davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
A Mndal Child.

Dickie-Pa, were you a gooder boy'n
me when you were as little as me?
Father-Yes, indeed, Dickie. l was
always a very good boy, but somehow
or other I had great many serious and
painful misunderstanding with my
naranta
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
She Knew Her Husband.

Peddler-Wouldn't you like some
notices for your house, mum? It's
very cheering to husband to see
nice motto on the wall when he comes
home.
Mrs. Daggs-Have you got one that
says, "Better late than never?"-Week-
ly Telegraph.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

Ella-Bella told me that you told
her that secret l told you not to tell
her.
Stella--She's = mean thing--I told
hcl not to tell you told her.
Ella-well, l told her Wouldn't tell
YOU she told me--so don't tell her I
did.-Brooklyn Life.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
A Good Mimic

81 don't see what yoh all has to git
so proud about" said Miss Sadie Cot
tonball.
''Cohse you doesn'," answered Miss
Miami Brown. ''I'ze been studyin' de
white folks. What yoh wants to do is
ies' put on de airs yohse'f an let de
yuthuh folks do de guessin' bout whut
de reason ii"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Table Decoration.

Four rather small fern dishes filled
with growing ferns are sometimes used
to outline the center square Of the din
nsr board, the actual center being oc-
cupied by slender, rather tall glass
vase, which may hold any flower pre-
ferred, two or three stems with foliage
being sufficient.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
The Fruit Of Faith.

Sunday School Teacher-Faith, chill.
dren, is believing in the existence Of
something we can't see. For example,
when you buy bananas you know that
there is delicious fruit inside the
tough skin. Do you understand?
Children--Yes, ma'am.
Sunday School Teacher-Well, what
is faith2
Children-B Bananas.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Make, Money RslsIns POpcorn.

A. L. schaeffer, of Edgar county,
Illinois, last year harvested the largest
crop of popcorn ever gathered in the
world. From his 102 acres he had
l 800 bushels, yield of little over II
bushels TO the acre. II cost him $l7
an acre to raise, sort, shell and pay
ground rent.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Two Of Kind.

McJigger--I couldn't sleep last night.
Fire engines dashed down our street
and disturbed me.
Thingumbob--A fire alarm wakened
me, too.
McJigger-That sof
Thingumbob-Yes. I dreamed that
had died. .--Philadelphia Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Wouldn't Be a PARTY 10 n

Tailor-Can't you pay my bill today,
sir9 / need the money, as I'm going
to be married next week.
Customer "a confined bachelor)-
What? Going to be married? Such
foolish thing, and on my money! New
er!-Der Dorfbarbier.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Cut Up.

Doesn't your old barber shave you
any more3"
"No; he's entirely too musical"
"Whistled while he worked, eh7"
ooh, no, but while he was shaving
me the other day street piano outside
began playing ragtime tune. and he
kept time to 1t with his razor. Phil.
adelphia Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
To Mothers Of
Large Families

In this workaday world few women
ere % placed that physical exortlon
z not constantly demanded Of them In
their daily life.
We make = special appeal TO mothers
OF large families whose work Is never
done, and many of whom suffer, and
suffer for lack Of intelligent aid.
To women, young or old, rich or
poor, we extend an invitation 10 accept
tree advice. Oh, women do not lot
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
A Saint ljDon Earth.

"Pa," said Willie, "what does /.
mean to say man is 'one OF natures
noblemen?'
"'One Of natures noblemen, my
son" replied the old gentleman, with
q significant look at his better half, "is
man who smiles when he gets some
ridiculous, cheap gift for Christmas,
and exclaims: How nice! Just what
I wanted!' "-Catholic Standard and
Times.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Condition, ImDrovins.

Fastener ION his vacation)-I be-
lieve there is less of vice and crime
among the Indians out here than there
used to be. Is there not?
Commanche Pete - You're right,
pard. TIL haint ez many Injuns ez
they used to be.-Chicago Tribune.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
WomaA's Acquaintance.

Herr-Do you know my wife?
Frau-Very we'll.
Herr-But don't re member intro
ducing her TO you.
Frau-Quite true, but have new
maid who was with your wife two
months.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Could Not 3. C,II,d Housewife.

