davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

once. Do you marry me to her here
and now But if / ever run across
you again, I'll slit YOU in two-I WILL
so help me" But could get no
further, for even Curtis began TO laugh
at such a wedding.
And so in that same grim room the
old wretch did indeed marry us again,
while Debby placed hand that shook
now n little in mine. and looked up at
me as l had never known her to look
at me before, with n faith and trust
and gentleness that ! swore to heaven
should never go from her face and
heart so long as could give my poor
life to keep them there. And beside us
stood John Acton-serious, too, for the
moment-and Robert Curtis Philipse,
her brother, with a sadness upon him
that nothing could ever lift, for that his
life was scared by this war that had
bereft him of all family ties. Deborah
gave answer to the simple service i'm a
low, gentle voice; and when we were
done l kissed her for her brave heart,
and her dear self, and-be it confessed
in general thanks to God that she
should come SO freely to be With me
for as long as He should give us life
And so the little ceremony was done.
Merton" said Curtis, as we sat
down to some food, II have a message
for you that means much, l suspect"
anu he gave me a great official package
that l knew came from headquarters as
soon as my eye lit upon It, 1 was for
letting it lie for the time, but Debhy
was for insisting on opening 1T to see
what 1T might mean. And so l broke
the seal, and found over our commando
er's great hand my appointment to be
a major under dear old Putnam, and
with this an order to join my regiment
in Connecticut at once.
Acton slapped me on the back; Cur
tbs gravely shook me by the hand; and
Debby-aye, what would Debby do
now?
will you go?" l asked.
why not, dear?" said she simply
as simply, as unhesitatingly as she has
said the same thing every time from
that day to this.
And so in the early afternoon shook
those two tried friends by the hand and
bade them farewell, as we started rid
ing eastward. Both We're ordered
South, to go they knew not where.
Whether we three should ever meet
again, no man could tell. But higher
authority decided that 1t should never
be.
AS l said when began this egotistic-
al scrawl, thirty years have gone since
that day, and we have lived our life to-
gether till have passed the half cen-
than two years yet, and then peace and
something that is even greater came
to our devastated land; and peace and
quiet came TO Debby and to me. My
lot has, after all, been happy one, and
cannot complain.
Those two friends of mine went
further and further southwark, until
at last they came with the great COM
lnander before the now historic villige
of Yorktown There they saw and
made part Of the siege that gave us
the right to say american" before all
the world. Acton returned In 'S3, and
found us at home in Boston, where to
this day he finds us still,-and where
we sit together and smoke and talk OF
other days. But the other, Robert Cur
tis--as / always love to call him
stayed behind, lying for evermore In
the trenches by that famous southern
town.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
THE ENI
INGENIOUS FIM-FLAM.
A Scheme That Has Puzzled Even the
p-to-Date Barkeeper.


New Orleans Times Democrat: THE
thing In the way of fim-nam now, and
the real thing" said an old detective, is
away ahead of any of the old tricks |
know anything about. lit has been worked
but once In New orleans, as far as /
know, and If 1t has ever been worked in
any other place l do not know anything
about It, The business of finding a peck
etboo6, 'springlng the pigeon as 1t Is
called; the lock trick which, by the way.
is one of the smoothest of the whole list
and all the others are cheap and clumsy
in comparison with the clever scheme that
was worked on a downtown barkeeper II
few evenings ago. 1T shows one thing,
and that Is that the criminal classes arc
quite as active mentally and otherwise,
as men who are engaged in the decent
callings of life. They are probably more
active mentally Than the men who are
ground into narrow grooves because of
ceaseless toilng in an effort to keep Che
wolf away The new fiin-llam scheme is
wonderfully simple, and Is worked with
paper money. A 81 and a S. bill are needed.
OF course, bills of higher denomination
could be used, but the two men who
worked the trick here used the bills of the
first denominations 81 and 50 bill. III
| is worked in this way: one of the men
Will write in thin letters on the back of
the IS bin what is supposed 10 be a list OF
| his laundry. For instance, THIS way one
SKIRT, two collars. two pairs of cuffs. He
Will go into q saloon when there is rush
| on, in order to further minimize the pos
s!bilitias of the barkeepers detecting the
scribbing ON the bill, and will call for Il
drink.
THE money Is put In the drawer, the
man gets his drink and his change and
walks out. Directly his partner walks In,
calls for glass OF beer and tenders Il 81
bill in payment. The barkeeper throws
out 50 cents In change. You've made II
mistake, old man. the purchaser will say
i gave you a IS bi;.' A polite wranglc
follows The fellow is insistent: says he
I only had one piece of money, and that
| 1t was IL S. bill. and he remembers to have
I jotted down list of his laundry ON the
/ back ot 1t. He calls for the boss tells
1 him OF the dispute and asks him to see
If he has s. bin with one shirt, two coll
4 lars, two pairs cuffs written on ii In pen.
| ell. Sure enough, the vii Is found, and
| the man gets his si.9o change. This is
the scheme they worked on the man
downtown. and he had no idea he had
! been swndlcd until he though over 1t for
some time and then the whole plot
dawncd on him. 1t Is d clever scheme, but
one that will not last, as barkcepers are
awfuiis quick To get on to tricks of this
/ sort
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
The Hansons are uannx

