Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-05-12
DISAPPOINTMENT.
The Brass Buttoned Hero
Could Not be Found.
She Had Great Ambitions to Belong
to the G. D. of R.
But Ancestor Was Interested in Wrong
Kind Of Revolution.

shoots that pointed toward the nobil-
ity In digging over the Wormy rec
ords of the past she accidentally dis
covered that her Sreat-Srandfather was
a high private in the rear rank behind
in the Revolutionary army and at
divers times had helped the sutler in
deeds of valor and at last while assist
ing that official i'll opening a keg of beer
carelessly stood III the draft and
caught the end-few-end-ways and was
gathered to his father in a halo Of
glory with slow music by the band.
When she discovered the war record
Of her relative she was fairly far
sighted 50 concluded that this was an
opportunity Of a lifetime not to be
Inislaid or lost and as she could not
baruacle on the nobility as a duchess
or court lady and rot wishing TO be
| looked upon as a person of no ability
she did the next best thing. She sailed
in and started an independent branch
| limiteD of the Grand Daughters of
The Revolution.
lii two days time she had the Who'll
town by the ears and all the grille
Siclies in her set were searching the
musty records and looking up their
bounty jumping relatives III the hopes
! of finding among those old moth eaten
records some swash-buckler who had
split his gore for his country in the
good old Revolutionary days.
| In & surprisingly short time she had
quite a following who used to meet
aroJnd at the different houses and pro-
coed to pick the basting threads out Of
many good mans character. They
had bylaws and as soon as the or
ganization was strong enough il had a
constitution. Old nint-lock muSkets
and broad swords were at premium
and the new order hourished like q
green bay tree.
About this time Il new family moved
into town consisting of papa, portly
old soul who posed as Il man of means,
sort of a beef trust magnate or d lard
baron, one of the kind that makes the
earth Vibratc when he walks, and his
fellow creatures looked to him like
ants out for a ganbol. and his wife
and daughter. The wife was one Of
those doublc-chnTed heavy weight
fairies who could never think of din
ing at twelve, noon. because the rude
working people dined at that hour. The
daughter was the likeliest herb in the
bunch. fairly well accomplished III
music and singing and could talk sew
eral languages especially to the cook
when things got little slack in that
department.
The members of the family had their
feet hardly placed in the village before
they commenced to browse around to
find out who was who, financially, ana
just what people it would do to as
sociIte with without impairinG their
standing. They felt their way care
fully until they bumped up against the
new order the local branch of the
Grand Daughters of the Revolution
| Then they fell in all over. Papa and
the madam discovered after due in
vCStigation that this new order was the
proper thing to belong to and thought
their daughter must be duely initiated
as Il member
At first the daughter objected as her
memory was a little hay on the gallant
services her grandpa rendered but
papa waived all objections aside and
assured her that the family tree was a
chestnut and that although every fam
lily tree was a little shady this par
ticular one spread over a great deal of
territory and that as for pedigree the
family could boast of one longer than
delinquent tax list.
| So in due course of time the applica-
ton was filed with the secretary. A
| committee of three was appointed to
investigate and inquire into the
eligibility Of this young lady as q mem
Der. The committee had some diff
Guilty in locating that family tree but
after considerable diplomacy they
finally located the ancient old chestnut
in a small town in the wild and woody
West. But they utterly failed to find
any trace OF that brass buttoned old
hero who was supposed to have hewed
his way through whole windows of
enemies to glory and renown. The
committee sent several letters to prom
inent people i'll the western town for
information but search as hard as they
might the record Of that old hero
failed to materialize.
The initiation ceremony was post
poned twice to give the committee time
to report. Papa and the dowager
were getting a little impatient for their
daughters coronation when the com
|
run upon an old centenarian in the
West and after several letters had
passed between them he was willing to
stand sponsor for the girl and see that
she was duly initiated into the branch
of the Grand Daughters of the Revolt
ton. He said he knew the family root
and branch long before they STRUCK
ile;" when papa kept constantly
fatigued trying to get living without
work and mama used to practice every
Monday on the harmonious key of the
dashboard, while the daughter used to
alter over all the old dresses which the
neighbors couldn't possibly SCH the rag
man for herself. That was long before
Agernon Alnhonsa Riff got to parting
his name in the middle and signing all
checks. "A. Alphonse Bif, Esq, U. s.
A."
But things are changed now and if
there is one person in this world that is
eligible to membership as G. d. of f.
it was the girl for she was a Grand
| daughter of tie Revolution all right
| For her grandfather used to run a
merry go-roun6. and if that wasn't
revolution enough what waSo