The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-31

the drinks, and Algy could come back
with the declaration that Algernon Cecil
was responsible for the bill. Then Percy
with the most killing innocent look could
turn to the bar boy and ask him if he
cared who paid the bill. Of course the
bar boy always insisted that he did not
care a rap and then Percy and Algy
would gleefully shout: 'Well, pay for
the drinks yourself
All this was pronounced the most reck-
less thing on record by the other fellows,
but after time the bar boys learned
the joke and it was up to Percy and
Algy to look for new one.
Percy found it. Algy came in and
found Percy dancing a clog about the
room and answering the aston1shed look
Percy explained the new one that would
surprise the other fellows to the faint
ing point.
This is simply the best one ever,
Algy," declared Percy as he picked up
the funny paper You see we go into
cafe and we order straight whiskey. OF
course, we can't drink it, but we must
order it just the same to carry out this
joke. When the bar boy hands us the
bottle we must pour out whisky until it
runs over the edge of the glass.
we must pick some place where they
have big rude bar boy. The bar boy
will look at the size of our drinks and
get mad. We will have a five-dollar bill
down on the bar The bar boy will look
at US and then he will growI on. some
thing about our wanting to take a bath
instead of a drink.
Then said Percy, 1--WE will spring
our joke. We will point at the bill and
draw ourselves up and look real digni-
fed If he is an Irishman I will say You
big, fannel-mouthed, bog trotter we don't
want to stand for your saucy way a mo-
ment. We have money to pay for these
drinks. We pay the money down on the
bar and take as much as>aSou want. If
the drinks cost so cents take out 50 cents,
and if they cost a dollar take cut a dol
lar, but don't insult gentlemen when they
come into your place
'That, Algy, my boy, will stump the
bar boy, for as I have been reading in
this humorous paper he will be unable
to argue back. We will go out after
dinner and work the joke and then come
back and tell the other fellows ABOUT it,
Algy was willing to hold up his end of
the team and after dinner that evening
Percy and Algy started out to secure the
new claim to first honors in the joker
class. The first class drink factories
We're ignored for Percy and Algy were
looking for mean rude bar boy.
At last the place was reached and
pushing in through the door Percy and
The victim was most certainly a bad
looking bar boy but the story Percy read
claimed that the bar boy would be
stumped so the joker team ref .sed to
feel frightened
The team approached the bar and
Percy pulled out a five-dollar bill Percy
spread the bill out in front of the bad
looking bar boy and Algy ordered two
bourbons.
''Wot?' growled the bar boy with the
bad face.
eve want two drinks of whisky" de-
clared Percy in naughty tone and then
he reached over and slyly kicked Algy's
shin to announce that the joke was
working fine.
do youse wants thin widout flavor
in'?' asked the bar boy still growing
I'VE do" replied Percy.
The bar boy pulled out two glasses and
placed them on the bar. Then he filed
two more with water and placed the
water glasses beside the empty ones
Then he showed out mean looking bot
tie Of brown colored varnish and, look
ing for all the world like a strong man
attempting to push a house over, leaned
against the bar to watch Percy and
Algy.
Percy could hardly keep his face
straight and Algy just wanted to laugh
right out loud. Percy tipped the bottle
and poured out the varnish until it leak
ed over the top of the glass and spilled
on the bar. Algy reached for the bottle
and poured as hard as Percy had poured.
The bad bar boy looked startled at the
size of the drinks but without a word
he reached for the five-dollar bill and
then turned to the cash register. The
cash register bell dinged just once and
then the bad bar boy turned and dumped
four dollars down on the bar.
Percy staggered and clutched at the
woodwork.
whats ths?" he gasped.
Dat. why OATS your change" smiled
the bar boy.
but how much do you charge for q
glass of whisky?" protested Percy.
I'VE generally charges two bits fer two
drinks butCwe always needs de coin car
ried in here by fresh mugs an SO I
guess youse had better make no holler
about it. I might ave asked youse if
yer wanted a towel wild de bath but we
is short on towels tonight
That was the entire speech Of the bad
bar boy but as he carelessly started to
roll up the sleeves of his bar coat Percy
and Algy decided to overlook the change
Percy and Algy now confine their team
work to the ''well pay for the drinks
yourself, joke.
Painless Dentistry