davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Honesty In Perfection.

To find honesty in its full perfection
it is said that one must go to the
Welsh GOLFERS of the Ogmore valley,
who travel by workmens train which
runs from Maesteg to Abergwynfi ev-
cry morning and returns~in the even
ing. There are heavy penalties for
taking pipes and matches down tie
pit, so when the train reaches it's des-
tination in the morning every smoker
lays his pipe on the seat, and when be
returns in the evening it is exactly
where he left it. During the day the
coaches are shuntd to "a siding, the
doors are not locked, but there is no
single instance of ia pipe having been
stolen.-London Answers.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
HORSES AND HORSEMEN.

Greenline. 2:O7A. is a great green
one. O. s.
Dan Cahilrs Charlie Herr, POT. has
gone lame.
Dandy Jim, 2O9A, the famous "gray
ghost" is dead.
Country j., 2:1O1a, is at Cleveland.
He mods perceptibly, but is said to be
working fast.
Alan, 2:11A, is a great half mile
track performer. He put in three heats
at Clean, N. Y, recently in 2:1414,
2:15R and 2:14 with ease.
Nelly Gay, 2:1S%, the daughter Of
Pamlico, 2:10, who raced so well in
1900, but went lame, is out again and
winning on the Mohawk valley circuit.
in New York. "
Scott Hudson gave Audubon Boy,
2:O6, some pretty stiff work at Detroit
recently. One mile was paced in 2:061a
and another in FOG, with the last half
in LOO. final quarter in 80 seconds.
One Of the most interesting of recent
events was the sale of Eleata, 2:0S34,
to Mr.. James Hanley of Providence
r. l., the owner of Prince Alert, 2:00h
by Hon. Frank Jones. The heroine of
1901 was at once shipped to Hartford.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
WEDDING SUPERSTITlCNS.

The bride should not fail to shed d
few tears on her wedding day. 1t is
an omen of good luck in the future.
1t is unlucky for the bride to enter
the church before the ceremony at one
door and leave after the ceremony by
another door.
The bride should always cut the first
piece of her wedding cake and pour out
the first glass of wine for her guests
if there are not too many.
If the bride drops her, handkerchief
on the wedding day and the bride
groom picks it up, it is sign that in
the future he will play second fiddle.
1t is said to be unlucky to tie shoes
to any part Of the carriage in which
the bride and bridegroom go away, but
it is lucky to throw an old shoe after
the bride as she enters the carriage.
In leaving the church the bride will
do well to place her right foot fore
most if she wishes to be happy,
healthy, etc, in the future. and she
should always be the first to call her
husband by name.
: After the wedding breakfast and re-
ception the bride should be careful to
throw away and lose all the pins, il
there are any about her. The brides
maids should not keep the pins them
selves or they will retard their chances
Of marriage.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
AN EXPLOSION OF !:
GRAY MATTER
By Charles CurtZ Hahn
Copyright. 1901, by A. s. Richardson

It was two weeks after the terrific
explosion in DR.. Wainrights office,
which had injured six men and nearly
killed the doctor. Just how it had oc-
Cured was a mystery not only to the
public, bu. also to DR.. Wainright's
brother physicians, who, after carefully
examining the wrecked Office, could
find no sufficient cause for such an ap-
palling disaster. The doctor himself
was laid up in st. Joseph's hospital,
and his man, who had given the alarm
by. shouting from the second story win
dow of the DOCTORS office, had been TN
hl this day, when he began his nara
Hoh, confined in the Presbyterian hos
pital and unable to give an account Of
what he knew.
"Ye see" said Mike to the half dozen
doctors around his bed, "the doctor was
diggin' away at his books an his skel-
etons an cuttin' away at dead bodies
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
OVER THE OCEAN.

