The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-08-10

"Why is it," asked Mr.. Hennessy.
that rayform administration always
goes to tn bad?"
"I'n tell ye," said Mr.. Dooley. At
tell we ivrything an I'll tell We this.
In tn first place, tits a gr-reat mistake
to think that annywan ra-aly wants to
rayform. Ye niver heerd iv a man ray
formin' himsilf. He'll rayform other
people gladly. He likes to do it. But
a healthy manll niver rayform while
he has tn strength. A man doesn't
rayform till his will has been impair
ed so he hasn't power to resist what
tn pa-apers calls tn Establishments iv
tn timpter. An that's thruer in pol
itcs thin anywhere else.
but a rayformer don't see it. A ray
former thinks he was ilicted because
he was a rayformer whin tn thruth
is tn matther is he was ilcted be-
cause no wan knew him. Ye can al
ways illicit a man in this country on
that platform. If l was runnin' FIR Of
five, I'd change me manner an have
printed on me cards: Give him
chanst; he can't be worse He's illicit
ed because tn people don't know him
an do know tn other la-ad, because
Mrs. Casey's Oldest boy was dubbed
by polisman, because we cudden't get
wather above tn third story wan day,
because tn sthreet car didn't stop FIR
us, because tn Flannigans bought a
piano, because we was near run over
be mail wagon, because tn saloons
are open Sundah night. because they're
not open all day, an because we're
60 70 OF xuin
whin we go down to pay tn wather
taxes. TIL rayformer don't know this.
He thinks you an me, Hinnissy, has
been watchin' his spotless career FIR
twinty years, that we've read all he
had to say on tn evils iv poplar suf-
ferage befure tn S'ciety FIR the Be-
wilderment iv tn Poor, an that we're
achin' in ivry joint to have him dhrag
us be tn hair iv tn head firm tn
flown bowl an tn short card game,
make good citizens iv us an sind US
to tn pinitinchry So tn minwit he
gets into tn job he begins a furyous
attimpt to convart us into what we've
been thryin' not to be iVry since we
come into tn wurruld.
"In tn coorse iv tn twinty years
that he spint attimptin' to get office,
he managed to poke a few warrum
laws conthrollin' tn pleasures iv tn
poor into tn stachoo book, because no
wan cared about thin or because they
made business betther FIR tn polls an
Whin he's in office, he calls up tn
Cap'n iv tn polls an says he: If these
laws ARE bad laws tn way to end
thin is to enforce thim. Somebody
told him that, Hinnissy. 1t isn't thrue,
dye mind. / don't care who said it,
not if twas Willum SHAKESPEARE. 1t
isn't thrue. Laws ARE made to throu-
BILE people an tn more throuble they
make, tn longer they stay on tn
stachoo book But tn polls don't asst
amy questions. Says they They'll be
less money in tn job but we need some
recreation an that night big cop
per comes down tn sthreet, sees me
| settin' out on tn front stoop with me
| countenance dhraped with tin pail,
| fans me with his club an runs me in.
TIL woman mex dure is locked Up FIR
| sthringin' a clothes lipe on tn roof.
Eannigan's boy Tim gets tin days FIR
keepin' a goat, tn polls reserves are
called out to PROTECT tn vested rights
iv property against tn haynyouS push
cart man, TIL stations is crowded with
felons charged with maintainin' hose
contrary to tn stachoos made an
provided, an tn Underline is all over
town. A rayformer don't think emmy
thing has been accomplished If they Sc
a vacant bedroom in tn pinitinchry.
His motto is Arrest that man.,
'Whin a rayformer is ilicted he
promises we business andministhra-
ton. Some people want that but
don't. TIL American business man is
too fly. He's all right, dye tnind.
don't say anything again him. He is
what Hogan calls tn boolwarks Nv pro-
gress, an we cudden't get on without
him even If his scales are a little too
quick on tn dhrop. But he ought to
be left to dale with his akels. It's
shame to give him a place where he
can put tn comether on millions iv
people that has had no business thrain-
in beyond occasionally handin piece
iv debased money to car conductor
on cold day. A regular POLITICIAN