davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28

| lose more ash feefty pounds of fat und
shall no longer die of apoplexy- Wei
come home. You Yhas now like some
antelope.
dots der vhAy he speaks to his
poor old fadder. Hans. und What can
do about her?'
1T yhas awful times around" says
ash I feels bad NIT him. 81 hope he
don't do nottings more"
"But he does; he does. You know
neffer go by seoch places ash horse
races, und if Joe goes gif him some
awful 1ckings. One day he comes to
me und says:
"'Fadder, I don't like to scare you,
but maybe You go into consumption und
vhas in your grave in three months.
You vhas in der saloon all day und
don't get some fresh air. If you yhas
| to die, 1 neffer smile again. Let US
go by der country und get some fresh
air und lif to be one hoonered years
DID,
ESQ we got oudt We ride on der open
street car. und we walk, ind by und
by we comes to a place NIT high
fence upd lots of peoples going in. 1
doan' know what she vhas, but. Joe
says some horses vhas going to run
around track to keep der flies AWAY.
He likes me to go in und see it, und 1
pellet it vhas all right. By und by
ten horses vhas brought oudt. doan'
see no flies around. but my eyes vhas
poor. l vhas looking all around when
man comes oop und says vhas Pc
ter Schmidt? 1 vhas. Vhell he Will
bet me twenty dollar on dot favorite.
doan' know what he means, but Joe
explains:
'Fadder, you wait leetle. 1t vhas
all fixed oop dot der horse who gets
AWAY last comes In first. You bet
your money on dot last horse"
"Und did you do dot?" l asks.
"Of course. l doan' know nottings,
und Joe knows all about her. Yes, 1
bet on der last horse, und l lost twenty
dollars. He doan' come in ahead by
half mile. l like Joe to explain some
more but he shakes all ofer und
laughs. ha, ha, ha! und no. no, no!
ind he can't talk for two minutes. Den
he says SO many flies vhas on my
horse dot he can't run, und more ash
feefty peoples laugh at me und say
vhas some cabbage heads. make Joe
| come away und go home, und 1 belief
Will gift him some lickings when he
says my lungs vhas all right und l can
play sooch a game of football as nef-
fer vhas. Hans, l doan' know about
her. vhas my son Joe right or does be
make fun of me?'
"Vhell, it looks to me ash II he play
some games on you"
"Und' so he looks to me, und I feel
bad all oafer. He vhas my son, but
if he doan' make fun of me why does
he go no, no, no? Very we'll, I shall
go home. Joe Will come to me und
say / shall go nit him to baseball to
cure my rheumatism, und 1 Will walk
him oudt in der back yard und shumI
him four feet high und laugh ha, ha
no. no! und make him carry in two
tons of coal to keep some flies of his
hat. Hans, we vhas two Dootchmans
together und know how she vhas
Goodby, und IL you hear some yells
und whoops yon may know dot things
hat changed und 1 vhas having fur
NIT Joe"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
His Friend Schmidt Gets Into
Trouble.

Copyright, 1902. by G. B. Lewis)
friend Schmidt. He keeps saloon
around der corner, und he yhas good
hearted und innocent. He hat son
Joe who makes him lots Of troubles,
und some days der old man comes in
my shop und vhas so sorrowful dot he
sheds tears. Der odder day ! don't
hat some work to do. Schmidt comes
In und yhas awful solemn for ten min
utes. 1 pellet dot maybe his dog
vhas dead or his wife AWAY when he
says:
Hans. you vhas some Dootchmans,
und SO vhas me, und L like to speak to
you like a brudder."
$50 you SHALL says. Does your
saloon peesness bust oop?"
mo; it vhas about my son Joe. l
don't know how l shall do nit him.
He get me into some troubles almost
eafery day. Do you see my black
eye"
"Of course do. By golly, but some
pody must hat hit you nit housed"
ut vhas Joe who vhas to blame" he
says. He comes home one day und
says:
'Fadder, maybe some man comes
Into our saloon some day und won't &c
oudt until you gif him drink. If you
tight him, you yhas licked man. You
shall go und learn to box If you vhas
a boxer, you can knock eaferybody
into next week und be all right
HE speaks to me like dot, Hans
und l belief it vhas a good thing.
goes NIT him to boxing school. und
he vhas so tickled he laughs all deI
time. Dot boxing man he says he gifts
me sooch lesson dot in one time car
knock a loafer clear across der street
Maybe you don't see somebody box?'
my wife boxes NIT me sometimes.
I says.
But it vhas no sooch boxing ash
dis. l take off my coat und west und
collar und put on der gloves. Joe whis-
pers to me dot shall shump around
und strike oudt und knock dot boxing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28

