davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
A CONDUCTORS PLANT.
He Turned n Woman Passenger
Around to Face the Car When
AIiGhtinR and Made Trouble.

"If the powers that be-" said con-
ductor on a Madison avenue car, ac-
cording to the New York Commercial
Advertiser, "would make it INSIDE
meanor for a woman to get off NOV
ing car backward, fewer people would
be injured, the company would save
money and we conductors wouldn't get
gray so quickly. We all try our best to
teach women how to get off car, but
many of them seem to be unable to
learn such simple thing as that.
when they fall and are hurt they
blame US for it of course. But what
saddens me is the way they resent your
efforts to teach them how to insure
their safety. turned one woman half
way around one day in an effort to get
her to step off in the direction in
which the car was going. She slapped
my face, 'sassed' me good and reported
me to the company as an impertinent
scoundrel who ought to be in jail. If
hadn't caught her when l did she
would have had bad fall. Encourage
ing, isn't it? What did the company
do? Oh they understand such things
all right"
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
AN UNEXPECTED HONOR.
A Boys Courteous Unknown Guide
Proved to BE the President of
the United States.

"Many years ago there happened to
me in Washington one of the pleasant
est episodes of my life," said former
Gov. Thomas G. Jones, of Alabama, to
a Washington Post interviewer re-
Gently.
81 was a mere stripping of boy and
was proud of the fact that my father
had allowed me to make a journey
to the national capital on my own
hook. The National hotel was then
the chief hostelry and thither l re-
paired, anxious to get glimpse of the
notables knew to be living there. In
wandering about the house it seems
that l got into a private parlor quite
by accident. The solitary occupant
was nice looking old gentleman with
a very benevolent face and very soon
we were chatting together in the free
est way.
81 told him that came from the
south and that my chief ambition was
to shake hands with the president. At
this he seemed greatly amused, but
presently grew serious and told me
that if I'd wait only few minutes
he would promise me the meeting that
I longed for-that 1 should see and
talk with the president.
presently he left me, but in short
while servant brought word that
was wanted outside and conducted me
to the street, where the kind old man
sat in a fine carriage drawn by pair
of splendid horses. Get in said he,
and l lost no time obeying. All the
way to the white house / was in a
kind of trance, and it was not until
we reached the executive mansion that
I woke up
at must have been the extreme de-
ference that I saw lot of people and
attendants pay my venerable friend
that caused me to realize, as by a
flash of intuition, that / had been
taken under the wing Of James Buchan-
an. 1t was the president himself that
brought me to The white house. For
q minute with boyish difidence I
hung back, but he made me go in
side, and for an hour or more l was
as royalty entertained as though
had been a young prince"
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
RECORD OF TIE PAST.


The best guarantee Of the future Il
the record Of the past. and over fifty
thousand people have publicly testified
that Doan's Kidney Pills have cured
them Of numerous kidney ills, from
common backache to dangerous dia-
betes, and all the attendant annoy
ances and sutferings from urinary dis
orders. They have been cured to stay
cured. Here is one case:
/. Samuel J. Taylor, retired carpenter,
residing ats12 South Third St., Goshen,
Ind, says: 'On the 25th day of Au-
gust, 1897, I made au affidavit before
Jacob C. Mann, notary public, stating
my experience with lDoan's Kidney
Pills. had suffered for thirty years
and was Compelled at times to walk
by the aid 81 crutches, frequently
passed gravel and suffered excruciat-
ingly, I took every medicine on the
market that heard about, and some
gave me temporary relief. I began
taking Doan's Kidney Pills, and the
results / gave to the public in the state
ment above referred to. At this time,
on the 10Th day of July, 1902, I make
this further statement, that during
the five years which have elapsed I
have had no occasion to use either
Doan's Kidney Pills or any other med
icine for my kidneys. The cure effect
ed was a permanent one"
A FREE TRIAL of this great Kidney
medicine which cured MIR. Taylor will
be mailed on application to any part
of the ,nited States. Address Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For sale
by all druggists, price 5ocents per box.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
Ancient sIsxscrapers.

