davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

A contributor to The Pilot fnds that
in every thousand Of the population in
Ireland 1873 bear the name Murphy.
lib the name of Kelly and 9.2 the
name Of Sullivan. These three names
lead all others by long gap. The
somewhat popular notion that the Mes
and the O's stand at the head Of the
list of Irish surnames Is thus disposed
nI
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08
Kitchen Maxims.

A good manager looks ahead
There is no work like early work.
Clear as you go. Muddle makes
more muddle.
Spare neither soda nor hot water
in washing up greasy articles.
Dirty saucepans filled with hot
water begin to clean themselves.
Not to wash plates and dishes
soon after using makes extra work.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

committee rooms set Off last year
in the space formerly occupied by
the Congressional library. The
walls of several of the rooms are
decorated with allegorical figures
of females clad in floating robes and
representing 'Truth." "Science"
and other moral things.
"Who are those ladies', John?"
asked one of the party.
"oh," replied Kean. "they are pic
lures of our typewriters."- Wash
ington Post.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08
MOVING THE LAWN

is not hard work if you have the
right kind . of IA mower. Now this
kind is just what We & Co. are offer
ing to patrons. Easy running, of ex-
ceeding durability, perfectly adjusted
bearings and self-sharpening knives.
carefully hardened and tempered.
WATSON 6 BANCROFT
$40 Main St.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Chimer-I'm surprised that you should
speak SO unkindly OF Miss Gusch, She
speaks well of YOU. She was telling me
that you loaned her n book OF your
verses. and she thought them lovely.
Rimer Yes: so she told me. but when
she returned the book the pages were
still uncut-Cathoic Standard
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Impassioned Lover-Teli me. my an
gel. what to do to prove my love oh.
that I might. like some knight OF old.
battle for you. suffer for you. die for
you,
Sweet Girl wish you would give up
smoking.
Impassioned Lover-Oh. come. now;
that's asking too muchl-Chicago Trib-
une
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

"What do you think we had better
do about this man who keeps saying
things against youT
"Let him alone" answered the prac-
tical politician. when the people get
tired of hearing him. they'll say that
he's n bore and that I'm probably
much misrepresented man. Washing
ton Star.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Furniture has all advanced from
10 to % per cent, but / have such
large stock you can purchase at old
prices. Call and inspect my stock.
Avery's. 3al -3a3 Main street
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08
From the AutomoblIIsts view.

First Chauffeur-Have any bad
luck during your trip yesterday?
Second Chauffeur-Oh, l ran over
a man. but | don't think ! hurt the
machine any.-Ohio State Journal.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08
Presents In View

Miss Bloomfield thought you
told me you intended to give Mr..
Homewood the mitten.
Miss Beliefield-Oh, we'll, I'll wait
until after Christmas. = Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

FOR RENT-One large front office
room, also one pair of good sized office
rooms. Steam heat, water, painted
walls and other features.
See Guy U. Hardy.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Telephones at &c a day in Lincoln
Park, Fruitmere and Four Mile. Ask
Philip Hamlin about it at tele-
phone No. 8. tt
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Landscape gardening done. Flower
and lawn speciality. Address Louis
Fricke, city, or leave orders at the
Record office. 1871
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

To make June wedding entirely
proper and successful in every phx-e.
I'll. engraved announcements or invita-.
tions should be ordered of Tn. Record.
They will he the swell.st aud latest
IL we fix them up for you.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Garden tools, hoes, rakcs. spades,
shovels, forks and every thing you can
use on farm or garden. We handle
the best quality of tools. Ellis Il
Hood.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

For next ten days you can get Side
boards and Davenports at big reduc-
tion at Avery's. 32l-323 Main street.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08
Picture. Of the TypewrIters.

