Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1902-06-12


portly man, and getting down on my
knees to look into that old oven
wasn't an easy thing. ! turned on the
gas and went for match. When !
came back anc crawled on my hands
and knees to light the jet-great
heavens.-an explosion occurred that
sent me half across the room. In the
middle OF 1t all heard that Internal
milk boiling over again.
The greatest of natures, when arous-
ed sometimes become terrible.
felt murderous. also felt des-
perate. | gradually approached that
oven again, assumed an attitude OF
prayer and put those biscuits in with
slam. was perspiring Il over. !
took off my tie and collar and looked
at my watch. It was half-past six. !
was to have dinner at six, and the TO-
matoes were not touched yet! wiped
them of, got the butcher knife and
began to peel them. for reflected !
had no time to waste in cooking them.
would eat those microbes alive.
Life at this crisis seemed Of little
worth, anyway. | had read some
where that tomatoes should be skin
ned, not peeled; but the more | tried to
skin those pesky things the more the
insdes came, too. A terrible express
sion came over my face. did not
know but my usually kind disposition
was ruined for life. but felt sure Of
the biscuits and the oyster SOUP
what remained Of it. "
Then l put the chops on the fire.
1t was about seven. The chops i'm
meGiately started to see II they could
not beat the soup, and sputtered and
blazed to such an extent that | felt
desperate. was watching them every
moment, when | thought aloud: by
Jove there are the biscuits: perhaps
| had better look at them" They
were all there. but somehow they
looked detected. While was finding
out from the cook book (Which i'm
mediately consulted. that ought to
have put baking powder Is them, the
smell of burned flesh made me rush to
the stove, only to find my chops black
and beyond rescue. | felt myself an
unfortunate man. began to humble
incoherently to myself. and l feared
that it was all going to work upon my
brain. With the astuteness that char
acterizes me. as distinguished from
my fellow men, gave up all efforts.
At this moment, because all hope was
lost and was on the lookout for mis-
fortune, cried out, Blamed II /
haven't forgotten the potatoes"
had the look of one Of the early
Christian martyrs. They too, had suf-
fered and loved and lost. Even the
invectives | had used were not sui
phurous enough.
went out into the shed and brought
back a pail. Into that scraped the
soup carefully. Next dumped in
the biscuit. Then gently put the to-
matoes and chops on top. This &C. ,
complished, passed hurriedly out in
to the back yard, stopping only to get
a shovel out of the woodshed. dug
a hole and tossed the whole thing in.
Then | meekly returned to the house
and RECALLED myself on some bread and
butter which | found in the pantry.
Just as | was doing this the clock
struck eight and Maria came home.
Hello, DEAR | cried, for was de-
termined to forestall any remarks.
I've been terribly busy, detained at
the office, and just got home"
"Oh Thaddeus," said Maria, regret
fully, "and you have been without
your dinner. | never should have left
you if"
By this time Maria hadi seen the
kitchen.
Maria said |, solemnly, for | saw
her pause, you have been invited to
join club for the subjugation of hus-
bands. You needn't join; | am SUBJ
jugated already. You women are al
ways talking of our sphere En-
croach on mans sphere if you will,
but for heavens sake don't ask me
again to encroach on yours"