davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
lis Worm claaa.

"Hcllo. papa" cried the daughter o.:
the Wall street operator after the ia
ther reached his porch after his ride
out from the city ON II suburban train
and seated his little one Oil his knee
But, papa. I've got one sou can't
guess"
Cant guess:" said the tinancicr.
"Another new joker
"A good one. too" Chartered the Lit
tie girl You ought to guess it. but
you can't. Now, il a student is Il book.
worm what kind of Il worm arc you:"
We'll. that is Il hard one. We're all!
supposed to be worms in one way
said the SPECTATOR.
Yes, but you'd be a tapeworm,"
broke in the little girl. with burst Of
laughter; you read the ticker tape SO
much"
That's right" was the answer
Net. York Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
The Odor az Drnth.

A London physician OF large practice
asserts that owing to his extremely
sensitive sense of smell he can foretcll
the coming of death forty-eght hours.
lie says that when patient comes
within two days of death peculiar
earthly smell is emitted from the body.
When the fatal disease is slow in it's
progress, the odor makes its appear
nncc as much as three days before
hand, but when the disease is Of the
galloping kind the doctor says he re-
ccivcs much shorter warming He at
tributes the smell to modification,
which begins within the body before
life is extinct.
Dogs are thought to have this sense,
for hunting hounds have been observed
to begin Il mournful baying a day or
two before their masters died.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Jack Cn.le.s Monument

At IIcathtield, in England, is a farm
on which still stand the remains of
an old stone house that is said once to
have been the home of the notorious
Jack Cadc. Whether or not Cade evcs
lived there can never he accurately de-
ternined, but there is no disputing the
fact that he was killed in that neigh
bcrhood, On the main road, not far from
the ruins of the house, stands a mon
ument with this inscription: Near this
spot was slain the notorious rebel Jack
Cadc by Alexander Iden. Esq, sheriff
of Kent, A. ID. 1850. Ills body was
carried to London and his head fixed
upon London bridge. This is the sue
cess of all rebels, and this fortune
chanceth ever to traitors"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
obliging.

At a musicale where priest was a
guest young woman With robust
soprano voice did most of the enter
tanning. She was very proud Of her
accomplishments and her musical cd
ucation. She sang songs in German,
italian, French and English. When
She appeared to have exhausted her
repertory and the company present
We're wishing for II change In the pro-
grammc, the clergyman paid her some
compliments and added:
why, Miss Jones. think you could
sing nd intnitum"
Il really don't know it." responded
the obliging young woman. but II the
music is here III try lt."-New York
Times,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
The Teacher and the Shirt.

There is 81 teacher in school III n
town in New Jersey who has Brooklyn
relatives, since it is ncr birthplace and
was her residence until she wandered
into the wilds of Jersey to train the
youthful savage in the way he should
educationally so. Among her scholars
was one boy, Il Tommy Russell, who
was we'll nigh incorrigible. One Gay.
patience exhausted. the teacher caught
the lad and gave him Il shaking that
made his teeth rattle in their sockets.
More, so vigorous was her clutch that
she tore his SHIRT. The next mornin.
the lad appeared with a neat bundle.
laying it before the teacher Gu the
desk.
What is this, Tommy?" asked the
teacher.
II dunno. teacher" was the reply.
me mudder sed Civ t'yousc."
The teacher opened the bundle to
find Tommy's torn shirt with this
memorandum:
You tore the shirt: now you can
mend it.'-Brooklyn Eagle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

If single beds were more numerous
than they are, great many people
would be better Off. When one is
tired, sick, cross, restless, out of sorts,
he or She ought to sleep alone and not
communicate by proximity the NAL.
aides that affect him. The brute crca.s
lures when sick go away by them.
selves till they die or get over their
troubles, and this instinct great
many human beings have. Those that
have it are best if INDUCED i'm it, not
to the slightest degree of neglect, how.
ever. Where two children in IL family
must share the same room i'm great
many cases they would Ice better off to
have two single beds rather than ono
wide double bed. We can share n
great many things with those we love,
but solitude clings to us from birth to
death. We come into the world alone;
we must go out of it alone, and VIC
live In 1t alone, in a certain important
sense and to get and keep our '.bear-
inss" we must sometimes be left alone.
1t is good that we should be.-Family
Doctor,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Flowers and Poison..

