davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
PERVERTED INGENUITY.

We learn from the Scientific Ameri-
can that a certain citizen of this coun-
try, of perverted ingenuity, has been
granted letters patent on what he calls
a "gurgless jug" We object to both
the title and the jug, and we are sure
that Boston will sustain us in the first
objection and Kentucky in the second.
In the first place, a well-ordered jug
does not 'gurg," it "gurgles," for
which almost any dictionary will be
sufficient authority. The jug that does
not give out that self-satisfied and
satisfying note of fullness, either pres
ent with itself or prospective with its
loving friend, is not "gurgless," but
"gurgleless;" and it is a gum-shoe
hypocrite.
The gurgling of the jug is caused
by the inflow of air to compensate
for the outflow of liquid. The Scien-
tifc American prints a picture and
description of the so-called 'gurgless''
jug. There is a hole through the ham
die of the vessel leading to the cham
Der. Through this hole goes a sufti-
cient supply of air, as the liquid is
poured out; thus there is no. back
pressure of air at the mouth of the
jug and consequently no gurgle. A
steady and uninterrupted flow of the
contents of the jug is thus secured,
according to the claims of the in
ventor, who thinks that is a great adj
vantage. And really it might be If
jugs were used only for carrying mo-
lasses and kerosene. But what fisher
man, or what Kentuckian, would give
a rap for a gurgleless jug? AS well
talk of robbing the mint of it's pungent
fragrance and leaving only it's color
as of robbing the fisherman's jug of
it's gurgle. Elevated at the proper an
gle and resting on the left arm, the
jug that gurgles puts Fluctuations into
the pleasure of the patient angler.
Each "glugg" is a marker of quanti-
ty and the inspiration of hope of
bites" to come. The gurgle of the jug
from time immemorial has made music
in the ears of sages and philosophers
and poets, and they have moralized and
sung concerning it. Who could posi-
bly, wish to abolish the gurgle, and for
what purpose? The gurgling jug is
noisy and above-b board. 1t has no Sc
crets. 1t is not afraid or ashamed;
but the "gurgless" jug is silent,
secretive and insinuating. 1t is sug-
gestive of furtive glances from behind
the door, and quick and heavy
draughts when nobody is looking. Is
it especially designed for Maine and
Kansas, and some prohibitionists?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28

A party of men seated in a third
class railway carriage were inventing
stories to pass away the time, says the
Yorkshire Post. They had all had
turn at it except an old sailor, who
had remained silent all the time. until
pressed by the others to spin them a
yarn. He began:
II was once in a dreadful storm. All
the provisions were washed overheard
l was very ill afterward and ate moth
ing for four days; at the end of that
time / began to feel hungry and the
steward gave me beef, chicken, port
wine and eggs"
3 But you said all the provisions were
washed overheard. Where did the beef
come from?"
From the bullocks," (bulwarks) said
the old sailor.
And where did you get the chickens
from?''
From the hatch"
'And the port wine?"
From the port hole"
"And the eggs?"
"Eggs?" said the sailor. 81 didn't say
eggs, did 2"
"Oh, yes, you did" said the others.
1--WE caught you now"
The old sailor thought he was caught
and had to consider. At last he said:
ooh, yes; did have eggs. The cap
tain ordered the ship to lay to, and he
gave me one"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
SECRETARY sHAw's DENIAL.

There doesn't seem to have been any
substantial foundation for the rumor
that differences had arisen between
the President and Secretary Shaw, and
that the Secretary was thinking of re-
signing. Mr.. Shaw is very positive that
he isn't going to resign.
1t may be that some slight difference
between the President and Mr.. Shaw
has cropped out in regard to the tariff
or the manner of collecting customs
duties on personal baggage at the New
York Custom House. One report is
that the President has not been alto
gether pleased with some of the talk
of Mr.. Shaw in regard to assisting the
banks to tide over the stringency in
the money market
AS matter of fact If it were known
that the Treasury Department would
extend no assistance to the banks it
is probable that the stringency would
soon disappear. 1t is all caused by
speculation. There is no lack of mon
ey anywhere except in New York city.
The West and the South are not call
ing for currency. The banks in New
York put up the rate on call money in
order to discourage speculation. If il
were known that no more money would
| be forthcoming brokers would force
their clients to liquidate, thus checking
speculation. If Mr.. Shaw thinks Wal
street is the whole country he is
! greatly mistaken.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
Personal.
appreciate

