Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1902-09-09
Do ALL BABIES LOOK ALIKE,

gress and have no selfish ends in view, |
we cannot help taking an interest IN pa
bies. There is something so weirdly mys-
terious. so blinkingly knowing and so
blandly cunning about these rotund visl-
tors from the land Of nowhere, that we
always stop to examine them-that is,
from safe distance. They fascinate us
Just as monkeys fascinate colored peo-
pie. We feel that they are some kin to
us, and yet we can't help regarding them
as suspicious characters. The very look
of innocence they have is studied, and
when. toothless smile ripples across their
rosy gu1rlr. we don't know whether it is
a sign of satisfaction or contempt.
Babies write no autobiographies, SO
there is no knowing their thoughts More
over, if you undertake to study ones
ways, he'll cease to be baby before
you procure your data. Even IT you were
lucky enough to make some Roadway in
your psychological investigations the
never ceasing arrival of other babies
would be apt to distract your attention
Indeed, babies are like law books-there's
no end to 'enl. And each is volume IN
itself-a volume less understandable than
the awfulest legal technicalities. True,
they are not bound in sheepskin, but
there's as much resemblance between the
whole precious bunch Of them all as there
is between a case of legal tones. And
sometimes they cause as much trouble
as the class of literature to which we
refer.
It is this business Of telling them apart
which always thwarts us when we try to
be pleasant. But we would be willing to
accept them as an unidentified, homogen-
Gus mass, were it not for their parents
The latter always want us to say whom
they "favCr"-whether they are like their
father or their mother. Mendacity can
not help US in such cases; diplomacy can
not save us on such occasions, nor can
evasive remarks avoid this crucial test
of our regard for the family. And so
every time a new baby arrives-and, by
the way, there's pretty rapid schedule
these days-we arc embarrassed.
Truth to tell, we had about reached the
| conclusion that all babies look alike, but
! a startling story from West Madison, Ill,
| convinces us that there are ways of tell
| ing babies apart. In this case, Mrs.
Katherine Langdeau Shelton figured is
| the little Buttercup, who mixed those
i babies up" Mrs. Shelton is the grand
| mother, and the two gelatinous young
| che &c Iii cto6
| slippers, skull caps, ETC., arrived within
| a few minutes Of each other. They were
| the offspring of Mrs. Shelton's two daugh-
| tiers. One of the babies was a boy and
| the other a girl.
| So great was the confusion incident to
! their advent that the unfortunate grand
| mother lost her head-in a word, she for
got to which of the two mothers the re-
! spective infants belonged. Nor could the
mothers assist her. They were for the
none unable to offer any practical sug-
| gestions leading to the Identification of
the badly mixed cousins. Great was the
! confusion at first; then the grandmother
hit upon what she thought was a very
wise solution Of the problem. To the
daughter who already had a boy she
gave the baby girl, and vice versa. Fear
ing, however, that this arrangement
might still be wrong, it was decided to
draw lots The mother possessed of the
boy prayed to win the girl, and the one
already possessing a girl prayed to win
the boy. Cards We're prepared, one being
prayers of the mothers were answered.
| Now, in poetry or romance this happy
finale would have ended things. But not
so in real life, for the word baby is syno-
nym Of trouble.
Five Gays afterward the mother to
whose lot had fallen the girl suddenly dis
covered the resemblance between the
other child, then in her sisters arms, and
her own husband. She dropped the spu-
rious infant forthwith, calling out
Laura. give me my child: you have my
child
A little later all the women in the neigh
! borhood confirmed the young mother in
her conjectures, and now the discerning
parent has two girls, while the other sis
E .
ter has two boys.
/ But how, did that discerning mother dc
it, we spiteously ask? How could she tell
that her baby favored its pa? What were
the points of similarity 1t has no hair
like its pa-no whiskers. eyebrows, O,
moustache. It has no teeth and if it's
like most infants in its appearance, 1t has
no character In its face, in fact. nothing
but rotundity and chubbiness and hea
bumps, and strange, weird, impenetra
BILE air of wisdom and slyness. The other
baby must have looked the same way
too, and yet that mother knew her child
favored its pa. How, o! how, we say
did she know it? The secret would be
worth millions to US.
Il ===-==
{ THE sUBTERRANEAN5 PASSAGE.
Judge Duke Denies That Jefferson
Used 1t to Escape from Monticello