davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
DINKELSPIELERS.

New York Journal.
Dit you efer see a woman ouid in combany
dot ate much she felt like i'd?
In desc days ven der streets vas full NIT
automobustups id doand took a mans health
long to feel all down.
An optimistical is a man dot puds fly paper
in a chair und laughs ven he accidentally sids
down on i'd.
a pessimistical is a man dot believes der
rain.
Ven a man is his own worst enemy der fight
is always to a finish.
Viskey creates a Speedway for swift peoples
to travel on bud I'd nefer mentions dot i'd
uses a chail as ids roadhouse.
Der most successful poitcianist is der vun
dot knows how TO finance his prains.
A man dot lies yust for accommodation
soon geds into der fast eggspress schedule.
Der bird called Reform always builds ids
nest In a tree called der Future.
Some people lay ub few, tollars for rainy
day und den spend DER dime Wishing for
storm.
Goot atwice is like a stubborn pig, because
d. DINKELSPIEL,
Per George v. Hobart.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
MEETING OF HoRTIcULTuRIsrs

The meeting of the Georgia Horticul-
tural society, now in session at Macon,
and the unusual interest shown in it's
work this year. presages good to that
branch of industry in this state. Too
much attention cannot be paid to it's DELHI
erations, for with so much combined abil-
ity and experience gathered together for
the advancement OF this work, much of
real value is bound to result.
1t is only within the past few years that
horticulture has begun to attain in Geor-
gia anything like the Importance that
conditions and opportunities warrant. But
thise branch of industry has of late taken
on life to a most gratifying degree, and
the men engaged In it are working for the
future on the most practical lines
So far the peach industry has been given
chief attention, and the immense profits
arising therefrom have certainly been an
incentive for the rapid development of the
business-if not the eventual OVERRIDING of
Il.
Without, however, making such a dire
prediction as the latter suggestion might
imply. IT is obviously well to consider the
other opportunities for horticultural pur-
suits which lie all around us. 1t is very
encouraging to note. in this connection,
that the Georgia Horticultural society is
directing much of it's attention along other
lines. It's program embraces discussions
on truck growing, apple raising, pecan
culture and even forest preservation, be-
sides talks on fruit growing generally. In
short diversifcation seems to be the
keynote of its aims and objects.
Without attempting to specify any par
ticular line OF development in this con-
nection, The journal cannot refrain from
noting the advantages which pecan Gull
ture offers to those engaged in horticul-
tural pursuits, as judged by the expert
ence OF those who. have tried 1t. Here is
q tree indigenous to almost every charac-
ter OF soil and degree Of climate in Geor-
gia-a tree which, ii is said, will grow
wherever hickory or almost any other nut
tree will grow. A tree hardy and long
lived and almost never failing in its pro-
ductiveness, and yielding a crop for which
there Is always ready market at good
prices and a crop too, that is not OF
perishable nature. We have been partic-
ularly gratifed to see the prominence CIV
en- to discussions Of pecan culture in the
program arranged for the present session
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
Memphis Morning News.

opinion with respect to the issues OF the
campaien. I have not sought to be-
little the tariff and trust questions, and
the whole committee agrees with US as
to the vast Importance Of the Philippines
question.
'I have discussed the question of trusts
and tariff at length In all my public
speeches. 1t is a question that is brought
home to the people In concrete form every
day in the year, and this. together with
the manifest division Il IS creating in the
ranks OF the Republican party, Is making
that issue q very effective one for the
Democrats In this campaign.
TT Is easy to arouse public sentiment
against an existing system or policy when
you can point them to It's visible pad
results and especially where 1t stands
Acknowledged and confessed by its sup
porters; but to say this does not minimize
IN the least the extreme Importance OF
the Philippine issue. Upon that ques-
ton the Democratic party has taken its
stand and It viii not falter or retreat.
cit is not true that the people at
large are taking no interest In this CUES
ton. We have constant calls for liter
allure every day and from every part OF
the country, and the committee is do
ing its best to supply the demand.
zone or two Democrats have been re-
ported as saying that there was no sub
stantial difference between the Repuon-
can Philippine bill and the substitute Of
fered by the Democrats"
ct don't believe any Democrat ever
said that. The Republican law deals
with the Philippine islands as vassal
province and looks to the indefinite con-
tinuance of a carpet bag government.
What Democrats Would Do.
'sThe Democratic bill provided for an
independent Philippine republic. There
was to be for a time an American pro-
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
New York Press.

