The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-08-15

Too cruel it did seem. WV >''''
She wouldn't strike the matches,
She'd give hot tea no blows;
She made no hit at baking,
She wouldn't wiring her clothes.
She wouldn't cut chicken,
Or think Of drowning care,
She wouldn't mash potatoes
Or bang her golden hair.
She wouldn't do all these things,
My tcnder-healted Bess,
And SO she smashed all records
at downright laztness.
F. p. Pitzer in New York sun.
There IS or was an army mule Il pen
sioner Of the United Standardization
says that army mules are immortal,
hence the doubt as to tense. But this
mule, MeXiQue. was ordered to be sold
at Mount Vernon Barracks, Alabama, III
1888. He had been ut the post Il long
time. and had grown gray in the service,
having an honorable record in the Next
can war, and the officers ut Mount Eer-
non asked the QuartcrmaSter general to
retain him till the end of his DAYS. This:
application. signed by William \:
kobbc. then an artillery lieut. enant, and
endorsed by Il dozen proper military au-
thorties. including Gen. Hancock and
Gen. Sherman. is on record at Washing
ton. How the white mules record grew
in honor with successive endorsements
may be seen from the commanding geE-
erals letter:
have seen that mule, and whether true
or false. the soldiers believe it was left
at the Big Spling, where Mount Vernon
BARRACKS now are: at inc time ZEN ie1 IaG OK
Tradition says t was once a sorrel. bat
now it is white from age.
The Qnartcrmasters department. will ~.
sold the maintenance OF
post. advise that it be kept in the l."
p"'1'''nf fed an" m"'p " f. s 1iI1 Sstn
r. 81 think that mule was It For:
Morgan, Mobile Point, when WAS there in
The secretary of war finally directed
'that this mule be kept and we'll cared
for. at public expense, as long as he
lives"
Days of Chivalry Gone.-Wife (dreari-
ly)-Ah. NE! The days Of chivairy are
past. Observation-Disclosures the matter now ?
''Sir Walter Raleigh laid his cloak Oh the
but you get mad simply because poor,
dear mother sat down OH you: hat"
New York Weekly.
There is a citizen of New York who
decided to treat himself to horse and
a runabout. In every case he insisted
upon knowing the attitude OF the pros
pective purchase in relation to autonlo-
biles. Il don t want my neck broken
daily he would say.
There was horse that suited him. 81
tion," said the Jersey farmer who owned
him. II will guarantee that he will pass
a dozen an hour, all day long, and never
look at one of them.'
will YOU give me written statement
to that effect?"
II WILL"
The sale was made. For once Jer-
seyman had told the truth in horse
trade. The horse was blind.
Looking Ahead.-'The Rev. DR.. Knott
was just grand, wasn't he?" exclaimed
the Chicago bridegroom. ''Didn't you
like the way he read our wedding serv-
ive?' Indeed l did, replied the BRIDE
I'm determined to have him on every
future occasion of the ort.'-Philadel-
Dhia Press.
She boarded the car at Fourteenth
street and disposed her ample person
over at least two seats; then she stared
haushtily as though seeking to discover
If the car held any spirit intrepid enough
to question her right to do So
Nearly all the passengers read the
challenge Alright, and their answering
glances were charged with good-humored
Indifference. This was simply madden
ing to the imitation ''grande DAME" She
would show those upstairs with whom
they had the honor of riding.
CONDUCTOR she called, ''let me off
at Twenty ninth street,
The keen-looking little Irishman who
! wore the company's uniform promised to
do so.
AM don't you carry me past it,
either pursued the virago; IF you do
I'll make trouble for you.'
The conductor took the rest of the pas
| sengers into his confidence through the
medium of an all-embracing smile.
An you needn't get fresh about it
an grin, neither" she continued, ''for
ia have you understand I've got some
thing to say about this road. I'm one of
the directors wives"
Wan of his wives, did she say?"
asked the conductor, as he reached the
back platform; "why, l didn't think they
| allowed that any moreover in Utah"
New York Times.
"Charlotte," said the first, who was OF
her sex and q friend, "strives to be strict
ly up to the minute with her horsecss
carnage :nd other things.
Yes" responded the other. who was
also feminine and an even closer friend,
'she even affects Il birthdayleSs age
Indianapolis News.
The Mont Pelee disaster was taken as
a text by one of the speakers ut a recent
nearby camp meeting of negro Zionists.
He explained that the eruption was a re-
buke to the greed of mankind along the
following lines:
''De earf, my frien's, resolves on axels.
as we all know. Som'1in' s,,ah am need
ed to keep 'em axels creased. so de good
LaWd, in His wisdom an fo'sight. put
lots ub PETROLEUM in de bowels oh de
earf for dat purpose. De Stan'ard Oil
Comply comes along an 'strax dat
petroleum by borin' holes in de earf. De
earf sticks on it's axels an wont 90
round no more. pere is hot box. jus'
as tho de earf WIZ Il big railroad train
an then, my fr'en's, dere am trubble. >
Philadelphia Times.
Here is a suggestive note from a
literary exchanges:
Pencil and shears
For each ill-writing sinner:
Authors ut prayers
And a sight Of n dinner