Ashley, n. d., Dec. 8. Cured OF that
most dangerous of all diseases, Rhell-
matism OF the Heart. j. III. Hanson of
This place loses no opportunity of sing.
ing the praises of Dodd's Kidney pills
~ am able to work again" says Mr.
Hanson And am feeling better than
have for five years. Broken down
and fairly used up and suffering from
Rheumatism of the Heart and Dropsy
| was in very bad shape.
"Ihen started taking Dodd's Kid
ney Pills md well, you can see how
look and feel as we'll as look My
Rheumatism is gone and the Dropsy
with it.
81 don't think they'll ever bother II
again, but if they do III just get some
more of Dodd's Kidney Pills. l know
that will fix Them
Mrs. Hanson, too, whose health was
far from good, took the same remedy
and she joins with her husband in rec
ommendins Dodd's Kidney Pills
Five hundred and thirty two tons OF
cigarettes were exported last year from
L,,y, -
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
"The Proof OF the Pudding rdes In
the EATING"

Tho doctors are dumbf~unded, the
druggists astonished, and the people ex
cited and joyful over the wonderful cures
and tremendous sales of the great Rem
edy, st. Jacobs Oil. Every case of Rheu-
mhatlsm-some of many years standing
Thousands of certificates like the follow
ing can be furnished as to its value:
rh George scleysr, Publisher Of the
Jacobs Oil for almost unb,earable pains
IN the back. which had completely pros
Lrated hlm. A few applications cured
him entirely.
long time severely troubled With vii Rhe u
matlsm st. Jacobs Oil instantly re-.
LEV. Dr. q: Pick, of Rochester, n. Y,
suffered SO intensely from Rheumatic
pains that he was unable to preach.
Several applications from a bottle of st.
Jacobs Oil relieved him."
Two applications Of st. Jacobs Oil
pain in my foot"
Messrs. @. l.. Brundage and Son, Drug
gists, Muskegon. Mich, write:-"St.
Jacobs Oil has a wonderful sale. We sold
eight bottles at retail yesterday. This
VIII give you some idea of how we'll it 10
iAAeN III tulS SeCtlOn.
Mr., Louis Hinkel, of East Poesten,
Kill, N. Y, says:-"I call st. Jacobs Oil
the best lniment ! ever used. 1t cured
me Of Rheumatism and pain in the back"
Herman Rittner, Manchester, N. H.:
IL have tried st. Jacobs Oil, and found
it excellent. All those who have purchus-
ed It speak of 1t as simply incompara.
ble.'
Geo. G. Erffle, Palestine, Tll.:-"l was
in bed suffering from swollen leg.
used st. Jacobs Oil, its effect was Won
derful. The following day attended to
my business again."
DIR. Cysto Fuls. Reading. o., writes
The sale of St. Jacobs Oil is constantly
increasing; it is praised by everybody,
and never fails to give entire satisfac-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Mrs. Pats Quick MAKE Up"

