davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
INSTRUMENTATION.

The philadelphia North American"
has been getting excited over King
Edwards coronation. 1t goes so far
as TO say that the American people
are opposed to any official participa-
ton in the ceremonies incident to that
event, and IL moreover states that
the very existence of the American
Republic is denial of the right Of Ed
ward or any other man TO place
crown upon his head and pretend that
he is diyinely invested with power 10
rule his fellows"
The motive of this protest is to be
respected. for it is no doubt inspired
by genuine patriotism, but, really,
there seems NJ need of making the
American eagle squawk with quite so
much emphasis. 1t is in truth ex-
tremeiy difficult to say whether the
American people are, or are not, op-
posed TO any especial thing. because
the country Is a considerably large
one. and likely to contain a variety
of opinions on almost any question.
There is no doubt that if ANYBODY
were to attempt TO set King Edward
or anybody else up as king over us.
the American people would rise up
and resent il. but it is just as well to
recognize the fact that I'm England
the people do not i'm the least resent
his assumption Of power, and that if
they did. ne would not be king for
day The English people have a king
because they like It; and We have
president because we ike it. and that
is all that there is about it.
As for losing any sleep because en-
voys are sent 10 the coronation. no
body is thinking of doing that. Tt is
purely a matter of courtesy. The
coronation is a family affair Of the
English people, and we are interested
in it just as we are Interested i'm the
affairs of any of our other neighbors.
We may disagree pointedIy with the
politics of the man who live. across
the street, but that does not make it
necessary for MS TO refuse an invita-
tion 10 his daughters wedding. En-
gland and America are not fighting
each other tooth and nail. nor are
they hereditary enemies: and there is
not the least loss Of dignity involved
in our taking an interest in the af-
fairs of King Edward.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
KipIinE and His Critics.

There is an amusing side TO the
storm of comment aroused bv Mr..
Kipling's latest onslaught upon the
iusular Englishman, and IL probably
lies chiefly in the fact that many Of
his critics do not know exactly what
they are talking about. While excep-
tion might easily be taken 20 some of
the poets arguments, it is Just as
well not TO stultify ones self for the
sake Of abusing a MIN.
The truth is that Jhere are a good
many people in this country who are
out of sympathy with the general
sentiment Of this authors work. and
The same people eagerly seize every
opportunity to cTiticise the British
Empire Therefore, when one of their
pet aycrsions comes out with what
they conceive 10 be violent abuse Of
the other Of their pet avcrSions. It Is
hard for them TO tell what TO do
about IT,
For the benefit Of all those who.
having omitted 80 read the poem. are
eager 20 find fault with IL, II may be
stated that the argument is this.
HipiiUg takes the ground that the
regiments which have been sent ont
to the war i'm South Africa are made
nap Of unframed. Uudiscipliued. and
often dsnSeIy igno--.ut men. taken
raw from the street" and that their
oih-r-e are largely of the type which
is more devoted TO pink teas. polo.
and cricket than TO drill This way
Of doing things he bitterly condemns.
and argues that the demonstrating En-
glishman ought TO take some interest
i'm soldier-moking if he expects the
army 10 defend him; that be ought
not 20 shoe the soldier out Of the
way and belittle hin and then ex-
pect results. As for advocating com
Pulsory military service, in the sense
in which il exists on the Continent.
he does nothing Of the kind. lie
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
THE EVENING TIMES |
FRANK A. MUNSEY
NJ UNS E Y

merely points out the obvious fact
that regiments are not made in a day,
and that it is cruel 20 push raw street
boys, under Inexperienced leaders,
into a new country 90 do work which
trained and experienced soldiers
ought to do. There is no doubt that
if the power of England is to be
maintained, it must be. at present at
least. by keeping her army and navy
i'm the best possible condition; and
anybody can see that this is not done
when raw regiments have to be sent
out to do strong mems work. It is
no more than fair that the middle
class Briton, who profits most by the
protection of the frontier and the eX-
pausion of the empire, should take
an interest in the maintenance of that
empire, and that is all that the poem
really means. Incidentally, the per
sonal nature of some of the criti-
cisms is shown by invcctive hurled
upon Mr.. KiPling himself for not en-
listing as a soldier. The critics who
attack him on this ground overlook
the facts that a man who is unable to
see more than very short distance
without the aid of spcctacles is not
accepted as a recruit by any army in
the world, and that i'm serving as
war correspondent ever since the
trouble began he has come about as
near euIisting as he could with such
defect in his way.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
The Anti-scntimcntnI ,Iicrobe.

