davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
THE ABYSSINIAN CALENDAR.
Names Of the Days md Years Are
Those of snints-Mcthod of
Reckoning Time.

A fearful and wonderful thing is
the Abyssinian calendar. Nearly every
day is saints day. and is known by
its proper name, and not by its date.
For instance, if you ask an Abyssinan
whether a certain thing happened on
the 14th Of Hadar (the equivalent Of
our November 23). he will not under
stand what you mean; but If you say:
WAS it on Abuna Aragawe (the name
for that day. that you stole that
sheep?" a comprehending smile will
overspread his handsome and intelli-
gent features.
The year is divided into 12 months
of 30 days each, and at the end of the
year, to make up the 365 days. are
added five days, called "Quagme."
Each year in succession is called
Matthews, Markos, Lul<os, Johannis.
Matthews, Markos and Johannis have
each a "Quagme" of five days. but
Lukos, or leap year, has "Quagme"
Of six days. The Abyssinian year be-
gins on our September II, and, al
though dating as we do from the birth
Of Christ. they are nearly eight years
behind us in time-Septembe II, 1900,
was in their calendar list Maskaram,
1893. Their method of reckoning the
hours of the day is also peculiar, to
our notions. They count the day as be-
ginning at sunrise. and not at mid
night, as we do. Thus our seven a. m.
is their ~ o'clock day; eight p. m. is
their one o'clock day, and our six p. m.
with us would be two o'clock night
with them. and our four a. IN. would be
their ten o'clock night.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
The Diplomatic Grocer.

II DON'T sec why you continue to deal
with Sands ?" said Mr.. TIauskeep, "he's
the most dishonest grocer in the neigh
borhood."
How can you say such thing?" ex
Mrs. Hauskeep, who is growing
Interestingly stout. "Ile weighed me
on his scales the other day and only
weigh 1jl. ! think he's real gentle
manly" -Philadelphi Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Mrs. Upton FIatte-Norah, will
you try to have the steak little
more rare, after this?
The Cook (bristlin9 up)-Ts it find
in fault wild me cookin', yez are?
Mrs. Upton Flatte-O. no. no. no!
John and ! thought YOU might OBJ
iect to remaining over the fire so
long.-Puck.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
British Women 4. Pol,,,c.

The movement to make room for
British women in the political nd pro-
fessional fields grows apaoe, apparent
~ without much assistance from tho
opposite sex. At the annual me Getting
Of tho Birmingham Society for Pro.
noting the Election Of Women Guar.
dians, one Of the women speakers said:
"Ths only complaint we have TO mako
against men IL that they are . little
too retiring" Lieut.. Gen. Phelps. who
was present, somewhat CALAMITY re-
piled: where women are SO capa Bile
of doing the work IT would DO super.
auops Tor W. " tntssvs2s.~.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
They Laugh e d.

Mrs. Brown hope you didn't let on
about Aunt Hannah's queer spelling a t
your club last night.
Mr.. Brown-I'm afraid did, could
not help it you know. When | told the
fellows that she spelled cough"
"kough" instead Of "kawf." thought
they'd never have done laughing .-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Somew hat Put Out.

"The service at this hotel" said the
boarder who was generally behind in
his payments. els abomina BILE, and I'm
not going to put up with it much
longer"
you're right" said the landlord,
overhearing him. "If you don't put
up something pretty soon you'll put
up somewhere else. chicago Trib
une.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Something Expected.

Ida-Nou look nervous, dear.
May-Nes. ] am sure Dick is going
TO propose when we get out on the
links.
What makes you think SOP"
"Why, heard him bribing the ced-
dy to make ont he was too sick TO
keep up with ."-Chicago Daily
News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
He Was the Real Thing.

Scenes, having sent stupid servant
to do an errand, was greatly ANNOYED
on finding that he had done exactly the
opposite to what he had been ordered,
why, vow haven't common sense
he demonstrated.
But, sir"
shut up, should have remembered
that you were an idiot. When I'm
tempted TO send fool on an errand
again, I'll not ask youth go my
self, Tit Bits.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
HERE'S A QUEER THING.
The "MorninE Hour" In the senate
Begins Mt Noon and Lasts
About Two Hours.

