The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-05-28
DEPARTMENTAL WORKERS
Interesting Gossip Cleaned Among Employees
of Government Bureaus.
A STORY ON LIFE AT POSTUM TROT N C.
Backwoods N-fatve Related By Special Pension Ex-
aminer-R Representative to the Circus at AsheviIe
Reports 10 His Constituents - Notes.


Office who travels through the noun
famous regions Of the South always
brings back a good story upon his oc-
casional visits to the bureau Last win
ter he was located in western North
Carolina, and made headquarters a. a
little hamlet bearing the euphonilus
name Of POssum TTot- Fossum Trot was
peaceful village, lar ssnoved from the
uaadding crowd, ard the inhabitants
were little troubled With the trials and
Fexations Of progress and civilization.
The center OF attraction for the village
was the one store, where z, in addition to
general stock of groceries. dry goods,
ana liquors, the weekly mail was hand
ed out
The stoTekeepeT was considered to be
the oracle OF the town by virtue of be-
ing much-tTaVeled man, having visited
Asheviile, Greensboro, and on one OC-
C2sion having gone as far as Charlotte
10 purchase a stock Of goods for the
Postum TTot emporium
This palace Of trade vas a one-storied
frame structure, measuring some 10 by
10 feet One morning Postum Trot
aWoke 10 ind the sides of this building
covered with flaming posters announc-
ing that on Tuesday next at AsheviIle
there would be an exhibition Of the
Worlds Greatest TITee-Ring Hippo
urome and Menagerie."
Postum Trot had never dreamed. much
less heard. OF such a thing, and various
were the comments Of the crowd as
they stared at the pictures of daring
acTobats, decollete ladies', and raging
lions
The whole population was in eagerness
10 80, but AshevilIe was thirty miles
away across the mountains. the roads
Dad, and, what was worse money was
scare A council OF war was held and a
decision reached that Il Possura Trot
collectively, was unable to view this
seventh wonder Of the world, the next
best thing 10 it would be to send a rep
resentatlve TO bring back to the noun
Ialns an account of the marveIs seen.
John Watts, the postmasteF-store
keeper-oracle, by reason Of his &C
ouaIEtance with the outside world. was
me unanimous choice OF the assembly.
Ou the afternoon preceding the day Of
The great show Watts, rfgged in his
sunday best rode out OF town amid the
cneeTs OF the entire population He ar
rived IN Asheville a little past midnight
ana vas at the railroad hours before the
HTsL wagon was rolled from the cars
All day he haunted the circus grounds
and not detail ESCAPED his keen ewes
from the planting of the center-poIe tc
the feeding of the elephants
POSTUM Trot had not been niggardlv
II her contributions toward defTaving
the expenses Of her sole representation,
and watts was not sparing in his dis
oursements. He saw the tatooed man
the snake chaTmeT, and the two-headed
Dsoy he ETavely Intercepted the
bearded lady and fed peanuts to the
monkeys he threw baseballs at the
head OF the Ethiopian, and incidentally
a few highballs into his interior deDart
ment. He stayed until the last tent pin
vas drawn and the last animal cage
loaded upon the cars. Possum Trot
must have its moneys worth
Not until the red lights on the rear
end OF the circus train disappeared
around the curve did Watts turn his
face hOmeward- He reached the village
about noon the next day, aid the inhabi-I
tants turned out en- masse TO -reIcorne
him He was conducted to the porch
II front Of his store, and. mounted 11Don
g barrel, he gave an account Of the i'm
poTtant mission with which he had been
entrusted by his towusmen Said he.
''Feller citizens, nabers. and yrfnr9ir
1 hev went and I hey returned. I bev
seed the ELEPHANT and heered the lion
roar; l hey viewed the armIess man
WITHIN with his toes, and the lady with
the Oo-contracteT wrapped Ground her
waist, but what beat en- all wuz the
hlpPepotermaus and the rinoserhoss.-
At TINS point village patriarch arose.
and the following colloquy took place.
John Watts, did ye see the sea ssr-
pent?"
Sea sarpent; what sea sarpeut2"
John Watts, I axed We did We see the
sea sarpent?''
No; how could I see a sea servant
when thar WIZ no sea sarpent thar"
nen, John Watts, ye air one Of the
oCrnoest liars IN North Caliny. Here
ye trapese on ter AshvfIIe. and s+av
nlgh on ter three whole days. and cum I
Dack with yer tales erbout hipperpoter-
nasseTs ana mediterranean which I.
critters amt Twin nor never aid live
'ceptn' IL be in yer mind when We a.
full OF corn juice, and when ye air axed /
. plain question erbout a sea sarnant /
ye 90 ter IyIn. and say ye AIM. seed il ., /
" nat DO ye s'pose the peepu of
Possun Trot sent ye ter AsheviIls fer
II II Wuz not ter bring back the truth /
the whole truth, and nuthin' bur the
TRUTH"
There are two messengers about the
Document room Of the Agricultural DO
partment who are among the Govern
ment's nest faithful servftors Orc e
an Irishman and The other an English
man. but they get aIcns finely. B5rb
are favorites Ct all the employees.
One OF the messengers Is James. Non
roe. a native OF England. who was an
pointed from Tennessee by Assistant
Secretary DabHey. during the last Claya-
land Administration. He was a qorfef
in Tennessee and was pur I'm -ba
Botanic Garden here. -Four years apo
he was badly hurt By street car and
lost an arm. and nc was transferred tn
the document room He is man OF all