Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-02

We are mighty fond of chicken, and
any farmer who wants the Leader, the
best weekly paper in the county, can
get it for a whole year for four young
chickens. Send 'em in.
The above brief but pointed para
graph appeared in last weeks issue OF
our esteemed contemporary, the Will
Transport Leader. Our other es-
teemed contemporary, the Baltimore
Sun, taking it as text, prints
lengthy and suggestive editorial upon
the good that may grow out of the
proposition. The Sun says that this
conversion of chicken into literature
may work wonders for Williamsport.
Everybody will, or ought to, go at
once into raising chickens, and the
Leader will be in every family to the
edifcation and instruction of the mem
bers thereof. Says the Sun;
People will be attracted to Williams
port as a center of brain activity; II
will become a conference town and
religious fountain head; it will pro-
mote the poultry industry and the BUS
mess of manufacturing incubators. III
will not be long before the Leader VIII
have an annual income of many thous-
and chickens. and if the editor should
continue to crafty his taste for poultry,
he may be able before the cold weather
sets in to grow fine suit OF feathers
and bid defiance TO the coal strike.
Then he will doubtless crow over his
less fortunate neighbors. Later on he
NAV add a duck department to his cir
culation, and he may even receive geese
in exchange for Leaders.
We agree with all the above. This
offer of the Leader may make Will
Transport such center Of culture and
education that Hagerstown will be.
come an insignificant suburb and Dick
Hamilton a mere reporter for the Lea
der. Methodist preachers may flock
there from every part OF our country
scientists and solons may add thous-
ands to its population. But the Sun
goes too far in another direction. At
ter congratulating the Leader on Its
prospects in being able to have chick
en- pie whenever it wants and chicken
soup every day, it holds out to editor
McCardell the false hope that he may
also obtain gizzards enough to make
him look pretty. Wefeel it our duty
to rebuke the Sun for encouragement
to vanity and this invitation to GER
tain disappointment. If the editor
of the Sun has never seen the editor
of the Leader, of course he is excusable.
If he has, how can he intimate that
anything can ever transmogrify bis
physiognomy into features of beauty ?
1t is impossible. We hate to be SO
plain, but the truth is best in this case.
If every hen in the United States and
Canada should steadily lay an egg
every day, including Sundays, for the
next six months, and then if every
hen should set upon thirteen eggs and
hatch every one, with all the incuba-
tors in the country going at full ca
pacity at the same time, and If every
chicken so Matched should have three
gizzards, and every fowl should be sent
the Leader on subscription, and If
Editor McCardell should eat every
gizzard-even then there would be
no hope that he would become beau
tiful. No, no Notwithstanding the
fact that his wiie is one of Shepherds
to'7n's prettiest and most charming
ladies, those who have once gazed up
on the mug that Editor McCardell Is
afflicted with must realize at once and
conclusively that no offspring of hlS
will ever take prize in beauty show