davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Caller-Your sister expects me to
stay to supper, doesn't she, Willie?
Willie-Sure; and she said If you
stayed as long as you did last night
she thought she would ask you to stay
to breakfast.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

This makes the fifth time you've.
asked me for dance. Why don't you.
dance with some of the other girls?"
well, you see, dance SO badly !
hate to ask them"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

A Chicago man says that $40 should
start a person housekeeping. So 1t
would-poorhouse- keeping.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Short-Do you believe that fellow
feeling makes us wondrous kind? mo.
| live at boarding house, you know"
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Here's a piece in the paper about
women writing sermons" That's
good. l never could read Sermon
Atlanta Constitution.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

generosity of a Mishawaka man. He
will have the structure moved to town
and will preserve it. James and Mary
Mckinley, the grandparents of the
late distinguished President, were in
destitute circumstances during their
residence there. They passed away
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

"They say he makes little more than
a bare living for himself" mo won
der. Look at the clothes his wife has"
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

ROOu. HtNtI COulu eau a Del llOAs
Atlanta Constitution.
Short-Do you believe that fellow
feeling makes us wondrous kind? mo.
live at boarding house, you know"
philadelphia Bulletin.
"They say he makes little more than
bare living for himself" mo won
der. Look at the clothes his wife has"
philadelphia Bulletin.
81 think Eve was to be pitied." 80
do I. Why, there was no other wo-
men whose clothes she could criticise."
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Mamma Cat the breakfast table,
You always ought to use your napkin,
George. Georgia. am usin 1T, NAM
ma. I've got the dog tied to the leg Of
the table with it.-Motherhoed.
Tess-That beggar woman's a fraud.
What did she ask you for? Jess-She
said she wanted few pennies to get
chocolate ice cream soda and some
lobster salad.-Philadelphia Press.
Willie-Pa, this paper says: Beer
makes Drawn, and fish makes brains"
Why do, fish make brains? Pa-Prob-
ably because they travel In schools;
now run away and play.-Philadelphia
Press.
Towne-Scribbler tells me he work.
ed hard and lost great deal of sleep
while he was writing that novel OF
his. Browne-Well, his loss was my
gain. l tried to read 1t last night
Philadelphia Press.
GLOW can you stand the slow life OF
n small town." "Oh, it's matter OF
taste. like driving; some men like to
ride so fast they can't see anything
others like to dwadle along and en-
low the view-Detroit Free Press.
what splendid language Mr.. Cho-
kah uses in his sermons!" yes, In
deed. But then what can you expect!
His sermons are invariably made up OF
fve-eighths Bible and three
eighths Shakespeare" = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Joe-We ought to be thankful for
the general prosperity this year.
.Jerry-That's right; lots of men that
used to borrow money of me don't
speak to me now.-Detroit. Free Press.
First FarmerIBlest If T think the
agricultural department Is any good
at ALI Second Farmer-What's the
trouble? First Farmer-Well. l wrote
TO 'em to find out how high wheat was
goin,, to go an l couldn't get no sat
isfaction at all.-Puck.
"In your vermiform appendix" the
surgeon told him after the operation
was over. 1--WE found, strange to say, a
small brass tack" THAT proves was
right" feebly answered the sick man,
when / said it was something had
eaten in mince pie-"-Chicago Record
Herald
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

81 think Eve was to be pitied. so
do I. Why, there was no other wo-
men whose clothes she could criticise."
philadelphia Bulletin.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Joe-We ought to be thankful for
the general prosperity this year.
Jerry--That's right; lots OF men that
used to borrow money of me don't
speak to me now.-Detroit. Free Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

"How can you stand the slow lie OF
a. small town." "Oh, it's matter OF
taste, like driving; some men like to
ride so fast they can't see anything
others like to dwadle along and en-
iov the yiew.-Detroit Free Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

