Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-01-02
GOOD
Short Stories

The Shah OF Persia is said to have
once told the Duchess of Westminstel
that the fame OF her beauty had reach
ed Teheran. "Ah," said she to some
one who stood by, "he takes me toI
Westminster Abbey"
Some gentlemen Of the press wish
admission. sir" Sir Francis Knollys
once said to King Edward. when be
was Prince Of Wales. and the heir ap-
parent, with a laugh, remarked: LET
them enter For, II they don't obtain
admission at the door they'll come in
through the ventilator"
1t is said that Sarah. Duchess of
Marlborough, one day remarked to her
grandson. Jack Spencer; Jack, you
must marry, and win give you a list
of the ladies you may propose to-"
Very well, grannie," he said, aud he
proposed to the first ON the list. When
he came back with his wife from their
wedding tour, they went to pay their
respects to the old lady. We'll, now,
she said, Il am the root and you are
only the branches, and therefore you
must always pay me great deal OF
Difference" THAT Is all very well.
said Jack, imperelnently, 'but think
the branches would flourish great
deal better il the root was under
ground"
Gen. John II. Littlefield, who studied
under Abraham Lincoln, says that all
clients knew that, with "0ld Abe" as
their lawyer, they would win their case.
II it was fair; If it was not, that 1t was
a waste of time to take 1t to him. After
listening some time one day to would
be clients statement, with his eyes on
the ceiling, Lincoln swung around in his
chair, and exclaimed: We'll, you have
a pretty good case in technical law, but
pretty bad one In equity and justice.
You'll have to get some other fellow to
win this case for you, couldn't do it.
All the time while talking TO that jury
I'd be thinking, Lincoln, you're liar.
and believe should forget myself and
say it out loud"
Beau Nash, who, like Beau Fielding
and Beau Brummel, expiated his con-
temptible vanity in an old age Of OBJ
security, want and misery. was reduced
to strange expedients between 1895 and
1905. A favorite resource was the ac-
ceptance of extraordinary wagers. Be
ing at York, and having lost all his
money, some of his friends promised to
equip him with fifty guineas upon this
provisO, that he would stand at the
great door of the minister, attired only
in blanket. as the people were coming
out Of the church. To this he agreed.
but the dean passing out knew him.
What" cried the divine, "Mr. Nash
in a masquerade?' only a Yorkshire
penance, Mr.. Dean, for keeping bad
company" said Nash, pointing to his
companions.
Lemice Therieux once worked of a
little practical joke at the expense Of
play in which the Pelion of misery was
heaped upon the Ossa of despair (says
writer in Chambers Journal. To-
gether with twenty friends he secured
a prominent seat in the gallery. When
the pathetic moment arrived, Therieux
pulled out handkerchief and burst
into tears. The effect was electrical.
The man next TO him also fell to weep
ing, and also took hold of the handker-
chief. The epidemic of tears thereupon
extended all along the line Of the faith
full twenty, and as each man succumb-
ed to his emotion he took hold of the
end of the handkerchief, until at last
all the confederateS were weeping in it.
The handkerchief was twenty yards
long. and had been specially prepared
for the occasion. The low comedian
struggled gamely with this exhibition
of woe, but his witticisms were of no
avail, for the funnier he became the
more frequent were the sobs of the sor-
rowing twenty.