davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Finding His Bride.

In one part of the canton of Ticino,
In Switzerland, very quaint marriage
ceremony prevails. The bridegroom
dr,~ses in his Sunday best" and ac-
companied by as many friends and rel
atiyeS as he can muster for the fete.
goes to claim his bride.
Finding the door locked. he demands
admittance. the inmates ask him his
business. and in reply he solicits the
hand of his chosen maiden.
If his answer be deemed satisfactory
he is successfully introduced to a num-
ber of matronS and maids, some per-
hapS deformed and others old and ugly
Then he is presented to some large
dolls. all of which he rejects with
scorn, amid general merriment The
bewildered bridegroom, whose impetu-
Osity and temper are now sorely tried.
is then Informed that his ladylove is
absent and invited in to see for him
self
He rushes into the house and search
es from room to room until he finds hel
In her bridal dress, ready to go TO
church. Then are his troubles over
and his state as Benedict assured.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
PlCKlNGS FROM FICTION.

If silence is golden. a discreet silence
is away above rubies.-"Life Oh the
Stage
Most men are inventive enough in
the matter of personal Justification
Papa Bouchard."
The nan in Il man can only be recog-
niZed by the woman in Il woman.-"By
the Higher Law"
1t is human nature to shrink from
confessing oneself wrong in ones an
icipations.-"L Lassie'
a girl is never too young to form
opinions of her own sex-or to express
them-"The Destiny of Doris
The world may doom you to plain
living. but only you can deny yourself
plain thinking g.-"Deafness and Cheer
fulness."
Wonen love good men, but are inter
or less impaired-''The Man From
Glengarry."
The power that prepared the high
ways of life seems to have arranged
that the tingerposts along the primrose
paths shall rarely point to the prom
ised land.-"Captain Bluitt."
Think not, as many say. there is but
one springtide Of life, that it is but a
green and sappy youth which ruShes to
Il brief summer and all else of life is
but winter, long and drear and gray
and lonely. Through all our life our
springtide is renewed =" Mistress
Brent"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
His Idea of Heaven.

The lad was about five years of age
and naturally inquisitive. He asked
his father questions lie had never
heard before, and the fond parent was
a perpleXed man.
The yOungster got on the subject of
the next world one day and wanted to
know Il lot of things. "Will you wear
mustache in heaven, papa" 2" he ask
ed.
Il suppose l will, my son." replied
the father
You'll make funny angel"
There was a long pause. and finally
the boy asked what kind of place
heaven was. The father in order to
satisfy his son went into lengthy de-
tails in describing it's beauty.
The lad listened with open mouth
and finally said, why, papa. heaven
must look like the ten cent storev'-
Pittsburg Press.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Where He RelOnEel.

A clergyman observed a horse jockey
trying to take in a simple gentleman
by imposing upon him broken wind
ed horse for sound one. The parsOn.
taking the gentleman aside. told him
to be cautious of the person he was
dealing with. The gentleman declined
the purchase. and the jockey. quite
nettled, observed, 'Pars0n, had much
rather hear you preach than to see
you privately interfere in bargains be-
tween man and man in this way"
"Well," replied the parson. IF you
had been where you ought to have
been last Sunday you might have
heard me preach"
"Where was that?" inquired the
jockey.
"In the state prison." returned the
clergyman.-London Standard.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Sl.OO a YEAR.
TAR AND FEATHERS.
How II Feels to Wear d Coat Of This
Fearful Hixture.

People who read OF tarrinG and fea.n-
ering know that the punishment Is a
very unpleasant one, but few imagine
how terribly painful and dangerous 1t
Is. In Wyoming l once saw man who
had been tarred and feathered. and, al
though he fully deserved the discipline.
| could not help pitying him. Hard
ened tar is very hard TO remove from
the skin. and when feathers are added
1t forms a kind Of cement that sticks
closer than a brother AS soon as the
tar sets the victims suffering begins.
1t contracts as it coolS, and every one
of the little veins on the body is pulled.
causing the most exquisite agony. The
perspiration Is entirely stopped. and
unless the tar is removed death Is GER
tain to ensue.
But the removal is no easy task and
requires several days. The tar cannot
be softened by the application OF heat
and must be peeled off bit by bit.
sweet oil being used to make the proc
ess less painful. The irritation to the
skin Is very great. as the hairs cannot
be disengaged. but must be pulled cut
or cut off. No man can be cleaned OF
tar in a single dag. as the pain Of the
operation would be too eXcruciating
for endurance, and until this is done he
has to suffer from a pain like that OF
ten thousand pin pricks. Numbers Of
men have died under the torture, and
none who have gone through 1t regard
tar and featherlng as anything but
most fearful change
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
LEGAL BOOKS BY THE YARD
Contents Are Waste Paper. but the
BINDINGS lmpress Clients.

