The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-13
A Man on Mems Faults.

Robert Hichens.
The sexes will always indulge in recrim-
ination. We love our grievances. / never
knew what the look Of real happiness was
upon a human face till one day when L
heard e woman declaring that men had
made women in England more wretched
than the black slaves in the hole of CAL
cutta.'
The controversy over the burning ques-
ton OF whether men or women are the
more successful as housekeepers is not I'M
amusing. Women are very indignant at
the assertion that men are more beloved
by servants than they are: that servants
cling 10 the unmarried male as the limpet
10 it's fostering rock. while they give no
tice more readily than satisfaction to the
distracted spinster. 70 say nothing OF the
bew1ldered wife. Facts are facts, how
ever. There is no doubt that servants as a
rule would rather serve a man than wom-
an. They say we give less trouble. Serv-
ants assure me also that they tip about
half what men tip. One lady 1 met, after
staying in a hotel for two months and Civ
ing the housemaid endless trouble presented
her on departing with the munifcent sum
of one franc. The housemaid. who has a
sense of humor, proposes. believe, 10 wear
II as a charm.
Some angry ladies declare that the rea-
son servants will not stay with them is
thar men once married become intolerably
trying" are never satisfied with house
hold arrangements and worry their wives
into a state of hysteria, which the wives
very naturally pass on to the servants. 1
afraid this is sometimes true enough.
There are great many trying men going
about.
There is the man who will ask questions
at meals of his wife, who has not cooked
the dInneI
why. - says plaintively, why, Caro-
line. are these parsnips as hard as brick
bats?" or why does this cabinet pudding
taste OF onions?"
He might just as well ask why the earth
Is round. In the first stages OF married
life the housekeeper endeavorS TO find an
swers to these conundrums- She launches
forth into history Of the habits OF pars-
nips or brings her wild feminine magma
ti0E to bear upon the thousand possible
contingencies which might lead a cabinet
pudding, however discreet, into a liaison
with the vegetable of tears. But time wears
on and time wears out, and the psyche
logical moment inevitably arrives when to
all such riddles she snaps out a because
love, which has been lowering, perhaps,
above the parsnips and the cabinet pud-
ding, spreads his wings and gives notice
like the cook.
The man who prides himself on never
complaining Is very trying When things
go wrong. IN his opinion, when. for in
stance, his egg at breakfast is too SOFT is
too hard, = hen the soup at dinner has too
much salt IN It. the curry too little pep
per. he does not say anything, but he looks
as II he were on the point of bursting into
tears. and only controlled himself because
was contemplating other men: In
vain TO asRVlin what is the matter. Moth
ing" he replies. apparently choking down
the rising sobs- The wife has to divine the
trouble. Such a man has planted the
wrinkles In many q womaa's face.
Some men are never satisfied with the
way their beds made Either the
housemaid has drawn up the bedclothes too
high. so that the man, according to his own
account. has to rest his chin during the
night upon the summit of Himalaya of
turned-back blanket. or she has tucked so
much IN at the bottom that his poor chest
IS left TO tbs mercy or every wind that
blows about the bedroom. One night the
sheet Is '.cFinkled," owing to improper
adjustment at the sides of the mattress;
on another some mysterious disease,
brought on, of course, by that micrObe the
housemaid. engaged by the wife, who
fought to have seen at once, etc, has at
tackled the bolster. giving ii Jumps" which
have. of course, rendered sleep impossible.
The poor wife, whose insomnia has been
solaced by her husbands perniciOus snOr
ing, at length turns and rends the microbe.
husband says, ut Is very odd. Sophie, that
you can never keep a servant"
But recriminate as we will, we men adore
women, asserts that Sapent bachelor, and,
IN my crazier moments l am bound to say
often think they rather like US.