davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
why he Didn't JUMP.

Eere is one that young man who
knows Il GOOD story when he hears 1t
heard onn RAILROAD man tell another in
depot up the limo the other day:
I'VE picked up a new 1rishman
somewhere UP country am set him to
work brakin' OH construction train
ut 3 cents a mile for wages. One day
when him an me was on the train She
got away ON one OF them mountain
grades, an the first thing we lnowcd
she was flynn down the track ut about
ninety miles an hour, with nothin' In
Sight hut tllc ditch an the happy hunt
In grounds. when we come to the end
twisted 'eln down as hard as l could
all along tic tops. an then OF Il sudden
see Mike crawlin' along toward the
end of one OF the cars ON all fours,
with his face the color of milk. l
thought he M:ls gettin' ready TO jump
an see his finish III To Gid.
Mike says, 'fos heavens sake
don't Jump.
''lIe clamps his fingers ON the rum
min board to give him chance to
turn round nm lookin' ut me con-
temptuOus, answers:
Jump is it?' DO yez think I'd Re
ufther jumpin' an me maxim money
as fast as l ann l'-pcls land Orcgo
niul
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Preparing Dates.

The preparation Of dried dates Is car
ricd on largely Mt Awabi, and as tho
season had now commenced took the
opportunity to observe the process and
was taken round the factories by the
shcik. The dates selected are picked
before they are quite ripe. The fac
tory had u chimney about fifteen feet
high and contained several open, cir
cular, copper boilers, capable of hold
ing five gallons each and nearly full Of
water. Into these vessels the dates are
put and allowed to simmer over slow
fire. AS the water In the copper de-
creased from evaporation 1t was filled
up again. but 1t gradually became
inspissatcd by the extraction Of the
Juice of the date. The flvlit is left in
the water about half an hour and is
then taken out and spread on mats or
cloths III the sun to dry, after which it
becomes hard and of pale rcd color
1t is exported In large quantities from
Muskat to dia.-Geographical Jour-
nAl
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
r1.d,c.ne Bottle. as Gods.

4 lady missionary in Elrma some
dine ago gave the following account Of
now she WAS the innocent cause Of the
worship of medicine bottles laviM.
Iccn instituted. In one Of her tours
she came upon village where cholera
was raging. Having with her guam
tity of n famous pain killer, she we:t
from house to house administering the
remedy to those attacked nnd Taft a
number OF bottles to he used after she
had gone.
Returning TO the village some months
subsequently slla was met by the head
man Of the community, who cneered
and delighted her by this intelligence:
Teacher, we have come over to your
side. Tic medicine did US so much
good that we have accepted your god" :"
Overjoycd ut this news. she was con
ducted to the house of her informant
Who, opening room, showed her the
pain killer bottles solcnnly arranged
In row upon the Shelf. and before
them the whole company Immediately
prostrated themselves In worship
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Coincidences Of Dute..

Attention has often been called to
the curious fact of tho date Sept fls-
uring SO largely in the history of Oliver
Cromwell. That very dominating man
was born ON Sept. 5. 1883; he Won the
bnttle Of Dunbar Sept 3, 1850; that OF
Worcester Sept. 3, lG5l, and he died
Sept. 3, 1868. But we have lately come
across some condolences of dates
which. 80 far as we know, have not
been noticed before. The number SO
seems to have had fatal Influence on
the Stuarts. Robert H., the first Stu
art king, died IN 1883; james H. was
Killed Mt the siege of Roxburghe Cas-
tie. lass: Mary. queen of scots. was
bchcaded In FothcrinGay, 1883 (new
style; James VII dI. OF EngI;ndJ
was dethroncd in lGsS; Bp,ny Prince
Charlie died In E.me, l,yss, and viii.
him died the last hopes t the jacob
ties.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
just Like the Rocks.

