Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-23
BITS OF WASHINGTON LIFE,
MinOr scenes and Incidents sketcbca
on the Spot.

@1 Nk0NChnH
on the Spot.
Pension Commissioner Ware and his as
~sistants have been restored to their normal
mental equilibrium and the country is re-
sonably safe. Mighty close call. though.
For several days recently the pension stan
was In a dazed condition. A letter was
received from a pensioner in Illinois in
which was written: 81 am now getting a
pension Of $50 a month. Recently the Lord
has prospered me and ] do not think I
should get so much money. / gave my
services to the country and I think
should have some pension. Of course, but I
think $50 a month Is too much. Is there
any way I can have my pension reduced or
suspended while l enjoy the prosperity that
Is mine at present7'
Could 1t be true7 The letter was read
and reread. and every member OF tho bu-
reau stood about in speechless wonder.
Surely there must be something wrong with
the writer. After determining that tina
man is really on the rolls the pension com
missioner wrote to the special pension ex-
aminer In the district In which the man
lives and asked him to investigate. This
Is the answer the pension examiner sent I'm
reply:
Il have the honor TO inform you that the
person who applied for a reduction in his
pension is now in the insane asylum at this
place and has been for som time"
The bureau hesved a mighty sigh OF re-
lief and settled down to routine business.
Someone asked representative Cushman
the other day what sort Of nerve food he
took in order to give him the temerity 20
make his asbestos and hand grenade"
speech attacking the rules Of the house.
Well replied the lanky Washingtonian in
the same drawl in which his remarks were
delivered in the house, ut was lust this
way. I'm mighty tired OF fighting the dem
ocrats out in my state half the time In or
der to get elected to congress and then
spending the other half fighting the COM
mittee on rules in order to get recognition.
so l Just thought l would say something
not enough to burn an opening for myself"
There is nobody in the house more gall
liant than Bob" Gordon OF Ohio, saws the
Washington Post. There is nobody hand
somer, either, but that is a matter that
goes without saying.
The other evening representative Gordon
was one OF a pleasant party. All the ladies'
were throwing boquets at womanhood in
general, Gordon, as becomes an agreeable
and handsome bachelor, asserting to every
thing that they said.
But, Mr.. Gordon" remarked one Of the
ladies, you haven't told us yet what YOU
think Of us"
II think with the bible,' promptly re-
piled the gallant Gordon, that man was
made a little lower than the angels"
At present 1t is said there are but three
women in Washington who are thoroughly
competent as social secretaries. Miss Belle
Hagner, VIII served as Mrs. Roosevelt's
secretary during the past season; Miss
Hunt, who acted in the same capacity for
Mrs. Root, the wife OF the secretary of war,
and Miss Johnson, who served Mrs. Knox,
wife of the attorney general, and Mrs.
Payne, the wife of the postmaster general,
are the three who are regarded as author.
tiles. These women have made a study OF
society. They know the inside history OF
all the people one is likely to meet in the
upper circle. For this reason they COM
mand good salaries during the season. The
fact that they have not the time to serve
all those prominent in Washington is the
cause of the lamentations of the cabinet
ladies who are without social guides.
Colonel ID. r. Anthony, of Leavenworth,
Kan, has been visiting Washington, this
being his second trip to the national capt.
tai. The first was forty-one years ago,
when the colonel called on Lincoln and was
appointed postmaster of L~eavenworth. This
time his mission was in connection with the
same office, which his son now holds, and
the old gentleman is working for the young
mans reappointment. Colonel Anthony
has been a prominent figure in Kansas poll
itics for over two-score years and It 1,
therefore remarkable that never but twice
has he been in Washington.
President Roosevelt has acquired that I'm
portant and absolutely necessary knack Of
greeting a caller, ascertaining his business,
disposing OF 1t and bowling him out without
loss Of time, and without giving offense to
the visitor. Here is a long winded man
with no mission at all except to talk to
the chief executive and take up his time.
81 Just called" he starts in, ito pay my
respects, and"
81 am delighted to see you" interrupts
the president with emphasis on each word.
II should have been sorry to have missed
you" With that he smiles pleasantly, BOWS
and moves on TO the next visitor.
This happens to be a stranger, a tall man
with his ten-year-old son.
II am Mr.. Blank?" says the tall man.
"Did you get my letter."
The president repeats the name and then
admits that he does not believe that he has
received the letter in question.
st contained a poem that / wrote about
you," says the caller. II dare say that Mr..
Cortelyou has IT,"
"Oh, l am so glad to have a poet call to
see me" says the president. Then he stoops
over, pats the boy on the head and shakes
his little hand. And this is your little
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