davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

ed while tn bugles blew tn CHEEKY call
to tea. Eager hands unshipped tn
marmalade an opened tn caddies,
bread was toasted on tn small stoves
carried by ivry officers valet, tn pick
cts an scouts were dispatched FIR plum
cake, an f'rgettin' FIR a moment tn
thriles iv tn campaign, tn rough war
ryors INDUCED in that repast that has
done so much to make Eng
lishmen what they are. At siven,
havin' taken all precautions, havin'
placed tn powdher in a cool runnin
brook an tethered tn mules to tn
rifles, tn vast army slept. 1t was
breakfast time whin tn God iv Slum-
Der was dhriven off be tn other Brit
ish God iv Appetite. Such, Hinnissy
is tn brief story iv Ginral Kitch-
ener's cillybrated dhrive, as 1 read it
in tn pa-apers.
ITO some eXtint it was SUCCESSFUL an
to some other extints not TIL bands
were good. TIL tea was fine, though
some prefer Oolong. Rifles, pompoms,
mules, fusileers, etcethry had been
lost. But not wan British gin'ral had
been captured. Not wan. They were ell
at breakfast an tn great heart iv tn
British nation was sad. TIL great
heart begun to grumble, which is a
way tn great heart iv nation has.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

phone ahead when they are coming
Home, so that it won't be too much of
Shock. 1 have tried both Kinds and
if it came to a toss-up 1 don't believe
l should pick either. My Preference
would be for the Kind that is around
when he is needed and that keeps out
of the way during the long Intervals
in between, but 1 never met that kind
except in my Dreams.
i will say this for all of them, how
ever. For the first Month they can't
be shooed beyond the Front Door. The
Wife who is not Next to the Habits of
the Critter sees him sitting there all
Evening, surrounded by the Wedding
Presents and reading a History of the
United States presented by his Fellow
Employees at the Wholesale House, and
she tells herself that Domestic Life is
Cinch. But there comes an Evening
when he lowers the Volume of History
and listens for somebody to call him
up on the Phone and say that Adams
of Galesburg is waiting for him at the
Hotel. She never met Adams of Gales
burg. She never will meet Adams OF
Galesburg, but she will hear about him
now and then, also about Balancing the
Books at the End of the Month, put
ting somebody through the Blue Lodge
or the Consistory, and a Meeting Oh
the Directors of the Business Mems
League and the Committee on Street
Improvement. Then the Time VIII
come when no Story goes with the Exit.
She will go to the Kitchen to count up
the Breakage for the Day and when
she returns she will have the Front
of the House all to herself, for he VIII
have executed a cat-like Sneak. Ihat
is when she wants to join a Whist Cluo
and buy a Motto reading as follows
Absence makes the Heart grow Fonu-
err"
Now, love to hear the Wise SIS
ters get up and do their Stunts at d
Club Meeting, but l am here to zen
them that when the Other Half OIL tne
Sketch wants to duck away he Will es-
cape, and you can't hold him by play
ing on the Piano or reading Emerson
Essays. I've tried everything from
putting Morphine in his Coffee up "
Brute Force, and now, when numoei
begins to get restless about Z r NJ
l hand him his Hat and tell nm u
come in as quietly as possible. -,
MORAL-True Happiness must Nc
taken in broken Doses.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

have tn pleasure to rapport that yis-
terdah at nine o'clock Lord Mechoon
be superb Sthrategy had himsilf sur
rounded be an infeeryor foorce iv
Beers undher Gin'ral Delaney or some
such name. Our customary precaution
iv dhrawin' in tn pickets aftlt4r night
fall an burying our rifles, which had
repeatedly failed in tn past OWN to
tn caution iv tn Beers Wurrnked ad-
mirably. Gin'ral Delaney was COM
pletely taken be surprise an before he
cud recover, Lord Methuen had thrown
himsilf around his neck an given him
his cigreet case in token iv submission
Tn command behaved with gr-reat
gallantry. In wan case, a whole
com'ny surrindhered to wan Boer. 1
am sindin' accommodations FIR tn
Victorya cross be freight Unfor-
chunately our casualties were very
heavy. Mesilf an nearly all tn other
gin'rals escaped capture. But bet
Their luck mex time. Gin'ral Dewet
is about a mile firm here if in Africa
at all or indeed, livin' Gin'ral Botha
. is said to be in Ioway, though We can't
believe ivrything We see in tn pa
. apers. Wan or tn other may be en-
thrapped into kidnapin' me- In tn
manetime l am plannin' right along.
1 sleep constantly in clothes becomin'
me station, an tn Umpire may rely on
me not maxim show iv mesilf whin
1 am took. Ye'ers hopefully, Kitch-
ener.'
$50 there We ar-re. TIL raysistance
fv tn Beers is in its dyin' throes, al
though iv coorse, they're an adhroit
race an they may give him back.
Look out some mornin' FIR a dispatch
readinl: 'Crushin' revarse FIR the
British. Night attack. Mechoon ray
turned"
Don't ye think tn Beers will keep
on fightin p asked Mr.. Ffennessy. -
They have gr-reat resoorce, said
Mr.. Dooley. There ARE NANNY Brit
. ish gin'rals."
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30
MIR. DOOLEY ON
THE CAPTURE OF METHUEN.
BYE. DuNNE.

Once there was a lot of Dolly Gra3s
who had nothing to do in the After
noon except look for Kitchen Help, so
they organized Club at which Maca-
rooms were served and Current Evils
received many a sassy Rap.
Sometimes they would put their
Heads together to find out why it is
that the beetle browed Public prefers
the Dimple Sisters in their renowned
Buck and Wing Dido to something
real upetty-up by Comrade Maeter-
linck.
Several times they had settled all
outstanding Differences between Cap
ital and Labor, but they forgot to send
Word to the interested Parties.
One Day they ali took hold of long
Rope and pulled Rudyard Kipling down
from his Pedestal. The only Thing
that saved Kipling was that ne did
not hear anything about it.
But when they rallied around the
Home Topics, that was where they
lived. When it came to setting down
Rules for depressing the natural-born
Instincts of the Little Folks, they were
Fine and Fancy.
Occasionally they took up Man and
picked him to Pieces. One Week they
proved that he was absolutely No
Good, and at the next Roundup they
discussed Ways and Means of keep
ing him at Home. A Girl who had been
on the Bargain Counter since the Year
of the Big Wind, and no Takers, arose
and wanted to know why, if Man was
such a Bunch of Trouble, they were
not willing to get shut of him. She
was hooted and the Executive Com
mittee threatened to take her License
away from her if she didn't behave.
Myrtle McGraw had a very hot Pa
per, tied with Blue Ribbon, on how to
make Home so attractive that the
Meal-Ticket would not care to go
chasing out every Evening" Myrt had
just escaped from a School for Girls
and she had a lot of beautiful Theories
that were simply waiting to be frost
bitten. She allowed that If a Wife
would put tissue-paper Shades on all
the Lamps and surround the Old Boy
with plenty of Sofa Pillows and per-
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30
Copyright, 1902, by Robert Howard Russell.

Gin'ral Lord Kitchener, K. c. B., K.
N, K. L. K. G. K. r. with medals).
TIL other gin'rals.
Pianos, Pianolas, Cottage Organs,
Ping Pong Sets, Tennis Bats, Bridge
Scores, Cricket Stumps, War Cory
spondints.
The Avingin' Line.
Their horses.
Their Ammunition,
Their Food,
and
Their Rifles.
LAS tn dhread formation moved off
in tn bright sunlight iv that fair day
in March, with tn band playin a quick
sthep an the colors flynn in tn air,
it was a sight to make ivry English
man proud iv tn fact that he had to
be an Englishman. Determination was
written in ivry face-th determination
to go on at amy risk till tea time No
tiinchin no hesitation, ivry man with
his head erect an tn feelin' in his
heart that on him rested tn security
iv tn Umpire if so. On, an liver on they
marched, firm Spimfontein, past tn
gleamin' spires iv Wa-aberneck, till
they saw in tn distance tn long, low
line iv purple light that marked tn
walls iv Boobenasteofein. 1t was thin
four O'Clock, p. M, an tn column halt
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30
Denuded by Lightning.
From the Cincinnati Enquire

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
Marion, Ind, March 1S.-W. w. Reea'
a wealthy land owner and oil operator
was walking along a public highWdy
about eight miles northeast OF hei'
yesterday evening when a severe stoi =,
was passing over. He was carrylns
an umbrella, which was struck Dy .
bolt of lightning and torn to pleCg@di
His clothing was torn into ribbons a-S5
scattered about the road. He was t ,9lian
short time later in a nude conale.v@
and thought to be dead. He was co,
ried into a neighboring farmho Us,
where he recovered, and does not sss 80
to suffer any bad effects from N'-
strange experience
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

