davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-12-24

l.. b. Kerr & Co.. Queen St.. wish to
announce that they will be open for
business this evening.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-12-24

Notice-No session tom -r:r~. Dee.
20, Christmas Day.
The Press., 1902-12-11
AAAAAaAAAAA.AAAA.AAAAA.AAAAAAAAAA HIS READY MADE" OOON sTeE q ls
 By CHARLES MlsTfD | Copyri0ht, 1901, by aI 4. S. Richdrdson
rvYvvVvvuyvvvyvVYvvvVvvvVvl
COpvvf0ht, 1901, by
 A. s. RichGrdsola

Jerry was as smart 8 newspaper re- porter as ever went on the police de tail, but he was not liked by the other fellows. All track of Jerry would be lost for an hour or so but he would turn up smiling, and next morning the public would be treated to another freak stork in the Twister-a small
 scoop" as newspaper men call an ex- elusive item of news. Then we police reporters, one and all, would have to face our city editors that day and make some explanation. There were three of us who became tir,ed of this sort of thing and almost found ourselves shuddering at the very name of Jerry, because, as for me, the city editor had said point blank and
 without any frills on it that if the Daily Twister got 'beat' on me another berth.
 We were loafing around the detective department at police headquarters one night about Il 80 discussing Jerry. He had been around most of the day, and we knew he was taking in one of the theaters that night, so we had no fears. Say" said Currie of the Stellar, wonder if he would bite at the old gagY
 "Oh, the dickensw put in Briggs of the Mercury. He is too old in the business for that" Don't know about that" I ven- tured. 'I have seen some pretty old birds fall into that same trap. He is at the show. and after seeing the girl home he'll be late, and if we get away early he'll naturally be anxious. do you see?''
 Well, let her gov' said Briggs.
 "Whats it to be?"
 Must be a mystery" put in Currie. pulled a wad of copy paper out of my pocket and began to write.
 "What is it, Scotty?" asked Briggs.
 Suicide on the water front" I num-
 bled as wrote on. "WhereY asked Currie.
 "Oh, just on the water front. Give | him the whole water front to work | on."
 By this time I had written three
 sheets, put the first two in my pocket. | and, numbering the third "19," crum- pied 1t up and threw it on the floor \ beside my seat, where it could easily be seen.
 What number did you have on the last sheet, Scotty?' asked Currie.
 "Nineteen," I replied.
 "How does it read?'
 "Begins in the middle of sentence and breaks at another. giving partial description of suit of clothes found on a dock"
 Good boy! I'll begin on page g.
 Listen to this as I write." and Currie scribbled on, at the same time repeat
The Press., 1902-12-11
Why Pyramid. Were Built.

The interest of the Delhi and Bena- res observatories lies for us in the fact that they recall a time far in the past when astronomers sought for exact ness by the erection of huge structures of stone. Of these the great pyramid is by far the greatest and most perfect example. Britain has it's own mOnu- ment - Stonehenge which has been claimed as, if not indeed, an astronom- ical observatory, at least an astronOm- ical temple, and many attempts have been made to determine the date at which 1t was erected. The difficulty, not to say the impossibility, of solving this problem in the present state of the monument may be inferred from the fact that the dates which different careful observers have deduced for its erection extend over a period of more than 2,OOO years, says a writer in Knowledge.
 The real work of astronomy was never done in edifices like those. Nor indeed does it require much knowledge of human nature, essentially the same 5000 years ago as today, to see that the true secret of the pyramid, the am- ply sufficient cause for it's building, was the vanity of the ruling pharaoh. Alike at Delhi, at Gizeh and on Sails bury plain, as by the Euphrates, to make a name" was the exciting mo- tive. Astronomers may have been em- ployed to superintend the work, astron- omy, or the cult of the celestial bodies, may have been the excuse, but the real object was advertisement.
The Press., 1902-12-11
Grip
Shattered My Nerv.
 ous System.
Stomach Deran nged,
 Liver Dormant.
Dr. Miles Norvine Cured
 Me Completely.

