davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
ROUGH ON MARK TWAIN.
An Englishmnn's Appreciation of Ono
of CEauncey Depevv's Lit
tie Jokes.

Once upon time Senator Depew and
Mark Twain were fellow passengers on
trip across the ocean. One night dinner
was given and Twain was called upon for
a speech. He made number of character
istically humorous remarks, and then sat
down amid applause. MIR. Depew was next
called upon, relates the Washington Post.
MIR. Clemens and | exchanged speeches
before dinner" he said, 'and he has deliv-
cred mine. His is so bad that l won't dis
grace him by repeating it." Then Mr.. De-
pew sat down, while everybody laughed
pacing the deck an Englishman came up to
him.
Mr. Clemens" he said, IT always thought
that Mr.. Depew was smart man, but that
speech of his which you delivered last night
was certainly the worst drivel l ever heard"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
Coronation of EDWARD VII.
Being an Account of How His Majesty Will Be
Crowned King of Great Britain and Ire
land and Emperor of India.
Thursday, june To-

ceives the act of homage, first from the lords
spiritual, who kneel about him, pronounce
the words of homage and kiss his hand.
Princes of the blood royal ascend the steps
of the throne, take off their coronets, re-
peat the homage, touch the crown upon the
kings head, and kiss his left cheek The
peers of the realm follow suit, with the ex-
ception that they kiss the hand instead of
the cheek. The words of homage are:
81 do become your liege-man of life and
limb, and of earthly worship, and faith and
truth L will bear unto you to live and die
against all manner of folk, so help me, God. /"
When the act of homage is over, the mem
bers of the house of commons give nine
hearty cheers, with cries of God save the
King" repeated by all.
During homage medals are thrown to the
occupants of the choir and lower galleries.
Divested of all symbols of sovereignty, the
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
AMERICA TO THE FRONT.
To BE Represented at the Coronation
by Special Embassy.

The coronation will be witnessed by rep
resentatives from every known country in
the world, including all the provinces and
dependencies of the British crown. The Eu-
ropean powers will be represented by
princes of the blood and the republic of
France by special embassy. The United
States delegation will consist of Hon. White
law Reid, special commissioner, Gen. j. NJ
Wilson and Admiral Watson, representing
respectively the army and the navy. In the
great naval parade and demonstration pre-
ceding the coronation, in the English chan
mel, the battleship Illinois, in command Of
Rear Admiral Crowninshield, will take a
prominent part. The official representa-
tives of the United States will have seats
in Westminster abbey and will be treated
very much like princes. For the time being
they will outrank Mr.. Choate, the American
ambassador at London, and all other diplo-
mats.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

for the Queen of William III. 1t is set with
pearls, sapphires, diamonds and other pre-
cious stones. The scepter for a queen con-
sort is very like the kings, only not SO
large; the rod for the queen is of ivory sur
mounted by dove and cross. 1t is said
that Queen Alexandra would prefer to be
crowned according to Russian custom, by
the kings own hands after his coronation,
but she realizes that the innovation might
not be pleasing to English ideas.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
PLEASING TO THE PEOPLE.
Incidental Ceremonies Which VIII
Delight the Gaping Crowds.

Apart from the coronation itself what, SO
far, has afforded the greatest possible salts
faction to the 100000 inhabitants of Lon
them the rest of the royal family and scores
of foreign princes and potentates, will come
among them, will not be content with simply
riding from palace to abbey and back again,
but will pass in state through the principal
arteries and some of the mean streets of the
metropolis, in order that their subjects may
see them and cheer them.
1t will be the most memorable 14-mile
drive ever undertaken by royalty. Queen
Victoria did something of the kind on the
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
Trials of Travel.

