Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-08-02
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Mrs. Hoon-The deacon is such a
good man. Mr.. Hoon-Yes; but some
times fancy his halo is a trine too
small for his head-Puck.
Barber-Wlu you have anything on
your face when | have finished, sir?
Nictiin-I do not know. But | hope
you'll leave my nose at least.-Tid-B Bits.
Blonde Bridesmaid The ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
the family Other Bridesmaid SISTER
to the bride)-No, she only sent a
pickle fork life
With Il String: Little Johnny--My
paws Republican. What's your paw2
Little Geogie-He says he's independ-
ent, but nav outlines his foreign
policy,-Chicago Record-Herald.
Possible; Uncle Stephen - Sarie,
here's a piece bout how they're tellc-
grutlin 'thout wires. by inks' |
woodent be spriSed 80 hear next tibet
they're sendin' letters 'thout postage
atamps.-Judge.
An Awkward Deadlock: why are
| lhtN hut SlcdhutS hSS quar- tich
about which loved the other more"
| "Wel?' "And now each is afraid TO
give in for fear OF offending the other"
Brooklyn Life
| lie had asked the Boston maiden for
! kiss. "Oh, sir she cried, blushng,
II have never been kissed in MI my
life" "Well, l suppose somebody has
| got to break the ice" replied the
practical young man,
Preparing for the start; Mercy!
where did you get all the booksY
why, I'm trying to read up n few Of
| them so as to know what to take away
to read when | leave for my summer
! vacation. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Thoughtful Girl: Madge- Dolly
ls going somewhere with that young
man this evening, Mariorie-Ycs GO
ing to sit with him in the hammock.
Right after dinner she went upstairs
and put on - dark shirt-Waist - Port
land Orcgonian
Citrate Why don't You come to
church, John2 Come next Sunday. will
You? Iohn--'Ow long do 1t last. sur?
Curate-Oh not very long. About an
hour or so. John--Lor', bless yer. EUR
it hain't worth while changing yer
shirt for't, Sketch.
Miss Fairfax Good mawin', Aunt
Caroline. Why amt you washin' now
adays? Aunt Caroline removing her
pipe from her MOUTH Well you see,
Miss Clara, Is bin ont o wuhk so long
dat now, when | could wuhk, | finds
rs done los nah taste 70 lt.-Judgc
WHY'S Reply: willy met our new
minister on the way to Sunday-school.
mamma, and he asked me if | ever
| played marbles on sunday Mother
HIM And what did you say to that?
Willy said: Get thee behind me,
Satan. and walked right off and left
him-Tid Bits.
why do you carry that umbrella.
little boy? It's not raining NO, sir
And the suns not shining" NO,
sir "Thcn why do You carry IT."
"WcH, when it's raining pa wants it,
ana when the suns shining ma wants
it. ana it's only this kinder weather
can get to use it at all
Mrs. IIicl<sy (who is nlcltaiuIng her
little sons playmate, aged FIVE, to din
ncr,- Willie, can you cut your OWN
meat? Willie (who is struggling with
a piece on his plato Yes, thank you
! with desperate saw ut the beef, I've
cut twice as tough meat "a this at
home Glasgow Evening Times.
1t is told Of learned professor, WHO
was better at Greek than golf, that
after Il round on the links in which he
had foozicd most Of his shots, he turn
I to his caddie for advice MS to improving
his play. The reply of the ruthless
caddic was: "Yc see. sir, It's easy to
teach laddics Latin and Greek, but it
needs "A head for &oWf
Really Ratified; Did you feel at all
| nervous when you got up to read your
essay on The Essentials Of the Es
scntially Essential before that
crowdY' Yes the sweet girl grad
uate replied; Il was awfully upset
had noticed just as / walked ont upon
the stage, that my left shoc-string was
united "-C Chicago Record Herald.
Fate: once there were two beautiful
white eggs laid side by side in nice
new nest. 4 great big man gathered
them up with his rough hands and sold
them 70 Z grocer And one little egg
was n good little egg, and went into an
angel cake, but the other little egg
was a very, very bad little egg and got
mashed on an actress. Town Topics
Terrible to Think OF: What makes
you look SO sad and solemn a man
told me this morning that | looked just
Ike J. Picrpout Morgan But why
do you allow that to trouble your II
was just thinking what a horrible vie
tim Of wrong ! was II maybe him ana
me was changed IN our cradles when
we was babies - Chicago Record Her.
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