davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1902-03-30
Please, Mr.. Smith, please,
Give us an Easter egg.
If you do not give us one
Your hen shall lay an added one.
Your cock shall lay a stone,

Egg contests survive In many rural
parts of England. A popular game is that
OF egg-smashing. Eggs are pitted against
each other in shell-breaking contest,
the owner of the egg that cracks the
other taking the spoils home in a bucket
for an omelet. In Northumberland, II
man asks 4 woman for an egg on
Easter, and is refused, he may take off
her shoes and keep them until she pays
penalty. II 1t is a man who refuses
the egg to a woman, she snatches away
his cap and holds 1t for redemption by
money forfeit.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
CRABS THAI HUNT RABBITS.
Drive Them Out Of Their Holes into
Waiting Nets.

Catching rabbits with a crab Is a
fayorite pastime of the country boys
in the lands lying on the English
coast. One would think a mouse trap
and a bit of cheese would be a saner
method. but it isn't. The way they
work 1t is this:
A lcrge, lively crab is caught on the
shore and pressed into service. From
a lighted candle hot grease is dropped
ON the back of the crustacean ana
the candle stuck upward In this way
ON the shell. AS 70 as the grease
holding the candle has hardened firm
" the crab is placed in n n OF
a rabbit burrow, at the other end OF
which there is a net. The rabbits, see
ing the TRANCE looking creature COM
ing toward them sideways with q
lighted candle on its back, become ter
rified and bolt out, to be caught In the
net of the hunters. In due time the
crab also energies and is caught and
placed in the mouth Of another bur-
row to scare out other rabbits. This
continues until the boys have bagged
all the rabbits they want. II the crab
proves himself lively and works hard
in their behalf the hunters generally
restore him to the sea after the nights
sport is over.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
ComicaI Trade Circular.

A trade circular which has been is
sued in English by a German firm has
caused many a laugh in certain Brit
ish trade circles. The writer intro
duces himself as a mandatory Of
water-tight and ireproof clothes for
mining and industrial works" and he
promises to send everything free
pockage fixed for cash." He says:
Since long time in mining and re-
sembling works the fact is known and
unpleasantly perceived that leather
clothes, which mostly have been used
till now, by no NEAR can suffice for
the claims to be called for water-tight
clothes. Therefore, instead of leather
clothes such ones Of oiled or caout.
chouced stuff have been tried to use,
but these also have the inconvenience
to be too much too heavy and incom-
mide to hinder the free movement Of
workmen." He concludes as follows:
Proves Of stuff and whole clothes will
be sent to, when desired"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
NOT HIS STYLE OF PRAISE.
Exhorter Objected to Piano Music and
Got a Trounclna.

There is a prosperous and popular
United Presbyterian church in Jersey
City of which Donald Murray is a
prominent member. He was invited
to lead the midweek prayer meeting
recently. When he was escorted to
the platform by the pastor, DR.. Henry,
to conduct the exercises he discovered
the pastors daughter seated at a pi-
ano as if prepared to play, and de-
clared that he would not permit in
strumental music at the service. The
pastor declared that the piano should
be used and Mr.. Murray said that. he
would smash the instrument If an at
tempt were made to play it and pro-
ceeded to carry out his threat. The
pastor and two young men in the con-
gregation seized Mr.. Murray, one OF
them taking him by the throat and the
other striking him with such force as
to bring on hemorrhages. A police
man was called in to make the breth'
rem dwell together in unity, and when
the case finally got into the courts the
pastor and two of his strenuous as
sistants were acquitted and the other
was found guilty, but was dismissed
without penalty.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
First American Advance AGENT.

Col. Nate Salisbury, partner of Buff.
falo Bill in the Wild West Show, was
at a dinner party the other night and
related some amusing incidents Of the
shows tour in Europe. Major John
M. Burke, the famous advance agent
OF the entertainment, was also present
at the dinner, and Col. Salisbury told
several jokes at the majors expense.
Why, do you know" said Col, Sails
bury, when we arrived at Madrid the
first thing We saw was a gigantic sta.
tue OF Christopher Columbus. To my
surprise Burke went over, and, taking
on his hat, knelt before the statue.
What are you doing there, John?'
] asked.
Paying my respects to the great
original American advance agent re.
piled Burke"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Joe Jefferson Apprehensive.

