davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Cleveland (O.) Plain Dealer
(Dem.) says: Massachusetts not only
solaces the far-away heather with
rum, but just now she is shipping him
immense quantities of cheap jewelry.
In other words, the old Bay State can
be highly recommended as both an in
terror and exterior decorator
The Norfolk (Va.) Landmark Dem.)
says; Rebates on extortion' are
what Mr. Rockefeller's gifts to educa-
ton might be termed without Injustice,
seeing that the gentleman is the larg-
est individual holder of Standard Oil
stock. What credit does A deserve for
giving x, Y and q a percentage of the
increase above legitimate profits which
A compels all the rest of the alphabet
to pay for a necessity?"
The Springfield (Mass.) Republican
(Ind) says: THE cougressman's side
of the case deserves attention. If the
House or the Senate passes TIA private
pension bills in thirty-nine minutes, or
one in every twelve seconds, the rea-
son is that the House or the Senate
has confidence that each bill has been
carefully investigated by it's pensions
committee, and that the committee's
illuOfSctlSnl 10 as SOOQ BViu. 1T may
be agreed by the critics of lightning
express pension legislation that each of
these private claims cannot be studied
up by every member; but why doesn't
Congress relieve itself entirely of such
business by creating a private claims
court-if the pension office cannot do
exact justice-and making its decisions
final? 1t Is hard 10 make people be-
lieve that the present system is much
removed from a combined pinch on the
treasury by all the members OF Con-
gress. You vote for my constituent
and I'll vote for yours. Isn't that
what il amounts to?"
The Philadelphia Record (Dem.)
says; Canada offers the United States
"A working example of a really elastic
currency. From May. 1901. 10 October.
1901, the bank circulation expanded rs
per cent; from October. 1901, 10 May,
1902 IL contracted II per cent, from
May 90 October this year IL EXPENDED
80 per cent II Is ali automatic. The
Minister Of Finance does not have 20
come 10 the rescue 81 the money mar
ket There ~ not a monetary sfFin-
fehcy vcnEing CA panic ~ regularly
az the wheat r. harvested and market
- The canadian banks can Issue
notes based upon their credit 10 80
amount NOT exceeding their pald-iu
rapiiaft D mHximum which has nov
bcen nearly reached when ths noffs
nff noi neeaed ana banks have ~ re-
deem thena."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
bright BITS.
THE way of the transgressor is t.

THE way of the transgressor is to
engage good lawyer Puck.
-Maud-"So Jack is engaged, is he?
And is Lucy the BRIDE o-be?" Irene
mo; she's the tried-to be. Chicago
Tribune.
-She-"Why don't you go out occa-
sionally, dearest, and enjoy yourself,
say at the club?" He-"But / don't
want to get into the habit of having a
good time. Life
Bjinks-"What did Wisekus do to
deserve this monument, old man?'
Tkinks-"Ie invented asbestos whisk-
ers for amateur Santa es."-Chi-
cago Daily News.
How does he rank as a play
wright" 'Well, you can't say that he
has really acquired fame yet" But
he's on the road to it?" "Oh, yes.
He'll reach a point where he can af-
ford to plagiarize shortly. "-Chicag go
Evening Post.
Did you hear about that member
of the Legislature who wants to 6ass
a law requiring a physicians certifi-
cate before people can kiss?" said
Maud. Yes" answered Mamie; II
think it's time they made a man pro-
duce proof that he is sane before they
let him into the Legislature. Wash
ington Star.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
4 New Carnegie story.

A new and interesting story is being
told of Andrew Carnegie, says London
Tit Bits. He was walking along a
country road not far from Skibo Cas-
tie when he came across an old cot
tager busily engaged in putting a
thatch roof on his cottage. He asked
the man why he did not put on a
tiled roof and was told that it was
too expensive.
How much?" he CURLY asked.
Fifty pounds" the man replied, and
to his intense amazement and JOY
Mr.. Carnegie there and then wrote him
out check for that amount. Going
indoors, he told his wife the news.
Mon" she said scornfully, why
dinna ye say Els? Go an tell him We
made a mistake"
The cottager journeyed UP to the
castle and was shown into Mr.. Car
negie's study. He explained that he
had been wrong about the cost. saying
ii would be f25 more. The millionaire
philanthropist asked for the check
back, coo1ly tore it to pieces. and the
dismayed and disconsolate cottager was
promptly shown the door.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
Took "a Mean Advantage.

