davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
THE ANCIENT MAIDENS.

A dispatch from Butler. a thriving
!own in the State of Ohio. gives an
account of the annual meeting or COR
vention of The Old Maids OF Syca-
more Valley The association is de-
scribed as very jovial one. having
seventyfve members in good stand
ing. The chief object of the meeting
seems to have been the exchange of
congratulations that they have up to
this time escaped man. They allowed
the impression to be made upon the
public mind that their achievement has
been attended with considerable diff
Guilty. and each one gave instances of
masculine tempters who had essayed
to 'outargue them as one ancient
maiden put it. But each one of the
seventy-five wise virgins was equal to
the occasion, and triumphed glori-
ously.
In the parable OF the ten virgins in
Scripture 1t has always been a matter
of surprise that so large a proportion
of them should have been wise. for the
Bible tells us that five of them were
wise and only five foolish. Now we
have still greater miracle in the
Sycamore Valley club. where there are
seventy-five virgins, and all of them
wise. Thoir wisdom consists, it is de-
GLAZED, in Lot having married.
The report of the old maids convep-
ton, for which we are indebted to the
Cincinnati Enquirer, shows that the
proceedings were very lively. Each
member was dressed in the most
coquettish and becoming manner, and
Notwithstanding the hearts they had
broken as they journeyed down lifes
hill, they were happy and careless, not
cappy and hairless, as old maids used
to be before the era of progress. They
played ping-pong, postoffice, croquct
ana various games of Sentimental
character. - The only really serious
thing they did was to offer prayers fo.
their unhappy sisters who had been
led into hymeneal bondage
II there are any old maids in Tucson.
which we very seriously doubt. would
1t not he good plan to organize as
many OF them as possible into an old
maids association for the enlivenment
OF the town during the heated speIlo
The meeting might be held very soon,
say while the sun is still in the sign
OF the crab. in Difference to the now ey
pIoded theory that old maids are
grabbed. Or it might be postponed
until August, when the sun enters the
sign Of the virgin.
The question of eligibility to mem
bership in such an association would
be certain to arise What Is an old
maid? When does an unmarried
woman become an old maid? In Holy
Writ women are divided into two
classes, namely, the desolate and those
who have husbands. This is a better
division than the modern one. for Desc
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

anticipate a pros eive and up-to-dat9
management OF office.
1t is probable Aat the substitution
OF Corbett for Cheney means that Bro
die. and not Murphy. has now the chief
voice in the appointment OF post
masters in Arizona. We ought to be
thankful that Brodie did not exercise
his power less discreetly. There was
no substantial reason why Cheney
should not have been reappointed, but
so long as those who have the power
to do things elected to make the
change, the community should feel
grateful that such public-spirited ard
enterprising citizen as Knox Corbett
has consented to accept the Office.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
YmMns of Wrath.

The singular habit of signifying an
ger by yawning is confined TO the
monkey tribe and is most marked in
the baboon family, though the Gibral-
tar apes also indulge in it. 1t is prob
able that the gesture is originally in.
tended to frighten an adversary by a
display Of teeth, just as dog does,
and that the constant wide opening OF
the mouth produces an involuntary
yawn. In fact, IL a human being
keeps on opening his mouth in this
way a yawn will result. IL two
strange baboons are put together in
the same cage, they Immediately con-
front each other and commence yawn-
ing, and If vexed or insulted by WIS.,
itors they will do the same thing.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
Fat Crystals,

II small quantities of butter, lard
and beef fat be separately boiled and
slowly cooled for, say, twenty four
hours. the resulting crystalsswill show
very marked differences under the mi
croscope. The normal butter crystal Is
large and gIobular. 1t polarizes bril-
liantly and shows a well marked St.
Andrews cross. That OF lard shows Il
stellar form, while that of beef fat has
foliated appearance. In course of
time, as the butter loses it's freshness,
the globular crystal degenerates and
gradually merges into peculiar rosette-
like forms.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
The TUCSON POSTMASTER
SHIP.

