davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1902-05-22
N o m oriaI Day.

Committees are at work, and Mem
orial Day observance in Mineral
Point, will be as usual, OF the first
order.
Friday Of this week suitable ex-
ercises will be had in all depart
ments of the public schools for which
the teachers and pupils have made
due preparation. Representatives of
the Grand Army and Woman's Re-
lief Corps will be in attendance
The city school board and parents
generally should encourage this work
IL tho school by attending.
Next Sunday morning the Grand
Grand Army Post aud Woman's Re-
lief Corps will attend the j. NJ.
church, where the pastor Rev, j..
Hardcastle, will preach n special
memorial sermon, and special music
service will be rendered.
Prof. A. j. Hutton, Supt OF the
Institute for Blind at GAINESVILLE,
will be orator on Memorial Day,
the 30th, and other exercises will
make complete, interesting, and
becoming program.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1902-05-22

AT Trinity Rectory, on Thursday
evening, May %, at 1880 o'clock, to
be given by and for the Vested Choif
Boys. Admission Toe. All are invited
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1902-05-22

The farmers smile il noticeably
extended because Of the recent CO.
pious showers followed by warm
sunshine. Pastures are now IN good
condition and the prospect for bet
ter hay crop than for some years
quite favorable.
Don't waste your money on
worthless imitation of Rocky Noun
tain Tea. Get the genuine made only
by the Madison Medicine Co. A
great family remedy. $50. Eastman
d Meserole
Smoke Flamingo.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1902-05-22

Additional Locals on pages 4, 5 d s
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

Copyright 1902 by II. c. Whitney,
The usual and ordinary belief Is that
the career Of the ultimately sucoessiul
man is an uninterrupted and unbroken
series of current successes from zero
to affluence or renown. In practice
however, II appears that the progress
of the successful and unsuccessful alike
Is strewu with current mIsfortunes, hui
mutations, checks and disasters, ana
that the adventurer who shall have at
talned the goal of ultimate defeat may
nevertheless have been highly favored
Of fortune in life's journey, while the
laureled victor may have trodden the
wine press of humiliation and defeat
all Of his days but the last,
Mr., Llncolns career as q business
man may be thus summarized; After
practicIng law and living in the most
frugal and economical manner for
quarter OF century, being meantime
his own hoster and errand boy ana at,
tending TO his own woodplle coWyaru
and pigpen himself he had accumu-
lated $4,000 worth of property when
he was elected as President OF the Unit"
ed states, and having consumed his
capltal for current uses in living during
the months preceding the Inauguration
he was compelled to borrow every cent
OF money which he had In his pocket
when he started to Washington ana
Witch he repaid out Of the earliest re-
CENTS from the presidential salary .
On Jan, 8, 1853, the day Of Douglas
last election TO the United states sem
ate by the Illinois legislature, ! was
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

! VIII now afford ii qlIm,,.
opyerse face Of the medal g A. ho
few days after the inapg,,wSi lhn 1
maron T. 1860, l sat wltS O,,SSuon Of
President ana young frlon6I D (, great
OF the iireplNce, In which way ~ front
nre' IN the executive Office M ~ ,S 9 hearth
ton l had callod to ask mo "sshlhg.
our mutual young friend the sod ne glO,
snip TO sign land patents s5,Vssa,selary.
relate he had been IN oflce b msnse 10
days and yet he appeared gul,o lev
cradle and gloomy az on tho st6 ~ ~ mis-
uary, 1907, heretofore narratei ~ jan.
been unreasonably found fauli , ms had
the press and poih'tlans for tbo "Nn by
improper bestoNmcnl OF some ~" IN aa,leeti
polntments, ana his sensldvo ny az
was stirred to its profoundest 6na,QI9
IT was singular that so yirllo nrS Seplhs.
ageous a natdso in grave maui, vvuI'
should have been 80 glpersn ,at.efs
about comparative trines Ho ronsl.,o
cd our interview IN these Ido ,v'uo,
words. ut IL an awful thing I,v w l
but wish was back homo IN NV
pnd some one else was here IN ,', ,.,,
pace" III my
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

