davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
THE FUNNY MAN.
Can Be Gloomy as Well as Humorous At
Times,

tttt
The gloomic.t man in the world
sthc funmakcr when he begins to feel
sad. said a thoughhtful citizen TO a
New Orleans Timc~-Dcmocrat man,
"and have often thought that a re-
Hulsion from a Falstailian or Pickwick-
ian mood to the more melancholy con-
dition OF sobcr-mindcdntss must car
ry with 1t a depressing influence
which the average nan wots not Of.
Fun has it, serious side. Sometimes
the joke is but the other eide Of q
tragedy. There is food for reflection
along these lines. somewhat Of the
philosophy which idle minds have
woven into the woof and warp OF hui
man life since men began I oknow and
love each other. recall reading some
time ago that women were inclined TO
love more readily the two extremes,
the funny man and the melancholy.
Love Of the l%ighthearted aud the friv-
olous. on the one hand. and the cle-
mcnt of compassion and sympathy
upon the other. may explain the fact,
IL /. is a fact. and ! do not doubt il.
Women somehow are built that way,
aud the world il better for il. but
the funny mar is not always funny.
Sometime. hi jcsts are the little
sunny weapons which he uses to beat
back the dependency which is about
TO sweep down upon him. His little
sallies provoke the laughter Of his
friends. and they jest and laugh to.
gcthcr until the shadows pass. and
the light comes. and the sunny ,idc Of
life lie there again. Thus one may use
the laughter Of ones friends in the
unequal struggle against the unhop.
pier moods. When the lips begin 10
part. and the teeth begin TO show,
when the dimplcs begin TO play, and
the human voice ripplos out in jolly
laughter, melancholy may SEEK her
hiding, for the world begins TO bright
en-. Even the mock laughter in the
song and the play. when il bubbles
forth as the result Of some happy i'm
pulse, cheers the world and makes il
better. And yet n scarcely knows
where to draw the line between the
comic and the tragic. ] have seen
men and women laugh at the rawlings
Of King Lear and idly jest when Shy.
lock shamblcd from the stage, ruined.
disappointed. br0ken-hearted. l
have seen others weep for the Dromios
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
BREvITIES OF FUN.

Eycmpt.-"'Thcre's one good thing
about Mrs. DE Sneere-she never
ISLANDERS her best friends mo; she
hasn'tsn San Francisco Bulletin.
Mrs.. llomer.-"Jane. open that
window and let a little fresh air into
the house" Jane-"lt isn't fresh air
at all at all. mem. its the same air
that's been about here all the morn
ing. boston Transcript.
\ Crushing Commcnt.-"Oh, | can
marry any one | please" said he, and
curled his lip conccitcdly, you'll
never marry, them said Madge. the
tease, for there are none that you
could please. you .ee."-Philadclphia
Press.
Placing llim-"He doesn't amount
tosbucks." laid the girl from the Kan
sas corn belt pardon me-" said
the girl from Boston, but it seems
to me that he really isn't on an equal
ity with a hill Of beans."-Clcvcland
Plain Dealer.
Father Co little son)-"And how
are you getting on at school. John
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

The Antaimoro. one Of the oldest
tribes Of Madagascar. possess the Sc
cret Of making, from the pulp IA ma
live shrub. a very beautiful and en-
during kind Of parchment. Each fam
lily possesses a few sheets Of this pa.
per, on which its chronicles and ira
ditions are recorded. and the same pa
per is used for transcribingth Inc laws Of
Mohnmmedanism. The paper is said
TO have been invented in the middle
of the ninth century by 4 Mohammc-
dan. sh%ipwrecked on the coast, who
desired to transcribe his torn and VA
ter.soaked copy Of the Koran in an
enduring form. The Antaimoro wili
only make the paper for sale whea
some pressing necessity arises.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

