davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20

VIII some one please explain the
"gOing-to-theatre face Of the average
New Yorker? The question is sugges-
ted by a long experience in Hobbies
while the auditors are passing into
the houses for the evening perform
ances. The writer stood for nearly an
hour engaged in the seemingly nope
less task of discovering the cheerful
theatre-goer" But in they poured,
men and women. each and every one
with firm set jaw, gloomy brow and
the look Of despair. Perhaps it is be
cause the long distances Travelled oa
crowded cars and the thought OF an
equally uncomfortable homegoing
makes a night at the theatre seem just
a bit like work to the residents Of
this narrow isle.-New York CONNER
cial Advertiser.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
EPAONY IN FINLAND.

At Helsinfors the telephone system
throughout is on metallic circuits with
branching multiple switchboards and
self-restOring drops. the equipment OF
the exchange having been provided by
Messrs. l.. NJ Ericsson & Company
Both overhead and underground wires
are employed. The number of sub,
scribers on November l was 4016
The subscription varies from 102 to
80 marks per annum, or Ton a sys,
TEN of ownership of instruments by
subscribers the entrance fee is 15O
marks and the subscription is 60
marks per annum. Females are en-
ployed exclusively as operators. The
telephone staff, male and female, mum,
bers 120 employees.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
THE Ski-RUNNER,

Ere yet the mornings golden bars
Have put to flight the paling stars,
Rap-rap along the frozen way
Goes the Sllirunner, brisk and gay.
He leaves the hard-bOund track below,
And seeks the rolling fields OF snow.
There where the valley opens down
Upon the quain-set wooden town.
Up leaps the sun with glad surprise
And clothe with green a frozen land,
He tracks the elk, and in his lair
Awakes to life the slumbering bear.
Up leaps thes un with glad surprise
And under his ermastering eyes
The snowy bosom warns and glows
And melts into a flood Of rose
Frost diamonds glitter in the rays,
And thrO' falling golden haze
The runner passes to the bright.
Glad, herald burst of morning light.
What reckS he that he bold intrudes
Upon the Frost Kings solitudes?
Scales the unbroken slopes. and rides
:
Long burrows clean the good ski make
AS down their wild, mad course they
take;
To right, to left. grim bOulders lift
Their cold. gray noses through the
drift.
The forest mazes in and out.
This way and that they twist about;
They whistle shrill the trees divide.
And down the long, white lanes Jhey
glide.
Below the twinkling lights appear,
The lights of home the wanderer steer
And far athwart the northern sky
Are flung the wizard searchTights
high.
The red wood fire. the wholesome
fare,
The hard. clean life. the findling air
Are his, and blithe the Norseman
sings
The glOries of his wooden wings
London Spectator.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
fmsmtn@tns Facts ano fanetss

hanging it should be thoroughly
soaked in water and sprinkIed occa-
sionally TO keep it moist In due
time the ferns begin to appear all
over the ball, coming through the net
work of twigs and the ball becomes
finally a big, fluffy globe of fern
sprays two or three inches in
diameter.
An American way of handling the
Japanese fern ball after it has been
first wet consists in not suspending
il. where it has to be occasionally
moistened thereafter, but in placing
it upon the top of a suitable tall,
open vessel, as a vase of proper
dimensions, filed with water, from
(which it draws uniformly the
moisture required for its develop
ment
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
THE HOMEWkRD WAY.

This is the way, the quaint old way.
Toward hope and friends and home
again:
On through the fields of yesterday,
Back to the sweets that charmed
us then,
On, through the paths of green and
gray,
This is the way, the kind old way.
This is the way; cloud we forget
The wayside flower, the wild June
rose.
The feast Of bloom a fragrance set
To lure whoever comes ana goes
Stunning the road Of old regret,
This is the way; could we forget
This is the way; fare home with me
Along old aisles Of JOY and song.
Our hounds have run too far and
free:
The wander-hour endures too long
Rest, meath the generous rOof-tree;
This is the way; fare home with me
Prank Walcott HUT in the DOS
ton Transcript.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
Pies ntr.es.

