Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1902-11-21
RESCUED JUST IN TIME.

:.
kiss again in tears" and smooth over.
their little Observation-Disclosures. after what
happened early Thursday morning. it Is
because Mr.. Parks does not know a good
wife when he has one. BY way OF ex-
| oreiurn. however. It should be stated that
Mr.. Parks is not oil he should beat
least. his neighbors think so, and neigh
bors generally know. Everybody likes
Mrs. Parks. but not SO with her man,
For some time past 1t has been whisper,
ed about-and in q pretty uproarious way,
too-that Mr.. Parks was not faithful to
the nice little woman who legally and
morally has the exclusive right to his
Affections These runors and surlnises
whether just or unjust. crystalized Thurs
day morning by the organization OF a,
band OF White Caps. who called at the
Parks domicile in what the rural cores
pondents fondly call 1.-The wee sma' hours =
and invited the slcep-stupe.ied husband
to HE with them over hill and dale to
neighboring stretch or woods. The So
porferous influences naturally incident
to such early risings were not the only
things calculated to mar Parks pleaIf
sure. for such was the cordially Of the,
White Caps that they hurried their VIC
tim off on his outing in nocturnal cos:
tune which he WOULD blush to wea" I'M:
der ordinary circumstances. If the scant-.
ness of the unhappy captive's attire. to-
gether with the waspishness OF the 'na'u.t.
final breezes. caused him to caleulats
on a premature winter there should be 10
one to blame him, for assuredly he was.
not dressed like an EsquimauX Upon
reaching the woods. however Parks DC
held a sight which under other conditions
might have delighted his soll-to wit, :
a fire-but a moment later all his hopes
of pleasant warmth were shattered IN
word he saw boiling cauldrons Ihen,
HI, shifted the wholesome DOOR o. tar III
he had ever haa any doubts rs to tEe-
uses to which this vegetable product
might be put. these doubts were banlshz
ed when he saw the White Caps dipping
brushes In the molten black of the ket-s
ties. It was then that the wayward Parks.
realizing that it was proposed
that he should be the victim.
Of a most unpopular branch of decorative
art, rent the diaphanous veil OF dawn
with a piteous Shrek. But to no avail.
They stripped hinl-a very simple process
under the circums strapped
him to a tree The paint brushes were
dipped into the jet cauIGronS. and then
Mrs. Parks, the aggrieved wife. ar
rived on the scene. Yea, arrived like q
thousand of brick and made things hum.
She screamed as only women can scream;
she threatened as only those who wear
petticoats can threaten; she routed the
White Caps then and there. and, veri-2
table tirebrand herself. scattered the.
fires on which the kettles were boiling
LastIr-oT, rather, next to the last-SHe;
lit into the bags Of feathers which were
to be used in the final adornment of her
husband and sent them t7uttering helter-
SHELTER There were protests and threats. :
oLJurgations. and inlprecations. but the
vifely fury overcare all obstacles. Parks
escaped his coat of tar and feathers. He
is full Of threats now. but his neighbors
predict that he will bulge with repent-
ance when he thinks the matter over. ~
Parks ct uXor are not the only indl-
viduals who have objected to that tinle-t
honored hon1ely, but diGnined old insu5a
tuition, known as tar and feathers 1t :
has exercised its salubriouS influences
over erring mortals for centuries and
has set many an ignoble American citi-
zen a-scraring his hide. And be it said
that the beuefciaries Of such tenacious
garments have usually been victims or
something more than passing contempt.
TIE honor is usually conferred by organ
lied bands who represent the hatred Of
whole neighborhoo6s. Unknown insiGnifi-
cants are ,ver tarred and feathered.
One has TO be universally obnoxious to
hope for the honor But it was not al
ways so. We are told that this form OF
punishment. which is as old, at least,
ms the Crusades, was once melted out
to common law-breakers In Hakluyt's
Voyages Volume IL. we find the follow
ing, which shows that tar and feathers
are entitled to respect for their old age,
if nothing else. Note the quaintness and
the cruelty of it:
Concerning the lawes and ordinances
appointed Dy 1A. tllCnafu l Tor MS N1ule
Gan. 1889 the form thereof was this f. /. .
Item, thiefe or felon that hath STOLEN
being lawfully conuicted. shall haue his
head shorne and boylng pitch powred
vpon his head. and feathers or downc
strawed vpon the same whereby he may
be knowen. and SO at the first landing
place they Shall: come TO. there to be
cast vp
Whittier. too, in mis- Skipper Ircson's
Ride makes lis allusion to the adhc-
sive virtues OF the compound we have
described:
odd Floyd Ireson. or his hard heart,
IarTed and feathered and carried in
cart
BY the women at Marblehead!,"
But. after ALL the subject is painful
one TO dwell, upon--or rather to dwell
with-and we wish to point moral rather
than be historical. Husbands should
take warning from, Parks and wives
should initiate his noble consort who is
a paragon Of forbearance and loyalty.
-------@---
THE STRIKE ARBITRATION.
1t is no less true than regrettable that
the coal arbitra ton commission doae ,o+ !