New-York tribune., 1902-05-20
THE TALK OF TIE DAT.

..r rar,ornhcr" saws a brakeman quoted by The
pbUqdaIphia Record. - when ! was boy. ana one
~ the fellows would get baseball bat, now
We would an want to take hold Of IT, balance II
critic7llv swing II a. an imaginary ball and give
wise opiulons a. to Its merits. Well. these golf
ulavers are much tho way, only they are
grown men. and sornc OF them pretty well along In
years They generally get together up IN the
baggage car and such n line or tax you never
beard anywhere else outside lunatic asylum
But when one Of them produces new stick II al
w.ys reminds me Of ;he old days and the baseball
bat Each man takes it in turn. strikes An attitude
as though there was a golf ball tho floor of the
car. and swings at It with all his might And they
are so very serious about II and so terribly in
earnest. / tell you. they are a queer lot"
A Feature Of His Rusness-'I thought she was
a woman OF unbrrakable Will" said the man with
Ana so she VAS said the man with the incan-
yet you tell me that she is completely sub
servient 70 her husband" went the first man.
Well yon see she married lawyer. ana ne
An unlettered CeIts application to the Philadel-
phia court OF naturalization resulted in the follow
Ing dialogue:
Judgo-Have you read the Declaration of Inde
pendencc?
AppHcant-No. sir
Judse-Have you read the Constitution of the
United States?
Applicant-No. sir.
Judge-Haye you read the history of the United
States?
Applicant-No. sir.
Judge-No? Well. what have you read7
ApplIcant-Oi have red hair on head your
honor.
They stood on the lava encrusted shore OF the
little island that had been destroyed by the vol
Blazing torrents stI ran down the sides OF the
mountain while the very air seemed fun OF fire
man ~, mo % az iro ai0S inse % at Ias, tpTrd uT AZ
!iI - tt "'I a,,tS - ,.,,,
The task OF hurling him into the mbelehins bel crater
was, indeed, u glad surccase from the woe OF the
inhabitants.-(Baltimore American.
The Buffalo CommercIal' says that an Ameri-
can woman. belonging to the nouveau richie. gave
vent to malapropism recently. which Is choice In
its humor. Meeting acquaintance the deck
Of an outgoing steamer. she announced. with great
ecat that she was going abroad have the dear
girls (her two daughters portraits painted. why
not in America" queried the acquaintance. "Oh.
I've tried all the American artists In vain. Now
were going over to what the old masters can
do"
Isn't this awful?" asked the common looking
man on the crowded streetcar. Isn't this awful?
1T is awful" agreed the person address ed who
was, was a street railway magnate. IT Is awful There
that 'Gndgctors number and have him on the
]. H. Haslam. of Winnipeg. is thus quoted in
The Buffalo Commercial": I'VE have not cor
dially welcomed Englishmen hut the American we
like to take in and make of The territory
into which the American farmers are hocking is as
large as Austria. France and Germany, and practi-
cally in the same latitude. Our winters
severe, our summers delightful. We raise maGnifi-
cent potatoes. the best wheat earth, and
periments with corn at Fargo indicate that
may yet have that cereal. Wo grow apples.
have the best timber. much iron as there is
in Northern Minnesota and soft coal OF excellent
quality. our grazing lands are also ricn and
export cattle to England"
When the King was invited by the British and
Foreign Bible Society To accept at it's hands the
sacred volume to be used at the coronation service
1t could hardly have been aware that the inclusion
sh public no doubt shares it's beef~a belief which
the Archbishop of Canterbury has finally shattered.
The Apocrypha has never been a faVorte of theirs,
although some British editions of the Bble-say.
from nfty a hundred old-COntain
dubious books. Now il is almost impossible to meet
an edition that recognizes them-(London Chronicle.
An anonymous benefactor has just founded
travelling scholarship for journalists in connection
with the City OF London School Commenting
this THE London Graphic" says: Travelling
should he part OF the pressman's education no less
than of the artists, and money spent in giving
asprants 10 the calling something analogous to the
PriX de Rome the Radcliffe Travelling Fellow
ship to compete for will be money well invested"
In Norway two travelling scholarships
ally awarded TO the journalists by the State
They were neither of them brilliant scholars but
they liked to move with tho times as regards their
knowledge of currei.t events so the daily news
paper was regularly delivered at their humble
domlclle; and II was Jennies duty to read out
during breakfast time all the most interesting
through the latest intelligence from the front,
si!e tLeu 10 another page OF the paper and said;
dead What's an octogenarian?
Wen, ! don't quite know what they are. but
hear Of them but they're dyng."-Q.ondon An
swers.