Farmer Skinem-Doin yer spring
plOwin' yit?
Farmer Wiserube-Ycp. HfrSd the
oat field to a Teller to practice golf.-
New York Sun.
Nicholas-"M Men appear so different
on their automobiles.
Nathaniel-Yes; the first time
went out with mine my wife said
looked as If | had already been upset
and run Over.-Detroit Free Press
Stanley-Hertling is inclined 10 he
erratic in his opinions. He was say
ing today that there are men out OF
prison who are more deserving Of pun
ishment than some of the men now
under lock
Towler-The egotist--Bo~tOn Trans
script.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
Disease Germs in Money

According 90 American medicine
the distnfection Of paper money
should attract the attention OF
Eygienists. When patients with
smallpox or other contagious dis
eases are quarantined they must
purchase and pay for food, etc. ana
II is certain that bills sent by them
may be carriers of contagion.
It is almost impossible for the
larger banks to carry out thorough
disinfectiOn OF money with tao
present devices. and for the smaIl
stores and working men it is move
difficult. 4 simple, cheap and
effective distinction device is highly
desirable. Banks may lessen the
danger by returning to Washington
for redemption notes that are not
only badly SOilGd or damaged, but
that are slightly SO. 1t would be we'll
if the English system of redemption
were also in use in our country.
Our government should he more
liberal to banks in this respect
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
YOUNG ALFONSO OF SPAIN.

Alfonso NH. will not be crowned.
None OF his predecessors has been
crowned, for the ceremony of thc
coronation of kings does not exist
in Spain. The only essential act
of an Official character to precede the
taking possession OF the sovereign
power by The young monarch will be
the oath Of fidelity, according to the
constitution. and this will be sworn
to before the president of the
chamber Of deputies and the as
sembled cortes, says an exchange.
The ceremony of the oath will be
celebrated with great pomp in the
hall of assembly of the chamber.
All OF the senators and deputies will
be gathered there, dressed in uni
form or evening clothes. The king,
accompanied by all the royal family
and followed by his court, will go to
the parliament in the historic coaches
which are one of the curiosities OF
the palace. and one of the external
signs the most priced of the addi-
tional magnificence OF the kings OF
Spain. Some of these coaches with
the panels painted by masters, cover
ed in tortoise-sheli or constructed Of
fine wood Of the Indies and ornament
ed with bronze engraved like jewels,
date from The time of Philip V. and
are copied from those belonging 20
Louis XIV. There is one in paT-
ticular in ebony, held up by leather
straps, that is called "The Foolish
Jane"
Those OF the coaches at the head
of the cortege conduct the officers Of
the crown. They are harnessed 20
four horses. The carriages destined
for the infantas and for the great
dignitaries of the palace are drawn
by six horses. The one in which will
ride their majesties will be drawn by
eight horsese wearing the Isabella
robe. 1t is surmounted by the royal
crown. The harness is extremely
rich. The coach will be accompanied
by powdered footmen
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
WHAT WOMEN DO.

The Washington Post reports that
English women have taken up with
the charity sewing clubs with re-
newed zeal since the return of the
Princess of Wales from her tour.
The Ophir brought home. it is said,
an astonishing number of frOcks,
flannel petticOats and wraps that the
future queen had taken time to cut
and make during her trip, assisted by
her ladies in waiting.
In one of the canyons of the beauti-
full Los Gatos foothills, at the west
eIn end of he Santa Clara Valley,
the home acre of Mrs. Reed has been
held by the proceeds from the
stuffed prune industry which she
has developed. Chicago and New
York markets demand all that she
can supply. Her success is due
largely to her dainty and artistic
manner of packing the export.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
MANAGING A HUSBAND.

There is positive exhilaration to be
derived from bringing all ones
efforts to bear upon husband whose
business worries have pursued him
from the Office, writes Lillian Bell III
Harper'S Bazaar. There is a genu;r e
delight TO fight with the unknown
anXieties which his love will not per
brings out all the tact and patience
and diplomacy all the charms and
graceS. of a woman's character 20
transform cross, tired. wornout hus-
band into new man-just by a good
dinner and little tact
But to manage a husband when
there ar" so many kinds of husbands
requires, more than any other one
thing. a thorough study of your SUD-
jCct. To meet your husband with a
smile which is the old-fashioncd
rule for all ills. is enough to make 4
nervous. irritable man frantic. Look
him over before you even smile
You ought to know how to treat him
Don't sing or hum if he has a head
ache. or begin TO tell him the news
before YOU have fed him. If there is
one rule to lay dOwn-which there is
motor if | were giving automatic
adYiCe-whiCh | am mott should
say at most men come home like
hungry animals, and require first OF
all to be fed.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
To Encourage Population.

