davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18
DOMESTIC rLEAsANTRIEs.

-
Brooklyn LIE; $50 she Tilted the son
Yes She thought an income better than
an Allowance"
Baltimore Herald: "Remember, my dear
brethren" said the minister, that charity
be unusually generous In your Offering this
morning"
Detroit Free Press: Miss oldgirl worth
a million)-No, sir, l will never marry you
Now, 1 trust I've made myself plain.
Cutting Hintz-lts entirely unnecessary,
l assure you.
New York Weekly: Young Husband
Seems to me 1t is costing us a great deal
Young Wife, know it is. but / can't
imagine why. l always buy everything in
very small quantities.
Harper's Bazaar: Albert-why. don't
you recollect that girl2 That's the girl you
used TO rave over last summer-called her a
poem" and all that.
Edward-By Joyel so It isl 1 never could
commit a poem to memory.
Brooklyn Life: she-You wouldn't nina
saying this over again tomorrow, would
you. dearie? l am a member of the NJ. p.
why, what does that meanY'
Moonlight proposals don't count"
Philadelphia. Press: The Maid-Do YOU
think It's unlucky to get married on a
The Bachelor-Of course. Why should
Friday be an exception?
Baltimore American: "Your new ONCE
boy may be all right. but he
So"
That's the beauty of It. II a client
calls when I've stepped out for a moment
/ have time to get back before the boy
gets through explaining where rye gone
and when I'm expected TO return"
CLEVELAND Plain Dealer; Where in tbe
world did she ever get that ugly, little.
lopsided husband of hers?"
That's one of her finds"
"One of her finds"
why, yes. Didn't you know she was a
bargain hend?'
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

By grace of the weather man, Ne
braska has been having a taste Of the
water cure.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

An occasional drouth is decidedly
preferable to a periodic downfall Of
molten lava
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

May rains have put the Nebraska
farmer beyond the danger line.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18
s~TATNMENT On cIRcsu.Ar1oN.

State OF Nebraska, Douglas County, S.:
George b T~zschuck, secretary Of The Bee
EoDisning Company, being duly sworn,
complete copies OF The Daily, Morning,
Evening n Sunday Bee printed during
lhe month VI April. 1907. was as folloMa:
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

Detroit Free Press: Miss Oldgirl worth
a million)-No, sir, 1 will never marry you
Now, I trust I've made myself plain.
Cutting Hintz-Its entirely unnecessary,
l assure you.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

Philadelphia Press: The Maid-Do YOU
think it's unlucky to get married on a
Friday2
The Bachelor-Of course. Why should
Friday be an exception?
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

Brooklyn Life: She-You wouldn't mind
saying this over again tomorrow, would
you. dearie? / am a member of the NJ. p.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

Baltimore Herald: Remember, my dear
brethren" said the minister, that charity
covereth a multitude of sins. l hope you'll
be unusually generous In your offering this
morning."
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

BROOKLYN Lite: so she Tilted the son
and married the father"
Yes. She thought an income better than
an allowance"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

New York Weekly: Young Husband
Seems to m. It is costing us a great deal
to live.
Young Wife, know It is. but / can't
imagine why. I always buy everything in
very small quantities.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

why. what does that mean7''
Moonlight proposals don't count"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

PUBLISHED EVERY MORNING.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-18

Baltimore American: "Your new ONCE
boy may be all right. but he stammers
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
ABOUT BAD SPELLING.

The Citizen has on more than one
occasion directed attention to an evil
which is of somewhat general exist
ence in our system of public educa-
ton. Public school pupils are it's
victims in great numbers. 1t is the
evil of bad spelling. The effort has
been persisted in to minimize it's sig
nificance, but sensible people who
think that the main usefulness of our
schools consists in giving to the chill
dren of the people the rudiments of a
sound English education do not take
any such false view.
1t is quite customary for poor SPELL
ers to offer as an excuse that George
Washington could not spell. AS a
matter of fact he spelled very we'll for
his time, but the spelling of many
words has changed since his day. How
ever, it is true that there have been
many persons of strong intellect and a
great deal of book knowledge who
have not spelled as we'll as the father
of his country who was himself very
far from a spelling school champion.
Even so great a master of words as
Robert Louis Stevenson was lame in
this particular. His three efforts to
spell the word catarrh were "catarh,"
"cattarrhh" and (this last in obvious
desperation) "cattarrrhhh. Persons
who are afflicted in this way consider
it very hard that the ability to spell
correctly should be made test of in
telligence and almost of respectability
Bad spelling means bad training in
ninety-nine cases out of a hundred.
Th re may be occasionally a person
who has some defect of mind that pre-
vents his doing well. but that is the
exception and not the rule. Spelling
actually can not learn to spell would
not be able to remember anything.
That is not a legitimate excuse for
most bad spoilers. They can not spell
simply because they have never given
attention and time enough to the study.
Spelling comes easily to some and is
difficult to others; but all except a
very few could learn to spell if they
should choose to give the necessary
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
Gsv Eaaherrra en-

