davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

The Reverence for Obscurity.
what do You think of the new min
ister's sermon?" inquired Mr.. Cum
roX's wife.
Well" he replied. 81 guess it wasn't
very good"
Upon what do you base your opin-
ion?"
Il understood every word of it and
rot really interested" Washington
Star. f.t.a
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

'.Iohn! Didn't you swear of swear
ing the first of the year,
John (who has just stepped on a
nckl-I did. and I'm swearing Off
i.uin now!
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
IL Never Came Back.

"Take my advice. Don't lend Bur
roughs any money"
81 never did"
why, you used to, I'm sure, be
cause"
mo; used to think l was lending u
20 him, but | soon discovered 1t was
purely a gift"
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

The proper designation seems to have
SETTLED down TO "Marconlgram."
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

Hetty Green's husband had to die to
get his picture In the papers.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
STATE OF OHIO. CITY OF TOLEDO

STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO,
LUCAS COUNTY. !"
FRANK j. CHENEY makes oath that he Is tr,e
senior partner Of the Arm Of r. j. CHENEY 4 Co,
doing business in the City of Toledo County and
State Aforesaid, and that said firm will paw the
sum Of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each
and every case of CATARRH that cannot be
cured by The use Of HALLS CATARRH CURE.
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn TO before me and subscribed in my pres
ence this 9th day Of December. A. ID. 1886
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
The Latter Part.

What part of my sermons do you
enjoy mostY asked Rev, DIR. Long.
wind.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
"a Poor Excnse-u

what is his excuse for not marry.
ing?"
Says he doesn't want to wear darn.
ed socks"
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

A horse can carry pound on his
back to an ounce on his foot
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
Ordinary Effort Wasted.

her husband for divorce?
Maude-Yes. and don't blame her.
She was handicapped right from the
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
More Importaut.

Yes" said the old doctor, you should
try to have your own carriage, by all
means. Because when you want to get
to patient quickly"
cor interrupted the young NJ. D., II
don't think any patient who sent for
me would be likely to die before !
reached him."
mo, but he might recover before you
got there. philadelphia Post.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
No After Results.

Did the typhoid fever leave you
with anything|
mo; the doctor got Ii all"
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
A. w. GLEASON,
Notary pubHc.

)spAr A. w. GLEASON,
Notary pubic.
Hall 3 Catarrh Cure Is taken internally and scts
directly on the blood and mucous surfaces OF .he
system. Send for testimonials free
F. j, CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O.
H-Sold by Druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the besf
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
UpAxainst IL.

What's the trouble, old mani
You look us IL a squat had struck you.
IOues Worse than that, my boy. I've
tasr been struck by two squalls.
Smith Wby, hOw's that?
lones-Got twins at our house.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
The HIEher Edncatinn.

"rhe conclusions you reach" reptile,
Deacon Philadelphia Record
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22
A. IL Should BE.

R-gs \ cousin of mine was married
u he west side yesterday.
plggs- That's queer. af.
BiGgs What's queer about IL;
D!rsgs Why didn't he get married on
All sides while he Was about IL?
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

Clara Why. how was that?
Maude-Her husband had indigestion
before they were married.--Chicag0
News
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-05-22

After | had used the first box l was
almost entirely cured of this dreadful
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Old Rule. For Night Policemen.

Old Boston is vividly brought to
mind by the following excerpt from
the selcctmen's minutes. dated Nov. 1,
1863, containing instructions to watch
men:
In going the rounds care must be
taken that the watchmen are not noisy,
but behave themselves with strict do
corum. that they frequently give the
time OF the night and what the wealth
er is with II distinct but moderate
voice, excepting ut times when it is
necessary 20 pass In silence i'm ort.er to
detect and secure persons that are out
OIL unlawful actions.
You and your division must en-
dcavor TO suppress all routs. riots and
other disorders that may be committed
III the night and secure such persons
az may he gailty. that proper steps
may be taken next morning for n
prosecution as the law directs We alb
solutcly forbid your taking private
satisfaction or any bribe that may be
offered you to let such 90 or to conceal
their oGenSe from the selcctmen."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
kCGravnt!nrrIy Peculiar.

