The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-02-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Inquiring Philosopher-To what do
you attribute the increasing number of
old maids in this section? \
Astute Native-I couldn't quite say,
but seems to me as if it might be due
to the increasin' number of old bach
elors about here.-New RYork Weekly.
Young man, said her father, st
don't want you to be too attentive to
my daughter"
s'Why-er-really," stammered the
young man. II had hoped to marry her
some
Exactly, and I'd like to have you
marry her, but if you're too attentive
to her you won't have money enough to
do it. "-Philadelphia Press.
81 WONDER said the man who Jumps
at silly conclusions, whether the 18TH
milan canal will benefit the American
mule market?"
why, it isn't that kind of a canal"
said the patient person
mo mulesl Well, that's a blessing
The elimination of the mule at least
gives assurance that most of the argu-
ment and MISUNDERSTANDING will be
confined to the work of construction
Washington Star.
.She has found her life work at last"
What is it?''
Married a man to reform him -
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Il want to announce that I'm a can
didate for state senator" said Nuritch.
Can't you start my boom in your
paper?''
Sure" replied his friend the editor,
land I'll print it in a way that will be
sure to attract the attention of the ma
chine leaders. Well say: Mr.. sam uel
Nuritch announces his candidacy fol-
State Senator from his district -
Philadelphia Press.
A Malicious ElXDOSI1rR
How 1 should love to overhear the con-
versation of several highly intellectual
men!
Edgar-Pooh! I've been with them.
They always begin on books but soon
get to talking about something good
to eat.-Detroit Free Press.
When de devil calls on some folks
dey feels in duty boun' ter put on dey
hes cloZe en- return de ViSit-Atlanta
Constitution.
The Widow hope you will like
them, my dear DR.. Blessem. 1 preserve
them with my own hands.
DR.. Blessem-My dear lady, your
kindness quite humans me-er-an 1
can say is-er-may the Lord preserve
you.-Brooklyn Life.
We like to see the Right succeed.
No matter what betide
The reason is that all of US
Are always on that side.
Philadelphia Press.
A country doctor was once riding
over a wild stretch of down and asked
the lonely shepherd how he managed
to get medical assistance for his wife
in the isolated cottage where they lived.
We'll, SIR" replied the shepherd, in
all good faith, I'VE dwun't ha' no doc
tor; we Just dies a nat'ral DEATH
Tit-Bits.
re TGf1s hn I1a1- Of
your club?
Mrs. Gadabout-Not any more. We
had to get rid of her, or she would have
disorganized US.
Mrs Queery-You don't say?
Mrs Gadabout-Yes. At one of our
sessions were discussing the SER
want girl question, and she said the
best way to solve the problem was for
all of US to stay home and do our own
work-Philadelphia Press.
Con, G; Tedbore-RealIy. I'm getting !
Miss Kostique-I can hardly believe
that An absent-minded man is one
who forgets himself, is he not?-Phila- |
delphia Record.
1t happens frequently dat charity is
so fond er home in de winter time hits
hard fer her ter stir roun en- take her
De worl' is no wusser dan de people
what's in it, but de people 'bleege ter |
have somepin' ter blame dey troubles
on.-Atlanta Constitution.
Mamma-willie. what's the baby crying |
for?-
Willie-Oh! he's ungrateful: that's what
he is
Mamma-Ungrateful
Wllie-Yes' M jest showed him how |
to eat his cake and he don't preciate it
Philadelphia Press.
Suppose. Bobbie, that another boy !
Sunday school teacher, what would you /
do?''
Give him the other cheek to strike"
said Robbie-
That's right, said the teacher.
''YeSSum," said Bobbie, land if he struck |
that I'd paralyze him. Exchange.
May, then. if you will have a toast, let |
us drink to the man who knows when to
''Ayel To show that the absent are not
forgotten!'-Puck.
every day; don't you think so?
TompkinS-YeS, or else are getting
used to it.-Detroit Free Press.
If he'll is paved with good intentions.
just think how many of are unwittingly |
Observation-Disclosures Tiger.
When other people do some of the things |
we'd like to do, if we dared. denounce |
them scandalous. News.
Papa, when you were a boy, did you |
ever tell a lie?'
I'm afraid I did, my boy. -Why?''
Nothing, only l was afraid you didn't"
Life.
Bill Nye, the humorist, once told Dean |
Hole that when he met Richard Wagner |
he Gaid to him:
Your music is beyond my comprehen- |
sion but / always feel sure when 1 hear |