The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-03-03
UNCLE MINGo ON TILLMAN.
The Old Man Gives Lucid Account
of the whole Affair.

DE people is sho' habin' lot o fun
bout Tillman. remarked Uncle Mingo.
so dey is said the waiter, but
don't 'zacly understan' de rights OBJ
de controversy"
We'll" said Uncle Mingo, its de
mos miX-up business you ebber hear
bout, but I'll proceed to 'splain it to
you.
"One day vile Ben was talkin' cen
de Senate, McLaurin an anudder fell
Ter steal o.t for a little game o set
back cen ore o de Waitin' rooms. Vile
dey was pla5in' away, cen pop anud-
der Teller.
Say John, he say. youa better
stop dat game an come eenside; Pitch
fork Ben is gibin' you de debbil. He
say you done sol your vote to Mr.. Nc
Kinley for a parsonage.
so John he jump up, an run cen
de hall.
"Mr. Chairman he say, I amt
calm no names but dat one-eyed,
squint-eye sOn-of-a- pitchfork wot
'cuse me o sellin' my Wote for a par
sonage is a blank blank blankIty- blank
Ear'
Dat kin O. rile Ben, so he make for
John. right ober chalrs an tables an
all. John step out to meet him, an
dere dey was.
Den all de udder fellers clap dere
hans. an holler. 'Hooray! Pitch cen,
Ben! Go it, John! Git de gloves! Git
de gloves! / bet on Ben. l bet on John!
Go it! Pitch een."
Ben he hit out an PUNK John on
de jaw John lead out wild a right
handler an paste Ben good on de only
good eye he got. Den away dey gone.
dis one on de eye, dat one on de mout;
dis one on de nose, dat one on de jaw.
tell at las dey git separated.
Seems like dey got a rule cen &c
Senate dat all fightin' mus be did elder
wild gloves or wild guns or wild de jaw.
SO dey fin Ben an John was wiolatin'
de rules. an dey mus pologize.
Ben he up an say, I 'pologizes, but
wot l done was 'zactly right
John he up an say, / pologize. but
I'll do it agin, under de same succum-
stances
DE Senate say OATS a po' 'pology,
an dey stop DER wages for all two"
Dat was too bad" said the waiter.
SO it was said Uncle Mingo, but
de wuss is to come.
De President was gibin a big dim
ner to dat little six-foot-two Dutch
man, Prince Henry"
OATS de fuss wife man name
Prince | ebber hear bout" comment
ed the waiter.
Me too, - said Uncle Mingo: Il
knows Prince Jenkins, an Prince
Johnson az Prince Fields, an dey is
all niggers: but, anyhow. dis Prince
Henry is as wife as dey make 'em.
So de President. t'inkin' Prince Henry
would like to see some o de curiousi-
ties O. de country, had invited Ben to
de dinner. After de row. he sen for
m ~ one frfn ~
Bill, he say, L want Ben to stay
way from de dinner. He's bin un
one eve, an de udder all bung up; an
den deres dat big piece O. stickin plas-
ter all ODER his nose an de res oh his
face. He amt very hansome look
in objec, he say, an so l wish you
would ak him to make scuse for not
comm, an I'll 'cept de scuse an not
tink hard oh him for bein' absent
bill tell Ben, but Ben he say
Not much l won't stay away. no
Stree! Wy, he say. sense my wages
been stop, my meal ticket is all use
up, an | amt had a square meal cen
tree days. | has been libin' mostly off
de free-lunch counter he say, an
is lookin' forwards to dat same dinner
for a favorable opportunity to full up
once mo- he say. NH
wen de President hear dat, he fall
DaCk eeE MS chalr.
Goodness gracious me-! he say, dis
is awful! Fen dat case, he say, Ben
will hab SIGH a appetite dat dere won't
be grub 'nough for Prince Henry! But
I'll fix him
80 he call de boy wot answer de
do bell an say, Look here, Pete; if a
Teller comes here to dinner, a hungry
lookin' Teller wild only one eye an de
udder eye all bung up, an stickin plas-
ter on his nose wild a pitchfork for
walkin' stick, you tell him Use out an
begs to be scused.
''Cose dat make Ben madden dan eb-
Der. Seem like he had a nephew down
cen Carlina wot was gittin up a sode
to present to a officer who de President
'steem VERY high an de President
had been ak to make de speech, witch
he say he would be please to do. So
Ben tell de nephew, an de nephew tel
egraph de President his services would
not be required pom dat interestin' oc-
casion."
"Gee!" exclaimed the waiter; "wot
did de President say?''
He amt say nothin" said Uncle
Mingo: he is too sad; he don't tink
life is wort libing no mo-. Dey tink
his heart is broke"
Dem Carlina people is funny peo-
pie said the waiter.
20, dem fellers" said Uncle Min
go, don't blong to we-all class Wen
l say we-all." he explained with digni-
~ Il means de Kunnel an me- De
Kunnel frequent has de real Car'lina
quality gentlemens come to see him,
an l is mos generally oh de party
1t is true" added Uncle Mingo, can
didly. dat l always does de paddlin,'
but all de same, Wen l goes wild wife
folks. OATS de kim l goes wild. Dey is
altogether different from de pitchfork
crowd.
"But now" resumed Uncle Mingo
Ito cap de whole climax, l see dat
de Teller wot was to git de sode has
gone an git mad too; so he telegraph
de nephew to keep de rusty ole sode
for hisself."
"Wots he goin' to do wild it?" asked
the waiter.
Lord knows" said Uncle Mingo:
but if l was him. I'd SEN it on to Ben
so he could use it for a walkin' stick
stead o dat ole pitchfork
STOLE A SLOT MACHINE.