The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-09


Farmer Hornbeak-M ebbe so, Eloen; but
you'll have to agree that it's pretty long
step from a broken back to an unbroken
front.-Puck.
Professor was sorry to see you. leav-
ing. before my Violin -soIo7he other even
ing at Mrs. x. s musicale.
Sweet Young Thing-Yes. Wasn't it too
dreadful"
When Uncle sam sets to digging the
transisthmian canal he will, nevertheless.
not be mira dig--Boston Transcript.
$50 you have at last settled on name
for the baby"
yes m. First we named him Hobson.
then changed it to Dewey, an afterward
to Funston Sch1ey johnson. But
we've named him jes' plain Jim. Y o nevah
finds you've made a mistake when you
calls EN- jes' nothin' but jim Life.
public man has always his fool friends.
it is true; but, if he is at all fortunate, his
fool enemies, also.-Puck.
why don't you come to church, John?
Come next Sunday. will your
COW 1ong do it last. zur?''
'Oh, not very long. About an hour or
''Lor'. bless yer, EUR. it bain't worth
while changing yer shirt for 't,''-Sketch.
The Lady-Did any one call while was
out?
The Maid-No. ma'am.
That's very strange. I wonder what
people think 1 have at home day FORE
-Moonshine.
His Wife-But can they prove that you
have been dishonest?
mo, they can't but shall have to pay
lawyer all l have stolen to convince
them that they can't-'-Life.
Citimann-I see you raise your own veg
suburbanite-No, I simply plant small
garden so to keep the chickens at
home-Puck
AS one might say nowadays: ooh,
Thomas Jefferson, What stump speeches
are perpetrated in thy nameH'-Puck
When we are interested in it it is a
combination, when the other fellow is and.
we are not, it is a trust. Boston Tran
script.
Gambler? Well, rather! Why, he's 50.
patronizes a restaurant where they print
the bill of fare in French. and he doe-.:,t
know word of the language Chicago
Evening Post.
Didn't the captain do anything to clean
I up the precinct?"
''well. he gathered up a lot of filthy
/ lucre. Puck.
ais he rieh2"
Oh dear, no, Why, the corning of the
tax assessor doesn't even worry him. =
Chicago Post.
You must reco1lect." said the BillviTe
i Justice to the friend of his boyhood. that
I'm on the bench now, an it's a-lowerilI'
my dignity fer you to call me -BilI' but
/ eff you must be familiar, call me William
durin' court hours and Bill durin' re-
cesst'-Atlanta Constitution.
Modern Version: Teacher-7vhat great
lesson do we@ learn from the fable In
which the wind and the sun attempted
i to compel traveller to remove his cloak?
Bright Pupil-That it is necessary to
roast some guys before they'll loosen up
Chicago News.
. Mix read the unfortunate man. la
boriously coming theacoolx book with one
eye. the while he kept the other fixed on
little Theobald. to see that he did not
swallow the egg-beater; g set on a hot
stove: don't stir Mix - he repeated ir
a FOLLOW voice. . set On hot
\ s-t-o-v-ei Don't stir 4 can endure to
wash the beds. sweep the food and cook
the baby-er-er-weH. anyhow my mean
! ing is obviouszwhi1e the wife of my
bosom is away attending congregations and
concentrations of the exalted daughters
of what-d ye-eall-it: but when it comes TO
| following that formula literally must beg