davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
AN INTERNATIONAL TOWN.
Nogaies on the Mexican Border-How
the Laws Are Enforced.

NogaIes on the Mexican Border-How
the Laws Are Enforced.
1t would be incorrect to date letter
from either Nogales, Ariz., or Nogales,
Mexico, alone, for the town belongs so
thoroughly and completely to both that
neither half is town at all. 1t Is the
most completely and curiously interna-
tional place that can be conceived of.
There is no separation Of the two parts
visible as you look down on the town
from the hills, and the life and the Or
binary traffic of the place flow back and
forth with no one, apparently, to say
them nay. However, it must not be
supposed that there Is free trade across
the thoroughfare, which on one side is
called International street and on the
other the Gale International.
In the middle of the street, where the
Gale Elias, or main business street.
crosses the international avenue, stands
a stone obelisk about twelve feet high.
and in the vicinity of this are ALWAYS
one or two guards in civilian dress, who
pay no attention to empty
passers-by, but will stop any carriage
or any person who offers to cross with
burden that might contain dutiable
material. Occasionally, on the Mexican
side, one sees Mexican soldier in uni
form, but the cuartel near by is too
small to hold more than a small detacb.
ment, and neither soldiers nor Uniform
ed customs guards are ever in evidence |
along the border.
The Americans live apart from one |
another In individual houses of all |
grades, most Of which are very neat,
and some Of which are quite fine and
must have been costly. Their streets
run up the sides Of the mountain glen
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
A Drug Store Story.

The present rate war which is raging
among the local druggists recalls the
old story Of the man who rushed into q
drug store late one night and inquired
the price Of certain patent medicine.
zone dollar a bottle,' replied the
lruggist.
But haven't dollar" replied the
man, "and my wife Is very sick"
"It will cost you dollar" insisted
the druggist, but without further par
ley the customer, made desperate by his
wife's plight, snatched the bottle, and
putting down dime on the counter
turned and ran out Of the store.
Following him as far as the door. the
story goes, the druggist bawled after
him, triumphantly:
''Never mind; I've made a hundred
per cent on the medicine Just the
Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04

sound, but nearer noises disturbed him
A horse, riderless, but heavily saddled
had slipped down the embankment
Struggling to right itself, the steed roll
ed almost over on Hugh. He graspet
out and caught the saddle girth. 1t snap
ped loose, he fell back, narrowly escap
ing the flying hoofs, and the horse sprane
up into the road again and dashed of
wildly.
"A runaway" murmured Husband
some one after it."
Into view galloped a horesman, who
halted with a shock. He glared down at
Hugh, leve1ing a pistol.
| Quick! he demanded-"did you see
horse?"
OF course I did," answered Hugh
boldly facing. Don't you hear him p
| In the distance sounded the hoofs of
the runaway. With a growl the man
started in pursuit before Hugh could re-
fer to the saddle.
This the horse had left behind him in
the bushes. Hugh examined its bulging
flaps. The leather pockets were burst
Ing with bank notes, silver and postage
stamps.
Hugh did heap of thinking. Then
he covered the saddle with brush, and
went into the city.
Early editions of the morning papers
were just out. Newsboys were shouting:
Full account of the postoffice robberyr'
Hugh purchased paper.
Amid the rising pop and bang of early
fireworks. he read of the burglary of the
local postoffice-booty secured, twenty
thousand dollars; reward offered, ten per
cent.
Hugh went to the nearest police station
and told his story. There was no doubt
but that he had in hiding the plunder-
stuffed saddle of runaway horse of
the thieves.
AS Hugh left the station, two hours
after the saddle had ben sent for, and
the stolen booty identified, he carried in
his pocket an order for two thousand
dollars.
A patrol wagon just then drove up.
loaded with young men. He started as
he recognized among them his recreant
comrade Roy, one Of a coterie arrested
in a gambling haunt.
Hugh secured his release and loaned
him twenty-five dollars to get to a dis
tant relative in temporary humble retire
ment.
That was a lucky Fourth of July for
Hugh. A few evenings later, when he
told his story to the Boyds, Nell !!
lie looked pleased, and her father OBJ |
served:
You showed yourself no spendthrift |
with your five dollars, Hugh, if you did
get tricked out of most of it-and as you
have two thousand in bank as nest egg.
why not settle down and get married?'
This was plain and plump. Nellie
blushed. Later, she hid her head on
sturdy Hugh's shoulder as he asked her:
Roy or Hugh, dear; which is it to be-"
There was no hesitation in the answer,
md brave, loyal Hugh was made happy.
The Patriotic Spirit.
Every boy and girl in America may
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
CoIumbia's Little Sister.


