davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
ALFoNso's AMBITION.

The clever jingler of The Balti
more American thus dishes ur
young King Alfonso's hankering
for an American wife:
The King of Spain announces that he
would take wife
He wants lovely lady to brighten up
his life;
He wishes for helpmeet to gladden.
all his reign,
And make a joyous epoch within the
land of Spain.
He wants a handsome heiress-he
needn't say it twice,
For now there comes the chorus:
"Alfonso,
What's
Your
Price?"
The trade in noble titles is off a notch
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
Hill, the Unkissed.

Dave Hill says he never kissed
woman. If he had entered the
navy and turned out hero, things
might be different with him.-
Portland Oregon.
If it is true that David Bennett
Hill never took a drink, smoked a
cigar, or kissed a woman, perhaps
he should be given the Presidency
as a consolation prize. Kansas
City Journal.
David Bennett Hill refuses to
deny the story that he never kissed
girl in all his life. And the star
eyed Goddess hereabouts continues
to sulk and look toward cherubic
Tom johnson. Louisville Com
merciaI.
The long silence of David B.
Hill since he made that astounding
admission that he has never smok-
ed, drank, or kissed a woman
seems to indicate he has taken to
the woods for fear that some one
will try to spoil his record. -Osh-
kosh Daily Northwestern.
1t is now reported that David B.
Hill never tasted any intoxicating
liquor. Next thing it will be said
of him that he never ''hooked''
watermelons or drew caricatures
of the schoolmaster. The road to
the Presidency is indeed a hard
one. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Last Sunday was observed in
Washington, as it was all over the
country, as the first anniversary
of the death of President McKin-
ley and many eloquent sermons
were delivered on the life of the
late President, but this Difference
to the murdered President seemed
somewhat in the nature of an an
achronism in view of how thor
oughly his party has forgotten his
teachings, and even his successor,
who swore to carry out his policy,
mas now agreed to abandon that
reciprocity which Mr. Mckinley
outlined in his famous Buffalo
speech. President Mckinley, who
lad been the author of the highest
protection bill ever enacted, said
It Buffalo: "We must nd repose
n fancied security that we can for
yer sell everything and buy moth
ng. The period of exclusiveness
) past. Commercial wars are un-
A policy good will
nd friendly trad ians will
revent Feprisa But in
ne face OF made on
Washington .orate greed
ais is and his al :
'ged + Ontent themselves !
18th glitt platitudes on the
eauty of his home life. ]
To Cure Cold in One Day
axe Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab.
is, All druggists refund the nonnuI
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26

The latest runner current in
Washii on is to the effect inst
the Den rats of the Third Iowa
district unearthed certain un-
savory ind ents in the private life
of Mr.. Henderson, incidents 51
which figure most prominently tbs
flowing bowl" ETC., which they
were preparing to make public
during the campaign and that the
Speaker preferred to retire from
public life rather than undergu
this sort of fire. The rumor is I'M
confirmed and is given here for
what it is worth.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
The Best Prescription For Malada

Chills and Fever is bottle of Groves
Tasteless Chill Tonic. It is simple
Iron and Quinine in a tasteless form
No cure, No pay. Price, 5Oe.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
WHY?
AN anybody tell if Lynn

WHY?
Can anybody tell if Lynn
Is where they train the linnetF
Or why an angle worm has not
A single angle in it?
Buffalo Express
And, while you are about it, say
What is the reason why
May apples do not come in May
Or June bugs till July?
Chicago Tribune
Or why the daisies are not dazed
When rain falls from the skye
And piebald horses are not raised
by eating piebald pie?
Brooklyn Eagle:
Then tell us why dQgwood bark
Is but catnip tea,
And why man is on lark,
when he is all at sea?
Buffalo Commercial
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
To Cure a Cold in One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab
let's. All druggists refund the money
if it fails to cure. E. W. Groves sig
nature is on each box. 25c.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
THE ONE THING LACKING.
IN CONNECTICUT!

"Look here, I've found a trust
that is greater than any of 'em
that's on the pike!''
"What do they call it,"
"The nutmeg trust"
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
BATH HOUSE JOHNS NEWEST.

