The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-11-16


sydney Smith once wittly remarked: The British
army ought never to leave ENGLAND except in OF
actual invasion"
r
The other day the hunorst Oliver Herford.
friend: What is the matter with your hair.
70 be leaving YOU. give anything I own 10 get IL
back" said the perpexed always noticed
returned Herford that hair il the head
in the brush"
youthful member OF parliament advised
b. bibulous member OF his audiences to go home
his mother" i think" young candidate said my
friend might his own advice with advantage FOR
he does outsrown his affection for
Bottle
Ess
1t is said W. s Gilbert was meant for the bar
and his father him turning other
directions If you would only stick it said the elder
Gilbert, you might become lord chancellor 50 l
might answered the author -Pinafore 10 be- and
stick TO the theatre may become Sheridan Ones as
likely the other. two prefer Sheridan
That was preference lucky for stage
Z K
In country districts ireland it is not unusual
TO see the owners simply ehalked
vehicles in order TO comply with regulations
is related that policeman once accosed countryman
whose name had been wiped out unknown to him BY
mischievous boy rs this yours my good man"
Av coorse it Is. the reply you anything
matter wild it? I ohsarve said tie pompous police
man. that the is o-bitherated.~ Then yere
wrong auoth the countryman who had never come
across the long word before. FOR me names O Reilly
Justice shiras walked into his crestfaIen snd
weary. says Washington dispatch Pain Vas marked
on his counensnce and he atmosphere
ot utter heIplessness sought 10 lighter his bur
den
Don't try said the justice dejectedy lis not the
matter OF il come for all time
A great sorrow possesses disappointment bghted
hope in trusted friend faith broken ruined.
Some secret sorrow. judge you cannot
No than that Ny whole town knows it,
of t.Il
about
why, judge. can't
Yes yes. Worse STILL true Reliable witness You
see, ne was waiting ferrybost Sunday morning
to be taken the river preach
syman The ferryman, who had up village
errsnd, had left fishing rod hanging
of the boat with beted hook dangling water.
1t would have been all right had sinful
fish The pastor noting the ag-
tatlons simply put his foot the keep It from
going overheard But know it's the first step
This his downfall His thoughts turned
from saving the rod saving The terryman
nowhere in sight POOR fell landed
the the village lawyer drove by and the
gossips did the rest
How much did
The ferrymsn less than pound but. worst of
all, it hornpout.'
The reader for the publishing doing little
marketing. and the grocer had handed him in change
n suspicious looking dollar Dill.
He looked t-mindedly and handed II back.
Il End myself unable this he said and
with return IT, You understand however that
it is declined lack of merit but because for par
tcular purpose it is unavailable"
<
At the time of signor Duses visit TO
she occupied box in certain theatre. the
nights when she herself playing. She and her
companions in merry mood together
during the performance, which Of de-
mand their undivided Their vvacy disturbed
a severe lady sitting the box. who heard
make complimentary remarks about people who
talked public entertainments. The Indignant
was inclined however 10 make for that little
woman in black" meaning signora Duse. since it
obvious she had never before been
her life Ia no idea how TO behave there.
The youth had adopted the pompadour method
ing his hair the father didn't like The
that there was only one sensible and manly way
either side. Everything else dudsh aud affected
his opinion Only a privileged liber-
ties with old established methods
Young man." he said. he looked the youth over
YOU look like fool"
no discussion and shortly thereafter an old
friend OF the family
It's startling he said, by way pleasan. comment
how much you resemble your father
so he's just been telling me, answered youth.
The old gentleman looked hare at his son FOR mo-
nent.
Well he conceded j guess your brain hasn't
been affected by your hair dressing as
vet"
zEg Es
a story is told OF a sudden into which Napoleon
l. fell day just he down dinner he had
scarcely partalen Of mouthfu when apparently sorne
thought recollection stung
1pportune thought recollection stung
and receding from table without risi1r
hair he qpfed his foot-dash, table crash.
dinner the emperor sprngng up. paced fh-
-oom with rapid strides Dunand his attendant looked
On and. quick thought wreck was cleared away.