The Minneapolis journal., 1902-09-16
Change Of Programme
By CYRUS DERICKSoN.

Ten days had passed, and the new vito
was cleaning house, when sewing ma
chine man came along. He hadn't told
half his story when Sarah decided that she
must have machine. The deacon's first
wife always had done her sewing by hand,
and the husband himself had regarded a
sewing machine as an invention Of Satan.
He promptly put his foot down on the
contemplated purchase, and Sarah as
promptly fell in a heap again. It was a
long three hours before she was about tf1s
house again, and upon the advice Of tfe
doctor the deacon bought the sewing ma
chine
A month later. when Sarah wanted new
shoes and was put off, she fell over for the
third time. On this occasion, however, the
doctors suspicious were aroused, and 50
were those of some of the women who had
| helped to draw her back from the grave. Il
was decided to be a case of sulks and
nothing more dangerous. The doctor
stated his belief to the deacon, and ths
| deacon agreed with him, but that didn't
mean that Sarah Ann would go out OF
! business. g.
The next fit she had lasted twenty-four
hours before the doctor was called and
the next thirty-six, and then Deacon Per-
kins realized that he had a problem to
deal with. It was evident that Sarah
would lie right where she fell for week
| unless something was done. He went to
the minister Ministers are not supposed
to be posted on stocks and bonds and
brick yards, but most of them have had
experience with wives. This one made q
suggestion.
Two wekes later that suggestion was
put into practice. Sarah Ann wanted q
bell on the front door, but the deacon
| promptly replied that all callers could
make themselves heard by pounding On
WI
! in one Of her usual fits, and the deacon
| cried out that she was dead at last and
rushed for certain neighbors. They came.
together with the doctor. The latter pro-
nounced the woman as dead as last
years burdock, and the women began
place
| There were three Of them, and they had
a good deal to say. They congratulated
the deacon with all their hearts on re-
gaining his freedom, and they married
him again to the Widow Lee. The doctor
| advised that the cheapest kind Of a coffin
should be purchased. AS the deacon bent
over her, he said he shouldn't have much
| of funeral procession and wouldn't shed
| any more tears than he could possibly
help.
Sarah Ann slipped off the bed and nads
for the broom sitting on end in a corner
Of the room. The deacon jumped for tha
door. but received couple Of whacks
before he could get out. In the yard he
was run twice around the henhouse and
into the kitchen before being brought to
| bay.
Sarah Ann, you're dead woman!' hs
exclaimed as he grabbed for the broom
| stick.
mo; I amt, either!'' she replied, al
she fought him off.
go back and behave yourself, and
don't disappoint me again. There hasn't
) been funeral in town for over year,
and If you come to life this way no woman
will lend you cup of sugar f1atiron.' IS
But Sarah insisted that she was alive.
But I want you to understand said
the deacon, anxious to test the remedy,
that shan't get no new cane-seat chairs
, for the parlor, as you wanted me to-"
For half a minute Sarah seemed on thu
, point of returning to her fits, but then
she braced up against the feeling, and,
seizing the rolling pin, she dashed it
through the nearest window and ex-
claimed:
"No; I won't die any more. I'll keen
right on living and smash out a winder
every time I git mad'
Lord! Lord!" Whispered the deacon ts
himself. And I thought had good
| thing of it,