davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Mark Twafn's First Earnings.

Mark Twain was once asked by a
friend if he remembered the first
money he had ever earned.
YES" answered Mr.. Clemens, puff
ing meditatively on his cigar, Il have
a distinct recollection of it. When
was youngster, l attended school al
a place where the use Of the birch rod
was not an unusual event. 1t was
against the rules to mark the desks in
any manner, the penalty being a fine
of $5 or public chastisement.
Happening TO violate the rule on
one occasion, l was offered the alter.
native. I told my father, and, as he
seemed to think it would be too bad
for me to be publicly punished, he
gave me the $5. At that period of my
existence So was large sum, while a
whipping was of little consequence.
and so''- here Mr. Clemens reflective.
ly knocked the ashes from his cigar
well" he finally added, that was
how earned my first So"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
BROTHER SMOOT AND THE SEN.
ATE.

Those alleged Christian gentlemen in
Utah who have united for the purpose
of opposing the election to the United
States Senate of Mr.. Reed Smoot, Of
Salt Lake City, have shown their hand
too clearly. Their campaign thus far
has breathed the air of evangelism.
Their religious feelings, rather than
their political principles, or their rights
or their interests as citizens, have plain
ly been assailed. Brother Smoot is ap-
parently considerable of person in the
Mormon church. That appears to be
the beginning and end of the complaint
made against him. 1t is the ground,
and the only one, upon which his OPP
ponents stand in their determination to
exclude him from the Senate.
There is no serious insistence that
Mr.. Smoot is polygamist. Nobody
says that he has a surplueage of marital
companions, as his brother Roberts had,
but he is apparently none the lees q
good Mormon if We are to accept as con-
elusive on the subject the statements
which his religious and political enc
mics have made.
1t does not cut very much fgure..in
the mind of the ordinary American
whether Brother Smoot will work for
the Mormon church or any other
church or any church at all, if
he goes to the Senate. He has
right to do any or all of those things
in that event. The State in it's selection
of Senators is not called upon to dis
tinguish on the score of his religion,
and the United States Constitution in
its first amendment very distinctly
takes ground against Brother Shoots
enemies.
1t is hard to see under all the circum-
stances what the Utah Christian bretL-
ren are making so much fuss about.
They have not shown single reason why
Smoot would not make good United
States Senator and they have stated a
few which would justify his selection.
1t is quite evident that their sectarian
zeal has outrun their political discretion,
and that unless they change their tack
they are likely to render it nece ssary
for the members of the Utah legislature
to elect Mr.. Smoot to the United States
Senate for the vindication of his recog-
nized Constitutional rights. Certainly
If the Mormons are in a majority they
will not be worth their salt il they fail
to elect him in view of what has occur
red.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
she Renndinted the Charge.

ShC tnG NhAFSGs
At the mems service in Yorkshire
parish the vicar tried to convey the les
son that the truest heroes and heroines
are those who do noble deeds i'll the
secret corner of the home, where none
can see or applaud.
Stew of you seem to think" he CON
cluded, that your wives staying at
home uncomplainngly to mind the chill
dren and prepare the meals are
heroines, and yet their touching devo-
tion to duty proves them to be So
1t certainly hadn't struck one old
farmer in this way before, and as soon
as he got home he promptly told his
wife that the vicar had called her a
heroine.
whatever does that mean?" asked
the good lady.
"Oh, it means a woman who stays il
t. house instead of goin' art to show
hersen," explained the farmer vaguely.
'"Then I'm not a heroine, an III
thang t. vicar to mind what he's say
in" snapped the wife. Il go to his
church as much as t. other women DO,
an he must be blind if he can't see me
Why, I'd five different colors in t
bonnet / wore last Sunday ay!"-LondoI
Answers
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Solving 1t.

