The Lewiston teller. (Lewiston, Idaho) 1900-1905, 1902-08-28
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just arrived outside. sir. st. Peter
Volcanoes or automobiles ?-Life,
Mrs. Hoon-The deacon is such q
good man. Mr.. Hoon-Yes; but some
times l fancy his halo is a tritie too
small for his head Puck
Rarber-Will you have anything on
your face when have finished. sir?
Nictim-I do not know. But l hope
you'll leave my nose at least.-Tid-Bits.
Blonde Bridesmaid - The ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
the family. Other Bridesmaid SISTER
to the bride)-No, she only sent q
pickle fork Life
With String: Little Johnny-My
paws Republican. What's your pawp
Little Geogie-He says he's independ-
ent. but nav outlines his foreign
policy.-Chicago Record Herald.
Possible: Uncle Stephen - Sarie.
here's a piece bout how they're telle-
graffin 'thout wires. BY jinks!
| wOodent be 'sprised to hear next thee
they're sendin' letters 'thOut postage.
StdInpS.-JuuSe.
An Awkward Deadlock: "Why are
they not speaking?" "They quarreled
about which loved the other more"
"Wellw "And now each Is afraid to
give in for fear of offending the other"
Brooklyn Life.
He had asked the Boston maiden for
kiss. ooh, SIR" she cried, blushing,
II have never been kissed in all my
life" well. suppose somebody has
got to break the Ice" replied the
practical young man.
Preparing for the start: "Mercyi
where did you get all the books?"
why, I'm trying to read up a few OF
them 80 as to know what to take away
to read when leave for my summer
Northumberland Plain Dealer.
The Thoughtful Girl: Madge-Dolly
Is going somewhere with that young
man this evening Marjorie-Yes. GO
ing to sit with him In the hammock.
Right after dinner she went upstairs
and put ON a dark shirt-walst. "-Port-
land Oregonian.
Curate-Why don't you come to
church, John? Come next Sunday, VIII
you? John-'Ow long do 1t last. SURF
Curate-Oh, not very long. About an
hour or so. John-Lor', bless yer, eur.
1t bain't worth while changing yer
shirt for't!-Sketch.
Miss Fairfax-Good -mawin'. Aunt
Caroline Why amt you washin' now
Eadays? Aunt Caroline (removing heR
pipe from her mouth)-Well. you see.
Miss Clara, rs bin out o. wuhk 20 long
dat now, when l could wink, flndD
+, rs done los NAH taste TO- it.-Judge.
| WHY'S Reply: willy-I met our new
minister on the way to Sunday-school,
mamma, and he asked me II ever
played marbles on Sunday. Mothers
HIM. And what did you say to thaty
| Willy-I said: Get thee behind me-
Satan and walked right Oh and lefe
him-Tid- Bits. NJ L
"why do you carry that umbrella,
little boy? It's not raining. mo, sir. "
i "And the suns not shining" mo
sir" ''Then why do y0u carry itfes
"Well, when It's raining pa wants IL
and when the suns shining ma wants
1t. and It's only this kinder weather !
can get to use 1t at all.
Mrs. Hicksy (who Il entertaining her
little sons playmate. aged nve. to din
ner)-Willie. can you cut your own
meat? Willie (who b struggling with
a piece on his plate)-Yes, thank ron
with I desperate saw ut the beeO. I've
cut twice 40 tough meat a. this a.
home Glasgow Evening Times.
It IL told Of q learned professor, who
was better at Greek than golf, that
after round on the links In which hes
had foozled most OF his shots, he turn
to his caddie for advice a. to improving
his play. The reply Of the ruthless
caddie was: Eye see. sir. it's easy ~
teach laddies Latin and Greek. but +
needs head for gown"
Really Ratified: did you feel II II
nervous when You got up to read yepE
essay on The Essentials Of the -.
sentially Essential before th41
crowdY'' eyes," the sweet girl 9rAde
uate replied; II was awfully upset
had noticed Just az walked 0ut upco
the stage, that my left shoe-stting No.
united Chicago Record. Heraid.
Fate: Once there were two beautifu1
white eggs laid side By side IN : uico
new nest. A great big man gethero
them up with his rough hands and eol1
them to a grocer. And one little -
was good little egg, and went into a.