davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
WHY FARMERS SHOULD
STAY ON THE FARM.

II Is for the interest of the general
farming community that the owners
of farms continue to reside on them.
The mania for moving to town and
rusting out what remains of life Is
very destructive to good farms and
good farming methods. This policy
seems to be Of comparatively recent
birth in the United States. and we
hope it will have its run quickly. We
have heard great deal about how to
keep the boy on the farm, but we wish
some one would tell US how to keep
the old man ON the farm. When a
good farmer quits farming and moves
out of a community of good farmers
he lnflicts a great injury on that To-
cality. He makes life less endurable
to those that are left. A locality given
up to tenant farming can hardly be
prosperous one. Every farm is thence
forth compelled to carry double. Let
the old men remain on the farms and
improve them till their homesteads
are illustrious examples of what good
farming can accomplish. Shall the
farms be allowed to go to decay? Ten.
ant farming will help to run them
down. The eyes Of the owners are
needed to keep them up.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

half OF the time. One OF these howl
ing transformers, heavy villain of
the piece, at home in Uncle Toms
Cabin or Ten Nights in Barroom.'
He was the joke of the season on the
Rialto in Gotham. | even thought Sc
riously of utilizing him in my great
play as the seedy actor who carries
the mysterious secret with him
through five acts, but when he found
there was a chance of him being i'm
mortalized. his price for sittings went
away up. and l discovered something
better than Hamfatter."
Good Heavens! was that his
manner"
Certainly not That's what they
call all heavy tragedians Of the barn
storming variety. Let me see," plac-
ing a finger alongside his nose. a la
Irving. now / have it-bend your
head lower, for that fellow has keen
ears--it was Frederick Davenport Ma
cauley"
Indeed. Very suggestive, consider
ing his occupation in life. What a
man he is, to be sure; capable Of hav-
ing so many names. and filling such
various stations in life. Why, when
knew him, four or five years ago. he
was called Captain Nathaniel Hedge"
What! you knew him. them"
Il saw him-that is. / am almost
dead certain it is the same man; and
expect to prove 1t presently"
Where was this?"
in South America"
I'm Valparaiso"
Come. what makes you ask THAR
in surprise.
Il remember him talking of being
concerned in little war scare that oe-
Cured down there-he has always
been the same boaster, you know"
well, that seems to prove the iden-
tity. l never in all my life heard OF
SO stupendous rascal"
Say what was he doing down in
Santiago, or was it Valparaiso"
THE latter, on the coast, the most
enterprising city along the Pacific.
south of San Francisco. What was he
doing? Well, about the last saw of
him. he was dancing a Scottish horn
pipe"
yes, he has his merry moments
when the liquor is in"
But this was a unique affair-before
an audience that must have numbered
thousands"
God! that would spur even so
poor an actor to do his best"
"And Captain Nathaniel did his very
best. II. as you say. he has been an
actor, as well as a miner sea captain,
coffee planter. Spectator. and Heaven
knows what not. he certainly had the
chance Of his life to bring out braves.
However, don't think he took half
as much interest in the affair as some
of the rest of us did"
He didn't, en-? | never knew he
was acquainted with modesty. How
was that?" asked Artemus. eagerly.
We'll" said Charlie. dryly, you see.
he was being hung"
Ito be continued)
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
THE PROPER WAY TO
HEAD APPLE TREES.

We notice that in modern orchards
there is a great tendency to head the
apple trees low. This Is certainly q
great advantage over the old way,
where the tree tops were put up as
high as possible. necessitatirg long
ladders in harvesting and making II
impossible to get at some of the fruit.
Such trees, where still existing, offer
obstacles to both the harvester and
the sprayer. In the latter operation
a low-headed tree is more thoroughly
treated than high-hea.ed tree can
be. The tops can be low and yet
enough room can be left under the low.
err branches to Go the ordinary work
that the trees require ia the way Of
Cultivation. This mean should be
sought. We must do much Of our
work with horses and therefore the
lower branches should not be allowed
to lie upon the ground. as we have
seen them in some orchards.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
TOO MUCH IRRIGATION
HURTS WESTERN LANDS

Word comes from the West that
some farmers are running their lands
by over-irrigating them. The land
should be given the water it needs and
no more. That applies to the humid
as well as to the arid states. The
constant downward movement of wa
ter teaches the fertility out Of the up
per soil where 1t is available and car
ries 1t into portion Of the soil where
1t is not available. In years of moder-
ate rain the fertility works toward the
surface of the soil, while in years of
heavy rain it works away from the
surface. IL too much water Is applied
in irrigation great deal Of the fer
tility is carried to subterranean chan.
nels or to surface streams. II just
enough water is used there is little
surplus to drain away and most of the
fertility carried down into the sub
stratas is subsequently brought back.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
CREAMERY SloP GOOD
FOR IRRiGATlNG LAND.

