davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
you can see everyone who comes in with
out the slightest trouble.-Philadelph

you can see everyone who comes. in with
out the slightest trouble.-Philadelph
Press.
That Dinner.-'Wasn't that dinner we
just had great?" Elegant! | don't know
when l have felt so uncomfo-tabl p
Town and Country.
"Oh, I've caught you, Sylvester Dinxle!
You're fine husband to stay down at
your club until ten minutes past II, and
then come creeping upstairs, with your
shoes off, so that your wife won't hear
don't you?' >'
IL know I am. Maria-most infer.
nally shrewd!'-Life.
Boy Ito Grocer) A pound of sugar at
so, pound of butter; at 1s4d, a pound
OF cheese at 3d. two poundsSsof tea at
2s6d a pound. IL I give YOU 7s6d how
much would you give me back?
Grocer. lwriting it all down)-Why, sd:
= Boy-Please give me that bill; it's nv
home work for tonight; I am just going
home to copy it out.-Tit-Bits
Father (who has caught Patrick steal
ing)--I thought you-knew better than TO
commit a theft. You know how the law
punishe& people forssmall offenses ?iI q
Patrick How shout IS you, &S father.
when, you stole: mothers heart I? III You
never got punished for that ~ &$ -
Father4--l got very severe punish
ment, my son, I got penal servitudc for
life, and am doing it nOw.-Tit- Bits.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
New Robinson Crusoe Found on Des.
ert Island.

BY the = steamship China, which ar
rived at Honolulu, via San Francisco, rel
GENTLY comes story of@a real Japanese
Robinson Crusoe, who lived for seventeen
years on deserted island near Gensan,
off COrea.
The man was seen by the Japanese
master of fishing schooner, who
thought him a monster from his wild an
pearance and did not dare land. He re-
ported to the Japanese government.
the man on the island. He was found
and brought back to Nagasaki.
The man had been so long without
companionship that he was reduced a.
most to imbecility. His hair and beard
were long and unkempt, and he had al
most lost the power Of speech. He had
been cast away on the island seventeen
years ago and. had snbsisted since that
time on seaweed and fish, living in a
cave. He was entirely without imple-
ments of iron or any means OF utilizing
the scanty materials Of nature which the
island furnished. - -
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
CHOICE BIT FROM HIS "PEN.' -
Ex-senator Evarts Thought Slice of
Ham Would Answer.

Ex-senator Evarts Thought Slice of
Ham Would Answer.
While DR.. Seward Webb was travel
ing in the Far West his friends in Ver-
mont had him n mind for the nomina-
ton for governor. 1t was while he was
counting his wife Ia daughter of VIII.
liam H. Vanderbilt) that DR.. Webb be-
gan his annual visits to the Green
Mountain state. To be5near her he paid
a call upon the late William M. Evarts,
says the Philadelphia Press, who owned
a fine farm in Vermont.
Mr.. Webb arrived at the ex-senators
fhotse about noonfo on a." very hot day.
Luncheon was just served in the dining
room, the table placed almost underneath
a large sold-fash ioned fireplace. Among
other things ION the board was "a cod
ham, stuck all over with spices. which
Mr.: Evarts proceeded to carve. 80.
Doctor" he asked. "'did you ever hear
Of the - Magazine - 49, ~ f%> 80
"Oh, yes" replied DR.. Webb. Il be-
lieve it is something new they have just
started over in Brooklyn" ~.
IS SWELL, doctor,''' continued Mr.. Eyarts,
't.that magazine has written ME to send
them something choice from my pen: 81
guess I'lL send themia slice of this ham,
EEl#% AsNE-L--- = ----- -. ---AsSL Stf@-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
LAWYERS FIRST CASE.

