Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-01
HER ROOSTER HAT

b
ciety people make me weary! What's the
good of tropical bird II you can't make
some use OF 1t? OF what other use are they
except to be sewed onto women's hats,
hey?'
We'll, replied Mrs. Jobson, II suppose
on sentimental grounds they
Yes that's what it all is-just sentiment.
maudlin sentiment" interrupted Mr.. job
son. Now, look a-here: Isn't it whole
lot easier for richly plumaged tropical
bird to experience quick and humane
death from few properly placed birdshot
fired from the gun of an expert huntsman.
than to suffer the fluttering and hopeless
torture of being devoured by a relentless
snake of the Jungle? Isn't 1t a heap better
that gorgeously feathered bird of the
tropics should be saved to adorn woman's
hat rather than flop down In tropical
swamp or morass somewhere or other and
die without ever being any use to anybody?
Look at the millions and billions of mag
nificently decked tropical birds that have
their feathers pulled out every year In the
Jungles by predatory and crafty monkeys.
Is there any good In that sort Of thing, I'd
like to know, and dye suppose it's any
fun for handsome bird to be clawed all to
pieces by mischievous anthropoid?'
N-no," said Mrs. Jobson, but the
ground taken by the Audubon Society,"
"Oh. yes; know what ground they take,
cut In Mr. Jobson, land know what ud
happen. too, If people like the Audubon So
ciety folks could have their way about
everything. We wouldn't have any meat,
for one. thing. They'd try to make yege-
tarians of the lot of US by claiming that 1t
Is cruel and outrageous to slaughter any
sort of animals-better let em die in their
tracks and be buried with headstones over
each Of 'em. Wed never know the taste
Of an oyster or clam-the silly Billies nd
demand that the mollusks be let alone and
given chance to think 1t all over until
they croaked Of their own yolitiOn. From
that 1t 'ud be an easy step to the assertion
that no trees ought to be cut down for lum-
Der, since trees have life, haven't they?
Sove carrots and turnips and cabbages
and onions life, haven't they? And l sup
pose that after awhile they'd get us down
to a banana diet l notice that some o
skin coats, all right, and yet seals are han
died more brutality than any other kind OF
beast or bird whose pelts or feathers are re-
quired by human beings-they're simply
many of these unwritten sumptuary laws
as it is. And il a woman wants to wear
great aux Of the Andes on her hat, why,
let her wear it-that's all I've got to say.
But" put in Mrs. Jobson, don't you re-
member that when I wore that algrette in
my hair to the theater last winter you COM
planned so strenuously about 1t. and said l
ought to be ashamed to wear feathers that
are pulled from live heron?
Never made such an idiotic remark as
that in my life," said Mr.. Jobson. in his
usual its-all-off tone. Fact is, It's been
source Of secret grief with me for some
years past that you don't use more feath-
ers and birds and gear OF that sort, ike
other women. These top-pieces of yours
that you spraddle over with lot o musty-
looking autumn leaves and Impossible
grapes and peoples and truck like that
don't make any kind of hit with me at
all. You've just dreamt that 1 ever made
any kick about birds or feathers. Just you
get whatever you want in the bird or feath-
er line, and let the Audubon Society like 1t
or lump it. If you feel like pasting Lake
Michigan whitefish or half dozen on the
half shell on top of your bonnet you go
ahead, and If anybody interferes with you
tell 'em to mind their own business.
All of which Mrs. Jobson had in mind the
other day when, as customary in such cases
made and provided, she invited four OF her
closest friends to accompany her down
town to help her pick out hat. While
Mrs. Jobson isn't a member OF the Audubon
Society. she Is in sympathy with the aims
of that admirable organization, and she
ignored-not 1t must be confessed, without
exercising considerable self-sacrihce-an OF
the hats in the millinery shops bearing or
nate birds and birds wings on their crowns
or sides. But when she tried on one of the
new-fangled hats tof the autumn, with
full-sized bantam rooster perched on one
side of it, and concluded that 1t became"
her. she had no scruples.
friends isn't exactly a-er-bird, Is it,
aren't areS t t heS And when they treasured
her she felt all right about 1t. and not only
Mr.. Jobson was just going up the front
steps, with his latchkey in his hand, when
Mrs. Jobson entered the gate and called
cheeriIy to him. When he turned and
looked at her he pretended that he had to
clutch at the railing Of the front steps to
keep from falling down, and he glared fix
eddy at her hat for fully ninety seconds be
fore he was able to say word Then he
gasped:
zard?'
Holding down her discontinue as best
she could, Mrs. Jobson smiled and replied
TITS the very latest thing, and
--latest. eh?' broke in Mr.. Jobson. You
bet it's late It's pretty late In the day for
hiking through the streets of Washington
with the whole carcass Of bird of prey
stuck up on the top of her head. And
carrion bird at that! Lenrme tell you some
thing. In nearly every state in the Union
that i know anything about there's heavy
fine for killing buzzards. because they're
natural-born garbage eradicators, and for
all l know there's such law in the Dis
trict of Columbia, so that you're more than
liable to get pinched and fined for wearing
that carrion flyer on your head However
maybe I'm too hasty. Maybe the carcass
don't belong to the hat-perhaps some mis-
chievous kid threw 1t on top OF your head
as you walked home, Ell 2?
..Why," began Mrs. Jobson. cts the very
latest idea in millinery, straight from
Paris, to have one Of these-er-roosters on
ones hat, and it's only a little while ago
that you reproved me for not wearing more
feathers on my
Feathers, madam snorted Mr.. Jobson.
s"To my certain knowledge 1 haven't en-
ployed the word feathers for exactly TWEEN
ty-four years and nine months. I don't in
terfere with your private affairs or with
your raiment or toggery, Mrs. Jobson, but
il you think for one-eighth of a second that
you're going to ever walk out on the public
street with me while wearing that Internal
moth-eaten buzzard or nightmarish bald
eagle of the Rockies, then you've got sew
eral million more thinks a-comng. Mrs
Jobson, and I don't mind telling you SO
right now from the go-off"
However, Mr.. and Mrs. Jobson were OBJ
served stroling and gazing into the shop
windows on F street yesterday afternoon,
and Mrs Jobson was not only wearing her
rooster hat, but Mr.. Jobson was making
goo-goo eyes at 1t and outspokenly admir-
Ing Ii and comparing it in terms of auda-
ton with other hats Of a similar sort In
the milliners' windows. s. d.
Learning and Age.