New-York tribune., 1902-03-26
THE JoToUs SORROWS OF ABE.


The Hon. Abraham Gruber has made another
good business stroke. Ex-Governor Black and
ex-Judge Olcott must find him a valuable bust
ness partner. He understands the art of at
tractive advertising. The world may laugh
with Abe and at him. but it does not forget
him. His is the happy faculty, not necessarily
of saying things reasonable, but always of
saying things picturesque. He touches moth
ing which he does not adOrn with phrases strik-
ing, If not true. In fact, Abe does not expect
them to be thought true. Abe would rather
have the boys" 'whOOp it up for him a
good fellow than gain a reputation for serious
craftsmanship with thoughtful people. 1t pays
better and is vastly more entertaining. Those
who have heard Abe once will always be glad
to hear him again. for there is not a more
amusing speaker in the self-advertsing busi-
ness in New-YOrk. He always has his Convic-
tiOns at the command of his OratorCal neCessi-
ties and the hearer who does not agree with
what he says has as little reason for solemn dis
approval has the theatregoer for kissing the
villain in the play.
There are some unsophisticated persons who
always do think the actor who plays the villains
part bad man. So some people when they
hear Abraham passing sentence on respectable
things in public speeches think he really wants
TO change them, but that is only because they
are green TO the art of oratoTical exaggeration.
The Hon. Abraham, for instance was invited
10 make a statesmanlike speech on Monday
night in Brooklyn, and some persons on reading
the speech might be led 10 believe that Abra-
hams soul was on fire with indignation over
the results Of the ant-Tammany victory. He
denounced Mayor Low for making possible the
entrance Of the Pennsylvania Railroad into this
city, he bewailed the Republican party's sur
render Of manhood to join in the fusion
movement, and poured out the bitterness of his
anti-Civil Service reform soul.
Now, people who do not know Abe may be
inclined to think that this indicated a serious
purpose on the upper West Side TO antagonze
the city administration. They may think that
Abe does not know the entire reasonableness
of making exception to the general rule Of
twenty-five year franchises 10 secure an inter
urban railroad terminal, which no company
would build or could afford TO build subject 10
possible forfeiture in a few years. They may
think that Abe really regrets the accomplish
ment of fusion, and wishes that Tammany had
been left in power. as it would have been had
he and his party retained their manhood"
But they are wrong. The Oratorlcal temper
must be taken into account Abe had TO make
a speech to a political club Doubtless his audi
ence was partly composed OF men who were in
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to say striking things to please them, and he
did it. Those to whom Mr.. Low had not given
office would naturally enjoy a laugh at his ex-
pense and clap the suggestion that the "organi-
zation" ought to have maintained its man
! hood and fought for plunder; therefore Abe,
in search for things to keep them awake and
make them remember that lawyers who had
the good taste TO associate themselves with so
amusing person must be good men to consult
in time OF need, naturally paid his compliments
10 fusion and its results. 1t made them feel
good and did nobody else any harm
AS a matter of fact Abe is probably pretty
well satisfied with the results of the last elec-
ton. Doubtless a little more patronage could
be conveniently distributed by him. and for
years Abe has cherished an opinion of the
merit system unexpressble except in his own
gorgeous phrases. Nevertheless Abe is very
comfortable. His clever sayings arouse laugh
ter sweet TO the ear the sun of prosperity
shines upon him, and IN due time he will ride
under the Hudson River in peace and satisfac-
ton while he tells stories to admiring
friends. Long may he prosper to enliven dull
times with his joyous walls of sorrow.