Senator Kean of New Jersey was
showing some friends through the
capitol. He came to the fine new
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08
Mystic Shriners

The Denver & Rio Grande will sell
tickets to San Francisco or Los Angeles
atsss40 round trip. Selling dates June
Sd to Sth inclusive Final limit July
81, 1902. Go one way, return another.
Enquire at d. & r. G. ticket office.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Save expense and eliminate the heat
from the kitchen by using an oil or
gasoline stove. We can show you
some good ONES. ELLIS & HOOD.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Speaking of crocodile Tears" did you
ever see n whale blubberf Kansas
City Independent.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

DIR. Kalman G. sapero. the well
known eye and ear specialist, from
Dcnver,is at the stratbmore. He will
remain until Sunday, May II. Con-
sultarion and examination free.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Teacher-James, you may tell
where the Declaration of Independ-
ence was signed.
James = Please, ma'am, at the
bottom.-Indianapolis News.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Lawn mowers are in season. If the
old one doesn't work let US sell you a
new one. Ellis Hood.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

McNelly & Blackburn for the bc.,
of meats. s9tf
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1902-05-08

Take Record Want Ads for most any
complaint. They will help you.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22

FOR SALE-Lots and lumber. on time
Make rent pay for home. Withdraw
offere shortly. Cleaveland. 10 y. Main.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22
SITUATION wANrEp-rhALE.

---7-"~0~-~0~0-~
WANTED-WOrk as bOOkkeeper or
cashier; good references furnished. Adj
dress NJ. r. Blanchard, Abilene kan
I25-3tX
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22
ZOE sALE-24 Iots in Logan addition. So

FOR sALE-Twelve lots. in Buckeye ad-
dition $50 per lot.
Two lots on Pattie avenue, just south
of Kellogg street. 500 per lot
-Four lots in Maple Grove addition, $50
Fer lot
Three lots on South Washington, north
or Kellogg. for $500.
Five lots corner of Emporia and
Twelfth streets. 81 800.
Eight lots on College Hill. S20.
-Four lots corner of Eighteenth and
Main, 81, 600.
Two lots on South Main street. IN sth
block, $500.
Two lots corner of Ninth and Lawrence.
81 500.
Two lots on North Market. between
Twelfth ana Thirteenth street, $500
-Four lots or Hydraulic, In second
block south of Douglas, 500.
so feet, corner of Thirteenth and To-
peka, 81 80.
Four lots on Fairview avenue, between
Fourteenth and Fifteenth street. 1920.
l. you want TO buy a home. see the g.
Z Spencer Realty Co. we have the
largest list of improved property in the
city.
Insurance written in first-class compa-
MES. G. X. SPENCER REALTY CO.
Il5-tf POI East Douglas.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22

FOR SALE-Northeast corner Twelfth
and Emporia 125 feet by 40 deep, 81, 500.
Reese & Co, IL Z. First street.
133-su- -th-tf
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY - $40 may
make $1,000. If YOU are the lucky one
and get lot ]. block 20. in the grand dis
tribution of lots on the town site of
WeWoka, capital of Seminole Nation.
Nov 20. 1902. See Wheeler & Newman,
local agents. 1l6 \. Market. 10-29-6t
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22
soYs WANTED.

g~-~~-~-~~-----~~---~S~---
WANTED-A boy about Il or - years of
age. 10 do light work. Can at III \.
Market. l33-tf
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22

FOR SALE-The IS feet, northeast corner
Emporia and Pine, and 10 feet on
southeast corner Eleventh and Santa
Fe, 1915. Reese & Co., ll2 E First.
121-tf
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-10-22
BUSINESS PROPERTY Foa SALE.

FOR SALEThe finest business corner IN
Wichita VIII be or the market in ten
DAYS II YOU want the choicest business
property in Wichita. call al once. All
sen = Dickson. IL SedgWlck building.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
How One Author Advertised

