davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

The Omaha Real Estate exchange has
voted a request to the secretary of the
Board Of Education for a list of all the
teachers and janitors on the payroll of
the school board, with the salaries paid
to each and the duties performed by
each. The exchange also makes a re-
quest for the names Of all other persons
employed by the school board, together
with the salary paid each and the duties
performed by each. This is manifestly
a search after sinecures, but the inquiry
will fall far short of the mark unless II
includes also the relationship of every
person on the payroll to members of the
board.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15
upriaht Tor Moman,s RiEhts.
Cbicaoo Chronicle

chicago ChTonlcle.
A most wise and upright judge in Maine
holds that It is not theft for a wife to go
through the pockets Of her husbands
clothes and abstract therefrom any cash
assets that she may find. His honor's die
tum merely afirms the judgment handed
down by millions of matrons in this and
other lands. The law on the subject may
be reduced to the legal maxim, finders
keepers"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

The Union Pacific Railroad company
wants its machine shop grounds to be
assessed by the acre at cornheld valua-
ton, while the grounds occupied by
other shops, mills and factories are as
sessed on a town-lot basis somewhere
near equal to the assessments OF lands
occupied by dwellings or business houses
adjacent to these concerns.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

In the tug-of-war between Nebraska
and Missouri to see which holds Nc
Kissick island cut Off by the wander
ings Of the Missouri river, Nebraska
wins. At least such is the decision Of
the umpire.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Congressman A. J. Hopkins OF Illinois
says that Senator Dolliver of Iowa is a
hoodoo. A year ago when the congress-
man was starting to Washington to attend
the opening of congress he met Dolliver
in Chicago. The senator at once brought
his persuasive powers into play and tn
duced Mr.. Hopkins to share Delivers state
room to Washington. The train was
wrecked and. although neither the senator
nor the congressman was injured they ar
rived too late to hear the chaplain make
the opening prayer. This year when Mr..
Hopkins reached Chicago from Aurora on
his way to Washington whom should he
meet but Senator Dolliver. "Come, ride
with me to Washington" said Dolliver to
Hopkins in his most ~alluring tones. NO"
said the Illinois senator-to-be resolutely.
II am going as I planned" Dolliver hated
the prospect Of a lonesome twenty-four-
hour ride and he argued accordingly. The
upshot of 1t was that he won Mr.. Hopkins
over and they started together to the cap
ital. Just west of Pittsburg the train was
wrecked. Mr.. Hopkins head was damned
so hard against the end OF his berth that
he thought his neck was broken. A special
train was hitched up and the senator and
the congressman were landed in Washing
ton in time to participate In the doings
Of the first day Of the session. Neverthe-
less Mr.. Hopkins asserts that Dolliver Is
a hOodoO.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15
Watterson's Last AnaIysIs.
Louisville Courier-Journal.

Louisville Courier-Journal
1t is a tribe early for the millionaires
to begin the naming OF presidents. But,
when they do, It will be for democracy
to exclaim, Il forbid" Then indeed shall
there arise some leader with creative wand
to assemble forces In the desolats camps.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

AS no invitations are required to par
ticipate in that little game down in
South America, several more nations
seem disposed to take a hand and ask
for cards from the dealer.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Governor Savage is in Colorado again
inspecting mining property in which he
is said to be interested. 1t is not stated
whether this is the same mine in which
some of the states money sequestered by
BARLEY was sailed.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Rnstnn Globe.

Boston Globe.
II is to be feared that rejoicing over the
discovery Of the germ OF laziness is pre-
mature. That activity which ever finds
work for idle hands to do is not going to
be checked at this late date by a mere
scientific antitoxin.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Mr.. Cudahy is not inclined to believe
that Pat Grove is now doing business in
South. Africa. In this respect Mr..
Cudahy does not disagree very much
with other people.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

An exchange has a story headed "Cold
Facts About Nebraska" The season
would justify a t~ransposition of the
adjective.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15
But Will They studyF
Philadeiphia ledger.

Philadelphia Ledger.
With twenty-one antitrust bills already
introduced in congress, the congressman
will have to learn something about mergers
before the session is over.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Minor Scenes and Incidents sketched
on the SPOT.

