The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-03-12

OF nothing out my insane love lof
Maria Tasilyevna Ryshkina. Sup
pose the director finds it out? Why,
that would be terrible. The shame
of it. Besides it might lead to all
sorts of disagreeabIe situations and
finally to my losing the position.
The teacher of mathematics in
the higher classes Of the male gym
nasim fell sick, and the work was
divided between another man and
myself. It only took me one hour a
day and did not in the least inter-
fere with my lessons at the female
gymnasium.
The most stupid member of the
eighth class was a fellow named
krassoff. He did not seem to have
a clear idea as to the difference be-
tween the size of an angle and the
length of its sides. How they had
passed him to the highest class was
more than l could understand. But
he was very diigent: and his strug-
giles with his geometry I'VE were re-
Viewing the curriculum Of the lower
classes for the final examinations
touched my heart.
l was so madly in love that I
seemed to be mutely praying every
body to help me convey my feeling
to the young lady to whom l dared
not speak except in the stern ac-
cents of a teacher addressing his pu-
pil. | had never been in such a
meek, almost fearful, mood. was
the kindest man in the world, and
every sufferer or victim aroused my
sympathy. l invited krassolf to
my house, gave him few private
lessons, patiently went over the ele-
ments of the subject with him, and,
flushed with success, l spoke to
him Of my past and got him to tell
me about himself.
Outside of his studies he proved
to be quite a sensible fellow. He
even had a sort of humor which |
thought delightful. l also liked his
honest face and his manly figure.
AS to him, he was rather shy and
slow to cast off all restraint, but one
evening, after a few hearty words
from me, the ice suddenly broke,
and he said:
"Ah, Semvon Semyonovitch, !
know I am stupid and that it's no
use studying. But l an in love
with an angel, and it is for her sake
that l am sitting up nights, trying
to drive my lessons through this
iron forehead. She would take me
as am. She said so. But I pledg-
ed myself to be an educated man, to
be worthy Of her"
"Tell me who she is" I command
ed him, pressing his hand and all
but falling on lis neck and kissing
him. 1t was all [ could do to keep
myself from giving away my own
secret.
"You know her." he answered.
''She is your scholar. It's Nile.
Ryshkina. She says you are al an
gel"
let 90 his hand. I felt as though
the floor was giving way under me,
but at the next moment I was over
come with fear lest he should divine
the cause Of my sudden change, and,
putting on mask, I fell to clap
ping my hands.
Bravo! Glad to hear it, old boyw
I shouted. Of course my voice did
not ring true, but Arassoff was in a
ferment of all sorts of feelings, so
he did not notice it.
Eight years have passed. Kras-
soft is practicing law. He is quite
successful, and often as I make my
way home after lessons l meet Ma
ria TasiIyeyna driving. I don't call
on them. Am l still in love? !
hardly think I am. But so far |
have not been interested in any 9th
er woman in the same way in which
I was in her. Maybe [ had in me
just love enough for one attach
ment; maybe I am still destined to
love and to be loveG. At all events,
nv heart feels so empty, so empty.
All, if you knew how hard it is to
live as l do!