New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-04-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

man the other day went to a Boston dentist to
have tooth extracted. and decided to take gas
The doctor administered the hypnotic ana 'he man
soon eppsared to be under its influence but he con-
,,,usa m keen one eye open. This worried the
doctor and he gave the man more gas still the
eve remained open Shut that eye. said the
doctor, finally, losing patience. Can't said the
man in IA drowsy voice; ITS glass
The ates, London novelty Is the somef ho, us
cure for fat T@men Injurious Msa gymnasim where
aristocratc patients turn some on $500
IN s said to- be most eicacions If this
acrobatic system for reducing weight were
would dare patronize II for fear the c Se h
,he1r c.meras and present her the public in the
act Of turning somersaults. giving her name; al
S %fy sin MS.s"t Commercial
Here are n few extracts from compositions WITT
ION hv boys in n high school of Vienna;
NAM a man lies down in good health and gets
up dead" -. -,
In Rome the bones Of the martyrs were col
lected and by wild beasts
Human beings ceased to walk on all iour' anu
walked the hindmost.'
He sacrificed a rich woman and other priests
Hannibal stood with one foot in Spain. while
with the other he beckoned TO the troops
Gods punishment followed Immediately after
years.
Ready for AnyhngBut Why we ask nai,o OF ta a
the top of your machine. and the large ~heeIs anu
steering gear beneath ~" ,,, ,.,,o,, oons,,sr,-
ton inability to grasp an idea when 1t !pis
Uiil be an airshp or an automobile Baltimore
American.
The first number of THE Manila Volcano. a
well printed paper which made its appearance last
month contains this excuse for the name or the
paper: The Philippine Islands are Of volcanic
conformation The country politically Is In erup-
bia fiOut
forth molten lava, sulphurous fumes. hot sand and
other concomitants OF volcano in active eruption
The Manila Volcano will be heard. and we trust
that the fl!uminat lions from It's cra.er Will shed
transcendent light all classes OF society for the
better1nent man In these islands," In the leading
article the policy the paper is defined in these
terms This is American paper 1t Is con-
Quoted by Americans for the advancement OF
Americanisrn In this archipelago 1t believes In
American invasion. American occupation. American
law and American Justice in a word. IT believes
in the superiority the government founded by
Jefferson fought for by Jackson and proclaimed by
Lincoln"
every day some new claimant for the honor OF
having originated wireless biography springs up)-
Daily paper.
Who Invented wireless biography?
II" growled Professor Lodge;
1T is my own dodge.
l invented wireless telegraphy.''
T." answered Shearer;
with coherer,
] the first message"
Who invented the receiver?
Il whimpered slaby.
Like big baby;
Il invented the receiver
Who spanned the ocean?
~ said Marconi;
TN bet
l spanned the ocean"
Who talked with Mars?
T. Tesla sad
with head
| talked with Mars
-(The Rochester Post Express.
My brethren said the old colored preacher. 1T
way: When the Israelites passed over It
early in the morning. while it cold and
the ice strong enough that they over
all right; but when the Egyptians along 1t
was in the middle OF the day. and the sun had
thawed the ice that it gave way under them and
they were drowned At this a young man in the
congregation. who had. been away to school and
had home, and said: II don't see how
that explanation can be right parson. The geog-
raphy that I've been studying tells that ice
never forms under the Equator. and the Red Sea is
nearly under the Equator" There now said the
old preacher that's all right. Use been spectin'
some of You Alexis would be askin lest
some such fool question. The time I was talk.n'
about was before they had any jogafries or
'quators either.
living. after all.
Jack-Whats happened?
George went to railway station to
sister off. and by chance Harry Hanson was
there his sister off, and in the rush and noise
and confusion got mixed. and Rugged his sister
and he Rugged NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Weekly.