davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
Halfway.

One day a drill sergeant in the
army had number of recruits 10
drill, and wanted the married men
separated from the single ones, SO be
formed them in line and gave the
word of commands:
Single men, advance; and married
men, fall back in the rear"
"All took their positions except
one, an Irishmap, who stood still.
The sergeant asked the reason why
he had not m<7ed, but no answer
came from Pat
"Come, my man, are you married ?"
"No," replied Pat.
Then, you are single"
NO"
"Then what are you?"
Il am couriting Sally and we ha7't
fixed the time"
The sergeant collapsed:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23

I take great pleasure in giving the
very highest testimonial to DR..
Bakers Blood and Liver Cure. I
used it in 1895 Infammatory Rheu-
matism. I was severely afflicted
with the disease and tried my family
physician, in addition to various
remedies, without effect. Iprocured
somo of the above medicine, and be-
fore using bottle of it I could walk
without my crutches, and by the
time had used bottle and a half,
I felt entirely well, and have not
suffered any since. I cheerfully re-
commend it, and believe it will do
all it's projectors claim for it.
Respectfully,
E. 0. Mastin,
Deputy Collector of Wilkes
County, n. c., Feb %, 1898.
For sale at the Bazaar.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
TEARING UP.

! EOVERS getting ready
VH For the coming fit.
Hustiing in the dwellings
Which they soon viii Guit.
LonG ard late they're working,
Often there's Il sigh,
For but little progress
Meets the weary eye. =
Tearing up the carpets,
GouginG out the taclE3-
Work that's; very trying
On the arms and backs.
Taking down the curtains :.
And the parts complex :, y.
Task that's sorcly testing -:
Muscles Of the nechs. -
49,
Rolling up spare bedding, r..
Tying up spare chairs,
Often wildly rushing
Jp and down the stairs. =
Taking down the pictures, =
Brushing off the dust;
Now ara then there's br2akaSe,
Causing much disgust.
Packing up the dishes.
Now and then crash
Finest piece Of china
Quickly gone to smash. T. =:
Clearing out the drawers, *
Throwing things away
Ribbons. cards and trinkcts
That have had their day. I;
Mailing up the boxes =,
In which goods are packed; =
Oft a thumb or finger
Fcarfully is whacked. - :.
Working on till midnight, Itt.7 !
Rest Tor hours but few: N?H i.
:. Up again at daybrcak, ~
Finding more to Go. y Essi.fN ~
Movers getting ready II!
For the coming fit
Day and night must hustle, -,
And they're strictly 1T. -
No more time for folly,
No more time for play;
They must have things ready
For the moving day.
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
Wednesday, April %, 1902.
General Mixture.

Some fellows propose out of Curl
osity, just to see what the girl will
say.
Someone says that liquor strength
ems the voice. This is mistake; it
only makes the breath strong.
Every man on earth has his faults,
but the girl who is engaged to be
married is positive there is one ex-
ception.
Trv Chamberlain's Stomach &
Liver Tablets, the best physlc. For
sale by J. E. Kaufman.
So few people are sensible about
being in love because they don't have
to be; all they have to be is just to
be in love.
There is this difference between
wisdom and happiness. lie VINO
thinks himself the wisest is generally
the greatest fool.
Work is part of every normal life;
we are here ''to serve our day and
generation" as the old phase puts it.
So labor should be to use pleasure,
lust as much as eating or sleeping.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
Bnckshoal. n. @

Four years ago I was helpless
with q misery in my back. I could
not turn myself in bed. Twas treat
ed by my physician, but he did me
no good. I took one bottle of DR..
Bakers Female Regulator and it
cured me. I think there is no medi-
cine on earth like it.
Mrs Emma E. Myers.
For sale at the Bazaar.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
Not CareIess1y Chosen.

