davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-09-09

lobster salad. After Anthony had
stuck one of his generals for tie
drinks because that person had an
nounced too hastily that he gave 1t up,
Cleopatra told Anthony that the diff
ference was that the salad wasn't all
lobster.
Anthony did not understand this
joke till his dying hour.
Then there was the famous joke that
Queen Elizabeth made when she tele-
phoned to the tower one night and
asked Sir Walter Raleigh what was
the difference between him and a man
who was drunk. When he gave it up
she said in her merry way that it was
because the man who was drunk
would have head on in the morning.
This was not only a joke but true.
Queen Elizabeth was strong on true
Jokes She convulsed her whole court
by telling Mary Stuart that she was
afraid she would soon lose her fine
head of hair if she kept it in the harsn
/ British climate too long. Mary didn'
| believe it, but when it was too late she
| found that all the hair restOrers in the
| country weren't strong enough to get
to the root of the disease.
There never was a more practical
Joker than Helen. She started the
first Troy laundry by inducing all her
friends and relatives to wash their
dirty linen before the walls. 1t was a
| great success and some of the first
! families of Greece amt been able to
hold their heads up since.
Inducing a general wash of this kind
is one of the favorite directions .fcr
| womans sense of humor. When dis
| cussing witticisms of this kind, wo-
| man displays one great improvement
over man. No matter how old any
part of the story is, none of those
| present ever stops any of the Others
from telling it over and over again.
| New York Press.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-09-09
HIS LEG BROKEN ALL RIGHT.
But a Carpenter, Not a Surgeon, Was
Needed by This Bowery Wayfarer.
(New York SUM-

The homegoing crowd was streaming
up the Bowery one evening last week.
In the heart of it limped a long
whiskered. stoutly-built man who
looked as if he might be a clerk or "a
mechanic of the better paid class.
In lodging a. wagon at one of the
eros streets his foot slipped and he col
lapsed in heap on the pavement, one
leg doubled up beneath him. A dozen
persons tried to help him to his feet
but the man only groaned and walled
something in a tongue no one else
could understand. 1t was clear, though
that he couldn't walk and the leg
doubled at an angle at which no-sound
limb could be bent indicated where the
trouble was.
His legs broken" decided half
dozen persons at the same time.
a policeman shoudered his way
through the crowd took one look at
the limb and came to the same con-
clusion. Somebody else volunteered to
telephone fer an ambulance and start
ed away to do SO. The policeman find
ing that he couldn't understand what
the injured man said. busted himself
,
the crowd discussed the victim.
Poor beggar, he'll not walk again in
months. I've had leg broken myself
an | know what it is remarked one
sympathetic bystander.
woman was sure that zone of them
drafted banana skins was responsible
The crowd increased and with its num-
bers the sympathy grew, till the am
bulance ratified up, and the surgeon
hurried to the wounded mans side.
Broken leg. doc explained the cop
''Only thing is / can't get the feller's
name"
The surgeon knelt at the mans side.
Strengthened out the leg, felt it. turned
up the trousers and took a close look.
then sprang up and faced the police
man.
''See here. officer, if this is joke it's
pretty poor one," said he "Tll see
about you"
"G'wan, doc. what's up?" returned
the puzzled cop. Sure his legs broke,
amt it?"
"Of course it's broken" snapped the
surgeon. But he wants a carpenter.
not doctor. It's wood, man, wood. -
And the ambulance ratified away
while the cop aHid derisive laughter
hustled the crowd away with his night
stick and yanked the man with the
broken wooden leg into the nearest sa-
loon.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-09-09
EIGHTY=FIVE CENTS
FROM AUGUSTA TO
LEWISTON,
Via. Augusta. Winthrop & Gar.
diner Railway to Winthrop.