In an exchange creamery man tells
how last year he used the waste water
from his creamery to irrigate gar
den of fruits and flowers. He says he
built little dams and so distributed his
waste water, using cross burrows. He
used only enough water each day to
permit of its being absorbed by the
ground or evaporated by the sun and
air. He claims to have reaped rich
rewards in fruit. vegetables and flow
ers. The creamery waste contains
doubtless much plant food and we can
see that 1t would naturally produce
beneficial conditions among the grow
ing plants. But the great advantage
doubtless was in getting rid of the
sinking drain as public nuisance. II
the foul smells OF such drain can be
changed into the perfume of flowers.
the matter is worthy the considera-
tlon of every creamery man.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
LEssLER's STORY ABOUT CHoATE

Great Lawyer Asked for Information
About Trial Proceeding.
Mr.. Montague Lessler has still an
other story on Ambassador Choate.
which he declares is little newer
than the first ascribed to him.
Once" said the agile and capable
New Yorker, Il was attorney for peo-
pie with interests opposed to those of
the Standard Oil company. There was
a preliminary examination of some of
the magnates of that company. includ-
ing Mr.. Rockefeller. Finally some of
Mr. Choate's clients were drawn into
the controversy. and they refused to
answer the questions | put to them.
The tangle become very intense, and
1t was necessary to have long argu-
ment before the judge. At that time
Mr.. Choate himself was In New Jer.
sey arguing Tobacco Trust case. and
we had to postpone our case for over a
week. Oh, my! how | studied and
fortified myself for the argument
against the great Choate. Certainly,
you can imagine how worked.
well, the day arrived. Mr.. Choate
came. They pulled him off in one cor
ner of the room and poured lot of
talk in his ear. Then | spoke for
about an hour and half, making the
effort of my life. and Mr., Choate fol-
lowed for about an hour.
THE following evening Mr.. Choate
was to deliver an address before the
College of the City of New York,
where was educated. attended. Mr..
Choate sitting down was quite as tall
as | was standing.
How are you. Montague?" said he,
putting his arm around me affection
ately. please tell me what all that
fuss was about which We argued yes.
terday"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Land of the Free.

Shiny Patches-I say, Phil, what is
all this talk about the need of free
art in the United States?
Ragged Philosopher-That's all
right, Shiny, and it is one of the
things that we want to push along.
The harder we push the sooner our
turn will come. You see, this is the
land of the free, and the idea is to
be made practical in alphabetical or.
der They are going to start in with
art, and, as soon as that is out OF
the way they will take up "B," which
means beer. There's where our inter.
est comes in.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
UNIQUE FISHING DONE IN JAPAN
Black Cormorants There Take the Place
OF Rod and Line

-
OF Rod and Line.
"At the farmhouse. commodious and
hospitable, likewise clean and charm
ing, after the fashion of Japan, we
send for the boy who brings our fish,
ing tackle.
They came waddling into the yard,
the three birds with which we are to
do our fishing. Black cormorants
they are. each with a white spot be-
hind its eye. and hoarse voice, come
of standing in the water, with which
it says y'eagh whenever a stranger
makes friendly overture. The cor
morants answer to the name of Gu,
which in Japanese is something like
the only word the cormorants can say.
The boy puts them in box together
and we set off across the drifted grav-
ell to the Tamagawa. Arrived at the
stream. the boy takes the three cor
morants out OF the box and adjusts
their fishing harness. This consists of
a tight ring about the bottom of the
neck, OF loop under each wing, and
a directing line.
Two other boys take low net
They drag it down the stream, driving
the little fishes and all the rest before
1t. The boy with the cormorants goes
in advance The three birds are eager
as pointer dogs. and apparently full
of perfect enjoyment. To the right
and left they plunge with lightning
strokes. each dip bringing up a shin
ing fish. When the birds neck is full
of fishes down to the level Of the
shoulders the boy draws him in, grabs
him by the leg and shakes him uncere-
moniously over a basket until all the
fishes have Topped out.-0uting.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

"You, William," exclaimed the old
man, what you doin' on dat white
man fence? Amt you 'fraid you'll
fall OFF,"
Then, after moments thought, the
old man resumed:
But. eff you does fall off, you might
ez we'll fall on de side whar de water
millions is. You hear me, don't you?"
Atlanta Constitution.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

"The manager of our bureau has
thought out a splendid scheme for
the children's supplement"
"Eh! What is it?"
"He has had one of the artists draw
a full page picture of Mont Pelee in
action, and then, right at the summit
he has rubbed lot of explosive
chemicals. When a match is touched
to the stun the eruption occurs. The
child under five years whose photo
graph shows the smallest amount of
hair and eyebrows after the explosion
gets the first prize. Great idea, isn't
it?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
How He Won Her.

