davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Musicnl soun.,. .,,I yo,..

1t is n curious fact that musical
sounds fly farther and are heard ut a
grenter distance than those which are
'"orc loud nrd noisy. If we go ON the
outside of town during Il fair, at the
distance of Il mile we hear the musical
instruments, but the din of the multi
tndc, which is so ovcrpowerlng in the
place, can scarcely be heard, the noise
dying on the spot. To those who are
convcrsant With the power OF musical
Instruments the following observations
will be understood: The violins made
Mt Cremona about the year 1900 are
superior In tone to any of IL later date,
age seeming TO disposscss them of their
noisy qualities and leaving nothing
but tho pure tone If Il modern violin
lis played by the side OF one OF those
Instruments, 1t will appear much the
louder of the two, but on reccding n
hundred PAGES when compared with
the Crcmona 1t will scarcely be beard.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
THE ALLIGATOR.
Ne I, Always In Good Hunor Whc1
CRtchinE Elfen

he u Always In Good Humor when
Catching Flies.
'"rhc alligator Is funny beast,n
said the old circus man. 1.-The old fcl.
low we have in the menagerie is a
cross tempered chap. Often ut feed.
Ing time he won't open his mouth, and
we tickle the top of his hose. An alli-
gators nose is very sensitive, and it
always makes him very mad BE
throws back hls upper jaw like a eel
lar door ON hinges. Then we throw in
q chunk of beef. five pounds or so, and
repeat the performance until we've fill.
ed him up with about twenty-five
pounds, which 1t takes to give him a
square meal.
He's never cross when he's fly catch.
Ing. That always puts him in good hui
NOR. One wonld think fly small
tidbit for an alligator, but they eat
them Wholesale. Our old alligator is
Mn expert fly catcher. He throws back
his upper jaw and goes to sleep appar-
emily. The flies light on his under
Jaw. and he waits until it Is pretty
we'll covered with flies-until it's red
color seems about changed to black.
Then suddenly he slams down his up
per jaw. and he has a fine youthful
of flies. Alligatcrs would make excel.
lent tlytraps for houses where thcro
are no children, except that they are
expensive, as they consume such vast
quantity of beef" ."-Houston Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04

Two attorneys who had slipped IMst
the meridian of life without hardly
observing the fact were talking about
ages while eating deliberate lunch
con In the Lawyers club Il couple OF
days ago when one OF them told sto.
ry which embodies the experience Of
more than one man.
ut really came to me with little
shock" he said. II took Il sleeper ut
buffalo for New York, and .hcre we've
only half Il dozen men aboard when I
retired for the night. In the morning
while in the toilet room brushing my
hair | saw in the mirror tic reflection
of the back of an old gentleman l did
not remember seeing before. He up
pcarcd much older than amy man I
had noticed on the car the night be.
fore, and made up my mind that hc
had come aboard after had gone to
bed.
II watched the reflection while ar
ranging my hair and then turned. In.
tending to speak to the old gentleman,
You can imagine my surprise when
found that l bad been looking ut the
reflection of my own back" = New
York Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
A f,ASTY MARRIAGE.
And the Hridc waa Not .hc One the
VyoOcr YoURht


Oliver Cromwell wns SO great n man
that lie lwarfed his surroundings, and
1t is singular how little the majority of
people knew about the family and fam
lily life OF this the most typical Eng
lishman of I'LL time" He hud three.
daughters, the youngest OF whom was
Frances. Her attractions must have
been considerable. The young woman
had several love affairs, but certainly
the one that had II most amusing ter
minution was her Irritation with her
fathers chaplain. Jerry White
One day the protector surprised Icr-
ry on his knees in the very act of kiss
ing the lndy's hand. Cromwell coldly
demanded the meaning of the scene,
and Jerry. with Il pretty wit, exclnim-
ed that he had long been counting
that young gcntlewoman, my lady's
woman although without success. He
was now therefore humbly praying her
ladyslip to interccde for him.
Cromwell turned ut once to the wait
Ing woman and requested to he inform
ed why she refused the honor his
friend, Mr. White. would do her. The
young woman, fully equal to the occa-
sion, replied magnanimously that II
MY. White intended hcr that honor she
would not bc 50 churlish us to deny
him. Call Goodwin" returned Crom-
we'll, and tho pnir were married
straightway.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
china's Antiauity.

