Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1902-02-06
MARRIED AT
RAILROAD SPEED

gage car. WAS puHlnS Quietly when L
was startled by a farmer sitting on
trunk eXclaiming:
"No. 14O1, by thunder"
The baggageman looked at him in
quiringly.
"An' you're the baggageman too"
"Of course I'm the baggageman."
"YOu was a-runnin' this car whentwe
he'd a weddin' an weddin' tower all
to onct," replied the farmer.
''You don't mean it,
81 do mean it, an l never see any
one connected with that little affair
that don't shiver, an then l want to
hug 'em. / have had some close shaves
in my life, an that was the closest l
ever had. If it hadn't been fur that
feller that fust helped us out an then
prevented my gettin' a bullet through
nv head, I'd "a been slumberin' all
these years in our buryin ground"
You refer to the time when the gun
went off" said the baggageman. Il
confess l was as much frightened as
YOU were. To tell the truth, after
heard the report 1 expected to see you
fall and was surprised when you
didn't"
"My friends" l said, offering both
Havana cigar, Il never can bear to see
people enjoying a good thing without
sharing in the amusement. Tell me
the story"
"You see, stranger, Ann Eliza Per
kins N me, bein' bent on gitten hitch
ed, an me not bein' acceptable to the
ole man, we lighted out one mornin
from her home in her paws buggy,
calculatin' to ketch the train fur Quin-
cy that stopped at our station at $50.
"Waal, we was a-drivin' silentltke
outen the gate when up goes winder,
an ole Perkins head stuck out. | give
the mare cut, an we went lickety
split down the road. We he'd three
miles to make to the station an twen-
ty minutes TO do it in. But it didn't
lluhp lO ulItItllIt dS W Jul NlAiAN' -
was the time of the train an the time
the ole man would make a-chasln' us,
fer we knowed he'd follow with his
gun. We made the station in fifteen
minutes, but as we wasn't on prairie
we couldn't see whether the train was
a-comin' or not. Fact was the track
run around the base of a hill, an we
couldn't even hear the engine a-puffin'.
"You bet that was long five min
utes, Ann Eliza up on the platform
a-lookin' fur her dad, me with my ear
down on the rails a-listenin fur the
train.
"He's a-comin'r cried Ann Eliza,
a-turnin' pale.
"'So's the train said |, a-shakin'
with excitement, a-hearin' the rattlin
of the wagon an the click of the train
on the rails.
"When the train drawed up, we got
inter the baggage car. to be furtheresl
from the ole man. When we moved on
l put my head outen the door, an there
he was, a-hangin' on TO the rail of the
last car.
NTdIIlt . UP. Solll' iu- WV
"'Not a Bit said Chicago drum
mer who had folleyed us inter the car.
Wonder ef there's parson aboard.
"fThere's no time to find out |
said. 'S'pect the ole mans a-comin'
through the train mighty fast
"I'H play parson myself said the
drummer, an, whippin' off his cravat,
he tied white handkerchief around
his neck, buttoned up his coat. borryed
n pair of spectacles an told us to stand
up afore him fur to be married.
az hain't a-goin' to be married by Il
bogus parson,' said Ann Eliza. / want
n certificate, an a ginuine one too
"'YOu don't catch on to the game
said the drummer. When the ole man
comes, he'll think you're married, that
he's too late to break off the match, an
he'll give you his blessin'. Soons YOU
reach Quincy you kin git minister
| an be married regular
This pacifed Ann Eliza, an we
| stood up afore the drummer. He HAD
only time to yell as the door opened
| Man an wifer Perkins, seem he was
| too late, leveled his gun at me- but the
drummer was spry an knocked it up,
| an there, by gum, is the hole the ball
| made in the roof!
cole man. said the bogus parson,
| a-drawlin' his words, why try to sep
arate those who hev been joined to
gether in the holy bonds Of wedlock
Would you send this young man away
from his bride afore his time:
"Then the ole man broke down. lie
see how near he'd been to murder, an
he was too late to save his daughter
from a-marryin' me, which, reckon
was a bad piece of luck fur Ann Ella
He began to cry, an Ann Eliza went t
him an put her arms aroun' him an
begun to cry, an I, not to be out in the
cold, begun to cry, an the bogus par
son-he was really soft hearted felleI
tux his handkerchief from his neck
an filed it copiouslike.
GLOW could you hev done itE sob
bed the ole man.
ooh, paw cried Ann Eliza, IT
hain't-
"'My dear said the drummer, inter
ruptin', I'm sorry hain't got no blanB
certificates with me. but I'll fill one out
as soon as we get to Quincy
"The ole man put out his han TO me
an hoped I'd be good to his dear little
gal, which made me feels if I'd beer
a-stealin' apples often his best tree
When we reached Quincy, we shoob
him long enough to git married real
the drummer tux him off-an' that's
the end of the yarn. Isn't that how II
was, Mr.. Baggage SmasherW
you've told it beautiful
JULIAN VARNHAM.
Meetings In Russia.