The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1902-04-18
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.

| ~ ou SidHSS 1hS l'oSiotoh vi ths
furniture when You clean up room?
inquired housewife No. of friend in
the course of heart to heart
talk.
"Do [? Why, yes, indeed! don't
feel as if the room is cleaned unless
change the furniture little bit. Do
you?'
"Well, | usually change the orna.
spring and all fall like to change
everything in a room-completely
alter the whole appearance Of it. Then
fancy the things are all new, and
they seem to look prettier somehow.
But, do you know my husband does
not like it al!''
"Neither does mine. Isn't that
singular? Men are so pcculiar!'
"Yes. indeed they are?'
So many housekeepers share the
views Of these two that story with
moral will not be out of place.
1t was the other night only that
Mr.. Blank went unsuspiciouly up
stairs to bed at an unusually early
hour, leaving his wife reading in the
sitting room. He had headache and
carried a goblet of water in his right
hand. Fearlessly advancing into the
dark bedroom Mr.. Blank suddenly felt
both legs violently cut from under
him. He clutched wildly at the air
and said several things of an exclama-
tory nature, but there was nothing to
save him. He went down
"Good gracious, Henry!' ejaculat-
ed Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the scene
of disaster "What is the matter
are you? Why don't you light the
gas?' Suiting the action to the world
she beheld her husband sprawling
across the bed; the glass he had carried
had discharged its contents across the
pillowshams and shivered on the
floor.
Mr. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that of all
the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said it was pretty thing for man
to walk into his own room and have to
fall over things in the dark. He said
lie wouldn't stand it; the furniture
must be replaced where it formerly
stood.
Il shan"s do anything of the kind
replied Mrs. Blank. ''It looks very
much nicer where it is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when
you set get in dark room? p
"S'pose you'd like to crawl in on
all fours!' snarled Mr.. Blank. 81
couldn't feel where the bed was un-
less l happened to touch the foctboard.
I thought could walk clear over to
to the bureau. l tell you it's a con-
founded crank you have on this sub
ject Some day you'll precipitate a
serious accident"
:'If any one precipitates, it'll be you,
I should think" retorted Mrs. Blank
'c,lv AMI the furniture remained
where it was.
1t was the next evening that Mas
ter Blank undertook to carry pile OF
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had bottle of
ink in his hand, and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course Of his peregrina-
tions in search of it, however, he came
into violent collision with the glass
door of the bookcase, which he broke.
There were also inky traces discerni.
BILE on the carpet when Mrs. Blank
came in. This time there was some
balm for her feelings. She could
spank Master Blank and it with the
best will in the world.
Her own downfall was not long in
coming, however, although for few
days only minor Inconvenience were
| met with, such as the abrasions OF
ankles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contract with unforeseen obstacles.
Last evening Mrs. Blank undertook
to transfer the cage Of her pet parrot
from the window where it spends the
day to the snug corner where it passes
the night. She did not trouble to
light the gas, and by some unaccoun-
table mental lapse she had forgotten
the precise point at which tabouret,
on which stood a jardiniere, was station
ed. She charged into the tabouret
with considerable force, was over
balanced by the weight of the cage in
her arms and took header with a
resoundng crash. The parrot shrek
ed, and, unable to distinguish friend
from foe, inflicted severe bite on her
mistress finger. Mr.. Blank came in
hurriedly, picked up his wife and assist
| ed in making an inventory of sundry
contus;ons. Then they lifted the
parrot cage, badly bent, and the jar
diniere with piece Clipped out of it
and the tahouret somewhat scratched
and then Mr.. Blank observed quietly
81 have just one thing to ask you
Mrs. Blank. Was | right?
mo, you were not y retorted Mrs
Blank savagely. "Serious accident
What's serious about this, should
like to know? For goodness sake
Henry, don't stand there trying tc