The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-06-06
ON THE WRONG TRACK
REBUFFS MET BY MAN WHO WANTED
TO BE AGREEABLE.
Variety of Topics Chosen for Converse
tlon of No Avail--Attempts of New
Yorker to Flatter Kansas Hostess
Meet with Dismal Failure.

ut is not always necessary to throw
bouquets when you are out dining,
said New York travelling man. "When
[ was in a Kansas town not long ago l
was invited to the home of customer
to take dinner A travelling man never
permits himself to misunderstood an
invitation to eat home dinner.
MY customers wife was one OF
those matter-of-fact, common-sense
women to whom a primrose is prim-
rose, whether it grows by the rivers
brim or in the barnyard. Soon after l
was seated at her daintily spread Ia
BILE began fumbling around for some
thing of a gracious brand to launch
which would show my appreciation OF
her hospitality.
81 opened on butter. 1t was worth
travelling miles to taste such butter as
that on her table! l said a few nice
things about New York, of course-we
all do that-but I admitted that there
was no such butter in New York as
found on her table.
"She couldn't understand that, for
the butter | was tasting was from
firkin sent her by express by her aunt
in Herkimer county. Just then hap
pened to think of story and the but
ter incident was relegated.
1--WE had got down to peas and al
lowed that there were no peas like the
homegrown kind. 1t added to the
lusciousness of the pea to watch IL
grow and Gull it from the vine.
"She thought otherwise. Her peas
had been failure ever since the
grasshoppers did her gardening last
year, and George-that was her hus-
bands name-had bought canned peas
ever since l had been throwing tu-
lips at canned peas!
81 think said something about the
weather, just then. That's what
man coughs up when he goes against
| the rocks. You would think after
| throw-down or two such as l have
mentioned that | would have confined
| myself to the monosyllable; and l
| would had not the little woman spoken
of the wild goose she served.
CAT least she said in splendid
way. we can offer you in this some
thing you don't often have in New
| York
| "Of course. Allowing much in New
| York's favor must say that the goose
we get in the metropolis is pretty
tame bird. | admitted this. And then
cut loose on the delicious meat OF
the fowl that honks.
az could conceive of no sport like
that of hunting the wild goose. Then
quoted something from 'Hiawatha'
about the wawa-Longfellow for wild
goose, you know.
81 said her husband must be a
mighty hunter. OF course it is only IN
the great open country that the wawa
can be hunted, / said. Igot a second
round of wawa, and felt quite satisfied
at last that l had hit the right trail.
Then the little woman, looking at me
with her gray eyes, said:
"I think we are indebted to Mr..
Edison or some one of his school for
the dish we are enjoying. Recently,
quite recently, our modest little city
has been lighting the streets with
electricity.
"In the night when the sky is over
cast these lights seem to attract the
great focks of wild geese which pass
this way, and when they get into a
radius of the lamps they become con
fused, and even the boys kill them
with clubs.
"'The wild goose we have this eve
ming is quite modern. 1t was Indirect
ly killed by electric light
"Well, it was time to laugh. There
was nothing else to do. didn't feel like
it. but laughed. And so lifted my
goblet and proposed the health of my
hostess in the pure, sparkling liquid
which only Kansas could produce.
From Blank Springs in the state
of New York said my hostess.
Then l laid down; the time left on
my hands at that house was devoted tc
a discussion of infant baptism. Cuban
reciprocity, the Philippines. the beel
trust and Carrie Nation.