Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-03-13
REVENGE OF LOVERS,
RIDICULOUS ESCAPADES OF RE-
JECTEO YOUNG MEN.
Foolish Freaks of Youths ia old Eng
land-one Disappointed Suitor Went
To the Expense of Burying" His
tx Fiancee's Affections.

Whether the Tilted lover feels that
AehaS been made 10 look so very foolish
that it really does not matter how much
more foolish he SLOWS himself to be. 1t
is impossible TO say; but the fact re
mains that when he attempts TO get
his own back to use vulgar phrase,
he generally descends to degree OF
righteousness difficult to exceed Some
OF his foolish freaks are recounted by
! Tit-Bits. one salad youth recently star
tied and annoyed his erstwhile sweet
heart and got himself into trouble with
| the law by chartering a small, but muir
/ derouSly inclined brass band to play
the dead March" in Saul" under the
lady's window. This individual is not
alone in the glory of his righteousness;
/ indeed he was only modestly following
in the footsteps of another young man
who had been similarly rejected The
latter young man took revenge upon his
rejecter by giving her "constancy"
stately funeral, very much TO the
amusement of the good folks residing
in his town. He caused death notice
TO be inserted in the proper columns of
all the local newspapers announcing
that the love and constancy of the
young lady had succumbed to an attack
OF another young man Oh certain date.
Then he actually went to the expense
of 'burying" his eX-fiancee's affections.
At noon one day band of some eight
or ten instruments drew up in front of
the young lady's house. and was
promptly followed by closed hearse
and single coach. Alightng quickly
from the coach the young man of mis-
applied originality ran quickly up the
steps of the lady's house. and lmmedi-
ately returned, pretending to bear some
heavy object reverentially on the palms
of his hands. This imaginary some
thing was run into the hearse and the
funeral cOrtege started to wend It's way
slowly through the streets towards the
cemetery, led by the band playing the
Dead March," and with the addle-
headed young man as sole mourner
Needless to say, the procession caused
III,
and by the time 1t had walked around
the boundary wall of the cemetery it
was the chief topic of local chatter, and
every one knew what was the meaning
of it. A few days later there was very
nearly genuine funeral, for the young
lady's new lover met the old lover in
the street, with decided advantage In
favor of the former. A black eye and
badly swollen mouth to say nothing of
bump Oh the back of his head,
caused by contact with the curb, must
have impressed the young man that he
had gone to the expense of funeral
for nothing
provincial tradesman may be said
to owe the tlourishing condition of his
business to having been Tilted by his
hearts choice, and taking revenge i'm
manner which made him the talk of
his town. not a large one, by the way.
After an engagement lasting the bet
ter part Of two years the young woman
Tilted her lover for a handsomer and
more prosperous tradesman from
neighboring town. Hardly were the
words Of rejection cold on her lips than
he set to the work of taking satisfac
tion for the affront He shut up his
shop and announced his death as hav-
Ing taken place on account OF Miss
5 heartless conduct to him. He
had cards printed repeating the sad an
nouncement, and these he sent round to
all the young woman's friends and his
customers, and he advertised I'm the
local paper that his funeral would take
place on certain date. On the day 40.
pointed. however, he placarded his shop
with highly colored notice to the ef
feet that "the cause Of all his troubles"
had proved to be unworthy to die for.
and that he had consequently decided
to live and resume his business on
Monday next" BY this time. of course
the affair was known to the whole
town, and when the shop opened on the
all-important Monday there was n
crowd of customers waiting.
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