davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1902-08-23

itching hemorrhoids we're the plague
Of my life. Was almost wild. Doan's
Ointment cured me quickly and perma.
nently. after doctors had failed" c. r.
Cornwell. Valley street. Saugerties.
N. r. ..r,,4,.,
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1902-08-23

Three spectres that threaten baby's
life. Cholera infantum. dysentery.
diarrrhoea. DR.. Fowler's Extract Of
Wild Strawberry never falls to con.
quer them.
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1902-08-23

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAv
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets
All druggists refund the money II 1t
fails to cure. e. w. Groves signature
10 on the box. &c. s9is ri
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1902-08-23

Half the ills that man 10 heir to come
from indigestion. Burdock Blood Bit
tiers strengthens and tones the stom.
ach; makes indigestion impossible.
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1902-08-23
PENSIONS

.. THE .ss ;sss Z. s
0aySse. ntua~s 49, q ~ "a r. '111
ana New n1on1oA
California. 1851 O Il BIT y
1851 Oregon a. -
to 1856 ~. vi f. I'D.
Write me for ! 49, 80 IN ~
sstructions. ,,k,4.-<.. q s1<. 4 (.
Pension Attorney. ~
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1902-08-23

~
w. II. Greer, Of Deming came In
from the south this morning. and will
attend the meeting OF the territorial
republican central committee a. q
member from Luna county here tenor.
row. The other member from that
county. Cipriano Baca. will arrive from
Deming tomorrow morning.
James Grunsfeld. late Of the cloth.
ing firm OF Mandell u Grunsfeld. will
engage In the laundry business. He
\ will locate In st. Louis. having recent
N prchased a first class laundry plant
tiixre.. Mrs. Grunsfeld and son. who
areVtill here. expect to Join Nj. Drums
field h st. Louis In very short time
Major Clark M. Carr. who has been
In the city the past few days. will
leave tonight for Dewey. out west. and
from there visit his cattle ranch In
that vicinity. He will be absent sew
craI days and on his return stop over
here for q couple Of days, thence IA
Santa re where MIRA. Carr - y present
sotourning.
Judge II. B. Hamilton. counsellor for
the Eagle Mining company. cane n
from III Paso this morning ano wos n
consultation With Hon. n. \. vofgus'
son. one oe the owners Of the Old Abe
mine. this afternoon. The Judge VII
return to ~ Paso this evening. He
confirms the reported purchase Of III
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

The Philadelphia Times tells good
story of John Randolph, that descend
ant of Pocahontas who figured so bril-
liantly In congress as representative
of Virginia. He was once accosted on
the piazza of hotel by young blade
who had been boasting of his acquaint-
ance with Randolph and who thought
he could bluff the Virginian into speak
ing to him before the admiring guests
of the hostelry. He planted himself
before Randolph and saluted him with:
Good morning, senatorH
Morning. replied Randolph with
out the faintest sign of recognition
Zine day, senator"
"a fact apparent to everybody, SIR
came from the Virginian.
"Er - what Is going on, SENATOR
persisted the cad, flushing under the
rebuffs of the senator.
81 am, sir
Wild with indignation, the aceoster
made a detour. met Randolph face to
face ON another part of the porch and,
planting himself firmly in the way, de-
clared
II never turn out for any low, mean,
sneaking, contemplate puppy"
Il always do" said Randolph mildly
as he stepped to one side and contin-
ued his promenade.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
s-ss-s484 s-f9 0rs-..< 04-f skSss9
-
EXIT HE y
-- y.
CHAPERON
..... by JANE MEREDITH
Copuioht, 1901, by a. s. Richardson
Copyright, 1901, BY a. s. Richardson