the army reminded him OF Captain
Jack Chase. who used tU pilot % small
boat through the rapids of the ILLINOIS
river while In the very midst of Che
boiling curront q small boy rugged at
the plots c0attai and shouted 'Cap'n
stop de boat, for i've lost my apple
overheard" Trivial matters amused
him equally with those of greater sta
nina. a long experience with wlt ana
hadlnago had not made callou9 or
bmnted ha sense of the lu1icr0us.
Thus at the Bloomington convention
Inc had occasion to Introduce the court
ly. polite. cS0usite Browning 10 the
coarse. irrpvcrent wentworth 'INe
heard much OF you" began the prig.
I'D much ogalnst me / rockon.'
bmrtpd OUT the b0or Lincoln was
wont to laugh over This very often.
Many of bis stories were comparisons
of the situation n hand with some-
thing that happened down in-s0We-
where That's Ike the man down In
Indiana" was the frequent Introduction,
Thus, when pftcr a long interval of sl-
enee he received news not altogether
favorable from Burnside. boieagurcd at
Knoxville, ha neither pmented at the
untoward aspect Of The news nor en-
Unused M getting news at all but
simply said, That's Ike sally Ward.
who had thirteen children that were
accustomed 10 stray out into the woods,
from the depths OF which would 0cca-
slOnally float on infantIle cry OF dis
acpr. when Sally would eNelalm
Thank heaven there's one Of my
children what amt dead yet!'
I'm order to Illustrate the moral un-
cleanliness of certain unsuyJry pollii-
clans he was reminded Of a Teller
who applied 10 physician for advice
In and about cutaneupus disease. He
needed very simple remedy, so q pre-
scnpuon was given him somewhat
thus "R Snpon. CASTLE OF, 3, Aqup
pure gal. iq Misce Apply TO all
PARTS OF the body With q sponge ana
vino dry with a towel" That simply
means washing metz exclaimed the
dirty sufferer. 1T certainly 10 open TO
that objection, replied the physician.
In a similar vein he took the starch
out OF yainglorl0us applicant for q
minor office who. IN order to magnify
his Importance hove IN quite unneees-
sarily the suggestion that he eprang
frOm one Of the leading families OF
Vermont Never mind said the jo-
cose President. chat won't be very
much against you
So, In order to Illustrate the wen
known aphorlsm that the remedy pro
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

hlstoryand therefore refer you to Sew
ard for details but all that | do recol-
leot Of the precedent you cite Is that
Charles lost his head In the end That
was answering q fool according 10 his
folly and Is the best instance Of apt re-
partee on record
Now the essence Of the first Of these
River queen jokes was pure fun and
nothing else, while the essence OF the
last one was strictly utllitarian-was
absolutely demanded by the situation,
II put Hunter and his proposition out
of the ring put him TO sleep TO use
modern slang. II ended the Confeder-
ate's function completely, But he some-
times went further In vanquishlng an
OPPOSITION than the bounds Of good hui
NOR required. Thus, when a deputa-
ton or rich men from New York walt
IN on the President In O dark hour of
the nations trlbulation, begging for
a gunboat 10 protect New York harbar
he manifested the utmost Impotence
and almost paralyzcd them with this
reply. IL am strnining every nerve to
meet the requirements Of the army and
navy at the front, and ! have no gun
boat 10 give you; but II I was half as
rich as you half dozen men are and as
scared as yau pretend to be ] would
furnish the gunboat myself Instead of
begging the government for what II
amt got 20 spare"
He very rarely made either himself
or any else a butt for Joke, and
certainly never in malice Hts humor
uas usually lmpersonal, Once, how
ever e city Point a little discussion
arose az to what religion llallect |
think. prCia-sed. ~ think he's an Epis-
copallan.' said lincoln because he
swears Just Ike Seward does and Sew
ard So an EplsC1pali3n,'
More In unison with his methods
was his story TO Illustrate why he did
not an certain vaca cies. thus; A boy
was making n ohurc1 out of mud,
Having got II substantially completed,
he was asked why he dld not mako a
minister for IT, "Kase | hain't got no
mud left" was the obvious answer
In a similar vein, when dash OF the
enemy cost the government three brig
aides generals and "A lot of army mules,
he lameued the loss NJ the mules cN-
planning That he could replace the gen.
erals by a dash of the pen, but max
the mules would cost we'll on 90 hun.
bred dollare apiece,
But his sarcasm was so inlrelucnt
and withal so mild as 10 scarcely dee
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08
Lincoln's Appearance.

