The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1902-06-13

Mrs. Hoyle-My husband says that
am one woman in a thousand. Mrs.
Doyle-Aren't you jealous of the 500? I
New York Sun.
Cause for Worry. Aunt Sadie--I fear
Robert is an awfully careless fellow; |
heard him say that he dropped $4,000 /
on the street esterdayl-Brooklyn /
Life
EFF Gabrul wuz ter blow his trumpet |
ter-morrer, some er de fault-1nders
would rise en- tell i'm dat his. musical
eddication had been neglected.-Atlan- !
ia Constitution.
Upgardson-Amongt the fraternity of
professional musicians ] consider
Atom-Fraternity of professional mu-
siciansl Don't talk nonsense, old man!
Chicago Tribune.
Borem-Now, what would you do if
you were in my shoes, Miss Cutting?
Miss Cutting-Id point the toes to-
ward the front door and give them a
start.-Chicago News.
He-Miss Wadsworth is rather man.
nish, isn't she? She-EXceedingly!
Why, she'd rather pay ? cents more for
store to buy it.-Puck.
whats a wreck, pop?" "a wreck,
my son, is disaster on the water"
Not always, pop; there's old Rednose;
he's a wreck, but water had nothing
to do with Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Kawdle-I wish you wouldn't in
terrupt me every time | try to say
something. Do l ever break in when
you are talking? Mrs. Kawdle-No,
you wretch! You go to sleep.-Tit-
Bits.
Have the letters been duly exam
lned by the handwriting eXpert?" Yes,
your honor" Every well; let the
handwriting expert now be examined
by the insanity expert. Ohio State
Journal.
Boarder (warmly)-Oh, know every
one of the tricks of your trade. Do
you think have lived in boarding
houses twenty years for nothing?
Landlady frigidly)-I shouldn't be at
all surprised.
Visitor-What are you crying about,
my little man? Little Willie-All my
brothers have holidays, and l have
none. Visitor-Why, that's too bad.
How is it? Willie between sobs)-I
don't go to school yet.
A conductor said in tone of great
severity to a passenger who was max
ing considerable disturbance on a car:
3 Remember, sir, that you are on pub
D lie vehicle, and you must behave as
: such.-Lippincott's Magazine.
Eyes, am opposed to American girls
marryin' furriners," said old Mrs
Sipes. I'm just that opposed to il
that If my girls can't marry people of
, their own sex they needn't marry al
all, and that's all there is about it,"
. Flanagan-Hivins, man, phawt's the
matther wild yer face? flanagan
Faith, twas an accident. The ould
woman throwed a plate at me. Flana
gan-An' dye call that an accident
e Hanagan-Av coorse! Didn't she hi
: phwat she aimed at?
Milc Ollig MllltS " li'
once a week while she is away. Tom
dik-Mine writes regularly three times
week. Hojack-She must be yer!
J. fond of you. Tomdik-She is; anC
then only send her money enough t.
. last two days at time
A Question of Privilege: Mistress
(after a heated discussion with argu
mentative cook)-Are you the mistres
u of this house, l should like to know
{ Cook-No, ma'am, | ain't,-but-
Mistress (triumphantly)-Then don
!. talk like an idiot!-Punch
did you git anything?' whispere
\ the burglar on guard as his pal emery
I ed from the window. "Naw, de biloxi
I wot lives here is a lawyer" replied tn
4 other in disgust. Oats hard luck.
& replied the first did you lose any
\ i'ingT'-Ohio State Journal.
Sharpe-On his birthday before thei
( marriage she gave him a book ent
3 tied "a Perfect Gentleman" WhealtO
Any change after a year of marie
4 life? Sharpe-Yes; on his last brit
I day she gave him a book entitle
"Wild Animals | Have Met. Tit Bit
4 Intimate Friend-The assessor hash
4 listed your property at one-tenth
4 what it is worth? Then why don
I you increase your assessment volul
tarily? Millionaire did that lai
year. and everybody said l was NAL
4 ing a grand-stand play for popularit
a Chicago Tribune.
Lieutenant Ito his orderlyl-Bring n
a I>oofe+ooty and roo.baI oro n-lo,.