Arizona republican., 1902-11-03
 MIR. DOOLEY. 5 Irish Question.
 
DOOLEY

stand German. a Turk. a Chinyman, a naysur. or an Indyan, but he don't know amy more what an Irishman is talllin' an thinkin' about thin what tn angels in Hiven ar-re sayin'. Whats tn use iv con-varsin' with him? Give him a belt in tn jaw. That's a lan- sUdge so gin'rally undhersthud that ye niver need a pocket ditchnry to make it out An Irishman is always dhream- in dhreams. If ye cud get into tn mind iv hungry Irishman an hun gry Englishman, ye'd find tn Irishman was thinkin about banket iv tn Gods with him in seat number wan singin q song, an tn Englishman was reflect in on tn smell iv tn thripe down tn sthreet.
 An Englisnman don't know theyse amy such things as wrongs in tn wur- ruld. He sets down in front iv his din her an says he to himself: What jolly wurruld this isi What an auf'lly beasty jolly wurruld. Everybody is happy. Anybody that kicks does it f'r exercise. l can't see a spot where tn wUrruld needs improvement It's such a complete job I must have done it me silf. Very civil iv me. What tn doose is that man over there spoutin' pothry about? He's a lOonytick. Put him out Why. he's pintin' a gun at me. We'll. p'raps I'd better listen to him..
 Mind ye, Hinnissy, ! ain't in favor iv dinnymite. Far firm it. Aven an Englishman war niver improved be be- in blown up. Or I'll put it this way: I'm in favor iv dinnymite but not ip favor iv it's goin' off. They always ought to be a little iv it undher an Englishman's chair. Thin we cud go up to an say: Things is gcin' badly in Ireland an somethin' mus be done. Page to sign this paper an redress cur wrongs Wrongs? Q says he, What ar-re wrongs?' he says. It Nud take too long to explain says me. We will only say they'se bunch iv joynt pow dher undher we're chair that may go off amy minyit. Sign here
 'I ain't a Feenyan. dye mind. though was, an I ain't Q. CIan-na-G Gael though ye can't prove if be me. but I niver in me life see annything done without they was a gun play some where concealed in it. Hiven f'rbid that I shud want annythiug to happen to those dear cousins iv OUTS acrost tn sea. I wudden't bring a tear to tn blue eye iv lawn Hay. I don't believe in too much foorce but we've always got to flavor tn porridEe with it. I'd have a little corstichoochinal agytation an a little foorce, a sthreak iv wan an Q sthreak iv tn other. a polite re- quest an a punch in tn eye. an argy- mint an a kick, a janial la-ad in parly- mint with a mellow voice an a good ginteel accint an boy in corduroys behind a rock in tn County Sligo to pint tn moral. l wud shoot off tn mouth wan day an th' blunderguss tn nex'. Tn have me frind Fay Pay stand up in p2rlymint an say: 'Cintlemen. ye know I'm sthrongly again tn use iv foorce. Tn name ivy dinnynite fills me with abhoTTenCe an tn explosion iv T fire cracker gives me tn jumps As a raie cl English gintleman in a leng coat to rale ol English gintleman in long coats, as between fellow subjioks iv tn king, that dear good man whom all revere, l plead with ye to do justice to tn fair land iv mine which l often see on tn maps as 1 come down to tn House, he says. Go to tn divvle,' says tn Right HOn'raDle Arthur James Bal four. They ain't enough justice to go around amongst us now, an why wud w NfJI ti4l lON W III IL INdy on tt nlCe DCllte people like ye,' he says T f'rgot to ada says Fay Pay, that frind iv mine is settin' in tn gallry with a bae, containin' about thirty pounds iv up- with-ye,' he says. He has jus wrote me note sayin' that his arm is tired an wud I mind if he tossed tn bag down to ye, he says I'm greatly griev- ed with tn action iv me fellow com tbrE-r11aY1 n hut h ic ;- y-, 1 can't conthrol him. he says. 50 here l go f'r tn fire escape, he says, am he says, if yell bring tn pa-apers with ye,' he says, we might discuss tn terms ivy tn settlement as we climb down. he says.
 That's my policy, Hinnissy, an it's been tn policy ivy all other gr-reat statesmen. NiVer start a riv lution without gun. Niver ask a man fir anything unless ye can make him think ye're liable to take it annyhow. My wrongs ar're my wrongs an it's little ye mind thim until they begin to hurt ye. If I'm sick in me room up- stairs, ye don't care but whin I begin hollerin' an jumpin' on rh' fiure an knockin' tn plastherin' down on we're head, yell sind f'1 tn doctor. I'd have '44 LII HlllllDeTS " pdFlyInlnt wear black coats but they ought to be ready to peel thim off at minyit's notice an show up ready fir business in red shirts. F'r. Hinni5sy. Ireland'd niver get annything firm England but a threaty iv peace"
 wondher will England iver free | Ireland" asked MT. Hennessy.
 "Niver." said Mr. Dooley. What ! t2lk have ye? No man wants it thar ! way. England will niver free Ireland |