Evening star., 1902-01-18
STILL ANOTHER VERSION

The habitues of totally tough gin joint
located on prominent corner Of that sor-
did section of Washington known as Foggy
Bottom grinned spontaneously and with a
suspicion of righteousness when a dapper
chap the veritable essence Of fashion.
pushed aside the swinging screen doors
last Saturday night. and, after hesitating
and glancing about somewhat apprehen-
siveiy, advanced to the bar in timid man
ner. How this dream of creature, wear
ing silk hat and attired in evening full
dress. CHANGED to wander into the exclu-
siva bounds Of Foggy Bottom Is matter
for surmise and speculation. The purpose
OF this narrative is met by the fact that
cry ear was strained. as he leaned toward
the bartender. who, incidentally, closely
resembled bull terrier. and with voice Of
softest tone remarked:
Can l get brandy and soda, plsase?"
Better give him milk, Bill" interjected
specimen, perhaps of humanity. who up
to this time had been engaged over in a
corner in discoloring box of sawdust
that served as q cuspidor.
Nav, the treats on me-" almost roared
brawny individual. He appeared to be
about as gentle as a snorting locomotive.
as he staggered forward and slapped the
slender stranger on the shoulder with the
force of pile driver. "Bil. bring out
yer best five-cent whisky for the gent and
sling In a dash of bitters."
Il thank you very much" commented
the dainty looking stranger, "but really /
never take whisky--don't like it, you
know
You'll drink this and you'll like it, too"
asserted the bully, who insisted on playing
host. The other loafers crowded around
to see the fun, as the man who had called
for the whisky raised the glass with the
evident Intention of forcing the we'll
dressed youth to partake of the poisonous
contents Wa
appointed. Carefully buttoning his top
coat, the dapper chap placed his hat more
firmly on his head, and
Beginning with this paragraph the reader.
from experience of late, has ample cause
to expect something like the following:
Right here the Howling Humorous eluci-
dators of wit TOR the weekly comic papers
would recite with much giee that the sup
posed pet of society was none other than
Professor Hercules, the physical director
at one of the leading local gymnasiums,
who was on his way home from a recep-
tton and athletic evening at the institu-
tion with which he was connected. Of
course, the aforesaid howlers would go on
to relate how the professor, with ease,
tossed the bully across the bar and against
the mirror. smashing the same; and then
after knocking down three of the threat
enfng bystanders who were in his path
calmly walked from the saloon and disap-
peared before the gang recovered from the
surprise occasioned by the unexpected
turn affairs had taken. But the writer
has made it a rule to stick to the truth.
Therefore he feels compelled to recount that
the bully forced the cheap whisky down
the throat of the weak stranger and, amid
the laughter of the assemblage, crushed
his silk hat. and showed him into the
street, the youth sneaking away in the
darkness
AS it is high time to launch a new YER
sion of this tbreadbare theme 1t Is there
fore declared that nothing of what is in
cluded within the quotation marks hap
pened. Here is the accurate conclusion:
After buttoning his coat and adjusting
his hat the youth suddenly turned and ran
through the doorway. The bully took az
ter him. The youth stumbled and fell over
an unfamiliar step. Upon him landed the
bully. A stalwart policeman who appeared
from around the corner at that moment
grabbed both men, rang for the patrol
wagon and sent them to the station,
charged with "disorderly conduct" The
youth gave a fictitious name and was re-
leased on depositing S5 as collateral Not
possessing the money, the bully was locked
up. In the Police Court Monday morning
the youths collateral was forfeited and
the bully was sent down for fifteen days