Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-22
WHY HE sWoRE OFF

| 1t Is not vet too long after election to tell
| this story of how young Washington bus
| mess man, who In the opinion of his friends
had been seizing too many fimsy pretexts
| to indulge IN celebrations for several previ-
Gus monthss wasrfiimflammed by them into
taking theipledge on the day following the
| balloting.
! The young man went down town from his
| home early on election night to root for the
| democracy.e Things looked pretty good for
| the democracy when the first returns began
| to come in, and 50 the young man with the
celebrating habit had good chance to start
| right In pnrhis exuberant joyousness. How
| ever. IL thirgs had looked bad for the dem
| ocracy. 1t would have been the same way.
| He'd have taken enough to dispel the gloom
| In that case. It became obvious long be-
| fore 10 o'clock at night that the young
mans system was out OF order OF some
falling into pretty poor shape IN Iact'
| when two Of them assisted him into night
| liner and took him to his home he wasn't
| ing In and being exhibited on the bulletin
boards were those OF an election or prize
| fight
''Bily's getting to be an Indian" said his
| friends. in conference, before they broke
| up on election night Lets hurl scare
| into him."
They completed the details before separat-
| ing.
When the young man. looking pretty
| much tucked up and sad. reached the down
town district on his way to his place OF
| business on the morning after election the
| first Of the conspirators he met was one OF
his pals who had helped him home on the
night before. The conspirator gazed
| gloomily and sternly at the young man with
the head, and barely replied to his nod;
incurred the vopng man with the next -morn-
| ing feeling.
| "Oh. you don't remember. hey?' said the
co oo9ass.pirator: "or are you trying TO put II
Remember what, you chump?" inquired
| Billy" looking worried, nevertheless
We'll" said the conspirator. Its pretty
near the time you we're getting mex. ~ 70
| yourself and taking brace when you cant
| remember treating your friends the way
| you did yours last night after you got s1hii-
Gated I wouldn't ha' minded It so mucn,
| twenty-flrst birthday, and I priced IT on
| value
"say. look a-here." put in the young man
with the katzenjammer, stop that 1nIernai
! kidding and come to the point. What
| watch? What are you talking about, any
way, , .,ou,na ;. y, to vol
Billy, to make you feel bad. or ANYTHING
| like that. but some OF the other fellows IL
| tell you about 1t, and so might as well let
you know, first and let you down .S EASY easy,
| last night you deliberately reached over
| and grabbed my highly priced watch out
| of my pocket and broke it off the chain ana ID
threw 1t onto the pavement and proke II all
| to smithereens."
"Billy' looked Mortified and began to
| humble all sorts of apologies, but his
| friend only looked sad about 1t and said
| that 1t was all right. but he hoped Billy
things any v more. BILLY" was protesting
| that he would get his friend another watch,
when the other man who had helped to
| take him home on the previous night walk
| ed up to them. r-.
"Oh, you're out. hey?' rather stiffiy said
| the second conspirator to the young man
| with the head Say, you know don't
want to throw 1t into you too hard-We've
| been chums too long together for anything
like tha6ut you ought oaht TO when you get
| so savage after few drinks tnat you II
deliberately bat inoffensive and aged
man in the face for nothing, ana risnt on
| the public street in the presence or nun
| dreds Of people that know you, at that, It's
| time for you to cut the stuff out and you
| hear me a-talking.
| like big rain drops on "Billys' forehead.
and his hand trembled as he mopped his
| brow and begged conspirator No. to ex-
"Well," said the latter, with a solemn
yisaee st had you by the arm and was
trying to land you UP the avenue, thinking
the air and the walk would do you good
| when an old gentlernan-he was very Old
| accidentally brushed against you The poor
| old chap was really so old that he was I'M
steady on his pins, and that's how he hap
pened to brush into you every so sllghtiy.
| Never was l SO amazed in my life as was
when YOU hauled out and walloped that
poor old gentleman in the face with all
| your might. That's not like you. pal, and l
| hated to see you do it, deed l did. man
aged to square it with the old man, but, at
| that. I had all l could do to hold you off
| of him. You wanted to jump on him and
| beat him to death.
| With a moan of abject misery BILLY"
| too Mortified to listen to the recital Of any
| more of his misdeeds, pursued his way to
his office, tremblingly He was just round
| ing the corner leading to his establishment
| when conspirator No. 8 walked up behind
| him and hailed him In a dismal kind of
| way.
| Hello, BILL" he said. They got you
home at last, did they7 Well, you can
| thank your stars, and that's no lie. Before
| Jim and Ed got hold of you had the job
| Of my life to keep you from getting pinched
| down at the corner of 9th and the avenue"
| The young man with the head almost fell
| down with the shock of the introduction to
| this new recital of his disgraceful deeds Of
the night before. and he could only gasp.
II was trying to get you to take car
| and go home" his friend went on, but
| you wouldn't have 1t that way no way in
| the world, and you shouted, SOS everybody
| that knew you-and / saw lots O. women
| folks passing that knew and recognized you
and you kept shouting, as say. that you
| never intended to go to bed any more as
| long as you lived; that sleeping was fool
| ishness, anyhow, and that nothing but
| NUTS and babies ought to sleep. Then, when
| I was standing there and trying to argue
with you, what the dickens do you do but
| deliberately reach over and snatch a cigar
! out Of dignifed-looking gentleman's
| mouth and throw it on the sidewalk with
! adj sorts of fancy cracks. Well the gentle
| man saw how 1t was with Won and I ex-
| planned the state of things to him, too, but
| the cop on the corner came a-rubbering
| over as l was trying to hold you up, and I
| had all I could do to keep him from going
over to the box and ringing the wagon,
| and"
Me for the water wagon, quickr' gasped
| Billy at this point, and he sprinted for
| the Office of an F street notary public a
| friend Of his. and had 1t solemnly signed,
| sealed. delivered and sworn to that he was
going to be good for the space Of two years
| from date.
|