davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20
MODERN FABLES.
BY GEORGE AIDE.
Four Weeny Little Fables About Folks Who InfeSt the
Earth at This Writing
Copyright by Howar Russell
Copyright 1902, by Robert Howard Russell.
III.
BY GEORGE ABE.

THE ONE OF THE PATIENT TOLL
Err WHO GOT 1T IN THE USUAL
PLACE.
Once there was an Office Employe
with a Copy Book Education.
He believed il was his Duty to learn
to Labor and to Wait.
He read Pamphlets and Magazine
Articles on Success and how to make
it a Cinch. He knew that if he made
no Changes and never beefed for more
Salary, but just buckled down and put
in Extra Time and pulled for the
House he would Arrive in time.
The Faithful Worker wanted to be
Department Manager. The Hours
were short and the Salary large and
the Work easy.
He plugged on for many Moons,
keeping his Eye on that Roll-Top
Desk, for the Manager was getting in
to the Has Been Division and he
knew there would be a Vacancy.
At last the House gave the old Man
ager the Privilege of retiring and liv-
ing on wha tever he had saved.
"Ah, this is where Humble Merit
gets it's Reward" said the Patient
Toiler II can see myself counting
Money"
That very Day the Main Gazooks
led into the Office one of the hand
soonest Tennis Players that ever
worked on Long Island and introduced
him all around as the new Department
Manager
81 shall expect you to tell Archi-
bald all about the business" said the
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

whole landscape into light Green with
yellow Spots on it.
He lived in the dear old Latin Quar-
ter until his Wardrobe was caked on
him. Finally his Letter of Credit pc
tered and he had to return to Illinois,
where the crude Yokels shave every
Saturday Night and put Butter on their
Bread.
He showed up on the Pacific with a
Mardi-Gras Costume, considerable
Dandruff and four bum Sketches. Faith
er looked him over and went for the
AK but Mother talked him out of it.
One Year in the Home of Art had
weaned Alec away from the Simple
Joys of the Middle West. He was all
the time hollering because he could
not get Garlic in his Food. He wore
a Velveteen Coat and smoked Fumigato
Cigarettes and read French Novels
Alec didn't know who was President
of the Country or Governor of the
state and he did not wish to bother
about it.
America simply amused him.
In the meantime Father had to put
up, for Alec was dead set against the
Commercial Spirit. His principal Oc-
cupation was wishing himself back in
Paree and nearly everybody hoped he
would get his Wish.
Once the Directory Man asked Alec's
Father for some Information.
What is your SOM" asked the Di-
Eectory Man.
You can search me-" replied the
unfortunate Patriarch. HE does every
thing that Painter does, except Paint.
He don't want to be called an Ameri-
can and yet 1 can't label him French,
having no Grudge against France He's
a mixture of Partisan, Sucker, Expa-
triate, Four-Flush and Free Luncher,
which makes him, as near as l can fig
nre it, Yellow Mongrel."
MORAL; To a benighted People the
Latin Quarter looks like Thirty Cents.
THE ONE OF THE POOR WOMAN
WHO HAD TO LIVE IN A HOUSE
THAT WAS OVER RUN BY ANEC-
DOTES.
A Gentleman with several Dialects
once married a Woman because she
had the Sense of Humor.
About the time she was up stream
with the Bait but before he had used
the Net. he would call on her and
spring Good One every little while
Whenever he told a ripe old Scandana-
Wan Wheeze or an Irish Bull she
would let out a Whoop and keel right
over among the Cushions He was an
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

