The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-08-01
A COOL DEACON.
ny EL1zABErH Ron1NsoN.

ny EIlZABEIH ROBINSON.
Iher' be a greet deal of talk nowadays
abeout GOODNESS in time o danger; but fer
lar up an down GOODNESS, give me old
Deacon Barnwell,' said Solomon Mines, as
he hitched his chair a little nearer the red
hot stove in che grocery store OF his friend
and contemporary, Luther Beals.
Il never heern tell of the deacon's goin'
ter war" observed Luther, leaning over his
counter.
Didn't say he ever went ter war. l jest
said he was cool in time danger" answered
Solomon, rather testify.
Tell us about it. What kind O danger
did the deacon git into if he never fit in the
war; asked one of the loafers.
didn't say he got into danger; said
he was cool in time O danger replied old
Solomon, with a twinkle in his eye
Come on, now; tell us about the dan
ger, whosomever it was nigh on, per-
suaded another loafer, and the old man be-
gan.
As l was a sayin, old Deacon Barnwell
was a dretful cool man in time o. danger,
but faint morn fair ter say the danger
want never his'n. WALL one day he and
his oldest boy was a cuttn' logs; they was
chopin right towards each other, as spry
as could be, when fust thing they knowed,
the old deacon chopped the aige of Peters
hat square off. | tell you Peter was mighty
scarf, for the AK was turrible sharp, an the
old man a master strong hand at swingin'
1T. A miss is as good as a mile; chop on,
my boy, said the old man, as peart as could
be, an as cool as clam
DUN kind O coolness," observed one OF
the loafers
Paying no attention to this comment,
So1ofnop IoI ts'Nhap 1,, H.,
!. out a-hayin' it, an one of his gals fell out
O the cart somehows, an long piece of her
hair ketched onto the cart, an she was
dragged right along by it till the hair pulled
out. She was yellin' well, an when her pa
found out what was the matter an stopped
an got her into the cart again, all he said
when she showed him the lock of hair, erwin
like thunder all the time an her poor head
a-bleedin, was: Huh! Gret cry an little
wool He was just as calm as ever
PITY 'twa'n't his head,' said one of the
listeners.
This here instance want as dangerous
as some things, continued Solomon. But
team was a follerin' close, and the teamster
had ter pull in his bosses sharp ter keep
them from steppin' right on the little gall
Tell about the brook, SOL" suggested
Luther.
Wall, one day in the early spring, the
deacon's two little boys was playin' down
by the brook. The brook was fuller and
wider than common OWN ter the snow melt
in an film it up Somehow the little boys
fell in and come pretty nigh bein' drownded
A boy went runnin' lickerty-spht ter the
haouse, an the hired man got ter the brook
in no time an hauled out the poor little
critters; the old man was a-goin' along in
his usual h.,
there they was all right. Them as is born
ter be hanged, never gets drownded,' he
said, as cool as yer please
"Cold-blooded old vilyun!" exclaimed
one irate hearer, I'D liked ter have warmed
him with good stick"
Didn't he ever act like folks?" asked
some one.
Never that | knows on, answered Solo
mon. Once he come dretful near bein'
warmed up fer good and all. A neighbor
was goln by and he sees the deacons CHM
bley all afre, and the roof had ketched here
an there, an was blaZin pretty smart; the
man rushed in an the deacon was settn
at the table eatin' his dinner. Yer heouse
be all on fire, Deacon yelled the man about
clean outer breath The deacon Jest eyed
him, an says, as cool as a cowcumber
Whose heouse be this: The man was
mad clean through, an he sai:l he would
have run off then an there, a.' let the tar
nal heouse burn leown, but h. felt fer the
deacon wife and family, so lean all the
men he could muster worked ike beavers
an saved the old heouse.'
: Did the deacon thank emf" queried a
listener
Thank EN-? Not the deacon He only
said: Whats everybody's business is no.
body's business very old an tr,e sayin'
aeignbors.''
"Wall, the old deacons dead ar gone;
he was curious sort o critter up tax the
very last. | could tell yer more abeout him.
but | must be agoin' home,' and he rose
. stitlly from his chair.
''What did he die of" asked one curious
yongster.
'Pneumony," answered Solomon, ''and he
wouldn't have no Doctor What's one
mans medicine is t'other mans pizen, he
KEEP a-sayin an a doctor hadn't come next
ter nigh him. His wife doctored him all she
knew how, an she was a good woman, an
a master hand at doctorin.'
Its Gurus, SAID Solomon, meditatively,
as he wound up his throat in a big wooden
scarf, cts Gurus how woman will stick
ter, an stand up fer, the most consumed
fool of man, an the hatefullest an the
meanest; that is, the old-fashioned women
does; | can't tell anything abeout yer new
women. | guess the deacon was what ye'd
call a good man, though he was so kinder
tryin'; has wife never let on but what ha
was perfect as they made EN- The
deacons always SO calm an cool, I've heern
her say many time an oft, with kinder
upliftin' pride in her voice. And after he
died it was The deacon was always so calm
an cool abeout everythin'. Ohio Farmer
A Smart Startling.