davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Do YOU GET Up WITH A LAME BACK?
Thousands of Women Have kidney
Trouble and Never Suspect it.
10 prove what The Great Kidney Remedy
every reader OF this a
absolutely free by mail,

Women suffer untold misery because
the nature of their disease is not al
ways correctly understood; in MANY
cases when doctoring, they are led to
believe that womb trouble or female
weakness of some sort is responsible
for their ills, when in fact disordered
kidneys are the chief cause of their
distressing troubles.
Nervousness, headache, puffy or
dark circles under the eyes, a dragging
pain or dull ache in the back, weak
ness or bearing down sensation, pro-
fuse or scanty supply of urine, fire.
quent desire to pass it night or day,
with scalding or burning sensation
these are all unmistakab1e signs of
kidney and bladder trouble.
Dr. k1lmer's Swamp-Root, the great
kidney, liver and bladder remedy,
stands the highest for it's wonderful
cures of the most distressing cases.
a trial will convince anyone.
II there is any doubt in your mind as
to your condition, take from your urine
on rising about four ounces, place it in
aglass or bottle and let it stand twenty
TOUR hours. If on examination it is
milky or cloudy, if there is a brick
dust settling, or if small particles float
about IN 1t, your kidneys are in need
OF immediate attention
When the heart is acting badly, have
you ever thought that it may be due to
kidney trouble, as is often the case?
Other symptoms showing that YOU
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A Ribulnus Onininu

''It is appalling to contemplate The
effects that this increase in the price
of corn may lead to-" said the panicky
person. at may lead to something
like a famine"
Worse than that" returned Col.
Stillwel, solemnly; "worse than that.
In my opinion the pangs of thirst are
even more terrible than those of
starva ton. "-Washing Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

possible comfort. This is the condition of the
farmer il w estern Canada-Provlnceo of Manitoba
and districts Of Assiniboia, Saskatchewan and
Alberta; Thousands of Americans are now settled
there. Reduced rates on all railways for home
seekers and settlers New districts being opened
up this yea The new forty-page ATLAS of
ton sent Tree to all applicants F. PEDLEY,
superintendent of immigration. Ottawa, Canada,
Chicago. Ill; NJ. V. MCINNES. No: Avenue
Theatre Block, Detroit. Mich; JAMES GRIEVE,
Mich; 7. Q; CuRRIE; Callahan Bldg; milwaukee.
Moines, Ia; E. 7. HOLM ES. Room Big Four Bldg,
Indianapolis. Ind; Canadian Government Agents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
As Discussed at the Zoo.

You KNOW" said the orang-outang,
that man is descended from q
monkey"
YES" answered the chimpanzee,
and his descent has been very great.
But let Us; sit down to his credit that he
tries to rise again. Every now and
then you hear of some man who is DO
ing his best to make monkey of him.
self."-Was hington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A LIVELY INTRODUCTION.

ITO Be Continued
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Didn't Do 1t That Way.

Every few girls said the mother,
'NGnow how to sit down gracefully.
You should be deliberate about it,
Il am" returned the girl.
mix" said her annoying small
brother.
eyes, l am, too" said the girl.
Not when you were learning to
skate at the park this morning." in
sisted the small brother.
Thereupon the discussion ended
Chicago Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Over the Danger Line

weary" said Shiney Patches, as
The two were resting as usual, "this
IS my birthday, and I draw a deep
breath of relief, for 1 am out of dan
ger"
What are you talking about?"
asked Weary.
81 am 35 years old, and for some
time 1 have known that between the
ages of 20 and 35 men do their great
est work. 1t has kept me worl led.
but now I feel safe."-N. Y. Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
An Humble BEGINNING.

He-I am SO glad that you are will
ing to begin housekeeping in simple
and economical way, but are you sure
you can get along without servants?
She-Yes, indeed; that's easily fixed.
We can hire furnished apartments
which have been left in charge of a
housekeeper, you know; and as for
the meals, we can leave our orders with.
q caterer.-N. Y. Weekly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
To the Great Northwest.

