Evening star., 1902-03-22
J0BSON AS A DOCTOR

DO you know what I'm going to fetch
home on my way from the Office this even
ing?" inquired MrItJobson of Mrs. Jobson
at the breakfast table one morning about
ten days ago.
Mrs. Jobson had no idea, of course, anc
she said SO.
I'm going to fetch home," said Mr.. job
son. oracularly, about two pounds of pow
dered sulphur and a jug of blackstrap mo-
lasses of the old-fas ashioned kind
rWhat for?" inquired Mrs. Jobson.
what for?" repeated Mr.. Jobson, with
a surprised expression. Now, what dye
suppose powdered sulphur and molasses are
generally used for-catnip tea? Mrs Job
son, might 1 inquire whether you ever had
home as young girl-a real, sure-enough
home, presided over by mother who
knew enough to repair to shelter when the
rain began? Is it possible that you never
heard of the combination OF sulphur and
moiasses for use. as biood-purlfylng
spring medicine?
Oh, yes, Mrs. Jobson had heard of that.
"'You have, hey?" said Mr.. Jobson. well,
what do you think of it as spring medi-
cine?"
Mrs. Jobson reluctantly replied that she
thought 1t all right in some respects,
There are no butts about it," said Mr.:
Jebson, In his most impressive judicial
tone. Sulphur ard molasses make the
greatest spring medicine that ever came
over the hills. And that's the stun that
were going to take every morning before
breakfast for month or so. Just like ev-
erybOdy else, we've been sitting around all
winter like hot-house plants, eating too
much and not taking anything like enough
exercise. The result is that our blood S
all thickened and clogged up. and If we
don't take something to clarity our sys-
IN
the rest of the year. Sulphur and mo-
lasses is the thing, and when we take 1t
right along for about month We'll feel
like colts just turned loose in field Of
dandelons.
Mr.. Jobson having assumed his I-have-
spoke manner, Mrs. Jobson didn't make
any reply for the sake of peace, but it was
obvious that she wasn't looking forward to
the sulphur and Holasses scheme with any
great degree Of equanimity.
MIR. Jobson was as good as his word, and
home he brought that evening the package
of powdered sulphur and huge jug of
blackstrap molasSeS. for which he had to
search the town. After dinner he mixed
the great spring medicine in large crock,
all the time conversing volubly on the Won
ders wrought by the stuff on the human
frame If consistently adhered to.
1T won't do You any good II you only
take it once In a WHILE" he explained.
you've got to stay right with 1t every
day for month or so to get ally good out
gras, but that's only a detail. It's reachin,
so to speak, and that's the main thing"
When Mr. Jobson made his appearance
for breakfast the next morning Mrs. job
already presiding ove' the crock
Of sulphur and molasses.
Have you taken yours yet?' inquired
Mr.. Jobson.
NO" she answered, Il was waiting for
you to come down, so that we crulG take
1t at the same time. Ugh! 1t Jocks 50
nasty!'
Don't try to be quite so girly-sirly. Mrs.
Jobson." said Mr.. Jobson. sarcastically.
Airs like that aren't exactly becoming; in
a person of your years.
Mrs. Jobson produced a couple OF table
spoons and handed one of them to Mr..
Jobson. But if she expected that he was
going to be the first to go against the
spring medicine she was mistaken, He
stood by in an attitude of expectancy, and
so there was nothing for her to 10 but to
dip into the crock. delve up spoonful oi
the gritty mixture and swallow 1t. she
made an extremely wry face owe: It, but
said nothing.
Mr.. Jobson then dipped into the mess,
bringing up a considerably smaller spoon
full than Mrs. JobSpn had taken, and down.
ed it. His counte1lance looked mighty dis
torted by the time he had swallowed the
stuff. and he spluttered and coughed lot
over it for some time.
''Do you like it as well you did when
you were young one?' inquired Mrs. job
son.
Its greatr' srlnttered Mr.. Jobson, but
he didn't say it in convincing way. he
didn't have his usual appetite for break
fast. and he looked thoughtful throughout
He wasn't feeling well, he said, when he
returned hame that evening. and he went
to bed early. When he made his appear
ance in the dining room for breakfast Mrs.
JObson was again lowering over the sui
phur and moIasses crock. Mr.. Jobson didn't
go anywhere near 1t.
well. the spring medicine is stirred up
and waiting said Mrs. Jobson. Mr.. job
son pretended to be so interested in the
headlines of the morning paper that he
didn't hear her.
Are you ready for the blood purifier"
inquired Mrs. Jobson again, and again Mr..
Jobson pretended that he hadn't heard.
Then Mrs Jobson walked right over to
where he had pumped himself into a chair
and said:
my dear. shall we take our sulphur and
molasseS noW?'
"Huh?'' said Mr.. Jobson making believe
that he had Just emerged from his trance.
Our spring medicine, you know" said
Mrs. Jobson.
oh" said Mr.. Jobson. sternly, ''you mean
that beastly decoction that you forced upon
me yesterday morning. do you? No, Mrs.
Jobson, I, for one, am not-n-o-t, not-going
to take it this morning or any other morn
Ing. You can take all you want of it-gal-
Ions and hogsheads of 1t If you choose-but
If You think for an infinitesimal fraction of
time that you're going to bullyrag and bull
doze and hector me into sozzling my system
with poisonous mess that makes me feel
as If I'd been living on green snails fAr a
month that causes me to wake up in the
morning with taste in my mouth like a
motormans glove. that puts every tooth In
my head on edge and that's liable to make
me break out in bOils and carbuncles until
I'd look like twentieth century Job-then
you're dreaming, Mrs. Jobson. and it's
pretty near time for you to wake up
The crock of sulphur and molasses went
into the garbage can by the time the slop
gentleman got around that morning, and
Mrs. Jobson never deposited anything in
that receptacle that did her so much good.
NOT so VERY BAD.