The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-07-25
A DOMESTIC VAUDEVILLE.

tic life rather nonotonous now that al
the machinery was running smoothly
and she was not compelled 10 mas9uer
ade as her own cook and houssmaid as
she had done in the first year OF her mar
rage. She told her husband that II some
thing did not happen TO give her pecu-
liar genius a chance 10 display further
possibilities she should certainly be oblig
ed TO return to her old life on the mimic
stage.
But Herbert Dean looked so stern and
disagreeable at the mere suggestion that
Edna was positively alarmed and hasten
| ed 20 assure him that she had really made
her last appearance before the footlights.
But she continued to long for the old ex-
element, the lerks. the masquerading,
with a mighty longing. and she looked
about her eager 10 ensnare any oppOr-
tunity that should be in sight. And al
most Immediately one presented itself on
| her own domestic horizon.
Mrs. Dean had in her employ as maid
a German girl named Rita, who was
about 30 years old. comely and deft, a
jewel in the housekeeping line and likely
TO remain in her service as long as she
lived for she was Of that type known as
a cUt-and-dried old maid. at the same
time Rita had for her STEADY company
a lank. gawky youth half a dozen years
younger than herself. who seemed quite
content 10 spend his evenings in Mrs.
Deans kitchen making love 10 her maid
without offering her a genuine proposal
of marriage. He was well fixed financial
~ 10 take a wife and Rita would have
been more than happy 10 accept him as a
| husband, but she was not doing the court
ing-if he wanted her he must ask her,
as her father had asked her mother back
I there in Germany. The hints and innuen-
! does Of modern courtship were as I'M
known 10 Rita as the Greek alphabet
! And just here Mrs. Deans versatile gen
ius saw an opportunity. True, it might
| result in the loss Of her excellent help,
! but what Of that II two souls were made
| happy, two heart made 10 beat as one?
| Women are natural and inveterate match
| makers and Edna Dean was no exception
TO the rule.
She had for a year or more been
| prompting Rita so that the girl should
have had her lesson letter-perfect, but
| while Rita was an apt pupil in cook
| book recipes. the language of love was
| something altogether different. So her
! mistress determined 10 take the matter
| in hand and for one evening impersonate
4 her maid and bring the dilatory swain to
/ the climax of a proposal.
No scene on the stage was ever more
properly set. all the accessories being of
the most realistic nature. Mrs. Dean
was such an exact copy of Rita when she
\ was dressed for her part in herr maids
| costume that more observing eyes than
/ those of the dense lover could not have
/ told them apart. There was only one
! danger. The mistress did not speak Ger
man. but fortunately for the success of her
| scheme. the two lovers did not use il in
| their conversation. both being anxious to
| learn the intricacies of the English lang
| uage without constant recourse TO their
/ mother tongue, an educational method of
/ their own which Mrs. Dean had encour-
! aged and commended from its inception.
! The spirit Of her old vaudeville connec-
| ton was upon her when she heard the
hesitating knock at the kitchen door
which announced the arrival Of her tenn
! porary swain. and the bright byplay Of
past days crowded into memory, but
she answered with the single word
''coam" which was familiar, and waited
with demure exhilaration that was pot
evident in her manner as she worked at
Rita's embroidery, strip Of muslin be-
tween two hoops.
''Goot evenin', Mister Schwartz. I Yhas
Yaintin' for you
so. 1t vhas warm dose evenin'."
You tink sop
Yes, 1 tink'
Mr.. Schwartz. being now seated. began
his customary inspection of Rita's work
and Mrs. Dean hoped he would not ex-
tend his attention to her hands, which
handmade in shape and contour. although
unnaturally red and large for the occas-
ion. But Carl honest fellow had never
once offered to possess himself OF one Of
Rita's hands or interfere in any way with
her industrial pursuits. After a long ST.
lence. and just as Mrs. Dean was grow
ing frantic he remarked
4 go CUP TO der pasepan grounds al
readily yet"
ITO look at some oder girl may pep
Dot may pc drue. sometimes I shust
tink den dimes off nine der man What like
dot
Den I go home BY myself Rita. I like
not dot you tink me so pad"
Mr.. Schwartz had risen, and Mrs. Dean
appalled, at the turn her Iove-making by
proxy had taken, hastily cried:
'Sit down, Carl. and don't be a goose.
loafe you so well myself, | tink every
oder vomans must loafe you too
The flattered lover did not notice the
unusual energy Of the supposed Rita's
speech and he not only sat down but
made several playful attempts 10 capture
her sewing. and in sheer desperation TO
do her stunt and get through with her
self-imposed task she said:
Sometimes you get marry by some
oder girl, ind like it not, den that you
coam py me-
ERE vhas der girl Rita, you tell me t
=
Il tink neutrality-suspicious. heardt
Carl. Dot girl 1 keel her init my two
hands.
so. Den I tell she IS here already
How you like keel yourself Rita?'
Il hear dot long time Ply you, Carl.
Dot is Won oldt story
''Dhen I tell you some new story, Rita. !
You coam py me in helt ind sickness. |
shoy ind pain, in calm or shtormy we'd
der"
''Oh. Carl! dis is so sudden shust 50 !
CUP and tell Mis- Dean il vhas beddher /
1 get marry py you. ind I see may be /
some girl vhas iookin for q b.ace py her. |
Oh, Carl. loafe YOU AHA alright already" /
But Carl, having now declared himself. l
felt that NJ least one kiss was MS due. 4
and he proceeded to take Il, much 70 the /
alarm Of the pretended Rita, who had not 4
looked for any sucn demonstration. Mis- !
tress Of the situation, however. she gave /
q very natural scream. followed by sap /
with a surprised "Ach. get owet.' few /
upstairs 10 coach the real Rita ia he part /.
OF the program. II was successfully car /
ried out. and the prolonged courtship - /
MIS-. Dean maid was happily ended 4
But Mrs. Dean herself considered II the 4
most difficult stunt she ever attempted.
MRS. NJ. I RAINE- (
A Handy Valet.
y hear that You are looking Tor 4 good /
valet. BaronZ'
Yes bur have Won any recc-nu7e-5s-