The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1902-05-05
CUNNINGLGLY wORDED PARA
GRAPH COVERED HOAX
He Explains to His Enquirers The
True and Inward Meaning Of the
Motionless Winged Oesophagus.

around, and save me some penmanship,
for l have already replied to the same
question more than several times, and
am not getting as much holiday as l
ought to have.
l published a short story lately, and it
was in that that l put the oesophagus.
l will say privately that ! expected j.
to bother some people-in fact, that was
the intention,-but the harvest has been
larger that l was calculating upon. The
oesophagus has gathered in the guilty
and the innocent alike, whereas l was
only fishing for the innocent-the inno-
cent and confiding. l knew a few of
these would write and ask me; that
would give me but little trouble; but
was not expecting that the wise and
the learned would call upon me for
succor. However that has happened
and it is time for me to speak up and
stop the inquiries If 1 can, for letter.
writing is not restful to me, and l am
not having so much fun out of this
thing as l counted on. That you may
understand the situation, l will insert
a couple of sample inquiries. The first
is from a public instructor in the Philip
pines:
Santa Cruz, Ilocos Sur. p. I.
February 49, 1902
My Dear Sir: have just been reading
the first part of your latest story enti-
Story" and am very much delighted
with it. In part ", page 264, Harpers
magazine for January, occurs this pas
sage far in the empty sky 4 solitary
'Oesophagus slept, upon motionless
wing; everywhere brooded stiffness, Sc
renity and the peace of God" Now,
there is one word l do not understand
namely, 'oesophagus." My only work
of reference is the STANDARD Diction-
btfE "a To- 9 tp a. a q n
ing. If you can spare the time, l would
be glad to have the meaning cleared up,
as | consider the passage a very touch
ing and beautiful one. 1t may seem
foolish to you, but consider my lack OF
means away out in the northern part
of Luzon.
Do you notice? Nothing in the para
graph disturbed him but that one word.
| 1t shows that that paragraph was most
was my intention that it should READ
plausibly, and it is now plain that 1t
does; it was my intention that it should
be emotional and touching, and you see,
yourself, that it fetched this public in
/ structor. Alas, if l had but left that
one treacherous word out, l should have
scored scored eVerywhere and the
paragraph would have slidden through
every readers sensibilities like oil, and
1 left not a suspicion behind.
The other sample inquiry is from
| professor in a New England university.
1t contains one naughty word (Which L
cannot bear to suppress), but he is not
! in the theological departing T., so it is
no harm:
Dear Mr.. Clemens: Far in the empty
! sky a solitary oesophagus slept upon
motionless wing"
1t is not often l get a chance to read
much periodical literature, but l nave
! just gone through at this belated period
| with much qualification and ediiicatOn,
| your Double barreled Detective story
But what in hell is an Oes DPnugus! [
| keep one myself, but it never sleeps in
the air or anywhere else. My profess
| sion is to deal with words, and OesO-
! pnagus interested me the moment l
| lighted upon it. But as companion
OF my youth used to say, I'm be eter-
nally cO-eJernaIIy cussed" if l can
make it out, is II Joke, or an ignor-
| anus?
| Between you and me, 1 was almost
ashamed OF having fooled that man, but
for pride sake / was not gong to say
! so. / wrote and tod MIN it was
| joke-and that is what l am now say
| ing to my Springfield inquirer. And L
| told him to carefully read the whole
! paragraph, ana he would md not q ves-
| tige OF sense in any dean of it, TINS
also 1 commend to my springfield in
quirer.
have confessed. l am sorry-partidl-
| ly. l will not do so any more-tOr the
present. Don't ask me any more ques
lions; let the Oesophagus nave a rest
on his same Old mouoness wing.
MARK TWAIN.
New York City, April 10, 1902.
| The Double barreled Detective Story"
which appeared in Harper's Magazine
! for January and February last, Is the
most elaborate of burlesques on detec-
tive fiction, with striking melodramatic
| passages, in which it is difficult to de-
tect the deception, so ably is it done.
But the illusion ought not TO endure
, even the first incident in the February
number. AS for the paragraph which
has so admirably Illustrated the skin of
Mr. Clemens ensemble and the care
lessness of readers, here 1t is:
1T was crisp ana spicy morning In
early October. the lilacs and laDL,-
NUNS, lit with the glory-hres OF autumn
hung burning and flashing in the up
per air, talry bridge PROVIDED by kind
Nature for the Wingless wild things
that have their home in the tree-tops
and would visit together; the larch ana
the pomegranate hung their purple and
yellow flames in brilliant broad splash
es along the slanung sweep or the
NOOuldnut luC beuSuOuS fragrance u
innumerable deciduOus flowers rose up
on the swOOning atmosphere; far in the
empty SKY a solitary oesophagus slept
upon motiOnless wing; everywhere
brooded stiffness, serenity and the peace
of God.
The success Of Mark Twain's joke re-
calls to mind his story of the petrifed
man in the cavern, whom he described
most punctiliously, first giving a pic
ture of the scene, it's impressive solitude
and all that; then going on to describe
tioning that the thumb of his right hand
rested against the side of his nose;
then after further description observing
that the fingers of the right hand were
extended in a radiating fashion, and,
recurring to the dignified attitude and
position of the man, incidentally re-
marked that the thump of the left hand
a