davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30
A LAWYERS STORY.
Thc Scheme Which Was Hatched In a
Barrister's Fertile Brain.

"They tell good many tales on
lawyers, and some of them are lit
tie rough" said prominent mem
Der of the bar, 'Ebut about the worst
story I have heard for some time
was told to me by a man who said
he knew all the parties concerned
and was willing to swear to ev-
cry word Of it. The cashier of a
bank had gone wrong to- the extent
OF about 100000. He. had been
specializing with one hand and pee
ulating the banks funds with the
other, and in a short while he had
reached the limit. He knew it would
be matter of a short while before
the bank discovered the shortage.
'He went to a lawyer friend and
made a clean breast of the whole
business. The lawyer asked him if
he had any of the 100000. He
never had a cent of this amount.
Then the legal mind began to work
out a plan. old fellow the law
yer finally said, with aggravating
GOODNESS, you're in a box, but I
think we can pull out of this thing
all right if you will follow my in
structions. You haven't got cent
No, not a penny said the man.
You could pay 100000 as easily
as you could pay 100000, couldn't
you" Yes said the man, not un-
derstanding the drift of the law
yer's talk.
WELL said the barrister, you
go back to the bank and just make
your obligation 100000 by taking
100000, and we'll be able to settle
this thing without lawsuit. Aft
er you get the money make clean
breast Of the whole business to the
bank. Tell them you have been
gambling rather desperately, and it
has put you in the hole to the ex-
tent of 100000. Tell them, how
ever, that you have conferred with
some friends who have agreed to
help you to the extent of 100000
and that you are willing to refund
this amount. The remaining $780,
900 we will divide between our
selves. We can make arrangement
for you to get out Of the bank grad
ually, so your reputation will not be
injured, for we'll hold the whip han
die, you know, and the whip handle
is somewhat in the law
GA few days after that the cash
Ter could be seen in the bank quiet
ly but industriously breaking in a
new man. The directors looked a
little gloomy, but they felt that
they had played in pretty good luck
to get back even one-fourth Of the
amount which had been pilfered.
Anyhow the case was settled on this
basis, and that was the end Of it,
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30
Went With the Majority.

A well known surgeon, according
to the Melbourne Punch, was i'm
parting some clinical instruction to
half a dozen students who accom-
panied him in his rounds. Pausing
at the bedside of a doubtful case, he
said, "Now, gentlemen, do you think
this is or is not a case for opera
ton ?" One by one the students
made their diagnoses, and all of
them answered in the negative.
"Well, gentlemen, you are all
wrong" said the wielder of the free
and flashing scalpel, "and I shall
operate tomorrow" 'No, you won't, "
exclaimed the patient as he rose in
his bed. "Six to one, is good mas
jority. Gimme my clothes!"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30
Volcanoes Queer Freak.

During the recent volcanic erup-
ton at Martinique strange phe-
nomenon was noticed at certain min
eral springs near Prague. The wa
ter turned brown and then red, re-
tanning this latter color for a full
hour.
Scientists are unable to account
for this sudden change in the water,
but those who reside near the
springs are certain that it was
caused by the volcano and do not
fail to point out that a similar phe-
nomenon was observed in 1855 on
the day when there was a terrible
earthquake in Lisbon.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30
The Ready Retort.

The house Of commons was once
debating the civil list, the appropri-
ations for the king and royal fam
lily, when Lord Evelyn Stuart, who
was an officer of the guards as well
as a member of the house, came in
wearing a long mustache. At that
time mustaches were worn only by
soldiers and very seldom even by
them. ''My lord" said one of the
ministers to Lord Evelyn, "now that
war is over, don't you think you had
better put your mustache on the
peace establishments" 81 don't
know whether 1 shall do that" said
Lord Evelyn. 'But meanwhile l
would advise you to put your tongue
on the civil list"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30
AS to Scotch Jokes,

In Scotland there would still ap-
pear to be some ground for Sydney
Smiths taunt that the Scotchman
is wanting in appreciation of hu-
NOR. The editor of a certain reli-
gious journal announced to his read
ers that as the paper s'has been re-
ceived with SO much favor. and has
so considerable a circulation it will
in future be published once month
instead Of once a week., It is pos
.siblesM course. that thes sMtegamag
be wag.-Exchange.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30
The Craze, mirror Madness"