Ever since the days of that floral
nbomination, the green carnation, we
have known that flowers are suscepti-
bic to the influence of drugs and can
be made to change their colors by prop
err, or rather improper, treatment
This branch of Horticulture has been
pursued further by inquiring people,
and it seems that plants are as liable
to the effects of poisons as are human
beings. IL you give Il flower too much
chloroform, it will not agree with it,
In the words of the operator. cit droops
and dies" 1t is difficult to see what is
the advantage of this particular study
Every one knows that flowers can be
killed far too easily. If some scientif-
lie person would find way of causing
them to bloom all the year round in
our climate, that would be something
of Il discovcry-lcss scientific, perhaps
but much more acceptable. = London
Taller.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
h'anfa ssr hAyAJu woman
eso AioAe OF All Indian S4uayvs En.
Joys independence.

esio AfoAe OF All Indian S4uayvs I'm.
Joys Independence.
The Navajo woman, who has made
her tribe the most famous of all liv-
ing Indian races by means of her great
and excellent invention, the Navajo
blanket occupies Il social position of
great independence. Her property,
rights are carefully respected She
owns much Of the wealth of the tribe.
Nnd her children belong to her alone.
a woman may have hundreds of sheep
when she marrics, and not one be-
comes the property of her husband.
Descent is traced through the female
line. 1t is IL survival of the primitive
Matriarchate.
The Navajo woman has no pcrma-
ncnt home. The progress of the tribe
has been greatly impc,lcd by its dark
superstition that every death is caused
by Chinde, the devil, and that evil
spirits lingcr about the dead body. The
house is never occupied again. The
corpse is buried in the floor and the
mouse pulled down over it, and No
vajo would freeze before he would
make fire upon the logs of one of
these deserted heaps. So the Navajo
hogan is Il poor. temporary affair, a
mere circular hut of logs and stones,
with a hole in the roof for the smoke
and blanket for the door. In the
summer the Navajo woman loves to
move into brush wickiup. made of
greasewcod boughs. There she sets up
her loom in the shadow of the rocks
and lives in the open air all summer
Chicago Inter Ocean,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
.;,.. Sc 81 S,xsSttp.

l!.s; !sl:Hrihi,h wcsD .l'Si!ilK.,inl,ed top
til: ELp;r aud co:c.spaesa OF their
speech Dn one occasion during ter.
rible famine the Inhabitants of an is
land i'll the .issean sea sent an embas-
sudor to Sparta, who made Il speech
imploring its aid. He had hardly fin
islicd before the spartans sent him
back these words. We did not under
stand the end of your speech and have
forgotten the beginning"
The poor, starving people chose an
other spokesman AID impressed upon
him to make his request as brief as
possible.
He therefore took with him a guam
sity of sacks. opened orc before the as
scnDly and said simply, ut is empty;
ill it,"
The sack WAS filed as we'll as the
otl,crs, but the chief OF the assembly
said as he dismissed the ambassador,
loaded with meal: lit wasn't necessary
% inform Us that the sack was empty.
We saw it ourselves. Neither was it
accessory to request US to fill it. We
should have done it on our own ac-
count he less long winded next time"
Christian Endeasor World.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
English laert Pic.

The veal and ham pie which is
common English dish should be better
known here. The bone end of a piece
of veal is stewed till the meat is ten
der, with an equal amount of smoked
ham. Take out the bone, strain the
stock and separate the veal and ham
pieces. Cut each in strips and lay in
alternate layers IN deep baking dish.
Season, cover With the clear stock and
finish the dish With 81 tlaky crust that
will bake quickly. The dish is eaten
cold, and when cut like my Ne it will
be found that the meat is sct In de-
licious jelly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
Chicago and
New Orleans Limited.
Exclusively a Pullman Train from Chlagoc
FASTER TIME

