The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1902-08-28
HARRISBURG LETTER.
Quay's Boiled Foot--Good Reports from the
State 5irdie" Warren Trampihg for
Penrose.
Harrisburg. Aug. 'o2.


man" Since he was called hurried
ly from his meditations in the
Maine woods to put an air brake
OH Pennypacker's silly tongue,
Quay has had no end of trials and
tribulations. He had scarcely sue
ceeded in getting near enough to
Cousin Sam to yell at him to " dry
up" when he got into a serious
difficulty with Governor Stone. He
undertook in his loving way to
command the Governor to do GER
tain things for the honor and glory
of Mr.. Quay. His excellency re-
fused, as it was the Sabbath day,
and before they parted Quay be-
came SO insistent that the Governor
lost his temper and called him some
very suggestive names not found
III the expurgated dictionaries.
PENNyPAcKER's OPPORTUNITY.
Here is another fine opportunity
for Pennypacker When he gets
his think tank in working order he
will, no doubt, be able to discover
something noble and inspiring in
all this-something approaching
real genius. He will perhaps des-
cribe in ponderous terms wherein
Cousin Matthew's hadits shine
superior to those of Webster, for as
far as we know Dan never reached
that dizzy pinnacle in the temple
of fame which inspires one with
the idea that the proper caper is to
scald his feet.
There is a wide difference of
opinion as to the real cause that
led the Old Man to burn himself so
badly. One theory is that the
wonderful eulogy and the con-
tinued praise of Pennyracker had
led him to believe that he belongs
to superior order of beings and
that by his pure, virtuous life of
self-denial he has reached plane
that would enable him, like the
Hebrew children, to pass through
fiery furnace without the smell of
fire on his garments. Others say
that his prodlgious intellect was SO
engrossed with the cares of state
and solicitude Tor the good of the
race that he abstractedly turned the
hot water OH his foot, oblivlous of
all pain until the damage was done.
FAVORABLE REPORTS.
Chairman Greasy continues to re-
ceive most favorable reports from
all parts of the state. The number
of Republicans who are growing
more and more disgusted with the
machine is constantly increasing.
The outrageous corruption coming
to light in reference to the bribery
and blackmail imposed by the ap-
preparations committee on different
institutions asking the state aid is
sufficient to disgust every honest
man in the state, and cause him to
register his protest at the ballot
box against the party which makes
such condition possible.
The case of the Clarion Normal
School which paid ten per cent. of
its appropriation to the heelers who
manipulated the matter in the com.
mittee has been fully exposed by
the Philadelphia North American.
1t proves by the guilty persons
themselves that 81, 100 was paid to
those who worked the bill through
the committee. There are other
cases still worse that will make
some high toned professors and
doctors squirm when the truth
comes to light. 1t was a great
query at the time how a certain
college got an appropriation but it
has been learned since that a 20
per cent. "rake-off" was paid to
secure it. The blood money ="
was accounted for i'll the reports by
raising the presidents salary.
BIRDIE" STILL MARBLES.
Birdie" Warren, of Pennsyl-
vania Bird Book notoriety, is going
about the state promising that all
sorts of good luck will come to
those who will stand for Penrose.
Birdie" has been a very expen-
sive ornament to the taxpayers of
-.ss.5 --,..