West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-05-15
4 IRAMP'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
Ne Makes n Stirr,ng Political speech
and Decides a Puxxling ParlIa.
mentary Question.

Jured two men who were riding In H.
There was political campaign on. and
both the men were political speakers who
were on their way to attend an open air
meeting. went to the nearest farmhouse
Tor help and after they had been assisted
there one of the men said to me:
81 am due at that meeting at a o'clock.
am down to speak on the labor question.
III you'll get on to the horse and ride Into
town and let II be known that can't show
up. I'll give you g.. I've been two weeks
preparing my speech and it's corker.
aud It's too bad rm knocked out like this. :
I" Have you got your notes with you ? I
asked
- OF course
" How would II be II should look them
over aud take your place p
Say. man, are you a tramp or what p
he asked as he looked me over.
Something OF a tramp. but more OF a
dilapidated gentleman sauntering over the
country for the benefit OF his health. I've
made political speech or two In my time
and I'm pretty well up on the labor
question
by George, but II might dot might
do IL you could get through with IL, il
would make great hit, Look here. now.
III give YOU the names OF couple OF my
friends in town. You ride on and 20 to
them. II they are satisfied that you can
make speech, and you carry II of all
right III guarantee YOU sio. Don't fool
with IL, though.
sIIo ka,A.l -. IL.
glancing over them to see the line he had
taken told him I'd tackle a speech The
farmer hitchcd up a horse to drive me to
town and fetch out a doctor, and 1 had 40
minutes to post up in as we drove along.
The men was told 10 see looked upon the
matter as good joke and rushed me
ahead. There were about 400 electors at
the meeting. II was a laboring man run.
ming against lawyer for n county Office
aud when got up IN my rags represented
labor down to the ground Everybody v
laughed and hootcd for the first three or
Tour minutes but gradually they gave me
n show i didn't make much use OF the
notes except Tor statistics, simply drew
a picture OF breadwinner toiiing from
daylight TO dark to get on. with ambition
TO b,tter his condition. and had 'om
cheering me In less than IS minutes I
held the crowd for an hour and when /
left the platform every man wanted to
shake hands with me. | had hundred
Invitations TO take week of and the two
chaps who had put me up'handcd over $40
apiece. and taken all around IL was what
you might call q glorious occasion. / got
away as soon as | could aud resumed my
journey, and three weeks later when I was
IN lsdiana | read In the papers that my
isbor candidate bad come In under the
wire winner. ] battered myself thai ]
had contributed somewhat to bring about
the result. but only did il to obligc, YOU
know
IL was the sao | got out OF that political
picnic that got me into trouble week
later continued the di.apidated "One
day when had struck a small town after
a tramp OF 40 miles the feeling came over
me TO get shave and hair cut. aud then
to sit down TO a square meal and to sleep
IN regular bed. IL was a foolish idea
and should not have given way to IL, but
went ahead and brought disaster, / had
got cleaned up and had my meal and was
smoking fve-ccnt cigar on the veranda
when the landlord sent word 10 the con.
stable that he had a suspicious guest in
his house. Up comes the constable with
his silver star all FURNISHED up for the
occasion and says:
. Stranger. I'm on to your racket. and
you must come with me. Don't resist. n
you DO. shall shoot you dead in your
tracksr
What's my racket asked
= Bank burglary. But shall nip IL in
the bud spotted you as you come into
town. Put your wrists into these hand.
cuffs and come aIongr
It's no use arguing with country
sheriff or constable "They arc always
looking for fees and always have a big
thing on hand in their minds. I've been
arrested huDdrcd times over on supicion'
and have found IL a waste OF breath TO say
a word. When We got to- the lookup. he
put irons on my legs and sat outside the
door all night and for few hours ho was
tile biggest man ia that town. In addition
to a big revolver he was armed with a
shotgun. an AK and crowbar. and every
hour or Two he pounded on the door and
informed me that he'd blow my head off at
the slightest sign OF attempted escape.
Next morning ! was arrsigned before a
Justice. fIc was fat and baIdhcadod and
solemn. and he put me down as despcr-
ate character. He started right in TO land
me in jail, but ! handed my own case aud
inside Of ten minutes had him all tangled
up. also had the constable guessing what
damages I might get for false imprisen-
mcni and to pot an end to a bad half hour
they turned me loose and gave me Ga to
leave town. stayed long enough TO quote
the statutes to them and hear local
lawyer tell the constable that he'd prob.
ably have to 60 to prison for FIVE years for
false Imprisonment and then I resumed
my journey. My entry was very tame. but
my departure was almost a tfiumphai
procession.
u nigh, have been three months later
and 400 miles away that attended pub
!ic meeting IN = iown ono night II had
been called by The taxpayers and there
were several bot debates over coofempIa
ted improvements. The chairman WASH
as well posted as he might have been and
when an amendment was offered 20 =
resolution he insls cd on putting the reso.
luton 10 vote bfsi a dozen voices cried
out that be was wrong and dozen more
that be was right aud they were having n
nice Old row over Il when I got 40 and
quoted CuShings Manual on the point
10 say that my appearance aud statement
created sensation Is drawing u mild
One faction wanted 10 throw me out Of a
window. and the other wanted more Cush.
iDe and in the end J was provided with a
SUIT OF old clothes. two meals and a lode
ing and when left town next morning !
was told that the opposing faction had
been beautifully Knocked out As for the
& .. y. principles. u saves bookkeeping
prevents mistskcs beats a chash register
~ telling you how much capital you have
OF band, and hope 70 see IL universally
adopted IN time