davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
Couldn't Afford 1t.

The man whom the court had ordered
to pay his divorced wife an allowance
Of $25 a week protested against the Sc
verify of the decree.
"Your honor" he said, with deep feel
ing, ut will take nearly every cent Of
my present wife's salary to pay it,
Chicago Tribune.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
Who Knows?

Mamma" said little Elsie, "when
people are ashamed they always get
red in the face, don't they"
81 believe so, DEAR" was the reply.
"Then," continued the little observer,
II wonder why Uncle George only gets
ashamed in his nose?'-Indianapolis
Sun.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
R~eaSsurinE George.

She had been shopping. and he was
naturally disturbed.
II hope you didn't spend much mon
ey while you were downtown today"
he remarked.
Not a cent except a fare, George"
she answered reassuringly. 81 had ev-
erything charged."-Chicago Post.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
Claiming a fowl"
Courtesy.

81 suppose you will bow to the will
Of the people?' said the friend.
"Of course / WILL" answered Senator
Sorghum. 'TK bow and take off my
hat all they want me to-. As long as
there's no chance Of their having their
own way it's as little as I can do to be
p~olite."-Washington Star.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
Strategy.

StrateSy.
Mrs. Homer-How do you manage to
get your carpets so clean? Do you hire
a professional carpet beater?
Mrs. Neighbors-No; my husband
beats them, and always do something
to make him Angry just before he be-
gins the job.-Chicago News.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
A blight Headed" Joke.

A "LiEht Headed" Joke.
"Marie and Adele don't speak any
more.''
"Why not?"
marie spoke of Adele as being light
headed, and Adele thought she vas re-
ferring to the peroxide she was using
and cut Marie dead."-New Yorker.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
The Only Way.

Clergyman-I'm sorry to hear that
you sell liquor in this hotel.
Hotel Clerk-Well, sir, we wouldn't
If you could get people to stop buying
it,-BrOOklyn Life.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
One Kind of an EEOtist.

"What is an egotist?'
can egotist is a man who minds his
own business with such persistent ear
nestness that it ennoys you."-Chicago
Post.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
An Institution Regulated.

"Do you believe in ghosts?"
"No, subj" answered Mr.. 'Rastus
Pinkley; 81 doesn' b'lieve in 'em. Ef l
could hab my way, I'd do away wifi
'em Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28

Lieutenant-This pirate business amt
what it used to be, is it?
Pirate Chief-I should say not. Why,
my little boys got more money in his
toy bank than there is in that treasure
chest we just buried.-New York Her
old
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28

Feminine Side of a Wager.
"George bet me a pair of gloves on
the election"
(Which way did you bet?'
81 really don't know. I just know
that l get the gloves either way
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28

Chaplain-Don't you think you
ought to have some motto and try to
live up to it?
Convict-Yes. How would this do:
"Wc are here today and gone tomor-
rOWY"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
Do You KNOW sTY
C TEA

V00Nu "OSEV 7HEIH IN
Makes You Well, Keeps You Well. Cures
Pimples. B!otches, Liver Marks, Skin Erup-
tons, Constipation, Sick Headache, Jaundice,
Pain in Back, Congested Kidneys, Sluggish
stores Beauty ard Perfect +:umsut.s.ood. Good
for Grandpa, Loved W G:e.";H", hIakcs Father
Strong, Helps Mctt,"s (" ;> HouseWorS.
Baby Good Natures. q. &: ~ T!..sc. TIE
Genuine 35 cts. a packs %. '.sac only by
MADISON MEDICINE Co. Addison, WIS
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28

AS the orchestra manager skipped the
town
With the box receipts in his hand
He said, as he left the players behind,
I'm running to beat the band!"
Baltimore American.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
Street Car SDeed,

"Ever notice." asked the street car
philosopher, "how the speed Of street
cars is regulated by our frame of
mind?"
SIN what way?"
"Notice how slow a street car is
when you are in a hurry to catch a
train and how fast it goes when you
run to catch it."-Baltimore Herald.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1902-11-28
The Reason why.

