West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-06-05

"And you may think there's tar
and gravel in it also. BY John, but
the woman of to DAY has abou, as
much idea Of housekeeping as a cat
has of playing the piano, II is
costing me millioEe of dollars a
year to run this house, and yet If
want pound of head cheese can't
get i'll"
Mrs. Bowser felt helpless in the
mlttcr'and therefore wanted TO drop
the subject, but after walking about
for few minutes and glazing at the
cat in way to make the poor feline
shiver Mr.. Bowser suddenly dec
Jared:
81 belive can make the stuff my
self.
81 don't see how you can"
mo, Of course not. But do, and
Pm going down to the kitchen.
Should you want to go to bed before
get through don't wait for me-"
He went down to the kitchen and
the icebox, and in the latter he
found some cold beefstakc, cold
potatoes, eggs, celery, radishes,
bananas and cheese. For a minute
he stood and let his mind wander
back to bygone days, but he couldn't
remember how his mother made the
dish he craved for. He had dim
recollection that she mixed things
up and used bowl and chopping
knife, and that was what he proceed
ed to do. II he used beef, there
would be no grease, and if he threw
in the rest of the ingredients he
would have salad out of it anyhow
AS he chopped away at the beef he
added the other things one at a
time, and in the course of half an
hour he scraped all into dish,
poured on olive oil and vinegar and
peppered and sailed it to his taste.
"By John, I've struck III" he
softly exclaimed as he carried the
first spoonful to his mouth. "This
is the stuff to sharpen the appetite
and make man feel as il he could
eat nails. It's head cheese and way
beyond, and I believe if was to
put it up in paper boxes it would sell
like hot cakes"
Mr.. Bowses ate heartily. When
ever his appetite hesitated, he added
little more vinegar and set the
wheels going again. Toward the last
he found Bermuda onion and a
part of pineapple and added them
to the contents, and he enthusi-
astically decided that they increased
the 'twang," When he could hold
no more, he went up to the sitting
room. Mrs. Bowser had gone UP
stairs, and he sat down to finish his
smoke and newspaper. All went
well for quarter of an hour, and a
cricket was singing on the hearth
and the cat rubbing against his legs
when sudden pain seized him. 1t
lasted only two or three seconds,
| but by the time he had sunk back in
his chair 1t came again, and this time
it lifted him to his feet. The cat
looked up at him in wonder. and
he had doubts whether it was the
toothache or new corn. Not for
long. however. The pain bumped
him up and twisted him around and
lifted his heels, and he yelled for
Mrs. Bowser and fell upon the
lounge.
"Well?" she asked as she came
down stairs.
olive got awful pains l"he gasped
"What did you eat?"
an most everything. 1t must be
case of bilious collie. Lord, but
how | suffer- Say I'm deal MANI
al never heard of head cheese
killing anybody"
"But it's killing me OUCH Wool!
Woman, telephone for the doctor or
won't live an hour BY guml BY
thunder BY John!"
Half an hour later the doctor
arrived, and he worked over the
patient for long hour before he
was ready to go. He had his hat
on when Mr.. Bowser piteously
asked:
"D-doctor, will live?"
ooh, yes" was the cheerful reply.
eyes; an ass always. lives to be
90 years old, no mater what he eats,
| and | believe Won are onIv ro3D