Joseph Jefferson is a firmly estab-
.ished favorite of Yale, where he an
ndally delivers an informal address be-
fore the undergraduates on the after
noon preceding his evening appearance
at the HYPERION theater. Last year Mr..
Jefferson was taken by a senior to
''Mory's," the orthodox chop house that
Is one Of the ladtnarks of Yale. The
rooms are mellow with age and rich
with tradition. and are generally con-
ducive to "reminiscences. Mr.. Jefferson
was discussing the life to come. and
was asked by his student host:
"Mr. Jefferson, it is caid h a we shall
have the same character of work in the
next world as on earth. Do you expect
to be an actor in heaven"
"Well," replied MI. jefferson, I'll tell
you. I am afraid that If 1 each the
golden gates st. Peter will shake his
head and say: For heavens sake, Joe,
change your roles!' New York Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Convicts Write AphoriSms.

The inmates of the Connecticut state
prison edit a paper called the Monthly
Record, a part Of which is devoted to
~sphorisms. Here are a few specimens:
talking too much is not one Of our
faults.
Most men who follow the races new
er catch up with them.
1t is not always the other fellow that
needs reforming.
Don't regard our wasness; only our
i'ness, and our nenceforthness.
If time Is money, we would like to
swap our surplus supply for cash.
About the Only time some people tell
the truth Is when they talk in their
sleep.
We have no spring poems in this IL.
sue. Our circulation ought to double.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
A pleasure Postponed.

Here is a conversation between a PAIR
of Berkshire sweethearts:
John" quoth she, why doesn't zee
say summat?" .
John reflected. "Cause / ha'nt got
nothen' to say" he replied.
Again there was silence, and orse
more 1t was the woman who took the
initiative.
."John," she inquired. tenderly, why
doesn't zee tell ma that thee loves mar
""Couse I've telled zee that afoor,' an
swered John, who evidently dtsap-
proved of vain repetitions.
But the lady vas tenacious OF her
privileges, and not easily daunted.
"John," she asked, for the third time,
why doesn't zee gimma a kiss?'
The tardy wooer pondered long.
ct be gwine to. presently" he said, at
length.-Cripple Creek Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
VIII He "Papa,s Wife,

Justice Henry Bischoff, of the su-
preme court, was a widower for several
years. Recently he announced his
forthcoming marriage to Mrs. Cola
more, an old friend of his family. His
daughter, who is married, asked him
how she should il future address her
stepmother.
Should / call her mamma" asked
she, cor what?"
II think" said the justice. you ought
to call her Anna Held"
Anna HEIDI" repeated she. inquir-
ingly; why 500"
because she will be 'papa's wife"
remarked the Justice, with a chuckle.-
New York Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Taken by


There are some hospitable creatures
VINO are greatly disturbed II they can.
not meet every demand made on them
although there are cases when Il Is
RIDICULOUS to expect them to be able
to be equal to the occasion. Recently
a barn took fire on a large estate, and
the hremen of the village worked hard
TO put out the flames. After it was
all over the husband asked the fire.
nghters into the house to partake OF
Gomez and whatever edibles were or
nand. His wife welcomed the men
with steaming cups Of coffee, dough.
nuts and pies, then she said apollo
getically: ooh, IL I had only known
mis- was going to happen I would
have had a lot Of things baked up."
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
CostIiest City I'm the world.


Only one public official in the United
States handles more money h he
comptroller of New York city, and that
official is the secretary Of the treasury.
The government of Greater New York
costs more every year than the COM
bined expenses of half a dozen states.
From the years beginning TO the end
the comptroller of the metropolis re-
ceives and disburse3 over 5000, 00O, 900.
Half of this is paid into the treasury
through taxes and other sources Of rev.
enue, and half is paid out in the run
ring expenses of the city, a large part
of which is expended in salaries and
wages OF city officers ana employees;
for there are 10000 persons on the
city's pay roll-persons enough to make
a very good-sized city in themselves
Harry Beardsley, in Leslie's Weekly.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Couldn't straighten q

Breed, Wis, June isth.-ca
Peterson of this place, Justs
Peace for Oconto County tss
lowing story:
For years I had an acHns
my back, which troubled me 'e'
especially in the morning.
"I was almost unable
my back and the pain was u,
ct did not know what y wa,
ing an advertisement OF DoOa'
Pills, I concluded to try ~
81 can only say that one ~ !
done me more good than any
ever did. !.
"I feel as well now as eys
ct have recommended D0l
Pills to several Others, WEE !
them with good results.
Mr.. Peterson is a mgIn
man and one who would hO.
~ make a statement unis''
solutely true.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Made n Mistake.

