davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
The Butler Earl.

In old days. when kings received per-
sonal service from their most trusted
mobiles. simple offices were created.
such as eup-bearer. chamberlain, but.
Ter. which have descended as titles Of
high rank. In a more complex world
the service has been lost sight OF. and
only the outer circumstance and dig
nifty OF the office remain. For instance,
the Duke of Norfolk. earl marshal Of
England, is hereditary chief butler OF
the realm.
A story Of his youth. told In the New
York Times, brings into curious rela-
tion the real rank of the man and his
theoretic function.
When he was young man he was
reticent, and at evening receptions used
to paste himself fiat against the wall
and say nothing. On one occasion a
sprightly couple came by him, chatter
ing and wrapped up In themselves.
Il wish you'd bring an ice here" said
the man TO the silent black and white
figure against the wall.
The upright young man obeyed. As
he came back with the refreshments the
lady noticed the ungloyed hand that
reached her the glass.
II don't believe that man is a ser
want" she whispered. "Ask some
body"
Meanwhile the duke had met a
friend. and with grim humor had told
his experience. The man who had
made the mistake was introduced to
the duke, who said:
well, l congratulate you. You had
penetration to detect the hereditary
chief butler Of England when he was
in plain evening dress. There isn't
much difference between a chief butler
and a head waiter, you know"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
The Trade of PaIestine.

The account of the trade Of Palestine
during the year 1900. given In the cou-
sular report recently issued, is fairly
hopeful, though neither the exports
nor the imports reach the level at
tanned in 1889. The prosperity of the
country depends still. as it always has
done, and most probably always will
do. upon the fruits of the earth. Cen
turies before the present era, corn and
wine and oil were among the chief
boons of the promised land" and
though we hear little now of the first,
the other two are regaining their an-
cient reputation. To melons, which
also were valued in ancient days, Il
new fruit has been added-the orange.
This, indeed. and the grape, are now
the most important products of PaleS-
tine, though the exports of the former
have declined considerably in value
the last few years. Jaffa oranges.
however, maintain their reputation, SO
that it may be hoped that the depres
sion is only temporary. Southern Pal
estine has always been noted for It's
vineyards; it was Judah who bound
his foal to the vine and washed his
clothes in the blood of the grapes.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
nrsnEMoNA,s EEEr.
rhey Quite Droke Up the Scene for
Rider Saivini.

Rider Satvtuts
From the sublime to the ridiculous Is
but step, aud In an anecdote recently
related hy Clara Morris. the feet which
took that step are very conspicuous.
IL was when Tommaso Salvlnl was In
this country, The play Of the evening
was ''othello." aud the scene OF pesde-
mona's death had been reached.
Already the raging Moor had slain
his innocent victim, aud disturbed by
Elnllla.s knock, had let fall the cur
talns before the couch on which The
body Law, The draperles provided, al
though rich and heavy, did not come to
the door. They missed Il by space
Of at least a foot, aud this the deceased
nesdemona unfortunately failed to
observe.
The audience. which had been held
tense aud hreathless under the tragic
spell OF the great actor suddenly ut
tered a curious, long.drawn breath oe
amaxement. followed by a bobblng OF
many heads, universal cranlng OF
necks. and then, to poor Salvinfs be-
wilderment and dlsmay, by burst OF
downright laughter. He could perceive
nothing amlsS, aud there was nothing
Tor him to do but to Ignore the laugh
ter and proceed with the scene. But no
wonder the people laughedl
The murdered Desdomona had risen
and was evidently sitting on the side
OF the couch, for beneath the curtains
her dangling feet were plainly seen.
kicking cheertully back and forth.
Such utterly unconscious feet they
were that the audience might not have
laughed again had they kept stili; but
all at once they began a heel-and-toe
step, and people rocked back and forth
trying to suppress their merrlment.
And then swiftly the toe OF the right
foot went to the back of the left ankle
and scratched vigorously.
Restraint was ended; every one act
go and laughed and laughed. From the
box one could see in the entrance the
outspread fingers, the holsted shoul-
ders, the despalringly shaken heads OF
the Italian actors, who could find no
cause for the uproar.
Salvlnl behaved perfectly In that dis
turbed and distressed. he showed no
sign OF anger. but maintained his dig
nifty through II all, even when, In draw
ing the curtains and disclosing BESIDE
mona dead once more. the ineompre-
hensible laughter again broke out.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Intelligent snuIrrela.


