davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
HUMOROUS.

Selling the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
"When is the proper time to gather ap-
ples?" Tommy-"When the dog is
chained" -Detroit Free Press.
Selby-"What's the matter with you,
Smith? What are you kicking about? p
Smith-"Morse called me donkey
Selby-"I see and you are bent on prov
ing it."-Boston Transcript.
True Sorrow.-"Now, then, Tommy,
said the stern father, care you sorry?'
eyes, SIR" sobbed Tommy, who' had
been punished. "And do you remem-
Der what you're sorry for?" "Yes; I'm
sorry 'at you're so blamed cross
Philadelphia Press.
Self-Approval-"When I was a
young man 1 was too proud to ask my
father for money" remarked Mr.. Cum
rox. "Well," answered the youth with
the fancy vest, Il hate to talk about
myself; but if there is anything on
which I pride myself. it's not being
proud" Washington Star.
Husband-"What's wrong with that
house we looked at yesterday" Wife
-"It's too big" Husband-"We1l, the
one we visited to-day, then?" Wife
"It's too small" Husband-"Say
what sort of house do you want"'
Wife-'Sir! I do not propose to com
NIT f!''-Boston Post.
Bishop Williams. of Connecticut, for
many years presiding bishop OF the
Episcopal church in America, and who
lived all his life a bachelor, was talk
ing one day with a young man from
the west about tax a western state
was trying to impose on bachelors,
the tax to be increased certain per
cent. for every ten years of bachelor
hood. "Why. bishop" said the young
man, cat your age you would have to
pay about 500 a year" "Well," said
the bishop, quietly and in his old-time
vernacular- cts with it."
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
Farm for WaistcOat.

Herr Saltzmann, of Bloemfontein,
who died the other day at the age of
SO, used often to tell the following
story to his old cronies: Some years
ago he owned an estate in Griqua-
land, and adjoining it was farm
owned by w. De Beers. This far8a
was apparently worthless, for the
soil was poor and there was no wa
ter, and therefore Herr Saltzmann
was not surprised when De Beers
came to him one day and offered to
let him have the entire farm in re-
turn for an ordinary waistcoat. AS
he had no use for the farm and never
dreamed that it would increase in
value, he declined the offer. Soon,
however, magnificent diamonds were
found on that farm, and millions OF
dollars could not now buy the arid
strip which was once offered in ex-
change for waistcoat.-Detroit Free
Press,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
A CUTTING RETORT.
The Fine Presence Of Mind of an
American Who Was MistreNtel
by London Guard,

A party of American tourists were
recently passing through the houses Of
parliament in London, where the walls
of one of the halls is lined with paint-
ings, principally historical battle
scenes, relates the New York Times.
Surprising that they were hung there
TO be looked at and studied, one of the
party who had a better view of one of
the paintings, began to back. aa-oss
the room and finally dropped down or>
one of the benches covered with red
leather that line the side of the room.
Immediately one Of the guards
rushed up to the gentleman and said,
roughly: Get up. That is no place
for the like o. ye!'
Excuse me-" said the American.
''what is the trouble?"
II say-this is no place for the likes
O. ye!" reiterated tie guard
But" said the American, II am do
ing no harm. What are these seats
here for?"
"They are for the lords and the
peers, strand not for the likes O. ye,''
replied the guard.
MY FRIEND" said the American, "if
you will come over to America, to the
beautiful city of Washington, I will
take you up into the great dome Of
the capitol, where there hangs a great
painting. And I will give you an easy
chair, upholstered in plush, and will let
you sit in it as long as you wish, and
study this PARTING; it is picture Of
Lord CORVALLIS surrendering his
sword to Gen. Washington.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

