davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Carving the Turkey.

1t is real pleasure to follow the
skillful carving of fine, well'cooked
turkey. Here is mint from n chef as
to Just how it should be done. The
carver should place the fork firmly in
the breast, the neck end heing to the
left; then separate the two thigh joints
from the body, remove the wings at
the shoulder Joint, and slice the breast
down 10 the long wedge-shaped place
in the "emporer's muscle" Next re,
move the back, divide the legs and
thighs and serve. Remove the filling
with a spoon.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

Ny sister had a baby tooth which
needed pulling, and brother Charlie
aged five, said he would pull it for
her, which he did. Several days aft
erward the new tooth, which had just
pushed through the gum and could
be plainly seen, was discovered by
Charlie and he said:
"Why, that mean thing. l though'
I pulled it clear out, and here 1t Is
sprouting up again."-Cincinnati In
quirer.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
pity the Poor Ncighbors.

Mrs. Doolan-Only think, Mrs. Gro
gan, that great Pianapounder has
practised so har-rd at the pianny for
the lasht six months that he has par
aloysed two fingers.
Mrs. Grogan-Begorrah, that'snoth-
ing. Mrs. DooIan. Me daughter, Mary
Ann. has practiced so hard for the
lasht six months that shes paraioys ed
two piahnies.-Tit-Bits
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

Mrs. Ramshorn-will you remem-
Der to give Mary a good scolding to-
morrow morning before you go to
town?
Mr.. Ramshorn-A good scolding:
What for? What has she done now?
Mrs. Ramshorn-Oh. nothing. But
| am going to have the drawing-room
carps. up, and she win have to beat
jt. and she hits ever so much harder
when she's out of temporarily
Sloper
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Ignorant Nurse.

"Mater!" cried little Emerson Bos'
ting, may not amuse myself with
the viditequus?'
"Yes. You may permit him to do So
nurse"
But, what is it he wants, ma'am?
inquired the new nurse.
"The saw-horse, suppose you would
call it." said Mrs. Bosting. admirably
concealing her impatience at such -
norance.-Philadelphia Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Political Economy.

Trampng Tom-There goes one OF
the fellers that's responsible for half
our troubles.
Wayfaring William-Wot's he done?
Tramping Tom-He works every day
in tn year, 'cept Sundays, an earns
peoples money away from them. II
II wasn't for such feIlers as him, folks
~ have more money ter give US. -
N Y. Weekly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
what references have. you?-
Her Little Joke,

He had sprung so many gags at
her expense that she thought it time
to get even.
Henry" she exclaimed. as he came
home to dinner, 81 heard something
this morning that opened my eyes.
what was it?" he demanded, ex-
citedly.
"Why, the alarm clock, goose
Chicago Daily News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
She Got the Position.

"You see, if l engage you you Will
have to tell people sometimes that l
am out when l am at home, do you
understand" said the lady about to
engage a new maid.
Perfectly" said the applicant;
I'm not opposed to lying occasion
ally"
What references have your"
81 have n brother in the weather
bureau, ma'am."-Ionkers States
man.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
The RullnE PnHsIan

Doc.or-The patient is in fairv
of recovery now, and she NAV h,
anything she likes.
Husband-What would you IN
dear?
Patient-A looking-glass, pleas.
Ally SIoper.,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
when Hubby Has a Ch,

"About the only time some wor
ever give their husbands a chan |.
say anything" remarked the Obss,.'
of Events and Things" ''is when :,
are in front of a soda water foun,. !
Then she is willing to let him :.
'Whatl you have""-Yonkers S,,,s
man.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
The Modern Machiavelli.

"What is your opinion of oratory
in modern politics?'
''It may be made very useful an
swered Senator Sorghum. Very IRE
quentiy, for instance, good strong
speech against monopolies in gen
erul may divert suspicion from you
and enable you to do good turn foi
a corporation without risk or EN-
barra ssI Inc mt ."-Washirgton Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

The reporter was interviewing the
western millionaire.
as it true that you are going to
endow a chair in that university"
"Endow a chair" he thundered
"why, b'gosh, | can give whole set
o. furniture. an III do it, too. Say
that in yer paper. There amt moth
in cheap about me."-Baltimore Her
d Id
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

"I'll regulate the trusts" he said
Ere he had won she race;
When he was in he shook his head
And with a solemn face
Said: I'VE must move with care. b4~
'Tis wrong to get up special laws"
And then ne cropped The case.
Chicago Record-Herald
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Mere Mn tier of Curiosity.

