Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1902-06-14

AW sor, Representative Calder
head of Kansas leaned over
NV IN his seat in the house and
II confided to Representative
- Lands of Indiana in a stage
whisper, that Mr.. Eugene F. Ware was
to be made pension commissioner.
who in the mischief is Eugene F.
Ware?" inquired Mr.. Lands, blank
expression upon his face.
why, don't you know of Ware; did
you never hear of him?" asked Mr.
Caluerhead in surprise. ITO acknowl-
edge that is to confess ignorance OF
the literature of your country. why
Ware is the celebrated 'Ironquin
why, you don't. mean to tell me
that Ironquill is to be made commits
sioner of pensions, do you?" ex-
claimed Mr.. Lands, this time an ex-
preston on his face which indicated
that he had been familiar with Iron
quill" since boyhood days, but was
surprised to know he had been Sc
lected for the Office named.
After Mr.. Calderhead had left, Mr..
Landis remarked to Representative
Hill, who was sitting beside him:
81 never heard of 1ronquill,' but
didn't intend to give myself away"
Senator Berry came down from the
national capitol in a street car one
afternoon, accompanied by constltu-
ent. The senator paid the car fare.
Senator Cockren was on the car. He
leaned over to Senator Berry and
said:
Don't you know senator, that you
shouldn't waste your money like that?
You shouldn't pay car fare for all
these constituents that come along.
You can't afford it."
And don't you know, senator" re-
piled Senator Berry, that when a
gentleman pays another gentleman's
car fare the other gentleman is in
honor bound to set up the drinks?"
"Crum," said ex-Speaker Reed, who
is in Washington to argue case be-
fore the supreme court, to Represen-
tive CrumpacKer of Indiana, Il under
stand you are hammerlng at my
rules?"
YES" replied Crumpacker, 81 am
taking a hack at them"
"Crum,'' the big ex-speaker said,
reprovingly, who are you that you
should trife with the productions of
genius?"
A man named Johnson was can
didate for a consulship and the Iowa
delegation were backing him for the
place. They finally found vacancy
to which the president promised to ap-
point their candidate. Thereupon MI
Johnson went to the state department
to undergo the usual examination as
to his fitness. He had no trouble I'M
| til he reached the sixth question:
How many Hessians came to the
country to fight for the English?"
Johnson, didn't know, but he did
not propose to be left entirely. This
| is what he wrote for the answer:
"a great many more than ever went
back"
About a month ago a constituent
of Senator Depew came to him to seek
| his influence in getting an office.
You write a letter telling what you
want, and 1 will forward it with my
Endorsement said the senator when
he had heard the mans story.
yesterday the man H0I Tie SOhcl-
tor in the capitol lobby.
You remember telling me to write
you a letter." he said.
20 yes" was Mr.. Depew's reply, as
he cordially grasped the visitor by
the hand. Let me see. You sent me
the letter didn't you, and if 1 remem-
Der rightly 1 Endorsed it strongly.
mo" said the man. II never wrote
the letter. I've been sick
Since the warm weather began there
has been a startling array of brilliant
waistcoats in the senate, when the
| average age of the members of that
body is considered, together with the
somber dignity which they are wont to
sustain. The other day Mr.. Harris OF
Kansas, populist and 81 years old
took his seat and threw his coat open,
revealing a pale-blue creation embel.
lished with old-gold stars embroidered
in silk. Mr.. Allison of Iowa, the same
day, wore a yellow waistcoat Of such
a brilliant hue that it would feaze the
ordinary young man who had just