Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-01-25
.: Facts and Fancies. X

~ Facts ana RANGES. ~
I>-~-~-~~1~-~-~~~I>~-~- ~-N-o-~-~-~r~~-0-~-~-~~~N
Costly thy apparel-as thy tailor viii
take thy word fOr.-rhe Schoclmaster.
Patience-'I see this man Marconi
who is experimenting with telegraphy
Patrice-"Falls back on the old-fash
Toned spark, after all|'-Yonkers States
man.
Mrs. O'Flinn-"Im writin' to the
schulz tacher, darlin', an l want ut To
he f0ine. How NANNY capitals do YOU
put into a sentence| Jennie-"Och. be
en.''-BostOn Courier.
Special Work for Navies.-When the
war drums throb no longer and the bat
tie flags are furled, etc, the great nayies
may still serve a useful purpose in the
collection of debts Shell out or be
shelled. Toronto Globe.
Om"er-"Is your brother. who was so
deaf, any better" Bridget Sure; he'll
be all right in the morning" you
don't say So" Yes; he was arrested
yesterday, and he gets his hearin' in the
morning. Denver Republican.
On the Ark-"This is tough luck" said
Ham mournfully, as he leaned out over
the side of the ark. What's wrong
now" quercd Shcm. why, all this
water to fish in" replied Ham. land only
two tishin' worms on board. Ohio State
journal.
In the Performance Of His Duty.-NIrs.
Hauskeep-"YOu needn't deny it, Della
| saw you permit that policeman to kiss
You last night" Delia-"Av coorse,
ma 'am. Shure, We wouldn't have me re-
Sist an officer, would e?'-Philadelphia
Press.
a burglar whose night entry into the
parsonage awakened the sleeplcss pastor,
said to his helpless victim: IF YOU
stir you re dead man. I'm hunting for
money! Just let me get up and strike
light" pleasantly replied the dominic,
and / shall be glad 10 assist you in the
search. boston Waterman.
Mrs. Wopples-" Funny dey amt no
notice oh NAH weddin' anniversary in
de almanac fer de year 1902"
Mrs. Jaekson-"I doan see why dey
should"
Mrs. Womles-"Why. dey've got dc
Lisbon earthquake an de Galveston tor
nado an lots oh udder catastrophes. =
Judge.
Careful HouSekecper - "nave You
boiled the drinking water?"
Faithful Servant-"Yes M"
And steriized the milk?'
"Yesm"
What is this in the soup?'
"Oh. that isn't no bacillus mum. That
is only cockroach. New York
Weekly.
How He Works !t-Jones-"How on
earth does Rmffem manage to get credit
for his clothes at that swell tailor s?'
BroWn-'The tailor found out that he
lived at the Hote Magnificent" Jones
But how does he manage to carry il of
with the hotel peopleT Brown sup
pose they judge him by his clothes. =
rt-Bits.
Mr. Clubman--"I see by the papers
that Il poor young man, who lost both
his legs while saving the life of beau
tiful heiress at a railway crossing, is to
marry the girl. She dismissed all suit
ors and offered herself To him." Mrs
Clubman mcaningly) - Very sensible
girl SheN know where her husband is
nights, anyway. New York Weekly.
''Gracious. exclaimed Mr.. phamliman
10 his spouse, we've had so much ra:n
lately. | do hope we won't have any
more for some time"
I'm tell You how you can make sure
of it. pa said the bright little boy
just gimme a quarter to save up for
rainy day. and I'll bet there won't be
one for year. philadelphia Press.
Going to Extremcs.-M Crimson
beak-"I see in the paper that Il
woman in looking after another woman.
TO see what she had on, tell out of the
window Mr.. Crimsonbcak-"W
that only goes to show that some wom-
en- in trying to follow the styles can so
too far. Workers Statesman.
On the Anxious Seat.--Returned Troop
Pr-"Clara, yoh were engaged to me. aud
yet hear that while l was at the front
you went out often with that old adj
mircr of yours, Bob CnIclSby." Clara
oh, George. he was SO thoughtful. and
/ was SO anxious, that he took me every
night to the--er--war otticc--to seer
il you were killed" -Isondon Answers.
Care OF the Mouth.
"Thc mouth bath is neglected more
fhap fbA lnAV hoth - uof -