New-York tribune., 1902-02-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


The Boston Herald" is edtorialy responsible
for an alleged tradition that tells how Ralph
Waldo Emerson the Sage OF Concord once went
a wild. reckless spree. Weary OF Marcus Aure-
lus. Alcott and the serene heights OF Concord. he
resolved make a plunge into the vortex OF crime
and folly in A great city vice and the vicious
at close range and thus learn by experience OF the
under world. He went straight to the saloon OF
one Brigham in Boston. IN those days far famed
among Harvard students as the aboriginal inventor
OF more fancy drinks than any since the
days Of Father Bacchus. Bewildered by the festive
scene and the endless list Of beverages he had
never heard OF. he asked Brigham which OF
the whole bbulous catalogue might be relied on 10
impart the largest total OF experience in the
shortest possible time; to which devout inquiry
genial Brigham-who at once took in the situation
is said 10 have replied: "Oh! I guess glass OF
lemonade would be the right thing for you"
And so you're married. Jack" said dear old
Aunt Polly. 'T hope she is a good housewife
fashionable hotel wife most OF the time since our
wedding. philadelphia Press.
pro-Boer German woman living in Johannes
burg writes TO a friend in Germany: The British
soldiers not guilty OF the least excess when
they took possession OF the town. and may say at
that Tommy Atkins is very much malgned
and illuminated person. II he really is nothing
but the scum OF the British nation detrsctors
OF England assert. then. indeed. the English have
supercilious manner which OF them affect and
which makes them unpopular IN foreign countries.
The behavior OF the British soldiers from the com
mencement OF the war was simply exemplary and
unexceptionabe. The alleged excesses and brutali-
ties with which they are charged are simply lies
CTendenzGgen) 5 everybody in this town could
see. These good natured fellows even used share
their scanty rations with the niger children who
crowded around them. Even the Boer women whom
visited at the concentration camp could but speak
in high praise OF the English soldiers. My little
the best OF terms with the Tommies
Their first question always was. Which side are
you on. sonnie? My boy always replied. With the
Beers and in every case Tommy said. That's
right, my boy; always stick to your country"
"LIEBER HEINRICH! HocHw
Ny paw-hes jest as nervous! He's Mayor Of our
He goes I'm TIL evenin' 18th Jest the deepest
He's got German grammar, an reads it all the
For he's to be the chairman on our Prince Henry
He's mumbIin mumblin'. mumblin'-mos' ever
time he's spoke.
" HeInrich Hochi'' '''"'y' f'o'"' lAe0er
Prince Henry-he's a comm now in a week or two
An paw is jest diggin TO get his studies through
Says when he hears asst him? He only mHtters MI
An then he grins right foolish. an gives my ribs
An says: ',Canst du Doytsch spraken? Hoch!
IAeber Heinrich Hoch"'
My maw-she's gettIn' worried. She says it don't
An that she never seen him lose so much appetite
he won't eat no potatoes, unless they're German
An always has that grammar lawn. bv his side
Nav says she'll get the doctor-she says IL amt
When paw has got to snorin' 'Ho-o-och-h, Lieb-
er-r-r-r Heinrich! Ho-o-o-o-c-h!'
Baltimore American.
During my absence" says physician quoted
by THE Rochester Post-Express.' my two bows
got into my consulting room. where they began 10
kafr,
unlocked the door and disclosed skeleton
Pooh! What are you 'fraid Off he asked It's
nothing but an old skellington.' 'W-wh-where did
1t come from?' asked the other with chattering
teeth. oh. don't know. Papa's had it Icng
time. expect it his first patient"
Mrs Innocent-what did you enjoy most about
Mr.. Innocent-I got most excited when 7 was
Mrs Innocent Cbursting into tears>-And toto
ththink you promised me y'yoL wouldn't drink a
drop!-CHarlem Life.
The French Academy has appropriated a sun,
for the maintenance OF album in which three
photographs of every Immortal-one showing tho
full face and two the prohle-wiH be carefully
preserved. When an Academcian dies il is usual
to adorn what may be called the literary Hotel
des Invaldes with his bust but occasionally the
sculptor experiences difficulty in finding trust
worthy representation OF the departed great
What is an inventor" asked the teacher
An inventor" replied the inventors son. prompt
a promoter. er."-(Chicago Post.
philadelphia has rival for Cornelius Wander
bilt as a rich young who works hard" saws
a Philadelphia man, land that is George Widener
son OF P. A. B. Wtdener. George Widener works
considerably harder than scores-yes, hundreds-of
poor men. He is a director in forty corporations
and president OF fourteen railway lines in Phia-
delphia He is in dozen more big corpora
tions, and keeps in touch with each of them He
is not an inventor, as is Vanderbilt but he prob
ably has as mt ch hard work and as many business
interests to occupy his time the New-York man
has"
one OF those advertisement pamphlets which mix
up the story of Mr.. Carnegie's generosity and the
quahtes or somebody's syrup had found it's way
INTO the heart or the West Indian bush. Here an
OLD negro spelled II out and heard to make
the following simple comment: 'Well Him is a
ricn man ION true!" A pause. then: EFF him
would gle me two-pound o. him money, a would |
e6uy dat 1ackass from Brudder Brown."-(New-York |