Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-08-30
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In her lovers arms a woman weighs
out feather; in her husbands, tom
Life.
Teacher-"Tell me. Bobby, what are
the two things necessary for baptism?'
Bobby-'Water and baby, ma'am."-
Tit-Bts.
Wei Connected.-De Style-"You
say she has good family connectionsY
Gunbusta-"Yes; she operates Mob
Hill switchboard. "-Ex.
What do you expect to be when you
become OF age, my little man" asked
the visitor. ''Twenty-one, sir" was the
bright ones reply.-Yonkers States
man.
Patience-And she married that book
agent, did she? Patrice-Yes The
one who talked so much?" 1.-THE same
She married to reform him."-YOnkers
tates~an.
In Need OF Treatment--He says he
fell in love with her at first sight
Perhaps can be Of service to him. I
know frst-class oculist "-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
Il saw Johnson going home with my
new book under his arm" Yes. Just
built him house and his wife wanted
some bric-a-brac III red and gold to
scatter around"
OH Mr.. Poorter, doesn't that train
stop hereY" said an old lady. as the ex-
press dashed through the station. mo.
num-" said the porter. blandly; 1t
don't even hesitate"
Couldn't Get Within Range-"One of
these guns can throw projectile six
teen miles 1T wouldn't do me any
good. My mother-in-law lives thirty
miles from here, New York Sun.
Mae got even with Bessie for
snubbing me. Ethel-What did you do?
Mae-I told that young man who calls
on her that she used to be the best de-
batter in her class mt school.-New York
Sun.
She-I know some couples that quar-
relied good deal Mt first. but got along
pretty well later on. He-Oh, yesi
matlsm-they get SO they don't COM
plain much.--Puck.
Pretty Loud.-"This necktie," said
he salesman, speaks for itself"
Speaks for itself?" repeated the Gus
toner, as he took In the loudness OF the
design; II say that 1t positively yells!"
Baltimore Herald.
Logical -Pat--"Pfwats tn raison
Clancy do be afthcr havin' a tin we'd
din. OF wonderY" Mike-"Faith, an
It's because he's been married to his
ould woman tin years, 0rm thlnkin'."-
Chicago Daily News.
| Newitt-The man who can't take a
little good advice has nobody to blame
for his trouble but himself. Sharpe
oh, | don't know. he's usually burden
ed with lot Of friends who can't give
it.-Philadelphia Press,
Whispered Say. old man, what Is
summer girl|" "A summer girl IL
a rack to stretch shirt waists on; inside
is a receptacle for lobster salad AID Ice
cream, while outside Is an attachment
for diamond rings. Life.
She-And you say you can tell by the
stars II he loves you? Why | didn't
know that you ever scanned the skies.
Belle don't; but | scan his love let
tiers. He is one OF those fellows that
marks Il star for every kiss.
Mrs Rubba--''I suppose that when
you get out you will be a better man?"
econd-Story Steve-"0h, yes, mum.
I'm rapidly masterin' de finer p'ints an
expect ter go In fer bank Robin wen
gifts out"'-Chicago Daily News.
Rarely Industrious. is Ann
Matilda making out as postmistress mt
Elm Crossroads?" Getting along fine
To-day she read twenty postals, held
nine letters up TO the light and opened
four newspapers. Chicago News
A woman who is spending the sum-
mcr in Pennsylvania writes Of o sigR
displayed In the window OF a small shop
in the village nearest her. 1t reads:
"For Sale -- Secondhand furniture,
teeth, and ice" Washington Post.
Bill-"Talk about blood and thunder
pieces, WOW" Jill--"Is it," Bill-"You
bet. Why. there are seven men killed
just after the curtain goes up" JIM
shot" Bill-"No; the star comes In
on an autOmobiler States
man.
IL think" said the historical novel
st, that shall not put any history
II
his wife said, II was so in hopes that
you would make your next book differ
ent from your others. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
What Is the original idea in this
novel Of yours?" asked the publisher.
My hero and heroine hate each other
so heartily said the long haired and
wistfuleycd young author, that they
marry for revenge, and make each 9th