davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Stubble-"I see some genius has in
vented "a typewriter that Will play d
tune while you work"
Penn-"Great Scott! | hope II won't
come In general use. Imagine all the
typewriters In big office building
banging out rag time at onee!
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Still a Chance.

Wife during the quarreD-Befkre we
were married you called me an angel.
I'll never be in that class again, sup
pose?
Husband (calmly)-Oh, l don't know.
| still have hopes.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Somewhat Different.

Dlggs-I set trap for my wife the
other evening.
Biggs-Not jealous, hope?
Diggs-Oh, no. She wanted to catch
a mouse in the pantry.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

George, why are you so unkind TO
nurse? Why don't you love herr
"hCause | don't" replied the terrible
child. Il hate her. could pinch hen
cheeks like papa does
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Zeke-Do you remember when l re-
fused that tramp meal he said his
turn would Gomez
Hiram-Yep!
Zeke-Well, he kept his word. He is
out there turning the grindstone.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
An Awful lott.

Softlelgh-I-aw-am WEAKLY cawried
away by me-aw-thought occasionally,
doneher know.
Miss Cutting-lndeedl Would you
mind thinking some thoughts now?
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Prosperity has ruined many man"
mo doubt; but II I'm given any
choice In the matter, I'd rather be ruin
ed by prosperity than by adversely.
The process Is more enjoyable"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Judge can see dissipation written
on your face.
Remus frightenedl-Yo kin, sahf
Well, deed All didn't write it. cause
can't spell sech long word.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

The ParSon-Always speak well of
your neighbor.
Mrs. Nextdoor--I do; yet assure you
she Is one of the most detestable erea-
lures on earth.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

The Van der Naillen school OF Engineering
OF San Francisco have been doing most of the
engineering in connection with the new CHI tes
in San Francisco and are at present engaged in
installing gigantic pumping plant for the
Aquarama, of which Mr.. Van der Naillen, Jr,
is the original designer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
The Very Limit.

Tom Self conscious, Isn't he?
Harry-The limit He hasn't yet be
come aware of the existence OF other
people.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Z. Your sdeboard is incomplete if il Is not
stocked with Gilt Edge Whiskey. As a
bracer 1t never fails. To be had from all
firstclass dealers. Wichman, Lutgen K
Co.,. San Francisco, Cal, sole proprietor-.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
ADAMS. sARsAPAKILLA PILLS

Are purely vegetable and chocolate
coated. They cure constipation, bilious.
ness, sick headache, dyspepsia, etc. lQc,
25c box. Sold by all druggists.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

All" said Riggs as n prosperous
looking man who had cordially saiut.
ed Diggs passed on. that's the way |
like to hear man speak. lie seemed
sincerely glad to find you alive and
we'll"
Yes" replied Diggs. lie probably
was. He's the president of the com.
pany my life's insured n."-Brooklyn
Life.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Briggs-Have you made any money
ON the races this year?
Grlggs-I should say l had. 1, haven't
been once.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

af"Solyour wife vowed she was going
to get back to her mother? Well, |
don't see why that should make you
so blue
but she didn't gol''
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
A Tyne.

"Bahl Backnumber holds so many
theories which have been exploded
That's right; and the explosions
didn't even wake him up.e-Puck.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Husband" walled the speckled hen,
81 laid my eggs high up in the loft
and someone took them. What should
/ do now?"
Lay loww chuckled the red rooster,
as he srutted away. -
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Mr.. Poorpelgh-These Panama hats,
suppose, are Sl2 and up.
Halter who knows him)-No, sir;
they are from $40 to 500 down.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Hia Only Chance.

Kind Old Gentieman-Why do you
carry that umbrella, little boy? It's
not raining.
mo, SIR
"And the suns not shining"
mo, SIR
'Then why do you carry it?"
well, when it's raining pa wants 1t,
and when the suns shining ma wants
it, and It's only this kinder weather l
can get to use 1t at all."-Exchange.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Don't unfold yourself TO your
friends all at once. They will soon
tire of you IL you do. 1t Is the new
surprises that we find in people that
make MS like to be with them.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Kentucky Favorite Whiskey always
gives perfect satisfaction. 1t is pure,
uniform, mellow just like velvet.
spruance, Stanley x Co, proprietors,
san Francisco.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Three brick buildings 80 800, four
stories high. We are selling away
down. We want money to put build
ings away up. San Francisco house,
l32l-l325 Market street.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

We are much of the opinion that no
child should start on the sweating
process of our modern schools earlier
than eight years of age, and delicate
ones not then.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

A real smooth person is one who
doesn't show any difference in his
treatment of those he hates and those
he likes.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Belle-What lovely bulldog.
Mani think he's horrid looking.
Belle-O, but bulldogs aren't lovely
unless they're horrid looking
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Weary-Don't you remember love.
ly. blue-eyed. cnrly-haired little chump
wot you ulster kiss and give pie TO
some years ago? Well. I'm him.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
The Min Object.

