The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-09-18
:. MY Revolution :.
BY w. L. ALDEN.
COPYRIGHT. 1900. BY w. L. ALDEN.

Mr. James Smith, ex-embassador or the
United States TO the court of Lichten-
stein. sighed as he put down his glass
OF whisky and soda. He was usually In
excellent spirits. and as knew that the
whisky was particularly good wondered
at his apparent melancholy
'T was thinking." said he. ''of the days
when / was American minister 10 the
Central American republics. Our govern
ment used to bunch all the hve republics
together and send one minister TO the lot
OF them. l was young In those days and
thought Central America was mighty
rough place. / enjoyed II a heap more
than / ever did any OF these European
courts.
1T was a big thing TO be ambassador
TO Lichtenstein and to have hand In
tho political pie OF pretty near every
nation In Europe but never enjoyed II
as enjoyed my first mission To Central
America. l liked the place so much that
| staid there IL years. which was what
you might call breaking the record.
You know. ! suppose, that our gov
ernment whenever a new administration
comes In turns out all the foreign am
bassadors and ministers and puts in lot
OF new men. bought to have been turned
out after being In office four years, but
| knew that / couldn't be recalled except
oy a notification TO that effect from
Washington. and / took good care that
no such notification could reach me.
when my four years were pretty near
up ! got permission 10 make a tour of
the five republics and TO report on their
general condition The Central American
postoffice arrangements were very bad.
and calculated that / could always keep
ahead of any dispatch recalling me that
the Washington folks might send.
For four years / kept moving from
one place TO another, and never once In
that whole time did a single blessed dis
patch or letter from the United States
ever catch up with me.
THE government sent out three sue
cessve special messengers with orders
to hunt me up and notify me that was
recalled, but none of the messengers were
ever able to come up with me. One OF
them did get within a days journey OF
where | happened 10 be. and l began TO
think that the game was up. but luckily
he died of fever before he could do any
harm.
when the four years were ended. my
own political party came into power
again, and the new president happened
10 be an old friend of mine. So he kept
me III office another four years, and about
the end of that time / resigned OF my
own accord.
THE president Of zargueia was as good
fellow as you need to meet. provided.
OF course, that he didn't feel any call
10 shoot you. He and l were as thick
as thieves.
The other ministers were a pretty
swell lot, especially the Europeans. They
used TO come TO the palace dressed up In
gorgeous uniforms. and at first they
looked down on me because i used TO
WEAR a blue flannel shirt and troiisars
and nothing else except boots and a neck
tie. l just adopted the flannel shirts and
trousers for comfort and gave out that
they were the regulation uniform for a
United States minister.
The president. who was a rough soldier
who had risen from the ranks, liked my
free and easy style. and before had been
in office a month / had more influence
with him than the whole diplomatic gang
| put together. i taught him 10 play poker,
taking care that the balance of winnings
| should always be on his side, and I used
| TO spend the greater part OF my evenings
| in his private room with nobody present
| but just we two and a bottle OF genuine
old Kentusky whisky that 1 imported for
| diplomatic purposes.
This president Don Villar vilar,
1 had been in office five years when made
| his acquaintance. That was something
| very unusual In Central America where
L
sassinated within two years after he goes
/ into office. This particular president
| however, had shot so many of his oppo-
| nents the day after his Inauguration that
there was nobody who was In a position
| TO raise a revolution against him. Then,
| again, he had governed the country so re-
markably well that he was everlastingly
popular.
zone night the president seemed to be
in curiousy low spirits. and after a bit
l got him to tell me what was the mat
| ter.
| "T'll tell you the whole story said he,
/ for know you will sympathlze with me.
| ! have been president now going on five
years, and there Is pretty near 100000 In
the treasury. Now, IL has always been
| the practice for the president to be turn
| ed out by a revolution just as soon as
| the treasury got full enough TO make Il
| worth while for him to carry II of to
Paris and live like a Christian. Here am
| !, with $500. 600 In my possession and no
| possible way of getting out Of the presi-
| dency and leaving this beastly country
for good. and ALL
! Do you really mean TO say said I.
| that you want to be turned out?'
| "'Of course do said he, When I took
| the job OF governing this country / ex-
| pected TO be turned out In about two
! years and TO be able to go to Paris like
! n gentleman. But here I have been for
f, nearly Ave years. and there Amt a bless
| ed geenral In the whole army who dreams
| OF heading a revolution
| why not have an election and have
| yourself counted out7' said I. I've had
| considerable experience In practical poll
tics In New York. and II you give me the
| counting of the votes I can have you de-
| Fen ted nv an overwhelming majority M