West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-09-18

seems inciincd To resume business. but W,
stu have cloud bnrsts and clyciones ts
keep us to the mark.
Major Halsey. of. Lone lack, and Colo
mel Henderson. OF Grass Valley, exchanged
shots the other day In the latter town, aud
the only damage was the wounding OF 4
dog We advised the both OF 'em long age
to do their shooting with clubs.
We are somewhat battered that the title
general" Is being pretty freely applied "a
us this summer. and yet we would not sal
under false pretenscs. We are simpl,
editor. postmaster. mayor. colonel OF the
Hcilso guards and chiet OF the fire depart,
meut.
Bill Whalcn. who used to hang out a
good deal In this locality. was buried tho
other day In New Mexico. II is needless
to add that he was hung by a vigilance
committee. and pronounced dead before
the burial Bill was man who always
ran good thing into the ground
Wc.always endeavor TO sail close TO the
ethics OF the profession but Il does seem
to be our duty Just now to remark that the
editor OF the Blue Hiil banner Is n liar.
thiet and coward. Should he differ
from this conclusion telephone message
viii always find us with the trumpet az
our ear.
AS we were re cturnIng from Wolf Creek
the other day number OF Colonel Taylor's =
cowboys struck our trail and pursued us
Tor three miles. but our cayuse held his
lead and pulled us safely through. This
is about their forticth attempt to catch us
and they ought TO become discouraged
pretty soon.
IL mas been suggested TO us over aud
over again that u we desired to lead a
hiibustcring expedition into Mexico men
aud money would be furnished. We don't
desire. We have got all the business on
hand we can attend 10. aud Uncle Sam
seems TO have more territory now than he
knows what to do with.
The assertion at the head OF our edl.
torial columns that the ARIZONA Kicker
has the largest circulation OF anything on
the face OF this earth may be doubted. but
as matter OF precaution the p,an who
doubts II had better bring two guns along
and get the drop on us before lac begins
TO talk.
MOST 81 The coroners IN this territory
instruck their jurics to bring In verdict
OF struck dead by lightning when
b.kest is found dead along the highway.
This would seem TO make out that we
have an unusual number OF lhunders,orms.
but 1t clears up all mysteries with prompt.
ness and dispatch and saves expenses to
the counties.
The Red Mountain Eagle" calls upon
500 single women OF the East to come out
here and marry 500 single men OF Red
Mountain and encourage them In their
work OF rebuilding State. We have,seen
about 900 OF the men OF the Red Mountain
district and our advice to the single
women OF the East is TO stay right al home
and die OF old age.
Our esteemed contemporary came out
last week with a challenge to us TO meet
him In mortal combat. but we shall not
take advantage OF the occasion. On the
contrary. u he feels like shooting al us we
Will face brick wall and let him pop away
at us Tor an hour or two at ten PAGES. lie
may hit the wall once or twice but we
know he won't hit us.
That we may not hereafter be interrupted
In our editorial or postofficc work we will
set Saturday afternoon as n sort OF holl.
day for people who want to shoot at us TO
drop In and pop away. Last week no less
than eight callers broke In upon US at odd
times and though no damage was done our
work suffered from the interruptions.
saturday afternoon Is the time and come
as soon after 1 o'clock as you can.
In a communication 10 this paper two
weeks ago Judge GiidersIeevc spelled
happy with only one "p" and we took
the liberty Of adding another. He now
announces that he won't be "hspy" until
he has had shot at us and we suppose VIC
shall have 10 give him an opportunity. II
Us rather bore though and there are times
when VIC are inclined TO let half breed
Indian run away with our dictionary and
boil II down for soup
We are told that no eastern editor ae.
cepts railroad pass for fear OF being bias.
ed IN favor OF the corporation. We cant
understand IL. We have three annual
passes and we like nothing better than 10
hold railroad president up by the neck
and give him shake. Perhaps IL is the
difference In the climate.
IL Is now three weeks or more since any
one pulled gun and tried 10 shoot the
hands OF the postofice clock and we are
living in hopes that the reform will last
several months TO come. We are prcpar.
ing for a surprise party however and shall
shoot as straight IN return as We know
how.
u has been definitely asccriaincd that
the man who was lynchcd 80 Blue Grass
Valley last March was william Scott Of
Iowa who had come out here TO seek his
fortune and had gobbled horse as be.
ginning. {, IS we'll enough that william
should have been idcnd6ed but we cant
sec bow ], Is going TO help his case any.
a Airavcling fakir who came into this
nelghborhood four weeks ago and sold his
liver pads Tor dollar apiece and sang the
hymn o. the Sweet By and BJ with tears
IN his eyes has been found dead near
Rocky FORD. lie either sang too swectiy
or his pads we're fraud.
The ftory in "a Chicago pfpcr that We
won 5000 on hand Of poker is the vcficst
nonsense Ia tho FIRST place the average
jackpot around here is seldom above O.
and 10 the next We never met man in this
territory who wouldn't lie down n the sum