A motor car was used as pulpit by
the chaplain of a British volunteer
regiment at the Colchester maneuvers.
DR.. John Mathews, pastor of the Nc
Kendree church, of Nashville, Tenn,
recently finished the first vacation he
has taken since he entered the minis
try, 81 years ago. He grieves because
no one Joined the church in the five
weeks of his absence.
An English curate who has just en-
tered the workhouse at Tiverton, after
being without employment for three
years, had made 470 unsuccessful ap-
plica tions for a place. He had pre-
viously served 20 years as curate,
but found that Wears wanted only
young men.
NJ. Michonis, French millionaire,
has bequeathed $4,000 as fund to
enable French students to study phi
losophy and religious sciences in Ger
man universities, and $4,000 more to
the College de France to provide for
a German university professor to lee
ture in Paris.
A four-storied, centrally located Y.
NJ. C. A. building has been opened in
Shanghai, China, as the Saxon depart
ment. The success of this venture is
assured by the strong financial back
ing of resident Anglo-Sa xon merchants
and bankers and by the appointment
of DIR. H. G. Barrie as secretary.
It is announced at Cornell university
that three women have signified their
intention of studying civil engineering
in that institution next year. This is
decided innovation for Cornell. Here
tofore no woman has taken that
course One woman from Rochester
several years ago completed major
part of the work in Sibley college.
She gained the sobriquet of ''sibley
Kate" by taking the foundry and
blacksmithing shop work with the
men.
Foxley parish. near East Dereham.
has perhaps the most wonderful rec
ord in England. 1t has only changed
its rector once in 40 years. In 1899
Rev. J. Sloughton took the living and
held it until 1910, when Canon Norgate,
the present rector, was appointed.
The venerable canon is himself one
of the oldest rectors in England, hav-
ing record of sc years of clerical
service He preached sermon on the
coronation of Queen Victoria and had
never had the assistance of curate
until this wear.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
ILLS CAUSED BY HURRY.
There Are Diseases That Are Attribu.
table to the Stress and Strain
of City Life.

To point to the hurry and stress OF
modern town life as the cause OF hall
the ills to which flesh to-day is heir
has become almost commonplace in
astrological diagnosis. The old-fash'
toned complaints, says the London
Lancet, might almost excite medical
mans pity, SO much do they seem to
be crowded out by those active, wide
spread young fellows, neuritis, neu-
rasthenia and whole young family
of nervous illness, the offspring of the
strained existence of to-day.
A chain is as strong as its weakest
link, and to-day it appears that the
nervous system is the weak link OF
the organism. The weakness is not
natural. It is acquired because the
strain upon this link is so often al
most constant and out of proportion
to the wearing power of the material.
Whether as generate advance lndl-
vidual nervous systems will more cas-
ily bear the labors asked from them
or not, at any rate, it may fairly be
assumed that in the early days OF
any new style of life the generations
born under an old regime have the
worst of it.
We may imagine future generations
perfectly calm among a hundred
telephones and sleeping sweetly
though airships whizz among count
less electric wires over their heads
and perpetual night traffic of mo-
tor cars hurtles past their bedroom
windows. AS yet, it must be sor-
rowfully confessed, our nervous sys-
TENS are not so callous. Some of lis
still start at the telephone ring and
find the Irregularities of the instru-
ment a source of irritation and
worry.
Fortunately, the very causes OF
nerve exhaustion so far as improved
| rapidity of locomotion may be count
ed one of them, provide one impor-
tant counter-acting feature of town
life at the present day. We are al
luding to the facility with which
those whose week days are spent in
city toll may spend the seventh in
breathing the fresh air and behold
ing the innocent joys of the rustic.
Without trains, electric tramways
and motor cars, wholesome change
of scenery and surroundings would
be scarcely possible in the limited
time availa BILE.
We do not wish to underrate for a
moment the value of parks and open
spaces-the ''city's lungs" For many
these afford the only possibility of a
Sunday in at any rate comparatively
fresh air. Those large numbers
though, who habitually find the Sab
baths rest in days wholesome ex.
ercise at some little distance from
their work-a-day center may spare q
moment from the usual condemna
tory attitude toward the hustle, rush
and clatter OF up-to-date locomotio1
to bless the emans which enable
them SO profitably to enjoy the day.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
OLD-T1ME RA1LROADING.
Early System, Which n COnnec-
ticut Station Master Prizes.

