The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-11-23

Maryland Farmer Has a Good Time
at a Show.
Baltimore Sun.

AT a snow.
Baltimore Sun.
Did any one chance to jostle against
young man with rudy countenance and
dusty shoes and with a package under his
arm a few days ago? Does any one re-
member crowding up against him in a
street car or sitting next him in a certain
playhouse? If so let that person now be
devoutly thankful that fragments of him
self are not scattered broadcast over the
surrounding counties. They might be-they
might so easily be!
In fact the wonder Is that there is not
now a large round hole in Baltimore with
eager crowds peering into it to try to dis
cover what had become of the Washington
monument or the City Hall or some other
landmark But the chief wonder is that
the heavens are not now raining down rem
nants of a few thousand tons of playhouse.
But let the tale unfold itself.
1t is true story-absolutely true in every
detail, but for obvious reasons the names
of those interested we'll as the name of
the theater must be kept hidden. Other
wise one of the first results would be that
the young man would be confined to the
farm-or, at least would never be allowed
to set foot in Baltimore again.
A Baltimorean of high moral character
and unimpeachable reputation has modest
farm in Baltimore county, of which he is
very proud. The land is, however, to some
extent rock ribbed, and the owner some
DAYS ago determined to get rid of some of
the largest rocks. Just how to go about it,
however, was what puzzled him, for he is
a city man.
There is a hand on the place who is full
of resource.
use dynamite" he said, confidently.
Don't like to fool with the stuff, was
the reply. TOO dangerous"
"Oh, that's all right" said the farmland
cheerfully There's no danger If you go
about it right. I've used it many time
and amt never been bowed up yet. If
you'll pay for it I'll get it and blow out the
rocks"
The owner of the farm assented. Now
he wakes up at night and feels each indi-
vidual hair on his head rise with the pure
horror of what might have been. He
dreams of being sued for billion dollars
by huge syndicate of property owners,
erty; of being imprisoned for the rest of his
life on countless charges of destroying pub
lie property; of being hanged a thousand
times for cutting short that many blame
less and happy lives.
He gave the hired man the money and
gave him a long and elaborate lecture
about being careful and sent him to Balti-
more. He had some misgivings, but his
was state of bliss compared to what it
would have been had he known the truth.
The hired man is conscientious hired
man. His aim is always the welfare of his
employer. His motto Is ever DUTY before
pleasure although he might add, But
plenty of pleasure after you've done the
duty" He had no sooner got to town
than he made directly for a place where
dynamite Is sold. He bought generously
twentyfour pounds, for there were many
and large rocks-a lot of fuse and some
percussion caps. That was the duty. Next
came the pleasure. The package of con-
centrated humiliation was not a large one,
and could be carried under the arm very
easily. That is where he carried it,
1t was beautiful day and the hired man
was very happy. He had a whole evening
ahead of him, and he determined to make
streets. Had any one Knocked the package
out of his grasp the air would have been
full of humanity and real estate all mixed
up. He rode on various trolley cars and
the seat. The cars bumped along. but
nothing happened Had a stray spark of
electricity come that way-had the ear
collided with another-the question is how
much kindling wood would have remained
after all was over. and how much smaller
a population would the next census show.
The young man entered several places of
refreshment and drank, although abste-
miously. The dynamite was always with
him-but the smiling bartenders did not
kindly Providence decreed that those sa-
| looms are still here. He went to a restaur-
ant and took supper. depositing the bundle
on the floor and placing his feet on 1t. The
Then the young man went to the theater
The and destruction. arm In arm as Il
were. He bought a seat In the gallery and
put the Dynamite under IT, Then he en-
| one Of the most enthusiastic spectators ~
performance had. Whon the hoano roolrnl