davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18

This is the season of the year
when a young fellow has mountains
of trouble and loses weight and sleep
in worrying over what to purchase
his best girl for Christmas. This is
especially true of the country boy
who comes to town to rubber and
do his shopping. Now if there is
ever a time when male fool gets
right down to the very dregs Of
slobbering, jibbering, pulling, drive
ling imbecility it's when he is at
tempting to buy q Christmas pres
ent for some fair fastidious feminine
friend and a fellow realizes it most
potently as he goes from one store
to another starring in at the dis
play windows yet not daring to go
in lest the obliging clerks will sell
him something he don't want.
Most of the young fellows believe
with the late lamented Ruth Ash
more that it is a crime to give fe-
male girl anything useful or sub
stantial A majority of them are
of the opinion that only books or
flowers or music or bOnbOns or pic
lures are appropriate up to the point
of engagement when the climax is
reached with a solitaire followed by
a toilet set and a gradual tapering
off after marriage by easy stages
from a set of silver knives and forks
to marble-top center table and so
on down to calico dresses, new coal
scuttles, fire shovels and wash
boards. Propriety is a mighty i'm
portant consideration in this world.
Black glossy hair is crown OF glory
to woman but it utterly ruins the
looks of dish of cabbage. If the
gift our friend of tender years is to
90 some five or six hundred miles
by rail he really thinks -With hui
manity's customary perversity
that it should be something fragile
that would arrive at it's destination
in state of wild mash and ruin.
He imagines how pleased the idol Of
his affections would be to get nice
candy box with a picture of a b.
hemian hired girl and some other
birds on the lid and a quart or SO of
fricasseed bonbons seeping from the
bursted corners like crabapple mar
malade thr ~ q cOllander. Then
he pictures JOY at receiving a
shapeless of pasteboard and
paper and ST.. g. with the print of a
male clerks hoof on both sides of it
and an odor of cut flowers reduced
to ensilage, Then he thinks of
books and music but the books are
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
EiYsacl1s of Justice.

There seems to be a suggestion OF
poetic justice in the fate which has
oyertaken a street vender of cheap per-
fumes in Stockwell, N. Y, who has
just died as a result of being perfume
poisoned. The attending physicians
stated that the oil of almonds used in
the manufacture of his scents was re-
sponsible for the mans death.-Wash-
ington Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Good Excuse.

General James Grant Wilson told
this story the other night as one of
General Grants favorites:
"It was at the battle of Shiloh.
There was in the ranks tall, finely
built volunteer from Ohio. 1t was the
first time he had seen active service.
When he heard the roar of the shells
and saw his comrades falling, he lost
courage, dropped his gun and started
for the rear.
"'Herev Numbered the general in
command. What are you running forT
"The man turned his head and shout
ed back, Because 1 can't fly, you
darned foolv" = Philadelphia Public
Ledger
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
More Clothes Than Anyone Else.

The late Panmure Gordon of the
London stock exchange, was famous
as the man who had more clothes than
anyone else. Gordon generally spent
$4,000 a month on himself. THAT"
he used to say, sis the cost of the bare
necessities Of life for a gentleman
clothes, horses, carriages, a yacht, a
grouse moor, place in the country,
and all that, you know. Of course, il
Won want Injuries it costs Won more"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Cure of Distemper in Dogs.

NJ. Phisalix announced in April,
1901 that young dogs, inoculated with
attenuated cultures Of a cocco-bacillus
which he has named Pasteurella CAMS.
resisted the injection of the virus Of
sistemper and the direct contagion of
diseased animals. He has continued
his experiment for a year, and has
inoculated more than 1000 young
dogs. and his results show that dis
temper can be prevented practically in
every case.-Chicago Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18

