Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1902-06-28
Bill Arp Recalls the Sermon Of a
Flatboat Preacher.
4 Talk ON Spirits and Fire and Other
rhings That Had Little to Do
with the Text Rescued
from oblivion.

that the author Of that quaint Olu SER
mon lived and died in that parish, and
his daughters and grandchildren live
there now, and are his near neighbors'
Strange to say, the author was min
lister of the Gospel, sober, serious, sol
emn, and devoted to his calling, and for
a long time it was not known that the
humorous writings over the signature
of "Zedekiah the Scribe" came from
his gifted pen. But some preachers
can't help seeing and enjoying the lu-
dicrous side of human nature. Sidney
Smith, the famous English divine, was
as solemn as the grave on solemn occa-
sions, but he inhaled great deal of
merriment without a smile. He pro-
voked others to the most convulsive
laughter, but gave no sign save in
the twinkle of his eyes. Judge Long
street, the eminent jurist, the learned
preacher, the dignifed president of two
colleges and university and the au-
thor of Georgia Scenes" was of sim
liar type. l met him often during my
youth, and do not recall that he in
dulged in a humorous anecdote. The
last time l met him was during the
war in the office of the Columbus En-
quirer, when he INDUCED in bitter sar-
casm against some Georgians whom
he called traitorious obstructionists.
1 could hardly imagine that he it was
who nodded the inimitable characters
of Ned Brace and Ramsey Sniffle. John
Hooper was not preacher but al
ways sedate and very dignified gen.
tleman. He was secretary of the en-
bryo confederacy that assembled in
Montgomery, and there was no sign
of "Simon Snuggs" or taking the
Census" in his solemn department. My
observation has been that the best
story tellers and conversationalists
have the least inclina tion to write or
publish their own scintillations. 1t
was common to say of my old partner:
"Oh, rare Judge Underwood" but
could never induce him to put pen to
paper in that line. He said that good
story or a flash of wit and humor lost
its relish by writing it, for the tone
of voice, the accent, the piquancy, the
facial expressions could not be re-
corded.
When Rev. J. T. Lewis wrote this
sermon its was not uncommon for anna
teur preachers to perform up and down
the western rivers and thus advertise
their business, which was principally
fiat boating and peddling their produce.
Lorenzo Dow took continual journeys
from Maine to Texas, but he was a
pretty good orthodox preacher. These
fat boat preachers were a rough and
tumble set and tangled up the Scrip
lures awfully but they could draw the
crowds, and their whisky was a good
card. 1t was an orthodox product
then, and preachers and the people
were as fond of it as old Father Noah,
who was a preacher of righteousness.
Rev. Mr. Lewis kloes not give this
preachers name, but his sermon has
been sent me by my friend and give
1t to your readers as it was given to
me. When it first came forth we
thought it inexpressibly funny. 1t is
not so funny now to the old people,
but the younger generation are more
easily amused than the veterans and
for their sake 1 append it. A pretty
school girl recited it last week at the
commencement exercises of our public
school and she did it well and brought
down the house.
This sermon was said to have beer
preached at Port Hudson, where the
amateur divine had tiled up" for thC
double purpose of observing the Sab
bath and selling whisky.
81 may say to you, my brethering
that I am not an educated man, an
am not one of them as believes tina
edication is necessary for a gospel min
lister, for | believe the Lord edicate
His preachers jest as he wants EN-
to be edicated; an although l say i
that oughtn't to say it, yet in the stat
of Indianny, where live, thar's no mai
as gets bigger congregations nor wha
I gifts.
THAR may be- some here to-day, m,
brethering, as don't know what per
suasion / am NV Well, must say t.
you, my brethering, that I am Har
B Shell Baptist. Thar's some folks a
don't like the Hard Shell Baptists, bu
B I had rather have a hard she'll as n
shell at all. You see me here to-day
my brethering, dressed up in GOO
clothes; you mout think I was proud
but am not proud, my brethring, an
4 although have ben preacher of tn
Z gospel for 20 years, an althoug
I'm capt'in of the fiat boat that lies a
your landing, I'm not proud, my brett
ring, ah.
'I'm not gwine to tell edzactly wha
my text may be found; suffice it to sa
3 it is in the leds of the Bible, and you
find it somewhere between the frs
chapter of the book of Generation
and the last chapter of the book {
Revolutions, and eff you will go an
search the scriptures, you'll not onl
find my text thar, but great man
other texes as will do you good to rea,
| and my tex, when you shall find it, 20
shall find it to read thus, ali:
| "'And he played on a harp of
thousand strings-sperits of jest me
made perfeck.'
| my tex, my brethering, leads m
to speak of sperits. Now, thar's
J great many kinds of sperits in til
, world-in the first place thar's I'll
4 sperits some folks call ghosts, an
4 thar's the sperits of turpentine. an