Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-10-14
QUILL'S YARN.
4 Case Of Hard Pears and Also Hard
Words.


l was sitting In my den the Other
night. puzzllng over the strike problem
wishing that ! had coal not money t.
burn and wondering II had enough
rejected manuscript in the shape OF
spring poems and other cOmbust;ble
material to keep my air-tight from get
ting frost bitten the coming winter
when the telephone rang and rang vio-
lently. Now. am not a believer In
signs ana mind biography. but some
thing told me that there was an in
:uriated man at the other end of that
insulated wire waiting for somebody's
scalp. And this was one Of the times
that something did not toy with the
truth. for when ! lifted the horn off the
hooks / could smell burnt rubber and
see n blue haze coming out of the re-
ceiver. with here and there few choice
adJectivcs that had wintered over from
last year. I waited some moments be-
fore the day fireworks commenced.
then heard IA voice. that sadly needed
come skipping over the
wire. and somebody raid, Look here
recognized the voice as being the
personal property of 4 very mild man.
nered man. who under ordinary cir
cunstances would not raise his voice
two octaves above high c, that is.
when his wife vas around. But some
BODY had evidently RULED his plumage
the wrong way and he was wandering
around on the upper crust of this
elementary body of substance common
ly called the earth with a chip on his
shoulder looking for trouble, and the
way he started in he was liable to find
it without advertising in the want
columns CT the daily paper or Offering
any prizes. l waited until the echo had
died away and the blue smoke was out
of the receiver, then put Oh the sweet
est tore Daginable-One Of those soft,
mild sympathetic tones that one often
hears in the sick roen,-aad answered
back Look where
He only thought he was angry be-
fore but now he was certain. I could
hear him paving the hard wood floor
trying to dance u twO-steE and at the
same time bottling up his wrath and
vengencc to blow ut me over the wire.
Then l got it again. You talk about
things coming your way. he just in
Hated himself with hot air and yelled
like a deaf man into q mega phone.
Look here he said. don't you get
gay with me. I bought some pears at
Your place the other day-eating pears
and you told me they We're Ill right.
and whe, came 20 look at them they
were harder than Il book agents cheek
You can't eat them any more than you
can billiard balls. Why. you can't
n
right fol ballast. but what l want is
eating pears. you understand not
weights nor sinkers for fish lines. but
pears. Now what are you going TO do
about it,
I:y this time he had blown himself
EOarse over the wire and l was just
be ginning to get it through my cocoa
nut what the trouble was. He had
evidently bought some pears of some
good, honest soul, who had given a
verbal waIrantee-deed that said pears
were all right and eatable. but by some
unaccountable Juggling he had received
ossiiicd pears harder than bronze
statue Of Ben Franklin. and in his
haste to drum on the mans coop. he
had rung up the wrong number on the
and when he wanted to know what I
was going TO do about it. simply put
on the milJest tore imaginable and
said, my dear boy. Time. the great
healer. will certainly not forget you in
your affection, and il YOU will only
have patience, as job did. you may not
attend as many swell gatherings as he.
but you will certainly notice within
the next four or FIVE years Il change
in your pears that will surprise you.
and. like the thick soles on the new
boots. the objection will gradually wear
away. Now if you will only place them
in some receptacle, high upon the shelf
where they will be safe from the
rayages of the small boy. by the time
that the robbins nest again and coal is
two dollars a ton. Your pears will be
already to eat. In the meantime. You
can use a couple to darn stockings over.
They will come in very handy
really felt quite relieved after get
ting this out of my system and thought
/ had done my hilligerent friend . good
turn. but he evidently did not agree
with me. You could have heard him
hOller way Up the Brook road. l
thought my good advice had struck in
and was liable to prove fatal like the
,neasels but he rallied beautifully and.
after catching his breath. he proceeded
with malace aforethouGht to call me
anything hut Il gentleman, and finally
wound up by Informing me that he wa
coming right over to tell what he
thought of me and Fix up that pear
transaction. waited until I heard his
store door close and saw him hurrying
across the street toward the fruit mans
place. was undecided who to