"I'm from England" said the man
on the car platform, addressing no.
body In particular und apropos of moth
ing. "and want to tell you people that
we ull are only lot Of rocks. Say,
did you ever watch colony Of rocks
build their nests in the springY'
Everybody looked rcfectivcly away
"Well, I'll tell you. First rook
picks up stick and puts 1t in his
nest, then goes away after another
one. When he's gone, another rook
dies to his nest and steals the stick.
When he gets back, he puts down the
second stick for still another rook to
steal and starts after the first stick
He doesn't find 1t, and when he gets
back to his nest he finds the second
stick gone, and he starts after that.
scolding and swearing IN rook fashion.
by this time the other thieves have
been robbed. too, and 1t only takes
about three sticks to go around the
community and get the whole blamed
colony powwowing. Say. amt that
human nntureY
Everybody looked rc1cctively away.
New York Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Country Inn. i. England.

A noted traveller says he has sam
pied large number Of hotels In his
time-even in Grccce-but for bare
faced dishonesty in the making Of
bills the bluff British landlord takes
first place. "After charging twice
what his food and rooms are worth he
tacks on n further charge for service,
another for lights, another for bath.
another for fire. In short, my expert
ence Of country inns in England-and
/ can speak with some authority-Is
that I pay as much day ut a shabby
little country inn of England, where
the food is poor and Ill cooked. the at
tendance inferior and the beds poor, us
i would at good hotel In such towns
MS Springfield. Mass. or the very best
in Switzerland or Germany. Indeed, il
must have struck the average Ameri
can that the Incompatible Buedeker
hardly ever finds 1t possible to recon-
mend an English hotel"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
When SILK Was Precious.

Common rs is silk nowadays, in ear
Her times 1t was most precious ma
terial. When 1t was first brought into
Europe. silk commanded three times
Its weight in gold. and SO valuable was
1t deemed that in the reign of Tiberius
law was passed forbidding it to all
save noble ladies and prohibiting men
from wearing 1t on the ground OF its
etfeminncy. So unusual was 1t even
200 years later for man to wear silk
that every historian of the time OF
Hcliogabalus noted the fnct that that
emperor had silk gown. For ages ic
continued ut an abnormally high price,
Chnrlemagne in the year 7SO could
send to King Otfa Of Mercla no more
valuable present than two silk coats.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
The ORIGINAL silhouette.

Tho name silhouette was derived
from Eticnne de Silhouette, French
minister of finance in 1859, who intro
duced several parsimonious fashions
during his administration called Ia
Silhouette. II name which continued to
be applied to the black profile portraits.
Silhouettes were executed in various
ways.
One Of the simplest is that Of tracing
the outlines of shadows profile
thrown on sheet Of paper and then
reducing them to the required size eli
thcr by the eye or by means Of a pan
tograph. The camera obscuru and cam
era lucida nre also occasionally used
for the purpose.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
A Ninn In the uou.e.

There is II young criminal lawyer in
Memphis. Tenn, who on the occasion
of his becoming OF age began the cele-
bration of his birthday in way that
caused his household great deal Of
constcrnation.
On the eve OF the fcte, shortly after
midnight. the young mans family were
suddenly startled from their slumbers
by loud voice In the house calling:
"1hcre's man In the house! There's
man in the louse!'
The vnliuht pnter familias rushed
from his room, bearing in his hands q
heavy billet Of Hrewood. to learn the
cause of the disturbance and to cap
turc the Intruder. His son was stand
ing I'm the hall. shouting ut the top of
his voice.
"Whcrc's the mnny' exclaimed the
old gentleman.
Here. sir; here!s proudly replied the
young man. ''This is he AT last I'm
twenty -one!'- Memphis Scimitar.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
REED olpN,T WANT Ir.
Story of Revolver and Stormy
Scene In Congress-.


"Whcn Mr. Reed was making the
parliamentary fight which resulted In
the adoption of the Reed rules for
counting quorum III the Fifty-flrst
congress" suid veteran representa-
tive. the violence of debate wac great
er than ut any time since rcccnstruc.
tion days. Toward the close Of the
struggle General Joe Wheeler OF Ala
balna had mounted his desk and was
making remarks which members OF
both sides thought might end In yio-
lence.
Several cf his colleagues were
standing near by. angry, flushed. under
their breath declaring that 1t was time
to pull the speaker out of the chair
Mr.. Reeds partsans were just as hot
and crowded to the we'll to be ready II
any muscle We're needed. Confusion
reigned III the entire body.
Right in the thick OF 1t Representa-
tive Martin Of Texas made Ills way to
the steps leading to the speakers seat
and. lifting his coattails. showed to Mr..
Reed the butt end of revolver pro-
truding from hip pocket.
".Do you want it?' asked Martin.
"Just then the little orator from Ala.
bama, With clinched fist, shouted ut
MIR. Reed: Your ruling Is the most
damnable ever made In your chair. 1t
is nothing short of revolution 1t ought
to bury you SO deep that Gabriera
trumpet won't wnken YOU
"NIr. Reed leaned over then and re-
piled to Martin, with his usual drawl:
No. not yet. The gentleman has SIM
ply risen to n question of order and Ia
now stating It,"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
A survival of the Primitive,