Station Master William H. Collins,
who began his career with the New
York, New Haven & Hartford road,
May II, 1s47, has number of inter
esting relics in his office in the
Union station, illustrative of the
early days of railroading in this
state, reports the Hartford Comm
Post.
The collection contains the old bell
that was used at the depot when it
was located on Mulberry street. 1t
was rung regularly five minutes be-
fore a train started, giving ample
warning of the trains departure.
This bell is curiosity in it's way.
1t would not be thought of for an
instant on account of it's dimensions,
not being half as big as an old New
England academy bell; its tone is
what lends an ineffable interest. 1t
was suspended on a spiral wire, with
spring enough in it to keep the bell
sounding for a minute or two at a
time. Old as the wire is, the spring
has not been lost, the bell and its
belongings being as nimble as in
youth. The city boundaries were MOI
as extensive in 1s47 as they are now
and there was no difficulty in hearing
the bell through the town from
boundary to boundary when it was
rung.
It was not until 1s47 that tallow
candles were given up as means of
lighting cars at night. Oil was in
troduced at that time, and with it
came the first type of lantern. The
first lantern used on the road be-
tween New Haven and Hartford is
still preserved in the collection of
relics guarded by Station Master Col
Inns. 1t weighs 6h pounds. The con-
ductor's lantern of the present
period will not exceed three-quarters
of a pound in weight. The second
type Of conductors lantern to be in
troduced was carried on the arm by
means of an iron band at the bottom
through which the arm was extend
ed. It was also heavy and awk-
ward Device In the third type the
position of the iron band was
changed, being at the top instead
of the bottom of the lantern.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
DICTATES OF FASHION,
tonne of the Latest Things In fefn -
inc Apparel for the Fall
Season.

Sleeves are getting larger at the
top and smaller at the bottom, reports
the Chicago Daily News.
Short skirts are surely growing IN
popularity. Innings separate from
the skirt have proved unmanageaoIe
with long skirts and have ADDED ? llt-
tie momentum to the movement for
short skirts.
For young girls evening dresses
white will be used this winter. The.
materials will be in most cases white
net, tulle or soft silk. The'latter ma
terials may be accordion-plaited and
have insertions of lace. The bod 5
will be made laced in the back and I
have transparent sleeves. Silver -
sue covered with tulle makes pf-e"
ty background for fine laces.
The smartest of the fall boas VIII
be of soft treble box-plaited tulIe.
they will be very wide, extending TO
the point of the shoulder, and Will
have loops and ends of velvet ribbon.
Elderly women will wear collar-shaped
ruff1es, with rosettes on the front and
cdScdulHS lTlllS. Ie1eIlHe' IuhisS
black chantilly, mingled with beaatlfui
embroidery, are the smartest OF fall
collarettes.
White serge and white cloth are to
be in great vogue during the autumn.
The favorite trimming is white wool
guipure lace and black velvet ribbon
Sometimes a touch of color will 20
added by a pompadour vest and sash.
But white gown richly embroidered
in white will have a distinction all1lt
own. It is wonder that the wearing
of handsome white wool is not always
the mode with exclusive women. since
by the nature of the case it is less
easily copied by the multitude.
A novelty in trimming is white lace
with part of the design hand-painte1
in black. This is more especially for,
evening gowns-inset, of course, like
all laces in these days-but the effect
is indescribable. It seems to be ono
Of the seasons fancies also to use
black maltese lace as trimming for
white Irish lace-as if lace could need
any decoration-but it seems to this
season, as one handsome trimming il
laid over another to get special effects
and add richness to the gown.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
WEATHER WARNINGS.
UntOward Conditions Which initiate
Against the Accuracy of the
Bureau Predictions.

