The National tribune., 1902-03-27
THE CRANKS' MECCA.
People Who Come With Strange
Inventions, Mythical Claims,
and Wild Schemes, and Who
are Promptly Sent to the
Asylum.


become the Mecca of cranks. The re
mark was prompted by the fact that he
had three demented callers at his office in
the War Department il a single day, and
it was made as the last member of the
unwelcome trio made his exit through the
office door.
The first caller desired the General to
examine a large roll of paper, on which
was tangls of red and black lines,
angles and figures, which the fellow claim
ed illustrated his "destroyer"-a sort Of
complicated cannon, warranted to wipe
out an army or annihilate feet of hos
tile war vessels at one fell swoop. Gen.
Sheridan curtiy informed the inventor that
he neither had the time nor the inclina-
tion to examine his Chinese puzzle, or
what not, and the man was shown his
way to the corridor. The second visitor
carried a peculiar-lOOkng object, which
he announced as "McKnight's War Mag
net" for attracting the missiles fired by
the enemy to a given point, where they
would be expended against space and not
against the soldiers on the firing line Of
the opposing army. He said the principle
of the thing was as simple as water, as
magnet will attract metal, and all missiles
are made of metal.
The third caller sought to interest Gen.
hoAi'iihlh III war DdllDOu, an imaginary
affair, warranted to destroy entire armies,
fleets and cities of the enemy, and for
devastating his country and demOralizing
his lines of supply. 1t was after the col
ored messenger had invited the balloon
crank to step outside that Gen. Sheridan
declared Washington had become the
crank's Mecca
lie followed this statement by giving
his colOred messenger orders not to ad-
OIL rnyal-, L.
About an hour later there was a cOmmo-
ton outside of the door and the sound Of
angry voices.
You amt gwine in dar eff / kin he'p
IT.! the negro messenger was heard to ex.
claim.
Get out Of my way, you rascalr' came
the excited rejOinder.
One of Gen. Sheridan's Aides stepped
out into the corridor to investigate the
cause of the commotion. He found Repre-
sentative HOuk, of Tennessee, struggling
to pass the colored guard, or ''blackguard,"
as Judge Houk termed him.
The Congressman was promptly admit
ted and Gen. Sheridan laughingly explain
ed the situation to him.
Well" exclaimed the Tennesseean,
this is the first time l have ever been
taken for crank, and I've had some
funny experiences in my time
The cOlOred doorkeeper afterwards ex-
planned that De gemman looked like dem
odder balloonatics dat had bin boderin'
de Gineral"
The term "cranks Mecca" was not
wrongly applied to Washington, as after
events have shown. Demented persons
of every degree, color and nationality.
with many weird hallucinations, find their
way TO TINS city every year, but particu-
larly during the busy Winter season, when
C. L
these unbalanced tourists become that one
police official, known as the Sanitary Off
Ger, is required to devote much of his
time to this unfortunate class of human
-lLgdB Gso9 seq I9oIgO iLBl!uBS 5VL 'SlI
ment III the basement of Police Headuoar-
ters, which has recently been christened
the crank's reception room" Govern
ment officials when annoyed by unbalanced
visitors send them to the Sanitary officer,
with the almost invariable explanation
that he will fix their business for them"
whether it be an imaginary claim against
the Government, an invention or some
thing else. Once in the Sanitary Office.
the visitor is detained until his or her
mental condition can be determined by
the Police Surgeons. Where the derange-
ment is of a simple or harmless nature
the victims are in very many cases re-
turned at Government expense if neces-
sary, to the city, town or village
whence they came. Otherwise they are
sent to the Government Hospital for the
Insane, known as st. Elizabeths. located
on the high crest of hills which overlook
Washington from the southeast
The latest Presidential crank to reach
Washington was Hillary E. Roger. a
young French Canadian, who came here
from New Hampshire to warn President
Roosevelt of the impending horrors of n
war with Turkey. He was arrested while
conyersing with Senator Gallnger in the
Senate reception room at the Capitol.
Royer stated that unless prompt action
was taken by this Government the Turks
would Overrun the United States and
slaughter millions of Americans. He
called at the White House first. but found
that President Roosevelt was at the bed
side of his stricken son.
An old lady, who gave her name as
Mrs. de Bussierres, was also a recent caller
at the Capitol. She claimed 81 600. 900
from the Government for carrying Greater
New York for Mayor Seth Low and the
fusion ticket. She claims to have ac-
complshed that result by using the voices
of the dead, which are under her control,
she says, to influence the living ito vote
right" Both of these demented beings
were arrested by Capitol Detective f. n.
Webber and turned over to the Sanitary
Officer for disposition.
Several years ago the Capitol building
was haunted by small man known as
Col. Pinchover, who demanded that he
be given his seat III the House of Repre-
sentativeS. claiming he had been elected
independent Congressman from Baltimore
by three millions majority" Not being
allowed to take his seat, the Colonel"
became abusive and threatened to do bod
lily harm to several prominent Representa-
tives whom he said were blocking him."
The authorities thereupon took him in
hand, and after medical examination he
was sent to st. EliZabeth's.
In the category of dangerous cranks
who visited Washington were Charles ],
Guiteau, who assassinated President Gar
field, and a heavily bewhiskercd individual
named Henderson, who came here for the
avowed purpose of killing President Ar
thur. Henderson in appearance was a
typical tramp, and it was only after
shrewd questioning that the dangerous
nature of his mission was developed. He
claimed that he had received a divine ap-
pointment as Ruler of the United States
and the Universe" and that President Ar
thur was a usurper. He was found TO
be heavily armed when taken into Gus
tOdy. His death occurred a few months
after he had been incarcerated in a strong
room at the Government Asylum for the
Insane
Many of the cranks claim to be invent
ors of marvellous machines. This class
almost invariably make their appearance
at the Patent Office. Formerly there were