BATH HOUSE JOHNS NEWEST.
The grotesque Chicago alder
man, who goes by the sobriquet
of bath House john" is thus
presented afresh by the Chicago
journal:
"Tossing back his glass of n17u-
eral water, he continued: 4 have
written a new song since l left
Chicago. The title of it is 'u2-
der the Twinkling Stars" 1 think
it is even better than my ''Dear.
Midnight of Love-" which l claim
is one of the most sentimental bal,
lads ever written. | got the idess
for my latest effort at ColoraGa
Springs, where l went on my W.
cation. There are three verses
and chorus to the song. The
chorus goes this way:
"Under the twinkling stars, mid 4
bower Of roses fair,
[ lost my heart to sweet Irene on that
night in June so rare.
We plighted our love that summers
eve with kisses down near the bays;
Oh, the happiest night of my life YVES
that-under the twinkling stars"
"'I Isn't that pretty things
The sentiment is sublime. itput7s
"Annie Laurie" and 'Home,
Sweet Home" and all those other
old chestnuts out of business. The
words have been copyrighted, bHt.
the music has not yet been written
| think it will be the success Of
the season.N
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
You Know What You Are Taklnn

When you take Groves Tasteless Chill
Tonic because the formula is plainly
printed on every bottle showing thaf
1t is simply iron and quiniue in .
taSteless form. No cure, no paw. sec
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
OLD 81 ON 1.-THE 4OO."


The old man raised his specks
and lifted his eyes toward the cell
ing, while he uttered something
between a groan and a grunt.
"Well, now," said the editor -
what's on your mind this time?"
II jess bin reedin' whut Cunnel
Watterson done writ bout dem
400 foxes up yonder in de norf. !"
"What do you think of his pic
ture of them?"
"Boss, eff de Cunnel's kodak
didn't miss fab an fotergraft err
'skurshun party fun Helrs Kitch-
en- in Souf Boston, den all Pze got
to say am dat Pze pow'ful glad
dere's only 400 OBJ de gang dat, yes
er lambastin>w
Brer William says: Fer er
niger ter remembah de Sabbaf
day an keep it holy puts er
noughtY strain on his constance
IN dodgin' abilities on Saturday
intel"
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
GUST FROM GEORGIA. ;

BE BRAVE.
BE brave, O Heart! Throw not away
Thy faith in God
Who made thee from thy mother clay
Yet loves the clod!
What if thy way seems hard and long?
1t leads to Light
Nor can the craft of Hate or Wrong
Prolong thy Night!
An if thou fall, and human arm
Refuse thee aid,
Trust Him who keeps His own from
harm
''Be not afraid"
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26

We're counting up our millions in
iron, coal and steel,
In oil and corn and copper, in hogs
and beef and veal,
In mansions plutocratic each daugFl-
ter may be seen
Perusing gilded volumes on "How TO
be Queen"
Each daughter says: Oh, buy hlmL
l think it would be nice!"
The King is on the market.
"Alfonso,
What's
Your
Price,"
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
THE LATEST ISSUE.

"Say, have you seen the latest
issue of Life?"
"No, but I've heard it and it's
squally number!'
"What are you talking aboutW
THAT new baby on our bIockw
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1902-09-26
A SMOOTH DODGE.

81 see the candidates are only
Swimming one of the rising issues
in local politics."
"What's that?"
"The crematoryr'
THAT IOWA JUMPER.
There was man in Iowa
And he was awful wise;
He jumped into the tariff-patch
Right jam up to his eyes!
But when he heard the people
growl
And for "revision" shout,
He jumped a resignation in
And that way he got out!
THE ONE THING LACKING.
"Say, the carpenters and joiners
are having big time here in AT,
lanta."
Eyes, the carpenters are boss
fellows, but the joiners lack some
thing yet"
"What's that"
''Our Chief joiner"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
Sure of Applause.

That the theatrical claque Is not con
fined to playhouscs was demonstrated
beyond all shadow of doubt 10 the
teacher who was drilling the pupils for
the exercises n one Of the public
schools.
The unrcsponslvc bit Of fcmininity
over whom the amateur coach work
cd rcJoiccd I'm the name Of Sarah.
When Sarah began TO talk, all her
vocal organs took joyful holiday and
retired I'm favor OF her nose. In vain
the teacher begged ana lmpIorcd.
Sarah stll clung to her monotone.
Then the teacher threatened
SARAH" she said, "if YOU don't try
70 do better you will fail utterly, and
then how will YOU fcelt'
"Oh, they'll applaud me- Miss
Brown" returned Sarah easily, My
mother Is goin' to give my little broth.
or Andy 10 cents, and If he don't begin
clnppin' the minute ! sit down he's
goIn' TO be strapped within an inch OF
bis life New York Times.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
THE FIRST WOMAN.
An Old Eastern Legend That Tells
How She Was Created.

