Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-08-20

AnlCker-'l were tueCe any suspicious
characters aboutr Bocker-"only two
policemen"
As they reckon time: How long has
she been on the stage?" "Only about
three divorces" Chicago Record-Her.
aid.
Some one has named a cigar after
Mary MacLane. 1t emits blue fame
and sulphurous smoke-st Paul
Globe.
Nathan Hale Is reported to have said:
~ am sorry that am not cat so ]
could give nine lives to my country
Harvard Lampoon.
"Noodelles never disagrees with any.
body" Eyes; that's what makes II %
disagreeable to have him around
indianapolis News.
Father-"Wcll. my son. whit did you
learn at school today" Little Proc.
tor-"Not to sass Tommy McNutti"-
Chicago Daily News.
Bragge-"I was knocked senseless by
cricket-ball two years ago." The boy
in the corner-"When does yer expeck
ter get over it2"-Tit-Bits.
Truths echo: "Good men, you know,
are scarce" Eyes, l know, and even
bad men have to make themselves 20
at times" Boston Courier.
The optimist: Grandpa-"Well, Hor.
ace. we haven't caught any ash; It's
hard lines" Horace-"But we had good
luck digging worms" Chicago News.
Pugilistic.-Nell-"Did Miss Bilyums
act as II 1t was severe blow when she
didn't get the prlnce?" Believes,
she took the CONT.
Record.
Sunday-school teacher-"And so Lots
wife was turned to salt. Can any one
tell why!" Wicked Willy from the
rear)-"she was too fresh."-Harvard
Lampoon.
Hardhead-"well. every man has
right to his opinion" Pcpprey-"Yes.
but the trouble Is he can't be made to
realize that there may be wrong to
IT, Philadelphia Press.
'That author keeps his Identity close.
ly concealed" YES" answered Miss
Cayenne; until read his books l
thought It was due 10 modesty." Isn't
it?" mo. Discretion"
Star.
Tar from It: Girl with the Gibson.
girl necll-"Fan Billlwlnk has begun to
show her age. hasn't she9' Girl with
the Julia Marlowe dimple-'I should
say not. She's begun to try to hide IT.
Chicago Tribune.
1t was her first ride in an automobile
and she was deeply interested In the
horn that was used to notify people to
clear the way. Papa" she said.
"Wellt" he returned. MAKE 1t snors
some more."-Chicago Post.
Haven't you read that lovely new
noyel?" asked the first summer GIL.
NO" replied the other. 1.-THE only edl.
ton of 1t I've seen has horrld yellow
cover that doesn't accord with any OF
my gowns" -Philadelphia Press.
-soclable: "Well, WE'LL" remarked
Farmer Korntop at the Zoo. .thls here
lion pears to be real good-natured."
"Mebbe," suggested his good wife. Its
one o. them social lions ye read about
in the papers. philadelphia Press.
This is a remarkable climate" said
the tourist. ut is" answered the old
settler ever since have been here
have wondered how climate could
change so many times'a day and every
time for the worse" Washington Star.
Upgardson-"I hear there is some
complaint that the continual dampness
Is rendering many pianos useless"
Atom-T have heard of Its running
great many pianos. but haven't heard
any complain about it, Chicago Trib.
une.
The Observation-Disclosures. children.
why do we love to so to the beautiful
parks? What do we find there that IL
always fresher and purer than It is In
the city," Truthful Tommy (with
cheerful promptness)-"Po sir"
lex.
Yes, count, In all the park there 10
no place like so well as under this
old, old tree" tSighlng sentimentally.)
"There are tender associations, you
see" "Aha. comprehend. nam 'selle.
You have yourself planted the trce!'-
Punch.
81 can't Imagine anything more un.
satisfactory than a meal at our board.
ing house." said the chronic kicker.
MOP" replied the impressIonablc young
man. Evidently you never got kiss
from your best girl over the telephone"
philadelphia Press.
How does 1t come you resigned your
position as Office boy?" inquired the
gentleman of little Jimmie; didn't you
like your employer" YES" replied
Jimmie. ~ like him well enuf, but
didn't like TIL brand Nv seegars he
smokes. "-OhIo State Journal.
Baker-"Didn't see you In your auto.
mobile yesterday" Butler--"That was
because was under 1t. probably.
That's where spent tho greater part
of the day. fixing things that had got out
of killer. don't know as shall get
much riding In my machine; but shall
learn a powerful lot about machinery"
Boston Transcript.
| Remarkable item: Got big story
today" said the marine reporter,
What is 1t? Wreck" asked the city
editor. mo. The brig Albatross came
into port from the South Atlantic. and
she's the first one to come In In month
that doesn't report having had her
deck covered with volcanic ashes while
five hundred miles from Martinique
Baltimore American.
Worry Causes Dyspepsia.
Worry is n cause and source Of