davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

Mr.. Bacon: "I see by this PAPER that
Ice one and one-half inches thick will
support a man." Mrs. Bacon: II always
said there was an enormous profit in
ice. John."-Yonkers Statesman.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23
An I~,o.sible Person.

Mrs. oueery: isn't she a member Of
your club?'
Mrs. Gadabout: Not any more. We had
to get rid OF her. or she would have dis
organized US"
Mrs. Queery: You don't AyT
Mrs. Gadabout: Yes. At one OF our ses-
sions We were discussing the Edrl
question. and she said the best way to solve
the problem was for all Of US to stay home
and do our own work.-Philadelphia Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

In New York.-"They'vs been married
nearly a year. and they haven't begun 70
doubt each otheg yet" o course not
They live in "A Harlem nat. whore there
isn't room for doubt."-Philadelphia Even
Ing Bulletin.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

We like to see the Right succeed,
No matter what betide. =. 4
The reason is that all Of u
Are always on that side.
PHILADELPHIA Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23
EyplRiHed.

Mamma: willie! What's the baby CT
ing for"
Willie: "oh, he's unsrateful: that's what
he is"
Mamma. "Ungrateful?"
Willie: "Yes'm. I jest showed him how
to est his cake and he don't appreciate
it."-Philadelphia Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

Uncle George: Come. Dick, why don't
you shake yourself together and get to
work at something? Industry. you know.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

My dear" she said to her invalid hus-
band. you haven't forgotten that seal
skin sadk you promised me. have your"
How can you think of such things" he
protested. with death so near to me?''
But, my gracious, Sealskin Is quite
fashionable for mourning. philadelphia
Record.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23
Tint Ma Enouxh.

He apparently got in with some very
people in Paris. 1 don't understand IT,"
why notT"
We'll. in the first place he couldn't speak
French"
.No. but his money could."-Philadelphia
Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23
Femiuine Financierin..

Femlnine Financiering.
He: You owe me ten kisses! Pay upi'
She: Explain. sir"'
He: II won them! You know very we'll
I wagered a dozen gloves against ten kisses
n won! r.
she: "Oh. but kisses. you know
He Chrmly): Kisses should DO paid Just
as religiousiy as any other debt"
She 0houghtfully): Just the same as q
note?"
YES"
'Or . checkT'
YES"
'Or-or . draft7"
Certainly
Then. you poor fellow. TIL give you 4
draft on mamma!"-Stray storieA
Good Excuse
81 don't understand why any wealthy zen.
tleman should object to giving up his box
at the opera for the accommodation OF
D-f--> Unu~~. ia 49, =.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

inexperienced and Anxious Mistress: The
new housemald. Maria, is a Catholic: but
I hope you will not allow any religious con-
troversy In the servants hail."
Cook with much dignity: You needn'.
have any fear. my lady. In really Ugh
class families religion Is never mentioned"
Punch.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

What IL heredity. mammal asked the
little girl. spelling the word out through
her falling tears and waiting TO write down
the meaning.
1T ism. how shall I explain IT. Oh"
said the mother. something you get from
your father or me- And the small child
wrote down on her paper OF homo lessons:
"Heredity-spanking."-Ti Bits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
MADE LIVING BY CRACKING WHIPS
Curious Trade Discovered by tho Police
of France

The Paris police have recently been
informed by one af the fraternity OF
whip-crackers that such a calling ex-
lists and claims recognition as one of
the professions" by the exercise OF
which men earn their livelihood in
France
Whip-crackers, it appears. are men
who possess strong wrists and are
willing to crack whips all day long. IL
required, on receipt of a suitable fee.
At the commencement OF the shooting
season. when the proprietors of neigh
boring demesnes are not good friends,
the one who bears ill-will to the other
engages a whip cracker, whose duty it
is to crack a whip so as to frighten
away all the birds at the approach of
the disliked sportsman and his friends.
The whipcrackers are also found
useful by farmers afflicted with dis
eased cattle which they cannot sell.
Having engaged whipcracker, they
turn out the sick beasts on the most
frequented highway they can find. The
cracker follows with his whip. osten-
sibly to guide the cattle, really to
drive them under the wheels OF car
riage, motor car or tram. This he
does by cracking his whip at the
critical moment so as to frighten the
beasts and drive them to destruction
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
HOME AND FASHIONS.
THINGS OF INTEREST TO THE
WOMEN OF THE HOUSEHOLD.
Parasols OF the Season Are Elaborate
Anairs-Two Handsome Costumes
Mrs. Roosevelt Wearing The Latest
rhing in Soats"-some Little Tips.


