davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1902-09-18
What a splendid type of tireless &C
tipitY Ia the ann az tim rna.iitnist 10

What splendid type of tireless &C
tivity is the sun as the psalluist de-
scribes it issuing Xix Q "a bridegroom
from his chamber and rejoicing like u
strong man to run race. - Every
man ought to rise in the morning re-
freshed by slumber and renewed by
rest, eager for the struggle Of tho day.
But low rarely this is so. Most
people rise still gnrefreshed, and
dreading the strain Of the days
labors. Tho cause If this is deficient
vitality aud behind this lies "a deficient
supply Of pure, rich blood, ana an in
adequate nuurishmeut of she body.
There is nothing hat will give man
strength and energy, as will Or.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. 1t
does this by increasing the quantity
and qualify of the blood Supply. Tbs
nourishes the nerves, feeds she brain,
builds up snfeobled organs. and gives
that sense of strength and power which
makes the struggle OF life Joy.
The "good feeling which follows
the use OF Golden Medical Discovery
is not due 10 stimulation as it con-
tains no alcohol, whisky or other in
toxicant 1t does not brace up the
body, but builds it up into condition
of sound health.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1902-09-18
Challenge for .A,nsrIc,,.s Chm.

Tou'"n Eng. Sept. ID. Tho challenge
of Sir Thomas Upton for another series of
racess ior the Americas cup will be for
warded within few days.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1902-09-18

challenge of Manager Weigand of the
Wilmington baseball club to play the
winner for 81, COZ a side, to which he
replied: ~ decline to be interviewed. -
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1902-09-18

Danger Ahead Signalled by Cough Is
ayerted with II als's Honey of Horehound
and Tar. OF Druggists.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one
inmates
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1902-09-18

wILM NGTnS A. A,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
MODERN FABLES
Modern Fable of whatBefel the Designing Chaun>
cey Who Walked Right Up and Spoke to Her.
eY eEoReE ADE-oopyrah. 1so2 By a01srt Howard Russs:

the Picnic given by the Ladies'
Auxiliary Of the Horse-Shoers'
Union
When she walked up the Gang
Plank her shoes were hurting her
a little, but she had on all of her
Rings and thought fairly well OF
herself.
Tessie did not fetch any Lunch
Basket with her because she had
a horrible Suspicion that some
Gentleman would get to talking to
her and then make her go and eat
a few Lines. She had been out a
couple of times before and it had
been her Luck not to come back
Hungry. Tessie had sort of
Hunch that History would repeat
itself.
So Tessie planted Camp Stool
right in the Main Promenade
where those who wished to go For
ward or Aft would be compelled to
walk over her. After which she
gazed pensively at the broad ex-
panse of Drink and waited for
something to happen.
Now among those on Board was
a Pale-Face with more or less
Neck who was prominently con-
nected with the Bundle Depart
ment of a first-class Clothing Store.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

Chauncey pulled out his Cuffs
and began to deal Polite Conver-
sation of the kind that is supposed
to calm the Fears of Trembling
Young Thing. He told her his Real
Name and showed his Link But
tons and begged her not to regard
him as Mere Flirt.
At the end of half hour she
was chewing the End of her Fan
and answering YES" and NO" 1t
looked to Tessie as if she would
have to put up with him all Day,
so she began to work the Flag.
AS for Chaunce, he perceived
that he had been too Fresh, so he
switched to the Weather and be-
gan to burn low and threaten to
go out.
Just when Tess figured herself
a sure Loser, some one hit her in
the Back and called her Sis. 1t
was a loud Hick who had been
watching her on the Dock.
81 like your Nerve!" exclaimed
Tessie, giving him the Eye.
Now you behave or I'll give you
a mean old Slap right on the
Elbow" said the Hick, saying
which he seated himself between
Chauncey and Therese.
GLADYS, dost think you could
learn to love me?" he asked, TAX
ing her by the Lace MILt.
1t is needless to say that Chaun-
cey was very indignant. He felt
it his duty to protect the poor
Girl, but somehow he found him
self blocked off and there was no
chance to get in Word.
The Hick was telling Therese
that her Eyes were not Mates and
that he didn't care so much for the
way her Hair was put up and she
was toasting him for Keeps and
threatening to hand him if he
didn't let go of her.
Finally she got so mad that she
asked MIN to come in the back
part Of the Boat so that she could
tell him just what she thought Of
him.
That was where Chauncey found
himself alone with the Water
scape. Tessie never came back,
for she had found her Meal-Ticket.
MORAL: The League Rules do
not go at a Picnic.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

