River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1902-12-11
Shopping for
His Wife az
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.
T AMEs," said Mrs. Hunt, as her

y
errands in town for me. Ny best
hat is at the milliners to be fur
bished up q little, and your Aunt
Jenkins is liable to come any minute,
and Maggie is scalding over the pick
les, and she'll burn 'em to cinder
if I'm not here to see after her, and
dear little Fido's eyes look as If he
might be coming down with fits, and
my head aches fit to split, and really
/ don't feel as if l could go to town
to-day, and there are some things
must have"
'I've no time to look after lot
of women's gimcracks," said Mr..
Hunt, contemptuously, land L" but
his wife did not allow him to pro-
ceed.
ooh, James, you really must find
the time-unless you feel that your
judgment would not be good in mat
ters Of this kind. ] know that not
one man in 40 knows anything about
shopping, and"
'Humph!" grunted Mr.. Hunt, gulp-
ing down an extra large mouthful of
oatmeal Judgment, indeed! If I
couldn't do better a thousand times
at the shopping business than any
woman, then I'd be everlastingly jig
gered! Yes, I would. 1 could buy
$500 worth of things while you were
getting ten cents worth of handker-
chiefs. Bah! it makes me tired to
hear so much twaddle about men not
knowing how to shop"
"Well, if you really think you
would be able to Judge about these
things I want, James," said Mrs.
Hunt, automatically, for well she
knew that the surest way to induce
him to do thing was to imply that
he was not competent to do it, IF
you really think you know about
them"
"Know? OF course l know. Why
shouldn't ] know? Any fool would
know about 'em. Fire off your list,
and be quick about it, Polly, for
I've got to get move on"
"Let me write a list. I'm afraid
your memory isn't quite SO good as
a woman's, and"
"Fol-de-rol! / can forget more in
six seconds than the average woman
can remember in lifetime" said Mr..
Hunt, as he wriggled into his over
coat and fumbled in the pockets.
"Where in the dickens are my gloves?
Strange that my gloves are never
where put 'em! Whatever have you
done with them gloves, Polly?"
"Here they are, right in your hat,
James, and now listen to what / tell
you, and try and not make any mis-
takes. want five yards of blue
cambric for Rosa's Henrietta dress,
and card of hooks and eyes = De
Long's-humps, you know, and some
black canvas, and two yards of tur-
key red, medium bright, and four
yards of cheese cloth, and paper
of needles-sixes, and some school
shoes for Tommy, 141s, and rubber
heels and no nails in the toes, and
oh, get me a jar of cold cream, and
some celery salt, and some stove
1acliing-Blazerine and"
'There's the carl" shouted Mr..
steps, followed by his wife's persist
emit cry of
Don't forget two pairs of black
stockings, medium weight"
"What a tom-fool mess of stuff
women do have to buy" unused Mr..
Hunt, as he settled himself in the
car, unfolded the morning paper, and
glanced over the column headed eli
nancial."
''Humph! oil stock is going up,
sugar easy, wheat tirmer-confound
it all, what was it Polly wanted?
BIazerine, no, no, there's no such
word as that. 1t must have been
mazarine, and mazarine is-is-ah!
it's blue-Prussian blue for bluing
the clothes, TIL bet cent. And she
said something about salt cellars
hang it all! what can she want of
any more salt cellars? They gave us
7O-odd of 'em when We had our crys-
tai wedding. But then there is never
any accounting for a woman's no
tions-' and at this stage of his cogi-
tations the car stopped at his street,
and in the mad scramble down the
crowded sidewalk to get to his office
on time, Polly and her commissions
were temporarily forgotten.
AS Mr. Hunt issued from his place
of business at might, he began to try
and recall what his wife had told
him. and at the first dry goods store
he came to he rushed in, believing,
as most of his sex do, that a woman
never purchases anything except at
a dry goods store.
He hurried up to the counter near
est the door, and began to reel off
his wants to the lofty-looking young
lady in attendance.
81 want five yards of red Henriet-
ia for blue cambria dress, and some
humpy hooks. long ones, you know,
and two red turkeys, medium smart,
and a cheese in q cloth, and
Sir said the young woman, with
ineffable disdain, this is not meat
market. 1t is Messrs. Pull & Shrink
ems dry goods emporium, and this
is the soap lady's department."
eyes. YES, so 1 believe" said Mr..
Hunt, apologetically, "but I want to
pet five red Henriettas, and pair
Of shoes for a No. 1879 boy, with rub
her heels and no toe nails
.sThe shoe department is on the
second floor, three sections from the
front. third aisle" said the soap lady,
and then she added to her next
neighbor, the patent-medi"ine lady:
s.What fools men are!"
Mr.. Hunt shot away in the direc-