davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12

laugh for three months. CobbIer.
like your laugh und your smile-ha!
ha! hap
"Ha! ha! har'I says.
"Ha! ha! hal" he roars.
"Do you like some shoes fixed oopw
l says by und by.
Il comes in to get cement patch on
my SHOE" he says, "but you vhas SO
funny dot l hat to laugh hal ha! ha!
BY golly, but dis vhas funny"
81 put on a cement patch for feet
teen cent"
Eyes, | know but how can l get my
shoe off if | vhas ha! ha! ha! all der
time? Cobbler, you vhas mans after
my own heart"
Und he leans him back und laughs
und shouts und shrieks till | vhas
afraid he vhas busted oop. Dot makes
me -solemn und | tells him he had bet
ter go on by dago, but he breaks out
again und yells:
"O-o-o-h. no, no. no! | don't hat so
mooch fun since l vhas born Cobbler,
I Will sit here for two weeks und
laugh You don't know how funny you
vhas. If You go by a dime museum,
you can get $50 a week. Buckle
strap around me While | laugh some
more"
talk to dot mans in English und
Sherman, und | swear at him in Sher-
man und English, und pefore he Will
go out l hat to take him to a saloon
und buy him glass of beer. When ]
goes back to my shop, don't feel like
ha! ha ha. any more. l sits On m:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12

of
Suchet which
stricken island points
death dealing antics of Mont
piabe condition
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
Called If UEyebrOw."

A teacher in one of the colored public
schools in the city wrote the word
"mine'' on the blackboard in her school
room the other day and to test the
keenness Of observation of her pupils
a small hand was being waved fran
tically to attract the teachers atten-
ton. Teacher! Teacher the owner Of
the hand said. you never put an eye
brow on that 81 "-BaItimOre Sun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
Losing Onportunities.

The automobile had broken down
and the chauffeur was busy trying to
discover the trouble. The impatient
owner of the machine at last broke out:
Hurry up, Felix! There are a lot
of people crossing the street that we
are gr'-Yonkers Statesman.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
Lady LObSterM.

Poseidon sings in madcap glee:
bright summer gilds the surging sea,
For now the 1.-the mermaid, apace,
Pops up symphony of grace,
~And spies the girl, as yet Unframed.
They gossip on the silver strand
OF this and that and that and this
Two beauties full of madcap bliss
"Yea, summers here!' Poseidon cries,
''When these two beauties greet my eyes
A land pearl and an ocean pearl
The mermaid and the summer girl.
Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
An Unfortunate Crpsus.

"The very rich have their troubles
too"
"Of course they do I've got multi
millionaire uncle who has writer's
cramp the worst way"
"How did he get 1T?
signing checks" = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
HANS, THE COBBLER.
THE DAiRYMAN PUTS HIM UP TO
NEW DODGE TO DRAW TRADE.

EeIIs Him to Laugh With His Gus
tOmers-Tries the Trick, but His
Visitors Believe He Is MOclxing
Them and Quit In High Dudgeon.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12

Visitors Believe He Is MOcking
Them and Quit In High Dudgeon.
copyright, 1902, by c. B. Lewis.l
20 NE time dot dairymans comes
"a va into my shop und finds no
w. peesness going on, und he sits
down und says:
"Hans, you vhas a good mans, und
Fhas sorry for you. | keep an eye on
you since you yhas here, und can tell
you Why dose dago cobblers beat you
all der time If l go by dago NIT
shoe to be fixed oop, he smiles und
laughs all der time und makes it pleas
ant FOR me. You vhas solemn mans.
Nopody sees you laugh or smile. You
must change about. You must look
gay und happy. If somepody comes in
my place ind says how much yhas
milk a bottle today, l laugh ha! ha!
ha! und tell him s cents. Dot makes
him go ha. ha! ha! und he puts down
his cash und goes AWAY feeling good.
You needn't put oop no sign dot you
vhas der happy cobbler, but shust try
it once"
Well, pellet dot dairymans vhas all
right nit his happiness, und next day
I opens my shop NIT smile on my
face. In ten minutes mans comes in
und says he likes to get lift on his
heel While you wait. | rubs my hands
und goes ha ha ha! und tells him to
sit down, but he scowls at me und
says:
"CObbler, What monkey peesness vhas
dis? Why you ha! ha! ha! at me?"
"To make you feel gcod," says.
"Vhell, I don't like it. All der water
pipes in my house vhas busted dis
morning, der cook vhas on q strike, und
a mans comes around to make me pay
a debt sefen years old. Do you pellet
/ vhas happy? DO you think l can sit
down NIT a grin on my face? | shall
take my custom to somepody who feels
solemn und can sympathize NIT me-"
He goes AWAY nit a bang, und a wo-
mans comes in. She vhas tall und sol
emn, ind she hat two shoes to be mend
ed. l smiles und says ha! ha! ha! but
she don't smile in return. She leans
her elbow on der counter und looks at
me und says:
''Cobble1, do you get drunk so early
in der morning."
''Of course not. I don't eaten hat one
glass of beer dis morning."
''Den your brains vhas left behind
When you got out of bed. | don't like
sooch conduct"
"But l like to make it pleasant for
you," | says.
ooh, you do! Vhell v. me tell you
dot | shust blow oop Ger plumber, jaw
NIT der druggist und begin a lawsuit
NIT der butcher, und | don't vhant no.
pody to ha! ha! ha! at me. come here
because l pellet you vhas a solemn, Sc
rious mans, but ] see I vhas mistook,
und so | go By dagO."
.I Will be solemn" says as she
starts to go out
cit yhas too late, too iatei Maybe dis
vhas some warnings to you not to play
der monkey next time"
I begin to pellet dot dairymans vhas
1nistook, und l like to go oop und see
him. but before l can do so a mans
comes in. l says ha! ha! ha at him,
und he looks at me minute und den
sits down und says:
"Vhell, now, but I vhas glad to hear
somepody laugh like dot. | vhas some
undertakers, und I don't hear nopody
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
The. People Next Door.