A slight cold in the winter with fever, head ache, backache; when the nose runs and the eyes water and a soreness seems to permeate the marrow of the bones; this is the begin ming of Grips. deadly grasp. The danger follows in the shattered nervous system and the Arrangement of the heart or the digestive organs as in the following case:
 "The last week in January l contracted LaGrippe and was confined to my bed for five weeks. My nervous system was conn pletely shattered, stomach badly deranged and liver in an almost dormant condition. l took treatment daily from my family phy- sician, but could get no relief. My condition continued to grow worse and as had often heard of Dr. Miles medicines decided to try them. purchased a bottle of Dr. Miles Restorative Nervine and Nerve and Liver Pills. When began taking the medicine had no appetite, couldn't sleep and was scarcely able to get around. My weight at this time was one hundred and twenty-four pounds. At the end of the second week was changed man, my appetite was beyond conti ol, my sleep was refreshing, my strength renewed and my weight was one hundred and forty two pounds. l never felt better in my life than l do at this writing. take great pleasure in recommending Dr. Miles Remedies to the afflicted. If anyone doubts the above statement 1 am ready to confirm it"-D. C. WALKER, U. S. Treasury Dept. Washington, D. C.
 All druggists sell and guarantee first bot tie Dr. Miles Remedies. Send for free book on Nervous and Heart Diseases. Address Dr. Miles Medical Co.,, Elkhart, Ind.
The Press., 1902-12-11


 ing: "Also a soft felt hat. What drove the poor fellow to such a horrible method of ending his life is hard to conceive. Spots of blood were discov- ered'- .- ''Stop there," said Briggs. Give me a show" and he began: Page No. 40 O- But the police authorities both in that division and at headquar- ters claim they know nothing of the mystery, which leads to the belief that And here Briggs crumpled up rie had left his page on the desk just as he had written it beside a few other blank sheets.
 We left the room. walked over to the Hub. loafed round bit and then phoned No. station.
 Currie was at the machine and called:
 Hello. sergeant. Has Jerry of the Twister been over therey' Currie waited q few seconds, then roared with laughter. Never mind. ser you over Key West cigar Yes. two of them. Very good! By by!"
 sCurrie joined us in the small room laughing heartily. "The sergeant says Jerry must have been drinking. The fool says the sergeant. thinks there is some mysterious suicide on the water front, and called me liar when l told him there wasn't"
 We enjoyed this. for we knew Ser nt 0'(1Opnnp's tornnop
 "Then when I laughed" continued Currie, ''he tumbled. Let's go overv'
 Briggs bought the cigars. and in we trooped to headquarters. The ser geant was smiling and pointed to one of the station men, who was hopping up big splash on the floor.
 What's the matterY' l asked.
 "That fool Jerry called me 6 liar, and, as I couldn't get at him quick enough. threw the mucilage pot"
 This was rich, and again we had a good laugh, and handed over the cigars. There was nothing new at the station, so we all reported at our re- spective offices, and each told his city editor the yarn, which was much en. joyed.
 Next morning Curtis, our city edi- tor, called me in, and he laughingly held up copy of the Twister.
 You fellows allowed that joke to go too far. Scotty," he said. '"This will cost Jerry his job, I am afraid. He has got yarn here column and half long, and 1t makes good reading too. He even names his victim"
 l laughed. The joke had gone splendidly.
 sAIr. Scott" said the office boy, some one wants yea ut the phone" | wens.
The Press., 1902-12-11
SOME WRITERS.

Bret Harte was a good deal of a re- eluse, in that respect resembling Flaw thorne more thanf any other man of letters.
 Baxter it is said. kept the manu- script of the Saints Everlasting Rest" in his hands for thirteen years, revis- ing and condensing.
 Cooper is said to have written "The Spy'' in less than six months. Most of his stories were founded on legends we'll known in his neighborhood.
 Longfellow turned out about one volume of poems year for many years. Nearly four years were required for his translation of Dante"
 The first volume of poems by Alfred Tennyson came out when he was twen- ty-four. He was forty-one when "In Memoriam" came from the press.
 Thomas Moore often wrote short poem almost impromptu. He consumed over two years in reading and prepar- ing material for "Lalla Rookh" and two years more in writing that mimi table poem.
The Press., 1902-12-11