Effective December Z, the Chicago and New
Orleans Limited, fast yestibule train, will be
split out OF Chicago. running from Chicago to
Memphis as Pullman car train only. Train
No 3, the Limited, carrying only Pullman
sleeping cars, dining car and buffet-library car
will leave Chicago daily Mt 700 p m for Mem
phis. Hot Springs, Nashville, Atlanta, Jackson
vile, and arriving at New Orleans at 40 m
the next day. No coach passengers will be
taken on it, they being carried to the above
points on new train No % having coaches only
and leaving Chicago at 5:25 m daily and ar
irving at New Orleans 7:4O m the next day.
This coach train will also carry every Wednes-
day out of Chicago the San Francisco Excursion
Sleeping Car running via New Orleans
In addition, the New Orleans Special fast
day train. with through sleeping and buffet
library CARS, and serving all meals in dining
car, will leave Chicago daily at 1855 next
morning, connecting with the Sunset Limited
of the Southern Pacific for Houston, San An
tonic and San francisco, the Sunset Limited
leaving New Orleans daily at II :55 a m. Tick
sts and further information of railroad ticket
agents. A. b. HANSEN,
Gel'l Pass'r Agent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
III. svn,notb,c. Too stronr

'You might think" said Meanderfng
Mike, dat don't know how to work.
If you do, lady. OATS Il mistake. I'm
a wonderful handy man at lot o
things"
"Then why don't you get employ
ment?"
cts me principles dat keeps me
from followin' me Industrious inclina-
TONS Every time dere's strike de-
clared goes on sympathetic strike
to help along de cause. An dere's Il
strike somewhere or another purity near
all de me."-Washington Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
A Remarkable Petition.

The keeper Of the menagcrie at Yer
sallles during the reign of Louis XVI.
had orders to administer six bottles Of
burgundy every day to dromcdary
which had grown feeble with old age
and which the king was very anxious
to keep alive. In spite of this ultra
generous treatment the animal died, to
the great despair of his nurse. who pc
titionel the king with view of obtain.
Ing the succession Of the dromedary"
that is to say, all the advantages ut.
tached to his person.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Growing Walking cnne..

Few men who use walking canes are
aware that the growing Of walking
stalks is a special industry and that
certain kinds of canes are not merely
collected us they may be found grow
Ing In forests. One may find ut any
store where the sticks are sold many
canes of almost precisely the same
length, weight, shape and material.
Canes having tangle Of roots at the
handle, for instance, are much sold in
England. They are grown by '.farm-
or who makes it speciality to trim
and shape young ash plants,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
odd Ideas,

Some Of the Virginia applicants fN
registration as voters give queer an
swers to the questions asked them.
One negro thought the general assem-
bly, was you three gentlemen sitting
there" with a bow to the registrars.
Another thought it was "a place in
the woods where they went to worship
the Lord" A third negro was asked
to explain the freedom of the press.
when you get in crowd, shove as
much as you please" he replied.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Women In Com IN a nd.

In several villages Of Finland the
woman has authority. for religious
sect exists there whose disciples are
forced to marry and to take n VOW to
submit to the wife in all things The
women choose one Of their number for
governing head. whose duty it is to see
that the men behave themselves and to
punish them il they transgress. Sim
liar are the "Puridcants" of Liberia,
who also recognize the supremacy Of
women.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

An exchange in southwestern
Kansas is responsible for the fol-
lowing: An Indian owed one of
our merchahts, and the other day
he came to pay and wanted re-
ceipt. In vain the merchant told
him receipt was unnecessary
R"Me must have to show me owe
white man nothing" said the In
dian. "Me go to heaven, the Lord
ask Indian he pay debts. Injun
says yes. Lord ask lnjun whe re
is receipt. What Injun do?
Can't go all over hell to look for
you" He got the receipt.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
TO Clean Brass.

