davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
BLOW TO THE AUTOMOBILE.

The American horse has showed his
hat back from his forehead and, smil-
ing between his teeth, is ready to an
nounce, as soon as he can find an in
terpreter. that he expects to remain in
the "short-hauP game to the end Of
the chapter. This disposition on the
part of his horseship to become glee-
full arises from the fact that the AUTO
mobile is temporarily under a cloud,
under suspicion and at the same time
up tree.
The violent death the other day Of
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Z. Fair while
riding a devil wagon" in France has
set a lot of people to thinking and a
few of them to acting. For instance,
William K. Vanderbilt Jr., probably the
side the Atlantic, who it will be re-
membered has made the fastest record
ever scored by a horseless vehicle, an
nounces that he has sold all his auto
mobiles and will wholly discontinue to
own or to ride in them. Mr.. Wander
bilt offers no explanation of his action,
but it is good guess that he has be-
come alarmed over the large number of
fatal accidents which have recently
happened to people on automobile ex-
cursions. 1t is not known what effect
his sudden determination will have on
other members of the smart set, but it
is freely predicted that many of them
will follow his lead and give up the
"auto habit
AS a matter of fact, the automobile.
is an exceedingly dangerous vehicle,
is still little removed from the embry-
onic state, is perplexing to a degree
and as obstinate as a Georgia mule.
Until some manufacturer can make
machines which will run when they are
wanted to and stop when wanted to
and which will not jump hedges, climb
trees and swim rivers, the automobile
is never going to be popular with any
body except the undertaken.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
TRIccs IS WRONG.

Prof. Oscar l.. Triggs, who a year or
more ago startled the world with the
announcement that John D. Rockefel-
Ter is a greater man than the late la
mented William Shakespeare, and was
so tickled with the caloric reception
glven him by the press that he launch
ed about seven other sensations of the
same sort. has broken loose again, and
he shows signs of such violent insanity
that he ought to be led into a probate
court and carefully examined.
This time Triggs makes one bound
and lands at tie limit of pessimism.
He has reasoned it all out. and finds
that the entire system of government
is us much out of order as if a cyclone
had blown through it. Triggs feels
sure that the day of politics is at an
end, that the flag is a mere rag float
ing in the breeze and that patriotism
and nationality are but fads of yes
terday. Turning his lorgnette on the
future, he sees only the wreck Of polit-
It's stead, headed by some Croesus
worth a few billions, advised and guild
ed to some extent by a board of mana
gers and directorate. He asserts that
in this scheme Of rule no congress will
be needed or tolerated.
Prof. Triggs reaches the conclusion
that the government will own every
thing, and that the people, instead of
be stockholders and receive all their
sustenance from the government.
T-iggs is under a cloud which has
no silver lining. Whether his trouble
his intellect, does not matter; it is
there, and it is the duty of a committee
Of physicians to locate 1t. In the
meantime, it is just as we'll for Triggs
and all the other croalers of his class
to make UP their minds that there will
be love of country, shouts for the flag,
patriotism in plenty, congresses and
popular government in America
thousand years after they are all dead.
When the hour comes for the over
throw of plutocracy, which is just now
trying to get a firm grasp upon the
government through the trusts, the
people will arise and crush it like an
egg shell. This is a government of
the people, for the people and by the
people now and forever.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
cHIcAeo's LITERARY CLAIMS

