Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-11
THE DRUGGIST.
Why He Should Be Happy at
All Times
A Story Of His Daily Life and expe-
riences.
No Wonder Lots Of People Go Into the Drug
Business.

but we believe the drug business has
the call. The amount of gratuitous adj
vice that u druggist receives about
running his store is appalling, and it
Is worth just what it costs. First
thing in the morning after the store is
oEened mo matter how early in comes
the rate citizen and snorts: What's
the matter with you people? You
ought to have had this store open an
nour ago: have been waiting for you
to get here ever since O'Clock. And
then he uses the telephone. The next
customer is a fat middle-aged woman
who wants street car tickets and on
being told that the store does not keep
thcm says Indignantly We'll, you
ought 70. but then this is not a first
class store" Man comes in to buy a
ccar. Says why don't you have
your cigar case nearer the 'front.' The
druggist thinks that is q good idea.
perhaps. and moves it: then a woman
comes in 10 buy perfume and says,
Why do YOU have that nasty cigar
case right up in the front of the store:
YOU ought TO keep the perfumes there.
-snG the druggist signs. Man comes in
and asks for five cents worth of Epson
salt: the druggist gives him an ounce
as usual--could give him a pound just
Is well. but no one cares for more than
CROUCH for two or three doses - an
ounce goes. Then the customer stands
up on his hind legs and breaches Il SER
mon about druggists profits, because
he knows that salts" doesn't cost
over FIVE cents pound. The druggist
l., I, - lnnsnt fha n
hall that much. hut he holds his peace
and the five cents. The next man
that comes in wants five cents worth of
sulphur. He looks parsimonious and
the druggist profiting by his previous
experience decides to give him a pound
ir stead of an ounce. The customers
eyes grow bigger and bigger as the sui
phur continues TO pile up on the scale
par and finally he yells, Great
heavens. man, YOU must think | am
going to fumigate Il summer hotel.
You ought to know better than to give
Il man a ton Of the stuff just because
it's cheap. Thirsty citizen comes in
ara wants something for an awful
pain in his chest. He gets warm dose
Of ginger and capsicum. which is not
hat he is looking for and with many
maledictions he departs. telling the
druggist among things that he ought
| to 20 hang himself.
And another citizen who sees the old
| soak coming out of the store immedi-
ately suspects just what did no. hap
| pen and says to the druggist, You
ought to be prosecuted for running a
saloon" Druggist gets tired of selling
patent advertised cough syrups for
| 81 cents bottle when it costs 80 cents
| and decides to have his own put up and
see i. he can't keep the wolf from the
door a little better with it. He does so
and fills up his window. making a
handsome display. Then he goes in and
| picks up the local paper and reads the
| following. The druggist who tries to
sell you something of his own make
when you go into his store is horse
| thief. liar. a thug, 4 counterfeiter, a
l.ighwayman a pickpocket. a grave rob-
her. a forger, an embezzler. an escaped
convict and a red handed murderer be-
cause he is stealing away your health
by failing to recommend something
| any o:6 ,...nG-advertiSed in this pa
per-" And then the combined editor,
ttpoi ttI oOiiSAApA va Inv
sheet walks in with a bland smile and
tells the druggist he ought to take
double the advertising space now thai
the duh season is coming on and the
dry goods men are taking out their ad-
vertisements: that the Weekly HOwlei
is prepared to do job work as cheaply
and in far more artistic style than the
iChicago and New York druggists
printing houses-which, of course. thu
druggist believes as much ali he be
Ilieved the little reading notice.
These are just q few of the things
that make a druggists life one contin
uah round 0. pleasure. "ohe grand
Y sweet song" one sublime succession ~
jblissful heart throbs. No wonder sc
many people 20 into the drug business
IL ~
Yes. it is all bed Of roses. If q
druggist charges a fair price for hi:
goods the people say Re is robber; i
he sells cheap they say his goods are
worthless III he sells liquors for med
icinal purposes, they say he is running
a saloon; If he does not sell them at al
they say he is poor sort OF druggist
for not keeping stimulants on hand fol
emergencies II he keeps open on Sun
cay he is q heather: if he does not he
is an unebliging eur If he sells hh
own make of goods they say he is vii.
famous substitutor: if he does not the.
say he has not sense enough to make
his own medicines but HAS to handle
what people send him ready made. II
he aids local charity he is phariset
and is doing it to help his trade; if he
does not he is hog. II he goes tt
church he is hypocrite and II ne
stays away he is hardened sinner II
he closes his store early he is discom'
moding his patrons: if hecloses late he
is working his clerks to death. II ne
is NOT college man they say he docs
not know his business: if he is a college
man they say his head is swelled ant
he is no good on earth. If he provides
seats for his customers they say he en
courages loafing; if he does not. NJ
. does not care for his customers Com
fort II he prescribes over the cohntel
they say he is trying to knock opt tn,
I: doctors: if he does not they say he il
y in cahoots with the doctors and Gets !
, commission on the patients ht sends
! If he is married he whips hiSywife: !
\ ba ;S single they saw he ollallt to &c