Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-27
GOOD ADVICE.
John Quill Turns Preacher and Tells
Story With a Moral.
Sad Experience Of the Young Man Who Loved
Too Many Damsels.

Sometime ago when the world wa:
younger than it is now religious re
ylval broke out in one of the outlying
districts and the community was shak'
en- from center to circumference witt
religious enthusiasm and man or boy
who had no religious home was in pref
ty poor shedding.
| About this time 4 young man from
| the ''rhubarbs'' of the town blew in Il
| seek his fortune and rustic like the
early bird for the worm. In due course
OF time he was gathered into the fold
and stood an even chance of eventually
getting a harp. He appreciated the So
| cjal as well as the religious influences
| the church offered and become quite a
| worker. especially among the young
| people. With the ladies he was a sort
of church lion in all their festivities. In
fact no well-regulated church festival
| or picnic was complete without his
presence to grace the occasion and the
ladies looked upon him as their own
personal property and made him useful
for serving refreshments at the festi-
val in the long winter evenings and
Juggling water and keeping ants out of
the pies ut SUMMER plcnlcS.
The young man seemed to fill a long
felt want and worked in as handy as
pocket in a ladys dress. His promo
ton was gradual. From general utility
man he worked up to usher and from
usher to the dignified position of pass
ing the contribution box The latter
JOB was to his liking and he fulfilled it
with queens state.
He had happy faculty of poking the
long-handled box into the farthest cor
ner of the pew and wedding even the
closefisted out of a liberal share of their
worldly goods for the support of the
Eude heather in the foreign climes.
But this young man had one failing,
and only one, and that was his admiral
ton for a pretty face. He was not con-
tent with one. He wanted them all.
like the boy who cried for the moon,
and every new face he saw he deliber-
ately and with malice aforethought
proceeded to fall in love with it and
dream day dreams of love in a cottage
with that one particular face he had in
his mind at the time his guiding star.
He had fallen in love with about every
marriagable girl i'm the church and
talked sweet nonsence to them until
their hearts began to flutter, but none
had succeeded as yet, in landing him in
their net.
One day the church was well-filled.
the choir had sung it's sweetest the
church notices had been given out from
the pulpit. when our hero clutched the
contribution box and started on his
weekly pilgrimage up the isle to gather
in the quarters, blumijuns, and I. o.
US. He got midway up the aisle with
out mishap when the door gently
swung on its hinges and a vision of
lovliness appeared in the doorway.
With baby-blue eyes and spun-gold
hair she was new girl at
church. Our hero who was
working at the contribution box look
ed up, caught the lovely picture in it's
oak frame and straightway fell in love
with the dear girl. blue eyes and all.
From that time on he was like an au-
tomaton. He poked the box into the
pews without regard to where it went.
Alas. unfortunately for the young
mans peace of mind one of the elderly
members of the church had dropped his
hymn book and was bending over to re-
SoNCi "hCIl Tic DOA CdIIle Ills way
with a bang. His head was Just in
range and there was a collision. The
poor old deacon saw more stars in a
given space of time than the ordinary
astronomer could discover in lifeline
All the signs of the zodiac were spread
before him. The planets, Venus and
Mars were fixed stars in his mind, while
Jupiter and Saturn with a myriad of
smaller stars were travelling across the
heavens with now and then an eclipse,
visible only from his pew.
The young man murmured an apol-
ogy and jabbed the box into the next
pew. Still keeping his optics focused
on the fair vision, he finished his du-
ties as if in a trance while the choir
sang: 20 What Shall The Harvest Be-"
The young man could see his finish,
and like BelshazZar, saw the handwrit-
ing on the wall. 1t was a nervous day
for him and when he appeared at the
church the following Sunday he was in
hopes that all had been forgotten but
when he c!utched the box to start on
his regular trip, he noticed an uneasy
feeling among the congregation and in
clinaton to get out of the way as they
would from a man with paint pot on
a crowded street. He finished his du-
ties. but his heart was not in the work.
and when the annual parish meeting
vas held he rendered his resignation, to
take effect at once, giving as his rea-
son. that his eyesight was failing him
SO that he could not tell a plugged quar-
ter from a good one. His resignation was
accepted and the young man is con-
ternplating taking up his residence in
Salt Lake City. where T. or 20 wives
are not considered an overstock.
Moral: Don't make goo-goo eyes at
TOO many young ladies at the same time
or you are liable to get out of job.