Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1902-12-30
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interesting little talk to them upon .h.
Eshi1aos. In the course of this talk ne
said: go MT
II once had the privilege of attans,,.
an Eskimo court OF law The court yva.
held IN a hut. The Judge sat on a rail-
road stool. The parties to the suit stood
IN line before him. The audience. silan.
ana respectful. leaned against the walls.
Great simplicity and great decoru,u mark
! ed the proceedings
1t seemed that an old Eskimo had loSt
a sealed bag Of sealskin containing TWEEN
ty-two walrus t,lsks He had offered >
reward of six tusks for the bags re-
turn. But when q young Eskimo had
found it and brought it back to him, he
had attempted to dodge the payment OF
the reward by claiming. in direct con-
tradiction to his former claim. that the
bag contained not twenty-five but TWEEN
ty-eight ttsks. and six of them had been
purloined.
The plaintiff IN the suit was the young
Eskimo demanding his reward. It waa
| clear that the old Eskimo was miser
and cheat. Public opinion was alto
gether with the young fellow
The: judge. from his elevated stool,
settled the case finely.
THE bag he said 10 the old man,
Contained twenty-eight tusks??'
:. 1T did
LIT was sealed?
1T was.
And it came back TO you with thu
seal unbroken??.
LIT did,
. nao RI 10
eight trsks. and since this one. which
had not been tempered with. had Only
twenty-five. it is clear that the finder
made a mistake in bringing it to you.
It is clear that this is not your bag at
all. Therefore, take it from you and
give it to him. to hold until such TIM
as the rightfut owner shall appear to
claim it.
Senator Cu1Iom Tells a Story.
Senator culIom, of Illinois, in talking
the other day about the nine amendments
that he wishes to add to the Sherman
antitrust law, repeated for the first time
in Washington the story for which he is
noted at home-the story of the man with
the stingy WIFE
There was man. he said. "and he
had stingy wife, but he himself was
generous and liberal to fault. One day
he liked very much. and SO he bought ten
yards of it and took it home. II had cost
him $50 a yard. but he told his stingy
wife. as he presented it to her for a
dress, that 1t had only cost him S.. for
he knew that otherwise she would return
it.
"The next night. wren he got home.
his wife greeted him with joy in her cold
hard eye.
".I have good news for YOU she said.
Mrs Jones was here to-day. ard showed
her my new dress. She liked 1t extreme
~, and when told her it had only cost
S a yard, she offered me IS for it. and
so sold it to her. See. here is tho
money. A clear gain OF $50.
Herr krupp's Joke on Mustard
Plaster.
The late Herr Krupp. the great gun
maker. had whimsical kind OF hunaor.
The German newspapers have recently
been citing with appreciation joke that
he cracked during an attack of fever last
summer.
His illness had enlaciated him greatly.
and one afternoon his nurse came to him
with tremendous mustard plaster tnas
she had been ordered to put on his PACK
Herr krlpp looked at the plaster. and
smiling. said in his weak voice: Don't
!
tard for very little meat?''
A..yrio1oEist Likes His Pun.
Prof Herman V. Hilprecht, the exca-
vator OF Nippur, lives at the University
OF Pennsylvania, and during his intervals
of rest from the stupendous labor ne Is
now engaged on-the labor OF COMPOSING
a 61-voiume work upon the Baeylonfos
excavations-he walks out into the coun
try with some of the members or tns
university's archaeological department.
On one of these walks the other daa
Prof. Hilprecht pointed out. on tfae Dare
pike, an old taven with the nlisspeilet
sign above the door:
BEAR SOLD HERE
# suppose said Professor Hilprecht.
that the landlord means this liquor Is
his own braiin. !"
Julian RaIph's Fable for Critics.
Julian Ralph. the talented eorrespon-
dent whose serious Illness has been re-
ported, has to his credit the saying OF
number of clever things
He was dining one evening in Chicago
with some western newspaper men.
among them a very young book reviewer.
Books were being discussed and Nj.
Ralph said:
| Have any of you ever read Frank
Norris 'Octopuss
It have read 1t. reviewed 10, saIu
the young critic.
Mr. Ralph gave the youth an amazed
look. WHAT he exclaimed Do you
mean to tell me that you read the books
you reyiew?
Always" said the young man. Don't
you
..Never... answered Mr.. Ralph, at Is
tho wrong thing to do. II creates pre-
tudice.
The Early Bird Ont of Favor.
Prot Adolph Lorenz. the .'bloodless
operator, said during one OF the clinics
that ne held in Chicago that he did not
think IL was wise for children to set up
early in the morning. He said children
should sleep 10 to IL hours, and that 8
o'clock was not ct all too late for their
rising time.
IT got this theory from my father.
Professor Lorenz went on. and re-
member story my father used TO back
the theory up VII /. was 8 story Of q