davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
Tnexpert.
(PhiladeIphia Times.l


John ]. Keirans, the manager Of
keith's theatre; was annoyed recently
by young man who came in the train
of a team" Of popular performers en-
gagged in that resort. The performers,
while very good in their line, were
without special distinction, and were
billed" and programmed according
to Mr.. Keirans' judgment of their
worth and talent The young man, who
said he was their business manager
and adviser" stormed and fretted be-
cause they did not have the first place
in the advertising, and, when his noise
and protests failed to move Keirans,
Informed the latter he was totally ig-
norant of the principles Of the drama"
keirans almost collapsed at having the
song-and-dance turn Of the two per-
formers mentioned as drama and
told what he thought was story to
the point 1t was about a soldering
laborer Of section gang and his blus-
tsring, pOmpOHs foreman, a boss for
the day if it kills me- type. One aft
ernoon, when a change of base was
necessary in preparing new roadway,
The foreman missed the laborer. and
looking about. found him at the bot
tom OF an embankment.
Du- gam" he called ''Phwat be yez
dom Their rep
"O'im oilin' tn handcarl'' shouted
Dugan. grabbing an oil can
'Oiiin' the handear-r,' is it?" mock
ingly asked the foreman "WelI. thin.
Jist come up here an grab a pick
Phwat tn devil do yez know about
masheenery, anyway
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

to express his views on the subject OF
protection. That staggered the man
for a few moments, but finally he
pointed to a flag futtering in the breeze
and exclaimed:
DO you see dot flag? Dot vas your
brotectiOni IF you protect yourself,
You brOtect. yourself und if 1 protect
myself, brotect myself. Dot is nv
view on protection"
On the face of the returns Sessing-
haus was defeated, and his opponent
was given the certificate of election
Sessinghaus contested and the fight at
Washington was long one. He got a
favorable report and the night before
congress expired by limitation he was
sworn in. drew the salary for prac-
tically the full term, mileage and ali
the perquisites, and in addition was
allowed nearly $4,000 for expenses in
his contest Just after that congress
put its foot down on such expensive
contests, and now the limit of expenses
allowed is $4,000 to either contestant or
cOnteStee
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
oPENwoRK HOSIERY.
Caused a Row and Stopped Wedding
at the Last Moment.

his Honor Edward Markley, barber
Justice of the peace or Jersey CITY.
is saying unpleasant things about him
self for having spoiled a marriage he
was about 70 celebrate by a NAL
apropos remark about openwOrked
hosiery, thereby losing his fee. He de-
ciares that hereafter when he sees a
couple coming to be married he win
put gag in his mouth and perform
the ceremony in deaf and dumb Ian
guage
Terrence Sheehan, a bookbinder of
Newark, and Miss Margaret McDer-
mott, of Elizabeth, visited the Office
Of the justice on Monday with two
friends, q young man and girl. Mr..
Sheehan had called the day before and
arranged for the wedding, so when he
arrived on Monday the wise barber
knew he had not come to be shaved.
The justice took their pedigree and
then ordered the candidates for matri-
mony and their attendants to line up
before him.
The sudden call to face the ordeal SO
disconnected the maid of honor that
she stepped on the foot of the bride.
oh, you've united my shoestring,''
cried the bride; now, you Just get
down and tie it. It's UnIueky to be
married with your shoestrings united"
Miss McDermott placed her foot, en-
eased in a new Oxford tie, upoa the
round Of chair. and her girl friend
made fast the refractory shoe lace.
As the operation proceeded. some
what nervously, the justice, the bride
groom and the other man observed that
the bride wore openwork hosiery. The
justice allowed a smothered smoker TO
escape him. but, with rare presence
OF mind, and with a view of reliev-
ing any embarrassment, he said diplo-
matically:
You HTFow clergyman was recent
~ fired from his church because he
opposed openwork hosiery among his
aoek?"
Mr. Sheehan. who was also confused
and a little angered at the disclosure,
said gruff1y:
right"
Il think he hadn't much sense re-
Joined Miss McDermott. with the en-
thusiasm of her twenty years. Il wear
openwork hosiery and am not ashamed
OF it. either"
Il would rather my wife wouldn't
wear such things" said the bride
groom, who was out of his depth
4 shall wear any kind of hosiery I
like said the bride-to-be, her cheeks
flushing with anger.
"Oh, no." said the bridegroom: is
that the way you feel about it, Well
I would not marry q girl who would
wear such things. You can choose be
tween me and openwork stockings
-Tll not be dictated TO by you nor
any one else as to what I wear de-
clared Miss McDermott, and with that
she hurried out of the Office. through
the barber shop and into the street.
The bridegroom steadfastly declined
to follow her for a time, and when
he did give way to fear of losing her
she could not be found. Up to a late
hour last night the justice had seen
nothing more of the couple.
IT was trying to jolly things along, .
said the justice. and 1 made a mess
of it. Next time 1 viii wear green
goggles, I tell YOU
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

