davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05
HUMOROUS.

Mrs. Hoyle-I can read my husband
like a book. Mrs. Doyle-You must
have good eyes to read such a small
type.
Nell-You should not treat Mr.. Self.
made as you do He's a diamond in
the rough. Belle-Which proves that
he ought to be cut.
Somebody has sent in slS,669 to
the conscience fund" Say. a man
must be awful rich who can afford to
have conscience like that"
Tommy-Pop, what is scribbler's
itch? Tommys Pop-Scribblers itch,
my son, is disease that forces its
victims to scratch for a living.
81 don't like to have people walk
all over me-" said the snow. Meth.
er do l." replied the thin ice 81 sim
ply can't bear people who do that"
Take keer of yoh money! said Un.
Gle Eben. don't thinl; so much of
dollar dat you loses de opportunity
TO git busy an earn one or two mo-"
"She enjoys conversation. believe"
She thinks she does, but as matter
of fact she doesn't know the differ
ence between conversation and mon.
ologue."
Miss Gush-Isnt her complexion
lovely? It's like beautifully tinted
china cup ] saw Miss Kostique-
Yes; 1t certainly Is beautifully paint
ed mug.
This is a fireproof hotel" said the
bell-boy. without a doubt" assent.
ed the new guest. as he blew his fin.
gers and stamped around to keep
from freezing.
lrate Mother-But why dii you fight
with those street boys? You should
have gotten out of II. Weeping Son
Well, mamma. there was never a mo.
ment when | was in il.
Blobbs-Harduppe says he worries
great deal over money matters.
Slobbs-The money he owes. sup.
pose. Blobbs-No: the money he
would like to borrow and can't.
Girls are inclined to be superficial
| where young men are concerned,
says the Manayunk Philosopher. THE
| fellow who can match ribbons doesn't
! always make the best husband"
Mrs. undergraduates young Mr.
Jenkins. He's engaged to he married
you know. Mrs. Gabble-lndeed?
And is that the young woman with
him now? Mrs. Malaprop-Yes, that's
| his fiasco
Mrs. Muggins-My husband is a
perfect crank. Mrs. Buggins-All hus
bands are, my dear Mrs. Muggins-
But fancy a man who complains that
my mustard plasters are not as strong
as those his mother used to make.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05
CAPTAIN COOK AND cANNleALs.
Portion OF His viscera Said to Have Been
Eaten by Mistake.

Portion OF His viscera Said to Have Been
Eaten by Mistake.
A new version of. the alleged canni-
balism on the body of Captain Cook,
who discovered the Hawaiian Islands,
has been brought to light by the SUI
perintendent of public works. James
Boyd. Captain Cook was killed In
1878 near Kealakakua bay. on the
Kona coast of the island of Hawaii.
The British government erected
monument to his memory near the
place where he was buried. Accord
ing to accepted accounts, parts of
Cooks body were eaten by the natives
who killed him, in the ferocity Of the
passions engendered by the dispute
which led to his death.
Superintendent Boyd. who Is part
Hawaiian, and well versed in Hawai-
ian traditions, recently visited Kona
and met many old Hawaiians, who
received the tale of Captain Cooks
death from witnesses. Boyd gath
cred from them well-connected aC-
count, which varies considerably from
that which has been accepted by the
historians.
After the death of Captain Cook,
who had been regarded by the natives
as a god. il was decided to make an
offering of his body to the gods. The
viscera was taken out and placed in
calabash to be offered to one of the
powerful gods of the sea of Hawaiian
theology, the viscera being considered
higher and better offering than any
other part of the body. The remainder
of the body was to be offered to an
other but less powerful god. While
the viscera was in the calabash. await
ing a suitable time for the sacrifice. IL
was found by children, who, mstak-
ing 1t for the viscera of pig, which
was considered great delicacy, built
fire and cooked and ate most of l..
The remainder of the body. as all ac-
counts substantially agree. was after
ward returned to Cooks successor in
command of his vessel.
Natives who gave this account to
Mr.. Boyd showed him the place where
lnt 'dldDuSn NbntdiHih6 tut NlSNNl a.
was hidden when 1t was found by the
children. The part of Kona where
Captain Cook was killed, though dense
ly populated and a very important
part of the islands at the time of
Cooks death, soon ceased to be I'M
portant by the removal of the Kings
residence to La Haina, and afterward
to Honolulu. as Kamehameha the
Great advanced with his conquest of
the islands. 1t has remained ever since
the place least influenced by alien
immigration. and today more than
anywhere else the Hawaiians of Kona
retain their primitive habits of living,
industries and pagan beliefs, and some
vestiges of the old practices. On this
account Mr.. Boyd thinks this account
of the affair worthy of belief
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05
HISTORIC kAskAsKlA OFF THE MAE
Postmaster General Takes from Once Fa-
nous Capital Its Name.

