Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1902-08-14
SHE GIVES THE CAT A LIFT.

to let him see how mistaken he Is. You
knew that he'd been courtin' me for a
year past, didn't you"
Not officially, widder, not as one rep
resentinS the constitution, the Amer
lean flag and S0,00O000 of freemen,
which | do. might have heard word
or two as private citizen, but Pm not
much given to gossip. So Lem Johnson
has been courting you"
Gle has, and he has as good as asked
me to marry him. Up to two weeks
ago he was here at least three nights a
week and all the afternoon Sunday, and
he was talkin' love all the time"
"ThGn something happened, did it,?
'SOmethin' did. He got acquainted
with the new schOolma'am, and 1t
seems that he fell head over heels In
love with her. She's already braggin'
around that she's put my nose out Of
Joint"
"Shoo! | didn't believe Lem was a
trifer"
"Nor l. When he said | had the
most beautiful eyes he had ever seen,
| thought he was in earnest. He prais-
ed my hair, my teeth, my nose and my
chin, and he didn't appear as If he was
iokin' about it."
But did he ever ask you plumb out
10 marry him." | says.
'Not plumb out, Abe; not in so many
words. He was gettln' around to that,
you know. No, he never asked me
plumb out, but he talked of the moon
and stars and rOsebushes and Niagara
falls and whippOorwills and all that
Once he held my hand and said he
would like to live on n desert island
with me all the rest of his life That
was about the same as poppin' the
question. wasn't itY'
Yes, about the same. Did you have
any quarrel with him two weeks agOY'
Not a word, Abe. When he went
away, he said that all needed to be-
come an angel was n pair of wings.
Two days later that little freclIled fac
ed, stub nosed schOolma'am had him
under her thumb"
and what's going to be done" l
asks.
I'm goin' to raise n row." she says
as her teeth clicked together. Lem
Johnson nor nobody else wants to
make a mistake on me. No man on
earth can toy with my heart for a year
and then throw me over his shoulder.
Lem will find that he's got the wrong
pig by the ear before he gets through
with me"
"What'll you do, widderW
That's what | wanted to talk with
you about, Abe. How would it be if /
sued for breach of prOmise?"
"IIave you got any letters from
Lem?"
mo. He can't write very well, you
know, and he was here so often that
there was no need Of letters"
you've got to have letters to prove
yOur case. He may have talked about
the moon and Niagara falls and all
that, but no jury would convict. You
ought to have had a proposal in black
and white. something he couldn't
dodge"
"Then I'll meet him and hOrSewhip
him." she declares as she gets up and
kicks over a chair
He'd outrun you, widder. He'd be
ever the fence and into the woods be-
fore you could touch him"
"The idea Of it!' she says as she gives
the cat a lift with her foot. "The idea
of that little understood, squint eyed
schoolma'am takin' Lem Johnson from
me when l expected to be married in
the spring! | won't stand 1t, Abe.
won't allow it, not even IL l have to
upset the whole United States. You
must know some way that l can do
sOmethin'."
81 don't sknssly see any way. It's
mighty mean of Lem and that school
ma'am, but | don't see how you can
touch 'em. The lives of all widders is
full of just such disappointments, and
they must bear 'em the best they can"
But heres one who won't bear 'emp'
she shouts, with tears in her eyes.
ABE, ii you won't help me In this
thing Tll--Hll shoot somebody! I'll
TT'-
And then she broke down and fell to
weeping and sobbinG and made 1t un-
comfortable for me. To Chirk her up
| had to tell her that as l was going
right past Lem Johnson's house Ia
stop and have a little chat with him,
and she was feeling Il little more pcart
when l left An hour later, when |
drove up TO JohnsOn's farm, was toId
that Lem was out at the barn tanning
out hayseed. | went out and found
him. and after q few words l says:
Lem. what's the little schOOlma'am