Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1902-10-10
FROM INK MICROBE
1T is SCIENTIFICALLY SHOWN
THAT AUTHORS SUFFER-.
1t May Account for Novelsts' Alleged Thirst
for GOre-Effect Is Shown in His Writing
Fine Work Of the Microbe Effects
in Poets,

u DIanu new MlcIODe. lnlS mlCIOOt
flourishes only in ink bottles and inl
stands, and for that reason it has beer
called the ink microbe. Ink infested
with this microbe has been injected
into rats and guinea pigs, and. as a re-
suit, the animals speedily died.
The discovery OF the ink microbe
has explained to many minds why
there has been 80 many Zenda stories
of late, full OF blood and fearful slaugh.
ter. 1t is easy to see that the writers
of this class Of literature have been
bitten by the ink microbe. The bite
of the ink microbe, being able to cause
immediate death in the case of rabbits
and guinea pigs, has in the case oil
fully grown men and women been able
to fill them only with deadly feeling
which caused them to fall upon the
innocent characters in their books and
slay them without mercy. Some oil
these authors have killed as many as
sixteen or twenty OF thsir unsuspectinq
creatures in one page. Probably just
as they were about to write that page
those authors we're bitten by q whole
school of ink microbes and 90 filled
with deadly hatred that they immedi-
ately and without mercy started on
the war path and hewed down the
children of their own brains withou.
mercy.
1t is easy to see how this would
occur. Take q sample page from any
OF the novels to which the reading
public has become accustomed with
in the last six years. The page starts
off simply enough. Itbegins probably
like this, as gently and sweet as su M
mer morning, with no suggestion oil
woe or horror:
II was sitting on the vine.clad
porch OF the Hotel de Incognita. All
Nonesuch was in holiday apparel. The
streets were crowded with people, flags
were flying everywhere and bands were
playing from the balconies of the pal
ace. The sun shone down brightly
from q cloudless sky of the serenest
blue"
From this paragraph it will be seen
how At peace with all the world is the
author. There is nothing but good
will in his heart for al mankind. But
in the next paragraph comes violent
change. It runs something like this
Suddenly carriage halted at the
front door of the hotel. I'heard foot
steps approaching rapidly. drew my
sword and stood prepared. Suddenly
. man appeared. It was Count Slim
merslammer. Without q moments
hesitation I chopped off his head.
Four Of the counts men rushed at me.
I did . little more chopping and then
sat down nonchalantly and sent in .
four.elsven call to the morgue."
1t is easy in this sample page to see
tho fine italian hand Of the ink mi.
crobe. The author was sitting COM
placently at his desk writing . pretty
story full of sunshine, blue skies, and
happy people.
He is sitting nibbling his pen and
smiling into vacancy as he reaches for
some beautiful thoughts. All unseen,
three or four ink microbes crawl to
the top of the ink stand and, rubbing
the ink from their eyes, glance stealth
lily at their victim, the author. The
victim does not see them, 90 one Of
the ink microbes whets his teeth mo-
ment, and then, with . whispered
"come on, boys" they charge across
the writing desk and. falling upon the
unhappy writer, bite him again and
again. Then they crawl into his veins
and proceed to stir up trouble. The
writer commences to feel vicious. He
no longer sees blue skies and hears .
happy people exulting. He wants to
kill. He feels something gnawing in
his veins. He thinks it 10 . fine trans.
port of genius. But it is not. It is
the ink microbe filing him full Of lit.
erary murder. He whets his pen on
the edge Of the table. He grits bin
teeth and grins viciously at what be
has written, and then, a. the ink mi.
crobes bite and claw at him again, be
commences 10 drag forth the charac.
ters he has created. and slay them
without mercy.
It is quite possible that the pessi.
mist poets who see 90 much Of the
somberness of life are also victims oi
the ink microbes. Many of the writ
ers ON economic subjects and on the
various great questions OF the day are
also, if the truth were but known,
merely victims of the ink microbe,
which probably has no hesitancy in
biting any writer of every kind and
sort who has the i'll luck 10 put bis
pen into the inkstand. The only rem.
edy would seem to be in boiling the