The National tribune., 1902-03-27
WHO GOES THERE?
Continued from first page.l

determine then ana there 10 never let IL CO.
Sometimes instants of seeming recollec-
ton would flash by and be gone before |
could define them. They left no result but
doubt-SOmetimes fear. Doubts of the
righteousness of war bcset me-nOt of this
war, but war. l had a vague notion that
in some hazy past | had listened to strong
reasons against war. Were they from the
Captain? No; he had been against war,
but he had fought for the South with rel
ish-they did not come from him. None
the less-perhaps l ought to say therefore
did they more strongly impress me, for
| indistinctly knew that they came from
someone who not only gave precept but
also lived example.
Who was he? l might not hope to
know.
Added to these doubts concerning war,
there were in my mind at times strong de-
sires for better life-a life more mental.
The men We're good men-serious, reli-
gious; but | felt that i was not entirely
them; but l felt that | was not entirely
of them, that they had little thought be
yOnd their personal duties, which they
were willing always to do provided ther
officers clearly prescribed them, and their
personal attachments, in which L could
have no part. or course there were ex-
ceDtiOns.
l felt in some way that though the men
avoided me, they yet had a certain respect
for me-fOr my evident suffering, | sup
posed. Yet an incident occurred which
showed me that their respect was not mere
pity. The death of our Captain had left
a vacancy in Co. Ii. \ Lieutenant was to
be elected by the men. The natural candi-
date was our highest nOn-cOmmissiOned of
ficer, who was favored by the company's
commander. The officer in command did
not, however, use influence upon the men
to secure votes. My preference for the
position was Louis Bellot, who had been
dangerously wounded at Manassas, and
who, we heard, would soon return to the
company. | took up his cause, and, with
out his knowledge, secured enough votes
to elect him.
On Oct we advanced to the river. For
me it was miserable march. My mind
was in torture, and my strength was fail
ing Doubts of the righteousness of war
had changed TO doubts of this war. 1t
was not reason that caused these doubts.
Reason told me that the invaders should
be driven back. The South had not been
guilty of plunging the two countries into
war; the South had tried to avert war.
The only serious question which my mind
could raise upon the conduct of the South
was: Had we sufficiently tried to avert
war? Had we done all that We could? l
did not know, and | doubted.
AS we advanced, | looked upon long
lines of infantry and cannon marching on
to battle, and | thought of all this i'm
mense preparation for wholesale slaughter
of our own countrymen with horror in my
heart. Why could not this war have been
avoided? | did not know, but | felt that
an overwhelming responsibility attached
somewhere, for it was not likely that all
possibilities of peace had been exhausted
by our people.
As to the Yankees, did not then think
of them. Their crimes and their reSpOn-
sibilitics were their own. i had nothing
to do with them; but | was part of the
South, and the Southern cause was mine,
and upon me also weighed the crime of
unjust war if it were unj just upon our side.
The thought of the Captain gave me
great relief. He had shown me the cause
of the South; he had died for it; it could
not be wrong. / looked in the faces of the
officers and men around me and read pa
tient endurance for the right. | was com
fOrted. | laughed at myself and said, Ber
wick, you are getting morbid; you are bill
ious; go to the doctor and get well of your
fancics.
Then the thought OF the Northern cause
came to me. Do not the Federal soldiers
also think their cause just? If not, what
sort of men are they? They must believe
they are right. And one side or the other
must be wrong. Which is it? They are
millions, and we are millions Millions of
men are joined together to perpetrate
wrong while believing that they are right?
Can such condition be?
Even supposng that most men are led
in their beliefs by other men in whose
judgment they have confidence, are the
leaders Of either side impure?
No; if they are wrong, they are not
wrong Intentionally. Men may differ con-
scientiously upon state policy, even upon
ethics.
Then must | conclude that the North,
believing itself right is wrong in warning
upon the South? What is the North fight
ing for? For union and for abolition of
slavery; but primarily for union.
And is union wrong? Not necessarily
wrong.
What is the South fighting for? For
State rights and for slavery; but prin-
cipally for State rights.
And is the doctrine of State rights
wrong? Not necessarily wrong.
Then, may both NCrtii and South be
right?
The question startled me- / had heard
that idea before. Where? Not in the
army, l was certain. l tried hard to re-
member, but had to confess failure. The
result of my thought was only the sugges-
ton that both of two seemingly opposite
thoughts might possibly be true.
hood. My dream took me to n city, where
| was at school under a teacher who was
my friend, and at whose house now saw
him. The mans face was so impressed
upon my mind that when | awoke | re-
tained his features. All day of the 9th,
while we were crossing the Rapidan and
continuing our march through Madison
Court House and on through Culpeper, |
thought of the face of my dream. l
thought of little else. Food was repug
cies. | was surprised by the thought that
Once was at the time of the battle of
Frederick but when and where was
the other? / did not know, yet was sure
that l had been sick in the army before
| joined Capt. Haskell's company, and be-
fore L eyer saw Dr. Frost.
Long did | wonder over this. and not
entirely without result. Suddenly L con.
nected the face of my dream with my for
"otten illness. But that was all. My old
tutor was n doctor and had attended me.
| feh sure of so much.
Then l wondered if I could by any
means find the Doctors name. Some name
must be connected with the title. That
he was DR.. Someone | had no doubt. |
tried to make Dr. Frost's face fit the face
of my dream, but it would not fit Be-
sides, / knew that DIR. Frost had never
been nv teacher.
We had gone into bivOuac about !
o'clock, some two miles north of Madison
Court House. This advance was over
ground that was not unfamiliar to me.
The mountains in the distance and the
hills unnr nv tho rivers and tha roads tho