davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

never Will unless somebody takes a
quarter Of an hour to explain it to
him.
No Ruthers.
Judge Theodore F. Kluttz of North
Carolina tells many anecdotes racy of
the soil. Not long since somebody
came over 10 the house and reported
the bitter quarrel between Senator
Pent0se Of Pennsylvania and Senator
Gallinger of New Hampshire Kluttz
said: That reminds ne of old Billy
Miller. When he Nas sick unto death
and tad turned his face to the wall like
old King David, Dr. Anderson came in
and said. .Gncle Billy, did you hear Of
the big fight down town. 2 The old man
looked up and asked, Who fought"
The doctor told him who We're the com
batants. oh, replied Uncle Billy, that
is a fight III Which | have no ruthers.'
Whereupon he turned his face to the
wall and died"
Homely WISDOM.
In discussing the question as to how
senators Of the United States should
be elected, after stating that neither of
the propositions before the house was
precisely what he wanted, Mr. Kluttz
said: 81 am reminded of the homely
wisdom Of young fellow in my dis
trict who, on his first venture at court
ing, was discarded. or, as we say in
North Carolina, was Kicked OF course
he was awfully surprised, for every
young fellow thinks that any girl ought
to be glad to get him and cannot under
stand why he should be rejected. So,
stunned and smarting. he insisted upon
knowing why she would not have him.
Finally she said. Johnny. it's because
l love somebody else better oh. yes.
Sallie,' said he; so do l, but we cant
get them, you know That young man
had very nearly sounded the depths Of
the safer philosophy of life
Everybody Ducked.'
After discussing recent scandals in
the election OF senators of the United
States Nh KuttZ said: "rhere are
many honorable men in the senate,
and therefore | shall make no appli-
cation of the story of the old darky
preacher who. before beginning his
sermon, raised a large rock aloft. With
the startling announcement. Thar is
niSger in this congregation what's
been stealth chickens last night, an I'm
gwine to heavc dis ycrc rock at his
hcadr Whcreupon every male head
before him at once duckrd behind a
bench" Mr.. kluttz did not make the
applications but his auditors did.
Lafe Pence and 2our!<e Cochran.
Judge j. G. Bell Of Colorado told this
story:
lion. Lafe Ponce of Denver ap-
peared AT che beginning OF the Fifty
third congress i'll Il u"gii@ee shirt,
hoyiah saeh suit Of clothes, with hia
bright. voting boxing face eltahly
shaved, and haStcnod 10 present a le'-
ter of Introduction to Hon Bourh2
Coclt"u Of New York. NJ. Cochran
glanced at the letter, ;..ta At NJ.
Pence. ana then said. VS., yes. Tel
Mr. Pence shall be pleased II see him
in a few moments Nr. Pence bluShed
to the roots Of his hair cleared his
throat, and in Il stammer!ug. embaf,
rasecd tone of voice answered, 1 an
Mr.. Pence Mr. Cochran ga2pd at HIM
in astonishmen: ttai&htened up all.
in some confusion said: 1 beg Your
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

The Federation of Woman's clubs
has extended the right of honorary
membership to the men who take
Rocky Mountain Tea. Women's great
est benefactor. Ask your druggist.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

If you believe what you read about
Rocky Mountain Tea, see that you get
the genuine, made only by the Madi
son Medicine Co. 35c no more, no
less. Ask your druggist.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
A Remarkable Prayer.

Mr.. KluttZ also tells this story:
During the Mexican war, a good old
minister in one of the mountain coun-
ties of North Carolina prayed in this
wise: % Lord, we pray thee to bless
all our poor boys what's fightin on for
eign silc this day. Although Burgess
Cater, what lives at Morgantown, says
this is onjest war, O Lord, we wont
stop to argue that question with thee
now. but simply refer thee to the
presidents message and accompanying
Documents
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
ctiei7a.

