davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
A Florida Disenehantment.
Electrical Age.N.

Down in Florida a few years ago, at
one of the famous summer resorts, was
a small street railroads. little affair
that did not amount TO much, but was
supposed by its proprietors to be suf-
ficient for all ordinary purposes. One
day, in the course Of a discussion, the
owners were accused Of being old fOgies
and behind the times. why don't you
get together and be up TO date2' they
were asked. You really ought to have
modern equipment for a place of this
character, instead of an old road of
mule-drawn cars that date back TO the
flood
After considerable deep meditation
and with many misgivings, the road
was ordered changed to an electric
line, and an eighty horsepower equip
ment was ordered The outfit arrived
and was installed, but for some reason
failed to operate properly. An outside
expert was then called in to examine
the plant and locate the trouble. At a
special directors meeting he reported
that the rated efficiency of the plant
was eighty horsepower, and that
eighty horsepower were being used for
the actual operation of the road. At
this one of the directors jumped up and
exclaimed eXcitedly: Eighty horse
Iower for what we used to do with six
mules? I guess we had better go back
to the mules"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
THE ROOSEVELT LABOR DRAMA,

IF SENATOR HANNA thought he was
TO have a monopoly of demonstra-
tions by worldngmen. he VIII probably
revise his opinion before Roosevelt gets
through with his present tour of the
New England states.
The first day of the presidents trip
developed a systematic plan TO show
his popularity with the wage earners.
Whereas Hanna had a cane presenta-
ton. Roosevelt had a flower design
given him and his response was even
more enthusiastic than the Ohio SEN
ator's on a similar occasion.
Both professed the profoundest SYM
patty with the toilers, both took the
tributes gracefully. But it is to be
noted that neither had much TO say
about the trusts or their relations to
labor and the Republican party. In
deed. on this point the president was
even more eloquently silent than the
senator.
judged by the political undercurrent.
it il plain that both these politicians
recognize the danger to their party
through the trust issue. and both are
determined to nullify that danger. if
possible. by q showing Of interest in
the laboripg vote which is most hostile
10 the mOnopolies fostered by Republi-
can legislation.
It was characteristic of the president
that he should pay special attention to
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
ON COMPULSORY OSCILLATION,

JUDGE GEORGE B. SIDENER of st.
J Louis, the author of many freak
decisions, has come forward with one
more which will be received with but
one opinion. In effect the Judge holds
that no man has a right to resist a
pretty woman's efforts to kiss him or
to resent the kiss after it has been i'm
planted.
One Harry Alberts was the defend
ant. Harry claims to be an exceed
insly unimpressionable young man. No
girl has ever looked good TO him and
he hasn't manifested any hesltancy
about saying so. Of course, the girls in
the neighborhood found out about Har-
rvs aversion and one of them con-
cluded to make an assault upon him.
Accordingly she waited in dark place
until he came along. Then she sprang
out and placed an affectionate kiss
upon his cheek.
Harry didn't like being kissed. al
though the young woman was peculiar
ly beautiful. He both resisted and re-
scented, incidentally using his fists and
SANAAk5 lAAC SAIA d eye. he Was
promptly and properly arrested and
Judge Sidener fined him $40. "A wo-
man has a right to kiss a man at all
times" said the court. This is a priv
ilege that we owe the opposite SEX
Privilege, say you? 1t seems to us
that the privilege is all the other way.
Solomon had more practice at wooinS
than any other man in history, yet
we find MIN pleading with the queen
of Sheba. kiss me with the kisses OF
thy mouth he begs. Poets have gone
into rhapsodies over kisses and kiss
ing; men have fought, bled and died
for them and it will take more than the
testimony of a chump like Alberts to
convince US that they aren't worth
fighting and bleeding and dying. yes,
and begging for.
The court didn't go far enough in
| the Alberts case. 1t should have or
dered lunacy inquiry Immediately, for
surely no man in his right mind would
have acted as he did. Apparently Al
berts had never heard the justly cele-
brated conundrum which runs:
why is a kiss like creation?"
Because il is made of nothing and
God knows it's good
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
ABOUT HEBREW MATcHMAKERs
The Professional Go-betweens Caus
Happy Marriages.