of Salem, she was captured by the
British ship Phoebe of 40 guns, and her
captain and crew taken to England and
held as prisoners for seven months; but
the Polly herself did not go to Eng
land-her British prize crew declared
for the young republic and carried her
triumphantly back to the American
flag. The Polly's last fight was with a
rich British merchantmen, said to be
heavily armed, half way between
Mount Desert and the Duck Islands, off
the coast of Maine. This time she was
successful, and brought the merchant
man into port. The Polly, with. her
crew of two men, is to be seen con-
stantly in New England harbors still,
from here to Castine-useful STILL al
though she is as stubby as a ferry
boat and hardly bigger than the gaso-
lene launch which hangs from the
Lawson's stern davits. Though she
may look battered and dingy she is
still as sound as a nut. 1t took nearly
century and half for the schooner
to become a three-master. The first
three-masted schooner was the Zach
airy Taylor, which was built at Phila-
delphia in 1S49 She carried something
less than one twentieth the cargo ca
pacity of the Lawson. The second. three
master was built the same year at
Wilmington in Delaware. Seventeen
years later a British shipyard turned
out the first -master-a four
master, however, by accident, since the
fourth mast was an afterthought when
it appeared that she would be rather
unwieldy with no more than three 1t
was as late as 1882 that the schooner
rose to over a thousand tons register
when the Ellicott B. Church, 1,137 tons,
was built in Maine with four masts.
The year 1884 saw the schooner's reg
istered tonnage rise to 1900 tons; 1887.
to 1000 tons; 1897, 1000: 1900, 5000 tons:
and last week to $500. The first five
master was the Governor Ames. in
1888; the siX-masted Wells, followed
the next year by her rival the Percy,
was built in 1900.
These are bare statistics, but if they
are any indication of the future there
is no telling when the schooner will
stop, except as has been mentioned be-
fore that her size must always be gov
erned, if by nothing else, by the depth
OF the coastwise harbors which she
wishes to enter. Probably the Wells
and Percy are the last very large wood
en- schooners. The special advantages
of steel are numerous. The cost is per-
haps third more over wood, but in
stability, in economy of repairs, and
especially in cargo capacity, everything
Is in favor of steel. The big six-mast-
eFs, for example. had to be braced from
stem to stern by an enormous back
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

bone or keelson of wood, which took up
valuable cargo room. Even then in
stiff sea one could stand at one end
of them and see them give under the
strain of the wind and water. 1t is
probable that owners like Capt. Crow
ley will use steel more and more here
after. One reason, perhaps, for their
not having employed it before is thai
steel shipyards in New England, where
the, schooner has it's special habitat, are
comparatively a new institution; but IN
Maine and Connecticut, and especially
here at Fore river, this difficulty has
now been overcome by the establish
ment. on the most modern principles
of exclusively steel yards.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

ers look like Rabbits, for he was Post
ed and was very handy with the Sub
Maxillary. He wore his Chest a few
Inches in front of himself and no one
could tell him where to get off. In
as much as he was a big, husky Good
LOCKER with all the Manly Accom-
plihsments. he had a panel Picture of
himself leading Miss Blonde into Il
Flat
Number Two belonged in the Sub
Duffer Glass. no matter what Game
he tackled. When he swung at
Golf Ball he usually hit himself in
the Ankle. In sailing a Boat he did
not know a Sheet from a Sail. He
ducked all kinds of Athletic Sports
In Company he became balled up
and often had to be Rescued. He was
no Ring Performer and he knew it.
Therefore, to avoid making too many
Breaks he would go to the Blonde and
confidentially ask her to be his True
Friend and steer him through the
Shoals.
Number One would be out on the
Links, hammering away to win a 50
Cup. but Number Two would remain
under Cover and complain of feeling
a trifie Knocked Out and permit the
Blonde to put Cold Cloths on his Head
Then he would give her a couple Of
those long yearning Looks and tell
her that no one else had ever been
quite so Good to him.
Number One was trying to demon
strate that he was a Deuce of a Eel
low and Number Two was trying to
convince her that she was an Ace of
a Girl.
When both of them had come to
Taw, she did not hesitate. for any
great length of Time
That poor Boy needs a bright and
Clever Woman to take care of him."
said she. He has learned to depend
upon me and it would be Cruel to turn
him -Adrift"
Number Two won by a City Block.
MORAL: Star Her and she will lis
cover your Good Points.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20
THE ONE OF THE PARTISAN
FROM THE HIGH GRASS.


