Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15


and then pointing to an olcloth black
board which stood in one corner Of tn
room and on which vas written the bill
OF fare. including everything from pigs
feet to pie At the price Of s cents a por
uon, the secretary said without a smile.
"Gentlemen, what DO you prefer? TAX
anything on the list, the price is all tn,
same"
Some took pigs feet and some took pie
and Il was q merry luncheon party, and
many more gathered in the same place and
under the same circumstances while Mr.
Morton was at the head Of the Agriculture
department
Mr.. Morton bad a good-natured contempt
for the various scientists Of the depart
ment and amused himself for q long time
and scared them nearly cut OF their boots
BY calling on them for detailed speeihca-
tions in writing on the nature Of their du-
ties and exact statements Of what they
accomplished, which. Of course. it was i'm
possible for them 70 produce. He would
say TO one scientist. for Instance.
Why does your once exist What IL il
that you are supposed to know or to do?''
And when told he would at once say:
Demonstrate TO me that you ever attain
the results aimed at"
OF course. the scientist never did succeed
il convincing him, but he did not remove
them. finding that It would be practically
impossible to abolish the scientific bureaus,
even IL their uselessness was conceded.
Exponent of seIf-HeIP.
Mr.. Morton was a farmer, q hard-vorking,
practical, experienced tiller OF the soil.
He believed in the farmers and in helping
them. but he was opposed to chasing rain
bows at the gevernment's expense and sub
sidizing one class Of the citizens at the eK-
pense OF all other classes.
He knew It was as impossible TO ersdi-
cate the thistles from the farms Of the
vest as Il was to stop the tides OF the
ocean. and he told congress so over and
over again. But that did not prevent the
lawmaking body from spending money for
the purpose. The money is gone now. but
the thistles remain Just as Mr.. Morton
said they would.
Mr.. Morton did not care what a mans
surroundings OF antecedents we're so long
as he was honest and ~efhcient and could
do what he professed to do. This charac-
~teristic was shown by his attitude toward
a young man whose father worked in the
department. who displayed soms ability as
a sculptor.
The secretary allowed him to make a
bust Of him one day. and when it was done
everybody said that 1t was a ereditable
work Of art and a faithful portrait. Mr..
Morton thought so, too, snd~no one could
ever after convince him that that young
man was lot as much Of a sculptor as IL
he had studied in Rome for twenty years.
He placed the bust on exhibition and
praised it on every possible occasion. He
said that II he had put on It the name Of
the Creates sculptor living nobody would
have known the difference.
On one occasion a clerk who had seen
long service in the Agricultural depart
ment was dismissed on charges Of incom-
potency and all Of the influence Of the mem
oers Of the state central committee OF a
great western state, backed up by two
United States senators, could not get her
reinstated. A common friend, however,
TO the secretary one day
the woman had been emoved on
trumped-up charges brought against her
by her chief Of division. Without leaving
his desk the secretary started an investiga-
ton and at 2 o'clock the next morning the
clerk was back at her desk and she is there
today.
The "POOr woman Dodge.
On one occasion a most influential and
wealthy republican senator induced Secre-
tary Morton to appoint a woman who be
said was extremely worthy and deserving
and was the sole support of an aged mother.
The senator did not know her personally,
but she was recommended to him by people
his own state in whom he had great
confidence.
A few days afterward the secretary was
asked to step into the room to take a look
at the poverty-stricken woman and found
her to be a buxom and fashionably dressed
young woman Of great personal attractive
ness, who treated her fellow clerks with
supercilious disdain. she wore more jewels
could be purchased by a government
clerks salary in q year. The secretary
wrote a note 10 the senator asking him TO
step over to the department and then said:
Senator. l have seen the poor, deserving
woman recommended to you by your con-
stituents, and II you will just step into the
next room where the clerks are at work I
Will Introduce you 10 her"
''Oh. no. no." said the senator hastily.
Il don't wish to meet her. I guess she's
all right. I'll see her some other time"
But you ought 10 see her" said the
shes worth looking at Her
rags have turned to satin and her tear
drops to diamonds. she has been trans
formed from a Cinderella to a princess
since being recommended TO you by your
Won't you let me present
you to herr"
Morton" said the senator solemnly. as
he rose in some confusion to 60, and as
an air OF injured innocence, Nor
ton. remove her; I have been imposed
upon"
As the senator went out Of the door the
ehuckled and said 20 himself:
Yes. I'll remove her. but l guess / was
the fellow who was imposed upon"
LABOR AND INDUSTRY.