The Augusta, Winthrop G. Gardiner
Railway is now in operation to Win
throp and until further notice cars will
leave Augusta for Winthrop every half
hour from 5.45 A. NJ. to GAS p. M.
And will leave Winthrop for AUGUSTA
every half hour from 7 A. M. to II p.
NJ, connecting at Augusta with electric
cars for the National Home at Togus,
HailoweIl & Gardiner. Connections
made at Augusta and Winthrop with
trains on M. c. r. r. This is the short.
est and most direct way from AUGUSTA
to Lewiston, Pennington and all points
on M. c. r. r. from Lewiston to Oak
land.
The most of the distance from Au-
gusta to Winthrop is over our own
right of way and skirts the shores of
Lake Maranocook and Cobbosseccontee,
two Of the most celebrated lakes in cen.
tral Maine, passing b~ The Halloweii
Quarries and State Muster Ground.
Connectionsare made at Lake Maran.
ocook with steamer for Maranocook.
The ride from Augusta to Gardner is
along by the side of the kennebec river
and is admitted to be one Of the most
pleasant electric car rides in the State.
In going from Augusta to the National
Home at Tosus the road passes by the
State Insane Asylum and the view from
the cars at this point on the line is
most pleasing to the eye, taking in the
whole City OF Augusta, the State Capt.
to' and the valley of the kennebec for
distance of several miles. ,s
togus speaks for itself, as its repu-
tation as a point of interest to tourists
Is very widely known. The Home
Band, Prof. Theme leader, is one Of
the best in the country And concerts
are given every day except Monday at
p. NJ. The deer park containing
many kinds Of animals, and the beauti-
fu' grounds are all that can be desired.
Thousands Of people visit this Homo
every month in the year and are shown
every courtesy by the officers of the
Home and the guards on duty.
The shortest way to reach the State
FAIR Grounds at Lewiston from 81.
0usta is by this road.
IF. TAYLOR,
Superintendent.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-09-09

There is a sword on exhibition at
Belfast. Ireland, of more than local in
terest. 1t was formerly carried by
William of Orange, and was given by
him to the first Earl of Portland, who
afterward was Governor of jamaica
The weapon passed through many
hands. and about 100 years ago came
into the possession of the Balfour fam
lily, where it now is. The hilt of the
sword is of ivory, carved to represent
the Flemish lion trampling on the
dogs of France
Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-09-09

night. Against these little hous= lizards
war. chasing them about the wane 80
ceiling of the house. Mosquitoes and die9
are usually with us. Ine Ivwei .nc
house and the nearer a swamp the great
er the number Of these. At night the
fame Of a lamp attracts grasshoppers,
serious pest, when they come in numbers.
IL is preferable to sit with no light, avoid
ing the grasshoppers and seeing to ad-
vantage the bamboo trees afiame with
nreflies, sparkling like myriads of dia-
Inonds against dark sky. The effect IS
quite like an illuminated Christmas tree
Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-09-09

The Japanese eat more fish than any
other people in the world. With them
meat-eating is foreign Satisfaction.
confined to the rich, or, rather 10 those
rich people who prefer 1t to the ma
tiOnal diet
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
PICNIC OF THE W. H. A. c.

The arrangements for the picnic of the Washington Hill Athletic. club at the Driving park Saturday afternoon have been practically completed and the big bill of sports and the other amusements will be as entertaining as any which have appeared at the park thus far this season. One of the most interesting contests will be the game between the Moonlight and Sunshine Athletic clubs, the leaders in the Greater Waterbury Amateur league in the race for the cup, for a purse and side bet. A large crowd has already evinced its intention of being pres ent by buying tickets, and little sun shine on that day is the only require ment to make the picnic and carnival great success.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
THE SIDEWALK COLLAPSED.
Several People Looking at Wounded
 Man Were Injured.

Chicago, July BOA sidewalk in front of 343S Halsted street collapsed last night while it was crowded with men, women and childreK, who were watching a wounded man being carried to doctors office, and fifty persons were dropped ten feet. Four were badly injured and a dozen more were bruised. The wounded man who was being carried into the building was Enos Daley. He was probably mortal ly wounded by pistol shot supposed to have been inflicted in a brawl near Thirty eighth and Morgan streets. The crowd had gathered, drawn by curios- ity on hearing the shooting.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30

,2oc Table Oil Cloth, two days
 more at 15c 25c Window Shades, two days
 more at 19c 35c Fringed Window Shades, two
 days more at 25c 121ac Muslin and Lace, two days
 more at s1kc 39c and 69c Brussels and Irish
 Point Lace, two days more at 19c 1215c Silkaline, two days more at 6c 19c Fancy Denims and Tickings,
 two days more at 1Oc Bamboo Veranda Screens, two
 days more, SxS, 75c, were $1.15;
 10xS, S9c, were $1.35
 Grass Lawn Seats, were Sc, two
 days more at 5c 25c Satine Lambrequins, two days
 more at 19c Two days more of the S1O0 Tele-
 scope Bags 75c Ruffie Muslin Curtains, 27a yards
 long, with full ruffles, were 59c,
 two days more at 39c Two days more of those Collars
 and Cuffs. Laundry and Stamped
 Denim Table Covers at 15c Stamped Collar Tops, 1c each oldhaped Deillu 4 HOW 1OpS, sc eacl Battenburg Braid, 1c yard Cowhide Dress Suit Gases, S2.75 Hand Bags, soc S3.50 Canvas Covered Trunks, $2.49 LAST DAY OF SHOE SPECIALTIEs FROM THE PRE-INVRNTORY
 SALE.
 Ladies' DongoIa Kid Patnet Tip
 Oxfords, worth $125, for to-
 night and Thursday S9c Ladies Dongola and Velour Ox-
 lords, patent and kid tip, with
 extension sole or imitation turn,
 good serviceable shoe for every
 day wear, made of solid leather,
 our regular price $1.50, tonight
 and Thursday $119 Ladies $2.50 OXfords, Patent Kid,
 Vici Kid and Dongola; we have
 them in all sies in all the most
 recent shapes, exceptionally
 good value at $2.5Q tonight
 and Thursday $1.S9 Ladies $2.5O Nu-Idea Patent, vici
 and Dongola Shoes, heavy and
 light weight soles, strong line
 for a little money, for tonight
 and tomorrow $d.98 Ladies $200, $2.50 and $500
 Shoes in small sizes, 69c Misses and Children's Tan Shoes,
 the $1.50 quality, 79c Misses $1.50 and $2.o0 Shoes, cap
 toe and plain toe, sizes g, 10,
 and II, 6ec
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
rroIIey Car wreckers Arrested.

