New-York tribune., 1902-02-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The most entertaining lies told about the British
troubles in South Africa may be found in a French
newspaper printed In the little far away French
colony of Pondicherry, in India. They are so
dvertng that the English themselves see the Joke
One Of the best things that passed for news in
Pondicherry was account of General Butler s
alleged capture by the Beers
General Butler stood in a humble and suppliant
attitude before General De Wet Greatly moved
by this heartrendinS scene General De Wet who
looked like God himself asked Butler II he had
anything TO say. General Butler replied In these
words: Sir. a poor man. l entangled myself
IN this war owing to my inability to bear the
worry OF the British Government. Grant me my
life and l will go
Butler was thereupon released. General Htench
however. was shot. after having broken his Parole
King Edward IL is reported has given medals TO
three thousand runaways from the British army to
keep up appearances. But the British money chest
is so low that the government now robs London
residences by night"
:, Unthnka aaible-"suppose said the girl with the
at all and you fell in love with young at
we'll said the girl with the Julia Marlowe
And you engaged yourself 10 him
And when YOU married him
II can't imagine anything Of that knd-on a first
eagagement-"-(Chcago Tribune.
She ignorant but ambitious woman. re-
lates The Chicago Tribune" and the great am
biton OF her life gratlhed when her husband
was elected a member Of Congress. Immediately
after the result OF the election known the new
Congressman's wife drove in from her country
home 10 the county seat 10 call in triumph on her
dearest enemies in social way. She called first
on the wife OF the local banker. who had sent her
three daughters through Vassar and. after receiv-
ing the congratulations OF the family, she turned
the conversation her plans for the future OF her
own daughter. Jennie. Il going to give Jennie
every educational advantage" she said "As soon
the Congressman and l get Washington we
are going to put Jennie in the Smithsonian Insti-
tutc."
While he said said to her little brother the day
that You are going TO have me for your big
Yes" the child answered. Il knew that a long
time ago. Maud bought her weddin dress "a
Herald
The London Chronicle" quotes a naval officer as
saying that during the War of 1872 the British Ad-
miralty sent out To Kingston. Canada where the
British fleet was then stationed n large number of
water casks. in the belief that Lake Ontario was
salt water lake.
In, Mrs 81 BiIkins learned to play poker so she could
81. and M does he stay in now"
ing allowance that ne hasn't the price of u drink"
philadelphia Record
Some months before the outbreak of the war I'm
South AFRICA "a consignment of twenty thousand
tumblers was sent to Cape Town. They were en-
graved with the motto of the South African Re
public, and meant for drinking the health of the
burghers in when they took Cape Town.
What's the matter" asked the rooster: more
observation-disclosures Yes" replied the hem II
can never find things where l lay them. -(Phiia-
delphia Record.
With the completion of the Trans Siberian Rail-
road Russia makes her entry as a connection in
the European butter trade. and is carrying every
thing before her. in 1899 the Russian product I'm
the London markets too small for separate
Classhcation in two years it had jumped TO the
second place, Denmark holding the first as she has
long done. The Trans-Siberian butter trains one
a week, leave Obi. stop six other centres OF
the industry and arrive at the Baltic port of Riga
after journey of seventeen days A steamship
line with cold storage service conveys the product
on to London, where competes successfuII,, yitb
the best European brands. those of Denmark Ire
land and Normandy. The trade is only bep,n b,,.
It's promise for the future is enormous and the
butter market of the world. of which London ts
the centre will henceforth feel the force of y a,,
factor and of production Of nracti
caly limitess extent
The introduction of paper stockings is to ba tho
next clothing reform one is informed PapeT er !he e
tWine: that Is then roughened to give it a wooiiS
pence par M pTGe Wbcb we n are re @ is half
seems more than doubtful If the comfort of "a
would be precisely alluring.-(London Globe
Axel T. Lndhom. or Saltwater. Wis 10 -.
possessor OF an extraordinarily rare relic from
Norway-a verdict rendered by jury of twelve in
June, 1903. at Oslo Courthouse, where Cbristiario
now stands. At the bottom of this novel -.
hang twelve strips of sheepskn with twelve
pieces OF beeswax the size of a small watch vvbicn
contains upon each the seal of one of the Jurors
In Memory OF Old Times.-Goodman Gonrory
slepped up 10 the aristocratic parsonage in the
side N ei"hs oy MS
Mister he said, "a dime amt much To vo, h,,,
1t would git me good meal o. - ~ ''' "u'
Cut out tnat whine, you greasy old bum infer
rupted fellalre-formerly Rusty Rufus-"and -,
your toes out. Stand up like a man. Haven't Won
-ascal?'' 80 '''"'eu oiu
Taking from his pocket large round silver
COIN. ne thrust II into the hand of his bIearaved
Fellow CITIZEN turned him around gave him a part
ing KICK, ana strobe on, wiping his hand on per-
Tribune " NO"easo