The Wisconsin Central Ry. will take you
there in proper shape. Daily trains at con.
yenient hours, leave Chicago from Central
Station, 18th st. and Park Row Lake
'FRONT.' for st. Paul, Minneapolis, Ashland
Duluth and the Northwest Pullman Sleep.
ers are attached, and meals in dining cars
are served A La Carte. Nearest ticket
agent can give you further information
Jas. c. Pond, Gen'l Pass. Agent, Milwau-
kee, Wis.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Nearest She Got to 1t

Have you ever" the girl from Bos-
ton asked, made a critical study of
Paradise Lost p
NO" replied the Lady who was up
from St. Louis, "but 1 lived in Para
disc, Tex, once for three months."-
Chicago Record-Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Awakened the "sIeep1ess. Pastor.

There is point to this story: A burglar
whose night entry into the parsonage awak-
ened the sleeping pastor, said to his help
less victim IF you stir you're dead man!
Pm hunting for money!" "Just let me get
up and strike a light" pleasantly replied
the dominic, land l shall be glad to assist
you in the search. Boston Waterman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
An objection.

Don't you appreciate the oppor-
tunity of voting?"
81 sho'ly does," answered Mr.. Eratus
Pinkley. "De only trouble is dat de job
amt stiddy enough. shington
Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
There's no story to it. I merely
Not to BE Disturbed.

81 want pound O. water crackers"
said Mrs. Korntop.
''Well-er-s'pose 1 send 'em up to
your place." replied the country store
keeper.
81 did think to take 'em with me-
Sorry, ma'am, but Jake Bullyman's
snoozin' on top o the bar'l tibet they're
in, an he amt in the best of humor to-
day" delphia Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Utterly Reckless.

Sillicus-Bjones seemsyery despond-
ent. He says he doesn't care what hap
pens to him.
Cynicus-The first thing you know
he'll be going off and getting married.
Philadelphia Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Repudfates 1t.

Tailor-See here, this bill has been
standing since 1898.
Graphically dear sir, don't you
know that anatomists say man
changes entirely every seven years?
Tailor-What has that to do with it
Graphter-Well, don't you see I'm
not the same person who contracted
that bill?-Cathoic Standard and
Times
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Sad Rut True

Mrs. Benham-Who invented the
cornet?
Benham-What difference does it
make now? It's too late to make
him suffer.-Brooklyn Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Worth Remembering.

"Take heed unto this solemn truth,
Thus spake the beggar needy;
"a bloomin' chump was l in YOUTH
Now 1 am old and seedy."
Chicago Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
1t Was in Use.

Mamma Cat the breakfast tablet
You always ought to use your napkin,
George.
Georgia am usin' it, mamma; I've
got the cog tied to the leg of the table
with it.-Motherhood.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Confidence.

"Old man Skinfiint has given the
church its heat for the winter
chats a strange thing for him to
do
"Well, he probably feels sure of get
ting it back" Town Topics.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Wanted to Reform Him

Mrs. Church-And you say your hus-'
band wrote these verses to you before
you married him?
Mrs. Gotham-Yes; and there's lot
more of them.
81 am surprised that you could have
married a man who wrote such sicken-
ing poetry!"
81 believed it was the only way ]
could stop him" -Yonkers Statesman
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Qualified,

care you married or unmarried" asked
the theatrical manager of an applicant for
engagement.
"Unmarried," replied She Give been
unmarried four times. Detroit Free
Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Where They Differ.

Though every dog may have his day
There's reason to deplore,
The turkey, what with hash and stew,
Can count up three or four.
--TI6pe
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Psyche and Yche.

A beautiful lady named Psyche
Is loved by a fellow named Yche.
One thing about Ych
The lady can't lych
Is his beard, which is dreadfully spyche
Chicago Tribune
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

It's pity the average man does not lose
his tongue when he loses his ead.-Chicago
Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A ROre.

