Waterbury Democrat., 1902-01-27
Old c 1oucfr s
 Dilemma

There was once young fellow who prided himself on being the champion long-distance author of the world. It was his proud boast that he had once written two complete and hair raising novels of about 100000 words each within the space of six working days, and he was wont to aver with conh- dence that he could repeat the per 1 formance with one hand tied behind ! him.
 He was known to tens of thousands of youthful readers of red, yellow and pink fiction as "Old Slouch,' and he wrote of strange and weird happen ings in strange and weird places in 9 l manner yet more strange and weird.
 Old Slouch had started life as a 1 printers s.deyil'' in the office of the Fireside Reflector, but he was ann I bilious and soon became an office boy. Then he took to night school and made such progress in the three "R's' that his culture was recognized in due time by an advance to the position of copy reader, in which capacity he was called upon to read several million words i from the accomplished pen of Cali 1 fornia Charlie,'' who was at that time 1 the mainstay of the fiction department ! of the Reflector.
 His chance came one night when a messenger arrived in hot haste from the lodgings of California Charlie" to report that the gifted author was un- 1 able to finish the concluding install- { ment of his thrilling novelette, en- titled: ssThree-Fingered Steve; or, The Cowboys Curse" for the reason that he was greatly incommoded by the presence in his room of three pink and-blue zebras with yellow polka dots and six old-gold lizards with 1 purple tails.
 The editor was in despair, for the l Reflector must go to press in six hours, until the new copy reader volunteered ! to finish the story from the point I where the lizards had so incontinently interrupted it. This he was allowed to l do, and he accomplished his task with ] such success that when, few months later, California Charities acquaint- anceship with reptiles and such land- ed him in the incurable ward the fu- ture Old Slouch stepped easily and gracefully into his place.
 Probabilities never hampered Old Slouch. What his readers wanted were improbab abilities, nor would they even balk at an occasional impossibility, which was just as well. In the most successful of his works, tale of TO- i nance and adventure entitled: ''Wick- ed Bill; or, The Dauntless Hero of Bloody Gulch,' the talented author landed his people on the rocky shores of one of the Fiji islands, shipwrecked, starving, and defenseless. Up rushed band of cannibals bent on good meal. Did they getit? "Over my dead body" said Old Slouch to himself and l he wrote:
 stIt so chanced that our hero had once known Fiji islander in San Francisco and from him had learned the language of those parts. He there l fore addressed the leader of the band i in the yernacular. Amusement seized the savage cannibals. They dropped l their cruel weapons, grasped Bills horny hand, and hailed him as broth CT. They were saved!"
 But with assured success languor ' was penniless could he be induced to write, and that was why he sat one May morning with his feet upon the win dow sill, looking out over the neigh boring chimney pots, although he had l just received an urgent demand for the first chapters of ''Shivering Sara; or, The Counterfeiter's Stratagem." He had 36 cents in his pocket. Why should he toll? Why. indeed?
 It was at this moment that he had a call from his friend Jake Mosenthal, whose father ran a pawnshop around the corner. He often took delight in inquiring of the guileless. how it could be that Jake's father was his uncle. al though he himself was not related to Jake. Jake had holiday and he was planning sailing party. A friend of his had loaned him catboat that lay some few miles up the sound, and Jake and his sister were going to take a sail. Wouldn't Old Slouch join them ? Old Slouch thought of the 36 cents and guessed he'd better not.
 "Oh, come on," coaxed Jake. sIt's a fine day and Tim Monahan's going and Sally Paterson, too. Whats the matter with you, anyhow?" Had it been anybody but Jake O,d Slouch would have had no compunctions about borrowing, but he did not care to bor- row from Tilly's brother because we'll, there were reasons.
 At the mention of Tim's name. how ever, Old Slouch pricked up his ears. | He shrewdly suspected that Tim was not far behind him in his appreciation of the good points of Jake's sister Moreover, he was quite sure he could borrow from Tim certain coin of the realm. At length he decided to go and Jake departed with an injunction to be sure and meet the others at the Long Island City station at ten o'clock.
 One cent for morning paper, five cents for an elevated ticket, and three cents for ferry ticket landed Old Slouch at Long Island City with 27 cents in his pocket. He had taken good care not to be on hand first, in the hope that somebody might buy his ticket. Alas for that bright hope