Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-04-10

SHAKE HANDS WITH ME-.
his store and come face to face with
him was an unpleasant situation. The
major was equal to it, however. He
tjust gasped once and then extended
his hand and genially exclaimed
"But l am glad to see you-glad in
deed Beautiful weather, isn't it-most
beautiful. BY George, but you are look
ing wellv'
81 am well, SIR" stiff1y responded
the halter.
"WelI and full of business, and I
congratulate you. | must complain
little of your bookkeeper, however. l
like to pay my bills once a month, and
I've often wondered that he didn't
send me in statement of account.
Don't | owe you for a hat or some
thing?"
''You do, sir. You have owed me
$3.50 for year or more, and you have
been billed right along every month.
In addition to that I've sent a boy to
your office five or six times"
Dear me, but what misunder-
standingw sighed the grand promoter
as something like sincere anxiety shOne
in his eyes. "How could the carrier
have disposed of those letters and at
what office could your boy have called?
Well, well, but it's lucky I came in. |
must speak to my secretary about this
matter. I'm not paying him 500
week to throw bills rendered into the
wastebasket. You must have thought
j didn't want to pay!'
Eyes, | thought you a deadbeat,"
was the honest reply.
Dear me, but see how you have
wronged me! Yes, it must have looked
that way to you even when | was
drawing checks for others of from So
600 to $4,000 each. l suppose you
have heard of some of my stupendous
enterprises?'
mo; / haven't
"But you should read the papers,
man. Six of the biggest syndicates and
trusts on earth and more coming. Com
bined capital of the six amounts to
over $200O,OOO,OOO Why, I've upset
Wall street three or four times over"
II hadn't heard of it, replied the hat
ter, becoming somewhat interested, but
determined to have that $3.50 before
the major left the store.
II see you haven't, or you wouldn't
think l was lodging a debt Of $3.50.
Can you cash a certified check for SOL
2S0.73?"
"Of course not; but you must have
few dollars in cash about you"
mot dollar, as it happens; but you
can run over to the bank with me after
we have finished our talk. I am glad
1 found you alone. Can you guess why
/ came in here?''
II guess it was by accident" smiled
the halter.
my dear boy, but you will have your
joke replied the major as he slapped
him on the back. 1--WE had you in
mind for the last two weeks, but didn't
want to say anything until | could tell
you definitely about the whole bust
ness Excuse me, but that hat looks
as if it would fit me. All. but it is fit
"a perfect fit! AS | was saying. /
wanted to be able to tell you all about
it."
"Well, what is it?'
care you satisfied with this little
store and your little business?'
II have to be-"
But if you had a store covering a
whole block-if you controlled the hat
trade Of America, of Europe-if your
name was household word from New
Jersey to Hindustan?"
No cio 10
as he almost forgot the $3.50.
''Ha, my dear boy! Shake hands with
me; receive my congratulations! To-
day l just finished the articles of in
corporation of the Electric Headgear
company and l am here to make you
an offer"
What have you got up"
1.-THE greatest thing on earth, and the
idea is all my own. My dear boy, do
you know what the effect of electricity
is on, the human body?'
Its good, | believe"
Its better than all the drugs in the
world. The idea is to have slow cur
rent of it passing through the body all
day long. We can't carry battery
around under our arm, but we can
make hats and caps and charge 'em
with electricity. We can have posi-
tive pole in the hat Of cap and mega
tive in the coattail pocket, the boot. on
the wrist. We can have soft, seduc-
tive current stealing up and down and
back again, dissolving our lumbago,
rheumatism, neuralgia and other Attic