Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1902-09-16
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Simons who are expecting to sail
through the canal-or, rather, canal
across the isthmus in year or two
might as well be disillusionized Of that
1t took ten years to dig
the Suez canal, which was only twen-
ty-six miles long, sea level route, in
which nothing but sand was encoun-
tered. Even if we were to begin dig
ging tomorrow it will be twenty years,
in all human probability, before ship
goes through the canal-or, rather, n
canal. l say n canal, for nobody
knows which route will be chosen,
Nicaragua or Panama. Indeed the
signs indicate that third route-the
Darien routes to be surveyed, there
by wasting more time and making COIL
fusion worse COMPOUNDED. True, appa-
ratus for digging and dredging has
been improved, as have all things else,
since the digging of the Suez canal;
but, all things considered, it may be
not unreasonable to conclude that boy
babies now in their swaddling clothes
will be voters before the canal is
opened. There is no sort of question
but that the transcontinental railroads
are all opposed to the building of any
canal whatsoever; hence all the jug
Cling; hence all this superf1uous sur
veying; hence Senator Marcus A. Han
mas thrilling grafton on the subject of
volcanoes; hence the defeat of the Nor
gan Nicaraguan scheme; hence Lemuel
Eli Quigg's doctoring of the Phila-
delphia platform, substituting the
word "isthmian" for the word "Nica-
raguan."
A Great Wool Pulling.
1 was recently over in Illinois on a
lecture tour and took note of political
conditions in Suckerdom. The Repub.
leans are having great wool pulling
and no mistake. Hon. William D.
Mason has his war paint on and is go.
ing hot foot after the Yates-Hopkins
gang. What the Republican factions
of Illinois are saying about each other
could not be printed in any newspaper
in America without subjecting it to the
penalty of being excluded from the
mails by reason of profanity and OBJ
scenity. 1t will be remembered that
the Yates Hopkins combine rolled Bill
lie Mason at the state convention and
incidentally rolled Uncle Shelby NJ
Cullom, whose chief stock in trade Ii
that he possesses physical resem
blance more or less remote to Abraham
Lincoln. They thought that after roll
ing Billie and Uncle Shelby they would
have clear sailing. Not so, however
The rolling process appears to have in
furiated Mason to the point Of mad
ness. He is now out for revenge, ant
he seems to be in fair way of getting
it. And sweet Is revenge. So said Lore
Byron, and he ought to have known
for he was in the habit of lathering vi
his enemies with aqua FORTS. Masol
has sprung thing on his enemie
which is goading them into insanity
Governor Yates machine levied
per cent assessment on all his ap
pointees for political purposes, an,
now Mason has induced many of then
to institute suit to get their none.
back, and the very deuce is to pay. l
looks very much as though Mason
successor in the senate would be
Democrat instead of Hon. A. ]. HoI
kins, Republican.
Bob Williams Just Quarrel.
The best laid plans o. mice and men
Aft gang agley.
So sang Bobbie Burns. His couple
is likely to find a new verification i
| the election of congressman in Illinoi
| this fall The Republican legislator
last winter gerrymandered the state ]
most outrageous fashion. A more vi
fair caper was never cut, but II
fine scheme to disfranchise thousand
of Democrats bids fair to be defeated
For example, the Carmi district, whic
]. II. Williams, popularity known a
Bob Williams, represents with S
much ability, they gerrymandered S
as to give the Republicans about 2,20
majority, according to the returns c
1900, but the Democrats propose I
overthrow their plans and to re-elet
Bob with whoop. He was renom
mated unanimously and with great el
thusiasm, and enthusiasm is more col
tagious than the smallpox, the measle
or the bubonic plague. Consequent
there are great fear and trembling in til
Republican camp, for Bob Williams
one of the best campaigners In tt
land and one Of the ablest men in IL
congress Of the United States. He is
man with the courage of his convi
lions.
Thrice is he armed who hath his QUAR-
just
And Bob Williams quarrel is ju!
both on political and personal ground
He is right politically, and a Repu
lican legislature tried to steal his SCI
in congress by shameful gerryma
der. 1t is believed on all hands tn;
he will win out. If he does, he is pres
Dental timber.
Mysterious.
Hon. Joseph L. Bristow, fourth a
sistant postmaster general of the Uni
ed States, is likely to be known in hi
tory as .the man with the mag
scalp" He is mystery-that is, Il
way he keeps his scalp on is mystel
mot as insoluble and aggravating |
those other great historic mysterie
"Who struck Billy Patterson" III
"Who was the man in the iron mask
but mystery nevertheless. Wht
]. Ralph Burton, the rampantest ia
hawker of them all, was elected to Il
senate, he made hurry trip to Was
ington to snatch that scalp from po
Bristow's head and announced that
had succeeded. That was more than
year ago, and yet Bristow's caput st