West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-11-13
THE JERICHO PDSTOFHCE.
Pap Perkins, the Postmater, Tells About
0rasshoppers and Somc
M0nstr0us Lies.

and they were whoppers in size. Their |
coming and their sire gave everybody a
chance to lie. and the opportunity was not |
lost The lying began with Moses Good |
fellow. who had a farm two miles out Of the
village. Moses came in one evening for
his mail. aud OF course he was asked about
grasshoppers.
They are purity bad. says Moses. but
they might be wuss. They've eaten up all
my crops and mile OF rail fence but
shall be thankful to get of with that I
amt no man to kick ag'in what Providence
sends along
you don't mean that the hoppers have
chawed up fencesi' asks Simpson White.
"Chewed 'em right up. sir" replied
Moses. Every line fence Is gone. and
they was bcginnin' on the roadside when
left home. They divided off thousand
hoppers to rail. and Il takes 'em Just IS
minutes to cat one up was caIkerlatin'
yesterday that there was 100000 hoppers
workin on my fence at the same time
Every man who heard the statement felt
that duty to his country required him TO
tell bigger story. and next day Aaron
Simpson came in and announced that the
hoppers had eaten up all the woodwork Of
his plows and drags and wagons. He was
followed by Philctus White. who solcmnly
asserted that all The shingles had been
eaten of his barn. and then came Abner
Scott with the story that his smokehousc
and hencoop had disappeared before his
eyes.
hundred different lies were told as TO
the destruction wrought. but Il was left to
Deacon Halsy 10 cap the climax. The
deacon hadn't been feeling well for two or
three months. and il was noticed that he
acted queeriy, but no one supposed that
anything very serious was the matter He
had farm and was encouraged 10 tell
grasshoppcr stories, but for two weeks
he sat and listened and shook his head In
mournful way. He had come to be con
sidered out Of the game when he came
around one evening aud said;
Il don't know as ought to tell you what
I'm goin 10. as don't expect any OF you to
believe it. but the fact is want three or
four Of you to help me capture big
grasshopper."
How big is he 2" was asked
That's where the trouble comes in.
I've sat here and heard you tell OF hoppers
as big as Holsters but this one goes beyond
that SO fur that you'll all call me liar
He's not only the biggest ever heard OF
but he's got a tall on him like a dog"
Everybody laughed at that. and the dea-
cons eyes filled with tears as he looked
around and said:
II knew Il would be So I've lived in
this town over so years and no man can
say ever lodged the truth and yet when
came to state a solemn fact I'm turned
down. Gentlemen, I amt long for this
world, and don't propose to 90 out OF 1t
with falsehood on my lips
His earnestness sobered up the crowd.
and when he was asked for further par.
ticuiars he said
II was over In my To-scre cornheld this
afternoon. and there met the hopper
He was as big as Dan SINNERS dog over
there. and he had teeth and tail. What
want 10 do Is 10 capture him and sell him
to dime museum. I'm sure he'll be
hangin around there tomarrow. and IL three
or four Of you will come along well get
him in cage.
The deacon was the last man In Jericho
to be thought a liaf and though there
were some doubts as TO the size of the
insect. IL was agreed that the whole town
should turn out next day and make the
capture When the hour came. there
were over 10 men in the crowd Every one
Of them had told grassbopper story
within the last fortnight. and every one
was sorry that he hadn't lied little
stronger while be was about il. They were
willing 70 turn out and help capture the
big hopper. bnt at the same time they
couldn't help but feel jealous TO see
Deacon Halsy walking al the head OF the
procession
When the cornheid was reached the
crowd scattered through IT, but no one
except the deacon found anything. lie
came OCT after time leading yellow dog
and y ing the animal 10 the fence he stood
back and folded his arms aud exclaimed
Behold the giant grssshoppef Of The
world told you what whopper hc was
ba. YOU doubted my word
The crowd was laughing aud 1ecring
when a couple OF lightning rod men drove
up. The matter was explained to them.
and seeing chance 10 have some fun. one
Gentlemen ffsH TO see the humor OF
the situation. II was one OF your crowd
think ! should be wecpin instead Of
langhin'"
WHY what's the matter. asks ono.
DONE ask me % explain solemniy
replied ibe man. u never Ike ~ b. the
Bearer Of unfortunate news I did hope
10 do some business IN Jericho. but NY
hopes are dashed
lic was pressed by three or four Of the
crowd 20 explsin. and after clawing Of Tor
= while be said
~ grioves me to say it bot the whole
crowd Of you have gone crazy. That thing
TED 20 there IS grasshopper and not
There didn't tell you sos" cxciaims
Deacon Haisy ss he swings his hat and
cheers
n amt sayin it's common hopper
continued the stranger. "Dut he belongs to
the breed just the same I've seen % lust
Ike bin in DE past Two weeks. n was
YOU. wouldn't lose no time in gettiu home
and havin doctor feel of ny head You
may have been sunstruck or you may have
gradually been gOin insane Tor a year or
two Ny heart blceds for you and I do
hope none Of you will become rsyin
mauiacsF
rhe crowd waited Tor minute while
every man drew = long breath and then ID
beaded Tor The village on n run and The
single doctor for the place was kept busy
ivf VIC next week iceiinf heads and assur.
ing The owners that they were sane enough
% add up two and fr0. IL was Dcscon
Haisy who was Of bis head IS was later
Uncovered. but if was an awful scare
while V lasted and Tor the next two
months jericho stuck 30 the truth closer
Than any town Boo the United States N
anybody forgot himself snd said be rad
grown cucumber six inches long or
tomato ~ biz IS tescap be hadn't fairly
begun 70 talk before Deacon Spooner
would rise up and softly exciainu
Friends al of you who hope 20 70 10
heaven will ~ once follow me outdoafs
and dispcfse 10 your homcsi