The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-09-16
HERE AND THERE.

hEhE AND THERE
You officeholGers," sneered the man
who was vainly trying TO be one.
don't die very often, do you?" Mo-
replied the man who was one, as rs
smiled b%enignly, only once."-Phila-
delphia Press.
Worthless HuSband-'Going to leave
me, are you, Moll? Didn't you take me
for better or WorSe?" Long Suffering
Wife-"Yes, but you are absolutely the
worst. L didn't take you for that
Chicago Tribune.
Genius quoted Smuthers, lis an
infinite capacity for taking pains"
Then remarked Smithers, "old Groan-
ache must be a genine. He gets every
| ailment he hears any one else has
Cincinnati CONGRATULATIONS.
You say you have a new idea for
a story?" Yes" Something origi-
nal in plot?' well, 1 hadn't thought
much about the plot. But 1 have an
advertising scheme that will make a
fortune for any book. "-Washington
Star.
Rule of Success-"What is your rule
of bu~sinesS-your MAXIM" we ask of
the Wall street baron. Very simple"
he answers, Il pay for something that
I a get, with me that 1 haven't
SUI, III lllCIl Scll "Ld l. iSNcI Idu lOT
more than it ever cost."-Life.
The use of the telephone in surgery
is now an accomplished fact. In
searching for bullets or other foreign
substances a telephone is attached to
a metal probe and the operator is
quickly appraised of the contact of the
probe with any metal substance.-Ex-
change.
Buffalo Bill and Senator Clark of
Montana are said to be old and very
warm personal friends. When the for
mar was furnishing buffalo meat TO the
laborers on the Kansas Pacific railway,
the latter was peddling clocks, and
they were constantly thrown into each
others company Exchange.
From KansaS.-"It must have been a
good deal of a calamity when the water
overlooked your cornfield that wet sea-
son." Not such a terrible calamity.
When the water went away it left mil
lions of fish behind. I let them stay
there for fertilizers and raised the big
gest crop of corn you ever heard off,
Chicago Tribune.
His Only Request.-Judga-"The jury
has returned a verdict of guilty. Have
you anything to say for yourself before
sentence is passed." Fr~isoner-"Only
one thing. your honor. 7 trust you will
see your way clear to deduct the time
occupied by my counsers speech from
my term of imprisonment. Chicago
News.
A convenient m for the
kitchen may be made with an ordi-
nary glass jam jar and an old oil
flask. Fill the jar three parts full of
water, n after cleaning the flask
place lit in the jar neck downward.
The rising of the water in the flask
will indicate fine weather. Unsettled
weather will be foretold by the sink
ing of the water.-Fayetteville Obser-
yer.
The joint debate between Senator
Pritchard and Locke Craig, in North
Carolina, will not begin until the latter
part of this month. Senator Pritchard
will accompany the president upon the
latter's trip through North Carolina,
and will then spend some days at
Greensboro, opening the republican
headquarters there. 1t is expected that
the first debate will be held at Kinston
about the goth or 18th instant.-Wash-
lEgton Post.
Whether n not the constitution fol-
lows the flag, Cupid does, it appears,
and makes trouble thereby. The fire.
quency of marriages between United
States soldiers n Philippine women is
the subject of special report ID Wash
ington from General Chaffee, who says
somewhat suggestively, but very prop
erly withal. that rather than give the
| soldier an excuse to desert his native
wife when his regiment is ordered to
change Its location he will order him
discharged without honor."-News and
Observer.
The acting mayor of Chicago has or
| dered the destruction by the police Of
| every unmuzzled dog, mad or sane,
that is found on the streets Of that
city. some recent attacks by mad dogs
on pedestrians and resulting cases of
h~ydrophobia furnishing the excuse for
the order. How much the order was
needed in Chicago we don't know, but
if it results in the disappearance of a
sensible proportion of the worthless
brutes that infest the streets of that
and every other city the acting mayor
will be entitled to a comfortable niche
in the hall of fame.-Savalnah News.
A dispatch to the New York Herald
from Philadelphia says: Joseph M. Hus-
ton, an architect, set one OF his eEgi-
neers to work today ID plan the great
republican campaign ball which il is PRO
posed to roll from Erie across Penrsyl-
vania Immediately after the convention
OF state republican clubs. which will be
held in Erie next month. I'VE will
build a ball twenty feet in diameter
said Mr.. Huston today, and on the
surface I will have painted aot only a
map of the world. blu have the thing
designed to illustrate the progress Of
the United States and the achievement
Of the republican party. This great ball
will make a triumphal journey from
n corner of the state TO another, and
every organization which has anything
to do with its progress across the state
will be christened a Roosevelt club. One
organization will roll 1t a specified dis
lance and then surrender it to the mex
body of enthusiastic republicans. We
will also have made many souvenirs
which may be worn in the buttonhole
ard which will De identical N design
with the great ball."