New York Press: The originality of
Mrs. Patrick Campbell is shown in the
wonderful celebrity of her making up
for the stage. She arrives at the thea
ter only a few minutes before curtain
time and enters her dressing room like
a whrlwind. Into a corner she throws
her coat of broadtail. Her squirrel hat
is thrown unceremoniously on a nail
In fash she has stripped her neck of
the favorite emerald chain, and in two
minutes she has anointed her face and
dabbed the rogue on her cheeks. The
penciling of her eyes is almost as brief
in the doing. Without the assistance
of IL maid she losses her street bodice
into a corner and falls into an even
ing gown that fastens readily The
arranging of her hair in that indefinite
knot is done with three twists Of her
deft fingers and general Embedding
Of hairpins. She arranges her jewels
on her corsage as she crosses to the
stage. Between every act she changes
with the rapidity Of magician. 1t is
her nature to work feverishly, and her
friends say she lives in continual
rush, even while crossing the ocean.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

In every country of the civilized world
Sisters of Charity are known. Not Only
do they minister to the spiritual ard
intellectual needs of the charges commit
ted to their care, but they also minister
to their bodily needs.
With so many children to take care Of
and to protect from climate and disease,
these wise and prudent Sisters have
found Peruna never failing safeguard.
DIR. Hartman receives many letters
from Catholic Sisters from all over the
United States. A recommend recently
received from a Catholic institution in
Detroit Mich, reads as follows:
Dr. S. B. Hartman, Columbus, Ohio:
Dear Sir:--"The young girl who used
the Peruna was suffering from karyngi-
It's and loss of voice. The result of
the treatment was most satisfactory.
She found great relief and after
further use of the medicine we hope
to be able to say she Is entirely cured. ."
Sisters of Charity.
The young girl was under the care Of
the Sisters of Charity and used Peruna
for catarrh of the throat with good re-
suits as the above letter testifies.
Send to The Peruna Medicine Co, Co.
lumbus, Ohio, for free book written by
Or. Hartman.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Too Many for the Farmer,

Baltimore American: lrate Fa-mer--
Say, can't you read?
Lone Fisherman Yes. Why?
Irate Farmer-Don't you see that
sign over there marked Private. No
Fishing Allowed"
Lone Fisherman Well in the first
place, don't believe in signs; 1 never
read anything marked private and,
furthermore, I'm not fishing aloud. but
quietly"
Before the astonished farmer could
catch his breath the lone fisherman was
q half mile UP the pike, with lovely
bunch of fish
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
A Fair Exchanna

Puck: Editor (squashville News)-see
here, Mr.. Dolan. You delivered me a
load of hay for the six years subscrip-
ton you owed for my paper.
Mr. Dolan-Oi did,
Editor-Well, my horse won't eat that
hay, b. gosh!
Mr.. Dolan-well. my goat won't eat
your paper, be gobs!
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
"Eitist.n Not MEittest !,

New York Times: Mrs. Kingdon-Just
think, out of all Uncle Rogers nine chill
dren the only one now living is Cousin
Jane.
Mr.. Mngdon-cousin Jane, the dress
Mrs. Kingdon-Yes.
Nr. kingdon-well. it's only natural
that she should be at the last-survival
the fitist, you know
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Convincing Proof.

II
Case No. 4l,2O6.-Capt Alfred e..
Rigler of Hose Company No. a, Canton,
Ohio, says: II had weak back ever
since was boy, and about six years
ago the cause developed into rather a
bad case Of kidney complaint. 1t was
not little backache now and then, but
backache which caused actual suffer.
ing day and night, and the harder
tried to get rid Of 1t the worse 1t be-
| came.
when the attacks were in the acute
stage it was difficult to sit down, and
when down 1t was just as hard to re-
gain an erect position, on account Of
the twinges OF pain In the kidneys. I
can only describe some Of the pangs as
similar to that received from a knife
thrust.
I'm time, distressing and terribly In
convenient urinary weakness resulted,
causing annoying embarrassment dur
ing the day and loss of sleep during the
night.
IL took everything which came to my
notice from reading, from observation,
and which my friends and acquain-
tances advised consulted physicians,
but none Of them were able to relieve
the trouble, let alone stop 1t.
cit became SO we'll known that lad
q pronounced case Of kidney complaint
that often received circulars from
medical companies offering to cure me,
and one day eighteen letters We're
handed to me by the mail carrier.
when Doan's Kidney Pills attract
ed my attention wanted to try them.
just as had tried everything else,
aud Mrs. Rigler went to Durham &
Wright Co.'s drug store for box. Re
lief followed.
81 knew after dose or two that the
medicine was acting directly on the
Kidneys from the altered condition of
the kidney secretions. and, encourag-
ed. continued the treatment. Finally.
the baclsache and other complications
stopped.
LET me sum up my opinion about
Doan's Kidney Pills by saying | would
willingly pay one months wages for a
box of them If could not buy them
for less. You can refer anyone to me
about Doan's Kidney Pills and will
| convince them that they act just as
represented"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
That Captured Her,

