davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
HUMOROUS.

HoaX-Here comes the Interrogation
mark. Joax-Because he's a question
able character.
Nell-Mr. Sapphedde doesn't talk
much, does he? Belle-No, but he gen.
orally manages to tell all he knows.
She-Men are so weak. Do you think
They will v e learn to say no? He
Undoubtedly, when women propose.
Blobbs-Skinnum is rather exclu-
sive, isn't he?" Slobbs-Yes, there are
very few people with whom he asso-
Oates now Fact is, he's in jail"
y Stern Parent-Young man, do you
think you a support my daughter on
$40 a week? Merry Suitor-I'm will
ing to try If that's the best you a do.
Muggins-Do you think women dress
to please their husbands? Buggins-
Not on your life. If they did they
wouldn't run up such Internally big
bills.
Absence makes the heart grow fond
err" remarked the sentimental youth.
ooh! l don't know" returned the mat
ter-of-fact girl. did you eve try pres
ents."
Death is never idle" sagely OBJ
served the Wise Guy. "Oh, l don't
know" remarked the Simple Mug. "It
occasionally takes a Dey off in Al
giers."
Ida-There is that editor ordering
people around again. wonder what
makes him so dictatorial? May-Oh, l
guess he is used to having people SUBJ
NIT to him.
A dollar held close to the eye will
hide the sum-" observed the Wise Guy.
"Yes," chuckled the Simple Mug; land
the further a. dollar is away the big
ger it seems"
Mrs. Newlywed-My husband never
talks about the coffee his mother used
to make. Mrs. KnoWitall-I dare say
not. His mother used to keep a
boarding house.
Wigg-No; I can't say that Talka-
lot is a friend of mine. I merely have
a speaking acquaintance with him.
Wagg-Most people only have a lis
tening acquaintance.
Hook-You can't make Henpecke
believe that the hand that rocks the
cradle is the hand that rules the
world. Nye-How's that? Hook
His wife makes him tend to the chill
dren.
I'D like to know why they call this
train a Limited" said the disguised
passenger; 81 don't see anything lin
tied about it." "You don't" laughed
the engineer. "Well, it's limited to
ten miles an hour"
A Heavy Bluff-"Oh, maw," said the
10-year-old hopeful, "do you see how
wet my clothes are?" eyes, young
man." spoke mamma, sternly, land
you have been in swimming" mo,
maw." '"Thep how did you get wet?"
why, some boys wanted me to go in
swimming, and ] ran away SO fast
I perspired."
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
a snaka that Can BE Tanned.

One of the most harmless and one Of
the prettiest snakes in Dutch Guinea
IS the parrot snake. He is a little
three-foot arrangement, grass green,
pink eyed, and, amoEs snakes. proba-
bly, the most knowing. These little
chaps are otter found in camp. Their
only objection is that they Wriggle
when you lie down ON them. They
become very tame il encouraged and
take readily to civilization and sugar.
In return for their board they keep
the camps clear Of mice and sDidsygs
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
L.nnns nf the Tree.

The leaves of the trees; how very
few of the deciduous fruit growers un-
derstand or appreciate the true value
and vital functions of the foliage Of
their fruit trees, or if they do, how su.
perbly Indifferent they are to the raw.
ages of the different fungous pests thai
destroy them. The quality of this
years crop of fruit and the quantity
and quality of fruit and leaf buds fol
next year depend upon the ability o.
the leaves to elaborate the crude mate.
rial sent up by the root system and fur.
thermore without leaf action there car
be no root action; the leaves are t.
the tree what the lungs and the bIoot
are to us and il we desire the great
est ard most complete development o
root, branch and fruit we must relig
iously preserve the 'foliage.-Lcs An
geles Times.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
Defeetod Both peimonts,

Now that he has been appointed a
member Of the naval committee, Con-
gresham Lessler of New York enjoys
the distinction Of having defeated
both the Belmont brothers. Perry Bel
mont was the democratic candidate
for congress whom Col. LESSER van.
quished at q special election and Ollie
Belmont, now a member of the house
and a graduate of the naval academy
at Annapolis, was one of the foremost
candidates for the vacancy on the nav.
al committee.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
TENDER-HEARTED BESS.

