davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24
Clever Trick Did Not Work.

A printer on one of the Philadelphia
morning newspapers recently took a
might off, in a small game of poker
and finished winner by SIS. When
he cashed he received his money in
@-cart-wh ee1s-'' He knew his wife was
not averse to searching his pockets
when he slept late O. mornings; and,
fearing the Jingle of the silver pieces
would lead her into temptation, he
slipped a dollar under the carpeting
of each step as he climbed the stairs
to his bedroom When he arose for
breakfast and dressed he remembered
his precautiOn homecoming e,
and quietly chuckled as he
prepared to make profitable
descent to breakfast. AS he
stepped on the landing in front OF
his bedroom door his shoes rang out
on bare boards, and, glancing down,
he saw the stairs stripped of carpet
His wife had begun her spring house
cleaning
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24
only the Sick Need Medicine.

There are men who believe that all
that is necessary to revise the tariff
is to give a brief time to the cutting
of duties The country was prosper
Gus in 1892 until the defeat of Gen.
Harrison made sweeping tariff re-
vision certain. Such sweeping re-
vision was made in the Wilson bill,
which the house passed. The Cor
man bill, which became law, saved
the iron and other schedules, but the
certainty of revision along purely
revenue lines was the leading cause
of the panic which followed the in
auguration of Mr. Cleveland. Recov-
cry did not come until the passage of
the Dingley law
With this warning before the coIn-
try the general revision of the tariff
should be made with the greatest
care. The country is prosperous be-
yond precedent. Few people can be
greatly injured by retention of the
present tariff for season. when labor
is SO generally employed and many
lines of manufacture are crowded
with orders. The Pfttsburg Dispatch
an Independent Republican paper,
holding conservative views on the
tariff, is right when it says that "tar-
in revision is a medicine; it may do
some good when commerce is I'M
healthy, but If, in the height of bust
ness vigor, begin tfnkering the
industrial body with nostrums it NAV
very soon reach the condition of bad
health The growing sentiment
among Republicans who discuss the
question in Washington is in favor of
experts But, whatever policy may
be adopted, the Republican party will
be united in its support-Indianapo
Journal.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24
RECIPROCITY WITH CANADA.
American Farmers Certain to Protest
AGAINST 1t.

American Farmers Certain to Protest
Against It.
A delegation representing the Cham
bers of Commerce of the United States
has told President Roosevelt that It
believes reciprocity with Canada Will
be of great value to American COM
merce and industry. The President told
the delegation that he would take the
matter under Amusement. This Is
usually a polite method of saying that
one is not ready to take action
At this time Canada is the best pur-
chaser of American products after the
United Kingdom and Germany There
is doubt that freer trade relations
with the Dominion would add largely
to its American purchases, especially
as regards manufactured goods. There
would also be largely increased coz
sumption of American coal.
1t will not be an easy matter, how
ever, to negotiate reciprocity treaty
such Canada desires, for the reason
that the Canadians will be more ready
to receive than to give. They will ask
for many concessions. They will be
willing to make few But even If a
treaty should be negotiated on what
could fairly be called reasonable
terms, its ratification would be more
than doubtful. There are many in
terests which would protest against
reciprocity in which they would see an
injury to themselves.
AS a matter of course Canada would
insist on lower duties farm and gar
dent products. Against this concession
all the American farmers anywhere
near the boundary line between the
two countries would protest. They
would tell of their losses if the cheaper
vegetables, eggs and poultry of the
Canadians came into competition with
their products. These farmers are not
without influence in Congress. While
the mine owners of Ohio and Indiana
would favor free trade in coal, East
ern mine owners who do not wish to
have to compete with Nova Scotia coal
in New England would object to it.
The manufacturing interests rule
would look kindly on reciprocity, but
other powerful interests would oppose
it,
So until a reciprocity project shall
have been devised which offends no
body the customs duties on Canadian
products are likely to remain they
are. To get up a scheme which does
not disp1ease somebody is beyond the
power of man.-ChicagO Tribune.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Thank ye." (Pause.) Lowed I'd
lost it. Left my coat on the wagon
seat while I went to water the horses.
Bin in my coat pocket bout three
years now"
A long silence.
LOW we kin marry now, Liz
&c Low we kim Another pause, and
then.
.sWhen?''
t'Tmorrow,~ low
'-An right Goodnight, Liz"
-'Good-night Jim
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24
Their opinfons of Rovaltv.

