davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
Domestic Ability.

An aristocratic East Superior street
woman, who has had the usual number
Of failures in the way Of domestics.
having tried nearly every nationality.
heard the other day that a number Of
girls had come here from Finland to
seek employment as servants and that
they were highly recommended as
strong, intelligent, capable and gener-
ally excellent help.
With high hope the housekeeper
hied her to the office where these par
agons were on exhibition, and was
soon brought face to face with a
brawny specimen. who could not
speak a word of English. With the
aid Of an interpreter the following
conversation took place:
"Can you cook?"
ooh, no."
Can you wash and iron?"
"No."
Can you sweep and dust or clean
house?"
Il have never done anything like
that"
"For goodness sake, exclaimed the
astonished matron to the interpreter.
ask her what she can do"
With calmness and complacency the
reply came back: Il can milk rein
Ieerl"-Duluth News-Tribune.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
MISS BowERs. MINE DIRECTION.

Miss e. Bowers has lately been
elected to the dictatorship of the Star
of Erin Gold Mining Company in Mel
bourne. Australia. 1t is reported that
when some Of the masculine share
holders opposed the choice, they were
quickly silenced by the majority, and
were informed by the Chairman that
Miss Bowers was an experienced per-
son in mining matters, and fully ca
pable Of filling the office Of a director
-Woman's Journal.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

prominent in this club is the Countess
Cassini. She is small and slender, and
although a mere girl in years, pos
sesses the accomplishments of a belle.
She was among the first to wear the
clubs colors and cross blades not only
with her own companions among the
girls but has occasionally worked new
buttonholes into the jackets of men
who have faced her rapier. In her
delicate physique she demonstrates
the truth that skill and not brute
strength wins honor at this noble
game. She has never appeared out
side Of the club rooms as a fencer, but
rumor has it that she is no mean ad-
versary
The pretty wife of the Brazilian
Minister Sonora de Assis-Brazil, is
another expert with the foils. She
has triumphed in many private en-
gagements Besides being one of the
prettiest women in the diplomatic
corps and in society at Washington,
she is one of the most graceful in car
riage.
NAAoS MdDcl h-SlAldAA' udu6ulcA VI
the Director Of the Census, Joined the
club at its inception. She is a grace
full American girl of the new type
tell, 1.-THE and lovely She rides,
fences, plays golf and enjoys every
athletic exercise. In coloring she is
perfect blonde, and her outdoor life
gives her a radiance of health and
graceful carriage Miss Merriam Is
a type of the new American maiden.
Miss Edith Root daughter of the
Secretary of War as is proper, is
patron of the Fencers Club. She
Joined it shortly after the advent Of
her father in Washington. Among
the manly sons Of Mars she is a god
dess.-New York World
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
A Fancy shirt waist.

Owing to the great popularity Of bis
cult and tan shades. waists made Of
ecru linen are seen in large assort
ments and merit special attention. as
they may be worn with so many diff
ferent cOlOrs. They are especially ef
fective when accompanied by a skirt
OF marine blue cheviOt or serge for out
ing excursions.
The waist illustrated is made Of linen
in this fashionable shade. The founda
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
FASHION NOTES.

Pongee silk waists, very plain or
lace trimmed, are the newest blouses
with most commendable features.
The belt grows wider at the back
Black and white lace parasols are
the height of elegance and good taste
Embroidered batiste of the finest
texture and softest biscuit tint is to
be in marked vogue this summer for
entire gowns, for fancy waists, and for
trimmings
Lace is used in profusion. and prob
ably the dyed Cluny laces will be one
OF the striking novelties of the season.
Colored laces were introduced several
seasons ago and made no success.
Tulle wells with lace borders are
even more fashionable than all lace.
One of the latest fashions is to have
a tulle veil with figures of lace ap-
pliqued on to 1t; not on the part which
comes over the face, but just across
the ends.
The vogue of white still continues.
Tailored gowaS are finished with
white vests, cuffs, collars, revers, pip
ings and stitching and facings Hats
are not only trimmed with white flow.
ers, but faced with white, and some
are all white.
Velvet ribbon is still employed in
every possible form, in waved, verti
cal, horizontal, and diagonal lines, in
lattice, diamond, and Greek key pat
terms, and for choux, loops, tabs, point
ed ends. strappings, lacings, rosettes
with long fringe strands, etc, from
the narrowest to the widest weaVes
Of the ribbon.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
FAIR FENCERs.