Newspaper correspondence at the national
capital show a poverty OF appreciation Of
the new business annex OF the White
House. They do not like Il. The archi-
lecture, the perspective. the entrances and
the exits are not at all to their liking and
they have bounced upon II with critical
pens until It has become in their estimation
what Bill Nye would designate "a low
browed architectural wart." The secret Of
their grievances is out. In the original
White House big and little callers went in
the big front door and came out that way.
There was no back door exit by which
statesmen might escape the myrmidons on
the press who held the fort in front. But
the annex is provided with a rear exit and
a safe retreat for secretive visitors. OF
course, a room is provided for the press
a room with a window commanding the
road, the path and the front door Of the
office section. Here Is a mahogany table
for Cerberus, with easy chairs conducive
to doing and a warm, equable temperature
and all the comforts OF home. Here the
gentlemen OF the press" are encouraged to
co~ngregste and receive glowing words from
accommodating patrons.
While the boys are waiting for their prey,
This way, my dear Lodge" the executive
is remarking. Perhaps you would rather
not face the press just now. This way,
through the passage into the old part, out
the eastern door, down the path, all I'M
guarded, toward the treasury. Good day,
Friend Lodge. Come sgain!"
And the senator departs by the private
exit, and the business-and mayhap even
the fact-of his call is not heralded to the
world.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Omaha retail merchants will have no
ground to complain this year about a
green Christmas.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15
stretching a Point.
Baltimore American

Baltimore American.
The rubber famine could hardly have
selected a more unseemly time thar when
all the windows are full of Christmas
goods.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

But. this will be long after we, have gone
to sleep. And, his name will not be Grover
Cleveland
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15
Good Examples to FOLLOW.

Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Conkling and Mr.. Reed proved that
distinguished public service is an excellent
advertisement for professional life.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

The contempt proceedings before the
federal court strikingly illustrate the
differences of opinion as to cuss words
and abuse. The strike breakers claim
that they have suffered mental anguish,
If not bodily pain, from insulting re-
marks dropped by the striking machin-
lists as they pass in and out of the Union
Pacific enclosure. The Union Pacific
strikers positively deny any disposition
to hurt the tender feelings of the strike
breakers or to cause them bodily in
jury, but on the contrary assure the
court that they have exhibited an alb
normal AMOUNT Of forbearance and only
talked back when they could no longer
hold down the safety valve. With such
clashing testimony before It, the court
very naturally hesitates between a repri.
mand and a referee.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

EXCITEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State Of Nebraska, Douglas County, SIS;
George B. Tzschuck, secretary of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly sworn;
says that the actual number of full and
completes. copies of The Daily, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
month of NoYemher. 1902. Was as follows:
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

New York Times: Ja~ggles-Are these
relatives Of yours near or distant?
Waggles-The ones who have any money
are very distant.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