Mrs. Latto-How did Mrs. Bilkins ever
get the reputation for being such bore?
Mrs. Barkey-She tried the experiment of
making it point never to say anything but
good of anyone behind their back.-Brook-
Ign Eagle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A Matter of Trust,

"The great trouble" said the tapi-
talist, ''is to find a man one can
trust
''Oh, don't know" replied the man
of schemes and poverty. cit depends
on the point of view. Now, in my
case the great trouble is to find a
man who will trust me."-Chicago
Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A Query.

If the farmer who tills
Makes his living by tillage,
Does the doctor who pills
Make his living by pillage?
PHILADELPHIA Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

Manager-'I am getting up show that
will make a tremendous hit" Friend
Real rainstorm, real sawmill, ETC., l sup
pose?" Manager-EsNo; real actors. %
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

Winter is half over. People are con-
tinuing to catch colds, and not house
but hears the winter cough. People
are trying to get something to cure
these troubles which are almost inev-
liable at this time of the year. 1t can
safely be said that nine-tenths of the
people in the United States have a
cold some time during the winter.
There is one remedy which will pre-
vent colds and cough and cure them
with certainty when contracted. This
remedy is Peruna. Taken with regu-
larity during the winter months, it will
entirely prevent colds, coughs, la
grippe, consumption, bronchitis or
pneumonia. It will also cure without
failure catarrh and recent cases of
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever
used for all affections of the throat and
lungs.-Wm. o. Endsley, Vanburen, Ind
Feb. 10. 1900.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

Teeth.-"One's teeth require lots of look
ing after, don't they?" eyes. Ma mislaid
her upper set yesterday and it took us two
hours to find them. Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
To Florida.

Through Pullmans Chicago, Cleveland,
Detroit, Pittsburg, st. Louis, Louisiana and
Cincinnati to St. Augustine Queen & Ores
cent Route daily.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A Misanthropfc Summary.

This life full oft doth make us fret;
IT'S ever fraught with pain.
IT'S made of getting into debt
And getting out again.
Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

Pleasant, Wholesome, Speedy, for coughs
is Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

The minutes saved by hurry are as useless
as the pennies saved by pars;mony.-C. B.
Newcomb.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A Theory.

This world as it goes moving on
With folly oft seems busy;
Perhaps it whirls around so fast
That men have all grown dizzy
Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Would Please Him Nightly.

Her Mother-If you marry him, you
need never expect me to come to see
you.>
Daughter-Will you put that into
writing?
what for?''
81 want to give it to Fred as wed
ding present. "-Tit-Bits
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A DIFFERENCE.

"Did / understand the chief to say
he had me down for toast at the ban
quet?"
Nope. He said he had you down
on toast" Chicago American.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
pfshonest Honest,

Sometimes man misleads people
by being perfectly honest with them
Chicago Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Queen & Crescent South.

Excellent through service from Cincin-
natl and the North to New Orleans, Biz
mingham, Knoxville, Chattanooga, Atlanta,
Charleston, st. Augustine
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
THE TAG ENDS OF THINGS.

Better to lose your argument than YOU
friend.-Ram's Horn.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES are fast
to sunlight, washing and rubbing.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

stops the Cough and Works Off
the Cold.
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price Csc.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
A MILD CASE,

Wife (anxiously)-Is my husband
very i'll, doctor?
DR.. Stickum-Oh, no! Only about
500 worth.-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
An EXannnle

There is no doubt" said the stu
dent of law, that many people have
been imprisoned, although innocent
of any crime"
Il know that by sad experience"
You don't say SO! Let's have the
story"
There's no story to it. I merely
had the bad luck to be drawn on
several juries that were locked up
over night. shington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Agreed

She-And so you are a bachelor
Well, there is always hope for bach
elors.
He-That's so. It's never absolute
ly certain that they will marry
Brooklyn Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25

Platter the girl and spoil the woman
Chicago Daily News
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
Going to the Right Shop.

Tess-Della Mode wants me to try
her dressmaker. I wonder if she'd suit
me.
Jess-Oh, yes, indeed; she's just the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
JUST THINK OF 1T.

