davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Admiral Killick of Hayti Stands a chance. now that he is dead, to become the negro naval hero of the period.
 --.s.---- While St. Louis is filling peniten- tiary with boodlers Birmingham will do like act with pistol toters. The professionals will today en- deavor to unload some gold bricks on our captains of industry.
 Thus far the circus trust has not been able to merge the Tom L. John son aggregation in Ohio.
 --.-s--------. Russell sage's tummy-tum is a factor in Wall Atreet, and its daily working is duly tieked off.
 
 Mimic wars are a nuisance because 1t takes so long to figure out which side won.
 Cleveland seems to consider itself the mother of Presidents, but it is mistaken.
 The undlsturbed days of our noble army of pistol toters are nearly num- bered
 President Roosevelt is spending a briaf tfrno ot ho,,,o to+1,.oo,, st.1,,;,,,re. :, No trusts have thus far been dis covered in Mars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Admiral Killick of Hayti stands chance. now that he is dead, to become the negro naval hero of the period.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Thus far the circus trust has not been able to merge the Tom L. John son aggregation in Ohio.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

No trusts have thus far been dis covered in Mars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

The undlsturbed days of our noble army of pistol toters are nearly num- bered
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Never anger. made good guard for Itself. .,
 Antony and Cleopatra.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

President Roosevelt is spending a brief time at home between swings"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Russell Sage's tummy-tum is factor in Wall street, and its daily working is duly ticked off.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Cleveland seems to consider itself the mother of Presidents, but it is mistaken.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

Mimic wars are nuisance because 1t takes so long to figure out which side won.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-16

From the New oYrk Mail and Express.
 usmEa IGURES that are of interest be-
 s~a cause they throw some light
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
op.ie.ee In saGht.

II vas In morning hours Of bake
day" In the little out-of-the-way viii
|lage. says Harper's Magazine. The
mingled odors Of fresh bread. pies. and
cookies foated out OF h open kitchen
windows.
From one OF the smaller cottages at
the end Of the street came q barefooted
child in q coloriess calico dress and stat
Isunbonnet. With the important air Of
a heavy buyer she entered the village
store. and handed acrUss the counte o
Ibiue teacup. The proprietor took the
cup and said. in brisk tones:
Wen Emmy. VIA does your ma
want todayr'
Please. sir. ma wants an eggs worth
OF molasses." and she carefully placed
a large white egg on the counter.
From a stone jug q little molasses
was poured, and the cup set before the
Mr.. Smif." she said. as she took her
purchase "Tu be back in a little while
Tor some ginger. Ma said to tell you
the black hen was on"
And the buyer walked with dignity
out OF the store door and up the village
street to her home.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Trout's Memory for Fish Poles.

AS to the fact Of memory in fishes.
the late Seth Green. the father Of
American fish culture. was able to give
lat least one striking example Of 1t. an
example which. doubtless. many people
today have a pleasant recollection of.
for no one visited the state hatchery
lat Caledonia. N. Y. in those days
without witnessing that interesting ex-
hihition. In one Of the enclosed pools
at the hatchery among many other
trout was one very large one. which
always came very promptly forward to
be seen when visitors appeared. 1t was
Mr.. Green's inyariable custom. after
lcalling the visitors attention to that
II out in particular. to raise his cane
IQuickly and hold it over the water to-
ward the trout, but as that perform
lance bad no effect On the trout, the
visitor would wonder what Its object
might be. He was not long kept Won
lderiDg. for requesting the visitor 10
mote how impassive the fish was under
the walking stick, Mr.. Green would pro-
lduce a light trout rod. all equipped for
casting and appear with 1t at the side
OF the pool
ms. antly that trout would turn and
flee as IL in terror, hide itself at the
lfar end of the enclosure and remain
There so long as the rod was In sight.
The explanation Of his surprising
in the trouf's demeanor was
brief. but amazing. One day early In
1.-THE career OF the fish. Mr.. Green. to
Itrv a barbless hook he had devised.
east with one In hat pool. and this
TROUT seized It The hook penefrated
land passed through tn upper Jaw. near
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Not q Democratic Drink.

