The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-01-10


That ncer was spoken yet.
Heres to you. Mr.. Riley.
Your book Il welcome guest.
1T $ good to read your dialect
And then skip all the rest.
wv. y. EpShit in Baltimore American.
lhls is 4 story that was overheard.
n, drAnlatis pcrSonae were two gentle
men who came to Washington from Kan
sas City, HAS,, to secure talent for a
Democratic banquet. They were ordered
to secure Admiral Schlcy at all hazards.
But Admiral Schley had his hands full
and declined. They invited two or three
other prominent nav:1 men, and they de-
cllnnu--the order was to secure some one
tn represent the navy. The two gentle
men were canvassing the situation on
the street car.
Say" exclaimed Smith-which wasn't
his name any more than jones belonged
t" the other-'What about the man who
said Don't cheer; they are dying;' may
be- he would come. What-was-his-
namey'
"Um-cr-oh. yes-philip," replied
Jones: ,snpp:"sc We ask him..
Hes dead,' answered Jones.
Smith seemed to he thinking very hard
for a few moments, then slapped Jones
on the knee as an idea struck him.
i've got her now. Let's get that duff
fer that wa" with Dewey. He's straight
goods: The one that Dewey told You
may fir" when ready What's his name:
! can't recall it,"
That was Gridlcy," returned Jones.
well, let's get Gridley," said Smith.
Hes dead, tou,' Jones replied, gloom
lily.
Then they went back to Kansas City
and declared the banquet off. when Il
loemocrat takes to water he usually
81 IlS' Knit 1c..n ,rt
Washington Star
'Bobbic,' said Tim, ''let'> play rrri-
prncity. You go in the house and get al
apple for me and then Iii go and get one
for you. That's fair, isn't it,
Bohbie thought it Was and got tine ap-
PIE, which Tim ate. Then Tim wcAt i'll
10 the house. He was gone a long time;
and when he came out he had no apple.
where's millt:" cried Bobbie.
Ma said you couldn't have another.
said Tim, >rrene]y. aShington Times
1t was in the morning hours of bake
day. in the little uut-nf-the-way village.
The mingled odorS Of fresh bread. pies
and cookies tloatpd out of the open kitch-
rn windows. From one of the smaller
Il barefoottl child in colorles~ calico
dress and >lat sun-bonnet. With the inn
pnrtaht air OF Il heavy buyer she entered
the village store and handed across. the
counter a blue teacup. The proprietor
took the cup and said in brisk tones:
today?' "Please, sir, ma wants :n eggs
worth, Of molasses," and she carefully
placed a large white egg on the counter.
From u stone, jug little molasses was
poured and the cup set before, the GUS
took her purchase. I'll be back in it,
tic, while, for some ginger. Ma said to
TELL you the black hen was on And the
buyer walked with dignity ont the store
Honr and ~ the village street to her
h"nc.,1 M. NJ. in the ''Drawer,'' Hair
Serene contidencr.-'l am afraid" said
the publisher. that you are harmi,r:
:I"ur reputation by the indifferent work
You are putting into this new Serial
Nonsense answered the <elf-asSurcd
author. Even if the work is unusually
poor. the public will take it for granted,
that l IN. great. Otherwise l couldn't
Star.
\ few nights ago Mark Twain told 10
some friends Il story about himself
which he failed to incorporate in 'I.ifc
ON the Mississippi" On one occa sion
when no started on a trip down the river
OH Il fla boat he was advised never tc
answer the questions asked by rivermcn
Oh other boats. and never to handy words
with them. as he would he sure always
TO come out second best. re followed
the advice religiouSly for time. hut one
day he thought he saw chance t" get
the better OF Il rlverman. who called out :
Hey thar. what you loaded with?"
''JarkasSeS. Don't YOU want tn come
;bnard? yelled Mark Twain.
That's whit | rerkoned. scein' as
how they let Their biggest donkey hey
Their run Of the deck.' came back. Twain
made dive below as ali the rivermcn
in the neighhorhood set up Il dersive
laugh at his eNpense.-Eew York Times
Nancy 'trying to- pick up some lost
stitches in stocking)-"On. dear.
can't do this: You must have patience
dear child. Don't you know Rome was
not built in day" Nancy indignantly,
If God made. heaven and earth in six
days l guess it didn't take him moro
Than twenty minutes to make Rome."-
Life.
1t is the custom Of certain critics to say
of the work Of a new author: He has
written Il book, yet we do not recall, tina:
we ever met with his name BEFORE
And what Of that, if the work ne good
work? In the creed Of these critics he
is to be damned because they didn't have
an earlier introduction to him. They arc
not as just us the Georgia landlord in
this"story:
A traveller dining ut an inn damned tho
food, swore at the walters and raised Il
racket generally.
Looking over the register, the landlord
said to him:
"Sir. I never met with man Of Your
name before. but III give you credit for
helm the >l-est swearer in good company
that ever shamed Gods vittics under my
f."-Atlanta Constitution.
She-"That MISUNDERSTANDING man
with the Van Dyke beard is a celebrated
animal painter" He-'He must be busy
now" What makes you think 500"
"Oh, there are SO many of those Noln'S
.\rks sold around the holidays. " onk
rrs Statesman.
4 colonel. on his tour Of inspection,
unexpectedly entered the tlrilroom, when
he came across a couple of soldiers, one
of them reading a letter aloud, while the
other was listening. and, at the same
time stopping up the ears Of the reader
What arc you doing here:" the puz-
Zled officer inuuired Of the former.