davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The bee., 1902-02-06


dent the president promptly replied,
"As to that don't pretend to be well
versed in history. and therefore | re-
fer you to Seward for details, but all
that | recolect of the precedent you
cite is that Charles lost his head in the
end" That was answering q fool ac-
cording to his folly and is the best in
stance of apt repartee on record.
Now, the essence of the first of these
River Queen jokes was pure fun and
nothing else. while the essence of the
last one was strictly utilitarian-was
absolutely demanded by the situation.
II put Hunter and his proposition out
of the ring. put him to sleep" to use
modern slang. 1t ended the Confeder-
ates' function completely. But he some
times went further in vanqulshing an
opposition than the bounds of good hu-
NOR required. Thus. when a deputa-
ton of rich men from New York wait
ed on the president in dark hour of
the nations tribulation, begging for n
gunboat to protect New York harbor,
he manifested the utmost impatience
and almost paralyzed them with this
reply. II am straining every nerve to
meet the requirements Of the army and
navy at the front. and l have no gun
boat TO give you: but II | was half as
rich as you half dozen men are and rs
scared as you pretend to be would
furnish the gunboat myself instead of
begging the government for what 1t
amt got 10 spare"
He ;ery iG.rly made either himself
or any one else a butt for a joke. and
certainly never in malice. His humor
was usually lmpersonal. Once. how
ever. al City Point little discussion
arose as to what religion Halleck.
think. professcd. II think he's an Epis-
copaliGn." said Lincoln, because he
swears Just like Seward does, and Sew
ard Is IN Eplscopallan."
More in unison with his methods
was his story to illustrate why he did
not i,ll certain vacancies. thus: boy
was rlGking Il church ont of mud
IIa,i,i get it substantially completed.
hr poe. :.Sl;td why he didn't also make
a SCR for II "Kase hain't
gol -. .'ud lett" WAS the Obvious an
swrr
IL u similar ,ein. when II dash OF the
enrny cost the government tlvee brig
The bee., 1902-02-06
LINCOLN and
DOUGLAS
Incidents of the Famous Political
Campaign Debate of 1858.
By CHARLES p. BUTTON.

By CHARLES II. BUIICN.
copyright. 1902. by Hamilton Muskl
GPHE rival senatorial candidates.
Lincoln and Douglas, did not
travel in company, but occasion
u ally met on the way bound for
the same destination. Once. each with
q large following myself among them
in the Douglas crowd, they steamed
down the Mississippi on a little stern
wheeler belonging on White river.
AS we went down stream Mr.. Lin
coin took his stand in the bow of the
boat, seeming to look intently ahead.
though from the speculation in his eye
/ saw he was thinking deeply. He did
not rouse until some one called out,
Say, Mr.. Lincoln, doesn't this remind
you of old times?" He smiled remi-
niscently and nodded, saying. with sly
look at Judge Douglas: Eyes. 1t was on
this river learned how to keep from
striking snags." We understood that
he meant the argumentatlve pitfalls
Douglas had so often set for him.
The debate was wearing, all allevia-
tions of chance and change and per-
sonal encounters to the contrary not
withstanding. The debaters themselves
felt it-more, think, than any of their
immediate followers. On one notable
occasion, when it fell to Douglas lot
to close, / saw Mr.. Lincoln during the
last speech slip almost unnoticed from
the platform. met him at the steps.
Douglas had just said something
which caught the crowd and set it yell
ing it's loudest. "rhis seems to be
something of Douglas crowd" Mr..
Lincoln said as he saw me. I'm
going to steal of for little rest. as ]
am far from feeling we'll"
"Let me go w.th you" ] answered.
The bee., 1902-02-06

