davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
ABSORPTION.

Miss Birdie" said the young finan-
cier, edging a little nearer, Il believe
you and l would make a sire Ng COM
bination if we were TOTO merge, "s it
were"
And they subsequently merged
Chicago Tribune.
ASSUMPTION.
"It doesn't take much to make some
people conceited."
What now?"
"Why since the village blacksmith
learned how to mend automobiles he
calls himself a Observation-Disclosures
go News.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
TO YERAcITY.

"Whylon't you try to amount to
sometime
Lady answered Meandering Mike,
I'm a wtim to me principles"
You nan to tell me that you're a
martyr"
SIN a WI. l allus speak de truth.
When any1dy asks me do want
work, | inriably stiles my mercen-
airy impulse an says No.
ingten Star.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
THE FALL.

at is SO foolish to speak of falling
in love- said the romantic girl. ITO
fall implies a drop, a going down,
while love is something high and ex-
alted."
Perhaps you are right" answered
the p~rosaic man. Possibly it would
be better to say that we fall into we'd
lock.n-Chicago Post.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
MINT DROPS.

"Well,'' remarked n scales at the
mint, getting off it's time-worn joke,
you're worth your weight in gold
sure enough, aren't your"
eyes," replied the bullion ingot,
land yet l suppose pretty soon I'll be
hard-pressed for coin."-Philadelphfa
Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
LONG Avenue OF Trees.

Japan has an avenue of trees fifty
miles in length. The trees are the
cryptomera, and every one is a perfect
specimen, quite straight, from 40 feet
to $50 feet in height and twelve feet to
dfteen feet IN circumference. The ave-
nrle extends from the town OF Naman-
aa 70 Mike
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
THRILLING

Johnnie" called the mother, It"
want you to go to the store for mel"
'Wait a second maw," replied the
youth, who was absorbed in a five
cent volumei "Pepperhole Pete has
thirty-seven Injuns to kill, an it'll
only take him about two minutes" =
Ohio State journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
Household Column.
ENGLISH BREAD U

Cook together in a 2ouble boiler lof
fifteen minutes a cupful of milk, an
eighth of a cupful of bread crumbs, a
half dozen whole peppers, a small
white onion and a half ~teaspocnful of
salt. Remove the onion. add a tea
spoonful butter, putting it in in small
pieces, and cook five minutes longer.
Strain and add a half cupful of cream.
Serve hot.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
A~BUNbANTLY OCCUPIED.

"What does the society which you
have just Joined find to do?" asked
Mrs. Bizzie's husband.
GA great DEAL" was the answer.
"After we get an organization estaD,
lished the question of other peoples
eligibility to membership gives us all
the work we can possibly attend to"
Washington Star.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
A RIDE.

Physician lat hospitaDI thought
you merely had the measles? {
Patient-Well; isn't that enough?
Physician-Yes; but you are GOV.
cred with bruises from head to foot.
How do you account for that?
Patient-Oh, they brought me here
in an ambulance.-Chicago News.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
ALMOST A

"Our town is making great strides"
boosted the proud citizen of the lit
tie hamlet.
"In what way?" asked the drummer.
"Why, we don't turn around when
an automobile passes any more
Chicago News.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
A JEWEL.

1.-The late James Dick, of Glasgow,
left $4,000 to his cook, remarked Mr..
Snaggs to his wife.
"She must have been in the family
at least a year." commented Mrs.
Snaggs."-Pittsburg Chronicle Tele-
graph.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
HIS CONCLUSION.

understand that you have made
a Il study of volcanoes" said the in
terNwer.
'Inave," answered the scientist.
aAat do you regard the most i'm
portft conclusion to be deduced from
your esearches?"
"SipIy this. If you live near a
crate3 that starts to smoke take
steam,ip passage for somewhere
else.'lTashington Star.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
r OF HABIT.

Wilbur" asked the patient little
lady who taught in the night school,
"why is your writing SO dreadfully up
and DOWN."
Don't know" answered Wilbur,
"'less it's cause l run an elevator
days."-New York Times.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
CONCERNING A. SMILE.

