Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-01-14
said he, reading the names; "please

said he, reading the names; "please
sign Them
| We did so and he gave us checks
for them and passed on. The Pull
man agent was at his elbow. He
looked up, inquistively, as I handed
over the stateroom ticket. Then he
smiled knowing sort of smile.
Shall you want another state
room?" he inquired.
AS he spoke my mind went up to its
knees in the mire. OF course it would
not do for Mr.. Swackhammer to oc-
cupy stateroom with Miss Murphy.
l felt as if somebody had opened a
furnace door foot away from my
face.
"Ye-yes," I stammered, "of course
II shall want another stateroom."
"Why, no you WON'T" said Miss MUIR
ply, sweetly, but decisively, as she
brushed the lint off my coat collar, "I
want you with me-"
stared helplessly at the agent for
! little. My wife saw the serious char
acter of the situation, and turned her
face, looking thoughtfully out of the
I, window
~. yes" said I, feeling for my money.
Give me section for myself"
10 my chagrin it cost me more
than l had saved by those internal
tickets. And they were also to rob
our honeymoon of it's luster-that
was the worst of it. We were to be
put asunder in the very heyday of
our married life. began to laugh,
from the tickle of despair as soon as
the man had left us. Ny young wife
wiped her eyes and looked very Sc
| rious.
"Murph," said 1, you must learn
to treat me coldly for awhile. Re-
member, on this journey we are
nothing more to each other than ac-
quaintances, or, at best, friends"
She sat in silence little time.
Couldn't 1 be your sister?" she
whispered, presently, a solemn look
on her face.
'Impossible!" I exclaimed "How
could Miss Murphy be the sister Of
Mr.. Swackhammer?"
81 didn't know but there was some
way to manage it, said she, with
sigh.
Its too difficult said I. "You
might as well try to be my grand
mother"
Well, it was a long journey, and
before it was over everybody on the
car got to know everybody else. Miss
Murphy, being young, and, as I have
ever thought, very beautiful, became
exceedingly popular. There were
three young men going east to coll
lege who were more attentive to her
than they had any right to be. Not
that she gave them undue encourage
ment-it was not necessary. She was
only decently polite. They brought
her fruit and water, books and mag
azines and newspapers, and told
stories and sang songs to her, and
what, with it all, 1 had a feeling
worse than loneliness-it was one of
absolute bereavement. Day by day
was dropping like a flower that
had been cut and thrown in the dust.
One day, when they had all gone out
for dinner and we were sitting alone,
I determined to speak my mind.
"My darling!" whispered, 81 don't
like those young men. They are too
familiar. You mustn't let them come
near you. They are COMPOUNDED
nuisance. am your lawful husband,
but can hardly get word with
| you"
"You foolish thing!" said she.
Didn't you tell me was to be cold
and distant to you?"
Eyes, but 1 didn't think you would
bear down as hard as you have"
said I, and got up, little out Of
patience, and made for the smoking
| room. The college boys had just
come in for dinner. AS stopped a
moment outside the door l could
hear them talking while they were
lighting their cigars.
poor old Swackey!" said one,
laughing as he spoke.
HE is head over heels in love with
her." said another. "But he hasn't
ghost of show,
Looks as if he had been nit with
| an AK" said another.
"Or whacked with hammer" said
the first.
had heard enough, and came
| away. If l was not as happy as /
might have been, 1 went unwounded
the rest of the journey. When at
last we were crossing the ferry at
New York we were no longer Swack.
hammer and Murphy, but the happy
| lovers we had been.
ST never want to change my name
again" said my wife, with sigh OF
relief.
"And you never shall until 1 am
Dead" was my answer.
Talking at Long Distance.
Eighteen miles is said to be the long.
est distance on record at which a mans
voice has been heard. This occurred
| in the Grand canyon of the Colorado,
where one man shouting the name
bob" at one end, his voice was plainly
heard at the other end, which is 1s
miles away. DR.. Young records that at
! Gibraltar the human voice has been
| heard at distance of ten miles.-Chi.
cago Chronicle.
Mutual Benefit.
Young Wife-I am all run down. 1
| think I'll hire a cook and husband my
strength.
Husband-Yes, do, dear, and