The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-10-10

+: Caskcts of Every Design. :
Open Day and Night. !:
"Brcr Will'ums, how you gwine ter
vote dis fall:'
Il amt gwine ter vote, 70 hear me-"
''I<ase dis ting oh er 'telligence cullud
patrit exercising de universal sudridge
fer de prices whit am offer'd desc days
am beneaf my condignity an reference
Now. yo' hear me, don't yo'?"-Atlanta
Constitution.
The carriage builders of London are
now ending what has proved to be the
most prosperous season they have ever
known. Nearly every coroneted coach
house required to be refurnished with
state coach, so long had it been since any
great pageant had been performed. A
state coach is rather an affair Of crochets
in any case; and some curious letters
have passed between peers and their car
riage builders in regard, among other
things, to the size of the emblazonings on
the panels. The raciest letter, however,
quoted as III the possession Of one coach
1t was written on behalf Of a great lady
by an aide-de-camp: Lady will be
much obliged if you will kindly varnish
her. She thinks only one side wants
doing, but will be glad if you will send
and see.' He had merely omitted the
Important word 'carriage. london
One evening at supper little Lester said
to his grandmother:
"Grandma. do your glasses make things
look bigger?"
Yes. dearie.'' said grandma. "Why?'
"Oh!' said Lester. Il only thought il
they did. may be you'd better take 'enl
off when you're cutting the cake. Helen
H. Pretl, in Little Chronicle.
An attorney from Houston, Tex.,-J.
D. Bryant-tells this story Of Judge Roy
Star state, who is known better as ''The
Law West Of the Pecos River"
He held a coroner's inquest on a Mexi-
can who had been found dead near the
Pecos river. The jury brought i'll YER
dict of accidental death. The crowd
VAS was dispensing aad'e when the judge called
There is another matter to attend to-"
he said. ''On this mans body was found
$50 and six-shooter. 1t is contrary to
the laws Of Texas and to the peace and
dignity Of the state to carry concealed
weapons. Therefore I con6scate the
revolver and fine the dee e;n 81: The The
settles the estate."-New York Times.
Sunday School Teacher-Now, chill
dren, last Sunday I asked little Tommy
Tinkerton if he had brought his prayer
book with him, and he put his hand in
his pocket and a golf ball fell out
What does this teach us?'
Bright Boy-Not to go to Sunday
school-Life
+ When Francis L. Wellman was an as
important capital cases. In one Of the
cases he tried Mr.. Wellman met with two
Jurors in succession who had. opposite
views on the subject of the death penalty
The first man called was asked:
"Have YOU any scruples against the
int tiS; Of j, the death penalty?"
what is your business?'
Strengthening.
The next man examined was asked:
"Have you any scruples against the
inaiction of the death penalty?"
Yes, SIR
''What is your busness?''
Life inSurance.'-New York Times.
WEARY " IdSSlcS-DdL 1OrkLOWn nODO
haz got a great scheme fr t git rich
quick.
Bleary Blaggles-Wot's dat?
Weary Wraggles-He steals rides on
de coal care an aggervates de brake
man inter t'rowin' chunks at 'im!-Balti-
more News.
Observing the unmistakable Erin
brogue of one of the Central park at
tendants, a visitor who was strolling
through the park remarked to him:
"You come from the old country, don't
you?"
'An' shure Oh do
Have you been long out -
"Oh, bedad, if Old lived in tn ould
country as long as Olive lived in New
tS o. Oh guess Old b tn owldest man in
you're pretty old man, then?'
"Oim oulder than me fayther-bless
his sowi-if he lived till mkt October
he'd be did this twinty yeers.''-New
York Times.
Exception-4'This talk about inventions
said Convict No. ISL. @.Why SOP asked
the guard. "Because it is. A patent
burglar alarm wuz the cause O. me gittin'
five years at hard labor
Sun.
"By an unfortunate typographical err
rOr,' says the editor of Dakota news
paper, I'VE were made to say last week
that our distinguished townsman, Prof.
Kennedy, was about to fit I'D a nobby
baboon for the comfort and enjoyment Of
his daughter on her wedding trip over
the prairie. What we meant to say
was a nobby balloon. We write this
with our left hand, while lying in our
spare bed with one eye entirely closed
and the other hand-painted, with an in
verified chair across our stomach for a
writing table. The extent Of our regret
for the blunder may be measured by the
difficulties we have surmounted in pen-
ming this explanation"
"He's thinking of branching out as a
theatrical manager this winter II
didn't suppose he was fitted for that sort
Of thing" 'Oh. yes. A relative of his
who died recently left him fur-lined
overcoat. "-Philadelphia Press.
A good story is related of Henry Clay
Dean, the famous orator Of a generation
or so ago. Mr.. Dean was generally re-
ferred to as ''Henry Clay Dean Of
Iowa. oven long of;or ho hod oo+oh