The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-11-22
Mr.. DOOLEY DISCUSSES
THE IRISH QUESTION
BY F. p. DUNNE.


"They was gr-reat ructions in tn
House iv Commons tn other day,
said Mr. Dooley.
what about" asked Mr.. Hennessey
about our downthroddin' land,
said Mr.. Dooley. Not this wan which
we're downthroddin' Ourselves but that
little green imerald island iy tn OPP
prissed acrost tn say. can't make out
what twas all about, on'y wan iv tn
good lads asst tn Right Hon'rable Ar
thur James Balfour, long-legged
Scotchman with side whiskers, wud he
or wud he not give day to tn discus
sion iv tn state iv Ireland. He wu,i
not, says tn Right Hon'rable Arthur
James Balfour. Diyvle tn day.
"eWell thin,' says tn good fellow
with tn fine name iv O'Donnell, seem
that can get no justice f'r me beloved
country. | will, with tn kind permits
sion iv tn Speaker an not angrily but
in a sperit iv parlyminthry propriety,
step acrost tn hall, maxim giny-
fixion to tn Speaker ON tn way over
shake me fist in ye'er face, thus, an
lave tn ROOM he says.
can he done it. TIL oil oak hall ~
Westminster sildom has witnessed
such scene but nanny like it. TIL air
was filled with cries iv Shame
.Splindid,' 'O'Donnell aboo,' while tn
Right Hon'rable Arthur James BalfouF
set in his chair, his face livid but smil-
in, tn Speaker tugged narvously at
his overskirt an felt iv his frizzes an
siv'ral iv tn more yilent Numbers iv
tn Irish party took off their hats an
put thin on again in token iv their
rage. 1t was some minyits befure tn
house raysumed it's nap. Thus was an
other Irish riy'lution brought to a
SUCCESSFUL conclusion.
"'Twas great day FIR tn race
Hinnissey. 1 thought whin begun to
read tn pa-apers an see tn name iv
O'Donnell: Well, here's where tn
Right Hon'rable Arthur James Balfoul
gets good smack in tn eye They're
fightin' breed, tn O'Donnells, though
niver match FIR us, an no mimber IL
tn family that liver knew cud get hi:
fist with an inch iv mans nose with
out lawn it go two inches further
Says to meself:
$50 it, ODonnell, me boy. Eight t
wan on ye.'
"But no. Meier a blow was sthruck
TIL race of O'Donnells has changed
They're no longer tn burly boys witt
tn pike an tn scythe. They're i
riv'lution but don't upset tn taythings
They no more attimpt to catch tt
Speakers eye with tn thumb. They'r
in favor of freein' Ireland, but with IL
permission iv tn comfy on rules. It
right, too, Hinnessy. I'm opposed t
Whence in amy form. We mus be pa
thrites, but we mus first iy all be gin
tlemen. After We, my dear Alphons,
But when l come to think iv it,
guess perhaps I'm wrong. Ye can't
a rivolutionist in silk hat an lon
coat Riv'lution is worruk FIR Il
shirt sleeves. A riv'lution can't b
bound be tn rules iv tn game, bt
cause it's agin tn rules iv tn gam
Put away tn tall hat. niver mind Il
cups an saueers, tell Ma to pack u
her things an take tn girls of to be
mothers. Pah an tn boys are goil
to have rev'lution.
9Th Irish wud have no throub
with tn English if tn English WEI
Irish TIL throuble with Englishme
governin' Ireland is that they're Ems
fish An Englishman niver gets
know an Irishman. They don't spea
the same language. An Englishma
can understand a German, a Turk,
Chinyman, naygur or an Indyan, b.
he don't know amy more what a
Irishman is talkin' an thinkin' abol
thin what tn angels in Hiven ar
sayin' What's tn use conyarsin' Wi
him? Give him a belt in tn iav
That's a language so gin'rally undue
sthud that We niver need a peck
ditchnry to make it out An Irishms
is always dhreamin' dhreams. II
cud get into tn mind iv a hung
Irishman an a hungry Englishma
ye'd find tn Irishman was Think
about banket iv tn gods with him
seat number wan singin' a song, an
Englishman was refectin' on tn smt
iv tn thripe down tn sthreet.
can Englishman don't know they
amy such things as wrongs in I
wurruld. He sets down in front iv /
dinner an says he to himself:
What jolly wurruld this |
What an awf'lly beastly jolly wurrul
Ivrybody is happy. Anybody tn
kicks does it f'r exercise can't S
a spot where tn wurruld needs il
srovement. It's such a complete j
l must have done it mesilf. Very ci-
iv me. What tn doose is that m
over there spoutin' pothry about? H
loonytick. Put him out Why, h
pintin' gun at me. Well, p'raps
betther listen to him.
Mind We, Hinnessy, amt in fay
Nv dinnymite. Far firm it. Aven
Englishman was never improved
bein' blown up. Or I'll put it this wa
I'm in favor iv dinnymite. but not
favor iv its goin' off, They alws
0uPht IN ba ~ =.