Two lawyers, two years past their bar
examinations, were sitting in an uptown
club last evening. This is the story that
one of them told:
My first case was even more interest
ing than yours. 4 college chum of mine
asked me to collect bad debt of $50
for him. 1t was a three months overdue
Importance, and ten minutes~after. hay
ing been asked to make the collection
started on its way very polite letter to
the debtor asking him to square up a
little account. a week went by, then
two weeks. and I received no response.
l wrote second and third letter, the
last note practically ordering the debtor
to call Gil H;e. The. last letter con-
tanned a pretty broad threat that I
would at once bring proceedings against
him if he wouldn't settle.
Next day broad-shouldered 6-footer
threw open my door with vicious jerk
he was foot taller than land sat
down with force enough to shake the
room. Because of his physical strength
l thought he would be easy to handle
mentally. l argued the matter of the
$50 with him for nearly an hour; he re-
manned as mute as post.
When l had almost lost my patience
he rose to 60. His. silence so exasperat-
ed me that I hustled to the door and
barred the way. At this he turned and
nodded to someone whom he had brought
with him, and whom I had scarcely no.
ticed.
Then he said sharply, Il wish to pass
OUT
|, losing my head entirely, replied,
mot until you express yourself in some
way regarding the sum due my client"
Whereupon he eyed me coldly for fully
minute, and then drawled: 80 *
If you pay me $3.50 now, on the
spot, will waive my right to sue: you fol
false imprisonment - 4 = a.:
had a witness with him. I would have
given $1,000 to have kept the dreadful
6uke out Of the mouths of my friends.
We compromised by my paying him 500
and my settling with my own client.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
"PLAY BALL.

Play ball!'' The old cry echoes DER the
peaceful fsan, ~ vale k o Of Cherry creek, and
rows of rooters spring a leak! The
batter grasps the willow club, the
pitcher strikes an attitude, the catcher
gives his hands a rub, the umpire
play; the ball has gone, and once
again the seasons on!
Way up the telegraphic pole the eager
small boy perches high, and in the
fence each :knotty hole-and they are
many-frames an eye. The score-card
merchants voice rings out, the voice
nut vendors loudly shout, the kid pro-
claims his chewing gum, and that same
cushion man is there to save our pan
talettes from wear.
The knocker with his noisy knock, the. kick
~r with his mulish kick: the .talker
e ~ With his bpllys talk,upon the seats as
; smart attire, enthusiasm IN their: eyes,
are there in bevies TO admire and ;laud
the players to- the skies. and spank
their dainty hands when one Of hand
some figure makes run.
The old excuses now are fed'to bosses from
employees lip: The grandma on. her
Ia grippe. That dying grandma viii
be sDied beside her grandson sitting
there, the. sick wife by her husband
side, and how those frauds will blush
and stare to catch their old employ
ers' eyes lit up with half-amused sur
prise!
The game is on, the seasons here, the
stricken ball cuts through the air, the
batters fan the atmosphere, the run
.ners round the bases tear, the UNI
. pire calls the strikes and balls; puts
heeds the ! ooters' angry squalls that
they: Will Kill him sure as sin! The
.+:. seasons here: the same. old muss, anu
ON the seats the same old u.s.
=. : Denver Post.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
Not Going to that Place.

A story is told of a canny Scot who
dealt in old horses, alternating his spells
of labor with heavy sprees. During the
period Of depression which followed each
overindulgence John shabitually took to
liz Bible. During one Of these ft ae fa aa-
tempted reformation >his condition
prompted his wife to call in Rev. Mr..
Wallace, the parish minister, who at the
time happened to be passing. s@sz
.'Oh, Master Wallace, come in and
see DOR John: he's rale bad .z....G
T. What's wrang wi him?'' II. -; s l E. z.
Mrs. John. St:s. ss5s&
Quick as fire came the crushing reply:
'Hnmph; tell'm he medina be feart for
that: he'll never seem . s. s & s
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
Strength Of the Philosopher.