Postmaster General Takes from Once Fa-
nous Capital Its Name.
Kaskasia, the first capitol of lii
nois, will soon be wiped out of Off
cial existence by an order of the post
master-general. Only five families
now live in the once fourishing town
and the department has decided to
abolish the postoffice and accommo-
date the residents through the oX-
tension of a rural free delivery route
from Fort Gage.
Time was when Kaskasia was a
thriving town-a central point in the
western wilderness, a trading post
known far and wide. It was predict
ed then that Kaskasia would eventu-
ally become the metropolis of the west.
The town was situated at a point
where the worn trails from the south,
north and east united and swept west
ward in the broad path followed Dy
the pioneers.
In 1928 zen. Lafayette visited Kas-
kasia and stopped beneath the roof Of
one of the few houses still standing
in the town. He predicted great fu-
ture for the place. Then came the
devastating flood of 1874, and 40 years
later the Mississippi cut a channel
through the sandy soil above the town
and united its waters with those OF
the Okaw, leaving the town on an
island and destroying all of its future
prospects.
Many of the inhabitants moved tn
the new town of New Kaskasia. two
miles south, where the village organ
ization is still maintained. Numerous
old landmarks and objects of interest
still remain, among them the old Ran
dolph county court house. There is
still a remnant OF the old state houst
clinging tenaciously to the bank o.
the river, but the next fresh will
doubtless undermine and bury ii IN
the sandy bottom of the Father oi
Waters. New York Times.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05
A Wedding Feast.

The wedding feast has from time im-
memorial played an important part in
Maoriland. S. Percy Smitn, the sur
veyor-general of New Zealand, gives
this account of one such feast: THE
guests numbered hundreds. and when
the sweetened paste was to be served
no dish could be found large enoush.
Accordingly large canoe was brought.
cleaned after their by-no-means-pa par =
ticular fashion, and into this the paste
was put. AS the multitude sat about It,,
each dipping in and helping himself
with the mussel-shells, which they use
instead of spoons, greedy child fell
head first into the canoe, being entirely
Immersed in the food. Quickly res
cued, 1t was decided 1t would never do
to waste so much good food, so the
little one was passed from one to an
other along the line Of guests. who
proceeded to lick him over until clean"
--Womai's Home Companion.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

The new Siamese minister at wash
ington is to devote all his time th the
diplomatic relations of his country
with the United States. The old sys-
TEN under which he would have had to
act as representative to England, Hol-
land ana Belgium has come to ar end.
This is very significant, as showing
the serious way in which the Orentals
now regard us as world power, as
compared with their attitude even a
few years ago
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

The moment man ceases to grow
he begins to diminish. Such is the
conclusion at which a German physi-
clan has arrived. after several months
careful study of the subject of human
height. Men, so it is asserted. begin
10 grow smaller in their 35th year, and
women q little before they are 40.
Men. however, stop growing when they
are 30, and for five or six years their
stature remains stationary. Then it
decreases. at first very slowly, but af-
terward more rapidly.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05
AN IMpHEssloNIsT's INVITATION.