The happiness which = characteristic
OF Jewish marriage life Is due 10 me TACT
Jhat the great majority OF the weddings
among our people are brought. ABOUT Dy
matchmaking. either. conducted by reIa-
tives or by the professional schatchen
The love match is the stem from which
son for this should be plain 10 the
thoughtful person.
The young man and the young woman
m love are totally blinded TO one an
others defects. and. consequently, each
expects of the other perfection IN the
married life. Marriage Is an eye-opener,
and necessarily disappointment 10
Ihenl. since perfection resides N no one
QUarrelS and the divorce court follow
When relatives make the match dS IS
the custom with many of our people ana
with the DeaSantrN of France ana ire
land. this danger * overcome in great
measure: although the blood relationship
of the matchmaker is apt 10 require TOO
muen Tor the relative even Upoer L-ls l
plan. Yet, in comparison with love
matches. these unions are very happy, In
deed. as observation and reading INFORM
The ideal marriage-the one most near
" sure of result in fun. satisfying and
complete happiness-is the one in Whlch
Schatchen-the meaning OF the Woro Il
faithful messenger some one eXer-
cising that function. discovers the eX-
act suitability of the man and woman 1OT
each other and brings them together
The schatchen is the Jewish .)rofeS-
sional matchmaker. There ought TO De
such a calling among people of all races
and creeds, for its exercise IS conducive
in the highest degree 10 the success OF
the marital union and to all the comiort
and prosperity that follow from 1t
The youth and maid brought together by
the professional matchmaker OF skill are
insured against marital disappointment
The schatchen has studied and judged
fairly their temperS. temperament. char-
acter and habits. and because the success
of his calling depends on his skin a.
measured by the success Of the union, ne
is very careful not to make a mistake.
and his experience enables him 10
avoid IL.
OF course. there must be good health
and good morals; there must be industry
hhOod, and there ought 10 be a sum laid
by against illness or misfortune.
Given these conditions, the husband and
wife are Joined together without any illu-
siOnS as TO each other. there is no chance
of disappointment, heartburning and mu-
tual hatred in the days TO come
In fact, there is every reason TO believe
from the records of experience that the
longer their association in wedlOck the
more will their mutual liking grow, and
that II VIII eventually bloom into last
ing love, as ardent as that of unwedded
sweethearJs. which so often melts away
in marriage.
Day by day is experience making plain
er to those who think seriously and deep
" on the subject that the first essential
OF happy marriage is TO have the
match made by an outsider. It should be
the hope of every lover of mankind TO
see the custom grow
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24

Mayor Sullivan, the labor socialist who
has been a conspicuous figure among
New Engiand's municipal officials.
Even Hanna with his liking for the
dramatic would hesitate to offend his
friends, the trusts, on the eve of a cam
paign by such open interest in things
socialistic. Roosevelt, on the other
hand, delights in just such unexpected
displays and seems determined to keep
the captains of industry. who are the
chief source OF Republican campaign
supplies, uneasy as to what he will do
next.
Altogether. the situation among the
Republicans is exceedingly interesting.
To an outsider il looks as though
Roosevelt had determined to break
with the traditions of Republican man
ayers and appeal straight to the masses
who have heretofore had scant con-
sideration from his party II he does
this, the chances are he viii ALLEVIATE
the men who have elected his party
presidents without gaining the support
Of the masses to which he caters.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
A Terrible Accusation

Three American humorists of some re-
nown and considerable success sat down
TO 10 dlLner at the same table in New York
last Week According TO report SAYS the
Chlcaso Inter Ocean, honors were EASY
IN the exchange of wit. and the evening
wore into the night and night into daT
without suggestion of pugnacious ac-
uXlty on the part of any one of the three
rms may nave been due to the excel
fence OF the dinner. but suspicion mus.
certainly point 10 the brand of wine or
the quantity employed. If the following
todSts were given and peacefully ac-
cepted. as has been printed. The three
George AIDE:
Gentlemen said Iibrettist Smith.
you are most welcome This is one OF
the proud moments of nv life In fac+
We're there not thirtv-four reporters who
would be sure TO tattIe to nv managers
twho mold contracts for all the meIlifIu-
ent eadences that fall from my lips) l
should be constrained 10 sing:
oh. young Lochinvar came out of the
west
THROUGH all the wide border his steed
But bother his steed when il comes to
mum
Poor Loeb wasn't in it with Smith, Ado
Bully by. Harry" cried Peter the
Great Thot's what me frind Hinnessy
would call rale Doultree. so il is. An
am constrained - add me hairosthring
mite. oefoore we sit doom TO our pohteen
an pertaties. thus:
'Yis, young Lochinvar. in the days av Sir
Scott
Wild a four-flusher bluff could he take
amy pot.
But talk about bluffin'. poor Loch's Iaur-
els fade
Compared wild this trinity-Dunne. smith
and AIDE. 4"
Say, Dunno. YOU could win against
Homer in any Pegasus Steeplechase.
You're it But to show that I'm not a
lone Ham-Sandwich at a ROshashona
feast IN rease the Ante one bean:
Yes. Loeb was quite peaches and cream
in December:
But then he had never seen sick Chic, =
remember:
And while things that hail from the west
are A MYTH
They look like snide. green side of AIDE,
Dunno and Smith -
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
Shot by an Eskimo Hunter

