The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-07-04

| A Sheffield boOt-maker displays this
! notice in his window: "Don't you wish
you were in my s?"-Tit-
$50 you are in society?" Eyes" I'm
real society?" eyes" ''Way-up so
ciety?" Eyes" docs society know
ity'-Chicago Post. Ii
''Bingles is lucky man. His time
goes right on whether he is waking or
sleeping, sick or WELL" "What is Bin
gles' business?" Matchmaker"
Blobbs-How did you like the melo-
| drama? Was anybody killed? Slobbs
NO; the audience yelled for the au-
| thor. but he wouldn't come out.
Uncle William, are you troubled
about the hereafter?' mo, sub; it's
! de wharfo' er de herein what keeps
me '!-Atlanta Constitution.
Lady Tourist doing the cathedrals
| Of Scotland)-This is Gothic, isn't it,
John? Juvenile Vender of "Guides"
(severely)-No, mem. This is Presby-
| terrain.
Sounds thrilling: Bobbie-Paw, will
you buy me book? Father-What is
the name o. the book you want? Bob
bie-"Nicaragua Bill" Ohio State
Journal
In condolences: Customer-Waiter,
here's quarter. Suggest a good din
| ner for me. Waiter Tin whisper)-
Go to some other restaurant, sir
| Smart Set.
Travelling Acquaintance wonder
| that the regular passengers don't agi-
tate for better service Commuter-
We do, at times, but it merely gets US
| agitated.-Puck.
Poor Mike: Doctor-How about that
| mustard plaster I prescribed for your
husband? Mrs. Grogan-Shure, doc
thor, couldn't make Mike ate more
nor tn half av it.-Judge.
It's queer that people who are al
ways railing at the world are never
theless willing to pay the doctors a
fortune to keep them from leaving it
in a hurry.-Atlanta Constitution.
The commuter at home: Suburban.
This is shameful! I'll not stand that
cooks insolence moment longer. AS
soon as I get to New York I'll ring her
up on the telephone and discharge her.
Judge.
Looking blue for milkman: II more
than suspect our milkman.'' ''Of what
do you suspect him" "Of trying to
work the Filipino water-cure on us.
Look at the color Of that milk!'-
| T1ovo1orl r.,
"Say, our bookkeeper is foolish"
"What do you mean?' ''Why, he says
when he gets old he wants money
| enough to go out and live where be
can see the moon go down behind d :
hedge."-Chicago Record.
Analysis: She-After all, what is the
difference between illusion and :delu-
| sion? He-Illusion is the lovely fan
cies we have about ourselves; delusion
is the foolish fancies other people have
about 'themselves.-Life =. .::ss y. .'.' -
A come-down for her: "Did,1 under
stand you to say that she lowered her
self when she married him?" Yes.
She slid down from third-story win
dow, using a rope made Of bedclothes.'
Chicago Record-Herald.
Discretion: $50 you made great
! hit in your presentation Of Hamlet
Mr. transformer? l suppose the audi
ences called you to come out before
the curtain called me? They
dared mc!'-Baltimore News.
ut would be helpful to you," said
the prison visitor IF you could take
some motto and try to live up to it."
That's right" replied the convict;
"I'd like to select, for instance, we
are here to-day and gone tomorrow
-Tit-Bits.
The proper thing: The President
| Then you don't care to have your name
mentioned in connection with your one
hundred million dollar gift to our uni
versity?" The Philanthropist-
you might say that you give my name
without my consent.-Ex. =
Cheerful: Tess-So, Mr.. Groosum
really proposed to you? Tess-Yes.
While we were strolling in the GENE
terry we came to their family lot, and
he asked me how I'd Hike to be buried
there some day, with his name on the
stone, above me.-Philadelphia Press.
DO you think it would improve my
style!'' inquired the varsity man who
had got into the crew through favorite-
tisn1, IF We're to acquire faster
stroke?" TT would improve the j.,
crew. replied the candid trainer, III
you got a paralytic stroke. TIL Bits.
No conversation: Barber You're
next sir. Hair cut? Pepprey-Yes,
| and here, put this in your pocket for
yourself. Barber-Thank you, sir. I
don't often get my tip before begin,
and appreciate Pepprey-I don't
want, you to- consider that tip, but
hush money:"-PhiIadelphia Press. Is
II Mammy-tBless 1paah hearth: II. de
chile amt cuttin' his eye-tooth! Little
'Rastus Gn alarm What's an eye
tooth, nanny? Mamny-Why, de
eye-t ooth, chile atches ebry word dat