Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-11-28


er3hip hunting, committee
Craftsmanship hunting and 9th
er species Of hunting. There
really appears to be a considerable prob
ability of an extra session in March to
revise the tariff" so it is given out, but
in all human probability it will, If ever
called, end in splitting the G. o. P.
wide open as watermelon. Ii they
i. e., the Republicans-really wish to
revise the tariff, they can do it at the
coming short session. Babcock Of Wis
consin gives it out that there will be
an extra session, and it is limited that
IBab's grand stand play for "Uncle
Joe" Cannon means that Babcock is to
be chairman of the committee on ways
and means, but Mr.. Dalzell intimates
that Babcock is talking through his
hat, etc.
Kansas Election Laws.
have been out in Kansas recently
on lecture tour, and the state of
things political out there positively beg
gars description. The Republicans are
always yawping great yawp-to bor-
row an expression from Walt Whit
man-abeHt the great villainy and in
durable inhumanity OF Democrats down
south DISTINGUISHING the negfees: New
ertheless right in Bleeding Kansas,
where old John Browns soul still goes
marching on, they have ballot law
that is greater outrage and swindle
than any perpetrated by Democrats,
southern OF Northern, eastern or west
ern, since the world began; Without
that law the Kansas delegation ap the
next house would have been entirely
fusion instead of entirely Republican.
Verify. verify, very much depends on
whose OK is cereal
The Prize Ass.
1t can be said with absolute GER
tainty that the breed of fools is not ex-
tinct since Peter Arlund of Louisville,
KY, still lives-Peter Arlund, whose
description persona, according to his
owl. story, is "a soldier lieutenant ma
rine officer of the Danish army, Den
mark" 1t may be safely asserted that
when it comes to idiocy Mr.. Soldier
Lieutenant Marine Officer In the DAN
ish Army of Denmark" Arlund's leads
all the rest, as did that of Abou Ben
Adhem's on q certain celebrated occa-
sion.
Mr.. Arlund assaulted the ex-tobacco
magnate, Moses G. Wetmore, Esq,
sometimes called colonel and famil-
iarly addressed by Ex-Governor Stone
as "Mose," which familiarity has prob
ably been worth q quarter million dol
lars to Stone. The fell deed was done
in the lobby of the Planters House, St.
Louis, where Nose stops permanently
and where Arlund was stopping tenn
porarily. Mr.. Wetmore, Stones be-
loved and profitable Nose, was not
much hurt by the impact with Arlund's
first, just few abrasions of the skin
Of his face about the size Of the Star
plug which Nose for years sold to the
public and then sold to the trust at q
large profit. Wetmore's huge bulk
sRled him. Like the unfortunate
Ffdnt de Beef, of whom good Sir
Water tells us in "Ivanhoe," and like
thief fortunate boiler maker, James ].
Jef3ies, Of whom all current penny q
liners like to write, Nose is man Of
vast proportions, a tremendous taber.
nacle Of flesh and blood and bones.
The reason why the Louisville prize
idiot swatted Nose was the alleged
fact that Nose had insulted an oil.
legged Mrs. Arlund, the alleged wife OF
l <,fH
Ger of the Danish army of Denmark u
BY the way. where the deuce is there
a Danish army except in Denmark?
And there is not much Of one even
there where Hamlet once cut such
fantastic capers before high heaven
and sundry other witnesses.
And Nose, the well beloved Of
Stone and who is supposed to be
Stones "angep' in the senatorial fight,
would not apologize for the alleged
insult" to the alleged wife" of Peter
Arlund. "a soldier marine officer in the
Danish army of Denmark"
Now, it appears that the real Mrs.
Arlund. the genuine Article. was in
Louisville, Ky, sleepin the sleep of
the just, about the hou-or, to be
more exact, the minute-when her be-
loved spouse. Peter. was disfguring
Governor Stones Nose.
But all the foregoing, as cleaned
from the public prints. does not ex.
plain why Arlund is the prize ass OF
this age. Here is the explanation:
Wetmore rushed into print and with
his pen skinned Arlund us badly as
Arlund had skinned Nose in the flesh,
whereupon Arlund, "a soldier marine
in the Danish army of Denmark" sent
Nose challenge to mortal combat
with sword. gun or pistol. Nose has
not been heard from as to the duel
may never be heard from on that sub.
ject.
If Nose accepts that challenge,
which he is not likely to do. being, like
Sir John Falstaff. too broad. he will be
as big fool as Arlund, which is draw.
ing it rather strong.
The laws of Missouri make it a
felony to send a challenge. to carry
one, to accept one or to carry an accept.
ance of one. More than all that the
Missouri statutes make it felony to
lgo out of the state to fight duel
or to fight one in the state-in short
to have anything to do with one. There
is no escape from the penitentiary-e
lcept suicide-provided the prosecut
ing attorney understands his business.
and Joseph w. Folk appears to be well
posted as to his duties. Now, the mys-
terry of the whole performance is this:
Why does this Arlund, who lives in
a citv whore ba con kill n man every