The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-05-16


TO watch dem buds unfold. 81 Is
I'd lie aroun' dar. all de June; .$.
I'd lie dar in July; $3.50
I'd never omit dat shady spot =
Till summertime went by -
I'd doze am dream an take my ease,
I'd loaf AN never stop ~ \
A waitin' fob dem leaves to fall
" t'A D' - 49, Washington Star:
"a funny thing happened at the opera
last night. Luckily, not many Of the
audience noticed it,"
What was it? Did the flies come
out into the house and get stuck on the
! 'paper:'"
II wish You wouldn't say those asinine
ly. 1t was 'Lohengrin, you know, and
the man who played the Swan was the
same man that plays the devil II mean
| the dragon-in 'Siegfried.'
II suppose he had too many beers
aboard. but, at all events, he thought he
was the dragon instead Of the swan, and
| let out Il terrific roar.
This ratified Lohengrin. who hap
pened to be the tenor who usually sings
Siegfried, and he went for the swan and
stabbed it to the heart, as he was accus-
| toned to doing to the dragon
|
| scene
Not at ALL The rest of them kept on
| singing and the orchestra was earning
its money all right. 1t was Wagner, any
way.
Il saw Mrs. Boxer and the De Kolle-
tay girls after the performance and they
said they had never enjoyed the Flying
Dutchman' so much. Perhaps they re-
ferred to the 'supe' in the swan.'-New
York Herald.
Mr. Grimes" said the rector to the
vcstryman, 1--WE had better take up the
collection before the sermon this morn
ing"
::Indeed:"
Yes: am going to preach on Econ
omX. '-Philadelphia Press.
| Bridget and Pat were sitting in an
arm chair reading an article on The
Law OF Compensation
Just fancy exclaimed Bridget sac
cordin' to this, whin il mon loses wan
aav is sinses another gifts more delevoped.
| sinse av he'rin' an touch. an"
''Shure, an it's quite thrue,' exclaimed
| Pat.
"Oi'vc noticed it meself. Whin Il mon
has wan leg shor,er than the other. be-
gorra the others longer -Philadelphia
| Times.
1884, 'S said S"S'$s sooid dn'0F y Xe 'e' and
::oblceged" until the last day of his
ninety years, not to speak Of '1aylock'
for lilac" and all the other test words
of the real person of quality three 0,
four generations ago.
President Eliot Of Harvard made a
clever speech before IA meeting Of Boston
Undergraduates the other evening, in
thing every day by being 'shown how. -
He illustrated his point by describing
the training of medical students and con-
Guided by telling of an old friend of his
who had suddenly become deaf in one
How lid this happen p 1 asked him.
well. l was blowing my nose the
other day. when I felt something snap
in my ear, followed by an aching and
| fullness.
When the doctor came he said the
drum had split. and asked how did it,
1 only blew my nose told the doc
tor.
We'll. had YOU opened your mouth
when you blew your nose you would not
now have a damaged ear drum was
the medico's reply"
You see, my friend had lived seventy
years and had never been shown how
to blow his nose" concluded President
Eliot. The application was appreciated
and greeted with a great burst of laugh
ter.
While Admiral Dewey was in COM
mand of the ASiatic Squadron. he DUR
chased large quantity of much-needel
coal without previously consulting the
navy department. When this became
known in Washington, an official sent
him this curt dispatch: "Why did you
buy SO much coal?' The admiral re-
piled: bradford. Chief of Bureau of
Equipment, Washington: TO burn.
Dewey"
Three men had been out on a spree
and on the way home late at night they
made Il wager that the one who did moi
do as his wife told him should nav for E
champagne supper the following night.
The first returned home, and his wife
greeted him thus:
Hello, you beauty! That's right
knock all the ornaments off the mantel
piece!'
He knocked them all off.
The second returned, and on going in
to. his house fell against the piano. where
upon his wife said:
Go on, get the chopper and smash il
up
| He did So
The third returned, and on going up
stairs, his wife said:
You miserable scamp, fall downstairs
and break your neck!''
Needless to say. he paid for the supper
London Spare Moments.
''What language is be a-speakin' in?'
asked the old man at the commencement
exercises
"Latin.'
We'll. he'll have to change that whe,
he gifts home"
Change it?''
Yes: the mule won't understand itv'-
Atlanta Constitution.
-:o:-