"I suppose" remarked the man
who is always in the front row with
question, that there are a great
many disagreeable features connect
ed with your profession"
ssThere are admitted the actor
with the dust-embellished shoes.
s.What, may [ ask queried the
other, do you find the most dis
agreeable?"
Railway travel" replied the barn
stor1ner. with sigh from away
down. .The ties are either too far
apart or too close together for COM
Portable pedestrianism." Chicago
Daily News
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

king receives the holy sacrament, and the
"Hallelujah chorus" concludes the service.
After this ceremony the queen will be
crowned She will be anointed on the head,
four peeresses holding magnificent pail
over her, the king will put ring on her
finger, the archbishop of YoIH will place the
crown on her head and the scepter and
ivory rod and dove will be placed in her
hands.
Prayers will be offered, the peeresses will
put on their coronets and the service will
end with the communion.
The crown for Queen Alexandra was made
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

Henry A. Salzer, the well-known La
Crosse, Wis, scotsman, has given the last
thousand dollars to wipe out the debt on
the La Crosse Y. M c. A. Mr. Salzer,
though an extremely busy man, finds time to
encourage and assist educational and philan-
thropic enterprises frequently.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
Water Does 1t.

A Minnesota woman has recently discov-
cred a powder that perfectly cleans silver,
and, in fact, everything that shines. The
striking feature of it is that it makes water
do all the work, requiring absolutely no
effort on your, part. This simple, easy,
perfect cleaner is called Silver Salt, and if
you send 25c to the Silver Salt Co., st. Paul,
Mimi, they will send large package by
return mail, and also return your money if
you are not pleased in every respect after
irwin IL
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
An unfavorab1e symntom.

"You have what | call quin ne cough"
said the doctor, proceeding to mix dose
of medicine for his caller
"And a qulnine cough, l suppose"
wheezed the patient, SIS sort of Peruvian
bark youths Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
None in stock.

"I observe" said the literary customer,
"that 'concealment, like worm i the bud
hath preservation the damask cheek of
some of these apples. That is poetical quo
tation, / presume you have read Shakes
peare?"
''Red Shakespeare" echoed the apple
dealer. ''No, sir" That's a variety I've
never heard of"-Chicago Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
One Fare for the Round Trim,

Chicago to Boston, Mass, via Grand
Trunk Railway System. Selling dates, June
12-l3-l4. Chicago to Portland, Me. Selling
dates, July 5 to 9, inclusive.
ONE FARE PLUS ONE DOLLAR FOR
ROUND TRIP.
Chicago to Providence, r. I. Selling dates,
July 7-8-9 For limits, time tables and fur
ther information apply to Geo. w. Vaux, A.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

$50 you're not working for Mr.. Stockson-.
Bonds any more, Uncle Eph!" mo, sab.
lse in de mimi business mahse'f now" I'm
the mining business, eh:' ''Yas, sab. Kali
sominin'. Philadelphia Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
Her Strong Point.

"Can you sing?" said the theatrical man
ager.
''Not the least in the world" replied the
applicant for job.
"Can you dancer
''Not bit"
'"Then what use do you suppose, young
lady, we could make of you as a member OF
our company"
"You ought to see me try to do song
and dance. It's the funniest thing in the
world. Chicago Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
A Hard One.

The eminent Boston professor who de-
clares that there can be no more languages
invented has probably not heard of the
Georgetown man with hare lip who is
teaching parrot to talk.-Washington
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
An Estimate of Art.

"Have you ever written anything that you
were ashamed off" inquired the severe rel
ative.
NO." answered the author. "But hope
to some day. need the money. Wash
ington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

Fits Permanently Cured. No fits after
first days use of DR.. Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer. Free 50 90 trial bottle. DR.. r. H.
Kline, Ltd, 93l Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

When a woman says unpleasant things to
man she always ends by confessing that
what she told him was for his own good
Chicago Daily News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

Some men are known by the friends they
fail to make.-Chicago Daily News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken Of
as a cough cure.-J. w. O'Brien, 322 Third
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
DON'T Get Footsore. Get Foot-Ease.

A wonderful powder that cures tired, hot,
aching feet and makes new or tight shoes
Accept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

Audacity is the stepfather of success
Chicago Daily News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

It is impossible that man who is false
to his friends should be true to his country
Bishop Berkeley.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

Never put off till tomorrow what you can
get some one else to do to-day.-Ohio State
journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

The incandescence of opportunity gloweth
alone for the resolute and spry.-Town
Topics.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

A brave man hazards life, but not his
conscience.-Schiller
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19

To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money! it fails to cure. 25c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-06-19
And It's IncursbIe.

Judge-What is your profession?
Witness-Im poet, your honor.
HUH That's not profession; it's
disease Chicago Daily News.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
Erizellburg Items.