say anything about the molasses being
wasted. If the jug busted, it was
bound to waste. But what I do say,
Deacon Dolby, and what l can prove
by Mrs. Gaylor, who stood at her gate.
is that when that jug dropped you
kicked the pieces OF the sidewalk and
yelled out something. She wouldn't
tell me what it was. and 1 dasn't try
to imagine. But you can't blame me
if go to bed, at night wondering if
will be spared to see daylight. It's
just possible that you didn't say any
thing but 'SugarH OF 'Pshawr and that
Mrs. Gaylor didn't hear Alright, but
you must look me in the eyes IL you
want me to believe you"
The deacon,s eyes didn't seek hers
On the contrary, he kept his fastened
on a bluejay that was hopping about
on the branches of a cherry tree, and
a grim smile passed over his face. m
some recollection came to his mind
Then Mrs. Gaylor was right" con-
tinued Mrs, Dolby after a painful 81
lence, "and 4 am justified in my fears
that may be murdered in my bed
Swearing and murder always go to-
gether. Captain Kidd never turned
pirate until after he learned to swear.
These thinRH may seem enough. dea-
con, but Eve got more to tell. When
you was shingling the smokehouse
three weeks ago. Z went over to see
Mrs. Hopkins one afternoon. While
was gone you slid on the roof and
fetched up on an old barrel with a
crash. You was stunned and didn't
say anything for five minutes. Then
you got up and kicked the smokehouse
DOOR on its hinges and said you'd
you'd But j can't repeat it. You
was heard By three innocent boys, and,
though. they told me what the word
was. they didn't know the meaning Of
it Yes, you kicked and yelled and
kicked, and if I had been home knew
I should have had one OF my fainting
spells. Deacon Dolby, is it possible
that after being shining example for
the last thirty Five years you are going
to break loose and do some awful
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28
HONEST ABE. u S. NJ.
Things Continue to Happen Along
His Mail Route.

Copyright. 1902. by G. B. Lewis)
1 found Farmer Fhurston's girl
Mary at the mafIbox as 1 drove up
the, other day. and as she WAS looking
a bit unhappy 1 asked her il anything
had gone wrong.
Say, Abe. I'm going to do some
thing desperate" she replied as the
tears came to her eyes.
''Shoo! Don't you do It,"
But will. If don't hang myself.
III run away with the first tin ped
dler who'll take me. Which do you
think is the easiest death. hanging OF
drowning?"
Neither of 'em are half as easy as
choking yourself with green tomato
Now, Mary. out with it. What's your
trouble?"
Jim Henderson don't come to zee
me any more"
"Um. Jim has been coming for
about a year?"
"Yes."
And it was an engagement p
almost"
And all Of q sudden he stops com
ing here and goes over to Joe John
sons to see his girl Fanny"
yves" said Mary. rs she fell to
sobbing.
Hold on, girl. Let's see If there is
anything worth crying about. Eve
known Jim Henderson for three years
and all he's done in that time was to
trade Off blind horse and sell half a
dozen washing machines. Jim couldn't
raise $40 in cash to save his neck. II
he takes wife, she's got to support
him. Did you ever figure on thisY
No"
Jim is 8 soft, slick talker. He's
talked to you about moonlight. water
falls, azure skies, babbling brooks and
all that, hasn't he?"
Eyes, Abe, he has. and that's what
got me to loving him."
81 thought SO. You want to remem
Der, however. that a dozen eggs &C
further than twenty azure skies and
that one pound of pork beats dozer
waterfalls. You are a chunk of CIR
with good appetite, and the babhle OF
a babbling brook don't soothe a wife
to sleep. Love is all right, my dear
but there must be pork and taters be
hind it. Where's Jim going to gel
'em p
II never thought of that" she says
as she wipes the tears away.
Tim talked of love, and you listened
but il you had asked him to spell tht
word he couldn't have done It. He
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28