"Why did you select that man IS a
candidate" asked the henchman. He
doesn't know anything about politics.
That's why l selected him." answer
ed the boss. Hell be 4 great deal
easier to put out of office if he doesn't
be Washington Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23


Kidney trouble causes quick or unsteady
heart beats, and makes one feel as though
they had heart trouble, because the heart is
over-working in pumping thick, kidney
poisoned blood through veins and arteries.
1t used to be considered that only urinary
troubles were to be traced to the kidneys,
but now modern science proves that nearly
all constitutional diseases have their begin
ming in kidney trouble.
If you are sick you can make no mistake
by first doctOring your kidneys. The mild
and the extraordinary effect of DR.. Kilner's
Swa-np=Root, the great kidney remedy is
soon realized. II stands the highest for its
wonderful cures Of the most distressing cases
52 52d ali i 5foxSis.s 5255 en 5i in ns5;s f;fty
cent and one-dollar siz-
es. You may have - .=G=zEss9 =5!:==s:zE=ssss=
sample bottle BY mail Homo Of swampRoot.
free also pamphlet telling you how to find
out if you have kidney or bladder trouble.
Mention this paper when writing Dr.. Kilmer
8, Co., Binghamton, N. 7.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23

lhe kidneys are your
blood purifiers. they fiji
ter out The waste or
impurities in the blood.
If they are sick or out
of order, they fail to do
their work.
Pains, aches andrheu-
matIsn come from eX-
cess Of uric acid in the
blood, due to neglected
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
The Changing Season.

Mrs. Hatterson-What. You've had
fourteen cooks in three months!
Mrs. Catterson Yes. and I didn't
please any of tbem.-L;fe.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23

Mrs. Henpeck I'm
sorry l ever married
you!
Mr.. IIenpeck-So am
I! This is the first
question we have ever
agreed upon.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
Over=Work Weakens
Your Kidneys
Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood.

All the blood in your body passes through
vnnr kidneys once every three minutes.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
Slightly Diff

Slightly Dill
ferent.
Mr.. Monk
They say beau
ty is but skin
deep.
Miss Hippo
Well. with me
ugliness is but
skin deep. !
am sure II l
didn't have this
thick skin I'd
be much bet.
ter looking. -
Chicago News.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23

Liver and kIdneys tones
up the stomach.
It is the mark of the weak spirit to
despise the common task. There is
no surer way up the ladder than by
using the common task as something
by which to climb to the uncommon
one.
lone cannot master the piano
without hard work." said *he young
woman. Still, it shouldn't be all
work and no play" remarked the
man with sensitive nerves who lives
next door.
Mrs. Mulligan-"And SO you have
no mother now?" Motherless Boy
mo, mum" Mrs. M-"Well, me
boy, whenever you feel the want Of a
good tbrash;ng, come to me and I'll
be mother to you"
HiIton's Life for the
Liver and Kidneys
overcomes constipa-
ton.
A faint suspicion entering the mind
and brooded upon will often develop
into jealousy, anger and hatred;
while, on the other hand, pure and
noble thoughts cherished will make
the character purer and nobler.
Maxim's cavalry gun, which fires
700 shots minute, weighs but 80
pounds and can be carried strapped
to a soldiers back. The gun ne
made for the Sutton of Turkey fires
77O minute; but it is field piece
on wheels.
If we cease to be kind even for a
few days it shows in the tone of the
color of our life as others know US.
IF for only q few days We fail in
showing kindness, our hand will lose
something Of its skill in LIES sweet
ministry.
~ neighbor ran in with a bottle
of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy when my son was
suffering with severe cramps and was
given up as beyond hope by my
regular physician, who stands high
in his profession. After administer
ing three doses of it, my son regain
ed consciousness and recovered en-
tirely within twenty-four hours"
says Mrs. Mary Haller, of Mt. Craw-
ford, Va. This remedy is for sale by
J. E. Kaufman.
God often shuts the door in our
face in order that we may go through
another one which he has opened.
He knows that the closed door is the
one that we want to go through, but
the open one is the door that We need
to go through.
It is mistake to receive welcome,
hospitality, words of cheer and help
over hard places in life, in return for
cold selfshness, which cares for
nothing but self. It is painful not
to meet with the kindness and afec-
tion that you think is yours by right.
Thousands are laid aside on beds
of sickness, unable to bear their part
in life's activities, and the thought of
this is their heaviest burden. The
simple fact is that We have unimpair-
ed faculties of service should in itself
be to US source Of joy.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
He Had.

