The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-03-06
Observation-Disclosures
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/ shall never forget the Joy with
which / received the news of my APP
pointment. 1t was a year after |
left the university. Strange to say,
my first feeling as I received my ap-
pointment as teacher in the female
gymnasium of the city Of N. had
nothing to do with the improve
ment in our economical status
which it implied. / remember that
feeling so clearly that it seems as if
it had all happened but an hour
dgo. Maybe it is because of the oc-
currence which it foreshadowed and
which was destined TO leave such a
deep trace on my life that l recall
it so wildly every time / think of it..
However that may be, the first ex-
clamation which | made mentally
as / received a letter announcing
py appointment was not, ''Now l
Ihall have about 100 rubles a
month"; but, ''Now l shall teach a
class Of beautiful girls and fall in
ioYe!'
Do not laugh. If you had been
brought up under the same coadi-
tons, you would be in a similar fur
ny. l was what is called a good boy
and never left my books. When in
st. Petersburg, | was ever trembling
lest should fail to pass my exam
nations and thus cause mother I'M
necessary expense and worry. Be
sides, l had inherited from my IA
Their retiring, studious nature, and
the very thought of young ladies
would make my heart beat fast with
a feeling of diffidence and timidity.
When | learned about the gympa-
SUM where l was to teach physics,
/ beheld class made up of twenty
or thirty beauties. Why all beau
ties l could not have explained, but
there they were-all young and rosy
checked, all tall and all with bashful
blue eyes.
/, too, grew bashful as / thought
of them in their brown dresses and
black aprons. They lured me, ca
ressed my soul, agitated my heart,
threw me into disquieting ecstasy
which was as novel to me as it was
sweet and painful.
1t had taken me three hours to
dress. was to make my first APP
pearance at the gymnasium. and my
FIRST lesson was in the highest class,
which was made up of girls of sew
enteen or eighteen. No student pre-
pairing for examination ever trem-
bled as l did on that morning. 1t
was as if instead of scholars / was
to face twenty or thirty ruthless ex-
aminers, each with an incisive pair
of eyes ready to pounce upon my
poor bashful self. / could hear
them giggle at my expense, make
jokes about my awkwardness, my
necktie, my looks.
When l entered the classroom, ]
struck an attitude of exaggerated
severity. To prove to myself that |
was not afraid of the girls spoke
ridiculously loud. / almost shouted
As / went on explaining the dis
tinction between chemistry and
physics l frowned on my class, look
ed daggers at the front row and al
together behaved as if ! bore them
a personal grudge.
isn't he stern?" I overheard one
girl whisper to another. A thrill of
pride ran through me. "You're all
right" l said to myself, and, elated
with the impression l had produced,
l began to feel more at ease and to
stride up and down the room with
the manner Of an old timer. / was
in the seventh heaven. Two girls
were talking in the rear seats.
"Silencep Numbered.
There was a suppressed chuckle
at this, and my heart sank within
me. / was the most miserable
wretch in the world.
When ] got home, ] lay down on
4I.-,i- III