davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
SURGERY OF BIRDS AND BEASTS

They Evidently Have a Method of
Treating Their Wounds.
That wild birds and animals possess
knowledge Of surgery or something
that answers the purpose is well known
to those who are intimate with their
habits.
An example of this In small birds was
noted by an amateur naturalist last
winter. He shot specimen Of the
horned Lark. On going to pick up the
bird he was very much annoyed to find,
as he thought, that he had shot off one
Of its legs. But on closer inspection it
was developed that the loss was an old
one, the right leg being off from the
joint. The skin seemed to have been
drawn over the end of the stump and
had healed perfectly. The loss of this
leg must have inconvenienced the bird
considerably while on the ground feed
ing, but it certainly did not hinder it's
flying ability, for it was bowling along
in good shape when shot
That bird Of this size should survive
the shock and the attendant loss of blood
of such an injury is nothing short of
marvellous. And there is no accounting
for it, except that they have some
means Of treating such injuries.
Another case bearing on this was
that of a three-legged deer on Long ISL
and. He had been known by his track
for several years before his death
(Which, according to report, occurred
last season, although it is only rumor-
ed), and many Of the hunters had made
special attempts to kill this buck. The
loss Of the limb did not seem to inter-
fere in any way with his fieetness Of
foot, for he seemed able to distance the
best dogs on the island.
No one seemed to know how he had
lost his leg, but lost it he had, and any
one with even a crude knowledge of
anatomy must know that without treat
ment of some kind to stop the flow the
animal would have bled to death.
1t all goes to show, says the New
York Times, that our feathered and
furred friends of the woods have an eff
ficient Red Cross system Of their own.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Getting Even with Joe JEFFERSON.

Getting Even with Joe Jefferson.
On one occasion, just previous to
opening in one of the large Eastern cit.
les, Joseph Jefferson discharged his
property man, Bagley, for humiliating
him before a number of friends by IA
miliarly addressing him as Joey"
Bagley got drunk right away and that
night paid his way to the gallery to see
Mr.. jefferson present RIP Van Win
kle." The angry frau had just driven
poor. destitute Rip from the cottage
when Rip turned and. with world of
pathos. asked: Den haf no interest
in dis houses" The house was deathly
still. the audience half in tears. when
Bagley's cracked voice responded:
only 80 per cent. Joey-only so per
cent"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
In the Billyille District.

who's that laundering down the
road yonder?"
'Its Johnson-coming with his shot
gun. Run and meet him halfway and
tell him that his mans elected!-At-
lanta Constitution.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
A Judge.

Mrs. Noobride-Mr. Whiteoak had
some of my pie at the church fair last
night and he said it was very good
MIR. Noobride-Well now, that opin-
ion, coming from him, is worth some
thing; expert testimony. in fact. He's
in the leather business. you know
Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
In a Very Bad Way,

81 have been kept in the house for
three days." said Felt, with a felon
on one of my fingers"
81 know a man with fourteen hun
dred felons on his hands, and they do
not bother him much" said HIATT.
Fourteen hundred felons on his
hands? Who Is hep
"The warden at the State prison."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Distinction Defined.

May-Do you think one should marry
for love or for money?
Chaperon-My dear, love is an excuse
for marriage, but money is a justifica-
tion.-Stray Stories.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
To Select From.

She-The angels sent me ma two twin
babies last night.
He-Has she picked out the one she
wants yet?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
CASIMIR'S CHEF D'OEUvRE.
The Great Inventor of "Potage Ger
miny" Is to Retire.

miny" Is to Retire.
Some tears are reported to have
been shed by the gourmets of the
Paris boulevards on account of the in
tended retirement of a modern Vatel,
who for nearly half century has pre-
sided over the culinary department
of the Maison Doree. This famous
cook, Familiarity known as Casimir has
been so devoted to his business that
he has never seen Eiffel's tower. Casi-
mir laments the decadence of dining in
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Drew the Line at the Hole,

They were admiring the rattlesnake
In the zoo, and had been Informed that
it was much in need of live rats.
Twill he swallow a rat whole?" Ques-
toned one
NO." growled the keeper, 1--WE have
to take 'em out of the holes first
Stray Stories.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Not Enough Good Ones.

why do some people think it's
wicked to go to the theater?"
We'll, l suppose it's because people
who make practice of going so often
go to the bad."-Philadelphia Bulletin
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

man should save money, the less likely
he is to save it.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
One Opinion,
What's he

"What a sour Individual! What's he
growing about, anyway"
30! he complains that he hasn't got
what he deserved in this world"
81 should think he'd have cause to
rejoice on that account. t."-Philadelphia
Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Oldest Trade Processes.

