davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15

tense muscles and hard face, for there
will be some kind of row before the
shades of night fall. 1t is very seldom
that coward can be induced to take
country school, for his dominion will
not last five days. The boys can tell a
shirker at glance and they lose no
time with such, but get busy at once.
The little boys begin the racket, for
they have been melted thereto by their
elders, who wish to take q few notes.
The big boys have said they are behind
the little ones and they are, so far he
hind that no help comes in the long
aching day. Some small boy fails to
learn his lesson. When asked why, he
says with a wildly beating heart, but
bold front, 81 don't have to-" This
causes a smoker to run all over the
room, wherein the bold youth joins,
closing with gasp as the ruler drops
on some soft spot in his anatomy. He
knows he cannot whip the teacher and
looks In vain for the promised help.
So he takes his licking and snut1llngly
promises to be good. Rage is In his
heart against the teacher and the big
boys both.
Possibly three or four such happen
ings reduces that school to a condition
of somber thought; the teacher Is not
So easy after all. Morning recess calls
for a conference. Usually the teacher
stays inside the school house in deep
thought. He sees his work and plans
to have it out as soon as possible, for
delays are dangerous. He sits at his
desk. fingers his ruler and once in a
while glances out of the window. He
marvels that the children do not seem
to be playing, but he has things to
chain his thoughts and fails to hear the
stealthy football on the roof. Then as
the children file in, bObbing in awk-
ward courtesy as they enter, he be-
comes aware of large amount of
smoke in the room. He is being
smoked out"
Jack Simpson" he says to the big
fellow he has picked out as the ring
leader: "see what is the matter with
that stove.'
Jack obeys-it Is part of the play
and a huge volume of white smoke
rushes out into the room. He closes
the door, coughs explosively-it is all
put on-and backs away. "She's full O.
sumpin'," he gasps.
why is the pipe choked!"
"Swallers must "a built their nests
In the chimley."
This sally is greeted with a roar.
"Silence" cries the teacher, his
words cutting like knives. Il will do
the laughing for this school. That Chin
uey was not choked when school as
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Criminal CareleSSness.

A woman was recently robbed of
$4,000 in bills at 8 o'clock at night,
her dress being literally cut from her
body by the thieves. An unprotected
woman has no business to be carrying
$1,000 at night anywhere unless she
Is prepared to take the consequences.
Within the past year the newspapers
have recorded hundreds of cases of
murder, assault, torture, robbery and
arson, all due to the criminal careless
ness of people keeping in their houses
OF on their persons, large Sums of
money which should be safely lodged
in the banks. Many people are preju-
diced against the banks. but where
there is one bank failure there are a
hundred robberies. 1t is easy to take
proper precautions but practically in
possible to catch thieves.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
He Liked the Place.

He had sidled into cheap restaurant
not beyond earshot of the Herald
Square clock, and hung his high hat 90
a low peg. AS became one of those un-
placed individuals who loiter in swell
lobbies and eat at uncertain intervals,
he tried to ignore the casual acquaint
ance who sat opposite. but with a per-
sistency peculiar to casual acquaint-
ances that person wouldn't stand fo-
it. He butted in, so to speak, and tn :.
tenant by courtesy of hotel rotundas
felt that it was up to him to say some
thing.
DO you know" he began, Il like this
place. The cooking is so homelike, the
griddle cakes so delicious; they are just
like my mother-er mother-er moth
er's servant used to serve New York
Telegram.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Another Illusion DispeIIed.

l:uthless psychologists destroy one
by one our fondest illusions. Now faith
in the purity of glaciers must go the
way Of other popular fallacies.
Hitherto the man in the street had
imagined tt 1t were all the waters of
every city and plain polluted he would
still find immaculate springs in the
Alps. But M. Binst, who presides over
chemical laboratory at the Pasteur
institute, having no such faith, obtain
ed some ice from the glaciers of Mont
Blanc itself and placed it under his
pitiless microscope. His verdict shat
ters the dreams of mountaineers. 1t
appears that even the summit, which
so long remained untrodden by human
feet, has lost its purity, if it ever had
any.
The ice in question, and water melt
ed therefrom, were found, on bacteria
logical analysis, to be ''peopled with
colonies of microbes" The statement
which follows is particularly terrify-
ing. 1t appears that ''the germs in
question were found to belong to the
most varied families of bacteria"
NJ. Binst accounts for the pollution Of
the Mont Blanc glaciers, says the Lon
don Telegraph, by surmising that the
microbes have been conveyed to the
peaks by the winds sweeping
the cities in the valleys.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15

