New-York tribune., 1902-05-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A Cincinnati drummer named Peck recently put
up at hotel in Oklahoma. the landlord of which
was the president of the School Board The land
lord who was a Jolly whole souled fellow, sug-
gested that they visit the schools the president Oh
the board first putting on long tailed coat say
ing:
She adds dignity. an then. she hides my gun
which are bad example 'afore them children.
don't approve of anybody under fourteen carryin
a gun"
After returning to the hotel from the visit OF
inspection the president of the board, now trans
ferred into landlord. said:
Peck. you're n good feller. You amt goin 10
let your light be hid under a bushel. Peck?"
NO l amt said Mr.. Peck, rather dubious as
to the compliment.
We'll l tell YOU what I'm gon' to do fer you
Ben' you're a good feller. I'm agon' t have
clean sheets put on your bed. Dad burn me
amt"
Neishborly Advice.-Mrs. NexdoreIMy, daqgh-
ter's getting to be quite an enthusiastic piano
Mrs. Pepprey-Yes; why don't you get her to join
Mrs Nexdore-Join union?
Mrs Pepprey-YeS, she wouldn't work more tnan
eight hours day at 1t then.-Philadelphia Press
Brooklyn head Of family was walking on
Sunday with his children IN Greenwood Cemetery
the especial purpose of the visit being to see the
dogwood trees. which are exceptionally hne TINS
season. In pointing out the beauties OF the foil
age the father used the word dogwood several
times Finally a little chap OF four years asked:
rs this Greenwood, papa?" Yes. Harold this
is Greenwood" was the reply. Why do you call
It Dogwood. them"
I've beer. kissing our cock
on, YOU needn't be shocked
For my wife does our cooking -,
philadelphia Record
man who was called on TO address Sunday
school In A Pennsylvania town took the familiar
theme OF the children who Knocked Elijah on his
tourney to Rethel-how the youngsters taunted the
poor old prophet. and how they were punished
when two she bears came out OF the wood ana
ate forty-two Of them. And now. children said
the sneaker wishing to learn II his talk had pro-
duccd any moral effect what does this story
show Please sir" from a little girl we'll
down in front. 1T shows how many children two
she bears can hc'ii'
No Occasion, Tor. worry.-"Its got SO now" be, be,
gan the sour locking man with 'ne DoSNe' '"a'
YOU won't md any beef trust at this shop" IN.
cash.'-tChicngo Tribune
The PHILADELPHIA Record" says: "Champlost.
the beautiful estate OF the Miss Mary Deborah
Fox. At Fern Rock for the purchase OF which as
a city park an ordinance Ia now under consideration
by the Councils is remarkable In many respects
The old dwelling which contains thirty-one rooms.
Is a curious structure In two parts. the Older or
which was built early l7io The other part.
built as addition to the original structure. was
erected least hfty years later The floors and
flight stairCaseS, Ike those In independence
Hall and tho Chew mansion. in Germantown. are
built without nails ard A curious relic OF the
substantial character of house construction in the
Colonial days. Several OF the lock plates the
doors. which OF solid silver. have been
moved but there is old closet for family plate.
with an iron lock. which would defy the ingenuity
Of modern hreproof shoemaker TO open without
n knowledge of the secret of It's mechanism. II
qurcs three unlock the teeth Of the bolts.
and they must then he h0ll apart by a spring be-
fore the door can he opened"
Mrs Iamb-We had the Joneses ct dinner to-
ia w; ~ - revar et nona n,
hat.-(Philadelpha Record
A paper in Norway recently contained the fol-
lowing advertisement: 'I. the undersigned declare
that through a regrettabe mistake, 1 circulated
the rumor that the coffee house keeper J6rgen
Henrksen had drunk a glass OF beer. humbly
apologize 10 Mr.. Henriksen for this unfounded
imputaton, OLAF F. LIEN"
Another curious advertisement appeared the
other day in English paper. 1t was as follows:
Wanted. by the advertiser. situation as plain
cook i'm small family. where the mistress is not
always at her heels it unpleasantness
then she leaves. Any lady that does this sort OF
thing need not answer this"
Advantages of atrimony.-Friend-Did you lose
anything in the Bustall Bank?
''Welli wen! II you knsw the thing was going
up why didn't you say so?"
left my wife some blank checks. She went shop
ping. ."-(New-York Weekly.
Friends played a grim joke on the Rev. r. G.
Roscamp. of KokOmo. Ind. three years ago, the
seriousness of which is just now appreciated. He
was a trip to Denver. when an acquaintance.
in a spirit of banter. gave him block of sup
posedly worthless mining stock He has now sold
the stock for 100000.
A Stern Chase.-The Youth-Yes I'm in business
for myself. but don't seem TO be able TO meet
with any success
The Sage-Nobody ever meets with business,
young man. He must overtake it.-(Philadelphia
Press.