AOSAi't7 -
ouse
xcessivc pstriotisn7.
Colonel Wiley O. Cox. for years
ditor and proprietor Of the Kansas
Eity Tines, IS a frequent visitor u
be capital and is always welcome t&
he cloakrooM, Who're he is a prime
hyorite. Net long since he was talk
b. about Texas members when he
pll this story about Colonel Narde-
ban Cockrell, who fer two terms rep
esented the Jumbo district of Texas
Is Colonel Cockrcil weighs nearly 900
bounds avoirdupois. he was the ideal
representative for that district. Colonel
ockrell, who is a brother to General
Francis Marion Cockrell, senior and
perpetual senator from Missouri, is not
pny lawyer, but is also Gay"
Methodist preacher He was for
ong time circuit judge. and, as his
uccessor, Colonel Stevens, says: Dur
ng the week he lectured the lawyers
from the woolsack, and on Sunday
from the pulpit lectured the women
IND such men as attended church. He
was an all purpose citizen" Colonel
Cockrell was brave Confederate sol
ler and was the hero of the battle of
Lone Jack, one of those terrible minor
psnts in Missouri which have received
Fltlle attention at the hands of his
korans
when Colonel Cockrcll was running
Fof congress- quoth Colonel Cox. che
was speaking one day in a country
Ehurch. His wife and one of her fe-
PAale friends were sitting side by side.
Eolohel Cockrell discussed the issues
|pelofe the people and then took the
Bafiolic tack, saying: You know, fel-
Eow citizens, that fought in the Con
Eeuefate army for four years. But
Euose evil days, thank God, are past
pp"e'er. We now have one faith. one
l0pe' one country and one flag Here
Ae seized large American banner and
trapped it around his huge body, ex-
.%,illlig This is the flag under whose
ssus ~ spent my happy boyhood's days
q. q Tut magnificent Missouri. 1t is my
aas as now' | love it as intensely as
aa on. "neh | first gaZed with childish
ses ~, upon its beautiful colors.' Just
~, ,a,'e' concluded Colonel Cox, "the old
mas taa VINO sat next to Mrs. Coclrcll
,raaeu WIKI 10 the congressman wife and
t.l Listen to the old, white
haired liar.r"
:" 'ne Retired List.
sas'' soionel Cox then told this tale about
NV oa,of Cae,Tell: Not long ago" said
wa' s,a, somebody was importuning Gen
ra. Cochrell, who is the senatorial
Gonea Auos 9i the treasury. to help put
Hn., '", zoe Wheeler and General Fitz-
,sr :, Ice on the retired list With full
W., ,toe, cockrell, who does not take much
rho ~ Increasing the retired list and
xas A's no sense of humor whatever,
,atioa o.aohasiaefably bored 10y his convcr-
,yn,o;. who was magnifying the
no s,u''s ~, OF his heroes performed dur
aid ,l9 !" spanish war. At last Cockrell
etro, ;. am willing to put them on the
'' LOT their services during the
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
1901. by Champ Clark. |

/ 1T0DvTlght, I3UI, TE Z IaTTI' I'll ~.
| of not any reader Of these stories
mn TO the erroneous conclusion that
spmbprs put i'll most of their time
Iakipc epigrams or spinning yarns
! orp or less humorous in the cloak
boms. Newspapers claim that The
|oncressional Record is the dullest
Indication in Christendom, warranted
put any reader into Il sound sleep
80 minutes ty the town clock. The
loakrooms are the safety valves of tire
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

These are good advertising days.
Fourth Estate.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

, Time lost in mending nets is saved
in catching fish.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
"a ToRy
s'sas.s sss,s the The Kind V! Have Always Bought
signature Of &xHzNzzzw

The nearer the bone the sweeter ths
flesh.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
A Prayer For Speaker Reed.

OF course it is rare that there is any
thing humorous about either a prayer
or its delivery. Once in awhile. how
ever, such a thing happens. Occasion
ally a visiting minister in Washington
is asked by the house chaplain to pray.
The visitor usually prays much longer
than the regular incumbent. one
morning about the beginning of the
Spanish war a young army chaplain
delivered an eloquent and lengthy
prayer, winding up by eXciaiming with
great fervency, And may the speaker
of this house rule according to the VIII
of God" y member standing near me
remarked soto vocc. THAT is the
E5est prepoSterous petition ever pre-
felred at the throne of grace" ! was
no1 IN a place where | could catch the
speakers cas-, of countenance, but
those Who co-ll say thai when the
preacher uttered that portion Of his
prayer Mr. Reed =" .AIzed his other
eye" at Hon. .,9hn l}a.zeil of Ienn&yl
vania, e=et hjs pagtjtta.i, cioajes.
Contrary to titt sse.H't,A ei1Iion, the
hul!se rs "a lyi4u!r c0u. 80 eli lHcn who
possess great .eAticl...v for things
sacred, aAd few preachers have a more
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
'A0id sox.'

