Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-06-05

There Is no place where a news
paper comes in more handy that on an
open car on a wet day, especially II
one has an end seat. One can sit on
the paper and keep from getting wet"
says the Norwich Bulletin. Some news.
papers always were dry"
= + +
Now does the giddy, sportiye youth
escort the onlest only to the festive
festival. squander thirty cents for ice
cream and cake, and experience great
Joy in living. Oh, dissipation! oh,
pace that kills.
The young gentlemen, who this
evening will tell long suffering pub
lie all about everything, will be
around next week taking lessons from
the office boy on how to copy letters,
approach the firms debtors, and even
wash windows.
Standing around the hotel Hobbies Of
London, Sir Lucius c. Miles, Bart,
probably told the Britishers, as the
peace news came in. how his part
ner, Gen. Dick. licked the Spanish at
Santiago and didn't make half so
much fuss about it. s
= + +
Neither England nor the Boer finds
much consolation in the signing Of the
papers ending the war 1t has cost
the Briton more millions than the
Transvaal will return in many years,
while the Beers lose in independence
and must mourn their fairest and
bravest
The feeling that comes over a man
who places an alarm clock on a dish
pan, and instructs everybody in the
house to call him early so he can catch
train, and then husties to the depot
like a runaway cyclone only TO find
that the said train is more than two
hours late. is like small boy at a
serious meeting-it should not be heard.
!: 4. 4.
The horses used In Barberton have
become, through association with the
deep mud on the streets there. more
or less deep. sea animals. though the
report that a colt recently born there
was equipped With flippers, like
seal, is doubtless an exaggeration.
Now thpt the streets are actually 60
ing to be paved, Barberton horses will
hardly know how to act.
+ + +
The Ancient Mariners" wall about
Water water, everywhere, nor any
drop TO drink" has borne fruit, Mod
ern fishermen bear the awfulness Of
such condition I'M mind. as Is notice
able in the suspicious looking articles
which form part of the equipment of
some of the fishing excursions which
lenve this city.
Senator Foraker will have the finest
snddle horse in Washington, for I have
just brought him on from Kentucky
where there was nothing that could
touch him." said Mr.. r, E. Morand, Of
Lexington, at the Arlington.
" Duke is bright bay, 10 hands
21a inches high, and is the fnest-bred
and best-gaited animal in our state.
He has never failed to take first prize
at all the horse shows and fairs
where he was entered. He will carry
Senator Foraker in gentle rack to
the Capitol at a three minute clip, and
he is as gentle as lamb"
Washington Post.
+ + +
PRO Bono Publico" undertakes to
improve on the recent assertion in
this column that "A girl In n ham
mock beats two In crowd" by de-
claring: "A girl in hammock beats
two in n hammock" At great length
he defends his declaration. but the
most vital point he neglects. II he
intends to say "A girl in hammock
beats two girls in a hammock" well
and good; but as he fails to state who
the two" in the hammock are, Il
doubt-a painful, lingering doubt
arises. And on the other hand. II he
makes 1t plain that he means to say
that one girl in hammock beats two
girls in hammock. he has but stated
fact so manifestly obvious-so very
apparent to any young man in q posi-
ton to know, that he really might have
spared the ink necessary TO put his
thoughts on paper.
+ + Z