Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-01-09
STORIETTES.

It Is said that at certain seasons in
Scotland. when the fishing is not very
brisk, the fishermen act as caddies,
and are easily recognized by their
costume, wooden jersey and trousers
braced up to the armpits. One Of
these was asked his name by the gen.
tleman for whom he was carrying.
and the reply was: "Weel, sir. here
abouts they maistley ca me 'Breeks'
but ma maiden name is Broom"
After preaching sermon on the
fate of the wicked. an English clergy
man met an old woman we'll known
for her gossiping propensities, and he
said: Il hope my sermon has borne
fruit. You heard what | said about
the place wnere there shall be wailIng
and gnashing of teeth?" We'll. as
to that" answered the dame, "if as
anythink to say, 1t be this: Let them
gnash their teeth as has 'em-I anti"
An English treasury official was
once sent over to Dublin to inquire
into the expenditure of fuel in the
courts. He was received politely by
the late Lord Morris. the famous IT.
ish law lord and wit, who said he
would put him in communication with
the proper person, and rang the bell.
When the elderly female. who acted
as court-keeper appeared. he remarked
as he left the room: MARY. this is
the young man that's come about the
Goals"
Lord Coleridge was driving toward
his court one morning in his broug-
hap xs-ha an han 10,
IN Grosvenor Square. Fearing he
would be belated, he called cab
from the street rank and babe the
Jehu drive him as rapidly as possible
to the courts of justice. "And where
be they?" What! A London cabby
and don't know where the law courts
are at old Temple Barr" ooh! the
law courts. is it? But you said courts
of Justice"
Sir Adam Ferguson describes
shooting ramble he had one day on the
high grounds near Galashiels with Sir
Walter Scott. 1t was an extremely
windy day, and coming to lonely
farmhouse in an exposed situation
they went up to it, but could get no
admission. At length a female voice
was heard within, and Ferguson called
out: What's become of the men?"
"Oh, they're ava over to Windy
doors" "a real place so named). II
think they might have been content
WI their ain DOORS" said Scott. in his
droll. dry way. as he turned his pony's
head.
A new volume of "reminiscences by
Dean Hole quotes the following extra
ordinary prayer as offered. by loyal
but certainly ridiculous English cler-
gyman on behalf of Queen Adelaide.
the wife of William the Fourth: ooh
Lord, save Thy servant, our sovereign
lady, the queen; grant that as she
grows an old woman she may become
a new man; strengthen her with Thy
blessing that she may live pure vir-
gin. bringing forth sons and daughters
to the glory Of God, and give her grace
that she may go forth before her peo-
pie like a he goat on the mountains"
On recent visit to st. Louis, Arch
bishop Ryan, a noted Philadelphia
prelate. rode in carriage to the pa
rochial residence with Bishop Glen
non. who is rather diminutive in size
and of slight build, especially in the
stomach regions. while Archbishop
Ryan is tall and very robust. AS they
alighted from the carriage Bishop Ry-
an said to his companions: Bishop
Glennon, l once was asked to explain
the difference between a bishop and
an archbisbsss answered land the
archbishop extended mss arms in
semlcircle from his own healthyabody.
at the same time glancipg rather
sharply at Bishop Glennon). the DIFF
fernce is all in the arch"
II is an avtraordinorv foot