Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1902-10-05

Now it all came about thusly-Daisy's
pa was lineal descendant of Aranias
by his second wife, Sapphire, and he
had an enormous hot-air chamber and
bag.
BY reason Of his eminent qualifications.
he was enabled to secure employment
with the Prevaricators Protective and
Annuity Association, of Blarneyville, VT
After securing this position, he began
his life work in his native town Of Green
vile. Being a man Of varied attachments,
he was enabled to do all sorts Of stunts,
in order to ingratiate himself in the at
fections of the Greenville people. His sre-
cialties were not only great, but novel.
He introduced new songs and new dances
at every performance. He studied his
stereotyped spiel, and shot his uad when
ever he could get a victim to hold still
for a sufficient length Of time. He tackled
the old and young. and If victim want
ed to shy off, he would clinch him by
the arm and give him such blast Of hot
air as would cause the modest blush of
shame to come upon the features of an
all-day barker in front of a circus tent.
One Of his great specialties was funeral
work. He was always on hand whenever
a death occurred in Greenvllle to assist
by giving consolation and advice, and, IN
cidentally, to work the undertaken the
surance. He always attended every wake.
and talked insurance just to keep up the
spirits of his companions. He always
talked in whisper. and by trick known
to the profession he could turn on the
lachrymal valve Just at the proper time.
He got himself full set OF funeral har.
ness, and always rode in the carriage
with the invited guests. Oh, he was great
on funeral. And every time a funeral
was given In Greenville pa always land
ed sucker.
Another one Of pas specialties wa.
church work, and when it came to piety
and humility he could give monk cards
and spades. and beat him under the wire
every heat. He became deputy leader of
the Jacobs Ladder Brigade. and was
made an honorary member OF the Ladies'
Sewing Society. He would preside at
each meeting Of all church societies, and
would talk on all subjects. He was espe-
cially strong on missionary work. ard
would clinch the Maynard, and advise
them to take out a policy Of In
surance and begin life anew. He told
them how easy 1t was to have their gas
turned off. and when they got across the
way. how much better they would feel
If they had left policy Of insurance
behind.
Now. pa played every game in Green
vile to the extreme limit. BY the APP
plication OF hot air and gall he managed
to worm himself into everything that was
doing in Greenville except "sussiety.:
and although he had made some grand
stand plays and had blown himself ON
the "sussiety SPORTS" sim he had never
succeeded in getting beyond the ragged
edge. He remained in the outfeld unttl
Daisy graduated from the Greenville Fee
male Seminary, when he made des-
perate effort to get on the inside Of the
diamond.
Now Daisy was a great looker-head In
the air with high knee action She was
not famous. for her hsadpieee. but her pa
thought that she was wonder.
After she left the training track. na
decided to campaign her season or two
Just to show the .sussiety sports her &C.
ton. He got her a bunch OF fancy nickel.
plated track harness. with patent leather
tips. Every set was complete with KIn,
Bile rein. martingale. and kicking strans
Now Daisy went all the gaits, but failed
to develop speed in any OF them. she
was a great starter. but always petere,l
out before she reached the frst quarter.
The 'sussiety sports said that her braed-5
ins Was dead a1Ssnst her. ana t<.nt heY
pa had made 4 Is N.,Stake Ia entA har
@ 6 thncausassd jhA~ shs 'bsiossse "a
49, - uas On g II