Sunday Washington globe., 1902-02-02
PRODIGY PEABODY.
Not Certified by Civil Service Com
missiOners. But Crawled in Under
the Tent-As Usual.

the Ient-As Usual.
Editor Sunday Globe
Regarding .an advertisement which ap-
peared in a recent issue of the Soft Soap
Times, concerning one Mida c. Peabody,
would state as follows From the spread
eagle manner in which the above men
toned ladys varied accomplishments were
dwelt upon, well, one can hardly be blamed
Tor coming, temporarily coming, to the con
clusion that Mida C. Peabody was several
persons Of renowned ability combined in
one. II seemed to me, from the nature of
the aforementioned ad., that this post
Office lady clerk could keep books with one
hand and translate Spanish with the other,
not 10 mention deciphering divers con
glomerated hierOglyphics supposedly
written by common clerks Of both sexes
without any "fooence") at the same time.
concluded that this lady clerk at least
was several simmons (persimmons) and
very large ones at that, and that perhaps in
time past she had built a. Brooklyn or St.
Louis bridge, or may be several of them;
also thought that certainly such miracu-
lous and unlimited ability must have been
certified by the Civil Service Commission
with many auxiliary qualifications. and al
ways at the head of the list; but, unfor,u-
natelyi upon looking over the commissions
reports, dating before and after the lady
clerks appointment, hnd that such is not
the case. In fact there is no such name on
file as being certified in time past, either as
skilled laborer, plain clerk OF anything
else. Certainly the Civil Service in JUS
tice t?) to such renowned ability, ought to
be compelled to at least make some sort Of
mention of the qualities of this lady clerk
engaged on post-office work To sum up
the whole mater, Mida c. Peabody is one
of those lady clerical employees who was so
fortunate as to get the benefit of the
blanket move of Mr.. Cleveland, and the
less said about her exceptional ability the
better Mrs. Peabody, if not engaged upon
Government work, might obtain ten dollars
per week as reward for her labor in the
commercial market, and then again she
might not get over FIVE. Please let il be re.
membered that the large majority of the
department employees, especially those of
the fair sex are nothing above commonplace
mediocrity and the soft-soap-spurging of
tin-hon dailies only patents their thirst
for low-calibred and very lcheap notoriety.
Certain cheap policemen, and equally
cheap department employees, are endeavor.
ing through the tin horn Times, to compel
the public to believe that they have won
exceptional renown in time past on the
field and they have exceptional ability in
other lines. always found, however, that
those men who packed Colt saber and
musket to the front in the struggles of both
Civil War and frontier service in other
words, those battle-sCard veterans who
bore the brunt of sure enough fighting mot
suffers wagon fghters) are not going
around putting and blowing themselves in
cheap daily periodicals. The old Times
did not happen to please everybody in
Washington
Please let il be remembered as a sure
enough newspaper, however, and not her.
maphrodite conglomeration, or cross be-
tween a circus advertisement, cheap maya.
zine. or Sunday school tract going about
playing toad faced lickspittle in order to
obtain the sheckles of tribe of Govern
ment employees situated in the Capital Citv.
the Times is working an entitely wrong
delivery racket in combination with its
soft-soap editorials. What it needs is this
OF its equivalent: Have a horde of delivery
boys with wheels, gripsacks wheelbarrows
ETC.. hustle around the entire city, and the
Departments especially, and throw ia whole
lunches Of the daily issues in order to let
one half of our population know lust how
great (2) the other half is. In other words
open up something between Rural Free
Delivery and circus posters for the especial
benefit of Washington and the tract of
country in its immediate vicinity.
Out Heroding Herod is not in It compared
with the spread-eagle efforts Of the new
management of the Times of late have
heard of making mountains out of mole
hills before this, but have never had a
chance of seeing this line Of newspaper (7l 4
work before The department employees
who seek cheap notoriety ought to get to-
gether and petition Congress to vote the
Times leather medal and title; sure
enough title if possible, but title of some
sort anyhow. Son OF A VET.
don't read the Times and care not to
keep track of its hypocritical columns of
magni6ed blatherskitiug, but if the Pea.
body article, as mentioned in the SUNDAY
GLOBE few weeks back, is a sample of its
work, well--to use an expression of the