davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
ATTRACTIVE sPors.


Davis, I. T.: The suggestion TINT rec
reation for the great outing meath Of
August can be had nearer home thAA
. thousand miles 10 well exemplihed N
this vicinity Of the Indian country.
Notwithstanding that the ChickasAw
nation is one OF the most thickly pop
ulated sections OF the south. there are
more accessible outing places than can.
be claimed by a majority Of localities.
To begin with, there is Sulphur, . town
Of some 1900 people, ten miles east,
consisting mainly OF hotels, bath
houses, restaurants and refreshment
stands. The medicinal qualities Of the
water from the cluster OF sulphur
springs around which the town is built
have caused the railroad to recognize
1t as a watering place, and excursion
rates are in effect from nearly all
points in Texas to that place. Tho
Gulf, Colorado and Santa Fe trains
connect with an efficient and accommo-
dating transfer line from Its depot In
Davis to the springs.
For those desiring more truly Ar
cadian vacation the Washita river,
which runs within half mile o.
Davis, stretches for miles north, west
and south of the town, through
densely wooded valley, in succession
Of mauve-colored rapids and eddytng
pools. The Arbuckle mountains are
six miles to the south and southwest,
while Turner'S, Prices Rock, Buck
horn, wildhorse and Eight Mile creeks
SO abound in attractive camping
places that it is only necessary to
locate one of the numerous springs
along the banks to decide on a place
to unharness the team and swing your
hammock.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Here,s a MathematicaI ProbIem.

A man went into hat store to buy
a hat, and the hat was 81. The man
paid in $40 bill. The halter had
no change and went out and got the
$40 bill changed and gave the man SIS
and the hat. The customer went away,
and the other storekeeper came and
told the hat man that the $40 was
bad, so the fiatler mad to make good
the counterfeit 500. How much did
the hat man lose besides the hat?
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
The Ineff;caey Of Words.

"The older l get," said Mr.. Biggins,
rehectively, "the more am inclined
to distrust conversation"
"'Have you been misled again?"
"Yes. I expected that the trusts
would be annihilated six weeks ago.
I have observed with sorrow that,
while there is much talk of putting
down the trusts, they never get put
down. On the other hand, the trusts
never say a word about putting up
prices. But the prices go up. just the
same"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
PIeasant for pjooJes.

"Mr. Diggles." said the boy with
big ruffles on his shoulders, Il wish
you would let me come and see where
you live; want to look at your
ROOM"
"Why, certainly. But what made
you think of that?'
my sister said it was better than
your company. so thought it must
be something fine"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
STIRRED THINGS UP


L
youth, dressed like . laborer, strolled
street about IL O'Clock last night and.
taking seat, ordered . cup Of cof-
fee and proceeded to look around in
. bored sort of way. says the Boston
Globe. There was the usual number
of young women and male loafers
sitting around the place, but every
thing was quiet, too quiet. apparently,
to suit the melancholy youth.
Some Of the patrons of the place
regarded him in . rather contemp'.u-
GUS manner because he wasn't as
we'll or as fiashily dressed as the MA
jority of the habitues of the place, tut
either to the other people in the
place or to their looking at him.
He gazed in an absent minded SORT
OF way at a peroxide beauty and an
anemone style of female opposite him,
and when the fat woman stuck up ner
nose at him-the- -Xoung man smiled
blandly, whereupon she looked away.
AS she did so, he reached into the
capacious pocket on the starboard
side of his sack coat and drew out q
little snake, which he dropped gently
to the floor. Then he resumed his
study of the ceiling.
The snake may have seen other
things in the room aside from the
fat woman opposite it, but it crawled
rapidly and directly toward the per-
oxide beauty's anemone friend, and
the lady of the embonpoint saw it
coming.
With a screech that scared the
head waiter she leaped on the frail
table in front of her. to the everlast-
ing ruination of that piece of furni-
ture. while the drug store blonde is
sued two whoops and, clutching her
skirts with both hands, bolted for the
door.
The other women in the place also
shrieked and shouted for the police,
and everybody else they could think
of, and then, with skirts held high
they made a mad rush for the exits.
They were pretty quick in getting
there, too, but not as quick as the
men who were in the place, as they
reached the door first and went down
the stairs three steps at a time, shout
ing for the police.
There was such crush at the door
when the women reached it that
there was a blockade, and the women
clutched and clawed at each other
until they finally got out. All but the
anemone lady, who was in dead faint
and needless Of the snake, which
was working its way around the
smoking parlor.
When the excited crowd got out in
the street they made such a racket
that people came running from all di-
rections under the impression that
there was a fire. Some policemen
came too, and they went upstairs
with clubs drawn, only to find that
one of the walters had regained his
nerve and had killed the snake by
stepping on it.
The fat woman was revived and
went away threatening to sue some
body for damages.
The melancholy youth who let
loose the snake lost himself in the
crowd and got away in safety, al.
though the vengeance of those who
run the Turkish parlor was solemnly
sworn against him,
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
A Few Conundrugmo.

w OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
The conundrum 10 one of the most
favored forms Of amusement for the
social circle. The answsr to this
style Of riddle generally contains q
pun, as may be seen in the following
examples:
What is that which you break II
you even name it? Answer-Silence.
Why are records brittle things? An
swer-Because they cannot be lowered
without breaking.
What sort of face does an auc-
tioneer like best? Answer-One that
III forbidding.
What is that which lives in the
winter, dies in the summer and grows
with it's roots upward? Answer-An
icicle.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Very Different.

Benham-1 believe a woman can
love two men at the same time.
Mrs. Benham-If she's a married
woman she has to try to.
Benham-What do you mean?
Mrs. Benham-She has to try to
love her husband. and he isn't the
same man when they have company
that he is when they haven't any.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Eleven.YearOid Soldiers.

An Illustration from French pa.
per shows bugler and two privates
of the Colombian army. The corre-
spondent who sent the photograph
declares that he did rot pick out the
smallest, but that he saw whole
company with no one in it older than
IL years and one of them was not yet
~.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Both Learned and Ignorant.

"Why is it that so few people seem
anxious to talk to Mr.. Carpington? He
seems well informed"
That's just the difficulty" an
swered Miss Dimpleton. Hes one of
those dreadful men who know enough
to correct your mistakes when you
quote the classics, and who don't
know enough not to do it."
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Similar Sounds.

Ethel" said Mrs. Subbubs, stern
", latter that young man had said
goodnight to you on the porch last
evening heard several sounds like
KISSES"
"Yes?" replied the girl. demurely.
"Oh! l know. What you heard was
the noise he made pulling his feet out
OF the mud as he walked down the
path"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
The Perversity Of Man.

Tess-She has finally convinced her
husband that golf playing is sinful, es
pecially on Sundays.
Jess-Why, l didn't know he ever
cared for the game.
Tess-He didn't That's the only
way she could get him to play with
her.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A German professor Of political
economy declares that Europe must
combine against the United States
That would suit us; we could get ut
them better If punched.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Young Willie K. Vanderbilt says
he's going to quit being an automobile
scorcher. He must know of some
other fast game that is less danger.
-ous.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

BY this time King Edward should
be we'll enough accustomed to his new
crown to leave it on the hatrack when
he goes in to dinner.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
One ADVANTAGE,

II should think it would be dread
fully annoying to live so near the
railroad"
"Oh, don't know. The screech of
the locomotive is most effective and
opportune sometimes when my wife
gets warmed up to dissertation on
my hortcomings.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A man in Topeka went to dentist
to have a tooth filled and robbed the
dentist of all his gold. Evidently the
dentist didn't properly kill the pa.
TENTS nerve.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
An Exception.

Curious man, that Binx."
What has he been doing?"
Nothing. It is what he refrains
from doing that makes him remark
able. He's just purchased residence
out Of town and never says a word
about being obliged to sleep under
blankets.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
And They Never Do II.

"He would be all right" said the
man who is always criticising others,
IF 1t weren't for his fearful habit of
mendacity."
II have always regarded him as
possessing the highest ideas of
honor"
"Yes. But he is one of those peo-
pie who are always announcing that
they are going to tell you the funniest
story you ever heard"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Those who have investigated the
Aoiseless mosquito say it is fully
equipped In all its business depart
ments.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The man who has bought Santos
Dumont's airship now has a chance
to get his news in the papers-and
maybe on a tombstone, too.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Only Those Who Knew Him.

