davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

A clergyman observed horse jockey
trying to take in simple gentleman
by imposing upon him broken wind
ed horse for sound one. The parson,
taking the gentleman aside, told him
to be cautious of the person he was
dealing with. The gentleman declined
the purchase, and the jockey, quite
nettled, observed, "Parson, had much
rather hear you preach than to see
you privately interfere in bargains be-
tween man and man in this way"
"Well," replied the parson, "if you
had been where you ought to have
been last Sunday you might have
heard me preach"
Where was thatY inquired the
jockey.
''In the state prison." returned the
clergyman.-London Standard.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

The Decadent London Tailor.
Do you want some clothes made in
London7 You go to a first rate tailor
and are deliberately measured and cross
measured. The cloth is excellent, the
price moderate, as compared with New
York. You are requested to call and try
them on In three days. You come to be
tried on and find that the clothes are
basted together and that the fit is
merely preliminary one. The basting
Ia all ripped open, and you are pinned
up again. The tailor expresses no sur
prise that his work Is badly done. he
does not know that it is a wretched
Job.
You call after long interval and
try them on again The sleeves are an
inch too long, the collar fits as though
II were made for horse, the jacket
IN tight across the chest and obviously
intended for q fat man around the
belt.
You ask II he did really take meas
urements Tn the first instance. The
tailor complacently rips up all his
seams again and once more proceeds to
make chalk marks all over you and In
sert number of pins.
You are inclined to use profane Ian
guage. but curiosity masters your 9TH
er feelings, and you wonder how any
establishment can succeed when Sc
much time can be wasted over one suit
Of lothes.-Poultney Bigelow in Indie
pendent.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
Officially
ReCOnSidered
By HERMINH SERVED
Copyright, 1901, by
Hermine Schwed.


ssThere's one thing certain" sale
young John Sylvester. 1--WE won't take
that niger postmaster back, no mat
ter what the inspector says
The words met with instant approval
from his indignant fellow townsmen
who had assembled In the postofice Of
the southern village to explain matters
to the inspector sent by the govern
ment. Every man In the room waf
armed. and each face was set and
stern as Terri, the inspector. appeared
In the doorway.
Terril was old In the service, though
fairly young IN years, and had been
sent to the defiant little town because
OF his wide experience. he had tried
to refuse the case, though he did not
deem It necessary to confide his reason
to his superior officer. Inopportunely
enough, ne was ordered to leave by q
morning train, whereas he had intend.
ed to call on the Girl that evening She
was a visitor In Washington, and he
feared she would be gone before he TO
turned. Now, it lie unwise for post
Office inspector to have personal inter
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
NICE For Lovers.

eff am not too presumptuous," said
the young clerk, 81 will ask you to look
at our new typewriter especially adapt
ed for writing love letters"
"Oh," exclaimed the blushing maid.
us there any differenceY
Eyes, indeed, Among the punctuation
points there is little star for marking
kisses. Philadelphia Record.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

First Physician-I understand the
measles have broken out in your neigh
borhood?
Second Physician-Yes, but the faml-
lies are SO scattered I'm afraid they
wont catch.-Boston Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Mother-You nice little boyl In d.
viding that apple you kept the half
with a worm hole for yourself and let
sister have the other half.
Johnny-Yes; I s'pected the worm
had bored through to t other side
Boston Transcript.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Young Jones-I mean to so live that
when l die all the great cities Of the
earth shall quarrel over the question
bf my birthplace.
Young Brownies; each one win lay
the blame on some other.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
warded on.

