The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-21


whats this here war game I've
been readin' about?" asked Mr.. Hen
messy.
Its a kind Nv blind mans buff"
said Mr.. Dooley. ITS thrile iv cum
min an DARN between tn army an
tn navy. Be names iv it we larn
whether tn inimy cud sneak into Bos-
ton afther dark without annywan see
in thin an anchor in Boston COM
mon. Ye an I know diff'rent, Hin
Missy. We know how NANNY people
are in tn sthreets afther dark But tn
navy don't know an tn army don't
know. Their idee is that a German
fleet might gum-shoe up tn harbor in
tn dark iv tn moon an whin people
turned out FIR their mornin dhram,
there wud be tn Impror Willum atm
his breakfast iv Hungarian Goolash
an noodle soup on tn steps iv tn State
House iv Massachusetts. But it's a
gran game. I'd like to play it mesilf.
It's as noisy as forty-fives between
Connock men an as harmless as a
steeryopticon fletcher. If war an tn
war game was tn same thing, I'd be
an admiral, at Taste, be this time with
me face gashed an seemed be rasp-
berry jam an me clothes stained with
English breakfast tea.
9TH navy chose to be tn inimy an
twas tn jooty iv tn navy to divastate
tn New England coast. On tn other
hand, tn business iv tn army was to
catch tn navy at its neefaryous 'wur-
ruk an tag it befure it cud get it's
fingers crost. To play tn game well,
tn navy must act as much like an in
imy as it can an tn army must pre-
tind to be JUS as cross at tn navy as
it is whin they are both on tn same
side. Frindship ceases whin they set
in.
Its a hard game to follow if ye're
lookin' on an putin up tn money as
l am. I've been readin' about 1t in tn
pa-aperS an / can't make out now
whether tn inimy is lootin' tn brew
cries iv Connecticut or whether tn de-
finders Nv our hearths has blown thin
up in tn harbor iv New London. 1
have tn honor to rapport says Ad-
nliral Higginson, that l have this day
destroyed all tn forts on tn New
England coast, put tn defenders to rout
with gr-reat slaughter an kilt with me
own hands Gin'ral Macarthur tn Com
mander iv tn lam foorces-a brave
man but no match FIR ye'ers thruly.
His las wurruds to me was "Higgin-
son, we done WE'LL" l rayturned him
his soord with tn wurrds: Gin raj, be-
tween two brave men, there can be no
hard feelin's" TIL battle in which me
gallant foe met his fate was tn con-
clusion iv wan iv tn mos successful
socyal an naval campaigns in tn his
thry iv our country. l have tn honor
to inform We that promptly on tn dec
laration iv war, l give an Afternoon
tea to tn Duchess iv Marlborough. TIL
forts at Newport attimpted to reply
but was unable to scoor more thin
three or four western millyonaires an
soon succumbed to tn inivitable I
thin moved up tn Sound an fell upon
Gin'ral Macarthur when he wasn't
lookin'. Befure he cud load his guns,
we poored a perfect blankety- blank
hell iv blank cartridges on him. He
made spirited reply but it was use
less. We out-fought him be nearly
fifty thousan' dollars worth iv pow
dher. In tn mist iv tn flame an
smoke, 1 discerned tn caitiff foe
standin' on top iv fort directin' his
wav'rin' forces. "Hi-spy, Gin'ral Nc
Arthur" says 1 in claryon tones an
tn battle was over to all intints an
purposes. l have to ESPECIALLY commind
Cap'n McWhallop who f1ndin' his boat
caught between tn fires iv tn inimy
called out: Lay me down, boys, an
save tn ship. I'm full iv marmylade."
TIL ladies aboord was perfectly de-
lighted with tn valor an hospitality iv
our men. Tonight we completed our
wurruk be given a dinner an hop on
boord tn flagship. Among those pres
int was an so on.
That's waht tn gallant Higginson
says. But listen to what tn akelly gall
liant Macarthur says: I have tn honor
to rapport that mesilf an me gallant
men, but largely If l do say it that
shudden't, mesilf. crushed an annihi-
lated tn inimy's fleet at high noon to-
day. Las night at tn first round iv
Jacks, or midnight, as civilyans wud
say, we rayceibed rapport
firm our vigilant sourts that
tn inimy were not at Bar
Harbor, Pookypsie. Keokuk, johann
ensboorgsor Council Bluffs. But where
were they? That was tn question.