davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
UNDERTAKERS.
w. r. Speare,
Undertaken s. Embalmer.
o4o F STREET NORTHWEST.
Everything Strictly nrst-class and on the most
reasonable terms. Telephone call $40. ja7-iotf
What a swede Thought Funny.

WHAT SWede thought Funny.
From the London Globe.
A belated wayfarer was passing a public
house late au night when a foreigner was
elected therefrom who bore all the signs
of extremely rough usage, but nevertheless
was laughing immoderately. What Is the
joker the gentleman asked. Why" said
the other. "a man came up to me in the
bar just now gave me a fearful punch on
the nose, and said. Take that. you bloom
Ing Norwegian" i and he fell to laughing
again. But thf gentleman said. there's
nothing very funny In that" NO" the
man answered. but then he hit me crack
in the eyeshand afterward knocked out my
bloomtn os Ma. Ana .ake .na. ..,n 100 you
see anything funny" "Ho! Ho: Ho!' the
other Yelled "The joke Is that I'm
Swede."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
The Jewish Quarter.

The Jewish quarter is almost impossible
for persons with delicate stomachs. who
are accustomed to pure air. to visit. 1t
fairly reeks with stenches that are new
and strange. The courts within the houses
the pavements of the streets and the living
apartments far We have had the cOur-
age to see them are unfit for human habita-
ton. One of the most prominent Jewish in
habitants. a scholar and philanthropist
explained that the filthy condition was dun
10 the lack of water; that the water facili-
ties in Jerusalem were very limited. and
that all the supply for the families had to
be brought a long distance in jars upon the
heads of women and children.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30

General Joseph Wheeler. accompanied by
his daughters. Lucy. Julia and CARR.
Wheeler. lave sailed to Europe. They ex-
pect to be gone three months.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
PIANOS TUNED.

TUNING AND REPAfRlNG-PIANO REPAIRING
IN all Its branches by experts from the BRADBURY
factory Let US place your instrument IN perfect
condition musically. You'll be surprised a. the
myl4u 3. g. SMITH. l226 Pa. ave-,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
The Missionary Question.

The missionary question must be treated
more delicately in Palestine than elsewhere
because converts are so few. Since | entered
the country al Smyrna, more than a month
ago, / have heard of not a single Moslem
convert to Christianity and of only two Jew
ish converts, and | have asked pointed ques-
lions of all the Catholic, Protestant and
Orthodox Greek missionaries | have met.
The ProtestantS and Catholics both claim
converts from the Orthodox Greeks and
from other less numerous sectS that exist
here. l have not yet heard Of Greek mis-
sionary who has converted Protestant or
a Catholic. and yet all of them are doing an
immense amount Of preaching to each other
and good work in their hospitals. schools
and other charitable institutions. Their in
fiuence is also admirable in mary places to-
ward the improvement of morals and the
advancement of civilization.
We do not know what the country was
before the missionaries came here. but there
has been a decided change for the better
since. A mission for the promotion of street
cleaning and house cleaning, for the con-
version of the people to the use of soap.
towels. bathtubs and fine-tooth combs would
be very useful, and perhaps might accom-
plish great deal If they would begin with
the governor and work down. for the COVER
nor's palace is one of the filthiest places in
all Jerusalem. and its surroundings are re-
pulSive enough to nauseate a man with
copper insideS
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
POTOMAC RIVER BOATS.