Hello! Briggs. that you? Did you see the Twister? Ha, ha! What? Cur rie? Is he? Going to leave town. Why, yes; I'll be putin jiffy. At the Hub? All right"
 What was up now at the Stellar office? Currie, the last of all men. I reached the Hub, made at once for the small room, and there sat Currie alone smoking cigar. and three cocktails ready for immediate consumption were on the table in front of him.
 "What's the row, old man? Where's Briggs?" I asked in one breath.
 Here's Briggs now," replied Currie, as the door opened. "Now sit down, fellows. Drink up, and, Briggs, you press the button for another. We'n need it."
 ''Buz-z-z" went the bell. All was si- lence.
 -scooped-again," said Cur rife slowly, with great emphasis on the again." "and it's up to George Currie of the Stellar, Fred Briggs of the Mer- cury and Bill Scott of the Bounder to pass in their chips"
 The waiter entered at this stage.
 Don't know what you are driving at, Currie," said Briggs, and, turning to the waiter, continued, "but we'll have to have another drink anyway. Same all round"
 Look here,'' said Currie, "T have seen my city editor, have been at po- lice headquarters and at the morgue. and have seen Jerry and that one and a half column yarn of his in the Twist CT is bona fide story. The suicide hap pened across the bay on the island, and no one would have located it until to- day, and we would have been all right, every one of us, but for that joke of ours last night. It made Jerry search the water front until 1 o'clock this morning, and then when he could find nothing he hired boat, rowed to the island, and I'll be hanged if the story was not there waiting on him."
 Briggs said something I hate to re peat, only it sounded most appropriate for the occasion. We wrote three notes to three city editors, pooled our finances. and next day three bright newspaper men were looking for job down the coast.
The Press., 1902-12-11
One Brick Short.

Richard M. Hunt, the architect, used to relate that in his younger days, while supervising the erection of a brick building, recent arrival from Cork applied for a job and was em- ployed as a hodcarrier after being in- structed that he must always carry up fourteen bricks in his bod. One morn ing the supply of bricks ran out. and, do his best, the new man could find but thirteen to put i'll his bod. In an swer to loud yell from the street one of the masons on the sixth story shrieked down:
 "What do you want!"
 "T'row me down wan brick" said Pat, pointing to his bod, ito make me number goodv'-New York Times.
The Press., 1902-12-11
Old Polo.

In "rhe Arabian Nights's we read 0t a wise sage who cured great king by decoction with which he anointed the handle of stick with which the king was in the habit of playing game al ball, to the end that when the royal hand perspired in the vigor of the play the open pores might receive the med. icament.
 The translator speaks of this stick as "golf stick" (sic). but it is plain from on horseback. It was. in fact. polo Indeed the illustration of the very same edition show the said king play ing the game on horseback.
The Press., 1902-12-11
DOWN IN A SALT MINE.
An Occasion When One's Dignft,
 Must Be Set Aside.

An Occasion When Ome's Dignity
 Must Be Set Aside.
 It is only the elect among travellers who find their way to Berchtesgaden, in Bavaria. not very far from Salz- burg, writes correspondent of the London Tatler. If you drive in car riage from thence by road, you are stopped midway at customs house and find yourself leaving Austrian ter rit0ry for Bavarian. Berchtesgaden is beautifully situated, and it has two noteworthy attractions, one of them the Konigsee, thought by many the most beautiful lake in the world, and the other the salt mines. A visit to the salt mines gives one an exciting hour.
 Many tourists take tickets at the top, but many of the fair sex are deterred from using them when they see the costume that is rendered essential to the visit. In other words, they have to abandon skirts and adopt a special ''rig out" One may frequently observe that ladies, torn between what they consider modesty and curiosity, go two or three times to the mines before they screw up their courage sufficiently to don the attire and pay the visit.
 The necessity for women to abandon the usual garment arises from the fact that portion of the. mine can only be visited through the medium of a kind of slide. This slide is, however. the best thing in the whole visit. 1t is a great deal better than tobogganing. and, as one is in the dark and with only a candle fastened to one's dress. it is not little exciting.
 The strangest incident in the trip Is that of the illumination of what is called "the salt lake" You are rowed across this lake in almost absolute darkness, the illumination being pro- vided by number of miners lamps round the lake, and the journey has a very considerable weirdness. The next best experience in the trip is the final ride into daylight on the trucks. This Is a journey through absolute darkness for d very considerable way until final ly one sees little .gleam of light in the distance. Altogether, as l have said, between the toboggan slide, the car ride and the boat journey across the salt lake the visitor to the Berch- tesgaden salt mine has plenty for his money. But, curiously enough, he sees very little sal. At any rate, the pre- pared salt that one uses on ones break fast table is not at all in evidence.
The Press., 1902-12-11
What the Fingers Tell.

As far as the fingers are concerned palmists divide hands into three class eg.
 First come those with long, slender and tapering fingers. A person with such fingers has an innate love of art poetry and music and probably also for literature.
 In the second class the fingers are shorter, nearly equal in length and with blunt tips. They show practical mind of a rather commonplace order, thorough and reliable rather than bril-, liant. A woman with fingers of this description would make a good house keeper, while a man similarly provided would be cautious and thorough in business. <
 In the third section come hands with short, thick and square looking fingers, with short, wide nails cushioned at the sides. The owner of such fingers is probably strong and active, with a hearty appreciation of the good things of this life and keen eye to his own interest. He is seldom hampered in his undertakings by difHdence and rarely errs in thinking too much of the feel ings and interests of others.
The Press., 1902-12-11
Ewgw.

