Evening star., 1902-01-04
THE ENGLISH VERSION

s'When the average Engiishman attempts
to narrate a characteristic American
humorous story he is almost certain tc
make hash Of it." remarked a Wash.
ington clubman who spends good dea
of his time abroad. This fact was in.
stanced in a funny way in the smoking
| room Of the steamer upon which last
returned from England. A middle-aged
Englishman, a civil engineer I believe he
was, was called upon to do his share OF
the entertaining-we were making late
sitting of it-and he started in to tell q
story that he had heard Senator Chauncey
Depew narrate at dinner in London
Now, I had heard Mr.. Depew tell thai
story, too. and it went about this way:
"A New York lawyer named Strange
of sickness. He knew that his end was
near, and so he called his wife to his bed
side to give her a few final directions.
Little woman. he said to her, I know
that 1 am going to die, and 1 am ready to
go. But 1 could not die in peace If
thought there was going to be a lot of fuss
and feathers made over me after my death
1 don't, as you know, believe in ostentatioI
as applied to the dead. Now, / don't even
want my name carved on my headstone
1 wish you'd just have modest headstone
erected over my grave, with these words
carved on it: Here lies an honest law
YER
1.-The dying lawyers wife demurred at
this.
".How, she asked her husband, will
people visiting the cemetery know from
the inscription on the headstone who lies
in the grave?'
"'Oh, they'll know all right replied the
passing man Of law. with faint smile.
They'll read the inscription, and then
they'll say, That's STRANGE"
Now, Mr.. Depew told this story in Eng
land because he knew how dearly the Eng
lish people love stories that hinge upon a
play on words. The story always tickled
his English listeners immensely.
We'll. this Englishman In the smoking
room Of the steamer started off to ten that
story something in this wise:
Well, y'knaw l heard one of your fell
lows-man named Depew-senator or some
thing-teu a deuced good story, 'pon me
waird, at dinner awhile ago-deuced good,
l declare. 1t appears, y'knaw, that New
York fellow-man of law, y'knaw-barris-
ter, I believe-was dying, y'see. Can't
seem to remember the fellows name. Let
me see what the deuce was the fellow S
name. anyhow? Well, pom me waird.
if I haven't clean forgot his name!
However, no matter. Well, this chap,
y'knaw, was dying. and he was blooming
good natured about it all, ysee, and he
wanted to make his wife feel less shocked
over it all. y'knaw, and so he called her
to his bedside
"'''My dear" says the chap to her,
y'See, 81 don't want to have lot of both
Grafton and kick-up business y'see, after
I'm gone. I don't even want my name
deuced annoying that I can't recall the
chaps name!-"engraved on my headstone.
Just put small stone at the head of my
grave, y'knaw and have carved on it these
words: Here lies an honest lawyer"
"'Well y'knaw. the legal chaps wife
didn't like the idea of this, and she told
him so.
But" she said to him, chow will
folks, y'knaw, that read the inscription
know who rests in the grave beneath the
headstone?"
"'Well y'see this legal chap was a
deuced humorous fellow, y'knaw. and he
was bound to have his final joke, y'see, and
so he answered her:
'"Oh, don't bother about that They'll
read the Inscription on the headstone, and
they'll say to each other, y'knaw: That's s
extraordinary, y'knaw."'"