davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1902-01-19
General Grants Practical Joke: True War Story RANDOLPH

newspapers out here" Two draws and
a Duff.
What paper?" three pulls. staccato
and series of small circles of smoke
upon which he gazed approvingly.
THE Herald. New York"
"a great distance to get news. Why dc
you expect to get 1t here? Just finished
one job No smoke.
Talk and Tobacco.
General Grant is fighter. The coun-
try looks to him
at may be disappointed" A long pull
and vigorous pun.
Then it will be the first time. Well,
am here to send the news from General
Grants army, and should like to make
the acquaintance of the general"
IF you call in the morning l am quite
sure the general will see you. But
don't think you will get much news re-
moving his cigar and smiling benignly.
1T is not safe to be within the lines OF
this army without a pass. Look out for
that"
Thanking the soldier for his courtesy
and about departing, he spoke up:
There's only one hotel in town and that
is half hospital for wounded officers in
the recent fight. II you have any trouble
finding place come back and wen fix
you up"
The same night the writer met Gems.
John A. Logan, Dodge. Ransom, Crocker,
Colonels Stevenson. of Missouri; Grierson,
Leggett. a fighting Quaker; Belknap, and
a number of others who won their bars,
leaves. eagles, and stars under the
great captain"
''Have You Seen the GeneraI."
new coon in town could not have
been received with more hilarity. In
deed, all these newly found military
friends were solicitous in their insist
ent query: Have you seen the gen.
eral?' If not the countersign 1t was as
suredly the parole for the night. to which
the writer bitterly failed to catch On.
About midnight Mcpherson arriving
from the pursuit of Van Dorm. the writer
at once presented his epistle of intro
duction. The first enquiry was, Have
you seen the general?" He evidently had
reported. At the same time he suggest
ed, Don't wait for me. Go right up in the
morning"
Following his directions, the writer was
upon the scene early. Entering what, in
times of peace, was a front parlor,"
captain CRawlins), with a flowing black
beard and a loud voice, seated at an
officers camp desk on a table, laughing
ly remarked Have you seen the gen
eral?"
Being answered In the negative, he
added, walk right into the next room
We put on no style here" which was
apparent.
Passing through pair of folding doors.
partly open, at a table, writing, sat the
supposed orderly, who proved to be the
general" 1t was now evident that every
body mad seen the general" the night
before. except the writer.
After a smothered laugh. evidently
greatly enjoyed. In kindly tone tho
writer was invited to be seated.
In the conversation which followed the
general remarked that the results OF the
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

| bama wanted to show her appreciation OF
! his many successes, and SO presented him
with a seat in the House, on his fifty
second birthday.
Our ChIuncey's story.
| AS one reads the record of Chauncey
] Mitchell Depew. which constitutes the
longest sketch in the entire Directory, he
is made to feel that there is more truth
than poetry in the familiar saying that
some men are born great, some men
achieve greatness, and some have great
ness thrust upon them. A part of Our
Chauncey's" greatness was born with him,
part of it he achieved himself. and, as one
can clearly read between the lines of his
self written SKETCH some of it was rough
ly thrust upon him.
He is a great man, sure, for he declined
more greatness than ninety-nine men out
of every hundred ever inherited, won. or
had thrown at them. good part of his
sketch is devoted to telling of his con-
nec;ion with the railroads of New York.
and the rest OF it is divided between the
facts.
Then he tells of the honors he declined,
among which are the following: re-
nomination for Secretary of State for the
State of New York; the post of Minister
to Japan; resigned the county clerkship
OF Westminster county, N L., was ten
dered the United States Senatorship in
1855, but would not accept it. Then he
informs his readers that he has been the
orator on three great national and inter-
national occasions, and proceeds to tell
of his numerous successes as speaker.
1t was probably in the Directory that
he first confided the fact that he was mar
ried to Miss Palmer, for he says in his
sketch that he was married to Miss May
Palmer in December, 1901.
Six George WnshinGtons.
Some wag once said that If you wanted
to see a boy wind up in the police court
Just name him George Washington. A
glance at the Directory will, in large
measure, disprove this statement how
ever, for there are six full namesakes OF
the Father of his Country, and one who
wears his last name is in the Fifty-sev-
enth Congress.
Taken in the order in which they ap-
pear in the Directory. the first is a man
whose last name is that of one Presi-
dent, and his given name that of another.
He is the Hon. George Washington Tay-
lor, Democrat. Of Demopolis. Marengo
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

