The Savannah morning news., 1902-02-22
They Bought the Cow.

One of the older horsemen at the
club was in a reminiscent mood, says
the Chicago Record Herald, and talked
pleasantly of early adventures between
idle whiffs of a good cigar. Said he:
Riley was a friend of my youth,
gifted with that courage and gayety of
mind so much esteemed by Stevenson.
Together with some capitalists we were
in Paducah, Ky, looking after a num-
Der of yearlings, and at night we
whiled away the time playing cards at
the hotel, which was on the outskirts OF
town. OF course sundry refreshments
were served during these sittings, and
l remember that on one occasion Riley
proposed a milk punch.
The suggestion was greeted with
applause, but upon ringing up the
steward we were informed that there
was not a drop of milk in the house:
moreover. the hour was too late to
hope for finding anyone awake on the
neighboring farms.
Riley summoned the colored porter.
VINO keeps a COW in the neighbour
hood" he demanded.
Smif an Jones, an Robinson, an
." Do they lock the barns?' inter-
rupted Riley.
mo. sir"
me?' challenged Riley.
Il volunteered, agreeing that we
should pay for the milk on the NOR
row, and so the expedition was formed.
Fearing that the hotel people might be
gone by the time we returned we had
them empty two quarts of old whisky
into a tin pail Armed with this, We
sailed forth. The colored porter,
whom we bribed to accompany us,
was our guide.
I'VE made for the first barn we saw.
The porter tried to dissaude us, pro-
testing that the owner kept a shot
gun and slept in the stable. having
been recently robbed by tramps.
g He kill yo' sho'!" declared the boy,
and he fed for his life.
Inside the barn it was as dark as
pitch. We struck a light, which we
extinguiShed as soon as we had To-
Gated the COW. Then we got to work
without delay. / did the milking, while
Riley undertook to keep the COW quiet.
Just as l was finishing, Riley uttered
a queer groan, followed by an cutlery.
The COW had pinned him to the wall,
and was grinding him as though pos
sessed.
THE inevitable happened. Awakened
by Riley's voice, the ogre of the prem
ises came down on US like a thun-
derbolt, accompanied by a shotgun
and two assistants with clubs and lam
terms.
Don't shoot" I yelled graphing
valorously with the COW. We surren-
der!'
What are We dom there?' growled
the farmer.
Il was silent.
" We came to look at the GOVT
gasped Riley, who was as cool as sliced
cucumber and just about as thick.
What do you want to look at that
COW for?'-fngering the gun.
We wish to buy it, said Riley,
escaping from his perilous position.
II took the cue, and we closed a
bargain then and there. The COW was
were glad to escape with our lives, and
left our pail behind us.
early the next day we had some
callers-the farmer and his sons. They
came Keeling into the hotel, arm in
arm, like tipsy sailors. The old man
shook me cordially by the hand.
" Did you milk that COW last night?'
he demanded
" Yes, sir
" Ibid you put the milk into the pail
that you left in the barn?'
Yes, sir
1.-THE farmer grinned happily. we
drank the milk he declared, thickly.
You all have a great bargain. If we
had her back you couldn't buy her
for her weight in gold; could they,
boys?'
% No, Stree chimed in the boys as
one man."