Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-12-09
FUN WITH MARK TWAIN
Advance Obituary Notices by
Fellow Fun Makers.
DINKELsPIEL's WARN TRIBUTE.

DINKELsPIEL's WARN TRIBUTE.
uunerist's Friend says Marx IL "Der
DesA CAeke Cracker Dfer Cesxed n
Sniae >te der 0atslAe IT der Face
unA Ksbt Id Dare"-Aa I'D Csttie-
mans Respects.
When Mark Twain, the humorist, re-
Gently sent an advertisement about his
obituary notices to the editor Of Har-
per's Weekly, he stated that he wants
the record exactly straight before he
goes. He has seen the folly Of depart
ing before ones obituary notices are
correctly edited, and he desires to
adopt the only reasonable method Of
assuring the proper supervision Of such
Aatter-namely, the editing Of 1t him
SELF.
In recognition Of the practical value
Of this novel undertaking the New
York World has obtained a number OF
advance obituary notices Of Mr.. Twain
from certain persons who are his con-
temporaries in the genial task Of max
ing smiles. Here are some Of them:
D.. Dinkelspiei, per George V. Ho-
bart, says:
Ad der age II ninety -sefen dare has
passed into der pure vite light NJ mem
DRY a ehentleman vich hbored many
years unter der name uf Marx Twain.
He vas q chokeist, vun uf dor mosd
successful laugh givers der world has
efer Witnessed, bud mil niul borax," a.
~ say in der Latin.
Id Is NIT him today as i'd has been
many dimes init some Ut his chokes,
''Hequieseat IN passe."
Several years before he finally de-
sieioned to walk down der long lane dot
has no turning Mark hat 4 gonversa-
tioning NIT der author uf desc bidder
worlds.
"Dinky," set Marx, Offering himself
4 long, plack cigar, vich he politefully
accepted, dare vas now no puplic to
look ad us. We vas alone, far from der
madding t'rong. Darefore led ~ en-
shoy ourseffs as true universities und
discuss der supcheckt uf tombstones."
"As you wish 90 Id is, Marx" I mur-
NIT sour glance
"Ven I 90 down by der river Sticks
10 took ride in der boat built by Ohon
kendrick Panggs. Wish TO leave be-
hind me q epitlaugh On my tpmbstone."
vet Marx, breathing deeply On has
cigar.
Id vas a solemn moment, md I vadt-
I'd for i'd to pass away.
Gould you, Dinky, snshehest q
spstlaugh for my tombstone vsn AotA.
r. Earth vispers. I'd ID time 10 90 -
press NIT your form. AaPk!"
II hobe der co1summattn 70 devoot-
b Wished WI nefer sfertook yoa,
Mark" set earnestly. Bud here y
Ter epttlaugh for your tombstone ~
Ter necessity drives you to i'd:
''vile here below yoa uag4sd ~ -
Und make u laugh der vRs.
So now init ehoy your time e0Qtoy
TO make der angels smile!
TO dis, Marx, I would add der sveek
assurance uf 4 hand NIT der digita4is
anger pointed upward, und untr 6eR
aand would pud der legend, NSd
Dead, but Chokeingr"
Dan NIT knuckls to kHMekls ~
yrasped each uddg's hands I'M vent
'ur ways. Und now to dtnk vet 4 ut,
at bidder task b mine 10 write DR.
obituary at 4 man dot nefer dit me-
my harm Ia hts life. Marx TwaA
'tarted dis HE during his boyhood
lays. He attended der school If eeg
peYienee uod sratuationsd darefron
nit sefeFal hard knocks to biz sref1t,
nd Id voe nod untQ he vent Into Der
pitxrss dot be s(sr ~
"a fun force uf 4 hard knock. AaGk
raves behind him two snns, Hsskis-
cry Finn snd Tom Sawyer, bstA It |
tsh Refused to took ds1r fathsrs na0e !
o. pltsnens reasons.
Mark va born mt a tvinAAs II - |
ye vieh b Afterwards txanHfef4ed 10 -
ountaan psn, aiso for pitsnns reasons.
le 10 der author II many soet shekss,
Ases00SOaAW O00 WIG 0SOS8 VIOU 8CG00
( cur famous humosoattaes have Wz1t-
10 dnes. He Aiso wrote 4 hopk, NAY
. two e. three books, bod dsy VS. to
nsssssfui 10 b advertised - W aean'a
Nd must abouid dem.
Mark has many dines 10 hs Redlt,
nd DIR mosd VT desc II der Hcbae Aast
ot init tsmptationmsnt sfsr shump1zx
b to bite him On der A1nbons ~
refused to become a dialse-
o0ist. Und dare led ~ leave ham, MT
n digftahs finger on his tomlbsbsns
utnting upward, " hope ned In vain.
. some der bidder idea may come dot
r Anger has 4 poor knowiedge u
eahties, bud to sueh a. dem W ny,
Futchv'
Dare, init de mAuve hight vich IL der
leence uf veil remembered laughter
aging hide und seek NIT his mem'ry
d us leave hinder besd choke crack
dot efer coaxed a smile to der oud-
de uf der face und kebt i'd dare.