The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1902-02-14
Who's Moss Back3" Sure EnOush
Candidate. aud he Gives Advice.
SIT WAy-BA,K TowS,
UP BITrER.CREEK,

saying that was laid up win DAD
case Of grippe. The grippe (you
will notice, that spell it up to date)
~ a vely mean and despicable sick
ness, but it is picnic towards The
.tate of fairs that ! went through
during the period Of my temporary
silence. You may imagine my feel
hugs and my state OF health, when J
tell you that | was lodging. Did
you ever dodge, Mr.. Edlteur? Well,
it is tough 10 dodge anything from q
snow bali o uuctoI bliI; but it is al
great cal a., re- announcement and
detrimental to ones constitution to-
oe Engaged ia The sorry undertaking
of dodglng candle ites. And that
has been my occuL alton during the
last three weeks. Does this not
sufficiently explain my silence, well
and truly? But it does not explain
the condition Of Ly body. TO
dodge candidate successfully one
has to get up early and st y up late,
in fact, he has to be up all the time.
And he cannot stand still either, |
mean tue vo,er. A candidate Is a.
going all the time, mouth, tongue,
hands, feet, and conscience, and 10
keep away from him is to keep u.
going too, especially by means Of
the feet. To dodge candidates as q
/ voter Is bad enough, but 10 be forced
% fee their wrath for having IN
suited them, Is vastly and hugely
more difficult undertaking And
that 8 wnat | have been doing tor
the last three weeks. Imagine my
I CONSERVATION when ye editeur
+ bIames my dire condition to the
grippe. Yes, l was having the
, grippe too, but | was enjoying thst,
Ii was my dodging condition that
: was bothering me. will see law
yer yet with view Of sueing you,
r and for conceahng deadly intentions,
But say, Mr.. Editeur, am all
right again. Old Moss Back Is him
self again. l feel as good as any
body, and am not only the co-equa
Of any blamed candidate, but l an
after the voters myself. In othel
words | am y iull-hedged candidate
} myself. | am pulling the wires
and am engaged in the pleasant un
dertaking Of still pursuing the timid
voter. Better hide, Mr.. Edlteur
flor you are the man whom | am 60
, ling to land in my camp. or ! vii
know the reason why. ! will neve
stop until you promise to vote to-
ime seventeen times and swear to |
on the bible five times, or will eithe
run you crazy, CT run you into an
other county, or run you into tn
: dire necessity Of running Tor Office
yourself.
What an running for? Wha
I a question, as if it mattered what
{. | am running for janitor OF the Kin
r dergarten-school. This is the onl.
r Office open for re. All the other
are occupied, fsSm auditor OF tn
! books to the payer OF the account
! you newspaper men manage to hol'
|, against the Kind d,rgarten school
Mr.. Editeur, why don't you peopl
work for nothing? You are to-
. hard on the poor taxpayers who ar
2 now sufficiently engaged in dodgin
the beer kegs sent out by the meas
oly little monkey who is engaged !
J. running the campaign OF your
lrtruly-that's me. Why do | sa
measley little monkey? Because
,f am mad at him. Here he force
me to run for janitor, because b
!, himself has been in office so lon
that he is afraid l might get int
! the habit Of office holding, If | gc
into an Office worth having. An
q that might not do. You see, Nj
: Editeur, my father, and my brother
and nv uncle, and my cousin, an
my nephew, and my fathers unc!'
's and my fatherin-law, and my otf
D. er relations having been holding Ii
a. Offices SO long, that the Kinderga
20 ten. school belongs to our famiI!
l. and none other need apply. s.
-Mr. Editeur, If you want an oiiic'
ie YOU will have to marry into OF
90 family. heard you are foot-loos
e; and nov would be goDd chance
,run for two Offices, one, the matt
al monial Office, and the other, the
ut tice Of inspector Of the Kindergs
20 ten school. !.
ne Please to consider my otfer, n
na Ed,teur, and if you feel kindly d
=! posed, let me know, aud will P
al YOU on the ticket, and will arrant
d,lthe other matter with "der pastor
ne There is nothing like It II "
t's once get used to il, namely runni'
for Office, and holding the Office
inItoo, as my family has done at \
,he| X Kindergarte school Tor the last