Prof. George T. Patton q son of
ex-President Patton of Princeton, has
been elected to the new chair of moral
philosophy at Princeton University,
and Prof. Walter A. Wyckoff of the
economic department has been granted
a leave of absence to spend the year
in Colorado where he will study the
social and labor conditions of the peo-
pie of that state.
Gen. Andre, French minister of
war, is quoted as saying to Capt.
Bentley Mott of the embassy of Paris:
The United States army now has the
most serviceable and warlike uniform
I have ever seen. The headdress is
perfect: the color is scientifically COR
rect. To my mind the new American
uniform is the best yet invented. "
Gen. Brugere, COMMUNICATING chief,
and the French officers of the younger
and less traditional school shared Gen.
Andres admiration.
Robert Needham Gust, LII. D., a
barrister at law and Justice of the
peace in the county Of Middlesex, is
one of the few living persons who have
witnessed the coronation of three Brit
ish sovereigns. On Sept. 6, 1881, being
then 10 years old, he saw the browning
of William ~ and Queen Adelaide.
June Is, 1888, he was present when the
crown was placed on the head of Vic
toria. At the coronation of Edward
VII and Alexandra he was given a seat
where he had a fine view of the gor-
geous scene. Mr.. Gust Is now 81 years
of age.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
A PoPULIsT BECKoNs TO BRYAN.

Ex-senator Allen of Nebraska, one of
the leaders of the Populists, stretches
out hand to Mr.. Bryan, and notifies
him that it is time for him to be get
ting his affairs in shape for moving
over into the Populist camp. Mr.. Allen
says that there is no hope that the
Democratic party will win the presi-
Dental election in 1904. for the reason
that it is almost certain that the DEM
ocratic National Convention will re-
fuse to indorse the Kansas City plat
form.
What he means by that is that the
Bryan wing OF the party will not give
the party a hearty support in 1904 I'M
less the Kansas City platform is in
dorsed. II may be that Mr.. Allen is
not qualified 10 speak for that wing of
the Democratic party. lie is a Popu-
list and he sees the political situation
from a populist standpoint
II IL practically certain that the Dem
0cratlc party VIII not reafirm the Kan
sas City platform Ia as next national
convention. bat Il does not follow on
/ tbat account that 81. Bryan and his
friends Niii Dolt the convention. Hr.
Bryan and hls friends had their way
+ lH 1909 ~ b very small majority and
I Democrats fery generally supported
Z bim fof President ghe rlEe ~ bis VOTE
+ shphs fhat Since fhe1 be- han con.
F 4nnnea tHft beupNr.f uHa nii q
I ffana ~ taf pafs an1 iis platform if
1 is ana $685. % b Iot Hkag fhas IA
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
Feminine Eternal.

Cleopatra, in the brilliance of her
beauty, says the Baltimore Herald,
spoke thus to the wizard:
1--WE are but mortal, o Graybeard."
Unto dust after the allotted span, "
quoth the sage, "unless-
II divine thy meaning. 1t is the
custom that the rulers be embalmed,
and thus defy the ravages of time,
as a mummy"
Even SOP
Then the queen spoke commanding
ly and there was strange CLEAN in
her eyes.
Bring forth thy powders, burn thy
herbs, and humble thy spells in haste
ands gaze We into the distant future
to see if any fool scientist will try to
calculate the ages of the mummies
they discover!"
The palace was filled with the ruby
vapor of necromancy.
"Ah!" trembled the wizard, tits
even so. Those prying scientists of the
twentieth century will calculate the
mummy's age down to the half month .
ITO the block with him!" roared
Cleopatra; "just to think that L SHOULD
come so near to having the world know
my age!"
Thus woman's ruling passion has pre-
vented the mummy of the Enchantress
of the Nile from ever being found.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28

The Old story Didn't End So.

A man from the city went to Crook
ed Creek one day to fish, says the Chi
cago Tribune. He had a split bamboo
rod, a S. reel, and the finest silk line,
with an expensive assortment of hooks
and a pail of live minnOws. At the same
time man from a farmhouse not far
away went to fish in the same stream.
He had nothing but a crooked stick for
a fish-pole, a piece of common Irvine
for line, a rusty hook and he used
worms for bait He sat on log. and
let his feet hang down over the water
All day long the two men fished. The
city man with the expensive outfit
caught 16 black bass, a 10-pound cat
fish and a dozen croppies. The man
with the crooked pole, the piece of
Irvine, the rusty hook and the fish
worms didn't get a bite.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
TIE sTATE PENsIoN BURDEN.