chicago, the greatest hog center in
the world, is also inclined to show de-
clded porcine proclivities at tn
literature, particularly such lit
erature as finds it's way into
the hands of tie playwright.
Since Samuel Eberly Gross heralded
to the universe that he really wrote
Rostand's "Cyrano de Bergerac" and
got learned judge to stand by him
IN his contention, it is becoming quite
the thing for some Chicagoan to Law
claim to about every good play that
makes its appearance on the stage,
The latest Chicago claimant to work
thought to be that of somebody else
is woman. Miss Helena Clendenen-
who has prepared through attorneys
TO bring injunction proceedings against
Miss Amelia Bingham for producing
A Modern Magdalene." Miss Glen
denen sets up the claim that over three
Years ago she wrote this pIay. and
twelve months later submitted if to
Miss Bingham, who, she saws. Rejected
- |~1 Ihelt SHORT time afterw9rd
Miss Bingham's company presented If
under the name of "a Modern Magaa-
Iene." 1t is stated that considerable
correspondence passed between Miss
Clendenen and Miss Bingham, ending
IN the Iatter's refusal to stop present
ing the play. She is carrying the var
INTO Africa, too, as she announces
that she Will begin presenting the
play at leading Chicago opera house
early in September, and then take If
Tor tour of the United States. OF
course the actress denies that she has
pirated the work of Miss CIendenen to
any extent whatsoever.
The question which suggests ITSELF 70
almost every mind just now is what ia
TO be done with these attractive Chi
cagoans? The impression that most
Windy City people were writing trial
balances and conducting red figure
sales is plainly, at least to some extent
erroneous. Numbers of them are annar-
emily burning the midnight oil pennine
burning thoughts into verses which RI
val Bryant's "Thanatopsis," and prosa
pieces which are better than Balzae,s
A Passion in a Desert" 1t is. how
ever, admittedly bad form for the Chi
eagoans to take a look at the cards
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24

py Ch1ngoes, I neffer saw so many in
all mein life, nod even in a fish market
Dey hat long boxes in der ground ware
a stream uf running water called Trout
Brook runs through id. In der first
box dare vos lod uf catffshes, und
Cherman Carpets and Buffalo fishes.
Den We saw some greadt big sturgeon
fishes, und den We came by der trout
pool. Der water vos black NIT dem
und dare ISIS ware I got into some more
troubles nit der ladies. You know der
boxes is each Won higher ub as der Won
Vlch comes on behindt und ven der
water runs through id IMAGES a IeeJIe
waterfall. Now right under der water.
faH vos lady standing near vot set,
L wonder Wy all uf dose fishes are cam
Ing ub under der waterfall, yes'
9 wy, [ set, "dey are chust Gaming
ub to ged a drink. Der Mutter vos next
In second, she ISIS always next, una
before der onder woman came to 1 vos
down ad der onder end uf der farm.
1 couldn't helb id, Louie, I hat to sed
1t uf l vos hung for Id. Den We saw
der golden fishes, und der white fishes
too.
Ware vos der pikes?" set Louie.
"Vell I didn't seen any," set, ST
guess dey vos piking around some ware.
Den dey hat house filed init stuffed
birds, ducks, und geeses, und two In
dams SLIDING in a birch bark canoe
only dey vos nod alife. Alder we mate
our escape from der Fishing Hatchery
den came der struggle for life to ged
back to der blaze from whence we
came. Der King of France init feety
thousand men, he marched dem ub del
hill und den he marched dem down
again, me und der Mutter fell down der
hill und now id vas ub to us to march
back again. Der Steepness uf der hill
LOGGED Hge id might be ad an angle
uf $50 degrees in der shade und We
set, 'Neffer again. ad least nod until
der steps hat been fixed again. You
should hat seen us ploughing oudt dose
cross tie steps init our feet trying to
ged feet hold in orter to ged up der
hill. Dare vos no more saplings to
ketchetholt uf, as der Mutter hat
snatched dem all oudt in her Wild ca-
reer going down und We vos ub against
1d-againSt der hill. To mage a long
story uf hardships und exertions COUP
led nit chenille adjectives uf sefen diff
ferent lankwidges, short we finally
vonce more reached der park Alder
some shordt continual resting We pro-
ceeded to grab Streedt car for home.
bud dare vos a cubble Uf hundred on
der goot players midoudt oursellufs
Waiting for der same purpose und ven
der feerst car came along, We managed
to grab id alright, but Tom Lowry viii
ne1fer know vot closeness he came
to losing i'd.
Budweiser," set Louie, you dit not
tell me how der fish eggs are Matched,
aindt id?'
''Vy." I set, der Mutter fish tages
all der eggs und puts dem in a basket
so dey can't ged away, und leds der va
ter run Offer DEM"
by Chincher, Budweiser," set Louie.
"dot ISIS wonderful, aindt id?"
Louie" set, do you know vot
kind uf a fishes you remind me uf der
most, yes?'
Il couldn't guess i'd" set Louie, "vot
id iss."
You are a sugger," I set, "und den
Louie vent into convulsionizings, und
vent home. -Budweiser."
Per E. Weisenburger.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
WILL ROAST STEERS FOR
VISITORS TO THE FAIR
Coliseum Committee Plans to Feed the
Multitude During the Big Agri-
cultural Show.