First FarmerlBlest If 7 think the
agricultural department is any good
at ALL. Second Farmer-What's the
trouble? First Farmer-Well. wrote
to 'em to find out how high wheat was
goin,, to go an. couldn't get no sat-
isfaction at all.-Puck.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

What splendid language Mr.. Cho-
kah uses in his sermons! yes, IN
deed. But then what can you expect!
His sermons are invariably made up or
five-eighths Bible and three
eighths Shakespeare" = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Scribbler tells me he work.
ed hard and lost great deal of sleep
while he was writing that novel OF
his. Browne-Well, his loss was my
gain. tried to read it last night
Philadelphia Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

"In your vermiform appendix" the
surgeon told him after the operation
was over, 1--WE found, strange to say, a
small brass tack" THAT proves was
right" feebly answered the sick man,
when l said it was something ! had
eaten in mince pie."-Chicago Record
Herald
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Mamma Cat the breakfast table,
You always ought to use your napkin,
George. Georgia. am usin' 1T, NAM
ma. I've got the dog tied to the leg Of
the table with. it.-Motherhoed.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-24

Willie-Pa, this paper says: Beer
makes Drawn, and fish makes brains"
Why do, fish make brains? Pa-Prob-
ably because they travel in schools;
now run away and play.-Philadelphia
Press.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31
WOULD ESCAPE FROM
SALTWATER JAIL
&. D. Merrill, Alleged Forger, Makes
Good Use of Case
Knife.

o. - 80. -
The man of many names arrested
Tuesday night on suspicion of having
raised a United States Express money
order from 81 to $10, and who claimed
at that time that his name was Frank
Simmons, admitted when arraigned, In
the municipal court yesterday for a.
preliminary examination that his name
is E. D. Merrill. After consultation
with his attorney, he waived eXamiTa-
ton and will await the action of the
grand jury, which will convene next
month. Merrill was fully identified
yesterday as the man who purchased
the order in Minneapolis. He refuses
to give any information concerning
himself. Merrill tried hard to get out
of the city jail early yesterday morn
ing After his supper had been brought
to him Wednesday night he secreted
the case knife, and, after shaping 1T
into saw, he proceeded to saw on
the paddock that closed his cell. Capt.
Barnes discovered his work early yes
terday morning and frustrated the Jail
delivery. Merrill is now confined In
the county jail.
One of the large barns at the, Lily
Lake Driving park was totally destroy
ed by fire yesterday afternoon, togeth-
er with the dwelling of Burt Clear
water, who for some time has been
in charge of the farm at the track.
The loss will approximate $4,000.
The warehouse on the levee at the
foot of Nelson street, formerly be-
longing to the estate of A. T. jerks,
deceased, has been sold to Simonet
Bros, and will be occupied by the
Economy Rug company. The building
was partially destroyed by fire two
weeks ago, and will be rebuilt, at a
cost of about $1,000.
Relatives of Leo Sprich, a former
resident of this city, are doing every
thing possible to locate him, but as
yet have been unsuccessful He left
here a year ago. intending to go to
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31

st. Paul for the purpose of consulting
DR.. Stamm. Sprich was i'll, and told
his relatives that he would probably
enter st. Paul hospital, but inquiries
at all of the hospitals failed to give
any trace of the missing man. He is
a beneficiary in an insurance poilcy
on the life Of his brother, Adolph
Sprich, who was suffocated in q fire
at the old red warehouse on the levee,
and the policy will not be paid until
the man is found or his death is estab-
lished.
A five days mission is being held at
Ascension Episcopal church, and sew
eral prominent clergymen from st.
Paul and Minneapolis are taking part
in the services.
Rev. J. H. Albert, formerly pastor of
Grace Congregational church, in this
city, conducted the funeral of j. w.
Wheeler, in the town of Saltwater,
yesterday afternoon. Many residents
of this city attended.
The registration of male voters in
the city numbers zoos, the number
being the same as the registration Of
1900.
The Republican and Democratic raj
lies arranged for tonight and tomor-
row night at South Saltwater have
been declared off, the village board Of
health having decided that the rallies
could not be permitted in view of the
smallpox epidemic existing there.
Chris Norbeck, the Minneapolis de-
tective, who received three years for
accepting a bride, was received at the
prison yesterday afternoon, and hence
forth will be known as No. S72. Nor
beck and four other prisoners came
over on the afternoon train and alight-
ed at the prison. They were taken in
charge by Deputy Warden Glennon
and Assistant Deputy Warden Colligan,
and in few minutes had donned their
CARDS and were placed in receiving
cells, where they will remain until this
morning. Norbeck evidently took a
philosophical view of the situation,
and never said a word to anyone after
the iron gates changed as they shut
him in.
The remains of Miss Temperance
Clark, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. w.
G. Clark, were yesterday shipped to ST.
Louis for burial.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31

