Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-24
DAILY SHORT STORY
In a Convenient Vehicle
copyright, 1902. by the S. s. Mcclure
Companyl

tinize the optics. After a few seconds
of profound meditation-or was it hest
tation?-he prescribed for his patient in
blindly scrawled Latin, adding in Eng
lish the direction, ITO be taken twice
day in any convenient vehicle"
BE there any show fer me to git
well, doctor?" quavered the sick man.
"Sure there is, Mr.. Simmons. You'll
be all right now in no time. These pills
will set you up at once"
Then the sapient young disciple or
1Esculapius drew OH his gloves and
gave reassuring grasp to Ben Sim
mons outstretched hand. With an en-
couraging smile all round upon the
staring little Simmonses and the pallid
wife, over whose face a CLEAN of hope
seemed to flicker, he departed, tearing
down the road at breakneck speed,
as if bound for dying patient.
Hanged If l know what ails the old
chap" he unused as he galloped along.
How is a doctor going to prescribe
for an idiot who can't give clearer ac-
count of his feelings than n dull, heavy
misery in his bones?
But Ben Simmons mended from the
hour that DR.. Bledsoe took charge of
his case. Strength and courage and
health seemed rolled up in those Won
derfuI pills, the fame of which spread
through the backwoods Missouri town.
The doctors visits soon ceased at the
Simmons cabin, for Bob Simmons after
long months of diseased liver, indis-
criminate patent medicine taking and
confinement within the four walls of Il
bedroom into which the breeZeS of
heaven were never permitted to enter
had come forth well man. To the
doctor, be it confessed, Bob's conva
leScence was as great u wonder as to
the community at large, though of this
he kept silence.
One evening DR.. Bledsoe was waiting
for his mail at the little postoffice seat
ed in an inconspicuous place behind a
newspaper which he had spread out
before him. Suddenly his attention
was reused by hearing his own name
spoken. The tone he recognized as the
drawing one of Mrs. Ben Simmons.
Eyes; Ben were in n powerful bad
way when DIR. Bledsoe TUX hold of
him. We lowed he couldn't git well.
His liver were all out o. whack. an he
were that thin it looked like it wouldn't
be long fore his hide'd be on the fence"
You don't say" calculated her inter-
locutor.
His narvous system were all gone,
an his blood were turned to water. an
his mind Were 'fected.. an he were
threatened with the fairfield fever,
am
What did the doctor dew fer him?
Dew tellr'
"Jes' some little teenty pills, Mr..
Slivens, not big as pea. But the way
they he'd to be tux was the quarest.
He writ 1t out to be taken in any con-
venient vehicle We didn't hev no
idee of the meanin' of that word. so we
borr'ed the schoolmarster's dictionary,
an, sir, we foun' out at vehicle meant
coach, wagon, cart, carriage. Well,
sir, eff we didn't jes' bun'le up Bob an
take him out twice a day in the ole
buggy out inter the country to give
him them pills. In less'n week he
were mendin' fine, an in less'n
month he were plum we'll"
"Waal, 1 dew declare! It's wonner-
ful!' interpolated Mr.. Slivens.
"Oh, 1 tell you, DIR. Bledsoe's stem
winder, he is, fer n doctor, Mr.. Slivens-
Them pills has cured half the people
in Simmons Landin'. Eff folks didn't
hev no buggy. they'd wheel their sick
uns out in wheelbarrers to take the
pills, an sure's you're Dawn they
didn't none of 'em die. You see. the
schoolmarster said the wheelbarrer
were vehicle though in course it
warn't ekal to G up an down buggy"
81 reckin the doctors fortin are
made in Simmons Landin' count of
them pills." asseverated Mr.. Slivens.
AS DIR. Bledsoe rode home that even
ing he INDUCED in loud outlaws, inter
spersed with frequent CALCULATIONS of
I'll be doggedw and emphasized with
slaps on his horses neck.
Now the extensive practice which he
had achieved In the three months time
he had been In Simmons Landing was
explained, as was Bob Simmons mi
raculous cure.
A girl down east received letter in
which her lover announced his unparal-
leled success in his new field of prac-
tice owing to his fortunate cure of his
first patient, though he did not state by
what convenient vehicle" it was done.
ut is said that doctor doesn't make
his bread until he has lost his teeth"
he wrote, 'but. darling, 1 am making
fine living already at my profession.
Moreover, 1 have got hold of some
stock in a zinc mine through my first
patient, Bob Simmons, who gave me
cool fifty thousand, worth only frac-
ton of a cent then, for my fee. BY ju-
dicious booming the stock of that COM
pany is just soaring. So, my darling,
we have no need to wait longer for
eur wedding. Your impatient and ador-