The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1902-08-28

e''h Jou w l'tllcnt {
An absent husband tolcgraphed I,
his wife: {" send you a kiss" lie
received the reply "Sprucc youno
man called and delivered the kiss in
good order"
BarDcr-Will you have anything ON
your face when have finished, sir :?
Vlctim-l do not know. But hone
you'll save my nose, at least.
we never realize the full value of
thing until VIC lose it," remarked the
moralist.
! " That's right" remarked the prac.
tlcal man, especially if the thing
, lost was insured"
Tommy, what is tho diff
ference between n comma and a pc.
riod &?
TommY-A comma is dot with q
tail to it and period is a bob-tail dot
Colonel,' said the reporter, " what
is your opinion of this water cure ?"
The gentleman from kentucky drew
himself up TO his full height, but
would not say word.
Father (lmprcssivcly)-Suppos |
should be taken away suddenly, what
would become of you, my boy /:
Irrcverent Son--Pd stay here. The
question is a: What would become
of you ?"
"I sec you attond nearly every
gamt. DO you understand the game ?'
" No." replied the pretty girl in tho
white duck suit. "I hate the game
but that pitcher is mighty handsome"
Mr.. Stubbs-TIcrc's an item that
says when women marry they stop
reading so much fiction.
Mrs. Stubbs-We!!, john, I guess
that's because thoy hear 80 much from
their husbands.
Mrs. Gayboy (who is not Il prize
beauty)-A friend of mine says you
only married me for money. Is IL
true?
Gayboy-Certainly not, dear. 1t
may seem improbable, but really and
truly married you for love.
Biggs-So Jaggsby has passed in his
checks, eh? Poor fellow, he had
many vices.
Diggs-Yes, but he had at least one
rcdccming virtue.
Biggs-Wh hat was that?
Diggs-IIe never smoked cirarallea.
" Mamma" said little Georgia,
"does Il deaf and dumb boy talk with
his fingers ?''
i" Yes, DEAR" replied his mother.
Well," continued The small inter
rogator, how do you suppose he says
his prayers If his fingers are sorc9
Ius.ead OF the American expression,
"ct, It off clothng," the English use,
cleft of clothing" In an English
! newspaper an advertisement stated
| that Mr.. and Mrs. Dr0wn have left
off clothing of every description and
invite your careful inspection"
Lend me your car a minute" re-
maj kcd Mrs. Brown to her husband
the other evening. Will you give
it back to 9'' he inquired with
mock anxiety. "Of course | will, you
idiot DO you suppose ! want tc
start tannery2" She got the car.
Mrs. Gaswcll-So Ethel married
abroad and married well, did shc2
! Mrs. Dukanc-What said was that
she was well married
How 2"
"Thc1c were two ceremonies, a
civil and religious"
"NO, Johnny, said the father, as
they sat at dinner, "you can't have a
second piece of pic. One is enough
for you"
"There 'tis again." ejolned the lit
tic fellow. " You arc always sayln'
| must learn 10 eat pic with fork am
then You won't gimme chance"
" Now, little boy, what's tho mean
ing of tic word hypocrisy ?" asked a
Sunday school teacher of her favoritc
pupil.
8" can't explain what it is, but
know it all the same.''
"Give me an example of hypoc-
risy."
&" When fcl ow says he loves his
Sunday school teacher. That's hypoc-
risy."
A well known judge on Virginia
circuit was recently reminded very
forcibly of his approaching badness
by one Of his rural acquaintances.
"Judgc," drawlcd the farmer, " il
won't be 80 very long 'fo you'll have
to tie q string around yer head to tel
how fer up to to wash you" face"
Have cigar. One of my favor
tic Brand" SAID Checply. Thanks ,
jerks, who knew the brand, replied
as he carefully placed the cigar in hi
hat. Do you always keep cigar
there ?" inquired Cheeply. "No
only certain kinds. You know, the,
say few cabbage leaves in your ha
will prevent sunstroke."