Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-02-13

have very llllle ~ up"'hS 'Ni SoSu Otl-
er. Wagg-Nonsense! Haven't you
aver noticed how folks cry at a wed.
ding:
81 wonder If this bridge pays?" said
Lord Lennox. in approaching Vauxhal
bridge. Go over it," said Hook, the
punster. and you'll be tolled."-Youth's
Companion.
Mrs. Porkchops-Bah! They're mere
parvenus. Mr. PorkchOps-Er-got thel,
money since we did? Mrs. Porkchops-
Why. yes; they've just struck oil IN
brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Younglin (going out)-John, do
YOU suppose you can hear the baby
from where you are If he wakes up and
cries? John Cwho is reading the news
paper)-I dunno; hope not.
An Editorial Encounter: Nubbs-Hs
went into the editors office like roar.
ing lion and came out like postage
stamp. Bubbs-How was that? Nubbs
-Licked.-Detroit Free Press.
A Costly Feed: I'VE had a feast for
king at our boarding. yesterday
1t included all the choicest dellcacies Of
the season" What were they Hash
and ash."-Cleveland lain
Dealer.
How it looked: Wife-Ive gotten 50
that don't care if you are not at home
more. | have resources of my own
Husband-You don't mean to say that (
you have learned to quarrel with your
self?-Life.
Kitty-That young chap, Charlie 0s
| good. has fallen in love with chorus T
girl. Jane Well there's nothing
strange about that. Young boys always
| fall in love with girls old enough to be /
their mothers.
You seem to be much interested in
me, my little girl. What is itT' I'll
don't see how your face can be 50
smooth and clear; papa says you have
Travelled all over the country on it,
Boston Transcript.
y Trifle Mixed; Tess-What is ab.
sinthe, do you know? Jess-Oh! II
think it's one of those fake love pO
tions. | read in book one time that
'absinthe makes the heart grow fond.
er."-Philadelphia Press.
Tell me-" he sighed, tell me, beauti.
full maiden, what is in your hearth
Miss Henrietta Bean, of Boston, gave
him look of icy disdain, and then
vouchsafed the monosyllable reply:
Blood. baltimore American.
Some colored folks naturally blue;
Miss Johnson-Melndy jackson says
she has blue blood in her veins, Miss
Snohaike-Well, she orter hab. De fe'
male side oh her house has been han.
ding washing blue for ten generations
Exchange.
For arts sake: "Griselda," said the
visiting relative, you ought not to try
to sing when you are shaking with the
chills.' 81 haven't got the chills, aun.
tie" replied the church-choir soprano
81 am practicing on my tremolo. ."-Chl.
cago Tribune.
Did you ever try any of these health
toodSE the sympathetic friend asked
of the dyspeptic lady. Yes" she re
piled, and I'm not going to eat any
more of them" 'Why not?" Because
they spoil my Appetite "--Cleveland
Plain Dealer
Before the bout rs Mickey in CON
ditlon| He's as fine as silk. All,
Mickey's great boy. He's got some.
thing up his sleeve that'n astonish all
thin other buffers" What is it. Mis-.
ter Doolan" ITS his ar-r-m."-Cleve.
land Plain Dealer.
First Teamster-Well | see, Moike,
we've declared stroke at the Selby
works. Second Teamster-Naw! Is
that so! And why? First Teamster-
Wen, you see, it was this way: That
ieIiow Winters, who made the big haul,
WASH member of the union.
How he did it: Moses-How did YOU
make your fortune? Levi-By horse.
racing Moses-Not betting? Levi
No. started pawnshop just outside
TIE race-course for the people who
wanted to get home when the races
We're over.-Philadelphia Press.
Providing himself with business
lou run your automobile very fast
through the streets" said the friend tC
the doctor. Yes replied the man Of
p'Iis and bills; I'm always in a hurry
10 get there; and, besides, when times
are a little dull, can I,,ck up a few
cases on the way."-Cleveland PlaiI
Dealer.
Man secret power: in all my
life" she said, with a sigh 81 hav,
seen only one man that would car,
10 marry" Did he look like me?" ht
earelessly asked. Then she flung her
SELF into his arms, and wanted to know
what secret power men possess that en-
aoles them to tell when they are loved
chicago Record, Herald.
Hard to tell: 81 see your names II
the papers good DEAL" commenteC
the old friend; Il suppose you're reall!
III society now" My wife thinks W,
a anil.