unmixed regret. And what will the
children say, whom Hans Andersen has
told stories of the stork so wonderful
that the bird seems part and parcel Of
Fairyland? But the facts are that with
in the last half century the number of
storks in Schleswig- Holstein has stead
lily decreased. Villages which used to
be the home of over sixty families of
storks, and where sometimes six stork
nests could be counted on the roofs of
one farmers buildings, hardly show q
single nest now. Yet the arrival of the
stork was always hailed with delight
by the natives, and it was counted as
much a sign Of good luck If a stork
built on roof as in other parts of Ger
many it is to have a swallow build un-
der the eaves.-Philadelphi Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
ca AHGER

Sufferers from this horrible malady
nearly always inherit it-not necessarily
from the parents, but may be from some
remote ancestor, for Cancer often runs
through several generations. This deadly
poison may lay dormant in the blood fot
years, or until you reach middle life, then
the first little sore or ulcer makes its ap-
pearance a swollen gland in the
breast, or some other part of the body,
gives the first warning.
To cure Cancer thoroughly and perma.
nently all the poisonous virus must be
eliminated from the blood-every vestage
of it driven out. This S. S. S. does, and
Is the only medicine that can reach deep
seated, obstinate blood troubles like this.
When all the poison has been forced out
of the system the Cancer heals, and the
disease never returns.
Cancer begins often in small way, as the
following letter from Mrs: Shirer shows
A small pimple came on my jaw about inch
heioyH the ca on the left side of my face 1t gave
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15

Who hath bleeding at the noSes he
who teacheth a country school Where
fore say unto you, go not gaily forth
to teach them that dwell in the land
round about lest ye have wounds anu
sores, for verify it boOteth more to
compass ye boxe than to read the stars.
%. X, HIS Maxims.
1t is truth the poet sings that he who
essays to handle the unruly in coun-
try school has educational work cut
out for him not laid down in any repu-
table text book.
No person on earth is subjected to
as many petty prosecutions born of
sheer deviltry as the country school
teacher. For a week, maybe, after he
takes in" the school he has a fairly
easy road to travel; the boys have not
finished sizing him up. But woe to
him If he becomes unduly confident,
for things will happen not set forth in
the simple rules he has pasted up
above the blackboard. The second
Monday is generally the time set for
the opening of hostilities. The big
leader, likely as not bigger than the
teacher, has used Saturday and Sun
day mapping out his program.
Subdued smokers, inattention to the
business in hand, poorly prepared les
sons or lessons absolutely unlearned
mark the days proceedings. The teach
er reprimands and orders the school to
stick to those tasks until they are
learned. Nobody is kept in at recess or
noon rest. for as yet NO open defiance
has marked the demeanor, of the pu-
pills. They go slowly, for the temper
of the master is not a revealed thing
yet. Just before school lets out" the
teacher rises, taps his bell and, having
secured attention, delivers a curt lee
ture concerning what has been done
or, rather, not been done-and his anx-
ious desire to see Immediate improve
ment. Then the bell taps in dismissal
and the boys rush tumultuously out.
firing back bucolic shouts of scorn and
defiance as they scuttle away.
Then the teacher, if he Is wary,
knows he is in the position Of the man
who has bet his sole remaining dollar
on losing hOrse-he is up against it
good and plenty. He arrives at the
scene of his labors on Tuesday with
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Phenomenon EXPLAINED