With true southern chivalry the clerk
OF the joint committee on printing refuses
to give out the name Of the writer of this
letter, which was received recently:
Joint Committee on Printing, the Cap
itol: Gentlemen-Please do not give date
of papa's marriage in the next edition OF
the congressional directory. / am the eld-
est daughter, and the date given in the
directory is a clean ~giveaway for me, as !
am not married. All the boys look up
the date and then calculate. Papa prom
ised to attend to this for me before the
first edition came out, but says he forgot
it. / do not think any end of the govern
ment can be served by thus giving away
my age, so please attend to 1t. Yours re-
spectfully, -"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily Bee without sunosy, one Year..A.W
Daily Bee and Sunday, one Near........ 500
Illustrated Bee, one Hear.........,..... ZW
sunday Bee, one Hear.....,''...s....... ~
Saturday Bee, One .............. 15O
twentieth Century Farmer, One Year. LW
DELIVERED BY CARRIER.
Daily Bee without Sunday, per copy. 20
Daily Bee without Sunday, per week. .12c
Daily Bee Including Sunday, per week..llc
sunday Bee, per copy. 800. &c
Evening Bee without Sunday, per week &c
Evening Bee Including sunday, per
Complaints Of irregularities in delivery
should be addressed 70 City Circulation De-
OFFICES.
0maha-Tbe Bee Building.
South Omaha-City Hall Building, Twen-
ty-fifth and NJ Streets.
Council Bluffs-l0 Pearl Street.
ChiCago-l640 Unity Building.
New York-232S Park Row Building.
W~ashington-501 Fourteenth Street.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to. news and edi-
torial matter should be addressed: Omaha
Bee, Editorial Department.
BUSINESS LETTERS.
Business letters and remittances should
be Addressed: The Bee Publishing Com
pany, Omaha.
REMITTANCES
Remit by draft, express or postal order
payable TO The Bee Publishing Company.
Only 2-cent stamps accepted In payment OF
mail accounts. Personal checks. except on
Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted.
THE BEE, PUBLISHING
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Brooklyn Life: Blu there's plenty OF
money in politics." said his friend.
"Oh, yes" said the politician. but, Xix
other remunerative lines, it's overcrowded.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Washington Star: MANY a man." said
Uncle Eben, thinks he's a gettin' umin'
fob muffin, when, in reality he's done a
hahd days work fixin' up fairy stories"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Philadelphia Record: w~igwag-It makes
me hustle to pay my rent.
Harduppe-The question OF rent keeps me
moving, too,
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Senator Hanna knows how to point a Joke
or an anecdote, relates the Washington
Post. He wal bantering Senator BILLY"
Mason the other day about nursing a presi-
Dental boom.
How will you tx II about your seat in
the senate while you are running for the
presidency yourself?" retorted Mr.. Mason.
"You remember the story OF two Irish
men who got loaded?' said the Ohio sena-
tor. Their names were Mike and Pat.
They tried to stick together, but got on
different sides OF the street, and soon
found themselves hugging the same lamp
post.
Pat observed Mike, how are yer
"'oh. Dim pretty we'll. Come over here
az can't
land why?'
Because 1 have me hands full staying
where l am"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

'If / were in control OF the organization
Of letter carriers" said a member of con-
gress, quoted by the Brooklyn Eagle corre-
spondent, II would guarantee to defeat any
candidate for congress in a city district
that our men might have a grievance
against. And, further, II 1 were at the
head of the rural free delivery carriers, l
would be able to whip any candidate for
congress in the country who might oppose
the wishes of the organization. These men
have opportunities to do political can
wasting that no one else has and IL they
we're properly handled there is no telling
what their influence could accomplish. On
the train coming to Washington 1 met a
politician from Lincolp, Neb. We got to
talking about politics when he drew from
his inside pocket a long list of names and
said: I have here the foundation for tho
finest political organization ever con-
structed outside of Tammany hall. Here
is a roll of the rural free delivery car
riers In the state Of Nebraska. l propose
to organize these men for political pur-
poses. 1t may take some time to do 1t,
but the labor will be well rewarded by the
results. These men go to every house in
the rural districts throughout the state.
They talk with the farmer, his wife and the
hired man and naturally have wonderful
opportunities for molding opinion. A word
dropped here and there among these semi
isolated people will accomplish much. It's
a great scheme, and just as soon as I get
back home I propose to start the ball
rolling"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Smart Set: Mrs. Blank-Is your husband
going to Mrs. Jason's funeral?
Mrs. Dash-Decidedly notl She never re-
turned my last call.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Peckham's wife has quite a temper, hasn't
she?
wicks-I can't say. She lost It the last
time 1 was there, and 1 didn't wait to see
II she found It again.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

PUBLISHED EVERY MORNING.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Washington Star: 81 trust your son doeI
not read trashy Juvenile literature"
M indeed said the fond mother, xvii
lie says he gets all the blood and thunder
he wants in the historical novels that his
father brings home"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

E R~osEwATER. EDITOR.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

Chicago Tribune: what do you know
about this case?' asked the lawyer.
Nothing" replied the witness. I'm the
expert"
Subsequently his testimony proved con-
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-15

WNth sssssss sssssss ssANS
Complaints Of irregularities In delivery
should be addressed 70 City Circulation De-
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-07-24
THE OLD REPORTERS DREAM.
Everything Was Green from the Room
to the Stationery.

