West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-02-13
FEB WHITES M|SHAp.
HE TELLS HOW UNEXPECTED mis-.
FORTUNE OVERLOOK HIM.
The Old Possum Hunter or Tennessee
Failed to Heed the Advice OF His
Good wife TO Keep Holy the
Sabbath Day and Suffers
For &c.

| NVh iSChoh was any WuSS
than other men," said the old pos
sum hunter of Tennessee as he set
tied down to tell an evening tale,
"but somehow or other il allus
seemed as if Sunday was the best
day to go huntin'. My wife OBJ
Jected from the day we was married,
but didn't give it up. | wasn't de-
fiant of the Lawd or anything of that
sort, couldn't see no harm in gwine
out of a Sunday and poppin' over a
bar or bringin' home a couple OF
coonskins. This had been goine on
long, long time when Elder Davis
called at my cabin one Saturday to
say that he was gwine to preach al
Carriers Crossroads next day. The
elder was a powerful good man
and liked him but couldn't
give up my Sunday huntin' to hear
him preach. He jest said that Sun
day was the Lawd's day and should
be kept holy and that l wasn't doini
the right thing to slosh around with
a gun on my shoulder. 1t was arter
he was gone that the old woman
turned to me and said
Zeb, YOU put on a clean shirt
in the mornin' and go with me to
hear the preachin'.'
"pd like to mighty well, says 1,
but I've located seven coons in a
big tree and hev got to git their
hides tomorrer.
"Is your soul with more than
seven coons p she asks.
Reckon tits but what's my soul
got to do with it p
" 'Yo' are gwine to lose it if yo'
don't stop this Sunday sloshin.
Hear me, Zeb White. If yo' done
go to church with me tomorrer a
Judgment will fall upon yo' as suah's
yo'r bon =
al sorter thought I'd go, and |
sorter thought wouldn't, and was
at standstill till the old woman
got her bonnet on. Then l sud
denly made up my mind to go arter
the coons and let her go to the
preachin' alone. She looks at me
fur mint or two with pity in her
eyes, and then says:
"All right, Zeb White. Go along
arter yo'r coons, but bewar' of that
Judgment =
al felt sorter mean and also sor-
ter scairt, but when she had gone
cleaned my rifle and made ready fur
a start. l can't never tell how it all
happened, but as l left the doahstep
tripped and fell dowa, and it
wasn't five seconds befo' knew |
had broken leg. 1t didn't hurt
much at first. crawled into the
cabin and on to the bed, and then
the pains took me. The highest
naybur was mile away, and it
wasn't much use TO holler, but
yelled till l was hoarse. Then
fell to cryin', and arter that to
prayin'. Bimeby l was so used up
that | couldn't do no mo- than to
lay thar and moan, and then the
Judgment cum. The door was
wide open, and | lay facin' it and
the fust thing | knowed twenty
three coons walked in one arter the
other. Yes, sub. Jest twenty three
coons, and all big and fat, and they
marched around the room in pur-
cession and then begun to chaw
things up. They scattered the con-
tents of the mealbag, upset the keg
of apple butter and dragged the ba-
con through the muss, and when
they was ready TO go each one give
sort of chuckle in his throat.
They hadn't bin gone FIVE minits
when in walks sixteen big fat pos
sums. They tipped over the crock
holdin' the sorghum, chawed up my
hat and knocked down the lamp,
and two of 'em climbed up on the
bed and took alook at me befo' they
left All could do was to lay
thar and groan and weep, and it
did seem as il my heart would
break.
"But thar was mo- to cum-mo'
to cum" sighed Zeb as he rocked
TO and fro in his big splint bottom.
ed chair
"Soon arter the possums had
gone my ole dawg cum sneakin' in
and hid under the bed, and he was
follered by bar The bar stood
and cooked his eye at me fur
mint and then rushed fur the dawg.
The fight didn't last long. lie
killed that dawg in twenty ticks Of
the clock, and then he walked
around to see what damage he could
do. lie tipped over the cupboard,
knocked down the clock and tore