davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

The famous Chicago river is being
sold by the bucketful to soapmakers
That classic stream, the passing OF
whose water by the city of st. Louis
moved the state OF Missouri to so to
law with the state OF Illinois for not
keeping Its nuisance at home, affords
lucrative employment to number
of men. In the south branch above
the drainage canal they are kept busy
the day long seooping the top layer OF
the stream off with buckets and put
ting It In barrels, In which form 1t Ii
sold to packers at the stockyards to be
transformed into soap. This takes
place In "Bubbly creek" which is the
name applied to that part OF the river
into which the waste from the stock
yards empties through sewers.-New
York Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
The Wise Peasant.

One night ms the Peasant was sound
ly sleeping he was aroused by knock
on the door, and when he asked who
called voice replied:
20 Peasant. beg the loan of thy lam
tern for few minutes"
"Hast lost something in the dark
nessY' was asked.
NAY, not that. | am thief and
have come for thy Goat, but | require
a lantern TO light up the stable
you shall have 1t with cheer. and
you mny leave It outside the door ms
you go away"
The PEASANTS wife began upbraiding
him that he should assist to steal his
own property, but he turned to her and
commanded:
silence, woman! Firstly, l am no
match for thief who has doubtless
come armed to attack or defend; sec
ondly, the Ass and the Goat are stabbed
side by side, and did l not lend my
lantern the thief might get the ASS by
mistake. l am not the fiiest man In
the county, but / do know the differ
cncc between three dollar Goat and
thirty dollar Asst!
Moral.-The man who stops to figure
a little generally comes out ahead OF
tho game.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
OLD FASHIONED.

What has become of the old fash
Toned man who dressed up to serve on
the jury?
What has become of the old fash
Toned woman who thought going to II
circus was sinful?
Speaking of old fashioned things,
what has become Of the child who
minded It's mother?
What has become OF the little old
schoolgirl whose braids were so short
aud stumpy they were called pigtails2
What has become Of the old fash.
ioncd woman who used to say to her
children, you'll drive me distractedf"
What hns become of the old fash
Toned man who, according to the neigh.
bors could lie as fast rs horse could
trotI
What has become of the old fash
loned man who came to town wearing
soldier overcoat, with buffalo lap
robe In his wagon?
What has become OF the old fash
toned woman who used to say that Il
little bird came and told her when
asked where she heard a piece Of Cos
sip?-Atchinon Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

l lay peering over the cliff at the
twltching rope that gave Indications of
barrels moN ements Then there ech-
oed from the opposite side of the IA.
vine a strange sound as of the rafting
of many castanets, followed by a
shrek OF such grisly terror as | never
again want to hear. The next instant
Darrell plunged forth from the mouth
of the cave, swung out from the face
of the cliff, swung back again against
the rock and, stu shrieking horribly,
SO that the rayine reverberated with
the sound of 1t, slipped through the
blight of the rope and fell headlong to
the rocks below. For a moment | lay
there stricken, waiting for | knew not
what thing of horror to issue from the
mysterious cavern. Then l rushed
down to the aid of my motionless com
panion. Half the contents of my flask
had been forced down his throat be-
fore he opened his eyes, But not to
consciousness did he open them. The
glare In them told me that l tried to
recall his mind.
What was 1t, old MANI What was
it," asked him
He half raised himself and tried TO
speak, gasping and choking like man
being strangled.
'The hands, The hands of the dead!
At my throat! They're throttling me!
Help
He tore at his throat with mad
strength. Then his limbs relaxed, and
he fell back IN my arms lifeless.
believe in my inmost soul that 1t was
not the fall from the elf, but sheer
terror, that killed him.
How I ever lived through that fear
full, horror haunted ride to the camp
l don't know. l was crazy with fever
and delirium when ! reached there
1t wasn't till weeks afterward that
they told me of the expedition that
went out TO find and bury Darrell. My
rawlings and the map that they found
when they undressed me gave them a
working clew to the tragedy. They
found the rope tied to the tree, and two
of the men went down and entered the
cave armed With stout clubs, for their
theory was that poor Darrell had been
killed by a yenomous snake. That
would not have explained his last
words. but what they found did, A
few yards In from the entrance lay
sprawled a heap of artlculated skele.
tons Darrers hat was beneath the
heap. Cropping his way In, he had dis
placed slender post which held In
place on Il shelf above him the grim,
dead guardians of the dead. They had
fallen upon the invader aud claimed
him for their own.
The men searched the cave. Row
after row OF long dead mummles they
found. but little treasure. The brace
let that had cost Darrell his life and
one or two small gold carvings that
was all but what of the map and the
maker of 1t? Did he perhaps visit the
cave and perish there of terror? Were
his bones those tnat Darrell saw from
the entrance of the cave? That Is Il
mystery that | shall never solve-that
and that other mystery OF who set,
against the profaning incurslon of the
living, that grisly trap of the dead.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
KILLED THE SPIDER.
Deadly influence of n Small Magnet
ON the Insect.