The following is taken from the Scien-
tItic American and credited TO J. Mayne
Baltimore:
Wild geese and brants are known TO
travel. during the migratory season. very
FAR south Recently large wild goose
was killed not far from Spokane, Wash,
winch had evidently winged its way from
the remote Eskimo lands. When the
hunter picked UP the bird he was sur
prised to observe q slender piece of ivory
protrudfng from its breast Just below one
OF its wings With much difficulty he
succeeded in pulling out the piece for
the flesh had grown tightly around it.
II proved to be an arrowhead, about
eight inches long, which had some queer
carvings on the stem where il had been
fastened to the shaft The carvings were
delicate. though quite distinct On a
careful inspection by some Klondike
miners the carvings were pronounced TO
be of Eskimo origin No arrowDoint OF
that kind was ever known to have been
used by the Indians of Washington or
British Columbia. The head was of fine
ivory, no doubt carved from a walrus
tusk- Evidently the goose had been shot
BY an Eskimo hunter in the arctic re-
gions, the wound had healed, the flesh
had grown around the weapon, and in its
long flight the bird had no doubt broken
off the arrowShaft
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
How Sam Jones Was Floored.
tWashington PostO

travelling on the steamer Northum-
berland, on the Rappahannock river,
last week. said the Rev. f. B. Bagby
of the Ninth Street Christian church,
L fell in with a group of ministers
on the upper deck, and soon we were
swapping stories. The eccentricities of
the famous evangelist, Sam Jones,
proved prolific topic. The Rev. Mr..
Butts, Methodist minister from
Gloucester county. said that the only
time he had ever known Sam 10 be
disconnected was at H, Va, where he
had been called to conduct a union
revival. The first nixht of the meet
ing the pastors of the different
churches We're on the platform and
crowds filled the pews. All were look
ing for something sensational, and
were not disappointed. Evangelist
Jones arose, turned to the Methodist
preacher and said:
Brother s., how many members
nave You in your church,
Three hundred was the answer.
public?'
About a DOZEN
What is your saiary?'
Five hundred dollars
Then each minister was called in
turn and Intercepted upon the same
amount of salary received by the
ministers and the number taking pub
lie part in the service was wofully
small in comparison with the size of
the congregation.
Well said Mr.. Jones, addressing
the ministers, but with a sidelong
glance at the audience. If 1 had such
a mean. measly lot of people in nv
church, do you know what I would do?
L would get them up in d pen and send
off and get a hound dog and set him on
them, and saw: sic 'em, Tige; sic 'em,
Tige."
Excuse me- Brother Jones. said
the Methodist minister, rising and
stepping forward, but that is Just
what we have done. We have gath
cred the people together. Now, sic
EN-. Sam: sic 'em, Sam
If Mr.. Jones was not himself the
balance of the evening il was prob
aDIe mat he was thinking of the
hound dog
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
THE SMELLING SITUATION.

