The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-03

[ because ne may become rich an lose
her: she oughtn't to marry rich man
! because If he becomes Door. she can't
lose him; she oughtn't to marry a man
! that knows more >thin she does. be-
/ cause he'll uiver fail TO show il, an
/ she oughtn't to marry a man that
I knows less because he may niver catch
/ up. But above all things she mustn't
marry a JANUS. A f1ure walker, per
/ HIPS; d JANUS niver.
Il tell We this because I've been
I r-readin a book Hogan give me. about
/ tn divvle's own time a JANUS had with
! his family. A cap Nv Industry may
I have throuble in his family till there
/ isn't whole piece iv chinny in tn
cupboard. an no wan'H be tn wiser
I fr il but tn hired girl an tn doctor
| that paints tn black eye. But ivrybody
knows what happens in a JANUS house
III JANUS always tells tn BARTENDER
Besides, he has other jaRiuses calm
on him an us tn business iv a JANUS
to write about tn domestic throubles
4 iv other janiuses so posterity'H know
what a hard thing it is to be a JANUS
an duck I've been readin' this book
iv Hogan's an as / tell We it's about
! tn misery a wretched woman inflicted
on pote,s life. Our hayro, says tn
author, at this peeryed contracted an
unforchnit alliance that was destined
TO cast deep gloom over his career
At tn age iy so, afther a life devoted
10 tn pursoot Nv such gayety as jan
fuses have always found NECESSARY to
solace their aveaiH's.. he nlarrid
young an beautifu1 girl some thirty
two years his junior This wretched
crather had no appreciation iv lithra-
choor or Hthry men. She was frivol-
yous an light minded an ividintIy con-
sidhered that nawthin' was rally lith-
rachoor that cudden't be thranslated
into groceries. Niver shall ! f'rget tn
expression " despair on HI face iv
/ this Sod-like man as he came into
Casey's saloon wan starry July ave-
min an staggered into his famiIyar
seat, holdin' in his hand a bit iv soiled
paper he tore into fragmints an hurled
| into tn coal scuttle. On that crum-
pied parchmint fndin' a sombre grave
among tn disinterred relics iv an age
| long past, to wit, TIL cariboniferious or
coal age was written tn iver-mim ra-
BILE pome: ode to Gin Our frind
had scrubbed il hastily at tn dinner
~ tn Betther- thin Shakespeare club, an
had attimpted to read II to his wife
through tn keyhole iv her bedroom
~dure an met no response firm tn fiji
lystein but a pitcher iv wather through
tn thransom. Forchitely. he had pre-
sarved a copy on his cuff an tn gem
was not lost 10 posterity. But such
was tn home life " wan iv tn great
est iv hthry masthers. a man Endowed
! be nachure with all that shud make a
woman adore him as is proved be his
tindher varses: ITO Carrie ITO
Maude.' "To Ffossie.' 'To Angebel. 8"
ITO Queenie,~ an so foorth. De Boni-
poort in his cillybrated "Mimores'' in
which he tells ivrything unpleasant he
see or heerd in his frinds' houses, gives
a sthrinkin pitcher iv a scene that
| happened befure his eyes. "Afther a
few basins iv absceenthe IN tn rev
gosh says he. "Parnassy invited us
home to dinner. Sivral " TIL bum vi
vonts was hard to wake up but fn'lly
we arrived at tn handsome cellar
where our gr-reat frind had installed
his unworthy family Ivrything pinted
10 tn admirable taste " tn thrue art
( ist. TIL tub. tn washboaTd. tn biler
singin' on tn fire. TIL neighbor's wash
in dancin' on tn clothes rack. were all
in keepin' with tn best ideels iv what
pote's home sbud be- TIL wife a
I faded hut still pretty woman, welcomed
US more or less an with tn assistance
Nv sivral BOTTLES " paint We had