n nR. LINCOLN'S career exem-
I'M IN plifies the truth and aptness
lAUU of the poetical trope that
fHWI man is n pendulum be-
LIZ tween q smile and n tear"
he at one moment being
given over to the abandon and license
Of unrestrained and exuberant humor
and Immediately thereafter Icing
plunged into the Zimmerman darkness
of the most dense and impenetrnble
melancholy. What he felt and expert
enced during the regnancy of the latter
condition will never be known or even
intelligently conjectured. His somber
mood was the voiceless tomb of eX-
preston and condolences, but he shared
the zest and exhilaration of his excur-
sions to the shrine of ITALIA or the
fame of Joe Miller with all mankind.
So far as dignity and the fitness Of
things are concerned, the outside world
might consider that he mixed jokes and
business too intimately. 1t certainly
does not appear fitting that he should
Introduce the first reading of the eman-
" GUILTY.
with Artemus Wards story of a high
handed outrage at Utica" but we can't
know to what extent the strain of for
mulatlng so mighty an event was neu-
trahzed by a brief sojourn in the
realms of nonsense.
Equally doubtful, If true, was the
propriety of his alleged response to
Lord Lyons upon the diplomatic en-
counter to announce the incident Of
international import-the marriage of
the Prince Of Wales. TO the formal
speech OF the ambassador announcing
the august event the great president is
reported to have replied to the bache-
Tor minister. lord Lyons, go thou
and do likewise" If such an incident
happened, it is not gsrnered except by
the left hand of history, but it is
strictly Lincolnian and might well
have happened anyway. Great and sol
emn occasions did not repress or dead
en- his propensity to joke. Thus at the
Hampton Roads conference, as he and
Seward entered at one end of the small
cabin of the steamer River Queen, he
saw the diminutive Stephens at the
other end in the act of emerging from
The bee., 1902-02-06
E3HE usual and ordinary belief is

=
that the career of the ulti-
mately successful man Is an
uninterrupted and unbroken
series of current successes
from zero to affiuence OF re-
nown. In practice, however, 1t ap-
pears that the progress of the success
full and unsuccessful alike is strewn
with current misfortunes, humillations,
checks and disasters, and that the ad-
venturer who shall have attained the
goal of ultimate defeat may neverthe-
less have been highly favored of for
tune in life's journey, while the laurel
ed victor may have trodden the wine
press of humiliation and defeat all of
his days but the last.
Mr.. LincOlns career as n business
man may be thus summarized: After
practicing law and living in the most
frugal and economical manner for a
quarter of a century, being meantime
his own hostler and errand boy and at
tending to his own woodpile, cowyard
and pigpen himself, he had accumu-
lated $4,000 worth of property when
he was elected as president of the Unit
ed States, and having consumed his
capital for current uses in living during
the months preceding the Inauguration
he was compelled to borrow every cent
Of money which he had in his pocket
when he started to Washington and
which he repaid out Of the earliest re-
ceipts from the presidential salary.
On Jan. 5, 1859. the day of Douglas
last election to the United States SEN
ate by the Illinois legislature, was
The bee., 1902-02-06
THE long procession.

his solitary "The long procession
friend, each of them being over six
feet tall. But there was no meeting.
The town. being composed chiefly OF
Kentuckians, rejected his political ide-
ais and by preconcert Systematically
and unitedly kept away.
l will now afford n glimpse at the
diverse face of the medal. Within q
few days after the Inauguration OF
March 4, 1860, l sat with the great
president and n young friend in front
of the fireplace, in which was n
hearth fire, in the executive office at
Washington. l had called to ask that
he give our mutual young friend the
secretaryship to sign land patents.
Strange to relate, he had been in office
but n few days and yet he appeared
quite as miserable and gloomy as on
the 9th of January, 1859, heretofore
narrated. He had been unreasonably
found fault with by the press and
politicians for the alleged improper
bestowment of some early appoint
ments and his sensitive nature was
stirred to its profoundest depths. 1t
was singular that so virile and cour-
agcous n nature in grave matters
should have been so representative
about comparative tribes. He conclud-
cd our Interview in these identical
words: ut Is an awful thing to say
but wish was back home in peace
u:id Yome one else was here In my
Mace"
The bee., 1902-02-06

