davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
TIE ONE ROAD HIT.

Probably the only railroad doing an
interstate business in Minnesota that
will suffer increase Of taxes from the
bungling Of the gross earnings tax by
the Van SAINT administration is the
Minneapolis & st. Louis.
This is because this road has 81 per
cent of its mileage in Minnesota,
whereas its competitors for the Chi
cago, Omaha and Iowa traffic have
only 1 to II per cent Of their mileage
in Minnesota, and therefore, on the
Van SAINT plan, would pay taxes on
only 1 to II per cent Of their inter-
state traffic, as against 81 per cent for
the NJ. & st. L.
Are we going to levy taxes on 81
per cent of the M. & st. L. traffic In
order to let the Milwaukee off with
taxes on II per cent. or the North
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

und balls. You see neffer boWled bud
vonce, und dot vos der onder efening."
you hat undoubtedly noticed vot
great greatness dot bowling bitzness
has got to be, aindt it? Efen der VIM
mems are almost in der crazy house
aboudt i'd, but your Uncle Dutley will
neffer go ub for der same offense uf i'd
shall be for bowling. Wy der onder
efening I vos SLIDING in der streedt
cars behint a cubble uf hot spordts und
dey vos talking aboudt bowling, und
spares und strikes, till I got such
nervousness dot nearly chumped oudt
uf der window und i'd made me dream
all night aboudt spare ribs, coal strikes
und dings lige dot. I kesS l hat der
| night horse, too, because der mutter
woke me ub in der mittle uf der night
time und set to me: Zach, Potter, vos
list los, Wy are you punching aroudnt
SO und schwinging your arms like you
vos chopping down some wooden trees,
aindt id?"
"Oxcuse me, Mutter," set, 81
| thought I vos in bowling alley alret-
| ty." "Vell," she set, "uf dot iss der
way you carry on in der alley you hat
| better go oudt NIT der baseball park,
ware you will hat more room, or else
| you might step on yoursellur You
| can see by dot, Louie, how I Us af-
| fected NIT der greatness. Der onder
! efening Winnie Neuhausen, uf Milvou-
| kee, vos here, und ne dared me dot I
! shouldt bowl him cubble uf games.
| Now, you know dose Milwaukee players
all dink dey are probably der best
| leedle players dot effer led der ball ged
off der alley, so set to meinselluf,
| Here ISIS your chance, Budweiser to
| elder mage some monkeys uf your
selluf or der onder Teller. Veil, We
hunted ub bowling alley We didn't
hat to go far, because dare vos dot
rumpling noise in der air vich listened
| to me lige der noise in Rip Van Rinkle
ven Chloe Chefferson vos here in der
blay house alretty. Ven We finally got
dislocated In Won uf dose bowling al
| leys der game commenced. Right in
| der feerst innings I mate strike, ad
| least Winnie set i'd vos. Id might hat
| been a 'kasipe" for all know aboudt
| i'd"
'Vot iss Kasipe?'" set Louie.
'Vot," set, you don't know cot
kasipe' ISIS, yes?" shall explanation to
you vot ISIS a kasipe. Won dey dare vos
| dree uf us shaking for der thinks. Der
furst man to shake vos der stranger,
| und he shook fife aces in Won shake,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
Budweiser Dowis a Few.

