davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

Sure you can" said the farmer
"Just 60 out and help yourself to as
many as you want. I've got more Of
them than I want"
Thank you, very much, but hog
will I get themr'
Catch 'em, of course. It's easy
when you know how"
"All right you tell me how and I'll
catch q few"
WELL" said the farmer, first on
you creep UP as near as you can get
TO them"
YES" said Mr.. Gibson.
And then you make the right kind
OF noise to attract them and they
will come to you"
What kind of o niose ought to
make?" asked Mr.. Gibson eagerly
Just make a noise hike a nut" re-
piled the farmer. and of he walked
When Mr.. Gibson tails this story
he says positively that nut does not
make any noise and that farmer who
had lived In the country all his life
without discovering that fact Is too
stupid to live anywhere else.-Neu
York Sun.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
Introducing Major schurtH.

De Wolf Hopper was standing In
front of Weber & Fields. talking to a
fellow professional recently. when a
man disengaged himself from the pass
ing show and approached the comedi-
an. The latter's look spelt absolute
forgetfulness of the newcomers name.
However. Hopper turned to his COM
panion and said:
white, let me introduce-um-m-
why. do you know your name has
slipped me for a moment?'
The man leaned toward him and
whispered:
''Have you forgotten? I made your
shirts"
How careless of met exclaimed
Hopper. white, allow me to intro
duce my old friend, Major Schurtz."-
New York Times.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
Played Piano Twenty-Seven Hours
But Went Mad.

Gustav GARNER. a composer, won
his wager that he could play the piano
ceaselessly for more than twenty-four
hours without repeating the same piece.
He played twenty-seven hours and four
minutes without notes. entirely from
memory, playing lie pieces, ranging
from a concert hall waltz to a Beetho-
ven symphony.
Twice he was fed by an assistant, but
without interrupting the playing.
The performance ended when Gar
nier. who had been raving more and
more for two hours. fell insensible.
The skin had worn from his finger
tips and after he stopped his arms be-
gan TO swell.
At the present time GARNER is still
out of his mind. and the doctors say
his condition is precarious.-Paris Cor
respondence of New York World.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

a vague feeling OF uncertainty as TO
what he was going TO do next a very
staid, old-fashioned footman answered
his knock and inquired his business.
"Can--can / see your mistress?" Da-
vid murmured.
The staid footman became. II possible,
little more reserved. II the gentle
man would send in his card. he would
see II Miss Ruth was disengaged.
David found himself vaguely wonder
ing what Miss Ruths surname might
be. The old Biblical name was a great
favorite of his.
I'm afraid haven't a card" he said.
"will you say that Mr.. Steel would like
to see--er-Mss Ruth for a few min
utes? My business Is exceedingly press
ing"
The stald foctn en- led the way into
the dining room. Evidently this was
no frivolous house. where giddy butter
flies came and went; such gdudy In
sects would have been chilled by the
solemn decorum of the place. David
followed into the dining room in a
dreamy kind of way. but with the feel
ing that comes to us all at times, the
sensation OF having done and seen the
same thing before. -
Nothing had been altered. The same
plain. handsome. expensive furniture
was here, the same mahogany and en-
cravings, the same dull-red walls, with
the same light stain over the fire place.
A dull. prosperous. Observation-Disclosures
place. The electric fittings looked lit
tie different, but that might have been
fancy. 1t was the identical room In
which David had run his quarry to
earth, and he began to feel his spirits
rising. Doubtless he could scheme some
way out OF the difficulty and spare his
phantom friends at the same time.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
The Way to Disinfect Books.

