The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-15
HUMoRs OF READY REPARTEE.
Some Bright Things That Have Been
Said at the Right Moment.


Nondon Tit-Bits.)
It is one Of the most common and
annoying experiences of life to discov-
er, when it is too late. what a smart
retort one could have made If one had
only thought Of it in time.
As specimen of ready wit it would
b--Shcult TO beat the retort OF Charles
Burleigh. the great opponent OF the
, slave trade. He WAS in the middle OF
one of his eloquent denuneiations of
slavery when q well-aimed and very
rotten egg struck him full in the face.
This" he said calmly, as he pro-
duced his handkerchief and wiped his
face, is a striking evidence of what /
have always maintained-that pro-
slavery arguments are LInsOund."
The late Mr.. John Bright was fire.
Quentiy very happy in repartee. Once,
N the course of a speech which was
punctuated by Interruptions, he was
saying, Personally I do not feel dis
posed to wage war against these Philis-
tines, when an unruly member OF his
audience shouted, '.Hee-hawt" III.
however" Mr.. Bright continued with
out pause, my friend at the back of
the hall viii lend me one of his laws
I shall be encouraged to reconsider my
attitude, in view of the historic sue
cess of Samson when provided with a
similar weapon
9 o @
This reminds one Of a somewhat
similar happy retert by another poll
tician whose speech was constantly IN
terrupteG by cries of Speak Gp.H
''Louder." from one OF his audience.
Fixing his eye on the offender, the
candidate said calmly and impressive
ly: Il do not propose to raise my voice,
because think the ears of the gentle
man who interrupts me are quite i0ng
enough to hear even at that distance
A good example of the witty answer
that turns away wrath was furnished
by the Able de Voisenon. who had
been unfortunate enough TO offend the
great Condo and to lose his favor
When the able went TO court TO make
his peace with the offended prince. the
latter rudely turned his back upon him.
Thank heaven, sir" the able ex-
claimed. Il have been misinformed:
Your highness does not treat me as if
L were an enemy"
Why dc you say that?" the prince
demanded.
Because, sir" answered the able.
your highness never turns your hack
on an enemy"
The great Duke of wellington an
swered a similar insult with equal, IL
more crushing cleverness. When the
French king introduced one of his field
marshals 10 Wellington, the field mar
shall turned his back on his former en-
envy and conqueror. Louis PHILIPPE was
naturally indignant, and apolcgized to
the duke for such rude behavior.
Pray forgive MIN, SIRE" the iron
duke said, quietly; Il am afraid 1t was
1 who taught him to do that in the
peninsula
g
NJ. Grevy, when French president,
once extrica ted himself from a prediea-
ment with wonderful presence OF mind.
He was being conducted around the
salon by an eminent artist when he
saw painting which dispIeased him
What a daub." ne exclaimed;
whose is it?'
That picture, NJ. le President said
his eicerone, is my own work"
Ali" said the president, without
any sign Of embarrassment at his awk-
ward mistake, Gin our country. when
We particularly wish to purchase a
thing, we always begin by running it
down." and true to his part, he pur-
chased the offending painting there and
then.
The late Sir Frank Lockwood had /
few superiOFs in the art of repartee. !
The genial lawyer was a tai man, and !
for some reason not altogether. trans /
pei SAAb e1i AAiANtS ldNAADeE OF MS audi l
ence once called out TO him in the mid /
die of his speech, go it, telescope
My friend is mistaken in applying 1
that term to me-" Sir Frank quietly /
said; 'he ought to claim it for him |
self, for, though he cannot draw me |
out. think I can both see through him /
and shut him up"
. @ .
On another occasion one Of his poiit- |
ical opponents rudely called out in the /
middle Of a speech, "An lawyers are /
rogues."
Il am glad" Sir Frank politely re-
joined, Ito greet this gentleman as a 4
member of my profession. but he need |
not proclaim our shortcomings to the /
world /
Equally prompt and happy was the
retort of a youthful-looking member of 1
parliament, who was advised by a /
bibulous member of one of his audi !
ances to go home to his mother"
1 think, the young candidate said, /
my friend might follow his own advice |
with advantage, for he does not seem /
to have Outgrown his affection for The /
bottle