The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1902-04-16
a BATCH OF GOOD STORIES.
Some Things to Make One
Laugh and Grow Fat,

Some Things to Make One
Laugh and Grow Fat,
The Washington Post says that sew
eral Senators were in the cloak room
discussing their experiences in getting
rid of an Objectionable visitor. The
talk recalled al episode in the life of
the late Justice Field, of the Supreme
Court, whose temper WAS of the most
irascibie kind. He had gwen instruc-
tons to his servant on a certain morn
ing that he was not to be disturbed.
Presently there came a ring at the
door bell and al aggressive book agent
! appeared.
81 want to see Justice Field,n he
said.
"You cannot see him. was the re-
ply.
" must see him."
impossible"
The conversation grew more EN-.
phatlc, until finally the persistent book
agents demands echoed through the
house. AT that moment Justice
Field, who had been attracted by the
alteration, appeared at the head of
the stairs.
'i IN Salu, Ill II norCeIy
angry tone, "show the brazen, in
fernal scoundrel up to me; if you can
not handle HIM | will"
The book agent made no further ef-
fort to break into the Justice's pres
ence.
The London Mail correspondent
says a personality IN South Africa that
figures IN more stories than any
other soldier is General t, whose
vocabulary, extensive and peculiar, Is
the subject of many stories.
In the general advance towards Pre-
toria, n of the most polished of our
generals, seeing a solitary horseman
riding about under a heavy fire, sent
an orderly to tell "that fooln to get
under cover if he did not wish to he
shot. The orderly returned with the
Information that he had delivered his
message and that the officer had said
many weird things, among which was
the intelligence that he was Gen. Il.
The polite general was panied that
he had made the mistake and asked
the orderly whether Gen. L was much
offended. Much offended, STRIP
said Atkins gleefully; why he told
me to go-that is to say, sir, he said
you were-well, to tell you the truth,
sir, couldn't have said it better N.Y.
selfl'
The efforts On the part of members
OF the House TO pin n another down
to direct answers reminded Representa-
tive Capron, of Rhode Island, of an
experience in the last campaign. Mr..
Capron was very much bothered while
making a speech by a man in the au.
dience who insisted on asking aues-
tons to which he demanded either
Eyes" or (" nc I" for an answer.
But there are some questions,''
finally remarked Mr.. Capron, (which
cannot be answered by yes or sno.'n
I" should like to hear one,'' scorn-
fully commented his annoyer.
Z" WE'LL" said Mr.. CapYon, " / think
l can provo it. Have you quit beat
ing your wife? Answer syes' or sno.'n
The crowd saw at once that Mr.. Ca.
prom had the man in II trap. 1.-The had
Eyes" 1T was a confession that he
had been beatingI his wife, and if he
S'' IN ~ wac an dOlhlSSlOn DDaU
he was still indulging in the pastime.
Yes I" o + nc" shouted everybody
in the hall, and IN the midst ofthe con-
fusion the man made his escape
Washington Post.
The New York World says that
Gen. Fitzhugh Lee, who distinguished
himself in the Confederate service and
is now on the regular Amy retired
list as a b%rigadier general, recently
went on a visit to West Virginia.
W lille there he met an old comrade in
arms whose reception was somewhat
lrigid.
Well, what's the matter?n said
Gen. Lee.
ooh, nothing much," was the non
reply.
There is something wrong" per-
sisted the General. "Out with it'll
What do you want9"
After being sirenuously urged the