A party of young people, who In last
summers holiday journeyed through
the country gypsy-llke In a caravan.
witnessed in a grove near glen the
following incident, which seems to
show friendly understanding among
squirrels:
An al fresco dinner had just been
finished and the party were still sitting
at the table, when red squirrel, with
glistening, eager eyes, came creeping
down a tree which stood near the ta-
BILE. He crept nearer and nearer. and
finally leaped upon the table.
The lady who was presiding said:
"Yes, help yourself to anything you
wantw
Upon this invitation the little fellow
made bold to creep up to a loaf Of
bread from which only slice or two
had been cut. He seized 1t and
dragged It to the side of the table, and
somehow managed to scramble down
the side with it to the ground. He
then fixed his teeth in the crust, and
dragged 1t away and down the steep
sides of the glen.
But when he reached the bottom and
confronted the rise on the other side,
It was too much for him. Then he gave
a sort of call, which seemed to be un'
derstood. for soon squirrels were seen
coming from several directions. They
crowded round him, and after little
conference all took hold, and with q
tug and strain they managed to bring
the loaf to the top of the hill. Then
they disappeared with 1t in the woods
beyond. Herald.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Pleased with His Joke.

Indignant householder Ito the collec-
tor of gas bills)-How is 1t that my gas
bills get higher and higher every quar-
ter when | am sure that we burn no
more gas than we did formerly?
Collector (meekly and deprecatine)-
l am sure, sir, do not know, unless
something is the matter with the
meter.
Indignant householder (satirically)-
Something the matter with the meter,
eh? Oh. yes; / suppose the meter has
the gastrick fever! y.
And the old man was so pleased with
his Joke that he cheerfully paid the
bill.-London Tit-Bits.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Is the Lion Intelligent?

After prolonged experiment, NJ.
Hachet-SOuplet has reached the con-
clusiOn that there can be no doubt that
the lion Is the possess0r Of reasoning
faculties. OF course this conclusion
is based on observation, not on hypo-
thesis. Among the experiments was
one which took place at the Museum of
Natural History, within stone-thr0w
of the statue of Chevreul, the scientist
centenarian. A lion was presented un-
aware with q closed box containing an
appetiZing piece of meat. The point
to determine was whether the animal
would be smart enough to discover the
secret, open the box and secure the
coveted mors6i through means OF bis
own. The king of animals did not dis
appoint the scientist who had faith in
his Judgment. After hesitating a little,
the lion raised the lid of the box with
his nose, and although he went at it at
first in the wrong way, he deliberately
put the box in the proper position, ex-
actIy as a man would have done. 1t
took him exactly three minutes, and
a written report of the occurrence was
signed by the witnesses.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
JUST AS GOOD.
Backwoods Merchant Who Always Had
What a Customer Wanted.

Backwoods Merchant Who Always Had
What Customer Wanted.
Abel Judkins kept the corner store in
Centeryille, and it was his boast that
no man who patronized him need lack
for anything he wanted, provided he
had the wherewithal to pay.
Occasionally some unreasonable per.
son would ask for commodity not In
cluded in Abel's list; but if he did so,
he was either provided with some
thing which Mr.. Judkins assured him
was better than the article he had de-
sired, and served exactly the same
purpose, or he was made to feel that
it was, for some dark and mysterious
reason, no longer carried by any
progressive and self-respecting shop.
When a carping summer resident,
whose pair of ancient bellows, bought
at an auction sale, had collapsed be-
yond repair, expressed surprise that no
bellows were to be had of Mr.. Judkins,
the Centerville storekeeper turned upon
her with lofty smile.
Folks here, ma'am," he said, cold
ly, don't hold with getting so took
up with old ideas, or being so narrow,
as some of those that summer with US
from below. The advances of civili-
zation are priced here in this town,
the air-tights with drafts are more
thought of than old chimbly fireplaces
that require constant feeding and have
to be blowed on to keep 'em a-going."
He glanced at the summer resident,
but could discover no special signs of
weakening or humility in her face.
With briskness which always marked
his mercantile proceedings, he changed
in twinkling from the advocate OF
progress to the upholder of primitive
methods.
But folks will be folks, ma'am," he
said, indulgently, "and if you like ar
open glow l don't know what's to hin
der. And better than any bellows thai
ever were made, ma'am, is an onion
stalk. can fit you out complete will
three stout ones at this present, anC
when you've blowed them out O. use
fulness. all you've got to do Is to com,
to Abel Judkins and get some more.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

