The Savannah morning news., 1902-06-18
Mr.. ,reIlit Tells 1t.

MIR. Tellft Tells 1t,
81 wish" said Mrs. Telnt, that we
could so to the coronation
Mr.. Teliit shifted with some scorn,
says the Baltimore American.
Huh: Who wants to go to the coro-
nation? Tell me how in the name of
Sam Hill 1 could squeeze into 16 square
inches of space. Me-with my impress
siye bay window Not any for your
John Henry No, sir; they can go
ahead and coronate all they want, and
they needn't delay the performance on
my account"
Well it will be a great spectacle,
anyway" observed Mrs. Tellit.
Bah! I tell you what it's going to
be. 1t will be a cross between a mill
linery opening and comic opera. This
man Guelph, or Wettin-whateVer his
name ls-that has just been chosen
King, is having a lot of dressmakers
working on his robes, and the items
about II in the papers give me the
Jaundice. Think of a grown, husky
man like he is trotting off to a dress
maker every day or so to have the
back breadths pinned up while the mo-
diste sees how much she will have to
pad the shoulders and where the slack
VIII have to be taken up in the waist
Then there's a bunch of noble lords and
| earls that have married American
heiresses and another lot of American
gMls that have married noble lords
| they will be among the also rams And
that will be about all. They'll stand
around in a ring like the merry, mer-
ry villagers in the Chimes of Nor
mandy" and you would expect them
| to sing a merry roundelay or two and
90 few Jig steps If it wasn't for the
| dignity they throw on. Pretty soon
| the band strikes up and in walks the
King. On goes the crown-shiyery nu-
sic from the orchestra-exit merry,
| merry villagers from the scene, and
down comes the curtain, with Richard
Harding Davis and James Creelman in
a mad rush to the cable Office, and AL
bert Edward wondering if his trail
hung right and if his crown was on
straight when they touched off the
| f1ashlight. You couldn't get me to go
to a coronation if they held one across
| the street and send me over a bunch
of box seats free"
No, of course" answered Mrs. Tellit.
You have no idea of the solemnity of
| such affairs or of the impressiveness of
the occasion and its possible effects on
| history"
who read the paper on that at your
womans club?" asked Mr.. Telit, his
| Sherlock Holmes instinct coming to the
| fore Immediately WHO worked that
off at your club hey? 1t takes a wo-
man to see the impressiveness and the
solemnity and the historical effect,
| doesn't it2 All a woman needs is 10
sheets of white paper and a yard of
/ blue ribbon, and an audience of other
women, and she can see a first-class
| quality of impresSiVeness in anything
! from the way to raise the neighbours
| children to the problem of handling the
| meat trust by moral suasion. OF
course, the women think the corona
| ton is all right. They have an idea
that it Is going to be like the royal
affairs they see at the matinee, when
the king rescues the poor maiden from
the bandits and the red light sputters
| all over the scene. Surei That's it,
| Got an idea that Albert Edward is go
INN to jump into the middle of the
| stage and crate few lines about pure
love, have you? Well. he'll be putting
like a freight engine by the time he
reaches that part of the programme,
and he'd give a big round dollar or
! four and-siX-pence, or whatever 1t fig
ures up, to pull a bandana handkerchief
from his royal hip pocket and mop the
royal perspiration from his royal brow.
1t will be about the first time in his life
| that he ever perspired, too"
1T may all be just as you say"
| sighed Mrs. Tellit, but / sometimes
| think that we do not have the proper
reverence for royalty in this country
MY dear" said Mr.. Tellit, in the
calm, even tones of one who is at the
boiling point, I'VE are all kings and
| queens in this country, except a few
deuces that get married"