The dog can emit four or five diff
fcrent tones, each indicative of a spe-
cial mental condition and oach fully
understood by its companions. The
bsrndoor fowl is credited with from
nine TO twelve distinct vocal sounds,
each capable Of a special intcrpreta-
ton by it, fellow, The gestures Of
the lower animals are either facial,
like the grimaces Of the monkey, or
changes Of bodily attitude, like those
OF a dog. After citing the aboye.men-
toned facts, the president Of the
anthropological section ofthe British
association, in a recent address, went
on TO say that he thought 1t might
not unreasonably be inferred that the
remote progenitors Of man relied
upon equally lowly means of COM
municatlon, and that from such
humble beginnings speech has 1een
slowly eyeloved. Even yet we find
gestures, facial expressions and GER
tain vocal sounds often more eloquent
than words.-Iouth's Companion.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
The Study Of Con.
temporary Heroes ~
By PROF. GEORGE e. VINCENT.
Chicago University.

formation of ideals no less than medieval crusaders or the heroes ~
Greece and Rome.
There are virtues universal, virtues of purity and courage. Of
loyalty and selfsacrifcc, admirable in all lands and in all ages: bu,
these virtues are interpreted by every people and every epoch. The
virtues OF the past must be translated into those OF the present. As alb
Stract virtues 'hey are hieess things; they must be incarnated in per-
sonahi'es before they can have power over the young. Here lterar
turc and life lend their aid.
THE GREAT PROBLEM OF AMERICAN EDUCATION 10
THE PROBLEM OF MAKING BETTER CITIZENS. Even IN
state this is to perpetrate a platitude, to obtrude the obvious. But
the solution OF the problem lies in bringing the school into closer !.
lation with life. The studies which have been too far distracted from
human experience must be brought back again into contact with the
concrete social experience from which they sprang. The highest ideal,
OF cooperation, loyalty, sacrifice, which men have wrought out in the
past and present must live again in the personalities of the Young.
Only mature life can see the full development Of character. bu.
the soc'alzed school, under the guidance OF a hgh-minded teacher
who sees life whole. may render Invaluable service.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

or sigh deeply over falsiaG'. living
humor. suppose it depend. largely
on ones mood and ones way Of view
ing things. There is somewhat Of
sunshine in every life. The funny
man has the talent Of using what he
has and he profits aud increases his
supply by calling to the surface the
lighter and brighter nature Of his
friends. and in this WY he manages
TO beat back the shadows when they
threaten TO cngulf him. have
known from onc end Of the countryt TO
country. men who have amused great
audiences with their wit and non
sense, Ministries whose names arc
known from n end ofthc country TO
the other. and ] have seen them in
that awful mood when the world
looked to them like a barren waste
and the home OF shadows. Wilde in
this mood the funny man isthcsedSst
man in the world. hut when tho
humorous impulse begins TO play ho
owe with marvellous mpidity. and
the world is soon frightened until il
seems to be swept by a perfect food
OF light. aud laughter begins to part
the lips and show ihciecth again, and
axarx snuut a.a... A..
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
PNEUMONIA.

time

Attention has been directed 80
often to consumption as the most ia
ial enemy Of mankind that IL close
rival for the grewsome honor. pneu.
monia. has almost escaped general no.
tice. And yet almost. il not quite, as
many deaths in the United States are
caused by pneumonia AS by tubcrcu-
losis, and the disease which il the
swifter in its deadly work is making
the rapidcr growth. The United
States census shows that, while con-
sumption increased only from l02,.
1919 Deaths in 1890 to III .O59 in 1900,
pneumonia increased duringt the same
period from 1896 to l05,07i. This
rate Of increase. il. sustained, would
make the deaths from pneumonia
this year just about equal those from
tuberculosis. Supplementary evil
dence is furnished from Michigan by
DIR. G. l.. Wilbur, chief ofthe division
OF vital statistics. Only one death in
IL was caused by tuberculosis in
Michigan in 1901, a much smaller
mortality than is usually attributed
to that disease, and instead of occupy
ing the place of the most fatal dis
ease consumption has for two years
been second to pneumonia, the deaths
from these two causes in 1901 being
2,ial and 1908 respectively
Springfield Republican.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
DUCK SHOOTING.
Enthusiastic Young Sport Gets q Coo
Bag-Biras Were Tame.

