The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-11-09
THE COUNTRY DOCTOR
HE THINKS HE HAS MORE TRIBULA.
TIONs THAN HIS CITY BROTHER.
1t Is an Eng1ishman's Tale of Woe,
but His Case Is Probably Typical
of the Class Everywhere.

"a Country Doctor" in London Mail.
qualified myself for the practice of
medicine and surgery six years ago. taking
the final M. R. c. s., L. r. c. p. Having
qualified, I married and settled down here
in l. for life.
I am the parish doctor: my practice is
widespreading, and 1 have three opponents.
1 play whist and exchange the ordinary
amenities of life with two of them, but am
not on speaking terms with the third, who
has poached several of my patients, and
who, whenever he has a chance, endeavors
to cut my professional throat.
My practice deserves in no way to be
brought into that fierce light which radi-
ates from the press, and I only expose it
to the public gaze because it is typical,
think, Of most country practices. 1t is the
ordinary general practitioner and his con-
dition wish to present to you when use
the personal pronoun 'I' and the pos
sessive mine" without, I hope, the picto-
rial confusion / once beheld at a magic
lantern entertainment when, from the
sticking together of three Photographic
plates, Calais harbor, Jerusalem and the
old Kent road were cast altogether in one
glorious tumble on the screen.
1 paid ESQ for my practice, and had to
take spawned horse and a cow and other
things at the owners valuation. I earn
six hundred and fifty year and receive
about five; that is to say, I give the sur
rounding population f15O a year in hard
work and drugs for which they return me
nothing-not even thanks.
I was telling Mr.. Mould, our undertaken,
of this fact the other day, and he smiled.
He is always paid for his work because he
is the undertaken, but the doctor-oh, the
doctor can wait. 1t would be indecent, it
seems, to leave the undertaken unpaid, but
really for the life of me / cannot see why,
when 1t comes to a matter of decency, the
undertaken should be covered and the doc
tor let go naked; but so ii is. Now just
look here while / open my ledger and day
book.
"a NOBLE PROFESSION"
Here is Mrs. Wormingalps account
marked account rendered, account rendered,
account rendered-till 1t makes one absolute
ly giddy. Fifteen pounds she has owed me
for the last three years, and all 1 have re-
ceived from her is an old goose the Michael
mas before last. Why don't / county
court her? Because 1 can't, and that's the
the country are like a big family-you have
to take the bad with the good and be thank
full that it's not worse. Old Mrs. Worm
ingall and old Mrs. whiteinghall and old
Mrs. Skin EN- all hang together like bees
in cluster, and IL you offend one you have
the whole swarm round your head, and Mrs.
Whiteinghall pays me EGO a year certain
so you see!
The medical profession is a noble profess
sion, know, but don't want to be told
so; for when a patient begins to expa-
tate on the nobility of my profession
know she-it is usually a she-win in seven
cases out of ten forget to settle my account
pay my bill. why not use plain English at
once? / hate the word bill, and 1 would
not send such thing out Of my house if
the butcher and the baker and the candle
stick maker would follow suit and do unto
me as would do unto them.
So much for the ledger; now see the day
book. Look at Mrs Wormingall's cough
mixtures, pills, mixtures to be taken three
times a day ex aqua, mixtures to be taken
four times a day with one of the powders
mixtures to be taken at night, at dusk, at
dawn-every one of those bottles has had
and papered; hundreds of them there are,
and I've only had an old goose in exchange
for the lot!
like her, and the funny thing is they are
more exacting and give me more trouble
than any half dozen of the people who pay
me promptly and well.
/ don't wish TO ride sorry subject to
death, and in fairness to humanity / must
say that these folk form small minority,
but i must, in passing, notice those shame
less people who come to me, extract my
advice without payment, leave me, abuse
me and go to DR.. Smith down the road
swallow his drugs without paying for them,
abuse him, leave him and go to DR.. Brown
at the ferry, suck him dry, so to speak
and then leave the neighborhood. What
ever poor old Mrs. Wormingall does, she
sticks to me and swears by me.
MANY TRIBULATIONS.
Writing anonymously, I may say, with
out blushing, that my medicine very often