davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06
HUMOROUS

HUMOROUS.
Willie-My father says he's goln'
to be sent to tho legislature Bobby
Gee! Wots he done?
Hoax-What high collars Dudelelgh
wears. Joax-Yes. he always looks
as though some one had given him a
cuff In the neck.
Silicus-A great many young men
have a false idea of marriage. Cyni-
cus-Yes; some OF them even expect
to have their own way about it.
Il always take my dog with me
when | make a balloon ascension"
said the aeronaut. "a slSyeterrler, |
suppose" remarked the village wit
Ossfed Mani wonder why the Cir
cassian girl married the Human
Snake?" Skeleton-Oh. she said she
wanted a man she could wrap around
her finger.
Blobbs-I hear you lost your suit
Was the judges charge unfavorable?
Slobbs-Oh, I'm not kicking about
that What makes me sore is my law
yer's charge.
Hook-That young married couple
appear to be. two souls with but
single thought. Nye-Yes; he thinks
he's the only thing on earth, and she
agrees with him.
1T must be hard to be working on
literary stuff all the time" remarked
the visitor. NO, rejoined Scribbler
tits easy ITS working off the
stuff that's hard"
THAT woman next door" she said,
''is the newsiest thing. She's forever
standing in her dining room peeping
over into ours" How do you known"
asked her husband.
Cinder Charley-I told dat lady |
was merely tryin' to keep soul an
body together Billy Trucks-What
did she say? Cinder Charley-She
gave me safety pin.
Riches have wings" sagely OBJ
served the Wise Guy. Yes; and it's
a good thing they have" remarked
the Simple Mug. 1T enables some
people to feather their nests"
THE hanging committee is now at
work" explained the artist to his
friend from the west. Great Scott"
gasped Rattlesnake Reuben, are they
goin' ter lynch some O. you fellers."
Before our marriage 1 used to
call her my lily" why so?" Because
she 'toiled not, neither did she spin
And has she changed any?" Slight
~ Now she tolls not, but she spins.
You see, I bought her a bicycle
A bright little girl asked one morn
ing at the breakfast table, Mamma,
is hash animal or vegetable?" Ami
NAL, my dear" replied mamma.
Then" cried the little one, trium-
phantly, holding up a tiny bone,
here's the hash's tooth"
Eyes, num-" chuched the buffoon
tramp, 81 am the funniest man that
ever raped at your back door. am
! just full of monkeyshines." Indeed"
snapped the lean-nosed woman, as
she pointed toward the woodpile;
then suppose you cut up little out
there"
Senior Partner-Yes, when I adver-
tised for a careful boy l dropped a
book so it would be observed by the
long line of applicants. The first boy
picked it up. Junior Partner-And
you engaged MIN? Senior Partner
No; he not only picked the book UP,
but he put it in his pocket.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06
NoTRlM DONE

Winter Is too cold fer work
Froezin weather makes me shirk.
Spring comes on an' finds noe Wishlu
] could end my days a-nshin
Then In summer, when it'e hot,
say work KIN 60 TO pot.
Autumn days, 20 calm and hay,
sorter makes mo kinder lazy.
That's the way the seasons run.
Seems 1 can't git nothin' done
Sam 8. stlnson, In Lippinootts Magazine
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06

There's been bloody murtherl Let me
Quit
I'VE didn't sleep much the rest OF
the night. because Donovan insisted on
relating hair-raising ghost stories.
chaffed him into coming again. We
made ourselves comfortable In the
room with the horse. A game OF eu-
chre passed the time until II o'clock.
and perhaps we took several swlgs Of
Dutch courage. We blew out the light
and lay down / know / felt consider
able suspense reclining there right on
the ghosts stamping ground. and Dom
oyan was breathing heavily.
"The suspense lasted long enough to
make us a little sceptical of our apparl-
ton Donovan turned over with a re-
lieyed grunt, and / relaxed myself for
slumber Suddenly Daisy gave a little
snort and we were wide awake. The
stump, stump, Of the ghosts footsteps
sounded resonantly through the room.
Donovan groaned; I could not restrain
g cold sweat The step seemed at the
very bedside. The moon had gained
the zenith and left the room in shad-
ow. / sat up.
Dye see it?' said Donovan, hoarse-
w.
All / could distinguish was Daisy.
with head turned toward the corner
she had indicated in her alarm the
night before Indeed now that my at
tention was directed the sound did
seem to come from there / threw the
small club had viciously toward that
quarter Something intercepted it's
flight before it reached the wall. and it
clattered to the floor in company with
something else.
81 struck a light and Donovan
jumped up.
BY George!' he said. The ghost
has dropped his walking stickn
He gingerly picked up a light bans
boo pole about nine feet long. Stimuli.
taneously we peered upward; 1 held
the light higher.
'Shure, he dropped his cane going
through that crack, commented Dono-
van, indicating a narrow space between
the boards covering the stairway open
ing.
1--WE cooked our revolvers.
Come down, ye luney spalpeen,
commanded Donovan, as brave as a
lion now, or we fill your foggy carcass
with port-holes!'
"The boards were displaced.
Don't shoot, seniors! l descend
myself and a good looking Portuguese
dropped through and stood bowling be-
fore us.
He smiled engagingly, and gave an
expressive side glance toward the Ii
quor He responded quickly to my nod.
You see, seniors, our little bonn
bard had not success. l take chance
and fly, and herein hide myself. You
will not betray? No? All! My clum-
sy espiritu alarm you not? Others fed
when l tap so, in two, three days Ha,
ha! and Feliciano, my cousin, the lieu
tenant, bring provisions Tomorrow,
next day, think to escape. Your
health, senhors!'
And the third night he was gone.
"The deuce!" complained Gammons.
1--WE had a better seance than that
myself. Waverley Magazine.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06