Mirrors, according to the design
ers of modern buildings, are becom-
ing ubiquitous. They are impor-
tuned to find room for them in YES
tibules, stairways, pillars and even
floors and roofs. Cars and elevators
are no longer considered complete
without them, and any little unoccu-
pied bit of space is supposed to be
suitable for their insertion. 'sMir-
TOT madness" is the name given this
new craze, and there are many spec
ulations as to its probable effect on
the personal appearance of the gen.
Grafton afflicted with it.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30

AS an Advertising Medium can offer more advan-
tages to the Advertising people of Washburn and
Vicinity than any other Newspaper in BAYFIELD,
County. Liven up your business with little print
ers Ink. There is Fortunes made everv day in the
use OF Printers Ink The opportunity is open to
all parties.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-10-30

is Modern in Every Detail. If you are in need of
any Stationery such Letter Heads, Bill Heads,
Memorandum Heads, Statements Circulars, of
Dodgers or Posters, call on THE TIMES and get
their prices and you will find that you save
money and get the best of work
20
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

the Interstate Commerce Commission
has been begging for years, to give it
adequate powers to compel railroads
to make equal rates. If the commits
sion had that power and exercised it,,
the ability of the beef trust to con-
troll markets would be largely cur
tailed. ,a@
If the Roosevelt administration were
really determined to make an end OF
trust extortion, it would so after the
trusts in every way. Court proceed
ings are we'll enough in their way, but
the laws delay" means that it will be
a long time before any decision of any
kind will be obtained. and it may be
against the government. 1t is vastly
more rational, If the administration
and its party are in earnest. to use the
unquestionable power of the govern
ment against the pirates.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
The OLedient Child.

There was once little girl who
found it very hard to wash her hands
just before dinner. She meant to be
clean for the table, but there was so
many things to think of that it was
impossible to remember. Her mother
reproved her very severely one day,
and she promised to do better. That
day at dinner her mother asked the
usual question, Have you washed
your hands, dear?"
Yes" came the satisfied reply.
Her mother looked smilingly down at
the little ones hands, and then she ut
tered an exclamation, for there was
no sign that soap or water had been
used on them. why. your hands are
black" she said. Didn't you say you
washed them :''
well. just did. mamma. but was
afraid ia forget. so washed them
right after breakfast. New York
Press.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
New Bill. For old Ones.

Not every one Is aware of just what
Ahe United States subtreasury will. do
for person with soiled currency. II
any one has such bills, in no matter
how small quantity. and wishes to get
brand new bills, all he has to do Is to
20 down TO the subtreasury and hand
the old currency over the counter. The
government will hand him in return
new bills of any desired denomination.
Perhaps under a strict Interpretation
of the law the government clerk might
refuse certain bills on the plea that
they were still fit for circulation, but
in practice the government Is inclined
TO be very obliging, and, unless the sup
ply of clean money on hand should
happen to be temporarily short, the
clerk will without hesitation hand over
perfectly new and unfolded bills in re-
turn for money which has been folded
possibly only very few times.
AS a matter of fact vast amount
of money is turned in which could not
have circulated among more than half
a dozen hands But 1t Is all redeemed
and the new currency issued in ex-
change. The subtreasury supplies the
new cash, too, without any expense,
no matter IL millions are to be ex-
changed York Times.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
D,dn't Fear His Dead Patients.

There is doctor of the old school in
one of the New England villages near
Randolph, Mass whose house is sur
rounded by cemetery. The cemetery
Is behind the house and comes up flush
with the road on either side, running
off to east and west for an eighth of a
mile. Some people might find such a
house lot doleful, and surely the neigh
bors are not lively. But that thought
never troubled the villagers so much as
the prospect of going home at night.
In the country towns of New England
the graveyard at night is still thing
of terror, an inherited terror. There
are still towns where all the graves are
dug on n line running due east and
west, with the footstones toward the
east so that the dead may rise face to
face with the Judge on the last day. So
the doctor is often asked the question,
care you not afraid to go home some
times at night?"
And his answer Is always the same:
"No. My neighbors will never trouble
me. They all owe me money."-New
York Tribune.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
HOW TO FIGHT THE MEAT TRUST

1t is an excellent thing to proceed
against the beef trust under existing
laws, but that does not excuse the ad-
ministration and Congress for not
striking this trust, and others equally
obnoxious, at points where they are
favored by existing laws. 1t is an
abusrdity to protest hostility to the
beef trust and at the same time retain
the duties on live animals, hides and
dressed meats by which the beef trust
profits, and by which 1t is enabled to
maintain Its monopoly.
Moreover, it Is an absurdity to pro-
test hostility to the beef trust, which
confessedly has been able to control
markets by rebates on freight from
railroad companies, and at the same
time refuse to pass the bill for which
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
TRAINING A RIDING HORSE:
The Master Made Good His AsseR-
ti0n as to What He Could Do.

