West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-01-23
OUR NEW SAFE
And The Various SurmiSes as 60 What
IL Is For.

the arrival of large and handsame
new safe for The Argus Printing
House, and various surmises and
conjectures were offered as to the
use 10 be made of it. No one
could imagine what country edi-
tor wanted with a safe, specially
such good one. 1t is from the
Carey Safe Company of Buffalo,
New York, aud is a late pattern and
right up TO date. This company
probably sell more safes than any
other company in the world, and
have been placing great many in
this section OF late years. The one
just added 10 the outfit of this office
is four feet high, three feet wide and
about = feet deep, weighing 23oo
lbs. Is absolutely fire proof and
almost burglar proof excepet for
experts, who could probably get
into it, if they had time enough. 1t
has two sets Of double doors and
single door also, before you get
into the innermost recesses of it.
There is room for two OF three sets
of large books and plenty of papers,
and it is something we have needed
for good while, as our delinquent
list has grown so large and we are
getting surrounded by SO many
frame buildings, as to make it a
regular fire-trap, and insurance very
costly. Then we have had two or
three little fire scarces of late and
gotten off very lucky so far. But
most people have the idea that
safe is merely 10 keep money, hence
the wonder and amazement at one
going into a country newspaper
Office. The safe was at the depot
two or three days before we got it
over and the drummers and travel
ing public wondered what Coal or
Trust Company it was for and some
one started the report that M.
Guffey was going to open out an
office here for the Cheat River Rail-
road and his coal land business in
this county.
1 Than annfhar 70,
the effect that the Democrats were
preparing to handle lots of cam
paign Doodle this year and the safe
was being procured by the chair
man of the committee for that pur-
pose, and already several weak
kneed Democrats are bracing up,
and the president of the Nation"
has moved over close to town in
order to get into the swim.
The most interesting surmise of
all is a sentimental one and must have
been started by some of the women,
as it was to the effect that we are
fixing to get married and got the
safe TO lock our love letters in to
keep our "better half 10 be" from
getting hold of them and making
trouble for us as long as we live.
This is about the best reason yet
advanced, as we have a twenty
years accumulation Of letters in all
styles Of feminine chirography and
written on various shades of paper,
that we couldn't have the heart to
burn and wouldn't dare to keep in
the house with another woman and
it may be good thing that our safe
has a double-door, four combina-
ton lock on it, in the event of such
a contingency.
In the meantime, however, we
keep nothing more valuable than a
long list of delinquent subscriptions
and over due accounts in the safe
and we hope if any misguided burg
lar does get into our office some dark
night without knowing where he is
at and has curiosity to examine
the contents of the fat and prosper
Gus looking safe that makes such a
brave showing, that he will politely
open the door without blowing it
up. We shall paste the combina-
ton on the outside where it can be
plainly seen, and in order to make
it easy for anyone to open it should
we happen to forget and lock it, we
hereby give the combination First,
turn the dial due East at the rate
Of 100 revolutions a second tiil the
number 4-f1-44 comes around from
six 20 a half dozen times. Then
turn West very slowly repeating the
ten commandments, forward and
back, 900 the number indicating your
age at nearest birthday. passes The
star,iag point several or more times.
Then torn the dial 20 the left with
your right hand 1l you count Iof
and theu 90 the right With your left
hand uuGl you repeat the Lords
Prayer Then take hold with both
hands, shut your eye. and ma G
long pull a strong pull and q pull