an to attind amy fun'rals iv tn
rile family. TIL first sicrety gifts
him so he can weep ivry time tn
name iv SHAKESPEARE is mintioned.
TIL first sicrety tells him that he
ougtn't to know too nanny Ameri-
cans, but that's because tn first
sicrety don't understand his fell
low counthrymen. Ivry mornin'
whin tn ambassadure opens his
mail expictin' a letther firm tn
Prisidint tellin' him to run right
over to tn palace an asst tn king
about tn Pannyma Canal, he gifts
few lines firm an American stop
pin at tn Stars an Sthripes Hotel,
sayin': Dear Ambassadure, have
a letther firm Mark Hanna tellin'
ye to give me tn best rooms in
ye'er house or lose ye'er job. l
will move in tomorroh. Name
while PLACE sind me tn name iv a
good store in this accursed hole
where an American can buy pair
iv suspendersi' If he's a wise am
bassadure he does it. A man that
riprisinted this country abroad
soon larns how to match silks an
how to buy rockin' chairs. If he
don't he's no good. An on tn
Foorth iv July he stands at home
an grasps NANNY wet an frindly
hand.
''All this l larned firm Dargan,
who wuz over there las year. He
met an ambassadure that used to
run FIR congress iviry time he had
mind to. Dargan got his money
eight times befure tn good man
larned that Dargan didn't live in
tn district. He says that tn am
bassadure tor him what I'm tellin'
We an wept on his shoulder.
How long ARE We in f'r?' asks
Dargan. Three years more he
says, an thin I'll give tn first sic
rety a punch in tn nose an ray
turn to tn land iv tn Free he
says. Have We amy fine cut?' he
says. At this minyit young man
come around tn corner an grab
bed tn ambassadure be tn collar.
Didn't tell ye niver to come out
~ tn park in thin pants? he says.
Here comes Lord Gimlets, he
says. 1t was tn first sicrety. An
Dargan niver see tn ambassadure
again. He thinks they have him
locked UP in the coal cellar.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31


His name was Chauncey and he
loved the Society of Ladies. At
the same time he knew his Place.
Chauncey spotted Therese and saw
that she was alone and signing for
Company, but he did not care to
be too Brash at the first Crack for
fear that she would give a Scream
and jump Overheard.
Accordingly he nerved himself
and approached her, Hat in Hand,
and began to beg her Pardon.
He said he knew 1t was hardly
Proper to brace a Young Lady
without the Formally of an. Intro
duction, but he hoped she would
overlook his Boldness. He made it
SO Strong that Tessie had to play
the Bankers Daughter in order to
hold up her End. She said 1t did
seem very strange to be sitting
right there talking to Party she
had never Met and if her People
ever suspected that she done any
thing of the Kind they would be
Awful Sore.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
To Tax Titles.

Labouchere In London Truth
The suggestion In a recent issue of
Truth that it is in the power of every
man to ennoble his descendants by con-
ferring upon them the names of duke, -
''earl.' baron Sir" etc. at the bap-
tismal font has been very favorably re-
ceived by a large circle of readers, and
| have had a great deal of correspondence
on the subject. Some further useful sug-
gestions have also reached me. One gen.
tleman thinks that any names assumed
in this way should pay a tax l quite
agree with this. / have always advocat-
ed that the sale of titles should be con-
Quoted openly, instead of surreptitiously
as at presents and, of course If the state
decided to raise revenue by this process,
1t would have to tax all privately created
titles up to the value of the official deco
rations, otherwise the market for the lat
ter would be spoilt.
1t has occurred to me while writing that
we might have a system Of graduating
income tax on the basis Of titles The
beauty of this system would be that a
title would be a clear indication of
mans wealth, and consequently of his
social and moral value. It would thus
be a much more satisfactory possession
to the owner that 1t could possibly be
under the present system, and at the
same time the burden of taxation on the
lower orders" would be relieved and
persons of humble social position would
practically be compensated in hard cash
for their inferiority IN rank. Incidentally
there would be the advantage that we
should all know at a glance whether any
man we met was or was not worth call
ing upon or asking to dinner.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