''You do not have time to get much
fun out of life, do you, poor child?' said
friend to a young business woman.
Perhaps not was the sunny rejoinder.
But l try to put some fun into it, A
philosophic view Of the situation which
vantage. There is no use thinking what
we would like to have or to do; for the
majority Of people fate has settled all
that. They cannot change their position
in life, however much they may desire
to do so. but everyone with good health
and courage can bring cheer and GER
tain amount Of enjoyment into his ex
istence. Besides, the world loves a smil-
ing face. and bestows its good gifts with
far more willingness upon the laughing
philosopher than upon one who goes
about with melancholy countenancc,
brooding over his troubles. Even great
misfortunes cannot permanently sub
to rise through the dark waves of trou-
BILE, and rejoice once more at the blue
sky and sunshine. 1t does not mend mat
tiers to repine over our untoward fate.
''What does a seaman s(iO if mast and
rudder are carried away?'' says Henry
Esmond. The ships a jury mast and
steers as best he can with an oar and
lady found that her great ship had gone
down, she began as best she might after
she had rallied from the effects of her
loss to put out small ventures of happi-
ness and hope for little gains and re-
turns, like merchant on Change hav-
ing lost his thousands embarks few
guineas on the next Ship" One of the
great capitalists of England, who re-
ceived baronetcy from the Queen on
account of his important services in a
commercial way, failed in business at
so so badly that his creditors clamored
for his arrest, and it was after this ap-
parent Waterloo, that he won prestige
should never lose heart.-New York
Tribune
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

patch follows dispatch. Orderlies gallon
up with brides loose. The marshal is in
demand. Did I not tell you, however
that nothing could prevent him from FIJI.
ishing his game? y. :, : .=Se;,
Your turn, captain" < :-z3 n
But the captain is certainly more Of
less distracted. What can you expect
forgets" himself sadly, and makes sue.
cessfon OF good shots which almost win
him the game. The marshal is furionsl
Surprise and Indignation render HIM
speechless for the moment. Just then
the sound Of hoofs is heard in the court,
A horse, sore spent from wounds and
exhaustion, falls to the ground as his
camp, covered With mud, forces the sem
try, and gains the top of the staircase
with boNa1. stMarshal' Marshall" he
cries. :.
Bursting with rage and red as cock,
the great warrior comes to the window,
cue in hand, = - i
What does this mean7 Why am I
bothered? Is there no sentinel there q:
Bat marshall" s
''Peste! An in good time. Let my or
ders be obeSed, nom de Dieuv' And the
Let them obey his orders! = =,
Poor souls! They are doing the best
they can under the enemy's relentless
fire, while beaten by wind and rain, and
the marshal continues his game. Entire
battalions are overwhelmed while others
stand one side, mere spectators, without
being able to explain their inaction. =
They are awaiting orders. ..
But they have no need of orders to-
die, so men drop by hundreds behind the
bushes. in. the moat, in front Of the
great silent chateau. Even after they
have fallen the grape shot tears them
again, and from their open wounds flows
noiselessly the generous blood Of France,
Up there in the billiard room the game
grows intensely exciting. The marshal
has recovered his advance, but the little
captain is defending himself like a lion.
Seventeen! Eighteen! Nineteen!
Scarcely have they time to mark the
points. The noise Of battle comes near
er. The marshal has only one to go.
The shells have already reached the
park. One of them has just burst over
the pond. The smooth surface is dis
turbed; swan swims off in terror, it's
beating wings scattering bloody spray.
It is the last point.
Now there is almost perfect silence.
But the rain still falls and a confused
rumble comes from the bottom of the
hill, and on the muddy roads there is a
sound like the tramping of troop in
frantic fight.
The army is completely routed and the
marshal has Won his game.-Translated
from the French of Alphonse Daudet for
the New York Commercial Advertiser BY
Walter T. Stephenson.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
BETWEEN THE LIGHTS.

