The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1902-10-31
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Dealer.
'Mannish sort of girl" as she real
ly?" very. She used the telephone
for the first time in her life to-day, and
lie didn't giggle once"
Tough: "Oh. Henry. don't cut your
pie with a knife" ELIZA, you ought
to be thankful don't call for a can
opener. Record.
Briggs-What's your idea of heaven?
Griggs-Well, it's the way a man feels
the first three days after he is home
from a summer vacation.-Life.
his Object: Citiman-I see you raise
your own vegetables. Suburbanite-
No! l simply plant a small garden so
as to keep the chickens at home.-Life.
Reporter-You are so confident of
-trong clew. Detective-We have. He
didn't wear a Panama.-New York
Sun.
1.-THE singer has made great strides
in the profession, hasn't sheY" yes,
indeed. Formerly, when she received
an encore, she sang; now she usually
smiles"
A Clever Lawyer: "Is he a good law
yer?" "a good lawyer! Why, sayl 1
have known him to prove the truth Of
what isn't so, and not half try."-Chi-
cago Post.
Making love: GAS a mere matter of
curiosity. sir, l should like to know
ow long you have been making love
to my wifeY Il began, sir, when you
left ofi."-Life.
Mother-Did the professor propose?
Daughter-Dear me, mother, he was
on the very verge Of it, and foolishly
happened to mention bacteria.-De-
troit Free Press.
Papa, what is the difference be-
tween the smart set and the four hun
dred? "Why. my son, the four hum
dred is limited to twenty-six hundred,
but everybody is in the smart set
Life.
Our Two Great Glasses: The world
,eems to be divided into two classes q;
those who board, and envy those who
keep house, and those who keep house,
and envy the boarders.-Atchison
Globe.
"And you still insist that your flying
machine is a practical commercial
quantity?" Il do" answered the bust
ness-like inventor; IF you don't believe
| it | can show YOU the gate receipts
| Washington Star.
Magistrate-Now I'll let you off this
time, but it must be a lesson for you
not to be in bad company again. Pris-
Oner-Gee whizz! it amt my fault that
I'm here; the cops made me come
Philadelphia Record.
Lawyer Brief see that case Of
yours is on. Jury drawn yet? Lawyer
Skinner-Yes, and it's a splendid one
Lawker Brief-Above the average IL
intelligence, Ell? Lawyer Skinner-No
way below it.-Philadelphia Press.
At Two Dollars Visit: Yes, thu
doctor has put me on the strictest kline
of diet" Indeed. What Is it?'
"Well, he says l mustn't eat anything
l don't like, and not any more than
want of what do."-BaltimOre News
"What are you doing?" asked the JUS
ice as the defendants counsel begal
his argument. Going TO present Oh
side of the case" IL don't want t
hear both Sides" replied the justice
1T has a tindincy to confuse the coort.
Driver-Did you mark the spo
where your comrade fell out of tn
boat and was drowned? O'Lafferty-
Shure OF did. OF took a piece av WOO
an left it foatin' on tn wather at Il
very place he went down, sor.-Ohi
State Journal.
The Real Thing: 'Are you a real Il
dian?" asked the investigating yout
of one of the painted Indians who AZ
companied Buffalo Bilrs Wild Yves
Show. Sure! replied the Indian;
was born an raised in Indianapoli
Indiana. Exchange.
Mrs. Wederly (unmasking after IL
fancy balD-Oh, but didn't l fool yol
though? You had no idea that yo
were flirting with your wife all IL
evening. Mr.. Wederly-No, hadn'
you were so very agreeable l was con
pletely deceived Bits.
The danger of a little knowledg
'Dsn't you sometimes regret that yC
> did not devote more time to your ed
cation in early life?" mo, sir" a
swered the politician; "if had learnt
J to talk grammatical the voters in n
! district would think l was putin {