The Washington times., 1902-01-20
Our Legislative Methods
Puzzle Visitors.
CAME TO PLEAD PEOPLES CAUSE.
After Argument Before House Com
mittec They Find That Their Pres
entatiOn of the Case Is UnderstOOd
to BE That of the Magnates-WiII
Try Once More.

Mendoza and Senior Place-are OF the
opinion that what they don't know about
American legislative procedure is not to
be told in mere words. This conclusion
has been driven into them with adult
pile-driver effec. by the members of the
Ways and Means Committee of the House
of Representatives.
And this IS the manner of the hap
pening:
Seror Mendoza and Senior Place. his
friend, set out some time ago from the
shores of the little isle lying at the feet
of the big continent. Each is a man of
parts. Each is many-timcs millionaire.
Each enjoys the confidence of his COM
munity.
Perturbed About the Tariff.
Leading up to the departure of Senors
Mendoza and Place had been much per-
turbation regarding tire tariff on Cuban
sugar entering the United States. The
little man with a pocket handkerchief
patch of cane-bearing ground was in
tears. The lordly owner of miles on
miles OF saccharine crop trembled for his
profits. Take them small and fine, the
Cuban planters were in sad state of
worry.
I'VE can't stand sugar tariff" they
agreed among themselves. Something
will have to be done. and done at once.
We must tell Washington tfct the tariff
spells ruination for all OF u. And how
shall we tell this to Washing M"
After some discussion it was unanimous
ly agreed that the best plan would be to
send committee to the Capital OF the
States. and empo.s- the delegates to
speak in the name of all Cuba.
And whom shall We send?" again en-
quired the planters, the one of the other.
And after some casting about, it was
agreed that nowhere could be found men
more worthy of the important trust of
freeing Cuba from commercial ills than
in the persons of these two gentlemen.
Senior Mendoza and Senior Place, his
friend.
So this much was settled.
Impressed With Washington.
The two gentlemen in due course ar
rived in Washington. They were much
impressed with Washington. They told
each other that it was a beautiful city.
to be sure. They admired the public
buildings ana the public grounds. They
made many charming acquaintances.
Every now and then Senior Mendoza would
remark to Senor Place:
I'VE must Lot forget, my dear comradc,
that we have to appear before the Con-
gress."
And Senior Place would answer that
they assuredly must not forget. 1t would
never do to forget. They had come to
Washington TO speak to the Ways and
Means Committee, and the thing should
be done.
When the meeting day of the commit
tee came around. Senior Mendoza and
Senior Place, his friend. were on hand
with commendable promptness. They
were very politely received. The commit
teemen shook them by the hand and said
they were glad to see the Cuban gentle
men Even the naughty clerks of the
committee unbent, and smiled indulgently
upon the bruno and beaming gentlemen.
At the proper poiD' Senior Mendoza rose.
cleared his throat, and addressed the
committee.
The Eloquent Mendoza.
What Senior Mendoza said was well
worth hardening to. He brought elo-
quence to bear upon hard facts, and the
effect was very pleasing. He told of the
iniquities Of the tariff. He described the
ruin 1t would wreak upon the Cuban
planters. He asserted that every man
with a cane grove would be big loser
He talked to the point, and every now
and then Senior Place, his friend. nodded
his head affrmatively and said, ITO be
sure, to be sure" very like the revivalist
who slips in "amens' at every part of
his partners talk which he thinks needs
punctuating.
And after Senior Mendoza had concluded
his remarks, Senior Place supplemented
them with some of his own. They were
wellchosen words. though they were not
few. Flushed and happy, Senior Place sank
down after his effort. He shook hands
with Senior Mendoza. Senior Mendoza
shook hands with him. 1t was a highly
satisfactory occasion.
Then up spoke ono Samuel Matthews
Robertson. member OF Congress from the
sovereign State OF Louisiana. 1T will
hardly be news to you that Louisiana is
a sugar producing State. Nevertheless,
this is the fact. Certain facts will bear
repetition, even emphasis.
Well" said Mr.. Congressman Robert
son, I'VE have heard the representatives