Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-11-25
MARK TWAIN WORRIED
Humorist Is Anxious About His
Obituary Notices.
PREFERS TO. EDIT THEM HIMSELF

Nc nay CObreCt "tne ter0lCta," but
not sthe Facts"
Mark Twain. the well known humor.
ist recently wrote to. the editor of
Harper's Weekly asking him to insert
the following amusing advertisement
Qt-eow, agate. inside) and to send
the bill to him. He said:
am approaching seventy. 1t is in
sight. 1t Is only three years away.
Necessarily must 90 soon. 1t is but
matter Of course wisdom, then, that l
should begin to set my worldly house
in order now, 80 that 1t may be done
calmly and with thoroughness in place
of waiting until the last day, when, as
we have often seen, the attempt to set
both houses In order at the same time
has been marred by the necessity for
haste and by the confusion and waste
Of time arising from the inability of
the notary and the ecclesiastic to work
together harmoniously, taking turn
about and giving each other friendly
assistance-not perhaps in fielding,
which could hardly be expected. but
At least in the minor Offices Of keeping
game and umpiring-by consequence
Of which conflict of interests and alb
sence Of harmonious action a draw has
frequently resulted where this Ill for
tune could not have happened II the
houses had been set In order one at a
time and hurry avoided by beginning
in season and giving to each the
amount Of time fairly and justly prop.
er to 1t.
In setting my earthly house in order
I find 1t Of moment that should at
tend in person to one or two matters
which men In my position have long
had the habit Of leaving wholly to 9th.
ers, with consequences often most re-
grertable. wish to speak Of only one
Of these matters at this time. obitua-
ries. OF necessity an obituary Is
thing which cannot be so judicously
edited by any hand as by that of the
subject Of 1t. In such a work 1t Is not
the facts that are of chief importance,
but the light which the obituarist shall,
he shall dress them in. the conclusions
which he shall draw from them and
the judgments which he shall deliver
upon them. The verdicts. you under
stand; that is the danger line.
In considering this matter. in view of |
my approa ching change, 1t has seemed |
to me wise to take such measures AZ
may be feasible to acquire by courtesy |
Of the press access to my standing |
obituaries, with the privilege. II this is
not asking too much. of editing not
their facts, but their verdicts: this not
for present profit further than as con-
Germs my family. but as a favorable
influence disable on the other side.
where there are some who are not
friendly to me-
With this explanation Of my motives
will now ask you Of your courtesy to
make an appeal for me to the public
press. 1t Is my desire that such jour.
la1 and periodicals as have obituaries
4 me lying in their pigeonholes with
! view to sudden use some day will not
vait longer. but will publish them now
md kindly send me a marked copy.
Ny address Is simply New York city.
have no other that is permanent and
lot transient.
will correct them--not the facts,
'ut the verdicts-striking out such
lauses as could have deleterious in
uence on the other side and replacing
hem with clauses Of more judicious
haracter. I should of course expect
D pay double rates for both the omis-
ions and the substitutiOns, and
hould also expect to pay Quadruple
ates for all obituaries which proved to
e rightly and wisely worded in the
thus requiring no emenda-
Ons at all.
1t is my desire to leave these amend
1 obituaries neatly bound behind me l
. perennial consolation and enter
ltnment to my family and as an heir.
'om which shall have a mournful but l
efinfte commercial value for my re- {
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