davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
4 f. tx Ak!:9M = !! ) a

Help.
"Well, SIR" said the proprietor,
what can 1 do for you?"
The humble clerk looked at the
floor, and after hesitating a moment
said very meekly:
winter is coming on, Mr.. Hard
digger, and-and 1 have four children
to support, and have come to see
if you will please"
ooh, yes. Certainly. If 1 hear of
anybody that wants to adopt few,
I'll send him around. Good-day.
Never hesitate to call on me person
ally when Things don't go right
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Wise Father.

Thought your dad wasn't going to
send you back to college?"
Yes, dad did kick on the expense,
but threatened to stay at home and
help run the business, and he decided
college would be cheaper" Detroit
Free Press.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
ALnnalord In Gloom.

Wife-Who was that who called?
Husband-One of my tenants came
to pay his rent.
did he pay it?"
EYES,"
"Then why do you look SO gloomy?"
"He didn't say word about want
ing five or six hundred dollars worth
Of repairs"
"What of -it?" fl
"That shows that he's going to
leave."-N. Y. Weekly.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

lAAS Jul ~ VI Ell
ergy toward the
end, when people
b e g a n calling
each other names.
Most of the
New York dis
tricts We're ger
rymandered" so
successfully that
defeat for one
side in the con-
gressional ca NJ
paign was fairly
C e I t. a i n. Still,
there was fun in
some of the sure
n / &, + rictc Thn
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
No Cause for Complaint

II really shall have to leave this
hotel" said the weary man to the
proprietor. There is baby in the
next room to mine, and he cries all
night
II don't see why you should com
plain" said the proprietor. "His ia
Their and mother have him in the same
room with them, and they haven't
said a word. "-Tit-B Bits.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Possibly True.

Mamma Ito friend who is lunching
with her)-I don't know why it is, but
/ always eat more when we have COM
many than when we're alone.
Tommy (helping himself to third
piece of cake)-I know why it is
cause we have better things to eat
Brooklyn Life.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
A Few Facts

IT'S not the man whose feet are large
Who makes the swiftest sprinter;
'Tis not the girl with temper hot
Who best endures the winter;
IT'S not the hen that cackles loudest
That makes the steadiest layer;
Ills not the biggest head of hair
That makes the football player.
IN Y Times
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

Mr.. Moper lending very uninter-
esting story about himself)-And all
that long, dreary time, you cannot
possibly imagine how much l bore!
She (wearily)-Oh, yes, I can in
deed!-Punch.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

patch in connection with the New
York World. w. r. Hearst conducts
the New York Journal, which he now
calls the American" in connection
with the Chicago paper of the same
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
What They Were Made For.

Smarticus-Were those clothes you
have on made to order?
Spartacus-Yes, indeed.
SmarticusI thought they surely
weren't made to wear.-Los Angeles
Herald.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Well Qualified.

"You have called in response to our
advertisements" said the patent medi
cine man.
Eyes; you want man who can
write your advertisements, l believer
said the serious-looking caller.
That's what we want. What ex.
perience have you had?"
i've been g writer of fiction for Il
rs."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
A Convenient Creed.

II will give you a breakfast if you
will saw this wood"
I'm sorry, lady, but my political
principles won't let me do it,"
'What do you mean?"
"I'm not a believer in reciprocity"
N. Y. Times.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
somethinr Needed pulllnp.

Sufferer can't stand it any long
er; I'm going to the dentists this in
slant to have this tooth out.
Scientist-Nonsense! Your tooth
doesn't ache; it is only your imagi-
nation.
sufferer-Then I'll have him pull
out my imagination Bits.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
An Awful Fate.

Full many mortal, young and old,
Has gone to his sarcophagus.
Thro' pouring water icy cold
Adown his warm oesophagus.
-Chaparrel,
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

II love you more than l can tell!"
lie exclaimed, passiohately.
well" she answered coyly, "thcy
say actions speak louder than words"
--Someryille Journal.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
His Form, BOOK,

"You say that little scrap book has
cost you hundreds of dollars!"
"Yes," answered the sad-eyed youth.
"But there is nothing in it except a
lot of tabulated horse race informa-
ton"
'"That's all. It's an edition de hard
luck. "-Washington Star.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
A Business Mans Tribute.