nurse who was In attendance. "what
she really needs Is change but she is
too weak in her present condition to
travel. am going to try an experiment
which win do no harm and may do
good.
II want you to let me have another
bedroom for her, and arrange It quite
differently from the way It Is now.
Hang up new chintx curtains and put
furniture in It she Is not familiar with.
A room with fireplace, lf possible.
Light bright little wood DIRE. and buy
her pretty new dressing gown. We
will give her a radical change in her
own house and see what that win do. 1"
A couple OF days afterward the Girl
was told that she was so much better
that she was going to be moved into
another room, and, despite her reluct-
ance. the change was made,
The next day she showed languid
pleasure at her pretty and novel sur
roundings, her diet was altered, and
she gradually acquired an appetite. In
pretty new dressing jacket she re-
ceived the compliments OF the doctor
and nurse with complacency. and from
that time on began to convalesce rap
idly.
IAN going to prove" said the doctor,
that absolute change is often an es-
sential toward recovery, and that the
required stimulus may be given. IL nee.
essary, at home"
Even to those who are in health the
benefits OF u home change should not
be underrated. says the New York Trib-
une. Il like to get \ new cook because
il is the only way we get different
food" said a young married woman;
but the more experienced housekeeper
appreciates the imperative hygienlc
value OF change, and varies the family
diet accordingly.
Every woman has experienced the
mental and even moral stimulus of Il
new gown always provided 1t has been
paid forl. but not every one recognizes
the fact that it is the same with don't.
ciliary surroundings, and that to occa-
s!onally make different arrangement
OF furniture Is good thing, while
small novelties in the way Of new books
and periodicals, change OF dress. and
particularly the menu, all so TO bright
en- the home atmosphere and give a
tired man the change he really requires.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
A Mean RsstrietIon

ooh, myp' exclaimed the young
wife, reading over the insurance policy
on her husbands life in her favor,
"this insurance company is just hate
full"
"why, what's the matter2" asked her
husband.
"Why, II you commit suicide they
won't pay any money at ll."-Phila-
delphia Press
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Pu. IiIs Fssl On Il

"Did-did your wife ever bake
chocolate cake9" asked Nuwed, eau.
tionsly.
Loads OF EN-" replied oldwed,
proudly; "why9"
"well, my wife baked her first one
yesterday and placed II out on the
porch TO cool. l came along and
thought the dern thing was a hassock. "
Ohio State Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
OArARRH CANNOT BIZ CURED

With local applications, as they cannot reach
the seat of the disease. Catarrh is blood or
constitutional disease, and in order to cure it
you must take internal remedies. Halls Ca
terrh Cure is taken internally, and ctsdireetfy
on the blood and mucous surfaces. Halls Ca
tarrh Cure is not qusck medicine. 1t was
prescribed by one OF the best physicians in this
country for years, and is regular prescription.
1t is composed OF the best tonics known, COM
bined with the best blood purifiers, acting di-
rectly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect
combination Of the two ingredients is what pro-
duces such wonderful results in curing catsrrh.
Send for testimonials, free.
FL. CHENEY & CO., Proprs., Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Composike.

Observation-Disclosures seems to be a
fellow of extremes--one who writes
awful slush and sublime prose, and who
is at the same time an idiot and a
genius.
Cleverton-Where did you get such
an idea?
Dashaway-I've just been reading
the reviews of his latest book.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
rAlna, !. nIli,r,nl 3 Rn,lnn.