Patrick. thrifty tradesman in the
neighborhood of the Dublin docks, was
the story goes, a man who never spent
penny more than he needed to spend
but he was nevertheless as good man
at the making of an Irish bull as any
who lived between Bantry and Bally-
castle
Having one day occasion to send a
letter to place some distance, Patrick
called messenger and asked him his
price for going such distanc.
1T ill be shillin'." said the man.
''Twice too much." said Patrick. Let
it be sixpence."
'Nivver," answered the messenger
''The way is that lonely that I'll nivver
go it under Il shillin'."
Lonely, is it?" said Patrick, scratch.
ing his head. Faith, an yere right.
Now, man. I'll tell We what we'll do;
make it sixpence, an III go wild ye to
kape ye companyr'
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Roast Pig q la Lamb In China,

Roast Pig q Ia Lamb In China.
A correspondent of the North China
Herald writes this dissertation upon
roast pig: How little western writer's
understand the Chinese! Who has
not read and rejoiced over Lambs
Dissertation Upon Roast Pig? 1t is
not, everybody who has the chance
Of seeing Lambs fascinating story
worked out in real life. In the begin.
ming of the present Chinese year /
passed through q busy market village
where the people kept many pigs In
the middle of the night fire broke
out in the market village and de-
stroyed the whole place. No lives had
been lost, but most of the pigs had
been roasted, especially those too fat
to run quickly. Roast pigs! Burning
houses! Lambs story in real life!
Quite naturally | remarked that some
folk must have had splendid meal of
roast pork in those days. To my sur
prise the natives asked with disgust:
"A splendid meal! Who would eat
that sinking, smoky stuff? The
palate of the Chinaman absolutely re.
jects smoky roast pork! All that mag
nificent cpicurean description culmi-
mating in the one word 'crackling'-a
delusion, a yarn, lie! | gloated over
that yarn when a boy and grew ex-
cited as the story went from one page
to another. Now TO find the whole
thing go up in smoker
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
The Rose.

Old as the history of The world itself
is that of the queen of flowers. The
ancient Greeks and Romans reveled in
roses. They We're used lavishly ut their
feasts. In the time Of the republic the
people had their cups of falernian wine
swimming with blooms, and the Spar
tan soldiers, after the battle of Cirrha,
refused to drink any wine that was not
perfumed with roses, while at the re-
gatta of BaiR the whole surface of the
Lucrine lake was strewn with flowers.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
His EGg Sauce.

"Well, my man." said the visiting
physician of Dublin infirmary to a
patient, chow do you feel this morn
ing?"
Purity well, sorr." was the reply.
THAT'S right. l hope you like the
placer"
Indeed and / do, SORT" said the
man. There's only wan thing wrong
in this establishment, and that is
only get as much mate as wud feed a
sparrow"
"Oh, you're getting your appetite,
are you?' said the doctor. ''Then I'll
order an egg to be sent up to YOU"
"Arrah, docther," rejoined the pa
tient, would you be so kind as to- tell
thin at the same time to sind me up
the hin that laid it?''
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
IN DEADLY PERIL.
The Narrow Path of Safety.

The Alpine tourist who finds himself
suddenly clinging with feet and fingers
I to shelf of slippery rock overhanging a
dizzy precipice, understands in a very
literal sense the full meaning of the
words, "There is but step between me
and death" His peril is So tragic in all
its circumstances, SO wild in its mountain
setting, that the heart almost stands still
at the thought of it
But as matter of fact every man
walks the world with his life in his
hands, and the path of safety is narrow
for his feet.
An example of the constant peril in
which we live is found in the alarming
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04


told me that If we could keep the bron-
chial tubes open, he might cure him:
but after treating him several weeks and
my son growing worse ali the time.
/ concluded to try DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery and Pleasant Pellets
I had seen several miraculous cures
brought about by the use of these medi-
cines, and, of course, had wonderful
faith in them. I am so happy to tell
you that I have not been disappointed,
and that my boy is well. He used three
bottles of Golden Medical Discovery
at home and one vial of the Pellets
and was then well enough to go to West
Virginia, taking supply with him. I
am just in receipt of letter from him
from which quote: am we'll and
hardy and getting very heshy.'
wThe neighbors all knew the condition
of my boy and they all said he had con-
sumption and would not live q month,
and the doctor told some persons after I
commenced the use of your medicine that
my boy had quick consumption and
would have to die.n
Persons suffering from disease in cnron-
ic form are invited to consult DIR. Pierce,
by letter, free. All correspondence is held
in strict privacy and sacred confidence.
Address Or. r. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Accept no substitute for the wDiscov-
ery.n The main motive of substitution
is to enable the dealer to make the little
more profit paid by the sale of less meri-
torious medicines.
SENT FREE.
DR.. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser, containing 1908 pages and over
100 illustrations, is sent free on receipt
of stamps to pay expense of mailing
only. Send 81 one-cent stamps for the
cloth-bound volume, or only 2I stamps
for the book in paper covers. Address
DR.. r. v. Pierce. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04