Boston Transcript: Kitty-Have you
heard the news? Bertha is going to marry
Ned Rellers.''
Edith-'You don't mean 1T! Why, there
Isn't bigger fool in town. and he never
was able to support himself.
Kitty-Yes, know; he isn't much of a
,atch, but you should see Bertha's engage
ment ring. It's beauty
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

New York Times: Mr. Differs rat the
dining table)-Why are you removing
the parrot from the room, my dear?
Mrs. Bliffers-Well, It's a young bird
just learning to talk, and / thought
best to keep it out of the room while
you are carving the turkey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
-Four Ycars After

Lapse of time has strengthened INV
appreciation of Doan's Kidney Pills
gave this remedy my unqualified M
dorsement in the summer of 1896 he
cause of the results obtained from a
course of the treatment can now
add to my original Endorsement the ex.
perience of a number Of others who are
just as enthusiastic, when they ex.
press their opinion Of Doan's Kidney
Pills, as L."
A FREE TRIAL Of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mr. Rigler viii
be mailed on application to any part
Of the United States. Address Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y For sale
by all druggists price so cents per box.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

DHVId Mefklson. $Ve-~-~->e~ -e-~-~~-~-S
DR. Hartman, one of the best known
physicians and surgeons in the United
States, was the first man to formulate
Peruna. 1t was through his genius and
perseverance that it was introduced to
the medical profession of this country
If you do not derive prompt and satis-
factory results from the use of Per,na,
write at once to DR.. Hartman, giving /,
full statement of your case, and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable ad-
vice gratis.
Address DR.. Hartman, President Of
Ihe Hartman Sanitarium. Columbus. O.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
French Maid.

Boston Transcript: Mrs. Houseleigt-
Your name. l understand. is Rrideat
McShane? You are Irish. i supposea
Applicant-No, mem. Dim Frinch.
Mrs. useleigh-French? Were YOU
born in Ireland?
.Appiicant-Yis, mem; but Oh took
Frinch lave from it.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
What Came of Education.

Pittsburg Press: An old negro, being
informed that member of his race had
forged note on a bank, exclaimed:
OATS what comes er eddication. I
got ten chillun. but. thank de Lowd
not one Ell dem kin read or write"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Not Interested.

Yoniters Statesman: do you know
the amount of money that is spent fol
rum each year," asked the prohibi.
ZIONIST.
No, replied the man ad s,essed, I'm
not interested in the price which stag
gers humanity
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Tho Reason.

New Pop-"Ever hear our minister"
Henpeck-"Once, and I've always re-
GREETED it"
New Pop-"Tiresome sermon, eh?"
Henpeck-"No. He officiated at my
Tedding,'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Tickle,

Princeton Tiger: How is your
friend the carpet cleaner" asked the
mat.
"Alas!" cried the Persian rug, "all is
over! He shook me for girl with
money!"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
ORIGIN of the Goodness

Chicago Record-Herald: "Ah, what {
splendid bit of still ife!" said Mrs. Old
ham, as she looked at the new oil portrai
of Mrs. Henpeck's husband.
Then the wind veered to the northwes
and the ladies parted without arguing a
to whose turn it was to call next.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Only limo He Can.

Philadelphia Bulletin: 'Ile says he likes
20 talk TO his wife over the telephone
II wonder why?'
ooh, he can shut her off any time he
wants to
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

Mrs. Austin's Buckwheat peases the
whole family. from the baby to grandfather,
Makes healthy, hearty breakfast, satisfies,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

Ought to Be Good Climber.
Detroit Free Press: she-You ought
be a good mountain climber.
He-Why?
she-You are SO used to bluffs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
New Uses.

Detroit Free Press: What has Charlie
done with hts sofa pillows?
why. he's using them as pads for lLJ
football suit"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

II you tire of buckwheat, try Mrs. Austin,
famous Pancake -four for change. Made
from the great food cereals.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
Careful of Its Morals,

Mrs. Winslow's SOOTHING s7aup FOR Children
seeming; softens the gums reduces inflammation al.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11
New Uses.

