The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-05-09

5 M --- : - ,s[3 q ~.
Last words. Of a great man $50 few
done;, SO many to- do. ~ Chicago Trib-
une' e. ~. = + T..
He-1t is reported around town that.
we ARE engaged, Shells it.? what
idiotics: things people do say.-Somer-
vile Journal. <zs%;.= ~. r .$:41a ri
That dinner: Wasn't that dinner we
just had great?" Elegant! I don't
know when have felt so uncomfort-
able" Town and Country.
Aged Criminal (who has just got
life sentence)-Oh, ME lud, shall
never live to do it! Judge (sweetly)->
Never mind Do as much Of it as you
can!-Punch. t, .-' -
Sensible Folks.-Mrs. Van hyperion
Yes, my ancestors came over on the
AIayfower. Mrs. Suddenrich-How
foolish of them! Mine waited for
ten-day boat.-Broeklyn Life! :
Compliment Worthily: Won.-Angry
Guest-l've been waiting three-quar-
tiers Of an hour on that steak I or
dered! Waiter-You have an :uncom-
mon amount of patience, sir.-Boston
Post.
The Mother-Uncle Charles asked
the baby: what kind Of eyes it had.
The Father-Just as If the dear little
thing could tell him. well, she did.
She said goo, goo.' "-Yonkers States
man. .>".; '' IS
In Gentle spring:-"Paw," said little!
Johnny Askit, what does Kipaing>,
mean by 'f1anneled fools p "The folks
who take their fannels off before the
first Of May. my son."-Baltimore
American.
HE is satisfied; now that this is
hard, hard world why, he's rich.
and has everything he could wish for"
Il know, but he's been thrown out Of
his automobile several times lateiy."-
Philadelphia Press. !
Baccn-They never say in Boston
that child is born with a silver spoon
in it's mouth. Egbert-What do they
say, then? Bacoh-That it came into
the world with gold-rimmed eye-glass-
es.-Yonkers Statesman. g.:
A New One-Casey-Fifty dollars
Callahan has spint tryin' to git his
mother-in-law out av purgatory. DAILY
Fifty dollars?' Casey-Th' same! He
siz he wants to git her out before he
goes in if it kin be done!-Puck.
The Only Way.-"My wife generally
gives me a two-hour curtain lecture
when come home, but last night was
an exception" ""Then she shut up?"
"No, the e; ',t.s up. 1t was of the
foldinG Chicago News. -. :
~"Do cOfeeY asked the
doctor OF all patient. "Yes," was
the reply. Coffee" continued the M.
D., lis slow poison" eyes, very
Slow" replied the old man; 1--WE taken
it daily for nearly eighty years. Tit
Bits
She--Tell me, frankly, George, if you
were a rich man do you think you
would ask me to marry you? Hell
don't think it would be necessary,
Edith; in that case, you would prob
ably do the asking.-Boston Tran
script.
$50, you remember me ): all these
years! You must have wonderful
memory for faces" ~Weary-It amt
dat exactly. but I remember dat plug.
ged counterfeit Canadian dime youse
Civ me. Now make good!-New York
Journal.
Casey's Truisms.-Denn!s-'Ti til
ear-rly bur-rd gets TIL wur-rm. Misther
Casey. Casey-'Tis thot. If ye wa-ant
to keep yere head above wather. these
days, We ca-an't let tn grass grow un-
der yere feet, Misther pinnis.-Detroit
Free Press. ..~>:..- -.
did you call that rust magnate to:
the stand?" Il did," answered the man
who was conducting the investigation.
81 suppose he added a great deal to
the interest of the case?" "He did. 1t
is now more mysterious than ever
Washington Star. :-><: ::
The Secret.-"HOW does 1t come you
write such lovely dialect verse;" asked
the enthusiastic editor. "Why, you
see," replied the budding author. Il
use stub pen, lots of.ink, and write
left-handed with my eyes blindfolded."
Ohio State Journal:
Hostess-O, do, Mr.. Basseau, oblige
Us with just one more song. The Sing
er-Really. Mrs. .Footenit, I'm afraid
at this late hour might disturb the
neighbours. Hostess-Never mind; they
have bowling dog that disturbs us at
night very often.-Philadelphia Press.
In Court "What an awful looking
villain the prisoner, isy' whispered a
lady in the police court to her ;hus-
band; II should. be afraid even TO
stand near .himw Hush, warned her
husband, .":+the prisoher hasn't: been
brought in yet That's bis lawyer."--.
Tit Bits. ,..... 49,,
The Social Lion.-Smithson (the cele-.
brated poet, novelist, playwright, etc.)
Aon o,,,> II H. Yiruanlf,,.