Ardent Suitor-'I lay my fortune at
your feet"
Fair Lady-"Fortune! did not
know you had money"
Ardent Suitor-I haven't much; but
1t takes very little to cover those tiny
feet"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
A Conditional DIAGNOSIS.

what is the matter with me, doc.
tori"
II fear you have a severe case OF
cephalalgy," was the reply.
Great guns, doctor. | can't AFFORD
it,"
"Oh! that's different. It's headache
same thing. You'll be all right"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Knew What Chaos Meant.

Lecturer Ton French Revolution)-
1T is impossible to imagine the chaos
that reigned-confusion and anarchy
everywhere. In our more peaceful
conditions we cannot even imagine
such a state of things"
Man at the back of the hall-"Yes,
we can, mister. Come up to our
house; we're moving"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
The Reporter Scores.

Senator Treacle-Did you tell that
reporter | had nothing to say?
Servant-Yes, sir.
Senator Treacle-I suppose he was
very much disappointed.
Servant hardly know, sir. He
said he was aware of the fact that
you never said anything but was UNI
der the impression that you never
missed an opportunity to talk.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
His own Interpretation.

do you ever expect to see Hamlet
properly played?" asked the friend.
NO. answered Mr.. Stormington
Barnes. gently; mot unless there is
something in this astral body theory
which would enable one to be in two
places at the same time"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
The Easy Mark.

Markley-You're a nice friend to
have! Why didn't you lend Burroughs
the S. he wanted?
Kraft-Why should |?
Markley-To save me. You must
have realized that he knew IL he didn't
get it from you he would from me.
You've practically robbed me of that
FLYER"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Recoanition at Last.

you are the most hateful, destable.
abominable villain | have ever nett"
exclaimed the indignant woman.
you fill me with gratitude, mad.
am" replied the gloomy traveller.
whose disagreeable manners had of.
Tended her. Il have been stage vii
lain for twenty years and yours is the
first kind word have ever had"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

'What is your choice of weapons?"
asked the duelist.
Automobiles replied our hero in
ringing tones.
But the challenger. prefering an
easy death, went into the back yard
and shot himself.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
His Conclusion.

81 understand that you have made
a life study of volcanoes" said the
interviewer.
II have" answered the scientist.
What do you regard as the most
important conclusion to be deduced
from your researches"
Simply this. II you live near a
crater that starts to smoke take
steamship passage for somewhere
else"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
REMEMBER THE DEBT
YOU OWE TO THE SOIL.

The upto-date farmer pays his debts.
One Of the debts which he does not
forget is the one he owes to the soil.
He knows that each crop which the
soil yields takes from 1t something of
its fertility, and that, unless this fer
tility is returned to the soil. 1t soon
can yield only diminished crop. So
he is very careful, year by year. to
pay back to his land that fertility
which the crops have taken from 1t.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Pinu.Pona,s Deadly Work.

What was that awful row at the
club last night?"
Dreadful. wasn't it? They were dis.
putting as to whether vellum ping-pong
rackets were better than wooden ones,
and some of them kept right on fight
ing in the ambulance on their way to
the hospital"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Would Fit Almost Any.

Miss Giddigosh-O. uncle. have you
seen the Williamses' baby? Do des-
cribe it to me.
Uncle Snark-Description! UNI
ali! Very small features, clean
shaven. red-faced, and looks like
hard drinker!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
OverWcioht.

81 wish I knew of good way to
raise bread" remarked the wife, as
she tackled one Of her biscuits at the
breakfast table.
why not try derrick. my dear?"
suggested the brutal other half of the
combination.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Exhilarating.

Friend Well. Ethel, how do you
like married life?
Ethel Observation-Disclosures sim
ply delightful. We've been married
a week and have had eight quarrels.
and got the best of 1t every time
Stray Stories.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Great Spring Season.

This has been delightful spring"
said the visiting stranger to the Bill
vile resident.
you bet ii has, was the enthusiast
tic reply. "Billy's kilt forty-two rat.
tlesnakes, an sold the rattles for fifty
cents piece"-Atlanta Constitution.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
AbundantIY OCCUPIED.

What does the society which you
have just Joined find to do?" asked
Mrs. Bizzie's husband.
"A great deal" was the answer.
After we get our organization estab
lished the question of other peoples
eligibility to membership gives US all
the work we can possibly attend to-"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Infant Prodigy.

