The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-09-07
FUN OF THE WORLD.

An Irishman whose face 50 plain that his friends
used tell him onense the landscape hap
pened also to be as he horney.
One day 3 neghbor met hsm and asked:
How you.
Mighty bad starvation that's starn' me
in the face
~Besorra~ exclaimed his neighsor synpathe,ically.
IL can't be very pleasant for either yez.~
sz <
The bell rang furously. a head adorned with
shaggy and unmanageable whiskers thrust
the chamber window. and a voice that fitted
inquired. who is it?
,Oh. is this Mr. Higgins a shriH the
shade OF the doorway below.
Yes
Please come to No. Il High just as quick
can and bring your instruments"
i amt doctor-Im a carpenter. DR.. Higgins lives
two doors below. and the window coming with
SIAM when Please. sir" said the little its
you Pa and is shut up in the fOdin bed
and we can't get them out.
gz <
He had enviable appetite for plain nutritious
food said MI G. W E Russell night. in his charm
ing discourse Gladstone at the Cambridge sum
meeting The word reminds me writes
pondent of luncheon party at Hawsrden Castle a
year before Gadstone's death. He then.
by medical orders simple diet indeed and while
others partook all OF dainty dishes he
his boiled fish and milk pudding without word sigh,
giving meanwhile of most delightful spark
ling monologues TO which Mr. Russell Hefers. Towards
the end meal however. noticed that Mr Glad
twice looked round somewhat furtvey TO see II the
behind his chair had departed When this event had
last taken place. the old with twinkle in his
went to the sideboard. himself substantial
OF the loaf helped himself plentiful supply
cheese. and while with dollhouse and
peaches the forbidden fruit with the relish OF
schoolboy
gs
The example OF the -.-.nois newspaper which has
begun the of the Bible a serial "a process that
will require about fifty recalls the Texas editor
who the Ten Commandments somewhere
and with their excellence he clipped
the passage and ii under the head OF Gems Of
Current Thought
zaz x
When the fretfu critic Cumberland said OF perform
ance of The school that ne surprised
that it evoked such immoderate laughter it did
him smile Sheridan. the Wit. orator and play
said have remarked: Cumberland Is truly
ungrateful tragedy OF his played fortnight
before Convent Garden, and laughed from beginning
end
Il q x x
Queen Victoria, her last trip to Italy visited
church Assist. where she met devout monk
who escorted her throush chilly corridor. His head
was shaven feel the draughts
the in the his order did His reply
in Italian. she expected but in perfect Eng
tnctured with Celtic brogue NO. madame. don't
suffer at all that You know. Irish hot
headed race"
x X
his Bridgeport Conn. P
I.
ed a show Queeriy marked cattle sacred cows.
elephant frequently the stock TO be noticed
n his fields occasion had elephant
gagged blowing the sloping hill where could be
plainly seen by the passengers the Haven
Hartford Railroad the newspapers all
the up. and result he received letter from
a farmer asking how much hay elephant and
IL profitable pillow with elephant than
with horses or replied tersey: yop have
large museum York and a great railroad sends
passengers eyeshot the perform
ance IT will pay. and pay we'll but II you have 10
such institution, then horses will prove
economical"
ga
An American thief named Arthur Robinson
All papers publish pictures OF the humorous Yam
kee'
Robinson appeared the Criminal Court and asked
that trial be postponed because his attorney
i'll and unable present. The Judge couldn't
grant request because postponements had
ready been allowed.
Have you confessed repeatedly that you sen
fenced in the United States for petit larceny that
stole this pockethook and struck the officer who
arrested your" queried the magistrate
Yes. Your Honor" Robinson replied.
Then what could your lawyer say your defense?''
demanded the Court
That's just what m curious 70 know the Yankee
said. grnnng
He got six months in jail
Z FER
public life noted for his brusqueness IN
speech informal discussion IN Cabinet circles
There's thing to be said in his favor. however"
said Secretary Wilson and importunes
the department to get promotions positions
friends
Root: he hasn't any