Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1902-03-26
THE PRACTICAL
Versus TIE IDEAL

| There are people In the world VINO
never act unwlsel7 and yet never get
on. On the contrary, there are people
who always act unwisely and yet al
ways get on. The explanation may be
In the fact that the former have no
| originality TO lift them above the level
Of competition and the latter have
genius.
Ny wife soon after we were married
developed passion for what | called
/ old trumpery. She attended auctions,
and any hideous rug. rickety clock or
crazy chair put up for sale was sure to
be bid in by her to lumber up the
house. As to bric-a-brac, / couldn't
turn round without smashing some un-
calmly pitcher, big at the girth and lit
tie at the bottom. especially made to
/ be knocked over. There were old
swords, old blunderbusses, pieces of
armor, rugs so homely that it would
make one sick to walk over them. en-
cravings yellow with age. pieces OF
tapestry with pictures on them Of stiff
looking people looking sour as vinegar.
In short, everything In the house was
either old or ugly or both.
A practical man, with no nonsense
about me, managed to keep the wolf
from the door as a bookkeeper. l had
inherited 5000 from my father, which
/ placed In a savings bank TO draw 3
per cent interest. II did not remain
there long. My wife's insane passion
for auction purchases ate into 1t gradu-
ally, but surely. till my nest egg had
been turned into a lot OF miscellaneous
truck which any sane man would con-
slider fit only for junkshop.
Mrs. Moneypenny had friends who
were as crazy on this subject as her
self. They would come into the house
and go from room TO room admiring
this bit of coffee colored lace, fit only
for a rag bag; that miniature of some
fat woman, with coronet on her head,
h a Clipped oval frame: clock with
a pair of rusty weights weighing per-
haps twenty pounds each and the sound
Of donkey engine in winding. Then
they would go away. thanking her fol-
showing them her collection"
my dear" said one day to her de-
spalrlngly. my 5000 is reduced to
FIVE hundred"
'Five hundred! Then made a mis-
take in my figures. thought there was
only three hundred. After all, 1 can
get It."
"Get whatT- cried, aghast
1.-The Rembrandt, have absolute
proof that IL is genuine, and 1t is going
for song"
"Oh, heavens" I muttered. sinking
on to a sofa-"to be tied TO a lunatic!
poor Children
She sat down beside me and put her
arms about me, but said nothing. What
could she say? She was under the con-
troll of her passion, with no power to
resist II. She must be not only dragged
down to poverty herself. but drag hus
band and children with her. Within
forty-eight hours she had the last cent
in the savings bank and got her pic
ture. dlngy painting of man dress
ed Ike a supernumerary in a theater,
the only feature plainly visible being
the tip of a red nose.
The day after the thing was brought
home one of her friends, a lady. met
me on the street and congratulated me
on the valuable addition to my ''collec-
ton"
stared at her grimly and passed on,
while she looked at me, wondering II
had lost my senses.
Going home, | abused my wife for an
hour. She was patient about IL and
made no reply, but at last. when / beg
ged her TO get rid of the stuff and re
form, she agreed to do SO.
very WELL" l replied. II will send
for Moses. who will make you a BID
for the lot. We may get few hun.
bred dollars out of it,
Leave that to me, dear" she replied
You haven't time. Go to business. and
will do all that Is necessary"
The next day the morning paper con-
tanned a notice that Mrs. Moneypenny
was to sell at auction her treasures.
which she had been years accumulat-
ing. as she was about 10 90 abroad to
make another collection"
At sight of this announcement l
nearly tainted, but revived on remem-
bering that the rubbage was to be sold.
For days before the sale was beset
by people with printed lists in their
hands asking me what such number
could be had for at private sale.
turned away from all. saying that /
didn't know and | didn't care-proba-
bly, dollar would secure anything In
the lot, and II would be large price.
Well. the sale came off. | was busy
at the office making trial balance
and got home after 1t was all over
Everybody had gone. and l found my
wife looking depressed. When l saw
the house devoid of the trumpery with
which it had been incumbered. | re-
joiced.
THANK heaven" | exclaimed, "it's
gone! What did you save out of the
wreckT
"Unluckily, two of the persons / ex-