Every now and then some man is
hanged or electrocuted for grinding
his wife into sausage or rapping her
gently but firmly on the head with
an ak or feeding her for years on
rat cheese. Why don't the fool who
yearns for release from marital bonds
take the less dangerous method of
buying his wife nice piece of furn-
iture or fine dress for Christmas =
something exquisite like he used to
before he married her? The aver
age housewife would never survive
the shock
Did you ever freeze on one side of
the face and roast on, the other, have
headache and cold feet, find all
food of bad taste, nervous and If
ritable, find nothing pleasant in the
visits of friend, anxious to wrangle,
think your medicine no good but just
a concoction of the DOCTORS to make
a little money out of you, get tired
Of lying down, standing up or restng
in. a chair, both weak and strong at
the same time, trying to be jolly and
finding only sarcasm at your
command, love your enemy, hate
your friend, prefer cold water to any
other beverage, refuse to smoke
ten-cent cigars, find your clothes too
heavy and yet not warm enough,
have your wife prepare good meal
and then tell her to give it to the
dog, be positive in everything, even
to the extent of knowing all others
lie, know that you are very sociable
yet see all sneak away when you
are in the room. These are just a
few of the symptoms of grippe, and
by which you will surely recognize
the disease, if it comes your way
Dist. Atty. Brown perpret1ated a
joke on Register of Deeds Tuff1ey
that was the principal topic for
courthouse jest yesterday. Atty.
Brown came into the registers office
for the purpose Of paying the re-
cording fees On batch of mortgage
es. The bill amounted to $2.65 and
the attorney jokingly handed the
register a receipt he had but recent
ly received in payment for lodge
due amounting to IS. The slip of
paper resembled draft, and the
register barely glanced at it, noting
that it was for S., passing it back
for endorsement. Atty. Brow n
went through a mock performance
of signing his name on the back, the
register in the mean time digging up
up 1885 in change. He accepted
the paper and handed over the
change. Before leaving the court
house Brown put others on to the
joke and Register Tufiey was the
seat of amusement for the rest of
the day.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
His Testimonial.

IL suppose" said the stonecutter,
"you will want 'Requiescat in pace on
your wifes monument?
NO." replied the bereaved Mr.. Hen
peck; make it 'Requiesco.
"That means L rest in peace,
doesn't it,"
Eyes, and you're to sign that Illus
band. philadelphia Record.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Documentary Evidence.

"Don't you despise man who pro-
poses by letter?'
ooh, l don't know. 1t may be unsat-
isfactory in some ways, but somehow
you feel little more certain of him
then. Perhaps the best way is to have
him propose by letter and then come
for his answer in person. Chicago
Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Biased.

Litigant-You are Mr. Motif, the
handwriting expert, l believe?
Other Man-Yes, sir.
Litigant-I would like to have you
as a witness in the case Of
Other Man-Beg pardon. l know
what case it is. | am retained ON the
other sde.-Chicago Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18

Leetle niggah baby a-sittin' on er bank,
Crocodile, oh, Mistah Crocodile!
Baby monty fat an crocodile jess long an
lank;
Crocodile, oh, Mistah Crocodile!
Baby sittin' OH de bank, playin' wifi his
toes
What's dat crocodile a-gwine t. do, does
yo' suppose?
Sho! Look at dat laig a-stickin' out from
'neaf his nose;
Crocodile, oh, Mistah Crocodile!
Baltimore News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Jobs Comforter.

cts a dogs life I'm leading" eX-
claimed the bachelor in moment of
depression.
"Well, that's better than leading a
cat and dog life" said the Benedict in
q burst of confidence.
And a passing express horse laughed.
-Somerville Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
REPRESENTATIVES of the Smith fan

Representatives of the Smith FAM
ily have applied for space for build
ING at the worlds fair at st. Louis, to
he the headquarters of the members
of that great family when visiting the
exposition. Some genius has calculated
that there are 100000 Smiths in the
world
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Vaudeville.

Looie-Henry, am choost like wash
ington Yesterday | tried, but could
not tell my brudder a lie.
IIeiney-Vy not couldn't you?
Iooie-He wouldn't pelieve mel
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Not an Adm .rer.

Not an Adm.rer.
She was a maiden fair to see,
AS on the chair she sat,
But that cut no ice with me;
She was sitting nn my hat
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-18
Major Cro.i ooj,G.PI !.
He Originates q New Enterprise
and Takes In His Cobbler

copyright, 1902, by ]. R. Jones.l
N R AJOR CROFOOT, grand pro-
"@ motor and general organ
GW4 izer and debt shirker, was
q little late in reachin0 his
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

ing Of the county roads in the county in
which said property is located. Said
tax-shall be paid in money and collected
In the same manner as other county
taxes are collected, and 30 collected shall
be used for road purposes" It also pro-
vides tina. each road district
shall be in charge OF road
master, who shall have full au-
thority to do this work, as long as 1t is
performed in suitable manner. His
compensation was not fixed in the bill,
being provided for, however, it being
stated that he shall be paid An amount
sufficient to warrant bis whole time be-
ing spent in this work. His bonds are
fixed at two thousand dollars.
At recent meeting Of the Salem city
council, a road tax Of one and one.hali
mills was levied for the building and inn
proyementlof the city streets. All resid-
ing within the city limits will therefore
be called upon to pay q road tax OF three
mills, to be devoted to the improvement
Of the city and county roads, unless the
city council revokes it's order, or the
county exempts the property Of this city
from the effect Of the tax.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