China's antiquity is part Of her CO.
lossal proportions. China's early writer's
record physiological history covering
tens Of thousands Of years, but this
period ends with the establishment of
the capital Of the empire at Kaifungfu
In the thirtyfirst century B. G. Her
legendary history extends from this
time to 2205 B. c., ut which time, it
may be said, China's real history be.
gins. The ancient history Of China ex-
tends from 22O5 B. G. to 298 b. G. Her
nedinyal history begins there and ex-
tends to the time Of the Mongol con.
quests In 1915 A. ID. 1,
With the founding of the Mongol dy.
nasty China's modern history begins.
The Mongols We're driven out by the
Nings In 1868 A. d. The NIings were
the last native dynasty that ruled over
China, and their control lasted from
1868 to 1G44. Under the title Of the Ta
Tsing (the Great Pure) dynasty the
Mantchoos have ruled China since A.
A. 1914.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
COnaistencv.

They hnd been married but two
months. IIe came home one evening
to find his wife In tears. She had
found All old scrnpbook OF his in
which were pasted some poems he had
written TO some one else and published
In the college papers. II thought" she
said. you had never loved any one bu,
me-" And he promptly rcassured her
that she had thought truly. and burned
up his old scrapbook In the furnac.
In the basement.
And the next day he found that she
had dis,rl,s.;cd OH the mantel and the
dresser not less than Ave photographs
OF as many former bcuux Of hers and
Invited TWO of them who were In town
to dinner the next Sunday. St Louis
Mirror.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
The SIDE De Morny cared For.

The Due de Morny, half brother to
Louis Napoleon, was ambassador ex-
traordinaly to the emperor of Kussis
during the coronation festivities and
wrote home that the French might
learn something from the Russians, If
1t We're only how to light 10000 cnn
dies in five minutes. De Morny was in
Paris the night before the coup d'etat
and spent the evening at the opera.
Between the acts he went into one OF
the foxes to speak to u lady of his
acquaintance.
what shall You do, NJ. de Morny,' 2
asked n lady, IF the national assembly
is swept out Of doors as thrcatencd!"
MADAME" he replied, 81 shall try to
be on the side OF the broom handlc."-
Gentleman's Magazine
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
rhc Ncoa Kept on sa,n,n..

4 ccr..lin well known judge was once
ciriently attacked by Il youn. and very
l,.paGent counsel. 70 the surprise OF
everybody, the judge heard him quite
tLro,l: h. unconscious of What was said
by ,ll Sc present, and made 10 reply.
After the adjournment for the day
and when all were assembled ut the
hotel where the judge and many of the
court folk had their refreshments, one
of the company asked the judge why
he did not rcbuie the impertinent fell
low.
Permit me-" said the judge lond
enough to attract the attention CT the
whole company, among whom was the
bnrrister in question-'pcrmit me to
tell you little story. My father, when
NC lived in the county, had n dog, Il
mere puppy, may say. Well, this
puppy would go cut every moonlight
night and bark at the moon for hours
together"
The judge paused, MS If he had I'm.
ishcd.
"Well. what Of ftp exclaimed half a
dozen of the audience at once.
"Ol. nothing-nothing but the moon
kept shining on, just as If nothing had
happened"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Dcnth In Nlrhtmare.

One of the late beliefs of the med
fcal profession is that many people
die cach year while asleep from heart
disease that is brought on by night
mares or bad dreams. A specialist on
the heart said recently that in his
opinion in nine cases out Of ten OF
deaths in bed heart action was stop
ped by fear which injurious dreams
brought on.
II have taken part In thousands of
autopsics," said this expert, "and in
many cases made study of the hab-
Its Of those who died. found that
the majority had been sufferers from
Nightmares or other nocturnal dis
turbances of dreamand and that fire.
quently they woke up i'll the middle
of the night completely exhausted and
Gravcly alarmed through some partic-
ularly vivid dream. II people are
frightened 70 death while awake when
they have their full senses and hone
for relief. why is it not doubly likely
that they die from fright while asleep
when their courage is dwarfed by fac.
ultics temporarily nffectedY
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
OUR CONSCIENCE FUNDA
q was Started With q Dollar In.t.ls
Henr 1871

