The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-02-16

ms NdSSdE Stil4pIS AidNS oAAlANN N--
following class yell:
With a be vo and a bi vo
And n be vo vi vo bum
Bum. bum.
Get Il rat trap
Bigger than n cat trap,
Cannihals. cannibals,
Bum. bum.
S'ss. boom. bah!
President Taylor,
Rah, rah. rah!
| Yet in all human probability most OF
| those girls will some day be mothers-Ex-
change.
No comparison.
"po YOU think a young man has as good
a chance IL get wealthy rs hh had twenty
years ago.
."rhat isn't a reasonable question:" an
| swered the multihillionaire. Twenty years
| ago there were no people whom l should
| consider wealthy. washington Star.
Judicial Differentiation.
D,pper (at waysiie TAVERN: That was
Judge Close. who Just took n solitary at the
bar; know him. l SUPPOSE?
TTrper: "Oh. fairly we'll"
thinner. "ExactinG fellow: I owed him a
! email bill at one time, and being tied up at
! the time I went TO him for a little IN
| diligence. and he wouldn't even we me
| thirty days"
Hardcase Gnterposing): "Dxcuse me. gen.
| tlemen. but I had a little different eN,
! perience: I didn't owe him anything ana
he gave me seven years.'-Boston courier
what. Fosdick! Surely you are not
| swearing so soon after making your Ne"
Years rcsolutions?
well. what makes all the trafesmen
| send in their bills on the first OF the month!
In January they ought TO walt until the
cnd."-Detroit Free Press.
Lady Visitor: "An was your husband
| good and kind to YOU during your long Ill
Eoss?'
Parishioner: 'Oh, yes. miss. e Just was
| kind; e was more like 4 friend than a
d."-London Tailor.
Have you named the haby?' asked the
admiring neighbor.
Not vet said the proud young mother,
Were going to christcn him sunday
pear me, What an odd name. I'd al
most as soon call him after Robinson cru
soe's man Friday and be done with IT.
Chicago Tribune.
Directory Man: What is your occupa-
tion?"
Mr.. Jones: II nm n waiter
Directory Man: Where enployed?'
Mr.. Jones: "Oh right here at home. You
see, must wait until all the .boarders nave
acknowledgements News.
Merritt: "A man is as old "a he feels.
Cora: How about a woman
Merritt: she is generally as old as other
people feel she is.'-Smart Set
Mrs. MuG-lns: Your husband seems Ike
n man with an iron WILL
Mrs, Buscins: "A pig iron ~will.'-Phila-
dclphia Record.
"I4,dv., said Meandering Mike. would
,,, ,;,, d, -ta-vip' man SDmptlin' to pat''
.'Perhara. hut you are not starving
a know it. lady. But an ounce of pre-
! vcntion Isl worth a pound of cure. amt itY'
Washington star.
Young Wife: II am all run down. / think
III hire a cook and husband my strength
Husband: Yes. DO, dear. and strengthen
your husband. "-Smart Set.
81 sec that some English doctor. or some
| thing, says that we are developing into a
legless race"
Easy. what's the matter with a steam
boat race? At the same time, 1t looks as
If a legless race would be a great boom for
politics.
How SOP
Everybody would be going on the
stump."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He: Don't take me too seriously"
She: Yes. l will; a compliment makes
one feel good even when one knows It is
only fla~ttery."-Detroit Free Press.
The rumor that a syndicate of American
| theatrical managers has engaged King Ed
ward and the English nobility to give a
second production of the coronation cerc-
monies in New York next season is denied
In Ensiand.-Syiacuse Herald.
Mrs. Growells; My husband is %continu-
ally quarrelling about trines.'
Mrs. Howells: Well. my dear. the less
one has to quarrel about the better."-Chi
cage News.
Hub: You call Boston slow. and yet we
spent St per capita for postage stamps last
year. while New York spent only s. per
capita"
Gotham: We'll. we can't always wait for
a letter to get there: We telegraph
Yonkers Statesman.
Celia: 81 came as near marrying tina,
man as any man l ever knew"
Gladys: Lord Heartworthy! oh, my
dear. do tell mo about it. What happened? -
Celia: He never asked me."-Century
Magazine.
Pooh" said Daisy. scornfully; the Idea
of your being afraid of a poor old house
dog Why. he eats out of my hand"
Il don't doubt it, replied Burroughs, du.
biously. But what l I'm afraid Of is that
he might take a notion TO eat out of my
leg."-Smart Set.
Head of Foreign Missionary Bureau:
Where would you prefer to locate as a
missionary
Young Missionary: We'll. II possible,
where the natives are vegetarians."-
Brooklyn Eagle.
First New York Crook: II suppose YOU
found things lively in Oklahoma City?"
Second n y q aaDt YES While / was
trying to bunko a hayseed he picked my
pocket and before | could complain to
the police l was sandbagged by the Bishop
of the d!ocese."-Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Browne: and who is the President
of your club now, Mrs. Malaprop!
Mrs. Malaprop (proudly): Il am the pres
emf pcumbropca inst