Money" said Flooding Pete,
"slips troo me hands like water"
Well" answered Meandering Mike,
''dat's about as close as l care about
comm to takin' a BATH"
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
ROSE.
PATIENT.

81 see you pay your doctors bills
by check and send it by mail"
Sure. If took him the money he
might charge me for another visit
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
Nsu :Jarsev Skin Troubles

Can't resist Tetterine. "Ihave been troubled
with Eczema four years. Tetterine has Rone
SO much good hat I gladly recommend
it. Send another box."-W. c. Fuller, Semi
mole Cottage, Sea Cliff, M. 5Oc. a pox ny
mail from J. 7. Shuptrine. Savannah, Ga, if
Sour druggist don't keep it.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
rl,s ceremonz OF Knlrhthooa.

At the beginning Of the eleventh
sent1ry when a man, for some noble
aeed.l was dubbed a knight, the cere-
monH of knighting him began by CIV
ing him a pair Of spurs. The overload
In cqbnferring the title attached the
spurSs himself to the heels Of the new
ay cr6eated noble and then gave him his
a elm let. his horse. his sword and his
lance.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder for the feet. 1t makes tight
ornewshoes easy. Cures swollen, hot, sweat
ing, aching feet, ingrowing nails, corns and
bunions. At all druggists and shoe stores,
Csc. Trial package FREE by mail. Address
Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. y.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
NO CONFUSION

Say mai"
Yes, Reginald"
Kin any little boy be President
when he grows up"
"Yes, Reginald"
"But, say, ma"
Eyes, Reginald"
He don't have to, if he'd ruther be
first baseman. does he?'-Indianap-
DIS News.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
KIDNEY TROUBLES.
Mrs. Louise N. Gibson Says
That This Fatal Disease is
Easily Cured by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Com.

DEAR Mrs. PINKuAM IL felt very
discouraged two years ago. l had sui
fered SO long with kidney troubles ans
other complications, and had taken go
much medicine without relief that ]
began to think there was nc hope for
me. Life looked SO good to me, but
what is life without health? L5w&nted
90 be well
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

Mrs. S. E. Kennedy, one of the oldest and
best known nurses in Georgia, states that in
all her experience with bowel troubles and
children teething, DIR. Biggcrs' Huekleberry
Cordial is the best remedy.
Sold by all Druggists, Is and SOC. bottle.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

7. s. Parker, Fredonia, NY, says: "shall
noC Ill on you for the 800 reward, for l be-
lieve Halls Catarrh Cure will cure any case
Of catarrh. Was very bad" Write him for
particulars. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

The Cheerful Idiot remarks that II
Is better Ato be h~alf-cracked than com
nletely broke >n.-Philadelphia Record
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

FITS permanently cured. No fits or nervous
ness after first day use Of DR.. Kline's Great
NerveRestorer. $2trial bottle and treatisefree
DR.. RI. KLINE, Ltd, 931 ArchSt., Phila., Pa.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

Mrs. Winslow's SC othing Syrup for children
t~eething, soften the gums. reduces infamma"
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie. Csc. a bottle
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

The only way some people could take &
tumble to themselves would be to walk in
their sleep.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

When a man starts a conversation by
saying he's a friend of yours look out for
some impairment remarks.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

A little bit of a weak woman can often
raise a pretty big row.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

The cook book is generally pretty heavy
literature.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

One way a woman has OF confesStng
her age without meaning it Is E&lng
extremely deferential to old HomS2a.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

The production of tea has been SO great
that nineteen out of forty-five companies
in London could not pay a dividend this
wear.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06
Ladies' Can Wear Shoes

An epidemic of scarlet fever has been
traced to tame pigeons in Cincinnati, Ohio.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infallible
medicine for coughs and oolds.-N. w.
SAMUEL, Ocean Grove, N. j., Feb. II, 1900.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-06

Any woman will tell you that trying on
a new dress is also trying on the nerves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
A BROKEN NECK AND s1,ooo,ooo.

