Sunday Washington globe., 1902-03-23

General Funston is the latest recruit TO
join the great American vaudeville. Like
Hobson, he will tell aud retell the story OF
his wonderful exploits until the small boy
will lay aside Old Sleuth and Frank Meri-
vale and hunger for a chance to stoWawsy
and reach the Philippines.
The evening Star having furnished Que
great warrior to a waiting world from its
Teportolial staff burns to herald Funston as
the real Alexander blown in the bottle
kind Of hero.
AS a connoisseur of great men and heroes
our evening luminary cannot inspire much
consideration. The Star will babbIe the
praises Of Hay or Day or anyone tempOra-
rily in power to suit its obvious purpose
Advertising men, as a rule. have little sen
timent. and the Star as a giant advertising
scheme, lacks real humOr. pathos and feeling
Funston says those wh0 lift no their voice
for the Filipino are traitors Pitt did more
than lift ny his voice for US. He hurled his
thunder at the throne of George III, and
that imbecilic creature rewarded his nerve
and intellect and his sense Of right by making
him an earl. Yet Funston says we who
cry fair play for the Filipino are traitors
and Funston is an honorable man
Where would Funston have been, would
Like to ask our brilliant contem porary. if
there had been no "iusurrectiou" in the
Philippines
He would have lodged Kansas cyclones
and suffered from alkali water to the end Of
time and would not have emerged from
Obscurity
Certain pious newspapers like certain
bull necked grafters in politics, are coutin-
ually pratiug of the hand Of providence
These praters use words like children do
blocks. IN a mechanical and purposeless
way.
War is only game of blocks with human
lives as stepping stones to promotion and
adulatiou
Little men with pistols in their hands are
called brave yet take away the pistol and
confront them with Terry McGoveru, what
becomes of their physical courage or their
ability to defend themselves
The little mental dwarf who sits in his
den aud writes anonymous editorials would
cut sorry figure in the company of men of
intellect WHO scorned to allow business to
affect their idea of right aud wrong.
The pen i. mightier than the sword they
say, but the pen in the hands Of dull or mis-
guided people often inHames the ignorant
masses and makes the sword necessary.
The same ignorant people who sueer at
the weak and struggling when it suits their
business interests, paradoxically send their
children to Sunday school and prate to them
of right, justice and liberty.
The real trouble with Funston is this He
like other great warriors went to the Philip
pines TO conquer them in day He found
it would take years and the job became
nauseOus. When a soldier fails to win by
one great dash he is quite likely to be for
ever afterwards useless.
War is a tragic kind of humor game
of chess would call forth more skill, more
brains and achieve the same result for war
is a matter of numbers. The side which
loses most men Is defeated-but not con.
vinced of the right Of the conqueror
The sides are often unequal. In chess
each has the same chance.
flip of the coin, on game Of chess to
be played for the stake at issue would be
more sensible, but mans vanity would not
be so thoroughly satisfied as it is now by
the child's play digui6ed by the name Of
combat.