ways in the workings and pass through
clouds of coal dust in the breakers.
Notwithstanding this their eagerness
for information was not diminished
and they expect to put in another hard
days work tomorrow in this vicinity.
Bishop Spalding asked more ques-
tons than any one of the Others He
was usually in the center of group
of commissioners and asked many
questions of those who are employed
in and about the mines. All the COM
missioners were good listeners, but
poor takers, when 1t came down to
getting an expression from the men on
any feature of the mining business. 1t
is certain they have agreed to not say
what they think of what came before
them.
Todays tour consisted Of an inspec-
ton of No. 2 mine of the Hillside Coal
and Iron company, operated by the
Erie company, and the coal breaker of
the Delaware & Hudson company. The
former is located at Forest City, TWEEN
ty-two miles north of this city, and the
breaker at Carbonate, four miles
south of Forest City.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31
MALLEABLEIR0N
PLANTS "A, COMBINE
Three Concerns, One Extensive, Refuse
to Enter twenty Millions
Capital.

SHARON. Pa, Oct. 30.-The COM
bine of the malleable iron plants Of the
country has been formed. The Nation
al Malleable Casting company, owning
plants at Sharon, Toledo, Cleveland
and indianapolis and Chicago. refused
to enter, as did two other concerns.
The capital of the concern is placed at
$4,000, 900.
The concerns involved are Pratt &
Helmsworth, Buffalo, N. T.; Michigan
Malleable Iron company, Detroit,
Mich; Whitley Malleable Iron COM
pany, Muncie. Ind; Chicago Malelable
Casting company, West Pullman, Ill;
Moline Malleable Iron company, ST.
Charles, Ill. It is stated that Judge
Gary and Max Pam, Of New York, are
the promoters.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31

assumed a complexion which not only
requires a check in it's aggressiveness,
but actual amendment is at last adj
m1tted among those responsible for
these conditions. Such a concession
was made when dozen or more reei-
procity treaties were submitted to the
senate, but the sincerity of the con-
cession and the honest intention to
surrender the least advantage as long
as 1t can be held is emphatically dis
proved by the fact that session after
session of the senate has passed with
out taking the least action on these
treaties.
Handwriting on the Wall.
II need hardly refer to the preva-
lence, just at this time, among the
supporters of high protection of dec
larations and professions in favor of
tariff readjustment. We hear it on
every side. What does it mean? 1t
means that they see the handwriting
on the wall as they have never seen it
before. Does it mean that they are
sincerely willing to do something for
the people as against old comrades
who have heretofore paid well for the
neglect of the people?
"How can we believe this when we
see still paraded UP and down before
our sight the hoary-headed, bloated
and malodorous old fraud and pre-
tence that the tariff should be revised
by its friends? What have these
friends of the tariff done that they
should again be trusted? They have
quieted the peoples fears and profess
ed solicitude for their welfare, and
promised to lead them to pleasant
places, and now that shoals and rocks
have been struck, they seek by another
promise to mend the whole affair and
retain the confidence and trust of those
they have deluded.
II have supposed that my fellow cit
liens are thoughtful on this subject,
and that their thoughtfulness has led
them to desire an amendment of our
tariff laws and rectification of the
wrong and injustice that follow in
their train have attempted to give
reasons why this work should not be
entrusted to those who have so fully
demonstrated their insincerity and I'M
fitness for the task
Following the meeting there was a
nom partisan reception to Mr.. Cleve-
land, at which about 200 prominent
residents of this city were present.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31

