The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-09-19

dexterty at the butt Of his mos con
venient ear. What we advocute-OM
country, one flag and one wife-at &
time. Our object-To live in pomp and
splendOr.'
One day papa was getting ready to
break Charlie $ pet colt, and Charlie
Break your COLT was the reply.
Charlie ran into the house crying and
said to his mamma:
Papa is going to break Beauty right
in two.'-Little Chronicle.
Julge, my lord," said the prisoner,
"beforc l enter my plea I'd like to ask
few questions
you have the courts PERMISSION
''lf l 20 on trial, shall l have to sit
here and listen while the lawyers ash
hypothetical questions OF the jurors?'
"Certainl:."
"-And then hear all the handwriting
eXDerts?"
'Of course"
"And follow the reasoning Of the chem
istrv and insanity eXperts?'
Every probably"
"Weil then. my lord, I'm ready to
enter my plea:'
''What is it
"Guilty."- Tit-Bits.
Il wonder what makes mans hair
fall out SO fast when once it starts?'
''WOrry,' answered the man who al
ways has an explanation ready. Moth
ing tends to make a man bald so much
much as the idea that he is becoming
bald.'- Tit-Bits.
The late Senator Mcmillan of Michi-
gan used to tell with great glee about Il
green IIishman employed on his country
place near Detroit.
This man had Il severe attack Of ma
larial fever, and the senator told him he
would send him some medicine, which he
quinine. Upon the occasion of his next
visit to the farm the senator called on
Pat and asked if he received the medi-
cine all right.
Eyes, sor,' said Pat. "and it cured me,
too. but it was lot of trouble to dig
| the medicine cut Of those little Shells
New York Times.
NIerchant-See here; I wish you
wouldn't bother me. | told You some
time ago that I was already insured to
the limit.
Insurance Agent-I know you told me
that, but man will say most anything
| to get rid of an insurance agent.-Phila-
delphia Press.
It is not difficult to guess where the
small boy in the following story. which
| is told by a Salisbury paper. gets his
breeches: \ Salisbury man bought 4
new set of false teeth. ''Papa,' a$ke!
his young hopeful, what are You goin'
to do with the old uns?'' ''Throw them
| away. son." ''Fll bet" answered the
youngSter after brief period of medita-
ton, that you have 'em cut down for
me."-Kansas City Journal.
et.-Chimer-So you're not
friends any more. Rimer-No, he doesn t
know what true friendship means. I
asked him once to give me his candid
Chimer-Well? Rimer-Well, the chump
gave it.--Philadelphia Press.
! -:O:-
A TINE PUZZLE.
Married near Cornwall, Miss Jane Weeks,
| to Thomas Day:
\ Day is gained,
| \ Week is lost
| But time cannot complain;
! For soon there will
| Be Days enough
| To make Week again.
| -Schoollnaster.
| ":O:-
| Clara-Now I'm all ready for the ball.
How 10 | look, Jack?
| Jack-1ou remind NE Of a Sioux in his
war paint.
Ciara-Oh, you nasty thing! ILL.,
Jack--Don't cry, dlrling' l simply
meant you were dressed to kill.
4 London correspondent, looking at
the beautiful house which Father-in-Law
w. X. Vanderbilt is building for the
Marlboroughs, got some valuable infor-
nation from the sweeper at the ld-
jaccnt crossing: ''That ERE" said he,
sis the duke of Marlborrer's 'ouse, but
the duke e amt a-puttin' of it I'D is
self. It's is feyther-in-law, Pccrpul,
Morgan, or some of them American
chaps what's givin' the money"
| The latest device of givlhood is fancy
for stufting pillows with old love letters.
| There is one thing about the contents of
these pillows that can be depended upon
with a marked degree OF certainty-they
are sure to be soft.-New York Daily
! News.
! SUMNER WISDOM.
| The wise guy didn't Worry
| Although his cash was shy
J ~ T.: