davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
A HAPPY THOUGHT,

"Your majesty" advises the head ply
stefan to the cannibal king. had best
"What shall do?" muses. the king, a
hungry look spreading over his counte-
nance "Ah," he smiles, as a happy
thought strikes him, ''those last mission
aries who came to this island said they
were vegetarians. "-Baltimore Ameri-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

e-laad-area-of Hawaii lie 600 900
acres, t5.5s as Il
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

The postscript shows conclusively that
the boat proprietor has no wish to BIZ
unreasonable.-Tit-B
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

Longevity in New South Wales.
When the census was taken in New
South Wales among the ages returned
were five of 100 years, six Of 1O1, three
of 14, one Of 107 and another Of z113
years. -.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
HER CRUEL WISH.

HER CRUEL WISH.
81 wish was a starr the dude sighed,
smiling at his own poetic fancy.
Il would rather YOU were a comet -
she said dreamily.
His heart beat unanimously.
"And why?'' he asked tenderly, at the
same time taking her unresisting little
hand in his own. "And why?" he repeat
ed imperiously.
"Oh," she said with a brooding earn
estness that fell freezing upon his soul,
"because then you would come round
only once in fifteen years.
And he took his hat and went out into
the shimmering moonlight Buffalo COM
mercial.
Mrs. Bizzy-I am so sorry to hear that
your wife has been throwing the crockery
at you again, Casey. Where did she hit
you? Casey Faith, ma'am! That's what
Oh do be afther complainin' av. Twas
a whole set av dishes broke to pieces, an
she nivih hit ne wanst.-Brooklyn Life.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
CONSIDERATE.

She-Why did You ask Belle to 60
with us?
Ae-I saw she was going anyhow, and
I didn't wish her to feel mean over it.
The Smart Set.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

-, It. is dreadful to think about drinking
one grain Of alum in gallon of. water:
but how about q high ball st. Louis
GlObe-DemOcrat. ~ ? + g. <:s.s sz &
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
THE DROP CURTAIN.

A youngster had been to the theater,
and upon his return his uncle asked him
how he liked the play.
oh" he replied, "the play was all
why, how did that happen?'' asked
his uncle.
Because" answered the youngster,
''the roller must have been broke, for
the window blind fell down two or three
timesr'-Chums.
Father-Johnny, see your little broth
err has the smaller apple: Did you give
him his choice, as suggested?
Johnny-Yes, father: told him he
could have his choice-the little one or
none-and he took the little one.-Chums.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
HOW TO SELL 1T.

been dnc made W n% n adf eF
about for another farm. Meeting his
landlord he says: I'm gaun to gle up
this farm; naebody cud grow onything
ont Landlord-1 am sorry to hear it.
If take shillings off the acre will you
stop on? Farmer-Deed no; land like
that shud never be let by the acre, but
by the gallon.-Scottish American.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

THE BILLBOARD AND BOARD BILL
The difference between a poster and q
!andlady is that one gets stuck on q bill
board and the other on a board BILL
Philadelphia Record. ~ ) o..ss
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

Hello. central:' called the man at the
phone, give me the gas office"
Yes, SIR" replied the operator, but
must warn you in advance that we can
not tolerate any bad language over the
wire. Spare Moments.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

CURE FREE A cure found
at last. SEPTICIDE kills
the cancer germs, and 10
curing the most malignant
a FREE bottle to any can
send full description Of their
MFG. CO., Milwaukee, Wis.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21

They were talking of the vanity of
women and one Of the few ladies present
undertook defense.
of course" she said. II admit that
all women are vain. The men are not
But, by the way" she suddenly broke
off, ''the necktie of the handsomest man
in the room is climbing up under his
ear"
She had worked it. Every man pres
ent put his hand up to his neck.-New
York News.
Ford-Your lawyer made some pretty
severe charges against the other fell
low, didn't he?
Smallwort-Y- e-e-s; but you ought to
see how he charged me.-New York
News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
CANCER

cases. We will send
Ger sufferer. who will
case. SEPTICIDE )
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-21
HE HELD. HER.

