The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-10-05
"An 'adJuatable Iunatlo'

It was on the morning or St. EAtFAoh Day. I had been drifting aimlesHiy around the city for hours. tossed about by the restless tide of humanity that ebbed and flowed in true sea-fashion at the Wash ington and Illinois street crossing. The few friends I had been fortunate enough to fall in with prior to the parade had been unfortunate enough to lose in the furry and excitement attending that event. and, brought to a sudden anchor age at the Bates House landing, found myself at the mercy of a boundless throng that held not one familiar face It was literal jam at that Juncture and anxious and imaptient as I was to break away, was forced into a bondage which though not exactly agreeable. was at least the source of an experience that will finger in my memory fresh and clear when every other feature of the day shall have faded.
 l had been crowded Into a position on a step of the stairway that gave me a lean upon the balustrade and placed me head and shoulder above the crowd; and although l comprehended the helplessness of position, I was. in a manner, thank full for the opportunity it afforded me to study the unsuspecting subjects just below As my hungry eyes went foraging 1 about from face to face they fell upon the features of an individua1 so singular 1 ly distracted in appearance and so ap- parently oblivious to his surrounoings' that 1 mentally congratulated him upon his enviable disposition.
 He was slender man of thirty years, perhaps: not tall, but something over medium height; he had dark hair and ] eyes, with a complexion much too fair 1 to correspond; was not richly dressed, but neatly, and in good taste.
 Instinctlvely I wondered who and what 1 he was; and my speculative fancy went to work and made lawyer of him-then l a minister-an artist-a musician-an &C., tor-and dancing master. Sudd@nly | found my stare returned with equal fer vor, and tried to look away, put some- thing held me. He was elbowtng his way to where I stood, and smiling as he came T don't Know you" he said, when, after an almost superhuman effort. he had gained my side, to the discontinue of a brace of mangy little bootblacks that occupied the step below-.1 don't know you personally, but you look bored. I'm troubled with the same disease and want company-as the poet of the Sierras walls How all alone a man may be in crowdsr Something in the utterance made me offer him my hand.
 He grasped it warmly. Its curious, he said, ''how friends are made and where true fellowship begins. Now we've known each other all our lives and never met before. What dye say?'
 l smiled approval at the odd assertion.
 But tell me-" he continued, what conclusion you have arrived at in your study of me; come now, be frank-wnat do you make of meT'
 Although I found myself considerably startled I feigned composure and acknowledged that 1 had been speculat- found myself unable to define special character.
 q thought so," he said. ''rIo one ever reads my character-no one ever will. Why, Pve had phrenoIog1sts groping around among the bumps by the hour to no purpose, and physiognomists or'ving themselves cross-eyed; but they never found it. and they never will. The very things of which I am capable they in variabIy place beyond my capacity; and with like sageness, the very things can't do they declare me to be mas ter hand at But I like to worry them; it's fun for me. Why old Fowler himself here the other night, thumbled my head as mellow as May-apple and never came within a mile of it Some charac- l ters are readable enough, I'm willing to admit. Your face, for instance, is bull 1 ietin board to me, but you can't read mine, for I'm neither a doctor, lawyer. artist actor, musician, nor anything else you may have in your mind. You might guess your way all through the diction- ary and then not get it. It's simply an impossibility that's all.
 l l laughed uneasily, for although anus l ed at the quaint humor of his language. a nervous fluttering of the eyes and spasmodic twitching of the corners of his mouth made me think his manner merely an affectation. But I was inter ested and as his conversation seemed to l invite the interrogation, I flatiy asked him to indulge my curiosity and tell me what he was.
 wait till the crowd thins, and maybe I will. In the meantime here's a cigar and here's a light-as MT. Quilp play fully remarks to Tom Scott-'Smoke away, you dog your
 well. you're character" said du- biously.
 ''Yes." he replied "but you can't tell what kind and I can tell you the very trade you work at"
 I smiled incredulously.
 Now don't look lofty and assume professional air for you're only mechanic, and a sign painter at thac'
 Although he spoke with little courtesy of address, there was a subtle something in his eye that drew me magnet-like and held me. l was silent.
 Want to know how I became aware of that fact?" he went on, with quick, sharp glance at my bewildered face. There's nothing wonderful about my Knowing that; I've had my eye on you for two hours, and you stare at every signboard you pass, worse than coun- try-jake; and once or twice I saw you stop and study carefully some fresh de- | sign, or some new style of letter. Youro | a stranger here in the city, too. Want to know how I can tell? Because you walk like you were actually going some place; but I notice that you never get there, for continually crossing and re- crossing streets and back-tracking past l show windows and congratulating your- self, doubtless, upon the thorough busi- ness air of your reflection in the plate glass Come, we can get through now; | let's walk"
 | I followed him unhesitatingly. To say that I was simply curious would he too uild I was fascinated. and to that de- gree I actually fastened on his arm, and | chung there till we had quite escaped 1 the crowd. T like you, some way" he sad but you're too impulsive; you let your fancy get away with your better judgment. COW you don't know me, and I'm even porfdering whether to frankly | unbosom to you, or give you the slip: and I'll not leave the proposition to you