davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
At the Dime Museum.

Passing on now to the next platform.
ladies and gentlemen" said the lecturer,
permit me to call your attention to the
two headed snake, probably the greatest
curiosity in the known world. This snake,
you perceive, ladies and gentlemen, has a
head at each end of the body. In conse-
quence OF this we are compelled to exhb-
it it as dead snake.
"The mouths were equally ravenous.
Each brain worked independently Of the
brain at the other extremity; hence each
half Of the body was always working con-
trary to the other half, and when the
mouth at one extremity, was about to
seize some morsel of food it would find
itself jerked away in order that the
mouth at the other end might seize some
equally tempting morsel Of food. The
snake being too thick and strong in the
middle to be torn apart, thus permitting
each half to lead q separate and untram-
meled existence. there was nothing for
the poor creature to do but to starve to
death. which it accordingly did.
"This shows. ladies and gentlemen, that
it is absolutely essential that both heads
shall be on one nd."-Chicago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
FLOWER AND TREE.

A white pine will measure twenty-five
feet at twenty years and gain twenty five
feet more in the next ten years.
japanese florists have succeeded in cul-
tivating a rose which looks red in tho
sunlight and white in the shade.
Whenever boughs of trees or vines be-.
come troublesome lop them off, no matter
what time in the season. Make the cuts
smooth.
In planting an orchard it Is best to use
trees one or two years from the bud or
graft, as they are less costly and are
easier handled.
In Java there is an orchid. the gram
matophyllum, all the flowers of which
open at once as IL by the stroke of fairy
wand, and they also all wither together.
High grass and weeds should not be al
lowed to stand around fruit trees over
winter. They furnish n harbor for mice,
which are apt to put in a part of their
time girdling the trees.
If manure is to be applied when the
trees are set out, take pains to incorporate
1t thoroughly with the soil. 1t is a mis-
take to put manure in the bottom of the
place prepared for the trees.
The symmetrical top OF fruit tree de-
ponds on its proper pruning when young
When first planted, the top should be we'll
cut back to one straight stem, if CT one
seasons growth. MS this will proportion
the stem to the sap gathering capacity of
the mutilated roots.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
HIS VIEW OF CHRISTMAS.
Why the Minister'S Boy Didn't Like
This Particular Holiday.

The minister's little boy did not look at
all pleased rs he came down from his ia
theirs study the day after Christmas.
Something had gone wrong about the
rectory. His name had been mentioned
almost too prominent in. regard to the
matter, and he had but moment before
submitted to An interview in the awe in
spring room where his father composed
the sermons of the week.
81 don't like Christmas" the little boy
muttered as he gazed out upon the snow
In the rectory yard and wiped the last
struggling member of a procession of
tears from his cheek.
"No," he continued, "this Christmas
business isn't what some people say it Is.
not by long shot. Everybody seems
to think it's great thing for the little
boys Of the country, but I can tell 'em
that It's anything but great for a minis
ter's son. He doesn't have any show at
ill. He isn't in it.
why, say" he continued as he eau
tiously settled himself in chair with q
soft cushion, would you like Christmas
II you were minister's little boy
Would you be pining for it and lying
awake nights waiting for 1t to get here
/ don't think! lust think of all the big
hard soled slippers a minister gets on
every Christmas tree" - New Yorl
World.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
APhoRIsMs.

Rebellion against tyrants is obedience
to God.-Franklin.
Riches are apt to betray a man into ar
rogance.-Addison.
Revenge is the abject pleasure of an
abject mind.-Juvenal.
Responsibility walks hand in hand with
capacity and power.-Holland.
He who is firm and resolute in will
molds the world to himself.-Goethc.
No man has a right to do as he pleases
except when he pleases to do right
Simmons.
He who wishes to secure the good of
others has already secured his own
Confucius.
He that easily believes rumors has the
principle within him to augment rumors
Jane Porter.
The superiority Of some men Is merely
local. They are great because their nsso'
cates are little.-Johnson.
No man can be provident Of his time
who. is not prudent in the choice OF his
companions.-Jeremy Taylor.
A kind heart ia a fountain Of gladncss
making everything in its vicinity freshen
into Washington Irving.
Rage is essentially vulgar and never
more vulgar than when it proceeds from
mortified pride. disappointed ambition
and thwarted Misunderstanding.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
FLASHES OF eoWERY WIT.
Some Odd signs Seen on This Metre.
politan ThOroughfare.