1ou admire that musician:"
Very much" answered Mr.. Cum
rox.
"For his compositions or for his
performances?
Neither. For his nerve in charg-
ing IS a seat. Washington Star.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Different Standards.

The price of coal will take turn,
And downward start to creep;
And what last year would have seemed
dear
( This winter will seem cheap.
Washington Star.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

The most interesting man in New
York, next to Morgan, has written a
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Not sn Ind

First Boarder = Don't you think
you get less to eat in this house
than any place you were ever in?
Second Boarder = Why, no. It's
very good.
''Um. AS matter of curiosity,
where did you come from?"
"a sanitarium."-N. Y. Herald.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
The Fight for Ritua1i.m.

New York Episcopalianism rapidly
approaches bitterness similar to that
which led John
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Reyised Version.

Little drops of water,
Little grains of sand
Make the milkman's and the grocer's
Bank accounts expand.
-Somerville Journal
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

Humorx of the Campaign.
1t has been a very gloomy and
apathetic political campaign, with a
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

The Play Is Not the Thing.
The most talked of theater in New
York is one that denies old Shakes.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Where Enith Eni1ed

wondrous faith healer one day
Had to keep all his patients at bay,
While he hid in his booth
With a riotous tooth,
Which his faith couldn't stop. strange t
say.
life
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

ES&SE5ROF. ANDRE of the Lyons university reputed to
3 m E be gaining ground with his for making Latin
81 W the universal language of the future 1t would
A&J3S that the learned professor has with
&ZS1 cordial and that he hopes cat least make
the generation before allows Latin the
curriculum OF education His strongest favor OF his
theory the fact that still spoken language
the Catholic church,
tongues Prof Andre not hopeful
inducing the world accept the Latin Virgil Tacius will
be content he lives the "dog Latin OF the medieval schools
become medium diff
ferent
Prof Andre will tell is like ignorance mpernence
to suggest that the English language by of becoming the
common tongue OF the human But make the suggestion
all seriousness Many things have tended result
principal factors the
and its mulh incapacy adopt the languages of the with
whom nterminge generations
red their enterprises language
those who trade with them have been forced learn that language
at least to understand in kind Of IN EVERY CONsD
ERABLE TOWN THROUGHOUT THE WORLD THERE
WILL BE FOUND MANY NATIVES WITH SOME KNOWI-
EDGE OF ENGLISH, THOUGH IT BE THE VARIETY
KNOWN AS "PIGEON."
In Holland Belgium France Germany Sweden
mental countries the English among the people
that is almost uperhuous for Anglo Saxon travelling there
know the language of the country The dock aborers Antwerp
the conductors every girl
and Sweden know something English At such cosmopolitan
of pleasure Ostend Trouvle Nice
constantly hearing of foreigners using English the
tongue they know common and only the other day we saw num-
Der of young Swedish naval officers being waited upon hotel in
Have by French had speak English
they could recently overheard New York
restaurant Chnaman and Frenchman chatting successfully in
pigeon English and have possession letters from children
in Italy, Persia Japan written English which would be credit
any Ango-Saxon schooboy.
In universal language the desderatum is neither grace
eloquence but praccab and assuedy the English
is in
manknds instruments form of pigeon English dog English
you WILL become the vehicle OF intercourse between the
all lands Imagine the Of mind which could
the teaching Of Latin to John Cnann Hong Kong
the Ham in Africa the average Anglo
SOCIOLOGY hoping that when these three meet they be
together this tongue of the ancens! We know Of
wto long ago. talked Latin for whole afternoon
with French priest Geneva the speech they had in
But Prof Andres of the Roman Catholic church
whatever this only touches question Of higher
scholarship and high scholarship which will uni
language daily relationship Of people who forced
o find of talking another.
to
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
A Fair Exchange,