The new ten-centime perforated
nickel pieces of the Belgian coinage
have proved a source of embarrass-
ment to the Brussels municipal author
tiles. 1t seems, states the Independ-
ance Beige, that the new coins are lar
ger in diameter and also lighter than
the old 1O-centime pieces. and the re-
suit is that about 300 pennies-in-the-
slot gas meters which were out on hire
are mt ont OF use.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06
selcnistrnst.

"What you Lack" said the person
who reads your character, lis self,
confidence.
81 can't help it, said the young
man. you see, I was for a number
of years employed in the work Of pre-
pairing weather predictions. Wash,
ington Star.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06

The doctors son may FOLLOW in his
fathers footsteps by becoming an un-
d5rtaker.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-06-06
@2 A.lG-
lcHlLDRENS COLUMN
IzucyZllsU s2CyE6S2zJ


The Difference.
When Jessie was little girl,
From six 20 eleven, say,
She used 90 wait impatiently
For every holiday.
Her birthdays, too they came so SLOW
II was SO long between
That when she was but ten. she thought
She might have been sixteen.
But now that she Is thirty odd,
And none has come 20 WOO,
Her birthdays are 30 close, she thinks,
That ono In three might do.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
DAY 1NsTHE.P POLICE COURT
Young White; Woman Discharged to-
Striking a Negro Woman.

Striking a Negro Woman.
Miss Annie Melton was before Justice
Crutchfield in tho Police Court yester-
day OH the charge OF assaulting frances
Hoico,nb, a negro. According to the eyi-
dcnce TIC negro woman had abused and
cursed the mother of the young woman.
ind then tried ITO strike Miss Melton with
d plank. Miss Melton picked up a stick
and brought it down with all her force
across the, head Of the negro. Fhe
mother, whb was abused, IS an invalid.
Justice Crutc!1hcld discharged Miss
Melton.
Leslie Hawkes. was accused o being a
suspicious character. He was accused
of climbing in the second story window
of Charlie Hills home with the inten-
ton of beating8a woman, and then, aban-
coming that idea, to steal a pair of shoes.
This case was continued.
Robert Coleman confessed to slapplng
X ate Coleman. and was fined So Lewis
Shields, swearing, was fined $25C;s George
Sims, carrying a. revolver, $50 and thirty
days; George Hunter. attacking Harry
Rrown with a brick, was sent to the
Hastings Court; James Peasants, SELL
ing furniture on the instalment plan,
four months.
Richard Clay, the seven-year-old high
wayman. was discharged with a warm
ing to his mother.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19

Porter Is a speaker of great power and
unusual Force His theme viii b unique
Bring Ne Up. Samuel. q full OF Interest
ana suggestions to men The Virginia
{;lee cub and Mrs sallie Montgomery
Brown Will sing. M. Porter has not
been in the State long and his like
ness to William Jennings Bryan, the
presidential candidate and orator. has
been q source of common remark. lie has:
a strong personality and Is exceedingly
attractive to men.
"A special meeting for boys will be held
IN the parlor5 att 80 o'clock and the
Bible classes will meet at s. cock.
DR.. Peli viii continue his interesting
talks on the international Srnday-school
lessons this Saturday afternoon 1t 5
O'clock, ii, the z. NJ. G.. A.. Hall.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
EXPRESS AGENTS STRIKE.
Causing Great Deal of inconvenience
to the Public.

