The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-03-07
- Facts and Fancies. X

5 - Facts and Fancies. y
Hc-"Do you like solitaire?" She
''Is this a proposition referring to cards
cher-"What is the meaning Of to
off, ma am "-Yonkers Statesman.
The American who can't see American
faults is donkey, and the American
who can is no American, and there you
are.--Iife.
Could Measure It.-"How long was
Bronson's speech?' Il don't know. l
didn't have nv gas meter with me. -
Harlem Life.
"And this invention that will, as you
say. throw Marconi in the shade what
is it," y wireless piano, for use in
Mrs Crimsonbeak- did YOU say he is
a man of stable habits?'' Mr.. Crimson.
bcak-"Yes: he kicks like mulc."-
Honkcrs Statesman.
"Do you ever h g, any q"arrels in
ooh. no; we call them debates. -
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Emmy-"Why does the clock start
again when it gets to twelve?" Bobby
because thirteen's an unlucky num-
Der, of course!'-Punch.
Prisoncr-"I've embeZzled one hun
bred thousand dollars. Can you get me
out of the scrape?''
Lawyer-"Yes, if you haven't spent
the money. Judge.
.Crawford-'I didn't know he was sick
when he went to Florida
Observation-Disclosures was he. He got
sick down there trying to make his
orange grove pay.'-Judge.
II never was so happy" said the new
a different man of me-
I'm glad to hear it, said his rival.
''for your wife's sake. '-Philadelphia
Press.
Alce-'I believe Maud's fiance says
that what he most admires in her is her
marked independence Of judgment: -
her set who would accept him. "-Har-
lem Life.
Did His Best.-Teacher (angrily)-
"You bad boy! Why did you chalk your
name on this new DESK"
Tommy-"Hal ter, cause I amt got
no penknife to carve it Oh with."-Phila
delphia Press.
"Ah" exclaimed the cannibal, smack
ing his lips, what kind of a minister
was that we had for dinner?'
"Your excellency,' replied his cook. Il
should say it was a prime minister
Household Words.
Aunt Hannah-"When was here two
years ago Hulda was looking for hus-
band; she is married now"
Uncle George-'Yes; but she is still
looking for him-that is to say, a good
deal Of the time" Boston Transcript.
"Does your husband worry about the
grocery bills?" asked the nagged-looking
"Law, no." said the lady with the new
silk skirt and the patent leather shoes
1--WE let the grocer do all that."-Ex-
change.
Percy Vere-"I still think there is hope
for me; although she said mo- she was
very sympathetic"
Jack Newitt-"My dear boy, that's tho
end of you. No woman ever marries the
man whom she rejects sympathetically."
Philadelphia Press.
They were both her friends. of course.
DO you think asked he, that she is
as old as she looks?'
''She tries not to look it, replied she.
$50 she must be-"
Feminine perspicacity transcends mas.
culine easoning.-Indianapol News.
ro cSst0T Mow mesh J. like this piece of
Tailor-"Pair of pants? Five
Customer never use pants l
want pair of trousers
Tailor-"To be sure. We will make
you pair of trousers for $1O."-Phila-
delphia Press.
The Dyspeptic Guest gazed longingly
at the crisp. brown turkey. the mashed
potatoes, celery, cranberries, ETC., and
sighed, with mournful information:
'Ill have to pay for this tomorrow, I
know"
The Host took on thoughtful expires.
sion and remarked:
Il wish I'd known that They made
me pay for it yesterday baltimore
American.
Teacher-"If you face the north, direct
~ behind You will be south, on your
right hand will be east, and on your Left
hand west" Seeing lack of attention
on the part Of Bobby, and wishing to
catch him: "What is on your left hand,
Bobby?" Bobby lin deep confusion)-
PLEASE. it's some tar, an it won't come
of."-Tt-Bits.
"But. mamma" said the beautiful
South American heiress, do you believe
will have any trouble in being received
in society in the United states7' IT