davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Absent-Minded Professors.

In Ithaca, the seat of Cornell Uni
versity, the memory of certain men,
Der of the faculty is kept green from
year to year by this story of his habit
OF intense preoccupstion and what
came of it
One day he was walking over
beautiful campus path deeply alb
sorbed in pamphlet on a mathemst-
ical subject which had just been re-
ceived. He bumped into something,
and, without looking up. raised his
hat and said, 81 humbly beg your
pardon. "
There was no response, and he
raised his eyes to see the campus COW.
The next day, another pamphlet
even more preOccupatiOn-a second
collision.
"Get out of the way, you darned
old COW |" be shouted.
"Sirl" rang the echo in a shocked
soprano.
The professor gazed into the angry
eyes Of the wife of a colleague and
faculty enemy.
Another story is of an absent-mind-
ed member of the German reichstag,
Herr Wichmann, creating no little
amusement. He was calling the roll.
and upon reaching his own name he
paused for a response. Naturally
none came. Then he called the name
more loudly, waited a few seconds and
roared it out at the top of his voice.
The laughter of his colleagues finally
aroused him to sense of the ludi-
crousness Of his act, and he joined in
the general hilarity.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Natural Anxiety.

Mothers regard approaching winter
with uneasiness, children take cold 40
easily. No disease costs more little
lives than Group. It's attack is 80 sud-
den that the sufferer is often beyond
human aid before the doctor arrives.
such cases yield readily 10 One Minute
Cough Cure, Liquifes the mncus, al
lays iniiam nation. removes danger. Ab-
sOlutelysafe. Actsimmediately. Cures
coughs, colds. grip. bronchitis, all
throat and lung trouble. +. 3. McMa-
hon. Hampton. Ga: "A bad cold rem.
dered me yoiceless just before an ora
torical contest. INTENDED 70 withdraw
but took One Minute Cough Cure. II
restored my voice In time % win the
medal" Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
He Amt Went Yit.

Every little while they tell that the horse has got
togo;
First the troly was invented cause the horses went
so slow.
And they told US tina, we'd better keep raisin'
colts no more;
When the street cars got to noting that the horses
pulled before
thought it was all over for old Fan and Doll and
Kit;
S'posed the horse was up and done for.
But
he
amt
went
yit
When the bike craze first got started people told US
right away.
As you probably remember. that the horse had saw
his day;
People put away their buggies and went ktn round
on wheels;
There were lots and lots Of horses didn't even
used to stand and watch en- with their bOOmers as
they'd fit,
And thought the horse was goin'
But
he
amt
yit.
Then they got the horseless carriage and they said
the horse done,
And the storys been repeated twenty time by Edi
son.
Every time he gets another Of his batteries TO GO,
He comes whooping out to tell us that the horse
don't stand show
And you'd think to see these chauffeurs. as they go
a-chaufin. it
Was good-by to Mr. Dobbin,
But
amt
went
yit
When the people git to Ayin' in the air, s'pOse
they'll say.
As we long have been asayn that the horse has had
his day;
And spose that some old feller jist abou, like nell
stand
Where it's safe and watch the horse haulin' stuff
across the land.
And he'll mebbe think as do while the clouds above
him fit.
"Oh, they say the horse is done for.
But
he
amt
S. E. KIsER.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Stricken With PARALYSIS.

Henderson Grimett, Of this place, was
stricken with partial paralysis and com
pletely lost the use Of one arm aud side.
After being treated by an eminent ply
sician for quite while without relief,
my wife recommended Chamberlain's
Pain Balm, and after usiI two bottles
Of IL he is almost entirely cured.-GEo.
r. MCDONALD, Man, Logan county, W.
Va. Several other very remarkable
cures OF partial paralysis have been ef-
fected by the use Of this liniment. tbs
most widely known. however. as cure
for rheumatism, sprains and bruises.
For sale by Remnants Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Going to the Circus.
S. E. KIsER.