New York Letter in the Chicago Record
 Herald.
 Walter E. Dudyea, son of Edgar E. Duryea, the starch manufacturer, who in August, 1899, had the misfortune to break his neck while diving at Oyster Bay, has r-~. only outlived the father by two years prescribed by the latter's will and come into an inheritance of $1,0O0,00O, but notwithstanding his infirmity is now about to essay the role of a country gen. tleman, with two fine mansions, one at Glen Cove, L. l., with an estate of thirty five acres and another at Clayton in the Thousand islands To cap the climax, this remarkable young man, whose won derful constitution alone has kept him alive contrary to all precident and with an absolute disdain of a fracture of the seventh vertebre, has ordered built for his own use a handsome slxty-fve foot | steam yacht.
 MT. Duryea is still parAliyzed below the waist, but he is now able to sit up. He manages his own Investments, reads a great deal and chats with friends through a telephone at his elbow. He lives in 0 ! hotel on Brooklyn Heights, overlooking the neighboring waters. Armed with the most powerful pair of glasses that money can procure, MT. Duryea sits in his rooms hour by hour reviewing the passing craft. His glasses are so powerful that he can read with ease the name of any vessel passing up or down the river. He spends much of his time in reading by means of a code the various signals ex- ,tr1er ,nA ont going vessels. and has become very ex- pert. The various yachts that go up and down he knows by sight and can pick their names without the aid of glasses with singular accuracy.
 1 Tucked up in his chair, MT. Duryea takes keen delight In the river traffic. His physicians say there is a prospect of his yet being able to walk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
IN HOTEL LoBBIEs.
ForeInn RalIroads.


 For a long time England and France were far ahead of the United States In railroad construction and railroad man. agement. but that time has passed, ;" said railroad official yesterday.
 Tn some points England may still be in the lead and in almost every respect Great Britain and continental Europe are holding their own. America has advanced rapidly, but the old world Is still keeping abreast of the times. William P Deppe, assistant general passenger agent of the Big Four, has just returned from bridal trip abroad. He Is a bright man and a keen observer. This is what he says:
 'The English railways are all right to my way of thinking. all conditions con sldered. The French railways are models. Their roadways. track and frst-class trains are equal to American roads. They have the Atlantic type of engine, too. The train from Calais to Paris makes the run of 160 miles from :15 to 4.45, or three hours and thirty minutes, with about nine cars, which are nearly as large as our cars on the Big Four. They are as large as the ordinary coach on the Pennsyl- vania. Double tracks are seen on every main line. It is double track from Calais to Paris. and Paris to Nice. 1000 miles. Stone depots stone overhead bridges, no grade crossings. perfect block signals and the first-class ticket gives one a com pertinent as Ngeod as the main boudoir cars, without extra fare. Their dining cars are about the same as ours. except they seat all the people in sixty-foot car and have a smaller car to cook in and to serve from. Their frst-class trains are co=Idor trains, vestibuled platforms ana aisles run along one side. After travelling in England and France and looking over the beautiful country. highly cultivated, perfect wagon roads, fine railways bright newspapers. cheap postal and telegraph service, letters delivered every hour until 10 p. m., buildings con- structed for the wear of ages, l am pre- pared to take off my hat to our neighbors on the other side"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
Inauquratlon Day.

"DeArmonds bill to change the date of the Presidents inauguration from March to April 30, Is a gaod measure and should be passed, but it will not be, said a politician.
 ''It is a well known fact that dates connected with historic events are not easily changed. The Russian government has been thinking of changing its calen- dar to conform with the rest of the civ ilized world. Christmas, New Year and Easter in Russia and France are many days apart from our Christmas and so on The Pope fixed the calendar for the west ern world and the Greek church for the eastern world, including Russia. A change in Russia Is certainly desirable, but 1t will not soon be made, for the same reason that our inauguration date will not be changed-sentiment and a reluctance to change on general princi- ples."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
Christmas Dlnner to the Poor.

