Sunday Washington globe., 1902-03-16
AN ABLE ANSWER
Is Marriage a Failure BY a
Local Attorney.
a CHEERFUL BLAST
In Which Spades are Called Spades.
and Animals, Including Man, are
Graded According 60 Their Natures
some Plain Writing by an Honest
Man.

In several numbers of the evening
Times early marriages are advocated by
Marion Harland, while late marriages are
advocated by Christine Terhune Herrick
The writer maintains that marriage early
or late, is, in seventy-hve cases out of a
hundred dead failure, the exceptions be-
ing of superior natural affinity.
Whether il is a civil contract or a sacra-
ment set up by municipal OF canonical law
the animal dominates, and all the statutes
OF heaven and earth combined against the
will power, cannot restrain OF regulate this
natural propensity. Take the common
syllOgism-man is an animal.s Animals are
polygamists Therefore, man is by nature
a polygamist
Does it appeal to reason, after mature re-
Election, that man or woman. because of
the folly Of moment, the simpering,
mouthing and popping the question, even
the glance of an eye, the fascination of a set
curl, the curve of waxed mustache, or the
shekels of a cabbage-head father-in-law,
should cause the eternal suffering of a thou
sand deaths, by inches during life,-the
ceaseless stings of vipers, the poignant tor
ments of the exiled in hades, because tyran-
nCal society--the law-wills il So for var
ious reasons not fundamentally sound
Marriage Ia mode, restricts and dwarfs
the healthy evolution Of the race-creations
desideratum begets roues and scientific cour-
tesans and throwing love to the dogs, lacks
those higher aud nobler attributes Of intel
lectual companionship, spiritual mutually,
forbeaTance and domestic compatibility,
hence the old saying: If God made you
the devil matched you"
Modern marriage laws too often emanate
from a spoony Legislative chivalry, favoring
the female partner in the despotism of
divorce courts, so that she has scarcely
whirled through the animal excesses of a
brief honeymoon when she settles down an
adept in local divorce laws ever having an
eye single on the heft of alimony
In seven-eighths of the divorces filed the
lady sumptuously parades hCr cause in de-
tail, whilst neighborly sister Anna does the
swearing yet the brute, silent, bashful Jim,
possessing the real merits of the case,
dummy as to his domestic affairs, dares not
show fight against an overwhelming array
of well-seasoned .perjury, not a whimper
out of him, unless he fills up and denounces
marriage and its institution.
Since my lady is now becoming so po-
tently aggressive she is also becoming less
lOyable, and the day may come when all
municipal and canonical marriage laws
will-tooth and nail-be swept from our
civilization, and the Mosaic law revived
whereby separations become cheap and
graceful by handing the wife written bill
of divorcement a safe check rein to hold
over a cold blooded and uncOngenial viragO,
possessed of a scorpions tongue, and what
is sauce for the goose should be sauce for
the gander-the masculine brute. This in
strumeut when properly Witnessed and
duly recorded at the place of marriage.
should be all sufficient
All persons of manageable age should
declare their intentions to marry at a stated
period, as foreigners declare their inten-
tions, and penniless couples-like unde-
sirable emigrants, should not be permitted
to marry in the absence Of financial or other
guarantees.
The legal concubinage of the pagan world
begot a much higher civilization and a
thousand times nobler race of men and
women, but with the invention of mono
gamy came all the effeminacy and physical
degeueracy Of our present so-called refined
civilization.
The children of such divorces should be
maintained by the respective states in in
dustrial homes and in due course, if not
claimed, apprenticed out to manhood and
usefulness Many of the youth Of our pen
iteutiaries are today serving time because
they were their mammals pets for the
father is usually--in the training Of chill
dren-NOH est iHUeNfNS. Mothers-in.law
and the aged generally should be supported
by the state as preventive of gross mat
rimonial frauds
Paternity, maternity and the accident Of
nurture are much overated even in more
mature life. boy would thrive just as
we'll in a state industrial school known only
as No. 35,S64, group S, of No. AIS Saturn
avenue, Washington, d. c., as if called and
known by his paternal name-John Ran
dolph Eustace Smith, of same address.
This may, perhaps besmirch the armorial
bearings and ancestral family tree, but the
less of this the better-the boy IS Adam
solus A LOCAL LAWYER.