The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-03
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
He and the Old Man Snyder Ex-
change Views.


Dot old man Snyder vhas anoder
frendt of mine. He comes in my shop
When 1 don't hat something's to do und
vhas feeling blue und says:
Hans, listen to me. Honesty vhas
always der best policy init a man who
intends to beat you
IF 1 vhas liar und somebody says
so, yhas VERY mad abOudt 1t. what
hurts is to get found out
Truth vhas mighty und shall pre-
vail, but no particular date vhas set
for it. Meanwhile der number of liars
vhas on der increase every day.
"One time man owes me SIS, und 1
vhas going to lick him because he
doan' pay. He praises my dog, und I
lend him SIS more.
I have always believed dot Nature
made big mistake in SO creating man
dot it vhas impossible for him to kick
himself NIT any satisfaction.
Money doan' bring happiness, but if
somebody doan' have der cash When he
wants clam chowder he has moral
right to believe dot something vhas
wrong nit humanity.
4 have sitted on a log und fished all
day und got no bites, und l have gone
again und caught a dozen fish in an
hour. So far as I can remember
der other. 1t vhas der anticipation
und not der fish dot counted.
If man hangs out a sign of Look
Out For Paint you can walk on or
door. Ho doan' expect you to take his
word for it, und he sells soap for re-
moving tar, grease, paint und so forth.
1T vhas a great difference between
law und justice. If you strike your
neighbor, it vhas law dot makes you
pay SO fine; If dot neighbor builds up
high fence und shuts off all your
windows, it vhas justice dot makes you
sell out at half price
Sometimes man comes to me und
likes some advice. If my advice vhas
just like he thinks himself, he vhas
pleased und says 1 vhas wise MAJ.
und good fellow. If it vhas opposed
to him, he says 1 vhas a fool und goes
away mad.
Zone time in my life met an honest
man. I lost 10 cents on der street,
und he found it und come to my house
und woke me up at midnight to restore
1t to me und ask me for 25 cents re-
ward
When Snyder says all dot, he smokes
und smokes und keeps quiet for ten
minutes, und l wonder If he doan' go
to sleep When he says:
Hans, did somepody tell you I vhas
gone back on electricity"
mo; vhas dot SOP" I says.
1T vhas as true as you live. I shall
have nottings more to do with dot cleo
trlclty. vhaS hurt in my feelings till
can't stand her no more. MY tele-
phone goes oudt of der house yester-
ady, und doan' ride on der trolley car
no more.
You hat some trubbles eh?''
1t vhas all trubbles. Hans; it vhas all
trubbles. You know What a telephone is
of course? Well, I get one in my house.
She goes by electricity. If you want 30
spoke to somepcdy, you yell Hello. heuoi'
hat dot telephone put in ind vhas proud
of her. I spheaks to der brewer, my son
spheaks to some young men, und my old
woman spheaks NIT her sister It seems
like he vhas all right, but by und by dot
bell goes r-r-r-r-r und somepody says:
'Helloi Helloi Helloi Was dot old Snv-
vhas der biggest liar in America und 1 gif
$40 if l could punch his headtr
He says like dot to me, Hans und
can't see him nor tell who he vhas nor
do nottings. I shump oop und down und
yell at him und shake my fist, but he
laughs at me and says 1 shall rub my head
init sandpaper. Do you belief 1 can sthand
/ dot?"
of course not. Mr. Snyder: of course
not I says. Dot vhas hard talk for
YOU
1T vhas so hard I can't eat my dinner.
Some odder time When I vhas asleep in my
bed dot bell goes r-r-r-rri again, und I
wake up und run to dot telephone und say
who vhas dere? Somepody says:
4" Hello, Mr.. Snyder, vhas dot you? Was
you asleep Mr.. Snyder? If you vhas l beg
your pardon but I shust like to ask if
you hat any hayseed for sale
Gould kill dot man, Hans? Could I kill
him dead init one punch? You can't kill
nopody by telephone If you shake your
fist at him, he doan' see it. If you kick at
him, he doan' feel it.You hat to go back to