This is a story that was overheard,
says The Washington Sta The dra-
mats personae were two gentlemen
who came to Washington from Kansas
City. Kan. to secure talent for a
democratic banquet. They were order
ed to secure Admiral Schley at all haz-
yards. But Admiral Schley had his
hands full and declined. They invited
two or three other prominent naval
men and they declined-the order was
TO secure some one to represent the
navy. The two gentlemen were cam
wasting the situation on the street car.
"Say!" exclaimed Smith-which
wasn't his name any more than Jones
belonged to the other-''what about the
man who said Don't cheer; they are
dying maybe he would come. What
waS-hiS-name2"
"Um-er-oh. yes-Philip." replied
Jones.
Suppose We ask him."
Hes dead" answered Jones.
Smith seemed to be thinking very
hard for a few moments. then slapped
Jones on the knee as an idea struck
him.
i've got'er now. Let's get that duff
fer that was with Dewey. He's straight
goods. The one that Dewey told You
may fire when ready What's his
name? 1 can't recall It,"
THAT was Gridley." returned Jones.
well, let's get Gridley." said Smith.
He's dead. too" Jones replied.
gloomily.
Then they went back to Kansas City
declared the banquet off. "Whe a
democrat takes to water he usually
dies" was Smiths laconic report
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Told by Governor shaw.

Governor Shaw. Of Iowa. the recently
appointed secretary OF the treasury.
Gays the New York Times. tells this
story Of a personal experience while
4 lying a case in an Iowa court: A boy
about II years old had beer put on the
stand. and the opposing counsel was
examining him. After the usual pre-
iiminary questions as to the witness
age. residence. and the like. he then
u oceeded:
Have you any occurationT"
NO"
Don't YOU do any work Of any
kind?'
NO"
lust loaf around homer"
That's about ALL"
What does your father dor"
"Nothin' much"
Doesn't he do anything to support
the family?"
TT does odd Jobs once in 4 while
when he a get them"
A a matter of fact. isn't your faith
or a pretty worthless fellow. a dead
eat and a loafer?'
II don't know. sir: you'd better ask
him. He's sittin' over there on the
Jury"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Defeat OF n Paternal Purpo.e.

He had been hanging around my girl
Tor some time and / saw that unless
some thing was done before long he
would o become a member Of the
family. I had frowned upon the matter
right from the start. as 1 didn't hin
ne was good enough for my daughter.
But from the beginning I simply con-
stituted a hopeless minority, as my
wife thought he was a perfect rag
l thought ! knew better, and when, one
sunday / saw him at a ball game. I
was sure of IL.
/ am a great lover Of the Amcrican
game. and Sunday is the only day that
l have time to attend I have always
been very careful to keep from my wife
the fact that I ever attended a game OF
baI on Sunday. as she Is a very struct
church member, and views with horror
anyone who seeks pleasure on the Sab
bath. So. when 1 say the young man
there at the game, 1 thought I a
found a way to bring her over to my
side. knowing full we'll that if I did his
nance of becoming a emb of the
family were mighty SLIM. I hadn't the
slightest idea that he had seen me there,
and / thought I could startle an ad-
mission from him that would show him
I'D in his true colors, and without dan
ger to myself. So. when he called the
other night 1 said suddenly:
young man, where were you last
Sunday?"
"Oh. 1 just sat two rows ahead of
you !" he answered easily.
That threw explanations back OH me
and left me gasping for breath.
Fine sermon. wasn't it," he added a
moment later, coming to my rescue like
the trump he is.
"Oh. you dear fellow. did you go tt
church Inc say nothing about IL 10
me?" cried my wife. How lovely!
h was the text?"
/ was simply incapable of answering
and again that young man filled the
breach.
Ninety and nine," said he.
The score wasn't quite as bad as that
almost, though. Say! he's the finest
young man that ever drew breath aud
he can have anything that belongs to
me.-EXchange.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Traded Horses With His Wife.