oh tht
An experiment made by scientist
to test the influence which magnet
will have on spider Is of interest.
The magnet employed was II small
steel one of the u shape, the legs of
which We're about two and half
inches long by one-haf inch wide and
one-slxth OF nm inch thick the distance
between the poles being about one
quarter of an inch.
Having noticed small spider active
ly running along his armchair, he
brushed II off upon the carpet, where
1t began TO rum, but was somewhat I'M
peded by the roushness of the fabric
lie now slid the magnet along the car
pet, following after the spider, TIL the
ends OF the poles were within n quar-
ter of an inch of 1t. The animal, with
out being touched, almost instantly
stopped, and on Withdrawing the mag
net the spider continued on his jour
ney.
The eAperimcntcr then placed the
magnet within half mn inch In front Of
the spider, and, withdrawing IL slow.
ly, the hitter followed II in every direc-
ton which the magnet took, both In
straight and crcuitous routes
Gradually, however, the spider be-
came SO strongly magnctl2cd as to be
immovablc for several minutes, the
magnetic influence seeming to lose Its
further power. ON withdrawing the
magnet altogether the spider began to
recover somewhat.
The scientist ultimately placed n
tumblcr over the spider and the mag
net, covering them both completely,
and Mt the expiration of several min
utcs the spider, after struggle to es.
cape from the strong influence which
the magnet exercised over It, was
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
DUMAS AS A COOK.
He Was Particularly Good In tho
Preparation of Turkeys.

Dumas pere was In producing the
slave of his pen and never studied in
his life. No author ever owed less to
education or book learning and more
to perpetually fresh and unsophisti-
Gated mind and to sociable intercourse
with the bright spirits of his day, the
upper Bohemia the best artists, dra-
matte authors and lions of various
kinds of his time His one accom-
plishment was his neat, flowing, clerkly
handwriting. but he knew nothing of
science, of any kind of serious litera-
ture, and rs he had never thought of
punctuation before he burst on the
world as an author left II always to
the proofreader, Like Rossini, If
Dumas had not been the author of
Monte Christie and ether novels that
brought him each fortune (Which he
spent as soon us he made), he might
have been Il great cook.
partook of lunch he cooked two
years before his death at the house of
Gudin, the painter. He came to cook
1t In this way: Gudin, meeting him
On n Friday ON the boulevard, said:
"A friend has just sent me three splcn-
did turkeys from DevonshIre. What
shall | do with them?" You should
let me cook them" said Dumas. "An
right" But | must so tomorrow to
prepare them for the spit" Dumas
arrived next morning with hamper
fl! of truiiles for the turkeys and, not
10 allow any TO 20 to waste, brought
calves sweethreads and other deliea-
Giles which are the better for truflie &C
compartments, He prepared his "plats"
carefully and suggested that IL Gudin
wished to invite friends TO n partIeu-
larry we'll cooked lunch then was his
time. Perhaps he added. you had
better call on Albonl and ask her to
come. She VIII crown the feast by
singing brindisi" So said, SO done.
Dumas acted rs chef in the kitchen
until II was almost time to serve the
lunch.
A most brilliant company had been
Invited to judge of "le grand Alex
andrea culinary talents. They de
clared he deserved the name of alex
andre le Grand" and expressed their
sorrow that his literary genius had de-
prived the world of the greatest chef
Of the nineteenth century Dumas
used also 10 cook the grand dinners
which Nine. Rattazzi gave ut Florence
when her husband was prime minister
of Italy.-London News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
CATCHING A THIEF.
An Old Method Utilized by IA German
officer In China.