Tommy-My, but them folks that's
moved into the next house is swell!
Johnny-How do you know.
Tommy-They've got a clock that
says ping, pong instead of tick, tock.-
Chicago Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
Going to Meet.

AS it is talked nowadays:
She-Are you going to go?
Another She-Yes. Are you going to
come for e?-Indianapolis News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12

know of him I think he would have
been awfully disappointed if she
hadn't" -Chicago Post.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
Preacher Bass in Virginia.

From the West Point (Va.) Plaindealer.
To the Members of Union Baptist
Church:
Dear Brethren:-I have carefully
considered all the surroundings IN my
pastorate here, as well as those in an
other State where have been called
as pastor and after prayerful considera-
ton, believe it to be my duty to resign
the pastorate of your church. notwith-
standing the fact that you have only
recently renewed the call for a second
time.
have devoted the two years of my
life here for what I believed to be for
the best interest of old and young.
am grateful for the devotion that has
been accorded me, and to the hour OF
my death will hold in grateful heart
the memory of that devotion. The
great and principal reason why I resign
the pastorate of your church, is not
financial, but because three OF my chill
dren are now away at school, and I feel
the need of going where their educa-
tional advantages will be better than
they can ever hope to enjoy should
remain with you. Knowing that YOU
will appreciate my desire to do all in
my power for my children, I am sure
YOU will not blame me for taking this
step. beg that you accept my resig
nation.
You have truly been kind and con-
siderate of me, and I pray that heavens
richest blessings may rest upon you all.
Whenever it is convenient for me, l
shall be pleased to mingle with you in
the church as well as in your homes,
which have been always open to me.
Yours truly and fraternally,
L. D. BASS.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
RESOLUTIONS OF COMBINATION OF
DIR. BASS, PASTOR OF UNION BAP-
TIST CHURCH.

TIST CHURCH.
Whereas, Rev. L. D. Bass D. D.,
has of his own accord offered his res
ignation as pastor of our church, and
whereas, he states that he has been
called to another church, where he can
be as useful as with US, therefore,
Resolved, THAT in accepting his
resignation we express our entire con-
fidence in DR.. Bass, as Christian gen.
tleman. full of zeal, loyalty and a cheer
ful Christian spirit.
Resolved, 2-That in the leaving OF
DR.. Bass from our church, and the
community, we have lost preacher OF
scholarly attainments, jealous work
er and one whose educational efforts
with our young people have been sign
ally blessed.
Resolved, 3-That we extend to DR..
Bass and his family our thanks for
their valued influence and work, and
wish for each of them many years OF
usefulness. wherever their lot may be
cast.
Resolved, THAT we commend DR..
Bass to any church who may desire his
services as pastor: and that copy of
these resolutions be given to DR.. Bass
and sent with his church letter to
whatever church he may unite with.
Unanimously adopted by the church
in conference, by rising vote, on
November, 16, 1902.
J. NJ. SHACkELOFRD,
Clerk Pro. Tenn.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26

some one at their own expense
to do the work, and each one OF
them can have copy Of the in
deSes on their private desks.
We disapprove Of re-mdeSing
the records at public expense,
because it is not a necessity.
The jail matter, is one which ap-
peals to humanity, we need a
Jail, this is an absolute necessity,
and we hope that our reprcsen-
tatives, who are now free from
instructions will devise a plan to
build a new jail, without increas-
ing the present levy; it can be
done. and We hope it will be.
Build a decent jail without in
creasing the tax levy, and give
the people good roads and
bridges. and let the index job
for some one alone.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26

