davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
1NFoRMAr1oN.

The actual Influence of our great lakes
| on the climate Of stations on the wind
ward side Is appreciable by the Increased
cloudiness twenty miles from the shore,
but not much beyond; it's influence on the
| temperature is only appreciable by the
prevention Of early frosts by reason Of
the formation OF cloud and fog.
| The brains of newborn boys weigh. on
| the average, 3,l grams of new born girls,
'6i. At the end of the first year the
figures are: Boys, a6I; girls, Sa3 BY the
end of the third year. the weight Of the
brain mas trlpled, and from this epoch II
increases very slowly. especially with
girls. 1t attains its greatest weight at
about nineteen and u half years for men,
at about seventeen for women. The
average weight of the brain of an adult
male Is l.4OO grams; of an adult female
| ], ,215 grams. The reduction OF weight due
to senile atrophy commences with men
about the eightieth year; with women,
about the seventeen.
| In fifty of the largest cities Of the
United States a5i daily newspapers are
published. of which 2O4 are in the morn
| Ing and 24T in the evening. Evening
| newspapers are increasing more rapidly
than morning papers. out of twenty six
| of the largest cities In the United States.
| tfteen show an excess of morning publ
| cations and three have the same number
| In each class In 1870 there were $50
| morning papers and 1.05l evening papers
| IN 1900. there were $50 morning papers. an
| increase of ga per cent. aud ,G3l evening
| papers. an increase of 552 per cent. This
| difference is the more striking when 1t Is
| recalled that the increase In all daily
| publications was aS.3 per cent.
| In the year Just closed. the 500 canals
| were open to navigation seven months
| The traffic that passed through was
| three times that of the SueZ canal. In
| value. the freight carried reached a total
| of S3OO, 10000 and the cost of transporta-
| tion was s3l,00O0 900. The year closed with
| a total of 2S,OOOOO0 tons. against 25,0O0.OO0
| in 1900. Last years business at the 500
| canals was double that of 1894 and equal
to that Of the first twenty-eight years
| after the first canal, with limited depth
| was opened. Freights on the lakes are
| the cheapest in the world for water
| borne commerce. Bulk freights in and
out of Lake Superior averaged less than
one mill per ton per mile; coal. upbound.
was carried at less than one-third of a
mill per mile. Iron ore and wheat
brought so cents u ton for an average of
| 800 miles. During the season, one steel
| ship carried 151,GOO tons of freight, and
| travelled 336OO miles. Another ship. with
| barges. carried $1,000 tons of freight on
one trip. moving at over seven miles an
| hour. About $1,000 passengers travelled
between the upper and lower lakes.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
TRUE EVERYWHERE.
From the Worlds Work.

In ii factory where l.5O0 men work their
labor union made an unreasonable de-
mand of the owner The next day a
number of old men went to him and
said: I'VE are sorry that the union did
this, and we want YOU to know that we
were not at the meeting
The owner replied: ''rhen you are to
blame for it. You belong to the union
properly; and it is your duty to attend
its meetings. If all the best men had at
tended the meeting, the action of the
union would have been wiser. ANY de-
mand that all the men in the shop make
after careful deliberation is likely to be
a reasonable demand"
Then he went on: Labor unions some-
times have bad government for the same
reason that cities have 1.-THE best men
do not vote. TO be of use the union
should comprise the best men, and they
should attend its meetings and direct its
conduct"
Such an incident as this tells its own
story and carries its own moral The
more you think of 1t, the wiser the
owners conduct seems. He has never had
q strike.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
Bow Who Knew Chauncev

Perhaps the fact that telling tibs Is
alluded to in many families as "story-
telling may account for the subjoined
incident:
1t is told of Chauncey Depew that he
proved of considerable interest to the
small boy of a family on which he once
made a call. After dinner he and the
head of the house We're closeted together
for two hours or longer When Depew
had departed the boy inquired the iden-
tity of the important looking visitor.
THAT. my son. is Chauncey Depew. the
greatest story teller in America" ex-
planned the father.
The business that had kept Depew and
the father closeted together for so long
brought the former back in a few days.
The boy was playing near the house as
Depew approached. and, running up to
the visitor. exclaimed:
'l'll go tell pop you're coming | know
who YOU are-Mr. Depew. the greatest
liar in America. Chicago Chronicle.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