Legal Filings at all prices. in sheep
skin or calf" That is an ADVERTISE
rlcll tlat YOU may occasionally see in
the catalogue of dealers in legal books.
The term legal filings" says Il
writer in Stray Stories. is applied to
well lound volumes that contain moth
ing but an odd assortment of worth
less price lists. old reports and some
times cut newspaper pages. The COW
ers are handsome. but the pages are
merely SO much waste paper
The volumes are sold to young sole.
itors who wish to impress their clients
by formidable looking library. and.
as they have a studied legal appear,
ance. they have their effect upon the
visitor
A cheaper line of these books"
made of blocks of wood covered with
cloth or calf. handsomely fooled and
bearing Il title in gold. can be bought
at prices varying from $3.50 to 81 per
dozen.
One secondhand bookseller in Lon
don has made a small fortune by hav-
ing old books Of all kinds that might
be worth about a penny or twopence
apiece rebound IL handsome style He
has title printed in gold on the back
Indicating that the book is some learn
ed work upon medicine or chemistry
These he sells to young doctors at
about 20 cents each which leaves him
a good profit.
20 10 J,np In, 4 h.,
consulting room and help to give the
impression that the young medico Is a
deeply read man.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
The Ring Of CheoDA.

Cheops was the builder of the pyra-
mid which bears his name, and. as If
to make the structure perpetuate his
deeds for all time to come. the very
stones and bricks of which it is com
posed are stamped with bis name.
Cheops lived nearly $500 years ago. his
great pyramid being an antiquity In
the days when the great nations Of old
were in their youth. and yet we of this
twentieth century can have the salts
faction of looking upon the very ring
he wore so proudly upon his finger.
The hierOg!yphics on the ring are mi
nutely accurate and beautifully eXecut
ed, the ring itself being of finest gold
and weighing nearly an ounce. The
oval signet bears the name Of CheOps,
which is in hieroglyphics in perfect ac-
cord with the stamp on the bricks Of
the great pyramid. This remarkable
antiquity was found in tomb at Chi
Zeh- 1t now repOses in the museum of
the New York Historical society,".
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
French Bread Laws.

The French baker is not only requir-
ed to conform to laws regarding
weight. but he is also told at what
price be must sell his bread. He Is fur
ther required to deposit a certain sum
of money In the hands Of the municipal
authorities as surety of good beha-
vior. In the large fortified cities he
has to keep a specified quantity of -four
on hand to provide for warlike emer-
gencies.
In Germany laws Of similar import
are In existence and are enforced with
dreams Of defying them.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
She Soon Altered It.

Many young ladies have found 1t
necessary to improve, or rather to alter,
the spelling of the names with which
they were originally blessed. Mabel
becomes Mabelle, Jessie becomes Jes-
sica. Mary becomes Marie. and So
forth. A brother lately received let
ter from his young sister at a fashion
able boarding school, 1t was signed
JeSsica He answered:
Dear Sister Jessica-Your welcome let
ter received. Papaica and mammaica are
we'll. Aunt Maryca and Uncle Georgia.
started for Glasgowica yesterday. / have
bought new horse. You ought to see
1t. 1t Is a beauty. Its name is Maudica.
Your affectionate brother. SAMICA-
The sisters next letter was signed
"JeSSie"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Indian Homes.