Lincoln was as unusual in re,eoo,,
appearance as in character Ha rsa
muscular In frame, G feet 4 Incho, t,T
and weighed about $50 pounds ~,
hair was black and luxulant oyo,
brown. nose long and mouth large
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08


roundings, even. were eloquent of Fat,
prosaic failure, | found him utterly
alone and sitting In an old rocking
chair doing absolutely nothing but
prooding over his griefs and political
discontinue, lie was In his Office, one
OF the most neglected and ungarnshed
offices In the state,
My feelings We're in unison with his,
and our conversation was as cheerless
and dismal az the somber and melan-
tholy surroundings. and yet in twenty
two months from that dolefu and
gloomy day this recipient Of fortunes
frowns had sounded the highest note
IN the gamut Of ostenslble and appar-
ent success for l,S57Gl0 citizens, EN-.
braclng the elite OF the nation, had
elected him to be the ruler Of 100000
people.
And his early career as politician
may be thus exhibited on April "a,
1882, he was elected to his first office
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

"whiskey" case, wncn Lincoln. bored
beyond endurance, said % wish he
would quit, for I'm afraid the jury
viii agree, so as to get here to hear
that speech But this Bit Of sarcasm
was richly deserved
In Ike manner during the war tht
persistent claims ~ cove prrtcrNed
Union men for forage etc. taken b!
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

that Of cap
tain Of "A COM
pany In the
Black Hawk
war In 1888 he
ran for the leg
islature and was
defeated, but he
was elected cur
rently there
after for four
successive legis-
ldtiNe terms. IN
1884 he was APP
pointed by Pres
ident jackson as
postmaster Of
the inconsider-
able hamlet Of
New Salem and
by John Cal
houn to the in
consequ e II tial
position OF dem
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

posed by the
situation was
worse than the
exigency 1t was
supposed to
cure, he was
reminded OF the
man down in
DanVille who
had occasion to
head up a hogs
head but did
not clearly dis
Germ how 10
keep the head
in position
while he tight
ened the slaves
by driving the
hoops d o W n,
but a brilliant
e x y e dent
struc X hi m.
He then placed
hiu unupg CON
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

ing that same
year while the
political canvass
was at a white
heat A Jealous
Republican In
Monticello, in
Piatt county,
wrote Lincoln
several earnest
invitations to
come there and
speak, assuring
him Of a good
turnout. Lin
coin, after ad-
dressing a very
large meeting
at Bloomington,
went 10 Month
cello 10 fulall
the ardent hopes
OF his corre-
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

NiOiit WIN hlt
Lincoln from 2
o'clock till late
bedtime, and !
feel authorized
70 say that no
man In the state
was so gloomy,
detected a n d
dispirlted and
no man so sure
ly and heartily
deemed his life
10 have been an
abject and la
inevitable failure
as he then con-
sldered his 10
have been. /
never saw any
man so radical
ly and thor
o ug h ly d e .
pressed. so COM
pletely stepped
In the bitter wa
tiers of hopeless
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08
ANNSNANNALNlANISAAANNNkN

inspiration Of his action to achieve
their browning merit, and as to the cs-
sence Of humor Carlyle aptly says that
"the essence Of humor IS senslblliiy-
warm, tender fellow feeling, with all
forms of existence. Unless
seasoned ana purified by humor sens-
billty win readily corrupt into
disease, falsehood or senti-
mentality"
Ana Mr.. Llncoln's penchant for hui
NOR was not an inane diversion, but
was the fringe and passementerie OF
great crisis IN government.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

IN the hogshead. whore his height
Just served to keep the recalcitrant
heading In place, when he adjusted the
head properly, and the experiment
seemed to be q success TIL the impris-
oned boy yelled, Let me out OF herel"
once he came In official contact with
Judge baldwin, the author Of the hui
morous book so highly priced by Lin
coin Flush Times In Alabama" Had
be known who his distinguished visitor
was his reception would have been diff
ferent for the President cherished a
real humorst above all men. The
Judge was born and bred In the Shen-
andoah valley and migrated first TO
Alabama, whore he wrote this book
thence to California. where he became
chief justice Of the state, and, seeking
IN 1868 to revisit his childhQods home,
came on 70 Washington and applied
FIRST 10 Justice Field, then to Halleck,
both OF whom he well knew, TO gain
the needed permission, but. being cir
oumyented by Stanton, he, conveyed by
Justice Field, sought the aid Of the
President, who asked IL he had seen
stanton. Yes,A ne had and had been
contemptuously turned down. Then, "
said Lincoln, Il can't help you, for I'VE
very little influence with this admins
tration'
He was accustomed 10 narrate this
experience while he was IN Congress
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08


Sangamon county. He was an unsuc-
cessful Competitor for a nomination for
Congress in lA4-if not also before
ana in the year 1916 he was both nomin-
| Gted for and elected to a seat In Con-
grcss.
On May 20, 1855, Mr., Lincoln made his
renowned speech before the Blooming
| ton convention, known to high fame
| as the lost speech" which was the
| highest oratorlcal triumph that had
been exhibited IN the political arena In
Illinois Up To that date. II placed him
| on the highest pinnacle Of fame as an
| lmpassloted and effective orator Three
days thereafter he and Herndon, his
law partner, deemed II proper to ratfy
the proceedings Of the convention at
! which such marvel Of political oratory
| had been achieved, and accordingly at
Springfield Lincoln's own home, Hern-
don got out huge posters and at quite
| an expense engaged a band Of music,
rang the bells and employed all the
means which enthusiasm and enterprise
could suggest In order to attract large
audience, including the then primitive
practice Of blowing horn, The hall
Of the House of representatives was M
up to its full capacity and no effort
was omitted to insure success In that
enterprise But the evening advanced.
and up to late hour but one man came
except Lincoln and his partner the
ever faithful Herndon Lincoln some
what amused and quite chagrincd.
made brief speech, thus; Gentlemen.
this meeting Is larger than | knew Il
would be- ! knew that Herndon and
myself would come, but did not know
that anyone else would be here, and vet
another has come, you, John Pain.
These are sad times and seem out of
Joint All seems dead--dead dead But
the age IS not dead. II lives as sure as
our Maker lives. Under all this seeming
want of life and motion the world does
move, nevertheless. BE hopeful and
now let us adjourn to the people"
And thus, as has Outlines been dem
onstrated In history, the aphorism that
"a prophet Is not without honor but
In his own country and among his own
kin and In his own house" was again
| verified In this case, for this man.
whom in June. 1856, his own neigh
bors rejected, four years later the SOW
ereign people OF the nation made the
headstone OF the corner.
This subject may be further ilustrat-
| ed by an incident which occurred dur
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

NE|N I IIlI| ..H.
relation once
In rbuproigr
counfy Vnb1I
iurv o,f I'm
murder ras.
which, v, f,r5,,
hope5 yo,,lJ
disarre,' os
there ,yae Yn
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

oxubcrant humor and Immediately
thereafter being plunged into the clm-
merian darkness Of the most dense
aud impenetrabe melancholy what
he felt and experienced during the reg
nancy Of the latter condition VIII
never b. known or even Intelligent.
~ coujeeturol His somber MOOD
was Tie Noicelcsg tomb OF cXprea-
sion and condolences bat he shared
the 2est and cxhilarution of his eXcur.
slons 10 the shrine Of Thnlia on the
fame Of Joe Miller with an mankind.
SO Gar as dignity and the fitness Of
things arc concerned. the outside world
mlght consider hat boz missed jokes and
business too intimately IL certainly
docs not aunpar 0tdug that he should
introduce the t'gsj reading OF the oman
clpation proclamation 10 hls cabinet
with Artrmus Wards story of high
handed outrage at Utica bul we can't
know TO what extent the strain ~ for
mul1ling SO mighty mn Cvont was neu-
tralI2ed by brief Hojourn In the
realms Of nonsense
EQUALLY doubtful If true, was The
proprloty Of his alleged response TO
Lord Lyons upon the diplomatic en-
counter TO announce the incident Of in
ternauonal import--the marriage Of
the Prince OF Wales TO the formal
speech of the cmbassador announcing
the august event the great president is
reported to have replied to the bache-
Tor minister. Lord Lyons, $50 thou
and do likewise" IL such an incident
happened It Is not garnered except by
the left hand Of history, but 1t IN strict
~ Lincolian and might well have hap
pened anyway. Great and solemn oc-
caslons ala not repress or deadon his
propensity to Joke Thus at the
Hampton Roads conference, as he and
Seward entered at one end Of the small
cabin Of the steamed River Queen he
saw the dminutiye stevens at the
other end In the act Of emerging from
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

spondent Reaching town, he gought
out the residence cf his enthusiastic
correspondent where he found him
working with his drawknlfe, while hIs
wife was industrlously getting dinner
for their distinguished guest, After din
ner Lincoln and his lmprovlsed host
started for the grove which was TO be
the scene Of the meeting, their way
leading through the village, The man
was almost staggering under the
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

a huge OvercOat
said he soto
voce 20 Seward
did you ever
see such a little
nubbin IN such
a big shuck p
So, too, during
the progress OF
that famous con-
ference, when
NJ H. r. Hunter
urged the Presi-
dent TO treat
with the Con
federates, citing
the example Of
Charles | as a
precedent, the
= r G 8 / d @ II {
promptly replied
AS to that /
don't pretend to
be well yerspd In
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08
now Llnooln Fad a noard nIII.

