The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-02-28
RISE OF A RAILR0ADER
Rudiments of the Profession That
Are Essentials.


Many railroad men will doubtless be
interested in acquiring those rudiments
of their profession that are absolutely
essential for their reaching its topmost
places. The Chicago Tribune has the
following advice:
This, the first lesson in our CORE
spondence school, leads to the degree
of Rr. P, or railroad president. Stu
dents, however, if they elect, may take
other degrees, such as Pr. Con-, or
passenger conductor; FIT. E. or freight
engineer; TT. B., or freight brakeman;
Sn. B., or section boss; or r. M, rail-
road man.
To be a railroad president is quite
casv. Students must learn to water
stock. 1t is their early training in this
important particular that causes so
many farm boys to rise to the proud
eminence of presidents of railroads.
Students must also practice writing
their biographies to give to the repor-
ters. and they should cultivate a deep
and solemn expression of manner. The
railroad president must know many
things that are required to be known
by those studying for the degree of r.
M, so the course leading to r. NJ.
will first be given.
First. Practice falling downstairs,
so as to be BILE when the time comes to
tumble off the end of a box car with
out injury. Walk back and forth on
the top of rail fence, so that you will
become accustomed to promenading
around on top of freight cars.
Second. Learn to read Greek back
wards, so as to acquire ability to read
with ease and facility train orders
written on fiimsy paper with a broken
pen.
Third. Acquire ability TO hear
whistle blowing and a bell ringing
even If these sounds can be heard by
nobody else. Many a railroad man has
risen in his profession, or at least re-
manned firmly attached to his job,
merely because when the road was
sued for an accident caused by failure
on the part of an engineer to ring his
bell or Dlow his whistle the railroad
man in question by his acutely devel-
oped sense of hearing heard plainly
and distinctly the whistle screaming
like a whirlwind and the bell ringing
SO loudly that people were deafened for
two miles away.
Fourth. Candidates for this degree
must go over to some good hospital
and remain a week TO accustom them
selves to hospital life. 1t will not be
necessary for candidates to cut off
viii be attended to after they begin
actual work on the railroad
Fifth. Candidates must bride their
families and friends to walk up to
them and abuse them for everything
they did and did not do. They must be
abused because ga is three minutes
late, because the Diamond Flyer does
not stop It Miller's Siding, because a
new station costing $2O00.0OO is not
was paid for 81 jerks COW that was
Killed by train two years ago, and
for variety of other reasons.
Sixth. Candidates should I'm some
way get used to having twenty-three
Dox cars, red caboose, two engines
and three Pullman cars piled careless
ly on top of them. They should also
try to imagine how to act most grace
fully when blowing with the nose in
the corn held at the rate of forty miles
an hour.
Seventh. Practice waving a red
nag. Railroad men who get mussed up
early in their careers before they have
a chance to get an inside job are
usually given a street crossing in a
small town to defend with red flag
for the rest OF their natural lives. 1t
would be good idea for our students
to prepare themselves for even this
humble duty.
Eighth. Get over the idea that two
trains may pass each other on the
same track. This has often been tried,
but never yet successfully accom-
plished. Trains passing each other
should invariably be on separate
tracks.
Ninth. train waiting on a side
track for the express to pass should
not have half the caboose resting on
the main track. The express probably
could jump over or go around, but ii
never does. 1t is better to have the
main track entirely clear.
Tenth. Practice these instructions
diligently and let us know when you
are ready for your degree"