For half an hour yesterday after
noon, says the Chicago Record Herald,
a big, husky farmer, with his left arm
in sling, paced the Great Northern
lobby. Occasionally he forgot and car
ried his umbrella in the hand of the
injured" arm. 1t was evident the
sling was a delusion and a snare.
whats your gamer" queried a
chewing gum drummer who had a
sense of the curious.
'Ill put you next if you will promise
not to TELL" said the farmer, who by
this time was becoming excited. The
promise was given.
I've been corresponding with girl
from Brown county, Indiana. Met her
through matrimonial bureau. Never
saw her, but we're TO be married and
this hotel is the meeting place.
Wouldn't know her if we were to meet.
This will tell her that I'm her future
husband and the man pointed to the
sling. She'll have on the same kind
of an arrangement. Wait and see
what happens"
The drummer waited. Half an hour
later he saw the woman. She was
honely, frightfully homely, the drum
mer thought, and then he looked to see
the effect. He beheld the man hiding
behind a marble column. Evidently
the woman was looking for him. Her
eyes turned in all directions. The
drummer lost sight of the man for a
moment. When he came from behind
the post there was no trace of a sling
He was twirling the umbrella in the
injured" hand again, looking sheepish
and was making a bee line for the exit
A half hour later the woman asked the
drummer if he had seen "a man with a
sore arm" The drummer said he had
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
Not Eligible.

Here" said the affabIe agent. ac-
cording to Judge, "are a lot of testi-
monials and symptom blanks for our
renowned panacea."
The prospective patient and patron
looked them over.
Floating specks before the eyes,"
he unused: I've seen them often, Dull
pains in the back and head-that's me
exactly. Ringing in the ears-mine
ring all the time. Occasional numbness
of the arm or limb-mines numb right
this minute. Shortness of breath ana
feeling of goneness at the pit of the
stomach-well, if that isn't me to a
dot! Couldn't have hit it off better if
the man that got this up had been
watching me for years. 1 tell you |
believe this medicine would be just the
thing for me if it weren't for one OBJ
stacle that occurs to me as 1 look at
this array of testimonials from people
who have been cured"
Il don't quite understand" says
the agent
why, I'm out of its class. I'm
neither an actor, statesman nor a
preacher"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

Personal.

Said Western friend to Congress
man Cannon on Monday: Il haven't
forgotten that speech you made on ma
tional finances last session, Joe. That
was a fine effort" Yes, Jim Courts
gets up a good SPEECH" said the con-
gresham easily. Courts was clerk of
Cannon's Committee on Appropriations.
Did Courts write that speech?" was
the obvious question. Sure. Didn't
you notice that all the sentences were
completed? You might have known
didn't write it,
Just before the fight began over
statehood bills in the Senate Senator
Beverage walked across the chamber
and shook hands with Senator Quay,
the two statesmen being radically OPP
posed to each other on the proposition.
They exchanged a few words of elab-
crate politeness and then Mr.. Bever-
idge returned to his seat. The whole
incident irresistibly reminded behold
ers of the handshaking preliminary to
prize fight and Senator Stewart
called out sharply "Tme!" Quay
grinned, Beveridge blushed and every
body else laughed.
Former Vice President Levi P.
Morton and Secretary of State John
Hay are accused of engaging in a
friendly rivalry as to which shall have
the credit of giving the nations CAPT
tai the most modern up-to-date cafe.
Secretary Hay is building a 700-room
fat or apartment house in Connecticut
avenue, one of the SWEETEST thorough
fares in Washington. One of the at
fractions of the Hay fiat is to be a cafe
or restaurant, conducted on a scale far
beyond anything of the kind ever be-
fore attempted in the capital city A
similar idea struck Mr.. Morton, and he
is spending thousands of dollars re-
modelling his hotel property in Fifteenth
street. He came to Washington last
spring and instructed his business rep
resentative to proceed. without limit
of expense, to surpass all possible COM
petitors in the public house business.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Stockhold Augusta and
Savannah Railroad; DeKalb Lodge No.
81. O. o. F.. Savannah Lodge No.
1888, B. p. 0. Elks.
Special Notices--Dividend Notice,
Chatham Real Estate and Improve
ffent Company; New Year Turkeys,
James ]. Joyce; Removal Notice. j.
Pinkussohn & Co.
Business Notices-We Devote This
Space to Thanking Our Customers, A.
M. & c. W. West; Candy, Hardee &
Marshall; In Turning over a New
Leaf. r. Van Keuren & Co.
Cold Weather Necessities at Cut
Prices-Gustave Eckstein & Co.
Silverware-The Gorham Co.
Amusements-Mab Paige, at Thea
ter To-day and Tonight.
Medical-Medical Lake Soap; Stu
arts Catarrh Tablets; Vinol
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous. &e
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
ONLY AN ONLOOKER.

