Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-02-17
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.
THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANc-
ING THE FURNITURE,
Mrs. Blanks Mania For Changing
the Appearance of the Rooms
Brought Trouble to the Male Con.
tingent ana Sorrow to Herself.

tne Appearance OF the Rooms
Brought Trouble to the Male Con.
tingent ana Sorrow to Herself.
do you change the position of the
furniture when you clean a roomr
inquired housewife No. of friend in
the course of heart to heart talk.
DO /? Why, yes, indeed! / don't
feel as II the room is cleaned unless
change the furniture little bIt. Do
your
well, usually change the orna.
ments around and SO forth, but In the
spring and fall like to change every.
thing in room-completely alter the
whole appearance of it. Then I fancy
the things are all new, and they seem
to look prettier somehow. But, do you
know, my husband doesn't like 1t at
allv'
Neither does mine Isn't that singu-
lar? Men are so peculiarp'
Yes, indeed they are"
So many housekeepers share the
views OF these two that a story with
a moral will not be out of place.
1t was the other night only that Mr..
Blank went unsusplciously up stairs to
bed at an unusually early hour, leaving
his wife reading in the sitting room.
He had headache and carried a gob-
let Of water in his right hand. Fear
lessly advancing into the dark bed
room Mr.. Blank suddenly felt both legs
! CinIpnflU t1r1Hpr hin, N
| clutched wildly at the air and said
several things of an explanatory ma
ture, but there was nothing to save
him. He went down.
Good gracious Henry" CALCULATED
Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the scene Of
disaster. "What Is the matter? ?
Where are you2 Why don't you light
the gas?" Suitng the action to the
word she beheld her husband sprawl
Ing across the bed the glass lie had
carried had discharged its contents
across the plllowshums and shivered on
the floor
Mi Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that of all
the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the. worst. He
said 1t was pretty thing for man to
walk into his own room and lmve to
rail- over things in the dark. He said
he wouldn't stand it, the furniture
must be replaced where it formerly
stood.
II shan't do anything of the kind"
replied Mrs. Blank. 1T looks very
much nicer where It Is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when you
get into dark room?'
"S'pose you'd like me to craw, in on
all fours!" snarled Mr. BLANK. II
couldn't feel where the bed was unless
l happened to touch the footboard.
thought could walk clear over to the
bureau. l tell you it's confounded
crank you have on this subject Some
day you'll preclpltate a serious accl-
dent"
IF any one precipitates, it'll be you,
i should think" retorted Mrs. Blank
icily. And the furniture remained
where 1t was.
1t was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry a pile of
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had a bottle of
Ink In his hand. and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of his peregrina-
tions in search oft, however, he came
into violent collision with the glass
door Of the bookcase, which he broke.
There were also lnky traces discernible
ON the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
In. This time there was some balm for
her Feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did 1t with the best will I'm
the world.
Her own downfall was not long In
coming, however, although for few
days only minor inconveniences were
met with, such as the abrasion of an
kles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles. Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage Of her pet parrot from the
window where 1t spends the day to the
snug corner where 1t passes the night.
She did not trouble to light the gas, and
by some unaccountable mental lapse
she had forgotten the precise point at
which tabouret, on which stood a jar
dinlere was stationed. She charged
Into the tabouret with considerable
force, was oyerbalanced by the weight
or the cage in her arms and took
header with resounding crash. The
parrot shreked, and. unable to distin-
gulsh friend from foe. inflicted severe
bite on her mistress finger Mr.. Blank
came In hurricdly, picked up his wife
and assisted in making an inventory rf
sundry contusous. Then they lftei
the parrot cage. badly bent, and the
1ardnlere with piece Clipped out of
1t and the tabouret somewhat scratch.
ed, and then Mr.. Blank observed quiet
ly:
81 have Just one thing to ask you,
Mrs. Blank. Was rightY'
mo, you were not" retorted Mrs.
Blank savagely. "Serious accident?
What's serious about this, ! should like
to know? For goodness sake, Henry,
don't stand there trying TO look like
martyr! If you must have the furnl.
ture moved back, Ill move it." And
she did.-Phlladelphi Record.
Preoccupation.