In nearly all streams where the cur
rent is swift you will find the nets of
the caddice worms tucked down be-
tween two rocks or fastened to fiat
stone on the brink Of waterfall.
These little nets catch stray water
bugs and sometimes entangle small
fish. They are made OF silken fabric
which the worm spins with its mouth
and are shaped like funnel. the lar
ser end being pointed up stream so
that the water. rushing past, spreads
them out in. position. The nets are very
strong and quite similar In construc-
tion to spiders web. Close by his net
the little fisherman builds his home.
Lift up the nearby rocks, and under
them you will find a little bunch of
pebbles bound together by silk threads.
In among these is q small silk tube, In
which the worm lives. Were it mot for
the pebbles attached to 1t the caddice
worms home would go sailing down
the stream. AS an extra precaution he
oftentimes fastens one end of the silk
thread to large stone.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
Have You MysophobIag

Mysophobia is the scientific name for
complaint the symptoms of which
are familiar to every one. Morbid fas-
tidiousness" would be roundabout
way of expressing the same failing. "A
person suffering from mysophobia, Z"
says a medical journal, ION taking his
seat at table begins by scrutinizing
closely every article placed there for
his use. He holds his tumbler up to
the light to see if it is free from finger
marks, he scans his napkin to make
sure that it is immaculate. and one
by one each object is critically passed
in review. In advanced eases the SUI
ferer mechanically wipes the various
articles, using the napkin for TIE pur
pose" But there is compensation in
everything. and what may Le an an,
noying idiosyncrasy in guest be.
comes an undeuiable virtue in Il do.
mestic servant < hicago News,
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
TAe seven oolaeu CaHRen.

The "Seven Golden Cities" one OF
the most popular legends Of the latter
part Of the dark ages, were said to be
situated on an island west of the Afri-
can coast. The island 10 represented
as abounding in gold, with magnificent
houses and temples, ''the high towers
OF which shown at great distance"
The legend also relates that at the
time Of the conquest Of Spain and
Portugal by the Moors, when the in
habitants fed in every direction to es-
cape slavery, seven bishops, followed
by a great number Of people, took to
ships and put boldly out on the high
seas. After tossing about for some
time they landed on an unknown is
land, the famous spot which in after
years became the seat of the Seven
Golden Cities"
This island" Heylyn says, was ex-
Rctly in midocean." After all had
landed safely the wise old bishops
burned the ships to prevent their fol-
lowers from deserting and founded the
cities which have become SO famous
in song and story. This mysterious is
land was often sought by the early
navigators. Those who went in search
Of it and never returned were popular
ly believed to have been detained by
its inhabitants.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
snontinf,n Decorations.

Casparo Spontini, the composer, re-
garded himself in the light of a demi-
god, and when inspirations crowded
upon him he donned wide, togalike
gown of white silk with border OF
gold and fez Of white silk embroider-
ed in gold, from which a heavy tassel
hung down. With great dignity he sat
down before his desk, and If a grain
of dust was visible ON the paper on
which he penned his music he rang
the bell impatiently for his servant to
remove the obstacle. Spontini owned
so many medals and decorations that
they could no longer be accommodated
on his breast. At grand musical re-
union at Halle an old musician re-
marked to comrade, "See how many
decorations Spontini has, while Mozart
has not one" Spontini. who overheard
it, replied quickly, Mozart, my dear
friend, does not need them"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
The Hiwtorv OF Tnoculat1on.


