davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-11-21
THE PIANO TUNER.
why He Left In a Hurry After Fin
ishing His Job.

ishing His Job.
A lady stepped into q piano ware
room recently to engage a tuner, but
before doing so insisted upon the stron-
gest assurance that the tuner was re-
sponsible. She was so determined that
the manager became curious to know
the reason for her disbelief in the re-
liability of tuners. She gave her ex-
perience with the last tuner she had
and this is the story as she told it:
He had finished tuning the piano
when he looked up and said:
Your instrument was in awful con-
dition. You ought to have seat for me
sooner
'It was tuned only three months
ago."
"Then the man who did it certainly
didn't know his business"
"No?"
mo ma'am. He had better be do
ing street cleaning than tuning pianos.
Why, my dear madam, delicate in
strument like piano needs fingers
equally delicate to handle it, combined
with an ear Of unerring accuracy. The
individual who attempted to tune this
instrument last evidently possessed
neither of these. In fact, 1 am free to
say he did it more harm than good.''
Indeed
Indeed he did. May 1 ask who it
was who so abused your Instrument"
''It was yourself"
Madam, you are wrong. 1 never
tuned piano in this house before"
Probably not, but you tuned that in
strument nevertheless, or made botch
of it in attempting to do so. 1t be-
longs to Mrs. Jones, who sent it here
while she is out of town. She told me
you always had tuned it and to send
for you when"-
But the unhappy man fed with such
haste as to make his coattails a good
substitute for a card table.-Philadel-
phia Musician.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-11-21
FACTS CONCERNING c1EEP
Even Midday Tap Is Better Than
the Noon Meal.


the Noon Meal.
The scholar and professional man,
like the anxious housewife is apt to
carry his cares to bed, and insomnia
becomes q curse. Men and women who
are busted in getting and gaining, the
merchant, the banker, all alike, fail to
secure that self control which can
manage the mind as well asleep as
awake
Normal sleep should be purely a
physiological repose similar to the rest
Of animals, who go to sleep with the
darkness and awake with the light.
Some one has said that sleep is like
hunger and thirst, representing dimi-
mutton of energy throughout the entire
body. | hardly think this can be true.
but in my judgment sleep rather sug-
gests the diminution of the energy of
the brain, and he is q wise man who
takes the hint when brain fag sets in
of an evening and goes comfortably
and properly to bed.
OF course it goes without saying that
night is not the only time for sleep.
Men and women who are busy could
steal just few minutes before or after
the MONDAY luncheon to catch a little
nap, and, indeed, am nearly sure
that the MONDAY nap is worth far
more than the monday meal, for the
digestive processes are surely hindered
during the periods of mental activity,
and it is the exceptional person in this
busy world of ours who is not called
upon to use all his brain and Drawn to
make living. 1t has been my habit
to advise mothers to steal a while away
from every ''cumberous care" and,
even if sleep fails to be wooed, to take
about twenty minutes every day in alb
sOlute peace and quietness, diverting
the mind from all anxieties and relax
ing all the muscles. A habit of this
kind is easily acquired, and we might
have fewer neurasthenic women, whose
nerves make life hideous to their fami-
lies, if a word like this, spoken from
considerable experience, were Needed
Pilgrim.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-11-21

When the butter won't
come put a penny in the
2hurn," is an old time dairy
,oroverb. 1t often seems to
work though no one has ever
-old why.
When mothers are worried
because the children do not
gain strength and flesh we
say give them SCOTS Emul-
sion.
It IS like the penny in the
mix because it works and
because there is something
astonishing about it.
SCOTS Emulsion is simply
milk of pure cod liver oil
with some hypophosphites
especially prepared for delicate
stomachs.
Children take to it naturally
because they like the taste
and the remedy takes just as
naturally to the children be-
cause it is SO perfectly adapted
70 their wants.
For all weak and pale and
TIM children SCOTS Emulsion
5 tie most satisfactory treat
me1lt..
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-11-21
Realistic.

The Landscape Painter-Don't you
know, I'm quite realist.
The Animal Painter (sarcastically)-
Well, well! Who'd have thought it?
The Landscape Painter-Fact, l as
sure you. I always smoke when I'm
painting hazy atmosphere
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-11-21
Painful Case.