Don't you know jones'"
eyes"
"Then why did you cut him just
now?"
Life.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

not give any consideration TO = single
material statement to Schley's which
was favorable to him. When Schley
testified that Sigsbee told him the
Spaniards were not in the harbor, and
half q dozen reliable witnesses con-
frmed him, Sigsbee's unsupported
statement against the bunch was ac-
cepted. But Schley's word goes
with nine-tenths of the American peo-
pie, because it is supported by the
facts. He found Cervera, he was on
the spot when Cervera was destroyed;
the record Of the Brooklyn's fve-inch
shells shows what damage she did, and
the scars upon that cruiser indicate
how close she was to the enemy. The
naval authorities are against Schley-
though five retired rear admirals have
Endorsed Admiral Dewey's opinion
and the accident in the presidential
chair is probably unfriendly to him
but congress and the American people,
and the head of both army and navy
are for Schley, and his word is still
good with those whose opinion is worth
anything. Memphis Commercial. Ap,
MAIL
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
F. E. b.

We beard man say the other morn
ing that the abbreviation for February
Feb, means FREEZE EVERY BODY,
and that man looked frozen in his ul-
ster. 1t was apparent that he needed
the kind of warmth that stays, the
warmth that reaches from head to foot,
all over the body. We could have told
him from personal knowledge that
Hoods Sarsaparilla gives permanent
warmth, it invigorates the blood and
speeds it along through artery and vein,
and really fits men and women, boys
and girls, to enjoy cold weather and re-
Sist the attacks of disease. 1t gives
the right kind of warmth, stimulates
and strengthens at the same time, and
oil its benefits are lasting. There may
be suggestion in this for you.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Carmack Takes Leadership.

The speech of E. W. Carmack in the
senate of the United States last Monday
was reminder of the giants of the old
south. 1t should have commanded at
tention in senates of which Jefferson
Davis, Robert Toombs, Judah P. Ben
iamin and Louis T. Wigfall were mem
bers. 1t was eloquent, brilliant, forci-
BILE, and from the standpoint of his
party, an exceptionally able discussion
of what is known as our Colonial poll
cy. 1t will be the key note of demo-
cratic campaign, next autumn, and all
other speeches ON the democratic side
will be but echoes OF Senator Car.
mack's presentation of the case. No
man ever had closer attention, and no
man was ever more cordially and sim
cerely congratulated than was he at
the close of his remarks.
The Tennessee senator came out in
his open, and it was characteristic Of
the man. There was no whipping the
devil around the stump, no nonsense
about Independence with protector
ate." He would acknowledge the abb
solute independence of the Philippine
archipelago and wash our hands Of the
whole business. 1t ia a brave position
to take and it makes one positive and
paramount issue. Incidentally, may
add, it fixed the leadership of the mi
nority side, and even Culverson fulflls
the promises his friends make for him,
he need not deem it discredit to follow
such leader. AS for Morgan-he's on
the other side As for Vest-he be-
longs to history. 1t is q new issue and
the battle is to young men, TO another
generation Sayoyard in Louisville
Courier Journal
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Schley's Word.

