Waterbury Democrat., 1902-05-30
THE GIRL PHILOSOPHER.

The girl philosophers room was llke unto Babylon after the fall. The outer edges were paved with newspa- pers, books. dressing gowns and lin gerie. The center was a sight. pair of shoes, bleeding bottle of ink and half-opened laundry package of shirt waists, among other things, occu- pied the library table. The philoso- pher herself was sitting on her foot ill huge Morris chair, and deeply ab- sorbed in a book.
 Enter the fuffy-haired girl with a blinking toy terrier under her arm, fol lowed by the sallow young woman, got up in all the joyous garments of early spring and munching candy from a small gilded box.
 They stood awkwardly, for there was no place to be seated, the chairs and sofa being piled high with maga- zines and hats.
 Dump them and be comfortable ; invited the philosopher, with hospit- able smile. T have given up house. keeping. you know, to study domestic science
 ''The science of disorder,' inquired the sallow young woman
 ''Silence!' admonished the girl phil csopher. sternly Domestic science is the new education a step beyond the higher education.' It is taught in the very best boarding schools by wise wo- men who also board and who are be- yOnd the frivolities of marriage, men and honeymoons. It is pursued by young ladies who converse fiuently in Greek verbs and who have put away childish things-'
 The salloW young woman who had been surveying the room interrupted. "Then they do put away things .occa- sionally," she observed
 The philosopher looked scornful and replied: "One of the first rules of do- mestic science is that no article is beautiful unless it is usefuT-hence the chairs. She made a sweeping ges- ture, which included the Venus de Milo wearing her last years sailor hat.
 "Got anything to eat?" inquired the sallow young Wpman, irreverently Any marshmallow cake and tea, for instanceY'
 My dear young ladies' said the hostess. you should break yourselves of the habit of devouring such varnish- ed mysteries as marshmalloW cake. And teal Beware of delirium tremens- that's my advicG. Coffee is likewise harmful; it retards respiration and ruins the complexion I have there- fore''-she crossed the room in certain strides and drew two paper bags from a hidden draw-s.I have two varieties of uncooked, ready-to-eat cereals which may be efficaciously served with cream-only I have no cream in the house-and with granulated sugar-my sugar happens to be all loaf, but that doesn't matter-'
 Have you any dog meat?' interrupt ed the f1uffy-haired girl, looking at the toy terrier.
 Meats. commenced the girl philos- opher, while her friends dropped de- spondently, meats should be cooked with great care and consideration be- fore being taken into the system The fiues and the oven should be carefully Inspected"
 Have a bonbon,'' interrupted the sallow young woman.
 The philosopher bounced greediIy and hungrily upon a pink one with a large nut on the top.
 "The health of the next generation ;, she continued depends upon the ar dor; with which we girls embrace this new science of the home There will come time no doubt, when we all shall marry"
 The fuffy-haired girl blushed and the salloW young woman made another ir- reverent remark. 'They say she be- gan, that all women who are the vic tims of wife murderers belong to one peculiar temperament. I was just wondering if it was the domestic sci ence temperament"
 The atmosphere lowered. It looked as if there was going to be storm Then the fuffy-haired girl said sweet. ly: If both of you will come home to luncheon with me I will make you one of those omelets you are so fond of. can't talk about science and things. but l can cook"
 Will we goY returned the phiIoso- pher promptly. I haven't tasted anv- thing resembling food since I took m domestic science two weeks ago. will