Somebody IN the crowd had said
something about curious dreams,
says the New Orleans TImes-Demo-
cTat. That reminds me- said an
old reporter, "of the rather singular
dream had last night, and l will tell
you TO begin with that reused from
my slumber with a bad taste in my
mouth. The day before one Of the
boys had been telling me about
press organization here called the
Green Pig, and in my sleep found
myself in what seemed 10 be the very
heart Of Bohemia, the headquarters
Of the Green Pig. The paper on the
wall wa, green, the furniture vas
green, the carpet on the floor was
green, green pictures were hanging
on the wall, the glassware on the
sideboard was green, and IN fact 1t
was one of the greenest places / ever
struck. Somehow, had been seized
with political ambition, and had
made up my mind TO ask President
Roosevelt to give me a certain job at
his disposal. got some stationery, a
few envelopes and some letter heads.
The lettering on the stationery was
green, and loud green at that. On
the envelope, and on the letter head,
there was a picture Of green pig
with a green tail curled up over its
back. / grabbed apen. Itwas green.
/ dipped it into the green ink bot
tie which / found on a green desk.
The ink was green. The blotter was
green; everything was green. sent
the letter on to Mr.. Roosevelt. Here,
there was some sort of a lapse in my
dreaming. The next thing, so far as
my recollection of the dream goes,
was the receipt Of letter from the
president 1t was short, curt and con
elusive. He simply told me he
thought / would find hog raising
more profitable than politics, and the
shock unsealed my eyes, and awak-
cnpd F."
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-07-24
READING NEWSPAPERS.
Says They Are the Mos, Important Source
Of Current History.

William II. Moody, secretary Of
the United States navy. contributes
10 Success an interesting article on
What a Young Man should Read
To-day" Mr. Moody believes heArti-
ly IN every mans sccumulating IL
brary Of the best books lie strongly
advises the persual Of good news
paper every day IN the following
words.
Every man should read one good
newspaper each day. do not mean,
OF course, that he should read every
thing in il; but he should 20 over the
entire contents, carefully making his
selections and reading attentively the
articles which give promise Of being
helpful or instructive. The weekly,
and. more particularly. the monthly
reviews are also OF grea; value from
the fact that they familiarize their
readers with current history which,
after all, i the most important his
tory - while at the same time
possessing some advantages over the
daily newspapers, because the editors
are not compelled TO accept first re-
ports and also have opportunity TO
correct any inaccuaoie- which may
creep into the hurriedly prepared dis
cussions Of subjects. Nevertheless,
these reviews must ever but supple
ment the daily newspapers, for We are
not content, in this age. TO wait until
the end Of the month for our news"
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-07-24
AN ELEoY.

H whom the Day In sIumbsr never found
Who ever rose as dawn began 20 trace
Its hrst fairt lines Athvsrt Nlghts son OF
gr1ur6-
TIE broad sun smiles upon his sieepir 2
face
He who through lergthsred years had
held hls Place
Cnequaied. fore most o. he braWny throns
Whose keen blades swept the fsles-ah!
eva case.
b nightlsr seyfhe at LASTLY arm more
srrUrg
oer;aken or his Own vide swath lie Les
along
No more the sleek expeetant herds VII
know
His kindly pat. his briskIy cheerful call:
mo more no nore!'-the widows wall
II woe;
With lonely soE who noW must shoulder
all.
Prone b. the restfui form behoie her
fall
Tet cheer thee. cheer thee thou hear'
fOr!orn,
stiiI lives his God ard ,hlEe. who ever
shall
ee stay ard shield. a. says your Book vel.
vorL-
Arc all is well with him sfar IL radiant
Morn.
Gone as he would have chosen. No; for
him
OF helpers .cleness the weary doom.
Ths slowly weakening hard. The shT.yelirg
limb.
The watchers stssithy tread IL dark
cred room.
Arc whispering voices. sib.iart IL gloom
such hsc bic active soul TO frenzy driven
Far better thus. Il msrhoot PRIME ard
bloom
Rlght stgrtily TO pzss-quick transport
gwen
From Jgns'E eIultani Songs 20 iub.iance
Of Heaven.
Eric Duncan. IL y. l. WitEess.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-07-24
A ToPSY-TURvY ROOM.
Man in II wAs Afraid Of Falling Up TO
the Ceiling.