His term of service will expire March 8,
1907"
Greatness on Tap.
If the saying quoted above wcr@ borne
out by facts. then Representative Ariosto
Appling Wiley, of the Second district OF
Alabama, were the least among the witty
men of the House, for it takes more words
for him to tell what he has accomplished
in this world than any other member of
that body The admiration of him who
reads of the great things Mr.. Wiley has
done must be excited TO the profound
est degree.
Mr.. Wiley tells us that he graduated
from Emory and Henry College. in Vir-
ginia. Then he entered the profession or
law with an eminent jurist. eX-Chief JUS
tice Samuel F. Rice. At an early day Mr..
Wiley "essayed the management of the
many important causes. involving large
interests confded to the firm, with the
result that. though a young man, he
forged rapidly to the front rank of his
profession at bar noted for its great
ability"
Later he welded considerable infu-
ence in the Alabama Legislature, and
took leading and conspicuous part in
its doings. When the war with Spain
broke out Mr.. Wiley was one of the first
JOhnnes to get his gun, and he marched
to Cuba, where he started on another
career of distinction. He hurried with
his command to Santiago de Cuba, but,
poor fellow, he reached there after the
battle of San Juan, else there might have
been another hero OF that spot.
BenefnciOr of Cubans.
Shortly after arriving there was ap
pointed by General Lawton, commanding
that department. his chief legal adviser,
and was subsequently appointed to duty as
acting civil governor of Santiago; framed
constitution which gave great s.sis-
faction to the people of that province and
had a tendency to harmoniZe all discord-
ant elements amongst both the Spanish
and Cuban population; set in motion the
machinery of civil government, organ
lied the courts, and contributed greatly
to the restoration of law and order in the
eastern province of Cuba. For these serv-
ices General Lawton who was his per-
sonal friend. recommended Colonel WI
ley's appointment as n brigadier- general.
Yet in spite Of it all Celeael Wiley.
"who has a great fondnes5 ~ military
life," is still Colonel" w But Ala
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

will find It Is your card" he said to the
writer; and so. of course. 1t was.
He held the pack to four persons in
remember 1t. Then they were asked to
put them back and to select another card.
but not to look at it. This done:
mo. 1, look at yours-is it the one 1
gave you at flrst?'
NO." was the answer.
That's funny" he went on. "Oh. 1
guess No. 8 has yours
No. 8 did have No. is.
81 understand 1t now." Malini contin-
some confusion here. No. has No. Is;
No. 1 has No. 3's; No. 2 has No. AS, and
No. has No. 2's."
There was a showing Of hands and he
had called the turn exactly.
But all these tricks were simple in COM
parison with some Malini had yet to
show.
"Blindfold me-" he said.
Two handkerchiefs were produced and
tied so that it was an impossibility for
him to see.
-Four gentlemen each take a card he
continued.
Return them to the pack. That's right.
Now one of you shuttle them and make
three piles of the pack on the floor. Has
anyone pocketknife? Thank you.
Down on his knees went Malini and
stirred the cards into indescribable con-
fusion.
what card did No. take?" he asked.
1.-The four of clubs
The blade of the knife was struck
through card, which was held up to view.
1t was the four of clubs.
mo. %"
1.-The nine of spades"
Another card was stabbed and held to
view 1t was the nine of spades.
mo. 81"
1.-THE ten of hearts,
up came the ten of hearts bleeding
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

