The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-06-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

III u HAOlh NF Il H IA II "A
Still protest deep
Statutes the ear,
For talk is cheap;
But beef is dear
Chicago Post.
why do YOU refer to Shakespeare as
the immortal bard2" asked the friend.
Because answered Mr.. StOrmington
Barnes, so many actors whom | might
mention have vainly tried to Kill his
works. w ashington Star.
Two old-time darkies were engaged in a
discussion of death and its mysteries
when Uncle Nose said:
Reuben, does you b'lieve dat whin a
pusson dies dat he kin turn to dog er
chicken?''
We'll dunno" answered Reuben.
would you turn to er Chicken
Dat depends all togedder
An togedder on what2"
ION Whedder you lived in de nearabouts
er not. "-Philadelphia Times.
'I see that our friend, the politician,
We'll wellr' rejoined Senator Sorghum.
enough to indulge in such luxuries. =
Washington Star.
Necessity is the murder of convention
Invitation is the sincerest nattery- Wy ale
Record.
Now it's the world, the beef trust and
the devil.-Exchange.
A sentence was. once pronounced by a
Scotch judge with the following accom-
the man, and thereby take away his val
liable life. but We did push, thrust, or i'm
pei the lethal weapon through the belly
band of his regimental trousers, which
were the property Of his majesty. elias
gov Evening Times
our religion is largely in our wife's
name. We go to church to hear the mu-
sic.-The Philistine.
Butcher-wen, my little dear, an what
do you Want2
Little Dear-T' Amt wot Hi wants. Hi
wants d dimind dog collar, an bro m,
an perminint parse to the music all.
an a seat at the corinashun. But it ain t
she wants art a bound off the craggy
end of a neck O. mutton on the nod till
Monday--Ppnch.
Some natures noblemen'' there be
Who toll and are not understood;
And others boast a family tree
Who should forsooth be chopping wood!
Washington Star
But you must remember. dear that
you promised to love. honor and obey
your husband -
woman to love and honor man who al
ways insists on being obeyed- Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
Some of the candidates in Georgia
towns this year are frank enough 70 say
they want the office for the money that ;
in it. 1t seems they are only willing to
save the state now on salary.
Constitution.
one never hides blush nowadays. They
are too scarce--Life-
Gotham see the weather man has
struck it right in tonight's paper
Church-You don't mean it2
Yes; he says the weather q year ago
today was clear. " onkers statesman.
Many a man who wants neither poE-
erty nor riches is perfectly willing for the
other fellow to support him.-sxchanse.
THANK de Lawd. exclaimed a SILVER
ing codicils ii his will.-Brooklyn Life
dan three billiards. of now9'-Atlanta
| Constitution.
Miss Johns99n-;I t,ink r., we are jes' de
Her Fiance-Well, we VIII BE- Imam
jes' as long as we tink sO.-Judge.
when viii Mrs. Highblower De II
The New Maid-As soon as you We gone
ma. aIn.-Life-
s.Nv dear this is my friend Smiggins of
whom you have heard me speak"
Pm glad to meet you, Mr.. Smlgglns
You can hardly appreciate what con-
| venience your acquaintance IS to my nus
| band when he stays out later than ne
should s-Tit-Bits.
Vandeveer-Any difference between that
extra of yours and my earlier editlonI
inside Of your paper is printed in big, red
type on the outside of mine!-Puck
by the way. Billy, when does Easter
'o How SH' Should know? I'm not in So
ciety- Life.
Mrs. Finnigan-An' did yer husband in
| Joy the cilibration2
Mrs HOgan-NiVer a Dit Il INK aV az
thin whistles a-blowin', an no wurr1h
| to sthop+-Judge-
When money talks 1t must be SOUND
MISUNDERSTANDING
Remember. my boy,'' said the gentle
| sage that the worm viii turn at last
| ut has to, mister" answered the open
| faced youth with the Fishing pole ovei
fit the hook. "-Baltimore American
casey-cassidy says he feels sure h
Keliy-Th' diviil Has Moriarty hcke'
him SO many tonnes as thot?-Judge-
De reason so many preachers take va
cation IN summer time IS kaze dey think
de weather is hot enough ter speak Re
itsef.-Atlanta Constitution
Thine wuz.'' said the colored campaigi
worker. "a po man could sell his vote
off-han', fer a dollar OF two. but noN
you got ter go en- get a edeication Il
you kin even git 70 vote on de market
| atlanta Constitution
There is just one thing that is prove
by proverbs"
What Is that2'
1.-The fool is not a modern institution
| Ohio State Journal
The real proof of the pudding is in tn
state Of your stomach the morning a1te
, / you have eaten it.-Judge.
Some of our western contemporary
) have long editorials on Hell which IN
Chicago Record- Herald says has gone. OF
OF fashion, except in the rural district
4 until cold weather when we are STORM
; up for the plumber and the coal dealer
I The thermometer speaks for itself. Il