Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1902-08-30
THE FAT MANS
DORY CRUISE

TO me, you wanter get a dory
sSLnd sail her yourself 1t will teach
YOU how TO be a good sailor quicker
shan anything else"
The short, fat man in the croSs-seat
paused for breath and his thin friend
looked at him admiringly:
@-Djedoit?"
~'Sure thing" said the fat man. "Oh.
I was a regular come-on for Suburban
vile, jeewhilliker laIlagaloo OF a
greenhorn who'd never seen salt wa
ter, and. say, it honestly makes me
sick TO think of IL.
''They don't do that sort of thing out
An Orange, where I'd lived before /
moved up TO the Sound. Not on your
life
when 1 found that everybody in
Ghe place talked boats, even II he
didn't know a jibboom from a push
cart, I saw that / was up against it
hard, / always believe in doing in a
:. suburban town as the Romans do, SO
10 speak.
"In Orange I was q member Of Chau-
Uauqua circle. No. 16, and when II
came right down to keeping cases on
dates, l was a peacherino for fair.
but, say, this sailing game was new
ION me, though I didn't say so.
'.Almost before the last moving van
Canded my spare furniture a fellow
named Brown, who had the bungalow
next to mine, came over and says he to
une, says he:
Mr.. Johnson, I'm glad TO welcome
you as a neighbor My name is
Brown, Shackleton Brown, sir
Thanks, old SPORT said 1. How
are they running. eh?'
Brown was neighborly, and pretty
soon he says:
You moved from Orange, the van
driver tells me, and suppose you
ZANE up here for the sailing
You're an old sport says /, and
&hen I went over to Browns and
7iquored with him.
''rm giving it TO you straight that
never drank such liquid fire in my life.
Honest injun, I couldn't have felt
worse If I'd gotten my mouth right
sover Mount Pely and swallowed some
SHILLING lazy.
Must have gone to my head for sure.
because began telling Brown about
1he big yacht I'd run down on the
FLORIDA coast. Said I'd had streak Of
Ill luck and that I'd concluded TO try
ASmall-boat sailing"
The thin man on the seat beside the
speaker looked intense admiration
and chuckled
II dunno what started me- con-
tinued the fat man, modestly, "but
before / had finished with that guy
1alking about my big yacht had An
sanias looking like selling platter.
WhenI'd smoked my pipe and come out
ITO bit, Brown talked and / saw that
Mt was up to me to make good.
He said that he'd put me into the
Never Reef Yacht club, the saltiest ag-
Sgregation of amateur tars to be found
con the Sound. I couldn't refuse and
when / explained that had no small
boat and had never sailed anything
smaller than a 7O-footer he gave me
shat song and dance about getting a
,udory.
81 got book that told all about sail
lang, and say, that's where my Chau-
dauqua circle training came in a nose
to the good. I learned the whole
thing and then wondered why peo-
pie made so much fuss about sailing.
1t looked too easy.
'I was elected to the Never Reef
CLUB all right. all right, and I blew in
n good four plunks for yachting cap
with the clubs flag on the front. Say,
II looked great in it.
Il felt as big as a thirty -eeoond de-
gree mason with sword. Oh, / was
1.-THE real thing, you can gamble, and
you'd died to have heard me down
at the club giving advice. Say, that's
al dangerous game all right, all right.
II got along SO nicely with it that after
Il had looked over the club feet tried
ito get gay.
Says I: You're talking about a
new clubhouse. Dead wrong. What's
THE use? Why don't you in9ist that
seaoh member of this club when he gets
eEhrouah sailing shall take his boatlet
gnndeE his arm and carry IL home?
LIT him nut it on his front lawn