The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-09-10

DuSy with the Hoo Hoo nonsense at NIL.
Waukee.
Nearly all the volcanoes are spellbind-
ing, the Hawaiian, Alaskan, Japanese
and Italian mountains are getting hat
beXcs and violating the anti-smoke ordi-
nances.
A man manner Kali was attending the
Bowling clubs ball in Chicago and hav-
ing bowIed up q trif1e he remarked, in a
disappointed way, that this was the first
ball he had ever attended in which there
was not a fight. To remedy this defect
he stepped over and grossly insulted the
policeman on duty. The policeman had
his own ideas of what was due to his
dignity and he slapped Mr.. Kali against
the wall and threw him down stairs,
afterwards arresting him, thus making
the ball the complete and ideal affair of
which Mr.. Kali had dreamed. , l..
A woman at Ashland, Wis, was COM
mitted to the asylum for incessant
talking. not having stopped for three days.
1t annoyed her husband, who didn't seem
able to get used to it.
Alonzo j. Whiteman has been filling
several pulpits in his native. county in
New York during the absence of the pas
tors on their vacations. Mr.. Whiteman is
versatile gentleman, either very much
abused or. else wearing a split hoof in his
shoe.
Mr.. Bryan announces that he is still
! living and all the old seed republicans
| from Mark Hanna down are filed with
| joy and gladness. -
| RUBBER! Quite a number Of people
whose curiosity, and, we deeply regret to
say unhalloWed curiosity, impelled them
10 look up that improper chapter in Gene
SIS referred to with grief in this column
last Monday, called up by telephone yes
terday to tell the Nonpareil Man that he
| was no biblical student and that he had
fallen by the wayside in picking out the
chapter which was not. proper to be re-
printed In America or for children to read
| 10 all such we sorrowfully repeat the
word OF reproof, 'Rubber!'' But to those
VINO desire, for their own edifcation. tc
| marx the chapter so that the children NAV
not get hold of it, we will correct the item
referred to and state that the chapter
was not Genesis LIV. but Genesis XIV
We regret the error
An old college chum with whom the
writer has been closely associated for the
| last forty years told to-day of getting out
| with the old family crime, viz, the wood
shed ak that the boys sometimes use ia
! cnop Ice from the sidewalk, and of fellins
| ~ "Ac'S'N oHN IL 90 uc1Ofe breakfast. Now
the black oak tree has a belief of tough
ness, and of very gritty toughness. Dur
ing us youth the tree draws a great deal
or iron and gravel out Of the soil and
ou1los itself trunk that makes the iron
wood OF the tropics hunt It's hole when II
comes to a comparison Of muscular fibre
A1ter this trunk gets old and tough and
nall dead, the dull ak rebounds from, II
nke golf ball from red brick wall
1t was against this hard and minis,
proposition that our old friend threw him
SER IN the early morning hours, lust as
the sun was coming up over the edge. The
tree merely shrugged it's shoulders ani
smiled hard, forbidding smile. Our ole
friend tossed the az around loosely for ha !
an hour, starting the skin on both hands
and loosening several rivets In his frame
work. ' - o'i'o
Then the clothesline THOUGHT that =.
mad had enough and caught the ak on tn,
nigh fly. No man ever knows lust VIVA
the sensation is when the clothesl;n,
catches the ak till he has hea,
right there. The surprise u
i terrlnc, and the languages ; every
body in the vicinity uses is disers cef,,,
ana there stands the tree. All # need
is little court plaster. And so to hresL
last and then to the office and the eter
mai round goes on and Nature returns -,
answer to the old query what are w
| here for?' "i0 '"