John Habberton, the author of Hell
ems Babies" said to his publisher.
when the novel was about ready to ap-
pear, 'If you want to save the cost of
a great deal of advertising just giveme
500 copies of this book and I'll guar
antee to distribute them so that We'll
have a success without cents worth
Of advertising beng needed" The pub
Usher, little reluctantly, took Mr.. Hab-
berton at his word. The author there
upon made a list of all the important
book stores in the United States, and
learned the name Of the head of the de-
partment Of fiction in each store. Now,
the heads Of all book departments are
all f1ends in the collection of autograph
first editions-that is, with the authors
signature upon the imprint. There is
scarcely an exception to this rule. Mr..
Habberton, being wise in all that con-
Germs book stores, accordingly sent to
each head a copy of "Helen's Babies"
that contained not only his autograph.
but a pleasant letter also that eXpa-
tiated on the merit of the work. The
heads were delighted. They instructed
their saleswomen and salesmen to
boom .Helen's Babies" to recommend
it to every hesitating customer. And
thus the book succeeded, though it
would have succeeded anyway upon
its merit.-Philadelph Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
Age of Giant Trees.

An age as great as five thousand
years has sometimes been ascribed to
the giant trees of California. Prof.
Charles E. Bessey Of the. University
of Nebraska regards this estimate as
very much exaggerated. He says that
he once counted with great care the
rings of growth of a tree felled in
1858. and which was fully twenty-four
to twenty-five feet in diameter, so that
it's stump served as the floor of dane
ing pavilion. The rings numbered
1,147, and that number would repre-
sent the age Of the tree in years. Prof.
Bessey adds that he gravely doubts
whether any of the existing trees ap-
proach the age of two thousand years.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
In Can and Bells.

The funny woman per Sc is a pest-
lence in the land. Carelessly and
roguishly she seeks only to make the
world laugh, sends her merry shot and
shells here and there, and takes no
note of the wounded in the field. 1t is
she who holds up our weaknesses to
ridicule, reveals our secret ambitions,
and makes puns upon our most solemn
observations.
Now, as blessed as humor is and as
healthy as laughter Is, there are some
things in the universe which are not
funny. But it seems that there is moth
ing good enough or sacred enough to
escape the confirmed joker. Often it
is a mere fippancy wearing the genial
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11

Oregon City, Ore, Jan. 49, 1902.
pliance with the provisions of the act of
Act for the Sale of Timber Lands in
the States of California. Oregon, Nevada
and Washington Territory" as extended
to all the Public Land States by act of
August 4, 1892.
LINDLEY BROWN,
Of Cottage Grove; County Of Lane. State
his sworn statement, No. 5612, for the
purchase Of the nwA of Section No. 8. IN
and will offer proof to show that
the land sought is more valuable for its
timber or stone than for agricultural
purposes, and to establish his claim to
ceiver of this Office at Oregon City, Ore,
on Tuesday, the 9Th day Of April 1902.
of independence, Ore; ]. NJ. McCaleb, of
independence. Ore: L: c. Gilmore, of In
dependence. Ore; o. A. Kramer, of Inde-
pendence, Ore.
Any and all persons claiming adversely
the above-described lands are requested
to file their claims in this office on or be-
CHAS. B. MOORES, Register.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11

dinners, pink teas, so-called literary
lectures, receptions, balls and theaters.
You spend your time in gossip which Is
stupid when it is not wicked.
you shirk motherhood, and when
you have children they are mostly in
trusted to mercenary hands. You
grovel with astonishing alacrity to
gain admittance into social circles
above your own. and cannot conceal
your asinine contempt for people sup
posedly below yourselves. You reduce
your reluctant duty Of charity to paltry
offerings for a few famous institutions.
This is the sort of life society woman
leads. What right have you to meddle
in philosophy. literature and politics?
SIT is a mere accident of birth that
you are not factory girls or dry goods
saleswomen. And. were you such, can
you feel certain that you would have
the courage to prefer honest. laborious
misery to blameworthy ease"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
U. 8, Land Office.