"Why is it, said Mrs. Miggs, that
a single man is so anxious to take a
girl to the theater, and seems to care
so little about plays after he is mar
ried?'
That's very easily explained" an
swered her husband. 1T is due to n
certain deplorable but inevitable mas
culine vanity. When he takes the girl
to whom he is engaged to the theater
he knows she is comparing him with
the handsome hero of the play, and to
the disadvantage of the hero. After
marriage she doesn't hesitate to tell
him fatty that he looks like the low
comedian. an."-Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15

that young fellow right merrily. Half
dozen Of the bigger boys yelled foul
and went to the rescue.
AS lovely bicker as ever came off
in school house followed. The boys
which was upset, the forms were
marked by punches of hair as some
head went against an iron standard,
the dust of battle covered the strug-
CLING heroes, but the teacher would not
yield. The small boys and all the girls
were bowling in concert, scared into
fits. for all thought murder would be
done. But this kind of thing must end
and it did very suddenly.
The non-combatants were gazing Gag
erly at the place where the row went
in behind the dust clouds Shouts,
blows and howls broke the veil, but
nothing could be seen but an OCCASION
al protruding head. arm or leg which
was promptly smitten. The assailants
being over eager and lacking the cool
skill of four years battle with the
''Johnnies," were buffeting each other
in high vigor while the teacher lodged
in and out, missing a punch here and
giving one there. At last Wilson sud
denly shot out of the cloud and strik-
ing his shock head against a foot of
the stove upset that and hay out.
In time too short for record the big
boys were fleeing while the teacher
camped on their trail, laying about
with thick cane. He was something
careless concerning the part of the
anatomy, but he landed. He drove the
mob to a corner of the room and con-
tinued to baste those boys even after
they had all made submission. He in
tended to settle the bossism of that
school right there, and he did Then
as the smoke from the stove filled the
room he marshaled his enemies and
standing over them forced them to
right the stove and pour cold water
on Wilson.
The teachers head had a series of
bumps much resembling a map of the
Big Horns. But others also displayed
mountainous regions where naught but
hair had previously existed. Black
eyes once blue were frequent. In fact,
the teacher was the only one in the
bicker to ignore his bruises. The 9TH
erS lay on hands and emitted short,
poorly suppressed groans at intervals.
Wilson craved and obtained permission
to speak and made manly apology be-
war and it was never resumed.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
MAN IN THE IRON MASK.
Ancient Cemetery of St. Paul In Paris
His Supposed Burial Place.

Ancient Cemetery OF ST. Paul In Paris
His Supposed Burial Place.
One of the old houses Of Paris, stu
ated at IL Rue Beautreillis, is about to
disappear. and the place thereof will
know it NO more. 1t has been handed
over to workmen, who will demolish
it to make room for a workshop. Rue
Beautreillis is an ancient and narrow
street which the omnibuses do not
penetrate, remnant of the times when
the Place des Vosges was the Place
Royal and the home Of beaux. "pe-
ruked," and red-headed. In the gar
den of the doomed house, famous in
times past as the residence Of distin-
tradition says is the resting place of
that mysterious figure in history-the
Man with the Iron Mask, says the
Paris correspondent of the Pail Mall
Gazette. One remembers that this re
markable person died in the Bastile in
17O3 and the local register says he was
buried in the parish of st. Paul. Now.
of the ancient cemetery of st. Paul,
and the church, itself, is near at hand,
set in the midst of a cluster of old
houses. 1t is in the garden that the
famous Iron Mask is said to have been
buried, and the spot is the Mecca of
daily pilgrimages. Outwardly, the
place Is unlovely enough, ragged and
flowers try to live on, cut off from the
sunshine by the over-topping houses,
and prematurely faded by the smoke
from a neighboring wash-house, out Of
sheer respect for great name. In a
corner, where are the decayed trunks
of some acacias, and where a pool of
stagnant water gives an additional as
pect of melancholy, is the reputed
grave Of the Iron Mask. The old at
tendant will tell you that the water
does not run away because there is a
vault beneath covered over with a
thick bed of cement In the middle Of
the garden there is a subterranean pas
sage which leads by gentle descent
direct to the cave of burial. The ques-
ton which is agitating the minds of
the "Old Paris" society which watches
over these matters Is whether the
oones of this fascinating figure Of a
former century are really there. This
will be settled, perhaps, when the
tomb is opened. Will the strange in
strument that he wore for so many
years be found, rust-eaten, among the
remains? Actually, there Is on the
grave a column which bears an inscrip-
ton, cut with a knife, Here lies Mar
chiali, the Man with the Iron Mask"
1t would appear that the inscription
was copied from a stone, which was
formerly in place there. The ancient
cemetery of st. Paul is now almost
built over. Here, however, if one may
again believe the tradition of the quar-
ter, have lain the ashes Of Rabelais, of
Mansard, the architect who built the
Bank Of France, and the hotel, now
the Musee, Carnavalet, Of Moliere and
his SDOuS, Armande Reiart
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
THROUGH THE TELESCOPE.
Humble Tragedy of the Siege of Lady
smith.