Numerous conflicting estimates have
been made of the height of the tower
of Babel, but one fact never has been
denied, and that is that it was a sky
scraper. St. jerome, in his common
tary on Isaiah. says that the tower
was already 1000 PAGES high when God
came down to stop the work. A pace
is about 21s feet; therefore 1000 PAGES
must be 10000 feet; consequently Ba-
bel was 20 times as high as the Pyra-
mids (which are only about 500 feet).
Father Calmet says the tower was 81
900 feet high, and that the languages
were COMPOUNDED because the archi-
tects were COMPOUNDED, as they old
not know how to bring the building
to head. Moreover, it is understood
that the Chinese language of to-day
was originally the same language as
the high German.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
HowErL's HUMoR.
vuAny stsry Related BY Him n Re-
provaI of an Ovsrardsnt
AdmireR.

William Dean Howells has no consider
able reputation as a teller Of humorous
stories, but once in a while an excellent
yarn IS attributed to him. It was provoked
By the action of young author who had
been q protegs Of Howell's and who when
be "arrived" never lost an opportunity to
say something nice Of Howells. On one
occasion the younger author made an ad-
dress before a body Of literary men in
which he virtually asserted. that, every
thing good and great in native literature
owed It's inspiration to Howells. The ad-
dress was printed far and wide and com-
mented on at length, not always in man
ner complimentary to las author. Mr..
Howells' attention was naturally called to
the matter and he wrote his protegs let
ter in which he involved a story of two
men who, bathing at the seashore, were
seen struggling and heard crying for help.
A crowd gathered to watch the efforts of the
life guards, who could hear above the roar
Of the ocean and the noise made by the
crowd a voice believing: Save the red
haired man Save him frstl The red
haired man, sure!~ Both men were saved
and the guards, going after the excitable
fellow on the beach in the hope af graf
uity, asked: "Red-head chap relation o.
yours, SIR" Mono relative at all" be
replied, "but he owes me So"
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
DECEIVED BY ITS LOOKS.
a Negro Soldier for General
lhnfter.

Some army officers who were in Cuba
with Gen. Skaters army Of invasion told
the other day Gn anecdote at the expense
of the commander of that expedition. The
troops with all their paraphernalia Of war
had landed and were awaiting the order to
advance on Santiago. Staff officers were
busy carrying out the details for the ad.
vance and everywhere there was hurry and
hustle. Shafter was lying in a hammock
in front of his headquarters at Siboney,
while 100 yards down the road the men Of
the signal corps were initiating the war bal
loon preparatory to making the first as.
cension. Without warning the ropes which
held it captive parted and the balloon, half.
inflated and looking for all the world like
the body and legs of a gigantic fat man,
started down the road toward Santiago.
There was just enough gas in it to keep it
upright without entirely clearing the ground
and it went bobbing along, up and down,
as though 1t were walking A negro soldier
passing along at that moment saw the bal
loon and shouted at the top of his voice:
eli, dar! Guess dat muS' be de ole man
poin' fur de 'front.'"
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
MRS. E. sAILER,
NIIlDs u 11.II71T
President German Relief Association
Los Angeles, Cal.

Los Angeles, Cal.
a dav at time how l would feel the
next day. Five bottles Of Lydia ~.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
changed all that, my days became Gays
of health, and have enjoyed every day
since-now six years.
"We have used considerable of your
Vegetable Compound in our charitable
work, as we find that to restore poor
mother to health so she can support her
self and those dependent upon her, II
such there be, is truer charity than TO
give other aid You have my hearty
endorsement, for you have proven
yourself true friend to suffering wo-
men. "-MRs. E. SAMER, 1861 Hill St.,
Los Angeles, Cal.-S5OOO forfeit # aboUe tes-
timonai 10 not genuine
No other person can give sucR
helpful advice to women who
are sick as can Mrs. Pinkham,
for no other has had such great
experience-her address is Lynn
Mass, and her advice free-lf
you are sick write her-yOu are
foolish If you don't.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
cnuse ana nnect.

