The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-12-26
by GEORGE D
Author of the Girl Proposition.


copyrighted, 1902, by Robert Howard
Russell.)
THE MODERN FABLE OF THE
FAMILY THAT WORKED OVER
TINE IN TAKING CARE OF MEL
LIE.
Once there was a Happy Family that
a q Cook who was almost too Good
to be True. Her Name was Nellie and
she had come from down-trodden Eu-
rope, where Cooks nave no such Rights
as they enjoy in our glorious Country.
The Family used to declare that Mel
lie was the best sin~gie-handed Waffis
Artist in the Business, bar none. Her
Cream Tomatoes made an awful Hit
With the Company and Duck a Ia Mel
he was very hard to beat.
All the Members of the Household
thought so much of Nellie, especially
when they remembered some of the
Biacksmiths who had officiated at the
Range, that they wanted TO give her
a Merry Christmas. They wanted her
70 be satisfied with her Place n stay
on forever.
Therefore 1t came about that each OF
them, when he or she went out to do
his or her Christmas Shopping, thought
TO itself: There is poor Nellie. She
has no Relations On this side of the
Water and IL I don't give her some
thing, she'll be left entirely"
So Mother gave Nellia a swell Imlta-
ton Lambs Wool jacket and Father
bought her a Goldine Watch that pin
ned on in front. One Of the boys gave
her some White Gloves and another
6xed her up with a Brooch that II IT
lad been real Turquoise would have
cost s1,2O0. The Girls clubbel together
and gave her a SIS Zibeline Suit with
Box Reats.
On Christmas Morning the grateful;
Nellie came in to thank them but she
broke down and wept into the Waffies.
Its a Cinch," said the Family.
Wee got her dead to Rights"
A few days after that Nellie attend
sd the Annual Ball given by the Sal
vonic Pleasure and Democratic Club"
When she swept into the Rall-Room
with her Zibeline, her Imitation Lambs
Wool, the Brooch, the Watch IND thf;
Gloves, she IA Upper Fifth Avenue
held to a Tie, at least.
A Butcher named Johnson hung
around her all Evening aid soon be-
gan coming over to the House. He
offered Nellie a Home and took her
away.
Tt was six Months before the Family
found another Girl who could cook
Waf1es.
MORAL: Give them Helpful ook
THE MODERN FABLE OF THE MAN
WHO MADE A STUDY OF HIS
wIFE'S CHARACTER.
Once there was a Man who smoked a
Pipe.
He had a Meerschaum that had been
in use for so many Years that tranger
A. -%oU ~ tho Same R00n.
Finally he decided that he would
blow himself for a New One. He decid-
ed on something Ornate with Flowers
carved on the Bowl. 1t was to cost
about SIT. BY putting Channels SKIN
around IL "nG working steadl'v i"r w.
Years, he could bring 1t to a Beautitul
Color.
His Wife was dead set against the
Purchase from the very Start. She said
that ST was a good-sized Piece OF Mon
ey to throw away on a P1pe ana peslues
the Old One was good enough. Sne
was sure that it could not get any
worse.
The Husband was hurt away down in
his Feelings to think that she would
deny him his one small Luxury. de
was an Indulgent Sou and gave her Il
fair Allowance and stood for her Bills,
compared with which the SlI for the
Pine was not q Marker. H2 began tC
EGL d-ACM LlIG Ol AC 1Aa
ish Traits which had escaped him hlth-
erto.
He planned to teach her a Lesson.
TT shall omit the usual Christmas
Present. he said. IF she makes the
slightest Whimper, 1 shall hand her
some biting Sarcasm to the Effect that
/ have taken her Advice and began to
Economic. 1 could not afford to buy
a e Meerschaum for myself d
Christmas Gift for her"
He came down to Breakfast on
Christmas Morning all loaded for Rear
and there on his Plate was the Pipe
with the fat Roses craved on the Boz,
"Ive had it picked out ever so 10
said Better Half, but I was afraid you
would spoil Everything"
He sat there feeling about eight times
smaller than an English Sparrow. Then
Nature asserted itself n he began To
Lie.
'How did you like Your Present."
he asked.
ST haven't seen it yet she replied
in evident Surprise.
Maybe 1 won't jack those Fellow.
up" he said. 1T should have been de-
Hvered Yesterday Afternoon"
He rushed out and although it was :
Holiday, he broke into a Jewelers. ani
bought her a Diamond Horseshoe 81
at a slightly reduced Price, IN accoun:
of the Rush being over.
Moral: Don't buy anything just be-
fore Christmas. Some Mind-Readel
may come around and HAND it to you.
THE MODERN FABLE OF THE
YULE-TIDE BACHELOR, WHO
HAD NO ONE TO LOVE.
Once there was a fast-fading Bache-
Tor who felt as Blue as Indigo when II:
saw December 18th creeping nearer AND
nearer. The sight of the Sbop-Win,
dows filed with Dolls and Toys helped
TO fill him with large, vague Regrets
for he had no little Toodlekins waiting
for him.
For about a Week before Christina
the Bachelor was invariably saddene:
by the Reflection tina he was Kidless
During the other 81 Weeks OF the Yea
he did not seem to mind it so much.
This poor Bachelor had no Parents