The last section "Of n Finger Of the
Moon Reddened by the Setting Sun" In
the sanscrlt work called the "Surging
OF the Ocean OF Time" contains "A legend
concerning womans creation which IL
commonly credited throughout India,
and which runs somewhat as follows;
At the beginning Of time, Twashtri. tho
Vulcan Of Hindoo mythology. created
the world. But when he wished TO
create n woman he found he had en-
ployed all his materials In the creation
OF man. There did not remain ono
solid element. Then Twashtrl, per.
picked, fell into a profound meditation
He reused himself 10 do as follows:
He took the lightness Oi.-thc leaf and
the glance Of the faw the gayety OF
the SUMS rays and tears OF the mist
the Inconsistency Of the wind, and the
tlmidlty OF the hare, the vanity Of the
peacock and the sOftncss OF the down
Oh the throat OF the swallow, the
harshness Of the diamond, the sweet
flavor Of honey, the cruelty Of the tiger
the warmth Of fire. the chill Of snow,
the chatter Of the jay and the cooling
OF the turtle dove. He melted all this
and formed We man. Then he made
a present OF her TO man. Eight days
later the man came to Twashtrl and
said:
'.My lord, the creature you gave me
polsons my existence. She chatters
without rest, she takes all my time,
she laments for nothing at all and Is al
ways H." And Twashtrl received the
woman again But eight days later the
man came again 10 the god and said:
"My lord, my life Is very solitary
since / returned this creature. / re-
member she danced before my singing.
recall how she glanced at me from
the corner Of her eye, that she played
with me, Clung TO me" And Twashtri
returned the woman 10 him. Three
days only passed and Twashtri saw the
man coming 10 him again.
"My lord,' said hc, II do not under
stand exactly how, but I'm sure ;nc
woman causes me more annoyance
than pleasure. beg Of you relieve me
OF her"
But Twashtri cried. "Go your way
and do your best"
And the man criVi, II cannot live
with her."
"Ncither can you live without her"
replied TwnshtrL
And the man went sorrowfully away,
murmuring, "WOc Is me; can neither
live with her nor without hcr.'-Coi-
licr's Weekly.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
How Rockets Are Made.

Skyrockets are made for two pur-
poses, for signaling and for decorations
or celebrations For signals the charge
consists OF II parts Of inter, Of sui
plsIr and 3 of charcoal. The decorative
rocket Is the one we see used on the
Fourth Of July. 1t is composed Of 122
parts Of finely pulverized powder so Of
inter, 10 Of sulphur and 40 OF cast iron
filings.
The main part OF the rocket is a
ease, made by rolling stout paper, COW
cred on one side with paste, around a
wooden form, at the same time apply
ing considerable pressure. The end Is
then "choked" or brought tightly to-
gethcr with twine
The paper case thus made is placed
In n copper mold so that n conical cop
per spindle will pass up through the
choke, and the composition Is then
poured in and packed by blows of n
mallet on n copper packing tool made
TO fit over the spindle. The top OF the
case is then closed with a layer Of
moist plaster Of paris one inch in thick
ness. perforated with n small hole for
the passage Of the flame to the upper
part or pot" The pot Is formed of an
other paper cylinder slipped over and
pasted TO the top OF the case and sur
mounted by a paper cone filed with
tow
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
STORY OF A FAMOUS POEM
How Grny's "EIegy" Made Its First
Public Appearance.