und turned around to us to gif us der
laugh ven. We LOGGED him in der face
nit such a solemness, und I set, "Sor-
ry, oft man, dot sticks you. You kasi-
, ped" 'Kasiped? Vot does dot mean,
aindt d,"5Ihe set. IVY" 1 set, you
got der highest throw der feerst time.
id ISIS impossible for us to beat id, und
We hat no chance, darefore you hat
kasiped und you hat to pay for i'd"
"All right" he set, It'll seddle bud id
ISIS a newness on me-" Der drinks yos
| on him, too. Louie, und dots vot ISIS a.
kasipe
Winnie sdit nod dink aboudt id or
| maybe he would hat tried to handle i'd
to me. Budsto renewal der proceed
ings uf der. bowling match, alder I
hat broken a few tinker nails off try
ing to led go uf der balls I manached
to vim der feerst game bud We hat to
play ten innings, und I vos ahet all
der time.
even We stardet der second game der
alley seemed to get longer away und
|, dose pins vos nod near so big. Some
way toe der balls would slib off on der
side und didn't hit some pins. Uf
! course I got beat Den We hat to blay
der ripper und chez Wiz, Louie, dose
i
could hartly see down to der end uf
der alley. Und dose ten pins LOGGED
ike a lot uf leedle matches standing
ub on der top side. Id got SO in der
sefe<h innings Louie, dot I couldn't
do id, so I grapped ub Won uf dose
leedle balls, lige big marbles, und
hurled id down der boulevard, I mean
der alley, und id vent so fast dot i'd
mate hole right through der mittle
| und I only got three pins. I got beat
dot game, too, und now I hat suspi-
ciousness dot Winnie lost der feerst
game chust so I wouldn't ran away,
aind't id. I felt fine alder der game
vent home, toog nice hot bathings
und chumped in der bed. Bud in der
| morning time ven der mutter called
| me l should come on der breakfast
| table, Ach Louie, couldn't mofe mein-
| selluf. Talk aboudt feeling lige an
oft skater, I felt lige two oft skaters,
| bud alder seferal applicationings uf
Chin Ponds extract Richard vos by
| himselluf again, ad least long enough
| to ged oudt uffbed. Ach, Colt! Louie,
i such feelingvall Offer in der body.
pity der poor vfmmens uf dey hat to
| feel lige ( did,! Ach, Himmei! it vos
| frightful. Uf i'd vos nod for being
Diet for so long a time could hat sui
cided meinselluf I am chust now able
| to be around omidoudt a feeling Of
painfulness ware I feel i'd der most.
IND I am all sthrough. Neffer again
will your Uncle Dutley rush into der
| game und grab ub dose balls und try
to break all UT der pins or knock some
holes through der back end uf der
alley until he s,geds sore in der arms,
| red NIT der face und der perspiration-
! ing stanting oudt in punches on your
| noble brow until der only relief can be
found In anoder kind uf bowling in
| vich high balls are mostly used, in
stead uf wooden yons."
"Dit you know yos a fine bowler"
set Louie.
| Eyes. you are" set, INIT your face
| Offer I.aubenheimer's bar" und
Louie va.7ze1 oudt midoudt paying for
| i'd. -Budweiser.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
REGISTER TUESDAY.

The hopes Of Democratic success
which now show out so strongly, will
be destroyed if Democrats do not gen.
orally register throughout both city
and state.
Tuesday is the registration day. The
Democratic vote at the primaries was
exceptionally small in this county.
Democrats should remember that fact.
They should remember, too, that it is
like the voice Of the pelican in the
wilderness for either editor or orator
to argue in favor of the party's prin-
ciples If the party's adherents have
failed in fulfilling the first requirement
to being able to vote at all.
The Democrat who does not register
on Tuesday may be set down as will
ing to take chances on his party's de-
feat. There is no certainty whatever
that he will register at all. If he does
not register he cannot vote, and his
party suffers directly by his remissness
1t is the party which is able to bring
out it's adherents to the registration
days that wins. Activity on election
day, however great, is of no avail, if it
has not been supplemented by activity
connected with the registration.
The Globe cannot lay too much
stress on the party necessity of Demo-
Gratis generally registering. Victory
even in this state confronts the party.
The country is aroused to the danger
of the trusts and the exactions of the
tariff
In this state the pranlzs of a common
public mountebank are relied on to
deceive the people into accepting a
continuance of his mischievous, eX-
travagant and unprincipled administra-
ton of state affairs. But the people
have long since discovered the trick
of the mountebank as the substitute of
the conduct Of the responsible public
official.
In this county the voters are ready
to confirm the Democratic party in the
control of the county offices and to
punish Republican dishonesty. All that
is necessary is that Democrats should
register.
Every good citizen should remember
that he is called on to go to the vot-
ing place on Tuesday some time and
qualify himself for exercising his vot-
ing privilege on election day. The man
who fails to discharge that duty merits
to be disfranchised. The Democrat
who fails publishes his disregard for
the interests as well as for the prin-
ciples of his party.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
Is CRIME A DISEASE?