New York Press.
Marriage is not what II is contracted to be.
A widows advantage is that she can give
references.
No girl has a right to take a kiss from q
man and not give II back to him.
The most successful discoveries are those
who let other people do the searching.
The foolishest thing a woman can do Is to
dress UP her age to make II look older.
There is nothing so foolish as trying to
tell the age of a woman by the age of her
children.
The more a man hurts a girl hugging her
the harder she wishes he could hug her
without hurting her.
When a woman in New York reads about
a panther having escaped in California, she
goes and brings the baby in out Of the yard.
Just to be sure.
great many people in this world would
DO better than they are II anybody could
make II as interesting to them as not being
as bad as they might be.
When a woman can't find anything else to
worry about, she can sit down and have a
good cry because If she were to die that minute
she wouldn't have any suitable clothes to be
buried IN.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
CARMACK ANSWERS ATTACK
OF THE REPUBLICAN PRESS

tectorate, but, in the first place. tfAR
protectorate only had to do with thel
foreign relations of the Philippine gov-
eminent leaving them in absolute COM
troll of their internal affairs, and, in thas
second place, it's maximum duration waai
eight years, at the end Of which time oun
relation with the island should cease. I
and, in the third place. even this protec<I
torate was dependent upon the consent
of the people and might be terminated BIZ
them whenever thought proper.
Nonsense of Republicans.
''To say that there was anything III
common between this and the Republi4
can policy is the baldest nonsense THAI
ever made it's escape from human
mouth. Such a statement involves the |
charge that the Democrats in both houses !
OF congress during the recent session were
simply making a sham fight over false
issue. If the people could be made to /
believe II, do not see how they could
be expected to have confidence In the sind
certify of the Democratic party on th6
question of trusts. or tariff or anything
else.
Party Should Flight II Out.
IT do not know Of anything so Welt
calculated to cover any political party
with ridicule and contempt than for 10 |
to turn tail at the first fire and ruui
away from an issue II has deliberately
made, as the Republicans here run from
the trust and tariff issues. Such is nods
the temper of Democrats in either house
Of congress. and it is not the temper OF
this committee.
Mr.. Griggs recognizes as clearly as I
do that any faltering In the Democratic
opposition to criminal aggression would /
be not only a crime from the standpoint I
of patriotism and sound principle, but On
act of momental stupidity from party
standpoint"
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
TIE MISTAKEN TOAD.

small toad woke. one morn in spring,
Brushed back his hair and tried to sing.
He felt the world was all his own,
And swelled and swelled in flesh and bone.
Though HIS conceit was purely vain,
The fault arose from his small brain.
Which only grasped part Of the plan
BY which Is ruled immortal man.
II chanc9d a band played loud that day;
A coach and four dashed on its way:
donkey prayed: a train rushed by;
A cannon doomed; a hound gave cry;
The thunder rolled; the lightning flashed;
The sun withdrew from view, abashed-
The toad sprang up, and gave shout;
ooh what a time! cause I've come out!'
II. Jay Potter. in the Smart Set.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

