New-York tribune., 1902-12-27
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

inpOssIbIe
Circumstance" This is the somewhat bold asser-
ton which In the preface of book designed
to teach Frenchmen the pecularities OF idiomatc
English conversation An English paper sug-
gests the listener. at any rate. would sometimes
be embarrassed. For instance bad the English
climate may be. Englishman would stare at
being told that 'it has sneezed Q a neige) the
whole night long" One would feel inclined to reply
out OF the book, Let me doubt at it" You look
bloomy out that there is matter 10 inform
about it., might be appropriate answer TO red
nosed gentleman at a free-and-easy, who says.
81 don't like to be tight In coats but would
certainly puzzle the young lady to whom IL ad
dressed a compliment What dreadful cook
ing sounds like the exclamation OF Christmas
pudding after being several hours the pot. or
would the motto OF an ancient martyr
who boiled IN oil. II just fell from horse
down is excusable as indicating the confusion
that such jolting would naturally produce But
when Frenckman had through little more
OF this "unembarrassed' conversation he would
be glad to cry out. us nobody here who can speach
French
One of Senator Lodges stories relates to a mem
mrc OF with fhe dsy Of his posio
One night his wife woke him and whispered: John.
mistaken mist my dear" said her husband There may
be a few in the Senate but in the House-oh, no;
the Idea is simply preposterous. ."-tsprngield Re-
publican
Governor Bliss OF Michigan had experience
with bellboy at the Palmer House, in Chicago. re-
Gently. The Chief Executive of the Wolverine State
had tried joke with the boy IN buttons. The lat
ter thought he was in earnest discourteous
tort leaped to the latter's lips but he restrained
himself and turned away
why don't you answer me. young nan?" per-
sisted the Governor still bent having his little
Joke Don't you know that 1t is your duty to pay
attention TO what the guests OF this hotel say TO
you?"
'I don't need to have you tell my duty"
dared the boy Its a ciach anyway. that I'm
30 .oa bara he rae With {rte
rering meddlesone old women like YOU"
The boy turned his back on the Governor and
marched Off. When Mr.. Bliss had recovered his
breath he started after him, and in three long
strides at his side
Shake. young man, shake: you're all right.
said he extending his hand You called the turn
on me better it's been done since the day they
elected me Governor OF my State
Larger ouantihes.-Mss Gabbie-And she
cused me of retailing gossip about the neighbor-
Miss sharps-TThs Ths.it idea! ,rr,t,r ,.nt s,
-(Philadelphia Press.
Perhaps the most remarkable bridges in the
world are the kettle bridges in Russia and Siberia.
OF which Cossack soldiers are expert builders They
are built UP of the soldiers lances and cooking
kettles. Seven eight lances are placed under the
handles of number of kettles and fastened by
means of ropes to form raft sufficient number
OF these RATS. each OF which Will bear the weight
of half a ton. fastened together. and in the
space of half an hour a bridge Is formed on which
an army may cross in confidence and safety.
Harold and His Papa;-"say. pa, can hang up
my stocking this year?
May Nnd osnt saS have sS% aaci christmas tree2
we saPpaSe yo1 gias WHAT'S the matter par
Christmas : doesn't seem to make you as happy as
No, my son. am somewhat older. and. besides
1 have lived in the city longer time"
Doesn't living in city make you like Christ
t.Uei hardly'
That's funny. should think you would know
You do. Harold. That's the trouble You know
SO many people and they all give you presents"
But don't you like TO get presents?"
But why not?"
well. how about Santa Claus-doesn't he do
;iYes. my boy He does pretty much everybody.
He does those who give as well as those who re-
:But pa. If YOU don't like the presents why do
You keep them? Why dor don't you send them back.
And do the people get mad when they come
Not visIbly. Harold. You they not the
''Weil. I don't suppose I am old enough yet to
be as sad as you are Every christmas DIG WIFI
That depends. ny Joy. upon whether you are
Hs-(Lne.
Alexander selkirk. who is supposed to have been
the original Robinson Crusoe. has many living de-
scendants. and OF them, Andrew Alexander
Sekirk who is Man of Kent, writes to the
British papers that his father owns the house In q
niche OF which stands the statue of Crusoe. In it
the hero of Defoe's story and Cowper's poem once
lived.
She sshe-Why do you suppese they have all the tele
He-Oh, that is they keep up the con-
versation I suppose.-(Yonkers Statesman.