o. Whaten.ors

The Morning Blazer was about to go
to press. The nnotypes were clicking
frantically on the last takes, the fore
man was dancing about the last form,
and from below foated the babel of
the newsboys' room and the rattle of
the delivery wagons in the alley. The
last reporter had struggled out, and
none of the brain of the paper was on
hand except Gilroy.
Gilroy was the night editor, and he
was anything but at peace in his mind.
"a bum rag this morning bum
rag! Nothing but rot and rot-not a
line Of hot stuff But there's nothing
doing nothingr'
Gilroy had worked hard and worked
his men harder to get out creditable
sheet, but the results were disappoint-
ing. He was viciously jabbing the
cockroaches upon his grimy desk with
his shears when some one gently
nudged his elbow. He wheeled around
and faced strange figure, a face
drawn and haggard with pallor which
brought muttered dope eatery from
the editor-a form attenuated, clad in
seedy and shining black, with a minis
terial coat tightly buttoned at the
throat; shifting eyes beneath an old
SLOUGH hat. 1t looked like clear case
of touch" and Gilroy was bracing
himself for It.
The man, with trembling hands, drew
from an inner pocket several sheets of
manuscript, and as he smoothed them
carefully he spoke in nervous. hurried
tones, with a tense undercurrent of
anxiety:
Its a scoop. sir-'pon honor. dead
scoopl Police don't know it. No one
knows 1t but myself mean-er. Give
me V, and it's yours = exclusive
Only v, sir; worth double, sir"
Gilroy's eyes were running down the
lines at lightning speed as with the
practice of years he absorbed the story.
1t was admirably written in an odd,
but legible hand, with all the earmarks
of an old reporters copy. The story
was of a murder which had been COM
mitted but an hour before in an alley
directly in the rear of police head
quarters. A Waterman had been found
with his throat cut from ear to ear.
The dead man Gilroy knew to be an
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

81 had business in the far west last
winter" said a Boston lawyer the 9th
er day, land while was stopping in
small town for day or two man wal
tried for stealing a horse. l went over
to court to see how they put things
through and closely followed the evil
dence on both sides. There wasn't the
shadow of doubt in my mind that
the prisoner was guilty. and that even
ing l said to his lawyer:
"'You'll lose your case tomorrow.
The jury must certainly convict
"'Oh, don't know, he replied.
"'You don't hope to get him off, do
your
r "'Well, maybe not, but there'll sure
ly be a disagreement
81 shouldn't count on that if had
the case
But do, you know he replied.
I've got two brothers-in-law on the
jury. and you don't suppose they are
going back ON the family, do your
"They didn't" laughed the narrator.
"Next day the case was closed. and the
Jury disagreed"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
| SENT BY
| PROVIDENCE
49,. By MAY REED
Copyright, 1901, by
A. s. Richardson
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

For forty years Jacob and Hannah
Matthews had been man and wife, and
for forty years Hannah had been ia
cob's slave. She started in to love,
honor and obey" He held her only
to the obedience, and she never got
away from that. He thought for her,
spoke for her and acted for her, and
after year or two she wouldn't have
dared to darn one of his socks without
first asking him how much yarn she
should take. Even when the husband
boxed her ears. which he did occasion
ally, she took it meekly, and when she
broke dish and was put on a diet of
bread and butter for a week, with the
butter spread very thin. she never
thought of helping herself to anything
more.
The wife died as she had lived. 1t
didn't cost him a cent extra, and it
didn't take up any of his valuable
time. One day when he was down In
the potato patch she felt that her time
had come. and she lay down on the
lounge and closed her eyes and died.
AS he was sixty-five years old when
he became a widower and reared an
eight dollar zinc headstone above Han
nah's grave it was the general talk
that he would not marry again. His
demeanor corroborated that idea, but
he was only lying low. Scarcely two
months had passed when he called on
Aunt Sarah Weldon one day and said:
"Aunt Sarah, have been wondering
whether l ought to marry again or not.
but Providence seems to have settled
the question. / want to see if you
agree with me-"
II don't believe Providence has
anything to do with old fools taking a
second wife," bluntly replied Aunt Sa-
rah, who was widow of sixty and
always said just what she thought.
II am sorry you have such poor
opinion of me-" replied Jacob, but
must insist that Providence appears to
have hand in it. You know Susie
White, of course? l am going to ask
her to be my wife"
why, she isn't eighteen years old
yetP' exclaimed Aunt Sarah.
II know, but you see can be ia
Their as well as husband to her. Prov
idence seems to have had hand in
her father losing his farm and her
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09