The Washington Fencers' Club Is
composed not Suly of men who have
acquired this dexterous art, but mum
bers among its members many fair
women. These latter are so expert
that they need not resort to the wom-
ans natural weapon--a hatpin-to re-
pei attack, but might readily use a
parasol or any little stick to ward at
tack from any man so unnatural as to
attack their apparent weakness.
Among the ladies' who have been
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
AN ENTERPRIsING WOMAN.

A Maine woman. the mother Of
eight children and a comparatively
young woman, is the proprietor Of
one Of the most hourishing farms Of
her vicinity. Five years ago, when
she took charge Of the estate Of three
hundred acres. it was in a rundown
condition and was stocked with i'm.
plements which were of the most
primitive sort. Dairying is her speci-
atty. She has a herd of twenty-five
thoroughbred Holstein COWS, from
twenty to forty hogs. according to the
season, and keeps five work horses
busy. Her farm is stocked with tools
and machines of the most improved
kinds.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
fR,,'NF FOR the
E;5.ALADIES !
PING PONG HATS.

Some women literally have ping
pong on the brain From a popular
millinery establishment come hats on
the upturned brims Of which ping
pong rackets and balls are appliqued
in fancy straw. The crowns, too, are
trimmed with silk scarfs embroidered
in the same design. Then there are
stocks both in linen and silk, in which
the plng-pong emblem Is used as a
decorative feature
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
ms ALTRUTsM.

Maud newly married)-Yo look
very melancholy, George. Are you
sorry you married me?
George--No, dear-of course not. I
was only thinking of all the nice girls
can't marry.
Maud--Oh, George, how horrid OF
you! thought you cared for nobody
but me?
George-No moro do. wasn't
thinking os myself, but Of the disap-
pointment for them.-Punch.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
HER REGRET.

did you see the trained animal ex.
hibition?"
Il did" answered Miss Cayenne.
did you enjoy it?'
mo Such things always give ma
a certain impression of sadness. When
l see what can be done in educating
dumb brutes cannot understand why
more human beings cannot be moved
to a display of intelligence. Wash
ington Star.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
HIS PHILANTHROPY.

"If you had s4OO,OOOOOO, which
would you do, start universities or
build libraries?"
Neither; I'd establish free soup-
houses for educated people whose re-
fined tastes untitled them for ordinary
work Chicago Record Herald.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
A GENIUS.

There goes a great genius!" ex.
claimed the Georgia citizen, as a tah
figure slouched by.
"Novelist?"
mo, but he reads all the novels the
other fellows write"
You call that 'genius'?"
"Well, If it amt exactly genius, it's
the patience of it."-Atlanta COnstitu-
tion.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
MONOTONY.

"You ought to have a change OF
scene" said the physician.
But, my dear sir" protested the
patient. Il am travelling man by pro
fession."
well, that's the point. Stay homs
awhile and see something besides hO.
tel rooms and depots, w Washington
Star.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

Recent airship happenings give new
force to the philosophy Of the old ne.
gro who said: "If you're on a train
S-1 It runs OFF the track, dar you are.
But II you're on a boat and de bllef
busts, whar are you2" Only Senior
Severe could answer that. And he
has stopped talking.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
Hard LOT OF THE FOX.

"Why is it," asked the fox, that
you always look so gaunt?"
tits all on account of the business
I'm in," replied the wolf. Il always
have to keep from the door until
there's nothing left in the house to
eat. philadelphia Press.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
NOT POETRY FORsOOTH!

'Pshaw!" he said after having read
it through the second time, Il can't
see any poetry in this"
you can't" she exclaimed in sur
prise. why, look there-there's
'adown' and here's 'meseems.' Chi
cago Record. Herald.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
HE ENJOYS 1T.

Borem.-You can't find a man any.
where who enjoys joke better than
| do.
BiRkins-Guess that's right. I've
heard you tell the same old joke TWEEN
ty times. and you laughed every time
you told it.--Chicago News.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
HE LACKED TACT.

Nell-He wrote a lovely poem to
Mabel
Belief know, but she got mad and
tore 1t up.
Nell-The idea! Why?
Belle-He headed It Lines on
Mabels Face. philadelphia Record.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
SUCH IGNORANCE.