Inoculation is no new thing. The
Chinese were the earliest to practice
It. They dipped plug OF cotton or rag
In the virus from pustule and placed
it in the nostril. Two ancient English
physicians, Gilbertus Angelicus and
John Of Gaddefden, both speak Of
smallpox as commonly known, but the
Chinese remedy was unknown to them
The first book on smallpox was writ
ten by a priest and physician WHO
lived at Alexandria and wrote thirty
books on physic in A. D. 683. He also
knew nothing of vaccination, but ad-
vised swimming, drinking ice water In
large quantities, saffron and warming
medicine.
The real discovery of vaccination, we
are told, was made before Jenner con-
Quoted his experiments. In the year
1774 it occurred to Benjamin Jesty,
Dorsetshire farmer, having the old no
tion about cowpox being an antidote
for smallpox, that it would serve as
we'll to be "cut'' for cowpox, SO ac-
cordingly he himself did actually ''cut"
his wife and children for that disease.
But Jesty is unknown to fame. Jen-
ner's name is blessed-and banned-by
millions.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

number of ballots rejected at every
election from some technical informal
ity. Even in this city an attempt
was made to throw a good many
ballots out at the recent election.
In some cities the number OF
rejected ballots in some precincts
have reached 10 per cent of the whole
number cast. 1t too frequently oc-
ours that such reflections are made on
insufficient grounds, and thus the re-
suit of an election might be changed.
The slow method of counting also
gives encouragement to changing of
the totals. The machine results can
be announced Immediately on closing
the polls, and thus all opportunity for
tinkering with the returns may be
taken away Voting machines would
save time, and saving time would save
money, for election expenses are very
heavy under the present system. They
would prevent any rejection of ballots
for alleged informalities, thus record
ing the wishes of the voters. The
great thing to be obtained in throwing
all possible safeguards around the
ballot box is to secure an absolutely
correct expression of the popular will.
Until the millennium comes men
will be found who will sell their votes
and men will be found who will buy
such votes. All the legislature can
do in that respect is to make it as
dangerous as possible both for buyer
and seller, but it is doubtful whether
enough votes are purchasable to over
throw the wishes of the people alto
gether. It might be in some close
precinct or county, where few votes
determine the result, but hardly
reaches the country at large or State
or Territory. Even with voting ma
chimes, purchasable votes will be
found, and while it will be impossible
to prevent this, yet the people every
where are interested in having a cor
rect record Of the expression of the
popular win, and this can best be
reached by the adoption of the ma
chimes.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
No OTense Intended.

A regular customer of certain coal
company dropped into the Office of the
firm one morning to make complaint.
''That coal you sold me for my furnace
few weeks ago." he said. lis the
worst have had in ten years. There's
a great quantity of slate in it, and
what isn't slate runs to clinkers'
Sorry to hear it, Mr.. Williams" said
the man inside the railing. ''Ill make
a memorandum Of it. Perhaps the
company will give you a rebate on it,
Taking slip of paper, he wrote a
few words on it and hung it on a hook.
The customer, happening to glance
at the slip of paper, saw this: &c. G..
Williams. Bad egg"
$50 I'm bad egg. am I?' he asked.
reddening with Indignation.
"Oh, not at all, Mr. Williams" hasti-
ly explained the clerk. THAT means
that the egg coal we sold you turns
out to be bad" \
And the customer reddened again
but not from indignation.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
ABOUT VOTING MACHINES.

After every election there is almost
universal complaint on the part of the
press and the people, of the number Of
ballots thrown out for some informal
ity. This suggests that the time for
the general adoption of voting ma
chimes has arrived. 1t may be pos
sible that no machine has yet been in
vented that will be proof against
fraud, but there are machines which
offer but little encouragement to the
fraudulent election officer Machines
have been manufactured where the
vote is correctly recorded and to
change the record would require time
In recent exhibition it was demon
strated that If time was given the
footings might be materially changed.
Even there that door for fraud is less
wide than under the present ballot sys-
tenn. Corrupt officials can always find
some way to defeat the will of the
voters If time is given. Under the
system prevailing In many of the
States, one Of the great defects is the
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
Kindred Minds.