There is a man whose business re-
quires a large number OF delivery wag-
ons. He has always made IL a rule to
have good horses for the wagons. When
the announcement was made that
horses with docked tails were no longer
fashionable the business mans wife
was much annoyed because the hand
some team Of high-steppers she had for
her carriage were short as to tails after
the fashion Of recent times.
She wanted to be in style and asked
for a new team for her carriage. Her
husband was a wise business man. He
o two well watched horses from his
delivery wagon service and had them
"slicked up" in a livery and sale stable
for a week or so. Then he had them
taken out to his residence by the horse
dealer with whom he did business for
the inspection Of his wife. She thought
they were just the thing. their tails be-
Ing all that fashion or flies could re-
uuire. h next day they were in the
stable. and may be seen pleasant days
in front of the handsome carriage OF
the business mans wife. The team she
formerly used is engaged in the prcsaic
work Of the husbands business deliv-
cry service. So small a thing as the
style of horses tails determined the
fate of the four horses and pleased the
woman of fashion, for she has not yet
guessed the reasonable terms on which
her husband obtained the long-tailed
carriage team for her. Cleveland
Leader
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
In Interest of Science.

When ones friend is a SCIENTIST and
given to experiments a little caution
may not be out of place before con-
Senting to do him a favor, says the
Youths Companion. That. however. did
not occur to a certain we'll known pub
lie man whose experience is related IN
an Australian paper. He went to the
laboratory of an old schoolmate, a Mel
bourne professor of chemistry, to make
studying a dark brown substance
spread out on a sheet of paper.
Il say he cried, when greetings had
been exchanged, would you kindly let
me place a bit of this on your tongue?
NV taste has become vitiated by trying
al; sorts of things"
Certainly. responded the accomIno-
dating friend, and he promptly opened
his mouth.
The professor took up some Of the
substance under analysis and put 1t on
around in his mouth for fully a minute.
tasting it much as he might ave tasted
a choice CONNECTION.
Mote any effect?" asked the pro.cs-
Sor.
INC. none"
ut doesn't paralysis or prick your
tongue?"
Not that 1 can detect"
II thought not. There are no aka
loids in it. then. How does it taste?
Bitter as gall"
"Hem-m-m! All right"
By this time the visitors curiosity
was aroused. But what is 1t. any
how" he inquired.
II don't know. That's what I'm try
inC to find put. Some n has bean
poisoning horses with it."
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Plenty Money, but Penniless.

Assistant State Treasurer 7. 7. Kelly
had an experience the other day some
thing akin to the man with the million
dollar check in Mark Twain's story,
says a Topeka dispatch in the Kansas
City Journal. He made up his bank &C
count in the state treasury. / { con-
sisted of s107. 900 in checks and other
forms of money. He threw it into a
sack n started to the bank. He got
in the street car. The conductor came
around and. as usual. said:
Fare. DleaSe?"
Kelly went down in his vest pocket
for a nickel. No money was there. Then
he felt in the right pocket of his trous-
ers. which proved to be the wrong one,
as there was not a cent in it. He dug
down in his left pocket n got left
again. By this time the conductor was
getting impatient.
81 want your fare, please" said he.
.I'm looking for it." said Kelly.
s"That's an old dodge" said the con-
ductor, "and can't be worked In this
enlightened age. There was a time
when a fellow could pretend that he
was looking for his money until he
reached his destination and then got
off and gave us the laugh, but that
time has passed. -
Gosh, I guess / haven't got any
money" replied the assistant treasurer
Then get off," said the conductor
pulling the bell.
The a stopped and Kelly gathered
up his s107 900 and got OF because ne
had no car fare
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Reflections of a Bachelor.

If we understood ourselves better we
might be able to understand other peo-
pie a little.
A mar can win a girls o with
flowers and candy; he's got to keep it
with square meals.
A deadly uninterest;ng play to wo-
ivan is where the heroine is never mis-
understood by the man h owes.
When a young lover figures on
whether he car support a wife, he
counts in everything except the rent,
butcher. and grocer. Clothes. and Incl
ldentals.
The rva girl problem began when
Eve had clothes to go away from the
house and show to all her friends.
You can knock out most any rival
you have by always admitting to a girl
that he is a good deal better than she
thinks he is.
There are few of US who would like
to be somebody else. but there are few
of US who would not Ike to have what
somebody else has got.
! After a woman has bought all her
presents for her friends she
picks out the incest ones and keeps
them so as to be economical and gives
the others away.
Christmas presents come home to
lroost the next year.
Some under dogs seem to chew hard
er in that position than when they are
lon top.
The thing that Knocks faith cure and
lall the rest Of those things into the
next century is to have a tooth pulled.
Getting a lot of sisters married off Is
like setting off a bunch of ~firecrackers
l-you q care which one sets the
bunch off.
A man calls a woman strong-minded
when h can't make UP her mind
whether to go to a meeting of her de-
batting society or a mental science lee
Iture.-New York Press.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07

