The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1902-06-07
THAT REMINDS ME-


A story is told of an Irishman who.
while walking with his friend passed a
jewelrv store where there were a lot OF
precious stones in the window. Would
you not like to have your pick?" asked
Not me pick, but me shovel" said
Mike.
Representative Williams of Mississippi
has new negro story.
Are you the defendant?" asked a man
in the court room. speaking to an old
No, boss was the reply. 'I amt done
nothing to be called names like that Use
got a lawyer here who does the defens-
7Then who are your
Use the gentleman what stole the
chickens.
Bridget and Pat were sitting in an arm
chair reading an article on The Law of
Compensation"
Just fancy" exclaimed Bridget, "ac-
cordin' to this. when a man loses one av
his sinses another Is more developed. For
instance. blind man gets more sinse av
hearin an touch, an
''Shure an it's quite true answered
Pat. I've noticed it meseif. Win
man has one leg shorter than the other,
begorra the others longer
Migg-What a beautiful nose she has.
Wagg-Yes. that's her scenter of at
traction.
%
So many persons are operated upon
every day that it is becoming quite
distinction to go to the grave all in
pieces.
The Game of Fame: scribbs-Do you
think your new novel will sell?
Stubbs-Sell? yes, stree; I've hired a
Chicago man to come forward and claim
the plot.
Clinton Zimmerman has just returned
from visit to Ohio and on his journey
out there he went into a little railway
station to have dinner. At the end of his
order he said:
Bring me demi-tasse. also
The waiter stared. What's that?" he
asked.
"a small cup of coffee Mr.. thinner
mann exclaimed. "a small cup of black
coffee-see that it's good coffee. please
demi-tasse means half a cup"
a-goin' to bring you no half cup. We
don't sell nothin' less than five cents
here.'-New York Times
what do you think. James," re-
marked Mrs. Meekton. mother says she
wants to be cremated."
'All right" replied Meekton, tell her
to get her things on and I'll take her
down now"
Outcome of the Farmers suit.-First
Farmer-Has that lawsuit between you
and Haicede been settled yet?
Second Farmer-Yes, and so are the
lawyers.
First Farmer-How do you mean?
Second Farmer-They'r settled on our
farms.
.
'Have you got what they call tabledy
hotel dinners at this eatin house?" asked
the man in the bearskin coat.
No, sir Stepping to the door he
beckoned to somebody on the outside.
Come in, Mandy" he said. they eat in
English here
Teacher-Some one has been throwing
paper behind my back. James, do you
know who it is?
James (who is theculprit himself-Yes,
sir. but I hardly like to tell
Teacher-A very honorable feeling
James, you may sit down.
Boston Browningites.-Mrs Gush-How
do you do, Manda? How did you like the
night?
Mrs. Bluff-oh, pretty well. But
didn't like the way her dress hung.
Mrs. Grace-Nor I, either And it
seemed to me she might have held the
book more gracefully.
A delegation from Findlay, o., went 10
Washington last week to argue for a
federal building. Two were farmers
When they got to Columbus the party
changed to sleeping car. One of the
farmers protested.
Il don't know about this here sleepin'
car business he said. II haint in favor
of this delegation putin on no such
style
why. gol durn We. Jim said the
other, taking his colleague aside, don't
be. shown your ignorance You're going
off at half-cock. This hain't no sIeepin'
car. They hain't a bed in sight,
First Medical Student-whats worry
ing you?
Second Medical Student-You know
am desperately in love with Miss Beautie.
Yes, and have noticed lately that she
has a sad, dreamy. soulful expression"
That's it. l don't know whether it's
love or her liver. New York Weekly.
''I'll give you a trial. said the Chicago
editor. Let me have a pen picture Of
Chicago, that may judge of your style"
But, really. I'm not a photographer,
protested the new reporter.
You don't have to be. I want YOU
to write
"Oh. thought you meant Photograph
lc view of the stockyards.'
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