Mr.. Phoxy-Did you send the Borems
q card for our musicale?
Mrs. Phoxy-Yes. How could l get
out of it?
Mr.. Phoxy-I'll tell Borem that jerks
is coming. Borem owes him money.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Father-How is it you never have
any money?
Son-It's not my fault It's all due
to other people.-Ph Philadelphia Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
= know that BY sad experience."

sPoor Bickers has very hard heart
ed wife," said Trivvet-
whats the trouble nowY' asked
Dicer
''She not only broke the broomstick
over his head, but made him go to the
store and buy another" detroit Free
Press
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

A good story, even when the same
man continues to repeat it, has tend
fncy to grow, like rolling SNOWFALL.
An instance is here furnished:
$50 our friend Bushler went to the
top of Mont BlapcT said one man to
another.
''Not at ALL"
But he said So"
''True. Two months ago. when he re-
turned from Switzerland. he said he
had been at the foot of Mont Blanc.
Since then he has gradually lied him
self to the top"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Mamma-For goodness sake, Elsie,
why are you shouting in that disgrace
full fashion, Why can't you be quiet
like Willie?
Elsie-He has to be quiet the way
we're playing. He's papa coming home
late. and Pm you.-Philadelnhia Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

First Boy-It's o'clock. Let's go
home.
Second Boy-Nit. II we go home now,
we'll get licked fer stayin' out SO late.
II we stay till o'clock, wen get Rugged
an kissed fer not bein' drowned.-Puck.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

"A public official" exclaimed the or
binary man heatedly. should be our
servant But is hep
Hardly" ventured the suburbanite.
''He stays with US too long for that
Judge,
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Be always beginning. Never think
that you can relax or that you have at
tanned the end If we think ourselves
more than beginners, 1t is sign that
we have hardly yet begun.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Irate but Unmusical Father-For
gracious sake, Mary, give US restl
Daughter Can't do 1t, pa. There's
none In the music.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
THE MOUNT HOLLY NEWS
TUESDAY, JANUARY %, 1902.

That's the personal question woman
asks herself when she reads OF the cures
Of womauly diseases by the use OF Dr..
Pierce's Fayorite Prescription
WHY shouldn't it cure herr
Il It a complicated casef Thousands
If such cases have been cured by Fa-
vorite Prescription" Is it condition
which local doctors have declared IN
curable7 Among the hundreds OF thou.
asuds Of sick women cured by the use OF
Dr.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription there
are a great many who we're pronounced
incurable by local doctors. Wonders
have been worked by cFavorite Pre-
scription1 in the cure of irregularity,
weakening drains, inflammation, ulcera-
Hon and female weakness. 1t always
helps. It almost always cures
uThree years ago, ? writes Mrs: John Graham,
II so1s Plumb Street, lFrankford) PnladelRni e
p N had very bad attack Of dropsy which
IA ms with heart trouble and also very weak
back. At times was % bad that did not knew
what to do with myself. My children aovise9
sn~ n, take vo1r Favorite Prescription, but
Issd hoe, taking so much medicine from the doc
fox that was discouraged with everything
car1e to Philadelphia two years ago, and picif-
ing mp one of your little books one day began t9
red what your medicine had done for others.
Seferrui11ed to try 1t myself. took seven bot
f1es and to-day am strong, well woma1f
weighing r6a pounds. Have gained e POUNDS
!. since started to use sFavorite prescription.
Dr.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets clear the
aouaplexion and sweeten the breath.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

81 am suffewing fwom bwain flag, doe
tab" said Sapphedde. ''F'ish is good for
that. isn't it?'
Every good" replied the doctor. 'Sup-
pose you begin with a medium sized
whale every morning for breakfast"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

The individual who gets into the
habit of giving way to depression is on
he broad road to ruin. Chicago News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
Had Reen There.

'There is no doubt" said the student
of law, that many people have been
imprisoned, although innocent of any
crime"
81 know that by sad experience"
you don't say so! Let's have the
story"
There's no story to it. ! merely had
the bad luck to be drawn on several
juries that were locked up over night"
Washington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

One man lies in his words and gets
bad reputation; another in his manners
and enjoys good one.-Thoreau.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
Manv scboo, oh,,aren are s,cs,v.

