davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Landlady (who has been looking for the
boarder's umbrella): I'm satisfied, Mr..
Blake, tina it has been stolen"
The Boardev: You may be satisfied. Mrs.
flasher, but Iii be blowed il l am."-Glas-
gov Evening Times.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Johnnie: Paw. did you ever hear Nv the
missin' link"
Father (absently): you mean the miss
ing ball. No. and that makes the hfteenth
I've lost this season."-Bcston Post
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Kittie: 'Really. I did not know what to
think when Fred proposed TO me last even
ing. Why. he hadn't known me more than
n week" Ellie: Perhaps that was the
reason, dear."-Boston Transcript.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

1T beats ALL" said the American.
'how--"
Still harping on the beet" said the dis
gusted Cuban, as he turned away, and. sick
at heart. wondered when Cuba libre would
begin to libe.-Chicago Record-Herald,
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

do you believe in love at first sight?'
II loved that girl the first time I saw bel
name"
Where was lit"
"In Bradstreets."-Detroit Free PresA
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Mistress: do you know. Carter, HI I
can actually write my name in tho dust on
that table?'
Carter: Faith, mum. that's moro than I
can do. Sure. there's nothing like educa-
ton, after all"-Punch,
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

81 see a crank out West announces his
invention OF a .theater hat for ladies' that
will shut up when the curtain rises" IF
he'd only invent a box party that would do
that he'd deserve a NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Press
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

There seems to be very little sickness IN
your village"
Yes: we've only one doctor, YOU know,
and he is extremely unpopular. personaity'
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Hewitt: I've lost my best friend" Jew
EFT: why don't you advertise for itT'
Hewitt: What do you mean?' Jewett:
II thought YOU said you had lost your
pocketbook."-The Smar Set
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Edith: They say her husband. the Count.
acts dreadfully."
Ethel: Yes: seems to think hs was ad-
mitted to the United States free Of duty
Life,
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20
Beginning to Wake %.

Ned: did he marry her for lover
Jack: he thought se"-somssvnls Jour
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

II must say that your appetite has
greatly improved of late."
Yes" answered the hypochondriac. My
doctor said he would have TO limit my to-
bacco. He said l might smoke a cigar
after each meal. I am now eating six
meals a day."-Washington Star.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

La Montt; Here is a periodical devoted
to air navigation"
La Moyne: "Ah 1t must be a ly-paper."
philadelphia Record.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Yes, you see he was told he'd have TO
stop drinking during office hours"
And has he actually stopped?"
Well. yes. he's stopped having office
Observation-Disclosures Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

| Trasitory.
Famous Author: Il shall have to stop
sending out any more small checks. In
stead OF cashing them the recipients have
been framed to preserve my autograph"
She: Never mind. 1t will only last a
few weeks"
The Coronatio villain.
81 suppose the coronation Will be like a
grand play
But without any villain
Not at all. There's Alfred Austin"
Something to Hold Him for Awhile.
"Have you lived here long," he asked
just because he couldn't think of anything
else to say.
do I look." the indignant lady who was
keeping her grown-up daughter in short
, dresses, answered. "as If l could have lived
anywhere SO very. very long ?"-Chicago
Tribune.
Misunderstood.
And We have one baby said the meek
man who was applying for board. will
you mind it?'
Mind it?' snapped the thin-faced land
lady. "Of course not. Do you think I'm
a e?'-Chicago News.
Ascum: MI. bragiey claims to be a man
Of standing in your church"
Rev. Mr.. Cooley: We'll. he should be.
He doesn't rent a pew."-Philadelphia
Press.
"A man Just called. doctor. an ugly fell
low, who asked il you were in. and SAID
he wanted to give you a horse whipping"
well. and what did you tell him.
Il said l was extremely sorry. but you
were not at home"'-Der Dorfbarbier.
---
s"ThiS naDar' cafJ tho orpo aror,atiSt
complains of the long waits between the
acts OF my new play"
That's unreasonable" replied the candid
FRIEND. They didn't seem to me to be half
long enough or half frequent enough
Chicago Record-Herald.
A Liberal Education.
Wiseun: Honestly. now, did you learn
anything while you were in college?'
Graduate: "Um-m-well. I learned how to
state my ignorance in scientific terms"
Papa" she asked. what does monkey
ing with the buzz saw mean?'
.'Oh. 1t means about the same as rolling
off o the roof. Now don't bother me. I
want to read about the outrage on Cuba."-
Chicago Record-Herald.
Mistress: do you know. Carter, that I
can actually write my name in tho dust on
that tabie?'
Carter: Faith, mum. that's moro than I
can do. Sure, there's nothing like educa-
ton, after alL"-Punch.
did you say you saw my boy Josh Ia
borin' under great excitement" said Farm
er Corntossel.
Yes"
"Well, I don't wonder If Josh was la
borin' at all, he must have been purity sur
prised. an generally MISUNDERSTANDING
ton Star.
do you believe in love at frst sight?'
IT loved that girl the first time I saw her
name"
Where was tit"
"In Bradstreets."-Detroit Free PresA
Edith: They say her husband. the Count.
acts dreadfully."
Ethel: YES: seems to think he was ad-
mitted to the United States free Of duty
Life.
He Was Brother HlghmorA. are you
contributing anything for the benefit of
the heather this Year, Yes. sir. 1 am
having my washing done At q Chinese laun-
dry."-Chicago Tribune.
DO you drink corser' asked the doctor
Of an aged patient
Yes" was the reply.
Coffee" continued the II. D.. SIS . slow
poison"
Yes. very SLOW" replied the old man: Il
have taken It daily for nearly eighty
JearA"-X3t-BitA
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20
A Request for Explicit Insorm.tion.

Are you thinking only Of the PRESENT."
asked the serious man, 'or are you doing
your duty and trying to leave something for
those who come after your
Those who come after rneg' repeated the
man of genius. pensively. DO you refer to
posterity or my Observation-Disclosures
Star.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

did you say you saw my boy Josh la
borin' under great excitement said Farm
er Corntossel.
Yes"
well. I don't wonder. If Josh was Ia.
borin' at all, he must AVE been purity sur
prised, an generally MISUNDERSTANDING
ton Star.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Doctor Joanes: II say. waiter, I believe
you've got palpltation OF the heart. haven't
your" Waiter; "Yessir; and they're I'M
common nice to-day, sir. Will you try
some. iii ?'-Chicago News.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

I'm awfully fond Of dancing" said
Klumsay. as he steered her through the
waltz
indeed" replied the fair partner. Sc"
suppose you'll try TO learn some time.
hen.'-Philadelphia Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

He was being gently chaned about his
stammering. He took the badinage with
customary good nature.
'T-t-that's fright, b-b-boys" he smiled,
TIN q s-stammerer all right. Wh-wh-whyl
Wh-when / w-w-wa-wa-When 1 w-want
vinegar for Mummy s-s-s-salad. 1 c-c-call
for s-s-sweet cider and It's v~-v-vincgar
Vranetoco Bulletin.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

DO you drink cofser' asked the doctor
Of an aged patient.
Yes" was tho reply.
Coffee" continued the n. D. SIS . slow
poison"
Yes. very SLOW" replied the old man: Il
have taken It daily for nearly eighty
Jea1'-X1t-BitA
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Beg pardon" said the suspicious looking
character meeting Subbubs in a dark street,
but what time have YOU
Just enough to catch my train" replied
Subbubs. as he FASTENED on.-Philadelphia
Press
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

The Husband: why is 1t that women al
why's say, TN be ready in two seconds?'
The Wife: "Humph! and why is it that
men always say, "Oh. I'm ready now p
Brooklyn Life.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

His Lordship: Prisoner. you have the
right of challenging any of the jury If you
desire to do So"
Prisoner: RICH y'are, guv'nor. I'll fight
that little black-whiskered bloke at the end
If he'll step outside. "-T1d-Bits.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-20

Mrs. Odd: Mary. where 10 the whisk
broom?'
Mary: why, mem, We were all out o.
breakfast food and / had to chop 1t up for
Mr.. Odds breakfast"-Chicago Daily News.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

Irish linen and damasl, worked in
beautiful patterns, are. l was told in
| an Irish linen store in London, to be
found on the tables of the nobility.
Il would not encourage IL taste for
whiskey, but if whiskey is to he used
Irish whiskcy is the purest stlled.
Irish whiskey is made today, as it
has been for generations, by the lead
ing houses in Ireland, no forced meth
ods being used to age it.
"Therc are chemical works in Ire
land which supply the English and
other markets. There is a large es-
tablishment in Cork for the making
Of jams and marmal.dc. which are to
be found on every breakfast table in
hotels and the houses of wel-to-do
families. The consumption must be
very large.
THE lrishman in America has an
opportunity to encourage the Irish
manufacturer. He will find that his
articles are just as good as those pro-
duced by tire English or French man.
ufacturcrs. Lady Aberdeen made Il
c"mmcndablc effort during the Chi
ca@o Exposition to introduce and pro-
mote the sale of Irish manufactured
and wrrstad goods. l have never
heard that the scheme has taken any
ootholl.'
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
NOTICE OF EXPIRATION OF RE

