davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

the buildings, Mrs Bowser, and at the
first signal Of danger leap for the mid
die of the street"
"But you were passing building a
few weeks ago and brickbat fell
down on your head" she protested.
'Why didn't you leap for the middle Of
the street,"
Because in my GOODNESS I observed
that it was only the fall of a single
brick instead of general collapse" he
lamely replied.
'Then single brick is nothing?"
'.Don't take that tone with me, wo-
man! / am trying to beat a little sense
into your head, and you ought to see it.
Suppose you were in a theater when
the cry of fire was raised-there with
out me. What would you do?'
'I'd ask the person next to me where
the fire was"
Certainly you would, and you'd
want to know when his or her grand
father died, whether he or she had
ever had measles or whOOping cough,
whether the fire was on the stage or in
some factory a mile away, and I'd be
lucky to recover your charred bones.
Yes, you'd be sure to fool around for
ten or fifteen minutes instead of calm
~ rising up at the first alarm and cool
ly walking out By George, but what
an idiot woman ISL
sT'm sorry" said Mrs. Bowser in con-
trite tones as Mr.. Bowser got up and
took a walk.
eve will suppose a few cases nearer
home" he finally continued as he glar-
ed at the cat and fell into his chair.
"You are sitting here alone. and you
hear sudden fall downstairs. You
run down and find the cook senseless
on the floor, with her eyes rolled back
and all her limbs rigid. What do you
do?'
ST telephone for the doctor"
eyes; you monkey with the tele-
phone for a quarter Of an hour to find
that the doctor is out, and when you
return to the kitchen the soul of the
cook has passed away. Had you placed
the dishpan under her head and dash
ed water into her face she would have
been up and at work in ten minutes"
Mr.. Bowser had a good deal more to
say about GOODNESS and calmness and
presence of mind, and Mrs. ROwser
had had the tact to let him do his
Boosting undisputed and when bed
time came he was SO we'll pleased with
himself that he admitted she might al
most cross the street without being
knocked down by a car or blown up by
dynamite He didn't see the cat wink
at herself or he might have suspected
that stone was being prepared for
him to stub his toe against He had
been asleep for an hour, and the only
noise to disturb the night were the
yeowls of q cat in the back yard look
ing for scrap, when Mrs. Bowser
shook him by the shoulder and softly
said:
II am not in the least excited. and Of
course you won't be, but l thought it
best to tell you that l smell smoke"
"By thunder, so do Iv' he exclaimed
as he sat up in bed and shifted and
snuffed.
'We will be calm-very calm," she
continued. cit may be that the whole
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

the fault Of others. If went blunder-
ing up and down as you do, trusting to
bullhead luck, I'd be killed inside Of a
week. When you take car, do you
ever think that runaway team may
jump over the front dashbOard?"
81 don't think I ever do" she adj
mitted.
''Just like a woman, and yet such
thing is quite likely to happen and to
cause the death of six or eight people
in the front end of the car. Never sit
in the front end Of Car-never. Sup
pose you were walking along and the
cry of Mad dog! was raised, what
would you do?"
81 should probably look around for
the dog"
mot doubt of it, and thereby fall
victim to the brute. Should you ever
hear that cry, you must dash for the
nearest doorway at once. Bear this in
mind whenever you are out, so as not
to be taken by surprise. There is such
thing as the machinery of trolley
car becoming disabled and the car run
ring away. In such case, were you a
passenger, what would you do?
I'D call for the police"
''Very likely, and then run out and
jump off and break your neck. The
sensible way would be to shut your
teeth, brace your feet and get a good
grip with your hands, and if the car
dashed into anything you'd escape in.
Jury. When you are passing along the
walk, does it ever occur to you that
buildings frequently collapse and kill
half a dozen or more pedestriansY
81 don't believe it does"
"Of course not 1t never does to any
woman. She goes laundering along as
if she was as safe as a dollar in a de-
post vault. Always have one eye Cd
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Her Childish Faith.