Miss Maison: Excuse my ignor-
ance, but ought l to call you Mr..
Bones or DR.. Bones?"
The Doctor Grascibly): "Oh. call
me an old idiot"
Miss Maison: "Ah! but those are
only people who know you intim-
ately."
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The Fair relatives have been so
busy quarreling over the $1O,000,000
estate that they have had no time to
shed tears.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
His Trouble,

Burroughs---I should think you'd be
able to furnish moro comfortable
quarters for yourself than these.
Markley--I would if I had only not
furnished so many comfortable halves
and dollars for my friends.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Kept His WORD.

X ''Will you keep an eye ON my horse,
my son. while step in and get .
drink?"
Eyes, SIR"
Stranger goes in. gets his drink.
comes out, and finds his horse miss
Ing.
where is my horse, boy?"
He's run'd away, SIR"
Didn't I tell you to take care OF
him, you young scamp"
mo. sir; you told me to keep my
eye on him, and I did till he got clean
out Of sight,
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The steamship Snyg, Captain Wig,
has anchored in New York harbor, but
they are still looking for q name to
~ the sea serpent in the aquarium.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
A DANGEROUS Tie.

Strawber-Old man, I'm going to
take the fatal step tonight and pro.
pose to Miss Quillcutter.
Singerly-Are you going to do 1t in
that necktie?
Strawber-Why, yes. of course.
Singerly-Then if she says YES"
old fellow, you may be sure it is q
case of true love-
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Conscientious.

You told our summer boarders
that we never skim any of our milk"
said Farmer Corntossels wife in q
tone of gentle reproof.
II told 'em the truth" answered
Farmer Corntossel. I'VE buy it al
ready skinned from the dairyman.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
How He Knew.

She-That couple in front Of us
do You think they are married?
He-Yes. am sure they are. They
have been married long time, too.
Sho-Why, how do you know?
He-Have you noticed that when
. pretty girl comes ON the stage she
always hands the opera glasses over
to him?
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

It is said that the Chinese, although
. musical people, have no national air.
Mr.. Sousa should promptly remedy
this deficiency.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

No father of q 5-year-old will say
that the $4,000 just paid by 4 New
Jersey street railway company for
causing the loss of little girls hand
in trolley car accident was too
much.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
HeIpful,

Here's Housekeeper' bothering me
again." said the correspondence edi-
tor. "She wants to know how to keep
jars of preserves from getting moldy
on the top"
That's easy" replied the snake ed
itor. Tell her to turn them upside
down."
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Women are more ambitious in love
than men; not only do they wed the
heart, but they must share the
thoughts as well.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
For the Benefit Of cup;d.

Celia-"O. we had delightful time
at Ophelia's announcement party"
Delia-"What did you do?"
Celia-"She had us submit sealed
guesses as to the man she is en-
gagged to; the girl who guessed right
is to be maid of honor"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The refusal of the government to
give back to Spain artillery taken in
Cuba has created bad impression In
Madrid" Considerable anxiety will
be aroused throughout America when
this is generally known.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The king Of Sweden threw OF his
coat the other day and assisted IN
rescuing twenty-three persons from
drowning. He is the kind of king that
would have thrown off his crown had
he happened to have it on at the time.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A corn crop of fully 2,5O0,o0o.00o
bushels is now assured, thus making
certain that there will be enough corn
for making whisky, with . lot left for
those who prefer corn bread.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The crown that King Edward wore
for short time may be worth $4,500,a
900, but there is no question that SO.
cent hammock hat is much more COM
Portable
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Did he speak to you?"
1ime.to Quit.

"Yes," SAID the absent-minded man.
II have quit doing my own shaving.
1t really is dangerous"
"Nervous?" asked the barber.
"Oh, no. But yesterday l tried to
lather my face with the razor"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

One of the old settlers says Chicago
as derived from an Indian word mean
ing strong, Perhaps the Indians got
their first impression from the stock
yards.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A Japanese philanthropist is to the
fore with the discovery that the leaf
of the coffee plant. rolled in q cigar
ette and smoked, will produce an in.
tense dislike for tobacco. Smokers
should take warning.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

In Venezuela the rebels want to be
the government while and to Let the
other fellows be the rebels.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Dr.. Bourcart, the Swiss minister to
London, has refused to como to Wash
1ngton. It will now be necessary for
Washington to 60 to the mountain.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Experience has shown that it is pos
aiDle to organize trust so big that
one human brain can't manage it.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Looks That WAY.