Mrs. Rubba-How's Mrs. Chatter
this lSorning, doctor?
Doctor-Suffering terribly.
Mrs. Rubba--What, with only a slight
throat affection?
Doctor-Yes. but she can't speak,
Chicago News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-11-21
The Limit.

Worthless Husband-Going to leave
me, are you. Moll? Didn't you take
me for better or worse?
Long Suffering Wife-Yes, but you
are absolutely the worst 1 didn't take
you for hat-Chicago Tribune.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

are both controlled by the same great
nerves, the sympathetic and pneumo-
gastric and when the stomach fails to
properly digest the food and it lies in
the stomach fermenting. gases are
formed which distend the organ, caus-
Ing palpitation, lrregularity and short
ness OF breath.
The danger from this condition is
that, the continued disturbance Of the
heart sooner or later may cause real
organic heart trouble and in fact fire.
quently does So
Furthermore, poor digestion makes the
blood thin and watery and deficient in
red corpsucles, and this further rrl-
tates and weakens the heart,
The most sensible thing to do for
heart trouble is TO insure the diges-
tion and assimilation Of the food.
This can he done by the regular use
after meals Of some safe, pleasant
and effective digestive preparation, like
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets which may
which contain the necessary digestive
elements In pleasant, convenient
form.
Thousands Of people keep well and
vigorous by keeping their digestion
perfect by observing the rule of taking
one or two of these tablets after each
meal, or at least each hearty meal,
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets contain U.
s. r.. pepsin. diastase from malt ana
other natural dlgestives which act only
on the food. digesting It perfectly and
preventing acidity, gases, and the
many diseased conditions which accom-,
pany weak stomach.
When Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets are
used you may know you are not TAX,
ing Into the system any strong medl.
cine or powerful drug hut simply the
natural digestive elements which every
weak stomach lacks.
I SO widely knowp and popular In 20
these tablets become that they are now
sold by every druggist,in the United
States. Canada aud Great Britain.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
A SKETCH FROM LIFE.

Talk about the days of romance hav,
ing passed away! Not so! | was an
eve witness this morning In stree,
car to one Of the prettiest scenes OF
pure romance that was ever played In
the drama of life, A man of pleasing
appearance and think French In ma
tlonallty, entered the car at r. st. to
ride down town, The first that | no
ticed In his personal appearance was
that he was bereft of one ear! Just
the little lobe AT the bottom was re
naming and his wavy brown hair was
40 arranged aS to partly conceal the
absence of this feature or course
| Instantly thought of Marble Faun'
and said to myself: "A second bona.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

ering and reading II over and over
again. It was SO precious so sweet
to him that he must feast his eyes up
ON 1t. 1t really was a very pretty
looking letter from my point of view,
written closely and perfectly with blue
ink on thin parchment paper. Some
times he would flush and deeper
smile glorify his features, and once
he almost laughed aloud and then sud
denly checked himself, as IL conscious
that he might be attracting undue at
tention; but the attempt to conceal his
happiness was so Intellectual and SO
apparent that no close observer could
fail to perceive the presence of the
spirit of true love. can tell you just
the spot on the third page where she
tried to tell him how much she loved
him, because he read that over more
than all the rest of the letter and
each time his face would take on
more tender. and deeper reflection of
the fire in his heart of hearts. Once
he got up and put the letter in his
pocket and moved up to the forward
end of the car and gave the motineer
directions as to where Ire wanted to
alight, and then, | thought, now, the
scene is over. He will straighten UP,
and look stin and severe as the aver
age man of business" But would you
believe it? He took the letter out again
and seemed to find more pleasure than
ever in it! Finally he got off square
too soon and had to walk the rest Of
! the way, which all goes to prove that
Cupid had forged his chain of the best
material and had him closely bound.
How | hope they will hold him for life,
for sweeter bondage could not be! How
often are these chains rusted by the
poiso9f of society and worn thin by
constant friction! But / could only
thank Him who has made true love
possible that had felt its sweet in
| tiuence and had beheld the evidence of
its existence, though it Is so rare that
may never claim it as my own.
Nj. II. +.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
MY SHIP.