Dear heart, come closer while the light :
Dies slowly in the darkening sky, 49,.
And, marshaled at the call Of night, y !
The twilight shades troop softly by
would not have you sorrow so
Because 1t must be, soon or late,
That one Of US, alone, will 60
From out the light thro' deaths dark
gate. -
!.
For life at best is all too short
When measured by a love like ours,
And death Is but an open port j.
To broader fields and fairer flowers. -
So, while the twilight shades troop past
And night and darkness come Rpace.
We know the dawn will break at last,
And always there Is light some place.
A. c.. WINS In .Aiuslee'e
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
"Premedftaahun".

ernoon recently were very much, enter
tanned and. amused by discussion of
things spiritual by two colored passen-
gers. As the debate waxed warmer. the
voices Of the debaters grew louder until
what was said was plainly audible to all
in, the car. After each had made con-
fession of faith and given his views OF
the: means whereby mortal man could
out, in a tone that implied that an his
hope for the next world was embodied
in the words: .@-s = 10 s5S r..
''sWell, sab. I b'lieve dat what's gwine
to be is sho'ly gwine to be- .,.sss5-s.
'Huhy' grunted his companion, con-
temptuously den 70 b'lieves in pre-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The reported discovery of natural gasin
the village of Heathfeld, Sussex, Eng
land, will encourage Britons to believe
that eventually their manufacturing in
dustries may be able to leave their coal
for the kings navy. =.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

.: 1t is reported:that the passion for NOV
ing is so strong i'll Chicago this year that
express1nen have raised their rates a
: hundred per cent. The movers, however,
will he as restless as ever even after
they have paid exorbitant prices to be
. moved, and will learn sooner or later
: that the only way to attain felicity by
moving is to move out of Chicago.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Fhe verdict Both dead" brought in by
a coroners' jury at Fulton, KY, in the
case of murder and retributory lynching,
is a laconic finding that is likely to be
copied by future juries in the land Of
feudS and shooting
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

There is a great deal of hot air in
this expression by NJ. Santos-Dumont:
Within my lifetime l shall see a fleet
of giant airships between New York and
Paris. hope to see New York the great
air port of the New World. I hope with
in ten years to cross the Atlantic in my
own airship." AS the Brazilian aero
maui is a follower Of the lighter-than-the-
air theory, he evidently expects a wind
less future
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Tie Waukegan Bachelors Club. which
annually elects a member to run the risk
of marriage within year, evidently re-
lies upon the courts to remedy with d.
vorces any mistakes that may result from
its mandates
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

!, "Fitz'' having backed down and out,
< 'orbett has stepped to the front to main
tain the jaw-wagging Of the champion
heavyweights. There may not be any
fighting, but the public is sure of an en-
pertaining exchange Of ring jargon.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

William Waldorf Aston, who has left
this country for the more alluring social
advantages of the court of King Ed
ward, may find a fair imitation in Mrs.
Elliott F. Shepard, the famous American
society leader, who is said to be con-
rope. Mrs. Shepard is the owner Of the
finest country home in America, her pal
ace on the Hudson having cost nearly
Sc. 600 600
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Had Santos Dumont sailed in with his
air-ship, he might have escaped the Gus
toms duty at New York which he is
now trying to have RENTED by the
Washington authorities
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The naval architect who located the
electric motors for the ammunition
hoists in the magazine Of. the battleship
Illinois has more faith in tie integrity Of
the ammunition than have the officers
Of the ship, who have called for the re-
:moval Of the danger.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Charleston undoubtedly believes that
st. Louis would consult wisdom in max
ing the postponement of the Louisiana
Purchase Exposition indefinite.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

A dry" Sunday in New York. as a
result of rigid enforcement Of the ex-
else law, has caused warping Of pub
lie opinion in regard to the arid policy.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The appearance of the cholera in Ma
Mia gives the American another oppor-
tunity to demonstrate the value Of SAM
tation to the Filipinos.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The young Illinois couple who courted
by wire will be outdone by couple of
the near future, who will spark without
the use of wires.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The flying machines which a Chicago
inventor is Building for an Arctic voyage
will of course be filed with hot dir,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Kid Mccoy seems to have left tn.
P"g'!lSt'c ring and entered the contest
for lie matrimonial championship.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

If Jeffries were to promise to meet
Fitzsimmons in London, "Fitz' would
probably ask him to meet him in the
salubriors atmosphere Of extreme South
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Bob Fitzsimmons would save his solar
plexus if he has to 60 to England to do
the trick
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The verdict of acquittal in the Rich
land Center case leaves the price of sto-
len kisses for future judicial determina-
ton 3
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
A COMPLETE MONOPOLY.
No more the chill dish jingle wins
Our souls FROM musings sad;

