Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-05-03
Rachelorhood.

1t is one of life's little ironies that. 50
FAR as men are concerned, the world adj
vocates matrimony, and puts a premium
upon celibacy. An unmarried man is a
perpetual storm center of interest 10 ev-
cry woman in the community in which he
lives. As soon as he is married none are
50 poor as to do him reverence-not even
his own wife. And yet we wonder that
wedding rings are at dsdsg0mt.
Now, ther are three classes Of unnar-
ried men. There are men who are born
Old blcnelOrs, men who achieve old bach
elorhood and men who have Ole bachelor
hood thrust upon them.
The man who is born an old bachelor
deserves no more credit for what is a
freak of nature than the man who is born
dumb deserves credit for not talking toe
much. He can't help it. He was made
that way.
In his cradle ne evinces a distaste for
feminine society. He bites, and kicks
and screams at his nurse, and while still
in pinaforeS he displays Il contempt for
the feminine intellect, and refuses to be
controlled by his mother.
4 little later, at school. he eats his red
apple instead of presenting it to some
little girl with pigtail. and he buys mar
bles with his pennies instead of investing
them in chewing gum for the behoof of Il
juvenile flame.
He is also unlike other boys, in that
he is possessed of Il spirit OF neatness
and order, and keeps his pocket handker-
chiefs in orderly piles in bureau drawers.
In place of using them for kite tales.
As a young man, he views every girl
with suspicion. as having designs of mar
fying him against his will. and while 9TH
CIR youths are faving over Maud's eyes
he is figuring up hcw much it costs to
pay modern mundane angels dress
making bills.
Occasionally the born bachelor gets
married-mistakes will happen-but no
matter how many times he is dragged to
the altar he remains a bachelor still. 1t
Is impossible to domesticate him, and he
never becomes broken to driving i'll d0u-
Die harness.
He is the sort of husband who is al
ways critical and captious, who looks
under the bed and on the mantel shelf
Tor dust, and who invariably audits his
WIfe's dressmaking bills.
The man who achieves old bachelor
hood is of quite a different caliber. He
Is among the cleyeFest, and most adven-
turous of his sex. Unlike the man who
IS born an old bachelor. the man who
achieves single blessedness does not shun
the thought of matrim0ny.
He delights In it. and plays with it.
lie recognizes it as an erer-preSent dam
ger, and it gives to his life the same sort
or awful Zest shat the sportsman feels in
ut any moment the tables may be turned
dnd the pursuer become the pursued.
lie adores women's society, and is
known as a ladies' man. He is to be
. round at pink teas aud afternoon recep-
tIons, and invariably aiorns the opera
box Of the prettiest debutante of the sea-
sou. he IS a connoissnur in feminine
eaarms, and his dictum settles the crown
sof belledom among rival beauties.
Much experience in loye-making has
1nade him an adept that causes other men.
d contrast, to seem mere bungling anna
sle1lrS. He can gauge 10 mathematical
hacety inst the amount Of pressure that
#Ahould 20 into a hand clasp. and the
siroper degree of wistfuI pathos to throw
@alitu glance.
lie is apparently always on the verge
- proposing. but he never proposes, and
IN vain is the net of the fowler spread
before him He Is a fly bird. and he al
Nays tiutters- away at the psychological
MlomeDt.
lie loves women. but he loves himself