Bag Bhos Were Tame.
They were men in the prime OF
life. with many business cares and
worries TO occupy their minds. but
nothing pleased them more than to
gather around the table in a Of
the club to which they belonged and
tell tales of the days when as boys
they made cigarettes out Of corn husks
and smoked them behind the barn.
One Of them. a prominent lawyer oil
Milwaukee. who is noted for his love
of the dog and gun, with which he
goes on periodical excursions TO the
woods of northern Wisconsin. says
the Sentinel, told the following story
the other day:
"As a boy liked nothing better
than to take down my fathers shot
gun from its place in the woodshed
and sneak ont Of the back door. 90
down to a lake nearby and try to baga
few ducks. | was rarely successful,
and generally got back to the house
just in time to get a good scolding
from my mother. who was exceeding
worried for fear ! might shoot myself
instead of something better fitted for
the pot. Her protests were Of little
avail. but | learned ! was less likely
TO be dissuadcd from my purpose If
she failed TO see me start of. There
fore, ! frequently arose beforethcsun
and made my way. gun in hand. to
the lake. Now and then would get
a shot at something. but invariably
missed ard went back to the house
disconsolate. One morning. however,
late in October. ! got TO the LAKE while
it VA still dark and to my great joy
saw an immense flock Of ducks sport
ing in the water within a few feet Of
the shore.
with the greatest possible amount
Of caution ! crawlcd through the
bushes to within a short distance Of
the unsuspecting flock and let 90 the
contents Of both barrels right in the
midst Of the ducks. and then reload
ing quickly, let them have il a second
time. There was no such thing as
missing them; they weretoo close and
there were too many Of them. When
! waded into the cold water to pick up
the result. Of my strategy ! found
nine heavy ducks kicking and splash
ing about. Some Of them we're very
much alive. though somewhat Grip
pied. but finally ! succeeded in get.
ting thomal cornered up in the wood
shed. after making three trips TO the
lake. When the folks got up ! joyful
" told them the good news. Father,
mother. brothers and sisters all
troopcd out to the wood.hed. and then
for the first time | was madeto realize
that my ducks were tame and from
somebody's runaway flock. My father
tried to find out who they belonged
to. but did not succeed. In spite Of
the humiliation | was made to suffer,
We lived high ON those ducks for a
time"
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
Famous Frescoes Ruined.

In the work Of restoring the An
Coeli church at Rome the famous mu-
raj frescoes OF Pinturicchio have been
completely ruined, several large nails
having been driven into them.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
Sugar Coat II.

II you insist upon giving advice b.
merciful and sugar coat il 20 that is
will pass for sympathy.
Globe.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

heroes.
Let school pupils search the
press and the community for high
types Of conduct.
The fireman, the railway en-
gineer, the ~lifc-saver. the miner.
the factory hand. the rcformcr. the
philanthropist of to-day aid the
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21
The Way II Seem.

Did you vel notice how vulgarly
loud those talk who are c~riticising
youf--Atchison Globe.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

Nobody thinks he is mcddler. but
VIC all ae.-Washington Qa.) Demo.
crat.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

II is in the field Of moral education that I would emphasize tn.
plea, which Prof Patten made Some years ago. for contemporary
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
EcLIpsEs LONG AGO.

In reply TO question as 70 what au-
thority anirms the incident Of
the going back Of the shadow
on the sun.dal Of Ahaz, we can state
that according to the information we
have the question is fully discussed
by George y, Chambers, fellow Of
the Royal Astronomical society Of
England, IN his "The Story Of Eclipses -
work that no doubt can be obtained
through any large publishing house
The late j, w Bosanquet is said to
have made the necessary computo.
lions and ascertained that in the year
$50 q. c., there was partial eclipse
Of the sun at 1880 a. m. visible in
Jerusalem.
Other eclipses Of the sun mentioned
In the Old Testament, have also been
verified. Sir II. Rawlnson found a tab
let at Nineyeh recording an eclipse
which is supposed TO have taken place
on the 10th OF June, 1853 Il. G. In this.
II Is thought by some the darkness
predicted by the Prophet Amos found
literal fulhlment though the lltera.
fulalment by no means exhausts the
full scope OF that prophecy. II was an
event 10 which both ecclesiastical and
secular writer's seem to have attached
special Importance.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12