Z. 8. RANDALL POTOMAC RIVER LINE CO.
DAILY STEAMERS FOR RIVER LANDINGS
STEAMER HARRY RANDALL-Monday and Wed.
nesday at pm. for Colonial Beach, Coiton's End
intermediate landings and landings In WIcomico
Saturdays at am. for Colonial Beach and inter.
mediate lsndings. and Bushwool, Rock Point Col
tons, Currioman and landings in Nomni creek
STEAMER WAKEFIE.D-Sunday, Tuesduy end
Thursday at q m. for landings to Colonial Beach
and Maddox creek.
UNITED STATES MAIL ROUTE
WASHINGTON. d. c., TO GLYMONT, MI,
and intermediate landings.
The STEAMER ESfELLE RANDALI-Dafly ex.
cept Sunday. $50 am. Returning about 30 D m
Passenger accommodations frst-class Freight re.
ceived until within half hour Of sailing.
E $. RANDALL, Manager. phone lf65. GEO
o. CARPiNTER General Agent, Washington,
phone 1I65. WM. N. REARDON, Agent, Alex.
ahdria phone 60 fe2Stf-.3
THE wEEMS STEAMBOAT CO
Potomac River Route-Winter Schedule
On and after December 20 the steamer Potomac
VIII ieave It'll st. wharf every Thursday at I'm.
10. Baltimore and river landings; returning leaves
pm. arriving 10 Washington early THURSDAY
mornings Al river frei:ht must be prepaid, Eai-
tmore. philadelphia and New York freight So
a. AcsS%%1d.tiSn fog passengers strictly
phone Main 7<S. 1e20- IF n
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
MONEY WANTED AND TO LOAN.

WANTED-$1, Geo, 30 DAYS AT 10 PER CENT
interest For two years will pay $40. ooo. with
satisfactory security, for same. Good references
given and required. Address n. j. e.. Star
Office my3D-Sts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
BUSINESS PROPERTY.

FOR SALE-AT A BARGAIN-A VERY DESIR-
able corner business property 14th st. NV.
my2s-3t LOUIS L. SHOEMAKER 500 + NV.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
SCENES IN JERUSALEM
MANY MODERN BUILDINGS IN
PALESTINE'S ANCIENT CITY.
Natives Need Soap and Water-Streets
Are Dirty-Few Converts to
Christianity.

William f. Curtis In Chicago Record Herald.
There is handsome railway station in
Jerusalem. built OF a fine quality of pink
ish stone. which is quarried in the vicinity
and generally used for building purposes.
sIust before the train enters the town it
passes through a group of attractive-look-
ing houses built of the same material. with
roofs of red tile and surrounded by orange
and olive trees and luxuriant gardens.
You know at once that either Europeans
or Americans abide there, because no Turk,
Arab or Jew, in this part of the country at
least ever kept such neat places or thought
of surrounding himself with such beautiful
specimens Of the vegetable kingdom. 1t is
another of the colonies of Germans. found
ed by the Temple Society. who have come
here. as they went to Jaffa. Haifa and else
where. to promote the kingdom of God on
earth and show their neighbors how to live
In cleanliness comfort and conIentment;
how to spend their time in useful occupa-
lions and how to deal honorably with their
fellow men-lessons which the population
of the orient find ii very difficult to learn.
The Temple Society does no evangelical
work, although il is founded upon religious
principles. 1t is organized to promote the
material welfare of the people of Palestine.
and, although there is not much improve
ment to be noticed yet. they have probably
made as many converts as the other mis-
Sionary societies, certainly more than the
missions to the Jews.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
TherrmO Electric Imsfitagh
DIR. LEATHERMAN.
Regular Graduate Two Schools.

AuthoriE..i TO treat Diseases OF the Brain and
sr. kidneys. Bladder. Nose. Throat and Lungs.
Structure. farcOceie and Hydrocele cured without
eating OF operation. No palm. No loss Of time.
Blood Diseases and Disorders Of the Urinary Organs
promptly relieved and permanently cured by safe
methods. Vitality restored. Charges low. Free
consultation In rerscn or by letter. Hours 10 to /
aud to @. Sunday, 10 to 1S. mhl2. 3m.Il
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30
WHITE STAR LINE.

