Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1902-11-14

Pat-Did they shake hands when
they met? Mike-No; they shook their
fists.
Have they been In society long?"
"OnIy about week. "Hows that?p
Before that they called their chef a
cook"
HE has a picture of his sweetheart
inside his watch Indeed Well, he
looks so happy lately, 1 though there
must be woman In the case"
Church, see the definition of a gen.
tleman is one who never gives pain.
Gotham don't suppose my dentist
would like 1t IL | told him that.
invalid understand 1t is quite dry
out here. Broncho Willlam-Dryg
Why, stranger, It's SO dry here thar
the rain is wet only on one side.
so the engagements OFF," Yes.
she advised him to practice economy
and he started In by getting her an lmi.
tation diamond. Detroit Free Press.
Wife-Really, she's the worst gosslp
In the neighborhood. Why, heard this
morning that She Husband-Come.
now, don't try to beat her at her own
game,
A Common Variety: Young Doctor
Which kind of patients do you find II
hardest to cure? Old Doctor-Those
who have nothing the matter with
them.-Judge.
Were you much embarrassed when
he kissed your mo. l was brighten.
ed, though" How so?' II told him
to stop, and for a moment thought he
was going to-"
Beetem-Pshaw! l must have $50 by
noon to-day, and | left all my money at
home In my other clothes Can't you
help me out? Wiseman-Sure! I'll
lend you carfare to go home for it.
What care for gold or silver?" said
the proud beauty. Your sentiments are
eminently practical" answered Miss
Cayenne. Get some steel or copper
stock and the gold and silver will take
care Of themselves"
Summer Hotel Proprietor (proudly)-
Nearly all my walters are college men
who are working their way through
college. Guest-Well, judging by the
way they work your guests, they'll
all be graduated with honors.
The Status.-Mare-'1 have an en-
gagement with Cholly, and l don't
know how to get out of It," Helen
Haven't you any reason for breaking
it?" Marie-"Yes, l have a reason
Cholly is the reason-but want an ex.
use."-Puck su
rs there any profit in selling postage
stamps?" inquired the man In search Of
information. Not directly" replied the
druggist; but 1t gets people into the
habit of going to the drug store, and
after that 1t doesn't take long TO make
chronic invalids of them3'-Puek
Mrs. Goodsole--Why, Johnny, are
you just going home nova Your moth
er's been looking for you all afternoon.
Johnny-Yes IN, know. Mrs. Goodsole
Just think how worried she must be.
Johnny-Oh. she's near the end O. her
worryin'. I'm just beginnin' mine.
Gracious" exclaimed Mrs Newli-
wed. examining the window-sash.
Something has been gnawing at this
woodwork" Yes; | noticed that" re-
piled her husband "A little dormouse,
perhaps; there are lots of them around"
"A dormouse? But this is on the win
SASH
No so Dislnterested: Biggs-I had
no idea old Graspit was Il phllanthro-
pist until | saw him circulating petit
ton yesterday for the purpose of rails
ing money to enable poor widow to
pay her rent. Dggs-Oh, Grasplts all
right lie OWNS the house the poor
widow lives in.-Chicago News.
certain Dyersburg woman assured
her husband she never told him lie
and never would. He told her he didn't
doubt 1t, but would hereafter cut
notch In the piano when he knew she
deceived him. NO, you WON'T she
screamed. I'm not going to have my
piano all ruinedr'-Tennesse State Ca
zette.
Examining class of children, a patrl'
archal gentleman asked for the names
of some of the islands near England.
There was a dead silence, and to help
the scholars-himself thinking of tina
Isle of Mamie remarked, encourage
ingly: Can you think of any places
where no women are allowed, only
mem" Instantly girl held up her
hand: please, sir, the Scllly Isles"
Weary Willie and his friend FroWsy
strolling along the seashore stop be-
fore sign reading: Notice! oath
Ing Is Dangerous. Quicksands.
Weary Willie-J,ere, Frowsy: deres
true pub. c spirit for yer. don't know
who dat Teller Quicksands is, but mes
got de right idea NV things an anu
afraid to say 80, an IL he wuz here IL
take off me hat to him. '-Leshes
Weekly.