Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-05-15
BY JAY
GETCHER
QUINN.
TALES OF !
THE TOWN. !


She sat erect and fair and proud.
Then laug led, You fatter me without ex-
CuSe,
You quite mistake, am the duce."
If the airiness of those is not suffi-
Gent to convince of the sprightliness
of the fair dabbler in poesy, let me
conclude this unmanne1ly intrusion
of her gems of thought by quotrain
which is charming in it's simplicity:
Little Willie had lily,
Didn't have a bloom;
Little Willte's, silly Billie's,
Heart was filed with gloom.
Round about US every day, at morning, noon
and night, we hear the slang which used
to be considered impolite. The times
have changed, It's very plain, and 1t is
quite the thing, to season conversation
with slangy favoring.
s.You're not SO warm we hear quite oft;
it's as a snub intended; you're not so
slow is something at which none should
be offended. Come off the roof" or off
the perch is doubling ones veracity,
and HE takes the cake or bun" may
be, is praise of ones capacity.
To "chin" or Jaw" .shoot off ones mouth
all mean the verb to talk, and Cut your
stick" ''Vamoose the ranch are hints
to you to walk. wheels in his head is
plainly meant to indicate insanity, and
when a man smooth guy is, it means
he has urbanity.
Cough up is often used for pay and the
sucker" is the payer; 'slob" is some
thing not desired, a beau" is much
more rare. passed in his checks
turned up his toes synonyms are for
dying. and talking through his hat" is
how we mildly say he's lying.
When another peach is called it's some.
thing worth possessing; put on your
duds'' is modern slang for the simple act
of dressing 1.-THE push is term oppro-
brious tor any crowd political. and up
against it" means for sure your Condl-
ton is quite critical.
To say s'I'll chew or feed my face" means
that you're going to eat and if girl a
''loo-loo' is it implies that she is sweet.
To have pipe" means that you state
what likely isn't true, and, last of all,
I'm thu ough.''
potato went out on mash
And sought an onion bed;
That's pie for me, y observed the squash,
And all the beets turned red.
''Go away the onion weeping cried,
''Your love cannot be;
The pumpkin be your lawful bride,
You cantaloupe with me.
But onward still the tuber came
And lay down at her feet
''You caulifiower by any name
And it will smell as wheat,
And I. too, am an early rose,
And you I've come to see,
So don't turn up your lovely nose
But sp1nachat with me-"
II do not carrot all to wed
Sc go sir, if you please"
The modest onion meekly said,
''And lettuce, pray, haye pease.
Go, think that you have never seen
Myself or smelled my sigh,
Too long maiden have been
For favOrS in your rye"
"Ah, spare cuss,' the tuber prayed,
MY cherryshed bride you'll be;
You are the only weeping maid
That's currant now with me-
And as the willy tuber spoke
He caught her by surprise
And, giving her an artichoke,
Devoured her with his eyes.
/ made somewhat critical ocular
examination of a photograph of the
'sreal thing" shirtwaists for "its"
and feel dutifully bound to candidly
say that for Willie-boys they are the
best yet! That double yoke arrange
ment, with the lovely shir-string, you
know, appealed to my aesthetic feel
ings, the moment grasped the point,
and the possibilities of putting on a
''front' with this new shirtwaist-
and the proper amount of padding
is something touching. In fancy I
can now see nice. genteel. lisping,
skipping Van Dyke-bearded man, in a
dream of a shirtwaist, daintily meand-
ering down the street under the ad-
miring 'glawnces'' of a certain kind
of female, while real live men long
for a stocking full of nice juicy mud!
For mercy sake, fellows, let the
dear girls have our clothes and as
many of 'em as they can don, but
goodness, don't let that shir-string,
bullying, bosomed shlrtwaist PROPOSE
ton do anything more substantial to
you than merely light-don't let the
idea become settled one with you so
that you will go buy! Cut it out!
Annual State Institute.