The Master Made Good His A@sGR~
tion as 80 What He Could DO.
Eyes" said the riding master, 81
have to be a horse trainer as well as
riding master. In fact, couldn't very
first | always have horses in my
school stables here that are sent to me
to train for my pupils. One came this
morning. and If you have the time 70
spare will show you how give the
first lesson in obedience"
The master then ordered one Of his
men to bring the horse out into the
school," a great oblong space. COW
cred with sawdust and inclosed and
rooted. The horse was a fine, spirited
animal. with an intelligent and kindly
eye. and the master said at once that
he would be tractable and teachable
subject, explaining that he had not
yet had a chance to make his ac-
Quaintance."
NOW" said he, "you must remem-
Der that this horse has never seen me
before and that am. therefore, per-
feet stranger to him, and yet think
can establish between him and myself
so good feeling that in five minutes
time he will follow me all about the
school at a word Of command-perhaps
without a command. Let us see."
He then approached the horse. and
the man stepped away. Speaking
few words gently. he patted the ami
Isa nA hap
his head. Telling the man to give him
small riding whip. long and straight,
with keen lash, he placed himself
with his right shoulder close to the
horses head. holding the bride rein
near the bit with his right hand and In
his left hand the whip extended back
horizontally so that the lash was oppo-
site to the horses flank.
Now" said he. "for our lesson" !"
And he began leading the horse around
the school, keeping his shoulder close
to the animals head. Presently he
took his hand Off the bride, and the
horse at once began to move away
from his shoulder but sharp turn Of
the masters wrist brought the lash of
the whip against his flank just hard
enough to make little sting, and at
the same time the master caught hold
of the bride and gently pulled the re-
fractory head close to his shoulder
again.
This was repeated half a dozen
times, ana then the horse evidently
reasoned out the situation somewhat
in this way:
"As long as l keep my head close to
this mans shoulder it's all right. but
the minute | take 1t away something
back there jumps up and sticks me.
Therefore I'll not take 1t away any
more"
That must have been the way he
reasoned, for within the five minutes
time allotted by the riding master the
horse was following him all around the
school like big dog, nor did the mas
ter have to touch the bride once
Atlanta Constitution.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
che Sun
BALTIMORE, ND.
THE PAPER OF THE PEOPLE,
FOR THE PEOPLE and
WITH THE PEOPLE.
HONEST In MOTIVE
FEARLESS IN EXPRESSION
SOUND IN PRINCIPLE

While maintaining unimpaired the
high standards of private life and pub
lie policy which it has upheld un-
falteringly for more than sixty-four
years, The sun Is also In the front
rank of mo0ern journalism In every
factor which enters into the produc-
ton of a great newspaper.
Its mechanical equipment IL COM
plete and up-to-date In every respect,
and Its facilities and arrangements for
the prompt correction OF news unsur-
passed.
Its special correspondents through
out the United States. as well as In
Europe, China, South Africa, the
Philippines, Porto klco. Cuba ana In
every other part of the world supple
ment the efforts of the general
agencies by which 1t Is also servs4,
SO that 1t Is enabled to print all the
news every day In the week.
It's Washington and New York bu-
reaus are among the best in the United
States, and give The Suns readers the
earliest information upon all import
ant events In the legislative and
financial centers of the country.
The Suns market reports and com.
mercial columns are complete and re-
liable, and put the farmer. the mer-
chant and the broker In touch wll1 the
markets OF Baltimore, Nc FOX.
Charleston, New York, Chicago. Phil
adelphia and all other countries.
The Sun is IT, best type Of a news
paper, morally and Intellectually. It
Is an educator VI the highest char
acter, constantly stimulating to noble
ideals in individual and national life,
and 1t gives all the news all the time.
The Sun is published on Sunday, as
well as every ether day of the week.
By mail The Daily Sun, So a year:
including The Sunday Sun, 81. The
Sunday Sun alone $1.00 a year. The
Weekly Sun, $1.00 year.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
Indian English.

