Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-08-23
Clever Writer Holds Mirror to
American Life.
FOUND us DELIGHTFUL.
Amusing Experiences at Customs Office
Anxiety of Hosts to Preserve
Traditions.


girls point Of view and convulsed her
audience with the humor of it, and now
in her latest book, entitled as above,
she tells us about ourselves as she her
self would see us after a few years resi-
dence among the English. And it is
clever, shrewd and impartial without
question; but Sara Jeanette Duncan's
wit is pointed by long years of living
among those delightful Americans ana
she hits us off more as the clever Ameri-
can observer would, and less as the in
experienced English traveller. The first
chapters upon those delightful Americans
published by ID. Appleton 4 Co, New
York; are what our clever English cousins
call lovely" in the English interpreta-
ton of that term.
The Letter of the Law.
Here is a sample of the strict attention
paid by the couple to the letter of the
law when the shipload were called up to
declare" their luggage: I'VE were sit
tlnS In long rows on each side of the
middle table of the saloon, at the end of
which sat a man with a bristly mus
tache swearing each of us in turn about
the contents of our boxes. He and his
assistant looked like judge and jury, and
the passengers so like prisoners passing
IN review before him as we moved, chair
by chair, toward sentence or acquittai,
that | had it on the tip of my tongue TO
say Not Guilty when my turn came.
and take the consequences. 1t seemed
an extreme proceeding, putting one on
oath about ones mere luggage, and
could see that it fidgeted Kaye. 1t was
little as If Mr.. Roosevelt laid hands Oh
ones conscience, the accredited instru-
ment of a higher power than any Presi-
dent, and squeezed it, as it were, to fat
ten MS revenues, 1t made me feel dread
fully particular-I suppose that is what
1t IS intended to do, and from the rigidity
OF Hayes neck as he sat i'll the revolv-
ing chair scanning his paper of instruc
tions with his back half turned TO me,
l gathered what his idea of accuracy
would be. 1t was easy enough to avoid
the penalty of a thousand dollars and
confinement or cOnfiscation for tipping
the customs examiners, by not tipping
them; but the clause allowing one to
possess twenty pounds worth of new
clothes and jewelry suitable to ones sta
ton in life, and the furious hostility of
the President to sealskin, presented diff
fculties. AS Kaye said afterwards. it
would be much simpler if they would per-
init one to bring in only what could be
tied up in Il bandanna handkerchief
This would be appropriate coming to a
new country, and put one in the mood TO
make ones fortune. That was the re-
Election of more frivolous hour; what
he said at the moment, gloomily, to me
was: L wish we had decided to send the
pearls to Grindlay.' So did |, with all
my heart, but there they We're in my
dressing case and in my lap. There they
We're, and already | could see through
the port-hoie the spires and skyscrapers
of democracy which, unless it c0nsid-
cred them suitable to my rank and sta
ton. would only admit them on payment
of a much larger sum than Kaye could
afford. Perhaps l whispered. they
4 l. i A. 4 ~
tain, but Kaye shook his head. The
man with bristly mustache requested
my husband TO fill iii upon form his
Christian name, his age, occupation and
destination. Kaye turned to me in the
act of doing this. and said, These ques-
tons are perfectly proper, dear
Unwilling to Swear.
"'Can you say said the customs ofli-
Ger. mechanically, that you have moth
ing dutiable in your possession? Will
YOU swear to this? If so, kindly sign
here.
Certainly not. said Kaye.
1.-THE officer leaned back in his chair
with an air of being perfectly prepared
for this. Well he said, why not?
Do you object to taking the oath, or have
you anything to declareT
81 cannot possibly say offhand
whether | have more or less than twenty
said Kaye.
"'Oh guess you can tell about, can't
your said the officer. ndulgently.
Il am not asked to make an approx
imation; | am asked TO take a precise
oath, replied my husband. and unfor-
me- he continued. Besides. there are
two or three. You remember those
things he said to me. that you ordered
from Collins the last minuteT
They came | said with confidence.
to II lis lid l remember perfectly.
I'm be satisfied. said the officer,
yawning. with an approximation. Peo-
Pile who can remember seven pence
ha'penny-'
"'Thanll you.' replied my husband.
but the matter lies between the Ameri-
can government, my conscience and my
self
I'm take the responsibility. Just
sign. please. and pass on. | can't do
business with you all day, Mr.. Kemhall.'
AT this point | heard a lady behind
me exclaim If that is not good
natured mani But l am not sure which
of them she referred to-"
That certainly is master hit. but
Mrs. Cotes' imperturhahle Englishman
will not be downed in his conflict with
the American government and his con-
science. He asks for a little time to cast
up his reckoning. Ii is granted, and he
retires in all gravity to consult with his
wife. The madam is then interrogated
The Warehouses Necklace.
81 haven't got anything like twenty
pounds worth of new clothes, but
Then that's all right. kindly
But l said. L have a pearl neck
lace
The officer looked at me. 4 don't see
why YOU shouldn't have pearl neck
lace he said.
Kaye had come M behind me- My
Wife is unable to swear that il is suitable
To her station in life he put in.
Oh are you there? | thought you
were considering your bills. What's the
value of the pearl neeklace|
Five hundred ard twenty pounds
returned Kaye.
-Four Shillings and tuppence,' added
the officer aS il absent -mindedly. We'll
that's more than Ia care to give for
necklace, but judging from appearances.
should think YOU could pretty near live
up t.. II. What makes you think you
.can'tY
The necklace came to my wife said
Kaye, diStaltiy. from a relation on her
mothers side. who was a lady of rank