A little girl on East Third street,
who is noted for her slangy conversa-
ton and has besides the sublime faith
of childhood in the providence of God,
startled the household the other even
ing by her irreverent speech, which, of
course, she didn't mean in the way she
put it,
After she retired her mother heard
her calling "God, God" several times,
and fastened to her crib to learn what
was wanted. The child asked petu-
lantly as soon as her mother had ar
rived:
Mamma, can't God hear"
eyes, DEAR" replied her mother.
"Why"
.'Well, I've been calling for Him for
half an hour and He hasn't made 2
soundr-Duluth NewsTribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Save the Children.

Statistics will prove that large per-
centage Of deaths among children may
be traced to complications arising
from the early souring of milk by
bacteria. Cholera infantum is the
most fatal disease of infancy and COM
mon, especially with bottle fed in
fants. Perry Davis Painkiller in the
emergency is the best remedy and
saves many child's life while the
doctor is coming. 25 and soc bottles.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Pigs Find Their Way Home.

A friend Of mine bought two young
pigs, about 3 months old, and they
were carried home six miles in a COW
cred van. They managed to escape
from their new quarters. took bee
line back to their place of birth, and
swan across a swift river fully fifty
yards wide on their way home. In d1e
course they were returned to the man
who had bought them, and within a
week they were back again on their
original homestead. We hear a great
deal about homing instincts of the pig
con and the dog, but no one, apparent
ly, has a good word to say for the
gentleman who used to pay the rent
London Sporting and Dramatic News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Taft's Devotion to Duty.

Senator Dolliver, in a speech on the
Philippine bill, made the statement
that Governor Taft, recently an
swered an inquiry concerning his
health by saying that he knew he was
going back to the Philippines to die
but that he could not on that account
forsake the trust which had been COM
mitted to his keeping. Governor Taft's
cheerfulness in all his references to the
surgical operation he had undergone
during his visit to the United States
impressed most of his friends with the
idea that he was hopeful of recovery.
In view Of that fact, Mr.. Delivers re-
mark today fell upon them with start
ling effect--New York Evening Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Ira d. Reckard, Duncombe, Ia. !,
writes: "My little boy scalded his
leg from the knee to the ankle. ]
used Banner Salve Immediately and
in three weeks time it was almost en-
tirelv healed. I want to recommend
it to every family and advise them to
keep Banner Salve on hand as it is a
sure remedy for scalds or any sores.
Hatch Bros. and Jos. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Quick Relief for Asthma.

Miss Maude Dickens, Parson, Kans.,
writes: Il suffered eight years with
asthma in its worst form. had sew
eral attacks during the last year and
was not expected to live through.
them. l began using Foley's Honey
and Tar and it has never failed to give
immediate relief.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Mr.. G.. e. Benton told the Society of
Engineers in Boston the other day that
more persons ride in the elevators in
New York buildings every day than
are carried in the same time on the
electric and elevated railroads of the
city. Some office elevators, he said,
carry 10000 passengers daily.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Income

doesn't make prosperity if the ex-
penses are greater. Did you ever
figure out what sickness costs you per
year, doctor bills, medicine bills, etc. !,
to say nothing of the suffering?
Rheumatism strikes like knife in
the back if left alone; with Perry Da-
Wis Painkiller the terrors of this dis
ease are headed off. Painkiller re-
lieves muscular cramps, lumbago,
neuralgia and sciatica. 25 and scots.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Sidney-Rodney you live by your
wits, don't you?
Rodney-Well, partly, and partly by
other peoples lack of wits.-Detroit
Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

ICOpyrlgNC, 1SUl, py y. .. Lewis
"Y w ERE is a case," began Mr..
Bowser the other evening as
u he laid aside his newspaper
there is a case where q
woman in Chicago lost her life by be-
coming confused on the street and be-
ing struck by carriage. Forty nine
out of every fifty accidents occur
through people losing their heads at
critical moment. You have been very
lucky thus far in escaping accidents,
but l feel it my duty nevertheless to
advise with you. 1t is through no fault
of your own that you haven't been
smashed ~ dozen times over"
'Why should be smashed upw ask
ed Mrs Bowser as she looked up from
her book.
Because you are woman and be-
cause woman loses her nerve the in
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
For Sale.