Many persons speak slightingly of
the weather predictions because they
are sometimes falsified by the wealth
er which follows them. The predic-
tions are, nevertheless, usually cor
rect. But in any event, the daily bull
letins announcing probable rain OF
snow are of far less Importance than
some of the other service of the
weather bureau, and represents its
most imperfect work, says Youths
Companion.
It is more difficult to discern &C
curate]y the coming of a moderate
rain, which little affects the public
welfare, than to give effective warn
ing of destructive storm or the
sweep of cold wave. It is in noti-
flying various interests of the great
changes that the weather bureau
performs it's best work. In the cram
berry marshes of Wisconsin the
fiood-gates are usually regulated by
the frost signals, and great saving
results.
On account of the peculiar topog-
raphy of California, it is possible to
give warnings of rain with great ac-
curacy, enough in advance to enable
the owners of vineyards to gather
and stack their trays, and so save
from ruin the drying raisins. On
the South Atlantic and Gulf coast
predictions of frost seem more ac-
curate than elsewhere, and have
proved of great value to the cane
growers of Louisiana, the truck
farmers about Norfolk and the or
ange-growers in Florida. To the
shipping in all our ports, both ocean
and lake, the storm warnings are
recognized as of great Importance.
The next great step in weather
forecasting should be the discovery
of some method by which a longer
outlook into the future may be OBJ
tanned. Scientific observers do not
now profess to be able to tell any
thing about the weather more than
three or four days ahead. All their
study Of the records to see if there
be not weather curve" by which
one can tell whether a mild January
was likely to be followed by an ex-
tremely cold February or not, have
thus far proved unavailing. specula-
tions On such points are largely mat
ters of individual opinion. Perhaps
nature, like prudent householder,
has determined ia keep some secrets
invio1able.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
TO SERVE WITH MEATS.
Various Sauces and Dressings Which
Will BE Found Palatnble with
Certain Dishes.
With roast beef, grated horserad-

With roast beef, grated horserad-
ish.
Roast veal, tomato or horseradish
sauce.
Roast mutton, currant jelly.
Roast pork, apple sauce.
Roast lamb, mint sauce.
Roast turkey, chestnut dressing,
cranberry jelly.
Roast venison, black currant jelly
or grape jelly.
Roast goose, tart apple sauce.
Roast quail, currant jelly, celery
sauce.
Roast canvas-back duck, apple
bread, black currant jelly.
Roast chicken, bread sauce.
Fried chicken, cream gravy, corn
fritters.
Roast duck, orange salad.
Roast ptarmigan, bread sauce.
Cold boiled tongue, sauce tartare
or olives stuffed with peppers.
Veal sausage, tomato sauce, grated
Parmesan cheese.
Pork sausage, tart apple sauce, or
fried apples.
Frizzed beef. horseradish.
Pork croquettes, tomato sauce.
Corned beef, mustard.
Lobster outlet, sauce tartare.
Sweetbread outlet, sauce Bechamel.
Reed birds, fried hominy, white cell
cry.
Cold boiled fish, sauce piquante.
Broiled steak, maitre d'kotel butt
ter or mushrooms.
Triple, fried bacon and apple rings.
Broiled fresh mackerel, stewed
gooseberries.
Fresh salmon, cream sauce and
green PEAS.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
Bouauets in Worship.

There is a place Of worship in an
eastern city where tiny bouquets of
flowers, are, at the close of every morn
ing service, handed to each lady mem
Der of the congregation. During sery-
ice the flowers decorate the altar and
the pulpit.-Chicago Chronicle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
ScalloDed Corn.

from the cob and put into buttered
pudding dish. Melt one tablespoon
full of butter in one pint of hot milk,
season it to taste and pour it slowly
over beaten egg. Stir well, and mix
with buttered crumbs, and brown we'll
it with the corn. Sprinkle the top
in quick oven. Serve hot.-Ladies'
World. New York.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
One Pats Obedience

Patrick O'Grady was the Show
servant of his mater in whose family
he had lived for two generations.
Il believe there's nothing he'd stop
short of doing for me-" the Squire ex-
planned to friend one day affections
atty, in his presence. There was q
moments pause. Patrick looked wood
en-. "Begorra, I obey the masters
wishes, however foolish" he assented.
mildly.-London Express.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
ThouRht hi Personal.

He-The prettiest girls marry the
biggest fools, you know.
She-Am / to consider that in the
nature of a proposal?-Chicago Daily
News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
Like Book.