into tn job. No, sir. If me frind
in Wash 'nton liver offered to sind
me to reside at or near tn coort iv
st. James I'd asst him: ARE all
tn guagers' jobs took?' No wan
that loves his fellow counthrymen
as | do, an knows thin, wud &C.
cept tn honor an lave his prop
erty an good name in their caro-
FIR four years. While | have me
vigor I'll remain here with me
hand on tn gun. | bet We l cud
put an advertisement in tn pa
apers tomorroh, Wanted, an am
bassadure ixhtrordhnry; middle
aged, protestant gintleman iv good
figure, kind disposition an used to
siciety; salary SO a week. an Ar
rchey Road'd be blocked with ap-
plicants, an they'd all be good
enough.
mo, sir, it amt tn job it was.
l used to think I'd like to be wan
an go over to Rooshya an whin
some good la-ad firm this coun-
thry got into throuble over hurlin'
remarks iv an unkind nature at tn
Car to wrap him up in an Ameri-
can flag an dhrive him through
town in an expriss wagon while
tn Rooshyan gin'ral that was goin'
to shoot him bit holes in his whis-
kers an muttered: Curse that
American dogsky. He's foiled me
befure me ar-rmyi An If TIL
American citizen was pinched I'd
dhrive up to tn palace in fury
GUS rage. push tn guards aside an
march into tn chamber where tn
Gar sat on his throne an say:
Sign an order to release this man
in tin minyets or I'll blow up tn
flat ARE We aware says TIL
Car, with blanched face, that
ye're addhressin' a king?' 4 am
says I, with me hand on TIL brest
iv tn uniform " tn Hybernyan
Rifles iv which | was ilicted Tin
me mind) tn colonel befure |
sailed. 4 am. dishpot,' says I.
An | says, ARE ye aware l
says, that We ARE addhressin','
| says, Martin Dooley, Ministher
Plenipootootchinary an Ambassa-
dure Exthrordin'rt iv tn United
States iv America, County iv
Cook, S. s., huroo?' says /, pullin'
a little American flag firm me vest
pocket an wavin' it over me head.
Great Hivins, says tn Gar, signin'
tn ordher with thremblin' hands,
an hurry off to tn dungeon an
release Eben Perkins, an he gives
me goold watch an his good
lookin' wife throws her arms
aroun' me neck an calls me their
presarver. Twas wan iv tn
dhreams Nv me youth. I'm oldher
now.
"Gin'rally whin we see in the
pa-apers that a mans been ap-
pinted ambassadure We know it
ought to r-read that his wife has
been appinted ambassadhress. His
wife wants him to lave tn coun-
thry an tn country is resigned
an tn place he's gQin' to don't
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

raise no objections. Whin he reads
in tn pa-apers all tn things he's
called he begins to think tn jobs
almost as high as a place in tn
Custom House, an tn good woman
sees herself an tn Queen rompin'
togither an maybe she won't give
tn cold eye to tn wife iv tn rich
undertaken up tn sthreet whin
she comes to Boodypest an sees
her an tn rile family rowlin' by
in tn rile coach dhrawn be camels.
TIL ambassadure lands at tn coort
where he's goin' to avinge tn in
suits to his native land FIR four
years, an tn sicrety iv tn lega-
ton who used to be a good tennis
player befure he lost his mind,
meets him at tn deepo an hurries
him into closed hack. What's
this fri says tn ambassadure,
who's had tn Coat iv Arms iv Moo
Jersey painted on tn soles " his
boots an would like to put thin
out tn window. why am threat
ed like a prls'ner?' he says. Hush
says Alonzo, tn first sicrety. 'Ye
can't be seen until we've been
GAVIN over by tn tailor he says.
If annywan got onto that blue
Prince Albert it'd be We to tn Bas-
teel,' he says. I'll take We home
an keep ye locked up till tn har-
ness maker has got through with
ye,' he says. But says tn am
bassadure, 'whin do I begin tn i'm
portant jooties iv me exalted sta
tion?' he says. Thank Hivin.'
says tn sicrety Nv Legation, there
amt ball FIR week. he says.
Please keep yeer face away firm
tn window an do throw away that
pocket comb, he says.
9Th first sicrety has tn divvles
own time FIR week or two. Ivry
mornin' he spinds in tachin' tn
ambassadure an his lady tn two
sthep an tn wurruds iv tn coun-
thry indicatin', How dye do Tn
PLACED to meet ye.' It's fine, big
house We have I'll take little
more iv tn spinach an so on.
Fin'lly he has 1t all right an tn
first sicrety takes him to see tn
king. AS he enters with martial
sthride tn speech he prepared in
Jersey City slips his mind, he falls
aisily on a rug into sittin' or
kneelin' posture an tn king NUT
tiers a few kindly wurruds in TIL
language that tn ambassadure
used to shoot at whin he was in
tn milishy, an all is over. TIL
first sicrety carries him out an he
goes home an finds his wife in
Mysteries firm thryin' to explain
her position in Cedar Rapids be-
fure she was marrid to Rooshyn
princess through a Danish maid
iv honor that wanst lived in Scot
land.
after a while he begins to ap-
precyate tn honors Nv his place.
TIL king sinds him an invitation to
peek into tn rifle gardens on pub
lie holidays, to speak at dinner
Nv tn Buss Dhyiyers' Assocyation
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
Southern OIL.
From the Baltimore Sun.