An English traveller who has visited every nation in the world is authority for the statement that one food is uni versal throughout all countries. "There is not a part of the world," he says, where you cannot get an egg" While fin western China. however. he at first had some difficulty in getting even eggs. The natives could not understand him and refused to recognize the pic lures he drew as pictures of eggs. "The way l got out of the difficulty" he adds. was that l sQuatted down on my launches. Tapped my wings and cock O -doodle-dood until the entire na- tion grasped what wanted, and was simply provided with hundreds of eggs"
The Press., 1902-12-11

Rev. John Reid. Jr. of Great Falls Mont., recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. can emphasize his statement "It Is 8 positive cure for catarrh if used as dii ected. ."-Iiev. Francis w. Poole Pastor Central Pres. Church, Helena Mont.
 After using Ely's Cream Balm six weeks I believe myself cured of catarrh.-Jos. eph Stewart, Grand Ave, Buffalo, N. Y.
 The Balm does not irritate or cause sneezing. Sold by druggists at 50c or mailed by Ely Brothers, 56 Warren St., New York. Il
The Press., 1902-12-11

A CoLD WAvE.-The forecast of sudden changes in the weather serves notice that 8 hoarse voice and a heavy cough may invade the sanctity of health in your own home. Cautious people have bottle of One Minute Cough Cure always at hand.
 E. Fl. Wise, Madison, Ga., writes; I am indebted to One Minute Cough Cure for my present good health, and probably my life. It cures Coughs, Colds, La grippe, Bronchitis, Pneumonia and Lung troubles. One Minute Cough Cure cuts
 the phlegm, draws out the inflammation, heals and soothes the mucous membranes and strengthens the lungs. w. D. Heald.
The Press., 1902-12-11

WHAT'S IN A NAME?-Everything Is in the name when 1t comes to Witch Hazel Salve E. c. Dewitt & Go. of Chicago, discovered, some years ago, how to mak e salve from Witch Hazel that is apeeif- ic for Piles. For Blind, itching, and protruding Piles, eczema, cuts, burns, bruises and all skin diseases DeWitt's Salve has no equal. This has given rise to numerous worthless counterfeits Ask for DeWitt's-the genuine. w. D. Heald
The Press., 1902-12-11
Jack Tar as q Critic.

At an auction art sale the other day a marine view was about to be knocked down at a handsome figure when a bluff sailor, who had happened to wan der in, exclaimed earnestly:
 My stars, if there ain't a vessel drifting on to the rocks with strong breeze blowing offshore"
 The artist took his work home to re arrange the wind.
The Press., 1902-12-11
Po..ibt1atie. of the reet.

If instead of the cramping imprison- ment of boots and shoes the foot from infancy were allowed free and nat ural development. it may be questioned whether under such conditions it might not be rendered capable of performing other functions besides those of loco motion and sustaining the weight of the body. Certain at least it is that some unlucky mortals born without arms have managed to use a knife. fork. spoon. pen. paintbrush and even . violin bow.-Pall Mall Gazette.
The Press., 1902-12-11
No one Made Q Motion.

"Kin any one make motion" asked one of the audience. Gents" said Alkali Bill, chairman of the meeting, as he laid his revolvers on the ta5is, ''owin' to the general custom of wear in' weapons in these parts l trust no one will make a motion. .@Philadel phia Record.
The Press., 1902-12-11
She Was Surnrised.

Mrs. Neighbors-Whats that awful racket in the next room?
 Mrs. Rounder-Oh, that's only my husband dressing to go downtown.
 Mrs. Neighbors-Indeed! I've heard folk say he was a loud dresser, but had no idea it was anything like that Chicago News
The Press., 1902-12-11

SnamO0El81u'B SCOm8Ch anu A<AV0E 1bOAOGb Try them
 When you feel dull after eating.
 When you have no appetite. When you have bad taste in the mouth. Whln your liver is torpid. When your bowels are constipated. When you have headache.
 When you feel bilious.
 They will improve your appetite, cleanse and invigorate your stomach and regulate your liver and bowels.
 For sale by E. K. Taft, H. F. Cady, Stafford; Gardiner Hall, IT,, & Co.,, South Wilmington. Accounted For.
 Dime Museum Manager What Is that peculiar smell?
 The Living Skeleton - The rubber skin burned his finger lighting a ciga- rette. Judge
 IT you feel i'll and need pill
 Why not purchase the best :?
 DeWitt's Early Risers
 Are little surprisers;
 Take One-they do the rest. w. H. Howell, Houston, Tex. writes r. have used little Larly Riser Pills in my family for constipation, sick headache, etc. To their use am indebted for the health of my family. w. D. Heald.
The Press., 1902-12-11

