Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1902-06-26
CRUSHING
A DRUMMER
copyright. 1902. by C. b. Lewis.l


In the bus he was very quiet and
when the clerk assigned him a back
room on the fourth floor not a word of
protest fell from his lips. 1t was al
most by accident that anybody got on
to the fact that he was a drummer.
When the discovery was made that
such was his profession, the landlord
beckOned him into the private office
and began:
young man, what sort OF little
game are you trying TO play in this
town.
"Fm-I'm not playing any game"
was the confused reply.
81 hope not for your own sake, but
things look very queer. People who
came up In the bus with you tell me
that you hadn't word to say against
the town"
mo, sir"
"And when you entered this hotel
you didn't throw your grip at bell
boy and bang up TO the Office and de-
mand second floor parlor at 81 per
day. What was the matter with your
"That-that isn't my way, sir"
81 hope you are speaking the truth.
young man." said the landlord as he
glared at him. "The man who lies to
me finds me hard man to deal with.
The head waiter says you ordered from
the bill OF fare and made no kick.
Was that part OF your game"
81 don't understand you"
But you will before we get through.
You were in the smoking room last
evening. There were score OF 9th
ers there, but you worked that humlli-
ty dodge to perfection. You did not put
your feet on the back OF chair; you
did not announce In loud voice that
you were from New York; you did not
boast that your firm was the biggest In
the world; you did not say that every
one horse town in the country had a
better hotel than mine. Perhaps you
can explain In police court, but l
am far from being satisfied. There
Is something behind all this, and l
have telegraphed your house to know
whether you are all right or not"
"Why, OF course ! am all right" said
the young man as his face grew trou.
bled. 81 told you this was my first trip.
and IL have done anything out Of the
way
THAT excuse doesn't 90 down, young
man! Have you found any fault with
the railroads entering Schenectady
since you came here"
"No, sir:''
Have you had one single word TO
say against our river, the weather,
street ear service or the police depart
ment"
IL don't think So"
And, look here. young man." contin-
ued the landlord AS he touched the
other on the shoulder, there We're
three drummers in the smoking room
all the while you sat there. You must
have known they were drummers. You
heard each one OF them get of whop-
ping big lie, but you never opened your
MOUTH
but what was TO dol"
question! Great heavens, but What is
the profession coming to! You should
have gone In and told lie big enough
TO drop all three OF them. OF course. DO
you mean TO tell me that you can't tell
Hep
"N-no, SIR" was the trembling an
swcr
"Jehoshaphat to Jerusalem, but how
did you get this far from New York
without losing your clothes? You IN
tend to sit stlll and let three old liars
show OF and get all the credit. Well,
well but took you for n suspicious
character as you got out OF the bus.
Perhaps you will next tell me you
can't tell u funny story"
NO sir; can't" was the contrlte
admission
"Humph! Wei, your guilt grows
blacker and blacker. When You left
New York, didn't you have II lot Of old
jokes aud gags and guys stored up in
your head to get OF In country towns
like thisT
mo. sir"
mo lies, no jokes, no guys. And you
you call yourself a drummer. ! can't
| hud words to express my HstonishmenL
When you leave here, are you going at
. o'clock In the morning and wake ev-
| erybody in the house banging your
trunk along the halls|
mo, sir; am goiug away at noon
today"
Going TO tell every drummer you
meet for the next month that this is
the cussedest town you ever struck
for businessY'
NO, sir; business has been first rate
with me-"
And you don't intend to ask me to
take a draft ON New York In payment
for your blllf"
NO sir"
"Nor kick at paying $3.50 per day
and say you can live cheaper at the
| Waldorf
mo, sir"
Young man. see here" said the
landlord as he bent forward and drop
ped his voice peg or two. "rhere is
no doubt In my mind that you are
shower OF the queer, n dealer in green
goods or a spotter for bank burglars.
As an honest man II is my duty 10
turn you over to the law, but III give
you chance 20 reform. Pay your bill.
gct out OF the ladies' door with your
| grip and make sneak for the depot
/ II you can get clear away, won't say
anything, but don't you ever show up
In Schenectady again.
| The young man went He made
straight line for New York handed In