The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-07-22
WHY POPLEIGH QUIT
BY HARLE oREN cuMM1Ns.

and everybody admitted he was queer"
But whatever you might say of MIN, no one
could deny that he was ambitious and ener-
getic, and when he started out to do a thing
he either succeeded or knew the reason why.
Lots of people know haven't the least idea
why it is that they aren't bowling sue
cesses.
Popleigh, when he made up his mind it
was time for him ~ get married. wrote
out a list of all the desirable girls he
could think Of and proposed to Is differ
ent ones the first week. The present Mrs.
Popleigh, No. l6, wasn't a third way down
on the list, so he told me the day after the
wedding.
One night, after he had gone to bed, the
inspiration came to Popleigh that he was
intended for literary genius. He tossed
and perspired half the night in the throes
Of composition, like true author, and as
result the next morning he wrote off four
poems, two short stories and a farce.
These he promptly mailed to the seven
best magazines he could think of, and on the
afternoon of the same day he dashed off six
more poems, a biography of Funston and
dozen jokes.
But the next day was when he really got
down to work. won't tell you how many
literary ventures he sent forth that day,
for l know you wouldn't believe me, but
when the postman stopped with the evening
mail that night and saw the pile of letters
waiting for him to collect he promptly went
to the nearest corner and rang up an ex-
press wagon.
On the fourth day, satisfied with his cf-
forts, Popleigh rested and awaited results
fully expecting to hear himself named before
the week was up as poet laureate of the
United States and worthy to draw pension
from the government
The next day there were returned to him
Is of the children of his brain, accompanied
by 10 beautifully colored and elegantly word
ed refusal slips. The next few days mail
did not diminish in volume, and on Saturday
nignt he was in possession of sc literary
abortions and as many refusal blanks.
Now comes the genius, foolishness, or
whatever you choose to call it, of Popleigh.
Another man would have become despond-
make collection of refusal slips, and with
the three dozen he had already obtained as
a nestegg, he sent the 36 original contrbu-
tons to as many different magazines and pa
pers.
At the end of three months Popleigh had
slips from all the standard periodicals of the
country and his collection was really be-
coming quite a curiosity
He next determined to include weekly
and semlweekly papers, and finally added
the more important daies. His list now
contained papers of every kind, of religious
and political faith, police court journals,
agricultural and farming periodicals.
His stamp bill was something enormous,
but Popleigh felt that he was repaid, for he
had the finest collection of refusal slips in
the country, and that's saying good deal,
as those know who have tried it,
AT last he had returns from practically
all the issues in the United States, except
a small country magazine, the Farmers
Weekly; a sectarian magazine of Baptist
persuasion, the Religious Era, and sport
ing paper, called the Pugilists' Review.
This is q cinch," said Popleigh, and i'm
mediately sent brief on How to Shell
Peas to the paper devoted to agricultural
pursuits, a tame description of a recent
wrestling match to the Pugiists Review,
and sermon on Salvation Without Wa
ter to the Baptist magazine.
And now comes the funny part of it all
Imagine Popleigh's surprise at the end of
the week to receive letter Of acceptance,
with accompanying check from each OF the
three publications.
mediately wrote three more articles and
sent them to the same three papers. He
purposely made them as dry and uninter-
esting as possible, and wrote on brown wrap
ping paper with his left hand, in order to
prejudice the readers who had to look over
the MS.
Fate, however, was still against him.
Again he received three checks, and the edi-
tor OF the religious magazine wanted him to
become staff writer and contribute SER
mon weekly.
Highly indignant Popleigh determined to
end this foolishness at once. He sent a
sermon on "Brotherly Love- to the Pugi-
lists Review; another on Immortal Life"
to the Farmers Weekly, and an account of
brutal prize fight to the Religious Era.
You wouldn't believe it, but every one of
the three were accepted, and the editor of
the religious magazine made Popleigh a per-
sonal visit to again urge him to join its edi-
torial force The Pugilists' Review sent
him copy of the paper with his sermon on
'Brotherly Love blue penciled. They had
printed it as joke in the column Fun of
the Day"
Poplelgh was a failure, a double distilled
failure, he told himself bitterly. He had
tried to become an author and get things
accepted, ana had been sent numDerleSS re-
fusal slips He had tried to get collection
of refusal slips and the editors insisted on
accepting everything he wrote, and trying
to make an author of him.
Popleigh was furious. He consigned his
immense collection of elegantly -worded re-
fusal slips to back yard bonfire, returned
the nine checks to the publishers, and regis
tered a solemn VOW never again to have any
thing to do with literature.
And this is the reason, if you are a sub
scriber to the Religious Era, the Farmers
Weekly or the Pugilists' Review, that You
have seen nothing of late from the pen of
Popleigh. Globe.
Religious Enthusiasm.
''Baptizing days" are great events among
the negroes of the south. On one occasion