davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Time to Stop.


Among the best stories recorded by
well-known angler is one about
Scottish laird who was one day re-
lating to his friends at the dinner
table the story of fine fish he had
caught.
Donald" said he to the servant be-
hind his chair, an old man but a new
servant, "how heavy was the fish
took yesterday"
Donald neither spoke nor moved
The laird repeated the question.
"Weel," replied Donald, ut was
twal' pund at breakfast, it had gotten
to achteen at dinner time and 1t was
sax-and-twenty when we sat down tc
supper wi the captain.
Then. after a pause, he added. I've
been tellin' lees a my life to please
the shooters, but I'll be blowed II I'm
going to tell lees moo, in my old age
to please the fushers!'
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
LABOR CONTROLS ANsoNIA.

Labor is we'll represented in the
municipal government of Ansonia.
Conn. Stephen Charters, the labor
mayor, was inaugurated recently, and
of the fifty-fve appointments at his
disposal, he announced fifty-one. For
ty-seven of these appointees are men,
bers of trades unions, and the other
four are strong advocates of organized
labor. The mayor made no political
distinctions in his appointments,
dividing the principal offices almost
equally between Republicans and
Democrats In his message he calls
on his appointees to conduct the af-
fairs of the city honestly, fearlessly
and without thought Of expediency.
He expects the members of the board
of education, whom he warned, to
call "a sharp halt upon the custom of
changing text books several times or
even once year, because it was a
hardship to many parents who were
too proud to ask the city to buy books
for their children. The present ad-
ministration of Ansonia shows what
labor can do when united and what it
ought to do.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

There is no reason why the clothes
cleaned at home cannot be ironed up
to the same standard Of excellence that
comes from sending them to the laun-
dry. All that is necessary to attain
the desired object is the purchase OF
a package of Defiance starch at any
grocery. Use it once and you will un-
derstand why clothes ironed at the
laundries have that mild, glossy APP
pearance. All first-class laundries use
Defiance starch. If there is no grocery
in your neighborhood that Keeps it
they will send for it on request. Made
by the Magnetic Starch Co., Omaha.
Neb.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

the utmost confines of the elrth, and
are projected far into the future. Much
labor has Seen following like pro-
grams. and it may be said to be COM
pretended, as far as North America
is concerned in the Federation OF La
Dor whose membership is found from
the Atlantic TO the Pacific and from the
northwest extremity of Canada to the
island of Porto Rico, the most south
eastern possession of the United
States. Even across the Pacific in the
Philippines, are craftsmen who carry
working cards of the great American
Labor organization. At the convention
there are also fraternal delegates
from England, France, Belgium and
other parts of Continental Europe.
Capital is cosmopolitan. 1t knows no
mere political boundaries. Organized
labor is not different from capital in
that respect. Both are affected, some
times vitality, by conditions existing or
suddenly arising in countries remote
from their native land. Hence none
can safely and successfully guide the
activities of either, except those who
take cognizance of and assign the
proper values to factors not always
close at hand or strongly evident at
present. 1t follows, with the closer
relations now existing between all
parts of the earth. that the standard
of efficiency of leaders has been rails
ed. and there is for both labor and
capital, less room than ever for the
hasty, the ill-informed, the reckless
captain. And far less place for him
who would arbitrarily abolish the
economic method to which world
has accommodated itself.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Man with the stewpan.

In the Barbatelli estate, north of
Pompeii, the skeleton of man-evi-
IDENTIFY fugitive from the eruption of
70 A. D.-has been found, says the
Athenaeum. When struck by death he
was carrying, tied in bundle by
means of cord. (made Of hemp the
following objects of value: An ex-
quisite silver stewpan. (casseruola),
weighing 500 grammes, the handle of
which is ornamented with shell-fish
and mollusks Of various kinds; a soup
spoon with broken handle; spoon
for mixing hot drinks, silver penny
of Domitian, and two keys. There
were also, lying in heap, 1877 copper
pence, the Oldest dating from the time
of Agrippa, the latest from the time
of Titus.-Detroit Free Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
DIGGING A GREAT TUNNEL.

