Waterbury Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury [Connecticut]) 1900-1903, 1902-11-15
SIGNED THE PLEDGE.
Why Nathan Beeswax Joined the
Abstinence Brigade.
Reformed by One of the Finest Cases
of Katxenjammer on Record-A
Night OF Riot Followed by
RemOrse.


'sFellow citizens, I'm SICK said
Nathan Beeswax last night to a
Charleston News and Courier man and
a group of other admirers. There.
was too much refreshment circulating
last evening. / began with beer, shift
ed to old Pepper, finally worked my
way round to Mumm's extra dry and
then went off in a trance. When woke
up this morning thought I was some-
body else. caught glimpse of my
reflection in a mirror and my face
I frightened me so screamed. You
can't imagine how I felt, because
broke the record Of misery. No man
ever did feel like / did and live.
reached for the ice water pitcher and
took gulp. For minute ! thought
I was in Heaven. That water tasted
like ambrosia and nectar. Thirsty?
Don't ask me trivial questions. The
temperature in my system was SO high
that my breath set my moustache on
fire. It was completely destroyed. No
insurance 1 made four efforts to get
out of bed before realized the fatu-
Gus futility Of essaying the impossi-
BILE. ! moaned in my agony. I was
hot one minute and cold the next,
while a clammy and continuous per-
spiration added interest and enjoy
ment to the proceedings. Every lit
tie while strange rigors would seize
me and when I finally dropped into q
fitful slumber / dreamed that an alli-
gator was lying beside me and tanning
me with his long red tongue. Night
mare? No, sir; this was an alligator.
Holler? Why, I'd bet 81 they heard
me yelling on Edisto island. Now
shearken to me: Nathan Beeswax, as
a booze comedian, is no more. I've
coined the Apollinaris brigade. Are
you on p
How did you happen to accumulate
such riotous jag, Mr. BeesWax?"
asked one of his auditors.
well, the material was available,
my boy, and the time somehow seemed
to be opportune. j had been unhappy
for several weeks and yearned for
the company of few frollicking SEN
Stations. wanted to feel glad, as it
were, and forget about bet made
on horse last week that stopped in
the stretch and asked for water. I
opened the performance with beer,
but soon came to the conclusion that
if I wanted to experience that Joy
which passeth all understanding /
would have to switch. So I.chased a
whisper across the bar and a bottle
of crimson fluid nnected with my
good right hand. That was the begin
ming of the end. Ere long / was too
merry for anything. My money also
began to annoy me. / couldn't spend
it fast enough and when / met stran-
ger from Mount Pleasant asked him
if he would allow me to give him So
He said he would oblige me with pleas
ure, but he'd like it better if I'd make
it $50. The suggestion pleased me so
that / wept from sheer JOY and handed
him the $40. / was now at the cham
payne stage of the game and the rap
ids were just below me. ] vaguely re-
member meetingla longshoreman and
asking him who his favorite poet was,
but can't recall what he said Short
Iy afterward the automatic piano be-
gan to play The Holy City and when
the instrument. reached that sJe-ru-
salem note my soul slipped out of its
socket and I passed away. But this
m morning worry, I won't go over
it again. Hereafter address your let
tiers to me in care of the Total Abstain
ers' society Are you on? Then break
aWay!"