The naval clique proceeds on the
idea that the Bmerican people are col
lectively a fool and incapable OF
thought. But for the serious wrong
deliberately plotted against Schley by
the clique, its efforts to convince the
public that Sampson was actually in
command of the feet when he was alb
sent would be superiatively ridiculous.
The nimble Lemly and the fat-witted
Long have given out their comment
on Admiral Schley's appeal, and OF
course it is an amusing document. Ad-
miral Dewey's decision that Schley
was in actual command at Santiago
sticks in the craw Of these wind-jam-
mers; for Dewey knew what he was
talking about. The naval regulations
provided that the senior officer "on
the spot" shall assume command when
an engagement is precipitated. Who
was the senior officer? Certainly not
Sampson, for he was not on the spot.
Schley was there, and assumed the
command. The fact that Talking Bob
Evans or the late Capt. Philip during
the battle declined to recognize the
Brooklyn's signals, or did not regard
Schley as in command, reflects on
them and does not change the regula-
lions. Sehley was the senior officer on
the spot. The regulations invested
him with absolute command, and he
assumed command. In his com
ment" Lemly quotes the generous
words of Schley, who attributed to
Sampson the credit for the victory,
Throughout this whole controversy
Schley's word has been accepted as
conclusive by the naval clique when it
favored their purposes; but in the
court OF inquiry wherever Schley's
word was favorable to himself it has
been utterly ignored. His entire testi-
mony on the stand was thrown out.
When Schley near Santiago tele-
graphed that he was sorry the depart
ment orders could not be obeyed, this
has been accepted by the clique as con-
elusive evidence that he disobeyed or
ders. Didn't Schley say the orders
couldn't be obeyed? Although it hap
pened that Schley was mistaken, and
the fact was that he did obey the or
ders to the letter, the naval clique still
cites Schley's word as proof of disobe-
dience in the face of the facts to the
contrary. Benham and Ramsay did
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Jonesboro-suggests that if Johnson
City will throw itself into action ar
rangements can be made to have the
President come down in the spring
and assist in laying the corner stone
for the first building at the Soldiers
Home. This is understood to mean
that Johnson City is to work itself up
into something like Jonesboro frenzy
of enterprise and all will be well. This
suggestion was make in The COMET
about a year ago.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Sufficient Unto the Day.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could. Some
blunders and absurdities, no doubt,
crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is new day; begin it well
and serenely, and with too high spirit
to be numbered with your old nonsense.
This day is all that is good and fair. 1t
is too dear, with its hopes and invita-
tons, to waste moment on the yester-
days. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Remarkable Cure Of Group. Little Boys
Life Saved.

/ have a few words to say regarding
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. 1t saw
ed my little boys life and l feel that !
can not praise it enough. I bought q
bottle of it from A. E. Steere, of Good
win, s. D., and when got home with
it the poor baby could hardly breathe.
/ gave the medicine as directed every
ten minutes until he "threw up" and
then I thought sure he was going to
choke to death. We had to pull the
phlegm out of his month in great long
strings. ! am positive that if l hadn 7
got that bottle of cough medicine my
boy would not be on earth today Joel
Demont, Inwood, Iowa. For sale by
City Drug Store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

While we wuz down to Memphis last
week we rid in wagon what had no
horses to it, but ruined along from sa-
loon to saloon all by its lonely. They
called it "ordermorebeer, and we
reckon it wuz, because the beer come.
-Hardeman Free Press - Memphis
Commercial-Appeal.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
The Criticism Meritod.

The warrior Of the Chattanooga morn
ing paper INDUCES lot Of criticism OF
Mr.. Webster Davis because that gen.
tleman presumed to criticise Mr.. Roos-
welt for his coarse treatment of old Gen.
Miles. Care was taken, however, to
keep the Davis interview from the read
ers of that paper, presumably because
it gave the president an unmercitul fay
ing. In order that the Chattanooga
public may be its own Judge Of the Da-
Wis interview, the News reproduces it
as follows:
Kansas City, Dec. -"Roosevelt
will be renominated for the presidency
and defeated for the office, said Web
ster Davis, formerly assistant secretary
of the interior, today.
President Roosevelt is not halter
broke. He has not shed his milk teeth.
He signed round robin for which he
ought to have been court martialed,
inasmuch as he was Sin the face of the
enemy, and last week he degraded the
general commanding the first line Of
defense for little break.
I'm sheer good nature, if not broad
mindednesS, President Mckinley let
go uncensured that round robin to
which the signature of Mr.. Roosevelt
was attached, and in the breadth Of the
commensurate which marked his adj
ministration he even needed it.
"Now comes the signer of that Of
Tense against the articles of war, Col.
Roosevelt, of the Round Robin, and
refuses to pass newspaper interview
uncensured and, so far from needing it,
he disciplines the author of q minority
report. President Roosevelt delivers q
disgraceful scoring upon the head Of
Admiral Dewey, and through the press
humiliates old Gen. Miles.
"But this does not surprise me.
While in Washington I was on even
footing with Mr.. Roosevelt. He was,
like myself, an assistant secretary. He
was distinguished then among the rest
OF the assistant secretaries as an Ishma-
elite. At functions his neighborly
qualities were confined to shutting his
eyes and gnashing his teeth, and in off,
cial circles he was more communicative.
Ellis chief, Secretary Long, was con-
stantly prodded by him. One Of the
most genial of men, much like the late
president, Secretary Long was sadly
disturbed by his turbulent assistant
secretary. and the outbreak of the
Spanish war afforded him positive re-
lief when it invited Mr.. Roosevelt to
go into the field.
President Roosevelt is sincere, pa
triotic, enthusiastic and unbroken. He
is not bridlewise and his follies are his
own. He would not listen to the advice
of any one when he was an assistant
secretary, and that propensity seems to
have been much enlarged since being
called to the executive chair.
mo one will charge him with neg
Letting to further the interests Of the
republic or arraign his patriotism, but
no one in official circles will accept his
judgment.
1.-THE audience in the barquet, the
orchestra circles and the two first bal
comics will pay no attention to him. He
is taking his lines and will not stick
to the text.
"He came in on gust Of wind, and
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Sample of Jersey Justice.