The grand jury made a rec
commentator, which We can
not see the necessity for; we
refer to the indexing of the
records. To index the records
properly, will cost several
hundred dollars and so far as
the general public is concerned,
it is no benefit; all the benefit
we can see, it will make it more
convenient for the lawyers to
get at the records, and expedite
their work in searching, but we
doubt exceedingly whether it
will lessen their charges. The
clerk of court is required by law
to index his records, and he does
it, now why the necessity to
have a separate index? Any
man of ordinary intelligence can
now 60 into the clerk Of courts
Office, and from the indexes, he
can find any record in that Office.
If a new index is made, We sup
pose it means to have it so ar
ranged as to make it, not only
alphabetically arranged as it is
now, but lexicographically MAX
ing an additional convenience
a luxury at the cost of the tax
payers, for a few members Of
the bar to enjoy.
We do not wish to appear cap
tious about any matter, but in
our opinion there are greater
needs for the spending of the
peoples taxes. 1t is not abso-
lutely necessary to have the in
dexes arranged lexicographical-
ly, and the clerk must index his
papers alphabetically, we can
get along very nicely with our
present indexes, but if the mem
bers of the bar wish to have
things more conveniently ar
ranged, then let them employ
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
Thanksgiving.

Heavenly Father, Thou art good:
Our hearts are full Of gratitude.
For Thy rich bounty full and free.
Our songs Of praise ascend to The.
Tho Lord Of radiant hosts above,
Still dear to The Thy creatures love.
In bounteous harvests DER our land,
We recognize Thy loving hand.
In every happy human face,
We see Thy overfowing grace.
Thou hast our very need supplied,
And all our craving satisfied.
Beasts OF the field, birds OF the air,
Have all received Thy loving care.
And from the greatest to the least
Are hidden to Thy bounteous feast.
Where these there'sweet thanksgiv
ing raise,
Shall men refuse to give Thee praise
Lord, free our hearts from sordid greed
Help US to see our brothers need.
May we for those less blessed care,
And gladly Thy rich bounty share
Forbid. O Lord, that we should call
Our own what Thou didst send to all.
THOMAS O. CLARK.
Er!ng your Job Work 10 The Times office
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
TEMPERANCE COLUMN.
Conducted by F,axu-iTc ". c. T. L,

National Motto" For Gcd, Home and Ma
tive Land
State Motto" BE Strong and of Good Cour-
age
Our Observation-Disclosures Educate. Organize.
Pledge
God helping nc. I promise not 10 buy,
drink. sell or give
Intoxicating liquors while live:
From bad companions III refrain
And never take Gods name in vain.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
STATE OF oH1o. CITY OF TOLEDO, &C

STATE OF ONO. CITY OF TOLEDO, &C
LUCAS COUNTY.
FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath tina: ne Is the
senior partner of the firm of +. j. CHENEY 4
Co.. doing business in the city OF Toledo. county
and State aforesaid. andthat said firm VIII pay
the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
each and every case of Catarrh that cannot be
cured by the use Of HALL S CATARRH CURE:
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed IN my pres
ence. this 9th day Of December. \. D. 1886.
4. W. GLEASON.
! SEAL, Notary Public.
49,
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces
Of the system. Send for testimonials free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
LEVI BROTHERS

want it distinctly understood that propose sink or
swim with the farmers and the purchase of our winter
stock have bought that competition secondary con-
sderaton We have contracts with mills so that we are en-
abed to pay for cotton than any house in SUMTER and
when the farmers of Clarendon to Sumter it will be
only necessary for them to leave their samples with u.s.
We next to the Court House in the old Jake Solo,
mons building and it is
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
Better Than q Plaster.

a Piece of flannel dampened with
Chamberlain's Pain Balm and bound
on the affected parts, is better than
a plaster for a lame back and fol
pains in the side or chest. Pain
Balm has no superior as a liniment
for the relief of deep seated, muscu'
lar and rheumatic pains. For sale
by The R. B. Loryea Drug Store
Isaac NJ. Loryea Prop.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26

Communications must be accompanied by the
real name and address Of the writer IN order 10
receive attention.
No communication OF I personal character
will be published except aS On ADVERTISEMENT
Entered at the PoStoHlce at Manning as Sec
ond Class matter.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
Luck in Thirteen.

BY sending 13 miles VIM. Spirey oi
Walton Furnace, VT, got box oi
Bucklen's Arnica Salve, that wholly
cured horrible fever sore on his leg.
Nothing else could. Positively cures
bruises, felons, ulcers, eruptions,
boils, burns, corns and piles. Only
25c. Guaranteed by The R. B. Lor'
yea Drug Store.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
"oLD PA IS MOVING.