Like certain armies of the past
there are some railroad trains which
must get into Italy. The train of the
Jura- Assumption system, for example,
leave Lake Geneva behind and go roll
ing up the Valley of the Rhone, until
at Brieg, an Alpine village of Caesaric
legends, the mountains hem in the
path altogether. Only twelve miles
and half away lies Italy; but these
are miles of mountain. And yet eX-
actly here, writes Eugene p Lyle, Jr,
in Everybody's Magazine, is an i'm
portant point in commercial strategy
for the mutual invasion of northern
Europe and the Latin peninsula. For
fifty years men have looked at that
twelve and a half miles of mountain,
crossed by the wild and terrible Sim
plon Pass, and figured how to do away
with it. There were scores of plans;
but finally the most costly and most
daring, and yet the simplest, was
chosen, namely, to go right through.
In 1891 the plan was submitted to the
Swiss government. In 1895 the Swiss
and Italian governments ratified a
treaty for having the tunnel between
them. At once the Jura-Simplon let
out the contract for building the tun-
mel, which must be delivered five and
a half years from November 10, 1898,
when the work was begun. The pen
atty for delay will be one thousand
dollars day with bonus of as much
for each day ahead of time. The tun-
mel is to be twelve and one quarter
miles long, with smaller tunnel for
ventilation, parallel to the first at a
distance of eighteen and half yards.
Under future contract the second
tunnel will be made the same size as
the first. for return track. Three
thousand men on each side of the
mountain are opening this path be-
tween Switzerland and Italy. Drills a
yard and half long and as thick as
mans forearm eat into the solid rock
at the rate of yard and half in fif-
teen minutes. Nine holes are bored at
time, and each is charged with
more than six pounds of dynamite.
The dynamite splinters the rock out
clearly to the depth of the holes, and
the debris-50O tons of it every
twenty-four hours-is hauled away
and dumped by an electric crane be-
yond the mouth of the tunnel. The
workmen advance at the rate of about
twenty-three feet day. The last Of
fetal report, April list, showed prog
ress OF nearly three miles from the
Swiss side and more than two miles
from the Italian side, over five miles
in all. This means that the contract
ors are we'll up with their schedule.
Within three years train will leave
Brieg. Switzerland, be lost for twenty
minutes, and come out at lselle, Italy.
To make that little journey possible
will have cost fourteen million dollars,
but the difference between the tunnel
and the Simplon pass over the noun
tains will be the difference between
twenty minutes and nine hours
Youths Companion.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

days in bed with intense pain and suf-
fering. 1 was under the physicians
care for over year without any relief,
when my attention was called to Lydia
L. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound by
several of our Mormon women who
had been cured through its use.
l began it's systematic use and inn
proved gradually in health, and after
the use of six bottles my health was
completely restored, and for over two
years 1 have had neither ache or pain.
You have truly wonderful remedy for
women. Very sincerely yours, MRS:
HUI.DA JAKEMAN, Salt Lake City, Utah"
$4,000 forfeit If aboue testimonial is not genuine.
Just as surely as Mrs. jake
man was cured just so surely will
Lydia T.. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound cure every woman
suffering from any form of fe-
male ills.
Mrs. Pinkham advises sick w0-
men free. Address. Lynn, Mass.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

"Humph! said Mrs. Henry Peck,
this paper has a lot of alleged jokes
about women giving their husbands
cigars for Christmas presents. think
that any woman who is fool enough to
give her husband box of the vile
things ought to-why, where has Hen
ry gomez"
But, Henry was out in the hall shak-
ing hands with himself.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Adopts American Methods.

Germany is going to adopt the Amer
lean style of using large stamp for
cancelling letters and postal cards, says
the Chicago Daily News. The size Of
the present instrument is just sufficient
to cover one stamp. SO that several i'm
pressions have to be made when more
than one postage stamp is used to pre-
pay a letter Besides this drawback
the time and date of the mailing of
the letter were never to be clearly seen.
In the new stamp the place, time and
date OF delivery will not be in tn,
middle of the stamp, but on the two
marglna
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Her Awkward Slip,

But l can't cast Binks for that
part" protested the manager of the
amateur theatrical company in answer
to the request of the heroine. HE
doesn't know how to play the lover"
He Doesn't" she exclaimed. well,
that's all you know about it. Why,
he"
Then she stopped and blushed.
II mean in public" said the man.
ager.
Thereupon she blushed once more.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
where WOMEN Load Ships.