II there is a thing dear to wom-
ans heart and enhancing to her beau
ty it is lovely parasol. This season
the designers seem to have tried
themselves in bringing this artistic
creation up to the requirements of
feminine taste.
There is a parasol for every style
Of woman from the one who buys
Duchesse lace affair behandled with
ivory and snugly cased in long pale
green straw box adorned with lilies OF
the valley and "chouX" of white rib
bon, to the one who buys a simple
linen sunshade. For the conservative
woman 1t is joy to find the color and
form she likes the best-the quiet
fawn-colored parasol. For the pretty,
fresh girl. or her more wilted sister in
a soft linen gown, this modish parasol
is the thing par excellence. 1t has a
silk spun lining in pink or blue, or
any preferred color, and lace inser-
ton on the outside, showing the col
ored lining.
Then there are the exquisitely fine
embroidered grass linens. with ruffles
sheer and shimmering. Persian" fawn
silks come next: these are nothing
more than "chene" silks on which
blurred roses and peoples of various
colors are designed.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

The people of the two counties
south of Lacrosse. Wis, especially
near Prairie du Chen, have been for
years using gold-bearing quartz for
road making and house building,
thinking it was common stone. The
finding of heavy, paying vein of gold
on a farm of Mrs. n S. Dousman set
them right. By following up the vein
1t was traced for many miles around,
touching, in some places, quarries
where rock has been taken for years,
Lightning striking in the same place
during successive storms led Miss
Violet Dousman to think that metal
in some form existed there. Her in
vestigations led to the discovery OF
the gold
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
DOES BANNocKBURN STILL GALL ?
Is the sassenach Trying to Get Even
After Six Hundred Years.


After Six Hundred Years:
The Highlanders gathered in great
force in the House of Commons at
question time recently Four notices
were on the paper relating to the al
legged order to substitute the trews for
the kilt in the Highland regiments,
and when Col. Denny of Kilmarnock
defiantly aros. to interrogate the secre-
tary of war a cheer went up from the
Gaels on both sides of the chamber.
The Saxon minister. with bated breath.
replied that the Highland regiments
would retain the kilt for full dress,
and that instructions would be issued
to provide them with kits of khaki, or
some other invisible color, when on
active service, as is done in South At
RIGA.
Then up rose William Allan, YER
liable Lion of the North. With .
shake of his massive head and flowing
beard he cried across the floor in fierce
and dramatic tones: rs 1t the inten-
ton of the war Office that the distinc-
tive tartans of the kilt are to be abol-
ished in the Highland regiments, and
is this being done by the war office
In revenge for Bannockburn?"
The sudden and gusty outburst OF
the indignant Scot was too much for
the house. When the roars of laughter
and ironical cheers which followed had
subsidized, Mr.. Broderick sought to turn
away the wrath OF the honorable mem
Der by assuring him that of course the
distinctive tartans would be preserved
London Express.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Her Level Head.

"Of course" he said in an offhand
way, 1T goes without saying that
beautiful girl like you must have had
many offers of marriage"
She blushed prettily, and her eyes
seemed to say "Of course" but she
did not answer otherwise.
"And, of course" he went on, 81
wouldn't think OF asking who any Of
the men were or anything about them,
but | am interested in knowing how
they do it,
Then she reused herself.
Look here" she said. "Are you
trying to get hints how to propose to
me or to some other girl?"
Thus it was that she pinned him
down, as it were. and brought him TO
the point.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
EMBARRASSED THE CLERGYMAN
A:nister's Makeshift All Right UnNi
tho Maid ADnsared.