FROM THE HIGH GRASS.
out West there was a self-made
Uosiah with a Son who was brought
GID on Soft Food. He was subject to
Headaches and could not play in the
Sun. Therefore his People decided
that he was cut out for an Artist
He went to Paree to study. What
he wanted was an Atmosphere. So he
engaged a Loft and made up for
Tramp. He fell in with the jolly Stu
dents who were so busy letting their
Hair grow and working the Bohemian
gag that they had no time to change
Collars, etc.
He shifted from Rain-Water to Red
Ink, and let the Trouserials bag at the
Knees. His daily Task was to sit un-
der a striped Awning looking fuzzy
and disreputable. the while he went
against a tall Beaker of the Stuff that
smells like Paregoric and converts the
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

Main Gazooks to the Patient Toiler.
You see he has just graduated from
Harvard and he doesn't know a dunn
Thing about Managing anything ex-
cept a Cat-Boat, but his Father is one
of our principal Stock Holders and
he is engaged to a Young Woman
whose Uncle is. at the head of the
Trust"
II had been hoping to get this Job
for myself" said the Faithful Worker,
family
You are sc valuable as a Subordi-
nate and have shown such an Apti-
tude for Detail Work that it would be
q Shame to waste you on a $1,000 Job"
said the Main Gazoooks. Besides,
you are not Equipped. You have not
been to, Harvard. Your Father is not
a Stock Holder. You are not enga ged
to Trust. Get back to your High
Stool and whatever Archibald wants
to know. you tell him"
MORAL: One who wishes to be a
Ffgure-Head should not Overtrain.
w.
THE ONE OF THE CRAFTY LOVE-
MAKER WHO NEEDED 4 LADY
MANAGER.
At a Summer Resort two Young
Fellows were after a Blonde.
One was an all-round Grand Stander
and the other was a plain Varnish.
Number One could play Is Holes in
Bogey and ride any Jumper that ever
wore a Girth. He was built like an
OK and asked People to feel of him.
for he was as hard as Nails. If any
Argument came up on the Veranda or
at the Dinner Table he made the 9TH
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

Very Observation-Disclosures: 1 be-
lieve a woman can love two men at
the same time.
Mrs. Benharn: If she Is a married
woman she has to try to.
Benham; What do you mean?
Mrs Benham: She has to try to
owe her husband and he isn't the
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20

same man when they have company
that he is when they haven't any. -
Brooklyn Life.
Van Dabble: This is my latest
picture; ] sold it yesterday.
Visitor: Indeed? You are a genius!
-Tit-Bits
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-07-20
MR.. DOOLEY ON THE
PLEASURES OF THE RICH.
BY F. P. dunno.

Copyright, 1902, by Robert Howard Russell.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
BRITAIN MAY AID MARcoNI.
If Experiments Succeed, Company vii
Get Governmental Powers.

London, Dec. at is expected thai
governmental powers will shortly be
granted to the Marconi Wireless com
pany which will enable that concern
to work independently. AT the present
time the official regulations prevent
any commercial wireless operations
within three miles of English shores
The signaling station at the Lizard
which, it is said, was acquired thru
Lloyds at an annual rental Of $1,000
will be used merely for experimental
purposes. Before the success of Mar
conf in sending messages and signals
from the italian cruiser Carlo Alberto
q few months ago, the English author
tiles were chary about recognizing the
commercial utility of the system. Since
the recent triumphs, however, negotia-
lions have been carried on in London
between FL. Cuthbert Hall, the manager
of the wireless company, and certain
postoffice officials, and it is thought
that these will be successful. Mes
sages have already been sent across
the Atlantic, and the officials of the
company are now merely waiting for
Marconi's promised telegram from
Cape Breton before announcing the
immediate commencement Of CONNER
cial operations.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
Arctic Steamers Given Up.

Port Townsend, Wash, Dec. 3.-The
United States revenue cutter Bear ar
rived yesterday from Dutch Harbor,
Alaska, after one of the most tempes-
tuous voyages ever experienced during
the thirteen years the vessel has been
detailed for Arctic service.
Captain futile thinks little hope can
be entertained of ever hearing of either
the schooner General Siglin or the
steamer Dawson City, both overdue
from the north, If they were out in the
storm of the oath, for the severity OF
the gale tested the sea-going qualities
of the Bear, built for Arctic storms and
icebergs. The Bear reports the reindeer
herds prospecting, there being now 5000
animals distributed among the relief
stations of the north.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
Coal HEARING Reopens Today.

