davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Thinking of the Future.

Why do you and Harold keep up
such a fiourishing correspondence,
Julia, when you live in the same block
and see each other every day."
my goodness! Surprising either of
us should get famous after we're mar
ried. haven't we got to have some love
letters to be published"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
not Entirely Disinterested.

Bystander-"Ah, my brave man.
your gallant deed makes you hero.
You exerted your utmost strength to
save the gentleman from a watery
grave"
Hero---Yes. you bet did. He owes
me ST.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

The Western Algiers Railway Com
pany has decided to offer a premium
Of $40 on the birth OF every cnild be-
longing to its employees. The employe
with more than three children is to
receive an extra allowance Of $40 a
child a year.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

They were q young couple clipping.
She-I have left no possible clew as
to where we are going.
He-Why do anything so foolish,
She--So foolish?
He-Yes. Your father won't know
where to send checks.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
MarchIone ss of Orkney.

emit at so important an event as the
coronation of King, but because she
was an actress, this cannot be.
The Countess of Orkney is older
than any of these and, when the 9TH
ers were unheard Of, was winning \
sort of fame on the concert hall stage
as Connie Gilchrist.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Prlnce and Poet.

Prince George of Prussia, 76 years
old, is the eldest member of the house
of Hohenzollern and is known as the
"Hohenzollern poet" He has written
under the pseudonym OF George Con-
rad" a number of tragedies. notably
"Phaedra."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

I'VE are turning out some very elab-
crate scales" said the agent. Some
that will attract the attention of your
customers"
do you suppose I want my GUS
toners to watch the scales?" asked
the surprised butcher. Give me the
plainest style you have"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
TIE Usual Thing.

There's something remarkable
about this umbrella" said Jawleigh.
exhibiting the antique handle.
Il suppose" remarked his friend.
you refer to the fact that while your
name is John Anderson Jawleigh, the
monogram is F. L. T.? Nothing Pc
culiar about that. at all. sir"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Romance Among the Freaks.

Did you hear what sentimental
way the Living Skeleton adopted to
propose 10 the Fat Lady?" asked the
Circassian Beauty.
NO" responded the Human Hedge
hog. What did he do?"
''she found him in her stocking
Christmas morning"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Compulsory.

CassiSy-"Phwat makes ye look so
sober?"
Casey-"Faith, OF can't help It.
There's been a strike"
Cassidy-"An ye're out av job?"
Casey-"Not at all. It's not me that's
on sthrike, but the Bartenders union.
an all tn places is closed"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Circus Chat.

$50 that horrid. mean ringmaster is
going to be married, is he. What wo-
man is fool enough to have him!" said
the queen Of the sawdust
"Oh; he's got the right woman. all
right; don't you worry" replied the
tight-rope walker.
who Is it?"
"Mam'selle Bossi. the wild animal
tanner"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Philosophy.

Nothing is made in yain," said the
philosopher.
That's right" answered Senator
Sorghum. II was thinking OF that the
other day. 1t doesn't make any differ
ence how no-account horse Is you
can always trade him OFF for some
thing, and the most useless member
of society can be gathered up to the
polls for voting purposes"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

What 10 the matter with me. doc
eor?"
Il fear you have a severe case Of
cephalagy," was the reply.
Great guns. doctor / can't afford
it,"
"Oh, that's different. It's headache
same thing. You'll be all right
SOON"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Housekeeping DIlemms.

How do you like your new coek?"
Ever so much, but I'm afraid to let
her know it"
"Why?" aDeJ
"She'd want more wages"
Then why don't you appear dis
satisfed?"
Because she'd leave
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Lady Ito woman whose husband has
just been sent to Jail for wife-beating)
Why do you think your husband win
miss you?
Woman-He'll miss me because hs
can't hit me-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Truly n Large Legacy.