fostered a race hatred that only needs
a spark to break out IN uncomfortable
flames. 10 the japanese, the Russians
are but "hairy brutes," and the RUS
SLAMS generally refer 70 the japanese
40 little monkeys This race hatred
pervades an CLASSES, and II ~ fostcred
by the political leaders
IL Is not believed that either coun-
try IL as yet ready for conflict. But
both are making preparations, by
training and drilling their soldiers and
increasing the revenues And Il is eyi-
dent that the present agreement With
Great Britain Is part Of this prepara-
ton II may serve TO postpone the
eyil day or II may not, But whenever
the day OF contest comes It win be
fierce. The Russian army Is composed
OF men Of stalwart build, rigorous
training and larger degree Of enc
durance than any other fghting force
in the world The Japanese proved
themselves great lighters IN the war
with China And since then they have
been even more naryelously drilled
They have a mobility that VIII count
for much against physically and nu-
merlCally stronger enemy.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
77777777|777777777
ANGLo.JAPANEsE ALLIANCE,

The news from London, that a def
mite alliance between Great Britain and
Japan has been concluded, Is of extra
ordinary interest 1t Is entered into
for the purpose OF maintaining the in
tegrlty Of China and Corea, and Is,
consequently a notice 10 Russia that
further encroachments In either dlrec-
ton may cause war
The essence OF the treaty IS. that the
two powers pledge themselves to de-
fend their particular interests in the
two countries, II either OF them should
become involved in a war; the other
power will remain neutral and en-
deayor TO persuade other powers from
joining IN hostiltes But If any other
power join In hostile actions against
the ally, the other party 10 the agree
ment will come 10 It's aid. Any two or
more powers commencing hostllltles In
either China or Corea would thus have
to count with Japan and Great Britain
combined.
That this Is fraught with the grav-
est consequences, cannot BIO doubted
Those best acquainted with conditions
In eastern Asia are Of the opinion that
Russia and Japan must meet ON the
battlefield Russia is steadily seeking
supremacy over Corea, and Japan takes
the stand that that country must not
be Russianized.
The contest about this country has
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Immediately on the ratification Of the
treaty "by both the contracting parties
according TO their respective proceed
ure," and the exchange OF the rati0ca
tious, the United States has the right
Of immediate possession; formal deliv-
cry OF the coded territory and property
Is to be made by Denmark, immediate
ly after the payment to the Danish rep
resentatiye In Washington of $4,000. 00u
In gold coin Of the United States which
payment must be made within ninety
days Of the exchange Of Publications.
Congress has 10 make the appropria
ton. but that will be a matter OF
course, When the treaty is ratified il
becomes the supreme law and Congress
would no more refuse to make the APP
preparation than It would refuse to pro-
vide for payment OF Interest on the
public debt.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
Chlcago NeMa.

It is especially gratifying that the
treaty not only permits these peopl,
to retain their allegiance 10 Denmark
but expressly stipulates that they shall
be free TO choose for themselves In
this matter They will have two years
In which 10 make up their minds. Dur
ing thai time they may either renOunce
their allegiance 10 Denmark and be-
come Americans or u they prefer, they
may reatlirm their allegiance 10 Den.
mark and remain Danish citizens NJ
discrimination will be permitted as To
their individual rights no matter what
course they pursue, and the United
States win bring no pressure TO bear
upon them save as II may impress
them with It's good faith Its wise ad.
mlnisIatlon and It's frlendlness This
Is as Il should be The mtpnlgen,
Danes OF the islands, moreover. when
they dud that they are perfectly free
TO follow their preferences as TO ciu.
zenship, viii be Tar more likely 10 feel
friendly spirit toward this country
than they would had the transfer Of
the territory been regarded as inyolv.
ing also transfer OF their allegiance
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
A QUEER CONTROVERSY,