ROCHESTER,, N. r., July 30.-The gang of men who attempted to wreck a car on the Rochester and Summer vile trolley line last Sunday evening and caused rear end collision, ill which many were injured, have been arrested on the charge of violating q section of the penal code which has reference to the placing of obstruc- tions on the line of an electric road, thereby endangering the lives of pas sengers. The men who comprise the gang, all of whom were under the in- f1uence of liquor at the time, are Hen- ry Kuhn, Philip Vanderward of Roch- ester and three Irondequoit men, whose names are Rauser, Slecher and Split. One of the men, Kuhn, has con- fessed. They will have hearing later,
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
BROOKLYN BRIEFS

Miss Kittie Cassins of Bank street is spending her vacation with friends in Hartford.
 Mir and Mrs Thomas McInerney of Brooklyn, N. Y, are the guests of Mrs $. Mitchell of Bank street.
 Mrs Sarah Horigan and family of Bank street have returned from an ex- tended visit to Boston.
 Daniel and Miss Mary O'Brien of Poplar avenue are spending vacation in Bridgeport and New York.
 Miss Nellie Lynch of James street and Miss Margaret Smith of South Main street are enjoying a vacation in Morris.
 Miss Fitzgerald of Bridgeport has returned home after visit with Pat rick McGrath and family of Poplar avenue.
 Mrs Bridget Horigan and family of 995 Bank street, and her nieces, Mary and Katherine Dwyer, have re- turned from a vacation at Walnut Beach.
 "A party of young ladies from this section are merrily enjoying yaca- ton at Walnut Beach, where they have rented a cottage. Among those in the party are Annie and Mary John son, Julia Larkin and Mary Broderick.
 Whats the matter with the Hard ware Hall club? Little has been heard of this well known organization for some time and consequently many persons are wondering whether it is still in existence. Undoubtedly 1t is, for the members are not the kind of persons who would permit such val nable organization to drop out of ex- istence. No doubt word will be heard soon to the effect that several members of the club are preparing for their annual cruise along the sound.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
ADOLPH MANNE'S s CASE.
Adjourned for Thirty Days-Denies That He Took Moe Harris's Goods.


 The charge of theft against Adolpk Name was the only business in the city court to-day. Name was de- fended by Attorney LawIor and plead not guilty. He was charged with the theft of $35 worth of brnndies, wines and cordials, the property of M. Har- ris, at Forest park Monday evening. The first witness was Emil Sprilege, the chef employed by Name He gave vivid description, in rather poor English. of the alleged theft. He aGIu'iie ed that he is one n. Names .GNljt s and that fa had sn attach. ment put on his East Main street store for services rendered.
 Tn the afternoon Name sold his irl- terest in the place to Horrigan & Han- na, the lessees of the park, and he was clearing up preparatory to leaving. The goods were packed in ice cream cans and boxes and pails. Some of them were covered over with corks, some with paper and some were in the original package. It was the 1at- ter that were first discovered by MT Harris. Ehe finding of them out of the closet aroused his suspicion and an investigation showed that the whole closet had been cleaned out. Sprileges the chef, admitted cleaning it out.
 MT Harris testified that Name claimed the goods to be his and de- fled Harris to do anything about it. Harris said Name knew all about the goods being in the closet, and that he, Harris told him he could buy them from him whenever he wanted to. Name, on the other hand, denied knowing the first thing about the goods; that he was on the premises when the goods were packed up. He gave no orders to the chef to pack up anything. He said business had been bad for the past six weeks on account of the weather and he was glad. of an opportunity to sell. He did not touch a thing on the premises; all the work of packing up was done under, his wife's orders. When the declaration was made that he had been found in the act of taking goods that did not belong to him. Name said he merely told MT Harris that he wanted only what belonged to him, but MT Harris said that Manne insisted that the goods were his and defied him to do anything about his taking them. Judge Bur- pee thought the matter could be ada justed out of court and adjourned the case for thirty days. '
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
NUTMEG CRAVINGS.
Interesting Items Boiled Down for the
 Benefit of Our Busy Readers.