Thirty dollars was stolen at the Of
ilcers' club in Tlentsln, China, and the
members of the club resolved. If possi-
bic, to catch the thief.
A German captain volunteered to
manage the affair, and the first thing
he did was to summon all the native
servants of the club. He then said to
them:
"Some money has been stolen here,
and am looking for the thief. l shall
find him In an hour, not before, since
l need that much time In order TO get
instructions from n celebrated magi-
clan In Germany"
An hour later all the servants y ere
again summoned, but this time Into Il
dark room. In the middle of which
stood the tublc on which the money
stolen had been laid.
Each of you, now" said the officer,
must go up to that table and press on
1t first your right and then your left
hand, and when that Is done you must
raise your two hands over your head
and step into the next room"
The servants did so, and as the last
one stepped into the adjoining room
the officer followed him, and after
looking for few moments ut the many
uplifted hands he pointed to one man
and said, you are the thief" The
Chinaman TO whom he pointed nearly
fell to the ground with fright and ad-
mitted his guilt and promised to make
restitution.
Very simple was the method adopted
by the officer for discovering the cul-
prlt. While the native servants sup
posed that his spirit was In Germany
In communion with the celebrated ma
giclan he WIS carefully smearlng the
surface of the table in the dark room
with fat and oil, which he then black.
ened by means of SCOT, The innocent
servants naturally pressed their hands
on the table, according to his lnstruc.
lions, but the culprlt. though super.
stitlous did not do SO.
As n result, while the upliftcd hands
of all the others were coal black, his
were of n natural color, and thus his
guilt was clearly proved.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

find her brother and Miss Cunningham
well on with their breakfast.
II declare, Margaret" observed Miss
Cunningham us her friend attacked
her morning repast with keen enjoy
ment, this place is doing you no end
of good Your color is excellent, and
your appetite leaves nothing to be de-
sired"
81 hope II leaves Il few things that
are desired, else you would pay dearly
for my improvement, If 1t could be
called that, But this morning walk
does improve the appetite" she added
innocently.
''If 1t weren't for that horrid man
and his faces In the sand" observed
her companion.
atom said he denied it In n way that
left no room to doubt his innocence.
Besides. / have discovered that it was
always done early, when no one was
about and when the tide was coming
In. so that Ii would be washed out be-
fore any one saw-it.'
what on earth did he do 1t for
them cried Miss Cunningham. Only
man In love would do such thing
as THAR
Perhaps as Ave finger exercises,
just TO keep his sculptor hand In train
ing" she replied laughingly.
But Miss Cunningham looked so sur
priscd at her mitigatcd tone and her
face felt 50 red that she escaped TO
the open air MS soon us possible. She
had not gone far before she saw Mr..
Hammond sitting ON bench, gazing
penslvely ut the sea. His tan shoes
were wet and sandy. In his fingers
he clasped pink carnation as II 1t
were n precious relic.
She paused near him. His preoccu-
patton was so great that for n moment
he did not perceive her. Then he
bounded to his feet, his face discount
Ing the flower for color, and STAN
mered. ooh, Miss Hartwell! l was
thinking of you. l wanted to see you.
/ hope you are not too angry. You
will let me explain"
ut must not happen again, not even
when the tide is coming In. and no mat
ter how early" she smiled family.
"And may keep this little flowers"
She nodded
"Will you sit down just for n minute
and let me cxplain?" he asked, his In
genuous eyes fastened on hers implor-
ingly.
She seated herself by his side. Judg
Ing from very pretty wedding in st.
Georges three months later, Mr.. Ham
mond must have explained" beautl-
| fully.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
The Word FIattery.

At first sight there would appear to
be little connection between hattery
and the wagging of dogs tail, yet
same word signifies both, and fattery
Is certainly derived from the word sig.
nlfylng TO wag the tail. In the old
Norman llagra signifies TO flatter and
also TO wag the tail. In Danish logro
Is to wag the tail, and logger for cen Ia
to fawn on one. In Dutch yleyden ID
TO natter and vleydstecrten is TO wag
the tail In the old German wedeln
is to wag the tail, and in English
whcedlc Is TO gain ones end in fiat
terry.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
LuInn Auune

AS a change from the tomato sauce
usually served with Dreaded lamb
chops try an onion sauce made In this
way: Slice two or. II very small, three
onions ard cook them In water for n
few moments and drain. Put them in
TO Just enough boiling water to cover,
add little salt and cook until tender.
Cook together two tablespoonfuls each
of flour and butter and when perfectly
smooth add one-half pint of stock,
three or four tablespoonfuls of cream
and Il tablespoonful each OF salt and
sugar and dash Of cayenne. When
the onion Is tender. press 1t through u
colander and add the water In which
1t had been cooked.-New York Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

Professor Gin medical college. ex-
hibiting patient to his class Gen
tlemen, allow me to call your atten-
ton to this unfortunate man. 1t Is
impossible for you to guess what 10
the matter with him. Examine the
shape Of his head and the expression
of his eyes, and you are none the
wiser for 1t, but that is not strange.
1t takes years Of experience and con-
slant study 10 tell at glance, as can,
that he is deaf and dumb
Patient Cooking up with a grim
Professor, | am very sorry, but my
brother, who Is deaf and dumb, could
not come today. 30 came In his
place.-Pearson's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
Nothing wasted.

