The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-24

the opposite hill. old 81 Pas-4'.ay on
terry of storm busters. an, T,5.t Dat
EN- KNOWN anything aboB- -L''-eE OF
Next nornin' come an no. Inc.
IN the blue Uncle Jabez Sizs5 ''oud
SITUATION, an says he 10 the - the
Sle IeL knee; Here's where Nc on
duce some weather. Says y w per
is, If there's any weather vritJs- met
IN distance As pants tho D. 9looi-
coolin' streams says I-r,1. Ter
quotin' hime tunes. 'Ss seez.
melons for a likely shower ~ my
soin' 10 fetch 'em one or - m
agriculture government Of H. m IN
ed States d plumb liar saws h.. INT
Accordingly he unIimberaj L..
weather battery and fired a br,r,,. MS
saiutes in the face OF the -. %.
heavens. 1t so happened -f curtin
Beetle was in town thar day an II
the perceedins. -5aIa
What in tarnation's ther rso,--.,
he says JACKET
"'Thet?' says Johshua ATauris .o,
/ reckon thets Jabez Bonesat DON
leetle gunnery- When was a.
apast seen him loadin' up some on
lookin' guns
'Jabez Boneset, hey2' says 81 Raaz1.
chucklin' lit TO bust "A rib. .F-frir. p.
guns, hey? S'pOSe he's just r-st.I
up an thinks its Independents d.
Thets just about how up-to-ds-o "a
Jabe it. says 81 Beetle. amusiu. hin,
self almost to death.
In he pixies to the tavern N b.,-.
Il couple of nips on il, and vybaT y.
comes out there was a mighty uror,,i.
ln'-loOkin' dark cloud over toward ~,
western horizon.
e 'Jizzern' jacksnipe" saws old si
There's the storm I've been wantin- r.,
try my battery on III have ~
| hustle home
They do say il took Sis mare tbraa
weeks to recover from the Iarrupin' She
got on the way home. ii druv her
straight 10 the hilltop. where he bs5
his guns planted, jumped out. lii a
match. and in lessn half a minute he
was pluggin' away at them clouds as
fast as he could get from gun to grn
| None too soon, either They were
/ very full Of business, them clouds that
/ Jabez witched up with his weather
guns, and before 81 could puncture EN-
some Of the rain and hail fell on his
| grapes.
Not enough to do any harm.
/ though, says 81. BY the great bob
+ tailed straddle-bug.' says he-Si prided
/ himself on his command of new cuss
| words. whether diagonal, straight. or
kitty cOrnered-'that's a grand inyen-
| ton, that cloud-bus Of mine. TN
write a letter to the BuckaIoo County
/ WhOoperioo, he says. in praise OF The
| United States agricultural department
right now. And while I'm dom IL
he says, III watch out for mora
4. storms. for that one come up mighty
| quick
! over on his hilltop. Uncle Jabez
| Boneset was mighty disguised because
the rainstorm he'd conjured I'd
never reached the hum plate Natur-
| ally. he heard sis battery operatin'
but he didn't figure on tibet amountin'
! to anything
| Thet old perrynoyaCk says he
usin' a word which he'd just dug out
/ Of a medical work, hes probably out
shootin mosquitoes instead OF poison
! in EN- TO death with kayrosene. which
is the progressive way I'm sorry for
him. he says. Tomorrow III git
up a rainstorm that'l discourage his
shootin' and save him powder
80 next day he loaded up and per-
duced an able-bodied cloud which 81
Beetle on his hill immejitly perforated.
Uncle Jabez tried another. 81 made
a bulPs-eye.
! Uncle Jabez banged out two storms,
( northwest and southwest. ii did a d0u-
ble-barreled trick and both Of EN- died
inside the boundaries
BY this time the BOneset blood was
up and the BOneset suspicious was
reused. Uncle Jabez collected all his
ambition. started a nalf-dozen storms
on their career of destruction and final
~ landed one of 'em over the valley
while 81 was dOin' target practice on
the rest Thus IL happened tibet ia
bez's sphere of infiOOence and Sis range
of action overlapped and their Weathe,
guns crossed each others paths
Now, you can monkey with nature
just so far. and then she breaks lUoS
and rips things. and what happen1C
this time was that the high pressure
and low pressure got fatally mixed
and one abIe-bodied cyclone started
down Sis hill and met another able
bodied cyclone from Jabez's elevation
'Bein' unable to remain behind.
went along with his cyclone and JADE
/ accompanied his Talk about pergres
( siyenessI AS / said before. both @
the old men was progressive. but the
never progressed thet fast before o
/ since.
First thing either of EN- knew the
! was buttin' heads like two old ram
in the bottom of the valley. Then say
Jabez Boneset to 81 Beetle
Did you shoot 10 my Storm
Was thaE your storm says s.
1t certainly was, says JabeZ-
, brung it to help my melons, he say
It's d twentieth century notion tia
, you'll learn il you live ten years NOR
maybe.
An you never took thought Of II
grapes says 81.
, An old fogy like you got no bus
ness YaiSin' grapes says my Unc
| Jabez. unless he knows how 10 prr
tect EN-
~ guess I can look after a grape
two says 81, as long as ] got M
storm Dustin mOrtars- It's a scieut
/ fic novelty he says. that YOU an Pu
tolemmy an the rest Of the mummi'
= amt onto yet
Then you done it, says Jabez vel
savage.
y did thet.' says 81 quite iudepenr
ent-
IN hand you d oorkscrew punct
says Jabez-
And III lam your solo Pegasus q
you couldn't tell il from a last year
/ tometter can says 81
With that they went at It. II
first pair of cyclones was bad cnoug
but they was summer zephyrs cor
, pared TO the article tibet the Cpmbin'
! fightin' powers of my Uncle Jao
: Boneset and old ST BeezIe turned on
After half an hour of it. JabeZ 70.
| lynn with his feet in the creek and
! was Topped up against a tree
. 81 says Jabez, are you licked
I dunno says 81 Are you
! No says Jabez; but I'd hate
/ be any nearer il than ! am
: So would l. says 81. Have -
! got any good, new. warranted pa
! / tent Tfrir7ey7ts that x-orr could recon