West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-02-13
OLD MAN DOWSER
Breaks Out Again But Gets Called
Down by His Long Suffering Wife.

going to "catch it" while Mr.. Bow
ser was yet afar off. He came
along from the street car with
scruf, scruff, scruff, and when he
reached the gate he gave it kick
that nearly lifted it off its hinges.
He dragged himself up the steps,
unlocked the door and then banged
1t open with his knee. She took
his hat and overcoat just in time to
save them from being deposited on
the floor, and her only remark was
in regard to the weather. She saw
that he was ready to break loose,
but she hoped to put off the climax
until after dinner. In this she was
successful, though she caught him
glaring at her across the table sew
eral times during the meal, and two
or three times he seemed about to
break crockery. 1t was only dur
ing the last five minutes at the table
that she made up her mind on the
course to be pursued, and as they
went up stairs and he was making
ready to begin speech she turned
on him with
"Now, then, / want to know
what's the matter with you. You
seem to have something on your
mind"
eyes, woman, have something
on my mind !" he hoarsely whisper
ed as he nodded his head in de-
cisive manner. al have got a good
ceal on my mind. l have several
remarks to make.
"Then let US have them" she
said as she sat down. "Begin
with No. L."
ooh, I'll begin fast enough
Look at my shirt collar, will you
It's nice thing to have collar
saving your ears off all day long !"
"Well, whose fault is it but yours
You buy your own shirts and col
lars, and if you don't get a fit no
one else is to blame"
woman don't talk that way to
me | must have got a wrong shirt
from the laundry, and it was your
business to have noticed it.
=" You get your own shirts all
right, but I'll tell you what you did
this morning, and it's the second
time you've done it within a year.
You dressed in hurry and didn't
take off your night shirt l hunted
for ii all over the room.
"What't that9 What's that ?"
he shouted as he danced around.
"Woman, are you telling me that
I'm the biggest fool on the face of
the earth ?"
you've got your night shirt on
this very minute, and that is what
lunches your collar up under your
ears. Now let us have complaint
No. T..
MI. Bowser turned red and white
and lavender, and his hair stood up.
He believed that Mrs. Bowser was
right, and that was bad enough, but
her demeanor hurt his feelings. He
had to balance on his toes before
be could choke down his feelings
and observe
"And perhaps you'll kindly take
look at this vest When / took
it off night before last, all the but
tons were in place and the pockets
ali right. Look at it now-three
buttons missing and the pockets all
torn out You have nice way Of
caring for your husbands clothes 20
"The vest belonging to your suit
Is hanging up stairs" quietly re-
piled Mrs. Bowser. ffYou rum
mayed around this morning and got
out a vest was waiting 20 sell the
ragman If you make such mis-. /
takes, you mustn't blame me. We
will now listen 70 complaint No. al
"By the horn spoon and the
blasted oak, do you think Igl stand
this ?" he roared as he turned and
pounded on the wall Woman,
let me warn you that you are tread /
ing on dangerous ground ?"
Eyes, ] know, but we'll see +,
through. Hasn't one Of your heels
been hurting you today2"
ct has vas about TO say sol.
was obliged 70 put on a sock with
a hole N the heel this morning be-
cause you have no interest IN my
wardrobe, and have been in mis-
cry al day"
eyes, il was a sock with a hole in
The heel, the only one in the drawer
There we're a dozen other socks.
but Of course you had % get the
one with a hole 10 IT, You tumbled
them all out on the floor to get that