A Scottish farmer when going to
market, II was observed, always took
n hen with him in his trap. The reason
was never known until one day he took
n friend with him on a drive. Every
place the farmer stopped he put the
nosebag on his horse and then the hen
was SO trained that what dropped from
the horses bag the hen would pick up,
so there was nothing wasted. Pear
sons Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

Doctor-I'm very glad to tell you.
Mrs Hodges. that your husband will
recover after all
Mrs. Hodges Lord, sir, don't say
that!
Doctor-Why not, you unnatural wo-
man?
Mrs. Hodges you see, sir, aft
er. I'd sent for you, sir, took an sold
all his clo'es.- Sketch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

The leading lady was in tears, and
the morning paper lay crumplcd Mt her
feet.
"What is the matterT the manager
asked
''This horrid critic" she sobbed.
Let me see. Where? What has he
saidY
There" she replied, pointing to the
dreadful paragraph. at says my act
ing was excellent, but that my gown
didn't seem to fit me Mt all. | just
know that was written by some spite
full woman. Chicago Rccord-Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
The same Ola story.

j. A Kelly relates an experience
similar to that which has happened in
almost every neighborhood in the
United States and has been told and
re-told by thousands of others. He
says "Last summer ] had an attack
Of dysentery and purchased bottle
of Chamberlain Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy, which used nc
cording to directions and with entire
ly satisfactory results. The trouble
was controlled much quicker than for
mer attacks when / used other rene
dies" Mr.. Kelly is well known cit
izen OF Henderson, N. G. For sale by
s. w. Cochran & Co.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
The SrnnII Hrnfher

81 heard him call you Duckle,'" an
nounced the small brother
"Well, what OF itr demanded his Sis
ter defiantly.
ooh, nothin' much" answered the
small brother. 81 was only 'thinkin
maybe It's because OF the way you
walk, but II amt very nice Of him.
Chicago Post,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

Don't trust too far to yoh good In
tentlons," said Uncle Eben, unless
yoh has skill back of 'em. Good In
tentions satisfies de man what has
'em. but dey Is dc ruination of a heap
Of choir music Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
DR. Dayld Kenncdys
kdyOFite Remedy
CURES ALL KIDNEY STOMACH
~AND klvEW TROUBLES.

Everybody pnffs 'Lambertyile
Puffs"-even the newspapers. They
are the best Scent cigar. Kline makes
them aud sell them, Wholesale and re-
tail, at 20 Bridge street, corner OF
Commerce.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

els there any kind of coat that never
has any buttons on iti' asked mis-
zion teacher Of a class Of newsboys.
Eyes, sir coat Of paint" was the
instantaneous reply
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
AptIy Termed.

A farmer In Hood district, watching
his mortgaged house and barn fall over
and float down the river. remarked,
''That represents my floating indebted.
ness"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20
A caae In pafnf

"Jobbers was thrown from his wheel
this morning, but he pluckily arose and
remounted."
Indeed? Well, that's case of
mans not knowing when he's well
f."-Rlehmond Dispatch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-08-20

Patriotism Is not thc mere holding
Of ire'i e;,s eaftitG. lat making II
the eeat.i.est IN The world ". J. Lin
Ton
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1902-03-01
BOY ABDUCTED
PRETTY TEACHER.
RePUlSED HIM. so HE STOLE
HER.
NouoGssrr let Her

NiNGHNMT,N y l. March
Amos Han fourteen y,,,--,'l >.tula-
u Round HI. rt 'clI lpyc with his
'"irh"r. Nil. Mile Tyler smith. "
'ha~'r Mich and bccaus" N" would
no, mar, Nlm prr,n'r.-i paai ~ 'el.
Nv scholars AMI Abducted her
MI Smith j. pretty nineteen years
" AZ" md has been ,"t hing IN. Is.
trio hc"i his winter
Young Hail l. the .an ~ n farmer
lie has p"cn an arden; r.i,i.,- ~ s-ifSa
uonal literature and from this evolved
MS plan IL" is'J siege q, Miss Smith =
hear-. and At arst sh- humored him a!s
school BOY. but andlng his attentions
CROWN; too earnest laughed at
him and then told him they mus; -
dIscon tiuued
iisl lifted ~ an I'D -abln used ,nr
boiling maple SUGAR ~ the denths 81,
he sugar woods tna pl1tts. Nith three.
other c0nspAnlon- TO carry III Ms
Smith. They iccpycd her with a mes
age - y lnnely spot then carried ncr
10 uhs cIhtn No vIrlcprs vaS offered
but Hall made another ardent Pile, rDr
her affections
She s;ornly d~mirdcd him to cs,,nrt
her nu-u" ~ once. and Uy sheer NIll
power NpN'd 1.r abiu -ior- wnu re-
turned her -ifelv to- l"- HpariiT-g place.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1902-03-01
Mr.. PIC SAYS THAT
SPRING HATH COME.
UNAD0RNE0 TENDERNESS AT
81 TO $3.50.
Markets Reflect the Decline 80
Winter mud th,nn-" OF
Poetic season.