-. BY JANE MEREDITH

8@s-f@@ 00t.-te0 -f-i-0 0-.-s@@ -s-i496
Every one at the Beaconsfeld inn
had begun to talk about it. This did
not make Jim Paxton feel any more
cheerful. To be outwitted at every
turn by lynx eyed and indefatigable
chaperon was bad enough, but to real
ize that all the boarders at the sum
mer hotel were enjoying the game was
adding insult to injury.
Up to the third Saturday in July
Mrs. Davidson had been an ideal chap
eron. She averaged three headaches q
week, and these demanded seclusion in
her darkened room. During the hops
she chatted contentedly with other
dowagers In supreme Indifference to
the fact that her charge, Eleanor Mont
gomery, was sitting out every other
extra" on the dim and shadowy porch.
She declared that one chaperon on a
sailing party was sufficient; SO, as
young Mrs Baldwin never got seasick,
while Mrs. Davidson invariably sue
cumbed to the uncomfortable sensa-
ton, the gay little bride went with the
young people on the Bonnie Belle, and
Mrs. Davidson read the latest problem
novel ON the hotel porch.
But on the night of the third Satur-
day in July Mrs. Davidson underwent
curious change. Vigilance was
stamped upon her usually placid fea-
lures, and she watched Eleanor as If
she expected the girl to be kidnapped
and held for ransom. Simultaneous
ly with the appearance of these symp-
toms Jim Paxton, joyfully anticipating
three weeks of Eleanor's society, ar
rived at the Inlet.
Eleanor, clad in a fetching frock Of
white mohair, with a spreading collar
of deep blue that opened to show her
graceful throat, was on the porch when
the wagonette drove up from the sta
ton. The other girls, whose elaborate
but diaphanous gowns had yielded to
the memorable sea air, looked limp and
eolorless beside Eleanor. Jim Paxton
recalled with certain pride of posses
sion that he had never seen her when
she was not well dressed. He could
imagine her In lustrous velvet presid-
ing over his dinner table, with the old
Paxton plate and the damask that the
Paxtons had for years imported from a
certain Dublin firm.
After he had greeted her, and incl
dentally and perforce number of 9th
or people of no consequence whatever
from his point of view, he retired to his
room. The first thing he did was to
take from his grip a small package
wrapped In heavy white paper. Next
came tissue paper of faintest blue,
then a deep blue case. just the color
of Eleanor's eyes, and last stone that
blazed against its nest of satin like a
comet In Il starless heaven.
cts nervy, sure enough, to bring
this down." he said, turning the ring
TO the light. But don't believe she's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
The WorId,s Lnreest Grab.

How would you like to have crab
like this squeezing your toe when you
go bathing? The gigantic japanese
crab, measuring twelve feet, is proba-
bly, the largest crustacean in the world.
The specimen is type of the spider
crab, which inhabits the waters of the
group of Islands forming the empire
of Japan, The body portion is the size
of II half bushel measure, while its
two great arms or "feelers" could cas-
lily encircle the figure of man. Its
eight arms or legs resemble huge
bamboo poles and are extremely elias
tic, and IL strung into one line they
would reach to the top of four story
apartment building. One of the ex-
traordinary peculiarities of this crab
Is the faculty of assuming disguise
by atiixing pieces of seaweed and
sponges to the body.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
The LAMBERTYILLE RECORD
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20, 1902.
NESTING WOOD DUCKS.
She Courtship Period Is Followed
by Very PrOsaic Married Life.

She Courtship Period Is Followed
by IA Very ProsaIc Married Life.
When n pair of wood ducks find
water and hollow tree to suit, little
time Is lost in preparing the nest This
task and the covering of the eggs are
performed by the female, for, to the
best of my knowledge, the male does
little more than sit around on handy
limbs and look pretty. During the
period of nest building and while the
duck is laying he is the beau ideal Of
handsome and loving cavalier, ever at
tentive and seemingly most anxious as
to her whereabouts should she happen
to get out of his sight. But with the
waning of the honeymoon he seems to
feel rather bored with the whole busi-
ness, and gradually he gets clubbyI.
g., Wanders from his own fireside and
hunts up another drake or two to help
him loaf away the summer. The busy
little duck keeps her own counsel and
"sits tight" on the dozen or more highly
polished iyoryllke eggs crowded to-
gether in bed of soft decayed wood
and down from her breast
Quite frequently the nest is at the
bottom of hollow several feet deep,
and no doubt the strong, hooked claws
of the wood duck are a special pro-
vision for the oft repeated climbing out
of the hollow Edwyn Sandys In Out
Ing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

In many Scotch families the old man
servant Is Il permanent institution. He
enters the service of n family when ht
is boy sticks To his place and re
signs only when the inflrmitles of age
are upon him Naturally he grows In
time to claim as rights what were at
first granted him as favors and If he
is opposed asserts himself with II spirit
of independence. An English paper
tells story Illustrative of this
A lady's coachman, n crusty old fell
low, who had been In the service of
the family in her fathers time, gave
her great trouble and annoyance on
several occasions by not carrying out
her instructions. AT length his conduct
became unbcarable, and she determin-
ed TO dismiss him. Calling him into
her presence, she said with rs much
asperity as she could command:
81 cannot stand this any longer, John.
You must look out for another sltua-
ton. You will leave my service Mt the
end Of the month"
The old servant looked ut her in
amusement for II minute, and then the
characteristic "loyalty" came to the
surface.
"Na, ma, my lady" he said. 81 drove
you to the kirk to be baptized, | drove
you To your marriage and I'll stay to
drive you to your funeral"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
A school of PoIEOnera,

