The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-08-03
HH WOMAN ought to IAx be careful who N she arries. s." N@ @ said M Doolev.


 SS said M. Dooley.
 "So ought a man." said MT. Hennessy with feeling.
 Tt don't make so much diff'r- ence about him." said M. Dooley. ''Whin a mans marrid, he's a marrid man. That's all ye can say about him. Iv coorse he thinks marredge is goin' to change tn whole current iy his bein', as Hoagn says. But 1t doesn't. Afther he's been hooked up f'r a few months, he finds he was marrid befure, even if he wasn't, which Is often tn case dye mind. Tn first bride iv his bosom was tn Days Wurruk an it cant be put of. They'se no groun's f'r dissolvin' that mar redge, Hennessy. Ye can't say to tn Days Wurruk: Here, take this bunch iv alimony an go on tn stage It turns up at break fast about tn fourth month af- ther tn weddin' an creates a scandal. Tn unforchnit man thries to shoo it off but it fixes him with it's eye an hauls him away firm tn bacon an eggs, while tn lady opposite weeps an wondhers what he can see in anything so old an homely. It says, Come with me, aroon,' an spinds most iv his time an often a good deal iv his money with the enchantress. I tell ye what, Hen- messy, tn Days Wurruk has broke up more happy homes thin comic opry. If tn coorts wud al- low it, many woman cud get a divorce on tn groun' that her husband cared more fir his Days Wurruk thin he did f'r her. Him. missy varsus Hinnissy; corry- spondint, tn Days Wurruk' They'd be ividence that tn de- findant was seen ridin' in a cab with tn corryspondint, that he took 1t to a picnic, that he wint to tn theaytre with it, that he talked about 1t in his sleep, an that, lost to all sinse iv shame, he even escorted it home with him an inthrajooced it to his varchous wife an innocint child her. So it don't make much diff frence who a man marries. If he has job, he's safe.
 But with woman 'tis diff'rent. Tn man puts down on'y part iv tn bet Whin he's had enough iv tn conversation that in Union Park undher tn threes med him think he was talkin' with an in- tellechool joyntess, all he has to do is to put on his coat, grab up his dinner pail an go down to tn shops, to be happy though marrid. But a woman, I tell ye, bets all she has. A man don't have to marry but woman does. or maids an clargymen do tn most good in tn wurruld an we love thim f'r tn good they do. But people, es- pecially women, don't want to be loved that way They want to be loved because people can't help lovin' thim no matther how bad they are. Tn story books that ye give we're daughter Honoria all tell her 'tis just as good not to be marrid. She reads about how kind Dorothy was to Lula's child her an she knows Dorothy was tn betther woman but she wants to be Lulu. Her heart an a cold look in tn eye iv tn wurruld an Early in life she looks f'r tn man iv her choice in tn tennis re- cords; later she reads tn news firm tn militia encampmint; thin she studies tn socyal raygister further on she makes hersilf fa- milyar with Bradsthreets rayports an finlly she watches tn place where life presarvers are hanign'. Now, what kind iv a man ought a woman to marry? She oughtn't to marry a young man because she'll grow older quicker thin he will; she ought'nt to mar ry an old man because he'll be much older befure he's younger: she oughtn't to marry a poor man because he my become rich an, lose her; she oughtn't to marry a rich man because if he becomes poor, she cant lose him; she oughtn't to marry a man that knows more thin she does, be- cause he'll niver fail to show it. an she oughtn't to marry a man that knows less because he may niver catch up. But above all things she musn't marry a janius. A fiure walker, perhaps; a janius niver.
 "I tell ye this because I've been r-readin' a book Hogan give me about tn divvle's own time a janius had with his family. A cap iv industhry may have throu- ble in his family till there isn't a whole piece iv chiny in tn cupboard. an no one1l