When 1 first went to London. says
Julian Ralph, 1 used to question the
people about their feelings toward
their ru1ers-the plain people, I mean,
as I met them on the omnibuses and
here and there They always said
that the old queen was a saint and
almost too good to be true as 1t
were OF the prince they said tOh,
'e's all right Els fine man, e is; a
ard workin', STRAIGHTFORWARD man
who as 'ad a lot of abuse wot he don't
deserve and a deal of patience a
waitin' to come to the throne And
then 1 would ask what they thought of
the present queen The reply usually
was: she. Why, she's perfect han
GEL
why does everyone call her an an
ge1?''
why? On account of what she's
ad to put up with from 'er 'usband, to
be sure
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
Of the DeathIike Stiffness Following
the Stopping of Clock at Night.

OF the DeathIike Stiffness Following
the Stopping of Clock at Night
Ever hear a clock stop in the mid
die of the night?'' said the retired
burglar. II did, once, and 1 never was
much more scared by anything, for a
minute, in my life
I'D just picked up watch that was
1ayin' the top Of a bureau in a
house that 1 was in when all of a sud
den there seemed to drop right down,
somehow, stiffness that was like
death; and 1 found myself standing
there holding that watch and looking
around in the dark in all directions
expecting something terrible to hap
pen; and scared?
why, for minute 1 was scared al
most out of my senses. And then all
of a sudden it struck me that clock
I'd been hearing ticking away good
and strong up to that minute in the
room back of the one I was in had
stopped.
9TH ats all, but that was enough for
me, and I just slid out.
Il like a quiet house, but I don't
like one with that kind of stiffness in
it; and then, sometimes folks are woke
up by a clock stopping just about as
quick as they could be by the firing
of gun
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Probably you think you know what
perityphlitis is, but do you know how
to pronounce it?
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The New York state minister who
sued for a Sc funeral sermon fee and
proved that his effort was worth SIS
must have put the pedal when he
used the adjectives descriptive of a
deserving life.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Frankfort, Kentucky. is somewhat
alarmed over the wonderful prepon-
derance of female babies there. This
is the first intimation ever given that
such a thing as too many Kentucky
girls could be possible
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The Chicago mi1kman who dis
proved the charge that he sold poor
milk by exhibiting in court half a doz-
en- fat babies fed from his dairy prod
uct knew the value of circum stantial
evidence
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

1t is a fortunate reformer whose
promises are not followed by heavy
crop OF apologies
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Will the yachting experts kindly no.
tice that it was an American boat that
won in European waters also?
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The pessimist who reads of that
stabbing ARRAY between two of our
schoolgirls may be pardoned for ex-
claiming whittier are we drifting %
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

That Cincinnati woman who is urg-
ing her sisters to adopt reform
dress that costs SIPS is in a fair
way to become very popular with the
Sterner sex.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Kipling has rescinded his gift of a
drill hall to rockingham Perhaps the
villagers were using it for pfng-pong.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

No matter what the scoffers say, the
fact remains that the girl graduate is
clever she is pretty, which is
saying a good deal.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Mary MacLane is going direct from
Butte to Boston Is this from the
sublime to the ridiculous or vice
versa?
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Is it not trffie late to worry over
the religion of George Washington?
George was a rather useful and re-
spectacle citizen, and the chances arc
that he has been well taken care of.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The combination of a Kansas farm
er, shotgun and a harvest field ap-
pears to have solved the tramp Ques-
ton.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Now that learned Judge of Jersey
City has defined the making of goo
goo eyes an attention without in
tentions the world can go with a
new sense of security.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

A pickle trust with $4,000, 900 capt.
tai has been formed. This is one of
the sourest doses of all.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

An Englishman travelling in Siberia
was astonished to find that all IT.
kutsk should have gone out of town
for the summer just as if it were New
York or Naples"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

