The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Customer-This steak is the toughest
thing I've ever had here. waiter. Wait
er (contidentially)-Then you amt tried
our roast chicken, sir.-Tit-Bits.
The Old Lady Tin a railway carriage,
Il object to smoking! The Navy
Quite right, mum. It's a lad habit for
ladies o your time O. life.-Ift7Bits.
Natural Enuogh: doesn't the So
prano's voice sound metallic to your
Yes; but then. you know. there's mon.
cy in t."-Philadelphia Evening Bulle-
tin.
Mrs. Stubbs-But. John. how do you
know that Welsh rarebit is going to
disagree with you? Mr.. Stubbs (sad-
ly)-I-I have inside information.-Chi
cago News.
st. Peter-Well. sir. what have you to
say about yourself? The New-c conner
l regret to report st. Peter-W'hy.
it's Kitchener! Come right in, General
Coast Seamen's Journal.
Appropriate: shopper-But aren,
these hose rather loud? Clerk-Yes.
sir: they are intended only for persons
whose feet are in the habit of going to
sleep.-Chicago Daily News.
Visitor to the Prison-I SUPPOSE this
life OF yours in here is continual tor
ture: Convict-Oh. no. not so bad as
that. We don't have visitors every day.
you know.-Boston Transcript.
Just the Trouble: Newspaper Artist
Officer. this is outrageous! You know
Twas only sketching that parade. Pc.
liceman-Thot's what Dim arristin' yez
fer. young feller-fer drawin' a crowd.
Judge.
'1s lie really such an expert stenog-
rapher? "EXpertness is no name for
it. Why, just for practice he actually
took down church sewing circle dis
cussion without missing word."--
Chicago Post.
That Black Eye: Friend - Hullo.
Moike! Phwat's tn matther wild yer
eye? Mike--Sure. it's in mourning.
Friend-Who fer? Mike-Hooligan.
Twas he thot hit me. an his funeral
is to-morrer.-Judge.
His Style: Shopman--What style Of
hat do you wish, sir? Cholly-Ah!
am not particular about the style;
something to suit my head, don't We
know. Shopman-Step this way and
look at our soft felts.-Tit-Bits.
Little Pitman lat the pantomime)-
Aa's come all the way frae Dorm, and
cannot see happorth O. the stage Big
Woman-Hoots! We little foaks is aalis
tgrowlin'. Just keep your eye on me.
and laugh when IA Bits.
ENTHUSIASTICALLY Speaking: Little
Elmer (who has an inquiring mind
Papa, where do those pessimists that
we arc always reading about live? Pro-
fessor Broadhead-On an island of ego
tism, in the midst of sea of woe-
Smart Set.
Good News: Stage Manager-Mr.
Heavy, you will take the part of Alon-
20. Mr.. Heavy-1 have never seen this
play. Do you think can please the
audience in that part? Stage Manager
Immensely. You die in the first act.
-Tit-Bits.
A Phenomenon Of Sleep: He had
come on her doing in a hammock, and
when she woke up she accused him of
stealing kiss. "Well," he said, Il
will admit that the temptation was too
little kiss" "One!" she exclaimed, in
dignantly; Il counted eight before l
woke p."-Household Words.
EYES," said the old doctor, you
should try to have your own carriage,
by all means. Because when you want
to get to a patient quickly" "Oh,'
interrupted the young NJ. D., II don't
think any patient who sent for re
would be likely to die before reached
him." "No; but he might recover be.
fore you got there philadelphia
Press.
Rev. Goodley-Do you think you OBJ
serve the Sabbath as you should? Jig
gaby-Well, usually spend the day
quietly at home. Rev. Goodley7Ah
but do you never 60 to church? Jigga'
by-No. However, we have stained
glass windows in our library, and they
afford a sort of church effect while
read my Sunday paper.-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Strongmind-As the editor of a
great newspaper and leader Of public
opinion, I hope you take some interest
in the subject Of the emancipation OF
woman. Great Editor with enthusi
asm)-Indeed, I do, madam. I have
Just this moment finished a two-columr
article filled with anathemas against
tight lacing and heavy skirts.-NeW
York Weekly.
First American-Have a good time
abroad? Second American-Fine.
Travelled incog. Went where pleased
ond oscaned tho VULGAR curiosity of thu