davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14

yo' to be pulverized. Mebbe I won't
do, no me- than chaw yo'r ears off ard
cripple yo' fur life, but I'll do that
much fur shore. Cum outer yo'r hole
and stand up to me like a man.
"Jest about the time he begun to
boiler my ole woman begun to git outer
her clothes and inter mine.
"'What yo' gwine to doY seq I.
"'Gwine out to wallop that critter
or die seq she.
"'But yo' ar woman, and he's a
powerful fighter
"'Zeh White, yO' snuggle down and
keep quiet. He's cum fur fight. He's
bin promised one and has to hev it.
AS yo' can't fight him, shall, and I'm
a-feelin' that the Lord will put jaw
bone inter my hand to slather him.
ut wasn't no use to talk to her.
When she got dressed up, she looked
like a man, and as she stood in the
door that varmint cracked his heels
together and crOwed like rooster.
jest had the strength to git to the win
der, and l saw all that took place.
ed, he yelled out:
"'My forty eighth victim ar now be-
TO- me to be chawed. Speak up, Zeb
White, and tell me which ear yo'd
rather I'd begin on to git up my appe-
tite Whoop, whoop-eev"
"And about the fghtY' l asked, as
Zeb was silent for several minutes.
"It was full of SURPRISES he an
swered. THAT varmint was only a
blowhard arter all. The ole woman
walked around him two or three times
and then sailed in. He hollered at the
fust jump and tried to git away, but
she wouldn't let him. She scratched,
kicked and pulled HAIR, and when she
finally let up on him he wouldn't hev
looked wuss if half dozen bars had
played with him. I've seen heap Of
men walloped, but he was the wallop-
eldest man of the hull lott
"And he didn't know it was a wo-
man." 1 asked.
Never knOwed it till he got home
and his own wife examined the claw
marks and the bites The story got
around, and purity soon he had to jest
pull up and move away. He had bin
licked by woman, and it was the
wuss lickin' he ever got.''
"And how did Mrs. White come out
Of it?'
"She didn't git a scratch, but I've
allus bin sorry about it."
"For what reasonw
"Waal," said Zeb as he turned his
face away from me, "befo' that fight
she was a mighty humble woman and
left all the bossin' to me. Sence then
She'S-She'S'-
"Shes not so humble?"
"Jest so; jest got the idea that she
kin wallop me, same as she did him,
and thar ar days when she's all ready
to make try at it. Spiles woman to
git such noshuns in her head-of co'se
it does'
And an hour after we got home that
evening overheard her saying to him:
"Now, Zeb White, yo' git me up
heap of firewood by the back doah to-
mOrrer or take the consequences, and
I'm tellin' yo' that them same conse-
quences will make yo'r back ache fur
hull month to cum M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
A Great Advantage.

GrimeS-Fve got my name in the
blue book this year, and you can't
think how pleasant it has made life
seem to me.
Hudson--I can't see what advantage
it can be to you.
Grimes-Perhaps not, but it has been
a great advantage. Hardly a day pass
es that I don't get circular or two
from some brokerage firm offering me
splendid opportunities for the invest
ment of my surplus thousands. Why,
it really makes me feel like million
aire-a millionaire who doesn't have to
pay taxes, mind you.-Boston Tran
script.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
A Qufet TIP.

"My baby cries half the night" re-
marked Newpop, with gigantic sigh
That's easily remedied,' rejoined
Oldwed, who is the proud sire of six
interesting juveniles. "All you have to
do is to turn on the gas full blaze when
he starts the trouble"
"Will that quiet him?" asked New
pop.
Sure thing" replied the other, who
had long since passed the experimental
stage. 1.-THE light will fool him. He
will imagine it is daylight and immedi-
ately go to sleep just for the sake Of
being contrary. "-Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
''gANrMIs, I DoTE ON FRESH ROASTED PEA
NUTS"

