The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-02-08
GRIDIRON JOKES.
Iowa in the Cabinet and the Coming
of Prince Henry.

New York Press.
The Academic Franchise Is not the only
institution that boasts its Forty Immortals.
We nave in Washington the Gridiron Club,
with its Forty. Robert j. Wynne is presi-
dent for 1902. At the annual dinner on the
evening of Jan. Is, at which the President,
members of the Cabinet, senators, repre-
sentatives and other public men from all
over the country were guests, 1t was an
nounced that the Cabinet on July 1 would
be constituted as follows: Secretary of the
treasury, Shaw, of Iowa; secretary of ag-
r:culture, Wilson, of Iowa; secretary of
state, Allison, of Iowa; secretary of the
navy, Dolliver, of Iowa; secretary of war,
Lacey, OF Iowa; attorney general, Hepburn,
of Iowa; secretary of the interior, Cousins,
of Iowa; postmaster general, Lot THOMAS,
In this way Iowa is getting to be such a
joke that hereafter no man from that State
can expect to obtain a public office under
the national government. This proposed
Cabinet, with Henderson in the a~ll-power-
full ~speakership of the House, indicates.a
willingness of the Gridironers to turn the
United States over to the Hawkeyes.
wAxn Gridir9ner, addressing President esmt
Club, and we must send a distinguished
party to New York to meet him" Sugges-
tions came thick and fast. Senator Dubois
was ruled out, because he wouldn't stay
III Liz PdILS 1OA6 ChOdsA cNCn " 6Ct "
New York. Then it was decided that the
qualifications for a place on the committee
of reception should be enumerated: w
want a man of letters" said a clubman.
Henry c. Payne, the new postmaster gen.
eral!' shouted a member. He must be a
married man." continued the speaker.
much married man" Senator Depewi"
exclaimed everybody in chorus. "a man
who knows the country George Boyd!'
"A man who never quits" Half a dozen
OfiCehOlderS Were lOudlv mentioned Henry
Clay Evans being presented from several
parts of the room. The choice finally mar
speeches of ~friendliness for Germany pre-
eminently fitted him for the position"
Senator Hanna, although II seems abb
surd to send a king to meet a mere prince"
and Senator German, because he is the
heir apparent to the American throne"
Lydia Pinkham's class in arithmetic
showed OFF. This was the first example:
George h. Daniels says that the Empire
State express regularly loses thirty-fve
miles between Schenectady and Pough-
keepsie. Allowing twenty minutes at SYRIA
taurant what time will 1t arrive in Peeks-
kill?" One of the scholars raised his hand.
I'm time for a new story by Chauncey NJ.
Depew,' was his answer amid laughter.
That will be never" said the class SOL
EMMY, whereat there was another outburs
in which Depew heartily Joined.
The exercises were closed by a request
from the teacher that Congressman ]. G..
Cannon, Of Illinois. one of the more digni-
ned members Of the House, would deliver
one of his edifying addresses. As the vet
eran Uncle Joe" arose in compliance the
hearts OF the scholars were gladdened by
the announcement that all who had been
good might go home, a privilege of which
all eagerly availed themselves, leaving
Uncle Joe" without an audience.
Gen. James II. Wilson received from the
Gridironers a bouquet, a sash and a pair
OF tights TO wear at the Kings coronation.
Among the literary contributions offered TO
Richard Watson Glider for publication in
the Century Magazine was one entitled
Presidents l Have Met and How They
Have Met Me-" by Lieutenant General
Miles. Mr.. Glider also received a box OF
ginger to enliven his magazine. The pre-
sentation OF a gold brick labaled Panama"
TO Senator Hanna was made by an alleged
Frenchman. who showered the most ex-
travagant praise upon the Ohioan for the
manner in which he had advanced the In
terests OF the Panama route.