davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
HUMOROUS.

The Play.-Hook-"Wh the mat
ter with Scribbler's new play? Doesn' t
! it draw?" Nye-"No; it drags."- Phil
adelphia Record.
your guest didn't make long Wis
it," mo; she asked us to treat her
like one of the family, but when did
she left."-London Tit-Bits.
Numismatic Note.-Upson pownes
Showing friend through Wall street,
See that elderly gentleman over
there? He's one of the greatest coin
collectors in the country" "That so?
Who is hep" Russell sage."-N. Y.
Times.
The Lesser Evil.-Ascum CATER the
performance = 81 shouldn't think
you'd care to take part in amateur
theatricals." Sinnickson Zone of the
cast)-"I don't; but if I didn't, I'd
probably have to sit in the audience -
Philadelphia Press.
A Poser for a.-Four-year-old
Tommy was rolling his hoop on Sun
day. "You mustn't roll your hoop in
the front yard on Sunday" said his
mother. "You must go into the back
garden" "Isn't it Sunday in the back
garden, mammal" asked Tommy
Little Chronicle.
A Railroad Trick.-"But," we pro-
tested to the general manager of the
One Horse railroad, you advertise
fast and slow freights, yet you tell us
you only run one freight train day.
How is that?" WELL" he answered,
I'VE put the fast freight in the front
cars, and it reaches the town ahead
OF the slow freight" -Baltimore Amer
lean.
A Scene in the: Near Future.-Stage
Manager Ito assistant) "They are
calling for the author. Is the curtain
down?" Assistant-"Yes, sir" Stage
Manager-"And the emergency exits
open?' Assistant-"Yes, sir" Stage
Manager-"Is the author in his coat
of mail?" Assistant-"Yes, sir. Two
supers are holding him" Stage Man
ager-"I think we might venture to
put him in front. INSURED his life last
week."-Punch.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

ing cavernous freplaces attesting the
vigor of monkish appetites in the old
days.
Curious are the storerooms and eel,
lars of Clos-Vougeot. In the corners,
of the ''ripening-room" are enor-
nous old presses whose grooming
windlasses with difficulty move their
huge beams, even when eight men
put their muscles to the task. There
are "a ripening watts, which hold $50
barrels of wine that is almost worth
it's weight in gold.
The last father cellarer of Clos
Ncugeot was Dom Goblet, whose
name makes in English an excellent
pun. OF him many stories are told.
When Napoleon went to Italy in
triumph the second time he sent to
Dom Goblet a demand for some of
the best wine he had in stock.
IF he wants to drink Vougeot 40
years old" sturdily replied the
monk, "let him come and drink with
me; l don't sell it,"
He made the same reply to a GER
tain minister of war who offered 40
louis in gold for basket of the
fragrant wine-a big price in those
days.
These days are different. The
monks have been thrust out, as thew
have been from so many an ancient
and famous vineyard, and the wine
is managed by. those who appreciate
to the full it's commercial value. The
great old chateau is preserved for it's
quaint effect, and perhaps the pom
derous and wasteful presses would
long ago have given way to more
easily managed machinery but for
the same French appreciation of the
picturesque which made so beautiful
pageant of tile wedding of the
daughter of the chief lessee of the IA
nous vineyard
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
A ONE-CAR RAILWAY.
A Line Not Many Miles from Wash
inEton That Is Run on Prim-
tive Methods,

every few residents of Washing
ton realize that within few miles
of the capital of the United States
is an electric railway conducted in
such manner as to be regarded as
positively ludicrous by those accus-
toned to up-to-date transportation
methods" remarked well-known
Washingtonian to Star reporter.
II had occasion to visit some friends
who own a suburban home to the
north of the city few evenings
ago. Having received explicit in
structions as to how to reach their
place, I bravely started forth. Upon
reaching the terminus of one of the
big railways that extends out from
the city l alighted according to di-
rections and made my way to dim
ly-lighted car that stood on near
by track. There were quite mum
Der of other passengers and | dis
covered no cause for unusual com
ment until just prior to the SEIZED.
uled hour for starting. Carefully
closing the doors the one individ-
ual in uniform to be seen anywhere
around proceeded to collect fares.
When he had registered the same he
proceeded to the front platform and
the car began to move. Then it was
that I realized that the conductor
was also the motorman.
"As additional passengers were
gathered up along the route the
solitary employe would allow the car
to run itself while he walked back
to receive the cost of riding from
the latest to take passage. The ex-
perience was a novel one for me.
Il was told by my suburban friend
that the road operates only one car
and has but the one employee I have
referred to. The motive power is
secured from the city line over which
l rode out. After the last trip at
night, the conductor otorman
passes a chain through the wheels
and joins the ends with a paddock,
places the key in his pocket, and,
leaving the car on the track exposed
to the weather, trudges home. In
the morning he unfastens the chain
and resumes business. According to
my friend the car is always on time.
and Furthermore the stockholders
regularly receive dividend of six
per cent. But, it was told me. the
car never receives coat of paint,
and repairs to the rolling stock and
roadbed are an unknown quantity"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
THE STAIRCASE IN CLOS vouoEor.

ishcd. His plan, which he hal con-
fided to a fellow monk, was cur
tailed, made more rude, shorn of all
tie beauties in which it's founder,
Dom Loysier, had most reveled So,
grim and plaia, but strong, it rises,
quaint rather than beautiful. except
in the great Lall and in the finely
wrought chapel.
Dom Loysier's sin has helped pre-
serve the place. It's massive fortress
like walls have stood the test Of
time; the beauty of severe proper
ton in its interior has suffered no
damage. The "salle d'honneur," with
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

of the great towers, adorned with a
sway of the cross" in precious en-
eralds and wooden statuette of
Mary Magdalen, which the legend has
it was dug up miraculously among
the Clos vines. Here, too, smiles
down the centuries a Madonna by
Tiepolo.
Beyond is the curious stairway
which ascends to the second story
and the numerous bedrooms Below
again are vast kitchens with yawu-.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

it's 1000 square feet of area and 20
feet of height, lighted by tall Win
dows and ornamented by a carved
chimney piece that is marvel of
beauty, opens upon dining-room
that was once, they say, the abbe's
chamber. Here stands Renaissance
dresser with futed columns, with
graceful statuettes, with hideously
ugly gorgons-all splendid specimens
of medieval Italian art. Beyond a
second dining-room are the parlors;
then a dear little gem of chapel
that just fills the square base of one
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
Has Unique Set of Teeth

A homemade set of false teeth is
worn by Poly O'Neal, farmer, of
Hart county, Ky. He made the set
himself, out of single piece of sea-
soned apple-tree root, with no other
tool than pocketknife. Flate and
teeth are neatly formed, the fit is
perfect, and he has no trouble in mas
ticating his food.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

.fXA Kings" the far-famed
Nd y Clos-Vougeot, quaffed but
NVNE by those upon whom for
s@HS5 tune has smiled. redolent
of the fairest odors and
charged with the subtlest savors of
the land of wines. has just been
brought again into that loving con-
temptation which Frenchmen can al
ways command for a great vintage
by the wedding of Mile. Bouquet and
M. Henri Gauthey, of AloxeCort III.
1t was a magnificent spectacle. The
younger Coquuclin and NJ. Mauguiere,
and Mines. dc Langeron, Fonlupt and
Thompson-the latter an American
girl-came to the chateau and acted
and sang for the occasion, and the
600 invited guests were environed in
fairy land of beautiful floral dec
Grafton that would have been re-
1narkable in Paris itself.
The father of the blushing bride
does not impoverish himself by this
display of feudal magnifcence. Since
1887, VIXEN the vintage of Clos
Nogueot was divcded into IA parts,
M. Bocquet, who manages about one
third of the whole, has been the prin-
cipal owner of the famous "cru;"
and of course an aristocrat among
the famed vine raisers of the world.
If noblesse be measured by years,
Clos-Vogueot may be proud of it's
own. for its history is lost in the
mists Of the middle ages,
1t was toward the end of the
eleventh century that Robert de
Champagne, quitting the Abbey of
Molesmes with few monks, made
pilgrimage toward the south. Lost
one day in the somber depths of Il
traclSless forest, they heard a heav-
emily voice bidding them "build here"
With the instinct of the hiving
swarm they ceased their pilgrimage
and began to prepare their home.
The new abbey which they reared
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
The Man Of
!. the Pen
. BY REV. WILLIAM RAIDER,
Pastor Third Congregational Church.
Pastor Third Congregational Church.
San Francisco.

o
Around him surge the tides of influence
Journalism has the advantage all other professions
OF peculiar influence. Wendell Phillips made which
indicate this He said that the New York penny newspapers
governed the administration Washington Addressing roaring
mob occasion he paused long enough the
You howl WILL but through these pencils
forty millions of people, the following morning read
his words.
100000 soldiers.
NEWSPAPERS MAKE AND UNMAKE MEN. They made
Henry Ward Beec and Dr. Tmage and Chauncy Depew
the American senate.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
UnIuue Masonic Event

Three remarkable limitations in the
masonic order recently took place on
the same night, in Black River, N. Y.
The candidates were Daniel H. Scott,
aged II; his son, aged SO, and his
grandson, aged %. 1t is believed the
event is unprecedented.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

handed into the unsubdued portions southern republics
out capital behind him his
failure and defeat.
The who will fortunes in developing the potential
industries OF the continent southwark will be CAPTAINS
INDUSTRY and they will have their shoulder straps before they
enter the field More than this they will be
and tedious campaign The young going
leo, or Central South America 6oday private with only
weeks atons in his havesack would better
accomplish more here than there with such meager equipment
Why? BECAUSE MEN AND THINGS MOVE SLOWER
IN THE SOUTHERN REPUBLICS THAN IN THE UNITED
STATES Temperament tradition and conspie
this result The social and business
than here The gulf between the executive and
forms the actual work. whether aborer
is difficult than this Consequently the
young man who delays his entry this field
he can go in and executive capacity.
AS to the opportunities awaiting those young able
to go with the be said that
varied beyond the knowledge of all the industrial experts
have to out the land Besides the TIMBER cattle mining
coffee and fruit industries there other
sources which waiting for the genius Of the Yankee
yeloped into industries The of these prod
ucts impossible article of this kind purpose will
served the who looking for industrial worlds
quer will apply himself to the study Of conditions
sister republic of this hemisphere and the warning
that he should into the field equipped for long cam
pagn, involving tedious delays
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13
Civilization +:
and Education ;
. BY HON. WILLIAM T. HARRIS.
United States Commissioner of Education.

WHAT WE ARE DOING-namey conquer by science
and
If in contact with other than through
clements through Adventures
into effect the first method named If those
through the of likely
to adopt the second method for be said
our to provide schools for the dependent
to in newly acquired territory In those we
deavor to teach the children letters and which make
INSTRUMENTATION possible and which open all possess them
an acquaintance with the literature Of Engsspeang
literature which has revealed through writer's
the lofty aspirations and the hunger for individual freedom
throughout its history has mpar our
fre also our views OF the world revealed in the religion
vnehuman Cod heavenly Father all races of men
brethren For the highest found
in the words OF the evangel GLORY God highest and on
the earth peace and good will to man."
II beeld clothed with nen had an ink horn bv his
who ix
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

TIC HldH VIII the INK horn IS
influential. He occupies a posi-
ton of more influence than the
teacher, the doctor, the actor, the
lawyer and even the minister.
When he takes his place in the
editorial chair HE is ABLE TO
PLACE HIS FINGER ON THE
PULSE OF THE WORLD. He
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

our advantage and against their
own interest; in short, to extermi-
nate them or convert them into
bond slaves. The other method is
to take them and put them in such
training that THEY CAN PAR
TICIPATE IN OUR CIVIL
ZATTON AMI EhDhI ma M
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

! BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
+ IN OUR Spanish REPUBLICS
+ By VOLNEY w. FOSTER,
United Delegate
By VoLNEY w. FOSTER,

AS one who has CHANGED to gain some
little familiarity with the general current of
affairs in the republics of Central and South
America, I am constantly asked: Are there
not great opportunities for northern capital,
energy and business brains to the south
ward?
My answer is: Yes. The forests, the
plains and the mountains of the southern
republic hold almost unbounded rewards for
the genius OF men from the United States.
But the conditions which prevailed when the
country west of the Mississippi was an I'm
developed wilderness have passed away, and
the Young man who attempts to go SINGLE
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

The Men Are just Like Them.
Every woman would live long, but
no woman would grow old.-Chicago
Daily News.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

There two methods of teaching our own
One method advantage them sehsy for
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

HE "Wine of Popes and
Kings" the far-famed
Clos-Vougeot, quatfed but
by those upon whom for
tune has smiled. redolent
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-05-13

II behed clothed with linen an ink horn bv his
SIDE who reported er'-Ezekiel
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
MRS. NJ. J. nANLEY.

hhC- vi. y. l'ANLE l..
Mrs. M. ]. Danley, Treasurer of the
Rebecca Lodge, L. o. o. F., writes from
IA First st. N, Minneapolis, MINI.
Il was afflicted for several wears with
kidney trouble which becamequite seri-
ous and caused me consider able anxiety.
iSpent hundreds OF dollars trying to be
cured, but nothing gave me any per-
manent relief until tried Peruna. 1t
took less than three months and Only
ten bottles to effect a permanent cure,
but they were worth more than as many
hundred dollars to nie. lam fully re-
stored to health, know neither ache nor
pain and enjoy life. Mrs. M. j.
DanJey.
This experience has been repeated
many times. We hear of such cases
nearly every day..
Mrs. Danley had 'catarrh of the kid
neys. AS soonas shetook the right rem
edy she made quick recovery.
A Prominent Southern Lady's Letter.
Miss Laura Hopkins, of Washington
ID. c., niece Of Hon. E. 0. Hopkins.
one of the largest iron manufacturers OF
Birmingham, Ala, writes the following
letter commenting Peruna. She says:
81 can cheerfuIIy recommend Peru
ma for indigestion and stomach trouble
and as good tonic. Laura Hopkins.
Reruna cures catarrh wherever located
Peruna is specific for the catarrhal
arrangements of women. Address The
Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus Ohio
for free book On catarrh Written by Dr.
S. B. Hartman.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
Automobile for Doctor.

The largest automobile in the world
is being constr ucted for Parsian doc
tor. In it, accompanied by two medical
students, he inten ls to make trip
around the world. 1t will have two
sleeping apartments, large work
room, and four big tanks for storing oil.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
CA7ARRH

The treatment of Catarrh with antisePtic anu
astrnpent washes lotions salves, indicated TOBACCO
and cigarettes or any external local application rs
just as senseless as would be kndling ire on TOP OF
the pot to make it boil True, these give 'elPo a,s
relief but the cavities and passages of the head and the
bronchial tubes soon fill up again with mucus :.
Taking cold is the first step towards oa'alin 10,
checks Precipitation, and the poisonous actos anu
vapors which should pass off through the SKIN, are
thrown back upon the mucous membrane OF
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
Losing Opportunities.

The automobile had broken down and
the chauffeur was busy trying to dis
cover the trouble. The inpatient
owner of the machine at last broke
out:
Hurry up, Felix! There are a lot
of people crossing the street that we
are missing!'
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
More Fortunate Than Some.

Wigg-No; l can't say that Talk
.alot lie friend of mine. l merely have
a speaking acquaintance with him.
Wagg-Most people have only list
ening acquaintance. - Philadelphia
Record.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
She Capitulated.

Maud-Do you mean to tell me that
you and George are engaged last?
Mabel-Yes; he had quit spending
money on me, and 1 thought l might
as we'll let him propose.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
Settled.

Jenks-haven't you and that neigh
boring farmer settled your differences
yet?
Farmer Akers-No: but our lawyers
have settled.
Jenks- Settled? HOwp
Farmer Akers-On our FARMS
Catholic Standard.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
Often the Case.

''They say his wife drove him to
drink"
"Perhaps she did, but from what !
know of him l think he would have
been awfullv disappointed if she
hadn I. "--Chicago Post.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
different.

Cholly-May Cable tells me you
said Gussie Gayboy and would never
find any girls to marry us because we
are too fastidious.
Miss Pepperey - There was eight
Misunderstanding there. l said you
were 1.-TWO fast idiots. "-Philadel phia
Press.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
Knew Nothing of Horses.

Lord Kitchener says that most of the
trouble with remounts in South Africa
was due to the fact that the soldiers at
tending them knew nothing of the care
of horses.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

Don't Get Footsore! Get oot-Ease.
tits a certain cure for sweating, callous and
hot, tired. aching feet. Makes new or tight
shoes easy Try it today. Sold by all Druggists
Price Csc. Don't accept a substitute Sample
sent FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy
V
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

Is your home supplied with the great,
est of pain believers? Hamlin's MARI
Oil greatest remedy Tor emergencies.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

RnTN Permanently Cureo so nts or nervousness
tu0 after first days nee OF pr kline's Great Nerve
2estorsr Send for FIR 81. 90 trial bottle and treat
ise Dr. r. H. KLINE. Ltd Y3l Arch ST.. Phiianeipha "A
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

taste GOOD. Eat them like candy. They
remove any bad taste in the mouth, leav-
ing the breath sweet and perfumed. 1t IL
o pleasure TO take them, and they are
liked especially by children.
sweeten the stomach by cleansing tho
mouth, throat and food channel That
means, they stop undgested food from
souring in the stomach prevent gas form
ing in the bowels, and kill disease gems
OF any kind that breed and feed In the en-
tire system.
are purely vegetable and contain no mer-
curial or other mineral poison. They con-
sist OF the latest discoveries in medicine,
and form a combination OF remedies un-
equaled to make the blood pure and rich
and make clean skin and beautiful COM
plexion.
tone the stomach and bowels and stir up
the lazy liver. They do not merely soften
strengthen the bowels and put them into
lively. healthy condition. making their ac-
ton natural
never grip nor grippe. They act quietly. pos
ttively and never cause any kind OF uncom-
Portable feeling. Taken regularly they make
the liver act regularly and naturally as IL
should. They keep the sewerage OF the body
properly moving and keep the system clean.
increase the flow OF milk In nursing moth
ers. II the mother eats a tablet, 1t makes
her milk mildly purgative and has a mild
but certain effect on the baby. In this way
they are the only safe laxative for the
nursing infant.
taken patiently. persistently. will cure any
form OF constipation. no matter how old or
how often other remedies have failed. They
are absolutely guaranteed to cure any case.
or purchase money will be cheerfully re-
funded.
cost 10c &c. 6Oc a box. Samples cent free
for the asking. We publish no testimonials
but sell Cascarets on their merit under alb
box to-day. or write us for free samples
ISar.-. sTEnLIss REHEDr CO., CHICAGO Or xEw YsRx.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

Mothers will find Mrs. Ninsiow's Sooth-
ing Syrup the best remedy 10 use tor their
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11
Discounted.

First American Boy-My papa lives
like prince.
Second American Boy-That's moth
ing. My papa lives like the president
of trust,-Detroit Free Press.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-11

0lAn DINA bepa to o
QtVV NL FVANU o substitution,
something q called
confidential