220 acres situated miles southeast
of Lancaster in town Of Ellenboro. on
road leading to Kings bridge. About
100 acres under cultivation, balance
pasture and timber, abundance of
water. Good buildings. For further
particulars inquire Of or address,
17tf JOHN G. THEIR.
Lancas Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
A Wife.

Benedict-Give me few pointers on
how to manage wife, old chap.
Meeks-Can't, my boy, but can give
you no end Of advice on how to be man.
aged by a wife so that you'll think
you are the manager.-Brooklyn Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
A. Hot One.

81 am willing to admit" said the
Darwinian theorist, shat l came from
the ape"
"But," replied the sharp witted lis
tener, "you ought to have sufficient re-
spect for yeur ancestors not to admit
it."-Ohio State Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Getting Acquainted.

81 remember" said the old inhabit-
ant, "when a merry go round was a
wonderful novelty, remarkable sight,
in our village"
Here he mods his head wisely and
continues:
'But, now we have grown familiar
with them, we call them mollie go
rounds. "-Ba fillmore American.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
Among the Swift.

"Does Billy Billions get much fun out
of his automobile?
81 don't believe he does l never
hear of his being arrested. washing
ton Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
A Different Kind.

''That man pulled down a lot of
ivory yesterday" said the prosperous
gambler.
''He did? Where was the gamer
''Who said anything about game?
He's a entist."-Baltimore News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

We cannot compliment the tactics Of
Brother Smith of the Blue Hills Eagle.
He rang us up by telephone the other
day and called us liar and a conceit-
ed ass, and yet when we rode over the
next day to have it out with him he re-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Only one member of McKinley's
original cabinet, as formed in March,
1897 now "Reminiscences w. Wilson,
secretary of agriculture.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Its Editor Dashes Off Some More
Lively Items

copyright, 1902 by c. B. Lewis.1
A big cinnamon bear was seen near
the bridge over Wolf creek a day or
two ago by the mail carrier, and the
animal looked as if he wouldn't object
to few picnic parties to begin the sea-
son on.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

A Chicago party who was here last
week to see about establishing a street
car line went home discouraged. He
found all the saloons congregated on an
area of three blocks, and no one want
ing to travel in any other direction.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

They are a slouchy lot over at Lone
Jack. They tried to hang a man the
other day with a log chain, being too
lazy to hunt up rope, and of course
the thing was failure, and the fellow
took to the woods and escaped.
M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Giveadam Gulch now boasts Of six
teen kerosene lamps to light it's public
street, and even a drunken man can
find his way around corners.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

ICE CREAM only cents dish at
Lathrop's.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Indiana democrats refused to in
dorse Bryan and the Kansas City
platform, while the liberal democrats
of New York hold to the Nebraskan
and denounce Hill as an arch traitor.
Thus the breach widens.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Jim Mccoy outran an avalanche on
Dog mountain the other day which was
and he doesn't expect to get his breath
back before July
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

the elephant, after kicking the tiger
downstairs. ''Much encouraged, !"
answered the kickee, Il was afraid
you would make it two flights"
The treasury department has decid-
ed that the state of Ohio is entitled to
about $46, 900 interest, etc., on loans
made to arm and equip her soldiers
during the civil war. Congress will
be asked Inappropriate the necessary
payment.
It is evident from Mr.. Roosevelt's
message on the subject of Cuban reci-
procity that his attitude on this
phrase of the problem bears no direct
relation to his sentiments regarding
the general question of reciprocity,
but is based solely on the exigencies
arising from the peculiar relations be-
tween this country and Cuba, grow
ing out of the Spanish-American war
and the Platt amendment.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

tired to the pine thickets in the rear
of his office and could not be induced
to come out until we had started for
home. There is such a thing as ed
itorial courtesy. even in the backwoods.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26
COOL, CALM BOWSER
LECTURES WIFE ON THE EVIL OF
LOSING PRESENCE OF MIND.
He Tells Her What to Do When Tn
Peril-After Plying the IndecisiOn
of Women He Goes to Bed and
Meets His Waterloo.

