The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-03-23

suited him down to the ground. and he
counted out 80 worth. which he handed
over. l gave him the three lead ones. anu
down they went into his jeans. Dishonest?
oh. | don't know. People ouGhtn't to gam
ble.'-EXchanSe.
4 Great Mans
II suppose you reverence the memory
OF George Washington"
Il fon't know" answered the man who
declines to he impressed. Washington
assertions. that lie never told an untruth
inclines me to suspect that he did not
have a very coed memory."-WaShinston
Star.
The Eesourceful Editors
sanctum. Printer crushing III cNclt'dl,i:
Here's "A go, Johnson. the murdsre-. has
lust been found innocent. anu the Govern
ment has telegraphed a parton' We've GOT
the whole account of the hanging set NJ.
with Illustrations. and the form ia on ,he
press" Editor t~coolly): Don't. get ,T-
cited. man. Put over the account in large
capitals: johnson Pardoned-Full Account;
Of What He Escaped" "-Tit-Bits.
Twas Easier.
so YOU are going to Europe
Il am" answered the young man.
VIII don't you stay here in America.
where there are 80 many opportunities 10
make a ~fortuneg'
We'll. I've concluded that the other side
is easier. OF course. you can make a for
tune. II YOU will stay and work for it. But
people are always more liberal when they
are away from home. / have concluded
that 1t is much easier to go over there ana
let the other Americans bring II 10 me-
Washington Star
La Mont: Science Is trying to prove that
iaziness is a DISEASE La Moyne: 'Grea.
goodness. There are enough incurable DIS
eases already."-Chicago Daily News.
THE cart tipped over and
split forty gallons of milk" "Oh. no: on'y
Twenty He told me forty But he
wasn't allowing for the water. you know
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Nothing to Worry About-Old Gentleman:
My stars, Why are you smoking on that
Eeg?" Quarryman-"Arra. be aisy. This
Amt dynamite. It's nuthin' but powder
New York Weekly.
DiscOuraEing.
Chollie: Il stood on the corner this morn
ing. and of all the hundreds of women that
went by 1 didn't see more than three /
would marry"
Dolly: And 1 suppose the number that
would marry you was "A good deal smaller
still."-Somerville Journal.
Haven't been in Boston lately. have
you?"
Mop"
We've been making some big improve
ments there. That's right. Widened one
of our streets two inches! Yes. ~sir."-C1eve-
land Plain Dealer.
Boston IL pleased because New York
has adopted her barber shop sanitary reg
ulations just as they stand"
only in Boston the rules are printed in
both English and Latin. don't you know"
Eth? They ought to be printed in early
Teutonic."
why so?'
It's more barbarous."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Physically. Not Mentally.
Dick: You were born to be a writer.
Charlie
Charlie blushins): All. you've seen
of the things I've turned of"
Dick: NO; 1 was thinking what a
splendid ear you had for carrying Il PEN
Stray Stories.
A Real Friend-Mi.s Rougenoir: so he
said he didn't like my eyebrows. eh?' Miss
Kraft: Yes. he said they were too dark"
Miss Rougenoir: ""The idea,' Miss Kraft:
Yes. but l told him they weren't as black
as they were painted. Press.
The ce sermons that were lost by a Viz
einia railroad. which settled with the rev.
erend owner for $3.50. have been found. and
glad OF IT" "Why?' Because we'll
know now whether the minister considers
them worth $i2I apiece or not."-Cieveland
Needed No Assstance-A country doctor
was once riding over a wild stretch of down
and asked the lonely shepherd how he man
aged TO get medical assistance for his wife !
In the isolated cottage where they lived.
Well. sir" replied the shepherd, in all
faith. I'VE dwun't ha' no doctor; we
just dies a nat'ral death."-Tit-Bits.
"Ah"" he exclaimed. as they strolled. |
doesn't the full moon look lovely?'
Yes" she said. and / suppose that's |
Why we call the moon She A he looks
lnything but lovely under similar cIrcum- |
'tances."-Philadelphia Press.
What are you going to paint on this /,
White canvas, may I ask" y
That is a finished painting. miss. II IL
TIL Snowstorm.'"
why. 80 IL is! How stupid Of me! Isn't
I beautiful Tribune.