"You say o'Hannagan leaves the or
phans' home a large legacy?" BE-
dad, It's purity large" How much %
Twelve children an goat, begorra."
London Tit-Bits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

domestic virtues have been such that
even the Queen has looked with favor
upon her and there has been some
talk of the social barriers being let
down for Viscountess Clancarty's ad-
mission to the aristocratic set. She is
brilliant. suave, bewitching to look
upon. with a face one may scan vain
ly for a flaw, of ready wit and no.
BILE presence.
Lady Headfort. another Of the os-
TRACKED quartette, was Rosie Boote
a Gaity Theater girl. Rosie is ma
tive Of Ireland. whose pretty face and
sweet voice made her a fayorite on
the English stage for six years. She
played In pantomimes and danced and
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Nurseries,, dear. this Is your nttfs
baby sister.
Elsie-Indeed! And where aid she
come from?
Nurse-The stork left her here In
clothes basket.
Elsie-The idea! Perhaps she'll
grow up to be a washwoman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Granger am looking for the ante
room. Bell Boy-All right, boss. What
Is your limit?-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

She (enthusiastically)-'Oh. George.
don't you think the greatest Joy in life
is the pursuit Of the good. the true and
the beautiful?"
He-"Sure thing! That's why I'm
here tonight"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
Cut Out the Red.

It Is a good thing for young man
to try to make his mark In the world
SO long as he uses something besides
red paint in doing II.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Clara-How long will your engage
ment to him last! Maud-Wny. I
don't know how much money he has
saved up.-Detroit Free Press. III
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

do you always tell your wife the
TRUTH" "Bless you, of course do. I
even tell her more tina, the truth
New York Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

He-"Do you suppose you win ever
get tired OF my making love to your"
She-"There's no reason why 4
shouldn't. Detroit Free Press. i
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Mrs. Wigwag-~Does your husband
keep liquor In che house?
Mrs. GuZz,er-Not very long.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

cie's hands in her own. You may as
we'll tell us, you two" she said gently
and steadily. "Winfred, my dear
friend, am | to wish you happiness?
The mother here has been questioning
me. She was afraid that you and l..
that you were more than my friend,
but have told her that you are free.
free to love my cousin Lucie. saw
1t long ago. Before you had begun to
dream of it. Winfred. Before either
Of you had, | think"
She took Lucie in her arms. She
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10
"And she didn't think she would ike

idea that plaids would not become
her"-Puck.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

M. de Blowitz claims he invented
the interview" Nonsense. Mrs.
Caudle had the start of him by half a
ntury."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Wise Il he who knows where his
knowledge ends and his ignorance be-
gins.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Eyes. when we visited the Winnie
bago camp they offered us baked dog"
slow do they prepare 1t. with the
bark on or of?"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Mrs. Brown-Charles. why do they
call 1t a bucket-shop? Mr.. Brown
Because, my dear. 1t is outside the pals
OF respectable gambling. = Boston
Transcript.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

81 am a self-made man." said the
pompous individual with his chest ex-
banded. The ether looked at him crit
ically. "Your excuse is satisfactory"
he said.-Brooklyn Life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Client--Is there cause so bad. or
an individual so Infamous. that your
services could not be obtained! Law
yer (thoughtfully)-I cannot say. on
hand. What have you been dcing'--
The King.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Famous scientist (excltedly): Some
thing must be done to stop the spread
of the opium habit among women"
Great editor Calmly: VERY well.
sir. I'll put In paragraph saying that
laundering for opium is sign Of old
sge."--New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10


laughed because of love. And in that
still, far-off night, he heard Elinor
speaking. ITO me, 1t is beatifc"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-04-10