: Je.roit Free Press: What has Charlie
..e iil his sofa pillows?
= ~ ies ,;sil;g them as pads for his
.t-...-i .-.t.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

el19 Permanently Cured. ,;orts nervousness after
etorcr Send for EE az 90 trial bottle ant treatise
DIR. II. IL. KLINE, Ltd, 93l Arch St. Philadelphia Pa
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

All creameries use butter color Why
not do as they do-use JUNE TINT
BUTTER COLOR.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

Many women and doctors do
not recognize the real symptoms
OF arrangement of the female
organs until too late.
II had terrible pains along nv
spinal cord for two years and suffered
dreadtully. I was given different
medicines, wore plasters; none Of
these things helped me. Reading Of
the cures that Lydia e. Pinkham's
vegetable Compound has brought
about, I somehow felt that it was
what needed and bought bottle to
take. How glad I am that 1 did so !;
two bottles brought me immense re.
lief, and after using three bottles moro
felt new life and blood surrinp
through my veins. 1t seemed "a
though there had been regular house
cleaning through my system, that all
the sickness and poison had been taken
out and new life given me instead.
have advised dozens Of NV friends to use
Lydia q. Pinlsham's Vegetable
compound. Good health Is indis-
pensable to complete happiness, and
Lydia p. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has secured this to me"
-MRs. LAURA Z. BREMER, Crown
Point, Indiana, Secretary Ladies Relief
I esoyjps te. Original ebous isttc,
Every sick woman who does not
understand her ailmcnt should
write Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn.
Mass. Her advice is FREQ and
always helpful.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-11

Five hundred and thirty two tons of
cigarettes were exported last year from
Egypt.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-12-09
ERROR FELL DOWN ELEVATOR.
And Father Of hoy II lit sued Mrs. Laura
IatrrpD.

To save lawyers fees and to avoid the
bother of second appearance in court
defendant. Mrs. Laura Iathrop, the
Christian Scientist, has offered TO settle
10y cash payu.en, out Of court damage
suit which two weeks ago she went into
court 10 fiGht on a matter Of principle.
The pl. NTH was Michael Beickert
father of George. an infant employed last
January by l.. NJ. Beck, a fish dealer, to
run errards on busy Fridays.
George held the Jon only half Of the
first Friday because abou, his first errand
wa- TO go to the Barnard apartment mousse,
Seveuty-iir,t street and Central Park
West, and get the en-. ~ littleneck and
oyster pals from Mrs. La'hrop's apart
ments on the tenth floor.
While waiting at the bottom Of the dumb
waiter shaft Tor the oyster pals the infant,
George. was struck on the jaw by an errone-
Gus thought which fell down the shaft
and when the boy has since sworn in court
was an empty milk bottle. He thought
that il fractured his jaw and lacerated his
scalp suit fol $500 damages was begun
eleven months later.
Thu complaint declared that Miss Agnes
Young dropped the milk bottle and that
AZ she was a houseke.per in the employ
Of Mrs Lathrop the latter vas responsible
In her answer Mrs. Iathrop declared that
she and Miss Young were co-tcnants. Part
~ OF the defendants answer was:
Iron information a ad belief that the plain
tiT'- mind and memory were impaired before
the tim" of the alleged accident
The case Vac tried before a jury in the
Tenth District Court The boy testified
| that after his jaw was broken by the bad
| thought, quart size, he couldn't eat any
| thing but milk toast for several weeks
| and that he couldn't chew meat for elk
| mont hs.
Then the Christian Scientist defendant
| called to testify in her behalf plain medical
| man, a physician " no prescribes drugs, and
\ who testified that boy with a fractured
| jaw couldn't eat milk toast or anything
| but liquid food at first. but could eat meat
within three months. Another expert,
| an elevator company man. testified TO the
| eject that il George had been hit by quart
milk bottle that had fallen i2O feet he would
| be- far beyond the help Of even the most
| absent kind of absent treatment
| The milkman swor" that he was not
short any milk bottles on the 1athrop
account. Mrs. I.athrop and Miss Young
suggested that If a bottle really fell, il war
| from some other apartment.
| The jury disagreed. A new trial was
ordered for yesterday, IN, Counsel for Mrs
| Lathrop said that she had OF. cred nominal
| sum to settle and that the case was of.