During the campaign for the guber-
material nomination the Morning News
called attention frequently TO the
steady increase in the pension charge.
and expressed the opinion that unless
steps were taken to conhne pensions TO
Confederate veterans and widows Of
veterans who were in INDECENT circum-
stances fl would not be long before II
would take 100000 or more year
for pensions. The report soon 20 be
made by the Pension Commissioner
Will show that IN 1901 $50. el5 Was paid
for pensions ana lhat for this year
slZ7 500 more viii b. needed. d viii
b. seen therefore that mis- year o iit-
ue more than s95g9e9 VIZ BE- required
/ for pensions.
Dlg fhe Governor and fhe Controller
General take tiAs Increase in the pen+
f sion cbafee lnto acaouut hheu theg
f2ed fhe taE rate far fba ytarf ~
noL b. "a uot pf9oaDif fbgf fbe feYes
nafF 1858 nof ae sHM snf % met fha
rfpeadtUes faaf $500 bose ~ ~
naaef ahefe "a no pubic proB-
/ afg fan8 ~ oreH gpgp a. fbeff nas
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28

comes as a most blessed promise. This
new discovery restores all men who
suffer with any form of sexual weak
ness, resulting from youthful folly, pre-
mature loss of strength and memory
weak back varicocele or emaciation of
parts. 1t gives the warmth, strength
and development just where it is need
ed and cures at once all Ills and trou-
bles that come of years of misuse of
functions, for it has been an absolute
success in all cases. A simple request
to the State Medical Institute, 1929 FL
ekton Building, Fort Wayne, Ind, will
bring you one of these free trial pack
ages, in a plain wrapper, without any
marks to identify its contents or where
it comes from. The Institute has had
SO many inquiries from men who are
unable to leave home or their business
to be treated, that it has perfected
this splendid home treatment and sends
it in free trial packages to all parts of
the world to show just how easy and
simple it is to be cured at home of any
sexual weakness when this marvellous
new sexual discovery is employed. The
Institute makes no restrictions and any
man who writes will receive by mail a
free trial of this wonderful remedy abb
solutely free. Those who write need
have no fear of any publicity, as the
State Medical Institute is an old estab-
lished Institution, incorporated by the
State for so years.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
THE DISPOSITION OF THE l.. &

1t is stated in Wall street that the
L. & N. railway system is to be merged
with the Atlantic Coast Line. How
will the merger affect Savannah? Will
this port be made the chief seaboard
outlet of the entire Atlantic Coast Line
system? That is question in which
this city is profoundly interested.
For a long time there has been talk
of efforts of the l.. & N. to get an
outlet at the seaboard on the Atlantic
coast. More than once it has been
said that the L. & N. would get a
seaboard outlet here, and then again
Charleston has been mentioned. In
view of the fact, however, that the
Atlantic Coast Line has a long water
front here, and great terminals, it
would not be at all surprising if we
should see within a very few months
all of the vast traffic of the L. & N.
that seeks the seaboard passing
through Savannah
OF course the report that the L. &
! N has been turned over to the At
| lantic Coast Line, or will be turned
| over to that road, has not yet been
confirmed, but it seems to be a very
! reasonable disposition to make of the
| property. If the first plan had been
carried out, namely, the formation of
a Southern Securities Company, some
thing like the Northern Securities Com
pany now in litigation, it is certain
| there would have been a great amount
of trouble with the states through
which the L. & N. passes. Indeed these
states were already preparing to make
a vigorous opposition to a merger of
the l.. & n. with the Southern Rail-
way.
OF course the house of j. P. Morgan
& Co. will now have an interest in
the Atlantic Coast Line-that is, if the
proposed merger is made-and will,
in fact, be the dominating influence
in about all of the railway lines in
the South. The new combination will
work in harmony with the Southern
and there will be no cutting of rates
If rates become burdensome they will
have to be looked after by state COM
missions and the Interstate Commerce
| Commission. Savannah, however, Is
particularly interested in knowing
whether she will be the seaboard out.
let of the entire new system.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
CURRENT COMMENT.

