davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
A Dreadful Imputation.

Yes, maam, a strickly moril par
rot, ma'am. This is the VERY bird for
you, ma am
Hes carefully brought up is he,
dealer?'
livery carefully, ma'am. He's
regular inherent, he is. But you must
be very watchful, ma'am.''
"Watchful of what?"
"Of the kind O. language you uses
before the bird, ma'am. They do pick
up cuss words so easy!"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
just tho Place to Live In.

just tho Place to Live In.
Gracious! You don't means to say
you are going. to move out to. Bog
ville?''
Indeed, am. I consider it an Ideal
place."
Huh! You ought to read the pa
'pers. There's more sickness there thar
in any town in this vicinity"
Il know it. I'm a physician"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Actor Ito editor)-See here In this
article you say that l am about to
start on starving tour when
distinctly told your reporter that it
was to be starring tour
Editor-Well, you see, he was en-
actor himself before he went into this
business, and naturally he knows how
it really works."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
T,ga!.-, ; - ~ 2 = = = fz.N -
E Tho Light That Failed

f 4, ~ Tho Light That Failed.
They sat on the couch. He gased @.
her with love. beaming from his eyea
while her orbs flashed back an efu1-
gence that ,rivaled the electric light.
You are-you are" he breathed
rather alta loss for words Of affection.
you are the light OF my life.' -. :..-5
She gave him look Of alarm, and
then whispered softly in his ear:
rake care my father does not put you
OUT"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Russia has backed down from a
number of its claims as to Manchuria,
but it was careful to make so many
that it could concede over half and
still save all it wanted.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

San Francisco has one saloon for
every twenty-five adult members of
Its population. They must have to
work overtime to keep some of the
saloons going there.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Twenty miles an hour is the limit
OF speed for automobiles on country
roads in New York. The Astors and
Vanderbilts cmplain that this is get
ting back to the days of the stage
coach.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Bread Made Of Pos F.lonr

:. Something new in the way Of food
product rs pea -four, with which the; \
War Department s as recently been
making experi nts.s IS viii - placed j.
On the market before long Ut i nod a.
sratsS price. and seems likely ID come
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Mo- Freehearted.

II seen the devil once" said Brother
Dickey.
And how did he look? % some one
asked
'Oh, he looked purity much lax a
white man in 'leckshun times, only ne
heartfelt"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

but the law is not enforced. A pouch
or sheath for knife and a. revolver
is part of the national costume, and
they are worn openly. When two
Greeks quarrel the first act is to draw
their knives, and unless they are sep
,arated instantly there is either
homicide or case for the hospital,
and the hospitals of Athens, which
are extensive and up-to-date, are
abundantly supplied with patients, es-
pecially during periods of political
excitement. If MAJ is killed in
controversy it usually begins feud
which does not end until several
graves are filled.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Mr.. Wanamaker may have been
rather ELUSIVE with the kaiser, but
the story that he worked off a pack
of his business cards on him is prob
ably canard.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Russia's announcement that she
means to get out of Manchuria is as
good in it's way as England's fami-
liar pleasantly about evacuating
Egypt
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

The scarcity Of steep1e climbers is
delaying work on the new Chicago
postoftice, and this fact has led to the
discovery that there are only four
teen human flies" in the Unttad
States. Here appears to be a promis-
ing opening for young men who have
lofty ambitions. -.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

On advance statistics from all parts
of the country the esteemed New York
Sun bases the prediction that there
will be great revival in bicycling
this season. Well! Well! Well!
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Not tho Question.