HumbI Tragedy of the Siege of Lady
smith.
When the Beers besieged Ladysmish
they permitted a camp of refuge" and
| a field hospital to be established at In
tombi, few miles distant Here the
non-combatants were gathered. And TO
the hospital. writes George Lynch in
the London Daily Express, came every
morning the train from Ladysmith,
bearing its burden of sick and wound
ed.
To the dwellers at Intombi that train
! brought the history of the siege, the
daily bulletin written in blood and dis
ease. Women who had husbands and
brothers and sons in Ladysmith crowd
ed around always to see what news it
brought, and went away with sigh of
respite and relief when it carried moth
ing for them.
And yet, after fashion, these wom-
en- at Intombi were more fortunate than
the men in Ladysmith, since they could
learn from the new arrivals how their
loved ones Jared But men were not
allowed to go backward and forward
to Intombi; those who went had to re-
main, and somehow or other little or no
news seemed to reach the garrison.
In the dearth of news one man in
Ladysmith had arranged that twice a
week, when he could get off duty, his
wife at Intombi should go at II o'clock
and stand in front of big marquee
where he could see her through the
ships telescope at the At battery.
She went there regularly with her
child, and straining her eyes toward
that sandbagged point above Converts
Hill, sometimes fondly imagined that
she could see him. And as the months
passed her child. like the others in the
camp, grew more sickly, thin and pale,
till it seemed as if the Erl King spirit
of the miasmic fog had wrapped it
round and entered it, and made it
changeling of his own.
But delicate as the child was, the
mother was the first to fall sick, and
the news of her illness reached her hus-
band by his seeing one tiny figure
standing alone at the appointed place,
waving handkerchief. And there came
day when it, too, was no longer to
be seen. He could not go to them. but
had to stay and fight on with bitterness
in bis heart.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15

sembled this morning; why Is 1t In
| this condition now?"
Reckon they built them nests vile
| we wuZ at recess"
What were you doing ON the roof a
while ago?"
"Wuzn't up on no roof tall"
"Open those windows. Nobody is to
| leave the room until bid," says the an
CRY teacher, seizing the ruler in firm
grasp. You stuffed something in that
chimney, Simpson, and you're going up
there and take it out right now"
Think 500" is the impudent retort.
You will either do it or l will have
,, to punish you severely"
Reckon you better lick me-if ye
kin," says Jack as he defiantly faces
the pedagogue.
This places the school and teacher on
a war footing. The ultimatum having
been delivered the teacher either goes
in and fights a winning fight or loses
all control of the school. 1t admits of
no alternative. For the honor of the
profession, be it known, in most cases
war medicine of a fierce and eager va
riety is speedily mixed. In the early
clash bone and sinew on the side of the
big boy tells and the scholars dance
about, hoping for victory. In the end
in most cases skill, endurance and high
er nervous energy turn the scales and
in almost record time Simpson Is a
licked commodity. He may not actual
ly ascend to the roof to correct his er-
ror of judgment, but the thing is done
and the ''smoke out' is a dismal fail
ure.
In Kansas after the close of the war
in a little village to find homes. The
village school was taught by a former
trooper who still wore his blue uniform
vest. One of the New Workers was
the soul of mischief. He signaliZed the
coming of winter when ice was good
and skating fine by putting some aw-
full things on the big cannon stove.
The smell sent the school to the tall
grass outside. Wilson was charged
with the trick, but denied it stoutly.
Then the school reassembled and the
usually mild eyes Of that teacher blaz-
ed. Wilson was as big as he and fun
was sure to come.
The boys commenced to whistle in
concert with the shriu piping of the
wind. One small boy was detected in
the act and received a hot ruler on
his crupper when Wilson interposed
and said he alone was to blame. The
pedagogue then allowed he would have
to whip Wilson, so the action commenc-
ed without time wasted in prelilnina-
ries. Wilson sent the teacher in under
a form in the first clash. The teacher
rose and staggered to a clinch. Then
he got busy over Wilson and pounded
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
An Economical Parson.

