Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1902-08-13
BOTH wAGGIsH AND WITTY.
Amusing Blunders OF q Learned Eng
Hsh Professor I'm an English
College.

The amusing blunders many emf
lent men make are not always due to
ignorance. In fact, an ignoramus would
not make them. They are often the re-
suit merely of the inability of the
articulator to keep pace with the
thought. Of this class of blunders two
men of similar name may be instanced
Senator John c. Spooner, of Wiscon-
sin, and Prof. William Archibald Spoon
er, of Oxford university, and both are
guilty of some famous "Spoonerisms."
William Braddon, of New York, knows
the professor very well, says the Chi
cago Chronicle, and tells some funny
stories of that eccentric genius, whose
I fame as ludicrous word twister has
spread all over Europe. When he gave
out in the chapel the first line of the
missionary hymn: From Greenland's
Icy Mountains" he contorted it thus:
From Icdand's greasy mountains"
Another hymn he announced as 'Kink-
ering Gongs Their Titles Take" At a
special service, seeing some women
standing at the back of the church
waiting to be seated, he rushed down
the aisle and addressed the ushers as
follows: "Gentlemen, gentlemen, sew
these ladies into their seats" Being
| asked at dinner what fruit he would
have, he promptly replied: "Pigs,
aeas."
Prof. Spooner, who has the re-
spect of all England, is apparently
quite unconscious of these remarka bic
transpositions. This is the way in
| which he proposed to his wife: Be
| ing one afternoon at the home of her
| father, Bishop Harvey Goodwin, of
! Carlisle, Mrs. Goodwin said: 'Mr.
Spooner, will you please go out into
| the garden and ask Miss Goodwin if
| she will come in and make tea?" The
professor, on finding the young lady,
said: Miss, Goodwin, your mother
told me to ask you if you would come
n and take me.''
An undergraduate was up before
Prof Spooner, the dean of his college,
for neglecting his studies, and con-
stantly being absent from lectures.
Regarding him sternly, the good man
said: young gentleman, do you real
ize that you are squandering your
parents money and imperiling your
| future career? You have now tasted
two worms!" (wasted two terms)
Travelling up from Oxford to London
one day, the guard, who knew him we'll,
asked what luggage he had. ooh, two
rags and bug" replied the profess
sor. On the occasion of the jubilee
celebration of Queen Victoria's six
tieth anniversary he conducted a spe-
cial Thanksgiving service in his col
lege chapel. Impressively he said:
"My brethren, let us now pray fol
our queer dean" metimes he twists
a text, as when he read: MEN are led
away by their own tusts and en-
liced.''
He is sometimes quite deaf and often
bashful. On one occasion he was neigh.
Dor at dinner with a sprightly young
woman, who, finding it difficult to
reach subject of common interest
IN which to start conversation
thought she would try fruit, being in.
spired by dish of bananas before her
IN the table. ''Mr. Spooner," said she
"do you like bananas?' Blushing tt
the roots of his hair, the good mar
responded: "Weil, my dear young lady
as you have asked me the question,
must confess that / prefer the old
fashioned nightshirt.''
|