The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-07


course the Automobile club selected for its
race Think so?" Yes; there was a
blacksmith shop and a pharmacy every
half mile. Chicago Daily News.
Too Democratic.-"Th given up the
Authors Club why? Everybody /
who has written a historical novel was eli
gibIe, and they found it wasn't going to
be exclusive enough Detroit Free Press.
Instruotor.-'In what respect did the
fourteenth and nineteenth centuries re-
semble each other?" De Grees-"The nine |
teenth century resembled the fourteenth !
in that both were hundred years long
Lampoon-
No Real Danger.-Clara Bob Preston
has proposed to me. and I really don't |
know how to refuse him. I hate to break |
worry about that. I refused him twice last
week, and he seems to be getting along -
Chicago Record-Herald.
smithson Cthe celebrated poet, novelist.
pla wright, etc.)-''But, my dear young
lady. 1 really don't understand you. I
haven't been winning any ping-pon tour
naments I don't play Miss Brown-"Oh,
but surely 1 heard our hostess say you
were the Mr.. Smithson. Punch.
Impossible.-"Of all the clumsy brutes,
cried Mrs. Pettish at the crowded recep-
ton, that mans the worst" :" 'Sh!' said
her husband, that's detective" Il don't
Nonsense! He never got on anybody s
trail in his fe."-Philadelphia Press.
''Win you marry me?' he said suddenly
looking up from the paper which he had
been studying.
'wh-why." she replied, ''how you
startled me. What has caused you to ask
me such important question sud
denly?"
I've been looking over the tax list"
7 can't see what the tax list has to do
with our love-
Your fathers name isn't on it. He
must be very rich.''-Chicago Record
Herald.
HE has been working like a galley
slave, hasn't hep
'Worse-like a farmers wife."-Life.
be increased and the game rendered more
exciting, it is rumored that the public is
to be treated this fall to the novel spec
tacle of football played in automobiles
Judge.
He seems to be spending his life in
struggle for the unattainable''
Yes, and the first thing he knows he
will be up against it.''-Indianapolis News
Fond Mother 6o teacher)-.'Don't you
think my boy is bound to make his mark?
Teacher-'I am afraid so. It seems i'm
possible for him to learn to write. Tit
Bits.
At the Historical Novel Play.-He-- At
suppose, before seeing one of these plays
one should read the book" Shelves,
Then, in some cases, one might avoid the
play.'-Puck.
Oats it, Name! You kin see his mother
is pettin' an spoin' him an I spose he'll
go along dat way till he gifts married.
Yes, an den he won't hardly know
what struck himP'-Puck.
Just change the rest" said DR.. Strange,
I out it to the test:
Hotel men got most all my change,
Philadelphia Press.
"Br'er. Williams seq dat de Lawd will
Yes; but he spends too much time
prayin fer provisions. Atlanta Constitu-
ton
You mean the clergyman with whom
you exchanged pulpfts a few weeks ago?
oh, yes! Mamma liked him very much
Yes? She enjoyed the sermen?''
"Oh, yes! She says it does her heart
good to listen to a preacher who has moth
ing to say against the Bible. Puck
You will surely concede." insisted.
that the world as a whole is charitable"
cialty was seeing the fly in the ointment,
1t viii give man credit for good in
groceries. Puck. N'-
-. Now No. then, Tommy" said the stern
Yes. sir sobbed Tommy. who had been
And Dc you remember what you're
yes. I'm sorry at you're SO blamed
cross. Philadelphia Press.
Messenger-Hello. .-tPhoity-nine. where's
yer uniform? Amt yer messengerin' no
mOre2
Ditto-Naw.
Messenger-Clerlxin'?
Ex-Ditto-Naw, office boyin'.-Philadel-
ohia Press.
The Vicor-Now. boys, what animal sup
plies you with boots and gives you meat
First Boy -Father.-Moon-
shine
You have profound admiration for
that philosopher
stand what he writes .
That's true. But the fact that he IN
be wonderfully smart man. Washing
Nodd-Tm going to give chndren's par
ty, VIII you Gomez
Todd-Qn one condition.
THAT can play with the children and
/ don't have to talk with the grown-ups. -
Life.
number of discrepancies
Make sad this earthly lot;
/ Advice is always plentiful
But coal ard beef are not.
Washington Star.
r-a-,Fo-,~- ~ Now, VI e-,ors-,-vvatl
and what do you consider the strangest
Ln4nHs I4UnUon2
New Yorlzer-The American bars.-Moon-
shine.
Mrs. Gntedge-How do you like the new
butle-2
Giltedge-He's a peach Made me feel
| at home at onee.-Life.
Ran Ten Penny Nail Through His
Hand.
While opening a box. ], G. Mount OF
Three Mile Bav N Y ran a ten penny
4 nail through the feshx- mart ~ his boDj