The news of change of postmasters
came upon Tucson rather suddenly. A
good Republican gives up the job anc
a good Republican gets it. The gen
eral comment will be that Roosevelt -
or his adyisers-might have done
worse.
Mr.. George Cheney has made a pop
ular and on the whole an acceptable
Official. Mr.. J. Knox Corbett. who
succeeds him. has served as postmaster
before and his record was good. There
is no reason to doubt that Tucson will
be the gamer by Mr., Corbetts past ex-
perience, and we have every reason to
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
Had Nerve.

well. amt that lovely customer
just dote on waiting on that kind
Did you see her, though" The shop
girl was bubbling over with rage. A
woman and her daughter had looked at
not fewer than twenty five silk waists.
At last they took up one, and the wom-
an brought forth tape measure. II
think we might get 1t out OF three and
half yards or three and two-thirds
anyhow. Just wait - twenty three
inches down the front. three quarters
for the sleeves, allow a quarter for COL
lar and cuffs. Yes, that1l do it." AS
she talked she ran the tape over the
waist, the clerk standing by almost
bursting with indignation. Three
yards of lace. one and a quarter of in
sertion," she went on, measuring the
trimming Put that down, Amy
Now let's go, We can get up waist
exactly like that for $3.50, and they
ask $14.9S. They've got their nerve,
haven't they?"-New York Press.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
lation is always regarded SSsy tempo

lation Is always regarded Tempo
rary condition, because hope springs
eternal. and SO forth. In the term old
maid the idea of permanency is con-
veyed. The dictionary defines an old
maid TO he a woman who remains
single after the average or usual time
for getting married Not long ago
The Citizen published an account OF
the wedding of woman Of SO in Indi-
ana. So it would appear that the
usual age for getting married Is the
age at which the wedding takes place.
If all women were maids, old or young,
as the case might be, then Freedom
would enlarge herself without limit.
and Liberty would cry aloud, and naa
would go to the club or somewhere else
every night.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
wa.nt His Hat, Anxwax.


Mr.. Weddle, visiting his wife's rela-
tives up in Maine, fairly had to go to
church that Sunday. He didn't want
to 20, but his wife thought 1t would do
him good and would be apt to preserve
the harmony of the family.
The sermon was long and powder
dry, and Weddle stole of into the
arms OF Morpheus gently and serenely
AS he did net snore, his wife did nes
suspect that he had gone to sleep
alongside OF her and gave herself up
fully 10 inspecting the bonnet Of the
woman In the pew In froht@
Like all things, good and bad, the
sermon came 10 an end at last, but
Weddle slumbered on like a baby even
after deacon began taking up the
collection In a hat. When the dewhy
was passed to Weddle, Mrs. Weqle
was surprised to see that he did st
respond She nudged him violently to
bring him back to his senses, and We'd
die. awakening with a start, sat up
right and. bewildered. ga5ed at the hat
In the hand Of the deacon. Then he
shook his head sleepily ana said:
NO; that isn't mine MAC. is gray
one"-New York Tribune.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
His Final Inntructi0ne,

An old darky who was fearful Of be-
ing buried alive left these final instruc.
tions:
After my time come lemme stay ez
long ez possible. Don't make de fu-
neral sermont too long, kaze dat'll
make me sleep only de sounder; but
blow de dinner hon over me. Ef dat
don't wake me, / is sho' gonew-At-
lanta Constitution.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
Prenenca of Mad.

During a performance at one Of the
London theaters a man and his wife
had to quarrel on the stage, the wom-
an In a rage OF jealousy, the man try
ing to persuade her that she was too
suspicious and too passionate. Both
were acting with great spirit when the
wife moved her arm too near the can
die and her muslin dress was In flames
in an instant. Both actors kept their
heads, however. The husband extin-
guished the fire and, proceeding with
his part, interpolated:
"You see, my dear, was right. You
are ready to fare up at the least thing"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

Z. G. Rathbone, let loose under the
amnesty law of the Cuban congress,
has arrived in New York and is pre-
pairing to start for Ohio. He will. OF
course, take a prominent part in the
management of the Republican cam
paign in that State. Rathbone is re-
ally splendid Illustration of modern
hopuhlicanism, even if he did get
caught. which is against the rule.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

Capacity and Power.
7.~E ET~szS

A man is worth to himself just VIZ.
he is capable of enjoying. TINS iDsas '.s
the utmost enlargement of his capaeis Y
He is worth to the world just wna' :
is capable of imparting, and this msa. s
the utmost development OF every ".
er. These two. capacity and poNa
form the truest standard. the Inos. 80 :
curate measure. of every MAN.
feld, '"rhe College Student" SN
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
without q RTvar.