Possible Evoiution.
Nurseries,, dear. this Is your nttis
baby sister.
Elsie-Indeed! And where aid she
come from?
Nurse-The stork left her here In q
clothes basket.
Elsie-The idea! Perhaps she'll
grow up to be washwoman.
Housekeeping Diiemma.
How do you like your new coekT
Ever so much, but I'm afraid to let
her know it"
"Why?" abET
Shed want more wages"
Then why don't you appear dis
satisfied"
Because she'd leave
Cassi6y-"Phwat makes ye look so
sober?"
Casey-"Faith, OF can't help It
There's been strike"
Cassidy-"An' ye're out nv q jobf"
Casey-"Not at all. It's not me thats
on sthrike. but the Bartenders' union.
an all tn places is closed"
THINKING of the Future.
They were young couple clipping.
She--I have left no possible clew as
to where we are going.
He-Why do anything so foolish! {
She--So foolish?
He-Yes. Your father won't know
where to send checks.
Logical.
Lady Ito woman whose husband has
just been sent to Jail for wife-beating)
Why do you think your husband win
miss you?
Woman--Hell miss me because he
can't hit me-
Not Long Enough to Spell.
Mrs. Wigwag-~Does your husband
keep liquor In che house?
Mrs. Guzz,er-Not very long.
Some borrowed Jests.
Granger am looking for the ante
room. Bell Boy-All right, boss. What
is your limit?-Judge.
"And she didn't think she would like
golf at all?" mo. She had strange
idea that plaids would not become
her.'-Puck.
do you always tell your wife tho
TRUTH" "Bless you, of course do. I
even tell her more tina, the truth
New York Herald.
Clara-How long will your engage
ment to him last! Maud-Wny. I
don't know how much money he has
saved up.-Detroit Free Press. Il
He-"Do you suppose you win ever
get tired OF my making love to your"
She-"There's no reason why 4
shouldn't. detroit Free Press.
IN. de Blowitz claims he invented
the interview" Nonsense. Mrs.
Caudle had the start of him by half a
entury."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Eyes, when we visited the Winnie
bago camp they offered us baked dog"
slow do they prepare 1t. with the
bark on or off?"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mrs. Brown-Charles. why do they
call 1t a bucket-shop? Mr.. Brown
Because, my dear. 1t is outside the pale
OF respectable gambling. = Boston
Transcript.
81 am a self-made man." said the
pompous individual with his chest ex-
banded. The ether looked at him crit
ically. your excuse Is satisfactory.
he said.-Brooklyn Life. /
Client--Is there a cause SO bad. or
an individual so Infamous. that your
services could not be obtained! Law
yer (thoughtfully)-I cannot say. on
hand. What have you been dcing'--
The King.
Famous scientist (excltedly): Some
thing must be done to stop the spread
of the opium habit among women"
Great editor tcalmly): Very well.
sir. I'll put In paragraph saying that
a hankering for opium is sign of old
sge."--New York Weekly.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
When Girls Should Marry.

A girl should marry when she is
capable of understanding and fulfill
ing the duties of a true wife and
thorough housPkeeper, and never be-
fore, says the Pittsburg Dispatch No
matter how old she may be, if she is
not capable Of managing a house in
every department OF it she is not old
enough TO get married. When she
promises to take the position of wife
and hOmemaker, the man who holds
her promise has every right to sup
pose that she knows herself compet-
ent to fulfill it. If she proves to be in
competent or unwilling be has good
reason to consider himself cheated.
No matter how plain the home may
be, if it is in accordance with the hus-
band's means. and be finds it neatly
kept and the meals (no. matter how
simple) served from shining dishes
and clean table linen, that husband
will leave home with loving words
and thoughts and look ahead with
eagerness to the time when he can
return.
Let the girl play the piano and &C
quire every accomplishment within
her power, the mOre the better, for
every one will be that much more to
be used in making a happy home. At
the same time, if she cannot 20 into
the kitchen, if necessary, and cheer
fully prepare just as good a meal as
any one could with the same material,
and serve itneatly afterit isprepared,
she would better defer her marriage
until she learns. If girls would
thoroughly fit themselves for the po-
sition of intelligent housekeepers be-
fore they marry there would be fewer
piscOntented, unhappy wives and
more happy homes Elk.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31

