The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-29
HONEST ABE, U. s. NJ.
He Still Continues to Tender Advice
and Consolation.

Copyright, 1902, by c. B. Lewis)
"Abe," says Farmer Joe Tompkins As
l drove up to his gate the other day
to leave him letter, you are a mighty
big man, amt your
Il am" replied. "rm the only thing
on wheels that load of hay has got
master general. the administration, the
flag of liberty and the 10000, 600 peo-
pie Of the United States. There are
few men who weigh more than l do,
but I'm not kicking. What's on your
mindY'
I'm thinking of running for county
supervisor. and l wanted to ask your
advice. II ! consent to run, I'll surely
be elected, and if I'm elected know l
shall have trouble"
About what?s
'.About being a big man. "A super
visor is expected to put ON style, and
don't believe l can do it. don't be-
lieve l was born for it. The old woman
says they dasI.t eat with q knife at
any of their meals"
mo"
"And IL their heels itch ever 30 hard
they dasn't pull OF their boots to
scratchT
NO"
"And that they must have tive or
three clean collars week, keep their
hair combed and carry a toothbrush
around. 1t ia SO, AbeY
That's about it."
And do they have to walk around
with stiff backs and talk about the
init af fho nit cd Gfofo
battle Of Bunker Hill and all that?"
Pm not sure, but think So"
Then that settles me-" says Joe as
he kicked at a toad hopping through
the weeds. ''I'd like to be big man,
Abe, and have my picture in the pa
pers, the band playing and the people
all bowling down to me, but know If
l got up there I'd take a tumble and
come down with thud. I've had two
or three falls from haystacks, and
know how it hurts. Even If I could
carry through my bizness the old wom-
an couldn't. She'd be signing to make
soft soap and asking everybody about
butter and eggs, and if we was invited
to the White House to dinner she'd
pick up bone Ia her hand or wipe her
chin on the tablecloth. You was born
I to be a big man, Abe. and it don't
scare you a bit when the governor
asks you to drink with him or the PEG.
pie want a Fourth of July Grafton, but
| I'm different. | can drive into town
and get trusted for ten pounds of sugar
and a can of baking powder, but my
| bigness stops there. That's all, Abe,
and I'm much obleeged. was sortei
signing to be big, and was sorter try,
| ing to dodge it, and you have decided
me. I'll jest stay right where I am
and be common folks and walk around
barefoot"
knew the Widow Watkins had 8
sorrow gnawing at her heart as soor
as l drove up. She stood at her gait
| in a detected attitude, and there wers
| traces of tears In her eyes. The widow
/ is forty-fiye years old. rawboned ant
ungaiuly. and she must have traded
| faces with a woodchuck in her baby
| hood, but she's awfully good hearted
| and never treads on any ones else Gu
cumbers. My sympathies went aloni
with the hair dye circular handed her
and / asked:
| ANY OF the calves got drowned o.
the sheep broken their legs. Widow
| Watkins?"
'It isn't that, Abe; it's here" she an
swers as she presses her hands to he
heart.
| docs the doctor say you've got ,
weak hearth"
| Il haven't consulted a doctor. M,
heart isn't weak, but it's aching, Abe
| l have experienced the perfidy of man.
| Good lands, mol"
Eyes, / have. / have poured out m,
affections on an unworthy man, and
| don't think I shall ever get over tn
shock. You remember those letters il
pink envelopes you brought me ever,
trip until a fortnight ago."
81 d." says 1.
''They were from him. He come
along here buying calves a year age