"The Oregon Farmers Congress" will
be held at Salem, January 6.h TO 9th,
1902, inclusive. "The Oregon Dairy
mems Association" and the "Oregon
Live Stock Association" will hold their
annual meeting at the same time and
place. The Oregon State Board Of Ag-
riculture will likwise hold special meet
ings for the purpose Of preparing pro.
gram for this years State Fair. The
Fruit Men and State Grange and Hop
Men will also be represented.
In view Of the recent rapid advance
ment in stock raising and dairying
throughout the state. these meetings
should be Of great benefit to all interest
ed in agriculture, and an unusually large
attendance is assured
For this occasion the Southern Pacific
will grant a round trip rate of fare and
one-third, on the certificate plan, TO
those attending,
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
PANIC In
OMAHA
HOTEL
Guests Badly Scared BY a
Serious Fire.

OnAnA, Jan. i,-Hre destroyed three
buildings at the corner OF fifteenth and
Howard streets early today. The stocks
OF the Western Electrical supply Com.
pany, the Douglas Printing Company,
aud the Frontier Steam Laundry Com
pany are total loss. The loss is prob.
ably 100000 The Karbsch Hotel Just
across the alley from the printing es-
'ahlishment Was scene OF Wild excite.
ment, Several guests jumped nom the
second story windows and others came
down tho dre escapes In their night
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
sAlARY sYsrEm YERsus FEEs.


The Mul1nOmah county papers report
that the four principal county offices Of
Multnomah county have tasnedo over $50
900 ieos lnto the county trsssury the
pasi year. That would b. an average Of
1880 each.
Ills very doubliul II those ofiiees cost
anywhere near that much to run them,
even IN the superhealed atmosphere Of
Portland oliicialism.
In any county whore the loe syslem iS
properly enforced and on a proper
schedule u will pay the expenses Of the
county ofioers aud more TOO, When the
officials sol both salary and ices .he ten.
deney vas 70 reduce the isea 10 a mini.
mum.
la the several counties Of the state
iaes are TOO low Cor many services that
ara nov rendered BY the officials purely
iog the person who sets the service, and
where 40 one olas is beae6tted.
The lees should be placed Al the point
vhere shey viii BE- laiF aud yea produce
ihs lareepi amount Of revenue 70 the
couplIy. when officers are pul GA >
salary there wlll b 40 object IN rsduc-
lns iesa
kgesy equally olaeo ean have its les
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

The POST
MASTER
A HOOSier Woman Hands Him
Hot Shot.

Under the postal laws the postmaster
at Portland refused to send paper to a
woman at Evansville, Ind, until cent
had been forwarded to Portland, lie got
this answer to his notification:
Enclosed find your card and one cent
for postage. | send it just to tell you
what think Of you First that you
could not nd il and collect one cent at
the other end; only a paper, too 1t
only shows your want of accommoda-
tion and closoness, for one cent. The
government would surely not have inn
prisoned you for sending it and collecting
at tie other end. You show your par
simony and want OF accommodation.
enclose penny as | have not a one.cent
stamp. Please forward paper and oblige
greatly -EX,
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

