West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-11-13
POSSUM SKETCHES.
The Fate OF the Missionary Who Came
Out OF the PromIsed Land.

chcstnuts gathered that day on the Cum
bcrland. asked them II the Mormon
missionaries had never penetrated 70 that
district They looked at each other and
Smiled. and Mrs. White replied:
ireckon So but 20 kin ask zeb about
IL.
Shoe. mother--shooi he whispered. and
there was silence for long time. Then
he turned 10 me and said
IL makes me feel like fool whenever I
think OF II. but wasn't the only one around
we're who was taken in. II was few years
after the wali and while everybody around
yetc was mighty pore and discouraged that
thar cum into this nay borhood a righ,
smart pear, iookin criiier who gin on, that
he was u pilgrim OF the Lord IL was a
week or two bcfo we found out jest what
that pilgrims crrand was. but then lac told
us he was Mormon aud begun TO sarch
around fur converts. Ever hey any dcalin s
with ono OF them crittersS
or cosc he haint. exclaimed Mrs White.
who sat in the big rocking chair toeing of
sock Tor winter wear. Him's a decent
man and no decent man ever has TO do
with SIGH varmints.
WAL sickness hain't no name fur en-.
continued Zeb. without looking at his wife
who was evidently put out at some recoil.
eciion. That thar critter had good clothes
and lots OF money. and he was the smooth.
est incest talker I ever did listen to. We
Is mostly Baptists around we're and hard
shell at that; but. land save 20. he jest
knocked the legs out from under us m no
time. lie made out IA Il he had religion
so much better that we was tumbled over
In fortnight. IL was the Norman religion,
OF co'sc. and he made it out so nice and
purity that 20 could Jest feel angels wings
CROWN your body.
Nobody but the men folks was took in
by his talk snapped Mrs White.
Mcbbe not. but it's no use to say he
wasn't powerful on the talk Yo Jest orter
heard him lcll bout that of.U;ah Nobody
we're ever heard tell much abot IL tiil he
cum along. aud IL Jest did one a power of
| good TO h,ar him go ON bout the vineciad
hills and the peariy streams a-runIn along.
Tn ~ was woodchucks in every hill. coons
In every co'rnfeld and possums hangin on
TO every limb and watin TO be picked.
Thar was apples and peaches and grapes
and persimmons and melons the hull var
round and whisky. terbacker. snuff and
pipes free to all. Every tling growcd with
out bcin teched and nobody had to work
| an hour week except he wanted to git
the stiffness outer his legs
| What an oncry liar he wasl exciaime d
Mrs. White as she ceased knitting to reach
for handful OF chcstnu,s
| OF ,o'se he lied. said Deb 10 me-of co Sc
lac did. but never expected to hear such
smooth and easy aud bewtiful lym ag'in II
live to be hundred vars old. lie was
wiIiin TO take &C families of us out thar a,
his own expense. aud after we got out thar
| every family was TO hev land and cabin
aud do nothin but sit around aud sing
hymns and upbold the Mormon religion.
IL wasn't exactly paradise. but was next
doah to il.
| % White. why don o tell he un the
truth bout them 40 fan,lies7 demanded
| Mrs White
| don't zacily mean 40 families he humbly
replied; no. of co'se not He picked on,
| 40 men and II women to take along. The
other women was too old and scrawney
wives out thar yo.know.
| M W was one OF em ana never Kin Tor
| give 20 fur IT,
Now. mother. what's the user Did goi
Did wauter yo5 Yes; thar was 40 men.
aud that critter said they could have five
wives piece arter they got out thar il
they wanted TO. Some OF EN- was might,
struck on the idea, but wasn't sayin a
word didn't keer bout bein med to nc
live wives. and as fur gwine off and lcayir
this one behind never could dun H.
Yo jess fgger that 70 couldn't exclaimed
Mrs. White.
Are 20 gwine to keep putin in ON me
queried zeb.
II wanter!
Then III go out and chop some wood
and 20 kin finish the story.
He seemed pleased at the opportunity I,
get away. and when he had closed the doc
behind him Mrs. White said
Zeb's powerfully ashmed OF that pcsk,
bizness. but haint never gwin to let hin
u h'ar the last of IT,. Yo see that miserable
critier OF a Mormon dun most of his talkiI
TO the mon. The first thing us womeI
folks knowed he had nigh all the me,
around yere jest Dustin thar buttons oil
TO so to that paradise. I don't think Eel
was quite as bad as the others. but thInl
he had noshun to go along At least h
acted mighty quare and didn't talk up iik
a man.
Well. you heard Of the scheme7 querie,
as she paused.
OF co'se, / didn's lay much store by IL q
fust, but aucf awhile knowcd that sunthi
must he dun OF the foolish people woui
make a START. One day I got ON the oil
mewl and visited every cabin fur 10 mile
ABOUND Ats o'clock ON the next night !. OF u
gathered up yam at the skulehouse. rh
Mormon was lodgin ih,t night al Davi
house, almost across The road Yes, sab
thar was n women Of us anil nary man
and sc didn', stop five ninu, to talk.
Nou went somewhere, ihcn2
Reckon wc did. sab Went right over {,
Davis aud surrounded the cabin. Then
iopk ihree women with nc and went il
aner che Mormon lie lsfed when WI
woke him up aud axcd him to take wall
bur he gol over that when lie saw the res
Of ih- women aud The switches in tba
hands We took him to The iires lest be-
yond the sknlehouse end lied him fast n,
talked soft. and he threatened, but il mad,
up difference 90 VS. When al was ready
VIC begun 20 use ihe switches. and IL ever 4
pesky crirer got worse lickin I neve,
heard ieil II him. We switched him unit
be was like dead man and then went ava,
and lcft HIM tied MP. Next mawnin he wa,
gone, and from thai day T. this no Mormon
has dared TO show bis face among u.s.
And Of courze lbat pui a stop to iie plan
n goi0g to Uah2 said