The Christmas exercises at the
Cong'l church last Wednesday even
ing drew the usual large number
the church being filled. The audto-
rum was tastefully decorated with
evergreens and across the chancel was
suspended the words " Merry Christ
mas" on pasteboard bells. The dec
orations and trees were very nicely
arranged. The exercises consisted OF
a program especially arranged for
the occasion and was made up of
singing by the school, responsive
reading, an address by Pastor
Hager, duet by Mrs. Page and Mrs.
Keller, recitations by Byron Camp
and Miss Helen Wood, and a cautata,
"Who is Santa CLAUSE" by the little
folks. All of the exercises were very
interesting and the cantata was "the
best yet" in the way of Christmas
entertainment The little folks sang
sweetIy and each took his part we'll.
They were drilled by Mrs. E G. Page
whose care and instructions brought
about a successful result. Following
this came the distribution of gifts
and all the little folks as we'll as
many of the larger ones were remem-
bered.
In addition to the tree with gifts
for home people was an additional
tree on which was placed gifts to be
sent to a Sabbath School in New
York. The committee in charge of
decorations and general manage
ment was a good one and headed by
Miss Blanche Brigham and Prof
Scribner worked earnestly and dill
gently and consequently success
crowned their effort,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
A Successful Business.

From the Manchester IN. Ii y Union
of Dec. we take the following inter
esting account of the successful
creamery business Of Arthur E East
man, son of Geo. Eastman of this
place.
A business transaction of more than
common Importance has recently been
made i'll this city, whereby Arthur E.
Eastman, familiarly known as "East-
man, the cream man, ," dealer in milk,
cream and grocery specialties, acquired
the large dairy business of J. E. Hyslop,
formerly owned by M. c. Paige, added
it to his own, and by this combination
formed the largest enterprise of the kind
in the state of New Hampshire. Today
Mr.. Eastman handles the output of his
own three farms with their combined
dairy of fifty cows, and in addition to
this the product offorty selected diaries
in the vicinity of Manchester. He has
plant in West Manchester equipped
with the latest devices for testing the
milk separating the cream and hand
ling the various products in which he
deals, and has an outfit of delivery
teams larger than is used in the retail
milk business anywhere else in the
state.
The creamery at so Parker street is a
complete dairy establishment, equipped
with steam turbine, twenty four bot
tie milk tester, De Laval power separ-
ator, a Reed pasteurizer, a Stoddard
churn and power and steam appliances
for washing and sterilizing cans and bot
ties. In brief, it appeared to Union
reporter who looked the plant over yes
terday, as if there was everything that
could be wished for except room, a sin
gle defect which is a not uncommon
concomitant of rapidly growing bust
ness and which Mr. Eastman is planning
to remedy.
The proprietor of this enterprise
started in business about seven years
ago, driving a single team and having
no assistant. Today he employs four
teen men. The story of these seven
years of steady success is that of bust
ness foresight which was keen enough to
see that fair dealing lies at the founda-
tion of substantial growth.
Mr.. Eastman has an enviable reputa-
ton for business integrity among the
two-score producers whose milk, he
handles, and thus has access to the best
sources of supply, and his customers al
so find that he depends for success up
on the quality of the articles in which
he deals and straightforward methods.
1t may be incidentally remarked at
this point that Mr.. Eastman's goods are
periodically inspected by the board of
health officials, and have always stood
the rigid test IN satisfactory manner.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
Tortured a Witness,

Intense suffering was endured by
witness r. L. Martin, of Dixie, KY,
before he gave this evidence: :" /
eoughed every night until my throat
was nearly raw; then tried DR.. Kings
New Discovery which gave instant
relief / have used it in my family for
four years and recommend it as the
GREATEST remedy for Coughs, Colds
and all Throat, Chest and Lung
troubles. 1t will stop the worst
cough, and not only prevents but
absolutely cures Consumption. Price
Zoe and $1.O0. Every bottle guar
anteed. Trial bottles free at Slayton
q Sanders Drug Store.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
To Discontinue Work at Eden Mines.

1t has been known by some for a
long time that the property in Eden
owned by the New England Asbestos
Mining Co., was not turning out the
quantity and quality of asbestos that
was expected. As far back as Sep.
TENDER the directors of the company
held a meeting at Fall River, Mass,
and they then decided to increase
their capital stock to 81 100000, and
at the same time secured options on
several properties in Canada which
they now have purchased. These
Canadian mines are some that have
been worked for some time and the
quality of the rock there is assured.
1t is said on good authority that
the stockholders of the Eden proper
ty will not lose any thing but their
stock will be transferred to the new
company's mines in Canada, which
will be known as the New England
Canadian Asbestos Co. OF Fall River,
The company have put in about 5000
900 into their plant in Eden and just
what disposition will be made of it is
not known at present, but a portion
of the machinery will probably be
shipped to their new mines.
The asbestos company began to be
talked about nearly three years ago
and there are several people who have
had property in the mining region
who have profited by the sale of their
land at good prices, but they are the
only ones aside from the general good
which the business has done to those
who came in contact with it.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
What's in a Name ?