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children,
used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Children's
Home, New York, Break up Colds in "a hours.
cure Feverishness, Headache. Stomach
Toubles. Teething Disorders, and Destroy
Worms. At all druggists 25c, Sample mailed
tree. Address, Allen s. Oimsted, Leroy, N. Y
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
THEY CRUSH The POWERS

This is written in mid October. The long,
oppressive summer is quite gone. Fading
leaf, whitening tree and the rustling corn in
the fields are signs of the season. Fog,
frost, rain, snow,-they are coming. You
remember last winter; of 1900 and 1901.
The weather was cruel. Ali the thous-
ands it killed, and the hundreds of thous-
ands it manned. and crippled. Oh, the
rough grasp It laid on men at work, women
at home, and children in cribs and cradles.
Coughs that began before Thanksgiving
Day are rackng and tearing them still; yes,
and growing worse as they dig deeper into
the poor, tired throat and lungs. Many
were cured by using Benson's Porous Plas-
ters. For the soothing and healing power
Of these Plastsrs is wonderful They con-
guar the complaints
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28
THAT ARE KILLING THE PEOPLE.

No other plaster, no other medicine or ap-
plication, can compare with them. Coughs,
colds, backachs, rheumatism, lumbago,
kidney and liver troubles, asthma. infu-
enza,-thsy all 60 down before Benson's
Plasters like snow image In the sun.
You can't throw money away on Benson's
Plaster. Everybody is going to use them
thus season But make certain you get the
genuine. AL druggists, or we will prepay
postage on any number ordered in the
United States on receipt of 25c. each.
6eabury & Johnson, Mig. Chemists, NY.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-01-28

Certain Cure for Chflblains.
Shake into your shoes Aliens Foot-Ease, q
powder. 1t cures Chlblains, Prostitutes, Damp,
Sweating, Swollen feet. At all Druggists and
Shoe Stores, 25c,
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
Non Il Million in Only

Chicago.-}une .-=-,Ia1lr- 4. paite;t,
mayor of Evanston, and a prominent
board of trade operator, Yesterday brought
to a successful close the corner in Nay
oats, which has dominated the oats mar
Eet since early last fall. The profits cred
tied to Mr. Patton on the deal are esti-
mated at Sl,000000. About the time
prices in corn began to mount skywards
last year on account or the crop shortage,
it was learned that some one was taking
in all the May oats offered on the Chicago
market and elsewhere. Prices began to
advance to steadily around Sc, it WAS
known that Mr. Pltten was trying 10
work a corner On the big funny ON the
Chicago board last December, May oars
were pushed to Al 5-8c.
Since that time reactions occurred and
when delivery day came this month many
spectators thought the bottom had fallen
out of the corner. 1t was said Mr. Pat
ten had 100000 or l2000,o00 bushels
of the May options. Everything that WIS
offered to him in deliveries he took and n
turn sold practically all the contract
stocks to shippers at good inducements,
This left nothing for the shorts to acquire
with which to settle and prices accord
ing were pushed up by Mr.. Patten person
ally in the pit. May oats closed at as Sc
Saturday prices were jumped about &c,
and closed at 40 BE There was a little
furry of excitement at the close, but the
corner did not affect the other options.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
BIG COLONIZATION PLANS
100 900 SETTLERS FOR WEST.
IL Is the PLAN of President Hartman
to he Placed in BiR Eastern Gem
ters TO Get the People to Come
West.

Chicago, June 1.-The management Of
the Hartman lines has just perfected the
details of the largest colonization plan
ever attempted by railroads in the west.
Traffic Director j. C, Stubs Saturday an
nounced the organization of colonization
bureau and the appointment of G.. NJ. Me-
in charge of the bureau, with headquarters
in Chicago. Mckinney started for Port
land, Ore, yesterday with view of get
ting in touch with the general situation,
and on his return to Chicago plans viii
be perfected which the Hartman people
believe will place 100000 colonists in Ore
gon and Washington within the next two
years.
The sum of 100000 has been appropri-
ated to carry on the work, which will be
on scale hitherto uninterrupted. 1t is
the purpose to appoint colonization agents
in all eastern and middle west eenters,
and to draw largely from the population
of eastern states.
Arrangements have been made for agen-
cies at the following places: indianapolis,
with jurisdiction over Indiana Ohio and
southern Illinois; Des Mones, with iuris-
diction over Iowa, Minnesota and South
Dakota; Saginaw, with jurisdiction over
Michigan, and possibly Wisconsin,; Kan
sas City, with jurisdiction over Missouri,
. (fls lahoma aud Indian fInrtitpfy. pgtia-
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
MISCELLANEOUS MINING NEWS

