The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-16
SPOKEN IN JEST.

Did you ever hear a goat swear %
asked General Parker of New Jersey
quotes the Washington Post. He rep
resents, by the way. the district in
which the rifle range at Sea Girt is sit
uated
over at the rife range one day"
said General Parker. there was a team
from Georgia. which had with them a
coiored boy and a, goat as mascots.
The boy was dressed in brilliant uni
form, and the goat had a fuzzy tail.
Along came a rifieman who belonged
to a rival team.
IN give you a nickel for one of
your buttons he said to the boy, and
the trade was made Then the rifieman,
plucking some hairs from the goats
tail, rubbed them on the button. Now
he said, L have hoodooed your team
You will never win the Hilton trophy
THE colored boy burst into tears,
and the goat said 'D-a-a-am-n' Just as
plainly as anything you ever heard in
your life"
An effort of one of John B. Cough s
tours Of the west was to arouse his
converts to a political movement in
favor of prohibition. and in several
states the politicians began 10 give con-
sideration to the cry. The distiliers
and liquor dealers are said to have been
so frightened that they employed men
to follow the lecturer, sit among the
audience and endeavor to confound him
with questions He had worked a To-
peka, Kan, audience up to a fine pitch
of excitement, and, in his effective
manner, cried:
Temperance. temperance, Tenn
peranee!i! 1t viii mean money in your
pocket, clothes on your back. happiness
in yeUr home, and God in your heart!7
Up leaped one of the paid interrupt
ers and shouted to the audience:
Money in our pockets! Why, fellow
citizens, follow this mans ideas and
Wen be all IN the poor house! Think
of the fields of tasseIed corn that
from corn. We sell millions of dollars
worth of corn to the whisky-makers
Stop the manufacture of WHISKY, and
what'H we do?''
Then, turning to Cough, he went on.
You, Mr. SmaFty-What1I we do
Tell us. if prohibition comes, what'H we
do with our corn?''
Raise more hogs. my friend. . replied
Cough, without a seconds hesita ton
raise more hogsl"
Assistant Attorney General James NJ.
Beck, at the ceremonies on the Wissa-
hlckon drive the other day, when he
presented to the city Of PHILADELPHIA
the statue of the Delaware chief. Tedv-
scung, told the story of a presentation
orator who forgot his lines, says the
New York Times
he was to present a sword to a re-
turned war hero" said Mr.. Beck. and
wishing to do the thing just as it should
be done, and TO please every one con
cerned, wrote out his address and pre-
! scented it for the approval Of the warrior
who was 10 be honored That gentle
man, in turn. taking his cue from what
was TO be said to him. prepared a very
nice little speech of thanks
The evening of the ceremony ar
rived, and the two principals appeared
on the stage before a crowded house
Then the presenter's nerve failed him
He could not think of a word he had
written and learned With such care
He stammered and suffered. and
turned pale and then red, and at last
blurted out;
captain, there's the sword
The recipient had been fearfulIy m
set by ali this, and he, too. went ia
pieces He could say absolutely moth
Ing ar first, but, after few gulps and
gasps, managed to exclaim:
Is that it2'"