The Saint Paul globe., 1902-03-30
Yad His Nerve
: = With Him

| He sat in the hotel smoking room. The
air was blue, but the men were happy
+! happy and reminiscent. He stretched out
his legs, thrust his hands deep into his
! pockets and between the puffs spun this
| yarn:
| For dead cold, icy nerve, 1 had always
| thought we travelling men took the cake.
! I thought our right there was none to dis
pute. But the prettiest game of bluff I
| ever saw was put up by a man who was
not drummer, but merely an OVerWorked
! bank clerk who had applied for a leave OF
absence ana gCne South to recuperate. He
had drawn a certain sum for the trip and
/ resolved not to exceed it. FOolishly he
mad neglected to buy an excursion ticket
arguing that he might want to return by
a different route. And then, as a mat
ter of course, he found that he had spent
his money, not wisely, but too well.
"All this | learned later on. My ac-
Quaintance with him began on the train
on one of the Southern roads when he
asked me to stake him to enough to see
him home
Presently the conductor came along,
! The impecunious one, his hat cooked over
one eye, was peacefully sleeping in one
corner Of his seat, leaning toward an open
window. The conductor shook him. gently
at first so that he stirred, and his hat
dropped further over his eye, but he did
",
g Come sir, your ticket, pIeaser
"At that the impecunious one awoke
with a big start. His hat flew out Of
| the window, and he flew into rage. He
sWCre at the conductor, roasted him up
and down, him and his fOre-fathers into
1 the third and fourth generation, What
did he mean by waking him in that way?
Didn't he know that rest was inevitable
to an invalid: That such sudden, rude
oT ioJ,+ ha
heart Were his nerves of no account?
And now he has lost his hat, and would
catch his death of cold. 1t was outrage
Gus
THE conductor bowed before the storm,
and when it was somewhat abated, offered
TO replace the hat at the first stopping
place.
And now, sir, let me see your ticket.
Why, you blankety blamed idiot you,
| all my tickets, not only on this road buc
| straight through to Philadelphia, were
/ in the lining OF my hat, and you knock
| ed it out OF the window. I'm in a fine
| fix now. L haven't enough with me to
| buy fresh set. This piece of idiocy will
| cost you your job. I'll report you to the
| company and teach you to be more care
| full how you Startle nervous men
| THE conductor tried to soothe; offered
| to take him through to the end of his di-
| vision But the lmpecunious One would
/ not be appeased. Much good it would do
| him to be landed in some little nearby,
| one-horse Southern town, hundreds of
| miles from nowhere. He wanted to get
! through to Philadelphia He must get
| through. He had an appointment there
| that was worth thousands of dollars
| Finally the conductor, by this time bad
/ ly frightened, promised to get him tick
| cts or passes all the way through, and
| the Impecunious One subsided. And to
| the end of that road the conductor, hav-
| ing replaced the departed hat, maintained
a "a
| have wrung tears Of blood from a stone
| And it was only bluff, after all. So
| well carried out that the conductor was
completely taken in, and the rest of us
| rubbed our eyes and wondered whether
| the Impecunious Ones attempt to touch
/ US was not, after all, a dream.
Later on, travelling over the same road.
told the conductor how he had been
| worked. And he said he knew it, for
| shortly after the trip he had received a
| letter and a check, the former confess
! ing the fraud, the latter paying him the
| full price for the passage. ge.''-Philadelphia
| Press.