, 1902-02-27
GUlCH IN TROUBLE
QUALITY RESIDENTS STRIKE
SNAG IN MATTERS OF EDU-
eating CHILDREN.
Correspondent Addresses Letter Of
Distress to Count Superintendent
md Complains Of Divergence of
Opinion Between Stomach and
6rains-Normal and Abnormal
Teachers.

A correspondent at Quality Gulch.
Wyo., sends the following letter. ad-
dressed to the county superintendent.
for publication:
Dear Aunt Caira:-Iour advice to
our rural school dads is just about the
proper thing. In this Gulch we are all
for education. and are anxious to adopt
the latest methods and the smoothest
school ma'ams you have at your dis
posal.
Last spring some of us wanted to
open our school early in March and
close it before SNOW began to fly in the
fall. but our corner merchant had Dor
rowed the school stove to keep his
Eaters" from freezing and that raised
the question whether Or not "taters"
or education should have the right of
way.
The question was argued pro and
con. 1t finally reached the court, IN
der peace bond proceedings. and was
referred back to our school board. And
that body decided that as between edu-
cation and ~"taters," the latter had the
right of way, and the school should
not begin until the thermometer indi-
Gated that all danger of "taters" freez-
ing had passed.
School opened May list with a COM
petent young lady as teacher. She
seems to have come up to all the re-
Quirements OF the normal graduate ex-
cept ia the matter Of diet. She engag-
ed board with a ranchman at $12 per
II etaoinaaddedandLcf etaoin taoinao
two hostile factions. One faction,
headed by Jul corner grocer, claimed
that a teacher should eat SIS worth of
grub per month. The other faction
held that education was a mental &C.
complishment and if the teacher could
get her grub for $12 per month she had
the right to do it. The contest waxed
hot. Our corne g~roceryman got so
enthusiastic that he took his children
from school and informed the board
that they would not return until the
teacher could eat SIS worth of grub
per month and eat it at his cabin.
This was a knotty problem for the
board to solve, but it was solved. The
teacher was informed that she must
eat the required amount of grub-$15
per monitor be fired. She was fired
and school closed down July goth.
After repeated and frantic efforts our
board was unable to find a teacher
who could eat the required amount of
grub until october. On that day Miss
Highland Mary reported for duty. She
promised to keep her digestive and
g%astronomic machinery in good con-
dition and devour the required amount
Of grub and pay for it at the right
place.
am unable to inform you whether
or not she is a normal graduate. l
would not know one If l were to see
her; but I have picked up a few scraps
Of her teaching which l send you, hop
ing you will comprehend the situation.
The school was to be a four months
term. She was to teach October, No
vember, December and January. My
kids attended and Miss Mary sent me
a card called THE Teachers Report to
Parents" This report shows she did
not teach in December. On investiga-
ton l find she paid her grub bill for
that month-$15.
Now, the question Is, did she make
a mistake in making out her report
to parents or did she make a mistake
in paying her grub bill, viz, SIS worth
per mouth? Does a normal graduate
understand gastronomics?
On page 70, Advanced Language
Lessons" we find the following:
"5. Write sentences, using the plu-
raj of grotto."
My kid asked the teacher the mean
ing Of the word "grotto." She replied
that it meant Cowboy" So the kid
expanded the word "grotto" into the
following sentence:
THE grottoes roped a steer"
This sentence now stands in the
kids note book and her dear teacher
gave her a grade of 100 for that day in
language.
II the normal article will relegate
the abnormal to the kitchen please
distribute them literally and at your
very earliest opportunity.
OLD HAYSEED.