The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1902-03-14
MRS. WILKINS PHONE

glued to telephone receiver, listening to
'Si' Bilkins down at ''the corners" talk
ing to Jim" Henderson up at the NC
Nish place." or to pete" Lanniran con
versing with Susie Biggs, "old" Squire
Biggs' second darter by his fust mar
( riage.'
! The introduction of the telephone into
the country was the dawning of a new
| day for this woman. Her life had been
lonely one. For over ten years she had
been confined to her bed She lives with
| her son and daughter. The son is al
ways too busy around the farm and the
daughter around the house to permit of
| their being much with their mother. ex-
cept for the hours following supper. and
so the Widow Wilkins had lonely time
of it.
| She didn't get much sympathy, either.
The neighbors couldn't understand why
she didn't either die or get well if she
was sick. Farmer Matthews said that he
allowed the wilder were just too lazy
tew draw her breath, an she oughter
be ashamed of herself tew act like that"
Widow Wilkins got her revenge when the
party line Telephone was put through the
county and carried down tie road on which
her house stands. Her son subscribed and
a telephone was duly installed in the house.
There are ten other subscribers on the same
line. The widow discovered quite by acct
dent one day that she could listen to what
other people were saying on the wire
without their being any the wiser. When
the widow found this out she was happier
than when Robinson Crusoe was when ne
found Friday.
1t had been hard work for her to keep
in touch with current events and the
happenings down at Elmtown, five miles
away. Suddenly she discovered that all
the events, news, scandals, political in
trigues and miscellaneous gossip of all
sorts were, so to speak, kept right in
her room, nice and fresh every day, and
all she had to do was to turn on the tap
and let it run into her eager ears. The
first day the widow discovered that
"Bill' Dawson was going to sell his
farm for $1,000, that ''Tom" Yunt wanted
to be constable, that "Bill'' Aliens cow
was dead, and that Spruce Hawkesby
was sparkling Luke Twanby's Sue.
After she had discovered all of these
state secrets Widow Wilkins had to
hang up the receiver SO as to give her.
self the opportunity to lie back in bed
and gasp. 1t was more news than she
had heard before for two weeks.
''Lawsy sakes alive" said Widow VIII
kins, them new-fangled things do beat ALL
The next day Widow Wilkins had
the receiver at her ear before break
fast. She heard some more strange and
startling information. Malinda Haw-
kins was talking to some man in the
city about selling out her millinery
store, and Pete Saunders was swearing
at the man down at the sawmill for not
sending up the sills for his barn. 1t made
the widows blood run cold to hear the
fights of rhetoric used by Pete but some
how she could not put the receiver down.
"Orful orful," sighed the widow, "to hear
that Pete Saunders talk that way. He used
to be in my Sunday school class, too.
wonder eff he's swearin' yet. III see."
And she hurriedly picked up the re-
ceiver.
The widows room used to be rather
dull place to spend an evening, and her
son and daughter were wont to yawn
many times before nine o'clock, and wait
wistfuly for the hour to retire. But
now it was all different. The widows
room was turned into social club. The
widow became most delightful con-
versationalist.
The various church societies and the
quilting bees were never fond of holding
any of their meetings at Widow Wilkins.
The members said it was because Widow
Wilkins lived SO far away, but the fact was
that Widow Wilkins, confined as she was to
her house and having few visitors, was la
mentally ignorant of good lively morsels
of gossip and an afternoon at the widows
was unusually uninspiring. But some way
all of the societies, the quilting bees and the
sewing circle began going over to Widow
Wilkins to hold their meetings. She had
seemed to suddenly acquire a wide and
comprehensive insight into the lives of those
who lived around her and her converse
ton was most interesting.
But after awhile the farmers who had
telephones on the party wire that ran
through the widows house became tired
of having their secrets spread broadcast
over the country. Farmer Thompson
found out that everything he told Iii
Miller and Bowers was known to every
member of the Baptist Aid society, and
Farmer Thompson knew well enough
that only one or two members of the
Baptist church had telephones. Farmer
Thompson had his suspicious, so he
said, but he decided to wait until he was
sure.
So he sent decoy telephone message
to Hi Miller. He told Hi that he intended
to set up saloon Eat the corners" and sell
the best Kentucky whisky at two drinksfor
five cents.
"sno," said Hi, KANT do that,
Thompse."
eyes, kim" said Mr.. Thompson. Its
goin' ter be moonshine Ticker, Hi, from
down in Kentucky"
Better look out fer revenooers," an
swered Hi.
The next day the report was spread
broadcast that Farmer Thompson was going
to start saloon and sell moonshine whisky.
Farmer Thompson traced the report down
to Widow Wilkins. He went up to see Wild
ow Wilkins
'Widder," said Mr.. Thompson, 81 hearn
tell you circulated the story that was go
in to start saloon and sell moonshine"
The widow began to weep. "Yes, did,
Thompse," she said. "But it was the best
fun ever he'd in my life listening to that
telephone. You hain't laid in yer bed,
Thompse, fer ten years er you'd know what
bessin' that telephone wuz ter me, and l
hope you amt a goin' to say anything to hev
it taken out. Honest, / hev been gettin'
halter every day since fhet talonbona'e