The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-05-11
Fun OF The WORLD.

once When olnlnS chance with Dr Creighton,
the late Bishop OF London, club Lord Rose
berry remarked All my Lord Bishop. what nuisance
this dining IS. TWO things absolutely dread-a long
dinner and long sermon. / think that and
dinner, however good either may be- ought never TO
last more than quarter Of an hour or twenty min
the most"
Well WELL said DR.. Creighton, musingly. could
We not matters this way lord? Knock. say
ten minutes OF the and put it on the dinner"
< Z
A beginner in newspaper work in southern town
who occasionally sent stuff" Of the New York
dalies picked up summed what seemed to him a
Dig story. Hurrying to the telegraph Office he quer-
ied" the telegraph editor: Column story and
Shall I send?"
The reply was brief and prompt but the enthusi-
asst unsatisfactory Send coo words. all it said
Cant be told in less than 1900 he wired back. Be
fore long the reply came:
story of creation of world told coo. Try it"
< <
Two old-tme darlies were engaged in discussion Of
death and its mysteries when Uncle Nose said:
Reuben, does you bIeve dat whin pusson dies
dat he kin a dog a chicken"
We'll, dunno" answered Reuben.
Eff you hay 70 way whin dies would you turn
10 chicken
Dat depends all togedder.'
IAN togedder what?'
"on whedder you lived in de nearabouts not
= <
4 wee boy, waiting in city railway station decided
to put his remaining penny the slot and weighed
With much elaboration help his mother
this accomplished Seated again. he asked loudly:
Mother. how much would have weighed had put
in dolar?"
gee &c
There many parts the country where the jury
system imperfecty understood but it is often
that the misunderstanding produces anything
ing as incident reported by the Atlanta Journal.
suit damages o trial of the divis
ions Of the city court recently A country lad Il or 10
years of age put the stand testify. He
his testimony a that the Judge, pointing
TO the jury. said to the boy:
speak so that these gentlemen hear you"
why" said the witness, with beamng smile, ARE
these interested in pops case?"
It is best to be sincere. as a family in Germantown
recently found They had been entertaining dis
tnguished novelist from abroad, who not alto
gether acquainted with socetys of saying things
it does not mean. The time came her departure,
the host handling her to the carriage, he
said very cautiously I that cannot stay
longer"
TO which came the unlooked-for>retort. ooh. but
cam
There was only one course open. The trunks We're
taken down, the carriage sent and, 10 Che con-
sernaon hosts the lady re-entered the house.
x x
After the last of Rev. Dr. Talmages Brooklyn church.
been destroyed by fire he started pZeach in
Fourteenth Street Academy of Music in New
York and there became wei acquainted with ed" Gil
more the manager. Mr. Gilmores reverence is not his
strongest characteristic it was quite ike him to
say:
Look here Talmage tell me why it is that the Al
mighty permits your churches TO burn little.
but never the flames get into the dives and
shops?"
I'm answer that question after get up there"
Piled DR.. Talmagc, pointing solemnly heavenward
oh" snapped Mr.. Gilmore. well it is not a 100
to-l shot that you are going TO get there"
DR. Tamage made reply, but meeting Mr. Gilmore
the Sunday, he smiled and asked:
Say Ed have the odds changed YETI"
x
belated traveller, who was compelled TO stay all
night in a backwoods cabin says that after the
frugal supper soda biskts. and fried side meat
swimming in grease, had been eaten. tall gaunt
youth of about IS and equally sallow and gaunt
L. both barefooted took their hats from wooden
pegs the wall and prepared to so out whereupon their
said reprovingly:
Go long an wash your feet, Levi you an Looly
both! Haint you ashamed off to an evenin'
party without washin' your feet?
They obeyed. but Levi took the washpan from
bench by the door he said. with grumble:
I'D bout stay home from party as to have
to fix UP for hit"