New-York tribune., 1902-07-27
WITH THE ALIMONY CLERK
HIS MANAGEMENT OF DELINQUENT
HCSBANDS-CHIEF CAUSES OF
SEPARATION BAD TEMPER
AND LIQUOR

in little square pen the end of a little narrow
passageway down at the nclosed pier the end
OF East Twenty-sixth-st., of being a partner of
Cupid In the daily walks of life Mr. Kelly looks
like ordinarily hard hearted young man.
whom such a partnership would be impossible.
Yet in his little square pen ne has material for
thousand novels. The stories lie around loose and
the leaves of dead and withered romance cover
everything except Mr.. Kelly himself In this part
nership Cupid has given his colleague the worst OF
1t. When the little god is done with his clients.
when kisses have turned TO kicks. and bushes 10
black eyes. then Cupid turns them over to Mr..
Kelly and sits back and chuckles In saturnine
amusement at the spectacle OF love gone seed
Mr.. Kelly is the alimony clerk FOR the city Into
his hands comes all the money paid by errant
husbands for the support OF the wives with whom
they will live longer-S20 600 n month. Seven
hundred alimony Mr.. Kery's docket
in which the men pay from 81 to $50 a week.
Now, Mr. Kelly has sympathetic cast Of
countenance a kindly. ngratatng infection OF
tone. that would win the heart OF rock. All the
bad husbands who are mum as oysters before Chief
Merwin. and who shrvel up before Mrs. Upshaw
whom they regard retained counsel for their
wives. expand under the light OF Mr.. Kelly's genial
glance and tell him all their troubles. The ALI
mony clerk listens with occasional sympathetic
ejaculation which encourages them to go on Lit
tie conversations like this are always taking place:
Husband-She's the ID and all. Nobody could
Mr Kelly din tone of deep sympathy)-Is that go?
What seems to be the matter with her?
Husband-why she. blackened my eyes for me.
Mr.. Keliy-sho! You don't say: She doesn't look
like that kind of a woman, docs she?
Husband-Oh, you don't know her! That's Just
her way. You get her in room. and she's the
ID Why, she gave me this cut on the side OF my
Mr.. Kelly dn tone, of deep astonishmentl-No!
shaving cut. doesn't II?
Big buster" says Mr. Kelly, after the husband
has dug up his weeks aimony and gone. He'd
tip the beam at 16o. wouldn't he? And this
wife is little thing that weighs about 50 pounds
And she backened his eyes! Oh me! oh. my! They
always tell the thing. She's always the
devil and they always say, You get her in
room and what she's like AS IL there were
something about that put her into fighting
trim! You might think that he could lick her the
street, but get her in room and she can black
his eyes and carve him with a razor to suit her
self. l really get ashamed OF my SEX sometimes"
says Mr.. Kelly, because they have little origi-
nality."
And there men," he continued rehec-
lively. that three months after they have been
here calling their wives every name they could lay
their tongues edging around trying TO get
their wives back. There some couples
that make after trying their level best 10 Kill
each other. and live happy ever; and there
others that come around here where neither
party would live with the other again If you'd give
them a million apiece
HAS PAID FOR TwENTY-FI YEARS
The alimony clerk has some old his
books. There is barber over in New-Jersey who
has paid his wife 81 a week for the last twenty-five
years A few months ago he dropped week, and
she threatened to 20 over to New-Jersey and have
him arrested.
Another man has been sending 50 a week for the
last fifteen years. Throughout that time he
it by registered letter, without one word OF COM
mcnt inquiry. The other day he broke the ice by
nquiring to whom he sending this money. He
had heard word his wife for fifteen
years. and would like to know whether she
alive or dead. When the wife came for her money
Mr. Kelly said to her that her husband had written
to know whether she dead alive
Ar right. Mr.. Kelly; you tell him drop the
money for u week and he'll find OUT" replied the
wife dryiy
When man is SIS in arrears with his amony
the Corporation Counsel sues the bondsman II
Is paying only 81 50 a week takes seve .aI
weeks for him to get a5 in arrears. and by that
time the couple may have made 1t up Recently
the Corporation Counsel sued bondsman who
was brother of the husband The brother was a
busy He had not his brother for a long
time and supposlng he of job paid for
a number OF weeks. Then he found out that his
brother and wife were living together again and
enjoying his money
Mr. Kelly has on his docket the case of a coored
porter of uptown hotel. who SIS a month
lie ordered By the court TO pay his wife 81 so
a week One day. when she drew her money she
appealed to Mr. Kelly TO know II her husband had
the right to send her his clothes TO be mended.
Il jes' want 1t legally settled boss legally set
tied. If Use obliFe' to on dem buttons dat's
all she said
Mr. Kelly told her eravely that seeing that her
husband made only SIS month and paying
her 50 80 week he thought she ought to be willing
TO the buttons.
"AlI right Mistah Kelly. jus wanted It legally
settled" she replied practically. she away
Now, If could just have IT legally settled
that all wives must keep the buttons sewed on |
how much trouble might be saved said Mr. Kelly |
admirngly.
trouble in the family, Mr. Kelly unhesitatingly
named drink. The leading charge of the women