A Philadelphia philosopher thus ex-
plains the general preference for wall
table In restaurants primitive man
ate In peril. The cave bear, the sabcr
tooth tiger, even some warrior of his
own kind. was apt ut any moment to
leap upon him nlld to devour his food
and perhaps himself Therefore he
took his meals with his back against n
cliff or In the corner of two adjoining
cliffs, II possible, and with the open
country before him. That, you see,
was the safest way for him to eat. He
could not then be surprised.
".And we still have In US that memory
of the primitive man. and we still un-
conscioy :, when we sit down to our
repasts. choose places TINT give us a
wall for our protection. That and not
q desire to see things Is what causes us
to pick out wallis and corners. You can
see as we'll from the middle Of q room
or from any other place, you know"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10

Little Emerson Mamma, find no
mnrgfnuf note In clucidation Of this OK
prcssion which observe frequently to
OCCUR In my volume of "l'airy Tale
Classics. with batcd BREATH" What
Is the proper Interpretation Of the
phrase?
Mamma with bntcd brcath," my
son. commonly occurs in fairy tales
Your father often returns from pisca-
torinl excursions with bated breath
The phrase In such instances, however.
has no Significance as applying to the
balt employed TO allure tho fish, but is
merely an elastic term OF dubious
meaning and suspicious origin, utilized,
as have already minated, simply be.
cause OF the sanction which it has gain
ed by customary usage In fairy talea
generally. DO you comprehend. Emer-
sony
Little Emerson-p Perfectly. mamma
Judge
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
rive Angel. on !. Neeale ro,n..

1t Is related OF the late DR.. Robert.
son that OH one occasion he was in
the company Of some theological stu
dents. They, fresh from the study OF
church history, were laughing together
over the Old scholastic question. How
many angels nre supported on the
point of lsesalle? They were surpris-
ed when DIR. Robertson turned to them
and said. well, how many do you
think% AZ Mo ene answered he went
on. with decision. ;;"Well. I'll tell you
five" And hedustifled his answer with
the following story:
One very stormy night he was COM
Ing home late and noticed light In the
window Of n room where he knew q
poor woman lived whose husband was
ut sea. He wondered whit kept her up
so late alid went to see. IIe found her
hard mt work sewing by her lamp,
while her five rosy children were sound
asleep beside her '"rhere," said DIR.
Robertson. was needle supporting
five angela"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
London M II Waa

Hnydn's Dictionary OF Dates
makes tho statement that the old name
Of the city Of London was written
Lyndcn or I.lyndin, meaning "the city
Oh the lake" An old tradition gives
US to understand that London was
founded by Brute. descendant OF
Alneas. and called New Troy or Troy
novant until the time of Lud. who sur
rounded the town with wallis and nam
ed 1t Cacr-Lud. or I.ud's town. This
latter is probably the correct version OF
the story, IL for no other reason be-
cause 1t Is an easy matter to detect .
similarity between the expression Lud's
town and London. 1t Is claimed by
some writer's that there was O city on
the same spot 1.1O7 years b. c., and it
is known that the Romans founded a
city there called Londinium A. ID. u.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Wearing Out the Nerves.

Many people wear themselves out
needlessly. Their conscience is a ty-
rant. An exaggerated sense Of duty.
says the London Doctor. leads many n
person to anxious. ceaseless activity,
TO be constantly doing something, over
punctual. never idle second of time,
scorn to rest. Such are In unconscious
nerve tension. They say they have no
time to rest, they have so much to do
not thinking they nrc rapidly uniting
themselves for probably what would
have been their lest and greatest work
In after years. Self control OF nerve
force is the great lesson of health, and
therefore of life itself. To understand
how to relax is to understand how TO
strengthen nerves. Hearty laughter is
a source of relaxation, as are also all
high thoughts. as those of hope. beau
ty, trust or love. Relaxation Is found
IN diversion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Piper Legcnds.


