West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-07-31
THE RURAL PDSIMAN.
Hs SAVES rHS TAIL FEATHERS OF
THE AMERICAN EAGLE AND RESCUES
THE GODDESS OF LIBERTY
FROM A hUDH0LE.
Exposes the Deceit or q Sowing Ma.
chine Agent Who Had Been Flrt-
Ing With Several Widows.

serious look on his face as he auerlcd;
Abe. do YOU think YOU can strike an,
other job anywhere this wceka"
but don't want one. | replied.
But you will You are workin Tor the
Government. and this government will be
smashed finer than straw before YOU arc
week older"
What's goins TO do it,"
Your Uncle Jake. Yes, Abe. I'm goin'
to rip the constitution up the back. pluck
the tail feathers out OF the American eagle
and throw the Goddess OF Liberty over
The fence iuto a mudholc don't want 10
see you lose your job. because YOU are A
good fellow, but the wcrm has turned M
last, and everybody has 20, to look out
Tor himself"
Anything gone wrongi asked as
Uncle Jake breathed hard and wiped the
sweat from his brow.
There has, he replied. Abe, I've
been overseer of highways In this town.
ship for u years. Did you ever hear any
complaint about me p
IA never did"
fl've allus seen that the mudholes was
h'lcd up aud the bridges repaired, and no
oody has had reason to find fault. but they
arc goin' to put me out in the fall"
"Shooi'
yes. Abe. Jim Skinner Is after my place
and the Governments soin' To help him
to down me. Iim's uncle has been made
sixteenth assistant chief clerk in Washing.
ton and he's promised Jim that the
Government shall turn In to crush me
~" goin' TO die hard. though-rm goin'
TO die heb,In'. I'm goin' TO begin to.
morrer 10 rip things. and yon'll see awful
times around here. Them airthauakes
down there in the West Indies won't be a
patchin to the rnmpus around here.
Uncle Jake will surprise. en- when he gifts
started"
got on my cart aud asked Uncle lake
as q special favor To me TO hold ON for n
few days until could lay the facts In the
case before full meeting Of the cabinet.
assured him that there was mistake
somewhere and that the Government
would be only too anxious TO rectify H. and
he was enireaiod TO think OF the damage
he would do and the suffering he would
cause II he smashed the Government out
OF existence. lie scratched his head and
thought iot a minute and then replied:
''All right. Abe. ! won't be has,y in
this matter. I'll remain quiet for two
weeks and give em a chance. II they turn
Dan skinner down III so ahead as before.
but II they set out to crush ne then let
'cm look QUIT
hadn't seen the Widow Neyins for
three weeks. but on this day as drove up
to her gate to leave letter In the box she
was there TO take H. She blushcd and
smiled aud Jokcd her about being the
best looking widow In Bombshell county
she plucked up heart and quericd
Abe. you know a good deal about men,
don't YOU -
ficaps and heaps" replied
Then want TO ask you something A
SEWN machine agent named Taylor has
been here four or ivc tinss
I've met him lie drives spotted
horse and has red whiskers: man about
20 years old and looks as II he wanted
some one TO love him. So he wants TO sell
you machine. ch -
"N-no; I've got one. you know. He's
taikin' TO me. He says he's lonely and
wants a home. lie wants somebody 10
look after him and be nice to him and love
him. He says that " he could find such
woman he'd devote his wls,lc life 10
makin her happy"
And he thinks you are the one p
~ guess so"
And what do you think ?"
III wanted TO ask Jou"
That's right, widow. I'm chuck full of
lsthcrly advice and like TO distribute il
around. Is II case Of love yet 2"
"lics squoze my hand and quoted poetry
10 me, and I've thought he was rather
nice. "
"Wcll, don't want to bring on an earth.
quake around here. but you'd better drop
Il. Next time he calls you'd better hide
dom cellar
"Bui whai's the matter, Abe p she asks
o., nothing, except that he's couriing
The Widow Snyder and the Widow Bake,
and Nancy IIarkins the same wsy he's
counting you. lie divorced one wife and
ran away from tnoiher. and now he's look.
ing for a third and a farm with her. Sorry
for you, widow, but you'd better pass this
hand "
"Abe, can that man be deceiyef ?"
81 guess he can"
"Bui he's shed tears over his lonliness
aud quoted fhe most beauufai poetry
~ me-
Very liteiy, bd, your farm Is worth $50
an acre, sou know. Even berbed wire
fcace man can she'd tears II you give him
time 10 work 'sm mp. Call the deal of.
widow. He's playing you for a soft snap.
Honest Ipiun, Abe ?"
son ny life"
"fhen lei him hook out 20 say she as she
clicks her teeth together "Iic'ii be along
here 20 morrow, end III have q leuie Of
hoi water ready. aud about the tine he
begins 70 quote ShaEespsafs or Byron I'll
scald ibe rcd whskcfs ~ bis chin ="
"AsI iesehcd No. schooIhouse over.
took Uncle John Toby, who seemed to be
limpiog little worse than usual
and bad look If trouble in his eyes.
Uncle John T. ~ years old, but can't le, 90
# The idea that be IS only 80. 7 couldn't
help bat sec that he had on his Sunday
clothes and tina, he had been dying his hair
and wbiskcrs, but called ou, TO him in a
eheery way and asked him 10 get 10
beside me.
$50 to grass . he yells in reply.
whats The matter. UocIc John ~
''None o. your bizaess g.