davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
BRIGHT BITS.

-One-half of the world can't for the
life of it see how the other half man
ages to have such style on it's income
Chicago Record Herald.
Too Shrewd.-Old Gentleman
Throw away that vile cigar" Tene-
ment Jim-"Not much, mister; go an
find yer own butt!"-Ohio State Jour
nal.
-Hopeless.-Farmer Jones-"Is you
son still going tew the Art SCHOOL,"
Farmer Brown-"Nope; his instructor
said it want no use. Why arter he'd
bin thar three months, he didn't know
no more about art than one O. these
American millionaire are connysoors!"
Puck
-Ostentation.-'Ye said the wom-
an with sharp eyes, those people who
moved in next door are inclined to
wealth." 'In what way?" "They go
into the corner grocery and order
beefsteak in a loud tone of voice.
Washington Star.
Sound Philosophy.-Friend (from
the city)-"Why don't you move away
from this dead little town and get
dIlOllB p6OplS village MdSldl6-
Because l amount to something here.
1t is better to be a live man in a dead
town than a dead man in a live town."
Chicago Tribune.
1t is told of a learned professor,
who was better at Greek than golf,
that after a round on the links in
which he had fooled most of his shots,
he turned to his caddie for advice as
to improving his play The reply of
the ruthless caddie was: I'VE see, sir,
it's easy to teach laddies Latin and
Greek, but it needs a head for gowff.'
Tit Bits.
In the Near Future.-The Cook
"Ofm sorry, mum, but the walkin' dill
igate av tn Suprame Ordher av Cooks
how ordhered me t throw up me job"
Mrs. Subbub (tearfully)-"Oh, Norah!
What have / done?" The Cook-"Naw-
thin, mum; but yer foolish husbind
got shaved in non-u union barber-shop.
tn day before Yesterday. Brooklyn
Life.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
New York. Chicago.

According to these returns, the Chi
cago girl not only had a smaller foot
than her New York relative, but was a
perfect Venus in comparison. There
were the figures to prove it. Figures,
they say, cannot lie. Maybe that state
ment might be qualified, when the fig
ures were made up for and from the
chorus; but it is altogether likely that
the degree of verify was quite as great
respecting one set of figures as the
other, hence If even deductions were
made from each the result would be
the same.
This statement by Nine Barclay had
the effect of firing Chicago with enthu-
siasm. Not content with this victory,
she wished to make it more conclusive
and glorious. One of the leading Chi
of delicate little kid slippers,
Just trihe larger than the
standard No. 1. A." and invited all
of the actresses in town to try to put
them on. There were girls from New
York, Cincinnati, Boston, San Francis
co and Chicago in the theatrical COM
panies. Edna Wallace Hopper was
one of the contestants. and came out
among the also rams" Not one of
the New York girls could get more
than her toes into the slippers, and
not one of the whole galaxy of beauty
save only a Chicago girl of the name
of Marie Burnell could put the slip
pers on. That made her the Cinderel-
la of the host, of course, and she was
duly celebrated. Whether Chicago will
place Miss Burnells foot in gold on
the pinnacle Of the City Hall has not
yet been decided. Meanwhile the Chi
cago newspapers are printing columns
about the notable victory over New
York.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Washington Post Qnd.) says
1.-THE Philadelphia Press could not
pay Gen. De Wet a higher compliment
than to refer to him as a Boer Robert
Z. Lee. Robert E. Lee was a soldier
of whom every American may well
feel proud"
The Montgomery (AIa.) Advertiser
(Dem.) says: 1.-THE Indiana Demo-
Gratis adopted a platform which is
unanimously silent on the silver ques-
ton, thereby showing their apprecia-
ton of the dead condition of free COIN
age as a political issue"
The Albany IN. " Argus (Dem.)
says: Administration organs treat
the announced presidential aspirations
of United States Senator Mason as a
joke. Why SOP The Republican party
put Theodore Roosevelt in line for the
presidency, and some say that Mr.
Odell is a possibility. Senator Mason
whatever his faults. is ADLER and more
level-headed than either"
The Louisville (Ky) courier-Jour-
nal CDem) says: "rhe beet sugar
Republicans have clearly shown that
they are willing 10 destroy the Re
publican party rather than yield any
portion OF the tariff subsidy which
they enjoy through that party And
the beet sugar interest Is only one Of
many similar interests which enjoy
such subsidies and which would night
just a. desperately against surrender
ing any part 81 them"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
Personal.

