davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-09-24
The Anti-Smoke Law,

There has been considerable discussion
as to what policy the District authorities
intend pursuing with the anti-smoke law
in view of the fact that soft coal must be
largely used in the city from now until the
anthracite strike is settled. Commissioner
Macfarland, president of the District board,
today made statement in which he says
the authorities must continue to enforce
the law. He does not regard this as hard
ship, as he says 1t has been demonstrated
time and time again that soft coal can be
used In such manner as to entirely COM
ply with the provisions Of the anti-smoke
statute.
The Commissioners have received recent
ly number of communications from the
owners OF apartment houses in which 1t is
stated that soft coal must be used in the
FURNACES this fall. Mahlon Groo owner of
the Roosevelt fats is one of those who
wrote to the authorities on the subject. He
said from present appearances he would
nave to use bituminops coal in his apart
ment house and he desired to know what
the commissioners would do with reference
to the smoke that would be emitted from
the chimneys In consequence
The matter was referred to the health
department, which has charge Of the en-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-09-24
Effect on the Laundries.

Because of the advance in the price OF
coal many washerwomen have notified
their employers that they will have to pay
an extra amount for their weeks launder-
ing, the advance being made according to
the size Of the wash and the amount of fuel
consumed.
Housekeepers who are unable to pay the
increase are reducing the bulk of the soiled
clothing to articles imperatively needed
and in some instances women who have
never before stood over the washtub and
board are doing their own laundry work. A
woman who has conducted a home laundry
for many years told a Star reporter that
the question of earning livelihood in doing
such work had become a serious one with
her, as it had with many others. She was
working for eight families up to a short
time ago, she stated, and with coal at dou-
BILE its former price she had found It i'm
possible to meet her bills at the end Of the
week. Thus far, she stated, she mad lost
the work of three families, and the others
are threatening to employ other people to
do their work-this because she had in
creased the price. Having but a small
amount Of cash capital, she said, she bought
her coal by the bushel and recently she
had been compelled to pay so cents for each
bushel purchased.
Many Of the colored women, It is said
will abandon laundry work and seek service
in private families. They say it Is impos-
sible to get fuel.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Would "Dam the Hogs" Too.

VvCuiO Lam t1VSSS bOCs
The Ozark Mountain (Mo.) News
tells story of an ex-Kentucky colonel
of the quality folks" sort whom he
once met in western Kansas. '"The
colonel was an enthusiast on the irri-
cation scheme that was sweeping over
Kansas at that time. He was so posi-
tive in his theories and so high-tem-
pered that few people cared to dis
agree with him. One day as he was
standing in front of the office talk
ing with several friends, Pink Bar
clay, that lives over on Snake creek,
came along, and after shaking hands
around turned to the colonel and said:
Colonel, I've got forty acres of land
lying close to Snake creek that want
to irrigate and would like to ask
your advice about it, Very well, sah,'
responded the colonel, My advice is
dam the creek I did do that said
Pink, and cut a ditch down across
the land, but I couldn't get rise
enough Then would dam the
ditch, sah,' replied the colonel. That's
Just what I did do said Pink, but
the hogs rooted holes in the banks.
What would you do about that?'
What would I do?' snorted the
colonel. I would dam the hogs, sab!
would dam the hogs!'"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
is GOOD FOR JEWELLERS.
Ping-Pong Hard on Watches, and the
Man Who Makes Repairs Profits.

Ping-Pong Hard on Watches, and the
Man Who Makes Repairs Profits.
ping pong is fine game" said a
jeweler, who does lot of repairing,
to New York Sun man. No outdoor
or indoor sport has ever given us so
much to do. It is surprising how many
persons have broken their watches
since the game became a fad.
: "You see, people play the game with
out removing their coats or waist
coats. In the excitement they forget
about their, watches, and the first
thing man knows his timepiece
bounds out of his pocket. Sometimes
it strikes the table, but wherever it
does fall the watch is damaged.
chat is not all. A player may tie
his watch to his pocket, but still it
gets out of gear. The constant jump
ing around and the swinging of the
arms disturbs the works so the watch
has to be brought to us to be regula-
ted.
II have had as many women's watch.
es as mems to repair. The women
are even more careless than the men.
Their watches dangle from their shirt
waists, and as a result the watch
jumps around like weathercock in a
gale of wind.
Surprising as it may seem, my in
come from repairing watches has al
most tripled since the craze for ping
pong began
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Had His Nerve With Him.

