Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-08
WHAT WOMEN LIKE IN MEN.
The Need of Revival of "OId.Fash.
toned" Courtesy.

Man; in. spite of that deplorable start
made by Adam, was intended to be wofl-
an protector, and refuge from all harm,
upon whom she could lean and rely in
every event of life's pilgrimage; and
when the roles are reversed as they oft
en- so unfortunately are, it is a bad thing
Doth for man and woman. Strength, how
ever, Is what women love in men; the
present question IS, What Women Like
In Men," and that is not quite the same
thing. What woman may love and seek
In her chosen mate she will not be so I'M
reasonable as to demand in her ordinary
acquaintance, that small change" of
social life which is useful for the game
OF pitch-and-toss OF ordinary intercourse.
do not think that there can be any
doubt that what women like most in men
Is courtesy, and, If a counsel of perfec-
ton may be offered. good temper.
III We Were to anaiyZe these two virtues.
they would be found, think, to have
their root in that very quality of strength
in one form or another which women adj
mire so much. Courtesy, the perfect con-
troll of ones feelings under all clrcum-
stances, the serene remembrance of one $
surroundings and their exigencies, is
distinct manifestation of the quality OF
strength. and gives that quiet sense OF
superiority which is at the root of chiv-
alrous protection. Good temper, too, l.
strength in its Wa, for though it may
occasionally be allied with apparent
weakness of character, it certainly serves
as strength to it's fortunate and invulner-
able possessors.. Good temper, however,
is a gift of the gods, and is one of their
rarest guerdons to humanity; and though
seif-contro will largely help 10 take It's
place, it has ct the same attraction as
a sunny temper. Self-control. however.
can be learned. and so can courtesy be
studied, and every man who desires TO
find favor in the eyes of woman Will
find courtesy his best friend.
If woman is well born and we'll bred
good manners in a man will appeal to her
at once as the ''shibboleth" of her order.
l .t,.. h.a a
flattered and huttered by the deferential
| courtesy which treats her as if she We're
| a duchess, and to which she is entirely
unaccuStomed from men of her own class
and standing. 1t is far too common
habit with many people to depreciate
courtesy as a superficial attraction, an
| unnecessary hamper on social intimacy.
1t is neither the one nor the other. IL Is
very rarely that courtesy in man IS nor
| the outward and visible sign of other ad-
mirable qualities within. II is not neces-
sarily an indication of kindness of heart,
| but it is very often its outward manifeS-
tation, and at any rate, courtesy lnui-
Gates that a man is not so wrapped up III
| himself and his own PROJECTIONS as to Tor
get what is due to other people. especial
| ly to women. 1t oils the wheels or lie
and makes friction less frequent; 1t pro-
notes good understanding, Tor every Wo
man will show to better advantage When
| she feels safe from i'll manners and tact
| lessness. A courteous man Will put a VIC
man on good terms with herself, and con-
|
whereby he reapS his reward in many
| ways. Even bad-tempered shrew is not
| insensible to good manners; and CAIN
| courtesy will often avert an attack or
| .'tantrums'' or Mysteries. The greater an
| intimacy between a man and woman, the
greater need to keep hold of courtesy, Tor
| there never was truer proverb than Ia
miliar ity breeds contempt n wise man
| never allows his manners to be seen en-
| deshabille, any more than wise woman
| allows herself to be sen in curl papers
| Illusions a@e absolutely necessary be
tween the sexes, both mentally and ply
sically, and nothing helps to keep those
| useful buffers against disastrous realities
| in such good trim as mutual courtesy.
| Seeing the enormous value of this quail
ity of courtesy in the appreciation of men
| and women, it is very strange that day
| by day the courteous man Is be eco ~ y
| specimen will have to be captured for the
| Museum of Natural History, to be placed
next to the iodo among the extinct spe-
| ces Bad manners rule the town. ana
are to be met with where one would least
expect them to be found. The older men
of the present day still retain some ira
| ditions of that courtesy which distin-
have not known how to hand on to their
sons. Such courtesy is, alas! now con-
demned as .old fashioned" What
would these forefathers have said to the
young man of the present day VINO
| lounges into q room full of ladies with
| both hands plunged in his trousers pock-
cts; VINO will stand and talk to lady
| in the same attitude; who will seat HIM
self at table before she is seated; who
will not rise to open the door for her II
| she leaves the room; who Will remain
| seated when n lady stops to talk to him
| in passing. and a thousand other trivial
signs and tokens of lack of manners hav-
| ing their root in Incidence conceit and
selfishness? That the women of the pres
ent day are considerably to blame for
| allowing young men to behave thus, in
stead of turning their backs on them and
| serenely ignoring them, is unqueStion-
! able; but two wrongs don't make
| right" | have only to occupy myself at
present with what women like and dis
| like in men; and ! am quite certain that
of consensus of opinion could be gath,
cred from my sex or the subject, IT would
be that, first and foremost, they like good
| manners in man.
| For mans social career among women
courtesy is trump card. 1t is not the
Ionly one Women admire courage (anoth-
er development of the quality of strength,
which is the strongest magnet of all for
women), honesty, good temper, generos-
| ity, masterfulness (when not carried to
| the point of bullying). dexterity in sports
| of all kinds, and, of course, physical
beauty; but a man may have all these
and youth besides, to recommend him,
and yet not find himself lin the running"
with a gray-haired senior who has real
| lied the occult influence of deferentiai
courtesy toward women. Courtesy, like
charity, covers innumerable sins. y man
| may be the greatest rapscallion on earth,
but If ne has good manners women will
| like him and fight his battles. He MAJ
be paragon of all the virtues; n, how
| ever, he lacks courtesy, and is rough and
| ill-mannered, his virtues may help his ce
lestial salvation, but will be of no use at
all for his social success on earth. There
fore, let the man who wants to be liked
by women remember that however much
women may differ in their individual
tastes, good manners and good tempers
have never yet failed to find favor in the
eyes of the daughter of Eve.-Lady Colin
Campbell, in London News.
Eggs condensed milk o1iva nil and