A mcrcilcss school of prisoners once
fiourished in Venice. During the IF
tcenth century even the government of
the state used poison without any dis
gulse as weapon. Asbody called "the
council of ten" was appointed to deter
mine who should be dispatched, and
they dealt with the lives of princes,
kings and popes as one would deal with
supcrlluous trees in wood. A curious
document Is still extant in which the
proceedings of this council are record
ed. II shows that one John of Raguba
prepared a selection of poisons and
scale of fees. The fee varied with the
importance of the victim and the length
of the journey to be made for his dis
patch. For poisoning the Duke of Mil
an he charged 60 ducats, for the pope
100 dueats, for the king of Spain 100
ducats, for the great sultan 500 due
utS
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
wit of Horne Tooke.

1t is said that Horne Tooke, who ex-
eelled in that duellike controversy ex-
hibited by two disputants when pitted
against each other with only the
breadth of Il mahogany board between
them, was exceedingly quick and sharp
at retort. When he made his most
deadly thrusts, it was with a smiling
countenance and without seeming eff
fort or emotion. Replying to man
who contended that only landowners
should be allowed to vote at elections,
he said, pray tell me how many acres
does 1t take to make wiseaereT
When asked by George Ill. whether he
ever played cards, he replied, Il can
not, your majesty, tell king from a
knave." What can be more uniquely
comic than his saying to his brother:
"You and |, my dear brother have In
yerted the laws of nature. You have
risen In the world by your gravity, and
l have fallen by my levltyY-Saturday
Evening Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
Hia ErIend GeOffrey.

The following story, told by the
Washington Post, leads us to wonder
which to condemn first, the booster Oh
his critics. 1t concerns n certain mar
who has large collection of auto
graphs
Indeed, the envy and sometimes the
skepticism of his friends have been ex-
cited by the number of successful au-
thors who have set down familiar and
fattering inscriptions In his books.
Some carpers have even gone so far
as to hint darkly mt Il similarity Of
handwriting throughout the collection.
He recently purchased rare edition
of Chaucer, and one evening when a
party was gathered at the house the
precious book was passed from hand
TO hand. The owner lost sight of 1t,
but the next morning he found it lying
on his library table.
On the fly leaf was inscribed:
"To Jack -, from his old friend and
schoolmnte, Geof. Chaucer."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
WRITING THE SERMON.
Friday IL the Minister'S Day Fol
Performing This Task.


Performing This Task.
Probably few of the good people who
listen with rapt attention to the SER
mon which Is preached to them each
Sunday, says the Denver Post, know
that for nearly 300 years Friday has
been the time honored day for the pas
Cor to go into his study, write the SER
mon which is to furnish food for
thought" TO the congregation on the
following Sunday. In speaking Of this
custom clergyman says:
when Christianity was first promul-
gated, all preaching was done extern
poraneously Such thing as prepar-
ing n sermon was unknown. Many
gifted men expressed their views on
various subjects, then added few
words of good advice to their listeners.
This practice is still continued In the
Roman Catholic church OF the present
day, and | think that very limited
number of the priests ever write a SER
mon. Not all ministers, however, ad-
here to this rule by any means. When
Henry Ward Beecher was asked on
what day he prepared his sermon, he
replied, .On Sunday morning. of
course
"'Well, Mr. Beecher, don't you think
that is a rather dilatory habit for you
to get intoY asked another.
ION, no, not at ALL replied Mr..
Beecher In his quick way. You see,
look at sermon like some do on PAN
cake. They can be served hot or cold,
and like mine hot; that's all"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

One night came stranger, knocking
at Mozart's door, and commanded:
Write me mass for the dead
Surely my hour is almost come"
said the musician. II must write"
And again came the stranger in the
night and asked.
"Is the mass for the dead ready for
the playing?"
The tension of toll was tightened.
The Harmonies, filed with such rap
ture as only immortal spirits know, did
their utmost The musician lay dead,
with the requiem mass in his hand.
The next night came the stranger,
querying:
els the mass for the dead completeT
In the wonder and majesty of the
stars the seven Harmonies went their
way. Their light left culver of light
like that burning meteor streaks
across the affrighted sky. The soul of
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart winged
back to the place of souls, and the
body was tumbled into a pauper's
grave-a grave in which two others
rested, very humble and much worn
with toll No stone marks the spot.
The place has been forgotten.-Mrs. Z.
w. Peattie in Atlantic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
Nelson's Only Defeat.