tes NehAnk'
A recent writer says: "An actual
topsy-turvy room existed near Paris
some years ago and may still exist.
was the guest Of the owner Of the
house from Saturday to Monday.
lie was a bachelor, very cornwall IN
his taste, and we we're a very jolly
party Of men. When We broke up,
about two o'clock on Sunday morn
ing, one Of our number, sound asleep
on a couch in the billiard room. was
carried out hike log by a couple II
servants. Ny host gave mea solemn
wink and told me that II a sudden
summons came i was to rush from
my bedroom, or else | might miss q
sight worth seeing. wanted moth
ing but slecp-and was relieved when
the summons came TO find that II was
broad daylight. Yawning, ! followed
the valet. and found nyselfwith four
Others silently peoping through little
holes in a vail. The scene vas alb
surd. ridiculous 4 dazed man, slow.
~ waking 10 consciousness, was lying
on a plastered floor, looking up IN
horror at a carpeted ceiling. I've
heavy eouches, an easy chair, ehairr
and tables, securely fastened, stared
down at him from above The mans
eyes at last rested upon a flower pot
directly over has head, from which q
flAring rose-apparently real--was
blooming lie gave a cry, and. roll
ing over, grasped with frenzied hands
the stem Of the chandelier, which
came up through the floor The host
burst into the room with loud laugh.
They all do ~ he cried They fear
they will fall up 20 the ceiling -
Chicago Daily News
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-07-24

they had thought / meant to pun on
the names 'Bobs' and Boar"
"Say." said Jack, after he had con-
graduated me on these fortunate
stumbles. a. he called them, "one
thing more before you turn in, Bees
when did you read that book Morris
sent you;"
Il haven't read it all. Why;"
We'll. he told me you had the
keenest perception, and that he was
delighted with your opinion on II,
for il quite conceded with his own.
What did you tell him."
ooh, Jack, Pm such sinner l
replied. ~Of course l thanked him
for sending it. as | could not very well
avoid that. and he asked me II liked
it. | told him the characters were
undoubtedly charming, but that au-
thor's style seemed rather vague 10
me. And wasn't 1t, now
But JACK had gone to his room
laughing
Nothing Of unusual excitement
made ne b,under FOR some time, for
there vas a brief respite from so
ciety's busy whIry. Then one day |
sought ny brother.
JACK. said l, Mr.. Darling has
requested TO see something Of my
writing
And am l to compose the sonnet,
or whatever"
NO" .aidL This request called
for a personal touch"
Then your goose Is cooked, surep
Thank YOU, Mr.. John Merrill
said /, but am positive | should not
care 10 eat a raw one"
When are you going TO begin:'
he asked
The deed Is done" said l. And
you've got 70 approve, Tor dear caddy
and mother have"
And YOU didn't consider my opin-
ion worth asking" said Jack, sol
EMMY.
In this case II couldn't be helped,
Jack, dear .aid L. Il just plunged
in as recklessly as ever. / did try to
start II properly and wrote: Mr.. Phil
brook Darling: Dear sir,-but tore
that up, that lovely sheet Of mono
gram paper, and snatched another,
and somehow, ! twisted his name
right around. Darling Phil | said
If YOU viii insist in proposing to a
blunderbuss, YOU must not be sur
prised if It completely skaters your
future career. But, console your
self, for that erratic weapon has one
merritt does not always explode.
Come this evening. We dine at
seven
Jack SAYS that is the only credit
able piece Of work | ever did without
his superyision.-Farm and Home.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1902-07-24
HER PERQUISITES.
Privileges Of congressmAn's Wife Sone
times Makes Her Greedy.


The perquisites of cougressman's
wife, and particularly anew congress
mans wife, are one of the chief
sources of concern of her official life
at the nations capital. Sometimes,
says the Washington Star, the wife Of
a legislator has cleaned up the things
belonging to her station with SO much
enthusiasm that she has oyerreached
herself to the extent Of becoming
ridiculous. A case Of this kind was
reported not long ago from the fish
commission. A certain Mrs. NJ. G.
had heard that IL was the custom of
the fish commission to distribute fish
to the representatives in congress if
they desired to have them. This
information came just as the lady was
arranging little dinner party for
the next day and she Immediately
went to the telephone and called up
the fish commission. Explaining the
fact of the dinner and requesting
either six small or three large lob
sters.
The reply, most polite and good
natured, was that the commission
was not a market, but that if she
wanted dozen gold fish for her ac-
quarium she could have them, if that
would IN any way contribute to the
success of the feast.