The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-10-26
Many Amusing Bits of Conversation
Can BE Heard Even by the
Casual Observer.
PECULIAR QUESTIONS ASKED
THE TICKET SELLER EXPECTED To
BE A NINE OF INFORMATION.
willie Collier, Comedian, Gets Much
"Material" by Loanng About
Theater Box Omces.

The popular comedian, Willie Collier,
once remarked that he loved to loaf around
box offices, because" he said, 81 always
hear so many amusing bits Of conversation.
and many of 'em afford me good material
to work up into humorous stage dialogue.
A visit of two or three hours in the snug
little quarters of the box office man. on
busy day will convince any one that COL
lier knows where to look for his ma
terial" The men that hold full sway at the
ticket windows OF the theaters have every
opportunity to become pretty well &C
quainted with that ever-interesting enigma
known human nature. and IL the box
Office man happens to be Of the turn OF
mind that enables one to appreciate the
comical side of things he can enjoy many
a silent chukle to himself in the course of
the days routine. The ticket sellers In the
Indianapolis playhouses are OF this discern
ing type, and many funny incidents are re-
lated by them.
''Of course, it's during the special occa-
sions, such as fair week and carnival time,
that we have the most amusing experiences
with ticket buyers" said William F. Leary.
the box office man at English's Opera
House, ''as the city is filled at such times
with people who are not accustomed to at
tending the theater often. and who are, in
consequence, less familiar with theatrical
attractions as a whole. ] don't mean to
say, mind you, that the good folks from
the provinces are the only ones to make
laughable mistakes concerning the current
attractions, for there are people that can
go to the theater week after week and still
manage to retain their original ignorance
of theatrical things in general. Such peo-
pie attend the playhouse just for the sake
of having an evenings entertainment with
out giving a thought-or, for that matter.
caring a continental-as to the personality
OF the players or the character of the play.
For instance. a man whom / know to be a
regular patron Of this house came up to the
ticket window one. morning two weeks ago
and asked what the show was tor be that
night. I answered. rather mechanically.
suppose, Would You for Five MillionsT I
shall never forget the expression that came
over his face as he snapped back at me.
Would I-what? The emphasis that he
placed on the what together with the sus-
picious look with which he sized me Up.
showed quite plainly that he thought was
that the phrase, Would You for Five Mil
lionsT was the title of the comedy. he
smiled sarcasticaily and remarked. We'll.
it's a id poor one, but I'll risk taking in
the show, anyway
A Similar INSTANCE.
"An instance of a somewhat similar ma
ture occurred last season when the farce.
Are You a MasonT was presented at this
theater. / had been busily occupied in
selling seats to a long line OF people that
bo1 70 fha hoy Off
was opened at o'clock on the evening Of
the first performance, when little red
headed man, who. judging by his meek
voice, was Of a retiring disposition, sp-
peared at the window and inquired as to
what was going on at the theater that
night Just as he asked the question Man.
ager Miller entered the box office and spoke
to me about something or other. an
swered the little red-headed mans ques-
ton. giving the title OF the play. Are You
a Mason" and then turned for a minute to
speak to Mr. Miller. When I faced about
toward the window again my little man
was gone. somebody else having taken his
place in the line. / CHANGED to notice him
about ten minutes later standing on the
opposite side of the lobby watching the
people about the box office. He seemed to
finally, when the rush for tickets had
abated. he crossed timidly over to the win
dow and said: Does everybody have 20 be
a Mason to get into this shown He was
so frightfuliy embarrassed when I ex-
planned matters to him that doubt II he
ever got over IL.
MANY of the good people from the coun-
try appear to be laboring under the i'm
preston that q theater box ONCE Is moth
ing less than a public bureau OF Informal
ton. and / only wish that I could remem-
Der more of the ridiculous questions that
were asked me during fair week. when the
city was crowded with provincial visitors.
There was one caller here at the box once
that can never forget This was our con-
versation as nearly as can recall 1t:
whats the shown
1.-The Burgomaster.'
'Burgo-master. Oh. yes; it's played by
Mr. and Mrs. Kendall
mo; you're thinking Of THE Ironmas-
ter"'
We'll. who does play this oner
Its a musical comedy; there are over
sixty people in tt
well. who's the Ironmasterr
"'The Burgomaster. you mean. Mr.. Fred
Lenox takes that part
Never heard OF him I'm all my life. VIII
the show be out In time for me to catch
the train for Brazii?
I'm sure don't know, sir. IL hope So
The time schedule hasn't changed. has
it?'
"T sincerely trust not
what are the visiting hours at the Dea|
and Dumb InstituteT
I'm sorry. but don't know. SIR
Well, give me two tickets for this after
noon TO THE Ironmaster."' He paid for
the tickets with a contemptuous expression
on his face and then started away. but
turned back to ask me. with an ironicai
smile, L don't s'pose you know where can
catch a 'lectric car that'll take me TO the
corner of East Tenth street and Sterling
avenue, do your
81 gave him the correct directions for
reaching his destination. pretending 10 be
utterly oblivious of his attitude toward me.
Thanks. he called back at me. with mock
enthusiasm. as he made for the street, I
didn't give you credit for KNOWN anything