Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1902-06-18
POLITICS AND POTATO BUGS.
Uncle Josiah and His Wife, Metury, on the
Situation-A New Mixture.

Editors Courier: Politicians anG
potato bugs are on the go these days
The supply exceeds the demand with
the unfavorable prospect for more tc
come.
Uncle Josiah's present condition
financially and stomachly speaking
has been due largely to the influence
and presence of these otherwise very
different, but up-to-date, animals
While Uncle Josiah has been hank.
erin too much after politics the
potato bugs have been hankerin
after his potato patch.
"Me good lady, Metury, who has
wonderful philosophical propensities
about the dark side of life on the
dark of the moon, has converted the
old man of late on the subject OF
politics. In fact she has 80 brought
me to my senses that am fghtin
mad with myself for ever going into
politics, and it makes me uncomfort,
ably uneasy when l see my friends
placing their political and moral des,
tiny in the hands of the tickle
minded voters of our couL try.
| am speaking from experience,
and, like Metury, have come to hate
politics as much as she says she hates
potato bugs.
Metury told me when l first ran
for Office, and came near being
elected, that it would be the ruina-
tion Of us, and her prophesy is all
TOO true, for we have been fighting
the wolf from the door and sleeping
under mortgages ever since.
"Going into politics is a much
easier job than coming out" says
Metury. The worry and wrinkles
that they have brought to me al
ways reminds her of the trouble she
has with them trifling potato bugs
which she even talks about in her
sleep.
"Well, JOSIAH" she says, 81 will
just have to give it up. I have
searched every newspaper and alma
nae in the house on the look for a
remedy, and, with all the help of
Perish Green, Auntie and Uncle Green
and all the little Greens in spite of
me, believe that six come to act
as pail bearers to every one 1 kill.
Next year I'm going to soak my
potatoes in one part turpentine, one
part kerosine oil, to two parts kianna
pepper, and then if l don't succeed
in driving Mr.. Pototo Bug away l
will decide that 1 am working
against providence, and that he is in
a title TO his share of sunshine and
potatoes and stripes, as we'll as these
political animals of broadcloth pre-
tentions and silk hats that don't
wear stripes, but orght to.
"But, 'Siah, with all of his trouble,
Mr.. Potato Bug has taught me some
valuable leasons. He is neither a
politician nor hypocrite. He al
ways wears his colors and fights on
his own ground. I always know
just where to find him, for if he has
the monomania for any one thing
that one thing is the Irish potato.
He says of himself: Il am a potato
bug; have right to exit, because
| am, and potatoes are; from what
species of primordial activity l origi-
mated, it hath not yet been concluded
what | will be when 1 pass from the
here into the hereafter, it doth not
yet appear; but this l do know, |
am very much here for the present,
and as long as potatoes have eyes
propose to have stripes, and the
more you strike my back the more
my race will multiply
"From which soliloquy and from
experience we learn that he has some
very stayable characteristics-a fact
which is very much lacking in Mr..
Politician, except about meal time.
1t l have to raise potatoes to feed
bugs on, | want it to be the kind
that Providence sends, for prefer
to feed those to these latter day
political humbugs.
81 look upon politicians as second.
class folks, and am going 10 give
them second-class fare. Last. wear
meat skins, dried apple peelings and
wheat bran, furnish a variety which
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