few words with you this afternoon
If you don't mind 1t will be painful
to me, but 1 am a woman who knows
her duty and does it. Last Tuesday
you went up to the graveyard along
with others to see about fixing the
fence. While you were there man
came along on bike and dared you to
ride it. Instead of turning your back
on that man with dignity, what did
you do? / know. It's all over town.
You made = spectacle of yourself. You
spent half an hour hipfopping around.
That bike threw you on your back, on
your head and on your ear, but you
wouldn't give up trying to ride it until
you were almost dead. When you
came home that evening, you were
white as chalk and could hardly scuff
your feet and doctored you for
cholera morbus. Deacon Dolby on a
bike! Deacon Dolby being pitched
head over heels and landing on his
ear! Deacon Dolby making show of
himself for the amusement of a dozen
men! What have you got to say for
yourselfY'
The deacon picked up the bung OF
the vinegar barrel that had been left
| ON the bench by accident and became
deeply interested in it's structure. and
though Mrs. Dolby awaited full two
minutes, he made no answer to hel
question.
There was man putting up light
ming rods on the schoolhouse last
week" she continued, land the day
sent you to the store for spool of red
thread you went around by the school
house and stopped there for an hour
| to listen to the man. He was telling
crowd of idlers that he didn't be
| lieve the world was created in six
| days and that it was all nonsense
about the garden of Eden and Noah's
ark. You knew from the first that be
was an atheist and a bad, bad man
and yet you hung on and hung on anG
listened to his talk. Folks who saw
you. there said you looked as If yot
enjoyed it. and know that when yor
finally came back With the thread yot
didn't look at all as If you believed
that it rained for forty days and
nights If anybody had told me thai
you would listen to an atheist,
should have tainted away, but It's trut
that you did. Have you got any ex
cuses for your conductF
| The deacon had a dozen. the chic
one being that the lightning rod maj
was a good talker, but he laid dowr
the bung to pick up an old case knit,
and wonder how the handle got of
and became SO absorbed in hi
thoughts that he forgot to reply. Mrs
Dolby wound up about fifty feet of thu
cloth strip and then stopped to say:
II wanted a quart of molasses few
days ago to make some molasses cake
You took the jug and went down t.
the store. On the way back the han
die of the jug came off. and the jul
/ fell on the sidewalk and broke in tw'
and wasted all the contents. 1 don
say anything about the accident w
all know that jug handles are liable +
come on any day in the year. 1 don
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28