In the year 1S1l," says III. T.. Arm
strong In Ainslee's Magazine, "ah
anonymous citizen Of New York sent q
dollar to the treasury department at
Washington with un avoN0l that he
ha.l Iceruuded the government SaMd
wanted to make restoration. a dGlar
llcalt something to Uncle Sam, In
those neccssttous days when the coun-
try vcrged on war with Great Britain.
and 1t was IL patriotic ns wclias II len-
i;cnt act The contributor. was the
founder OF the conscience fund. and
probably he died in the oda OF snnc-
tity.
During the preceding tldrty-dys
years of the life of the rcpublic\ no one
had dcspoiled the government, toy the
private conscience was callous.S This
New York man, indeed. seems toShave
been the one blemish "a, goldenN era
OF national virtues. for tifty years were
to elapse before there was an addition
to the fund.
''ln 1861. just after Sumter was fired
on, the sum of $4,000 in bonds w,ls 70
ccived by the treasury department
with letter explaining that n sorely
tried conscience could no longer chi
durc its burden Of guilt. The plain IN
ference was that the sender. realizing
the United States would need mint
OF money to carry on the war, Judged
1t not TO be IL time to defer repentance.
Think OF the bounty jumpersAwho prof
itel by his contribution!
''lt was really useful to the country
In another way. The conscience fund.
which had languishcd for want of u
shining example, now became active.
1t has been quoted pretty steadily ever
since. At the present time 1t amounts
to more than S3OO.OOO. Indeed, rcstitu.
tion is getting to be the fashion. and
the time may come when no one will
take advantage of the government or
do so only with the laudnble design Of
swelling the conscience fund when any
emergency comfronts Uncle SAM"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Told Yer story.

The little daughter OF Il man who had
been chosen for jury duty In London
the other day went to the judge and
said: "PIeasc, sir, father can't come.
lie can't put on his boots"
The judge asked the nervous little
creature what was the matter with her
father Her hesitation showed that she
had not been sufficiently equipped for
the complete deception OF the wary Of
hcial. He repeated his question.
Well. sir" she said, looking straight
into the judges twinkllng eyes. "fa-
thcr don't wear boots. He's got wooden
legs. l wasn't told to tell you anything
else, sir; that's ALL"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Tortured Women.

Tho married Druse women OF Mount
Lebanon, In Asia Minor, labor under 1.
distinct species of torture endured ,ln.
der their peculiar head Veil 1t Is at.
tachcd TO n long horn or tnmtoor usual
ly made of metal. which is fastened to
the head by means of u cushion. These
habaras nre of an infinite variety of
colors, enbcllished with tassels, bands
Gf embroidery and fringcs. Underneath
this again is Worn {. face veil of coarse
thick net so heavily embroidered thut
one can scarcely see or breathe through
1t. This is fastened close to the face
ard the habara drawn tightly over it
They arc so mutIled in the folds of
these clumsy stufls that the stranger
has to look twice before he can decide
whether they are advancing or retreat-
Ing, and the poor wrctches suffer acute
ly under tho weight of their wells.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Saved the Lamp.

An amusing scene occurred Mt New
York dock the other night. A Scotch
engineer, who wished to go ashore, or
dered boy to show him the way With
a lantern. AS he was crossing the mar
row plank that served as gangway
the boy slipped and fell into the water.
The instinct Of the true Scot Instant
ly showed itself. "Hold on to the lamp,
boy" the engineer shouted, leaning
over toward the water. "Do you hear?
II It's lost, there's a dollar gone from
your wages"
After some time the boy was rescued
half drowned, but clinging to the lamp.
AS some compensation for his trouble
he was forgiven for losing the bottom
of it,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Lincoln Told q Story.

At one time n friend complained I'd
President Lincoln that Il certain cabi-
net officer was administering his office
with unusual energy with the hope OF
securing the presidential nomination.
That reminds me-" said Mr.. Lincoln.
that my brother and were once plow-
Ing field with IL lazy horse. but ut
times he rushed across the field SO fast
that 1 could hardly keep up with him.
at last found an enormous chin fly
Oh him and Knocked it Off. Now l am
not going to make that mistake q Sec
ond time. If the secretary has chin
fly on him, am not going to knock it
of. If 1t will only make his department.
Co."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Army shoca ana Corn,.