A New York merchant advertises
real pseudo panama hats The ca
pabilities of the language continue to
be immeaSurabIe.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

We are not likely soon to forget
that King Edward remembered the
poor of London even while the sur
geon's knife placed his crown in the
balance.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The crown of Great Britain is like
King Edwards vermiform appendage
in a detached state.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

They say it was overwork that made
King Edward sick, but he may have
had a look at Alfred Austin's ode be-
fore it was given out for publication.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Patrick F. Sheedy has gone abroad
to form a company to engage in the
mining of emeraldS- He cannot break
himself of the habit of working with
green things.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

1t is not difficult to trace the origin
of King Edwards ailment. He was
a member of twenty clubs, most of
which had men cooks.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Richard Harding Davis says the
Spanish empire is not lettering King
AlfOnso's legs must be good deal
stronger than they look.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The postpOnement of the corona
ton was a great blow to the peeresses
who had provided themselves with
new gowns.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The automobiles in the Kansas
wheat district cannot pass each other
in the lanes on account of the NOW
ing machines.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

The first winner at the interna-
tiOnal yacht races at Kfel was the
Uncle Sam. There something in
name now and then.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

1t will be by means an fnsignif1-
cant Accomplishment for the king to
disappoint the superstitious.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

nation that becomes drunk with
prosperity is sure to wake up with
headache
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Paris is still patiently waiting for
Simon Sam to unpack his SIC, 0oO, Ooo-
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

Probably it was remorse that-drove
the author of 100000 Eyes" to
drink
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24
THE GLOBE-REPUBLTCAN.

oLoBE-REFUBLrOAN rRTe. co..fuD..
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-07-24

THE GLOBE-REPUBLICAN.
0LoBE-REPUBLICAN PRTG. CO. Pubs.
DODGE CITY, KANSAS.
Paris is still patiently waiting for
Simon Sam to unpack his SIC, 200, 0oO-
Probably it was remorse that-drove
the author of 100000 Eyes" to
drink
A nation that becomes drunk with
prosperity is sure to wake up with a
headache
Probably you think you know what
perityph1itis is, but do you know how
to pronounce it?
1t is a fortunate reformer whose
promises are not followed by heavy
crop Of apologies
The crown of Great Britain is like
in a detached state.
pickle trust with $4,000, 900 CAPT
tai has been formed This is of
the sourest doses of all.
1t will be by no means an insignifi-
cant accomplishment for the king to
disappoint the superstitious.
Will the yachting experts kindly no
tice that it was an American boat that
won in European waters also?
Kipling has rescinded his gift of a
drill hall to rockingham Perhaps the
villagers were using it for ping-pong-
er, shotgun and harvest field ap-
pears to have solved the tramp ques-
ton
Mary MacLane is going direct from
Butte to Boston. Is this from the
sublime to the ridiculous vice
versa?
The postponement of the corona
ton was a great blow to the peeresses
who had provided themselves with
new gowns.
The automobiles in the Kansas
wheat district cannot pass each other
ing machines.
A New York merchant advertises
real pseudo panama hats" The ca
pabilities of the language continue to
be Unreasonable.
No matter what the scoffers say, the
fact remains that the girl graduate is
as clever as she is pretty, which is
saying good deal
1t is not dif1cult to trace the origin
of King Edwards ailment. He was
member of twenty clubs, most of
which had men cooks.
The first winner at the interna-
tional yacht races at Kte1 was the
Uncle Sam. There something in a
name now and then
Richard Harding Davis says the
Spanish empire is not lettering King
Alfonso's legs must be good deal
stronger than they look.
We are not likely soon to forget
that King Edward remembered the
poor of London even while the
geon's knife placed his crown in the
balance.
Patrick F. Sheedy has gone abroad
to form a company to engage in the
mining of emeralds- He cannot break
himself of the habit of working with
green things.
That Cincinnati woman who is urg-
ing her sisters to adopt reform
dress that costs SIPS is in a fair
way to become very popular with the
Sterner sex.
An Englishman travelling in Siberia
was astonished to find that all Ir-
kutsk should have gone out of town
for the summer just if it were New
York or Naples
Now that a learned Judge of Jersey
City has defined the making of goo
goo eyes attention without in
tentions the world can go on with a
new sense of security.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14

Last chance to buy wyoming Queen
Stock at 10 cents.
f. r. FAIRBoTHER.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
Mrs. A. B. Lamb is visiting with
friends in Augusta.

