The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-05-18
OF INTEREST TO WOMEN
SYMPATHETIC COMPANIONsHIP Is
NOT A COMMON THING.
Shall Women Continue to Lose Their
Maiden Names i'm Marriage
Cooking school Lore.

THE satisfying companionship of his ST.
lent WIFE" says Mr.. Howells in the intro
ductory chapter of his last book This. says
a writer in the New York Post, subtle
phrase conveys what 1 have in mind and is
an calculation of what the dictionaries
very imperfectly define. When two people
can feel happy without word or effort
simply in being together, they have reached
a height of mutual comprehension to which
average humanity rarely attains. 1t is,
perhaps. the most difficult of our aspira-
tions TO realize.
People devoted to each other are enter
tanning. amusing, attractive, but TO find in
the mind or heart of any other human be-
ing that sympathetic comprehension and
response that leaves you beyond the neces-
sity Of effort TO explain, or TO perform
dutiful acts of disclosing yourself by word
or line, and that makes you sure of being
understood, is the acme, the climax of de-
lightful intercourse.
One reason why so few of us ever come to
this blissful state is our Impotence to find
out what is controlling the thoughts or
terminating in the minds of our dearest re-
lations. What does he think on this sub
We cannot wait, and the questioning wife
or friend Immediately shares the destiny of
those who bound to taste of immature
fruit; they will never enjoy its full ripe
flavor. A man, or a chum who dares not
stop talking, or using some form of occu-
patton for fear he will be asked what he is
thinking about, is robbed of all sense of
that companionship which satisfies. Repose
is one of its largest elements.
1t does not necessarily include unity of
opinion, nor even entire approval of judg-
ment and action, but il is born of and
based on that fellowship which precludes
vehement opposition and controversy, and
lnsures sympathy and participation even in
the troubles We bring on ourselves.
1t Is worth great deal to try to fit our
selves for that best place in the closer re-
lations of our lives, but, alas. most strong
natures find it natural to oppose, and the
more they love the more they are prompted
to try TO govern and control. The compan-
ionship which is ideal and complete pre-
cludes opposition.
l do not mean that one mind sinks itself
In the other, or that passive acceptance
precludes that desire to influence which is
inherent in all strong affection, but that
first OF all, come faith and comprehension.
To differ with one we love and Yet leave
open a door of possibility that they may
after all, have the better point of view, is
about the most uncommon mental attitude
we are likely to take the most unusual
that we shall ever encounter in others.
There are tens of thousands of men and
women ready to lay down their lives for
those they love, if they could only per-
suade. them to yield their opinions and be-
come converts to better counsels.
But the companion who shall be to us an
unceasing help and rest must be able to see
what he cannot accept and share the re-
suit or our mistakes without reproach.
1t is of great value in the rearing of a
family that brothers and sisters are trained
TO see the charm in each others prefer
enceS and give an interested hearing TO the
schemes which have no attraction TO the
temperament which has a different bent
The gradual learning to value tastes ac-
quirements, amusements, hobbies, because
they are dear to those nearest TO us and
gaining the power to understand why they
are delightful, lays a basis for later adj
vancement to that goodly company of
Whom there are so feW-companions who
have the key TO our hearts and can rest
and comfort them.
1t is not overstating the case to say that
men and women, husbands and wives
parents and children, brothers and sisters.
friends and classmates love much and are
faithful, without proving to be companions
in any large or exalted sense. The loneli-
ness of many lives in homes rich with ma
terial blessings and ruled over by loving
and anxious hearts comes largely from this
lack of fellowship.
1t seems TO descend into the regions of
vague and uncertain thought which cannot
be put into strong and helpful words when
we come so close to what is so spiritually
clear and yet so delicate and intangible
But nothing is surer than that men and
women have been longing for tender COM
Partnerships 10 the verge of a heart-break,
on whom the most emotional demonstra-
ton has been lavished without satisfying.