1t asst what was tn use iv this costly
hanover if they was as NANNY GIN
rails loft afther it as befure. While in
this mood, it was illicthryf1ed be a
peice iv startlin' intelligence. TIL whis-
per ran round, grew to be a murmur,
increased to roar. mounted to a
.iek that Mechoon was captured.
ut seemed too good TO be thrue. No
wan cud believe it at first But fin
lily it was officially announced in
Parlymint be that hot headed OIL
p1thrite, Lord Salsberry himsilf. In a
voice choked be emotion he arose an
give three cheers. Afther which he
read Gin'ra1 Kitchener's dispatch: L
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30
MODERN FABLESE
BY GEORGE ABE. str rA~ -

Another British victhry." said Mr.
Dooley.
Il thought twas defeat" said Mr.
Hennessey.
How dye figure that out?" asked
Mr.. Dooley. Why, they lost wan iv
their gin'rals an near a thousan' men
Twas a gloryous victhry. TIL surrin-
dher of Lord Mechoon is wan iv tn
mos SUCCESSFUL feats iv British arms
since this crool war begun.
up to this time they've niver gained
amy important advantage. They've
surrindhered ninety or hundred thou
san private sojery, thirty OF forty
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

ing conducted by the ex-bank burglar
Shang Draper. In all, Adams has De
tween 200 and 300 gambling estaplsh-
ments in the city of New York, ana %
worth millions-yet stands as close IL
the prison gate to-day as any man
ever did. His enemies, the reformers'
say they have got him at last but II
is going to be a fight, because no man
who knows Al Adams doubts tna,'
close listed as he is, he will sDenu q
million to save his own skin.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30


sby
hby
use cosmetics but these artificial and false skins only last for
beauty
OF the SKIN cannot be permanently restored by the external
boodtb
must be antdted and eliminated before the to
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30
BAD BLOOD
Tells !

You have the most convincing evidence of this
fact every day Otherwise beautiful faces marred with
black heads botches and pimpes muddy sallow
plexions and red rough oily skins are some of the
most common and couSnic11nrs bod h1d
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

The Modern Fable of the Club Mem
Der Who Had no Theories to Offer.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30

Under the purifying and tonic effects of S. S. S.
all impurities are expelled from the blood the
general health is invigorated and all disfguring
and annoying eruptions promptly and perma-
nently disappear from the skin, and it becomes as
soft and smooth as ever
Bad blood tells in many other ways Itch
ing and burning eruptons, rashes and sores, boi1s
and carbuncles show the presence of some irrita-
ting poison or unhealthy matter in the blood, and
these aggravatng troubles will continue until the
weak and slow circulation has been quickened
and the deteriorated blood made rich and strong
again. Some are born with bad blood, and it beg
sore eyes, scalp diseases, nasal catarrh, sunted 81
are some of the early manifestations of bad BIZ
neglected, may develop into some deep-seated ane
the timely use of S. S. S. will check the disease
L. Il - Il
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-30
HER BEAUTY RESTORED.

When my daughter was three months old Eczaro.
broke out her head and continued to spread un+r
her head was entirely covered. She was treated bv
several good DOCTORS but worse, and the dread
full disease spread to her face She taken to to
celebrated health springs, but received no benefit
Many patent medicines were taken, but resu
until we decided to try s. 8. s., and by time thu
first bottle finished, her head began to heal
dozen bottles cured her completely left her skin
perfectly smooth. She is twenty years old and
has a magnificent growth hair. Not a sign oF en-
dreadful disease has returned
h. T. sHoBE.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
PURE MILK SUPPLY.
Upon 1t, Say Sanitary Authorities
Depends the Health of Entire
Communities.

In nothing that is bought for human
food is the necessity of cleanliness and
purity more manifest than in milk.
Meats and vegetables are for the most
part thoroughly cooked before they
are eaten, fruits are peeled and nuts
are shelled; but milk is more or less
injured in flavor and in nutritive prop
critics by boiling, and has no protec-
tive cover to keep it clean. 1t is there
fore essential for the consumer to
know the history of the milk he gets.
In view of the Importance of this
question the provider for the family
should if possible himself inspect
the dairy his milk comes from.
and should satisfy himself that
perfect cleanliness is the rule
in every stage. The COW barn
should be well ventilated and sunny,
the COWS should be healthy and clean,
the mixer should have well-washed
hands, and the udder should be washed
before each milking.
In many dairies and farms all these
essentials are now strictly observed
and if the milk is then bottled at once
and the bottle is kept sealed until de-
livered, one may feel reasonably GER
tain that the milk is fit to drink. Ii
this certainty is denied one, especially
if there are young children in the
family, the only recourse is steriliza-
ton. Boiling for few minutes will
kill all germs, but at the same time il
kills the milk, which becomes a diff
ferent fluid and, as many physicians
believe, less nutritive than raw milk.
Another and less Objectionable pro-
cess is what is called ''Pasteurization,'
by which is meant keeping the milk at
a temperature of about no degrees
for 20 minutes, but never letting it
come to boil.
Either boiling or Pasteurization will
destroy the germs which cause acid
fermentation or putreaction, as well
as the germs of tuberculosis; but if
these changes have occurred, boiling
will not annihilate the poisonous prod.
ucts already formed; it will not make
bad milk good.
The addition of any of the various
representatives." to milk is only an ex-
change of one poison for another, and
should be ondemned.-Youth's Com.
Dc MON.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
4 Noted Knight TempIar
Owes His Health to PeTuna.

