Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-02-06
REVENGE OF LOVERS.
ESCAPADES OF RE-
JECTED YOUNG MEN.
Foolish Freaks of Youths in Old Eng
land-One Disappointed Suitor Went
to the Expense of "Burying" His
Ex-Eiancee's Affections.

Whether the Tilted lover feels that
he hrs been made to look so very foolish
that it really does not matter how much
more foolish he shows himself to be, 1t
is impossible to say but the fact re-
mains that when he attempts ito get
his own back" to use Il vulgar phrase.
he generally descends to degree of
righteousness difficult TO exceed Some
OF his foolish freaks are recounted by
Tit Bits. one salad youth recently star
tied and annoyed his erstwhile sweet
heart and got himself into trouble with
the law by chartering small. but muir
dcrously inclined brass band to play
| the dead March" in saul" under the
lady's window. This individual is not
! alone in the glory of his righteousness;
| indeed he was only modestly following
in the footsteps of another young man
who had been similarly rejected. The
latter young man took revenge upon his
rejecter by giving her "constancy' Il
stately funeral, very much to the
amusement of the good folks residing
in his town. He caused a death notice
to he inserted in the proper columns OF
all the local newspapers announcing
| that the love and constancy of the
young lady had succumbed to an attack
of another young man Oh Il certain date.
Then he actually went to the expense
of "burying" his eX-liancee's affections.
At noon one day a band Of some eight
| In. a. n nf
the young lady's house, and was
promptly followed by closed hearse
and Il single coach Alighting quickly
from the coach the young man of mis-
applied originality ran quickly up the
steps of the lady's house. and immedi
ately returned, pretending to bear some
heavy object reverentally on the palms
of his hands. This imaginary some
thing was run into the hearse and the
funeral cOrtege started to wend its way
slowly through the streets towards the
cemetery, led by the band playing the
Dead March, and with the addle
headed young man as sole mOurner.
Needless to say, the procession caused
good deal of sensation in the town,
and by the time it had walked around
the boundary wall of the cemetery it
was the chief topic of local chatter and
every one knew what was the meaning
of it. A few days later there was very
nearly a genuine funeral. for the young
lady's new lover met the old lover in
the street. with decided advantage in
favor of the former A black eye and a
| badly swollen mouth. to say nothing of
bump on the back Of his head,
caused by contact with the curb. must
| have impressed the young man that he
had gone to the expense of funeral
for nothing.
A provincial tradesman may be said
to owe the tlourishing condition of his
business to having been Tilted by his
hearts choice. and taking revenge in
a manner which made him the talk of
his town. not Il large one. by the way.
After an engagement lasting the bet
ter part of two years the young woman
Tilted her lover for a handsomer and
more prosperous tradesman from
neighboring town. Hardly were the
words Of rejection cold on her lips than
he set to the work of taking satisfac
ton for the attront. He shut up his
shop and announced his death as hav-
ing taken place on account of Miss
IS heartless conduct to him. He
had cards printed repeating the sad an
nouncement. and these he sent round to
all the young woman's friends and his
customers. and he advertised in the
local paper that his funeral would take
place on certain date. On the day APP
pointed. however. he placarded his shop
with Il highly cOlored notice to the eff
feet that the cause of all his troubles
had proved to he unworthy to die for.
and that he had consequently decided
to live and resume his business on
Monday next" by this time, of course
the affair was known to the whole
town, and when the shop opened on the
all-important Monday there was
crowd of customers waiting.
! WASTE GOAL an Dali DOANC