The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-12-11

He-I love you more than words can
tell. She (shyly)-Well, there are other
ways.-Chicago News.
Josh bet Zeke that he could stay
under water two minutes" Ibid Josh
win?" "Yepw "Where is he now?
Under thar yet."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
What" says the inquisitive young
lady, "is the most popular color for
bride" We may be little particular
in these matters, but we should prefer
q white one.
Mrs. Justwed (house- hunting)-Oh!
Charlie, here's the lovellest little linen
closet. Janitor dnterrupting) - Dat
amt no linen closet; OATS de dining
room.-Detroit Free Press.
Harry-Yes, darling, and 1t shall be
the purpose of my life to surround you
with every comfort and to anticipate
and crafty your every wish. GeOrgna
How good Of you. Harry! And all
on So week, too!
Judge-You do not seem to realize
the enormity of the charge against
you. Prisoner-No, l amt got my
lawyers bill yet, but I'm expectin'
the charge'll be enormous, all right
Philadelphia Record.
Betters-Tom does not think Of him
self In his efforts to get job under
government. 1t Is the people he con-
siders, and the peoples interests. VIII
lets-I know; but Tom has an idea that
he Is the people.-Boston Transcript.
The first impression: Mrs. Xtreme
What do you think of my new rainy
a rainy-day skirt? Mrs. Xtreme-Cer-
tainly. What did you think it was?
Mr.. Xtreme-A ruffie on your waist
Bazaar.
After the quarrel: He Ito HIMSELF
There! All on account Of my beastly
temper. l suppose I've gone and said
too much. She Ito herself)-Oh, dear!
If I hadn't lost my temper l might
have said ever so much more.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Naked truth: Elderly maiden tout
rowing with possible sutton and her
little sister. who is frightened by the
waves)-Theodora, II you are so nerv-
Gus now what will you be at my age?
Little sister (meekly)-Thirty-se I
suppose.-Tit-Bits.
BILL see he's very close friend.
Jill-Well, don't Know about his be-
ing close friend" "Oh, yes, he is. If
he wasn't close you'd have borrowed
money of him, and IL you'd borrowed
of him he wouldn't have been friend
-Yonkers Statesman.
Kind Father-My dear, II you want
a good husband marry Mr.. Goodheart.
He really and truly loves you. Daugh-
ter-Are you sure of that, pa? Kind
Father-Yes, indeed. I've been borrow
ing money of him for six months and
still he keeps coming.-Stray Stories,
wonder IL Lucy Is engaged to that
young man who calls on her SO often?"
asked the gossipy nelghbor. II don't
know" said the other gossipy neighbor,
'but doubt It, | understand he writes
for comic paper and heads his column
Nothing Serious Buffalo Express.
"See here" remarked the guest to
the new waiter. there doesn't seem
to be any soup on this menu card"
"Oh, no, SIR" replied the waiter. ner-
vously, II didn't spill 1t at this table
II was the one on the other side OF the
room."- Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
une.
Poor woman! After her hard days
work she has to stay up half the night
with her babies" What's the matter
with her husband? Why doesn't he
help herY' "Oh. he puts In all his
time agitating for an eight-hOur day
for the workingman. "-Philadelphia
Press.
Burning verse: II wouldn't care II
that poet would bring In a hundred
poems a day." said the country editor.
HE knows how to write 'em. does
he?" asked the Office bore. HE GER
tainly does" replied the editor; "he
brings them In written ON shingles"
indianapolis Sun.
Mary-George, have heard you
spoken of frequently as successful
business man. George am that.
Why? MAXWELL. considering the
fact that you have been visiting me for
three years, think you should maln-
tain your reputation and talk business.
He maintained his reputation.
"Auntie," said the judge to the bat
tered lady of color, ibid your husband
strike you with malice aforethought"
"'Deed he didn't. jedge," was the In
dignant reply, "he didn't hit me wild