West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-01-02
OLD MAN BOWSER.
inrenis One Day Jough Cure THAT
Comes Near Causing His Death.

/ - N"f - fANHNhA - ANNA nave n
| good thing
Is &, another poeke, FIRE escape she
prcSis ted
What do YOU mean by another p
WHY. you've bough, FIVE OF six you
know. aud broken Jour back three OF four
times
Five r six Woman have YOU gone
era1y' never bought bu, one FIRE escape
in my life aud that worked to a charm.
and not the slightest accident happened
You have a bad way OF ofeNaggtrating things
aud wish YOU would correct H. Ifaman
made such statements he would be called
a liar"
Well there are no less than three as
capes up in the garrett l was looking at
them yesterday
Then you put them there for some pur.
pose OF your own. I'm no doddcrug IDIOT"
Mrs. Bowser had no more to say. and he
was in sulky mood during the dinner
hour. When they were seated for the
evening. she sought to smooth things over
little by repeating some neighborhood
gossip she had heard aud after time he
melted and said
Mrs Bowser, do you know that what
might be called the cough season OF the
year is now with usi"
Yes; most every body has cough
along about now. she replied
And most everybody must doctor for
H. II II wasn't for colds. coughs and sore
throats. the druggists would't do half the
business they DO. would you say 1000.
600 people out Of our population OF So 600
600 had coughs to be cured during the
winter"
why shouldn't wonder"
And II costs all Of so cents to cure a
cough doesn't it2"
II should say IL did"
Very well continued Mr. Bowser as he
got ou, pencil. Wen say that 10000.
600 people have coughs and the cost Of
curing them is Sro.ooo 600, You must re.
member, however. that a cough is per.
nicious thing. II frequently means death.
estimate thar 100000 Of the 40. COO 600 !
die after paying out their money to be
cured. Suppose that these people could
be saved from death
But how asked the puzzled Mrs.
Bowser.
The average cough canno, be cured
under day Suppose it could be cured |
In one, that would save nine days suffering |
wouldn't it,
Yes. OF course but"
Hold on little. a" he Interrupted Sup
pose. again that II only costs 10 cents Ia
stead OF 80 cents to cure cough That's |
g., 900. 900 year saved to the people as |
make IL. while the other 100000 goes to !
the inventor OF the cough syrup Can any. /
thing be palmer than ihatS"
"W-what scheme have you got now
she Gatcred
II am not in the scheme business. Mrs |
Bowser'' lac suniy replied u have an /
idea now and th n. as other business men
have. but there's no schoming about il. |
Let me show you something
lie went down the hall to the hatrack |
and got the package. and returning 10 her /
he opened IL and displayed a quart bottle |
full OF some sort OF liquid.
There. my friend hc said rs ho placed |
the bottle before her Let me- introduce
10 you Bowsers one Day Cough Cure
You've gone into cough syrup shc |
exclaimed
"Wcll there % is ! found thc recipe |
among lot Of old papers ani lvs had it
compounded. Io.ccnt bottle will cure q /
cold in one day I'm going 90 order bot
ties and labels, and put IL OF the market. |
Bowser's one Day Cough Care will be %
household word in three monihs and Bow
ser himself viii be known as ercltcr !
philanthropist than Carnegie what do |
you think OF that des2
IL wish you hadn.t. She replied
oh Of coursci It's another OF my fa3s
I ,s.s
to you about it"
But how do you know it will cure cold
in one day2"
How do know that jonah was swal
lowed by The whalc2' be houy exclaimed
"Of course IL will It's Warrantcd 20
'rh druggist who put it up said "a struck
gold mine Please understand that ibis
is no quilts aud honey affair that you've
got 20 drink a quart Of 90 have any effect
It's what you might call four py and one
dose gives instant relief
You arc sure Of all this2"
"My dear women. do ] ever go into ans
| thing am not sure OF OF course { go
sure. By putting out this cure ! save SEQ
| o3o lives per ycar and become an philan
/ thropisL By charging 10 cents bottle
/ become a bloated bondhoidcr before sou
can turn around The profits immense
simply immense. Just taste 30 and sec II
children won't cry for 81
~ don't think I care TO-" she replied
"Ii viii turn out like all your spring tonIcs
rootbecr preserved elders and so on
wish you
There you eo ag1ini' bo shouted as be
prsnccd around the room Women. you
drive me crazy You'd better 20 up 10
your room.
Mrs Bowser and her tears departed
and Tor 10 minutes after they had gone
Mr.. Bowser walked around and ieIt hlm.
self the greatest martyr Of husband ln
the world. Then it suddenly occurred TO
him that hc had not yet tasted of che one
Day Cure himself and hc Withdrew tbc
cork and took swig aud smackcd lis
lips and said
They'll cry for &c for sure small bottle
small dose. big cure. why viii sou cough
your heads OF when Bowsers remedy will
cure you in - hours' % may even bo good
for The cat heard her sucezing around
this morning.
The cat happened 20 bc asleep undcr
che piano ard thdA escaped him and hc
took another dose and then sal down to
write out Che labels for nus bottles H.
/ bad been very bnsg for is miooies when Boz
/ felt a sudden pain beneath isis waiubaod
! Mrs Bowscr heard him coll out and spriae
/ up minuatc iltcr She heard hm
stamping about and groaninc Another
minute and be was out in thc BAH after
! his hat and overcoai and she hurried
down the stairs fo ASKS.