The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-09-18
POssUM SKETCHES.
Zeb White Tells of Cantankerous
Wife and a Fighting Bear.

Wife and Fighting Bear.
81 was Jest a-thinkin'.'' said the old |
nossun hunter as he lazily poked at |
the hickory fire one evening as we sat |
in front of the broad fireplace was
Jest a-thinkin' what queer critters Wo-
men folks are"
How do YOU mean?" asked, know |
ing there ives story behind it.
"Why, they are like 'lasses one DAY
an vinegar the next. I've knowed my
to ear in the mawnin'. an befo' noon
she'd be breakin' dishes an ltcnln 70
pull my ha'r. A man gifts MAD an gus
over it without maxim fule OF MS
self but when a woman gifts mao sue
bound to carry things through II II
takes the roof off the house don't
reckon my old woman is any PETER OF
any wuss than any OF the rest OF en-
but she has kept me guessln most OF
the time since we was married. was
Jest a-tfinkin' Of sunthin that nap
pened few years ago, an peln snes
gone to bed an won't be hstenin', II,
I'm them days" continued the old
man as he gave the fire last poke and
dropped the poker, IF she got cantan-
kerous 1 got cantankerous too. Then
we'd go much as week without
speakin' to each other. She was proud
an wouldn't given in. and so 'twouid
go. One mawnin' in gettin' brea kfast
she burned her hand, an 1 LATED a,
her, an she got mad. Then I got mad.
an she turned on me with:
g 'Zeb White, I'll never speak to you
ag'in if live hundred vars
Nobody keers whether yo' do or
not said 1. an with that we both shet
up. Not another word did we say fur
days an days. though we got over
up. I reckon it had bin about two
weeks an was thinkin' I'd give in an
speak to her when she put on her bum
nit one AFTERNOON an picked up a
baskit l knowed she was gwine up the
mounting arter chestnuts, an l knowed
thar was a big bar lurkin' about up
thar. 1 wanted to tell her, but she
had her nose stuck up an wouldn't
look at me an so / didn't say nuthin.
But you followed her?" I queried.
Yes; arter awhile I took down my
gun an followed her. 1 was gwine to
keep an eye on her without her know
in 1t. I'd seen that bar an knowed
he was whODper an full of fight.
trailed along fur mile or SO. an then
I seed the ole woman pickin chestnuts
jist ahead of me. l had jist noticed
that she was lookin' powerful mad an
had the end of her nose pinted skyward
when that bar showed up. She heard
him trampin' over the leaves and called
out:
''Mebbe yo' hev follered me. zeb. to
make up, but I'm mad from top to bot
tom an don't keer to talk to yo''
Il was nigh choked with laffin' when
that bar suddenly slid in an fetched
her cuff which sent her rollin' ten
feet away. She thought 1t was me,
though the Lawd knows 1 wouldn't hev
put hand on her in anger an she
grabbed fur club an yelled:
" Zeb White, yo' ornery. pesky var
mint. I'll whop yo' till yo can't crawl
home to pay fur thatr
when she got up an whirled about
thar stood the bar, an surpriseder
woman never drawed the breath of
life. She. thought she was mile from
q 10Th on hoy, frrv-
mint she looked as if she was gwine
to run. Then she braced up spit on her
hands, an 1 heard her savin':
It amt Zeb. like I thought it was.
my hide, I don't low nobody nor nuth-
in to cuff me around that way!' .
Then she pitched right in" contin-
ued Zeb. IAN durn my buttons if
wasn't proud of her. If that bar had
ever seen woman befo'. he hadn't seen
no SIGH woman as her. If he reckoned
he had an easy job on hand. it wasn't
long befo' he discovered his mistake.
The club was stout an heavy. an the
ole woman struck with all her might.
Bimeby the bar got mad an rushed in
on her an fetched her a swipe which
rolled her over, but she was I'D ag'in
like cat reckoned it was about time
to interfere, fur yo can't expect a wo-
man to kill a bar with nuthin' but a
club, but as 1 riz I'D outer the bushes
she seed me an said:
That yo', Zeb White? Who sent
fur yo'?'
''T cum along to see the fun said.
WAL, keep a-lookin, and yoll see
it,
"'Mebbe I'd better shoot the critter p
'Mebbe yo' hadn't. This ain't any
of yo'r fout, an yo' jist mind yo'r own
bizness. When 1 feel too tired to who'll
lop bar. I'll send fur yo''"
But didn't the bear take notice of
your" / asked.
Not bit. Reckon he heard me. of
co'se, but he was bound to down the
ole woman fust. She fout harder arter
she knowed l was thar. Mebbe she
sorter depended on me, an mebbe it
made her all the madden. Whichever
way it was, she sailed in fur all she
was with, an the way she dubbed
that bar astonished me- I'd never
stood to fight him that way a mint.
AFTER awhile he got in another cuff
which sent her spinnin', an / said to
her:
Nancy. shan't put a bullet into
the varmint an end this fuss?'
Not today, thankee,' said she as
she got up like a cat
while they was havin' another tus-
sic looked at that bar powerful clus, .
said Zeb. AN he didn't seem to be a
natural critter. Deed, but he reminded
me of dead an gone critter named
Joe Robinson. Yes sab; any man as
had ever knowed Joe Robinson would
say his speerit had passed in that bar
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