The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-01-24

Win IL SLOW ana SnreWu decision
All his plots ManeuVring.
Zen the supper hour approaching
Win its promise Of good cheer
Has no magic in it's summons
To entice the players here.
1et the contest in its finish.
With its fine .unwritten law.
May with ali its complications
Pc decided by Il draw"
They may boast Of golf and tennis,
AND the tournaments Of chess,
t.eralded by great announcements
And the olaudits of the press.
But those champions OF pleasure
With their fund Of players lo:e.
ell might envy these old worthless
thylng checkers at the store.
Anna Fuller in Modern Culture.
While the United States Supreme conrt
was occupying temporary quarters il the
Senate judiciary room and the famous
old courtroom was being remodcled. an
incident occurred which was kept from
publicity because OF the limited number
Of persons who We're able to crowd into
the room while court was liz session. 4
presenting an argument. He read
lengthy extracts from the law, continu-
ing this until the patience OF one Of the
Justices was exhausted. He leaned for
ward Ill his seat with Il deprecatury ges-
t'ire, susgesting:
Young man, will you kindly presume
that the court knows a little law, and
proceed with your argument::'
NO; may it please your honor" an
sWered he young barrister, that was
the mistake l made in the lower court
A minor official of the department Of
justice IS responsible for telling this
story, for which he vouches. He repeat
td 1T at Il dinner a few nights ago, at
which there We're a number OF good story
tel.ers. Whether it is true or not, it i;
being retold daily. 1t brought out til"
telling OF another story relating to the
temporary assignment a week ago OF
Zen. Miles as acting secretary OF war.
The generals assignment followed with.
in a few days the severe reprimand adj
ministered to him by the President and
secretary OF war. The fact that he was
acting had hardly become known about
the department when one of the promi-
lent civilian employees presented himself
ut the generals office.
WIN our permission, general, l wish
TO tell you about a brus4ue, o%utspoken.
but lndiScleet lawyer out in our state"
said the generals caller. "IIe was CON
:tantly running counter to the presiding
Judges, and was frequently fined for cor.
tempt. On one occasion, while Il spec
tator IN the courtroom, he was called
upon by the judge to preside temporarily,
the Judge being suddenly called from the
judges chair he said: Mr.. Clerk, you
will turn back to the record and on
April Ii You will find a fine of $50 as
scssed against II of the leading men,
bers OF the bar who practices before this
court. You will enter the fact that th..
line is rcmitted.' Good day, general"
In the courthouse an Irishman stood
charged with stealing a watch from Il
fellow citizen. He stoutly denied thu
impeachment. and brought a counter &C.
cusation against his accuser for assault
and battery committed with a frying pan.
The judge was inclined to take a com
mon sense view of the case, and, regard
ing the prisoner, said:
who is a smaller man than yourself. to
assault yon without resistance? HM:
self WITH
"Bedad. your honor" said Pat. II had
his watch. but what was that against Il
frying pan?"-Tt-Bits.
"Incle Jimmie" was a man who had
a reputation for Brightness" in business
eighty~odd years of his existence.
When he was stricken with what
proved to be his last illness. d neighbor
came to SEQ him who had heard he was
near unto death.
The family were gathered about the
room in various stages of grief-ha had
not been an over kind husband and ia
with closed eyes and laoored Lreathing.
See it he knows you,' said his wife
t~earfully to the neighbor, who tiproed to
the side Of the bed and leaned over the
occupant.
'Uncle Jimmie do you know me?"
asked the neighbor gently.
Finally "Uncle Jimmie" slowly opened
his eyes and fixed then, ~intently on the
9uestiOner.
know you?" he echoed feebly. Il
reckon l do! Where's that gallon Of vine
gar YOU " me?"
The neighbor had to acknowledge the
recognition was complete.-Lippincott's
Magazine.
The shades of the goose and the turkey
were discussing the circumstances which
had attended their respective takings off.
Did YOU otfe- any objection when first
the cruel farmer laid hands on you:"
sympathetical!y inquired the gohbler.
Yes replied his gooseship; Il cried
out. Hello, what's this?"
0iN w "a ACAt lhNui1Vu tIS
now thoroughly interested fowl.
oh" the goose replied, Il did not say
anything more; Just then l was wrung
off ."-Michigan Lyre.
The following story is told by the
Louisville Post on Col. Henry Waiter
son of the Louisville Conrier-Jaurna and
the possible candidate for the presiden-
tial nomination. 1t happened as he was
On his way from Louisville to his resi-
dence at Jetfersontown. When the South
ern train reached Jeffersontown the colo
mel got off, and, walking to the baggage
car. pointed to a market basket, and said
to one Of the brakemen:
Here. pick up hat basket and bring
it over to me-"
The brakeman at the time was busily
engaged and paid no attention to Mr..
WatterSon.
That gentleman again commanded the
brakeman 10 pick up the basket and re-
marked:
If YOU don't bring that basket over
here Immediately l will see that You are
removed from this rum
The brakeman looked at Mr.. Waiter
son Il moment and replied: Mr.. Wat
terson. l was not hired by the road to
be your valet"