Says the Boalon Globe; "In taking
her out sleigh riding, young man. Be
careful OF that vaccinAted arm"
That advice may do for Boston young
men, but cut here sensible youth
would rather forego the minor pleasure
Of the ride than be handicapped In that
provoking manner. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Exkfavaaank

Mr.. Fijiit--I understand the deacons
are going to cut our pastors salary;
they don't think that an extravagant
salary harmoniEes with the ethics Of
Christianity.
Mrs. FIjit-How much Is he getting,
Mr.. Fijiit-seven hundred a year.
Ohio State Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
A Southern Poet

"Here, Marie! Send up peck or
two Of corn dodgers an hunk o. meat
to Joseph"
''Lan' sakes! Why can't he come
to table?''
"Kase he's locked himself in his
room, an is expressin' of himself in
poetry"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

gerous, nervous trouble. Those hoe
flashes are just 30 many calls from
nature for help. The nerves are cry.
ing out for assistance. The cry should
be needed In time. Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound was pre-
pared 10 meet the needs Of woman's
system at this trying period Of her life.
1t builds up the weakened nervous
system, and enables woman 70 paaS
that grand change triamphantly.
~ was q very sick woman, caused
by Change Of Life. I suffered with hot
fiuGhes, and fainting spells. waa
afraid TO 60 on the street, my head and
back troubled me 80. was entirely
cured by Lydia 4. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound. w. MRs. JIMMIE NoBxM.
s010 Keyser St., Germantown. Pa
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
A Rsprobats.

'sAren't You ashamed to go away
and leave your wife in tears?" asked
the near relative.
t'0h, don't know" answered the
brutal man, that's The way she has a
good time when she goes to the
theater. Washington Star.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
No Affirmative.

"You admit that you are tramp, do
your" said the eminent counsel 10 the
witness.
Eyes, sir"
"Tell this jury, sir, why you lead
such worse than useless life."
"The explanation Is simple. ! am
too proud to work and too honest TO
become lawyer. detroit Free Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Small Population.

Norway's population is the smallest
in Europe, compared with her area.
Each Of her inhabitants could have
forty acres Of land, while the Brlton
would have to be content with less
than an acre.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

He looked despairingly into vacancy.
~ have had my misgivings," he said
in dull and passionless voice, 'but
now | am sure. Your laugh shows me
you are utterly heartless.
She uined pale.
"Heavensl" she cried in terror. "did
open my mouth as wide as that2"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Fertility of Egypt's Soil.

The fertility of Egypt's soil is illus
trated by fact that every one of TO-.
500 square miles can support 92S per.
sons, whereas even in densely popu.
lated Belgium there are only $50 to the
square mile.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

Il the most important period In . wo.
mans existence. Owing 10 modern
methods OF living, not one woman In
q thousand approaches this perfectly
natural change without experiencing
train Of very annoying and aome.
times painful symptoms.
Those dreadful hot flashes, sending
the blood surging TO the heart until II
seems ready TO burst, and the faint
feeling that follows, sometimes with
chills, as II the heart were going 10
stop for good, are symptoms OF dan
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Defined.

"Paw, here's something in the paper
about 'junket.' What is a iunket?"
"a iunket, my boy, is an excursion
at public expense to which you are not
invited. Chicago Tribune.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Qualified.

"Are you married or unmarried2"
asked the theatrical manager of an ap-
plicant for engagement.
"Unmarried," replied she. "Pve
been unmarried four times. detroit
Free Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Russians in Kansas.

There are 1900 Russians in Kansas,
a thousand heads of families who do
little beyond raising wheat. They vote
in elections as one man, and attend
strictly to their own business.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
CHANGE SECURED AT HOME.
Value of New Surroundings for al
Invalid Shown,

VuHuO UA 4NcW ouIIOuHuIMR9 Tor an
Invalid Shown.
The doctor looked at his young pa
tient with rather a dissatisfied air
why do you not get well?' he asked
her, somewhat impatiently. "Your fe-
yer left you long ago, and you have no
organic trouble, and yet you stay just
in the same state day after day. You
will hurt my reputation if you keep on
in this way" he added, jokingly; but
on leaving the room he spoke more seri-
ously.
"She must be reused in some way"
he said to her mother and the trained
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

Mothers viii find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth'
ing Syrup the best remedy to use tor theil
children during the teething period.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Snap,Shot Oplnlon.

