The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-09-28
must lie

must lie
 Forever steeped in seething agonyl If all these quivering arms might wreathe
 and twine,
 And soak him up in one warm clasp of bliss
 One long caress, when babbling wild with words
 My voice were crushed and mangled with his kiss
 My soul would whistle sweeter than the
 birds
 But now, my dry and husky heart in this Pent heat of gasping passion can but hissr'
 Be patientl am hurrying toward the end. l am very lonesome here alone. For three long empty nights have sat thus, with nothing but the raspings of my pen for company. I cannot sleep now; and I wouldn't if I could My head feels as if l had a very heavy hat on, and l put up my hand sometimes to see. My head is feverish. that's all. I have been working too late again. Last night heard Hays come up the steps-my window opens on an alley, but at night the light shows from the street Hays has pe- culiar walk: I'd know 1t if I heard 1t in the grass above my grave. And he came up the stairs last night, and knocked and rattled at the door; but l was very still, and so he went away. Sometimes I think that fellow isn't right exactly in his mind l never knew what silence was before. It will not even whisper to me now. Sometimes l stop and listen, and then 1t holds its breath and listens too-but we never hear a thing The old guitar leans in the cor ner with it's face turned to the wall. l know it's sorry, but it would be such comfort to me if it would only moan or murmur as it used to. l always tune it the first thing when l come in, and lean it back, just as it was when the spider first began to play it; but the spider won't go near it any more. Even the spider has deserted me- and gone away and left me here alone-all alone! One night late. I heard it coming up the stairs; and it knocked and rattled at the door, and I wouldn't let 1t in and so it went away-and do you know that I have often thought that that spider wasn't right-in it's mind. you know? Oh, yes! I have often thought so-often! This hat bothers me, but I'll hurry on-I must hurry on.
 When I came in tonight-no; last night it was-when came to work last night, there was another of those scrawls the spider had left for me, and 1t was writ ten in very trembling hand. The let ters were plotted and slurred together so I could hardly make the word out; put l OlQ make IL out anu IL was oiiiPiJ the one word "Death"-just Death" I didn't like the looks of 1t. and I tried to make it read something else; but it wouldn't. It was Death" And so l laid it gently on the desk and walked about the room very softly for a long time. And the night kept on getting stiller and stiller and stiller, till 1t just stop ped. But that didn't disturb me; was not sleepy. anyhow, and so l sat uown q on m f- ed. I had nothing else to do. and the guitar wouldn't play any more, and l was lonesome; so I sat down at the desk. and took up the pen and waited.
 Sometimes I think it's those spells the spider gives me that make my head feel this way It feels like I had heavy hat on: but I haven't any hat on at all, and if I had I wouldn't have it on here in the room. I can't even sit in the cars with a hat on.
 And so I waited. and waited but it seemed like 1t hadn't got still enough for the spider yet. It was still enough for me; but I got to thinking about why the spider didn't come, and concluded at last that 1t wasn't still enough yet for the spider. So I waited till it got so still could see it; and then the spider came slidding along down through 1t; and when it toched the penholder, and I got a good clear look at 1t, I flashed dead-numb clean to the marrow-It was so pale! Did you ever see spider after it has had long spell of sickness? That's the way this spider looked. l shuddered as it huddled it's trembling legs together and sat down. And then the pen moved off. with that pale, ghastly. haggard in- sect nodding away again as though it still were victor of the field and as, at last. I found courage to peer closer 1 into it's face, l saw that sume accursed smile flung back at inr. All pity ard compassion fled away and I felt my heart snarl rabidly and champ it's bloody jaws with deadly hate. And when the