The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-05-29
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row what you can do to-day. johnny
Well, then. I'll eat the rest of the pie
now.
Rising Man: "And have you no am
bition to rise In the world?' "Sure
ma'aml I'm porch climber "-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer
Thrown together: Egbert : Know
her? Fllbert = Yes Egbert-Qulte
well7 Filbert-We were thrown to.
gether from the same automobile
Judge.
You say O'Hannagan leaves the or.
phans' home large legacy" "Bedad,
It's purity large" How muchf'
Twelve children an goat, begorra."
-Tit-Bits.
Towne-I see Gayman had to pay
Miss Koy $4,000 for breach OF prom
Use. Browne-Yes, and now he's trying
to marry her for her money. hlladel-
phla Press.
An expensive luxury: Mr.. o'Toole
(enterlng doctors otiiee)-Shure, doctor,
Oh think OF have appIndicitls DR..
Smlth-Nonsense. mani You haven't
money enough for that.-Judge
Doubtless she WINS: Mrs. Browne
And who Is the president OF your club
now, Mrs. Malaprop? Mrs. Malaprop
(proudly)-l am the present encum-
brance, just now.-Phlladelphia Press.
John" she said, do you think you
can afford new gown for meY He
looked ct her sharply. Have you or
dered it?' he asked. Yes" "Then,"
he said, 81 can afford it."-Chlcago
Post
Conversation of Energy: "You say
you never gossip" Never" answered
Miss Cayenne; when | feel disposed
TO hear my neighbors discussed, mere
ly mention name and proceed to
listen. "-Washngton Star.
Dobbs-You ought to do something
for that cold OF yours. A neglected
cold often leads to serious conse-
quences. Mobbs-This one Is not neg
lected. Four or Ave hundred OF my
friends are looking after 1t.
Mr.. Wise-Johnny, can you tell me
why the little hand ON my watch goes
faster than the big one? Johnny (after
mature rehectlon)-Papa, Isn't It for
the same reason that | have to run
when | go walking with you?-Ex-
change.
parvenue-l hear the Newrlches
claim TO be better OFF than we are.
Mrs. Parvenue-That's perfectly ridlcu-
lous. Everybody knows we have more
money. Why. we receive over twice
as many begging letters as they do
Town Topics.
Lieutenant Ito his seryantl-"John, |
understand you are making love to my
colonels eookf" Seryant-"Yes, lieu
tenant" Lieutenant am Invited to
dinner there, and | want you 10 see to
II that | get something decent TO eat;
do you understand T-Fliegend Blat-
ter.
'Oh, come now. ! s'y" exclaimed the
Britisher. you must admit that were
ahead OF you In grite many w'ys.'
"In one great particular | admit you
are" said the Yankee. And that isf'
"Tlme. It's s o'clock In London. and
It's only 8 ere."-Phladelphl Rec
ord.
Too Much for Him: Civil Service Elk
amlner VERY sternly, to Erastus Smith,
colored. who asplres to the office OF
mail carrlerl--How far Is 1t from the
earth 10 the moon? Erastus 0n terror
-Golly, boss ef yo's gwlne TO put nae
on dat route | don't want de job
Judge.
The Prima Donna tafter the first acp
Il won't go on again unless that box
party makes less noise! | nearly had
Mysteries! The Manager Tin snrprlsel-
| didn't hear any noise. The Prlma
Donna-You didn't Why. they en-
cored that upstart of contralto four
tlmes,-Puck.
Plausible Enough: Aseum-How did
you make out with that story you sent
to the Klaptrap Magazinef Scribbler
Rejected. ! fancy 1t was too clever.
Ascum-Too clever? Serbbler-Yes. |
suppose they were afraid 1t would dis
tract attention from their advertising
pages Philadelphia Press.
What's In Name: festive writ
ten Name Woody an Invitation to my
tea. | supposed must. Jess-fes. but
you've spelled her name MAINE"
Tess-rhat's so. She spells 1t May
me-" doesn't shef Jess-Oh, no; she
did three months ago; but It's Mai
CHIME" now.-Phlladelphi Press
John" she whispered. there's a
burglar In the parlor He just bumped
against the plano and struck several
keys" "You don't say Ill go right
down." said he. "oh, John, don't do
ANYTHING rash." Rash? Why, I'm
going to help him. You don't suppose
he can remove that piano from the
house without assistance. do your
Philadelphia Press.
Bargain Day: Just after her hus-
band had arrived at the hospital his
wife regalned consciousness. DID she
get IT." the wife asked feebly. Get
what, dear?" he answered, bending
over her. why. that last yard of rib
bon marked down from ten cents;
saw II first and made up my mind the
other woman should not have II with
out struggle."-Ohlo State Journal.
Now that you have frittered away
your money" said the stern father,
before the quarter is half gone. you
-. %, ,,,nrart sIsothar - ra.