The following is told Of an American
gentleman who was recently stopping,
with his wife, at the Hotel Cecil, in
London:
On their first evening there he hap
pened to retire somewhat earlier than
his spouse. Arriving at the door Of
what he imagined was his own room,
and finding it locked. he tapped and
called, Honey"
No answer came, and again he called,
more loudly, Honey"
Still he got no reply, and, becoming
somewhat uneasy, he shouted the en-
dearing term with his full lung power.
This time a reply came. and in a male
voice: rs
go away, you blithering idiot! This
is a bathroom, not a blooming bee
hive!"-PhiladeIphia Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
. A Crushing Reuly

Referring to THE Pulpit n
question raised by DR.. Hortss,
esting experiment, a North LO,a
lister writes:
II think we ministers rays
criticism, but we get too Itus \
One recalls in this connectm !
ry OF the young minister valid
with one OF the elders ater DE
snce Of his first sermon. AAs
moments silence the latter Obsd
You were not long"
II am very glad to hear yus !
replied the youthful cleric /
afraid I was tedious"
oh" was the crushing red
were tedious" -Westmlnster Cd
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
s4In Vino yerita..,,

The very fulsome tribute paid by Sec
rotary Of War Root to Senator Plat, at
the recent Amen Corner dinner-re-
markable when viewed in the light Of
other public utterances made by Mr..
Root concerning Mr.. Platt-was draw
Ing to a close, when Lieut.. Gov. Wood
run leaned over to Senator Plat and
said, with a smile:
Sweets from the bitter"
Gazing abstractly at Secretary Root,
who, In concluding his grand perora-
ton, raised his champagne glass above
his head, and called upon everybody ito
drink to our noble leaders health" Mr..
Plat said. musingly:
I'm vino veritas. "-New York Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
The Crimson
., 1,..1 >: ~: Blind

shouting, could hear the snarllng clam
or of the dogs. At the foot of the drive
she paused and called steel softly by
name. To her intense relief, he came
from the shadow.
IT am here" he cried. "Do you want
me-"
Yes, Yes!" Enid painted. Never
more were your services needed. My
sister is dying; my sister must--die.
And Hatherly Bell is with her, and
you understand"
"Yes." said David. "a vivid flash OF
understanding had come to him. BELL
shall do as ] tell him. Come along"
Hold him up, lear doggies," Enid
murmured. "Hold him up, and I'll
love both of you forever"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

Damocles had been invited !
with the King of Syracuse. A|
his seat he instantly saw nj
hanging by a hair above BIS ha|
II suppose" he said to the Il
call that the hair apparent 4
us, pretending to see no hunr|
remark, replied:
"I don't know about that 4
but II 1t falls upon your ha.
make some crown prints"
This shows that the ancienS I
averse to Joking, even unde'
cumstances.-New York Tina
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Peculiar Answers.

Here are some answers to questions
In examination papers: What religion
had the Britons? A strange and ter.
rinie n called religion of the dudes.
What caused the death of Cleopatra?
1t was because she bit a wasp. What
can you tell Of Johnston2 He sur.
vived Shakespeare in some respects.
What Is the spinal column? Bones
running all owe the body. II /.
considered dangerous. Name a do
nestle animal useful for clothing and
describe Its habits. Ok. Doesn't have
any habits because it lives in a sta,
pie. What is the function OF the gastric
'uiceY To digest the stomach.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
MRS. PAULINE Jmso,