NEW EENSTOwN-LIyERPoOI.
Majestic. June 4, noon Teutonic. June IT, 10 am
Celtic. -. June g. pm Cymrc. June 30 8 pm
Germanic June IL. noon Oceanic. June 25 g. 80 am
For rates Sailings md furthe- nforma tion s,,p!y
to G. w. MOSS. 1911 G st. NV. mh1-l56t-S
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30

$4,000 FOR YOU
ON GOOD SECOND-TRUST LOANS.
have the above sum idle and wish 6re; win
accept second trust loans. Commission charged
D. O. real estate only.
Address SECOND TRUST LOANS. Star once.
n,v2i-9fs-G
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30

FOR SALE s.. 65O-
Beautiful. new 3-sto-y 10-room brick dwelling.
Lot 1Sx95. alley.
212O LIST St NV
Well constructed. we'll planned Parlor large
reception hall, dining room. pantry and kitchen
on first floor; large bed and tiled la 18th
on second 2 fine rooms third; front and rear
stairways; 2-story back porcn.
STONE < FAIRFAX. 500 & sos st. W.
my2S-3t
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-05-30

J. e BATES.
Public Accountant and Auditor
Room 10. Washington Loan and Trust building,
9th and stst ". Telephone No. 872 delft
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
alexandria Gazeffe..
EVENING. AUG. 10. 1902
The Turk and Life Insurance.

The Turk and Life Insurance.
One man was complaining that he
had insured twenty years before In
mutual benefit company which prom
ised all sorts Of things, and now the
time was up he received less than he
would have done If he had invested bis
money elsewhere. A wise Turk who
was sitting close by said 1t reminded
him of camel belonging to friend Of
his. Il was q most intelligent brute,
and the owner was convinced that If
he found a really good teacher 1t could
be taught to talk. Presently Hodga
appeared who said he was of the same
opinion and would teach 1t, but 1t
would take long time, probably thirty
years. The owner was delighted and
agreed to pay the Hodga a fixed sum
per annum and big bonus when the
animal talked, the Hodga promising to
Day a heavy fine if 1t did not. A friend
afterward went to the Hodga and said:
"What on earth induced you to make
that agreement? You know you can
never teach the camel to talk" "Oh,"
said the Hodga, 81 know that, but dur
ting the thirty. years either 1 shall
die or the owner will or the camel.
Anyhow, I am all right. as l have my
fixed income. New York Commercial
Advertiser.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
A Young LADY'SLIFE SAVED.
At Panama, Colombia, by Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy.

DR.. Chas. H. Utter, prominent
physician, of Panama, Colombia, in a
recent letter states Last March
had as a patient a young lady sixteen
years Of age, who had very bad attack
Of dysentery. Everything | prescribed
for her proved Intellectual and she was
growing worse every hour. Her parents
were sure she would die. She had be-
come so weak that she could not turn
over in bed. What to do at this critical
moment was a study for me, but |
thought of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy and as a last
resort prescribed it. The most wonder
full result was effected. Within eight
hours she was feeling much better; in
side of three days she was upon her feet
and at the end of one week was entirely
we'll" For sale by Richard Gibson,
druggist.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
Washington, Alexandria &
lit. Vernon Railway.
In eject May /, 1902.
LEAVE ALEXANDRIA.


