West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-03-13
THE JERICHO POSTOFF|CE.
PAP PERKINS. THE VENERABLE
POSTMASTER TELLS OF THE
CASE 90 SAN HOPKINS.

NaAiH tNat nc htNle most OF MS Negc
tables. II was the general opinion
thar be would some day land in jail.
One day Ezra Taylor missed one Of
hts hogs. ADD after searching over
most of the Township a lot of
fresh pork vas found in Sam Hop.
kins' house, and his wife confessed
that sam stole the hog. lie didn't
have much TO say about il himself,
thinking as they couldn't find the
hoofs and bristles he was safe from
the law, but they went ahead and
made out a case, and Sam was sent
10 prison for three years Nobody
bad anything TO say in his favor IN
al he'd served two years on his
term. He was getting along all
right, having gained IS pounds Of
fat and being lazier than ever, but
his wife broke her leg. and that set
people to talking again. Ebene-
zer Holdfast was the first man to
come out in square bold way.
One night, as the usual crowd sat
around the stove in the postoffice
waiting for the mail Ebenezer
spoke up and said
"Boys, whoever stole Ezra Tay.
lor's hog must have had to drive il
mile and a-half in the dark and
rain. Then he had to kill and
scald il and cut il up and salt the
meat.
"Of course he did. replies three
or four in chorus.
"Well, does any man here be-
lieve that Sam Hopkins ever went
TO all that trouble ? Not by ajugful :
lie was too burned lazy for that, as
we all know You couldn't have
hired him to drive a hog a mile for
a five dollar bill"
How did he get the fresh pork p
asks Moses Turner.
Dunno. He said he found il in
the road, you remember. Sam
might have got enough ambition to
carry home a hundred pounds Of
meat he'd stumbled over in the
road It's always been my opinion
that We hustled Sam a leetle too
hard"
"Can anything be done about il
now 2" asks Aaron Scott as he
bitches around on the head Of a
barrel in a conscience stricken way.
Cant say" replies Ebenezer,
"bui I'm going to think IL over. II
Sam Hopkins didn't steal that hog.
and don't see how any one can
believe he did. the governor ought
to pardon him out Of prison.
don't say we'd have the band out 10
meet him and kill any fa,ted calf,
bu, IL would ease some Of our con
sciences a ieeue."
That was the beginning, and the
thing grew 2 ght along. When folks
came 10 take Sans laliness into &C.
count, they began 20 believe that
there was something queer about the
case, and after a time a public
meeting was called 70 get The pop.
ular sentiment Ebenezer Hold.
fast was made chairman, and III had
a speech an ready. He'd been
hunting up hIs figures. and be had
'em TO huri az the meeting. lie
went clear back 90 the days o. The
Roman empire and proved that no
man too lazy 90 wash his face once
a month or 90 cut he toe nails once
in six had ever been convicted OF
stealing a hog and working all night
90 hide the meat Nobody Who bad
lost fresh pork on the highway had
come forward 90 saJ so. but maybe
he bad dropped dead ~ heart dis.
ease or forgotten The clrcums,au-c .
Loenezer was followed b} STAR
roe'ai Johnson, who had made ur
bis mind Co say something, whether
DC h't The case or no. He went
over one oi DIS FOURTH of Jolly ora.
t'os and got .he audience tn Fhoop-