The Wends, who. we believe. are the
ancestors of the modern Prussia ns, are
the center of many legends. The Pied
Piper OF Hnmelin was Wend; so also
wns the piper of the Harz mountains
who appeared so many days year and
played unearthly tunes nnd whosoeveY
heard ut once fell into frenzy, from
which there was no escaping. All these
pied and weird pipers assembled once q
year ut the Brocken, where there was o
general carnival. tho arch flcnd lead
Ing tho concert on n violin, witches
rolling around and fddling on the
skulls OF horses and the pipers adding
the concert OF their unholy instru
nents. Chambers Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
The Hearts and the spade.

Once upon time a man who was
plnyinG q friendly game Of draw poker
found four hearts and club In his
hnnd. After n little thought he dis
carde1 the club and drew spade.
II will cnll this a hand of hearts," no
said to himself. "and bet on my flush"
Then he looked very wise and laid
down 81 of his hard earned money.
Another player saw the 81 instantly.
called in loud voice. and the money
at once changed owners.
Moral.-A wise man calls spade y
spade.-New York Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
NIanx Servants.

Servants In the Isle Of Man who re-
fuse TO complete the period OF service
for which they are engaged are liable
to curious punishment. In case be-
fore the magistrate at Peel ree ~
William Corlett, farm laborer, was
with refusing to carry out
his engagement. 1t was stated that the
penalty provided by n statute OF 1GG5
is that the servant is to be kept In
prison and allowed one cake and cup
of water per day until lie returns to
service. Corlett was spared this pun
ishment, as the magistrate was salts
fed that he had not engaged to serve
a stated period
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
The .w. In writers, Names.

Beginning with William Shakespeare,
we remember instantly Sir Walter Ra
leigh. Sir Walter Scott. William Words
worth, Washington Irving. William
Makepcace Thackeray, Henry w.
Longfellow, John G. Whittier. William
Cullen Bryant. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Oliver Wendell Holmes and Walt
Whitman. Others whose names occur
almost simultaneously are William
Cowper, Isaac Watts, Henry Ward
Beecher, Daniel Webster, Wendell
Phillips. George William Curtis, Rich.
ard Grant White, Julia Ward Howe,
George w. Cable, William ID. How
ellis, Charles Dudley Warner and
Richard Watson Glider. To these are
casily added Sir Walter Blackstone,
John Wesley, Edmund Waller. Nathan
icl r. Willis. Walter Savage Landor,
Will Carleton. James Whitcomb Riley,
Thomas Wentworth IIigginson, DR.. s..
Weir Mitchell, Hamilton Wright Ma
bic, William III. Prescott. Constance
Fenimore Woolson, Mary r. Wilkins
and many more.-Lndies' Home Jour
Vn1
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
What the BARBER Pole Represents

The BARRIERS of long ago We're barber
surgeons, but the rapid advance of sur
gical science has caused them to full
from their high estate. The gilt knob
Mt the end of the barber pole Of today
represents brass basin. which but a
few decades since was actually sus-
pended from the pole. The basin had
q notch cut in it to fit the throat and
was used In lathering the customer
preparatory to shaving him. The pole
represents the staff held by the patient
who came TO the barber surgeon to be
bled. The two spiral stripes painted
around 1t signify two bandages. one
for twisting around the arm previous
to the act of .phlebotomy, or blood let
ting, the other for binding when the
operation was completed.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
A Trafalgar Incident.

There is II most striking and remark
able passage In the Journals Of Captain
Frederick Hoffman which have been
published under tho title Of "a Sailor
of King George
In giving his account Of the conclud-
Ing phase ef Trafalgar Captain Hoff-
man, VIA 6us on board Collingwood' &
ship, says: II must not omit that when
the commander Of the French fleet.
Admiral Villeneuve, was brought
alongside us instead of the Victory, he
was Informed 1t was not Nelson's ship.
My Cod said he. you are all Mel
sons! !"-London Globe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
A Queer Marriage Custom.