Mrs. A. B. Lamb Is visiting with
friends in Augusta.
Preserve your fruits without cooking.
Ask Bucknam how.
Boy wanted-to run bobbin winder,
nights. Marston Worsted Mills.
Mrs. Ann Lumsden is paying a visit
to her SOD, William, in Aspen, Colo.
Mrs. w. B. Fletcher left on the morn.
ing train for visit of few weeks with
her sister In Pennington.
j. B. Goodrich of Waterville wac In
town, yesterday. Mr Goodrich was for
merly resident of Palmyra.
Capt. Nathan Fowler is attending the
reunion of his regiment, the 10th Maine
Infantry, at Gardiner, today.
Mrs. E. B. Curtis and her mother, Mrs
M. Keefe returned, Wednesday afternoon
from few weeks outing at Old Orchard.
Gen. Isaac Dyer and Col. A. G. Blunt
went to Augusta, on the morning train
to attend the muster of the lst regiment.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
Personal.

viii the young man seen smoking a
Somerset on one of the rear seats Of the
electric car last Sunday please inform
his friends that said cigar is just what
they are looking for and can be bought
Of all first class dealers.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
M AR RED.

Skowhegan-August 18th by Rev. q. F. Huse.
Mr. William A. Smith to Rose E. Cookson.
Caratuuk, Aug. S-By Rev. Mr.. Gregory OF
Gorham, Mr.. John Redmond and Miss Eva
Rowell, both OF Bingham.
Scion, Aug. 10-By Rev. E. T. Adams, Mr..
Roscoe A. Tuttle of Athens, and Miss Grace
M. Butler of Brighton.
Madison, Aug. BY Rev. S. E. Leech Geo
e. Smell and Miss Alberta A. Brsnscombe
both OF Madison.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
aEw ADVERTISER Ekrs.

yibel-E. N. Merrill.
Notice-B. A. Sawyer.
snesker-Jas. S. Carey.
perfumes-W. P. Ordway.
nntician-J. R. Philbrick.
real Estate-Dr. Conant.
Eor Sale-D. II. Bartlett.
steel Roofs-Chas. A. Ross.
Specialties-Geo. Simpson.
Nark-Down-Ernest Vigue.
The Weather-Chas. F. Ward.
More Money-Walter Savage.
Ciearance Sale-D. F. Judkins.
witch Hazel-F. w. Bucknam.
summer Goods-W. H. Wildes.
Foreclosure-James o. Bradbury.
caution Notice-G. A. Mclaughlin.
Marble Works-Chas. L. Worthley.
Road Petition-County Commissioners.
Midsummer Clearance-W. B. Steward.
Rusiness Oourse-Shaw Business College.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
Steward Bros
More MONEY
for FARMERS

have recently established COM
mission house in Skowhegan for the
sale of live stock such as Cattle of all
kinds veals, sheep, Swine, Poultry,
etc, and solicit sales from you when
you have anything in the above list you
wish to convert into cash at highest
prices.
shall ship car direct to Brighton
market each Monday morning where an
experienced representative will attend
to the sales.
BY satisfactory dealings and prompt
settlements hope to be entrusted with
any business you may have in my line
and I guarantee you better prices than
you can obtain in any other way. am,
Sincerely yours,
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
Special N Office.

All parties indebted to the south Side Gro
Gerry Company are requested to call and settle
on or before August 18th, as after that date the
accounts will be in the hands OF an attorney
The hooks will be found at the old stand
DONALDSON e. BENNER.
Skowhegan, Aug. 5, 1902.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
DIED.

aged As years.
Lynn, Mass, Aug, 9-Walter Steward, form
erly of Skowhegsn, aged 50 years,
Skowhegan, August 10-silas Richardson,
aged 10 years
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
WOOD FOR SALE.