"See here" she said, ''just tell that
clerk I can't wait. I've got to catch a
train, and he's been gone fully ten min
utes, looking for pair of shoes for me- -
Pardon, madam" replied the floor
walker, "but the smaller the size the
er-if he'll only hurry little III wait
for the next train.''- Philadelphia Press.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
= NNNNNNr
TOPICS. :
~~~~~S

nrs. James +. Coss, ST.,
,bably the earliest pioneers
unity, spent a joyful
Mr.. and Mrs. Albert
son-in-law and only
The aged. white-haired
.zing that the years for
,st, cannot be many, found
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01

BY the Council of the town Of Ritzville,
resolution.
The commonwealth and people of the
State of Washington having suffered a
great loss in the death of Governor John
X. Rogers on the 10th of December, 1901.
Resolved, BY the Council of the town
of Ritzville:
That the death of SO honorable and
honored man is loss to be mourned
by all. His public life was an example
OF incorruptible integrity, firmness and
prudence. His sympathies were all ever
with the masses of the people, from
which he sprang. to the highest position
of authority in the states public service.
His services were SO valuable and dis
tinguished as to elicit the admiration OF
friends and foes, and to call for grateful
recollection by grateful people. His
private life was of the most irreproach-
able character, and by both his public
and private virtues he had, in all thing,
endeared himself to the great majority
of the state. AS an upright and able
officer his loss is lamented.
Resolved. further. that a copy of these
resolutions be spread upon the minutes
of the council and published.
BY order of the Council.
Attest: IL. S. w. X. PETERS,
+. ID. Gibson, Clerk. Mayor.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01

The News has reader at Chemul-
pc, Korea. Harry j. Whittlesey, a
Ritzville boy, youngest brother OF Mrs.
w. w. Zent Ct this city, who is located
there engaged in his profession, assay.
ing, and has charge Of the Cyanide
plant at that gold mining station.
Korea is peninsula between the yell
low sea and the Sea of Japan on the
eastern coast OF Asia. But few white
men are in that far off country. Mr..
Whittlesey was in the assay Office Of
G. NJ. Fassett, Spokane, for a number
OF yeal s where he became very prof.
cient and skillful in that line OF work
Adams county seems to have lead
pipe cinch on fine weather, plea SAINT
sunshiny days and dusty roads. Win
ter has gone away back and sat down.
Not skift of snow so far but the
kinks may be tax IN out Of things yet,
We would not exchange our house
and lot for anything on Gods green
earth unless it would be for more
houses and lots in Ritzville, the trade
center and metropolis representing
the matchless resources OF the great
wheat belt.
F. z. French, special ID. ID. G. NJ,
assisted by Sheriff ]. G. Shorno, Or
ganized n lodge OF |. O. o. f. ut Lind
Saturday night with eighteen MEM
bers. The new officers are: n. g.,
Jas. Nelson; V. g., G. II. Low; Secy.
NJ. A. Meyer; Treas, J. J. Merriman.
J.P. Schroeder, Mrs. Hedrick and
daughter, Maud, OF Wilson creek. who
were subpoenaed as witnesses in the
case of H. f. Klaas VS.. Sebastian OFT,
left for home today. The case was
tried before Justice Scheuerle and de.
cided in favor OF plaintiff.
Albert Hender made a trip to
WalIa WalIa Monday where lie filed
upon quarter section of land south
OF Hatton upon which he will make
his future home.
Mr.. ard Mrs. August Schwerin are
in town today the guests OF Mr.. and
Ms. Ben Roth.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
INFORMATION BUREAU.

Hon. w. X. Kennedy is preparing
for general public sale OF his per-
sonal property on the farm four miles
west of town which will be held some
time the latter part OF January. He
has large amount OF farming inn
plements together with much mis-
cellaneous property which will be dis
posed Of regardless OF cost, as every
thing will be closed out. At the
auction some of the finest matched
young work horses in Adams county
will be knocked off to the best bidder.
1t will be to the interest OF everybody
and especially farmers, to attend this
sale. Announcements OF dates and
lists of the property to be sold will be
made little later through this paper
and by posters.
A story that is never stale. Not
the same story every day, but story
of the same. Store doings are always
changing here, consequently cur store
news of today is different from our