Along the Bowery are dozens OF win
dows where are displayed unredeemed
pledges, trinkets or valuables that have
strayed from all quarters into these ed
dies Of commerce. Sometimes melan-
choly interest attaches to these things,
but the pawnbroker is foe to melan-
choly. Therefore he puts humorous plac-
ards upon his wares to catch the eye and
evoke q smile, for a good humored man Is
a better customer than gloomy one.
One window displays a cobwebbed skull
bearing a placard that says:
"There are 1000 skulls in existence
said to be Oliver Cromwel's. This is not
one of them We never misrepresent."
Further along a skull is displayed
which Is said to have belonged to "Pliny,
whose body was entirely consumed in We
suvus."
A large leg bone is advertised as good
enough to do for you IL ever yours is
broken"
Watches give the Bowery humorist a
splendid field. One Of them bears ticket
bidding the passcr "buy me IL you
haven't time" Another confesses that
"slow horses did this-made him pawn
me for 500"
One watch asks boldly, Don't you like
my face?" while another, closed. says: 81
am ashamed to be here. Take me away"
A pretcntious notice points out that
"this watch has three hands, and the
third is the second hand" A stop watch
is said to have been used in timing tho
great human race"
On a bottle OF snakes is hung this SOL
emn warning: Don't look at me il drunk,
for you will certainly see things" An
other bottle of the same kind is labeled,
Oscar and bitem sortes. grounduscrawl-
u.s."
A dealer whose frapkness and disinter-
ested honesty are attractive advertises,
"Guns that will shoot and guns that
won't" and puts a notice on one of them
that confesses, This is not much good MS
gun. but it is 125 years DID," Another
gun is recommended as IAN excellent gun
for killing time" and truly it looks all Of
that. 1t is muzzle loader with a match
pan. One placard declares that "this is
not Aaron Burr's rife; it is mine. but you
can have it for ST."
A dealer declares his honesty thus:
"This looks like a thousand dollar bill.
but l made it myself; | never misrepre-
sent" But he casts discredit on the state.
ment by displaying some apple seeds
which he declares belonged to the motto.
rious apple that got Eve irto trouble."-
| New York Times
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

bidders in the field. The first is the
world. Well, and what will you give
for her? II will give riches, honor.
pleasure" That will not do. She is
worth more than that, for she will live
when riches, honors and pleasures Of
the world nave passed away. You can.
not have her The next bidder is tho
devil. Well, and what will you give
for her? II will give all the kingdoms
Of the earth and the glory OF them
That will not do, for she will continue
to exist when the Kingdoms Of the earth
and the glory of them have vanished
like the shadows Of the night before
the rising sun. You cannot have her.
But list and hear the voice of another
bidder, and who is that? Why, the
Lord Jesus Christ. Well, what viii
you give for her? II will give grace
here and glory hereafter. an inhc,!-
lance incorruptible. indebted and that
fadeth not away" These three bid.
dcrs still contend for the p, secession q
souls-your soul, my soul and the soul
OF every one that cometh into tie
world. One bid or the other we mt t
accept. The choice must be mado.
The decision rests with you. May God
help every one of us to decide arigl
for what shall it profit a man If
should gain the whole world and losn
his own soulT
Copyright. 1902, Louis Kiopsch. N. "
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
A FIGHT IN GREENWICH.
Fhe Difference Between II ana the
"FOreign" street Conflicts.

