The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-20

Adam (to policeman)-,oh, sir. please ss;
sir this ere little girl as been a and lost lost
ler-
What is tits a la on the meenoo for?'
Sometimes it is there" replied the
other country cousin, who was CITY nroAe,
Ito excuse the cooking, and sometimes 10
excuse the prices they charge. '-lndlanop-
oils News
Some people," said Uncle Eben. takes
credit fob Iookin' on de bright side when when
dey is simply takin' life easy an ,gettin
trouble comes Washington Star.
DO you believe in letting the office seek
No" answered the practical politician.
Il regard office under this government
with too much respect to allow It to put
Washington Star
.svhy is it?" remarked the Observer of
Events and Things that they always
throw old shoes at fighting catS-and at
young married couples?'' Yonkers States
man.
The difference between humor and books
And that which we hear after meals:
The formers as old as it looks,
The latter as young as 1t ieels-
Philadelphia Press.
1.-THE minister who on a certain Sunday
PRAYED for rain remarked the observer
of a hit with his congregation, for the
rea son that he himself left his umbrella
at me.''-Yonkers Statesman
HE claims she drove him to drink"
well, she couldn't have done It II ne
hadn't been headed in that direction. =
Chicago Post.
Foote Lighte-why do they call the
theatrical pusher IAN anger? lie hasn t
any Sue " BreSte-No: he hasn't, but he finds
his money has.-Yonkers Statesman
eff people are 90 crazy for outdoor ex-
ercise 1 don't see why they don't get up
stvVoi,Idn't DO at ALL The difference be-
tween exercise and work is that exercise
accomplishas nothing-Chlcago Evening
Post
/ land you still insist that your flying
machine is a practical commercial guam
- 4 do" answered the businesslike in
show you the gate receipts. Washington
Star.
.eWhy. Willie, you didn't take off your
can to the minister
To him? Great Scott. I'm his caddier
Life.
Il see that case of yours is on. Jury
drawn yet
above the average in intelligence. eh?'
mo; way below t'-Philadelphia Press
.eYes. he swindled u.s. said one of the
victims land we considered him such a
perfect gentleman; he had such a gentle,
suave way about him."
the way of the transgressor. is sometimes
soft''-CathoIic Standard and Times.
If the world does owe us a living it IS
quite evident that it is not worrying about
its liabilities.-Puck.
caller-whats all that bowling up
mrs Mrs. Boarder-That faith-cure doctor
has the toothache.-New York Weekly
..And where is Wall street 1ocated?''
tOh, it's a halfway station between the
Statue of Liberty and the House OF Rep
resentatives- Papa, am l bright Doy!
''Phenomenally so, my son. Life
She's always dreadfully oyerdressed.,
Yes but / don't believe it's quite due
so much to a lack of taste as to a lack of
means PUCK.
How much sooner it gets too dark to
saw wood than it does to play golf
Atchison Globe.
Cupid Ito policeman-See here. you ar
rest me for not wearing bathing suit.
and I'll queer you with every servant
girl on the beach.-Puck.
Uncle Josh-It seems ter me there's jest
two things you kin do if you've got rheu-
Uncle silas-Whats them?
Uncle Josh-You kin grin an bear it, or
you don't need ter gTin.-Puck-
Lawrence and Return SIC via Santa Fe
Inauguration festivities University Of
Is. Final limit October 20.