Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1902-05-24
A DROLL CHARACTER
MCOUNSeLOR" NOLAN WAS A WIT
OF THE NEW YORK BAR.
Some of the Quaint Sayings of This
Picturesque Legal Light, Who For
Years Kept GOthnm's Judges and
Lawyers Laughing.

In n book entitled "The Barrister
Charles Frederick Stansbury has
brought together the best of the anec-
dotes of Tom Nolan, who was known
popularity among members Of the New
York bar as counselor Nolan" For
many years the counselor kept judges
and lawyers of New York laughing,
and at political conventions he was one
of the important. if not serious attrac-
tons. The counselor was himself sui
generis. His drollery was individual.
Some characteristic stories from Mr..
Stansbury's collection are here set
down:
At a political convention a friend
asked Nolan:
isn't it strange, counselor, that
your friend Croker, who is such a
mighty power down your way, does not
get nice political job for himselfY'
The barrister drew himself up, look
ing his inQuisltor over from the corner
Of his eye. and then replied, with Sc
verify: "'Tis a peanut brain you have,
AIdICl, " QSh lhdAs 10 NASAN N''t'S
job he hasn't got?'
Judge Horace Russell told the follow
ing story: Nolan once had a client
whose name was Mrs. Morlarity. After
her case had been placed upon the
calendar Mrs. Moriarity appeared ev-
cry day in Nolan's Office with her elev-
en- witnesses. Finally the case reached
the top of the calendar. and Nolan was
on hand to try it. The opposing coun-
sci asked for a pOstpOnement. Nolan
fought the postponement with great
eloquence, laying much stress upon the
fact that Mrs Moriarity had been put
TO enormous trouble and expense Of
coming every day to his Office with her
eleven witnesses. Judge Dugro, who
was sitting, was not convinced APP
parently by Nolans perfervid oratory
and granted the adjournment Then
the barrister arose.
"Your honor" said he, "has seen fit
to grant a postponement Of the case,
and, while humbly submit to the rul-
ing Of the court. yet would like to ask
your honor TO do me personal favor"
Certainly. counselor, with pleasure"
replied Judge Dugro. what is it?'
go you to my office" Numbered the
barrister, land inform Mrs. Moriarity
that this case has been postponed"
Witty and keen as Nolan was. he
once in awhile got the worst OF an en-
counter with a witness, as the follow
ing incident illustrates:
The plaintiff. Mr.. Foley, was suing
Mr.. w. for damages sustained by care
lessness of defendant in allowing his
donkey to escape from his stable and
trespass upon plaintiffs lawn. Foley is
in the witness box.
Barrister Nolan 0or defendanb-You
say that Mr.. WIS animal caused all
this injury to your property?
Foley-Yes. scr.
Barrister-Where did you first see
this donkey?
Foley-Tied up in defendants stable.
Barrister-Where did you next see
him?
Foley-On me premises.
Barrister-How do you know it was
the same donkey?
Foley (emphatically)-If l saw yez
tied up in the sthable. don't yez sup
pose I'd know yez whin yez got loose?
The barrister excused Mr.. Foley.
1t was in the old superior court be-
fore Judge David McAdam and a jury.
and the barrister was trying case on
behalf of the plaintiff in a negligence
suit against the Twenty-third street
crosstown railroad. which was con
trolled by Jacob Sharp. who afterward
gave the name of doodle aldermen" to
the world. On rising to sum up on be-
half Of his client Nolan launched forth
into an attack upon Sharp, who had in
no manner appeared IN the case. Rails
ing his voice to pitch that could be
heard by citizens in the City Hall park.
he concluded his peroration as follows:
"And who, gintlemen Of the jury. Is
Jacob Sharp? l will tell you, gintle-
men. He is a man so lost to all his
sinse Of ethics and the rights Of man
that for the sake Of palthry prOspec
tive dividends be would run a railroad
up your spine and make ties out of
your RIBS
When the bar of the city Of New
York gave dinner at DelmOnicO'S in
honor OF former Justice Abra ham II.
Lawrence on his retirement from the
bench, one Of the remarks Nolan made
was:
There's Recorder Smyth. He's a
good Judge. Il fOne judge. but he
thinks livery man ought TO 20 to prison
at least vance"
Nolan on one occasion was q candi-
date for a municipal Office, and in the
course OF his canvass he asked wo-
man Of his acquaintance If she would
use her influence in obtaining for him
her husbands vote Sure. | will,
said the woman. Are we not ever
lastingly grateful to you ever since you
got my husband Off for stealing gum
mo, no. my dear woman" cried the
barrister, mot for stealing a gun, but
for the alleged stealing of gun"
ALLEGED be bothered" replied the
woman. Come up stairs and I'll show
you the gun"
Once arguing a case In behalf OF
clients who were sailors and while IN
the midst of an exhaustive display OF
nautical scholarship Nolan was inter
rupted by the court:
How comes 1t, counselor that you
possess such a vast knowledge OF the
seaT
Does your honor think" responded
Nolan, 'that came over In huckT
Recommending Coal
A promoter Of a recently discovered
coal mine in Rhode Island sent guam
tity Of the material to Professor - of