IncSe are Sdu
times and seem out of joint. All seems
dead-dead-deadl But the age is not
dead. 1t lives as sure as our Maker
lives. Under all this seeming want of
life and motion the world does move,
nevertheless. Be hopeful, and now let
us adjourn to the people,"
And thus, as has Ofttimes been dem
onstrated in history, the aphorism that
"a prophet is not without honor but
in his own country and among his own
kin and in his own house" was again
verified in this case, for this man,
whom in June, 1856, his own neigh
bors rejected. four years later the SOW
ereign people of the nation made the
headstone Of the corner.
This subject may be further illus
trated by an incident which occurred
during that same year while the pOiit-
ical canvass was at white heat. A
jealous Republican in Monticello, in
Piatt county, wrote Lincoln several
earnest invitations to come there and
speak, assuring him of a good turnout.
Lincoln, after addressing very large
meeting at Bloomington, went to Mon
ticello to fulfill the ardent hopes Of his
correspondent. Reaching town, he
sought out the residence Of his enthu-
siastlc correspondent, where he foqnd'
him working with his drawbnife at a
large and unwieldy flagpole, while bis
wife was industrlously getting dinner
for their distinguished guest. After
dinner Lincoln and his improvised
The bee., 1902-02-06

man so radi- erianu IVY
cally and thoroughly depressed, so
completely stepped in the bitter wa
tiers of hopeless despair. The sur
roundings, even, were eloquent of
fat, prosaic failure. found him ut
terly alone and sitting in an old rock
ing chair doing absolutely nothing but
brooding over his griefs and political
discontinue. He was in his office, one
of the most neglected and ungarnished
offices in the state.
My feelings were in unison with his,
and our conversation was as cherries
and dismal as the somber and melan-
choly surroundings, and yet in twenty
two months from that dOleful and
gloomy day this recipient of fortunes
frowns had sounded the highest note
in the gamut of ostensibre and appar-
ent success, for ]. 1851, $40 citizens. en-
bracing the elite of the nation, had
elected him to be the ruler of 100000
900 people.
And his early career as a politician
may be thus exhibited: On April 81,
1882, he was elected to his first office
that of captain of company in the
Black Hawk war. In 1888 he ran for
the legislature and was defeated, but
he was elected currently thereafter for
four successive legislative terms. In
1884 he was appointed by President
Jackson as postmaster of the incon-
siderable hamlet of New Salem and
by John Calhoun to the inconsequen-
tial position of deputy surveyor Of
Sangamon county. He was an unsuc-
cessful competitor for a nomination for
congress in 1S44-if not also before
The bee., 1902-02-06

alone with Mr..
Lincoln from 2
o'clock till late
bedtime, and 1
feel authorized
to say that 20
m an IN the
state was so
gloomy, defect
ed and dispirit-
ed and no man
so surely and
heartily deem
ed his life to
have been an
abject and lam
entable failure
as he then con-
sidered his to
have been. 1
never saw any
The bee., 1902-02-06
BY n. c. WHITNEY
Copyright. 1902, by II. c. whitney.


quite an expense engaged a band or
music, rang the bells and employed al
the means which enthusiasm and enter
prise could suggest in order to attract
q large audience, including the then
primitive practice Of blowing a horn.
The hall of the house of representatives
was lit up to its full capacity. and no
effort was omitted to insure success in
that enterprise. But the evening adj
vanced, and up to late hour but one
man came except Lincoln and his part
ner, the ever faithful Herndon. LIN
The bee., 1902-02-06
HOW Lincoln Paid a Board Bill.

