The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-06

'em that James Watkins can't be
ground into the earth as easy as they
think for I'll bring law suit for
damages tomorrow, and I'll make
that woman think that cyclones and
earthquakes and tornadoes are after
her |"
Moses the widow was saying to
her hired man at about the same hour,
"Tm the humblest, peacefulest wo-
man in Huckleberry county, and you
know it, but I can't stand every
thing. I've been sassed and threat
ened by that man Watkins, and I'll
show him that he can't wipe his boots
on my apron. If he'd have come
here as a neighbor should, I'd have
put poke on the COW, and I'd have
apologized for the hog, but now I'll
never do it, Moses-never never !!
never %
Whenever farmer is ready to sue
his neighbor he can always find a
lawyer willing to tell him that he has
a good case. Uncle Jim had no trou-
BILE on that score, and a suit was
promptly begun. He had hardly got
back home to tell Hannah about it
when that one-horned COW decided to
pay him another visit. She was tired
of cornstalks, however, and she took
cabbages for change. The golden
sun of summers morning came up
to gild the remains of what had been
so plump cabbage heads when the
whippoorwill sang the night before,
and Uncle Jim jumped up and down
on his old straw hat and was so near
the exploding point that he couldn't
get out word. The cow hadn't
taken herself off as a conscientious
COW should after the act Of devasta-
ton, but fingered around to hear
opinions Of her conduct. She got
them whacked into her with pieces of
broken fence rails, but though he did
his very best, and no man can do
more, Uncle Jim couldn't knock that
other horn off. She carried home
bumps and Jumps and whacks and
bruises, but she also carried her horn.
There was another law suit which
the widow proposed to defend as
promptly and vigorously as the first,
and, while the law was trying to deal
out justice to cows and corn6elds, 9TH
er incidents occurred. One of Uncle
Jim's oxen trespassed on one of the
widows fields, and she sued the OWL
er. Then six Of her hogs rooted up
six bushels of potatoes, more or less,
for Uncle Jim, aud he gave his lawyer
third retainer. The suit was still
a thing of the future when two of his
calves got into the widows garden
and ate up all her gooseberries, and
she rode to town and asked the aid of
the law. The law wasn't sure wheth-
er calves fed on gooseberries or onions,
but she found lawyer willing to
make test. At this stage of the
game there had been enough law
suits started to last reasonable per-
son year or two, but that old one
horned cow had further business on
hand. She went for a moonlight
walk one night and fetched up among
Uncle Jim's squashes to mediate.
AS she reflected on the dim past she
bit hunks out of the Hubbards, and
the next morning the farm was al
most squashless. She saved her horn
again, and her doings alomst threw
Uncle Jim into an epileptic fit, and,
of course, his lawyer advised him to
sue for damages. The summons had
scarcely been served on the widow
when the same COW decided on max
ing a farewell tour of that portion of
Huckleberry county known as the
Watkins farm. She started early and
she stayed late, and jumped every
fence and visited every corn6eld, and
success crowned her efforts in every
direction, even to tearing the pump
out of the family we'll and chewed the
bed quilts left on the grass after wash
ing. Uncle Jim started out with a
shotgun to drop that COW dead in her
tracks, but the gun wouldn't go off.
Then he changed it for sled-stake
and did some of the fastest running
of his life, but the COW kept ahead.
Then he sat down and cussed and
cried in turns, but he couldn't do JUS
tice to his feelings. Even when he
figured on bringing law suit for
$500 damages and asking the court
to send that COW to an insane asylum
he didn't feel sure it was revenge
enough. To his sisters surprise, he
threw down his club and left the one
horned cow to jump the fence where
she pleased, and he had been sitting
under the old Bartlett pear tree for
two long hours, when she went out to
him and asked:
"Jim, have you broke blood vessel
or anything?"
"Noap," he briefly replied.
"Ain't you going to start another
law suit?"
Dunno"
She left him there for another hour,
wondering if he meditated murder
and how many lives he would de-
mand, and then he came in on his
own accord, and passed up to his
room. When he came down, half an
hour later, he was dressed in his Sun
day clothes.
''Jim, are you going to town 10 see
the lawyers?" she asked with sud-
den pallor.
"Drat the lawyers p he replied.
"Then, where are you going?"
"To see the Widow Hooper"
"Don't do it, Jim You'll surely
be hung if you do p
"I'll be hanged if I don't p' he
muttered as he walked off.
The Widow Hooper was getting
dinner ready when some one walked
in at the open kitchen door and sat
| down. She had been sticking a fork