| stood marooned on desert isle,
With my gaze DER the white-capped
sea,
And hope leaped up in my heart the
while
My ship--would it come to me?
My beautiful ship with its sails of
snow,
Swanlike on the oceans blue:
While ever gazed where the sky hung
low,
And ever my longing grew.
Long. long | watched in the burning
sun;
And just at the close of day
A CLINT of white where the fog banks
Flashed up like whitecap spray
FLASHED into my sight OH the low sky
line;
Then out of the sea upreared
The black storm-cloud; and this ship
OF mine
Was lost In the blackness weird.
All night | lay on the damp seaweed,
With the spray on my sodden head;
The mad waves howled, but | took no
heed
Nor rocked of their raving dread.
All night in the storm with a chilling
breast,
When, 10! at the break of day,
There, dancing at anchor with sails
at rest,
My ship in the harbor lay!
My beautiful ship! When the night
was black,
When the sky was the hue of lead,
Ger rock and reef, through the thun-
dering rack
She sailed with a steady head!
Oh, faltering one! when the dark hour
falls,
Deem not that all hope is past.
But bark for the sound of the Pilots
calls
For your ship will come In at last.
Lowell o. Reese, in The San Francis.
60 Bulletin.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

According to the Springfield Repub-
lican 1t In very singular that those
Republican Congressman who visited
the Philippines have been glorlously
mute as to what they saw and felt and
thought Of the situation over there
since, Congress opened. The Demo.
cratic Congressman who visited the
Islands are free In their comments
ana they are most discouragIng from
the administrations view .point--but
their Republican fellow.trave velcrs
strangely slt in silence and fail to con
tradict them. Now this IL beginning
to be noticed and is becoming a ser.
Wus matter. II Senator Hannu wasn't
30 busy with his Ohio affair, lac might
help his colleagues out.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

Ihe Washington correspondent of
the Boston Globe Is sure that ,Judg,
TAFT In slated TO succeed Secretary
Long, when the furry over the Sch'ey
Ioolishness subsidies, and not Charlie,
IL. Allen of Lowell. Henry l.. Nelson
also learns that Mr.. lierrick of Cleyo
land IL TO be Ambassador To Italy n,
soon as Mr.. Meyer of Massaphusett,
serves out Gen. Drapers term. Thi,
In In pursuance of promise made n,
Mr. Mckinley to be respected by Ia,
successor.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

tello." Then my intensest interest was
awakened by the rapt expression and
wonderful JOY depicted ON his face and
soon found the cause to be small
letter which he pulled out Of his pock-
ct and began to read with great pleas
IRE. He would read one page and then
another and then turn it over and
read again, then hurriedly put it in the
to judge II possible how near he was
to where he wanted to get off; but he
simply could not resist the temptation
of pulling out that letter from its COW
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

4 Referring to the work accomplished
by the United States Philippine Com
mission during the last year, Gov
Wright says. "Out of darkness has
come light, and immense and wondrous
strides have taken place. A year ago
everything outside OF Manila was prac
tlcally chaos; now, outside of the few
provinces where the lnsurrectlon still
exists, everything is in most flourish.
Ing condition. In the 3UO miles from
Manila north to Apart, not II hostile
shot has been fired In many months
while houses have been built and ar,
stu building and crops have been
planted"
Strange, isn't 1t, that with such op
timistic reports coming from the Phil
ippines II should still be necessary to
maintain a censor there.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

extends a generous invitation to the
Post Office Humorist to write some
thing for the w. & o. column once in
while, if he wants to add to his local
fame.
These are the days when the office
cat by instinct knoweth its place and
seeketh it OH the jump every time the
Old Mans footsteps IL heard. Involc-
ing days are here.
Only think of the great exercise
ahead for little 1902. 1t must be
continually OH the jump, il it would
leap over all the records left by its
predecessor.
Nineteen hundred and two starts
with Akron In ferment of re 'orm
and aggressiveness, and with promise
of greater achievements along muuici-
pal and industrial lines than accom-
panied the beginning of almost any
other year of her history.
+ + +
Ohio's various Oranges might adopt
II resolution to adopt no more reso.
lutions until the resolutions of last
year, and the year before that, ano
then also several other years have beer
enforced
"Oh | hope nobody will he so fool
ish! 1t would ill us with apprehen
sion--make us think the world was
coming to an end-that maybe ploI
was Matching for our wholesale de
struction-that our jobs were to be tax
en- from us. Please tell them not Il
do It,"
k II was telephone girl who thus triet
to forestall an alleged impending evil
But what Is the evil?" was asked
II heard that number of peopl,
We're about to resolve never to speal
hnrriedly or harshly to the operators
In the year, 1902" she replied wv,
would feel so lost, we couldn't Ions
survive We are schooled against i'm
patience, you know"
+ + +
One of Lord Rosebery's character.
istics Is n love of exact knowledge
When he first became Foreign Minis.
Ter, his familiar acquaintance with the
personages and personal history OF all
the reigning families of Europe, their
Ministers and other functionaries, was
found to he so minute that his asso.
ciates found him more convenient 10
consult than the Almanach de Gotha,
There Is story that one of his first
acts in the Foreign Office was TO send
for Sir Edward Hertslet. chief of the
Treaty department, and ask him
bhntly: What Is a protocol?" lie
knew. of course, what n protocol Is,
hut what he wanted was scientific
account OF 1t from the highest author.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
THE NEW YEAR.
written for the Democrat.)