Prof. Uphues. the German sculp-
tor, who has been chosen by the EN-
peror to make the statue of Frederick
the Great, which he will present to
the United States, expects to visit
America next spring.
Ambassador Andrew D. Whites
book, "A History of the Warfare of
Science With Theology" has been
translated into Italian. The ambassa-
dor will speak at the Fourth of July
celebration at Leipsic.
"A native born ST. Louisan has been
thrice appointed Governor of New
Mexico. Miguel Antonio Otero, the
man who rule sover the destinies of
that commonwealth, first saw the light
of day in the Mound City and received
his education at the old st. Louis
University.
H. H. Vreeland, the New York
street car magnate, was asked the
other day why he did not shave him
self every morning instead of wasting
time waiting for a barber. "Oh, 1
suppose l might do that" said Mr..
Vreeland, but then 1 might make a
failure of it. I'd hate to fail and then
it's so much easier not to fail"
David Crosby Foster, president Of
the Poughkeepsie, N. Y, Saving
Bank, is believed to be the oldest act
i've bank president in the country. He
has passed his ninety-third birthday,
but is at his desk every morning un-
less the weather is very bad, remain
ing until the bank closes at 3 o'clock.
He was first elected a director in 1856
and became president July 1, 1877.
Charles Burdett Hart, United
States minister to Colombia, who is
now enjoying vacation at home, de-
scribes himself as a reformed" news
paper man. The reform seems to be
only skin deep, as whenever he aban-
dons diplomacy he will resume writ
ing. He was for many years a Wash
ington correspondent and was after
ward editor of an important newspaper
in Wheeling, w. Va. He is an excel
lent Spanish scholar, and he has ac-
cumulated a wonderful library relat-
ing to the republic of Colombia.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
THE APOTHEOSIs OF THE CHICAGO
FOOT.

Chicago is up in the clouds. She
feels glorified, and is UNNECESSARILY
happy. For years and years New York
has been poking fun at her feet; has
been pointing to them as the largest
feminine feet in creation. So persist
emily has the joke been rubbed in that
Chicago for a long time feared to look
at her feet, lest the allegation prove
all too true. She has accepted the gibes
in the very best possible spirit, and
tried to imagine that large pedal ex
tremities were the best and most be-
coming, after all. In short, she made
a virtue of what appeared to be a ne
cessity.
But Chicago's retribution was en-
route. 1t got there, with both feet"
a few days ago; and, happily, from
Chicago's viewpoint, it arrived from
New York. 1t appears that a Nine.
Barclay, wardrobe woman for Days
Theater. New York, has been keeping
a record of the measurements of cho-
rus girls for the past twenty years. 1t
occurred to her to classify and tabu-
late her records and strike averages
Her statistics, full of interest, showed
results as between Chicago and New
York girls as follows:
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

Old Mrs. Hubbard, several years aft
er the poem appeared in print descriO-
ing her fruitless visit to the cupboard
in search of a bone for her poor dog,
was speaking of the incident to her
next-door neighbor, says the Chicago
Tribune.
"In the first place." she said, at
wasn't worth making a poem about,
and, in the next place, the man didn't
get it right. 1 saw the dog was hun
cry, and I went to the ice box and got
a nice piece of raw beef for him. /
don't feed my dog bones. And if /
did 1 wouldn't keep them in the cub
board. The cupboard wasn't bare,
either. 1t was just as well filed as
anybody's."
What do you suppose made the fell
low say you went to the cupboard? ''
asked the neighbor.
HE couldn't think of any other
rhynse for Hubbard" replied the aged
dame. lighting her pipe with a fresh
coal of fire.
These (puff) poets (puf. puff
make me tired"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

will increase in proportion as the field
of employment increases. Our business
men and real estate owners may say
that it is not a part of their business
to try to establish trade relations with
Porto Rico or any other part of the
world, but that would be a selfish and
short-sighted view. While they might
not receive an immediate. benefit the
city would be helped and the next gen.
Grafton would be benefited. If the peo-
pie of the present were not.
1t is the expectation that there will
be another convention in the near fu-
ture to discuss the adyisability of en-
couraging trade between South At
lantic states and Porto Rico. Savan-
nah should take warm interest in it.
Indeed she should not wait for a con-
vention. She should take up the ques-
ton on own account
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
Tragedy on shipboard.