The Coliseum committee will hold a
barbecue on the state fair grounds
every day during the week of the fair
to help feed the large crowd of visitors
who will attend the fair, and, incident
ally, to swell the Coliseum fund
A large tent 1875 by $50 feet will be
pitched in, the rear of the depot build
ing, near the Minneapolis entrance to
the ground, and here every day twenty
steer, four sheep and four pigs will be
slaughtered and roasted. Light re-
freshments and coffee will also be
served.
The JTWenty-first regiment band, d.
rected by Bandmaster G. w. Graves,
will give q concert near the tent every
day during fair week. The tent will be
opened from IL o'clock in the morn
ing until 10 at night. The price Of adj
mission has been fixed at rs cents.
Wilbur Tibbals is chairman of the
committee, who will have charge. the
other members being e. Whitacre
John F. Kelly, John Dwyer, M. Kane.
w. L. Perkins Jr. and j. S. Moody.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
WEATHER FOR TODAY.

For Enthusiastically cloudy Sunday
and Monday; fresh southeast winds.
For Upper Michigan-Fair Sunday and
Monday; warmer Monday: winds shifting
to fresh east.
For WiSconSin-Fair Sunday, except
showers in extreme west portion; Mon
day showers; fresh east to southeast
winds.
For Iowa-Fair Sunday. except showers
In southwest portion; Monday showers
and warmer.
For Montana-Fair Sunday and Monday.
For North and South Dakota-Fair
Sunday, with warmer in east portions;
Monday fair.
St. Yesterdays temperatures
taken by the United States weather bu-
reau, st. Paul, P. F. Lyons, observer, for
the twenty-four hours ended at Z o'clock
last night-Barometer corrected for tenn
perature and elevation: Highest temper
AZURE, 70; lowest temperature, So; average
temperature. So; daily range, 20; barom-
eter, 80. IA; humidity, Y; precipitation. O.;
p: m, temperature, II; p. M, wind.
southeast; weather, partly cloudy.
Yesterdays Temperatures
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
OPIUM SMOKING GROWING.

With startling vividness government
statistics show that opium smoking.
which has kept the Chinese empire
centuries behind the rest of the world.
is becoming a national vice in the
United States. Custom house reports
and these by no means cover the full
quantity of the drug brought into the
republic, for thousands of dollars worth
OF nepenthe is smugg1ed in every year
indicate that over $4,000, 900 worth
OF the poppy was brought into this
country during the last twelve months.
With what awful strides the opium
habit is growing this side the Pacific
Is indicated in the fact that twenty
years ago American opium imports
only amounted in the aggregate to
100000 annually. This year a single
consignment from Macao, China, to an
American firm was valued at $500, 900.
1t arrived in San Francisco little more
than a month ago in SO cases and
nearly 100000 in duty was paid on it.
That there are opium Joints" In all
the large cities of the United States is
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
TARIFF REVISION, THE ISSUE.