TINE Congressional Directory is not
the most uninteresting book that
i ever came from the Government
Printing Office by any means.
Besides being the Red Book" of the
official service of the United States, It
contains biographical sketches which are
of more than ordinary interest. 1t gives
the ordinary man Of the laity peep into
the lives of the statesmen who frame our
laws as they see themselves; and, some
times seeing others as they see them
selves, 1t is an interesting picture, even
if not always a true one.
There are many little things in these
autobiographic sketches that will amuse
as well as entertain.
Briefest Sketch of All.
Speaking about funny things calls to
mind the old saying that brevity is the
soul of wit. If that be true Congressman
Hay. of the Seventh District of Virginia,
is the wittiest member Of the House. In
less than thirty words he succeeds in
telling all about himself as a biographi-
cal sketch. II runs:
James Hay, Democrat, of Madison,
was elected to the Fifty-fifth and Fifty
sixth Congresses, and reelected to the
Fifty-seventh Congress, receiving 1920
votes to 1896 for H. NJ. Gibbens, Repub
lican."
And there it ends. He might have told
how he begun life as a teacher in the
"deestrict" school, saved his income,
studied law, and all the rest of a career
of a seIf-made man. for that is what
Mr. HAY Is. But besides being man of
few words he is man modest of
his own achievements. and hence he says
very little about himself.
ON the Senate side OF the big build
ing Senator Burton of the Sunilower
state follows Congressman Hay close
second in the matter Of the to-the point
ness of his sketch. He succeeds in tell
ing all he cares to give the public in two
lines and a half. 1t reads:
Joseph Ralph Burton. Republican, of
Abilene-.s elected to the United States
Sena. eceed Hon. Lucien Baker, Re-
pub baek his seat March 4. 1901.
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

operations around Corinth had not been
what he desired, but that he proposed to
advance at once into Mississippi. with
Vicksburg as the objective point of the
campaign.
This was news. Having obtained per-
mission to communicate the fact private
ly, for the information of Mr.. Bennett
and publicly as speculation" the
Herald" was the first to announce the
opening OF campaign in November
which ended In the surrender of that
stronghold on the following July 4, and
the opening of the Mississippi River from
Memphis to the Gulf, Port Hudson hav-
ing caritulated almost Immediately as q
result of the fall of Vicksburg.
The general often laughed over his
practical joke, but It was the beginning
of friendship which continued until the
curtain fell upon the last scene at Mount
McGregor.
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

from the cruel wound inflicted by MaIini's
knife.
mo. ~"
'"The four OF diamonds"
And the diamonds glistened on the point
OF the blade. And all this time Malini
was blindfolded.
Ma1ini held the cards behind him and
asked that one be taken from the pack.
Let me hold the hand which does not
contain the card?" he asked without
changing his position.
You have the Jack Of clubs" he said
promptly.
The card was revealed, and 1t was the
Jack of clubs
So much for the cards; but there were
other marvels to follow. Has anyone
lemon?" asked Malini. 1t so happened
that no one present happened to have
this useful article and a messenger was
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

A MONG the distinctive characters
~ tics of General Grant was the i'm
1 \ penetrable mask set by nature
upon his emotions, and the i'm
perturbable silence which attended every
activity Of his public career. He was alb
sorptive by instinct and a man of action
without words. He will always be known
to the world as the Silent" Even among
those deepest in his confidence he bore
out this attribute. Not from indifference,
but rather as an effect of the trend OF
his intellectual method. He was ever
close and observing listener. When sur
rounded by his generals exchanging opin-
ions he seldom gave utterance to the in
ner evolutions of his thoughts. That he
was keenly attentive TO what was pass
ing was only evident by results.
An incident illustrative of this fac
ulty, which puts the silent general in
new role, may be recalled.
After the evacuation Of Corinth in May,
1862, Halleck, who took possession of the
vacated works, was called to Washing
ton, leaving the command of the district
OF west Tennessee and northern Missis-
sippi to Grant. The disaster Of the second
Bull Run resulted in a movement Of Lee
into Maryland against Mcclellan and
Bragg into Kentucky against Buell.. The
Army OF the Potomac had fallen back to
cover Washington, Baltimore and Phila-
deIphia. The withdrawal of Thomas, by
orders tT5.a Washington, had thrown
Grant on the defensive, compelling him to
abandon the Memphis and Charleston
Railroad and take position at Bolivar on
the Mississippi Central. with Corinth as
an outpost At the same time he trans
ferred his headquarters TO Jackson as
more central point of railroad vantage,
from which to direct operations.
Neither Arrived on Time.
After series of minor movements,
particularly toward the Mississippi Cen
tral as feint. Van Dorm, in the first days
of October, threw his entire strength upon
Corinth in hope of crushing Rosecrans
before assistance could reach him, thus
securing that important strategic point
as a base for future operations. Antici
pating an attack, Grant hurriedly de-
spatched Mcpherson, his engineer OF rail-
ways, then assigned to a command in the
field, 10 reinforce Rosecrans. Hurlbut ad-
yanced toward Bolivar with the same OBJ
jective. Neither. however. arrived IN
time TO participate in the main engage
ment. Van Dorn's assault on the works
at Corinth was one of the most brilliant
and desperate events of the civil war, as
the dreadful carnage of the day demon
strated. The train of sanguinary events
which followed. uniformly successful, re-
vived the spirits Of the country, badly
shattered by the misfortunes on other
fields.
The President had sent from his own
hand congratulations to the victor Of
Donelson. McHenry. and Shiloh, which |
were conveyed in general orders to the |
men Of Illinois. Iowa. Missouri. Indiana, !
The Washington times., 1902-01-19
son addressed.

