New-York tribune., 1902-04-28
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

General Tucker Of the British army I'm South
Africa. is noted for his violence of language
There arrived in the town commanded by the gen
eral an officer of Of the bushman corps. rough
Of language and fearless Of gold lace. He TAX
ing morning liquor at the club when the general
entered. The latter passing through the room
in which the colonial stood when ho noticed that
the Australians face was unfamiliar
Hi. you. sir" he roared: who the devil are
yol?'
The colonial arose and saluted. Captain j"
SIR he replied; I'D Vlctorians.
when did you arr!yeT' demanded the general
Yesterday. sir the reply.
why have you not reported yourself to me. sir?
demanded Tucker. adding rider condemnatory OF
his listeners visual organs.
The colonial grew angry. Il went to your office
you were in but saw two officers
who they
81 don't know their Names said the colonial
Describe them then" said the general
well" said the colonial desperately. for he had
no gift OF language. "onc ugly looking devil
with Il beasly temper
Good" Interrupted Tucker; that's my staff Of
ncer.'
And the other" continued the Australian. was
a silly ass OF a chap with an cyegiass."
hight you are. my boy said the satisfied gen.
eral; the idiots my aide-de-camp Sorry to have
troubled you"
Il fear. said the friend. that you take your
We'll" answered Senator Sorghum. II don't
know But 1t seems TO that nearly everybody
Seriously or any other way. SO long as they get
chance to take it."-CWashington Star.
Miss Dillwyn. OF Swansea. Wales, has IN turn
written novels, acted as reviewer for The London
Spectator served a farm bailir, and is now
the partner III a fourishing spelter business. She
walks three miles to business every morning. and
remains at her Office daily from shortly after in
the morning till in the evening. She is a MEM
Der of the school board and charwoman of the
has ar6a bp k
ness She is a lover Of the weed in the form of
cigars and makes no secret of her pleasure in
smoking She carries a cigar case and has even
been seen In public with cigar In her mouth 1
like to smoke she says. "and see no objection
to it. 1t suits me- although II may not suit others
| used TO be very fond OF green cigars. but you
can't get them in England. ! always smoke open
w. / do not believe in women smoking in secret
The proprietor of a German menageTie keeps
Gagged together % lion tiger Wo anb Wsa asrsa iae
confidentally how long these animals had hVed TO-
Zen months; but the lamb has had to be renewed
occasionally." Philadelphia Times
Once at big dinner which Cecil Rhodes gave at
Groote Schuur. where all the servants were men, a
charming woman came down In a teagown which
was dream" but which cut high up to the
wearer's diamond clasped throat. Cecil Rhodes.
who was orthodox his notions of dress, looked at
the teagown but said nothing. Next morning
however he sent his secretary TO the woman of
the high necked gown with this message: / IKE
my guests to dine in evening dress and not in
compromises, however charming.
One of the competitors for Sir Hiram Maxims
prize of f5O.O for successful flying machine has
sent description Of his invention to contem-
3e s my last t invention cam make
complete revolution even without the FLEEING wheel
To the crank shaft the cylinder the piston the
s sod 1s this nHse ba If
of every thing connected with the steam produc
ton" The description is persuasive; 1t has al
the of smplicty.-London Globe
Down on the other side of the Rio Grande"
saws a returned traveller you buy any kind
of beef but siroin for 20 cents ko-less than 10
cents a pound-and sirloin is only 25 cents kilo.
But the best cuts of Mexican beef are tougher than
rhinoceros hide When first went to Mexico or
dered a tenderloin at hotel in Durango but
couldn't cut it to save my neck / told the walter
1t wouldn't do, and he removed 1t. Presently, how
ever he returned. accompanied by the proprietor
of the hotel and laid the platter on the table
What's the matter with the steak? asked the
hotel man in Spanish. Tough said I; why. can
hardly stick fork into it-much less q knife
Mine host tapped it over with the fiat of the knife
and eyed It dubiously. I'm sorry he said. but it's
the best in the house. At any rate. can't take 1t
back-its bent
you have been with that firm long time, said
the old school friend -
Yes" answered the man with the patient ex-
preston of countenance
What's your position?
Put what is your official title?"
II haven't any official title It's like this: When
the proprietor wants something done. he tells the
cashier and the cashier tells the bookkeeper, and
the assistant bookkeeper tells the chief clerk and
the chief clerk tells me-.
And what them"
well I haven't anybody TO tell SO / have to go
and do it"-SWashington IT. StaIa