Fhe Difference Between II ana the
"FOreign" street Conflicts.
The girl was from the south, and the
man had been showing her New York.
They had been doing" the various quar-
ters which have sprung up here and
there in the lower part Of Manhattan.
They had wandered through streets
where the windows are painted in strange
Greek letters. They had tasted chop suey
In Chinatown, and she had shuddered at
the sight Of an opium den. Then down a
short, narrow street they turned into old
Mulberry bend, where thousands Of Ital-
ians were congregated for a breathing
spell.
She had not talked much during their
wnnderings, but she looked a great deal
and was evidently thinking.
How these children fghtw she ex-
claimed as they came upon two Italian
boys who we're hammering one who was
smaller than either. Cant you make
them fight fair?"
He stopped the fight with difficulty and
found that they were trying to make the
smaller boy give up a nickel which he
had found in tho street. "These foreign
ers don't knew anything about fighting
fair, as we call it," he said.
Have we seen all the quarters?" she
asked.
There's the American quarter"
American quarter! don't under
stand. How can you have an American
quarter In this American city?"
because there are SO many foreigners
in this part Of town. Our American quar-
ter holds about 10000 people. In the
days when the city was small it was
Greenwich village, then the old Ninth
ward. Let's 90 over there"
They crossed town on car and got out
at Jefferson market. A few blocks
brought them into the quarter. The peo.
pie were almost as poor as any they had
seen in the foreign quarters. But there
was n difference. They were cleaner, they
held up their heads. and the children
were less noisy about their play. They
turned n sharp corner which brought
them into n square, in the center of which
stood n crowd OF boys.
Its another fight" said the man, IAN
American fight this time You'll see the
difference"
The boys had formed ring. in the cen.
ter Of which two youths of practically
equal weight were fighting. One boy
held a watch and at the end Of three
minutes called time. Both boys stopped
fighting until told to begin again. When
they had been fighting perhaps fifteen
minutes both began to show signs Of Sc
we're punishment. Then an older boy
stepped into the ring.
you kids have been fghtin' long
enough" he said "Stop it or you'll hurt
each other. give the fight to 'Rcddy."
The boys stopped at once, and there
was nothing more said about it. Freddy"
didn't crow over his victory, but took it
as a matter Of course. The crowd melted
away.
"Now, that was a fair fight" said the
girl. "the way Americans should fight.
I'm glad you brought me to the Ameri-
can quarter."-New York Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
WhcrN Had He Met HimH

The Rev. DR.. Dwight NJ. Seward, ''ths
bishop of the coast" was fond Of tel.
ing Of a clergyman who spent his sum.
mers in the Adirondacks in a set We.
ment at the southern end of Ssranac
lake. The clergyman cultivated the
genial habit to a degree and would d..
pense greetings to every one as lie
walked along the street. The Simple
country folk could not quite undr e..
stand the good mans cordially. on
one occasion he had bowed most heart 4.
ly to a noted barroom character Of the
town, who was plainly much surprs, J
by the attention. He watched the r..
treating figure of the clergyman in -
troubled way. Finally he turned to n
group Of friends and said, Now. WHORE
in blaZcs Ia met that man|'-NcW
York Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

In the Leeds Intelligencer for July 20,
1901, DR.. Gardner, "the inventor of the
universal medicines In the form Of pills,
plaster and ointment" was advertising
his arrival In Leeds and was exhibiting
worms and other creatures Of which he
had rid mems bodies ito prove what no
man nor any body of men upon earth can
deny" His exhibits, which could be seen
at the doctors lodgings, 8 St. Peters
square, included two uncommon crea-
lures, one like lizard, the other has a
mouth like a place, (sic) a horn like a
snail, two ears like mouse and its body
covered with hair. 1t was destroying the
mans liver. a portion Of which 1t has
brought off with it."-Notes and Queries.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Saltmaking In Spain.

The Spanish method Of producing salt,
as employed near Cadz, is by allowing
the sun to evaporate the water from
what are known as pans" small ponds
prepared for the purpose of a uniform
depth of about eighteen inches. These
are flooded directly from the sea three or
four times a year, and in time there is
left a deposit of about three inches of
salt. which Is piled In the open in the
form of small pyramids until sold. This
method has the advantage OF being mex
pensive and OF not requiring machinery.
The only requisites are a hot sun and a
soil which will not permit the water to
filter through. as the salt in solution
would then be lost. Something depends
also upon the analysis OF the water. For
instance, the water of the Mediterranean
has a greater specific gravity than that of
the Atlantic.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Tho story of One Verdict,

The other day, when the jury in n
murder trial in the Louisville courts
had retired to their room. the foreman
said: Gentlemen, this is serious case
we have to decide. A mans life may
be forfeited by our decision. How
many Christians are among us" Nine
men raised their hands Twill one Of
you pray" asked the foreman. One
of the oldest jurors said he would do
his best. All knelt. and a most earnest
and impressive prayer was offered.
Balloting was then begun. Several
jurors were in favor of a life sem
tence and others for terms as short as
eight years. The jury finally agreed on
eighteen years.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Winning by LOain&.