looked all about the room, and finally
let his eyes rest upon his bandaged
feet He looked at them long and
carefully. A puzzled frown slowly
gathered on his face. With a feeble
finger he pointed toward the foot of the
bed.
Those are not my feet" he said
MY feet had russell shoes on Them
g g 9
Brooklyn Eagle: Tommy sat way
back in church with his mann
ma. 1t was his first expert
ence. Everything was wonderful TO
him. BY and BY the collection was
taken, but imagine the surprise of Tom
ny's mother. when the usher passed
the plate, TO hear Tommy say:
mo thank you. I've got some money
of my own"
@ o 9
Philadelphia Ledger: Aunt Edith
And what do you think of your
little baby sister?
Little Elsie-Oh, I'm dreadfully dis
appointed in her.
Aunt Edith-Disappoint
Little Elsie-Xes; why, she doesn't
look bit more stylish than the baby
our washerwoman got last spring.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

for the prospector as well as for the
mining man Of means.
There are two grand geographical
divisions of the state of Idaho, so
marked that there is as yet no direcg
railroad connections between them
within the borders of the state, and il
is now necessary in order to reach
northern Idaho from the southern part
of the state to travel on the Short Line
to Huntington, Ore, thence to Pendle-
ton and on through a section of east
ern Washington to Colfax and thence
to Moscow. Or else a route from Po-
catello through a section Of Montana
and thence via Spokane. This natural
division of the state also marks the
division of the arid from the humid
region. The five northern counties are
in the humid belt and do not require
irrigation, excepting in a few places,
while on the other hand. irrigation is
practically an absolute necessity IN all
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

Hornet win be watched with the most
intense interest.
Discoveries of Coal.
Previous to 1902 coal has had no place
in the mineral output of the state of
Idaho. but late this year the Pollard
prospect in the Immediately vicinity
of Salmon City has come to the front
as producer of a good, clean, mer-
charitable quality of coal, and is sup
plying the local demand, some fifteen
or twenty tons daily. Discoveries Of
coal are also reported from Canyon,
Boise, Idaho and Ada counties, and it
is anticipated that from this year on
Idaho will begin to rank, perhaps in a
modest manner, with the coal produce
ing states of the Union.
There is a niekel-eobalt property be-
ing developed in Lemhi county, and re-
ports that oil has been struck in FIRE.
mont.
Taken all in all, Idaho presents one
of the most favorable fields in the world
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

lKashington Star.l

My Uncle Jim's elected Tt'n be uncorn-
mon strange
II the country isn't vastly benefited by
the change
He's in the legislature. an it's-wideIy I'M
deTstOod
That he's there to start reforms an do
the general public good
He's always IN the runnin'; run fur
office since his youth,
He never did deserve 10 lose a race. an
that's the truth,
The legislature amt the biggest place on
top o. ground
But goin' there is better than 5es simply
sittin' round.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
WITH THE LITTLE TOTS.
Times When Their Imaginations Run
Riot.