The light OF stars drifts the frosty air
Above the trectops, wrenthcd with plmes Of snow;
In the sll heaven the hangs low;
How hushed the world IL, and how wondrous fair
He should have passed the win ged storm
Who brought such wild umutuous hopes Al fears
coored a the vista of the years
with promises he might perform.
Oer the white pence of the cxpectnn earth.
The midnight chimes ring their Joyous dint
Fling wide the door, welcome the New Year in;
The hour Of Death hath been the Birth
What have thine unrel pnions broug TO mef
What crucial hour that face alone,
What chrism of suffering that have known
What door to which shall not lind the keyf
lie not hut softly enters
His homes silent prophecy;
so the white curtain of the Time TO
Sweeps down between and my MI ght Been.
ADAH l.. SAALFIEl.D.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
Letters DELAYED.

Washington, Dec. 81 FLOODS In In,
Douth have caused serious d lay he
tween the East aud southu est n,
we'll as locally In the affected vxions
. the postal service.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
WHEN CITIZENS AREN'T S0veR.
ElGN.

The closing days of the first year
of the new century have brought scant
cheer TO the citizens who had hoped
for some form of legislation that
would give them relief from the bur-
dens of an unpopular ana oppressive
form of local government.
Various plans calculated to advance
the interests of our city by enabling
1t to receive the valued services Of
men of honesty, problty and success
full business experience, have been sug-
gested, but all these must wait upon
ure of the curbstOne statesmen and
the pleasure of the curbstone
statesmen and cabinet ministers
of ward politics, who alone
have the ear of the pow
ers that be" in control of the present
General Assembly.
And so 1t is that effective considera-
law would be of inestimable benefit
to all the people of the state, has
been put aside while two quarrelsomc
factions of the dominant party con-
tend for control of the spoils. A poor
prospect, indeed for legislation for
the relief of Akron and nelghborng
cities equally unfortunate.
Sometime the million or more voters
pr Ohio may tire of turning over the
machinery of government to the con-
rol Of a handful Of spoilsmen, but
before this time can come there must
e more general elimination of par
sanism from local elections than has
een the rule Of the past.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

Prof. w. w. Smith, of Bera, O.,
viii give an illustrated talk on "The
Modern Prodigal." this evening at the
FIRST United Evangelical church.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

The first Presidential election WAS
held yesterday IN Cuba. Think of the
double New Years celebration thew
IAN have down there today.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

the first of the year. Having sold his
clay manufacturing interests he has
purchased all the stock of the Cereal
Co. ana will give II his personal at,
tention.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
MARRIAGE LICENSES.

Howard Carter, Everett. ......... 22
Maud Rathburn, Richfieid. ........ ~
Groom's occupation farmer.
Dalton q. Patterson, Barberton. 4. "A
Ellen Bergen, Akron ............. .3
Groom's occupation, blacksmith.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

Disease
Ninety Per Cent Of It Really c used
From Poor Digestion.

Real organic heart trouble is incur
able, but scarcely one case in hun
dred Is organic.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

Miss Kate Rollins, of Lisbon. Is WIS.,
iting her sister. Mrs. II. -, Jones. 106
Mills ave.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
OLE sLoKINss.

