Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1902-01-09

Ine Hnll1pplneS IS certainty the mOS1
stupendous piece of idiocy seen in this
world since creations dawn.
Marse Henry Watterson.
AS was said of Cleopatra, so it may
be truly said of Marse Henry Waiter
son. "Age cannot wither him or Gus
tom stale his infinite variety" Recent
ly he spoke at the Pierce school in
Philadelphia, surrounded by the mag
nets of that great city. Nearly every
body celebrated in any walk of life
was there, as many on the stage as ii
would hold. Colonel A. K. Mcclure
himself a great historical figure, intro
duced Watterson as the best beloved
of American editors, which is absolute
ly true. Not only was that true, but
Watterson is the best beloved man
south of Mason and Dixon's line, and
/ am not at all certain but what he is
lie. So far as l am individually con
cerned, l learned nearly all of the pol
itics / know from Watterson. The
Courier Journal was the first political
diet ever consumed. 1 enthusiastical
ly followed his fiaxen topknot as an
orifamb of victory, even as the sol
diers of Henry of Navarro followed his
white plume, until he followed Cleve
land and Carlisle into goldbugdom.
Then l turned sorrowfully away. But
my personal affection for Marse Henry
still lives in all of its pristine force. ]
am glad to say that Marse Henry is
now back where he properly belongs.
Watterson's Philosophy of Life.
In this Philadelphia speech he talk
ed several minutes in the following de-
lightful strain:
The longer 1 live the more I see and
think and remember, the greater respect
I have for personality, the less respect
have for genius. I worship at the shrine
of the Washingtons and the Franklins OF
Christendom, not at the feet of Napo-
Icons, not even the Napoleons of finance.
Success in life is happiness, and the
happy man, the successful man, is the
man who believes his old wife the best
woman in the world, and the vine covered
cottage he calls his home is the dearest
spot on earth. and who would not swap
his ragged, redheaded, freckle faced chill
dren for the best dressed and best looking
earth. The men in their places are the
men who stand.
Essential as the material things of life
are, under right conditions, they do not,
of themselves. bring happiness. Millions
of money will not save sensitive man
the tortures of a sore toe. Infinite fame
will not save proud man the torments OF
a debt he is unable to pay. Happiness is
creation of the mind and the heart and
not Of the stomach and the body.
Watterson's DefaIcation.
And then he startled his audience by
the following confession, which must
have been good for the entertainment
of his hearers, if not for their souls:
I won't say that money is a positive bar
to salvation. but 1t is undoubtedly true
that the possession of money will harden
and corrupt ten times to the one time IL
eleVates and cultivateS.
And what fatal mistake is made by
that man who lays his hand upon the
dollar he cannot call his own-and know
something about that myself. When ]
was boy at school In this dear old city,
down at the corner of Juniper and Locust
streets, 1 was elected by my schoolmates
one of the editors of the organ of our lit
erary society. and by successive re-elec-
tions the entire management of that am
bilious serial came into my hands One
fine morning I woke up to discover that ]
lacked $3.50 of money enough to balance
my books. OF course 1t was at the pre-
else moment when / was required tc
bring in my official reports. 1t always
happens that way. Well, l did not have
the money. / had spent It. lay whole
night in alternate anguish and specula-
ton and rose in the morning haggard,
but resolute. I went directly to the guar
dian angel who had charge of my fiscal
affairs and made clean breast of it.
''And what is the amount of this defalca-
tion?' says he. "Four dollars and fifty
cents" l gasped. 1 can see at this mo-
ment the queer, quizzical. half threaten
ing expression that came over those
kindly, homely, weather bronzed features.
Handing me the check. he said: There,
my boy, there is So. 1t is an ugly piece
of business. Don't let it ever occur
again" And 1t never has.
The Tariff on Spuds.
1 recently received a letter from q
citizen of Washington that gives a
good idea of how the tariff pinches
Among other things he writes:
Going through the Louisiana avenus
commission market l saw a wagon OF
Scotch potatoes being unloaded and, bein q
inquisitive, asked the merchant how muc b
duty there was on a bushel of potatoes.
lie Sd1Q IL was 20 CENTS NOW, II Inai
duty Is not "a hungry tariff what is iti
My grocer asks me 40 cents per peck fol
poor potatoes. Don't you think this 2;
cents (Which the government does not
need) should be taken off of potatoes un-
til the next crop is harvested at least?
A VICTIM OF A HUNGRY TARIFF.
An Eloquent Texan.
One of the ablest Democrats in the
house and one of most engaging per-
sonality is Hon. Robert L. Henry of
Texas, popularly called Bob Henry.
He has brains, courage, eloquence and
many physical and mental graces. He
is Democrat without guile and with
out the shadow Of turning. His future
is full of promise. He made one of the
very best speeches delivered OF the
Philippine tariff bill. wish I had
room to quote it all instead of the fol
lowing short but pregnant paragraphs
as samples:
Now, want to advert for a moment or
two to the decision of the supreme court
of the United States in the insular cases.
/ have carefully read and reread that
opinion. A majority of five to four rendered
the decision. In it there is much talk of
making large concessions under the con-
stitution to those who contend for the
violation of that instrument. AS lawyer
I will answer that proposition by saying
that the justice of the supreme court who
takes an oath to support the constitution
and the laws of the United States should
never be willing to make "any concession
doing violence to his oath and constituting
away that constitution.
On the first day of November, 1865, the
day set for the stamp act to take effect in
the American colonies, great professions
were formed by our forefathers, the bells
were tolled, and the goddess of Liberty
was buried.
When the message is flashed to the In
habitants of the faroff Philippines that
this act has passed, we can imagine pite-
Gus professions Of the people forming
there. We can almost hear the dolorous
tones of their tolling bells as they solemnIy
prepare to perform the ceremony of the
reburial of the goddess of Liberty resur-
rected by our noble ancestry at Bunker
Hill and Yorktown.
cui Bono7
1t is reported that certain persons
out in Indiana are fighting the PROPOSE
.TAHN IT