davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

President Roosevelt offers novel and
reasonable explanation Of why there Will
be no war involving America while ne
is president. He does not feel that, like
Napoleon, he can take the field at the
head of the army. He must stay in Wash
ington, Hence his remark to callers:
'War? Do you think am going to have
a war while I am cooped up here in the
White House? Well, guess not?"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
NEWSPAPER 1NvALIDs

A plethora of invallds is with us day ana
night.
The duty of the press forbids the semblance
of a slight 7.
Forever busy are the wires on Mr.. This or
That One,
Whose inward mechanism tires and lays MIN
out, fiat one.
The columns fill
With notes of Ill. 81.
Turn where we WILL
They bat one
Poor Senator Ezekiel Pod has stitches in his
back. .g
whack.
The Honorable Gumbo Duff needs treatment
antiseptic.
Sir General T. Melancthon Cuff is half an
epileptic.
The Earl of Bore
Is lame and sore.
Prince Cheese is more
Dyspeptic.
The Vicomte Raphael de Skate is in a dread
His temperature is ninety eight, his pulse is
ninety six "a
The Duke of Corncob is sight. To Doctor
Squills debtor,
'He passed a comfortable night, but fear
full is his letter.
@. K. Proudpurse a
Finds govt a curse.
The pope is worse;
He's better. s;
Old Lady Mathematics had chill. Colonel
Highroller ails.
The Guikwar Of squiijitill has two in growing
nails.
The Princess Sguint took cold straightway be-
cause she sawed her corn off. 81
The very Devil is to pay, for he has knocked
horn off
! With threats or brides,
It's time these tribes
OF o'erworked scribes
70 warn off!
John Talman.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

Reports from the Heinze dinner-dance
at Butte, where the young mining king
disbursed his wealth in Pactolean flood
for one nights entertainment, suggest
that Mr.. Heinze should be admitted to DR..
Nichols American court founded on
wealth.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

ONE OF MRS. FRANEiLIN's LETTERS
Ewing Mifflin Of Philadelphia has among
his interesting collection Of autographs, a let
ter written by the wife of Benjamin Frank
lin to one Of his ancestors The letter deals
with homely topics. and is delightfully."- mis-
spelt. Tea kettle appears in it disguised as
textile. " Mrs. Franklins letters, indeed,
were always quaint When her husband, in
1765. was in Europe, she wrote him a de-
tailed description OF their house, saying,
among other things In the room downstairs
the chairs are plain horsehair, and are adj
mired by all. In the parlor Scotch carpet.
which has had much fault found with it.
Your timepiece stands in one corner, which
lis. I am told, all wrong; but say we shall
have all these as they should be when you
come home. In the room for our friends we
have the Earl OF Butte hung UP, and glass,
May 1 desire you to remember drinking
glasses? s s s f8 Z n @
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
SURELY NOT.

Cholly-I said something to Miss
Quickstep the other day, and all she said
was that children and fools speak the
truth. wonder, baw Jove. II she meant
anything personal!
Miss De Muir Certainly not. Every
body knows you're no child
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
Why?

Because nearly the entire circula-
ton of The Journal is the 5 o'clock
edition, which is delivered to the
HOMES and read by all members
Of the family, and is not made up
of large street sales morning, noon
and mig hit, and many editions. The
Journal is the popular Home Paper
and is read by the great purchasing
class, consequently carries more
ads than any other Twin City
daily. The quality Of it's circula-
ton is unequaled, consequently
advertisers get returns, and it isthe
only daily all the merchants adver-
tise in.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

Somebody who forgets tc sign his name
Uncle Loren for voting against the canal
BILL Mr.. Fletcher is entitled to an
opinion of his own on that matter, isn't
he? 1t isn't often that he does a thing
like that.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
COULDN'T TELL.

First Chinaman--And which OF the
Christian sects do you prefer?
Second Chlnaman-Why how can tell?
I have only had time to examine the doc
trines Of forty seven OF them!
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
Handicapped by a Name.