30 adjusted az 10 make Il more than cell
sustaining, and thus reduce the county
tax on land 10 a minimum.
The Office Of the clerk Of the supreme
court is more than self-sustaining since
put on salary. Every state Office can
be made TO be made more than self.sus-
tanning except the Office Of Governor.
The Governor now appoints notsries
and many other officials and tho fees go
TO the secretary Of state. The fees should
be paid to the Office that does the work
and the pay should 20 into the treasury
and be credited TO the Office that does
the BUSINESS, On that plan, and 1t is
the only correct one to be adopted, even
the Office Of Governor could be made
more than self sustaining.
The people Of Oregon are in great
ignorance Of what lie being done on these
matters in the state offices. The first
complete showineup Of these matters
that has ever been laid before the people
is in this paper.
II the reader feels interested in the
matter let him follow the statistics that
have been printed in this paper and will
be printed again and again. Show
them 10 your neighbor.
II will take a great effort TO properly
educate the people Of the state on this
matter. Some nccuse the officials Of
getting greater emoluments than they
are receiving. Most people do not
know the truth about the matter. Let
us not exaggerate but get at the facts
and then paw fair and liberal salary
and put all the feesi in the state treasury.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

plain and bungling that Il might have
been ascertained at any time by COM
pairing the entries with the receipts.
The 1895 rotten legislative viii ewash
wound upits report by saying they found
a statc of affairs that REFLECTED credit
upon Geo. W. Davis" And all this
kind Of funny business was carried on by
lot of grsfters to cover up fraud and
charge the people big bills while they
we're doing 1t.
It would look to plain person up a
tree, and not yersed in the intricacies
and technicalities Of the law, that the
defalcation was discovered and officially
proclaimed and made matter OF record
before the statute Of limitations had run
against the state.
Then the suit was begun before the
statute had run against the state. 1t is
up TO the people who managed the case
for the state to tell the people just how
the bondsmen and principals we're let
clip.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
Attention MOrkmen.

Members OF Protection Lodge No. ..
a. o. l. W. will please take notice-at
cur last meeting in the old hall il was
decided to postpone our fret meeting i'm
the Holman Hall until Saturday eve,
Jan. lth, at which time there will be- a
JOINT installation. Come out and see
our new and commodious quarters"
and have a good time.
IL &. +. SHERWOOD, NJ. w.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
a MAAAMAAAAAAAA
4 EDITORIAL =
~WwWYXYXWYYY~
LARGEST APPROPRIATIONS SINCE

LARGEST AUTHORIZATIONS oiNSr
1892.
The last legislature is the csuse Of the
increased levy for state revenues. The
total amount 10 be provided for the cur
rent year that must be raised by taxation
is s1,1OO,7ls.Oe OF this 100000 ia al
ready provided by an unexpended item
collected for last year
Miscellaneous receipts mako q nice
showing Of slOe,ool.O5, principally from
the insurance tax and convict labor,
which, with une1pended appropriations
Of 1901, leaves $4,000 to be raised by
direct tax.
The total appropriations Of the leGls-
lature 70 be raised the current year was
ti,77s, ,352.30, q large part Of which was
levied for and paid out Of last years
taxes.
In the last legislature the PopulIst
party disbanded, the Democrats divided
on the senatorshlp and the Republican
party had no conservative element In
control 10 either branch Of the legisla-
ture.
The appropriations for Normal schools
that had been dropped were renewed
and for this year alone run up 10 sli6,-
220.62. The first bills passed were larger
appropriations for the state university
and agricultural college and state nation
al guard, giving each company an allow.
aneo and putting all officers on increased
salaries.
In the great haste Of the legislature II
forgot 10 repeal the old annual univer-
sity appropriation OF $4,000 annually,
and adding this 10 the new grant the
university now comes In for t97, 800 an
nually.
One OF the regonts Of the university
when ueen about this double approprla.
ton admitted that Il was not intended |
10 leave the old law stand, and they
might not use II but II was clearly their
right 10 do so.
While the state administration has
been conducted with greater economy
than In the past, the last legislature
created new burdens and increasing ap.
propriations.
The state officers are required 10 make
the levies for the amounts appropriated
by the Legislature whether they deem
them just or neceaaaIy or not, but are
not 10 be blamed for the increased state
taxes.
The tax levy in Marion county for
state, state school and county purposes
for 1902 viii be is6 milla, as compared
10 2s mills Tor the same purposes last
year. But the new law REQUIRES a cash
road tan 10 bs levied. which has been
put At ~ mills.
This win make a total county tax Of 20
mills as compared with 2S mills last
year. II the state had not asksd 20 much
this year the Marion county levy would
have been reduced at least i've mills
from last year, aa result OF a more eco
nomioal couaty government.
But the state appOrtiOnment for Ma
rlon county, as result Of increased eK-
travaganoe Of the legislature, is about
$1,000 greater than for 1901. The In. /
creased state tax is 1850 900.
While the city and county aud school I
government. and even the state admin 4
lalFstion have shown sIgns Of progress, /
the legislature has become more reckless
than ever with public funds and the 1
people have 10 pay the bill. n
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
There Class Of psnple

