The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1902-10-02
IN a HUMOROUS VEIN.

lIapley-Thero seemed to be some
eXcltomcnt at your house last night.
Poplcy (dejectedly)-Yes, we had a
deuce of time.
Hapioy--A deuce of a time, eh?
Poploy-Ycs, twins.
Physician Cat hospitaD-" How did
you happen to fall from the top of the
ladder?'
Patient" A pretty woman was
passing and while trying to get good
look At her l slipped and fell"
Physician-"Ah, the same old story
"a woman at tho bottom of it,"
Ted--Is that girl who married the
old fellow satisfied with the match she
made?
Ncd-Yes. IIo wasn't worth as
much as he claimed, but as he turned
out to be 10 years older than he owned
up to, she considered it about stand
off.
Did yez hear about Mrs. Multi
gan's son runnin' fer ollice?n
"Ol did not. Phawt koind av office
is he runnin' fer9"
Th' post Office. He is a spec,al
delivery bhoy."
Recently an inquisitivc woman was
talking to James Whitcomb Riloy on
how poorly paid WAS tho profession OF
literature. But, Mr.. RIey,n said
she, "surcly you have no cause for
complaining. You must be a very
rich man. l understand YOU rot a
dollar n word for all YOU write.n
4" 9o.c-cs, madam" SAID Riley, with
ms slow d1aWi, "but sometimes | sit
all day and can't think of a word.n
"Now, that | think of it," remarked
the passenger with the skull CAP,
" there used to be little place on this
line they called kiss station but it
must be something else now, haven't
heard the conductor call it out"
We're pretty close TO it, think,o
replied tho passenger with tho goatec
But it isn't Kiss station any more,
They've changed the name, but re-
tanned tho idea. It's now
Happy Junction" bawlcd out the
conductor as the train slackcncd its
spool Tor the next stop.
Inc young woman who had return
cd from months vacation at the sea-
shore was putting her chum aboard The
train. The chum was going back to
stay another week.
" Any mcssagos?" asked the chum
through the car window.
Lot INC see," said the gi1l reflect.
I(nn,nr,hn,
Tell Mrs. Is. inquired for her. Give
my regards to MIR. g. and Mrs. ID. And
be sure to tell Mrs. T.. that l sent nv
love-"
um-m," said tho chum to herself.
as the smoke of the moving train be.
gan to pour in tho window, 81 guess I
can figure out how those peoplc stand
in Peggy's esteem"
A miserly landlord was going 'round
collecting his rents. At one house he
was greatly Interested in little Girl
who watched open-mouthcd and open.
eyed the business of paying over the
money and accepting the receipt. He
patted her OH the head and started to
search his pockets, saying:
"1 must sec what | have got for
you"
Coat and vest pockets he searched.
and at last brought, from remote
corner of one of tho lattor, nicely en-
bellished with the fluffy accumulation
Of months, pcpporment. AS he
handed it to the girl he said:
"And now what will you do with
that ?"
The little girl looked at it, then at
him, and ropiiod: s Wash it,"
In certain Pennsylvania Village
where there is but ono trolley car, and
that novelty, tho handsome young
citizon, who is It's conductor, is regard
cd as common property by his friends,
the passengers. Men, women and
children are as nelghbors to him, and
this sometimes gives rise to pictu-
rescue confusion of his public and pri-
vatc functions.
lie is asked for the loan of fares as
often as country postmaster is asked
to advance stamps, and, although he
Is expected to run his car by schedule,
he is also expected to hold it quite 10
or 10 minutes on those frantic occa.
slons when belle is behindhand with
her toilet for sOiree at the other end
of town. Tender infants arc put in
his arms to be delivered at their destl-