Glee Club Man--You ought to sea
a sunrise on the Pacific Ocean. 1t is
simply grand.
His Partner-Why, l didn't know
the sun ever rose in the West.-Yala
Record
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
EARLY EXPLANATION.

"And she married Jaggers, did sheF
Well, welll How on earth did that
come about?"
She-SO far as can learn, it is
owing to a mutual misunderstanding
Brooklyn Life.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
A DELICATE CHOICE OF TERMS.

"I suppose those newly rich friends
of yours will entertain in society next
season"
mo" answered Miss Cayenne:
they won't entertain. They will
amuse. ."-Washington Star.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
Pretty Hat.

A simple and pretty hat Of a dark
blue rough straw is trimmed with a
couple OF clusters Of lilies Of the valley,
with their green leaves.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
THE ORIGINAL PATENT.

Teacher-What was the forerunneR
Of wireless telegraphy?
Scholar-The wink.-New York Sum
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

weather. The garment illustrated is
made OF gray Venetian with black
mOire trimmings.
It Is simply adjusted with shoulder
and under-arm seams, the back being
perfectly plain. The fronts fasten in
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

woman appeared before the York.
England, Guardians the other day who
had just buried her seventh husband.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

New York Clty.-ShOrt blouse EtOns
are much more jaunty than jackets
which reach below the waist line, and
are usually preferred for moderate
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15
GOING 10 MEET.

AS it is talked nowadays:
She-Are you going to go?
Another She-Yes. Are you going
to come for me?-Indianapolis News
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

The person with a keen sense OF
humor is the one who knows when not
to be funny.
Sunday Washington globe., 1902-06-15

The man with a poor memory can
never hope to be a successful liar.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

extremely well, | arose and said:
Gentlemen, we are at Wray. We pass
ed Robb some time ago and you have
been able to ride fourteen and eight
tenths miles faster than 1t has ever
been covered
They looked at me with astonish-
mcnt and never spoke. | went at once
TO the platform at the rear end and
observed at time OF departure my
watch, which was showing FIVE min
utes strong. after 500 p. m. Train
was not at a dead standstill, but the
nose of the engine had passed far
enough under the wire to constitute
the distance finished and to create a
record.
Il went to the head end, where Mr..
Lindsay Of Pittsburg, manager for
Andrew Carnegie. and party were oe-
cupying special car Grassmere. Mr..
Lindsay was on the platform when !
approached and exclaimed: 'Conduc-
tor, that was a terrific burst of speed;
how fast were we going?
81 told him the speed was more than
ninety miles per hour for the distance
of fourteen and eight-tenths miles. 1
came to the conclusion we were flying,
said he, and told my party 1t was the
fastest time We had ever made"
J. II. BURNS, Conductor
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
SEu Ill., b4ZEK IHEx4a)

leadership of his party in the house
He is serving his first term in the
Senate, but his utterances on impor-
tant legislation are listened to with
Difference by the wise men of that
body.
When Gen. GrosvenOr essayed his
speech on Cuban reciprocity his voice
was in bad condition, and he placed on
his desk a bottle, filled with a fluid as
white as milk. From time TO time he
paused to sample the contents. His
allotted time had run out long before
the bottle was empty and a member
moved that his time be extended, just
as the general was taking another tug
at his medicine.
Il move" said Hank" Smith OF
Michigan, at whom Gen. Grosyenor
had been poking fun for seeing spooks
in the Sugar Trust, that the gentle
man be given time to conclude his
speech and take drink"
That eyened up the score for the
gentleman from Michigan.
The expected resignation of DR.. A..
u White from the ambassadorship TO
Germany opens the way for the ad-
vancement of another distinguished
university president, who has given
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

to do but sit at the feet OF his older
colleagues and learn wisdom. His de-
sire for knowledge has been particu-
larly noticeable during the pending de-
bate on the Chinese Exclusion bill
When a Senator arises to speak Nj.
Dryden plants himself in front OF him
rests his head on his hands and strains
his ears to catch every word that falls
from the orators lips.
Nearly all of the speeches are cut
and dried affairs. written out and real
in the senate for the purpose of home
consumption, but the New Jersey
Senator is not critical. He treats all
speakers, Republicans and Democrats,
alike, and moves from one side Of tho
chamber to the other as the oratori-
cal scene shifts. One of his colleagues
says that if Mr.. Dryden could retain
all the information that has been
pumped into him since he has been
a Senator he would know less about
more subjects than any man in Con-
gress.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
And H, Got IL.

