davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-03-08

company-A. H. Heber, the president, and H. C. Paulin, vice-president and general manager, are passing d few days in the city. MT. Heber is also president and general manager of the California Development Company, of which company MT. Paulin is one of the presidents. Their visit to this city, however, is to become ac- quainted with the owners and pros pective owners of property in the Im- perial country, particularly the Blue Lake section.
 They say that all the land in the Blue Lake section has been filed upon, and that it is among the best land i'll the country. It is estimated that 20, 900 acres of land in the Imperial sec ton is owned by San Diego people, and that of this amount 13,O00 acres are in the Blue Lake section. It was Government land, and the people have gone in there and made their locations independent of the land and canal company enterprises. Tn order to reach the Imperial lands it has been neces- sary for the canal folks to build their canal close to the Blue Lake neighbor hood. One of the errands of MT. Heber and MT. Paulin to the city and county is to induce local holders of land there to occupy their lands al once any commence to improve them. They have the water to sell, and they think they can show the people that it will be for their interests to buy. They say that if the owners of this land are so disposed, water can be turned on and farming commenced within very few weeks, and that they are willing to meet the land owners half way OH the proposition.
 of the people of the city yesterday and they will meet more today. "I find" said MT. Heber, "that there has been in Inc past feeling among your peo- pie which has been rather antagonis- tic 10 the complete success of the enter prise. We are here to right whatever wrongs may have been done in the past In short, we wish to extend the right hand of fellowship to the people of this city and county. We think that what is for our interest is for theirs. We are satisfied that we have a good thing in all the several sections of the Imperial country, and we are willing, yes anxious, to divide. We have no desire to go forth wIth trump cts, proclaiming our wares. We think that face-to-face meetings with the people who are, or who may be, inter ested will accomplish more lasting good.
 The fact of the matter is, the I'm perial Land Company has dealt largely in promises up 10 the present time. From now on, we will be able to give something more than that. We have water running in the laterals, and can furnish it on short notice. There was never so much inquiry for land in this section as today. It is a fact that had more than 500 inquiries from peo- pie out side of the state. They come from all over the Middle West. Many people are going into the settlements.
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-03-08
For Sale

A bargain in New River water stock and land. If is sandy level soil with little brush and free from alkali 100 acres or less. Being in sections %, 2S and B, T. Is &, k. Is E., $. B. M. Price water stock $16 per share, land $1 25 an acre. LESTER, Copp Bldg, Los Angeles, Cal.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

FortNseven punitive performances
in thirteen minutes-this is the record
bi eaking score made by Professor F.
4. Lille, of Manchester, Conn. Trans
lated into New England vernacular,
this means simply that Professor Lii.
lie has broken all previous spanking
records-his own included. 1t means
that by his recent wholesale chastise.
ment of unruly boys and girls at the
rate of three and eight.thirteenths
spankings per minute, the Nutmeg
State schoolmaster has become the
cit NIPPON spanker of the world.
Pooh! I don't mind Professor Lii
lies spanking one mite" said a tiny,
red checked, curly headed miss in her
strill childish treble. "He thinks he
ticks hard, but II didn't hurt at all.
Az least II didn't hurt us girls. We
went to school that morning prepar
ed"
when asked what she meant by go.
ing prepared" the little maid hung
her head. blushed and murmured
shyly:
why. every one Of us girls wore
three or four extra flannel petticoats
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
Teacher Holds Spanking Championship

materially, except that he appeared
when talking to me to be perfectly
Innocent OF the ruse played upon him
Professor Lille is not, as might be
supposed, an old fashioned demagogue.
He is the principal of the Manches
ter Public Schools. which are eight In
number accommodating Ave hundred
pupils and employing twelve teach.
ers. He has occupied his present po.
sii.on for nine years. coming to Man.
chester from Middle Haddam. where
he distinguished himself in like man
ner while principal of the public
schools i'm that city.
He looks like man who couldn't
hurt n spider, let alone spank a boy
or girl. however naughty and deserv.
ing Of II.
"Of course did it---spanked forty.
seven of them in not quite thirteen
niputes." he said. and, do you know,
believe could have done 1t in ten.
Deny it, OF course not. did It,
and I'm willing always to stand by the
things ! do. Besides, the little ras,
calls all deserved 1t. and have the
support of their parents
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