General Thiebault says that at one
time when Napoleon was carrying out
an operation which could only be ac-
complished with absolute secrecy he
rode one day to the head of column,
where he heard a soldier say:
Faith. if | were general in chief I
know what should do"
Well" called Napoleon. what would
you doY'
The soldier unfolded his plan. 1t was
the very one which Napoleon himself
had evolved.
"Rascalr' cried the general. "Will
you hold your tongue?
After the battle which had proved
the wisdom of the project he sought
about for the soldier whose mind had
mirrored his. The man was dead.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
His Unkind Fling.

II saw him holding your hand" said
her small brother. whereat all the 9th
er members of the family looked up.
"Yes," she replied calmly; "he has
been studying palmistry."
"Oh!' said the small brother.
He was reading the story Of my
life" she persisted defiantly.
For moment it looked as If she had
subdued the small brother. Then he
remarked, You must be pretty old
SIS"
What do you meany" she demanded
''It was long story"
"Don't be absurd, Tommy"
"And continued story Brooklyn
Eagle.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
sleep the Best Brain st,murant.


The best possible thing for man to
do when he feels too weak to caryY
anything through is to go to bed and
sleep as long as he can. This Is the
only recuperation Of brain power, the
only actual recuperation of brain force.
because during sleep the brain Is In
state Of rest, In a condition to receive
and appropriate particles of nutriment
from the blood which take the place OF
those which have been consumed by
previous labor, since the very act Of
thinking burns up solid particles, as
every turn Of the wheel or screw of
the steamer is the result of consimp-
tion by fire Of the fuel in the furnace
The supply Of consumed brain sub
stance can only be had from the nutri-
tive particles III the blood which were
obtained from the food eaten previous
ly, and the brain is SO constituted that
it can best receive and appropriate to
Itself those nutritive particles during a
state of rest, of quiet and Stiffness o.
sleep. Mere stimulants supply nothing
in themselves. They goad the brain
and force it to greater consumption of
it's substance until it is so exhausted
that there is not power enough left to
receive supply.-Exchange
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
Faith Rewarded.

BObbie had been forbidden to play
with the water in the bathroom, but
one day the temptation proved too
strong. and he turned on the faucets,
Nurse, coming to the door d little later
beheld rapidly filing tub beside
which knelt small boy, who, with
ciasped hands and a terrified voice.
was saying: "Oh, Lord, if you know
how, please turn off this water, but if
you can't please send some one who
can."-New York Commercial Adver-
tiser.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

time to it. Still, it is probable that
most poor spoilers have no idea of the
popular contempt for bad spelling.
Robert Louis Stevenson, as an excep-
ton, seemed to have no care about it,
but admitted his effectiveness with as
little shame as he would mention a
headache 1t is too bad, though, that
pupils at the schools should suffer
through wrong methods of teaching.
We have now before us a note, from
an advanced pupil in a Tucson school,
containing 115 words. Seventeen
simple words not exceeding three syl
tables in length, are spelled wrong,
Notwithstanding the fact that the
grammar and diction are good. This
is lamentable condition. Bad SPELL
ing is heavy handicap in the contest
for advancement in life. An applica-
ton for clerical employment, badly
spelled, is almost Immediately rejected.
Bad spelling is almost a bar against
entrance to the civil service of the
government. Bad spelling is looked
upon as a vulgarity by educated peo-
pie. The school teacher who neg1ects
spelling in training pupil is guilty Of
a crime, and assumes an awful re-
sponsibility. There is no feature OF
a. child's education that is deserving
Of more care and attention.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