The New York World Dem.) says:
Connecticut Democrats, following the
example of their brethren in Massa-
chusetts and many other states, cut
loose yesterday from the body of
death There is no reference in their
resolutions to the Kansas City plat
form or Bryan. The monopolistic
trusts and the tariff that breeds and
feeds them were recognized as the liv-
ing and leading national issue"
The Springfield (Mass.) Republican
Qnd) says: THE story that j. Pier
pont Morgan has issued an edict that
President Roosevelt must be defeated
for the nomination in 1904 is now being
spread in the Mississippi valley. This
is a good enough Morgan as Thur
low Weed used to say. But what has
the President said that should make
j. p. NJ. uneasy? If he never runs
mp against a more radical President
than Theodore Roosevelt he and his
brood OF trusts will be fortunate.
The Washington Post dnd.) says:
After considering the demands of the
Cuban government concerning the
withdrawal Of our troops. reading the
proceedings Of the various Spanish
American War Veterans associations
and then thinking Of the $4,000. 00i
worth ~ bother we purchased ia th'
Philippines, the average American
taxpayer begins 90 wonder just wher,
our war profits come in"
The Houston (Tex.) Post CDem.
Fays ~ IL hardly possible that th'
American people, who are resolved a
amend the iafin as 10 itF creates
lnl0Hif5es 500 ~ control fhr trusts II
fhflf outrageous fktDriiOns, viii be DE-
teiffH hg Doe eueripus HiCas al irh afi
pgf forth bg ihe President ah0 ~ hil
Own f9nfesfioH Hrku0H lodges that ~
poo nqf fhe fogfsEe ~ fgiiga BE con
fletfaHE
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28

Are the American people becoming
more careless with respect to personal
safety, or do they go in such a rush
that they have not the time to look
out for their lives and limbs? Ac-
cording to the Insurance Press nearly
8 per cent. of all the deaths in the
United States last year were due to
accident. This is twice the percentage
of deaths from old age, and is a great
er percentage than the deaths from any
specific disease with the exception of
consumption, pneumonia and heart
failure
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
After Twenty Years.

Rip Van Wrinkle came down the hill
after his twenty years sleep, says the
New York World.
but my friends and relatives" he
inquired, where are they?"
Dead and buried, replied the stran-
gers, as they led him away weeping.
and the coal strike?" he faltered.
"They are thinking OF arbitration"
Shrieking with joy, he realized that
one link yet bound him to the past,
and his life was later made happier
by knowing that the original coal
strike jokes were still dinned into the
public ear.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
HILLS OPPORTUNITY.

The Democratic convention of New
! York, which meets at Saratoga this
week, will be dominated by Ex-senator
David b. Hill. and it will offer him
the best opportunity he has ever had
to put himself in the forefront as a
candidate for the Democratic nomina-
tion for President. If the ticket and
the platform command the approval of
Democrats of the state generally, and if
the platform pleases the Democrats
outside of New York. Mr.. Hills
chances for the presidential nominal
ton of his party will be greatly i'm
proved, and if the ticket wins MIR. Hill
will be regarded as the coming national
leader of his party.
There is no doubt that he IS study
ing the situation carefully. He has
not stated that he favors the nomina-
ton of Mr.. Coler, or Mr.. Grout or any
other one of the candidates for the
nomination for Governor and it is
probable that he will not state his
preference before the meeting of the
convention. II is admitted that he
will have the naming of the ticket
and the making of the platform. For
the first time in years he is on terms
of friendship with Tammany, and there
is no one who is contesting the leader
ship of his party in the state with him.
He has therefore everything in mis- own
hands. If he makes a mistake he will
have to suffer for it, and if he doesn't
he will be the beneficiary of his own
good management.
1t is known of course that he would
like to have Judge Parker of the Court
of Appeals nominated for Governor,
but 1t is we'll understood that Judge
Parker will not give up his place on
the bench for the nomination. There
are half a dozen other candidates, all
of whom are men of worth, ability and
high character.
1t is pretty we'll known that the plat
form will speak in no uncertain terms
against trusts. No doubt Mr.. Hill
gained a point from his observation of
the Republican state convention last
week Mr. Plat undertook to have
a trust magnate named for the second
place on the ticket, and his lieutenants
revolted. They said to him that such
g concession would be a burden that
might cause the ticket to be defeated.
Mr.. Plat had to yield, but it was evil
dent that he had made a promise to
the trusts. The fact that he was not
able to carry out his programme does
not alter the fact that the trusts have
a grip on the Republican party that 1t
is almost impossible for that party to
shake off.
Mr.. Hill will take care that a trust
sympathizer does not appear on the
Democratic ticket, and that no quarter
is shown trusts in the Democratic plat
form. BY pursuing that policy he may
lose campaign contributions, but he
will gain immensely in the respect of
the people. By taking his stand
against trusts he will gain a foothold
in the confidence and good will of the
people that will help to elect the Dem
ocratic ticket in New York and make
him the nominee of his party for Pres
ident.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28

would do what he has been condemning
other Democrats for doing. # he fails
to have his way in the national con-
vention in 1894 He would hardly dare
to be so inconsistent.
No doubt the Populists would like to
have Mr. Bryan leave the Democratic
party and join them. but they will not
be gratified. If Mr.. Bryan is the DEM
ocrat he pretends to be he will stay
with the Democratic party even If the
party does not reaffirm the Kansas
City platform.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28
WOmem's Loss.

