The Newark journal., 1902-05-16
COL BOB iNGERS0LL
WRITES OF THE SITUATION AT
 THE CAPITAL OF HADES
Advises His Friends Not to Come Down Till Fall and Bring Only Some Very
 Light Clothing.

The following letter has been received from the late Gel. Bob lngersoll in regard to the situa- ton at the capital of Hades
 Bank of StiX, Shoel, May l-I will now endcavor to write the let ter 1 promised before leaving New York. Sam Jones inadvert- cdly told the truth, for, just as he predicted, and as 1 myself halt way expected, l am in Hades, Came through without a stop. 1 am sitting on hot cinder writing this letter on slate gou9ed from tine ceiling with my trindet. A
 'trindet," you know, is one of those funny looking little pitch forks like Neptune used 10 carry around with him at the sea side. Everybody has one and it makes d fellow think he's at populist convention.
 When 1 was on earth l didn't beleive in hell, for l had travelled through Kansas and couldn't be- leive there were two places so much alike. But l hadn't been here half d day till 1 believed in it a whole lot. Itis much more gen uine and realistic that 1 anticipat- ed, but 1 think l will like it when l get aclimated. Just now my feet are bliotered from walking on the hot pavement and 1 am dabbling them i'll the styX to cool them off i. 1 was talking to Moses a while ago, and he says they wall soon l get calloused and then 1 will be all hunkadory. He has read my Mistakes of Moses, " and laugh ingly admitted that he had made good many mistakes when he was new to the business. He Is a j0vill old cuss and 1 rather like him. Told me on the Gead-that he didn't write the Peutateucb, bat knows who did. There are lot os people here and strangers arrive daily. But 1 would not ad- wise you to come down till fall or winter and even then you needn t bring anything but a light summer suit. You won't need all over coat ol an umberdlIe or skates, bat you might bring palm leaf fan or two. For an amaginay, mythical, ti9utatiye, ellegoriC al !, unorthodoX hell this is the hottest one l eyer ran into. But say, 1 got here just ln the nick of tune to strike snap. Henry Ward Beecher had just retired on ac- count of age and 1 was appointed to succeed him as boss of the New York colony-the largest one here. 1 have a lovely new trindet with cute httle spear point businesses on the tines, and the devil has promised to get me il long red tail next week. He seems to have taken a fancy to me. There are ministers here of all denomination, and several camp meeting are ill progress down farther. Horace Greedy introdu- ced me to old Peter Cartwrl ght last night and we had d very pleasant chat. Have also shoo k hands with Tom Paine and Vol taire and found them very pleas ant gentlemen. Said they watch ed my career for some time and expected me every day.
 Ot course the trust is here "bigern Il chipmonk.' Solomon and Brigham Young have all the women cornered, but Roberts is expected soon and d lively fight will probably ensue. The poliii- cians are organizing to defeat the present administration and elect a new deyil. They want me to make the nominating speech
 You know 1 nominated Blaine for president once and did 1t ul in shape. Don't know who vii
 be the nominee. Jay Gould i, running we'll on account Of his money, and JGdas Iseariot and