All attempts at reforesting Sicily fail
because of the destructive activity of
the goats.
Two hundred and seventeen lions
have been born at the Dublin ZOO dur
ing the last seventy years.
A plague of locusts has visited some
parts of Tunfs. The nomadic tribes
collect and eat them, the government
distributing salt to make them palata-
BILE.
Tattooed on the back Of a man who
has Just been arrested for theft in Par
is is a portrait of the Russian Grand
Duke Constantine showing all his dec
orations.
At the present ratio of progress sew
enty years will elapse before Pompeii
is entirely uncovered. 1t is thought
that as much Of treasure remains as
has been eXhumed.
While their pupils are holiday max
ing from May 1 to Sept. many of the
Swiss cantonal schoolmasters round
Zermatt take situations in the hotels
as walters or porters.
At a recent fur sale in London a
Partisan purchased in the open market
a black Siberian fox skin, 4S by
inches, paying for it the. sum of $1,000.
When dressed, it will cost it's wearer
$500.
Several of the smaller islands of
New Zealand are without telegraphiC
communication with the mainland. A
substitute has been found in carrier pi
geons. To send message by pigeon
costs % cents.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
TIT For Tat.

A Missouri farmer whose hog had
been killed by train and who mag
ined. himself to be something Of poet
wrote these lines to the company's
claim agent for a settlement:
My razorback strolled down your track
A week ago today;
Your % came down the line
And snuffed his light away.
You can't blame me; the hog, you see,
Slipped through a cattle gate;
So kindly pen check for ten,
The debt to iQuidate.
He was rather surprised few days
later to receive the following:
Old % came down the line
And killed your hog. we know.
But razorbacks on railroad tracks
Quite often meet with woe.
Therefore. my friend, I'VE cannot send
The check for which you pine.
N1stpdant the dead place o. er his head,
- HAerS l{es Q foolish SWINE"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

was the Doctor, for he STINT me but to
deliver thin all before he let the ovid
miser out av the room. Next day he
whit around an tried to git his money
back, but the most av it was drawed
out, an he couldn't.
But this did not satisfy the doctor,
an SO he tore the great brain to pieces
an began moddlin' another one-the
exact opposite av the benivolint gin
tleman. He picked up a low fellow
from a saloon, who was all fight an
niver spoke PEACEFUL word in his life.
"Whin it was done, he set it up an
we began experimintin' again, first wild
animals an thin wild men, an at last
came the Obligation av preachers which
caused the trouble.
Eye know thin. There was Parson
Whitley av the Presbyterians, Mr..
Wesley av the Mithodists, Rector En-
sign av the Episcopalians, Mr.. Strang
av the Complexities, DR.. Dipley av the
Baptists an one or two others, but
their names has slipped me mind.
"As soon as they were seated in the
back room an the current was turned
on thin preachers began arguin' an
thin after awhile to lfghtin'. After
watchin' thin for few minutes the
doctor became frightened at what he
had done an, forgittin' all about the
cya9k, ran in to separate the rivrind
gintlemen. ..
There be no made av me teilin' ye
what happened thin!
"The influence caught him as soon as
he got into the room, an he pitched
into the fight worse than any av thin.
Begorra, but it was fine fight! Och!
How me. heart jumped wild joy as I
watched thin peltin' one another an
breakin' the furniture into kindlin'
wood!
"Sez to mesilf, Wild such pious min
settin' the example there can be nothin'
wrong in a few whacks,' so wild a
whoop grabbed me stick an rushed
in.
"Be the Donnybrook fair, but it was
a swate time we had! But it was too
fine to last. What should that Baptist
do but swing a chair over his head,
thryin' to kill DR.. Whitley, an instead
av br1ngin' it down where he should
he hit the glass jar on the shift an
knocked the great brain to the floor an
broke it into a million pieces.
''Thin how cristfallen an ashamed
thin preachers was whin they came to
thimsilves an saw what they had been
doin'.
CAV coorse the doctor would not tx
plain, an so the preachers began beg
gin him not to tell on thin, which he
promised.
"But didn't.
"Thin the story wint around that
there had been terrific explosion in
the doctors office, an him an 1 were
taken to the hospital. Whist, there
comes the nurse wild the gruelr'
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
A Fit Subject.

Mrs. De Jarr-B there an idiot asy-
lum near here?
Mr.. De Jarr-I believe so.
"Do they take people on their own
recommendation?
"My stars! How should / known
Why? - .e
ooh, nothing, only today got hold
Of package of ny old love letters. -
New York Weekly. --
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Don't Be Foolish.