Oregon City, Ore, Jan. %, 1902.
Notice Is hereby given that in COM
pliance with the provisions of the act Of
Congress of June g. 1873 entitled "An
Act for the Sale of Timber Lands in
the States of California. Oregon, Nevada
and Washington Territory" as extended
to all the Public Land States by act Of
August 4, 1899,
o. DELL IRELAND,
of Portland, County of Multnomah, State
of Oregon, has this day filed in this office
his sworn statement, No. 5615, for the
purchase of the seA of Section No. 49, in
Township No. 1S south, Range No. west.
and will offer proof to show that the land
sought is more valuable for it's timber or
stone than for agricultural purposes, and
to establish his claim to said land before
the Register and Receiver of this Office at
Oregon City, Oregon, on Tuesday, the
8th day of April, 1902. Y
He names as witnesses: Minnie Ire
land. of Portland, Ore; Willard Ireland,
of Monmouth. Ore: G. E. Ireland. of In
dependence. Ore; Pearl Cooper, of Port
land, Ore.
Any and all persons claiming adversely
the above-described lands are requested
to file their claims in this office on or be-
fore said Sth day of April. 1902.
CHAS. B. MOORES, Register.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11

guise of true humor, and for the ac-
compartment of pitiful pun the high
est and purest themes are dragged
down and turned to laughter and con-
tempt"
The funny woman, in spite of her
brilliant conversational qualities, is
rarely social success. Unbridled wit
and tact are fnfmical. The wag who
is bursting with a mot will hardly ever
repress it just to preserve harmony.
Now, when one wants a dinner party
does not feel safe In inviting a guest
who may, in moment of exuberant
fun. create one of those awful pauses'
so dreaded in society, or innocently en-
rage some eminent parsonage by tell
ing home shot" Genius for humor
is like any other sort of genius-you
must take it as you find it, and it is a
very difficult thing to confine in
straight jacket of conTentionality.
The funny woman is not usually a
winner in the game of hearts, though
she may succeed in affording her men
friends excellent entertainment. The
ideal girl-that paragon of mans fam
cy-is not usually she who is prone to
puns and who is likely to find funny
spot in the most sentimental situation.
Men may admire quickness of wit in
the abstract. but they are not SO apt
to fall in love with girl who is always
making "smart speeches" They are
as disagreeably startled by sharp wit
on the lips of a pretty girl as though
they had found pepper IN their ice
cream.
Dear. funny woman, we would not
laugh always, nor live perpetually in a
shower of mental fireworks. Ever and
again we pine to commune with the
earnest, grave and jokeless friend with
whom we may discuss some profound
and solemn theme without being met
by fusillade of feeble puns and with
cisms. We know you are very. funny.
but ones face aches with. continual
smiling, and an exclusively funny diet
is about as sustaining as a ration of
mere pepper and salt. Truly there is
a time to laugh, but it is not all the
time.-Woman's Home Companion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
U, s. Land Office,

Oregon City, Ore, Jan. 23 1902.
Notice is hereby given that in COM
pliance with the provisions of the act of
Act fsferS fer ths sale of Tmber I'm sn'an Lands in
the States of California. Oregon, Nevada
and Washington Territory" as extended
to all the Public Land States by act of
August 4, 1892,
J. M. McCALEB,
of Oregon, has this day filed in this office
his sworn statement, No. 5611, for the
purchase Of the neA of Section No. s, in
Township No. 13 south. Range No. west,
and will offer proof to show that
the land sought is more valuable for its
timber or stone than for agricultural
purposes, and to establish his claim to
said land before the Register and Re
ceiver of this office at Oregon City, Ore,
on Tuesday, the Sth day of April 1902.
He names as witnesses: o. L. Brown,
Of Independence, Ore; J. E. Hubbard, of
Independence. Ore: C. E. Ireland, of In
dependence, Ore; o. A. Kramer, of In
dependence. Ore.
Any and all persons claiming adversely
the above-described lands are requested
to file their claims in this office on or be-
CHAS. B. MOORES, Register.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
"To THE JgoeMInT DAY."

