Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-01-30
THE DAILY
SHORT STORY.
The Practical
Versus the Ideal


ways get on. The explanation may be
in the fact that the former have nc
originality TO lift them above the Level
OF competition and the latter have
genius.
My wife soon after we We're married
developed a passion for what 1 called
old trumpery. She attended auctions
and any hideous rug, rickety clock or
crazy chair put up for sale was sure to
be bid in by her to lumber up the
house. AS to bric-a-brac. L couldn't
turn round without smashing some un-
calmly pitcher, big at the giTth and lit
tie at the bottom, especially made to
be knocked over. There were old
swords. old blunderbusses, pieces of
armOr, rugs so hOmely that it would
make one sick to walk over them, en-
cravings yellow with age, pieces of
tapestry with pictures on them of stlff
looking people looking sour as.vinegar.
In short. everything in the house was
either old or ugly or both.
A practical man, with no nonsense
about me, / managed to keep the wolf
from the door as a bookkeeper. l had
inherited 5000 from my father, which
1 placed in a savings bank to draw
per cent interest. 1t did not remain
there long. My wife's insane passion
for auction purchases ate into it gradu-
ally, but surely, till my nest egg had
been turned into lot of miscellaneous
truck which any sane man would con-
slider fit only for junkshOp.
Mrs. Moneypenny had friends who
were as crazy on this subject as her.
self. They would come into the house
and go from room to room admiring
this bit of coffee colored lace, tit only
for a rag bag; that miniature of some
fat woman. with a coronet on her head,
in a Clipped oval frame; a clock with
n pair of rusty weights weighing per
hapS twenty pounds each and the sound
OF donkey engine in winding. Then
they would go away. thanking her for
showing them her collection"
MY dear" l said one day to her de-
spairingly, my 5000 is reduced to
five hundred"
Five hundred, Then l made a mis-
take in my figures. l thought there was
only three hundred. After all, l can
get it,
Get WHAT" l cried. aghast.
1.-The Rembrandt l have absolute
proof that il is genuine, and it is going
for a song"
"Oh. heavens" l muttered. sinking
on to Il sofa-'to be tied to n lunatic.
and to think what is to become of our
poor children
She sat down beside me and put her
arms about me. but said nothing. What
could she say? She was under the con-
troll of her passion. with no power to
resist IL. She must be not only dragged
down TO poverty herself. but drag hus-
band and children with her. Within
hours she had the last cent
in the savings bank and got her pic
ture. n dingy painting of man dress
ed like a supernumerary in n theater.
the only feature plainly visible being
the tip of n red nose.
The day after the thing was brought
home one Of her friends. lady, met
me on the street and congratulated me
on the valuable addition to my "collec-
ton"
1 stared at her grimly and passed on,
while she looked at me, wondering IL
had lost my senses.
Going home, / abused my-wife for an
hour. She was patient about it and
made no reply, but at last, when beg
ged her to get rid of the stuff and re-
form, she agreed to do so.
Every WELL" replied. Il will send
for Moses, who will make you n bid
for the lot. We may get a few hun
lred dollars out of it,
Leave that to me, dear" she replied. !
You haven't time. Go to business, and |
[. will do all that is necessary
The next day the morning paper con- |
aimed a notice that Mrs. Moneypenny |
was to sell at auction her treasures, |
which she had been years Accumulate |
ng. as she was about to 90 abroad to |
make another collection"
At sight of this announcement / |
nearly tainted, but revived on remem-
,ering that the rubbage was to be sold. |
For days before the sale l was beset |
1y people with printed lists in their |
lands asking me what such a number |
Ould be had for at private sale. l |
urned away from all. saying that / /
lidn't know and / didn't care-proba-
'ly a dollar would secure anything in
he lot, and it would be a large price.
Well. the sale came off. was busy
t the office making a trial balance
nd got home after it was all over.
Every body had gone. and l found my
wife looking depressed. When 1 saw
he house devoid of the trumpery with
which it had been incumbered, 1 re-
diced.
THANK heaven" 1 exclaimed, "it's
onel What did you save out of the
7reckT"
"Unluckily. two of the persons / ex-
ected would take the most of it ut the
argest prices were suddenly called
way, and that spoiled everything"
'How much?' 1 asked.
81 had figured on $4,000, but didn't
ct it,
"You mean $3.50"
mo; the total is S17.95o. and four
of this is for the Rembrandt.
he rest went very cheap-that is, con-