The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-21
CAN'T TO BE NO DE-vocE. y
he Gave Grounds For Alimony When
Called a Chimney Niger"

(kansas City Starr
In the nesro's right hand was a boiled
PIE foot In the left was large piece
| OF rye bread The office door was a lit
Tie a1ar so that gentle push of the foot
was az that vas necessary 70 open it wide
over the threshold He nibbled first at the
loot. then at the bread Deliberately he
swallowed. and then said:
''Mhehe's MiSteh Oldham at?"
Ihats my name. responded the man
at the desk. What's troubling your
Is you a lawyeh2" asked the man,
4 NAV not look it, was the answer,
but | am so listed in the directory
Lithed whehe?" lisped the negro.
such subtle humor is lost, l see. Let's
! TO business. There is Il piece of news
paper and a radiator Pigs foot wrapped
In newspaper and deposited on radiator
-'Sah2"
An excellent illustration of darkest At
the hog knucl1les on the heater. Now sit
down and talk quick What do you
"De-voce."
Divorce
That's hit"
How long have YOU been married.
" Bout fOah mouths"
What happened2@
shes afteh a pestehring me-
"How2"
she done call me Chimney niggeh-,''
Yes. sab. She SADIE wah a no count
an triflin'''
What did you do?''
What YOU reckon l done? / handed
heh this all doubled up"
This all doubled up" was his large
greasy fist.
Where did you hit herr asked the
rative-
Left eye. You see. she's yallow- Now
heb eye is bout my eolah." meaning
thereby black.
Suddenly the negro came back 10 the
business of the hour. Speaking low evil
IDENTIFY to inspire confidence, he said:
-'Loek-a-hehe. Misteh Oldham, how
much abe you goin' TO change me fob that
A nominal sum WAS mentioned
But does / get hit2" asked the man.
oh no, get that, replied the lawyer,
smiling at his remarkably quick repaftee
"Doggone." laughed the negro. falling
into the lawyers keen humor, II means
does get the de-voce eff 1 pays the
monev?"
The judge decides that, answered
Mr.. Oldham. with dignity. You and 1
termines-''
Il les wanted to know" unused the
stranger. You see. me an my woman
has surtenly got to drift apart Ef NAH
Images is made in heaven. then that place
must a ben closed when me an hen wah
you or the jege must make heb Miss
onst moe. You all must fix hit SOS / can
keep company VIII some Omen lduleS -dH
not be in dangeh Of sudden death evhy
time the doe open oh some pusson comes
up behind
but YOU said YOU struck her?''
"Coase I did. Didn't L tell you she call
me Chimney nigGeh an a nO-a-count. an
triflin'2 Do Won reckon Jess cause
man is mahhied he's got to be a angel?
/ don low no lady 10 call me no Chimney
niggeh, speedy my wife. I amt no Gin
ney niggeh. Cease | given heb wahnin,-
1 say: 'Look-a-hehe. don yO use no sech
9e- n
they is jess room e-nuff fob one an l.
The last four words were said with i'm
pressive slOwness. The negro stopped
''Weli?'' asked Mr.. Oldham. what hap
she SADIE hit onst moe an am Twin
The. lawyer unused for moment. Then
he said:
you told the judge about hitting her
But she call me a Chimney niggeh."
AZ understand. As / said. if YOU told the
judge about hitting her he would probably
give her the divorce and you might have
10 pay alimony-
What's that2
Why. you would have TO pay her about
half your salary every week. probably for
the rest OF your life"
AN she could give that to some otheh
gemman. She conld DO as she 1leased
with it, The negro started I'D sud
denly. He stepped 10 the radiator anu
picked UP his pigs foot and bread.
Where are you going2' asked the law
yer
ITO fine nv woman.
'sYou are not going to make any trouble
are YOU
Trouble nuthin'. I'm goin' to fine hen
before some Otheh gemman looks hen up
an tells heb bout that alimOney. Misteh
Oldham. they amt no reason why me
an heb can't get along togetheh- She's
my babe. They'd betteh not no one else
tell heb bout that alimoney."