Frank Snader, who has been at the hospital
in Baltimore for several weeks, is extremely
i'll at present writing.
Last week was certainly spring-like. But
oh what a difference we found on Tuesday
and Wednesday, the mercury descending con-
siderably.
Miss Flora Frizell spent few days in Bal
timore last week.
1t is rumored that one of our young buck
sters got married on Wednesday evening last
If such be true, we extend to the happy couple
our best wishes for long, happy and pros
porous life
Moving time is near at hand and already some
have changed places. Among those that will
change places this spring are the following:
Capt. Auer will move to Fountain Valley;
John Koontz, of Tyrone, will move into the
house vacated by Capt. Auer; Harry Singer
will move in Mr.. Beacham's house at Avon
dale; John Coe will move in where Mr.. Sim
ger vacated; Jesse Warner will move on the
Edward lively farm; Charles Markquet the
present teutant will move to Tyrone; Hall
Brown will move to Fountain Valley; Frank
Schaffer will take possession of Mr.. Browns
property; Charles Black, living on James
Myers farm will move ON John Lawyers
farm near Pleasant Valley; Frank Warren, of
Tyrone. will move on Mr.. Myers farm.
The grain seemed to be in deplorable con-
dition the winter through, but the weather of
last week caused the wheat to come out and
it is looking quite favorable under the cir
cumstances.
Some of our farmers began to haul out
manure the past week, but according TO my
judgment they had better wait until the ground
becomes dryer. 1t is advisable sometimes
not to be too much in "A hurry, as it often re :
suits in an injury instead of benefit.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
Mt. Airy Items.

Mr.. Weller, pastor of the NJ. E. Church
South, preached his last sermon before Con-
ference last Sunday afternoon.
Miss Carmie Day, of near Ridgeville, spent
last week with Miss Nettye Norwood.
Several from our town went to Baltimore
last week to witness the production of Ben
Hur. Among them were Miss +. Belle
Runkles, Charles Routzahn, Roscoe Moes-
worth, Nettye Norwood, Jesse Poole. Edward
Norwood, John Wilson and wife and Walter
Rudy and wife.
The citizens of Mt. Airy will erect town
hall in the very near future, which will be 81
feet long by 40 feet wide, and three stories
high.
Mrs. E. V. Runkles. milliner, who was con-
fined to bed for two months with pneumonia,
is able to attend to business.
j. Floyd Spurrier, of Baltimore, spent part
of last week at his home, near Mt. Airy.
Eugene Mercer and wife, of Baltimore,
were recent visitors in this vicinity.
The roads in this vicinity are in very good
condition.
Mrs. Amy Hood is very sick at this writing.
Reports from the many sales of hive stock
and farming utensils show an advance IN
prices all along the line over last spring $
sales.
Mrs. O. M. Spurrier has returned from a
recent trip to Baltimore, and has been sick
every since.
Mrs. T. G. Lowman visited Mrs. Amy
Hood Monday.
Miss Bessie Richardson spent from Friday
evening until Sunday with Mrs. Augustus
Hood.
Miss Anna Roberts spent Thursday with
Miss Nettye Harrison.
Harry Nusbaum was in Baltimore Monday.
Henry Nusbaum, of this place, has moved
to Frederick.
Winter D. Jones, has sold his farm and
has moved to Mt. Airy.
Guy Spurrier and wife are spending few
weeks with his father until they can get the
house he has rented in Mt. Airy, which will
be vacated by the first of April.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
SATURDAY, MARCH %, 1902.
Sale Register.


