davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

fool may be funny. but that
doesn't indicate that he is possessed of
wit.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

YELLOW CLOTHES ARE UNSIGHTLY
Keep them white with Red Cross Ball Blue.
All grocezs sell large or package, 3 cents.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27
OUR WIT AND HUMOR.
Two Columns. o Jokes Ground OF by the
1uT17OriStS.
HunOriStS.

found thoUghtl-Yeth, Daa'ara, I can:
What bod hath joined let no man
put athunderss
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

The tombstone never says mean
things about the man that's down.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

The weight of evidence seems to in
dictate that none of US know much
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

A very young man is apt to lose hi
head and heart simultaneously
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

The selfish man goes out of his way
to get in other peoples way.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Phrenologlst-Boy. you have a re-
markabIe memory. Boy-PIease sir.
write it on a slip of paper not for me
to forget it.-Fun
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Don't Ruin Your stomach
Eat ATLAS OATS and You will ueyer
be troubled with indigestion or dyspepsia
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

100 often when a man tries to pincl
others he hurts himself
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27
DEER AND soUIRRELs wANrEn

Chas- Payne. of Wichita kansas is
deslfous of purchasing live deer and a
large number of young SQUIRRELS
young wolves. wild ducks. etc Anx
one having anything of this kind should
write Mr.. PAYNE
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27
INSIST ON GETTING TT.

Some groeers say they don't keep De-
nance starch This is because they have
a stock on hand of other brands contain
ing only II o. in a package which they
won't be able to sell first because De
nance contains 16 for the sa me money
DO you want 10 instead of II or
Tor same money? Then buy Defiance
Starch Requires cooking.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

The gift of CAB might be considered
free speech
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Being headstHong frequently gives
a man a baclSset
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Social cast frequently turns ont to
be a very wild throw
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Stops the Cough and
Works or the Cold
Laxative Broo-o Quinine Tablets Price,
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Men set up the drinks and the drinks
upset the men
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27
a Brave Man.

Brave Man
They say" remarked the sweet
young thing. that You were never
really frightened-''
Nonsense'" returned the man who
was honest as well as more than ordi-
narily brave. They forgot that I
was one Of the principals in "a"
t.DueI?''
Nom a swell church Wedding
Chicago Post.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27
800 Reward a1oo.

Time can stand an unlimited amount
of killing.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Robbins think Mac will regret is.
Wyld-What? Notwithstanding the
girls name engraved inside the en-
gagement ring.-Town and Country
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27
ThIs is Simply WONDERFUL.

CHAMPION, Mich. March 18th. Mrs
A. Wellett, wife of local photog-
rapher, has had a remarkable expe-
rfence recently.
Mrs. WelIett tells the story this way:
could not sleep, my feet were cold,
my limbs cramped. had an awful
hard pain across my back. 1 had to get
up three or four times every night. 1
was very nervous and fearfuIly despon-
dent, L had very little appetite
After had suffered in this way for
hve years. begun to use Dodd's Kid
ney Pills When 1 had taken a few
pills you ought to have seen what
came from my kidneys It looked like
a spoiled egg only darker.
Il kept on using Dodd's Kidney Pills
till was cured. Now 1 can sleep well
and do not have to get up in the night,
1 nave no pain in my back or limbs
and feel better than have for years"
Most of the shadows that cross a
mans path in life are caused bv his
standing in his own way.
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

