The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1902-11-14

- Oe aPolertics 10 q trade
that hain't worked at very much NV
late" said Uncle Bill. There was a
time when used ter git enthused over
a party's needs an greeds, but I've sort
Nv cooled off. A Teller what's goin' ter
waste much time in polertics needs a
different kind NV environment than we
git in the country an it's hard ter git
enthused much over votin' some other
Teller into temptations way. Wv
course, it sounds nice ter have Hon.
prefixed ter a %feller's name, but see how
them fellers in st. Louis come out. A
few years ago when the papers would
say anything about EN- they'd always
start off with The Hon, so an so made
a short trip ter such a place. an now
It's the "Dishonorable so an so was
sentenced ter five years in the peniten-
tiary.' SO yer can see that they didn't
have the proper science NV polertics ap-
piled ter 'em an NV course they fell"
What do you mean by the proper
science of politics." asked the editor.
Il mean gittin' inter the band wagon
without the visibal use NV a Doodle
s~ter-ladder."
You are too dense for me this morn
ing" said the editor in an inquisitive
tone.
The science NV polertics fixes a man
so he boobies himself. I'll admit that
It's a deep proposition ter see through.
how a man1l buy himself up ter vote
franchises away, but in a city what's
up ter snuff in polertics they never
have eny convictions on account NV
boodling, cause if a Teller is dom NV
it on his account he don't ever
know that he's buyin' NV himself"
asserted the old man, as he stroked
his w%hiskers, lurched back in his chair
so hard that his feet flew I'D in the air
and camc down on the editors desk
with a bang which made the editor
pie" his thoughts for a moment.
Pound your story into me the old
way, do not try to kick it in" re-
marked the editor with emphasis. at
may take me a while to grasp what you
are trying to get at. but I'll master the
situation presently"
at wouldn't he a bad idea to have
the spring stiffened up a bit in this
chair, or else have a pair of stirrups
put on so a Teller can ride it 'thout
bein' throw'd." remarked the old man.
IF you throw yourself, you will not
know it," facetiously remarked the
editor.
81 see that yer a novice in polertics,
or else it would be plain fur yer ter see
'thout all the eXplainin' it'll take" said
Uncle Bill with a wise look On his face,
which semed to denote that he had a
coup" on the political situation. as he
continued, "The real polertician is new
er known ter the public eye. He's the
man what bats the trap an then sets
back an laughs at the people vote fur
their own interest"
you have evidently got something
IN your sleeve on politics." said the
editor with much decision, 80 shake it
out and let us see what it is"
wall, when | was out in Kansas"
began the old man. 81 met a Teller from
Louisville. Kentucky, who was takin'
r trip for his health an he told me Just
how scientific a game polertics is. He
used ter be a hotel man in a small way:
had q hotel with a bar attached an
was quite popular with the young fell
Iers in his ward, so much so that fell
lers who thought they was polerticians
used ter come an spend a lot NV
money with him so'st ter git his infu-
ence. an it got so they had ter have it.
or they couldn't carry the ward, an
finally two or three NV the rich fellers
what was interested in railways, got
ter comm in Gas they said) jest be-
cause he kept good liquor, an they
got purity friendly with Charlie Chat
vas his name). so one day in m
n Nv the richest NV 'em-he was a
millionaire-an' he had a good drink
NV Charles liquor out NV the bottle
what had the gilt on the label, an after
talkin' awhile he said, Charlie, why
don't yer git a larger placer an Char
lie blushed an owned up that he
couldn't afford ter buy one, as his capt.
tai was limited. Nv course he would
like a bigger place an all that sort,
but he had ter he satisfied with his
small place, An at that the Teller said,
Eyer can buy the hotel down on the
corner. Charlie. as it's fur sale. an I
think it's a mighty good chance That
made a frog com up in Charles
throat, cause he had big ideas an a
small bank account, an then the rich
Teller. who was called Doe said,
Charlie, if yer want ter buy that place
I'll help yer.r'cause I like yer.' An ter
make a long story short, Charlie
bought the place an enlarged his bust
ness. an he commenced ter make
money mlSnty IaSI, an one q DOC
said. Charlie. WHY don't yer ruin fur
alderman yourself? Instead Nv always
helpin' someone else into office, help
yourself. 1t will add ter yer populari-
tv an increase yer business here So
Charlie became an alderman,
81 begin to see into the game" said
the editor, at this point in Uncle Bits
story, as he handed him. a cigar with
the remark, Light up and proceed"
"Now. yer think that Doc bodied
him. don't. yer? said Uncle Bill, an
swering his W question by saying,
"Wall. he didn't do nothin' NV the
kind, but he helped him make money,
used ter go an ask Charles advice
bout polertics an sich like, an then
he found a man what would buy the
hotel from him at a price that made
him several thousand dollars profit. an
| Charlie sold cause as he told Doc" he
was willin' ter take the advice Nv so
good a financier as he was every time.
An so he bought another piece NV
TL~- 49, I~., ln@ 80