The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-09-21

B Mangled in a )
S Mergenthaler s
Good morningl Did you have your
sausage plain or boraxized?
Take your umbrella with you. The
average now is three rains a day.
And now all the other Oyster Bay
oysters are lying awake nights in fear
that they will be hit by a trolley car.
Anyhow, Tom Johnson is something
new. Nobody else running for the
presidency ever tried to ride into the
White House in an automobile through
a circus tent.
The suspense is over. The ST. Paul
base ball team will not be obliged to
submit to the humiliation of flying the
American association pennant Of 1902.
No, Madge, dog days are not just for
dogs and Indian summer just for In
dlanS. The hogs are in on the good
Things of dog days and the other In
dams" are also entitled to the best
they can get out Of Indian summer.
Every man buying coal this fall gets
at least two Jumps. The larger of
these is usually in his throat when he
gets the bill.
One swallow doesn't make a summer,
but one urinary will last a WbO1a 1of
of citizens a lifetime.
Secretary Root hopes Gen. Miles will
not consider it necessary to hurry home
from he Philippines.
Football hair is again in fashion. So
are bald-headed men, by the way.
An anxious public is still waiting to
hear what Hetty Green and Russell
Sage are going to do with their SWag.
There is lots of room for libraries, hos
pitfalls and homes for the aged all over
this clover-bedecked land. Don't both
speak at once.
Although Sam Small is on the water
wagon they are permitting him to take
in all champagne air he can stand.
A Chicagoan has disappeared with a
two-story frame house. In a less
smoky place such a thing could not
occur.
The maligned young woman with the
horse whip might find activity in Mani
toba. There is a great demand for
t~hrashers up there.
Sir Wilfrid Laurier describes the
United States as a gigantic furnace"
Hot stuff!
AS we understand it the grain corner
of the future will not be quite so dis
tressingly angular.
The shah of Persia took twenty tons
of baggage with him to st. Petersburg.
AT that a two-pound grip ought to be
enough for such a piece of excess bag
gage" as the shah.
In spite of the fact that the United
States claims to treat its women bet
ter thar any other nation on earth, GEN.
sus figures show that $50, 600 women
work as farm hands in this country.
Those fellows who are paying $4,000
each for seats on the New York stock
exchange are likely to sit down so hard
that they will jar their teeth.
The New York police are busily look
ing for John Doe. Perhaps he is at the
bakery.
Amelia Bingham scolds Chicago for
not liking anything New York does.
Where have o been, Amelia, that you
did not find this out thirty years ago?
One is forced to the conclusion that
Nicholas Fish lived up to his name.
There is an oyster famine. At the
church sociable 1t will be oyster, oys-
ter; who's got the oyster.
The sewing machine trust looks like
thirty million dollars. 1t will now pro-
coed no doubt to make the poor sewing
girl look like thirty cents.
The secondary is much more serious
than the primary to about 100 Of the
'late" candidates.
Nj. Henderson had merely heard
that the trust storm in Iowa was not
going to be good for such Republicans
as might be out the first week in No
yember.
took to heart the sentiment of that
beautiful old hymn, "Blest be the Tighe
that binds"
The blacklist cloud on the horizon
Anthracite coal.
Chicago is getting to be quite a Sun
day schoolish town. A citizen of that
burg said to his telephone the other
day, ITO hell with you." Justice
Dooley assessed him $40 for using pro-
family in the presence OF ladies, as the
hello" girl was listening at the other
end.
The bicycle trust was pretty speedy,
but it wasn't fast enough to keep out
Of the hands of a receiver.
Gen. Ma, the able Chinese general,
has been slain in battle. The Chinese
supply OF Mas is, however, still suffici-
entity large.
1t was a sort of pipe dream" the i'm
preston the Louisville people got that
their club would win the American
association baseball pennant. 1t was
pleasant, but couldn't last always.
Do you notice that double feeling
warmth in the collar and a SILVER along
the spinal column-when you think of
the winter Goa bill?
A little urging might cause Grand
Duke Boris to conclude to become a
chorus girl himself.
Unfortunately, Mr.. Roosevelt will not
have time this week to go into the
main streets of Duluth and shoot bears.