v II SEEMS an interesting fact that
in order to arrange for the car
l. riage of small parcels to persons
living in this country the British
post office had to enter into u contract
with II private company of carriers, the
American Express company. Yet this
has been done. The Britsher wishing
to have u parcel delivered within New
York city, Jesey City. Brooklyn or Ho-
boken can have that wish gratified at
the cost of % cents. If the weight be
less than pounds. or IL it be more
than three and less than seven pounds,
the fee becomes so cents, an eleven
pound limit calling for 75-cent charge.
Delivery to places in this country other
than those just named is made for a
slightly larger charge, ranging from so
cents to 81. But the United states
postal authorities have nothing to do
with tire American end Of the trans
action. 1t is wholly in the hands Of a
private express company.
Possibly for this reason there is u
charge of % cents for the clearance of
other charge of the same amount levied
by our government as sample office
or storage" fee; all of which, of course,
are in addition to the ordinary duties,
if the contents of the parcel be dutiable.
The effect of these various charges will
be, naturally, to limit the availability of
the new arrangement among persons of
moderate means, though the proportion
of the charges kept by the actual ear
rers is very reasonable. There would
seem. therefore, to be room for the
suggestion that our postal establish
ment take into consideration whether
there is not some better way of eX-
pediting parcel delivery between the
two countries. This is not, to be sure,
the most urgently needed postal de-
velopment. but it is one which the
United States government ought not to
leave to the enterprise of a private car
rer
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
THE BUGS.

See the many many bugs
Huggy bugs
How they hutter through the twilight,
causing us excited shruss!
How they rustic, rustic rustic,
In the dreamy air of night;
l'lipping, Tapping on the highway,
Blooming, buzzing on the byway,
Under each electric light.
How they dip, dip dip.
How they zip. zip zip
Till they whisk about our whiskers and
go mugging mt our mugs
Oh, the bugs, bugs, bugs.
oh, the bugs, bugs. bugs, hugs, bugs,
bugs, bugs!
oh, the night is two shades darker from
the bugs.
All sorts and kinds of bugs.
Fuzzy bugs
Bugs that humbly beg your pardon; bugs
that proudly throw on lugs!
How they fiutter, hutter, tlutter,
Till some lady gives Shrek
Till she clutches at her bonnet
Shouting that bugs upon it,
For she felt ii climb her cheek
How they wing, wing wing.
How they sing, sing, sing,
The mosquitoes and the beetles and each
buzZy, buggy thing.
oh. the bugs, bugs, bugs.
oh, the bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs
bugs, bugs.
There's a million miles of breeze contain
ing bugs
There are June and lady bugs!
Whiskered bugs,
There are bats and neas and loeusts
there are moths in search of rugs.
Bugs that hurtle like a missile.
Bugs that roar and bugs that whistle;
Bugs in many colors tinted:
Bed-0et that one be but hinted),
Bugs with faces like a pug.
And they hold a big convention under
each electric light
Oh, the bugs. bugs. buGs
Oh, the bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs,
bugs, bugs,
Nhat a buzzy, buggy, humping bunch OF
bugs.
Baltimore American
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
The German War Bogey Again.

