The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-25
BOWSER IS EMANCIPATED'
His Mother-in-Law Goes Home and
He Has a Holiday.

He Has Holiday.
I reached home this morning after a
visit of three weeks with my son-ln-law,
Mr.. Bowser. In previous articles
have related several little incidents OF
the fiji st two weeks. AS to the third
week will take the days in rotation.
Monday-When Mr.. Bowser came
home from the office this evening, he
was scuffing his feet and had his
shoulders bumped up. He kicked the
the steps he picked up an old teaspoon
which some boy must have tossed INTO
the yard. He assembled the steps with
that spoon waving in the air, and,
mistaking me for Amanda, he cried out:
More waste and extravaganza! An
other milestone on the road to the
poorhouse! Woman, will there ever
be an end to this?''
There win be. Benjamin Burton
end right here and now. If you have
come home tonight with a scrap under
your hat, III see that you are not dis
appointed"
But here is a spoon which has care
lessly been thrown out, as have thou-
sands and thousands of others" he
protested
Then we'll throw it in again, and
you may eat with it. Benjamin, get
that hump out of your neck and either
talk sense or don't talk at all. When
it shown that my daughter is not
capable of taking care of your tea
spoons, I'll see about the divorce my
self"
Mr.. Bowser was grouty all the even
ing, but that made no difference to me-
BY bedtime he seemed to have re-
solved to make the best of things, and
he went to bed without slamming doors
and kicking over chairs.
TueSday.-Before leaving for the Of
flee in the morning Mr.. Bowser talked
about buying hog, but sat down on
him at once. He came home at dinner
without finding any spoons, but he was
just in time to meet the ice man, who
had a bill Of a dollar or so to collect.
by the great horn spoon,'' yelled Mr..
Bowser, but what does this mean?
Must submit to these bold-faced rob-
berries every day in the year? Is my
own wife in cahoots with every swindler
in town."
Benjamin. said as I laid my hand
on his arm, Il don't know anything
about the great horn spoon. but I do
a lump of ice a day for the last month,
and there's the sbilf for it. The ice hasn't
been burned in the range nor given
away to tramps. 1t has been used to
preserve your meats and vegetables and
furnish ice water, and you'll pay for it
and hang on to your breath. AS to any
cahoots business, you'd better look out
| He looked around for a crowbar with
which to strike me dead but not finding
any he paid the bill and sat down with a
sigh. Later in the evening he observed
that If ever he were left a widower he
wouldn't marry the best woman on earth,
and replied:
benjamin, don't fret your gizzard
Amanda will outlive you by ten years, ard
your mother-in-law will probably be hold
ing your hand when you pass away"
! Wednesday--At6 o'clock in the morning
thought I heard somebody sneak down
stairs. and little later I looked out of a
back window and saw Mr.. Bowser max
| ing for the alley. When had dressed and
got down. a man who had horse to sell
was showing the animal off and boasting
that he belonged to the Seek No Further
breed. Mr.. Bowser was hesitating about
closing a sale for $50 when I opened the
/ alley gate and said
benjamin, amt you little afraid that
| this early morning air will have bad eff
feet on your asthma"
II was looking at a horse he STAN
mered in reply.
so I observe I can see from here that
he has two spavins and a ringbone, and
if he isn't blind he ought at least to wear
spectacles. I heard him spoken of as a
Seek No Further. That's correct, Ben
jamin. He won't have to seek no further
for a woman who knows horse from a
giraffe. don't think this is your horsy
day. I think you'd better take my arm
and come in and look at the sunfowers.' .
He looked at me for a minute as if he
meant to have my life. and the man with
the horse and he killed his mother-in-1aw
seventeen years ago, but it ended in Ben
jamin going down into his boots. It's
a wise man who knows his mother-in-
law.
Thursday:-When Mr.. Bowser came
home this evening, he was in good nature
and after dinner he suggested a trolley
ride by moonlight Amanda was ready to
put on her hat at once, but I took him out
into the back yard and said:
benjamin, you took moonlight trolley
ride not long ago. You first got mad be-
cause Amanda. complained of headache
Then you roared at a passenger who hap
pened to step your toes. Then you
yelled at the conductor because the cur
rent happened to be shut off for min
ute and before you had got a mile you
called a. fat man a hog and got into a
fight
ST don't allow anybody to walk on me- ;
says Mr.. Bowser in reply
but are you going out with CHR
on your shoulder? IF you are. YOU can &C
alone. Neither myself nor Amanda wants
to carry club or get into a row. If you
can sit still and look at the moon and be
civil to the other passengers, we will go
but otherwise not.''
We went 1t was hard for him to be-
have. but by pointing my finger at him
now and then I kept him in subsection
and was murdered
Friday.-Mr. Bowser sat down to break
fast and looked all around to see what he
could find fault with. He finally gr0wled
out that the chop wasn't fit for dog to
eat and was going to say that Mrs. Bow
ser probably ordered the cook to drive
tacks into it to spite him when I re-
marked:
THAT will do for this time. Benjamin
knew when you were glad enough to get
Goldfish for breakfast. and I don't want
to hear a word against mutton chops. II
You were my husband, I'd keep you on
salt pork and corned beef all summer
"Are you never going homer" he roared
at me.
'sI am. Benjamin-going home tomorrow
night. but meanwhile don't you get toe
colty- If yop DO. I'll change my mind and
STAY month longer"