The Lewiston teller. (Lewiston, Idaho) 1900-1905, 1902-04-17

~" """t Jou SoA w To-Day. ,JOhn,.
Well then. I'll eat the rest of tho I.
now. w
A Rising Man: "And have Won NJ /.
bition to rise in the world,n 40 amF
ma'am! Pm porch climber
land Plain Dealer. ese
Thrown together: Ecbert
her? Hilbert - Yes. Egher+- n..'
well? Filbert--We were throun Sa''e
gether from the same automoh,,.
Judge.
"You say O'Hannagan leaves thu
phans' home large legacyY' "Bedsa
it's purity large" How mnoss.
Twelve children an a goat bacor..,
Tit Bits.
Towne-I see Gayman had "a -.
Miss Koy $4,000 for breach of nram
Use. Rrowne-Yes, and now he's trv;a.
to marry her for her money.-phil.da,
phia Press.
An expensive luxury: Mr.. O'Tool.
(entering doctors office)-Shure. docto,
OF think OF have appindicits, n,
Smith-Nonsense, man! You haven,
money enough for that.-Judge
Doubtless she was: Mrs. Browns
And who is the president of your cluh
now, Mrs. Malaprop? Mrs Malapron
(proudly)-I am the present encum
| brance, just now.-Philadelphia Pres,
John" she said. do you think Won
can afford new gown for meY n.
looked at her sharply. Have you Or
dered it?" he asked. "Yes." Then.
he said. Il can afford it."-Chica,o
Post.
Dobbs-You ought to do something
for that cold of yours. A neglected
cold often leads to serious conse.
Quences. Mobbs-This one is not neg.
lected. Four or five hundred Of my
friends are looking after it.
Mr. Wise-Johnny, can you tell me
why the little hand on my watch goes
faster than the big one? Johnny latter
mature refiection)-Papa. isn't 1t for
the same reason that | have to run
when go walking with you?-Ex.
change.
Parvenue-1 hear the Newriches
claim to be better off than we are
Mrs. Parvenue-That's perfectly ridicu
lous. Everybody knows we have more
money. Why, we receive over twice
as many begging letters as they do
Town Topics.
"Oh, come now. I s'y!" exclaimed the
Britisher. You must admit that we're +
ahead of you in grite many w'y."
I'm one great particular l admit you
are,' said the Yankee. And that is"
Thine. It's 8 o'clock in London and
it's only 3 here" -Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Too Much for Him: Civil Service Ex
aminer very sternly, to Erastus Smith,
colored, who aspires to the office d
mail carrier)-How far is it from the
earth to the moon? Erastus lin terror
-Golly, boss! eff yos gwine to put me
on dat route l don't want de job
Judge.
The Prima Donna after the first acn
Il won't go on again unless that boz
party makes less noise! nearly had
Mysteries! The Manager Tin surprise,-
! didn't hear any noise. The Prima
Donna-You didn't Why. they en-
cored that upstart of a contralto -four
times!-Puck.
Plausible Enough: Ascum-How did
you make out with that story you sent
to the Klaptrap Magazine? Scribblei
Rejected. l fancy it was too clever.
Ascum-Too clever? Scribhler-Yes. J 8
suppose they were afraid it would dis
tract attention from their advertising
pages.-Philadelphia Press.
What's In Name: Tess-Tve writ
ten Name Woody an invitation to. my
tea. supposed must. Jess-ies. bul
you've spelled her name Name
Tess-That's SO. She spells it May
me-" doesn't shei Jess-Oh, no; sns
did three months ago: but its Mar
8 chime" now.--Philadelphia Press
"John," she whispered. there's :
burglar In the parlor. He just bumped
against the piano and struck SEVERN
keys" you don't say. I'll 60 righ'
down." said he. .Oh. John, don't %
anything rashv' Rash? Why. In
going to help him. You don't supposs
be can remove that piano from tns
house without assistance. do you!
Philadelphia Press.
htrs.
Bargain Day: Just after her nus
band had arrived mt the hospital n'
wife regained consciousness. 'Dld sue
get ity' the wife asked feebly. ue'
what. dear?" he answered bendins
over her. why, that last yard OF nv
bon marked down from ten cents
saw it first, and made up my nina .a'
'ther woman should not have II WIZ