Chicago Post.)
Chicago Post; Small Ned, hear
ing a number of frogs in a
pond making hideous noise
exclaimed: My goodness, but the frog
gies must sleep awful sound"
why do you think sop asked his
cause they snOre so loud" replied
Ned.
Rocky Mountain News: Bessie,
aged 4, heard her mother tell
ing a neighbor that the baby had pneu-
monia, and, knowing that on the bu-
reau were two bottles, one containing
ammonia and the other camPhOr, got
the names mixed and told her small
brother the baby had camphOr- NO,
she amt rejOined the little fellow, who
had also heard what his mother said:
"She's got ammonia"
Chicago Post: Little Elsie was
faithful attendant at Sunday
school and had listened earnest
" when plans for coming Chris
cussed. her interest increasing to en-
thusiasm over the mysterious affair
when she learned that her auntie was
to attend as a delegate. Coming into
the library one day, auntie saw the lit
tie maid busily engaged in writing a
letter to a cousin with whom she kept
up a juvenile correspondence, accord
ing 10 Harper's Magazine. She serawled
industriousIy for a moment, then
stopped. There was a puzzled express
sion on her fat, ink stained face. as
she dangled her short legs and wrig
gled uncomfortably on her high perch
"Auntie." she said, ..how do you spell
devil ?'' ''Oh. Elsie." said her auntie.
Il am shocked. Why are you using
such a word as that in your letter?
Nice little girls never say such things"
1t was Els.e's turn to be shocked
Why, auntie," she cried. I'm only
telling her about the Christian and dew
il convention"
Youths Companion: Railroad ac-
cidents. so fruitful of tragic in
cidents, are also occasionally pro-
ductive of bits of humor, although
il is not often that the humor finds
place in the newspaper reports of the
accident
One amusing incident is reported by
a woman to whose care a young man
had been infrusted after he had been
badly hurt in a collision He was IN
conscious when ne was carried TO her
house. and did not open his eyes or
speak for some time.
His first conscious moments were evil
IDENTIFY full Of bewiIderment. He
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
His Idea 81 ..Brodection. :,
New York Commercials

Twenty years ago there ran for con-
gress IN one Of the St Louis districts
a man named Gustavus Sessinghaus. a
wealthy manufacturer of hour. Sess-
inghaus was a native German ana
spoke imperfect English. The cam
paign managers allowed him to make
but one speech in the campaign. That
was a suf1iciency. After announcing
to a couple Of thousand people in front
of a big beer saloon. where the mob
had been gulping at his expense, that
he was certain to be big man IN con-
gress and that he had no doubt Of his
election, he was besieged By the crowd
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

the southern counties. 1t is on account
of this difference in the two sections
that the grain crop Is the staple crop
of northern Idaho, while alfalfa and
other kinds of hay are the principal
crops Of southern Idaho. OF the grains
there are practically six bushels of
wheat raised to every two of oats and
one of barley. while the corn and rye
have but a small acreage. Wheat will
average some thirty-fve bushels to the
acre, while oats will go from fifty to
seventy and barley about forty.
Profits in Hay.
In some sections of the state, nota-
bly, the southwestern counties, there
are three crops Of alfalfa in a season.
while two crops are always counted
upon in all the remaining irrigated
portion of the state The yield will
run from three to six and more tons
per acre. AS alfalfa is a perennial
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

cylinder. ] can walk into a dump having
one of them the same as ! can open the
door of this room with your key
This fact was proved little later when
the confiding criminal drew a home
made key out of his pocket and worked
the lock. seemingly more easily than the
reporter. could operate his own key.
I am going to cut out wedding and go
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
crznznze hno@ux g

into soup. (Safe bIowing). The best you
get out of wedding is a couple OF doilafs
and / can see where l am losing money
clubbing with an old bunch Of junk such
as l have shown you.
Il want the long and dirty green
backs and will either get it or go 70 the
stir.( PenitentiaTy).
kindly thank Chief Armstrong for
turning us up and tell him 1 am going
away down east.
The accompanying cuts are exact repro
auctions from the bunch of keys carried
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

sider'' is thrust into the door and if the
Unsuspecting occupant has allowed ms
key TO remain in the door the proles-
sional instrument readily grasps the END
OF it and turns the tumbler of the door
as speedily from the outside as from the
The keys numbered and were
said to be the most effective in entering
stores having the locks mentioned NOS
confident. turn Off any ordinary cyl
inder lock.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

crop, requiring one sowing, and brings
in the market from IS to $40 per ton,
and some seasons even more than the
latter figure, it is easy TO see why il is
cultivated instead of grain. So general
Is the cultivation of hay to the exclu-
sion of grain in the irrigated region
that almost all the flour used in south
ern Idaho is brought in from either
Utah or Oregon. Potatoes are the only
other extensive farm product, exclu-
sive of fruits, which are more particu-
larly noticed later in this article. OF
course, the home market is supplied
with the other vegetables, but large
quantities are imported early in the
season from California.
Experiments with the sugar beet in
various parts Of southern Idaho have
proven highly satisfactory. and a COM
pany with a capital of 81 OO0. 900 was
organized in December to put in
sugar factory at BlackfOot, and an
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
Problems.