One of those anti-sentimentalists
who are. by and by. going to make
the world a most uncomfortable place
10 live in. has been attacking the
poetry of the old oallcu bucket He
explains that that bucket was fun Of
microbes. OF course, that is nothing
strange; everything is full of mi
crobes nowadays. and if one wished
to be impertinent one might add tat
the brains Of the scientists are nos
exceptions to the rule.
But ne does not stop there. He
goes on and describes them. Classics
them, tells where they came from and
what they do when they get a fair
chance. According to him. the human
system must have been. in the days
Of the old oaken bucket. q perfect
menagcrie Of microbes. The inhabi-
tants of the old-time farming village
would never have bothered TO 90 10
the circus if they could have had a
microscope and a magic lantern and
studied the miniature live stock on
their own farms.
The upshot seems TO be that we are
u great deal happier in these days
which we are glad to beIieve-and
that the farmer, instead Of being the
joyous and contented person deScrib-
ed in the poems, was really sick most
Of the time without knowing it. In
short, poetry is unscientifc, and so IS
romance; and microbe study is the
only way of getting at the truth.
II Is doubtless true that unsanitarv
appliances were used on the oId-fash-
Toned farm, and tha6 many of the
habits of the farmer. were not con
ducive TO health Some of them. for
example, were too much afraid Of
night air 10 ventilate their houses.
But the anti-micrObe enthusiast over
looks one plain fact. The old-time
farmer did not try 10 ',iH off his mi
croscopic assailants. lie exposed him
self 10 all of them impartiaIly and let
them fight it out. And by the survi-
val of the fittest he was saved.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
GENERAL GREEDY ON FILIPINOS.
One Thing About American Soldiers
They Don't Understand.

General A. ". Greedy, chief signal off,
Ger OF the United States army. addressed
the National Geographic Society last night
at National Rifles Armory on conditions
in the Philippines.
General Greedy brought forward the
point that there were very few FiIIpinos
who were educated He said that there
were about Eve thousand persons edu-
Gated out Of the nine million natives OF
the island. He said the Filipino lacked
progress
The speaker said. however. that an
American viii 90 10 the Philippines and
with all the push aud energy possible he
viii start OUT TO win his fortune but in
less than two years the climate there
viii take all tho vigOr out Of him. and he
Wiz become as lazy as the natives them
selves.
In speaking Of the American soldier in
the Philippines. General Greedy said
while I was talking soldier 10 an
officer of AguinaIdo's forces he said that
there was only one thing he could not
understand about the American soldier
When I asked him what il was that I
might be able to explain matters he said.
Whenever they get into a fight and begin
to receive yolley after voIley OF shot from
the enemy they keep running toward the
enemy instead of turning and running
from them. That's what we don't IN
derstandg
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Where His Civilization Ended.

You Americans" said the English
man. are so emotional The distinctive
characteristic Of an Englishman of the
better class is that he never shows feel
ing in whatever circumstances he NAV
be A long course Of evolution has
brought us to that point
Yes said the American. calmly. and
when you get evolved a little further you
VIII become as oysters, and not have
any feelings Dc you think that viii be
an Improvement o."
Sir exclaimed the other, getting red
in the face. and jumping out Of his
chair, do you mean to insult meg-.
Oh. no. said the American. saunter-
ing OF with a straw between his Inns.
Only l guess you won't reach the ovsfa-
point for awhile yet
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
TOO MUCH POKER PLAYING


