The Red Cloud chief., 1902-06-06
ON THE WRONG TRACK
REBuFFs MET BY MAN WHO WANTED
TO BE AGREEABLE.
variety of Topics Chosen for Converse
lion OF No Avail-Attempts of New
Yorker to Platter Kansas Hostess
Meet with Dismal Failure. Il

ut is not always necessary to throw
bouquets when you are out diniq9r
said a New York travelling man. W
| was in a Kansas town not long aN6l
was invited to the home of a customor
to take dinner. A travelling man nevGr
permits himself to misunderstood IN
invitation to eat a home dinner.
my customers wife was one Of
those matter-of-fact, common.sense
women to whom a primrose is a prim-
rose. whether it grows by the rivers
brim or in the %barnyard. Soon after I
was seated at her daintily spread ia.
bic | began fumbling around for some.
thing of a gracious brand to launch
which would show my appreciation Of
her hospitality.
IL opened on butter. 1t was worth
travelling miles to taste such butter as
that on her table! | said a few nice
things about New York, of
all do that-but ! admitted that there
was no such butter in New York as |
found on her table.
She couldn't understand that, for
the butter | was tasting was from a
frkin sent her by express by her aunt
in Herkimer county. Just then | hap
pened to think Of a story and the but.
ter incident was relegated.
I'VE had got down to peas and al.
lowed that there were no peas like the
homegrown kind. 1t added to the
lusciousness of the pea to watch it
grow and Gull 1t from the vine.
she thought otherwise. Her peas
had been a failure ever since the
grasshoppers did her gardening last
year, and George-that was her hus.
bands name-had bought canned peas
ever since. had been throwing tn.
lips at canned peas!
Il think | said something about the
weather, just then. That's what a
man coughs up when he goes against
the rocks. You would think after a
throw.down or two such as l have
mentioned that | would have confined
myself to the monosyllable; and l
would had not the little spoken
of the wild goose she served.
"a least she said in a splendid
way, we can offer you in this some.
thing you don't often have in New
York
'Of course. Allowing much in New
York's favor I must say that the goose
get in the metropolis is a pretty
tame bird. admitted this. And then
| cut loose on the delicious meat Of
the fowl that honks.
Il could conceive of no sport like
Of hunting the wild goose. Then
| quoted something from 'Hiawatha'
about the wawa-Longfellow for wild
goose, you know.
Il said her husband must be a
hunter. OF course 1t is only in
the great open country that the wawa
be hunted. | said. l got a second
round Of wawa, and felt quite satisfied
at last that | had hit the right trail.
the little woman, looking at me
her gray eyes, said:
81 think We are indebted to Mr..
Edison or some n of his school for
The dish we are enjoying. Recently.
quite recently, our modest little city
has been lighting the streets with
electricity.
"'In the night when the sky Is over.
these lights seem to attract the
great flocks of wild geese which pass
his way, and when they get into a
Of the lamps they become con.
used, and even the boys kill them
clubs.
THE wild goose we have this eve
ling is quite modern. 1t was indirect.
y killed by electric light
We'll, il was time to laugh. There
vas nothing else to do. | didn't feel like
I, but | laughed. And so l lifted my
goblet and proposed the health Of my
hostess in the pure, sparkling liquid
which only Kansas could produce.
From Blank Springs in the state
If New York said my hostess.
Then ! laid down; the time left on
ny hands at that house was devoted to
/ discussion Of infant baptism, Cuban
reciprocity. the Philippines, the beef
rNADI nHN1 ' ..- "