Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-03-06
= BLUNDER
[Original.1

Miss Olivia Allendale was one Of the
elite; also had the entree to the best
society. Miss Allendale was rich; I
was by no means impoverished. Miss
Allendale lived in handsome house
of which she was the mistress; lived
in bachelor quarters. Miss Allendale
was considering number of men from
among whom to choose a husband; 1
was concentrating my attention upon
Miss Allendale with q view to secur-
ing her for a wife.
Miss Allendale knew all points Of ETH
quette as she knew her letters and was
extremely fastidious as to the bearing
of her friends. once saw man who
did not know that it is a lady's privi-
lege to offer her hand to gentleman
extend his own to Miss Allendale. She
was dreadfully shocked.
had everything in my favor with
Miss Allendale-so 1 was Informed by
a mutual friend-and felt reasonably
sure of an engagement before she went
to Newport for the summer. But one
thing l knew-if l ever made mis-
take in etiquette, laughed too loud, said
the wrong thing at the wrong time-in
short, in any way Indicated that was
not to the manner born-I would lose
the prize.
A note came inviting me to dinner
en- famille. 1 understood by this that
there were to be no other guests and
would have the evening to myself.
Indeed, considering the situation be-
tween us, l felt sure that would have
an opportunity to declare myself.
AS fate would have it, on the even
ing of the dinner was suddenly indis-
posed. My valet, Pierre, a treasure and
on whom had relied implicitly in car
rying messages, had been taken seri-
ously i'll the day before, and had sent
him to a hospital. I sent out for a
messenger to take my regrets to Miss
Allendale, and one Dennis O'Rourke
appeared. 1t would never do to send
note except by my own valet, so told
Dennis to go into back room, where
he would find one Of Pierre's suits of
livery, and put it on. He did so, and
when he returned I was charmed that
it fitted him so nicely.
''rake this note to Miss Allendale,"
said, "and when you return bring me
my dinner
Before could conclude the sentence
friend entered, and when l turned
from welcoming him Dennis was gone.
''Confound that felloww I said an
grily. 81 intended to tell him to bring
me dinner from Delmonico's, and he's
gone without instructions"
An hour later Dennis came in bear
ing sumptuous dinner.
Where did you get it?" l asked.
"Where did get it? Sure, where We
stint me for it."
what do you mean?'
''The lady, Miss Allendale. stint in
yer note an said ye'd loike 10 have me
bring back the dinner, as We We're suf-
! FERN an couldn't go OUT
l sat paralyzed for moment and
then, Selling the heaviest piece of china
on the tray before me, hurled it at
Dennis O'Rourke. Unfortunately it
grazed his soft head cutting it, and,
striking the hard wall, broke into
| pieces.
What could do to repair the blum
der? For awhile l rayed, then tried to
| think. Absently taking up O plate, l
noticed that it was make which
could not be duplicated in America.
Here was more trouble. If could get
new piece to match the broken one.
l could return the dishes without it be-
| ing noticed. AS 1t was, could not re.
| turn it at all.
Hoping against hope, wrote note
explaining the whole affair and. as l
had no other messenger, was forced to-
send it by Dennis. When he returned,
he bore no reply whatever. Then +
knew the game was up.
"Whom did you see, Dennis?' asked
"The futman, sir. He TUX the note
on shinin' waiter. waited, thinkin'
there was somethin' to sind, an when
he KEN back he says, 'Sthep this way
I follyed him, an he TUX me to the
DRAWN room, an way off at the other
ind sat beautiful lady. The futman
stands loike sojer at attintion at the
door, an l axes him what l shud be
doin'. Thin he jerks his thumb at the
lady an goes to her.
| ale Se NIL. ei DICK udu. she
axes.
"'Yis. mim,' says.
| whats the matter with yer fore
head
~ got that III me stupidity
| "'From Mr.. Van Bleek?'
"'Yis, miss, an deserved it,
"'What did he do it with?
EVAN av the dishes. The fact is,
miss, he SHE'D it so quick couldn't see
which wan av 'em he TUX
That will do. Ye may co.
1.-The answer to Mr.. Yer Bleek's
note2'
"'There is no reply
"Thin, sor, hopin' to do somethin' to
be even wild me mistake, says:
1T wud be favor, miss, if We wud
sind bit av note since was so I'M
fortunate as to go wrong wild me first