son addressed.
What was your card?" queried Malini.
The three of diamonds
We'll, isn't that the three of dia-
monds?" There had been no perceptible
movement Of the hand-it had remained
outstretched within half foot of the
eyes OF the man to whom he was talking
and yet the three of diamonds had taken
the place of the seven of clubs.
Take out any card you want" he said
to four of those present. That done. and
the cards being replaced and shufied by
one of the audience, they were returned
to Malini. He had not seen the faces
of the any of the cards. One Of them
dropped. accidentally it appeared. back
up on the floor.
When say three. pick it up, and you
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

to do that. What was your card, then?"
he suddenly enquired
''The seven of diamonds"
See what card is on the glass"
Everyone there felt sure that no other
card had been substituted during the con-
versation-in fact. Malini had not been
within four feet OF the glass-but there,
sure enough. the seven of diamonds lay
where the eight of clubs had been.
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

"Will you explain how you work these
wonders?" Maliui was asked.
NO; and if l did you would understand
less about some of them than you do now.
The blindfoId card performance. for in
stance, you could never comprehend"
ut strikes me-" yetured the writer.
that all your magic is simply an illus
tration of the old saying. The hand IL
quicker than the eye
Yes admitted the prestidigitateur
who did not seem inclined to be argu-
mentative; that's it
But that doesn't explain the blindfold
act"
NO" acquiesced the Austrian; cit
doesn't"
rs there anything besides your phi, ST.
cal dexterity that enters into the mat
ter?''
That's just what can't tell was al
ways handy with the cards, and when q
boy in Austria-a country where they are
not used By Iiagicians-I became expert
with them. There may be something in
the mind that helps me outflow can I
say?"
Gould you use your skill to advantage
in an ordinary card gamer"
Yes" was the laconic reply
do you play cards for gain much?"
NO, never. You can see why"
The only physical popularity noticeable
about Malini is his hands. They are very
small and possess a warm moisture that
suggests that there may be some secret
of his art concealed in them. But what
ever it is Malini apparently means that
it shall remain a secret. so far as he can
keen il So
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

| despatched. for one. Around the corner on
| Fourteenth Street was fruit stand pre-
| sided over by the regulation Roman Per-
| haps he was confederate of Maiini's.
Sherlock Holmes, indeed, might have de-
tected a nervousness that would have
damned him on the spot. but tie unso-
phisticated. unsleuth-Iike young man
who showed 3 cents toward him failed to
note this, but hurried back to Malini with
the lemon.
"A handkerchief. If you please?" s...a
the Austrian. Now SO bill"
They were, strange to say, promptly
produced.
Tear two OF the edges off the bill and
keep them. Now 1 place the bill in this
handkerchief and tie the handkerchief
You feel the handkerchief-the bill is
there, is it not?''
1t certainly seemed to be. You could
distinguish the peculiar feeling by which
paper money can be told without being
seen. The writer smelled of the hand
kerchief, and could have sworn that he
detected the odor OF filthy lucre, so re-
pugnant to the nostrils.
Your knife again." said Malini. IT
cut the lemon, So" Slowly the blade
sank through the skin and into the heart
of the lemon. Away down in the pulp
something greenish could be seen. He
dug down there and pulled out ten-dol-
lar bill. dripping with juice.
"Of course, this can't be the same
bill, you are saying to yourselves" con-
tinued Malini but let's see about that.
He picked up the handkerchief from the
table, united it, and 10, there was not SO
much as a fve-cent piece in sight. The
edges of the original bill were measured
to the corners of the one that had been
extracted from the lemon and they fitted
exactly.
MaIini picked up the pack OF cards once
more.
Draw one," he said, and then replaced
it.
"I1l now put the card you drew on top
of that glass over there"
He walked over to the desk and placed
the eight of clubs on the glass.
That's the card you selected he
added
TT is not, and can prove it by these
other gentlemen" declared the person
who had drawn the card with some
warmth. Furthermore, I'll bet You that
it is not my card"
Malini seemed perplexed.
Pardon me, if have made mistake"
he said. but you know We are all liable
The Washington times., 1902-01-19
By EDWARD E. COYLE.