store news of yesterday. We are con-
stantly on the alert to keep things in
teresting for you and hope to always
make our store news worthy of your
attention. This week quite number
OF new novelties have come il that
you have not yet seen. Well feel
honored if you take look at them.
Some special prices this week too that
are not found in the ordinary shop.
Yours for DISTINGUISHING Mercantile
Company.
Prof. A. SchonieIdt has Just arrived
in town, and he is wonder in his
work. He is a clarivoyant and mag
netic healer, and all his work is guar
anteed or no charges made. Consul
tation free. He has been very sue
cessful, and is experienced in his
work. Office hours from 9 a. m to 9
p. m, Hotel Rltzvlle, room 10.
The First National Bank has
money to loan on improved real estate
in Adams and Lincoln counties
whether deed or held on railroad CON
tract. We make loans on lowest
terms, with or without commission;
light expenses, no delays. Core
spondence solicited.
We have never been so well pre-
pared, during our business career in
Ritzvlle, to handle a large fall trade
as we ere at the present time. Our
large store room and basement are
crowded to their utmost with furni-
ture of every grade and price. We
can supply the wants Of all kind Of
people-those OF limited means and
those with an abundance Of wealth.
If you want the very latest of every
thing in the line of bed room suites,
tables, chairs, carpets, lace and por-
there curtains, you will never find
them until you visit the big store of
the King Mercantile Co.
Heavy and shelf hardware, farmers
supplies, fine cutlery, guns and
ammunition, mechanics tools and
everything in the hardware line is
sold by us to your protit.-King Mer-
camille Co.
The King Mercantile Co. have just
received their long looked for eastern
car load OF furniture, rs well as car
load OF wagons.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
Kansas Valley.

Health good.
Early sown fall wheat looks well and
late sown is all right yet.
The literary at the Burkhart school
house is thoroughly organized and in
good running order. Subject for debate,
"Should north pole expeditions be en-
couraged." lead respectively affirmative
ly. and negatively by d. d. Lucy and b.
NJ. Snyder. A pressing invitation is ex-
tended to all to attend our literary and
help to make it success.
S. Glenn has returned from an extend
ed trip through the east.
Burkhart and Snowfall were at Wash
tucna the 27th inst.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
RitzviIle Respects Rogers.

w IELIHM IT. LUDDENI NC
S. A. WELLS, Receiver.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
BORN.

KRAusE-On Saturday, December Is,
1901, to Mr.. and Mrs. August Krause,
pair of bouncing twins-boy and
girl. DR.. Burroughs reports them
doing nicely.
TAvAkEs-On Thursday, December 10,
1901, to Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Ia
wares, II son.
LINN-On Tuesday, December "a, 1901,
to Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Linn, son.
In this city Monday, Dec. 30, 1901, to
Mr.. and Mrs. Fred p. Clodious, a
daughter.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
THE
Denver & Rio Grande
AND THE
Rio Grande Western
Only Transcontinental line
passing directly through

Only Transcontnental line
passing directly through
Salt Lake City, Leadville, Pueblo, Col
orado Springs and Denver.
Three splendidly equipped trains daily
TO all points East.
Through sleeping and dining cars and
free reclining chair cars.
The most magnificent scenery in
America by daylight.
Stop overs allowed on all classes Of
tickets.
For cheapest rates and descriptive
literature address .-
J. D. MANSFIELD,
General Agent.
IA Third street. Portland, Oregon.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01

A square argument is a clincher,
and there is no lodging the fact.
There's no answering the logic pre-
scented in our hardware. We don't
halve some prices and double others
to make up the loss. Our figures run
as even as a straight line, as close as a
well grazed pasture and regular as a
clock. We flourish by putting money
in our customers pockets. Follow us
and keep your pocket book fat.-King
Mercantile Co.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01
THROUGH OUR SHIRTS

many men have become acquainted with
other good things in our stock of Mems
Furnishings.
In many unusual ways these goods are
attractive and pleasing.
These are some of our offerings. 9th.
ers just as attractive are left out through
