Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-09-04
MR.. DOOLEY ON FOUR
REPRESENTATIVES ABROAD
Copyright. 1902 by Robert Howard Russen)
BY r. p. dunno.

We ARE addhressin',' I says, Martin
Dooley, Ministher Plenipootoochinary
an Ambassadure ExthrOordin'r iv tn
United States iv America, County iv
Cook. s. s. huroor says I, pullin' lit
tie American flag firm me vest pocket
an wavin II over me head. Great
Hivins, says tn Gear. signin' tn
ordher with thremblin' hands an 1
hurry off to tn dungeon an release
Eben Perkins an he gives me a gOOld
watch an HIS good-lookin' wife throws
her arms around me neck an calls
me their presarver. Twas wan iv tn
Dhreams Nv me youth. I'm oldher
now.
Centrally whin We see in tn pa-a-
pers that a mans been appinted an
ambassadure We know ii ought to
r-read that his wife has been appinted
ambassadhress. His wife wants him
to lave tn country an tn country
is resigned an tn place he's goin' to
don't raise no objections. Whin he
reads In tn pa-aper all tn things he's
called he begins to think tn job is
almost as high as a place in tn Gus
tom House. an tn good woman sees
hersilf an tn Queen rompin' together
an maybe she won't give tn cold
eye to tn wife iv tn rich undertaken
up tn sthreet Whin she comes to
Boodypest an sees her an tn rile
family rowlin' by in tn rifle coach
dhrawn be camels. Tn ambassadure
lands at tn coort where he's gOin' to
avinge tn insults to his native land
FIR four years an tn sicFety Nv tn
legation, who used to be a good tennis
player befure he lost his mind meets
him at tn deepo an hurries him into
a closed hack. What's this FRI says
tn ambassadure who's had tn Coat
y ~ Nnn TarCaxv pafnfad tn
sOles iv his boots an would like TO
put thin out tn window. Why am 1
threated like a pTis'ner?' he says.
HUSH says Alonzo tn first sicrety.
'Ye can't be seen until we've been
GAVIN over be tn tailor he says. If
annywan got onto that blue Prince Al
bert it'd be We TO tn Basteel.' he says.
III take We home an keep We locked
up till tn harness maker has got
through with ye he says. But, says
tn ambassadure, 'Yhin do I begin tn
important jooties If me exalted sta
tion?' he says. Thank Hivin, says
tn Sicrety iv Legation, there amt a
BAH FIR week he says. Please keep
ye'er face away firm tn window an
do throw away that pocket comb
he says.
''Th' first sierety has tn divvles
own time FIR a week or two. Ivry
ne SplllOS IN ldcnin IN am
bassadure an MS lady tn two sthep
an tn wurruds Nv tn country indi-
catin' How d. We dO?' I'm PLACED to
meet We It's a enc. big house We
have III take a little more Nv tn
spinach an so on. Fin'lly he has IL
all right an tn first sicrety takes him
up TO see tn king. As he enters with
a martial sthride tn speech he pre-
pared in Jersey City slips his mind, he
falls aisily on a rug into settin' or
kneeling posture an tn king mutters
a few kindly wurruds I'm tn language
that tn embassadure used to shoot at
whin he was in tn milishy an all is
over. TIL first secrity carries him out
an he goes home an finds his wife in
Mysteries firm thryin' to explain her
position in Cedar Rapids befure she
was married to a RoOshyn princess
through a Danish maid iv honor that
wanst lived in Scotland.
'Afther awhile he begins to appre-
cyate tn hOnOrs iv his place. TIL
king sinds him an invitation to peek
into tn rile gardens on public holidays,
to speak at a dinner iv tn Buss
Dhrivers ASSOCIATION an to attind an
ny fun'rals iv tn rile family. Tn first
sicrety gets him so he can weep ivry
time tn name iv Shapespere is min
toned. TIL first sicretry tells him that
he oughtn't to know too nanny Amer
leans but that's because tn first sic
rety don't understand his fellow coun-
trymen. Ivry mornin' whin tn ambas-
sadure opens his mail expictin' a let
ter firm tn prisidint tellin' him 10
run right over to tn palace an asst
tn king about tn Pannyma Canal he
gets a few lines firm an American
stOppin' at tn Stars an Sthripes HO-
tel sayin': Dear Ambassadure. I
have a letther firm Mark Hanna tell
in We 10 give me tn best rooms in
ye'er house or lose yeer job. I will
move in tomorrow. Meanwhile PLACE
sind ne. TIL namely good s:ove in