Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-11-13
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A home remedy: do you think Goa,
oil is good for mosquitoesT Il tbInt
n hard slap is better."- ."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
"Mannlsh sort of girl" as she reoI.
lyT Every. She used the telephona
for the first time In her life to-day, and
she didn't giggle once"
Tough: "Oh. Henry, don't cut vour
pie with knife" Eliza. you ought
to be thankful don't call for can.
pener."-Chicago Record.
Briggs-What's your idea of heayenp
Grlggs-Well. It's the way a man feels
the first three days after he is home
from a summer vacation.-Life.
Las Object: Cltiman-I see you raise
your own vegetables. Suburbanite-
No! simply plant a small garden So
rs to keep The chickens at home.-Life.
Reporter-You are so confident eof
catching this criminal you must have n
strong clew. Detective-We have. He
didn't wear a Panama.-New York
Sun.
''The singer has made great strides
in the profession, hasn't she? Yes
indeed. Formerly, when she received
an encore. she sang; now she usually
smiles"
A Clever Lawyer: "Is he a good law.
yer?" "a good lawyer! Why, say! I
have known him to prove the truth of
what isn't so, and not half try."-Chl.
cago Post
Making love: "As mere matter of
curiosity, sir. should like to know
how long you have been making love
to my wife," II began. sir, when YOU
left otf."-Life.
Mother-Did the professor propose?
Daughter-Dear me, mother, he was
on the very verge of 1t, and foollshly
happened to mention bacteria.-De-
troit Free Press.
Papa, what is the difference be.
tween the smart set and the four hun.
dred?" why. my son, the four hun.
dred Is limited to twenty-six hundred,
but everybody is In the smart set."-
Life
Our Two Great Glasses: The world
seems to be divided into two classes;
those who board, and envy those who
keep house, and those who keep house,
and envy the boarders.-Atchison
Globe.
"And you still insist that your flying
machine Is a practical commercial
Quantity?" 81 do" answered the bus-
ness-like inventor; ''if you don't believe
1t l can show you the gate receipts
Washington Star.
Magistrate-Now, I'll let you off this
time, but 1t must be lesson for you
not to be In bad company again Pris-
oner-Gee whizz! 1t amt my fault that
I'm here; the cops made me come
Philadelphia Record.
Lawyer Brief-I see that case OF
yours is on. Jury drawn yet? Lawyer
Skinner-Yes, and it's a splendid one.
Lawker Brlef-Above the average in
intelligence, eh? Lawyer Skinner-No;
way below it.-Phlladelphia Press.
AT Two Dollars Visit: "Yes, the
doctor has put me on the strictest kind
of Diet Indeed. What is it?'
well, he says | mustn't eat anything
l don't like, and not any more than
want of what | Baltimore News.
What are you doing?" asked the JUS
tice as the defendants counsel began
his argument. Going to present our
side of the case" IL don't want to
hear both sides" replied the justice
1T has tindincy to confuse the coort."
Driver-Did you mark the spot
where your comrade fell out of the
boat and was drowned? O'Lafferty-
Shure. Oh did. OF took piece av wood
an left it floatin' on tn wather at tn
very place he went down, sor-Ohio
State Journal.
The Real Thing: "Are you a real In
dian? asked the investigating youth
OF one Of the painted Indians who ac-
companied Buffalo Bill's Wild West
Show. Sure" replied the Indian; Il
was born an raised In indianapolis,
Indiana. na."-Exchange
Mrs. Wederly (unmasking after the
fancy balp-Oh. but didn't fool you,
though? You had no idea that you
were flirting with your wife all the
evening Mr.. Wederly-No, hadn't;
you were so very agreeable was com.
pletely Observation-Disclosures
The danger of a little knowledge:
Don't you sometimes regret that you
did not devote more time to your edu-
cation in early life?' mo, sir" an
swered the politician; 'if had learned
to talk grammatical the voters in my
district would think l was putin on
airs and driftin' away from the hearts
of the people. e."-Washington Star.
"Why did you insist on getting me
an upper berth In the sleeping car"
asked the habitually austere lady.
We'll" answered her irrepressible
niqcp s'vou hava haap axpaot;pr FOR So