MADISON. Wis. Jan. 1S.-As the result
Of poker playing among the students Of
the University Of Wisconsin the faculty
las stepped in and several OF the players
stand in immediate danger Of being sus-
pended The names Of a large number Of
students. several OF whom are athletes.
are in the hands Of a faculty investigat-
ing committee. which IS determined to
stop gambling iE the student quarters.
This year gambling among students has
become so prevalent that complaints are
made to the faculty.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Pennsylvania and Yale Universities
have encountered curious problem
Both are DESTROYS TO play football
hut neither viii ask the other to play
because IL would involve loss of dig
nityZT his is something like the con-
dition which might come about if the
advice OF that Western clergyman
were followed. and girls went into the
business of proposing marriage.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
ALONG THE SKIRMISH LINE.
NnturnI oh.tncIcs.

But" said the magazine editor. in a
worried manner. we have got to have
some photographs to ft that article Oh
skating. It's all ready but the pictures D"
Cant help that" said the kodak editor
stubbornly- 81 can't import a cold wave
and freeze up the river, just TO accom-
modetc you"
So they compromised by photographing
a roller skating rink. and the pictures
were so bad that the public never knew
the difference.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
KANSAS POOLROOM DECISION.
To Take Bets on Foreign RACE, Nj
Against Law.

KANSAS CITY. No. Jan. IS--Police
Judge Brumback in a written decision.
holds that the running Of a poaIrO0m
where bets we're taken on foreign horse
races is not in violation Of The city ordi-
nance against gambling.
The decision was rendered in the case
OF Charles Oldham. who was arrested for
conducting a pooIroom. and accepting
best on Louisville AID other Eastern
races He was discharged
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
lEnOu1iuTBWs.

The weary man in the street car changed
his weight from one hand 70 the other.
1T is the fuIfllment OF my fate" said
he. piously- When / was an infant a
gypsy proDhe5ied tha, I should die by
hanging. That never worried me much
nut ! didn't really suppose it meant dy-
.ng by hanging to a street car strap. or
It might have made more Impression"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Cleveland Plain DeaIcrl
Let US give Kentucky its due-not IT'S
mountain dew. either. Out Of its no
counties IS are dry, p have but one Iiguor
dealer each. and Il have two such dealers
each This isn't the Kentucky Of tradi-
ton and the paragraphers but Il will not
lose in popular appreciation on that ac-
count
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Representative LoudensIager OF New
Jersey. who Is member OF the Commit
tee on Naval Affairs. was q little late in
getting around TO the committee room the
other day. When ne went in and found the
committee in session he enquired what
had already been done.
Henry we have just taken vote. "
said Bob Cousins. and have unanimously
adopted a resolution favoring your cleo
tion TO the Senate from the state Of New
Jersey"
Mr.. Loudenslager threw MP his hands
dropped into a chair with "a tired look
on his face, and heaved a deep sigh
Handicapped again; just my luck" he
exclaimed at length why, DO ~ou know,
gentlemen of the committee. I wouldn't
have had you done this for anything
You've spoiled all my chances. Why. q.
hasn't been more than a week ago that
you voted unanimously TO send Charlie
Wheeler here. to the Senate from Ken
lucky. and Immediately the Legislature
Of that State went 10 work and chose Mr.
McCreary. Now, with this endorsement
what show do you think I have IN my
State"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
AmerIca,s Monte Carlo.

'tAilaleipLla Ledger.)
Another man has tried TO make great
fortune by getting control of the Chicago
gram market. and has JAILED as his pre-
aeceSsors did It serves him right. but
Lsre IS 10 reason 10 think that his rsto
VIII be warning 10 others A.erv rob
ABLY some other Spectator is IsviDg
plans 10 corner the market even no.
The Chicago Exchange is rapidly BEGUN
ing the Monte Carlo Of America.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Heroic Courage.


