davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
Wantnd 10 Know.

Congressman bingham Ia telling
about the handsome and popular wifo
OF a senator who has been we'll 10 tho
fore Ia Washington AFFAIRS since last
December. Mrs. Senator was recently
accosted NJ a fashionable reception by
an overdrcssed, affected woman. tho
wife OF a western lobbyist, and asked.
"Hayo we met before2 Your face
seems familiar to me-"
u do not think we've mot" replied
Mrs. Senator graciously, Perhaps
you've seen my pictures There have
been many OF Thorn In the magazines
recently"
That's itl" exclaimed the stranger.
"Gye seen you In the magazines, And
want you TO tell me, u you will. Is
that soap you indorso really as good
as you say Il isg'
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
His Private Nlew.

wederly-Here's an item about a
man who kept his bank account In
his wlfe's name.
Mrs. Wederly-Thats as Il should
De. All men are not fools.
wederly-of course not. my dear.
There are still a few old bachelors
left.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
sourAeaN PHILOSOPHY.

Any sort OF weather Is good weather
des 80 long ez you got health enough
to be happy
We don't need long sermons In dis
hot weather. Des show a sinner a
thermometer en- he'll know what's
ahead Of him.
DIS ole wor is dom des de bes'
what II kin. De only trouble Is. folks
won't give It Twin chance.-Atlants
Constitution.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

"There IN an acquaintance Of mine"
remarked the doctor. who gives him.
self airs because he was given up to
die thirty years ago and has kept
himself alive I'M now by taking oxy.
gen"
How old is he now" asked tho
professor
"Over So"
"He's what you would call an oxy.
genarlan, IL he?" said the professor.
looking at him with halfshut eyes.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
When You Put Il That wsv.

Argumentative 2erson--It seems to
me this theory Of the Immortality OF
the soul is based merely on a selfish
hope. It has no philosophical basis
Can you see any reason why I, for In.
stance. should be perpetuated In an.
other state OF exlstence7
Conclllatory Person-No, / confess
can't.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY
JOKES AND WlTTlcisMs That
HAVE PLEASANT FLAVOR.
Youngsters Ingenious Device for
Keeping Baby oulet-Baehelor's
Idea Of the Family seeptor-Hsr
Reason.
The Bachelors Idea.

"Of course" said the bachelor.
thoughtfully. there can be no such
thing as joint rule In a family. Some
one must be the head"
True. but the scepter passes from
one TO another"
Howl"
well. at the beginning OF married
life the husband holds It. then II
gently and unobtrusiyely passes TO the
wife and he never gets II back again"
"she keeps Il for ever"
"Oh. no; the baby gets IL next"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Mrn Meadowland (eariy morning.
! guess that city gentleman we took
70 board for the summer amt much
used TO travelin' In the cars He
must a been all tagged out when he
got here yesterday. though he didn't
say nothln' about a.
Farmer Meadowland-He looked
CHEEKY enough.
Mrs. Meadowland-Ye but here Il
Is most 4 o'clock. and breakfast all
ready and he haln't walked up yet"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
PIausIbIe supposltIon.

Isn't It awful how thin Mr.. Hen.
peck Is now2" remarked Mrs. Gabble
TO her husband. And he used to be
80 stout"
Perhaps" chlmed in little Willie.
remembering his trouble with his bi.
cycle tlres-"perhaps his wife forgets
to blow HIM up regular, like you said
she used to"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
THE LAND OF DEATH

~7RAN cHACo. the most mys
II" terioua spot on the American
- conilnent and possibly In tho
l-a1J world, has claimed anotbs ~
band OF victims; again mo
Pilemayo river has proved Itself d.
serving Of the title given to It by tho
natives OF Paraguay. Argcntln and 80.
hvia-itivcr OF Death
The las. ,ictims ~ tho unknown
place are tho famous Italian explorer.
ugsdo Bosgiais and bis party. From
Asuncion In Paraguay the news has
reached American geographers that
TIE party has been oncially pro
nounced dead
With the staying of Bogglano. Gran
ChAco, trIumphantly keeping rs
secret. has successfully denod Ave
nations France. Spain Germany. n.
aly and Paraguay Each OF them
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Truly" says the patient who Is be.
ing skln-grafted surgical science is
wonderful thing"
1T U.s." says the friend who Is help.
ing out with the required skin. First
they skin me and then they graft you;
but after you get well and they send
in the bill you'li find that you've been
skinned for their graft. Judge
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Say" she cried suddenly. as the
bashiul young man backed into the
nearest chair. you must think you're
a bird"
Beg pardon" he stammered. Il
don't understand what
YOU'RE on my haiti abe shrieked.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

