News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-01-29

3. Landis-GoVerno Balls Apt II
Iustration-Lack of Beauty as Pc
Iitical CaptaI-His Second Choice.
Copyright, 1902, by Champ Clark
Persons who have not experimental
with telling anecdotes may not know
It, but it is never the less true, that
there are at least a score Of anecdotes
amusing when you read them to where
there is one fit to tell in public speech
The latter class must be short. Snappy
and to the point Especially is that
true in congress. In that arena many
would be humOrists fall down by
spinning an anecdote out to too great
a length. One day Mr.. Reeder of Kan.
sas consumed at least ten minutes in
celebrating something which he unWise-
~ deemed an anecdote. When he had
concluded. Mr.. Thayer Of Massachu-
sets very pertnently and innocently
inquired, what is the point to that
story Kepier's "anecdote" bored the
house but Tlayer's question con-
vulsed it.
"Ma Left Out"
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borrowed from some Texas statesman
at the Kansas City convention. To
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very pronounced feeling that he had
forgotten something. You have all eX-
perienced that feeling and know how it
worries you He racked his brain to
discover what it was that he had for
gotten without avail. He finally stop
ped his wagon, unWrapped the various
packages of goods and carefully COM
pared them with the list. Everything
tailed exactly. He drove on, still pos
sessed with the idea that he had for
home, the girls ran out to meet him and
were delighted with the articles he had
purchased for them He asked them if
all the things were there. and they de-
clared they were Just then one of
them looked at the empty wagon and
inquired, Pa, where is MAJ BY JOve,'
the old man exclaimed, i knew | had
forgotten something. and it is your
ma" So" continued the colonel. when
anybody writes Democratic platform
and leaves out bimetallism as sure as
you live he has forgotten ma, and we
can't get along without her"
"Euorv+bi,o no,ooor.+;ov
=. ~ Jo,a. lit, 49,, :,
1900 with Hon, charles p Londis he
did not fell many anecdotes. but he
managed to work good deal of wit
Bumor and sarcasm into his speeches
One of his favorite passages was this:
~In 1892. under BENJAMIN Harrison,
the country reached the high water
mark of prosperity. In that wear
through some strange perversity the
people carried the election for the
Democrats and elected Grover Cleye-
land Immediately everything went
Democratic. Horses went Democratic
Mules went Democratic, Cattle hogs
and sheen went Democratic. Wheat
corn. oats, hay and cotton went Demo
cratic. Even the sugar trees in the
Wabash valley went Democratic to
such an extent that the sap refused to
run" And never saw an audience
that that bit of eXtravagant humOr and
sarcasm did not set to shouting. Ian
dis has a most fetching style of deliv-
cry. and his manner had as much to do
with the laughter and applause as
what he said, perhaps more.