The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-04-04
JOBSON FORGETS.

JUBSUN EURGEIG.
Mrs. Jobson gave up attending matinees
quite number of years ago. She found
that she had to. The impossibility of max
| ing connections so as to preside over the
| Jobson dinner was what caused her to
| abandon her occasional visits to afternoon
| theatrical performances She tried the
scheme of quitting the performances about
half an hour before the final fall of the cur
tain, but this was unsatisfactory, not only
because she had to miss the denouement Of
| the play, but because she always got home
| late anyhow.
The other morning, while the Jobsons
were at breakfast, young unmarried wo-
man friend Of Mrs Jobson's dropped In to
| tell the latter that she had couple of com
| nlmentary seats for matinee that day,
and asked Mrs Jobson if she would care to
accompany her to the show. Mrs. Jobson
looked wistful, but she replied:
"I'd like to, but don't believe / can.
"Huhw put in Mr.. Jobson, looking up
from his morning paper. Cant what?
Why can't you?"
"Well," said Mrs. Jobson; ''the dinner,
| you know"
"That's all right about the dinner you
go to the matinee" said Mr.. Jobson, short
| W, and so Mrs. Jobson accepted the invita-
ton and her young unmarried woman
| friend went her way. When she had gone,
Mr.. Jobson blared fercely at Mrs. Jobson
and demanded:
Look a-here, madam, what's your idea
| in endeavoring to show me up in this man
ner? What's your scheme in trying to hold
me up as sort of Bluebeard and general
hard nut before everybody that drops in
| here, hey?"
| Mrs. Jobson said she didn't quite catch
his drift.
What made you put on that air Of mis-
cry and pale grief when that girl asked ypu
| to go to the matinee with her, eh''? in
quired Mr.. Jobson. Trying to give ner
the impression that you're dubbed with
fence-picket by me two or three times
day."
/ Mrs. Jobson said that she didn't remem-
Der having looked that way.
.sWho the dickens ever said anything
about your going to the matinees, I'd Like to
know? Me?"
| Mrs. Jobson replied family that to the
| best of her recollection there had been,
| quite awhile ago, some little difficulty over
! the matter of Mr.. Jobson's dinner when she
had gone to the matinee.
Never was anything of the sort, stout
| ly maintained Mr.. Jobson. II never saidN
word to you about going to matinees in my
| life. Fact is, I've often asked you, when
you tried to drag me off at night to shows
that didn't care whoop to see, why you
didn't take in the matinee of such shows
| This game of yours of trying to make all
hands think I'm a household bulldozer and
| tyrant has got to be stopped, that's all. You
| / fyof
| down town and you needn't work yourself
/ into any nervous delirium as to whether
! I'll get enough to eat or not. I'll be home
about nine or ten o'clock tonight, or maybe
! I'll take in some kind of a stag variety show
myself Anyhow, don't you bother, but just
90 ahead and have the fun that's coming to
you"
| Mrs. Jobson was delighted over the op-
| portunity to see play that she had been
| secretly laundering to see and she told Mr..
| Jobson that he was just about as good as
he could be, if not whole lot better, and
| all the morning, as she went about her
| household work, she experienced glow of
| pleasure over his increasing good nature.
Her young woman friend called for her
at noon, and they went down town and had
| the usual feminine antimatinee luncheon
of chocolate eclairs, pickles and cocoa, and
bought pound Of chocolate candies to con-
| sumo during the performance, and Mrs.
Jobson enjoyed herself hugely.
It was about 5:l5 o'clock when she left
| her young woman friend at the Jobson
front gate and entered the Jobson abode,
| dreamily humming clinging little air that
the orchestra had played during the after
noon. She was still in sort of a trance
over the memory Of the play as she took
4 81,
consequently startled almost out of her wits
when she heard deep cough-unquestion
| ably the cough Of Mr. Jobson--pro
| from the basement She ran down the
basement stairs and into the basement din
! ing-room.
! Mr.. Jobson, with heavy scowl on his
face, was gnawing at an old ham bone that
he had found in the refrigerator. Beside
him was half loaf of stale bread that he
had dug from the bottom of the bread box.
Two pounds of butter, on the wood platter
as it had been delivered, was also beside
| him, and between gnaWs at the bone Mr..
! Jobson was taking sips from the warmed
| over coffee left from breakfast, which con-
sisted chiefly of muddy-looking grounds.
why" exclaimed Mrs. Jobson, how
did you happen to come home?"
Mr.. Jobson looked her over with an ex-
preston of intense amazement
"How did happen to come homer" he
asked her, hoarsely. Where do ordi-
narily hike after office hours to the north
pole?"
| But" said Mrs. Jobson, did you forget
that you told me to enjoy myself at the
matinee, and that you would have your
dinner down town and perhaps go to the
theater yourself this evening 2"
Mr.. Jobson stared at her with an express
sion of utter stupefaction on his face
'Matinee?" he gulped. Dinner down
town? What are you talking about?
haven't even heard the word matinee men
toned for seven years. to my certain knowl-
edge, and as for taking my dinner down
town, what dye suppose slave like an
Alaska dog to keep this home together for
This, madam, is about the finish. When
man, worn out from overwork, has to crawl
home and make the best sort Of a meal he
| can out of bacl-number scraps, day in and
day out, while his wife is gadding about the
streets and frivoling around at matinees,
then it's about time to declare such an i'm
possible situation at an end. The moving
vansll be here the first thing tomorrow
morning, Mrs. Jobson, and partic-
ularly request that you endeavor to re-
main in the house long enough to see that
Il A "a