The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-09-10
IaWdry Tragedy and Ugly
Comedy of Submerged "
ONE DAYS SHORT SESSION
''Nothia' Dom Out of the Ordinary"
Says the Blase Bailif-Woman Who
Must Have Been Pretty Once-Refuse
of the Alleys.

thought Of the other half-the under
4 haIi-cOmes. 10 the surface than Iii. Ia
+ dies who subscribe to the charitable or
CARNATIONS could CLEAN from Eaif q hun
/ dred yearly reports. or digest IN q, dozen
+ stunning expeditions" said the clever
young attorney
More ragged threads of wretchedness
/ and vice cross each other there every
day than Victor Hugo could untanele in
! another three volumes Of Les AIiser-
ables.' il he followed each to the wheel
/ Of crime which spun it; and there are
! enough of mirth-provoking and pity
/ provoking incidents TO furnish another
/ Charles Dickens with material for half
= dozen sketches
Farce comedy. cheap melodrama. and
little tawdry tragedies follow each other
across the boards SO closely as t. step
upon each others heeS
Uaintelligible Sing-Song.
The Judge comes into court and takes
his seat. the bailiF rattIes on the IN
Ineligible s;ng-song which means that
al who have no business there shall re-
tF~e, the clean hats and the greasy hats
come OF together, and The clerk de
cIares the court opened for the day.
The morning grist is driven into he
: hopper ana the mill begins 90 grind
! bout forty prisoners. two-thirds OF
them black. are herded together in the
narrow iron corral The chances are
that At least half of them have been
. there before and their faces. Which in
spire every sentiment from pity to dis
gust run the gamUt of all expressions
from lively anxiety TO sodden indiHer-
euce-
Pearl Jones, calls out the clerk
Pearl Jones, repeats the bailiff, and
Pearl slouches forward.
Pearl Jones YOU are charged on or
about the 'steenth day of September. Of
the year 1902. with cursing and swear
ing and engaging In disorderly conduct"
begins the clerk. and his voice dies into
the regulation iadistinguisheble court
sing-sOng before he has finished
Of Congo Ancestry.
Pearl is a chocolate-coIored lady. with
penduIous lips and the wide nostriI OF
her Congo ancestors She also possesses
their love for fuery, for verify ne
lilies Of the field are rot arrayed as
she Pearl pleads not guilty, and. after
the officer who brought her in has told
the judge about how he picked her out
of the midst of a brawI the night be-
fore, she takes the stand
ledge, yer honah. says Pearl. with
deceptive air OF injured innocence. i
don't know why for dis oficah alters
pickin on ne
! war settin' in my own house las
night when I done hear a rumpus il
Mis- Smif's place neE' door what's al {
lers raisin' Cain. [ jes went out thah /
ter see what All the trouble wah about (
Sez I 10 His Smif. YOU ais amt I
got no sense. IS you, raisin rumpus /
when decent folks is tryin fab 20 !
Sleep
Mis- Smif, she say, Who say We ais f!
got ne sense. Pearl Jcnes2-
I say, Who say anyone say you ais
amt got no sense2 I jss ask yer is I
yer?'
An AK Behind the Door.
ledge, yer honah. wifi dat she pick
up a ak what wah settin' benin de don, /
an she call me a name wouldn't say. /
beIn' a decent woman. and she frew dat /
az At me, an I run home I wan dat /
scared. yer honah, 7 squat right down .
on my knees, Gaze I been a chuch mem
bah an I wah prayin thah wnen dis /
yeah offcah come in an rest me. But
as fer usiB' no profanity, jedge yer
DD4dl. tl&L III CLlCaH IS nan, an ne Z
alters got pick at ne. "
II develops however, that Pearls /
version OF the affair is not strictly ac-
curate. Mis- Sniff testifes that she
went over 10 Pearls house to get the 1
Tin bucket, what ! lends Pearl SatuI-
day night 10 get some beer fur sun
cay" and that Pearl labOTing under al
cohoIic excitement, and the belief that
the aforesaid bucket was her own gave
it to her right across the mouf judge
Pearl gets q 50 d fine with the alter
native OF fifteen days in the workEouse.
MaudIin and PuTpIe-Nosed.
fearful. maudlin, purple-noscd. and
Patrick HooUgan, next
pleads not guilty 10 a charge OF va
grancy Patrick's assets appear 20 be
twC-thirds Of a shirt, whole. gray
beard. that yies in ragg adness with MS
a pair Of shoes. which are not
even distant relatives, and a rafting
cough unpleasantly suggestive Of a pine
coffin. and a lot in the pouer's field
He TELLS the court he is a shoemak-
er by trade. but he has TO acknowledge
he has nos worked al The trade Tor three
years, and that he has served several /
terms in the wOrkhouse. Patrick is
piece Of whisky soaked Aotsam thai is
waited high and dry in the Police Court
dock al regular intervals. ara there IS
nothing else for the judge TO do bur sena
him back 70 the workhOuse
The Alley Crap Game Fight.
Five coIored men. one Of them clad
in bIood-soaked shirt, are next called.
The were shooting craps and chasing
The can in an alley. and GOT into gen,
sral fight. He Of the bIo0d-soaked shirt
was struck on the head with brickbat
Testimony ELECTS the fact tha; the
brick bat was 50 completely shattered as
10 be Of no further use in this world
4 dozen valuable witnesses advance
much trreveIevant testimony and the
nen draw sixty days each
The next is a white girl. not twenty
i've years OF age. with painted face :
md bleached hair. and cheap anery.
Must Have Been Pretty Once. !
Three years ago she must have been
a5heT pretty. A simgering attempt at
oquetry heightels the effect OF banaI
anity on her face when she pleads not
uiIty TO the charge Of vagrancy.
4 don't have to work. your nonor. II
ne says, impudentIy !,
Thirty days 10 the workhouse. savs .
he judge 'Ycull work there Next s