New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-11-28
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Recently n school inspector arrived at small
town in Germany. says London Spare Moments"
and requested the Mayor to accompany him a
tour OF inspection round the schools.
The Mayor as he put his hat. muttered to
himself
Il should Ike to know why that ass has come so
soon again." remark which the inspector over
heard but affected 10 ignore
Arrived the first school. he began 10 examine
the pupils IN punctuation. but was told by the
Mayor:
We don't trouble about commas and such ike"
The inspector merely told one Of the boys 20
write on the blackboard:
The Mayor of Ritzelbuttel says the inspector
is ass"
Now" he added put a comma after .RitzoI-
buttel and another after Inspector"
The boy did
The Mayor is believed to have changed his opln-
ion 10 the value of commas.
a merchant in Chestnut-st has become very fond
tered very early in the morning when the merchant
was reading the paper The latter glanced up and
Excuse me-but I'm in hurry,
What do you want?' he was asked.
You do? Well" snorted the man Of business.
why are you IN such hurry?"
terday to go TO work and haven't struck anything
yet cant waste I Tine 6 II y9gye gE nothing for
s2p stop long is whers they pay y me for IT,
'Don't have to come" he was told I'm here
you'd said so.'-(Phnadephia Public Ledger.
Rudyard KipIlng appears in an unexpected point
of view. says The London Tattler.' in Mrs Har-
court Williamson's Book of Beauty" to be pub
lished shortly by the Tutchinsons at ten guineas:
that is to say, he has given to the book an ex-
ample Of vers de societe have pleasure in giving
these verses here:
Roses red anu roses white
Pucked l for my loves delight:
She would none of all my posies-
Babe me gather her blue roses
Half the world l wandered through.
Seeking where such flowers grew
Half the world unto my quest
Answered but with laugh and jest.
Home I came at wintertide.
silly love
Seeking with her latest breath
Roses from the arms OF death.
It may be beyond the grave
she shall ma what she would have.
Rdaes w ys5 6 St an 9b,t IDLE r jest st..
The stories told in 1.-The profession Of Mr.. Brook
fields scathing repartee endless saws ..The
Pail Mall Gazette" On ono occasion a voune
actor who had lately made bit of a hit In a
small part regaing few friends at great
length upon the splendid notices" he had re-
ceived and the various merits of his performance
At last Brookhed quietly remarked: But my
dear sir, not really all good in the part
I have never seen you do anything well. hut in
this particular you simply naughty
Indeed" said the young man. bridling m 1T
suppose so distinguished critic yourself would
deny my being actor at ALI" i
Il certainly should" said Mr. BrookdeId
Then what would you call me?" asked the
young man, little recklessy.
Well" said Brookfeld. with a sweet smile IT
think should describe you pardonable error.
Il wish you had broken the news more gently
sighed the editor as the Office boy pied the 6rst
page by dropping the form down a flight of stars
baltimore American
The danger of carrying argument to it's logical
conclusion is thus set forth by The Chicago
Post: They were 4 picnic. Fingers were
made before forks" she laughed as she helped
herself in democratic fashion. Yes" he admitted
land people were made before clothes" She
hastily reached for fork.
An amusing story is told of the editor of 60
ahead London evening newspaper, who. in the etsT
nal rushing TO press 10 get ahead of the oppos,tOn
was constantly lnpresSlng upon his reporters the
necessity for condensing all news ~
A terrific boiler explosion had taken Mace ON
board a big ship lying at Portsmouth. ~
Get down there as hard as you can" he said tO
one of his men, If you catch the II 40 from Lon
don Bridge you'll be there soon after and can inst
wire US something for the nth edition but bon it
down" -
And the reporter went. Soon after O'Clock that
afternoon they got q wire from him:
Terrific explosion. Man-o war. Boiler empty .
Engineer full Funeral to-morrow.'-Lo Tit
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