Sunday Washington globe., 1902-01-12
ANOTHER CORRESPONDENT
sends In Some Blank Verse, Which
Is Very Good and Hits the Nail
ON the Head.
soLiLoQUy

soLiLooUY
A written composition, recitng what it is
supposed person speaks to himself - Web-
asF.
I was very bad poo hoo hoo under the
Democratic administration, but now I am
very good, because it is generally accepted
that am hot member of the Republican
party, hal hal | tried very hard to swipe
Bushnell when he was running for governor
of Ohio even dehed the civil service law to
defeat him and elect Campbell, so that Alb
ner's brother wouldn't be a candidate for
President, but it was all in vain-"love's
labor lost" I also tried very hard as an
adjunct to this effort, to reform the postal
service on the Lake Shore railroad, aud
many Of the old postal clerks, all Repub-
licans, and some Of them old soldiers, we're
! removed on my recommendation l knew
I how to work that trick, for learned 1t with
my uncle George when he was postmaster
at Toledo. Uncle George and Upcle Henry
-the 'judge'--are both good Republicans
now. aud so are my brothers, Frank, Billy
and Charlie-fOr revenue only, hal hal l
wonder If any of the papers are on file in
the Post-office Department with my sig
nature on them, showing how the railway
postal clerks were removed-how easily /
surmounted and vanquished the civil SER
vice law. suppose they are, but now they
are obsolete and no one will ever uuearth
them, for attn a good Republican, and oc-
cupy a soft seat in the amen corner Of the
glorious old C. o. p.
When I came into my present Office I
found IL necessary to discipline the letter
carriers, particularly old soldiers, and had
them knocked down and dragged out Of the
service because they had been charging
overtime several years before I came into
the Free Delivery Office, sixteen at Phila-
phia at ore blow.
In the year 1895 / saved $3.50, 900 and 5000,
600 m 1896, all because no overtime had
been made in these two years. / calculated
those two years on the basis of former years
and guessed the S85o,ooo True, no money
was saved but the figures looked big in the
Congressional Record I felt proud to save
so much money-on paper. See Congress
st0nai Record, March, 1896.
am not a figure head, but when il
comes to the test of making up reports
true or false, can throw in the figures as
rapidly as bird shot out Of a shovel, ."
| counting into tie millions. am a mathe-
matical prodigy, one Of Dayball's lightning
calculators.
/ / can't imagine how the GLOBE ever found
1 it out that Abner compelled Perry to with
4 draw my resignation didn't want to re-
sign nOhow, but those confounded, amazing
admissions wrung from me by Senator
/ Pritchard humiliated me into the mud but
/ il didn't seem to affect Abner for he rather
admired my innocent frankness. l am still
doing business at the old stand, but If Alb
ner should now drop me / am afraid Rural
Free Delivery couldn't save me.
Rural Free Delivery, alb that is my trump
card. am the originator, sole promoter Of
that graft. Old Colonel Sellers was right:
There's millions in it." don't care what
some people may think, or say I believe
iudicious advertising and plenty of it, al
ways pays, especially if it can be done at
the public expense. Didn't Perry and I
food the country from ocean to ocean with
our illustrated pamphlets Rural Free De-
livery and how to obtain it?"
hope no member of this Congress, or
any other, will be silly enough to call on
the Public Printer for an itemized bill
Of Rural Free Delivery printing. If he
does none Of the six millions / expect to
handle next year will go to him. He may
rest on that assurance now. It may be a
little difficult to explain certain matters and
transactions, but have been in several
tight places before, and always manage,
through luck and nerve, to squeeze through.
For instance, may have to explain why
some postmasters at distributing offices on
rural routes are agents for the sale of farm
ers letter boxes. | may have to ex.
plain, if can, why strong wooden box
made and put up by the farmer himself ism Z
just as good and secure as a galvanized iron
box when neither is under lock and key
I will have to fortify myself on these points
but then, 7 have found in my varied ex
perience that a smart lie, we'll told, is often
more eficacious and convincing than the
truth. / understand that part Of it thor
oughly / have passed through the hopper
in that mill more than once, and am ready
for another grist- A. w. NJ.