Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-10-07
IMITATION FABLES.


There was once a young man from
Boston who came out West to get his
initiation in the fundamental principles
that are dead next to the manufacture
of white pine lumber. His father was
the ownerof a 'lawge' retail yawd' in
the East ard Etheloert, himself, who
was college man and a society bOY,
had done much good service as the
managing Hperintendeut of the Office
and Knew the difference between a
bunch os shingles and a scoot as well as
anyone; but the old gentlemen thought
the grinding experience in the forests
primegap would be a good thing for
the leveSiing up of notions, so ont to the
bad lanSs strobe Ethelbert When he
got into the office to which he had been
assigned and had fixed his lights, the
other boys of the force began TO notice
that he was pretty lofty for one so far
from home, and that he was Inclined to
spread around his superiority in culture,
refinement and goldfish with a pretty
wide brush and so it came about that
the boys, who were native growths, and
not ashamed to wear Fedora straw hats
and reversible cuffs, put mp their backs
and picking out a nice. soft spot for
Bertie's 1all, they started something.
One day the manager said, Il guess
you can go down and total up the yard,
our stocks are low now and this will be
good time to invoice"
So Etheibert started out one hot July
day with his little pencil and paper
pad and began to cipher, and about the
middle Ct August, as near as be could
figure it out he had counted up to 27
million feet of lumber, not to mention
a generous assortment of lath and
piekets and shingles, nor the heat of
about p miles of boiling lumber alleys
He was in the hospital for quite a
spell SWING up in cream bandages try
ing to uncook.
When he got his release and went
back 70 duty the manager said:
I'D like you to go down to the ware
house and invoice that logging outfit
This promised to be labor of a more
congenial nature as the warehouse
was cool and secluded and he would be
far from that untamed crew of pirates
in the office. But after he had iotIed
down few items and skinned his
shins on some bobsleds and slipped
off pile of cant hooks and grabbed
the edge Of big rotary saw as the only
thing in sight he concluded he had
Dciltl report. Inc manager glanced
mp and down the sheet and said, whats
become Of that swampsogger and the
hodag and the cross hauls and the snow
snake See here, he shouted, in stem
priab t9nes, you 60 back to the shack
and IetclUD that set OF cross haulS and
the snow snake"
Eiheihert was vanishing through the
door and needed him not at all and
that night the little jerk water train
from the bad lands had a boy in a
berth for Boston.
Moral The limitations aren't all in
the ritual books.
Even the names of the coal barons
are suggestive of a lower order of
being 'Baer" and ''Olyphant' speak
for themselves, Thomas is probably the
cat a9ss at1 the others seem to be
Holsters.
Every one is advised to go ont these
evenings and look for the new comet
in the northern heavens that is oaly
about 35,000,000 miles from the earth
and can be seen with the naked eye,
but who wants to take his naked eye
out on these cold nights when in five
minutes the very stare you stare will
freeze stiff in any direction you aim it.
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