Waterbury Democrat., 1902-02-04
How William Strengthened His
 Memory
NTR. WILLIAM THoTLEss is a


 NHR. WILLIAM THOTLESS is g TVB pleasant, amia ble, rat her absent minded man, with chronic tendency toward forgetting to mail his wife's letters. If that was as far as his for getfulness extended he might have borne it with humility. But when it reached the degree of making him ridi- culous he began to despair.
 It was such an insane thing to have man ask him where his hat was, only to discover he had ben walking for blocks without it, or to take his wife to the races and then drive home with out her-forgetting in fact, all about !. her. That was dreadful day for MT. Thotless, and it took him weeks to live it down.
 But the crisis came all in one even- ing. They had a pretty, comfortable home on Sixtieth street, about three blocks from the e.eleva ted. It was rain ing, and Mir. Thotless conceived the happy idea of pleasing his wife by in. vesting in some fine hot rolls at the bakery, few blocks from his home
 He smiled as he lowered his unn- brella to climb the elevated steps, and continued to smile as he bought his ticket. When the train came to a standstill he gallantly allowed a lady precedence and then politely boarded the train, first trying to raise his um- brella, with the absent-minded smile still on his face. But instead of rais- ing the umbrella he knocked off the hat of a stout German, poked an elder 1 ly lady in the ribs, and got all tangled up in the blonde hair of the lady stand ing just ahead of him.
 There was a general look of aston. ishment on the faces of the other pas sengers, which turned into a laugh, and Mr. Thotless suddenly awoke to the fact that he was making himself ridiculous.
 But the rolls were still uPpermost in his mind. On the corner stood a drug 1 store and beside it the bakery shop he l sought. He marched cheerfully into { the first door he came to, and, ad. dressing superior-looking young 1 man behind soda water counter, said:
 esGive me half dozen fresh rolls, please, and want them very hot.''
 The young man looked puzzled. He had heard of a good many drinks in his day, but this one was entirely new to him.
 'sWould you mind repea ting your or 3 der?" he asked. 'sI didn't quite catch it.''
 ssRolls, man, rolls!" shouted MT. l Thotless testify. Don't you know l what rolls are? Breadl Hot breadl.
 The young man resumed his superior attitude. "Oh," he said, airily, five don't make them here. We leave that to the bakery next door"
 Then Mr. TGotless awoke from his trance to realize for the first time that ] he was in the drug store. He meekly apologized and went out. But when did his misfortunes ever come singly He walked in the next door and again gave his order for rolls, this time to pert young woman behind a wire screen.
 Say, mister. this is drug store g she giggled ''We don't sell hot rolls; we sell the cure for the indigestion you get after eating them,'' and she laughed again joyfully at her own wit.
 As Mir. Thotless made his hasty egress he heard the voice of the SUI perior young man say: That dern fool has just been in this door ask ing for those same rolls,'' and their jeering laughter followed him all the way home.
 But his troubles were not yet over. Armed with the rolls at last, he walked peacefully on until he reached Sixty-frst street. There was one thing he never forgot to do; that was to look at the number of the house in order to avert any tendency to- ward mistakes, for he was we'll aware of h:s weakness. It was the right number, so he pulled out his key and thought of the rolls so hot and snug ul,ier his arm and of Ma ria's pleasure, and chuckled indul- gently to himself.
 It occurred to him that the hall looked queer and that he had never seen that hat rack before, but his wife had always been great hand at changing things about. But he could have taken his oath that that paper always had been red. Strange" he l thought, sshow little man can really be relied upon to remember these de tails.''
 siMariel'' he called gleefully, 'Where are you, pet?"
 An who be you, to be addressing me thus?" came a voice from the ! hu SarpaY1f