davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
THE GREAT JOKE, DEATH.
Funny Side of Dying Often Treated
of In Literature.

Death" said publisher, has beer
treated humorously III our literature
often. Indeed | am quite sure that 1
collection of many thick volumes might
be made under the title Of Deaths
Funny Side Thomas Hood was one
Of our best writers Of this sort Of
verse Don't you remember his ballad
ia the young sailor who died heart
broken over his girls unfaith? The
last stanZa was:
"IIis death, which happened In his berth
At forty odd befell;
They went and told the sexton. and
The sexton tolled the bell.
Hood did another ballad on the sub
ject of a soldier who lost both legs III
battle who was in consequence Tilted
by his sweetheart and who then hung
himself. Now, that is rather tragic is
1t not! 1t has a bizarre but none the
less poignant tragic note. Guy nc
Maupassant indeed once handled Il.
most this same situation, but he han
died it from the opposite viewpoint,
and don't you remember how he mar
rated the first, the crucial, meeting OF
the lovers after Ben Battles double
amputatiOn?
"But when he called on Nellie Gray
She made him quite scoff.
And when she saw his wooden legs
Began to take them off.
"This treatment drove Ben to de-
spair:
$50 round his melancholy neck
A rope he did cntwine
And for the second time in life
Enlisted I'm the line.
"And there he hung till he was dead
As any nail In town:
For, though despair had cut him up,
II could not cut him down.
"There is tremendous literature OF
humorous epitaphs. There must be, |
fancy, 10000 of these, but two of them
are all ] can recall. The first goes:
Here lies the body of mild Maria;
She went one day to start the fire,
But the wood vas green
So she used kerosene.
And now she's where the fuel Is drier
"The other Is grimmer:
Life is lie, and all things show 1t;
thought so once. and now | know IT,
"Then there are songs on the side
splitting aspects of death, some Of
which have caused tender hearted Ia
dies to double up with mlrth. Johnny
Jones and His Sister Sue Is one such
song, and | bet that six people out OF
ten In America know it by heart.
"Yes," the publisher concluded, "un-
der the title Of Deaths Funny Side IN
anthology Of many, many volumes
could be made. The anthology should
be bound in black pigskln. with grin
ming skulls and crossbones fooled In
gold on it" -Philalelphia Record.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
GOOD TYPES OF FRUIT PACKAGES.

GOOD TYPES OF FRUIT PACKAGES.
Il, the popular six basket carrier; O. bushel
basket with Slated cover: g. fve-eighths
Delaware; 4, one-third bushel New York
basket; 5. one-ffth bushel Climax bas-
ket; 6. five-eighths Delaware splint COW
er. OF these the six basket carrier and
Climax types are the most universally
used and very popular In all local mar
kets.]
in our illustration, is quite extensively
used. 1t Is conceded by most growers
that for fruit Of superior quality the
six basket carrier is supreme above all
other packages. In New Jersey. Della
ware, Maryland and West Virginia tue
fve-eighth and onchalf bushel baskets
are quite commonly used. For lower
grades of peaches the seven-eighth
bushel crate or box is very popular.
Few peaches of the Blue Ridge and
Allegheny mountain fruit belts are put
up in smaller baskets. In Michigan
and Missouri the six basket carrier is
largely used for the best grades OF
fruit.
In the western New York peach belt
the one-third bushel basket shown is
very extensively used for local mar
kets without cover. The baskets are
filed rounding full and covered with
tarlatan. They are very incOnvenient
for handling and shipping long dis
tances. These baskets are sold III the
local markets with cover for about $50
per thousand. In some sections the
five eighth bushel basket is covered
with splint oval cover. as shown in
picture. The common fiat Stat cover is
more generally used, hOwever-Ameri.
can Agriculturist.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
Truly u Great Discovery.

Professor Behring OF Berlin an
nounces that he has discovered a proc
ess Of incubation by which young cat
tie may be rendered immune from tu-
berculosis. He states in his book,
which, according to press dispatch, is
soon to be published, that he has sue
ceeded in inoculating cattle with the
virus of human consumption, and the
result later was the death Of the ami
mails His discovery Of the substance
which, being injected under the skin
Of young cattle, renders them immune
is, Professor Behring says, his great
est discovery.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
ScallOned nnnannH.