Aunt Sarah Bebee, after whose faith
er Bebee's Corners had been named,
was widow past so the day sporty
looking man drove up to her farm
house in a fancy rig and wanted to ar
range with her to cover the front of
her barn with circus pictures.
"Why, bless your heart, never
went to a circus in all my lifel" she
exclaimed in reply.
But you are not too old to begin,
he suggested. "Let me put the pic
ture up, and I'll leave you 10 tickets
of admission. You can go and take
all your friends"
Land o massy, but you don't
know Bebees Corners Everybody
around here is Methodist or Baptist
or Presbyterian-everybo body but me
and they won't even attend camp
meeting if lemonade is to be sold on
the grounds. l don't exactly know
what my religion is, but if went to
a circus nobody would ever speak to
me again"
The circus man wanted his bills on
that barn and he argued and reasoned
for half an hour. He saw that Aunt
Sarah was an independent character
and that if he could get her started
she'd be ready to defy public opinion.
The result was that she finally said:
"Well, go ahead with your pictures.
l never saw an elephant or lion or
tiger in my life, and III go and see
the menagerie part anyhow. There'll
be an awful row around here, and
folks will think that Satan has got
hold Of me, but I'll have to stand it. j"
The pictures were hardly up, when
Deacon Danforth happened along the
highway and saw them. He turned
pale and trembled. Not in 20 years
before had barn on the Red Mill
road been thus defled. When he had
recovered little from the shock he
walked to the house and confronted
the widow. For the first Is minutes
conversation was devoted to Satan,
Hades, Lots wife, Judas Iscariot and
other interesting subjects. But it
gradually tapered off to hyenas, boa
constructors and alligators, and the
deacon was almost smiling when he
left the house.
Next day Deacon Bidwell saw those
pictures as he sat in his buggy behind
his old white horse. The horse saw
them before he did and stopped so
suddenly that the deacon was pitched
against the dashboard. For long
minute the good old man thought his
eyes deceived him, but the true state
of affairs finally dawned upon him,
and he groaned and sighed and drove
up to the widows gate.
"Widder Bebee, have you sold your
livin' soul to Satan?" was his greeting,
and then the fur few. 1t was nearly
an hour before he left the house, but
he wasn't signing and groaning as he
went. On the contrary, he looked
rather cheerful, and he called back
from the gate:
Eyes; l s'pose tbere'll be cameis
there with two humps, mebbe with
three, and they'll be wuth lookin' at.
There was one more deacon N the
neighborhood, Deacon Burton. He
was driving to town to get Pitchfork
mended and was humming the air of
81 Want to Be an Angel" when the
colored posters suddenly confronted
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16

Doctor-Im very glad to tell you,
Mrs. Smith. that your husband will
recover after all.
Mrs. Smith-Lord, sir, don't say
that T.
Doctor-Why not, you unnatural
woman
Mrs. Smith-Well, you see, sir, af-
ter I'd sent for you sir, l took an
sold all his clothes.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Gained Forty Pounds in Thirty Days.

For several months our younger
brother has been troubled with indiges
ton. He tried several remedies but got
no benefit from them. We purchased
some of Chamberlain Stomach and
Liver Tablets and he commenced TAX
ing them. Inside of thirty days he had
gained forty pounds in flesh. he is now
fully recovered. We have good trade
on the Tablets-Holley Bros, Merchants
Long Branch, No. For sale BY Rein
hart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16

Lot, upon being notified that his
wife had been turned to salt, was OBJ
served to shed tears. why in blazes
couldn't she have turned 70 coal p
he muttered. augrily. But this vision
of sudden fortune having been
speedily shattered, he resumed his
weary march onward.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Forty Years Torture.

To be relieved from a torturing dis
ease after 40 years torture might well
cause the gratitude Of anyone. That is
what DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve did
for G. Haney. Geneva, o. he says :
"DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve cured me
of piles after mad suffered 40 years"
Cures cuts, burns wounds, skin disease.
Beware of counterfeits. Reinhart's
Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16
Look Out For Fever.

