The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-07-30
A MECHANICAL CONSCIENCE.

| he vivacity Of tenpera ment she displayed
IN occasions. she soon proved such an es-
innate a fault OF Judgment. II is her
| misfortune TO see the ludicrous side of
| life. and In spite Of her deep mourning
and broken heart. she laughs merrily on
the slightest provocation. She calls IL the
hysteria Of grief.
Mrs Haskell has an Offset to her laugh
| ter habit in a troublesome conscience-she
| Is always SHINING in her small way and
| repenting. That is why all the people
| who sit at her table in the boarding
house are interested in her. especially the
men, who are cleverer than the women
| and more forgiving-
| Il should not have gone TO that picnic, -
/ she walled one morning; 1t was no place
for me- My life is set apart from such
| frivolities. And now Miss Smith will not
| speak to me. But it was so funny. You
| know she is so near-sighted, and when
she saw what she thought was a grassy
mound she threw herself down and it
proved to be a collection OF salads which
| the picnic chef had left uncovered a few
moments. There was yolk of egg on both
| elbows of her white dimity gown, and shs
saw me laughing.
The idea Of that widow with a broken
heart spooning around at a picnic, Miss
Smith remarked viciously. cycling poor
| Margaret askance
Does your conscience torment you for
laughing at herr" asked the young pro-
fessor who had no profession. but was
awfuliy clever
Yes, it does But of what use is a con-
| science that lets you do all sorts Of things
and never let's itself be felt or heard until
il is too late? That is what l want to
know"
My dear lady. it is not conscience then
lit is remorse. You must not confound
the two conditions.
Why have a Conscience" asked Mar
garet's vis-a-vis, a grave. dark man who
was supposed TO be a musician. II never
bother with the thing at all. AS I happen
to know the difference between right and
wrong. 1 don't lay the responsibility on
my conscience. Pardon me, Mrs. Haskell.
did you settle with your washerwoman
last night?'
"oh, you heard. did you? Wasn't it
shameful?''
Yes. thought so at the time"
4 am glad you did. Why, she over
charged me 40 cents. then wanted 10 keep
the amount to buy a Sunday dinner. The
idea OF her having a banquet ar my ex-
pense."
1T would not have been much of a ban
quet; there are seven in the family, all
dependent on their mother for their bread
without butter. So your conscience did
not trouble you about that2 1 wouldn't
have such conscience.
But it did trouble me-" retorted Mar
garet. But can l. with my limited in
come, support the hungry seven?"
You can do your part. l have read in
the good book something about oppress-
ing the poor. I never hear a complaint
about the price of box of flowers to send
a friend or TO wear at a function. Sup
pose you were always just before you
were generous? Did your conscience do
its whole duty them
No" said Margaret. sadly. II must
have given it a sedative. Ii went TO
sleep.
When the musician left the professor
returned to the attack.
Conscience is fetish we set up to bear
our sins. l had one. but it kept me in
such rigid state of discipline that l got
rid of it in self-defense.'
But you still have it about your moral
constituencies?
No; it was a mechanical conscience,
and I threw it into a rubbish drawer,
where it has remained TO this day.
Give it TO me- appealed Margaret.
THAT is the kind of conscience I need
Every time l look at It l will be reminded
OF my duty. [ hope it will keep me from
laughing at nothing and everything and
sacrificing my. friends.
When the professor came to dinner he
brought his mechanical conscience with
him. 1t was tied up in n package, and
when relieved of its wrapping turned out
to be one of those solemn-faced paste
board donkeys whose heads sway inces-
sanity from side TO side. As soon as it
was placed on the table in front Of Mar
garet it began its weird motion. The
boarding house people looked on at the
strange proceeding with awed curiosity.
Margaret laughed.
1T doesn't approve of me- she said.
Tss~ -
beast began TO joggle its head up and
down.
THAT signifies approval" said the pro-
fessor. Il see a possible rival
The dear stupid. calculated Margaret.
and she carried of the pasteboard con-
science. which was installed on her dress
ing table as mentor. it began ty max
ing her keep good hours. No more com
ing in from moonlight walks and rides or
stolen interviews on the verandas when
an inanimate thing sat up to keep watch
and ward OF her and wagged its head
from side TO side like a Chinese mandarin.
When she threw a handkerchief over 1t it
looked even more accusing. Directing I'M
Ger 1t in that Shostiy fashion.
on the days that Margaret spent in sor-
rowful retrospect. when her broken heart
grated sadly. the oracle never moved its
pivotal head at all. there being no football
on the floor 10 set il vibrating. Having
set It up for a conscience. Margaret liked
TO think il was in sympathy with herself.
The professor. having for the second
time repudiated the moral timekeeper
dubbed a conscience. did net want to hear
Of it again. He had matters OF more in
tercst 10 talk over with Margaret who
ould not understand. SO at present there
is q GOODNESS between them. all on account
of the oracle. Margaret had asked him
DO you believe that I am improved
since I adopted a conscience p
He shook his head. The brusqueness Of /
II piqued her. She recalled the sacrifices (
she had made and was hurt.
That is what the other donkey be- I
lieVes.' she said.
Daf1fftf