that morning"
But you all screamed and cried"
II was insisted
"Oh. well, we have to do that to
TOOL Professor Lille. He's foxy. My,
but he's foxy duck And If we hadn't
made believe to cry he'd have sus.
rected something wrong and then he'd
have given us something to make US
howl in earnest.
"Never touched mel" declared one
Of the ringleaders Of the boys when !
questioned him. Never touched me!
Never touched any of us! He had his
trouble all for nothing. Think we
would go and do fool thing like that
and not wear plenty of pads?'
The urchin winked knowingly.
what did we wear? oh. lots OF
things-all the flannel shirts we had
eDc our football trousers under our
knickerbockers."
That is the version given by the
boys and girls spanked, none of whom
will confess having been the least bit
hurt by the operation.
And now for Professor Eillie's side
u the story. which does not differ
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
WEALTH, POWER AND HAPPINESS

Once upon time there lived king.
and he had three sons. Their names
were James. John and Richard. When
The princes were old enough and
rcGdy to go out into the world and en-.
,er the battle of life the king summon.
I'd them before him.
"My sons" said he. you are about
to enter upon a terrible struggle-the
battle of life. 1t is my will that you
be well equipped and have all that you
desire. My friend. the Wizard Wise.
man, has promised that each of you
shall have his wish. What do you de.
si"e?"
James. the eldest prince, stepped
forward. Tell him | want riches
sold. Give me wealth and | shall go
'olth and conquer the universe"
"You shall have your wish" Then
re turned TO his second son. John,
What do you want?"
Give me power" said John. 81
vent to be a great ruler. Give me
newer, and will bring the nations OF
the earth to my feet"
at shall be as You say" said the
king. Then he turned to his youngest
son. What is your wish. Richard?"
Nor power nor wealth do I want"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

Divorce Colony

The Sioux Falls divorce colony is
growing into quite massive proper
lions. It Is estimated that at the
present time In the neignborhood of
thee hundred females and males, who
lave attachments to them In the shape
If husbands and wives are either in
the city sojOurning or are paying for
room rent here, while enjoying the
Injuries Of the far East. Some OF the
divorces are going on the theory that
so long as they pay room rent and
clam their residence as Sioux Falls,
they are exempt from living here dur
mg the seven months necessary to
got the decree of separation from un.
cCngenlal spouses.
There are all grades, kinds, colors
and degrees Of divorces here; from
the Kind that ale compelled to work
Tor a living in order to make both ends
meet, to the aristOcratic German
Count and prominent citizens of New
l?rk the latter generally preferrlng
to remain in New York to residing
here. Then there Is prominent
coach for famous football team who
is represented in Eastern papers as
Visiting occasionally at Sioux Falls
to look after some patients he has
here.
Among the male Divorces there are
some that certainly need to be Gagged.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

sold the gentle Richard. give me
only the gentle art OF making friends.
Then the brothers went forth into
the world. All that James touched
turned to gold. He became rich be.
yond his widest dreams. but he was
the unhappiest man in the kingdom.
He married, but his young wife left
him because OF his arch cruelty. His
Jnly son grew up a spendthrift and.
after James had dIed-in misery and
the wealth his
father had garnered after many years
Uf effort.
The second son, John, went forth
into the arena and became a mighty
despot. Nations trembled at his nod.
His power was unquestioned, but he
was unloved, and one day his cour.
tiers formed plot and assassinated
him.
Richard" said he. you chose wise,
L.. Wealth Is wonderful and accom-.
plishes much, power is great and
earns a great reward. but the gentle
Grt of making friends brings happi.
ness"
And Richard married a beautiful
princess and they lived happily ever
after
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
Where Nerve
Was a Fine Art

