The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-09-19
y 1hSHE]
k;3z11AE[%|E=1VN

! y
! "What! again!'-Judge.
The Trust Principle.-1t is easier to
rob million of men Of dollar each
than to rob one man of Million
Life.
Mrs. Jones-"I always think twice
before 1 speak once, STRIP Mr.. Jones
(sighing)-"Exactly, Maria-but you're
such a quick thinker!"-
Mistress Ito newly-engaged cook)-
"And now, what shall we call you?"
Cook-"Well, mum, me name is Ber-
tina, but me friends all calls me Birdie"
| Swapping condolences: May-"I hear
Belle had a great talk with Harry out
on the beach, Clara-'I should say
she did. Why, even her tongue is sun
burned"-Ex.
Haste necessary: Assistant Gin men
agerie) - "Sir, it rains'' Keeper
Good heavens! Don't waste a min
runs" -Tid-Bits.
If the people who can't write had
the brains of those who can, and those
who can had the skill Of those who
can't, what a glorious literature we
would soon have.-Ex.
Mrs Hiram Offen-"What made you
leave your last place?' The Cook Lady
"'Tis insultin' We are, ma'am. Nothin'
could ever make me Pave, ma'am. Oh
go whin Oh PLACES. ''-Philadelph
Press.
| Lieutenant-"Don't you know enough,
to salute your superior otticer?' New
Sentry-"I did, sir" Lieutenant-"I
failed to see you" Sentry-':I said,
Hello, there!' but I guess you didn't
hear me-
Kitty-"D'ye rally love me, Dinny?
Denny-"Do Oh love We? Faith, Kit
ty, Old do anything to live wild ye
the rist av ne loife, avcn if Oh knowed
/ 'twould kill me this minute" -plila-
delphia Press.
Mrs. Pcnham-"Its hard OH the pee
pie Of Greenland to have nights SIX
months long" Benhanl-"Ycs. Just
think Of the sufTerEgs Of the poor man
whose wife's mother drops in to spend
the evening. '-Bazar
| Cascy-"Did We so oyter t see Kcl-
| IL lasht noight?' Costigan-"Oi did
not Afther Old walked two thirds av
tn way Oh was too tired t. go a shtep
further, so OF turned round an walked
back home again." fudge.
Brother, don't you know if you
swear at those mules you won't get to
| Paradise?" Eyes, pawson; but if [
don't swear at them I won't get to the
end Of the row, and that's the impor-
tant thing at present. Philadelphia
Record.
| Eyes, count, in all the park there is
no place like so we'll as under this
DID, old tree. (Sighing sentimentally.)
There are tender associations, you
see" "Aha! comprehend, mam'selle.
You have yourself planted the tree"
Punch.
His choice jury: Lawyer Brief-"I
see that case Of yours is on. Jury
drawn YETI" Lawyer Skinner-"Yes,
and it's a splendid one" Lawyer
Brief-"Above the average in intelli-
gence, eh?' Lawyer Skinner-"No;
way below it"-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Doolan-"Only think, Mrs. Gro
gan, that great Pianipounder has prac-
ticed so hard at the pianny for the
lasht six months that he has paraloysed
two fingers" Mrs. Grogan-"Begorrah,
that's nothing, Mrs. Doolan. Me daugh-
|
for the lasht six months that she's par
aloyzed two piannies."
| Excited Fisherman Ito country hotel
keeper)-"There isn't a bit Of fishing
about here! Every brook has a sign
warning people off What do vow mean
by Turing anglers here with the prom
Use Of fine fishinS?" Hotel Keeper--"l
didn't say anything about fine fishing.
If YOU read my advertisement careful
ly, you will see that what l said was
Fishing unapproachable.'
''Archibald DEAR" his wife said,
arousing him 'In the dead Of night
Il wish you would walk baby q little
while. He's going to wake up How
can do that, Lucinda?' expostulated
the sleepy husband. You know I've
got the ping-pong ankle" 'Then put
him in his cradle and rock him while.''
IL can't do that, either. I've got the
golf shoulder boston Courier.
The blood of the soldier: II suppose,
colonel" said the beautiful grass
widow, ''that there often are moments
when you wish you were again on the
battlefield, thrilled by the roar and
fired by the excitement Of war;" EYES,"
he answered, looking around eagerly
for an avenue Of escape, and seeing
none, seven now the old feeling comes
back to me.'-Chicago Record Herald.
. An appreciation: A man went with
his wife to visit her physician. The
doctor placed a thermometer in the
woman's mouth. After two or three
minutes, just as the physician was
about to remove the instrument, the
man, who was not used to such pro-
| lonpe1 smell Of brilliant silnnco on the