The Savannah morning news., 1902-07-27

home to his wife that We might as well
thry to make a whistle out Nv pigs
tail as a dacint man out iv a Cuban.
Gin raj Bragg viii be bounced an he
ought to be. He don't belong IN polly
tics. His place is editor iv a losin'
newspaper.
"Gov-nor Taft has been in Rome
shown tn wurruld how SUCCESSFUL,
straightforward. downright, outspok-
en-, manly, frank. fourteen ounces to
tn pound American business dalings
can be again tn rn-out diplomacy
iv tn papal coort Whin last heerd
fir m, this astoot an able man, backed
up be tn advice iv Elihoo Root iv
York state, was maxim his way tow-rd
Manila on foot an siv-ral Numbers Nv
tn colledge iv cardinals was heerd to
regret that American statesman We're
so thin they cudden't find anything to
fit thin in his thrunk.
Cholera is ragin' in the Philippians,
vice Ginral Jake Smith, raymoved.
"Th' stock market is boomin' an
business has become so dull elsewhere
that some iV tn best known outside
operators ar-re obliged to increase tn
depth iv tn goold coatin on tn brick
to nearly an inch.
"Th' capital iv tn nation has ray
moved to Eyesther Bay, city on tn
north shore Nv Long Island, with
population iv three millyion clans, an
a number Nv mosquitoes with pianola
attachments an steel rams. There day
be day tn head Nv tn nation, thrans-
acts tn nations business as follows:
a. m, a plunge into tn salt, salt sea
an a swim iv twinty miles; a. m,
horseback ride, tn Prisidint instruct
in his sons, aged two an four ray
spictively to jump tn first Methodist
Church without knockin' off tn shin
giles; 6 a. m, wrestles with thrained
grizzly bear; siven a. M, breakfast;
eight a. M, Indyan club: nine a. M,
boxes with Sharkey; tin a. m, bates
tn tinnis champeen; iliven a. m, ray
ceives a band iv rough riders an per-
son'lly supervises tn sindin' Nv tn
ambulance to look afther tn injured
In tn village; noon, dinner with Shar-
key, Oscar Featherstone, tn champeen
roller-skater iv Harvard '9S, Professor
McGlue, tn archyologist. Lord Dunn
de Dunn, Mike Kehoe, Emmanuel Kant
Gumbo, tn naygro pote, Horrible
Hank, tn bad lands scout, Sinitor
Lodge. Lucy Emerson Tick, tn writer
on female suffrage, Mud-in-t tn Eye,
tn chief iv tn Ogallas Ginral Powell
Clayton, tn Mexican mine expert, four
rough riders with their spurs on, tn,
Ambassadure iv France an tn Gin
quovasti family, jugglers. TIL conversa-
ton we larn firm wan iv tn guests
who's our spoortin' iditor, was jined
in be tn President an dealt with art,
boxin', lithracheer. horse-breakn',
science. shootin', pollytics. how to kill
a mountain line, diplomacy, lobbing,
pothry. tn pivot blow, rayform, an
tn campaign in Cuba. Whin our ray
porther was dhriven off tn premises
be wan Nv tn rough riders, tn head iv
tn nation was tachin' Lord Dunn de
Dunn an Sicrety Hay how to do
handspring an TIL other guests was
scattered about tn lawn, boxin', ras
slim, swining on tn thrapeze, ridin
, tn buckin' bronco an shootn' at tn
| naygro pote FIR tn dhrinks-in short
enjyin' an ideel day in tn country.
An that's all tn news" said Mr..
Dooley There We ARE JUS as If We
cud read. That's-all that's happened.
Amt a good newspaper? Not a dull
line in me. Sind in ye'er small ads +"
Sure all that's no news" said Mr..
| Hennessy discontentedly. Hasn't
there anything happened? Hasn't an
ny wan been-been kilt?"
There we ar-re," said Mr.. Dooley.
| BE news we name misfortune. / sup
| pose near ivry wan does. What's wan
mans news is another mans throubles.
In these hot days, I'd like to see a pa
| aper with nawthin' in it but affection
ate wives an loyal husbands an pros
| p'rous, smilin' people an money in the
bank an three a day. That's what I'm
lookin' FIR in tn hot weather
9TH newspapers have got to print
what happens" said Mr.. Hennessy.
mo" said Mr. Dooley, they're got
to print what's different. Whiniver
they begin to put headlines on happi-
ness. contint, varchue. an charity, I'll
know things Is goin' as wrong with
this country as I think they ar-re
ivry naytional campaign"