The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-03-09
ACTORS as FARMERS.
Dan Collyer's Two Famous Trained
Donkeys.
lBoston HeraId'J

At St James Ca little town on Long
island) where so many Of the actor
colony have bought tiny, wOuld-be
farms, each gentleman farmer has MS
own precOnceived ideas about farming,
and the result is that the Outgo is most
expensive, and, as the late Henry Ward
Beecher once said, 1T costs more 10
drink a glass of milk on those farms
than a glass of champagne
Dan Coilyer Charlie BigeloW ana
many other actors have located there,
and keep open house all through the
summer. One day Dan invited Watty
Hydes (the well known musical direc-
tori down to stay over Sunday with
him. and on the train they met num-
Der of "Thespians," who were talking
excitedly as Dan entered the car, so,
of course, he drew near to listen, Just
as Charlie Bigelow said: I tell you,
there is something radically wrong
about my farming q only speak for
myself. because I can send 10 Phiia-
delphia. buy a Capon, pay the express
/ age on it. and all. and then it viii not
{ cost me as much as a plain garden
variety Of chicken that 1 raise right
( here on my place. Now, who can rem
edy this?"
Dan quickly answered I can, my
/ boy. and while I did intend to keep my
plan under cover, if you will promise
not to adopt it I viii let you in.
/ Charlie"
/ Mr.. Bigelow promised faithfully not
! TO infringe, and Dan thus elUcidated:
/ Il know where you all make your blum
ders, for you only set the hens when
J your season closes in the spring, and
doing this only a certain time of the
! year makes the fowl blamed lazy. Now,
my plan is this, and it is a cOrker-
{ 1 am going to buy a dozen OF any kind
+ of old hens and three or four barrels of
cold storage eggs, and then all winter
long. while 1 am out on the road
/ 'trOOping it, my hired man will be
right down here at st. James raising
I chickens by the dozen, and when you
guys come in at the close of next sea-
son you VIII find your Papa COllyeT
prepared To not only furnish Long IS
land with all the chickens necessary,
but. III all likelihood able to help out
the New York market
Watty then remarked: Il should
think an incubator would be less tr0u-
BILE. as well as cheaper, than your
PLAN" but Dan Indignantly replied.
NO stree. no incubatOrs for me, fOI
I feel that even d poor little chicken
is entitled to a mother.
One Of the listeners then quietly re-
marked. Tell Watty about your two
famous donkeys. Dan"
Dan puffed up with pride at this re-
quest as ne said; Now you're talking
for there are the two cIeverest animal.
ever, and no money could buy them
One I call Original and the othei
Imitation flor reasons PATENT. and
when we get down To St. James Vol
, will see these two pets of mine wait
ing to meet me. just for all the worl,
like two dogs"
When the train arrived, Dan, with
wink, pulled out two red apples, an,
as he aliShted from the car sur
enough there stood meekly. side b,
side, Dams sleepy-looking pets. evi
IDENTIFY looking for their master. bu
I more than likely for anything that h
might have brought them To eat
Dan then revealed his little joke &
be played on the unsuspecting ami
mails, for ne had plugged" two apple
] and then carefully filed the holes Wit
1 cayenne pepper.
Putting his hands behind his bac
leach hand containing the warm apple
! ( Dan drew near 70 the animals Will
E he began to make pools with himsel
as TO the probable outcome of the JOKE
and ne had not long to wait. elthei
I for Original walked up. gave On
sniff at the apples. and wheeled sud
: denly, sending both feet out with sue
+, true aim that poor Dan landed aboU
4 five rods away in a mud puddle Or
: fortunately. ne sat there q moment
4 collect his scattered senses. for lit
Imitation, true to her name rushe
e I'D and finished what her compani0
2 had begun. so effectuauy than N
; astonished onlookers had difficulty
u ! resuscitating him.