Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1902-10-04

penSe of Counsellor B., pract1clng
lawyer in the same court, with whom
he was very intimate, and for whom he
had a high regard. On certain occa-
sion when pleading case at the bar,
Mr. B. observed that he would conclude
his remarks on the following day un-
less the court would consent to "set"
late enough for him to finish them that
evening. "Sit, sir" said the judge, mot
set, hens SET" II stand corrected, sir,
said the counsellor, bowling. Not long
after, while giving an opinion the judge
remarked that under such and such
circumstances, an action would not
"lay." Lie, may it please your honor,
says the counsellor, mot lay; hens lay"
A debate once took place among the
members Of the court Of another state
as to how long they would set to dis
pose of the business before them. Three
weeks at last were determined on.
why, in the name of wonder" inquir-
ed a wag at the bar, do they not set
four weeks, like other geese"
The verbal retort Is not the exclusive
property Of the learned wits of the law.
The humble schoolboy may try his
hand at it. Are you in pain, my little
MANI" the benevolent uncle asked his
nephew, squirming after too generous
meal. mo, uncle, the pains in me-
Historic retorts almost invariably
illustrate the quickness which is essen
tial to the success of this species OF
wit. Jekyll was as famous at the bar
as was Dunning for his brilliant re-
partee. Hearing that very empty
headed person had gone to Greece, he
quoted at once. TO the Greeks, fool
ishness." James Smith, joint author
with his brother Horace Of Rejected
Addresses" being challenged for mot
to on rocks and crows, responded in
stantly with the line. 1.-THE cause, my
soul, the cause" To Charles Lamb,
Henry Crabb Robinson, lawyer and de-
lightful companion, was speaking of his
first brief when Lamb said to him,
Did you not exclaim, Thou first great
cause, least UNDERSTOOD" When Alfred
Tennyson appeared in the Oxford thea
tire to receive his D. C. l.. degree his
disheveled hair and generally negligent
state provoked the undergraduates
into greeting him with the inquiry.
did your mother call you early, call
you early, Alferd dear?" Sydney Smith
perhaps despised pet dogs as heartily
as do some of us, and this may have
given the sting to his answer to the
lady who begged from him motto for
her poodle, Spot" "Out, damned
Spot" was his suggestion; but 1t was
no doubt too near the truth to be adop-
ted.
One of the keenest of journalists and
wits, Moritz Gotleib Saphir, had the
better Of the irate stranger against
whom he ran by accident, at the corner
of a street in Munich. Beast" cried
the offended person, without waiting
for an apology. Thank you," said the
journalist, land mine is Saphir.'
The battle Of words Is as exhilarating
as it is harmless when the combatants
keep alike their brightness and their
temper. In the "reminiscences of Sir
Barrington Beaumont-he describes a
dinner party at Horace Walpole's.
Charles James Fox was one of the
guests, and at the last moment Charles
Selwyn, the readiest Of wits, whose
strange weakness was attending exc
cutions, strolled in, evidently in the
best Of spirit.
Charles looks as cheerful as though
he had just come from an execution
remarked Horace Walpole; and Fox
said, smilingly:
"a namesake Of mine was to be hang
ed at Tyburn today. I suppose you
were in at the death, Selwyn?"
"No, my friend" said Selwyn, Il
make a point Of never frequenting re-
hearsals." This turned the smile
against Fox.
A retort which hit as hard as this
was made upon would-be poet at his
club. ST." said he, have written a
great number of poems. but I do not
propose to have them published until
after my DEATH"
"Hurrah!" shouted chorus Of
friends, raising their glasses. "here's
long life to you, old mani"
The most effective kind of rejoinder is
that in which your antagonist Is hit
hard by your seeming agreement with
him. The tender mercies of the wicked
are cruel, and of the witty also. AS.
for example, when Voltaire spoke high
ly of Haller and then was told he was
very magnanimous to do so, as Haller
had spoken in quite contrary way of
him. Perhaps" remarked Voltaire,
refectively. and after a pause, per
haps we are both mistaken"
At the ordinary" as the dinner isl
called on market days in an English
country inn-probably because it is so
much better than ordinary-a company
of travelling men met one day some
where in the north of England. Among
the group there was drummer whose
conversation was not distinguished by
excess of either wit or understanding.
AS is generally the case with people
who have nothing to say worth hear
ing, he talked a great deal, to the evil
dent disgust of the rest of the company.
When cheese was served in the usual
course, it was of a decided ''lively"
bro nd r,onnh % the dalisrht of the ir-