The Washington times., 1902-02-09

II ~ .4:::. g. -'' ''-, ''>'-
We'll. thcyse gittin' 81 cents
inside dar; but you bein' a reg'lcr Gus
toner. All reckon All kin let you hab 'em
eL low ez 90
When the old negress said inside dar'
TO the prospective customer, she jerked
her right thumb over her right shoulder,
indicating the interior OF Centre Market.
where more prosperous dealers occupy
permanent stalls for the exhibition of
their wares. She herself was one of the
two or three hundred sidewalk merchants,
who, upon payment of small sum are
privileged on market days to conduct
temporary business on either side of b.
between Seventh and Ninth Streets.
These sidewalk merchants are distinctly
typical of Washington markets. They
come from the small truck farms of Vir-
ginia and Maryland within conveninet
driving distance Of the Capital, and a
single wagon usually sufIices TO carry
their stock in trade. with the stand where
ii is displayed. The latter consists or
dinarily. of two barrels supporting 4
clumsy platform of loose planks upon
which are set number Of wooden troughs
containing farm products of ali sorts ill
season.
The Sidewalk Merchant.
On the evening preceding market day
the wagon of the sidewalk merchant is
loaded with the poultry, eggs and agri-
cultural wharnot TO be sold in Wash
ington on the morrow. At midnight or a
little later, when The FOUNDERS of the
city are about decided that there is no
place left to go. but home; when the
drivers of the ramshackle carriages. pop
ularly designated as might hawks" are
alert for the man with an alcoholic i'm
redimert in his gait. and policemen are
cautiously trying me doors OF shops and
Offices, the sidewalk merchant rises out
of warm bed and observes TO the old
clock that it's tine to be ''hi;chiH up"
Shortly afterward, the Light Of q Ian
tern may be seen fitting about his little
barnyard. TIE noise CT rafting harness is
heard the clumsy movements OF half
sleepy horse. which .reads upon the side
walk merchants cold feet and precipi-
tates flow of profane objurgation or
gentle admontion, according TO the
strength Of religious conviction and
amount of sleep enjoyed by this particu
lar man with the hoe. In half an hour CT
so. everything is snug. The driver
mounts into his seat, draws his whip and
away they go, hcIse. wagon, farmer ard
vegetable. at the -rate of about-two
miles an hour
4 Rickety Conveyance.
Il is just as well that the moon is be-
hind cloud, for the outfit is sorry
sight Repaired again and again until
there is not left a single stick of wood
or a single stitch of canvas that appeared
in its original makeup, the wagon
creaks and pounds over the uneven ROAD
like crazy sailboat in cheppy sea In
order 20 ease The strain upon some Of
the weaker spOtes there is a strip of
wood, wire bound and reaching diamet-
rically across aafrcnt wheel from one
point on tae tires surface 70 another On
its opposite side. A every rotation of
the wheel, the ends Of this homely sDlint
strike the ground with a whack, threat
ening dissolution the next instant
When a steep hill is reached and the
aged nag forced into smart trot, the
rheumatic wheel beats a clattcrirs tat
too upon the road bed alarming to any
one except the confident driver, who
knows that everything is safe until one
night the wheel goes to pieces, spilling
- man. horse. wagon and vegetables
upon a lonely road in the dead of night.
On the market day following, the same
farmer comes tc town in the same wagon
with The same wheel re-enforced by
another splint.
The owners of these senile vehicles
always refer TO them as fixes" A stu
Gent Of provincialism asked why this
was 50.
EFF you look right close, you won't
hab To ask dat question, replied the
Sidewalk merchant.
The student looked right close" as di-
rected but forced to repeat his
query.
Getting in Fix.
Don't you see?" explained the owner
of the wagon. I'VE calls EN- fixes 'cuz
We got to fix EN- so often. An my ole
woman says: When you git in EN-, youse
gittin yerself in a fix Ho. no, no, ANY
apples today. madam? ANY apples er
aigs: picked fresh yistiddy mawnin',''
Eggs picked!
'Scuse me; l mean the apples wuz
picked an the aigs-but, bless my soul,
so wuZ the aigs picked, out o the nests.
o course. Now, never thought o. dat
befoah. he adds in ruminative tone, as
If he had Unexpectedly stumbled upon
some great truth. hitherto unknown TO
the world al large.
OF all the broken down, worn out, indie
scribable vehicles that appear "on the
line" the space occupied by the side
walk merchants is known in the parlance
of the marketmen, perhaps the most ex-
traOrdinary is the horseless carriage of
Martha Washington Custis jefferson
Jones an aged Maryland negress from
Charles county, God bless you,''
The horseless carriage of Martha Jones
We will pass over her other names out
of respect 10 the dead-consists of an an
tique. four wheeled buggy drawn by
stolid OK, harnessed in medley OF
strings and straps that easily rivals, in
1ntricacy of arrangement, the famous
Gordian knot Of history. The length Of
time consumed by the horseless carriage
on the trip TO Washington is known only
to Martha Jones and, like the little boy
who was questioned concerning the stolen
far OF Jelly, she won't tell.
Henry Clay Can't Tell.
"How long does it take you to come to
town" asked curious person.
ASK Henry Clay" replied old Martha
Jones
"But Henry Clay is dead" said the
questioner.
''Not dis hyah Henry Clay" retorted
old Martha, pointing to the OK.
But he can't talk"
well" replied Martha Jones, in a tone
that left the question TO be forever un-
answered, faint my fault"
ia In a world n1der