The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-05-04
THE EMPEROR'S CIGARS;
SOME. THAT HE NEVER SMOKED
Being Story Customs House. Event That Made
Fortune for Some Inspectors and Cost Cigar Dealer
Great Deal-Probably His Reputation
Being a Story of the c
Copyright. 1902, by Robert Howard

Copyright. 1902. by Robert Howard
Russelll.
II IS not the blood which flows at the
front, my children, that is the worst vi
war; it is the money corruption that goes
On It the rear. In old Sparta. theft was
not theft unless discovered in process Of
| accomplishment, and those larcenous
r.orals taught of Lycurgus would seem.
en- the heels of our own civil war TO have
found widest consent and adoption
throughout every department of govern
ment. The public hour reeled with rot
tenneSs. and you may be very sure the
New York Customs went as staggerinsiy
corrupt the rest.
1t is to my own proper shame that |
should have fallen to have art or part
or lot in such iniquities. Yet l went into
them with open eyes and hands. and q
heart-hungry as a pke's-for whatever.
of spoil chance or slillfully constructed
opportunity might place within my reach
My sole defense, and that now sounds
slight and trivial even to my partial ears,
was the one I advanced the other day;
my two-ply hatred of government, both
for Injuries done my region Of the South,
as we'll the personal ruin visited on
me when, with ruthless dictum of reve-
| nue.. my ill-wishers struck down that en-
terprise of steamed tobacco which was
| making me rich That is all may urge.
| say, IN extenuation. and I concede its lean
and meagre Insufficiency. But however
! somber of moral my tale may be. II am
| to get 1t told before the moon comes up,
I must press forward.
AS I've said. obtained an appointment
| as an inspector of stoms, and afterward
worked side by 81, and I might ADD
| hand and glove, with our old friends.
! Quin and Lorns, OF the Story of the
| Struggled Silks. That fearsome honest
| Chief Inspector who had so put my heart
| to a trot had b dismissed for some III
| timed integrity. 7 suppos>sharp!y in the
| wake Of that day he frightened me; and
| when I took up lifes burdens as an Of
| ncer OF the customs, my companions. to-
| gether with myself, were all black sheep
| together Was there by any chance an
honest man among us, he did not mem
| ton 1t, surely; nor did he lapse into act
or deed that might have been evidence
! to prove him pure Yes, forsooth! igno-
rance could be overlooked drunkenness
condoned. Incidence reproved, but for that
officer Of customs. in those years to close
| " follow the civil war, who was found
| guilty OF honesty, there shone no ray of
| hope. He was seized on and cast into
| outer unofficial darkness, there to exer-
| else his dangerous probity in private hf"
| There was no room for such among u.s.
J
| remained. Wherefore. we of a proper
! blackness, were like many descend
| arts of Diogenes. forever searching among
| ourselves to find an honest man with a,
| fullest purpose when discovered of his
! destruction. We maintained n strictest
| quarantine against any infection of truth
| and T positively believe, with such sue
| cess, that it was absolutely excluded from
| our midst That honest Chief Inspector
| was dismissed, 7 say; Lorns told me Of
it before I'd been actively in place an
! hour. and the news gave me deepest sat
| isfaction.
| That gentleman who was official head
! OF the cotere OF revenue hunters TO
| which I was assigned was particularly,
| the man unusual. His tvle name, If
! ever heard it, has slipped from my mem
| ory; among us Of the Customs, he was
| known as Betelnut Jack. Lorns took me
| into his presence and made us known to
| one another early in my revenue career
| had been told stories OF this man by
| both Lorns and Quin. They deeply rever-
| enced him for his virtues of courage and
| cunning-and the praises Of Betelnut Jack
| were never tired on their lips.
| Betelnut Jack was at his home In the
| Bowery. Jack, in years gone by, had
| been a hardy member of one of those VOL
| unteer fire companies which in that hour
1
| life. Jack was q doughty fighter, and
with q speaking trump in one hand and
! a spanner-wrench in the other, had!
| done deeds of daring whereof one
might still hear the sigh. And he be-
came for these strong-hand reasons a
| tower of strength in politics; and OBJ
| tanned that eminence in the Customs
| which was his when first we met.
Betelnut Jack received Lorns and my
! self in his dlngy small coop Of a parlor.
He was unmarried-a popular theory in
accounting for this being that he'd been
crossed in love in his youth. Besides
the parlor Jacks establishment con-
tanned only room, bedroom it was,
| a shadow bigger than the Led.
| Betelnut Jack himself was short, thin.
| Wiry. dark and with a face which while
! showing marks Of former wars. was the
| home Of a quiet. kindly good-humor.
There had been an actor, Chanfrau, who
played Nose, the Fireman Betelnut
! Jack resembled in dress his Bowery
brouner OF the stage. His soled silk hat
| stood on a dresser. He wore long
skirted coat, a red shirt, a belt winch
upheld-in a manner SO absent minded
| that one feared for the consequence
| his trousers; which latter garments in
| their examinations were tucked inside
| the gaudy tops of calfskin boots; small
and wrinkleless these. and fitting like a
| glove, with the yellow seams of the
| soles each day carefully reyellowed to
/ the end that they be noted and admired
of men, Betelnut Jacks dark hair. a
shade Of gray streaking it in places.
/ was crisp and curly; and long curl.
! carefully twisted and oiled. was brought
/ down as low as the angle OF his jaw
just forward Of each ear
BE honest, young mani said Betel-
nut Jack, at the close CT lecture con.
corning my duties: "be honest! Blu. II
YOU must steal, steal enough each time
to pay for the loss Of your job. Do you
see this?" and Jack hand fell on large
| morocco bound copy OF 'Josephus winch
i lay on the table well, Lorns will tell
/ you what stories I look for in that
And Lorns. as he came away, told me.
Once week it was the practice or eacn
inspector to split off twenty per cent ct
/ his pillase He would, thus organized.
pay a visit to his chief. the worthy Be
| telnut Jack AS they gossiped. Jach $