While Mr.. Lincoln was studying law
at Petersburg, ILL.,, he and a friend
named Hanks, also a law student,
boarded at Alfred Gordon's house. He
was an old friend of the Lincoln fam
lily, and as he did not charge the young
men anything for board they under
took to make rails enough for his two
farms
The bee., 1902-02-06

lost my apple overheard" Trivial mat
tiers amused him equally with those Of
greater stamina. Along experience with
wit and badinage had not made callous
or blunted his sense of the ludicrous.
Thus at the Bloomington convention
he had occasion to introduce the court
ly, polite, exquisite Browning to the
coarse, irreverent Wentworth. "Pve
heard much of you" began the prig.
I'D much against me, l reckon!"
blurted out the boor. Lincoln was
wont to laugh over this very often.
Many of his stories were comparisons
Of the situation in hand with some
thing that happened down in-some-
where. That's like the man dOUD in
Indiana" was a frequent Introduction.
Thus, when after long interval of 81
lence he received news not altogether
favorable from Burnside, beleaguered
at Knoxville. he neither lamented at
the untoward aspect of the news nor
enthused at getting news at all. but
simply said, That's like Sallie Ward.
who had thirteen children, that were
accustomed TO stray out into the woods,
from the depths of which would occa-
sionaIly float an infantile cry of disas-
ter, when Sallie would exclaim, Thank
heaven. there's one of my children
what amt dead YETI"
In order to illustrate the moral I'M
cleanliness of certain unsavory politi-
clans he was reminded of "feller"
who applied to a physician for advice
in and about a cutaneous disease. He
needed a very simple remedy, so pre-
scrlption was given him somewhat
thus "R. Sapon. CASTLE OF. s. Aqua
purp gal. r. Mlsce. Apply to all
parts of the body with a sponge and
wipe dry with a towel" THAT simply
means washing mew exclaimed the
dirty sufferer. at certainly is open to
that objection" replied the physician.
In n similar vein be took the starch
out of a vainglorious applicant for a
minor office who, in order to magnify
his importance. hove in quite unneces-
sarily the suggestion that he sprang
from one of the leading families Of
Vermont Never mind" said the TO-
cose president; "that won't be very
much against you"
So In order TO illustrate the well
known aphorlsm that the remedy pro-
The bee., 1902-02-06

humor, Carlyle
aptly says that "the essence of humor
is sensibility-warm, tender fellow feel
ing, with all forms of existence.
Unless seasoned and purified by humor
sensibility will readily corrupt
into disease, falsehood or senti-
mentality"
And Mr.. Lincoln's penchant for hui
NOR was not an inane diversion, but
was the fringe and passementerie of a
great crisis in government.
The bee., 1902-02-06

Union men for
forage, etc, TAX
en- by the army
reminded him Of
Captain Jack
Chase, who used
TO pilot a small
boat through
the rapids of the
Illinois river.
While in the
very midst Of
the boiling cur
rent a small boy
tugged at the
pilots cOattail
and shouted,
"Cap'n, stop de
NAk g. Tfw~n
The bee., 1902-02-06
LincnIn.n Annenrnncc.

Lincoln was rs unusual in personal
appearance rs in character He was
muscular In frame. q feet 4 inches tall
aud weighed about $50 pounds. His
hair was black and luXuriant, eyes
irown, nose long and mouth large.
The bee., 1902-02-06

but brilliant expedient struck him. He
then placed his young son in the hogs
head, where his height just served to
keep the recalcitrant heading in place.
when he adjusted the head properly,
and the experiment seemed to be sue
cess till the imprisoned hoy yelled. Let
me out of here!'
Once he came I'm official contact with
Judge Baldwin, the author of tho hui
The bee., 1902-02-06

and in the year
1916 he was both
nomina ted for
and elected TO u
seat in congress.
On May 20.
1856. Mr.. Lin
coin made his
renowned speech
beforetheBloon'
ington cOnven-
ton. known to
a high fame as
the "lost speech"
which was the
highest Oratorlc-
al triumph that
had been eXhib-
tied in the po-
litical arena in
The bee., 1902-02-06