Several years ago nm American con.
tractor cast eyes upon a certain con.
tract on the Nikolaevsky railway. Not
being able to obtain it by fair means,
he went on beautiful cloudless day to
the parsonage who had control of The
contract. taking with him a huge IT,
brella. In reply to the personage's r.
the contractor offered to bet 100000
rubles that it would he pouring with
in half an hour. The offer was acc ~.
ed. At the end of the half hour IL
sky was still cloudless. the sun ".
shining even more beautifully. I.'
he got the contract.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
the scratch. winners by their own

The scratch, winners by their own
length.
There was wild quarter Of an hour.
The shanty men had torn of their
coats and were waving them wildly
and tossing them high, while the
ranchers added to the uproar by emp.
tying their revolvers into the air in q
way that made one nervous.
When the crowd was somewhat
nuieted, Sandy's stiff figure appeared,
slowly making toward them. A dozen
lumbermen ran to him, eagerly inquir.
ing IL he were hurt. But Sandy could
only curse the little Frenchman for
losing the race.
"Lost! Why, man, we've won itw
shouted a voice, at which Sandy's rage
vanished. and he allowed himself to
be carried in upon the shoulders of his
admirers.
"where's the lnd?" was his first ques.
kion.
''The bronchos are Off with him. He's
down at the rapids ike enough"
LET me gow shouted Sandy, setting
bn at run in the track of the sleigh.
He had not gone far before he met
Baptiste coming back with his team
foaming, the roans going quietly, bu,
the bronchos dancing and eager to be
at it again.
"voila! Bully boy! Tank the bon
Dieu, Sandy. You not keel, Ell? All
you are one grand chcvalier" exclaim
ed Baptiste, hauling Sandy in ant
thrusting the lines into his hands. AND
so they came back. the sleighbox still
dragging behind, the pintos executing
fantastic figures on their hind legs ant
Sandy holding them down. The little
Frenchlnan struck a dramatic attitude
and called out:
"voila! What's the matter wiz San
dy, heh?"
The roar that answered set the bron
chos off again plunging and kicking
and only when Baptiste got them b.
the heads could they be induced tt
stand long enough to allow Sandy to b'
proclaimed winner of the race. Sever
al of the lllmbermen sprang into thu
seighbox with Sandy and Baptiste
among them Keefe, followed by Mel
bOll, dlu tuc IISt ldll VI iht great va.
was over. Slavin could not understand
the new order Of things. That grea
event like the four horse race shoult
not be followed by drinks all round
was to him ut once disgusting and in
comprehensive, and, realizing his de
feat for the moment he fell into thu
crowd and disappeared. But he left be
hind him his runners. He had not ye
thrown up the game.
Mr.. Craig meantime came to me and
looking after Sandy in his sleigh, will
his frantic crowd Of yelling admirers
said in a gloomy voice:
Poor Sandy! He is easily caught
and Keefe has the devils cunning"
"He won't touch Slavin's whisky to
day" answered confidently.
"There'll be twenty bottles waiting
him in the stable" he replied bitterly
land I can't 60 following him up. HI
won't stand that. No man would. Goo
help us all!'
could hardly recognize myself. FOL
found in my heart an earnest echo tt
that prayer as l watched him go to
ward the crowd again, his face set II
strong determination. He looked Xix,
the captain of forlorn hope, and
was proud to he following him.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Honesty Paid.

Earl Fitzwilliam, father of the earl of
that name who died recently. was re-
garded as an excellent landlord. One
complaint that the earl's fox hunters
had ruined field of wheat The earl
gave him $500 by way of payment for
the damage. Later in the year the
farmer returned the money, saying THAI
the wheat had turned out well after all.
Thereupon Earl Fitzwilliam drew Il
check for $500 and handed it to the
man. saying: This is ms things should
be 'twixt man and man. When your
eldest son comes Of age give him this
and tell him how and why you got it,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
what q Woman Can 10.

