Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-09-13
A HUMBLE EGOTIST.
BY s. L. BENANSON.

all circumstances. He drove light heart
eddy, as man might be expected to drive
after Derby day, when all his selections
have been placed. Seeing me in the gar
den he called halt and saluted
"Mebbe you're wantin' suthin'?" he re-
marked; and | replied that my DISPOSE
ton was contented and my wants We're
| few.
I've got power o goods in this here
cart, said the owner, proudly, even jo-
vially, what does credit to most any
man. I'm a general salesman, that's
what | am; there amt nothin' ! can't
sell, an nothin' | can't do, and do well,
lift so be We has doubts just ask for
what's wanted in tn house or out of it."
you must feel proud at timc5?" |
suggested
"AIddlin'," said the general salesman.
Il can paint We inside or out hang yr
papers, shave We, kill yr pigs, fit so be
as We as some. tend tn garden. groom
tn pony mend tn stove an cook tn
dinner in it, an W won't find me in the
alehouse an hour in tn year"
Il am delighted to make your ac-
quaintance," / said
"Well, now. / like to hear We say ut"
responded the general salesman, "an' I'll
tell We summit, if yen let me. Pots
an pans. an dishes an glasses, an lamp
lie an coal, an candles an soap. See
y'r housekeeper an get some real bar
gains" He left his pony to eat the most
tender portions of my hedge, and filling
a big basket with wares. hurried to the
door, where l soon heard him extolling
his goods to the skies and calling Land
shire to witness it held nothing like
them.
He came back looking satisfied.
"Sixty year an more I've been in these
parts" he remarked, mounting to his
seat with some difficulty and saving
standard rose from the pony's teeth at
the eleventh hour, sixty year, man an
boy, an alters gied everybody pleasure.
Cos why? Cos there amt nothin' /
can't go an do Mend kettles an pans,
an set lamps to rights, tend a garden
an make it look suthin' wunnerful, look
after ferrcts an dawgs, walk over land
an see there amt no poachin' keep a
sailin'- boat, clean gun, an We won't find
me in tn ale-house one day in tn
month"
YOU'RE something MANCHESTER should
be proud of, | said, politely.
Bless We, they be amazin' prod o me"
the general salesman admitted, cheer
fully, "seein' there be nuthin' / can't do.
Break a puppy to tn gun, help in wi
tn harvest, dig a we'll. plant orchard,
do bit o mowin', put in winders, thatch
u roof. build a bit o. stablin' or n barn.
roof, look after tn tennis lawn or a
Il, 4, y
an never in tn alc-house, 'cept it be a
Saturday night"
Can you tune piano. | asked, and
the veterans face fell little way, only
to recover itself
Cant say us I've tooned many o
them he said, obviously; but / dessay
can If We want vt. Jus Gle me tn idea
an I'll follow ut wunnerful smart, yen
find, Do yc want ut TONED now -
No" | said; 1T will do for the pres
ent. The man from Market Waldrou was
here last week"
All" said the general salesman, ''it
gies me chanst to find out suthin'
about EN-. They he pesky things, plan
ners, if not treated careful. I'll be able
TO do ut next time, never doubt ON it.
Take Y'r carpets up an beat 'em, hang
y'r pictures move We FIR here to Market
Waldron an back here ageu, make Il
GOTTEN tor Nrself or any one o W flens:
wuunerful ready wi mi ends, like, an
never 90 near tn alehouse ill me days
work is done. That's my rule, an
never break ut. not to please no one
not even tn King hissell, beggin his
PARDON
You are right" observed, solemnly
Temperance is one of the secrets of sue
cess"
Il feel ut replied the general sales
man. Sixty year of ut, man an boy, an
now | defy We 10 name what | can't do.
Make huttetr for We agin dairy -mide
brush y'r hedges and bitches, dig Il well
lift SO be rs We wants 'un, .mend cart
wheel or shoe n 'osS. shear sheep an
dip 'ur, mend III 'arness an polish ut,
drive the bards to We when We shoots VI
shootin', wark IL mornin' carly to night
late, an not ask big wage, neither
wants me fair price an me drop o beer
an then I'll wark fT We or any man.
lit 50 be as We wants good man to look
after y'r things, say tn word. an I'll sell
Ebenczer an tn cart, though it'll go
sore to me heart to part vi EN-"
itt9NtlltN 10 assure the general sales
man that had 30 wish to parL him from
Ebcnezcr and the cart; but. though
/ spoke as clearly as | could my words
We're not distinctly understood.
Il think less q We than | did, il ven
excuse my sayin',' he remarked. severe
| ly. "f'r gent tn like o You to asst me
70 sell tn pony an cart. III not DO ut.
I'm pore RAN though | can do most
auythim' but III not sell tn animal
what I've druv this fifteen wear. I'm.
less he added, in the tone of a mau who
has made sudden discovery. we'd like
to buy her f'r y'rselt She's not Young:
I'LL tell We no lie. Shell I've eight or nine
year old come tn 'arvest, but better
pony nor Ebcnozer weren't foaled. She'll
carry We far OF near, and She can do wi
less corn nor most on EN-. Eats grass
most all tn summer. 'cept She be coin
an ama@in' long way. She'll be tn very
thing for We
| shook my head
Pm mistaken in ye," said the general
salesman, rcproachiully, TO trine wi an