Bananas are good enough in their or
binary simplicity, but some persons
there are who like bananas made into
a sort of scallop in this way: Cut half
d dozen bananas into half inch slices
Cut some bread into small pieces and
place Il layer OF these in the bottom Of
Il pudding dish. Add Il layer Of ba-
nanas, two tablespoOnfuls Of sugar
and one tablespoonful of lemon juice.
Repeat these layers until all have been
used, having bread as the topmost.
Put over the top tablespoonful OF
melted butter and sprinkle lightly with
sugar. Bake half an hour In quick
oven
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
Man Should Live m Century,

There is no reason why. with proper
food taken according to season, at
proper intervals and in proper guam
tity, men should not live invariably.
accidents excepted. to hundred years
In fact, taking the length of life Of an
imals us criterion, this should be the
length of life In men. The length Of
life Of an animal should be four times
the years 1t takes for 1t to arrive at
maturity. and. rs Il man may be said
to arrive at perfect maturity at the age
Of twenty-five years, so he should on
this hypothesis live to hundred.-Gen-
tlemans Magazine.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
A Picturesque Mountain.

In Surrey county. N. c.. there Is a
mountain whose outline displays a
striking likeness to the sphinx Of
Egypt 1t is in the northwestern part
Of the state. just east Of the Blue
Ridge range. and lies prone upon the
Piedmont plains. At distance Of ten
miles the figure is the exact counter
part Of that Of gigantic lion, its body
1t right angles to the precipitous ridge
and with head reared aloft as if in the
act OF rising,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
Society MOInrS.

Dentist Well. how do the new teeth
work? Everything satisfactory?
Patient Not exactly. They seem to
cut the others
Dentist Naturally. They don't be-
long to the same set. you know.-Chi-
cago News.
PiscatOrial Truthfulness,
"Fish will do singular things" says
4 local contemporary. But nobody ever
heard of a fish lying about the size OF
the man that caught it.-Detroit Free
Press.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
VIRGINIA COLLEGE
For YOUNG LADIES, Roanoke, Vi

For YOUNG LADIES, Roanoke, Va.
Opens Sept. 10, 1902. One ofthe lead
ing Schools for Young Ladies in the
South. New buildings, pianos and equip
ment. Campus 10 acres. Grand mo un.
tain scenery In Valley Of Virginia, famed
for health. European and American
teachers. Full course. Conservatory
advantages in Art, Music and Elocutlon.
Students from 80 States. For catalogue
address MATTE p. HARRIS, President,
Roanoke, Va. july 4 m
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
A Big Georgia Ranch.

A New York corporation has pur-
chased, fenced and stocked partially
a 10000 acre ranch in Lincoln county,
Ga. Only LOO acres are fenced.
The first installment of cattle has been
placed in the fenced pasture. 1t Is
proposed to breed and fatten cattle for
the southern markets.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
The Rockbridge House,

Corner Nelson Street and Jackson Ave
LEXINGTON, VA.
X. q. TEnPLETON, Manager
Meals 25c Table the best the market
affords. Two blocks from the depot,
opposite Ann Smith Academy.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
1z%RlNi&I3!a|:IIl2;|;o;sy
2ssAl.s5st s::SN~N
'&MS:2ssg $5s
FOR HANDLING FRUIT.

Packages of Several Types Popular
In Various Regions.
A study Of the markets in any large
city, New York in particular, shows a
great variety Of fruit packages. The
most popular and satisfactory package
for Strawberries is the thirty-twO
quart carrier, now quite universally
used. Fruit properly ripened, packed
and shipped under favorable condi-
tons usually arrives in these packages
i'm the most distant markets in first
class condition.
The greatest irregularity is seen in
the peach basket. The bulk of fruit
from the south Is packed and shipped
in the six basket carrier one of the
very best and most convenient pack
ages ever placed upon the market, par
ticularly where fruit must be shipped
long distances. Our illustration shows
Il package of this sort. The crate
holds six baskets in two rows with
rest or partition between. The bas-
kets usually contain four quarts. the
entire package containing about five
Fights of q bushel. The crates can be
purchased knocked down" ready to
be put together The baskets are COM
plete and ready for use. The price for
six basket carriers varies somewhat in
different sections of the country. The
average per 100 for carrier and bas-
kets is about $15
In Maryland and Delaware the FIVE
eighth bushel Delaware basket. shown
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
Potato Notes.