To clean brass and keep 1T always
bright rub it with solution of oxalic
acid, one ounce of acid to one pint Of
water, and alternate with a solution
composed of onc-half pound of rotten
stone and one ounce OF oAalic acid,
with as much water as will make it
into stiff paste. Apply the solutions
and polish with piece of leather or
an old silk handkerchief. Both solu-
tions should be labeled Poison"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

A monument recently placed in
lonely field about seven miles outh
east of Columbus, Indiana, marks the
center of population of the United
States, proper, al the close of the 18Th
century. In 100 years the population
has travelled AIS miles westward, or on
average of three feet per hour.-Logau
Nucleus.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
A Good Cough Medicine

From the Gazette, Toowoomba, Aus
tralia
l find Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
is an excellent medicine. l have been
suffering from severe cough for the
last two months, aud it has effected a
cure. have great pleasure in recon :
mending it.-W g Wockner. This is
the opinion of one OF our oldest and
most respected residents, and has been
voluntarily given in good faith that
others may try the remedy and be be-
MELTED, as was Mr. Wockner. This re-
NEEDY is sold by Elliott u Harvey.
deal
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Reward of Merit.

Papa-Where did you get that dol
lar?
Little son-That's the one you gave
me on my birthday.
Papa-My, my! And you haven't
spent It? Here's another dollar
Little son-'rhank you. hope man
ma won't borrow this one. like she did
the other. She just pnld it back,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
A Quiet Place.

There are queer hooks and corners
in England yet.
A country parson went to preach in
an old remote parish one Sunday. :.
The aged sexton, in taking him to the
place, insinuatingly said:
Il hope yer riv-rence won't mind
preachin' from the chancel. Ye see, this
is quiet place, and I've got duck
sittin' on fourteen eggs in the pulpit"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

james McCaustland, an old time re-
sident of this township died in Cali
fornia last Saturday and the remains
were shipped to Shelby for interment.
He was at the time of his death 80
years of age and had been resident
of this township, before moving west,
for fifteen years. He owns the half
sectien now occupied by Will Myers,
~ miles south of Persia. PIERS a
Globe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Fight Will Be Bitter

Those who will persist in closing
their ears against the continual recon-
mendation of DIR Kings New Discovery
for consumption, will have long and
bitter fight with their troubles, if not
ended earlier by fatal termination.
Read what L r Beall of Beall, Miss.
has to say: Last fall my wife had every
symptom of consumption. She took
DR. Kings New Discovery after every
thing else had failed. Improvement
came at once and four bottles entirely
cured her. Guaranteed by Elliott &
Harvey Druggists. Price SOC. and 81.
Trial bottle free. dcS1
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

One of the interesting incidents
of the Pugsley trial shows the con-
scientiousness of Attorney Chilli
land. Mr. Gillilland was entering
Towslee's restaurant to order an
oyster supper hurriedly as he had
work down town. On entering he
found ju or on the case about to
place a similar order th re. Gill
illand did not want to appear in
the light of associatipg with one
OF the jurors during the trial, so
he said: "Mr. Juror, if you will
kindly bidc a while / will order
my oyster supp er and eat thereof
and get out and then thou canst
order thine. This will relieve US
both Of any suspicion and the cause
of justice will receive no scandal
from either of us sovereign citi-
zens of the great republic, see" or
words to that effect. The juror
consented to thisand he paced up
and down the sidewalk while Shir-
ley reveled in his oyster stew first.
-Glenwood Opinion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Didn.t Care to Know.

Laffan-Ive got new conundrun.
Do you know why am like a mule
with sore head?
Grofat-No; know you are, but
don't know why you are. = Chicago
Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Basil Fox yesterday bought the
SHELTON property on Mill street and
will move to the Valley sometime this
winter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

The muscles Of birds wing are
twenty times more powerful, proper
tionately speaking, than those Of q
mans arm.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
snillcd MiIk.

