Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1902-07-12
ALL ABSENT MINDED

even the diminutive coffee cups were filed
with asaes. The last drops OF bright colored
cordials glistened ike precious stones IN
she narrow pony glasses.
Something very funny happened 70 me
the other day" said the musician, without
the least reference to tie prevailing sub
ject Of conversation. You know I'm just
back from a small concert tour-same,
same thing; railroad trip IN the morning,
rest in some hotel in the afternoon and
playing at night. On Tuesday ! reached the
last and smallest town on my list, a regular
hole in the ground which seemed the most
impossible place for a piano recital. Well, a
meal and a nap killed a couple Of hours for
me, but after both there was plenty Of time
left on my hands, arsi nothing to do.
fSauntering through the hotel IN search
Of some diversion, in a large room which
must have been the parlor-not . human
soul to be seen IN or near it'll discovered a
yellow-keyed piano, a stack Of well-worn
music sheets, and a bound volume lay on the
instrument. Mechanically ! picked up the
volume and glanced down the leaves.
"'Why,' / said to myself, that looks very
neat. Let's near how it sounds. And | sat
down and played one page.
"'WeIl, its quite good / @aid.A Then |
played another page and said; i should
think this very good indeed. wonder who
wrote it,"
Il turned the leaves and found the title
page. The eomposer-oh, well, Of course, no
wonder 1t was my own name 1 saw. /
had been playing one Of my own pieces with
out recognizing it,
This somehow reminded the Author Of
something.
"You remember Yones," he said, she
painter whom an overland Providence mas
blessed with % children, all alive and tnriv-
ing? He used to live in New York, but that
was long ago. There is no place in this city
for a family Of that size. Jani,ors warldn't
stand it. So Yones moved over to Jersey
and settled on the outskirts OF some town,
three-fourths country and o%ne-fourth city.
'Well one fine day Yones was s~trolling
along a path some distarce away from his
home in search OF a good piece OF landscape
to sketch when he came across a group Of
small children whose appearance rather
pleased him. He stopped and hailed them
with a hello and at the same time his left
hand instinctively Owed into his trousers
pocket for a gift penny. The five children
just stared at him.
"'What's your name, little one2' said
Yones, making a direct appeal to a girl Of
about seven. who seemed to be the leader OF
the party.
"'Georgiana, SIR said the little girl, with
her politest smile.
GA fine, long, well sounding name Of the
kind | like, muttered Yones to himself.
Then he added aloud: And what is your
other nameY
"'Yones, sir, said the little girl, smiling
again.
"A well-educated child was Jones in
ward comment. Then something struck
him. Jones, he repeated, how DO you spell
it,
"'Y-o-n-e-s,' sir spelled the diminutiye
Georgiana.
why, | thought that name was unique"
Yones ebuckled. But there must be others.
Who is your papa, my child!
.'The little girl opened her eyes very wide.
Don't you know me, papa? she cried
I'm Ne. IS You see Yones had numbered
them according to age at one time and had
even proposed that each child should carry
it's number in large figures on the breast or
the shoulder, but Mrs. Yones wouldn't
have it,.
"'Sure enough, sure enough, my dear
Yones stammered. L just wanted to see
if you would recognize me. There a penny
for you
d" Thank you, sir, said Georgiana.
"'And we, ~papa-won't we get nothin',
howled the other four. And Noncs sighed
and found more pennies
The newspaper man laughed so much that
he was quickly reminded that it was now
his turn.
Wei there is Prof. Hyetotes who knows
everything but about himself, he began.
"He has never been married at all and is
able to distinguish a child from a kitten only
with the aid of his text book definitions,
Some time ago after dinner, the professor
was leaving the home OF friends who live in
one of those up-to-date apartment houses.
On reaching the next landing on his way
downstairs ne saw a man coming straight
toward him.
when tEey were about to collide Hye-
tote, s|torocd like a gentleman and raised
ms hat. + e stranger returned the salute.
The professor looked hard at him and gig
gled. The other smiled back. Then Hyetotes
stepped aside to let the stranger pass. I'm
fortunately the latter stepped the same
way. and they We're still face to face, An
other attempt in the opposite direction was
equally unsuccessful.
The professors friends were watching
him f-5m the landing above. knowing his
observation-disclosures they wanted to be sure
that he reached the street safely. They
heard him sputter with hal~i-suppressed mer-
rimcnt. first TO this and then 90 that, and
finally FAY: i beg your a.ton, sir. please
notice that / am now going to take tine
right side if you stand still for a moment
"'Ah, wake mn, my dear professor, cried