Il had a neryy one today" said
the bartender, according to the Phila.
delphfa record. "a country looking
zap, who had seen the free lunch sign
outside, came gawking in, and as soon
as he got his bearings made a dive
for the solid food counter. In a
minute he had made the picked tripe
dish look like thirty cents and had
put the crackers and cheese out of
business entirely. glued my eyes
on him and sung out, Hey, there!
Have q beer? He was too busy to
talk, but shook his head no. .Mebbe
some whisky says. Nope he says,
with his mouth full Of corned beef
sandwich. Well, say, he was SO busy
over there that thought 1t was up
to me to put y stop to it, 60 / says,
sarcastic like, How about a
bottle o. wine?, Much obliged, he
says, but when left home / prom.
Used the old folks I wouldn't drink
nothin','I was SO stunned / let him
get out without leaving his card. =, /.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
{ SUICIDE ON TfiE In cREA sE.5

Death ssems Isl 4 ave Row Terrors ln3
These Days. 9ssa3 4
The mania for self-d destruction ID
on sthe increase.
u; Life certainly presents, n most
countrie many more agreeable fea,
lures than It did 4 generation ago.
Yet the desire to abandon II. increases
yearly. The total number Of suicides
is swelling enormo usly. S. Is It because
Of the greater prevalence Of nervous
diseases? ST s!i: ISL is5 55s$s. :. IA
An English alienist, Mr.. Styles, has
been at some pains to Investigate this
subject, with wholly discouraging re.
suits. The story of his discoveries may
best be expressed in figures.
Some forty years ago the average
number Of suicides was, In Sweden,
one to every 95,O0O inhabitants; in
Russia, one to every 81, 900 inhab.
itants; in the United States, one to
every $4,000 inhabitants, and in the
great cities, like London and St.
Petersburg, one to every $1,000 inhab.
itants. It is plain that we made
QlSmal showing even Ineu.
In France, chosen for illustration
because it offers the most startling
revelations, Mr.. Styles found for every
100000 inhabitants, during the years
1S41 to 1S45, 9 suicides: from 1916 to
1850, 10 suicides; from 1861 to 1870,
13 suicides; from 1871 to 1875, is sui
cides; from 1870 to 1880, II suicides;
in 1889, 81 suicides; in 1898, %, and in
1894, 26.
From 1926 to 1890, the proportion of
suicides in Belgium has augmented
72 per cent; in Prussia, AL per cent;
in Austria, 23S per cent; in Sweden
and Denmark, ~ per cent, and IS per
cent respectively, and in France, 81
per cent.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

The bicyclist was scorching along
with his head down. The little one
had toddled out into the road, and
stood directly in his PATH The wo-
man saw them both, and was too
much frightened to move. A quick
witted man would have had 6me to
spring into the road and pull the lit
tie one out of the way, but the woman
seemed helpless. Suddenly she scream
ed. 1t was no ordinary scream, but an
ear-splitting shrek of despair. The
bicyclist was so startled that he look
ed seven ways at once, lost control of
his wheel, hit the curb, and, didn't
know where he was for fully ten min
utes. The child was saved. A wom-
an is not always so helpless as she
looks.-Utica Globe.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Metaphors Badly Mixed.

Few things are more joyous to, an
audience, than the mixed metaphors
of an orator. The Irish race is famous
for its contributions to merriment in
this particular. "You are" said late
lord mayor of Dublin, Standing on the
edge of precipice that will weigh on
your neck all the rest Of your days.
"The young men Of England" remark
ed an English clergyman, ARE the
backbone OF the British empire. What
we must do is to train that backbone
and bring it to the front" And this
is from q member Of parliament:
Even II you carried these peddling
little reforms, it would be only like a
flea bite in the ocean,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
At Home All Day.