The young Indian wife Of today Is
clean. a fairly good cook and tidy with
her house. says an exchange. She Is
not yet well versed III the art of dec
Grafton. and red and green are pre-
dominating colors In all Of her rooms,
whether in harmony or not. The house
has good furniture, but it is strangely
arranged. The lounge Is a favorte
piece of furniture. and one sees it in
every Indian household. always In the
parlor. If the Indians have a piano or
organ. it goes into the bedroom. The
young buck best saddle also goes into
the parlor. and in many houses it Is
hung upon the wall. Red ribbons are
tied to everything. even the tail of the
cat. for no Indian household Is com
plete without a cat and a dog.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Three CuriOus Rells

There is a curious legend connected
with the bells Of MtsSingham church
IT is said that long. long time aC) a
traveller was passing throuch Messing
ham when lie noticed three men sitting
on stile in the churchyard and say
ing, "Come to church, Thompson; come
to church, Brown" and SO on Being
very much surprised. he asked what it
meant and was told that, having no
bells. they called folks to church In
this way. The traveller remarked that
1t was pity so fine church should
be without bells and at the same time
asked the men if they could make
three for the church, promising to pay
for them himself.
They undertook to do this. They
were respectively tinker. a carpenter
and a shoemaker. When next the trav-
eler passed that way, he found the
three men ringing three bells which
said. Ting, tong, pluff." being made
respectively of tin, wood and leather,-
London Tit Bits.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
A Connie of JOk

Judge Joseph Aspinalrs reputation
as a humorist on the bench is proven
bal. but when off the bench he rarely
jokes. Hence it was that Assistant
District Attorney Martin w. Littleton,
the after dinner spellbnder. was taken
by surprise when the judge calmly in
Quired
Martin. you are interested in ath-
letics. Tell me the name of the cham
pion shot putter."
"I'll have to pass that. Judge"
"Well, then. what's the matter with
cannonY
Mr.. Littleton Teeled from the impact.
but. quickly recovering. replied:
'Ah. yes. very neat. But. by the way.
l see you aye one Of the entries in the
big paper chase"
Paper chase? What paper chaser
said the judge unguardedly.
''.'he chase for greenbacks. judge.
Good day Glad to have met YOU
New York Times.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
4 Story of Mark TWIN.

II met Mark Twain on a river steam
er when he was very young man."
said an aged westerner. "At that time
he was rather a gaunt young fellow
with sleepy southern manners and a
drawl peculiar to the river town in
Missouri. Something in my appear
ance attracted his attention. for he
stared intently at me whenever we
met. 1t SO happened that | wore en-
one foot an Indian mOccaa.n having
been injured shortly before
FINALLY | demanded, with some irri-
tatiOn, whether he had ever seen me
before. He looked me over and dra WI
ed:
"'Well your - face is familiar
Then he dropped his eyes to the deck
with troubled frown. 'But-I-can't
-recall-yOur-feet'
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Some Famous Echoes.

There is famous echo on the Rhine
between Coblentz and Bingen which
repeats a word seventeen times. while
In the sepulcher Of Metella. the wife
Of Sulla. in the Roman Campagna, there
is an echo which repeats five times in
different keys and will also give back
with distinctness a heXameter line
which requires two and a half seconds
to utter. Brewster mentions an echo
Oh the north side of Shipley church, in
Sussex, England, which repeats twen-
ty-one sylla bles.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
BEN FRANKLIN'S PURCHASE
An Old Electrical Machine Dating
Back to the Revolution.

An va ffectr1cnl Nachlne Dat1nss
Back to the Revolution.
Nearly every schoolboy of genera
ton ago was familiar with the friction
al electricity machine, never of very
much practical value. but of great in
terest to youthful minds on account OF
the spark that could be made TO pass
from condenser to youthful finger
Nowadays tie size of the spark has in
creased as Tia size of the machine has
diminished, but an example Of the ear
lier type is still preserved at tie Jeffer-
son physical laboratory at Harvard,
where an interesting collection of an
tiquated pieces Of apparatus gives the
visitor to Cambridge an opportunity to
compare the earliest with the latest
methods of studying physics and as
trOnomy.
This special piece, moreover is par
ticularly interesting in that it was orig
inally purchased for the college by
Benjamin Franklin when acting as
American commissioner to France dur
Ing the Revolutionary war. 1t is a cum
berSome affair that would require
automobile to move. but the principle
on which it is based is the same as in
its modern successors. Aside from size
the most noticeable difference is in the
use of a glass globe about IL foot in dl-
ameter TO produce the electricity by
friction instead Of the big circular glass
plate seen in later machines.
Despite its size and the big globe,
however-which is supported on posts
resembling those of a colonial four
poster bed-the old machine never eX-
ceeded a spark two inches long and
vas even proud Of that modest per-
formance. How modest it really was
may be seen by comparison with Il
modern machine in the next case. So
much smaller than Franklin's that il
can be held III one hand. that produces
4 Spaik of e!eci- city of nearly seven
inches
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Street Car Stra DIS.

