The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1902-10-08

= An exchange says that the letter |
'e" is the most unfortunate letter in |
the English alphabet, because it is
never in cash, always in debt, and
never out Of danger. Our exchange
forgets that the aforesaid letter is
never in war, but always in peace.
1t is the beginning Of existence, the
commencement of ease, and the end
of trouble. Without it there would
be no meat, no bread, no heaven, no
hell. This reminds US of the conun-
drum. Why IS the letter sc" like the
day Of judgement? Because it is the
end of time and the beginning Of eter.
nifty.
A nephew of Col. Lanham, of
Texas, tells the following story Of
negro baptizing in Texas: An old ne
gro preacher did the honors, and the
candidate for baptism was coal black
negro woman. The preacher led his
victim far out into the stream, where
she could be thoroughly immersed,
and at the suspicious moment he cried
in loud voice: "Be stiddy sister,
be stiddy, and you'll cum up whitah
den snow!' ooh, parson," she ex-
claimed, ''dat's askin' too much;
cream colouh'll do"-New York
Times.
"A recent novelty in invention
as combination revolver and dark
lantern. It's distinguishing feature
lies In the small incandescent lamp
situated in refecting tube placed
Immediately below the revolver barrel.
A battery in the handle of the revol-
ver may be electrically connected with
the lamp by slight pressure Of the
trigger. Thus should man suspect
a burglar in the house he can use his
revolver as dark lantern to find his
man and insure good aim before firing.
= A most singular partnership ex-
lists in CASTOR county, N. G. A negro
totally blind and one without arms
live together. The blind one works
the farm and patches as directed by
the armless one. When tkey k:tch
their mule to the wagon to drive to
market the armless one indicates to
the blind one how he should ru!! the
lines and guide the animal.
A Pennsylvania man who over
turned beehive has been cured of
rheumatism, and the dootors are dis
cussing the use Of bees for that pur-
pose. There's nothing in the idea
bull, rattlesnake or funnel-shap-
ed cloud, will cure any mans rheu-
matism. A patient has only to try
any one Of these agencies to be convin-
ed Of it.
A Harrisburg (Pa.) man on his
death bed recently directed the pay
ment Of board bill Of thirty years
standing.
- Father-"Tcmmy, quit pulling
that poor cats tail" Tom'as-"I'm
only holding on to it, pa. The cats
pulling it.
Many q sunstroke is due to
mans efforts to make hay while the
sun shines.
The summer girl doesn't appre-
c:ste the mountain scenery unless there
is man in it.
- One.half the world imagines the
other half couldn't possibly manage
to worry along without it.
- Fortunate is the man upon whose
face nature has written a letter of
crefit.
= Genius may be akin to madness,
but only the latter gets free board and
lodging.
= A woman may not be able to love
three men simultaneously, but she
can make strenuous bluff at it.
- Love may be blind; but it never
fails to hear papa's footstep on the
stair.
= Many wealthy man owes his
success to the competency Of his
subordinates.
- It is hard to get dollar into
ones pocket, but it's easy to get it
out again.
The frat problem that confronts
baby is how to make crying pay.
/ The pesky fly can never hope to
become as unpopular as the mosquito.
= The wise weather prophet lays
up an explanation for rainy day.