The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-07-13
Mangted in a
Merqenthaier

I "s ~ p
S Mergenthaier 5.
Another candidate for meanest man
has bobbed up. He stole the cash reg
lister on the Bethel boat.
Ellen M. Stone did not wear veil
IN Bulgaria, and yet she was kidnaped.
John Alexander Dowie isn't exactly
a literary man, but he is admittedly
a leading contributor to the gayety Of
nations.
Do you notice how the umbrella Of
commerce, vintage of 1902, stays right
at the front of the procession?
What, Mr.. MergenthaIer, do YOU re-
gard as the solidest book of the year?-
Ernest X. M.
If you mean the heaviest and the
dryest, / should unhesitatingly award
the palm to the bulletin Of the Inter-
national Bureau of American Repub-
lies. If you mean strong in a literary
sense try Gertrude Atherton's '"The
| Conqueror."
Possibly there are no more liars in
Minneapolis than in any other Amer
lean city of its size, but the Flour City
any other city the past few weeks
proving their title to positions in Class
A.
Mr.. Cleveland sends his compliments
| to Mr. Bryan, calls him a mountebank,
| hangs up his telephone and announces
| the incident closed. Mr.. Bryan replies
| that he will think of something mean
| er than he has yet said to put into
the next issue of the Commoner Mr.
Watterson-but where does he get off
in this controversy?
If you really must "wet your whis-
tle," please do it with rain water. We
get fresh supply of that every day.
| In the meantime James A. Tawney
| is not wavering hair. He is for
James A. Tawney first, last and all
the time, even if the Cubans starVe.
Pretty soon somebody will be calling
that Louisville baseball team selfish.
! Great Britain is now trying to give
US few islands in the West Indies
| Tor port in Alaska. What John Bull
| is really trying to give us is the gaff,
but he wants to do it in such a way
that we will think we are getting the
glad hand.
|
the same place. Johnstown doesn't be-
| lieve it.
The switching of a word sometimes
makes all the difference in the world.
Mr.. Bryan says David B. Hill is a still
Democrat. Mr.. Hill merely announces
he is still Democrat.
The man who was going to exter-
inmate the mosquito by pouring oil on
all the water around has quit for the
season. He didn't expect so much
water.
See the bouquets flying through the
air. Mr.. Morgan says of the kaiser,
| He's great man for fact" The kali
ser says he admires Mr.. Morgan. ZweI
bier!
Sometimes Uncle Sam drives a
bargain like a lobster. He has sold
a Sandy Hook gun plant for $4,000
which cost 100000.
Really, though. wouldn't you like to
be the ice man this month?
Gold Heels ought to have a gold bril-
die, too.
Anyhow, Gov. Van SAINT is not run
ming well at Cannon Falls.
The announcement that Nat Good
win and Maxine Elliott (Mrs. Good
| VIM are to star apart next season
leads many people to wonder if anoth-
er Robert Tabor-Julia Marlowe kind OF
a separation is to develop from it.
Then, perhaps. a coronation in Au-
gust will be more august affair.
1t is announced that New York has
cat curse. New York, also, accord
ing to common report, has ninety nine
other curses, so it ought not to notice
this feline addition.
Missouri is talking ABOUT making
asparagus its state flower. What is
the matter with the tall, substantial,
Sombre mullen?
President Harper, Of the University
of Chicago, must be afraid Triggs is
going to spring something new. Harper
has delivered an address advising pro-
fessors not to get sensational in their
talks to students.
When Aguinaldo gets over to the
United States it is understood Gen.
Funston will not be on the committee
of reception.
They do say that Pierp Morgan's
check book is talking at Berlin.
Corn, let it be remembered, has
broken the high-jump record for 1902.
That Minneapolis jury came pretty
! close to saying to Chief Ames: You
are not guilty, but don't do it again"
An eyeless fish has been found in a
California oil we'll LAO rect deep. He
is in no way related to the eyelesS
fish" who have lately been buying
Texas oil stock more than LAO feet
from any oil.
Boston is going to shut off the water
at Helena, Mont. That won't worry
Helena much, as it only drinks water
afterwards, and very little even then.
Perhaps, after all, Edmond Rostand
has suddenly remembered that he did
steal the play of Samuel Eberly Gross,
of Chicago. At any rate, Mr.. Rostand
has withdrawn his petition to reopen
! the case.
When all is said and done, Mary
MacLane is refreshingly original She
says she is going to study chemistry
and play golf at college.
William Clark, the famous thread
maker, is dead, but presumably his
thread will so on unwinding forever.
Presumably Ray w. Jones will get
out in the next few days and tell the
! up North. If he sticks close to the
facts 1t will make interesting reading.
Carrie Nation calls Dowie "an in