Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1902-12-13
JOBSON ON A DIET

MP and down the room, that what 1 need
is a course Of strict dieting on the scientific
German plan?"
Mrs. Jobson succeeded in hiding the shud-
der with which she heard Mr.. Jobson's
opening gun looking to the introduction
into the Jobson domicile of a new fad, and
even made an effort to look interested.
"Yep," went on Mr.. Jobson, stopping
before the latrobe and gazing critically at
the isinglass, I'm convinced that about
nine-tenths Of all Of US poor, misguided hui
man beings eat too mueh-that were giut-
tons, in fact, and that cur gluttonous habit
OF life shortens our days a whole lot. Take
the way / feel right now I've been eating
a big dinner Of roast beef and a lot OF use
less fa~t-making vegetables and sweets.
I'm so loggy and wheezy, and stuffed and
Indifferent that even at this early hour
I've got only one idea in my head, and
that's to get to bed as soon as possible.
Mrs. Jobson wanted badly to smile at
this, but she knew the danger of attempt
ing such a thing, and stopped herself in
time.
what would be your idea of a diet?"
she inquired, softly.
"Why," said Mr.. Jobson, scratching his
head, there's a German chap named
Schlesinger or Seh~lusinger, or something
like that, who's got it figured out pretty
pat that there's plenty OF nourishment IN
spinach a%lone-just boiled spinach-to
keep the human frame in the best OF shape.
He says that there's more iron in spinach
than in any other sort Of vegetable, and
that plenty of spinach makes bone and
sinew and muscle. He recommends, be-
sides the spinach, about six graham waters
a day, with the yolks of two eggs beaten
up for dinner every day, and a large cupful
of hot water before each meal. You're al
lowed to eat all the spinach you want.
Now, that sounds pretty reasonable,
doesn't it? I've often heard that spinach
has got more ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
in it than any other sort OF food, and I've
heard Of an athlete who never trained on
anything else. OF course, this system OF
diet doesn't permit of any meat whatever,
and Pm glad of that-Pm sick and tired
of meat, and nave been for a long while.
I'm going to begin on this diet at once,
and ii it doesn't make a different man OF
me inside of a month III buy you the
cutest red sled for Christmas that you
ever clapped your eye on"
But" put in Mrs. Jobson, aren't you
afraid to begin on so severe a system OF
diet all of a sudden-don't you think it
will require-er-too much fortitude to un-
dertake it in all of its rigidness at once?
Madam" replied Mr., Jobson, IL am
getting pretty tired Of these insinuations
of yours that your husband is a mental pol
lywog. | want you to distinctly under
stand that what a man can do or has done,
j can do. And in order to prove, as it seems
necessary to prove, to you that | am not
the weakling you seem to consider me, l
am going to begin on this system OF diet
no later than tomorrow morning at the
breakfast hour. / shall rise in time to go
to the market for a supply of spinach and
to give you time to boil it, and while you
are Supplying yourself with meat and cot
fee and such stuff / shall be paving the way
for a higher kind of thinking by beginning
on this ~ascetic diet. III just endeavor to
prove to you that Pm one or two degrees
above the gtarhsh when it comes to exer-
cising wall power"
BY the time Mrs. Jobson had boiled the
spinach for which the st~rong-willed Mr..
Jobson had left the house at dawn, and set
the cupful of hot water alongside his plate
and placed the graham waters convenient
to his hand, there was a rich and pleasing
aroma of Mocha in the ~dining-room, in ad-
dition to the appetizing fragrance of fry
ing bacon and eggs. These constituted
Mrs. Jobson's breakfast, and when the
serving maid set them alongside Mrs. Job
sons plate Mr.. Jobson glared hard and
shifted. But he bravely poked his fork in
to the side dish of spinach after drinking
his hot water with a wry face, and made
a desperate effort to convey by his manner
that he was enjoying the initial meal OF his
diet.
at does look simple and strengthening,
| must say" remarked Mrs. Jobson, by
way of comment, and Mr.. Jobson glared at
her again. as if TO detect something face
tious in her tone.
That's what it is" replied Mr.. Jobson,
"and I'd hate to be like some folks that
haven't got enough spine about them, when
it comes to Graduating evil habits, to per
nit Of their standing up straight"
Mrs. Jobson didn't find it necessary to
make any reply or to inquire how long the
eating of normal food had been considered
by Mr.. Jobson an evil habit, but when she
asked him. as he was leaving, if all he
would want for dinner would be the spin
ach and the beaten yolks Of two eggs and
the hot water, he almost shouted his affirm
alive reply as he bounced out of the
door.
Mr.. Jobson didn't have much to say for
himself when he returned home that after
noon. but he shifted eagerly at the fra
GRANGE O; beefsteak and onions that had
penetrated the house, and there was a
wol6sh glare in his eyes.
When he took his place at the table and
found all prepared for him, the mess of
spinach and the whipped egg-yolks and the
hot water and the stingy-looking graham
waters, he calmly picked the whole outfit
up and, carrying the dishes out to the back
yard, threw them into the garbage bar
rel. Then he returned to the dining-room
and doomed very high over Mrs. Jobson.
MADAM" he said, I'm thank you for a
serving Of that beefsteak and onions, and
portions of whatever else you've selfshly
prepared for your W consumption. Upon
careful deliberation | have concluded that
It is out Of the question for me to under
take any sort of reforms under this roof.
l shall make no such attempts in the fu-
ture. Here when | had absolutely and firm