when you take up a residence in the
City of Mexico" said an American who
had lived there for several years. you
are waited upon by the police, who
ask you how many beggars may call
at your house every morning and re-
ceive a dole Your answer is recorded,
and only the number of beggars men
toned dare show up. had my brother
with me at the house, and our answers
10 the police differed somewhat. Two
weeks after their call a messenger
came on an errand and inquired for
Jones.
"'Which JonesY l asked
"'Senor,' he replied, I know that
there are two of you-the Jones-you-
can-send-along- about eight-of-'e m and
the Jones-I-won't-feed- -cussed-
'em, and the Jones l want is not the
first
""Then, as Pm the one who said eight
beggars might come around. you don't
want me-
ut cannot be. 1t is the I-won't-feed.
a-cussed- one-of- 'em-Jones / want
:" But he is not in just now. Can you
leave your message with meY
"'Si, senior Tell you him when he
arrives that if he n't-want-to-feed-a
cussed one of 'em he-can- go-to-biazes-
nd-be-hanged-to-h
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

The household blessed with noble
daughters ought to be happy one.
Most parents forget, however. to i'm
bue them with love of nature, which is
80 invigorating and healthful. Give
them not only noble teachings, but
noble teachers, and give them the help
which alone has sometimes done more
than all other infuences-th help Of
wild and fair nature. You cannot bap-
tie them rightly in inch deep church
fonts unless you baptize them in the
sweet waters which the great Law
giver strikes forth from the rock Of
your native land. You cannot lead
them faithfully to those narrow, ak
hewn church affairs while the azure
affairs in heaven remain for you with
out inscription-al affairs built, not to, but
by. an unknown God.-Ruskin.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
A witty Conductor.

The street car conductor with a tai
ent for repartee of the neat and pol
ished order is rare, and note should be
made of him when found. A dissatis-
fed passenger found one out in the
neighborhood of Bronx park last week
when two women who had been trying
to get to the geological show COM
planned of the difficulty they had had
in eliciting any information about its
whereabouts.
eyes, madam" the dissatisfied man
a stranger to them-chimed in; Il can
quite sympathize with you. The fact
is, / don't believe these conductors
know the difference between botanical
gardens and geological doubt If any
of them could even tell monkey from
a man."
Fares, please" said the conductor,
interrupting the conversation just at
that point. Fares, please. None Of
our business what you are SO long as
you pay your fare. TwoY'-New York
Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
GASKlLL'S COAL OFFICE
Washington st.. Mount Holly. NJ.
LEHIGH COAL ONLY
Masou's and Builders Supplies.
Drain Tile Land Lime ~e-ra~nfte PFC
MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
A Case of Well Developed Nerve,
Coupled With wit.

EQUIPPED Win WIZ
There is absolute wit in some mems
herve," said business man to re-
porter. my partner and l, with the
Intention Of expanding our business,
about year ago decided to send rep
tesentative through the south. We
booked over the field carefully and
finally picked out young man who
was possessed of good address and
who, we felt sure, would do the work.
HE had been convivial In former
days, but his department had been
such for year that it made US feel
eonfident he would do the proper thing.
He was given $500 for expenses and
was started out on the mission. 1t was
the understanding that he was to make
daily report of his efforts.
'Two months passed by, and we new
er heard from him. We telegraphed
repeatedly to different towns that were
pm his itinerary. but not word could
be learned regarding his whereabouts.
Finally one day a hurried telegram,
collect, came 1t read:
II am not selling many goods, but
am making fine impression. Wire
800 quick
1.-THE nerve of the fellow got our
nerve. and, do you know, we wired him
the 500. and afterward he made good.
We have never asked him what he did
during the two months, and he has
never preached the subject to us. It
was the wit that pleased us. Wash
ington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Many names of towns in England
have been appropriated for a similar
use in this country. These names fire.
quently indicate in themselves the ORR
gin of the tcwns. For instance, names
ending in chester" or "cester" or "cas-
ter" such as Dorchester, Worcester and
Lancaster, undoubtedly apply to sites
of old military settlements or camps,
and the termination Is derived from
'castra," the Latin word for camp.
If the name of place ends in "coln,"
like Lincoln. then it, too, is Of Roman
origin, because the Latin word for col
ony is coloria. When the syllable ''by"
ends the word. like Rugby. we then
know that the Danes are responsible
for the name, for the Danish word for
town is by.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Women who are the possessors of
fine black hair are emotional and of
very sensitive nerves. Coarse black
hair is said to denote great energy.
but an unenviable disposition. Won
en- who have brown hair make the
best wives, for they are almost invari
ably full of sentiment. impassioned,
high strung" loyal and easily af-
fected. Red haired people ale nearly
always keen in business transactions,
quick of percep tion, high tempered and
witty. The woman who has blond
hair is impulsive and loving, but usu-
ally tickle. although an agreeable COM
panion.-Pittsburg Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