interesting Items bolled DoWn TOT tue
 Benefit of Our Busy Readers.
 The teamsterss strike in Hartford remained in about the same condition yesterday as it was Monday. Both sides appeared to be very confident, and judging by what the draymen said they had the better of it as their work was not interrupted to any ex- tent.
 John F. Lewis, an attendant at the hospital for the Insane, Middletown, shot himself some time early yester- day and is in precarious condition. He was found yesterday afternoon ly- ing in a pool of blood in the summer kitchen about forty feet from the old Hubbard house, where he resides
 The motormen and conductors on the Fair Haven and Westville road or- ganized union last night under a charter from the American Federation of Labor, and it is said that three- fifths of the men have enrolled them- selves in it. It is generally believed that a Strike of the local trolley men is unavoidable and the resultant blow to business in general is awaited with no little anxiety.
 William F. Ewen, we'll known shoemaker of Ansonia, committed sui- eide by swallowing carbolic acid in a vacant lot on Winter street yesterday morning, within few rods of his home. Ewen, who had not been home since Saturday, was seen to pass the house by one. of the members of the family about 9 o'clock in the morning and make his way to the va- cant lot at the corner of Fourth street opposite the house, where he swal- lowed the dose.
 Charles the years old son of An- drew McIullen of Westport, picked I'D a loaded 22 caliber rife, tempor- arily laid on table last evening, and calling. Look out, I'm going to shootn pulled the trigger. The bullet saruck George McMullen, years Olds brother of Charles, entering the tem~ nle and resulting i'll death at 8 o'clock this morning. The child has no ap. preciation of what he has done and has been sent to Norwalk until after the funeral of his brother.
 Sabin S. Carpenter, B. K. Smith and Anthony w. Kenyon of Putnam had lucky escapes from death yesterday. They were at work on staging forty feet from the ground on a chimney on the High school building, when without a warning it collapsed. Car- penter and Smith went headlong to the ground while Kenyon caught board on the roof, where he hung several minutes before he could get back on the slanting roof. Carpenter and Smith were picked up unconscious and were taken to their homes. Both were badly bruised. s Gs,,A
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
Unprecedented RainfnF,.

ITHACA, N. Y, July 30.-Directol A. G. Allen of the Cornell branch oi the United States weather bureau an nounces the rainfall here thus far il the present month has reached the re markable figures of GOT inches, an in crease of 60 per cent over the average for June, which was 3.76 inches. The total for the first twenty-eight days of the present month is with one excep. ton, larger than that for the entire month during the past twenty years
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
The Texas Floods.

DALLAS, Tex, July 8O.--Trouble from the floods has shifted from the extreme west to more southern DOT tions of the state. Reports from Heanres and Calvert, on the Houston and Texas railroad, show that more heavy rains have fallen, and the con- ditions are becoming more serious hourly. The town of Bosque, just west of Waco, is surrounded by water. No loss of life is reported. The conditions west of the Texas and Pacific are im- proving
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
WORK ON THE BOARD WALK.
South Main Street Merchants will
 Soon Have Walks Cleared.

Superintendent Kelley is hustling to . day endeavoring to push work on the board walk on South Main street, west side, from Harding's store to q point south of the burned district. There was no chance to attend to it before The storm water conduit which is be- ing continued from Scovill street to Exchange place had not progressed far enough until to-day to give people an opportunity to make a Zyalk. After the board walk is laid and the public get used to treading on it probably the merchants who have been finding fault about the condition of the street be- tween the points mentioned will forget all about the past and consider them selves lucky to find relief so soon.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
Deatb For more., A.aasafna.

TUNIS, July 30.-The trial of the assassins of the Marquis de Mores at Susa, near here, has resulted in the condemning to death of El Kheir and the sentencing of Hamma Chiekh to twenty years imprisonment. Seven teen others accused of the assassina- ton of the Marquis de Mores were sentenced in default, six to be put td death anr eleven at hard labor.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
Bishop Potter rn copenharen.