"Why weepest thou, woman?"
"My lord will be buried this day."
my wife was buried yesterday. To.
morrow I must get me another"
Whereupon the widow shook the
ashes from her shining hair, dried
her eyes, and, looking into the face
of the widower, smiled.
Il will be at home tomorrow all
day." she said.-Smart Set,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
THE Z. 1, 'PI CD ], IF Re
MERRY JEsTs THAT WILL DRIVE
!: AWAY DULL CARE.
husband Knew What 70 Expect When
He Was Called Darling" Good
Scheme to Make Time Pass Away
Quickly.
Mrs.rNoah In 70 nate.

Noah, finding his wife weeping on
the quarterback, inquired what was
the matter. IS .5.$
I'm afraid people will say our
fashions came out Of the ark. she
sobbed. tx
Never mind" he returned, 1--WE can
have the apes to dine with us to-
night
Reassured by being thoroughly up
to date, she dried her tears and went
down to swipe some plumes OF the
ostrich.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Recoqnfzed the Sound,

It was her first ride in an automo.
bile and she was deeply interested in
the horn that was used to notify PEG.
pie to clear the way.
Papa" she said.
"Well?" he returned.
"Make it snore some more"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Why She Detested Il.

Again" complains the devoted
wife. Il am told that you have been
flirting with that odious Miss Mashem
on the piazza"
"Bah!" retorts the gay husband,
thinking to ridicule the suspicious Of
his wife. '.Eah!" he repeats.
1T isn't so bad" asserts the wife,
for man to be guilty, but what
detest is when he acts so sheepish
about it."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
An lnfallibIe Presentation

Hu iHiaii'piS TTesSTIPtIOHs
Patient-Doctor, tell me something
to make the time pass more quickly.
Just now it drags so that have moth
ing to think of except myself.
Doctor-Indorse a note falling due
in three months for bit more than
your present income affords.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Pleasantly Situated.

"Poor mani" said the lady visitor,
addressing one Of the inmates of the
insane asylum, don't you often feel
very sad to be shut up here?"
''Oh, no." the patient answered.
'"The lunatics who come to look at us
are generally very amusing"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
In 1eos q -

Mrs. Uptodate Ito maid)-Marie.
you need not set out the capsules
for Mr.. Uptodate's dinner. have re-
ceiyed a marconigram that he will not
be home until 10 o'clock, as his San.
tos-D umontobile has had . breakdown.
Judge. s
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
CHAPTER v.

A Leaf from the Historyiof Maude. q
n the ool-room next morning, the
two boys having been driven out and
Palomita. having isftsa u whispred
request. Allyn III looking ct Miss Eng
lish and It ~ lo1as boz HIS
fair Tree was hushsd. and his blue eyes
troubled on tho floor ~ hi chair
sWss III sombrsTo ~ his bootsd TT
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Appreciate Your BIessfnrs.

Let not the blessings we receive
daily from God make us not to value
or not to praise Him because they be
common. What would not blind
man give to see the pleasant rivers and
meadows and flowers and fountains;
that we have met with LEAK Wal
ton. 4 81 s;,Ss ssa# H Is
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Extravauant Wish.

"Have you selected q play for next
season e. ii; 81 III
mo-" answered the sensational &C.
tress; ''that is a matter Of some diff.
fculty. I would give q great deal II
! could find a playwright whose mag.
ination is as fertile as that Of my
press agent" ~
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
A Great Boomer.

n Great Boomer.
cts really astonishing-the bust.
ness success that young Calliper has
attained, and he's not much more than
little lad now"
''Well, when you come to think of it,
there's nothing better to boom bust.
ness"
Better than what?"
"A little 'ad'"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Sure to Be Prejudiced.

Friend-Don't> look so blue. You
have good case.
Jimsoa-No use. I'll lose. l know
I'll lose. Every man on that jury
either rented or bought a house of me
when I was in the real estate bust.
ness.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

IL was II:0V. ~
Eyes," she said, although the re-
mark seemed a little abrupt, II al
ways sleep we'll" Then she paused
and plaintiyely added in hopeless
murmur, when get a chance"
Whercupon the youth, who had
been overstaying himself took his
hat and softly stole away.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
6 Ms c:redlt III liz Z HIll..

