The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-10-19
A Clever Satire.

Mr. Winsow Warren OF Boston, Mass, has
written a clever satire, entitled, A Report on
Proceedings Of British Committee OF inyesti-
CATION Into the Condition of Affairs IN Ameri-
ca in I782"
II is a partial report Of the proceedings Of
committee OF parliament beaded by Lord North
One member of the committee representing the
minority in parliament, Colonel Barre, wishes
to summon as witnesses some of the Americans
who have been fighting for their liberty in order
10 learn their views of British methods their
aspirations and their capacity for seligovern-
mcnt He would summon such men as George
Washington John Adams aad Benjamin Frank
lin but Lord North objects because they have
been in arms against his malestys government
and refuse TO recognize the sovereignty o. GREAT
Britain.
Colonel Barre--We insist that such men arc
the only ones who know what the people Of
America want--if the men chiefly concerned
are excluded the whole thing is farce
Lord North-No Americans who are preludiced
will be called We desire 90 be fair to the
! Charles Lee, or, perhaps Governor Hutchinson
or Governor Tyon.
| Colonel Conway-Do you propose TO call any
| of the Hessiau commanders or the Indian chiefs
| Lord North--The gentleman knows he is out
Of order. We will proceed with the eSainina-
| ton.
General Gage, Lord Corvallis and other mill
| .arv men are Examined" and Colonel Barre
has great deal Of fun ont of "joshing' them
about how they got over the country before me
! Yankees. They all express the opinion that
| the Americans are unfit for selfgovernment and
that few Of the more intelligent ones really want
| independence The questions and answers are
! adroitly framed by the satirist 60 exhibit the
! English view that the doctrine Of government
being based on the consent of the governed - az
untenable theory which the Americans themselves
will abandon when they get to be world powel
and conquer other peoples.
The committee catches a tarter in Sergean
Culpepper, who does not hesitate 10 testify tina
English soldiers committed outraRes on Amer
can women, and that the troops were ordered y
;. certain of the colonies TO make the country
bowling wilderness and 20 kill all persons owe
10 wears OF age The witness Is quickly excuses
and his testimony rs ordered stricken from tn
records.
This Is from the testimony Of Benedict Arnold
J O.-Do the people generally want independ
ence, that u.s. are they at all united about II
Al do not think they know what the
want--thev never agree among themseiycs--thc
are dominated In the field by one Washingto
and a foreign adventurer named Lafayette, an
Gates and Lee are striving all the time 10 sup
plant them In congress, Pennsylvania ana IN
Southern colonies take no stock m yohl an
sam Adams and Patrick Henry and Franklin
they are all pulling and hauling for their ow
advancement--thats the reason l lett--au u
corruptibe patriot could not stand such doings
O.-Vhat would be the result II the troof
we're withdrawn
A.-Anarchy and ruinthe rebels have airead
oonhscated the property Of loyalists and tarfe
and feathered some--life would be unsafe WEI
they left alone. and they would cut one another
throats
o.-Wouid you think Il wise TO confer upc
them self-governmentf
, Al think after some years Of our beneyole
rule. when they had come TO appreciate tr'
patriotism ana the unseishhness Of our inte
tons and when they had recognized the Writ
y Of the men who had loyalty supported Britt
X rule a degree Of sslf-eovsrnmtnt might
! granted thsIa and . congress might Dc sst
which Va -shOsid santSss "a .fhst va ,aisht ~