Miss Columbia has a little sister now
Who looks as if inclined to be afraid;
The curls are dark that hang about ner
brow,
And the Lord has heard a prayer that
she has made.
There are hollows in her sunburned lit
tie cheeks,
She is ragged and her little feet are
bare,
But there's music in her soft tones when
she speaks,
And when she smiles her little face is
Oh, little Cuba, cease to be afraid,
The road DER which you've come is
rough and steep,
But fair way lies before you, little
maid,
Where flowers bloom and happy foun-
tains leap.
A little hand is on Columbia's arm,
A little maid looks anxiously ahead:
Let him beware who seeks to do her
harm,
And God protect the Leader and the
Led.
IS. q. kiser, in Chicago Record-Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
AMUSING POLITICS.

| Our Fathers Knew Something About
the Game Themselves.
From the vantage point of 126 years Of
observation the mutations of politics
strike the observer as something ex-
tremely amusing. We have a habit of
looking down upon our forefathers from
our superior height: but the old fellows
knew thing or two about politics them
selves. We haven't improved on their
thorough manner of abusing political op-
ponents. In yolubility, in vindictiveness
! and in fertility of invention, the politi-
| clans and journalists of 100 years ago
| seemed to be very close to the original
we'll springs.
Even Washington was not exempt from
shafts of ridicule and vials of vitriolic
calumny. He was one Of the best abused
men of his day. The partisans of Jeffer-
son did not leave the great George
shred of reputation or a vestige of char
acter, and bitterly did he resent the at
tacks. Jefferson is on record as saying
that Washington was the most sensitive
to criticism of any man in public life
And it is of record that the stately Faith
er OF His Country, whose icy calm and
remarkable self-control are matters Of
more or less apochryphal history, gave
way to ungovernable rage and made the
air sulphurous with the violence of i'm
precautions when particularly caustic
criticism of his acts or personality ap-
peared. There was a well-defined vein |
of old Adam in the first President. and |
his enemies delighted in working 1t for
all it was worth. The things said about |
Washington would give pause to a reck-
less partisan of this age of license of !
speech.
But every dog has his day, and Jeffer-
son had his. Jefferson was accused of
nearly everything that an exuberant tan
cy could invent. The clergy of New Eng
land contributed fair share of the OBJ
loquy heaped upon the sage Of Monti-
cello. They called him an atheist and
intimated that he was in league with
Satan to destroy the body and damn the
soul of the nation. Time has proved the
clergy in error on both counts, but the
circumstance is offered in evidence to
establish the fact that the religious teach
ers Of the present day who assume the
burden of regulating public affairs and
who volunteer to furnish pedigrees for
public men on demand are not pioneers
in the field, but are only following in
the rut of precedent.
When Jefferson was elected President
he referred to the matter as a revolution
as important in its way as that of 1776
had been; which goes to show that there
has been no change in partisan clap-traps
since Jefferson set the fashion. When
ever the administration is turned over to
the other party, the event is hailed as
A revolution of the utmost Importance
and most far-reaching effect. The result
loes not always bear out the prediction,
'ut as nobody expects it to do so nobody
s disappointed.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
SECRET OF OLD ST. PAUL's.

