Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-02-03
HE AWOKE.
Porter Failed Twice but Succeeded
in Third Attempt.
How Over. Smart Commercial Traveller
Was Trapped.

1
lie print makes the rash statement that
In a few short years the travelling man
will be thing of the past and the
genial knight OF the grip that blows
into your place of business, fresh from
other chimes. full Of gall and Ananias
stories that nobody pretends to believe
will be but haZy dream of bygone
days, that his star has set and that he
has outlived his usefulness.
| Now this is rather sad state of
| things to contemplate, for If this
prophecy should prove true what would
the poor girls do then, poor things For
travelling man without one or two
grille girlies In each town along his
route to watch for his coming is con-
sidered little below par and really has
no moral right to tote grip.
But the gentlemen Of the travelling
fraternity on the whole are a pretty
coed set of mortals. They haven't all
got cI0ven feet or wings. Now and then
one creeps into the fold with bristles
but he soon finds himself in too swift
company and drops back into his sty
again. AS a general thing the fellow
who kicks the hardest about everybody
and everything is the slick-looking.
over-dressed Aleck whose early advan-
tt ges were somewhat limited and until
he struck the road never knew what
the luxury of a bed was. always slept
on couch or bunk in the back hall
way, took his bath in a pulp pail on the
real porch and ate his frugal repast off
piece of figured oilcloth spread on the
ironing table. But now that he is hold
ing down a $9-a-week- and-e
job and his house is paying the freight
ne wants to give you the impression
he is Prince Henry. travelling incog,
but the fellow with half an eye who
can't see through the deception and
recognize the ass in the lions skin
ought to consult an oculist.
Now there is one pleasant. homelikc
hotel on the line of the Maine Central
where the travelling missionaries like to
hrddle together for a Sunday. They are
always pretty sure Of finding others of
the craft there and life has rosy hue
until train time on Monday morning.
Some little time ago one of these kick
ers dumped his grip in the aforesaid
hotel office and started in to run the
shack. lie made everybody bilious
with whom he came in contact. He
finally wound sup. by leaving an order
at the Office for a cali.sin the early
morning to catch the first train. The
porter went around in the proper sea-
son to call the guest and when he
thumped on the kicker's door, the kick.
Q" answered IAN right" but burrowed
down in the bedclothes again and went
To sleep. 'tt
Long after the train had departed he
CO me down to the office and growled
like fleay cur because he wasn't
called. Then he went all around the
town and bowed the proprietor and
porter up and called them all kinds of
hard names but finally to the pleasure
Of everybody departed for pastures
green.
The next time he came he went
through the same racket, went to sleep.
refused to get up and then told every
body in town the porter was Rip Van
Wrinkle and you could not wake him up
with dynamite. He made so much talk
that the porter got warm under the
collar and proceeded to lay for him the
next time he showed UP.
Last week he bobbed UP as smiling
as ever. all ready to kick and growl.
When he left his order for the morning
cal, the porter smiled the sweet old
smile and hummed a stanza from the
OH Queen Of the May ballad Of Wake
and Call Me Early" and when it came
time to go the rounds and make the
calls his face was radiant as q 10-cent
wash basin. He made all the other
calls first, then he approached the kick
er'S door and proceeded to beat a tattoo
on the panels. After while he was
rewarded by hearing the voice of the
w:.rt-hog on the inside saying, "All
right. ! amt deaf"
The porter said: 81 want to see you.
open the door" The man inside OBJ
iected and the porter declared he would
sta, there and bang on the door until
he knocked all the plastering off the
ceiling unless he showed up. The kick
er found it of no use and after some
growing he opened the door and said
III voice interspcrsed with choice adj
jeo lives: What in the devil do YOU
want? l am up." The porter never
cracked smile but handed him small
account book and pencil and in real
mild voice said: Il want YOU to sign
this book. acknowledging that you have
been called. The new rules Of the house
took effect the first of the year."
The kicker found he had been trapped
and did the only thing he could do.
signed the book and took the first train
out Of town. well satisfied that he had
bumped up against the real thing at
Lest. while the manipulation Of trunks
smiled a PARKWAY smile. and gently
murmured: II have good eye. uncle.
and can So" o church by daylight with
ont glasses,
AR~AA.r>s,M