The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-22
CLEVER LITTLE STORIES.

A standing joke for years among actors
has been an expression about carrying
an audience along with ones company.
''I shall carry my own band and OrCEes-
ira with me next. season. says man
ager in discussing his plans. Better
carry your own audience too,'' replies
a listener. But there is on record one
example of a managers doing that very
thing. Some years ago John H. Mech
put on his son as q star in an old COM
edy called arabian Nights" The per-
Torrance was bad and the audiences
were grotesquely small But Mech was
undaunted He had decided to bring his
son before the public notice or die in the
attempt. The last stand Of the tour was
Lancaster, ". Y, a village of about 8, 0OO
population lying ten miles outside Of
Buffalo The day Of the performance
Mech came to a young man in Buffalo,
named Everson and requested his pres
ence at the performance SO EversOn
journeyed to Lancaster. When he en-
tered the theater there were about 200
persons, all in evening dress, in the
house. EversOn afterward said that he
never saw a worse performance in his
life and never more enthusiastic audi
ence. Almost every line met with
hearty laugh or boisterous applause. At
the conclusion Of each act the perform
ers were called before the curtain Still
wondering. Everson walked out to the
house after the performance Mech met
him and told him that two special troll
ley cars were. waiting to take the audi
ence home Are all these people going
back to Buffalo tonight?" asked Ever
son. "Oh, yes" answered Mech, 81
brought them with me. I was bound to
have an audience" "Weu, what-what
were the actual receipts tonight, if I
may ask?" continued Everson. 1.-TWO
dollars and twenty-five cents" replied
Mech. You see, I couldn't charge nv
guests" And the entire audience en-
tered the cars that Mech had chartered
and returned to Buffalo.
One day, in a London tobacconist's
shop, Sandow, the strong man, was hand
ed some change and in the middle Of it
he saw something that looked like a.
bad shilling. he pushed it back across
the counter. Il think that one is bad,
he said. Nonsense said the shoDkeen-
er, with an increduIous air. He took IN
the shilling and tried it in the little brass
coin tester that was screwed to the side
Of the counter. Then he rendered If
again. Its quite good" he said. al
can't bend it. SandOw smiled and took
1t between his finger and thumb. lyon
can't bend it! May I try?" he asked.
certainly" said the man, with grin.
me strong man pressed the tip Of his
forefinger toward the tip of his thumb,
and the spurious coin bent like tissue
paper well" said the tobacconIst
dumfounded. TT looks like a wrong 'un
after all! Perhaps you will accept an
other?,' and Sandow did.
Sir Chihchen IofengluT1. forrar,,,
China's ambassador to Great Britain and
now transferred to st. Petersburg. is.
credited with being witty as well al IN
telIectual. Being shown over a fitting
SHOP at Birmingham not long ago, his
attention was called to a riveting ma
chlne. Yes" said his excellency. at
Is riveting my eyes at this moment -
Inese are pigs, your excelIency," re-
marked his guide. speaking Of the raw
material from which tubes were being
made "And see the pigs became gaug7
ages as usual" replied the celestial.
pointing to pile Of tubes living near
IN the ammunition works Sir Cbibcben
was informed that any employee discov-
cred with matches would be at once dis
missed. 81 suppose the same thing noteh+
happen if they were not discovered ,, vas
the ambassadors comment.