Visitor Ito little Freddy)-Let's see
what you have learned in your school.
Now, can you tell me the differ ence
between b and C?
Freddy-Thath's eathy. A bee it'll
n inthect, an thea it'll full OF water.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Easily Overlooked.

What do you think of his nerve?"
exclaimed the young man who was no.
toriously tricky in business; ''he call.
ed me a barefaced robber."
20. well" replied the man who
knew him, probably in his excite
ment he didn't notice your mustache."
STRAY Stories.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
A Youthful Financier.

Johnny, il l give you
dime. can | trust you to convey this
note safely to your sister without any.
one seeing it?"
Johnny-"Yes-er- 1t would be
much safer for quarter
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

Lady Tin registry office)-Have you
ever minded children before?
Nurse-No. mum, but I've made
many q child mind me.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

Virginia white oak green weighs 67.7
pounds to the cubic foot in two years
tine its weight will be reduced to 49.9
pounds.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
o-cAsv Asv g eix, HfU TAsaf s.v
5 The Hum0r of Life !


"My young friend" said Senator
Sorghum, you have an exceptional
talent for speechmaking."
Yes" complacently replied the
statesman who gets a great deal of
applause from the galleries. Il feel
justified in saying that oratory is o
gift"
That's what 1t is. There are
mighty few people who can get paid
for it nowadays"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

He IL not thorough wise man who
cannot Nlay fool on occasion.
Tell everybody your business and
the devil will do 1t for you.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
One of Those Pet Phrases.

One of Those Pet Phrases.
did any of the inhabitants escape
with his life?" inquired the man who
wants the narrowing details.
Il didn't stop to ascertain" an.
swered the man who is harrowingly
exact. ut struck me that IL anybody
escaped without his life there wasn't
much use in his escaping, anyhow"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
An Untutored Impression.

islander. that the last of the Caribs
have about disappeared, owing to
numerous explosions in their vicin.
ity."
YES" answered the other. "In
other words, the Caribs may now be
regarded as civilized"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

Pat-How much wages do yez git,
Dinny?"
Dinny-"Divil clint, but me wife
gifts So a day."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
Error in Bookkeeping.

'Yes." said the head of the firm.
Miss Addie is good bookkeeper, but
she makes queer Mistakes
What for instances" asked the
silent partner.
We'll, she enters our messenger
boys wages under the head of run.
ming expenses
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26

The man who is long on wheat may
be short on dough.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
A WARRIOR BOLD.

BIZ ST. GEORGE RATHBORNE,
LvtAor OF ~Ldts Miss Millions, - "TAe Spidsrs
Wee" 'sDr. yacks Widow'," Mss Caprice" etc
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-06-26
CHAPTER vi.

Copy right 1901. Street and Smith. New York.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-01-27
POLO GAME ON MAUI

Waikiki Jan 25.--The polo game at
Bahului between teams from Makawao
and Maui Athletic clubs last Saturday
afternoon turned out to be a practice
game as anticipated. There was. how
ever, a gOodly number Of people pres
ent to witness the game, some Of them
seeing II played for the first time. In
order to initiate the Wailuku team into
the game. some Of the Makawao boys
played with the Wailuku boys. The
teams were constituted as follows:
Frank Baldwin. W. H..
Cornwell Jr., D. c. Lindsay. A. jack
son and Geo. H. Cummings. substitute,
Makawao--Louis Won Tempsky. w.
o. Aiken, Rev Canon VIM Ault, L. II.
Crook and Well. substitute.
Dr. Aiken acted as referee. The
former team easily carried off the hon
ors from the latter team. There was
quite q high wind blowing at the time
but notwithstanding, there were some
very exciting plays. Another practice
game between the same teams will take
place at the same time and place next
Saturday
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-01-27
BOXING MATCHES.

The boxing bouts in the hall above
the Club Stables Saturday night was q
successful event There were in tho
neighborhood of 800 present. The con-
testants and the results were as fol-
lows:
Bill Dole OF the L. S. S. Mohican
and Spider" Jackson of Honolulu
Draw.
Mike O'Reilly of San Francisco dc.
feated kid" Dooley of New York.
Thomas and Herbert, two colored
men from the L. S. S. Mohican, fought
a draw.
Joe GOnsalyes of Honolulu defeated
John Andrews of Honolulu.
Jack Caulheld OF the L. S. S. Mohican
and Jack Hector of Camp Mckinley
Draw.
Jimmy Fox and Jack Wecdy boxed
four exhibition rounds.
The show came to an end with three
exhibition rounds between Denver
Ed Smith and Con Mccarthy.