The contention In Europe as TO which
Of the leading powers was our best
friend, when the war with Spain wan
contemplated ls becoming decidedly In
toresting. The statement made by the
Kreus 2etung was quite specific, and
evidently came from official sources.
It was to the effect that on April n,
1898 only a couple OF weeks before the
battle OF Manila bay-the German for
elgn Office received the Information
from Washington, that Lord Paunce-
fote had proposed collective note de-
oaring American Intervention IN be-
half Of Cuba 'unjustlfiablo." The state.
mont was denied IN London, but reas-
serted in Berlin by a high official And
now Il ls again denied In London Lord
Cranborne. in a reply to a question by
Liberal member Of parliament, said
emphatlcaliy that "her late malesty's
government never proposed through
her maiesty's ambassador or otherwise,
any declaration adverse to the action
OF the United states In cuba" II this
IS to be taken literally Lord Paunoo-
fote must have acted on his own re-
sponslbility, and not IN behalf Of "her
late majesty's government"
The entire controversy seems hard
~ worthy Of the time spent on H. II
Is known that Austria put forth every
endeavor IN behalf Of Spain and that
very polite expressions Of hope for
peaceful settlement were made IN
Washington, which were received with
equal pollteness though the powers
were given 10 understand that Inter
ference was not desired What trans
PRED after that, IS not clear. But II
Lord Pauncefote and the other mom-
bers Of the diplomatic corps, with or
without definite instructions. continued
their efforts in behalf Of peace they
should not he blamed, but rather laud-
ed. The expression credited to Lord
pauncefote, that our war was "unjus-
tnable," Is subject to criticism, as a
foreign representative IL not supposed
to express opinions on the politics Of a
nation TO which he " accredited, and
Il Is difficult to conceive that he did
80. But II he did, he said no more than
what some American citizens have said
ever since the war broke out.
TO this country II Is immaterlal what
nations were our special friends dur
ing the crisis that Is past. No assist
ance was needed, and none asked for
No sacrifices In our behalf were expect
ed, TO this country It Is enough to
know what friends II has now and for
the future. in the enterprises that tend
toward the building up of Industry ana
commerce Europe may probably leave
Off the puerlle bubble now going on,
and leave TO history to shed light upon
the points that seem dark but the
clearing up Of which may have hIstorI-
cal interest For the present there Is
more important business 10 engage the
attention of statesmen.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
AMERICA FOR AMERICANS.

John T. Buchanan, IN the February
Forum, deals with the problem OF
assImilatlng the foreign element Of the
population OF the United States. lie
thinks that unless an intelligent effort
is made for the protection of our ma
tional ideas, the country will be In a
fair way 10 become un-Amerlcanized.
1t Is not necessary to feel alarmed at
imaginative dangers, or shy at shad-
ows, but 1t can hardly be denied that
the problem with which the writer In
the Forum deals. presents some difficult
ties Of more than an imaginary nature
A great many immigrants from the old
World never become thoroughly Amer
icanized. They live in the past, They
never can adjust themselves perfectly
to the new surroundings. Their child
rem become Americans In sentiment, In
thinking and living but the 'old folks"
remain strangers amid strange sur
roundlngs. They become easy preys to
interruptions agitators who find 1t
Improbable, by various means to keep
up national distinctions and national
preiudioes.
Mr. Buchanans remedy for this IS
compulsory education, and certain edu-
catonal qualifications for all who seek
TO obtain the privilege Of citizenship.
This deserves consideration The coun-
try should not be closed against any
desirable immigrants who come here
because they desire liberty from oppres-
sion, and who come willing and able to
help build up the country. But at the
same time, no person ignorant of the
fundamental principles Of government
is really fit TO take any part in govern
ment We are not justified in surround
Ing our shores with insurmountable
barriers against desirable additions to
our industrial army, but II is neces-
sary, when they come, TO teach them
that they are not here for the purpose
OF forming factions in order that they
may become generals, As MIR. Buchan-
an puts 1t:
"St, Ambrose sald When | am at
| Rome ] do as they do nc Rome And we
should be entirely justified II we were
TO say to the incoming alien when he
| arrives Thou shalt do az we do, IN
our land our language shall be thy lang
uage; our customs shall be thy GUS
| tOms'h
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-12
THE DANISH ISLANDS.
Chicago Record i. Herald.

The text Of the Danish treaty, IA
yorably reported from the Senate com.
mittee, discloses the fact that Secretary
HAY has driven a good bargain In West
Indian islands. II the treaty ls ratified
Thomas, st. Croix and 81, John, In the
West Indies, for the sum OF S5,00O,0O0
In gold coin Considering the increased
value Of these Islands TO the United
States as result Of the Spanish
American war and In consequence OF
our control Of the proposed isthnllan
canal, the price asked by Denmark is
trinins consideration, being littlv
more than the cost of frstclass bat.
tleship.