The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1902-09-12
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claimed Squire Squeezinks. turning
round upon his wife and a group OF
feminine gossips who were exchanging
unctuous condolences touching a recent
na;o hhorhood scandal LET that
more gal be- Ef Their is anything in
this world do hybominate II Is nypoc-
rasyl You know mighty well the
fust time ever see you. Rugged an
kissed YOU. an then an tharatter You
never civ me no rest twell / married
yerl" =.
illustrate and elucidate the case OF the
President. The first time the public
caught sight of Teddy he was a canci-
date for Office. Already he had begun
10 sing the song of Civil Service Re-
form. He was the Gentleman In POL
itics as distinguished from the profess
ional politician. Then and thereafte{
he let no grass grow beneath his feet
He gave the Machine no peace. de
literally kicked himself from one fat
Mace TO another the process being 10
impose his glittering concerts upon
the credulity of the general public as
tine emanations of lofty virtue,
whilst PLAYING the party managers FOR
lot of knaves, as, in point OF tact
they usually are.
He possgssed gift that way. He
had discovered new trick OF dem
agogy. Finally, having put MS
whole STAKE upon a single card-re-
signing the Sub-Secretaryshlp In the
chi de sac at Washington to make
grand stand dash down the military
steeple-chase in Cupa-his card won
all through; at Santiago. where ne
marched up the hill, and then march-
ed back again at Saratoga, where ne
compelled them to nominate him LOT
Governor: at Philadelphia. where ne
worked them to the Queen taste for
the Vice Presidency: SO, that' not
vet four and forty years OF age, we
find him in the White house, Fresl-
dent of the United States. :. 49,
The cheek of it'll What is 1t the
Young cannot do with lmpunlty
Given an attractive personality, guD
tongue. and a rubber tire, ana your
Gentleman in Politics will double dis
count the cropheads who run der
masheen. Teddy the Chauffeur !
steering mis- own machine, Civil Service
Reformer-1OO miles per-w warranted,
to run down more voters in day tnan
platt or Addicks in years. 1t NOT g.
sight for Gods and Men
Keep it up, Teddy, keep 1t up
That '.tra- la la about the Trusts IS
eooa tune, since there is none other
handy to tie to; good enough Morgan
II II after the Fall elections. The point
is to get away for the time being Win
those that hew the wood and draw the
water and pay the piper. The stupid
Trusts may not like it. But, wnen
all is over ana another Trust Congress
has assembled. they will begin 10 see
s.the cuteness of the beast. linen,
he. for Nineteen Four Hol for the
Succession Each tub stands on lts
own bottom. One election at time'
say your Well slick over the trusts
now, you say and then we IL trust 10
luck to tide over them next time
Lord, how easy 1t calnot De Genled
that Teddy plays good, stiff hand;
He has studied the cue papers ana
girdea his loins, and he whispers. to
Old He Goat Trust, that IS. to Pier
pont Morgan, his dearest friend;
.sDon't YOU see, we are bound to 20
a bit slow here9 We must confess
Judgment, as iu were, and leave the
Democrats to fetch in their execution
when the goods are past discovery.
Steady! Leave me to throw dust In
the peoples eyes. After l have maze
the circuit you folks can pick up the
tag ends in Wall Street, whilst l, ana
the Speaker, with his Rules Commit
tee, will do the rest. | am playing
cards, Mr.. Morgan. Don't crit else
my play till the game is over
What was il Lincoln said about fool.
ing the people? Well. II enough OF
them can be fooled by these proceeding
to carry the country, Heaven help
the country
But has all sense of sincerity van.
ished from the minds of men. Can
any kind of thimble- rigging blind the
masses of the people to the fact tnat
the Trusts are direct emanatl0ns OF
Republican policies; that the Protec,
tive Tariff is behind the Trusts, and
the Republican party behind the Fro
tective Tariff? What does Teddy
admit2 Merely the existence OF the
Trusts. Some of them are good.
Some of them are bad The country
browns, and, like Rip Vim Wrinkle,
Teddy exclaims, ell just go home
and think about that '" VIII this
satisfy the voters?
Meanwhile, the high priced COM
bines proceed to fortify themselves,
and. in repsonse to the outcry OF the
moor old Beef Trust himself, ex.
claims: millions for self defense
not cent for tribute, except to the
Republican campaign fund ~
We shall see, men and brethren, we
shall see !-Courier-Jo