Copyright, 1902. by c. B. Lewis.]
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

The democrats are claiming success
and pleasant encouragement from the
outcome of the recent Oregon cleo
tions. This has elicitated the follow
ing fable: Chow do you feel? 'asked
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

A Frenchman has devised cable
laying pillow which cuts the earth to a
depth of three feet and lays cable at
the bottom of the cut at one opera
ton. 1t is designed for use across
the desert of Sahara to connect the
Lake Tehad region with civilization,
at the same time obviating the diff
culties experienced with pole strung
wires VIII CHI are cut by hostile ma
tiYes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

DR.. Assmann, German scientist,
has sent balloons recently to the un-
precedented height of II 1-2 miles.
Human beings could not live at that
and the balloons were fitted with aut-
omatic registering devices so that
when the highly rarified upper at
mosphere was reached and the bal
looms exploded by the expansive force
of the gas in them parachutes brought
the recording apparatus safely back to
earth.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-26

Some time ago we spoke Of the rec
ord of Mr.. Patterson of Colorado who
had addressed the United States sem
ate about six hundred times at that
writing. Now his record shows 738
remarks, elaborate and incidental, in
a senatorial career of only four
months.
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
SINGLE COPIES, 5 CENTS.

narily gifted with eloquence, but with
a single impracticable idea for the
cure of all public ills, and that idea
was that, two things unequal in value
anyhere in the world, could be made
equal by local Legislative enactment;
and two principles utterly antagonistic
and irreconcilable, could be made
harmonious by the same method.
"He succeeded in turning things
upside down and they are not righted
yet, while he continues to preach his
fallacies. p"
Mr.. Reeve is eighty-five years of
age and sound in body and mind. and
drawing from vast and varied ex-
perience, this able and honest citizen
gives the readers of The Conservative
a taste of old-fashioned patriotism
seasoned with wit and garnished with
wisdom. 1t is hoped that he may
continue to favor us with his great
and good teachings in civics
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
SIXTEEN TO
ONE.

lished in the Conservative of January
3, 1902. over the name of @. H. Reeve,
of Plymouth, Indiana, there is very
just statement as to Peter the Hermit.
And then Mr.. Reeve points out in
have dreams and rave and rant as to
the future, giving out prophecies OF
disasters and portents of calamities for
the whole earth. And then he comes
to the sixteen-to one crusade and re-
marks, as to the philosopher, states
man, soldier and orator Of this state.
who has been and is Peter the Hermit
of the Platte and platitudes.
"Finally, there came one extraordi-
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
Are we to con-
ALL RIGHT? clude, since the
Omaha Daily Bee

has ceased to censure State Treasurer
Steuffer that he is now an honest and
efficient officer? And if he is honest
and efficient. is it not the duty of the
Omaha Daily Bee to retract all that
it said and all that it implied as to
certain of his official acts having
been unlawful and not honest?
The Conservative, believing in the
Bee, was led into censure Of the state
treasurer because of the very direct
charges made against that officer.
And now if the Bee retracts, The Con-
servative will apologize. And if the
state treasurer is innocent it is the
duty of every decent citizen and de-
cent journal to uphold and defend
him.
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
The writers for
many farm papers
are mere theorists,
THEORISTS.

and know nothing about life on the
farm. After forty-six years residence
on the same farm, the editor of The
Conservative concludes that the book
of his experience in agriculture, horti-
culture and arboriculture is to him far
more useful than many recent publica-
tions by grange officers and other
guardians of plowmen, herdsmen and
orchardists. And the returns made in
cash by the farm are not, as rule, the
result of having followed grange advice
or having practiced the precepts laid
down by associated wisdom in any sort
of secret societies.
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
r h e wonderful
exploration of the
Louisiana purchase
by Lewis and Clark
LEWIS AND
CLARK.