If you have an atomizer. half-flll It
with a 40 per cent solution OF formalde-
hyde. Stand the books upright on the
end. wide open, with the leaves separ-
ated as much as possible, and spray
thoroughly with formaldehyde. II the
binding is very delicate and likely to be
injured by the moisture, procure tight
tin box large enough to hold the book
and a saucer filled with formaldehyde.
Stand the book upright, as described,
and close the box. leaving IL for an
hour at least. 1t is said that one cubic
centimeter of formaldehyde to 300 cubic
centimeters of space viii thoroughly
disinfect any book In fifteen minutes
Ladies Home Journal.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

General Manager, B. & o. 8. w.
r. R.-Dear Sir. Send eompetens
agent to care for Mcieansboro sta
ton. Present agent playing cards In
ONCE; waiting room no fire; passen-
gers Pressing"
AS placid as X nothing was out OF
the ordinary, I handed him a IS BIZ
with the request to take the pay our
Of 1t and ssRd the message at oncA
Before half the words were eountsd
by the autocrat OF a moment ago, ~
was an humble servant of the present
Apologies and explanations by the
score were forthcoming. interminglsa
with pleading, that to send 1t woaaa
involve ruin for his career.
1T was my turn to assume the role
OF dictator; and II ever fire was
kindled In hurry, then was the wss&
With all the dignity due to pnAes
and his suite the freezing family asa
were treated.
Passing through a year after
asked the bus man how the agent 1ss
getting along. The story had evident
ly leaked out In McLeansboro, for ~
said: He got a dressing down sst
winter from an official of the road wac
happened along in disguise. and u
has made man of him | was tAAt
official. q plain travelling man, bas
the bus man was none the wiser
Indianapolis News.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
The Crimson
. 80 >: .,,,. BHnd
By Fred m. Uhite
oHApTER v. ,continued,


81 have not quite finished" Marley
said. quietly. Pressed as to when the
case had been sold. Mr. Walen, without
hesitation. said: Yesterday. for G72
15s. The purchaser was a stranger,
whom Mr.. Walen is prepared to identi-
~. Asked II formal receipt had been
given, Walen said that II had. And
now I come to the gist OF the whole
matter. You saw DIR. Cross hand me
mass of papers. ETC., taken from the
person OF the gentleman who was near
ly killed In your house?"
David nodded. His breath was coming
a little faster. His quick mind had run
on ahead; he saw the gulf looming be-
fore him.
Go on" said he. hoarsely. go on.
You mean to say that"
THAT among the papers found in the
pocket OF the unfortunate stranger was
a receipted bill for the very cigar case
that lies here on the table before you'll"
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
GREAT PEER BUT AN UNHAPPY MAN

Historic Titles and High Position Could
Not Drown Sorrow.
The earl OF Perth and Melfort, who
died at Kew few days ago In his 95th
year, was chief of the Clan Drummond
and therefore the head OF one OF the
Oldest and most historic families in
Great Britain. Lord Perth was Due de
Melfort In France, and altogether he
had six Scotch and three French titles
and was also hereditary thane OF Len
nox and hereditary steward OF Mem
telth and Strathearn. but these were
barren honors, as the vast territorial
possessions of the dukes of Perth had
passed into other hands.
Lord Perth was engaged for many
years in litigation to recover the large
and valuable family estate in Perth
shire (including the magnificent do
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

It was the young daughter OF an East
Side saloonkeeper, innocent Of any the
cries of Sunday opening" but perfect
" familiar with the practice. She was
in her class in the mission Sunday
school, and, In the course of the cate
chism quiz" the question came to her:
"who made the world?"
God did," was the prompt answer.
'He made the world In six days. and
was arrested on the seventh."--New
York Commercial Advertiser.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
Didn't youch for Them Himself

Have you got anything that will
cure rheumatism" inquired the Gus
toner.
''why-er." said the druggist, limp
ing along behind the counter toward
the medicine shelves. I'VE have several
--er-remedies that are highly-er-re-
commended for Chicago
Tribune.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08


main of Drummond castle), which are
now possessed by Lord Ancaster, wac
inherited them through his grand
mother, Miss Clementina Drummona
who married Lord Willoughby 40
Eresby. Lord Perth failed In his En-
forts to regain the Drummond prop
erty. In addition to this disapc!nt.
ment he had grave domestic sorrows
to encounter, SO that his long life was
neither prosperous nor happy. Few
men have been so severely tried. The
earldoms OF Perth and Melfort win
now be separated, the former passing
to Lord Strathallan, while the latter
title and the French honors are In
herited by the late peers daughter,
Lady Edith Drummond.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08
A Common Object Of Hat.