Up in the mill district Of KensinSton
1t is the custom for employees to con-
tribute 30 much per capita each week
to fund for providing soap. towels,
ice water. shoe backing. etc. one Of
the number in each mill being appoint
ed to take charge OF the purclc sing
and distributing OF supplies. A young
Cclt has had this duty In one Of the
mills for some months. One evening
after the whistle had blown for the
stopping Of work for the day n grimy
m0chinist found very damp and up-
lovely towel after he had reached the
wash sink.
Say, Reddy," he called to tho custo-
dian, this is the limit to ask a man to
wipe on"
Don't yez bo go airish" retorted
Recdy. Fifty or sixty just as good as
yc have woip2d on it already, and yez
Is the first to complain. n."-Philadelphia
Times.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
His Friend GcoTrey.

The following story, told by the
Washington Post, leads lis to wonder
which to condemn first. the boaster or
his critics. 1t concerns a certain man
who has 4 large collection of auto
graphs
Indeed, the envy and sometimes the
sl:"pticism of his friends have been ey-
cited by tho number of successful au-
thors who have set down familiar and
na:tcring inscriptions in his books.
Some carDcrs have even gone so far
as 10 h'At dGrlily at similarity Of
handwriting throuchout the collection.
lie recently purchased Il rare edition
OF Chaucer, and one evening when
party was gathered at the house the
precious book vas passed from hand
TO hand. The owner lost sight of 1t,
but the next morning he found it lying
ON his library tanlc.
On the ~ ic&f was inscribed:
TO Jack -, from his old friend and
schoo!nate, Gcof. Chauccr."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
A Historic Trec.

The oak tree under whose branches
Abraham Lincoln and Stephen A..
Douglas held n political debate in 1853
Is still standing IN Bloomington, ILL.,
1t appears to be centuries old. In 1858
the tree marked au inclosHre then
known as Uenshaw's pasture, former
public meeting place. George Hen
shaW, the owner, was q Democrat He
arranged to have the debate there, be-
ing nm admlrcr Of Douglas. The two
candidates for United States sena tor
mad engaged in a series of debates,
ana the one held in Bloomington at
tracted voters from far and near. A
platform for the candidates was con-
structed directly under the boughs of
this old oak. It's Shade protected the
audience as well Gs the speakers.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
FREE BLOOD AND sKYN CURE
tHres BLOOD Poison, ScrofnIa, Ec-
zenia, fhcUmatism. and all
Blood Trouble.

The Botanic Blood Balm D. B.DD
treatment for impure blood and skin
disease is now recognized as a sure and
certain cure for the most advanced
stages of cancer, eating sores, eczema,
ltchings skin humors, scabs or scales,
Syphllltic blood poison, scrofula, ulcers,
persistent eruptions, pimples, boils,
TcheS and pains in bones, Joints or back.
swollen glands, Iisings and BUMPS on
hc skin or blood diseases. Men, wo-
nen and children are being cured in
very State by Botanic Blood. balm for
PURIFYING the blood and exIelling the
germs and humors from the entire sys-
TEN, leaving the skin free from erup-
ticns, and rosy with evidence of pure,
rlch blood. No sufferer need longer
tcspalr-help is at hand-no matter
now many discouragements YOU NAV
nave met with, Botanic Blood Dalm
d. -; - b. cures permanently and quick
y. 10 satisfy the doubters we will
give to any sufferer trial treatment
nDsolnteiy free so that they may test
ths wonderful remedy. B. B. b. (Bo-
tanic Blood Balm) sold by all drug
stores with complete directions for home
treatment for 81 per large bottle. For
Iree trial treatment, address Blood
Balm Co., s Mitchell Street. Atlanta,
Ga, and Trial Treatment will be sent
at once. Write today. Describe
trouble, and free medical advice given.
over 5000 voluntary testimonials of
cures by using Blood Balm. Thorough
~ tested for so years. For sale by f.
{. Duke, Druggist.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
His Exact Age.

