Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1902-10-04

he cracked another finger and con-
tinued:
"'He averages fair to middlin',' says
Cousin Dusenberry's fireman, 'and it
wouldn't sH'prise me none says he,
if he was one O. them bears that
tagged us one. daytime that Boney
Spanklebaum was runnin' this same
injine,' says he.
THE fireman was born either at the
tannery or the sawmil or the oil well,
CoSSIn Dusenberry don't know jest
which. But he was Indigenous to the
sile o. the U. II. and w. and Q. n. coun-
try.
"'We was bowlin' along says the
fireman to Cousin Dusenberry, up
t'other side O. SIashbang Bend, when
see red flag at one side o. the track.
We didn't have much time to get
stopped in says he, but we got
stopped. Some o. the crew stepped off
to see what was the matter, but no.
body turned up to explain the flaggin'
except four slammin' BEARS says he,
and they come out o. the woods, two
o. them nigh the middle O. the train
and two O. them nigh the hind end.
Before we could holler the two
bears at the middle o. the train says
he, had each clumb on to the train
and sot the brakes tighter than jack
screws, so as we couldn't start an
inch. We had carload o. supplies for
the tannery store, and while them two
bears says he, was settin' the brakes
on the train t'other two broke into
the car and rolled out two bar'ls o.
pork and juggled 'em off into the
woods. That red flag was Jack Bunn's
bandanner handkerchief that he had
lost the day afore, and them bears had
jest held us up with it and highway
robbed u.s. says he. But this bear
O. your'n,' says he to Cousin Dusen-
berry, averaged fair to miGdlin'.
- was tore n little with doubt as
to that fireman o. mine, Aunt Sally
says Cousin Dusenberry only yester-
day, in spite o what I had see o. U.
II. and w. and Q. N. bears, but few
days later I knowed that 1 had
wrongcd him. says he.
"They was goin' down the Sap
bucket grade that day, which drops
somethin' like a hundred feet to the
mile, and they was goin' fast Half
way down big bear come prancin'
out o the woods, right in plain sight
of Cousin Dusenberry. The bear
| jumped onto the track and waited for
''em, GRIMM, Aunt Sally says Cousin
Dusenberry, enough to aggravate a
hog butcher says he. Cousin Duscn-
berry turned to his fireman and he
says:
Hold your breath, Bill says he.
I'm goin' to lubricate these rails with
bears grease, at a hundred miles an
hour says he.
Then he pulled his milne VIDE
open, and give her all the head there
was. When they reached that bear
! Cousin Dusenberry couldn't see tie
trees, they were goin' so fast. Then
he hollered for brakes, but before she
had slowed any what should loom up
before Cousin Dusenberry but the
bear, climbin' up from the cowketch-
er and comm straight for the cab
window along the runnin' board.
Cousin Dusenberry didn't wait for
the bear. He made a scramble for
the roof o. the car behind the engine,
and the fireman followed him. The
bear come on, took possession O. the
cab, shut off steam and brought the
train to n stop half a mile further on.
Then he picked up Cousin Dusenber-
rvs dinner bucket and the fireman's,
both loaded to the lid with victuals,
and, with bucket in each paw,
stepped off o the milne and marched
into the woods with 'em.
THAT un,' says the fireman to
Cousin Dusenbcrry, I think is
leetle more than the average o. fair
to m;ddlin'' says he, and they
climbed back into the cab and pulled
ahead.
'But whether it was or not, Cousin
Dusenberry Cronll's mind was made
up. He see at once that railroadin'
on the U. II. and W. and Q. N was
way behind the times, and he put
the matter right to headquarters.
"'Here!' says he to 'em. This road
amt bein' run right says he.
''They wanted to know why it
wasn't.
":Why,' says Cousin Dusenberry,
'runnin' your mines with cow ketch-
ers on to EN- says he, when there
amt COW from one end o. the road
to the ether! Bears interferin' with
traffic at every turn and twist in the
road, and not an milne on the line
with bearketcher on to it, says he.
"And what did they do? They
didn't do nothin' by cats! They Jest
kept right on guardin' themselves
ag'in COWS, when there want a cow
within 20 mile of 'em, while bears run
the road jest as they dod-blame
pleased! So Cousin 'Dusenbcrry quit
'em, and if that road out yonder is up
to the times and amt pig-headed and
bound to keep in a rut, it can hire
Cousin Dusenberry Cronk. but if it
is pig-headed it can't get him.
Badly, the landlord, wanted to
know of Farmer Leonard whether he
could remember another such cold,
wet summer as we had had this year,
and Farmer Leonard said no. he
couldn't. The man from Pochucl1
cracked every finger he had.
"And if the railroad out there is
pigheadeder than anything that was
ever heerd on" said he, rising. lit
won't be half as pig-headed, by catsl
as some folks that is settin' right
| hereio