Printers Ink undertakes to explain
why the newspaper Ia the foremost and
unrivaied medium OF publicity. ut
can be said of no other medium" II af-
firms. that 1t goes everywhere and is
read by everybody. A certain few only
read the billboards. the street car and
steamboat cards. etc, but the newspa-
per goes into every home and is the one
supreme source of information"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

1t is said that several persons in
Kansas who were celebrating on pro-
hibition whisky over the suggested gift
to the United States of a statue of Fred
erick the Great have suddenly sobercd
upon learning that it was not to be a
bronze of Funston, but of an old fellow
who lived in Europe more than a hum
dred years ago.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

Richard Olney put a quietus on his
Memphis Presidential boom. And . ct
it would be wise to keep an eye on
Richard. If the Democratic nomina
tiNn goes to the east, Olney stands
about the best chance of any one visible
now of capturing It,
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

Congress again threatens TO have a
wrestling match with the national
bankruptcy law. The great question
to be settled in getting a new bank
ruptcy law will be TO secure one that
will divide the estate among the cred
itors. instead of among the attorneys
Enu officials.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
An Old Verb.

To laZe Is an old verb. In Samuel
Rowlands' Martin Markall," 1910, we
are told that ''loyterers laze in the
streete. lurke In alehouses and range
In the highwaies." The word occurs,
] believe, in some Of Mortimer Collins
lyrics:
But Cupid lazeth 'mongst the faiery lassen.
Whose clere complexion he oft sweareth
passes.
Notes and Queries.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
LEI IhE CITIZEN FOLLOW YOU.

Parties leaving for the coast or other
resorts for the summer months can
have The Citizen mailed to their ad-
dress at the same price at which 1t ID
delivered by carrier. Leave address ut
The Citizen business office, corner
Stone avenue and Broadway, or tele-
phone Main III.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
F0FefhOuRht.

You are probably not aware, SIR"
said the angry father, that last year
my daughter spent $500 on her dress"
Yes, am" said the young man
firmly. II advised her to do it over a
year ago. when we first became en-
gagged"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
The Mornings work All Done.

Mistress-Is that sewer gas smell2
Servant 0ately arrived from Osh-
kosh)-No, ma'am. I've cleaned the
rooms, made the beds and turned on
the gas ready for the night.~-America
Hebrew.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

King Edward Is improving. and J.,
Pierpont Morgan never felt better.
This ought to restore the great Anglo
Saxon race to its customary equanim-
ity. When the monarchs are in good
condition. the rest of us ought to be
able to plod along without complain
ing
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30
The Test of Expertness'

"Is be really such an expert S'''''
rapherT uN
"Expertness is no name FOR il. ,,~s
just for practice he actually tooA w tn
q church sewing circle discuss'op u,
out missing q word. Chicago 'o''
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

Every one out Of bed likes to claim
occasionally that it is force Of viii
power alone that is keeping him up
Atchison Globe.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-06-30

Wonder il y. o. Murphy will still Re
subject TO the round robins of the
Phoenix parsons when be becomes
private citizen?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-05