Asked his age in Il court of justice, a
Georgia darky replied:
We'll, sub, l ez ole ez de big white
oak tree OH Marse Toms S plantation"
"And how old may that be-" inquired
lawyer.
well, sub, ef makes no mistakes,
dc white oak tree is dc same age cz de
mill dam, en- de mil dam amt q day
cider dan de red barn, what come nigh
ter bcin' burned owen &c stars feled!
Atlanta Constitution.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Wit OS Horne -COISc

1t is said that Horne Tookc, who OK.
cc!lcd in that ducl.ikc controversy ey-
hiDitcd by two GiSputauts when Dittcd
against each other with only the
breadth Of mahogany board between
them. WAS exceedingly quick ard sharp
1t r2to:t. When lie made his most
deadly thrHE:S, it was with Il smiling
cuTutenanCc nnd without seeming Of
frit or emotion. Replying to man
who cOEtcntlcl that only landowners
SnOCld DO allowed 10 vote 1T elections.
lac said. "rray tel re bow many Gcrcs
"Dc* II take u make wiscacre:"
N@'" ,S'.CG By George III. whether lie
oN;r I.AE"d cards, he replied. Il can
NJ. Your ma aic%;y. tel! u king from IL
hn%v". What can Lc mere uniCucly
cc!nc I'm" LIS sHy:a% 10 his brother:
Yea ;.lM |, Gy dear brother. have in.
.vtIi>d Iio !GWH Uf nature You have
"!&"n il tAc w"r.I hr YOUR gravity, ANA
have fLiioa ~ my y:"-Saturday
Evening Posi-.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
- :y"% and the Temper.

..,r' "!" gNr"r!& Cn The eyes who
..".I >;o%tit 70 tie theory that troubles
=" F!S IL C',"N c..:$r serious lapScs
;"rE VII ordered LIE among chill.
itrn ""I ;aIt Gi%oHcdirNcr. i'll temper,
cruelty. w"n!on drStructivcnrss and
Ty%;|."S a:r frequently duo among
yu"".S;grs To- alterations ana to all.
u"';* wt.ic:i AFFECT the sense OF sight.
'...a Ih"r"y may appear to he car
r."' - far - 10 Ice almost fad, set
:"";r ma" b" something III il.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Enyvni'n NiHpi.nG LanEun-,e.


The language Of tho Hawaiian Is.
lands. us every one knows. a!,o,rGs in
vowcls and Therefore riFpiaf delicious
~ il the mouth. 1t is Only necessary
to pronounce such names as Honolulu,
Oahu, Eilauca, Hilo. Mauua Len, Na-
mahamaha and Lniuoka!ani to d.scov-
or this. y young; PrcgbTteriau clergy.
man ot B-Coklyn who visited the is
lands two or thrce years ego AMI rrc-
pared a lecture on them or his return
declared that there was only one place
Oh the islands which possessed q name
lacking in cuphoIy. That place was
Sprcckcisvillc. This cuphony CT the
Hawaiian tongue was productive of
one Of the jokes OF his lecture. The
frat time lie save 1t he remarked incl
dcnta!ly thAr lie took the steamer
"y-ally- TO go 10 the town Of Ma
willy-willy." \ laugh followed the re.
mark. and iEcreatter lie alwaya In.
cludcd tA!s phrase N his lecture 1t
invariably produced the same result
when used.-New York Tribune.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
A Cold Wave.

The forecast of sudden changes in the
Wca;hcr'servcs notice that I, hoarse voice
and q heavy cough may invade the
sanctity Of health in your own home.
Cautious people have II bottle Of Oac
Minute Cough Cure always at hand.
T.. IL. Wise, Madison, Ga, writes: q
am indebted to One Minute Cough Cure
for my present good health, and prob
ably my life" 1t cures Coughs, Gods,
l.2Grippc, Bronchitis, Pneumonia and
ell Throat and Lung troubles One
Minute Corgh Cure cuts the phlogm,
draws out the inflammation, heals and
sOothcs the mucous membranes and
strengthens the lungs. +. G.. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Final Discharge.