Scranton, Pa. Dec. 3.-The entire
membership of the anthracite coal
strike commission is now here and
ready to resume the hearings today. An
informal conference of the commissions
ers was held last evening and the sub
commission appointed before the recess
made a report of what little it had ac-
complished.
1t is now the intention of the attor-
neys for the mine workers to take UP
the conditions in the middle or Halle
ton district. For this purpose about
twenty Italians and Polanders, among
whom there are some women and chill
dren from the Hazleton region, all OF
dren, were brought here yesterday
afternoon from the Hazleton region, all
of whom will be put on the stand.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
Money for South America.

New York. Dec. 3.-The sum of $780,
600 will DE shipped to South America
today. Several banks are interested
in the shipment, which is said to be for
account of the Argentina wheat move
ment. Argentina recently drew on
London for gold but this latter pur-
chase is made here because of the low
er rate. A telegra phic transfer of $780,
600 in gold to San Francisco was made
by the sub-treasury yesterday after
MON
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
STEAMER CREW SAVED.
The Crew of the Wrecked Hebard
MiraculousIy Rescued.

Sault Ste. Marie. Mich, Dec 3.-Likt
men risen from the dead, the crew Of
fifteen of the Inflated Charles Hebard
wrecked at Point Mamain Sunday
reached Sault Ste. Marie on the tus
Aloha, the steamers consort, has We
been found. The rescued men brought
with them a thrilling story of their LONG
battle with the icy waters of Lake
SUPERIOR fight in which death
seemed for a long time to hold the VIC
tory.
After losing the barges, Aloha
Warrington. and Francomb, with
which she started from West Superior
the Hebard tried to hold her course fol
Whitefish point, intent on seeking shell
ter. This object the strength of the
gale and the binding snow storm COM
bined to defeat. but the steamer was
held as steadily on her course as pos
sible.
Saturday night passed with the
steamer running before the storm, hel
crew striving to pierce the darkness for
some sign OF guiding light. AT
o'clock Sunday morning the lookout
suddenly discovered that the boat was
in the breakers An effort was made
TO veer the boat away from danger. but
without avail, and the next minute sht
struck the rocks bow on.
Within a minute from the time the
vessel struck she was swung broadside
to the shore and had begun to pound
to pieces. There was nothing left for
the crew but to try to get ashore, which
proved task that would make any but
the stoutest hearts quail. The crew
rushed to the yawlboats, only to find
them frozen to the rigging so that II
was Impossible to launch them.
On the deck of the steamer lay a
small fiat -bottomed boat, used by the
crew for fishing when lying in port,
This was gotten over the side, but had
no sooner struck the water than 1t
filled. In this extreme peril the first
and second mates took the roles OF
heroes. Fastening lines about their
bodies, they went over the side and
dropped into the plunging skiff. They
succeeded in baling the water from the
boat, and started for the shore.
The mates, who carried a small line
from the wrecked steamer, succeeded
in escaping the crash as their frail craft
struck, and soon had made the line fast.
A running line was rugged and a boat
swain's chair was got ready for use.
Miss Jennie Barnes, cook on the
steamer was the first person to cross
the stormy gulf between the boat and
the mainland The men Of the crew
followed in their turns. all reaching the
shore drenched by the bitter spray from
the hraaknrS
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03

public authorities, that the rule laid
down by. the court requires of and
makes it the duty of the railway COM
pany to remove any and all obstruc-
lions which in anyWise prevent the
view of approaching trains, whether
the same is caused by the natural con-
dition and topography of the country,
or otherwise, and whether the same
may be caused by the deep cuts and
excavations.
The question is an important one
end is becoming more so each year, as
increased speed and the number of
trains render such crossings more haz-
ardous and dangerous. This question
should receive the careful, prompt and
effective action of the lawmakers, if adj
ditional legislation may be found nee
essary to fully protect the public and
railways against this increased hazard
and risk. 1t involves the lives of the
travelling public upon both the railways
and the highways, as well as the en-
ployes and property of the railway
companies.
What has been said about the high
way crossings is in many ways applica-
BILE to farm crossings a grade. 1t would
seem that matter Of so much impor-
lance ought to be settled by means of
definite and reasonable legislation, If
such legislation does not already exist.
"The live stock interest Of this state
provides and furnishes large and i'm
portant item of the wealth of the state.
as well as the traffic Of the railways.
1t has been estimated that Iowa fur
nishes about one-fourth of the live
stock received at the union stock yards
at Chicago. In any event, it is large
and valuable interest, and we may in
fer therefrom that the farm crossings,
to a great extent, are for the use of live |
stock in passing from one side of the
railway to the other thruout the agri-
cultural districts of the state, and that
these crossings should be constructed |
In such manner that all extra danger |
and hazard would be eliminated there |
from, so far as possible. This should |
however, be upon and along reasonable |
ines, and it is the opinion of the board |
that undergrade and overhead cross
ngs should be encouraged and required |
where the cost thereof would not be I'M
or the crossing needless, and |
he strength and safety of the roadbed
would not be substantially impaired
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
The Hawkeye State Carries Off
HOnors at international
Live Stock Exposition
THE ATTENDANCE is ENORMOUS
Completion of the Judges Entries Re-
vealed Greatest Showing on Record
for Number of Animals Judged
Iowa Agricultural College Wins Prin-
cipai Prizes on Cattle and Hogs.