81 dropped asleep in the hammock
and he came up and kissed me.
"Did he wake you up?'
"Of course; but | didn't let him know
it."
"Why not?"
"Oh, q mere matter of curiosity.
wanted to see fhe'd have nerve enough
to do it again. Post.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
The Language of Money.

Yeast-If money did actually talk,
what do you suppose it would say?"
Crimsonbeak - Good-byt - Iop-
kers Statesman.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Oh. Mnn ma!

"What, more money! See here.
young man. What has become of that
last five hundred gave you? Horses.
wine, clothes, WHAT"
mo, father, no. I've been playing
bridge with mother."-Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
An Estimate of Art.

"Have you ever written anything
that you were ashamed OFF," inquired
the severe relative.
NO" answered the author. but
hope to some day. need the money"
Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
His Mean Fling,

Hes such a young man to have
gray hair" she commented.
Eyes" he answered, land he isn't
married, either."-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
4 Cinch.

Wango-I don't understand how
Brown manages 10 look so prosper
Gus.
Gowan-Thats easy-his family are
ans.-Brooklyn Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

Ribbons in all colors Of the rain
bow, for old as wei! as young, for
maids, matrons and children, are
seen in as bewildering quantity as
in bewildering loveliness.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
ErlGid

"When 1 hear a man spoken OF es
having SAC. 200, 900 or s500o0, 900 in cold
cash." remarked Uncle Allen Sparks,
81 always wonder if he didn't get it by
freezing out his competitors.'-Chl-
cago Tribune.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

Does your wife fix up any fancy
dishes"
Lots of 'em. But, hang it all, you
can't cat painted violets and things,"l
philadelphia Bulletin. Y
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Too Late.

"Tll teach you to make love to my
daughter! !"
whats the use? She has already
taught me."-Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
such Digging i. Narrowing.

V bores who nudge our ribs, s1refend!
He's nothing but prig
Who thinks 10 cultivate a frienG
By giving him dig.
-phi,aGelph!a Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Eyerything In It's Own Place.

Ethel (coyly)-What pretty
mouth you have. 1t ought to be on a
girls face.
jack seldom miss an opportuni-
| ty.-Princcton Tiger.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
Abreast of the Times.

Winks-Why do you keep setting
your watch all the time?
Blinks-lm trying to make it agree
with the street clocks we see.- n. \.
Herald.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18

Wife (drearily)-Ah, me. IN.
Of chivslry are past.
Husband-What's the matte,
"Sir Walter Raleigh laid his -
on the ground for Queen Elj,'aS
to walk over, but you get mad s;,s
because poor, dear mother sat ~
on your hat."-N. Y. Weekly
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-12-18
wouldn't Ssnnd for n.

Wouldn't stand for II.
"You want a dive Now onw whas
charge?
THE charge is desertion, That man
of niue he wants to desert three times
day C va Americ"r
PR, '.,CiL kiNDshSS.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

characteristic story is told in con.
nectl9h with Nine, Calve. Shortly be
lore her last visit to Amcrco the
chaflhlns prima donna paid a visit to
hef df@ssnakcr in Paris. While dis.
cus@lh% COS ulncs with he head Of
.he establishment, which i, IA very
mrse one a couiuriore Acaitalingly en-
lered the apartment and Approached
the singer She came on behalf Of
hersef AMI fellow workers 10 hllnblv
crave no less favor than Il soug from
Nine. Calye, at the same time Offering
us an excuse for her PRESUMPTION fine
tact that hardly any Of them had ever
had the opportunity of hearing her
beautiful voice, Without more ado the
great singer proceeded to the work
room and, having assured herself that
no unauthorized intruders were pres
emf, sang a couple of pieces. to the I'M
restrained delight of her hearers. on
leaving she was accorded IN ovation
winch for spontancity probably ri
vailed any she has yet been accorded
during her brilliant career .ondop
Sunday Sun
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