Nelson, like all the greatest COM
manders ON sea or land, made his mis-
takes and his failures, but there is only
one instance on record of his having
been actually defeated in a direct at
tack. This occurred at Santa Cruz, in
the Canary islands, on July "a, 1907.
The place was very strongly fortified,
and Nelson, in the face Of fire Of fifty
guns from the batteries, attempted to
storm the town by boats. The attempt
was frustrated by the strength of the
mole and the nonappearance Of a land
force which should have co-operated.
A hundred and fifty men were killed
and hundred wounded on the British
side, and Nelson lost his right arm.
Two flags We're also captured, and
these are still kept in the cathedral of
Santa Cruz.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

to ride, even to protect her niece.
Goodby."
Jean went away smiling, and Jim
felt strangely comforted. That night
when they met In the dim corridor
Jean slipped something into his hand.
It was gray cube and it felt like
pasteboard. He glanced at her curl
ously.
"The antidote for an overdose of
chaperon. III leave the rest to you"
When the bicyclers started out the
next morning, something was wrong
with Eleanor's wheel. With commend
able patience Jim tinkered at it, while
Mrs. Davidson, looking remarkably
natty in her English made suit,
watched the rest of the party steadily
growing DINNER down the firm beach
road.
At last the trio started, and at the
first smooth stretch of road Jimmy Of
fered Eleanor a box of the best" II
she'd beat him to the party now round
ing the cliffs. She was off like the
wind, never looking back to see
whether Jimmy was gaining on her.
Once she thought she heard feminine
scream not unlike Mrs. Davidson's,
but she did not dare to look back.
When she dashed into the merry
group at the Point there was chorus
of questions. Where is dear Mrs.
Davidson" And Jimmy Paxton, tear
ing breathlessly after her, explained
shamelessly that Mrs. Davidson's tire
had been punctured at the first bend in
the road and she'd decided to go back.
When the Paxton Montgomery we'd
ding occurred, the groom did the I'M
conventional thing. He presented the
maid of honor with a souvenir of the
occasion, for, as he explained:
Jean, you gave me a five cent box
of tacks once, beside which this mea-
sly sunburst pales into insigniiicanee."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
The Certainty of Fate.

The Mohammedans have fable
which they repeat to illusti' g the GER
tainty Of fate. The Philadelphia Times
quotes 1t as having been told by Mr..
Robert Barr, the celebrated novelist.
A sultan was once asked by his ia
vorite, the grand vizier. for permission
to leave at once for Smyrna, although
a brilliant court fete was then in prog
ress. Upon being asked his reason for
such haste the vizier replied:
Because 1 just saw the angel of
death yonder in the crowd. He looked
at me SO earnestly that know he has
come for me. l wish to escape him."
go! Go at oncep said the sultan,
who then beckoned to the angel and
asked why the latter had looked so
earnestly at the vizier.
81 was wondering" replied the angel
of death, why he was here, for have
orders to kill him In Smyrna"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

