The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1902-12-31

lnlng Oeionglng TO you. LII Is
purely in the interests of science
"Well, you've got to troll" re-
torted the man as he took new
grip on the club in his hand and
whistled for his dog. when
mans fool enough to look for wood
chucks and wookpeckers at night
he's dangerous. Xou hump your
self out of this or I'll make it hot
for your"
my dear sir"
"Hump, 1 sayr
Mr.. Bowser humped-that is, he
got over the fence and pursued his
way along the kings highroad for
half mile and was ready to turn
into another piece of woods when
a couple of tramps came along
They were not looking for wood
chucks but for barns or haystacks.
They greeted Bowser as "Cully"
and started in to be friendly, but
Mr.. Bowser wouldn't have it that
way. He gave them the marble
heart and was pa ssing on when
their injured feelings got the better
of them and they called him
a blcated aristocrat and offered
to lick him for a cent a week
on the installment plan. He talk
ed back, as a matter of course, and
when they had passed on he lay in
the roadside ditch with his watch
and wallet gone and the woodchuok
and woodpecker question still un-
solved. The next heard of him
was when he appeared at farm
house at midnight and knocked on
the door until the farmer came
down to ask what was the matter.
81 have been assaulted and rob-
bed and left for dead on the high
way" was the reply.
Good lands, but you don't say
so" exclaimed the farmer. "Who
are you. and what are you doing
out here at midnight?"
"My name is Bowser. 1 came
out to see if woodpeckers and
woodchuoks started for the south
at night"
What" shouted the farmer
as he raised his gun. Now, you
git out o this. and be quick about
it! I've had two gold bricks work
ed off on me within year, but I've
got my eyes opened at last and |
can't be taken in again. You must
think I'm greener than grassr'
"Do you know if woodohucks |
migrate by day or by night?" ask
ed Mr.. Bowser as he hung in his
tracks.
No; durn me if 1 do. but 1 know
that if you amt outside that fence
afore 1 count ten I'LL"
Mr.. Bowser was outside, and the
farmer and his wife and son follow
him for half mile as he still head |
ed out into the coun try. Mrs
Bowser didn't go to bed at 10l
O'Clock nor at IL nor at midnight.
She heard the bells strike l, 2, 3, 4. |
From 4 to 3 and 6 she con suited |
with two policeman and three |
neighbors Soon after Z O'Clock |
she started man out in search
He was gone for hours and when
he returned he reported that no
clew could be found beyond the
farm house where Mr.. Bo Gser had
been menaced with a shotgun. In
his search he had discovered wood
ohucks and woodpeckers, but no
Bowser.
The next mornings papers con.
tanned the following notice, and
Bowser, who had dragged himself
home an hour before daylight and
been put to bed by Mrs Bow
ser. read the notice two days later
and said not word.
Missing From House Man
named Bowser. Was last seen on
the Ten Mile road at midnight on
Tuesday night. Is short and fat
and bald. headed. Temper rather
hot. May possibly be discovered
in some bit of forest looking for
woodchucks and wookpeckers
Should be handled gently and word
sent to his distressed wife at once.
lie he contends that he has discov-
cred that woodchucks and wood.
peckers don't migrate at all during
the cold weather, don't dispute him.
Any expense incurred in his CAP
ture or keep will be promptly re-
funded. If Gagged, see that the
bars of the same are secure before