The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-08-21

POLITICAL EPIGRAMs.

By Andrews James Miller.
He that does one fault at first

He that does one fault at first
And lies to hide 1t. makes It two.
God help the sheep when the wolf is
Judge.
The Scribes and Pharisees are not air
dead yet.
A politician without patronage is a cat
without claws.
Beware of the candidate surcharged
with promises.
Nothing is stronger than the vigor of
political malice
Alabama may mean rest, but certainly
| not political rest
Wash or comb or anoint political liar:
| he is still a liar.
Every politician carries a private the
| atre under his hat.
A silent mans words are not brought
into the campaign.
There is no such thing as an insignifi-
cant political enemy.
Aaron Burr said a lie well stuck to was
as good as the truth.
Angels would weep If men had to be
| judged by each other.
He can be a pygmy on facts, but a
giant in technicalities.
Political figuring will often dizzy the
arithmetic of memory.
An organic law is for all, but its friends
should be its guardians.
The "barr'r' always talks very loud as
the campaign warns up.
A great secret in political life Is never
| to be in the way of others.
The average office-seeker Is great
spendthrift with his tongue.
Don't waste your logic on the air: fools
grow without being watered.
But we'll to say and so to mean: that
sweet accord Is seldom seen.
A health to the Constitution and confu-
sion to those who dislike 1t.
Don't deceive YOUR constituents: hypoc-
risy Is the burden OF Villainy.
Politicians. like Faistaff's soldiers. are
afraid OF nothing but danger.
Some political records like the tailor's
goose, are both hot and heavy.
The big candidate is generally the cour-
ageous captain of compliments.
The conscientious" politician long ago
Joined the lost tribes of Israel.
SANDER comes as natural to some par
tisans as kicking to young ass.
Now that ballot box stuffing is stop
ped, also stop stuffing the voters
Don't grumble at the returns; fate is
anything that gets the best Of us.
You can't disregard campaign lies:
there are too many fools who vote.
The political editor out of job is mark
ed by a prediction for plug hat.
Some Of the candidates will soon look
like walking West Indian epidemic.
For men, it Is reported dash and vapor,
Less on field of battle than on paper.
Our acts our angels are-good or ill
Our fatal shadows that walk by us still.
The difference between zeal and impu-
dence is never drawn by the politician.
Many politicians may want the earth,
but the fact remains they never get 1t.
The politician, who never turns coat,
is as rare as the sheep who turns goat.
Don't prosecute your opponents: re-
venge is the wild justice of the ruffian.
If angels had to consort with politi-
clans, there would be more fallen ones.
We all want justice, but will knock her
down when she interferes with our side.
A dog is counted mad when he refuses
| drink: not so with your bum constituents.
If political bombast were a deadly dis
| ease, how many would be in their graves.
Beware of counting the gallery for even
good men like to make the public stare.
The average politician seldom draws a
distinction between q notion and an opin-
| ion.
Political satire is glass, in which the
beholder sees everybody's face but his
own.
Nothing is more prodigal in political
campaign than its supply of false state
ments.
A new crop of cranks is always incu-
batting to keep up agitation Of exploded
theories.
All half-baked politicians who have
| been elected from Office want to be win
dictated"
The four boxes that rule the world:
cartridge box, jury box, ballot box and
bandboX.
The ward heller is generally as posi-
tive as ignorance and narrowness can
make him.
The politician who essays being all
to anybody.
An honest public servant is not ex-
| empt: a good name often engages the SER
vice OF liars.
Don't enlarge too much on your good
record: people who never make mistakes
are great trial.
Reform is a great old battle cry Of the
parties but somehow grows obsolete
when they reach office.
The newspaper is a palladium of liberty
to the running candidate, but a lying.
blackmailing sheet when he stops.
The days Of interviews have come, the
saddest of the year, when candidates
must go and bum. and each night set up
beer.