The markets 'r' Hcr'a-ur ~ tax on
spring Ike hook on many stands AZ
washington Market hat ,rsu!rlo mar.
hinrcr pi spring. he sugk.us pig. wa
i.ap,a,nl to-day n Hls ualdpru-i 'an
d-rucss He r"ll fo- a 90 s. ~. thri
prlr" isg'udiug nE the slz,
The ot1"r pr"v,.uE prices az Co., d."
star. .u Washington Mnrkc, Ncr,
EGGS NNp ~ T-TEr -us,' 'r,.h ssSs g. &c.
- s.r ior sr,sias .sE' % % =. -
So-ra ,-st 'r.,h better - g. 10 aaa -
- Pou1i cheaper SHADES. - ., ~ -.
pound
GAME hNu POULTRY -,lu,s, backs s. 81 20
s.' --ia-,as su.s' . ~ as- sa'r pIiiA-ii
81 - asr .aI- -at- siuias e. PEI isisn .sl
ai-lssa sr5G-r.. 81 ger pair gi7oas = g--
yoaai 'o-s. ~ .-r sound 7-.us rsas a
-a"Asa' IT, 80 ao.ai '.rs"y.. lsc g. % %
grgn1
uEtrs -Por--ao4,. u,an .ni ra,,r 3
y.r'' gsr g7gni E'ri1.n =, gs- .slai -.r, 70
bs-f j a-r., .r - cats ..-r P1aaE slgit -
'r-, f-t .,g, AM % --ar .-- pr4al ..o.
.r-T ~ ,.H .sr Fraai s,tts mute J,
..H.s 90 o. .-n.. 80 .H.ui Fs.H.H .ra1ls -
cents yer .ru7f. veal .It.sfh - ,fH.. -F !. lag
NEsfr Niu.ES ASH FHtirs ~'-aE TIA.
o. a.- 20" h--nui. poth'-s - 30
has 49, '-Ti1g #aionr e. - Ha1rh us.rT.
---.' s. tst l-f hI1rt rau1.fh 20 ~
p-r bunch sgI4i s g hslf go rauH 80 s-t
~ 'pr tsst FLORIDA tomatoes - ~ 4aar
N1'hee'' Srips' 81 81 80 p'uni pineapple N
qaar ntls .ppi--. H 20 o. iossa. srss
In hsn ,ai sr-'-r' is.r, .r- A. decided -h'r e.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1902-03-01
A CAUSE OF HEADACHE
One Very Common Cause. Gener.
ally Overlooked.

Headache Is a symptom. an Indication u
irrAHg,meu' Or dlscas. "a ZONE organ and
the aus" Z he hrlta ~ IS drlcui, . 10
cate b-rauH. 50 many disease have head
ache As a prominent symptom icFauEs.
meat Of he stomach aai l,~r heart troG.
tlr, kidney disease lung trouble 'Ar ,'rA'A
or ili n'uns sllss-s 81. Vf1il l'aiard's.
AID II 80 could aINays lp,Ate the T.aii
NEiHh . - fault ne cure ui uostirai,
hcaia hes would Re a mu simpler mat
ter
H0scy-r Tor that form u headache
called frontal headache pain back % he
eyes and IN forehead the cause is luN
kuosn 60 b" atarrh 81 n. head and
throat. when the headache is located 10
back Of head and neck ~ is often caused
from aa'arTh q N. stomach u- liver
At .Ly rate ea'aTrh 's the most .umm q
cause - such headache. aud 'h' cue -
be rA'lrrh causes prompt fEApp' lral 81.
q the heaiarhs-
There = 40 present 10 treatment Tor co.
iagga 20 cJuNtuicu; and effective as stuart
Catarrh Tablets new Internal remedy ia
'ahlst form imposed = au'..t u'|.s Ike
sga AIypt0I gua.B"ul ant blood -' WI q
act upHn ne blood ami cause 'h, sI|m.Ha.
I1u q 'As catarrhal T. .-1a ;r.I 'he sys.
ZEN through the natu-rl channels