The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1902-08-19
E& THE JoKESMiTH II:

S THE JoKEsMlTH ~
Miss Hltts-Do humorsts ever mako
jokes at their own expense?
Mr.. Funston--Sure AL jokes the
publishers decline are at their own ex-
pense.-Chicago News.
She-Mr. Shadows, the spiritualist.
seems to be very ardent in his belief.
He-Well, why shouldn't he be? Lots
of men / know are believers In ardent
spirits.-Chicsgo News.
An ancient old maid from Nlcaraguar
Had her hair snatched off by jaguar;
He said 1T Is plain
It Is false. yet again.
What a wicked. deceitful old hag you
are." Detroit Free Press.
Smith-It's strange how young Bliss
ful seems to be infatuated with his
wife yet.
Brown-In love yet. is he?
Smith-In love! This Is their third
child. and they've given 1t his wife's
family name for it's Christian name!
Squire's Daughter-Good morning.
Marjorie. How are the twins and
what names are you going to give
themf
Marjorie-Well. Miss. we've, decided
Ito call one Kate" and the other
'Duplikate. Punch.
This Is q snap shot OF an express
train going at the rate Of sixty-fve
miles an hour"
"It's remarkably hfelike. But why
does the smoke rise straight up from
the engine, instead Of extending back
over the train in long line?"
"Well-er-the picture was taken so
quick 1t hadn't time to do that. YOU
knOw."-Chicago Tribune.
, Laiy-You have not been ont to ser.
vice yet. therefore you have no char
cc:er
Applicant-No, mum: but I've got
three school board certifcuts.
Lady-Ah well. that Is something.
Are they for honesty. cleanliness.
Applicant-No. please. mum. Tor lit
eratoor. jeograffy. and free-'and-dror-
IN -
NJ asked ze butcher what become Of
ze stray dogs. He say re stray dog Is
terra frma.'- a
'-Terra frma. Count"
'T am re s.upede foreigner again.
monsieur. Perhaps he say ze stray dog
Is earth?"
"How could stray dog be on earth,
Count? He might"
Monsieur. ! beg re pardon! Ze
butcher say re stray dog Is ground. He
show me ze mill; sausage mill, !
thlnk."-Chicago News. s
"You are wanted around the corr
ner!" exclaimed the citisen confidently.
, The policeman laughed aloud.
" know better" he replied. when
I am wanted can't be found. Since I
have been found. can't possibly be
wantedi"
Here we see how important after ALI
& Ii to understand something OF the
formal or scholAstic logic which It has
become the fashion of modern science
to sneer at.-Detroit Journal. Il
Smith, o hotel man, and Jones. o
manufacturer's agent. were stalkinG
one day about their business interests.
II say" said Jones. however do you
use such an enormous quantity Of
pears and peachesf "Well." replied
ksmith. "we eat what We can" I'm
deedl" said the other. I'VE do about
the same In our business. "How 10
thatf" I'VE sell an order when We
can SEN II. and when we can't sell It
we cancel ik"-San Francisco Wave.
James doesn't 60 to church often,
but his mamma took him there last
Sunday. Now she wishes she hadn't.
He sat demurely enough until the
tenor, who INDUCED In dreadfulIy
inexcusable tremolo. had finished his
solo. Then he spoke up:
Mamma" he asked In shrill whis-
per. what makes the mans voice
ehaks so?" u
Hush. dear" said mamma II
don't know"
'But. mamma" the little scamp per-
sisted IN still louder whisper. "you
know when paps's voice shook the
other night you said It was. beer!"
And <hat's Why Janie's church priv
tleges have been 20 rude|y ~ OIL
San Tsancisco Exsmtner' :; X - -
/. - <, ,'' x : n IA '' n a Z ~ Z