No Credit ln the 1lll. ~
Pr. Jalap Well. YOU may thank
your fine constitution for pulling you
through; nothing else could have
saved you. 1T Is N
The Convalescent-Bu ] cannot SEQ
that you have made any reduction In
your bill for my fne constitutions
share In the cure. N, 3 ri
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

wide apart For the first time IN many
years he did not know what to do with
his hands. The girl watched him with
some amusement. lazily patient. walt
Ing for what he had to say. He cleared
his throat once or twice, let his eyes
wander about the room and finally
said, desperately: 81 !ss RS Il r
DO youdo you like teaching, Miss
English?" - ~.
She broke into a peal bf laughter, in
which he Joined ruefully. why, not
especially" she answered. "I Ike the
children, though. However, that is not
what you came to tell me-
Nc" he assented cheerfully, cit
Isn't. You see I'm placed in peculiar
position. Miss English. I don't want
to seem to be doing anything under
handed, yet must speak to you. Tell
me-" and here he frightened consider
ably, you wouldn't marry me, would
your"
of course not" was the ready re-
Spouse. TIA
mot if were to ask you in earn
est?"
mot under any circumstances, at all.
Don't be foolish
WELL" said Allyn, that clears
things up bit. can't rest under sus-
picion of seeking an advantage for my
self. OF course if you couldn't be in
duced to marry me, I'm out of the run
ming and am to be considered in the
light of cousin or something like
that
Lois looked at him with puzzled face,
her brows prettily drawn together, her
red lips little frightened. Now" she
queried, what are you trying to say?
You are worse than Teddy when he
has been breaking his word to me-"
Gust this" her visitor replied, sud-
denly taking the bit between his teeth.
II like you. We became friends when
I brought you here in the ambulance.
We are friends yet, aren't we? We
are? That's right. Now, I can't see
my friend deceived, or imposed upon,
or endangered in any way while
stand by and keep my mouth shut and
my hands still. I believe Maude is 60
ing to ask you to marry him."
"A light, faint as yet, but clear and
growing stronger, began to break,in on
her.
''He asked me last night" she said
simply.
"Ah! And you answered him?"
"Nothing-as yet"
"Then I'm not too late. I tossed
about a good deal last night thinking
of it. You mustn't say 'Yes'-you
mustn't"
"Why?"
'Now, look here, Miss English, I
can't rid myself of the idea that this is
a mean thing to do, but it must be
done. I'd rather you wouldn't ask me
that question and would take my word
for it that the thing wouldn't do at all;
but, since you have asked it, you have
a right to an answer and I won't shirk
it. Look on me as your only near kin
in all this wide country and believe
that in what I am going to say am
anxious to protect you from the con-
sequences of mistake made through
ignorance. am going to do some
thing that whips me worse than I was
ever floggeda at Elton. am going to talk
harshly about man who has been my
companion, if not my friend"
The girl pitied him, understood the
struggle through which he was pass
ing and admired the moral courage
that forced him on.
II understand you" she said softly.
IF it is anything 1spught to know, tell
me-" .a
ho
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Sill in the Family.

0e'' TT eHe dH5Iys
Il deeply regret it, sir, but honor
and my altered circumstances compel
me to release your daughter from
her engagement. cannot enter your
family beggar. In recent deal in
stocks lost my entire fortune
"Not bother word, my boy-not an.
other word. got it,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Fitted for the Choir.

Pastor-Your daughter is very hand.
some, Mr.. Smith.
Father-Yes, she is. I'm thinking
Of having her join your choir.
Pastor-That's good. Is she fine
vocalist?
Father-No, but she's got devil of
temper.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
There Wasn't,

Redd-He took several good-sized
sticks and beat his wife.
Green-I cannot believe he could be
guilty of such cruelty.
Redd-Cruelty! There wasn't any
cruelty about it. They were playing
golf together.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Honesty Vaccine,

Honesty Vaccine. "
Doctor" said the wild-eyed young
man, my wife is kleptomaniac. Do
you think you can do anything for
herr"
well, we might try vaccination"
replied the young doctor. "You know
that keeps people from taking things"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
The Blqqest of Tlps.

