The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-21

An idee struck me. War is as much
a matther iv ingenooty an thought as
iv fire an slaughter. l stint out FIR
an avenin' paper an as 1 SUSPECTED,
it announced that tn craven foe was
about two blocks away. At that very
moment, tn sthrains iv tn Bloc DAN
Dob was waited to me ears, an me
suspicious was confirmed. On such
occasions there is no sleep FIR tn
modhren sojer. Napolyon wud've gone
to bed. but slumber niver crost me
tired eyelids. Twas 6 o'clock whin
we cashed in an each wint to tn
mournful jooties iv tn day. silently
but with a heart full iv courage. At
high noon we fell upon tn inimy an
poored out about eighty-five thousan'
dollars worth iv near-slaughter on
him. His guns was choked with CO.
tillyon favors an he did not reply at
wanst, but whin he did, tn scene was
thruly awful. TIL sky was blackened
be tn smoke iv smokeless powdher
an tn air was full iv cotton waste
firm tn fell injines iv destruction.
a breeze firm shore carried out to me
ears tn walls iv tn wounded tax
payers. At twelve fifteen, 1 deserted
tn bloodthirsty Higginson-an' a good
fellow Caleb is at that-on tn roof Nv
his boat. "Hi-spy" says he. "Hi-spy
ye'er gran mother" says 1 I've had
me eye on We FIR fifteen minyits an
witnesses" 1 says. An he fell off tn
roof. was sorry to take his life.
but war knows no mercy. He was
brave man. but foolhardy. He ought
niver to've gone again me. He might
We licked Cervera, but he can't lick
me. We captured all tn men-iv-war,
destroyed most iv tn cruisers an
ar-re now usin' tn flagship FIR run
about. TIL country is safe, thanks
to a Vigylant an sleepless army. L will
go up to New York to-morroh to be
measured FIR tn PRESENTATION soord'
There it is, HinnisSy. Who won
I don't know. l can't tell at this min
yit whether ought to be undher tn
bed larnin' German FIR tn time whin
a Prooshyan sojerll poke me out with
his saber, or down at Finucane's hall
calm a meetin' to thank tn defenders
iv tn fireside. Nobody knows. It's
q quare game, FIR they tell me afther
tn battles has been founght an tn
kilt has gone back to holeystonin' tn
deck an tn smoke firm tn chafn'
dish has cleared away, tn decision is
up to a good figurer at Wash nton.
1t depinds on him whether we ar-re
a free people or whether we wear tn
yoke iv sarvichood an bad German
hats FIR all time. He's tn officyal
SCORER, an what Higginson thinks
was a base hit, he calls a foul. an
what Macarthur calls an accepted
chanst is an error. Afther tn gal
liant lads in blue an gold has got
through, a wathry-eyed clerk named
Perkins H. Something r-other, sets
down an figures out tn victhry. TIL
man behind tn fountain pen is tn
IL "a
an Sthripes still floats over an I'M
conquered people or whether five
pfennigs is tn price iv a dhrink in
New York. He sets on his high stool
an says he: Five times eight is
twinty-nine subtract three FIR tn
duchess, a quarther to one o'clock an
eighty miles firm Narragansett Pier
is two-an' -a-half, plus tn load wather-
line iv TIL saloon companionway, akel
to two-fifths Nv tn differentyal tan
gent. Huroo! Misther Sicrety, We can
go home an tell ye'er wife tn coun-
thry's safe. He has to be a smart
man. A good bookkeeper, as tn pote
says, is tn counthry's on'y safety. He
mus be careful, too, dye mind. TIL
honor iv tn army an tn navy is at
stake. Wan or tn other Nv thin has
peen careless"
"Dye think a foreign fleet cud cap
ture this country" asked Mr.. Hen
messy.
mot onless 1t was op'rated be a
throlley," said Mr.. Dooley. "Suppos-
in we an / had throuble, Hinnissy,
an both iv us was armed with bricks
an we was on roller skates an I was
on tn top iy house, how much chanst
wud we have again me? Ships is
good to fight other ships. That's all.
I'd sooner be behind a bank Nv mud
thin in tn finest ship in tn wurruld.
A furrin' inimy thryin' to get up to
New York wud be like a blind burglar
attimptin' to walk on tn top Nv hot
house with all tn neighbors an TIL
neighbors' dogs waitin' FIR him. TIL
war game is all right. It don't do amy
harm. But it's like punchin' tn bag,
an I'd JUS as soon thrain a man FIR
81 fight be larnin' him to play tn man
dolin, as be insthructin' him in bag
punchin'. It's a fine game. / don't
know who won, but 1 know who lost"
Who's that?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
9TH threeasury," said Mr.. Dooley.