The point is being made in the dis
patches from Washington that as arbi-
tration has been agreed to by the allies
and Venezuela and The Hague Tribu-
nal chosen as arbitrator, the United
States have nothing further to do with
the Venezuelan imbroglio-that they
now occupy the position of an onlooker.
The point appears to be a good one,
but will the United States succeed in
wholly Withdrawing from the affair?
1t is sincerely to be hoped they will,
but there is one matter that has not
yet been satisfactorily adjusted, and
1t is a matter that is full of danger
1t seems that the allies are inclined to
maintain the blockade of the Venezue-
Ian coast during the progress of the
arbitration proceedings. There is no
good reason why the blockade should
that if it is, efforts will be made to run
it. in which case trouble is almost GER
tain to arise.
If one of our merchant ships,
for instance, were to be captured in
an attempt to get through the block
ade there would Immediately arise the
question as to whether or not the
blockade was effective. We might
have a case for The Hague Tribunal
then, provided there were not hothead-
edness on either side. But something
might be done by one party or the
nth NI,N III 1ar
ficult, if not Impossible. There is a be-
lief that Germany would like nothing
better than to bring about a condition
of affairs that would tend to drive
Great Britain into an alliance with her
against this country.
The United States will not be out of
the affair until an understanding is
reached that the blockade shall be
raised just as soon as the agreements
between the allies and Venezuela as to
what shall be arbitrated are signed.
The proceedings before The Hague
Tribunal may occupy several months
Why should the Venezuelan ports be
| blockaded during that time? The block
ade will not assist the allies in getting
their claims paid. On the contrary, the
effect of it will be to lessen the ability
of Venezuela to pay them.
President Roosevelt is getting great
deal of praise for managing to get the
allies and Venezuela to agree to arbi-
trate and to go before The Hague Tri-
| unal Now let him complete his work
by getting the blockade raised pending
the arbitration proceedings.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
CLEVELAND on THE MONROE DOC

Ex-President Cleveland has brief.
but interesting, interview on the Mon
roe doctrine in the New York World
of Sunday. In the course of it he says
that the doctrine is endangered in two
opposite direction-by those who do
not appreciate the vital Importance
of its proper Interpretation as prin-
ciple of our national policy" and by
those who would willfuTly extend its
scope"
The interpretations that have been
put on the doctrine by men promi-
nent in public life since the trouble be-
tween the allies and Venezuela broke
out justify fully the statement made
by MIR. Cleveland. Judging from what
some of these eminent statesmen said
the doctrine required us to call both
Germany and Great Britain to account
several times. The idea which num-
Der of them expressed in the public
prints was altogether different from
that which such an eminent authori-
ty as ex-Secretary of State Olney
gave it when the Venezuelan boundary
question was under consideration.
And there are public men who would
like to make the doctrine mean more
than it was originally intended to mean.
1t is not probable of course that We
shall get into trouble about the doc
trine through a wrong understanding
of it, but the occasion might arise
when a strong party might want to
make it cover cases that it is not in
tended to cover. An Interpretation
might be given it for a purpose.
However, there is no occasion at
this time to be disturbed about posi-
BILE trouble arising from lack of
proper appreciation of it as a part of
our national policy or from a wilfully
wrong interpration of it. The Hague
Tribunal, which is to take up the claims
which the allies have against Vene-
zuela. will not have the Monroe doc
trine before it in any manner what
ever. Our government provided that
it should not be brought before that
tribunal when it was arranging for ar
bitration between the allies and Vene-
zuela. In view of the fact however
that neither Germany nor Great
Britain is raising any question in re-
gard to it. might it not have been adj
visable to obtain a declaration from
The Hague Tribunal affirming it? Such
declaration might set at rest all ques-
ton about the nations of Europe ac-
cepting it. Still. as we intend to up
hold it, it doesn't matter much what
Europes position in regard to 1t is.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
-e-%-
A Tragic Christmas Joke.

