The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1902-09-06

southern. and northlfi1 pftts Of the
state have produced. 4: North Platte has
her william r. Cody, known from zone
to zone and pole to pole as Buffalo
Bill" Newman's Grove had her ].
Narver Gortner, the poet OF nine VOL
umes, author Of the immortal lines:
1--WE had turkey for dinner today.
The finest the state could produce.
A Faa IS S Sstt tae t9'' thaashf. than
goose" ~ -,
Beatrice has her Walt Mason. of
whom James Whitcomb Riley said:
HE might have been the best known
humorist in the West, but he lost his
grip" Omaha has her George Francis
Train. prince of all cranks and emperor
of all freaks. Bellevue has her Pat
Grove, the most famous kdnaper the
world has ever known.
And now from Washington county
and the town of Blaire comes the latest
aspirant for notice and the most recent
candidate for the title genius"
Will A. Campbell, printer, editor. hu-
man being and genius, saw the light OF
day first in some obscure little Nebras-
ka town. He grew up like other chill
dren of Nebraska towns, obtained some
schooling, and began to scramble for a
living when he was yet at a tender
age.
There was always something the
matter with him. He knew it, and
others knew it, but he never knew
what it was. until he started a little
magazine called The Knocker, and
then it developed that he was a genius,
In the initial number of"his literary
venture the young scribe relieved him.
self of twenty-six articles of faith,
which have been eagerly perused by a
large number of readers. Some Of
these articles follow:
II knock ON the self-righteous. They
are usually people who by worldly
success have crowded into view. The
best we can do is to be virtuous as
possible.
II knock on the social rule that per-
mits a woman to cover social indis-
cretions of other days with a sealskin
cloak. A woman has a right to 'live 1t
down." but a rich woman should have
no shorter probation than poor one.
II knock on the man who tells chill"
dren that there is no Santa Claus. The
tragedy Of life begins when faith de-
parts. and the man who will hasten the
departure is related to the devil.
II knock ON the knocker who knocks
on his wife. A man who respects not
the mother of his own children re-
spects not himself. His plant that she
has not kept up with him fools nobody.
He has his eye on another woman. IN
the Greek, for better or for worse
means take your medicine
II knock ON the social pest. whose
social rating is a hat full OF prunes'
and who passes by old friends: He IS
snob. Trace him back to his father
and you'll find a rabbit.
knock on the woman who nags her
husband. More men have gone to hell
by this route and picked up correspond
ents along the way than by any other'
I knock on the American girl. The
Rtrl who has been raised in 9 cultured
home: who possesses both talent and
ACCOMPLISHMENTS who has grown into
a. womanly woman and is too worthy
for any young man, but who casts her
life by her own choice with a smooth
guy. whose brains are worth cents a
pound for soap srease-a descendant OF
a long line Of half-wits; q dizzy young
dude too lazy to work and too 7cowardly
to steal too rsvsrl I stinsly 'sfaernery"s 70
raise q respectable crop of,wild oats;
a. young lollipop. ribbon clerk on = per
and a monopoly on the gall Of the
Rlobe-that is the kind. Of Apollos
American girls admire, and It :Wouio
give a buzzard bilious attack:
I knock on the rnother-in-law VINO
goes loaded with ADVICE, She Isl NOT
so many as some make out, but, like
the bad egg in the dozen. 1t 1s tough
on the man who gets her.
knock on the pessirnist. He IS an
Ishmaelite and tells disasreeable
truths. The thing to do is to. Join the
procession and stand for the things
what isl
/ knock hard on the bun1-the legiti-
mate offspring Of hoodlumism, the
curse of modern civilization. He never
pays taxes, but makes g. monthly tour
in search of a soft snap, where wages
are higher. He knows the roads 20
every joint and his example artistlcally
escorts the youth to -damnation. He
SCOTS at the church, defies good citt-
zenship and ruins the community. The
man who will mot work heads the ex-
cursion to hell: May: the Lord have
mercy on his soul.
I knock on. the. man who knocks on
this magazine. He is an intellectual
dwarf, parody on manhood, and is In
for a. roast in the next issue.
knock on the little pothouse poll
tician who poses to run the whole Elec-
toral College and point out wiser men
their duties. He IL a. bore and don't
know q fundamental principle from his
funny bone. = ~ .*as,.r,
1 knock on trying TO- reform fallen
women by turning them over to the
police la Parkhurst. Better put some
lucre into the work instead OF support
ing missionaries to peddle saving grace
in pagan lands who incidentally extend
the market for. tobacco. snide jewelry
and forty-rod bug juice.
knock on the :"philanthropist" who
losses a million or 20 TO some conspicu-
GUS charity and next day corners hui
man necessity: He don't fool God.
I knock on the subjects OF: puppet
kings and dukes who come to this coun-