Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-03-27
HASHAH ! vi
= 9 ~

Evening Bulletin
Sarah-She's worth million. and Just
the right age for you. Jerry-Any girl
worth million is the right age for
me.-London TitBits
Because You are better than the man
you dcspse does not mean that you
are not worS" than those who dcspise
you.-New York Press.
Edith-You say Mr.. Goldley deceived
Edith drcadfully about his age?
Gladys-Ycs. poor girl. After they
were married he confessed that he was
only sixty instead of seventy five.
Cassidy don't We ate yer din.
ncr: Casey hure. this is Froiday. an
Oim wonderful Cassidy-What are We
wonderful! Casey-ls turtle soup fish
whin it's made out o cal?-Philadei-
phia Press.
Guest Gmpaticntly)-Say waiter. how
long have you been employed here?
WATERFRONT a week, sab. QUESTION,
is that all? Then must have given
my order to some other Waiter-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Pleasant While 1t Lasted: What
would you do if you woke up some
morning to find that you had inherited
million dollars?' I'D turn over on
the other side and try to dream it
again" Record Herald.
The Authors Privilege: An author
wrote to his publisher: Can | hope for
any royalties from my book this year,"
The publisher replied: Yes you can
hope. There's nothing in the world to
hinder you" -Atlanta Constitution.
The Test in Harlem GazZam tafter
he has succeeded in waking his wife,
Open the dorsh. Mrs. GaZZam lhead
out of the second-story window,-Are
you sober? Gazzam-Y esh. Mrs. Gaz-
zam-Then say reciprocity.-liarl
Life.
Collapsed Building: "Kape alive
Mike! We're rescuin' ye." Voice from
the debris)-ls big Clancy op there wild
ye? Sure he is" "Ast him wud he
be so kind as t step aft the rooms. I've
enough on top av me wdout him.
Brooklyn Life.
Why He Returned: did You come
back for something you forgotY asked
Mrs. barley, when her husband return
ed to the house a few minutes after
leaving. mo, my dear" replied he, Il
came back for something remember
ed."-Town Topics.
what is the matter?" asked the lit
erary mans friend. IL don't know
what l am going to do about this
weeks work" "\Nhat is the trouble?"
Il can't think of any interesting Ques-
lions to ask myself in my Answers to
Correspondents column. "-Washington
Star.
He-My dear, we have cause for
congratulation. l have just received
notice of an unexpected increase Of
ten dollars per month in my wages.
She-You dear sweet, lovely old boy.
How perfectly charming you are when
under the influence of the X-raise.-
Chicago Tribune.
Doctor binding patient emptying a
bottle of wine)-Here. here. my good
man, this will never do. That's the
cause of all the trouble Facetious
Patient-Weil. then, fill your glass,
doctor. Now we've found the cause,
the sooner we get rid of it the better.
Detroit Free Press.
Fast and Furious. -Backstop-I'm
glad to see that you are making
name for yourself as an author. old
man. Scriblet modestly)-Yes Hon
ors are being hcaped on me. Why, It
was only yesterday that | learned that
my latest book bad been thrown out
of the Boston Library. Bazaar.
Composite: Dashaway - Qulldrver
seems TO be fellow of eXtremes-one
who writes awful slush and sublime
prose, and who is at the same time an
idiot and genius. ClevcrtOn- " mere
did you get such an idea? Dashaway-
I've just been reading the reviews of
his latest book. IIarpcr's Bazaar.
Papa's -She-Isnt it love-
ly? Papa consents. He-Does he. real
ly? She-Yes. lie wanted to know
who you were. and told him you were
tape-clerk mt Scrimp * Co.'S. and he
seemed real pleased. lie-I am delight
ed She-Yes. and he said we could
be married just as soon as you were
taken into the firm.-New York Week
ly.
Quite another matter: Aarons-"Did
you hear dot latest aloud Finkelstein"
Jacobs-"NO. Vat vas it," AarOns-
Ivy, he gave twenty-five tousand dol
lars last Friday to dot leedle poy vat
vas run over nit dem street cars"
Jacobs-"Is Finkelstein gone CRAZY al
ready? VOt ais him dot he do such Q
ding" Aarons-"Oh. he vas on der
jury."-Life.
But, mamma" said the beautiful
South American heircss. do you be-
lieve will have any trouble in being
received in society in the United
StatesY IL don't see why" answered
her mother; you have plenty Of mon
ey. and you can make the best Of them
look like small change when ii comes
to being a daughter OF the revolution"
Sun.