Secretary Of s~chsrnsrbo,, ~
Brooklyn, New Yas
four months, when INV bn,s.-
impatient because l grew rsass
of better, and in speakir. wv" y :
gist he advised him 10 =.
Pinkham's VegetablsoL.y1
and Sanative Wash. n.y. .l \
had taken that at first, i,
saved me weeks of suffer-. ~ !
three long months TO restp..
1t is a happy relief, and :. \
most grateful to you. You,n Y
has brought Joy to On, :.
health TO me. - IRs. Pr
~ Hoyt Street, Brook,ra \
$4,000 nsrfsit " sbsOs tsstims.i.s :
1t would seem nv M,
ment that women u sSS
time and much sicknsw n
would get Lydia E, pa.
Vegetable COMPOUND y
and also write to Mrs. pI,A
at Lynn, Mass, for sn.ss|
vice. 1t is free and alEsu5
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

we are on the right track at last. But
why did you send me that note just
now?"
David smiled as he lighted a cigar
cite.
TT Is part of the scheme he SAID
part of my scheme. you understand,
But, principally. I sent you the note
because Miss Enid asked me to"
ITO De Continued)
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Indie. Can Wear ny

One size smaller after ~
Foot-Ease, a powder. -
or new shoes easy. cures
sweating, aching feet s,o,s
eorns and bunions. All .sstss
shoe stores, Csc. Triar
by mail. Address Ansn
Leroy, n. Y.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
IN. Furnished II.

Your husband impresses me as be-
Ing a man OF wonderful self-control,"
said the new neighbcr.
well, he hadn't much when I mar
ried him." rejotned Mrs. Diggsby. shut
of late he's been getting all that's COM
ing TO him."-Exchange.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
rorce Of Habit.

wilbur" asked the patlsl.'
who taught in the night sen, ssIS' /.
your writing so dreauiu'
DOWN." uy,
Don't know" answer
it's cause / run an
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

A COLD iLd,. asys
leads to p~neumonia and sooo 81
Coles Cough Cure as soUl carss
begins and a few doses VII bslpJ y
money back II it doesn't
80 cents at druggists.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

A penny saved Is a pgoliar n
a dollar saved Ii
loan. -
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
Far From II.

Els he a hard d~rinker?"
Indeed. no! It's the easiest thing
hA does."--Philadelphia Bulyietin.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19
WHERE D0cT0R,
To Cure Woman's N.
pinkham's Vss n !
pound Succeeds S NJ |,
!. Judson Writes: Id

DEAR Mns, PrsKH.r.-,l
my marriage two year.
myself in constant nj; ago
said my womb was PAN IeI
caused the pain with urhsd i
Illumination. He preso vGnsid.|
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

A wise man knows the vas 80,
when q child begins
him.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

n most
IA In Il
Fshed b,
fican A
fecolor,
fnest a
kcan m;
|l0ap In
.heof
fproduc
Mutt;
.an an
Fun, W
4 Of the
10 view
|pr@enr
in
direcr
4 and i
VIII
|and tex
Rable in
Pacal s
fsCode
piles Of
Hk, Is
Hdeer,
Erin su
In
n mp
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

DIR. d.. ran P"weli, ST. Paul, MINI.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

: d. Franz PowelI, st. Paul, Minn.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

NN~
it is
bad pr
n charge
month
brian te
etain ST
the
he We
the W
hgh the
kd as a
Bishop |
ers, ant
IONS for
Bw, aftel
EstoiCisr
\ Of Sc
became
was
ne done
Ia hatre
'Cne.
b. ar
b, gen
band
y he hs
n WIuTe'
{
.henI {
the mo
Pave fe
hn to G
e
knew
\ II hat
she
lnes thl
H. v
Pleon, |
pee we
rs Of d
POSE mi
h enclos
f, and
Of ma
BED, wi
into 4
Pad Gig
H~N~
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-06-19

eyes 0
abroad,
scus b;
Ior mon
b capt.
AIKEN al
ial.
h WON.
/ ono
letter
her are
Of
Ieolino
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-12-23
LAS VEGAS.
From the Record.

From the Record.
Mrs. Jose Leyba left her home and
husband and wandered down town,
where she filled up on bad whisky and
had a wild time generally. Today she
vas sporting two very black eyes as
souvenirs of the occasion.
A little Mexican girl named Martin.
eZ, who lives across the railway tracks,
was badly burned around the body.
Her clothing became saturated with
kerosene while filling a lamp and in
some became ignited, burning
p her severely before the fire could be
eXtinguished.
Some time ego, little Eddie Maloney
ran a splinter into his hand, which is
causing considerable trouble just now.
At the time of the accident is was
thought that the splinter had been re.
moved, but it seems a piece remained
and gradually worked its way up to the
elbow, causing IN abscess which nee
essitated an operation for its removal,
The little fellow stood the operation
bravely and is getting along nicely at
last reports.
The Santa Rosa stage treated its
passengers to a little excitement just
as it arrived in town. As the stage
swung around a corner in old town,
pulled by four big horses. it turned
over, throwing the passengers out into
the mud and slush, with the exception
of Filadelfo Baca. He was caught in
the overturned stage and dragged for
some distance, but, fortunately. with.
ont receiving and serious injury be.
yond a badly bruised leg. The accident
was caused by making too short a
turn.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-12-23
Biggest Sign in the World.

New Workers, who are used to big
things, have been astonished during
the past week by a painted sign at the
corner of Broadway and Spring street,
covering the north side of two eleven
story buildings. The sign covers 49,
4l6 square feet of space and is by far
the largest advertising sign ever paint
ed. The picture is the well known
figure of Sunny JIM" who for so
many months has testified to the good
ness of FORCE" not only over the
entire United States, but in the United
Kingdom, as well.
In this picture, sunny Jim" is 112
feet 6 inches in height. His hat is II
feet 6 inches tall and Is feet broad. His
nose is 10 feet long. His ear is 3 feet
8 inches high. His arm is IT feet long;
his legs go feet long. His thumb ex-
tends over a space of 5 feet. The
height Of his collar is ~ feet 6 inches,
and his tie is I feet 6 inches in height.
His cuffs are 8 feet 3 inches wide. The
buttons on the Goa are 8 feet 8 inches
in diameter, and his cuff buttons are 3
feet o inches in length. sunny Jim's'
feet are 20 feet long. and the cane
which he carries is so feet in length.
His dog, which sports along by hi:
side, is AZ feet 6 inches in height.
With this enormous sign, the read
ing matter is very brief and fills but a
small part of the space. 1t is as fol
lows:
"Vigor, Vim, Perfect Trim,
FORCE made him Sunny Jim A"
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1902-12-23
A Few Pointers About a Good Town in
Southern New nexico.

Keep your eye on Deming.
Deming has just been incorporated.
Deming, the coming city OF New Mex
leo.
Deming has a magnificent school sys-
TEN.
Deming. the railroad center of New
Mexico.
Deming. the gateway to the best part of
Old Mexico.
Deming! Don't overlook it II you are
looking for a safe and paying investment.
Deming, the seat of the new county of
Luna.
Deming is the great mining center OF
the southwest.
Deming water is chemically pure-equal
to Polan springs.
Deming has increased so per cent in pop
ulation in our years.
Deming water and pure ozone make
strong and healthy people.
Investments in Deming lots will double
and treble in one year.
Deming has now a large ice plant and
electric light system under contract.
In Deming the demand for rental
houses is five times in excess OF the sup
ply.
Deming has an abundance OF water for
irrigating vineyards. orchards. or gar
dens.
Buy lots and build in Deming. Your
rental returns will be 20 per cent on the
investment.
In Deming good safe loans can be had
at better rates han in the old established
towns.
At Deming you can buy lots at 800
which will pay you 100 per cent in less
than twelve months.
In Deming another good hotel is needed
to accommodate the enormous increase OF
population.
Deming is a great health result-has no
superior in climate for the cure of pull
monary troubles.
Deming will be the great smelter center.
Two large plants will be Installed within
the year.
Why buy high priced lots when you can
get them in Deming cheap now, with GER
tain advance assured?
Agricultural lands in Deming are unsur-
passed for fertility, production OF fruits
and vegetables Of all kinds.
Deming offers the same opportunities
now that the most prosperous cities in the
west offered several years ago..
Deming needs one hundred new houses
to supply the demand. and needs them
now. This emand continues to grow.
Deming ships over 10000 head OF cattle
annually: is the center of the Creates.
breeding region in the southwest and cat
tlemen all know this.