Crank l. Stanton in Atlanta Constitu
toni
Moses in de bulIrush
Mighty clost de sea:
Spose de tide he'd riz up.
Whar would Moses beg
Joshua in de battle,
Amt got light ter see;
SDose de sun been sleepy,
Whar would Joshua be?
Jonah in de big storm
Whar would Jonah be
Ef de big whale hadn't said:
Dis too much for me?'
Tarryfyin' problems
Des won't bresh aWayl
Hope we'll see eem palmer
" en- come de risin' day.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

by the confidential crook The KEYS
proper are intended to be used in oroI-
nary cases. but the scissor-like instrument
is supposed to be used when turning
The business end of this device has the
appearance Of a curling iron and differs
from that toilet article only in the fact
that both ends are followed. The "out-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
A Pessimistic view Of It.

cleveland Plain Dealer)
I notice that Mr.. Molineux wrote sew
eral plays while in JAIL
Did he? Wen. hope they are not
the sort of plays / think they are
What sort is that2
The sort that ought to keep q man in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
Only Fit For the Stage.
lChicago Tribune.l

t'I. am sorry to have to refuse this -
said the head of the publishing nOuse
1T would be too risky. There are sub
1eets that cant be dealt with in books -
They can on the stage, by Jovet'' re-
piled the author nercely. 'In make =
society drama of it,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
A. Total Loss.

tPhlladelphia Press.)
Merehant-Yes. I've lost my entire for
tune Our most trusted empioye robbed
US of enough to force my company into
bankruptcy.
Friend-But you surely saved some
thing. from the Wreck7
Merchant-No. We found the receiver
as bad as the thief
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
The Season.


AIR signs the gentle damsel. see the
bare limbs on the beech. Does not that
bring forcibly to ones mind the sorrowfuI
fact that summer has gomez How many
pleasant recollactiops of the summer sucn
a sight calls up. don't you think?'f
We'll. TO tell you the truth" replied the
candid youth, u have never been on the
beach in summer
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
Works Both Ways.
(ChicagO NeWs.)

N-lI1Ce5V NtWs-I
You can never tell what will turn up
in politics, observed the ward heller
Yes. and that isn't the worst of it
reJoined the ex-candidate- You can
never tell who viii be turned down"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28

= - = - = = : - : = ~ +++++++++*++ =.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-28
Thunder Mountain

No description of the mineral re-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-02-20
HAD A TUSSLE WITH FIRE.
Mrs. Ungar burned While Fighting
Fire i'm Her Home.

In extinguishing a blaze in her bed
room at Ill Charlton street, west, yes
terday, the wife of Patrolman Barney
Ungar was painfully burned ON the left
hand. Despite the fact that she was
suffering considerable pain, Mrs Ungar
fought the flames until she had con-
quered them.
Mrs. Ungar had been to see a sick
friend, and upon her return home sent
her son upstairs for something. When
the boy opened the bedroom door he
was blinded with smoke and his cries
attracted the attention of his mother.
Mrs. Ungar saw at once that there was
fire. and felt her way through the
smoke to lounge upon which some
clothes We're piled. She threw the
clothing to the floor and the flames shot
up, burning her hand.
The fire was smothered with a
blanket and finally feXtinguished with
several pitchers of water. Much of the
clothing was completely burned and
the loss was no trife. Fortunately
for the patrolman the damage is COW
cred by insurance. There had been no
fire in the room and Mr.. Ungar is not
quite certain how the fire started. 1t
is presumed to have been due to the
carelessness of a servant who had
been in the room a short while before
Mrs. Ungar's burns were dressed by
her husband under directions from
Dr. E. s. Osborne
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-02-20
TWO FINE PAINTINGS.
To BE Unveiled at the TeIfair Acad-
envy of Arts and Sciences To-day.