The Brooklyn Eagle" Joins the papers
that plead for simpler habits Of life
more marriages. larger families. and han
py homes. and says that less literary
nub-dub among women" will result IN
an increase Of the number Of proposals
and acceptarces. Il does take courage
10 propose 10 a member Of a woman s
literary club
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
The ways of Our Grandfathers.

What's the difference between being
learned aud being educated. anyhow"
We'll. SO far as I have been able TO see.
in old times people were learned because
they had learned something, nowadays
they're simply educated, and you never
know whether they know anything OF
not"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
A Practical View of II.

''vou should always" said the college
graduate. insuuctiveIy, on the high
est grounds
I'm. said his father. You can go up
Pitch Hill tomorrow and salt the sheep
It's goiu TO be good and windy, and I
don't banker to walk four mile. Glad 10
give you the job"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Light skirmishiuE.

rs Mr.. Softways a hard STUDENT
asked the girl, with apparent careless
ness.
Not exactly" said her college brother
He belongs 20 the cavalry"
The cavalry"
Yes; they get through the lines on
ponies
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Cumberland.
Admiral Edwin White. L. s. n. Mrs.
White, and Miss White have taken apsrt-
ments at the Portland.
Mr.. and Mrs. Allerton Jones. or Quebec.
Canada. are visiting the formers aunt
Mrs. Julia HosAins. OF Il Street northeast.
Mrs. stone. wife OF Governor William
A. stone, Of Pennsylvania, is stopping az
the Gordon.
pleasant evening was spent last
Thursday, when Miss Mae Convey enter
tanned social club and friends at her
home. 425 P Street After business tho
members all participated in several new
and novel thinking and guessing contests
inspired by the hostess. Dancing and re-
freshments followed.
DR.. and Mrs. Edward TrumbaH Ward
Of South and Central America. are Wis
iting Mrs. Julia Hastings, Of Columbia
Heights.
Mrs Takahira. wife Of the japanese
minister. viii not receive this afternoon
having 10 go TO New York with her hus-
band. who Is invited 20 the annual din
uer Of the Press Club Of that city. They
viii not return probably tiu the middle
OF next week.
SIrs. A. T. Hofheimer. Of Norfolk Va.
is visiting Mr.. and Alrs. Carl Auerbach
whore she viii be pleased TO see her
friends this afternoon
Miss Bessie King ScOvill. Of Cincinnati
end Miss Elizabeth Fisk. Of Coyington
KY are visiting their aunt Mrs Byron
Andrews, Of 1873 Park Street
Miss Jessie Marks is home from a years
stay with relatives in the West She will
return to Denver on February T.. and
while here win be pleased TO see her
friends
Mr.. aud Mrs. P. V. Delyran have re-
turned to Washington and VIII be located
during the winter at 1880 Vermont Ave
nue..
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
\ Pretty Safe Bet.


a woman has sued Uncle Russell SAGE.
now ciEhry-two years old. on what seems
90 be an old case or bIEhted affection.
We discourage bettinS on high moral
grounds. but II obliged 10 take chance
our money says she viii not get q cent.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
To Wake way for Americans

There are quite a number OF unnatural
lied foreigners employed in the depart-
ments at Washington and there is taIk of
legislation 90 put stop TO il. This seems
both just and proper. Those unwilling 10
become citizens of this country have no
right to expect to be retained in its en-
plOy-
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Comment has been created at Palm
Beach, Florida, by the fact that Ad-
miral Dewey and Joseph jefferson sat
on fence one day and talked for
half an hour. Washington is so well
used to persons Of fame and glory
that the two gentlemen might have
sat on any rail fence they could find
in this region and talked all day with
out its being known.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Gentlemen who have been cuItivatiDg
booms for the New York Senatorship. to
succeed Plat. are advised from Washing
ton to save themselves trouble. PIatt has
concluded 10 stick 20 the verify Of the
old adase about politicians.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Not an Expert.

