davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
.I;ed the Wrong shosstrlna.

Il Handsomely dressed lady, riding
recently in a crowded Amsterdam ave-
nue. car, was fortunate enough to have
a seat, but when nearing her destlna-
tion she noticed that the lacing of
her Oxford tie was unfastened. 1t
was the work Of a moment. but a very
warm and trying moment, to stoop
down and knot it securely. When this
was accomplished, her hat and veil
readjusted, and her gloves once more
carefully put on, It was time to signal
the conductor. This she did, and after
two vain attempts to rise looked
around Indignantly, to find the cause
Of her retarded movements. She
came face to face with a very irate
gentleman, who had been sitting next
70 her.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES are you
tying to take me?" he demanded.
"-youl" she stammered
"Yes-look tnerel" He pointed 10
the floor. and In an instant she had
grasped the situation. ~ mistake IN
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
WALL STREET JAReoM
70 the Uninitiated II Might as We'll 81
Greek.

Greek.
Every trade or business has it's tech
nicai terms. most OF wnscn are abso
lutely unintelligible to the outsider
but it is safe to say that speculative
wall street possesses a jargon that Is
unrivalled. To the initiated It might
as well be Greek. and the man or wO
man Of inquiring mind who tries to
find out the connection between the
term and that which Il represents
win have a very interesting time. II
not very much satisfaction in the mat.
ter Of results. or course. nearly every
one knows what bulls" and bears"
are. and those who have taken a
flyer" in the market know what Is
meant by margin" Still. when they
hear that some one whom they know
is a "scalper." or that he had some
thing to do with certain wash sales p
or that he had sold short" and was
squeezed" and had ito cover" at q
heavy loss, IL might not be so plain
to them. II they had ever had any
experience with the seductive game
Of faro, they would. of course. under
stand, il they heard that their friend
had been "whipsawed II their in.
cursion into the market was limited to
buying or selling stocks through their
broker on Change. they might hest.
tate If asked TO puy put" or "calI, 3"
and would undoubtedly refuse TO have
anything to do with a spread"
They would be mystiaed If their
broker told them that he had executed
a squeeze" agreement; and. while
having a general idea of what he
meant, could scarcely be expected to
act intelIlgently II he told them in
confidence that he expected sharp
break in the market or calmly pre-
dicted a strong bulge" But their
lack of knowledge would again save
them uneasiness, Il they heard it
whispered that some breezy western
ers had effected corner" and they
could not be supposed to be affected
by the feverish anxiety which such a
report would cause. even If they were
short of the stock "cOrnered." Their
acquaintance with the various stocks
might be sufficient to enable them to
trade intelligently. but it is doubtful
if they would readily understa I'D just
what value a tip would have which
told them to keep their eye on the
"grangers" the "coalers" or the "trac-
tion" stocks. They would undoubted-
ly make a guess at what the Goulds"
and "industrials" meant Unless they
had experienced the pleasure of pay
ing an assessment on a reorganization
they might look forward expectantly
to receiving an Irish dividend" on
some of their holdings Assuming
that at last they had mastered these
and the scores of other terms that go
to make up Wall Streets jargon, their
education and their troubles would be
incomplete until they attempted to
master the cabalistic signs on the
ticker tape. that tell how the fnan.
cial pulse is beating.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08

cropping she had found the lacing OF
his shoe, which she had taken for the
other end OF her own, and had fasten-
ed them so carefully together that it
took the gentleman quite five minutes
to effect release. under the amused
glances Of the other occupants Of the
car. which had travelled twice that
number Of blocks before the lady was
ready TO give another signal-New
York Times.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
The WrIter.s NrerltnrIona A.

Towne-"scrbble certainly deserves
a medal for his great service to Amerl-
can literature"
IS-Own - Nonsense! The stuff be
writes Is rank tommy-rot"
Towne-"I know. but he declares that
he has stopped writing now"-PhIIa-
delphia Press.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
Youth ana Maturity

Johnny is a terrible annoyance
with his little tin wagon and his tin
trumpet"
"Yes. When he grows up am
afram he VIII be one OF these people
who race automobiles and blow tally.
ho horns" Washington star.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
10 ConIdn,t rel1.