"And so you are married, Jack"
said dear old Aunt Polly. "I hope
she is good housewife" !" "well," re-
piled Jack Richie, "she's been good
fashionable hotel wife most of the time
since our wedding" - Philadelphia
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
To whom n Referred.

Sunday School Teacher-Now, Willie
Green, what are We to understand when
the Bible speaks of people who, having
eyes, see not.
Willie Green-I guess it must mean
policemen. n.-Philadelphia Record.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Taken On.

HOax-Funnyl Did you ever notice
it2
Joax--Notice what?
Hoax-Why, in the beginning Of the
world a rib became q woman, and now
it's ribbons that become q woman
Philadelphia Record.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
hIooksd Teuuh.

"will You carve, Mr.. CleaverS" asked
the landlady, as she placed the turkey
on the boarding house table.
"No, thank you" replied the face
tious boarder, ''let Mr., Hackett. He's
a stone cutter. ."-PhiladelphiA Bulle-
tin.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

"What are YOU crying forr"
"Me big brudder's 8 gettin' lickin' :"
"Ah, ! see! You're sorry for him.
"Naw, I'm sorry fer myself. He's
goin' ter lick me fer tellin' on him. -
New York Evening Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Magic Orchid Of Java.

In Java there Is an orchid, the gram.
matophyium, a II tho flowers OF which
open at once, as II by the stroke OF a
fairy wand, and they also all wither to.
gether.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

Mrs. Goodsole--why, Johnny, are
you Just going home nowt Your
mothers been looking for you ell after
noon.
Johnny-Yes'm, l know.
Mrs. Goodsole--Just think how wor-
ried she must bel
Johnny-0h, she's near the end o.
her worryin'. I'm jest beginnin'
mine.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Deal Mute Used Thr,al,nIne LANGUAGE,

For using threatening "deai and
dumb" language toward his father and
brother deaf mute has been bound
over 10 keep the peace at Blackburn.
England.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
So Mean.

Creditor (angry)--I tell you, ! want
my money.
Voice From Beyond-Well, you can't
get blood out OF turnip.
Creditor-No, but can out of beet.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Sheer Nonssnss.

"He never washes his hands"
''Nonsense!'
"No: it's fact"
'Then he's q crank, chr"
,''Not at all. He says it would take
too long. He employs 200 in his mill"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot Ease.
q powder. 1t makes tight or new shoes easy,
Cares swollen, hot. sweating, aching feet, in
growing nails, corns and bunions. All drug.
Sists and slioe stores. 25c. Trial package FREE
by mail. Address Allen s. Olmsted Le Row.
New York 80
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

Ascum-what's the matter with Jen.
kins1
Gobang Met with an accident while
hunting.
AsCum--You don't sayi
Gobang-Yes, he was hunting for
trouble, and he accidentally ran up
against me.--Philadelphia Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
She was RIShL

Wife-Do you know l have very
little MOUTH In the glass 1t doesn't
look large enough to hold my tongue.
Husband (testily)-It doesn't.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Mental Exercise.

Bernice-What is the nature Of this
brain work Cholly has undertaken
Hortense He has made his valet
take back seat, and he thinks for HIM
self what suits he will wear each day.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
He Understood,

Uncle Josh-You know what the law.
yers mean by "alleged," don't you?
Uncle Hiram-0f course! They mean
that the lawyers on the other side is
lyin'.-Puck.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
A Natural Conclusion.

Mollie-What makes so many cat
tails grow on this pond. Charlie?
Charlie-0h, they grow up from lit
tie kitties that people have drowned
here, OF course.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
A Chronic Borrower.

Brown-Jones is borrowing a good
deal of, trouble, guess.
smith-Well, let him have all he
wants; he'll never pay it back. Detroit
Free Presa- =.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

He-It Is pleasure to meet a woman
who has sense OF humor.
She--But, really, one doesn't need
sense Of humor to laugh at the things
you say.--Life.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
The Tandem liabIt.

"Why do Mr.. Paintbrush and his
wife promenade in single file?"
"They used TO ride a tandem, and
they can't get over the tandem habit"
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
The Source Of Information.