In West Washington market on
Christmas Eve, says the New York
Times, a man without an overcoat
and with every appearance of hard
luck, moved with the crowd around
the stalls of holiday-making, joking
butchers. Tagging at his heels was a
little girl with a shawl covering her
head and shoulders. The man bought
two oranges from basket marked ''5
cents each,'' and gave them to the girl
There he said. lone is for you and
the other for mother. Papa's Christ
mas present"
Then he went to a butcher stall and
ordered a small shoulder of mutton
for roasting; costing about so cents,
and the cheapest kind of holiday treat
He handed the butcher a bank bill
closely and carefully folded and waited
for his change. The butcher went to
a neighboring stall TO change the bill,
took it without looking at it, and came
back to the man.
But" exclaimed the purchaser, at
was a ten-dollar bill gave you"
Nothing of the Sort retorted the
butcher. I'VE run no fiim-flam game
here"
The man protested in such piteous
tones that the attention of other GUS
toners was attracted. II am out of
work." he said, with no prospect of
getting any for a month. That was my
last ten-donar bill after paying the
rent. and it means our food until more
money comes in. i showed IL to my
wife before / came away, and she urg-
ed me not to buy too large a piece OF
mutton. i had no fiye-dollar bill, and
nothing else but the ten-dollar bill /
gave you"
Say. joe" shouted the butcher 10
his neighbor, what was that bill you
changed for me just now?'
Ten dollars" was the reply, but
since You was such a ninny as 20 run
away with half your change I thought
Ia lei YOU so. Come and get the
mans s. and give u 20 him. But the
drinks are on YOU"
There was a roar ~ Laughter The
man who had been made the butt 81
this Joke sremed 10 have aged fre
years in ~ many minutes. He i0ok
the nYf-doiiar hlli without q word
Kissed bic Crying child ana walked
away.
And yea Il d written thea humsr IL
fhe uort captivating thing in ihe
world.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
THE MORNING NEWS Is published

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in this year. and served 20
subscribers in the city. or sent by mail,
at 20 cents 2 month. $500 for six
month, and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue.
three months. $15O; six months, $500;
one year. $500.
TIKI WEEKLY NEWS, two Issues 4
week MONDAY and Thursday. by mail.
one yea-, S1.O0.
Subscriptions payable IN advance.
Remit by money order. check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient Advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading no
tees. amusements and cheap or want
column, 10 cents a line. Fourteen lines
of agate type-equal to one inch In
depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
office.
Orders for delivery OF the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 21O. Any irregularity In
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner, Man
aver.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30
PARKER's FRIENDS ADVANTAGEOUS

A day or two ago we called atten-
ton to the efforts that were being made
by the Democrats of Texas to bring
Judge Alton b. Parker to the front as
the Democratic nominee for President
The New York Herald of Sunday has
double column picture of him, together
with a long Washington dispatch
showing what the politicians there
think of him. and biographical sketch.
1t looks therefore as if the fact, that
Judge Parker is being doomed for the
Democratic nomination for President in
various parts of the West and South
has at last made an impression on
New York 1t seems that there has
been a quiet campaign for him going
on in many parts of the country for
more than six months. and from all
accounts it has met, and is still meet
ing, with great success.
This campaign was conducted last
summer and fall by congressman in
their respective districts. After look
ing over the field and discussing the
various men mentioned in connection
with the nomination, they came to the
conclusion that Judge Parker was the
most available one. Their reasons for
this opinion were that he was not we'll
known to the great mass of the peo-
pie, though what was known of him
was highly creditable to him. The fact
that he had no record that could be
attacked would make it easy to say
Complementary things about him with
out fear of contradiction.
The strongest reason, however. that
was offered in his favor was that he was
not recognized as being prominently
allied with either wing of the party
While it was believed that he was
against the silver craze ne was party
man and voted the Democratic ticket
in 1896 and 1900 1t was argued there
fore that the Cleveland wing of the
party would have no objection to him
and that he would be acceptable to
the Bryan wing.
We have already called attention 10
the fact that the Texas Democrats re-
gard him with much favor, and II
seems that in Missouri and Minnesota
ne is a favorite with many leading
Democrats. The Herald's Washington
special says that Georgia is for him.
but that paper does not give the source
I OF It's information. He may have many
friends in Georgia, but II he has they
/ have not yet made themselves known.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

