The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-11-14
would J !! |! LIFE 1BE.2!''.
If Our Existence Were Barren of
Friendship.
QUESTIONS TWO SIDES.
True Friendship, and the Other Kind
Pen Pictures of Some of the
Specimens.

desolatlon without sun Or warmth, a
weary journey, with none to cheer the
lonely wayfarer; and again there are
times when we are equally ready to as
sert that life without friends would be
calm and happy state in which there
would be none to modest, and no thieves
to break in and steal either our time or
money.
The truth is that there is no other
term in the English language SO much
mlsused as friendship, and none which
Is made the excuse for so many short
comlnSs. Like charity, it is supposed to
cover multitude of sins, and as a gen
eral thing it is not our enemies, but those
who call themselves our friends, Of
whom we need to stand in mortal fear.
Half of the bankrnpts in the country lost
their money through their friends; three
fourths of the women about whom SLAM
derous stories are told owe their loss of
chara cter to their friends gossip: ninety
nine times out of hundred, when we
are cruelty ill-used and misunderstood,
and put to inconvenience and trouble, it
is your friends, who are your enemies,
who do it.
The Friendship of Women.
1t is often said that the friendship of
women for each other is like the friend
ship of cats, and though they may purr
over each other at meeting, they are al
ways ready to put their backs up and
scratch at each other at a moments no.
tice. This is a malicious SANDER. The
world, unfortunately, is not oversupplied
in any direction with disinterested affec
ton, but there is just as much genuine
friendship among women as there is
among men, and women are no more
given to making a social ladder of friend
ship than men are to trade upon it III
business.
Personally, it has been my good fortune
to have two women friends, true as Steel
loyal and chivalrous as knights, whose
sympathy and comprehension l have ever
felt-a never-failing fountain Of strength.
AS a working woman, it has also been
my privilege to note hundred times
that it is woman's friendship that often.
est stands the test of sorrow and need,
and woman's hand that is most generous
ly held out to help other women.
In the so-callcd platonic friendship be-
tween men and women l am likewise a
profound believer. Not every woman is
coquette; not every man is Ebertine,
decency of humanity to even intimate
that there can be no companionship be-
tween men and women without it's being
degraded by suggestions of passion. It
is possible that for the very young there
may be danger in platonic friendship
children who play with fire are always
and women there is surely a friendship
without love. that is one of the most
precious relationships of life. Such a
friendship, broad and comprehending,
has become the solace TO many a
sustaining and inspiring, has lit the fires
of ambition in many mans soul, and
sent him out to do the worlds great
work
Such friendships these-the friendship
of women and women, and the friend
ship of man and woman-are among the
greatest blessings that ever fall to our
lot, and if that were all, poets and ideal
lists might well celebrate the beauty and
holiness of friendship.
Another Side to Story.
Unfortunately, however, there is an
other side to the story, and there are so
many friends who are pests, so many
outrages are committed in the name Of
friendship, and so frequently is it the
mask under which the social highway
one is often tempted to wonder if it isn't
better and cheaper and safer and more
comfortable to be lonely than it is to be
done.
All Of us have suffered Mt the hands
of these marauding friends and have
would have made us call for police pro-
lection had the aggressor been an enemy.
Just why people who profess to like us
consider they have a right to treat us
in way they would not dare treat
person they hated is one Of the mysteri-
Gus facts of life that nobody has ever
been able to explain; BUT it is a fact.
nevertheless, and with many people to
be friend is simply to make yourself
target for all manner Of unpleasant
ness.
There is, for instance, the frank friend,
who feels that friendship gives him or
her the license to say things to you YOU
do not want to hear, and that you would
knock an enemy down for saying This
friend always prefaces her remarks-for
she is oftener a woman than man
by. saving, "As l am your friend, feel
band is flirting with another woman. or
your son got drunk at the Croesus bali
or your daughter is in love with a hope
less detrimental, or something unpleasant
that somebody has said about you. Or
else you show her your new bonnet, or
marks, 'How perfectly sweet! But don't
you think that color very trying to per-
son with a sallow complexion? OF
course, I shouldn't mention it if we
weren't such friends Or she feels it in
cumbent on her to advise you to refrain
from reciting. or singing, or acting in
public: or tells you that your poem or
book is silly. and that all the nice things
people say about it are polite lies-''but
between friends there should always be
the truth" Be sure that when a woman
means to stab she always puts on the
disguise of friendship. When woman
who is a casual acquaintance begins TO
my DEAR you, sheer off to one side.
When, on insufficient provocation, she
calls you darling" go home and put Or
chain armor under your stays, for she
has got knife up her sleeve and means
to drive it into your heart.
Seeks a Weeping Spot.
Then there is the complaining friend,
whose understanding of friendship is Il
place that is q dumping ground for all
her troubles. She comes to see you mere
1y to get fresh spot to weep III; she
washes all her dirty family linen in your
best parlor, and tells you Of her hus-
bands shortcomings and her childcen's
misdemeanors, and is as generally Cheer
full and agreeable to have about you is a
wet blanket. Heaven knows it is the sa-
cred privilege of friendship to sympathize
oud holm h,1t urbnro M holm &c noce;h)o