II can get along without you," said
the employer, CURLY, to the clerk
whom he had discharged.
THAT is not the question, SIR" re-
piled the clerk, tartly. "The question
is whether can get along without
you"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

King Leopold butted through the
socialist mob by letting his automo-
bile go ahead at full speed. No
crowned head should venture forth
without his automobile after this.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Her Suspicion.

els your husband suffering from
the toothache?"
WELL" answered the woman, with
tired expression, che says he's suf-
fering. But from the way he keeps
Dragging about it I'm half suspicious
that he's kind of enjoying it."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
The BASIS OF Prosperity,

when the farmer is prosperous,
everybody is prosperous" said the man,
who INDUCES in dogmatic utterances.
That's right" answered Farmer
Corntossel. when the farmers have
money, the gold brick operators, and
side-show proprietors, and lightning
rod people, and everybody begins to
look for good times"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Bishop Fowler says there is NO life
SO conducive to laziness as the minis
try. Still, most of the ministers seem
to overcome the tired feeling suff1-
GENTLY to write books between times
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

The Chicago professor who is
threatening to abolish death is a
promising candidate for a place in the
same class with: i the distinguished
young scientist who has so frequently
orophesied perpetual motion.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Handbook men are said to visit the
Chicago Jail to take bets on the races
from the prisoners. This ought to be
stopped. The lawyers need the money.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Cecil Rhodes must have smiled in
his sleeve occasionally when he
thought of the good things that would
be said of him after he was dead.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

A Kentuckian shot at a man and
crippled blooded colt the other day
This will be sure to start another last
ing feud if the owner of the colt is
Kentuckian.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Reward Seekers,

Some people," said Uncle Eben.
"is SO dreful business-like dat while
dey looks fob reward in de mex
worl' dey's mighty skeery fob fear
dey'll do any mo- dan what's neces>
sary to earn it." &::. ~"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Kind Lady-What are you crying
about, little boy?
Little Boy-My little bruther has tn
measles an can't go to school,
Kind Lady-Ah, see-you are
afraid you'll catch 'em?
Little Boy-No, I'm afraid + won't.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

America may not be "a fit place for
a gentleman to live in," but that
doesn't necessitate Mr.. Astor's. living
elsewhere.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Miss Nelson is one of the most
beautiful girls in society. She is 20
years old and made her debut year
ago. Long before that, however, the
devotion of young Reggie" Wander
b11t to her was the subject of gossip
in Newport and New York. Of late
Mr. Vanderbilt has made frequent
trips from Yale to take Miss Nelson
out driving and escort her to social
functions.
Miss Nelson is tall and graceful,
with fine figure, beautifully mod
eled, expressive face, wealth of
light brown hair, and dazzling COM
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
His Soulful Eve.

His Soulful Eye.
What soulful eyes you have!" she
said to the innocent youth.
Have II" he smilingly asked.
YES" she murmured in her gush-
ing way. ESPECIALLY the left one. /
could look into it's liquid depths for
hours"
Il might leave it with you over Sun.
day." said the youth. Its glass;"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
A Domestic Mystery.

Mr.. Understanding queer about
Biffkins. He has never once men
toned his WIFE,
Mrs. Binks-Perhaps he isn't mar
ried.
Mr.. Binks-Oh, yes, he is. He wears
out three pairs Of shoes a tmonth try
ing to save car fare.-New York
Weekly.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

An artificial method has been discov-
cred of giving age to whisky. Now let
somebody find out way of giving it
sze
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Easy Choice.

(Which do you PREFER" asked the
friend, classical music or classical
plays?"
classical music. every time," an
swered Mr.. Cumrox. "lnere is always
noise enough in that to keep you
awake"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

John D. Rockefeller, Jr., boasts that
he began making money at six years
of age. His wagon is still hitched to
the same star.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

When William Tillman and Mc1.au-
rim meet they glare fercely at each
other and pass on. In this matter
they assert their personal courage
without sacrificing their senatorial
dignity.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

The announcement that Mr.. Steel
King Schwab has "gone into copper"
is somewhat puzzling. The reading
world had previously supposed that
being swathed in purple and gold he
would be content with what he v,oro
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Philosaroas tically Speaking.

