Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1902-05-15
WAS THROWN BY ESSAY
How the Redoubtable King Was Fool.
ed by the "Ornery Sneak
HIS ACCOUNT OF THE DAMNED OUTRAGE
The Astute King Thought He Had Pumped The
Inspector as to Sub ct of the Essay,
But Fourd to His Chagrin
That He Had Not.

away up III the western part OIL 'tHiS
State a Civil Service examination was re-
Gently held for the position of mail car
rier for a Rural Free Delivery route. AS
such examinations are always advertised
for some time ahead, the population in
and around the village of B was con-
siderably stirred up over the event A
circus or an election would have scarcely
evoked more comment, and for hours at
a time the sturdy mountaineers would
discuss and rediscuss the approaching and
ail-absorbing examination. But the won
der of the whole matter was the numer-
Gus applicants who signified their desire
and Willingness to enter the contest.
! Without regard to intelligence, education,
race, color, or previous condition of SER
vitude they, one and all, girded up their
loins and marched forth to battle for
Civil Service honors. The followers of
Peter the Hermit were not more jealous
in their desire to get at the Threats of
the Infidel Moslems than were this band
of mountaineerS to get a whack at that
examination. They, of course, had no
idea what the nature of it. would De. But
a majority of them having at one time
or another hoodwinked and ~out-witted
the agents of Uncle Sam. from another
department, they felt confident Of their
ability to co likewise on this occasion.
At last the eventful day, or rather
the day before the eventful day arrived.
and with it came the Postofice Inspec-
tor who was to conduct the examina-
ton. He was a smart, hustling, b~ustling
sort of a little fellow, and gave every
Indication of being able to answer ques-
lions as we'll as PROFOUND them. At any
rate his ability in this direction was
soon put to the test.
Among the numerous aspirants for
Civil Service honors was one King. who
was supposed to be the best posted man
OF general topics in that section of the
country. He was at once the leading
wag and wit of the village. Though not
a pedagogue, he stood much in the same
position as Goldsmith's famous school
master of whom it is written that
C still they gazed and still the wonder
grew,
That one small head could carry all he
knew"
When King saw the inspector his heart
gave a great leap for joy. He was, in the
estimation of the modest King, a soft
snap. King would squeeze him as dry
as a 1cmon,-would pump him until he
should make known every question TIC
be asked at the approaching examination.
So, Immediately after supper, with this
Interior design in view the redoubtable
King sought out the dapper little in
spector. He found him at his room and
as may be expected under the circum-
stances was made heartily welcome.
In reply to several questions, Mr.. King
was politely informed that the exami-
nation would be practically confined te
reading. writing and arithmetic In ad-
dition however, each applicant would be
required to write an essay on a subject
to be selected by the examiner. RICH
here was Kings opportunity +! Now was
the propitious moment for him to make
his grand-stand play! He felt certain
that he could distance the whole com
| munity on the three. RS" and if he
could but show up we'll on the essay the
prize would assuredly be his. CAREFUL,
ccncealing his agitation, therefore, he
modestly enouircd if the inspector coult
r give him an idea as TO the probable sub
!, ject of the sketch. "Oh, yes, rephet
the inspector, something on the order
of the Southern Railway, the Blue Ridg'
, Mountains or the life of some eminen'
, man, say for instance, Abraham Lincoln
: King was delighted. If there was on
point in his character upon which n
, prided himself more than another 1t wa
his ability to read the minds and divin
, the thoughts of others. Something i
: the voice. in the eyes and in the name
o of the inspector gave him dead AVA
"The subject of that essay" chucklet
g King to himself, sis as certain to b
n Abraham Lincoln as grass is to grow i
t the spring" Prudently keeping III
t thought to himself, however, the war
$ King thanked the inspector cordially an
babe him a very good night.
d At twelve o'clock that night King wa
t writing for dear life by the light of
S kerosene lamp; at one O'Clock he wa
still at it tooth and nail; it was TIL
e same at two and three, and not until hi
s clock struck the hour of four did he res
from his labors and seek repose.
o! The examination was of course hel