The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-03-16
AF"TER-DINNER TOASTMAkING.
Hints to the Novice Who Wishes to
Make n Hit as Speaker.
What to Eat.

What to Eat.
TO the witty after-dinner speaker belongs
rightly the glOries of the feast. Many Il
man returning from banquet assailed by
his wife with What did you have to eat?'
says sleepily. "Oh, l don't remember the
feed, but heard some rafting good stories.
Judge Y told the best one | ever heard"
To-day every club or formal dinner of any
pretentiOns alternates or follows its menu
courses with toastS and woe be unto him
who tries 70 breast the waves of the social
swim without d ready tongue. quick at
repartee and memory tenacious where
good stories are concerned.
At the formal banquet attendant upon
conventions or given in honor OF some dis
tinguished guest, the programme commit
tee takes care of the toasts and notifies the
men who will be called upon. and assigns
to them their subjects Then Is is the duty
of the latter to prepare themselves. with
fear and trembling, If they be nervous and
affected by stage fright 1t is no small task
to prepare a toast for the wise man does
not take over ten or fifteen minutes, ana
the giSt of his remarks must be crowded
into this small space of time The novice
writes out his toast and commits 1t TO mem
DRY or makes notes, but the old Stager gets
a general idea of what he wishes to tell
his comrades and trusts TO the inspiration
of the hour, company and the dinner. Men
who are the best eXtemporaneous speakers
generally make notes, mentally or on a
card, while others are speaking and rise
fully prepared with fresh ideas. The man
who starts his toast with a story generally
makes a hit If he gets to the point quickly
without Wearisome details. The popular
man sits down while they are clapping for
more, and the man who comes last on the
programme makes the biggest hit If he can
give but four lines Of a good toast for too
much speaking is wearisome.
AT formal banquet everything lies with
the POSTMASTER. He calls upon speakers
for the toasts, generally outlining the sub
ject and introducing the speaker with a
few brief remarks, something like:
Gentlemen, we have with us this evening
who FRCORniZQd n
the tariff, and who has kindly consented TO
address us on Cuba and the Tariff. have
the honor to introduce Senator Black" The
guest of honor is welcomed by applause.
The wordy POSTMASTER is a bore, and one
who makes long speeches between toasts
should be tabooed In the case of club BAN
Quets the president generally acts as toast
master, and in his absence the vice pres
ident. The committee provides him with a
list Of toasts and speakers, and If there is
an unexpected honored guest he is called
upon after those who have been asked first
are given q chance 1t is quite proper at
table to send note to the POSTMASTER ask
ing that a certain guest be called upon for
a toast, but TO arise and publicly ask that
he be called upon would be a gross breach
of etiquette. After the formal toastS, if the
POSTMASTER calls for informal remarks it is
proper to call for a certain guest, but other
wise the matter lies with the chosen toast
MASTER his authority is absolute 1t is al
ways in order at the close OF banquet to
suggest a rising vote of thanks or health
to the president, host or POSTMASTER. An
other little point, the man who is toasted
does not raise his glass, but simply bows
his thanks. 1t is to call down ridicule on
ones head to drink to himself, yet many
men at public banquets are seen drinking
their own healths.
Suppose" says a man, 81 go to a ban
quet and have nothing TO say on the sub
ject under discussion, but do know a good
story? Shall 1 keep still or shall 1 tell the
story?''
Tell the story by all means. A banquet
Is not schoolroom, where pupils may re-
cite only on certain topics but 1T is feast
where each guest is asked to contribute to
the general entertainment. 1t is a dull man
who cannot catch some expression. no mat
ter how far fetched. in a speech with which
10 introduce his story. Suppose, for in
stance, the gold standard is under discus
sion and Jones knows a good story about
a goose, but does not know much about
the gold standard. When he is called upon
he says:
MIR. President and Gentlemen-I feel that
l cannot possibly add TO the excellent ideas
already presented by my colleagues. but the
gold standard reminds me Of the story of
the golden goose. which, with your kind
permission, 1 will tell" Ten to one the
men will go away and give Jones's goose
story at the next banquet they attend. while
only the reporters will copy the speeches.