|
/ The strike of the express agents at
/ a number Of stations along the line OF
| tbe S,hesapeake, and Ohio Railway mas
/ resulted in the closing of the oInces
/ and consequent inconvenience TO It's pa
| irons. The agents refused to work LOT
| the amount allowed them by the COM
pany. and the company ordered the olnces
| closed, and refuses packages destined Lot
| such points.
these agents are also the telegraph
operators of the Chesapeake and ONO.
/ but there has been trouble between
them and the railway company. Ihey
simply declined to represent the express
| company at the remuneration gwen. Inc
| company claims that it cannot afford 10
pay more. as the business done does NOT
Justify it.
The matter has grown to be a serious
one to Richmond merchants ana the
I Chamber Of Commerce has been request
ed to take it up.
Mr.. w D. HuddIeston. superintendent
| for this division. was out OF the city ahe
there was no one at the express corr
pany's office in this city to give an au.
thoritative statement as TO what ehe
outcome will likely be. The orices are
siu,plv closed and matter for them Is
deciinad There are upwards of thirty
| offices affected. and the strike Is caus.
;ne. q deaf OF Inconvenience to shippers
and consumers, ~,
II could not be definitely learned. out
it is thought that the strike IS anae.
the MANAGEMENT of the Order or f saiiWas
:Teleeraphers as the men VINO nave sons
o,,t arr members of this organization. anc
Of no other Of the kird. so far as Il
/ known.
tone fnr an early settlement of the diff
sferences.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
PARENTS GAVE CONSENT.
MIR. Montgomery and Miss Pond Were
natarn,;ned 10 Marry.

s Nrr Ira G. Montgomery and Miss Matte
/, Pond were married by Row. r. 3,
Peadles. Of Hasker- Memorial Churcn az
6 O'Clock Monday, the It'll neY aW So
preparing to leave Easter Monda5. uas
Mr. montgomery had been visiting Miss
Pond for about two years. She is eish-
teen and he is twenty years OF ase- Iis
10 J. valuable empioye of the Chesapeake
and Ohi- shops. and she is a very beautt-
full girl They were determined to wed.
so their parents acted as arbitrators and
fixed the da tie. hey were married a. the
shride.s residence, No. aStf Street.
The. viii reside with the grooms step
!. father. Captain w. a. O. Cole. North
Twenty third Street
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
MUSTN'T ATTEND ST.JOSEPH'S
Confessions Of White Persons Must

5SOiteSS!OIlS OtiysEssttltS5 = CT SOuS VluSt
Not Be Heard at ST. Joseph's.
Bishop Van de Vyver, of the Diocese of
Virginia, has taken steps to discourage
the attendance upon st. Joseph's Church
by white Catholics of the city. He has
left orders that no confessions are to be
heard at St. Joseph's to white people.
ST. Joseph's Church is a mission for.
the colored people of the city, and is d.
roctly controlled by the Josephite Order,
of which Father Slattery. Of Baltimore,
IS the head. 1t is located on North Third
Street, and is an exceptionally attractive
house of worship. Until very recently it
has been a common thing to see large
number Of white people in the congrega-
lions at the Sunday services and on other
occasions, particularly at confession The
church is conveniently located, and mem
bers of other parishes would frequently
go there, occupying seats apart from the
colored people.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
HOLD-UPS IN HENRICO.
Four. Negroes Dong a Rapid Business
News from the County.

Four Negroes Dong Rapid Business
News from the County.
The officers of Henrico county are max
ing diligent search for four negroes
who are suspected Of completely in three
or four llold-Gps which have occurred
within the past week on Fulton HILL
Thursday ight Mr.. Clarkson, who resides
on Fulton Hill, was held up by four ne
groes at the foot of Fulton Hill at the
intersection of Louisiana Street Mr..
Clarkson was returning home about 1870
O'Clock and when he passed Marshall
Street two negroes masked sprang from
behind fence and thrust two revolvers
in his face, simply saying Hands up!'
AT that moment two others stepped out
and began search of his person. Money
was their object, but fortunately Mr.
Clarkson only possessed eighty cents,
which they promptly relieved him of, also
Iii, pocket knife. He was told then:
Move on, and if you look back there will
be trouble -
Mr.. Clarkson continued his Journey
hcmeward, being satisfied with his luck.
Monday night Willie O'Connor, a young
man, was help up and beaten at the same
place.
Wednesday night a young lady, Miss
Clyde was chased several squares by four
negroes. She sought safety in a residence
nearby.
In the court OF Squire ]. T. Lewis yes
terday morning were several cases Of in
crest. First Of all was Milburn croutch,
white man charged with shooting the
sogs of u. C. Patilla. He was fined S. and
osts. An appeal will be taken. Charles
Marshall (colored) for breaking into a
,ar of the Richmond, Fredericksburg and
Potomac railroad was given thirty days
n Jail. On the charge Of assaulting Ella
T11f,, Now fC 7y1oy SYHTY
William Booker and Ed. Coleman two
negro men, were tried IN the County Court
yesterday and sent to the penitentiary
Cor three years each. They plead guilty
70 the charge of stealing brasses from
he Richmond, Fredericksburg and Poto-
mac road.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
GOODLIoUoRI CHEAP.
United States to Auction 500 Gallons of
Unstamped Goods.