The two oldest secret trade processes
now in existence are considered to be
the manufacture Of Chinese red, or
vermilion, and that method of inlaying
the hardest steel with gold and silver.
which seems to have been practiced
at Damascus ages ago, and is known
only to the Syrian smiths and their
pupils even to this day.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Easily Pleased.

Daughter, is your husband amia-
ble?"
''Well, ma, he's just exactly like pa;
Wien he gets his own way about every
thing he's just perfectly lovely."-Hei-
tere Welt.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Dried Peat for Fuel.

The Visland- -Bolmen Railway. in
Sweden, has made a satisfactory test
of dried peat as fuel for locomotives
without changing the fire bed
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
The Usual Procedure.

"What is the usual procedure in mar
rying an heiress?'
Tell the lady how much you love
her and tell her father how much you
oWe?"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
DANGEROUS TOLAUGH
ROYAL ATTENDANTS MUST CON-
MAND THEIR FEATURES.

Officer of the Car Lost $4,000 a
Year and High Position ON Account
of Inopportune Mirth-Kaiser Also
Is Touchy in This Regard.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

The wife who talks the least has the
best control over her husband.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

You just naturally hate to have some
people "sell" you.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Ambixuous

Am biSuOuS.
Bella-But why did you refuse him
II you loved him?
Dora-Well, you see, he said he
couldn't live without mo. and it aroused
my curiosity!-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Bobby-Did he come from heaven,
mamma?
Mother-Yes, Bobby.
Bobby-What's the matter; did he
make too much noise up there?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

His Friend-And you can't get
moneyed men to consider the matter?
The Promoter-No. Money talks, but
I've found it mighty poor listener
Puck
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
A Landuark.

Citiman-Yes, I'll be glad to run out
and see you sometime. What's your
number?
| Subbubs-Why-er-t houses In
Swamphurst are not numbered yet
Citiman-Wen. how win find you?
Subbubs-Turn to the left from the
| station. and walk down the road until
you come to the second big puddle. My
house is directly opposite.-Philadel-
phia. Press
The Spelling Fad.
Kind Lady-What Is your name, little
| girl?
Little Girl-My name is Name
M-a-y-m-e.
Kind Lady-And the name Of your
dog?
Little Girl-His name is Fido-P-hy-
doug -h!-Columbu Journal.
Her First Football Game.
She-It is a rough game, isn't it?
He-Why, yes; but you didn't expect
to see it settled by arbitration. did you?
| Puck
Precedent Established.
what makes you think she will mar
ry you?"
"She has married other men,"
Polite to Them.
Il understand that potatoes are very
| high in price," said Gummey.
Il should say they are" replied
| Chambers. "My boarding house keeper
never calls them anything else but
pommes de terre now"
Sure to Come Down.
Tom-Yes, we had quarreled, but I
| was determined to see her.
Dick-How did you manage It?
Tom-When l called told the maid
to say it was a society reporter who
wanted to see eher.-Philadelphia Press.
In New York.
els he rich?"
'Mercy, no! l don't suppose the poor
man could scrape up more than two or
three million to save his life."-Chicago
Record Herald
Her Idea.
Sally Gay-What is your idea Of a
hero?
Dolly Swift-A man who doesn't need
any mistletoe
Very Appropriate.
What did he get $500 back pension
| for?"
"Oh, he was shot in the back."-The
Smart Set.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Refreshing Modesty.

An unsuccessful candidate for q party
nomination being met by a friend the
morning following his disappointment,
the following conversation ensued:
Friend-Well, how do you like the
nominations?
Rejected Candidate-Excuse me, but
1 take no interest whatever in this elec-
ton.
Friend-No more do l, except to wish
that the best man may win.
Rejected Candidate-Well, he won't.
Friend-And why not, pray?
Rejected Candidate-Because he was
not nominated.-Boston Courier.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

