Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-06-30
A JOKER N CONGRESS
New Jersey Members Bill Taxi
ing Off the Red Tape PEN
sion Methods.
fay Have the Effect OF Giving
the New Commissioners a
Useful Hint.
congressman Smith, OF Iowa.
Makes Effective Speech and
Good Impression.
Special to Times-Republican.

session, of congress, are always made
memorable by members of practical
joking sort; songsters and humorists.
Congressman McDermott, of the Ho-
boken district, New Jersey, is q COM
paratively new member, who up to date
has always conducted himself in a
manner strictly conventional; never
giving way to outbursts of boyiShneSs.
However, the humorous characteristics
are evidently secreted about him, and
just as congress was about to adjourn,
burst forth.
The development was in the form OF
bill touching applications for pen
sions, or rather u set of alleged speci-
fications prepared by the pension office.
1t is limited that Mr.. McDermott must
hayes met with some hard shedding in
mis- efforts to secure deserved recegni-
tionp-of claims of certain old soldiers
in his district. At all events his bill"
is regarded as a yelled slam at the
pension department. The bill needs
tinctly audible when presented with an
OppUIluIlltS. I1SIS II 10 III luii'
"57th scongress-First session. II. r.
1927. In the house of representatives.
Mr.. McDermott introduced the follow
ing bill; which was referred to the
committee on invalid pensions and
ordered to be printed"
A Bill Concerning Pensions.
Whereas it is rumored that several
pensions have been granted within two
years after application to the bureau
of pensions, which fact indicates lack
of proper investigation by that depart
ment: Therefore, be it enacted by the
senate and house Of representatives
of the United States of America in
congress assembled, that the bureau of
pensions shall not hereafter take ia
vorable action upon an application for
pension until the applicant shall
have fully answered. to the satisfaction
of the commissioner of pensions, and
all the employees of the bureau (Which
approval shall be indicated by separ-
ate endorsements upon the applica-
tons or papers annexed thereto), the
following questions, and given the in
formation hereinafter Indicated:
(a) With whom have you talked
concerning your application? Give
time of conversation and color of the
eyes of person with whom you con-
versed; also two photographs of his
nearest relatives.
OBJ Give history of your childhood,
with copies of your last composition
in school. Have copy certified by
schoolmaster. If schoolmaster is dead,
give history Of his family from time
of coronation of Rufus the Red to the
seventh day of JAN, 1902.
(c) In order that claim may receive
early attention, furnish copy of the
directory of each town or city in which
resided with the atfidavits
of two reputable citizens showing the
truth of each allegation of residents
contained in said directories. If APP
plicant is in INDECENT circumstances
blanks will be furnished by the depart
ment not, however, exceeding the ca
pacity of two freight cars.
Id II deceased was not native born,
furnish photographs Of birth place;
also history of maternal grandmother
If photograph of grandmother is not
furnish oil painting.
(e) Furnish thirteen affidavits of re-
liable citizens showing that applicant
has never contemplated re-marriage.
Each affiant must fully state the
sources of his knowledge, which must
not have been derived from CONVEX
sations with applicant.
(f) If marriage to deceased was prior
to 1850, furnish the affidavits of thirty
eight citizens showing clearly and con-
that applicant did not con-
4 Il In nrIa tn h
tain a pension.
(g) Furnish photographs Of children
with evidence Of forty-nine reputable
witnesses to prove paternity. If ap-
plicant is childless, satisfactory evil
denca of the reasons therefor must be
furnished.
CHI Furnish photographs of deceased,
showing his performance of duty in
any battle in which he participated;
this exhibit must be accompanied by
the affidavits of at least ten comrades.
that wounds received In
battle were not received with the in
tention of obtaining pension for appli-
can't
ID Furnish history of each soldier
who served from the state in which
deceased enlisted. If deceased was
drafted, furnish certified copies OF
election returns showing election of
officers of municipality serving at time
draft was made; also history of town
hall.
ID If it is claimed that deceased
died of consumption contracted during
service furnish embalmed section of
left lung. If claim is of death from
Bright's disease, similarly contracted,
furnish X-ray photographs of kidneys
and toe joints.
(k) Furnish certified copies of all
books in public library nearest home
of applicant.
"a Furnish conclusive evidence show
ing how long the deceased would have
lived II he had not served in the war.
Cm) Furnish evidence showing pres
ent residence of deceased. Hearsay
testimony on this point will not be
Congressman McDermott has been
by large number of
members in the house who know some
what of the trials incident to getting
an application thru the various stages
which terminate in allowed" The
on invalid pensions will
probably not burn any midnight oil
this night in the effort to reach
report. 1t would not be
however, If Mr. McDer
motifs satire might be productive of
results The new commissioner may
discover a hint secreted about the
bill.
Congressman Smith, of Council