Where late planting is practiced 1t Is
usual for potato vines to be killed by
the frost in the fall This usually hap
pens before the tubers have maturcd
If the foliage is destroyed before it has
performed its office. the tubers pro
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
Wanted.

RICHMOND CORPORATION wants
representatives for Rockbrldge and one
or two adjoining counties. Must be OF
best character, energetic, between rs and
As years Of age, and in position to furnish
horse and buggy when necessary.
To man who can show the proper ev-
idence OF ability. a salary Of $500 90 per
month will be given, with guaranteed
increase in proportion to amount Of bust
ness, and in addition an opportunity to
build upa permanent income.
Address, giving age. present and past
occupation and reference.
H, Box 597,
Aug 204t Richmond, Va
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
| Will Offer at Private Sale
THE FOLLOWING
Rea1Estate

2nd. A small farm OF rs ACRES lying
on the Alum Springs road "a miles from
Lexington, has fairly good dwelling
house, with all necessary out-buildings,
nice spring house, and spring OF water
that never fails, nice garden and fruit,
and sufficient timber for the place. The
land il adapted to wheat raising, and fol
fruit. A good situation for blacksmith
shop, and near to mill and church.
10th. A farm 12 miles from Lexington,
six miles from railroad. One mile from
Longwood, convenient to churches, mills,
and schools. Contains $50 acres, 100
cleared, balance in timber unculled
Well wateled by springs Buildings, a
dwelling of rooms, kitchen, cellar, new
grain barn 38x42, stock barn. machine
house, corn crib, buggy house, granary.
harness house. work house, and spring
house Apples, peaches, ounces, 100
large apple trees and 20 young trees.
Title beyond doubt.
18th. 175 acres, 30 acres, river bot
tom, 20 in timber, balance in good state
of cultivation and nearly all set in grass,
800 fruit trees, half of them bearing, 10
room dwelling, stone basement or 1st
story, room house in yard, well Of good
water, good barn, fine for feeding stock,
with new roof; new stable 30x3O, an at
traetive yard. Home beautifully located
on an elevation, in good repair one mile
from roller mill, store, postofflce, school
and depot. Situated on two railroads
Price 1000.
18th. 214 acres near Oak Dale. Good
buildings. Fine saw timber. A No
bearing orchard OF apples and peaches.
In one of the best agricultural sections Of
D.,.o 40 00n 800 kolR oo,k
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
Nav Norfo|k%Wsstsn,
Schedule in effect June 8, 1902.
Leave Buena Vista.

CoNC AoS1ld lStds
NORTHBOUND.
No. 9 10:0lP. NJ. Daily, For Basic. Luray.
Hagerstown and New York. Pull
man sleeper to Philadelphia.
No. 4. 3. IA Pm. Daily For Hagerstown.
Washington, Baltimore, Philadel.
phia, New York and intermediate
stations. Pullman sleeperto New
York via Harrisburg.
SOUTHBOUND.
No. l. 709 A. NJ. Daily. For Roanoke
Bristol, Bluefeld Norton, Win
ston-Salem, WEIGH and intermedi
ate stations. Pullman sleeper
Philadelphia to WEIGH.
No. 3. 2.16 p. NJ. Daily. Fol Roanoke
Bristol, Bluefield, Winston Salem
and intermediate stations and
Knoxville, Cincinnati, Columbus.
Chicago, and points West and
Southwest. Pullman sleeper TO
Knoxville and Roanoke to Colum.
bus.
Additional information and rates cheer.
fully furnished by C. II. Moffett. Ticket
Agent, Buena ista, Va.
NJ. +. BRAGG, Trav. Pass Agent.
W. b. BEyILL, Gen. Pass. Agent
juo Roanoke, "a
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03

Nothing to Laugh At.
writing jokes must he funny way
If making a living"
ut isn't. | have tried it and know
it is no laughing matter. New York
Times.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
JOHN T. MCKEE,
Real Estate Agent,
BUENA VISTA, VA,
Has a number of good Farms in
his hands for sale.
ESTABLISHED 1878.

