Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-12-20
CHRISTMAS PRESEN rs

mighty careful about opening bureau draw
ers II his wife Is in the room. IL he doesn't
want to be scared into spasm by her sud-
den cries when she sees what he is doing
Just why wives persist in hiding the
Christmas presents they have purchased
for their husbands in the drawers of bu-
reaus that are used by both of them in
common, when there are so many actual
hiding places for such gear In most houses,
Is inexplicahle But they all do it. And
while few husbands are mean enough to
say anything about 1t, 1t is fact that
good many of them accidentally dig out
presents thus "secreted, thus hopelessly
running the "s'prise' that tl.eir wives have
intended for them on Christmas morning.
And, in connection with this gift-exchang-
ing custom between husbands and wives,
there are one two facts. that go to prove
that men are really more curious than wo-
men, notwithstanding the age-old belief to
the contrary.
For example, husband. along about this
season, in looking for a fresh shirt In, the
morning, yanks out the wrong drawer OF
the bureau while his wife is in the room
Most men invariably pull out the wrong
drawer first 1t doesn't make any differ
ence IL his shirts have been kept in the
middle drawer of the bureau for twenty
years, when he goes to look for clean
shirt it is usually about two to one that he
will haul out the top or the bottom drawer
first, sometimes accompanying the action
with a growl about the way his wearing
apparel is being constantly shifted around
by his wife. Well, he pulls out the bottom
drawer, say, and his wife. who is doing
her hair in another part Of the room,
catches him in the act just in time, emlts
her little scream, rushes over to the bureau
and pushes the drawer shut. The man
jumps when he hears the little Shrek
thinking of dynamite and all sorts of other
idiotic things, and then the business dawns
upon him. He grins foolishly.
'Oh. it's in there-'scuse me-" he says,
and then he goes on grinning while he
brushes his hair. Then he turns to his wife.
''Whatchoo got in there, any way?" he
asks her.
She makes some remark bearing on and
appertaining to rubber"
Jaw, g wan and tell me what 1t Is, he
continues, wheedlfngly.
She mentions the feline that met an I'M
timely end through curiosity.
bet it's cigars" says the man. q note
of alarm in his tone. Hope not. I'm think
ing about quitting smoking on New Year."
This statement. of course. is horrible
invention OF the moment; yet it would be
ingly for endeavoring to head their wives
Off from presenting them with Christmas
cigars.
Nothing doing in the conversational line
on his wife's part.
well. what pinhead am, to be sure"
he says redectively as he is attaching his
cuffs. II might have known all the time
that It was a shaving outfit"
His wife carefully adjusts her side combs
and refrains from talking. He sticks his
hands into his trousers pockets and gazes
at her qufzzically.
Jaw. come on, now. like a good girl and
robe that we saw in the shop window the
other night he says In his most scientific
"conological" tone of voice.
By this time she has finished dressing. She
places her hands upon her hips and faces
him determinedly.
please leave the room this instant" she
says to him.
He grins foolishly again as he slips into
keeps looking back like an overgrown boy
and says, "Well, you might let Teller see
1t, at that"
Compare the attitude of the husband,
then, in this Christmas gift business. with
the position of the wife. She doesn't want
to know what he is going to give her for
Christmas. She wants to be "s'prised.'
Say, hun" he remarks to her at the
breakfast table one morning, "Whatchoo
want for Christmas? It's up to you, you
know
up to me? The idea! How preposterous!
Why, it wouldn't be any Christmas gift at
all II told you what to get me"
well, I was thinking about getting
you
Ssh -sh-sh, Stop!'' she cries as she puts
her fingers in her ears. Don't you Care
tell met
Then. after a while, as an idea strikes
her.: .
'Os course" she says to him. musiGely,
eff you are worried about sizes. you knjw,
same sizes in everything, and She
mo" he breaks in, its nothing that
comes in sizes. It's "a
Again her fingers go into her ears. The
s'prise'' is everything to her. and she Is
resolved not to hear in advance. If this
doesn't come pretty hear proving that wo-
men are less curious than men, then moth
ing does.
Some wives. along about now. neverthe-
less have clever little way of limiting to
their husbands that such-and-such an artf-
Gle or articles is what they would most
cherish when Christmas comes along. But
their choice Is such iuctuating quantity
that the husband has to possess the acumen
of a Philadelphia lawyer to be able to sift
out at the very end, just the article that
his wife wants him to give her for Christ
mas present.
For example. they are taking walk along
the business streets.
What lovely muff," the wife exclaims.
rapturously, hating him in front Of a show
window. And isn't it cheap!'
Would you like to have that muff?" the
husband inquiries, clumsily-but he thinks
he is very off hand and secretive, indeed, in
his manner Of doing it.
Would To- she exclaims, expressively.
That's what she wants-a muff," the
husband says to himself, and he about
makes up his mind that muff is what he
will get her for a Christmas gift.
They pursue their walk, and she pulls
him up to a window where there is a neat
looking manicure set exhibited prominently.
Now, isn't that perfectly lovely, and
how In the world they can make such things
SO cheap. i do declared" she says.
HIM the husband remarks to himself.
81 guess, after all, it's a manicure set like
that one she wants."
A bit farther down the street she ex-
citedly calls his attention to a handsome
silver backed brush and a silver-bound
comb in a satin-lined plush case.
Now, pretty is no name for that comb
and brush, is it?'' she asks him. her eyes
shining. Deed. they are just giving
things away this year. aren't they?"
She wants nice comb and brush for
her dresser" says the husband to himself.
And that's the way it goes. When the
day arrives for him to purchase his wife's
Christmas gift, his mind is in tumble. II
he's pretty good feliow-and it's measure
bly, safe to say that most husbands are just
that, in Washington-he wishes he had the
money to get her everything that she has
admired in their walks, but he almost in
variably winds up by getting her a gift that
she hasn't even mentioned.