Billiousness and liver disorders at this
season may be prevented by cleansing
the system with DeWitt's little Early
Risers. These famous little pills do not
gripe. They move the bowels gently,
but copiously, and by reason Of the ton
ic properties. give tone and strength TO
the glands. Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16

First Train Robber-Sball we bold
up the express? There's mail car
and three PulImans attached to her.
Second Train Robber--No; let her
go. There's coal train coming be-
hind.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16

"W'en yo' listen t de man hollerin'
londes' in de Amen co nah, said Char.
coal Eph, in one Of bis ruminatiys
moods, "hit am suttiDly monty diff
cult 70 { reco'nize de came felIer dat
col 20 dat mewl wid de bin stag.
gers las week, Mistah Jackson"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16

Visitor-And what are you going
to name the precious twins7
Fond Psrents-Anthracite and
Bituminous.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-10-16

For pleasant physic take Chamber
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets. Easy
70 take. Pleasant 10 effect For sale
by Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24

the mountains are full Of gold
bearing quartz and the surface is
being piped over as placer mines.
Pines are laid around the hills
and mountains wherever they
can get water. I notice that the
wood industry also has assumed
large proportions around Wolf
creek, as there are thousands of
cords piled up in sight of the
cars, that is to be shipped south
/ am told.
When you arrive at Grants
Pass, you look around to see how
you got in there or how you are
going to get out. It looks as if
! little basin had been carved out
of the mountains just large
enough to hold town, and then
the same power had turned
Rogue River in there to water
them. 1t is a beautiful little
spot with mountains all around,
and that sparkling river dancing
and jumping along by its side.
Grants Pass is now claiming
2, 500 to 5000 inhabitants, but
from the number of the young
sters around their school houses
1 would not be surprised if they
were yet under the mark. The
town is growing, with good sub
stantial buildings and neat, tasty
residences.
1 might write you much more
ifit were worth reading, and some
of these days when I am in the
humor, 1 will send you another
grist. P. q.
Giants Pass, Or, Oct 90. 1902.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
Fell From Second Story.

Between 7 and s O'Clock last
Tuesday evening, ]. M. Wheeler,
fell from the second story of the
Farmers Hotel and sustained
injuries that may prove, fatal.
He is 81 years old ard has been
Staying at the hotel for month
or such a matter with his son,
some or IS years old, in order
that the latter might attend the
public school in this city. /.
Tuesday evening he started at
about the usual hour to go to his
room. The next thing known
of hin, was when he fell to the
sidewalk from the hall way of
the second story of this building.
In falling he came near landing
exa city on top of Barney Caster
line. As it was, Mr.. Wheeler
struck against Mr.. Casterline's
leg and his fall was partially
broken. He was rendered un-
conscious and in this condition
was carried into the hotel.
Drs. Cathey and Farra were
called to attend the injured man
and they found that his head was
quite badly mashed and the sock
ct of one of his hips was crushed
and the bones badly shattered.
Everything possible was done to
render the unfortunate man 5
condition better, but he remain
ed unconscious through it all.
It is not thought that he will re-
cover.
Formerly there was porch in
front of the Farmers Hotel and
a door opened from the hallway
on the second floor, from which
one could step out on the porch
OF balcony. The porch was re-
moved some time ago and in
SEINE unaccountabie way the old
gentleman stepped or tell out OF
this doorway to the sidewalk a
distance of about I2 feet. How
it all happened will, in all likeli-
hood, never be known.
Wr. Wheeler is brotLer-in-
law of Tam Case, of this city.
His home is near Suver, and at
the time of the accident Mr..
Whee1er's wife was staying down
on the farm. 1t was a most un-
fortunate accident and is deplored
by his many friends.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
LOCAL NEWS.

Regular meeting of the Lsdies'
C,ffee Club Monday afternoon, Oct
27, at 2:30.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24

There is another request We have to
make. In our last issue we assured Mr..
Walters that the columns of the GAZETTE
are open for the publication OF any dog
sess, affecting the GAZETTE Or any per-
son connected with it. He seems to
have overlooked this invitation. We
now make the request that he give US
this matter for publication He has en-
deavored to make case against the GA
zErrE, and has failed, utterly. # he has
anything in reserve, now is his oPportu-
nifty to introduce it.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
Observation-Disclosures