DENlPTION.-Forf Sales.)
In whose name assessed, w. S. King;
description of land lot II, block GO, Call
houn Park, Henncpin County, Minnesota;
year tax levied. 1885; when sold, May 25,
1900; amount sold for to purchaser, $2i.GD;
interest, $2.5l total, $ll.96; total amount
required to redeem $11.9G.
Office of County Auditor, IIennepin
County, Minnesota. TO w. S. King: You
are hereby notified that pursuant to the
forfeited real estate tax judgment, en-
tered in the District Court County of
Hennepin, State of Minnesota. on the
twenty-tirst day of March, y. D. 1900 in
proceedings to enforce payment Of taxes
on real estate in said County, remaining
delinquent in the year 1897, and prior
years. under the provisions of Chapter
322 of the laws of 1899. the land herein
above described. assessed in your name,
was sold for tax as above stated, and
that the time allowed by law for redemr
ton from said sale, will expire sixty days
and proof thereof has been filed in this
office. In addition TO the amount above
stated as necessary to redeem from said
sale the cost of service of this notice
must be paid, together with such interest
as may accrue from and after this date.
Witness my hand and official seal, at
Minneapolis, in said County Of Hennepin,
this a1st day of July 1902
HUGH r. SCOTT,
Per T. G. PRACN.A, County .\uditor.
No A-2297
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
NOTICE OF EXPIRATION OF RE-

,DEMPIlON.-OFOr SaleS.)
In whose name assessed f. G. Robb;
description of land lot A. block &c. CAL
houn Park Hennepin County, Minnesota;
years tax levied, 1883 to 1895; when sold,
May IS, 1850; amount sold for to pur-
chaser $500; interest, S11.34; total, $53.3i;
total amount required to redeem s5S.34.
Office of County Auditor, Hennepin
County. Minnesota. To F. G. Robb: You
are hereby notified that, pursuant to the
forfeited real estate tax judgment, en-
tered in the District Court, County Of
Hennepin, State of Minnesota. on the
twenty y-tirst day of March, A. D. 1900, i'll
proceedings to enforce payment of taxes
on real estate in said County, remaining
delinquent in the year 1897 and prior
years. under the provisions of Chapter
322 of the laws of 1899, the land herein
above described assessed in your name,
was sold for tax as above stated, and
that the time allowed by law for redemp-
ton from said sale, will expire sixty days
after service of this notice has been made
and proof thereof has been filed in this
office. In addition to the amount above
stated, as necessary to redeem from said
sale, the cost of service of this notice
must be paid, together with such interest
as may accrue from and after this date
Witness my hand and official seal, at
Minneapolis, in said County of Hennepin,
this 21st day of July, 1902.
HUGH r. SCOTT,
Per F, G. PRACNA, County Auditor.
Deputy. [Seal]
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
Does This Interest You 4?

The Irish Standard has on sale at its
Office. 81 Fourth street S., second floor,
Il choice stock Of books and religious
articles. DO you need prayer books,
Bibles. scapulars. rosaries, candles,
catcchisms. candlcsticks, holy water
fonts. statues, brooches, pins or any
thing in the line Of Catholic church
goods? If in need, call and see the
goods. Our book advertisement ap-
pears OH page 2 Of this paper. Read
the list and prices. All orders by mail
rcceivep rompt attention. Parties out
side the city wanting anything in the
line of church goods. religious articles
or books. will find it profitable to write
us for same.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
University of Not7e Dame.

We call the attention of our readers
University, Notre Dame. Ind. one of
the great educational institutions of
the West. which appears in another
column of this paper Those Of our
readers who may have occasion to look
llp Il college for their sons during the
coming year would do we'll to corrc-
spond with the President, who will
send them catalogue free of charge,
us we'll as all particulars regarding
terms, courses of study, etc.
There is thorough preparatory
school in connection with the Univcr-
sity. in which students of all grades
will have every opportunity of prcpar-
ing themselves for higher studies.
The Commercial Course intended for
young men preparing for business.
may be finished in one or two years,
according TO the ability of the stu
dent ST. Edwards Hall, for boys un-
der thirteen, is an unique department
Of the institution The higher courses
are thorough in every respect, and stu
dents will find every opportunity of
perfccting themselves in any line of
work they may choose to select. Thor
oughness in class work. cXactness in
the care of students, and devotiG N 70
the best interests of all, are the distin-
gushing characteristics of Notrc
Dame University.
Fifty-cight years Of active work in
the cause of education have made this
institution famous all over the country.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