Farmers who wish to sell will find it
to their interest to call on or write him.
He is advertising outside the county to at
tract purchasers Of Rockbridge farms.
aug 3n.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03

POTATOES OUT FOR SEED.
duced are not Of the best quality. This
Is true whether the vines are destroyed
by the bugs. blight or frost.
We have received many inquiries re-
Gently as to the size Of the seed pieces
which should be planted We can best
answer these questions Ivy some out
line dra wings showing how we would
cut potatoes I'm the first case the pOta.
to Is cut in two pieces; in the second
md third, in three and four respective.
". BY cutting potatoes az indicated we
use about ten bushels of seed per acre
Much of the success with the crop dc.
ponds on starting right. With good
strong growth at the start the battle
Is half won. The other half of the bat.
tie may be won by proper spraying and
tillage, says l.. A. Clinton In Country
Gentleman.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03

No. 80 connects at Lynchburg with
southern Railway North and South.
No. SO connects at Balcony Falls with
No. 9 for Clifton Forge and the West.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03

Train SO connects with Southern r
ia; Strasburg Junction for Harrisonburg
and points on Valley Railroad.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03

OF the American working man Is gen.
orally we'll filled. In some cases It is
too we'll filled. 1t contains too many
kinds Of food, and very often the food is
Of the wrong kind-hard to digest and
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-09-03
c. & 0. Route.

Schedule in Effect July 81, 1902
For Lynchburg and Richmond.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-05
of his execution will be fixed by Gov
ernor Stone.
LIKE TIMOLEON.
President Says Edward Everett Hale i
Loved by All.
fBr Associated Press.l


BOSTON, April Ain a letter to Sen
ator Hoar, expressing regret that he
could not be present at the public re-
ception on the eightieth birthday Of the
Rev. DR.. Edward Everett Hale, in this
city, last evening, President Roosevelt
said:
My Dear Senator Hoar: 1 very earn
estly wish could be at the meeting over
which you are to preside in honor OF the
eightiethy birthday of Edward Everett
hale, A classical allusion or comparison
is always very trite, but L suppose all
Of us who have read the simply classical
books think of Tinloleon in his last days
at Syracuse loved and honored in his
old age by the fellow citizens in whose
service he had spent the strength Of his
best years, as one OF the nobleSt and
most attractive figures in all history. Mr..
Hale is just such a figure now. We love
him and we revere him.. We are
prouder Of our citizenship because he
is our fellow citizen and we feel that his
life and his writings. both alike, spurs.
us steadily to fresh effort toward high
thinking and right living. To have
written 1.-THE Mar Without Country,
by itself would be quite enough to make
all the nation his debtor. I belong to the
innumeraDle army of those who owe him
much and through you I wish him Cod
speed now.
Ever faithfully yours.
(Sisned). THEODORE ROOSEVELT"
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-05

are called to other places, and, While we
rejoice in their advancement, a sense OF
uneasiness comes over us as these sepa-
rations take place Personally. feel ike
a lone landmark of a passing generation
as all those of my first associates, with
one or two exceptions. have gone. we
have come now to offer you little token
of our love and esteem and hope it Will
serve to keep our memory green until we
will no longer need such instruments to
mark the fight of time and will nave
realized the fruition of our hopes ana
meet again in an eternal union.
In presenting you this let me assure you
that our hearts go with it and our best
wishes for your happiness in your future
home and success IN your new field OF
labor.
OF your success we are assured, for we
are witness 'of your ability. energy and
fidelity to the trusts committed to you.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-05
PARTING OF FRIENDS.
Mr.. Lassiter Presented With Watch by
His Associates.

