The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

and the latter said:ts"If that servant !
had said ham, he would have been head |
less before tomorrow morning. 1t is ad- |
visnble not to notice caste rule when |
1t is needless to say the Quaker used |
his eyes and kept his mouth closed after |
this. Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
Teacher-Didn't you write this excuse !
for being late, yourself, Henry?
Eenry-Yes'm; but father told ME to |
write it for him.
Teacher-And he signed it?
Teac6'er-But I didn't know your faith
er's name was Henry:
Henry-Guess he must have forgot.
Teacher-I think it was you who for
got, Henry.-Boston Transcript.
Little Tommie had been put to bed
alone. 1t was upstairs, and the thunder
rolled and lightning flashed unmerciful- |
longer stand it and then his little night
e9wneG figure. appeared at the head of
the stairs.
' Ma he cried.
Eyes, my son. came the calm rcjoin-
der.
I'm afraid; ma. 1t thunders so and
I'm all alone"
go back to bed, Tommie,'' came his
mothers voice. "Don't you know moth
ing can hurt you"
Tommie went back to bed, but not to
stay.
Ma he cried again, and this time
the little figure Was half way down.
stairs.
"Tommie,'. called his mother. don't
You know | have told you nothing can
hurt you; God is always with your
Then, ma and this time there came
an audible sniff from the weeping Tom
mic, You come up and sleep with
colts.
Apropos of the late sudden rise of
the Schuykill, when half the Phila-
delphia stock yards were under deep
water, gentleman noticed a man boat
ing up the railroad tracks between the
sheds. Turning to an Irish railroad
contractor standing near, he asked:
thinK guess Ses so EHnE t. 100 af
ter his dead live Stock was the Celtic
reply ! o.
"Now, I rather pride myself Oh my
ability to read character" said the man
who was given to buying detective tales.
land vet why should l? 1t is really a
very simple thing-requires nothing but
close observatory: rOf instance, IL IL
very easy to tell mans occupation.
His facial expression, his actions, even
his dress, are stamped by his daily work.
You see that man sitting opposite us?
Well, I'm just as sure as. though he
had told me that he is barber"
You are mistaken" replied his friend.
That III man is :, butcher" ~,
detective. you never saw butcher With
slim, white hands like his.'
''Perhaps not" admitted the other,
but he is butcher just the same"
How do you know he ISL"
How do I know? Why, the scoundrel
Tom Gnspecting theaterr bill of "Paolo
'ow dyer pernounee these ere mines?
AIRY with all the modest condescension
of superior person-Well, I'm free to
admit amt much Of a French schol-
lard, but ! should say it were Pronounced
POLO and Frank Chester" O. cource
it's a kind O sportin' piece. Tom (satis-
ted)-Ah, / see.-London Punch
-;o:-
Capt. T. Bentley Mott, military at
tache Of the American embassy at Paris.
is a West Point graduate, and in after
years returned there as an artillery in
structor. Upon one occasion he was as
signed. as is often the case in summer,
to "show around" the visiting parents of
somewhere out VEST: h but tee obser rrou
and impressionable:: After tour of the
post, they Joined the crowd assembled
to witness evening parade-always an i'm
posing spectaclej The march past aroused
the mother of the cadet, to a high pitch
OF enthusiasm and ambition for her son.
"Ah.: SIR she exclaimed, turning to Capt.
Mott; Sab, sir, L shall not be happy until
my boy gets that proud position and
leads 'em all"' And she pointed in ad-
miration to the drum major. -
Parson (who has just arrived for the
first time at his new country living)-I
say, porter, my arrival seems to have
caused great deal of excitement in the
village. Porter Yes, sir; but it's nowt
to when the: dancing bear was here yes
terday.-Tit-Bits.
During school tea the other day a
kindly old doctor was regarding one of
the guests with evident alarm. TN
dismayed by the doctors glances, the
young scholar rapidly demolished plate
after plate of bread and butter and cake.
At last the doctor could stand it no
longer. Going up to the young rascal.
he said:
my boy, have you ever read any book
which would tell you what to eat. what
to drink and what to avoid?'
"Lor' bless yer, SIR" replied the young
gentleman, with his mouth half full Of
plum cake, Il don't want no book. WHY.
eats all l can, I drinks all 1 can, and
l avoids burstin' ."-Tit-Bit
Little BERTHE had been taught not to
ask for anything at meals. One day
poor BERTHE had been forgotten, when he
pathetically imputed:
DO little boys 60 to heaven when they
are starved to death ?''-Tit-Bits.
A country minister in a certain locality
took permanent leave of his congregation
in the following pathetic manner: 2
brothers and sisters, I come to saw
goodby. l don't think God loves this
church, because none> of you ever die.
don't think you love one another. be-
cause l never marry any of you. don't
think you love me, because you have
never paid my salary; your donations
are mo!dy fruit and wormy apples; and
by their fruits We shall know them.
Bothers,- l am going away to a better
place. l have been called to be chap