The women of Finland of the lower
classes perform arduous labor that in
other countries is usually assigned to
males. They wheel hand carts and
barrows of various descriptions con-
tanning heavy burdens. They also
sweep the streets act as boatmen and
even assist in loading ships.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
He Meant the Bird.


A man once received as a present
from sea captain a fine specimen OF
the bird known as the Laughing
jackass."
AS he was carrying 1t home he met
brawny Irish navy, who stopped
him:
"Phwat kind of burrd is that
sorr" asked the man.
That's laughing jackass,' ex-
planned the owner. genially.
The Irishman, thinking he was be-
ing made fun of. was equal to the oc-
casion, and responded. with twinkl
of the eye
cts not yerself-it's the burrd
name, sorr."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Now. is there anything else you
would like to have me do?" asked
Hercules. after submitting his report
on the Augean stables.
Yes was the unexpected reply. go
and kill the mosquitoes in New Jersey"
But Hercules bowed his head in baf-
fled ambition, for we'll he knew that
petroleum had not yet baen discovered.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
True Philosophy.

II don't see what you all has to git
so proud about" said Miss Sadie Cot
tonball.
"Cohse you doesn'," answered Miss
Miami Brown. rs been studyin de
white folks. What you wants to do Is
jes put on de airs yohsef an let
yuthuh folks do de guessin bout whut
de reason is"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Where She Eoolad Him.

rs my hat on" began Mrs.
Collingwood, when her husband inter-
rupted:
Eyes, your hats on straight. Come
along or we shall be late"
IF it's on straight it won't do. Wait
a minute till l go back to the house
and tilt it a little"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.

"A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.
Men couldn't steam across the sea,
A hundred years ago,
And money wasn't all they thought
Worth having here below;
They had no elevators then
To hoist them through the air,
And yet they thought, the poor old
guys,
That they were wonderful and wise,
And that the world was fair.
Men couldn't talk by telephone,
A hundred years ago;
They sowed and reaped and threshed
by hand
And when the streams were low
They had to stop the mills and wait
For Gods good rain to fall
And yet they proudly went about
With heads held high and chests push
ed out,
And thought they knew it all.
Their battleships were made OF wood,
A hundred years ago,
And oh, the weak old ways they mad
For laying people low!
They had not lightning trains on
which
To fit athwart the scene,
And yet these poor, benighted men
Supposed that things were perfect
then
Alas! but they were green!
Men had to load each time they shot,
A hundred years ago.
And then, alas! they had no gas
To light things here below!
There were no trolley cars to dodge,
No horseless things to tame,
And yet, poor fools, they thought they
Had all the blessings in their day,
That men might ever clairn
But they had pessimists around
A hundred years ago.
Who mourned because thsir sons
could ne'er
Obtain a proper show!
And they predicted dire things
They thought the end was near;
They fancied that the devil then
Worked overtime in urging them
TO start red havoc here.
S. e. Kiser.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

"Some generous person." said little
Socrates Bulginbrow of Boston, mas
been kind enough to send me copy
of Mother Goose's lyrics for Christ
mas Do you know the theory that "
representative Of the bovine genus at
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Sarcasm vs.. Single.

81 didn't mind the spanking dad
gave me half as much as the way In
which he talked"
Wasn't it hard licking?"
you just bet it was
well. what did he say that was
worse than the shingle?"
HE said, Go way back and stand
up"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

you know, dear" she said, when
we were married, you said that my
possession made you the richest man
in the world?"
Eyes, darling, and so 1t did,
"Well-a-then, do you think you
could spare me a quarter?"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
A Difficulty Obviated.

Mr. T. Totaler-My dear, 1 do not
think it is very appropriate for you
to wear that wine-colored silk to the
w. C. T. U. convention.
Mrs. T. Totaler-Oh, but it is wa
tered silk, you know.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
CAPITAL AND LABOR.

