The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1902-01-21
a Discriminating InteIiironce.


Discriminating Intelligence.
surely you are not afraid of the
ark
NO" said the small boy. "but I'm
little scared of the things that might
e in it that can't see. Washing.
on Star.
Quite Common.
Bacon-"Who is that insignificant
)oking little man on the other side
Z the street,
Egbert-"Why. that's one of our
lost prominent citizensw-Yonkers
statesman.
She Admitted.
He-"You will admit that man is the
loSt sensible of all animals?"
She-"I'll admit that he thinks he is.
is for that reason it is so easy
Of woman 10 make fool of him"
Boston Transcript.
Fortunes Favorite.
Mrs. Newlywed-"Yo remember
lob Bigfront, whom l refused last
ear? Well, he's Just struck an oil
ell worth five million dollars"
Mr.. Newlywed-"Gosh! Some men
ave all sorts Of luck"-Puck.
Tho Quarrel.
Mrs. b. obbing)-"When we were
rst married you used to take me on
our knee and tickle me under the
lin."
Mr. B.-"Yes, but. gee whiz! Julia,
Zen you only had one chin Judge.
Silence is Gain.
He-"Darling. my salary has been
lised 5000 n year, but you mustn't 80
our father"
She-"Why not?"
He-"He might get the idea that I
ould support yorktown and Coun-
y.
Narrow Escnpo.
Miss Fisher-"Quite a confidential
nat you were having with Miss
uchler. fear you'll find me dull
Y comparison"
Mr.. Blunt-"Not at all. It's a relief
} talk to n girl who isn't clev-that
-er-not at all! Not at allr'-Phila-
elphia Press.
Only One Theory.
Now look here" said the lawyer.
laking his fist at the witness. II
ant you TO understand that you
mt bamboozle me IN this court sim
y because YOU are a woman"
Why" she asked i'm her sweetest
mes. us your wife present Chi
gO Record Herald.
How Things Usually Come.
do you believe that all things come
him who waits?"
NO." answered the hustler, decisive
Pretty nearly everything that a
an doesn't want comes to him who
ats, but the things worth having
mes to him who gets up and humps
mself."-Chicago Post
An Advantage.
How do you like your new cookf.
Very much, indeed" answered the
'uthful housewife.
81 must say she doesn't look very
rong."
That's why we like her. She can't
) so much damage IL she gets an.
y Washington Star.
The Unknown.
What you don't know would ill a
od many booksw sneered l.
The College Graduate laughed qui.
".
Il intend filing newspapers with itr'
id he; and this. coupled with his
amer. gave me to understand that
purposed being a modern journal
Puck.
& Pleasure Of Memory.
DrolichOn bought a photograph and
sisted upon his mother-m-law hav
e her voice registered by the instru
,nt
As the good woman refused. he
ded, maliciously.
oh, come now. just few words.
IN can't think how much pleasure
viii give me to hear your voice
zen you are gone. lie Fargo
Similar Experience.
Have you ever tried TO write a
yelt' asked the young woman.
Yes. indeed" answered the young
lu, II wrote several"
What were they likc"
They remind me somewhat of
~ of Dickens works"
Which ones?'
Those that weren't appreciated un.
after he was dead. Washington
ar
Fun In the ParIor.
Ndcn you see n young man sitting
a parlor with the ugllest four
'r-old boy that ever frightened him
T iu n mirror clambering over his
ees. Jerking bis necktlo out Of place,
Hing hts shirt front, pulling his
Ir. Kicking his shins, feeling in an
pockets for coppers. while the I'M
listing victim smiles all the time
g. the cover Of a comic paper. you
y safely say that the bowling boy
3 n sister who IS in a room not TWEEN.
feet away. and that the young
n doesn't come thcre just for the
! OF playing with her brother.