You have lovely hand" remarked
the youth, as he grasped the fair maid
ems hash mixer.
DO you really think so?" she
queried in tone that was calculated
to push him over the hurdle.
That's what" answered the unsus-
pecting victim of circumstances. II
admire beautiful hand, but mine Is
apt to be mistaken for ham. Il wish
l had one like yours
Then" suggested the willing maid.
what's the matter with bracing up
and asking for it,"
p. S.-They are now selecting the
furniture.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
A NEW WORLDS RECORD.
Ninety-Nine Miles an Hour.

The making of a worlds record Is
not an every day occurrence even In
these twentieth century days. there
fore, the establishment OF new
worlds record for short distance run
ming by the Denver-Chicago Special Of
the Burlington Ros,e is regarded as a
red letter event.
From Eckley to Wray, Col. a dis
lance of 1913 miles, the remarkable
speed of 1856 miles an hour was main
tanned. The train was heavy one OF
nine cars, in charge OF Conductor
]. Fl. Burns and Engineer J. V. O'Con-
nell. The run was made on March "a,
and the records OF this rapid flight
have just been verified.
In this connection II Is interesting
to note that the Burlington Route.
which now holds the worlds record for
fast running over short distances, still
holds the worlds record for long dis
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

lance running. 1,025 miles, Chicago
to Denver. in 1,047 minutes was the
record established February Is, 1897,
and it has not yet been equalled. That
a western railroad should have both
''the long and the short of it, In the
way of worlds records for fast run
ming is noteworthy fact, calculated to
upset the opinion OF eastern people.
The report of Conductor Burns on
this occurrence is rs follows:
Train No. left Denver about ten
minutes late, owing to a wait for the
through California car. A heavy wind
prevailed to Akron, which put US out
of the latter place exactly thirty min
utes late. Engineer O'Connell was
handed the usual documents to proceed
and nothing exceptional as regards
speed was mentioned. as II has been
customary to go to Wray, first stop.
in 43 to 46 minutes, 20 to 10 miles an
hour average. when late.
We passed Otis at an average Of
about 50 miles an hour. Hyde and
Yuma the train passed at about IS
miles an hour. and when the train
passed Eckley it was running "A to rs
miles an hour.
Il was in the observation car, Eek
ley to Wray. On my left were several
gentlemen who had been talking about
the run: Mr.. Arthur Johnson Of Dem
Yer, Mr.. WSe'hs Ait, tseyy- G0fr Los Angeles.
Mr. Bush. Traffic Manager Ef the
Colorado Midland, Mr.. Foley of Omaha.
two men from Salt Lake City, lum-
Der dealer from Leadville and an cleo
trician from Honolulu.
I'VE passed Eckley at 1856 p. m, all
hands holding watches corroborating
1t seemed so short when the whistle
was blown that the comment was made
by Mr.. Johnson, oh, well, he is not
doing SO much as We thought he
might Mr.. Johnson believed that
we had but reached Robb, a distance
of six and one-tenth miles from Eek
ley.
II remained silent a few seconds,
disappointed. The wind had gone
down, and on account of the heavy
smoke falling over the train | was not
positive where | was. but with sec
ond thought, the train having dashed
over a bridge between whistling post
and depot, and knowing the location
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
Interesting Chat on
Men and affairs that
Are OF Prominence at
the National Capital.

some of the best years of his life to
the service of the government, DIR.
David Jayne Hill, the present Assist
ant Secretary of State. DR.. Hills name
has been so prominently mentioned in
connection with the German ambassa-
dorship in the event of Ambassador
Whites resignation that 1t is fair to
conclude that he may be chosen.
DR.. Hill will complete his fifty-sec-
ond year on June 10. Few men have
ever attained such eminence in letters
and diplomacy at his age. He was
university president at 20 and built
up Rochester University in a wonder
full way. He resigned the presidency
of the University in 1896 to perfect his
studies in international law and the
public law of Europe but within two
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

81 suppose you think it is very silly.
Charley, dear" said young Mrs. Tor
kins, for me to pay several dollars to
watch an actress for few hours.
We'll, to be candid, it does strike
me as little steep"
But 1t isn't so bad, Charley dear.
as paying $40 or $50 to see horse run
once around a race track. is it, hon
estly?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
Had q Use for Him.