Editor (Squashville News)-See
here, Mr.. Dolan! You delivered me a
load of hay for the six years subscrip-
ton you owed for my paper.
Mr.. Dolan-Oi did!
Editor-Well, my horse won't eat
that hay, b'gosh!
Mr.. Dolan-Well, my goat won't eat
your paper, be gobs!-Puek.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
Delfcately Put,

She was describing an exciting in
cident.
Il completely lost my head" she
said.
IF you are as careless of yourself
as that" he returned, perhaps you
would be willing to spare your hand.'
Chicago Post.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

Papa (reading the bad reports OF
his children in schooD-It is awful
that we should have such stupid
children.
The Boy-But, papa, where should
the smartness come from in our fam
Undergraduates Blaetter.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
WOMEN SHOULD SHOW AN
INDIVIDUALITY I'm DRESS.
By MISS ELLEN BEACH YAW,
American Prma Donna Who Has Won RenoWn in Paris

AS dress is one of the necessities of civilized life
1 THINK WE OWE 1T AS A DUTY TO OUR
SELVES, AS WELL AS TO THOSE ABOUT
US, TO CLO'THE OURSELVES AS BECOM-
INGLY AS WE CAN.
But to do this it is not necessary either to dress
extravagantly to have many different costumes
l would sooner have one well-made dress than hall
dozen ill-ftting ones. To insure good fit, the
dress must be, it we're, built on you from start
to finish. In my opinion, the average customer de-
ponds too much on the ideas OF her dressmaker
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

Frank Munscy's "Chnin of Papers"
The Boston Journal is the latest link
acquired for the "chain of newsna-
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

When Rollo Saw the Pigs.
think that God made little pigs,
Not for the pork mans trade,
But sent them here upon the earth
So footballs could be made.
IN. Y. Times.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18

1t safe that nine Of who
tell they have succeeded because they had
tuny energetic enough the opportunities that
were offered them
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-11-18
ENGLISH THE UNIVERSAL
LANGUAGE
BY w. S. MCCORMICK,

ro1essor OF English Lae and Language, Dundee Unlvefs
ROF ANDRE, of the Lyons university, is reputed to
@Ea be gaining ground with his for making Latin
@ the universal language of the future 1t would
Y$ that the learned professor has everywhere met with
M cordial support and that he hopes "at least make
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
GUSTAV MUELLER A
PROMINENT CITIZEN,
PASSES AWAY

Gustav Mueller died Friday after a
lingering illness during which he suffer
ed greatly. Two days prior to his death
his son Charles j Mueller who is en-
listed in the navy visited him, coming
all the way from San Francisco where
the ship to which he is assigned, the
Oregon, is AT present stationed. Mr..
Mueller was at that time already on
his death bed and to the sorrow of the
occasion was unconscious and unable
TO recognize the son who had come to
comfort him in his last hours.
A furlough was granted the young
sailor and its expiration two days after
his arrival necessitated immediate re-
turn to his command before the death
of his parent, but an extension of five
days enabled him TO attend the obse
quies,
Funeral services for the decedent
We're held Sunday from the home and
was in charge of the Masonic Order
of which he was q member. The local
lodges, Sons of Herman, and |. o. o. T,
the city council, and the singing souie
ties of the city attended in a body to
pay last tribute of respect
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
MOVEMENT OF PERSONS
TO AND FROM MANITOWOC.

NJ II. Murphy left the city for New
York last Sunday afternoon.
A. ]. Schmitz is here having business
before the Circuit court in the Zech-
Kersten case.
Attorney James L. O'Conner, of Mil
waukee, is here ON legal business.
Thomas Brahaney, Senator Quarles
secretary will be here on Saturday.
w. F. ohde tragsacted business in
Milwaukee today.
Robert F. Howard correspondent of
the Milwaukee Sentinel was here ON
Wednesday.
Joseph Villas was in Milwaukee on
Saturday.
Edward Harris was in Milwaukee on
Friday and Saturday.
George Wickert spent Sunday in
Menasha
j. J. Kempf, of Milwaukee, accom-
panied Senator Spooner to this city.
The Rev. Mr. Merrill has returned
from an Appleton visit.
Bruno Dalwig has accepted position
in Sheboygan.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
SENATOR SPOONER
LAYS A WREATH ON
JOHN NAGLE'S CAIRN