HypIrenated Citizen
Casey-Av course, Dim an Irish-Am-
erican, an why not? Don't Oh live in
America?
Cassidy-oh. yes. Oh suppose it's all
right
Casey-Av course it is.
Cassidy-Ay, but it's lucky fur We
that ye don't live in England Ye'd be
an Irish-Engl1shman then, wouldn't
yep
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Many a mans word is like an echo
merely a hollow mockery
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Gathered Hunor
Phrenolog1st-Boy. you have a re-
markabIe memory. Boy-Please, sir.
write it on slip of paper not for me
| to forget it--Fun.
1t is rumored in Holland that the
young queen wants a new husband .
Wen, she won't have to ADVERTISE
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Robbins think Mac will regret is
Wyld-What2 Notwithstanding the
girls name engraved inside the en-
gagement ring--Town and Country.
Boy heard yer wanted a boy Mer-
chant-HoW old are you? Boy-I'm
old enuf ter ride on tn cars fer half
price.-CoIumbus (Ohio) State Journal.
4 understand Bilkfns made a great
hit on the stage. Somebody has mis-
hit Bilkins was the target"-Balti-
more News
Mr. Bacon see by this paper that
ice one and one-haIf inches thick viii
support man.
Mrs Bacon always said there was
an enormous profit in ice, John
Cassidy-Phere are yez going in thot
new suit2 Casey-Oi'm going to ask
old man Flanagan for his daughters
hand Cassidy-Th' dIviI, Ut seems
pity to ruin a new suit thot wav-
Puck
The subject latter the sfttirg)-I
hadn't sat for picture before in ten
years. don't you know and I'm deuceti
glad the worst is over. The pl,otoe-
rapher (innocently enoueh)-But vo,,
haven't seen the negative yet,-Puck.
HighbIower-A4y first daughter mar
ried poet, my second an artist and /
my thlru a railroad magnate- D1mple- /
which couple is the most fo1-
tunate2 oh. the first two of them 4
They are supported BY the husband of |
the third-.'=Life
The Globe-republican., 1902-03-27

Boy heard yer wanted a boy. Mer-
chant-How old are you? Boy-Tm
old enuf ter ride on tn cars fer half
price.-CoIumbus (Ohio) State Journal.
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-04-05
LEADING MEN OF THE IMPE=
 RIAL CANAL SYSTEM.

The changing of the Colorado Delta from desert to garden bringing the front of good business iudgment-men of who ready grasp oppor tuniy when presented and reap rich reward for their energy and perseverance,
 Among the number thus coming to the front IS w. r. Holt, mddle-aged who started his business banker in Newtown, Missouri several ago. but concluded to go west and grow up with the country
 He moved to Arizona where he again engaged in the banking business, starting banks at Globe and Satford where he prospered in business Not only did his business prosper but he also gained knowledge of the arid west and its great possibilities.
 When the Imperial Settlements started in 1000 he sold his holdings in Arizona and to Southern California to spy out the land He visited the Colorado Desert-then desert in faCtas the work of reclamation had but just been begun. His keen eye for business
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-04-05
No. 5l

the Imperial colony will enjoy having seven transcontnental lines running through it's fertile valley of over half a million acres of irrigated land That two of said lines will be built in the immediate future, I have every confidence. That the other five lines will be built later on, l firmly believe. Money is plentiful in New York for railroad construction Prosperity reigns and the drift of the southwestern transcontinental roads is to reach tide water at San Diego, in order to secure part of the immense traf- fc with the Orient which now passes through San Francisco.
 Thus it will be seen that the building of said new transcontnental railroads will give Imperial City the benefit of being To- cated on at least two transcontinental lines, with a possible seven, but with two trans continental lines running through it's local ity it will rise and become one of the lead ing agricultural cities of California, for it has the land and the water surrounding it, and with railroads running through it. Inn perial City will attract more railroads.
 Yours truly,
 VIM. H. CARLSON.
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-04-05

that there great future for that country, and he immediately began invest the few thousands he had drawn of business in Arizona. He secured all the desert land the law would allow and he secured water rights for the
 He purchased several choice lots in the of Imperial He built church and parsonage out of his own private funds, and secured a minister occupy the same He built telephone line extending from the railroad Flow ingwe to Imperial and thence to CaeXico.
 He established the First National Bank and became its president-a bank that is now doing good business
 He then took hold of the railroad enterprise and organ ized the Imperial and Gulf Railroad Company; he made its president put into 1t of his money and now building that road
 Everything far that he has touched has been sue
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-04-05
Advertising California.