from the DdllliiOic ohih
Mr. Henry Russell, an Iowa capitalist
was in New Orleans on Tuesday, en- route
to Beaumont, Texas, to look into the
serious question Of transportation facili-
ties for petroleum oil. The company in
which ne is largely interested has now
1900. 900 barrels of oil in tanks, ready for
shipment. but, owing to the lack Of
transportation facilities, the stun re-
mains on hand. Mr.. Russell believes
that the petroleum industry means vol
umes of wealth for Texas and Louisiana,
because, in his opinion, petroleum oil is
the fuel for the future. The presence Of
oil in inexhaustible quantities in the
south means cheapened fuel and, conse-
quently. a great impetus in manufactur-
ing concerns.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

$50 l don't want to be amy am
bassadure. HinIIissy. TIL cable is
quicker, tn new paper rayporther
is more important an theyse more
diplomatic business done be Jew
rdcn FIRM Wall Street thin be all
til diplomats fr'ni Constantinople
to Copenhagen, bedad."
"But supposin' Ireland was
free" said Mr.. Hennessy.
"Ah," said Mr. Dooley, thin
twud be ye I'd like to see git tn
job. l cudden't have too nanny
Nv me OF frinds presintin' their
cridintials to me-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
summer Excursions by nail and Sal,

The Central of Georgia Railway and
connections are now selling round trim
tickets to New York. Boston. Baltimore
and philadelphia via Savannah and
Steamship Lines at very low rates. Tick
cts include meals and berth aboard shin
Much less than all rail- For ulI partic-
MARS. berth reservations, rates, etc. an
nlv to any agent Central OF Georgia Rail-
way. or to soLON JACOBS.
Ala s-6-su-tu-th-sa-tf
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
VALUABLE BROWN ORE LAND.
REGISTERS SALE.
No. 2402.

No. 2402.
Joseph H. woodward, Complainant vs..
William Fl. Woodward ct al, Defend
ant-Chancery Court.
BY virtue of a decree rendered at thu
- term, A. d. 1900. of the Chancery
court, at Birmingham, Jefferson county,
Alabama. in said cause, 1 shall proceed
to sell to the highest and best bidder.
for cash. at public auction, at the door
of the court house of Jefferson county,
Alabama, In the city OF Birmingham.
within the legal hours Of sale, on Mon
day, the 8th day of September, A d.
1902, the following described read estate.
to-wit: Northwest quarter OF southwest
quarter, the east half of the southeast
quarter and the southwest quarter of the
southeast quarter, in section 80; the west
half of of the northwest quarter and the
northwest quarter of the southwest quar-
ter, In section "a. all in township 20 OF
range west. in Tuscaloosa county, Ala
bama. The west half of the northeast
quarter. the southeast quarter OF the
northeast quarter, the southeast quar-
ter and the southeast quarter of the
southwest quarter, in section 4; the
southeast quarter and the south half of
the northeast quarter. in section 8: the
east half of the southwest quarter and
the southeast quarter Of the northwest
quarter and the west half of the north
east quarter and the west half of the
southeast quarter and the southeast
quarter of the southeast quarter and the
west half of the northeast quarter of the
southeast quarter, and nine acres cut
off the north end Of the northeast quar-
ter of the northeast quarter, all In Sec
ton 9; the west half Of the northwest
quarter and the northeast quarter of the
mort Invest quarter. In section IT; and the
northwest diagonal half of the south
west quarter of the southwest quarter.
In section 10, all In township q of range
6 west, dn Tuscaloosa county, Alabama.
The southeast diagonal half OF the south
west quarter OF the southwest quarter OF
section 10, township q of range west.
in Bibb county. Alabama.
All of said lands containing 1349 acres,
more or less. To satisfy said decree.
W. C. GARRETT.
s-17-at-su Registeg-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31