1t is not entirely prudent to put your
hands in the straps furnished in the
street cars for overflow passengers.
Turn one of these straps in any cal
not fresh from the shops inside out.
and the reason will be plain. Handled
as they are by all sorts and conditions
Of men, they are really carriers of dis
case. The abraded skin of your finger
may touch an infected spot and dan
gerous bacteria may adhere to it. which
at the next movement Of the hand may
be transferred to the delicate tissues
Of the mouth or reyes.-EXchange.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
How to Distinguish Tender Beef.

Meat. to be wholesome. must come
from a healthy animal; to be nutri-
tiOus, from well nourished one. Much
used muscles absorb much food mate
rial, making rich, juicy meat. This is.
hoWov2r. tougher than that Of parts
less csed, because the connective tis-
sue anj Sber increase as we'll as the
contents of the muscle tubes.
The lear Of good beef is firm, elas-
tic and when first cut purplish red, the
surface becoming bright red and moist
after exposure to the air. The tender
er cuts are fine grained and we'll mot
tied with fat; thick layer Of firm.
light. straw colored fat extends over
the rib and loin cuts; the kidney suet
is white and crumbly. Flabby. dark
or coarse beef with yellow fat is poor.
If It has little fat. it is from an old or
underfed creature.-Beatrice Raven In
American Queen.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Office and Man

Once upon time a postmaster who
Iived in Il Kansas town was seated in
his office reading postal cards when a
native cyclone suddenly came his way.
The wind carried him through an east
window and in the direction of Il chest
nut grove three miles distant.
In few seconds he was safely seat
rd in the top of a high tree busy pick
Ing chestnut burs out of his hair and
clothing when he saw the building
that he had so suddenly left coming
directly toward him.
Il declare" he exclaimed there
comes the old shanty looking for mel"
Moral. - Sometimes the office seeks
the man.-New York Herald
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
A NischIpvOus Schoolgirl.

Commodore Il. Nedder. while young
man. teaching school. had occasion to
punish mischievous girl. and, as was
usual in that day and locality, was
about 10 resort to the ferule. To the
offending maid he said. Miss -,
give the your hand" She dropped her
head and blushed. Again he said
sternly. Miss -, say. give me your
band"
Slowly lifting her eyes, she remark
ed: Mr.. Vedder. this is embarrassing
for me You should not make such
proposals i'm public. However. you
must ask my papa first"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
An Innocent Author.

Some new authors arrive with such
q hilarious confidence. such q blithe In
nocence, that 1t Is always interesting
to hear about them. One has Just sent
to well known London publisher a
letter something like this:
81 am told that it Is usual on the eve
Of the appearance Of a book to enter
tain oil the London reviewers to a din
ner. Will you kindly tell me what this
would cost. where the dinner should be
held and who. in your opinion. should
be invited? OF course the thing ought
TO be done handsomely"
1t is amusing and true. = London
Chronicle
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
FISH AS FOOD.
The Best Kinds to Eat and the Way
to Cook Them.