An intelligent sepoy one day came to
a telegraph Office in India and handed
In message to send to a station in
central India. Having read the mes
sage, the operator said there was some
thing wrong. mo, sahib; me knows
English" he said. Again an attempt
was made to explain to him that it
was wrongly worded. 'Me knows
English" he declared haughtily and
Indignantly. IF you no send. me re-
port Superintendent Mandalay." Thus
threatened. the message was forward
ed. Come quick; father dangerously
dead"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
PIN ples.

with pimples on the face, which are un-
slightly at best, and especially annoying
when they come, as they often do. on
the nose. OF course they arise from
some impurity of the blood and need
constitutional treatment. but until t..is
is obtained safe and easy way of pre-
venting them Is TO apply arnica to the
skin. A pimple never comes without
warning. A few hours before there is
always slight infamma ton or swell
Ing and If drop Of arnica be applied
to the spot when the swelling begins
half dozen applications in the course
of a day will drive the pimpe back un-
der the skin.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
LIKE A DROWNING MAN.

Five years ago dyspepsia took such
hold OF me that 4 could scarcely co.
writes George S. Marsh, Of Nocona,
Texas. Il took quantities of medi-
cine but nothing helped me. AS a
drowning man grabs at a straw |
grabbed at Kodol. Dieting Is un-
necessary. After a few bottles am
sound and we'll" Kodol digests any
good food and cures any form OF stom-
ach trouble. s. D. Bell G. Son.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
One Way 10 Cut RrnRa.

lowing method meets with great sue
cess: Make a strong solution of bichlo-
ride Of mercury in alcohol. With a
quill pen draw line across the brass
where it is to be cut. Let it dry on. and
with the same pen draw over this line
with nitric acid. The brass may then
be broken across like glass cut with a
diamond
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
DANGEROUS IF NEGLEC led.

Burns, cuts and other wounds often
become troublesome sores. Even
where delay mas aggravated such In
juries, DeWitts Witch Hazel Salve
effects a cure. II had a running sore
on my leg thirty years. says H. G.
Hartly, Yankeetown, Ind. After u.s.
ing many remedies. tried DeWitts
Witch Hazel Salye. A few boxes
healed the sore." Cures all skin dis
ceases. Piles yield to 1t at once. Be-
ware of counterfeits. s. d. Bell &
Son.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
.BAl2f1hH5onr fh5 Wrrrlr Sun
The Best Family Newspaper.

ALL THE News OF THE WORLD
IN ATTRACTIVE FORM; AN AGRI-
CULTURAL DEPARTMENT SECOND
TO NONE IN ',dE COUNTRY: MAR
KET REPORTS WHICH ARE REC
OGNIZED AUTHORITY: SHORT
STORIES. COMPLETE IN EAC4a
NUMBER; AN INTERESTING WO-
MANS COLUMN, AND A vARIhJ
AND ATTRACTIVE DEPARTMENT
OF HOUSEHOLD INTEREST.
One Dollar year. Inducements to
getters-up OF clubs for The Weekly
Sun. Both The Daily and Weekly Sun
mailed free OF postage in the United
States, Canada and Mexico. Payments
Invariably in advance. Address.
A. s. ABELL COMPANY.
Publishers and Proprietors.
Baltimore, Md.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
WHAT DOES 1T COST?