Unstamped GOODS.
81 Five hundred gallons Of corn liquor,
apple brandy and rye whiskey, seized by
The revenue officers within the last year,
will he sold at public auction at tho Gus
tom House about the middle OF May.
This amount Of Illicit goods is rather
d large years accumulation. It is now
stored In the vault beneath Bank Street
An the rear Of the Federal building.
Chief Deput3 Deyer of the internal
revenue Office, has returned from his home
an southampton
g United States Marshal Morgan Treat
Is in washington.
Postmaster knight is receiving daily
congratulations upon his reappointment
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19

SExaminationinY n. M. "A. Night School.
The final examinations in the Evening
College of the Young Mems Christian
Association will begin tonight and will
proceed during the coming week accord
ing to the following schedule:
Senior-Arithmetic. elementary, Nom:
day, April 21st; arithmetic, intermediate.
Tuesday, April ed; English grammar,
Friday, April 18th; bookkeeping. Thurs
day. April elth; electricity. Thursday
April oath: mandolin and guitar. Satur-a
day, April 10th; mechanical drawing,
Tuesday, April ed :: penmanshi and cor
respondence. Friday, April 18th; Steno-.
graphy. Wednesday, April soth; telegra-
ply, Friday, April 225th.
Junior-Arit hnaetic, Monday, Al ril 21st:
business Friday, April 18th; penmanship,
Thursday, April 24th; spelling, Tuesday:
April I'D. stenographS, Friday April
18th
Upon these examinations will be based
the awarding of distinctions and merits
at the comnencemenet, which will be
held about the middle of May. Every
student should AXE them and be in his!
place promptly The schools have had "a
very successful season.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
Or. Witherspoon. Leaves.

Rev. DR.. Jere Withers spoon left yester-.
day for Norfolk and N ewport News.
S. no. morrow he will occupy the pulpit ofi
Rev. 4. e. Wexford. at Newport News
and return home on Monday.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
LADY TAKES LAuyDAN lJM.#

sAJeweler M steriousiY Disapp and.
His Wife Dies.
Especial Dispatc to Tho Times.
5 f:I.lSAIa RETREAT. 70 April - ::
MISS Cora q ones. "a popular young lad 2.
& ot this town, aged + ahou tss .tWenty9tly
Years atternpted to- comm 1T suicide sges-s
fsrdaYz bystaking six OUNCES sofs landa num-
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-19
WOhlAN'S COLLEGE TRUSTEES
important Plans on Foot with Reference
to the Monan's College.

= -
The Board Of Trustees of the W'oman's
College will meet next Thursday to give
further consideration to the question
of moving the institution to another site.
It is reported that important matters
will develop, though just along what
lines cannot be learned.
When seen a day or two ago Dr. James
Nelson, president of the college, admitted
that a big movement is on foot, but
would not go into details. He was will
ling to state however, that the plan is
to spend at least $4,000 on the new col
lege at the outset Further, he said that
before the new school was finally gotten
into shape at least s5o0000 would have
been disposed OF. the building#will he
erected on a large scale and win be
sesigned to accommodate 500 girls. The
site will be found in the West-Erd, proba-f
bly, on the property Of Richmond College
1t is reported that the committee from
the Woman's College has already ap-5
proa ched Richmond College on the mat
ter.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-07-31
He Oidn,t Mem If.

