West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-10-02
rossua SKETCHES.
Old Zeb white Tells Of a Caatankerous
Wife and Fighting Rear.

there was n story behind H.
why. they are like 'lasses one day AN
vinegar the next I've knowed my old
woman to git np smilin from ear TO ear In
the mswnin'. an befo noon she'd bc
breakin' dishes an itchen' to pull my ha r.
a man gifts mad an gifts over IL without
maxim fuie OF hisself but when women
gits mad she's bound to carry things
through II II takes the roof of the house.
don't reckon my old woman Is any better
or any wuss than any OF the rest OF en-.
but she has kept me guessin. most OF the
time since we was married. was lust
a-thinkin' OF sunthin that happened a few
years ago. an bcin she's gone TO bed an
~on't be iistenin III tell IL TO yo..
In them days" continued the old man
as he gave the fire last poke and drop.
ped the poker, ~ she got cantankerous I
got cantankerons too. Then we'd 20 as
much as aweck without speakin TO each
other. She was proud an wouldn't give
IN. an so 'twould 60, One mawnin' In
gettin breakfast she burned her hand. an
l lahed al her. an she got mad. Then |
got mad. an she turned on me with
'zeb White I'll never speak to yo
ag'in IL live a hundred yars
Nobody kccrs whether yo' do or NOT
said |. an with that we both shct up. Not
another word did we say for days an DAYS.
though We got over bein' mad an wanted
dresdfully to make up | Ireckonod II had
been about two weeks an wus thinkin'
I'd give In and speak to her when she put
on her bunnt one AFTERNOON and picked up
baskit. I knowed she was gwln up the
mounting artcr chestnnts. an knowed
thar was big bar iurkin' ubout up thar.
wanted TO tell her. but she had her nose
stuck up an wouldn't look at me an so
didn't say nuthin"
"But you followed herr" I aucricd.
Yes: artcr awhile took down my gun
an followed her. was gwin to keep an
eye on her without her KNOWN IL. I'D
seen that bar an knowed he was a whop.
per an, full OF fight. irailcd along fur a
mile or So an then seed the ole woman
pickin' chestnuts jist ahead OF me. had
jist noticed that she was lookin powerful
mad an had the end OF her nose p'inled
skyward when that bar showed up She
heard him irampin over the leaves and
called out:
Mcbbe yo' hey followed me, Zeb. TO
make up. but I'm mad from top to bottom
an don't kecr to talk to yo'."
I was nigh choked With latin when that
bar suddenly slid in an fetched her a cuff
which sent her a rollin' ten feet away
She thought II was me, though the Lawd
knows wouldn't hev put hand on her In
anger. an she grabbed fur a club an
yelled
Znl Ito ~ III.
I'll whop yo' till yo can't craw: home to
pay fur thati'
When she got up an whirlcd about,
thar stood the bar. an a more surprised :
woman never drawed the breath OF life.
She thought she was a mile from help. with a
| fight on hand. an fur mint she looked as
II she was gwin TO run. Then she braced
up, sp on her hands. an heard her
ssyin:
1t ain't zeb, like | thought II was but
III fight yo' jist the same. Drat my hide
don't low nobody nor nuthin' TO cuff me
around that way'
Then she puched right in" continued
Zeb. an durn my buttons IL ! wasn't proud
OF her. IL that bar had ever seen woman
bcfo'. he hadn't seen no sich woman as
her. II he reckoDed he had an easy Job
on hand IL wasn't long befo' he diskiyered
his mistake. The club was stout an
heavy. an the ole woman struck with all
her might. Bimeby the bar got mad an
rushed in on her an fetched her swIpe
which rolled her over. but she was up
sg' lin like a cat. reckoned IL was about
time to interfere. fur yo can't expect
woman to hill bar with nuthn but a
club. but as riz up outer the bushes she
seed me an said;
" That yo'. Zcb Whittier WHO sent fur
yo'1'
g 4 cum along TO see the fun ! said
"Wsai. keep a-iookin. an yo'll see H..
" 'Mebbe I'd better shoot the critterY
" 'Mebbe 80 hadn't This amt any OF
yo'r fout, an you iist mind yo'r own biz
ness. When feel too tired to whollop a
bar. ri send fur yo'f
But didn't the bear take notice ofyous"
I asked.
MOT bit. Reckon he heard me. Of |
co'se but he was bound to down the ole |
woman fus,. She fout harder arter she |
knowed was thar. Mcbbe she sorier dc. |
pended on me. an mebbe 1t made her all |
the madder. Whichever way il was she |
sailed in for all she was wutb. an the way /
she dubbed that bar astonishcd me. I'd |
never stood TO fight him that way mint
After awhile he got in another cuff which
sent her spinnin an said to her:
Nancy shan't put bullet into the
varmint an end this FUSS
" Not to day. ihankee said she as she |
got up like cnt
while they was hayin' another tnssie /
looked AT that bar powerful clus said
zeb. "an' he didn't seem to be natural
critter. Deed. bnt he reminded ue OF a
dead an gone criuer named Joe Robinson.
Yes. sab. any man as had ever knowed
Joe Robinson would say his spcefit had
passed IN that bar. II was most tie same
as photograph, lie bad a wink 20 one
eye a grin on his face an his lower ilp
hung down an It was jes, ike seem Joe
Robinson himself once mo.
"And 50 you lit Out7"
No. sab ! didn't wanted 10. bu, the
mini, rir up that bar kuowed what was
arier an wsitzed up 10 me an took hold
for a wrassie used 70 wrassie with Ioc
an down him every time. but he was
different now as = bar. lie laid me
plumb on my back 10 no time. got 10
and tried II again. but " was dead easy fnf
him Why. was Jost play Thing for
him. lie throwed me down so easy that
got mad and yelled at him;
Joe Robinson I'm knowin' WHO 20 are
even " yo are = bar used 10 out6ght
ouijnmp an outrun 80 every day in tho
week an hin do II now
That's whs, said " remarked the old
man, but was made 90 wish hadnt
The bar held UP his paws an begun TO
dance around an purity soon he gin me