davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Side Lights on History.


NOW, Methuselah, during the latter
years OF his long life, suffered grieVousIy
from rheumatism, but, with the obstf-
macy that was part of his nature. re-
fused to do anything for il. He said he
could stand II as long as the rheumatism
could
One of his neighbOrs came in one day
with new patent medicine.
Grandad, he said, there is something
that VIII relieve you. I've seen a string
of testimonials a yard long from persons
it has cured
I've no faith in it," replied the old
man. Besides, it's too much trouble
Just as expected" retorted the other
thoroughly out Of patience. There's no
fool like an old fool"
1 suppose that's so,'' said MethuseIah
YEARLY. I've been hearing it for the
last 500 years.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
ROOSEVELT ON TRUSTS.

D RESIDENT ROOSEVELT isn't
L nearly as aggressive in his anti
trust talk as he was during the cam
paign From the time congres9 adj
journed until the votes were counted
except when he was on some pleasure
excursion or detained at home by Ill
ness, the president went around telling
everybody about the smashing the Re-
publican party intended to give the
trusts. Now mark how peaceful is his
lay. At Philadelphia Saturday he said;
Time NAV be needed for making the So
luton (of the trust problem) perfect; put
IL is idle to tell this people that we nave
not the power to solve such problem as
that of exercising adequate SUPERVISION
over the great Industrial combinations OF
today We have the power and we ShaH
find out the way. We shall not act hasllly
or recklessIy, but we have firmly made up
our minds that d solution, and right
solution, shall be round, and found 1t VIII
be.
Verify. the Republican lion has be-
come a sucking dove. The Democratic
charge that the presidents spoken OPP
position to trusts was intended for
campaign purposes only, was vigorous
" denied by friends of the admins
tration. but the present attitude Of
Colonel Roosevelt more than justifies
the accusation. Nothing could be
wagner, no words could have more be
cIouded the real issue, than the utter
Rnces of the president at Philadelphia.
And even If he had bitterly denounced
the trust evil, if he had declared his
determination to put down every un-
lawful combination of capital, the pub
lie would still have had reason to doubt
his sincerity. That reason is found in
his tribute to Attorney General Knox.
to whom he referred as that profound
jurist and upright and fearless public
servant, who represents Pennsylvania
in the cabinet"
This indicates that Knox is to be
retained where he can do the trusts
the most good. His past record con-
tains nothing which discloses any hos
tility toward the trusts, and his well
known trust affiliations preclude the
hope that he will change his attitude
during the remaining years Of Presi-
dent Roosevelt's tern.
The president is unquestionably right
when he says the people have the pow
er to deal with the combinations, and
that they viii find the way; but that
way does not lie through Republican
portals. The only hope for a solution
Of the problem lies in the Democratic
party. 1t is possible that the day Of
reckoning may be postponed for some
years, perhaps many years; but, SOON
er or later. there viii be an awakening.
and then the question will be settled
as it should be settled.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Wit of Horne Tooke.
Saturday Evening Post.)

It is said that Horne Tooke, who ex-
celled in that duel-like controversy ex-
hibited by two disputants when pitted
against each other with only the breadth
Of mahogany board between them. was
exceedingly quick and sharp at retort.
When he made his most deadly thrusts
1t was with a smiling countenance, and
without seeming effort or emotion. Re-
plying to a man who cOntended that only
land owners should be allowed to vote at
elections. he said: Pray, tell me how
many acres does it take to make wise
acre?" When asked by George III
whether he ever played cards. he replied
L cannot. your majesty, tell a king from
a knave.' What can be more uniquely
comic than his saying to his brother:
You and /, my dear brother have in
Verted the laws of nature; you have
risen in the world by your gravity, and 1
have fallen by my leVity?"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

lis. It is a move. in other words. for the
uplifting OF the musical taste. for the
orchestra is to music what Shakespeare
is to the dramatic most perfect ex-
preston of the art
Mr.. Shepherd is to be complimented
on the programme arranged for the
opening. 1t shows not only taste and
discrimination, but a rare musicianly
instinct The vocal and harp num-
bers add materially to the attractive
ness of the programme and big vic
tory tonight may safely be predicted.
It is certainly hoped for.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Good Substitute.
Chicago Tribune.)