"GOOd morning. Johnnie" said the
employer, cheerfully: Il hope all the
members Of your family are we'll
Il can't tell. sir" replied the Office
boy. dOubtfully It'll l Sc a copy Nv tn
baseball schedule Ohio State Jour.
nal
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
Immortal.

why do you refer to Shakespeare
as the immortal bardY" asked the
friend.
Because, answered Mr. Storming.
ton Barnes, 80 many actors whom
might mention have vainly tried to
kill his works w Washington Star.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
HI. nrIstnkn ln q via.

Wlfe-"Arthur, wen have to go with
out breakfast this morning"
Why?"
Wife-"The cook is sick "--Woman'i
Home Companion.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
a nnndv.

Did you hear about Grigsby's auto3
It ran away with him, went over an EN-
bankment turned a somersault, hit q
tree, killed Grigsby and wasn't in
jured a particle"
Say! That's dandy What mai
IS itg-Puck,
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
No Mans slave

There's asgirl who would rather re-
main single than be the slave of any
man."
But isn't she afraid of being lone
some2"
"Oh no. She is too busy on her great
book. How to Manage Husband ~
Detroit Free Press
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
Zoo YloIent 80 aim

''Do you play ping pOngY she asked
No" be wearily replied; 1.-The rules
don't permit you to have a caddy u
pick up the balls."-Chicago Record
Herald.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
His First.

George said Mrs. Youngwife, III
you should suddenly come into posses
sion of S1OOO.0OO, what would be the
the first thing you would do?"
Get you a tub Of ice cream soda"
replied George. indianapolis sun
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
Not the Usual way.

'Yes, he's going to marry the girl
who used to work for him. Think Of
it, 81
We'll. what of it? Most men marry
a girl and let her work for him after.
ward Philadelphia Bulletin.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
The Cabby.

Jack-"Percy Parker called down 3
cabby last night, but he's sorry for il
today"
Bill-"Why2"
Jack - '"The cabby came down. =
Puck.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
COnsistent.

She was a dapper, horsey girl,
He was a chappie gay, ~
And when he asked her for her hand
She answered with a neigh
--Philadelphia Press
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
Two of a Kind.

Bacon-"He named his automobile
after his wife"
Egbert-" funny"
Bacon-"NOt at all funny. After he
got it he found he couldn't control it,"
-YOnkers Statesman
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08

The most exasperating person In
the world Is the one who gives you the
feeling that you would like to get be-
hind and push him.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08

A race horse travelling fun spsed
clears twenty feet at stride, an
ostrich thirty feet
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08
The Soft Answer.

Aunt-"Well. what have you to say
for yOurselfg'
Willie-"N Nothing for myself. auntie.
and nothing but words Of praise for
your excellent preserves" New York
Journal
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-08

Have you any watered silkY'
mo, but we can water some for
you. ALLY Sloper
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
He Was Dead.

The English papers tell this story OF
an incident In revision court:
A certain person who figured on the
register was objected to by one of the
agents on the ground that he was dead
The revising barrister declined to ac-
cept the assurance, however, and de-
manded conclusive testimony on the
point.
Thereupon the agent of the other
side rose and gave corroborative evil
dence as to the decease of the gentle
man In question.
"And pray, sir, how do you know the
mans deadY" demanded the barrister.
"Well," was the reply, 81 don't know.
It's very difficult to prove"
"As | suspected" returned the irate
barrister. "You don't know whether
he's dead or not
The barrister glanced triumphantly
around the court His expression grad
ually underwent II change as the wit
ness coolly continues:
81 was saying, sir, that l don't know
whether he is dead or not, but | do
know this-they buried him about Il
month ago on suspicion"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
DOukeys In Mexico,

There are two classes of donkeys in
Mexico-one with four feet and the
other with two. Each Is kind Of
competitor of the other. Sometimes
they are partners. They are both
bearers of burdens and the subjects of
brutality. Everywhere you see the
donkey loaded down with sacks of ore,
baskets of dirt, cans of milk, sacks of
water, and you find his driver very
often loaded in the same way. These
combinations sometimes go two by
two, and sometimes there will be a
band of ten to fifty thus loaded. com
ing down the mountains with ore.
charcoal or wood, corn or whatever
may be needed in the villages or cities.
1t is indeed medieval life in middle
and southern Mexico.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A1exnndrian Scientists.

