The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-29
A JOKE TOO COOP TO TELL.

his dressing room, You're forever going
10 Boston. Why don't you get married
and be done with it?
oh, thatn happen, too. dad" laughed
the handsome young fellow, but /
wouldn't bet that you won't beat me TO
the altar By the way, how is the
Widow"
J. Burlingame Mercer, Sr, was growl-
ing over his high collar. but he finally
gained breath enough TO say: What :
that got 10 do win your going TO Bos-
ton. jacob"
"Oh. nothing. I was just thinking that
the last time I went to Boston was TIL
morning after that burglar got away with
al my ready money"
Is that 50? Well. you ought 70 know
better than TO leave money about the
house, Jacob. Why don't you take ii
with you?"
'Id lose it sure. then. dad. Tonight.
for instance, I'm going with McWhorter
and the Van Zandt boys to-what do you
( think? Just a boxing scrap in the Bow
cry. You wouldn't expect me 10 carry five
! Of six hundred TO an affair Ike that.
would you?"
You shouldn't go to such low places.
! Jacob"
"Oh. don't know. Where are you 60
ing tonight, now-honest?"
I'm due for a party at Weber and
Fields. Pretty bad. 1 admit, but not as
bad as a prize-fght."
Whose party? The widows. III gam
bic"
Never you mind. She won't pick nv
( pockets, that's one comfort"
And so this queer pair Of galants
father and son, chaffed one another as
they had done ever since Jacob came
home from college TO share the bachelor
like home of his indulgent father. The
elder Mercer was one of those perennial
beaux who never grow old. His sartorial
glories, his sprightly military step. his
smooth complexion and weli-trimmed i'm
perial, as white as his curly hair made
him a conspicuous figure at the clubs
at the theater and along the boulevards.
His son could not find in all New York
a better model either Of dress or deport-
ment than his young-old father, and ia
the course of three years of companion
ship in their bachelor home they lived
more like brothers than like parent and
child. The feeling between them had
none of the tender sentiment filial or pa
ternal. They quizzed one another, kept
from each other such secrets as seemed
sacred. and never referred to business
matters of their own. Jacob had inner
tied his mothers fortune upon reaching
his majority. J. Burlingame Mercer, his
father, though long retired from trade,
was reputed wealthy He kept up his
a couple of smart carriages.
Jacob took after the old man, in ev-
erything but love-making. Perhaps he
would get to that stage of equality later.
but just now he was deeply and per-
haps consistently in love with a young
woman of Boston, whittier he was bound
or the early morning train. For the rest.
and. as regards their home life, they lived
quite sedately. One old. deaf, serving
man brought their morning roll and cot
fee to their bed rooms. They took their
other meals at the club; came when they
pleased and went when they pleased.
minded their own business and esteemed
one another in that deeply undemonstra-
tive way peculiar to men of the world.
DO you want Caspar to wait up for
you?" asked Jacob. as he slipped on his
overcoat2"
NO. I'll be out all hours. Supper at
Martins and God knows what after
ward explained the father, fitting his
white kid gloves TO nicely. What
timeH you be home, JaeOb?"
Search me. my lord" laughed the son,
going out And then from the dim stair
way: Don't forget to lock up every
thing. J. B. I've left my money at
home"
The old beau muttered something about
lightning never striking in the same place
and completed his toilet with the care Of
dA Olu lpI4Lllitl. rive iu4lluiro tstAtA Ills
brougham rolled up to the door, he skip
ped nimbly down the steps cried. Same
place TO the driver, and was gone. Jacob
strOlled over TO Broadway, hailed a cab
and made for the rendezvous OF his sport
ing friends. It was 10 o clock when they
arrived at the Bowery saloon in the rear
room Of which the scrap was 70 take
place, but they found the place deserted.
a giant policeman on guard at the door
and further down the street, lurking in
doorways, a squad Of peeping blue coats.
All off, Mr.. Mercer" whispered the
'bar-keep," handling out cigars, which
the young man took, but did not smoke,
try US next Tuesday night, same hour"
The four young men went back to their
carriage disappointed, but silent in the
presence of the watchful policeman.
this fzzle, said McWhorter.
IN stop for a minute" said Jacob /
then TO bed. I've got to catch an early
train.
Quite resolute in his determination TO
quit the party, young Mercer spent not /
more than ten minutes in the buffet and
then went home. He left his cab at One I
Hundred and First street, bought some /
bromo-cafeine from the druggist there /
and walked toward his house. When +
he came into view OF the side windows he T.
noticed a dim Pickering light in the sec !
ond story. Wonder what Caspar's up /
top he thought. Then he remembered (
the burglar who had robbed the house I
on a similar occasion, and halted in the ,
shadows. He saw that the front window /
over the veranda was open and thought
Of porch climbers. He walked quickly 10 4
the corner looking for a policeman. but /
saw none. Then he ran over 10 the drug
store. hesitatIng whether 10 notify the /
police. He got shaTnefacedly into the teie +
ton. quietly suggesting that zone or two
officers he sent. as he suspected there
was burglar in the house. without an
prisiug the druggist of his misgivings he
went back 10 reconnoiter- He crept I'm ny
the dark wall Of the next house and stood
under his own window. He could see the
occasional dun glare OF a lighted match
and once the dim outline of the bur
siar.
lie had no weapon. The police we're q
long time coming. Jacob tried the back
Door. X was locked. Then ne stationed
himself midway in the little area which
served as side ward so as 10 watch
9Th exits. AT last he heard the front
i1or click. lie edged along the shadow.
lie saw dark fgure come cautiously ort
~ the vesubule. Jock ont as II listening
-nG then come boldly forward. just then
cloud PASSED over the waning moon ard
la tho Young man could see was "a BLACK
hulk Sinking out ~ THE iron gate. He
followed seslthiy tiI q cab swung sud-
'onlT round the corner The Burglar
hailed Il and. jumping qgickly ln. criei
,u- with the voice of J. Bgriingane 3fer-
ser ITO Weber and Fields
That's one on y0u- Jakev. laughed
re SON You came pretty near rabbiug
our own father
iie welt hack 20 his house deterriirsd
80 keep his foolish secret from The nollce-
'e Ins-ei ore at the beck let the oth-r r
En- tlE fronr and himself stood sentinel