Daily Kennebec journal., 1902-03-17
IT COLLAPSED.
Why Shouldn't It With Such
Weight Upon it7
Opportunity Now to Purchase the
Chapeau at a Bargain.

] night, melOdrama was holding the
boards. The play was not too mellow,
l not enough to be over ripe and have
specks in it; but just ripe enough to
| tickle the audiences palate The plot
was easily followed and it didn't take
a person with dramatic critics eye
| to keep a string on all the characters.
| The heavy villain, with a fog-horn
voice and bat-winged whiskers, the
good young man with the hollow chest
and side binders, the hero with the
Pompeyan chariot drivers physique,
and the giddy maiden with the blondy
flaxen hair and abbreviated, frock were
all doing their prettiest to deserve an
encore, while the outraged parent and
| the old maid aunt with her wealth of
beau catchers were alternately smiling
and frOwning.
The house was well filled. The or
| chestra had played it's latest catchy
| music and even the small boy way up
| in horse heaven had ceased beating
| time with his feet and was patiently
| waiting for the second scene to begin,
when the usher came down the broad
| aisle with belated couple in tow. The
gentleman was a dapper looking young
fellow of medium build, rather above
| the average in height, while his part
| ner was not as tall, and what she
| lacked in length made up in breadth
one of those Cinderella fairies that the
gilded youth would like to hold on his
knee for a limited periody in some
cosy corner, far from the maddening
crowd. But when it came to passing
the whole evening in that pose. and a
long winter one at that, it might get
a little monotonous and he would want
to put out proposals and sub-let the
contract, but that is his look out.
The couple chased the usher well
down toward the stage until he found |
their seat. Then the young man
placed his hat on the seat, threw his |
top coat over it and started to seat
his partner. She, evidently on second
thought, preferred the end seat. So |
he unthinkingly went in first and had
just reached down to gather up his |
coat and hat when she planked her |
self square on top of the heap. He |
did his best to make her understand |
that she was rooSting on his hat, but |
she had caught sight of stunning |
costume down front and was oblivious |
to anything in the world outside of
that dressmaker's dream.
She posed like the leaning tower of
Pisa for moment or sO,' then the hat
collapsed and she with a little scream
sank about six inches lower in the seat.
Hats like stone drags won't stand
everything and this one was no excep-
ton to the rule. And when that 200
pounds of lOvliness struck it, it just
fiattened out like a card house. The
brim and the crown were on level
and it's days of usefulness as Sunday
hat were a thing of the past.
The two most interested looked at
each other for some moments, she with
amazement and he with a mixture of
astonishment and anger. Both kept
their seats until the audiences atten-
ton was taken up with a thrilling /
scene on the stage, then she arose far
enough to extract the hat. 1t was a
question with him which was the top.
After gazing at it ruefully for some
moments he tenderly layed it down
with his overshoes and turned his at
tention to the play. An occasional
glance at the dilapitated Derby, fol-
lowed by a prolonged sigh, told the
story better than words could express
Long after the curtain had dropped
on the last act and the people had /
hustled to get out, our couple sat
waiting until the hall was pretty near |
empty before venturing out with that |
rummage-s sale trophy and then the
gentleman carried it in his hand un-
til he got most down to the green |
baise door before he had courage |
enough to put it on. 1t looked as if |
it had been run over with a steam |
roller or used for a bunter on a rail- |
road track. 1t was a clear case of |
wreck with no insurance and when the |
springtime comes, gentle Annie, and |
the rummage sale breaks out in our
| midst, somebody will have a chance |
| to purchase that old wrecked chapeau |
at a figure that will make their eyes
bulge, unless it is previously disposed
| of at private sale.
The young man, when questioned |
about it, was rather loathe to discuss
the matter, but said the hat was in
| the market and that no reasonable Of
| fer would be refused. The next time
he takes young lady to the Opera
house he proposes to go bare-headed
or tie up his flowing locks in a red
bandanna handkerchief.
AQo nM..M !