Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-12-25
BROWN GOES SHOPPING
HIS EXPERIENCE AS RELATED AT
OFFICE NEXT DAY.
Adopts q Ruse to Gain Time for Rest
and is Late Reaching
Home.

employer entered the once -FOUR minutes
after his usual punctual time. ''Were the
suburban cars hung up?"
"Oh. no." he replied, good naturedly
Truth to tell, 1 oversight myself this
morning, and can only lay the cause to
going shopping with my wife last night"
Then he seated himself comfortably in his
arm chair and related in a confidential
manner the following story:
Like most men, I don't go shopping
often, but at Christmas times I always
undertake one or two Of these expeditions
Immediately after dinner my wife and I
made for the city. We did not visit many
stores, but-but we stayed long where we
went. You know that's woman's way Of
doing It," Then my employer named a
number of the establishments they had
visited.
"And you don't call those many stores?"
interrupted.
well, l do; but my wife did not seem to
think so. At Kanns we stayed until we
were put out. The elevators had stopped
and we were compelled to walk down from
the fourth floor. If ever you want to be
among the last to leave a place you just
take Mrs. Brown with you. She is pro-
verbal last-be 1t at the table, retiring, eat
the opera or deciding question. After all
this galavanttng l was tired to death, but
my wife seemed but little affected. BY
Jove! but women seem to have great pow
ers of endurance in shopping. l was most
dead to get to some place where I could
rest my weary limbs and-and-my corn
Here 1 laughed again and remarked, Il
thought you limped as you came in this
morning"
Nurses His Misery.
Eyes, that's the cause. Every time we
were near a counter 1 would lean against
1t and pick up my aching foot. Then Mrs.
Brown would say: Don't do that! You will
knock something off, or You will break
this glass case! or That isn't dignified,' at
which 1 would again straighten up. 1t
seemed as though every one aimed at that
toe, and l myself inflicted many a knock
upon it.
"As we were waiting for the 9th street
car at Pennsylvania avenue, l remembered
that l was as hungry as bear so SAID
to my wife, Suppose we go over to that
lunch room and get cup of coffee. really
think you need it after this jaunttng.
II knew 1 wanted it, whether l needed
1t or not, but thought this was the better
way to put the suggestion. She consented;
and we walked into the store. 1 put all
my bundles a chair, took of my over
coat, hung up my hat. cleared my throat
and made myself comfortable for half an
hour.
1--WE want two cups Of Coffee said to
the girl, 'and-what else will you have,
mammal? I continued, turning to my wife.
81 am very sorry, but we have no cof-
fee interrupted the girl.
"This was what 1 wanted most, but I
looked at the pile Of bundles and my over
coat and concluded that we had best remain
and take tea.
"'Well, we will have two cups Of tea 1
returned. 'And-what else will you have,
"mamma?"' I again asked Mrs Brown.
Now, this gives you an exhibition Of my
wifes slowness. She had not yet replied to
al am sorry but we have no tea slowly
drawled the girl with no animation.
IT was mad I said nothing more, but
hurriedly getting on my coat and gathering
up my bundles we left. l said to my wife
that we would go to another lunch room a
few doors above and get what we wanted.
AS we reached this establishment the cur
tains in the door were being pulled down
and 1 realized that we were left. I wanted
that coffee more than did Mrs. Brown, but
1 did not wish her to know it.
1T Is too bad you have been SO disap-
pointed said
"'You need not worry about me: am
not hungry she returned.
What Causes Delay.
"'But you ought to have something re-
piled in a solicitous tone. You need 1t.
We will go into this restaurant and get
club sandwich
$50 we went in. and again put down my
bundles took off my coat. hung up my hat
anu LOOK d COllOItdDlc BEAT. we cHJOy GU
our repast and then boarded a car for home.
When 1 gave the conductor the fare he in
formed me that he did not know whether or
not he could take me to my destination, as
there was a car off the track somewhere
outside the city. 1 looked at my watch and
found 1t was after train time, so there was
nothing left but to stay in the car. When
we got into the suburbs we met the crippled
car and were delayed quite a while. OF
course, my wife told me during these mo-
ments of waiting that If we had come d.
rectly home without waiting to get that
club sandwich we would not have encoun-
tered the wreck on the line. insisted that
the collation. was essential to her health, and
/ secretly knew 1t was necessary for the
preservation Of my good nature. We
reached home at 1 O'clock. I did not feel
so tired then, but must have been. as I
did not awaken this morning until nearly
o'clock"
$50 that accounts for your being four
minutes late" rejoined.
Yes, and 1 saw more things than I ever
knew stores kept; but can't get 1t straight
in my mind whether a bias founce is worn
on the head over the shoulders, or
whether a bertha is a fixing for the waist
or is designed for the bottom Of the skirt.
Va Iera's the morning nail2"