'Oid SSX.
General Charles Henry Gro@vcuog
Of 0lio is Hot only one Of the most
preainau ot all congressman, hut he
is also q lawyer =oi' vast experience,
Not tons ziaee lawyers We're iHdu}sHn:;
IN "reminiscences of their professional
life. When Gee @4aaEal eHIiveuod The
seaHee With the l8tloVa5es " hen /
Nas 4Uile q Young man 591 Il BONO
esat. N-eut to iaaiaHa aaA located at
Lafayette t. prac1iee law. One Eiaht
Whfle t&efe NaS aW8EeRed ny great
li%tt streaming in through my window.
| jumped 1R, looked out aa8 found tAat
tie light came from Oldham Roses
large warehouse. which VAS on fire
He was 4 rich bachelor and lived alone
i'll an upstairs room in the warehouse.
which WAS entirely consumed ley the
fire
"N.hile the conlagration was raging
professional gambler. who was
named Stocking, who had bad repu-
taton and who bore the sobriquet of
Old SoN. WAS in the crowd looking
Oh. When the second floor of the fac
tory fell in, old Sox pointed to a
certain dark spot in the flames and
said. That is Old Roses body AS
a matter of fact. Rose was completely
burned up except his false teeth and
some of the larger bones. The strange
thing about this story is that old
SoN' was afterward indicted. tried.
convicted and executed for having mllr-
dered old man Rose for his money and
for having burned the factory to hide
his crime"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

Unless he use Rock Mountain Tea.
Ask your druggist.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21

Let US speak of man as We find him,
And censure only what we can see,
Remembering that no one can be per-
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-01-21
East Florence. Ala, January 6, 1901

address, giving "Fhe Advisory
Chattanooga Medicine Company Chattanooga Tenn.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
Caution I!

This is not a gentle word-but wher
you think how liable you are not to pur-
chase for 75c the only remedy universally
known and a remedy that has had the
largest sale of any medicine In the world
since 1868 for the cure and treatment OF
Consumption and Throat and Lung trou-
bles without losing its great popularity all
these years, you will be thankful we call
ed your attention to Boschee's German
Syrup. There are so many ordinary
cough remedies made by druggists and
others that are cheap and good for light
colds perhaps, but for severe Coughs,
Bronchitis, Croup-and especially for Con-
sumption, where there is difficult expec-
toration and coughing during the nights
and mornings, there is nothing like Ger
man Syrup. Sold by all druggists in the
civilized world.
G. G. Green, Woodbury., N. J.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
Whooplng Cough.

A woman who has had experience with
this diesase, tells how to prevent danger
Gus consequences from 1t. She says: Our
three children tok whooping cough last
summer, our baby boy being only three
months old, and owing to our giving them
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. they lost
none of their plumpness and came out in
much better health than other children
whose parents did not use this remedy.
Our oldest little girl would call Justify for
cough syrup between whoops.-Jessie Pin
key Hall, Springfield, Ala. This remedy
is for sale by Brown Bros.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06

II say these things to you, gentlemen,
because l think 1t is time you knew what
we are doing and are trying to do. 1t has
not been said before. And tonight tell
you frankly that we take no credit to
ourselves. Your own enterprise has fore
ed us to develop. You have grown in ag-
riculture, in mining and in manufactures.
The latter suggestion may sound strange
even to you, but i need only to remind
ship that is a1oat. We started out hand
In hand with you, and IL there is a gap
set a pace and we could not follow"
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
81
NATURE SMILING
While Thousands Suffer.
Paine's Celery
Compound
The Great Spring Health Giver
Makes Sick People Well.
A Prominent Clergyman Tells
How He Esaped from His
Deadly Perils.