Come out, my Love, and stroll with me
Across the cobalt dunes;
Well sit beside the sunset sea
That green-and-grnyly croons,
That dies along the mndder sands
In lines OF scumbled foam;
And then we'll clasp our umber hands,
And mauvely wander home.
Mercy +. Baker, In Harpe's Magazine
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

The bureau of animal industry has
in, the last few years won e high
place in the scientific world, and from
all the civilized countries comes L!gh
praise for what it has accomplished
and for the impetus it has given to
investigation along similar lines.
Veterinarians, agriculturists and the
consumers of meats the world over
owe much to the American bureau"
said distinguished scientist from Eu-
rope recently, who had come to the
United States TO study the methods Of
this department. II is far above any
other institution Of the a.nd in the
world, and our debt 10 it cannot be
overestimated. Its officers are the
most enthusiastic AMI devoted scien-
lists ever met, ana richly deserve
the applause of humanity for what
they have already done and what they
are doing"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

A writer in the Westminster Re-
view remarks that the attitude of Eng
land toward Russia has been ''vacil-
lating, absurd, and without result,
and that the object of British diplo-
macy has apparently been to thwart
important Russian schemes, in order
to obtain unimportant advantages for
Great Britain. There is much truth
In this view Russia has been Tor
many years, to the British ''man in
the street." whose views must ulti-
mateiy come to be those of the Brit
ish government. kind of bogey, al
ways plotting something 10 the detri-
ment of England. For example, the
aim OF British diplomacy was for a
long time to cut Russia off from the
ice-free port on the Pacific which was
a most legitimate requirement OF Rus
sian expansion, and the natural ter
minus of tine trans-Siberian road
which, without such a port. would lose
much of it's usefulness. Now. IN spite
Of Great Britain, though more at the
expense of American than of British
trade. Russia has acquired such port
IN the Gulf of Pe-ChiLi. and the Brit
tsh opposition has been rot ouly un'
svni1ing but irritating. 1t Is certainl,
nj Gsod diplomacy TO incur At thu
nnsns tivss snnity and defeat
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

child are asses. How can explain?"
Suppose you leave the explanation
to your new secretary" said Emily.
Let me suggest" said Spencer, with
a happy smile. that you leave 1t to
the junior member of the new firm of
Quarles e Grant"
And then the grim old man chuckled.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

Where did it come from. No trees
grow anywhere on the coast of west
ern or northern Alaska, and yet these
shores for thousasds of miles and
the islands of Bering sea are strewn
with immense quantities of driftwood,
in places piled high on the beach,
bearing testimony to the work of the
rivers. This drift is the salvation of
the Eskimo, furnishing him with fuel
and material for houses, boats and
sleds. 1t would seem that nature pro.
vides for the necessities of the hui
man race under all circumstances and
conditions.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

II is easier for camel to pass
through the eye OF a needle than 1t is
for rich man to please all with his
charities.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

After all, the world doesn't move
very swiftly. James Hargreavcs, in
ventor of the spinning Jenny was
mobbed. stage coach men tried to
Kill the engineer who piloted the frst
railroad train. Now the Anglo-Ameri-
can Telegraph company orders Mar
conf to get off the piece of earth it
owns or stop trying to perfect an in
vention that may, injure Its cable
traffic.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

Monte Carlo has a special cemetery
for gambling victims who commit sui
eide. Since 1860 over 1000 graves have
been dug there.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

An Ilnnois man after courting his
cousin for 20 years began to fear that
they might not be Temperament ally
fitted for each other, and so he COM
mitted suicide. She kept him guess
ing a good while.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.

