Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-09-09

| Democratic this fall and that
that veteran statesman Henry
NJ. Teller will be returned to the
senate, which he so greatly adorns and
where he is so useful. The proof Of
all of which is that ex-senator Edward
o. Wolcott is about to shake the dust
of the Centennial State from his shoes
and to locate where his political pros
poets will be brighter. Rats desert a
sinking ship, and Wolcott deserts the
Republican party Of Colorado. Every
body knows that he would stay there
and fight it out with Teller If he
thought he had a ghost of a show.
Teddy on His Ear.
The press dispatches inform us that
President Roosevelt Is on his auricular
appendix because Brothers Babcock
and Overstreet, chairman and secre-
tary Of the Republican congressional
committee, in compiling their cam
paign book left him and his admins
tration out in the cold, when he not
unnaturally thought that he ought to
occupy the center of the stage. On
dit that Teddy, in fit of anger, per-
emptorily ordered those palpitating pa
tr1ots to squelch their publication,
which they could not do, inasmuch as
they had mailed out 10000 copies be-
fore Teddy discovered how scurvily
he had been treated. AS Bah and
Overstreet recently dined with the
president, it may be assumed that they
have agreed to issue a new edition.
But Teddy may possess his soul in
peace, for nobody reads Republican
campaign books.
A Sanguine Prophet.
General David Bremner Henderson,
| speaker Of the house of representa-
tives, has taken up the role of prophet
and has assured the world in an Off
hand sort of way that the country is
going Republican this fall, which is
important If true; but nobody ever ac-
cused General Henderson of being any
kin to Isaiah or any of the rest of the
major prophets. All their nantes fell
on the shoulders of General Charles
Henry Grosvenor, prophet maXimus Of
the Hooking valley, who is very quiet
these days in his vaticination depart
ment. No Democrat need be scared by
General Henderson's prophecy. The
wish is father to the thought. He is
the most cheerful of mortals, the Mark
Tapley Of American politics. He's an
optimist, which it is a rafting good
thing to be. If he had lived at the
time of the flood, when Noah was
building the ark and predicting the de-
struction Of all things by water, David
would have said: Boys, there isn't
going to be much Of shower. Noah
doesn't know what he is talking about.
So eat, drink and be merry" And he
and his cronies would have been
caught out in that forty days and forty
nights of rain, as they are likely to be
caught in the flood this fall. If re-
ports from Iowa are not greatly over
drawn, General Henderson had better
quit wasting his breath and time in
prophecy and get down to work or the
country is likely to lose the services of
those great Republican statesmen
Hepburn, Lacy and Smith.
WhiteIaw's SorrowfuI Homecoming.
AS Mark Antony remarked on cele-
DRAFTED but doleful occasion, "If you
have tears, prepare to shed them now"
Because Whitelaw Reid,
f1unky extraordinary to the corona
ton Of King Edward VII, did not, aft
er all, get to wear his knickerbockers
and other royal finery-that is, in pub
liza thing on which he had set his
heart No doubt he donned them in
private and exhibited his lean and pad
ded calves to his wife, children and do
nestle servants in that magnificent
house in Grosvenor square, the ultra
aristocratic quarter Of London, 1.-The
modern Babylon" which he rented for
that august occasion. But, God be
praised, he was defeated in his mean
ambition to sport them in public, where
the worlds eye could feast on the deg
radiation Of America and where lords |
with pedigrees running back to the
conquest were walking backward and |
making salaams to do honor to Albert
Edward Victim. That's the point on
which all good Americans will congrat-
llate themselves. Whitelaw Reid, the
American aristocrat, did not have an
to cut his un-American
and fantastic tlunky capers before
high hea<en. Whitelaw did not get to |
march in the royal and imperial pro-
cession and make a holy show of him.
self and Of us. His spirit was willing,
even eager, to thus abase himself and |
his country and her institutions, but |
fate spared that degradation, and I'm
Gle Sam was not chained to the char
lot wheels Of the great-grandson of
George III. Yea, Whitelaw, the SON
ln-laW of his father-in-law, was anx-
ous. He spent thousands on his
and other royal GIN
tracks. He quarreled with garter
sing-at-arms, or whatever the chief
of the coronation cere-
monies is called, because he was as
signed to ride back foremost in the
procession while the unspeakable Turk
Ind the head Of the French flunkies, in
ne same carriage, rode face front. He
cared so loud because the funkies of
ne e1ete monarchies Of Europe, Asia
md Africa should outrank our funky
n chief, the son-in-law of his father
n-laW. that finally, to stop his whin-
ng, they assigned him a carriage all
o himself. which. after all. he did not
ct to ride in, poor thing! Hence these
ears.
King Edward was sick, and conse-
uently flunky Whitelaw, with his
and his fnery, did not
ave chance to overawe Cheapside,
'otten row, Piccadilly, Whitechapel
ho bloomsbury square with his rib {
OILS Rewpaws ut,+o ,t 49,. |