Every farmer his own
landlord no encum-
ORANGES, his bank account
increa sing year by year,
land value increasing,
stock increasing. splen-
did climate, excellent
schools and churches. low
taxation. high prices for
cattle and grain. low rail-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
In the Iuncb Cafe

N. Haist-I guess I'll take a sand
witch. l don't want much lunch; just
something to stand by me until sup
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25


plenty
pleasant
n oy in their private practice,
science o pound.
purchase the bottles the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
CLOSE GUESS.

This must be one of them sweat
shops I've heard so much about."-Chi.
cago Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1902-01-25
DOCTOR AFTER DOCTOR.
None of Them Suspected that the
Cause of My Trouble Was
Kidney Disease"
V1NroN. Iowa. IuLY 18th. ]

V1NToN, IOWA, JULY 18TH, 1907.
In the summer of 1898, was taken violently i'll.
My ouble began with pain in my stomach, so
that it seemed as if knives were cutting
me Twas treated by two of the best physicians
in the county, and consulted another None of
thena suspected that the cause Of my trouble
kidaey disease. They all told me that had can
of the stomach, and would die. l grew so
weak that ! could net walk any more than
child month old, and only weighed sixty pounds.
One day my brother saw in paper your advertise
ment of Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy.
He bought a bottle at drug store and
took it. My family could see change in me-
for the better, SO they obtained more and 1 con-
timed the of Swamp Root regularly. ] was
weak and run down that it took considerable
Tina to build up again. l am now we'll,
thanks to Swamp-Root, and weigh I4S pounds,
and am keeping house for my husband and
brother, on farm. Swamp-Root cured me after
the doctors had failed to do me particle of good
MRS GERTRUDE WARNER SCOTT
New-York tribune., 1902-12-14

Let me add an argument, uncharitable and un-
kindly, but true, which was put forward
couple of years ago by American flag officer
now dead. against the promotion of a warrant
officer to the rank of lieutenant in the navy. In
the marine forces of the United States, as in
those of Great Britain, the epauets of an officer
have until now been accepted. both at home
and abroad, as an assurance that the wearer
was a gentleman Of birth breeding and educa-
tion and he has been welcomed everywhere as
such on the strength Of this The epaulct Will
cease to constitute a passport If II becomes
known that it is granted to men promoted from
before the mast, and who do not have that
knowledge and experience Of the ways Of the
world nor Yet that breeding which one is ac-
customed to look for in every one OF the naval
officers of Uncle Sam and OF John Bull
While there are plenty OF officers OF the re-
serve forces on the Continent who, OF bourgeois
birth, owe their commissions to the fact that
they were able as graduates of the national
schools to limit their obligatory military service
to the term Of one year, and at the end Of that
time 10 pass an examination officer OF the
reserve forces. yet there are at the present mo-
mcnt extremely few officers in any of the Euro
pean armies who. being OF humble origin, may
be described as having been promoted from
the ranks. In Germany, Austria and, in fact, all
over the Continent. the officers who have
adopted soldering profession. and who
form part Of the standing army. are, rule
men Of birth and education. This is especially
the case in Germany. In France, too. the old
saying about each private having in his knap-
sack the baton OF field marshal can no longer
be said to apply to the conditions of the present
time. The officers OF the standing army are,
nearly every OF them. graduates of St Cyr
Soumur and OF the other military colleges. and
to-day more than ever in republican France
in rnonarchcal Germany the educational and
also social qualifications Of commanding otli-
GERS are required to be of such a high order to
render altogether inexpedient the practice in
vogue during the first half of the nineteenth
century OF promotion from the ranks"
EX-ATTACHE.
New-York tribune., 1902-12-14
A DINNER TABLE NOV ELTY
LIGHTS ARE UNDERNEATH WHAT MR..
AND MRS. HACKETT HAVE INTRO
DUCED IN THEIR HOUSE
UNIQUE EFFECTS
EX-ATTACHE
UNIQUE EFFECTS.

