New-York tribune., 1902-10-18
THE Talk OF THE DAY.

tba, informing. The Pun,ab returns include pro-
fessiouaI cricketers under the heading OF clowns
and tumbIers." regarding them apparently IN the
same leht as Mr.. Kiphne. The Chenah has forty
six male. seven female and sixty-seven "dfs nd
ent" rIaro tuners. and the inland State OF Nahan
re;ot-eS In the possession of 205 shipowners. In
tho schedule also appear III receivers OF stoi5n
goods" and l2s witches wizards COW Poisoners.'
etc There is n fraukness about these returns which
Is very engaging.
A 3Istake-stela-I came near missing pro-
posal .ast night
steiia-Yes He got down, on his knees; and nd !
thought he was merely looking for pins pong
bHn.-tHarpers Razar
Here is a suggestion from Paris which might IN
crease registration and attract the dilatory 20 the
polls one ingenious person there puts forward
new scheme OF his own. Why not make voting an
attractive pastime, he argues. To this end he mas
invented a musical ballot box This instrument
plays popular tunes at intervals while the polls
are open for the amusement Of electors. who Will
thus be persuaded not TO neglect to vote Moreover
this contrivance possesses another advantage II
records votes automatically and musically. When
the Tooth paper has been dropped IN II Will play
certain tune. The 2o0th will start second and
different melody. and Tho only difficulty
which may arise is that IL may be found impossi-
BILE TO tear electors away from the enchanting
sounds of the musical ballot
An Item IN Demaud-He was cutting an item
1t tells how a house was robbed. and l want
10 show it 10 my wife" he explained;
What good w!l that do?' friend inquired .s,.
a whole lot. the reply. You see this
hoqse was robbed while the man was at church
Saw. Exclaimed the friend exctedly. you
haven't got . duplicate copy OF that pdper' nave
youc'-(Chicaso Post.
A Philadelphia mother recently went calling. ac-
conpanied by her tve-yeaT-Old hoy. BeinS pret-
" child Of the Fauntleroy type, more than one OF
the women she visited said complimentary things
concernine him, all Of which he took Win que
rnodestv Before the afternoon ended. however, ne
revealed mis- ideas Of maternal pride. one OF the
women said jokingly but with serious race: My
little man. think I'll just keep You here WIN me
have no little boy Of my own. Do you think your
mother will sell you me?' No, ma am ne
replied promptly. You don't?" she asked In ar
fected surprise Why don't you think have
money enough 10 buy you2" 1T isn't that he an
swered politely. but there are five Of US you see
and She would not care to break the set
Aroused His Curiosity.-The agitated young man
5Mr Brockman YOU may have noticed that I
have been a frequent caller at your house Tor the
yes" replied the busy merchant. Il have seen
You viii not be surprised, therefore. when tell
you that / want to marry your daughter.
Let Let me anticipate any objections you might
have. Mr.. Brockman. am of good family, 1 am am
abundantly able to support wife All ask Is
Il can bring testimonials to prove all say. I
have never wanted any other girl ana --
Ana never shall want any other girl From the
first It has been a case OF - =. -. -. =, uord
Which one Of my four daughters is it you want
-(Chicago Tribune
A man Of many parts lives in Kirksville No.
according 20 his advertisement. which reads;
TONY Damate.
The Ice Man.
IS busy hut handle
few more customers
before 10 a, m.
lee ice cream OF umbrella repairin6'
I will treat you all right
Bad Forrn.-Bunker-. made horrible break on
the inks ySsrsra"S ysaG ;e1 NY ui f9@G9 f him al''
B. Ginnef-But surely that's eXegsabls Isn't ~ ia
"fIoot awa!'- philadelphia Press.
Major shattuck. Of the Signal Corps. tells an
amusing story of an oIdtime religious revival
meeting in a negro church near Savannah In or
der that the revival spirit might be quickened' IL
was arranged that the preacher should give sig
nal when he thought the excitement was highest,
and from the attic through hole cut IN the cell
ing directly over the pulpit the sexton was to shove
a pure white dove. whose flight around the ehuFch
and over the heads of the audience was eNpeeted
TO have an inspiring effect, and, as far as emouohal
excitement was concerned 60 cap the climax All
went well at the start; the church was packed the
preachers text was In the form of a dove and
as ne piled up his eloquent periods the excitement
was strong. Then the opportune moment arrived
the signal was given-and the packed audience was
scared out Of it's wits looking up 10 the ceiling
and beholding a cat, with cIothesline around It's
middle, yowling and splitting. being lowered over
the preachers head The preacher called TO the
sexton in the attic: ''whar's de dove?' And the
sections voice came down through the opening
50 you could hear Il = block: Inside the cat!'
II Makes Them Wtid--'f wonder why they al
ways call them the wild waves" says the
thoughtful one
, II don't know, but think know what makes
''Whatf'
=. 80 many fools happen along, and as room as
Wy 49, 80 ths waves they ask; What are the wild