Mystery Of a Man and Woman Who
Meet Daily In the Churchyard.
A man about 45 years old, silk hated,
frock coated and shod in patent Ieath.
er, goes into the old churchyard at ST.
Paurs at noon every day. He passes
through the Broadway gateway, walks
around the path on the north of the
church and with eyes fixed on the clock
waits for the hands to point to half
past IL. Then he crosses his hands
and walks down the path on the Full
ton street side of the church.
Then a woman appears ON the scene
She wears black silk and dainty hat.
She passes around to the rear of the
leaning upon the gray stone Of the Ben
jamin Haight vault, takes money from
her purse. This appears to be a signal
for the man to turn and go back along
the walk. As he goes along the walk
the woman starts from the rear Of the
churchyard. As they pass each other
she slips coin or bill into his hand
Not word is spoken by either. Not
a smile wrinkles the face Of either In
fact, If their countenances depict any
thing they depict scorn. The woman,
who is about 80 years old, has large
black eyes, which have no more
warmth in them than has the wind in
winter. She stares coldly, gloomily, at
the man as he passes. AS to the man,
hateful to him is the coin or note she
passes to him-at least that is the way
the crowd on Broadway figures it out.
Bustling Broadway stops here daily
to see the couple meet in~the church
yard. Messengers, bank clerks, brokers
and typewriting girls stop and peer be
tween the rails Of the iron fence They |
have long noticed this financial trans
action in the graveyard, for the strange
couple have appeared there daily for
many months.
Typewriting girls, anxious to get a
glimpse of the woman's face, go into
the churchyard with novels and sit
reading, while they wait for the
strangers to arrive.
When the couple go away Broadway
moves on its way too, speculating on
he secret that these two persons pos
sess.-New York Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04

.
Oh, Molly, now your hour is come!
Up, girl, and strike the Iinstock home!
Leap out, swift ball. Away! away!
AVenge the gunner's death to-dayi
All day the great guns barked and roared;
All day the big balls screeched and scared /;
All day, mid the sweating gunners grim,
VINO toiled In their smoke -shroud dense and
dim,
Sweet Molly labored with courage high,
With steady hand and watchful eye,
TIL the day was ours, and the sinking sun
Looked down on the field of Monmouth won,
And Molly standing beside her gun.
Now, Molly, rest your weary arm!
Safe, Molly, all Is safe from harm.
Now, woman, bow your aching head,
And weep in sorrow o'er your dead!
Next day on that field so hardly won,
Stately and calm stands Washington,
And looks where our gallant Greene doth
figure clad in motley weed
A soldiers cap and soldiers coat
Masking woman'S petticOat.
He greets our Molly in kindly wise;
He bids her raise her fearful eyes;
And now he halls her before them all
COmrade and soldier, whateer befall.
And since she has played a mans full part
A mans reward for her loyal heart!
And Sergeant Molly Pitchers name
Be writ henceforth ON the shield of famel"
Oh, Molly, with your eyes SO blue!
Oh, Molly, Molly, here's to you!
sweet Honor's roll will aye be richer
TO hold the name of Molly Pitcher.
Laura Il. Richards In St. Nicholas.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Time Saving.

A unique time-saying device is said
to be used in the Office Of one of New
York's large drug companies. Over
the desks Of each member Of the firm
and each manager of department are
four incandescent lights Of different
colors. When the individual is at his
desk and at liberty to consider ques.
tons from others in the Office, his white
light is turned on. When he is in the
building and must be hunted I'D. he
leaves his green light burning. When
he is engaged and not to be disturbed
except for vitally important matters,
his blue light is in evidence; while the
display Of his red light means, prac-
tically, Danger! Will not brook in
terruption upon any consideration"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
After the Fourth.

Hurrah! hurrah, for the glorious Fifth
And our boys who survived the fray;
Who wear the scars, Of the bloodless wars,
They fought and won in a day.
The shouting, screeching, bowling mob
That rent the heav'ns with noisei
Are these sweet things, tied In leading
strings,
Those same distracting boys?
But yesterday they were soldier lads,
Marching to fife and drum:
While with frowning brow each told us how
He was going to make things hum.
You bet we WILL" And you bet they did!
They're now the Invalid Corps,
With blackened stains, and powder grains
But safe at home once more.
Then hurrah, hurrah, for the glorious Fifth!
Hurrah for our patriot kids,
Whe are laying low-for repairs, you know.
And doing as mother bids
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
she Loved Hfm.

