The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-13
UNCLE MINGO ON INsINCERIry.
He Finds Different Questioners Re-
ceive Different Answers.
By VIM. Taylor Williams.

ANC OAucEenI Answers.
By VIM. Taylor Williams.
Ihe restaurant proprietor was hag-
gllng with despondent looking dar-
Key with wagon load of chickens
to sell.
Chickens was a drug on de mar
ket," they were so plentiful. "dey had
to be mos glib way" Prices were way
down.
Soon after this deal had been COM
pleted another party came in with
an order for several dozen fried chick
ems for a ball.
Glad to git de order, sah," said the
caterer; but Use got to tell YOU dat
chickens is mighty sca'ce, an de price
mas riz. Nebber see chickens so high
sence L been cen de hotel business -
Ihe bargain was made, and the boss
went back to give instructions to the
cook VIZ
Uncle Mingo was waiting for din
ner' apparently engaged with the pa
the waiter.
I tell you, de ole man is sho strictly
blz, remarked that functionary.
Ebolebody is putty much alike"
said Uncle Mingo. "Wen you ak a
teller question he fuss want to know
Wedder you is buyin' or sellin', so he
kin answer you correc'.
ole man Hardscrabble come to
town cen de summer to borrer some
money from Mr.. Effingham. 'How's de
crop" dey ak him. %, fine he say.
you nebber see prettier cotton, it's
sho to go bale to de acre at de very
loves calculation Zen de fall he
come back again. Sorry he say, but
L can't pay but dis little bit l amt
nebber seen no sich po' crop sence mig
gers been free; / amt goin' to git
scacely bale to ebble ten acres"
Yes, my Lord" commented the
waiter; "dats de way for true"
'Sposin," said Uncle Mingo, "you
goes to a shoemaker or a carpenter
or else one O. desc plumber fellers, an
say you got pressin' job witch you
wants done right away, wot do he say?
Wy, he is jis' obercrOwd wild work
He amt hardly got time to eat nor
sleep; mo- on hand dan wot he kin
possible ten to. He'll try, dough, to
let you hab it by day after to-morrer
or maybe mex day, witch is the VERY
bes' he kin do. Well, you amt no mo-
dan turn de corner 'fo' anudder feller
come cen to collec' de rent. Mighty
sorry he say. but he amt nebber had
business so dull sence de panic OBJ
eighty-fo'. Nutten doin' He'll try,
howsomebber, to scrape up a little by
de middle O. mex week, or de week
after.
But I hear tell O. one feller once
who fall by de wayside.
HE had jis open sto', an had it
all stock up wild new goods.
"One mornin' a feller come cen an
he tic M fn ~ coz
wot kim o. stock he was carryin'. Well,
he sto'keeper was spectin' visit like
dat, so he ups an shows de feller
roun' mighty perlite.
Nice stock say de feller; I guess
you mus hab bout twenty-five tousan'
dollars wort
I" Twenty-Five tousan';' say de sto'-
keeper wy, it amt cent less dan
forty tousan'! Look for yourself
Mex day a note come from de May
or's office; it say: Your stock has been
assess for tax at forty tousan' dollars;
please drop up an settle
''Well, sab, he mos had a fit. He
take his hat cen one han an de note
cen de udder, an lickety-skip he light
out for de Mayors office on run.
Look here!' he say, soon as he kin
talk, 'wot do dis meant You has got
me assess at forty tousan' dollar! Wy,
it's a shame! It's disposition! wy,
he say, you couldn't git half dat much
cen de sto'! Dere amt cent mo- dan
fifteen tousan' dollars!'
Very strange say de Mayor,
but our man say he gone to see you
yistidday an you tell him yourself de
stock was wort ebble cent o. forty
tousan' dollars
DE Teller drop down on a bench.
"'Welll' he say, 'blankety- blank
blank de blankety- blank blank luck to
blank an blanknation! l amt nebber
had no Idle dat was de tax man! I
tink dat been de feller from Mr.. Dun
street office, come to see bout de credit
businessn"