The "morning hour is one Of the
queer things of the United States
senate. In the first place the morn
ing hour" is two hours long, though
il may be completed in ten or Is
minutes. In the second place, says
the Washington star, it never oc-
ours in the morning. but begins at
IL o'clock noon, except on the rare
occasions when the senate meets at
10 or II o'clock. Senator Hoar, of
Massachusetts,, is responsible for the
to make it cover 100 minutes. Prior
to IA years ago the morning hour.
" lille existing in the afternoon, was
but an hour in length, but a resolu-
ton submitted by Mr.. Hoar was
adopted August 10, 1883, and that
provided that the 'morning hour
should be two hours in length or that
it should end at two o'clock. Ihis
resolution provided that after to-
day, unless otherwise ordered, the
morning hour shall terminate at the
expiration of two hours after the
meeting of the senate" The morning
hour is devoted to the presentation
of petitions. the introduction OF bills,
REPORTS Of committees, etc, and is
the time when all sorts of little mat
ters Of that kind are attended TO. At
two o'clock the presiding officer lays
before the senate the bill on the cal
endar, which is set aside as having
precedence over other measures, ana
that is generally the time for long
speeches of all kinds unless una nj
nous cons nt is secured to consider
pension bills for specified time or
unobiected bills on the calendar.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
His Great Qualification

The animals were preparing for
smateur theatricals.
II want to be the heavy villain"
said the sheep.
"lou." snorted the intelligent
horse. You'd make a fierce-looking
villain, wouldn't you?"
Maybe not" retorted the sheep,
"but III bet none of you can beat
me saving bah! '-Catholic Stand
ard and Times.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Kind Lady-Do you know your let
tiers, little boy?
Boston Prodigy Jagged seventh
You mean to ask, madam, whether or
not | am able to recognize at sight
the 2e fundamental characters upon
which the English language is based,
] should reply to you that learned
those when I was mere child.-Co-
lumbus CO., State journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
How Kinks Wna Hook g d

"Mrs. Weeds" said Mr., Binks, q
asked your daughter to marry me, and
she referred me to YOU"
I'm sure that's very kind of Susie,
but then she always was dutiful girl.
Really, Mr., Binks. | hadn't thought of
marrying again at my time Of life, but
since you insist suppose we make the
wedding day the twentieth of this
month Tit Bits
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
How They Grow.

First Year-The biggest trout ever
caught was foot and half long, and
he had big fish-hook in his stomach.
Tenth Year-Did ! ever tell you
about the trout l once caught? TWAS
over yard long, and had an anchor in
his stomach.-N. Y. Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Sister Helene-To me there is No
another opera like Martha" SUI.
soothing catchy melodies as they al
lure into forgetfulness! Really,
know nothing like better than "Il'
Last Rose"
Brother Herbert-Iudeed I prefe
the first asparagus.-N Y. Times.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
SNrrY She Asked

"Whv. bridget" said her mistress,
who wished to rally her for the
fantastic ornamcnting of huge
pie. "why. Bridget, did you do this ."
"Indade. il was meself that did it
replied Bridget. 'lsn't il pretty,
mum? 7 did il with yer false teeth.
mum."-Pearson's Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
M Time Lost.

Mrs. Seldom-H olme--Do you know
anything about these people that
moved into the house next door TO you
yesterday?
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego-I know all
about them. They haven't put any
blinds on their windows yet.-Chicagc
Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Nurse (who has been many hours on
duty, to patients mother) When do
you think | shall be able to go to bed?
Patients Mother-Go to bed? I
Punch
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

The Sage-Did | see you talking to
Capt Hawk just now?
The Innocent with enthusiasm)-
Yes; and isn't he splendid fellow?
He's the man for my money.
The Sagc-Ah' and he'll have it, too,
before he's done with you.--Ally
Sloper.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Ono of the Directors.