@umbeP of deaths from consumption.
The country is thoroughly aroused to the
need of doing something to stop the
ravages of the deadly germ of this dis
ease. Several states have made liberal
appropriations for sanitariums in favor
able climates. The medical skill of the
world is enlisted to fight consumption.
Yet in spite of all that is done, the dis
ease seems to gain ground instead OF
losing it.
THE FORCE OF HABIT
is strong with US. We are so accustomed
to the world wide prevalence of con-
sumption that we accept it practically as
necessary evil. If some strange dis
ease were to break out, and destroy
human life to the same extent as does
consumption, such disease would be
looked upon. as an appalling plague.
Quarantine would be established against
It, and days of fasting and prayer ap-
pointed by the churches for the mitiga-
ton of the disease. But we accept con-
sumption as inevitable because of its
familiarity. .....-..
How true this is may be judged from
recent report of Sanitary Officer Gorgas,
of Havana, Cuba. 1t has been cabled to
the United States that yellow fever was
epidemic in Havana. DR.. Gorgas an
swered that there is no epidemic. He
says: wIn the past month there were
72 deaths from consumption and Sc from
yellow fever. Yellow fever therefore
should not be considered epidemic more
than consumption"
What light that throws on our accept
ance of Consumption A scare cry is
raised that yellow fever is epidemic be-
cause Of So deaths in one month. Not a
word was said as to consumption which
in the same month claimed II victims, or
over 35% more than died of yellow fever.
The great question is: Why is con-
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
The Privilege of Postum.

A Georgia darky arrested for steal
ing possum from a white man said
to the judge:
Il don't count it no stealin' tall yo'
homer, kaze de possum wuz raise fer
de Niger, des lax de mule wuz. Let
de white man take de turkey en- leave
de possum fer de niger is what l
saysr'
But" said the Judge, "the negro
frequently takes the turkey too?''
Not dis season, suh," was the quick
reply. "Dey roostin' too high."-At-
lanta Constitution.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
A Black Eye.

Provided there is no abrasion or cut
of the cuticle, a black eye can be re-
moved in one night by an application
of an ointment of black hellebore.
Rub some black hellebore powder up
with some lard and apply, leaving it
on all night, In the morning the dis
coloration has all gone ana the swell
ing also, only leaving slight wrinkle,
which soon disappears by cold water
applications.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Difference of Opinion.

''How did that poem of yours turn
out?"
"Oh," answered the author. there
was the difference of opinion that
usually attends the production of a
masterpiece The postmaster insisted
that it was srst class matter and the
editor insisted that it was not
Washington Star
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
nOStetter'S
Stomach RitterS

Has been the standard remedy for
stomach, li5sr aud kidney complaints
for fifty years. Then don't accent
any other II you wish to recover your
health. It will positively cure
HEADACHE, NAUSEA. BELCHING,
FLATULENCY, INDIGESTION.
DYSPEPSIA and KIDNEY troubles.
Try bottle and be convinced OF Tvs
value. The genuine has OUR PRI.
VATE STAMP over the neck Of the
bottle. Avoid all SUBSTITUTES:
and INVITATIONS.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Not Worried hx Them.

Mamma-Johnny, when you told ME
that that Sever boy threw stones at
you you did rot tell me that it was
after you had thrown stones at him.
JOHNNY wasn't afraid of the
stones | threw at him, ma. 1t was
only the ones coming my way that
was scarf of.-Boston Transcript.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
ScOrchPd.

Cannibal Chief-What was that 1
had for dinner?
Cannibal Cook--He was bicycle
rider, your eXcellencS.
Cannibal Chief-I thought | detected
q burned taste
Cannibal Cook-Yes. your excellen-
cy. He was scorching when we caught
him.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
$ One Oe the Intelligent.

"Have you any scruples," inquired
the prosecuting attorney, against i'll
fiicting the death penalty in a case of
Willful murder?'
"Ort to hev 'em," cautiously asked
the talesman, "or not to hev 'em, If |
don't want to set on the jury? Chi
cago Tribune.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
RunS Her In.