Colonel 7. p Moody, a prominent
Knight Templar, is well known in every
city in the United States west of Buff
falo, n. Y, as a jewelers. Auctioneer.
In the city of Chicago as prominent
lodge man, being a member of the K.
IT'S and also of the Masons. The cut
shows Colonel Moody in the costume
of the Oriental Consistory Masons,
s2nd degree.
In recent letter from 5000 Mich
igan avenue, Chicago, H., Mr.. Moody
says the following:
"For over twenty-five years I
suffered from catarrh, and for
over ten years I suffered from
catarrE Ofthe stomach terribly
"LhaYe taken all kinds of medi-
cines and have been treated by
all kinds of doctors, as thousands
of my acquaintaHceS are aware
indifferent parts of the United
States, where I have Travelled, but
my relief was only temporary,
until a little over a year ago /
started to take Peruna, and at the
present time am better than I
have been for twenty years.
trT'he soreness has left my StOm-
ach entirely and / am free from
Indigestion and dyspepsia and will
say to all who are troubled with
catarrh or stomach trouble of any
Kind, don't put 1t off and suffer,
but begin to take Peruna right
away, and keep it up until you
are cured, as you surely will be II
you perSeVere.
''My wife, as many in the southwest
can say, was troubled with a bad
cough and bronchial trouble, and doc
tors all over the country gave her up
to die, as they could do nothing more
for her. She began taking Peruna with
the result that she is better now than
she has been in years, and her cough
has almost left her entirely, The sore
ness has left her lungs and she is as
well as she ever was in her life, with
thanks, as she says, to Peruna. Yours
very truly, T. P Moody
Catarrh IN Its various forms is rapid
ly becoming a general curse. An un-
doubted remedy has been discovered
by DR.. Hartman. This remedy has
been thoroughly tested during the
past forty years. Prominent men have
come to know Of its virtues, and are
making public utterances on the sub
ject. To save the country we must
save the people. To save the people we
must protect them from disease. The
disease that is at once the most preva.
lent and stubborn of cure is catarrh.
If one were to make list of the diff.
ferent names that have been applied
to catarrh in different locations and
organs, the result would be astUnish.
ing. We have often published a partial
list of these names, and the surprise
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
s SR'1I :1I.ISAIIzz4as.
SJS=S<o S~-ao-
DEHoRNING CATTLE.
How to Construct a Cage in Which
the Operation Can BE Performed
Without Trouble.

In response to inquiry the National
Stockman republishes the subjoined
description of dehorning cage:
Dimensions, feet long, 8 feet high,
Sh feet wide at top in front and 41s
feet wide at top at back end; bottom
or foot board foot wide, with seven
cleats 11s inch thick, foot long,
nailed across it to keep cattle from
slipping; footboard inches thick
and rests on three 2 by cross-pieces
feet long. To these are bolted up
right pieces feet long, 2 by inches,
for nailers for sides of cage. Across
the top cage are used two strips l by
inches for each set of uprights,
bolted one on each side of upright
The inside OF this frame is boarded
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
Cabinet MiniSters Come high.

A cabinet officer who not very long ago
retired to private life started to build up
anew his law practice A corporation case
was sent to him by brother lawyer. Meet
ing that lawyer later, the ex-cabinet minis
Ter asked what he ought to charge.
"WhOt did you think of charging asked
his friend.
"Wen," the reply was, ''I thought thou
sand dollars would be about right"
my dear fellow" the other lawyer re-
sponded, eff you do that you will never get
another case. Ex-cabinet ministers are
luxury, if they are worth anything. Send a
bill for $1,000 retaining fee and you will get
4 check tomorrow. Then adjust your regu'
lar charges at your leisure.
The thing was done, with the result pre-
dicted 1t is said that the gentleman in
question made in a month as much as the
sum of his salary during his entire official
term.-N. Y. Post
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05

