West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-03-20
ThE BRAKEMAN AT CHURCH.

lowing good thing on "rhe Brakeman al
Church: ;"
On the road once more. with Lebanon
fading away in the distance, the fat passen.
ger drumming idly on tho window pane. the
cross passenger sound asleep, aud the tall,
thin passenger reading Gen. Grants Tour
Around the World" aud wondering why
'Blair's Keystone Stationery" should b.
painted above the doors of "A Buddhis,
Temple at Benares " To me comes the
brakeman. aud seating himself on the arm
Of the seat, says;
81 went TO church yesterday"
"Hes ? " said, with iha, interested in.
Election ,ha, asks Tor more. "And what
church did YOU attend ?"
(Which do you guess ? " he asked.
"Some union nilsson church r" hazar-
ded.
mo- he said, Il don't like to run on
these branch roads very much. I don't
often go to church and when do wan, to
run on the main hue, where your run is
regular and you run on schedule time aud
don't have to wait ON connections. don't
like to ruu on a branch. Good enough, but
don't ike t."
"Episcop4i ?" guessed
Limited express " he said, call palace
cars, and two dollars extra for seat, last
time, and only stop at the big stations. Nice
line bu, too exhaustive for brakeman. An
train meu in uniform, conductors punch
and lantern silver plated, aud no train boys
allowed. Then tho passengers are allowed
TO talk back TO the conductor aud il makes
them too free and easy. No, couldn't
stand the palace cars. Rich road, though.
Dom often hear Of receiver being appoin-
ted FOR that line Some mighty nice peo.
pie travel on it, too"
"Universalist " suggested
BROAD guage," said the brakeman,
"docs too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels ON a pass. Conductor
doesn't get fare once n fifty miles. Stops
at all flag stations aud won't run into any
thing bat union depot. No smoking car
on the train. Train orders are rather vague
though, and ,he traiumen don't get along
we'll with the passengers. No don't 20 to
the Unversasl though know some awfully
good men who run on that road.
presbyterian ?" asked
marrow guage, eh said the brake
man, pretty track straight as a rule; tuunel
right through mountain rather than 90
around 1t; spirit level grade; passengers
have to show their tickets before they get
on the train. Mighty slric, road but the
cars are a little narrow; have TO sit orc in
scat aud no room in The aisle To dance.
Then there is no stop over tickeis allowed:
got to 80 straight through TO the station
you're tickcted Tor or you cam; get on at all.
When The cars full no extra coaches; cars
are built at The shops to hold just so many
and nobody else allowed on. But you don't
often hear Of an accident on that road. rs
run right up to the rules"
Maybe you joined the Free Thinkers ?"
/ said.
"Scrub road, said the brakeman, "dir,
road bed and no ballast, no time card and
no itsin dispatcher All trains run wild
and every engineer makes his own time
jusI as be pleases. Smoke II you want TO;
Kind of go as.you please road Too many
side tracks and every switch vide open all
The time with The swiichmsn sonnd asleep
and The target-lanp dead out Get ON az
you please and of when you want to. DO
not have 10 show your tickets ana the con
dvctor isn't expected TO do anything but
amuse lhe passengers. No sir, was offered
a pass but don't like the line. I don't
like lhe lne Idon't like to travel ON
road tha has no terminus. DO you know,
sir, asked a division superintendent where
that road run 10 and he said he hoped 10
die II he knew. asked him II the general
superintendent could tell me md he said be
didn't believe they had general superinien-
dent and if they had be didn' know any
thing more about the road Than the passen-
gers. ! asked him wlo he reported 10 and
he aid Nobody { asked conductor
who be got bis orders from and he said he
'didn't take orders from any living man or
dead ghost And when I asked the cnpi-
nccr who De got his orders from he said
he'd like 10 see anybody give him orders;
he'd run that train 90 suit himself or he'd
un her in The ditch Now you see sir. Pm
a railroad m2n and don't care 10 run ON a
road that has no time or makes mo- conrec.
doDs. runs nowhere, and has no supcdntcu-
dent J, may be an right but We railrosdcd
'o5 long To- understand it"
"May D., you went 90 The Congregational
church ? 2" ] said
popular road " said the brakeman can
old road too; one Of the very oldest in This
county Good road.bed and comfortable
cars Well managed road too. directions
don't interfere with division supcfjntendcnts
and train orders. Roads mighty popular
hut irs pretty independent too. Yes didn't
one Of Che division supedn,cndents down
East discontinue one of the oldest stations
on lbis line two or Three years ago' But IT'S
a mighty pleasant road 90 travel on. Always
has such a splendid elias, Of passengcu"
odd you try thc Me,hodist2" said.
"N9w you're shouting" he said with
some enthusiasm "Nicc road eb2 Fast
time and plenty of passengers Engines
carry power Of steam and don't you for.
get it steam guagc shows hundred and
enough aII lhe Time Lively road. when
che conductor shouts au aboard you can
hear him to the next station. Every train.
light shines IKE head light Slop over
checks are given on all through tickets.
passengers can drop oft 'he ,rain as often as
hc likes, do ih- station two or three times
and bop on tbc next revival train that comes
laundering along Good, whole souied
comp'nionsh.c conductors. ANITA road in