Look at your friends and acquaint-
ances You see them deliberately act
ing the fool every day. Possibly you
can look your friends over with less
prejudice than you can look yourself
over. Are you acting the fool and
causing yourself unnecessary annoy
anoe? There are SO many foolish peo-
pie in the world that you often find
startling things in looking yourself
over with eandor and fairness.-Ateh-
iSOn Globe. - .s
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

until he began to think that he knew
all about a man an could come as near
maxim one as the Creator himself, God
forgive me for sayin' it. But he didn't
care to do that, for he said there were
entirely too many men in the world
now. What he did want to do was
make brain, an after three years ay
hard study an practicin' he did so.
can't tell We what he made it av, but he
knew himself Sure, he used to be put
term around in the Office all hours av
the night, kapin' me awake whin
naded rest, for slept in the little room
behint the office.
'Well, after the doctor had studied
the ingredients av mans brain until
he knew just what it was made av, he
wint to work moddlin' one. An /
helped him, may God forgive me! He
had studied some phrenology or other
an knew how to fix the bumps, too,
so that his brain would be benivolint,
an whin it was done it was as near
like me own as two peas, barrin' the
difference in size. Ye know what in
fluence one mind has over another?
Well, this was the principle on which
the doctor was workin'. He intinded
to work on other mems minds by this
big brain av his'n.
Yell be wonderin' how he set it
goin', an that is something I'll not
tell We, either, for 1 don't know, but
he figured an figured wild electricity
an the powers av the air until he
rugged up a machine that did the bust
ness, an whin he wanted to set the
thing a-goin' all he had to do was turn
a little crank, an the brain began send
in out it's influence, an as it was doz>
en- times bigger than a common mans
brain he figured that he could make
any man do what he wanted him to If
he once got him under the influence
av it.
"Ye mind ovid Lawyer Skinner, him
as wint crazy a year ago an decided
away all his money to hospitals an
churches an colleges? Av coorse We
do. Faith, it was tie doctor as did
it. May the saints presarve JUS, yis.
the doctor! AS 1 told We, this brain
av his'n was made benivolint, like me
own, wild great bulgin' forehead. We
experiminted on a number av animals
before we came to Lawyer Skinner
We know what close listed man he
was an the riches av him? Well, one
day whin I see the doctor toolin' him
up the stairs wondered what was in
the wind, but the doctor had every
thing ready for him unbeknownst
to me; had cheekbook an lot av
writfn' paper an deeds an convey
ances on the cinter table in the room
where the brain was. an pen an ink
too.
Just step into the next ROOM the
doctor said, all SO pleasant as pie, till
look at some papers an thin I'll join
ye.'
''Well, the doctor seen the lawyer
seated at the table an thin he turned
the crank, which was out in the room
we were in, an thin we stood an
watched him through the glass top av
the door. First the ovid fellow began
sto squirm around in his chair as If
something was hurtin' him. Thin
PEACEFUL EXPRESSION came over his face,
an he reached for the cheekbooks. He
filed ivry one av thin for poor people
an churches an hospitals, aR whin
they were all used up the doctor turned
the power down little an whit in an
got thin. Sure. an he was cute one.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Breathing of Insects.

Insects generally breathe through
special pores in various parts of their
bodies. and if these pores are closed by
Oil they are suffocated. Any enc may
test this by dropping sweet oil on the
thorax or back of a wasp. 1t very
soon dies. For this reason oil has been
found one of the best things to use for
the destruction Of insects.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
A Juvenile Feminine Prayer.

A little girl was spending the sum-
mer at a fashionable watering place,
and one morning as she playeds upon
mother was stopping she heard a
lengthy conversation upon the fashions
of the day and the absolute necessity
of stylishness in dress if one hoped to
be success in society. One lady went
so far as to say that stylishness was
far more important than beauty.
That night as the child said her
usual prayer she added, with great
earnestness. "And, oh, dear Lord, do
please make me stylish"
Magazine. =
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
THE coLLEcTcf WHO KNEW
An illustrations - The Danger Of Re-
Ing Too se Confident.