began on Monday, May ID, 1904. The
expedition set out on that date from
the mouth of Wood river, "a small
stream which empties itself into the
Mississippi, opposite to the entrance of
the Missouri. It is situated in latitude
38 degrees, 55 minutes, and 1876 seconds
north, and longitude from Greenwich
80 degrees, 81 minutes and 45 seconds. ;"
And just ninety seven years ago, that
is, on the ninth of January, 1905, the
exploring party were housed at Fort
Mandan, and the diary is: "wednesday,
Jan. 8, 18O5.-The weather is cold; the
thermometer at sunrise is 81 degrees
below zero. Ka-go-ha-mi breakfasted
with us, and Captain Clark, with three
or four men, accompanied him and
party of Indians to hunt, in which they
were so fortunate as to kill a number of
Buffaloe; but they were incommoded
by snow, by high and squally winds,
and by extreme cold; several Of the
Indians came to the fort nearly frozen,
others are missing, and we are uneasy
for one of our men, who was separated
from the rest during the chase, has not
returned"
1t is seen by the above that the
Buffalo did not all go south during the
winter and that, all
Buffalo. the year rOun d,
grazing on tn e
upper Missouri was then sufficient to
subsist large herds. The extreme cold
in that camp on the morning of Janu-
ary 10th, 1905, was registered at ''forty
The Conservative, 1902-01-09

degrees below zero or seventy-two de-
grees below the freezing point
Telling of the sufferings of an Indian
boy thirteen years Of age who had lain
out all night in the
Indian Kindness. blizzard with very
little clothing upon
him, and of an Indian who though his
dress was very thin, chad slept on the
snow without a fire and not suffered the
slightest inconvenience"-the diary
declares: 1--WE have indeed observed
that these Indians support the rigors of
the season in way which we had
hitherto thought impossible. A more
pleasing reflection occurred at seeing
the warm interest which the situation
of these two persons had excited in the
village; the boy had been prisoner and
adopted from charity, yet the distress
of the father proved that he felt for
him the tenderest affection; the man
was person of no distinction, yet the
whole village was full of anxiety for his
safety, and when they came to us bor-
rowed a sleigh to bring them home with
ease, if they survived, or to carry their
bodies if they perished."
Those Indians before they became
civilized had kindly sympathies for
those in affliction.
The Louisiana Purchase Exposition at
St. Louis next year ought to have a
map of the Missouri river on exhibition,
showing each Of the daily journeys and
camping places Of Lewis and Clark dur
ing their expedition. Perhaps plaster
cast of the Missouri valley would be
better. And it might show the then
and the mow of that stream and the
country it permeates.
The Conservative, 1902-01-09

In the remark
ably t e Sc a n d
cogent "What Of
the Morrow" pub
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

Entered at the postofice at Nebraska City,
Neb., as Second Glass matter, July 20, 1893.
The Conservative, 1902-01-09
PUBLISHED WEEKLY.
OFFICES OVERLAND THEATRE BLOCK.
J. STERLING MORTON, EDITOR.

J. STERLING MORTON, EDITOR.
A JOURNAL DEVOTED TO THE DISCUSSION
OF POLITICAL ECONOMIC AND SOCIOLOGICAL
QUESTIONS.
CIRCULATION THIS WEEK, 1875 COPIES.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
One dollar and half per year in advance,
postpaid to any part of the United States or
Canada. Remittances made payable to The
Morton Printing Company.
Address, THE CONSERVATIVE, Nebraska
City, Nebraska.
Advertising rates made known upon appli-
cation.
Entered at the postofflce at Nebraska City,
Neb., as Second Glass matter, July 20, 1893.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1902-08-02
p1CN1cs AND FESTIVALS.

st. Johns Fete, Westminster, will close TINS
Saturday night
Taylorsville Sunday School win hold fes-
tiyal on the lawn Of the church Saturday
evening, August g. Refreshments will pc on
sale.
Messiah Lutheran Church Of Freedom !, dls-
trict, near Porter's, will hold ITS annual sun
day School celebration on saturday a'1er-
noon and evening, for the Denent OF me cnuren.
All are invited to come ana near tne SUNDAY
School work discussed by SPEAKERS 10 inc
afternoon. The pastor expects 70 return 70
the parsonage at bsrret, August Isl Com.