Many people wear themselves out
needlessly. Their conscience is a ty,
rant. An exaggerated sense of duty.
says the London Doctor. leads many a
person to anxious. ceascless activity,
to be constantly doing something, over
punctual, never idle Il second of time,
scorn to rest. Such are in unconscious
nerve tension. They say they have ne
time to rest, they have so much to DO.
not thinking they are rapidly uniting
themselves for probably what would
have been their best and greatest work
In after years. Self control of nerve
force is the great lesson of health, and
therefore of life itself To understand
how to relax is to understand how to
strengthen nerves. Hearty laughter is
a source of relaxation, as are also all
high thoughts, as those of hope, beau
ty, trust or love- Relaxation is found
IN diversion.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

a lady missionary in Burma somt
lime ago gave the following account OF
how she was the innocent cause of The
worship of medicine bottles having
been instituted. In one of her tours
she came upon y village where cholera
was raging. Having with her n guam
tity of a famous pain killer. she went
from house to house administering the
remedy to these attacked and left n
number Of bottles to be used after she
had gone.
Returning to the village some months
subsequently she was met by the head
man of the community, who cheered
and delighted her by this Intelligence:
Teacher. we have come over to your
side. The medicine did us so much
good that we have accepted your god. d"
Overjoyed, at this news. she was con
Quoted to the house of her informant,
who, opening room, showed her the
pain killer bottles solemnly arranged
in row upon the shelf, and before
them the whole company Immediately
Frustrated themselves in worship.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16
Tammany's yOst Silent Man.

Few men in the world look less like
a politician. and particularly a Tam
many politician, than John +. Carroll,
the man who stirred up the row that
ousted Lewis Nixon from Tammany
leadership. In Tammany politics Car
roll was known as the "silcnt man"
He said even less than the taciturn
boss himself. He always went to big
conventions with Croker and stood on
guard at the door of the boss private
room when !p was not to be disturbed
Few men could get b. Carroll
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16
Ns;lnX Servants,

Servants in the Isle Of Man who re-
fuse to complete the period of service
for which they are engaged are liable
fore the magistrate at Peel recently
William Corlett, a farm laborer, was
charged with refusing to carry out
his engagement. 1t was sta ted that the
penalty provided by a statute Of 1868
IS that the servant is to be kept in
trison and allowed one cake and cup
of water per day until he returns to
service. Corett was spared this pun
ishment as the magistrate was salts
fed that he had not engaged to serve
a stated period.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

shipyard Charles Cramp usually keeps
his eyes on the ground as he walks
along, making comments and answer.
Ing questions. says Philadelphia pa.
per. If he sees a rusty bolt, he in
variably picks it up and carries it
not be wasted. If it happens to he his
own desk in the office, all right. If he
is interrupted before he reaches his
own desk, he puts the bolt on some
body else's desk. Sometimes Mr..
Cramp can be traced all over the yard
by his transitory collection of bolts.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16
(nuriCe ANA LUCK.

In con,blfug one thing is certain, ana
that is the very large percentage in
favor of the bank or the game. "a
nrice is the only law of chance, and
+bo results are as fanciful as they are
unanticipated.
One summer, the last of John Nor
rissev's life. a party from Washington
were making merry i'll the wlheroolh
of the clubhouse in Saratoga, among
whom WAS youthful attache OF inc
French embassy, says the brooNi! u
Earle Without remark this attache
suddenly rose. entered the playrooh'
and. going to a roulette taple' tosSc''
q hundred dollar bill on ten' oiach.
The dealer politely Informed him that
bo had exceeded the limit. Inc at
+,che was insistent Morrissey, saun'
+o,.inp mn nodded to the dealer 10 let
If 90. 1t won. Refusing TO acce.p'
chips. the attache gathered IN MS Wi,i.
ninrs and reioined his friends nun
on hour later he did the same thlls
ond was again successful. At frequent
intervals he repeated his trips lhVari"-
hlv winning. never once losing uh,il ne
had won 1880, when his frienos car
ried him off. .,.oa r. a
A he left Morrissey remarked 10 a
friend. 81 never take the limit on tnaI
Tho hank doesn't lose." Nevertneiess
there was profit on the nights pay
for the bank.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