She wouldn't beat the carpets,
She wouldn't whip the cream,
She wouldn't pound the beefsteak;
Too cruel 1t did seem.
She wouldn't strike the matches,
She'd give hot tea no blows;
She made no hit at baking,
She wouldn't wiring her clothes,
She wouldn't cut o chicken,
Or think OF drowning care,
She wouldn't mash potatoes
Or bang her golden hair.
She wouldn't do all these things,
My tender-hearted Bess,
And 80 she smashed all records
At downright laziness.
New York Sun.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

Mrs. NJ. K. Bousch, Richmond, MAJ
writes:
81 had cafGrrh all CO, roaGghAm, Wsys-
tenn tor tUo gears mad coutd get 7a0
reJief. 1 eras adviseG to try Pee'dnG,
and IhGUe taken fUeb0tt1esotS 81 G''d
M .ueEL and better tOw if1Gsc L hgOe
been tor gears. u al 0dVasc tu1ty.
sUhn has cGtG9rb Of any Ta1rS OF TIE
body to tGke F'erUnG. EYJtRte geFt,
suto Is c 'eUen gears old, hGG catarFh.
bat Cas cured by Perws.G. Before I
began to take .PerunU I 'vGs1sfck at
the time. bat noU I an testtPetT
Cured and all, praise Is d6tc Peru
n .''-Mrs. III. n. BOnsch.
Miss Pearl Bousch writes: When was
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
WV Rufra,o were Easily KILLED.

The lack of timidity Oh the part OF
the buffalo was one cause of the ease
with which it was exterminated. che
animals often standing while man ap.
preached, only moving off when it was
too late. Many elk lose their lives
from over-confdence in human beings.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
Married. but Not Hannx.

so You and Tom were finally mar
ried, eh. NelI?"
Eyes. but we're not happy"
aWhy, hoW's that?'
eve didn't marry each other, ode
tEoit Free Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
A Geological Proposition.

aMatrimeny is q good bit of q geo
logical proposition. says the Maua-
yunk philosopher. 1T takes sand to
propose to d girl and rocks to keep
her after you are married. p-philaael.
phja 1Aeozdsx
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
uls Reverence was in Mines.

"Did you ever salt Sheep" asked the
farmer of the hired hand who
came from Colorado.
NO. replied the new hired hand,
.sbut I've had considerable experience
in sailing mines. Ohio, State Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

AJAX Your Dealer For Aliens Foot Ease,
n powder. 1t rests the feet. Cures Corns.
Bunions, Swollen, Sore, Hot, Callous, Aching
Sweating Feet and Ingrowing Nails. Allens
Foot-Ease makes new or tight shoes easy. At
all Druggists and Shoe stores, IS cents. Ae-
cePt no substitute. Sample mailed FREE.
Address Allen s. 0lmsted, Leroy, N, Y,
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20
YTE:z!z|54zT{MzE :@1
NY WIHINGD
N S5@
~

People usually live longer in islands
and small peninsulas than on con-
tinents. Barbados, Greece, Madeira
and the Shetlands are all favorable to
long life.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

When a ten-pound note was found in
the offertory box at the Kandu Myo-
jim shrine, at Toxic, Japan, recently, it
was considered too big an amount to
be offered to a deity, and the matter
was forthwith reported to the police.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

Arabic is the language of 200, 100000
people who dwell in all quarters of the
globe, and at least 2,O00,0 600 are now
under the care of the United States in
the Philippine Islands.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

A mans business is a curse when
he Is too busy to stop to do good
Rams Horn.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

A perfect pearl weighing 121 grain
and worth 10000 was found recent,
by O Prairie du Chen fisherman.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

Mrs. Winslow's Sc othing Syrup for children
teething, soften the gums, reduces infanma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie. 25c. abottls
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

FITS permanently cured. No fits or nervous
ness after first day'suse OF DIR. Kline's Great
NeryeRestorer. $2trial bottle and treatisefres
DE-. Be. KLINE, Ltd, 9S1 Arch St. Phila.. Pa.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

The man who admits his own weakness
has lost half the battle.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

Rev.H.P. Carson, Scotland Oak. says: saTwo
bottles ct Halls Catarrh Cure completely
cured mylittle girl" Sold by Druggists, 75c.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

The lawyer doesn't believe that every
man is entitled to his opinion.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

was CONSIDERED 100 Dig an auOuuL 10
be offered to a deity, and the matter
was forthwith reported to the police.
For heterogenity few cities have such
lower Manhattan, New York City.
Bristle-brushes are sold next door to
the spyglass shop; desks are to be had
just under the room of the MONDAY
prayer meetings; Greek sponge-fishery
company's headquarters elbow a haber-
dashery; a bookstore is neighbor to a
barber shop.
The mutton breeds Of sheep attain
great weights. AS early as 1874, In
England, a Leicester ram weighed 301
pounds; it's dressed carcass weighed
over 200 pounds. At the Philadelphia
Centennial an Oxford ram weighed
425 pounds. At the present time it Is
not unusual to find focks in which
some of the rams come up to that
weight, the average for the individuals
of the entire flock being 300 pounds.
In price eagles eggs average 81; fall
cons eggs, 81; hawks eggs, So; owls
eggs, Sc, and kites eggs, So. The eggs
Of the grouse and partridge family
range all the way from six cents for
the egg of a common rufled grouse up
to that Of the Canadian grouse, at
seventy-fve cents. There are 100 hum
ming-birds whose eggs are in the mar
ket, and, although the latter are
scarcely larger than beans, they bring
exceedingly good prices, varying from
twenty-five cents up to $40.
Sulphur rains" have been reported
from several parts of England, and
samples of yellow dust which have
been gathered up gave rise to the
belief that sulphur had fallen from
the sky. 1t is not sulphur, however,
Symon's Meteorological Magazine ex-
plains, but an organic substance, al
most certainly the pollen of some conf
fer. Sulphur rains" are even more
frequently recorded than rains Of
"blood' or "ink," and the cause has
been pointed out very frequently. 1t
is extremely unlikely that any volcanic
dust resulting from the West Indian
eruptions would take the form of SO
easily oxidisable q substance as sui
DhUr.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

in.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

Proerastination is q word that carries
wait.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

So baby l contracted catarrh, and was doc
Stored by several good physicians, but none
did me any good. My mother was taking
s Peruna at the time and gave some of It
Sto me, and | soon began to improve, and
Sam now well and fat as a little pig. / am
stwelve years old. The doctors told mother
81 had the consumption, but it was only ca
starrh."-Miss Pearl Bousch.
. 1t is no longer a question as to whether
3Peruna can be relied on to cure all such
Ceases. During the many years in which
SPeruna has been put to test in all forms
stages of acute and chronic catarrh
no one year has put this remedy to greater
test than the past year.
Peruna is the acknowledged catarrh REM
edy of the age. DIR. Hartman, the COM
FOUNDER of iPcruna, has written q POOL on
the phases of catarrh peculiar to women,
entitled, 'sHealth and Beauty" 1t will be
sent free to any address by The Peruna
Medicine Co., Columbus, Ohio.
If you do not. derive prompt and salts
factory results. from the use of Peruna,
write at once to DIR. Hartman, giving a
full statement of your case and he will be
pleased to give you his valuable advice
gratis. =,
Address DIR. Hartman, President Of The
Hartman Sanitari9n. Columbus. Ohio.
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

Pisc's Cure cannot be too highly spoken OF
% q cough cure.-J. W. O'BRIEN, 322 Third
Avenue, NJ, Minneapolis, Mimi, Jan. 6, 1893
The Opelousas courier., 1902-09-20

| Spruce grows nearer the arctic regions
than n other tree.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
First published August 16, 1907
Publication Summons.

In the district court of Cherokee county,
Kansas, sitting at Galena.
E. J. Sween, plaintiff,
VS..
Mile Sweem, defendant
To the above named defendent. Miliie
Sweem: You are hereby notified that the
above named plaintiff has commenced
his action in the district court of Chero'
kee county, Kansas, sitting at Galena, ask
ing for divorce from you on the grounds
of abandonment, extrem cruelty and gross
neglect of duty to said plaintiff: that I'M
less you answer said petition on or before
the 9th day of September, 1902, said petit
ion will be taken as true and judgment
rendered granting said divorce and judg-
ment for costs and such other relief as Is
just and equitable as prayed for in said
petition.
L. Z. JONES & CULLIsoN & SKIDMoRE.
Attorneys for Plaintiff.
Attest; J. NJ, Wales, Clerk District Court.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

An ordinance relating to weeds and
grass in the city of Baxter
Springs, Kansas.
Be 1t ordained by the mayor and
councilmen of the city of Baxter
Springs, Kansas:
SECTION l. It shall be unlawful
for any person being the owner, &C.
cupant or agent of any lot or lots in
this city to allow weeds or grass to
grow upon the same, or upon any
sidewalk, street or alley adjoining
such premises, 80 as to obstruct or
impede travel, or become offensive
to others, or to grow in such man.
ner that they may decay and prove
detrimental to the health of the in
habitants of said city.
SECTION 2. 1t shall be the duty of
the city marshal to notify owners,
occupants or agents of lots to cut
weeds and grass adjoining the
same when in his opinion 1t ia nee
essary; and when such owner, &C.
cupant or agent can not be found,
or is not known, the marshal shall
cause the work to be done, and GER
tify the amount charged for the
work to the city clerk, whose duty
it shall be to have such amount
taxed against the property adjoin.
ing the work done.
SECTION 8. The marshal shall
give five days notice to any owner,
occupant or agent, to cut weeds or
grass as aforesaid; and if written
notice has been given, and such
owner, occupant or agent shall re-
fuse or neglect to comply with
such notice, he shall be deemed
guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon
conviction in police court shall be
fined in any cum not less than three
dollars, nor more than ten dollars,
and adjudged to pay the costs of
such prosecution.
SECTION 4. All ordinances or
parts of ordinances in conflict here
with are hereby repealed.
SECTION 5. This ordinance shall
take effect and be in force from and
after it's publication.
Approved this 9th day of Sept. 1902.
c. W. DANIELS, Mayor.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
BROKE HIS LEG.
Congressman Jackson Meets w
Bad Accident at Mineral.

Congressman Jackson met with a
bad accident at Mineral Thursday
night, which will lay him up for
several weeks. Mr.. Jackson ad-
dressed political meeting at Min
eral, and was coming down out of
the hall to start for Columbus. He
was in company with Sheriff o. w.
Sparks. After leaving the hall they
started for the livery stable to get
their team, but had only gone a
short distance when Mr.. Jackson
stepped into hole in the sidewalk,
throwing him violently to the
ground. In the fall his foot
turned in such manner as to
break both bones in his leg just
above the ankle. Several other par
ties from Columbus were just be-
hind and they assisted him to the
home of Leslie Patterson and doc
tor from McCune was sent for who
reduced the fracture, and Mr.. Jack.
son is doing as well az could be ex.
pected under the circumstances.
The fracture is bad one and it will
probably be several weeks before
he is able TO be out.
Mr.. Jackson has beeu taken to his
home at Winfield, Mrs. Jackson and
a Winfield physician coming after
him.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
LAUGH ON THE INFIDEL.

During one of E. L. Hyde's evan.
gelical trips he told Scranton
gathering that infidels were fools,
and that he would undertake to
prove his argument in 10 minutes
IL any professed infidel wished to
give the opportunity. A man in
the audience rose and was politely
asked by Hyde to speak if he wished
to speak. "Mr. Hyde" was the reply,
~ have been listning 10 you with
interest this half hour; but think
your most recent statement is a
challenge l cannot let pass. l am
an infidel, but I'm not a fool. I'm a
man of education and culture; I've
travelled. and I know more than the
average person, believer or non.b--
lever" do you really believe
asked Mr.. Hyde, that there is moth.
ing in religion? Would you go On
record az saying suchI" go on
recordr" querried the man in sur
prize. "Why, I've been writing and
preaching against religion this last
70 years." "And you say there's
nothing in it," absolutely moth.
ing" "Well, said I'd prove you a
fool within 10 minutes" said Hyde,
lookisg at his watch. II still have
seven minutes left. I will leave it
to the gathering if that man is
not fool who devotes 20 years to
preaching against something
which he claims has nothing in it."
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

Use the California Cold Process
for preserving fruits and vegeta
bles. 1t is the best, purest, clean.
est, healthiest and cheapest process
in the world. Don't spoil your fruit
by cooking it, but put it up cold,
thereby retaining the natural color,
taste and flavor of fresh fruit. Nine.
tenths of the fruit that is cooked
before being canned. goes through
the process of fermentation, thus
rendering il unfit to eat. Fruit pre-
served by the "Cal. Cold Process"
does not ferment, therefore ii is the
only canned fruit fit for food. One
box of Compound Extract of Salyx
will preserve fourteen gallons of
fruit by the "cold process" Don't
fail to get box, and you will have
delicious fruit for the winter. The
Compound Ext. of Salyx for sale by
our agents all over the United
States, or you can get it direct from
as. Price 500 per box.
REV. A. CULLIsoN, Baxter Springs,
Kas, Agent for Cherokee county.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

Many Baxter Democrats went to
Joplin Tuesday to take in the doin's'
The Missouri Democratic State
campaign was opened at Joplin
that day and there were probably
10000 extra people in Joplin that
day. VIM. ]. Bryan, Governor Dock
cry and VIM. ]. Stone were among
the celebrities present. Twas a big
day for Joplin.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
sPRINGvALLEY REPUBLICANS.

SPRINuVALLEf kEPUbLlCANS.
The Republicans of Springvalley
township nominated the following
ticket Monday night:
For Trustee-Wm. Buchan.
For Treasurer-Andrew Swogger.
For Clerk. Orr Chubb.
For Justice-Geo. Stofskopf.
For Constables-Orren Calls and
Horace Chubb.
For Road Overseers-Ira Harmon
and Ralph Burr.
c. E. Collins was reelected cen.
trail committeeman.
VIM. Buchan was chairman of
the meeting and L. L. Dean secre-
tary.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10.
CURED WITH HORSE. MINT.

A certain former sheriff of Chero-
kee county tells the followin story
which may be relied upon as true,
and which may be of interest to dis
trict judges, generally:
One day, while Judge Chandler
was on the bench of the district
court, he called the sderiff to the
bar and said, "Mr. Sheriff, adjourn
this court until 1:30, and if I am not
back here by that time, adjourn it
until tomorrow morning" When
the court was adjourned the judge
called the sheriff aside and, in a
facetious manner, told him that he
(the judge was suffering from
"some kind of summer complaint,
cholera infantum, asbestos, bots or
digitalis," and that he thought he
would not be back to the court
house any more that day. The sher-
if said, "You go down to the hotel,
but don't eat anything until I come
down, which will be within half an
hour" The sheriff then hurried out
of the old court house, on the north
east corner of the square, got on
his horse and rode out into the
prairie, where he knew there was
some horse mint. He gathered
good bunch of it and went back to
the hotel. The judge was waiting
for him, though he did not know
what the sheriff would bring him.
It may be that he expected the
sheriff to bring him a bottle OF
blackberry cordial, or some other
well known remedy, but if he did
he was mistaken. The sheriff
handed him the bunch of horse
mint and told him to eat come OF
the leaves. He did 80, and he took
the bunch with him into the dining
room and continued eating the
leaves along with his dinner. He
went back to the court house at l:3O
all right, and he sat on the bench
through the remainder of the day.
Once afterward, while holding
court, he called the sheriff to the
bar and said, "Mr. Sheriff, I have
that same trouble again and I guess
you will have to get me some more
horse mint" The sheriff sent Bart
Kellogg out on the prairie for the
medicine. He brought in the horse
mint and the judge was again cured
of his malady. N. I. ALLISON.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

Charlie Ward told us Sunday that
on last Saturday the Berry ferry
boat broke loose from its cable
while crossing the river. There
were five persons and buggy and
team on II when 1t broke loose. The
boys took the harness off the team
when they started down the river
80 that in CAGE of accident the team
could have a chance to swim ashore.
They finally succeeded in landing
about PA miles down the river. In
the buggy was caught by
a limb of an overhanging tree and
with the harness was pulled into
the river. Mr.. Wards boy jumped
off and made his way to the bank
with a rope. In trying to make the
rope fast he was caught between
the bank and the boat and was
up good deal, but not ser
iously hurt-Miami Herald.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
COMPLETED,

The Presbyterian church is now
completed, and the work of beauti-
flying the grounds is going on. The
new building Is beauty, being one
of the most handsome places of
worship in this section. The new
church will be dedicated Sunday,
Sept. %.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

Mr.. and Mrs. B. A. Smith and Mrs.
III. E. Smith returned Sunday even
ing from Indianola, Iowa, where
they attended the funeral of the lat
ter's father, Jno. Cheshire.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

! can furnish you any kind of a
pump you want; also any kind of
cylinders. The Aermotor pump
and Deming pump are as good as
is made. I fit pumps for any depth
or kind of wells and cisterns. Agent
for the Aermotor wind will. II rune
in lighter wind than any other
mill made. Estimates made on
mill outfits, either for water or pow.
er mills. Do all kinds sanitary
plumbing and sewer work. Repair
all kinds of gasoline stoves.
ED. JOHNSON.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13
TO LEASE.

40 acres of what is known to be
good mineral land. Lease will be
made only to parties who will act
in good faith and prospect the
land. Inquire at this office.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

G. R. GOULD has added to his
large stock of Hardware a full
line of Mower Repairs, such as
Knives, Sections, Guards, Ledger
Plates and Rivets, for different
makes of Mowers. He also has
the agency for the CHAMPION
BINDERS AND MOWERS.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1902-09-13

The NEWS is in receipt of a COM
ununication from Quapaw which IL
will publish when we find ont who
the author lie. A good and fair
newspaper never publishes anony.
NOUS communicatious. The writer's
name should always be signed to
anything intended for publication.
The name will not be published I'M
less desired. 1t is only wanted to
protect the publisher, and as an
evidenceof good faith on the part
Of the writer.