Father, I should like to try one of
these systems of physical exercise that
are advertised in the papers. They are
cheap, and you don't need any appar-
atus-"
'4IH furnish you one. my son. that I
tried with great success when l was a
young man. and I'll warrant it to be as
good as any in the market"
could / take 1t here at homer
YES; that is one of its chief merits
ANY apparatus necessary
Yes, but it's quite simple. III furnish
it
Can l take it in my room?
mo; you take it out at the woodpiie.
You will find the apparatus there, all
ready Tor YOU. my SON.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Cut Both Ways.
nondon Answers.l

''I want my hair cut, and no talk" said
a sixteen-stone man, with an I-own-the-
earth air, as he walked into Swindon
BARRIERS shop and sat down.
THE -" commenced the man in the
apron.
mo talk. tell your shouted the heavy
man. Just plain hair cut. I've read
all the papers, and don't want any news
Start right away, now
The man in the apron obeyed
When he had finished the man who
knew everything rose from his chair and
surveyed himself in the glass
Great Scotti' he exclaimed. Its really
true, then2 You BARRIERS can't do your
work properly unless you talk
Il don't know said the man in the
apron quietly You must ask the bar
ber- He'll be in presently. I'm the
glazier from next door"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Useless PRAYER.

Representative Lamb of Virginia tells A
story about little girl and her prayers,
She lives in Petersburg and is just AZ
years old. Like all other good little
girls. she kneels every night at her
mothers knee, and, after reciting the
Lords prayer. silently adds little prayer
curious, asked her daughter what she
had told the Lord Mamma" said the
youngster, II asked the Lord TO please
remove that mole on your face, but. ="
added the little one. Il also told the Lord
that l thought the mole had come to
STAY
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
The Chinese Language.
(Detroit Free Pressl

Chinese is an Geographic language Ii
conveys the idea and not the word for a
thing, as the figure ''S'' represents the
idea and not the word. The Chinese have
invented more than 40, 600 marks for their
writing, but it requires only about 1900
marks for mercantile correspondence, and
it is said to be easier to learn than the
words of an ordinary foreign language.
Russian is more difficult for Americans
than Chinese. 1t takes much longer to
learn the spoken language because of the
variety of dialects, but anyone can learn
enough of the writings TO answer Ordi-
nary purposes in a few months and have
his knowledge perfected by a linguist
within about a year. Exact instruction
in one of the Chinese languages can only
be given by Chinaman.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Brother Dickey's Philosophy.
(Atlanta Constitution

Poverty may be blessin, but we amt
beseechin de Lawd fer dat kind.
De man what starts out ter make de
WORT betten mos inginully winds up by
feeIin' wusser.
De day er judgmint loks so fur off ter
some folks dat dey can't even see Gabrul
polishin' his trumpet.
Riches may be a curse, but We'en it
comes ter dat. lots er US fels dat we kin
stan a good deal er cussin'.
Some er desc hard-headed sinners kin
take dis fer dey consolation: Dey won't
be any coal strike in de place whad dey
gWinc.
find lots err folks in dis worP wrat'n tell
you Solomon didn't know a thing erbout
II
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
He Didn't Guess It.

tBrOOkIyn EagIe.)
ooh, I have such a lovely cOnundrurn
for you,' she exclaimed, delightedly u
know you'll never guess it.
"Oh, l don't know" he replied conf
IDENTIFY. Lets have it and We'll see''
when is a gown not a gOwn?" she
asked.
He looked dubious.
Il know an answer" he said, but per-
haps you'd better give yours first
when it's a dream" she explained.
y never would have guessed it, he
admitted
What was your answer she In
duired.
when it's an extravaganza, he an
SMered.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Wounded Pride.
Everybody's Magazine.)