"And when you marry" she softly
said II hope you'll remember to invite
me to the CEREMONY
He looked thoughtful. ut will be
awfully crowded. no doubt" he said,
"but l think can ring you in some
how"
And a moment or two later she de-
clared the ring was an astonishingly
good fit.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
A Phenomenal Artist.

'He is the only true musical phenom-
enOn | ever saw or heard
TWhy do you say that?'
Because he acknowledges that he
tours the country for cash first and art
second and that this isn't his farewell
appearance" - Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune,
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Am Extreme Case.

Bjones-ADd you say Biffers is ah,
sentminded?
Observation-Disclosures Why, mau,
he's so abse1tminded that when he
ought to have a headache his corn
hurts.-Baltimore News
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
1t Muddled Him.

'Tt gets me-" confided the intoxicated
individual who was gazing into the
florists window-''it gets me! dknow
wezzer n chr'chr' chr rZannemum looks
like a Skye terrier or wezZer q Skye
terrier looks like chr chrizziannium."
But the policeman got him just then,
and the problem ceased to get him for
the time being.-Baltimore American
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04

lcal Discovery, after which
my cough disappeared en-
tirely. / cannot recommend
your medicine too highly" "
But e Golden Medical
Discovery" is not a mere
cough medicine. The cures
of deep-seated coughs, bron-
chitis, etc, are but slight
tests of the merit of this
medicine. In many cases
where there were hemorS
rhages, night-sweats, ema-
citation, and every symptom
of disease which usually
terminates fatally in con-
sumption, wGolden Med
ical Discovery" has effected
a lasting cure.
81 take great pleasure in
sending you this testimo-
nial," writes Mr.. Will H.
Whitnlire, of Arkton, Rock
ingham Co., Va, wand to
tender you my heartfelt
thanks for the restoration
to health of my son, A. P.
Whitrnire, through the use
of Golden Medical Discov-
cry aud Pleasant Pellets
"Our SON contacted q
deep cold, and had a ter.
rible cough. We called .
doctor and he pronounced
it irritation Of the bron-
chial tubes, with asthmatic
trouble, and he informed
me that my SON was liable
&~ IsA 1A .- A.. W
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04

sumption so widespread? The answer is
found i'll the general neglect of diseases
which if neglected or unskilfully treated
find fatal termination in consumption
THE GERM OF CONSUMPTION IS EN-
TTRELY HARMLESS
when the lungs are healthy. In con-
dition of health these germs are received
with impunity. It is only when the lungs
are vweak that the germ is dangerous.
For this reason the real danger to be
guarded against I'D the incipient weak
ness of the lungs the severe cold, the
deep cough, aud other affections of the
organs of respiration. These diseases
can be cured perfectly and permanently
by the use of DR.. Pierce's Golden Med
ical Discovery.
vIwas troubled with bad cold, which
settled on my lungs and left me with a
miserable cough" writes Mr.. Joseph D.
Burns, of 3I8 Huestis ST., Ithaca, N. Y.
~ used two bottles of your Golden Med.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04

1t is remarkable how virtuous and.
generously disposed every one is at
play. We uniformly applaud what
is right and condemn what is wrong
when it costs us nothing but the senti-
ment.-HaZiitt
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04
Raising His SnIarr

"You told me last week that youl
would try to raise my salary" said
Briggs.
"Oh, yes" replied his employer.
well, | did | raised it after some
trouble. Believe me, had a very,
hard time raising it this week"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-12-04

An easy way to soften hard water
denghtfully is to throw orange peel,
1nto 1t just before the water is used
Omaha daily bee., 1902-02-17

