Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-11-29
A THANKSGIVING GOOSE.

/ minister wished to wed The minister
had an CID Aunt Susan, who kept his
house tidy and was the pest of his life
Aunt Susan had a gray goose-clipped-
winged and broken-legged, presented to
her by a long suffering husband the
Thanksgiving before his overwilling de-
| parture-which fowl was since as the ap-
| pie OF her eye, being, as she expressed it,
'all that's lef' me now of my dear, dead
| husbin." Also, Aunt Susan had a great
niece, who had a beau, who hadn't any
thing. The doctor had solemnly vowed
his daughter should never marry that
pig headed, slab-sided, pious-mouthed
idiot" and Aunt Susan, after some
| weeks attention on the beau's part to
| her pretty niece. had felt it her duty to
| inquire as to his intentions, to which the
| gentleman in question had responded
with dignity: My intentions is hon
orable, ma'am, but not immejit;" and
departed, looking very blue about the
gills ard rejecting on the inalienable re-
lation of fate to finances. Thus matters
stood the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
By Tuesday morning they had shifted so
that Aunt Susan's gray goose lay blink
ing weirdly in the doctors backyard, and
the minister paced the public road and
watched it through the picket fence; the
niece was radiant i'll huge paste dla-
mond engagement ring, and the beau
well, he was engaged. And the way of
it all was this: The doctor and the min
lister had not been on speaking terms
since their little 'setto' at Barney Gro
CAMS deathbed He's a dead man." the
minister had sighed in sepulchral tones,
eyes ceilingward. "Waste no more
drugs; he's done with this worlds vain
show. Stand aside. My sisters, let us
pray, according to the commandment"
Whereupon the doctor had sworn round
" at him. "Confound the command
ment; it's a swig O old rye he needs,
not snivellin' prayers. Tellin' man to
his face he's dead! Yer ha'n't the sense
o yer aunt's gray goose!"
During this cheerful dialogue poor Bar
ney quietly gave up the ghost, whereupon
each berated the other afresh-and there
after met as strangers. 1t was, alas!
subsequent to this that the minister fell
madly in love with the doctors daughter,
who, upon the death of a relative over in
Stumptown, had come home to Logville
to live with her father. As for Aunt
Susan's niece-she had told the beau that
Iii he would give her a ring to wear to
fchurch Thanksgiving day she would
throw Bill Tubbs over and marry him.
With this incentive the beau set his wits
to work At Bill Green's grocery over
in Stumptown they were giving good
prices for goose meat about this time.
There were geese here in Logville. The
minister had geese the doctor had geese
the shoemaker. There was a jeWeler.
too, in Stumptown. There was no doubt
as to the course to pursue. About mid
night of Monday the beau stuffed corn
sack in his capacious pocket and mean
dered in the direction of the weather
boarded little rectangle that served as
| parsonage" The minister, in the self
congratulatOry abandon of an already
completed Thanksgiving discourse, was
snoring in keen rivalry of Aunt Susan's
sonorous tones, and the tluttering among
| the poultry passed unnoticed. As worse
| luck would have it, the old, gray goose
WAS the only one bagged when the sound
of wheels along the high road sent the
Dagger across lots to cover. and later to
! the doctors. While there engaged in
muffling heads ard tying feet, the old,
gray one somehow slipped the bag, and
at the sudden flash of a light from the
erstwhile darkened house the resoureeful
sutton took to his heels, and the old gray
| goose law and bemoaned the vagaries of
fate until morning.
Then public,spirited passerby took
| il. the situation and, chuckling, appraised
Aunt Susan: This is a fitting sequel
to contempt of the holy commandments"
remarked the minister, sententiously. Il
| expected as much" and scenting some
hope of a settlement of the much -vexed
problem of the daughter, he hurried
across the village TO the doctors back
yard. what are yer chewin' at my back
fence with them gimlet eyes o yourn
! fer?" demanded the doctor-then the fet-
| tered goose on the ground squirmed her
manned body and squawked- and the
| doctors jaw fell. All the country side
knew the cut of Aunt Susan's gray goose
I'm ies keepin' little watch over things
| tell the sheriff has time ter fetch the
| Stumptown sheriiI--this here's no laugh
! in matter-lights about Yer house at
| onseemly hours last night" When
| the doctor burst forth-he had set his
| heart on securing a practice over Stump
| town way-if the minister should set
himself to spread such stories-the old
man had about exhausted his stock of
| expletives when his daughter appeared.
would be bad eff the Stumptown people
was TO get ON TO a thing like this" she
| said, softly; nut I've plan, Dad, that'l
| smooth it all over slick as shvers-just
YOU let me tell the minister" with q
| blush that made her Irresistible, that
eff he'll have that ole goose fer Thanks
| giving dmner-and AK us--we ter sort
| O look over things-thinkin' of the flu
f.! ture as it were-why. We'll call it square
all round" The old man was dumb
founded, but pretty lS-year-oid Jerusha
| mad settled them to her own liking with
the black-coated man in the road, and
| Aunt Susan, who came wheeling up at
| this moment. Wa induced to consent &c
the slaughter. so radiant was she over
the sight of her niece's diamond. We'll
| ax her an her beau, too" beamed the
apologize old soul, as they turned to-
ward the house preparatory to talking it