davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

old KeSldenter VINO owned a
~ Section of Improved Land and
~ some Town Property besides
was getting too Feeble to go
out and roast the Hired Hands
so he turned the Job over to his Son.
This Son was named Joel. He was
Foolish. the same as a Fox. Anyone
who got ahead Of Joel had to leave a
4:3O Call and start on Lope. When
it came to Skin Games, he was the
original High-Binder.
Joel took the Old Gentleman aside
one Day and said to him, Father, you
are not long for this World, and to
save Lawyer Fees and avoid a tie-up
in the Probate Court, I think you
ought to cut up your Estate your own
self, and then you viii know it is done
Right"
"How had better divide it?" asked
the Old Gentleman.
You can put the whole Shooting
Match in my Name" suggested Joel.
THAT will save a lot of Writing. Then
If any other Relatives need anything
they cab come to me and try to Bor-
row it."
Joel sent for a cut-rate Shyster, who
brought bundle of Papers tied with
DAdA0 eA1lu dSSU1C0 ll6 OlQ Gcll-
tleman that the Proceeding was a Mere
Formally. When a Legal Wolf wants
to work the Do-Do on a Soft Thing he
always springs that Gag about a Mere
Formality
Joel and the Shell-Worker moved the
Old Gentleman up to a Table in the
Front Room and put a Cushion under
him and slipped a Pen into his Hand
and showed him where to Sign.
After he got through filling the Blank
Spaces with his John Hancock he
didn't have a Window to hoist or a
Fence to lean on. He was simply
spOnging on Joel.
This went on for about a Month and
then Joel began to Fret.
81 don't think 1 am getting a Square
Deal" said Joel. Here is an Ancient
Party without any Assets who lives
with me Week in and Week out and
doesn't pay any Board. He is getting
too Old and Wobbly to do Odd Jobs
around the Place, and 1t looks to me
like an awful Imposition"
So he went to the Old Gentleman
and said: Father, I know the Chill
dren must annoy you a good deal;
they make so much Noise when they
play House. Sometimes we want to use
the Plano after 1t Is your Bedtime
so have been thinking that you would
be a lot better of in some Institution
where they make a Speciality of look
ing after Has-Beens. have discovered
a nice, quiet Place. You will live in a
large Brick Building with a lovely
Cupola on top. There is a very pretty
Lawn with Flower Beds and also an
ornamental Iron Fence, so that the
Dogs cannot break in and bite you.
You will be given a nice Suit OF
Clothes, the same as all the others are
wearing, and If you oversleep yourself
in the Morning, a Man. will come
around and call YOU
TN other Words, send me to the
Poor-House," said the Old Residenter.
You need not call 1t that unless you
want to- said Joel IF you choose,
you may speak of it as the Home for
Aged Persons who get Foolish with
their Fountain Pens"
So Joel put his Father into the
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
New York Press.

New York Press
You borrow trouble; you buy experience.
Mothers are seldom foolishly fond; often they
are fondly foolish.
No vine can Irvine around a. crooked limb
and be straight itself.
Let tomorrow take care Of itself and the
devil will take care Of you.
The seed OF evil that is sown must be reaped,
but not always by him who plants it.
BY keeping ones mouth shut IT is as easy
to appear. wise it is to be fool by
talking.
In everything but humanity there has been
modern Improvements since the time of Adam
and Eve.
Success is more or less bluff. and the rea-
son so few men succeed is that they mostly
all get called.
After a girl is engaged 10 man she makes
up for all the times she couldn't tell him she
loved him before he asked her
Ask a girl If she likes another man and she
will try TO make you think she does If she
doesn't ask her IL she likes you and she'll try
to make you think she doesn't If she does.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
Sam Jones Mnfesof Gubemat0rial Candidates

nay their proportion of taxes. He de-
clared that he would make war I'M
ceasing upon saloons and the liquor
traffic. He said he was tired Of legis-
lation by Hobbies. and
Lives there a man with a soul so dead
Who never to himself has said,
These Hobbies, Oh these Hobbies,
When will these Hobbies die"
I really don't know what Candidate
Estilrs platform is. If ever ! read It
it made so little impression on me that
/ have forgotten all about 1t. l ike
Guerry's platform. Candidate Terrell's
platform seems all right. but 1 am by
his platform like the two Irish tramps
who stood at gate and looked in at
a house where peace and plenty seem
ed to reign and they wanted TO go in.
but there was a mastiff dog standing
in the yard. Nike says Pat, you
see the dog is wagging his tail friend
ly. let's 20 in "Ah,'' but says Pat.
''He is growling too, and don't know
which he is going to do. come at us
with his friendly end or his growing
end. and I am not going in"
Mr. Terrell has got a nice platform.
and he is a nice man, but the incest
looking horse and the gentlest looking
horse I ever had ran away with me
the WOTEL. mere WISH a AAAAAA6 @CA~
of nv buggy. and for the time being
there didn't seem to be anything left
of my wife's husband. He seems gen.
tie. gentlemen, but am sorter dubious
of him. Query backs his ears and
looks like he will kick, but, gentle
men, he is not going to kick anything
that ought not to be kicked, and not
going to bite anything that ought not
to be bit, and am in favor of kicking
and biting both when the kicking and
biting is done in the right direction.
I am glad, however, that politics in
Atlanta will no longer be Influenced
by street railroads. 1t is a glad day
for Atlanta when the consolidation Is
complete and street railways go out OF
politics in Atlanta.
The fight wakes hotter and hotter in
Rome Seab seems to have thrown.
down his gun and stick and pistol and
come down to a regular stand-up-and-
knock-down fight with the whole bus
mess.
Go il, SeabI Living, you are war
rior, and dead you will be a hero.
Yours truly, SAM P. JONES.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Chicago News