The New York aldermen are still
wrestling with the parlor match prob
lem. The board day or two ago con-
sidered an ordinance requiring "a
matchbox in each room, placed five
and half feet from the floor" Pre-
sunnabiy the householders will be
permitted to select the color schemes
of the matchboxes so as to harmonic
with the wall paper and the furniture.
Another provision of the bill is that
children under ten years of age shall
not be permitted to play with or use
matches of any kind" This restrict
ing of parents in the playthings they
may give to their children is eminent
ly worthy of the paternal board OF
city fathers"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

A bill to prevent the marriage of con-
sumptives is to be introduced in the
Indiana Legislature. 1t is not based
on the old theory of the transmission
of the disease by heredity, but on the
assumption that the disease is trans
mitted by association. 1t is stated that
last month in Indiana eighty mothers
died of consumption leaving 100 small
children. The number of fathers dying
of the disease was not quite so large.
In favor of the passage of the bill II
will be argued that steps should be
taken not only to protect the offspring.
but TO cut down the number Of parents
that must die and leave orphans II
may be doubted, however. that the SEN
timent favorable 10 state paternalism
is strong enough in Indiana TO secure
the passage OF the proposed bill.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

unique scheme for tapping a the
oretically linitless supply of electrical
energy is proposed by Chicago man.
and it is alleged that he has found
capitalists TO back him in an attempt
to put the scheme into execution. The
earth's atmosphere is about seventeen
miles thick 1t is the Chicago mans
theory that the ethereal regions be-
yond the atmosphere abound In cleo
tricity and that II a proper conductor
of sufficient length could be projected
into space IL would gather the fluid
and transmit It 10 the earth. Outside
the earth's atmosphere the force OF
gravitation il away from the earth:
therefore, II say forty miles OF cable
were projected straight overhead, the
twenty-three miles that would extend
beyond the atmosphere would cause
the whole cable 10 receed from the
earth 70 that be could unwind any
quantity 81 cable and the wire would
seinln 80 rightly. II IL hls idea 70
unwind about go miles. which De-
ibinks would give him ar inflow 81
fisfiFieiiy sufucient ~ run large
ppmoef ~ industrial entsspIses. fge
f"tsnf erpialn. beseyff. how De- y
SENS 20 49, ihe afsi forfy niier II
we W ana starr Co., atrand 10 fsints
~ lpip rpaef bY reason ~ lts ON
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

According 10 returns collected by the
Railway Gazette, i6i.547 railroad cars
have been built I'm the United states
during the past twelve months. This
does not include electric railway cars.
which exceeded the output OF last year
~ Z55i2 and that of 1900 by about As.
900 The number ~ locomotives con-
siruoted was 1910. a. compared with
aasi built lasi year. Placing the aver
age 0osi ~ loc0wotlfe On $4,000. toe
output ~ 1909 represents an cxuendi-
gore ~ usarly fis0ooo0o AND the de.
mand is sfN Ferg heaFy for both csr
ana ieeomofltaf.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

The cables say that the clipping Crown
Princess of Saxony and her brother,
the Archduke Leopold Ferdinand, with
their sweethearts. will probably come
to the United States at an early day,
for the purpose of seeking asylum
and avoiding unpleasant complications
in Europe. 1t is to be hoped that
Will not undertake to elevate the stage
or the lecture platform
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-30

Chicago is to celebrate the one hum
-dredth anniversary of. its permanent
settlement next September, and a
somewhat elaborate programme is be-
ing arranged. The first permanent
settler of the site on which Chicago
stands was John Kinzie, who removed
there with his family in the autumn
of 1904.