The photographer labored indus
triously. He got out a jumping-jack
and various other toys. and in the
course of half an hour or so he had
the baby growing and laughing. Then
he took the picture.
You're wonder" said the father.
II fiatter myself" returned the pho
tographer. that l am pretty good at
my business
The best ever" asserted the father.
IF you can do that with the baby as
a regular thing, Id give you board and
lodging free just to have you in my
house nights"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

Mr.. Lakeside (gloomily)-The book
keeper has run of with all my money.
and we may have to 90 to the poor
house.
Mrs. Lakeside-No need OF that, my
dear. Well get divorce, and you
marry the woman who got $4,000 out
OF you in that breach of promise suit,
and I'll marry the bookkeeper.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
Washington
Gossip
Especial Letter.)

HERE has been a great deal
I'm of smallpox in Washington,
4" and almost every member OF
H congress has been vaccinat-
Jed in consequence. As a re-
~L suit visitors to the capitol
are seeing what Congress
man Cannon calls one
armed oratory." BY that the head of
the appropriations committee means
arguments illustrated and emphasized
with gestures made with one arm.
II the best thing that ever struck
congress-, said Mr.. Cannon in COM
amenting on the epidemic. Formerly
when We allowed a member to make
little speech, he took ten or fifteen
minutes to work his mouth and about
frty square feet for his arms. Now
ne works his mouth at the regulation
rate, but only the members to the
right of him have to move their seats.
In the old days If you sat within TWEEN.
ty-nYe feet of speaker you were LA
Die TO nave your head punched every
time ne made point. Now you can
sit in perfect safety right under an
orator if you only keep on the left
side of him"
Every once in a while Senator Bate
OF Tennessee INDUCES in burst of
humor
Recently, while bill was being dis.
cussed in the senate, Mr.. Hoar and
Mr. Burton, who were standing side
by side. talked about the measure, but
addressed their remarks to each other
in low tone.
Mr.. President" said Senator Bate
cannot the senators take us into
their confidence? They seem to be
having a delightful private colIouuy,
and really we would like to share in
the good things which they are say.
ing"
Senator Bate chuckled as he sat
down. His sarcasm, however, had its
effect, and when the two senators
spoke again everybody heard their
remarks.
Members Of the house were re-
minded of the enormous area of the
Lone Star state the other day when
a BILL introduced by Representative
Ball, to divide Texas into four Judi
cial districts, was read by the clerk
AS the reader waded through the
document he was obliged to enumer-
ate the counties and after he had
called off the names of a seemingly
interminable number a member on
the other side, who had been fidgeting
l..
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

The most troublesome member OF
my flock" said the parson, lis young
woman who wants husband"
MY most troublesome client" said
the lawyer, lis middle-aged woman
who wants a divorce"
The most troublesome patient
have" said the physician, sis spin
ster of uncertain age who doesn't know
what she wants"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

Two years ago. in Inez. KY. James
Moore of Warfeld, shot Thomas Run
yam in the left kneepan. The victim
became paralyzed, and died In ten
days. A short time ago Wallace
Brewer shot James Moore just as he
had shot Runyan. in the left kneepan;
paralysis resulted. and he died on the
tenth day after receiving the wound.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08

The First Boarding House in Hl,tory.
is the basis for unique little story
in the Four-Track News for May. 1t
is entitled THE Prophets Chamber"
is appropriately illustrated. and con-
tains information that every farmers
wife in New York and New England
should have.
The Four-Track News will be mailed
free to subscribers in the United States
for SO cents a year; single copies. 6
cents. Address Geo. II. Daniels. Pub
Usher. Grand Central Station. New
York.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-08
Naturally n. wa, Interested.

You talk mighty glib about the cor
ruption in this ward" interrupted
sallow faced man in the audience.
What business is 1t of yours? Have
you got any permanent investments in
this ward?"
Yes. | have" Numbered the orator.
Fellow citizens, l once lent that man
dollar"
He was not interrupted again.