The marriage of c. A. Ger
hard and Mrs. Adelaide Fulling-
ton was solemnized in the Cath
olic church, this city, Wednes-
day morning at 7 O'Clock, Father
Jurek officiating.
Only members of the families
of the contracting parties were
present. Although little notice
was given Of the affair, the
church was beautifully decorated
for the occasion. Immediately
after the ceremony the bridal
party repaired to the newly fur
nished residence of the groom,
where a delicious wedding break
fast awaited them.
c. A. Gerhard is the youngest
son of Mrs. Elizabeth Gerhard,
of this city, and is the proprietor
of the Book Store. He is a
young business man, of steady
and temperate habits and COM
mands the respect of everybody.
His bride is the daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. S. H. Horton, one of
the most highly respected fami-
lies ia Benton county, and has a
large circle of Immediate friends
and we1l-wishers. The young
couple have taken up their resi-
dence in the home OF the groom,
near the Benton County Flouring
Mills. Among a host of others,
the GAZETTE extends congratu-
lations.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
Additional Local.

Cotswold Rarn-for sale at J. f.
Wyatt's.
Benton county clover seed for
sale at Zierolf's.
Oil meal for sale at Graham &
Wells. Splendid feed for dairy
stock.
Young's Cash Store, No. 707,
Main St., have a new line of Wool
en- Hosiery, Ladies' and Childrens'
Hats; Groceries, Flour, etc. Pro-
duce taken.
While returning from Tampico,
Wednesday, DR.. Cathey saw a cou-
pc of deer. He had a shotgun with
him, and with this weapon he
bagged these animals and brought
them home in his buggy.
The first team of the O A G foot
ball squad left yesterday for Seat
tie, where they play University of
Washington eleven, Saturday. The
second team, under Assistant-Coach
Bruce Burnett, will play McMinn-
vile College at that city the same
day.
After all we are not to be enter
tanned by Hennessey Leroyle in
"Other Peoples Money" on October
2Sth. Chas. O.. Brown, advance
agent, writes Manager Groves from
Albany. stating that Mr.. Leroyle is
confined in a hospital at Vacaville,
California, with severe case of cry
sipelas, and he will not be in Cor
Wallis until later in the season.
A party of eight members of the
Rebekah lodge of Odd Fellows of
this city, narrowly escaped serious
injury in, an accident which occurr'
ed last Tuesday evening. The party
were driving to Independence to at
tend a meeting of the order, and
had reached a point some four
miles this side of that city, when
they drove over slight grade, in the
darkness, and their hack was up:
set. Lee Henkle was driving and
he held to the lines and prevented
the team from running. All the
! occupants of the hacks were thrown
out and quite badly shaken up.
Mrs. Moore had her ankle sprained,
and Mrs. Wicks and Mrs. S. N.
Wilkins were bruised about the
chest and shoulders. The men in
the party righted the rig, and after
borrowing a lantern at a farm
house, the party proceeded to In
dependence, where they spent an
enjoyable evening. They reached
Corvallis next morning at 4 o'clock
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
Way Down South.

EDITOR GAZETTE: In going
south over the Southern Pacific,
or the o. & c., you will at once
be surprised at the large increase
in travel. A few years ago l
was in Ashland and two day
coaches aud one Pullman accom-
modated all at that time and there
was room to spare. Five years ago
1 was at Ashland again, and the
car accommodations were much
greater, but when l came down
this time there were two chair
cars, a smoker, three tourist cars
and two Pullmans, and they
were all full to over-howing. III
passing over the road I noted a
wonderful change in the south
ern part of the state. Not long
ago YOU could pass from the
mouth of the Cow Creek Canyon
to Grants Pass and see but few
improvements. Glendale was a
deserted R. R. construction town,
with a few cid shacks. Now it
is town of 500, and building
going on with a rush. The res
idents of the place are confident
that their town will contains I,
900 inhabitants within the com.
ing year.
A little further on a village
has sprung into exlstenceat VOL
Creek, and another at Leland
1t is the mining interests that are
bringing these places forward, as
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
Music Lessons.