IF n law could be passed" said q
chlropodist, prohibiting the wearing
u any shoe in this country except the
pattern army shoe Worn during our
civil war, the corn doctors occupation
would be gone. That war was for the
time the greatest corn eradicator ever
known. never knew a single case OF
q soldier in that war who suffered
from corns a month after he began
wearing his regulation army shoe. and
I was four years a soldier in it myself.
That shoe seemed to be made just
right for comfort"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Calling up Fish.

The other day several New York
brokers received telephone orders to
buy certain stock and notify MIR.
Fish at IL given telephone number
Calling up that number. the response
was invariably, Which one is want
edY" Then followed this convcrsn ton:
"l1ow many Of them ure thereY
"Sevcral hundred. lurge and small"
81 want the head of the firm"
"Oh. then, you want Colonel Jones'"
Colonel Jones? No. l want Mr.. Fish.
Who in thunder are your
"The Aquurium!'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
How to MIKE Clue.

To produce liquid glue which will
keep for years break pieces of glue
and place in bottle with some whs-
Ky. Cork tightly and set aside for
few days. This should be ready for
use without the application of heat ex-
cept In very cold weather, when the
bottle should be placed in hot water
for few minutes before using the
s,luo
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Illip0is Central R. R.
ofInterest to
STOCKHOLDERS
and Free Transportati0ntO Attend the Special
Animal MeetinpS al CHICAGO,

Public notice is hereby given that a special
meetin of the stockholders of the Illinois Cen
trail Railroad Company will be held at the Com
pany's office in Chicago. Illinois, on Friday,
August 90, 1902. at Il o'clock in the forenoon
also that the regular annual meeting of the
stockholders Of the Company will be held at it's
Offices in Chicago, Illinois. on Wednesday,
October Is, 1902, at noon.
To permit rertonal attendance at these meet
ings there will he issued to each holder of one
or more shares of the capital stock of the Illi-
nois Central Railroad company as registered on
the books of the Company at the close of bust
ness on Friday, August l., 1902, and to stock
holders of record on Friday, September 49, 1902
aticktt enabling him. or her, to travel free
over the Company's Lines from the station on
the Illinois Central Railroad nearest to his or
her registered address to Chicago and return,
such ticket to be good for the journey to Chi
csgo only during the four days Immediately
preceding, and the day of the meeting, and for
the return journey from Chicago only on the
day of the meeting, and the four days immed-
lately following, when properly countersigned
and stamped during business hours-that is to
say, between 900 m and 500 min the
Office of the Assistant Secretary, Mr.. ". g..
BauEN, In Chicago. Such ticket may be OBJ
tsined by any holder of stock registered as
above, on application, in writing, to the Presi-
dent of the Company in Chicago. Each ap-
plication must state the full name and address
of the stockholder exactly rs given in his or her
certificate of stock, together with the number
and date of such certificate. No more than
one person will be carried free in respect to any
one holding of stock as registered on the books
Of the Company.
octl+ A. G. HACKsTAFF, Secretary.
:. y. -..-.... .-.........-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
sea,.l..n Doc.n.. c"mc From Seals

seainis:n Docsn't c=mc From Scnls.
The beautiful product used for cloth
ing and commonly known ns scaIslin
is not furnished by the true seal. whose
skin Is almost useless except when
used as an ornamental mat or stiff rug
They are the sea lions and sea bears
The cared seals, otaiia whose skins
nro Is" h''sh'y v:tlliaii because so soft
and warm. The trt:e seal is common
enough, bat its SKIN Is cnly priced us
trophy, and it may be added that
scalskin when ready for clothing has
not, as often supposed. the same <lowny
appearance OH the living animal, being
covered with long, coarse, deep rooted
hairs, which drop out when dressed by
the furricr and leave the soft, woolly
hair ulllJljured
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
But He Weakened.

my dear" said the poet sternly,
1--WE just sold love song. but
"But whatY
"Oh, nothing. was Just about to
say that ! wouldn't buy bacon or
greens or self raising -four with tho
money, but-you know best."-Atlanta
Constitution.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
An Invitation.

