Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-10-29
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Some automobiles can travel one
hundred miles without being repaired.
If they are shipped by train.-C Chicago
News.
Defined: Papa, what is man OF
one idea?" ANY man. my son, who.
has an idea that differs from yours
Chicago Tribune.
He-"She holds her age we'll dosen't
she?" Shelves. She doesn't look a
day older than she says she is."-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Freddy-"Pop. when do they call a
woman an old hemp" The paternal
when she becomes hopelessly set in
her ways, my son."-Ex.
"In the manager up-to-date?" up
to-date! Why he's just introduced
game of ping-pons in the balcony scene
in Romeo and Juliet" "-Tit-Bits.
An aesthetic soul: Well did she
buy the book 2" NO" replied the
clerk; "she said she didn't like the
cover design."-Detroit Free Press.
His soft answer; Angry mother
Nov. Bobby. don't let me speak to
you again. Bobby (helplessly)-"How
can l prevent you, mamma ?"-Boston
| Globe
Wanted to know: Mrs. Stubb-"They
have captured the cleverest hotel rob-
Der in the country, John" Mr.. Stubb
-"Indecd! Which hotel did he run?"
Chicago News.
He thinks of having his poems pub
lished in Dook-form.' well, that's the
best way of putting them where they
won't bother anybody."-Ph Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
He-"What more can you ask, dear?
Haven't admitted was wrong and
humbly apologized?' well, what of
it? l have no respect for man who
is that weak."-Life.
1.-THE singer has made great. strides
in the profession, hasn't she?" Yes.
indeed. Formerly, when she received
an encore, she sang; now she usually
smiles. Town and Country.
Mrs. Slumkin--"The Werdey baby is
the picture of her father." Mr.. Slum-
KIM suppose that when the child
is little older she will be the phono-
graph of her mother."-Judge.
won't you try the chicken salad.
judge" said the clearinghouse keep
err. II tried it yesterday. ma'am," re-
piled the witty judge, "and the chicken
proved an libi."-Phladelphi Record.
Might be worse: Mrs. Parvenu-
"And then the whole awful story got
into the papers" Mrs. Beenthere-
ooh, well, matters might be still worse.
1t might have been dramatized."-
Judge.
Ostentation: You say your next
door neighbors make n vulgar display
of their wealth?" Yes answered
Mr.. Bickerson; they left ton Of coal
out on the sidewalk all day yesterday"
Washington Star.
Parke-"The other day 1 was in
kind of vision, and saw my wife as
the most perfect woman in the world"
Lane-"Where We're you?" Parke-
"In an intelligence office, describing
her to a cook l was trying to engage"
Judge.
Humoring his customers: Professor
Won Note-"You hat a vine collection
off classic music here" Music dealer
-"That's for young ladies' to look over
previous to asking for a copy of THE
Honeysuckle and the Bee New
York Weekly.
Exception: This talk about inven-
tons bein' injurious to labor is all
nonsense" said Convict No. ISL. "Why
500" asked the guard. Because it is.
| a patent burglar alarm wuz the cause
o me gittin' five years at hard lahor1
Indianapolis Sun.
Her pap-"Yo' aspiah ter marry nah
daughtah. sab? HIN. Whad am yo'r
prospec's?' The sutton n widower)-
"Ebery single one Of de pussons fo'
whom nah late lamented wife done
washn' TO hab promised ter liberty
paternizc her successah."-Judge
Rules of success: What is your rule
of business-your MAKING" the Wall
Street baron was asked. Very sim
ple," he answered; pay for something
that can't get, with money that 1
haven't got, and then sell what never
| had for more than it ever cost."-Life.
Legal points: 80 he got out an in
| junction against your company" we
say pityingly; why didn't you fope-
stall him by getting an Injunction to
prevent the issuance of his injunc.
tion?" II couldn't, you see he was
slick enough to get out an injunction
against my getting out an injunction
against his Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
Dear" she said, during an interval
Of comparative sanity, promise me
one thing" anything" he answered
with the recklessness of love. After
we have been married reasonable
time, if we decide divorce is desir-
able promise that my brothers, who
are struggling young lawyers. shall
represent s."-Philadelpha North
American.
Really convenience: "Skribblcs is
writing new novel, in which the hero
and heroine are deaf and dumb" OK
plains the mutual friend. How
queerw comments the other mutual
friend. "Oh, don't know. He SAYS
it's great convenience. When he gets
tired Of inyenting conversations for
them he just has them hold hands for
the rest of the chapter, while lie writes
about the scenery or the weathcr."-
Judge
n Wonderful Ray of Light.
Albert Nodon reports to the French