Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1902-10-04
THOSE INTERFERIN'
BEARS
a Tale OF Cousin Dusenberr>J,s
Difficulties.


tion as to his domicile is that it
is over toward Pochuck, the flower of
the Drowned Lands country, came in
after watching for awhile, with crit
ical eye, operations around the station
and railroad yard. Dropping into the
big armchair, he said:
SIS that railroad out there up to the
times and stuffed with ideas, or is it
pig-headed and bound to stay in the
rut?"
The man from Pochuck paused for
. reply. None came. Then, after
awhile, he cracked his fingers, very
loud, and remarked with some en-
phasis: --.-
''Well, all there is about it is, if that
railroad out there is up to the times
and has ideas it can hire Cousin Dusen-
berry Cronk, but if it is Pig-headed and
bound to stay IN a rut it'll have to
look further, for it can't git Cousin
Dusenberry! And it wants to speak
up pretty quick, or Cousin Dusen-
berry II go somewheres else, by cats!"
Badly, the landlord, remarked to
Farmer Bill Leonard, who lives oppo-
site Goose Pond mountain, that it
seemed as if we were going to have our
summer just when fall ought to be
coming on, and Farmer Leonard said
yes, it did so. The alleged citizen of
the Pochuck bailiwick made a swoop
Tor a fly that insisted on tickling him
on the nose. He caught it, tossed it
out of the window, and observed:
That's what it wants to do. by cats,
or Cousin Dusenberry Cronk II go
somewhere else!- OF course, you've
heerd that Cousin Dusenberry had quit
EN- on the U. II. and Q. N. road?"
If anyone had heard it he didn't ad-
NIT it. The Pochuck man cracked
another finger and said:
''The u. H. and w. and Q. n. was too
pig-headed for Cousin Dusenberry."
No one seemed to care.
ut wasn't up to the times, and was
bound to keep in the 'rut," said the
claimant of a residence over toward
PochuclS, $50 Cousin Dusenberry quit"
Farmer Leonard wondered whether
the apple jack crop was going to run
short this fall, and Badly, the landlord,
said he had heard so. y shade passed
over the face of the Pochucll man, but
he said:
"Cousin Dusenberry says to Aunt
Sally Beckendarter only yesterday
Aunt Sally says he, IF there ever was
a place where solitude of the dim-lit
woods bumped itself and took the cake,
it is over along the u. H. and Q. N,
between Gas Tank junction and Peeled
Hemlock'
yet Cousin Dusenberry says he liked
it first rate when he started in on the
hankered to get close to natures heart,
anyhow, Cousin Dusesnberry had, and
there he was, he said, with his head
pressed plumb on to it and hearin' of
it thump-'cause there was only three
stoppin' places on the whole 43 miles
o. the road betwixt Peeled Hemlock
and Gas Tank Junction. One was
a sawmill, one a tannery and one an
oil we'll. The rest of the line was
woods. Cousin Dusenberry wouldn't
"a asked for nothin' better if the road
hadn't been so ding pig-headed and
bound to keep in the rut.
Zone day Cousin Dusenberry was
boomin' along with a heavy train O.
tanbarl<, lumber and oil, when about
a hundred yards ahead of 'em he see
a big bear come slouchin' out o. the
woods at one side o. the track. When
they had hummed along to within
few rods o. the bear, what did that
onmitigated bear do but step back on
the track, and, as it seemed to Cousin
Dusenberry, there it stood acti'ly max
In faces at 'em.
'Well, now, that jest more than
made Cousin Dusenberry mad, and he
pulled his engine wide open, and went
for that bear at IS miles an hour.
"'Now,' says he to his fireman, grit
tim his teeth, watch the bear meat
fly
"They went swoopin' down on the
bear like q hurricane, and Cousin
Dusenberry looked up and watched for
the shower o. bear meat he was ex-
pectin'. But it didn't shower, and he
says to his fireman that the bear must
"a been smashed to mush on the cow
catches. So he crawled out on front
lest to see how bad they had done that
bear up. There sot the bear on the
cowcatcher as cool as a cucumber. He
had reached up and took the lamp out
o. the headlight, and there he was
pourin' the oil out of it all over him
self, and rubin of it in as liniment.
at give you my word, Aunt Sally
so Cousin Dusenberry says to Aunt
Sally Beckendarter, only yesterday, 4
was su'prised!'
-"And Aunt Sally says, La sakes a
massy, Dusenberry Cronk! I should
say soI' says she.
''When the bear looked up and seen
Cousin Dusenberry he chucked the lamp
at him, and only missed his head by
not more than little bit, and swung
hisself off to the side O. the track as
slick as could be and pranced away
into the woods, and Cousin Dusenberry
! says to his fireman:
".That comes pretty ding close to,
beiA, toler'ble smart bearl' says he.
and be fireman said yes, he averaged
fair ttsmiddlin'.