The BARRIERS of long ago We're barber
surgeons, but the rapid advance of sur
gical science has caused them to fall
from their high estate. The gilt knob
at the end of the barber pole of today
represents a brass basin. which but a
few decades since was actually suS.
pended from the pole. The basin had
notch cut in it to fit the throat and
was used in lathering the customer
preparatory to shaving him. The pole
represents the staff held by the patient
who came to the barber surgeon to be
bled. The two spiral stripes painted
around it signify two bandages, one
for twisting around the arm previous
to the act of phlebotomy, or blood let
ting, the other for binding when the
operation was completed.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16
Retires on Account of Age,

Justice George Shiras, Jr., who is
said to be about to resign from the
bench of the supreme court on account
of age. is now threescore and ten. He
was appointed associate justice of the
United States supreme court on July
g. 1892, as the successor to Justice Jo-
seph T. Bradley. Associate Justice Shi-
ras was born in Allegheny county, Pa.
in 1882. After preparatory educa-
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16
Are You About
To Build?


If SO see that your builders
contract has a clause provid-
ing that the structure shall be
erected by UNION LABOR,
which will Insure you of good
work and a JOB completed
without delay.
Per order Union No. 4S1,
Carpenters and Joiners Of
America.
W. II. MEssER,
>EC'Y.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

Caldwc'l Edwards. the ropuIist
member from Montana probably coy
ers more ground when calnpa iGn.ng
than any other congressman. His state
contains 10000 square miles. and Mr..
Edwards has ridden. driven and
tr"lnpeI over almost every foot of
mountain. valley and plain.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

ton he entered Yale college and was
graduated with honor in the class of
SO, having for classmates Justices
Brewer and Brown and Chauncey Nj.
Depew. Returning to Pittsburg, he
studied law and was admitted to the
Allegheny county bar. AS his capacity
and experience developed Mr.. Shiras
became one of the most successful
lawyers in western Pennsylvania
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-09-16

Tbe place to buy Piows, Disc Hal
|ws Spring Tooth larro@s, Acme
Err9ws. Eclipse, King OF the Corn
(Id and Eureka Corn Planters, Key
(ne Weeders, Horse Rakes and Te,
Irs Moving Machines, Potatoes, II
ct anything in the line u Aglicu
|raI implements and Fertilizers is al
hWlGo 5foTcAsA woou DEA.Es,
If Summer Street, ana
H. North Seminary St., Barre, VI,
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04
EMPLOYS JAPANESE ONLY

Of course it is perfectly well-linown
to our leading members of the Repub-
lican party that one, Frank Andrade
by name, a candidate of the same par
ty for Representative in the Fourth
District, owns fine and valuable
piece of realty up in Manoa Valley.
and on it he is running dairy. But
what we are driving at and would like
to know if they know, and If they
don't. we will ask-whom is he en-
ploying on the dairy? If they cannot
answer it, and we don't think that they
will make try, we will undertake to
do it for them gratuitously. The
young man and lawyer employs moth
ing but Japanese, every mothers son
of them, even to the man who drives
the milk wagon and who delivers the
milk to customers. He has forgotten
those of his own kins, much less a
Hawaiian or white American. A
man has a perfect right to do as he
pleases with his own affairs and busi-
ness; but is it consistent with the pol
itcy of his party? We point this out
for the benefit of his countrymen and
of the mechanics resident in the dis
strict in which he is trying his luck at
running a race of popular favor for po-
litical honors. Hoop Ia!
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04
dead earnest

AS they will then have Crowned
him monarch of ALI by crowning
"him with many crowns" be it either
metal. roses or thorIs, he should then
do the grand for them. But how VIII
the President and the American peo-
pie think of such an event? 1t yet re-
mains for the Republican party in this
Territory to finish the fiasco and elect
their man, If they can and are able to
Go so successfully, but we very much
doubt it If they could Wilcox will rest
easy, nothing daunted nor worried, and
is assured of success and of reelection
to Congress, for it is certain that to
Washington he'll return with grander
laurels gained through and by the
assistance of the Democratic party ir
this Territory.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04
NO MORE SKIRTS IN COURT.

