The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-06-27

trying to- explain to Tobias the, extent
house and brought a many-colored map
Of the United States. Tobias bent over
it a minute. then exclaimed: ''AIon. mon
It's no to be :trustidt; tits laid out in the
plaid q thae lynn MacFechlans."
She Thought 1t Was Golf.-IIe Gamer
ican)-Mv grandfather fell at Bunker
HILL She (English)-Oh, what pretty
name for a golf links! But how cid he
happen to fall?-Judge.
Conversation became reminiscent at the
Lawyers Club the other day, tho late
u veteran practitioner who knew him
we'll said:
"Brady's first attempt at practicing
II" was in very humble quarters, in the
rear of a cobbler's shop in Fulton street,
near William. One day an lrishman who
called and inquired for the cobbler was
told by Brady that he was out. Pee.ins
about the room Of the newly -Hedgcd law
yer .scantily furnished with two unpaint-
i say. boss, what do you sell here?'
"Riockheads, promptly replied Brady.
"Humphr' said the Irislman, "m:,st
De doing a good business, as I see you
have only one left.'-New York Tines.
-:O:-
"Blu1fer says he never comes here to
lunch because he doesn't care for a table
d'hote luncheon" NO; mis- preference is
Ia carte-the lunch cart up the alley
Philadelphia Record.
Theye were neither of the brilliant
scholars, but they liked to move with the
rent events, SO the daily newspaper was
regularly delivered at heir humble domi-
cile. and it was Jennie's duty to read
out during breakfast time all the most
interesting items of the day. One
morning, after wading through the latest
intelligence from the front, she turned
?fse sa OF the here paper ana spo Sde
octogenarian's dead. What's an octo-
genarian?'
'Wen. I don't quite know what they
are, but they must be very sickly crea-
lures. You never hear of them but
they're dying: Answers.
Fps your husband a food provider:''
asked the sympathetic visitor;
Indeed he is, mum. He got me three
Companion.
Il see you've got chickens,'' I said to
my neighbor in the Vicksburg canal,
when a, Leghorn pullet peeped her lonely
way across the gangplank and into the
front room Of his shanty boat.
Vas; sub, John, / sholey have l
sholey got chickens, I only got that one
yo' was obsehvin' as yit:: But I has
made up my min. John, that they aim
neveh no use O. pawn double prices to
says to the OF woman. says, that when
we git ready TO be taken out and drift
down the riveh Pm jes' a-goin' to get III
a few chickens, John. an lay my own
eggs. John Swain in the Lippincott.
Prof. Morandmore-The books of the
Cnaldeans were written on bricks
Sporter Gin q still, small voice,-They
must have made hard reading.-Harvard
LampOon.
Eugene F. Ware, the new commits
sloner OF pensions, who, over the name
of lronquill, long ago established his rep
utation as wit and writer Of verse, has
been much interested for years III the
condition of roads III his adopted state of
Kansas.
Recently r. w. Richardson, secretary
Of the National Good Roads Association
who is, preparing to take good roads
construction train across the continent,
said to Mr. Ware:
How do the farmers in Kansas stand
on the road question?''
up to their knees" was the reply
Philadelphia Post.
No wonder.-What started the fuss
at the milkmen's ball? Some blamed
fool asked one of the neil if he had
brought his pumps along.-Chicago Tri-
bune.
A paper in Norway recently contained
the following advertisement:
I, the under signed, declare that. through,
a regrettahle mistake; l circulated tie
rumor that the coffee house keeper 20 8 N
Henriksen had drunk glass, Of beer. /
humbiy apolosize to Mr.. Henriksen for tbs
Another curious advertisement az.
peared the other day in an English ~.
per. 1t was as follows:
Wanted: By the. advertiser, s:tuat On rs
plain cook in small family, where the mis-.
tress is not always at her heels; it caus $
unpicaSantneSs, then she leaves. ANY !aly
that does this soft OF thing need not al
Swer this.
Mrs. Hatterson-You don't NEAR, TO s:y
that you have no theories about the e.I;l.
cation of children?" Mrs. Catterso1,-
No, have too many Brookly,
Life.
Ibid that man to whom you were lust
talking say your affairs were misman.
aged" asked Mr.. Meekton's wife, Sc
verely.
"Now, Henrietta, that was simply q
little aside. It wasn't intended for you,
ears at all"
Il insist!'
ooh, well, if you insist; he didn't say
my affairs were mismanaged. He sale
they were Mrs. Tit Bits.
"What makes the price of beef sc
high:' ''Critters can't get anything tc
eat; pastures are all cut up into gol1
links. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Might as Well.-Katie-Ais' Lummis
ma wants t know f you can let her have
cup O sugar, two eggs, n few rails.
ms n some -four. Oh, yes!-n' little
butter. Mrs. Lummis-eWell, I never
Katie Potter, you 60 home m tell your
mother l said if she'd wait till I had
time t make it, she could come oyer n
take the ~cake:-Philadelphi Bulletin. ,: