Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-09-20
ALL ABOUT A VEHICLE.
Colonel Wagner Had Good Reason fol
Wanting q Better Ona.

| 1t is not often that the records of the gov
| eminent contain as much genuine humor as
| is shown in the official correspondence be-
tween Col. A. L. Wagner, assistant adjutant
| general, and officers Of the quartermaster's
| department In Manila, in reference to the
| conveyance provided the former during the
| early portion Of his official sotourn in the
| Philippines The correspondence took place
| during the campaign Of 1900. It began
| with letter from Colonel Wagner to Major
John T. Knight, the depot quartermaster at
Manila, in which he said:
II have the honor to invite your attention
| to the fact that, though application was
made some weeks ago for suitable con-
veyance for the use Of the inspector general
of this department and myself, the only re-
suit thus far has been the hope deferred
which "maketh the heart SICK" and which.
at the same time, makes the rest of ones
Individuality extremely tired The fact that
the conveyance now in use by Major Beach
and myself Is an unattractive combination Of
hearse and chicken coop Is one that I
can endure in a becoming spirit Of humility,
though 1t might seem proper that there
should be some visible evidence that in the
matter of TRANSPORTATION the senior sta f1
officer Of an important department is given
more consideration than is habitually ex-
tended to a company slop barrel: but it may
Well be doubted whether 1t accords with
such a rickety and jolting conveyance for a
| staff officer that uponn his arrival at his
Office he finds his inner man churned to an
| unlovely omelet composed of the wrecks of
the viscera, his conscience and his profess
sional attachments. THIS request Is neither
inspired by pride noff prompted by the
spirit of a sybafite. do not aspire to an
iron chariot, such as baffled the Almighty
In His campaign against the Canaanites Of
the valley Judges l.. 19). nor even to
blackboard OF the pattern rendered famous
in more recent military operations Nay,
more, I do not even aspire to a participa-
ton in the wheeled glory Of my junior in
| rank at division headquarters. nor to the
auartermaster. bit I Would like to have
| conveyance which GOULD leave standing
with a reasonable degree Of confidence that
it would not be removed, In my absence by
police party. As an eofense against the
Major knight referred this letter to Lieut..
B. Kossman 35th Volunteer Infantry. in
charge of land Transportation. and ex-
pressed "the hope Lat he can repair, re-
juvenate or even substitute new quilez
for this cross between a hearse and chick.
en- coop now used by Col. Wagner"
Lieut.. Kossman subsequently, Endorsed tha
paper as follows:
Respectfully returned to the depot quar-
termaster, Manila, p l., with the informa-
ton that the one boss shay has been re-
placed by new quflez, thus providing
more suitable vehicle for such portions of
the department of southern Luzon as may
still remain intact and susceptible OF con-
veyance. Regretting the inability of this
branch of the service in the way OF restora-
tion of wrecked viscefa and individual con.
sciences, 1t IL respectfully suggested that
this part; of the communication be referred
to the medical department of the army and
such repairs and restoration as they may
be able to mako" sss