Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-12-18
Note. from MIR. Bow.er's Mother-in-Law.

a visit of three weeks to my son-in-law,
Mr.. Bowser. In previous articles
have related several little incidents OF
of the first two weeks. AS TO the
third week l will take the days in ro-
tation.
Monday-When Mr.. Bowser came
home from the Office this evening he
was scufing his feet and had his shoul-
ders bumped up. He kicked the gate
open aud between the gate and steps
he picked up an old teaspoon which
some boy must have tossed into the
yard. He ascended the steps with
that spoon waving in the air, and mis-
taking me for Amanda, he cried out
"More waste and extravaganza
Another milestone on the road to the
poor house Woman, will there ever
be an end to this ?"
"There will be, Benjamin Burton
Bowser," said l. "There will be an
end right here and now. If you come
home tonight with scrap under your
hat, I'll see that you are not disap-
pointed.
but here is a spoon which has
carelessly been thrown out, as have
thousands and thousands of others,
he protested.
"Then we'll have it again, and you
may eat with it. Benjamin, get that
hump out of your neck and either
talk sense or don't talk at all. When
it is shown that my daughter is not
capable of taking care of your tea
spoons, I'll see about the divorce my
sell"
Mr.. Bowser was grouty all the even
ing, but that made no difference to
me. By bedtime he seemed resolved
to make the best of things, and he
went to bed without slamming doors
or kicking over chairs.
Tuesday-Before leaving for the
Office in the morning Mr.. Bowser
talked about buying hog, but | sat
down on him at once. He came home
to dinner without finding any spoons,
but he was just in time to meet the
iceman, who had bill of dollar or
30 to collect.
"By the great horn spoon, yelled
Mr.. Bowser, "but what does this mean
Must l submit to these bold-faced rob-
berries every day in the year? Is my
own wife in cahoot with every swim
dler IN town
Benjamin, said l, as l laid my
hand on his arm, II don't know any
thing about the great horn spoon, but
/ do know what lump Of ice is.
You've had lump of ice day for
the last month, and there's the bill for
it. The ice hasn't been burned in the
range nor given away to tramps. 1t
has been used to preserve your meats
and vegetables and furnish ice water
and you Il pay for it and hang on to
your breath. AS to any cahoots bus
mess, you'd better look out for the
fool killer"
He looked around for a crowbar
with which to strike me dead, but not
finding any he paid the bill and sat
down with sigh. Later in the even
ing he observed that if ever be were
left a widower he wouldn't marry the
best woman on earth, and | replied:
Benjamin, don't fret your gizzard
| Amanda will outlive you by 10 years
| and your mother-in-law will probably
he holding your hand when you pass.
Wednesday-At 6 o'clock in the
morning I thought l heard somebody
sneak downstairs. A little later
looked out of back window and saw
Mr.. Bowser making for the alley
When l had dressed and got down,
man who had horse to sell was show
| ing the animal off and boasting that
he belonged to the Seek-No-Further
breed. Mr.. Bowser was hesitatiDe
about closing sale for $3.50 when
opened the alley gate and said:
Benjamin amt you little afraic
that this early morning air will have
bad effect on your asthma ?"
I'll was looking at horse, hs
stammered in reply.
$50 I observe. I can see from here
that he has two spavins and a ring
bone, and if he isn't blind he ought
at least to wear spectacles. / hearc
him spoken of as Ssek-N Further
That's correct, Benjamin. He won
have to seek no further for woman
who knows horse from giraffe.