The profound secrecy maintained py
,he administration regarding expend-
itures in the Philippines can not Iaii
tn leave an impression, not only Oh
Compress but on the people, that
there is something wrong-somethihe
that would suffer under the exposure
nj light and scrutiny. Congress mas
several times asked for, but so iar mas
Z NOT been able to obtain, any satlslac-
tory statement of our expenditures III
.ha pbilippine enterprise. Senator
Culberson, of Texas, has introduced
two resolutions. that were passed oy
the Senate. asking for detailed IN
formation. but so far there has peeh
no satisfactory response from the e&-
ecutive department.
No account since November l, 1882
two years and half ago, has Deeh
youchsafed. and even that is tncom-
nlete We know that between May i,
1898 and November /, 1899, the sum
of s5547s, ,6s5 was expended by the
War and Navy departments combined
hut since that time, although the cost
of our establishment and our military
operations has steadily Increased, not
a word of enlightenment has reacheu
Congress or the country. we kno"
therefore, that the Philippines cost U.s.
including the $20, 900 900 paid to Spain,
nearly, II not quite, 500, 10000 up 10
the LIST of November, 1899. And that
notwithstanding the earnest and per-
sistent effort of Congress to obtain
further information, is all the admin
istration has revealed.
This is a remarka1te state OF anairs'
That Congress, which has to provide
the money. should be denied all ex-
pianatior aA to the manner OF its dis-
pensation seems inexplicable upon any
theory involving proper respect for
the lawmaking branch on the part OF
the executive branch of the govern
ment. 1t is very easy to believe that
the administration has urgent reason
for concealment, or else that the spirit
of Imperialism has made the executive
contemptuous Of Congress and its con-
stitutional prerogatives.
1t is the plain duty of Congress to
make no further appropriations OF the
peoples money until full and intel
ligent account is rendered by the ad-
ministration, of the expenditures in the
Philippines up to date. Congress
holds the purse strings, and should not
loose them again until a comprehen-
sive response comes from the execu-
tive regarding the manner and amount
of past expenditures.
The Democratic minority in both
branches of Congress should emphatic
ally refuse to vote another dollar of
public money for expenditure in the
Philippines until full information is
rendered as to the cost of the enter
prise up to ths time.
Naturally this would make clash
between coordinate branches OF the
government that would cause alarming
assumptions on every hand. At the
same time 1t can hardly be expected
that Congress will submit indefinitely
to total exclusion from the councils of
the nation. 1t has been hinted with
more or less frequency that there are
some dark and appalling myst :ries
connected with our political and COM
mercial expansion in the far Pacific.
Even II this should prove to be true,
Congress certainly has a right to ask
for their exposition, and in default Of
satisfactory reply, to decline all fur
tker participation in the proceedings
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
Gold Pena.

The first gold pens made in this coun-
try were all manufactured by hand,
the gold being cut from strips of the
metal by scissors and every subsequent
operation being performed by hand.
These handmade gold pens cost from
So to $50 and were far inferior to the
machine made article of the present
day.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
Breaking On.

Eyes," said the ingenious girl hero
ically, 'T have decided to break with
Horace for good and ALL"
why. then, are you sending him
your picture?"
"Well, | am sure that Is the least
can do. He refused TO take back his
gifts, and | wanted to make some re-
turn, so am sending him my photo
grnph."-New York Press.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12
Carvln AZ.

A genteel carver always sits when he
carves. says work on etiquette. Per.
haps he does, but it is pretty certain
that there are times when he yearnful
ly yearns to put one foot on the table
and the other on the bird while strug-
Cling with the fowl-London Answers
The Tucson citizen., 1902-05-12

The times that it turned out that a
man was right he remembers n great
deal longer than those when he was
wrong. .-AtchiSon Globe.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-01-31

AZTEC POsT no. IS, q. A. H.-Meeig 81
~ can of Post Commander, Aztec New
Norico. VI H. WILLIAMS. Post Comnuan.
aor %. w. MCCOY, Adiutant.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-01-31
DIRECTORY

DAN JUAN COUNTY CATHOLIC MISSION
- mafhoiic population 1901 Headquarters
BRO tam santa Rosa Church, BlaucO Z, .
Fefular services, hrst and second SUNDAY OF
Month. maHH at o o. ms acIuun SUNDAY
fe1ooi tor chfldfen. immediately after mass.
AZ 3 b. m., rosary congregational singing
Bible history, prayers monthly services helu 9
tfmee ddrine year, Aztec, Ia Plata, Farming
tou aud OHIO are visited BY the priest n
6hnrrt Hosa precinct. BIO Arrlba Coz > N,
fcntholfe population IiO a. attended from
sania Roaa church. Any communication. on
bhnrch affairs on religious subjects should %
hddressea 10 Catholic Pfieat, hlHnoo 70 g.
New MEXICO"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-01-31

One bay stallion colt. no brand, aged two
years the 25th Of next March. Shows good
blood and is a half-brother Of Silver Dick.
Shows a little white on left hind foot, next to
the hoof. The undersigned will pay $40 reward
for return Of animal or to any one taking up
the animal and sending me notice Of same,
A. NJ. HUBBARD,
Aztec, New Mexico.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-01-31

stockowners or other parties in the county
who are intending driving cattle out Of the
territory, are requested to nonify me at Aztec
in advance to date Of removal, SO that this
stock may be inspected. Those driving out
without Inspection are subject to prosecution.
+. R. STEWART, Inspector