NUTS.
her first trip in my elevator / knew
that l was lost boy. She had wavy
hair and teeth of gold, and her smile
was as gentle as powdered sugar. AS
the elevator wabbled upward l turned
pale and red and felt shaky in the
Knees Sarah noticed my confusion,
and, laying her hand on my arm, she
softly whispered:
. ''Sammis, dote on fresh roasted
peanuts. believe l could eat peck
or them"
That was sufficient for me. All
thoughts of that gigantic mortgage
fed away, and within an hour large
and generous bag of peanuts rested at
her right hand as she worked the keys
and chawed Love came to me with
the suddenness of snow sliding off the
roof of house. My mind was in such
a whirl that night as l went home that
forgot to beat the conductor out Of
my fare, and l actually got up and Of
fered an old woman my seat.
''Sammis,' said my mother when she
saw that my appetite was gone and
no longer cared to be great man, "if
you have fallen in love do not hesitate
to cOnide in your mother. She will
save you if anybody can. Even if you
are engaged she will find a way of es-
cape"
But | lied to her and made out that
/ had a lame back and trouble with
my left lung. l did not want to be
saved. | wanted to go to bed that night
and dream of Sarah's gold teeth and
wavy hair. The next morning there
were gumdrops on her typewriter
They were from me. She came and
waited for me at the seventh floor,
and as we were alone for a moment
she playfully pinched my ear and
said:
"Sammis, l don't see how any girl
can help falling in love with you.
Some day you may bring me box OF
chocolate creams"
She had them ere the sun went
down, and next morning she had a
bouquet of roses which cost me a
PUNK and a half. IN return for them
SuS gave Lle a Slllle ludl ulSpldytu ali
her golden teeth clear back to the last
one. l wanted to die for her that day
to prove my love, but l was kept so
busy in the elevator that had no op-
portunity to throw myself from & win
dow or send out after poison. | did
make myself a hero, however. caught
a district messenger boy loafing around
on the ninth floor and walloped him till
he beloved for mercy. For the next
two weeks all my salary went for
candy and peanuts and bouquets, and |
lied to my trusting mother and told
her that l had to give it up for police
protection. On two occasions Sarah
permitted me to take her out to lunch
and pay the shot, and l had to borrow
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
SurQ to Saw 1t.

They stood on the lava incrusted
shore of the little island that had been
destroyed by the volcano.
Blazing torrents still ran down the
sides of the mountain, while the very
air seemed full of fire.
A man who all along had seemed to
be making e, cry effort to control him
self at last turned to companion and
chuckled:
els it hot enough for your
The task of hurting him into the
belching crater was indeed glad sur
cease from the woe of the inhabitants
Baltimore American.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
A Spreading Chestnut.

"It doesn't take much to make some
people conceited.'
"What now?'
"Why, since the village blacksmith
learned how to mend automobiles he
calls himself a blacksmythe. "-Chica-
90 News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
Acting the Part.

"Since he married that rich girl I'M
derstand Dabsley leads dogs life"
II expected as much"
eyes: he does nothing but eat, lie
around the house and grow" -Phila'
delphia North American.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
That Was Different.
worry!

Fond Parent-Why i'll the name OF
gumption is that kid of NeXdore's yell
ing around our yard?
Fond Parentess- Why, George! I'm
surprised at you! That is our own lit
tie Gladys singing!
Fond Parent-Oh.-Los Angeles Her
cid.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
Not For His Health.

''The doctors all the while grumbling
about his patients who won't pay their
bills"
Il know it. He says he isn't practic-
ing medicine for his health. "--Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
Wouldn't Hold Much.

Mamma = What are you thinking
about, Tommy?
Tommy (aged fve)-I was jes' think
in how glad | am Chris mas don't
come in the summer time.
Mamma-Why?
TOmmy-'Cause l wear such teenty
weeuty short socks in summer time
Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
Not Able to Share 1t.

Hewitt+The editor says it will be at
least year before he can publish my
poem. That's long time to wait.
Jewett-Yes; you might die, and then
the whole disgrace would fall On your
samily.-New York Herald
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14

Attention lis called to the law passed by the Legisa-
ture, whereby students may attend any High School, the
towns in which they live being compelled to pay for tut
ton provided there High School in the district in
which they live This gives opportunity for all such
students to attend High School FREE Prof L. L.
Clarke has been retained principal for another year and
this another profitable year of school work
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
Maguanim Gus.

Waiter latter tip)-Er-ahem! I'm
the man who waited on you. sir.
Disguised Customer-All right, my
man; don't mention it. | don't bear
nalice.-NeW York Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
THE ELEVATOR BOY
SOME PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS
RELATED BY HIMSELF.