Asnisters Makeshift All Right Unki
the Maid Appeared.
A distinguished Episcopal clergy
man was once called on to ofiiciate at
fashionable summer resort church.
and finding only short surplice and
no cassock in the yestry, was very
much disturbed at the thought Of hay-
ing to appear in a vesture that to the
frivolous would look like white shirt
and trousers. But happy inspiration
came to him. Why not wear one of
his wife's black petticoats? The por-
ton that would show below the sur
plice would look exactly like the regu-
lation Cassock. and no one would ever
be the wiser. So he hurriedly sent
note to his wife in the hotel, and in
the nick OF time the petticoat arrived.
The makeshift turned out to be per-
feet success, and no one at a distance
could tell that he was not wearing
cassock. After the close of the SER
vice he decided to go out to the body
of the church without taking off his
robes, in order to greet some friends.
And he was soon the center of a
group of fashionable women. when a
green Irish maid from the hotel came
up, and in a loud voice said to him:
Yer Reverence, the missus stint me
afther her petticoat that we do be
wearin'. an | wuz to wait till ye take
it off. New York Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
GS00SGGSSSSGG: SeDSGSSSGGSS6D
g Fleddie and Fleddis Z
h. a.. COSTA. a.
% "0pyrsh" i"N 0S Daily story Fu0 'O' q
SSSSS4GSSH9HS:G GSGSSNNGHGS
By h. q. DA COSTA.
Copyright 1902, by Daily Story Pub. {

one above, cropping her way up the
smoke-laden steps. Up. up she went.
flaming and reached the top step. She
plunged into the burning room, crying
for her pet, and cropping for him till
she felt him in the corner. He licked
her hand feebly. then holding him fast,
felt her way to the window, her hair
on fire, her dress burning. but she did
not feel the pain. Up, up to the win.
dow, quilted in by fire, and then roar
after roar of horror went up from the
crowd below as they saw her reach it.
holding the dead dog tightly to her
The fire embraced the whole house
now. and it was shaking ominously.
What a bright light that was! She
could see long lane of gold reaching
far out in the sky, and she was taken
up to it, holding her Fleddie closely
to her. The fire hurt no more now.
How good she felt. The house leaned.
then toppled, falling amidst shower
of sparks. A long fame shot up in the
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Napo,.on Bonaparte.s wealth.

Napoleon Bonaparte's will. among
those of great men, affords the near
est parallel to that of Cecil Rhodes in
the fortune it bequeathed. He was
surely the richest exile since the world
began. From his lonely home at st.
Helena he bequeathed to his relatives
and friends $4O,OOO.00O. He had been
rich, in gold as in power, beyond the
dreams of avarice, and there must
have passed through his hands pri-
vate fortune such as mortal man has
rarely dreamed of. His exactions set
down at nearly 375,OOO,O0O which is,
after all but six times multiplying the
gift he secured for himself from the
Austrian treasury after Austerlitz. He
died forty times a millionaire.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
CHILDREN AT THE CORONATION
Space to be Set Aside In Westminster

Abbey for Them.
If the earl marshal carries out his
present intention one of the most in
teresting places in Westminster alb
hey on the day of the coronation will
be the "children's corner" space
which it is proposed to set aside for
the youthful little peers and peeresses
in their own right, who, though still
boys and girls, have a legal right of
which they intend to avail them
selves-of being present when Ed
ward VII. is enthroned on the stone
of destiny"
There are several boys in the peer
age who. owing to the death of their
father or some other relative. became
hereditary legislators before they
gave up the nursing bottle. or soon
after, and several little peeresses who
succeeded to their titles at an imma-
ture age These little peers and peer
esses, IN their coronation robes and
coronets, it is proposed to corral in
one group, which would make pref
ty picture; but think of the possibili-
ties, says the New York Mail and Elk
press. should the little folks ge. to
squabblng among themselves! The
earl marshal would better provide a
lord high wielder of the birch rod"
to keep the children's corner in order
during the long ceremonies.
AS the ages of the boy peers range
all the way from to 10, the older
ones may be set as monitors" over
them, the way they used to do at
school. A vast amount of property
will be represented by these children.
There is the Viscount Combermere,
| Is years old, and possessed of $4,000
acres, with three great country
| houses, one of them being the cele-
brated Combermere abbey; the Baron
/ Carbery, 10 years old, with an estate
of value in Ireland, and Lord Holm
patrick, with about 1000 acres to his
estate Among the big boys is the
! earl of Caledon, II years old. an
immensely rich youth, with 10000
acres to his fortune. Lord Camoys, a
/ year older, has an estate of $500
acres.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

