The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-19
Fables by Tom McNeal.

for q time to be free and untrammeled |
like he used to be when he was a
bachelor. He was a good man and
loved his wife and children all right,
but it occurred to him that he was
tied down to a grind and that If the
pressure could be let up for spell he
would have the ripsnortingest time of
his life. He therefore determined to
send the family away on a visit and
enjoy himself. His wife objected a
little at first because she had come to
feel that the old man needed her to
look after him and that the house
would get all topsy-turvy If she were
to 90 away, but she was finally per-
suaded. As for the kids, they were
ready to hike out any old time. Any
thing for a change hit them all right.
The family was therefore bundled off
to relatiYe's who lived a couple Of
hundred miles away. While the
family was making getaway the old
man was busy and interested and
after they were off he went to his
place of business and worked up to
6p. m. Then he took meal at a res
taurant where they brought him a cup
of overdone coffee and steak that
would have made lastly door mat If
it had been fringed at each end.
After supper he went to the hotel and
loafed round till 10 O'Clock and then
went home. The house was so lone
some that he hated to 90 In. The
next morning he tried another res
taurant and got a worse layout II any
thing than he had the night before.
1t made him sort of hot to see the
way the regular boarders in that res
taurant seemed to be able to eat the
grub that In his opinion wasn't fit for
anything except dog feed. That eve.
ming he loafed around town to see II
he couldn't get back into the old ways
he used to follow. He found. how
ever that he wasn't in it. The young
fellows had no use Tor his company
and sort of SHE'D off when they saw
him coming around. He finally fell In
with lot of old ducks who were play
ing whist, and got into the game, but
as he hadn't played for 10 years he
had lost the run Of the thing and his
partner roared and made unpleasant
remarks when he trumped his ace
When the evening was over he Observ-
ed that none of the old ducks invited
him to come back and he overheard
the man who had been his partner
telling one of the other men that he
generally liked to play whist, but he
did hate to play when he had an old
fool for partner. The next evening
he wandered out to the park and
heard the band play, but while he
saw several little! crowds that seemed
to be having some fun, there was no
show for him to butt in and all he
could do was to wander about like a
jay stranger la strange land. 1t
didn't take him long to get onto the
fact that a man who had been out Of
the social swim for Is years couldn't
get In again in three-days notice.
He used to dance when he was young
and as there was a charity ball on
hand he concluded he would be gay
and buy ticket. He found kind
hearted girl who was willing to waltz
with him, but before the music
paused he had walked on four trails,
tramped on his partners feet three
times and got his own feet tangled up
as much as four times. After that he
worked up his courage to ask a few
other girls If he could dance with them,
but found they were all engaged for
every set. He hadn't been there an hour
until he overheard man asking the
floor manager who that old fool was
who labored under the impression
that he could dance. At the end Of a
week the man wrote to his wife say
ing that she needn't hurry home On
his account, but that her flowers did
not seem to be doing well for some
reason or other and maybe she had
better come home and look after
them. The mans wife understood.
Down In the bottom of her heart she
was glad the old man wasn't having
such rip.roaring time as he had an
ticipated. She packed her trunk that
afternoon and started for home. The
old man met her at the station better
tickled than he had been for 20 years.
Moral: The man who thinks he
can slip back rs years and be boy
again whenever he wants to will find
that he Is of his hooks.
A horse was seen with his teeth
fastened on a post and filling himself