davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
Would Smash the Club.

If members of the "Hay Fever As sociation" would use Dr. Kings new discovery for consumption, the club would go to pieces, for it always cures this malady-and asthma, the kind that baffies the doctors wholly drives from the system. Thousands of once hopeless sufferers from con- sumption, pneumonia, bronchitis owe their lives and health to it. It con quers grip, saves little ones from croup and whooping cough and is positively guaranteed for all throat and lung troubles. soc, S1. Trial bottles free at all druggists.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05

divide profits, or an agreement en- tered into between parties to that effect and to which the Courier editor is not party is bribe-a horrible, illegal bribe. The transaction pro posed by that alleged telegram was just such one exactly as the editor of the Courier pleads guilty to, and he knows it better than any one.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05

physical collapse. The suffering woman drops into a chair and with closed eyes struggles against her weakness. The suffering of this critical period in woman's life often leaves its lasting scars on the mind as well as the body. This time of trial and trouble has been passed in ease and happiness by women who had learned the wonderful value of that woman's medicine, Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. By the use of this remedy
 THE wcHANcE" IS CHANGED
 from a time of distress and misery to . time of comfort and happiness.
 rIt is now two ye; g since first began to use your medicines" writes Mrs. Charles E. Thompson, of Georgetown, Eldorado Co.,, Cal. II first tried the 'Favorite Prescription and found that before I had taken one bottle l was in- proving. When I commenced to take the medicine thought would never live through the change I suffered from all the troubles one could have and live. I had stomach trouble; lived on dry bread and hot water for three months, not being able to keep any food on my stomach had constipation and awful headaches; was bloated at times in the bowels, had pain in the chest and hacking cough, but, thanks to Dr. Pierce l am not troubled any more. I used :he Pellets and the Golden Medical Dis covery' in connection with Favorite Prescription, and find all of them just as Dr. Pierce recommends them to be.
 rSince last October I have travelled over hard, rocky roads in farm wagons, and felt no return of any of my old troubles, and I know that before using Dr. Pierce's medicines could not have stood half of it, as the least jar would have caused aching from head to foot.
 UI most highly recommend all of Dr. Pierce's medicines, and l hope all ladies suffering from female complaint will try Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription"
 The claim made for Dr. Pierce's Fa- vorite Prescription that 1t makes weak women strong and sick women well IS a comprehensive one and covers every form of womanly weakness or sickness which medicine can be expected to cure. sFavorite Prescription establishes reg llarity and dries the offensive drains which weaken women. It quenches the ire of inflammation, heals the gnawing a1cer, and cures the backache and bear
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
Lockiaw From Cobwebs.

Cobwebs put on cut lately gave a woman lockjaw. Millions know that the best thing to put on cut is Bucklin's Arnica Salve, the infallible healer of wounds, ulcers, sores, skin eruptions, Burns scalds and piles. It cures or no pay. Only 25c. at all druggists.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
Surgeons Knife not Needed.

Surgery is no longer needed to cure piles. DeWit's Witch Hazel Salve cures such cases at once, removing the necessity for dangerous, painful and expensive operations. For scalds, cuts burns, wounds, bruises, sores and skin diseases it is unequaled Beware of counterfeit. w. W. Ross, Brisley Drug Go. and Fen s. Hil- lrnfh h
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
THE TURN OF LIFE.
Its Probable Effect on WOman's
 Health and Happiness.

Women look with apprehension upon that time generally known as the e change of life" Observation has shown them that sometimes that change is so far-reaching that it involves both mind and body in suffering. At such time the mirror sometimes shows great changes in the face; changes which mark the pain and suffering which are being endured. Often, too, in these dolorous days there is almost complete
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
Can't Keep It Secret

The splendid work of Dr. Kings New Life Pills is daily coming 10 life. No such grand remedy for liver and bowel troubles was ever known before. Thousands bless them for curing constipation, sick headache, billiousness. nundice and indiges- tion. Try them, 25c. at all druggists.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05

rFOREwARNED-FORE
 That saying has a most forceful appli- cation to matters relating to disease and health To be forewarned against dis ease, to know its cause and its cure, Is to arm the health beforehand against many maladies. Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser is book of forewarn- ing. It teaches how to protect and pre- serve the health. This valuable work, containing 1908 large pages and over 100 illustrations, is sent free on receipt of stamps to pay expense of mailing 0nky. Send 3I one-cent stamps for the cloth-bound volume, or only 2I stamps for the book in paper-covers- Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05

These figures seem to foot up too many years; but everybody knows that a prospector has more lives than a cat. If he didn't he would have been extinct long ago.-Ex.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
Total. 70

Inspired by these figures, the writer, who is a lifelong prospector, Las tried his hand at apportioning the years of the average prospector,
 and finds that during his 70 years of
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1902-03-05
Vital Statistics.

