The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-06-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

E. Ackermann, in The Engineering Maya
zine for June.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A landlord in the north who had weak
limbs and walked with difficulty even
with crutches took great interest in a
school on his estate. Finding one day
at the school door a boy crying bitterly,
the gentleman very sympathetically
wanted to know the reason of his grie6.
THE master hit me-" was the reply.
what were you doing2"
81 wasna daein onything."
Nonsense. you must have been mis-
behaving
mo, I Wasna''
Come. now. here's a shilling for you
If you tell me what you were doing"
Il only looked DOT the window and
saw you comm doom the brae. and [
said: There's old thin legs Tit Bits.
What. more money! See here, young
man. What has become of that last five
hundred / gave you? Horses. wine,
clothes. What2"
NO father, no. I've been playing
bridge with, her."-Life.
Dis worI is so fun er wise mems dat
a fool is a holiday.-Atlanta Constitu-
tor.
The boy looked up from his book puz-
zled- What's a dyspeptic, father?" he
asked
"A dyspeptic. my boy" was the reply,
sis a man with a hypercritical stoTu-
ach. "-Chicago Post.
There are times when differences of
rank DO not count, and an Irish soldier
is said to have CHANGED upon one of
them during the late war in Cuba. He
was discovered by the sergeant of his
company in a hole. well out of the way
rsF hot fn
have been engaged in active service.
Get out of that holel' commanded
the sergeant, sternly. Get out of it this
minute"
The broad Irish face looked up at him
with stubborn resistance written on ev
cry feature
you may be me superior officer" he
said, boldly, tbut all the same Oi'm the
wan that found this hole fir-rst!''-
Youths Companion.
ssAH demand for my client" shouted
the barrister, in the voice of a man who
was paid for it. lis iustice"
T am very sorry I can't accommodate
you replied the judge; but the law
won't allow me to give him more than
two years. ''-Tit-Bits-
Grandma-He's been good today.
Little Sister-Yes. Mamma told him
if he wasn't she'd send him to bed with
out his supper.
NIEanQIld-1dXDe mes laYln sup
plies in case Of trouble--Puck
s.As far as municipal affairs go, I
believe one political party is as bad as
the other"
Nonsense! Both can't be in power
at once. ''-Philadelphia Press.
Hope is a good thing said Uncle
Eben, " 'ceppin' when you sits down and
makes it a 'scuse fob not worRin'.' p
Washington Star.
my young friend" said Senator sor-
gum. ''you, have an excellent talent for
speech making"
Yes compiacently replied the states
man who gets great deal of applause
saying that oratory is a gift
That's what it is. There are mighty
| few people WIG can get paid for it now
adays- Washington Star.
-Kearney seems to be doin'
well in his prisint job
Casey-Ah, but he'll not lasht long at
it,
cassidy-He seems dacint an sober
Casey-Aye! but he'll not lasht a
month. Oi've said so iver since he got
the job two years ago an Ofn bet DIN
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Bridget, don't you think you can get
along without so much company? I'm
I IT..
Sure, ma, am. thot's why Dim stay
| ing wild We. Brooklyn Life.
1.-The BlowIetts seem to be very much
cur up over their uncle's death"
Yes, I believe they'e about $50 OOC
more sorry than they expected to be. -
Brooklyn Life.
Successful Candidate sha'n't forget
the promises in virtue of which I have
been elected.
Political Adanager-That's right. Bear
| them in, mind. With a little brushine
up they'll probably elect you again.
Puck.
What this world needs to make it hap
py IS the sustaining philosophy of the
Georgia man who exclaimed when the
bank failed: Thank the Lord. I never
had a dollar ahead in my nfel'-Atlanta
Constitution
Nov do the skies conspire
To roast old Georgy state;
The poet tWangS his Tyre,
The liar digs his bait
Atlanta Constitution.
you won't be bothered any more by
the minister, papa"
Why not, boy"
Because he told Miss Judson. nv Sun.
day school teacher, that he'd finished our
block Life
A Kansas editor wrote this obituar.
notice. He was born May 3. 1875 and
therefore escaped this earth in time t
/ celebrate his tWentl-seventh birthday il
arcning skies, leaving terrestrial land OF
Friday. March 49, 1902 at $3.50 .. m, cen
tral tirne.-Oklahoma State Capital.
Nowadays life is but an incident in tn
reading Of books.-Life.