The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-08-24

of "a Double Barreled Detective
Story" is told by the London Publish
| ers' Circular One day, while Mark
| Twain was connected with publishing
house, he went into bookstore in New
York, and, picking up volume, asked
| the price. He then suggested that as
| a publisher he was entitled to fifty per
cent. discount. To this the clerk as
scented. "As 1 am an author" proceed
ed Mark sit would appear that I am
again entitled to fifty per cent. dis
l count. Again the clerk bowed And
as personal friend of the proprietor"
| the humorist modestly continued, Il
presume that you will allow me the
usual twenty-five per cent. discount"
| Once more the salesman managed to
| produce an impressive bow. We'll,
| drawled the unblushing speaker, "un-
der these conditions / think L may as
| we'll take the book What's the price?"
The clerk calmly took up his pencil
and began to figure industriously. Then
he announced the result with the great
est obsequiousness. "AS near SIS can
calculate" said he, eve owe you the
book and about S515 cents. Call again"
zone day during the busy Christ
mas season, when every moment was
precious" said a bank teller, 10 the
New York Times representative, "a
woman presented her paSSbook and
asked to have her money, which
amounted to 5000.
II always endeavor to save needless
work, and thinking that she intended
making a payment to some one who
would only redeposit the money, ask
ed her If she intended handling all the
money over to one person; IL so.
check marked good would answer her
purpose as well as the cash, besides
saving labor.
"Crushing me with one disdainful
look, she replied:
:" I wish the money
1.-The money was duly handed out In
ten-dollar bills. After spending some
fifteen anxious minutes in her efforts
to count the money, all the while lick
ing her fingers regularly, she handed
it back to me, all mixed up, with the
remark:
81 wish to leave this with you
again; 1 just wanted to see If it were
all here
Every year the operation is repeat
ed, but l was made ready for her.
The next time I handed her six one
hundred-dollar bills. Much to my con-
fusion and complete discontinue, she
returned them, saying: 1 want those
tens l left you
"She got them"
: The newly created duchess of Ham
! ilton, shares with her predecessor, Su-
san, "the Beckford Duchess love
; of peafowl Some splendid peacocks
are just now displaying their gorgeous
plumage in the home politicies at
Hamilton palace. A humorous little
story about peacocks used TO be told
by Duchess Susan of her girlish days
at Fonthill abbey. Her father
"vathek" Beckford, amused himself by
learning and practicing the shrill cry
of the birds. He noticed that when
peacock on one side of the gardens
shrieked another on the opposite side
always shrieked in def1nance. One
morning, pretty sure that he had
learned his lesson correctly, he lid be-
hind a cedar tree and gave his pea
cock cry. To his huge delight an an
swering scream came from the other
side of the house. Triumphantly he
entered the breakfastroom and re-
counted his performance, saying glee-
fully to his daughter: And, Susan,
the other peacock answered mel"
Instead of congratulating him the
girl laughed wickedly
at is a more difficult thing to do
than you suppose" he said in dudgeon.
Just you try it yourself. l have been
practicing 1T in the old gunroom, out
of the birds hearing, for week
Laughing yet more heartily, Miss
Rockford gasped out: Clever pape
1 heard you in the gunroom-and
was the peacock that answered your
A much travelled man in speaking
of the way in which women walk an
nounces that without doubt the go-
men of Baltimore have the most COR
rect carriage and most graceful walk
of any in the world. AS Baltimore
has long held the palm for the beau
ty Of her women, this will be another
feather in her cap. This same man,
WHO is q Londoner of exalted social
| xuaa a Ok Va
he attributed the social success of
| American women. He answered that
the causes were Splendid dressing,
self-possession and freedom from shy
ness and a superlatively good eduea-
| ton.
On the beach, says Clara Belle in
the Cincinnati Enquirer, Fuddles had
| Arabella nearly buried. tits aston
! ishing." he said, patting sand about
her ears, how heavy sand Is. You
could not move now, unless some one
took some of the sand off. There are
several pounds on your arms and
| you that you don't realize the heavi-
ness he explained. She tried to lift
her hands and the pink color came in
her cheeks from the effort.
II guess / can move my feet" she
protested stoutly, but the color deep
| eneu WHen she LTleu. 30 dDl COIL
pletey helpless?" she murmured.
Completely" said he, land 1 have
been so long covering you that every
one has gone to dinner, so you could
not even call for help" She looked
adorable her brown rosy face rising
from the gray sand mound that en-
veloped her.
do you remember last night on the
| piazza?" she asked softly
Els face darkened. "As II I ever
could forget it," he replied. Don't
humillate me further. / learned my
lesson / hope. You said you would
he checked. and dull flame darkened
his brow-"you said you would
| scratch-my--eyes-
There was a pause. The sad sea
waves exchanged jokes. Then she
spoke again. and her voice was scarce
ly a whisper. "I-I-couldn't-now
could II"
And she didn't.
"A Notification .--He-"I s'pose