The fear Of newspaper exposure is
continually before the transgressors
eyes. and innumerable acts of cruelty
ARE prevented by the dread that the
EVIL deed. if done. will be scattered be-
fore he entire community.-Philadel-
Iphia Ledger.
The moral law helps. Of course. to
keep men straight, but when you get
down to hard pan you find that the
newspaper which knows everybody and
Everything is a very wholesome factor
i'm the problem of public virtue. Rogues
don't like large type. The motive NAV
be a low one. but it serves a purpose
New York Herald.
The fear of newspaper exposure"
il that is certain to follow a violation
of law or decency. is worth a dozen po-
to any community But this de-
terrent should be used with discretion.
There are first offenseS. For the most
part. these lie at the door Of very young
persons. TO publish the shame of such
serves no good purpose. On the con-
ltrary. once their misdeeds are blaZoned
they are cut off from all oppor-
ltunity of reformation. In this matter,
the press can dc much harm as well as
much good. The discretion of the edi-
tor is the determining factor for the
course of any paper in this matter
Portsmouth Star.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
The Bank Account was too Short.

Here is a story OF two we'll known
young Eaitimo:-an, rom We will &c i
Mr.. Ton Blank and Mr.. Dick So-and-
Sc. Each brides himself on being abSo-
lutcly ~up-to-datr and up to snuff in all
particulars. Says the Baltimore Sun.
Tom called to see Dick one morning.
a short time ago, and a scarcely
passed through the door before Dick
eXclaimed:
by George, The very Say.
Tom, / want to go to Boston this after
loon. and l need S75. 1 wish you'd let
me have it. l really wouldn't ask Vou-
but see my position"
YES" replied Tom. "a sort of touch
indigo CT no-~touch-no-go position.
You are better off at home. Dick It's
Try cold in E1stOn."
somewhat frosty here. too. it seems"
said Dick. "Bnt it's all a joke, old man
Come in and sit down"
Haven't time" said Tom. Il just
stepped around to see if you wouldn't
let me have that 500 you already
eve melt it's perfect convenient"
Dick seemed to maze a hurried men
tai calculation. and then told his friend
that he would give him a check for
that amount. but didn't think he had
quite that much in bank.
But you can go down n see. ne
a6ded.
So Tom took the check. invited Dick
10 go to the theatre with him that
evening. and hurried down to bank.
The paying teller took the check.
Strolled back. looked at Dicks account
and returned to the window. k
his head. .
How much does it take to make it
good?" asked Tom.
Not allowed to tell" replied the
teller.
Tom went to the receiving teller and
deposited $40 to Dicks credit, but that
didn't make the check good. Another
$40 and still others were put UP. with
the same result. until Tom began to
perspire and the bank people to laugh.
Finally Tom deposited his tenth SO,
with the remark hat it was a tough
game to be VI against. and he again
presented the check. only to be met
with another shake OF the teller's head
and the information: Very sorry. MIR.
Blank. but that account was somewhat
oy~erdrawn."
Tom gave it up and dashed out Of the
bank. He had no sooner gone than
Dick sauntered in. and asking how
much he had to his credit. was told
S95.
"Just cash me this check for $780," he
said. land if YOU see Tom Blank to-
day tell him I'm awfully sorry / can
not be able to see him this evening. as
1 have decided to take that little Bos-
ton trip we were talking about this
morning"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Out of Sight.

