Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-03


been paid to April Fools day in litera-
ture. 1t seems to have escaped the no.
tice of book-worms and literary ang-
lers. st. Valentines, All Souls, Mich
aelmas, Easter, Christmas have not
been neglected. but All Fools has not
been given the fair show to which 1t Is
entitled. To repair this oversight some
Of the references to the day, its deeds
and its patrons that are to be found in
literature have been rescued and are
herewith set forth.
And here we have something from
the brave, valiant, gallant, scholarly
Sir Walter Raleigh, much misunder-
stood and unjustly prosecuted. whose
valuable intellectual life was prema-
turely ended by the headsman as sac
rifice to the politicians of Queen Eliza
beth's and James LIS reign:
For do remember a merrie Jest
that was performed when that her ma
jestie. our Most Gracious Soveraine,
Elizabeth. by the grace of God Queen
of Great Britain and Ireland. was by
his grace the Earl of Leiscester, en-
tertained at his noble palace Of Kenil-
worth with many days of feasting and
wassail. Amongst the floode of daintie
dishes, and the finest arte of the con-
fectioner and the baker, was pye
fashioned with create skille, the foun-
dation stone whereof was the lemon
brought from Stella and squeezed into
rich costarde of mike, and sugar and
eggs. This being surfaced DER with a
browne compromising of sugar, spice
and the white of the egge, our Virgin
Queen was so bewitched with its COM
plection and flavoure, that she be-
slowed upon the cratic confectioner a
pension for his life. And she did eat
of his pyes all times of the day even
after she had betaken her self to her
couch for reste at nighte.
But on the last nighte when there
was brought unto her one Of these
pyes. she tasting greedily as before,
spat 1t out vehemently, and did cry
loud and angrilee, BY Godde and his
saints / will have the heade of that
villein ere the ende Of this accurst
hour
For that which offered itself to her
gustation as lemon costarde was but
yellow unbaked -four of the Indian
maize brought hither from Virginia.
And 1t lacked salt or sugar or any sea-
some whatsoever. This 1t was that
made her wrothe. For whereas the
royal palate all on tip-toe for the cos
tarde soft. found this base stuffe was
powder-drye, with no more SAVIOUR
than you will find in chalke The pye
toppe was white of egge also, without
sweetness or spice, Of sinamente or
nuttemeg. And the Holy Scriptures
themselves have taught us that there
is no taste in the white of an egge.
"And thus did her Most Christian
Highness suffer the pangs of pagan
Tantalus. which no Christian ought to
suffer But the scurvy knave who thus
betricked her Sacred Majestic was
never uncovered. 1t was not the chief
cooke or the cunninge confectioner. for
they both were at their revels in the
Castel grounds. 1t was the First of
April and the April Foole was at his
play. Some sorry kitchen rascal was
1t, when the bake was turned, that did
poure his jorum OF insipidltie out upon
one OF the pans, wherein the pyes
were Observation-Disclosures chapter of
Sir Walter Raleigh's Historic OF the
World.
In one Of the Arabian Nights we
have a short tale of an April Fools
day, which is not to be found in any of
the regular editions of that work. 1t
reads thus:
THE same evening. the good Hsroun
AL Raschid disguised himself, accord
Ing to his wont. and in company with
his grand vizier went forth among his
subjects in search Of adventures.
I'm the course Of time they came to
shop where the caliph bought figs
and cinnamon. Its owner, Albubi, put
ting away the money in bag, began
boasting to neighbor. Biskoonah, of
his prosperity for long time previous,
and showed him the bag full of gold
in proof thereof
"'You would be wiser not to be
showing it, said his neighbor. Only
Allah knows who may be watching
Trust me for that answered AL
bubi, thrusting it into his bosom. None
will lay hands upon 1t until first be
dead
Then he closed his shop and went
to supper with his neighbor at a con-
fectioner's. The next morning when
Albubi awoke In his own home Bis
koonah sat near watching him. AL
bubi did what he always did on first
awaking--thrust his hand into his
bosom to see II his money were safe.
There was white visage, a cry of
pain.
Its gone! It's gone. My goldl My
money! he shrieked.
Why, of course 1t is, said his COM
panion. You gave 1t to the black
eyed daughter Of Paradise last night
for kiss and promise
"'Allan be praised. never was
such fool as that
.~.~-~.~~~~>~~-~~.~~
woman and Vain Man.