The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1902-07-19
THAT REMINDS ME-

] Atlanta Constitution: 1t is warm enough
! now 10 roast beefsteak on the roof. but,
| unfortunately, beefsteak is even higher
! than the roof,
\ we have at last reached the conclusion
that the wind is stih in the wrong direc-
The mercury went so high yesterday
| that we failed to locate 1t with a spy
glass.
Judge: Lille Haekett lows as how he'll
go to London to see the corrynatlon, an
nV "Yep" an answered. Mr.. Rannit; IAN I
'spose he'll bother tn life o us tellin
about it just as We begin to git res!
on his stories about what ne saw at IN
WORKS fair, down in chicago
Yonkers Statesman: Hall-The author
tried very hard to make clean play Oh
that drama.
Shallow do you know? a.. .s.. cir,
come in five or six times during each
act and dust off the furniture?
%
New York Journal: The Elephant-po9
you suppose that naturalist really learned
to understand your language?
The monkey-I hope not You arter
heard some of the things we called him
while he was studying US.
Kansas City Star: Next to knowing
what you're talking about says the Al
falfa Sage sit is the most essential TO
know whom you are talking TO-
London Globe: This conversation was
overheard in the park not long ago: How
ooh! we enjoyed it immensely; you
know, Jack is so fond OF shakespeare
PLAYS" Ii reminds one of the old story
of the would=be literary young lady VINO
was asked which of SeOtt's novels she
liked best, SCOTS ''Ivanhoe," SCOTS
'2Talfsman.i' or Scott's Emulsion and
instantly decided in favor of the last.
Philadelphia Press: Ma-Willie. what's
your little brother crying for?
Wilre-Aw7s just because he don't on wan, want
to learn anything. just took his candy
and showed him how to eat 1t.
Philadelphia Record; Good wine
needs no BUSH quoted the teacher.
Now. can anyone tell what that means
ct guess replied the saloonkeepers
son. cit means you can make it with
alcohol and logwood good enough to ZOO
most people"
Boston Post: why do you spit on your
bait?" asked the city angler sarcastically
of the boy with the bent pole and knotted
line,
fool question. I've ketched four fish since
you got here, an you haven't had bite
.
Chicago Tribune: Cholly-Fm going to
spend my vacation on the broad plains
of the west. l want to give my mind
Birdie-Going to have something done
to your head?
Chicago Daily News: She had Just
handed him the icy mitt- You are
heartless woman" he Kissed in a tone
seventeen degrees more bitter than quiz
nine. but, thank heaven, have at last
found you out"
atOr. and what is more, you will con-
tinue to find me out hereafter should you
call"
Chicago Record-Herald: This country
said the owner of the Blue Streak, lis
getting simply unfit for a gentleman to
live in. / ran over a little girl yesterday,
and when l offered to pay her father a
reasonable amount, the brute got club
and would have assaulted me if it hadn't
been for the police
The unreasonableness of the lower
classes" replied the owner of the Yellow
Demon almost passes g comprehension
New York Sun: Cohesion (patronizing-
ly)-My wife Won't lif in der suburbs on
account Of der mosquitoes.
in the city because she's afraid of fire
bugs.
Exchange; why didn't you tell
Toughboy that he lied?"
MY telephone is out of order"
New York suns HE was between the
devil and the deep sea-"
And what was the resuit?'
''He didn't take water"
o q .
Indianapolis News: Jerry" said Fla
heFty. ''wot hoy We been doin' wild all
the money yeve been maxim since ye're
in politics."
New York Weekly: First Congressman
You have voted against every measure
that was for the best interests OF the ma
ton. What will you say to your con-
stituents when you get home?
Second C0ngFessman-Say2 Ill tell en-
I've got an appropriation for Mud creak.