The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-08-29

fOSs.-Tit-R Bits.
A certain little man Of 6 had been all
eagerness i'll anticipation Of summer at
the first bath. When. however, he saw
the ocean with the great waves rolling
on the beach. he could not be induced to
go near it. and positively refused to put
on the bathing suit of which he had been
so proud. One day his father offered him
80 cents if he would put on his suit and
get wet Ill over once. He wanted the
money very much, so he finally consented.
Clasplng his arms around his fathers
neck like a v1Se the great undertaking
was begun. After much shivering and
trembling he WAS wet about two inches
over his ankles, when he exclaimed:
Papa, 1-gues:-I-will-o nly-take-1O
- cents - worth this time. ''-Trained
Motherhood.
Some of those actors are too fresh"
| said the baldheaded party in the front
row.
Eyes, rejoinel his companion, 'but
| the gymnaSts make ND for it.
''How's that?' queried the B. II. +.
'SOmersault. answered the other with
| a fendish grin.-New York Daily News.
| Teacher-What is velocity, Johnny?
Johnny-Velocity is what a Teller let's
go of a bumble-bee with.
The Parson-My boy, I'm sorry to see
you flying your kite on the Sabbath
Small Boy-Dat's all right, mister.
Dis kites made Nv ligious paper See?
Small Ned hearing a number OF frogs
in a pond making a hideous noise, ex-
claimed: MY goodness, but the troggies
must sleep awful sound"
| why do you think so?' asked his
mother.
"'Cause they snore so loud" replied
Ned.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
"Pa.' said little Willie Il heard a man
say today that New York is very COS.
1T means, my son. said the New
Yorker, as he laid aside his light overcoat
for his palm-leaf fan, that we have all
| the climates Of the world here III one
day. Philadelphia Record.
A schoolboy who was going to party
was cautioned by his father not to walk
home if It rained, and was given money
for cab. It rained heavily, and great
was the fathers surprise when his son,
in spite of the instructions he had re-
ceived, arrived home drenched to the
skin.
|
you, Alfred?'' the parent asked sternly.
"Oh, yes; but when l ride with you
you always make me ride inside. This
time rode Oh top with the driver. Say,
dad, it was grand: Observer.
''Do you think literary woman ought
to marry?''
mot if she is a novelist Her ideas
of manly perfection as depicted i'll her
books would be enough to make any coll
scientious husband give up in despair and
| leave home to look for work as Il truck
| driver. Washington Star.
| a rather simple looking lad hated be-
! fore Il bla ok smiths shop on his way home
from school. and eyed the doinss OF the
| proprietor with much interest.
The brawny smith, dissatitied with
the boys curiosity, held a piece of redhot
| iron suddenly under the youngsters nose,
| hoping to make him beat hasty retreat:
| IF you'll give me half a dollar III
| lick it, said the lad.
The smith took from his pocket half a
dollar and held it out.
The simple looking youngster took the
| coin. licked it, and slowly walked away
whistling.
Tess-I don't like Jack Hansom's ways
at all. He's always trying to kiss me.
Jess-Oh, come now! You know you
can't imagine anything nicer than to
have him kiss you.
Tcss-Exactly. But, as I tell you, he's
| always trying, and that's all.-Philadel-
Dhia Press.
antony and Cleopatra were drinking
pearls dissolved in wine.
| And why.' she inquired, as she slipped
the golden liquor, do they call me the
| Lily Of the Nile?'
| You certainly aren't water lily
BY way of retaliation the tempestuous
| queen made him drink a glass of her
! own brewing, thus giving him Roman
! Punch in the f:ce.-New York World.
81 hear Kadleigh was hopping mad
over the seat they assigned him at the
Mad? He was simply beside him
SELF"
"Beside himself? No wonder he
kicked" -Philadelphia Press.
CAT STORY.
We have 4 fine nasturtium bed,
And our ncighbors have cat:
Cur neighbors have no flower bed
For they occupy fiat.
Our pretty lawn is nice and cool:
Just the place their cat to please.
And so our fine nasturtium bed
Is her "Flowely bed Of ease
Boston Transcript.
-:O:-
A NEW PELEE
Like the lava from crater
Came the gravy on his pate,
For he failed to tip the waiter,
So the waiter tipped the plate.
New York Sun.
-:C:--
g., -. SMALL BEGINNING.
Little gobs of powder;
Tiny dabs of paint
Make the little freckle