When the yellow journals and
frenSied swashbucklers were shouting
themselves hoarse for wal in the spring
Of 1898, they stigmatlzed everybody who
favored a peaceable settlement of the
Cuban conflict as an enemy of freedom.
After the war was over all who opposed
expansion beyond the Pacific were de-
nounced as little Americans" The re-
buke then administered by The Bee to
this exhibition OF intolerance is now
quoted by the World-H Herald, which was
n of the most virulent among the yell
low journals Of the war period, with a
demand that Mr.. Rosewater answer the
question why he denounces as dema-
gogues, m~ountebanks and inspired igno-
ramuses those who protest against the
administrations Philippine policy.
The Bee has never lodged an issue nor
does it propose to run away from its
record. The Bee opposed the acquisition
Of Hawaii when President Harrison
sought to annex it. 1t opposed the at
tempt to force a war upon the country
for the liberation of Cuba, believing that
Cuban Independence could be bought
cheaper with money. The Bee did not
favor the acquisition of the Philippines
while the treaty of peace was pending
before the senate. In contrast with the
World-Herald, which urged the demo-
Gratis and populists in the senate to
ratify the treaty, The Bee pointed out
the inevitable consequences of the
-treaty-namely, the permanent annexa-
ton of the islands with all the burdens
and responsibilities the United States
would have to assume. After the treaty
was ratified, nothing remained for loyal
American citizens but to uphold the
president and congress in carrying out
the letter and spirit of the treaty and in
restoring peace in the Philippines and
protecting the lives and property Of all
It's Inhabitants.
In this course The Bee has been con-
sistent, as well as outspoken. The time
for talking independence for the Fill
pinos was before the transfer of SOW
ereignty In the islands to the United
States. Those who were parties to the
ratification of the treaty and those who
favored ratification have no right now
to assail the president or congress for
discharging the duties imposed on them
under the treaty. And those who invoke
the memory of Abraham Lincoln to stir
up rebellion and sedition in the islands
and foment discomfort at home for
political ends are demagogues and
mountebanks, If not something worse.
They know their clamor can do nc
good to the Filipines and they know that
there can be 10 independent Filipino
republic before the Filipinos are able tc
govern themselves.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-02-17
PROTECT THE HOME INDUSTRY.

The duty OF congress to protect the
American sugar industry was strongly
urged by Senator Mitchell of Oregon II
a speech in the senate last week. He
declared that congress should not strike
down IN agricultural industry like that
of beet sugar. In which, on the faith of
the pledge Of protection given by the
United States many millions Of dollars
have been invested-an industry which,
IL compelled now to compete with the
more than 100000 tons of sugar that
will soon be produced annually In Cuba
must inevitably be driven to the wall
and out Of existence. He asked why
congress, while turning a sympathetic
ear to the Cuban sugar planters, should
not have some consideration for Ameri-
can farmers who cultivate sugar beets.
Let u.s." said Mr.. Mitchell, give a
helping hand to the agricuIturist, as
well as 10 the manufacturer; to the men
who toll on the farm, as well as to those
who work in the shop; to that poor.
struggling portion Of humanity who 20
AVN NAtAA III IOAAC5 " z nuAAN
toll with the rising of the sun, as well
as those who dwell In parlors of
luxury" He said that the rapid de-
yelopment of the beet sugar industry,
under the fostering care OF the protec-
tive tariff fully Justihes the estimates
that are made that IL properly protected
this industry win In the near future, at
least inside OF the next ten years. lead
to the annual cultivation OF about 3,OOO,-
600 acres OF beets. giving employment
to over 100000 people, who will receive
more than $1OO.OO0,OOO annually In
wages, and furnishing opportunity for
profitable investment 10 the extent OF
over S5OO,OO0,OO0 in capital.
Senator Mitchell contended that plac-
ing Cuban sugar ON the free list or
largely reducing the duty would not
benefit the American With
duty removed or materially reduced the
market will be controlled absolutely by
the sugar trust, which after procuring
the raw sugar at its own price will hx
a price on the refined article to be pur-
chased by the great body of American
consumers. No n can doubt this who
knows anything about the character
and methods of the sugar trust. Its
attitude in this matter has referene,
wholly to its wi ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Thu
trust understands that 1t has but on
Omaha daily bee., 1902-02-17

competitor, the beet sugar industry. If
It can destroy that the market will be
completely in its hands and the con
sumers of sugar must pay whatever
price the trust shall ask. Neither would
the Cuban producers be much IL any
benefited, for they also would be largely
at the mercy Of the trust.
1t is not yet clear what will be done
by congress in regard to this matter.
The subject will, 1t is said, soon be dis
cussed In a conference between Presi-
dent Roosevelt and republicans leaders
In congress, when probably a decision
as to what should be done will be
reached. AS is well known, the presi-
dent is very earnestly In favor Of some
concession and it is said that most of
the republican congressional leaders are
in accord with him. The p~erplexing
question is as to how far concession can
go without being disastrous to the home
industry. The certain thing in the stu
alton is, that Cuban sugar and tobacco
will not be given free admission to the
American market.