The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-20
SPOKEN IN JEST.


SPOKEN IN JEST.
New York Times: General Horatio c.
King told this story at the dinner given
20, General Porter, the ambassador to
France. at the National Arts club a few
nights ago:
vt was during long march OF our
regiment IN the civil war ana the troops
At daybreak one morning Sambe, the
Officers cOiOred servant. was startled Dy
the sound OF a cock Growing. Sambo
turned TO me and said:
noise?'
Yes replied. it was only a cock
Growing
4 know it. Mdssa General: it was only
a pullet CROWN but, Massa General, how
/ careless. how careless
San Francisco News Letter. Bricadier
General Andrew Burke. Z S. A retired,
is known in San Francisco and through
out the United States as the athletic gen.
eral. His hobby Is baseball ana he al
ways had the best nine in mis- regiment.
only once were they ever beaten. and that
was by the Seventh infantry, while they
We're encamped at Chickamauga before
the Spanish war. General Burke always
saw every baseball game, and at Manila
he was ordered to receive the surrender
OF General Mescardo and his troops. His
reply was. I cannot | must see the
game. He was disSuaded from his de-
sire, however, and he consented to foregO
seeing a baseball game for the first time
in his life.
New York Tribune: The Missouri
papers are telling this story of Mark
IVAN recent visit 10 the state: A big
crowd gathered at a railway station TO
meet him A little boy knew that some
body Was coming, but he did not know
Mark Twain from Bessie Francis This
kid perched himself on top. of a freight
car, where he could see what happened.
The train rolled in. and as Mark stepped
shouted: Here he is Here he isl The
kid on the box car thought a great GRIM
inal had been caught and shouted Cit
ropei Git a rope,'' Dr. Clemens laughed
till the tears ran out of his eyes
g % g
Baldmere Sun: one of the important
perSonages at the Woods Hole Marine
laboratory is a janitor who is noted for
the brilliant coloring of his hair and for
his ready wit.
Your hair certainly is bright, Mike"
one of the students said to the janitor one
day. What on earth makes it so red %
Sure, an l don't know" was Nike s
answer, quick as flash, unless it's
heredity-'
Recently a Duluth minion of the law
had occasion 10 visit a family living in
the west end, says the Duluth News
Tribune. he wanted to see the man of
the house, but as he was not in he sat
down and waited in the kitchen. A young
girl, apparently about y years old was
The officer watched the proceeding for
some time, when he remarked: Don't
you so to school,
No: I stopped school some time ago
4 should think that a girl Of your age
would want to get as much educa ton as
possible before taking the responsibility
attending household duties"
Yes, maybe
But why don't you go to school, then -
We'll, she stammered- because nv
husband thinks l had better stay at
Then the officer looked out Of the win
dow and the conversation came TO an
end.
OF a certain bishop famous as about
the plainest man in England. the Liver
pool Post tells this pleasing tale: One
bus, he was amazed By the persistent
staring of a fellow passenger, who pres
emily unburdened himself as follows:
Your a paFsOn, am your
well, yes; that is So
Look ere, parson. would you mind
comm ONE with me to see my wife2''
Imagining the wife was sick and need
ing assistance, the clergyman. at great
inconvenience TO. himself, went with the
man On arriving AZ the house the man
shouted TO his wife to come downstairs.
and. pointing 10 the astenished parsou-
I said, with grin Of delight
Look e ere, Sairry- Yer said this
morninr as l wur the hugiiest chap In
E.ngIand. New, just yer lock at this
bloke-'
9 g o
Chicago Tribune: who is that scien-
tific gent in room 15?'' asked the scrub
lady
I dunno. answered the broomgentle-
maE. But he's funny one 10 swear.
You ought to hear him. When he saw z
lot OF mould on top OF his ink he said
-B'cillus,' Just that way"
g g 6
Boston Transcript: oirimes-Yes I'm
foad of music. There's Zimmerman. for in
stance
Brady-You don't cali his horn blowing
music?
Grimes-It has been very enjoyable TO
me I got Zimmerman to keep at il night
and day. and the result was that ] bought
the house next door fer thousand dol
I lars less than the man who lived in it
asked week OF two before
g q {.
New York Times: Robert Luce of Som
erviiie, the author and champion in the
Massachusetts legislature of the Luce bill
! for primary elections. which has been one
| Of the features OF this seasons sessions.
was recently IN New York 10 lock after
his business interests here. While in the
metropolis he delighted a party Of friends
/ with story about a certain nameless
club in Boston. which has strict regula-
/ tons against gambling