Mrs. Styles-I was at the donation par
ty last evening. Mr.. Altarton gave us a
splendid collation.. / was awfully hun
cry, and the things tasted so good that |
ate and ate until was almost ashamed
Of myself
Uncle George-And your supper cost
how muchl
Mrs. Styles-For the lands sake, what
in the world are you talking about?
Uncle George mean how much did
you contribute toward the donation?
Mrs. Styles-Oh, ! gave Eve cent
piece. should have given a dime only
| didn't have the change.-Bos.sa Tran.
script.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Old hook Terms.

The words folio, quarto, octave, duo
decimo and the like have almost IL not
quite lost their original meaning. At first
they had reference only to the number of
leaves into which the sheets used in max
ing the books were folded. Thus il these
sheets were folded once so as to form two
leaves or four pages the book was called
q folio; IL the sheets were folded twice so
as to form four leaves, the book was
called a quarto; II they were folded four
Zines 80 as to form eight leaves, the book
was called an octave, and 80 on.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
THE EGOIST.

] am the man who runs them all!
stand In conscious power
Upon my home made pedestal,
The hero Of the hour.
Decree Of Kings or words of wit
Which mighty minds reveal.
Can never hope to make hit
Until they bear my seal.
/ do not toll. I but compile
The scroll that tells renown;
Men coo like children when ! smile
And tremble when frown
IT'S thus the lordly esoist sings
While earnest workers strive
And find the JOY that doing brings.
Nor know that he's alive.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

"Fortunately failed to win the prize"
the historian Freeman once said. refer
ring to an Oxford essay on the Norman
conquest. "Hsd l won it should have
6attered myself knew all about the sub
ject. AS it was l went on and learned
something about it." The Something" is
set forth on one of the greatest monu-
ments of English historical scholarship.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

Mamma-Oh, Ronald. who opened the
canary's cage?
Ronald-I did. You told me little bird
was a-whispering to you when ! was
naughty, so knew 1t must be him, as
there was no other little bird about. So
opened the cage, and the cats eaten him.
That's what he got for telling on me-"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
twas better Left Uns.id.

Teacher (who catches a ten-year-old
mlmicking her)-Johnny Gaffney, IL you
do not stop acting like fool shall dis.
miss you from the recitation.-New York
Times.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Substantial Consolation.

A Georgia girl wrote to her lover:
Dear John-I cannot marry you; brh
please don't kill yourself!
TO which John made answer as follows.
stitution.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
His Accomplishments.

Silas-How Is yeour son gittin' ON at
college?
Cyrus-First rate! He has mastered
French now. an he says he'll soon be
able to get job as waiter an understand
the menu.-Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

Editor-What do you mean by trying
TO sell me such stuff as this?
Poet-Well, sir have to cat.
Editor - All right; eat your words,
ndrcl.-Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Two OF n Kind,

yes, sir" said the pompous individual.
II began life us a barefooted boy"
Queer coincidence rejoined the hard
ware drummer. II was also boru with
out shoes. New York World.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
rnrt.pg OF the Ways.

"Smisgins thinks pretty well Of his
voice, doesn't he:
Yes; hut it's just about got to the
point where hen have TO choose between
his voice and his friends" - Manila
Critic
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
Lots Of Water.

"And what is this2" asked the visitor
This IL Wall street. 1t il the most
celebrated Of all our American watering
places."-Our Dumb Animals,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

Samho--Houest boss. amt stealn'
no chicken. bat dis heah rooster he look
so tired dat I'm jest carryin' him n little
ways to rest him, OATS all. Soss.-New
York journal
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08
BRUSSELS.

II want to see some Brussels" the
prospective customer
Carpets, sprouts. or point lace?" asked
the foorwalker. briskly.-Cncinnati Com
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-08

II is said that the flint which forms the
substratum of London is nothing but petri-
fed sponses An examination OF the fossil
sponges or flint shows its structure.