| Chicago, Dec. 3.--Despite the inclem-
the biggest days in point of attendance
| in the history of the International Live
Stock Exposition, 10000 people having
! passed thru the gates during the day
and evening. The judges were kept
Busy on the many important entries
| that gathered in the respective rings,
and when their labors were finished last
night, had made the greatest showing
on record for the number of animals
judged.
The Iowa Agricultural College came
off with flying colors, capturing the
principal prizes in cattle and hogs.
Shamrock, the grand champion of the
show, entered by the Iowa college in
the fat Angus grades, won everything
and aggregated over $500 in cash
prizes.
The Iowa College also won the
prizes for the best general exhibit of
cattle, sheep and swine.
Among the awards We're:
Berkshire hogs-Boar, years old or
over, first, Etzler & Moses. Convey, o.:
boar, year old and under 2, first, S. M.
Burns, Chalmers, Ind; boar six months
old and under / year, first, l. N. john
son, Eibridge, Tenn; boar under six
months old, first, A. L. Jamison, Oneida.
Ill.,; SOW, 2 years old and over. first,
Etzler & Moses; sow, l year old and
under Q, first, Etzler & Misses.
Cattle, grades and crosses-C Champion
yearling, competition limited to desig-
mated classes: Hereford steer, Valiant,
O., George p. Henry, Goodnow, Ill.
Short Horns-Bull 3 years old or
over. first, Choice Goods, G. M. Kase,
Clinton, Mo. az
Grades and cross breeds-Champion
steer or spayed heifers, under / year
old, Angus steer, Charley Jute, George
Williamson, Jackson, Mich.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-12-03
FRAUDS ON PENSIONERS.
Old Soldiers Told They Must Marry or
I oco Thai, Donc;ooe

Washington, Dec. 3-.Pension Com
missioner Ware is almost daily receiv-
ing letters from veterans which disclose
a most unfortunate state of affairs. Old
soldiers turnout the country are being
made the victims of designing men who
persuade them that unless they take
wives they will lose their pensions.
Within few days the commissioner re-
ceived a letter from an old pensioner in
Kansas, in which, after explaining that
he had lost his first wife, he said he had
received assurances from friends that
unless he remarked at once, his pension
of SIS month would be discontinued.
Il don't want to marry" the old SOL
der wrote. II got enough of marriage
in my first venture. I don't want to
tackle it again, but at the same time
/ don't want to lose that pension. 1t
amt much, but 1t helps a heap, and If
it's q case of losing it or getting mar
ried, why. I'll get married. Please let
me know If / have to get married.
The commissioner replied to the old
pensioner that he was the victim of a.
practical joke or a conspiracy, and
assured him that he was in no danger
of losing his pension whether he re-
manned single or got married. Investi-
cations conducted by the pension bu-
reau have disclosed the most extraor-
binary state of affairs In connection
with old pensioners and new wives
Thousands of soldiers of the war of the
rebellion are married to women young
enough to be their granddaughter.
The women, almost without except
ion. become wives for the single pur-
pose of falling heir to the pensions of
their husbands. In this way the PEN
sion roll of the government is being
perpetuated and held up to high figures.
All attempts to break up the practice
have been unsuccessful, and will con-
tinue to be unsuccessful until congress
passes law which will deprive young
widows from enjoying the benefits of
their husbands pensions.