He Hnd.
Haven't you
any Occupa-
tion ?" a SIX
the woman at
t h e kitch en-
door after lis
tening to his
tale Of woe.
Yes, ma d.
am" responded
TuffOld knutt.
I'm a hunter.
"a hunter!
OF what?"
"Grub, mad
am"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23

Hard to Please
"DO the new
neighbors an
noy YOU as
much by bor-
rowing as their
predeces ssors
did?" q sked
Mr.. B!ykins.
NO. ''ansWer-
ed his wife;
they haven't
run over to
borrow a thing.
I never saw
anybody quite
so hau ghty
and unsOcia-
BILE" W q sh-
ington Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23
der Excellent

Reason.
"But why do
you persist in
worrying?:" de-
manded t h e
ca sy goin 3
man.
I'm the hope
Of making you
worry 4 little,
answered the
good woman.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-04-23

Some fellows propose out of Curl
osity, just to see what the girl will
sov
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-05-13

Lodge, said that the insurgents en-
gagged in similar work. The witness
said that Filipino prisoners were we'll.
treated by the American soldiers, and
with the exception of roast beef occa-.
sionally issued to the soldiers, they,
had practically the same food. The sick
among the Filipino prisoners also
we're we'll cared for.
The Army Bill.
Washington, May THE senate
committee on military affairs has
completed the army appropriation
bill. Increases recommended by the
committee bring the total appropria-
ton made by the bill up to about
100000
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-05-13
Dangerous If Neglected.

Burns cuts and other wounds of ten
fail to heal properly if neglected and
become troublesome sores. DeWi1it'S
Witch Hazel Salve prevents such c. IN
sequences. Even where delay has sg-
gravated the injury Dewitt's Wit ch
Hazel Salve effects a cure. II had a
running sore on my leg thirty years, +"
FL. G. Hartly, Yankeetown, Ind. "tlf-
ter using many remedies, tried 'e-
Wits Witch Hazel Salve. A few box
es healed the sore." Cures all skin H.
eases. Piles yield to it atonce. Bewa re
Of counterfeitS.- Shuttleworth Drug
Company.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-05-13
I TIC: Hand of Ice
TRANSCRIBED BY FLORENCE WARDEN,
Author OF The House
by tho Shore "A Prince Of Darkness" etc.
Copyrighted, lsos, b. 1lor.nos w.rd.a.,

