Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-07-26

| can judge. If one is to use any sort of
| vehicle. is the primitive methods of road
| making which is still followed in the re-
| gfons adjacent to this District. The horses
seem to be reconcied to the mystery Of
| the horSeless wagons, and SO there seems to
| be but one reason why man should not
| take a touring trip of day or two without
| the loss of time of going long distance
| away. That reason, of course, lies in the
! lack of modern roads,
X x y
well. boss, I'm back again. said col
| ored man who called at police headquarters
| one day this week after an absence of sew
eral years. I'm ready for duty again, and
I'm just as good now as 1 was when / was
here before
Where have you been all these years."
he was asked by one of the detectives who
had not the pleasure of his acquaintance.
Where haven't been?" the colored man
inquired I've been everywhere. and now
I'm ready for business"
DO you mind telling me the nature OF
your business
The 'pertecter' business, of course. Why.
man, I'm a born 'pertecter.' 1 can tell a
crooked man if 1 see him in church, and
when l once sees man l never lose his
countenance. 1 can go in any crowd and
pick out the chaff from the wheat. When
under. and I've got him.
You are the kind of a man we want"
| the colored man was told.
''Taint no question of wanting me-"
/ said the born sleuth. II didn't come look
ing for job. but to see if there was any
thing doing. You see, I've been on the
force a number of years, and"
Nothing doing" the detective inter-
rupted
! The colored man went away perfectly sat
| isfied.
1t was recalled by some of the older men
| in the office that the man had called at the
detective office several years ago and had
similar experience. On that occasion he
was given badge made of the top of to-
mato can and a stick of wood to
| club. He was then sent from place to place
with a note. until he finally managed to
get good position. That was fully ten
! years ago. and nothing more was heard of
HIN until his visit this week.
x
| There are many people In official well
as private life who have met a former in
mate of St. Elizabeths Hospital for the
| Insane during recent weeks. This man,
! who introduces himself as Col DR.. -, i'm
| AGNES he is the superintendent of the asy-
| lum, and that DR.. Richardson is subject to
! his orders. Seldom a day passes that this
strange individual does not visit the asylum.
police headquarters and several business
houses to call upon scores of people whom
he imagines are his patients. Frequently
the man with so many responsibilities dec
crates his coat with dozen more roses,
a couple of sunfowers or several water
plants He is always able to tell the menu
at the asylum, and never fails to tell of
the improvements he is going to make.
Sundays he attends religious services, and
his patients, as he believes them to be- are
given an idea of the service on Mondays.
Let m lOOk LUIS
says as soon as he enters an office, and
then its Put out your tongue"
His diagnosis and treatment are always
the same. and his advice is given free Of
charge.
One of his contemplated improvements at
the asylum is the construction of seventy
five windmiils to take the place of the
pumps and the use OF fish instead of meat.
There are plenty of fish in the river at
the foot of the HILL he argues; land there
is no reason why the inmates should not
catch them
Then he has a new method of making
soap without the use of grease. The adop-
ton of this method, he says, will give
the institution grease enough for cornbread
without having to buy lard.
I've never offended but one man in my
life, he declared upon the occasion of
| recent visit to police headquarters, land
| that was when L called Willie Windsor
-- when ne threatened t. lick me-
Sanitary Officer Frank he thinks is the
only man who has ever harmed him. This
officer had him locked up once on sus-
pICion that he was insane, and he says he
can forgive nobody who has ever had him
| locked up.
| L discovered something new" he in
formed his hearers upon the occasion of one
or his daily visits to police headquarters
this week. All the scientists have been
working hard to tell where hail comes from
and I've found out at last Out in Colorado
Ice is piled on the mountains and when a
cyclone comes along these big cakes are
picked up and carried through the air,
When another current of air strikes them
sney crack and fall. People couldn't I'M
derstand how it was that the hail fell big
enough to 1nJure the corn and tobacco, but
II they will come to me L will tell them"