Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1902-09-05

a couple of nips on 1t, and when he
comes out there was q mighty prom
isin'-lookin' dark cloud over toward
the western horizon.
"Jizzerin' iacksnipel" says old 81.
There's the storm I've been wantin'
to try my battery on. I'll have to
hustle home.
"They do say 1t took Sis marc
three weeks to recover from the lar
rupin' she got on the way home. 81
druv her straight to the hilltop,
where he had his guns planted,
| jumped out, lit n match, and in less'n
half a minute he was pluggin' away
at them clouds as fast as he could
get from gun to gun.
"None too soon, either. They were
very full of business, them clouds
that Jabez witched up with his
weather guns, and before 81 could
| puncture 'em some of the rain and
hail fell on his grapes.
mot enough to do any harm,
though says 81. BY the Great Bob
Tailed Straddlebug,' says he-Si prid-
ed himself on his command of new
cuss words, whether diagonal,
straight or tty-cornered-'that's a
grand invention, that cloud buster of
mine. i'll write a letter to the Buck
aloo County Whooperloo, he says,
in praise of the United States agger-
cultural department, right now. And
while I'm doin' it, he says, III watch
out for more storms, for that one
come mp mighty quick.
"Over on his hilltop Uncle Jabez
Boneset was mighty disgusted be-
cause the rainstorm he'd conjured up
never reached the hum plate. Natur-
ally he heard Sis Battery operatin',
but he didn't figure on thet amount
in to anything.
"'Thet old perrynoyack," says he,
usin' II word which he'd just dug out
of medical work, he's probably out
shootin' mosquitoes instead of poi
sonin' 'em to death with kay-rosene,
which is the progressive way. I'm
sorry for him. he says. Tomorrow
I'll git up rainstorm that'll discour-
age his shootin' and save him pow
DER
$50 next day he loaded up and per-
duced an able-bodied cloud which 81
Beezle on his hill immejitly perfor-
made n bulls-eye.
Uncle Jabez banged out two
storms, northwest and southwest.
ST did a double-barrelled trick and
both of 'em died inside the bound
aries.
"Now, you can monkey with ma
ture just so far and then she breaks
loose and rips things, and what hap
pened this time was that the high
pressure and low pressure got ia
tally mixed, and one able-bodied cy-
clone started down Sis hill and met
another able-bodied cyclone from
Jabez's elevation.
"Bein' unable to remain behind ST
went along with his cyclone and Ja-
bez accompanied his. Talk about
pergessiveness! AS 1 said before
but they never pergessed thet fast
before or since.
First thing either of 'em knew
they was butin' heads like two old
rams in the bottom of the valley.
Then says Jabez Boneset to 81
Reezle:
"'Did you shoot up my Storm
"'Was thet your storm? says 81.
" 1T certainly was,' says Jabez. 4
brung it to help my melons, he
says. It's a twentieth century no.
tion that you'll learn if you live ten
year more, maybe
can you never took thought of
my grapes. says ST.
"'An old fogy like you got no
business raisin' grapes says my
Uncle Jabez, unless he knows how
to perfect EN-
"'Then you done it, says Jabez,
very savage.
81 did, thet,' says 81, quite inde-
pendent.
"I'n hand you corkscrew
punch says Jabez.
"'And I'll lam your solo Pegasus
till you couldn't tell it from last
years tometter cam says 81.
"'Nith that they went at it. The
first pair of cyclones was bad
enough, but they was summer
zephyrs compared with the article
that the combined fghtin' powers
of my Uncle Jabez Boneset and old
ST Beezle turned out.
after half an hour of it Jabez
was lynn with his feet in the creek
and 81 was Topped up against tree.
ISL says Jabez, are you licked?
"'I Dunno says 81. Are your
"'No,' says Jabez; but I'd hate to
be any nearer than 1 am
$50 would L. says 81. Have you
got any good new, warranted pay
tent liniments that you could recon-
mendH
} "'Ive got 'em, plenty of EN- says
Jabez, but 1 couldn't recommend
'em. What 1 pine for is some good
, old-fashioned arnicky.'
"'And min of last century,