Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-10-23

on my back und smash der floor und
faints AWAY und vhas almost killed.
! hat more ash six plasters on my back
today und can hardly walk. When
opens my eyes, Joe vhas going hd,
ha ha! und no. no, no! und he can't
speak to me for fife minutes. l goes
home by an express wagon for twenty
fife cents, und when / goes to lick Joe
he says:
'Fa0aer, hat saved your life. You
lose more ash feefty pounds of fat und
shall no longer die of apoplexy. Wei
come home. You vhas now like some
antelope
Dots der vhay he speaks to his
poor old fadder, Hans, und What can
do about her?"
1T vhas awful times around | says
ash feels bad NIT him. Il hope he
don't do nottings more"
but he does; he does. You know
neffer go by sooch places ash horse
races, und if Joe goes I gif him some
awful lickings One day he comes to
me und says:
GRADER, I don't like to scare you,
but maybe you go into consumption und
vhas in your grave in three months
You vhas in der saloon all day und
don't get some fresh air. If you vhas
to die, | neffer smile again. Let us
go by der country und get some fresh
air und lif to be one hoonered years
DID,
'.Vhell, I vhas a leetle scared, und
so we got oudt. We ride on der open
street car. und we walk, und by un0
by we. comes to a place NIT high
fence und lots of peoples going in. l
doan' know what she vhas, but Joe
says some horses vhas going to run
around track to keep der flies AWAY.
He likes me to go in und see it, und
pellet it vhas all right. By und by
ten horses vhas brought oudt. | doan'
see no flies around, but my eyes vhas
poor. | vhas looking all around When
a man comes oop und says vhas Pc
ter Schmidt? I vhas. Well, he Will
bet me twenty dollar on dot favorite.
I doan' know what he means, but Joe
explains:
'Fadder, you wait leetle. 1t vhas
all fixed oop dot der horse who gets
avhdy last comes in first. You bet
your money on dot last horse"
"Und did you do dot?" l asks.
t'Of course. I doan' know nOttings,
und Joe knows all about her. Yes, /
bet on der last horse, und / lost dwendy
dollars. He doan' come in ahead by
nalf mile. like Joe to explain some
more but he shakes all Offer und
laughs ha, ha, ha! und no, no, no.!
und he can't talk for two minutes. Den
he says so many flies vhas on my
horse dot he can't run, und more ash
feefty peoples laugh at me und say /
vhas some cabbage heads. | make Joe
come away und go home, und | belief
1 Will gift him some Hckings when he
says my lungs vhas all right und / can
play, sooch game of football as nef-
fer vhas. Hans, l doan' know about
her. Vhas my son Joe right or does he
make fun of tme?
"Vhell, it looks to me ash if he play
some games on you"
"Und so he looks to me. und | feel
bad all oafer He vhas my son, but
if he doan' make fun of me why does
he go ho. no, no? Very well, l shall
go home. Joe Will come to me und
say / shall go nit him to baseball to
cure my rheumatism. und l Will walk
him oudt in der back yard und slump
him four feet high und laugh ha, ha!
no, no! und make him carry in two
tons of coal to keep some flies off his
hat Hans, we vhas two Dootchmans
together und know how she vhas.
Goodby und if you hear some yells
und whoops you may know dot things
hat changed und vhas having fun
NIT Joe." M. QUAD.