For Washington, from corner King and
] Royal streets, also stops at KinRand Washing
! ton and King and Payne streets, week days
at sos, 623, 65j, no (expfess), ~, o.,
! 5 Is (exprcss), $50, 900, $50, 100. 1885.
1856, II -, II - q. m. lexprcssl, y Il, - %
| (express). / o.. o. So (cxprcss). ~. iG
| (exprcss), 300, $50, 34j (expres.l, J r. 436
(express), 40, . - (cxpress), . s., COZ. $50,
200, Z - (cxpress), S % s -, go, 10 - and
SHnldays-7oo. SIS. 9oo. 045. 1925. 10 -.
II 10. II IS q. H., T. -, - -, H. I ~, . ~,
245 315, 3ij, 10, AS, > Is, ; a., e 10, o -,
H., : -, s -, ~, $50, 10 ID and II ID p. M.
Leave Alexandria for -Four Mile Run On
addition TO local trains for Washington, week
lays, az II - p. M. and - 50 %. ID. Sundays
II - p. m. and l225a. 10.
LEAVE WASHINGTON.
For Alexandria, from the corner fPcnnsyi-
vania avenue and l3i street, week days, G30
70l, 730, 500, so, 30 92j, 1000, lO25,
II 90, II 80 n. m. and 1905 (eXprcss), y 30,
- A., / % (cxpress), -, 90, 23O, 3u2 lex
press, $780, $50, II (cxprs), 1913, 45l,
sos, y (cxprcss), 3 40, Cos, go Z o., I 80,
500, -, 93O, 30 ~, y 20 aEd n ~ p. m.
Sundays -, 900, 94j, 1890. II 90. II 20
q. m. 1900 noon, 1880. lOO 30, POO, 23O
800, $3.50, 400 43O, 800 $50, 600, $50, zoo,
30, 500, a. $50, 10 -, II ~ and II 80 p. III.
FOR MOUNT VERNON.
Leave Alexandria for Mount Vernon. week
days, $50, 702, $50, 1882, II 80 q. IN. T. -,
1872, %, 33l, 4Oj, 80, . 81, IS and 1902
p. m.
Sundays-702, 9S2 a. NJ, 232, . %, 4 80,
81 OF, IS and 1902 p. IN.
Leave Mount Vernon, week days, nj 6 A,
40, 925, II 10 q. m. 1920, l. ~, 20, 20,
1 10, , %, . so, 6 40 S - and 10 ~ p. IN.
Sundays 80, 10 - a. m, 10, 3 10, . 30
6 40, s IS and 10 20 p. IL.
FOR ROssLYN.
Leave Alexandria for Rosslyn, week. DAYS.
30, G2i, 655, 10, 500 80, 900, 1000, 1856
q. m, T. -. u ii. 46, . AS, 10, 30, . %,
A., g o., 90 and COP. IN.
Sundays -, 900, 945, 1915, II - q. M,
l24j, A, . %, 545, AS, 545, 6 Is and Is
pm.
Leave Rosslyn for Alexandria, week days,
62S, 200, 40. IS, s 81, 200, 1901, 1856,
II 46, n. NJ, 1249, 13l, 2.27, 3 p, 439, 30,
900, g. p, 7O2, 756 and IS p. m.
Sundays -, ~, 1925. n II q. m, 1921.
12l, 22i, 32i, 42l, 81, G2i, 72l and p
p. m.
Baggage checked and carried on the follow
ing trains from Alexandria for Washington
week days: $50, and 10 80 a. m, 70, 8 % and
6O7 p. IN.
Sundays Is a. m. and 6 pm.
Parcels carried.
Freight carried daily, morning and evening.
in each direction. Nofreight accepted unless
delivered at the station at least 30 minutes be-
fore the departure Of the freight trains.
CLARENCE p. KING, j. COLyIN,
President. Superintendent.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
MEDICINAL.
More Harmful
Than Alcohol
Overeating Worst Form
of IntemperanCe.

nyourfood Is undigested, you are I'M.
derfed, no matter how much you eat.
And the underfed man Is, to the extent
of the undertaking, crippled for the
battle of life. On the other hand,
there Is such a thing as overeating.
The harm done by Indigestion caused
by overloaded stomachs exceeds that
from the increased heart beats caused
by the use OF alcohol or whiskey.
Eat as much good food as you need
but don't overload the stomach. II
your stomach Is weak II may refuse to
digest what you cat. Then you ought
to use good digestant like Kod0l Dys-
pepsia Cure, which digests what you
eat without the stomach's aid. This
rest and the wholesome tonics con-
tanned in Kodol Dyspepsia Cure soon
restore health. You don'thave to diet.
Don't eat too much. That's harmful.
But eat enough and of sufficient varie-
ty. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure will digest
It. It quickly relieves the sensation
OF fulness and blOating from which
some people suffer after meals. 1t
prevents belching and absolutely cures
Indigestion and other stomach troub-
les. Equally good for children.
Lemuel James, Marysville, o.. says; u suf-
Tered from dyspepsia for thirty years but
few bottles of Kodol Dyspepsia Cure complete
ly cured me and heartily recommend 1t 70
all sufferers from this disease"
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
Cures ali Stomach Troubles.
Prepared only by L. c. DEWITT & Co.. Chicago.
ms m
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
RAILROADS
SOUTHERN RAILWAY.
Schedule corrected to Nay p, 1902.
Trains leave Southern Railway Station,
AleXandria:


