The Virginia enterprise., 1902-02-21

the edges Of each oyster just begins to
curl. Then want the oysters taken out.
and served upon u napkin. Here is q.
to fix me those oysters just i'll the way
l want them" n
The waiter, who had been apparently
listening intently to the senator's clab,s
crate directions, took the money and
walked back to the Kitchen. ,,,
'One stew" Was all he said, III iold
Washington Post.
Jeweler Ito new boy)-"Did YOU sell
anything while was out, Johnny" .,
Yes. sir. sold six plain gold rings;
Good, my boy said the jeweler. high
ly pleased. ''Wc'll make Il lirst-class
salesman of you one Of these days. 70"
! got the regular price, of cOurSe?'
'Oh, yes, sir. The price was marked
on the inside. 1Sc., and the gentleman
took all that was left. sir.'-Life.
John kinkead was the equal ii not the
superior Of any lawyer Kentucky ever
produced. On one occasion he made Il
very profound and wonderfully logical
argument before. Judge Bridges concern
| ing the construction Of will. His ar
gument was of such Il character as to at
tract the attention of many able lawyers
who We're present. Bridges was consid-
cred all extraordinarily competent judge.
Promptly at the conclusion OF Mr..
kinkead's argument, to the astonshment
Of all present, the judge decided the ease
against him. AS Mr.. Kinkead was leav-
ing the courthouse, Il number of attor-
neys came up with him and cOngratu-
lated him on his magnificent effort. one
OF them stating that he did not see how
Judge Bridges could have decided the
| case against him.
:.,o o,:1x 1,s l;x,,J
Kinkead. Il threw SO much judicial light
round him that l blinded the drrned old
fool"
An Odessa (Mo) young man was deep
ly impressed with the following adver-
tisenent in il local paper: Young man.
some woman dearly loves you. Wonld
you know who she is? She would like
to he your onIy sweetheart. Send 10
cents in stamps to Occult Diviner, ad-
dress us below, and learn her NAME"
He sent the stamps and got his answer.
What WAS it? Mother"
--:o:-
Senator Dollivcr is the silver-tony,t'l
ORATOR Of Iowa. He campaigns from one
end Of the stare to the other before elcc-
cloakroom of the House he told of his
visit. to a little town in the western part
of the state last fall He found that
an old friend of his who lived in the
county was there in jail, having chosen
to stay in a cell rather than pay a tax
vcr'S friend wrote to the sheriff:
Dear Sheriff: 1t will be a great favor
il You will let HE out of Jail for two
hours, SO l can hear my friend Dollivrr
make a speech"
1.-The sheriff was good. fellow said
Mr.. Dolliver. ''Hc wrote his consent on
the back of the note and then added
these words, The remainder of your pun
ishnrcnt is remittcd.'"
Down iii Atlanta the Beau Br,,anmel
Of the smart set has been i'll. and all the
town is laughing over the wit of a local
was & who Ett: Rerpetrated rather cruel JOKE
him. painters colic,' he I replied. I
Where OIL earth did he get it?'' :.Off
Mrs. 'Bob's' cheeks. Town Topics.
While the momcntous affairs of the ma
ton are being dealt with at one end Of
the white house, at the other end Of the
stately old mansion there is Il natural.
unaffected life Of Il typical American
family, and now and then Washington
society folks enjoy the stories that come
from the nursery where the children Of
the first lady i'll the land romp as siren
|
One evening during the Christmas sea-
son the Roosevelt children had !; feast
Of SweetmcatS and when Mrs. Roosevelt
came into the nursery i'll the morning
she found Kermit paying the penalty Of
over-indul gencc.
And how is sister:'' asked Mrs.
Roosevelt.
"Oh, she don't know she is sick yet"
groaned Kermit. she's not awake yet"
New York Times.
Little Dennis O'Toolahan (day after
CRAFTSMANSHIP know where Santa Claus
| lives! He comes from Ireland. He's got
IL brogue just loike my Uncle Pat'S!'
Little August Pumpernickel-'Abe
nit. Santa Claus is big fat German. VAT
can talk German just as good like min'
fadder. r.'-Brooklyn Eagle.
Nat Goodwin brings back il fund of
new stories OF his experiences in Eng
land. Upon one occasion he invited a
his country house, where he was to paint
a portrait OF Mrs. Goodwin. better
known as tho beautiful Maxine Elliott.
The artist arrived at night and came
down to breakfast rather late next morn
ing the rest of the company being al
ready seated ut the table With all at
tempt to he witty the artist eXclaimed:
''Why. do Americans sit down when
they eat:'
''Ccrtainly." replied Nat quickly. but
they rarely use chairs. We generally sit,
OH the floor. where we can get Il better
grip on our food. d.'-New York Times.
The Surgeons Nalcntine.-He-
know about the doctors operating on
Tom Archer for appendicitis. and dis
covering that their diagnosis was
wrons?" She-"Oh. yes. Well?' He
'Wcll. they sent him home Oh Valen-
! tines day with Il note reading, Opened
10y mstakc.' Judge.
What made that man ut the last table
| leavc:' asked the proprietor Of the res
| taurant.
1T was this way. sir" answered the
waiter. He came in and asked for sau-
sage and l told him We were ont, but if
| he Xould wait ittlr u:hiln 1xa ,,:auld