Poor Sammis Is Love Smitten, and
Mortgage Are Forgotten UntiI He
In Rejected For Another.
copyright, 1902, by c. B Lewisl
A YHEN / came to work in this
wv skyscraper, Mr.. Rasher, the
W " agent, sat down and patted
me on the head and said:
"Sammis, I am told that you are the
son of a widow and a good boy"
Eyes, sir, am" l replied.
"You have set out to pay off gigan-
tic mortgage on the family estates and
become president Of the United
States?'
81 have, sir.''
"You will put in twelve hours per
day for 81 per week and keep your
eyes peeled in the interest of this syn
dicate?'
81 will, SIR" bravely answered.
"Then / have but one thing more to
say. There are good looking girls in
this building, Sammis. There are no
less than ten typewriters who are as
handsome as Mary Anderson and as
lovable as Lillian Russell. Don't fall
in love with any of them. Don't let
your young heart get up any pitpat
business. To fall in love at your age
would ruin your future prospects and
bring the blight of despair to your fond
mothers heart. 1t might also snap the
cables of the elevator. Take no chances,
Sammis Treat them with courtesy
and respect, but let your demeanor be
cold and reserved"
realized that Mr.. Rasher was advis-
ing me for my own good, and l deter
mined that he should have no occasion
to find fault with me. Many sly at
tempts were made to capture my young
heart, but | nobly resisted them. In
time l came to be known as "Cold Stor-
age Sammis," and many man patted
me on the shoulder and said:
"Boy, would that had your strength
of will to resist the soft smiles of a
black eyed typewriter with peachy
cheeks!''
But fate was lying in wait for ne,
and knew it not. One day young
woman named Sarah appeared in the
office Of the Tar and Rosin syndicate
as typewriter, and when she had made
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
Romance In Short.

Contemplation;
Alteration;
Gallant thinks her greaD.
Preparation;
Decoration;
Off to learn his fate.
Palpitation,
Trepidation
On the lovers side.
Desperation,
Oscillation;
Now she is his bride!
Canadian.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14
FEB WHITES TALE.
THE OLD HUNTERS STORY OF a
CRITTER LOOKING FOR BLOOD.
He Tells How u Cantankerous Man
Was Suddenly Put to Flight After
Being Beaten Beyond Expectations
by Zeb's Good Wife.

- NE October day Zeb White,
the possum hunter of Ten
W. nessee, took me along with
him when he wentrthe rounds
of his woodchuck traps, and as we
were coming home he told me this sto-
ry:
81 worked so hard fur three or TO-
vars arter the wah that / got all run
down and couldn't skassly git about.
Thar was days when l felt purity we'll
and days when jest sot around and
hadn't strength huff to move outdoahs.
That same var a critter named Pike
moved into the nayburhOOd. He was
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14

An Absorbing TOpic.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-08-14

Poor Sammis Is Love Smitten, and
All Thoughts of That Gigantic
Mortgage Are Forgotten Until He
In Rejected For Another.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15
THE TWO STATE TICKETS
viii Shortly b. Announced BY the
two Great Political Organic %ations.
THE BANKERS RESERVE LIFE
IL Not in Politics., but Ventures to
Suggest that Home Enterprises
Must Receive Fair
Treatment.

II the two state conventions are wise
they will not ignore the importance Of
encouraging our home life insurance com
panies and other home enterprises. II
will be folly for the nominee for auditor Of
either party to overlook the strength Of
the home mutual companies. They are
close to the people, as are also the stipu-
lated premium and old-line organizations
which are striving to build up their bust
ness in Nebraska.
INSURANCE DEPARTMENT.
must not be an adjunct OF the alien life
insurance trust or any foreign system Of
indemnity. Alien Institutions seeking the
privilege should be treated fairly, but when
they devote themselves to the destruction
Of our own companies they should be in
vited to seek new fields.
THE BANKERS RESERVE 4
has advisory board in nearly every
county aka. 1t is close to the
hearts OF ,te. The state needs
just such as this young,
successful ON Men in pub
lie offices who home enter
prises will be r, vate life and
candidates for ofii,v should not overlook
the importance OF this statement.
u. ~. Robson, PRESIDENT
Of the Bankers Reserve Life Association,
Is organizing Nebraska into a great club
for home protection. In nearly every
county its advisory boards are composed Of
the very best of our citizens. They are
loyal to the home and will not tolerate
malignant, attacks upon home institutions.
It is suggested, therefore, to all who seek
honors at the state conventions that they
put thinkers on record on this important
matter.
The new Gold Bond Policies are grea
sellers. Every delegate to the convcn-
tions ehould examine the plan and po,i,ia.
OF the
BANKERS RESERVE LIFE ASSOCIA-
TION.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15