Jersey justice" has held to hard ac-
counting the officers and directors of q
Forth Amboy bank who failed to exer-
else vigilant supervision over q dis
honest cashier. This employee stole
more than 100000. The Vice Chan
cellor of our neighboring state has de-
cided that the members of the Board
of Directors must make good the de-
ficiency. Some of them will be ruined.
Their misfortunes may inspire compass
sion, but if this sort OF justice were
melted out everywhere there would be
fewer entertainments. IN. Y. Tribune.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

A dictum from Mr.. Roosevelt will
not settle the Schley case unless it is
In accordance with facts. Mr.. Roose-
Welt will be recalled as the citizen who
swore to two different and conflicting
state Of facts regarding his taxes. His
word is, therefore, anything but infal-
lible. -Commercial-Appeal
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Hale's most serious charge against
Gibson is that he is failure because
he allowed everything coming south to
go to the First congressional district.
If he wants to stop this he is after the
wrong man, he should defeat Brown
low.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Perhaps the President could be in
duced to run over and lay the corner
stone for Jonesboro's Jail while he is
in Johnson City to lay the corner
stone for the Soldiers Home.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Keep Your Bowels Strong.

Constipation or diarrhea when
your bowels are out of order. Cas-
carets Candy Cathartic will make
them act naturally. Genuine tablets
stamped c. c. c. Never sold in
bulk. All druggists, Ioc.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

When the business in town gets so
dull that the leading merchants can not
afford to advertise, the probabilities are
that enterprising people will seek an
other location Mt. Pleasant Chronicle
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

There was glory enough to go round
but Sampson tried to overload himself
like glutton and must suffer the con-
sequences.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13
Judge Campbell for Governor.