For quarter of a century past Southern California has taken the lead in advertising the beauties and benefits of this State. As a result this portion of the State has grown, while Central and Northern California has practically stood still.
 During this period it is true that the State Board of Trade of San Francisco has done some very good work advertising re- sources but most of this work has brought people to the State who, if they located at an have located south of Tehachepi.
 Now Central and Northern California are making the most vigorous move ever in augurated in that portion of the State to advertise their country in the East. and bring actual settlers to this coast to locate.
 This is good move. The more vigorous the movement the better. We are glad to see that the more enterprisng people of the upper country are putting into this movement good intelligent work and lots of money. The greater the worK done. the better it will be for Southern California. Every effort put forth by them will bring grist to our mill
 There is charm about Southern Califor- mia that is possessed by no other portion of the United States.
 People may argue until they are gray headed that another country is just as good, but it will have effect.
 The wealthy come here for our genial climate our tropical productions and our energetic go-ahead people.
 The poor in health come here because they have a blind belief that brief resi- dence in this charmed country will restore them to health.
 The poor in purse come here because 1t is the only place under the United States flag wkere good government land can be had at $1.25 per acre under a large and efficient irrigation system.
 Everybody comes here that goes any where, tecause everybody else is headed this Way.
 By all means let the good work in Gen. tra and Northern California go on. It may be that our people will reap where they have not sown and gather where they have not strewn, but we can't help it. The people are coming. Let them come.
Imperial press and farmer., 1902-04-05
VOL. |.
Railroads for Imperial.

gently Special Commissioner of Railroads of Cuba. has devoted much time and study to secure the building of a railroad from San Diego to Yuma. He now declares that the money is promised to build that road and that in very short time his plans will be given to the public Upon request he gives the following statement relative to proposed railroad operations in this here tofore desert country:
 San Diego, Cal, March 26, 1902.
 Editor Imperial Press-ln reply to your request for my views as to the railroad pos abilities of the Imperial colony tract take pleasure in stating that in my opinion no agricultural section of Southern California has better prospects of securing several railroad lines in the immediate future. l cannot quote my authorities for my positive belief in the above statement.
 The Southern Pacific is quite likely to be the first to reach Imperial City, as short branch line of only thirty miles from Old Beach Station will give it an entrance into the rich Imperial colony tract of 50O,OO0 acres of irrigated government land, the freight from which will be quite an item to the Southern Pacific. The said thirty-mile line will be over the route of the Imperial and Gulf Railway Company, who no doubt will materially aid in it's construction and push it's extension on to the Gulf of Lower California. over the million acres of fertile lands en route.
 The San DiegoEastern committees Work, I am reliably informed, is being done Ill harmony with the representatives or MT. b. P Cheney chairman of the executive com mittee of the Santa Fe system, which means that the Santa Fe is quite likely to bulld the line over said route from San Diego to their present line at Phoenix, and by eX- tending same to Benson, where connection will be made with the Dodge-Phelps line to El Paso. the Santa Fe will be in a position to proclaim the ownership of two transcon- tinental lines to the Pacific one via Alpu- oueroue to San Francisco and the other via Fl Paso Deming Benson and Phoenix to San Diego. The route of said line will be across the Imperial colony lands.
 Then the line of the recently incorpor- ated OrientalPacific Railway Company, from Yuma to San Diego, will pass through Imperial City. It owns 114 miles of an ex- elusive waterfront franchise at San Diego, as well as two wharves, the value of which will be greatly enhanced by the building of the line from Yuma
 Then. it is simply matter of time when the Rock Island Railway, now at El Paso, will build on to San Diego and continue up the coast to Los Angeles.
 Likewise, the Gould system, which is now resting at Fl Paso, will extend its Texas Pacific Railroad.
 But the foregoing are not all, for Presi- dent Yoakum of the St. Louis and San Fran cisco Railroad has announced the proposed extension of his line into New Mexico and on to San Diego and Los Angeles.
 And the Oklahoma, Choctaw and Pacific is rapidly building to Fl Paso, with aspira- tions to reach tidewater on the Pacific at San Diego.
 If oil Of tba ahOve roads are huilt then
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-01-07