lack of space.
Underwear in winter weights at 80 cts.
each. fleece lined cotton shirts and
drawers, neckwear, etc.
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01

Call on us in our new quarters in
the Lee block and get acquainted with
our methods Of large sales with small
profits.-W. p. Taylor,
Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1902-01-01

w. p. Taylor, the best place in
town for staple groceries. Everything
fresh. A fine line OF fruits in stock.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
Progressive Mormonisnn.

The Mormon machine for the re-
ligious education Of the people is do
ing its work with relentless precision;
and, besides this, the best calculation
which the writer can make from the
last census shows that fully two-thirda
of all the Mormons now living in Utah
were born into that system, and con
sequently have never had a chance tc
know any other religion, says the Out
look. Twenty years ago the proper
ton would at least have heen re
versed, and the two-thirds would have
been newcomers, tumbled together
out of many nations, face to face with
giaring abuses and immoralfties, and
often secretly, If not openly, rebel
Iious. The power of the leaders has
been sufficient to double or quadrupla
the tithing receipts in the last three
years by a new revelation" twice re
Gently to reverse the political com
plexion of the state, and to belt the
Christian world with nearly two thou
sand emissarfes going out as prosely
tiers at their own or their neighbors
cost. These are not marks of declen
sion, but of vigor
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
Mark Twain's Hospitality.

Mark Twain is said by those who
know him in his home life to be many
things of excellence besides a hui
morfst; among them, model host
a loyal husband, gallant Trainer OF
fine compliments. A friend who
spent the evening in that family cir
Gle not long since tells this incident
as apropOs:
When, after dinner. coffee had been
served for three before an open fire
the conversation turned upon the sub
ject of the authors critics. When
Mrs. Clemens had grown vehement
in her denunciation of those who had
called her husband Selfish" he inter
rupted:
"But am selfish, my dear. l will
prove it to you and our visitor here
Mary" calling to the servant-"close
that door, please"
EYES," said Mrs. Clemens. drawing
up her chair a little closer to the
fire, 'let us keep out all the cold"
Nov, there you are" he added. a
was not afraid the cold would get in
but that some Of our coziness would
get out."-New York Times.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
The Short Step Between.

II was on the Paris when she ran
on the rocks off the English coast, a
couple of years ago." said a Phila-
delphia travelling man yesterday,
"and in the panic that ensued there
is one incident that stands out In my
memory, illustrating the slender
thread between the tragic and the
ridiculous. We had a fellow on board
who had managed to keep pretty well
loaded all the way across, and when
we struck the rocks he was in his
usual condition. When everybody
thought for sure we were going to
the bottom he sat down at the piano
in the saloon, and what do you sup.
pose he began playing? Home, Sweet
Home Somebody went to him and
begged him to stop. Immediately he
switched of from the doleful strains
of the old song to the rollicking mel
ody of Down Went McGinty.' The
absurdity of the thing seemed to
strike everybody at once, and gen
eral laugh followed. The tension
was relieved and there was good or
der after that."-Philadelphia Record
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
Had a Cinch.


"They certainly know more abou
politics in Indiana than in any othel
state in the Unioin," said Col. Harr!
Hall to-day. Every man is politi
clan. An experience l had when
was stumping the state in 1896 fol
Mckinley shows how closely tabs arr
kept
81 got off at Greencastle to get {
sandwich, and met prosperous look
ing man at the lunch counter.
How are things politically
asked him.
"'Oh, first rate he said. We've got
'em this year, sure
"'Got whom?' l asked.
"'Why, the Democrats. We've been
fighting them for years, and we've
brought the Democratic majority in
this country down so that we tied
'em last time. This time we'll whir
EN-
care you sure of it?' asked.
"'Certain, he said, with the utmost
conviction. Why, stranger, three Re
publicans have moved into the county
and there amt family in the county