0THE COMING ANNUAL report of
the American Smelling & Refining
company, IL is said, viii be very dis
appointing" says the Boston News Blu
reau. 1.-THE price of silver is lower than
IT has been for many years. while the
lead business of the company has been
barely profitable" This announcement
will not cause any great amount of
sorrow among Utah miners who have
been fieeced to the limit of endurance
by this same smelter trust ever since
it's organization.
According to local mining men, the
real trouble with the trust is not the
low price Of silver nor yet the low
price of lead. The small earning ca
pacity of the corporation is due to the
fact that it will not make terms with
the producers such as will enable them
to keep the smelters supplied with ore.
The trust has not been willing to allow
the mine owners to make any money
at all over the cost of mining and the
freight charges.
AS a result, production has been cur
tailed and the smelling plants con-
NioA4tu ny tue SOulu IOl Dc
operated at their full capacity. A few
days ago the company was forced to
shut down its big plant at Pueblo be-
cause most of the ores that formerly
fed il, and which came from the mines
about Park City, have been diverted
TO the new $1,000, 900 plant in the Salt
Lake valley. Even with that change
only three of the eight furnaces here
are being supplied.
Utah mining men declare they have
plenty of ore, but they are not willing
to present it to the American Smelling
& Refining company. They say they
are entitled to a share of the profits,
and they are right. The trust is
doomed TO inevitable collapse unless
il revises its present methods. For
years it has been paying dividends on
thrice-watered stock, and the time has
come when the mine owners will bear
the burden no longer.
If the American Smelling & Refining
company doesn't want all of its plants
TO become idle, it viii adopt some meth
cd by which the producer will receive
for his ores something more than the
cost of mining and freights. Other
wise independent smeIters will spring
up all over the west and the trust will
collapse of it's own weight, an example
for all time of the evils of greed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
coLoRED GLOBES ARE PASSING
Bulbs Used in Druggists Windows
Are Going Out of Fashion.
(Philadelphia Record }


Those huge glass bulbs of red and yell
low and blue water. which are called
show bottles, are gradually ceasing to be
q feature OF the decorations of druggists
WINDOWS. In the past they were as neceS-
sary 10 every drug store as d red and
whlte pole is 10 a barber shop but they
nave not, as the pole has, well defined
All that druggists know of them is that
they have always been used as window
ornaments. The brilliant liquids that
they contain are made cheaply and plain
~ OF chemicals and water.
Thus. solution of copper and ammonia
makes blue; bichromate of potash makes
orange; aniltne dyes have of late been
used in the chemicals place, but the
liquids fade in a strong sunlight, and
nave frequently to be renewed. The Ii
guilds colored chemically, on the other
nand. last well-nigh forever.
IN the drug store at the southwest cor
ner OF Broad and Spruce streets there is
a show bottle OF very clear and delicate
shade OF green. This is green so fine
that many druggists have asked for the
recipe that makes it. This, unfortunately,
is unknown.
A clerk in the shop twenty-five years
ago colored the water and filled the bottle
and little later left for unknown parts
preserved only by a cork of cotton from
tue ar the liquid has ever since remained
as brilliant as il was in 1871
Ihere are, indeed many show bottles in
TINS city whose contents are from twenty
live to fifty years old.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
The Sultan and the Beans.
cleveland Plain Dealer.)

tGlSN6ld0Q Rldln DedIeT-)
If the report can be believed. the new
sultan of Zanzibar is fond Of Boston
baked beans but whether this indicates
esthetic lOngings or merely a lOW-grade
of Simianlike imitation il is impossible az
this distance TO saw Probably there are
Boston scientists who will study the de-
yeloDments of the sultans character as a
ruler. and If IL proves creditable We can
rest assured that the bean pot will re-
ceive fun credit
The noble sultan of Zanzibar is calling
again for his beans His ClamOr is echo
ing near and far With a terrible rumble
and rumpus and Jar, As back on his
throne he leans
The noble sultan of Zanzibar is calling
again for them hot The silence of night
gets a terrible scar His howl rises up TO
= shuddering star-And down goes the
entire lot
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
The Country Manager.