y 1loSence WeroeA.)
You woke me up nearly hair ON hour
ago by talking and muttering-"
Ibid II" said I.
And then looked at him narrowly.
I thought he seemed anxious and curl
Gus, and that he looked into my face
with careful scrutiny.
YES What were you dreaming
about?"
"I-I-I-What did say-in my
shep? asked 1. earnestly.
well, from what could make out"
replied Diok--and as he spoke I be-
came aware that he was of an odd,
livid color, and that little beads of
moisture were glistening on his fore
head-"you seemed to have an idea
that somebody was trying to poison
you
Then there was long silence. l
began to tremble in my turn, and as
for Mullion, 1 could almost hear his
teeth chatter. Both of US knew that
there was some secret hanging over us,
seemed to be fellow sufferers rather
than opponents. This idea grew so
| strong upon me, as watched the ex-
preston of his face, that 1 was moved
to put to him the last question: should,
on the preceding evening, have Thought
it safe to frame:
"Are you interested in old studies
astrology?-alchemy?"
Dick did not start, did not look at
me again. He just bent his head as he
sat on the side of the bed, and pres
| emily said, in a low voice:
"Why do you ask that, eh?"
Il know you read books about those
| things" 1 answered, rather weakly.
For few moments he was silent
| again; but when he did turn to me,
though his face had not yet recovered
its healthy color, he was quite quiet
| quite gentle, and he spoke withoutany
anger, in moderate and argumenta.
tive tone,
"Even If do read such books
I "And about poisons," put in has
lily.
/ He took my addition without any
heat.
"And about poisons-dt doesn't fol
low that I want to test exploded the
cries upon you, does it?"
I gasped loudly, taken back by his
cool and frank reference to my IN
spoken accusations
'Then what ON earth do you wante'
said I desperately. why do you shu
ms up here? Why don't you let IN.
servants come to mes Why don't yo'
let mo go"
"Youfe nos.at to go yet. you know,
said Mullipn. Suddenly rising and put
ting on mono authoritatiye manner
SHUT you shall as coon "a it's safe fo
you to 90 so. In the meantime pra.
do all You can not to give way to idd
otto suspicious Of me. PM doing m
very best for you; and however cd
my prescriptions and my rules seer
to you to be, believe me they are tn
safest possible"
Once more had a strange mo
mentary belief that the fellow, il
spite of his oddities, was honest, wa
sane; once more felt, in spite of facts
inclined to trust him. I suffered hin
to give me a cooling drink without in
sisting that he should, taste it first
and then went quietly to sleep.
I have learned SINCE that was de
hrious that night, and that was thel
alternately delirious and unconsciou
for two OF three days.
The first thing l remember was
girls voice, that seemed to come fror
a long way off, saying in whisper:
| Look, Dick, look. I bell eve he
waking up"
ITO he continual
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-05-13
Piles! Piles! Piles!

DR.. Williams Indian Pile Ointment
will cure Blind, Bleeding, liberated
and Itching Piles. 1t absorbs the
tumorS, allays the itching at once,
acts as a poultice, gives instant relief.
DR.. Williams Indian Pile Ointment
is prepared only for Piles and Itching
of the private parts, and nothing else.
Every box. is guaranteed. Sold by
druggists, sent by mail, for SOC. and
Sl.OO per box. WILLIAMS MFG Co.,
Props Cleveland, Ohio. For sale by
Shuttleworth Drug Co. 97yl
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23
THE WEEKLY

Published every Friday; eight pages,
containing a summary of the news OF the
ton being paid to state news. sent 70
any address, postage paid. for s1:00 for
one year; 10 cents for six months; 70 cents
for three months.
The Bismarck Tribune Is the Oldest
newspaper in the state-estabished June
III. 1873. It has a wide circulation and Is
a desirable advertising medium. Being
published at the capital Of the state It
makes a feature Of state news. OF a semi
official character, and is therefore par.lcu.
iarly interesting to all who desire TO keep
the run Of state affairs-political, sociaI
and business.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23
First publication June is, 1902.
T / TO

SEALED PROPOSALS for doing the public
- printing and binding for the State of North
Dakota in accordance with law, for the years
1903 and 1904, will be received by the Commits
sioners Of Public Printing until the 4th day of
August, 1902, at 2 o'clock p. m. Each proposal
shall state the class of work being bid for and
the rate per cent below the maximum rates sew
orally prescribed in section Al of the Revised
Codes Of 1899 at which the bidder will perform
the work and furnish the stock and supplies
required. Each proposal shall be addressed to
the Secretary of State, Bismarck. North Dakota,
and shall be accompanied By 9 bond executed
least two good and sufficient -spreties, ,satisfac:
tory to the COMMISSIONER, in the penal sum OF
four thousand dollars tS49oo0) conditional upon
the faithful performance, in accordance with
law, Of such class Of state printing as may be
adiudged to said bidder. No bid unaccompa.
MED BY such bond will be considered. and TIE
Commissioners will reject any and all bids
made by other than regularly established print.
ing and publishing houses, and the Commits;
sioners also reserve the right to reject any and
all bids IL deemed for the best interests. OF the
| state. All printing and binding is to be done
| only by printing and publishing houses in this
state which shall have been equipped and qnal
fled for doing the work bid for, for q period
not less than one year next preceding the date
3. 7. PORTER
H y. \. dMAekMhifHLEoaN,,
Commissioners OF Printing.
Bismarck, N. d. June 10. 1902.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23
A u