"Br'er Williams, all thoo' de winter
season you wuz preachin' red-hot SER
monts on hell fire, en- now dat de spring
come you amt got word ter say bout
hell fire. How Gomez"
"Br'er Thomas, de wayfarin' man.
do mighty foolish, mout er knowed
why da. wuz. In de winter season.
Br'er Thomas, coal wuz Sc a MAT
lantic Constitution.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15

If he doesn't handle Monopole Spices
he ought to. If you want to try them,
send us his name and address with two
2-cent stamps for postage and we will
send you 10 cent tin~of Monopole
Cayenne or Ginger or White Pepper or
other variety. We know you'll say it
is the finest you ever used Send at
once to Wadhams & Kerr Bros, Port
land, Oregon.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
HOODS PILLS are the best cathartic.
Erudition.

Remember" said the Boston boys g
uncle, "that children should be seen
and not heard.'
"My dear SIR" was the courteous
rejoinder, "that izone of the theories
whose iallacy has long since been ad-
mitted by civilized nations. The en-
peror of China is about the only person
in the world who gives it serious con.
sideration Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
In InSfaIlrnerfa-

Mrs. Gay-But l told you to itemize
the bill.
The Milliner-The bill sent you on
the first was itemized; every item was
there.
Mrs Gay-Graeious! You don't un-
derstand me. l want you to send only
one item each month. or my husband
will never pay it.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Retaining Fee.

Guest-Are tips expected here?
Waiter--No, sab; we doan accept nc
vulgar tips, sab. We is free-bohn
American citizens, sab, we is. and we
wish to preserve our self respect, sab. "
81 am glad to hear that"
eyes, sab, all we require is retain
ing fee, same as lawyers, sab. New
York Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
OnIy Time Could Tell.

"Hey!" shouted the cycle policeman,
as the man in the big racing car started
to go past him like a railroad train,
"Ain't you riding a tritie more
than eight miles an hour?"
"How do know" howled the speed
maker over his shoulder. 81 haven t
ridden an hour yet. t.'-Automobile
Magazine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
A Vanishing Bird.

If the north German farmer looks
with equanimity upon the gradual dis
appearance of the stork, the Northern
tourist in quest of the quaint and pic
turesque will hear of the vanishing of
the long-legged. red-beaked bird with
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Patent Had Expired.

Lou Field met Gus Rodgers on the
Rialto few days ago. After talking
a few minutes Field said:
"Gus, what's become of those patent
leather shoes you wore last winter?"
"They have gone to the wall, Louis."
"Why, wasn't the leather good?''
eyes," said Gus with sigh, "but
the patent expired. New York
Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Noah's Troubles.

"Confound that dinosaurus!" ex-
claimed Noah. as the ark gave such a
lurch to starboard that the waves
dashed against the roof. "I wish il
would learn to stay on its own side OF
the boat!"
Then Noah seized handspike and
started below deck to shift the cargo
Ohio State Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Proves His Heroism.

''Did you say" asked the authors
friend, ''that your hero, who is poor, is
to marry the rich heiress''
eyes, that is the way he proves his
heroism.; indianapolis News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
The Sure WaX.

''How dare you send collector to
my house?"
''To tell the truth, sir, we were lit
tie doubtful about you"
"Then why not have me looked up?
You would then have known that l
never pay my bills. Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-15
Foreshadowings.

'Somethin' is bound to happen to old
Jones if he keeps on the way he's
goin'."
Think, so?'
Yes. He'll either git kicked by a
mule or run for the legislature At
tanta Constitution.