An illustrations "a NE Danger of Re-
Ing Too Sc. Confident.
"The trouble with you fellows is
you want things, bus yon know moth
ing about 'em. You come over here
and carry home lot &C truck that
European collector wouldn't give
house room, and when you see a really
good thing you don't know it, or you
wont pay price for it unless some
dealer makes you. You see, yor don't
know; that's what's the matter: how
can you? Nobody in America wanted
antiques before the Centennial. If
you'd lived here twenty years, like me,
you'd learn something, you'd find out
that collecting isn't thing Of money,
but knowing" N%
We had been walking -. in Venice
down narrow Gale while the collect
or was speaking. Look at that old
brass SCALE" he resumed, pointing to a
fish stall in the little outdoor market
on which we had just emerged.
"There's a gem, not very old, but of,
the finest seventeenth century Venetian
work. If you saw that in New York
dealers, all cleaned up, you'd gtve,ub
a good Zeal for It; but you'd "a passed
it by dozen times II hadn't spoken
about it. See that old funk stank lover
there! 1 never pass a thing like that.
You can never tell what you may pick
up-if you only know" ......
We had scarcely reached the stand
when the collector thrust out his hand
with the swiftness Of hawk darting
on it's prey, and swooped upon little
jewel box. (
"Carnelian! Russian, should say,
from the Ural mountains. It's not of
great value, but it's "a pretty little
thing, If it was cleaned up. It's mine,
anyway" To the keeper of the stall:
"Quanto?"
The Venetian slowly uncoiled him
self and came down from the church
steps, where he had been sleeping.
"Does the signore want the pretty
trife? The signore knows it's value
better than l, and he'll be generous?'
'I'll give you Ira for it., 1t isn't
worth it, but one mustn't be hard with
the"poor."
81 had hoped should get fvew
"Well, I'll make it two"
at is the signore's."
"There, you see! eXultingly chuckled
the collector. THAT'S what it is to
know. An exquisite carnelian Russian
jewel casket for 40 cents! You'd never
have thought of looking among a lot
of rusty old iron for a. thing like that,
would you"
While speaking he held the box with
a miser's clutch.
MAY see it, pleaseT
He reluctantly handed it to me as
though fearing l might make a sud-
den dash down the Gale with his treas
ure. .-...
"PheW" said | coHtcmptuously,
handing the box back to him. "Its not
carnelian at all. It's glass, nothing but
glass;
"Glass" drawing a magnifier from
his waistcoat pocket and mutely ex-
amining the purchase. "Fm-1'm-
afraid-it Isl" he said sheepishly. ,
"Of course it is"
"I-don't know" sadly. Eyes, it is
glass! You see, it's SO dirty. Oh, well,
we all make mistakes at times. Do
you want it" disgust taking the place
of sadness. "You can have it for a
quarter"
"Well. guess it's worth a quarter"
l think my eyes must have snapped.
YES" ~
And that is how an almost unique
example of the cinque cento came into
my collection Of Venetian glass.-New
York Post
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
"hv She Game

Young Husband Ito wife)-Didn't l
telegraph you not to bring your mother
with you?
Young Wife-I know; that's what
she wants to see you about. She read
the telegra nal-S te Louis Mirror.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
A Night or.

"Some one took two of my chickens
last night. Was it you, Sambo?"
"'Deed it wasn't, sur. Las night
was Friday night. is superstitious.
I never took nothing on Friday nights,
sur."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
strictly business.

slave you observed that man who
has been abusing your"
"Yes," answered Senator Sorghum
placidly. 1--WE been watching him
with great deal of interest. If
wanted anybody abused, l don't know
but,I should hire him in preference to
anybody know of" Washington
Star.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Amt No Such Thing,

"What we need most in this coun-
try" said the political reformer, 'is an
honest count"
f''They amt no such thing" declared
Mr.. Nuritch. 81 know all about 'em, for
my daughter married one" -Philadel-
phia Press.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Conversation Maker.

