The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1902-11-21
BOGGS' FIRE ALARM.


elevator.
.It there should be fire here" said
Boggs, repeatedly, to his better half, leave
everything and go either down the fire
escape or up on the roof!
every well, my dear!" was Mrs. Boggs'
reply. Don't worry"
One morning Mrs. Boggs went out early
with her children for a walk in the park.
The servant was on the roof hanging up
the washing and Boggs was enjoying
2 late sleep in the brass bed in the back
parlor. He had been to the lodge the
night before and his head was filled with
queer buzzing sounds. Through the
parlor window the dazzling rays of the
morning sun blazed across the hardwood
floor. In the bright light particles OF
dust foated hither and thither, famed
by the gentle summer breeze.
Boggs was half awake. He looked
dreamily across the floor toward the par
lor mantel to see what time it was. Then
he started up in bed with jump. His
bloodshot eyes bulged until he looked like
bullfrog ready to spring.
cts smoked" he exclaimed, his teeth
chattering "It's smoke as sure as there's
sun a-shining!'
Boggs looked at the broad belt of sun
light that swept across the room. There,
coming up through the cracks in the floor
in front of the tiled fireplace, he could see
little wreath of blue smoke curling lazily
upward. 1t was so tiny at first that it
was hard to believe that it was smoke, but
with two leaps from the bed Boggs got his
nose within range and was ready for ac-
ton.
Heavens" he cried, though nobody
heard him, "the house. is afre, and here l
am alone. Shall 1 open the windows and
yell or shall put it out myself"
He rushed into the kitchen. There on
the floor stood tin boiler overfowing
with soap suds and water in which the
clothes had been soaked all night.
''This will do it," he calculated, as he
dragged the boiler over the floor into the
parlor. The smoke was thicker and bluer
than before and the odor of burning wood
fairly made Boggs insane. He upset the
boiler on the floor directly over the smoking
cracks and rushed back for more. Then
in his mad fight, he remembered that his
wife had some money and valuables in the
bureau top drawer. He dropped the boiler
with crash and dashed into the bed
room.
He ransacked the drawers one after an
other, but he could find nothing. An
open trunk stood in his way. Instantly he
was seized with wild desire to save some
thing. He grabbed his wife's best Sunday
hat and threw it in. Then he hurled these
articles on top of it:
One alarm clock, one pair of rubber boots,
one broken umbrella, one pile of old news
papers, one doll, one cracked china pitcher
one bowl, one box of cigars, one pair of cuffs,
three soiled collars, one bottle of ink, two
pairs of socks, one paper of tacks, tack
hammer and chisel, set of false teeth, one
carpet slipper, three pillows and tomato
can.
Then he came to his senses for moment
and rushed back into the parlor. The
blue smoke was curling up in maddening
way. Boggs turned on the water in the
kitchen and in the bath tub. Under the
streams he placed bowls and pals, while
he filled the washtub again through the
showerbath hose.
"Fire!" he walled piteously, as he poured
water in turn from the wash boiler, two
pals, two bowls and big saucepan upon
the smoking cracks.
Fire! Ring the alarm!"
It was another frenzied desire to save
something that took him next. So he
hurried into the bedroom and turned the
trunk upside down.
Fire! Firew was his constant wall. He
stepped on tack and shrieked with pain.
Then he bumped his head against pro-
jecting shelf and staggered back, groggy.
He threw two of his wife's dresses into the
trunk and his boys rocking horse and
sled on the dresses.
Fire! My God, we are burning up!"
he beloved. His face was white and his
teeth were chattering as if the thermometer
was 20 degrees below zero. He took an
other look at the smoke, but it was still
curling lazily up as if it had no desire to
bring matters to crisis.
"B-r-r-r-r-r-r! 1t was the electric bell at
the front door.
B-r-r-r-r-r-r! But Boggs was busy draw
ing more water. He sprinted out of the
kitchen with the wash boiler and fell head
long. 1t was crash that awoke the neigh
borhood.
"Fire!" he fairly roared as he got up and
looked again at the lazy smoke "Murder!"
B-r-r-r-r-r-r! 1t was the bell again. Then
there was pounding on the door produced
by the fists of man.
"Fire!" shouted Boggs, as he tipped over
the umbrella stand and opened the door.
whats all this mean?" queried the jan
itor.
John, what on earth are you doing?"
asked Mrs. Boggs, excitedly.
my ceiling has fallen,'' growled Foggs,
the tenant below, "and you've flooded my
parlor. Who's going to pay for it; hey?"
cts an outraged" exclaimed half dozen
women.
"He's crazy, sure!" said the servant girls.
The street was filled with fire engines.
The firemen came leaping up the stairs.
where is it!' they yelled, bringing in
their axes.
"In there!" said Boggs, family, as he
pointed in toward the parlor. The fremen
+. and the janitor rushed in together. The
blue smoke was still curling up from the
floor.
cts nothing" remarked the janitor,
with a look of disgust. 'The fue is out
of order and the smoke is coming up through
the floors! There's no fret"
When order had been restored Mrs. Boggs
carefully closed the windows and doors.
Then she said:
"Boggs, you can never 20 to that lodge