The Springfield herald., 1902-02-21

The only chance the Indian has to
avoid a hair cut is to learn to play
football or tho piano.
II the sale OF lecture notes at Kar-
ward is stopped some Harvard stu
dents will have to get to work.
In some of the remote mining camps
of the Northwest sack of flour is al
most equivalent to a sack of gold.
A Chicago man shot five times at his
wife, wounding her slightly. He is
probably a French duelist in disguise.
A Chicago woman has told her sor-
rows in song. and in consequence her
friends are always saddest when she
sings.
When the country is in danger the
country yells for strong president.
At other times the temptation is to
yell at him.
One of the good signs OF the times
is the steadily decreasing interest in
prize fights, or rather in the men who
talk prize fight.
No thrifty ghost will be tempted to
place himself on exhibition before the
French academy of science for the
paltry prize OF $4,000.
Fitzjames turns out to be another of
Sybil Sanderson's misfts. Perhaps all
SYPHILIS affections went overheard on
that very rough passage to Europe.
A new form of reciprocity has been
developed in New York. where the
women threaten to close the churches
unless the men shall c,ose the saloons.
A man of Wooster. Ohio, is mourn
ing the death of parrot that he has
had for sixty-one years. 1t is to be
hoped that Polly was prepared to die.
When he gets right down to business
there is more provocauon in one
square inch of Kipling's rhyme than
in square mile Of anybody's else's
prose.
New York fixed the responsibility for
the tunnel disaster with promptness
that has pleased everybody excepting
the directors on whom the burden has
been placed.
Miss Susan B. Anthony says women
will quit getting married as they be-
come more intelligent. AS We can draw
on Europe for population it doesn't
matter much.
Partisan women are boycotting Eng
lish governesses because the English
women are too stupid to see the primi-
tive humor of the ribald anti-English
political cartoon.
In Paris The Love Letters of an
Englishwoman are considered IN
fiammatory. The love letters OF tho
Frenchwoman OF the French novel are
a devouring confiagration-
China is to employ modern business
methods This will make it necessary
to materially increase the size OF the
typewriting machines or abolish some
of the Chinese characters.
AS the meetings of the trustees OF
the Carnegie institution are likely tc
come in the midst of the hunting sea-
son. Mr.. Cleveland has declined to
serve as a member of the board.
It is thought that the revised estl-
mate now being prepared of the tenn
perature of the sun will place 1t close
to II 900 degrees Fahrenheit. No one
will care to see the exact figures.
John F. Dryden, who has won in the
long contest for election as United
States senator from New Jersey, is
Pennington, Me-. man. New England
men have a faculty for getting there.
1t does not seem to have occurred to
the committee of arrangements in
charge of Prince Henry's visit to this
country that he might not like the
rapid pace they have scheduled for
him.
Senator Tillman should institute an
investigation OF the czar for his das-
tardly conduct in exiling Russian ed
ttor who uncorked a violent philippe
against the house OF Alexander and
Nicholas.
There is concerted movement
against the docking Of horses tails in
Maryland which is likely to take the
shape of legislation. Let us hope the
lawmakers may show the possession OF
horse sense.
Indigestion and dyspepsia appear to
be the prevailing complaints at Har-
ward according to the report OF the
medical authority at the university