Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-10-06
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Hem what fat:" She-"Why. in
our own fiat, of course"
Wigg-"Is he a man of intelllgence?"
Wagg-"I suppose so. At any rate, he
has never served on jury"
Nell--"LOve doesn't seem to agree
with Maude. She is thinner by twen-
ty pounds than she used to be-" Belle
-"She has loved and lost. eh!"
Merchant--"I want this ad. where
everyone will see it," SOlicltor-"We
charge higher rates for space on the
baseball page."-Baltimore World.
Have you any Marconi roses?"
asked the man entering the florists
what are they" inquired the puz-
Customer Tin restaurant)-"Look
here, waiter, I've. found button in
this salad" Waiter-"That's all
right, sir; it's part of the dressing"
-Tit-Bits.
Mugglns-I understand that friend OF
yours is millionaire. Is he one OF the
open-handed, eXtravagant kind? Dug
gins-Yes, indeed. Why, he even pays
his taxes.
I'D have you know that I've turned
away thousands" stormed the heavy
tragedian. Naturally" sneered the
comedian; "your acting would turn
away anybody"
Dolly-"Your ride In the auto must
have been just lovely and exciting"
Madge-"It was exciting, but not love.
ly. Charlie had to use both hands to
work it"-Judge.
Prison Visitor-"What brought you
here, my man." Convict-"Danged II
l remember, but it wasn't an automo.
bile, cause they didn't have none in
them days" -Philadelphi Press.
Did yew ever salt sheep:" asked
the farmer of the new hired man, who
came from Colorado. NO" replied the
new hired hand, but I've had consid.
cradle experience in sailing mines"
what. you call me pretty? Why. l
am an old woman; my hair is turning
white, and, look, here Is wrinkle"
"A wrinkle. No, madam, it Is n smile
that has drifted from its moorings."
"What Is your nativity" asked the
or" said the blear-eyed inebriate. feel
ing in his pockets; 1.-The police took ev.
erything l had."-Chicago Tribune.
Father-"I thought heard our John.
ME say he was sick. and now l see he's
out coasting. Did you do anything for
him?" Mother-"Yes. l brought in all
the evening coal."-Ohio State Journal
Il suppose you set good table," re.
marked the man who was looking fOf
board. WELL" replied the landlady.
three of my regular boarders are laid
up with the gout."-Chicago Daily
News.
I'm sorry you don't like the new
nurse" she said to her husband. shes
so good about singing to baby and
keeping him quiet" YES" was the
calm reply; but I'd rather hear the
baby cry"
The little girl was watching her
mother and father discussing a plate
of oysters the other night. mann
ma" she said. after some thought,
you eat them face and all, don't your"
Boston Journal.
Mrs. Youngbride-Ive come to COM
plain Of that flour you sent ME. Grocer
What was the matter with 1t? Mrs.
Youngbride-lt was tough. l made u
pie with it. and it was as much as my
husband could do to cut it.-Philadel.
phia Press.
Weary Wlllie-I jes' put In a good
days work in thirty minutes" Prayed
Fagin-"Explain yerself.' Weary VIII
lie-"Well. l put in six pies, pan Nv
dOughnuts an four jars NV preserves
OATS good days work fer any wom-
an."-Judge.
The Suitor-I wish to marry your eld-
est daughter. sir. Her Father-Oh, you
do, Ell? Are you in position to sup
port family? The Suitor-I think so,
sir. Her Father-Well. you had better
be sure Of it. There are ten Of us all
told.-ChicagO News.
what Is the greatest flb that ever
impressed itself on your experience,
Snapper" Well. by all odds, the worst
one l ever heard was that your quar-
tette perpetrated last night when they
came round to the house and sang,
There's Music In the Air."
"Why is it that so few people seem
anxious to talk to Mr. CarpingtOn? lie
seems we'll informed" That's just
the difficulty" answered Miss Dimple-
ton. Hes one of those dreadful men
who know enough to correct your mis-
takes when you quote the classics. and
who doesn't know enough not to do it,"
Schoolmaster turning round sharply
Which Of you is it that is daring to
make faces mt me? Six youngsters Din
chorus)-Freddy Brown, sir! School
master-Ah! Then you six boys stand
out and be caned. II you saw Freddy
Brown making faces, it shows that you
were not attending to your lessons