The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-10-21
GENIUS.
A New L~uminary I'm the Literary
Field - The k~nockinEs OF the
knOcker.

AIlU now ITOIH aSnlIiRl OH county
and the town of Blair comes the latest
aspirant for notice and the most recent
candidate for the title genius"
Will A. Campbell, printer. editor. hu-
man being, and genius, saw the light of
day first in some obscure little Nebras-
ka town. He grew up like other chill
dren of Nebraska towns. obtained some
schooling, and began to scramble for a
living when he was yet at a tender age.
There was always something the mat
ter with him. He knew 1t. and others
knew it, but he never knew what it was
until he started a little magazine called
the knocker, and hen 1t developed tina
he was a genius.
In the initial number of his literary
venture the young scribe relieved him
self of twenty-six articles of faith,
which have been eagerly perused by Il
large number of readers. Some of these
articles follow:
Il knock on the self-righteous. They
are usually people who by worldly sue
cess AVE crowded into view. The best
we can do is to be %virtuous as possible.
II knock on the social rule that per-
mits a woman to cover indiscretions of
other days with a sealskin cloak. A
woman has a right to live it down. but
a rich woman should nave no shorter
probation than a poor one.
Il knock on the man who tells chill
dren that there is no Santa Claus. The
tragedy of life begins when faith de-
parts, and the man who will hasten the
departure is related to the devil.
Il knock on the knocker who knocks
On his wife. A man who Spect not
the mother of his own children respects
not himself. His plant that she has
not kept up with him fools nobody. He
has his eye on another woman. In the
Greek for better or for worse mean
take your medicine
Il knock on the social pest, whose So
cial rating is a hat full Of prunes, and
who passes by old frienus. He is a snob.
Trace him back to his father and yOull
find a rabbit.
Il know on the woma who nags her
husband. More men have gone to hell
by this route and picked up correspon-
dents along the a than by any other.
Il knock on the American girl. This
girl who has been raised in a cultured
home; who possesses both talent and
accomplishment; who has grown into
a Womanly woman and is too worthy
for any young man, but who casts her
life by her own choice with a smooth
u whose brains are worth two cents
a pound for soap grease-a descendant
of a long line of half-WitS; a dizzy
young OuOe TOO lazy 10 Work W" 700
cowardly to steal, too eVerlaStingly
''onery' to raise a respectable crop 81
wild oats; a young lollipop ribbon clerk
on 81 per and a monopoly on the gall
Of the globe-that is the kind of ApolloS
American girls admire, and it would
give a buzzard a bilious attack.
81 knock on the mother-in-law who
goes padded with advice. She is not SO
many as some make out, but like the
bad egg in the dozen, it is tough on the
man who gets her.
II knock on the pessimist. He is an
Ishmaelite and tells disagreeable
truths. The thing to do is to join the
procession and stand for the things
what is
II knock hard on the bum-the legiti-
mate offspring of civilization. He never
pays taxes, but makes a monthly tour
in search Of a soft snap, where wages
are higher. He knows t. e road to every
joint, and. his example artistically es-
cortS the youth to damnation. He
SCOTS at the church., defes good citi-
zenship, and ruins the community. The
man who will not work heads the eX-
cursion to hell. May the Lord lave
mercy on his soul.
Il knock On the man who knocks on
this magazine. He is an intellectual
dwarf, a parody on manhood, and is in
for a roast in the next issue.
II knock on the little pothouse politi-
clan who poses to run the whole Elec-
toral college and point out wiser men
their duties. He is a bore and don't
know a fundamental principle from his
funny bone.
st knock on trying to reform fallen
women by taking them over to the no.
lice a la Better put some
lucre into the work instead of support
ing missionaries to peddle saving grace
in pagan lands who incidentally extend
the market for tobacco, mid jewelry
and forty-rod bug juice.
Il knock on the 'philanthrOpist who
losses a million or so TO some consplc-
Gus charity and mex day corners \
human necessity. He don't fool o
II knock on the subject of pupet
Kings and Dukes who come to this
country and breed discomfort and an
atchy by kicking on the government.
To live in America is to be a king.
Il knock on the man who gossips. The
guy who tells his troubles to others in
stead of keeping them for home con-
cumption. If he was UP to the moral
level Of the NANCY coyote or the intel
lectual altitude of an acephalous
kouze I would give him more space,
but he's too small fry.
II knock on public OSCILLATION. A
man should have some sympathy for
bystanders-even il he dom know they
are by. Such ~offenses are against the
noble in man and modest In woman.
These osculatory demonstrations Of es-
TEEN should be reserved for the holy
Of hollies and not be permitted in we'll
regulated parlors. We know a young
man whom we would like to take out
behind the smokehouse and cause him
to pass to the untimely bourne where
all faces stand ajar in everlasting sing
ing.
IT knock on the modern song writer.
Ha halle ~. &Ho ENn01;ch onpTraOa and
his verses are without rhythm or sense.
st Knock on a girl who is christened
Mary changing her name to May, then
to Mae, and then finally to Mai. Such
an evolution is ridiculous. 1t is done to
attract attention, and is nauseating and
fyeakish. Florida imes-Union.
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