Little Elmer (who has an lnquiring
mand)-Papa, where do these pessi-
mists that we are always reading
about. live?
Prof. Broadhead-On an island OF
egotism, in the midst Of sea OF woe.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

That Wisconsin woman who wants
$4,000 for three kisses has put the
price SO high that the demand is
bound to fall off alarmingly.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Too Late.

Too Late.
The waiter pushed the finger bowl
toward Uncle Cyrus, who was dining
at the Waldorf-Astoria.
mo, thankee," said Uncle Cyrus,
with some heat. "Yew didn't BRING
thet when fust sat down an it's too
late nOW''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
No Words Missing.

Dear mel" exclaimed Mrs. Dropin,
as she heard Mr.. Sputter swearing in:
the next room. What dreadful Ian
guage!"
II hope you won't mind it, replied
Mrs. Sputter; my husband is merely
giving an imitation of missing WORD
contest without any words missing"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

A clothing clerk defeated a man
with the title of major" in the race
for mayor of Hartford, Conn. Has
Hartford, too. become tired of the
heroes?
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

A woman's head is to adorn one Of
the new issues Of postage stamps. It
is to be presumed that this will exert
good influence on the mails.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Cromwell was more of disturber
than most persons give him credit for
Twenty five novels have been written
around his career.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
What Grleved Job.

Job had a great deal Of patience"
explained the S. S. teacher.
Eyes, broke in little Bobbie, 'but he
wudn't Of cared for that il he hadn't
If had so menny boils."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

The first man to make success of
the curved ball is dead, but the high
BALI inventor is still at the bat.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
E :; with Petrole. :,

\ U E1.1sxperIn10nts VIII f0ITO1odu0s "a TN
Experiments with petroleum for fue,
are being made In N the Norwegian
navy. OF the refined oil imported an
nually into Norway $96s. 900 worth
comes from America and S9s. 300 from
Russia. II s5 q 55
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
on His Hlrh Horse

Merchandise you're looking for =
position? -, i, =, y. J. e. ~ y.
Young College Graduate No. II I've
wasted SO much time looking for
position" that I'll be satisfied to takV
a job. r. 4 st&&s4.f.s,.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

The peach crop has just been killed
for the fourth time this spring. The
cat is only a few deaths ahead now.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Fi'ial Affection,

Casey-Fifty dollars O'Brien spint
tryin' to git his mother-in-law out av
purgatory.
Daly-Fifty dollars?
Casey-Th' same! He siz he wants
to git her out before he goes in, if it
kin be done!-Puck.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Cinnamon have broken out in
new place and are rapidly acquiring
the South American habit.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

A Western insanity expert has gone
insane himself Is it to be wondered
at? -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Dlslnfoctant ON: thu Side.

!" Disinfectant on the Side.
"Blufenheim Is giving away a lot
Of presents with that new cigar he
ls just putting on the market" -.
Zone, OF them ought to be can OF
aisinfectant.''' as;5 /. .E# * Mr.,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
His PFoRranm,
Rather sudden. isn't it?"

eyes; she is to marry Mr.. Money
hunter"
Rather sudden, isn't it,"
why, l suppose he's willing to
marry in haste and spend her money
at leisure. PUCK. :
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
Conc1usivseE vlde,ne,>,I, =.

Mrs. Nebb-Why do you think 111s.
De Peyster is mentally unbalanced?'' &
; Mrs. Keeptab Well, she permits her
husband to sit on her sofa plllows.-
Ohio State Journal. s.s5yki. s =i= n s..=<
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
In tho Cannpaign.

Il believe said the candidate, ..that
he state wants me- ' g }3sS., / \ I21...
,s Perhaps, " replied his friend. but
she voters may refuse e horor a.requi-
3ktion. = 3: Il MIMI.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

We do not doubt that there are
women who smoke cigarettes, but are
they gentlewomen?
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

The more dollars you get together
the louder they talk Same with wo-
men.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07
The Reason.