Yes. i have a pretty big mouth, for
d fact" admitted the candid man. &C
aGTding to the Detroit Free Press. but
1 have learned to keep it shut and that
counts for something when you take
Your levels. 1 received a lesson when
/ was q small boz that I have never
forgotten. l was born and brought up
Oil a farm. and / had the country bow
habit Of going around with my mouth
vide open. especially il there was any
thing unusual going IN. One day an
uncle. whom I had not seen for years
paid us a visit.
"rHullo, uncle said /. looking I'D at
him with my mouth opened like 4 barn
door.
He looked at me for a moment with
cut answering. n then salu.
"'Close your mouth sonny. SO l can
see who you are
II took the lesson to my heart and
resolved that from that day 1 would
not allow nv mout to conceal nv
IDENTITY"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07

Southern negroes have a well devef-
oped sense of humor which they In
dulge to the fullest extent. and If q
joke is as wide as a church door it need
not be as deep as a well to bring from
their throats the loud outlaws which
leave no doubt Of the s~pontaneity OF
their mirth TO those within "~whoopings
distance. says the New York Maj an1
Express
Once in a while one il found who
shows evidences Of wit.
Dan was employed as porter in q
mercantile establishment In a one
town in Florida, and his duties required
him to have the store swept by 7 O'Clock
In the morning. He had been late for
many mornings. and OIL the sixteenth
consecutive time his employer remon-
strated with him thus:
Dan. why can't YOU get here on
timer"
well. Mr.. l." sail Dan. ''yon see
/ live on the other side OF Mount Fer
mar cemetery. n can't always get
her on time"
WHY In the world do you live SD far
from our work" said his employer.
Without a moments hesitation Dan
responded:
Yer see. it's dis yer wey, Mr.. L. III
be homes wild yer. I wants q house be-
yond the grave"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
To Prevent Typhoid Fever.

Much has been written on this sub
pect, blu, how many cases of this fever
have been prevented nobody knows. The
fact that the car of Russia recently
had it and also many other educated
persons, shows II is not easy to stamp
1t out. People may know but it is not
so easy for them to do the needed thing.
Typhoid fever is a w~ater-borne dis
ease, and is commonly into the
system in drinking water which has
become contaminated from the eXcreta
of persons suffering from the disease.
Freezing does not impair the vitality
Of the bacillus Of typhoid, SO that ice
from a river or pond may convey the
disease to miles from h
source of infection.
Milk has more tlan one been the
means of conveying the disease. Most
milk producers are aware of the neces-
sity OF cleanliness in the preparation
of milk for shipment. In most modern
diaries the bottles, before being filled,
are subjected to the sterlizing effcts of
steam. EpidemicS of typhoid fever
traced to daries have in, most cases
been due to the bottles having been
washed with water from an infected
we'll or pond.
Oysters that have been bedded in
bodies of water which receive the con-
tents of sewerage pipes have been the
means Of conveying typhoid fever.
Only oysters eaten raw or on the half
shell a carry infection to the con-
sumner, since cooking destroys the bacil-
lus.
A pure water supply is rightly looked
upon as n of the greatest essentials
to the healthiness of a community.
Many foods, salads, for example, can
not be cooked or subjected to the effects
Of a high temperature, while, on the
other hand, washing them in infected
water may rende them the mean Of
conveying disease.
Among the chief ways of preventing
typhoid fever must be mentioned the
care of the stomach itself. 1t seems
highly probable that the natural juices
of the healthy stomach are able to de-
stroy many germs of disease; but the
number which any stomach may be able
to digest must always be uncertain, and
it is not desirable to test its capacity
in this direction.
The fact that only certain persons
out Of a number who nave partaken OF
food or drink infected with disease
germs may suffer is e~xplainable on the
ground of their different general phys
ical condition, or of the varying states
of their digestive organs.
Boiling or cooking in any form de-
stroys all germ life; and foo or drink
about which there is a question of ty-
phoid infection should be subjected to
one of these processes before it is taken
INTO the stomach.-Exchange.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-02-07
Grateful

Say what you may about the Chi
nese." said a lawyer whose offices are
located in the Mutual Life building
they are grateful. Thew never forget
a favor. Among my clients r two
Chinese merchants who have a store on
Race street Four years g they came
TO me for legal advice. and i steered
them through a law suit. They were
ELUSIVE in their gratitude, and ever
since then / have received presents
from them twice a year. Just before
the Fourth Of July they visit me and IN
sist upon my accepting a lot Of fire.
works. and about Christmas time they
give me presents Of tea or embroiders-d
work. or imported ornaments OF some
sort. Bear in mind. / nav had no pro-
fessional dealings with them for o.
years. and yet they don't forget
Philadelphia Record