Judge Crane in the county court In Brook
Ign granted permission to-day to Mrs. James
Clark Dryden Fftzsimmons to change her
name to Simonds after Feb. 9. The petitioner
lives at 1914 Hicks street. In 1898 she got
an absolute divorce from Mr.. Fitzsimmons
and permission to use her maiden name. She
has six children. whom she says are held up
to ridicule by school children who refer to
them as the little .'Fitzes'' and In con-
temptuous manner say they are the children
Of bob" Fitzsimmons. The petitioner says
that she understands that Fitzsimmons IL a
pugilist.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

Kellar, probably the greatest living ma
gician, opened a weeks engagement at the
Bijou yesterday. introducing many novelties.
A review Of his performance will appear in
this column tomorrow
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

A Chicago man claims in court that the
dentist stole lis wife's affections while filling
her teeth. A person may love her dentist
but how can she do so when he is filling her
teeth. 49, ...----
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

The city of Blagovestchensk in Asiatic Rus
STA is enjoying a boom. 1t sounds as If it
were enjoying a sneeze.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

tectives in the case, said that he had not
heard of that story, but that it might be
true. Donohue was arrested for getting
small sum for alleged express charges on a
bogus package which he sent to Miss Grace
Emerson of 26O West Fifty-seventh street.
KOnors for DIR. Cuy1er.
A reception was given to Rev. DR.. Theodore
L. ECuyler recently by the National Temper
ance society. DR.. Cuyler has just celebrated
his eightieth birthday, and he is the recipient
of many congratulations on his long and
full life. He is still able to do large amount
Of work His public engagements are many,
and his writings still more numerous. Ht3
publications include twenty books and over
1900 contributions to periodicals. More than
20O,0O0O00 copies of his sermons and essays
have been printed. Il have been a very
happy man. he said the other day.
The Erie Canal.
= On the principal that half loaf Is better
than no bread, the friends Of the Erie canal
are disposed to accept Governor OdelPs latest
recommendations as to canal legislation. They
want the 1000 ton barge canal, but the most
Governor Odell will favor is the deepening of
the canal to nine feet, the frightening Of the
locks and the Strengthening of the canal az 4
total approximate cost of s2s, 100000. While
this is not what the canal men would like to
can hope to get, a: least for the present, and.
moreover, even this is better than the gov
ernor would. grant year ago. There were
conferences on the subject at Albany. What
ever bill is passed by the legislature it will
provide for referendum to the people. They
must decide whether the state shall spend SO
much more money on the canal.
The Tunnel HORROR.
Mayor Low asked to be informed of tbs
condition Of the injured in the tunnel accident
and expressed the greatest sympathy for
them. Asked what he intended to do about
the accident he said: Investigations are
being carried on by the railway commits
sioners, the coroners and the district at
torney. The lesson of the accident is evil
IDENTIFY the substitution of electricity for
steam do not see how the accident could
have been avoided under the circumstances
One of the men in the mayors ONCE said
that there existed an agreement made years
ago under which the city had the right to
name the motive power to be used in the
tunnel.
Then we must find the agreement said
the mayor.
/ President Cantor OF the borough of Man
haitian asked the corporation counsel o-day
to render an opinion as to whether the presi-
dent Of the borough has jurisdiction over such
things as tunnels Mr.. Cantor thinks that the
borough president has and IL he has Mr.. Can
tor purposes making an investigation OF the
accident of Wednesday on his own account.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

The people who make point of looking
for trouble CAM find it-even at church.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
He Disobeyed the Doctors.