In connection with the up-to-date
question of the depOpulation of
France, says the Paris Messenger,
several contemporaries have been. re
viewing past efforts made to increase
the number Of inhabitants of the
country. They go back to the Roman
period, when Augustus enacted that no
bachelor or married man without chill
dren could claim a legacy, while. on
the other hand, rewards were givsn
to fathers with large families. In
France, Louis XIV, III 1866, gave ad-
vantageS with regard TO the payment
OF taxes TO persons marrying before
the age OF 20 and to fathers of ten
children. In 1898 bachelors were
taxed, but this lasted but few years
In the year II of the revolution Ma
poleon proposed that all fathers of
seven children should have the right
to call upon the state to care for the
bringing up and education Of one of
them.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
a VIKING AMAZON.

Professor Guldberg in opening a
burial mound in SOLDER. Norway
made find which has created great
interest in the scientific world as it is
the first of its kind ever recorded in
Norway. In the mound was found the
skeleton of a woman in complete ar
NOR, with her steed and its trappings
Everything dates back to the Viking
age and the lady was undoubtedly OF
nigh rank and possibly herself a war
.ior, who fought with the men as al
equal. The mound will be most care
fully excavated and examined as it is
believed that other valuable discover
les Will be made.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
JUDGE CLANCY'S DIVERSION.
Uncertain and Wandering Survey of
the Montana Man Accounted For.

There was a bit of diversion IN
district court today. Chancellor
O'DOnnell was arguing his objections
to a certain declaratory statement
made by one of the parties to a suit
which was being argued on a demuT-
rer. The chancellor thought that the
statement was vague, uncertain and
Indefinite and altogether faulty, and
should not be considered with any
degree of seriousness in court OF
common law.
Now, listen to this" said the
chancellor as he proceeded to read
the statement. He runs his line 900
feet this way and / 900 feet that way,
and curves around the hill and luns
another hundred feet or two and
comes back to the point of begin
ming"
The court sat in his usual position,
his legs crossed, his head resting on
his hand. his eyes fastened upon an
object on the side of the wall to his
left
Il say, listen to that. Where did
he run his lines?"
The court seemed to be immOVable
Now, this, too is strange decIara.
ton, to my mind" continued the
chancellor. Now, where did he go
when he ran this line? | say. where
did he go? Where did he go?'' he
burst forth with vehemence
Judge Clancy gently lifted mis-
silVer-bearded face from his hand
AND slowly piercing the scene with
his twinklinG eyes, said in reply:
Went to get q drink, | reckon"
The chancellor up to this point was
chin deep in his argument, but when
this unexpected reply came he
waived further argument for the time
and Joined in the laughter which
ratified the old window blinds and
made the court bailiff look like
happy man
II should infer your honor" said
the chancellor. when the ripple had
died away into the coroner's office.
that this man was from Missouri"
Judge Clancy being native OF
Missouri, caught the drift of the
chancellor's intent, and he. too, re-
l2Xed his facial muscles and laughed
with the common herd.-Butte court
report in the Montana Daily Record
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
STRONG SWEDES.

Hjalmar Lundin and Gustaf Sand
berg, the Swedish wrestlers, had ar
interesting contest at Fitchburg
Mass, recently, which the former won
Sandberg secured the first fall in
Graeco-Roman style in seven minutes
and was counting on an easy victory
when Lundin demanded that the next
two bouts be catch-as-catch-can. Sand
berg demurred at first, but was OBJ
Iiged to accede, and after some pretty
wrestling, was thrown twice.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
LiFE'S LOOM.

