The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-02-18
JOBSON's ECONOMY.


Mrs. Jobson the other night, as he came
upstairs from the furnace-room, with a
stern countenance, 'will you just drop
that piece of ochre-hued literature you are
reading long enough to step downstairs
with me for half a moment? [ have some
thing L desire to show you'
Mrs. Jobson put down the book-which,
by the way, far from being ocher-hued,
was no less a classic than VANITY Fair
and followed Mr.. Jobson down the cellar
steps.
This" said Mr.. Jobson, sepulchraily,
pointing to pile of pretty well-burnt-out
looking ashes that the servant had re-
moved from the furnace during the pre-
vious couple of weeks, "this is the sin
| full, the shameful, the scandalous sight
which | desire to show to you. In that
| pile there are at the very smallest cumpu-
| tation two long tons of combustible fuel.
1t looks to me as if unburnt furnace coal
had been deliberately chucked by the
bucketful onto that pile out of mere
wantonness. And yet tomorrow or the
next day you will be hauling some black
| man off the street and paying him four
or five dollars to clean out this cellar and
he will take this Sl2 or SIS worth of good
fuel out and sift it, and, as likely as not,
sell it along the alley on which he resides
| Tor considerable sum of money!.
Those ashes don't look very rich in fuel
to me- remarked Mrs. Jobson, taking a
poker and poking at the pile. This fur
mace is an economical burner, you know,
and
Economical burner, hey?" broke in Mr..
Jobson, ironically. "This furnace, mad
am, has been making gigantic effort
Tor the past five or six years to send me
to the poorhouse at the rate of a mile a
minute. Economical burner? If | can't
spend half day in sitting those ashes
protitably enough to win out of the pile
enough coal to be worth good suit of
clothes I'll eat them I'm going to spend
that half day in such employment, if for
no other reason than to convince you that
You are directly responsible for the pow
erty which is swiftly overtaking me at a
time OF life when | am entitled to be re-
leased from such a strain"
81 know of a colored boy who has his
own sitter who would perhaps be willing
to do this sitting work for ten or Is cents, "
said Mrs. Jobson. ''That would save you
the unpleasant work."
Tin not afraid of unpleasant work
when there is a principle at stake, "
haughtily answered Mr.. Jobson. eff this
colored boy you so glibly talk of We're
| permitted to undertake the job you'd prob
ably bride him to carry the fuel product
of that pile of ashes out of the cellar for
no other purpose than to fool me up as
to the amount of first-rate combustible
material it contains. I'll buy sitter to-
morrow morning right after breakfast and
go at that job, and if / don't get enough
unburnt coal out of that mass to keep
this house warm for almost the rest of the
winter therell be something queer about
it, that's all
Mr.. Jobson did return home with big
ash sitter about half an hour after his de-
parture on the following morning, and,
ostentatiously dik:ng himself out in his
working suit, he went below to the cellar
to seperate two long tons of unburnt black
diamonds from about half ton of pow
derry ashes.
He dumped the apples out of the newly
bought barrel so as to use it as recep
tacle for the ashes and went to work
with his nice, new, long-handled sitter. A
few grayish clinkers We're all that re-
manned in the bottom of the sitter after
the first try-out.
That's only the surface stuff
haven't got into the pay ore yet" growled
Mr.. Jobson to himself as he solemnly
dumped the sfter-saved "combustible fuel
into a corner of the cellar, and he loaded
the sitter up once more. He so overload
ed the sitter that when he lifted it up
to resume operations over the barrel the
handle broke off close to the body of the
contraption, and the ashes fell all ovel
his legs and feet and the dust started him
Oft on such tit of coughing that he had
to rush for the cellar sink for a drink OF
water to clear his throat
| He sat down in the dark cellar for a
slight rest, and then he grasped the sides
of the sitter after having laboriously and
pantingly loaded it up again, and started
to work the thing that way. He hadn't
been at the system more than two
minutes before he began to feel the bis
tiers rising on his palms. He probably
would not have minded the blisters SC
much had he been able to see that he
was accomplishing anything and making
good on his prediction to Mrs Jobson that
when he got through sitting the cellar
would be piled up with redeemed coal
The ashes dropped through the sitter as
If they We're so much water, and when Mr.
Jobson saw how things were going with
his scheme he began to glare around vi
ciously. He worked at his self-appointed
task for more than two hours, and when
he had finished he hadn't accomplished
a cleanup of more than good-sized scut
tie full of coal.
He was seated on box, gnawing his
nails, and gloomily surveying the situa
ton, with the dust caked half an inch
thick on his brow, when Mrs. Jobson in
cautiously descended the cellar steps.
Her gaze quite passed over the tiny pile
of clinkers in the corner of the cellar that
Mr.. Jobson had chosen for his great show
ing, and she glanced all around wonder
ingly and curiously.
"Oh,' she remarked, 81 thought you had
begun. You haven't started yet, them"
For reply Mr. Jobson got up from his
seat on the box, took a Ratchet and de
liberately chopped the sitter into bits
hurting the remains of it into the fur
mace.
Yes, madam" he replied, in tone that
was designed to carry vast amount of in
tensity, Il have started, but you got the
start of me. Don't presume to tell me