At the time when John G. Carlisle was
senator from Kentucky, relates the New
York Times, his speeches were widely
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15
THE BEE
Gossip About Noted People

printed and attracted a great deal of at
%tention. One day, when the senate was in
session, a mountaineer from the widest
wilds OF Kentucky presented himself at the
door and asked to see Senator Carlisle.
The visitor wore homespuE and leather
boots and was travel-statned and dusty.
He explained that he had read Mr.. Car
isles speeches and considered them great.
and had walked more than 100 miles in
order to see the senator from his state. Mr..
Carlisle was busy at the time and the
clerk informed the visitor that he could
not be disturbed. The farmer looked dis
appointed and seemed reluctant to depart.
Finally he asked IL he might be taken where
he could just catch a glimpse of the great
man he had walked so far to see. The
request was granted and Mr.. Carlisle was
pointed cut to him. After a brief scrutiny
the farmer turned to the attendant:
Reads a heap better'n he looks" he re-
marked sententiously, and prepared to walk
back to Kentucky.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15
Bottled Beer for
the Home

is unquestionably Blue Ribbon Beer the
perfect brew. It Is not brewed and hur-
riod on the market. II is perfectly fer
mented and properly aged before leaving
the brewery, therefore perfectly hcalthful,
palatablc, nourishing and no bad after
effects.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15
lx@SSNSs

Business, Shorthand, Typewriting and
English. Day and evening: students
furnished work for board when desired.
Gregg Shorthand by mail. Send for cata-
logue. New York Life Bulldog, Omaha. y b.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15


Senator Hoar has gone to his home in
Massachusetts, and will not return this ses-
sion unless something important demands
his presence in Washington. His house in
Worcester was purchased by him some
forty years ago. when property was cheap,
and Is, therefore, a very large plot Of
ground almost in the center Of the city.
1t used to belong to John Hancock Of revo-
lutiOnary fame. The house Is a roomy
but unpretentious building, and is chiefly
remarkable for its enormous library. Thou
sands OF volumes are piled ceiling high in
this great room, and Mr.. Hoar spends hours
and hours among his books.
.
A memorial service for the late Amos J.
Cummings will be held Sunday, June %,
at 2 p. m. in Carnegie hall. The services
are in charge of Typographical union No.
6, Of which Mr.. Cummings was a member.
President Marsden G. Scott has appointed
all the living eX-presidents of Blk Six"
to act on the memoria committee, and
they have selected NJ. II. Mcnamara, who
was president in 1862, as the honorary
chairman. The program which has been
planned for the services includes a chorus
Of 200 voices and a speech by John NJ.
Farquhar, an ex-president OF the I%nterna-
tional Typographical union, and now a
member OF the United States Industrial
commission.
At the time when John G. Carlisle was
senator from Kentucky, relates the New
York Times, his speeches were widely
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15

"ruIe OF He" which Is as follows: "Elt
fruit for breakfast. Eat fruit for lunch.
Avoid pastry and hot cakes. Only take
potatoes once a day. Don't drink tea or
coffee. Walk four miles every day, wet
or fine. Take a bath every day. Wash the
face every night in warm water. Sleep eight
hours every night"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15

The sultan of Sulu is said to have been
subjected by a gTaphophone, an electric fan
and the electric lights On a United States
warship he visited, the mechanism of which
so filled him with awe and wonder that he
felt there was no use in resisting a power
with such forces at it's command. General
Miles tells Of an equally wonderful victory
over some rebelliCus Indians in the west, a
delegation of whom visited his camp for a
pow-wow. Among other things they were
shown a telephone and allowed to talk over
il. Much interested they demanded to
know whence came the voices they heard
ard why they should come through the
little black instrument. II was, of course,
imp, ssible to make them understand the
principles Of electricity, so the general told
IN m that the Great Spirit had lent his
lightning to the white men, and that forced
the human voices into the little box they
saw. SO impressed were they by this won
der and the understanding with the Great
Spirit which it implied that they returned
TO their homes and became such advocates
fer peare that their tribe surrendered.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-15

HE German emperor ascribes his
good health and vigor TO the ex-
cellent advice given to him by
his favorite doctor, and he has
lnnrrId nv hnnri tho l~aiinr..
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1902-08-21
KING GEORGE REPUBLICANS.
A Committee Appointed for Each County Dis
triet to Look After the Registering
of Waters