had to have a written permit from his
| father
| The Governor was a great fayorite
not only in his own company, but
throughout the regiment, and was in
the thick of many famous battles. Aft
er the war he studied in New York city
for some time and then went to Gales
burg and graduated from Knox Col
| lege. Soon after his graduation he
went into business with his father at
Leclaire, Iowa, and they built one Of
the first raft steamers on the Missis-
sippi
For a number of years Gov. Van SAINT
was general manager of the Van SAINT
& Musser line Of steamboats,. He went
to Winona, Mimi, in 1888 and was
| loosely identified with the city's best in
terests and actively assisted in all pub
lie enterprises. For two years he was
in the council as alderman and was the
unanimous nominee of the Republicans
for the Office as Mayor of Winona in
1888 Later he was sent to the State
Legislature and in 1895 was Speaker
of the lower house. This is his first
term as Governor.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-01-07

in pale colorS are beautifully woven with
two or more colors in the ground and
with white or some tint in the eoloring.
Cameo col0red grounds strewn with
lunches Of white flowers make dainty
pattern Fancy stripes are shown in
grenadine as well as silk. So many col
ors are combined in some of the new
siISs, and these shades are so delicate and
the designs so artistic. that a distinguish
ing color or pattern IS hardly apparent.
I-ouisine silks are brocadei and painted.
while in arInares and satins the pattern
= sroven below the e-s~ssce and the de-
sign appears TO be sunKe1- Pompadour
brocaded designs are variety that is
promised as one Of the springs novelties
Waists made OF il require 10 trimming.
New spring challies are shown in The
exclusive shops and are so beautiful in
texture and coloring as 10 be mistakabie
at distance for silk. Dresden. cash
mere. Persian. Powered and striped ef-
fects are shown White and delicate col
ored grounds are used, although a pretty
shade OF red is popular. They now are
advocated for tea gowns, house dresses
and for shirt waists for tailor suits.
There Is sketched az TIE left in this
group ; house dress Of red ehallie figured
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-01-07

powers are adapted to its instincts Its
beak is feeble compared with that of
the eagle. The toes are longer, feebler.
with huge hooked claws. and incapable
of graspirg a heavy weight during
flight.
Where he finds his food. there he ban
quets, never attempting to carry it to
his haunts. or a powerful end robust
build. he has neither the bill nor the
talons of the eagle, the former being
elongated and hooked only at the top
and the latter comparatively small and
feeble. Nor has he an exclusive appe-
tite fer blood. carrion and putrid ani.
mails being greedily devoured by it.
This rare bird attacks lambs. kids and
the weak and siekly of the flock. The
strong lmbed channels is not secure.
nor. when rendered desperate by hun
ger. viii the ravenous bird forebear &
attack on man. Children are said 10
have often fallen 4 sacrifice TO its "a
paeity.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-01-07
have everything which he had been de

have everything which he had been de-
MED?
Langfield mechanically slipped his
hand to the sheath in his belt. stole
glance at his companion, and saw that
his eyes were closed. He drew out the
knife and held it behind him.
Just then Perry gave a stifed moan.
The sound brought Langfield to his
senses. What was this he had intend
ed to dol A fit of trembling seized
him. He rose to his feet, though he
reeled as he did so. There was swift
movement of his right arm, and some
thing glanced in the light and fell far
below them in the brush.
mo one needs me" he thought, land
Tom"
Come" ne said aloud, I'VE must get
sou down for-your wife's sake"
The man did not reply at first. When
he did his voice was a trifie husky.
Il have none." he said.
Langfield stared at him. "Why--Dol-
ly-" he blurted out She" He
began and stopped again, but Perry I'M
derStood.
Ne" he replied, with an effort,
"she didn't want me-" He turned mis-
head and looked unseeingly across the
valley. There was someone else" he
said.
someone else?" Langheld stupidity
repeated.
Yes" answered the other. land it
seems the fool couldn't understand"
There was a moments silence. She's
waiting till the company's ordered
back" he added.
Langfield drew his hand across his
forehead. The snow. high up on the
mountains, seemed a swimming sea of
white; the little stream beside them
reared like a cataract in his ears
Perry made an effort to rise, but fell
back in spasm of pain.
"She loves-my God. man. he cried
vehemently. ARE you an idiot? She
eS-your'-LadieS' World.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-01-07