" in The New York Evening
Post. representing that there was sharp
difference of opinion between himself and
other members of the committee as TO
the policy of the campaign, and espe-
cially as to the trust and Philippine ques-
lions.
yes, I have seen all of that" said
Mr.. Carmack, ''but have paid very little
attention to 1t. Mr.. Griggs and Mr.. Ca
bel and I have been working along har.
uoniously, and I suppose neither OF US
has been much disturbed by the garrulity
of these correspondents.
ct saw In one paper that my course
was so displeasing to the committee that
1 would be asked TO resign. A few days
later It was said that I was hard at work
grinding out Philippine literature which
the committee refused to print. Then
the next day the white house corre-
spondent of another New York paper
made the discovery that as a matter Of
fact. 1 had abandoned the whole Philip
pine business many days ago and ad-
vanced an ingenious theory of his own to
account for it.
Hot Weather Journalists.
"These correspondents have contrived
with amazing ingenuity each TO contra
dict all the others without any OF them
telling the truth. 1t is simple a phase
of hot weather Journalism in New York.
There has been, then, no clash be-
tween you and these gentlemen on this
question:"
Must be Made.
Not in the slightest. I had frank
talk with Mr. Griggs when first reached
Washington, and there was not then, and
has not arisen since. any difference OF
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
NILES TO LOOK
AT THE WAR
GAME
Philadelphia North American.
N ENERAL MILES has decided t


4 ascertain for himself how the
army of which he is the COM
manding general acquits itself IN
the coming army and navy manoeuvres.
The arrangements for the defense OF
the New York and New England coasts
are being perfected under the direction
Of the war department, without the slight
est regard for the view Of the commanding
general. and II is probable General Miles
has obtained whatever information he
possesses regarding the matter from the
newspapers. He has some curiosity 10
find out how his army conducts itself IN
a sham battle, and he is therefore max
ing his arrangements to be an interested
spectator.
General Miles will view the proceedings
Just as he might watch similar move
ments in Germany or England, and his
interest is aroused by his professional and
expert knowledge of military science and
his desire to see how IL Is to be played In
this country. After a time General Miles
will write a report based upon operations
and will state Just what he thinks Of the
manoeuvres The report will probably be
made to the secretary of war, although
he does not want 1t. and will be preserved
as one of the official documents OF the
war department. Whether 1t VIII De
printed or not will be decided by the sec
rotary after he has read what General
Miles has to say.
In the meantime active preparations are
in progress for more ex, ensive. IL not seri-
Gus operations by the United States army
in this country than have taken place
since the civil war, and the commanding
general has been left out Of the program
entirely.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
EPUBLICAN politicians interest
ed in the congressional campaign
are inclined to speak jeeringly Of
thar frlnrda tha anannv In one

III are tuCllHeu 10 SpCdh JCSAAAASAS OE
their friends. the enemy, in one
respect, says the Washington Star.
They call attention TO the multiplicity
of issues" and superabundance Of man
ayers In the democratic ranks and think
that some benefit will accrue to the Re-
publicans thereby.
The latest incident commented upon was
the return OF Senator Carmack to the city
and his interviewer. Senator Carmack had
been away since congress adjourned, and
the Democratic managers had been plug
ging away on the trust issue. The presi-
dent had made night march on them in
his Pittsburs speech on trusts, and they
were trying to catch up and get on the
firing line again.
In the meantime the Philippine Issue"
had been lost to sight. Senator Carmack
got to town. This win never do" he
says, in effect; where's the Philippine is
ssle7 Trot il out" So he gave out an in
teEview designed to arouse interest in
that subject and declared that II would
still be to the fore as a campaign issue.
Then Senator Dubois stirred UP the
trusts again and Chairman Griggs Of the
Democratic campaign, committee took a
few shots at the question, being followed
by Representative Newlands and other
Democrats Meanwhile, ex-senator Cor
man was stacking up ammunition against
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
Teacher-How old are you. little giTIF
First Small Boy-What's your
Not a Real Indian.

do YOU remember that dark completeness
girl who was visiting the Pringles last sum-
merT
Yes
They said she had Indian blood in her
veins But I didn't believe it
why notf"
II she had been anything OF Indian she
wouldn't have married bald headed man
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Father Qmpressively)-Supp I should be
taken away suddenly. what would become Of
YOU, my boy?
Irreverent SOn-rd stay here The question
is: what would become Of youT'-Tit-Bits.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