One OF the most celebrated OF eight
eenth century poems, Gray's "Elsgy,"
made It's first public appearance In the
shape OF a hurrledly printed pamphlet.
which was sold for sixpence. This pub
lication was the result or n curious
race for priority. Gray completed the
poem some time In 1850 but had no
immediate intqWion OF publishing II.
A copy, however. found its way into
the hands OF n Mr.. owen, the publish
er and proprietor OF the Magazine or
Magazines, n recently established perl
odical, and he wrote 10 the poet stat
ing his intention OF printing II In his
magazine, and asking his cooperation.
The proposal was not at all agreeable
10 Gray, but, seeing that publication was
Inevitable, he wrote at once 10 Horace
Walpole explaining the circumstance
and asking him 10 get Dodsley TO print
II Immediately, but without the au-
thor's name. Walpole handed the
poem 10 Dodslcy OF Feb. II, 17jl, and
on the 20th copy was In Gray's hands
at Cambridge, so that II was probably
published I'm London on the 18TH or
10th. The Magazine Of Magazines for
February, according 10 the then Gus
tom, was published toward the end or
the month, and may have come out on
the same day. The rival editions must
have appeared 1t is pretty safe to say,
within few hours Of each other. The
action OF the magazine editor was
hardly justlhable, but II laid the read
Ing world under debt OF obligation
by forcing the poem into print Sew
eral original copies OF the "Elegy" In
the poets writing are I'm existence.
One, which was sold for $l,l5O nt
sothoby's In 1875, was especially In
terestlng from the number OF correc-
tlons and erasures made by the au-
thor's hand. In this manuscript Gray
had substituted "Cromwell' and mil
ton" for Caesar and "Tully" ms he had
originally written. His friend Mason
is said to have suggested this altera-
ton ms well as the title OF the poem,
which Gray Mt first simply called
"Stanzas. Golden Penny
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
His Name ObItterated.

In some country districts in Ireland
IL Is not unusual TO see the owners
names simply chalked on carts and
other vehicles, in order TO comply with
legal regulations. Unfortunately, this
custom lends itself to the playing OF
pranks on the part OF "bhoys" mali
cously inclined, who sometimes rub oS
the lettering and thereby gets the cart
owner into trouble with the police. n
case OF this kind having occurred,
constabulary sergeant accosted coun-
tryman whose name had been thus
wiped out unknown to him: "ls this
cart yours, my good man" "Af coorse
1t is" was the reply; do you see any
thing the matter wild itY' II obsarve,"
said the pompous policeman, that
your name Is o-blitherated." Then
yer wrong" quoth the countryman,
who had never come across the long
dictionary word before, for me names
O'Reilly, an | don't care who knows
Liverpool Post.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
Minute Parts OF ~ watch.

The minutencss of the parts Of n
watch is shown by the following fig.
ures: IL takes 10000 OF one certain
kind OF watch screws to make n pound.
The pivot OF the balance wheel is only
one-two-hundredths OF an inch In diam
etcr. Each jewel hole into which a
pivot tlts Is about one-tive-thousanths
Of an inch larger than the pivot, TO
permit sufficient play. The finest
screw for small sized watch has a
thread of eco to the inch and weighs
one-one- hundred and thirty -thousandths
of pound. \ pallet jewel weighs one
northumberland fifty y-thousandths of n
pound: roller jewel n little more
than one two hundred-and-tfty-S
thousandths. The largest round hair
spring stud Is four-one-hundredths OF
an inch In diameter and about nine
one.hundrcths OF an inch In length.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
PnpIInp III pcnrI.

The lapidary was skinning a pearl,
according to the Philadelphia Record.
He had on gloves of very delicate
sort of Kid and the glasses that he
wore had lenses of such great magnify
Ing power that his eyes through them
looked rs big rs sauce"s II wear
gloves" he said. because the hands
persplre freely I'm this work, and per-
spirntion has often been known TO dis
color pearls. This stone was injured
10y the accidental dropping on 1t OF
some acid. The disaster discolored it,
YOU see. With this very delicate little
tool am removing the outer skin, and
if find that the acid has filtered
through and discolored the inner skin
also may remove that as well. A
pearl. you see is composed Of concen-
trio layers or skins, and you can, II
YOU are clever workman, peel II
down and down until il disappears
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28

Johnnie McCraw was bit of char
acter In country village In the north
OF Scotland. lie lived on the charity
OF the villagers but sometimes found
Il particularly hard work To do so.
One day. when the springs of sym
pathy seemed to have dried up, John
ME made his WY to the house OF the
local doctor and said:
1--WE come to get a my teeth taken
oot, doctor"
Dear mew said the medical man.
"what's wrang WI them"
"Oh. they're a. richt. but I've nae
use for them; I've noething to eat"
EYES," said the doctor, who saw the
joke; "hcre's slxpence for you to get q
loaf."-Pearson's
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
An Ambidcxtrous Artist.