The question is often asked, At what
time of day should fruit be eaten? In
tropical countries, where fruit is the
chief article of food, the rule appears
to be that the earlier In the day it is
taken the better and the later the
worse. In hot weather many wise
people will eat none after noon, alleg-
ing that the digestion then declines in
power with the decline of the day and
the fruit, instead of digesting, decom-
poses owing to the presence of the sac
charine matter. The objection to fruit
and certain kinds of vegetables late IN
the day, be the explanation what it
may, is certainly justified by an ample
experience though some persons can
eat fruit at all hours without feeling
any inconvenience.-Table Talks.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
Breaking a Custom.

At one time if Japanese girl mar
ried foreigner she was instantly de-
capitated. A Portuguese gentleman was
probably the first European to marry
a daughter of the land of the chrys-
anthemum with impunity. He went
there years ago and fell in love with a
Japanese girl. Her parents warned
her of the fatal consequences Of mar
rying him, but she persisted, with the
result that the mikado decided that
she must be beheaded. However, after
a correspondence of over five years.
duration between the Portuguese and
Japanese governments she was permit
ted to live
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

First Caddie-I saw We carrying for
the minister, yesterday, Donald. What
kin o. player is he?
Second Caddie- Man, he'll never maxi
a gowffer! Dye ken what he says
when he misses the ba'?
First Caddie-No; what does he say?
Second Caddie (disgustedly) = tut,
tutr-Glasgow Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

outdoors and sat down on the grass to
get his breath, and he was fishing for
it when Aunt Sarah Weldon drove past
with her old white horse and called
out:
Eyes, Jacob, I'll go as far as to say
that Providence works in mysterious
ways, and if them ways are jerky and
wabbly and full of collie we've got to
grin and bear it and be thankful we
wasn't drowned in the cistern when
we was babiesp'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
To TAKE Ont Ink Quickly.

Clerks and others who write in their
shirt sleeves are often annoyed by get
ting their immaculate linen ink stained.
If the stain is allowed to remain until
the garment reaches the laundry, the
process of washing will produce an
indelible brown mark, but for a few
cents any writer can guard against
annoyance and loss of this kind, for a
little chlorinated soda will remove
every suspicion of ink stain almost in
simultaneously. 1t is only necessary to
rub the soda in and then rinse or wash
it out with few drops of water, and
all trace of the ink is gone. But the
remedy must be applied Immediately
after the accident to be effective.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

The town of Leonberg, in Wurttem-
berg. is known as the ''town of moth
ers," for there the mothers of Schiller
and Kepler lived On the walk of the
old castle where the magma charta of
Wurttemberg liberties was signed by
Ulrich, the well beloved. tablets have
been placed in honor of the mothers of
the poet and the astronomer.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
peculiarltie- Of the opo..um.

The American opossum is one of the
most curious animals living in the
United States. 1t is the only one that
carries its young in pouch like the
kangaroo. 1t is the only animal that
can feign death perfectly. 1t is re-
markable for hanging by its tail like
monkey. 1t has hands resembling those
of human being Its snout is like a
hogs, while its mouth is literally fur
nished with teeth. Its eyes are like a
rats, and 1t Kisses like a snake.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

In meridional Russia and especially
in the innumerable ponds of the basin
of the Don and Donetz rivers the in
habitants gain a remunerative liveli-
hood, though dangerous and disagree
able, in leech fishing. Bare legged they
tramp about the water, and leeches fix
themselves upon the bare flesh. AS
soon as the fishers reach terra firma
they remove the fabby animals and
deposit them in an earthen vessel. 1t
Is a painful and weakening operation
and sometimes even fatal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
Judicia1 DIFFERENTIATION.