do yOu suppose that II was a crat
apple2" asked Eve as they were dis
GUESSING tho unfortunate contre temps
No" sneered Adam. with a pointed
glare, 1T was lobster applet"
Cufing little Abel. he passed OUT
into the night, while Eve wept bitter
ly. realizing that slang was now to bs
added to her other troubles.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
Know Il WaaaErauh.

He (doubtmlly)-There's a-little
frockle on your cheek. don't you know.
II have heard .ha. freckles can bo
removed by kissing.
She-Oh that II a fraud. Cousin
Tom and have been experimenting
on that all summer.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

such carelessnesa is little short OF
criminal" Numbered Dr. Price.Price.
angrily.
"oh. Doctor" sobbod Mrs. Sassiety.
Lieder's nurse girl. do you blame mo
for the baby's lllness?"
Most assurodly, You should know
better than to leave Il alone in tho
care OF its mother even for a mo.
ment."
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
The Small Brother.

II heard him call you 'Duckle.'" an.
nounced the small brother.
We'll, what OF IT, demanded his
sister dehantly.
"Oh. nothin' much" answered tho
small brother Il was only thinkln'
Eaybe It's because of the way you
walk. but II amt very nice OF him"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
And the Joke Maa Ruined.

The facetlous boarder had the train
all laid for killing joke.
ITS wonder" he said, that you
didn't serve up this duck feathers and
ALL"
The next time" said the landlady
with marked emphasis, I'm serve her
up bill anu ALL"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Mrs. Benham-The paper tells OF n
bad accident.
Benham-What kind Of an accldent7
Mrs. Benham-A woman's dress
took fire and was ruined and the WON.
an was 30 badly burned that she will
not recover.
Benham-I don't suppose she wants
to recover II her dress is ruined.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

What" asked the dreamer, would
you do II you could be king for a
day."
"I?' answered the practical man:
"Td borrow enough money to live on
for the rest OF my life"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Fond Mother listening 10 baby's
cries. What n sweet.toned voice she
has, dear! she'l be a splendid singer.
We must send her TO Italy and have
her voice cultivated"
Husband urritahly. from behind tho
evening paper1: Send her now"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

why do you call him Caln?" In
quired Adam.
Because the little darling can't be
beat" replied Eve. with feminine
logic.
Thus was the Sugar Controversy
started In Paradise; the young man's
subsequent career leaving II an open
question.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Eyes" said the head Of the firm,
Miss Addio Is a good bookkeeper. but
she makes some queer mistakes"
What for instanceY" asked the ST.
lent partner,
"Wen. she enters our messenger
boys wages under the head OF run
ming expenses,
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

well. I'm glad this rag-tlme music
Is getting out Of date" remarked tho
business man. I'm sure 1t gave me
Indigestion
''NOnsensei"
Fact The orchestra at the res
taurant where take my lunch always
played II, and | couldn't help keeping
time with my Jaws"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
REPORTERS WANTED

ana also CORRESPONDENTS sverywhsre
To collect useful ideas and experiences
about the health and care OF children.
lhySlc'ans, nurses, teachers, parents.
brothers, sisters, invalids. and ali Other
friends OF the little ones are Interested
IA lhls work Employment for 10 min
uteS To 10 hours a day and free text.
books with free course OF study bv
hall are given our regular reporters.
"a oVe outht, which is really worth dol
lars 20 anyone, will be mailed prepaid
until October IS, 1909, for use in SILVER
or stamps. Address
iSttohhArION EXCHANGE, Roam n
400 LAKE street CHICAGO. ILLINOIS.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
nu.rnrowded Already.

"she's Just crazy to go on tho
stage"
Then she'd better not What tho
stage needs most is Sane actors"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

Judge-what proof have we that
this man is absentmindedy Attorney
Why. he actually stopped his auto
mobile at a watering fountain.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29
A Catastrophe.