The Mont Pelee disaster was taken as
text by one of the speakers at a recent
He explained that the eruption was a re-
Duke to the greed of mankind along the fol-
lowing lines:
ode earf, my fr'en's, resolves on axels,
as-we all know. Some'in' suah am needed
to keep EN- axels creased; so, de good
Lawd, in His wisdom an fo'sight, put lots
ub petroleum in de bowels ub de earf for
dat purpose. De Stan'ard Oil comply
comes along an 'strax dat PETROLEUM by
borin holes in de earf. De earf sticks on its
axels and won't go round no more; dere is
hot box, just as tho de earf wus big rail-
road train-an' then my fr'en's, dere am
trubble. "-PhiIadelphia Times.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
Not to BE BIuRed.

81 will have to have three more days out
a week, and receive my company in the par
lor," said the cook lady firmly.
Bridget" replied the mistress of the
house, Il warn you not to push me too for.
You seem to forget that 1 belong to the
Housewives union No 17w-Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
manning RunInenn.

"That lobbyist seems to have good deal
of the long green to blow, remarked the
first councilman.
Yes" said the other, hes working for
an ordinance to allow automobiles unlimited
speed"
All! in the interest of the Auto club, Ell"
"Ohl no. The undertakers' trust
Cleveland Leader.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
THE ONLY TROUBLE.
His Arm Wasn't Long Enough to
Make Up for Deficiency
of His Eyes.

When Mr.. Snow began to realize that he
was not quite as young as he had been, the
truth had disquieting effect on him, and
made him at times very irritable. He knew
his weakness and regretted it, says Youths
Companion, III outlive my faculties" he
said one day to his wife, Pm afraid I'll be
the techiest man in this township"
His brother, who was bald at 3d. put on
strong spectaeles at 80, and lost his hearing
at so through the agency of fever, had no
sensitivness on any Of these points, and was
a great trial to Mr.. Snow.
One day his brother happened to see Mr.
Snow in a cool corner OF the barn, holding
the weekly paper as far away as ne could get
it, and working his head from side to side
with squinted eyes to decipher the news.
Soho! Your sights begun to fail We at
last" said the visitor, bluntly. well,
faint surprising at your age"
Mr.. Snow turned on him an indignant
glare.
My eyesight's all right" he roared.
"The only trouble is my pesky arm isn't
long enoughW
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Courtesy Due-"Why in the world is
Brakeman laughing so uproarously at that
old story Cashum told him just now? I've
heard Brakeman tell it himself dozen
times, years and years ago." Probably
you have, but Brakeman just borrowed a
five from Cashm, "-Cincinnat Commercial
Tribune,
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Edward Cooley" the Sunday school SUI
perintendent announced, has passed the
best examination in Bible study. As a re-
ward l will give him for prize any book
he may name. Now, Edward, what shall ii
be-" 'Why," said Edward, promptly, I'D
Avengers, or Flash O. Lightning Feud.' -
Catholic Standard
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

cts TERRIBLE to be sleepy so much o de
time" said Meandering Mike. why don't
you go to Sleep" rejoined Flooding Pete.
''You might as we'll" Oats where you're
wrong ots If der REFS, is anything breads o IT, gGIn
Washington Star.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Madge-What method of courtsnip
does he use?
Prue-Oh, he affects to have found
the only girl in the world who under
stands hin.-Detroit Free Press.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Not Complimentary He claims to have
a speaking acquaintance with you" well,
! did speak to him once, but don't think
he'll ever tell you what / said Chicago
Post
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Mr.. McCall-Good evening, Bobby, is
your sister at home? Bobby-I don't know.
| heard her tellin' ma she expected a pro-
posal tonight, an if you amt the Teller l
guess she amt home.-Philadelphia Press.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

1t Worked Well.-'Did you ever try to
kill off the mosquitoes with OILY" you
bet we did, replied the old farmer. 1--WE
just flooded the marsh with it last year"
"How did it work" ooh, it settled the
the house, too Somebody dropped a light
ed match in it. This year we're takin' our
chances with the mosquitoes, not wishin'
to have our fire insurance policy Cancelled.
But there amt no sort O. doubt that it
does the business, if you're thorough. =
Chicago Post.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20
CHANGE OF LIFE.
Same Sensible Advice 70 We
men by Mrs. E. Eailer.