We must express our admiration and
appreciation for Judge De Bolt in the
stand recently taken by him to de-
rrive the halls of Justice with the
services and presence of women as
employees and exempt them from the
payrolls OF that Department. Their
sphere in the world is we'll marked out
for them by the Creator. and that is
where they should be. for each and ey'
cry one of us should be at his or her
proper calling in life. Petticoats nor
skirts should rustic in and about those
corridors, and we are glad to see that
our new judge has the right coneep,
tipn Of things proper and ttting. The
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04

days of match making" have gone
with ex-Judge Humphreys, as all the
young ladies then employed in and
about the Court during his tenure of
office have all since married, we think
that they have done wise by entering
upon their proper calling and within
their exact sphere and place in life, we
extend to all of them our best wishes
for such final consummation to their
ambitions of being in mems places, for
as long as they were there employed.
they were most aggravating and were
besides excruciatingly SO. And, fur
,-er, we wish them "requiescat in
pace" Tra-la, by-bye!
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04

There is no recognition of any royal
titles in the American Constitution, but
of course the. people fawn upon royalty,
their heiresses seek royalty and titled
husbands, they crawl upon their bellies
to royalty as they have heretofore done
here to our monarchs and chiefs and
are ever ready to do anything and
everything at the beck and call of roy
atty. And even more, they will stoop
to any level to gain a point. But of
course, all people are not alike.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04

But what have our Republican
friends and enemies done? They have
bitten the same bait that the Democrats
did at the last campaign. The argu-
ments used before, we may now say is
Just as applicable at this time as 1t was
then. What use have Americans for
titled person, and particularly patent
ed prince, unless it is to marry some OF
their, ,heiresses who are eager and will
ing to pay high for a titled husband.
But in this case, such an occurrence is
rot likely to happen nor is it anticipat-
ed as our princely candidate has al
ready been we'll mated.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04

This mornings Advertiser treats the
Home Rulers request for appoint
ments rather lightly and somewhat in
humorous vein. But it must be
borne in mind that the Governor is not
the only pebble" as far as appoint
ments are concerned. There is an.
other body, which the Republicans
may deem inconsequential, but it is
nevertheless mighty and is a power as
far as appointments are concerned,
and that is the Senate, which will be
endorsed by majority of the elector
ate. Mark ye WE'LL
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04

"By their innocence in thinking 1t
worth while" the Home Rulers pre-
sented to Governor Dole this morning
their request for certain appoint
ments to offices. AS far as Mr.. Testa
is concerned and knowing him as we
do, this endorsement by his Home
Rule friends has come to him unsought
for, and, further, it is a recognition
as well. But we think that the Home
Rulers have perfect right to be. as.
sertive, innocent thought they may be
to the might of the ponderous organ
Why should the whole hog" be entire.
ly left to the Republicans, to be forced
and asserted by Smith, Thurston &
Co.? Others have the same preroga.
tive to assert and assert it too with
much vigor as of right. The Republl-
can (sic) Governor may not choose to
obey this mandate from the predomi-
nant party, as he is at liberty to do as
he pleases, but there's time coming
1t will be seen that others have more
right to say In these matters.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1902-10-04

Some of the things we do know
they pleaded with him, they sought
him, they begged him, they humored
him, they quilted him, they fawned
upon him, and in all of which they have
succeeded admirably and wonderfully
well. They will now shower upon him
their fealty, their love, their admira-
ton, their esteem and their what-nots,
all to be turned against him If he
should fail of election. And that's the
kind of pudding they are made of, past
ingratitude being too well-known. Re-
member Commissioner Blount and the
homemade bread!