He DisObeyed the Doctors.
Fred Funston played a warlike game,
He swan the rivers, too;
Then army surgeons got him down
And sawed him half in two.
And once or Undergraduates three times,
They vaccinated him,
Because they thought his chance for life
Was getting rather slim.
They gave him some newfanged dope,
They cupped him and they bled him,
A Filipino doctor said -
He thought that they d behead him.
Sick leave this hero then secured,
And sailed away for ,Frisco,@s
Although the doctors said that he
Was taking great risk, 0.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

Lizzie Miller of Chicago lost thirty pounds
after discovering that Henry Huening was
toying with her affections. The jury awarded
her $50 a pound.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

John Smyth of Marion, Iowa, has given
out a theory in the Chicago News that Dick
ems was insane and that Thackeray was a
slave of melancholia and committed sui
eide. Perhaps, there is something in this.
The theory is here submitted to candid
world that Dante was a degenerate and. that
Chaucer was lame in his English
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

'.Lost in the Desert which comes to the
Biiou next week, is a most powerful melo-
drama. The dialogue is strong and good
cast and elaborate stage setting make the
production worth seeing. The production is
the story Of. the adventures of party while
in the hands Of murderous Arabs. A feature
worthy of special mention is the fine acrobatic
work OF aSdozen dusky Arabs in the last act.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
The Nonpareil Man
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
On the Side.

The new star in Perseus is moving 10000
miles second The new star seems to be
the Office boy Of the heavens.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

Ellery's Royal Italian hand under the
leadership Of the great Creatore, will return
the first Of next week, opening a series Of six
concerts at the metropolitan with matinee
next Sunday. The reservation Of seats will
begin Thursday morning
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

This from the Willmar Republican Ga
zette, is milder, but just as Significant
State Auditor Dunn denies with accustomed
emphasis that he is candidate for governor
election IS state auditor He 'has not said,
however, that he will refuse either nomination
| If the state convention insists upon naming
him. 1t is barely possible that Mr.. Dunn
will be persuaded to accept place on the
| next republican state ticket, even though he
is not candidate.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

professor has figured it out that the
Thermometer in the sun stands at II, 1872 de-
gress fahrenheit This does not remind
one very strongly of the furnace at 6 a. m.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

The new electric light discovered by Peter
Cooper Hewitt, son of Abram S. Hewitt and
grandson of Peter Cooper, is made by cleo
trifying a gas of mercury confined in glass
tubes. 1t is asserted to give light more in
tense than either gas or incandescent lights
at one-third the cost of gas and one-eighth
the cost of incandescent lamps. While every
body feels kindly spirit for the gas man,
a steady light costing one-third as much az
his plant killer would be welcomed.
A. l.. writes T h e ourn al to ask, ''If
you put fish weighing twenty pounds into
twenty pounds of water, will they together
weigh forty pounds and if so why?" D
Yes they will. (2) Because 20 plus 20 equals
40,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13

Bob Dunn's positive declaration that he will
not be a candidate for governor has given
the anti-Van SAINT element a severe pain
They had high hopes of Bob, and, in their
grief and disappointment, vow they will nom
mate Dunn anyway, and make him take it.
The Bemidji Pioneer about as outspoken a
Hill paper as any in the state, puts it with
more force than elegance in the following:
Bob Dunn, the bald headed fool, says he is
not a candidate for governor But, big fool
as he is, he will be nominated and elected in
place of Van SAINT The boys will cram
it down his burned old throat. Sit down, Bob
sit down.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
ADJUSTMENTS
Foyer Chat.

opened at the Metropolitan last night to an
overlooking house and gave one of the bright,
snappy performances for which this organiza-
tion IS noted. A review of the performance
will appear in this column to-marrow.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
The Hokah Chief presents the other side
of the MIXTURE lttinec it follaurS

The Alexandria Post News is drawing in
spiration from the ST. Paul Globe. Verify,
mergers make strange yoke-fellows.
The Elbow Lake Herald says, commenting
on Dunn's withdrawal, that ]. F. jacobson
name. in Dunns place would add great
strength to the republican ticket.
Charles B. Cheney
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-13
Daily New York Letter

tectives in the case, said that he had not
heard of that story, but that it might be
true. Donohue was arrested for getting
small sum for alleged express charges on
bogus package which he sent to Miss Grace
Emerson of 260 West Fifty-seventh street.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
SHERIFF'S SALE.
Georgia, Irwin County.