Briggs the place you spent
your vacation in satisfactory?
Griggs-The best yet. never wSs
quite so glad to get home
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Minutes wasted are dimes thrown
away and hours lost are dollars gone
Look about town and see how many
men make proper use of time.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
From Bad TO Worse.

Mistress-Well, Jane, did you find
the ornament for my hair yet?
Jane-Yes, ma'am. But I've mislaid
your hair, and now | can't find that
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Some fathers scold, blame and pity
their boys, when the poor boys are
exactly a chip off the old block
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

II you spend all your time telling
about the other fellows dishonesty
he will score before you get to first
base.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Manager-I'm terribly short of
money. and the chorus girls are be-
ginning to kick.
Friend-Isn't that what they are
engaged for?
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Old people bore young people. And
young people should remember that
they are great bores TO their elders.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

The druggist who advises you to
use Hamlin's Wizard Oil for the cure
of pain, does you good turn
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Lover-One kiss is worth hundred
letters.
Damsel-Oh. you're very sentimen-
tai
Lover-Oh. no. The kiss. you know.
can't be introduced in breach OF
promise suit.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Qualified.

HE furnishes small spectators with
tips"
why doesn't he speculate for him
self?"
HE failed"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

II you claim the right To attend to
your own business give other people
the same right.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

lda-"She lmagnes herself beautiful.
How can we cure her of such conceit%
Induce her to have a tin
type taken at one of our suburban re-
sorts.'
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Never think so much of dime that
you lose half dollars worth of
peace of mind worrying over one that
Is lost.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Very Likely.

Dlggs-"Gabriel won't be the only
trumpet-sounder at the final roundup"
Biggs why do you think he
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
breeding and Feeding Microbes.

The Intestines are full Of disease germs that
become active aud dangerous in constipation.
cascarets kill an oIpel them. Druggists, Zoe,
l,a
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

rITe Permanently Cured. No nts or nervousness
rio after first days OF Dr kine's Great Nerve
ReatOrer. send Tor fRIk ~ trial bottle and treat
Sc. nr b. KLINE. In ali fenst. InilnnaIpnA Pa
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Employer-What are you idling
your time away for?
Clerk-I'm not; it's your time.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken
OF as a cough Cure.--J. W. o,BRIEs, S22
Third Ave, N, Minneapolis, Mimi, Jan.
D. 1900
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow' Sooth-
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teeth ng period.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

II Is a certain cure for sweating, Gallons and hot
tired aching feet Makes new or tight shoes easy +.
Try Ii today. Sold by all Druggists. Price 2lc.
Don't accept a substitute sample sent FREE,
Address Allen ;. Omsted. Lel,oy, \. \.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
breathe

Briggs-Poyerty has its advantages
after all, 1t would seem. According to
statistics poor people live longer than
rich ones.
Diggs-Naturally. The poorer a man
IL the less use doctor has for him.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Mem. for Good BeaIth.

To-day drink some "Castlewood" Bourbon,
or Rye Whiskey. Highest grade Kentucky
goods. Cartan. Mccarthy n Co., sole dis
tributors, San Francisco.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

OF all the deadbeats, the one who
sets his board by visiting Is the worst
one.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

As people get older they think no
price Is too great to pay for peace.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

The time comes terribly soon to
people when they quit staying out
late nights, and join those who lie
wide awake in worrying over those
who are out. -Atchison Globe.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Another Sufferer.

And the automobile affected you,
too?' asked the ancient plug.
Yes" said the ostrich, II cant get
anything Ike as many horseshoes to
eat as before"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
A Safeguard.

Women are certainly queer crea-
lures" remarked the old physician.
What is 1t now p asked the drug
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Some people think work is terribly
hard. But 1t isn't as hard as loailng.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Explained.

Teacher (hearing reading lessonsp-
What are pauses, johnny
Johnny-The things wot grow on
dogs and cats.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Diggs Because every self-made
man will insist ON blowing his own
horn"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Rich Father-My daughter is too
young to get married. She is only
eighteen.
Impecunious Lover-1 know, sir;
but l have waited patiently for years,
and she doesn't seem to get any older.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Maid-"Did yez liver hear that fomily
had skiliton in thor closet?"
Cook-"Oi hov."
Maid-"Thin, bedad, tn rats must
hoy ate it up. OF can't foind ut at ALL"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06
Conversational Hair-spIitting.

