The age-herald., 1902-05-18

his eldest son. Custis, then at school
 thought of you my dear Custis, on the 18th in the battle and wondered when l the musket balls and grape were whist l ling over my head in a perfect shower where I could put you, if with me, to be safe. I was truly thankful that you
 were at school learning to be good and wise. You have no idea what horrible sight a battle field is."
 Gen. Lee disliked war. His every let ter home breathed the longing to es- cape it's horrors. From the camp in Ja- lapa he wrote to Mrs. Lee: This Is the most beautiful country I have seen in Metlico and will compare with any l have seen elsewhere. l wish it was in the United States and that I was To- cated with you and the children around me- in one of it's bright valleys"
 But the awful struggle of 1S61-5 dawn ed and in those opening days of 1861 Gen. Lee wrote to his sister in Baltimore With all my devotion to the Union and feeling of loyalty to and of duty as an American citizen, I have not been able to make up my mind to raise my hand against my native state, my relatives, my children and my home. I have, therefore, resigned my commission in the army"
 That same day he wrote to his brother Sydney Smith Lee: "The question which | was the subject of my earnest consult tation with you on the 18th has, in my
 mind, been decided. After the most anX- l ious inquiry as to the correct course for me to pursue, concluded to resign, and sent in my resignation this morning. I wished to wait until the ordinance of se- cession had been acted upon by the peo- n in h11t tn commenced, and I am liable any time to be ordered on duty, which 1 could not conscientiously perform. To save me from such a position, and to prevent the necessity of resigning under orders, I had to act at once, and before I could see you again on the subject, as I had wish | ed. I am now private citizen, and have no other ambition than to remain at l home Save in the defense of my native | state, I have no desire ever again to | draw my sword.''
 1 And yet 1t has been stated more than | once. and quite recently that Gen. Lee
 "hesitated' as to the best courst for
 him to pursue. But it was only two days
 afterward that he was called to Rich
 mond and placed in command of the mill | itary forces of Virginia How we'll he 1 defended his native state and the South, | the world knows, but his private cor l respondence with those he loved at this | time shows how earnest, how upright, I were the convictions of Gen. Lee He saw that Virginia was to be the main theatre of the war, and early in May he | wrote to Mrs Lee: "The war may last ten years. Make 1Sur plans for several years of war. Tell Custis (who was then a Lieutenant of Engineers in the United States Army) he must consult his own | judgment reason and conscience as to | the course he may take. I do not wish | him to be guided by my wishes or ex- | ample If I have done wrong let him do better. The present is momentous question, which every man must settle | for himself"
 1 It was a question which Lieutenant l Custis Lee did settle for himself, to the | glory of the South and the honor of his | spotless name.
 After the assumption of the practical | management of the great military forces
 on June 8 by President Davis Gen. Lee wrote to Mrs. Lee, who was then at the
 White House. on Pamunky River:
 You may be aware that the Confed-
 crate Government is established here. Yesterday l turned over to 1t the com
 mand of the military and naval forces
 or the state. l should like to retire to private life, sd that I could be with won
 ana the chlidren' but If I can be of ser | vice to the state or her cause I must
 continue. I grieve. my dear Mary at
 the anxiety that drives you from vour | home. l can appreciate your feelings
 on the occasion, and pray that you may receive comfort and strength in the diff
 faculties which surround you When I | reflect over The calamity pending over
 the country my own sorrows sink into insignificance."