The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-08-27
LATEST STORIES TOLD
 ABOUT LORD KITCHENER

been reported, but it is a fact that Gi- rouards "cheek" did not prevent Lord Kitchener from selecting him to be chief of the railways in South Africa. And when one thinks of his railway work during the war he cannot help commend Ing his selection.
 A good instance of Kitchener's laconic style of speech was that made to his of- ficer who, after struggling vainly to get an artillery train through roads that were almost rivers of mud came to Kitch- ener.
 ''It is no use general" he said. i've are so deep in mud that we cannot move our heavy guns another mile, and the Boers will get them for certain"
 Kitchener looked at this worn-out and discouraged officer for a moment, then quietly said. "Go on with your work. but don't forget that the mud is not only clogging our wheels, 1t Is clogging the Boer wheels as well.
 Kitchener's scathing sarcasm Is we'll illustrated by the reply he Is said to have sent to the leader of a not oversuccessful column. This officer had several slight engagements with the enemy. mainly consisting of fiinging few shells at them at long range After each engagement he wired to the commander-in-chief sub stantially: During action several Boers seen to drop from their saddles"
 The thing was becoming tiresome, for Lord Kitchener's rule was that only those actually "gathered' should be counted He soon thought of a remedy, and sent back to the officer this polite telegram: T hope when they fell they did not hurt themselves"
 This reminds one of the answer Kitch- ener sent to a certain nobleman, whose son was serving in the yeomanry. Kitch- ener's detestation of the "pIaytime" sort of warfare indulged in by certain officers is well known. One cannot imagine Lord Kitchener as regarding anything more important than war. Therefore, when tho nobleman in question, with a large idea of his own importance, sent this wire: "Please allow my son to return at once; urgent family reasons" Kitchener an- swered it laconically: Son cannot return at all; urgent military reasons"
 Here Is a story showing the South African commander-in-chier in another light. There was in the royal engineers private of exemplary character, who one day reported himself i'll and unfit for duty. The medical officer of the corps examined him, decided that the man was maingering. and ordered him back to duty. Against this there was no appeal. The soldier returned to his work, which was preparing blanks for a temporary bridge. He found himself too weak to work, and said so to the sergeant
 "Why not lay the case before Lord Kitchener said the sergeant, The Is in the office now"
 "Oh, I dare not" replied the man, The is too stand-off and cold"
 "Well. if you are afraid. I'll do it my self" and he did.
 "Order the man here at once" said the commander-in-chief. without looking up, land also DTS. Y. and K" Each of these he made examine the patient in his pres- ence. They both reported typhoid in a marked stage.
 Send for Dr. z." muttered Lord Kitchener.
 Please, Dr. D. examine this man care- fully; he Is either i'll or malingering." Dr. z. performed the commanded task. and nervousy said: "Sir, I fear I have made mistake; this man is in the early stages of typhoid
 Have this man at once removed to the hospital" came in cold, passionless tones, ''and you, sir, apply to the adjutant for | your papers, and at your earliest con