The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-08-05
THE JERICHO pOSTOFFICE.
Pap Perkins, Postmaster, Tells About
Soft Drinks.

Copyright, 1902, by @. B. Lewis.)
About ten years ago it was decided
that Jericho should hold an old fashion
erybody had become enthusiastic over
the plan when Aaron Hopewell intro
duced an idea that busted things all to
smash. He figured on erecting a stand
and selling soft drinks to the thirsty
patriots, and no sooner had it become
known than discussion arose on every
hand, and public meeting was called
to settle the matter. Deacon Spooner
was elected chairman, and he lucidly
explained the case as follows:
"This meetin' has been called by a
sartin element that believes the repu-
tation of Jericho is in peril. As Is
known to all Of US, Aaron Hopewell
proposes to sell soft drinks on the day
of the celebration, and the question to
be decided tonight is whether soft
drinks will aid and encourage the God
dess Of Liberty in her empyrean flight
or whether they will drag the memo
ries of our patriot fathers in the dust
and cover them with obloquy. As for
myself, I'm sort of standin' neutral on
the question of whether soft drinks in
toxicate or only squench thirst. On
one occasion a bottle of sarsaparilla
beer exhilarated me to the pitch of
takin' OF my coat and offerin' to lick
any two men in town. and a g in drunk
three bottles of lemon soda and was
as humble as cat over it."
n%raa d. <<
say that Fourth OF July celebration
without lemonade, pop, ginger ale and
root beer would be almost a smirch on
the name OF liberty. The more patriot
ic man felt the thirstier he grew, and
no patriot could do his best on cold
water. He didn't know what a bottle
of pop might do if sold by a combine or
trust at 10 or Is cents, but as long as
the price was kept down to he would
guarantee it harmless. He wanted to
see enthusiasm, and he wanted the
lemonade painted red as well as the
town. He had subscribed 80 cents to-
ward making the Fourth get up and
hump herself, but if soft drinks were
to be counted out he felt that he must
respectfully withdraw his subscription.
Then Moses Blackburn rose up.
There was about seven feet of him,
and it was seen that he was in deadly
earnest and against soft drinks. He be-
gan by saying that he did not propose
to be one to bring disgrace upon one Of
the most glorious anniversaries in the
history of a nation. The American peo-
pie had won freedom while drinking
nothing stronger than buttermilk, and
when his grandfather got through
fighting at Bunker Hill he turned and
asked for nothing better than cold wa
| ter. Soft drinks were sly. They were
insidious. They were artful dodgers.
In his younger days while celebrating
the Fourth at Dobbs Ferry q bottle of
ginger ale had simply made him
sleepy. The next year at Tarrytown a
| bottle of the same stuff had caused him
| to start riot, in which three men
were killed. He had drunk lemonade
at a barn raising without disputing
that the whale swallowed Jonah, and
he had drunk pop at a circus and sail
ed In to lick the big elephant. He
wouldn't go SO far as to say that if
soft drinks were sold in Jericho on the
Fourth scene of carnage and desola-
ton would result but he felt sure that
most Of the paint would be rubbed on
the fences and the gate hinges broken.
There were calls for Truefnan Hen
| bricks, and he arose with reluctance.
He didn't want to take sides in the
| matter. He wanted to see Jericho
/ spread herself all over the earth on the
glorious Fourth, and yet he didn't want
the sun to set ON q scene Of slaughter
and confagration. He had been ex-
perimenting with soft drinks for Z
week past with z view Of deciding the