Notice is hereby given that i. j.
FOs.er, administration Of the estate of
Phocba Wood, deceased, has applied 10
Jason VI. Greer, Judge of PrDha =, ia
aad TO- the county of Union, for Gnal
di cha "ge as such administrator.
IT l. ORDERED, That the 9TH day oi
Jauuacy, A. ID, 1903, be fixed for hear
ing of Petition and final settlement OF
said es'ate. JASON NJ. GREER.
P.obate Judge Union county. SC
Publ blished in UNION TIMES On 5'h of
uSc.a Av02. 49-5t
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
RICHARD NiLt!n;i ynl CHAM
The First EncIi,h :.:.I. .'u.i;er nnG
the StuE: q, II!S .'Gll.


The First EnrIirh ;:..I. .2y:,cer nnG
the stnr: -, Ii!s Fall.
The story or the Asst bank forcer,
Richard Wllliam Vaughan, is little
known. VaugliHE was the brother Of a
Stafford lawyer and became cicrk to 2
solicitor in Lon;ion. He wished to
marry his masters daughter and prom
fsed to produce the sum of t1OUD.
which, he said, his mother would pre-
sent to him, half of it to be settled on
his Wife. On these terms the father
consented to the maria &c, ard Vaughan
obtained months leave OF absence.
He occupied this period in obtaining
engraved impressions IN imitation cs
twenty pound Bank Of England notes,
which was not such Il difficult matter
then. such things rs forged notes be-
ins unknown. With fifty OF these
shan1 notes ne presented himself ut the
appointed time, ana his t,3nyec accept
od hcr share in perfect good fal;l, and
the marriage preparations were pro-
cecdcd with.
CnfOrtunate!: Lc wanted ready mon
cy and put two Of his own forged
notes into circulation. They were Cl.a!-
lcaScd, When he Iccanc alarmed and
tired to got back the ro:cs lie Lad
given TO the young lady. but she r.
fused to yield them up, sGrncctinr
nothing of their true nutUrc. ana when
Vaughan was arrested next day she
would hardly believe even then that
she had been deceived.
The forgcr was tried at tie Old Tai-
Icy on the 7th OF April, 11IS, spending
what was to have !con his wedding
Gay in the condemned cell. -Four days
Later he was hanged 1t Tyburn.-I. on
don Standard.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
An s-.bnrrassfnw lrs,ypr

y r.nn sent = note to rich ncigIhor
VITA whom he was Gu friendly terms
to know If be could borrow an ass for i
few hours. The worthy old man was
10 scholar and happened to have Il
guest sitting With him 1T tile time, to
whcm he did not wish to expose his
iSna:aHcr. Opening The note anI Pre-
trEG:Hr TO read it, he reflected n mo-
M"nt and turnGd To the servant. VERY
good" said Lc Tel VOW master I'll
conc LITSClf vrvsvntly.'
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
kOdOI Dyspepsia Cure

Digests all classes of fool, tones and
>trengthens the stomach and digestive
organs. Cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion,
Stomach Troubles, and makes rich rca
blood, health and strength. K"dol re-
builds wornout tissues, puriiies, strength
ems and swectens the stomach. Gov.
G. W. Atkinson, OF w. Va, savs: /
have used n number of bottles Of Kodol
and have found it to be Il very effective
and, indeed, powerful remedy for
stomach ailments. l recommend it to
my friends. +. G.. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
SHE WAS go GC0O.