II IS at least some consolation to think
that the doctors didn't find any new name
for what allied Clio. She was an unassum-
ing animal. and Il Is better that she
should have been allowed 20 die OF just
plain collie and calomel.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Senator Tillman IS now saying things
about Charleston Democrats. However
Il IS doubtful II he can say anything so
mean about them that they would fail
70 appreciate Il. coming from the source
IL does
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

II Mr.. Bryan is sincere IN his declara-
ton that he viii never again be a can
didate for the presidency why in the
thunder doesn't he quit rocking the boat
and let some other Democrat have a
chance at tit
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Uncle Mark Hanna as the patron saint
OF organized labor stin manages TO keep
right IN the calcium light And his last
stunt only cost his street railway en-
pIoyes the price OF a gold headed cane.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Some idea OF the nature Of their bust
ness may be gained from the fact that
many OF the great fnanciers Of the
under aliases.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Here IS further evidence OF prosperity
that the Republicans failed TO call at
tention 70 In their campaign handbook. A
Milwaukee woman dug up seven bottles OF
gold the other day in her garden.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
The Semi Weekly Journal
Entered at ire Atlanta Postofhce as Mall Mat
Ter Of ne Second Class

ne senni-weekiy Journal fs publisn-
Cd on Mondays end Thursdays, ana
mailed IN time for ell the twtee-a-
week star route mails. II contains the
newa from all parts Of the world
brought over q spectal leased wire INTO
ne Journal office. IL has stan q
distinguished contributors. with strong
AwrfculturaL Veterinary. juvenile
Home. Beck and ether Departments Of
speciat value 20 the home and farm
Agents wanted IN every community
IN the south.
RernittAncee may - made BY post
cftice money order. express money Or
Ger registered lettef. or check
Persons who send postage STAMPS u
payment for subscriptions are request-
"a % send thcse % the 2-cert denomt-
nation. Amounts larger than 81 cents
postofece order, express order. cheek
o. registered nail
Subscribers who wish their papers
charwed should give both the old ana
TIE rev rostofice address.
NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC-Ihe
oniy travelling representatives OF me
Journal are c. J. O'Farren and J. A
Bryan. Any other who represents him
self as connected with The Journal as
q travelling agent u q fraud. and We
viii be responsible only fer money PAID
90 TIE above named representatives.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Maybe II we can ever get the politicians
70 believe that this one-man-cOntrOl OF all
southern railway properties means an end
TO free passes they viii be more active
IN protecting the people against evils Of
consolidation.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

The emperor Of Japan has sent TO the British
and Foreign sailors Society, through Sir Claude
Macdonald the British minister at Toxic,
PORTRAIT Of himself for the Passmore Edwards
sailors Palace which Is the society's new
headquarters N London. The portrait Will De
bunr beside those OF the English. German,
Dutch and Russian rulers.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
A Storm.

When a real old-fashioned woman pays more
than So for a hat she regards the first rain
storm she is caught in as a judgment Of the
Lsord.-Atchison Globe.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
One TO His Credit.

Chicago Daily News.
BigPs-So Jaggsby has passed in his checks
Ell? Poor fellow, he had many vices.
Dggs-Yes, but he had at least one redeeming
virtue.
Biggs-What was that7
Diggs-He never smoked cigarettes.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

And now Senator Hanna threatens 70
leave the United States senate in order TO
prosecute his calling OF peace angel as
between capital and labor. Evidently
Uncle Mark has fully determined 20 work
this graft for all there f. in IL.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

So far as we have been able to Judge
the chief thing accomplished by Explorer
Baidwin's expedition was enabling him TO
have some new pictures OF himself taken
IN arctic costume with a background Of
genuine snow and fee.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

J. Pierpont Morgan has bought a count
ess' home but so far he has shown his
common sense by refraining from buying
any OF his family a real live count
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Nevertheless IL Is doubtful IL that Ten
nessee man who has invented an airship
can hope TO equal the performances Of
that states junior senator in the hot air
line
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

For the life OF US we can't see why May
Yohe doesn't give Buddee Strong enough
money 20 run him and thereby keep him
from stealing her jewels.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
ouatraIns of omar Cayenne.

