The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1902-08-28
WAS NOT ASKED TO APPEAR ON
FLOATS.
But Will Turn Up Two Hundred
And Fifty Years Hence at York,
Maine.

Samuel l.. Clemens was the last
speaker at the York Maine celebration
and his remarks were the feature of
the day. He said: I'VE can never for
see how much we may he indebted to
an accident. This is what has hap
pened. l was coming here to deal in
what for me is a novelty, to instruct
you in ancient history and rectify your
morals and to teach you other valuable
things, and but for an accident / should
have made the attempt. When Tom
Reed beloved by all his friends, the
nation, the human race and me, came
forward, he was startled by a memory
of the vague past, when he thought he
recognized a pulpit and under that in
spiration lost the judgment which is a
speciality in his line and preached a
sermon, which is out of his line,
See what happened. He soon got
through and that accident saved me. l
shall not deal in sermons or history
only in advertisements. l was saved by
another's accident. l got a letter con-
tanning a lecture and a compliment or
two. a lady charges me with the de-
moralizing of the weather. She saws
she has been coming here for years, but
never say anything but divine weather
until l came here. She now wants me
to apologize for the weather or go
away. | will apologize, but l won't go
away. l can't find any fault with the
Weather-it has agreed with me. A lit
tie rain don't affect me. 1t seems to
me 1t only rains here when you go out,
and 1 don't go out SO this weather
suits me, this atmosphere invigorates
me. l never saw a country where |
could work "a days out of the 81 as 1
have done here. There is something IN
this atmosphere which prevents moral
deterioration. 1t is a very satisfactory
climate to me. If l remain here and
continue to gather in this atmosphere
| shall be here for your quarter mil
lennial.
II was overlooked this time and had
no place on the floats. | will be here
next time, $50 years from now, to ad-
vertise the place. You have got faci-
lities here found nowhere else. For in
stance, there are 80 post-offices here
and if you throw a brick-bat you Grip
pie a postmaster. Then they call You
fellow-townsmen, but how do they
know? With York Harbor, Lork Cor
ner, York Village, York Beach and all
the other Yorks | don't know where I
live, and / can't find my way home,
even by trolley. This has been called
the land of milk and honey, but it
grows more post-offices than milk and
honey even: that is, think it does, for
know about the Dost-offices Then we
don't have mosquitoes up where l live,
or if we do they are gentlemen. for
scientists say only the lady mosquito
bites
This place is full of lovely things.
There is only one criticism, there is not
a match prOcurable, or at least one
that can be set fire to. l tried implored
and duplicated, but everywhere there
is only one match to be had a safety
one, so safe you cannot set il afire.
Even Satan, and l know about him.
can't use that match down here. He
can't make it go and is building cold
storage vaults out of it. In these vaults
are his choice treasures, but l do hope
Tom Reed will escape, that's all, I en-
joy being here, l apologize 10 the lacy
for the weather and am feeling only 20 /.
years old, instead of g. in such a eli |.
mate"