The age-herald., 1902-01-31
Alabama Will De Disappointed in the Matter of AppropriatioAs for Rivers

ever been anything like 1t in the great history of news gathering in this country.
 Mrs. Shaw and husband are one root. Tn missus han CT man hare cooin,n'." as the Cockney kitchen maid would say. They shore Is in rowt, in the language of their admiring dowans. And along with that wondrous bulletin which electrified Washington came the absorbingly inter- estlng statement that Mrs. Shaw's hus- band had taken the country into his con fidenee as to what he Is "wuth."
 Having struck a balance"--or A bip yellow Iowa pumpkln-"as to my worldly possessions" declares 'the next secretary of the treasury" q find that I am worth s12500O. This much I am led''-glad, he ought to inslst-'to say by the exagger- ated reports in the eastern papers about my wealth. which if uncorrected would lead people"-he means that Washington sassiety which has caused his good wife so much concern--"to expect me to live In a style I could not afford"-two horses and pink teas-"and to keep up which would send me back to Iowa"-horrors!- at the end of three years with all the savings of lifetime gone."-Worse hor- TOTS!
 Mrs Shaw has been evidently putting foolish notions in under the hayseed of her next secretary of the treasury. Say ings of lifetime"-one hundred and five and twenty thousand dollars-"goner' That man Is off his base. off his un-equi- librium, off his kerzook, off that balance he struck, and should come off his perchi In three years he will receive salary to the extent of $24OOO which added to the savings of lifetime will make $149OOO. Has Mrs. Shaw put 1t under his hayseed that style in Washington sassiety-two horses and pink teas-will necessarily cost nm Presidential salary? o shaw-tut, tut, tut
 however-as every Englishman says three hundred times in a three-minute's speech-Mrs. Leslie M. Shaw and the next secretary of the treasury are ong root and the rest Of; and we shall have the unequalled privilege of seeing good Mfs. Shaw undertaking something like the late Mrs. Partington's broom-and- ocean job, the reformation of Washing ton society. The directions in which she VIII bend her pious and strictly Denison. Iowa, efforts will be of absorbing. maybe abiding, interest; though just what there IS In this society needing reform is not apparent to those who are having the good and entirely harmless time which so- ciety so generously furnishes all who fol- low it's gracious behests; unless-great unless of great possbilities-Mrs. Shaw will import whole Light Brigade of young Iowa dancingmen, if there be any such in Iowa. Such Six Hundred could rush and thunder into the very jaws of joy. Half a block, half block. half A. piock onward, into the valley of beauty could dash the Six Hundred!
 That offers noble opportunity to both Mrs. Shaw and the next Secretary of the Treasury. Shades of Beau BrummeI. how we apples do swim!
 
 That illbred and vulgar form of vanity popularly called putting on airs" is abs horred wherever seen by all self-respect- ing Americans. No community is freq from 1t; but Washington gets more than its share, because the country generally unloads its swellheads on the Capital. As seen here this particular mixed breed Of vanity is sometimes very diverting. for when it strikes high up in official life 1t is most comical. The other night. for example, a certain amiable member of the cabinet stopped>to speak to some guests of the President in the East room of the White House. He beamed benign ly upon his interiors, and looking about and batting his waist he said: Even I never saw the East room look mora handsome"
 It wasn't so much what he said but the way he said it, you know. He spoke with an air of feeling.
 Why, goldurnit men, I come hers every day-I purt' nigh live here-'causs I'm in the cabinet''
 In adulation those of us to whom hs spoke murmured some few low and ten- der groans and crooked our tired knees as his august augustness passed on to res ceive the adulation of others of our hum- bie degree. It was all very, very touch. ing-quite too positively, utterly too tool
 LUCIEN JULIEN WALKER.
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