T. D. Price, a theatrical mana ger. who
sees the humorous side of most of his
experiences, has broken into recollections
again, and many of them have been pub
lished-
Among the other things he tells of an
opera house manager in Schenectady, N
Ing until long past a respectable bed
time. Arriving at the playhouse one fine
morning Gt was my first visit to the
town.. found a man on the stage en-
gagged in saving wood. says Mr.. Price.
can you tell me where 1 may find the
stage carpenter" 1 asked.
That's me-" answered the man.
And the property MANI
At night I found the same man in the
boN ofhce, and when We made up" he
Introduced himself as the manager. In
looking over his accounts l found that
many tickets had been sold at a certain
jewelry store My store he said. 4
couldn't allow anybody else to draw the
As business had been quite good, ] in
Vlted the members of my company after
the show TO the only restaurant in town
that was open at a late hour. Again the
stage carpenter-prOperty nantucket SELL
r-jeweier-manager bObbed I'D and in
formed us that he owned the eating
house
In the course of a conversation that fol-
lowed 1 remarked that they had a pretty
good orchestra in Schenectady.
L am very glad you think So" said the
stage carpenter-prOPerty man-ticket-sell-
er-Jeweler- cashier manager restaurant
keeper, 'for 1 am the conductor"
Country managers are queer beings, as
a general thing. Hundreds of times
nave walked into an opera house in a
small town d few hours before the per-
formance and found it entirely deserted
Sometimes 1 discovered the manager in
a saloon, or livery stable; frequently L
did not see him until il was time 10 open
the doors and turn on the gas.
The late Lawrence Barrett told me
once with fine indignatio that the man
ager of a small opera house in the west
informed him one day at noon that The
ought 10 hurry up and start the street
parade When I visited Arkansas with
Mccullough, | was assured by a local
manager. we We're all right, the people
had not forgotten McCullough's Rip Van
Winkle'-not by a long shot
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
THE COMMERCIAL CONGRESS.

HE. RESOLUTIONS against trusts
L adopted by the commercial con-
gress in st. Paul are about as succinct
and direct as anything could be- They
were adopted on a close vote by men
who represent great interests, men
who are affected by the trusts and
are, therefore, concerned in the sup
preston of that evil.
Most of the debate hinged on the
question whether such resolutions
could be termed partisan in their ma
ture, since the rules OF the congress
forbid action on partisan questions.
Very properly it was held that the
trusts in their relation to the public
welfare are outside the realm of par
tisan politics, though the defenders of
the trusts are almost invariably Re-
publicans
So far as the evils of trusts are
concerned, il matters not whether a
man is Republican Democrat or Popu-
list. Like death and taxes. the monop-
olies affect all citizens. Their divi-
dends come from the consumer and
their destruction Of competition is lin
tied to no party, creed or individual.
Every section OF the country feels their
heavy hand and every line of business
IS sooner or later laid under tribute
to them.
Practically all of the necessities and
most of the Injuries of life are con-
trolled by trusts, and the few Indus
tries now exempt cannot hope to es-
cape long unless they are limited by
legal restrictions.
1t was not only proper for the con-
gress to emphasize the danger of the
situation. but it would have been
cowardly for the delegates TO have
evaded IL.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
Blackbirds and Kitten.
Mongman.s Magazine

The blackbirds have no confidence in
the kitten. they regard neither her youth
nor the season of the wear. "A cat" they
say. Is cat. whether Young or old.
whether we have our paintings TO keep
OUT or her clutches or whether We have
only our skins to DrotectF' Therefore
they curse her at sight Up hill and down
dale they curse her, pursuing her with
m3lSdlcuOnS wherever she goes. You
may know at any moment exactly where
she is. because blackbird pere and mere
follow her up: and this sDOils her stalk
ing game. for naturally her surprises do
rot come off while two sDiteful sharp
tongued persons are forever sitting or
fitting over her head Scolding. Gliding.
cursinE. pillorying the poor thing until
she must be sick to the death of their
voices
What a nuisance thew must be, They
Will not even allow her to sleep peacefully
In some sunny spot she has found and
occupies so demurely
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24
Pats Trouble.
New York Times.

Pat had come over to America with the
expectation of finding money lying around
loose. only waiting for some one 10 pick
IL uD- OF course this was long ago Pat
haG soon become disiliusioned and was
always glad to get hold of odd jobs which
would net him little something to help
him keen body and soul together. Finally,
becoming tired Of the struggle, he de-
cided to end il all. and was very indus
triouslY tying a rope around his waist
when his landlord happened in on him
After watching him curiously for few
minutes. he asked:
What's UP, Pat2 What are you try
ing TO do?'
''Troyin' to choke meself, av coOrse.
was Pats answer
Choke yOurseIf2 You can't do il that
way. You'll have to put the rope around
your neck"
sure. an I thried thot. but couIdn't
breathe.''