The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-02-27
HER GIANT
FOLDING BED
Copyright, 1901. by C. II. LOOMS
By c. B. LOOMS

1t was against Mr. Bentley's advice
that Cora bought the giant folding bed
They lived on the sixth floor in a small
five rooms and "a bath steam-heated
all-improvements' fiat, and he said
that such a huge folding bed was out
of all proportion to the size of the bed
room. But Mrs. Bentley had set heI
heart on it, and Mr.. Bentley has not
been husband so long as to feel like
thwarting any legitimate wish.
When she went down to the store
she found she was just in time to get
one at half price. What luck! She had
expected to pay $35 for the bed, and
she got it at $25, although by what
process of arithmetic twenty-five be
comes the half of thirty-f1ve she do
not stop to inquire.
But with the reduced price of the
bed her good luck ended, and she en-
tered upon chapter of annoyance
that would have made the bed dear
a gratuity
The bed people were just moving out
and were too busy to send the bed
home. Five separate expressmen re-
fused to stir their wagons when they
learned that it was a giant. She began
to wish that it was trundle bed. But
at last an expressman who was Just
starting In business and who was
therefore inexperienced contracted for
81 to deliver it.
She reflected that the salesman had
told her that it was a very convenient
size, as one side of the room did not
need to be papered when the bed was
up, for it took up the entire wall space.
So she went and waited for the bed
with all the ardor of a small child
Every time the dumb waiter blew she
ran out to see If they were trying to
send 1t up that way, but when 1t final
ly arrived after a wait of four hours
II came in at the front door.
After ten minutes or SO Mrs. Bentley
heard mastodonic footsteps on the
stairs, the swish of tearing wall paper,
the crash of failing globes, and she
knew that they were bringing the bed
up stairs. So did all the other fat
jewellers. When she looked over the
staircase. there were from three to
four heads beneath her, all looking
down.
The arrival at different landings was
punctuated by the crash of glass and
the fall of plaster. And on the third
floor the bed fell on one of the men.
Luckily he was fat German, and he
escaped with barked shin and mis-
laid temper.
Long before that there was string
OF home returning heads of families
separated from their little ones by the
Chinese wall of a bed Those who
were athletic enough climbed over and
escaped to their apartments but the
rest had to content themselves with
throwing kisses to their beloved ones
and telling them not to despair.
Mrs. Bentley had not hitherto known
there were so many people living in
the house. The stairs were black with
them, and the bed moved with the de-
liberation of glacier.
When the men reached the fourth
floor, they elamored for beer, and Mrs.
Bentley, being inexperienced, sent for
two bottles, which were brought in by
the janitor's son.
The two men sat down, or. rather, up,
way up on the bed and opened bottle
apiece amid groans from the belated
fiat jewellers who lived above the third.
1t is probable that they had already
sOlaced themselves with beer, for they
became very merry and loquacious aft
er the bottles had been emptied, and
many of their jokes would not have
been allowed at variety theater.
There is a saying that there is al
ways room ut the top. This did not
pro Ye to be the case in regard to the
giant bed The hallway ut the top fiat
was joint affair, two suits opening
on it, and it was the narrowcst in the
building. When the men finally arriy-
ed with their tremendous load, they
found that 1t was going to be Chinese
puzzle to get into Mrs Bentley's. They
shattered the last globe and then sat
down on the stairs to ponder.
They finally came to the conclusion
that they could not get 1t in unless the
door Of the opposite apartment were
opened to admit of its being slowed
around.
Mrs, Cochran was the opposite neigh
Dor She and Mrs. Bentley had been
as distant as such contiguous fiat
jewellers could be. Their bows in the
hall were as icy as the hall itself Mrs.
Cochran thought Mrs. Bentley fool
ish little new wife. and Mrs. Bentley
thought Mrs. Cochran common.
Still, there was nothing for it but to
ask Mrs. Cochran to open her front
door and let the man swing the bed
into the doorway for just one moment.
The fat man rang her bell. She open
ed the door, with fire in her eyes. She
had been trying to get the youngest to
sleep, and the constant humping and
crashing and the objurgations and
berry laughter of the expressmen had
rolled the not too placid waters of her
disposition to foaming point.