A ScotchTnan had reached the sum-
NIT of his ambitions, in attaining to
the magisteriaf bench. The honor
seemed to him a great one, and he tried
TO live up to it.
With his head high in the air, he
staggered along till he went bolt up
against a COW which had not the man.
ners to get out of the way, but con-
tinued to browse by the roadside in
mild unconcern.
Mon" cried the indignant owner.
''p7ind my cooP'
Woman" he replied, with fine dig
nifty, I'm no longer a mon. I'm a
baillie."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
Reflections Of a Bachelor.
(NeW York PreSs.O

New YORK PreSs.)
Brilliant words written in wine fade in
colorIeSs ink
The devil seems to know how to play
any game that ever was invented.
Books for the studious, prayers for the
virtuous women for the wise.
A woman's sdea of a crown comes pretty
near 10 being one Of nice curly hair.
The first thing a girl does when she
gets interested in mar is TO go and have
her photograph taken so as to be ready
when he asks for one
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

President Roosevelt will now proceed
to dash off his annual message to con-
gress, after which. having saved the
country, he may be persuaded to have
another try at those inhospitabIe Mis-
sissippi bears.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
The Rright Side
fChicagn Record-Herald.

(CnlCagO hecOTd-HeraId-)
what an optimist Binkley is"
Yes It's pretty hard to discourage
him."
when he fell and broke his leg last
week he lay there and smiled while they
were bringing the ambulance. Finally
some one asked him If it didn't hurt oh
yes he said. But I can't help being
tfckled because it's the left one. I have
a bad corn on the little toe of that foot
and it'1 have a chance TO go away while
I'm laid up "
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

The weather man says the storm OF
Wednesday is coming back to pay US
a sure enough visit. Well, Wen try
to bear up. Any old storm is likely
to get tired before the people of Utah
do just now.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
In the Running.

Baltimore American.)
AS the orchestra manager skipped the
town
With the box receipts in his hand.
He said, as he left the players behind,
I'm running to beat the man
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

1t is pleasant to know that the Unit
ed States came up to the expectations
or the crown prince of Siam. We
would have felt mighty bad if the
prince had been disappointed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

Twelve highwaymen banded together
and held up a Rock Island train in
Iowa. They ought to be ashamed of
themselves. Out west we do things diff
ferently. In Montana, for instance, it
only takes one man to rob a train.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

The great interest taken in the horse
shows of New York and Chicago in
dicates that the faithful animal of our
fathers has a few friends left who
think he is as good as any automobile
that has yet been invented.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

Next time there is a disturbance in
the anthracite coal country the oper-
ators are likely to say, like Davy Crock
ett's coon: Don't shoot, Mr.. Mitchell;
Wen come down"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
One Advantage.
Baltimore Herald.

YES" said Mr.. Torque, the Dogfaced
Man at the museum thought he was Ia
boring under q great disadvantage, but
when he became tramp he found il an
You see, people were afraid
TO sic their dogs on him for fear he u
bite the dogs
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

There was nothing in yesterdays dis
patches about Admiral Schley. Maybe
he is trying to slip quietly into Salt
Lake again.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

nothing but gynaecoiogy. others who
devote their entire attention to OBJ
stetrics. some treat the eye and the
ear, some the nose and throat. and so
it gees through the various branches
Of surgery. The most distinguished
medical men are the specialists. And
the same thing is true of the legal
profession There are lawyers who
make a speciality of mining law. others
devote their time to corporations,
others to criminal law.
The jack all-trades is the fellow
who stays forever at the bottom of
the ladder. He is SO busy doing a
lot of things poorly that he hasn't
time to do one thing we'll. The re-
suit of the system of specialization
may be confusing to the layman, and
expensive. too, but he has at least
the satisfaction of knowing that he
is getting full value for his money.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
The Dear Little Girl That I Knew.

