The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-12-25


Cincinnati paper OF a late date. If we
carry our guns with us when out on an
advertising tour, it is merely to protect
ourselves IN case the argument should
run into politics orsreligion.
The charge made against us in an
Omaha paper that we encouraged dog
/ tights on Sunday has not q. grain OF
truth in it As a matter of fact, we
lead the church choir on Sunday fore
noon and assist in the Sunday school
afterward. and we have no time to be
pad even If we wanted to.
1t is remarked In St. Louis paper
that the game of poker would never
have been known in this town but for
our efforts We reply that it was here
and in full swing when we arrived, and
| the only part we have played in the
matter has been a losing one. We have
never had an ace full that some one
else hadn't fours to beat us.
The statement of a Cleveland paper
that we have shot down three different
1 horse editors connected with the Kicker
would be malicious if not so absurd
Each one of the trio received his death
miles away from the Office and by the
hands of others, and in each case we
paid the funeral expenses and expressed
our grief TO surviving relatives.
According to an item published in
| St Paul journal, we as postmaster have
/ driven inquirers for mail out of the Of
| nee at the muzzle of a pistol Accord
ing to the truth, we even get up a mid
night to sell a two cent stamp or hand
| out letters, and the only persons ever
driven out were those who had fired at
US through the general delivery window.
1t is stated in a Buffalo paper that
we have made four different attemots
| to assassinate the editor of the other
weekly paper published in this town.
I low To- Ill l.
that our esteemed has pegged away at
us about three times a week for the
| last five years. but u2 to date has not
even cut a button from our coat.
A newspaper in Columbus, O., grave
| ly announces that we are personally to
blame for at least twenty lynchings that
! have taken place here within the last
year and that nothing seems to assuage
our thirst for blood. There have been
only three lynchings here in five years,
and we happened to be out of town in
every case AS for our thirst for blood,
we never shoot a jack rabbit withou.
feeling conscience stricken over it.
We find in a mountain paper the
statement that we make a practice of
month in the year. Sing Lee has been
with us for the last five years al press
man and is alive and well today, and all
| communications on this subject can be
/ 10 nIIi.
It was reserved for a Detroit newspaper
| to announce that we stood by and laugh
! ed in fiendish gfee while grizzly bear ate
up a companion who hunting with
| u.s. We have never hunted the grizzly
| We have never seen one, dead or alive
| in this territory. In fact. have not
| seen a bear of any species. and, as fol
"fiendish glee,'' we couldn't come within
forty rods of it if We tried ever so hard.
A Baltimore paper gives credence to the
| report that we shoot men dead in theil
tracks for refusing to subscribe to oul
paper. This is an original way of build
ing up circulation, and we call the at
tention of our contemporaries to it.
An Ohio editor has learned from a re-
liable source that We are constantly sur.
rounded by a bodyguard of twelve des
| perate men and but for that fact We
would be lynched within hour. i
that editor saw us strolIing around town
with our hands clasped under our coat
tails. he'd probably invent some othei
canard.
A Kansas weekly stops its press to le
the world know that we shot down il
cold blood Mr.. Stevens. principal of th'
Union school in this Gulch. because
he disputed us on a historical point The
only schoolteacher here is a Miss Green