Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-09-29
THE TIE THAT GRINDS
ALL CRAvATS ARE DIVIDED INTO
TWO CLASSES.
The Kind That Ones Wife BUYS il
the Species Treated-Salesmen
Are to Blame. ;
From the Haherdashcr

Hi"ih the iiaDeru2Sncr.
AS may have before remarked. cravats
are divided into two classes-those that men
ouy and those that women buy for them.
VI course speak of the kind men wear
The female kind Of a cravat is something of
recent years that has come to us with the
progress OF civilization and the evolution Of
the new women: it may have existed before.
but. II so. 1t existed under another name
and did not go around announcing itself In
the loud tones 1t now assumes A century
ago maidens were proud to become wearers
OF the marriage tie: nova days they not
only want to wear the marriage tie but
their husbands four-in-hands and ascots
as well. A few years ago when a man spoke
OF his beautiful family ties we knew he
meant the holy and tender sentiments ex-
listing in his home circle; now we know he
refers to the new grenadine affairs that he
and his wife and daughter take turns in
wearing
But it Is of the masculine cravat 1 would
speak particularly. and pecially those that
women buy. l read in the paper the other
day that a man hanged himself with the
cravat his wife gave him at Christmas.
l suppose the thing drove him to It, / have
seen men wearing cravats that ought to
drive them to drink or suicide, or paving
their debts. But l never blamed them for
it: blamed their wives
What She Picks Out.
When woman goes to buy a cravat for
her husband she picks out the most Wig
orous looking thing in the bunch one Of
those photograph cravats that was medf-
umly loud in the goods. but which, made
up into four-in-hand. can drown out
band until 1t does not make any more noise
than Russell Sage at a meeting held to
raise funds to pay off church debt. Put
two OF these neck adorners together and
they make pretty fair circus parade, al
though circus parade would have more
open dens and produce less racket. Three
ought to be enough to start a riot or uuell
one after 1t Is started.
I never could understand why women.
who are ordinarily quiet and law abiding.
should want their husbands going around
disturbing the peace. But the minute one
OF them gets 1t into her head to buy her
husband cravat she commences to in
vest in these peace-disturbers. have known
a woman to buy her husband an ascot SO
red he dare not smoke Bull Durham" in
its presence Other women have picked out
cravats Of such regal purple that to wear
them In Germany would constitute lese
majestic. I have seen cravats green they
would make Hibernian's st. Patrick's
day badge look orange by comparison. And
1 have seen them so yellow that they would
make yellow Journal mady jealous. Yet
these are the cravats that women are con-
stantly buying for their husbands and
thereby driving him to drink, dope or d.
vorce. They tell me that insanity is on
the increase: there may be no relation be-
tween the two, but I cannot help but OBJ
serve that SO are red cravats.
Clerks Responsible.
I have often thought that the clerks. who
sell this kind Of Kaleidoscope dynamite to
unsuspecting wives and interpreting hus-
bands, must possess plability Of con-
science that would fit them admirably for .
the halls of Congress or the corridors of a
Jail. The woman may not know any bet
ter. but the clerk does. When he sends one
of these lavender crayats with a red stripe
out into the world for some man to wear
so as to keep peace in the family (no mat
ter what 1t may do to the peace of the
neighborhood), unless he has a cast-iron
conscience and a subterranean remorse, he
must know that somewhere a padded and
carefully heated cell is being reserved for
him., and that its walls are hung with fes-
toons of just such cravats. Here he will
be compelled to sit throughout all time
gazing at these samples of the weavers
art until his eyes are as scared as his con-
science. only changing his gaze to visit
and inspect some other cell equally worse
or to read a chapter from wild Cravats
Have Met"
cannot imagine how these cravats ever
came to be sold If it is not that the clerk has
given up all hope Of heaven or is at least
young man is trying to lay up treasures
in the hereafter, he cannot be making much
progress by selling a green cravat with a
pink polka-dot strewn through 1t. He will
find it hard work to climb to chimes celestial
by means Of string cravats that look like
thin slices of the rainbow.
Conflicting Hues.
When a woman steps up to the cravat
counter, Mr. Clerk, and picks up one Of
these candidates for the chamber Of hor-
rors why not be truthful? She selects a
lavendar affair Nth green and yellow
check for her red-haired husband. You
know he has red hair and you know he
would as soon wear a sunf1ower bouquet
as that cravat but when she asks you IL
it would match her husbands complexion
you smile blandly and tell her it would be
simply perfect.
Why not be honest with the woman who
is looking for a cravat for her husband?
your deserts you ought to get ninety days
for selling to anybody, and asks you if you
think it is suited to her husband, why not
say: Yes madam, if he has purple eye
brows." or Indeed it would. Mrs. Blank.
If he has lavender hair" When she wants
to give her blond husband cravat that
looks like textile representation of the
burning of Rome the eruption of Vesuv-
ius, why not persuasively lead her to some
sober design or one, at least. that is not
In such an advanced state of intoXication?
III you QlQ so men would arise ana call you
blessed instead of calling you what they do
A Word of Advice.
To the woman who must buy her hus-
bands cravats I want to say a word by
way of advice-don't do it. If you really
must buy your husbands cravats do not
try to get cravat warm that it will
feels like a mustard plaster on his chest.
That might be good for his bronchial tubes,
but it might endanger his chances of ulti-
mate redemption. 1t would perhaps staye
off throat trouble, but it would be apt to
produce family trouble, which is good
deal worse. 1t would keep him warm under
the collar but you have already observed
in you married life that that Is not always
desirable. If you would keep out Of divorce
court keep out Of the haberdashers'.
Let him pick out his own cravats and
then he alone will be to blame for them.
He may not know much about the harmony
of colors, but he is not likely, nevertheless,
to pick out cravat that will hurt the eyes
of the spectators like lime-lght at cham
ponshp glove contest He may not know
what he wants. but he knows what he don't
want and ten to one If you have seen some
thing at the cravat counter that you think
is perfectly lovely that is it.