Uncle Sam has an inspiration. He is
| spending over $1,200000 annually fol
| prisons and has reached the conclu-
sion that it would be a wise thing to
spend $4,000 year in an effort to dis
cover whether or not crime is a dis
ease. 1t is high time, too, according
to the government view, that such an
investigation should be made, as sta
tistics show that this country has the
highest murder rate Of any civilized
country in the world.
That this study shall be thorough a
vast laboratory is proposed in which
expert criminologists will take up the
abnormal American, seek to analyze
his characteristics, discover If possible
the causes of his abnormality, solve
the problems ot heredity and early en-
vironment and suggest new treatment
for him. The government is encour-
aged in its work by letters from Lom-
broso Mosso and w. T. Stead.
1t is proposed to select criminals and
otherwise abnormal children as the
first subjects of the investigation. In
struments will be used to measure the
acuteness of taste. touch, hearing, see
ing and smell, to weigh the quantity
of blood attracted to the brain by
dreams or mental work; to record the
effect of emotions upon the depth Of
ments or trembling of the various
muscles; to tiI1aA the brains speed Of
nerves sensitiveness to pain, heat,
cold and electricity; to record the &C
tual power of the various muscles-in
fact, to accurately record on paper a
mans entire working mechanism.
At the same time that study is
being made Of criminals paupers, inc
briates, insane and the otherwise de-
fective one will be conducted as to
normal Iren for comparisons. Careful
investigation will be made Of the
brains of noted criminals like H H.
I1OlluG5 anu w ll1ldIn hooper Dung,
now in the Toombs for the murder Of
a woman. 1t is a fact we'll known to
criminologists that the average crimi-
nal is somewhat above the average of
intelligence. The bureau Of education
has statistics to show that 4S per cent
of $4,000 criminals investigated had
been educated in grammar schools, 4
per cent in high schools or acade-
mics, 1 per cent in colleges, 20 per cent
in private elementary schools, while
only Ii per cent were actually illiter-
ate. 1t is proposed also to extend the
scope of the inquiry to mob infiu-
ence and the causes of anarchy.
The inquiry will at least be interest
ing and in some degree instructive, but
it is not probable that it will result in
q definite discovery that crime Is a
disease. AS a rule it comes from en-
vironment, necessity of the moment
violent passion and the like, and can
only in rare cases be traced to he
| redity.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
FUEL QUESTION RRoADENs.

The scarcity of anthracite coal
which has recently driven a large
share of the population of the United
States and Canada into a paroxysm
of fear that half the human beings
on the continent are going to freeze
to death this winter has set a large
number of resouTc eful people to think
ing and planning against prospective
state of things so dreadful. On the
face of the situation it looks only a lit
tie short Of Iudicrous for people to
become panic stricken with wood,
peat, Ignite, oil and bituninous coal
within hauling distance.
However. there is ample proof that
the feeling exists, and the "heady"
man is busy devising means to place
the burner of fuel in position Of in
dependence Of the anthracite baron, a
thing much to be desired in any event.
One Of the discoveries made is that a
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Letters From Seif-Made Merchant to
His Son-By George Horace Lorimer.
Published by Small, Maynard & Co.,
Boston.
Mr.. I.orimer's Letters from Self
Made Merchant to His Son. may be
denominated sort Of business novel,
for they tell connected story while
laying down commercial laws and
trade pitfalls. The book Is scintillant
with good things. It starts with John
Graham ut the union stock yards in
Chicago and his son, Pierrepont, a
freshman at Harvard. The letters con-
tinue while the boy is in college
through q period of wildcats sowing
to the taking OF the boy into the firm
in g subordinate position, through an
other period of parental pessimism
because of the sens fondness for buy
ing roses and lethargy in handling
business. The son grows little by little
in the good graces Of his father, and
finally reaches the point of telling the
latter whats what" and receives a
limited blessing. The book is full from
cover to cover of epigrammatic clev-
erness. Here are a few clippings taken
at random:
Some men learn the cussedness of
whisky by having a drunken father;
some by having a good mother.
The first thing that an education
ought to give a man is character, and
the second thing is education.
College doesn't make fools; it de-
velops them.
The meanest man alive is the one
who is generous with money that he
has not had to sweat for.
There are sixteen ounces to the
pound still, but two Of them are wrap
ping paper in a good many Of the
stores.
It's not what man does during
working hours, but after them that
breaks down his health.
You can catch minnow with a
worm and a lass will take your min
now. A good fat bass will tempt an
otter, and then you've got something
worth skinning.
When fellow makes the same mis-
take twice he's got to throw up both
hands and own up to carelessness or
CuSSSdneSS.
Seeing the world is like charity-it
covers multitude of sins, and, like
charity, it ought to begin at home.
Give fools the first and women the
last word.
It's just as necessary to make a good
first impression in business as in court
ing.
Whenever airy one offers to let you
in on the ground floor it's pretty safe
rule to take the elevator for the roof
garden.
There isn't any such thing as being
your own loss in this world unless
you're a tramp, and then there's the
constable.
Half the men who are with the
house on pay day are against it the
OTHER six.
It's pretty safe to bet that if a fellow
needs a six or seven-syllable word to
describe his profession, he's a corn
doctor when you come to look him up
in the dictionary.
The lady on the dollar is the only
woman who hasn't any sentiment in.
her makeup.
If a fellow has got poetry in him it's
bound to come out sooner or later in
the papers or the street cars.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
One Of the Great Books Of the Year-

