The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-09-25
ARIZONA KICKLETS.

ARIZONA KICKLETS.
Major Underhill called at the Kicker
office the other afternoon to shoot us,
but we happened to be over at Lone
Jack that day. Sorry he missed us, and
we hope he will call again. Always
ready to be shot If notified in time.
The Grass Valley Bugle has suspend
ed publication. and its late editor cas-
gone to driving mule team. We have
always wanted to speak good word
for Brother Watkins. and we shoot 1t
of now. We believe he las struck his
gait.
| A reservation Indian chief known SIS
He That Weeps got hold of an unhusk-
ed cOcoanut at one OF the groceries the
other day and tried for an hour to take
bite out of 1t. He finally gave NJ in
disgust and traded the nut for a chew
| of tobacco. The dawn of civilization is
puzzle to the red man.
Some unknown 1ierson in Nebraska
has gone to the trouble of writing us
letter to say that death is on our trail
and that we won't live out half our
days, and a postal card from Utah
warns US that our time limit has been
set at October l. We always like TO
have something in prospect. and our
thanks are due to both writer's.
| Mr.. John Calhoun. miner and pros
pector, informs us that he has discov-
cred solid ledge of gold seven feet
thick and mile long on one of our
mountains, and he thinks we ought tC
be worth $20-0OO.000 at the end of a
year or SO. We have always wanted to
sit in a poker game where the ante
was IS, and perhaps things are coming
our way.
Joe Halton, proprietor of the White
Wolf saloon. is a cross eyed man. and
we made mention of the fact two or
three weeks ago in writing up some
thing about our prominent men. Joe
got mad about it. and Monday last he
entered our Sanctum and shot six bull
let's all around us. We now insist that
| he is not only cross eyed. but he can't
shoot for shucks.
Some three weeks ago Chicago lit
erary man came out here TO study life
in the rough and get material for an
american novel. His shoes. matchbox.
whisky flask and pistol were found on
Blue mountain the other day, with ev-
lidence close at hand that he had been
eaten by a bear. The poor chap got
too close to the local flavor. The pres
ent address of the bear is unknown.
The other dav we were shown Gu
cumber eleven feet long and tomato
that was Just the size OF quart bowl
both grown within two miles of Givea-
dam Gu1ch. We don't brag about the
kind of statesmen arizona turns out
but bow congress can keep US out OF
the Union after seeing such a cucum-
Der as that is beyond us. The whole
senate ought to be knocked down with
1T if our petition Is rejected.
The rear end of the Kicker office was
damaged by fire to the extent of 81
last Tuesday night. but we have not
raised advertising or subscription rates
or balanced our hat On our ear on ac-
count of it. We are a metropolitan
Journal and such little things are sim
, ply everyday events.
At the meeting of the common coun
Gil On Tuesday night last we were com
, PEELED as presiding officer to tick Alder
man Finnegan's ear with a bullet tt
convince him that a motion to adjourn
!, and ne at once moved at adjourn an(
get out in search of a drink.
: We learn that another territorial of
flee will be created next winter. and W,
! shall immedia tely begin laying on
pipes to capture it. We are doing far
: ly we'll as mayor. postmaster. senator
deputy marshal and forestry commits
siOner, but if there is another goot
thing lying around loose we don't SCI
why we shouldn't add It to our list
Heaven helps those who help them
selves in Arizona.
2 Desiring to be as strictly homes
4 about our circulation as New Yorl
l daily. we are forced to announce tina
e we lost thirty-two subscribers las
4 week. While the total figures of circu
r lation are something like two billions
any advertiser who thinks the loss o
e thirty-two names is damage to hin
' will receive pro rata reduction. Gu
r subscription books are open to all, an
our guns back our books.
e Several eastern readers have .writte
3 to ask us if this climate is sAod 70
5 hay fever. Our local doctors say it is
i but as none Of them know the differ
. ence between broken leg and cas-
e of smallpox their statements should b
[ taken with several grains of allowance
We knew a man who came here froI
. Pfttsburg to be cured of hay fever, bu
as he was hung for horse stealing 1t
hard to say whether the climate or tn
rope cured him.
The stories flying about town tina
r we were to be deposed-as the leader G
!, the ton next winter are absolutely with
> out foundation. We are the only Der
son, male or female. in Giveadam Gulc
who can fold table napkin in til
. shape of q triangle or cross two tea
e spoons after the Fifth avenue style. an
< were we to withdraw from society tn
J. bottom would drop out of things wit
:. a crash We won't withdraw. and W
I can't be scared of, and the gossip mus
n be taken for what it is worth.
: There was no intention on the part {
the founders OF Lone Jack to set u
: Opposition to Hades. but for fourtee
t days this summer the thermomete
tstood at 100 degrees in the shade. an
o the inhabitants got rid of their winte
Z overcoats and wooden stockings an
49, 49, 1865 =