The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

ans mo" very often means yes" Tom
But she didn't say mo-" She said
nit"
You can't have your cake and eat it,
but you can eat your own cake and
swipe the other fellow's.-Ohio State
Journal.
The Man tentering the store)-Have
you typewriter ribbons? The Fresh
Girl (behind the counter)-Is she blonde
or brunette?
! Edith-You know that new horse
papa named after you? Well, he's
proved to be quite worthless, and papa
is going to shoot him.-Puck.
Church, never cross 2 bridge I'M
til come to 1t. Gotham-Well, II you
refer to the Brooklyn bridge. you have
a good deal of trouble even then.
Lucky He Hadn't-"Miss Muggles
has had $4,000 left to her by an uncle
who had never seen her" well, that
explains t."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Landiubber-How mad that
lighthouse keeper must be-he has
lighted that lamp dozen times since
have been watching, and it has gone
out every time-Life.
"By the way" reminded the curious
inquirer, whats synonymous ex-
preston for talking shop|" well"
replied Joakley, there's 'tonsorial EN-
porium,' and 'haircutting parlor. -
Philadelphia Press.
THAT Mr.. Squeezem had nothing but
praise for your sermon to-day" said
the minister's wife, after church. "Yes,
l noticed that when the plate was
passed around" said the pastor, sadly.
-YOnkers Statesman.
The Pug-I suppose since the bulldog
lost his teeth he doesn't bite any more?
The Poodle-Only Miss Maud's gentle
men callers. The Pug-,Why them? The
POodle-They are such soft young men.
Philadelphia Record
BOwman-My recital was a splendid
success. The audience was fired with
enthusiasm. Bridge-Mercy! Weren't
you afraid of conhagratiOn? There
was so much paper in the house you
know.-Boston Transcript.
"Why is it," said the self-conscious
young man who is to be married, that
all the world loves a lover?" Per
haps," answered the coarse and cyni-
cal person, lit is because pity is akin
to love."-Wasbingto Star.
How is it that you are so gallant in
the street cars nowadayss Formerly
you never arose to give lady your
seat" Yes; but now l am wearing
patent leather shoes, and If l sit every
one walks on them. Toledo Bee
Jack-Yes, ! had little balance ia
bank, but / became engaged two
months ago, and now Ned-Ahi
love makes the world go round. Jack
Yes, but | didn't think it would go
round so fast as to cause me to lose
my balance.-Philadelph Press.
Butler recently engaged by a newly
fedged milliOnaire)-At what hour
would you wish to dine, sir? Million
aire-At what hour do the best people
dine? Butler depressing a smile)-Oh,
Ilionaire-GoOd! Then / also will dine
at different times!
But" Kissed the heavy villain, sup
pose our plot should leak out" His
miserable accOmplice shivered at the
thought. But it can't" cried the low
comedian, emerging at that moment
from behind a stage tree, because
from now on the plot thickens, you
know Philadelphia Press.
Remarkably warm, isn't it?" said
the man who is always cropping for
something to say. No" answered the
person who is ill-natured in warm
weather; "this kind of weather has
occurred in every July l can remem-
her. 1t isn't in the least remarkable.
1t is merely disagreeable. "-Washing-
ton Star.
..Dearie," said Mrs. Loveydovey, ~
see in the paper that a man out west
has had his stomach removed. / won
der why? II suppose" said Mr..
Loveydovey, that his wife persists in
irving to cook all the new-fangled
things she reads about In the recipe
department of the Ladies' Home Week
ly."-Judge.
Waiter-Have a piece of pie, sir?
Pincher-No. thank you; / never eat
pie. 1t doesn't agree with me. Waiter
To every person who has eaten one
order we give pie without extra
charge. Pincher-COme to think 1t
over. you may bring me three pieces OF
pie, two of berry and one Of custard.-