The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1902-09-07
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said the maiden: 81 was tanned
Walking on the summers sand.
Said the young man walking with her:
saThat is funny. Were you, thought"
And the maiden answered Yes;
But. of course, in evening dress
You'd not notice; in bathing suit one
tans so very low
Ex-Speaker Reed loves his Jokes as
dearly in these days as ever he did in
the times when he was so, much in the
public eye in Washington, says the New
York Times.
1t is related that the other day he met
a friend from a small town in the in
terror, where in rapid succession the
cashier of its principal bank had been
found defaulter. a leading business
man had failed dishonorably and been i'm
prisoned, and the county clerk diving
there) had been convicted of misappro-
priating public funds.
Mr. Reed greeted his friend very effu-
sively shaking his hand heartily and say
ing how pleased he was to see him. The
friend somewhat surprised at the extra
ordinary heartiness, said:
Mighty glad to see YOU, Reed, but
why all this-er-?''
Why, because" replied Mr.. Reed, I'm
so very glad to see man from x
who is out of iail!'
Ping Pong stories are the latest One
good one is that while Marye was off
from her country home at college she
wrote back to NAV" that she was just
dead in love with ping-pong. There,
said her paw, what is the gal think
ing of? Here she would be bringing home
a Chinese husband. Pingpong! that's a
nice name for son-in-law, amt it?'
Here is another:
Subbub (of Seavew-by the-S swamp
Congratulate me- old man-we've got
permanent cook at last!
Newcomb-You've been drinking!
Subbub-Not on your life! 1 got your
cook hopping mad while playing ping
pong with her last night and she swore
she'd never leave the town until she won
a game from me. She can't do it-not
in a thousand years!
And a third one is:
Mrs Au Fait-We have been so for
tunate in our clergymen!
Mrs. Beau Monde-Have you?
Mrs. Au Fait-Oh, yes! The last one
was death on tennis; the one before that
got up wheel parties; and now this one
is simply crazy about ping-pong.
fourth comes from Tit-Bits and is
this:
rs the manager up-to-date?''
''Up-to-date! Why, he's just introduced
a game of ping-pong in the balcony scene
in Romeo and Juliet"
Jim Webster, colored, was before
western judge for fowl stealing, says the
Milwaukee Wisconsin. After the evidence
had been given the justice, with per-
picked look, said: But l do not under
stand, Webster, how it was possible for
you to steal those fowls when they were
roosting right under the owners window
and there were two vicious dogs in the /
Yard.''
1T wouldn't do yer a bit of good jedge, /
for me to splain how / catched dem /
chickens, for yer couldn't do it yerself /
if yer tried it 40 times, and we might get /
yer hide full of buckshot. De best way
for you to do jedge, is fur yer to buy yer I
chickens in der market, like udder folks /
do, and when yer wants ter commit any |
rasca1ity, do it on de bench, whar yer /
am at home"
Daisy Medders (who is cultured) |
do you think of Sir Walter SCOTS writ
ings, Mr.. Greene"
Jay Green (who is not)-Well, l guess
his Emulsion" is about the best thing
ne ever wrote.-Puck
Cousin Harry-So you remember when .
Uncle Tom fell through the ice? Let's |
see-that was thirty years ago, and you
say you are only twenty-four. How do
you account for that?
Cousin Harriet-Oh, pshaw! you know
well enough, Harry, that l always was a
precocious child.-Boston Transcript.
''Why in the world is Brakeman laugh
ing SO uproariously at that old story
Cashum told him just now? I've heard
Brakeman tell it himself dozen times,
years and years ago.
Probably you have but Brakeman just
borrowed FIVE from Cashum. '-Cincin
natl Commercial Tribune.
You are a victim of the trusts, are
you?' the sympathizing mistress of the
house asked him.
HYes'm'' said Tuffuld Knutt, with his +
mouth full of victuals. I'm telling you
the truth mum, wen | say that this is
the fust place out o IA whar I've had a
bite o. real meat today. Chicago
Tribune.
Il trust, Miss Cutting remarked young
Borem, as he rose to depart after a pro-
longed stay, that / have not taken up
too much of your valuable time"
Not at all Mr. Porem - renIied the
fair damsel; the time you have taken
up has been of no value to me whatever
l assure YOU.
Then he went forth into the night and
wandered homeward, wrapped in heavy
mantle of thought.-Tit- Bits.
The late DR.. Emmons, famous clergy
man of the former day. was noted for