81 don't know what the trouble u.s."
said the hostess in a tone of great an
noyance. my guests seem very dis
tant and unsocial. I wish could think
of some way to start them talking
to one another"
''That's very easily DONE" answered
Miss Cayenne. els there a musician
present?"
eyes"
"Get him to play or sing something"
Washington Star.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Loss and Gain.

Mrs. Blinks-Oh, John, I've lost my
diamond ring somewhere.
Blinks-Yes, 1 know you did.
Mrs. Blinks-Why, how did you know
it?
: Blinks-I found it in my trousers
pocket at the same time discovered
that 1 had lost $3.-Chicago News.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

Cant you make fifteen or twenty
words out of that, Henrietta I" asked
Mrs. Parvenu as her daughter was
writing telegram. 81 don't want the
clerk to think we can't afford to send
more than ten words. Chicago Post.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Goat Wanted.

Wifey (who is doing her own cook
ing now)-I can't seem to make little
enough Of anything. wish some poor
hungry creatuue had what we have left
every day.
Hubby (who hasn't much appetite
lateiy)-Yes, we ought to keep a goat.
They say a goat can eat anything
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
True .COuraEe.

RhyiHs-Yes, he was paying atten-
ton to her quite long time.
Blanche-Perhaps he hadn't the cour-
age to propose.
. Phyllis-Oh. 1 don't know. Perhaps
he had the courage not to propose
Brooklyn Life.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

"Have you been married long? ask
ed the lady who was making converse
ton of the six footer.
"Just as long as am now" he re-
plied.-Ohio State Journal.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
A Fried In Need.

Wederly-Did understand you to
say that Enpeck Is a relative Of yours!
Singleten-You did. He's my STEP
friend by marriage.
g Wederly-Stepf,iend! Why, how's
that?
Singleton--He stepped in and eloped
with the girl I vas engaged tex
change.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
His Locust.

"O,Brien siz he hos bin carryin' the
same stick liver since he hos bin Oh
the force"
"How long hos thot bin?'
"Sivintane>yeaB."
"Bedad, ut must be sivintane year
Observation-Disclosures Record.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

Nearly every peson you meet is look"
Ing for encouragement" but the most
successful men AVE found it neces-
sary to encourag themselves. -Atchi-
son Globe.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

Little Harry, aged four, had just
fallen from a chair on which he had
been standing. H. +. II
81 told you to keep of that chair
or yeu would fall" said his mother
reprovingiy. -e--. III
"Well, it was an accident" replied
Harry. 81 didn't mean to mind you"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

make misfortune more bitter. They
increase the cares of life, but they
mitigate the remembrance of death
Bacon
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

:. Don't you think Will has muslca:
laughy"
Indeed do! I notice he always
laughs when youtry to sing."-Denves
News.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

Dorothy, aged six, was watching the
kettle cover rise and fall while the
kettle at the same time emitted tiny
puts of steam. Finally she called
out: "Oh, mamma, come here quick!
One of the kettles has got the asth-
mar
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

Mamma-Tommy, I do wish you
would try to act like a gentleman.
Tommy aged fye)-I do try, mamma.
Mamma-But you don't succeed very
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
Not a Facrrtx.

She-Have you noticed that have a
faculty for falling in IeSe?
He-Facul11 No. Fickfety.-Kale
Record
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21

Tommy-N'ell, 4 can't help IL
mamma. suppose take after you.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1902-08-21
I14BhqHgTE1
aa1el@ajISElxN
BY THE LITTLE ONES.

Humorous Sayings by the Rising
Mites of Humanity.
Mamma-Willie, didn't give you
permission to play in the street today.
Willfe-I know you didn't, mamma,
but saved part of the permission you
gave me yesterday.
The oasis., 1902-09-06
How's This.

We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for any case of catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
 F.J. CHENEY < Co.,, Toledo, o.
 We, the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney for the last l5 years, and believe him perfectly honorable in all business transactions, and financially able to carry out any obligations made by their firm
 West & Truax, wholesale drug gists, Toledo, 0.
 Walding, Kinnan X Marvin, wholesale druggists, Toledo, O.
 Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken in- ternally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Price 75c per bottle. Sold by all druggists Testimonials free.
 Halls Family Pills are the best.