Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-08-26
t Wise END END
t Otherwise
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.,


He-Do you think my moustache be-
coming?
She-It may be coming, but it hasn't
arrived yet.
One consolation just now apparent
to most small boys is IN the fact that
not many weeds will have to be pulled
after school takes up.
X + Il
Little by little" the acorn said, as
it slowly hid in its leafy bed. But,
who cares for the acorn? 1t never
gave Akron any clean streets.
X T. X
"The burr is on the chestnut" This
might be a statement about nuts, and
again it might refer to a joke told by
comedian with husky voice.
X = y.
Many the harmless young gobbler
now pecking away his days in idleness
and disregard for the fact that ter
rible fate awaits him in November.
X = X
Who ever heard of a pocketbook be-
ing a burden to a man? And yet the
expression that "the victim was reliev-
ed of his pocketbook" is used almost
daily.
well, sonny, is your dog fighterT
"Bet yer life--I call i'm Upton"
"That's queer name for a dog"
mot for Lp--he never know when
i'm have enough"
Mark Hanna would probably be
neglected, if he were to drop into Ak
ron on Labor day. At any rate, he
would have to take back seat for
Jimmie" Mahoney.
X ~ X
Families are getting back from their
vacations and house," are being re-
opened. This means that times will
be easier for some cats which were
forgotten and had to forage for them
selves while the family was away.
x + X
The Mayor will soon experience one
of the joys that come to authors alone.
He will read selections from his own
writing, supplemented by suggestions
from Uncle Foxey, before the League
of American municipalities, Aug. 2S.
X \ X
Among the greater American insti-
tutions about which not great deal
is being said at present, is the mule.
This animal has been more or less
eclipsed by other things since the
close Of the Spanish American war.
1t, might be remarked, however, that
the mule Is still kicking.
X + X
An inventor claims to have discov-
cred process by which dirt collect
ed from streets can be turned into
coal. If this be true, an order Of court
should be procured at once to restrain
Mayor Doyle from keeping the streets
Of Akron so clean. He may be the
means of causing waste of tons and
tons of coal every month. A. apc
X r X
Barberton Councilmen should keen
In mind the fact that they now have
a city, not Il village, entrusted to their
care. And they should also realize
that 1t is only in backwoods villages
that Councilmen prolong their sessions
until midnight A session of Council
Is convened for the purpose OF trans.
acting business, not to give oppor
tunity to the members to test their
abilities in vaudeville.
| X y X
The following eccentricities of habit
have been noticed among Akron's city
officials: Commissioner Seybold al
ways wears two shoes, one on eacf
foot; Clerk Isbell laughs when he hears
anything that's funny; Engineer
Payne combs his hair several times Q
day; Col. NJ. W. Hoye talks fast wher
he's in hurry; Mayor Doyle always
wears necktie; Councilman Koons
likes apples.
The Columbus Press, in it's issue OF
Monday, reproduced from the Demo
crat the cartoon showing Gen. Dicks
gubernatorial railroad train on its way
to Columbus, with Messrs. Sieber and
Seese trying to lasso 1t from the track
. Under the cartoon the Press says: AK
ron Republicans do not seem to wan
much. Their modesty prevents thei,
appropriating the entire State ticke
next fall"
X = y
Mr.. o. G, Barber once made the re-
mark that he believed yellow journal
ism was more product of bad cookin,
than OF evil tendencies on the part O
writers. Some Of those New Yorl
reporters, he continued, hurry to