The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1902-11-30


to by the forensic stump orator from the
old stand IN the courthouse yard--a poiit-
ical campaign being the widest delight
that zekesbury might ever hope to call
its own.
Through years the fitful happenings OF
the town and its vicinity went on the
same the same! Annually about one
circus ventured in. and vanished. and was
gone, even as a passing trumpet-blast;
the usual rainy-season swelled the
"crick," the driftage choking at the
covered bridge" and backing water till
the old road looked amphibious; and
crowds of curious townsfolk struggled
down to look upon the watery wonder,
and lean awe-struck above it, and spit in
it. and turn mutely home again.
The usual formula of incidents peculiar
to an eventful town and its vicinity: The
countryman from "Jessup's Crossing, .
with the cornstalk coffee-measure, loped
into town, his steaming little gray-and-
red-hecked roadster" gurgitating as 1t
were, with that mysterious utterance
that ever has commanded and ever must
evoke the wonder and bewilderment Of
every DON. Inc SlndAl-POA ihhAoA RtSeNAA~
prevalent betimes. and the subtle aroma
of the assafoetida-bag permeated the
grader schools from turret to founda-
ton stone;" the still recurring expose
of the poor-house management; the farm
hand, with the scytne across his shoulder
struck dead by lightning; the long-drawn
quarrel between the rival editors culmin-
ating in one of them assaulting the other
with "sidesticlS," and the other kicking
-. i Y,6 4har3anxUaFd
libitum; the tramp, suppositiously steal
ing a ride found dead on the railroad
the grand jury returned a sensational
indictment against a bartender non est;
the temperance outbreak; the revival
the church festival; and the free lee
lures on phrenology, and marvels OF mes
merism,' at the town hall. 1t was during
the time of the aforementioned sensation
and directly through this scientific inves-
tigation, that / came upon two of the
towns most remarkable characters. And
however meagre my outline of them may
prove my material for the sketch Is most
accurate in every detail and no deviation
from the cold facts of the case shall in
fiuence any line of my report.
For some years prior to this odd exper-
iene 1 had been connected with daily
Paper at the state capitol; and latterly
prolonged session OF the legislature, where
/ specially reported, having told threat
eningly upon my health I took both the
advantage of a brief vacation, and the in
vitation of a young bachelor senator, to
get out of the city for awhile, and bask
my respiratory organs in the revivifying
rural air of Zekesbury-the home OF my
new friend.
s'It'll nav you to get out here" he said,
cordially, meeting me at the little station,
land I'm glad you've come for you'll hnd
no end of odd characters to amuse you.
And under the very pleasant sponsorship
of my senatorial friend, | was placed at
once on genial terms with half of the cit
liens of the little town-from the shirt
sleeved nabob of the county office to the
drolI wag of the favorite loafing place
the rules and bylaws of which resort, by
the way, being rudely charcoaled on the
wall above the cutters bench. and some-
what artistically eliminating in an orig
inal dialetic legend which ran thus
F'rinstance, now whar some folks gifts
To relyin' on their wits,
Ten to one they git too smart,
And Spite 1t all right at the start!-
Teller wants to jest go slow
And do his thinkin first, you know
Eff can't think up somepin' good,
1 set still and chaw my Good!
And it was at this inviting rendezvous,
two or three evenings following my ar
rival. that the general crowd, acting
upon the rdnuOH pTOpOSltiOH VI ohO VI
the boys, rose as a man and wended It's
hilarious way to the town hall.
"Phrenology' said the little, old, bald
headed lecturer and mesmerist, thumbing
the egg-shaped head Of young man I
remembered to have met that afternoon
in some law office; "phfenology" repeat
ed the professor-''or rather the term
phrenology-is derived from two Greek
words signifying mind and discourse;
nd prah06iad in nhTan0l0RX
proper the science of Intellectual meas
urement. together with the capacity of in
telligent communication of the varying
mental forces and their fexibilties, etc,
etc. The study. then, of phrenology is,
to wholly simplify tits, I say, the gem
eral contemplation of the workings OF
the mind as made manifest through the
certain corresponding depressions and
protuberarces of the human skull, when,
of course. In a healthy state of action
and development, as we here find the
conditions exennplified in the subject be-
fore u.s.
Here the Subject" vaguely smiled
You recognize that mug, don't your"
whispered my friend ITS that corus-
eating young ass. you know, Hedrick-
In Cummings office-trying- to study law
and literature at the same time, and
tamperirg with The Monster that An
nually,' don't you know?-where we
found the two young students scufflng
round the office, and smelling Of pepper
mint I-Hedriek, you know, and Sweeney.
Sweeney. the slim chap, with the pallid
face and frog-eyes. and clammy hands!
You remember I told you there was a
pair of emp Well they're up to some
thing here tonight. Hedrick. there on the
stage in front; and Sweeney-don't you
see?-with the gang on the rear seats
acknowledgement continued the lee
turer. lis we may say, species of men
tai geography, as 1t were; which-by a
study of the skull-leads also to a study
of the brain within, even as geology nat
urally follows the initial contemplation
of the earth's surface. The brain, thur
fur. or intellectual retort, as we may
say. naively eXerts a molding influence
on the skull contour; thurfur is the ex-
pert in chronology most readily enabled
to accurately locate the multitudinous In
tellectual forces, and most exactingly es-
innate, as well, the sequent character of
each subject submitted to his scrutiny
AS, in the example before us-a young
man, doubtless well known in your midst,
though, l may say, an entire stranger to
myself venture to disclose some char
acteristic trends and tendencies. as indi-
Gated by this chronological depression
and DEVELOPMENT of the skull proper, as
later we will show. through the mesmeric
condition, the accuracy of our mental
diagnosis.
Throughout the latter part of this
speech my friend nudged me spasmod-
ivally, whispering something which was
jostled out of intelligent utterance by
some inward spasm or laughter.
I'm this head said the professor.
straddlipg lis malleable fingers across
head we find Ideality large-abnormally
i large in fact. fhurhv indica tfno-taka,,