by the ballot OF felIow-students of the can
didates and for the fourth qualification by
the mead masters OF the schools, and the
result OF the awards, that is TO say, the
marks obtained by each candidate for each
qualification. should be added together ana
the successful student be the one who re-
celVes the greatest number OF marks, CIV
ing him the highest all round qualifications.
HIS object in laying down these condl-
tons was to secure the best men for the
worlds. fight. TO bring them together in one
center and then secure for them the best
education obtainable. He has undoubtedly
succeeded in changing what he calls the
dull monotony of modern competition.
"Of Mr.. RhOdes's political will and tesla
ment IL suffices to say that there STANDS In
It's forefront the promotion, the unity or
the English-speaking races. and although
1t is not stated in his will. in written state
ments in which he has expressed his po-
lltical ideas he has specifically set forth
that the key TO the practical solution or
the question is to be found I'm a copy of the
constitution of the United States. what
an awful thought it is he writes, that
even now we could arrange with the po-
litical members of the United States Assem-
bly, and our House of Commons that the
peace of the world would be secured for all
eternity. We could hold a federal parlia-
ment five years in Washington and I'VE IN
London. The American has been taught the
lessen of home rule and of the success OF
leaving the management of the local pump
to the parish beadle. He does not burden
his House of Commons with the response
bility of cleansing the parish drains. The
present position OF the English House Is
ridiculous. You might as well expect Ma
poleon to have found time TO have person
ally counted his dirty linen before he sent
it to the wash and then have recounted 1t
upon its return
II have said enough. however. to show
that Mr.. Rhodes's last political will and
testament is as remarkable as the career
of which it remains a worthy monument.
At least l venture to hope that he world
will begin to appreciate the essential great
ness of the great man whom il has lost"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-05
WANTSAN INVESTIGATION
DEPUTY WARDEN BARNARD SAYS
HE HAS NOTHING TO FEAR.
Horne's Charges VIII Prove n BOOM
erang, He Declares-Ex-Wardeu
shideIer's Views of the Matter.


Special TO the Indianapolis Journal.
MICHIGAN CITY. Ind. April 4.-'There
is absolutely no truth in these accusations
OF Dr.. b. s. Horne said Deputy Warden
Barnard when pressed by the Journal cor
respondent for a statement. 81 have been
made the main target of the charges for no
cause whatever and know that | will be
fully exonerated by the board In its in
vestigatiOn. and am confident that the de-
velOpments will be startling in its effect on
those making these charges. 1 don't care
how or when the investigation is held-the
sooner the better.
''Ill cite you the instance of one pris-
oner to prove the falsity of the charges.
I am accused of keeping this prisoner at
work when ne had a bad arm until he be
came very i'll. from which illness he died
soon afterwards. In this case there never
was any recommendation from the doctor
10 me that the man be taken from work
because he was sick. but the prisoner was
excused by the doctor and sent TO a sick
cell and was left there, where the doctor
was supposed TO visit him daily. The cell
house officer made complaint that the pris-
oner I'm his judgment was seriously sick.
When I requested the doctor TO look after
the man / had TO take the case up with
him three times, and finally had to appeal
10 the warden before he consented to
have the sick prisoner removed TO the
hospital. and IL was reported 10 me that he
was not properly cared for after he was
placed there. The doctor came to me and
said be had heard il intimated hat this
fellow had not had the proper medical
treatment and seemed real anxious to tell
me before anyone else did. In fact, he was
uneasy about this case. The evidence in
this case viii be enough to discredit all OF
DIR. Horne's statements.
Il do not care 10 go into details as TO
the other charges, and. in fact, would
rather not be quoted. feeling that the
board Will acquit me on every point. The
accuser Is more TO be pitied than blamed,
for he will be the loser I'm the end. / am
not in sympathy with the report that DIR.
Horne was led 10 make these charges by
anyone else
Mr.. Barnard and Warden Reid have
steadily refused 10 talk for publication,
and II was only after strong pressure was
broughtto bear by friends that the former
consented TO make a statement. Nobody In
this city, outside OF one ex-guard, who had
been discharged, supports DIR. Horne's
charges. and the unreasonable statements
OF the former prison physician are looked
upon as spite work 10 satisfy a personal
grudge.
Horne went to-day TO Marion. from
which point he will handle his campaign.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-05
REFORM AT NEW O R
City Now 'Dry" Between 4 and 3
O'Clock i'm the Mornings.


NEW YORK, April A marked impetus
has been given the revolt" among the
patrolmen of this city by promotions made
by Commissioned Partridge of men who
started to take the bit in their teeth and
enforce the excise law, despite pulls"
The earliest and most conspicuous results
were a marked stiffening of the backbone
Of the police rank and file, heavy acces-
sions to the army OF revolters from among
those who hitherto had hesitated to declare
themselves and increased trepidation
among saloon keepers, whose state of mind
is now one bordering on panic.
From Harlem to the Battery the city is
now more hopelessly dry" between the
hours of l and 8 o'clock in the morning
than it has been before for years. This APP
plies, of course, to places without a hotel
license, but there was CONSERVATION among
the habitual "~all-nighters' and even the
Broadway hotels hurried lingering patrons
out at l o'clock, and the bartenders made
haste TO pull open the shutters and expose
the interiors, as the law directs. While the
humble patrolman has succeeded, with the
support of the department heads, I'm max
ing himself the bane of the saloon keepers,
the poolrooms, to which access is not so
easy, have managed, ii is stated, to resume
business on an extensive scale. At a large
Unattended meeting of what are known as
independents" that is roomkeepers outside
the formerly ~Well-known pOolroom ring. il
has been decided TO inaugurate a general
opening on April 10, the first day of the
authorities will take in the matter is I'M
known.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-05
DAILY BLOWS
Brought on Appendicitis.