isfy any thoughtful citizen unbiased
by interests that the spirit of a high
protective tariff grows by indulgence
and mocks what it feeds upon, and
that its progressive greed and ruthless
ness is becoming more and more a
menace to the welfare and happiness
of our people.
The Coal Tariff.
"How long has it been thought de-
cent or even safe to cheat the cOnSum-
ers of coal by putting it on the free
list, but dishonesty. providing for it's
custom taxation in another cunningly
constructed provision of the law? How
recently have the friends of the tariff
had the bGldness to perpetrate such a
trick and take the chances of facing
the people when in the painful stress
of a threatened coal famine it should
be exposed?
II have called your attention to the
fact that in 1887 competition which, If
unrestricted, might modify the effect
upon our consumers of a high pro-
often strangled by combinations quite
prevalent at this time, and frequently
called trusts, which have for their
object the regulation Of the supply and
price of commodities made and sold by
members aof the combination When
this was written I suppose the trusts
and combinations mentioned as quite
prevalent so far as they were impor-
tant, might have been counted on the
fingers of two hands. When the friends
of the tariff last took up the work of its
reconstruction, these trusts and COM
binations had increased by the hun
dredS. The consequence of their op-
Grafton could not fail to be understood.
1t was as plain then as now that a
high protective tariff defends them
against foreign competition, and that
by agreed association and confederacy
in production and price they defend
themselves against competition at
home.
Close Their Ears to Consumers.
ct was perfectly apparent that un-
der the broad wings of high protection,
and fattened by unearned accunula-
ton, they could complacently close
their ears to the troublesome cry for
easier living from the everyday con-
sumner. Is it not true, then, that the
encroachment of the doctrine of high
protection have been constantly pro-
greSSiVe?
Us 1t not true that the heedlessness
of it's expectant beneficiaries and their
disregard for the welfare of the great
mass of consumers is more and more
impudently exhibited, and is it not true
that to all other reasons for reform
of our tariff laws, there is added the
birth and growth of their cruel and
unmerciful progeny of trusts and COM
binations which stand guard against
all attempts to seek relief in the field
of free competition?
The present tariff conditions have
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31

MANILA, Oct. 30.-Lfbel proceed
1ngs have been instituted against the
editor and proprietors of the Libertas,
Spanish newspaper published in Ma
Mia, on account of the publication of
an article attacking Gen. j. Franklin
Bell and his plan Of aiding the people
OF the provinces of Batangas and La
guna, Luzon, and Of the island of Min
sdoro. This plan was put into effect
after the cessation of hostiIfties = IT
consisted Of selling rice and supplying
the people with seeds and farming inn
PIGMENTS, and 1t resulted in profits
amounting to $4,000 in gold.
!. Gen. Bell has recently been ordered
home. The presidentes of all the towns
in Batangas province petitioned Gen.
Bell to take steps to have his plan of
aid continued after his departure. Gen.
Bell thereupon consulted Gen. Davis
and the members of the civil commits
sion and decided to place the $27, 900
in his possession in the hands of the
commission, and it will be expended
by the commission among the people
of the provinces whence it was deriv-
ed. Gen. Bell came to Manila as the
guest of Gov. Taft and drafted an act
covering the continuation of his plan.
This act was accepted by the commits
sion, and Gen. Bell transferred the
$4,000 to the insular treasury.
After this transfer Of funds had
been made the Libertas published an
article charging Gen. Bell with an at
tempt to steal this fund and take it
with him to the United States, but
saying that the commission had forced
him to surrender the money. Gen.
Davis transmitted to Gen. Bell copy
of the Libertas article. Gen. Bell re-
sponded by denying the charges Gen.
Davis thereupon transmitted them to
the prosecuting attorney. This official
then instituted the proceedings against
the newspaper. -
Thomas, with Lieut.. Miles and his par
ty on board, anchored in Manila har-
Dor tonight.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31
At-MATcH.

