Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-04-10
A MARK" FOR BAD MONEY.
The Sad Experience of an Unobservant
New York Man.

New York Man.
Thompson thinks that he gets more
bad money than any other Harlem
tlathou>e dweller. His wife says there
is not the least doubt of II. Thomp-
son has become convinced that he
would never be success as counter
| feiter's assistant He is never able
TO pass on" any of the bad quarters,
| plugged dimes and Canadian half-dol-
lars which come to him so readily.
He gets bad quarter from street
car conductor one morning and makes
no protest, for he does not know that
he has II until some one refuses to
take IL. When he tries To give IL back
TO the conductor the next morning he
gets it back promptly, with bit OF
sarcasm for interest. Dimes with holes
in them are Indignantly refused by
newsboys or accepted for a penny pa
per with the remark: Yer wouldn't
expect any change for holy dime,
would yer?"
Thompson has fashion of con6ding
In his wife, and every time he gets n
fresh piece of bogus money he tells
her about II. She thinks 1t good
joke, and her laughter is harder to
bear than the scorn of honest shop
keepers on whom he tries to pass the
bad coins.
You want to be careful, John" his
wife said the other day. when he was
about to start for Philadelphia. They
arrested a man over there the other
day because he had a bad half dollar
In his pocket"
1t made him nervous. for he was
morally certain that a search OF his
person almost any time would reveal
more or less coin that had never come
from government mint He escaped
arrest and on the journey home de-
cided to look over his money. There
was the usual collection In his small
change pocket and he looked at IA
lead quarter In amaZement. II would
not have fooled a child. He was not
Indignant, however, until he looked
over his small bills. Among the "fives"
he found one that had an unfamiliar
look. There were Tvs" In the cor
ners. He had noticed them when he
took the bill. lie looked at the print
ed matter In the center and nearly ex-
pired when he read: Good for i've
highballs at the Green Dragon"
That was one bad-money accident"
he called them all accidents about
which he did not care to tell his wife.
She knew that he had never touched "A
drop of liquor In his life. but then she
might be suspicious of late beginning.
Besides. he wanted to revenge him
self on her for the many jokes she had
made over his carelessness. He was
still thinking about 1t when he got
home. She greeted him at the door.
"Oh, John" she cried, that dear Mr..
Sllverman called last night and he was
so sorry to find you away! lie was
interested in our mission work. though.
and, do you know. he put S. in my
savings box for the Christmas dinner
for the poor. He is such a nice man.
why don't you ask him to dine with
us?
John looked at the savings box and
saw with JOY that corner of the nice
young mans donation was sticking out
of the slot. He extracted 1t carefully
and replaced 1t with the green paper
which called for five Philadelphia
"highballs" His wife was not look
ing.
A week later, says the New York
Tribune, she told him how the women
OF the sisslon had opened their boxes.
and that there was more than enough
to feast the poor under their care. She
said not word about the bad "V."
THAT reminds me-" he began. you
wanted me to ask young Silverman to
dine"
well. guess you needn't bother"
she said with some nervousness. 81
heard today that he was awfully fast
and don't want you to know men
who drink"
Thompson chuckled.
by the way" she added, II didn't
have quite as much money to turn In
as some Of the other women, so | put
In 50 for you. Can you let me have 1t
now? I've got some bills to pay In the
morning"
Thompson grOaned.