The statistician has been at work again; and this time he has figured out just how the life of the average man of 70 years is employed and di vided. During the entire 70 years tha f,rdinarv nnnrtal snends.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-06-22
RH RHlER0AD
~ -. NOTES
BY Chester E. Yhyte

Engine No. for the Saline River
railroad passed through the city ove1
the Cotton Belt for Stamps.
The Brotherhood of Locomotive Ell
! gineers and the ladies auxiliary o1
the same lodge had a joint meeting
Saturday night
Mr.. j. B. Clark, formerly brakeman
for the Cotton Belt, has gone to Mem
phis, where he will accept simila.
position.
Switchman A. J. CHM was off two
days last week on account of the hot
weather.
Mr.. Aslelgh Harleston, roadmaster
clerk of the Cotton Belt, spent a part
OF last week at LeWisvile.
MI G. N. Nolan, S. S. foreman,
south Of Pine Bluff, has resigned.
Mr.. VIM. Sheridan, from Mt Pleasant,
IL.
}. w. Barnett, assistant roadmaster
at Jonesboro. has resigned.
The Cotton Belt ran a large eXcur-
sion to Stamps on account of eman-
cipation day
Inc following runs are vacant for
hremen: Trains 1 and 2, between
Jonesboro and Bismarck, with Engi-
neer Henderson; freight run on north
end, with Engineer Dixon; freight run
on south end, with Engineer Garfield:
locals 35 and SO, with Sunday lay-oyer
at Camden.
Engineers Hudson, W. B. Yauch.
word, Hosler, Dempsey, Goodale, Mid
lam, Tague and Dalrymple are on the
extra board
Engineer W. B. Williamson has re-
ported for work, after being off for
few days.
Engineers Cargill, Runners. Ken
ward and Garfield are on the sick
list
Firemen Mackedron, Mcdonald
Grant DarouX, Barber and Holland are
on the extra board.
Engineer G. J. Merrill has been as
signed to work train formerly held nv
]. l.. Turner
The following firemen are on the
sick list: Fuller, Redding, Mcdonald,
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-06-22

1t has come to pass that the public
looks forward to and reads advertise
ments with interest and profit. A.
Mcdonald, Jordan. Marsh & Co.. Bost'
ON.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-06-22
General Offices liz Pine St..

if
has
life
Dues
between all
Active
ved
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-06-22

The reader of newspaper cannot
read his paper without involuntarily
reading part Of the advertisements.
Nathaniel c. Fowler. Jr., Boston.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-06-22
Clarence E. TAYLOR,
BROKER.
Cotton, Grain, Provisions
and Stocks.
PINE BLUFF, ARK.

Member N. Y. Cotton Exchange. N. o
cation Exchange and Chicago Board OF
Trade. Long Distance Phone In Office.
omces: Pine Blur, Texarkana. Hope:
and Clarksv,lle. Texas
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
IN HOUSECLEANlNG TIME.

"A ZEN may talk of their strenuous life
TIE BUTTS nothing to that of the wife
Ava Who with soap, brush and
broom,
Charges through every room,
Everywhere against dirt waging strife.
IT'S a season of struggles and woes
When from attic to cellar she goes,
Making every place clean
Till no dirt can be seen
And not even small dust speck shows
From the carpets she hustles the tacks
Down come curtains and pictures and
racks;
Then at walls she will rush
With a long handled brush,
Chasing dust from all corners and cracks
There are floors she must patiently scrub
There are windows to wash and to rub;
Down the stairs on her knees
She will go by degrees,
Using water on them by the tub.
When the rooms have been all purified,
To the cellar she bravely will stride;
There with brush in her hand
She will make bold stand
Till the whitewaSh to walls is APPLIED.
Thus from rising to setting Of sun,
Till the task of housekeeping is done.
Goes the vigilant wife
In her strenuous life
And is happy DER triumph thus won.
But the man who so greatly is blessed
With wife of such vigor possessed
Makes the bluff he must work,
Yet he's playing the shirk
And is out somewhere taking a rest.
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
On the Other Foot.