''Why is it," said the self-conscious
young man who is to be married,
chat all the world loves lover?"
Perhaps" answered the coarse
and cynical person, lit is because pity
10 akin to love"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Much interest is displayed among
fhe brethren Of the road in the case of
th0> Itockport man who eats, drinks
and sleeps at one and the same time
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
He Had Been In Paris, Too.

He Had Been IN Paris, Too.
II see that Chauncey Depew isn't
feeling well and is homesick and has
the blues"
Where is he?"
I'm Paris"
"Oh. that's just the way I felt the
next morning"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

"Yes," said the beautiful girl, Il viii
marry you. but first you must make
name for yourself"
For myself?" muses. the suitor.
Rather should you say name for
you"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The latest combination naturally
1oads TO the inquiry, What shall the
harvester harvest be?"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

And poor old William Waldorf Astor
didn't even have a chance to stand
outside and hold the horses.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A leading American actress has
Just ordered fifteen wonderful Paris
gowns for the elevation Of the drama
next winter.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Halls Catarrh Cure
q constitutional cure. Price, 10

Work on foundation for the ways
oc which the new battleship Connecti-
cut Is to be built at the New York
navy yard will be started shortly, It 10
announced. 1t will be necessary to
drive 5000 piles, because Of the sandy
soil.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

= - yoasrs scon0nicAl = ssnaz1Ie1
the noighhOe.
II thought was" ruefully m
svered the householder.
Il was referring 10 jour porch
chairs" explained the neighbor. n
saw you painting them yonzseN tie
other day, ana that wAs ECONOMY,
wasn't jt?''
Il thought It was"
"Well, wasn't it!"
Not exactly. neglected 20 tell my
wife I'd done It and the job cost me
.one new gown in addition 70 the
paint"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
4oy-Like.

eoy-Like.
Mrs. Popley-"Gracious! Why is
Willie crying so?"
Mr.. Popley-"Oh, he wants the
earth"
Mrs. Popley-"Wants the earth?''
Mr.. Popley-"Yes, or at least that
portion of it that I'm trying to wash
of his hands and face"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A Philadelphia man has been asleep
ten days. Nothing like the profound
quiet Of that town to induce slumber.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The new '.inconspicuous" uniforms
Of our soldiers will not serve to make
their deeds of daring less noticeable.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

& the Bosr generals like to hear
shouting 1t them wait until they
sono 10 this country.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Commend US to the Paris Matin for
journalistic gallantry. The only thing
doing" in the world of continental
news, and the story killed a. the re.
quest Of q woman!
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A homely girl always believes =
man who says that pretty girls make
poor wives.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

# There Is q growing suspicion that
t1pee South American revolutionists
b't light fair. There is another sus.
elon that they don't hight ut al.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

It is but natural that the boarding
school girl would rather board than
keep house after she is married.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Djdn't Press the ouestion,

Female lawyer-How old are you?
Female witness-You know as we'll
as do that I'm just a week younger
than you are, but if necessary
Female lawyer (hastily)-NeveY
mind; it isn't necessary.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Blessed is the peacemaker-unless
he foolishly attempts to interfere in
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A speaking countenance is most ex
pressive when the mout his shut.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The boy who wants to be like Tracy
should seriously reflect whether he
would like to end like Tracy.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

After all, patience is about the high
est form of politeness.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Prominence.

"He's becoming quite prominent
citizen, isn't he?"
well. should say! Why, he can
get his picture in the papers without
having 10 be cured of something"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

o. aeco6d consideration the French
~ dscided not 70 have revolution
~ this time.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
A Trick With Fire.