Single Man Ito himself-I am sure
that darling little angel loves me. She
takes me into her confidence, and tells
me all her troubles.
Same Man (some years later)-Con-
sarn it all! From morning TIN night,
and night till mornin. when I'm at
home, hear nothing but tales about
the servants, the butcher, the. butler.
the baker, the candlestick maker and
all the rest OF 'em.-New York Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Wisdom Of Experience.

"Do you take this man for better or
for worse" asked the parson of the
widow who was taking unto herself
No. 3.
"Onlv time can tell," replied the fe-
male whose wisdom was born of ex-
perience. II can't give you the infor-
nation asked for until have had nim
a few weeks"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04

'Now here is show case" said the
dealer. that is bound to become popu-
lar. 1t magnifies everything put in it
to double its natural size"
Cant use it in my business" re-
Piled the prospective customer. "What
l want is case that VIII seemingly
reduce the actual size Of its contents
fully one-half."
what is your lineY' asked the deal
or.
My speciality is ladies' shoes,'' re-
piled the other. with half-suppressed
grin.-Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Apace with the Times.

'Yes," said the landlord Of the pic
turesque old tavern, 81 am going to
alter my Accommodation for Man and
Beast sign"
I'm what way?" queried the tourist.
"Why, am going to uut up: Accom-
mediation for Man and Automobile ~
Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Setting Him Right.

The Victim-Wow! thought you ad-
vertised to extract teeth without pain?
The Dentist-So do.
The Victim-It Is false.
The Dentist-That's right. 1t Is false
teeth that I extract by the painless
method.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
SimiIar but Differeut.

Don't be too ambitious at the start,
my boy" said the old doctor to the
youthful graduate. "You must have
patience"
'But that Is my sole ambition" re-
Joined the young man.
''What is?'' queried the old pillmaker.
ITO have patients" answered the
youth.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
He Knew.

Teacher-Now, Johnnie, in this SEN
tence, John Shoes the Horse" what
does horse stand for?
Johnnie Horse is noun, masculine
gender and stands for John.
Teacher-Nonsense! How could that
be?
Johnnie dat John can shoe it, of
course.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Much Easier.

Miss Minx-There are some words
over which 1 always stumble. Now,
for instance, how do you pronounce
Mephistopheles?
Binks-I don't. I always mention
his home address,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
His weaEn0~a

A1bert-Why, don't you recollect that
girl? That's the girl you used to rave
over last summer-calI her ''poem"
and all that.
Edward-By Jove! so it Is! never
could commit poem" to memory
Harper's Bazar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
A Cleansing Process.

"How clean and fresh the landscape
looks today" said Mrs. Hiland to her
husband.
Il read something in the paper about
detectives securing the country" ex-
planned Mr.. Hiland.-Pittsburg Chron-
icle Telegraph.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Dead at His Post.

4 hear Jones was found dead this
morning hanging from the head of his
bed"
well, he always said he'd die at his
post"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Land of Prouise.

Short-I wish I lived in the vicinity
of the north pole.
Long-Because why?
Short-Because the nights are six
months long there, and it would be
some satisfaction to request ones cred
itors to call again tomorrow.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Ought to Be.

ibid you notice Miss Sprightly's su-
perb teeth? By George, old man.
they're gemsv'
''They ought to be. You can buy a
pretty good gem for what they cost
her" ."-Baltimore News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
The First Case on Record.

The First Case on Record.
Smythe-Higgins has queer kind Of
a hired girl.
BrOWne-HOW so?
Smythe-Why,. she came and told
Mrs. Higgins the other day that she
had broken something, instead of say
ing that it came right apart when she
picked it up.-Somerville Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Music Thrown Tn.