"How are you feeling, today?" asked
the personal friend.
"I don't know" answered the mon
arch, wearily. 81 haven't read the
papers yet. et."-Washington Star.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Doubled % AIlmOny.

"oh, yes, daughters fully twice rs
happy as she was with her husband" !"
"How so7"
"Why, he used to give her an all
lowance of only tl0, and now he has TO
pay her SEQ"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
LI.ut.nsnl Governor, In Office.

In Alabama, Nebraska and Washing
ton the present governors were elected
as lieutenant governors, and are filing
vacancies caused by the death or resig.
nation of the governors,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Onto HI. Gams.

Clubb-My wife's going around with
a chip on her shoulder today.
Chubb-That SO?
Clubb-Yes, she found one in my
pocket this morning. - Philadelphia
Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.--MRs. fHos.
ROBBINS, Maple street, Norwich, n. Y,
Feb IL 1900
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

The druggist who advises you to use
Hamlin's Wizard Oil for the cure of
pain, does you good turn!
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
In ENGLAND.

"Kind sir, I s'pose yer don't know
Of no one what don't want to hire no
body to do nothink, do yer?"
eyes. I don't"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Unlo,.uAsl. Error.

"What do you mean by this, slr3"
demanded the angry advertiser.
whats the matter7" inquired the
publisher Of the Bingtown nugle.
"This advertisement Of 'our delicious
canned meats from the best Chicago
houses. you've made II read 'horses. "
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10

1t sometimes happens that a mans
house Is his mother -in-law's castle.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
Jsalousy

'I understand Miss Goldstandard's
engagement has been broken, What
was the cause?"
Jealousy"
'JealousyG"
"Yes, her dog became too fond Of
him."
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-10
The Oldest and Best.


s. s. S. b a combination Of roots
and herbs Of great curative powers,
and when taken into the circulation
searches out and removes all manner
of poisons from the blood, without
the least shock or harm to the system.
On the contrary, the general health
begins to improve from the first dose,
for S. S. S. is not only a blood purifier,
but an excellent tonic, and strength
ems and builds up the constitution
while purging the blood Of impuri-
ties. s. s. s. cures all diseases OF a
blood poison origin, Cancer, Scrofula,
Rheuma atism, Chronic Sores and
Ulcers, Eczema, Psoriasis, Salt
Rheum, Herpes and similar troubles,
and is an infallible cure and the only
Rntidote for that most horrible disease,
Contagious Blood Poison.
A record Of nearly fifty years Of
successful cures is record to be proud
of. s. S. s. is more popular today
than ever. It numbers its friends by
the thousands. Our medical CORES.
pondence is larger than ever in the
history Of the medicine. Many write
to thank us for the great good SIS. S.
has done them, while others are seek
ing advice about their cases. Ali
letters receive prompt and careful
attention. Our physicians have made
alife-long studyof Blood and Skin Dis
eases, and better understand such cases
than the ordinary practitioner who
makes a speciality of no one disease.
~ ~ - We are doing great
~ OO good to suffering
- NA humanity through
AA2A our consulting de-
O~ partment, and invite
you to write as if you have any blood
OF skin trouble. We make no charge
whatever for this service.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA. Ca
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-10-05
COTTON MARKETS.

z NEw YORK, Oct 4.-The cotton mar
ket opened steady with prices point
higher 10 2 lower, and for brief period
was inclined TO WAIVER under realizing by
the room longs and some bear pressure.
However, as the weather south continued
too cool and wet for the best interests of
the crop and as the commission houses
were abundantly Supplied with buying or
ders. the whole l5st stdened up toward
the end of the first hour hour. January
reaching $50 and May a.1L Speculation
was fairly active all the early session
with sentiment disposed to lean toward
the bull side on the theory mat Europe
would continue TO absorb the bulk of ln.e
cotton as it reached the ports and that
domestic spinners would support prices
in interior southern spot markets The
private crop reports from the belt We're
mixed some reporting improvement, but
tie great ma jortty telling of short crop
prospects aud continued Deterioration;
period Of cool nights Receipts We're
again liberal. but were ignored, the trade
giving attention chiefly to crop and
weather reports The Liverpool cables
were a trifle better than anticipated, and
were accompanied by moderate buying
orders.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-10-05
STOCK MARKET GOSSIP.