(Alfred ]. Waterhouse in n. Y. Times.)
In the wonderful calm of the twilight; in
the night, when the day voices cease,
sit by the bank of the river, the marvel
Gus River of Peace.
And out of the shadows there stealeth a
face with the morning aglow,
And the fragrance of blossoms that faded
in fields of the long, long ago.
Dim forms Ger the river are floating in
barks that the shadows enfold,
And song through the silence IS steal
ing, a song unforgotten and old;
White hands reaching out in caresses, the
hearts that were loving and true,
And the form, like phantom that bleSSeS,
of dear little girl that L knew.
Oh, cold is the heart of the Northland.
and chill is its Winter of SHOWS,
And over the mound of her sleeping the
wind like a requiem blows,
Yet out of the grave and its silence she
comes through the pitiful night,
And her breath on my forehead is warmer
than wine that is kissed by the light.
And her heart beats to mine like the mu-
sic Love plays on his harp when ne
wills
Till it reaches to uttermost spaces. and
the soul of creation 1t thrills.
And, sitting where shadOwy faces pass by
me in phantom review,
I sigh at the thought of the graces of a
dear little girl that l knew.
oh, white was her hand as the mantle
that Winter has woven of SHOWS;
And red were her lips as the ruby Inat
under tropic sun CLOVIS;
And true was her heart as the truest that
ever Deaths finger has stilled;
And blue were her eyes as the bluest OF
skies that the day-fairieS build;
And still through the silence she beareth
today and its trials surcease,
As I sit by the bank of the river, the mar
velous River of Peace;
And her lips on my forehead fall lighter
and softer than beat of the dew,
AS 1 dream of my beautiful darling, the
dear little girl that I knew.
1 know not the love that enhaloes the
ones that in loving are blessed,
But still in the darkness and silence my
lips by my darling are pressed.
No bliss and no rapture of living and low
ing my being have thrilled,
No heart to my warm heart is beating,
none heedeth the structure l build;
But still when the twilight has gathered,
I sit in the darkness alone.
And dream of a face unforgotten, face
that smiles back to my own;
And 1 know, though the world gave me
nothing, not vainly the swift mo-
ments flew,
Since they leave in my fond recollection
the dear little girl that / knew.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
No visible Sign.
CYonkers Statesman.)

There Is one very suspicious thing l
have noticed about the man who says Il
told you so, remarked the Observer of
Events and Things He never seems TO
come out with new hat after election"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
rhere Are others Like Him.
RsItimore Americanl

A philanthropist cut off the tail of a
cow For uuoth he she hath killed
many flies with her tail, therefore she is
not humane"
He forgot the feelings of the COW. Think
this over. ye reformers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

At an Indiana football game last
week pistols were very much in evil
dence- Now. if they'll add courses in
craftsmanship and battle ak fencing to
the training of football players. the
game will be really worth looking at.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24
ANGEL Food.

Baltimore NewsO
Eyes. I asst tn Teddy FIR a piece O. an
gel food
AN wotd she give youse2'
''She gimme a chunk o. birthstone an a
piece O. phosphorousl"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

The concert at the Grand last even
ing was attended by perhaps the
largest, and certainly the most en-
thusiastic, audience that has yet been
attracted by the First Regiment band
The chief attraction was Signor Sc
taro, the Italian harpist who played
with Ellery's Royal Italian band Last
night the signor was at his best, and
he completely captivated his hearers.
With one accord the audience de-
manded encores and encores. never tir-
ing of the beautiful tones of Won
derfully played instrument. Setaro's
execution is marvellous.
Another pleasing novelty was the
cornet solo by Mrs. A. L. Hartley.
Such a performance by woman is
seldom heard outside of vaudeville
Mrs. Hartley has certainly learned her
instrument, and her renditions were
warmly received.
The band did some splendid work,
notably in the opening march, Sousa' s
Imperial Edward the Poet and
Peasant" overture, and the descriptive
piece, "A Cavalry Charge" The pro-
gramn1e throughout was popular with
the house and Mr.. Christensen has
reason TO feel encouraged at the
progress shown in his weekly concerts.
WI SnCpiiStu SyAhpnouy OtSiiSS1Ad
VIII be heard for the first time at the
Salt Lake theatre tonight, and the
whole towns seems to be on the tip
toe OF expectancy for the event. The
orchestra itself. which has been re-
hearsing under Mr.. Shepherds baton
for many weeks, will undoubtedly be
a big surprise. So say those who have
heard it's work The soloists are no.
table, also. Setaro has proved himself
a master of the harp, and the vocal
lists, Charles Kent and Miss Lottie
Levy, are certainly artists of reputa-
ton. Mr.. Kent makes his first public
appearance since his return from the
east, while Miss Levy has always been
prominent before the local public as
a singer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-11-24

In spite of its age, ''Uncle Toms
Cabin" will doubtless receive an en-
thusiastic welcome at the Grand to-
night. The production promises to be
of exceptional merit.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-03-05
Cameron Notes.

