The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-03-15
THE CONGRESSMAN AND THE cow.
Speech Made by seIby, of Illinois, for
the OIeomargarine Tax.
CONGRESSIONAL Record.

Congressional Record.
Mr.. Chairman desire to say a few
words on this greasy subject. l am n
friend of the woman that milks the COW.
l am friend to the man that stands by
and watches his wife while she milks the
COW, for is she not his helpmeet? l love
to see the woman churn the foaming cream
until the butter cometh. 1 love the nice
fresh buttermilk, and love TO see the busy
housewife wallop the butter about in her
hands into shapely rolls. [ love to see the
butter come, and then L love TO make the
butter fly.
Memory goes back to the happy times
when the cows came home, and to the less
happy times when | had TO make them
come home. Any man who has been raised
with a COW Will never lose his friendship
for her nor go back upon her, nor upon
her back, when adversely strikes her bust
ness.
The gentleman from Virginia Mr. lamb
paid the Virginia COW a beautiful and elo-
quent tribute, but let say to him that
the Virginia COW cannot be compared with
the big fat cows of the Mississippi valley
and beyond l am well aware that Vir-
ginia is entitled TO the proud distinction
of having been the mother of Presidents
but she was not the mother of a COW. The
Mississippi valley COW is a marvel of won
DER and the pride OF every home. She
never goes dry. She is kind and gentle,
and has such maternal affection that she
often ticks the mixer instead of her calf.
If 1 fail to vote fer this bill l shall feel
that l cannot go home and ever again look
my country are Democratic cows. They
give Democratic milk, which accounts for
the everlasting big Democratic majorities
in my district They are not yet aware,
sir. that there is such thing cleo in
any part of their anatomy. Why, sir, even
our hogs have not learned that their greasy
in'ards contribute to the greedy work of
building up a great anti-cow-butter monop-
oily. If the peaceful hog knew ii he would
grunt in shame.
The COW in my country lives i'm Arcadian
icif he dura1 lott amid mas
lures and looketh obviously at the Repub-
lican as he passeth by his mission to
hoOdoO the honest voter.
Frolicsome calves gallop about with tails
erect, rejoicing in the fullness of Demo-
cratic freedom that is theirs. The cow is
contented and happy, out in my district,
young Democrats. Little does this patient
cow know that the honest product of her
toll is being counterfeited so successfully
by cunning men that the butter eater know
eth not any more what he eateth when he
buttereth his bread.
The wholesome food product called
oleomargarine you say is such a fine coun-
terfeit of genuine butter, such delicious
substitute, that the honest son OF toll can
not tell whether he is eating pure butter
or this fraudulent compound OF hog lard,
steer fat and Cotton-seed grease. To such
perfection has swindling at last
under Republican rule and misrule. Why
should you not be earnestly and elO-
quently advocating an honest thing for the
honest workingman as you are earnestly
and eloquently advocating this substitute,
this compound of mysterious fats, for
him? l tell you the honest son of toll is
entitled to have the honest product of hon
est labor. the best and not the poorest, the
genuine and not the counterfeit. We should
take off our hats to these honest sons of
toll. for we are here by their votes, by
their kind permission. They expect us to
prevent fraud, not TO protect 1t. They eX-
pect us to give an honest vote for an hon
est measure. This bill is an honest meas
ure to protect an honest industry.
Gentlemen, let us stand by the honest
cow and verify shall have an album
dance of genuine butter for our bread and
milk for our babies-and the earth and the
fullness thereof shall be ours. Loud ap-
plauSe.