The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1902-03-25

nouncing the new break in the poor little
correspondence she had promised him.
The last paragraph of that note now
took on a sinister meaning. He recalled
it word by word:
I feel like | cannot trife with you
in this way again. It is humiliating 10
me and to you. | can see no light in our
future. l release you from any tie I may
have imposed on your life. I feel have
fallen short Of what you deserve, but I
am so situated between my mothers
failing health and my fathers will, and
my love for them both, l cannot help it.
| Will love you always. but you are free
Was not this after all a kindly and
final breaking of their pledge to one ar
other? Yet she had not returned the lit
tie medal he had given her with that
exchange of eternal love and faith. Could
she keep this and really mean TO break
with him finally? He could not believe it.
His whole life had been dominated by
this dream of an ideal love. For it he
had denied himself the i~ndulgences that
his college mates and young associates
had taken as a matter of course. He
had never touched wine. He had never
smoked. He had never learned the diff
ference between a queen and a Jack in
cards. He had never firted with women.
He had given his body and soul to the
service of his ideal and bent every en-
ergy to the development of his mind that
be might grasp with more power its
sweetness and beauty when realized.
Did it pay? The flesh was shrieking this
question now into the face of the spirit.
He had met the one woman his soul
had desired above all others. There
could be no mistake about that. And
now she was failing him when he had
laid at her feet his whole life. 1t made
him sick to recall how utter had been
his surrender.
Why should he longer deny the flesh,
when the souls dream failed the test of
pain and struggle?
Was it possible that he had been d
fool and was missing the full expression
Of life. which is both flesh and spirit?
"Am / not q narrow-minded fool. in
stead of a wise man. to throttle my i'm
pulses and deny the flesh for an imagi-
nary gain?' he asked himself aloud.
| She had written he was free.
well by the eternal, ! will be free"
he exclaimed. Il will sweep the whole
gamut of human passion and human
emotion. l will drink life to the deepest
dregs of it's red wine. | will taste, feel,
see, touch, neal all! / will not be
cheated. l will know for myself what it
is to live"
When he woke to the consciousness Of
time and place, he found he was seated
: at the Sulphur Spring where it gushed
from the foot of the hill, and that the
eastern horizon was grey with the dawn.
A sense of neW-fOund power Welled up
in him.. He had regained control of him
self.
Good! l will no longer be a moping,
love-sick fool. l am a man. To will is to
live, to cease to will is to die. I nave
/ regained my will live!'
He walked rapidly back to town with
vigorous step. His mind was clear.
l Il will never write her another line
/. until she writes to me-. l will not be a
dog and whine at any rich mans door Or
5 any woman's feet. The world is large,
+. and l am large. I'll carve my name in
its temples and compel it's applause.
, will be sought as we'll as seek. Besides,
my country needs me. If l am to give
! myself it will be for larger ends than for
the smiles of one woman!"
p And then for two weeks he entered de-
liberately on a series Of designations. He
left Hambright and sought convivial
friends on the seacoast. He amazed
them by asking to be taught cards. He
made the acquaintance of the art OF
gambling and played cards for money
{ Ger forty-eight hours without sleep. The
! players only paused for lunches, which
: they ate while playing.
At last from sheer physical exhaustion
. he stopped.
Boys, that is the most thrilling ex-
: element l ever tasted" he said soberly
[ as he rose from the table.
He swept the gumut of all the senses
, without reserve, day after day, and night
: after night.
u At the end of two weeks he found him
3 self haunting the postoffice oftener. with
| a vague sense of impending calamity or
JOY, he could not tell which.
: THE things all over, | tell you" he
said to himself again and again. AM
= then he would hurry to the next mail as
5 eagerly as ever. AS the excitement be-
) gan to tire him the sense of longing fol
her face, and voice, and the touch of hel
hand became intolerable.
MY God, I'd give all the world holds
of sin to see her and hear one wore
I from her lipSi" he exclaimed as he
locked himself in his room one night.
l Why didn't she answer one little wore
d to my last letter." he continued. A
that was the best letter | ever wrote
X her. | put my soul in every word.
: didn't believe the woman lived who coulc
read such confessions and such WORSHIP
WllhOut reply! Surely she has a heart
= When he went to the postoffice mex
) day he got a letter forwarded from
Hambright by the preacher. It was post
marked N~arragansett Pier, and addressed
III a bold masculine hand he had never
seen before.
He tore it open, and inside found hi
q last letter to Sallie' Worth, returned will
!" the seal unbroken. He sprang to his fee
l with flashing eyes, trembling from hea,
to foot.
"Ah, they did not dare to let her re
celve another of my letters, So a clerl
returns it unopened" he cried.
And Il great lump rose in his throat a
he thought of the scenes of the past tw,
weeks. The old fever and the old longin:
came rushing over his PROSTATE sou
now IN reSlStlesS torrents: How dare
I'd strange hand touch q message to her,
L. could Str3Oglp him We will coo ub,