The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-02-09
FUN OF THE WORLD.


husband down a narrow country lane.
when. on suddenly turning a sharp ccTnsr
they encountered a brewers van. ? here
usss no room 10 pass, and the lady said.
very Fartly.
You must so back. for I shall not
You ought 10 have seen Us before en-
sering the lane"
But. MY dear demonstrated her hus-
hand mildly. ''the man couldn't SCI around
the corner.
Il don't care. Vas the characteristics
reply. III ST here TIL Doomsday before
1 give way TO that man
The carter. vho had overheard the col
Ioquy. here remarked cheerfuily,
AN right. guy nor. III back out Of
this adding conhdentially. I've SGT
such another at home
Two gentlemen once attended tenn
perauce meeting. and. on returning home
by a dark and narrow lane. we're thrown
out Of their conveyance. The incident
was reported II a local paper. and the
announcement said that fortunately both
men We're sober.
The editor received an angry Protest
from one OF the gentlemen concerned.
with 3 request Tor an apology He was
equal 10 the occasion.
In our account Of the unfortunate ac-
we stated thar fortunately. both men
wore sober. Il appears this staten emit
has given great onense. We. Therefore,
beg TO withdraw it.
gs gs
Mr.. Martin was talking az the dinner
table. In his usual clever manner. ahoat
the inconsistency OF women.
These young ladies that protest that
they are never going to marry he
broke out. Everybody knows that they
viii belle their own words az the hrst
opportunity
He paused. and evidently hoped that
Mrs. Martin would come home 20 the
rescue Of her sex; but that discreet wo-
man held her tongue.
why, Mary" he continued. you re-
member how Il was with yourself ! have
heard YOU say more than once that YOU
Wouldn't marry the best man alive.
well I didn't said Mrs. Martin.
x
Before the civil war Wendell Phillips,
the distinguished abolitionist. went -
Charleston. and put UP at "A hotel. Re
had Breakfast served in his room. and
was waited upon by slave Mr. Phil
lips seized the opportunity TO represent
10 the negro in a pathetic way that he
REGARDED him as man and a brother.
and more than that. that he himself WIS
an abolitionist The negro, however.
seemed more anxious about the breakfast
than he was about his position in the
social scale or the condition Of his soul,
and finally Mr. Phillips became discour-
aged and told him to so away. saving
that he could not bear 20 De waited On
by a slave "Ycu must scuse me. messa,
said the negro; Il is 'biiged 20 STAY here
cause I'm responsible for de silverware."
x < Z z
out in Prairie du Chen. Wis. lives an
old German. now past 50. who Tor years
has been in the hotel business. The old
gentleman is very fond or card piaying
and pitch" is his fsvorite game
one day n couple o. years ago Iarty
was sitting about a table PLAYING ard
lust as the cards had been deaie and
sortesl ana il was Up 10 the cid gentleman
to bid for The trump, G hoy rushed into
the Office and in great excitement said
the barn was on fire.
without showing the least perturbation
the old gentleman turned 10 him. and the
following conversation took place.
Did you get out the horse!
Yes
Did YOU get the ouggy OUT
wei" turning to the players. 'I'n bid
three.
During school tea she other Gay a
kindly old doctor was regarding ore Of
the yourg guests with evident alarm.
Indismayed by the doctors Stances. the
Young scholar rapidly demolished plate
after plate Of bread ard butter and cake.
At last the doctor could stand it no
longer. Going up 20 the young rascal. De
said,
MY boy. have Won ever rad any book
which would tell Won what % Cat what
to drink and what 70 svoid2'
"Ior bless yer. sir replied THE young
gentleman. wita lis mouth haif fnr or
plum cake n cont want no book. Why.
I eats ali I can. Z drinks an ] can. and
/ avoids barstir'
Ezg
Mrs Pat Campbell was the chief guest
~ q recent dinner az which several fnner-
Jean actresses were invited ~ meet her-
Among these the most eminent was AM
NE Russell who sat almost directly OPP
posite Mrs Campbell 40 the larEc round
table.
Presently there was a lur in the con
varsation and Mrs. Campbell leaned for
ward
"ffave Won ever acted IN England. Miss
Russfl2" sire asked sweetiy.
The other guests looked at one another
significantly Had not Mrs. Russell been
called the E1rl IN Duse after Der triumph
in London only two wears agoi
Yes" ehc sad IN reply 20 Mrs. Camp
bcn's question. y PLAYED Tor two sea-
sors ir London
Indeed" iefoined Mrs. Campbell. as y
she was pleased 20 hear that Hiss RlEseii
was getting on 50 wei And I wonder
II saw yq.
This conversation when VAS carried
on in tones audible 20 40 thl-oshfr guests.
fascinated fhern ne sf-s Campbell was
50 perfectly frank in her ufter ignorance
~ Misc BasseHs career ard her ie'lea
1iiss Russell was ouite as dcm.tc as
usral unacr tie ordeal.
Yes SITS Rlssei answered. 'y0u raw
me. Somebody told me that you nr
sitting in one 30 the boxes when Z vas
arrin- IT. See s. Ifs0kel ~ F0H you
scr. q was i1fer-rfef iu The EHgiith arr
resses Vho had made a reputation. -
Temem5c- y0n in the box esen-evfn u
yon did forget nc ou tte Stage
Suddenly ever, guesr 81 fhe tabs foe
it % %. nis duty rs tsfE laierestefiv -
his uc.Ehbor on sofae ~shiett g. tHzs
~ conversation lIlee the raercc that
might have followed AIRS RUSSELL iftie
szzz
Tie great iavrer tHe rreat Democrat.
and Grsff man samuel 7. rider ha1
fo1ch ~ huraCr. ard st ot1er tfrff -
cogIa Be frnlv without rrsankaT - -.
Ele WAS ga expert I11re ~ H-cf aai
rfa r.H-r vas ehoirair 9taeEHl 81 hNu
dlrlrr cus lorfsfr. Ec f-I 4fle
- use7errir- Dr ffe taste ara erltfiE
acce-6tnRly- Jrc late 1ahg ~ tHc3
reted this frstf aa oare ~1er eaE
r.tn r.. Tlaan s-lN taat 80 H ff
sage ~ Creysfo1e bad ORDERS
"a. .sH