New-York tribune., 1902-08-26
TIE TILK or THE DAY.

\ writer sThe Nineteenth century siFeS an
example OF the camp gossip that IS considered
eerio,tslv t,, so, and even serves material for
profound historians. After complete inaction FOR
six weeks at Modder River. two men were over
heard talking they We're taking an after dinner
smoke in the sun. Ave you written ONE. Bill!'
Rtu had written orne An you told 'em the
truth BIZ? Ave you told EN- that were up TO
our knees In blood?'' Bill had
It is not difficult TO guess where the small boy
in the following story which is told by Salisbury
psPeg Bs SCI ss'S Of m faI teeth Papa asked his young
hopeful ShSs 9he ahen you awsS sS I'll bets an
swered the youngsier after @ ort & peT,o@ 1' mn ae@ 81
tKansas City journal
Judge Pennypacker. the Republican candidate for
Governor of Pennsylvania. said certain pop
ular movement sure TO occur at a given time
Some one called his attention TO the danger of
such precise predictions. In reply. the Judge told
OF a Celtic cook who asked her mistress one Mon
day for leave OF absence the following Sunday to
attend her brothers. funeral Why exclaimed
the mistress this is only Monday, Surely. no
body's going 10 keep dead body a whole week.
He's not dead yet. mum. explained the cook
NO? Well he may die to-day or he may live a
month No doctor can safely say that person
win Gle al such a time that day may be set for
the funeral" The doctors nothing TO do wild IT,
mum was the further explanation "Ofm sure
sunday'u be all roight; fr he's sintinced TO be
hung Friday"
When old Uncle John starts off to town
He looks at the straps with care,
What trouble there may be there
l We saved a runaway many a time
BY simply not foreettn' to Just
Look over the harness hrst
Is there not a lesson that be who starts
May aS Ssa11e learn from ri" the plan o{ Uncle John
WI stand him HIN ,nns in stead ,TS SSafe day.
There's many break and burst.
SLook over the harness hrst'
And for him and for her who take the step
The plan that is followed by Uncle John
There hs q a1eG are many weary women and men
thsS ddn asssso
Look oyer the harness first
For him and for her who have to the place
where the ways f2em naie tG John
May well be taken to heart
Perhaps when the bond Is burst
The eyes that sad may brighten-but
Look the harness hrst
IN war and in love there are many defeats
which lead to shame and despair,
whoever r1oe et''y You are, II it's glory gold
or power for which you thirst,
Try Uncle Johns plan when rs time to set out
io'A ' IS e. Kiser in Leslie's Weekly.
DIR ] l. NJ Curry. special ambassador to Spain.
eli he following anecd0te, says haSa-
zine:
In the discharge of his duties in promoting the
ca,se Of education he has been frequently called
unon to address the pupils of schools he has been
Visiting on one occasion he at rural school,
and the usual address was expected at the close of
the exercises The children went through a num-
her Of calisthenic exercises which were probably.
somewhat ella aborated IN honor of the distinguished
visitor and then came the doctors speech. Think
ing that IL was a favorable occasion to impress
,non his youthful auditors the Importance of drill
and practice the doctor after expressing the pleas
ure that the exercises had given him. told the chill
dren that they had done far better than he could
have done and then asked:
"Csn some one of you tell why II is that
cannot do these calisthenic exercises well as
you have done them?
After an instant's pause small hand went up.
and on receiving encouraging word from the
doctor little boy stood up and said
"Cause YOU are old and stiff In the jints which
was not exactly the answer either expected de-
sired.
Another Golf Phrase-Summer Hotel Proprietor
ton ptazxa)-Talk about crust There's Wally Daf-
fngton posing as a golf expert again
New Arrival HIM! Doesn't he play the game at
all?
Summer Hotel Proprietor-P Play? Great Niboks
I'll bet q quart Of wine against hand me down
cockfA that he never cursed foozle IN his iife!-
brooklyn Life.