The Lamar register., 1902-04-09
Old S1ouch'a
Dilemma

lOnR-d10t4nce authof OF tne Woriu. ~
WAS his proud boast that he had once
written two complete and hair raising
novels of about 100000 words each
within the space of six working days,
and he was wont to aver with conf
dsncs that he could repeat the per-
formnncs with one hand tied behind
him.
He was known to tens of thousands
Of youthful readers of red, yellow and
pink fiction as "Old Slouch." and he
wrote of strange and weird happen
ings In strange and weird places in
manner yet more strange and weiId.
Old SLOUGH had started life as
printers devil" In the Office of the
Firesids Reflector, but he was am
bilious and room became an Office boy.
Then he took to night school and made
such progress in the three RS" that
his culture was recognized in due time
by an advance to the position of copy
reader, in which capacity he was called
upon to read several million words
from the accomplished pen of "Cali-
fornia Charlie" who was at that time
the mainstay Of the fiction department
Of the Reflector.
messenger arrived in hot haste from
the lodgings of "Californin Charlie" to
report that the gifted author was un-
able TO finish the concluding Install
msnt of his thrilling novelette, en-
titled: "Three-Fingered Steve; or.
The Cowboys Curse" for the reason
that he was greatly incommoded by
the presence in his room of three pink
and-blue zebras with yellow polka
dots and six old-gold lizards with
purple tails.
The editor was In despair, for the
Reflector must go to press in six hours,
until the new copy reader volunteered
70 finish the story from the point
where the lizards had SO incontinently
interrupted it. This he was allowed to
do, and he accomplished his task with
such success that when, n few months
later, California Charles acquaint-
aneeship with reptiles and such land
I'd him in the incurable ward the f1-
turs Old SLOUGH stepped easily and
gracefully into his place.
Probabilities never hampered Old
Slouch. What his readers wanted were
improbabilities, nor would they even
bAlk At an occasional impossibility.
which was just as well. In the most
successful of his works, tale of ro-
nance and adventure entitled: "Wick-
Cd Bill; or, The Dnuntless Hero Of
Bloody Gulch," the talented author
lsndsd his people on the rocky shores
Of one of the Fiji islands. shipwrecked,
starving, and defenseless. Up rushed
Q band of cannibals bent on a good
meal. Did they get it? "Over my dead
body" said Old Sloueh to himself and
he wrote:
TT 20 chancsd that our hero had
oncs known a Fiji islander in San
Francisco and from him had learned
the language of those parts. He there
fore addressed the leader of the band
in the vernacular. Amazement seized
The savage cannibals. They dropped
thsir cruel weapons, grasped Bills
horny hand, and hailed him as q broth
or. They were saved!"
But with assured success languor
ovsrtook Old SLOUGH. Only when he
was penniless could he be induced to
write, and that was why he sa t one May
morning with his feet upon the win
dow sill, looking out over the neigh
boring chimney pots, although he had
jaSt received an urgent demand for the
hrs% chapters of "Shivering Sara; or,
The Counterfeiter's Stratagem." He
bad s6 cents in his pocket. Why should
b toll? Why, indeed?
Il was at this moment that he had y
csA from his friend Jake Mosenthal,
ths corner. He often took delight in
- al a
b that Jake's father was his uncle, al
though he himself was not related to
Jake. Jake had holiday and he was
planning sailing party. A friend of
his had loaned him a catboat that lay
some few miles up the sound. and
Jake and his sister were going to take
. sail. Wouldn't Old SLOUGH join them2
Old Slouch thought of the SO cents and
guessed he'd better not.
"Oh. come on" coaxed Jake. ITS
Ane day and Tim Monahan's going
md Sally Paterson, too. What's the
matter with you, anyhow" Had it
bssn anybody but Jake Old SLOUGH
would have had no compunctions about
borrowing, but he did not care to bor-
row from Tilly's brother because
veil, there were reasons.
At the mention of Tins name, how
ever, Old Slouch pricked up his ears.
He shrewdly suspected that Tim was
not far behind him in his appreciation
Of the good points of Jake's sister.
Moreover, he was quite sure he could
borrow from Tim certain coin of the
realm. At length he decided to go,
and Jake departed with an injunction
~ he Sure and meet the nf hers a ! the
Long Island City station at ten o'clock.
One cent for a morning paper, five
osnts for an elevated ticket, and three
n L..