Conrad Cook, son Of l.. w Cook, II.
A.. told me that he used 10 hold the
paper while Landsecr drew one animal
with his right hand and different
animal with his left, writes j. A. Man
son i'm "Sir Edwin Landscer. r. A."
This species OF dcNtcrity comes from
practice no doubt. and Is akin TO the
adroit manipulation OF the accom-.
plshcd pianist, but Is nevertheless cx-
truordinary, and several cases are re-
corded IN which Sir Edwin fairly as.
founded the onlookers by such displays
OF manual skill.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28

Dentistry is profess A.~~with five distinct
branches. demanding skill Of five distinct
kinds. In our practice there are specialists
for each branch
Our way assures good work in FIVE branch
es, because constant doing of one thing
makes skill. The usual way secures good
work in one branch only, because nearly
every dentist makes one branch his hobby
and ncplccts the oth,r sur.
Specialists not only do better work, but
with less pain than others, because they
work more deity and gently.
They do work cheaper, too, because they
consume less time. That explains our
prices.
GOLD FILINGS 81 UP; OTHER
FILINGS so CENTS UP; GOLD
CROWNS, - UP; ARTIFICIAL
TEETH, s. UP.
In this office over II years. Inquire about
us.
Financial reference, Industrial Trust Co.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
TuE law forbidding the sale of

THE law forbidding the sale OF
game birds in this state, which was
passed by the last Legislature, has
,ad a perceptible effect in increasing
he number Of birds in the woods and
fields. The law has done away with
market hunters who slaughtered large
uantlties Of birds every fall. This
ear the improved hunting has tempt
many amateurs into the field and
hey have generally hunted with good
uccess.-Manchester Comm Her
Id.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
WEsTcHHsrER COUNTY, n. Y,

WEsTcHKsTER COUNTY, n. Y,
farmers are having considerable trou-
bic with drunken cows. Apples
have fallen pretty freely from the
trees, and the cattle have eaten them
so freely that they get thoroughly
drunk, SO that they stagger like their
hothsrs of the human family when
d the same condition. Exchange.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
Terminal Not Yet Arranged.

"You have discovered n new disease,
have you, doctor? What are you 60
ing to call itT'
THAT is matter requiring some
thought" responded the eminent med
ical specialist. II have decided upon
n name s<far as the first three or four
syllables are concerned. but have not
made up my mind yet whether to clas-
slfy II as an it's or an 'osis.' '"-Chica-
60 Tribune.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
Added Attraction.

"No. indeed" said the crafty agent 10
the bride and bridegroom. "Our com.
pany does not prohibit kissing on the
platforms. and. besides, would call
your attention to the fact that we have
more and longer tunnels than any
other railway In the world."-Balti.
more American.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28

BUFFALO BILL is going to retire
from the show business after another
year in Europe. The "Wild West
was a bright business idea which has
been most successfully carried out.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28
All lie Ncded.

Ascum i hear That French count
your wife and daughter met abroad Is
going 20 visit you.
Richman-Y,s: believe he Is
Ascum- Better take French lessons,
hadn't your
Richman-Oh. I'm fixed. got n
professor 20 teach me how TO say. "Sor'
~. but I have made II a rule never to
lend money. y."-Clevclau Plain Dealer.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28

DIR. L. +. GARvIN is the second
emocratic governor elected in
,hode Island since 1888. Honest
I'm w. Davis, of Pawtueket, was
last democratic governor and he
we'd we'll and faithfully. DR.. l..
&c. Garvin will grace the govern
rs chair as he is well equipped
,entally, intellectually and practical
through his knowledge of men and
ate affairs. We presage a praeti-
Il, wise and conservative admins
stion Of affairs under his guidance.
81. Louis Butchers and Packers
bette.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1902-11-28

CHARLES II. Rowland, the pres
ent executive secretary, will, it is
said, be the next recording clerk of
the Rhode Island house of represen-
.tatives. Mr.. Howland will surely
fill the bill.