Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-12-13

Hasn't that big, lazy boy Of yours got
a regular position YETI 70, yes, ~
deed What is it?' 'Recumbent. -
Philadelphia Press.
L.andlady-Wh portion Of the chick
en- would you like, Mr.. Newcomer!
Mr.. Newcomcr-Oh, half Of it will be
ample, thank yOu.-New York News.
eli, Bill. looi here | weighs four
pounds more'n your
law. y'r cheatin', Skinney. Youse got
y'r hans in y'r pockets. '-Baltimore
as this the cracked wheat. Jane?"
II dun know, mum. | amt looked at
it or tcched it; an if it's cracked, it wuz
cracked afore ] come here. New York
Observer.
First English Lord-Did you propose
to Miss Porkpacker? Second English
Lord-NO. TO her father. hate to
have any business dealings with wom-
an.-Life.
Willie-What did you see abroad, Ar
chic? Archie don't remember exact
~: but | did three countries more than
Reggie did in the same time.-Haryard
Lampoon
Il wish you had broken the news more
gently" sighed the editor, as the office
boy pied the first page by dropping the
form down a fight of stairs.-Baltimore
American.
Ethel-I'm afraid the coal strike has
affected Harry
Helen-What's the matter with him!
Ethel-Oh, he's grown so cold.-1 on
kers He'Gld
Snuffer-W What you want to do for your
cold is to take quininc.
Sniffer-Im sorry, old man, but there
are lat cures ahead of yours.-Ohio
State Journal.
"What is it, dear?"
WHY" faltcred the bride, at may be
all right, but this man sends Many hap
py returns of the day with his present
Detroit Free Press.
Customer emerging from bargain
Floor Walker-YOu will find the
crutch department, sir, on the fourth
floor in the rear.-TitBits.
81 hear you are going to marry old
Broadacres.'
Yes"
"For lands sake"
Eyes. '-Baltimore American.
She-You didn't stay long in London.
He-No. | couldn't stand it. Over
there everybody knew me for an Amer
lean right away. Here, in New York.
no one ever suspects it.-Smart Set
Their lamps were trimmed and burning
So we learn from ancient songs;
They kept them that way, doubtless,
Just to heat their curling tOngs.
New Orleans Times Democrat.
Cholly Softbrane-Yu-a Gavin make
meself understood in Fwench, doutcher-
know.
Beryl Blustockholmc- Really, Tho
English language is awfully deficient
isn't itI-Town Topics.
"Br'er Thomas say dis worl' amt
bright enough fer him.
i es: en- de trouble is. ever time he
look cross Jordan's stormy banks, he
sees dc next worl' blazin' "'-Atlanta Con
sututi0n.
Il don't expect bust in Westminster
abbey" said the youthful poet. mo,
replied the old man. THAT would be
too fur reachin'; jest keep on with the
writin' business, an you'll bust nearer
home,-Atlanta Constitution.
THAT Baltimore man who has a ma.
MIA for having himself buried alive might
be accommodated without any trouble.
what, buried alive
Sure; make him vice president of tn,
United States. baltimore Herald.
ALL RIGHT ANYWAY.
Mary's papa has a goat:
lie found 1t in the gutter.
Though pop is often out of bread,
lie always has the butter
indianapolis sun.
Mrs. Dearborn Which do You think i
the mckiest month to he married in:
Mrs. Wabash don't know Iv
tried April, May, June and July. and
think I'll try some other month mex
time.-E onkers Statesman.
The burglar swlped our golden clock
Our silVrrwAre he stole
Our jcwclry he took along,
And he purlolned the roll
Out OF our trousers, but thank God.
He failed to ind our coal.
New Orleans Harlequin.
ing her husband because he went out b,
tween the acts,
Mrs. Oldhand-~Nes. she hasn't bee
married long. evidently, or she'd hc sati
fled if he came in occasionally hctwee
the drinks.-phimdelph Record.
Oaker-Dohson. the young impression
list. has scored Il success beyond his fou,
est hopes Lake. am glad to hear i
How was it, Oaker He painted p
ture of Washington crossing the Dell
ware. and the committee thought it wa
ELIAS escape on the Brooklyn Lii
Patience He has such nice manner
patrice-What makes you think st
why, he was dancing with me, and 1
accidentally stepped on my foot" AN
he apologizedT' YES; he said if /
come TO his drug store he'd give me
box of corn plaSters. Workers State
man.
Bishop Wilhcrforce used to tgll >tol
Of greedy clergyman who, when ask,
TO say grace, looked anNiouSiy to see
there were champagne glasses ON Il
table. If there were he began: "Bount
full Jehovah" But if he saw ouly clar
u, 4 ,aXN