The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-02-14
SPINNING WHEEL.

{ SPINNING WHEEL. &
WE HAVE: no KICK. COMING.
With tho p,ice OF meat amounting, "
And the price OF milk the same,
1t keeps us all Accounting
3, Up the cost OF this srcat game s.:
Who're there's plenty. and to*sparc,
Ent I'll not kick if, Morgan went
Alonopolize the air!
We should pay the cxtrz money
For our edibles and such,
And %,, learn n to think it. funny +,,.,
We should pay out taxes gladly.
For it's nothing mere than tair.
AS long as Morgan doesn't go
MonOpoliZing air!
We may live to sec the Cay that
All the clothes We wear ale his;
We may have to learn to say that
IAN my biz is Morgans liz.
But we have no real Kick coming
AS long as he's so fair.
Let US hope he'll take notion 10
Monopolize the air!
Jack Appleton in Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette.
How practical joke was not only
wasted but proved to be ''on' the Joker,
as told by the Cleveland Plain Dealer:
II don't think I'll try any more practi
cal jokes on my wife. They don't pan
out we'll" ''Eluci,late'' You sec, she
has /, habit OF hosting the window il:
our room every night. AS l usually go
to bed last she depends on ME to hoist it.
Sometimes forget it. and then there is
| Il wild s,luabble. Frequently she wakes
me up in the night and asks me to see
! if il is open. 1t don't She nags III ne
| until morning. \ night or two ago | re-
solved to give her a hard scare. I rolled
| Inf # pN1r> irfsN I.l1,tr
! bundle and laid the package down by
thu wintiOw. OF course she was asleep
and didn't hear me. Then l opened the
window Il little ways and crept into bed.
Some time after midnight she nudged me
and said: Jim. I'm Snre you didn't open
the room. Get up and see So got UP,
went to the window and threw the sash
as high as it would go. AS l did so |
| gave II little shrek and then flung my
bundle down TO the walk below. It
| struck with Il dull thud, and L. lodged
behind the curtain to await develop,
mr1ts. The room was very dark and !
couldn't see my wife, but l heard her
raise herself to a sitting posture. Then
she spoke. Poor old Jim she quietly
said he's tumbled out Of the window in
his raggetlcSt nightshirt. What a spec
tacIc he'll be when they find him i'll the
Went to sleep" What did You do?''
'Stood there Shivering for Il minute or
two and then sneaked into bed.''
Sunday School Teacher-"I was very
sorry to hear, Sandy. that you went fish
ing last Sunday; YOU should certainly
set Il better example than that. Now.
here's Il little boy turning to newcomel)
day. DO YOU, little boy:''
| \tWcLnlcr-"No SIR
Sunday School Teachcr-"Ah! I
thought as much. One look in that inno-
cent face was convincing. And why
don't you go fishing on Sunday, my little
m.n?'
Newcomer" Cause there amt no fish
ing where live. Boston Courier.
pat" was assistant cook on one of
the dining cars on the Great Western
road, running into st. Paul. He was
obstinate and i]l-tempercd: The chef
was equally so, and, as IL result, con-
stant warfare waged between them.
On" day last summer Pat was taking
icccream, and. in spite Of the chefs
warnings, insisted upon sitting in the
doorway Of the pantry while he turned
the freezer.
The train, going up grade. made 4
sudden lurch, and Pat and his can OF
icecreum fell out Of the door, us his SUI
perior officer had predicted.
Frantic with fright, the chef, in his
white cap and apron, tore through the
train. looking for the conductor.
''Mon Dieu,, Monsieur Conductaire. -
he cried. wringing his hands. when he
found that person, re icecream free
z:irc he fall out, and Pat go wiz heem!
Stop ~ tramway or we will hat pas
dessert pour lc diner Trouble, trouble
always wiz re Irishman.'
The conductor pulled the bell and
stopped the train, but it had already
gone two miles past the spot where Pat
had rolled out
They, backed the train: fully expecting
to find Pats mansled body beside tho
track. Instead, they saw him coming
over the ties on Il run, carrying on his
back the icecream freezer.
He, climbed on tho train, looking fool
isll, hut all he ever said Of his mirac,,-
"us escape was: BE gosh. it Jared
mo some. it did thot.'- Carolinc Lock
hart in Lippincott's Magazine.
While speaking on the Philippine
question the other day. Senator Spoonel
was asked what disposition he would
make OF the Filipinos. Turning toward
he said: "a man can dispose of him
self only in two ways-ny suicide or by
lnarriage.'
Still looking at Mr. Depew. who l,:,,
not yet changed countenalce, Mr.
Spooner added:
For myself | should prefer marriage
Mr.. Depew looked puzzled for Il min
nte. Then. rs everybody seemed to ht
laughing. he took the cue.
During the recent political campaign
ex-Reprcscntative briggs of Brooklyn
addressed an Italian campaign club. II
default Of a knowledge of Italian. Mr.
briggs phrased his remarks in simple
language, spoken slowly, and PAUSED
slightly ut the end of each argument
10 his surprise. no less than his pleas
ure. his Italian listeners gave the closes
attention: and applauded at the proper
places. shouting "Niva:' and "Brayo.'
repeatedly. At the conclusion of his
speech Mr.. briggs retired to the rear OF
the platform. and, seating himself .by thu
side Of. the chairman. whispered to hin
that he was delighted with his reception
and said he had spoken to no more in
telligent audience in his life. The ono
. thing that surprised him was the ready
, applause. >.- -
, "Ha-ah! y replied the chairman, draw
T ing himself up and striking himself OF
. the chest proudly Me fix ALA that