Tipping on the ocean steamship
crossing the North Atlantic is mat
ter of course. Every human beifig
who ministers to passengers COM
fort expects to be tipped. All the
stewards-and by no chance is ones
bedroom steward also his servitor at
table-expect a tip. Then shillingS is
the conventional fee for each, except
the deck and smoking room stewards.
To each of these two and six is enough.
The surgeon too, If he has done any
thing for you, expects to be remem-
bered. passenger should, in his es-
innate of expenses of a trip to Europe,
add at least five pounds for tips each
way. These servants expect the tips,
indeed, they cannot live without them,
as their wages are next to nothing.
There would be no wages if it were
rot that in that case the steamship
companies could not enforce their con-
tracts for service. Once l was cross
ing, and just after leaving Queens
town my bedroom steward told me that
the steward of the next section had
jumped overheard and committed sui
eide. why did he do that?" l asked.
well, you see, sir, he had a hard
winter, and this was his first trip. He
hoped to make a good bit by it. At
Liverpool he had no passengers in his
section at all. He waited for Queens-
town. There he got lady and a Jew.
So he saw, sir, 1t wasn't no good, and
he up and killed himself" This, to be
sure, is a very bad system, but it seems
likely to last. 1t is like advertising
on the Sound boats-fare to Boston
one dollar When you get on the boat
you learn that you have bought stand
ing-room only. Everything else has to
be paid for as an extra.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
TRADE WITH PORTO RICO.

1t does not seem to US that the West
Indian Trade Convention that was held
in Charleston, May 1911, received as
much attention from the business men
of this city as its Importance war
ranted. AT that convention particular
attention was paid to the question of
trade with our new possession, Porto
Rico. One of the addresses was by
Gen. w. w. Gordon of this city. He
furnished some interesting statistics
showing the volume Of the Porto Rican
trade and it's value to the South At
lantic states.
Savannah is more advantageously
situated for trade with Porto Rico
than any other American city of i'm
portance. San Juan, the capital of
Porto Rico, is 500 miles nearer Savan-
nah than New York, and 800 miles
nearer Savannah than New Orleans.
But, it might be asked, what assur-
ance is there that Savannah, If she
made the effort, could build up a pay
ing trade with Porto Rico? If New
York and New Orleans, although much
further away, can carry on profitable
trade with the island there is no rea-
son why Savannah cannot. AS a
matter of fact Savannah has quite a
trade with Porto Rico now. Some of
her merchants send cargoes there
every once in while in barges charted
for the purpose.
The fact that Porto Rico has a buy
ing power of S27, 900, 900 a year should
not be overlooked. 1t is true she hasn't
many products for export, but the
things she has we want. She has cof-
fee sugar, fruits and tobacco. And she
would take many things with which
she could be supplied through this port
as cheaply as through any other port.
of them at less cost through Savannah.
| For instance. Porto Rico would be a
| good customer for our rice. She would
take cotton goods from the mills of
| this state. She would take agricultural
| implements, machinery and tools which
! are just beginning to be manufactured
at Birmingham.
And we would take Porto Rlcan
! fruits and Porto Rico would take our
| fruits. Kansas City would send pro-
visions by way OF this port and flour
would come from Kansas and Missouri.
There would not be wanting freights II
! there were a line Of steamers between
Savannah and Porto Rico
This matter OF trade with Porto Rico
IS one 10 which our business men ought
10 give attention. Our population r.
growing and We must have something
for the people 20 90. Our population
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

Representative Foss of Illinois has
introduced in the House a bill author
izing the President to nominate Capt
Charles Clark to the rank OF rear adj
miral of the senior grade on the ac-
tive list. The bill ought to go through
both houses unanimously. Capt. Clark
is the, man who brought the Oregon
from the Pacific around Cape Horn at
racing speed and reached Jupiter Light
with not joint leaking and not bolt
strained, and who then took his mag
nificent craft into the battle of Santi-
ago, where she distanced and out
fought everything except the fleet
Brooklyn in the chase of the Span
iards and covered herself and her
commander with new glory. Notwith-
standing his brilliant achievements,
Capt. Clark has not been promoted or
received any acknowledgements, while
others who did less have been given
high rank and desirable assignments
1t would please the whole country to
see Capt. Clark a rear admiral of the
senior grade.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
THE MORNING NEWS is publiLhed

THE MORNING NEWS is publiLhed
every day in the year, and served to
subscribers in the city. or sent by mail.
az 70 cents a month. $500 for six
months. and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue).
three months. S1.50; six months, $500;
one year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (AIonday and Thursday, by mail,
one year. S1.00.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent BY mail
al risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column. local or reading no.
tees, amusements and cheap or want
column, 10 cents a line. Fourteen lines
Of agate type-equal to one inch in
depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 21O. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. c. Faulkner, Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
DEVELOPMENTS.