In the Loo Choo islands there are
some curious marriage customs. One
consists In the bridegroom going round
to all his friends houses and permit.
ting them to dress him up in any lidic-
ulous style that they fancy. Some
times the happy man is arraycd In a
gayly painted kimono, the sleeves OF
which are tied UP with u string lndcn
with bells, toys and trumpcts. A mask
Is then put on and Il red hat. the rig
out" being completed by an empty kcr-
oscne tin, which rattlcs noisily along as
he walks. accompanied generally by a
crowd Of children.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
HI. Appeh.

Little George was taken by his aunt
to see the newcomer, aged one day.
He was duly and profoundly Impress
ed with the specimen and asked where
the little brother came from. "God sent
It," answered the aunt reverently.
The answer made deep impression
on little George. for that afternoon he
was seen out in the backyard gazing
up into the deep blue sky and spread
ing his diminutive apron expectantly
as he said. "Dear God. please throw
me one down too."-Troy Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Terrific Thunder.

The largest rainfall on earth has been
recorded ut Chcru Punt. on the bay Of
Bengal. but the most violent thunder
storms ever observed are probably
those Of Ircnch Guiana. AZ Cape Or
anse. some forty miles south Of Cay
enne. French naval officer saw the
rills Of the coast hills turned into wa
terfnlls by u cloudburstlike storm.
while the crushing thunder peals We're
inccssnnt nnd often almost deufening.
so much So indeed. that some Of the
sailors began to mutter long forgotten
prayers. probably thinking the day OF
judgment near ut hand.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Select.

Once when passing through ceme-
tery in Lenox Eliot Gregory was sur
prised to see that the members OF one
cid New England family had been bur-
led in circle, with their feet toward
Its center. He asked the reason for
this arrangement, and wit OF that
day, daughter OF Mrs. Stowe, replied.
$50 that when they rise ut the last day
only members of their own family may
face themv'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
TIE Ernnt end

A young couple had been married by
a Quaker. and nfter the ceremony he
remarked to the husband:
"Fltend. thou art at the end of thy
troubles"
A few weeks nfter the man came to
the good minister boiling over with
rage, having found his wife to be
regular vixen, and said:
II thought you told me was ut the
end OF my troubles!"
80 did. friend. but did not say
which end" replied the Quaker.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
The I.innpernel.

The common pilnperncl. poor mans
weather glass," has the disadvantage
of being native plant and has been
almost completely expelled from our
flower gardens in favor of e1otics
which are rarer but lack much of bo-
Ing as pretty. The pimpernel is a
charming lhtle flower. which opens
about 8 in the morning and closes late
In the afternoon. but has the rcmark-
able popularity of indicating n COM
ing shower by shutting up it's petals.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
The D,tc1 su..

Ectcl nuts, the produce Of tie nrwa
palm, nNr chiefly Used ;.:s a inasticatoi.y
by the natives of Tie cast They arc
too small to te applied TO many orna
mental uscs. but are occasionally cm.
ploycd by the turner and wrought Into
beads for bracelets. small rosary cases
md other little fancy articles In the
Museum Of Economic Botany at Kew
there is walking stick made of these
nuts. sliced, mounted or supported on
an iron center
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Feline DenreyI,y.

ION, Horace" waited his young wife,
II have just found out that Ajax, our
beautiful Angoru cat. has been leading
double lifcw
Tint makes eighteen, suppose"
said Horace What las he been do
lngi'
You know let him out every morn
Ing, because he sccms to wnnt to go
and plny out cf doors. Well, hive
discovered that he goes ever to the
Robinscns AID lets tAcrl feed him and
pct him. ."-Clicapo Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Hardening Steel.

Small steel articles that are too soft
may be hardened with sealing wax
The method is to have ready large
stick Uf scaling wax and then after
heating the article to cherry red
thrust 1t intoathe wax for minute.
withdrawing 1t and sticking 1t in again,
repeating the operation until the steel
is cold and will not enter the wax.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-07-10
Trnyel.

Travel frequently improves the hu-
man being. and 1t does the same for
crude whisky. which, after sen roy-
age, returns home ripened, and then
there is the case Of cottonseed kernels
which go abroad from the United
States and come home again as the
"best quality Of olive oil.--Mexican
Herald.