"There was a time" said the drum
mer as the talk turned on circuses-
''there was a time when 1 had case
Of conscience over the ticket seller at a
circus walked up to the wagon and
gave him a twenty dollar bill, and
plainly saw him count me out $24.5O in
return. 1 grabbed the wad and started
off with my heart in my throat, and l
was thinking of the dinner I'd have
on that 81 when my conscience be-
gan to upbraid me. I tried to stif1e
that still small voice, but couldn't do
it, and after quarter of an hour l de-
cided to go back and return the poor
fellow the overplus. I thought l might
as we'll count the money over, however,
and I did,
"And perhaps he had paid you even
$14 too much?" queried one of the anx-
ious listeners.
mo, he hadn't" dryly replied the
drummer.
"Was it just SAP
"NO."
'"Then how much?'
s'He had coolly and deliberately beat
en- me out Of four and when told him
of it he jumped down from the wagon
and knocked my head off,"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05

"Cobbler, it vhas like I suspected
you vhas fraud-und you shall hat no
work from my family. How dare you
put oop some signs like dot oafer your
door? Nopody but a villain would Go
dot
She goes oudt, und I belief she speaks
to dot fat policemans on der corner,
for in a leetle time he comes in und
says:
$50 you vhas playing some more lit
tie games, vhas you?"
at vhas no games" I says.
"Vhat! Don't you call it some games
to make out dot you vhas Shake
speare? L guess you find out how it
vhas poorly queek."
s'But / don't say vhas Shakespeare.
Dot sign says l vhas Shakespearean
cobbler shop"
cit vhas all der same, und der idea
vhas to swindler der pooblic. You
know ash Well ash I do DOT Shake
speare vhas killed at Bunker Hill, but
you like to make out dot he runs dis
shop"
"Do 1? Do I? Why, you old bald
headed Dootchmans, do you mean to
insult me to my face? OF course
know who he vhas."
"But he don't be killed at Bunker
Hill"
'He don't, Ell? Dot vhas more sass.
You belief you know more ash po-
licemans, do you? You belief you can
learn me my peesness? We shall see
about dot. BY George, but it vhas
time let you understand few t'ings!'
Und dot policemans slams me around
my shop till 1 falls down und don't
know if it vhas time to pay my taxes,
und When l wakes oop dot plumber
vhas rubbing my nose NIT a SNOWFALL.
'Vhell, you see how it vhas," says
to him.
"Yes, see." he says, nit tears in his
eyes,
''Und Why do you tell me about
Shakespeare"
'Forgife me, Hans. I vhas mistook.
All der time l vhas telling you about
Shakespeare / meant dot you should
be Washingtonian cobbler shop but
I vhas mixed oop. Come back to life
again, und you shall be Washingtonian
und make hatful of money in one
little weekw M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05

OF bein' buried under a millyon tons or
dirt and rockY
Reckon I am
and won't nuthin' move yo'?
Nuthin' but that yere landslide
which my ole man says hain't a-cumin'.
GoodBy, Zeb. Better be gwine.'
YO' are sot, ole woman SEE [, and
yo' are fule to boot, but can't leave
yo' to perish. Up yo' git and cum
along
But it was no use. When l tried to
lift her up, she bit and kicked and
wouldn't be budged. / was powerfully
skeert, and I knowed the ole woman
couldn't be unsOt of her sotness. / got
the clock and the feather bed and
rushed up the road to the bend, and |
hadn't only jest slowed around when
the mounting moved 1t was sight
to lift yo'r heels, all that rock and dirt
and trees and bushes rushin' down,
and the ole woman sOt on the stone as
stiff as a poker and waited fur it to
reach her. 1t was rollin' right over her
when closed my eyes and sunk down.
When ! cum to, everything was hurry
burly-wife gone, cabin gone, land bur-
led out Of sight.
"Mebbe yo' can imagine my feel
ms" said the old man as he stopped
to knock the ashes out Of his pipe and
scratch his leg 81 kinder tainted and
fell down; then 1 sot up and cried;
then stood up and cussed. Reckon |
was crazy fur bout an hour. | was
sittin' down and weepin' and groanln'
when l heard step and looked up to
find my ole woman not ten feet away
Her clothes was leetle dusty, and
thar was leetle blood on one ear, but
she was mighty peart as she SEE to me,
seq she:
stranger, yo' mought be acquaint-
ed round these yere parts!
"'Slightly, marm-slightly,' SEE |.
"'Do yo' happen to know family
hunter arter possums?
81 do, marm.'
Scot a fule in the family, I'm told
"'Yes, marin, he has,
"Which is it-Zeb or his wife?
cts Zeb marin, and dod rot his
ole skin if l don't lick him to squash
the fust time l meets him. Come up
yere and be Rugged and kissed and
bless the Lawd that hain't widow
er as we'll as fule.'"
"And she had escaped" queried.
stranger, the hand Of the Lawd was
in it. She was carried a distance Of
fifty feet and slowed into ditch with
two logs across it. When the stuff quit
fallin, she was buried ten feet deep,
but she got out between two rocks and
cum walkin' up to me as calm as a
mewl gwine to water"
Sand since them
ooh, thar hain't bin no quarrelin' as
to which is the fule in the family"
laughed Zeb as he rose up for more
tobacco M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
Like Cures Like.

