The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-08-02
WIDOW PHILLIPS REVENGE.

WIDOW PHILLIPS REVENGE.
When Farmer John Phillips got
tangled up in a thrashing machine,
he left widow behind him, and he
hadn't been buried four weeks when
people began to wonder if she would
not get married again as soon as de-
cency permitted. Of course most of
them concluded that she would, and
they added another conclusion to it
viz, that they pitied her second hus-
band. AS wife the woman had al
ways seemed to feel a bit above other
farmers wives, and as a widow it was
their duty to gossip and make things
unpleasant for her.
For time the second husband was
an unknown quantity, but at length
farmhouse gossip pitched upon Dea-
con Spooner. He was we'll to do and
a widower, and it had long been sus-
pected that he had his eye out for a
second wife. Gossip was wrong,
however. In the dim past Mrs. Phil
lips had had occasion to give the dea-
con a blowing up over sale of load
Of hay, and, as she did it in plain
English and used lots of exclamation
points, he had never found it in his
heart to forgive.
"Me marry the Widder Phillips p
exclaimed the deacon as he heard the
story floating about. "Say, now,
don't want to speak i'll of any of my
neighbors, but if she was the last
woman on earth I would not think of
marryin' her. She's bad tempered,
extravagant and spiteful, and if she
didn't bring me to the poorhouse I'd
be expectin' she'd pizen me p
Every word he uttered found its
way to the widow in due time, as a
matter of course, but she refused to
make any criticisms in reply. In
time the deacon Gained down, and
the gossip died out, but after events
proved that the widow was only bid
ing her time.
One summer day, almost year
after her bereavement, Deacon Spoon
er started for the village in his old
rockaway. At the west corner of the
widows farm and in plain sight of the
house was half an acre of bog or
swamp, and in this sweet flag grew
plentifully. 1t had always been the
custom for everybody to climb the
fence and help himself, and Deacon
Spooner hadn't foregone it because of
the strained relations. On this day,
as he came opposite the bog, the old
horse made as if to bolt, and the dea-
con pulled him up and said to him
self
"I feel as if I was goin' to have
heartburn, and 1 guess I'll climb over
and dig root or two of that flag. 1
can't see my way clear to marry the
Widder Phillips, but that's no reason
why I shouldn't take a morsel of
root"
The deacon didn't have to hunt far
for the flag, but as he was digging
out a root his foot slipped into hole,
and he found himself stuck fast.
There was quicksand at the bottom of
that hole. He seized the hummocks
and bushes around him and made
brave struggle, and it was only
when he felt the sands about his
knees that he began yelling for help.
He hadn't hooted over three or four
times when the Widow Phillips ap-
peared. She carried an umbrella, a
chair and a new tablecloth she was
hemming. She came sauntering down
to the bog and placed her chair and
tied the open umbrella to its back
and sat down before she even looked
at the deacon. Then she gave him a
long stare of surprise and said:
II think 1 have seen you before.
This is Deacon Spooner, isn't it :"
"Of course it's me-" replied the
deacon, "and I've got mired in this
tarnal bog of yours and want help to
get out. Is your hired man about ?"
"He may be somewhere about, but
there is no hurry. If you hang to
the roots as hard as you can, it will
probably be an hour before you sink
out of sight. Deacon, you must know
that 1 am a widow?''
eyes, 1 do. Wasn't at the fu-
neral?"
eyes, am a widow" she sighed,
"but, of course, I expect to marry
again. You also expected that I
would, didn't you ?"
"Mebbe 1 did, - sullenly replied the
deacon.
"I am sure you did or you would
not have said so to everybody before
John had been dead six weeks. You
also expected that I'd set my cap for
you"
"No, I didn't"
"But you took pains to say that
you wouldn't marry me if was the
last woman on earth. Have I got
such homely face on me?"
"I can't say you have. But are
you goin' to let me go down out OF
sight?"
"And what about my disposition,
deacon? How did you learn that ]
was bad tempered, extravagant and
spiteful? Did John go around com.