The stock market was a Very tame af-
fair yesterday. Contrary to expectations,
and it is usually the unexpected that
happens in the stock market, opening
prices were not much lower than closing
prices on the day before, that is to say,
the difference was nothing like SO great
as was reasonably expected: as the failure
of the President to settle the coal strike
was not known before the market closed
on Friday
But from the time the market opened
prices began to sag. and there was a grad
ual easing off until the close, with only.
the feehlest rallies here and there. Clos
Ing prices were about the Lowest OF the
day.
Strangely enough, Reading was not seri-
Dusty affected by President Rooseyelt's
failure, although that stock is most
vitality interested OF all in the strike sit
nasion.
Louisville and Nashville was again
weak member. selling down to about the
lowest price reached since the Coast Line
deal was announced
1t might have been supposed that Nor
folk and Western would sell higher on the
prnlongation of the strike, as that road
is no wdoing an immense business in BIZ
like the other stocks. was weak and
went down with the general market.
The bank statement WAS a disappoint-
ment showing a decrease in the surplus
reserves Of 81, AS. 42a. There was de-
crease IN loans of Sl,SIS,1o0. a decrease in
cash of 81 500, and a decr./se III, de-
POSTS of S4,S43, loo. This statement is
made on the usual basis. 20 account be-
ing taken of the ruling of the Secretary
OF the Treasury that banks are not re-
CURED to carry a surplus against Govern
ment deposits.
All the talk now is hearish and pre-
dictious are freely made that prices win
go much lower vet before there is a turn
Tor the better. Predictions in Wall Street.
are not worth the paper they are written
on. They may come true. and sometimes
they do come true. of course because pre-
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-10-05

NEW YORK. Oct. 4.-FLOUR-Quiet,
buyers and sellers being 51loc. apart.
tents, S. 5OG3.7 %. Rye Flour-Quiet; fair
to good, S31533 40 Buckwheat flour
Firm at s225G25o CornmealNVery
steady: western, s1.34. Rye-Steady; 40.
Wheat-spot steady: No. red, 74c A
jump in the corn market sent Whea {
shorts to cover this morning IN lace OF
advance, as cables We're disapp ointing,
northwest receipts larger and weather in
the northwest clear. Subsequently prices
eased off a little under realizing The
closed at 74;sc.: December, 14ssc.
Corn-Spot firm; No. 2. Zoe. Option
market developed notable strength and ac-
rvity at opening Y per cent. here on !,
after which it yielded somewhat to profit
taking sales The market closed unset
tied at ls11sc. net advance. January,
5o11zc.; May, 4s15c.: October, e'Ac.; Novem-
oats-spot firm; No. 2, ss1sc. Options
generally firm and fairly. active on the
wet weather. October closed at a6Ac.;
December, 3Issc.
l2 5Se1 BEEF ham aa s5lassc. Cut meats
Firm; picked bellies. I30141sc,,; picked
shoulders, s115@ac; picked hams. n1:M ~ e
red da eonfnent stesmsa SOUTH South
America. s11.so;., compound, T:5oa5 20:
sides. sls.25121; ness, s1s.e5@1s.75.
state e'st dairy, : raslHsc. Gheese-steady:
new State, full cream. small colored
fancy, 12c.; small white. 12c. Eggs-Quiet;
State and Pennsylvania; average best,
Tallow-I7irrn; city, eilac.: country (pack-
ages tree. e5sc Rosin- Steady; strain.
common to good. s1.55. Turpentine-Firm;
53c. asked. -
Rice-Firm; domestic, fair to extra 4149
SIC; Japan, 4ssG43sc- Sugar-F'irm: fair
refining, &C.; centrifugal. sc test, 3 9-16c.:
refined unsettled; confectionery a. $40:
mould e $50 ST Loaf s frusss So
Coffee-Futures opened steady with
prices points higher, which was consid-
cred a. poor response to firm foreIgn mar r
lzets. Active general buying set in. IN
which Wall Street interests continued to
lead. and prices rapidly advanced 0Gl5
points Despite active proft-taking and
close. final prices were net 10120 points
cached. $3.50 bags. Spot Rio. steady;
No. Z invoice, 59-16c.; mid, STEADY: Cor
dova, ~ Gl2c.
Potatoes-Firm; Jerseys. s1.5Od1 So: New
York. $50 pounds, s15OG1. 10: Long Island.
sl.62@1.75; south Jersey sweets; s2g12i 70.
Peanuts-steady: fancy handPle a 5A9
Steady: Long Island. per 100, s2d3
Cotton-By Steamer to Liverpool, lac.
CHICAGO. ILL. Oct. 4.-Hgher prices
ruled at the opening on the Board OF
Trade to-day, influenced chiefly by the
Vet weather prevailing throughout the
West and Southwest. Corn was especial
" active and strong. High prices. how
ever. brought out considerable realizing
in. the later grain, which Impaired a
weaker tone to the situation, the weak
ness being conveyed to the surrounding
pits. December corn closed as@7sc. lower;
December wheat 1ss14c- lower, with GA IS
1std1;c. lower. January provisions closed
from a shade to sc. lower.
The leading futures ranged as follows:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-10-05
THE TINES: RICHMoND Va. SUNDAY. OCTOBER 5, 1902