Thermometer last Tuesday morning 10 degrees below zero.
 The Press is this week enlarged from a six to seven column paper.
 The mill at Staffordville will start up on Monday, and will run at least long enough to work up stock on hand.
 Torrent Engine company will hold its second annual ball next Thursday even- ing. The company is about furnishing its engine house, and hope to realize from this ball nice addition to the fund they already have for that purpose.
 The school in district No. 9 will con- mence next Monday. There will be three departments this term-primary under charge of Mics Cady; intermediate, taught by Mise Anna Smith of Monson l; and grammar by Miss Lay. The prima- ry and grammar departments will be in the school house, and for the intermedi- ate, 6 room has been taken in MT. Towne's building on East Main street, formerly occupied as shoe factory.
The Press., 1902-12-11
KoDoL DYspEps1A Cure digests }

KoDoL DYSPEPSIA Cure digests all classes of food. tones ard strengthens inc stomach and digestive organs. Cures Dyspepsia. Indigestion, Stomach troubles, strength, Kodol rebuilds wornout tissues, purifies. strengthens and sweetens the stomach. Gov. c " Atkinson, of w. Va.. savs: have used number of bot ties of Kodol and have found 1t to. be very effective and, indeed. powerful remedy for stomach ailments. | recommend if to my friends. W. ID. Heald.s
The Press., 1902-12-11
A Deceitful Cat.

Mamma-You wicked little girl to say that the poor cat has eaten the jam, when l can see the stain of it on your face!
 Winnie-So 1t was pussy! She stole the jam. and after she'd eaten it she started licking my face to make people think I'd done it.
The Press., 1902-12-11
A Mean Defense.

Magistrate very disgraceful that you should beat your wife.
 Prisoner-Well, yer honor, she az grawated me by keepin' on sayin' she'd lave me hup afore that bald'eaded hold 'umbug, meanin' yer honor.
 Magistrate-You're discharged.
The Press., 1902-12-11
A Comparison.

How'd ye like the lecturer at the town hall last night. Siy''
 Great! He was Boston feller, an, swan. never laughed so hard in my life. He knew more long words than a negro minstrel VI Baltimore American.
The Press., 1902-12-11
The Livelier tn. Better.

Young Man Gin grocer'sI-Pound of cheese. please.
 Grocer-Yes sir. Gorgonzola or ched dar?
 Young Man-Oh, l don't care. Start 'em both across the counter. and IN take the winner
The Press., 1902-12-11
He K new Her.

She-Reggie, dear. there Is something of the old time love light in your eyes tonight-something about you that re- minds me of those sweet days of long ago. I hope you have He-Yes. have little left How much do you want this timeP
The Press., 1902-12-11
lFrom the Gazette, Toowoomba. Australia ]
 

A Good Cough Medicine.
 find Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is an excellent medicine. have been suffer. ing from a severe cough for the last two months, and 1t has effected 8 cure. have great pleasure in recommending 1t. W. o. WooKNER.' This is the opinion of one of our oldest and most respected residents, and has been voluntarily given in good faith that others may try 7he remedy and be benefited, as was MT. Wockner.
 For sale by E. K. Taft, H. F. Cady, Stafford; Gardiner Hall, Jr., < Co.,, South Wlllington.
The Press., 1902-12-11
Wanted A Lower Key.

Spatts-My love, l wish you would alter the key of your voice.
 Mrs Spatts-What's the matter with it?
 Spatts-Oh. nothing; only from the expression of Eliza Jane's face after our recent argument Pm certain 1t fits every keyhole in the house.
The Press., 1902-12-11
The Great Que.tion.

"We are to be made one." she sug- gested.
 "Yes." he replied.
 But which oney' she asked
 And in the attempt to settle that question another promising matrimo- nial future was spoiled. for woman is not so unassuming in these days as she was once upon time.-Chicago Post.
The Press., 1902-12-11

We ought to avoid the friendship of the bad and the enmity Of the good EDictetus.
The Press., 1902-12-11
BIRTHS.

Willington, Nov. 80:h, 1879, son to James M. Still.
 Stafford Springs, Dc. 9th, 8 daughter to George Beard. West Willington, Dec. 11th, son to c. F. Macfarlane.