Among the great scientists of the
Alexandrian school. or, rather, mathe-
maticians, were Pappus, one of the
greatest OF ancient mathematlclans;
Theon, and his unfortunate daughter,
the famous Hypatia-who appears to
have been better mathematician than
her father-the story of whose life and
tragic death Is familiar through Kings
ley's novel. Unfortunately none of her
works is eXtant. She was the last of
the Alexandrian philosophers who at
tained any fame. She lived about 415
a. ID.
Not only is this old university re-
nowned for the impulse which ii gave
to science, but il also extended its
protection and aid to literature, poetry
and the fine arts. For example, Ptole-
my Philadelphus did not consider II
beneath him to count among his per-
sonal friends the poet Callimachus, the
author of treatise on birds, who hon
orably maintained himself by keeping
n school at Alexandria. Among the
most distinguished poets may be men
toned Lycophron, whose work Gas
sandra" still remains, and Theocritus,
whose exquisite bucolics prove how
sweet poet he was.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A TRYING ORDEAL.
The Fnttening Process of n Mar-
riugcabIe Girl In Tunis.

The marriagcnble girl in Tunis has
trying ordeal to go through after her
betrothal to the man not of her choice,
but whose choice she Is. She has TO be
fattened to the required size before the
ceremony can take place.
AS soon as the betrothal takes place
she Is taken TO n room and there
cooped up till the fattening process Is
concluded. Silver shackles are fastened
round her wrists and ankles, and the
task of her parents and future hus.
band is to increase her bulk till her
wrists and ankles fill up the shackles.
II the husband is widower or has
discharged his first wife, the girl
has the shackles of the first spouse
placed on her, and she must ill them
out.
1t takes long time to do this as
rule, and sometimes IL cannot be nc
complished In spite of all efforts. IL Is
then open TO the future husband to cry
off the bargain or waive the condition.
In the case of n bachelor he takes care
to see that the bracelets and anklets
are not too large-that is, If he is fond
of the glrl-but IL he is being forced
into the marriage by his parents, he is
great stickler for custom. Stout
girls are the more quickly snapped up
in Tunis.-Pictorial Magazine.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
where wives Rule Husbands.

In the valley of the Barca, in Abys.
sinia, there is a community where the
women, without holding meetings or
agitations of any kind, have emanci-
pated themselves. All the women work
hard, while the men are idle; but, by
way of compensation, the house and all
it contains belong to the wife. At the
least unkind word she turns the hus-
band out at night, In storm or rain, and
he cannot come back until he makes
amends by the gift of cow. The wife
considers 1t n duty to abuse the hus-
band, and IL she were weak enough to
show any love for him in life or grief
at his death she would be scorned by
her tribe. The wife, without any rea-
son, may strike her tent and 20, taking
with her one-third of the joint posses.
sions. The husband, unless he is tray
cling, may not live out of his tent, but
his wife may 20 to her parents for
year and annul, for the time, her owD
marriage.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10

The Peoples Friend cites the follow
ing as sample of characteristic
Scottish wit-keen, grim and caustiA:"
A certain parishioner dealt in old
horses, alternating his spells of labor
with heavy sprees. During the pc
riod of depression which followed each
overindulgence John habitually took to
bed and there diligently studied the
family Bible. During one of these fits
of attempted reformation his condition
prompted his wife to call i'm the Rev.
Mr.. Wallace, the parish minister, who
at the time happened to be passing.
"Oh, Master Wallace, come in and
see our John; he's rale badw
"What's wrang wi him?'
Hes feart to meet his Maker"
said Mrs. John.
Quick as fire came the crushing
reply:
"Humph! Thell'm he need na be
feart for that; he'll never SEEM"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Halls Thanks.