"They tell me that Jim Muggins is
one of the directors in big city corpo-
ration now" said the grocer,
"Yes; l seen him las time I was
down to town" said Mr.. Meddergrass.
"He directs the envelopes FIR the firm"
Baltimore American
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Waiter-How would you like to have
your steak, sir?
Meek Customer (who has been wait
ing 20 minutes)-Very much, indeed,
thank you, If it isn't too much trouble.
Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Fully QuaIiHed.

Husband (angrily-What! More
money? When I'm dead you'll prob
ably have to beg for all the money you
get.
Wife (calmly)-WeIl, I'll be better
off than some poor women who never
had any practice.-Chicago Daily
News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Smoker-You sell cigars, and yet you
are opposed to smoking in your store
Why?
DrugCist-The smoke is offensive to
many of my customers.
Smoker-Of course But that's east
~ remedied. Sell better cigars.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
The Correct Fxrressiop

Teacher-Now. Master Kirby, You
should be more correct in your com
position. You say, 4 love school,
Now, school cannot be loved. Can't
You use a more correct expression?
Master Kirby-"l hate school."-Tit-
BITS
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Som lie EsCa pc.

Ruckeye-What does a member Of
the legislature get in your state?
Keystone-That depends, Some
times one is sentenced for year or
two, but more frequently he gets or
scot-free.-Cathoiic Standard and
Times
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

To-day is here and yesterday is gone
o-morrow? All, who knows that 1t will
dawn?
Why babble Of tomorrow. anyway.
For when II comes twill only be to-day.
Chicago Record Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Loves Consideration.

Young Wifc-narling. would you
have married me had ! not been
rich?
Young Husband - OF course. not,
my dear. loved you too much to
have ever asked you TO share my
povertv.-Chicago Daily News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

The hens a creature most perverse,
Displaying malice deer;
She quits when eggs are needed,
And lays when they are cheap.
washington Star
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Tartlsy-Why don't you get the book
your wife asked you for last week?
Smartley-She wouldn't read it now
There's a new one out since then
Town Topics.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
lack and I'LL

She-The way to a mans heart is
through his stomach.
He-The way to girls heart is
through her vsuity.-Yonkers States
man.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Newsboy-Pape, parry, sir? All de
news.
Editor lin a rush)--Go way, boy, l
make those things.
Newsboy-Gee! II OATS right, no
wonder we cant sell 'em!- st. Louis
Globe Democrat.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
She Mnuld Get EYrn

Fond Parent | wish, Bobby, that
l cou'd be little boy again.
Bobby wish you could-littley
than me.--Tit-B
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Twins In lancashire

Lancashire boasts of producing more
Iwins than any other county in the
United Kingdom. During the past five
ears Cos pairs Of twins were born an.
nually in that county. OF this number
Liverpool contributed ITO and Man
chester 70.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Important Considerations.

Concerning modern literature,
It has been sadly limited
That less depends on wha: Is writ
Than how It's bound and printed.
Washington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

Richie, all addressed, ready for his
bath stood before his mother--Now
mamma, I'm little kid,
"Yes, dear"
"Do you know what kind Of kid
am?"
NO, Richie"
"Why, I'm nakid"- Boston Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
The saddest Yet.
Gentle,

| or all sad words of tongue or pen.
| The saddest are these; Just loan me ten :
Detroit Free Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16

ont rather than saving for n rainy
day They are just and honest in
their dealings and have faith in God.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-16
Looking English.

Aunt Debby Chewing the city,
What does that sign "Misft Store"
mean?
Uncle Abner Ga close observer)-I
s'pose that's where these ere angler
maniacs gets measured for clothes so
folksll think they was made in Lon
DOM. Y. Weekly.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1902-02-15