Nell--why is Mrs. Grabber co unpop-
ular?
Belle-She has won forty-nine euchre
prizes this season.-Philadelphi Rec
ord.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

waiter-How would you like to have
your steak. sir?
Frank Customer (who has been watt
ing twenty minutes)-Very much, In
deed. thank you, IL II isn't to much
trouble.-Philadelphi Press
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

Man was made to mourn. but prob
ably II .vas never intended that he
should spend SO much OF his time at Il.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1902-05-08

One convincing proof OF good citi-
rcnship is the prompt payment OF
your bills.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
THE PENCIL AND THE PEN.
ropeans.

bulletin has been issued which shows that in
the business the pen is mighter indeed than the
sword the United States but the pencil is mghtier
than the pen
Taking all kinds of pens together steel, gold and
fountain and sylographicher value reported by the
manufacturers amounted in the year, about
81 0000 of which total fountain styographc pens
accounted for s90600O Gold pens worth $7990
produced and the value Of the steel pens
than $4,000.
These are large figures when it is considered how
many at the manufacturers price represented
by 100000 the cost value of the steel pens made in
the United States less than 100000 it must be
membered that not less than 254 900 pens
may represent far greater number for many fountain
and stylographic pens made of steel though not
cassed in that way The steel pens would
three for every man, and child in the United
States. Nearly 100000 pens made Of gold.
But Notwithstanding these facts the humble pen
Gil beat the pen The manufacturers reported value
of their product of lead pencils at than 81 2
The pencil surpassed the pen about 10 per cent
the kind of pencil made of nothing finer than
wood and graphite accounted for much than 80 per
cert of the whole value of the pencils manufactured
This relative supremacy of the lead pencil probably
unique in the civilized world Americans show ten
dency to take short cuts and less attention
lasting qualities OF the work they to the saving
of time when they prefer the pencil the pen 1t is
fourishes amazingly.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
GREAT EXPECTATIONS FOR AMERICA.

Continental Europe refuses take seriously British
plans for such consolidation Of the great segovernng
colonies of England with the mother might
enable the British empire to keep its old place the
foremost of the Englishspeaking nations The general
view of Europe that the United States will far
overshadow the United Kingdom in respect that
Canada Australia will either independent
else in way affiliate with the American Republic
Statistics especially the facts which measure posi-
bes Of growth and natural resources point in this d.
rection strongly that few Engshmen. such Will
lam T. Stead ready for the combination of the United
Kingdom with the United States at the cost of the
absorption of the British Isles in republic with its CAPT
tai at Washington and its chief seat of in the Mis-
sissppi valley This idea impossible of realz
aon however unless under pressure from outside foes
which would the spirit of the British people utterly
Americans imagine ancient realm for centuries
among the greatest powers of the EARTH consenng TO
become subordinate part of another country. The in
fuence of ties and business interests will hardly
extend so far that.
But speculatons OF the referred when they
INDUCED in by of ability and prestige pleasant
we'll interesting for Americans read. and not
much because they hater national pride because
they justify in large degree most extravagant
hopes of future greatness Americans be blamed
such commanding heights foreseen by able and
distinguished although enthusiastic and exceptional
ropeans.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
WHERE WOMEN ARE BUTCHERS.


