The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-02-28

| H"'1oA' oIuy-NO; I'm afraid TO
question the pop.-Judge.
Miss Withers-Are you a marrying
man! He-What do you take me for?
Miss Withers-Oh, this is so sudden!-
Town Topics.
| Sue Brette-How do you know the
gallery gods threw eggs at you? Ham
Lette-HoW do know? We gods, didn't
catch them in the act?-Chicago
News.
Neutrality-suspicious. means without
a name. Write sentence showing you
understand how to use the word. Small
Girl (writes)-"Our new baby is anon
ymous.'
Society-Socfety has to have it's foun-
dation, you know. Il suppose So"
Fancy anybody trying to be anybody
II there were nobody who was nobody!
New York Sun.
Never Too Young: The Child's Faith
er-Doctor, don't you think that baby
Is too young to submit to an operation:
The Doctor-My dear sir, you can't be.
gin too soon.-Life.
| "Wfll there be any honor for the man
who discovers the North Pole?" Ger
tainly! He will be great life saver"
"A life saver:' Yes; explorers will
cease going hen."-Chicago News.
docs your wife do much fancy
work = Fancy work? She won't even
let porous plaster come into the house
without crocheting red border around
it and running a yellow ribbon through
the holes"
Little Willie-Say, pa, what is the diff
ference between biography and autobi-
ography? Photography, my son,
shows man as he is, while autobiog-
raphy shows him as he thinks he is
Chicago News.
"Why do you call the fast bicycle
rider scorcher?' Because he goes
at hot pace, makes pedestrians boil
ing mad, warns up the police, gets
roasted in court, and then thinks the
whole thing is burning shame. Tit
Bits.
His Version: "What did papa say"
"He showed me the door," land what
did you say?" II said it was certainly
| a very handsome door, but not what l
had come to talk about. That made
him laugh, and minute later you were
mine. "-Tit-Bits.
doesn't it make you the least bit en-
vious to- see what elegant furniture
Mrs, Eyefy is putting into her house
next door?"s mot bit. My husband
says it will be sold by the sheriff with
in siS. months-and I'll be there to buy"
Chicago Tribune.
The Stamp OF Poetry: II don't see
much poetry in this" he said. Don't
you?'' she exclaimed; why, just see.
There's 'methinks' and here is may
hap. and, let's see-where is that, now?
Oh, yes, here it is-'haply'-why, it's
one Of the poeticalest little things l
ever saw"-Exchange.
"Suppose, Bobbie, that another boy
should strike your right cheek" asked
the Sunday school teacher, what
would you do?" "Give him the other
cheek to STRIKE" said Bobbie. ''That's
right" said the teacher "Yessum,"
said Bobbie, land if he struck that I'd
paralyze m."-Exchange.
Coming to the Point: Mr.. Grogan-
What power O. funerals they do be
>havin' at the church these days. Shure,
it's shtarted me thinking. Miss Casey
Thlnkin' av what? Mr.. Grogan-That
whin it come: tonne fur my funeral
would ye be the wildly ?-Philadelphia
Press.
Mr.. Newlywed Ito his young wife,
Jane, you didn't feed any tramps yes
terday, did you? Mrs. Newlywed-No,
love. Why? Mr.. Newlywed-Oh, moth
ing. An unknown tramp was found
dead beside the road just below here
with pie in his hand-that's all, Jane
Judge.
Piscatorial Delights: Mrs. Innocent
What did you enjoy most about your
fishing trip, dear? Mr.. Innocent-I got
| most excited when l was reeling in,
my love. Mrs. Innocent bursting into
tears)-And to-to-th- think you prom
Used me y-you wouldn't d-drink drop.
Harlem, Life. ..
'What have you ever done to deserve
the office to which you aspire?' asked
the voter. Nothing" answered the
candidate, frankly; "if had ever. done
anything to thoroughly qualify me for
so important position could proba-
bly, make great deal more money as
a private citizen" Washington: Star: =
she-You know. John, you promised
me a sealskin wrap and He!And
you promised to keep my stockings
darned, and you haven't done it. She
Week. you don't mean to say you'll
break: your. promise on that account?
He-z-Well, it's just like this: You don't
give darn and don't give wrap
philadelphia Press. ''.~ s.
Mrs Knox" sal the hostess at dim
ner, "your little boy doesn't seem to
have much appetite" mo, he doesn't.
that's fact" Don't be bashful, VIII
| lie," the hostess urged. won't you