The Republicans of King George held a
meeting at the Court House Aug. 10th.
1902, to reorganize and to elect dele
gates to the Congressional convention
which meets in Alexandria Sept. p. L.
T. +. Wolfe was elected temporary chair.
man, and Horace \. Jones secretary. Ii
was agreed not to organize until some
time in the future.
The following delegates were elected te
the Alexandria convention: Potoma,
District T. +. +. Wolfe; Rappahannocl
District, Horace A. Jones; Shiloh District
Fred. ID. Davis, each delegate having tn,
right to select his alternate
VIM. j. Rogers was reelected member
of the congressional district committee
The meeting appointed a committee o.
ten men in each district TO attend each
registration day to see that each voter
properly registered, and also to urge the
voters to turn out and register
W. A. Rose, Commonwealth attor.
Dey, and Hon. VIM. J. Rogers made fine
speeches on the new Constitution.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1902-08-21

Treasurer " q. billiard. OF SpOt=yiya-
mia. was In the city yesterday. accom-.
panied by his son. Mr. billiard says Their,
VIII be a large crowd AT Lewiston Friday.
10 attend the Horse show there that
Jay, 20 witness the tournament and to
be present at the concert at night Ii
promises TO be big day for the good
people oi Lewiston section.
Miss Agnes T.. Roach lei, Tuesday for
Orange county where she il visiting rel
atlVes and friends near Rap dan She
was accompanied from here hv Rev n
A. Willis. OF King William.
Rev. II. 4. Willis. 81 King William
county. passed through the city this
week On route To Orange county. where
he will visit relatives.
Mr. A. V. keene. formerly of this city
but late ol Baltimore. has accepted po-
sition with The r. y. Brent Store after
September LIST
Mr.. W. II jerks the well known Rich
mOnd electrician, was in the city Tues
day.
councilman Lawrence Perry and fami-
ly, have gone to urbanna TO spend a few
days.
Mrs !. 7. Cannon who has been sick
Tor some time past. is convalescent.
Miss Ella Broaddus, Of Glen Allen. is
visiting her aunt, Mrs. A. r. Rowe.
City Council will meet in regular ses-
sion tonight, Crhursday).
Mr. r. b. McKleroy has returned from
an extended business trip.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1902-08-21
UPPER RAPPAnANNocK.
The Board Of Directors Meet In This ca,

The Board Of Directors Meet In This City
The Beard of Directors Of the Upper
k7ppahannock Telephone and Telegraph
company met in the City Council cham
Der on Tuesday morning.
Those present were President Robert
Beverly, Of Carrot. and Messrs j. n. e.
Beverly. Of Chance, 4 l. Mothershead. oI
Return. II. \. Turner. Of Port Conway
A. +. Turner. Of Port Royal, II l. Bay.
Tor, Of Loretta, " r Pratt. of Port
Royal. and X. l.. Bi-cOe. Vim d. Garter
L. J Smith ana Chas. l. Stengle. of Fred
ericksburg.
The session was long one, lasting fcg
over 3 hours, and much business OF i'm
portance to the Company was transacted.
IL was decided to appoint committee of
three on conference with the other lines of
Northern and Eastern Virginia for the
purpose of considering the question OF
consolidation.
Many of the poles for the new lines are
in place and it is only n question of a
brief period before this city will be con
oected by wire with all Tidewater Nir.
giuia
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1902-08-21
A House Party.

Miss Lillian Rawlings, of Raphine.
kockbridge county il giving "A House
Party to fredericksburg College friends.
Misses Aletta and Grace johnson. OF
Memphis. Tenn Miss Leila Blundon. of
northumberland county. Va. and Miss
Mary Draper Ing'es. Of Radford. Va. and
other friends. Miss Helen Nanger. of
Stanton, Va, Mr.. G. s. Bradley. OF
Staunton, formerly of Fredericksburg.
Va, DR.. J. ;. Pierson and sister, of Bal.
timOre, DR.. J. : carmen. of Cave Station.
and Mr. j. + Rawlings, of the Universi-
~ OF Maryland.
On Friday evening she gave Yard
Party in honor of her guests Seldom. il
ever, has there been a more successful en-.
tertainment. Few lawns are better
adapted for such occasions and the
brightness Of the moon and many Chinese
lanterns added to the briliancy of the
scene.
About eighty guests gathered to en-
Joy her Hospitality among whom wer,
MIR. aud Mrs. Frank Clemner. Messrs
Meredith and McChesney Hogshead. O
Middlebrook. Miss Nellie Irvine. of Char
lottesville. Mr.. George Smith. of Newpor
News, Mr.. Tom Shields and sister. n
Mint Spring. aud many others.