Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1902-06-11
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HE WAS "sMOKED OUT"
True Story of why Mark TwRfI
Quit the River.

True Story of why Mark Twain
Quit the River.
What Caused Mark Twain to Leave
the River, or Why Great Humorist
Did Not Become a Second Jim Blud-
So" is one Of the books that has new
er been written by Samuel L. Glenn
ems or any one else. So far as known,
the story has never even appeared In
print, although 1t Is vouched for by
several of the old river men who have
the yarn-spinning habit.
According to these authorities, Mark
Twain never became a full-pledged
pilot and never stood a night watch
alone. In other words, while he had
a pilots license, his mastery Of the
great river craft on which he rode was
always limited by the understanding
that an older and more experienced
head was within easy call. This was
no discredit to the young pilot.
On the occasion in question, it mat
ters not what the year or boat, the
steamer to which young Clemens was.
attached as cub pilot was bound up
stream with heavy cargo OF cotton.
At the officers table the first day out
from Natchez, Miss, the talk turned
upon what to do in sudden emergen-
cies, and especially in case Of fire on
steamer loaded with cotton. The mat
ter was discussed in all its bearings,
each of those present giving his ideas
upon the subject. Mark Twain, like
most Of the others, held to the notion
that it was the pilots duty In such an
emergency to emulate the now famous
Jim Bludso and "hold her nozzle to the
bank till the last galoot's ashore"
Among those at the table was the
assistant engineer, young man whose
experience of life had taught him to
doubt the ability Of human nature to
carry out the projects of Its more
boastful moments. He went below at
the same time Mark Twain went aloft,
but the two continued to think Of the
conversation just closed. The more
the engineer thought about 1t the less
credit he was disposed to give to the
cub pilots scheme.
As every one knows, the pilot house
and engine room Of a steamboat are
connected, not only with bells for Sig
mailing, but with a speaking TUBE.
through which the important func-
tionaries who operate above and below
can discuss the weather and politics
in their spare moments. The mouth ol
the tube at the upper end Is but Ill
tie larger than the human mouth; but
in the engine room 1t has the space OF
funnel as big as half-bushel meas
ure. While the assistant engineer was
pondering the emergency question ne
was also wiping off portion OF the
machinery with bunch Of cotton
waste. and as he reached the mouth
Of the speaking tube 1t was the work
of but a moment to touch a match 10
the inflammable material in his hand
and thrust it into the tube.
No one saw the act, but everybody
on hoard heard from 1t in about a
minute. Mark Twain, alone In the
pilot house and still pondering the dire
things he had heard from the older
hands about the horrors Of burning
steamboats,, especially when they hap
pened to be loaded with cotton. was
Mortified to see smoke pouring from
his end Of the speaking tube. There
was but one thought in his mind. The
boat was on fire. Dropping the wheel.
which spun around and around as 1t
left his hand, he grasped the rope py
which the big bell was sounded and
began pulling like a sexton. at the
same time raising his voice In cry
of "Fire." Fire" THE boats afire!
Here the officers of the boat and the
passengers are said to have found
him. after hurriedy ascertaining that
the alarm was false, still valorously
determined to save the ship" The
boat. relieved of the rudder's guild
ance, had in the meanwhile swung
around In the current and dashed full
speed on a sand bar, from which 1t
required half q day to drag her. And
Mark Twain, having lost his nerve,
left the river.-St. Louis Globe-Dem-
ocrat.