The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-02-16

49,
-rd give nv life to call you wife"
The maiden, long Injured
To caution. murmurcd. is the Ifs
or which you speak insured?"
New York Press.
Trying 20 Be socinbIe.
81 s'pose." said Johnny, who had been
called upon to entertain the unexpected
guest for a few minutes. You have to
Speak a little louder. my dear said the
caller.
Il s'pose," yelled Johnny you have 20
use an ear trumpet. cause your drums
busted"-ChicaEo Tribune.
your Majesty said the court chamber
lain, this is the page who has been be-
having so scandalous!y."
"Ah!" exclaimed the King. "a loose pagel
He must be brought TO book
a royal lest. IN be bound" said the
page. with an opportune laugh. Thereup-
on the King forsaye hHn-Phtadeiphia
Press.
Cant you lcok a little pleasanterT'
asked the photographer. Il wish l couIa,
replied the mani IN the chair with a ghast-
" smile, but I just happen to remember
that l came away from home in a hurry
this morning and left four gas Jets burn
Ing in the basement.
y Ou kTnN lAAlA hAAAN 49, 'N
they call Solemn Sal because rcbody can
make her smile? They offer a reward to
INV one who can" Yes" well l made
her smile all right the other morning"
How did you do itT" II told her she
had the ~prettiest teeth 1 ever saw."-EN-
change.
Piscatorial delights.-Mrs. Innocent:
"What did you enjoy most about your hsh-
ing trip. dear?' Mr.. Innocent: Il got most
excited when / was Keeling in. my love.
Mrs. Innocent 0bursting into tears: Ana
to-to-th-think you promised me y-you
wouldn't d-drink a drop."-Harlem Life
Fetmore: do you see that lady over
there? Well. she's a lady IL there ever
was a lady in the world" Buck: And
what has she done to secure your latterlhg
regard?' Fetmore: Il stepped on her
gown coming downstairs. II was trailing
behind her In that irritating way that
women have: but. of course. l did the gen
tlemanly act and apologized for my care
lessness." Buck: And she?" Fetmore
s.She said to me. Young man, you know
you are lying. It was no fault OF yours:
II was mine. entirely. and II you had pulled
my gown out of the gathers II would have
served me right."-Boston Transcript
Curiosity.
Nrs Hiram Ofen: Dear. I wish you'd
hiring home q dozen Harveyized steel
plates"
Mr.. Offen: what do you meanT'
Mrs. Hiram Often: I'm Just curious to
sec what Bridget would do with them
Philadelphia Press.
George: And If things do not 90 well
with US this year. darling. 1-hem-presuIne
your father will not see US suffer- Birdie
(%sighlng): mo. dear. poor papa's eyesight
IN growing rapidly worse. even nvw.'-Iit-
BitA
Prudenoe: why don't you go to work.
asked tho well-meaning friend. I don't
dare to-" answered Willie Washington.
.'People would think my father had disin-
herited me. and 1t would ruin my credit
Washington Star.
answer yeti" Mabel: Not yet-but I have
given him my final ~o.'"-Brooklyn Life.
'why do you girls call BERTHE The
Poem p "yvhy. he's just like a poeml He's
been rejected at least forty timesT'-Chica-
20 Daily News.
Life IN a Flat: The owner says II We
don't pay our rent he'll make 1t hot for
U.S." Tell him to 20 ahead. That's more
than his janitor has ever ~done.'-Phiia
delphia Evening Bulletin.
Ma Profit in 1t.
'swhat are you kicking aboutf She re-
turned all your presents. didn't shef"
Eyes. but the expressage amounted to
more than the presents were worthl"-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune
A Distinction.
is II an engagement ring 7" said one girl.
mo, answered the other. You have
heard the phrase q circle Of acQuaint-
ancesr"
Yes"
.Weu. this u ons."-washington staA
|
Tho Unusual.
Husband: How did you suspect that I
had been drinking7"
Wife: by your polite manner."-Detroit
Free Press.
He, "she always calls things by their
RICH names"
She: what horrible name die she call
your"-Yonkers Statesman.
He, II don't think I would like to marry
any girl unless 1 knew she was self-sacrt-
ncing." She: But wouldn't that prove it?'
-Tit-Bits.
Short Of Hands: II wished I was an oc-
topus Christmas morning" ''Why7' BE
cause / received eight pairs OF Gloves
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Only Way.
She seemed IN doubt. rs there nothing
i CHI say, ne askeu, tnaI VIII lluuCo you
to give men a favorable answer?'
Nothing that you can say" she m
swered.
rs there anything that can be said by
'Of course. money talks" she inter
rupted, demurely.
Thereupon he showed her his bank bal
ence and everything was happily arranged.
Chicago Post.
81 hear Bronson sung Rocked in the
Cradle of the Deep at the concert"
Yes
did he do It well7'
H did. indeed. 1t was so vivid that
five people left the hall, overcome with
easickness."-Tit- Bits.
Selling some old comic papers the skill
n fui taxidermist proceeded TO fill the de.
<unct animal with them.
Smiling merrily as he worked, re re-
married:
This is a case of stun and nonsense
Baltimore American.
Now. here" said the salesman. as =
very fine umbrella. The handle, you vii
observe. is especially attractive"
That's just what l want to avoid. Every