man listened to II all with the most
friendly and sympathetic interest.
1t seemed. like a quaint, pleasant
dream when 1t was all over, the beau
tiful music, the walk home, the state
ly adieus of her courtly old escort.
She had enjoyed 1t, and so, she felt
sure, had Mr.. Barlow, and now II
would be stored away as pleasant
memory. Her friends laughingly
questioned her about it the next day,
but Hildegarde did not care to talk
much about it. After all, what was
there to say?
1t was several days before Hide
garde went into the little shop again
She half dreaded return of the old
taciturn, unfriendly manner. But no
there was the greeting of real friend.
illness in the old mans smile.
"Can you step here a moment, Miss
Hildegarde?" he asked, when he had
tied up her small purchase of pens
Hildegarde followed him, wonder
ing. The next moment, standing in
the doorway of the adjoining back
room, she gave low exclamation.
In the farthest corner, furnished,
dusty, and silent, stood a harp, its
strings family cleaning in the after
noon sunlight.
ut belonged to my little girl" said
Mr.. Barlow. II could never bring
myself to part with it, poor as have
become, but will lend it to you, if
you will accept the loan. Then you
can take lessons and perhaps become
the great musician, after all" His
eyes twinkled kindly, though there
was a curious faltering in his voice, as
If the words cost him something.
"Oh!" exclaimed Hildegarde breath
lessly. 80, Mr.. Barlow!"' Then the
tears came into her eyes, and she
could not say any more at all.
There, there!" said the old man
quite cheerfully. 81 am glad to let
you have it, and will take it around
tonight after 1 close the shop"
need not tell how Hildegarde tried
| to tell her thanks, nor of the talk
she had with her mother when she
reached home that wonderful after
noon, nor what they all said to one
another in the coy sitting room
when Mr.. Barlow came around in
the twilight. But if Hildegarde
| thinks she has more to be thankful
| for than any one else in the world
there is one person ut least who will
never agree with her, and that is the
crabbedy man. For is there not al.
ways a corner for him in that pleas
ant sitting room, with the easiest OF
easy chairs, where Hildegarde brings
him tea that she has made herself
and then plays for him in the long
evenings, just as the little maid, dead
| so long, used to do?
1 do not know if Hildegarde still
dreams of being great musician
but she is working hard, and Ap-Mor
gan himself can give no greater pleas
ure to his crowded audiences than she
gives day after day to those who love
her, the pale mother, the dear ole
crabbedy man, and the young people
who make up her circle of friends
of whom Archie Bale is still chief
And what is music for if not for this
Young People.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1902-02-15
Scared by Indians.

One of the most ludicrous pleas for
pension was made right here in
Portland. When the applicant was
asked if he ever served in the army or
navy, he said "No." Asked as to what
grounds he had based his application
on, he said that he was in eastern
Oregon when the Indians went on the
warpath; that in making for a point
of safety he and some other men were
attacked by the Indians, one of the
other men being killed, and another
wounded. He escaped on account OF
The feetness of his horse, but the
encounter caused him such excite,
ment that he had had occasional fiji
ever since, and on account of the fits
he thought he was entitled to pen
sion-Portland Oregonian.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1902-02-15
MAKING AN EXAMPLE.
An English Judges Capture of a
Predatory PettifOgger Who
WINS Trcspassing.

1t is a misfortune of criminal courts
of justice that they attract many at
torneys of doubtful or worse than
doubtful reputation, who hover about
seeking to pick up a client by hook or
crook. Lord Norbury, well-known
English judge, had long been annoyed
by the presence of such fellows, but
at length one of them was delivered
into his hands, relates Youths Com
panion.
1t happened toward the close of a
court session. A shabby-looking at
torney was prospecting for business
in the prisoners dock. just as he
was climbing back over the rails, his
lordship called out shortly:
"Jailer, one of your prisoners is es-
Gaping! Put him back!"
Back the attorney was thrust, and
then the following colloquy ensued:
"My lord, there is mistake here. !
am an attorney"
81 regret exceedingly" said Lord
Norbury, ITO see one of your profess
sion in the dock"
"But, my lord, I am innocent"
"Yes," said the judge, "they all
say that, but jury of your fellow
countrymen must settle it."
"But, my lord" said the attorney,
now growing desperate, "there is NO
indictment against me-"
"Then," remarked his lordship, you
will be put back, and if no one APP
pears to prosecute you, you will be
regularly discharged by public proc
lamation at the end of the assize."
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1902-02-15
roo SUPERIOR.

There is a girl who lives near by;
A wondrous cultured lass.
In every art she loves to try
Her neighbors to surpass.
On the plano morn and night
She plays selections quaint,
And am told tits her delight
To broider and TO paint.
Her name Is often seen upon
Some literary page;
And she can tell of what was done
Back In a classic age.
Such admiration does she claim
1t makes her sisters wroth,
and yet about this wondrous flame
There fingers ne'er a moth.
Eor young men are a timid sort.
/ And fear that they by chance
If they should go to pay their court
Would show their ignorance
And set those lovely lips a-curl
And plunge them deep In woe;
So. it's the plain old-fashioned girl
That mostly gets beau.
washington Star.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1902-02-15

Accommodates the matter with
Jenkins?
Gobang-Met with an accident
while hunting.
"You don't say?"
Eyes, he was hunting for trouble,
and he accidentally ran up against
me."-Philadelphia Press.
The age-herald., 1902-03-06
STICK TO IT Until Coffee Hits You Hard.

It is about as well to advise people to stick to coffee until they get hit hard enough, so that they will never forget their experience, although 1t Is rather unpleasant to have to look back to half dozen years of invalidism, money and opportunity thrown away. which is really the terrible price paid for the weakest kind of mess of pottage."
 A woman writes and her letter Is con- densed to give the facts in a short space :: "I was coffee slave and stuck to it like a toper to his cups. notwithstanding I had headaches every day. and frequently severe attacks of sick headaches, then I used more coffee to relieve the head aches, and this was well enough until the coffee stimulant wore off, then I would have sick spells. Finally my digestion was ruined, severe attacks of rheumatism began to appear, and ultimately the whole nervous system began to break down and I was fast becoming a wreck.
 At this time I was induced to quit coffee and take up Postum Food Coffee. This was half a year ago. The result has been most satisfactory. The rheu- matism is gone entirely. blood is pure, nerves practically well and steady, di- gestion almost perfect never have any more sick headaches and am gaining steadily in weight and strength" Name given by Postum Company, Battle Creek, Mich.
The age-herald., 1902-03-06
Otis Skinner.

There is no young actor before the American public today better equipped in point of varied experience and super for training than Otis Skinner. This might sound like an extravagant state m ent to anyone not conversant with his earlier career on the stage. but the mere mention of two of his preceptors in the art of the actor, under whose directing eyes he played many parts" should be sufficient to warrant the foregoing state ment. In MT. Skinner's early youth he played leading juvenile parts with Law renee Barrett, notably when the latter produced Francesca da Rimini." After leaving MT. Barretts company MT. Skin ner joined Augustin Dalys famous stock company, of which he was a valuable member throughout the most successful career of its existence. The intelligence and the intensity which had been in spred and cultivated by the serious and tragic drama were thus supplemented by the smoothness and delicacy of touch so essential to the delineation of high comedy roles. When to those acquired virtues were added the unquestionable dramatic instinct and natural powers of expression possessed by MT. Skinner, the sum total Is easily arrived at. During more recent years the professional pro- gress of Mir. Skinner at the head of his own company has been steadily toward com plete success But above and beyond all his previous charaoterizations, his Lanciotto in Francesca da Rimini," which will be presented at the Jefferson Theater tomorrow night, is said to stand forth as his best and most brilliantly artistic achievement
The age-herald., 1902-03-06

quality Here Is striking almost mascu- line determination in the well-plaeed tones and an artistic skill in phrasing that is very pleasing. At times Mme Foedor presents other attractions. In two songs this was apparent last night. In her last scene with M. Vilette she demonstrated the great nexibility, the great range and sweetness of her voice, also Its smooth even quality. Her higher notes were not shrill, but were softly scintillent, while her lower register Is extremely brilliant and Is full of warm sensuous color. In the strong emotional scenes Mime. Foedor reaches the most im- portant results and reaches them natur- ally.
 Her acting is notably good. She achieves the most effective success by using natural methods. Her death scene is horribly realistic and with the curse of Barnaba pouring into her deaf ears with his confession of having drowned her mother Gioconda passes away. In this scene Mime. Foedor was superb.
 Mme. Fpedor will be heard as Valentine in "The Huguenots' at the Jefferson Theatre next Saturday night At the matinee Carmen will be the bill
 The sale of seats will commence this morning.