II a person viii continue to put a little
poison I'm the body each day. for instance.
like a cup Of coffee each morning. when cof-
fee acts as a poison. and it frequently does.
the result will be an attack some day in
some Of the organs of the body. The little
disturbances each day pile up and finally
become a big disturbance.
Many cases OF appendicitis have been
brought on by coffee drinking. II first af-
fects the nerves Of the stomach. and the
disorder travels or down through the bow
els and results I'm some kind OF bowel
trouble. frequently appendicitis.
A lady in Fredonia. ~. Y. says. During
my school life. both as a student and
teacher. / drank coffee regularly. Most OF
the time / knew the coffee was injuring me
but did not feel like giving it up. First my
nerves felt the effect and later on constipa-
ton developed. and after that. the last
year l had a severe attack OF appendicitis.
My doctor and friends all agreed that these
troubles were largely caused by coffee
drinking.
will / was IN some Postum was sent
me By friends. l supposed IL was coffee and
hesitated at the first cup. bat when the diff
ference was explained. and I drank as
much as ] cared for. with such good re-
suits, | concluded Postum was just what
] wanted ana nave ueeu IL ever since. IL
greatly aids digestion. is nOurishing and
refreshing.
MY food and nourishment while gettins
well from appendicitis were Postum and
Grape-Nuts.
III 7 had known OF Postum years ago 4
might have been saved a tremendous
amount OF suffering brought on BY cones
drinking.
Rev. -- Is one OF my converts 20 pose.
UNI. lie suffered greatly from dyspepsia
but has entirely recovered since he qufi
coffee and began using Postum.
'Dr -. who suffered a long while from
nervous troubles. says Postum brought him
out when he quit coffee. and he constantlu
drtnkerA"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-05
MARTYR TO HIS WORK.
Young Scientist Contracts Tubercu-
I0sfs from One OF His Patients.

NEW YORK, April 4.-Dr. Clinton II.
Catherwood. OF this city. who has devoted
his time and wealth not only TO the scien-
tihc investigation Of tuberculosis. but TO
the gratuitous treatment OF the consump-
tive poor. has contracted the disease
from one OF his patients and is now on mis-
way to Colorado, hoping the climate there
viii help him save his own life. He is
twenty-seven years old and has been prac-
ticing medicine only a few years. When
he left college and started out on a career.
which, because of his wealth and social
position, was a most promising one. he was
not only very robust. but was classed as
an athlete. He became a surgeon at both
the Hudson-street and French hospitals.
At his home he devoted certain hours every
day TO poor tuberculosis patients. lie
studied necessarily and believed he was on
the eve Of important discoveries for the
cure of the disease when he was smitten.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-05
HOMESTEADERS DEFEATED.
Victory for Persons who
Land from Archbishop Ireland.

ST. PAUL. MINI, April A decision of
the Supreme Court filed by Justice Collins
to-day upholds the title of those who pur-
chased Minneapolis, st. Paul q Manitoba
grant lands from Archbishop Ireland. n
railroad company had claimed a large tract
of land I'm Traverse and Big Stone counties
as indemnity for lands which could not be
secured in the territory adjoining the st.
Vincent extension of the road. Archbishop
Ireland. under a contract with the COM
pany, induced hundreds of people to locate
on the lands between the early part OF 1850
and Dec. 22, 1851. In lSS the archbishop
took an option on $1,000 acres of land at "a
per acre and sold much of IL to actual set
tiers. In neither instance had the railroad
company perfected title. Later the grant
was partially withdrawn and the lands
thrown open TO settlement. In a number of
instances homesteaders entered the lands
In the grant and many legal battles have
resulted The act restoring the lands TO set