"My niece Mary was always a well
meaning girl, but she would say the
wrong thing almost every. time" said
one old gentleman to another, "and
she's got boy that's going to be her
very counterpart"
The old gentleman's eyes twinkled,
and his plain, good natured face was
puckered with enjoyment as he drew
from his pocketbook small sheet of
note paper.
81 sent Hal toy monkey that plays
all kinds of pranks when it's wound
up" said he, chuckling; "sent 1t to him
for his birthday. Now, you listen to
this letter Of thanks 1 got from him
today. He's just eight years old:
Deer Uncle Ned-I am delighted with
the munkey. thank you. He makes me
think of you very often. And whenever
mamma winds him up and he begins to
jump mamma and l feel as II we were
back at your house where all those toys
are. and mamma will look at the toy and
say, That's your Uncle Ned all over
Goodby from your grateful HAL"
-Pittsburg Bulletin.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10

The best tobacco in Siam is grown at
Petchabun. 1t is planted in open fields
near the town after the floods in Sep
tember or October, and the first crop.
or tips, which is considered the best
quality, is gathered about February
and the last about the beginning Of
May. The very best quality cannot be
purchased, as it is reserved for the
special use of the king and sent down
to Bangkok, where it is smoked in the
palace and distributed to the chief Of
ficers of state.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Lake Michigan's Water.

Lake Michigan has no visible inlet.
Where, then, does it get its replenish.
ment? From the Rocky mountains.
Through rents and crevices, down In
to caverns at the roots of these noun
tains, pour ever the waters from melt
ing snow. Four thousand feet they
sink to strike gravity incline that
levels with their floor under Chicago.
Under that city and elsewhere on the
west side of Lake Michigan-this IL
the proved theory, theory as good as
proved - the snow covered Rocky
mountains are constantly sending theil
waters to supply fowage and evapora
tion that are ever going forward in tn.
watery expanse.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
BANKRUPTs IN LIVERY.
Curious Laws That Were Once I'm.
forced In England and Scotland.

At one time In England and Scot.
land bnnkrupts were compelled to
wear distinctive dress. This was
result Of enactments passed at various
times In Scotland from the year 1906
to 1858. The Edinburgh court of ses-
sions specified the dress to be of part
color, one half yellow and the other
brown, something after the style Of
the dress now worn In English prisons
by the worst class of prisoners, those
who have attempted to escape or been
guilty of murderous assaults on off,
GERS. The enactment also provided that
the bankrupt should be exhibited pub
licly in the market place of his town
for n period of two hours and then
sent away, condemned to wear the
dress until such time as he had paid
his debts or some one else had done 1t
for him.
Although this was n period of laws
which can only be described as fero-
clous, this law was such an outrage on
public sentiment that in 1853 1t was so
far repealed that the wearing of the
dress was only compulsory in cases I'm
which fraud had been proved or, curl
ously enough, IL the bankrupt had
been convicted of smuggling. The
same practice was legal, but not gen.
orally in force in England down TO the
year 1886. The idea was, of course,
to warn persons who might have given
credit that the bankrupt was not able
TO pay, but popular sentiment soon rec
ognized that 1t was wholly unfair to
impose such excessive penalties on
man who might have become bank
rupt through no fault of his own, and,
as usual, when the law became contra
ry to public feeling 1t ceased to be op-
erative.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A HARD HEADED FARMER.
The way lie Held Up n Prince with
a PttchfOrk.


When Edward VII. of England was
an undergraduate Mt oxford universi-
ty, he had an adventure which led a
newspaper of that time to describe the
prince as prisoner. 1t said that
mot very far from oxford, at place
called Steeple Barton, there was n
farmer named Hedges, n man of much
Independence of character, commonly
known as Lord Chief Justice Hedges
"On one occasion the prince and his
friends were out with the South Ok
fordshire hounds, but, meeting with
Indifferent sport, they resolved on rid
ing home across country. This they
did, galloping over the lands of Farm.
or Hedges and presently riding into his
farmyard. There they were confront.
ed by the farmer himself, armed with
n fork. He closed the gates and in
formed the party bluntly that they
had been trespassing on his ground
and trampling on his young wheat and
that he would not allow one of them TO
leave his farmyard until he had paid
fine of sovereign for the damage
done.
"They whispered that the prince
himself was of the party. Prince or
no prince he replied shortly, I'll have
my money There was little glory to
be had by fighting resolute farmer
armed with fork. They therefore
made up their minds to pay, prince and
all. When he had the money In his
pocket, and not till then, Lord Chief
Justice Hedges opened the gates and
let them o."-Philadelphia Times.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10

The way of civilization in new land
passes comprehension. Its motto seems
to be "Ruin first; there Is time after
ward to save" Civilization is a good
deal like wild, full blooded boy-it
must first sow wild oats, waste its pat
rimony. disgrace its antecedents; then
1t is ready to begin the serious work
of life. That has been the history Of
the range country-swift ruin for thir-
ty or forty years, with n resulting
wreck that it will require century of
hard work. perseverance and self con-
troll to save.-Ray Stannard Baker in
Century.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
VnsntiH4aCtOry.

