Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1902-08-01

A Sheffield boot-maker displays this
notice in his window: Don't you wish
you We're in my shoes Tit Bits.
$50 you are in society?' Yes" IN
real society?n Yes "Way-up So
cietyf' Yes" Does society know
it?'-Chlcago Post
"Bingles is a lucky man. His time
goes right on whether he Is waking or
sleeping, sick or we'll" What is Bin
giles business?" Matchmaker"
Blobbs-How did you like the melo-
drama? Was anybody killed? Slobbs
No; the audience yelled for the au-
thor, but he wouldn't come out.
Uncle William, are you troubled
about the hereafter?' NO. sub; it's
de wharfo er de herein what keeps
me guessn'l'-Atlanta Constitution.
Sounds thrilling: Bobbie-Paw, viii
you buy me a book? Father-What is
the name O. the book you want? Bob
bie-"Nicaragua Bill" Ohio State
Journal.
here's a quarter Suggest good dim
ner for me. Waiter lin Whisper
Go to some other restaurant, sir
Smart Set
Travelling Acquaintance wonder
that the regular passengers don't agi-
tate for better service Commuter-
We do, at times, but it merely gets us
agltated.-Puck
Poor Mike: Doctor-How about that
mustard-plaster | prescribed for your
husband? Mrs. Grogan-Shure, doc
thor, | couldn't make Mike ate more
nor tn half ay lt.-Judge.
It's queer that people who are al
ways railing at the world are never
theless willing to pay the doctors a
fortune to keep them from leaving it
in hurry.-Atlanta Constitution.
The commuter at nome: suburban.
This is shameful. I'll not stand that
cooks insolence a moment longer. AS
soon as | get to New York I'll ring her
up on the telephone and discharge her.
Judge
Looking blue for milkman: 81 more
than suspect our milkman." ''Of what
do you suspect him?' "Of trying to
work the Filipino water-cure on us.
Look at the color of that milk."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Say, our bookkeeper is foolish"
"What do you mean?' why, he says
when he gets old he wants money
enough to go out and live where he
can see the moon go down behind a
hedge."-Chicago Record
Analysis: She-After all, what is the
difference between illusion and delu-
sion? He-Illusion is the lovely fam
cies we have about ourselves; delusion
Is the foolish fancies other people have
about themselyes.-Llfe
4 come down for her: Did | UNDER
stand you to say that she lowered her.
self when she married him?' yes.
She slid down from a thlrd-story win
dow, using rope made of bedclothes.'
Chicago Record Herald.
Discretion: 80 you made a great
hit in your presentation of Hamlet
Mr.. transformer? suppose the audi
ences called you to come out before
the curtain.' "Called me? They
dared mer'-Baltimo News.
1T would be helpful to you" said
the prison visitor 'if you could take
some motto and try to live up to it."
That's right" replied the convict;
"I'd like to select, for instance. we
are here to-day and gone tomorrow
-Tit-Bits.
The proper thing; The President
Then you don't care to have your name
mentioned in connection with your one
hundred million dollar gift to our uni
versity!" The Phllanthropist-We
you might say that you give my name
without my consent.-EX.
Cheerful: Tess-So, Mr. Groosum
really proposed to you? Tess-Yes.
While we were strolling in the ceme-
terry we came to their family lot, and
he asked me how I'd like to be buried
there some day, with his name on the
stone above me.-Philadelphia Press
"Do you think it would improve my
style?" inquired the varsity man who
had got into the crew through fayorite-
ism, "if ] were to acquire faster
stroke? ut would improve the
crew." replied the candid trainer 'if
you got paralytic stroke. Tit Bits.
No conversations Barber = You're
next, sir. Hair cut? fepprey-Yes,
and here. put this in your pocket for
yourself. Barber-Thank you, sir. |
don't often get my tip before | begin,
and | appreciate Pepprey-l don't
want you to consider that tip but
'hush money Philadelphia Press.
Lady" began the dusty wayfarer,
could you help poor sufferer of
Mont Pelee?' Mont Pelee:" echoed
the housewife; why you are no resi-
dent Of Martinique. u know dat,
I 10