The house of Hackett is numbered IS East
Thirty third-st and within its walls Miss Mary
Mannering becomes Mrs. Hackett and her hus-
band puts off the stock Of the stage for the
more conventional if less becoming collar. The
house has been fitted up with luxury. but with
a quiet taste characteristic of the occupants
and with the desire paramount to make of il
a home. The house does contain one feature
however, unknown to most American homes if
not all. This is the dining table. While Mrs
Hackett was in Paris last summer she CHANGED
to dine off most curious board, that rot only
served to support the food, but also furnished
the light for the room. This table had a glass
top, beneath which were numerous electric
lights. The idea pleased her, so now there Is
similar novelty in the Hacketts' house
The table, of course, had to be made to or
der. From The accompanying photograph one
can only detect that IT is in appearance much
New-York tribune., 1902-12-14
DEMOSTHENES AND HIS SPEECH.

Acestes, In trial of skill, shot arrow So
swiftly that it caught fire in the air.
That pretty good remarked Demos
themes, but | can do better. l can make hot
air without any arrow Whereupon he began
a fiery speech, which cut short by all his
audience departing. Later he was at the
seashore practising with pebbles in his mouth
for some one had said he was talking through
his hat
New-York tribune., 1902-12-14

like any other table, with carved mahogany
legs and a conventional cover. The top OF the
table, however, is in reality box seNeiAl
inches deep, santing inward toward the oase
to make room for the knees of the diners. Inc
cover of this box which is also the top sur
face of the table, is a single plate of heavy glass
Inside the box running on each side the length
of the table are twenty-four electric lights OF
different colors. connected by wires that run
down to the floor inside one of the legs. The
glass top is first covered with a heavy oiled
cloth, which serves both to soften the surface
and dim the glare Of the lights. Then at
night, when dinner party is given, this cloth
is in turn covered not with tIe ordinary Gov
ering, but with Il japanese cloth of rich de-
sign which is translucent Beneath the table
rim. in front Of Mrs. Hacketts seat, is a series
Of buttons which may be pushed to change at
VIII the color of the light. Red, green, blue
white a rich amber shade are possible, and
also a combination of these coIors. Indeed. the
HaCketts can conduct dress rehearsal in light
ing effects without rising from their own din
ner table.
At breakfast, of course, this table has every
appearance of the common variety. In the din
ing room however, there is always amber
light Mrs. Hackett's favOrite color, for the
windows are Of that tint. The ceiling OF the
room is OF bronze, and the walls are hung with
a shade to match both the ceiling and the
tinted light. When the dinner begins the room
is usually lighted from the chandelier of am
Der agate. which hangs above the table, and
by wall lights. AS the dinner draws near 4
close the wall lights are first turned out. Then,
when coffee is reached, the chandelier is also
darkened, and no light remains but the soft
glow shed up from the table itself. MIR Hackett
afiirms that in other light does an anecdote
or pleasant story sound well, or is so freely
spoken and Mrs. Hackett declares that no
other light can so we'll bring out the lights and
shadows of a rose. And their friends hardly
less enthusiastic.
The idea suggests plentiful possibilities to the
writer of fiction too, for instance:
New-York tribune., 1902-12-14
CHAPTER |.

The girl moved her plate with an mperceutIhle
motion farther to the left, till its shadow hid
the faint blush which stole into her cheeks.
She did not speak
The man watched her face anxiously. He
wondered if he had said too much. He grew
impatient for the course to be over, that the
servant would remove the plates. Then she
could longer be in the shadow. He Won
dered how he could pass the word to their
hostess to change that dim. red glow for the
white light He realized only too well that
moments are precious if would catch Il
Woman'S blush.
And so forth. to the thirty-secon chapter
But that perhaps is neither mere nor there.
The fact remains that in their charming and
hospitable home Mr.. and Mrs Hackett have q
delightful novelty which adds much to the
pleasure of their dinner parties