Harrlet-Don't you think mother Is
a good talker. Harry?
Harry-Well, she's a fluent contra
dietOr.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

"She's not a very good conversation
alist
mo- but her money talks"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

''Do you believe in the study of ma
ture?"
why. to an extent. like to have a
landscape around every girl | make
love to-"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Speaking of ducks, 1t takes green
backs to catch canyasbackA
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

COLUMBIA. Buggy Co... New Factory
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

"Sayw she cried suddenly. as the
bashful young man backed into the
nearest chair, you must think you're
q bird"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

Why" answered the old pill dis
penser, Il just received postal card
from woman patient marked Per
sonal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-11-06

beg pardon he stammered; Il
don't understand WHAT"
you're on my hat" she shrieked.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
The CHINESE GOVERNMENT rorrERlNe

The powers Of the world have been glazing at each
other for years over the Chinese situation Each power
has been standing ready to make a grab for territory
on the least provocaon upon slightest opportunity
England France and Germany have all been trying to
maintain spheres of influence south of the empire
while Russia has been encroachng from the north When
the Boxer instruction occurred so apprehensive were all
the nations that they undy proceeded to take posses
sion and occupy The result of that invasion was de-
manded indemnity Of such vast proportions as now
bankrupt the celestial empire At any rate
the demanded is so enormous as to completely
discourage the people Of China The result another
instruction through the disasters which China may
go to pieces and cease to exist as national autonomy
The governmental forces Chinese army is being over
vhemed defeat wherever it appears in the southern
and western provinces And so the indications seem TO
that the great and old empire OF four hundred mil
lions of people may to pieces Of sheer despair and
unexampled poverty Three great southern subdivisions
provinces Of greaterpopuatien than any single na
ton the globe open rebellion rebellion which
the Pen authorities unequal to In the absence Of out
side aid which impossible. the long desired par
ton of China may he accomplished fact and then
for all around quarrel and possible wars over the
spols
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
TELEPATHIc BOOMER.

when Mrs Perkins moved into pretty
new fat she found herself in possession
OF one superfiuOus room. a fine square
apartment on the second floor. with a
pack view. but exceliently well situated
over a strip of lawn. and with admirable
conditions for health and comfort. 50
she suggested TO her husband that the
rental OF that room would materially
lessen their OWL rent and they would
stiil have q spare room for guest
I don't like the idea particularly" said
Mr.. Perkins, but do as you please, pro
vided you find roomer who viii not
drink or smoke. and who will pay his
rent"
But you smoke, Albert" said his wife
I should think it would be pleasant 10
have some one 70 smoke with your
4 don't care about being on any such
terms with a roomer. Besides, one
smoker in a fat is enough. II you rent
that room, Maria, give the privilege OF
the front door and the stairs. but re
serve al the rest OF the house. The
fellow must have a latch key, I sup
pose"
Il might rent the room 10 q woman
q doctor or business woman said Mrs
Perkins. thcughtfuly.
Worse and worse" retorted her hus-
band; she would borrow all your furni-
ture and want TO cook on your range.
No. OF two evils choose the least. Take
a man
AIr. Perkins expanded his chest, kissed
his wife good-by and went away TO his
business. When ne returned at night
was not yet dark-he saw a sign in the
front window of the fat. which read:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
MUST CEASE RATE CUTTING.

Upon evidence lately secured by the Interstate Com
merce Commission w A. Day attorney for the United
States has commenced proceedings in the Federal Court
to prevent Chicago and Kansas City roads from secret
rate rebating or rate cutting The rate cutting par
ticulary complained Of by the Commission has been in
packing house products grain and in the interest OF
combines and not Of the producers Whether it be true
or not the railway officials declare that they glad
of the suit and are asking that other roads leading west
of the Missouri river be included.
While the commissioners are at it they might secure
abundant evidence of discrimination Of the Missouri
river. in Kansas. Kansas miers have been for long
while complaining that the wheat rates respec
lively are such as to render milling OF wheat
by Kansas mills improbable Herbert Hackney of To
peka in the Kansas Farmer takes up the question at
length and in sixcoumn showing Of facts and figures
and of argument satisfactorily proves that the Kansas
milers complaints are warranted only but that the
grain rates between Kansas points between
the Missouri river and Chicago and the Of
all proportion Hackney concludes his long article in
these words:
Incidentally please do not forget to have distinct
and clear understanding with any and all candidates for
legislative honors to the welfare of the
people of Kansas must be after The freighrate
situation needs investigation and should be at
tended to by fair and impartial committee but such
committee must not be under domination rail
officials The meetings Of such committee should
be public should call witnesses the shippers
Of the state as well as the traffic managers Of the rail-
roads All the matter brought before that committee
be published The report of the committee should
also be published in full you decide for yourselves
whether the you for has properly done
his duty by his constituents"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
Daifu g aoIc
M. M. MURDOCH, Editor.
GOVERNOR CAMPAIGN GROWING WARM.