When spring comes, with It's gentle
showers, its balmy air, it's bright sun
shine and bursting buds, 1T too often brings
to our homes scenes of suffering and ply
sical decay.
The seeds of disease which were i'm
perceptibly terminating during the win
ter months, have developed and planted
in the system dangers that now call for
our instant care and attention. Neglect
and procrastination will only deepen ex-
listing perils and lead to death.
Before the advent of spring, you must
have noted symptoms, perhaps Of indi-
gestion, dyspepsia, rheumatism, neuralgia.
kidney disease, liver complaint, functional
Irregularities. or nervous disorders.
Take warning, sufferers the symptoms
you experience are signals of disease.
Delay not another day: hesitation and in
decision on your part may forever seal
your fate. If you have already made ef-
forts to Danish your troubles by the use
of other medicines and the treatment Of
physicians. and these have failed we
counsel you to put your full trust in that
great disease banisher, Paine's Celery
Compound. It's use for a week or two
will convince you that you have COM
menced a new existence. Rev. w. e.
Aldridge, a leading and prominet clergy
man of Birmingham, Ala. says
IT had been afflicted for ten years with
what I thought TO be heart disease, but
after having the physicians examine me.
I learned that I was almost dead from
Indigestion. They told me they could give
me medicine that would relieve me
there was no permanent cure. Then
began using Paine's Celery Compound
which gave me immediate relief and
am now enjoying good health. I car
recommend Paines Celery Compound to
be the best medicine for all ailments; IL
the people will use the compound freely.
they will have no doctors bill sto pay.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
State of Ohio. City Of Toledo. Lucal

State of Ohio, City Of Toledo. Lucas
County So.
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he
Is senior partner of the firm Of F. J.
Cheney & Co.. doing business In the
city Of Toledo, County and State afore-
said, and that said firm will pay the
sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS
for each and every case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by the use OF
Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK ]. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed
In my presence, this 9Th day OF De-
cember, A. d. 1886.
A. w. GLEASON,
GSeal1 Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter-
nally and acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system.
Send for testimonials, free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06

Jordan's "AaAl" Cutlery.
Use the Jordan "AaA1' brand of fine
English Cutlery only.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
Like q Drowning Man.

Five years ago a disease the doctors
called dyspepsia took such hold of me
that could scarcely CO." writes Geo. s.
Marsh, well-known attorney of Nocona.
Tex. II took quantities of pepsin and
other medicines but nothing helped me.
AS a drowning man grabs at straw
grabbed at Kodol. felt an Improvement
and WELL" Kodol is the only preparation
which exactly reproduces the natural
digestive juices and consequently is the
the only one which digests any good
food and cures any form of stomach trou-
BILE. Brown Bros.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
Sclatic Rheumatism Cured After Fourteen
Years of Suffering.

II have been afflicted with sciatic rheu-
matism for fourteen years" says Josh
Edgar, of Germantown, Cal. Il was able
to be around but constantly suffered.
tried everything l could hear of and at
last was told to try Chamberlain's Pain
Balm, which did and was Immediately
relieved and in short time cured, and
am happy to say 1t has not since return
ed? 1t Is for sale by Brown Bros.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
Dangerous II Neglected.

Burns, cuts and other wounds often fail
to heal properly If neglected and become
troublesome sores. DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve prevents such consequences. Even
where delay has aggravated the injury
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve effects a
cure. II had a running sore on my leg
thirty years." says II. G. Hartly. Yam
keetown, Ind. After using many reme-
dies. l tried DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve.
A few boxes healed the sore" Cures all
skin diseases. Piles yield to 1t at once.
Beware of counterfeits. Brown Bros.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
STATE NEWS NOTES.

The Order of Druids has been organ
lied In Reno with forty members.
Col. III. b. Maxson has a surveying
party at work in Lincoln county on sur
veys Commenced last year.
Alex Castro, arrested at Austin on a
charge of selling whisky to an Indian,
was bound over to appear before the
next Lander county grand jury. with
bail fixed at $500.
The Gazette says that the Bank of Re-
no. Incorporated a short time ago, has
been consolidated with the Bank Of Ne
vada. The capital OF the latter concern
will be doubled and the directorate in
creased
A fire In Virginia City early yesterday
morning destroyed a saloon building and
a residence and did $500 damage to the
building and plant of the Chronicle. The
newspaper Office was only saved from
ueSlructlOn Dy the UTMOST exertlOnS OF the
firemen.
In the Justice Court yesterday after
noon M. Triggers pleaded guilty to driv-
ing diseased sheep into this county from
the State of Idaho after he had been no
titled not to do so. Inspector Winter was
the complainant and Triggers was fined
$50 and costs on each of two charges
which he paid.-Tuscarora Times Review
While moving a railroad contractor
camp yesterday west of Clarks station
one hundred head of horses were being
driven down the line, when the east
bound flyer came laundering along, ran
into the band, and killed twenty of them.
Several sections of the new grade have
been finished and the camps are being
moved further down the line.-Reno Ga.
zette.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06
Notice to the Public.

