The Washington times., 1902-03-30
WESTERN HIGH SCHOOL.

Again the Western has become the seat
OF war. II has begun to look to the pu-
pills as though the discussions and con-
flicts will never cease. This time the
trouble is in the ranks of the ''Phruight
CATERERS" whose power has been sadly
eclipsed by the sudden rise of the "Bi-
zooters" into popular favor. 1t is the
solemn duty of the latter organization to
eXterminate the "phruight Gatherers'
and their descendants "even unto the
third and fourth generations" They re-
Gently raided a meeting of the society
which had been called for the purpose of
adopting some measures to protect it's
members against the fierce onslaughts of
the "Bizooters"
Hayes and Offutt. the generals in chief
of the "PhrrIight Gatherers, were exhort-
ing their comrades to prepare for
mighty conflict and take to the warpath
In the midst of the orations the "Bizoot-
ers" descended in a body, and began an
active campaign to clean out the camp.
They were more numerous in the matter
of warriors than the "Phruight Gather
ers." and it seemed that the bulk of the
slain would be upon the side of that or
ganiZation.
"BizOoters" Put to Flight.
But despite this handicap, Hayes and
offutt succeeded in rousing their COM
fighting trim almost Immediately. They
stood their ground and returned the fear
full onslaught of their opponents with in
terest. Fortunately the encounter took
place in one of the basement rooms of
the school, where there were no desks or
chairs to be demolished.
The 'Phruight GathereTs" struck right
and left, landing terrific 'swats' upon
the olfactory organs of the 'BiZooters.
The fight continued to grow warmer. Some
of the warriors were stretched out upon
the floor the result of i'll usage. So
well did the defensive party join in the
scrap that inside of five minutes the "Bi-
zooters' were utterly routed and put to
flight Still the "Phruight Gatherers"
hammered at them. chasing them away
from the school grounds. But that was
only the beginning of the fun.
The next day the victorious organiza-
ton was so elated that its members sailed
in seventh heaven of delight. Hayes and
Offutt sang their own praises, and each
claimed the credit for the victory on the
ground that he had led the boys Each
the other youth had no hand in the vic
tory. Finally, Messrs. E. Parson Hayes
and Warren DeSappworth Offutt locked
horns, and had wordy combat over the
matter The young men grew enraged
and challenges to a fistic duel were
promptly exchanged. The matter resulted
in them adjourning with a small body
of their particular adherents to Sc
cluded spot out on Lovers Lane. where
the affair d d'honour was to be settled in
lively but painful manner.
Generals Fight for Honor.
The pair began activities by moving in
a circle, each boy watching for the first
opportunity. Finally the spectators grew
tired of this merry o-round business. and
began to urge the combatants on to ag-
gressive action. Thus spurred on, the
boys began to revile each other. Hayes
made verbal calculations as to the length
of time he would require to stretch Offutt
senseless at his feet. The latter replied
with a seris of figures concerning the
number of separate varieties OF stufiing
he could knock out of his opponent. This
was duly responded to by calculations as