The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-03-06

temptfble scoundfel, and | told him so.
Big Man-Dld lie knock you DOWN.
Small Man-No; | told hlm-er-
through the telephone.
iTeacber-Now. Susie. you may con.
struct Il. sentence in which the word
""literary" occurs. Susie after much
thought)-Little Willle's hands were
literary black with dirt.
"Who married your" asked the JUS
4 tlce OF a colored citizen, who had been
brought before him for some domestic
/ trouble. you did, suh," was the re-
! ply; but amt voted fer you sense"
Her Father-Well, sir, what can lido
for you? Her Lover-I-er-called to
see If you-er-would give assent to my
marriage to your daughter. Her Faith
er-Not a cent, sir; not n cent. Good
day.
Proud Mother (complacentyl- My
! daughter is studying the language
abroad. She speaks French and ltal-
ian as well as she does English. VS.
! ltor Qnnocently)-And does she speak
English well?
Teacher-W What is meant by medium
of exchange!n Watmanr
Teacher-What is the medium OF ex.
change-what do you take TO the store
with you when your mother sends you
for groceries? WilIle-The book.
Mab-Do you think these carnations
are becoming 10 me? Fred-Oh, yes;
but there are other flowers which |
would rather see you wear. Mab-Pray
tell me what they are and | Will wear
them for you. Fred-Orange blossomsl
'N"What Is the nature of this new fan
l.gled nnlddy which they call the golf
Fling spinef" THAT" responded Cyni-
sfus. lis easy. Cooling spine is what
abe old man used to have after hard
days blowing. but he called 1t the
backaehen
81 see Mr.. Marlin has put a naphtha
engine into his yacht, so that he can
make it 20 when there Is no breeze"
sYes; and MI Perfume Is putting sails
in his naphtha launch, so that he can
make IT, 20 when the engine won't
work. - Puck.
- Tammany Politician arranging for
puslo at political meetingl-lsn't that
dig pfleeY You may not have TO play
half dozen times during the whole
ftenlng. Brass Band Leader-But, my
dear sir. we have TO sit there and listen
10 the,speeches.
s+Why. do poets wear long halr7"
asked the young woman who is anx-
Ious TO learn. My DEAR answered
the young woman who believes there
Is no such thing as modern literature.
yif they didn't wear long hair how
would we know they are poetsf"
Mr. Wheatpit--Aiy failure is the talk
pf the street. At the meeting OF my
creditors to-day | arranged to pay 90
cents on the dollar Mrs. Wheatpit-
offer moments liguring)-Oh, Henry,
Isn't that lovelyg Then the $50 hat l
had sent home to-day will only cost
half price.
Mother-Ethel Is the very image of
What | was at her age. He-Reallyl
shouldn't nave thought 1t possiblel
Mother. lcoldly)-Alay | ask why2 He
(see his error, and striving to rectify
ip-Oh-er-l WAS forgetting what q
long time ago that must have BEEN
Punch.
A teacher, cateehising class out of
the regular order of school exercises,
asked boy pupil the oft-repeated ques-
ton: rs marriage fallure|
"No'm," he answered Its a mis-
take. The recess bell rang just then,
and he hasn't heard II since in that
school.
aAlr. Bunker looks worried these
days" "les. another addition to his
family arrived last week" But he's
enormously wealthy. Why should he
worry over another mouth to feed"
'It,isn't that. but the thought that it's
another one to buy golf balls for
eventually"
A stalwart Life Guardsman In Lon
don strolled lelsurely down the street,
and, approaching an eXpectant boot
black, pompously placed one enormous
foot on the polishing block. For mo-
meat or two the lad gazed in wonder
ment at the expanse Of leather spread
befbre his eyes, and then he hailed a
colleague on the other side of the street.
"HE Bill" he, shouted, lend us some
polish. Hive got a flarmy contract"
A-young man, contemplating matri-
moiiiat felicity, took his fair Intended
to the Nome OF his parents that she
might be introduced TO tue old folks.
This is. my future wife. said. The
yoXg AnsE. proudly turning to pqter
famallas, who. was canny Scot, Now.
father, tell me caalidly. what you
think of her" The old man eyed the
blushing bride elect critically for fully
two minutes then answered with DELHI
Grafton "Well, John, can only say
you have shown much better taste than
she has"