make them otherwise is to first teach
them to say what they do not mean;
then they are punished for lying, when
the fact is, they have heard you do as
much many time. with no one to
punish you for 1t. So the mistress of
her home and her children, to say
nothing of her maids and. perhaps.
men. will do well to cultivate asssu-
ously broad, kindly, large way of
looking at and criticising the faults
and failings of all humanity, that she
may not be horror-stricken some time
at chance remark of one of her wee
tots, in which she can, IL she be quite
honest with herself, see the logical
result of her practices; not her preach,
ings.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Chic StrAppinK.

Instead of going out of fashion.
strapping is more in vogue than ever.
On the winter materials. it was at
tractive and useful-and on summer
fabrics it is pleasing and is a means
of holding seams in shape. as well
as being an ornament.
A new satin foulard gown, tailor
made. is strapped with broadcloth-
and the effect is stunning! The silk
has a blue background strewn with
white posies, and the strappings are
of blue cloth.
Shirt-waists show strappings applied
in various ways. They are put IN
seams and applied in designs. The
stitching is exquisite-when 1t isn't
the waist is dowdy as dowdy can be.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

Uncle and Aunt Melcher went TO
town to buy a new clock. Now"
said the dealer, here is something
very attractive in the way of clocks.
When the hour begins. bird comes
out of the top and sings Cuckoo
For instance. turn this hand to
o'clock, and the bird comes out and
sings Cuckoo three times
Don't that beat all?" cried Uncle
Melcher, enthusiastically. Mother,
let's have one"
mo, no." said his wife hastily.
THAT sort of a clock might do for
folks that have got lots of time, but
it'd take me half the forenoon every
day TO take care of that bird
Youth's COMPANION.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

Aubrey de We're. the aged English
poet who died recently, cared little
about his appearance. and even when
called upon to act as "best man" at a
wedding saw no reason for disregard
ing his shabby tweed suit and white
cotton umbrella in favor OF Wedding
garment. In later years he still chung
to his white cotton umbrella and on
one occasion electrified London by APP
pearing in Hyde park in Mary Ander-
sons carriage, at time when she was
at the zenith of her popularity, calm
ly holding up this dilapidated machine,
the sides OF which were ornamented
with long ragged Sits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Newest In Stocks.

Ribbons for neckwear, unless made
up into fancy knotted stocks. are evil
IDENTIFY passe. One might say that at
present nothing is considered quite so
chic as the separate stock, which is
merely shaped collar. BY no means,
however, is this a simple affair-quite
the contrary. If stock happens to
be made with dropping point in front
than the space so secured usually ex-
hibits an elaborate trimming of drawn
work of pretty applique.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

Sheer white linen stocks, curved out
under the chin and brought down in
front in a rounded or pointed effect.
frequently have scroll patterns inyert-
ed in this space. These are held to-
gether with fine lace stitches or per-
haps braids. Many others are orna-
mented with fine lace or embroidery
designs put on in applique, while those
which are handsomely embroidered
With white or colored cotton repre-
sent one of the smartest conceits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Childless Mothers

The wife who has passed her many
years of married life in childless moth
erhood, has lost from out that life a
greatness and pleasure that she may
not have realized at first, but that Is
brought home to her with redoubled
force and meaning when she has
passed the zenith and is coming to I'M
derstand that life is not perpetual
youth.
Keen anxiety and sorrow she may
have missed also. Yet 1t is also true
that "it were better to have loved and
lost than neved to have loved at all"
The childless mother has not known
the depths OF degradation to which a
child can bring its parents, nor yet
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
The Fashionable BIouse.

Nearly all the newest corsages have
a tiny basque in the back; sometimes
1t is formed by the ribbons OF the
ceinture. but it is always a basque.
nondescript as it may be.
For the street during shopping hours
a great many blouses will be worn
much trimmed with the fashionable
English embroideries. lace and tuck
ing. The marked change in their cut
is noticeable in the sleeve. which Is
more ample than last season. and in
the shoulders, which show less inclin
alton to sloping
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

Fools" he said, rush in where an
gels fear to tread. you know"
Yes" she answered; "by the way,
somebody was telling me the other
day that you once went into a house
where man was beating his wife
and tried to interfere. How did you
get that scar over your left eyer
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Easy to Get.