Ole Slokns the LATEST
That meal
In fact he shifess that
wouldn't even steal
His eyes grew dim
Too 20
His mind got cogged muddled up
Because he wouldn't think.
fnly got lazy
10 hear what people said;
An then he lazy that
He wouldn't 70 bed. ,t,A hH.i.
He wouldn't tobacco fer
vas a chore
He wouldn't wbile FR
At the grocery
He got lazy fer
Food furnished by relation;
He lowed he'd rather drink than t. -,
1t the mastcaton. rs
He fnly lazy that
He wouldn't draw his breath,
An everybody 'speced then
he was 10
yet lie lived didn't breathe,
why 10 could learn
Unless he too lazy fer
below i.
At chimney
killed him spot
lay day
Too lazy fer to rot
The is take each task
An finish every
that when up
will all be
Akron O., /, 1902 W. r. SAWYER
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01

The ladies' of the Turnverein will
serve supper at Turner hall, New
Years day.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-01-01
P1*ScVS9$s$S$SP 40 M
WISE ano " "
==-===ss-=,z=--x-r========-=
~ - Otherwise.

= + r
Last call for turkey.
= + =
Nineteen naught two.
| Why not try to be goous W
| = = =
Now get busy paying bills.
| Hang up n calendar or two.
Memorial day is the next real one.
But, ON the other hand. II will also
he Summer, BY and BY.
Three cheers for gentle, but often
deceiving Hope.
Mama is not to an alarming extent in
favor Of holidays.
where did you learn to two stepT'
''F'rom my two step-sisters'
+ = +
The traditional thaw may now ap-
propriately arrive.
Now the Harvest days are over"
all around.
Tom and Jerry have no part In this
program.
+
And yet 1902 will die in the same
way.
Lest we forget, three cheers for the
clean streets!
abdicatc.
Cupid. as usual. was strong favor
ite with the calendar makers.
A few decided, on second thought, TO
postpone swearing off until after the
holiday excitement
but many or us may never i've
through the first year of another CEN
tury.
What the difference If the holidays
are past! Push things along just the
same. Make Akron hum.
No wonder 1901 looked old and
hnggard. II was in n game that gave
no time for rest.
Don't say have something" lest
some one should succumb to tempta-
tion. tnA
when the days begin to lengthen,
the cold begins to strengthen"
Adam.
A good many people resolve to prac
tice economy. then treat themselves on
the strength of the resolution.
from the pictures, one Is Forced to u
believe that 1901 was very large and
venerable for n yearling,
+ + =
II you have not received at least
half dozen calendars, somebody
should be called to account.
| = + +
| And before long 1901 will he men,
toned as in the dim, distant past. O,
Remorseless Ages!
= + =
| Rarherton and the Falls may get a
few wheels torn Off II Akron grows as
rapidly In 1902 as she did in 1901.
= + =
The old year must have been sorry
to go, for her smiles Tuesday were
of the most loving kind possible.
4 r +
The record OF the past year, as re-
viewed in the minds of some of those
on good resolutions intent, would make
rather dubious reading
= + +
All those new leaves which are turn.
cd over today, if got into one volume,
would make one of the largest books
Oh record
+ + 4
That newspaper which pamed off
q stock'cut of Congressman Grosvenor
as that of Father Time is now threat
cned with n suit for damages.
+ =
Some of the pictures of Father Time
would be first rate grounds for
libel suit, II the stern old gentleman
Were inclined that way.
+ + +
Akron gained an opera house and a
number of other big buildings, and the
City Hall Is yet safe The first year
of the century didn't treat us so bad,
=
Ii Is to he hoped that the local Al.
mlnistration will not let up In It's res.
olution to give Akron people another
year of nice clean streets.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-02-06

According to a story that is going
the rounds of the Italian papers, the
tenor. Tamagno, gave large supper
in his sumptuous villa at Varese the
other day, to which he invited all the
local authorities and many of his per-
sonal friends. In the invitation 1t was
intimated that while waiting the
hour of supper, which is fixed for IL
p. m. there will be music, to begin at
g." One of the authorities replied
thanking him, adding, however. that
ne would come at IL punctualIy. Ia
magno, justly indignant at such a
slight to his voice in favor of his sup
per. answered: "As the supper is only
offered as a reward to those who have
the patience to hear me sing. and who
want to be indulgent to me, pray you
to renounce the supper, and come to
dinner with me tomorrow at noon. as
surfing you that will not sing"