Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-10-11
JOBSON AND THE GAR

Mr.. Jobson had one of his benevolent
streaks on last Sunday.
Look a-here" said he, beaming upon
Mrs. Jobson, right after the Sunday dinner,
you need a rest, do you know that?'
Mrs. Jobson made some deprecatory little
remark, but Mr.. Jobson wouldn't hear her
He'd got away with pretty husky dinner
and he was in a benign humor.
None O that self-depreciation now, my
dear said he. You need rest. and
that's all there is about it. 1 guess I'm
able to tell by this time whether you're in
need of rest or not You're kind @ drawn
and frazzled out with looking after the
house and all that sort O. thing and can
see it. So here's what: You're going to
have week off. Wen just do this G. A. R.
thing up right, that's what we will. and
take the whole week for it. We can't do
1t right if you're to hang over the stove fix
ing up meals all the time. or trying to bull
doze or persuade the girl to rig us up some
thing to eat. either. So Wen just come
pretty nigh cutting the whole meal-getting
business out of the program for the whole
week, that's what We'll do"
But mildly demurred Mrs Jobson,
what are we going to do for meals?'
"Oh. guess We'll do all right" airily re-
sponded Mr.. Jobson. This thing O. being
chained down to one little plant for meals
is all right in it's way for ordinary times,
but on occasions of festivity, like the doings
of the G. A. r. week, ii won't do for a
minute, and 1t isn't necessary besides We'd
be a mellow pair of idiots now, wouldn't
we, a-running home here right in the mid
die of the fun down town to get together
dinner with lot O fuss and feathers and
trouble, when it's so easy to drop into any
old desirable place, just where We happened
to be, and get whatever we want to eat"
Mrs. Jobson tried to enthuse over the bully
scheme, just to please Mr.. JobSon, but she
tIv,S% II So ~,
come pretty well acquainted with Mr.. job
son during their married life. But she
agreed to Mr.. Jobson's proposition. and so
1t was all arranged and charted out before
they went to bed on Sunday night.
On Monday morning. Mr.. JobsOn was up
pretty early. and he threw open the shut
tiers and gazed out at the mellow October
sunshine eagerly.
by gravy, the airs like cocktail this
morning. he exclaimed. Makes a fellow
nungrier'n wolf-whatchoo got for breaf-
fast?"
WELL said Mrs. Jobson, IT can send
the girl. when she comes, for anything you
want, but 1 thought we were going to have
simply coffee and roll, and then. when We
got down town."
Sure enough you're right" calculated
Mr.. Jobson. his amiability not to be shaken
yet. Forgot all about that swell scheme
Of ours. But say. my dear. suppose we get
kind of move on and have that coffee and
the roll. anyhow, Ell? 1 could do many and
sundry things to a platter Of ham and eggs
right now, but We'll just stick to the sched
ule, and get out for the regular schedule
breakfast as soon as possible"
They had the coffee and rolls, of which
Mr.. Jobson partook with rather blank ex-
preston. and he wasn't quite so communi-
cative and pleasant as he had been as they
made their way down town car about
10 o'clock. Mr.. Jobson thrust Mrs. Jobson
into one of the first restaurants they came
to after getting off the car, but the place
NonIYp n rHvtth tror hoy n NJ
to another restaurant, and this establish
ment too was crowded. BY tipping the
head waiter a half dollar Mr.. Jobson
finally managed to get couple of seats
way back close to the walters path to the
kitchen. The ham and eggs that they got
didn't appear to make any vast hit with
Mr.. Jobson. The ham had apparently been
boiled a day or so before and the boiled
slices had been thrust into the frying PAN
Mr.. Jobson made a gallant attempt to
take it all cheerfully, however, but there
was a sort Of far-away look in his eyes,
after they'd taken in the shows on the ave-
nue., long before o'clock
Come along" said Mr.. Jobson, clutching
Mrs Jobson by the arm, land We'll get
meal somewhere could eat prairie dog
stuffed with firecrackers."
1t wasn't long before Mrs. Jobson's fears
were realized The foOlishness of resident
of a gala city putting himself on a foraging
par with the visiting strangers when there
was no necessity for doing so soon became
apparent. The restaurants were crowded
to their utmost capacity. Mr.. Jobson
dragged Mrs. Jobson along ten squares Of
Pennsylvania avenue and then patrolled F
street almost from one end to the other,
and yet they couldn't much more than get
beyond the doors of the restaurants. Mr..
Jobson was becoming pretty savage. At
length he all but lifted Mrs Jobson on to a
car bound toward their home. There was
wolfish glare in Mr. Jobson's eyes as he
stepped off at the corner nearest his home,
{.,t4 c,fn hat mos
about to close. he bought four cans of sar-
dines two cans of salmon, two pounds of
cheese, three loaves of rye bread and lot
Of other quick-lunch supplies, and, carrying
them home almost at a run, spread them
out and went at them like a famished
hyena.
On the following morning Mr.. Jobson
slipped out of bed at half-past s. and he
was out of the house before Mrs. Jobson
awoke. He was back home a bit before
o'clock. with big market basket on each
arm. He had spent the morning at the p
street market, and he had enough food
stuffed away in bis two big market baskets
to yictual platoon of hired men.
Are you ready for your coffee and rolls?"
inquired Mrs. Jobson, meeting him in the
basement hall as he clomped in.
mo- madam 1 am not ready for my coffee
and rolls" replied Mr. Jobson, but I'll tell
YOU what am ready for, and you want to
be ready to cook 'em for me, too! l am
ready for about four o these pork chops,
Dreaded, and a double omelet, and about
fourteen hot biscuits, and whatever else you
NAV find in these baskets that's fit for
breakfast consumption, and the quicker 1t 8
all on the table the better it's going to be
for all hands. Furthermore, far from budg
ing out O. this house for the entire day, L m
going to stay right here in the basement
until after dark, doing not a thing but eat
ing-just eating! And the next time you
frame up a transparent dodge to get rid Of
doing the miserable little amount of house
rad to rfn for
your husband there's going to, be an old
Fashioned auction sale around here, and
that's what!
Bad Spelling.
From the New York Sun.