Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1902-04-24
OOFETCHrTlsM.

Some one made up big rigmarole
in order to run my powders down and
signed the names of a lot of good pcO-
Pile to it who deny saying what be
wrote, and | will tell you why he did
this. He wrote me to send him sam
pie package of my powders, and did
so. He used them and they did just as
/ said they would do, and be ordered
two packages provided | would send
them on credit. This would not do,
and so he got mad and run the powders
down. He fed the sample package
sent him to girl he wanted to win and
he saw the change in her, but saw a few
more was required. He tried everyway
to get there, but failed to raise the
dime, got mad and is now forging good
peoples names. The powders are as
good as ever, and you all know they are
good and reliable.
Let me tell you what Tom Suther-
land got me into the other night. 1t
was my first day boarding with Tom,
and arrived home about a. m, Tom
woke up and said "Dofetchit, you will
find hot water on the stove in kettle to
wash in. So went in there and pour
ed what thought to be water in the
tub, and / thought it looked awful
black, but though perhaps little SCOT
uH Fol Inf / ~
hands washed and dried and then pop
ped my feet in and washed them and
went to bed In the morning | was
aroused by the words Burglar in the
house last night "What," asked be-
fore got out of bed. "But they did
not get anything as we can see except a
kettle of coffee" just then happen.
ed to think of the black stuff had
washed in, and being stranger there
didn't know what to do, what to say, or
even what to think, but wished was
at home. They were all so excited
they were hunting something else the
burglar had stolen. Finally 1 covered
up head and ears and went to hard
down studying. In about an hour the
racket was quieted down, they had
found the thief. When came in Tom
had been talking in his sleep, and these
are the questions | asked him and the
answers be gave me. "Well, you have
been asleep, bave you, TOm?" It's in
the kitcheH on the stove in the kettle"
rs the water warm, TOm?" 20 Of
course | love her better than any of
them" WHO is she, Tom" OF course
she is as sweet as a sweet pOtatoe." "
Where does she live, Tom" "0h she
is in the kettle on the stove 10 the
stove in the kitchen" and that was all
could get out Of him, and that was
why got in the coffee.
fell off my incline horse the other
night, and lit a hundred yards below
where 'riz" on both ears.
Some girl rang me up on the phone
last week and commenced talking with
mighty pretty voice l was saying
man" and "yes nam" when all at
once John Smith spoke out in his nat
ural tone of voice. came very near
telling him to go where angels don't
go, as l was just about to make love to
that pretty voice over the phone. l
think it ought to be against the law for
man to disguise his voice oyer a tele-
phone.
Ikilled a gopher rat in the mines the
other day that weighed II lbs on the
standard scales. The miners all stop
ped work to see that mammoth rat.
caught little bat in the mines the
other night. 1t must have escaped
from show as it was hanging by its
toes with its head down. 1t was blind.
| tried to turn it loose but could not be
quick enough. 1t was little but loud,
and it bit me 500 times before let it 60.
l didn't kill it, but l sure thought it
would finish me. Dofetchit.
L