Notices Of Sales, for which bills printed at
this Office, will be published under this head until
day OF sale for 50 cents. When bills are printed
lsewhere s1OO will be charged. Terms cash.
March % IL m-2 horses, cows, Jersey heller,
shotes farming implements and household furni-
ture George L. Shaffer, on the sullivan road, 3
miles from Westminster. Jacob HutiiDg. auction
eer; Thee Fl. Biggs and II. A. Davidson, clerks
March "a. at II a. ni.-Farm Of SO acres well i'm
proved at louisville Also horses, mich cows
Rpeifer ? shotes, Poland China Sow. will farrow
soon; farming implements, corn. prime timothy nay
26 acres growing wheat and some household goods
Charles +. Brauning.
March 25. II o'clock M.--6 good work horses, of
them leaders, and one mare with foal; cows, IL
fat steers large shoafs, sow, soon to farrow; wag
ons farm machinery and implements, harness. 200
barres Of corn SO bushels of potatoes 25 tons mo-
thv hav 500 bundles of fodder, &c. John II. Stem,
near Winfield. VIM. T. Wilson, anctioneer.
March Is, Mt a. Intending to quit farming, l
will sell on the Zollickoffer farm south of Union
town 10 horses ard colts. 20 Durham cattle-milch
cows heifeTs and bulls; 80 Poland-China Hogs, OF
them brood sows; "a shotes and boar, wagons
and beds and large variety of frstciass farming
implements; also household furniture, &c. Josiah
Erb. ]. Thos Roop, Auctioneer.
March Is, at 10 a. m.-Intending TO move, will
ss q. S Saps "a sow and pigs
Plymouth Rock chickens, wagon, spring wagon,
road cart top buggy. farm utensils carpenter tools,
hay and straw corn by the barrel, cords of wood,
8 cords of wood sawed and split, all the household
and kitchen furniture. lard by the can. &c Joseph
Ryan. VIM. II. Blizzard, auctioneer; Calvin K.
Chew, clerk.
March q. at u MS horses, colts, pony, 6
cows neifers, sow, soon to farrow; farming inn
plements and some household goods. John 4.
Shueey, near New Windsor j. Thos Roop, auct
March o. II M sharp-5 cows, bull, horses, colt
sired BY Norvalk shoats brood sows, 2 4-ho rse
wagons. hay carriages, binder, mower drill, Davis
corn cutter, harness. pows, harrows and all neces.
ehtirn butter worker stone jars cans, &c. Charles
w. Otto, near Springdale Schoolhouse,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
Work Not Suspended.

An item appeared in the York Dispatch of
the 18th instant to the effect that work, &c. /,
on the Washington, Westminster and Gettys
burg Railroad had been suspended The ru-
NOR was unfounded as the following letter to
Samuel NJ. Bushman, Esq, from Col. James
B. Colgrove. president Of the road. will show:
New YORK, March 14th, 1902.
Sa muel M. Bushman, Esq, Gettysburg, Pa
My Dear Sir-I have received from you
copy of the York Dispatch of March 18th,
containing IN item which you have marked
in regard TO this road.
The surveyors were called off two weeks
since on account of the extreme bad weather,
snow, rain and frozen ground. TWAS simply
a suspension and temporary in its character.
| know of no order from anyone to stop the
delivery of ties. On the contrary, | have
written to parties personally directing them
10 contine the delivery of ties. Immediately,
arrangements will be made for the purchase
of ties for the entire road.
The report in the York paper is utterly I'M
founded. | suggest that you have the report
contained in the York paper corrected in your
local papers. Yours truly,
J. B. CoLEGRoyE, President.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
Bankert,s Mills Items.

Many who believe in the old proverb that
"a bushel of March dust is worth Kings
ransom" were forcibly reminded on Mon
day, Tuesday and Wednesday, that soft and
pleasant weather in the month of March is
seldom of long duration, and are now in
clined to believe that March winds are boist-
erous and vehement to proverb.
Mr.. Henry Sell is improving, and hopes are
entertained for his speedy recovery. His
popularity is evidenced by the friends who
visit him by scores and are ready and willing
to render him any assistance that may help to
improve his condition. He is now convinced,
he says that the old maxim ga friend in time
of need is friend indeed,n is true, and
through the ADVOCATE desires to express his
thanks to all who feel such deep interest in
his welfare.
Mr.. Howard Petry has accepted a position
in the Touring mill of Joseph Formwalt at
Tyrone.
Rev. Fl. j. McAlister will preach at Baust
Church during the week commencing on
Monday night, 3lst instant, and on Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights,
April l, 2, 3 and 4, also on Saturday alter
noon, 9Th, preparatory services at 2 O. clock,
communion on April 9th, at 10 o'clock, a. IN.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
Party at Sykesyille.