Writing Of the Scranton convention
while it was in session a Pennsylvania
Grit man says: Capital is combining
as never before in the history of the
civilized world Not simply that, but
II Is proceeding along liEes that touch
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
A. Great Responsibility.

"You say you regard the railroads as
a menace to human happiness?"
81 do. They bring sorrow to thou
sands of hearts. Nearly everybody
that pays full fare nowadays is mis-
cradle because he didn't get pass or
rebate"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Kate-Martha declares that the men
are all alike.
Edith-Then you can't blame her If
she takes the first one that comes
along. You may depend upon It,
that's Just what she will do.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
HUMOR of the DAY.
eco % eeee.ee.ce eeeee0a eeeeeee eeeeeces

one time leaped over the chief lumin-
airy of the night leads to some inter-
esting calculations CT to the muscular
development of the cows of that time.
have ascertained that they must have
been endowed with strength proper
tionate to that of the flea of the pres
ent day."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
LABOR AND INDUSTRY
SOME FTEHS OF INTEREST TO
WORkMEN.

Tho Organization of Capital and OF
Labor Extends to the Utmost Confines
of the Earth Work ON Great
Tunnel.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Merritt-A man shouldn't bother a
woman by talking business. Cora
That's right. dear. If you mean busi-
ness go talk to papa Smart Set.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
nORROwED wITTICIsNIS.

Jane, did you take a good look at
this milk" mo, ma'am. just
skinned it over"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Down in Kentucky a 19-year-old
boy has been convicted of bigamy."
"Those Blue Grass bellies must be get
ting green. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Rut He Didu,t Need Them.

Eyes, have seen the day when Mr..
Rich, the millionaire, did not have a
pair of shoes to cover his feet
"And when was that, pray?"
cat the time he was bathing"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Rastus-"B Use awful sorry, but
nah son Ebeneazer done stole dis tur-
key frum yo' COOP"
Mr. Jackson-"T good of you,
Rastus, and for your honesty you may
keep It,"
Rastus-"Much obliged, boss, but dis
yere turkeys got de pip"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Condition. of the farmer In western Canaua-
Province Of Manitoba and districts OF Assini-
boia Saskatchewan and Alberta. Thousands
Of Americans are now settled there. Reduced
rates on all railways for homeseekers and set
tiers. New districts are being opened up this
year The new forty-page Atlas Of Western Ca
NADIA sent free to all applicants F. Pedley.
Superintendent OF Immigration, Ottawa, Canada
or j IS. Crawford, Canadian Government Agent,
2i4 w. Ninth ST., Kansas City, Mo.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

"Do you believe in Chinese immigra-
tion?' ut depends on which side I'm
on" (Which side?" Yes, which side
of the Pacific. Cleveland Plain Deal
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Young Wife, am all run down. l
think I'll hire a cook and husband my
strength. Husband-Yes, do, dear,
and strengthen your husband.-Smart
Set.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

WAS your amateur play success?"
"Oh. yes; every member of the cast
had friends who told them they would
make their fortune on the stage. =
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

There Is a seasonable sermon in this
brief obituary notice: won five pos
SONS at a rattle, and died a-eatin' OF
Atlanta Constitution.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

There seems to be an endless num-
Der of Holsters writing books on the
Spanish war" why do you call them
lobsters?" "Becau,o they get them
selves into hot water. Chicago News.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Caller-Dont forge, TO tell Miss May
l called.
Servant-Tll go up and tell her right
away, sir.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

Eustacia--I knew that man was u
physician by the way in which he
shook hands; his tender, delicate, con-
siderate touch. Edgar-Yes, of course:
that's his S. touch Free
Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

When beggars cease asking you for
aims it is time for you to change your
toilor.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

"DEAR Mrs. PNKnAM :--Before I
knew of Lydia Il. Pinkham's Veg.
etable Compound l dreaded the
approach of the time for my menstrual
period, as it would mean couple of
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10

The worst tyrant is an evil habit.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
MRS. HULDA JAKEMAN

Wife of President Jakeman Of
Elders of the Mormon Church,
Salt Lake City, Utah, Recon-
mends Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound For W0-
mans Periodic Pains.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-01-10
Then She stopped and blushed.
At the PeckS.