I Persons, and so on. In some instances
there is a postoffice of the same name
in each of the seven States. AS one may
! imagine, this only tends to confuse the
average mind.
Periodically the clerks are examined
at railway mail headquarters. Packs of
cards, each card bearing the name of
postoffice, are furnished a candidate
for examination. He takes a position
in front of a case of pigeon holes label
ed with the names of different railway
postoffices throughout the country. He
throws" the cards, distributing them
, to proper routes, just as he would pack
ages in postal car. After he finishes
the examiner goes over the cards and
charges up the errors the clerk has
made and gives him his percentage OF
correct distribution. The clerk also is
examined on general and standpoint"
or station schemes at different times.
There are some features about the
work that one would think would rem
der it impossible for a clerk to main
tain his lay of the States, which he
| is expected to work. He may have a
run which lands him in Chicago to con-
meet three leading railway postoffices
running between Chicago and New
York. With but little notice he may be
taken off the run and be brought to
/ Chicago in the afternoon instead Of
2:20 a. m. Notwithstanding this inter-
ruption, he goes on with his work with
but few errors.
| 1t Is asserted at railway mail service
headquarters that there are clerks who
have reached the capacity Of their
minds in the matter of remembering
names. They now remember SO many
that it would be absolutely impossible
to learn another State or part of a
State. 1t would seem that of the MILL
ions of cells in their brain machinery
none are left to fill, all havirs been
taken up in the prosecution of the ex-
acting duties imposed by their occupa-
ton.
Another queer phase of the work is
that not always do the clerks who
stand the best examinations and make
the best averages show the best rec
ords infthe ear. A man may have
State in the most exact manner. but
lack ability in remembering railway
connections or something else which he
is required to remember.
The evidence of wonderfully reten-
tive memories is found in the general
run of examinations made at headquar-
ters In one year at the offices of the
sixth division of the railway mail SER
vice in Chicago 2,427 examinations
were made. Cards. to the number of
nearly 100000 were thrown" and the
average per cent of correct distribution
reached 9S.4S-C Chicago Record Herald.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-01-07

90 Kings that a railway postal
clerk must remember have in
creased in such volume that one
would think every cell of his brain
would be filled with the name of a
postofice or railway connection, and
the wonder is that the clerks mind
does not falter under the pressure. De
spite these facts. cases of insanity
among this class of public servants are
rare. One Chicago postal clerk main
tanned for several years a record of
u 900 cards (Which take the place of
letters in examinations with an aver
age per cent of correct distribution of
a fraction over 90 per cent He knew
how to reach that many offices in sew
eral States by the shortest, quickest
route, and he knew the correct location
of each Office in its State.
a clerk on the New York and Chicago
railway postoffice must know the cor
rect location of every postoffice in a
group of States made up of Illinois,
Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana, Minnesota,
South Dakota and Nebraska. In these
seven States there are 1887 postof-
fees. Not only is the clerk required
to be up on the general scheme,
which means the correct location of the
postofiices in each State, but he must
know how to reach the whole $4,000
postoffices from one or more stations.
A clerk running between Chicago and
Minneapolis underwent no fewer than
seventy-eight examinations in fifteen
years, learning 1906 offices in fifteen
different sections of the United States.
In some of these examinations he was
required to make a Chicago city distri-
button, which means that while run
ming over the country at the rate of a
mile q minute he must distribute letters
to the carriers of the Chicago delivery
He must know not only where every
public building and leading mercantile
house is located, but also how to divide
the numbers on particular street so
that he can ''tie OUT his letters to the
correct carrier, according to the route
of the latter This same clerk made
lulTleen eAdiilllIdliOHS III tel uuOlllllS,
with an average correct distribution of
99.SS per cent. III twenty examinations
he came out of nine of them with a
clear 100 per cent each.
Think Of such task. taking into con-
sideration the puzzling similarity of
names that are used to designate post
offices. Then, too, must be considered
the fact that there are hundreds of
cases where in each State is a postoffice
of the same name. For instance, in the
States named above there are five post
offices named Hamilton, six Grants,
four Garfields, four Genevas, four
Smithvilles, four Spartas and five JEFF