The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1902-01-03

Most Would.Ds Great Officers win "0e
Way Back, sad Sit Oowa."

MOST Wonlosbe 0eeoe OfilcefS WIN "0oI
wsy Back. ssd SIT Dows."
sIr.wAY.BAcK-Tows s.s.
UP-BIrrER- CEEEK, 80
Mister Editeur: Christmas is Of
the past, and q happy New Year is|
mo more, and the glorious 4th Of
July 10 too far away in the bright
future to ss yet spend sleepless
nights over its celebration, 90 we IL
lustrious citizens Of Sit-way- back
town have concluded after mature
ldeliberstion to inform you OF the
fact that No are engaged in tho mel
ancholy occupation Of getting ready
10 electionser for somebody, for
some. kind of. flee, OF some-kind-of-
place, on some-dsy Of some month
OF the year 1902. In other words
there is going to be primary cleo
ton 10 the coming spring at Sit
way back town, and We are not only
proud Of it, but We are getting ready
for it.
Say, Mister Editeur, were you
ever At ono Of our primaries? II
not, you don't know what you
missed. We have two kinds. One
OF them We call q mass meeting,
and the other one we designate q
primary election. 1t all amounts to
the same thing, and is . distinction
without . difference. The same
man gets there anyhow.
A mass meeting is only little
slicksr than primary, but the same
machine runs it. Whenever . mass
meeting takes place in Sit-way-
back town on q certain day in GER
tain year, it always comes together
st the school-house known as the
kindergarten school. At ! O'Clock
on tho appointed day the school
bell tolls forth its mournfnl peal for
the citizens Of Sit-wsy-back-town to
come together at the Kindergarten
school 10 once more save the coun-
TRY. First to appear on the scene
lie always old Mr.. James Micawber,
who takes . front seat. Next to ap
pear is bald headed Dutch Gus,
who sits himself down in about the
third seat from the front. Now
three men walk into the Kinder
|garten school figuratively arm.in-
arm, Slow-poke, from Huntingburg,
which il . suburb of Sit-way- back
town, the Logroller, from Birdseye,
which is q suburb Of Huntiogburg,
and the Wizard, who is a candidate
for the toga. Next to climb the
steps Of the Kindergarten school is
the red headed agricultural mag
nate, who is always in Q hurry.
Then comes leisurely along tho
Committeeman, and shortly after
him enters the chronic secretary of
all the mass meetings ever held in
Sit-way- back-town Of all times with
lin the memory Of the oldest inhab-
itant. Now enters, leaning heavily
on his, cane, the man who used 70
run things but who has taken back
seat. He but comes out Of habit.
There are others Who now onter,
but they might as we'll stay at home
as far "a that particular mass meet
ling is concerned. The Committee
man now arises and calls the meet
ling to order, and before he gets
time to sit down, Dutch Gus is on
bis feet, and says he arises TO NOM
Innate the Committeeman for chair
man, which motion is seconded
this time by the Logroller, who has
grown weary of fighting, and will
|spend the rest Of his days In Sec
.|onding motions. Slow-poke now
|nominates tho chronic ink-spiller
for secretary Of the convention, not
80 much out Of love for the old man,
but rather because such . course 10
line evitsble and will lead to the same
result.
Everything is now ready for bust
|ness, With Dutch Gus in the center
|row Of benches, Slow-poke TO the
left, and tho Logroller to the right.
Motions arc made by one or t'other
Of the trio and always seconded BY
one Of the two left, and, Of course,
arc always passed BY IN unanimous
vote by those present, who often do
mot know what the motion consists
OF or what il is about. Committees
sre always appointed BY his emi-
lnence, the chairman, and always
consist Of the rsd-hsaded agricul-
tural magnats, one Of the trio afore.
mentioned, and maybe the once up.
on . great while tho old man with
the cane.
So, Mister Editeur, II you ever
want 70 ruA. for Office or want TO Be
. delegate 10 some high-talutin
CONVENTION, lot me know, and ] will
Ak Il with the machine which a.