New-York tribune., 1902-04-11

The Australian ballot law adopted IN Col
orado before the State gave the suffrage to
women This law provides that the voting booths
must be so constructed that the voters legs may
be seen below the knees
AN EFFORT AT PHILOSOPHY.
I'm not hanging round with n word Of complaint.
cause rnaybe things might have been worse.
I'm not finding fault with what is and what ain [.
Cause maybe things might have been worse.
There's fever an agus an rheurnatz, r. too, ,ra,.s
An. I've gone right ahead-learnt 'em all through
But maybe things might have been worse.
The climates a misnt. howe'er It may change.
But maybe it might have been worse:
And luck always strikes bit out OF my range,
But maybe it might have been worse
An sometimes I look at the shInin' fair
An wish had lit on planet up tnerss'
-Cvashington Star.
It was a holiday A man walked into the business
office of well known newspaper in this city and
handed the clerk at the counter death notice ot
course that in itself nothing strange. but his
manner was merry, and inconsistentiy So The
clerk looking at him rather strangely. he vouch-
saf fed this remark accompanied with a resounding
slap on the shoulder Why. my boy, that was my
rnother-ir-law" When he left the Office he left
the clerk in deep thought wondering II that was
the way mothers-in-Iaw affected all men.
A sailor in the custom house the other day took
out Of his pocket silver coins that had
strange yellow hue. and clerk said to him: What
makes your money such a funny color, lack
Para quay. an we just got in from Texas with
money money yellow Fuel oil has that effect on every
kind of metal You ought to be on fuel OIL
the cabin slverware the kitchen tins and every
blasted bit of metal on b4ard an a hdYing 1 trs
this sulphur that does the yellowing NITRIC acid
will bring back the original color again -tPniia-
dephia Record.
A contributor to The Kansas Churchman." who
recalls that in his boyhood people went to two and
sometimes three services n day. sat on hard
benches and sang. My God the spriHg of all my
Joys" while now they lean back in cushioned pews
and sing art thou weary. art thou Ianguid?'
thinks that hymnology Is changing to suit the
times.
The Drawback.-"Yes. he always runs his auto
mobile and cares for IT himself
But surely he's rich enough to engage chaur-
"Oh yes he's rich enough to engage one. but
he's such poor linguist he's afraid he.d never
pronounce the name properly '-Phiadephia
Press.
Ping pong punch says The Philadelphia Rec
ord lis the very newest thing in soda water
fountain concoctions. 1t has been introduced In
one of Chestnut-st.'s big soft drink emporiums'
and Is already popular. Speaking OF this ailitera-
tive beverage yesterday, the White coated young
man behind the counter said The ping pong
nrncb was hound to come sooner later.
we took time by the forelock and stole march
on our rivals It's the name that counts. you
know The ingredients? Well they consist of the
juice of a lemon. a dash of bitters glass OF apple
cider a fresh egg and a spoonful of powdered
sugar That well shaken, poured into a tall glass
and filed up with sparkling soda from the fountain.
It has caught Immediately but anything with
a name like that would"
tn amusing practical joke has been perpetrated
in a Continental club. A member hurt his finger;
a brother member who physician, to look
at it, The physician did so, and. to the patients
surprise sent in bill for ten shilings Inc victim
showed the bill another member, who was a
solicitor and asked him what he should do. The
solicitor promptly advised him to pay the bill, and
given. The man complained of his treatment to
yet another member. who reported MN 70 the com
ultimately fined case of champagne-Uondon
Globe.
The Rev DR. Mackenzie. of San Francisco, who
is coming to this city. once calling on new
parishioner who had a limb of a boy. She had
invited the doctor dine. Willie she said to
her hopeful. pass DR.. Mackenzie potato Willie
seized the potato between thumb and finger and
before his mother could utter horrihed remon-
STRANGE he had tossed 1t the table and
squarely into the good mans lap. Judgment"
cried Willie "One strike" quoted the quick witted
clergyman Willie leave the table" stormed his
mother Madam" said the minister. do
Judge him ha.shly See how beautifully he put the
sphere over the plate" And from that time there
wasn't more earnest worker in all the big Sun
day school than that Willie
and Goliath?' asked the Sunday school teacher.
"Yesm.' said the boy in the corner.
Well. what is it, my boy?
Did David put up a second stone to Goiath's
uemory?"-(Yonkers Statesman.