The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

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Good heavens, How the sun does shine !
continentr"-Neggendorfer's Blaetter.
looked In the glass to see II his white neck
tie was on straight.
TT does seem a little inhospitable." re-
piled his wife.
Not only that. Why should he neglect
such a splendid excuse for not going 10
grand opera:'-Washingjon Star"
Why He wept.
why are you crying, little boy?'
zone OF them artists paid me a dime TO
sit on the fence while he sketched me-"
well. Is there any harm in that
Yes. s-sir: It was barb wire fence
Philadelphia Record.
An Annoying Question.
Teddy: Mamma. Tommy knocked me
down on the way home from school to-
day. (After n pause). But 1 gave him a bat
i'm the eye,''
Mamma: Before he knocked YOU down.
Teddy. or afterwards" Sommervi,!e
Journal.
Less Trouble.
"ChOlly Chubbs is raising a mustache,'
said one young woman.
II hadn't observed It," said the other.
Probably not. He's raising ii on his val
ct. Net nearly so much trouble. and he can
watch 1t grow"-Washington Star.
Fro,, Had to Worse.
Myer: II b.ii-se We will follow the same
occupation In the next world that W. do
here on earth"
oyer: Get out, What would plumbers do
In a place where the water pipes couldn't
~freeze-even IL there was any water
Chicago News
Aren't you glad you are living in this
age of invention exclaimed the thin man
with the wart on his nose.
Cant say 1 arn." replied the hald-headed
man. You see I married a widow. and
she's got n photograph that she Ia forever
having grind out records that her first hus-
band made."-Brooklyn Life.
you admit that ycu are n tramp. do
youg' said the eminent counsel to the
witness.
Yes, sir"
Tell this jury. cir. why you lead such
a worse than usless life"
THE explanation is simple. ! am too
proud to work and too honest to become a
lawyer."-Detroit Free Press.
May: who is your favorite artist?
Jack: "Fate!' May: You don't call Fate
an %ar.ist?" Jack: Certainly, Didn't she
draw us together""-Chicago Daily News.
Photographer: Vow. I want YOU TO
look as IL you were not i'oving your
picture taken.' Customer: Then you'd
better give me back the deposit 1 made
in advance."-Life.
Mr.. Bacon: "I see BY this papsr that
Ice one and one-half inches thick will
support a man." Mrs. Bacon: II always
said there was an enormous profit in
ice. John."-Yonkers Statesman.
My dear" she said to her invalid hus-
band. you haven't forgotten that seal
skin saak you promised me. have you"'
How can you think of such things" he
protested. with death so near to me?'
But. my gracious, Sealskin Is quite
fashionable for mourning.
Record.
Inexperienced and Anxious Mistress: "The
new housemaid. Maria, Is a Catholic; but
1 hope you will not allow any religious con-
troversy in the servants hall"
Cook with much dignity: You needn't
have any fear. my lady. In really igh-
class families religion Is never mentioned"
Punch.
What IL heredity. asked the
little girl. spelling the word out through
her falling tears and waiting TO write down
the meaning.
1T Ism. how shall I explain IL, Oh.
said the mother. something you get from
your father or me-" And the small child
wrote down on her paper of homo lessons:
"Heredfty-spanking."-Tid Bits.
It Was Different.
Mrs. Manning: DO you know. I hate .
liar.
Aunt Hannah: And yet, Mary, how
sweetly you smiled when Mr.. Soper de-
clared you didn't look q day older than s."
Boston Transcript.
Apt Comparison.-"When I see what Bar
low accomplishes I am forced to admira-
tion,' said Bunting. HE has great physi-
cal endurance" Sure" replied GargoyIe.
That man has the constitution OF a debu-
tante.'-Harper's Bazaar.
Uncle George: Come. Dick. why don't
you shake yourself together and get to
work at something? Industry. you know,