Mr.. c. X. Lassiter, who for more than
twelve years has been connected with the
Richmond Locomotive Works, was pre-
scented with a handsome gold watch yes
terday afternoon by the men OF the shops
who have been his associates during these
years.
The occasion was the departure OF Mr.
1.assiter to accept position with the
Schenectady branch of the American Lo-
connective Works.
The presentation speech was made by
AIR. L. l.. Wood who said:
Mr.. Lassitcr as spokesman Of these
friends here assembled and others who
could not be here who have an interest in
this matter. believe I voice their
united feelings of commingled JOY and
sorrow on this occasion.
We feel deep sorrow as one after ano-
ther Of our beloved associates with whom
Ne have been co-workers for many years
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-05
WANTS THE IINFORMATIAN.
House Requests Letter from Governor
Of Louisiana.
lBx Associated Press.)

WASHINGTON, April 4.-Representa~
tive Sulzer, Of New York. to-day intro
duced in the House the following resolu-
ton:
t'Whereas, the Governor of Louisiana
has reported to the State Department the
existence and operation in the State OF
Louisiana OF a British base OF supplies.
conducted and controlled by British mill
tary officers, whereby horses and mules,
and other supplies, contraband OF war.
are shipped on board military and naval
transports, to the seat of war in South
Africa for the augmentation OF the Brit
ish military forces in South Africa, oper-
ating against the South African Repuo-
lies Of the Orange Free State and the
Transvaal, and
..Whereas, the Governor Of Louisiana
further reports an dsustains his report by
afldavits of American citizens, that the
said British base of supplies has been, ana
is being used to procure by solicitation
fraudulent representation, and unlaWful
means, the enlistment Of said American
citizens in the British army, operating III
South Africa: therefore. be it
Resolved That the Secretary OF STATE
be, and he hereby is, respectfully re-
quested, If not incompatible with public
interest. to transmit to the House OF Rep
resenta tives the said report and COM
munication of the Governor OF Louisiana,
together with all accompanying aftida-
Wits, documents and communications"
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-05
THEY NURDERED
BOER IS0NERS'''
British War Office Makes State
ment il Regard TO Sentence
Of Australian Officers.
(By Associated Press.)

5LONDON,April 4-The War Office this
morning issued an official statement OF
the facts in connection with the case OF
the Aus tralians sentenced for numbering
Boer prisoners, as follows:
..The Bush veldt GARDENERS. who were
recruited in South Africa, but included
other Colonials, were employed IN July
and August in the widest part OF tho
sTransyaal, eighty miles northeast OF ne
tersburg, and took a certain NUMBER Oh
prisoners Crave Irregularities on the
part of certain officers of the corps caIno
to the knowledge of the military autncri-5
ties in October. and an exhaustive 1nVes-
tigation was ordered by Lord kltcneheE.
AS a result of the inquiry five ofhceIs
were tried by court-martia1 at Pleters-
burg in January, 1902, and were found
guilty as principals or accessories ~
twelve murders. Lieutenants Hancock
and Morant wero sentenced to death,
which was carried out. These officers
were also charged with the murder OF
the Rev. c. Hesse.
"Although there was strong suspicion
that they committed the murder the evil
dence was not considered sufficient 70
Justify their conviction. Lieutenant WIZ
ton was found guilty Of murder and was
sentenced to death, but there We're In1tl-
eating circumstances, and the sentence
was commuted to life Imprisonment at
penal servitudc. Lieutenant Picton was
found guilty Of mans1aughter, and was
cashiered. Major Lenahan, commanding
the GARDENERS, who became aware OF
the crimes subsequent to their commit
tai, was convicted Of culpably neglectinS
to report them. and was ordered home
to Australia, his dismissal being unneces-
sary, owing to the disarmament of the
corps.
..No doubt exists as to the guilt of the
accused whose plea, in extenuation. that
a number of their corps were ill-treated
nv .'oers was not, sustained by ! ne
ovid n 1T tbs trial. The sentences wero
sucl ould have been inflicted on any
officer similarly guilty"