Of all occupations that butcher or the
least suitable fair yet there at least one
country tbs trade is entirely monopozed by wo-
men and no men need apply"
That country is Paraguay where many occupations
which among us are invariably assumed by the sterner
sex fall to the The of this state
things heroic waged by Paraguay more than
thirty years ago against the overwhelming forces of Bra
zil the Argentine Republic and Uruguay combined This
war which lasted five years, bore many singular points
OF resemblance the Boer 1t ended in the
almost total humiliation of the abebodied male popua
ton Of the country the results may be read in the
following figures Population Paraguay 1851 1897
49, 1873 three years after the termination of the
war only 221G79; and of these nearly all
were women children and very old When the war
the people had been reduced to the most abec
poverty the verge of starvation being driven
expedients dogs and horses Worse
still owing the destruction of the male population per
feet anarchy prevailed all the formerly per-
by males fell the fair They rebuilt the
houses which had been burned down. titled the fields and
for themselves rough homespun clothing from the
cotton grown on their fields.
To this day butchers in all parts Paraguay
women In public slaughter houses the cattle are
dispatched by men, who the spinal column by cut
ting with sharp cuass just behind the nape of the
neck When the animal falls to the ground its throat is
and is allowed bleed death This is the only
part Of the work done by The animal is skinned
and otherwise prepared by Carcasses are then
conveyed the butchers stalls where the meat cut
up and sawed by women. who dexterous in the
of the and knife 1t is then served out customers
also by women-not generally by weight but by the
pieceand the price is low that pound of the best
may be bought for about penny.
Women Of all ages the part of butchers some are
young and pretty. others old and wrnkled The women
great barganers and mustard to pull a new
arrival almost to pieces in the hope OF securing
tom These women butchers good wages. and many
of those in business their acquire
est fortune.
In the larger towns the meat is only allowed be sold
in the public market place where stalls (owned by the
municipality let auction the highest bidders
The pubic have every security that the fresh for
al that is left unsold at night destroyed by the author
ues--a needful precaution warm climate The re
suit is that just previous TO closing time there great
reduction in prices and crowd OF bargain hunters ap
pear on the scene-economical housewives keepers of
cheap restaurants and the ke-or rather than see the
meat thrown destroyed the keepers OF the stalls
sen Tie remnants al almost any price
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
Daittf' :ssS aale
TOPEKA BETTER LET IT ALONE.
M. M. MURDOCH, Editor.


The Eagle whose advice unfortunately is never pal
atabe to Topeka believes that Topeka is making ser
Gus mistake in going into the freight conflict To
peka has no idea can have no conception of the rbula
tons concealed in slightly aggressive demand for an
equitable adjustment Those tribulations are
cumulative lasting destructive and in addition TO
peka may find that they have suicidal tendencies.
Topeka is to lose her pickle factory and in speaking
of the necessity correction in rates the Capital says
ION 10 other one thing the future growth OF Topeka
depend in such great degree With the rates held where
they are at present the end of industrial prog
ress for the city N effect it that the railroads
have decided that Topeka developed far enough and
that hereafter they will hold down and use their
power t divert business tbs point to other places
Tbs is the most dangerous sort of talk leads surely
into the most intricate labyrinth for community in the
world If kept up Topeka will be up to her neck in
the subject of long haus local rates casshcatons
basing lines She may even run vicious, city
destroying rebate two.
But all the investigation in world and all the ag
taton and all the exploitation Of injusces will remedy
nothing for Topeka 1t is not the cards for Topeka
to become distributing center Railroads not Great
ing distributing centers the shadow of Kansas City
distributing points the better for them
Topeka should cut out her ambition to be disrib-
utng point She can agate for twenty years on freight
rates and in the end she will find that the railroads will
be telling her ito show and she will get the
rates all right The while the railroads are doing every
thing on earth to prevent the getting the ton
mage
Moreover Topeka should careful particularly be
cause she has great good friend in the Santa Fee
The Santa FEES shops Topeka make practically the
bulk Of Topekas manufacturing interests; in fact
the bone and blood of the town.
And, being evidence of great railroads special
friendship for Topeka friendship which Wichita would
be only too glad gain Topeka not afford to leopard
ize by getting into the freight rate row. 1t
has no end is with inricacies and is produc
tive of more enmties anything commercial on this
round green globe.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
YOUNG OFFICERS DID II.