There is one feature Of the political
situation in the Northwest which can
not be gotten away from. 1t is making
itself more and more familiar as the
political campaign of the next two
months draws closer to it's opening. It's
Importance is not confined to Mime
sofa or any other one state; and the
authorized effort of the national adj
ministration, through Secretary Shaw,
to smother it in the state Of Iowa will
be without result either in that state
or elsewhere. 1t is the popular demand
for tariff reform.
Before the advent Of the trusts, and
during the entire time of their crea-
ton under the fostering influence of
the Mckinley and Ding1ey tariffs, it
found expression; but the people never
before were animated by the convic-
ton which dominates them today, that
the tariff has been the chief agency in
developing the trusts, and that it oper-
ates to sustain the exactions of those
or EXAMINATIONS.
The withdrawal of Congressman
Heatwole from the political field has
been productive of certain good in
evcking from that gentleman the ex-
preston of certain opinions on this
subject which might not reasonably be
looked for had he remained a candidate
for reelection.
AS iS 0nnara11v lrpouyy, =,
Heatwole has been a steady advocate
of needed revision Of the tariff. His
voice and vote during the last session
We're given freely to the cause, and it is
certain that during the next session
he will act with even less restraint in
that direction. In a recent issue of the
Mortified News, Editor Heatwole
speaks very plainly on the subject Of
tariff revision and the sentiment in
support of it among the people of the
Northwest. 1.-THE people of the North
west" he says, ''have become fully con-
WINGED that they are paying excessive
prices for protected trust goods, which
are being sold cheaper in foreign mar
kets than at home. They are beginning
to realize that the foreign trade of the
Northwest, especially in it's food prod
ucts, will be diminished, and is liable
to be destroyed, unless some of the
tariff schedules are modified"
OF course they are convinced that
they are paying excessive prices for
the trust products. They are, more
over, convinced, as Mr.. HeatwoIe sug-
gests, that Northwestern products are
practically excluded from foreign mar
kets by the insurmountable modern
Chinese wall which his party has built
up around the foreign trade of the
country from the same material used
in the construction of the trusts. They
have been long so convinced; but the
truth has never been brought home to
therS with anything like the measure
Of force with which it has been i'm
pressed on them of late in all business
direction.
In the approaching congressional
campaign this will be the issue. The
revision of the tariff and the control
and regulation Of the trusts. are the
great political requirements of the
day In this section. Can Republican
successors of Congressman Heatwole
and the rest Of them-they themselves.
or others-be depended on by this peo-
pie to give expression to this convic-
ton in legislation In the party they
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
THERE ARE NO FIGURES
TO SHOW $4,000 SAVED
So Declares Chairman of State Board
of Control Regarding Statement
Made to That Effect.

Despite the fact that there are no
figures in evidence to support the
statement, it was given out by the
state board of control Friday that in
the neighborhood of 10000 had been
saved during the past year in the op-
Grafton Of the state institutions.
No less + authority than Chairman
Leavftt is responsible for the an
nouncemerit that there is no founda-
ton for the story. When seen yester-
day by a representative of TIL e
G regarding the statement, he
said:
There is absolutely no truth in, the
statenentyand the figures were not au-
thor1zed by any member of the state
board of control, nor did the story or
the figures come from the office. This
know. for I investigated the matter
this morning and found such to be
the case
There can be no foundation for the
story as the figures will not be ready
for at least four weeks. am unable
at this time to say whether or not we
have cut down expenses, but I hope
that such is the case"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24

noe news to any observing person. There
has, however, been a recent great in
crease in the use of the poppy drug in
homes. An estimate made a few days
ago indicates that several hundred
women of New York city are smokers
in the privacy of their apartments. 1t
is also true that the same state OF
things exists in Chicago, st. Louis and
to far greater degree in San Fran
CISCO
The occasional spasmodfc efforts made
to suppress the use of the loathsome
Chinese drug have not been successful,
for its use continues to increase to an
alarming extent. Admittedly the Opt
UNI habit is highly injurious and should
be reachable by legislatures and con-
7stabulary. Vigorous action should be
taken to prevent such spread of the
habit as to make of this energetic ma
ton one of indolent dreamers
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24


represent committed In any degree
whatever to the revision of the tariff
with reference tp the trusts or other
wise? Is It not rather determined on
maintaining the existing state of
things, on the theory of letting well
enough alo4e? THave not the Kasson
reciprocity treaties slumbered in their
pigeonholess since their negotiation?
Are they not likely to so sIumber on
indefinitely unless the party in power
is forced to take. action on them? Will
that result ever be achieved by the
people who favor tariff revision going
on voting for Republican candidates
for congress and the state legislators,
as they have been doing? Not at all.
There is only one way for the people
of the Northwest and the rest of the
country to bring about the needed re-
lief, and that way is to cast their votes
for intelligent and courageous men
wherever they present themselves
seeking election to congress on the
Dmocratic ticket.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24

