The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1902-08-15
BRINGING up
THE CHILDREN.

o.o,.o..o..osso..o..os.o..o.sossos.os.
Some one has as ked for helpful talks
upon the subject of the right bringing
up of children. and there certainly is
Z large need of such discussions; but we,
who have had much experience in the
rearing of families, hesitate to offer
advice, or 10 formulate rules by the
! following of which the best results
NAV be obtained. We have learned by
our own failures how futile even our
widest theories may prove, in bring
| ing about desired ends, and We have
/ learned, too, that a child is an indi-
vidual. Only the most general rules
may be applied to class; every child
4 needs treatment peculiarly fitted to
I its individual needs and to find out the
I best methods of family government
| the mother must not only know her
child's peculiaritis, put she must know
I her own as well.
, But there are some general rules
which may be hopefully followed, and
! these rules call for the mothers self
knowledge scarcely less than for a
knowledge of the child's peculiarities.
in order to bear the best fruits. L
! think we would best begin with the
mother, herself, as | know, from long
experience that the mothers need train
| ing before they can train the children.
One of the mother greatest mis-
takes-born, too, of her great love for
her child, is the habit of self abnega-
| tion-of self. forgetfulness and this
! tends to make the child selfish and
careless, and breeds in the dawnlng
mind an utter disregard for the rights
of others this selfshness is taught,
too. at the expense of non development
of its best faculties.
There is the greatest temptation on
the part of the mother to 10, or have
done, everything for the child, rather
! than let it share the resp onslbllltles
of its own growth. Children thus wait
ed upon learn to expect and exact service
from others as their rights and they thus
never realize the relation in which they
should stand upon the plane OF give
and take. A child's ideas of business
and fairness to its Immediate COM
| panions in such a case, is often very
vague, but the balance OF human
rights should be the first lesson taught,
| If we would have the child prepared
TO meet the hard knocks when 1T is
|
as it must be, sooner or later. and
may he at any time. One must exact
from the child in measure what 1t
expects of others. 1t must be taught
that a service rendered must be paid
in kind-not as matter OF obedience,
but as return service, due to another.
1t must be taught the balance OF human
| justice-the community OF rights
| that, inasmuch as we are served, we
owe it to another to in like manner
render service; that one should never
expect something for nothing
as right, without graceful ackno WI
edgement of any kindness or courtesy
from another, of whatever degree.
The lesson Of gratefulness for favors
bestowed should also be inculcated
early, and the dawning mind thus
| taught that any voluntary service or
gift is to be remembered, and, il occa-
sion offer, repaid by voluntary SER
vice to another But it should not be
| taught to render service to another
solely as, or for, reward. Try to teach
| it that it owes these courtesles to 9th
ers: that it owes this Willingness to
render service to others to Its own bet,
| ter self; and impress upon Its nina
that this willingness to do unto 9th
ers'' will grow with exercise until IT
shall become pleasure and a happi-
ness, and by it one will win not alone
its own self-approval, but also the love
and good will of its companions and
the consideration of its associates
through all it's life.
But especially should the child be
taught to wait upon itself-to think
for itself, and to do little services for
1 the mother; it should be taught to
realize that it's mother is often over
burdened, and that there are many lit.
tie ways in which its weak little hands
or nimble feet can help and not hinder
Let it feel that it is responsible for
certain little duties, and let these du-
ties depend upon it for performance
This education may begin very early
in life, and if carefully followed up,
will spare the mother as we'll as the
rest of the household, many tired
moment.
Another thing children should be
taught. and in this, implicit obedience
demanded, and that is, not to NEEDLE
at home or abroad-with anything.
Nobody likes a meddlesome child, and
especially do those whose homes are
childless dislike to have their dainty be-
longings fingered by visiting child
rem, or the odd corners of their house,
hold pryed into by little ones who are
allowed to do just as they please in
their own homes. A child, no matter
how lovable otherwise, or how dear, II
it is Into everything. is never well
coined, but it's visits are always
dreaded by even the kindest OF its
friends. Exchange.