Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
OITR MUTUAL FRTEND,

Feel me stinging-
I've just come back to WOO you,
To wake you and to chew you,
Extract a little pabulum
With sharp, incisive labium,
For I'm an awful eater
Yours truly
A. Muskeater.
New Orleans s-Democrat.
THE ORIGINAL PATENT.
Teacher-what was the forerunneR
of wireless telegraphy?
Scholar-The wink-New York Sum
GOING 10 MEET.
AS it is talked nowadays:
She-Are you going to go?
Another She-Yes. Are you going
to come for me?-Indianapolis News
SUCH IGNORANCE.
Glee Club Man-You ought to sea
a sunrise on the Pacific Ocean. 1t is
simply grand.
His Partner-Why, didn't know
the sun ever rose in the West.-Yals
Record.
EARLY EXPLANATION.
"And she married Jaggers, did sheF
Well, we'll! How on earth did that
come about?"
She-SO far as I can learn, 1t is
owing to a mutual misunderstanding.
Brooklyn Life.
A DELICATE CHOICE OF TERMS.
81 suppose those newly rich friends
of yours will entertain in society next
season"
mo" answered Miss Cayenne:
"they won't entertain. They will
amuse. Washington Star.
NOT POETRY FORSOOTH!
"Pshaw!" he said after having read
it through the second time. Il can't
see any poetry in this"
You can't" she exclaimed in sur
prise. why, look there-there's
'adown' and here's 'meseems.' Chi.
cago Record Herald.
HARD LOT OF THE FOX.
"Why is it," asked the fox, that
you always look so gaunt?'
tits all on account of the business
I'm in," replied the wolf Il always
have to keep from the door until
there's nothing left in the house to
eat. Philadelphia Press.
HIS PHILANTHROPY.
"If you had S4OO,OOO,OOO, which
would you do, start universities or
build libraries?"
Neither; I'd establish free soup
houses for educated people whose re-
fined tastes untitled them for ordinary
work. Chicago Record Herald.
HE LACKED TACT.
Nellie wrote a lovely poem to
Mabel.
Belief know. but she got mad and
tore 1t up.
Nell-The idea! Why?
Belle-He headed It Lines on
Mabers Face. Philadelphia Record.
HE ENJOYS 1T.
Borem-You can't find a man any.
where who enjoys joke better than
| do.
BiRkins-Guess that's right. I've
heard you tell the same old joke TWEEN
ty times, and you laughed every time
you told it-Chicago News.
MONOTONY.
"You ought to have a change OF
scene" said the physician.
"But, my dear sir" protested the
patient, Il am a travelling man by pro
fession."
well, that's the point. Stay homs
awhile and see something besides hO-
tel rooms and depots. Washington
Star.
A GENIUS.
There goes a great genius!" ex.
claimed the Georgia citizen, as a tah
figure slouched by
"Novelist?"
mo, but he reads all the novels the
other fellows write"
You call that 'genius'?"
well If it amt exactly genius, it's
the patience Of it."-Atlanta COnstitu-
tion.
HER REGRET
did you see the trained animal ex'
hibitiOn?"
Il did" answered Miss Cayenne.
did you enjoy it?'
''No. Such things always give me-
a certain impression of sadness. When
l see what can be done in educating
dumb brutes cannot understand why
more human beings cannot be moved
to display of intelligence. Wash
ington Star.
HIS ALTRUISM.
Maud newly married) You look
very melancholy, George. Are you
sorry you married me?
George-No, dear-of course not.
was only thinking of all the nica girls