The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-06-15
FUN OF THE WORLD.

An old darby fearful OF being buried alive
left these final instructions:
After my time stay long ez possible.
Don't make the funeral long datu
make sleep only de blow dinner hon
over me. If that don't wake ID. is shO' gone"
< Sg
Thomas Huxley once related a story OF country
school lad, who put the mitrai valve called from
its resemblance nitre right the
him through observing: Poor little besssr,
them 0he valves correctly myself until rejected
that bishop was in the right"
Secretary Hays poem 3 istl. Breaches. va. fr.-
quenty attributed Bret Harte young lady
said to him: Il highly pleased to nett you
Mr. HaTte have read all your poems but have
enjoyed Little Brooches the most" Pardon me- mad
am Harte is said to have replied but put
the Little Breaches on the wrong man"
<
Il congratulate the reception which
heard you honored with Indiana" some
recently remarked Senator Fairbanks who had
just returned from the Republican convention Indian
spos
That reminds me-" said senator "Of an old but
most loudly and nobody else car could sleep.
Finally it decided TO awaken him compel him
to quit snoring awake SO. after difficulty
he
What's the trouble?' he asked
Your snoring keeps everybody in the awake aud
- it got to stop"
How you know 1 snored?" questioned the dis
turber of the peace.
I'VE heard YOU the reply.
to go asleep again. don't believe all you hear"
zkg &c
Some few months a young matron teiephoned
TO one OF the young knew. who is connected
with large insurance firm asking him write policy
covering her household effects.
Don't tell Dick she asked II to surprise
him. He really thinks have business head al all"
The young man assented and issued the policy. He
waited considerable time the payment OF the pre-
MUM His friendship for the young caused him
to resist sending bill. but he finally did recip
a VIII Is
siderable OF and he readily encouraged her IN her
ideas.
this bit of paper costs next to nothing could
written it myself"
Yes said he. but If you have fire the company
viii have TO pay the loss"
Well" she suggested '1et them deduct what they
say owe them. Then they won't be out anything
z x z
This lapse OF memory is accountable for many a
failure the part OF the grown-ups' comprehend
the mental of their imaginative superiors the
children Some clumsy person calls the charm
ing device Of fancy another of those naughty
BY that condemnation he up a weil-nigh impass-
able barrier between himself the dreamer
Not long ago grown-up accosted the street
by dainty maiden four who nodded a bright good
morning Isn't there going to be wedding
down there? pointing across the
I think not, said the obuse adult Il haven't heard
of any wedding"
Are you sure? think there's going DO One: per-
sisted the little maiden.
II don't any flowers or carriages and guess Won
are mistaken replied the champion dull fact
Then the tiny plesder drew nearer. and with
treating touch OF her hand voice lowered out Of
hearing of the fairies, she breathed:
Please there's going be a wedding! I'm Just
making believe"
Some years when the west was wilder and more
wooly than 1t is today young man. grown rich
and now famous capitalist and fnancier regular
boarder at hotel in the town. He and num-
Der of his friends every evening TO
the smoking hotel which they used a. sort
OF club, and their wants attended by wit
ness, who may be called Miss White. nice.
quiet girl, without about attended
to the wants of her patrons with regularity prompt
tude One evening after she had retired night
the landlord informed the company that this was the
last time that she would wait upon them, as she was
going TO be married day. When landlord had
gone OUT, Jimmy Hughes. the young man referred TO-
got up and said that ne thought only right they
should show their appreciation Of her by making
her little present this suspicious He took
sheet Of paper, wrote his down for 500 and
passed it around. The girl popular and the idea
caught on and when it around again generous
Jimmie the total amounted something They
summoned the landlord. handed the amount TO
him. and asked him 20 give IL Miss the next
morning with their hearty wishes happiness
Next day she married. and happy bridegroom
vas-JimInie Hughes.