I DEAR MHs. PrNKHAM: When 3
nassed through what is known g
Change Of life,' / had two years SUI
fering, sudden heat, and as quick
chills would pass over me my appetaiss
was variable and I never could tell 1oS
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

For forty years DR.. Fowler's Extract of
Wild Strawberry has been curing summer
complaint, dysentery, diarrhoea, bloody
fiux, pain in the stomach, and it has never
yet failed to do everything claimed for it.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

One on the Old Man Honesty, my SON, /"
said the old millionaire congressman, lis
the best policy" "Wel, perhaps it is, dad J"
rejoined the youthful philosopher, "but it
strikes me you have done pretty well, new
ertheless Chicago Daily News.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Nodd-'I think that doctor of ours will
give us something to stop the baby crying
now" Todd-"Why" Nodd-"I'm GO
ing to move next door TO him London
Tit-Bits.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Nothing jars an invalid more than to
wake up in the morning feeling spleLdidly
and then suddenly remember that he is sick.
Chicago Daily News.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Don't let the little ones suffer froro
eczema or other torturing skin diseases. No
need for it. Doan's Ointment cures. Can't
harm the most delicate skin. AT any drug
store, 80 cents
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

The lazier man is the more he intends
to do to-morrow.-Chieago Daily News
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

A joke that requires an explanation I
no joke.-Chicago Daily News,
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

stops the Cough
and works off the cold. Laxative Bromo
Quinine Tablets. Price 25 cents.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Impossible to foresee an accident. Not
impossible to be prepared for it, DR.
Thomas Electric Oil. Monarch over pain
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

"Is the manager up-to-date% "Up-tO.
date! Why, he's just introduced game Of
ping-pong in the balcony scene in Romeo
and JulietH London Tit-Bits.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

The fellow who sits down on bent pin
doesn't see the point of the joke.-Ailwaukee
Sentinel.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

One had better be frst-class OK driver
than third rate professional MANN. Y.
Herald
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

A wise man neither suffers himself to be
governed, nor attempts to govern others
La Bruyere.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Wise is the prophet who doesn't bet on
his predictions Chicago Daily News
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalh,
BE remedy for coughs and colds.-N. w
Samuel, Ocean Grove, N, j., Feb. II, 1900.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

An empty pocket is not always caused
by an open hand.-N Y. Herald
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Two million Americans suffer the tortur-
ing pangs of dyspepsia. No need to. BGrdock
Blood Bittcrs cures. At any drug store.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

That man is worthless who knows how
to receive a favor but not how to return
one-Plautus
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

The mule ,lways has kick coming.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

4 tornado, by the way. says the Chi
cago Tribune, is cyclone boiled down.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Refinement is superior to beauty.-Las-
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-09-20

Obedience sums up our entire duty
Ballou.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1902-06-18
Resolutions of Respect

Whereas, the allwise Creator and
Master Workman S.a high has taken
from us, our brother, john Nalenta,
be it therefore resolved
1st That our community has lost
u good and kind hearted nun, the
wife ufai+ hful husband, and the child
rem devoted father.
2nd That we extend to the bereay
ed wife and heart broken children,
sympathy, more than our words can
express and commend them to the
tender care of the Master Workman,
OF the Universe, who has ever COM
passi0h on the children Of his crea
tion and administers to them in time
OF trouble.
3rd That u memorial page be SET
apaat on our minute book, on which
shall be inscribed the foregoing reso-
lutions of respect
Ash That copy Of these resof
lions be given the family ofdecensea
and also copy be furnished the
skinner Gazette" for adjudication
NJ. Il. Wolters.
Cflnt. Schmidt. Committee.
@. l. Jaeggi.
Sinner, Texas, June 10, 1852.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1902-06-18
The County Convention.
Candidates Endorsed And Officers
Elected.