The Birmingham post of the Salva- ton Army is endeavoring to collect $500 in order to give 1000 poor persons food and needed clothing on Christmas day. No organization knows so we'll who and wnere the poor are as the Salvation Army does. They have a natural affinity for the poor and help less. Besides, not a penny entrusted to their organization will be misspent.
 If you, who can afford to give at all, have not already given something towards the proposed Christmas din- ner for the poor of this city, now is your desired opportunity. Share your prosperity with your fellow-creatures who have not prospered. Brighten lives on the blessed festival day that may not know another bright day in an entire year.
 The preparation of 1000 baskets of food, and the hunting out of 1000 poor to receive them, is not light task, but the members of the post are equal to it, and they will work unceasingly to place the gifts of the people where they will bring the most joy-wherc they are most needed. The success o! the effort depends, however, upon the extent of the contributions. Five hun dred dollars are needed, and the sun should be contributed this week, SC that preparations for the dinner can go forward unchecked. This appea is to all who can afford to give a fel bowman dinner, with the knowledge that dollar given to the Salvation Army will go very far, and will go tc the right spot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
OFLIVING CREATURES MAN
 HAS GREATEST ENDURANCE

one peaks of an average height of 11,5OO feet, and crossed thirty-nine lofty passes. It has been calculated that man who climbs a 7OOO-foot peak in five hours ex- erts enough energy to raise five fully loaded locomotives one foot from the ground.
 Long-dstance cycling gives a further proof of the enormous endurance of man. In the six-days' International cycle race of 1899 the winners-Miller and Waller covered 2793 miles between the Monday morning and Saturday night. Brown, the vegetarian cyclist, recently rode on open roads, often in great heat, and again un- der pouring rain, 1900 miles in 190 hours.
 Although man is not well fitted by na- ture to be a swimmer, and is one of the few land creatures who cannot swim without being taught, yet in long-distance swimming he can give points to any other land animal. Montague Holbein, In Sep tember. 1899. swan forty-sx miles in twelve hours.
 Even in the matter of fasting there are few arm-blooded creatures who can emulate such a performance as the forty days's fast of Tanner.
 Mans memory is one of his most won- derful attributes. What is possible in this direction was proved year or two ago at Naples when a professor Of rhetoric-Arlini by name-repeated from memory 15,35O lines of Dante. He began to recite at o'clock in the evening, and went on till 2l5 the next afternoon. He was thus at work for 1895 minutes, his rate being S3O lines an hour. He only stopped for a minute or two at long in- tervals to sip little brandy and water.
 Almost equally startling was the speech made by Count Lechter in the Australian parliament two years ago. Beginning at o'clock in the evening, he spoke until 9 the next morning.
 Amazing exhibitions of long-sustained brain power have been given by chess players. Pillsbury recently played six teen games of chess simultaneously With out seeing the boards of any of his oppo- nents and at the same time playeo game of whist and chatted to his frienas. What is more, he won all these games but one. Men can eat more, lift more carry more ana pear inorS pam A., pol any other creature Leysseus, the Der gian glutton, who died last year. once ate sixty-nne hard boiled eggs al u meal A man named Nightingale re- gently carried sack Of saha "eis niis 1oo weight four miles-from Ilford to 1 Bow-in slfty-nine minutes.
 A night watchman over sixty was re- | gently run over by an engine at queens Road, Battersea. He had thirteen ribs | broken and his right foot crushed, but | he walked some distance along the line, descended sixteen steps or ladder ana | hut. He was still alive when found four l hours later.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17