De cow kick de milk over lSasc she
amt got no sense Ell folks STAN roun'
Ell cry bout it kasc dey in de same fix
cz de cow.--Atlanta Constitution.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Mr. and Mrs George Kendall of Free
mont, Neb were in the Valley last
night the guests of Mr. and Mrs RI
Kendall. They went to Clarence, Is.
this morning to spend the holidays
with Mrs Kendall's parents.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

It's an easy matter to get into the
habit of meeting trouble half way
Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Mrs H E Mayhsn returned to her
home in Council Bluffs this morning.
She had been in California junction
for week the guest of Mrs Quinlan.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

IL you associate with fool, don't let
the fool control you.-Atchison Globe
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
just Like the Real Thing.
So your amateur dramatic club is a

success"
well, in one way It's real profess
sional = everybody In 1t is fearfully
Jealous of everybody else."-Phlladel-
phia Bulletin.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Attcnlcl no.

1--WE sent for you," said the old mer-
chant, Ito paint n new sign for us.
I've taken my son into partnership"
"Yes, sir" said the sign painter, "but
your son gave me the order for the sign
several days ago"
''He didY'
Yes. sir. He told me to make it
read, Job Lott, Jr., 4 Father Phil
adelphia Record.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
;.ss>sss. :

y da'lnpunira federal! i;,s,s IN lie
s"ilth iec.,''ly yl-i..i i'fes,a-n, it,'"s.s-
veil 10 coti'r re.ria < a.m. IL :
poln'mtntS. tie na,s ne. care t., | ust.
1t known Hat he n.eGG;.s with .rtl
matters, SO his yisl;.sln THE chlti nlagl-
stia;a was keis' VI, quiet. But Mir
ltn"-' VII 10, lot make Il mystery nf
sli II lr.iles and discussed Tie sui j.ct
oil his callers visit with several Per
sons. The result Mas that the story
got into the papers aid tie resident S
mysterious caller wrote llo'.s,n
that he had not discussed his yis,
III fear, he SAID, that there is leak
in the white house. The PRESIDENT
agrees that there is quite large
leak
Fireman Il \ Bond came i'm frnm
Chadron yesterday, whers he has been
running for the past six months. lie
says that is u great country up there
for railroading. 30 the Elkhorn Keeps
every nan busy they can get hold Of
Lord Kitchener has brought buck
many trophies of the south African
campaign. Two of the most interest
ing tre General l,,tha's travelling
wsg m and Long Tom. The wagon
slight and strongly bulls and was
Tilted with every possible requisite
from } handy medicine chest down to
a neat cooking apparatus The Long
Tom was badly damaged in the siege
OF Mafeking. Three feet of its m, N e
were shot away and lar ge piece blown
out of its side. The beers inyeniously
filled the breach with pieces of hard
wood and sweated collar over the
damaged section to make it air tight
and tit for service again.
Only seven Soveregns Of Europe
have heirs of their own body to sue
coed them. The emperor of AUSTRIA
the king of the Belgians and the king
of Roumania will be succeeded by
nephews, the emperor of Russia and
the sultan of Turkey by brothers, and
the presnmptiva successor to the king
of Italy heir is his cousin, the duke
of Aos'a. while the succession to the
thrones of the Netherlands aud Servla
may be regarded as in allegiance at
present. But for the sallc law, how
ever, the crowns of Russia Austria,
Italy aud Belgium would pass to di-
rect descendants of the present ruler
In the case of Turkey the succession
is regular, the snltanate passing from
brother to brother and not from father
to son.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
A Frightened Horse,

Running like mad down the street
dumping the occupants, or hundred
other accidents, are every day occur
rences. 1t behooves everybody TO
have reliable salve handy and there's
none as good as Bucklen's Arnic.
Sl!ve. Burns, cuts, sores, eczema, and
piles, disappear quickly uhder its
$ 'othing effect. 25c, at Elliott Il Har-
vey's drug store. dc3l
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Mrs George Cullivan is an Omaha
visitor tsdsy.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

During Ed Masons absence Billy
Millspaugh has the Elkhorn baggage
run and Dan WEIGH has Millspaugh's
run.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Miss Grace Hancock returned from
Grinnell this morning to spend the
Christmas holidays with her mother.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Mrs Ed Brady is visiting friends in
Omaha today.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Hugh Cook and Davy Moore are in
the clothing department of the Pee.
pies Store during the holiday rush.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Mrs ] N Fitzglbbon and Miss Anna
Fitzglbbon are Omaha visitors this
afternoon.