The first organ in Boston, offered
to the Brattle Square church in 1913,
was unanimously and curtly declined
hy that organization; and its setting
up in Kings Chapel was attended by
about as much agitation as the intro
duction of the wooden horse into Troy.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

These Japanese mothers in Hawaii
work in the fields, the children being
left at home to grow up more like
animals than human beings. The wife
is the absolute property of her hus-
band, the child of its parent. and H.
year.old girls are sold for immoral pur.
poses for $40.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

A woman cashier has defaulted. This
should end all controversy over the
question whether woman can really
ell mans place or not.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

The Jordan is the "Descender."
During its course it falls over 1900
feet. At no point is it navigable. even
by small craft, to any considerable
distance, and presents the unique
spectacle of river which has never
been navigated flowing into a sea
which contains not one living crea-
ture.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

A Missouri sportsman tells of nun
ter who. on trip through the terri
tory, shot two wild turkeys from the
car platform. The obliging conductor
stopped and backed his train so that
the birds could be picked up, When
he sent in his report Of the delay OF
the "old man" he also sent along a
piece of wild turkey-and everything
was lovely.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

Additional train leaves Punxsutawney for But
ler 4:35 =. NJ. daily, except Sundays.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

In Siberia rivers flow over ice, old
and solid as rock. A tributary of the
Lena river has underneath the soil
which forms the bed of the river, a
bed of pure ice over nine feet thick.
A freak of nature is the lost river in
Kentucky. 1t is known as the Hidden
river. because no one knows its ORR
gin, and it vanishes into a cave lead
ing no one knows where. 1t flows
without a ripple. and is of pale
blush color. Speaking of color, the
Chinese believe that the Yellow river
has always been Of It's present hue,
except one day about 30O0syears ago.
on which occasion a great man was
born. and the water was clear for 2s
hours.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1902-02-05

A case which Is probably UNIQUE in
academic annals happened recently at
the Budapest university. A confirmed
lunatic, an inmate of the local asy-
lrm. appeared at the university, ac'
companied by keeper, ami applied
to pass his examination. He was
quite successful in all the tests. and
having duly received his diploma as
a professor he returned to the asy-
lUm.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Mrs. Perry Bruner, of Audubon
township returned, last Friday,
from her fathers home in Illinois,
where she was called a couple of
weeks, since on account of his
serious illness, but before coming
home he was was pronounced out
of danger. On her departure for
home, she was the recipient of a
new organ, her fathers gift, which
she values very highly.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Anthony Till loaded his house
hold and other goods on car, last
Monday, aud has moved to some
point in Wisconsin. Mr.. Till and
family have resided east of town for
number of years on what is now
known as the komnes farm and
have many friends here who are
sorry to have them go but their best
wishes follow this family to their
new home
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

If you wish to attend the evening
services in Atlantic, next week, talk
it over with your neigh Dor and Rev.
Sunday will wrestle with the rail
way magnates with a view of get
ting an extra train and special
rates for at least two or three even.
ings each week. You can 90 down,
attend the services and still get
home before midnight.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

There will be "pink tea social
held at the residence of N. P. Chris
Jensen, on Friday February 2Sth,
under management of the Christian
Endeavor society. The small sum
ften cents will carry you through
the entire program.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

AS will be seen by the Secretary's
statement of the finances of the In
dependent District of Extra, the
funds have been handled discreet
ly and the District is out of debt
and in each fund there is good
healthy balance on the right side of
the ledger. The estimate for the
Teachers fund for the coming
school year is laid at 100000, Con-
tingent $l200.00 and the school
house fund $4,000.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Ed Shannon, of Atlantic, former
ly in the livery business in West
Extra, was in the city on Friday.
He is now engaged in the real es-
tate business and is meeting with
good success.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Albert Guidlnger goes around
this week with his nose covered
with court plaster as the result of
trying to push a two by eight scant-
ling in front of him when his feet
slipped from under him and he fell
on the timber, barking his nose
pretty bad.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Nick Bintner of Usage Hedge
Farm" south of town sold 20 head of
steer calves one day recently 10 his
brother Shompier, receiving $50. per
head.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

