The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-12-12
THE MODERN FABLE OF THE GIRL

Once upon a Time there was a long
headed Girl who used to sit in her own
Room on Rainy Afternoons and evolve
Theories.
Her principal Ambition in Life was II
stand Ace High with all the Nice Men
of her Set. She hoped in the course of
Time to tease one away from the Drove
and gaIlop him into the Corral.
Now this Girl was so Foxy that 1T
times she got in front of herself AMI
blocked off her own Plays.
Her Scheme for getting all of the Real
Boys i~ntoxifed with Love for her was
to engage them in Conversation and find
out wha kin of Girl they liked. Then
her Play was to be that Kind.
She had no Difficulty whatever in in
ducing her Men Friends to talk about
the Opposite Sex. They were all keyed
up on the Subject and full of infOrma-
ton.
Just az a Feeler one Evening she ask
ed an eligible Charley if he didn't think
that the Woman of Today was too Elk
travagant.
That's just why so many of us shy
at the Matrimonial Jump" he confided
t. her. There was a time when the
Man who got $75 per Month and had
about $500 planted could take a Chance
at the Game. But now that measly AL
lOwance wouldn't keep a High-Stepper
supplied with ViOletS. The up-tO-date
Maudine isn't happy unless she has a
G~ay-Squirrel Coat. an Auto-Car. Sill
00G worth of TWinklerS and a 14-rOom
Apartment. That's why these Society
SHAREHOLDERS keep On making Love
right and left but never come down TO
Cases"
This was a valuable Tip. so the "~nftv
Maiden put it down in her little Note
Book that she who would make a Hit
must convince the Men hat her Tastes
were simple and inexpensive
Another one gave her a learned Tall.
on the Frivolity and Two-by-Fourness
Of the typical Seraphine.
You cannot expect a Man to N"N1
over his eriou affections to one of
these Feather-Heads," he said, as lie
paZed thoughtfully at the Floor.
Woman should be Mans Intellectual
Helpmeet. Now and then a Man may
ave a Passing Fancy LOT a Lizzie who
talks Piffle and gets an Attack of the
Giggles every few Seconds. but when
it comes to the grand Hook-Up he
wants one who is there with the Gray
Matter-one who can play up to his
Hottest Ambitions and supply his Home
with that Atmosphere Of Culture which
is the true Ozone of Married Life"
So she put it down that it was her
Cue to chop out the Twaddle and be
a sort of Lady Emerson.
Incidentally she resolved to side-step
all kinds Of Slang, for she got a very
strai~ht Lin of Tall from an Amateur
Philosopher who was in the Wholesale
Grocery Business.
If there's anything that gives me r
quick, shooting Pain it is to hear some
delicate Nectarine dealing out Slang
said Mr.. Gentleman Friend. Now in
England, where / spent Two Weeks
once, the LADIES neNer use Slang. They
simply say that a Thing is either Per-
fectly Charming or Most Extraordinary
let it go at that. They may ne
Short on Vocabulary but they are Long
on Responsibility. Besides. l was read
ing in a Magazine the other Day that
Slang is Vulgar and that no one should
take up with a Slang Word until Long
Usage has given it the right to butt into
the Lexicon
Also, this Girl with the Absorbent
Min would clip out Hints to the Young
and Confidential Chats. warning the
'Just-Outs against taking Presents from
Strangers and putting them mex to
Rules of Conduc that would be sure
% iCuS dI4 AAOPNA AOoA+S
Men.
1t seemed strange at Times hat these
Head Coaches who knew just how to
jolly up any Man were not out spending
some Mi~llionaire's Money instead of
writing Pieces for the Parer.
All the Articles on the WOman's
Page and all the straightlaced Men
that she met came down Hard on the
Female who is trying 10 be q Real BO-
hemian. She learned from a dozen diff
ferent Sources that Men have no earth
ly Use for the Upper who tries to do :
Mile in less than Two and kites around
in a Hack without a Chaperon and car
ries her own Cigarettes.
And she heard nothing but Express
sions of Horror concerning the Woman
who Drinks. Her Male Acquaintance
often brought up the Painful Subjects
They said it was all right for 4 Man TO
move up to Il high Ball once in a Will"
and a Cocktail before Dinner didn't 10
any Harm until after the Seventh or
Eighth. But it did look Tough to see
Mere Children of about 2S Years OF
Age going after the Dry Manhattans.
After sounding the Men on the Liquor
Question the long-headed Girl mi lie "a
solemn Resolve that she would never
hit up anything stronger h Cherry
Sundae.
When she had her Notebook full of
useful Directions, she found 4 chance
t. try out her System. She was invited
TO a Swell Dinner Party at which all
the Nice Men in Town were to be roCn-
ded up. She put on a simple WAre
Gown and wore a Rose in her Hair and
just before starting, she locked all o.
her Slang Words in the Escritoire,
whatever that may be.
At the Dime she sat next to a Bach
elor who a Nothing But. Sh" talF0
to him about the Panama Canal just
TO show him that she was no Piker.
When he wanted her to take some of
the Phizz Water she made an Awful
Stand and seemed surprised that NJ
should think that OF her.
This did not prevent him from splash
in~ in. By the time the Birds came
along he had accumulated a very neat
Brannigan and was paying a lot or At
tention to a wonderful Piece of Work
sitting opposite. She wore a Red Cos
tune that must have cost 500 and al
though she was very gabby and called
the Men by their First Names and in
v;+ad OH Who were NOT Cutters to stand