Not many men can stand being
7 dde conspicuous II the attendant
circumstances have in them any ele.
ment of humor. But it didn't Tease
the Handsome Man a bit-he went
through the part allotted to him by the
Leading Lady without so much as the
ticker OF an eyelash. So far as ap.
pearances were concerned, an OBJ.
server could not have told that the
handsome Man knew he was doing
what he did.
The Leading Lady was seated in a
Columbus avenue car. She grlpped a
button on the overcoat of the hand.
some man, who stood Before her, and
Jerked 1t perslstently.
She was very ordinary. elderly
woman. The gentleman who bent
over, in response to her unique sum.
mons, was notIceably well groomed
end distinguished looking.
At first he seemed not to catch what
she had said, for she pointed to the
other side of the car, He turned in.
QLiringly in that direction. Close to
the door, at the feet of another man,
was the glimmer of something White.
With unmoved dignity, the Handsome
Man made his way down the half I'LL.
ed aisle.
The car gave a sudden jerk, at the
Fifty-third street curve, so he had to
grab strap to save his equilibrium.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
The Land of
81 Don't Want To-"

\ little girl was out of sorts,
And so one day she planned
To leave mamma and go into
The 81 don't want to-" land
She thought 'twould be so easy there
To live wiii nausht to do;
She would not have to mind at all,
You see, the whole day through.
And so she went, and for awhile
Twas bright and happy there;
But by and by the lights went out,
And chill was in the ali.
And horrid noises smote her ears,
And II began to rain.
she fed from 81 don't want to" land
And came back home again.
+++<*+t+++t+t++%+++%++++++
When the swaying permitted, he stoop.
ed grasped the white linen gingerly
end arose, rather red Of face, paced
slowly back to the Leading Lady, and,
with a bow restored to her her lost
rossession-her pocket handkerchief.
"Thank you" she vouchsated condo.
scendingly.
you are welcome" he said distinct
ly, then stood nonchalantly aToof,
1t became apparent that they were
rot together, that the woman did not
know him, How did she ever have
the sublime nerve to send that unap.
proachable looking man, lackeywlse,
10 do her bidding? Oh, for the beau.
tiful intrepidity of the unlnitiated!
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
GRAVE IN THE SEA

..:.:.as..
Little Alfred was coming from Eng.
land to America, on the great ship ST,
Louis, with his mother.
Alfred YVES quickly becoming the
ret of all on board the ship. His first
acquaintance was an old. old man.
That gentleman would sit. with Al.
fred on his knee, telling tales of his
boyhood days to his very attentive
llatener. The child soon learned to
call him Grandpa"
Twas the day before the great ship
was to land at Hoboken, when Alfred
complained of a sore throat. His
mother took him to the ship doctor,
who, after examining his throat, said
that he had "a touch of pneumonia.
At midnight the steward. on pass
ing Alfred's cabin door, was brighten.
ca BY a scream emerging from the
room. He broke in the door, and what
met his sight-little Alfred lying like
a marble statue on the berth, his moth.
err on the floor in a dead faint. The
steward touched the boy-dead!
That same night little coffin was
lowered down the side of the great
ship, and the kind ocean received II
in its wide arms. A tear, like a dew.
drop, shone in every eye, but Grand.
pa" was the only stranger whose grief
YES unbearable.
BESSIE LEVY.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
Mrs, Hasty's Three
Names In One Day

In the Circuit Court of Lebanon,
Ky, a divorce was granted Mrs. Ella
Yowell from William Vowel, on the
grounds of abandonment, and she was
restored to her maiden name, Ella
Murphy. BY special request of her at,
torneys the decree was entered at
orce and Judge Patterson left the
bench to sign the order Immediately
after it had been signed by the Court
and the parties legally separated,
William Hasty walked from the court
room, where he had been eagerly
watching proceedings, to the Clerks
office and applied to the Clerk for a II,
cense to wed Miss Murphy. It was
granted and the same afternoon Miss
Murphy became Mrs. Hasty. This
might be regarded as Hasty proceed.
ing.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

