Mower County transcript., 1902-10-01
IN CONVENIENT OWE n VEHICLE. ! III |!
copyright 1902, by the So ss.zSMcC Clure


The young doctor took the sick mans
Temperature scanned his tongue, felt
his pulse and lifted the eyelids to scru-
tinize the optics. After few seconds
Of profound meditation-or was it hesi-
,,tationl he prescribed for his patient in
/ blindly scraWled Latin, adding in Eng
| fish the direction, '"To be taken twice
T q day IN any convenient vehicle.''':. :,
.'Be; there; any show fer me to git
we'll, doctor?" quavered the sick man.
''Sure. there is, Mr.. Simmons. You'll
be all right now in no time. These pills
will set you up at once" =
Then the sapient young disciple OF
Esculapius drew on his gloves and
gave reassuring grasp to Ben Sim
mons' outstretched hand. With an en-
couraging smile all round upon the
staring little Simmonses and the pallid
wife, over whose face CLEAN of hope
seemed to flicker, he departed tearing
down the road at breakneck speed
as if bound for dying patient.
''Hanged if 1 know what ails the old
chap" he mused as he gallOped along.
-'How is a doctor going to prescribe
for an idiot who can't give a clearer ac-
count of his feelings than a dull, heavy
misery in his bonesy"
But Ben Simmons mended from the
hour that DR.. Bledsoe took charge of
his case. Strength and courage and
health seemed rolled up in those won
derful pills, the fame of which spread
through the backwoods Missouri town.
The Doctors visits soon ceased at the
Simmons cabin, for Bob Simmons after
long months of diseased liver, indis-
criminate; patent medicine taking and
confinement within the four walls of a
bedroom into which the breezes of
heaven were never permitted to enter
had come forth we'll man. To the
DOCTOR be ii confessed, Bobs conva-
lescence was as great a wonder as to
the community at large, though Of this
he kept silence
One evening DR.. Bledsoe was waiting
for his mail at the little postofice seat
ed in an inconspicuous place behind a
newspaper which he had spread out
before him. Suddenly his attention
was reused by herring his own name
spoken. The tone he recognized as the
drawing one of Mrs. Ben Simmons.
Eyes; Ben were in powerful bad
way when Dr. Bledsoe TUX hold Of
him. We flowed he couldn't git we'll.
His liver were all out O. whack, an he
were that thin it looked like it wouldn't
be long fore his hide'd be on the fence
::You don't say!'. calculated her inter
locutor. Al
His, naryous system were: all gone.
an his blood were turned to water an
his mind Were 'fected, an he were
threatened with the tarrifed fever,
an'"-
:"What did the doctor dew fer him!
Dew tell!'' t.
"Jes' some little teenty pills, Mr..
Slivens, not big as a pea. But the way
they he'd to be tux was the quarest
He writ it out to be taken in any con
venient vehicle.' We didn't. hev no
idee of the meanin' Of that word, SO we
borr'ed the schoolmarsters dictionary
an, sir, we foun' out at vehicle meant
coach, wagon, cart, carriage. Well,
sir, eff we didn't jes bun'le up Bob an
take him out twice a day in the ole
buggy out inter the country to give
him them pills. In less'n a week he
were mendip fines an in ]ess'n a
month he weres plum WELL"
f."Waai, l dew declare! It's wonner-
ful!' interpolated Mr.. Slivens.
t'Oh, I tell you, DR.. Bledsoe's stem
winder, he is, fer doctor, Mr.. Slivens
Them pills has cured half the people
in Simmons Landin'. Eff folks didn't
hev no buggy, they'd wheel their sick
uns out in wheelbarrers to take the
pills, an sures you're bawn they
didn't none Of 'em die. You see, the
schoolmarster said the wheelbarrer
were vehicle though in course it
warn't ekal to up an down buggy"
"I reckin the doctors fortin are
made in. Simmons Landin' count Of
them pills." asseverated Mr.. slivens. -
AS DR.. Bledsoe rode home that even
ing he indulged in loud outlaws, inter-
spersed with frequent CALCULATIONS Of
'Tll be dogged" and emphasized with
slaps on his horses neck. :;
Now the extensive practice which he
had achieved in the three months time
he had been in Simmons Landing was
explained, as was Bob Simmons mi
raculous cure. - 49,.
A girl down east received letter in
which her lover announced his unparal-
>leled success in his new field Of prac-
tice owing to his fortunate cure of his
first patient, though he did not state by
what convenient vehicle" it was done.
1T is said that a doctor doesn't make.
his bread until he has lost his teeth"
he wrote, "but, darling. am making a
fine living already at my profession.
Moreover, III have got hold of some
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