Teachers often find the developing
process discouraging, says Judge. A
young minister, seeking to impress
the beauties of nature upon his class
of East Side boys, had been describing
the gradual unfolding of the spring
time. Pausing impressively at the end
of his speech, he asked:
Nov, tell me, boys, in your own
language what comes in the spring."
1.-The rent man." quavered a pa
thetic little treble.
Again the developers enthusiasm
was chilled when urging upon his pu-
pills the importance of attendance
upon the Friday evening exercises.
Remember, children" said the pas
tor, "our church is open on Friday as
we'll as on Sunday. On the Sabbath
day we have the regular morning and
evening services. Now"-with a
blandly expectant look-'what do we
have on Friday"
Fresh fish, sir" answered the boys.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

The cheerful idiot who didn't have
the price, says the New York Tele-
gram, clinked glasses with the pros
porous citizen who did as they stood
in a Herald Square emporium, and
then launched this:
why am 1 like Mont Pelee?"
Because you're shaky," ventured
the prosperous citizen.
Wrong again; it's because"
You're always dry at the mouth
and breathe discomfort and disaster
to those around you"
Nope. It's because"
You have red eruption, caused
by inward fire"
Say, are you telling this story or
me. It's because"
1.-THE survivors near you need imme-
date relief
Don't be facetious. It's because
Mont Pelee is likely to blow off at
any old time. Yes, I'll take another.
Put in a dash of lemon this time
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
% PAGES.
INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

cred Heart Church at Tybee, July s;
at Tybee, June II; Attention. Union
Transfer Company; Grand Picnic, A
o. H. and Ladies Auxiliary at Tybee
June "a; Electric Sewing Machine Mo-
tor, Savannah Electric Company; No
tice 20 City Court Jurors; Terms
Moderate, Cornwell e Chapman; Fine
Candy Jerry George; Headquarters,
James j. Joyce; knights Pharmacy;
Bill of Fare; Union Station Restau-
rant; We viii Slaughter Groceries
Next Week, John T. Evans & Co.
Business Notices-Red Cross Laun-
dry; Electric Supply Company.
Continuation of the Great Sacrifice
Sale-Daniel Hogan.
The Best We Can Do-At Collat's.
The Best Way to Spend $3.00-Globe
Shoe Company.
Fishing Tackle, Etc.-Edward Low
ellis Sons.
A Nickel Harvest-Mills Novelty
Company.
Whiskeys-Yellow Label Whiskey;
Murray Hill Club Whiskey.
Real Estate-Rivers & Gibbes.
Auction Sale-Monday's Auction
Sale, by C. H. Dorsett, Auctioneer.
The Tribune Chainless-R. V. Con-
nerat.
Something New-John Derst.
Educational - Woodbury. Forest
School, Orange. Va; Culver Summer
Naval School, Lake Maxinkuckee.
Great Alteration Sale--At Gutman's.
It's Now or Never-Foye & Eek
stein.
The Gas Range-Mutual Gas Light
Company.
Just to Let You see-B. H. Levy &
Bro. 'DEs
The Great Mil End sale-Leopold
Adler.
The Patrician Shoe for Women
Leopold Adler.
Paste-Stearns' Electric Paste.
Eclipse Shoes-Byck Bros.
Saving on Every Dollars Worth
AT Jackson's.
Money to Loan-Chatham Real Es-
tate ana improvement 70.
A Special Drive-Chas. Marks.
Legal Notice-Neptune Towing Com
pany VS.. Bark Sylvia, Cause of Tow
age.
Stock Taking Sale--At Eckstein's.
Summer observation-disclosures Isle
of Hope, Thunderbolt; Long Island.
Sunday Schedule-Savannah Electric
Company.
The Prices We Quote In Mems and
Boys Clothing-LeopoldA Adler.
Muslin Underwear-B. H. Levy &
Bro.
June 15-Get 1t At Rowlinsk's.
Extensive Alterations-Thos West &
Co.
The Timer" Man Is Considerable.
H. Levy & Bro.
Mocking Bird Cages-S. Bernstein.
Important News-Sig. Gardner, Man
ager, No. 1oS Whitaker street.
Why Not Build Your Home Chat
ham Real Estate and Improvement
Co.
Laundry-E. & w. Laundry.
Pushing--Wm. & H. H. baltimore.
The Oldsmobile and Columbia BIZ
cycles-T. A. Bryson, Columbia, Agent.
June Records-The Ray Co.
Red Seal Shoes. Is. Orr Shoe Com
pany.
Medical-AIrs. Summers, Worlds
Dispensary Preparations; Kodol Dys-
pepsia Cure; Lightning Medicine Com
panys Preparations: DIR. David Kenne-
dy's Favorite Remedies; S. S. S.; Moth
er's Friend
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel clip
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
separating TWO Jacks.