Why Is II that women have so much
OF confidential nature to communt
cate to one another in whispers in
public? is the question of a curious
man.
1T is particularly noticeable" he
Odds. "in the cars. don't expect
them to discuss their affairs for the
Leneft of other people in the car;
loud talking is quite as bad form as
some other things.
But have noticed, not recently but
for years, that when two women who
know each other touch elbows in q
street car they almost instantly, that
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

women, and I am certain that no WON.
an in street car would be comfort
able If she saw two men communIcat.
mr. in the way have described.
Il am satisfied that this whispering
IN public is a habit. just as II is hab.
IL for most women to giggle and laugh
every time they meet. am a lover OF
hearty laugh-it denotes a healthy
liver and indicates home livlng-but
have noticed that laughter between
men in public is an exception, while
With women 1t is the rule. Are WON
en- happier than men. or is laughter
with them mechanically"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
WOMEN WHO WHISPER

=. : !. : |. : !. : |. : !. : /. : /. -. :
is as soon as they can get at It, begin
whispering. This is nearly always &C.
companied by giggles, single and
double.
How seldom 1t is that you see men
whispering. have seen two women
chat on a street corner. forty feet
away from any other person, and then
as they were about to separate, whis
per in the most confidential way and
then giggle.
81 beg to insist that this criticism,
II 1t may be so called. is not idle GU.
r,osity. No gentleman would willing
ly overhear a conversation between
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

There was a very funny girl
Whose name was Lily White.
Her face was black as ebony
Or black cats in the night.
Here's Brownie Black, whose face is
white
How names do disagree!
They ought to be all changed about
Until they fit, you see.
Horace Seymour Keller.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

The number of gentlemen in Wash
ington who are ready to testify that
DR.. Christmas is a stranger to them
must be a source Of dlsmay to DR.
Christmas.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
FUNNY NAMES FOR FUNNY FOLK
BY HORACE SEYMOUR KELLER.

There was a very funny boy,
Whose name was Tommy Small.
At sixteen years of age the lad
Was over six feet tall.
Joe Long he was another chap
Whose name was very queer.
At fifteen years of age he reached
Just four feet high, my dear.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
music
cabinets

Perhaps you haven't a mu.
sic cabinet, or If you have one,
It doesn't suit. We would
like to see you. II such is the
case.
Some folks have music racks
and stand their music on
edge, which soon has it in a
dilapidated condition. Our
cabinets are the best for
keeping music in order and
preserving 1t.
In oak or mahogany, from
$3.50 upward, to match furni.
ture or piano.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

And now the brewery workmen in
Milwaukee are threatening to quit
work. II is noticeable, however, that
the Froth Blowers union never strikes.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
When The YOungster CrawlS Into Bed

There's a halfsmothered yawn lies
Supposed to be soundly asleep.
chubby fists rub the his
And the fly off in a heap.
little bare feet strike the with a whack;
They like a thoroughbred:
They slide like two icicles back
IS youngster craws my
nj a story please popsie." pleads he.
guT, growing protest make
badly tongueiied to ABC
And my raj a awake.
growing and snarlng don't terrify him.
"Yous bear you? Just growl ahead
I'll be a billy goat-brrr bum blim!"
And half OF
He pitiful bride o a
He snuggles against breast
his for tho a time"
That ushers in all of the
OF the Mother Goose tales the storybook
And the I spin out of head;
when I'm pumped dry, it is Please tell
When the youngster my bed
After stories galore then a iolickng play
With happiness fills his
What fierce, hungry cub has crawled in here?"
oh please tiger don't me up"
Then he roars and he ramps with awful hubbub,
beat my head
His knees poor ribs like a washingboard rub
When the ny bed
So he grappes tight twixt his and egs
And he holds there, GoPged a M
only five minutes Pop" he
But the shopbell won't tarry
But they make my heart light all the day,
Those pictures that n my head
OF the he cut in that rollicking play
When the youngster M bed
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

The Allied Third party demands
scientific currency" What's really
needed is a currency that isn't evasiye,
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

The girl who uses a gold hook when
fishing for compliments needs no bait.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04

1t takes a real genius to originate
new ideas in love making.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
SOME FUNNY DUCKS