A prlm maiden Indy OF Gloucester
Met bull which ran after and touces-
ter,
Though she landed all right.
She was near dead with fright
And the shock to her feelings Il eou-
cester.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-08-29

had lived almost constantly In the
Widest parts OF the continent He
WAS the nrst man 20 send out from
the depths bf Patagonia the report
OF the possible existence there OF
monstrous pnimal, the mylodon, a
giant sloth as great as an OK, that
ann SURVIVED from prehistoric days
he reportgl subsequently that one
evonIng ne had even shot at some
huge creature that might have been
n. But ns hide turned his bullet
and the gloom OF the forest made pur'
suit impof sible.
uamon i.iaia, thus on the threshold
possibly OF an epochal discovery I'm
modern world history, set hts face TO.
ward ri Gran Chaco lie passed he
You'd the utiermost frontier OF human
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
<hlprelners

is for sale at all druggists-5oc and 81
a bottle; the dollar size contains three
times the quantity of the small size.
If your druggist hasn't it we will send
Halpruner's by prepaid expressage on
receipt of price.
Halpruner Med. Mfg. Co., z8 Cali
fornia ST., San Francisco, Cal. 81
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
RUSHING WORK ON
NEW CABLE TANK
Preparations Bang Made to Store
Many M'les of Spare
Cable.

Work is being rushed at the cable
company's property at the end of the
Railway wharf in order that the new
tank for housing $50 miles of spare
cable may be completed by the time the
Silvertown arrives here. The big &C.
ment cistern has been completed, is
water-tight, and in readiness to hold
the cable, but the building which is to
cover it is only partially completed.
A large square building is being
erected over the big circular tank. The
floor of this building will form the COW
er of the tank, and in its center a
square hatch about Sx16 feet in size
has been constructed. Machinery will
be installed about this to lay the cable
into the tank and to pay it out again
when it becomes necessary to use the
spare cable in repairing any break that
may occur in the oversee cable. The
building is being constructed of cor
rugated iron and timber.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
Shipping Notes.

Hanamaulu mill started grinding On
December 2.
The Koloa mill started grinding on
December @
The steamer Noeau brought 1851
bags of sugar on Saturday.
Fine weather on the Kauai coast re-
ported by the steamer w. G. Hall.
The oil-hurner Nevadan will leave
here on the evening of December 16 for
San Francisco.
The oil-burner Enterprise had not
arrived at Hilo when the Kfnau left
the Rainy City.
Three hundred car loads of oranges
have been purchased in California for
shipment to Australia.
The purser of the steamer. w. G.
Hall reports 1922 bags of sugar ready
for shipment left on Kauai.
The bark S. c. Allen passed Port
Townsend on November 81 on her
voyage from Seattle TO Honolulu.
The Oceanic steamer Zealandia was
scheduled to leave San Francisco at :
p. m. on December 6Nfor Honolulu.
| The ship Hawaiian Isles, which
went ashore on the Delaware coast, wa:
relocated and later towed to Philadel
phia.
The steamer w. G. Halls freight
consisted of 6,1O5 bags of sugar, Al
packages sundries, three hogs, and Al
bags of pia.
The C1audine's cargo from Mau
ports consisted of Is sacks of corn
% hogs, 1O2 packages hides, and g
packages of sunaries.
The steamer w. G. Hall lei5 tn
steamer Mikahala at Waimea. TIL
latter was loading K S. NJ. sugar, sa
had 1000 bags on board.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
SAILORS CHEEREO
CAPTAIN ROTTER
Norwegians Who Battled Storms
in the Andromeda Left
Yesterday.

Seldom is so much friendship shown
as was shown on Sunday morning by
the sailors of the dismasted bark An
dromeda for Captain Rotter. The
sailors were on board the Norwegian
bark Excelsior, which is about to sail
for the Sound. They are on their way
home and will start on the second
stage of their journey under the guild
ance of the Norwegian consuls on the
Sound.
AS the vessel was about to be towed
out by the Fearless Captain Rotter
shook hands with every one of the men
who fought with him for their lives
in the terrible cyclone which came
eda over three months ago. On that
occasion the vessel barely escaped
complete destruction only by the
action Of Captain and crew in cutting
the sticks overheard. The men appre-
ciated the Captains able work III nav
igating the dismasted hulk to this port
AS Captain Rotter left the Excelsior
yesterday the men gave him rousing
cheers, and when a Norwegian cheers
in rousing way it is rousing indeed.
At 9:15 the Fearless towed the YES
sci out the channel Captain Rotter
went out on the Fearless and the men
did some more cheering off the chan
mel. The Excelsior had a fair wind
with which to start on her voyage.
Captain Rotter is now left alone
aboard the Andromeda. He has every
thing to himself, and, of course, has to
do his own cooking. He will stay by
the vessel until she is sold or other
wise disposed of.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
THREE MORE TANKS
ARE TO BE ERECTED
The Steamer Nevadan Brought
Material for Them on Her
Last Trip.