The easiest way in the world to
make enemies is to hire friends.
To marry for money or to marry
without money is a crime.
You can trust woman's taste on
everything except men.
Some people. especially very Young
people, don't think anything worth be-
iieving unless it's hard to believe.
Half the people in the world take a
Joke seriously from the start, and the
other half II you repeat it often
enough.
He laughs best who doesn't laugh AZ
all when he is dealing with the pub
lie.
You can buy some fellows with a
cheap cigar and some with a cheap
compliment, and there is no objection
to giving man what he likes
The only thing you ever find in
pastry that you don't put in yourself
is flies.
Business is a good deal like a mig
gers wool-it doesn't look very deep,
but there is heap of kinks and curves
in it.
The only animal which the Bible
calls patient is an ass, and that's both
good doctrine and good natural hiss
tory.
When fellow brags that he has a -
pull, he's liar or his employers a
fool.
Education will broaden a narrow
mind, but there is no known cure for
big head.
One lie breeds enough distrust to
choke out the prettiest crop of con-
fidence that fellow ever cultivated.
1t isn't enough to be all right in this
world; you've got to look all right as
WELL
Because there amt any rotten apples
in the top layer, it isn't always safe
to bet the whole barrel is sound.
The poorest men on earth are the
relations of millionaries.
When the tongue lies the eyes tell
the truth.
"A nunQreQ men Will forgive q dow
in the face where one will a blow to
his self-esteam.
Pulling from above and boosting
from below makes climbing easy.
Golf Is a NICE foolish game, and
there amt any harm in it so far as
know except for the balls-the stiff
bails'at the beginning the lost balls in
the middle and the high balls at the
end of the game.
A mans as good as he makes him
self, but no mans any good because :,
his grandfather was.
Hot air can take up balloon a long
ways, but it can't keep it there.
Some men do days work and then
spend six lolling around admiring 1t.
There's more hope for a fellow who
is an out-and-out cuss than for one
who is simply made up Of a lot of little
trif1ing meanneSSeS.
I believe in short enga gements and
long marriages.
A violent woman drives a man to
drink, but a nagging one drives him
crazy.
I'm a greats believer in women In
the home, but don't take much stock
in them in the office.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19
WEATHER FOR TODAY.

Minnesota-Fair and cooler Sunday.
Monday fair; warmer in west portion;
fresh west winds.
Upper Michigan, Wisconsin and Iowa
Fair and cooler Sunday. Monday fair;
fresh west winds.
North Dakota-Fair Sunday; cooler in
south portion. Monday fair and warmer.
South Dakota-Fair and cooler Sunday.
Monday fair; warmer in west portion.
Montana-Fair and warmer Sunday and
Monday.
st. Paul - Yesterdays temperatures
taken by the United States weather bu-
reau, st. Paul, P. f. Lyons, observer for
last night-Barometer corrected for tenn
perature and elevation: Highest temper
allure, 81: lowest temperature, Al; average
temperature, 81. daily range, 20; barom-
eter, 20 93; humidity, Sc; precipitation o.:
p. M, temperature, 5S; Z p. M, wind,
south; weather partly cloudy.
Yesterdays Temperatures
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Such a thing as letting it's soldiers
out TO hire was possible on the part of
an impecunious nation in the past.
Modern needs were necessary, how
ever, to require the hiring out Of ma
tional territory. The lease by the king
of Portugal of his African territories
will probably be found to have as I'M
certain an ending as the like transact
ton Of the kheGive of Egypt.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The Republican politicians Of this
community seem to have reached at
least one conclusion regarding the
county election: They believe the
First ward will GO Republican.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