~IN YEARS from this time the
- German empire will have at
it's command 3S battleshps,
Il almored cruisers and rs
other cruisers-a naval force in the
most advanced state of mechanical
efficiency. 1t will constitute sea
| power larger than that Of any other
country except England and, compar-
ing Germany's length of exposed sea
front with IIngland's, larger than the
power which Great Britain could mass
at any point or in any ocean. No clear
reason has ever been advanced in eX-
plana ion of the building of SO large a
navy by country with so small a lit
toral and so meagre colonial inter-
est. 1t is true that Germany's mer-
chant marine is large and growing;
and that Germanys foreign trade
seems to have IA fiattering future. But
none of these facts nor all of them in
combination suttices to account for so
large naval force or for the extreme
eagerness with which 1t has been
pushed to completion.
1t IL Il curious fact that among
American naval officers the theory has
by no means been aba andoned, In spite
OF the marked efforts of the German
emperor To cultivate close relations
with the United States, that the real
objective in this colossal programme Of
naval construction Is to override the
Monroe doctrine by enforcing German
colonial ambitions in South America.
Those who hold this view make the
plausible argument that the emperor's
policy includes lulling the Americans
into inactivity while his warships are
being got ready, so that when he shall
make the move in South America,
which they think he has for some years
heen aching to make, we shall have no
alternative but to acquiesce in it.
thanks to his superior force. 1t is un-
doubtedly true, as they contend that
the Monroe doctrine is as dead as
door nail if the balance of fighting
power Is ON the other side.
But would that be true in the sup
posed situa ton? Is not our navy, with
the additions that will accrue in the in
,ervenng time, adequate To cope with
even the admittedly fine navy that
Germany viii then have" We may be
sure that nobody wants to see the
question brought to test yet the
naval traditions are in our favor. No
doubt we need more ships, whether we
are to have tussle with William or
not. And no doubt thai is one of the
considerations i'm the minds of the gem
tlemen who from time to time hold up
the Monroe doctrine bo-
gey. II our fellow-citizens We're not
unduly sensitive on the subject it
might be worth while To ask why a
well-ordered colony of Germans in
South or Central America would not in
all respects be preferable TO the mon
grel governments and lazy methods
customary among the present bene-
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
Trials of shah's Court Poet.

The fate of the court poet laureate IN
the time of the present shah's father was
not to be envied, On one occasion the
shah read to him one of his own poems
and asked for his opinion: Even If |
deserve your majesty's anger" said the
candid poet. Il must say that ii Is any
thing but poetry" The shah, feeling in
suited cried ont to those who waited on
him: Take this donkey to the stable"
After a little while, becoming calmer, he
tried the poet once more, this time with
fresh set of verses. when he had fin
ished reading, the poet started To go
away. Where are you geing?" asked
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27


publican party there have
been nine Republican and
seven Democratic governors of
New York. but not since 1866 has Re-
: publican governor succeeded in winning
a second consecutive term. Each party
; has had control of the executive Office
. for total period of 90 years. and on
each side the maiorties have ranged
from mere baGateile to nearly n
quarter of a million in the case of
: Frank Black
No state in the union is more inde-
pendent Of party lines than New York
!, in the election of its governors. The
Z, qualities which have been most FORUM
ate in winning strength among the vot-
I, ers of the Empire state are. first of all.
the ability to show results in economy
secondarily, personal independence. and
! lastly general ability. We know of no
state in the union so much welded to
, economy as New York. The fact that
i, Ben Odell has reduced the tax rate is
the one fact that the average voter in
, the rural district considers in cOnnec-
tluil Will tue SoNtIIlOTSllp. InlS pas
sion for economy does not seem to oh
tain in city affairs and it is seldom so
pronounced in county circles. even in
the rural counties; but the governor
who wants to win votes for recollection
must trim the taxes
Fortunately Governor Odell has scored
notable success in this direction
without causing decline in admnis-
. trative efficiency. Respect for his
ability as an executive is not confined
among those who measure it solely in
dollars and cents. He has shown a
. broad-minded comprehension of state
!. needs and ii judicious grasp of the
1 means necessary to supply them which
4 have stamped him as one of the most
! successful governors the state has ever
{. had. Moreover he has been politically
! efficient and successful He is the real
III not the recognized boss of his party,
T. an honor he wears modestly and dis
4 creetly. He is personally ii clean
h limbed and clean handed good fellow.
/, whose word is as substantial as a
4 bank note, and it therefore is not singu-
\ lar that he should be IA prime favorite
among the people. We have little
r doubt Of his reelection.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