Dry Hard Wood, either fitted for stove or in
four foot length, in lots to suit. Leave orders
at SOUTHARDS STABLE, opposite Hotel
Heselton, accompanied with the cash, and ID
will be delivered promptly.
The Somerset reporter., 1902-08-14
WALTER SAVAGE.
Notice to
Contractors.

Proposals will be received by the
School Committee for the construction
of a schoolhouse at or near MalbOn' s
Corner in Skowhegan on or before Mon
day, Aug. IS, 1902, at eight o'clock at
the rooms of the School Committee
where they will be opened and consid-
cred.
Plans and specifications can be had of
b. A SAWYER,
1w33 Skowhegan, Maine.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-09-11
FUTURE OF MODERN ARMIES.
French Government Would Reduce Term
Of Service.

The dispute raging in France over
the government proposal to reduce
the term of compulsory service in
barracks to two years Is one, as we be-
lleye, says the London Spectator, of
extreme significance. France being
at once the most military of nations
and the one most susceptible to new
ideas, her example is almost sure,
sooner or later, to persuade Europe;
and 1t seems almost certain that she
intends this example should be set.
The older generals, it is true, and
probably a majority Of the officers,
are bitterly against the scheme.
They say that the French character
Is inherently opposed to passive
obedience, and that it takes at least
three years to bring the conscript 10
the necessary attitude of mind. He
has not the German reverence for
superlors, or the Germans habit Of
Difference toward all who are legally
entitled to give orders. They doubt
if he will remain to be a noncommis-
stoned officer, and ask, with per-
sistcnce that rather disconcerts the
treasury, where, if the sous-oilicer is
to be retained by higher pay, the
money is TO come from.
They see that the socialist idea Of
substituting the Swiss system of
trained militia for that Of regular
armies gains ground yearly among
the peasantry and they believe that
it will be directly promoted by the
abolition Of exemptions, which will
render the entire cultivated class,
who now TO the number Of $4,000
serve only for one year, bitterly hos
tile to barracks life. The conse-
quence, they predict, will be fur
ther general reduction to one year,
and then the adoption of the Swiss
system Of an armed militia trained as
soldiers for six months only, and
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-09-11
DID DUTY FOR ALL.
A Ieweled cigsr-csse Given Away with
No Parting Psngs

Some wears ago, according to Lon
don Tit Bits, a foreign diplomat,
who shall be nameless, presented his
letters of recall to certain king,
who invited him to a farewell ban
ouct at the palace, presenting HIM
during the course of the evening with
superb golden cigar case, studded
with costly jewels, as a memento OF
hi, ,oJourn at the court and of his
maiesty's appreciation OF the sery-
nee. hc had rendered.
On the day following the presenta-
tion note arrived from the grand
master Of the kings household, beg
png that the case might be returned
for some slight alteration-some
thing or other was TO be inscribed on
the interior Of the case. OF course
the diplomat sent II.
\ fcv days elapsed, and then the
diplomat ycnturcd to inJuirc how
the alterations were progressing and
when be might expect "A return OF
the case. as he was in a hurry to leave
thr country and get home.
4 polite reply was forwarded that
thc alterations would be completed
DO day or two. At considerable in
convenience the diplomat tarried a
week, prcicrring to wait TO intrust-
ing the costly gift toa shipping agent
to deliver 20 him in England. \
fortnight elapsed, three weeks, and
then. in despair, after wasting much
stationery and ink. the wearied d>plo-
mat sc, .all, leaving his address be-
hind him From that day to this the
cigar case has never turned up.
Recently, however, he met his sue
cc..or, who, in his turn, had just left
the court. The latter was full of en-
thu.iasm about the king, who, he ex-
claimed, rs a capital fellow lie
presented me with a splendid gold
cigar case. heavily oncrusted with
magnificent gems, when / took my
leave Of him. would like TO show
D, to YOU, only they asked to have it
back for a bit to make an alteration
OF some sort"
The smile that developed on the
features Of the other diplomat be-
came very broad, and investigation
brought to light the fact that yet
other diplomats had been treated in
the same manner; that Is TO say, pre-
eumably the identical gold cigar
case had done duty for them all.