Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1902-12-10
Or. Wares Kissing Bill.

question-" Now, we had prepared
for this column nice lot of cut-and
dried subjects, but the temptation
towrite upon this kissing law was ire
sistsble. But really, the subject is
so mirtb provoking that it is impossi-
BILE TO think Of it without laughing.
Wh,n we first saw some items in
the papers about it we thought il
was one of Mark Twsin's jokes; il
sounded like his lamentations over
the tomb of Adam, but since Mr..
Ware seems to be in earnest, we want
{, know where the fool killer is, for
if be does not visit Richmond soon
Virgins will be the laughing stock
of the country.
When Tallyrand was execusing
himself for marrying beautiful but
but very silly girl, he said: "Sbe was
such an absurd fool that she amused
mr;;" and that is the way with this
proposed law, its absurdity makes
it amusing.
Now, there is only one little spot of
Eden in the world-one little oasis
in the desert of life, Que place where
the sky Is always blue, where the
song birds keep time to the music Of
fSllings waters, and we all own a bit
of this land in the realms of love, snd
kisses are the only coin current there.
and this man Ware is trying to cheat
us out of that.
If this sort of thing keeps on, life
will not be worth living. If microbes
and germs are to rule our actions it
is great pity they were ever discov-
cred or invented. The. only way we
can keep clear of them is to live as
St. Simon Stylites did-on top of a
column; for if we come within ten
feet of anybody We are in danger of
inhaling their microbe-ladeu breath,
and hat will be as bad as kissing.
The top of column will be the only
safe place for US; but the most of us
would prefer risking our lives in
kissing those who are dear to us.
rather than a safe isolation away
from them.
Why, this DIR. Ware Is a regular
iconoclas. and in breaking up all our
images and symbols be would cause a
revolution in both Church and State:
for if the symbol of love be abolished
the little god Cupid will be so scared
that he will not preside over many
marriages, and so the minister's fee
will decrease and the population also
This law will reduce marriages
fully 90 per cent. and the country
will be filled with love-lorn old
maids in Winchester our city ought
to protest against any law that is
likely TO increase the number.
But it is not only the time hal
lowed kiss of love that is to be abol-
lshed. but even the proud young
father and mother must have Ger
iiiicate before they can be allowed to
kiss their own baby. Why, even n
sour old maid auntie could not pos
silly hold a baby in her arms without
kissing 1t from its rosebud lips to its
'tooisie- wootsies."
Now if the law will only affect the
men whose breath is foul withtobac-
co aud whiskey and the women who
chew snuff, why let it pass; no one
wants to kiss them any way, but all
the Legislation in theworld will not
effect the kissing habit.
Though honor, wealth and fame NAV
miss Us,
We hope there will still be some to kiss
MS;
We will kiss them back till life has
fled,
They will kiss our marble lips when
dead;
May our loved ones or ct us with
kiss.
From kissing to books is not such
! long step, for the books We love
best have all some kissing in them,
from the Bible to Shakespeare and
from Shakespeare to the latest novel:
ont we shall only speak of one of the
hate novels in this article, "The Vir-
glnian," by Wister, and dedicated to
Roosevelt. 1t is a breezy, realisti.
nook and clean one, though it deals
With cowboys and cattle and rough
diamonds generSlly.-"Vale" in Win
chester Star.