40. said the blase man. .-i- Doesn't
pay to be good"
did you ever try If long emo Ugh to
see." asked the other man iucreduIousIy.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

The disappointment of some of the
men who had hoped 10 be chosen en-
vows to the coronation is tempered
more or less when they think how
they would look i'm court COSTUME.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Difficult Photography.

a wonder if they viii ever get the X
rays TO a point where they can photo
graph a persons Conscience"
If they do. some peoples cOnsclences
will look like a hole"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Inndenunte Expression.

Doesn't music express your emotions
asked the fair young girl earnestly
Some Of en-" replied her truthful
companion. But II il were to try to
express the way / feel when I'm mad it
wouldn't be music-just a bad noise"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
National Guard and Naval Reserve.


Both tine Guard and the naval reserve
should have more help from the Govern
mout in the way OF modern equipment and
instruction. but no attempt 20 deJreciate
their value should be sanctioned by Con
g.aEs
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

The reports of Minister WIS
speeches at the Clover Club iudina 70
that he was more nearly in clover
than some of those who tried to get
the better of him.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
A Matter of Course.


The denomination Of Senator Allison
OF Iowa for sixth consecutive term at
tracts about as much attention as the
revolving or the earth on It's axis. u is
something that's taken for granted
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

When Representative Gaines of r.pnos-
see was making his speech on the pension
bill in the house he made an invidious
comparison which apparently escaped no
tlce by many Of the members. Talking Of
the impossibility Of the American soldiers
living in the Philippines. because Of The
climatic conditions. Mr. Gaines said.
1T makes no difference whether you
send athletes or American citizens"
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Some fre-eatcrs go about with an
air Of having put the whole world i'm
their debt ON account OF the trouble
they have refrained from making.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
Getting Ready for Another world.

When the gods love man AMI want
him in a hurry they first make him
smoke anywhere from twelve 10 thirty
cigarettes day.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

King Edward was hate 20 the open
ing of Parliament, and drove out of
the palace gates buttoning his glove
Can it be that his Majesty, at the last
moment, had 10 poke his collar but
ton out from under the bureau2
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Representative RumpIe o. Iowa enjoys
a peculiar distinction. and nearly every
member has some distinctive peculiarly.
Mr. Rumple is the only new member Of
the House who has "a quadrupIe name.
When he writes 10 out in full b. is John
Nicholas William Rumple OF Ma-engo
Iowa, and IL occupies nearly FUN line
OF ordinary writing paper especially in
the bold John Hancock characters in
which Mr.. Rumple ST gns f.. As a matter
OF fact. there are but TWO other men IN
the house-and they are both old mem
berz-who have quadruple names. They
are James Knox Polk Hall OF Pennsylva-
MIA and by the James K. Polk" anyone
would know that he is a Democrat. and
the other is Samuel Willis Tucker Ian
ham, Democrat, Of Weatherford. Texas
Ninety per cent OF more OF the r1embers
have middle names. but thesr are the
only three who hslp 10 MI up the dlrecto-
ries with four.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Since the recent cataclysm in the
Census Office many of the clerks who
have been complaining of having to
work so hard are realizing that as
between a hard job and no Job. the
preference is decidedly 10 the former.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

The trouble with di~iutercsted peo-
PIE is apt to be that they are 80 often
uninterested as well.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18
PERSONAL NOTES ABOUT
WASHINGTON PEOPLE.

Mrs W B. Wood, widow Of Associate
Justice Wood, formerly CT the Supreme
Court has returned 20 Washington for
the winter and taken apartments at the
Cumberland
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Should any member of the House wish
TO know all there is to be learned about
horses. Representative D. Linn Gooch is
the man TO furnish the information. He
can tell thoroughbred the moment he
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-18

Representative Norton of Ohio tool,
some constituents 10 the last Prssfden-
tial reception at the White House. The
constituents asked DR.. Norton to show
them real. live. Tammany member o.
Congress. Norton looked about. but
could see none OF the New York cirv
members Sighting Representative VII
son and Fitzgerald. both Of Brooklyn. ne
called them over and introduced them ss
real TammuDyites-
Why they don't look like gambler, ~
demurely remarked the pretties. of the
Ohio constituency