market was quiet throug hout the short
session, trading being confined largelysstos
the December, January and March posi-
market 4pened even to a point
3A points before half was called, and
tl1erea fter underwent. a series Of narrow
fluctuations that brought the figures
down again and left them standing at
the noon close at Just a partial point
below Yesterdays range.
Cotton futures steady. October, s.:s@
S3i: November, S.43Gts.45;s December. s.47t9
s.o3; March, s.5s4s.57; April, S.57dS. 59;
May, S.591S6o
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-10-05
Or. e. p. WRIGHT,
Richmond Director.
e G. GODDlN ,
RICHMOND AGENT,
s12 EAST EaAlN STREET.

s7@73o Sheep and lambs-Receipts, EGO
lambs. S5.s59575; culs to good, $3.50 So;
yearlings, S41450; wethers. s.. 50@4; sheep
top: mixed. s3.75G4; culls to good, s2gs,So.s
EAST LIBERTY, PA. Oct. Cat,
TLESteady; choice, s6S0es7; prime, $50
GO; good, s4.75@5.5o. Hogs-Highsr; prime
heavy. s7.70a7 80: mediums, 4ogl:oo;
N.1oG7.S5; pigs, ss.4O46.5o; skips, s2@4;
roughs. s6QY7 .25 Sheep-S1eady: best
wethers, sS.s0GAT5; culls and common,
1902; choice lambs, s5.e5G5.4o; veal
calves. S7.50GS.
CINCINNATI. O., Oct. 4-HOGs-Ac-
tive and higher at s5.25976o: Cattlss
Steady at s2@6.5o. Sheep..SSteady at $l.eop
80. sLambs-Steady at s3.loGo.5.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-10-05

oil, like bread, is a necessity of life.
Ii is used in the palace and the novel.
It's used for heating and for lighting.
lis the basis Of many Of our most val
liable medicines.

liable medicines.
Then: 81 \
If this be SO, thereScan never be over
production of oil. And whoever becomes q:
producer by buying the stock Of an OIL
company which has good paying wells.
is certain Of steady. large and safe
income.
lucky offers Just such an investment,
having every factor that makes success
a certainty An abundance or TERRITORY
no.10 acres Of land in the oil districtl,
wells already sunk Of great productive,
ness. and others being bored A safe and
economical business management, ana
the Standard Oil Company fastening to
our door with its pipe line and their tanks
to be ready by October 18th instant
The increase in the value Of our leases 5, Is
stock. with the completion Of each well
our stock viii be raised 10 cts sh6aT ne
will be finished In ten days.
Our stock Is Slco par. selling g no nov All 81
40 cts. The DIVIDENDS IN SIX months WIZ
aQua1 its present value.