The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-04-02
.PLATTS ROSES
GIVEN To SIMON
Did Not Please the Senator From
Oregon.
TOO MUCH LIKE A FUNERAL
FLOWERS WERE NOT THE TRIB-
UTES HE WANTED.
Especial Correspondence

q
been absent from the senate for
a week or so. returned to his labors to-
day. Some admiring friend placed
upon the returning senator's desk this
morning a very handsome bouquet Of
American Beauty roses. Senator Plat.
who is anything but sentimental.
looked disdainfulIy at the flowers. and
with very little hesitation shifted them
to the desk Of Senator Simon. who. Just
at the present time, is summing up
the results of his losing fight for re-
election in Oregon. Senator Mitchell
of that state was heard to remark that
it was mighty considerate to place
such a beautiful bouquet on the desk
OF his politically deceased colleague.
senator Mitchelrs grief at the termina-
ton OF his colleagues brief career in
the senate is not causing him to lose
any sleep, and it is thought he viewed
the accidental floral tribute to Senator
simon with much satisfaction
John Barrett, formerly United States
minister to Siam, viii sail from San
Francisco next week on an interesting
mission. He will visit far eastern
lands, armed with credentials from the
United States government and the
Louisiana Purchase Exposition COM
pany and viii carry letters TO United
states ministers and COnsuls in China.
Korea, Siam, India, Indo-China, Cey-
lon,. Australia and New Zealand. con-
firming the invitations which have been
extended to the governments of these
countries to participate in the ST Louis
exposition In his journey Mr. Barrett
viii travel over $4,000 miles. and while
his mission does not contemplate the
collection Of exhibits. it is believed
that it will result in the various ORR
entail countries taking increased inter
est in the exposition.
Senator Depew thinks he has discov-
cred the fountain of youth in a case of
old brandy which he has christened the
Declaration Of Independence brand.
The senator tells Of his discovery Of
this treasure thus:
Il was in Brussels putting up at a
little out Of the way inn in the suburbs,
and, by way of joke, requested from
mine host some genuine 100-year-old
! brandy. OF course, sir, you shall have
it; over 100 years DID, responded mine
/ host I pride myself on being a con
noisseur in brandies, and so. when
some secOnd-Tate stun not even fifty
years old was placed before me 1 de-
tected the fraud Immediately
I'VE can beat that in America. said
and boast of that kind, you know,
! always arOuses the pride of a foreigner.
All, sir. but I viii show you some
I brandy zey can neyaiTe equal in Amer
lea.
He was gone for some time. and re-
turned with a bottle covered with cob
! webs containing rare vintage bottled
in l11S, just two years after the Dec
laration OF Independence. So nearly
the date, you know. that I am quite
JUSTIFIED in dating it back two years
and calling it Declaration brandy.
Various newspaper men of a specula-
tive disposition are mourning the loss
of sundry sums invested in bar silver
margins. When the finance COMMITTEES
Of the senate proposed te coin Philip
pine silver dollars a number of those
who had advance news of this i1ten-
ton thought they were playing a sure
/ thing by buying bar silver for an adj
vance. Contrary TO all expectation, bar
silver dropped two points in the market
after the announcement was made of
NAA- HANtD1N0 pan u AAEE EOlNaEE IN the
Philippines. Free coinage is now for
ever a dead issue with that portion of
the fraternity who thought they had a
cineh on the market.
An electric bath is the latest luxury
provided for members of congress. The
effect of this new adjunct on a tired
legislator is said to be wonderfully in
MIGRATING. Many members Of con-
gress are constant patrons, and the
static machine is creating for itself an
enviable reputation as a next morn
ing antidote. The electric bathing
machine is thus described: Tt consists
Of ten circular glass plates, thirty
inches in diameter. These plates, which
are placed a little distance apart. re-
vOlve on single shaft through their
! center. On a line with the shaft rows
of double metal combs with the side
Of their feet close to the plates gathers
the electricity as it is generated by the
revolving glass. A positive and a neg
alive pole extend out Of the case, in
which there is quarter horsepower
motor 4 platform, insulated by being
placed on glass legs, stands nearby. on
this platform Is a zinc plate on which
the bathing statesmen stand. over his
/ head Is suspended a round brass crown
which is connected to the positive pole
by a slight brass rod. When the cleo
trical current is turned on, the bather
has q sensation as of a warm breeze
blowing on him. The hath is taken
with all the clothing on, but the breeze
seems to penetrate il as though there
were no obstruction. The breeze soon
changes to warm priekly sensations,
the hair begins 10 CTaCkIe like a bunch
OF Chinese freCraCkeTs. and when the
current is suddenly allowed to descend
from the brass crown there seems TO
7 be a general confagratioE in progress
After the shower and head sprays, if
the statesman IS in a bad way from
the night before. ne takes a chair and
glass bulb, not unlike an electric
light bulb, but with the big end fiat
I IS caTessingly brought in contact with
his face and brow. The current for
this is obtained through a Tesla coil
and produces very little sensation. A
Z polished metal resembling a small
coupling pin is the throat ironer. and
+ a wooden ball about as big as a base
/ ball at the terminus Of a metal pole
/ acts as a mild distributor of electricity
( 10 any desired locality. while a brass
roller irons pains out Of the back OF
/ shoulders simply by rolling il along the
clothing. Il only takes a few minutes
| 10 obtain an electric bath. but the re-
/ summer vacation.
Not That Kind.
atlanta Constitution
In the coming election, Uncle jim.