A good story is told of an elder in IN
English church who on one occasion
had to take the pulpit in the absence
of the minister at the last moment. He
got through the first part Of the serv-
ice all right, but ON getting up to give
the sermon he found his difficulty
then. He started with, Brethren
(pause]-b-b-brethren lpausc]-b-b-b-
brethren. If any Of you wants the con-
ceit taken out of you come UP here"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Lynch Inv

Lynch law In its usual meaning Isl
said to be traceable to Galway wor-
thy. In 1893 one James FitzStephen
Lynch. mayor of that city, sentence6
bis own son to death for murder and.
fearing a rescue, had the culprit
brought home and hanged before his
own door. The tradition may be found
alluded to in Thackeray's Irish Sketch
Book" There are critics, however.
who say that the law was in its origin
essentially American. and they date it
buck to Charles Lynch, a Virginia1
planter Of the seventeenth century. ;,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
AZ It Appeared Long Before Betsy
Ross Mndc One.

ltOSN NluOG One.
Few persons have noticed the inter-
esting evolution on our flag of the
stripes and stars as depicted in the ar
mory of the Ancicnts at the top of Old
Faneuil hall. Most persons are famil-
lar with the story of Mrs. Ross and
the making of the first tag of the free.
But evidently it was not Mrs. Ross
who originated the iden of the stripes.
Down in the armory of the Ancients
you will see first the broad rcd flag
with the old English cross in its field.
Next very similar flag, except that
the broad rcd becomes blue, with no
red but in the cross itself on the white
field. Next the white flag, with its
pine tree and appeal to Heaven"
whence came our own state banner.
Then it would appear that the fathers
went back again, for the next flag has
the red and white longitudinal stripes,
but i'm the field there are the crosses
of st. George and St. Andrew worked
out in red UPON white ground. The
next flag restores the blue to the field.
1t, too, has the longitudinal red and
white stripes and the combined crosses
of st. George and st. Andrew, as in
the British jack. worked out in red
and white upon Il blue field. 1t was
not till after that. upon the assertion
of independence by tho colonies, that
Mrs. Koss's flag appeared, and appar-
emily she only substituted for the dou-
bic crosses the circle of thirteen stars
upon the blue field.
The red. white and blue and the rcd
and white stripes were all in the flag
generations before Mrs. Ross was
born, as the collection of the Ancients
demonstrates.-B Boston Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
A month without a rull Moon,

The month of February, 1906, was
the most remarkable month in the
worlds history. January had two full
moons, and so had March, but Febru.
ary had none. This had not occurred
since the creation Of the world. and,
according to some astronomers, the
same thing may not occur again for
period Of $500, 100000 years.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Quite u Difference,

The department. store is useful and
convenient, but the multifarious ma
turc Of it's activities sometimes leads
to dilemma.
"Where shall find something nice in
oil for the dining room" asked Il stout,
smiling woman of the floorwalkcr in n
western department store.
"On the third began the floor.
walker. Then he paused md looked
doubtfully at the inquirer. "Did you
mean II painting or something In the
Bagdinc line!" he asked.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
The Coming Race.

II see that some English doctor or
something says TINT we are develop.
ing into II lcgless race"
How could there be race without
iegsY
Easy. What's the matter with q
steamboat race? At the sane time. It
looks as If a leglcss race would be a
great boom for politics."
"How soY'
Everybody would be going on the
stump. Plnin Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
On the Trail OF ra,nc,

"And how that you arc through col.
legc, what are you going to toY' asked
friend of the youthful candidate.
Il shall study medicine" was the
grave reply of the young man.
"But isn't that profession already
ovcrcrowdcd?" asked the friend.
Possibly 1t is" answered the knew
Ing youth. "but ! propose TO study
medicine just the same, and those who
are already in the profession will have
to take their chances"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04

Japan has only ono orphanagc, yet
In no other land are fathcrlcss children
better cared for Every family cares
for the sick, destitute or orphans near
est to 1t. There is a superstition that
childless house is accursed. and peo-
pie who nrc not blessed with children
OF their own never rest till they have
adopted some waif.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-09-04
Silently Assented.

The Nervous Pedestrian ran plump
into Stolid Individual standing IN
front Of Clothing Store.
'You Dummy" he shouted.
The Stolid Individual ignored the Ac
cusation. A Second Glance showed
the Nervous Pedestrian that hs was
Right-L9s Angeles Herald.