If love were what the rose Is,
And were like the leaf,
Our lives would grow together
In sad or singing weather,
Blown fields TOR flowers close,
Green pleasure of gray grief;
If love were what the rose it,
And I were' lilzerEth leaf.
If you were Fhrall to sorrow,
And I were page to joy,
We'd play for1lives and seasons
With loving looks and treasonS
And tears Of night and morrow
And laughs of maid and boy;
II you werSsthraH to sorrow,
And I were page to joy.
If you were April's lady,
And I We're lord in May,
Wed throw with leaves for hours
And draw for days with. flowers
Till day. like night, were shady,
And night were bright like day;
If you were Aprils lady,
And I were lord in May.
# you were queen of pleasure,
And I were king of pain,
We'd hunt down love together,
Pluck out his flying feather,
And-teach his feet a measure,
And find his mouth rein;
If you were queen of pleasure,
And 1 were king of pain.
Algernon Charles Swinburne.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31
MARY AND ME.

The automobile flashes by
As jaunty as kin be,
Old fashioned ways are good enough
Fur Mary Jane an me;
Fur ! kin drive with jes, one hand nan
Fur me an Mary Jane
They're buildin' wireless telegraphs ;
Fur use across the sea;
I don't believe they'll be much good
To Mary Jane an me.
I'd rather whisper in her ear
A-walkin' down the lane;
These new inventions amt much use
To me an Mary Jane.
Electric lights is bein' hung
From chandelier an tree;
They don't fill any long felt want
Fur Mary Jane an me;
Fur as we strolled in years gone by,
We like to stroll again.
The moonlight's plenty good enough
Fur me an Mary Jane.
Epworth Herald.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31
ISLAND DISAPPEARING
FROM LAKE MICHIGAN
Indications Are That South Manitou
Will Be swalIowed Up g
Suddenly.

DETROIT, Mich, Oct. 3o-Anxiety
is felt in South Manitou island over
Indications that the island may sud-
denly be swallowed up in Lake Michi-
gan. Capt. Lafberg, in charge Of the
life-saving station at Sleeping Bear,
has notified his superiors at Washing
ton that in his opion the island will
soon disappear.
A boat house recently built by the
life sailors of the island dropped out Of
sight, and recent soundings have shown
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-31
ANTHRACITE COMMISSIONERS
4. STRIKE THE. PRACTICAL PART
OF THEIR WORK
INVESTIGATE coLLlERlEs
AND QUESTION MINERS
Bishop spaIdins the Most Inquisitive
of All - The Commissioners Crawl
Through Gansways, Breathe Clouds
of Coal Dust and Get All Tired Out
and Grimy.

SCRANTON, Pa, Oct. 30.-The sew
en- commissioners appointed by Presi-
dent Roosevelt to adjust the differ
ences existing between the anthracite
mine workers and their employers to-
day made a tour of the extreme upper
coal fields and saw every step taken In
the production of coal from the time 1T
is blasted from the ground, hundreds
of feet below the surface, to the point
where it is sent to market ready for
the use OF the consumer. The arbitra-
tors had an interesting day and re-
turned to their hotel tonight grfmy
from coal dust and tired after eight
busy hours of observation and investi-
cation.
The commissioners displayed the
greatest interest in every feature of
coal mining and went about their work
in manner that was pleasing to both
the mining superintendent and the rep
resentatives of the mine workers who
accompanied the presidents arbitra-
tors.
Had to Unbend Themselves.
The seven commissioners had to en-
dure many diseomforts, make their
way through wet places in the mines,
almost crawl along some of the gang