Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-03-08
~ Tea-TabIe Salad. -

5 II Tea-Table Salad. -
C-~--~-~-~~~-~-~-~~-o~-~-
Papa, what is a diplomatist
Amy man, my son, whose Wife re-
spects him. Life.
There are $50 persons killed and
5000 injured by traffic accidents on the
streets Of London each year.
Wigg-"What beautiful nose she
has" Wagg-"Yes. that's her scentcr OF
attraction. Philadelphia Record.
So many persons are operated upon
every day that it is becoming quite a
distinction TO go to the grave all i'll one
piece.-Atchison Globe.
One on Him.-Husband-" How long i
it since I've been to church, Wife
DO you mean to say yeu've forgotten
our wedding day?'-Brooklyn Life.
They say she has been very success
full in her married life"
Yes. 1t has been nothing but a sue
eession of honeymoons. Detroit Free
Press.
Crush.-1There was a crush at tht
wedding, l supposeT' Crush? Why
the ushers had TO form a flying wedge II
order TO get the bridal party TO the al
| tar!'-Iife.
Marriage Not Failure-Old Friend
Was your daughters marriage sue
| eess?" Hostess-"Oh, a great success
! She's travelling in Europe on the ali
mony."-New York Weekly.
TOmmy-'POp, what is scale OF
Tommy's Po9-"A scale of prices. my
son, is usually about twice as much as
the scale of weighing. '-Phiadelphia
Record.
The Two-Legged Kind-First Politi
clan-They want to introduce voting
machines DOWN in my ward" Second
| POlitician-"We've had them walking
around in our ward for years. "-Balti
more American.
In the Year 205O.-Young Man-"Are
you a soldier?' Old Man-"Yes, sir;
have fought fifty years in the South AT
Iican war and my father and GRANDPA
Their both spent their lives helping t
lick the Beers. Ohio State Journal.
OUR NEW ISLANDS.
A native of distant st. Croix
Hailed ship with the cry, ship ahoix!
has u. Sam bought this iSleE
| The reply: Il should smile"
Set that natice to dancing with joix.
| Philadelphia Press.
Il wish / could hit on some scheme,
said the merchant, Ito make people stoI
for a moment. | think it would hell
business" I've got it," put in his
friend. Put up a sign Look out fol
paint, and I'll bet my salary against
penny cruller 80 men out of 100 will
stop to see it it's dry. baltimore News
Judge Craig Biddle was escorting +
visitor to Philadelphia over the city, ant
as they passed the penitentiary the Wis
itOr inquired blandly:
Judge, is that a new distillcry?'
-, Not exactly" answered the judge
but It is rectifying plant. "-Philadel
phia Times.
'As to my merit said the young mar
who was asking the ladys father fol
her hand, you will have to take me al
my face value"
Well" answered the fond father
you'll have to drop in later in the day
The market quotations on brass are no
out yet. baltimore American.
A Yorkshire vicar was teaching hi
Water" The children, however. wer
| dull and stOlid, and at last the despair
ing vicar exclaimed:
Nov. children, try again. Littl
drops of water and do pray put a lit
tie spirit in it. "-Household Words.
Jinks-"See here, old boyi You ought
| to do something to reduce your flesh
You are becoming fearfuly Stout
Minks-"Say, Jinks, you are about the
| fortieth friend who has made that of
| fensive remark today, and I'm getting
tired of it. 1t worries me-"
! Jinks-"That's all right. Worry re-
duces tlesh."-New York Weekly.
whats the matter, little boy?" in
quired the kind lady, stopping before &
sobbing urchin on the street
II got n boil on my neck" whim
pered the boy.
Yes, but just think how many boils
Job had"
Il know. but think Nv tn pashence he
had, too!' replied the boy.-Ohio State
Journal.
lee Will Stay -Housekeeper-'T
| Will be very cheap next summer, won't
! 1t" Iceman-"Well, / don't know
mum. You see, we've got a good dea
of dear ice left over from the year be.
fore, and wen have to sell that first be
cause it might spoil, you know, and I'm
afraid by the time the old stock is gone
! the cheap ice will all be melted.-New
| York Weekly