To perform the trick it is merely
necessary to dip the handkerchief in
water, wiring it out-but not too dry
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Children are happy because they
have not learned the art Of being mis-.
cradle.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

When faith is lost and honor dies.
the man is dead.-Whittier.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

II there is anything ridiculous about
q wig it is the head It covers.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The poor girl thinks it's positively
wicked for a man to marry for money.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

One active cause Of a shrinkage In
values Is the assessors visit.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

The difference between a mouse ana
a bat is merely difference of a-pin.
ion.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Fortunate is the young man who
possesses full set Of good habits.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

= man would sather give his
N11s 11oose00 IL he had it) thsn 60
49,
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A woman's last word is either
cinch, q clinch or a breakaway.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Kept Ii Moving.

"Did any one ever read your writ.
ings?" asked the artist
"Certsinly!" responded the naughty
poet. every editor in the country
has read them"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

and sold her. later for Afteen dollars.
He now has flfty-five dollars loaned ct
10 per cent interest.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

the performer slips the rubber bald
from the cards, and is able to hand
the pack to the audience for examina-
tiOn
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

Marry in haste and repent in the
court room.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
His Warm Greetinn.

II saw that handsome MIR. Styles we
met at the ball, In his motor car, to.
day."
Did ne speak to you?"
'Yes, he shouted to me to look out
as I was crossing the street.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

saturate it with alcohol and apply a
nghted match to it.
The spirit will burn freely but the
wet handkerchief will not ignite.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

0ono fond mothers SPARE tAo ~
ana spoil the slipper.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
j that "A indication OF an

expert typewritist?"
"Oh, l didn't say she was an ex-
pert typeWritist. She's an expert
f1irt."
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20
Her Expertness.

''Is your typewriter an expert?"
..Ve|iGatheE:>, Why. she has the
4 afmoiihmore than half the
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

A boyH hsadacAe - always .wegoo
3ust about school dine. H X
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

lts easy 70 quit : habit you nevss
learned.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

~ - " ~ - y l1e (1igs \,
- ADneeisnsa - = Asslsl - /
Doattyo. s,s 311Ss siss SSH
The Jennings daily record., 1902-09-20

a$NsA
- q [G5z3sE 50 ~
.s,, y
s$s \ = "a
4! ||I !.[ l.. ~. ~ . :. ~
IN 81
kle1ooo oooan0 - regard
IN sss.. -. --. II ss'
n ~ "a - TO poor to own N
I 4 4 - escapes The danger o6 driv.
lsS n. :. NV
- s0nA would eather eve his
IL he had IT. than 60
& 1; s e.. -. Nv
q eecphd consideration the French
4 ~ 0ecldod not 70 have . revolution
1900 - ---.- - -- -----
me boar generals like to hear
sh0ut1ng aee them wait until they
--------
1he latest combination naturally
1eads % the inquiry, What shall the
harvester harvest be?"
In Venezuela the rebels want to be
the government while and to lot the
other fellows be the rebels.
-
should seriously reflect whether he
would like to end like Tracy.
-------------
And poor old William Waldorf Astor
outside and hold the horses.
$500 -----
Experience has shown that 1t is pos
atDle to organize a trust SO big that
-------
The new 'inconspicuous" uniforms
OF our soldiers will not serve to make
their deeds of daring less noticeable.
A philadelphia man has been asleep
ten days. Nothing like the profound
quiet OF that town to induce slumber.
Aoiseless mosquito say it is fully
equipped In all its business depart
----
The Fair relatives have been so
estate that they have had no time to
o0ed tears
ieadlns american actress mas
.a.. olqerea a., n11een ,e+, %onoellul .s rar's
~ -. g.. c,,. ,.,.
-,,,s,e., .oo.,s o.:a., -
- .
49,. sSs~:s p-o'' '
NJ %h,, 4,,. r, ua ,a
80 81, .,.,,,,, .a,,s..s - :.
.-.... =, ,o.,-s .. ~. ~ ,sa..a11 49,.
-. 80. =. ~ 49,.
-..,t,. .,.....
- .et ~. ,.r,s - ~ ....s s
-.rha .s.s.. 80 0
W 0' wv
v 1,,,,.. v,,u
W. ~ noo4e
,tha. 49,. ~. So
>'' - 'e'8 o%'Dee'
ono ~ +h,. ,1, so++1or, CO.. o,,,o.
a.. ao.;,,.a So, ,,ss
ths,r f,rst ,,,nrass;pn fron, ~ tha stoe,.. @