says it depends
entirely on the
manner of its
II n r ra tion,
while wit de-
ponds on the
essence of the
matter. A II d
this distinction
is not pedantic
as applied to
LincOl n, for
even his stories
need the inspi-
ration of his
Il C t o II t O
achieve their
browning mer-
it, and, as to
49,. 90
The bee., 1902-02-06

a huge overcoat.
Said he soto
vOce to Seward.
did you ever
see such a little
nubbin in such
a big shuck 2"
So. too. during
the progress of
t hat famOu
con fere n ce,
when r. NJ. T.
Hunter urged
the president to
treat with the
Confed erates,
citing the exam
ple of Charles
The bee., 1902-02-06

coin, somewhat
amused and quite
chagrined, made
a brief speech,
thus: Gentle
men, this meet
ing is larger than
l knew it would
be. / knew that
Herndon and my
self would come.
but 1 did not
know that any
one else would be
here, and yet an
other has come
The bee., 1902-02-06

story, story, story, and the country
going to hi! II amt a mile from hi
this minute!' Just the distance TO
the capitol" said the amused president
as the irate senator rushed out, trying
to put his hat on the floor and his cane
on his head.
AS to the form of humOr, Mark Twain
in his essay on "How to Tell Story"
The bee., 1902-02-06

posed by the
situation was
worse than the
exigency it
was proposed
to cure. he was
re minded of
the man down
in Danville
who had occa-
sion to head up
a hogshead. but
did not clearly
discern how to
keep the head
in sition
while he tight
ened the slaves
by driving the
hnnnc dawn
The bee., 1902-02-06

that date II placed him on the high
est pinnacle Of fame as an impassioned
and effective orator. Three days there
after he and Herndon. his law part
ner deemed it proper to ratify the pro
ceedings of the convention at which
such a marvel of political oratory had
been achieved. and accordingly at
Springfield, Iincolns own home. Hern-
don got out huge posters and at
The bee., 1902-02-06

host started for
the grove which
was to be the
scene of the meet
ing, their way
leading through
the village. The
man was almost
staggering under
the weight of the
flag and its staff,
and Lincoln did
not realize the
righteousness Of
the situation I'M
til he heard some
Of the town peo-
pie commenting
upon the "long
procession" it be-
ing Lincoln and
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1902-12-05
STARVATION IN SWEDEN.
Famine Spreading Throughout th'
Northern Districts. Il. 5.ss 81 s. II

: H"+k
Famine Spreading Throughout the
Northern Districts. sss@.s.$ 5 II.
Stockholm, Dec. 1.-Reports re-
ceived here state that the famine is
spreading throughout the extreme
north of the country.
Seventy thousand people are>on the
verge of starvation. s...s ..
Heavy and pr0tracted rainfalls have
inundated the fields and meadows and
flooded many houses. Much of the live
stock has been isolated, on the hills,
which are barren Of pasture, and is
likely to perish In numerous lOcali-
ties the inhabitants are killing their
focks and herds and even their mich
cows or selling them at ruinous prices.
Cows bring only IS and sheep so cents.
Even in districts where the famine
has been comparatively slight. the saw
ings of the people, which are derived
chiefly from stock raising, are general
~ exhausted. Birch bark and seed
grain ground together is the common
article of diet. 1t is almost impossible
for the farmers to get work, and they
cannot mortgage their farms, which
the floods have temporarily rendered
worthless. In. certain districts the
outlook is exceedingly gloomy. The
people will have to depend on very
light crops-:less than half the previous
minimum-of extremely poor quality.
These distressing conditions are to
be found throughout the whole stretch
OF country between the 6Ist and 9th
degrees of north latitude. and from
the Gulf of BOthnia and the Russian
border far into the interior. .
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1902-12-05
Saturday, Nov. 90.

