Waterbury Democrat., 1902-09-24

at him, and only missed his head by not more than 8 little bit, and swung hisself off to the side O the track as slick as could be and pranced away into the woods, and Cousin Dusenberry says to his fireman:
 That comes pretty ding close to bein' toler'ble smart bear!' says he, and the fireman said yes, he averaged fair to middlin'.
 "But there" said the chronicler of the news from Pochuck, skipping his knee, "I forgot to tell you that Cousin Dusen- berry Cronk was an ingineer!"
 No one seemed to have noticed the forgetfulness of the chronicler, but he cracked another finger and con- tinued:
 "'He averages fair to middlin',' says Cousin Dusenberry's fireman, and it, wouldn't surprise me none,' says he, if he was one O them bears that Jagged us one daytime that Boney SpanlSle ebaum was runnin' this same injine,' says he.
 ''The fireman was born either at the tannery or the sawmill or the oil we'll Cousin Dusenberry don't know jest which. But he was indigenious to the sile O the U. H. and w. and Q. N. coun- try.
 We was bowlin' along says the fireman to Cousin Dusenberry, up t'other side O Slashbang Bend, when see red flag at one side O the track. We didn't have much time to get stopped in says he, but we got stopped. Some O the crew stepped off to see what was the matter, but no- body turned up to explain the flaggin' except four slammin' bears,' says he, and they come out O the woods, two O them nigh the middle O the train and two O them nigh the hind end.
 Before we could holler the two bears at the middle O the train says he, had each clumb on to the train and sot the brakes tighter than jack screws, so as we couldn't start an inch. We had carload O sqlppliesfor the tannery store, and while them two bears,' says he, swas settin' the brakes on the train t'other two broke into the car and rolled out two bar'ls O pork and jugg1ed 'em off into the woods. That red flag was Jack Bunn's bandanner handkerchief that he had lost the day afore, and them bears had jest held us up with it and highway robbed us,' says he. But this bear Q your'n,' says he to Cousin Dusen- berry, averaged fair to middlin'.
 was tore little with doubt as to that fireman O mine, Aunt Sally says Cousin Dusenberry only yester- day, in spite O what had see O U. H. and W. and o. N. bears, but few days later knowed that I had wrongcd him. says he.
 They was goin' down the Sap bucket grade that day, which drops somethin' like hundred feet to the mile, and they was goin' fast. Half way down big bear come prancin' out O the woods, right in plain sight of Cousin Dusenberry. The bear jumped onto the track and waited for lem, grinnin', Aunt Sally says Cousin Dusenberry, enough to aggravate B hog butcher says he. Cousin Dusen- berry turned to his fireman and he says:
 Hold your breath, Bill,' says he. Tin goin' to 1ubricate these rails with bears grease, at a hundred miles an hour,' says he.
 Then he pulled his injine wide open, and give her all the head there was. When they reached that bear Cousin Dusenberry couldn't see the trees, they were goin' so fast. Then he holIered for brakes, but before she had slowed any what should loom up before Cousin Dusenberry but the bear, climbin' up from the cowketch- CT and comin' straight for the cab window along the runnin' board.
 Cousin Dusenberry didn't wait for the bear. He made scramble for the roof O the car behind the engine, and the fireman followed him. The bear come on, took possession O the 1 cab, shut off steam and brought the train to stop half mile further on. l Then he picked up Cousin Dusenber- l ry's dinner bucket and the freman's, both loaded to the lid with victuals, and, with bucket in each paw. stepped off O the injine and marched l into the woods with lem.
 s"That un, says the fireman to Cousin Dusenberry, T think is 8 leet1e more than the average O fair to middlin',' says he, and they climbed back into the cab and pulled ahead.
 But whether it was or not, Cousin Dusenberry Cronk's mind was made up. He see at once that railroadin' on the U. H. and w. and 0. N. was way behind the times, and he put the matter right to headquarters.
 "sHerei' says he to lem. This road ain't bcin' run right!' says he.
 They wanted to know why it wasn't.
 I "'Why,' says Cousin Dusenberry, 'runnin' your injines with COW ketch- CTS on to &@m,' says he, when there ain't cow from one end O the road to the ctherf Bears interferin' with traffic at every turn and twist in the road, and not an injine on the line l with a bearketcher on to it. says he. "And what did they do? They didn't do nothin' by cats! They jest kept right on guardin' theirselves ag'in cows, when there want cow l within 20 mile of 'em, while bears run the road jest as they dod-blame l pleased! So Cousin Dusenberry quit lem, and if that road out wonder is up