II tell you what" grumbled the
pessimistie waiter, people amt Civ.
ing tips like they used to in the old
days."
''That's right" replied the good-na-
tured waiter, facetiously, there was
Esau, for instance, who gave his
birthright for a mess of pottage."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Mo .vvondar.

Church-What makes your neigh.
Dor SO naughty to-day?
Gotham-Why, didn't you notice.
he was carrying home his own beef
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
WouIdn't Post BILLS.

Dear, DEAR" sighed Mrs. Nuliwed;
Il suppose I'll have 10 take this re-
ceipted bill down to the milliner my
SELF
"You can mail it, can't you?" asked
her husband.
mo, indeed. I've seen those large
signs stuck up all over the city which
read: Post no bills"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Not Too Much;

A woman likes to have her hus.
band treat her consid erately, but not
so considerably that people win take
her for his second wife. Puck.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
ThouqhtfuI 81 the Children.

II suppose" said Mr.. Olds, ''if 1
were to start smoking again # would
set the children bad example"
Il 1T would, indeed replied his
wife. It's thoughtful ands unselfish
of you to consider that
Eyes. 30 I've decided to send the
children right OF TO boarding school,
where they won't see me. /. rs Y
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Good for H|er.

\ The Living Church quotes this from
= Connecticut woman,s diary, dated
1870: We had roast pork. Tor dinner,
and and Dr. 81, who carved, held up 8
rib on his fork and said: D Here. il.
dies, is what Mother Eve was made
Of. Yes said Sister Patty, and IFS
from very much the same kind ct
critter. .''s
Wheels within Ri EEL ssnuth.
American reyoluti ON. &
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

4 Come man ars ~ Is icai that they
jrsfuss svsn q bsiisys TIE report q :
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Il Would Cool Them on.

Hewitt tell you. IT. too hot to @
to the theater. sss s. 4,
Jewett Oh. como along; the play
Will Be = frost anyway.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
How. 10 Judue.

11nnicus You cant Judge . man BY
The clothes he wears. a r. 4; IL II 4.
gynnic,is But you can ~ those his
vito wears. Il. H s3 GA IS 81 n
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

He (reproachfully)-Perhaps you
forget what happened yesterday. 1
was cut by my dearest acquaintance,
the one love best in all tho world:
in fo nf- s-f
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Touching
Borroughs-Who was he?

Slopay-D0nt you wish you were
Midas?
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

Il make 1t q point never to tall
more than ten minutes with any one
person"
80 as not to tell all you know.
suppose"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

She (coolly)-The idea! Do you
really shave yourself?
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

Loving Wife-Darling!
Suspicious Husband-Well. how
much?
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
Insult to Injury

bOrTOuSQS-duQ! everybody
touch turns me down.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15

Slopay-Everything he
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
A Gentle Hint.

It was 1880.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-08-15
The scorcher,s Deserved Fate.

Ito be continued.)
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1902-05-30
TO DEFEND THE USE OF ABsINTHE
Champions of the Deadly Drug Form
Society In Paris.

Marvels will never cease, In spite
of the general campaign against in
temperance and the abuse Of alcoholic
drinks, especially absinthe, company
has actually issued a prospectus In
gloriication of the green liquor.
1t is called THE General Union for
the Defense of Absinthe," and its OBJ
ject is to found in Paris. as well as III
the provinces and abroad, centers for
the purpose of combating the propa-
ganda carried on against intemperance
in general, and the consumption Of abb
sinthe in particular.
A perusal of the prospectus leaves
one wondering what madmen are
these, but the cat is let out of the bag
in the final clause, which refers IL
the rational defense of absinthe and
the interests it represents. The
whole thing thus turns out TO be
move on the part of manufacturers.
who are seriously alarmed by the
growth of the temperance movement