Everything is in the name when it
comes to Witch Hazel SalVe. Z. G.
Dewitt & Co., of Chicago, discovered,
some years ago, how to make q salve
from Witch Hazel that is a specific
for Piles. For Blind, bleeding, itch
ing and protruding Piles, eczema,
cuts, burns, bruises and all skin dis
eases DeWitt's Salve has no equal.
This has given rise to numerous oun-
terfeits. Ask for DeWitt's-the gen.
uine.
Foss & Strong, Hyde Park; Slayton &
Sanders, MorrisvilIe; NJ. j. Leach, Wolcott
F. l.. Laraway, Waterville c. P, Jones,
Johnson; q. W. Smith, North Hyde Park
Shattuck 4 Son, Eden.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
A Gold Wave.

The forecast of sudden changes in
theweatber serves notice that a hoarse
voice and a heavy cough may invade
the sanctity of health in your own
home. Cautious people have bottle
of One Minute Cough Cure always at
hand. E. II. Wise, Madison, Ga,
writes 81 am indebted to One Min
ute Cough Cure for my present good
health, and probably my life." 1t
cures Coughs, Colds, LaGrippe, Blep-
rhitis. Pneumonia and all Throat Hfd
Lung troubles. One Minute Cough
Cure cuts the phlegm, draws out the
inflammation, heals and soothes the
mucous membranes and strengthens
the lungs.
Foss & Strong, Hyde Park; Savton &
Sanders, Morrisvlle; M. J. Leach, Wolcott;
F. l.. Laraway, Watervile; C. P. Jones,
Johnson; E. W. Smith, No. Hyde Park
hattuck & Son, Eden.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
KOdOI Dyspepsia Cure.

Digests all classes of food, tones
and strengthens the stomach and di-
gestive organs. Cures Dyspepsia, n
digestion, Stomach Troubles, and
makes rich red blood, health and
strength. Kodol rebuilds wornOut
tissues, purifies, strengthens and
sweetens the stomach. Gov. G. W.
Atkinson of W. Va, says I have
used a number of bottles of Kodol
and have found it TO be very effective
and, indeed, powerful remedy for
stomach ailments. | recommend it
to my friends.
Foss & Strong. Hyde Park; Slayton &
Sanders, Morrisville; NJ. J. Leach, WolcotC !;
F. L. Laraway, WatervilIe; G. P. Jones,
Johnson; e. W. Smith, No. Hyde Park !
Shattuck & Son, Eden.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1902-12-31
HYDE PARK.

Dewey Hanley spent Christmas at
the paternal home in Essex.
James Eaton and family visited
relatives in Hard wick Christmas.
Mrs. Wilma Hanley of Essex spent
Christmas here with her parents, Mr..
and Mrs j. s. Leach.
Miss Seymour, the stenOgrapher,
spent several days the past week at
her home in Randolph.
Mrs. Valleau and her sons, Doctor
and Cornelius, spent Christmas here
with Z. II. Crane and wife.
The midnight mass at st Teresa's
church Christmas eve was well at
tended. A large number CT our
young people were present.
Four electric heaters have been
placed in the Town Library and the
same will now be used as public
reading room, open every evening"
Miss Mabel Collins spent Sunday
with Miss Ella Kinsley at Fletcher.
Miss KnsIey is spending several
weeks at that place for the benefit OF
her health.
State Auditor Graham was in town
last week on business. The sO-called
serious illness with which he was
reported afflicted was none other
than a severe cold, from which hehas
recovered.
About forty partook of the Christ
mas dinner at the Pl 9lix-several
of the number being families from
the village. Mine Host Crane set up
a royal feast which was served in the
Phenix's best style. Dainty menus
we're specially printed for the occa-
sion and the tables were decorated
with holly.