Perhaps, as Darwin said tits all too true,
The monkey was sire to me and YOU
We look each day among our friends, and see
Scores with the evolution process not half
through!-Chicago Journal
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
Chicago Daily News.

Chicago Daily News.
why did the evil spirits enter into the
swine?'' asked the Sunday school teacher.
''7Cause hogs will eat any old thing replied
little Sammy.
Teacher-Tommy, what is the difference be-
tween a comma and a period?
Tommy-A comma Is dot with tail 70 II
and period is a bob-tail dot.
Teacher-How old are you, little girl?
Little Girl new pupiD-Six years old.
Teacher-You are very small for your age.
Little Girl-Yes, ma am. l guess ii must be
cause we've always lived in fiat
First Small Boy-what's your name7
Second Small Boy-Frederick, but they call
me Freddy for short What's yours?
First Small Boy-Percy.
Second Small Boy-Oh, then 1 suppose your
full name is PerceTick!
Mamma" said five-year-old Tommy, I'm
bet my pony can beat you"
why, dear, what do you mean?' asked the
astonished mother.
II mean in a race" replied the youngster.
It heard papa say that you could talk faster
than horse can trot
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Senator Mason SIN refuses 70 admit
thar he Intended hts presidential boom
as q joke. And. naturally. this makes the
Joke all the better.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Somebody now claims 20 have invented
q fre-prOOf wood. What waste Of time
and talent when he could simply have
gone out and brought I'm a piece OF green
oak
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

A Cincinnati couple have named their
twin babies Ping and Pong. This isn't
serving" the kids exactly right. and they
have every right TO make a racquet about
IL
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Why Is II an abie-bodied hen win per-
sist In working overtime this sort OF
weather when she can get so much more
for her product during the winter2
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

The people OF Covington are making II
rather rough Shedding for that Emory col
Iege professor who saw Mt 10 SANDER his
own people.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

A Virginia woman IS suing for divorce.
declaring she was married while asleep.
But then. most people wake up after they
get married.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
His Last Wish

Barber-Will you have anything on your face
when l have finished, sir7
Victm-I DO not know. But 1 hope you'll
leave my nose. at least--Tid-Bits.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
The EnuIIsh Of Il.

Instead OF the American expression. east
IN Clothing" the English use. left OF cloth
Ing IN an English newspaper an advertise
uent stated thar Mr.. and Mrs. Brown have
eff on clothing Of every description and invite
four careful inspection. New Tork Tribune.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Don't Worry about the weather. Just
think how much cooler you will be next
winfer-if the price Of coal keeps going
up.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

That Chicago grave diggers' strike will
never be the success that IL might be I'M
less they get up a sympathy strike among
thu doctors.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

We can never believe that King Ed
wards coronation will be all that IL might
have been with Whitelaw Reid on this
side.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

And stm the plain people rule the road
A vegetable cart knocked Vanderbilt
automobile into smithereens the other
DAY
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Senator Hanna continues to act very
much like q man who wants TO have the
presidential nomination thrust upon him.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

The new sultan OF Zanzibar IS said 20 be
fond OF Boston baked beans. And yet
Boston had always considered Il such a
cultured fad.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11

Former Attorney General John W. Grfggs
who sailed for Europe a week ago, is one Of the
most ardent golfers in the country To
friend who came 70 the wharf to wish him
nleasant vacation he said: 1T will be IL can
get a chance to play on some Of the famous
links -
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-08-11
PERSONAL NOTES.
philadelphia Press.

Ex-Governor Boutwell, and Lieutenant Gov
ernor Bates. Of Massachusetts, have agreed 70
sneak at the coinng celebration OF the semi
Centennial OF the Massachusetts, state board OF
agriculture.