Cameron, Texas, March IA patriotic
sermon was delivered at the Presbyterian
church yesterday morning by the pastor In
commemoration Of Texas Independence
Day. Today the postOtice is closed, but all
otuer places Of business are open.
Dr. Charles Ferguson OF this city hiss nc
cepted the position Of house surgeon In the
SANTA 70 hospital at Temple.
The political pot is getting ready 70 boil
over Saturday, March s, the day Of the
Milan primaries.
Dr. +. p Mckinney has returned from
New Orleans. where he has been dong
special wTok in his line for the past few
months.
Mr. Broley Of Austin was among his
friends here yesterday
J. T. Michael has opened restaurant In
the Hehey building.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-03-05
ANNOUNCEMENTS.

We hereby announce ourselves as candi-
dates for aldermen OF the city Of Houston
Of our respective wards, subject. to the
action OF The deu-ocratic primaries, aud
hereby declare ourselves In favor OF the
following platform;
J. We favor municipal ownership oe all
public utilities, and especially favor the
city owning and operating its own water
works and light plant.
.. We favor pubic improvements.
O. We favor strict enforcement OF all
contracts entered into by the city.
:. We favor creauns sinking fund snf-
fcicut 10 care for bonds at maturity.
. We favor that 10 gssnting tranchis sea
same and her rights well guarded and pro-
6. We favor the encouragement of manu-
:. We favor union wages and unloo
& We favor an efficient hre aud police
8. We favor the city making such prcyi-
sions rs are necessary for the pubic
schools ~ the city, To meet their pecunlafy
obligations ~ same mature, and the Tag
ing aside Of = certain percentage OF the
city's revenue for their mainteuaane ana
10 Ne favor the administration Of the
snAlrs Of the city in sn economical and
business Ike manner
FFHir.t WWard ". j. Kohlhaur. Henry
Sctoud ward.-Feu1 scnrsm, James A.
T TbiFd Ward C. c. street Edgar Wat.
Fourth ward Herman I, Keller, T. W.
Firth ward Robert l. Jones, Steve \.
Slxt6 Ward. w. n. wall, ]. 4. CASTOR.
/ hereby indorse the above platform ana
respectfully solicit the people OF hous
ton TO vote FOR and support the above nam
cd candidates '0' ''0' o. T. Holt
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-03-05

sia Cure

In ninety-nine cases in hundred nd:ges-
ton is due to lack Of some OF the elements
which constitute the natural digestive
juices. usually to the absence OF hydrochlu-
rio acid from the stomach 1t Is by the ac-
uon OF these juices that food is reduced TO
a form in which it can be transformed into
living tissue With any OF them lacking II
is easy TO see that the process Of digestion
cannot be perfectly performed
with the single exception OF KodOl Dys-
pepSia Cure all preparations for the relief OF
Indigestion lack certain OF these elements,
Consequently they cannot digest all classes
Of food. kodol Dyspepsia Cure contains
them all, II will digest anything that the
healthy stomach can digest tits natures
own cure.
Don't resort 70 stimulating tonics. Such
drugs simply urge The already oycrworked
stomach 10 renewed eXeTtions, 1t is Ike
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-03-05
Victoria Notes.

Victoria, Texas. March 4-The schubert
symphony Club and Lady ouartette. the
last of the six attractions Of the Star course
under the auspices Of the Young Mems
Christian Association, was greeted by a
very large and well pleased audience last
night at HauschiId's opera house. The
course has been q pronounced success aud
the committee will myst this afternoon 10
bsisnce UP accounts and begin preparations
for next years course, which they hope TO
make larger and better than this year
white boy named Oates was seriously
stabbed Sunday night in n difficulty near
the depot by negro, who escaped and has
not vet been caught.
Dr. =. j. Cooke has offered prize Of $40
for the heyt essay on Sanitation" present
ed before Nav ]. The article must ne ap-
plicable 10 Victoria. and the award VIII be
made by . committee selected by the school
board.
Francis TynG Of the roadmaster's Office is
on the sick list.