"Mrs. Judson says she knows her
husband like a book"
yes, and she treats him like one.'
Flows that?''
Treats him carelessly and shuts
him up.'-Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22

Pzarro the conquor Peru was one OF the n
Balboa at the OF the
and the discovery of the Pacific lie received
of
He
the Spanards
castle
governor andkil 54
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
Statistics of Education.

In education the three Slav coun-
tries-Roumania, Servia and Russia
are the least civilized. In these coun-
tries the number of those who cannot
read or write is in the percentage of
80 for every 100 of population. Among
the Latin races Spain has the least
enviable record, namely, IS for every
100; next comes Italy. with 4s to 100,
and France and Belgium, with IA to
100. In Hungary the proportion is 4a
to 100, in Austria 80, in Ireland 21, in
Holland 10 and in England 8. The
white population of the United States
counts to 100, and Scotland Z. The
countries purely German show a re.
markable reduction in the number OF
the illiterate, the German empire hay-
ing but one illiterate to every 100 OF
the population. In Bavaria, and, above
all, in Baden and Wurtemberg, there
are scarcely any. In Scandinavia
homo ignorans is species which has
entirely disappeared. - Educational
Journal "-- 49,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22
A MONKEYS SAGACITY.
After Being Mauled by q Dog, Smart
Creature Went to q Hospital
for Treatment.

From Baroda comes a wonderful
story of a monkeys sagacity. A
wild langur monkey in the canton
ment had been mauled by dog.
After it had got free this intelfi-
gent simian made it's way to the
hospital grounds, a quarter of a
mile distant. Here it rested in a
tree until evening, reports the Lon
don Express.
At seven p. M, seeing the coast
clear, it quietly came down and went
straight into the hospital, where,
without any further hesitation, it
took possession of vacant bed.
The hospital assistant tried to turn
it out, but it was of no use; and
as he could find no rule providing
for the admission of monkey pa
tients, met the case by having the
bed with the monkey on it removed
out to the veranda. The following
morning the medical officer, on his
visit TO the hospital, found that the
poor animal had been badly bitten.
He ordered some laudanum to be put
into his drinking water in order to
relieve it's suffering. The animal
drank it readily.
In the evening the doctor took a
lady and gentleman 90 see the mon
key, and they were simply aston
ished at the manner in which it was
making gestures with it's hands as
If Reckoning to the medical officer.
The monkey seemed to realize it
was being cared for, as whenever
food or water was given to it, it
quietly lifted up one of its hands and
placed it gently on the giver's, with
look as much as to say: swell, it
is so good of YOU
The bearing of the animal in all
it's actions was that of a very old
sick man. Unfortunately it died.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-11-22

would send an answer when he could,
in some way. But last night 1 was
late, and some one came just as I
reached the place, so 1 threw the
packet down, and did not know until
this morning that in my haste I
had thrown the jewel down. When
they told me that David was taken
with the jewel in his robe l put my
hand into my bosom and found what
I had done. They said twas clearly
proved that he had stolen it, for his
garments were soiled where he had
slipped and fallen. Perhaps it fell
upon the hillside and he climbed to
get it; I do not know. But he was
not guilty of the charge, my lord.
the king. Thou wilt spare him?" she
pleaded, with unsteady voice.
"How didst thou get the jewel
when the guards were at the door?
They swore that none had passed. y
IT walked to the edge of the wall
and entered by the window. Geber
sleeps heavily, and my fingers did
not waken him when I felt for the
Jewell" she said.
"Thou walked the wall! And didst
not fear!" exclaimed the king, in
establishment.
81 am blind, my lord, and have no
fear where l know the way. have
entered so since I was a little child,
and so they did not know She
knelt and raised her hands plead
ingly. swift thou not spare him, my
lord, the king? Twas my fault
alone, and I will gladly suffer the
penalty if thou wilt set him free. He
has served thee well, and | am use
less and have none to care"
..And dost thou love him well
enough to pay the penalty It I set
him free?"