Ned Clara says you are perfect
gentleman.
Fred-Why, she doesn't know me.
Ned-That's what | told her.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
His Lat XlslL

$50 you met frost when you called
around?" said Tom. 'Did you feel
chilly2"
"Not at all, responded Dick. "Her
father made it warm enough for me-"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
No Doubt About II.

bridget, what did you say to Miss
Smith when she called?"
81 tould her you we're out this tonne
for sure ma am. n-Harper's Bazaar.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Too lndisestibls.

"Hear Bromley is dead?"
stNo; what was the trouble?"
"Spllnter of wood in his stomach"
"How in the world did that happen?"
Eating club sandwiches. New
York Times.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Ladies' Can Wear Shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot Ease,
a powder. 1t makes tight or new shoes easy.
Cures swollen, hot, sweatin aching feet, IN
growing nails, corns and bunlons. All drug
gists and shoe stores. 25c. Trial package FREE
by mail. Address Allen 8. Qlmsteds Le Roy,
New York.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Hoods C0rS0p0riLId
and Pi[Ls
n aLlehter Mood.

She: ono man has ever kissed me. !"
He: 81 wouldn't boast of my un-
popularity if l were you. ."-Philadel-
phia Record.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever
used for all affections of the throat and
lungs.-WN. o. ENDsLKY, Vanburen, Ind.
Feb. 10, 1900.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

Why suffer yourself, or let others, when
relief may be had at once by using
Hamlin's Wizard Oil.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

A word to the wise is often suffi-
cient to get a fool into trouble.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

Honestly now, If you were in the 9th.
er fellows shoes, could you do any bet.
ter2
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
BAD BLOOD,
BAD COMPLEXION.

The skin is the seat Of an almost end
less variety of diseases. They are known
by various names, but are all due to the
same cause, acid and other poisons in
the blood that irritate and interfere with
the proper action of the skin.
To have a smooth, soft skin, free from
all eruptions, the blood must be kept pure
and healthy. The many preparations of
arsenic and potash and the large number
Of face powders and lotions generally
used in this class of diseases cover up
for q short time, but cannot remove per-
manently the ugly blotches and the red,
dishguring pimples.
Eternal vigilance % fIs0 sss'SO0
0f . beautiful complexion
when such remedies are relied on.
Mr.. H. r. Shobe, s7o4 Lucas Avenue. St. Louis,
no, says: my daughter was afflicted for years
with dis6guring eruption on her face, which
Eesisted all treatment. She was taken to two
celebrated health springs but received no bene-
Gf. Many medicines were prescribed, but with
out result until we decided TO try g. 8. s., and by
the time the FIRST bottle as finished the eruption
completely and left her skin perfectly smooth:
She is now seventeen years old, and not sign OF
the embarrassing disease has ever returned"
S. s. S. is a positive, unfailing cure for
the worst forms of skin troubles. It is
the greatest Of all blood purifiers, and the
only one guaranteed purely vegetable.
Bad blood makes bad complexions.
a MM - puri6es and invigo.
OWNR% rates the old and
makes new, rich blood
AAA - that nourishes the
~~ body and keeps the
akin active and healthy and in proper
condition to perform its part toward:
carrying off the impurities from the body
If you have Eczema, Tetter, Acne, Sal
Rheum, Psoriasis, or your skin is rough
and pimply, send for our book on Bloot
and Skin Diseases and write our physi
clans about your case. No charge what
ever for this service.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

Mrs, Crimsonboak--I 500 by this
wireless telegraphy. while at sea, one
ship can communicate with another.
Mr.. Crlmsonbeak-one ship can talk
back 10 anothorf
"Yes.n
"Well, that's an additional reason
why they should be called sister ships
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27
Observation-Disclosures
.n6zF0N 2l0d0H H17E7Z7

TESTED AND True GUARAMTEEDS
ROwE ~ fbe TIHs0 10 USE ~. 3
hAA%~HHAH~A~AA~AAA~A~AA%AS
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

AS people lose innocence they find
experience.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-03-27

purihes and invigo-
rates the old and
1nakes new, rich blood
that nourishes the
body and keeps the