The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-06-24
SPOKEN
IN JEST )

Tit-Bits: Barber-Wir you have any
sir?
j vietim-I do not know. But 1 hope
youH leave my nose, at least.
J Philadelphia Press: See here said
the kindly old lady "I'n give you dime,
II you'll promise not to 90 right OFF and
spend IT in that saloon on the corner. "
All right lady. replied Thirsty
oooze-Jint I'll cut it. I'm willin ter
paternize any rumshop yer int rested in.'
g . .
Judge; Hogan-Would yez loike t see
klng Edward coronated2
keliy-Would OH Glory be! Troth. Old
Joke I sec him coronated an his ashes
lrun on a shlippery pavement In front av
saint Pathriek.s day parade
Washington star: You object to that
man because he used money to secure
your eiection2"
NO answered Senator Sorghum;
~ mat .I. $ not the point He didn't use it,
Puck: Then the police didn't raid the
NO When they got there they found
mat somebody had neglected TO give the
tip and the place was running in full
Life: Bella, tell me honest-are you
engaged to Mr.. Jones Of Yale or to that
sood-iooking Harvard manT'
- don't know yet. Wait till after the
Philadelphia Bulletin: Flora-Yes. I
sing in a church where they have an aW-
fully small congregation
Dora-Then why don't you stop sing
- % a.
Chicago Record Herald: "Who is your
faNorite authOr?" asked Mrs. Oldcastle
as she was looking through the magnifi-
cent library of the new neighbors
shakespeare, her hostess replied. II
90 think his Roll on thou deep and dark
blue ocean. ROLL is one Of the literariest
pieces l ever heard. Josiah was readin
II 10 me not long ago. and it almost made
me seaslck-it was that real
Z, q 9
indianapolis News: Il was at a swell
affair last night"
"A social function?"
No, it was entirely too swell to be
Chicago Daily News: Biggs-Is Windig
a man whose word one can depend upon?
Dlggs-Well, / wouldn't care to say any
thing against him, but in the Language
OF the poet it might be safe to remaTk
that TO him truth is stranger than fic-
ton
g g g
New York Press: Bobbie debating
letter to his sister)-Dear Miss Brown.
please xcuse BObbie for not bean at school
sinse Tewsday as he has add twothake
on Tewsday and on Wednesday he broke
IS harm and he ad 70 go 10 a party yes
terday afternoon. If he does not come
tomorrow 1t viii be because a boy thrue
Z stoan at is /. Yours troOly, Bobbies
Mother.
y o 9
Punch; Mamma meant to give YOU
a 5-penny bit this morning, Bobby but
IN my hurry think gave you sixpence.
So
Bobby-Yes, mummy, but I haven't
tomorrow?
Mamma-Give you what, dear?
Bobby-The 3-penny bit you meant to
give me today!
Washington Star: so you gained
complete victory over the foe2'
we did, answered the general, in a
somewhat dubious tone. 1T was easy
enough to conquer them in battle The
difficulty was IN getting the best Of the
bargain when it came to arranging terms
of surrender.
9 . .
Baltimore News: "And no matter what
calamity overtakes US" continued the
lecturer on Applied Philosophy" Eve
have always a comforting thought at
hand. For instance
The audience listened in suspense
The beef combine took away the poor
mans steak
To this proposition there was ready as
sent.
But now since the coal strike is on.
the poor man couldn't cook his steak if
he had it,