Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1902-02-07
THE GRIDION CLUB.
THE MAROI Gf7AS OF AUSTERE
STATE DIGNiTARIES.
A Peep at the Court of Misrule Whose Doinss
are Never Reported Satrical Presentation
of Current Topics.
tFrom our regular correspondent

There is one date III the year which
should be marked on every Washing
ton calendar with a golden halo. 1t
is the day on which the famous news
paper mems club, the G ridion Club"
gives its annual banquet. On that
occasion the most sedate statesmen,
learned professors, martinez army Of
ficers and venerable judges lay aside
the austerity of their calling and in
dulge in the pranks which are sup
posed to be particularly dear to col
lege boys, amply demonstrating the
truth of the adage that men are but
children of larger growth"
A detailed description of this rather
remarkable entertainment has never
been written, for it is one of the I'M
written tenets of the club that the
speeches made shall never be reported.
Among those present at the banquet
this year were the President, General
Miles, Senators German, Depew,
Lodge, and in fact, all of them.
When the guests had assembled, Mr..
Robert J. Wynne, president of the
Club, appeared ut the entrance of the
banquet hall and vigorously rang q
huge, old-fashioned dinner bell and
Immediately the guests gathered
around the table and sang" Hear dem
BELLS"
When the first course had been dis
posed Of, one of the members, dressed
to represent "Big Mary" local
character who sells newspapers, ap-
peared with copies OF the Yaller Yawp,
takeof on the yellow Journalism of
the day filled with witticisms and sa-
tires, and printed in vivid colors.
Among other things, it contained,
under "scare head" of course, an
account of Senator Hoar's having
been captured by the Filipinos and
compelled to swallow his own
speeches, a description OF Pierpont
Morgan's having purchased all the
English lines of transportation and
refused to convey anyone to the coro-
nation of Edward VII until all the
front seats had been granted to Amer
leans, cablegram from Pekin an
nouncing that the Empress Dowager
had sent for Senator Beveridge to
manage the Celestial Kingdom, etc.
A mock convention was held and
much amusement created by the Sc
lection OF q committee to receive
Prince Henry of Prussia, Senator Cor
man being finally selected on the
ground that he was heir apparent to
the throne" General
Payne was introduced by the toast
master as d" Exhibit A" of the Roose.
welt Cabinet and the announcement
was made that in July next the roster
of the Cabinet would read Shaw, Will
son, Allison, Dolliver, Lacey, Hep
burn, Cousins and Lot Thomas, call
OF Iowa."
When the dinner was completed a
number OF the most venerable men,
bers disappeand and shortly returned
dressed as school children. One child
was late and appeared sadly bruised
and bandaged and walking with a
crutch. On the teachers demanding
the reason of the hardness and condi-
ton he replied: treason enough.
stopped to make social call al. the
White House." Mr.. Richard Watson
Glider, editor OF the Century, was pre-
sented with q number of articles for
his magazine, among them being
Presidents l Have Met and How
They Have Met Me-" by General Mel.
son A. Miles. Senator Hanna was
presented with gold brick by an al
legged Frenchman in consideration OF
his services in behalf OF the Panama
Canal" Shortly after ten O'Clock
Senator D., disguised as messen-
ger-boy, appeared with huge mes
sage for Senator Depew, which read
Mr.. Depew, it is ten O'Clock. Come
home"
Marconi's wireless telegraphy con.
tributed its share OF the fun displaying
q number Of pictures supposed to be
sent by the system. Among them
appeared likeness of Postmaster.
General Payne in gorgeous red on a
mammoth postage stamp with the in.
scription Use Payne's Penny Postage
Pellets" Another, OF Senator Hanna,
depicted in the costume of the tradi-
tional workingmsn, bore the legend
L" Marcus Arbitration Hanna, the
working girls friend" Still another
showed Whitelaw Reid in decolette
ball gown and carrying two American
Beauty roses. The train OF the skirt
was carried by Captain Clark and the
whole was labeled ITO the Kings
Taste"
Cuban reciprocity contributed it's
share OF the fun by a brief pantomime
in which two little pickaninnies la
beled Nicely and Rathbone and attend
ed by Cuban soldier appeared and
presented 10 Uncle Sam the entire
contents Of grip.sack. In return
Uncle Sam gave them two little toy
balloons labeled reciprocity" but
which, just as the boys were about to
take them, floated up to the ceiling
aud remained there while the picka-
ninnies vsinly and tearfully tried to
seize the attached strings, amid great
er laughter.
Two y" Poems OF Passion" alleged to
have been contributed by Ella Wheel
er Wilcox read az follows:
o Nav,
Where is Shaw?
In the Cabinet
Haw Haw Haw!
Bar out the Chinaman,
Do him up Brown.
He's too busy working
To vote in our town.
With great ceremony General
James H. Wilson WAS presented with
. boquet, a gorgeous sash and pair
OF tights to be worn at the coming
coronation. Mr.. German made
very happy speech, half serious and
half facetious and the President made
a speech in his happiest vein. What
he said will never be known except to
those present at the dinner, but it was
greeted with roars of laughter and
was followed by the most vociferous
applause.
Senator Depew's early call to his