II you ever go to Hankow, China.
cont forget to visit the duck farms.
There are great many of them. and
they are really very funny. Hankow
Is built along the river. and the people
live by catching fish and raising
dGcks. Close to the water are the lit
lie sheds in which the ducks sleep at
night. Early each morning the doors
~ these sheds are opened. and the
ducks go out upon the river and
swim about all day. AT sunset the
owner claps his hands and the ducks
rush from all directions and there IL
a most desperate scramble. None OF
them wishes to be the last duck to go
through the door. They have the best
OF reasons, too. for Chinaman sits at
The door with a long bamboo rod In
MS hand and the last duck always gets
4 sharp crack. It Is very funny, too
to see these farmers driving their
dtcks to market. They never walk,
bur ride In the oldest sort of boats
and the ducks swim on before
Should one swim to either side he is
quickly brought into line again by an
mistakable hint from the bamboo
stick which his master always carries.
t**tt+++t<t+t<+++<<<<+++++
1t would undoubtedly be a disagree.
allie experience for them II they
should be riding in the country and
meet some farmer lad who was out
hunting. The farmer lad would be
justified in thinking he saw some new
SPECIES of something and taking
shot at 1t. Then there are the female
Divorces, nearly all of whom are
good looking. Some are quiet and de.
mure sort of individuals, and have
their brothers 30 with them. while
there are others who are trying to
turn the heads OF some of the travel.
ling men and gay members of this city
and are apparently succeeding in FRET.
~ good shape.
The divorce colony as a whole is a
pretty good thing for the merchants
Ct this city. They are all money
srenders and those who have the
coin want the best going. They are
naturally a restless lot, having moth.
ing In particular with which to inter
est themselves during their sojourn
here, and are naturally ready for any,
thing that will pass the time, which
accounts for some of them getting
regulations for being gay.-Sioux
Falls journal.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-05-04
Hawaiian
Hardware
Co., Ltd.

816 Fort Street,
Honolulu, T. H.
Agents For
Haviland Ware
Victor Safe & Lock Co.
Ideal Ready Mixed
Paints.
Pansy Stoves.
Improved Stone Filters.
And the Steel Aermotor.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1902-12-26
IN NAPLES STREEv9.
nl-Assorted Beasts of Burden Abound
Goats and Cows.

nl-Assorted Beasts of Burden Abound
Goats and Cows.
The streets Of Naples present more
curious sights, probably, than do those
of any other civilized city in western
Europe. Most curious of all, perhaps,
Is the street traffic, with ill-assorted
animals and ludicrously matched teams
attached to most grotesque vehicles
and vans, says writer in the Boston
Herald. Recently in the Via di Roma,
which is the main shopping thorough
fare in Naples, I encountered sort
Of dray or wagon drawn by three AMI
mails abreast. A small horse was IN
the center, with a mule on one side
and a COW on the other. Not an OK,
mind you, but COW. Oxen are az
common as mules in Naples, while don
keys are almost as much used rs
norses-the latter, however, very
wretched looking beasts. Next in num-
Der to the horses, donkeys and mules,
are the goats that roam about every
street in Naples at all hours Of the
day. The Neapolitan goat generally
resembles the ordinary red COW in
color although black aQd gray goats
are common, as we'll as red and white
spotted ones that remind me in color OF
an Irish setter. These goats not only
amble through the principal streets OF
Naples in the most unrestrained fash
ion, but they nestle in small Cor large,
as the case may be) groups on the
sidewalk against the buildings and
hang about the entrances to the big
houses in which their owners live.
waiting to- be MIXED. I am told 1t Is
also customary for them to ascend four
or five long flights OF the great STONE
staircases that are built into the Or
binary Neapolitan tenement dwelling
houses, where they also present them
selves to their owners for the purpose
above stated. All this diversified street
tratdc presents an anomalous scene,
especially when in its midst one sees
many handsome carriages and beau
tiful horses, as we'll turned out and
groomed as those in Hyde Park 1tsel:.
That is the ludicrous part OF the scene
the contrast presented by the splen-
did thoroughbreds and smart carriages,
the shaky cabs and their wretched
starved looking horses, the fat donkeys
and ugly mules, the pretty little ponies
so frequently driven in pairs to 4
small yellow phaeton, the ill-assorted
pairs Of all sorts of anirasls. the COW
driven by a herdsman, the goats wan
dering along by themselves-and tho
beggars overstepping them all In num-
Der and noise.