All persons are requested to refrain
from dumping garbage on any of the
lots adjoining town on the southwest.
These lots extend from the end of First
stret to the end of Fourth street.
mh31tf. GEO. 3. NIXON.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1902-05-06

DIAMOND DYES are the simplest dye
made. child can use them.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1902-03-06
To Advertise Lander County.

Thomas d. Calkins Of the firm Of Cal
kins Bros. editors and publishers OF the
Pacific Coast Miner OF San Francisco
is spending a few days in Battle Noun
tain this week. 1t is their intention to ia
miliarize themselves with Lander's min
ing resources, and will try and visit all
the mining properties now under devel-
opment and publish a complete descrip-
ton OF the county in an early edition oil
their paper. The Pacific Coast Miner is
one of the most widely circulated min
ing papers published in the West and
the advertising which this county will
receive through that medium will be
valuable. In addition to the regular cir.
culation the publishers have arranged
with the railroad company to have a
thousand copies Of their paper distribute
ed free every month on west bound
trains leaving Ogden.
Mr.. Calkins is a very pleasant gentle
man and every courtesy should be shown
him while he remains here. The
gentlemen are engaged IN a good work
and deserve the support of the people OF
this State.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1902-03-06
An Oregon Murder.

At the Devine ranch at Alvord, Ore
gon, George Simpson, the foreman, was
shot and killed by Pat Moore, IA ranch
hand, last Friday morning.
The news of the killing was brought to
Winnemucca Sunday afternoon by Con-
stable English of McDermit. He knew
no particulars further han that Simp-
son was shot three times and that Moore
made his escape.
The description of the murderer which
has been sent out by Sheriff MeDeid is
as follows:
Irish descent; speaks with Southern
accent drops the 'R"; age. about 80
years; height. about D feet 7 inches;
weight, about 1876 pounds; dark hair
and dark moustache; blue eyes; medium
sharp nose"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1902-03-06
NEVADA CENTRAL EXTENSION.

We don't take much stock in the re-
port that a railroad will be built from
Austin to Tonopah. The Southern Pa.
cifc Company has a hiplock or the stu
alton. The 8. P. owns the c. & c. The
Austin road is a private corporation. II
the Austin road is extended to Tonopah
it will practically destroy the business OF
the G. & G. Seer But the s. 2. will
say to the Austin road: "You are a feed
er to IS. II you extend your road to
onopah and haul freight to Battle
Mountain we will charge 'steen dollars a
pound to take it TO or from Salt Lake"
OF course shippers couldn't pay the rate
So the Austin and Battle Mountain en-
CINE will continue to whistle merrily be-
tween those two picturesque points, but
no further.
We believe a railroad will be built to
Tonopah. We believe that it will leave
the G. & G. near Rhodes Marsh, ira verse
the territory continuous TO Silver Peak
and thence into Butler City. But il
will not be done until the Southern Pa
cifc Company Is satisfied that it will be
"a paying proposition. The 8. P. is
strictly a business concern. Sentiment
cuts no figure with it. 1t il a waste of
ozone and energy for people herea bouts
to straddIe a tripod and shout, "bring
on yer railroad When they get ready
they'll come; not sooner.-Walker Lake
Bulletin.
We don't see where brother Mccarthy
could have got such information, and
it would seem from the above that he
knows all the future plans of the S. P.
and the Nevad Midland roads. We can
tell you right here Mr.. Mccarthy that
the Nevada Midland will be ext nded
from Battle Mountain to Tonopah and
you will sure see the Austin and Battle
Mountain engine whistling between the
two points ere many months have pass
ed. You have begun to shout too late.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1902-03-06

Between the hours OF eleven o'clock
a.. m. and closing time at night ON Jan.
25th, 1901, A. +. Clark, druggist,
Glade Springs, Va, sold twelve bottles
of Chamberlain's'C Cough Remedy. He
says, II never handled a medicine that
sold better or gave better satisfaction
to my customers" This remedy has
been in general use in Virginia for
many years, and the people there are
we'll acquainted with its excellent
qualities. Many OF them have testi-
fed to the remarkable cures which it
has effected. When you need a good,
reliable medicine for q cough or cold,
or attack of the grip, use Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy and you arr GER
tain to be more than pleased with the
quick cure which it affords. For sale by
all druggists and dealers in medicine,