The Railway wharf presented a
busy scene all day yesterday and dur
ing last night as a big cargo of gen
eral merchandise and steel plates and
pipes were being discharged from the
oil-burner Nevadan, which arrived
from San Francisco on Saturday. The
plates are to be used in construction of
more oil tanks at Iwilei and the pipes
are to be used in laying another pipe
line to those tanks.
The LOO large steel plates will be
a sufficient number to build three
tanks. The work of discharging them
was slow as the plates are clumsy to
handle, and only one plate could be
swung from steamer to wharf at one
time They were loaded direct to fiat
cars which will be used in transport
ing them from the wharf to Iwilei.
The new tanks are to be erected for
the Union Oil Company. When they
are put up the tanks at Iwilei will
number six and will be capable of
holding many ship loads OF fuel OIL
Officers of the steamer Nevadan state
that oil as a fuel has exceeded in use
fulness the fondest expectations that
anyone had. With oil the schedule
time of a steamer can be carried out to
the letter is there is no danger of d
strike of coal passers, of getting poor
coal, or of running out of fuel, as the
vessel can easily carry more than
enough oil to last for a round trip be-
tween San Francisco and Honolulu and
Kahului.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
Crying for Help
Lots of it in Honolulu But
Daily Growing
Less.

Backache is one of the first indica-
lions of kidney trouble.
It is the kidneys first cry for help.
Heed it.
Doan's Backache Kidney Pills are
what is wanted.
Are just what overworked kidneys
need.
They strengthen and invigorate the
kidney: help them to do their work;
never fail to cure any case of kidney
disease.
Reed the proof from Honolulu citi-
zen.
Mr.. Charles Comey, of Cyclemere
street, this city, one of the many per-
sons who have tried Doan's Backache
lates his experience thus: Il have been
a hack driver for number of years
past and this is an occupation in
| which, through exposure to weather
and much jumping up and down from
| the vehicle, one is particularly liable to
kidney complaint. I suffered myself
| from a lame back for a long while, and
| in my anxiety to get rid of it tried
several things which did not reach the
root of my trouble. An advertisement
acquainted me with what grand work
| Doan's Backache Kidney Pills were
| doing, and I got some of them at the
| HOLSTER Drug Co.'S store. 1 used then
and with very much profit, for they re
lieved my back wonderfully"
Doan's Backache Kidney Pills ar
for sale by all dealers or sent by mai
on receipt of price, so cents per box
by the HOLSTER Drug Co., Honolulu
wholesale agents for the Hawaiian
Islands
Remember the name Doan's and tax
no other.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08

You certainly do not enjoy the
nastiness of 1.-THE choking, hawking,
splitting and coughing up of phlegm-
nausea and the bad breath catarrk
causes.
Now, why don't you get cured OF
catarrh?
Don't you believe it can be cured ,
Doctor Halpruner knows positively
that it is durable, because he has cured
many cases of long-standing chronic
catarrh.
Hal pruner's Wonderful Medicine is
SO made of such ingredients and just
the right way to relieve catarrh at once,
and cures chronic cases with continued
treatment.
Because doctors have not cured you,
and because other medicines gave you
no relief, is no reason why you should
misjudge Halpruner's Wonderful Medi-
cine and no reason why you should
hold any prejudice against it when you
know nothing ofiits wonderful merits.
Halpruner's is different from other
medicine--it cures.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
NOTICE OF LOST CERTIFICATE.

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT
certificate No 174S for $50 shares of the
capital stock of McBryde Sugar Co.,
Ltd, standing on the books of the said
Company in the name of E. H Wode-
house, has been lost, and transfer OF
the same on the books of the said
Company has been stopped. All per-
sons are warned against negotiating
purchasing or dealing with said GER
tifcate. Said shares are transferable
only by endorsement on said certificate
and surrender of the same and the is
sue of new certificate. No title viii
pass to the finder of said certificate
Said certificate if found should be de.
livered to the undersigned.
E. H. WODEHOUSE.
6343 P. O. Box 1888, Honolulu.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
yhe Steamer Nevadan.

