Sunday Washington globe., 1902-03-30

farmer:
II am prepared TO declare that there are
twenty gold brick artists in tile country to
every one you can find in big city said
the gentleman. The papers print many
stories about the confidence men who prowl
the city streets looking tor visitors from the
country with mice In their whiskers. They
say nothing at all about the rural residents
who keep even keener lookout for mon
with white shirts, creased trousers and
polished shoes.
From actual experience | am convinced
that the average farmer has a regular scale
of prices for everything he has to sell,
which rises exactly in proportion as he
sizes up the prosperity of his prospective
customer. In the first place a man who
looks as if he came from the city is obliged
to pay at least 20 per cent more for the same
article than would a fellow-cultivator Of the
soil. The official scale which seems to have
been adopted by the Farmers Union runs
something like this:
If a customers shoes are polished adj
vance of 5 per cent
If customer wears white SHIRT and collar,
advance of 10 per cent
If customers trousers are creased, adj
vance of IS per cent.
If customer wears silk hat, advance Of 20
per cent.
If customer wears diamond stud, advance
of IS per cent
Don't get the idea that ! am talking
through my headgear. Let me tell you
what happened the other day to a friend of
mine who lives on north shore farm in
the summer and comes to the city almost
every day.
MY friend is a good looking, we'll
dressed chap and he has done great many
favors for the farmers who live close by his
summer home. His place is four miles
from the county seat The other day his
coachman told him that a couple of tons of
hay were needed and as he had nothing
better to do, he hitched up and drove over
to the nearest farm house.
Gould he buy a ton of hay2
Yes, but hay was mighty scarce and
high If he would send his man over and
handle aud haul the hay himself he could
have a ton for SIS.
my friend thought it pretty high price,
but took IL for granted that his next-door
neighbor would not swindle him and made
the deal He had his man hitch up TO a
hay rack aud haul the load over to his barn.
"A few mornings later my friend hap
pened to be in tile county seat aud to be
calling at the office Of man who deals in
hay and feed. While he was there the
farmer from whom he had bought came in
and the dealer paid him for two tons of hay.
II developed that the farmer had hauled
the hay in four miles to the town and then
sold it for $I2 ton
My friend hunted up the farmer and
gave him piece of his mind in extremely
vigorous and somewhat profane English,
bnt have no idea that will have any effect
on the rural citizen the next time he meets
a sucker from the city
Here's another case which illustrates
the same tendency, told a real estate man
in the county seat that l wanted to buy a
little farm and asked him to hunt up some.
thing for me- could use anything between
twenty and fifty acres. He came back
finally and reported that he had place of
forty-6ve acres, which he thought might be
what | wanted, He said that the owner
wanted hundred dollars an acre for the
land, and that while the figure was high,
it was perhaps worth it. l had my team
hitched up, and we drove out to look az the
farm. When we got to the farm house
the man was not there, so we started out to
look at the place. It was good land not
far from town. and was just what had
been looking for.
" I'll take the place, ! said iually to the
real estate agent. IN pay 500 an acre for
il if have to, but I'll try to get it for less.
I'VE drove back to the house and found
that the owner had just come up stopped
my team in the road and said to him: L
hear you want to SELL
" Ven Do Won want 10 buv2'
What do you want an acre?
"'What do you want the place for?'
You needn't mind that. Tell me what
you'll take fot it,
'The farmer looked me over from head
to foot. Unfortunately l was wearing a
pair of patent leather shoes I am con-
vnced they added at least $40 an acre to the
price. / also wore a somewhat high collar.
which boosted the figure about SIS an acre,
and | was driving a good team Of horses,
which must have been responsible for the
rest of the raise. At any rate, after the
farmer had looked me over carefully he bit
off the straw he had been holding in his
mouth and made answer:
Wall, = he said. 'Gll let you have tile
place for $500 an acre.
II was too much Disguised to do more
than look at him aud say, Goodbye
"A week or two later ! made up' my
coachman to look like a genuine, simon
pure country man and sent him out In
rattle trap wagon driving a spawned horse
He spent half a day dickering' with the
owner Of the land, and finally bought II for
SIS an acre. After / took possession the
original owner came over to see ME in
perfect fury and accused me Of cheating
him. I ordered him of the place and told
him that if he had not tried to gold brick
me, would gladly have paid him 500 an
acre. That was one Of the few times ever
succe, ded in getting the better Of one of
these rural hold up men. / am convinced
that If had been driving three horses the
day first went out to look at the place he
would have charged me $500 an acre for the
land.
Another time recently drove out into
the country 10 buy some oats from the farm
ers. l thought 1t would be decent and
neighborly to buy from some Of the people