Connecticut western news., 1902-06-12
 WHACkER } BILLS { CONVERSION S
By H. Wadsworth Parker
Copyright. 1903. by
 

 that his wife was holding out his bear skin coat wNh both hands. He con- tinued to stare into the depths of the open fireplace. The nickel alarm clock ticked noisily on the high mantelshelf, the only sound in the cabin tucked under Bilger's hill. The minute hand touch ed F, and Mrs. Rollins coughed apollo getically.
 The Reverend John came out of his trance and slipped into the waiting coat His wife cast an adoring look up at his square shouldered six feet one.
 'I hated to interrupt your thoughts, Jack, but the stage is due in minute. Were you thinking of your sermon"
 Not much, my girl" replied Rollins. ~I was thinking of that twentyfour mile ride with Whacker Bill. It Is honestly the worst feature of this charge. I like to go over to Las Vegas. They're a friendly set, and they're al- ways glad to see me. But the ride that foul mouthed Bill, with his swear ing at every rut In the road! But I'll cure him yet I feel somehow as If I'd been sent to this place to save whacker Bills soul, and I'm going to do it."
 John Rollins set his mouth in the firm curve that his wife could remem- Der from the old football days, long be- fore he had taken orders in the church. The little woman clasped and un- clasped her hands nervously.
 q hope. Jack, dear, you'll be very, very careful in dealing with Bill. He's an awful character, they say-and"- "Yes, he claims to be the champion bad man of the Las Vegas valley, but you remember certain little sling once did the business with another braggart, and I'm loading up with stones for the same trick" He smiled cheerily into his wife's anxious face, kissed her tenderly and crossed to the door.
 1 Don't worry, little woman. I won't hurt him or lay myself liable to the | law"
 I The Reverend Rollins threw open the door and gazed down the winding mountain street. The commotion in front of the postofice told him that the stage had arrived. He stalked down the flower edged path to meet it. l When the stage plunged and swayed past the cabin, Mrs. Rollins waved her hand to her husband, sitting straight and smiling beside the rough driver. Then she ran into the house, where, burying her face in her husbands big chair, she had hearty cry. | On and on swung the stage, Bill chatting amiably of his former triumphs when the vigilantes repre- sented the law and life was worth liv- ing. Nothing happened to disturb his serenity until they had passed Las Cruces, when they suddenly came upon jerk and blow from side to side, like . ship In the teeth of a gale.
 What Whacker Bill said about the road commissioners of the county would not bear publication. As he stormed and raved in the maddest of profanity the Rev. John Rollins squar- ed round and looked Whacker Bill fair ly In the eye.
 Here, you triangulated sine qua non of a perambulator, shut upr'
 Bill stopped in the middle of | mighty oath and stared at the mis- sionary in amazement. So preachers lost their temper, and such a quiet chap as Preacher Rollins too!
 Bill forgot the condition of the road while he ruminated over this fact Then they struck an ugly stone, a mailbag flew through space, and Bill came back to earth by a most profane route. Rollins held the reins while Bill went back to gather up Uncle Sam's possessions. The offending bag went up with crash and an oath, and Bill was following with a still mightier accompaniment of profanity when he felt the young missionary's grip of steel on his wrist.
 You bifurcated prismodial of a ne plus ultra iconoclast, stop that noise and tend to businessP'
 Whacker Bill climbed into the seat without a word. Rollins calmly light cd a cigar and studied the scenery, and they rode five miles in eloquent silence. Then Bill could stand it no longer.
 "Pardner, whar did you Parn itr'
 At college" came the terse reply.
 "Lordy, an I've heerd 'em called religious cemeteriesr murmured Bill, and silence once more settled between them.
 Rollins was smoking his third cigar and feeling a bit nervous as they GOV cred the last two miles into Las Vegas. Just as they caught sight of the towns lights twinkling In the mist one of the lead horses stumbled and fell. In ten seconds there was a mad combination of horses, tangled harness and profan- fly in front of the stage. When the damage had been repaired to a steady fire of cuss words, Bill returned to his post, swearing as he mounted the step, swearing as he gathered up his lines, swearing as he cracked the whip. Then that calm, even voice fell upon his ear.
 oThat's enough from you, you quad rangular hypotenuse and polyhedral old scout-you triangular, trigonomet- rical descendant of the antediluyian periodv'
 Bill fairly gasped. Words failed him. One hand clasped the lines, and the fingers of the other worked nervously, but 1t was not raised against his com panion. The latter continued to gaze at him sternly.
 You psychological progeny of a mythological ancestry, you zanthidium cosmopolite, you problematical de- scendant of decadent progenitors, want you to understand that when I'm riding with you and there's any swearing to be done IAill do it! You don't know good cuss words when you see them"
 The stage drew up before the Empire hotel. Five minutes later Whacker Bill stumbled up to the bar and asked