Have you a real smart all-over lace
jacket?
II you haven't, and want one, and
cannot pay the price in the shops
make one for yourself.
Get an eton pattern and cut and at
it. Finish with a lace or beribboned
edge. Use your skill with the needle
and your good taste and-presto! you
become the possessor of about the
same thing on exhibit in the shops.
You see, time and art and needle
craft and design must be counted in
the price of the garment you admire
in the shop.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
borrowed Jests-

Manager can't pay salaries this
week" Actor-"But must live.
"Oh, now, don't get bull-headed!"-
Life.
you shouldn't judge a man by the
cigars he gives you" remarked the
philosopher. Some one may have
given them to him."-Cincinnati Cor.
mercial Tribune.
so you wish to marry my daughter.
Do you drink or gambler" WELL"
replied the young man, I'm willing to
take a chance in the marriage lot
ry."-Indianapolis Sun.
"Daddy's out Their in the hall, an
he says the DEVILS to pay!'" "Tell
him not to worry over it," replied the
mother; the devil won't be hard on
his own!"-Atlanta Constitution.
THAT girl can't talk a lI,,le bit"
'Is that so?" Quite true. The only
thing she said to me the whole even.
ing was No and | had to propose to
her to get her to say that."-Stray
Stories.
Jaggles-Do you think that minister
has profited any by visiting all the
gambling houses? Waggles-Surs
thing. He's learned where to redeem
all the chips he finds In the collection
basket.-New York Sun.
Miss Shapely (as she misses her
drive at the second tee and fallsp--
oh, Fred, come and help me. know
my ankle is turned. Fred DOCKING
down admiringly)-Yes. and mighty
we'll turned, too.-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
The Rest If the Arrument.

Look at the birds in the trees. ="
said the man who wants to keep
house; they wouldn't think of living
In a crowded tenement.
YES" answered his wife. "but look
at the ants. They always live in an
apartment house. And every one knows
that ants are smarter than birds"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

"My brain is on fire." tragically ex-
claimed Mrs. Bob, as she threw her.
self down upon the sofa.
why don't you blow it out?" alb
sent-mindedly replied Bob, deeply abb
sorbed in the evening newspapers.
And then he lodged a flying hair
brush.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

has she known the rulfilment of great
est love and bliss. Neither has she
known the anguish of the sting OF
death, when her fondest hopes have
been laid low. She has escaped great
care and responsibility, but she has
lost from her life in unalloyed Joy
more than she has escaped of sorrow.
The American Mother.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

BEG pardon" said the rude young
man, gathering his features together
again, Il simply couldn't suppress that
yawn."
Don't mention il" replied the bright
girl. BY the way, that reminds me;
l visited tAe Mammoth Cave this
spring"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12
Tho Latest Thing in Coats.

The newest modification of the Elton
or bolero jacket is a jauuty little az
fair termed the coffee coat" or Mon
te Carlo coat" the attractive features
of which have already won the favor
of the First Lady of the Land" Mrs
Roosevelt. who has appeared on sew
eral occasions wearing a wrap Of this
type. Taffeta silk is best adapted u
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

81 am writing story of a strug-
Cling inventor"
1T won't do" answered the abrupt
ly critical friend. Inventors don't
struggle nowadays. They let the people
who are eager to buy stock do the
struggling"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

Isn't it awful how thin Mr.. Hen
peck is now" remarked Mrs. Cable
to her husband, land he used to be so
stout"
Perhaps" chimed in little Willie,
remembering his trouble with the BIZ
cycle tires-"perhaps his wife forgets
to blow him up regular, like you said
she useter."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-12

The Juice of a lemon taken in hot
water on awakening in the morning is
an excellent liver corrective and is
better than any anti-fat medicine in.
vented.
The finest OF manicure acids Is
made by putting teaspoonful of lem.
on juice in cupful Of warm water.
This removes most stains from the
fingers and nails.
To prevent mustard plaster injur-
ing the skin mix the mustard with
the white of an egg.