IHtIt = NIab3 OF Fepplt
Who are Injured by the use OF coffee.
Recently there has been placed In all
the grocery stores a new preparation
called GRAlN-O. made OF pure
grains, that takes the place OF coffee
The most delicate stomach receives
IL without distress, and hut few can
tell it from coffee. IL does not cost
over as much. Children may drink
IL with great benefit 10 cts. and %
eta. per package. Try Il, Ask FOR
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
STATE
TAXES
LEVIED
Amount to be Raised
by Counties
Some Comparative Figures
with Last Year,
Marion County Levy and the
New Cash Road Tax Laws.

Gov. Geer, Secy. Dunbar and Treas
urer Moore as a state board Friday after.
noon made the state tax levy and appor.
tionment to counties by percent TO each
county.
The total amount TO be raised by
taxes for state purposes is $920,OO0 for
expenses Of government in the fscal
year ending Dec. 81, 1902
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

Geo. y Donovan, who held up r. II.
Held Chicago reporter. is dead. The
scribe Vas too quick with his suu,
Guy @. Major, manager for the Amerl.
can Linseed Go. Of New York, has To-
slgned.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
JOURNAL X RAYS.

Salem needs competition in the saw
mill business
Jefferson is liable TO have bank and
creamery soon.
II don't seem possible that the back
bone Of our winter is already broken.
Jennie June, who died in New York
recently, was a pioneer among women
journalists.
Salem Ia a good home market. Young
men intending to found home come
TO Salem from all parts Of the state TO
get brides.
Mics Stone has gained her freedom on
paper today. Tomorrow the Missionary
Woman will be In the hands OF the bri-
gands again.
All the Oregon congressman should be
retired. This State lie in danger Of &C.
quiring too much influence II they are
kept there any longer
ASa
Salem has become the greatest retail
store center of the Willamette Valley.
Now let us make Salem the best home
market in the Valley.
One Washington state appointee Of the
late Gov. Rogers has placed his resig-
nation in the hands OF the Governor.
But the Office Ia not worth anything.
For forty years so'called material SCI
ence has been saying that consumption
was contagious. Now the medical ex-
perts cay II is not contagious. After
awhile they will tell us it lie not inherited.
Headlines are sometimes unnten.
tionally humorous. Here's one from a
Frisco paper: Educational Themes
Occupy the Attention OF the Teac chers."
As tho anything else could possibly oc.
cupy them.
The suit TO collect money on the Davis
jefalcation we're ended before they were
begun. Three legislative whitewashes,
and a special investigation after the
statute OF limitations had expired, was
enough 10 have covered loss Of fiye
lines as much and the only wonder is
hat II wasn't greater.
zee
Eugene Register, Dec, 2S: Yesterday
iome little excitement was caused at
he Hotel Eugene by the clerk announc.
ng that he believed man in No. 2S
was dead as he was asleep at s o'clock.
Perfect tranquility was restored. how
'yer, when they turned to the hotel
eRIsier and found he was from Salem.
Young man, get a red checked wife,
lme rough hand, and put out an orchard
4 red winter apples and II will keep
on In your old age,-Salem journal.
But the wile's cheeks may be painted,
he rough land too stumpy, the apples
all Of worms, and one might not live
0 old age. But these objection are
lore those OF an old crank than a young
lan OF energy and blinded by love.
Aurora Borealisl Edited by a bachelor)
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04
DIED IN
A SEA OF
FLAMES

BETHANY, Conn, Jan. 4-Edmund
Peck. a retired Methodist clergyman
aged so, aud his daughter Mary, aged
80, were burned to death early TODAY in
lire which destroyed their handsome
homestead at Bethany Turnpike.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

a dispatch from Valparaiso, Chile,
says President Riesco cabled a New
Years greeting to President Roca Of
Argentine.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

Big discoveries Of iron ore are report.
ed in Cumberland, England. This will
ofiset the success Of American steel.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

The United States Rubber Co an
nounce an advance of per cent over
last years price list.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1902-01-04

The Butte police force is in hot water
over the gambling proposition.