Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-12-20

der!' absently replied the druggist,
who had been up all night with his
own.
First Decoator-I advised him TO
have his house decorated during his
wife's absence as a surprise. Second
Decorator-Good! Then Wen have to
do 1t all over again when she gets
back.
Yes, higgins is going to send his
daughter across the water for her
voice" Thinks it will be cultivated in
Europe| mo; he's got an idea that
maybe she'll lose ii on the way."-Bal-
timore News.
Il see by the newspapers" remark.
ed Reeder, that the miners in the
Rand are sending out appeals for
wives" rs that SOP" calculated Hen.
nypeck, in an eager whisper. They
can have mine"
He-Oh, pray, Miss Dalrimple, don't
call me Mr.. Brookes. She-Oh but
our acquaintance has been so brief.
tSweetlyl Why shouldn't call You Mr..
Brookes? He-Oh, only because nv
names Somerset!
First Chappie-I wonder now, ChoI.
lie, how the donkey ever came TO be
used as the--eer emblem of stupiditvg
Second Chappie with yawn)--Don't
know, I'm sure, deal boy; must have
been before our day.
Young Man dining at his club
Don't you think, james, that these
lonely dinners at the club drive nunl-
Der Of men to matrimony? Waiter
Maybe, sir; but not so many as mat
rimony drives to the club
Just fancy Weginald; I've forgot
ten ma cahrd case" "Nevah mind.
deah boy; I'll lend ven some of mine"
"But-ah-the name would be differ
ent, you know" bah love. SO it
would! What head you have, Algyr'
John" whispered Mrs. Stubb, in the
wee hours, there is burglar down
stairs, and | want you to go down."
We'll, ] guess not" responded her hus.
band, turning over for another nap;
I'D have you know that | don't Assoc
ciate with burglars"
Mrs. Housekeep--I don't know much
about the new girl, but she's good
natured and harmless. at any rate.
Mr. Housekeep-How did you find that
outr Mrs Housekeep--I notice that
she sings at her work. Mr. Housekeep
that
Cholly-I nevah see such uueer
girl. While l was calling there the
othah evening she made me pet her
pug dog and asked me If | didn't want
to kiss the beast. Miss pepprey-The
idea! Perhaps she doesn't know that
you smoke es.-Philadelphia
Press.
Mrs. Bizzy--I am so sorry to hear
that your wife has been throwing the
crockcry at you again, Casey. Where
did she hit you? Cascy--Faith Ma-aml
That's what Oi do be afther complain
in av. Twas whole set nv dishes
broke to pieces an She uiyer hit me
wanst, Brooklyn Life.
Now" said the Sunday school
teacher, in her most winning tones,
which little boy can tell us about the
still small voice that is within us?"
'Please'm," said the frecklcd boy ut
the end of the seat, my uncle has
one" Has he| "Yes'm He's II
ventriloquist. Baltimore American.
Cholly proudly)--By Jove! I'm quite
n professor of swimming. don't YOU
know. | taught Mabel Galley how to
swim in two lessons. Jack-~-Gad! That
was quick throw-down. Cholly tim
dignantly)-W do you mean? Jack
Why, she let me- give her ten lessons
before she learned.--RrOoklyn Life
Towne-My wife used to get nervous
every time she heard noise down
stairs, but ! assured her that 1t could
not he burglars, because they're al
ways careful not TO make any noise.
Browne-So thai Gained her, eh?
much Now she gets ner-
vous every time She doesn't hear any
noise
Say pa" began little Willie again.
why "Now, see here his On
II told you wouldn't ar
swcr any more questions. Let this be
the last now. What is IT." II Just
wanted to know, pa, why you don't
answer my questions. Is 1t cause
you're ignorant or Jest cause yer in
dlRestion's come onT'-phIadclphia
Prcss.
What were you doing at the time
of your arrestT' asked the magistrate
Of the prisoner Il was waiting
Waiting for whom" Just waiting"
What were you waiting for" ITO
yet my money" "Who FROM" The
nan | was waiting for" What did he
give It to you forT' For waiting" az
don't know what you mean Explain
II thought you knew | was
4 waiter in restaurant" oh! gasp
ed the istrate.-Montreal Herald.
Phonet:c Spelling.