The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-04-14
HOW "SLIM'' WENT ON
THE STAGE-FORGOT MS PAD
 DING
And Got More Than He Bargained
 for in Firat Act.

1T s'pose most of youse guys remem-
 Der Musical Slim,' said Stationary | Charlie as the homeless ones club met
 at the cheap lodging for the purpose of
 giving each member an opportunity to
 sing his swan song of hard luck.
 q meets dis Musical Slim once in
 Denver" said the professor, wen he
 was doin' stunts in a rough and tum-
 ble drama dat was bem' perpetrated at
 one of the second-class t'eaters."
 AS I was sayin', continued Station
 ary Charlie, T allow you all knows
 Musical Slim. I fought youse might be interested in knowin' how he came to be on de stages playin' sleigh bells in a
 musical turn. Dis here Slim is built ac- cordin' to de plans and specifications of a stepladder and is about as handsome an graceful as a bereayed stork. His face went out of style years ago an he certainly abused de privilege granted
 to every American citizen of bein homely if he want to-
 "Slim an me floats into Davenport, la, one day in de usual condition of not havin' cent. We Wanders about de village for a time we'en Slim becomes interested in de billboards dat announces a minstrel show dat's comein to town.
 Tin going to join de show says Slim, kind O t'oughtful like.
 If youse ever show dat Jamaica ginger on de stage you'll get de boot says to him in me merry way, for I shrinks at de idea of workin'.
 I'm not settin' myself for a Milo Venus says Slim; but ween it comes to doin funny turns I can certainly de- liver de goods. Wen I was a boy I used to make de folks laugh until de cows comes home, so to speak
 "Well, he braces de manager for a job. an de gazabo takes up wid de idea at once, an he signs Slim on de spot. It seems dat he has some funny knock about comedy dat he is Workin' up, an he needs a guy wid a comical face like Sims. I bids Slim a bum voyage as de French hackman says ween he says good-by to a friend, an I leaves him to his fate Dat night I protrudes me visage into de show to see Slim make his debutt.
 De turn wat Slim has to do is to come out an say few t'ings an let big mutt dat is built like a truck horse hit him wid bed slat we're it will do de most good Of course Slim is pad ded wid pillows for de occasion, w'ich makes de illusion perfect Dey had rehearsal in de afternoon, an it worked as easy as shootin' fish in a barrel.
 Well, say, Actor Neill don't have any more trouble joinin' de Elks dan Slim has putin into stage life. For real out an out woe Slim has Neill backed off de boards, an would make him t'ink he was, tied to building block, he'd win so easy De cause of it all was dat Slim gets rattled an for gets his paddin', an rushes on to do his i urn as nervous as a two-yearold in | ts first race.
 q sees Slim come out an say few . words. we'en Diff! comes de bed stat, Dere is an expression of surprise an | horror on Sims mug dat is beautiful | Q see. an he seems to tink dat he has | mixed destinies wid catapult. He sort { J gasps for breath ween de deadly I lap- stick catches him again. Dis time ie loses his temper, an wid a howl O. lain he turns an lands on de guy wat ras de club an knocks him trough tainted mountain dat seems to be tanding in de perspective about ten niles away,
 De scene dat follows would make de fair look like de peace con- erence at De Hague, Vile de audience cts up on it's hind legs an howls wid elight. De act is de hit of de show, n it is ten minutes before it is quiet nough to go on wid de program. De udience wants Slim to come back an O it all over again, but he is dat mod st an retirin' dat he refuses to be 1ade lion of. He never did like real ;m on de stage anyway. Well. de up hot of it was dat de manager nearly rows fit from laughin an raises lm's pay. So dat is how Musical , linn went on de stage "--Anaconda { l ar1