Willmar tribune., 1902-01-01

s p - !
A LETTER FROM WASHINGTON.
reseevd letter from Parrott the
uther day, and ez it mite intrest sum
of yur reeders to heer from Washing
ton, I nearby enkloas it fer publika-
shun:
Washington, dessember q, 1901.
FRIEND JIMM1NNY:-1 hev bin hear
weak but hev not yet enterd On my
dootys ez hisstoryan, awltho l hev
bin kollekting sum materyal for my
wurk. I hev devoated most of my
time in getting ackwainted with the
bewro oftishels, and studying the roofs
of ettykett which ar to govurn the
NAVY in the fewtewr 1 hev awlso
maid sum obsurvashuns abowt what
IL going on and will Civ you littel
glimps of it.
The moast impoartent event of the
weak waz the skoalding jennerel Miles
got fer expressing his thawts on the
Schley kais. 1 bet THAR aint an oald
wOmman in the ewnited stats kood hev
Civ him better dressing down then
sekretairy Root dun. Then the pres
sident took whack at him, aud he
aint no slowch at skoalding Gather.
After this bet Miles will no enuff to
keap his thawts to himself, or els
think like the NAVY department duss.
He IL a demmokrat ennyway, and
haint got no bizness to krittysize the
govurpment, ez susch kritty sissem IL
lyabel to stur up sum annarkist to do
sum akt of vyolens.
Me and the uther pollytishens hear
ar in dredfull kwanderry ez to how
to treet Mark Hanna. Sum peepel say
thet Roosevelt haint got no ews fer
M ark, and if thet il so it wood be the
hite of phoolishness to akt friendly to
him. Then sum say thet he il ON good
terms with the president, and if thet
il troo we awt to stand we'll with him.
We ar tharfoar obligd to dodj him
when thar ar emmy peepel arownd thet
mite repoart us to t1e president.
When we ketch Mark aloan we of
koors Civ him the glad hand and
ashewr him tibet we will stand by him
throo thick and thin. This suspens
IL awfel waring on pnrsen's nurvs,
and I wish sumthing wood happen
purity soon thet wood shoa wether
Mark il still proprietor of the pie
kownter or il ded duck.
The Booker Washington inside
hez bin revyvd in an onekspekted mar
ner. Roosevelt dansd kaik wauk at
the White house krissm ls sellybray-
shun. Ez yu no the kaik wauk il dis .
tinktly niger institewshun, and the
sowth will ondowtedly regard the ak.
shun of the pressydent ez a buddy in
suit. He will hev to appint sevrel
gold bug demmokrats to offs to Offset
this onfortewnait insident.
Payne, the nooly appinted post.
master jannerel will probably not be
abel to talk hiz sect in the kabbynett
fer sum time ez he IL very bizzy lob
bying fer sevrel impoartent trusts
However, Madden IL bizzi'y attending
to destroying refoarm paipers by de-
nying them sekkend klass rats, and
thet il the moast importent wurk in
the department jest now, so it duzzent
m after if Payne don't git in fer vile.
i I met trust magnait the other day
thet kerrid pekewlier watch charm.
1t waz a smawl toob with q strong
magnyfying glass in one end and a
pees of glass With sum printed matter
photograph on it in the uther end.
| BY looking throo the maenvfying
glass yu kood reed the print. He let
me look into hiz charm, and I fownd
the printed matter waz the part of
president Roosevelt's messaij relayt-
ing to trusts. The trust magnait sed
Uu0U "uOuONcE u0 lclO uOuOuHFt0U Q0
jest lookd into the charm and he felt
better rite away. He hez orderd eev-
rel of tho as charms maid, witch he in
tended to Civ to hiz trust trends ez a
krissmus present.
| Well, l must kloas fer this tim. If
thar IL emmy mistaiks in spelling or
gr ammer I hoap WI will ekskews them,
ez hev a very poor pen and the ink
hez bin spilled bv freazing,
Yurs trooly,
JACK PARROTT,
| Navy Hisstoryen.
P. S. jest he'd a tawk with sum
men interested in the ralewav murier
Thay sed thay wishd Van SAINT wood
kwitt botbering them, bekaws in the
furst plais THAR he'd heen no komhi-
nashun maid betwean the Crate North
urn and the Nortburn Passyfik., and
In the sekkund plais the kombinaahun
waz abso1ootly nessess sary to keap the
lewnyun PassYfik from getting kop-
troal Of the Northurn Rassytik.
/ think thay ar rite. =.@s5z 49s<S J. p.