II possible use only filtered rain water
in making a solution and you will be
surprised at the much better results you
will obtain.
plate, say one-sixteenth of an inch
deep, with pice of wax candle to pre-
vent frilling.
Those who find difficulty in using
brush for spotting pinholes in negatives
or prints, should try an ordinary wood
en- toothpick sharpened to a needle
point.
To dry plates In a hurry after fixing
and washing, lay the plate in alcohol
and let it remain two minutes. Rest
plate on one corner when taking 1t out.
1t will dry in few moments. Be sure.
however, that it is thoroughly washed
before putting in the alcohol
An English amateur, who stands
among the recognized leaders, has this
to say on hand camera pictures that is
interesting: 'Under-exposed and over
developed;' this is the true verdict
which should be pronounced on perhaps
three out of every four hand camera
negatives. The error of over-develop-
ment Is to large extent due to the
widespread but very misleading notion,
viz, that prolonged development will
bring out the details. To put this fine,
crusted, old delusion in other words, it
Is equivalent to saying that prolonged
development compensates for, or is
equivalent to, exposure. The hungry
school boy is sometimes told that the
thickness Of the bread compensates for
the thinness of the butter, a maxim
which sounds all right, but is not easy
to swallow"
All amateurs ought to do their own
developing. 1t Is really the most inter-
esting feature of picture taking. Any
one with intelligence enough to go in
when it rains can snap a shutter and
then take the plates or film to a pro-
fessional to develop. That is not learn
ing anything. and moreover it is expen-
sive. Do your own work. Get intimate
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Being daughters of Eve, young ladies
are Of course partial to twilight
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Parson-Why, JohE, what are you do
ing there?
John-It be too wet to work, zur.
Parson-Well, if it's too wet to work,
why don't you go home?
John-Well, my old oman, she do
law so!-Punch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
His Task Well Done.

THAT missionary" remarked the
king of the Cannon Ball Islands as he
polished off the last rib, lis what l
would call a finished scholar"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Try rubbing around the edge of the
plate, say one-sixteenth of an inch
deep, with a pice of wax candle to pre-
vent frilIing.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
All Surprised.

Bessie-I was surprised when Mr..
Dashleigh asked me to marry him.
Tessie-Everybody else was.-Ohio
State journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Prominent People.

us your family prominent in the
neighborhoodw
"Well, 1 guess! My fathers in Jail,
me little sister broke her arm, an got
de mumps."
Giving Him the Turn-Down.
He-Now, don't bother to help me on
with my coat.
She-It's no bother. It's pleasure
Town Topics.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World OverSayinxs that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Young-Funny Selec-
tions that Everybody Will Enjoy.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Not Collateral.
She-Why do people borrow


ChOlly-She called me a crank.
Miss Pepprey-The idea! That's ri
diculous. A crank is usually a person
with one eidea.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
tere Welt



the bureau Of information?
Clerk-Yes, miss.
She-Well, can you tell me where l
can buy pink corded silk cut on the
bias?
Clerk cannot.
She-Well, do you know where Marie
Smith lives? I've lost her address. 1
think her father is in the pickle bust
ness.
Clerk don't know.
She-Well, what do you know? I'll
have you reported to the president of
the road-this very day, so there!
Cycliss-You must be an expert rider
by this time?
Pedall-Well, 1 rather fancy l am.
Knocked a man down at the crossing
to-day.
Cycliss-Well? don't see the point
Pedall-Don't you? If hadn't been
an expert rider 1 should have lost my
nerve and dismounted.-S Stories.
Not Collateral.
She-Why do people borrow trouble
so much?
He-O, because they never have to
put up any security, suppose.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Those who find difficulty in using a
brush for spotting pinholes in negatives
or prints, should try an ordinary wood
en- toothpick sharpened to a needle
point.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

A Guarantee and Promise.
"Do you guarantee this goods not to
fade?"
Absolutely! And If it does we will
sell you new goods to match the
changed color."-Indianapoli News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Two Hurry Calls.

Little Freddie-Please, Mr.. Druggist,
papa wants a bottle Of liniment, and
mamma wants a bottle of china ce-
ment right away.
Druggist-All right. What's wrong?
Freddie Mamma hit papa with the
sugar bowl.-Baltimore American
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

If possible use only filtered rain water
in making a solution and you will be
surprised at the much better results you
will obtain.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Her First Football Game.
She-It is rough game isn't it?
He-Why, yes; but you didn't expect
to see it settled by arbitration, did you?
Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Precedent Established

Precedent Established.
what makes you think she will mar
~ your"
"She has married other men,"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

"John," she said. do you think you
can afford new gown for me?"
He looked at her sharply.
"Have you ordered it?" he asked.
Eyes"
''Then," he said, with sigh of resig-
nation, ST can afford it"-Chicago Post.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17

Sally Gay-What is your idea Of a
hero?
Dolly Swift-A man who doesn't need
any mistletoe PUCK.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
In New York.