"A a II y Nm. y 49, IT 49, r-iHe-Asl
The Lavaca County Democratic
convention mot at 3:15 o'clock in
pursuance to call, chairman j. q.
Lamkin presiding, N. w. Mitchell
secretary, in the county court room
Monday afternoon
Very little interest was manifested
in the convention until a day or
two previous. There were no Con-
tests in state Offices, hence nothing
for fight to center around. The.
atmosphere was clear until Satur.
day, the day of the precinct conven-
tions,, when a fight for chairman Of
the executive committee for the en-
suing two years was launched, three
candidates being put forth by their
! friends. j. w. Hawkins was in
structed for by Halletsville, Thomas
Smoot by Ydakum and j.. G. Hab-
ermacher by Sinner.
The vention WAS reasonably
we'll attended. Out of III votes
there were 103 present. All of the
larger boxes were represented, the
minor boxes alone being absent
Chairman J. G. Lamkin made a
short address at the opening of tie
convention and announced that
nominations s,r temporary chair
man and secretary were in order.
thomas Snoot of Yoakum was
nominated by VIM. Blakeslee and
was unanimously elected. Mr..
Bakeslee was appointed y0 escort
Mr.. Smoot to the chair. The Off
Ger. elect thanked the convention
for the honor. Il. j. Allen of Hack
berry was then placed in nomina-
ton by Marcus Schwartzand mani-
Imously elected. The chair appoint
ed Mr.. Schwartsto escort Mr.. Allen
to the chair, who also thanked the
convention for the honor conferred
upon him,
On motion committees were APP
pointed ON permanent organization
and. on credentials and basis Of rep
resentation consisting OF one dele
gate from each precinct represented
A committee was. also appointed
on resolutions. The committee or
permanent organization reported
recommending that the temporary
Organization be made permanent
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1902-06-18
How to 4 void Trouble.

Now is the time to provide your
self and family with bottle of
Ghamberlaili's Collie, Cholera and
DiarFhoea Remedy. 1t is almost
csrtain to beneeded before thesum-
mer is over. snd itsprocwred now
may save you trip to town at
night in your busiest season. 1t is
everywhere admitted. TO be the most
successful medicine in use for bowel
complaints, both for children and
adults. No family can afford to be
without it. For sale by Sehultae 3
,Seydler, druggists.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1902-06-18
Death ofMr. Mathews.

The Houston Post of last Thurs
day contained the following account
Of the accidental death of Mr.. E.
w. Matthews {:
Mr.. J.. b. Blair said he was at
work to the rear of the tin shop
and happened TO glance up at the
hotel building. His gaze became
riveted upon a white robed figure
that was slowly advancing toward
the window of room on the third
floor. THE man appeared to be
asleep" said Mr.. Blair. ''l1e walked
directly to the window and HE knee
Just reached to- the ledge. When
he struck the ledge he seemed to.
awaken and recover his senses, but
on the instant the upper part of
his body sh0t cut into space and
down he came toward the pavement,
head first. When he went out of
the window he uttered an awful
cry that was not Ineligible He
struck on his head and when ]
reached him second later he was
dead, blood and brains being sPat-
tered on the sidewalk"
Mr.. Blair said he was satisfied
that Mr.. Mathews was walking in
his sleep, Had the window ledge
been IL foot higher he would not
have fallen out. The deceased WAS
we'd known in many rexss cities
and towns. He leaves a wife and
seven children at Yoakum and to
that place the remains were shipped
4 last night at II O'clock. Mr.. Mat
thews was a Eoyal' Arch Mason. TFe
had been with the McFadden com.
pany for several wears and OF late
his headqunrtcr had been at Hearnc.
THE. remains were accompanied to
Yoakum by Mr.. J. s. Terrell, q
cousin, and Mr.. Fl. G.. Eindstone, Jf.