Before proceeding with his address On
national politics at the Turner Opera
house last night Senator Spooner gave
succinct expression of his profound es-
teem of the moral worth and intellect
ual prowess of the late John Nagle.
The Senator's eulogy in the drapery of
exquisite diction, follows:
There were faces saw when l last
stood before Mapitowoc audience l
don't see now; there were voices heard
then that don't hear now; there was
then one strong, virile, forceful person
ality for whom / had great friendship,
but now whose vibrant manhood has
passed from out of vision and whose
superb intellect has been quieted by a
deep and all-impelling mystery sinking
into dreamless sleep called-Death.
Il wish to affirm here before this
presence, that of all the men who have
come within the scope of my intellect
ual analysis, in whatever walk of life,
he stands preeminent. He was man
of profound intellectual research, of
keen observation, of gentle attributes,
yet of robust manhood The reach of
his mind was large, rs were the motives
of his heart pure. He was man among
men; splendid, great having the broad.
est mind of all of whom have knowl-
edge of; gifted in an extraordinary de-
gree as a graceful and convincing writ
er, whose activities were freely given,
for the moral and mental elevation of
all who came within the touch of his
influence.
THE man, John Nagle"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
CAMPERS FIGHT
FOREST FIRE.
J. D. Markham and Party Tell of
Narrowing Experience.
COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY FLAMES.
Fire Breaks Out Two Days After Arrival
COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY FLAMES,
CHOP DOWN UNDERBRUsH IN VICINITY.
Compelled at one Time to Wrap Children Of
the Party in Wet BIankets-Were En-
camped on Peshtigo River.

] d. Markham and party Of camp
ers who left here on October and have
since been encamped on the Peshtigo
River near Big Falls, have written n
of week of the most narrowing exper-
fences
1t appears that two days after the
arrival at the camping ground a forest
fire broke out in their immediate vicini-
ty, which at first did not threaten to be
dangero us and the party took but small
heed of it. Famed however, by fresh
wind, the fire soon assumed dangerous
proportions and precautionary measures
were commenced to combat the fire
should it prove necessary. These steps
are what in all probability saved the
party from perishing, for the fire soon
surrounded the camp and only by super
human efforts was the camp and its
effects saved. At one time it became
necessary to wrap the children of the
party up in wet blankets.
But for the fact that all underbrush
within radius of one hundred yards
was chopped down thus removing the
food for the flames, the situation would
have indeed become desperate
An attempt was made by the camp
ers to fight their way out, but hemmed
in on all sides, the party was driven
back
The party consisted of j. ID. Mark
ham, his son Herbert, the latter's wife
and two children and domestic.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
JOHN SCHUETTE WILL
OCCUPY HIS NEW
HOUSE ON NOV. /

The new house built by John Schuet-
te, near the water tower, is about COM
pleted and Mr.. Schuette expects it will
be ready for occupancy about Nov. 4,
when he will transfer his residence from
the south to the north side of the river.
The house is one of the handsomest from
an architectural view point in the city
and it will vie with many houses in more
pretentious cities 1t has been under
construction for the past eighteen
months aud is built to stand botn
weather and time From the rear
porch he will command an excellent view
of the Manitowoc river. In the interior
the house has been built for comfort,
yet style is not lacking.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
LANDRETH PEAS
BEING SHIPPED

Manitowoc products are known
throughout the world and are in de-
mand in every country where superior
quality of manufacture and excellence
count. An illustration is furnished by
a shipment which left the city Friday
of carload of peas from the Landreth
Canning company, consigned to Glas
gov, Scotland. The product is this
years pack and fills one of the many
orders that are yearly received from
foreign ports. Throughout the East
the Manitowoc brand of peas is in de-
mand and shipments sent out from
here annually are the largest from any
pea canneries in the world and is fac.
tor in the commercial importance for
which the city is recognized.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
HONOR COMES TO
EDWARD MCMAHON
AT MADISON UNIVERSITY

