The Saint Paul globe., 1902-02-27
@7he shame of"Jhorty'' Ferguson
By HENRY L. MENcKEN.

Copyright, 1902, by Daily Story Pub. COP
Shorty Ferguson was superintend-
ing the affair, and in that sort of thing
he was conceded to be a master. No
young gentleman upon the Bingham
college undergraduate roll was better
capable of engineering a <cane-rush,
and none was more fitted by nature to
be director of the revelS upon the
night following the football game.
''Shorty's'' reputation had been found
ed when he was a sub-freshman by
reason of his inspired management Of
the KIDNAPPING of the sophomore class
president. Now he was a junior and
a parsonage Of consequence and weight
in the community and not a voice
questioned his supremacy.
All of this is set down as an excuse
for him. The need of protecting their
regulations has led many wiser and
better men into far more foolish
things. When the three lower classes
of Bingham college decided to attend
liet," at the Bingham Opera house,
Shorty" was elected captain of the
bunch" by unanimous vote. He sought
neither the nomination nor the cleo
ton, but when both came to him, a due
regard for his fame compelled him to
accept. 1t would not do to back down.
The professor of English literature
the gentleman scholars see the play.
cit is seldom, he said to them.
that you enjoy the privilege of witness
ing a performance of one of the great
masters works. 1 advise you to take
pocket editions of the play with you,
and hope that you will study it care
fully. The company, of course, may be
an incapable one. but Shakspere rises SUI
perior to dependence upon mere inter
pretation'
I'VE will go" replied the student body,
vigorously.
Twice a year travelling company
stopped at Bingham for a one@nght
stand" At other times the boards of
the opera house were held by itinerat
medicine magicians. In consequence,
the townspeople hailed the advent of
real actors with unmixed joy and semi
annually they arrayed themselves in
their best clothes, and sat, spellbound
for two hours in the glare of .--e foot
lights.
1t was only occasionally that more than
a handful of undergraduates ventured to
these performances, for usually the en-
tertainment was so marvelouSly poor that
it induced somnolence before it had well
begun. This time, however, all were go
ing, and as a guard against a possible
lack of interest, they proposed to take
Tic 4HSdI1S VI WITH Ln6uls
These means consisted of strong lungs, a
supply of spontaneous humor, a gross of
tin horns and innumerable wooden ''buz-
zers." On the score of economy and
to the doubtful satisfaction Of the mana
ger of the opera house, the entire upper
gallery was engaged. Its hundred and fif-
ty seats were to accommodate two hun
ored and seven students. The professor
of English literature at reckless expense,
purchased a box. He was burdened with
the duty of backing his precent with ex-
ample, ana the burden weighed him
down.
Still, he had reason for much satisfac-
ton, for there was no mistaking the
eagerness of his flock to drink of the
pier1an spring that he had recommended.
Five minutes after the doors opened half
Of the seats in the gallery were filled.
Shorty" Ferguson, ''the captain Of me
bunch" WAS the first to surrender his
check at the door Thereafter, the 9TH
ers began to come in, in squads Of three
and four, and by the time the fickering
lights fiared up and the four-man or
chestra emerged from the burrow-like
depths beneath the stage, the gallery was
what is known in the parlance Of the
theater, as packed.
With polite attention the studious tive