with sick Republican in it. W.
can't lose New York World.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
MIaht Have Been Done for Less.

Former Congressman dams tells
this on his law partner, Former AS
sistant District Attorney Mcintyre
says the New York Times: Mr.. Nc
Intyre defended man who was
charged with some criminal offense
and the matter was carried through
two or three courts. The conviction
was finally sustained, and Mr.. Nc
Intyre presented bill for services for
81, 900.
The convicted man said the bill wac
too high. Mr.. Mcintyre was very
much offended at the mans attitude
II feel very much annoyed about this
matter" he said to Mr.. Adams. g.
think the charge was very reasonable
don't your"
eyes," replied Mr.. Adams, ri think
that your services were worth the
amount charged, but think the mar
could have been convicted for less"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18

please take him these flowers, and
tell him that his little sweetheart sent
them? Oh! he will like them so much,
for l gathered them all by myself"
The robins song was stilled. and the
buttercup thought Of another than
herself. The dusty coated humble bee
stopped his plundering and listened,
and the wild rose and the butterfly
were still. Then the breeze lovingly
touched the baby's curls and the lit
tie brook overfiowed its banks and
rippled caressingly around her rosy
ankles.
The little maid smiled lovingly upon
the whole forest family, then, turning
suddenly, ran swiftly away, looking
back to bid them last goodbye.
This extra bit of sunshine gone, the
brook no longer fingered. On and on
1t went until, still bearing the baby's
Offering, 1t joined the great sea far
away.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
NEW USE FOR eRAssHoPPERs.
Novel Method In Utah to Ward OF
the Threatened Pest.


The residents Of Ephraim, Utah,
the agricultural center of San Pete
county, where the crops last year
were completely ruined by grasshop-
pers, have adopted novel method
of exterminating the pest, which is
again threatening the CROPS. A series
of entertainments has been arranged
the admission to which is one-hAlf
bushel of grasshoppers.
The first entertainments dance
was held the other night, and seventy.
five half bushels of grasshOppers were
presented to the ticket man at the
door. After the dance the "hoppers"
furnished fuel for bonfire to prop
erly top off the occasion.
Everything possible is being done
to catch the young insects before they
begin to fly, and the citizens around
Ephraim have banded together in one
army to fight them. A standing
bounty of 81 bushel has been Of
fered by the city officials for the
young "hoppers."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-07-18
PREACHER WAS ALL RIGHT.
Certainly Proved That He Needed No
"Edificatlon."

Certainly Proved That He Needed No
"Edificatlon."
A prominent Texas lawyer whose
palmy days were spent on the North
western frontier gives this passage
from a sermon delivered by Rev
g., who once administered spin
itual food to the cowboy of the plains;
Rev. O. was no advocate of an
educated ministry, and in one Of his
sermons delivered his views on that
subject in this wise:
my friends, edification is no obJec'
ton on itself, but 1t III rank and
smoking sin for servants Of the Lord
to waste years to get I'M ediflcation
when every day and every mint the
devil needs roping and currying. As
your minister and Gods servant 1t Is
my duty to tell you the truth in its
working jeans, and find that to dc
that edification is not needed in my
business. If you must have book edi
fication, why pick 1t up while hoeine
and raking in the Lords vineyard, but
don't steal the Lords time to get It
No, in the minister ediflcation is not
needed at all to do the Lords work
for He will put the right words into
your mouth at the right time, and then
you can spit out blazing truth easier
and faster than hungry trout can
swallow minnows. Why, my friends
time and again when got warmed
up in the pulpit I have used words
that I never heard of before, and al
soon as meetin' was over men, and
some of them edificated, too, would
walk up and ask me: Brother, where
did you get them words?'"
The next morning as the lawyer
who preserved and stored in his mem
DRY that section of Preacher G--'s
sermon approached the court house he
saw this notice signed by a stockman
sticking to the door:
81 have 200 steer yearlings which
say Brother O. can Outpreach
any man west of the Brazos. Wei.
mer, Texas, Mercury.