Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1902-12-13
HER ROOSTER HAT.

Ing a couple OF months ago, these Au-
Ga9cn society people make me weary
Wqats the good Of a tropical bird if you
can't mase some use oil itz OF what other
use are taey except to be sewed onto
women's RATS, hey!"
w ell, replied Mrs. Jopson, Il sup
pose on sentimental grounds they"
Yes, that wat it all i~sJust sehti-
ment, maudlin sentiment" interrupted
Mr.. Jobson. Vow, look a-here: Isn't
It a waoie lot easier for a richly plunged
tropical Dirl 10 experience a quick and
humane deata -0nl a few properly placed
birdslot fires en- the gun Of an expers
h%untsnan, t6H TO suffer the huttering
and hopeless torture OF being devoured
by a relentless snake OF the jungle? Isn't
/. a neap better that a gorgeously feath-
cred bird oil the tropics should be saved
to adorn a woman's hat rather than flap
down in a tropical swamp or morass some
v here or other and die without ever being
any use to anybody? Look at the mil
lions and billions Of magnlncently decked
tropical birds that have their feathers
pulled out every year in the ~jungles by
predatory and crafty monkeys. Is there
any good in that sort of thing, I'd ike
TO know, and dye suppose it's any fun
for a handsome bird to be clawed all to
pieces by a mischievous anthropoid 2"
"N-no,' said Mrs. Jobson, "'but the
ground taken by the Audubon society,"
"Oh, yes; | know what ground they
take" cut in Mr.. Jobson, "and | know
what I'D happen, too, if people like the
Audubon society folks could have their
way about everything. We wouldn't
have any meat, for one thing. Ihey'd Try
20 make vegetarians OF the lot OF us by
claiming that il is cruel and outrageous
so slaughter any sort OF animals-better
let EN- die in their tracks ana be buried
with headstones over each OF EN-. We'd
never know the taste of an oyster or a
clam-the silly Billies I'D demand that
the mollusks be let alone and given a
chance to think it all over until they
croaked OF their own v~olition. From that
II nd be an easy step to the assertion
that no trees ought to be cut down for
lumber, since trees have life, haven't they?
Sove carrots and turnips and cabbages
and onions life, haven't they? And | sup
pose that after awhile they'd get US down
to a banana diet. | notice that some O.
these Audubon society women wear seal
skin coats, all right, and yet seals are
handled more brutally than any other kind
OF beast or bird whose pelts or feathers
are required by human beings-they're
SIMPLY dubbed to death. There are too
burned many Of these unwritten sumptu-
airy laws as it is. And if a women wants
to wear a great aux of the Andes on her
hat, why, let her wear it-that's all I've
got to say"
But, put in Mrs. Jobson, don't you
remember that when / wore that ~aigrette
IN my hair to the theater last winter you
complained so strenuously about it, and
SAID l ought to be ashamed to wear feath-
ers that are pulled from a live heron?"
Never made such an idiotic remark as
that IN my hfe,' said Mr.. Jobson, in his
usual it's-all-off tone. Fact is, it's been
a source OF secret grief with me for some
years past that you don't use more feath-
ers and birds and gear of that sort, like
other women. These top-pieces OF yours
that you spraddle over with a lot O.
mustylooklng autumn leaves and impossi-
bic grapes and peoples and truck like that
don't make any kind of a hit with me at
all. You've just dreamt that | ever made
any kick about birds or feathers. Just
you get whatever you want in the bird
or feather line, and let the Audubon soci-
ETY. like it or lump it. If you feel like
FASTING a Lake Michigan whitefsh or a
half dozen on the half shell on the top of
your bonnet you go ahead, and if anybody
interferes with you tell EN- to mind their
own business"
All of which Mrs. Jobson mad in mind
the other day when, as customary in such
cases made and provided, she invited four
of her closest friends to her
down town to help her pick out a hat.
While Mrs. Jobson isn't a member of the
Audubon society, she is in sympathy with
the aims of that admirable organization,
and she eignored-not, it must be con-
fessed, without exercising considerable
self-sacritlce-all of the hats in the MILL
merry shops bearing ornate birds and birds
wings on their crowns or sides. But when
she tried on one of the new-fangled hats
OF the autumn, with a full-sized bantam
rooster perched on one side of it, and Com
cluded that 1t became" her, she had no
scruples.
Mr.. Jobson was just going up the front
steps with his latchkey in his hand, when
Mrs. Jobson entered the gate and called
cheerily to him. When he turned ana
looked at her he pretended that ne mad to
clutch at the railing of the front steps
to keep from falling Gown, and he glared
hxedly at her hat for fully ninety secon.s
before he was able to say a word. Then
he gAsped;
"Wh-wh-where did you get that bug
zard?"
Holding down her discontinue as best
she could, Mrs. Jobson smiled and re.
piled:
Its the very latest thing, and"
--latest, eh?' broke in Mr.. Jobson.
"Iou bet it's late. It's pretty late in the
day for any woman by the name OF Job.
son to go hiking through the streets of
Washington with the whole carcass of a
bird Of prey stuck up on the top of the
head. And a carrion bird at that! Lemme
tell you something. In nearly every state
III the union that know anything about,
there's a heavy fine for killing buzzards.
because they're natuyal-born garbage Grad
icators, and for all l know there's such a
law in the District Of Columbia
"Why," began Mrs. Jobson, cts the
very latest idea in millinery, straight from
Paris, to have one OK le>e-er-rooster
IN ones hat, and It's only a little while