The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-12-14
OF INTEREST TO WOMEN
IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING. MANY
WOMEN FAIL In COURTESY.
Art of Choosing Gifts That show In
dfvidualify-The Home Gymna-
sium-Odds and Ends.

1t Is really surprising, says writer in
the Baltimore American. that there should
ever be difference Of opinion in regard to
certain matters of etiquette in replying
or not to invitations; also when a call
is necessary for politeness' sake, and when
it can be dispensed with gracefully. Some
women were speaking of these things the
other day. One had just given a large
afternoon reception, and her cards had
been engraved in the usual conventional
way, announcing the fact that she and
her debutante daughter would be at home
on such an afternoon between certain
hours specified. To her surprise many peo-
pie answered these invitations, either ac-
cepting or declining, as the case might be.
us this a new custom?" she laughngly
asked. For, if so, 1 am surely very
ignorant of the matter. as l never pretend
to reply to an afternoon affair. Do your
she inquired of one of the danes.
THAT depends largely upon circum
stances. 1 agree with you. however, that
there is certainly no occasion ever to an
swer an at home or afternoon tea,
whatever the entertainment may be called.
One goes, or else one sends cards that day,
and If by any chance one is so remiss as to
neglect to send cards when one cannot
call in person an early visit is deemed
sop for politeness. But about replying to
afternoon things, L always, of course, send
one for a wedding breakfast or collation.,
also to a musicale, If it is to be small
especially, for that is a seated thing, and,
then, every place counts Then one neces-
sarily answers a personal note of invita-
A.
luncheon or tea"
One of the guests then said: but don't
you think that the majority of people are
more apt to err on the other side and not
answer evening invitations which surely
require them?''
The woman who had entertained in that
way lately agreed with her. Really. 1t is
surprising how often well-bred pers ons do
not send an answer to an evening function
and excuse themselves by saying that 1t
did not have r. S. V. p. on it. But any
thing after o'clock needs reply. though
the large events OF a general nature dur
ing the afternoon hours do not.
Then, some people have singular idea
that they ought TO take cards with them
always. A card left at a dance shows
dense ignorance so also card is never re-
quired at an evening musicale, or, indeed,
any function at night. Why the distinction
is made is not known, but one very sensible
reason would seem that women are not sup
posed to carry card-cases around In their
ball gowns, whereas in an afternoon cos
tune they are often visiting well at
tending teas and receptions, and card is
left as an acknowledgement of the civility
extended to them.
Many, therefore, do not consider 1t neces-
sary to call after large afternoon affair.
stances. In these days when one skips all
kinds of visiting that one possibly can,
perhaps even an exacting hostess does not
expect call. But a woman who has gone
Ollta
self upon her knowledge of these minor
points of etiquette says that when cards
are sent for two or three days in a certain
month and one calls on one of the APP
pointed afternoons that a visit is both paid
and received. The hostess pays il by send
ing the card, and the guest returns IL by
going to one of the afternoons, and things
are squared up on both sides in the visiting
line for that season.
A large and handsome formal reception
seems to demand further notice, however,
than merely to go at the time and unless
one gives a similar entertainment that win
ter call afterward is really more polite.
OF course, however, one affair cancels an
other. as she who gives can also take with
out feeling under special obligations to call.
Yet, as rule, every reception is given in
honor of sOmeone-a debutante, a bride or a
visiting guest-therefore, a call would seem
necessary afterwards. unless, as said above,
the courtesy is paid back by another enter
tainnnent of the same nature.
a little common sense in such matters is
important. Too much visiting in these busy
days is tabooed. and yet there are certain
calls one always must make upon certain
people, who would be offended if they fam
cied themselves neglected. Many women
give rigid orders at their door TO let no
visitor in, and yet calling cannot ever be-
come dead letter, and even the most
rushed kind of woman must occasionally
allow herself the pleasure OF receiving her
friends and endeavor to give few hours a
month TO the solemn duty Of calling and re-
vie