Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1902-12-12

IoVinggoOd. REED II nsnieI rum INV
headwaters Of Bitter creek" And LATE
Pence OF Colorado referred TO him as
the mentor Of the Republicans and the
tormentor Of the Democrats"
On n certain occasion. when Mr.. Reed
was speaker Of the house, some one In
his presence asked how ii was that
such a cold. phlegmatic aud conserva-
tive man as Senator Proctor Of Yer
mont was so eager for war. "Proba-
bly, because he is a wholesale dealer In
tombstones," was the Maine mans re-
ply. When Proctor heard OF this a
few minutes later, he said, Il suppose.
then, that Reed is opposed to war be-
cause he is adjuster for several large
life insurance companies"
One day he was making a speech
when Mr.. Anderson OF West Virginia,
a handsome and highly respectable
member of six years service in con
gress, without rising from his seat,
logged his memory about something
he did when Speaker Reed paused long
enough TO attract the attention OF ev-
erybody and then with his most exas-
perating nasal twang said:
Yesterday | had a discussion with
Mr.. Wilson, the head of the West Nir-
ginia delegation, and today. however
unpleasant IL may be, | suppose ! will
be compelled TO have a discussion with
the tail OF the West Virginia delega-
ton"
or course, the house roared. II
couldn't help itself
On another occasion while in the full
tide of eloquence Mr.. Reed was inter
rupted by the late Amos Cummings OF
New York. Reed looked at him in q
fatherly sort of way for a moment and
then. with mock pathos, asked. Now,
Amos, must you-must you really get
your name into my speech-must your
The theatrical pose and injured ex-
preston set the house in broad grin
at the expense of the New York mem
Der.
One day when a discussion on pen
sions was dragging its slow length
along Mr.. Reed. who was the very pic
ture Of health. amused coterie OF
friends In the cloakroom by giving n
reason why he should have a pension.
1t ran something as follows: Il had
never been able to make more than
$500 or 5000 year." said he, with a
chuckle. It'll was appointed acting
assistant paymaster OF the United
States navy at salary of Sl,4o0, with
board, lodgings, uniform and two serv.
ants to wait ON me. That induced an
extravagant style OF living, which
have kept up ever since and which has
cost me thousands and thousands of
dollars, for which the government
ought in good conscience TO compen-
safe me-"
A man OF national reputation had oc'
casion some months ago TO employ the
services OF Mr.. Thomas b. Reed in a
case before the United States supreme
court, says the Saturday Evening Post.
He met the ex-speaker in New York
and, after concluding the arrangements
| for presenting the case for the corpora
| ton which he represented, said TO him
"And now. Mr. Reed. | should like tC
pay you retaining fee at once"
"Oh, never mind that now" was the
reply. "Wait until think it over, and
shall write to you"
The man was In Washington when he
, received Mr.. Reeds letter. The ex
speaker began by saying that he was
"a young fellow In the law business
and was afraid of charging too much
and concluded by saying that If $l,oot
wasn't too high he might send that
amount. The rest of the letter wa!
written In Mr. Reeds characteristic
style Of droll humor.
81 wouldn't have baked for mo
ment at paying a fee of $4,000" sale
the corporation man in telling Of 1t aft
erward, but | drew check and wrote
letter about like this
Dear Mr.. Reed-If the young fellows IL
the profession are going to be such bear
in the market, how are the older ones go
ing to make a living? ] have taken tn
liberty OF tampering with your bill by In
closing check for $500.
The next morning the man received
the following telegram;
Washington, D. C.-You are altogethe
too good for this world. 7. b. REED.
Mr.. Reed won the case for the corpo
ration.
| A good story is told in West Virginia
says Cyrus Patterson Jones, involving
two OF the former congressman iron
the snug little state and Thomas Z
Reed, the gigantic ex-speaker. The tw
West virginians are Hon. Blackburn
B. Dovener and Hon. Romeo Hoy
Freer. Both are small in stature an
wonderfully alike in their appearance
Together they went up to the ponder
Gus Maine man to be introduced.
"Humph" said Mr.. Reed. rs tina
the best the Persimmon State can doT
what do you mean?" asked MI
Freer.
Nothing" drawled the elephantin
speaker. 81 was only wondering at tn
uniformity of things down your way
suppose the horses are all ponies an
the persimnions all dwarfs''-
"Well." interrupted Mr. Freer, 'ther
is one thing in our favor-the persin
mon has more taste than the pumpkin.
The laugh was on the speaker, an
he acknowledged it by cordially grasI
ing the hands of the Iilliputians an