Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-12-09
THE RETURN OF |
BILL CARVER

....By David II. TaImadge


Goose river branch Of certain great
western railway, was called upon one
morning to apologize ia behalf Of his
engineer and his apology. from end to
END, including stops and slowdowns,
,as the saying Is, was not entirely de
void of entertaining features.
"The truth Of the matter Is" said he,
addressing tie principal kicker, a tray
cling salesman from Milwaukee. ssthat
there's only one man on earth who TN
derstnnds the teakettle that we use In
place of a real locomotive on this line,
and his names Bill Carver. Bill knows
her from the track up. lie gives her a
pat here and a jab there. and she set
/ ties down to her PAGES like an old fam
| iIy horse. But let new man take
her. and she either gets on TO her hind
| legs and goes crazy or &. she sulks
and won't 60 at all werta mentioning.
| She's suIking this morning"
II should think sou sTpwied tie Mil
waukee man. looking ut his watch.
Were forty minutes late now. and I'll
miss my train on the other road.
Where is Carver. anyway? What do
they let him go away for without TAX
| ing his hanged old steam pot with
| him!
Hes at Geneva Lake by this time, /"
replied the conductor "He came down
with us last night. He's ON his wed
ding trip. BY George. You wouldn't
have known him, logged out as he was
| in the regulation black. with his hands
in kid gloves and his feet in patent
feathers. He could hardly drag his
gaze away from his bride long enough
| to recognize the teakettle: that's fact.
He was simply soaked full of love or
whatever it is, and he was purring like
| a kitten. I'd never have believed it of
him, for of all the mean things | ever
heard any one say about women as d
sex and about marriage as an institu-
| ton he'd said the meanest. He never
had any patience with idiots who re-
| pose confidence in petticoats. He said
women were all false as hades and
foolish as barnyard fowls. He was
married to his ridiculous old engine, he
was. and he never wanted anything
| better in this world. OF course we mar
ried fellows knew when he spouted
that sort of stuff that he'd been dis
appointed in some love affair and that
| he didn't really mean all he thought
he meant, but none Of Us was ever able
| to pump him out. So we just laughed
at him and told him that sooner or
later he'd meet something in petticoats
| that would jerk him over the line and
| into the roundhouse as a mogul jerks
sick switch engine. 1t made him
snort to tell him that. but it's precisely
what happened. Ii | ever saw a man
who'd lost the last vestige of his pow
Ell of resistance. it was him last night.
He was coal in the scoop of the fire.
man, nothing else"
sHow did it happen?v asked the Mil
waukee man, slaIcing again at his
watch end settling resgnedly into his
seat
"Well. as near IS / can make out
! from what was told at Whippleville
yesterday by chap who lives next
| door to Bills brides folks up at Corey
| Center it was R1cs.ly Bills fault that
he didn't get spliced long ago instead
of going away in a huff and turning
| himself into a make believe woman
| hater. The girl liked him all right, but
| she was ike most gigls-she didn't like
to seem too easy. Bill might have I'M
i darstood her If he hadn't been so lack
/ ing in ordinary do you call itg-
perspicuify. He sized up a woman just
as he did an engine. He expected def
mite results. When he pulled the throt-
tie. he expected her TO go. and when
| be put on the air he expected her to
stop, and when she didn't do these
/ things he got mad. Furthermore. he
gave the girl to understand plain enough
that be was dead gone on her, and that
was another mistake. He's fair, square
! and aboyeboard. Bill Is. and he has
/ mighty little patience with any one
| who tries to fake advantage of him.
He's no fish 10 be played on string, he
says.
Now, there never was a healthy girl
suppose. who wouldn't play with q
chap after she was sure she had him
hooked. It's the nature of 'em. And
this girl did things just to make Bill
mad. She fiirted with other fellows
and she had little spells OF false agony
| when she made him think he'd done
something she didn't like and wouldn'i
tell him what it was. and she twitted
! him on his looks, which aren't specially
| handsome. and altogether she carried
on in way to drive an honest man t.
desperation. although most men in Bilpi
place would have brought her UP witt
round turn And at last, one nigh
four years ago, Bill reached the limit
and for about an hour he read the rio
act to her. He was like life or dealt
special on new track-simply shut hi
eyes and made her run. Then whel
he'd got through he slammed his ha
over his eyes and bolted, never looking
1t the girl I'll bet So she was holding
out her hands to him and trying to ge
her talk pipe to work. A woman cal
.ell usually when she's gone too fan
and almost always she'll come dow
from her perch peaceably enough
she's given the right sort of a chance.
.He didn't go back to Corey Cente
after that until about two weeks agt
He wouldn't have gone then only tha
his ueeher was sick and wanted to BE
him before she reached the end Of be
run. So be got ten days lay off an
set his teeth together ais II be was g,