Middletown transcript., 1902-09-06
nerrne Atkins Practical Joke.
BYE s. BILLIARD

from somewhere out west--Michigan /
think it was. The old lady made out
thatshe was some distant relative Of Mrs.
Crocker's mother.
t'The son was kind Of d curious speci-
men. He was somewhere about thirty
/ should think, and claimed he was su-
perintendent of the schools in the western
town where he lived. He was kind OF
what you'd call q Iady-man. He had
sort Of dainty womanish ways about him,
voice like girls, and soft, white
hands, which he was forever rolling and
fondling together. To the contrary, he
had luxuriant crop of sunny brown
whiskers, which reached down to the
middle of his vest. He called his mother
--m-u-ther, sort Of drawing it out, and
was always referring to her when he said
anything; it was m-u-ther this, and m-u-
ther that. He kind Of made US all tired.
s'Well, it happened that on the day
these strangers arrived Jim Crocker, in
company with some of his academy class
mates, had made trip to neighboring
town to attend some kind of an enter
tainment. He had gone away shortly
after dinner, and was not expected to ar
rive back until quite late that evening.
"They had to change around some to
make sleeping room for these strangers.
Jim Crocker slept down stairs in a bed
room off from the sitting room, Mrs.
Crocker put the old lady's son to sleep in
Jim's room.
"As there was no other way to tell him,
without sitting up for him, Mrs. Crocker
wrote note and pinned it up near the
lamp where Jim would see it when he
came in, telling him that they had put
stranger in his room to sleep, and for him
to go upstairs and sleep with Herme.
swell, Herme had taken note of all of
this, and the opportunity for him to
work off one Of bis jokes was to good to
let 60 by. So what did Herme do, after
everybody had gone to bed, but take
down the note that Mrs. Crocker had left
for Jim and pin another one in its place.
This note that Herme pinned up read
something like this: Jim, that Herme
has got hold of set of false whiskers,
and has put them on and gone to bed in
your room, 80 don't let him frighten you;
he ought 70 be thrashed." Herme imi-
tated Louise's writing and signed Louise's
name to the note.
"You see Herme felt that Jim was
about ready to pitch into him if he tried
any more funny business on him, and he
knew that Jim would think it the most
natural thing in the world for Louise to
warn him if she knew of anything of the
kind, because ever since the piano racket
she wouldn't hear anything more of
Herme's practical joking.
"Well, along about midnight Jim came
home, and saw the note. AS he read the
note he smiled kind of grimly, and then
stopped for minute to think what he
would do. If Jim had happened to
think of it, it might have occurred to him
that it didn't sound exactly like Louise
to say that Herme ought to be thrashed;
still he knew that she was provoked at
Herme, and was never suspicious for
moment that everything was not just as
the note stated.
Finally Jim made up his mind, and
taking off his shoes, he stepped softly to
the door of his room, which was open a
little ways, and looked in; yes, there was
his whiskers stretched out in the bed.
You see, Jim rarely lighted lamp in his
room, going to bed by the light of the
sitting room lamp, and Herme had taken
this into consideration when he laid his
plans.
Then Jim drew back, and went quietly |
out into the kitchen. There he took
off one of his stockings, and going into |
the pantry he flied the stocking with |
couple of scoops of cornmeal; this made |
a very respectable imitation of sand
bag. Then he happened to spy pail Of |
SCOT, with a brush in it, that had been
lett behind the stove by some one who
had been cleaning out the chimney the
day before. Jim hesitated minute, and
then deciding that it was no more than
Herme deserved, he took the brush and
worked it round in the pail until he got
It well covered with SCOT, and then with
The stocking of corn-meal in one hand and
The brush full of SCOT in the other. he
stepped softly back into the sitting room.
he turned the lamp down a ways, and
'hen tlptoed into his room around to the
'lde of the bed where the supposed
derme was stretched out.
1t was so dark in the room that Jim
Jaw nothing about the appearance Of the
elbow in bed to make him think it wasn'.
derme, and reaching down he grabbed
lis whiskers and gave them good strong
,ull.
"The fellow was sound, but when bis
were yanked he came right m b
o a sitting position with gasp of sur
rise. Just as he did SO, Jim daubed
nm across the face couple of times
Nth the SCOT brush.
"Well, you can just imagine how sur
'rised he was; he hadn't the least idea
q the world what was being done to
i'm. He opened his mouth to let out
yell, but just then Jim gave him
mother slap with the SCOT brush, the !
rush went part way into his mouth
nd the SCOT nearly strangled him. He
It out couple of noises such as Won !
light hear when two dogs are fighting
nd then made frantic effort to iump
ut of bed.
"Just then Jim hit him good sound
rack over the head with his cornmeal /
lub. That settled it, the fellow thought
e was being murdered, and be let loose
piercing yell that woke up everybody
i the house. Jim hit him one more
rack that burst the stocking, and the