In a not very distant day we
expect to see a cotton mill Of
250OO spindle capacity in this
county in the Salem section,
near Mr.. J. F. Coles on the Al
derman railroad; that such a
scheme is in contemplation is a
fact, which we have obtained
from Capt. D. W. Alderman, who
as every body knows, has never
found the word "failure" in any
or his undertakings, and when
ever "Old Pa" set his head to do
a thing, it is as good as accom-
plished. Mr.. Alderman was IN
Manning attending court and we
.ad a talk with him about bring
ing his railroad to this place, his
road will run through the finest
tobacco belt in the State and we
are satisfied if he could be in
duced to run in here, this town
will draw whole lot of business
now going to Florence, Tim
monsville and Darlington. Capt.
Alderman ispot averse to the
idea and4grees with US, that the
roaa~Tould make a good feeder
70 this town, and he will keep
the matter in mind. He then
told US of the proposed cotton
mill project, and his reasons for
desiring to locate it out in the
country; when business men are
prospecting for a site where a
large number of laborers are to
be employed, they cannot afford
to do the public spirit act, by
planting their investment, with
out taking into consideration
every detail and in the opinioon
of Captain Alderman, the place
he has in view, puts him where
the kind of labor he wants is
procurable, the location healthy,
and it is away from those attrac-
tons that often is demoralizing
to labor. Then, it is on his line
of railroad, and he can, if he so
desires found a town of his own,
without consulting the whims of
other people. He says the nee
essary capital for the cotton fac
tory is not to hunt, that is now
assured, and in all probability
work will begin on it some time
during next year.
While we would much prefer
to see this factory go up on the
outskirts of Manning, the spot
selected by Captain Alderman is
an ideal one, and has all the at
tributes of a first class cotton
mill location; it is in the center OF
thickly white population,
where wood for fuel is only the
cost of gathering: healthy, and
where labor can be much better
controlled than in a town. We
hope there will be no tagging in
the scheme, and that the Alder
man cotton mill, and the Alder
man railroad to Manning will
soon be realized. The right kind
Of a man is the father of both
schemes, and we feel certain if
our local business men will now
strike while the iron is hot and
offer some inducement, we can
get the Alderman road which
now passes through the tobacco
lands and through this factory
village, to come here, and we
--eaaa also bring Captain Wilson's
road here which passes through
the fnests Of cotton belts.
This matter should be taken
hold of now, the town council,
and our merchants, and in fact
every other business interest
should get together and show by
a practical demonstration that the
people of this town are not like
young birds waiting to be fed
without an effort to get the feed
for themselves.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
THE WHIsKEY JOKE" ON THE BAR
ROOM MIRROR.

During the Pan-American Fair in
Buffalo certain barroom much fire.
quented was managed by man who
considered himself humoriSts. The fol-
lowing sign was exhibited on the mirror
behind the bar:
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
ORGANIZE.
Concentrate Your Means, Resist
Combinations Against You. -.

There is closing eyes to the tendency of the
age capital organized to concentrate it's forces and unless
the farmers organize to resist the hope of the country is
shaken In this agricultural country of the merchant
must be blind indeed who does not that if the farmer
goes down the merchant natural consequence must 90
with him, therefore as business men, we the
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26

| If Whiskey Interferes With Your
Business-Give Up Your Business.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26

cause YOU exchanged all your prospects
for fuddled feeling in the head, an
abnormal quickening of the pulse, some
hours wasted in Dragging, and head
ache well deserved.-The Chicago
American.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
ADVERTISING RATES:

One square. one time. 81: each subsequent IN
sertion, 50 cents. Obituaries and Tributes OF
Respect charged for Us regular advertisements
Liberal contracts made for three, six and twelve
months.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
Headquarters for Farmers.

We carry everything and every department in store
in charge of the very best salesmen whose business it is
to sell goods with eye to induce customers to return
We are headquarters for
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1902-11-26
PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY.

MANNING, S. c., NOV. 26, 1902.
New-York tribune., 1902-03-18
EXAMIN4TION or TOEPEL ENDED.
CUTION ADMITS FAILURE TO
SHOW MOTIVE.

The examination of John Albert Voepel. the
seventeen -year-od boy who is of numbering
his mother. ended yesterday In jefferson
Market Police Court. Magistrate Omsted reserving
his decision. The defence called witness to the
stand, and when Assistant District Attorney Lord
who acted as the prosecuting attorney, announced
that the State rested Mr. Weiss moved that the
complaint against Voepel be dismissed because it
lacked sufficient supporting evidence
Mr.. Lord while he admitted that the prosecution
had failed to show any well defined motive said
that there still sufficient circumstantial evil
dence to warrant holding the boy for the grand
jury.
deliver papers for young Voepel Attilla Fernands,
Of No. Jones-st testified that Voepel said TO him:
If they ask you about the undercothes say you
don't know anything"
Mr.. Lord offered evidence several strips of
cloth which looked like undercIothng fabric and
said to the court:
Il wish to call your honors attention to this