A New York city magistrate recently
had before him the case of a pair of
confidence men accused of robbing a
farmer on a visit to the metropolis,
says the New York Times. The mag
istrate asked them as to their side of
the story.
"Well, Judge" explained one. 1--WE
simply offered to bet him $500 that we
could take a deck of cards, shuttle them
so he could see us, and make two jacks
come out together. He lost. That
was all, judge"
whats your name?" the magistrate
asked the spokesman.
Jack O'Brien, Judge"
and yours ?"-turning to the other
prisoner.
Jack Devine, your honor"
90 Brien," said the magistrate, 81
give you four years; Devine, give you
three years. And now gentlemen, I'll
Just bet $500 that you two Jacks do not
come out togetherl"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

Readers of the Sunday Morning
News will be interested and pleased
10 know that Mr. Dooley" win be
with them again, TO amuse and in
struct. next Sunday. He has been
taking a vacation in Europe. building
up his health and gathering new ideas
70 be discussed with his inimitable phil
osophy. with restored health, II IL rea-
sonable 20 assume that his wit and
humor viii be as sparkling and re-
,Ei{eshins as 10 the past.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
HAYWOOD WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS.

Altitude 1850 feet. Finest Mountain Resort
in the South. Highest railroad town east OF
the Rocky Mountains. 754 feet higher altitude
than Asheville N. G. The climate during ths
summer months is the most delightful IN
America. The air is light and invigora1lns'
The nights during the warmer weather are
cool and bracing. For rates and informs
ton. write JAMES M CoPELIN, Prop
wavnesvilIe N C.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

The affairs of the late Charleston
Exposition have been placed in the
hands Of receivers. No figures have
been given out by the management,
but it is understood that claims
against the exposition and the losses
sustained will aggregate about $3.50, OOO
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

Like all other United States sena-
tors. Mr. Dietrich OF Nebraska has a
great many engagements but being a
trihe. forgetful about such things he
has adopted an emphatic method Of
reminding himself lie carries with
him a small alarm clock. II he has
an engagement say al o'clock. the
alarm goes on ten minutes before that
time. Then he sets IL for his next APP
pointment, and 10 on through the day
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
PINE MOUNTAIN SPRINGS.

Refreshing and invigorating patnS
Or pure medicinal waters. Springs OF
chalybeate and sulphur waters An
ideal place for recreation and pleasure
For descriptive pamphlet write
]. M. HEAD, M. D.,
Lifsey, Ga.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
MILLER'S HOTEL.

S7to Al w. Goth street, New York city
In the heart Of the city, near the big stoI ss
theaters and churches Nice single and douot w
rooms; electric elevator; Turkish, Elec s,S
Roman and other baths; excellent t spio.
Health foods. quiet, hoDIelike place io 10 10
dies or fam lies Single rooms y 20 SzoV Sl pv.
day. double rooms for two 81 TO s. per ! uss 4,
rooms without board 81 to g per aa yyt,1r AGSS
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
The weather.

The indications for Georgia to-day
are rain, brisk to hight east winds on
the coast: and for Eastern Florida,
showers, except fair weather in ex-
IRENE southern portion: fresh to brisk
southerly winds.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15

The president OF Vassar College says
marriage f. becoming unbelievable
because 80 few people think they can
afford a. The Chicago Record Herald
regards that as another slap 81 the
panama hat
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
ROANOKE RED SULPHUR SPRINGS,
VIA SALEM, VA.

VIA SALEM, VA
Opens June 1st. Elevation 1900 feet,
Free from malaria Sulphur. Chalyb-
cate and Freestone waters. Ballroom
and music. Residence physician. Terms
reasonable. Write for description
pamphlet. ]. H. CHAPMAN, Mgr
The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-15
MOUNTAIN TOP

An Historic Virginia Resort on the Besutl.
full Blue Ridge Mountains, Overlooking
Piedmont and Shenandoah Valleys
Elevation 900 feet. Cool breezes Fine water.
No mosquitoes. Reasonable rates. Convenient
to railroads, Address
MASSIE & co, Alton, We.