"You should be little more explicit
in your statements" said the editor to
the new reporter as he glanced over
batch Of copy. Here you say that
the Hon. J. Edward Cashly. who has
been under the care of three physi-
clans during the past ten days, is now
out of danger"
"Well, isn't that plain enoughT que
ried the new pencil pusher.
Certainly not" replied the autocrat
of the sanctum. "How is the uninitiat-
cd reader to know whether the Hon.
J. Edward is on the highroad to re-
covery or dead and out of reach Of the
three physiclansT-Chicago News.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Cemetery Monuments.

What is more sadly comic or incon-
gruous than the imposing medley OF
stone and marble in n great cemetery!
The towering columns loom over the
resting places of such small citizens.
The dove of peace" aIights where 1t
would never have brooded Of its free
will. The guardian angel bends over
the vixen's tomb, while mediocre bits
of slate denote the graves of many
sanity and gifted ilgrims.-Atlantic.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A Canny Contract,

A fountain in n public square need
ed painting.
An artist agreed to do it for nothing.
provided he could take as much time
as he pleased for the job and erect
a boarding to protect himself from
idle curiosity while at work.
The contract was made on these
terms. but the painter sold the sur
face of the boarding to advertisers, and
nobody knows, how long he will be
painting the fountain.-LondOn An
swers.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Charlie. pende ut Work.

A friend once called on Charlie,
Reade and found him sitting at hli
desk placidly smiling, while with great
precision and deliberation he inscribed
his thoughts on n sheet of foolscap in
large schoolboy text. He might have
been writing n love letter, he seemed
so happy. He was in reality scarf
flying 'criticaster" in language that
made his friends hair stand on end
London Telegraph.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A CheerfuI WHIT.

A laborer applied to the foreman at
some buildings workshop for job:
"Can yez do anything fur poor fella
at all in the shape ave work"
Foreman-Oi hev nothin' the day.
Cum back agen. There is drunken
carpenther workin' on the top, and
Oi'm waitin' livery mint till he falls
and gifts killed.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A Difference.

Recently a girl in a public school
was asked by her teacher to explain
the difference between the words bal
ance and remainder. Her answer was,
"You can say "a man lost his balance
and fell but you cannot say a man
lost his remainder and fell.'"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A Difference.

Marie-l have an engagement with
Cholly and I don't know how to get
out of 1t.
Helen-Haven't you any reason for
breaking 1t?
Marie-Yes. l have reason--C Cholly
is the reason-but want an excuse
Puck.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
A Sauule.

Uncle (who had just entertained hii
nephew In Partisan restaurant)-Not
bad dinner, eh?
Nephew (who is still growing)-First
rate. Let's have another.-Toledo
Blade.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Not Quite So Painful.

Teacher-What does the word celib-
ncy mean?
Class-The state or condition of being
single.
Teacher-Correct. Now, IL you want.
ed to express the opposite Of cellbacy,
or singleness. what word would you
use?
A Bright Pupil-Pleurisy.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10

What real good does an addition to
fortune already sufficient procure? Not
any. Could the great man by having
his fortune increased increase also his
appetites. then precedence might be at
tended with real amusement. : Gold
smith.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Apprehensive.

"Please, sir. I wouldn't go out today
IL l were you," said the old landlady.
"Why not" asked the surprised art
lst.
Because crowd of men were look
ing for you, and they said they were
the hanging committee" Chicago
News
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10

DENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD.
Il BUFFALO & ALLEGIIANY VALLEY
DIVISION.
Low Grade Division.
In Effect May rs, 1902 Eastern Standard Time.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10
Her Enrawements,

"Your daughter has had great
many admirers"
"Oh. yes! She puts nearly all her
window curtains on the rods with her
old engagement rings."
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-09-10

Paper coal is form Of Ignite found
near Bonn, in Germany. II splits nat
urally IN filmS ~ thin as paper.