The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-11

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A new phase: Beware, sir, how YOU
order me not to see your daughter
again. l belong to the Lovers Union
and one word from me will boycott
her."-Life.
Red. White, and Blue. 'Thar must
De a woodpile up to college, Maria"
"Nhy. Hiram" Because Crawfoot's
son writes that he sees our Silas pick
ing up chips every night Chicago
Daily News.
Not Identified. Mr.. Gillis-Surely.
Miss Gray, You haven't forgotten me
already? Why, 1 proposed to you at
the seashore last summer. Miss Gray
(much puzzled)-Can't you recall some
other incident?-Judge.
Served her right: "Why did YOU
murder your wife?' asked the mission
airy of the cannibal king. Because
she put no doylies under the finger.
bowls at the table," howled the saw
age.-Baltimore World.
Resourceful Man. "Where's your bot
tie of cough medicine, Josiah:' what
do you want with it:' "Wen, you
! won't take it, and as it cost ninepence
1t shan't be wasted. Pm going to pol
ish the piano with it.'-Tit-Bits.
Clearance Sale. First Bulgarian
Randit-The chief has cut the ransom
to $1,000. Second Bulgarian Bandit
Yes, his idea is to close out all the
missionaries on hand, to make room
for new stock, I'm told.-New York
Sun.
A Change for the Worst Wandering
Willle-W'at's de matter, pard? Yer
look bad. Weary Wraggles-Tm allus
dis way durin' Lent. I find dat hard
boiled eggs an cole Gshballs is worse
fer me detection dan mince pie
Judge.
Phil Brick-What's the difference be-
tween an honest and dishonest politi-
clan? Phil Ossifer-One is in politics
for the good he can do his fellow-citi-
zen, while the other is in politics for
any amount he can do his fellow-citi-
zens.-Ohio State Journal.
Casey-Did ye hear about poor Elan
merry? Cassidy-Sorra the word. Ca
sey-Shure, the big stame hammer in
the foundry dropped on his chist an
killed him. Cassidy-Well, Oim not
surprised, for he always had wake
chist.-Philadelphia Press.
Obliglng: do you think you had
better eat another piece of pie?" asked
the neighbor lady, who had already
given little Bobbie one piece for run
ming an Grand. Eyes, ma'am," replied
Bobbie, promptly, 4 will if you want
me to."-Ohio State Journal.
Just Minute Late Sweet Wife
Oh, Herald. the hall clock just fell
and narrowly missed mother. Had it
struck her she would have been killed.
Herald (aloud)-You don't say so!
(Aside) I always did say that clock
was SLOW Indianapolis News.
Most desirable: 1T would be help
full to you," said the prison visitor, IF
you could take some motto, and try to
live up to it. '"Ehat's right" replied
the convict; "1'd like to select, for in
stance, we are here to-day and gone
Tomorrow "-Philadelphia Press.
The Rector's Daughter-My father
feels it very much, Mrs. Barker, that
you should leave the church every Sun
day just before the sermon. Don't you
think you might try and stay in future?
Mrs. Barker-1 dursn't do it, miss. l
do snore that dreadful when I'm asleep.
Punch.
How thoughtful: Mrs. Upton Flatte
-Noral, will you try to have the steak
little more rare, after this? The Cook
(bristling up)-Is it findin' fault wild me
cookin', yez are? Mrs. Upton Flatte-
On, no, no! John and thought you
might object to remaining over the fire
so long.-Puck.
Not prejudiced: Blanche-rm afraid,
Edward, you're marrying me only be-
cause I've inherited ten thousand
pounds from my uncle. Edward-Why,
Blanche, how can you think that Of me?
Your uncle is nothing to me! I would
marry you no matter from whom you
inherited the money!Tit-Bits.
Natural mirrors: The Lawyer-You
say that you were walking behind this
woman, could not distinguish her figure
because of the cape she wore, saw moth
ing Of her face, and yet knew that she
was very pretty woman. How do you
account for that? The Witness-Well,
| could see the faces Of the men COM
ing toward me.-Life.
Teacher-1f you face the north, d.
rectly behind you will be the south, on
your right hand will be the east, and
on your left hand west. Seeing lack
Of attention on the part Of Bobby, and
wishing to catch him: "What Is on
your left hand, Bobby" Bobby Gin
deep confusion)-Please, it's some tar,
an it wont come off.-Tit-Bits.
Willie had swallowed penny, and
his mother was in state of much
ovv,, SsIIo1ov, n1,o OIL tn hor cia.