Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-05-31


| than when she is not
| Howe-Not so very funny. 1t is the
same way with poultry Tran
script.
Got the last of the boys off my hands
\ nOw," said the old man.
You have?
Yes, dedicated John ter be a scholar
| an Dick to make livin',' -Atlanta
| Constitution.
smith, don't like to make any COM
plant to a neighbour Mr.. Jones, but your
| dog kept up a terrible barking all night"
| ''Oh. that's all right; he's used to it
won't hurt him. Kind of you to men
ton it. however. Tit Bits.
| A story is going around that a Chris
| tan Scientist who has lately been sneak
ing into a doctors Office, to prevent his
wife abusing him, met ms wife there
yesterday; whereupon they both laughed
and backslid.-Atchison Globe.
| Farmer Gin cart)-Hi. stop! Stop. you
| fool! Don't you see my horse is run
ming away? Driver of motor car (hired
! by the hOur)-Yes, it's all very we'll for
You to say stop but Eve forgotten how
the blooming thing works!-Punch.
! The Slick Ruralite.- yrus-These here
| automobiles are great hay savers. Silas
So they be! When yeou are cartin'
! hay to market and an automobile catches
! up behind, yeOu can blockade the road
without fear of half your load bein'
eaten up."-Harlem Life.
Asked why he had left hell out of a
recent sermon, Brother Dickey an
| swered:
'Everthing to his season. Whilst
wuZ a-preachin dat sermon, de thermom-
| eter wuz in de 90S, en- hell spoke fer it.
se'f!'-Atlanta Constitution.
| Willy-I met our new minister on nv
way to Sunday school. mamma, and he
asked me if [ ever played marbles on
| Sunday. Mother-H' m! And what did
you say, to, that? Willy--I said. Get
thee behind me, Satan!" and walked
right off and left him.-Tit-Bits.
Amenities of the Game.-NIr. NEEDLE
ton lat the amateur athletics" exhibit
toni say, Bixby, we'd better put
natural fool on first base. He might
accidentally catch the ball sometimes.
| Mr.. Bixby (amiably)-Oh, very well. I'll
exchange places with you, sir.-Judge.
An Ignorant Captain.-Old Lady
What's the matter now?
Steamboat Captain-We's run on a
sandbar.
Old Lady-Wen, why don't you go
over it? What's your walking beam
for I'd like to know?-New York
Weekly.
'The larger the city. the greater the
cost of living" | remarked, just to show
that l was informed OH matters of social
economy.
Yes" said the tired looking man with
the memory of green fields and running
| brooks, "and the less there is of it,
Brooklyn Life.
cts all decided, Jack, dear Either
you take me to the coronation or on
yacht around the world, so pay your
money and take your choice"
HIM. It's very evident l pay my
money anyhow"
well, you're mighty lucky to have
| your choice. Life.
'Do you not think" l asked of the
| office holder, that dissatisfaction with
existing conditions is the great factor in
| progress =
"Nor he replied emphatically, and
there was a tinge of bitterness in his
voice ut merely makes votes cost
more. Brooklyn Life.
How is your boy getting along at
SCHOOL," plendidly-splendidly l tell
| you, my friend, this boy of mine will
make his way in the world, don't you
fear. During the time he's been going to
| school they have had thirty-two eXamln-
| ations and he's managed to dodge every
one of them. '-Glasgow Evening Times.
But what is your objection to wom-
ans suffrageY asked the fair enthu-
| siaSt.
well" said the politician. y know,
men get to fighting at the polls
| But women are above THAR
Il know; but they might Try to
Scratch the tickets. Baltimore Her
aid.
A well-known judge on a Virginia cir
| cult was recently reminded very forci
| bly, of his approaching badness by one
of his rural acquaintance. ledge
drawled the farmer. 1T won't be so very
| long 70 you'll hev to tie a string around
yer head to tell how fer up to wash Yer
face. The Drawer, Harper's Maya
zine.
"Say, MAJ
Yes, Reginald"
kin any little boy be President when
he grows up"
Yes, Reginald"
But, say, ma"
Yes, Reginald"
ale don't have to. if he'd rather he
a first baseman, does he?'-Indianapolis
| News.
They were inspecting a new fat build
| ing on the east side. and came to 2 door
| in the wall Of the dining room. Whats
| this?" asked the prospective tenant. and
| the young man who was showing him
around replied "Oh, that's the thing
that brings the food up An emeticE"
guess that's what they call it," said the
| young man.
At a recent dinner Col a. X. Mcclure
made a witty speech. in which he said
! that frequent attendance at dinners tend