4. Hay made to the SignatOry
Il powers TO the treaty OF Ber-
lin to alleviate the position of
the ROumanian Jews Is not. it appears
, from our London dispatches. likely to
sWfensesrheir philanthropic enthusiasm
The majority of the signatories have
7furesfip- ru- be ar att reminded OF that
document 1t is very inconvenent in
a1t era tioG territorial ,bidansering to
have their attention drawn to the in
,'hufiahy ontrages of Their Slavonic pro-
tcges. sAlfrhe REPRESENTATIVES who drew
NlpIand signed the Berlin, treaty have
epsssse away except i!ord Salisbury. All
the sovereigns whom they represented
are dead except the emperor OF Austria
'-aird Abaui Humid. Treaties which de-
pend for then, performance upon a con.
s.cert of European powers retain no
svitality beyondithe incidents OF the oc-
fcasion ,SHch drew them forth; psten-
fsibly rtfesA weary OF Berlins was an In
Tsuumeat which .secnred to the people
Fof Central Europe protection from the
satrociOus misgovernment of Turkey. 1t
.created kingdoms to secure religious
liberty or+the ssmhlahcsoEit, This was
.kthe ayowed object. The real design OF
alhs agpfsya9 TO peypetuase. the rule
softhe"rhk; 10 avert an European war,
*a9d to save Russia the humiliation of
sbeing forced to part with her legitimate
sonquests.
Russia has, neither forgotten nor for
= nLtnaithes-fieatyi Of Berlin. Bismark
+aoodWinked England at the Berlin con-
*,erf. He foresaw, that in misunderstanding
2 Turkey, Russia sooner or later woiild
y possess all that was ceded TO her by
= he treaty. of aArdinoplea eashieh the Ber+
= in treaty superceded. Ensland Was
! latlshed; she brought AS she supposed
zA . 4 . = y . Z = Z z 3 q 3 4 q y y
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
Stretching the Rope and Locating {
Tree

A newly appointed Georgia justice of
the peace was informed that some one
had stolen his horse during the right.
lie was not long in locating the crimi-
nal. who was speedily brought to trial.
when the justice said: II amt qualified
ter set on this case. seem as the horse
was mine: but I'm goin to let the bailif
preside. an while he's a-tryin' of the
criminal. I'll be out yander a-strelchin'
of the rope an locatn' of the tree. At
lanta Constitution.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

In selecting the county fairs az cam
paignng grounds the leaders of the
Pattison uprising" have displayed
rather poor judgment. 1t Is difficult to
effectually impress the calamity the
cries upon the average farmer, who
has just harvested the most bountiful
crops in years.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
Published Too Late.

A dappei young staiioner III II certain
small Scottish town had long wOoed the
beautiful daughter of Il prosperous farm
| er In the vicinity, and albeit receiving lit
tie or no encouragement from the young
lady. still. having 'guid conceit o him
sell" as they say In the north, considered
himself ns holding the first place in her
affections.
This state of things went on for some
time until the farmer engaged a stalwart,
handsome young lrishman as his farm
manager who IN ~ very short time be-
| came high in favor with the daughter,
and in n few months their engagement
was announced.
A short time afterwards a the intended
bridegroom walked into the stationer $
| shop one day and asked to see some
| hooks suitable for presents. That gentle
man thought he saw an opportunity of
| taking Il fan out of his successful
rival. so winking to some other custom
| ers who were standing by, he took Il vol
| tune from 81 ncighbOring shelf, and eX-
claimed:
Here's a newly published volume
which should Just suit you. It's entitled
How to Rear Pigs Successfully"
| The young fiibernian glanced at the
book. and then. with a whitening glance
of contempt at the other .he remarked,
coolly:
Newly published. YOU say? Man
| alive! isn't it a mortal pity your mother
| never got Il chance of reading that
book p
And with that lie turned on his heel
and left the shop.--I.ondon Tit-Bits
Brother Dickey's Yankee Folks.
II don't quite on'erstan dem Yankee
| folks" said Brother DickeN
"Why. they've done a great deal for
your race
Yes. sub. ell dats des whar de trout
BILE comes m Dey gives dollar after dol
| lar ter eddicate de Niger, on wen de
| nigger done pull thoo college he go ter
'um en- lif he hat on say:
'Mawnin', sub! Hits fine mawnn' ,
suh'
Yes. de Yankee tell i'm, Tit is n
| VERY fin mawnin': but what is it you
wants wild de mawnin' on me?'
81 dcs drap in ter say dat ] done got
my eddiCation, suh.'
well. what de devil is l got ter do
wild dat"'
"'Well. suh.' speak up de Niger, hit
WIZ you dat gimme de eddiCation, en-
now ] wants you ter tell me what ;er do
with it,
"En what you reckon he say in an
swer ter dat? He open he eye wide e-la k
dis--en den he say, wild a flir-'way look
in he eye:
Cd eff | know! + amt got no Job
fer YOU You better go back whar YOU
come f'um en- settle down. Sides dat,
dis is my busy day. John. show dis cul-
ld gentleman whar de do at! wish you
good luck. sub. Good mawnin'.'- .'-Atlan-
Ia Constitution.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
Rules of the Contest

