Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-12-31
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who had been up all night with his
own.
Wont you try the chicken salad,
judge" said the boarding house keep
err. II tried 1t yesterday, ma am" re-
piled the witty judge, land the chicken
proved an alibi. "-Philadelphia Record.
First Decorator-I advised him to
have his house decorated during his
wife's absence as surprise. Second
Decorator-Good! Then we'll have to
do it all over again when she gets
back.
Eyes, higgins is going to send his
daughter across the water for her
voice." Thinks it will be cultivated in
Europe?" mo; he's got an idea that
maybe she'll lose it on the way."-Bal.
timore News.
II see by the newspapers" remark
ed Reeder, that the miners in the
Rand are sending out appeals for
wives" rs that so?' calculated Hen.
nypeck, in an eager whisper. "rhcy
can have mine.'
He-Oh, pray, Miss Dalrimple, don't
call me Mr.. Brookes. She-Oh, but
our acquaintance has been so brief.
(Sweetly) Why shouldn't call you Mr..
Brookes? He-Oh, only because my
names Somerset!
First Chappie-I wonder now, Chol.
lie, how the donkey ever came to be
used us the-eer, emblem Of stupidity?
Second Chappie with yawn)-Don't
know, I'm sure, deah boy; must have
been before our day.
Young Man dining ut his club
Don't you think, james, that these
lonely dinners ut the club drive num-
Der of men to matrimony? Waiter
Maybe, sir; but not SO many rs mat
rimony drives to the club!
Just fancy, Weginald; I've forgot
ten ma cahrd case" "Nevah mind,
deah boy; I'll lend you some of NINE"
"But-ah-the name would be differ.
ent, you know" Bah .Jove, so 1t
would! What head you have, Algyw
John" whispered Mrs Stub, in tile
wee hours, there is burglar down
stairs, and l want you to go down."
"Well, guess not" responded her hus.
band, turning over for another nap;
I'D have you know that don't asso-
ciate with burglars"
Mrs. Housekeep-I don't know much
about the new girl, but she's good.
natured and harmless, at any rate.
Mr.. Housekeep-How did you find that
out? Mrs. Housekeep-I notice that
she sings at her work. Mr.. Housekeep
That's no proof; a mosquito does
that.
Cholly-I nevah see such a queer
girl. While was calling there the
othah evening she made me pet her
pug dog and asked me If 1 didn't want
to kiss the beast. Miss Pepprey-The
| idea! Perhaps she doesn't know that
you smoke Philadelphia
Press.
Mrs. Bizzy-I am SO sorry to hear
that your wife has been throwing the
crockery Mt you again, Casey. Where
did she hit you? Casey-.Faith Masam!
That's what OF do be afther conplain-
in av. Twas whole set av dishes
broke to pieces an she niver hit me
wanst.-Brooklyn Life.
Now" said the Sunday school
teacher, in her most winning tones,
(which little boy can tell us about the
still small voice that is within 49,
'.Pleasem,v said the freckled boy at
the end of the seat, " uncle has
one HAS hes. Yes He's a
ventriloquist. Baltimore \ erican.
Cholly proudly)- BY Jove!A u quite
a professor Of swirl ming, don't you
know. l taught Mabel Galley how to
swim III two lessons. Jack-Gad! That
was quick throwdown. Cholly dn.
dignantly)-What do you mean? Jack
Why, she let me give her ten lessons
before she learned.-Rrooklyn Life.
Towne-AIy wife used to get nervous
every time she heard noise down
stairs, but assured her that it could
not be burglars, because they're al.
ways careful not to make any noise.
Browne-So that Gained her Ell?
Towne-Not much. Now she gets ner-
vous every time she doesn't hear any
noise.
He-I never saw anything like this
tide. Here I've been pulling steadily
for ten minutes, and we don't seem
to have moved foot She after
pause)-Oh, Mr.. stroker, I've just
thought of something, Ytss dnehor fell
overheard "a short time ago and Aae-
got to tell you. Do you suppose 1t
could have caught on something?
"Say, pa" began little Willie again,
.why-" Now, see here" his pa
interrupted, II told you wouldn't ar
swer any more questions. Let this be
the last now. What is it," Il just
wanted to know, pa, why you don't
answer my questions. Is 1t cause
you're ignorant. or jest cause yer In
digestion's come n?"-Philadelphia
Press.
What We're you doing at the time
of your arrest?" asked the magistrate
Of the prisoner. II was. waiting"
Waiting for whom ~: ~ s.sJust waiting"
What were you waiting for?' ITO
get my money" "Who from?" '.rhe
man was waiting for" What did he
give it to you fort" For waiting" Il
don't know what you mean. Explain
yourself" 81 thought you knew was
waiter in restaurant" "Ohw gasp
ed the Observation-Disclosures Herald.
No Footprints.
Don't you want to leave footprints
on the sands of timer asked the earn
est man.
"Tootprints?" echoed Senator sor.
ghum. mo. don't care to so through
life on foot. want to ride" WASH
ington Star. 20 = s
From Boston, Perhaps.
Don't you think she has very dis.
tinguc air?"
YES" said the sad-looking young
man. Judging from the chill she