Long engagements have no earthly charm for
a young widow.
A fool is to be pitied, but hypocrite deserves
a swift kick.
The warmth of a woman's love is only ex-
ceeded by that of her temper.
Usually when man starts on the downward
road the brake refuses to work.
straight ticket doesn't necessarily indicate
that all the candidates are straight
The nearer a girl approaches the age or
self-possession.
1t is a difficult matter to convince some
married men that there are two sides to every
question.
It makes woman angry If she is unable TO
interest a man and II he is interested she loses
interest in him. q
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
PRACTICAL PROTEST PERTAIN
ING TO POETRY.

Friend. we'd no damage DO
Your verse or even you
We've just a word or two
We'd like to say.
BIodestly we'd advise
That you let I'D on the skies.
And on the stars likewise;
They're far away.
Be OF the earth a part,
Let I'D on "Cupid's Dart.
Deal with a fellows heart;
That's what We need.
Touching the line Of verse.
Each day the need grows worse,
For something simple, terse;
That's what we'd read.
Give US a verse or two
That will. when we are blue,
Build up our hopes anew,
Give US a fresh start,
Make US forget our aches.
Our pains. our past mistakes.
This Is the verse that makes
Happy the heart.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

are now exactly what they were before
the Dingley law was enacted. That act
neither bestows nor takes away any pow
er of either the president or the senate
But there may be question as to whether
the power to enter into any treaties
which invade the constitutional prerog-
atives of the house exists at all.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
OPINIONS OF OTHERS.
Good Policy In Fairness.

Boston Globe.
1T ought not to be a difficult proposition to
prove that a policy of moderation in making
money demands upon China will prove pay
ing" policy. Leave out of consideration any
question of abstract fairness and justice, all
thought to the impressions which the ope-
rations of policy of grab all you can may
produce upon the Chinese people, nothing could
be a greater mistake than to permit that null
titudinous people 10 gain the impression that
all foreigners are really foreign devils in what
ever profession they may indulge.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
Don't Talk About Your Aches,

AS soon as possible dismiss from tine mind
every suggestion that has TO do with nlness.
II you have had operation, and il IS over.
let IT glide into the shadowy back ground OF
memory. Do not dwell upon IL, do not talk
about It, Cultivate thought about others,
about the great round world, about its heroes
and its martyrs, its battles and its victories.
its happy homes and loving hearts, but utterly
turn from the night side Of suffering except
as you may relieve IL. and dwell in the blessed
sunshineN There is no sweeter thing on earth
than to be one Of Gods Ight-bringers. and to
make those about you stronger because you ere
complaining.-February Ladies' Home Jour
nal.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
Their Need Inspires Friendship.
Dallas News.

OdlldS NEWS
England is looking appealingly this way.
She is short on beef. From this some idea can
be gained as to the reason why European ma
lions are anxious to be on friendly terms with
US. 1t may not be our guns which make them
this way but no one can deny the pacific In
fiuence of the meat and bread which we have
for sale and which the European nations must
have.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
Lac i've .Are IrreconcIIabIe.

Unaha WOFId-IeraIu.
The Republican policy in the Philippine
islands cannot live while the declaration of in
dependence lives. The republican policy in the
Philippine islands cannot survive If the declar-
alton survives The only plea whereby the
Philippine policy may be justified is the plea
that the declaration Of Independence was a
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

II r. reliably reported that a brilliant
genius proposes 20 import a lot Of mon
keys 20 try the experiment Of having
them pick cotton In the south. This al
least, ought 20 make "Cuffy' a little less
independent in future
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Mrs. Shaw has announced that she does
not intend 20 try TO reform Washington
society. We thought the lady would think
better OF tackling that Job after she had
seen Washington society.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
Cuba Has No Reason for Hope.


