The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1902-12-22
MAKING Her way
IN SOCIETY," WHICH
ALWAYS CONFRONT

Has Not Done That for Her-Whom
She Shall Ask TO Call and How She
Shall Do It-suppOse He Asks.
One of the problems which always
confront the young girl who has just
been introduced to society is whom
shall ask to call. OF the men / know
and the men 1 will now meet are to be
asked to visit me? And how is it TO
be done? 1t is an important matter To
the girl who doesn't know many men
and realizes that she must have a set
of acquaintances if she re If wants
to entertain or have i E % l..}!e when
she is invited out.
As rule, the young girl WHO makes
her bow to society knows only the
youthful friends of her sch. oil days.
She may have met some of the older
men at the dancing classes for young
girls who are still supposed to be in
school. But these men are likely to re-
main only acquaintance who danced
with her because she was q neat look
ing little thing, or belonged to a fam
lily they know. She would not dream
of asking one of them to come to see
her.
If her place in society is very near
the top, her family will know every
body. Young men whom they have
never met personally are the sons Of
their old friends and the mother who
wants to invite them feels quite at
liberty to do so when they figure at
nf No oh hpy
daughter is likely to be present.
In many cases, a woman will invite
to a coming-out dance the entire list
of persons who belonged to the dane
sng classes of which her daughter was
a member. Then the young people of
her entire visiting list will be invited.
AS these will generally include all the
persons in q certain set of society, the
lady finds herself supplied with a
ready-made circle of friends that will
last her for year or two.
After the Introductory tea or dance,
her mother will begin to invite the
most desirable or the most intimate of
these to dinner. That will form her
daughters more immediate circle and
there will be no need for asking any
man to call on her; nor need the
debutante trouble herself even about
those who most politely ask for per-
mission to come. Her supply will last
for the first season in any case.
Then if she does not marry, the girl
who has been out for two or three
years will begin to meet different set
of men. Some of them may not be so
thoroughly in her social set, some may
be foreigners and most of them will be
older than herself, and the majority of
men she has hitherto known. And
these acquaintance will be made under
circumstances that prevent the men
from calling as matter of course. If
she wants them she will be compelled
to invite them.
BY the time a girl has seen two or
three years of society, she knows
enough to await the opportunity to ask
gracefully man to call on her. If she
has met him several times at dances
or at dinners, and knows that he is the
! sort of person who would be acceptable
to her family as visitor, she can tell
him that she hopes to see him soon
again and say that she is certain her
mother would be glad TO have him
call. Or she may mention her day at
home and say that she would he glad
to have him call then. Or if they have
a mutual friend who has been a caller
at her house, she can tell him to come
some day to see her with Mr.. A.
If she has met man several times
and knows his address through friends,
it is quite permissible to ask him to a
tea or musicale, or even dance. She
has come to desire somewhat broad
Z er horizon, and has now become IA
niliar enough with social usage to
know how to invite her friends prop
erly herself.
But in the case of the young women
who do not come into society to find a
social set ahead awaiting them, the
question of inviting young men to call
!" is much more important. The girls
may have made sufficient acquaint-
ances to know men enough to supply
themselves at the dances to which they
are invited. Or they may have a large
enough acquaintance to know all they
need to know. But they will be thrown
much more on their own resources than
the young women who belong to the
highest social sets. In these, invita-
tions to one another's houses are given
with more freedom than in any other.
One family may have no personal ac-
quaintance with another and know
simply that it belongs to the same So
cial set. But it is very likely that a
3 hostess will Invite the young people of
the other family to any large enter
Fl tainment she may give, although there
is little or no personal acquaintance.
And all these traits Of high society are
agreeable for the young woman who is
making her bow to the world and finds
everything so easy for her.
The other girl, with fewer social ad-
,yantages although she may be quite
as literally endowed with good looks
and wealth, will find that she does not
know every man in her set so soon as
she comes out, chiefly because she does
, not possess an organized set in the
sense that the girl in society does. Nor
has she the old friends of her family
to fall back on, as the other girl has.
She Is thrown on her own resources,
i and while she wants a circle of men
friends, she, of course, seeks to form
it with the greatest regard to social
propriety and maidenly modesty
. There is never the slightest infrac-
tion Of either Of these rules when girl
& asks man whom she has met several
times to call on her. If they see one
another at dinner or dinners and the
man mainly exhibits q int araSt in her