- can why?" asked Mr..
Dooley.
Dooley.
1T must be grand job" said
Mr.. Hennessy.
"'Tis an aisy job said Mr.. Doc
ley, an tbs gran job if We care
fir 1t. But it amt tn job it used
to be. TIL time was, Hinnissy,
whin man that was an ambas-
sadure was tn whole thing, dye
mind. He whit off to a foreign
country an they was no cables
an no fast ships an he done as
he pleased an tn first thing amy
iv us heard iv him he'd hit tn
king in tn eye an we had a war
on our hands. Thin was tn days
whin ye'd have a good time as an
ambassadure. | can see We now
mixin' in little proosic acid with
tn soup iv ye'er frind tn Eyetal-
ian ambassadure, rayceivin' spies
on tn doings Nv tn prime minis
Tiers wife an sindin' letther to
TIL king: 4 have tn honor to in
10TH yC u ludJO0bJ bAdb IL We uOu
do so-an'-so before six o'clock this
av'nin | will be obliged to bump
We. Accept tn assurance iv me
mos distinguished consideration
an hurry up An ambassadure,
dye mind, was kind iv a prisi-
dint Nv tn United States livin'
abroad an he done what he
thought tn Prisidint would do il
he was in tn same place an tn
Prisidint had to make good FIR
him.
But nowadays we don't need
an ambassadure amy more thin
we need stage coach to go down
to Michigan City. TIL require
minis has changed with tn time.
If me frind Prisidint Tiddy wants
to know what's goin' on amy
where all he has to do is to sub
scribe to tn pa-apers. If he wants
to do anything about it he can
dhrop into tillygraft office an
sind cable message to tn king
iv Boolgahrya or WHOEVER it is
that's maxim tn throuble. To be
an ambassadure is to have his
wife want 10 i've IN Europe; to
be a first sicrety he must be a
good Walter; to be sicind Sic
rety he must know how to press
clothes an take care of childher.
Ye don't see anybody nowadays
that stands chant to be illicted
sheriff thryin' to be ambassadure
anywhere. An ambassadure is
man that is no more use abroad
thin he wud be at home. A vice.
prisidint iv company that's bein'
took In be a thrust, lawyer that
tn juries is onto, congressman
that can't be REELECTED, milishy
gin'ral who's family wants to larn
Fr-rinch without tn aid Nv a teach
er. thim's tn kind that lands. Ye
1aadden't blindfoid me an back me
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

nee there was a Gum
n II Chewer named Tessie
WI who ironed up her White
Dress and bought seven
yards of Ribbon and went on a
Picnic given by the Ladies' Aux
Hilary of the Horse-Shoers' Union.
Tess was more than nine and
could take care of herself at any
point along the Line. The Girls
who worked at the same Plant
often said that Tessie was a reg
ular Case and full of the old
Harry, but Just the same she was
Awful Nice.
She had a changeable Figure
and a Complexion that showed up
best at a Dance.
Although somewhat shy on Hap
by Clothes, she managed to leave
small Ripple behind her when
ever she plowed along Main Street,
showing her Buckles. Usually she
wore her Sailor pulled down to her
Eyebrows, and cast frightened
Chances to right and left, as If to
say, Gee! l wonder II some Fresh
Guy is going to speak to me?"
But some of them didn't.
Therese was her Official Name
and she used it on her Cards, each
of which had a Colored Picture of
Flowers in the Corner. Mother
got the name in a oLory-Paper.
The Bertha Clay Habit seemed to
run in the Family. Tessie loved to
work her way into Tea-Gown and
ten get couple OF Pillows under
her and eat Fudges and read how
Basil Armytage rode up to the
Manor House and found Lorraine
waiting for him beside the old Yew
Tree.
Tessie didn't know the diff be-
tween Manor House and a Chop
House. but it sounded swell and
she had longing to meet a sure
enough Basil who wore what Is
sometimes known as a Dress Suit
and had Brilliantine on his Nous
taches.
While waiting for Basil to pop
out at some Corner and catch step
with her, Tess was doing the best
she could.
And that was why she used up
a lot of starch getting ready for
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

The family medicine in thousands OF
homes is Hoods Sarsaparilla. Take only
Hoods.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
The Best Place
9s>->IN EHslEY TO EAT Is TX
THE HOBSON CAFE.

Regular meals, 25c. Lunches, 15e.
The delicacies of the season to order
at reasonable prices.
1912 Avenue &. Bell phone 6069.
LAIIIhpI po0,.,nt Oor h.,p
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
DR.. Palmer'S
Little
Black Pills

These pills are different in every way
from the old-fashloned purgative pills.
They act as mild and gentle cathartic,
at the same time tone up and strengthen
the bowels
Constipation is relieved and can be per-
manently cured by their use.
Most pills debilitate; these have de-
cided tonic effect
Put UP in boxes l5c: two for Csc
SMALL size, IN bottles, l5c; two for Csc
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31
DOOLEY ON OUR AMBASSADORS ABROAD


ID IKE TO be an ambassa-
o o dure," said Mr.. Hen
nessey.
80 "An' why?" asked Mr..
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-08-31

NO Z4U2.
Joseph II. woodward, Complainant, VS..
William Fl. Woodward, ct al, Defend
ant-Chancery Court.
RY virtue of a decrea rendered at thu