Weaving weaving, weaving.
Time is the warp,
P7,lsjng and throbbing life's loom
goes;
Summing, spinning, spinning,
Mans deeds the wool,
Quickly and busily the shuttle he
throws.
Tee little child takes up the task,
AS soon as consciousness begins,
HK tiny hands uncertain act,
AS mcrrily he needless spins.
The youth. with pride and confidence,
Loud vaunts the deeds he will
achieve;
The future big with great events,
Ia blazing light his name will weave.
Hard pressed, beset, the man tolls on,
Speed by the days, the months, the
years,
A2hast and desperate he stands,
So small his greatest work appears.
With palBied hand, old age has come;
Slow goes the Ioom-Fate cut the
thread;
wide yawns the grave; the web Is
spun,
A shroud is woven Tor the dead.
lis thus through life; man zRiHs and
weayes
Until of time and deeds complete
This mystic robe, his very self,
Becomes for him his winding sheet
Weaving, weaving, weaving,
Time is the warp,
Plilsing and thrObbing, LIES loom
goes;
Spinning, spinning, spinning,
Mans deeds the wool,
Ever and ever the shuttle he throws.
-Harper's Weekly
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
MINES NOT SOLD.

The reported sale of 500 shares of
the Gellivara Ore companys stock to
S. w. Harrison. representing the
United States Steel corporation, has
not been completed, owing to hind
RANGES which arose at the last mo-
ment There is very little doubt that
the deal will be made eventually and
that the corporation will take charge
of the mines in time
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
Wasn't Sure II Would Stick

4 intend" said the proud youth.
Ito make my name imperishable"
Don't see how Yer goin' to manage
it" said his unimpressed cousin,
leSs'n Yer paint it on Baldface
mountain with Perkins Inde!ible
Dab. that they use, fer markin' sheen.
And | amt sure that would stick
Washington Times.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
STORY for an
Hole Dour
WHY NOT MARRY FOR RATE?
\ Happy Result Just as Likely to FOL
low Araues a Philosopher.

j Happy Result Just as Likely to Fol
low, Argues a Philosopher.
There is the love marriage, the maj
rage OF convenience, and the mar
rage for wealth. Why not the hate
marriage?
Hate, it is said by innumerable
Wiseacres, is akin to love. II IS just
as healthy sentiment, anyway, and
is lust as much out OF the ordinary
ron of human feelings toward each
,/Ler as is the more popular love
People fall in hate with people in
lust the same way as they 1all in IOVe.
every one is fitted up with sort OF
electric battery. which is attracted, re-
pulsed or unaffected by contact with
other bodies. In the Jaw of affection
and dislike they obey rule common
10 everything that moves attraction
and rcpulsiOn.
Love is the rorcc OF attraction in
human beings. Men meet few people
that they love. for the simple reason
shat there are only a limited number
al persons III the world who are sus-
oeptile to a particular kind OF electri-
city. Every one has a battery strung
up Of a different voltage" as it We're.
Some people are tuned up high. and
accordingly encounter more objects OF
attraction than those who are only
Guaranteed to a limited number Of
revolutions.
The high-readinS lover therefore,
Ia II, ~ 40
i0w-reading one lie is sort Of
magnet for rowing atoms, and his love
affairs are accordingly numerous.
They do not. as a rule last long. for
the reason that fresh atoms continue
so gravitate toward him, cacn i'll turn
supplanting the other. The low-reading
lover has less active kind OF Clectri-
Ctty. With him it is the few who are
attracted toward him. Sometimes
only one body is so attracted III life
time. When attracted, of course. this
body stands a much greater chance of
pcrmanencc than with the man of
many attractions
There are further, men and women
OF comparatively no love electricity.
These people so through life either
wTthout love attachments or 'noSS lor
Which W" hoid Plato responsible at
fractions OF mind and temperament
rather than OF passion.
But to come TO the nate electfic''!.
haterS are strung up by sort OF
electrical meter. Just as lovers. Ihere
Is good ail-around hater. VINO hates
most people. lie IS the hiGh-readlng
mater. instead OF attracting otner
bodies by irresistible force, he re-
pulses them. aud they scatter 10 the
"lhoS on contact with nm. mere Is
the tow-readlnE hatel, who takes
&"nulne and lasting dlsIik"S. which he
cherlSh"s to the end of his lie. He
only hates few people. but those he
really hates
Ihen there i the last. or uon-hat"".
lie repulseS nobody at all, for he has
not the repuISlve electricity. lie is
merely lndlHerent to other houies
Ihef 40 not scatter on his approach,
nor do they sraVltaJe toward MIN.
They Just remain as they are. If he
hates, he hates accordinG to the same
Plato. PlatoniC hate, like platoniC
hove. springs from the mind rather
than the heart lie hates others be
cause he does not like their opinions
about the war or certain brand of
cigars. 1t is not the passionate torn
81 hate at all. which is just as re-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
Lovely Women.

