Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1902-10-16
STORY for an
Hole Dour
Mr.. DUDLEY AND THE PAPER.

Its all thunderin foolishness!n de-
clared Grandsir Dudley, welding his
pitchfork viciously as he threw down
the hay for the cows. The amt no
eend to the plagued lies they tell now
adays. Here's teller over to the
tarvern tried to git me to believe that
trains run underground in the place
he come from. Says |, L hain't so
green as | look, young Teller. Ell
man should ride underground the
length o time you tell for, he'd be
deader n door nail afore they got
him out 1t knocked him stiffer'n
mitten; he didn't say no more. He's
wuss'n Dan Paige talkin' into that
wooden scoop with a string to it in
the post-office, and thinkin' they can
hear him in New York. allus did
say Dan was too big a fool to be post
master. Now this here about havin' a.
newspaper in Wingville-it's all bald
erdash; it can't be done, tell YET"
Grandsir stuck his pitchfork into
the haymow with unnecessary force
and glared down at young man who
was standing in the middle of the
barn floor, having just entered by the
great doors at the front. The new
conner was a harmless-looking youth
with family businesslike air about
him which seemed to be due solely to
the pencil behind his ear. Take away
the pencil and you had left merely
sam Wiston, who had worked in the
Dudley hay fields many day. Grand
sir, who was realist with an imagi-
nation not to be fired by outside ap-
pearances, declined to be impressed
by the aforesaid air. Indeed, to have
young fellow you have met familiar
ly from his babyhood in the potato
patch or the woodlot suddenly put
pencil behind his ear and declare him
self editor of prospective newspaper
is not thing to touch credulity. 1t
is almost as if duck should suddenly
founder out of the pond and announce
It's intention of singing in opera.
Il tell We, it's a sure thing. Grand
Sill" persisted Sam. "Will and / have
been over the whole ground. Wits
worked on a paper and he knows what
he's about Why shouldn't we have a
paper here in Wingville? Over to
Cranston they've got two. It will
give us 2 big lift if you'll let us put
you down subscriber"
"a what?" demanded Grandsir. with
wrathful suspicion. "I'll have the law
on We if ye go to calm me names,
Sam Wilston: You'd better go home
an plow that corner lot O. yourn-
'twon't raise nothin' but witchgrass
the way It's now"
And he steadily refused to hear any
more of the matter though Sam, made
artful by desire of a subscription.
tried to soften him by sudden dis
play of interest in the Jersey COW
that was mooing for her calf at the
far end of the tie-up. The old Jersey
was the pride of Grandsir's heart. and
he did not refuse to hold forth on the
subject of her projections, but he was
deaf on the subject of newspapers.
Sam went away looking mildly de
pressed. Grandsir's name on his sub
scription list would have had pecul-
lar value. Grandsir Dudley las the
whole town called him) represented
the conservative element in Wing
vile. He did not believe in new
things. When, in the course of the
few weeks schooling he had had in
his early youth, i've had discovered
from an examination of Ills geography
book that Peter Farley thought the
earth was round like an apple, he had
conceived a secret contempt for that
gentleman's understanding. In a dim
corner of his mind he cherished that
contempt yet. though his invectives
were now directed chiefly against
more modern kinds of folly When
he read laboriously in some stray copy
of newspaper of the latest wonders
of science, he shifted disdainfully
and wondered. as he went out TO
water his cattle. who they expected
would believe such stuff as that All
talk of submarine boats, telegraphy-
wireless or otherwise-aerial nayiga-
tion-even the telephone and the
latest feats performed by steam. was
as the rafting of peas against the
armor OF his unbelief. He believed
merely what he saw.-and what he
saw his Jersey cow, bis cornfeld.
Wingville. with it's cluster of houses
and it's one store in the square,