Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-12-04

The cook has company, and l do NOT
wish to disturb them. 4,
81 can safely say that no man eyer
attempted to bribe me, gentlemen
Don't be down-hearted, old chan.
your luck may change"
Citiman-I see you raise your own
vegetables. Suburbanite-No, I sim.
ply plant a small garden so as to keen
the chickens at home.-Life.
The Lawyer-I really hope I don't
annoy you with all these questions
His Fair Cllent-Not at ALL I'm used s
to It have 6-year-old son.
He-I fancy men believe in friend.
ship rather more than women do. She
Possibly, but the great trouble is it's
generally their own friendship they be-
lieve in.
Wiseum-Honestly. now, did You
learn anything while you were in col.
lege? Graduate-Um-m-we learn
ed how to state my ignorance in scien.
tific terms.
'Is your family fond of cereals. Mr..
Jumpup" "Oh, very! we're reading
several in the Parlor Portfolio now,
and can't hardly wait from week to
week."-Phlladelphia Bulletin.
Cassidy-Shtop kickin' about yer
hard luck, man! Some mornin' yen
wake up an find yersel famous.
Casey-Faith, on bet We whin that
mornin' comes twill be me luck to
overslape meseP.
Mrs. Hiram Offen-I hope you wash.
ed the fish thoroughly before you put
in on the broiler. Della. Delia-Shure,
what would be the use of thot, ma'am?
Hasn't 1t been livin' in the water all its
loife ife?-Philadelphia Press.
"Oh, well, my dear" observed he to
his wife, you will find that there are
great many worse men in the world
than l am" "How can you be so
cynical, John?" replied his wife re-
achfully.-Syracuse Herald.
Silas-So Zeke won't have anything
but tirst-class literature? Cyrus-No.
Why. he wouldn't even subscribe to a
magazine because he saw Entered as
second-class matter" on the front
page"
Superintendent is our usual Gus
tom to let prisoner work at the same
trade in here as he did outside. Now,
what Is your trade? Shoemaker,
blacksmith or - please, sir was
travelling salesman"
Constance am going out in Algy's
launch. Penelope-But naphtha launch
es are very dangerous. Constance-1
know It, But Algy gave me the choice
of either going out with him on his
naphtha launch or his sailboat.
81 see a crank out West announces
his invention of 'theater hat for la
dies that will shut up when the cur
tain rises" IF he'd only invent a
box party that would do that he'd de-
serve a medal. l."-Phlladelphia Press.
Here's a letter from Mirandy at col
lege. She says she's in love with Ping
Pong" "She is, hey? Well. shed bet
ter give him up. We amt goin' ter
stand fer no Chinaman marrying inter
this family y."-Woman's Home Com
panion.
Mr.. Skinner-You'll have to walt
while for your wages this week.
can't pay you to-day. Clerk-See here,
now, that won't do, sir. I've got TO
live, you know. Mr.. Skinner-Non'
sense! What put that idea into your
head.-Chicago Tribune.
Lady Ito furniture clerk)-1 like the
Louis XIV. and the Louis XVI. designs
equally well. 1t wouldn't do, l sup
pose, to have both chairs in the par
lor? Clerk-Oh. yes, madam; they
would harmonize well-only two years
difference, you see.-Judge.
Teacher Ito class In geography
And who knows what the people VINO
| live in Turkey are called? Class (unan'
imously)-Turks! Teacher-Right. Now
who can tell me what those living I'D
Austria are called. Little Boy-Please'
mum, know. Observation-Disclosures.
Hasty Harry-W'at youse fshln
here widout any bait for? Don't youse
know dat fish won't eat bare book.
Strenuous Stove (scornfully)-W at'
Don't youse see dat If de fish uon
bite amt got to go to de trouble o
takin' 'em off'n d. hook. Where's yez
/ perfeshional instinct?
"Oh, maw," said the 1O-year-oid
hopeful, do you see how wet my
clothes are?" "Yes, young man.
spoke mamma, sternly, "and you have
been in swimming" mo, nav.
Then how did you get wet?" "Why'
some boys wanted me to go in swim'
ming, and ran away so fast per
spired"
Young man." said the Irish masis'
trate, as youthful prisoner was
brought before him. 81 would au'ise
you to make full confession II you
want to get off with light sentence.
And If l don't confess, then what
asked the young man. "Oh, IN tli'
event." replied the magistrate, Il snail