The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-10-18

in shtoves an has chillblains in July.
Such a man is niver cont:nted till he's
started somebody off FIR tn northeast
north. An he has no throuble to find
man. Mex to bein' invited on pri-
vate yacht to sail in tn Middyteran-
yam. tn incest thing a millyionare can
de FIR We is to make an Attic explorer iv
We
TIL prelim naries is great sport. FIR
two years We go around tn country
Ietchrin' on What l will see in tn Ar
tic regions whin 1 get there if at ALL
Fin'lly We set off with tn fleet, consist
in iv ship f'r ye'ersilf, three FIR tn
provisions, two FIR tn clothes an wan
FIR tn diaries.
They'se also a convoy. Til business
iv tn convoy is to dhrop in at Throm-
soc in Norway an asst FIR news iY ye.
Thromsoe is wan iv tn farthest north
places that amy explorer has been; but
it we'll repays a visit, bein' thrivin'
bustlin' Swede city with good club.
Afther tn long struggle with tn pitt
liss ice machine it is very pleasant TO
dhroD in on this hospital community
an come back that night be thrain.
Well. as / was sayin', wan explorer
starts off in fur suit an has tn time
iv his life an tn other explorer stays
at home an suffers tn crool hardshipS
an bitther disappintments iv life IN
Brooklyn. Lashed to his rockin' chair,
he shivers ivry time tn wind blows an
he thinks iv his hardy partner facin' tn
purls iv that far-off region iv ice an
snow an funny little Esqueemo women
in union garments iV fur He's in
Greenland now; he's battlin' with tn
deadly ice foe; now he's rasslin' with
Polar bear; he's up he's away; he's
reached tn pole; he's pullin' it up be
tn roots; bravo Baldyi An so he goes
till his hands is all chapped firm think
in iv tn cold an his leg is lame firm
tn encounter with a polar bear an his
kin chair is in danger iv bein' dash
- to r.eces again tn threacherous
pianny. An wan day a message comes
firm tn other explorer:
Rio Janeiro-We have ayturued
baffled. but not defeated TIL picked
walnuts give out befure we reached tn
West Indies. AS far as we've gone
we've had excellent raysults TIL cap'n.
tn mate, tn cook, tn stewart an
eighty per clint iv tn crew is in ir'ns
an as soon as I've got this tillygram
off I'm goin' in to punch tn surgeon
l congratulate We Ye'er name will
stand high among tn binnyfactors iv
science. We have demonstrated be-
yond fear iv contradiction that tn
gulf sthreem is JUS where it was an
that volcanoes amt what they are
cracked up to be. Our motto is: 'Niver
give up tn ship: it's too comfortable
Who's ye'er banker here?'
Whin tn millyionaire dies iv ex-
posture, victim TO science, tn mariners
rayturns an letchers on tn subject
'Quarrels l have had in tn frozen
north
Talk about tn terrors Nv Arctic ex-
ploration, Hinnissy. There's where ye
get thin. Did We liver go TO an Arctic
exploration fletcher? l did wanst They
was wan down at tn brothers school
las WHITTIER. I've been lame liver since.
None iv it in mine, if We PLACE. It's
too hot wurruk in thin clothes An
aven if We get up near tn pole. what's
ii good FIR? TIL climate is disagreed BILE.
an tn s'cfety is monotonous. Ivry-
body dhresses alike TIL wan tailor
makes tn clothes FIR pah, nah. Lucille
an tn Polar bear out iv tn same pat
thern. If We go to coort a girl. We don't
know befure she speaks whether tits
heTsilf or her Uncle Mike. I heard iv an
Artic explorer wanst that held hands
with Swede sicond mate FIR over an
hour befure he realized his mistake.
No, sir, no Attic explorations FIR me.
/, ayether pers' n'lly or be check. But if
| did go into it. 1 know who I'd sind.
! I'd not fool around with people who
begin to cought within sight iv tn car
: barns. Ia utilize tn folks in tn neigh
/ borhood. I'd pathronize home indus
! thries. TIL Pole fr IN polars, say L
/ They mus be hundherds iv la-ads up in
4 that part iv tn wurruld tha'd be will
In to earn an honest dollar be discov-
! erin tn pole. With thin 'twud be like
We goin' down to explore tn stock yards
bet nanny iv thin knows tn pole as
I we'll as I know Haley's slough. Ye'C
! prob'ly find they've hung the washin
on 1t f'r years, an NANNY ~ the kids
has Skinned up it"
Who'd We sind2" asked Mr.. Hen.
messy
Esqueemos." said Mr. Dooley.