The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-01-30

-..,.s,sl at.
"Who says automobiling is not ex-
ercise?"
IN A MERRY MOOD.
1870 a. m.-Dimpleton-I was de-
tanned at the Off ,e. Mrs. Dimplcton-
Was it worth seeing?-Life.
PA, what's the difference between
wit and humor?" You don't need to
use dialect to make wit funny."-Chi-
cago Record-Herald.
Miss Smilax out? Didn't she get
my note this morning." "Shure, sor,
l thought it was bill, from the face
she made. '-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
School Board Inspector-Who is it
that sits idly by doing nothing while
everybody else is working? Bobby
The teacher.-Glasgow Evening Times
Todd, your wife has a voice like
velvet" Gracious, Don't talk so
loud. If she heard that I'd have TO get
her a new dress to match it.''-Tit
Bits.
She-But I would M 'er marry a
man who loved me for my good looks
He-Of course not, dear. 1 never
thought of such thing.-Philadeiphia
Bulletin.
She-AEd SO you are bachelor.
Well, there is always hope for bache-
lors He--That's so. It's never abso-
lutely certain that they will marry
Brooklyn Life.
Miss Passay-Here's portrait of me
that l consider good. It's by an anna
teur, and it's rather faded, but
Miss Slye-Yes, it's very life-like-
Philadelphia Press.
Marie told me that after reading
those French articles against the wear
ing of corsets she left hers off, 81
suppose it was time for her to retire"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Pessimist-What would you do If fl
nancial misfortune befel you on the
verge of winter? Optimist-Oh, I'd
have my SHOES half-soled and go
straight ahead.-Detroit Free Press.
81 wonder why" said the pale. in
tellectual young man, Cupid is always
so much more active during the win
ter months" He has to do something
to keep from freezing" said the mat
ter-of-fact young man.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Bride discussing the eventl--It
seemed to me that there was a slight
hitch while we were taking our posi-
lions at the chancel. Groom-Possi-
bly,. But it was nothing compared
with the hitch that followed.-Town
and Country.
Mrs. Tompkins-Do you think your
sons life is bhghted by that cruel
girl? Mrs. Simpson-Oh, no; Archi-
bald is too much infatuated with him
self to be seriously injured by any ex-
ternal love affair-Detroit Free Press.
'It is true" said the person of high
ideals, that you have attained pros
perity by your writings. But you
have produced nothing that will live"
We'll" answered the comfortable lit
of which shall live, myself or my writ
ings. 1 don't hesitate to sacrifice my
writings "-Washington Star
The hostess don't know as your
mamma would like to have me asI,
you to take another piece of pie, John
ny. Johnny-She won't care, s long
as it doesn't cost her anything; do yer.
ma? Mamma (smiling sweetly)-You
naughty boy, to say such things,
Johnny got mis- other piece, but his
peace of mind is troubled at that smile.
Boston Transcript.
Dazzler-There a mean streak in
Smiths composition. I'm sorry to say
it. but l must Merrill-I've always
supposed Smith the most liberal man
in town Dazzler-So have |; but a
week or two ago l borrowed dollar
from him, and when he saw me to-day
he looked as if he wanted me TO pay
him. Rather low down, it seemed to
me.--Boston Transcript.
my friend" said the very severe
person. treasure the precious mo-
ments. Think, with the deep awe
which the subject deserves to COM
mand, upon the fact that time is swift
~ feeting and stays for no man"
That's all right" answered the CHEEKY
citizen; 81 want it to fleet If time
were stationary ia be out of work
You see. I'm a watchmaker"-W Wash
ington Star.