Why Old Uncle Liws LvSt the yyhsIs
Cabin to Ills Wife.
One winter In the mountains of
North Carolina met old IAse Downs.
a frmnsaT chasneter of those hills,
trudging teward town with a bundle
tied Ia q red bahdanpa slung over his
stopped shoulders.
Good morning, Uncle Lxe," SAID.
"&awniH', aissy," hs replied, takiu:;
his hat fRena bis ktnkeA white crown.
"Are you going awayf' 1 asked.
"Yeesum," he answered, "yossum."
"Wheres Aunt EeStae? Ii she going
toe?"
Meme; Sss AMT Swins wiz nae. l
aiA't No &ssa' saMp'Ry fsr dat wemsn
nshow."
why, what's the Eattsr?" asked,
amazed. II always thought Hootie
was the best wife In the world"
"Iessun; OATS what she shorely is.
But pore, mis'blo sihmh laik ne
KANT stan SO much goodness. Dat
woman nevah Gid know &c power Of
Sin, an de parsoa hisself kain't como
up to huh for preachin'. De hrn cabin
shines VIII elor..y. but mel amt nuflin
but black spot."
"Why, Uncle Iigc, yea cannet leave
your wife because she's good" said.
THAT would be strange cause for
divorce"
"Doys lots OF I'M does II, missy.
amt no dejections 10 huh bein' good,
but when anybody S!ts 20 good dat
dey ain't get 10 faciin's for nobody,
what deg wants IS q cabin to dere-
selves"
The "black spot moved down the
sun ncckcd road toward other biIckor
spGts that waited for him III the viii
laGe.-EXchange.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
FREE TO OUR READERS.
BatOnic Bio od Balm for the RIood

If You suffer from ulcers. eczoma.
scr"'u!a, blood poison, cancer. eating
sores, itching skin, pimples. boils. bone
pains, swellings, rheumatism, catarrb.
or any blood or skin disease. I'VE advise
Won to take Botanic Blood Balm (B. y
Is Especially recommended for old
oDs'lnate. deep seated cases. cures where
all else fails, heals every sore, makes
me blood pure and rich, gives The skin
The rich glow Cf health. Druggists. 81
per large bottle. Sample sent free by
writing Blood Balm Co, Atlanta. Ca.
Describe trouble and free medical ad,
vice sen. in sea, letter. Medicine sent
al once, prepaid. +. -. Duke,
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
THE
NEW YORK WORLD
TiRICE-A-WEEK EDITION.
Read Wherever the ED4jiSh lam
SuaSc is Spoken.

A-e'' - "tac.cf lnc I<D"'i'H i'"H-
.. ~. - ,7io"' II.
IArice-it- week World was bill
iEh, SUCCESS III ilc beginning ard has
oePl sea l'!y growing ever sncr. Time
~ me tr"' "i al 'h'HgS, ana has Get rs
sTa' M ~ "i3'nfa. on lilr lhric--a- " eek
-, ~; NH'cL - W'le!y circulate Ill
evITy SLi1e ara TERRITORY of the Union
n;a . "".F.YeT VII ever, There ale p'oPic who Can
fe'?J ',"l I'ioli.F tongue
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
What's in a Name?

Everything is in the name when it
comes to Witch Hazel Salve. +. c. De-
Witt u Co, of Chicago, discovered some
years ago, how 10 make salve from
Witch Hazel that is specific for Piles.
For blind, bleeding, itching and pro-
truding Piles, eczema, cuts, burns,
bruises and all skin diseases DeWitt's
Salvc has no equal. This has given
rise to numerous worthless counterfeits.
ASK for DeWitt's the genuine. F. G..
Duke
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Speeding the PARTING

Mammal WAS surprised and shocked
by the GOODNESS with which you greet
cd Miss BoCrsum when she called.
Ethel-Hes. mamma, but made up
for 1t later.
Mamna-Did you?
Ethel-1es. indeed. You should have
seen how cordially bade her good
y."-Philadelphia Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Tran SniRrntiOn

$50 dey convicted cat fcllcr dat was
swinging Il high society bluff so as to
lift jcwclry." said rJoiding Pete.
Yes" answered MeandcrinS Mike.
Hes got his prison clothes on now.
Ncy've changed him from social lion
into zebra. a."-Nashington Star.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
An HTaof

wealthy American rathsr- -Iaw-I
find, co.nt, you did not tsA mo the
full cxtont Of your debts.
Count Boylon de Northumberland
you did not tell me. sare. 70 full extent
OF mademoiselle's tempare. - ChIca &c
Tribune.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Dissolution of Partnership.

