The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1902-12-12
Shopping + for
His Wife <%
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.

city,'"I want you to do few little
errands in town for me. My best
hat is at the milliner's to be fur
bished up little. and your Aunt
jenkins is liable to come any minute,
and Maggie is scalding over the pick
les, and she'll burn 'em to a cinder
if I'm not here to see after her, and
dear little Fido's eyes look as if he
might be coming down with fits, and
my head aches fit to split, and really
I don't feel as if could 60 to town
to-day, and there are some things I
must have"
''l've no time to look after a lot
of women's gimcracks," said Mr..
Hunt, contemptuously, land T." but
his wife did not allow him to pro-
coed.
ooh, James, you really must find
the time-unless you feel that your
judgment would not be good in mat
tiers of this kind. I know that not
one man in 40 knows anything about
shopping, and
"Humph!" grunted Mr.. Hunt, gulp-
oatmeal. Judgment, indeed! If I
couldn't do better thousand times
at the shopping business than any
woman, then I'd be everlastingly jig
gered! Yes, I would. I could buy
$500 worth of things while you were
getting ten cents worth of handker-
chiefs. Bah! it makes me tired to
hear so much twaddle about men not
knowing how to shop"
"Well, if you really think you
would be able to judge about these
things I want, James," said Mrs.
Hunt, automatically, for we'll she
knew that the surest way to induce
him to do thing was to imply that
he was not competent to do it, ''if
you really think you know about
them"
"Know? OF course I know. Why
shouldn't know? Any fool would
know about 'em. Fire off your list,
and be quick about it, Polly, for
I've got to get a move on"
"Let me write a list. I'm afraid
your memory isn't quite so good as
a woman's, and"
"Fol-de-rol! I can forget more in
six seconds than the average woman
can remember in lifetime" said Mr..
Hunt, as he wriggled into his over
coat and fumbled in the pockets.
"Where in the dickens are my gloves?
Strange that my gloves are never
where I put 'em! Whatever have you
done with them gloves, Polly?"
"Here they are, right in your hat.
James, and now listen to what I tell
you, and try and not make any mis-
takes. I want five yards of blue
cambria for Rosa's Henrietta dress,
and card of hooks and eyes - De
Long's-humps, you know, and some
black canvas, and two yards of tur-
key red, medium bright, and four
Yards of cheese cloth, and a paper
of needles-sixes, and some school
shoes for Tommy, 14A, and rubber
heels and no nails in the toes, and
oh, get me a jar of cold cream, and
some celery salt, and some stove
blacking-Blazerine, and"
"There's the cart" shouted Mr..
Hunt, as he dived down the front
steps, followed by his wife's persist
ent cry Of
"Don't forget two pairs of black
stockings, medium weight"
"What tom-fool mess of stuff
women do have to buy" unused Mr..
Hunt, as he settled himself in the
car, unfolded the morning paper, and
glanced over the column headed III
nancial."
As Mr.. Hunt issued from his place
of business at night, he began to try
and recall what his wife had told
him, and at the first dry goods store
he came to he rushed in, believing,
as most of his sex do, that woman
never purchases anything except at
a dry goods store.
He hurried up to the counter near
est the door, and began to reel off
his wants to the lofty-looking young
lady in attendance.
81 want five yards of red Henriet-
ia for a blue cambria dress, and some
humpy hooks, long ones, you know,
and two red turkeys, medium smart,
and cheese in q cloth, and"
"Sir," said the young woman, with
ineffable lisdain, "this is not a meat
market. It is Messrs. Pull & Shrink
ems dry goods emporium, and this
is the soap lady's department."
eyes, yes, so believe" said Mr..
Hunt, alphabetically, "but I want to
ret five red Henriettas, and pair
Of shoes for No. 1874 boy, with rub
her heels and no toe nails"
"The shoe department is on the
second floor, three sections from the
front, third AISLE" said the soap lady,
and then she added to her next
neighbor, the patent-medi"'ne lady:
"What fools men are!"
Mr.. Hunt shot away in the direc-
ton of the elevator, only to be con-
fronted with the sign: "This eleva-
tor not running. Take the one at the
rear of the store"
He rushed to the rear of the store,
81 ,x,o, told l,v tho fl0or-va1ker RI