The following is taken from the Ma
Olson Journal "A caucus of the new
students was held Yesterday afternoon
to place class ticket in the field
against the engineers Edward Nc
Mahon acted as temporary chairman
and Herman Garfield secretary protein.
After wordy contest McMahon was
elected permanent chairman. The con-
vention then proceeded to ballot on can
didates for president. Mr.. Mcmahon
of Manitowoc, Mr.. Hanan of Milwau-
kee and Mr. Poole of Madison, were pro-
posed. Mr.. Poole declined to be a can.
didate. The contest then narrowed
down to fight between the Milwaukee
faction led by Mr.. Hanan and the state
faction led by Mr.. Mcmahon. After a
number Of ballots had been taken Mr..
Mcmahon was elected. The convention
then adjourned"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
NO NEED TO FEAR
FOR THE LACK OF
ANTHRACITE COAL

With prospect for the early resump-
tion of the anthracite coal mines there
is no danger of coal famine in this
city While all the anthracite coal has
been sold yet some 60, 600 tons Of bitum'
inous coal is on the wharf here. At u
pinch the householders can keep warm
with bituminous coal though it is not
so satisfactory as heating fuel Great
ing much more dust than does anthra-
cite. With the opening of the mines
the coal dealers here expect to get g
share of the mined product at an early
day, hence it is reasonable to presume
that before the winter sets in there will
be an abundance of hard coal to satisfy
the needs of all who use it in Manito-
woo.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
MAYOR ROSE HAD
LARGE AUDIENCES IN
MANlTOWOC COUNTY.

Mayor Rose was received by large
sized audiences at all the towns at
which he spoke on Tuesday and We'd
nesday. AT Cleveland 150 voters heard
him, over 100 We're at Newton, more
than i25 were at Branch, about the same
number attended at Cato and large
audience gathered to hear him ut Reeds
vile. In all these places the voters
were both enthusiastic and listened to
the presentation of the issues with
great attentiveness. Mr.. Rose was well
satisfied by his reception here.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1902-10-16
KNIGHTS TO
ORGANIZE.
Will Begin Their Career in Mani
towOc Next Sunday.
1T IS A CATHOLIC ORDER.
knights of Columbus are Rapidly Branch
ing Out.
s. CANDIDATES SLATED IN MANITowOc
Many Visiting Teams Will be Here Il
Help In the Elaborate Ritual
Ceremonies.

On Sunday afternoon fifty-eight can
didates will be initiated into the order of
the Catholic Knights of Columbus. The
initiating officers WI, be Henry j. Kille-
lea of Milwaukee and j. Fl. Martin Of
Green Bay. Assisting the officers will
be teams from Green Bay, Milwaukee,
Appleton. Oshkosh and Beloit, the
teams comprising about $50 members of
the order. The exercises are to be held
at Turner hall, and they will open at 2
O'Clock in the af ternoon, lasting until
after o'clock at night.
1t is said the initiatory service is gym
bolic and its highly religious character
makes Sunday an appropriate season for
holding it. SO impressive is the ritual
that members of the order, while not
disclosing its particulars, assert that it
has all of the solemnity of finished
ceremonial of the church.
The visiting knights will bring along
their la dy friends and the wives and
daughters of the prospective members
of the order here will entertain them. 1t
has been arranged that the ladies shall
hold a reception from 2 o'clock until 4
o'clock in the afternoon and at the latter
hour they will take the trolley cars for
Two Rivers, riding there and remaining
over for an hour, returning in time for
supper.
The Knights of Columbus have rent
ed the rooms above the Office of The
Pilot, where their club home will be for
several years to come. The location is
central and the rooms are well adapted
for the use of club purposes. They will
be arranged to afford every convenience
to the members and will be fitted up in
homelike fashion.
The Knights while but an organiza-
tion of recent origin are fast adding
to their membership. 1t is considered
the most influential of the several Cath
olic organizations now extant and its
membership is composed of the best
elements both clerial and lay. 1t will
have large additions here.