Thereupon she blushed once more.
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28
-.,,, u,v.ra s,oo.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased 10
soArn that there Ii 1t least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure In all its
stages. and that fs Catarrh Halls Catarrh
Cure is the only, positive cure now known 70 the
medical fraternity. Catarrh being o constttu-
tional disease. requires q constitutional trest-
ment Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally.
acting directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces OF the system. thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease. and giving the patisn:
assisting nature in doing It's work. The pro-
prietors have SO much faith in its curative
powers that they oier One Hundred Dollars for
any cnse that II fails TO cure Send for list OF
Testimonials
Address F. ]. CHENEY CO., Toledo, O
Sold by druggists 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28
Straight to the Spot
PROFIT BY THE FREE
OFFER OF DOAN'S KIDNEY PILLS
AND GET CIJRED

THOUSANDS TKOfll d 1 ne TNEE
OFFER OF DOAN'S KIDNEY PILLS
AND GET CURED.
Aching backs are eased. Hip, back, and
loin pains overcome. Swelling of the
limbs and dropsy signs vanish
They correct urine with brick dust sedi-
mcnt, high colored, excessive, pain in
passing, dribbling, frequency. Doan's
kidney Pills dissolve and remove calculi
and gravel. Relieve heart palpitation,
sleeplessness, headache, nervousness.
TELL CITY, md received the free
trial of Doan's Kidney Pills. They are
splendid. had an awful pain in my back /;
on taking the pills the pain left me ri ght
away and feel like new man. Stephen
Schaefer.
Mrs. ADDrE ANDREWS, R. F. D. No. 1,
BRoDHEAD, WIS, writes: l received the
free trial of Doan's Kidney Pills with much
benefit. My little nephew was suffering
terribly with kidney troC bic from scarlet
fever. Two doctors failed to help him and
he finally went into spasms. His father
gave him Doan's Kidney Pills and from
the second dose the pain was less. He
began to gain and is to-day a well boy,
his life saved by Doans Kidney Pills.
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28
The Big Stock Show.

There is unusual interest this year in
the International Live Stock Exposition
continuing until December 9Th. Accord
ing to reports from Chicago, the entries
already exceed all previous affairs of the
kind and there is every indication that
the show will be the greatest ever held
in this country Special attention is be-
ing given to the range cattle feature and
western men are more than usually in
terested. The Denver & Rio Grande has
made an open rate of one fare plus s.
for the round trip from all points on the
system. Tickets will be on sale Novem-
ber Seth and December lst and I'd: final
limit leaving Chicago on return. Decem-
ber Sth. A large number of stockmen
have already announced their determtn-
alton of visiting this big show
The hunt is now the favorite sport of
presidents. kings and other rulers The
desire to slay seems to be a second ma
ture to man. and even the greatest and
most powerful are not free from it.
Baltimore American
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28
They Know Good Thina.

The number OF new settlers going
into the Sunny san Luis valley this
fall is remarkable. If you want to
get some of our choice lands, with
gilt-edged water rights, you will need
to be about it
For particulars write to Zeph. Chas.
Felt, 614-616 Majestic Building, Den
yer, Colorado.
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28
THE ST. PAUL CALENDAR
ENP 1Q02

Elk sheets l0x15 inches, of beautiful
reproductions, in colors, of pastel
drawings by Bryson, is now ready for
distribution and will be mailed on re-
ceipt of twenty-five t25) cents-coin
or stamps. Address F. A. Miller. Gen
eral Passenger Agent, Chicago.
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28

what is your husbands alma materr'
asked Mrs Chumps. oh. Mrs. Boulder
replied Josiah amt got any. He al
ways signs his initials just plain. old
fashioned without any putin on"
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28

"Ah." said the star boarder. as he
turned the hash over with his fork. the
chunks OF meat are familiar. but / can /
seem to remember the potato"
The Delta independent., 1902-11-28

Clarence Tenderfoot-Yes. ! lust came
to Denver and it's fine out here. The air
is SO light. you know. Edward Oldtimer-
Makes your head feel at home, does itP