The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-10-12

From London Tit-Bits.
Il Is one OF the most common and an
noying experiences in life TO discover. when
il Is too late. what n smart retort one
could have made II one had only thought of
Il IN time
AS a specimen OF ready wit It would be
difficult TO beat the retort OF Charles Bur
leigh. the great opponent OF the slave trade.
He was IN the middle OF one OF his eloquent
denunciations OF slavery when a well-ained
and very rotten egg struck him fun in the
fsce.
This he said. calmly. as he produced
his handkerchief and wiped his face, Is a
striking evidence % what I have always
maintained. that pro-siavery arguments are
u~nsound-"
The late IL. John Bright was frequently
very happy in repartee- Once. in the course
OF a speech which was punctuated by In
t~erruptions. he was saying. Personally. 7
do not feel disposed 10 wage war against
these Philistines" when an unruly member
OF his audience shouted. "Hee-haw!' IF.
however" Mr. Bright continued. without
pause. my friend at the back OF the hall
will lend ne one Of his Jaws I shall be en-
couraged 20 reconsider my attitude. IN view
OF the historic success OF Samson when pro-
vided with = similar weapon"
This reminds one OF a somewhat EiniIa-
happy retort by another politician whose
speech was constantly interrupted BY cries
Of Speak up Louder" from one Of his
audience.
Fixing his eye on the offender. the eandi-
date said. calmly and impressively: Il do
not propose TO raise my voice. because /
think the ears OF the gentleman who inter
rupts me are quite long enough TO hear,
even at that distance"
A good example OF the witty answer that
> turns away wrath was furnished bv TIRE
Able de Voiselon. who had been uufortu-
7 nate enough 10 offend the great Condo and
I 10 lose hNN FnEnE II
court to make his peace with the oTsn5eI
on him ~ "~
Thank heaven. SIR" the abb exclaimed
1 nave been mis!nformed; your HIrhness
49, hot treat me as II I were an enemy"
manded- oS
because. sir" nswere the able. .vour
envy"
The great Duke Of wellington answered
similar insult With equal. II more crush
ing. eieverness- When the French King IN
troduced one OF his Field Afarshals TO Wei
HhSton. The Field Marshal turned his back
on MS former enemy and conqueror Louis
Phinpp was naturally indignant. and apoI-
osized to the Duke for such rude behavior.
Pray forgive him sire" the Iron Duke
SAID. quietly: Il am afraid Il was I who
taught him TO do that in the Peninsula"
NJ Grevy. the French President. once ex-
tricated himself from a predicament with
wonderful presence OF mind. He was being
conducted round the saloon BY an eminent
artist when he saw a painting which dis
pleased him
HT, "0S
In picture. II. le President" said his
e~ieerone. is my own work"
"Ah" said the President, without any
sign OF embarrassment at his awkward mis-
take. In our country. when we particularly
wish TO purchase a thing. We always begin
By running II down: and. true 10 his part.
ne purchased the offending painting there
and then.
The late Sir Frank lockwood had few 1-
periors in the art OF repartee. The genial
lawyer was 4 tall man. and for some rea-
son. not altogether transparent. an unruly
member OF his audience once called out 20
him in the middle OF his speech. Go II.
telescope"
My friend Is mistaken in applying that
term to me-" Sir Frank quietly said: he
ought to claim II Tor himself. FOR. though he
cannot draw me out. I think I can both
see through him and shut him up"
on another occasion one OF his political
opponents rudeiy calIsd out In the middle
OF n speech. All lawyers are rogues"
7 am glad" Sir Frank politely reJolned.
ito greet this gentleman as a member OF
my profession. but he need not proclaim
our shortcomings TO the world"
Equally prompt and happy was the retort
OF n youthful looking member OF Pariia-