Representative F. H. Gillett Of Mas sachusetts was presiding over the com. mittce of the whole house one day, and the congressman were unusually turbu- lent and unruly. The speakers could not make themselves heard, and Mir Gillett used the gavel until his arm ached. Finally he said, ''The members must sit down in the aisles."
 Immediately the house burst into a roar of laughter. Gr. GiIlett could not understand what had caused the merri- ment and finally called Champ Clark, who happened near the speakers desk, to come up and explain what was the matter.
 Why, you told the members to sit down in the aisles," said Clark ''and you are a near neighbor of Boston. You'll not be able to appear in Massa- ehusetts society for two years at least"
 "Oh, I seew said Mir. Gillett seriously. "What intended to say was that the members in the aisles should take their seats"
Bisbee daily review., 1902-07-31

of any of the manufacturing corpora tions. The value of the products is returned at $340,6l5 ,466. to produce which involved an outlay of sl4.30l.- 644 for salaries of officials, clerks. etc; s2S, S,005, ASA for wages: s1s3, ,099, {. 796 for miscellaneous expenses, inclui- ing rent, taxes, internal revenue. etc, and $7,5I2.42 for materials used, mill supplies, freight and fuel. It is not to be assumed, however, that the differ ence between the aggregate of these sums and the value of the products is in any sense indicative of the profits in the manufacture of the products during the census year. The census schedule takes no cognizance of the cost of selling manufactured articles, or of interest on capital invested, or of the mercantile losses incurred in the business, or of depreciation in plant. The value of the product given is the value as obtained or fixed at the shop or factory.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-07-31
AM ERICA'S
 DRINK. BILL

For the first time the census office
 has made the manufacture of acoholic liquors the subject of special inquiry
 and the forthcoming report. now in the hands of the printer, will contain some interesting facts and statistics concerning the industry never before presented. It embraces wine, malt and spirituous liquors, and finds the total consumption in the United States for 1900. the census year, to have been 1923, ,35S. .094 gallons, or IFS gal Ions per capita of the population. Of this 1,19S,s02, ,104 gallons were malt liquors, 103. 3.ssO.42s distilled liquors and 23,425, ,567 wines. The totals show also 2,38s establishments with an out put of $500 value or more for the year; . capital of $ls7.e74.oS7 employ cd, which represents the value of land, buildinss, machinery. teols and inple' msnts. asd the live cavlta1 ut1lised, bst doss not Include ths capital stock
Bisbee daily review., 1902-07-31
NOTICE OF FORFEITURE.
Bisbee, Cochise County
 Territory of Arizona

Territory of Arizona
 February 10th. 1902
 MT J. " Greene: You are hereby notified that I have expended One Hundred (s1OO00) Dollars in labor and improvements upon each and all of the following mining claims, to- wit: "Ocatea," the June Bird" the Mascot" the St. Patrick claim, Lit tie Mary" the Little Elsie" the Cog nice" the Green Valley" and the Horse Shoe" mining claims all situ- ated in the Warren mining district, Cochise county, Arizona, as will ap- pear by the certificate filed on the 8th day of February, A. D. 1902, in the ofice of the recorder of Cochise coun- ty, at Tombstone, Arizona, in order to hold said claims under the provis- ions of section 2324, Revised Statutes of the United States, being the amount required to hold the same for this year, ending December 31st, 1901.
 And if within 90 days from the ser vice by publication you fail or refuse to contribute your portion of such ex- penditure as co-owners your interest in said mining claims will become the property of the subscriber, under said section 2324
 JAMES REILLY.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-07-31

President Roosevelt is said to be displeased because reports have been published in the newspapers of the country that his fall speech making is for campaign purposes. The Pres ident admits that he is to make some speeches this fall, but claims that his public appearance will be at the in vitation of the people of all political classes. One of the most earnest po- litical speeches made by the President during the present year was on dec oration day, time above all others when there should have been no stir ring of political blood. After this decoration speech the President should not be disappointed if the people and the newspapers as- sume that when he goes to talk he will talk politics and bolster the pol icies of his administration
Bisbee daily review., 1902-07-31

Notwithstanding the popular demand for change in the system of electing United States senators itis very doubt ful whether any change will be made within the life time of the present gen eration. Time after time a proposi- tion to amend the constitution so as to provide for the election of senators by popular vote has been proposed and urged but it is always met with strong opposition in the senate. This opposition cannot be justly charged to mercenary motives. Sena- tor Vest. than whom there never was a senator more popular with his con stituents, and who would have been continued as long as he would stand for election, is one of the strong oppo- nents to any change in the mode of electing senators. What has intensi- fled the demand that the election of senators should be taken away from legislatures is the many disgraces that have grown out of such elections The bOldest bribery has been exposed and men are now in the senate as a result of the influence of their money. While there may be no early change in the mode of electing senators, still the continued agitation of it will no doubt render the boldness of debauch- cry in the present system less fla grant