The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1902-07-03
July WEATHER FORECAST.

July is primarily the month of pa
triotism and perspiration. 1t is the
month when the busy moquito
reaches the prime of life and be-
comes the most affectionate; it is
the month when the ight-blooming
hive becomes universally stylish; it is
the month when the potato bug and
the amateur elocutionist become
ripe, and it is the month when the
rural lad with the low-necked over
alls steals watermelons and cholera
morbus from the neighbours.
July this year will open cool, hut
the normal temperature will be re-
gained by the Fourth, so that the
nose of the orator of the day will
have the customary blister burned
on it. Exceedingly hot and dry
weather will continue until the 9TH,
when the temperature will change
for the hotter. This condition will
continue until the 18th, during
which time the regular crop Of
hot weather jokes will be har-
vested.
This will be followed by backac-
tionary storm period during which
much damage will be. done on land
and sea- There will be severe winds,
dashing rains, thunder, lightning and
rural profanity. Farms will be torn
up by the roots. and hail stones
Iabout three inches larger than the
newspaper readers. incredulity will
fail. Thisfstorm will.last until tho
18th, when5the temperature will drop
from six to eight inches throughout
the United States.
Duringsthe cold nights of this pc.
Rod we advise housewives to throw
a superannuated newspaper over the
family verbena, and to upholster the
non-blooming oleander with an over
worked bed quilt. We also advise
farmers to keep the shoats and the
spring calves in out of the night air
as much as possible and to bed down
the hens little more generously.
From the 18th to the goth hot
wave will sweep through the country
from south to north. Persons who.
during the cold snap. had concluded
that summer was practically over
and were preparing to put up the
baseburner and carry the cactus
down cellar, will suddenly change
their minds and their wearing ap.
parel when this warm wave comes.
During this time there will be
quite a drop in butter, especially
where the farmer tries to bring it
to town in a porous bottomed mar
ket basket. The summer resort mos
quito will go down to the depot to
meet the big delegations from city
and town; the hired man will leave
the plow in the furrow and go fish
ing; the country merchant will roll
| in the barrel of ak handles from in
front Of his store, lock up shop and
wander off. some place where he can
bangle a.line in the water and catch
a blister on the back: of his neck;
and the annual grasshopper delega-
ton will march across the country
and trample down. the hay, eat up
the garden. kidnap the children and
burglarize the smokehouse.
On the 21st there will be three
bank robberies and a thunder storm.
On the 22d there will be balloon
ascension. On the 23d there will be
open hostilities between bald-head-
ed man and fly, on the oath the
j wind will shift to the west, and on
the 25th there will be Sunday
school picnic in northern Texas
which will break up in cyclone.
The rest of the month will con-
tinue hot and sultry, and people will
divide their time between looking at
the tops of their thermometers and
saying mean and unkind things about
the state of the weather. And, thus
discouraged, out of sorts and uniyer.
sally cussed, with no one to speak
a kind word for her, July will sneak
| quietly out and away, while August
will hon upon the scene.
\ q