Georgia. Irwin County
Will be sold before the court house door. ut
IrWinville, in said county, within the legal
hours Of sale on the first Tuesday in Nov,
1902, at public cutlery to the highest bidder
for cash, the following described real es.
tate, to-wit
1893 acres Of lot of land number 9l9 in the
9th land district of said county, bounded as
follows: Beginning at original northwest
corner running to original line east 15s poles,
thence south IA poles to stake or corner.
thence west 1871 poles to a stake or corner
thence north on original line IA poles to q
point of beginning. Also 494 acres of lot of
land number 49, in the 9th land district of
said county, described as followes: Begin.
ming at the north east corner running origi.
nal line west l42 poles to stake or corner
thence south 1sO poles to stake or corner
thence east IA poles to a stake or corner on
original line, thence north on said original
line 1874 poles to beginning point
Levied on, and to be sold as the property of
Ebert Fletcher, deceased, to satisfy one su.
perior court Fl. ia. issued from the Superior
court of Irwin county in favor of the White
Sewing Machine Co, against E. ], Oliver,
Principal, VIM, Branch and Ebert Fletcher,
security. Property pointed out by plaintif's
attorney. Sentence notified this October. It'll
1902. Levy made and returned to me by j, Ii,
Russell, Deputy Sheriff.
lO-!0-t4 WARREN FLETCHER, Sheriff,
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
G corgia, Irwin County.

Georgia, Irwin County.
Will be sold before the Court House door at
lrwinville, in said county, on the LIST Tuesday
in November, 1902, at public outcry to the
highest bidder or bidders for cash. the follow
ing described property. under and by virtue
OF an order issued by the Ordinary of said
county, October, 9Th, 1902. to wit: Those
three certain tracts of land containing ten
acres each more Or less, being embraced
within lot ofland number 66, in the third dis
trict of said county, and known az ten acre
tracts numbers 254s. 2547 and $3.50 of the lands
in said county surveyed and plated nv the
American Tribune Sildiers Colony Company.
q plat of which is on file In the Office of tie
Clerk of the Superior court of said county:
also those three certain tracts of land con.
tanning ten acres each, more or less. being
embraced within lot of land number 29s i'm
the 4th district of said county. known as ten
acre tracts numbers POSI-. 2US2 and oOS3 of the
lands surveyed and plated as aforesaid.
Said property will be sold as the property of
the estate of Robert Compton, deceased, for
the purpose Of paying the debts of said de-
ceased and making distribution among his
heirs at law. This October. 9th, 1902
s, NJ. WHtTCHARn,
Administrator of the estate of Robert
Compton. deceased 1n-tn-t
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
DIR. D. F. THOMPSON
SPECIALIST,
Chronic and Nervous Diseases,
TumOrs, Cancers, Etc.

nave aoded to my already we'll
equipped offices another Static and
A'Ray' and Violet ray outfit; also
thermal apparatus of the latest de.
sign. Having just completed anoth.
or course in Electro Therapeutics
am better than ever prepared 70
'r'a1 all Chronic and Nervous Dis.
cases. Goitre, Tumors, Ulcers, Can.
GERS Lnpis, Eczema, Constipation,
Files, Flssure, Fis'ula, Rheumatism.
Stiff Joints, etc., etc.
OFFICE HoURs-s a. m, to 5n M
CONSULTATION FREE
omce NOS. g. and 5, Twyman Block,
Cor Central Ave. and Main st.
FITZGERALD GEORGIA,
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31

Georg1a-Irwin County.
To whom it may concern:-
G. Clements having in proper form applied
to me for permanent letters Of Admtnistra-
ton on the estate of D. E. Glenn
ents, late of said county. this is to cite
all and singular the creditors and next of kin
of D. E. Clements to be and appear at my office
within the time allowed by law, ard show
cause, If any they can, why permanent Ad-
minfstration should not be granted to G
Clements on said estate.
Witness my hand and official signature,
this the 9Th day of October, 1902
1O-1O-t4 J. J. LEE, Ordinary.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS

Georgia, Irwin County.
Notice is hereby given to all persons hold
ing demands of any kind against Robert
Compton deceased, or his estate, to flo the
same with ne properly made out and verified
as IT quired by law within the time allowed
by law. All persons INDEBTED to said estate
are required to make immediate settlement
of the amounts due. This October 9th, 1902.
s. M. WH1TCHARD,
Administrator of the estate of Robert
Compton. 1Q.l0-4
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31

We will club the Daily Atlanta
News with the Enterprise at
$3.40 per annum.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31

Georgia, Irwin county.
uNotice is hereby given that F. G. g. Paulk,
administrator of estate of James Paulk, de-
ceased. has applied to the undersigned
for leave to sell the land belonging to said
estate for the purpose of distribution
Said applicator will be heard at the regular
term of the court of Ordinary for said county
to be held on the first Monday in November
1902
This 9th day of October. 1902.
1n-l0-t4 ]. J. LEE. Ordinary.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
GEoRGIA-lRwIN COUNTY:

GEORGIA-lRwIN COUNTY:
Notice is hereby given that John McMill-
an. administrator of estate of Archibald Mo-
bley. deceased. has applied to the under
signed for leave to sell land belonging to
said estate for the purpose of paying the
debts and making proper distribution.
Said application will be heard at the regular
term of the court Of ordinary for said county
to be held on the first Monday in November.
1902.
This 9th day of October, 1902.
1G-10-t4 J. J. LEE, Ordinary.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31

Making total Of 81 cents on each $10O- taxa
able property of the county for said year, for
all county purposes.
1t is further ordered. that the tax collector
of said county collect the same while collect.
ing the state tax for said year. and turn the
amount over to the county treasurer as di.
rected by law, provided he files with the I'M
dersigned the proper bond with approved
security before beginning the collection
thereof, which bond is hereby fixed at s4O,OUO
This Oct 9Th, 1902.
E. R. SMITH, Chm.
JACOB DoRMlNEY,
L. r. TUCKER, Clerk.
County Commissioners
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
GEORGIA, IRWIN COUNTY:


Notice is hereby given that L. P. North ad-
ministrator Of estate of Lizzie Thompson. has
applied to the undersigned for an order
granting leave to sell the land belonging to
said estate, for the payment of debts and
making proper distribution of said estate
among the heirs and distributors
of said estate. Said application will be
heard at the regular term of the court of Or
binary for said county, to be held on the first
Monday In November, 1902.
This 1st day of October, 1902
10-l0-H J. J. LEE, Ordinary.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
ADMINISTRATORS SALE.

Georgia, Irwin county.
By virtue Of an order of the court Ordinary
of said county will be sold at public out-crE,
on the first Tuesday in November, 1902, at the
Court House in said county, between the legal
hours of sale. the following real estate situa-
ted in Irwin County, to-wit:
Five acre tract, number 929 Of the Colony
domain. This October list, 1902.
w. E. Booker, Administrators of R. W. Fish
er, deceased. 1n-1,l-t4
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
Georgia, Irwin County.
To all whom it NAV concern:

To all whom it may concern:
Job Sessions having in proper form applied
to me for permanent letters Of Administra-
ton on the estate of j N. Sessions late of
said countythis is to site all and singular the
creditors and next of kin of ]. N. Sessions to
be and appear at my Office within the time
allowed by law, and show cause, if any they
can. why permanent Administration should
not be granted to Job Sessions on said estate.
Witness my hand and official signature.
this 9th day Of October, 1902.
10-10-t4 j. ]. LEE, Ordinary.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1902-10-31
Georgia, Irwin County,

Georgia, Irwin County,
Office of County Commissioners of said coun-
ty
For the purpose OF raising funds to meet
the public expenses of said county for the
fiscal year 1923.
1t is ordered that the following rate be and
the same is hereby levied upon the taxable
property of said county, as shown by the tax
digest for the year 1902, to-wit: