The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-08-29
ANCIENT and honorable
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dollar golf balls that have taken the
place o. the 25-cent ones he started
out with, but which he has discarded
because he felt they was in some way
responsible for his poor playin'. An
then he joins golf club where the
dues is $40 year, an bout that time
he finds out that unless everything he
wears or uses-coat, trousers, shirt
necktie, collars, collar buttons, cuffs,
cuff buttons, stockin's, shoes, shoe
strings, handkerchiefs, pocket knife
smokin' tobacco, matchsafe, lead
pencils, Shawn soap, politics. an
religion-hassbeen specially made fer
golf players, he's as helpless as fish
out O. water.
Try to play golf in the same
clothes you'd wear to go a-fshin'
er to meetin an you'd find yourself
in trouble. One day last summer one
O our young lady boarders was a.
bamboozled as they say, an couldn't
hit the bail at all till She discovered
she had on her bicycle necktie in
stead the one fer made golf playin.
When she'd corrected her mistake she
1t clear over into Thompson s pasture
an purity nigh killed his yearlin'
bull
"But golf playin is bout the great
est exercise they is. [ s'pose beatin'
carpet er mowin' with dull scythe
is ohild's play long side of it. If it
want fer the fact that our boarders
couldn't spare time enough from the
golf links, last summer, to come to
their meals. they'd have EFT us out
o. house and home. Over to Stowell's
"Meadder Brook Rest they have two
rates fer board. Jest common folks
pay IS week an golf players &c. an
Stowell says he loses money on golf
ers at that.
1t ulster be the fashion fer young
women who was out here from the
city to faint every time they see
caterpillar an to be so kinder feeble
like it jest used EN- up to play q
game o. oroquet. But say I'd hate
to see one O. these new style golf
girls turned loose in a croouet
ground. She'd split the mallets an
make kindlin' wood O. the hull outfit
in less n no time. An Jest now the
prevailin' fashion is fer woman to
knock golf ball half mile, purity
near. an so longs that's the fashion
she can an will do it [ think it's
mighty lucky that health is becomin'
fashionable with the women folks,
though | s'pose golf an them things
costs about as much as doctor bills.
When woman who knows how to
put on all the frills o. the game goes
to strike golf ball it would pay you
to put by whatever you're ADDING
an jest watch her She sort O winds
herself up till she's twisted bout like
corkscrew an her head an her feet
amt goin' in the same direction at
all. But jest when you think she is
certain to come in two, she winks at
the ball over her left shoulder an
sort O. let's go with wild whir, an
when you find out what happened
you learn that the ball is away over
yonder on the other side of the farm,
I've been told that girl that's too
weak to lift broom at home can
raise golf ball over a stone wall
twenty rods away. An to see a girl
roll up her sleeves an show you an
arm tanned bout the color of an old
shoe, grab a golf stick, wind herself
up and then with an awful swing
that measures forty nine feet from
tip to tip, knocks golf ball clear into
the middle O. next week, short o.
skaters that 'clingin' vine idee O.
women the poets are talkin bout
| jest can't imagine how Teller get
tin less N 81 a week has the nerve
to pop the question to girl after
seem her play golf -