The law firm Of Munro e. Sanders il
hereby dissolved by mutual consent. All
persons indebted to said firm will please
make p iyment to either Of the under.
signed. JAMES Muyno
Hit. G.. T.. SAxnrps
UNION TIMES Nov. IL,
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
All In Vain,

Clara suppose | Shall have to give
Mr. FidGIcback the next dance.
Maud-Nhy don't you sit it out with
him?
well. I've tried that"-Ncw Yorker.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
Di-da and the y.op,a,

City Bei'c-I hope your stay In our
city VIII not be short. Mr.. De Science.
Mr.. De Science (nernbsr of The Or.
i!ihH!HG;s;s' uEiorJ-Thank you, but
my Hpjourn must lie brief. am here
attending the orniiholoEical convention
at the Museum OF Natural History, and
The session will soon be over.
"What kind Of convention DID you
say"
"Ornithoicglcal-about birds, you
know"
"Ch. y"s. yes. How stupid Of me,
DO you think they will be worn much
next spasUnI"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19
II you are i'll and need a pill
Why not purchase the best?
DcWitIs Early Riscrs
A rn lit,I, .,,,,,, ,,..o..

Take one-they do the rest.
W. III. Howell, Houston, Tex, writes
Il have used Little Early Riser Pills
in my family for costipation, sick head
ache, etc TO their use am indebted
for the health of my family. F. c.
Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1902-12-19

+CcHtTaI IIme. sEastern Time '''-'-'''--''-.'.
lR. +. I. BUNCH .s-----
General Passenger Agent
W. E: CHRISTIAN, "h
A. e.. p. A., Atlanta, Ga.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-02-06
HE DRANK TWO OTIS.
John Taylor Hauled Home But lie For.
got TO Die.

John Taylor, an Afro Ameri-
can. better known for his mis-
deeds than his bad ones, has
been kicking up a commotion
again. Some men boast of
how much liquor they can drink
and some boast of never touch
ing, taking. or even winking' at
it. John belongs to the former
class and while feeling good
Wednesday night made an in
nucent bet that he could tank"
Il quart Of whisky IN fifteen
minutes and then Immediately
throw Il quart OF beer on top of
it. He did so but in Il "ery few
moments had to be loaded into
Il wagon and taken home. That
kind Of Il dose would kill au
average man almost instantly,
but John forgot to shuttle off
this mortal coil and was
around his usual haunts next
morning.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-02-06
Brother Dickey'S Philosophy.

When Spriag plowin' comes
on, de fellers what sings bout
it in de papers gifts so fur off
dat you dunno what dey taIkin'
bout.
Lots er folks goes 'roun' try
in ter borrer snowshoes wen
col weather come on. But hit S
mos iugra' rully dem folks
what forgot all bout las win.
ter,
Dis worr des ez bright ez
what hit ter be. Eff hit wuz
any mo- brighter we'd think
hit wua blazin'. en- tryin' ter
Climate us ter de next one
Mighty lot er folks what
thinks dey fills de station what
Providence perwided fer 'em
can't ketch de train wen hit
gifts ter de station.
Atlanta Constitution.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-02-06
When Mothers I.eayin' Home.
j. Il. HOLT.

Such Il hum of voices! Don't
care where you roam
You'll never hear such noises as
when mothers leavin' home!
Katie, stop your SCREAMING
Rob. what's ailin' you?
Never bring you nothin' more
if that's the way you do!
Such Il hum of Vol ces-enoueh
to shake the dome,
Beats the tower of abel whe II
mothers leavir home!
Katie, do be quiet; there's Jen-
ny cryin', too!
Never bring you nothin' more
if that's the way you do!
Constitution.