The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-08-15
THE FAT MANS
DORY CRUISE

you how to be a good sailor quicker
than anything else"
The short, fat man in the cross-seat
paused for breath and his thin friend
looked at him admiringly:
"Djedoit?"
ASure thing" said the fat man. "Oh,
was a regular come-on for Suburban
vile, a jeewhilliker lalIagaloo of a
greenb orn who'd never seen salt wa
ter, and, say. it honestly makes me
sick to think of it.
''They don't do that sort of thing out
in Orange, where I'd lived before l
moved up to the Sound Not on your
life
"When l found that everybody in
the place talked boats, even if he
didn't know a iibboom from push
cart, l saw that ! was up against it
hard. I always believe in doing in a
suburban town as the Romans do, SO
to speak
'In Orange I was member Of Chau-
tauqua circle, No. 16, and when it
came right down to keeping cases on
dates. l was peacherino for fair.
But, say, this sailing game was new
on me, though I didn't say so.
almost before the last moving van
landed my spare furniture fellow
named Brown, who had the bungalow
next o mine, came over and says he to
me, says he:
"'Mr. johnson, I'm glad to welcome
you as neighbor. My name is
Brown, Shackleton Brown, SIR
Thanks, old sport sad l. How
are they running. eh?'
Brown was neighborly, and pretty
soon he says:
"fYou moved from Orange, the van
driver tells me, and I suppose you
came up here for the sailing
"'You're an old sport says l, and
then / went over to Browns and
liquored with him.
I'm giving it to you straight that l
never drank such liquid fire in my life.
Honest iniun. ] couldn't have felt
worse if I'd gotten my mouth right
over Mount Pely and swallowed some
sizzling lazy
Must have gone to my head for sure,
because l began telling Brown about
the big yacht I'd run down on the
Florida coast. Said I'd had streak of
ill luck and that I'd concluded to try
small-boat sailing"
The thin man on the seat beside the
speaker looked intense admiration
and chuckled.
81 dunno what started me-" con-
tinued the fat man, modestly "but
before l had finished with that guy
talking about my big yacht had An
anias looking like a selling platter.
When I'd smoked my pipe and come out
to bit Brown talked and / saw that
1t was up to Inc to make good.
''He said that he'd put me into the
Never Reef Yacht club, the saltiest ag-
gregation of amateur tars to be found
on the Sound. | couldn't refuse and
when / explained that | had no small
boat and had never sailed anything
smaller than a 70-footer he gave me
that song and dance about getting a
dory.
81 got book that told all about sail
ing, and say that's where my Chau-
tauqua circle training came in a nose
to the good. | learned the whole
thing and then l wondered why peo-
pie made so much fuss about sailing,
1t looked too easy.
81 was elected to the Never Reef
club all right, all right, and I blew in
a good four plunks for yachting cap
with the clubs flag on the front Say,
I looked great in it.
81 felt as big as a thirty-second de-
gree mason with a sword Oh, | was
the real thing, you can gamble, and
you'd a died to have heard me down
at the club giving advice Say, that's
a dangerous game all right, all right.
got along so nicely with it that after
had looked over the club feet tried
to get gay.
"Says /: You're talking about a
new clubhouse. Dead wrong. What's
the use? Why don't you insist that
each member of this club when he gets
Through sailing shall take his boatlet
under his arm and carry it home?
LET him put it on his front lawn
for decoration If there's any man
here too delicate to carry his own boat
home I'll lend hand whenever neces-
sary.' e.
Say on the level, it grew so chilly
right off that ice formed in the har-
Dor. 1t looked just like a scene from
the Polar. Star 4 bio icinIe forpna1 on,