While Mr.. Lincoln was studylu- law
at Petersburg. ILL.,, he and Il friend
named Hanks, also law student
boarded at Alfred Gordun's house. lie
was an old friend Of the Lincoln fam
fly. and as he did not charge the young
men anything for board they under
took to make rails enough for his two
farms
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

weight Of the
flag and It's
staff,and Lincoln
did not realize
the righteousness
of the situation
until he heard
some Of the
town p @ o p @
commenting up
ON the "long
procession II
being Lincoln
and his solitary
friend, each Of
them being over
six feet tall But
there was no
meeting. The
town, Ing
composed chief
~ Of Kentucki-
ans, rejected his
political Ideals
and by precon-
cert systemat-
ically and unit
eddy kept away.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

Upon an coca
sion Of tellers
being somehow
ordered on an
u n m p or taut
matter a pudgy,
bibulous mem
Der started in a
zlgzag, bachan
allan gait from
the rear OF the
house down the
center aisle.
making strenu
Gus efforts 10
keep his head IN
line, las II h(
had a drop OF
sweat on tn,
end OF his nose
which he wa,
afraid W ulC
drop on" TO us,
Lincoln's owl
words The sigh
was so ludicrOui
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08
i've very little lnnu-
enro with this admin
i,tratlon,"


that the general
attention was fixed on this staggering
ieNoine OF Bacchus, and no member
attempted 90 follow, but when hp
reached the telers he. suspectlng
somcthing to be wrong, carefully turn
Ing his head and realizing the comic
situation but which was not so com
zeal 10 him said "0h h-li" ana with
drunken gravity staggered hack 10 biz
scat The house roaring with gloe,
IL was stated az the time that Ben
Wade, chairman OF the committee ou
the conduct Of the war. called Co com,
plain of something when Lincoln siari
cd to say "rhat Is Ike the story
when Wade roared out: Eyes. rs alI
story, story. story and the country
going 10 h--li. II amt q mile from b
this mnutei" Just the distance La
the carpito said the amused President
as the irate senator rushed out irvine
to put his hat on the floor and his cane
on his head.
As to theform Of humor. Mark Twain
IN his essay on How to Tell a story
says Il depends entirely on the manner
OF its narration while wit derends On
he essence of the matter And thls as
iinciton ~ '.ai I-IAnUc as aalat5 4,
! Lincoln, FOR even his stories need tho
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

"a r. r. LTNcoLN's career cxem'
1. !. 4. !. 4. !. d. !. ]. !.
M plides the truth and aplnes'
va Of the poetIcal trope that
man is pendulum be-
tween n smile and tear"
he at one moment being Civ
en- over TO the abandon and
" license Of unrestrained and
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1902-02-08

He was accustomed TO narrate this
eNperence while he was IN Coneress
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1902-05-24
DEMOCRATS PLEASED.
Want Fight Kept Up BY AddickS LIN Del
aware Hoping Thereby to Control Next
Legislature.

\ special from Wilmington says: The
Democrats are jnhilnt over tn" pros
poets of Addick> staying i'll the fight for
Senator. If h" insists on running Il
straight | nlon Republican ticket all
through IN" State. the next Delaware
Legislator" will probably Ice Democratic
hy ten or eleven majority.
lh" ll"u>" would b" composed of about
tW"niN-"n" Democrats and fourteen Re
WbHcHn>. The Senate would be made
up OF something lk" ten Democrats and
>"v"n Republicans.
80 New Castle county he could carry
hrl ~" iiStrict-th" Second Representa-
tive" which gay" Samuel II. Baynard Il
m1J"rtv of S!ti. Th" Regulars can prob
'h.t via over tn" combined forces of
Democrats and mons i'll the Third aus
ll1rt II having Republican majority of
m"r" than 200
Tia" Regulars might also win in the
Seventh, which CAV" w. X. Finn 2iO
majority at the last election. More than
likely tn" Eighth district. which gave
lf!lin% 2'il majority two years ago.
would be Regular, In all tn" other dis