To BE Unveiled at the TeIfair Acad-
envy of Arts and Sciences To-day.
La Parabola" or the Bridge of Life.
by laurent, a celebrated Venetian
painter, which was recently secured
for the Telfair Academy of Arts and
Sciences by Director Carl l.. Brandt,
will be unveiled to-day at noon and at
the same time Director Brandt will also
unveil his painting of the Sphinx and
the great Pyramid at Gizeh.
At II o'cock Director Brandt will
make a few Introductory remarks and
will unveil La Parabola," after which
he will read a free translation of Lau-
rentis etter relative to the picture,
which the artist wrote atthe request of
Mr.. Brandt He will also refer to the
fact that a critic in a recent issue of
an English art journal has a sympa-
thetic and appreciative article on Lau-
remit and his work and mentions La
Parabola" as being the picture of the
year when on exhibition in Venice.
Mr.. Brandt has recently had many
improvements made to the Telfair
Academy. Among them ne has had
the floors vanished so that they pre-
sent a decided improvement over their
former appearance. In all European
galleries and similar buildings, said
Mr.. Brandt, the floors are always kept
in the most perfect order and this Is
done by having each visitor to the
place put on felt slippers before going
on the highly polished floors, thus pre-
venting both a possible slip on the
part of the person, and any damage to
the floor form the street shoes.
This method of protecting the flooor
of the Academy Mr.. Brandt will in
troduce here, inaugurating il after to-
day. He expects. of course. that the
crowd that will visit the gallery at the
unveiling will damage the floors more
or less, but this damage will be re-
paired Immediately. and then the Slip
per custom will be introduced.
Mr.. Brandt said yesterday that he
would be pleased to have all lovers OF
art who are not members of the Acad-
envy or have friends that are and from
whom they can secure invitations, 20
cali either at the Academy or at the
Georgia Historical Society and secure
invitations TO the unwilling.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-02-20
ARE URGED TO REGISTER.
business Meeting of the South Side
Club for That Purpose.


Club for That Purpose.
Plans for pushing the registration
were discussed at a meeting of the
south Side Club last night in Kaisers
Hall. The meeting did not last a great
while and only three speeches were
made
President John Glatigny presided and
Mr.. r. NJ. Martin was made secretary.
The president stated that the object of
the meeting was to receive applica-
tons for membership. and to urge the
registration of voters. Forty-seven
applications for membership in the
club were received and the signers
were elected. Mr. Glatigny said that
the club expects to have membership
or 400 in very short while and that it
had started with fifty-six members.
Vice President A. B. Moore thanked
the club for having elected him as
one of its officers and urged the men,
bers to see to it that all of their friends
are registered. He said that it is by
far too early in the campaign to make
speeches and that hard work on the
registration is what is wanted at this
TIME. Mr. Moore tried to impress upon
those present that much depends al
WAYS on the way in which the regis
tration is looked after.
Col. Waring Russell had a few pleas
ant words TO say to the members of the
cIuD' ana also dwelt upon the necessity
OF registering. He congratulated the
members upon the showing made thus
far IN the campaign. and declared that
the club had started with bright pros
poets. He said that there is nothing to
rear Irom the new organization, whose
aNowed purpose is to scalp the admins
tration Col Russell declared that the
South Side Club, at it's present rate of
growth, will by itself almost be able to
handle the Union Club. The speaker
Endorsed the present administration
South Side.
During the meeting a resolution was
adopted for the naming of a committee
Oh three whose duty it shall be to- ex-
tehd invitations to residents of the
southern section of the city to Join the
club and attend future meetings. Let
tiers will be written to those who are
believed to be in harmony with the ad-
minlstration, and they win be invited
TO ,I take part in the affairs Of the or
The Forest City Independent Club.
another administration organization.
made up of residents of the Fourth
district, will hold a meeting at Citizens
Club headquarters, on Broughton
street, this evening. The work to be
done in the Fourth district will be laid
out and discussed by the members of
the club and plans for the coming
campaigns will be gone over.
While none of the political organi-
cations has yet taken up the ques-
ton of candidates for the various
county offices, prospective candidates
are still being talked of. 1t was re-
ported yesterday that P. H Gearon,
one of the presidents of the
Union Club, will oppose ]. J. Horrigon
for sheriff of the City Court 1t it
not at all likely that either faction will
do any thing towards the selection of
candidates until shortly before the
time for holding the primary.