The oil-burner Nevadan, Weldon,
arrived from San Francisco Saturday
morning, bringing a general cargo and
cold storage goods of $500 tons. OF
this cargo $500 tons is being discharg-
ed at Honolulu and the remainder will
be discharged at Kahului. The steamer
will leave some time tonight for Ka-
hului to discharge her cargo and take
in a part of load of sugar.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-12-08
Schooner W. II Marston Spoken.

The schooner W. H Marston, bound
from San Francisco to this port, was
spoken on Wednesday by the oil
burner Nevadan. The schooner WAS
then out ten days from the Coast.
After leaving the Marston the Nevadan
encountered Gains, and it is probable
that the schooner also struck these
and may be delayed in arriving here.
Rock Island Argus., 1902-08-06
ou,o, Relief for Asthma Sufferers.

Foley's Honey and Tar affords i'm
mediate relief to asthma sufferers in
the worst stages and if taken in time
will effect a cure. All druggists.
Rock Island Argus., 1902-08-06
To NV FRIENDS

1t is with joy tell you what Kodol
did for me. i was troubled with my
stomach for several months. Upon
being advised to use Kodol, I did so,
and words cannot tell the good it has
done me. A neighbor had dyspepsia
so that he had tried most everything.
I told him to use Kodol. Words of
gratitude have come to me from him
because recommended it.-George
w. Fry, Viola, Iowa Health and
strength of mind and body depend on
the stomach and normal activity of
the digestive organs. Kodol, the great
reconstructiye tonic, cures all stom-
ach and bowel troubles, indigestion,
dyspepsia. Kodol digests any food
you eat. Take a dose after meals.
All druggists.
Rock Island Argus., 1902-08-06
ORGANIZING NEW CHURCH
Local Ministers Interested In Work at
walker Station.


y meeting of the citizens of Walk
er station has been called for Friday
night of this week. Its purpose viii
be the organization of an English
Lutheran church at that point, the
growing needs of the community for
religious facilities for some time hav-
ing called for aid. OF late there
have been services part of the time
in English. Rev. J. y. Jesperson,
manager of the Augustana book CON
cern, and Rev. c. f. Hotfsten have
had charge of the religious work in
that neighborhood.
The people of the community will
now organize a church of their own
and will thus get contribution of
$500 from the Rock Island mission
district which they could not draw
until their organization. Services
for the present will continue to be
held i'm the Grinnell school, although
that must soon be given up to ac-
commodate the congregation which
| in a-few years is expected to need a
church. The work at Walkers Sta
ton is already we'll started and the
new church will have about p mem
bers to begin with. \ Sunday school
of 30 pupils is now in eXistanee there
and the Ladies' Aid society also lends
cosmopolitan tone to the locality,
strengthened by the maintenance of
Luther League.
Rock Island Argus., 1902-08-06
LABOR HOLIDAY WAS
FOUNDED 20 YEARS AGO

All labor papers TEEN with articles
on the preparations being made by
organized labor this year to fittingly
celebrate the Goth anniversary of the
establishment of a holiday for the
toiler exclusively.
Among the reasons given in the
labor press, why Labor day should
be observed more than ever this year,
none is more potent than that it is
"A demonstration to the world at
large that the laboring man cares
for what he has already attained.
and that he proposes to have some
more of the good things of life. 1t
will be just 20 years ago this year
Sept. THAT the day was established
through the agitation of p. j. Ma
guire. then national secretary of the
journeymen carpenters.
Since then the ranks of organized
labor have been increased many
thousand fold, and professions and
demonstrations have become univer-
sal.
The executive council of the Amer
lean Federation of Labor recon-
mends to all organized workers in
national. state central. and local
unions that at their Labor day eel
ebrations they concentrate their at
tention to discussion of the aboli-
ton of injunctions in labor disputes
and the passage of resolutions de-
manding at the hands of congress
and the legislatures of their respect
i've states the enactment of laws con
forming to that purpose" 1t further
recommends in the same circular
that at the conventions of national
unions and .federations and at the
regular meetings of local and federal
unions and central bodies such reso-
utions be passed and copies sent to
senator's. congressman and legisla-
tors.