The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1902-10-26
In Lighter Vein.

All Ohio is taking "a generous interest
in the circus campaign of Tom L. John
son, who is ambitious for Democratic
preferment. In discussing the situation
the other day DIR. E. w. Sullivan, of
Cleveland, well-known Ohio Democrat
| told several stories of other strenuous
campaigns in the Buckeye State.
81 will never forget" he said, "a stump
ing tour which the late General William
H. Gibson made many years ago, when
he was State Treasurer. A short time
before the campaign opened shortage
was discovered in the Treasurer's office.
1t was clearly traced to a previous adj
ministration and really added to General
Wilson's reputation for integrity.
HE was to speak one night in a small
town in Western Ohio, and got an unu-
sually generous reception-brass bands,
crowded hall, cheering, and all that sort
of thing.
" I've been wondering ever since
came to your city, he said, by way of be-
ginning, what the Republican Campaign
Committee meant by sending me here.
You are all Republicans here. l want to
go where there are Democrats to con-
vert
He paused and surveyed the audience.
{" 4 don't believe there is a single DEM
ocrat in this crowded hall! he shouted.
There was a dead silence.
" I'll give So to each and every Demo-
crat who will admit it,! cried the General.
"A big Irishman in the rear of the hall
arose. and in a mighty voice howled:
I'm a Dimmycrat, an faith, don't
care who knows it.
80 you're a Democrat, said the Gen
eral.
81 am, howled the son of Erin.
Then come forward and get your So
" L don't want your money. man., re-
turned the Irishman. Put it back in the
treasury what you stole it from
1.-The General in telling the story (and
he appreciated the joke enough to tell it
often), said that the meeting which fol-
lowed was the only unsuccessful one of
his tri9."
At one of the public receptions at the
White House during the second Cleveland
administration Samuel Clements mark
Twain was presented to Mrs. Cleveland.
On shaking hands with her ne gave
her a card. asking simply:
"Will you please sign that?"
Mrs. Cleveland glanced at the card to
find nothing but the words: HE has
not" written across it. She looked in
amused perplexity to Mr.. Clements for
something further, when the latter ex-
planned.
MY wife said if I came here I would
be sure to come with my goloshes on
but l haven't, have /? So 1 wish you
would sign that for me to give to her"
Mrs. Cleveland looked down at his feet
and then laughingly wrote her name on
the card.
1t is told of the late Senator Matt Car
penter that one day while chatting with
friends in committee room the CONVEX
sation turned on the relative merits of
religious sects. Nearly every member of
the party belonged to some church, and
there had been an animated discussion.
Senator Carpenter pacing up and down,
listening intently enough, but saying not
word.
What church do you belong to, Car
penter?" asked one.
81 don't belong to any"
why don't you join one?"
81 don't want to. None exactly suits
my views
What one would you join if you were
to feel forced to a choice?"
1.-THE Catholic, by all means"
"And why the Catholic?''
Because they have a purgatory, and
that's motion for new trial.
Uncle Hiram. from Corn Center, had
attended his first burlesQue show, and he
Was duly impressed.
Il s'pose, Henry" he said thoughtfully
to his son. that we've been progressin'
all these year, but, by gum! we amt so
far along as l thought we was"
How do YOU mean?" asked Henry.
''Wa'all," replied Uncle Hiram. as he
thought of the costumes. 81 didn't really
s'pose there was anybody Twin who
hadn't got further away from the Garden
of Eden idee than them there girls has
that we saw last night