England's boosted sanitary measures
in Egypt seem not to be designed par
ticularly for the benefit of the Egyp-
tians, if the latest report of the prog
ress of the cholera scourge among the
natives is to be taken as anything of a
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

When congress meets, if the tariff
is taken off anthracite coal, the event
is sure to be put forward in advance
as proof Of the devotion Of the admin
istration to the Iowa idea.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Strange that the insanity of that
wealthy thief down in New York was
never suspected until a state prison
sentence had become certainty. The
value Of the stolen property is to be
accepted, no doubt, as the extent Of the
insanity.GlM ta1.J ,ns,l,5, ..i,lSss44,. e.as
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

1t seems quite evident from the
Meyer episode that the present admin
istration not only bound itself to
carry out the policy of the preceding
administration, but also to pay it's po-
litical debts.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The Irish members Of the British
parliament are contemplating return
ing in a body to Ireland. This an
nouncemenrs is not as interesting or
important. rs if they had under con-
sideration,A relnaining in Ireland per-
marently after they get there.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

If a few more actions were brought
like that of the city against the street
railway monopoly to recover for in
juries caused through the fault Of the
monopoly the idea of the streets being
private property would soon disap-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Louie" I set,
edit you effer
made any bowl
ings, aindt id?"
II hat bowled a
few alretty," set
Louie, edit you
want to challeng-
ed me, yes ?" Zach,
Louie, nein," I set,
OF am nod such a
goot bowler as I
might be, ad least
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The reported shortage in canned
goods will probably have it's compen-
sation in the 1essening of the number
of cases of ptonaine poisoning.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Chicago seems determined to main
tain it's reputation as a strike storm
center. Freight-handling in that COM
nunity seems productive Of prema-
nent trouble.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The packers are out with a denial
that theyShaEe formed the latest COM
bine in meat formed over in New Jer-
sey. They Easse not thought the for
mality of a denial of the old combine
at all neca ssary - Attorney General
Knox to the Contrary Notwithstanding.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The National Live Stock association
is one fsuhe9wonderful products of a
wonderful era. 1t has been quite busy
for q long time destroying the meat
monopoly, and now, having accom-
plished the giant task, to the satisfac-
ton of it's Esanlbers, it asks the gov
eminent TO take q census Of the cattle.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Senator Morgan, of Alabama, has
left some question through his vaga-
ries of late as to which party he con-
siders himself identified with. His
latest expressed conviction that the
neXt house ought to remain Repub-
lican for the benefit Of the Democratic
party leaves something else in doubt
besides his party politics. Anyway
Senator Morgan's seventy eighth
birthday fell On the goth of last June.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Edith asks what our barber talks
about. Oh, he talks about five "sticks"
every time we go in to see him.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Ellen Stone wants to go back to
Roumania. We thought she would get
tired Of the quiet life she is getting
in America
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Just now the servant girls who are
on the market are not pretty, but they
are pretty scarce.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The poster of the coming Chicago
horse show is done in eight fast col
OrS
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Chicago can get into more hard
luck in minute than Philadelphia
could In year. Chicago water is bad,
always bad, and yet the courts have
ruled against the South side beer gar
denS.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

Mayor Ames has evidently not found
change OF climate productive of
either his physical or mental health.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

A line of pt named MerejkowsM
has written life of Tolstoi. 1t is quite
meritOriouSoWSki
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

South Carolina hasn't shown any
anxiety over coal. Senator Ben Till
man can make 1t hot for the Palmet-
TO state whenever the caloric is
needed.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-19

The casualty lists Of the automobile
and the dirigible balloon are running
a neck and-neck race.