A''u ASsiueu ol lIe Olu homestead ut
Midland junction, and was Il lady
who ever had the respect and esteem
OF all who knew her. She WIS ever
, Tie true friend, the good tlnd faithful
wife and the wise mother. She was
! Il native of County Limerick, Ireland,
and came to this country when Il
mere girl. She had reached an ad-
vanced age. She lived Il long and USE
ful life, and by industry ana persever-
ance with her husband had uccunu-
, lated Il competency for her declining
years.
Houghtyn, Mich.-St Ignatius Ro,
man Catholic Church will be dcdicat-
cd ut 10 O'Clock Sunday morning, Aug.
| 10. pontilicial high mass will be eel
ehratcd by the Rt. Rev. Frederick
Els, OF Marquette. During the mass
William Il. Stahl, of Houghton, will
be ordained. The lit. Rev. Sebastian
G. Messmer, bishop of Green Bay, will
preach the dcdicatory sermon. Among
the visiting church dignitarits will be
Monsigncr Lagner. OF Negaunee;
Monsigncr Fox, Of Green Bay, and
many of the clergy of this diocese.
Admission to the church will be by
ticket only. The R"v. y. J. Rezek is
pastor of ST. Ignatius.
II1StiDrS NTinp-
Mrs. j. Z. Meloy occurred IRON the
Church Of the Guardian .An@els OH
Friday morning, July is. and was
largely attended. Rev. J. +. Dolphin,
| former pastor hero, but now of St.
Paul. ofliciatcd, owing 10 the absence
of Rev. J. y. Fitzgerald, and paid
fine tribute to her memory. Tle
floral offerings from loving friends
were profuse and beautiful. Mr.. and
Mrs. J. c. Melov. Sbullsburg, Wis,
Mr.. and Mrs. z. NJ. ilcnnessy, John
Caulteld and G. W. Copley, of ST.
Paul, were among these from out Of
town who We're present.
Winnipeg. Man--.Inseph Burke,
born in the city Of Dublin, Ireland
i'm 1921. died at st. Boniface Hospital
on July 16. H: landed in Quebec in
1915, married Mary Conrerfcrd, an
Irish girl. ill 1917, and went to ST.
Jean Pcrt-Jol. Quebec. where he kept
general store till 1870, when he
cam, to Manitoba. Here he resided
ever since with his eldest son Joseph,
Of Burke Brothers, general merchants,
:3222 Main street. MIR. Joseph Burke.
ST., was a man Cf iima education.
whose English it was Il pleasure to
listen to. lIe preserved his faculties
,lnimpairc1 till the day of his death.
when he pin,lsly received the last sac
rHmcnts and was ccnSOlcd by the
presence mt his bedside of his ol;1
friend. Father Iebcl. S. ]. He had
six sons. one of whom. Nicholas. died
three years ago: of the five others
two, Henry and George, are in Los
Angeles, and three. Joseph, William
and David. live in Winnipeg.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
pRORA,rE NOTICE

STATE OF MlNNESOTA, COUNTY OF
Fiennepin. Probate Court.
In the Matter of the Estate of Peter
Nelson, alias Peter Nelson, Deceased.
On reading and filing the final account
of the administrator of the estate Of said
deceased. aud his petition praying for the
allowance of said account and for a de-
cree assigning the residue of said estate
to the persons by law entitled to the
same:
IT is ORDERED. That said petition
be heard ut :. special term OF said Court
to- be held at the Court House in the City
of Minneapolis, in said County, on Mon
day, the 1lth day Of August, 1902. at 10
o'cioc: in the forenoqp; and that notice
'f such hearing be given to all persons
Interested, by publishing this order once
in each week for three successive weeks
prior to said day of hearing in the Irish
Standard, a newspaper printed and pub
lshed in said County.
Dated at Minneapolis, this 14th day of
July. 1902.
BY the Court,
T.. c. HARVEY,
Judge of Probate.
LJTEVIG ARCTANDER,
Attorney for Administrator
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
Z = = 7 u W Y ~ :. 'f1'Nt
Attorney for Administrator.
rRORATE NOTICE.

STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY OF
lIaInCrin lrhi,ate Court.
In the Matter of the Estate of Andrew
Rood. Deceased.
On reading and filing the final account
of the administration of the estate of said
deceased. end his petition praying for the
allowances OF saiG account and for de-
cree assigning the residue of said estate
to thu: le,scns by law entitled to the
same:
IT is ORDERED, That said petition
be heard at a special term of said Court
to be held at the Court House in the City
of Minneapolis. in said County on Mon
Gay. the 18th day of August, 1902. at 10
o'clock in the forenoon: and that notice
of such hearing he given to all persons
Interested. by publishing this order once
in each week for three successive weeks
PRIOR to said day of hearing in the Irish
Standard, a newspaper printed and pub
lished III said County.
Dated at Minneapolis this 11th day Of
July. 1902.
By the Court.
F. c. HARVEY.
Judge of Probate.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
TO LAND SEEKERS.

The opening to settlement Of the
Chippewa Indian Reservation in North
ern Minnesota. \ large, finely litho-
graphed sectional map, showing Towns
and Railroads. together with large
descriptive pamphlet. containing the
text of the Morris Bill as passed by
Congress. Also many valuable point
ers" on securing homesteads, with ex-
tracts of recent laws. and laris for
investment.-Price so cents. Send pos
tai note to Reishus-Remer Land Co.,
Grand Rapids, Minn.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
OVER THE NORTHWEST.

WaMslla. Nlinn.-AIrs. Hanora
Ryan died at the home OF !: relative
with whom she was visiting near Will
snn. Wis. on Sunday. July Is. The
remains We're brought to her home at
Midland Junction on Monday and
were buried from ST. Felix Church
here on Tuesday morning. She and
her husband. the late Cornelius Ryan.
were among the early settlers of the
county. For about forty:flve years she
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

JcaN-Young Simpkins has at last
succeeded i'll carving out a fortune by
his own efforts.
preston that he married an heiress.
JMN-So he did. but he had to cut
out Il dozen other fellows before talk
ing up his residence on the sunny side
of Easy street
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
HONIESEEKERS' TICKETS TO
THE WEST.

Homeseekers can buy excursion
tickets via the Great Northern Rail-
way, to points in Manitoba, Mon
tana, Washington and the west, at
about one fare for the round trip, on
first and third Tuesdays of July,
August. September and October.
Tickets and information from all
Railway Ticket Agents, or F. I. Whit
ney. G. P. and T. A., st. Paul.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02
uoMEsEEKERs' EXCURSIONS,

Great Northern Railway sells home
seekers tickets. ST. Paul or Mime
apolis to all points west, including
Montana and Washington. on the first
and third Tuesdays Of July, August.
September and October. 1902. Rate
one fare for the round trip.
Information from all Ticket Agents,
or F. I. Whitney, G. P. and T. A., st.
Paul.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

Prayer books and rosaries for first
communion children. We have new
line of white prayer books for girls.
Standard Catholic Book Store, 81 S.
4th st.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

MCGOWAN & Mahoney, fire insurance,
real estate, loans. 900 Temple Court,
corner Washington and Hennepin.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

CALL UP MEAGHER & co.
If you want good dry pine wood.
Every load warranted. Tel. 1851.
The Irish standard., 1902-08-02

llrllS. nUl SNlGlEttltl from EllEliIN is
not thought of by sensible m,n. 1t
is true that England has been slow
in doing justice to Ireland. ANA what
has been gained would nat exist today
were it not for the continued agitn
tinn of tl,r representatives of the Irish
people in parliament.
"l'nder the Lard Act. as it exists
today, there is dual ownership Of
the land; The landlord cannot deprive
the tenant OF th, Improvements he has
made. This has not proved satisfac-
tory. and the consequence is the in
PRODUCTION of tho Compulsory Pur-
chase Net. now pending in parliament.
"Thc representatives Of the Irish
people in parliament must be upheld
in their excellent work. They are
now practically united and know
what they want. I am speaking of
questions cn which they are united.
"Thcrc is one practical way I would
suggest to the descendants Of Irish
mon in America cf showing their
sympathy and interest in their mother
country. and it is this. that when they
require goods made by Irish manufac-
tuc,rs, they patronize them. In the
shop windows of the tailcring estab-
| lishments on Bond street and other
streets of T.ondcn. Irish twceils and
cloths are prominently labelled. In
carpet stores are. to be seen Irish rugs
and carpets: in fact. one of the finest
rugs I ever saw in a carpet warehouse
IN our own city was an Irish rug.