"Is he rich?"
Mercy, no! don't suppose the poor
man could scrape up more than two or
three million to save his life."-Chicago
Record Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
Very Appropriate

very appropriate
What did he get $500 back pension
for?"
"Oh, he was shot in the back. The
Smart Set.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-01-17
The Spelling Fad.

Little Girl-His name is Fido-P-hy-
d-o-u-g-h!-Columbus Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1902-07-25
TO FIGHT MORGAN.
Canadian Pacific VIII Put on
Fast Steamer Service.

London, July 25.-The announcer ent
from Montreal that the Canadian Pa
cific had at the request of the Canadian
ministers now in London offered to es-
tablish and work weekly fast service
between Quebec and Liverpool in the
summer and between Halifax and
Liverpool in the winter with a good
freight service, is causing considerable
stir in England, where it is being hail
ed with delight as being an offset to ].
Pierpont Morgan's shipping combine.
The evening papers have flaming pla-
to fight the American trust" etc.
The officials of the Canadian Pacific
railroad here deny that they have any
such intention, but they as well as
others believe that the long discussed
Canadian fast service is finally ap-
cation of this is the fact that the offer
was made by the Canadian Pacific rail-
road at the instance of the Canadian
ministers now here and that they were
fully aware of the conditions the i'm
perial government is prepared to accede
to.
Lord Strathcona and Mount Royal,
the Canadian high commissioner, In an
interview said today:
While am unable to add to the
information already published, the
terms m entioned seem reasonable and
probable. The members of the Domin-
ion government some months ago were
authorized by the Canadian parliament
to offer a subsidy Of E150,00o for this
purpose. So far as I know this offer
has not been increased. The reported
subsidy Of f260,000 shows an advance
over the original offer, but 1t has always
been understood that Great Britain
would supplement Canada's offer,
though I am not saying to what ex-
tent"
The Topeka state journal., 1902-07-25
MESSENGERS STRIKE.
Western Union Offers $40 a
. Month For Men.

Chicago, July 25.-The messenger boys
of the Illinois District Telegraph COM
pany, which delivers under contract the
business of the Western Union. struck
today. According to an official the boys
made no demand and their grievance is
unknown. The same company also looks
after the local delivery service of the
Postal Telegraph company and the boys
at the latter's office struck out of SYM
pathy. The Western Union company are
Offering $40 a month to men to deliver
messages to avoid an interruption of
their business.
The greatest Inconvenience caused
by the strike was on the floor of the
board of trade. The striking boys met
today and formed the Chicago Messen-
ger Boys union with a membership of
150, and at once called a strike of its
members. Organizer Fitzpatrick of the
Chicago Federation of Labor organized
the union and has asked for a charter
from the American Federation of La
bor.
The Topeka state journal., 1902-07-25

VERY bad mana How mAAy lies haf
you told todayY'
'sNot one"
do you mean - tell ne dot you
don't lie about dot Ashg'
Not one lie. buy him on der mar
ket, und I tell eafery one 60. nefrer
see my sign dot cannot tell He?'
''vhell, it vhas deception" he says
How can 1t bey'
1T makes no deeference. Any one
can see dot you vhas a hardened
wretch. und my society vhill do well to
keep an eye on you. If vhant some
work done, don't come by your shop.
Nopody but Z william vhill buy a fish
und hang him oop und make people
stop und look"
shust get one customer all day long.
He vhas q fat mans NIT q bald head.
He comes In smiling und shakes hands
und says:
"It vhas good Of you, cobbler, very
good"
"How vhas it good?'' says.
dot dsh- You can't lie about him."
mo"
"He vhas No whaieg'
"No."
HE don't pull two men into der wa
ter nor smash q wharf all to pieces NIT
his tail? He don't tow q steamboat
three miles nor sink yacht"
mo"
HE vhas shust Z fish mitout a histo-
ry. und you vhas an honest mans, und
so you fix oop my heels, und shall buy
some beer besides. Cobbler, always re-
member dot virtue vhas her own re-
ward und dot if you try to make me
pellet dot fish vhas q peacock you lose
q cash customer"