Fish constitutes one of the most val
though the popular notion thai it is
good brain food because Of tie phos
phorus it contains is incorrect. AS
matter of fact fish meat in general con-
tainS less phosphorus than most kinds
of flesh meat. But it is good for the
brain indirectly, for it is less stimulat
ing than flesh meat, is usually digested
in the system of fewer of tie waste
products which, if not at once elimi-
mated. act injur.ously upon the deli
cate nervous system.
The last mentioned property is one
which renders fish Of especial value in
the diet of persons suffering from
Bright'S disease and other affections OF
the kidneys, from rheumatism. gout
and all those diseases which many ply
sicians regard as the result Of excessive
format ation or retention of uric acid. For
convalescentS also ii is most useful. as
it supplies a fair amount of nutritiye
material in pa ia bic form, witt a min
imum of tax on the digestive organs.
Among the most nOurishing and at
the same time digCs stble fish are blue
fish. shad. red snapper. fresh Goldfish
whitetish, striped bass. Ealibut and
founders. And equally nutritious. al
though perhaps less digestible. are
brook trout, lake trout, salmon. mack
erel and cells. Roe Is not particularly
nutritious. but 1t is agreeable to the
taste and fairly digeStible.
The mode of preparation has much to
do with the digestibilty of fish. as 1t
has with that Of all other foods. Boil
ing and broilng are better modes OF
cooking than frying.
The chief objection to fish IS its
proneness TO decomposition, even when
kept on ice. 1t may be free from any
taste or otor and yet ii may lave un
dergone changes which make it poison
ous Some fish are poisonous in them
selves, containing iD the natural state
some substance which will cause alarm
ing symptoms, or even death, II eaten.
With some persons fish In any form
does not agree. causing digestive disor-
ders or skin eruptiOns. This is notably
true of Holsters and crabs.-Youth's s
ComDa Mon.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
The Caddie's Eyesfxht,

Good eyesight is necessary for a
caddie. Isn't it?'' asked the boy Of 10
experience.
''Oh, | don't know" answered the
experienced lad. There's some cou-
pies in this club that'll pay you more
for looking the ether way an not seein'
anything than they will for findin' the
balls. You've got to learn when to
have the eyesight an when not to have
it."-Chicagt &Post.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25

One Of my children was reading to
me in her English history how the
D'ayor killed Wat Tyler Il suppose ii
kicked him." she remarked. | explain
cd that the mayor was man. "Oh."
she said. Il thought mare was an
old gray horse
My mother told me that the word
"suudry." which she heard in church
i'll the eXhortation, puzzled her much
till she decided in her own mind it re-
ferred to the hot, arid land Of Pales-
tine. where the Bible was written-a
sun dry place. Words.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25

The mountains are always moving
down into the valleys. When spring
time comes, every stream will run
muddy In It's course. At this rate all
the soil from the hills would soon be
gone were not this soil being constant
ly replaced. Water soaks into the
crevices Of the rocks. and when it
freezes it swells with almost irresisti-
bic force. That very little Of it can
crack an iron pipe most Of us have
found out to our cost. Thus the rock
is split, and the pieces made in this
way are again broken into finer and
finer fragments until new soil is made
to take the place Of that which is so
rapidly moving down to the lowlands.
Professor S. G. Schmucker in Ladies'
Home Journal.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Had Been There.

"There is no doubt" said the student
of law. that many people have been
imprisoned, although innocent of any
crime"
81 know that by sad experience"
You don't say SO! Let's have the
story"
There's no story to it. | ms ely had
the bad luck to be drawn on several
juries that were locked up over night"
Washington Star.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Things Not to Say to Baby's Mother

Here are some of the things you
should never say to the baby's mother.
When will it begin to look intelli
gent?
Goodness! / believe the child is
really taking notice.
Do you think Of raising it?
Do you feel any attachment or affec-
tion for it et?-Minneapolls Journal.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Able to Answer.

Unc!e-What are you crying for,
George?
Georgie-Teacher caned me because
answer a question today.
Uncle Gndignantly)-This is scandal
Gus, my poor boy! What was the ques-
tioa?
George (between sobs,- Who put the
bent pin in the teachers chair:-Tit-
EitS
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
CUttin e.

A Scotch lawyer was well reproved
when. seated by lady fully aware oe
her own plain looks, having bowed to
his hostess in giving the toast. Hon
est Men ana Bonnie L.asses.' she re-
Joined. raising her own glass. 1--WE may
neither Of US"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
Cnnpigh hOr1y.

Here Is a department store adver-
tising that it will put initials on UNI
brellas free Of charge"
THAT is what ! call an act destruc-
tive of all neghborly feeling. Think
how you would feel going around with
an umbrella with somebody else's name
on itr'-W Washington Times.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-25
He MakRA Ii Par.

Benson-Talk about the lamentable
state Of the public service! Why.
there's Nestor. for instance He has
been in public office for twenty i've
years. and what. | should like to know.
has be ever accomplished?
Weston-Well, be has had a job all
that time. Surely that something
Boston Transcript