The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-18

One of the most enjoyable events Of
the season, as the society editreSs
would say, was the midnight dinner
which took place last evening at the.
Windsor hotel. The banqueters We're
members Of the Windsor Bachelors
club. Covers were laid for ten.
Primarily the little function was a.
wake" over the first deserter from
the ranks. The recalcitrant who had
turned traitor on his fellows was DR..
George Coon. who was married re-
Gently to Miss Nelson. His absence
was marked by a lonely empty seat at
the farthest and darkest corner Of the
table, a glass turned down before it
and a broken plate, beside which re-
posed the cold remains of half
smoked Havana.
On the stroke of IL the company
arose and with due solemnity raised
glasses in silence to the dear depart
ed" Then followed the opening ode:
20 Why Did He Do 1t, o Why?"
Acting as postmaster and chief
mourner of the occasion, with the title
of undertaken" William P. Hayes then
announced that as one member of the
club, which dates back nearly twenty
years, had fallen from grace, it was
now incumbent on the survivors to de-
clare themselves truthfully as to their
right to longer remain members in
good standing of the Windsor Bach
eors' club. A full and complete con-
fession from each one was in order
and reasons must be given which
would show beyond peradventure of a
doubt, that there was no earthly pos
s;hility of ever patching up the shat
tered cardiacal organs of the members
to the extent which would allow them
to commit matrimony.
Hayes 'Fesses Up.
r Being ringmaster of the gathering
it fell to Mr.. Hayes himself to start
the ball relling, SO thus he spoke:
"'Twas fifteen years ago that was
confirmed to bachelorhood. It's sad,
sad story he continued, rolling his
eyes toward the ceiling as though he
saw there pictured the face Of her
who had checked his matrimonial in
clinations. "She was as fair as tiger
lily, she was as
Hold on there, Bill, tiger lily's
yellow with black spots"
mo Interruptions, please, I guess 1
ought to know what she looked like.
Her image is craven on my heart
"ShoW up, show up"
"Csive up Exhibit No. 1-graven i'm
ose on the heart"
Gentlemen, were this a clinic I
might. You are privileged to cut In
orally but I must respectfully decline
to permit any cutting in with the Ian
Get AS 1 say the lady who was re-
sponsihle for my determination never
to enter the matrimonial state was as
handsome as a South sea pearl"
wis it Lilioukalani?'
Full of Prunes and Spinach.
II insist on silence. But to con-
tinue: Her father owned a spinach
farm and q prune ranch in California.
Nesting in the valley of the Yosemite,
in the shade of the giant redwoods,
the parental rooftree meath which was
born ard bred my
The expression of surprise and hor-
ror on the faces of his listeners caused
the speaker to pause short. Tremb-
lingly one of the bachelors arose and
steadying himself by bearing on the
back of his chair, said:
"Give UP the name Of the parent!
Tell us again it was a prune ranch!
Was it, but his emotions overcame
him and he sank back to his seat.
A sudden light seemed to dawn upon
the other six.
Speak. man, speak" they cried, with
anguish depicted on every counta-
nance. "Tell us the name Of the prune
and spinach ranchman."
Every eye was by this time riveted
on the bearded face of Howard A.
Estes, manager of the hotel and pro-
prietor of a prune ranch in California,
who had two days before returned
from a trip of inspection to his coast
properties. But Mr.. Estes stood pat.
Il can prove an alibi," he exclaimed.
''[n the first place l didn't own the
prune ranch until thirty years ago, and
as Mr. Hayes is speaking Of an occur
renee of his youth it is easy to be seen
that the incident of which he speaks
must date back at least fifty eight
years"
At this point Chairman Hayes or
dered that the Bachelors club go into
executive session, which is the reason
why there are not here chronicled the
sad stories at first hand Of the blight
ed lives of C. M. Bell, DR.. Freeman, E.
Walsh, DR.. J. L. Rothrock, Frank
Bostwick, A. J. Rogers, Lorin II.
Hutchins, o. o. Cullen and John j.
Buckhout.
Deposit your savings with the Security
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