Tuesday evening, March 11th, will long be
remembered by those who accepted the invi-
tation extended by the Ladies' Mite Society TO
attend surprise party at the residence of
Rev. and Mrs. Harris, given in honor of Rev.
F. Bayley. The guests were cordially net by
Mrs. Harris, assisted by Brother Bayley, who
made everyone feel at home by their genial
manner All had assembled by 9 o'clock,
and various games were INDUCED in, some
preferred conversation, while others enjoyed
games. At IL O'Clock refreshments were
served, consisting of cakes, confectionery,
oranges, bananas and fruits. After return
ing to the parlor games were again resumed
the evening SO pleasantly spent passed rapidly
and the time for saying good night came all to
soon.
1t is the universal desire at Sykesvile that
Rev. Messrs. Harris and Bayley be returned
for more then another year, as the church has
enjoyed great prosperity under their ministry.
By their congenialty and faithfulness they
have won the love of all their people, who
ask that they may be returned to US again.
Those present were Rev. and Mrs. w. Harris,
Rev. F. Bayley, Mr.. and Mrs. Schrader, Mr..
and Mrs Phillips, Mr.. and Mrs. Chipley,
Mesdames j. P. PhilliDger, Fivored, Weer,
Barnes, Bidinger, Favour, Bauer, Gates,
Harris, Mellor, Brown and Hepner; Misses
Minnie fnlinnger, Liiia hePheI, Gisie Nh
linger, Mae Griffith, Dorothy Mellor, Kate
Hepner, Ollie Lindsay, Martha Carter, Martha
Hepner, Jennie Fogle, Gertrude Favour,
Lizzie Hepner, Elsie Brown, Beulah Bauer,
Annie Forthman. Jennie jackson, Lottie
Schrader, Lucy Fogle, Ethel Harris, Ethel
Barnes, Maize Barnes; Messrs. Joshua Barnes,
Louis Harris, Bayley Duddrear, Harry
Weer, Will Forthman, Willard Weer, Arthur
Brown, James Carter, Jr., Carroll Harris,
Brooks Mellor and Eddie Mellor
Mrs. Jennie Selby, of Baltimore, visited
her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. j. P. Phillinger,
on Wednesday.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
MelrOSe Items.

Reading in a paper of horse disappearing
from sight in sink hole reminds US Of that
piece Of road, about IL feet in length, between
Melrose and Ebbvale might be equally as bad,
as there does not seem to be any solid bed
near the surface.
Edward Berwager moved from J. Calvin
VENTS house to Mr.. Lightner's; Charles
Stofle will move from near Ebbvale to Tracys
Valley; George G.. Bxler of Bachman's Val
ley, will occupy the house he vacates; Andrew
Eisenhuth will move into ]. Calvin VENTS
house, and Adam Fridinger will occupy the
house Mr. Eisenhuth vacates; Amanda Shaffer
moved into George A. Houck's house in Mel
rose, and John E. Rhodes will move to Han
over. No one has rented the old Wentz
store stand.
1t is reported that Oliver j. Hoover has sold
his house and grist mill to David N. Starner.
One gardner set out some onions in his
garden March 18th.
Old chickens are 10 cents per pound.
Something that your correspondent has not
heard of for many years.
On Saturday morning old Mr.. Barnhart, of
'.'Backwoods," died quite unexpectedly.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-03-22
birthday Party.

On Tuesday evening, March 11th, the resi-
dence of Mr. and Mrs. John W. Baker, near
Sykesville, was the scene of very enjoyable
birthday party. The guests began to arrive
about o'clock, and were cordially received.
Interesting games and conversation were in
dulged in until about IL o'clock, when re.
freshments were served in abundance. Plays
and conversation were again resumed until
IL. 80, when all expressed themselves as hav
ing spent very pleasant evening and depart
ed for their homes. The party was given in
honor of Miss Edith NJ. Gill. Those present
were Mr. and Mrs. John W. Baker, Mr.. and
Mrs. J. Wesley N. Baker, Mr.. and Mrs. Harry
H. Hobbs, Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas A. Thomp-
son, Mrs. Berthe Il. Baublitz, Misses Edith M.
Gill, Elsie Baker, Nettie Baker, Stella Saum-
enning, Mamie Thompson, Mamie Hobbs;
Messrs. Harry J. Baker, Thomas Lindsay,
Morgan Enos, Henry Gambler, Willie Thomp
son, Wade Thompson. Howard Hobbs,
Charles Bussard, of Mt. Airy; George Bopst,
Thomas Davis, Herbert Ways. Frank AIRING
ton, Virgil Baker, Frank Morgan and George
Hirsch