The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-03
~~~~~~~

least tend to keep the American hobo
out OF the Philippines.-Philadelphi
Ledger.
He-It Is reported around town that
We are engaged. Shells it? What
idiotic things people do say!-Somer-
vile Journal.
Giadys-They say Harold is an ex-
pert in the art of self-defense. EVELYN
Nonsense! Edith made him propose
in just one week.
Johnny, where did you hear that
bad word?' "Why, papa, didn't you
know that mamma played ping-pongY'
The Yale Record.
Goodness! how that railroad stock
does fuctuate." "Yes, it's a wise rail-
road stock that knows its own par
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Westside-ls Briggs still paying
attention to your sister? Eastside-
Naw-they've been married this two
Notwithstanding Life.
Muggins- Youngpop is going to have
his baby christened Bill. Buggins-How
strange. Muggins-Oh, 1 don't know.
He came on the first of the month.
The New Maid-And the mistress
cooks some herself, does she? The
Cook-Oh, Wis! But there's nawthin
wasted-I makes it over into Irish
SteWs.-Puck.
Elderly Lady-Aren't you ashamed
to ee seen smoking cigarettes, little
boy? Little Boy-Sure | am; but wots
Teller to do when he amt got de
price Of cigarg-Philadelphi Rec
ord.
Teacher-Now, Ethel, who wrote
the "Elegy in Country Churchyard"
Ethel-Please. ma'am. it was Willie
Sniff l seen him goin' in the church
yard at recess, maam.-Chicago Daily
News.
Eleanor-What made you give UP so
ciety, Edmonia? EdmOnia-Oh! l got
so dead-tired of seeing people who are
nobody trying to act like somebody;
and people who are somebody actin
like nobody.
First Boy (contemptu0usly)-Hu
Your mother takes in washin'. Second
Boy-Oh, course; you didn't s'pose
she'd leave it hangin' out overnight,
unless your father was in prison, did
ye?-Tit-Bits.
At the concert: Fosdick-WEy do
you applaud such long and weari-
some sonata? Keedick-Ive been sit
ting so Ions that all my limbs have
gone to sleep. l wish to restore the
Observation-Disclosures.
when a young man Is in love-" said
Uncle Eben, ',don't blame him II he's
kind o. hard to get along wifi He can't
helm habbin' de idea dat any one who
kin win de 'fections of sech fine lady
must be sumpin' great"
I'm fixed,~ said the young doctor;
"I've got big enough practice to keep
me in easy circumstances fer life"
But suppose you should lose half your
patients?" Iii just double my bills
on the others.-'-Philadelphia Press.
Greene-They tell me you send a
good many things to the magazines, as
we'll as to the daily papers Come
now. is there any money in literature!
Browser-If there isn't 1t Is no fauit
Of mine. | never took any out of it.
Georgia man, who has gone TO
Washington in search Of government
iob gives as his qualifications: l
cannot only write poetry and novels.
but there amt government mule that
can throw me.--Atlanta Constitution.
Mrs. Hickey (who is entertaining her
,ittle sons playmate. aged .. TO dinner
Willie, can YOU cut your own meat!
willie (who is struggling with piece
on his plate)-Yes. thank you l"'tn
dosnerate saw at the beef. I've cut
onite as tough meat as this at home
Glasgow Evening Times.
A blessing in disguise: i was SO
sorry to hear fox had been steaiing
vour poultry again. How unfortunate
',o,, arev, "Oh. we can bear it, miss
thank YOU kindly. You see the STOP
shire Hunt country comes on our farm
on one side, and the JOwlers on the
othor so we make claim on both' ana
thew each pay for the old hens?'-
Punch.
Brown lin the middle OF tall shoot
ing story)-Hardly had l taken ann
at the lion on my right. when | heard
] rustic in the jungle grass. ana per-
ceived an enormous tiger approaching
on NV left. now found myself on tne
,ns IF dilemma. Interested Little