The sugar interests seem to have congress in
their hands and the indications are that In
spite of strenuous pressure from the white
house Cuba will get 1t in the region OF her
neckwear. It is about all she could expect from
a party that seems to think more of its own
selfish interests than 1t does of the nations
obligations.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

II Il e. true that President Kruger has
addressed q note 10 President Roosevelt
on the subject OF Intervention. we very
much fear that Dom Paul viii also soon
be among the reprimanded.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

And now General Chaffee says the Phil
ippine war viii be ended in three months.
This Is certainly a little more conservative
than those statements that the war was
over about a year ago.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Chattanooga Il to present Prince Henry
with book OF local views The Chatta-
Ho0gans are evidently determined that
their royal visitor shall see the town,
whether he wants to or not.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
Sauce for Goose and Camden.

Harper's Weekly.
If Mr. Roosevelt should be reelected or some
other citizen should be chosen our next presi-
dent will it not be fit for England to send a
special embassy, with complete outfit of ad-
miras and generals, to represent her at the
Inauguration? If not, why not?
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Why does the Southern Railway pretend
20 be hesitating ABOUT accepting that de-
pot proposition when one word from II
would have killed the bin before Il got
out Of the committee room?
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Candidate Query says it would have
"been easier" for him to have done things
to Candidate Terrell If he had accepted
his invitation to engage in joint debate.
This will probably confirm the latter in
the opinion that he made no mistake in
declining
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

On an Athens street car a straw vote"
was taken the other day, and 1t developed
that one passenger was for Terrell, ore
for Estill, one for Jim Smith and two for
Query. This at least gives an insight
into the size OF the street car business IN
Athens
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

The editor OF the Augusta Herald writes
q column editorial under the heading, "If
We Were Miliionaires." A man with an
Imagination Ike that ought to write a
historical novel
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Now that the man who stole the Gains
borough picture has confessed and re-
pented. Il Is barely possible that the per-
petrator OF the Gainsborough hat may
yet become conscience stricken.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
John chlnaman's offending.

Indianapolis Journal.
President Gompers is right; the basic ground
of opposition to Chinese immigration is that
they live too cheaply. Living on 10 cents day,
all the rest of the Chinamans earnings is
boarded to be sent out Of the country
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Calves California protege Is now refer
red 70 as the little southern huniming
bird" But she viii not be able TO draw
Sl-oo0 a night until she grows TO be a
snightengale."
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Governor Taft says he spends every
cent OF his $1,000 salary. We have always
noticed that the man who spends every
cent Of his salary. no matter how much IL
Is. always seems 10 feel that he Is under-
PAID.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
A Doubtful Compliment.


Cleveland Leader.
Can the admission of the emperor OF China
that the sovereigns of Europe are his equals De
regarded as a compliment? The dispatches say
that he is nothing but weak and spirttless
automaton and is worked by the empress
dowager standing behind the throne.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

The Brooklyn physician who offered
himself as a candidate as a subject for
viv1section has managed to get more ad-
vertising for the money than any man
living.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

II Colonel Query Is sincere. and we be-
lieve he Is. his candidacy viii. at least
give us an opportunity TO Judge Of the
efficacy OF q wireless gubernatorial cam
paign.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

A Detroit banker who defrauded his
hank OF $780, 600 was placed under a So
GO bond. II one Of hts clerks had stolen
$50 the bond would have been at least
500
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Detroit has furnished another case OF
hank directors who don't direct.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Saving wood is said to be a sure cure
for obesity. II there is anything in it's
theory. Candidate Terrell is liable 10 be-
come a living skeleton before long.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Texas Populists have decided to put
out a full state ticket. Which shows
that there are stiIl few people In Texas
who are not in the oil well business.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

It begins TO look like the gubernatorfal
campaign viii also have 10 walt until at
ter Lent.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Governor Taft says the Filipino women
are much better than the men. In one
respect. then. the FiIipinOs are very much
Ike the balance OF humanity.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

New York Democrats are 10 have a dol
lar harmony dinner" The Ohio DemOc-
racy ought TO try a little popular-price
reconciliation Of this sort
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Uncle Andy Carnegie says his success
Is due to the fact that ne surrounded
himself with men who were cleverer than
he. This sounds Ike rank sarcasm.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

We expect 20 hear Candidate Query
insinuate sooner or later that Candidate
Terrell opened his campaign with a cork
screw.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

With these continued revisions OF creeds
n man can get into the church now. on
more ADVANTAGEOUS terms than formerly.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

It looks like we viii have to despair Of
being able to arouse any interest in the
gubernatorial race until the barbecue sea
son opens.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

II we should adopt Minister Wu's sug-
Eestion OF having women jurors to try
women. the attorney for the prosecution
would have an easy time OF IL.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Il has been discovered that every law
enacted by the last Wyoming legislature
r. invalid. But It Is not every state that
plays IN such luck.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