Summer Renters- haven't any
piano?
Owner of the Furnished House-No
i but that girl next door plays all the
new rag-time from morning till night.
Detroit Free Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
SeaSonabIe Signs.

I'm in court" reads a sign on the
lawyers door; cat the hospital" ap-
pears on the doctors slate; BE back
in an hour" say several more while
others invite one to ''Sit down and
wait" Gone to the BANK is the
brokers' sign; "Back soon" is found on
the ice dealers hook; "Out collecting'
says a dealer; ''Sick in bed" is the
dentlsts-so says his book. Twas
everywhere thus, so, with nothing to
do, 1 hied me away to the baseball
ground; and there, strange to say, yet
none the less true, each of the above
In the grand stand I found.-Chicago
News
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
He Had the General Ide.

"What is the first law of nature" :"
asked the teacher.
''Knockin' the other feller down be-
fore he gets his coat off," answered lit
tie Edward.-Chicago Record Herald
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Lookinc for Luxuries,

mabel, love-" said young Mr.. Ten
spot, by way of proposal, 'let me be
your bread winner for life.'
But the girl, with her eye ON the ca
pacity of the Beef Trust, answered.:
Il want some one who can win me
some beefsteak' Free Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Favorite Left at Post.

Slobbs-What! She refused you!
Why, 1 thought you were the favorite.
Blobbs-Yes, but the favorite didn't
win.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Between Friends
Maude-IS he handsome?

Maude- you are really engaged?
Clara-Yes.
Maude-Is he handsome?
Clara-Yes.
Maude-That's good. Is he wealthy?
Clara-Yes.
Maude-That's better.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
A False Alarm.

Doctor (who has been sent for at 2
a. m.)-Madam, pray send at once for
the clergyman, and, if you want to
make your will, for the lawyer.
Madam (horrified)-Good gracious! Is
it so dangerous, doctor?
Doctor-Not a bit of it; but don't
want to be the only one who has been
disturbed in his sleep for nothing.-Tid-
Bits.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
A Matrimonial Recon- at;on


Mr.. Mack-If l find an eligible young
man, what shall 1 tell him about you,
Miss Amy?
Miss Amy-Oh, tell him I'm very
accomplished and agreeable-t him
you saw me running the lawn mower.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04

Do you roast people to their face, or
behind their backs? The last trick is
cowardly; the other foolish.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
They Mere

Muggins-See how attentive he is to
her. I don't believe they are husband
and wife.
Buggins-Oh, yes, they are. She has
husband and he has a wife.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
A Comparison

Grandpa-I had a fellow out walking
yesterday, and-well, 1 guess, 1 tuck
cred him out. But then he is old.
Bobbie-Why, grandpa, you are 80
yourself.
We'll, maybe 1 am, but this fellow
was at least q year older"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
A Tangled Case.

Judge-You were arrested for biting
q piece out of your husbands cheek.
You will be held thirty days to keep
the peace and
Prisoner-Sure, your honor, Oh lost
tn piece.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Better Consult au Anrist,

She-Tell your mother I'm SO sorry
L haven't been to see her lately, but
the distance is so great and the wealth
er has been so bad 1 haven't dared
venture.
He-That's all right Don't mention
It, Shed be very sorry if you had
Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Was He2

''Told the barber joke the other day,
and he didn't laugh"
$50 said, See the point?'"
'What did he say then?'
"'NeXt.' '"-Detroit Free Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Knew Who He Was,


Spatts-Who Is that gloomy-looking
misanthrope over yonder?
Bioobumper-That is Spowter, the
celebrated lecturer of Sunshine, or
How to Enjoy Life"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
iNGS HERE AND THERE.

Jokes and Jokeiets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayinxs
and DoinSs that Are Old, Curious and
LauGhable-The Week's Humor.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04
Carrying Reform Too Far.

emit we meat to-day?
Landlady-No, gentlemen; I've join
ed the Anti-Meat League, and we're re-
solved not to buy meat until the price
is cut in half.-NeW York Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-07-04

The Patriotic Spirit.
Every boy and girl in America may
we'll be proud of the bright flag which