The big cyanide plant of the Ken.
dali Gold Mining Company in Montana
is a success in every way, and hardly
hitch has occurred since the begin.
ming of work.
The United States Marble Company.
operating quarries in Stevens county.
Washington, has sold all Of its treas.
ury stock. amounting to about 5000 600.
to New York and Eastern investors. ac-
cording to statements made by C. r.
Mitchell, manager The company con-
templates many improvements and
development work will be undertaken
on larger csale.
Recent arrivals from Colorado say
5000 prospectors will leave Cripple
eek district for Thunder Mountain.
while it is estimated that 10000 will
come from other parts of the state.
Very encouraging reports come
down from the Poorman mine. at Sill
yer City, Idaho, and rumors are prey
alent that the Poorman mill will be in
operation before many months roll
around.
1t is reported that Spokane men, rep
resented by H. Bush, have taken a
bond on the Sellers and Suitor prop
erty near Lewiston, Mont. Price,
$4,000. The property bonded is a
group of eight cyanide claims.
At Salt Lake, Utah, N. E. Graves,
a mining man, shot his wife twice in
the head and instantly killed her
Graves then shot himself in the temple,
inflicting fatal wound. No reason is
known for the murder and suicide.
Oscar Szontagh, manager of the lie
ROi smelter, says that, so far as he is
aware. the Northport smelter will con-
tinue its operations without any close
down except such as may be necessary
from time to time on account of re-
pairs.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07

product is divided between the selbv
smelter OF San Francisco and the Ever.
EFT (Wash.) plant.
Up to Saturday 119 bodies had been
recovered from the Crows Nest Pass
mine. About so are still in the depths
the greater part of which is now under
water. The miners are now satisfied
that the inquiry which the government
has begun into the cause of the disas.
ter will be thorough and impartial
The character of the evidence intro
duced at the eoroner's inquest and the
attitude OF the governments represen.
tative at the inquiry show disposition
to ascertain where the blame. if any.
should be placed
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
,v.n orhnin a NEGRO Priest.

Baltimore, June 1.-The June ordina-
tons at the cathedral, which will take
place in June, will have added interest,"
from the fact that the second colored man
ever ordained to the Catholic priesthood III
this country will receive orders on tn''
day at the hands of Cardinal gibbons
The candidate is Rev. j.. Harry dorsey
student at st. Joseph's seminary, VINO was
raised to the deaconate last IAN ne ""'
born in this city % years ago. and was
educated at st. Paul, Mimi, under Areh'
bishop Ireland. Father Dorsey VIII laoo'
among his own people.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
Need United states money.

Washington June 1.-The secretary OF
war has forwarded to the senate commit
tee on the Philippines the cablegram from
Acting Governor Wright concerning the
treasury of the Philippine government:
"After making available in United
States money appropriations Immediately
necessary there is left in the insular treas
ury about 100000 in money of the Unit
ed States Practically none is being re-
ceiyed from customs or internal revenue:
must very soon face the question OF OBJ
tanning money for next month to pay OBJ
legations, payable only in money of the
United States. Request suggestions as 20
method of obtaining money OF the United
States; can pay for it only in Mexican
dollars; can advertise for bids TO furnish
gold. payment to be made in Mexican cur
rency, and internal revenue receipts Will
be gold; either method highly objectiona-
BILE, and would greatly deplete treasury
balances Price of gold at local banks to-
day is 81 for S2.4l Mexican, but no large
orders can be called"
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07

New York. June Harvard defeated
Yale in the contest for championship hon
ors at the intercollegiate athletic meet al
Berkeley oval. The total score was g.
points TO 80. Princeton came up surpria
ingly close to the leaders, her representa-
tives scoring p points. The executive
committee of the |. c. A. a. held a brie1
meeting at the oval to consider the pro
test made by Yale against Schick of Har
ward, but it was decided to allow the
Harvard Splinter to compete in the final:
of the 100 and 220 yard dashes.
The committee adjourned the further
hearing of the caes until June ID, wher
it will convene in this city for the special
purpose. Should the decision of the COM
mittee be averse to Schick, Harvard will
lose points and Yale will gain 2, so that
Yale would win the championship honors
by total Of 80 to Haryard's %.
Arthur F. Duffy created a new worlds
record in the 100 yard dash by winning
in 8 3-5 seconds. Duffy will sail for Eng
land two weeks hence. and will take part
in several athletic meetings during his
stay abroad, where he hopes to repeat his
performance of yesterday.
New intercollegiate records were estao'
lishe,. in four of the events, namely: the
hammer throw, shot put, pole vault, quar-
ter mile run and 100 yard dash. Dewitt
of Princeton did not improve on his flne
throwing of 1914 feet 10 inches, made yes
terdav. but Plaw of California was IN
better shape today, and threw the hammer
1863 feet 8 inches, showing an improve
ment of over 10 feet on his best trlal
throw yesterday.
In the pole vault Horton OF Princeton
won first place with the bar at IL feet .
inches. and then went after the lntercol-
lepiate record of IL feet inches, and
cleared IL feet inches.
Dufry's sprint record of 8 80 takes one
fifth of second off the best previous
record.
Beck of Yale in the shot put, increased
the distance from "A feet inches' helo
by himself since 1900, to "A feet IL
inches
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
IN[y AND MINING NEWS
.rrrooK IN THE NORTHWEST.
..t,ns items of a miscellaneous
in''' gathered During the Past
new Districts Brought to
ne Front-MInins Accidents ana
personals.

!. rhpnder Mountain -four is sold
= IN for SO pounds, and bacon 80
= uss mound. The staples are all
es ~ ) an advance of about 20 cents a
sOlu ! !, over the retail figures in railway
pOa .ors These supplies must now be
cen .sad over a snow summit on the
pas ~ ~ men. who charge about 10
u sats pound to the various camps.
w. w. average cost of food supplies to
~ sa,o 10 as cents a pound. However,
p's s.oot relief is experienced in the re-
,'.ation Of the fact that the blockade
! broken. The newspaper blockade
I'm, exists. There has not been a
sowsnauer in the camp for sixty days.
!, "a a rule with the temporary mail
..rriers to bring only first-class mail
sror the routes. There are now tons
= paners. books and sundries piled up
! nixie and Warren awaiting a spec
1, or regular contractor. Next to a
,0oa famine a news famine is the worst
hardship of this camp.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07

Birmingham, Ala, June IA special
from Huntsville, Ala, says:
Tom Hairless, a farmer, who lives near
Berkeley. Ala, and who has been blowing
on the Eslinger plae, was eating dinner at
a spring, when he was confronted by two
men with pistols. They robbed him of 81
and then backed him against tree. The
loose folds of flesh on each side were
pulled out and nailed to the tree and his
hands were stretched above his head and
treated likewise. In this condition the
man remained until dark, when he was
rescued by a farm hand.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
Elect Democratic Governor.

PORTLAND, Ore, June 3.-An cleo
ton was held in Oregon Monday for
state officers, two congressman and
members of the legislature which will
elect a United States senator to sue
coed Joseph Simon. At midnight scat
tering returns indicate the election Of
George E. Chamberlain, democrat, for
governor The entire republican state
ticket, with the exception of governor,
is elected by from 5000 to 10000 and
Thomas H. Tongue and J. N. William
son are elected to congress by large
majorities. w. J. Furnish, republican
candidate for governor, is running far
behind his ticket in nearly ever county
in the state, and the returns at hand
indicate his defeat. The legislature
will be republican by safe majority
but it is impossible to make an accur
ate estimate with the returns now in.
George II. Williams has been elect
ed mayor of Portland.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07
President steyn Has Paralysis.

Pretoria, June l-Acting President
Steyn of the Transyaal is suffering from
paralysis, and will not participate further
in the peace conference at Yeerinignig.
He has been given his parole and has
gone to Krugersdorp, about so miles
southwest of Pretoria.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-06-07

Anadarko, o. T., June LIN three
hours the Washita river at this point rose
nearly is feet, carrying away dozens 81 e.
tents and outbuildings on the lowianu'
and flooding the town to depth OF iOuf
feet or more.