When things went wrong, grandfather
he'd say:
"WeIl, the world rolls on to the Jedg-
mint Day;
An what should we sigh fer-an' why
should we care?
The reckonin's comm somehme-some-
where!
Bear with the winter, an dream o the
May;
The world rolls on to the Jedgmint Day..
When things went wrong, an we knelt in
dust
To thank the Lord fer the poorest crust,
An the old-time friends that we thought
we knowed
Had left US friendless along hfe's road,
1t was always nothin' but this to say:
The world rolls on to the Jedgmint
Dayr
30 we stifed the sigh, an tried fer tn
song,
Known God made the right, and would
reckon the wrong;
An trouble seemed lighter, an even the
night
Had stars never dreamed of to make 1t
bright.
We can bear, we can suffer along the
worlds way,
Fer "the world rolls on to the Jedgmlnt
Day"'
Atlanta Constitution.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11

light shining out of the darkness. and
it is this fact that William Hill Morgan
of Kentucky, makes use Of in his trap,
which consists of light inclosed in a
metallic hood and provided with a re-
fiector and glass face, the latter being
set in a slanting position. The lamp is
attached to one edge of the tray con-
tanning mixture of kerosene oil and
water, and the angle of the glass in
front of the light causes the insects to
fall into the liquid when they strike
against the smooth surface. With a
number of these traps set at the sides
of a field a short distance above the
plants the inventor claims that the
injurious moths and other insects will
exterminate themselves without the
trouble of searching for them.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
QUAINT KOREAN CEREMONY.

Weird Rites of Releasing a Soul from
the Pangs of Purgatory.
The ceremony in the old South Gate
says the author of q delightful paper
on Korea.
In the middle Of the dense crowd fill
ing the pavilion was a rectangular
space. At each end stood a man with
a big fold of loose cloth in his arms.
Beside each of them a woman stood.
Around them ran the folds of the
cloth, which also crossed the rectangle
diagonally. On the folds were Chinese
characters, and in the midst of them.
in the open space. stood the sorceress.
wearing red shirt with red bands over
her shoulders. and long, loose sleeves
Hopping in the air. With her was an
old woman beating big cymbals to-
gether. Before them were the widow
and son of the man whose spirit was
by this ceremony to be released from
hell. At one side woman beat drum
resembling two hour glasses, and be-
hind her were three great tissue paper
figures suspended in the air and wav-
ing wildly. These represented spirits.
The crowd stunned them awesomely.
On the floor before the sorceress was a
little table holding two peeled melons.
one red, one yellow, some wine in
green bottle and three green apples,
which it was pleasant to think would
surely give the little devils cholera
morbus. The widow, an ugly. Scared
faced woman, poured out some wine
and Frustrated herself before the table
several times. The son, well-dressad
fellow, did the same, while the sorcer-
ess, kneeling down, beat the cymbals
to call the devils to the offering. A ma
tive told me that the man had been
dead four years, that the devil had pre-
sumptive rights for three years, but
that the deceased could now be got off.
provided, Of course, the moutong wom-
an was satisfied with her remuneration.
When the performance lasted three
days it would often cost 500. The
pieces of cloth would be burned. the
native said, to make a ladder for the
spirit from hell to heaven. The surplus
folds in the mems arms went to the
sorceress.-Les1e's Magazine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-04-11
Interest in an Interesting Function

Interest in an Interesting Function.
| Mamma, when you sneeze a sneeze
where does it go to?"
SIT goes into the air. suppose. dear. ~
And when something scares it away,
go?"
81 don't know, child. Don't bother
me-"
"Does it go back to where it came
from, mammaW .
''Oh. 1 suppose so. Run out and
play"
''Then you've got to sneeze it some
time, haven't you?"
Likely as not"
"If you was to sneeze all the sneezes
you had ON hand. would you ever
sneeze any more, or would there be
new sneezes to-
willie. wish you would let me
alone"
what keeps the sneeze from coming
out when it starts?"
"How do know"
"Why is it, mamma, that some peo-
pie say 'k-choo' when they sneeze, and
some say 'k-chee?"
willie, if you don't"
Johnny Dickon says if I'll give him
five cents he'll sneeze through his ears.
Can he do 1t, mamma"
mo, of course not, dear"
How do you know he can't?"
"Because- Willie, if you don't stop
bothering me I shall certainly"
Mamma, what is a sneeze?''
Whack! Whack!-Chicago Tribune.