The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-07-14
~ Premature
Engagement

open Helu ana CalIed out 10 the COIOnel.
'The Judges have decided that your
regiment has been slaughtered"
Field officers all killed."
"Evervone.'
Good" said the colonel. sheathing
his sword and unclasping his belt.
"Since I'm dead I'll take a snack"
The colonel called for his haversack,
spread his luncheon on napkin, ate
his fill. washed 1t down with a pull at
his flask and lighted cigar. He was
rather young for colonel, only twenty
five, but bloody war had killed off a
lot of men ahead of him. The sun was
hot, and he was very drowsy, SO he left
his men and walked away to a tree,
under whose limbs he stretched his
graceful figure.
He was sleeping soundly when one Of
the contending generals rode by, the
general on whose side the colonel was
arrayed. He was accompanied by his
staff and his daughter, riding a brown
filly and clad in a habit trimmed with
gold lace.
whats the matter with Colonel Lis
ter?" demanded the general.
He's dead" replied the lieutenant
colonel, coming up.
LIE SeHeTdl STTlekeu,
threw up her hands and would have
fallen from her horse had not the chief
of staff caught her. There was a sem
sation among the officers present, but
no one laughed. A sudden thrill, like a
death struggle, passed through the col
onefs body, but beyond this he showed
no signs of consciousness. The general
flashed glance at his daughter as
IL a. ,sx.l.z
knock out her silly brains.
Hes not really dead, Miss Rosa
mond,' whispered the chief of staff.
This is q sham. you know
"Oh!" gasped the lady, turning GRIM
son. No one could tell whether she was
pleased or greved at the information.
Didn't the Tenth carry the works on
Chuckers Hill?' asked the general.
mo, general" replied the lieutenant
colonel; "the judges decided that we
were slaughtered and all the field OFF,
GERS killed."
"Humph!" replied the commander.
"The matter should have been reported
to me at once" And putting spurs to
his hose he rode on, followed by his
daughter, staff and escort.
They were no sooner out Of sight than
TIE COlOHel SAT up.
That's the most ridiculous give
away I ever heard of. That's why we
can't make soldiers of women. No mat
ter how strong a front they present
there's no knowing but that if a mouse
should run through their ranks they
would give way to panic. Here I've
been hanging about her for months,
cringing,, pleading. she throwing me Off,
fooling me all the while, only to let it
out in this silly fashion. Well, she's in
for it now Itll be the talk of every
garrison in the army, and If she re-
fuses me again they'll all say that it
was I who didn't come up to the
scratch"
The soliloquy was interrupted by a
| roar of artillery, volleys of musketry,
huzzas. Then the bugler sounded a re-
call. The battle was over.
This corpse" remarked the colonel,
rising, "goes to quarters. Tonight he
| goes over to receive the surrender"
Taps was sounding when the colonel
rang at General Pertle's quarters. IIe
called for Miss Rosamond, and after
considerable delay the lady came down.
"Rosamond," he said, pardon me for
| coming to you again after having been
SO lately refused for the sixth time
THE siXtieth, you mean." she said,
| tapping ':her silken sandaled foot on
| the rug.
at will be the six hundredth before I
give you up"
Doubtless your boldness this even-
| ing comes from that ridiculous mistake
| which occurred on the field today"
What mistaken"
Don't tell me that you didn't hear"
She hestated.
do the dead hear?"
"They certainly do not snore."
"Well, then, do those who snore
hear?"
You had ceased to snore when l.
when the lieutenant colonel"
"Never mind. Rosamond. what the
lieutenant colonel said. i have come
for the seventh time"
1.-THE sixty-frst. you mean.''
"Well the siXty-first time, to ask the
woman love, the only woman l have
ever loved or ever will"
Cant you change the form of your
proposal? You have used those words
every time"
II will try. 1t is whispered among
the officers wives"
None of their wives was present"
'"rheir husbands told them-that I
had won your heart only TO throw 1t
away, and that you, not Il
cease such gossip l do not wish to
hear it,"
"At the officers mess this evening
saw by their looks that something had
happened, and i overheard remark
coupling my name with yours. 1T Is
false j said. Gentlemen, ! have the
honor to announce my engagement
with Miss Rosamond Pertle.'"
You dared to do such a thing?"
II did. / beg of you, Rosamond,
sweetheart, to confirm what I have
said" He put his arm about her and
drew her toward him. eco at once to
your father and tell him Of our engage
ment."
"There is no need to do that"
"Why not?"
Because" she said, dropping her
head on his breast, II announced 1t to
him as soon as we returned from the
sham battle this afternoon, Buffalo
ENQUIRER.
MO0SIC.
Mrs. Thomas Lewis and daughter, of