away, directed though 1t was to con eress.
 On Tuesday Wall street did not feel the blow acutely. but on Wednesday stocks were poured out like water Tennessee coal went down points, and Louisville and Nashville 10 points. Gold exporters engaged $3.OO0,OOO. The break in prices lasted throughout the week, but in the following week prices went up again. President Cleveland issued a pacific message, and Lord Salisbury agreed to consider arbitra- tion. It was but a spasm, and the country was none the worse for it.
 If the United States can bring about arbitration in the present case, doubt less history will repeat itself in Wall street and water will again be market able. Whether this country can now secure arbitration is doubtful. Ger many and England have gone very far and Castro mas been very careless, and mediation has become very difficult.
 The case is, however. peculiar. If the allies land troops they will trans gross the Monroe Doctrine. If they do not land troops, contenting them selves with "a peaceful blockade. :" they will destroy the revenues of Venezuela, rendering the payment of any claims impossible. Unless, there fore, the Kaiser is determined to break down the Monroe doctrine, it seems probable all parties to the controversy will accept the mediation of the United States, but if they do, what then? How can this country exact millions from Venezuela, unless this country endorses Venezuela's bonds Does not this involve a protectorate
 But these hard questions are be yond. What is needed in Wall street now is a settlement of some kind, it does not particularly matter of what nature it is.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
THE CAVALIERS SONG.
By William Motherwen.

By William Motherwell A steed! a steed of matchless speed,
 A sword of metal keenel All else to noble hearts is drosse, The neighying of the warhorse provide,
 The rowlinge of the drum, The clangor of the trumpet lowde,
 Be soundes from heaven that come; And Oh the thundring presse of
 knightes.
 When as their war cryes swell, May tole from heaven an angel bright,
 And rouse a fiend from hell. Then mounte, then mounte, brave gal lants all, And don your helmes amaine: Deathe's couriers, fame and honor call Us to the field againe. No shrewish teares shall fill our eye When the sword hits in our hand Heart-whole. we'll part, and no whit sighe For the fayrest of the land; Let piping swaine, and craven wight,
 Thus weepe and pulling crye; Our business is like men to fight, And hero-like to diel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-12-17
Iron and Steel Prices.

'"rhe surest manner in which the big iron and steel corporations can stife com petition is to reduce prices on their pro- ducts,'' said an iron manufacturer in the lobby of the Morris.
 This was demonstrated during the week. A manufacturer of finished steel. using great quantities of steel billets, had plans drawn for the erection of open- hearth furnaces and a billet mill to make the billets for his own finishing mill. He withdrew the plans from the contractors biddin gon them, and gave as his reason for stopping the work that he could get all the billets he wanted at greatly reduced prices, and such being the case it would not pay him to invest millions of dollars in furnaces and a bil- let mill.
 "It also proves that the market quota tions are being shaded by the big cor poration and much lower prices are being paid for material for delivery next year than the market quotations represent. As there is an enormous margin of profit in steel it can stand considerable cutting in price before its manufacture becomes un- profitable.
 Take, for instance, the wire industry. The American Steel and Wire company is meeting competition in Africa, South America and the West Indies, where large quantities of wire is used. The prices are not the same which domestic consumers are paying, but there Is rair margin of profit in the exported articles. The ex- portation of iron and steel will continue to increase from now on, and in few months the tide of gold will be turning this way for steel products as result. The big steel corporation Is doing every thing to keep Its plants in operation.
 "The National Tube company is taking in some splendid contracts from abroad This will help this concern to tide over the threatened dull period. The National did not quite let go of It's export trade | when domestic orders were booked in preference, but it did refuse to take many orders proffered and lost considerable trade, which will have to be dug up again, and its agents are giving the foreign pipe makers an example of price cutting that has not been witnessed for years.
 During the week one of the largest manufacturers of steel shafting was ques- toned as to the trend of business. He said his concern, and, in fact, all the companies manufacturing cold drawn steel, had orders on their books which it will take more than one-half the year to fill
 Ut is a fact that the plate manufac- turers have their order books filled with contracts for 1903 and could take orders for 1904 if they would accept the same. This comes largely from the shipbulding programme. The rail mills are also crowded with business for next years delivery, and there is no let-up in the demand for structural shapes. These arc the bright features of the steel industry.