Crittek-'9 saw you at the pre-
miere of the new comic opera.
thought there were good many fine
lines in it, especially in the choruses,
didn't your"
Erontrow-"Well. | noticed a good
many fine curves in the chorus
esses '"-Philadelphia Press.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
JAPANESE FERN BALL.

Fern balls are losely woven globes
of twigs filled with moss in which fern
roots are packed away. They may
be hung in the window. but do better
when they have less light Before
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
A Good Guess.

Il see there has been drop IN rub
ber?' said the youth from Chicago
mo doubt its resilient qualities will
at once enable it to bound upward
again was the comment of the Boston
girl.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
HOW TO BE A DOCTOR.
Lesson from the Modern Correspond
ence School

It is quite easy to be doctor IL you
only follow carefully the instructions
given below. After candidates for the
degree Of NJ. ID. send us an affidavit
that they have read carefully the les
sens We give leading up to this de-
gree we wi. at once ship them their
diploma printed in eighteen colOrs on
tenor drum parchment, sealed with a
green seal. and tied in blue ribbon.
The answers to these lessons must
come carefully wrapped in ten dollar
bills and addressed to Merry Andrew.
We cannot confidently assert that our
diplomas will always be accepted by
coroner's juries, but it may help some.
The first step to be taken by young
men in order to be doctors is to raise
whiskers and TO cultivate a bald head
Many bright young man, fresh from
college and full OF theory on the prac-
tice of medicine, has been ignomin-
iOusly turned down by the community
into which he found his way because
of his youthful appearance. Just as
J. Caesar, deceased, liked to have only
people around him that were fat. so
do people like to have their doctors
bald and whiskered. So our first in
struCtiOn, which We snail insist upon
as being absolutely necessary to a de-
gree, is that young men candidates for
our degree must be long on whiskers
and short on hair.
Learn TO make bread pills. Take
ordinary bread and moisten with wat
er and roll into neat pills. In case
you cannot diagnose a disease, do not.
under any circumstances. say so. Or
If a man isn't really sick, but Just
thinks he is, don't ever say so. He
would merely set you down for an ig-
noramous and hunt some other doctor.
Just look wise, hem and haw five
times, and then say that it is a ser
ious case, and leave a box of bread
pills.
1t you cannot ascribe any other
cause for one of your patients dying.
set it down as heart failure. That's
cinch
After you have begun practice. at
tend the theaters, lectures, and the
ike. Take a seat riert down in the
middle OF the roo Iere a mar
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20
Contrary to Scripture.

You are in my pew, sir" said alr.
Upjohn, stiffly.
Then / am sitting in the seat of the
scornful!" replied the stranger. get
IT of it with alacrity and taking
further back in the church
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20

Be impressive. No matte, if vor
don't give a man anything but
couple OF grains of Quinine. do it in a
solemn, impressive mannor. 1t makes
all the difference in the world.
Buy horse and buggy before You
purchase case of surgical mslru-
ments or a library. People like TO
have a doctor drive up to their houses
in style 1t makes the neighbors en-
Vious.
Don't explain too much. Let the
grave cover your professional secrets.
Study these rules carefully. You
Will be then we'll qualified to practice
on everybody except those whom You
would really like to get we'll. In such
cases, call in specialist.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20

half dollar to rush franticalay into
'iiC na'' after the performance has
Wen begun and gasp out,
Is lF. killum in the audience? IL
he Is. he is wanted at once at the
door,
lhis will be your cue to stand up
and start all the audience to whisper
ing:
Yes, that's him, That's Or. Kill
mm."
Ihen you go and take your messen-
ger across the street and nav him
nall dollar. In about an hour you
can return, but in about ten minutes
you should have another messenger
d&Sh IN. This will give the idea that
you are enjoying large and lucra-
tive practice.
Cultivate a spirit of resignation.
Get used to having a man tell YOU in
hoarse' trembling whispers that If YOU
get MN on his feet again he will give
you half OF all his money. and then,
after he is restored to his normal con-
dltion, dodge You for six months and
Kick like bay steer because YOU
charged him S2.65
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-03-20

After you have begun practice, at
tend the theaters, lectures, and. the
like. Take a seat ri, IT down in the
Hdddle OF the roo Iere a MAJ