The Wilmington daily Republican., 1902-01-01
JoBsON's BlLD 51'l61!

Ilqmd to the bald spot.
why, what in the world are you doing
she asked him.
Does it look to you as if ] am trying I
cure chiblains?' growled Mr.. Jobson
reply, angry because she, had found biz
out.
"Why," said Mrs. Jobson seeing the lab,
on the bottle standing on the bureau, at
hair restorer!"
What did YOU think it was-Johanni.
berger Of the vintage of '33?' inquired MI
Jobson, sarcastically, ''or maybe yo
thought it was tawny old Madeira? You
penetration, Mrs. Jobson, is OCCASIONAL,
So"
But" interrupted Mrs. Jobson, aren'
you afraid that the stuff will be injurious
have often heard that those so-called hai
restorers affect the minds of some peopl,
who use them, and"
"Oh, you heard that. did you:' mumblet
Mr.. Jobson well, why don't you tax,
time by the foreloek and ring up Gordon
or so of metropolitan police? You might
have me ralroaded TO some asylum, you
know, and then you'd"
But don't you really think" cut in Mrs
Jobson again, chat il nature intends YOU
to be trihe bald, any artificial means that
You may take to-"
VI don't profess to be on such confidential
terms with nature as some folks ! know,
madam broke in Mr.. Jobson, .grandly.
Mature intended whole lot of things that
! don't appear to come out in the cards. Ma.
ture intended, for example, that inquisitive.
ness should be abhorrent to the feminine
mind, and | leave you to Judge how nature
| has fallen down in that respect. There's
| good deal Of poppycock about this leaving
things to nature, at that think l have
observed you apply certain white powdery
substance to your nose with piece Of
chamois on different occasions, haven't j?
Well, if this nature that you appear to be
such chuMs with intended You to walk
through the world with shiny nose, why
do you"
"Oh, '-said Mrs, Jobson, 81 wa. only
thinking that l never heard of one of these
hair restorers really causing-the lost hair
to grow out again, and"
"Didnt t--hey?' broke in Mr.. Jobson.
well, Ahat's just one more of those little
things that You haven't heard of. The
man who recommended this hair restorer
to me was as bald as an orange he told
me, when he started ii TO use the stuff,
and now he looks enough like Paderewski
to be the piano thumper's twin brother
SO FAR as his name is concerned | mean. |
I'll bet you nice, new thimble hat in
side OF a week III have thatch growing
out of that bald spot thatll keep the rest
OF the hair on my head adjusting to main.
tain the same length. don't"
"Was the man who recommended it 10
You the man who was selling ~ inquired
Mrs. Jobson.
"fhats neither here nor there" replied
Mr. jobson, turning red at don't make
any difference whether he was selling zinc
watches or turnips-he's got the hirsue
adornment to prove his statements, and
that's all that | care to know. Fact ia,
though, he showed me a picture Of himself
taken before he began to use the hair re-
storer, and he had no more hair on his
head than Mexican hairless dog Just
you hold yourself down for week, that's
all, aud III show you head o hair that
You won't see>anywhere else except at
game Of football
Mr.. Jobson used the stuff religiously for
two or three weeks, at the end of which
period his bald spot was trihe larger il
anything, and there wasn't even the sign
of goslng pin feathers to commend the
lotion to his further use of it. So he aban.
doned that particular brand of hair re. :
storer and brought home two bottles OF
another kind. He didn't show these to
Mrs. Johson, nor, i'll fact, did he make
any further reference on the subject of >
hair rcstorers. He seemed to have mania p
for trying different kinds of hair restorers. s
lie sent for pamphlets on "The Cause and g.
Cure Of Badness and devoured them :,
eagerly, and on the following day he would !,
send for couple of trial bottles of the u
preparation for The restoration Of hirsute y
By the publisher of the pam. II
phlet b
One night last week he brought home W
smiling countenance and two bottles of m
pale pink fluid. ic,
well, I've got the real thing at last W
he sad to Mrs. Jobson. If, recommended 4,
by about 10000 formerly bald men through.
mt thi. country and Canada and the ties.
imonials are the most convincing litcra-
urc | ever read in my life =,
Mrs. Jobson made no reply. but she ~
'ouldn't help regarding Mr.. ,Tobson with ,,'
Rl"uAt, NH!tH caught ana
escnted. liz
''Oh, You can grin all You're in a mind v
o, he said. IF you think there are so 600 N
ormerly bald people in this country who W
ire deliberately writing themselves down ly
'ars over their own signatures, then I'd
late to have your opinion Of human nature
hats all.
When Mr. Jobson was ready for he'd that
'ght he uncorked one OF the bottles and
ubbed the stuff well into his bald spot for
bout 10 minutes. Then lie turned out the !
as and went to bed. Mrs. Jobson shook ,yi III
i'm awake with a cry of dismay along la!
oWard seven O'Clock on the following morn. :,
1g, She was pointing with mortified tx. w. ae
rcssion to the top OF his head. ret
"W hat the dickens is the matter" asked 10,
lr Jobson, feeling of his bald spot, yo
Look at the color OF it, gasped Mrs b.,
obson.
Mr. Jobson hopped out of bed and raced 'ia!
Yer to the bureau looking glass. where he ,,S 9
W that his bald spot was of a rich russet rrn Tl1
rown in color, as if it had been heavily r
Nnted with iodine. He growled something W.
nd rushed to the wasllstand and applied IOs
IDS to the bald spot. but not a particle b
the color came off. The application of ere
zap and water, in fact, rather intensified y, ~
le color. mi
Mr.. Jobson glared at Mrs. Jobson, ~
.,-. Ill " :, ma
Very well, he said, in hard, strained +
ne This is the end. You have at length 3oc.
-ersteppad tho limit An, n.o,, 81
~ Joi;Ls....i. "onsh VINO ,en
VI utiipeidteiy chiorolorm her husband in rru
e middle of the night and then smear T.
me indelibIe substance ali oror .La 80 NJ
sh;s had 90, 80 ...,. 81, ''ei 'he top i2c.
ms he"u o"' oi pure nlallce--pely well, r
adam; very well; We shall have an I'M g4@
rstanding and final settlement .om. T.