The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-07-18

e.
"Why, do you battle, fair maid?' asked he.
Then he his question did deplore.
But, though tAee4apswer aoorea him fat,
H was not ><4sS to dismay-
Tor sandry reasons tn sir" SAID di she, ne
-Brookiyn Eagle.
4 Kentucky Summer Outft.-Have
| any Of the warm days this summer re-
called to the mind of Senator Black
burn of Kentucky the time he was sud-
denly summoned to Washington, twenty
odd years ago, in the middle of June, to
| look after small matter of patronage?
His departure was SO sudden, and the
prospect of his staying more than Il day
or two away from home SO remote, that
! ne carried with him only a handbag. But
business heaped up Oh him after his ar
| rival at the capital, and he was obliged
| to telegraph back a request for trunk
| full of Summer clothing. His little daugh-
ter happened to be the only member of
! the family at home when his dispatch
arrived, and, thinking it her duty to re-
snlpped it, first slipping note inside,
Dear PapaA1 send you all the clothes
can find, and hope you are well.''
-: Inc trunk cantainetf=seven white shirts,
six winter scarfs, one tooth brush, one
bowie knife and two revolvers. 1t was
"a rueful eutiook, For Black burn with the
thermometer u p among the nineties, but
he listened to no proffered condolences
MY daughter has done right" he said !;
she; sent iIe what. aEreal Kentucky girl
regards suitable summer outfit Tor q
gentleman. -Harper's Weekly.
- T;p:--
Amy is little maid of 6. One day
she asked her mamma if people always
k x when they went to: Gods house:
Her mamma, scarcely noticing what she
said, replied: +.
| Eyes. darling!Y
\ short time after it began to thunder,
and Amy exclaimed:
There! Somebody's got to Gods
house, hear them knocking"
1t is related of Marshall P. Wilder that
he can tell fifty parrot stories in sue
not new, but it is worth repeating for
the purpose of asking the question
whether it has ever been surpassed in
parrot literature? The story is that of
the parrot which escaped through win
dow and perched in tree. The owners
efforts to capture it, even with butter
hy net, were in vain. He stood at the
|
| when an Irishman came along.
what is the matter?' demanded Pat
Il can't catch that darned Bird said
the man. ''and here is a dollar for the
man who cam"
Il am the man. cried Pat, and he
started up the tree
AS he climbed, from branch to branch
the parrot did the same. Finally they
neared the top, and the branches began
to wabble dangerously. The parrot was
moved to speech.
hat the devil do you want? - it de:
::I>beg your our pardon cried Pat, already
half way down the tree. ~ thought you
was Bird
l. Our little Florence, on being prepared
for church one Sunday morning, regard
ed her bonnet with much satisfaction
and said:, - .,.>.~.. &C ps-.. y.-x- ..s ,.a., .. .
t Il guess my. bonnet is the fashiones1
bonnet they sH'.-~... ,.--..-.,-.~ ,.....~.. ::
One day, when she saw some icicles
hanging to the window, she said:
"Oh, mamma dear, come and see the
sticks of rain!'
The five senses formed the groundwork,
of a little: discourse which was delivered
to busy broker at the corner Of Fourth
and Chestnut streets yesterday by q man
to whom time evidently did not mean
money. The broker was proceeding down
the street, when obliged to stop ut the
corner until trolley car went by. 1t
was at this moment the theme was
preached to him.
1t is very singular was the remark
made to him by rather seedy-looking
individual, ''hOW acute some senses be.
come. There are five of them, of course
but with everyone some particular sense
is more acute than the others. Just see
how carefully that blind man steers his
way along the crowded street. Now
WITH lime me the best developed sense is that
| The broker looked his man over hur-
riedly again. Meanwhile the car was
clearing the crossing.
'That may be- he replied, as he
stepped down off the curb, ''but you can't
touch me!' philadelphia Telegraph.
Representative Southland of Ohio re-
calls an incident which happened up on
ington Post. An excursion steamer was
wrecked, and it was supposed that every
body had been drowned. About mid
night Mr.. Southland received this tele-
gram from one of the survivors: Il am
saved, but please break the news gently
to my wife,
| oANoAA
of il discussion at Il univ ersity debating
society i'll which it was argued that
$1,000 a year is the best income for a
bachelor" One speaker opposed the mo-
ton in a speech of some humor. His
chief objection to the estimate was that
a bachelor could not hope to marry on
such an income. Up rose fluent gen
tleman from the East who tore to tatters
the arguments of those who had ep-
posed the motion with tremendous fire
and energy. He kept the previous speak
er to the last, and annihilated him in the
following words: The honorable gentle
man, sir, says that bachelor cannot
marry on 1900 year. But allow me to
point out the egregious fallacy underly-
ing the honorable gentleman's argument.
Sir, l maintain, ex hypothesi, and 1 re-
specially submit that my contention can
in no wise be controverted, that the mo-
nlent a bachelor marries, he. ipso-facte
leases to-be-a-bachelor!' Then he
sat down, complacently smiling, amid a
storm of applause ....
! -:O:-
Visitor-Why do you have 'sKeep off
the grass notices all over this park?
You don't seem to enforce the restric-
! tion.- Policeman-We~ dot -se-that peo-