1t may be the candidates Of both the
democratic and republican parties for
the gubernatorial chair will be from
East Tennessee, says the Nashville
Am erican. Hon. James B. Frazier, of
Chattanooga, has no opponent at pres
emit for the democratic nomination. On
the other side, it is said that Judge H.
7. Campbell, Of Greeneville, is being
slated by prominent republicans for
the nomination.
There has been great deal of talk in
Nashville recently in favor Of Judge
Campbell among prominent rerubli-
cans who are leaders in the party. One
of these, who is in a position to know,
stated to an American reporter that
number OF republicans had virtually
decided on Judge Campbell for the
state leadership, and expressed it as
his opinion that the East Tennesseean
would receive the nomination.
Judge Campbell is not an announced
aspirant for the honor, but it is said
that he is willing to go to the slaughter
if the nomination is rendered to him by
the republican state convention.
Judge Campbell has been judge of
the First judicial circuit for long
number Of years, and has made repu-
tation as a iurist. He is very aggres-
sive republican, and is a man of fine
personal appearance and forensic elo-
quence. II he should be nominated
he would doubtless enter into the fray
earnestly.
Judge Campbell had the temerity to
enter the race for congress against the
First district boss, Walter Brownlow.
He made hard but losing fight against
the doughty boss. He was a Jealous
Evans man, being delegate to the ma
tional convention on the Evans ticket.
1t is now reported that Judge Campbell
and Congressman Brownlow have come
to an understanding and are on pleas
ant terms. 1t is even said that Mr..
Brownlow would be willing for the
nomination for governor to go to his
erstwhile enemy.
Some of the republican leaders do
not expect any discord in the state
convention this year, but think the
meeting will pass. off smoothly and har-
moniously. II is thought that the ran
cor that existed between the Brownlow
and Evans factions in the last campaign
has almost faded away. 1t is of course
expected that there will be contests of
local nature among the factions in
some of the counties, but it is thought
that these matters will be settled with
out causing any dissension Of conse-
quence in the state convention.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Col. John Essary has about made up
his mind to defeat Hon. Henry Gibson
for congress.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Congressman Brownlow says he don't
expect to get cent out of that fran
chise he is asking the people Of johnson
City to give him. Maybe not. Mr..
Brownlow has been philanthropist all
his life, but up to this time his line of
action has always lead up to W. P. B.
-ChattanCoga Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

This is lent, make it any amount You
have convenient.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

1t is now stated that Judge Campbell
is to be allowed to unwind his ambition
as a republican candidate for governor.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Is discharge from the mucous men,
brane of the nose, throat, stomach,
bowels etc., when kept in a state OF
inflammation by an impure condition
of the blood and o want of tone in the
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Gibson should have had his conven-
ton or primary before grounding day,
the gobblins are about to get him.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Soothe the inhamed membrane,
strengthen the weakened system, and
the discharge will stop to do this
purify the blood,
81 was troubled with catarrh for years
and tried various remedies but found moth
ing that would cure me. / then resolved
to try Hoods Sarsaparllla and took four
bottles which entirely cured me. have
never been troubled with catarrh SINCE
AS blood purifier / can find nothing else
equal to Hoods Sars9parIlla" WILLIAM
SHERMAN, 1880 9th st., Milwaukee, Wis.
Hoods JdrSdpGriLLd
Cures catarrh radically and perma-
nently-removes its cause and over
comes all its effects.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-02-13

Catered at The PostoGics at johnson City, Teas,ds
Second Class Matter.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1902-09-05
CrivelIrs Painting OF Christ

Carlo Crivelli's famous painting OF
Christ. entitled Deposition From the
Cross" has been added to the picture
galleries OF the Museum OF Fine Arts.
ON Copley square.
The painting was finished In 1885
and was brought TO the museum from
private collection OF paintings in 1t.
ally.
Threc-fourths OF the cost OF the paint-
ing was paid by contributor who re-
fused TO make his name known. while
the museum paid the remainder of the
cost.
The painting is on n wooden panel
and represents the dead Christ. tho
blessed Virgin, st. John and Mary
Magdalcne. At the bottom on the frame
Is signed Opus Carlo CriveIll. 1885"
AT the top of the picture Is n wreath
OF fruit.
The background OF the painting is In
gold. as Is the dress OF Mary Magda.
lenc and the halo OF the dead Christ.
The colors OF the dresses are particu.
larry bright
Behind the body OF Christ Is hung au
deliberately decorated piece or embroid.
cry.-Boston Post.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1902-09-05
Where He wa.ca,n~

The Rev. DIR. Swallow tells story
about George Alfred Townsend, who
writes over the nom de plume OF Gath.
What does that name meanY' DIR.
Swallow was asked by young lady Of
his parish.
why. the letters are the authors
initials" answered the clergyman-"G.
A. Townsend"
but what does the II stand fory'
the other persisted
That's where he is going when he
dies" came from the doctor.
The Questioncr was visibly I'M
pressed.
rs he such very bad man?' she
asked, almost In whisper.
Certainly not" replied DIR. Swallow.
"The II stands for heaven."-New YORK.
Times.