man oudt of der window. I like dot
idea, und when we stands oop 1 pellet
he vhas goner. l play NIT him a lee
tie while, und let him hit me six
times to encourage him. Den Joe cries
oudt for me to go in und knock him
oudt, und l break loose"
"Und do you knock der building
DOWN."
mo I thought 1 vhas playing NIT
dot boxing man. but it vhas not SO.
He vhas playing NIT me. Before l
could knock him through the window
he strikes oudt-so-und l see fire und
stars und cannon balls und go to sleep
1t vhas half an hour before L wakes
oop. but Joe vhas still laughing. like
to belief he vhas good boy und loves
his ladder. but 1 am sure he paid dot
boxing man 50 to knock me oudt II
he didn't, why should he laugh ho. no!
no! und ha! ha! ha! und roll oafer?"
"Und didn't you take but one les
SOM"
''Of course not. Was 1 some idiotsi
II l hat to fight nit some old loafer
I shall hit him NIT a chair. Was dot
right for Joe to put oop some shobs on
his ladder? Like enough dot boxing
man kills me dead or 1 vhas a cripple
for life. If your only son do like dot
Wasn't you hurt in your feelings?"
ut vhas bad to hat sooch a son." !
said-"werry, VERY bad. Vhas der
something's morer'
"Of course" says Mr.. Schmidt ash
he pegins to feel worse. "One day ]
To- OF for l<v,
und by und by he has tears in his eyes
und shakes his head. l ask him il my
brudder-in-law vhas dead, und he
says:
"'Fadder, you vhas too fat. If you
Keep on yeu vhillsfall oafer und die. ]
doan' like to speak about it und make
you sad, but something must be done
You shall go by dot gymnasium und
take exercise und be all right again.
dot seems all right to me-, Hans
und Joe goes right along to show me
der way. he don't cry any more, but
laughs more ash ten times. When We
come to dot place, hat to take of my
coat und west und practice on q pole
3daype you hat seen dot pole? Shs
vhas high COP, und you hat to shumr
COP und grab. 1 shump COP un6
shump oop, but don't grab her for 6
long time. When 1 vhas hold it, Jot
says must put my legs oafer. shall
neffer know how she vhas, but fall
on my back und smash der floor unt
faints AWAY und vhas almost killed
hat more ash six plasters on my bacl
today und can hardly walk. When ]
opens my eyes, Joe vhas going ha
ha. hal und no. no. no! und he cam
speak to me for fife minutes 1 goe.
home by an express wagon for twenty
Afe cents, und when goes to lick 10,
- says:
'Tadder. I hat saved yeur life. Yot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28

spells hog with two g's, rooster with
one 0, and he doesn't try to spell horse
at all You didn't know this. did
you?''
NO."
Il thought not. One of his babbling
brooks would drown him before he
could hit upon the proper way to spell
pork. l know the family His father
is bowlegged, his mother squint eyed,
and his sister has q harelip. Jim him
self is getting haldheaded and has q
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28


twiteh to his right leg. Lordy, girl,
but how could you be SO blind? You've
had the escape of your life. and you
ought to be singing songs Of thank
fulness. Just shut your eyes and
bring a picture of Jim before you and
tell me If he hasn't got the look of a
hyena on Wheels"
"Abe. II guess I've been a silly
girl" says Mary as she cries and
laughs by turns.
"Of course you have. All girls are
silly sometimes. A man who don't
know whether the world turns round
six or sixteen times a day has talked
azure skies and babbling brooks to
you, and you have fallen in love with
him. File on you. girl! You ought to
be glad he's taken himself Off"
"And 1 am. hope never to see him
again. Abe, I've been a goose, but
there'lI be no more of it. I'll go in and
go to churning and singing, and be-
fore night Pll try to forget all about
Jim Henderson You are a dear, sweet
man, and If you'll hold down here
Pip
"And here's one for you" says I,
and as she ran for the house with both
cheeks blushfng like roses drove on.
There was no one at the gate as l
| drove up to the Widow Danvers, hut
one of her daughters beckoned me
| from the front door. 1t was Sue, and
1 found Kate and Sarah inside with
the mother. 1t was easy to see that
all of them had been crying and scold-
ing.
'Abe, it's just this way" began the
| widow after had had glass of milk
and piece of pie. Mr.. Burbanks has
asked me to marry him. You know
him, and you know he's good man.
He's been a widower this long time,
but he's decided to get married again"
But ma is most sixty-efght years
oldv' exclaimed Sue.
"And he's most sixty-fivew adds
Kate.
And they are both ready for the
| graveP' says Sarah.
But he don't want to marry NO friv-
olous girl. and 1 don't want to marry
no silly young man." says the widow.
Uncle Jake will be good husba nd to
me and a good father to these girls"
He'll never be no father to mey'
| "Nor mev'
| "Nor mew
| "You see how it is. Abe. and what
shall do? My girls don't want to see
loved each other for years past, and
now
You ought to be ashamed Of itv'
$50 you had"
did l everv'
Girls" says l, aa takes minute
to think things over, '.love is love. II
comes to the youth sitting on the
fence and to the old man on crutches
You can't dodge it. Uncle Jake Bur.
banks is in love, and your mother Is in
love, and"-
"And SO are wer' chorused the three
girls.
kate, can you get marriedT
Eyes, sir; within week."
"And SueT
within three days."
"And SarahY'
Tomorrow"
''Then get up and do it. You are all
old enough and big enough and hand
some enough, and there might as well
be four marriages as one. I'll stop and
see Uncle Billy Post the justice of the
peace, and 1 reckon he'll marry the
four of you at once and take 81 for the
job"
II never thought of it." says the wild
ow, "but don't see Why
"Nor l." says Sue.
"Nor L." says Kate.
"Nor I" says Sarah.
'Then bless you, my children, and
may bar'ls of happiness ever be roll
ing up and down hill in front Of your
peaceful homes"
1 And they were locked in each 9th
er's arms and weeping for joy as
drove on.
MRS. DOLBY'S TALKS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28
MRS. DoLBY'S TALKS.
She Has Things to Say to the Deacon,
but He Takes Them Calmly.

