New-York tribune., 1902-07-20
HAD THE PING PONG EYE
CELLULOID SPHERES
TO READING HABIT

had always known Jones as a frank, open
faced fellow. and accordingly was not a little
grieved and perhaps shocked when ran across
him the other day in the corridor Of Broad
way hotel. and found that he refused TO meet
my eye. He came up readily enough. and ex-
changed grips. but there none Of the spirit
meeting spirit" There something hangdog
about the His eye shifty, constantly
darting UP and down. back and forth. 1t had
short. uneasy motion which was distinctly dis
agreeable.
Jones'" said 1. in some disgust have YOU
been robbing bank or planning an elopement
Really, do you know, I don't like your look"
II know all about it, he replied sadly. The
fact is. I've got the ping pong eye"
II have heard tell of the pink eye. I have
read OF the Egyptian cigarette heart. 1 may
even go so far as TO say that l have seen
the bicycle face. But you have sprung a new
one me with your ping pong eye Do tell me
all about it."
I've got it," he replied briefly and rather
wearily
You'd better tell an old friend suggested
sympatheticaIIy."
well. 1 WILL" he returned. after a moment
Of thought. This condition in which you see
has been going on for a fortnight.
1 began playing ping pong
Poor fellow" said / gently
Il began playing ping pong a little over
month ago. The habit grew on me. 1 played
II nightly with my wife and children had
morning bouts with my firm I couldn't shake
myself loose from II. You know how it is Lit
tie by little I began TO realize that something
was wrong with me. Things were always dane
ing back and forth TO my sight My eye re-
fused TO stay put on any object Everything
acquired motion / watched them / was un-
eeaslngly busy with to and fro play OF the
optics. In short. had the ping pong eye
But what is your theory for all this?
asked l.
There is only one explanation" he returned.
''You know yourself that the dimensions of the
arena demanded by the game are limited. y
six-fOOt table. on which the cellulOid sphere
comes and goes. back and forth. 10 and fro.
here and there. now that side. now this. hither
and
Yes yes" said hastily. II know"
The play of the eye. which should have from
the sky line TO the pit Of the heavens for its
range. is miserably confined TO dining room
table. which abOminable little ball is
ceaseessly dancing-that is. if you play Well"
he added. We'll, gradually the eye learns the
lesson of its petty radius. picks up the trick Of
an unsubdued res'lessness. ana there You are.
But hear me out. My friends are falling away.
They saw don't make a good impression on
strangers, that it has ceased to be a pleasure
to introduce me to the lately arrived relative.
Acquaintance say that 1 suggest something
criminal. Why. 1 was blackballed for a club
the other day, and it was ping pong club at
that"
This is a black business I said as kindly
as could. But surely you have given up the
gamer"
Yes. but they tell me that my eye still wig
giles. 1t does. doesn't it?''
Yes ] replied. 1T does wiggle some
The only gleam Of comfort in the whole affair
is the fact that the direction of the wigge is
exactly at right angles to the motion of reading.
That, YOU see, is a constant criss-crOsS. from
side to side, while this is back and forth. here
and
Yes I said: Il know"
Really" he continued. with more cheerful
ness than he had Yet shown. this new motion
of mine is a good antidote for the strain OF
keeping up with things in the reading line"
You mean that ping pong is a cure for the
historical novel habit?'' I asked.
Exactly that he exclaimed with consider
able animation. Il hadn't thought OF il in Just
that way, but I guess you're right. Anyway.
you've cheered up a lot"
Then he hastily disappeared. as he saw one OF
his oldtime associates approaching.