Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-04-05
J0BS0N IN TRAINING

After they'd been yawning in each others
races for about an hour after dinner one
evening a couple of weeks ago, Mr.. and
MIS-. Jobson began to talk about spring
| fever.
! Ihats what ails us-spring fever" said
Mr.. Jobson. Were Just logey and stupid
| from it. We don't get enough exercise to
fight the thing, and we haven't got enough
| erergy indconsequence to keep out of our
| own way.
But l go to market every day and down
town a couple OF times a week. and you
could get3exercise by walking to and from
your office. you know" said Mrs. Jobson.
That's. not the kind Of exercise we
want" replied Mr.. Jobson. Walking is all
| right, In its way, but 1t isn't sufficient
nat fnll-grown human beings require is
| the sort of exercise that reaches every
| muscle of the body. Walking don't do the
frame any good. and the result is that
| were soft and f1abby and liable to pick up
any old kind of sickness that's in the air.
tell you what Wen do. Wen go into
| training"
.Training?' said Mrs Jobson. with puz-
| Zed expression.
Training" said Mr.. Jobson, with en-
| phasis. we might just as well make
beginning now as at any other time, and
| after we've trained for month or so Wen
| feel like different people, and take Off a
/ whole, lot of superfiuous and cumbersome
flesh besides. could go to gymnasium
| myself and train. but / want you to have
| the benefit of scientific exercise, too, and,
besides. it'll make it more interesting if we
| both go into training together. So III just
rig up the miniature Jobson gymnasium in
| the spare room, that's what III do, and If.
| inside of month, the both of us are not
able to run 100 yards in ten seconds and
| fraction and punch the daylights out OF the
most contrary punching bag that was ever
| SUSPENDED. it'll he caution
| But" interposed Mrs. Jobson. don't
| you think that we're-er-just little along
in life to begin taking violent exercise-to
| begin training as you say?
/ mo, Mrs. Jobson," said MI Jobson, orac-
ularly. Il don't think anything OF the sort.
and 1 wish that you'd get over that habit
| of yours of adverting to your husband as
| superannuated, WORKOUT cuss with one foot
in the grave. If you want to look upon
| yourself as octogenarian, go ahead. but
be kind enough to leave me out Of such cal
| culations"
Mr.. Jobson took couple of hours off the
next morning to make purchases for the
rigging up Of the Jobson gymnasium, and
| the purchases arrived in a large wagon
| during the afternoon, before Mr. JobsOn
| had returned from the Office. The parapher-
| MALTA for the Jobson gymnasium made a
pretty good wagon load, and when all of
| the various exercising contrivances had
been heaped up In the spare room the room
was pretty well filled up.
| There were two exercising machines. one
an affair with weights, another a thing
| composed of pair of strong elastic ropes
and a couple of handles. There were dumb
bells Of all sizes, from the one-pound sort
| up to the twentypound kind that Shadows
I and such knotty-muscled persons juggle.
| There were two pairs of ornate-looking In
dian clubs-a very large, heavy pair for
| Mr.. Jobson and smaller pair for Mrs.
Jobson. There were two pairs Of boxing
gloves at the sight OF which Mrs. Jobson
! shudderingly wondered whether it was her
| husbands intention to train her for the
| prize ring. There was punching bag and
| gear for same. The was a medicine ball
and a wrist machine, together with sundry
| and divers other contraptions used by ath-
| letes, and the spare room reminded Mrs.
Jobson Of pictures she had seen in the
| newspapers of the training quarters Of pu-
/ gilsts.
Mr.. Jobson's eyes danced with pleasure
when he arrived home and saw his gym
nasium purchases spread out. and he bolt
ed his dinner in his eagerness to get to
| work to RIG the gymnasium up. He was
hammering and saving and driving nails
to late hour, which caused the next-door
| neighbor to rap on the walls for silence,
whereupon Mr.. Jobson hammered all the
| louder. When he finally got through ar
| ranging the gymnasium it was too late to
begin exercising. and so Mr.. Jobson an
| they'd start to train in the morning.
| Wen have an hour of it, say. before
| breakfast. followed by a shower bath and
a good. brisk rub-dowh after that said
night just before going to bed. 1 trust
| you'll exhibit enough pluck and grit to
stick to the course. 9 Mrs. Jobson. If you
| do we'll both be able to lick our weight in
| wildcats inside of a few weeks"
! Mrs. Jobson wasn't exactly able to per-
| ceiye why 1t should ever become necessary
for them to thrash their avordupois in
wildcats, but she wisely refrained from ex-
pressing that view.
| Mr.. Jobson set the alarm clock so that
they should be awakened an hour before
their usual rising time the next morning,
and when the alarm went off he hoped
ont of bed. donned a pair of old trousers
and an outing shirt and a pair of canvas
shoes. and rushed into the gymnasium.
| Mrs. Jobson. suitably attired for eXercis-
ing, joined him few moments later. Mr..
Jobson was Juggling away at the weight
| lifting machine, and great drops of per-
| spiration were already believing his brow.
| ITS gorgeous gasped Mr.. Jobson. as
| Mrs. Jobson entered, and then he picked up
his pair Of Indian clubs to show her how
scientifically he could swing them. After
| a couple of minutes one Of his swings went
| crack on the back of the head with one of
| the clubs that came pretty near knocking
him down. He let out roar and danced
around, holding onto his head. and feeling
| OF the rising lump. When he had applied
witch hazel to the lump and the pain had
| died down some he picked up pair Of ten
| to use them. While doing this one Of the
dumb-bells slipped out of his moist hand
and fell on his foot. Mr. Jobson gave vent
| to another below and sat down suddenly to
nurse the injured member with his hands
| He had to remove the canvas shoe and
! apply more witch hazel, and then. with 4
| logged expression that was meant to i'm
| press Mrs. Jobson with his gameness, he
got up and began to pull the elastic exer-
| ciser. He hadn't been doing this more thar
a minute when the hook to which the thing
was attached suddenly gave way, and Mr.
| Jobson received the faulty stretched exer-
ciser right in the small Of the back Mr.
Jobson howled with pain. and while Mrs
Jobson was emptying the witch hazel bot
tie on the welt Mr.. Jobson addressed her
thus:
II want all of this Internal truck carted
| down to an auction room before I get back
from the Office this evening. and the next
| time 1 yield to your faddy notions about
| physical culture and all that sort Of imbecile
| rot want you to let me know of it through
the medium Of a personal in the paper,
| that's ALL"
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