Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-03-01
- Humorous Items. y

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The Mamma. do society people
ever go to heaven?" The Mamma
They don't have to, Elizabeth, darling;
1t is not expected of them. Town Top
les.
Observation-Disclosures I'D have you
know, sir, that my ancestors were blue
blooded." Diggs-"Too bad; why didn't
they take something for it?'-Ohio State
Journal.
II wonder why they call them blue
LAVISH"
We'll, they were intended to keep peo-
pie from painting the town red. Town
and Country.
Photographer-ANo l want you to
look as if you were not having your pic
ture taken" Customer-"Then you'd
better give me back the deposit | made
in advance. Life.
Not a Real Exchange-'Did you see
those two women exchange looks?'
Yves; but. somehow. that dark one
in red is still the better looking. '-PhiIa-
delphn Evening Bulletin.
For a Rainy Day.-He-T don't see
why a woman shouldn't lay something
by for a rainy day as we'll as q man"
rainy-day skirt. Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Yen say O'Hannagan leaves the Or
phan's Home a large legacy
"Bedad. it's purity large"
"Hew much?'
Twelve children an a goat, begorra."
-Tit-Bits.
Gratitude.-Mrs. Tunner-"Mv dear
professor, l cannot thank you enough for
this absorbing course of lectures. While
hearing You speak, / have actually been
able to entirely forget my sick baby
Brooklyn Life.
Farmer-"So you've had some expert
ence, have youI'
ew Man-''Yes, sir
Farmer-"Well. what side of a cow do
you sit on ter milk?
New han-"The outside"
Struckoyle-"Darn it, Sarah. feel like
q fool in the presence of that new Eng
hsh butler you hired"
Mrs. Struckoyle-"DOn't worry, Hen
~: his face will never show that he
knows how you feel. Life.
True Enough.-Cassidy- ye're
9 drunk" Casey" IT'S a lie we're spak-
in, Cassidy. Ye'd not dare to say thst
to me Nv Oh WIS sober" Caccidy-"iv
ye wuz sober yed how sinse enough to
know ye wuz drunk. '-Philadelphia
Press.
Claribel-'T wonder what that crea-
ture meant Lizzie-"What creature|
Glaribel-"Why, Tentworth, of course.
When / told him everybody said was
improving in my singing, he said he was
delighted to hear it. The idea !'-Boston
Transcript.
Casey-"Phwat did ye stop workin' fur
the butcher fur"
Cassidy-"S hure. an Oh hadn't Old be
frozen stiff this minute. SEE Oh TO him.
There's a good dale Of mate lift over.
Thin says he go you, an lay in some
ice "-Philadelphia Press.
81 think Jack tried to kiss Clara last
night. 1 heard her say, oh, please
kiss her"
But you don't know Jack"
No, but l do know Clara
Poor -Henpeck-"Oh, mercy!
left my evening paper in the car"
Nay Well, that's not much loss"
know, but l paid a cent for it. and
my wife. she'll think / spent the cent
Tor liquor. Philadelphia Press.
sly dear" she said to her invalid hus-
band, you haven't forgotten that seal
s SSH sacque you promised me, have you?"
low can you think Of such things" he
otested- with death so near to meF'
but, my gracious sealskin is quite fash
Bhaole for mourning. "-Philadelphia
Record.
Highblower-"My first daughter mar
ned poet, my second an artist, and nv
thlrd railroad magnate."
blmpleton-"And which couple is the
most fortunate?"
-.Alh the Err- trr-r, 49, - -.