The Minneapolis journal., 1902-06-14
Oh FRABJOUS DAY!
How the Smart Aleck Broke Up
the Drive.
ADVENTURE WITH TWO SKUNKS
Roy Wheaton Tells How "Little
Nike for Once Forgot His
Usual Piety. ....

ginger into EN-, ana l am prepared 10
swear that he got it. know it because
! tried TO go with him to Jud Romans
farm last Sunday, MIR. Romans being in
towG on jury duty, and the way open to
unopposed ''swiplng' Of his boat.
But I didn't get there. Neither did
government official, who was of the party,
and whom l will mention by the name OF
q. S., he being rather of modest dis
position, and opjecting to seeing his name
in print. U. S., by the way, wasn't
going fishing, but only to the government
dam, which lay in our road, and was also
carrying a couple of pals, one filled
with eggs, and the other with milk, to-
avoid splling and smashing which he
stood up in the wagon, behind the seat
upon which Roy and l were riding.
About two miles out of town we came
in sight of a steam shovel with which the
Great Northern railroad was gashing the
landscape, and which greeted our advent
with a demoniacal shrek of it's whistle
At which the team bolted and put straight
into the woods fringing the road. U. S!
promptly disappeared. and the next thing
/ was aware of was a scrub oak limb
catching me about the body, and hurl1ng
mo out of the wagon. When the world
quit standing on it's head. and | got the
dust out of my eyes, l looked myself
over for fractures. and not finding any,
falling, with my usual good luck. upon
my head it being like St. Medard
"Exceedingly hard
And solid about the parietal bone,'
and so escaping injury.
Subsequently I discovered that it was
tanned the shock, but no matter, | was
still ali~e, and the discovery that my
tackle box had been burst open, and its
contents scattered everywhither, gave me
almost as much matter for grief as would
have fractured limb, or broken rib.
For not one piece of it's contents but
could have furnished a story as inter
esting as any of those the Lily Maid Of
Astlot deduced from contemplation Of
Lancelots shield, what time that hard
hitting, hard-loving gentleman was suf-
fering for a bit of incognito scrapping,
and, leaving his well-known shield at
Astalot, borrowed a plain one, and swing
ing into the melee at Camelot, got himself
"ganged' and almost killed for his pains.
But my treasures were lost for the
most part, and it was only when 1 caught
up with U. S. on my homeward way afoot,
and observed that he looked as If he
had been dragged through a monster
omelet, soused into a milk can, and then
thoroughly rolled in, the dust to "set''
the mixture, was my composure restored.
Wheaton Is Unhurt.z,~ .-..-
Depend upon it there is no cure for mis-
cry like seeing your fellow man in worse
plight than yourself In some way which
l Gan't explain except upon the theory
that Satan looks out for his. own, Mr.
Wheaton guided his fiery i coursers
through the woods and came out safe and
sound, both self and wagon, and, catching
US up just outside of town, was good
enough to give us a ride the rest of the
distance. Indeed he insisted on taking
10 u ,,,L1
"Wimmenfolks" were renovating U.S's
garments, and that potentate was in en-
forced retirement, he entertained us as
OF won't with stories of wood and water,
among which was, one Of Little Mike
which viii bear repetition, and which I
will render into United States as well as
I am able.
Little Mike" said Roy, apropos of I
don't know what. "he's jest about the pi-
ousest man goes up river, though you'd
never think it to hear him cuss when it's
got TO be done and he gives his mind
to it. But he is all samee. Why onct
there's duck on his wan'gan, who's a
relation of J: P's who undertakes to show
Mike that Bob Ingersolld a made the
world in three days If he'd had the job
mike don't argy it none. but he grabs
him and chucks him into the river, hint
in with big club that there'll be trouble
if he comes back. He don't. but swims
for shore in a hurry, and we don't see
him no more that drive. though he shows
ZIP later and gets Mike to love him harder
though hes tryin' his best to make
friends with him. Mike, he's lit'rary. too
Why~h read the devil book Kel had uI
river from kiver to kiver, and got SOS he
could speak ary piece in it off by heart
(The devil book by the way, was q
cheap copy of Ingoldsby Legends).
'Well, four OF five years after he tries
to drown this smart r;x
in brook and nearly out when the wa
ter fails EN-, and they hang up to wait
for rain. They wait bout a month ant
then ]. P. he writes to Mike to git g
cookee, and &C me along up with him anc
they'll try to fetch it out
Mike he goes up with old Bricktop tx
cookee, and, finds ]. P, a cruiser, an(
the smart fellow there's we'll as crew
of drivers. There's plenty supplies tt
fetch her out, but not any too much
water, so J. P. he sends the boys way
up brook to work her down past the wan
gan, when he callates to hist ev'ry dan
and send her out a flukin. So there ain
nobody at the wan gan 'cept Mike, J. P.
Brickky and Aleck, as all Of us calls
him by now. The woods is full of al
kinds of berries, special as fine roz
berries as ever you ct, and all hand
goes off to pick whole lot, intendin' t,
give the boys all they can eat when the,
Aleck they leave to watch wan gan, bu
he gifts tired of that, and pixies out
berry plckn' after he's been watchin
% couple Of hours, and snothin' don't com,
along. One end of the wan gan's swun,
out in deep water, and a plank from shor,
to t'other eend, and Aleck he thinks
he'll git back tafore the rest of the crowt
anyhow. But he finds lots of berries, AM
gifts so interested apckin' and a eatin
that he don't till they've been back quit,
q while. and when he does git back b,
finds jest hi apoppin'.
There's ]. P. Mike and Red alto,
of the bank and there sets big skunl
right on the wan gan eend Of the plank
ashowin' his teeth and adarin' 'em t,
come abroard jest's plains If he coult
talk good United States. AIeck he see
he UP against it fer goin' off wien he'
left to watch. and he thinks up wis
scheme right off to mako himself solf
with Mike, and :. P. both. He Jest slip
ferrad fore they sees him, draps inte
the water quiet, and swims to the bor
of the wan gan. Then ne ellis over tn,
bow, an s inside, meaning so fars anbod
finds out to sneak up on that skunk, an,
fire. him into the brook fore he cal
let GO. MO live man but Al Powers eve
does that trick, however. and ac thing
Is even All he can't do it.
There's veil from inside, the hid
jestest stencil you ever smelled breaks
out and then Aleck he rushes out ant
grabs at the. skunk on the plank. II,
gifts him, and his contribution too at shor