They were good friends, and in their
early days of indifference to feminnity
had signed and sealed a contract which
directed that the first one married was
to pay $25 to the other, says the Mem
phis News.
Cupids in a freakish mood turned
their attention to the same girl and
in the end one of them captured the
prize. The friendship that had stood
the rivalry without a crack did not
break when the announcement of the
wedding came from a near by city.
Nothing daunted, the friend and dis
appointed lover sent the following tele-
gram to his successful rival:
II win and you lose, because you
win and l lose"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-28

INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS


Returns to Practice; Ship Notice, G.
]. Kerton, Master British Steamship
Benedick; Fire and Storm Insurance,
w. T. Hopkins, Agent; Savannah
School of Expression, Miss Lille Selig;
Tomorrow at Joyce's; Special Notice,
Mrs. Susie Footman Arden; Furnaces,
Cornwen & Chapman; Pine Cream,
Jerry George; Ship Notice, ]. F. Minis
& Co., Consignees; Headquarters FOR
School Books, Connor's Book Store;
Dinner Bill of Fare Union Station
Restaurant; Ship Notice, Strachan &
Co, Agents; Call and Consult Prof.
Leo w. Mehrtens.
Business Notices-To Prospective
Buyers Of Wedding Gifts, Theus Bros.
Real Estate for Rent-H. H. Latti-
more.
Talking Machines-Ray Company.
Call for $2.50-On Okarma.
The Mecca Cafe-Corner Congress
and Barnard Streets.
Try-Phosa and Columbia Cream
Delmonico Company.
The New Store-Deimonico Company.
Our Fall Stock Is Arriving Daily
Thos. West & Co.
Sept. 2S.-Get 1t At Rowlinski's.
Bad Luck Attended Our Race at the
Fair Grounds-T. A. Bryson, Column
bia Agent.
Special for One Week Only-Belsinger
& Gross.
q.
Wood Is Still Cheap-Wm. & H. IL.
baltimore.
Try Our So. so Shoes-M. Wilensky.
Autumn Brides-Koch & Sylvan.
Auction Sales-Property on Haber-
sham Street, by Youmans & Demmond.
To-day at the Casino"
The Pierce Motorette-R. V. Con-
nerat.
Cigars-Cortez Cigars.
Railroad Schedule-Central of Geor-
gia Railway.
Clark's Tours-In 1908.
Amusements-'On the Quiet" at
Theater, Tuesday Matinee and Night;
stranger in New York" at Wednes-
day Matinee and Night; Black Patti
Troubadours at Theater Friday Matt
nee and Night.
Amusements-R Music Hall.
The Housekeeper's New Year-The S.
w. Branch Co.
Attractive Goods, Attractive Prices
Gustave Eckstein & Co.
New Dress Goods and Trimmings
Walsh & Meyer.
Best and Newest in Dress Goods
Daniel Hogan.
Lookout for Our opening-Foye &
Eckstein.
The Cheapest Store in the City for
Reliable Merchandise-rhe Bee Hive.
Force" Food.
Races-At Coliseum Tuesday.
Paste--Sterns' Electric Paste.
Shoes. K. Orr Shoe Co.
The Gas Stove-Mutual Gas Light
Company.
New Life to Weak Men-State Medi-
cal Institute. Fort Wayne. Ind.
Special Attractions-At Gutman's.
Laundries-Red Cross Laundry; E
e w. Laundry.
Bring Them to Us-Globe Shoe Com
pany
Hylo Lamps-Electric Supply Com
pany.
Two and Three-Ply Roofng-Edwar,
Lovells Sons.
School Shoes-B. H. Levy & Bro.
Carefully Made Clothing-Leopol
Adler.
Dreams of Loveliness-B. H. Lev
& Bro.
Suits. Skirts. Silks and Dress Goods
At Gutmans.
Direct mporters-Leopold Adler.
School Shoes-At Byck's.
No Grumbling or Kicking-At Co
Iat's.
New Goods and Low Prices-Metzss
& Brunson.
A Glorious Finish Of THE Casino
Great Regular Schedule To-day.
Life Insurance-Mutuai Life Insul
ance Company Of Massachusetts.
champagne-coOks champagne.
Cheap Column Advertisements
Help Wanted; Employment Wantee
For Rent. FOR Sale; Lost; Persona
Miscellaneous.
Ths Weather.
Frra frasauHfrra To- fl.raaa a. A.