The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1902-04-18
WHACKER y
BILLS f
J CONVERSION y
By H. Wadsworth Parker

1 Copyright. 1902. by /
K 8. S. Mcclure Company Z
RESPONSIVENESS
The Rev. John Rollins did not notice
that his wife was holding out his bear
skin coat with both hands. He con-
tinued to stare into the depths Of the
open fireplace.
The nickel alarm clock licked noisily
on the high mantelshelf, the only
sound in the cabin tucked under
Bilger's hill. The minute hand touch
ed -, and Mrs. Rollins coughed apollo
getically.
The Reverend John came out OF his
trance and slipped into the waiting
coat. His wife cast an adoring look
up at his square shouldered six feet
| one.
Il hated to interrupt your thoughts,
Jack, but the stage is due in a minute.
Were you thinking Of your sermonr'
Not much, my girl" replied Rollins.
was vi lldI kncAly-kOuK
mile ride with Whacker Bill. It Is
honestly the worst feature Of this
charge. like to go over to Las Vegas.
| They're a friendly set, and they're al
ways glad to see me. But the ride
that foul mouthed Bill. with his swear
ing at every rut in the road! But I'll
cure him yet. l feel somehow as If
I'd been sent to this place to save
Whacker Bills soul, and I'm going to
do It,"
John Rollins set his mouth in the
firm curve that his wife could remem-
her from the old football days, long be-
fore he had taken orders in the church.
The little woman clasped and un-
ciasped her hands nervously.
Il hope. Jack. dear, you'll be very,
very careful in dealing with Bill. He's
an awful character. they say-and"-
YES, he claims to lie the champion
bad man of the Las Vegas valley, but
you remember certain little sling
once did the business with another
brnggart, and I'm loading up with
stones for the same trick"
He smiled cheerily into his wife's
anxious face. kissed her tenderly and
crossed to the door.
Don't worry, little woman. won't
hurt him or lay myself liable to the
law"
The Reverend Rollins threw open the
door and gazed down the winding
mountain street. The commotion in
front Of the postoffice told him that
the stage had arrived. He stalked
down the flower edged path to meet 1t.
When the stage plunged and swayed
past the cabin. Mrs. Rollins waved her
hand to her husband, sitting straight
and smiling beside the rough driver.
Then she ran into the house, where.
burying her face in her husbands big
chair, she had hearty cry.
On and on swung the stage, Bill
chatting amiably Of his former
trlumphs when the vigllantes repre-
scented the law and life was worth liv-
ing. Nothing happened to disturb his
serenity until they had passed Las
Cruces. when they suddenly came upon
Il patch Of road that made the stage
jerk and plow from side to side. like
Il ship in the teeth of gale.
What Whacker Bill said about the
road commissioners of the county
would not bear publication. AS he
Stormed and rayed in the maddest Of
profanity the Rev. John Rollins squar-
ed round and looked Whacker Bill fair
~ in the eye.
Here, you triangulated sine qua non
of perambulator, shut up"
Bill stopped in the middle Of a
mighty oath and stared at the mis-
sionary in amazement. SO preachers
lost their temper, and such quiet
chap as Preacher Rollins too!
Bill forgot the condition of the road
while he ruminated over this fact.
Then they struck an ugly stone,
mailbag flew through space. and Bill
came back to earth by a most profane
route Rollins held the reins while
Pill went back to gather up Uncle
Sans possessions. The offending bag
went up with crash and an oath. and
Bill was following with still mightier
accompaniment Of profanity when he
felt the young missionary's grip of
steel on his wrist.
You bifurcated prlsmodial of a ne
plus ultra iconoclast, stop that noise
and tend to business"
Whacher B:ll climbed into the seat
without word. Rollins calmly light
Ell cigar and studied the scenery, and
they rode five miles IN eloquent silence.
Then Rill could stand it no longer.
"Pardncr. whar did you rarn it,
AT college," came the terSe reply.
"Lordy. an I've heerd EN- called
religious cemeteries" murmured Bill,
and silence once more settled between
them.
Rollins was smoking his third cigar
and feeling a bit nervous as they coy
cred the last two miles into Las Vegas.
Just as they caught sight of the towns
lights twinkling In the mist one OF the
lead horses stumbled and fell. In ten
seconds there was mad combination
of horses. tangled harness and prOfan-
ity in front of the stage. When the
damage had been repaired to Il steady
fire of cusS words, Bill returned to his
post. swearing as he mounted the step.
swearing as he gathered up his lines.
swearing as he cracked the whip. Then
that calm, even voice fell upon his
ear.
That's enough from you. you quad
rangular hypotrnuSr and polyhcdrnl
old scout-you triangular, trlgrnomet-
rical descendant of the antcdiluvian
period"
Bill fairly gaSped. Words failed him.
one hand clHsprd the lines. and the
fingers of the other worked nervously,
hut it WAS not raisri against his COM
panion. The latter continued to gaze
at him sternly.
You psychological progeny Of
NEUROLOGICAL ancestry. you zanthidium
coSmopulitc, you problematical de-
scendant of dccadent progentors, /
want you to understand that when
I'm riding with you and there's any
swearing to he done l will do 1t! You
| don't know good cuss words when you
| see them"
The stage drew M before the Empire
hotel Five minutes later Whacker
Eli stumbled up to the bar and asked
| huSkily for his usual drink.
Make it two, Jimmy, make 1t two,
and make 'em stiff"
| And he drank them slowly, staring