been blind all winter and she's not the
sort to lead a fellow on" He laid the
jewel case on the dressing table and
beside it seven photographs of Eleanor
and thick bunch of letters. They
seemed to justify the purchase OF the
ring. Then he dressed for the evening,
slipping the ring into his pocket, with
the thought, I'm have this ON her fin
ger before forty-eight hours have
passed"
But he had not reckoned on Mrs.
Davidson. Before half of the forty
eight hours had passed he realized that
something had come between him and
the girl Of his heart. Before the given
term had expired he realized that the
something was Eleanor's chaperon.
Then he sat down calmly and took
account Of stock. Eligible? Yes-good
family. Exclusive? Not so much so.
No blot on the scutcheon that he knew
of. Rich? Yes, much better Off than
the Montgomerys and in conserva-
tive way. Rather good looking; we'll
dressed always; belonged to the req
uisite number Of clubs of the requisite
standing; could lead german: was
fairly good whip; never had been rec
ognized as bore. Great heavensl
What did the woman expect of her
nisce's fiance?
For how could he know that years
before his rich old bachelor uncle had
trified with the heart Of Winnie Blake
~, now Mrs. Prescott Davidsonf How
could he know the bitterness with
which the sensitive girl had watched
the illusions Of her first love affair fall
like mist at her feet? She had known
SO little and he so much.
Mrs. Davidson had been abroad dur
ing the winter and knew nothing Of
the growing attachment, between ,heI
Niece and young Paxton. but from the
moment Of his arrival she devoted her.
self to foiling his every effort to be
alone with Eleanor. Her headaches
tnysteriously disappeared. She assuna:
cd an interest IN sailing that was. dill.
gently supported BY a newfangled cure
for seasickness. At the hops she no
longer chatted In the dowagers' cor
ner, but her eyes watched Eleanor's
every movement. Clambakes became a
source of delight, and her capacity for
long walks discouraged the resourceful
Jimmy. u
Two weeks were almost gone, and
the ying still lay in his pocket He was
sitting on the pier, talking with Jean
Brown, Eleanor's most intimate friend.
There was q twinkle IN Jeans, eyes,
and, taking courage, he poured his
trouble In her sympathetic ears. finally
working himself up into fine fury.
Diplomacy. diplomacy. urged jean
when he stopped Mt last, only, how
ever, from lack Of breath. You're go
ing on the wheeling trip to the Point
tomorrow, aren't your"
yes but Mrs. Davidson even rides
q wheel
well. I'm going down to the village
now. believe can find cure for
her wheeling fad. Personally think
it's bad form for woman OF her age
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

An author who illustrates his own
novels has submitted to an interview.
You find that ii pays, don't your
You bet in lots of ways. For in
stance, | get paid for the storyf"
Yes
Then the illustrations of thu author
of II book are worth double those of the
ordinary urtistsi'
''Of course"
Then some fool of II rich fellow
comes along and offers fabulous sum
for the original drawings and wants an
introduction to you and invites you to
dine with him, and your fortune Is
made and your future Is safe! It's Il
great scheme, | tell you, and authors
are fools who don't make the most Of
it!-Atlanta Constitution.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
The Drop Curtain.

A youngster had been to the theater,
and upon his return his uncle asked
him how he liked the play.
"Oh." he replied, 1.-THE play was all
right. but l didn't see nearly all OF It."
"Why. how did that happenY" asked
his uncle.
Because" answered the youngster,
1.-THE roller must have been broke, for
the window blind fell down two OF
three esr-Chums.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26
The Large Schoolof Shorthand Z TypeVritiDS
OFFERS EDUCATIONAL ADVANTAGES THAT ARE
DISTINCTLY FIRST-CLASS.

The principal Of this school brings to
his work wide practi cal expert fence as a ste
no grapher, and exceptional abb lily amin
structor backed by es tablished repu tation
for doing
THOROUGHLY, SKILLFULLY, AND CoNscIENTIoUsLY
all he under takes to do.
For Ell ehteen Years Principal Teacher Of
the Shor thand Depar tment Of the Stewart bust
College, Has prepar ed more success full
teno graphers than any teacher that has ever
taught stenography in this section Of the
country.
Advantages that positively guaranteed
the tudent:
Hi Oh trade Techni cal ms tru ion,
Every possible personal encourag cement,
A Shor thand prepar ration that wi II meet the
r equi ements Of the better paying posi- tions
in the bus mess communi ty.
Prospects flattering. Seating capacity
imi ted.
Now is the time enroll.
School term begins Monday, Sept. |, e02.
For fur Their par ii culars, addr ess
S. E. LARGE, Principal
S. Broad ST., Trenton, N. j.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

Il think, my dear" said the proud
mother as the daughter sat at the
piano and let few thrillful thrills es-
cape, 1--WE should send Mabel abroad
to have her voice cultivated"
''All right" replied the husband and
father, "and the farther abroad she
cultivates it the Chicago
News
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-26

did you ever stop to think. my
love" said Mr.. Mlcawber, gazing al
his plate of lobster salad. that the
things we love most In this life are the
very things that never agree with usY'
.Will you be so kind, AIicawber.'
said Mrs. Micawber. strengthening up
''as TO tell me whether you are speak
ing of the salad or of me, sirT'