up with inch plank of convenient
widths. The lower 21a feet should
close enough to prevent animals put
ting their feet through the cracks.
On left side, 3Hs feet from bottom,
should be used a board a foot wide
and a foot longer than the cage. In
this bore two-inch holes four inches
from sides of board. Through these
put piece of rope and tie on outside.
This loop is put over the animals
nose and drawn tight by the use OF
hand spike. An upright lever is
used to catch the back of the head
and draw it to the left side of the
cage. This upright should be a
strong by inch, long, bolted to
bottom crosspiece that holds the
tops of the two front uprights in
place. This lever is thrown to the
right when open for the animal to
enter. As soon as the head passes it
is pushed to the left side and
fastened as tight as required by a
small iron pin slipped through the
crosspiece at top back of it.
As soon as the head is fastened a
handspike is slipped through the
cage back of the animal and another
over the neck to hold the head down.
These remain in place usually with
out holding, the operator standing in
front while taking off the horns. The
smallest animal having horns up to
q bull weighing 1880 pounds has been
dehorned in this sized cage. Animals
weighing up to 1000 pounds pass
right through the cage when the
holding lever is thrown back against
the right side. Cows heavy with cali
and larger animals back out of the
cape
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
VALUABLE INFORMATION.

Oklahoma has 10000 children In
schools, according to the latest esti-
mate.
1t is said that Russian engineers
have submitted plans to Charles T.
Yerkes for an electric railroad from
St. Petersburg to Moscow.
A painting by Constantine Troyon
was sold last month at Christies, Lon
don, for $4,000. 1t is picture of cats
tie and sheep, from the William War
ing collection, and was bought from
the artist for not more than $500.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
Colonel I. P. Moody, Of Chicago, Had
Catarrh Twenty-Five Years and
Was Cur d by Peruna.

caused by the first publication of it to
all people, both professional and non
professional, was amusing. And yet
we have never enumerated all of the
diseases which are classed as ca.
tarrh. 1t must be confessed, however,
to see even this partial list drawn up
in battle array is rather appalling. If
the reader desires to see this list, to.
gether with short exposition of each
one, send for our free catarrh book.
Address The Peruna Medicine Co., Co.
lumbus, Ohio.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
Kicks and Flntn.

Herr Meyer Lutz tells the following story:
Conducting once in Bradford, noticed that
the clarinet player, young but clever and
steady lad, jumped up a good deal during
the progress of the opera. found that his
father, who played the trombone, sat just
behind him, and every now and then he
gave his son kick, with the remark: Look
out, Sammy! there be fiat a-cummin. p
Mainly About People.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
PrnncrIv Placed.

The head OF wel-known shipping firm
in this country received letter from mil
lionaire Swiss banker asking him to try to
help his son get job in some mercantile OF
shipping house, to learn the business. The
shipping firm head shortly wrote back to the
doting parent:
Dear Sir: Your son has arrived. l have
given him employment at my Offices at five
dollars a week with others of his class. One
of these young men has just bought $50 GOO
yacht and another comes to the Office in an
$4,000 automobile. l think your son will
find his surroundings congenial. IN. Z.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
oubo,. Tirst President.

Although it has been stated that the Gu
bans are incapable of governing themselves,
vet they have selected their first president,
who is a great favorite with the people. A
favorite medicine with the American people
is Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, because It IS
an ideal remedy tol headache, indigest On
dvsnensia. constipation and biliousness. 1t
Is also an excellent medicine for spring fever,
la grippe and malaria Don't fail to try 1t,
but be sure to get the genuine.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05

Hyde Park has q Mrs. Malapropr
who. when told the other day that an
old gentleman to whom abe had just
been introduced was an epicure, said:
"Well, he looks like he had one foot
in the grave, but I'd a never took him
for a poem on tombstone. ."-Chicagc
Record Herald.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
snnnI.Inr Of Gnntn.

Johnny-When does, nanny's voice
change"
Ma-There's no change in goat"
Pa-Not even scent?-Chicago Daily
News
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05

My, what lot of booksw exclaimed
Miss Gossype. docs your husband read
much?" NO. answered Mrs. Cad He
buys expensive books, and he's so busy
working to pay for them that he doesn't
have time to read. PHILADELPHIA Record.
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05

Il see a crank out west announces his
invention of "a theater hat for ladies that
will shut up when the curtain rises. "If
he'd only invent box party that would do
that he'd deserve a medal. ."-Philadelp
Press
Woodville Republican., 1902-04-05
Rather Personal.

"This bread is stale and the eggs are old
enough to vote" said the youth in the red
vest. Haven't you anything fresh in this
store"
"Yes-freah cuvtomers," responded the
srocer's daughter.-Chicago Daily News.