The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-02-23
FUN OF The WORLD.

= All conpositors. however intelligent. are
lct gifted with \ sense of humor. and
professional humorists sometimes suffer
severely at their hands Mark Twain
Jace had a trying experience with CON-
iositor-one OF those conscientious com
pos tors who not only knovr but tnow
TIA, they know. AR. Clemens had re
eeived from his publishers the proofs 81 4
story which h CONSIDERED as funn- as
anything he had ever written. oUs %.
reading the proofs h dislnaliN d.scevcrcd
that the fun had been carefully eiilnirat-
ec NT Clemens returned Shs proofs.
ccaSratuiatea the eornposltor upon hasins
Consumed ~caly . week IN snaFing sense
OF . story which hc himself required two
weeks 10 make nonsense Of
* Is
Ar Irishman. hent on showing his re-
c11tiy arrived friends the sights Of New
York. took him 10 thu bridge OF EsTsy-
nth street over the railroad tracks. I.sar
tho entrance 10 the Fourth avenue tunnel.
NJ lille ihev were aimirirg the view. the
Ari ise and the tunnel. the Empire State
I,NnreSs passed utief them with roar
ard a rush that almost took their breath
away ard Disappear - tae tunnel.
What dye think Of that Pat" said
Mike 70 his dazed companion.
az the sspiny office that hiss just svai-
lowed the rushing train lis a niehsv
small hole, ano a mighty big train II
them cars liver miss il there's going q
ne 4 horrible smash some day.
< e
MANY anecdotes aTe told n connection
with Lord Roschegry- ana some of ;heru
appear in the Peoples Friend. On one
OCCASION his lordsfip save I DINNER e.
Gumbsr If his Tenants. Sitfius neNs 70
him AT the table vaS q worthy l. nler.
who evidently wasn't accustomed 70 such
SURROUNDINGS nj such fare as h found
1T Dalmeny. When ICES were put Gown
before each guest the farmer not know ins
what he had % tackle. took one cf his
usual large spoonfUls. lie got 4 shock
hut manfulyv struggled and got 9~er H.
Turning To Lord Roseberry. he said. The
puddius froze. His ioTdship. with that
consideration fer the feelings OF Others
which is his well-known character site
took 4 spoonful and. lifting his eyebrows
10 express surprise. replied. by 9ove.
SO il is,
e <
4 popular Cleveland doctor tells this
story Of a bright boy. his own. who had
reached the mature age OF nine after an
early career marked by many Will and
mischevious prsnks.
His restless nature has made him Scne-
thing Of a torment 10 his teacher at times
and one afternoon. nor long ago she kept
him after the others were dismiss "a ard
had serious talk with him. Perhaps she
was a little afraid that her admoaitions
were falling on stony ground ANYWAY.
she finally said;
Il certainly will have 70 ask your father
to come aud see me.
ssDqusr Won do he
The teacher thought she had made an
impression.
Yes. she repeated. Il must send FOR
vour father
You better not said the bow
why not" inquired tie teacher.
Cause he charges $ a visit. said the
scamp.
A couple af men bought tickets 81 one
Of the CITY ticket agents yesterday for
Dawson City SAYS the Duluth Tribune
a fter the gratiied railroad man had gath
cred up the money. ESQ in all. one q TIE
men said that another fellow would be-
in later for ticket to the same po snts|
The two nlen had scarcely left tfts room
when another man walked ~ 30 the
counter and asked for = ticket 10 Cav
son. With the Assurance or TIE late
Of tickets 10 Dawson City in
his mind. the agent issued another
ticket To the same fsr-oT place, folded
it up and put it in an envelope. As he
laid the ticke. down the stranger de-
manded.
How much7
One hundred and twenty dollars.
please"
What's thst2' fairly shrleked the
stranger. as he tottered backward and
came near falling through the plate glass
window. Then II developed that the man
wanted a ticket 10 Dawson. MiDn..-six
dollars and some cents
II Is the sayings cf children that rake
men wise childish prattle turned 70 profit
hat make men rich In each sweet
.ongued expression there Is .essoor
ear ncd or an argument conclusiveiy set
led. This - particularly true OF two tiny
tots who tottled down the street hand IN
hand the other day. IN few words theg
decided much mocted question. and
hose who believe that The human being
s "a descendant Of the monkey and Won
ie- what became Of the hairy covering
hat still adcrns tho sirnian tribe cau nov
rest ip peace.
Say" said the FIRST ives Dod's little
angels. isn't We
'sYeth.' Ilsred the second. "but We
hasn't dot and feathers on nth like tn
title angels nv mamma showed me- ia a
picture book
Well. We had once. don't 90 snow2''
returned the first. hut Dol pulled en- All
81. before Him sent us down here
What for did Him do that
50 that W. couldn't ~ up Us the trees
when our mammas want us e. come
Town and be- washed
,as sengers on Is Fourteenth street car
occurred a few mornings ago 4 .auuE
nan with flowing blonde hair. who Is one
Z the hest-kroVn prosecuting o>icers
n Washington courts. tho victim @Iie
ried 20 be smart. one ~ the passengers T
emsrked hpe the Young man denies ga
.crusatioq. Tie car Has crowded as
usual and the Young man oec1fssd "a
eat near the door Why the met, rmsp .
hcuid stop the car for additional pass
ensorR ne could not understand fae car
topped. hoRever. and ia walked tiss we
men one vas wenau -of uncertain
e and not sfrikingiy ~ adsoms vfile
De ofnec Was Fouug woman iu hef
venties ard beautiful
Nov. said The prosecutor r. hirseIC i
~ shoE these reople that 2 n rot Rglnz
. give ur ms seat just becsuze : can
svor e pretty girl
He vacated the seat. snd Trarhirz %
90 woman y tae greater number ~
ears remarked - us seat f. for Yo4
How dare goo reject on mg asf lu
ach manner fhe woman ssksa ~f1
at take yoBr seat
Turning 81 the pretty vo8nr lady ~
sads fh. offer - file seat - beg eais g.
- tol5 "Iu not take o. either
Then tire yoa-S rsa vent hafs ~ f.T
: ~ folld ag r1Se eH fh~ niasfssr
-hue tls Passenger in the ezr enseresl
- aTafr a. a1xe Joke
Ez
I-.rn.rl hlnrr.n h re LIZ u a.