COPENHAGEN, July 30. The Right Rev. Henry c. Potter, Protestant Epis- copal bishop of New York, accompa- nied by his daughter, has arrived here and has visited local places of interest, especially charitable institutions. The bishop probably will be received in au, dience by King Chri~+ic-
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
CHILLS AND FEVER

Which would you rather have, the soc which our malaria cure costs or malaria itself? Which is cheaper2 Fitzpatrick's pharmacy, East Main and Wall streets
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-07-30
The Curran Dry Goods Go. TO-MOrTOW is the LaSf Day OfI This Pre-InVentOry Sale and
 Lt is also Our Regular
 Bargain Day.

Under these conditions the values must be the very best that is possible to oersuch you will see in the fol lowing:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-09

New York. Sept. S.-The stock mar
ket to-day exhibited remarkabl
strength in the face of a further adj
vance in call money. There was al
most complete indifference in regard
to the unfavorable character of the
bank statement as there was on Sat-
urday, when the statement was issued.
There was a common assumption
that imports of gold would be ar
ranged and If the money market
needed relief the crop situation was
favorable and the weakening of the
grain market was accompanied by an
unusually good demand for wheat.
The leader of the speculation was
Missouri Pacific. which on good pur-
chases. sold up per cent. and sold
at practically the highest. Wabash
issues were higher, as was Texas in
the last trading. The movement was
ascribed to advices representing the
large crop of corn in Missouri and
Kansas, and the advices in cotton We're
much more favorable than the last
government crop report. st. Paul was
a strong feature up to 2 per cent.
There was repeated reports that the
coal strike was nearing end and these
reports, coupled with the strong mar
ket in London. led to advance of over
per cent. in Reading, There were
gains of l per cent. and over in Union
Pacific and Southern Pacific. In the
industrials advances shown by Pressed
Steel. Republic Iron. Copper, Shelters,
Rubber and Western Union. Brooklyn
Rapid Transit led the transaction in
the afternoon. When money rates
were at the highest, many issues
reached the top of the day. Some
smaller reactions followed from profit
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-09
GRAIN. PROVISIONS. ETC.

New York, Sept. s.-Flour quiet.
Rye -four quiet. Buckwheat flour dull,
S11562.25. Corn meal firm; yellow
Western, S1.S4.
Rye easy; No. Western. 59Ac.
Barley quiet; feeding, 45c.
Wheat-Spot steady: No. 2 red, 75Ac.
Options opened weak in contrast with
Chicago f1rmness, being affected by
lower cables and foreign selling. La
ter declines were based on big world
shipments, an increase on
passage, local liquidation, and favor
able weather news. An afternoon rail-
ly on export rumors closed the mar
ket rather Arm, at &c net decline.
May, 741ac; September, 75c; Decem-
Der, 731ac.
Corn-Spot steady; No. 2. soc. OPP
lions weak early in the day. under
bearish cable news. talk of larger re-
ceipts, the decline in wheat and liqui-
dation It then rallied sharply on
covering, with the close Nc net higher,
except September, which was 2szc low
er. under manipulation. May, 44&c;
September, 65%c: December. 1890.
Oats-Spot dull; No. 2. S4c. Options
dull and easier on prospects for larger
arrivals, and with other markets.
May, S515c; December. 3515c.
Beef quiet
Cut meats steady; picked bellies,
11h@13c; do shoulders, sac: do hams,
11Ac.
Lard steady; Western steamed, 1885;
refined steady; continent. 1895; South
American, 1915; compound, 7B@SAc.
Pork steady.
Tallow dull.
Rice firm.
Sugar-Raw firm: fair refining. &c;
centrifugal So test, SIC; refined firm.
Coffee futures opened steady, with
prices 1O@15 higher, following general
advances abroad and firm ruling of
sentiment and private reports advis
ing of the failure of August Flowering
and a rather poor crop condition as
a whole Total sales were 1900 bags.
The close was steady, net to 10 points
higher.
Coffee-Spot Rio quiet; No. Z invoice,
5ssc; mild steady; Cordova, S@11Ac.
Butter firm, extra creamery, 20hc;
state dairy, 151a@191zc.
Cheese, firm; new state small and
fancy white and colored, 10Ac.
Eggs steady; state and Pennsylvania,
210022c; potatoes steady; Jerseys, 80c@
Slip; Long Island, S0c@$1.20; South
ern sweets, S2.00@2.75.
Peanuts, firm; fancy handpicked,
5AG51ac; other domestic, 31a@5zc.
Cabbage, steady; Long Island, $2.50@
800.
Freights to Liverpool, quiet; cotton,
by steam, 1212c.