Copyright, 1902, by C. B. Lewis.)
Deacon Dolby was cutting weeds in
the back yard and had taken a seat on
the wash bench to rest his back when
Mrs. Dolby quietly appeared with a
lap full of carpet rags to be rolled into
a ball and settled herself beside him
and said:
Deacon Dolby, should like to have
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-07-28
RAILROAD TIME TABLES.


6SOCk 4Bx6u0
Gin effect May Is. 1907
West-bound- Arrive. Leave
Texas Ex. No. 1...,--.......1z:50 pU Loo nm
a & Top. Elk. No. 49, R45 pm
Nsfcfff Colo. Flyer No. So. $40 pm $40 nm
"a Paso Limited No. g.. .12:40 am IL so am
Nixhf Texas Elk No. g. IL IS pm 2:15 am
SN Express No a: sos pm
e e 8 Chick Ex. 40. D. ss3o am e:3s am
East bound
East bound Linn. Ex- No 2. $50 pm 3-5 pm
Too & st. J. Elk No H.. 1886 pm
east Elk & Mail NO. 4..-. d.5Q am 4.z0 am
So "a ri Pas0 & Chicago. 4.l5 am 500 am
Col q K c. Flyer No. 10 rs am
Ton e St J. Elk No g.. 7:46 am
Cf,fck 4 K c. Elk. No. g.. $50 pm $50 plu
All trains daily, except No2 Is and So.
daily except Sunday.
Union Pacific.
WEsTBOUND.
Den. 4 Pae. Coast No. k12 % pm 1880 pm
Limited No. IT, I:I9 pm u Id pm
juno. CITY Pass No. .. SID pm e:4 pm
saiina Ex. NO n si;;Ii;i;ii in am l''esa"
tsn1s:s q e e.. 49,. e s ss :sss=
saIina Ex-- No. s-.-----.- 5:s pm $40 pm
"a G. TX No. &......-..-. b:56 pm SID pm
AMI trains dns1y .exeept Nos. 2 and -
daily except Sunday.
lEinnsnri Rncff3c.
- ArrivA Leave
Topeka~Et- aco<k Accom-
No. rs ..........s......s. 500 Dm 5'oo a.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-01
CASH TRADE IN ST. PAUL.
Not Much of Market in FIax-Narro>
Range in Corn

Not Much of a Market in FIax-Narrow
Range in Corn
Flax-So little fax was in that there
was not much of a market. Rejected in
sacks sold at $1.40. Tio. L was nominaIly
little f1rmer at $3.50. Receipts, cars,
against 2 last year: shipments, cars.
Closing prices, July, $1.50; August, 81. so
Corn-Prices covered a range of about
a cent in all grades; No. yellow brought
about 56R to 5512, and No 8 to arrive
sold at 55c. AT the close No. 8 yellow
shipments / car.
Oats-Al1 sorts of prices were heard in
oats; No white selling at 43c. 42c and
Ale. At the close this grade was quoted
4l@43c. Receipts, IS cars; shipments,
Feed and Meal-The market remains
weak and unsettled, with the price ten
dency lower Coarse cornmeal and crack
ed corn is quoted $3.50; No. 1 feed
$25 90; No. 2 feed, $24.5O; No feed,
$25;5O; granulated cornmeal in cotton
Millstuffs---Bran in bulk is quoted at
$l3; bulk shorts, $3.50; flour niddlings
$19; red dog, $21 f. o. b.; feed in 2O0oIh
sacks, 81 per ton additional; in 1OO-lb
sacks, $1.50 per ton additional Ship
ments, ], 260 tons.
Barley-At the close, feed grades are
quoted 4S@51c; mailing grades, 51@55c.
Receipts, cars; shipments cars
Rye--No. rye closed at SIC for old
and 49c for new. Receipts, cars; ship
mentS, none
Hay-UpIand. choice sS.5o@9; upland
No. 1, $7:50@S; midland, s667; medium
$12@125O; timothy, choice. S1i@ 5Tn 5S:
timothy, No. 1, $10@10.50; rye straw
choice, $3.50. Receipts, A tons.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-01
oTHER GRAIN MARKETS.

Milwaukee, Wis.-Flour steady; wheat
firmer; No. 1 northern, 7S13 @79c; No.
northern, 77@7S12c; September, 691Ac; rye
steady; No. /, 59c; barley dull; No. 2, 65@
66c; sample, 5O@60c; oats dull. standard
44@47c; corn, September, 547sc.
Kansas City, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
62A @62Bc; December, 64A @64ssc; cash,
No. 2 hard, 671a@6S1hc; No. 2 red, $50 q
66c: Corn-September, 1890; December,
white, 6312 @64.
Toledo. Ohio-Wheat closed active;
% Ser io Ssn Dee ee Tu chi HaT seP{sm
corn dull. steady; September, 55&c; De-
cember, 42%c; oats dull, old July weak,
3Sc; September, 2SHc; new July strong,
soc; new September, 32Ac; clover seed,
October S.. Is.
Liverpool-Wheat-Sp quiet; No. 1
northern spring. 6s lad; No. l Califor-
MIA, 6s 41ad; futures quiet; July nomi-
nal; September, IS; December 5s 11kd;
spot corn steady; American mixed. IS;
futures quiet; September, 5s 13sd Octo-
Der, IS 13sd.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-08-01
South st. Paul, July 81.

south st. Paul, July 81.
CATTLE-Receipts thus far this
week show an increase of about 500
head over the first four days of last
week. This increase had no effect on
the market, as it was Largely due to
train load of Westerns received but
not placed on sale. The month of July.
closing today, shows an enormous in
crease over the corresponding month
last year. In butcher cattle trade there
has been but very little change since
last week. Cow and steer stuff selling
about steady with last weeks close.
Veals dropped 25 cents, regained the
loss, and are now down again. Bulls
are selling about 25 cents lower than
last week. In the stock and feeding
division the choice cattle of all kinds
have been picked up quickly at prices
steady with last weeks close. The
medium grade stuff has been saIabIe
at steady prices, but has been slow,
while the common stuff is in very lit
tie demand and has been dragging at
prices 10@15 cents lower. Stock and
feeding bulls 25 cents lower than last
week. Best mich cows steady; Others
slow and weak.