Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-12-08

He-I love you more than words can
tell. She (shyly)-Well, there are other
ways.--Chicago News.
He-Am l good enough for you, dar-
ling? She-No, George; but you are
too good for any other girl.
Josh bet Zeke that he could stay
under water two minutes" Did Josh
VIM" "Yepv' "Where is he now?"
Under thar yet."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
What" says the inquisitive young
lady. lis the most popular color for a
bride" We may be a little particular
in these matters, but we should prefer
Il white one.
Mrs. Justwed (house- huntingdon!
Charlie, here's the lovellest little linen
closet. Janitor Qnterrupting) - Dat
amt no linen closet; dat's de dining
room.-Detroit Free Press.
Harry-Yes, darling, and it shall be
the purpose Of my life to surround you
with every comfort and to anticipate
and crafty your every wish. Georgina
How good of you. Harry! And all
on IS a week, too!
Judge-You do not seem to realize
the enormity Of the charge against
you. Prisoner-No, amt got my
lawyers bill yet. but I'm expectin'
the charge'll be enormous. all right
Philadelphia Record.
Betters-Tom does not think of him.
self In his efforts to get job under
government. 1t is the people he con.
siders, and the peoples interests. Will
he is the people.-Boston Transcript.
The first impressions: Mrs. Xtreme
What do you think of my new rainy
day skirt, dear? Mr.. Xtreme-Is that
a rainy-day skirt? Mrs. Ntreme-Cer-
tainly. What did you think it was?
Mr.. Ntreme-A ruflie ON your waist
Bazaar.
After the quarrel: He Ito HIMSELF
There! All ON account of my beastly
temper. suppose I've gone and said
too much. She Ito herself)-Oh. dear!
II l hadn't lost my temper, might
have said ever so much mOre.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Naked truth: Elderly maiden tout
rowing with a possible sutton and her
little sister. who Is frightened by the
waves)-Theodora, If you are so nerv-
GUS now what Will you be at my age?
Little sister (meekly)-Th!rty-seven.
suppose.-Tit-Bits
Kind Father-My dear, If you want
good husband marry Mr.. Goodheart.
He really and truly loves you. Daugh.
ter-Are you sure of that, pa? Kind
Father-Yes, indeed. I've been borrow.
ing money Of him for six months and
still he keeps coming.-Stray Stories.
wonder If Lucy Is engaged to that
young man who calls on her so Often?"
asked the gossipy neighbor. II don't
know" said the other gossipy neighbor,
but doubt 1t. understand he writes
for comic paper and heads his column
Nothing Serious. Buffalo Express.
See here" remarked the guest to
the new waiter. there doesn't seem
to be any soup on this menu card"
"Oh. no, SIR" replied the waiter. ner-
vously, II didn't spill it at this table
it was the one on the other side of the
room. "-Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
une
Poor woman! After her hard days
work she has to stay up half the night
with hel-babies." whats the matter
with her husband? Why doesn't he
help herr" "Oh, he puts in all his
time agitating for an eight hour day
for the workingman"-Phil
Press.
Burning verse: II wouldn't care If
that poet would bring in hundred
poems day" said the country editor.
He knows how to write 'em, does
he?" asked the office bore. "He GER
tainly does" replied the editor; "he
brings them in written on shingles"
indianapolis Sun.
Mary-George, have heard you
spoken of frequently as successful
business man. George am that.
Why? Mary-Well, considering the
fact that you have been visiting me for
three years, l think you should main.
tain your reputation and talk business.
He maintained his reputation.
"Aunte," said the Judge to the bat
tered lady of color, did your husband
strike you with malice aforethought 2"
"'Deed he didn't, jedge," was the in
dignant reply, "he didn't hit me wild
that mallet afore he thought: he'd been
figgerin' on dat er long time. jedge.
deed he had. "-Baltimore News.
He Had Seen One: Hiram" queried
Mrs. Meddergrass, did you ever see
one O. them air castles? Il low l hev,
mother" replied the old man; II seed
one O. the tarnal things last time l wuz
to tn city," what air they built out
NV, Hiram?" asked Mrs. Nj. Gold
bricks. mother. "-Chicago News.
A naval officer now engaged in ord
nance duty on a home station was
given to talking in his sleep. One night
recently he awakened his wife by start
ing up in bed and eXclaiming. in ac-
cents of plying distress: she must
have new jacket! l must manage to