TF A SHORT, stout man with a nose
that curves downward to meet his
i lips and lips that curve upward to
meet his nose should accost you on
the street and with much politeness say,
Excuse me while l bite a button off your
coat" take no offence. He may, to be
sure, bite the button off, and you will see
it hanging there by a thread, but in less
time than it takes to write this he will
have replaced it and made it more secure,
if anything, than before.
In addition, you will have had the sat
isfaction of meeting AIalini. OF course
you have never heard of Malini and
neither had anyone in Washington within
a week. He came to town unheralded,
dropped into a club here ard there and
now, as the press agent would put it, he
is ''the reigning sensation" But the
whole trouble with Malini is that he has
never had a press agent. Had he not
overlooked this little matter when he
came over here from Austria doaan
years or SO ago, he would be not less
celebrated in his line than was the elder
Hermann. When Malini landed in New
York he was only fifteen years old, but
he had a bunch of tricks with the playing
cards that caused Hermann, to whom ne
had letter OF introduction, to tremble for
his honors.
Don't go on the stage-keep clear Of
it, was the advice ef the famous presti-
digitateur. You'll make more money in
parlor entertainments"
There may have been a little of bust
ness mixed with this kindly counsel, but
Maiini followed the suggestion, and al
he certainly has achieved but a narrow
professional reputation. It has, there
fore, come about that Malini has never
been discovered" ard the object Of this
article is to tell plainly Just what he
does and to leave to the judgment OF
The reader whether O. not he is entitled
to rank with, if not go ahead OF, the
worlds foremost workers OF magic.
Malini's speciality is with cards. but
outside OF that al his performances are
marvellous, and few of them can be ex-
planned, except by himself, on any salts
factory grounds. And the most remark
able feature of his entertainment is that
he does these seemingly miraculous
things within a foot or two of you, and
without any artificial c3ntriyances, in
stead OF from the otter side OF the foot
lights and with the aid OF many-pocket ed
coats and other paraphernalia. At the re-
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

sure enough, the seven Of diamonds lay
where the eight of clubs had been.
An old sea captain had been leaning
back In his chair watching these per-
formances and Malinis eye fell upon him,
1t seemed to suggest something to him.
ii borrow two handkerchiefs, IL you
please" he began. Now tie them to-
gether in as hard a knot as you can
handing them to a newspaper man.
The retired sea captain began to take
an interest in this. 1t was in his line.
The handkerchiefs were handed back to
Malini. He didn't touch the knot. simpIv
gave two or three little tugs and the
nandkerchiefs came apart. The sea cap
tain edged forward and got hold of the
handkerchiefs. He tied them fndulgently
in what seemed to the spectators an in
tricate knot. Malini gave them couple
OF twists and turns and they were un-
done.
Let me have them again." roared the
captain, 'and I'll give you a knot that
Admiral Sampson taught me twenty-seven
years ago. III wager it'll floor you.''
Malini's hands did not touch the knot.
He tusged at either end OF the hand
kerchiefs and was apparently. in trouble.
I'm afraid you've got me this time,
captain he admitted
The sea dog laughed
That Sampson knot is famous every
where he said. Nobody ever been able
Excuse me- interrupted MalIni, but
suppose you tie another knot On top
Of this one
The captain gasped, but tied the knot.
Malini gave the handkerchiefs a few gen.
tie strokes, then tug and away they flew
apart.
The Washington times., 1902-01-19

Washington Stares Hard and Rubs Its
Eyes as Stout Little Wizard Per-
forms Seeming Miracles With the
rds--SuggestiOn: 1t Might Re
Well Not to Play Poker With Him.