The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1902-01-10
} THE JOKE OF ROBERT WILKINS.
By D. H. Talmadge.
DOBERT WILKINS was born with a
s.soscsoeosoecaes,s,ssosoe oeosoe

DOBERT WILKINS was born with
II penchant, if you know what that
is, for practical jokes. His career
from the moment when his delighted
parents had learned of his sex (they
had expected a girD, was series of
jokes. He is not, therefore, to be judged
harshly. He is not to blame. Some re-
mote and accursed ancestor, who, per-
haps, pursued practical jokery as
fad, must be accountable.
Let it be distinctly understood that
1 pen these words in a charitable spir-
it. No one, unless it be his mother,
can love Robert Wilkins more fervent-
ly that I love him. From the sandy
curls which crown his round little
head to the callouses upon his feet
he inspires the best affection of my
him. L tremble for him. At intervals
I pray for him. I forgive him every
thing. But l cannot forget.
I have been looking over a journal
upon which I tested my strength of
character during the greater portion
OF the ~ months which closed the
nineteenth century, and I am much inn
pressed by the frequency with which
references occur therein to Robert
Wilkins. 1t appears that Robert Will
kins was very active during that pc
riod, more so, in truth, than he is at
present. He is older now, and he is
slowly learning certain things that
70
A peculiar feature of these refer
ences to Robert Wilkins in my journal
is their apparent foreigness- I may
be permitted to use the word-to Rob
ert Wilkins. They would not suggest
Robert Wilkins to q stranger. For
instance, in September I found this
somewhat important record:
''Took four bellfiower apples to the
county fair. They were the entire
yield of the tree which 1 obtained
from the travelling agent of the snaky
eyes. I had not much confidence in
him, but bought one tree. He swore
upon his honor that it would bear APP
plies as big as Hubbard squashes-
small Hubbard squashes, of course-in
two years. He was guilty of false
hood. The tree bore nothing but
leaves the second year and the third.
/ was absent from home this spring
while the buds were blowing. When
I returned 1 merely gave the tree a
cursory glance, and muttered SEN
timent appropriate to the memory of
an absent liar. thought no more of
it. I went not near it. [ do not per-
nit wrongs to rankle in my breast
But on the day when we had been
getting together our exhibits for the
fair, my wife addressed me on the
subject of apples. She stated, with a
fine semblance of concern for my well
fare, that neighbor johnson had been
boasting of his ability to surpass any
other raiser of apples in the county,
the fruit to be the proof; that not
only had he taken first premium on
believers last year and the year be-
fore, but he was going to take it
again this year. And concluded she,
looking quite fierce, he said that folks
who had the same kind of ground he
had, and the same conditions John
sons orchard and mine are separated
by only thin board fence}, and
couldn't raise as good apples as he
raises, were pretty poor sticks of
, fruit-growers.' L will not deny that
I was vexed. It is not in human ma
ture to enjoy that sort of thing. And
I agreed readily when the dear wo-
man suggested that we go down to
the orchard and see what we could
find. We returned in the cleaning an
hour later, filled with elation. In the
long grass beneath the maligned bell
flower tree we found four of the most
beautiful apples it had ever been our
pleasure to look upon. They were
magnificent. We proudly took them
to the fair. The judges awarded them
the first premium. Our sleep will be
very sweet tonight"
The events of the two days succeed
ing this pleasing record do not ap-
pear in the journal. AS 1 remember
it, my mind during those two days
was taken up completely by thoughts
nf other things. The prophecy with
which the record closes was not full
filled. I am not good prophet. I
never was. I cannot even forecast
with any degree of accuracy the sort