assets to $21 1,629,O00 This is a beauti-
full demonstration for the American
people of the profits of monopoly and
governmental favoritism.
According to a pamphlet issued a
couple of weeks ago by John Moody &
Co., publishers of ''Moody's Manual of
Corporation Securities" the process
of combination and monopoly has ta-
ken on a new shape, which merits the
appellation OF the Reorganization of
industry" They have discovered, af-
ter careful examination OF the con-
Germs in which Mr.. Pierpont Morgan
is interested, that his combinations are
something more than huge; each one
competitors have not. In a little
pamphlet devoted to this discovery
they estimate that there are under Mr..
Morgan's influence 55,555 miles of
steam railroad, with a total outstand-
ing capitalization of $4,000, ,000,0 900; the
steel trust, with capitalization of
81, 800 100000; and the ocean steam
ship combination with capital Cat
the beginning) of $170,000,OO0; and
then they add:
Mr.. Morgan is at the head of no in
dustry which does not have some spe-
aio1 CLAIMANT 0F eAx,
outside of mere ability in management
In other words, his corporations all
have an element of positive advantage
or strength which prevents them from
ever becoming subject to the merciless
competition of indiscriminate rivals.
And it is herein that Mr.. Morgan dis
plays his real scope of mind. While
many other less secure and more weak
ly planned combinations will sooner or
later go to the wall, the Morgan
properties all contain additional ele-
ments of strength which, in the worst
of times, will add vastly to their Sc
curity. For instance, the United
State Steel Corporation owns and con-
trolls enormous sources of supply; its
competitors, in many cases, do not
The $4,000 odd miles of railroad with
which Mr.. Morgan is identified controls
rights of way, coal lands, terminals,
competing lines, steamship connections
and the like. Thus, in addition to
their ESSENTIALLY able management, they
all stand on broad and solid founda-
ton of special advantage which would
seem to make their future in many re-
spects doubly secure.
1t will be observed that this is not
intended to be at all uncomplimentary
to Mr.. Morgan or his securities-rather
the opposite. But the advantages
(which would seem in many respects
to make their future doubly secure"
rest on somewhat questionable bases,
such as the operation of industries by
corporations that were chartered for
entirely different purposes, and the
continuation of tariff favors from the
government to prevent foreign COM
petition. No doubt a ship subsidy
will be added to these by the next
session of our Republican Congress.
And furthermore it is to be observed
that all this monopolization of inter-
state commerce is in direct violation
of law, and would be stopped if we had
national administration that was
strenuous enough to fight the trusts.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
The PROFITS OF MONOPOLY.

The directors Of the steel trust held
their monthly meeting in New York
yesterday, and 1t was announced that
the earnings of the concern during
September and October amounted to
$24,O0O,000 This would be almost at
the rate of $15O,00O, 900 year. Besides
this, we are told that the cash on hand
amounts to $64, 4,761 900, and the cash
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

Senator Quay is not a member of the
subcommittee of the Senate commit
tee on Territories now preparing to
investigate conditions in Arizona.
Senator Quay said in the Senate that
both the great political parties inves-
tigated the right of the Territories to
Statehood and found favorable YER
dict, which they recorded in their
national platforms. This satisfied Mr..
Quay. It also satisfied the Demo-
Gratis of Congress. We shall see later
how the r publicans of the Senate
live up to their party promise.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
The Mnnna,M side

First Mouse-You don't mean to say
you are afraid CT women?
Second Mouse-No, I'm not afraid Of
them, but they have such a way Of
screaming. you know, Really it just
upsets me completely.-Boston Tran
script.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
Whv She Omit.

"Why was it that they couldn't get
along together"
'Oh, he suffered so badly that she
never had time to wait around and get
In the last ord."-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12
A Esessimisf UnmasKeG.

''Br'er Jimson he say he done tired O.
de hollerness o dis yer sinful worr."
~ nebber heered him say muffin O.
dat kind until ole Squar Hickory done
put dem spring guns roun' his chicken
coop."-New York World.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

Senator Beveridge says the cause
of trusts is to be found in the complex
conditions of modern life" That ap-
pears to be sufficiently vague to be en-
tirely safe.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

Admiral Beresford of the British
navy thinks England and the United
States could lick the rest of the world.
Doubtless: but as the rest of the
world is minding it's own business,
what's the use?
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

Mr.. J. Pierpont Morgan is said to
have made only paltry $4,000, 900
during the first ten months of this
year. Yet the Republican organs con-
tinue to howl about prosperity.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

Mr.. Zeigler, the North Pole 'angel, -
is not taking any personal chances on
frosted feet, but he declares that he is
again willing to expose his leg to the
e1ongating process.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

The wife of Chicago's mayor is writ
ing book of fairy tales Almost
any married woman could do that-if
she could remember all that her hus-
band tells her.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

The beef trust people are still talk
ing about the scarcity of cattle, when
as a matter of fact the cattle are going
to market in such droves from the
western pasture fields that sufficient
transportation, can not be found for
them,
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-12

An Oregon man claims to have in
vented an iceless refrigerator, but
what our eastern brethren want this
season is coalless cooking stove and
furnace.