The present indications that the politicians believe
that the next Governor of Kansas viii be chosen months
anteceden to the any rate the candidates
and their hackers going settle who is to have the
nomination ere the convention convenes to hear them
talk There are six candidates in the field towit Bal
ley Trounan Cole Richter Miller and Enrght and with
out waiting for the all chances in state conven-
ton they have been ndusriously work for delegates
for instructed delegates where possible In county
primaries square out issue forced between
gubernatoal asprants Up this time little over six
hundred delegates to the state convention have been
chosen Bailey leads candidates respectively
about two to one or with about onethird Of all the dele
gates so far elected remaining twohirds being d
vded up among the other FIVE candidates not
equal proportions If the same ratio should hold good for
the four hundred delegates yet to be elected it viii be
seen that the five candidates combining against Bailey
could beat him about two However within the
past few days several denials been made the
charge that it is the field against Neaha 1t is
probable that the syndicate scheme viii be abandoned
indeed there was ever anything to it But in any event
long before the convention each mans strength
viii be pretty definitely and in the failure of
majority for anyone will stin be chance left to
the delegates of the convention for combna
tons Tor eli of the places on the ticket
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
prERPoNr MORGAN AS A SPORT.

It is somewhat surprising that Emperor William did
not have racing yacht constructed instead of the me
teor, for Germany does not TO have fast boat
worthy of the When Prince Henry repeats to his
ropa brother the words of Perpont Morgan at the
cepon rendered him by the New York Yacht Club it is
probable that the Kaiser viii that Germany has not
at her disposal yacht capable of entering into com
petition Couma Much TO the surprise OF all
present Morgan announced at the Yacht Club recep
ton that he would Columbia the Atlantic
to race boat with any yacht afoat Yachtsmen
believe that Emperor of Germany will accept the Offer
At the time the international yacht took place it
in this country that the Emperor OF Ger
many would arrange for contest between Amer
yachts and the Columbia we're obliged
cross win back the Americas cup such ar
would be effected. also stated at
that time that Germany would have to build racing
yacht before entering competition with the American
boat This Kaiser William may now decide to do. II ne
does conclude build boat to compete with the Column
ba he will put Sir Thomas Upton out Of business as
the favorte foreign friend Of Americans.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
THE NICARAGUA ROUTE AGAIN.

The isthmian canal situation seems TO chanee every
day Senator Morgan Of Alabama reports to the In
terocesnie Canal Committee that obstacle exists 20
the acquisition by the United CT fun control Of
the territory necessary for the Nearagaa canal ana once
more favorable report made by the committee in sup
port Of that familiar project which only short time
was held 20 be wholly out Of favor
This measure is likely with considerable opuo.
siton little later Il authorizes the President 10
acquire from Nicaragua and Costa ca control Of the ter
ritory desirable and necessary to eoaya construct and
protect canal from Greytovn on the Atlantic ocean to
Brito on the Pacific capable Of carrying ships Of tie ereat
est tonnage and draft in use sufficient sum 10 Sc
cure the concessions is now appropriated After the Pres
ident has secured u control Of the territory he is 70
direct the Secretary Of War To the canal the
necessary harbors and such provisions Tor defence as nav
be necessary for their safety rrafaction Taa I'm
sAnronriates Sloooooeo Tor beginning tie work Of con-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-03-21
powpERLY poEsN,T WANT 10 co.

The Commissioner Of Irrigation T. v Powderly, who
was formerly head of the old Knights of Labor has
determined relinqush his position unless President
Roosevelt goes to length of dismissng him. AS
couple of days ago. Mr. Roosevelt has decided
that Mr. Powdery shall make way for Frank P Sargent
chief of brotherhood of Locomotive Firemen
other yet named But the commissioner who has
held his position since the beginning Of McEnleys first
administration, loath step and out for he
feels that his work has been of high character The
President, however not satisfied with Mr. Powderlys
administration the immigration division
put another in his place He told friend recently
that Powderly did retire gracefully would
his resignation uncertain terms