Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1902-10-02
JESTS OF ROOSEVELT.
Incidents That Illustrate the
Presidents Sense of Eumor.
GRANTED REQUBsTINNoVEL WAY

GRANTED REQUBsTINNOVE WAY
why He Gave the Vixen, a War Ves-
sci, It's Name-Hoyv He Trihed With
the Thirst of Some High Navy OFF,
c~ers-Case of the Unfortunate Mr..
Blank.
President Roosevelt possesses a char
acteristlc sense of humor. It is vigor-
GUS and sometimes almost grOtesque,
says the Baltimore Sun. When he was
assistant secretary of the navy, during
the preparation for the Spanish war
the government was buying a number
OF yachts to be converted into torpedo
boats, dispatch boats, scouts, etc. Con-
siderable intimacy existed between the
family of President Roosevelt and that
of one of the officers of the navy in the
department. The wife of his officer
got a fancy that she would like to
have one of these beautiful little boats
bear her name. There is a prejudice
In the navy against giving a woman's
name to a war vessel of any type. 1t
is believed to be ~unlucky. But the Off
Ger, who found it easier to face official
prejudice han to resist the importuni-
ties of his better half, mad the re-
quest Of MI. Roosevelt.
The assistant secretary Of the navy
hesitated.
cit won't do" he said. SCI would
like to crafty our wife, but a wo-
mans name won't do"
Then a thought occurred to him, and
he relented. Il will fix it," he said.
s~Tell your wife it will be all right"
The next day the boat was named
b Vixen.
81 am going to put you in command
of her." said Mr.. Roosevelt when he
announced the NAME, but he didn't.
The sun was over the fo'yard, and ev-
cry old officer was licking his lips. The
squadron had been out for two days at
target practice, n on that day the
chief officers of the several ships had
been invited on board the flagship,
where they were to be entertained by
Theodore Roosevelt, assistant secreta-
~ of the navy. The guests and Mr..
Roosevelt talked about the feats OF
gunnery and speculated upon how such
&444 oAAA q SAOL WIN "a N4A&N
had the target been a Spanish ship. All
save Mr.. Roosevelt had begun to weary
of this topic. They found it dry, and
conversation had begun to lag by the
time luncheon was announced. Men
who had been long on salt water were
conscious of something lacking in the
entertainment. For some time there
had been a clearing of threats and sig
Difcant exchange of glances. Mr..
RooSevelt's eyes, following those of his
guests, caught the angle of the sun to
the fo'yard.
"SWill you step into the cabin and
have some tea?" he said, with an ex-
preston which might be significant Of
most anything, but which received but
one Interpretation by those who felt
the salt spray in their throats. The
movement toward the cabin was spon-
taneous. There, in the center of a great
table, rested a punch bowl of magn1f-
cent proportions filed nearly to the
brim with a liquid a shade deeper than
amber Of the richest hue. In its center
foated an island Of ice. Sprays Of mint
were scattered at it's base and extend
ed their slender leaves over it's brim,
while pieces of lemon and other fruit
foated on the surface of the cool and
tempting food. A generous ladle was
dipped into it's mysterious depths and
glasses were marshaled around.
The old commodore, with the color Of
the sun upon his fac III the dryness
Of the desert-in his throat, turned ca
gerly toward this oasis. He stirred the
ladle lovingly in the bowl, while others
gathered about him. He held his glass,
filed to the brim, between his eye and
the sunlight that came With a burning
glow through the cabin window, and
the clatter and clink of glasses sounded
through the cabin as each officer filled
to the occasion. With an air of con-
tentment and anticipated joy he
brought the glass to his lips. Then. as
all lifted their glasses to follow his ex-
ample, a look of horror passed over his
face. his hand trembled. and the glass
almost fell to the table.
BE ID If it amt tear he gasped.
Shortly after Mr.. Roosevelt entered
the White House a politician called
upon him with reference to appoint
ments. After the preliminary express
sions Of high esteem, unbounded admit
ration and eternal loyalty the politi-
clan began to disclose his business.
"I want to speak to you about Mr..
Blank, who holds a small Office down
IN my district
The politician didn't finish his SEM
tence.
n@"rWhhdtT' exclaimed Roosevelt, inter-
f1pting him els that Internal scoun-
drel still IN that place? I had some
knowledge of him when l was civil
service commissioner"
The politician acknowledged that Mr..
Blank was still there and then turned
the subject.
MuItipIex T~e1eEraphy.