Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-11-12


beauty" THAT was before her father
failed"
Strappes-Five pounds for bonnet!
Madam, 1t is crime! Mrs. Swell.
the crime will be on my own head
Glasgow Evening Times
When veg gave disagreeable duty to
perform it is best to do it at once and
get 1t off your mind. Another good way
is to get somebody to do it for you.
Mrs. Meek-But how do you know
that he is married man? Did he say
lie was? Mr.. Meek-No; but he looked
sympathetic when told him was.
On the Shore: How sweet 1t would
be to live alone with you in. yonder
lighthouse" he whispered. tenderly.
Yes" she murmured. abstractedly;
'and do light housekeeping."-Sma
Set.
II asked the young woman in front
of me 10 remove her big hat so that
could see the stage" Did she do it,"
mo. she said If she held her hat in
her lap, she couldn't see the stage her
self. Tit Bits.
Knew the symptoms: Mr.. Beach,
Here is a letter from Charles. Mrs.
Beach-Read it. Mr.. Beach (reading)
My dearest, darlingest mother
great heavenus! the young scoundrel
needs money.-Tit-Bits.
Are you real indiana" asked the
investigating youth of one Of the paint
ed Indians who accompanied Buffalo
Bills Wild West Show. Sure" replied
the Indian; II was born an raised In
indianapolis, Indiana
Professional Advice: Patient-Wnat
would you advise me to do for dyspep-
STA, doctor? DR.. DeQulck-Well, II
you want 1t real bad, hire cheap cook,
and eat irregularly. Two dollars.
please. Chicago News.
A Swampton Incident: Mercy on
us!" cried the investor; "do you have
earthquakes here?" BE easy" re-
piled the land boomer; 1--WE run out o.
Qu!nine yesterday, an that's only the
town marshal n-havin' chill."-Atlan-
ia Constitution.
and what brought you to this7"
asked the good man. who was passing
through the police station. de hurry
UP wagon" replied the tough boy be-
hind the bars; did yer t'ink came
In tally-ho, wild somebody on top.
tootin' q ornY'-Chicago Record Her
aid.
Just to His Taste: How will you
have your eggs cooked?" asked the
walter. Make any difference in the
cost O. 'em?" inquired the customer.
cautiously. NO" ''Then cook 'em
with a nice slice O. ham," said he,
greatly relieved.-Kansas City Indepen-
dent.
Mame-My steady blew me Oft ter
supper at regular RESTRAINT last night.
Mag-Say, they tell me he's real refin-
ed. Mame-Dat's wat! When he pour
ed his coffee out in is saucer ter cool
1t, he didn't blow 1t like some guys
would, but jist famed 1t wild Is Pan
ANA. "-Philadelphla Press.
A golfiing magazine tells this story of
man who applied for the secretary
ship of club. you understand" said
the captain, "that we want secretary
who is thoroughly accustomed to man.
aging men," "In that case" answered
the applicant, sadly, I'm afraid It's not
me you want, but my wifs He was
bunkered.
"Music is very desirable accom-.
plishment," said Mehitabels mother.
"That's right" answered her father.
IF a girl likes young man she can
play comic. opera and make him feel
perfectly at home, and if she doesn't
she can give him few samples from a
sonata and make him weary."-Wash.
ington Star.
Mrs. Mimms Mary, 1t was spne
o'clock this morning when you got in.
l heard you. NIary-.Well, ma am, IL I
was you I'd take something to make
me sleep better. l took my shoes off
down in the kitchen and didn't make
no more noise than cat would. I've
been kind of worried about you for
good while"
An old soldier was Boosting of his
experience during the Civil War. when
he was asked: How many rebs did
YOU kill during the WARP" How many
did kill? How many did killy' re-
peatei the old veteran; well, don't
know exactly how many, but killed
as many of them as they did of me-"
Ohio State Journal.
Waiter-Hear, all you, just stop put
ting up those other orders and attend
to mine ut once. The Cook-But this
becfsteak is for a man who's just come
in on a train that WAS stuck in the snow
three days, with no supplies on board.
waiter-That's nothing compared with.
my case Why. the party's just returned
from swell banquet.
Mrs. Gruby-Ycs, I'm afraid that
Johnny is really sick. When | went
out, leaving him in the house alone,
told him not to go to the pantry and
NEEDLE with the jam. Mr.. Gruby-And
of course he went and filled himself
with it. Mrs. Gruby-No. dear; that's
the alarming thing; he didn't go near
the jam" -Boston Transcript
This is pretty good one. and the
"credit" belongs to the Tip-of-the-
Tongue man of the New York Press.
who's your friend:" Hes our credit
man" Credit man? Introduce me.
A very responsible position in big
house like yours" "Oh, he's not credit
man of the firm. He's credit man Of
our crowd our gang Of acquaintance
you understand. When any of us does
anything clever and brilliant lie claims
the credit Of it,
-=-------
Fish Flour.
One of Norway's chief industries is