Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1902-03-22
WHY HE HATES CATS
nY 1oHE 4. RAFrERY.

Speaking Of CATS" said Col. Bib SteF~
eft as he laid aside newspaper account OF
the pet stock show, II ana moved 70 say that
every weli-organiged dog ia the world ought
TO be glad to see cats coming forward IN the
show business. As friend OF oil dogs, ceIat
pugs I'm glad, because il the domestic cat
has any excuse for living outside Of play
acting, I've never discovered it.
The wise and witty man from Dallas
pulled out his navy twist, cut OH two
ounce chew and resumed:
For nigh SO years O my life, willing to
love all ANIMALS, including mankind and ter
rapin, never could do any better by the eat
than give her the benefit Of the doubt. The
doubt being considerable, the preponder-
anee o. evidence being, so TO speak, against
the cat, kept her on the waiting list I'LL
was past 50, and then wiped her of the
slate even as q hundred to one shot, made
new book with Fido as top choice, and
now-never mind how old amin willing
70 back the dog, from Hewellyn settlers
down to pugs, against all cat corners.
"Bill Sewers 'sot me finally against cats.
Bin married an old maid over at Austin, and
we all allowed it'd turn out fine for her be-
cause Sewers was a man o fine sentiments,
tender as woman and powerful partial 70
pets Twas about four years after Bill
wedding | met him up at Galveston. lie
was walking along with fine-loolxing boy
about Il years old, so says i: Hello, Bill,
that your boy? Yes, says he. Mighty
big and sassy for four year-old, says i.
Yep, says Bill. 'How's your wife, BinY
Got none says he, grinning glad-like; i
shunted her an she shunted me- So in
vited him and the kid to go trolling on the
1 l. ~ Al al ilfx.f ~,
the bow, where he couldn't hear and Bill
and me in the stern-sheets trolling, the old
chap ups and yarns me the story.
Know how | love dawgs" says he;
well, thar was the fust trouble. Arabella,
she was stuck on cats. Day after the we'd
dim she landed up on the place with seven
O. the orneriest lookin' grimalkins at ever
sponged often white man Well, Tillman
you know Tillman-the big one-eyed set
| ter, he killed five on 'em fust thing.
When Bella seen me latin she begin cryin'
an vowed all my dawgs--I had only 'leven
| then-'ud have to 60. Course ! ups an roars,
but fnly we comp'mised by me agreein' to
| send the dawgs over to Junk Days an her
| submittin' to reduce tn cats stable to jest
| one favorite.
| "'Well, sir Bill, that thar beast turned
out to be che peskiest meanest, most owda-
cious thing / ever seen, forever gittin I'M
| der my feet, settin' on Bella's lap, cornerin
| tn best they wuz an maxim Bella talk baby
| talk, till one day got sure 'nough riled an
| kicked the blame tabby outen the wlnder
| Course that fetched on hullabaloo an
| from that day on they want no peace in Bill
| Sewers house. Bella was for bringin me
| into subsection T. tn goll-darned cat an /
| was fur bringin' her an tn cat into sublec-
| ton t Bill Sewers. 1t was what mought be
| called armed truce, but wuz gettin rllier
| an rilier all the time becuz Bella was ever
| lastin'ly alavishin' herself on the cat an
| spitin' me every way her an the burned cat
could rig up.
"eCourse / wuz gettin' lonesomer an lone
| somer, not havin' no dawgs nor no kids, 50
when Junk Days wife died | sot my no
tons on adoptin' one o her kids. That's
| him out thar in the bow right now. He
wuz comm twelve an right peart un when
| landed him up in tn house an told Bella
| I'd adopted him. At fust she TUX tom near
| as tender Ike as ef he wuz a young tom cat,
but fust think / knowed Zeke, that's his
| given name, he begun tyin' strings to Bella's
cats tail an putin paper boots on the
burned feline. So Bella begun awollopin'
Zeke an with me takin' up fur him, an him
| fightin' back at tn cat an the said cat get
tin back at Zeke, they wuz 10 to pay
| for shore Zeke slep' with me and tn cat
slep' with Bella, an fur a spell we KEEP apart
an had no truck in common. Bella KEEP
| alookin' solemner an solemner, a-glarin' at
! Zeke an a-scowlin at me till fin1y she ups
and tells me that Zeke's bin Robin her
| She got offul serious an says she'd been miss
| in rings and small iew'lry for long spell
| - al l1x fo,,nd oil that dav
| slowed away in Zeke's little tool chest I'd
bought fur his birthday. ask Zeke an he
ups and swears he never took nothin', but
Bella want satisfied till she makes him adj
NIT that he knowed the things wuz in his
chest all tn time. Course had t. lick him
| then, but he never quit swearin' that he
| didn't know how tn stuff got into his
| chest.
''Twant two days after that thar fust
set-to when Bella comes t. me an says Zeke
has gone an stole a dollar bill outen her
drawer. She fetched me in my room an
pinted out the greenbaek, all rumply and
poked down in the tool box. So licked
Zeke agin' an Bella she licked him agin',
an the pore kid was Almost broke down,
but still stickin' to it that he never stole
nothin' Lickn Zeke was bad enough on
my sperits, but what made me hotter all
wuz tn way Bella's DANCED old cat enj'yed
the leatherin' Zeke was gettin'. That night
while her an tn cat was at tea put an
other dollar bill on the dresser, tux a augur
an bored hole in Bells door an another
in my door. Inen made her fetch up her
everlastin' cat an put it into the bedroom.
When I'd locked both doors after a-lightin'
a lamp in her room an another in me an
Zeke's, fetched Bella out, leavin' the darg
cat inside, an told her to set down on the
floor an watch at the augur hole what the
cat mought do. went to tn door an lowed
that I'd speak out what / seen tie cat
a-doin'.
Has she begun p'formin'?" I asst
Bella. yep" says Bella, peekin through
at Tabby, she's a-playin' on the dresser
she's a-fddlin' with ribbon r suthin'--
here she comes with Ats greenback,
Bill says Bella, can she's a-gon' fur your
roomi"
"'"An' here she comes,' says /, peekin'
in my hole, IAN your gol-dnged old cat is
a-puttin' the money in Zeke's tool chestly
:" An so twas That cat wrz the otrilti.