"A
No more the chill dish jingle wins
Our souls from\musings sad;
The Meat Trust owns the little lamb
That gentle Mary had.
The: following ambiguous advertisement
recently appeared in a Detroit paper:
. ':Nn1otice-1f swho is supposed to be
in Chicago. will communicate with his
friends at home he will hear something
to his advantage. His wife is dead.''
''The refrain we said to our neighbor
at the vaudeville performance, while tho
prettier than the verse"
EYES," he agreed. Il wish he would re-
frain altogether. "-Baltimore American.
cholly (who didn't know Willie was
under the sofa)-Now, Willie, if l were
to give you a penny what would you
:, Willie who did)-I'd say.y' must take
me f'r a :felly what's tservin' his. first
term in tn legislachur.- News.
.sYou should get your ears Topped,
O'Brien," said ''smart" tourist to an
Irish peasant whom he was quizzing;
they're too large for man"
II was just thinKin' yours would want to
be made larger; sure, they're too small
for an ass.'''-Tit-Bits. y
Two young ladies were talking. the
other day about a third who had just be-
come engaged to q widOwer, who plays
the cornet and has four children. ''What
could be worse exclaimsd one, thar !,
dren and trombone. Tiit-Bits. s.:
3 No. E<., s
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

To most people, the proposed Hard
ware Trust is an attempt to bite off
chunk that will be very difficult to masti-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

The University Of Wisconsin may be
making progress, though it does not get
q head
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
METEOR A GRAND YACHT
Skipper Parker Says it will Take a
Very~Gooe1@Roat to
Beat Her.

''The Meteor is grand yacht and it
is the opinion of Skipper Ben Parker Of
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

e'1n the Senate, of course, they always
adhere to parliamentary rules"
"SOmetimes, and sometimes to Marquis
of Queensberry. ''-Philadelphia Press.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25

Mrs. Youngwife-1 want to get some
salad. Dealer-Yes'm. How many
heads? "Oh, goodness! 1 thought YOU
took the heads off. I just want plain
chicken salad Times.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
FACTS AND FANCIES.

EARRINGS are still the fashion with
telephone girls.-Philadelphia Record.
Nightmares.-"I dream my stories,''
said Hicks, the author. How you must
dread going to bedv' exclaimed Cynicus
-Tit-Bit
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-25
Showed His Meanness.

A little colloquy between two darkey
baggage smashers at the station just as
the train was leaving Summerville, N.
c., amused a Northern tourist. One was
struggling with a trunk which seemed to
be pretty heavy. Il feels kinder mean
dis mawning, : said he as he gave the big;
trunk hitch. eYo' shuhly can't feel
any fmeaner dan yo' is, tenderly replied.
his associate. S.. -E.sss|
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-01-24
"DENVER ED" TO
BOX TOMORROW

Denver" Ed Smith will give a box
ing exhibition tomorrow night in the
hall over the Club Stables. commencing
at 7:3O o'clock He Is scheduled to go
four rounds with Con Mccarthy.
heavyweight champion OF the navy.
Several Of the best known boxers In
Honolulu will appear during the even
ing. Denver" Ed Smith will furnish
the wind-up. which will be preceded by
the following four-round contests:
Jack Hector. of Camp Mckinley.
champion welterweight OF Maine vs..
Sailor Wilson.
Jack Corfield. the Mohican terror, vs.
Jack King.
Bill Hubbard vs.. kid" harrington.
Joe Gonsalves. lightweight champion
of Punchbowl, VS.. "Expressman" An
derson, lightweight champion or ka-
kaako.
During the evening Nagasaki and
Tanaka, two famous local wreStlers,
will compete for the Japanese wrest-
ling championship of Honolulu
Demetrius Gambrinus Camarinos has
consented to act as master IF cere-
monies.
The High Sheriff issued the neces-
sary permit for the exhibition yester-
cay, and nothing stands In the way
of an excellent evenings entertain
meut