Mordaunt Goodneugh announces the
opening of his teaching season, SePtem-
Der 22ud, 1902.
Terms-6O minute lesson; IS cts each.
45-minute lesson; so cts each.
30-minute lesson 81. cts each.
One-half hour lessons week will not
be given. No pupil accepted for less
than one months instruction.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24

Now, in order to assure ourselves and
the public that there is nothing mislead-
ing about Mr.. Waters statement that
"Assessor Bush has at different times
asked the court to provide him with such
books and maps" we should like to ask
if Mr.. Bush made this request of the
present county court while it was in ses
siou, for we have seen Lo record of it in
the proceedings? Or does Mr.. Walters
speak of himself as "the court" and did
Mr.. Bush make this request of Mr.. Wat
tiers personally?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24

Cotswold Rarn-for sale at ]. f.
Wyatt's.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24
For Sale.

Chinook salmon, salted, ready for
family use. One hundred pound Kegs,
delivered in Corvallis, 6 IL cents per
pound. Parties desiling same, should
call on or address A. A. McCLEARY,
Corvallis. Or.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24

To cover the cost OF setting and dis
tributing the type in such matters, a
charge of fifty cents will be nj lde for
each "Card of Thanks and FIVE cents
per line for each set of Resolutions OF
Con1olence" appearing in these columns.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-10-24

Notice.
Notice is hereby given that the under
signed has been appointed administrator
of the estate of Charles Heron, deceased.
and that any person having claims
against said estate will present them to
the administrator at his Office in Corval-
lis, Oregon, with proper vouchers, within
six months from this date.
Corvallis, Or, September 5, 1902.
W. E. YATES,
Administrator.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-02-01
H. & B. Beers Cotton Letter.


 NEW ORLEANS. Jan. 3t.-As Liverpool was disappointing, our market opened unchanged. declined 566 points later on the bearish week Iy statistics. closing at a net loss of 5T6 points the day. The amount brought into sight during January was .324 900, against 9S2 900 last year, making the amount mar keted during the week 274 900, against 237- 900 last year The total marketed to date Is 1929, 900, against 7,557, 900 last year, an more cotton in the South than last year, the movement points to crop of lo59 900 The interior towns. while receiving 2, 900 less than last year. increased 2o00 in stock whereas last year the decrease in stock was 2 o00, showing a relative gain in stock of 22 Ooo for the week. the aggregate def- ciency under last year now being only 84 0C0 I8ooo. having been reduced 92 GOO during that time, and in the meanwhile an excess of 342 900 over last year has been brought into sight during January and the interior stocks have gained relatively. proving that the movement has been from plantations and not at the expense of counted interior town stocks. In 1899 the record crop year the less than this year. and from now on in that year 2 380 900 marketed and 525, ,OO0 was left over which was not brought in. giv ing supply of 2. .9o5 900 in the country that season. If it is assumed that the same amount is held this year, when the counted stocks are more, then, on that hypothesis. the crop points to Io934, 900 bales. The visible sup ply of American during the week increased 3 o0o against an increase of 4, 900 last year year by BPS GOO. The bad weather prevalent in the interior is expected to curtail receipts next week. Values. however, will continue to be governed by the movement.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-02-01
New York Cotton Future.
R. M. Scale G Go s Cotton Letter.

lby Speclal Leased WHel
 NEW ORLEANS. Jan 3l.-The quietness of the cotton market has conduced to an easier tone in the absence of any developments to indicate the fulfillment of promises of per pendicular drop in receipts In Liverpool con idence moderate crop estimates appears to be diminishing. evidenced by the tendency of prices in that market to depreciate some what and 1t now seems like there is more disposition on the part of values to recede from any improvement than to recover any loss. But this may be due in a large meas ure also to the continued accumulation of stocks the other side, which has probably dispelled all feeling of insecurity amongst shorts abroad about the near future at least. Traders here directed their attention to the weekly statistics which were. not of an en couraging nature and some longs becoming weary of their purchases, liquidated in a mod crate way, forcing slight decline in the process. Closing quotations are 4d6 points lower than yesterday.
 While events thus far have not been. in accord with contentious of higher price advo- cates. yet the situation still admits of features being shaped in that direction but whether they will or not Is the question that all traders are anxious to have answered definitely with out much further delay. In the meantime some uneasiness is noted a result of the failure of the movement to diminish substan- tially. and the decrease demand for spots and If further liquidation is influenced thereby, prices may suffer an additional setback.