''Poor manw sighed the lady reform.
er as she peered through the bars at
the miserable convict Poor man! II
must be hard to be deprived of light
and flowers and birds and human com
panionship.'
at is, lady; it is" moaned the pris
oner.
II believe" mused the lady, 'that
shall marry you to reform you"
Here the convict laughed heartily for
some moments.
Pardon me, madam" he said as soon
as he found his voice. pardon this
impolite hilarity, but / am in here fol-
bigamy."-Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
The ProDer Adjective.

Miss Mobile-Well, Martha, how is
your husband now?
Martha-Po'ly. miss, poly. He's got
that explanatory rheumatism.
Miss Mobile-You mean indammatory
rheumatism, Martha. Explanatory is
to cry out.
Martha with solemn conviction)-
That's it, mum, that's it! He don't do
nothing but holler.-Christian Register.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
Spring Fever.

would be no sluggard.
Cause sluggard has to sleep,
And slumberin' allus filled me
With aversion strong and deep;
Cause / likes to feel the sunlight,
And 1 likes the starlight, too.
And I likes to watch the seasons,
Without nothin' else to do.
So when I'm good and lazy,
What a waste Of time * seems
To shet my eyes, unconscious,
And go driftin' into dreams!
But jes' a half way doZin'
Is enough to stop the light,
And you knows that you're a-loaf1n'
And a-doin' of it right.
Washington Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05

When you wake up with a bad taste
in your mouth 60 at once to Benefits
drug store and get free sample OF
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver tab
lets. One or two doses will make
you well. They also cure sick head
ache, billiousness and sick headache.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
Old Soldiers Experience.

M. M. Austin, civil war veteran
of Winchester, Ind, writes: "My wife
was sick long time in spite of good
DOCTORS treatment but was wholly
cured by DR.. Kings New Life Pills
which worked wonders for her health.
They always do. Try them. Only
25cts at Benefits drug store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05

your heels und be in mid der SWIM
Hans, / belief it makes you rich man
in one year..
Dot plumber vhas sharp man who
charges for two pounds of solder when
he puts a washer on der sink pipe, und
so / belief his advice vhas good. /
make a sign dot / vhas some Shake
spearean cobbler shop, nit repairs at
der lowest cash price, und he vhas
pasted oop before / go to bed. l don't
get my breakfast eaten next morning
before a man comes und says:
Glow vhas dis about Shakespeare"
"He vhus all right" l says.
"But has he got something's to do NIT
dis shop?"
mo; of course not How can he hat
something's to do nit a cobbler shop
when he vhas dead?'
Dead, is he? How long since?"
''Ten years, | guess"
"By George, but l don't hear about
dot! Dot makes me feel bad. Poor
Shakespeare! Did he leaf some word
NIT you for me?
mo"
Don't he speak my name = Jim
ShineY'
"No."
dot Was queer. Der last time I. saw
him he says I shall come around next
day und hat drink nit him. 1 go off
to California und don't come back for
ten years, but vhas here now"
''Vhell?
"Vhell, you vhas also Shakespeare's
frendt, und so l go out und drink NIT
you. l vhas lucky to find you. Let us
go at once"
When I tell dot Teller I can't go out
Shakespeare und calls me seven kinds
of liars und bad men. Before he Will
go AWAY he pulls my nose und kicks
my bench oafer, und my wife says
hat made some more mistakes. He
don't be gone fife minutes When Sec
Ond man comes in und calls out:
How you vhas, eh? How Vhas it
init you old man? BY George, but she
vhas good for sore eyes to see you once
more!'
He shakes my hand und pats me on
der back, und When l says l don't re-
member him he illus oop his hands und
eXclaims:
Don't remember me! Don't remem-
Der Tommy Skinner! Why, Shakespeare,
my old pard, we go on foot together
more ash one hoonered times, und you
owe me So borrowed money"
MY name vhas not Shakespeare" I
says.
What! What! You vhas not Shake
speare! Come, now, old man, don't be-
lief l vhas a fool Dot old bald head
of yours yhas as familiar to me as der
city hall. Don't lie to me because you
owe me So"
II don't owe you no So, und neffer
see you before in my life. l vhas
Hans, der cobbler, und like you to
go out You vhas mistook''
"Ha, ha" he says as he shumps
around TT vhas scurvy trick dot
any old chum wouldn't play on me, but
methinks it Will avail him not. Cal
tiff, seize you thus, und l bang you
thus, ind | leave you thus with the
promise to return at an early date und
break your neckv
/ yhas almost dead When he goes out,
und my wife says dot plumber vhas a
fool und / shall take der sign down. I
think | Will, but woman comes in
und says:
"Cobbler, 1 like you to explain before
/ bring my shoes to be fixed. Do you
know something's about Shakespeare
"Of course" l says.
''Who vhas hep
81 don't like to gif him AWAY und
put der police on his track"
"Oh, see. Do you remember some
things he wrote?'
Il do. He writes dot all cats look
alike on a dark night und dot honesty
vhas Ger best policy"
Dot womans laughs for two minutes,
uud den she stands oop und says:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05

Via the North Western Line. Ex-
cursion tickets will be sold June %,
% and "a, with final return limit un-
til Oct. 81, inclusive, account Inter-
national S. S. Convention. Apply to
agents of Chicago & Northwestern
R'y. 13w6
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
A Little Bitter.

ST noticed Miss Giglets at the service
today. and it struck me as very strange
that she never once said amen.
''No. She's such a man hater that she
won't mention the men in any way
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05

copyright, 1902, by c. B. Lewis.1
- NE day as I was sittin' on
my doahstep," began the
w. old possum hunter when
asked for a story, "a stran-
ger come along the road leadin' meWl
1t was Moth Caroleeny mewl, and he
looked like a likely beast. was avon
derin' why the man was leadin' the
mewl instead of ridin' him when he
stopped and said:
"'Tm on my way to the Tennessee
river to jump in and perish, and I'll sell
you this mewl powerful cheap if you
want him.
"'What do you want to perish for?
I said.
"'Bekase I'm alone in the world and
too good for it. / can't stand the wick
edness around me, and / would go
hence and hev harp and golden
wings. This mewl is the last thing I've
got to git rid of, and if you fancy him
he's yo'rs for 500
81 was in want of a mewl jest then"
said Zeb, "and after lookin' the critter
over put down the money. When the
trade had been made, the stranger
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
HANS GETS POINTERS
HIS FRIEND THE PLUMBER TELLS HIM
HOW TO ATTRACT CUSTOM.

The German CobbIer Starts Shake
spearean ShOp-SeveraI Friends of
the Bard of Avon Call on Him and
Greet Him Warmly.
copyright, 1902, by G. B. Lewis.l
"R " ANS" says dot plumber ash
he comes in my shop one day
~ when I hat only one old shoe
to mend, 81 vhas your frendt
und wish you vhell. l vhas come here
to gif you a pointer"
''Vhell, how vhas hep l says.
"You must hat name for your shop
Don't you see how my shop yhas
named der Empire Plumbing und Gas
Fitting Establishment? Ii you don't
haf a name, nopody knows you. If
you hat big name, it vhas draw.
/ belief you should call yourself der
Shakespearean Cobbler shop. You know
about Shakespeare, don't your
"Of course"
''Vhell, you call your shop after him,
und when customers come in you shall
speak something's from his writings.
People Will be surprised und pleased,
und eaferybody Will say: Did you hear
of dot Shakespearean cobbler shop? No?
Den go at once und get some lifts on
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
No IncOnsistencY.

Ding-Miss Bonde is nothing if not
up to date You know she refused
Cholly by wireless biography.
Dong-A woman's no is often yes.
"But this was a 'yesless' no!'-Balti-
more Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
The Doctor.

The Doctor.
Ka t b a rine-
Papa, I'm 60
ing to do some
thing to help
cut down your
heav y family
expenses.
Papa What
is it, daughter !?
K q t b a rine-
Papa, I'm go
ing to marry
our DOCTOR
Brooklyn Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
No Criterion.

Manager-Is he intelligent enough to
take the part?
Assistant-Why. he is intelligent
enough to have written the play.
That's no sign."-Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
For Sale-Short Horn Bull.

have Grade Short Hort bull, ii
months old, for sale. Inquire at my
farm II miles west of North Andover,
Wis, or address David Powers, Cassv
vile, Wis. 13w3 j. M. BURGESS.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-05
One Drawback.

Hix-But you must admit that my in.
tentions are good.
Dix-Oh, your intentions are all right
but your executions are off color.-Chi-
cago News.