Graham guardian., 1902-03-28
Regarding Globe and Other Places

"The man with the hoe is rest
ing serenely on the library shelf
but the woman with hoe is max.
ing garden and throwing clods at
the chickens for the ground is as
hard as a school MANS biscuits.
One night this week when poor
whiskey began to act on some good
men and good whiskey began to
perform on some bad ones, the
officers thought for a while they
had struck the real formation, but
before Henry got through with
them you could have taken corn
cob with lightning bug on the
end of it and run the whole gang
over a 100.foot bluff.
Times are so quiet in Globe just
now, the average business man may
be found profoundly absorbed in a
game Of solitaire any time in the
day and the "cliff dwellers" are
sending in their application to the
Salvation Army.
There is an overpowering pro.
clivity in Globe to build houses on
stills. Our virtuous dormitory is
no exception. Last Friday night
just as l was pulling the skirts OF
Morpheus overcoat over my head
and had begun to dream of my
long lost Mary Jane, truck team
got scared at the bass drum of the
Salvation Army and came down
the street, striking the underpin.
ing of my obscure shack at the
rate of a mile a minute. I had
just retired with clear conscience
and 80 cent jag, and a moment
later / lay 20 feet below in the
bosom Of Pinal wash, surrounded
with quilts, horse blankets, bur;
laps, ancient overcoats and anti
quated mosquito bar, not to mep-
tion dense crowd Of small boys,
all properly supplied with the most
approved horse laugh. My pillow
case was veneered with the dand
ruff and vaseline of ages, and my
stove pipe hat was showed over
my left leg up to the junction
with my right leg. The cold un
sympathizing public never knew
the extent and variety Of my &C
cumulations before. So the next
hruse 1 inhabit will not only be
on the ground, but in it. Dugouts
are the safest class of architecture
in this community.
1t Is surprising how many old
FOUNDERS in Globe will sit in a
chair around saloon till their
heads drop off when they have
comfortable beds not 100 yards
away.
Just now the town is full of old
boys who earned their money hard
and spent it easy. Now they are
sorry they were ever weaned
Small pox is rapidly disappear
ing in Globe. 1t is said to have
been communicated through the
handling of money, which explains
the fact that newspaper men and
lawyers appear to be immunes.
Safford's traditional homely wo-
man visited Globe last week thank
the Lord, for the dogs all took to
the hills, the burros went south
searching for blue birds and the
electric lights went out. When
that woman's face wont protect
her, the regular army can't.
A 2-bit drunk fell through ten
dollars window down at Max
Lanton's the other day with the
result that he has joined the gang
who sing "We II rally round the
rock pile"
The Elks election of officers
passed off the evening of the 21st
without bloodshed. In fact there
was but one contest in the whole
program, every other candidate
being elected by acclamation.
After the balloting was concluded
our thoughtful William Rolling re-
minded the officers EJECT, that a
suffocating spread was expected at
their hands next meeting night,
all unmindtul Of the fact that he
had secured the most important
office in the list, namely, repre-
sentative to the supreme conven-
ton at Salt Lake. Chuck Rogers
had just returned from the ella
valley in time to have the distin-
guished office Of leading knight
thrust upon and the laurel OF
triumph pressed gently upon his
sorrel locks. The other officers
who were elected and who will be
installed next meeting night are:
J. N. Star, Exalted Ruler; DR.. L.
Z. Shields Collins, Loyal Knight;
Floyd Bievins, Lecturing Knight;
Ed Stewart, Secretary; W. II. Win
ters, Treasurer; Taylor Frush,
Tyler. Our tyler was already IN
the harness and on adiuurning the