And now somebody has advanced the
theory that Shylock was not a Jew. We
have seen a good many OF them who were
not.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

we should think It would wear-out the
Hon. Ben Tillman sooner or later to
have TO reload his vocabulary every morn
ing
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Chicago bsrtenders are agitaring for
Sunday closing. They certainly have the
law on their side.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

The United States. very properly. is not
disposed 20 play any favorites as between
the nations OF Europe. We sell all Of them
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

It's a mean hen that won't lay at the
present price OF eggs
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Governor Taft thinks we should send
American mules 10 the Philippines What!
IS this II be a war OF extermination2
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Chinese women viii quit binding their
feet ana begin lacing their waists.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

4 western paper claims 70 have discov-
cred the frozen shadow OF a grounding
the other day.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
The Semi Weekly Journal
Entered az TIE Atlanta Postotnes a. Mall
Matter % the Second Clare.

ne serui-weekly Journal T. publish
q On Mondays and Thursdays eno
mailed IN time for all the tWice-a-
week star route malls. IL contains the
newa from all parts o. The we're
hrought ever a special leased wire lnto
Ths Journal ONCE. II has q stan OF
dfstfuruished Contributors. with strong
ArrfcuIturai Veterinary, Juveniies
Hone. Book and other departments OF
srecisl value 20 the home and farm
Arerts wanted in every community
IN the South.
Remittsnces may be made By post
offca money order, express money or
Der. REGISTERED letter or check
Persons who send postage stamps IN
uayment for subscriptions are request
a 10 send those % the Scent denorni-
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postofnce order. express order. check
or reTistsred mail
Subscribers who wish their payers
chanrpd should give both the old ana
Ire new postofice address.
NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC.-Ine
only travelling Representatives OF The
Journal are G. J. OFarrel J. a
Rrvan and Jas. Galway. Any other
who represents himself a. connected
VITA ne Journal as q travelling agent
4 fraud. ana we win Be responslole
onfy for money paid 70 TIE anoNe
nAmsd representative
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

Senator TiIIman seems inclined 20 re-
gard Governor Taft as a witness for the
defense.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

MONDAY. FEBRUARY II. lsO2
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17
The ManeuVerS of Joel and the
Disappointed Orphan Asylum
RY GEO. ABE.

Copyright 1902, by Robert Howard Russen)
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-02-17

n old Residenter who owned a
Section of Improved Land and
some Town Property besides
was getting too Feeble to go
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-04-04
Canned Horse Meat


The horse-pickling works at Linn
ton will probably resume operations by
the middle Of next month. This state
ment, in face Of the fact that Oregon
cayuse ponies are meeting a better de-
mand now than for many years, seems
odd, but it is true-and there is good
reason for it.
While 10000 or more COW ponies
have gone from the ranges of eastern
Oregon this year to supply the needs
Of the British armies in South Africa
and thousands are yet to go, and the
price paid has been very satisfactory
to the producer, the fact remains that
great numbers of scrub ponies are left
on the ranges-ornery, u%nbroken, in
tractable. useless little brutes, consum-
ing feed that ought to go to the fat
tening Of meat cattle. The British
army will take smaller animals than
will find a ready market elsewhere,
but they must be sound and we'll bro
ken to ride. Thousands of the cayuses
will not meet these specifications Not
only will they not bring S85 each from
the British. but they are not wanted
at any price-by the British or any
body else. They are either not sound
Of wind and limb, or are u%ntamable,
or both. They are a drug on the mar
ket. They belong to anybody who
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-04-04
WHEN A MAN FALLS DOWN.
How the Average Human Being Acts
After a Tumble.

How the Average Hum1n Being Acts
After a Tumble
Slippery sidewalks tend to bring out
emphatically one Of the peculiar sides
Of human nature. No matter how
much the fall Injuries a man physically
1t seems as nothing to the damage to
his self-esteem IL perchance his mis-
fortune happens to be witnessed by
some one else, The first thing the un-
fortunate does after picking himself
up is to look all about him with an
idlotic smile on his face, just as II he
took the whole thing as a joke, but
anxious to see Il any n has seen his
tumble.
II there happens to be some one near
by who has witnessed the fall the smile
vanishes and there is a display Of tenn
FER that is luS,crous, It is his hat
that suffers. II Is pounded Instead Of
brushed, az II that hat was responsible
for the humiliation, or as II he could
get square with the hat by a rough
house" sort Of brushing. Il, however,
no one is in sight, and no face is seen
at a window, the unfortunate goes his
way after a few preliminary limps, as
If the thing was a matter-of-course in
cident, that must be taken good ma
turedly in common with the other trif-
ling affairs of a lifetime. The result
is about the same when a soft, slushy
SNOWFALL, hurled by a mischievous boy,
finds its mark on the broad back Of an
otherwise dignifed person.