Alexandria
S.23 4. M.-Daily-Local for Ilarrisonburg
WarrentOn, Charlotte and way stations.
1i:Oj \. M.-Dgily-t Leaves Washington
Southern Station )--Wasbington Richmond
and Florida Limited via Richmond snd Dam
vile, frsl-class coach 10 jacksonville and
dawing-room and sleeper to y. Augustine.
1885 4. M.-Daily-U. S. Fast Nail. First
class coaches and drawing-room sleeper to
New Orleans. Dining ear service.
1857 a. M.-Neek Days-Local for War
renton and Charlottesville.
4:23 p. M.--WeeS Days-LOcal for Iiar-
risonburg and way stations on Manassas
49, p M.-Daily--Local for Warrenton and
Charlottesville.
9:O7 p M.--Daily-New York and Atlanta
Express-Firt class coach and sleeper to At
lania. Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays
Sunset Route Tourist sleeper Washington to
San Francisco.
1910 p. M.-Daily-New York and Florida
Express. First class coach aud sleeper 10 Sa-
vannah, jacksonville and Port Tampa
Sleeper 10 Augusta, with connections for
Aiken, SummeWille, Charleston and Atlanta.
Dining ear service.
1921 p. Washington and Chat
tan0oga Limited (via lynchburgD First
class coach and sleeping car TO Roanoke,
Knoxville, Chattanooga and Memphis. Sleep
er to New Orleans. Dining ear service.
11:0j p. M.-Daily-W Washington and South
western Limited al Pullman train, club
and observation cars to Atlanta and Macon.
Sleepers 20 Nashville, Atlanta, Macon, Mem
phis and New Orleans. Dining ear service.
TRAINS on BLUEMONT BRANCH
Leave Alexandria at 7:57 4. ", 100 and
l:j5 p NJ week days: 9.Os A. VI. and 6.33 4.
VI. Sundays only for Bluemont, and 6:33 =.
NJ week days for Icesburg.
Through trains from the South arrive at Al
exandria GIL, 6:32, 40 and 9:2J \. ". and
l:40 and S.J3 p N. daily From Harrison
burg ll:l6 a. VI. week days and 9:20 p. VI.
daily. From Charlottesville sos 4. NJ and
1920 p. VI. daily.
For detailed schedule figures, tickets, Pull
man reservation, etc., apply TO w. G.. lie
IlEW, ticket agent Alexandria, Va.
G. VI. ACKEKT, General Manager.
5. II. HABDWiCK, Gen Passenger Agent.
l.. 5. Brown, General Agent.
Washington, d. c.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
SOmnambuiism.

Blond persons are more apt to be
somnambulists than dark folk, and in
cold climates there is more somnam-
bulism than in warm ones. In certain
Greenland villages the hut doors are
locked from without by Waterman IN
order that those within may not come
forth In their sleep and maybe freeze
70 death.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
One Way to Cut Brass.

To cut sheet brass chemically the fol-
lowing method meets with great sue
cess: Make q strong solution Of bichlo-
ride of mercury In alcohol. With
Quill pen draw line across the brass
where it is to be cut. Let 1t dry on, and
with the same pen draw over this line
with nitric acid The brass may then
be broken across like glass cut with
diamond.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
To NV Friends.

1t is with joy l tell you what Kodol did foi
me; was troubled with my stomach for sew
eral months. Upon being advised to ust
kodol, did so, and words cannot tell the
good it has done me. a neighbor had dys-
pepsia SO that he had tried most everything.
| told him to use Kodol. Words of gratitude
have come to me from him because recon.
mended it.-Geo. w. Fry, Viola, Iowa.
Health and strength, Of mind and body. de-
pend on the stomach, and normal activity OF
the digestive organs. Kodol, the great recon-
structive tonic, cures all stomach and bowel
troubles, indigestion, dyspepsia. Kodol di.
gests any good flood you eat Take dose
after meals, For sale by Z, S, Leadbeatet 4
Sons,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
Not Very Smart.