It was four-year-old Kent Jewett OF
Sparta, Wis, who, taking his first ride
in a railway train, and while standing
upon one of the luxuriously uphols-
tered seats in one of the home-comfort
sleepers on the sixty mile per hour
Pioneer Limited OF the Chicago, Mil
waukee & st. Paul Railway, that ex-
claimed, owing to the ease of a and
smooth roadbed: See the trees and
fences get away" Thus did a child
voice the feeling Of his elders who
travel over this old and reliable rail
way.-Farm Stock and Home.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23
Chr Bismarek Tribnnt.
By M. n. JEWELL.
THE DAILY TRIBUNE.

Published every afternoon. except Sun
day. at Bismarck, North Dakota: Is dellv-
30 cents per month, or Sc per year. The
daily sent to any address in the United
States and Canada. postage prepaid, 80
per year: So for six months; sl.oo 1or
three months.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23
WORK ON UPPER MISSOURI
CAPTAIN CHITTENDEN THINKS
CONGRESS INTENDS TO ADAM

VA AL
CONGRESS INTENDS TO ABAN-
DON IT.
Washington, July 22.-The abandon
ment of the improvement of the upper
Missouri river is foreshadowed in Cap
tain H. NJ. Chittenden's annual report,
which was made public today. Cap
tain Chirtenden says:
The discontinuance of the Missouri
river commission and the greatly re-
duced appropriations, as compared with
former years. for both upper and lower
river, indicate an intention on the part
of congress to abandon the river alto
gether in the near future. Inasmuch
as there will not be another river and
harbor bill for two years. and there
fore no need of present estimates for
congress tc act ON. such estimates are
omitted from the report. Before the
rendition OF the annual report for 1908,
the officer in charge will be prepared
to submit a comprehensive statement
of the conditions of the entire river,
annd the ACCESSIBILITY or non-advisa-
bility of further work. upon it.
Captain Chittenden reports that no
new work was done on the upper river
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23

The Grand Forks Herald has it that
w. +. Cochrane, formerly deputy state
superintendent, is a candidate for
states attorney in Burleigh county.
The Herald is in error. The formerly
deputy superintendent was w. M.
Cochran, and SO far as the Tribune
knows, he is not nov in the state.
". F. Cochrane lis a well known Bis
marck attorney and has been for many
years. h
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23

him anvil UP and there vas none owe
the meat saved. please sedle at ear
Hest convenience. the reason 1 have
not got enaea blanch is because Smith
the deapo name an Hillman the section
boss had nun and I asked Smith to get
mea one an he said he would but /
have waited toe weakes and he has not
got mea anea yet so | thote I would
rite to 70. 10Y ff this is not salts
facture statement please send me a
blanch an l will fill it out to your
rools."
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1902-07-23

from Sioux City to Stubs Ferry, be-
cause of the lack of appropriation,
such funds as were available being APP
piled to the maintenance OF the exist
ing works. He also reports that the
100000 appropriated in the last river
and harbor bill has not been allotted.
Commercial statistics accompanying
the report shows that the traffic be-
tween Sioux City and Fort Yates az
gregated 1902 tons of package and
bulk freight, s%ixty-four passengers and
11,O96 head OF cattle; between Fort
Yates and Fort Berthold, 21,292 tons
Of freight, 204 passengers and 153 head
of cattle, and between Great Falls and
Stubbs Ferry. 4sS passengers only.