Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1902-02-21
REVENGE OF LOVERS.
RIDICULOUS EscAPApEs OF RE.
JEcTEO YOUNG MEN.
Foolish Freaks Of Youths in Old Eng.
land-One Disappointed suitor Went
TO the Expense of "Burying" His
E~x-Eiancee's Affections.

Whether the Tilted lover feels that
hehas been made to look so very foolish
Shat 1t really does not matter how much
more foolish he shows himself to be, it
is impossible to say: but the fact re-
mains that when he attempts ito get
his own back" to 8 a vulgar phrase.
he generally descends to q degree of
Righteousness difficult to exceed. Some
Of his foolish freaks are recounted by
Tt-Bits. One salad youth recently star
tied and annoyed his erstwhile sweet
heart and got himself into trouble with
the law by chartering a small. but muir
der0usly inclined brass band to play
the Dead March" in saul" under the
iady's window. This individual is not
alone In the glory Of his Righteousness;
indeed he was only modestly following
in the footsteps OF another young man
who had been similarly rejected. The
latter young maj took revenge upon his
rejecter by giving her 'tconstancy" u
stately funeral, very much to the
amusement, Of the good folks residing
in his town. He caused a death notice
to be inserted in the proper columns of
all the local newspapers announcing
that the love aud constancy of the
young lady had succumbed to an attack
Of another young man on a certain date.
Then he actually went to the expense
OF "burying" his ex-fancee's affections.
At Don mi day a band of some eight
OF ten instruments drew up in front of
the young lady's house, and was
promptly followed by a closed hearse
and a single coach. Alighting quickly
from the coach the young man of mis-
applied originality ran quickly up the
steps Of the lady's house, and immedl-
ately returned, pretending to bear some
heavy object reverentially on the palms
Of his hands. This imaginary some
thing was run into the hearse and the
funeral cortege started to wend it's way
slowly through the streets towards the
cemetery, led by the band playing the
Dead March," and with the addle-
headed young man. as sole mourner.
Needless to say, tue procession caused
u good deal Of sensation in the town,
and by the time 1t had walked around
the boundary wall of the cemetery it
was the chief topic of local chatter, and
every n knew what was the meaning
Of it. A few days later there was very
nearly a genuine funeral, for the young
lady's new lover mel the old lover in
the street, with a decided advantage in
favor of the former. A black eye and a
badly swollen mouth, to say nothing of
a bump III the back of his head.
caused by contact with the curb. must
have impressed the young man that he
had gone to the expense Of a funeral
for nothing.
A provincial tradesman may be said
to owe the lourishing condition of his
business to having been Tilted by his
hearts choice, and taking revenge in
n manner which made him the talk of
his town, not a large one, by the way.
After an engagement lasting the bet
ter part of two years the young woman
Tilted her lover for n handsomer and
more prosperous tradesman from n
neighboring town. Hardly were the
words Of rejection cold on her lips than
he set to the work of taking .satisfac-
ton for the affront. He shut up his
shop and announced his death as l,av-
ing taken place on account of Miss
IS heartless conduct to him. He
had cards printed repeating the sad an
nouncement, and these he sent round to
all the young woman's friends and his
customers, and he advertised in the
local paper that his funeral would take
place on a certain date. On the day ap-
pointed, however, he ~placarded his shop
with a highly colored notice to the eff
feet that "the cause of all his troubles"
had proved to be unworthy to die for.
and that he had consequently decided
to live and resume his business OIL
Monday next" BY this time, of course.
the affair was known to the whole
town, and when the shop opened on the
all-important Monday there was IL
crowd of customers waiting.