The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-12-01
TWAIN AS A TARGET
Bright Orators and Bon WANTS Of
Gotham Celebrate the Humor-
lists Birthday.
Howells' Double arreled'' Sonnet
~. and Bangs Poem-Mark Re-
plies in His Best Vein,
ss.v Yors s,.,. speesas seryse.

b. f a.
New York Dee. <1.-'There was great
deal OF humorous oratory at the dinner
given. at the Metropolitan club to Mark
Twain by Colonel George Harvey to cele-
brate. Samuel IL Clemens sixty seventh
birthday. There were fifty-four guests
present and the gathering was national in
character. .-
For once the great humorist was the
target and he had great difficulty in get
ting a hearing. Eight orators-Tom Reed,
Chauncey Depew, Wayne MacVeagh. Dr..
Van Dyke, w. D. Howells, Hamilton W..
Mabie. st. Clair McKelway and John
kendrick Bangs-had their shy at him
before he had a chance to reply. Each
time, as the. speaker proposed Marks
TWains health, he rose. but was gently
pushed to his seat by Colonel Harvey,
who, in the interludes between speeches.:
scarifed the last speaker roasted the next
enc. and gave brief, unauthorized fore:
cast Of what Mark sTwain would say later
on in getting even. >S''.
.-1> HoweIs' Sonnet: >. .., .
W. D. Howells read what hesj called a
double barreled sonnet prefacing it with
the apology that Mark Twain did not lend
himself we'll to the sonnet as verse must
be- smooth. while His method, was the
inspired higgledy- piggledy"
John kendrick Bangs read a poem in
which he proved that. Twain was really
Adam. Finally, Mark Twain himself got
. chance and said:
- - Mark Heard at Last.
Before get to the higgledy-piggedly
point, as Mr.. Howells suggested L do,
want to thank you for this high honor
you are doing me- and I am quite COM
petent to estimate 1t at it's value, I see
here around me the captains of industry
in all the great Industrious industries,
most distinguished men. There are more
than fifty here. believe. and believe
that out Of those fifty know thirty nine
OF them-well, I could probably borrow
money >from-well-from the others. any
way. $780, s.. -. e.. .
1T Is a proud thing to me- indeed, to
see such a distinguished gathering come
here to do reverence to mere neral ex-
cellence and elemental veracity-and,
dear me, how old it seems to make me- 81
look around me and I see three or four
persons have known as many years i
have known John Hay. and Tom Reed and
the Rev. Mr.. Twichell close upon thirty
six years. I have known Mr.. Howels
nearly thirty -four. and knew Chauncey
Depew before he could walk straight, and
before he learned to tell the truth.
Several. on Reed
Tom Reed has: good heart and he has
good intellect but he hasn't got any
judgment. Why, when Tom Reed was
invited to lecture to the ladies' society
FOR the procreation of representation, OF
something to do with morals don't know
what 1t ,was-advanceme suppose, Of
pure lnerals-he had the indiscretion tc
begin by saying that some of US can't be
9ptimtsts,, but by judiciously utilizing the
opportunities that Providence put in oul
way, we can all be blgamists. That was
TRUE: but that was no place to say that
50 they fired him out. =
He has had a good deal to say about
that Yachting cruise last, spring down ir
the West Indies on Mr.! Rogers yacht
and so has Colonel Harvey said somethine
about that; but dear me. that was not a
poker playing trip at all. There was
poker. but not much poker. There was
perhaps, what crowd like this would cal
q great game of poker--but a crowd like
that we. didn't go there to play poker
anyway; we went down there to hunt u,
Martinique and start, up that volcano; an,
that was remarkable voyage in variou
ways.
"a lot of accounts have. been settle,
here tonight for me. I had srudge
against some of these people, but the
have all been wiped out by the handsom
compliments that have been paid me-