The Daily Nonpareil, of Council
Bluffs, Iowa, has more rural route
subscribers than any other news
paper in the state. 1t makes a
specially of news that is of particu-
lar interest to it's country readers.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Otto Witthauer has more business
this winter than land agent, being
engaged in clerking at sales and ar
ranging the settlements before the
removal of the property.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Will Stoner and wife returned
last week, from out in the west part
of this state, where they went a
few weeks ago, seeking for place
to locate. but we understand with.
out securing it.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Jens P. Wilson, who resided for a
number of years, four miles north
west of town. bought farm five
miles south of Guthrie Center and
is now moving there.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

LLOYD Miller, who has been visit
ing his sister, Mrs. c.. d. West, who
with her husband and children re-
side one mile north of town, left last
Monday for Culbertson, Montana,
over the Great Northern. He is en-
gagged in herding stock in that
region.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Nate and Will Andrews. the mar
ket gardeners of West Extra, pur-
chased the John Dodge property on
Washington street, west of the
school house, last Saturday.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Mrs. Hellyer went to Atlantic
last Friday and visited until Mon
day with her son and two daugh.
tiers, who reside there.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Lester Basham came up from his
Des Moines home, the last of the
week, for a short visit with his
brother Frank and sister, Mrs. N. p.
Christensen. of this city.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

]. B. Bintner, otherwise Shompier
was dawn to serve on the grand
jury which convenes about March
fourth.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Ralph Hawks, of southeast Extra
township, is having a two room adj
dition on his house Chas. Milliman
doing the carpenter work.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

The Littleheld boys, over on the
Troublesome, bagged three jack
rabbits this winter, on their farm,
which they pronounce the genuine
article.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Mrs. Noah Deaton, daughter of
Mrs. ]. ]. Hensley, of this city, re-
turned to her home, in Des Moines,
last week after a good visit with her
mother and other friends.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

The person that has not contract
ed cold, within the past week, is
indeed in luck and ought to feel
happy.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Two of ]. w. Kline's children are
on the sick list this week.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Chas. Frederick is engaged in
boring we'll for Doug Halnlin tc
supply water for his saw mill en-.
CINE down on Troublesome.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

John Tharnish shipped his goods
to Dexter, last Tuesday, near which
city he owns farm, and ohm drove
his teams overland.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Tom Adair, of near North Branch,
looked at the horse and then at the
$4,000 and concluded he would take
the money and the buyer took the
horse, last Friday.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Burr Oak Fence Posts at Joh1
Plantz's, at the old Natty Hamlir
farm for the next two years.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Walter Delahoyde has quit work
ing in creamery at Hartley, Iowa,
and is once more under the paren-
tai roof.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Harrison, the paper-hanger has
just received seventy-five different
1902 patterns of wall paperin tapest-
ry, ingram, delts and other designs
at from two cents up. Call at the
Racket Store. If
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Charles Frederick's little girl
is on the list of children confined to
the house by sickness this week.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Will Varney, of the D. E. Shraug.
er force was obliged go to his board.
ing house, last Saturday, on account
of illness.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

. Sherm F. Myers, editor of The
Tribune at Anita, has been reap
pointed postmaster of that CITY,
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

The ]. M. Thomas residence is rent
ed to gentleman from Illinois who
will soon arrive here and will stay
in the city and keep his eyes open
for a good farm
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

1000, double rolls of wall paper
now open for inspection and sale at
Harrisons. If
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Joe Chase is moving Wills Huffs
house. on Troublesome, out onto
the farm the latter purchased of
Harry Nicholson.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

White Pine and Spruce Er-
pectOr07at. the best remedy
Tor coughs and colds. Pre-
pared by Nick D0Hiny Dc Co.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Jones the butcher, has added to
the interior of his shop by having
1T re-papered, Harrison doing the
work
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Willis jenkins, of Atlantic, visit
ed with friends in this city, the lat
| ter part of the week.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Wilbert and Carrie jennings
started for Loretto, Illinois, on Sat
urday in response to word receiv-
ed that their mother was sick and
not expected to recover
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-27

Waldemar Hansen will work for
Woodward, in the blacksmith shop,
this summer, so it is said.