Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-09-04
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ulS NutSl-l IN
a self-made man. Knox lafter looking
the other over criticallyl-Your excuse
is satisfactory.
Nell-What awful table manners he
has. think | shall cut him. Belle
II he continues to eat with his knife
he will probably cut himself.
Beware" said the fortune teller "ot
a tall, dark man. You are trying TO
black male me!' faltered the fair
young maid-Chicago Tribune
Excited Wife-Wake up. Henry The
house is on tire. Sleepy Husband
Great heavens! Now well have to
move agan.-Ohio State Journal.
Wigg-That pretty gii next door
screeches to beat the band thought
you said she sung beautifully Wagg-
No; | said she was a beautiful singer"
College Idiot Cndehnitely)-It doesn't
necessarily follow. Kind Friend-What
doesn't? College ldlot-Why, dog
when you whistle for it-Columbia
Jester.
The Differences: What is the differ
ence between n sewing machine and u
kiss? One sews seams nice and the
other seems so nice.-Quips and
Cranks.
Thick; BrigCs-The electric light has
gone out ON the other side of the hotel
piazza. Grlggs-Yes, | had to elbow
my way through the lovers there just
now.-Life
Reformers: "Some er de loudes talk
in reformers," said Uncle Eben,
"makes me think OF bald-headed man
goin' 'roun' sellln hair restorer."-
Washington Star.
Bertha-And so Edith has made up
with FredI How did It happenY Con-
stance-Oh, you see, II was the only
way in which she could have another
quarrel with him.
$50 he has written good play mt
last" "Oh, no; It's very commonplace"
What! It's one of the most success
full Of the season" which proves ex-
actly what say"
Hojack-Heres an account OF how
man wrote love letter and got into
trouble by It, Tomdik-I can sympa-
thize with that fellow. That's how l
happened to get married.
Nellie wrote lovely poem to Ma
bel Belle-l know, but she got mad
and tore 1t up. Nell-The Idea! why3
Belle-He headed II Lines on Mabers
Face. e."-Philadelpba Record.
Playwrlght-Fro the nature OF my
play you see 1t ought to close with
some line or significant act from the
hero In perfect accord with the feel
ings OF the audience. Crltlc-Why not
let him heave sigh of relief. then?
lnstructor-Lord Byron said that Ma.
caulay woke up one morning and found
himself famous. What great character
In American literature Is parallel to
this2 Student (who had been dozIngl
Rip Van Winkle.-Prlnceton Tiger.
At the marriage of an Albany widow
er one of the servants was asked II his
master would take bridal tour.
dunno, sab; when old mlssus's alive
he took paddle to her; dunno II he
takes a bride to the new one or not"
The President-Then you don't care
to have your name mentioned In con
nectlOn with your one hundred million
dollar gift to our universityP The Phi
anthropist-Well. you might say that
you give my name without my CON
sent.
Little Augusta was at the window.
"Oh, come quick, or you won't see itr'
she called excltedly. He's running
away" What Is 1t. dear?" asked her
mother. why. there's a horse going
down the street with nothing on but
his tall
A Very Good Days Work: Weary
WILLIE jes' put In a good days work
In thirty minutes. Prayed Fagln-Ex-
plain yerself. Weary Willle-Well, I
put In six pies, a pan Nv doughnuts. an
fOu' Jars Nv preserves Dat's a good
days work fer any woman.-Judge.
Cuplds Benefit Celia-Oh, we had
a delightful time at Ophela's an
nouncement party. Della-What did
you dOf Celia She had us submit
engaged to; the girl who guessed right
is to be maid Of honor.-Detrolt Free
Press.
There is only one reason" he said.
why have never asked you to be my
wife" what Is that?" she asked. II
have always been half afraid you
might refuse" "Well," she whispered.
after a long silence. IL should think
you'd have curiosity enough to want to
find out whether your suspicion was
well founded or, not"
Has Been.-An Engllshman went into
restaurant in a New England town
and was served for his first course with
delicacy unknown to him. So he
asked the waiter what 1t was, and the
walter replied: "Its bean soup sir"
whereupon the Englishman, in high in
dignation, responded: Il don't cari
what it's been; | want to know what it
Is. s."-Philadelphia Times.