Dipper tat wayside tavern)-That was
Judge Close. who just took a solitary
at the bar; know him. | suppose.
Tipper-Oh, fairly well.
Dipper-Exacting fellow. owed him
a small bill at one time, and, being tied
up at the time, went to him for a lit
tie indulgence. and he wouldn't even
give me thirty days.
Hardcase Gnterposing)-Excuse me.
gentlemen, but | had little different
experience. l didn't owe him anything,
and he gave me seven years.-Boston
Cnurfor
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Gentleman lat restaurant)-I say,
waiter, your customers are fearfully
noisy lott
Eyes, sir, and yet they are so par
ticular. you would scarcely believe.
Why. that same turbot you are eating
just now no fewer than six of them
refused before you came in"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Joax-Young Simpkins has at last
succeeded in carving out fortune by
his own efforts.
Hoax-Why, was under the impress
sion that he married an heiress.
Joax-So he did, but he had to cut
out dozen other fellows before taking
up his residence on the sunny side of
Easy street.-Chicago News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
Goldfish.

1t may not be generally known that
there is cruelty in the keeping of gold
fish Half Of such captives die from
sheer want of rest AS fish have eyes
so formed that they cannot endure the
light, in glass vessel they are in an
entirely wrong place, as is evident from
the way in which they dash about and
go round and round until fairly worn
ont
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Nov, here" said the salesman, lis
very fine umbrella. The handle, you
will observe, is especially attractive"
THAT'S just what / want to avoid.
Every umbrella ever owned has been
entirely too attractive."-SanF Francisco
Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09


Every one is aware that it is not wise
to seek a trees shelter in a thunder
storm; but, If you must take refuge
there, then climb to the topmost
branches. 1t has been proved that the
upper boughs of trees during storm
would be the safest position, and it is
said that birds in the branches are sell
dom killed. When the tree is struck by
lightning, it is the trunk which, pre-
sumably from its greater dryness, is a
bad conductor and which therefore
suffers the most.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
His Ideal Woman.

Parke-The other day | was In a
kind of vision and saw my wife as the
most perfect woman in the world
Lane-Where were you?
Parke-In an intelligence office, de
scribing her to cook was trying to
engage.--Judge.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

The Mother-Now, Elsie, did teach
you to throw your clothes on the floor
in that disreputable way?
Elsie-No, mamma; learned myself.
-Puck
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Cinder Charley-I told dat lady was
merely tryin' to keep soul an body to
gether.
Billy Trucks-What did she say7
Cinder Charley-She gave me 9, safe
~ pin.-Philadelphi Record.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Don't fiatter yourself that friendship
authorizes you to say disagreeable
things to your intimates. On the con-
trary, the nearer you come into rela-
ton with person the more necessary
do fact and courtesy become.-Holmes.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

1t is pity the baldheaded man can't
transplant the unnecessary beard on
his chin to the smooth spot on his pate.
st. Louis Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Writing jokes must be funny way
Of making living"
ut isn't. | have tried it and know
1t is no laughing matter."-New York
Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

If you discover that you have made
a mistake, don't stubbornly insist upon
keeping 1t up; let go and run.-Atchi-
son Globe.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Special Inducements to Liberality.
"What are your rates?" asked the
prospective victim of the lady fortune
teller.
Il can't afford to tell you anything
but disaster for 80 cents" replied the
lady, 'but for 81 I'll agree to tell you
a good fortune with no bad luck in it"
Ohio State Journal
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

The lights in the theater set the men
a good example; they seldom go out be-
tween the acts.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Woman is a queer creation. She uses
her smiles and tears alike for the van
quishment OF Baltimore News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Debt is, like any other trap easy
enough to get into. but hard enough to
ret out OH. " Shaw.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Safety expresses an idea. 1t isn't
the name of any place on earth.-Bos-
ton Journal
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
Gilroy reached for the brandy.

In His Pocket Found Confession of Muir.
der of Waterman In Order to Sell
Story of Crime to Newspaper.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09
MYSTERIOUS SUICIDE.

Crazed by Morphine. John Bond. Once G
Famous English Journalist, Jumps
From Eagle Building.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

Gilroy reached for the brandy.
"Here's to you, Bondl Crazy as you
were, I'm worse"
The Blazer published some facts in
the suicide case which the other papers
didn't have. The editor was pleased
to think that he didn't destroy that
last communication from the scoop
hend.
And he vowed he would write a sto-
ry about the case some day. and he
did. Here it is.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-09-09

headlong from the Eagle building. ten
stories to the street, at 2:30 that same
morning. and it was then hardly
o'clock
Gilroy pitched the manuscript into a
bottom drawer. and it was soon far
from his thoughts. He was not the
man to be caught twice by some crazy
hobo. not he.
But in the rival sheet that noon he