While the people of the United States have ceased TO
wonder who blew up the Maine. General Fftzhugh Lee
who consul general at Havana the time OF the de-
strucon of the baeship does to place the
blame where he thinks it belongs.
In lecture at the Wnona assembly in Indiana Cen
eral Lee said he convinced that the which de
stroyed the Maine and exploded by young Span
sh officers He did not hold Governor General Banco or
the Spanish officials Cuban affairs response
bic for the explosion but expressed his belief that the
young Spaniards kept their plans on purpose
General Lee bases his conviction upon the wellknown
hostility of the Spanards Americans in Havana the
time He that efforts made to brighten him out
Of Cuba but that he refused to and he is thoroughly
convinced that the spaniards graifed by the de-
struction of the Maine.
General Lees declaration calls attention once more to
the abandonment of all efforts raise the wreck OF the
Maine which would afford the only of discovering
for certainty whether the ship destroyed by an in
ternal external explosion.
But the wreck will probably be left to and decay
in the harbor of Havana where has for more than
four years.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02

between France and Germany though international jea
ousy and hatred very pronounced upon occa
sion and in Europe at the present the disposition
be to wait accessons Of strength both from
alliances and from these inventions Meanwhile the
progress of invention nearly that no govern
maintains advantage for any great length OF time
and ali governments count the probable cost OF modern
battles The whole situation summed up in the phrase
One afraid the other daresnt It is only when
proVocation comes from weak and hafcvilized people
martial ardor encouraged the lighting point by
statesmen
Undoubtedly another cause of restraint among GILL
lied communities is growing aversion for but the
inventors their influence They unwttingly
among the greatest benefactors of mankind
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
Mora of Lane.

A daer little boy whose winter home Is
in the oranges in Scw Jersey. and whose
summer home IS at Glen Summit. Pa
but whose identity shall not be further
disclosed. attended a dame school lsss
winter and. on an occasion when visitors
were announced. took part iE exercises in
their honor. The exercises comprised rec
itations by the brighter children. and
among them this dear little boy was call
ed On Re recited IN perfectly good faith
the following which he mad learned CT
caught from an indulgens nurse with semi
poefical instinct:
Jane ate cake and Jane ate jelly:
Jane wetn 70 bed with q pain IN her -
Now don't get excited.
Don't be nisled.
For what Jane rad was q pain in her
head
When the younEsteT told q this % his
entirely surprised and someE hat shocked
parents they asked him
What did the teacher say7
He replied:
She said nothing. she just turned
around and Looked eat q the window. but
che scholars and the visitors wanted ne
% say il again. Brooklyn Eagle.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
Makina SD e d.

From the Elchmond DiERatch-(
NeWcornsr fbrea thiessly entering station
5ust - train ceparts3-Thst blamed train
got away ieetle BIT % quick Ter ne. D.
gnks Does she come back this way
again. ar Station Agent
Agsnt-oh, yes. hut e VIII - something
Ike ave ho1rs before she's Cue q return
NeWconaer-That den', make - clHsr-
ence- - 1oRE - che coming rsck- 81
ST right down here ard wzii for hss. AID
you bet. IL catch her sEts tire
Arezt-Bat. o course. yol undernts 20
taat Ehsa IS CONES sack q VOC - 50
lrg the sarre way
SewcpE1sr-Certasriy bet tazt don
couas ~ al On This case Tou -. ~
Cd woman 51zt bst ne dollar woz.e
rot catch ftis EarrlcEle- train NaT1 :
10 condition about dtrsctf9- ~ AL 3
org - she 1ne same trzE1. cozt szlzke
= Qzrricss o eiFercrcs vSseH way Sc
Eal1' as Ear a. Es-asnf The uoreT - cvz-
sarue1 On. III catch h>z tssS tizsf -
r.Ens psrvs1e1 ! deaf fall ser sis~7 =
80 ryse71ff--f
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-02
9rusus LlssIe Joke.

From the Portland C-ezonlzz.l
.-Rrutus. sid CasSsls. vas1 Mare At
tc-v had r1ooiiizs1 two CT three carrs a
lsgionS snd gcf bis siEht-iuch raris-nre
ours into play Z have 20 IonEe- an
stomach fo- war
We'll re1ilsd B-utuS after rs clls.8-
mary Hve rasnutes ~ thcGGht ~hzTf-~
10 more cxsus bei1 xe uzzAt as ven H.
Eowa our er=s
And Z took Caesar another I've r1izuses
10 zx1ire % re deadly sntezssre fhzs Izv
sn the words % tie aobsess Eozzz q
them ali