'There's no use in trying to make me
believe that Francis Bacon was a very
smart man." said Senator Sorghum.
Have you read any of his works~
mo, but his biography shows that
when there was a little financial deal
on hand he wasn't clever enough to
keep from getting caught Washing
ton Star.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
spnring His Feelings,

] Hettie-Now that you have broken
your engagement with Fred, shall you
return to him the diamond ring he
gave your
Minna-Certainly not, Hettie. 1t
would be cruel to give him a thing
zhat would be q constant reminder Of
the happiness he had mlssed.--Boston
Transcript.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
Washington Southern Ry.
IN nd IN b. ~.

Schedule in elect Nay ., 1902
Trains leave station corner Fayctte and
Cameron streets for Washington and points
north at 75S, s OF and 954 a. m, T. -, . 81,
100, s 10, Q - and II % p. m, week days.
Sunday IS, 9J1 and II 80 a. m, 90,
5 ~, 10 and II % :. ~
For Fredericksburg, Richmond and points
south &C AS, ! 50 local, 1853 and II % IL.
M, $50, 40 local, and 10 p. III, week
days.
Sundays-l4S, 1855 and l1Oj q. H., 3 80,
4 80 Qocal), and l. p. m.
Accommodation for Quaniico 20 q. m. sun
day only and IA p. M week days S2j p.
m. except Saturday.
W. p. TAYLOR, Traffic Manager
w. ID. Duke. Get eal Manager.
E.T. ID. MYERS President.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
Gold Pens.

The first gold pens made in this coun-
try were all manufactured by hand,
the gold being cut from strips of the
metal by scissors and every subsequent
operation being performed by hand.
These handmade gold pens cost from
IS to $40 and were far inferior TO the
machine made article Of the present
daV
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
EoFefhOuRlt.

"You are probably not aware, sir"
said the angry father, that last year
my daughter spent $1,000 on her dress"
Eyes, l am" said the young man
firmly. 81 advised her to do it over a
year ago, when we first became en-
ragged"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
An fnsInuating Missive.

He was a German student, and this
was the letter he addressed to his I'M
Gle:
Dear Uncle-A very strange thing hap
pened yesterday. I went to see friend
of mine at the bank who knows your
handwriting very well. and he thought
you were i'll. as had not lately presented
any checks signed by you, He begs to be
remembered TO you, as also do /. and you
might let my friend see your signature
again. If you are very busy. you might
send blank check, and will fill 1t in.
Yours affectionately, KARL.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
What 'Port Your Helm" Means.

In this country the helm is put to the
port side Of the ship (or left hand side
looking forward at the order, Port
your helm" The rudder Of course goes
10 starboard. and the ships head moves
10 starboard. This is the rule Of most
nations, but in Sweden the reverse is
khe rule.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13

There was n witty fellow out in a
Michigan hospital who had to be fed
On a daily diet Of egg and sherry. His
physician asked him how he liked It.
"It would be all right, DOCTOR" he said,
"if the egg was as new as the sherry
and the sherry as old as the egg
Washington Post.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
RndIY Mixed Metaphor,

London is laughing at the following
recent brilliant exordlum on the part
Of an English politician: eve shall
never rest until we see the British lion
walking hand in hand with the flood
gates of democracy."-St. James Ca
1ette.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
Scott.

Scott believed that "Waverley" was
his best novel and "The Lady Of the
Lake" his best poem. He and the Bal
lantynes had more than one lively dis
cussion on the subject. but he would
never admit a change of opinion. He
knew "The Lady Of the Lake" by heart
and once repeated the whole TO prove
the fact-Literary Life.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
A Rourh Ride.

Physician (at hospitaD-I thought
you merely had the measles?
Patient-Well, isn't that enough?
Physician-Yes, but you are covered
with bruises from head to foot. How
do you account for that?
Patient-Oh, they brought me here
In an ambulance.-Chicago News.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1902-08-13
His Final Instructions.

An old darby who was fearful Of be-
Ing buried alive left these final instruc-
tons:
AFTER my time come femme stay ez
long ez possible. Don't make de fu-
neral sermont too long, kaze datll
make me sleep only de sounder; but
blow dc dinner hon over me. Eff dat
don't wake me. l is sho' gone|-At-
lanta Constitution.