into fishes. Id has always been some
mysteriousneSs to me how der mutter
fishes manages to keep der eggs to-
gedder SO dey don't scI1wim away be-
fore dey are alife, aindt id?"
Zach! Louie! Louiei!" 1 set, 'Tss id
impossible dot you don't know how
i'd ISIS done. You are always lege der
man from Missouri, show me- I tell
you vot id ISIS, Louie, der fish hatchery
is a fine place, bud der dislocation uf
id ISIS frightful. Last Sunday me und
der Mutter decided to mage a leedle
visit by der Indian Mounds und der
Fish Hatchery. Id vos an ideal day
for der streedt railway Company. Ev-
erybody grabbed a streedt car und ad
Won time id LOGGED lege dare vos nod
going to be enough cars to go aroundt,
but anytime der Mutter don't ged on a
streedt car, ids because der car don't
go, Louie, und don't forged to remem-
Der id, eyther. You notice set 'eyth-
err. 1 always say dot ven hat money.
Ven haf no moneys den say 'eether.'
sees't du? Bud anyway We vented to
der Indian Mounds und den We brafely
made dash for der Nord PoIe-T mean
der Fish Hatchery, ind right here 1
will say id und schwear by Isadore
Cohen's oath so helb me- der next time
l hat to make a dash und choose be-
tween der Nord Pole und der Fish
Hatchery, me to dee Nord Pole even If
l hat to live on fried icicles und canned
SnowballS. Id ISIS Someding fierce to
mage der trip. Ven you stand from der
Indian Mounds down der hill, you sim
bly, led go uf yourselluf und on der
way down you grab ad a post here und
dare und vonce or two times you tear
oudt a Sapling chust to steady your
Selluf. Der Mutter ISIS nod light
weight, so to speak, und der way der
young trees was laying aroundt loose
ware she hat grabbed dem oudt uf der
ground made id loog lige a cyclone hat
came down der hill. Den We hit der
sand und dust ad der bottom uf der
mountain ware id vos ub to der shoe
tops. Such Sensational feeling id
is ven you are wearing dose decollete
shoes cut low in der frondt NIT fancy
open work stockings to wade around
in der dust ub nit your ankels. Uf
course we vos mad aboudt id und
kicked ub a leedle dust, bud vot ISIS
der use, aindt id.
I've finally arrifed ad our destina-
ton, und Louie you should hat seen
der fishes.
Der Mutter vas tickled to death.
'Ach! Fotter,' she set, see der leedle
fishes schwimming around der water,
aindt i'd
'.Vy uf course" set, "you don't sub
bose dey would be drifting aroundt NIT
horse und buggy-yes." You should
hat see me side step der ubber cut vich
der Mutter handed to me. could be
going yet uf id had landed on me right.
Bud talking abound der fishes, Louie,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-24
TOO MUCH jim.

/ whenever a rhymster thinks it well
of thrilling. heroic deed to tell
"A oeed IN which daring and pathos mix
AND the readers attention is bound to
fix
lie deems the anecdote incomplete,
with flaw that makes an artistic cheat
ana showing of genius not a glim
Ii he doesn't dub his hero Jim.
II brave man snatches a child from death
In the locomotives fiery breath;
Ii he keeps drowning girl alive
BY d1nt OF timely rescuing dive;
saves women from burning homes at night
Or extracts the juice from a rattIer,s bite
immortal glory is not for him
Unless ne can boast the name Of Jim.
Oh. warbling bardi take another STEER,
Lend us brief section Of your ear,
While we implore you, by all you love.
From the ground below to the skies
above,
10 select more freely from the names
Our exhaustive vernacular entrances
Try Harry, Bill, Jake, Tom, Steve or Ed.
Al Charlie, Cy,, Edgar or George instead:
Try Oliver. Gus, Fred, Dick, Sam. Jack.
Adoniram. Moses or even Mac:
Try any old handle that suits YOUR whir,
But for heavens sake give us rest on
~,zS Jin.f p
John Talman.