cent. of all money he or she turns in.
All subscriptions must be paid in
advance.
Only new subscribers will be counted.
Renewals by persons whose names
are already on our subscription list
Will not be credited. The Tribune will
Investigate, each subscription and II
found irregular in any way reserves
the right to reject it.
No transfers can be made after
credit hasfonce been given.
All subscriptions and the cash to pay
for them must be handed in at The
Tribune office within the week in
which they are secured, so that pa
pers can be sent to the subscribers at
once.
Subscriptions must be written on
blanks, which can be secured at The
Tribune office, or will be sent by
mail.
NOTICE THAT ACCORDING TO,
THE ABOVE RULES, EVERY CON-
'TESTANT WILL BE PAID.
WHETHER THEY SECURE A SPE-
CIAL REWARD OR NOT.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

ant I,nglishman has told
Il part of the story In his
complaint that America has invaded
Europe. He complains that the Eng
lshman who a few years ago supplied
the world. today sits down to his brehk-
fast made of cereals manufactured IN
Michigan, beefsteak from Chicago.
slice of bacon from New York, ana
bread made from Minneapolis flour ON
the way to his office he rides In car
built in New York, propelled by elec-
trical machinery made in Schenectady.
over a railway constructed by Amerl-
can engineers. largely of American ma
terial and projected by American capl-
talists. When he enters his Office, If he
Is up to date, he sits In revolving
chair made in Chicago. before roll
top desk made in Buffalo: his letters
are written on u typewriter made at
llion, n. v, he signs them with an
American fountain pen. dries the ink
with New England blotter and files
his letter copies i'm files manufactured
at Grand Rapids. If he goes to the
races for pleasure he sees the highest
stakes won by an American morse
ridden by an American jockey. And
when he reads his evening paper he
finds that European nations are having
battleships built in American shipyards,
learns that an American artist is to
paint the coronation of King Edward
and that 10000 gold. silver and bronze
medals ordered by the king to COM
memorate that coronation We're made
in asSachusetts; that the emperor of
Germany had his royal yacht built in
New York and sent Prince Henry across
the Atlantic to attend the launching
when the daughter of the American
president should christen 1t. These are
some of the changes of which the Eng
lishman complained and they are large
ly due to the policy of protection to
American labor which developed Ameri-
can industry and enterprise until 1t In
vaded the old world and made the Brit
aims fear that some American would
come along and annex the British Isles
as a museum of antiquity when free
trade ruled the world. The Democrats
would, however. stop the wheels of
progress and again change the current
of business from England to the United
States. instead of allowing it to con-
tinue from the United States to Eng
land Continental Europe and all the
world.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

The special rewards will he given to
the person securing the largest num-
ber of points
Points will be credited to contestants
securing new subscribers to The
Scranton Tribune as follows:
One months subscription......s. 30 ]
Three months subscription. l.2j f."
Six months subscription....... 80 g
One years subscription ........ 800 II
The contestant with the highest
number of points will be given
choice from the list of special rewards:
the contestant with the second high
est number of points will be given
a choice of the remaining rewards.
and so on through the list.
The contestant who secures the
highest number of points during any
calendar months of the contest will
receive a special honor reward, this
reward being entirely Independent of
the ultimate disposition of the schol-
arships.
Each contestant failing to secure
special reward will be given 10 per
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

flciaries--and, by the way, the ungrate-
full beneficiaries-of our dogma of
"hands OFF," But to ask such ques-
tion In the circumstances would be
considered unpatriotic.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

1t is relief to know that at least no
one has suggested arbitration as a
means of settling the war between the
base ball leagues.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

The singular part of Robert Emory
PattisOn's career AS a refOrmer is that
it has always been in the subjunctive
mood.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27

After the king of Belgiums treat
ment of his daughter, we think he had
better abandon his contemplated
American visit. He might get a frost
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
Chestnut Hill Academy
Wissahickon Heights
Chestnut Hill. Pa.

A boarding school for boys
in the elevated and beautiful
open country north Of Phil
adelphia, 80 minutes from
Broad st. station. Cata-
logues on application.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-09-27
County.
Legislative,

1t is to be regretted that Mr.. Eckels'
criticisms were not accompanied by Il
few more suggestions.