An American chamber of commerce
will be organized in Berlin on Dec. 4,
by American business men.
Harvey Logan, the alleged Montana
train robber, has been given ten SEN
fences aggregating 1870 years.
Nelson Augustine Moore, the veter-
an landscape painter, died at his home
in Kensington, Me-, Sunday from apo.
plexy. He was horn in 1859. ;:
Chicago is to have hospital where.
in congenital hip dislocation and other
deformitfes will be treated according
to Prof. Adolf Lorenz's methods.
Rev. S. l.. Hamilton, a leading mem
Der of the Methodist conference and
long connected with the University OF
Califor- :" is dead of apoplexy at his
home Angeles.
A portrait Of President Lincoln will
be placed in the Mississippi hall OF
fame. The picture was furnished by
Robert T. Lincoln of Chicago, in re-
Spouse to a request, and will be placed
alongside that of Robert r. Lee.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1902-12-05
SENIOR coNcHA LET OUT.
Colombian Minister at Washington
Recalled.

Recalled.
Washington, Dec. 2.-Senor Concha
has been relieved as minister for
Colombia by orders from Bogota and
it IS believed that Dr. Thomas Herran,
the present secretary of legation here.
will be accredited as minister to sue
coed Senior Concha in the course OF a
few days. Meanwhile Dr. Herran has
been clothed by his government with
full authority to prosecute the nego-
tiations looking to a canal treaty with
considerably enlarged powers.
Minister Concha, having stood fast
against several strong representations
from his own government favoring a
treaty, the latter decided to place the
further negotiations in the hands OF
DR.. Herran. It is, of course, assumed
from this change. that the chances Of
the treaty have. been bettered.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1902-12-05
CHICAGO Union Stock Yards.

Chicago. Dec. 1.-Catt]e-Good to
prime steers, $5.75@725; poor to me.
dunn, $3OO@57 rs; stockers and feed.
81: 4oG475: Texas steers, ;s.oo@4.25.
Hogs-Mixed and butchers, 5000
$780,. good to choice heavy, 5000
645; rough heavy, 35.70@6.10; light,
IS. 65@6.10; bulk Of sales, $6.00@6.20.
Sbeep-Good to choice, $3.50@4.00;
lambs, $3.50@b26.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1902-12-05
Friday. Nov. 28.

A wreck on the Pennsylvania road
near Indianapolis resulted in the death
of the engineer and fireman.
The dowager empress has decided
to appoint Prince Chen to be the prin.
cipal representative of China at the st.
Louis exposition. ~
Frau Krupp has given $750,0O0 to
establish benefit fund for the work
men Of Essen. Prussia, in memory of
her late husband.
The new Lutheran hospital was ded.
icated at La Crosse, Wis, Thursday
with impressive ceremonies. Bishop
Won Rhoe offlciated.
Lord Reay, chairman of the London
school board since 1897 and president
of the institute of international law,
has been appointed first president OF
the British academy.
Heber R. Bishop, retired merchant
and banker and a director in the Chi.
cago, Rock Island and Pacific Railroad
company, IS critically ill in New York
city. '.':.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1902-12-05
NEWS .Gt,NDENS ATIONS.
a;vvednesday,;sN ov.s26.

.-. E,sE s-Sgss II
Alfred Cluysenaar, the Belgian artist,
is dead at the age of sixty-ive.
Brigadier General Charles A.. Hood
has been retired at his own request. /
The Siamese troops have completely
routed the Northern rebels and the
country is growing quieter.
WI Ting Fang, former Chinese min
lister, sailed for China Tuesday on the
steamship Hong Kong Maru. >
Charles Herdlaski, United States
consul in Peru, has rendered his resig
nation and it has been. accepted. :
All entries of public lands in Cali
fornia, Washington and Oregon are
held up because of alleged wholesale
frauds. ..,. -
The appointment is announced oi
Major Otto Won Etzele of the general
staff to be military attache of Germany
at Washington. !.
Captain A. P. Mordaunt, who. fl
credited with having made the first
discovery of pay gold at Nome, is dead
at San Francisco. ~'*- =.