The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1902-10-25
THAT REMINDS Me-

The New York Times revives an old
story about the late Senator Carpen-
ter of wisconsin:
at is told of the late Senator Matt
Carpenter that one day while chatting
with friends in a committee room, the
conversation turned on the relative
merits of religious sects. Nearly every
member of the party belonged to some
church, and there had been an ami
mated discussion, Senator Carpenter
pacing up and down, listening in
tently enough, but saying not a word.
" What church do you belong to,
Carpenter asked one.
Sc L don't belong to any
" Why don't you join one?'
I don't want to. None exactly
suits my views
% What one would you join if you
were to feel forced to a choice?'
81 The Catholic, by all means
And why the Catholic?'
Because they have a purgatory,
and that's a motion for new trial. /"
In a minor way an anecdote in Short
Stories shows Bismarck's ability to
shape his own ends. 1t is customary
in the cheaper classes of German inns
to substitute chicory for coffee. Bis
marck was aware of this, so one day
when he came to a small inn after
long Journey he sat down and called
the inn keeper to him.
Have you any chicory?" said he.
Eyes, SIR replied the inn keeper
well, bring al you have here to
mel" ordered Bismarck.
The inn keeper was gone a few min
utes and returned with an immense
armful of chicory.
as this all the chicory you have in
the house?" asked Bismarck.
"Yes-all."
''Wen, then" said Bismarck, leave
this chicory here and make me cup
of coffee
The man at the desk looked up.
A small boy stood in the doorway.
Are yosl the man that answers the
questions in the newspaper" asked
the boy.
Eyes. What can do for your
"Why, it's this way 1 found a
pocketbook the other day. 1t had 80
cents in it. 1 took it to the news
paper Office to advertise it, cause 1
thought that was the honest thing,
and they told me it would cost 80
cents. Now if 1 take the money out
of the pocketbook to pay for the adj
vertising there. won't be any left for
the man that owns it, and don't think
it's my place to advertise it and pay
for it myself. Do your"
us the pocketbook itself worth any,
thing?"
It's no good on earth. Look at it."
81 see it isn't" said the man at the
desk. Whats bothering you, my son,
is that you want to know whether it
would be right, under the circum-
stances, for you to keep the pocket
book and the money Is that it?'
well, want to do the square
thing"
81 see. 1t resolves itself into a mat
ter of conscience. Why don't you go
and ask your pastor?"
81 did," said the boy, land he sent
me to you" Chicago Tribune.
Examiner Geading from list of print
ed What were the so-called
blue laws?"
Applicant (for civil ofice)-"I guess
they were the laws that was passed for
maxim the milk pure
Examiner-'"There isn't anv answer.
here, but 1 think that's right"
A CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MOTHER.
Since ma got Christian Science us bows
are dead in luck
No hot old mustard plasters upon our
chests are stuck:
She never puts the ginger upon the stove
to boil.
Nor doses up us children with that old
castor oil.
She just says: Look here, children: no
need for you to souall:
You think your stomachs aching? There's
no such thing at ALL
Since ma got Christian Science she doesn't
use a whip
To punish US, but simply makes Fuckers
in her lio,
And thinks and thinks right at us, until
she near goes blind,
And then she says she's whipped US by
whipping in her mind.
That is the absent treatment. but anyone
can see