Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-11-10

W.
Some automobiles can travel one
hundred miles without being repaired.
II they are shipped By train.-Chicago
News.
Defined: Papa. what 10 q man Of
one ideaT ANY man. my son. who
has an idea that differs from yours
Chicago Tribune.
He-"She holds her age we'll dosen't
sher She-"Yes. She doesn't look .
day older than abe says she is."-Phil.
adelphia Record.
Freddy-"Pop. when do they call .
woman an old henr" The paternal
when she becomes hopelessly set in
her ways. my son."-Ex.
I'm the manager up-to-date" up.
to'date! Why he's just introduced a
game Of ping-pong In the balcony scene
In Romeo and Juliet" Tit Bits.
An aesthetic soul: "well. did she
buy the bookr' NO." replied the
clerk; "she said she didn't like the
cover design. "-Detroit Free Press.
His soft answer; Angry mother
Nov. Bobby. don't let me speak to
you asain!" Bobby (helplessly)-"How
can I prevent you, mammaT'-Boston
Globe.
Wanted to know: Mrs. Stubb-''They
have captuked the cleverest hotel rob.
Der In the country. John" Mr.. Stub
Indeed! Which hotel did he runr'
Chicago News.
HE thinks Of having his poems pub.
lished in book-form." "Well. that's the
best way Of putting them where they
won't bother anybody. "-Phiiadelphis
Evening Bulletin.
He-"What more can you ask, DEAR
Haven't I admitted I Yves wrong and
humbly apologfsedr' "Well, what Of
IT. I hav& no respect Tor . man who
10 that weak."-Life.
1.-THE singer has made great strides
IN the profession, hasn't she" Eyes,
indeed. Formerly. when she received
IN encore. she sang; now she usually
smiles. Flown and Country.
Mn. elumkin-"The Werdey baby 10
the picture of her father" Mr.. Stun.
kin-"I suppose that when the child
10 . little older she will be the phono-
graph Of her mother. Judge.
wont you try the chicken salad,
Judge" said the clearinghouse keep
e.. II tried It yesterday, ma'am," re.
piled the witty Judge. land the chicken
proved an alibi."-Philadelphis Record
Might b worse: Mrs. Parvenu-
"And men the whole awful story got
into the papers" Mrs.. Beenthere-
"Oh. we'll. matters might be still worse.
II might have been dramatissd."-
Judge.
Ostentation: "You say your next
door neighbors make . vulgar display
OF their Wealth. EYES," answered
Mr.. Bickerson; 'they left q ton Of coal
out on the sidewalk all day yesterday"
-Washington Star.
Parke-"The other day I was In q
kind Of vision. and saw my wife 40
the most perfect woman In the world. ="
Lane-"Where were your Parke-
I'm an intelligence Office, describing
her to . cook was trying to engage"
Judge.
Humoring his customers: Professor
Won Note--"You hat vine collection
OF classic music here" Music dealer
That's for young ladies to look over
previous to asking for . copy Of ''The
Honeysuckle and the Bee New
York Weekly.
Exception: This talk about inven.
lions bein' injurious to labor 10 al
nonsense" said Convict No. 151. "Why
sof' asked the guard. Because It ID.
A patent burglar alarm wus the cause
o me gittin' i've years 1t hard labor. !"
-Indianapolis Sun.
Her pap-"Yo' aspiah ter marry nah
daughtah. sah2 HIM. Whad am yo'r
prospecsr The sutton "a widower)-
"Ebery single one Of de pussons TO
whom NAH late lamented wife done
washin' TO- hab promised ter liberty
paternixe her successah. Judge.
Rules of success: "What is your rule
of business maxim?" the Wall
Street baron was asked. Every sim.
ple," he answered; ''pay for something
that I can't get, with money that l
haven't got, and then sell what never
had for more than it ever ost."-Life.
Legal points: 80 he got out an in.
junction against your company" we
say pityingly; "why didn't you fore.
stall him BY getting an injunction to
prevent the issuance Of his injunc.
tionr II couldn't, you see he was
slick enough to get out an Injunction
against my getting out an injunction
against his Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
Dear" she said. during an interval
Of comparative sanity. promise me
one thing" Anything" he answered
with the recklessness Of love. after
we have been married a reasonable
time, IL we decide q divorce 10 desir.
able promise that my brothers, who
are struggling young lawyers. shall
represent us."-Philadelphia North