Wise-A college education pays In.
the end.
Wrong-How so?
Wlse-Well, my SON has signed to
pitch for $4,000 next season.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1902-06-07

Il love to dress as my husband
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-08-27
POLITICAL RALLIES.

Fairfax, Aug. 26. A rousing Repub-
lican rally was held here this even
ing, the speakers being the Hon. u. S.
Stanton, Republican candidate for
lieutenant governor, and the Hon. f.
@. Partridge of Proctor.
Sodth Hero, Aug ga grand Re-
publican rally was held on The island
last evening, the chief speaker being
F. G.. Fleetwood of Morrisville, Re-
publican candidate for secretary of
State The Clement men have claimed
that they would have Grand Isle coun-
ty by a large majority but careful
canvass of most of the towns has
shown that this claim is pure bluff
and tha6 the county will give clear
Republican majority.
Underhill, Aug. 26. The Repblican
ally held here this evening was large
ly attended and enthusiastic one. The
speakers we're Hon. H. H. Powers of
Morrisville and r. E. Brown of Bur-
lington.
Burlington, Aug. 26.-The first Dem
ocratic rally of the campaign was held
last night at the opera house. There
was not a large attendance, the audi
torium being only abo1t half full, but
close attention was paid to the several
addresses and at times considerable
enthusiasm was manifested. The can
didates of the party, F. W. McGet-
trick, Hon. Elisha May of st. Johns
bury and others were the speakers.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-08-27
REPUBLICAN RALLY.

Woodbury., Aug. 25.-The Republican
rally held in this village Saturday even
ing fulfilled the antiCipations of the most
sanguine. 1t was a rally that brought
the Republicans closer together and
turned many who we're half hearted into
active workers.
The meeting was held in the town hall
which was filed to overAowing. When
the chairman, Charles II. DANA called
the meeting to order the hall was packed.
Every one Of the regular seats were full,
fifty or sixty chairs had been taken in,
and even then the back Of the hall was
filed with voters standing up and the
entry was full even to the doorway. On
the stage were the speakers, the Wood
bury Cornet band, Il. f. Drenan, candi-
date for Senator, Alton Benjamin, Candi-
date for Representative and other promi-
nent citizens.
Hon. I. S. Stanton OF Roxbury was
the first speaker, as he had to leave about
nine O'Clock to connect with his train for
home. Following him came the Hon
Fred a. Rowland Fred b. Thomas a d
John G. Wing of Montpelier, Every
speaker met with hearty greeting and
the enthusiastic applause which burst out
frequently showed the sentiment of the
listeners. For over two hours the crowd
was held ana when the last speaker had
finished the people seemed reluctant to
leave, while many crowded around the
speakers and candidates to thank them
and express their good will. The speak
ers were the guests of Il. f. Drenah be-
fore and after the meeting.
When compared with the Clement
rally of last Wednesday evening in the
same hall, the Saturday evening meeting
shows up favorably, for there were fully
four times as many present Saturday
evening as on Wednesday evening
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-08-27
PICNIC AND CLAM BAKE.

Il. &. Bowers scored another success
on Saturday afternoon, the occasion be-
ing the annual picnic and clam bake Civ
en- to the polishers and their bosses by
the X. c. Bowers Granite company.
About $50 were present and all thor
oughly enjoyed the occasion. Wider's
orchestra furnished music and the COM
pany was protected from the little showers
which occurred at intervals, by two large
tents. Dinner was served at about tn. ee
O'Clock and the menu prepared by Prof.
Joseph Wilson included clam chowder,
steamed clans, sweet corn, sweet potatoes
and steamed Holsters. The whole party
was seated at one time and spent about
an hour at the table.
AT the close of dinner, Mr. Bowers
presented each guest, as souvenirs of the
occasion, large pipe made from the nat
ural wood, package of tobacco and a
stick of ca-barendum in neat little
leather case, which can be conveniently
carried in tie pocket A smoke talk fol-
lowed and when the company broke up it
voted Mr.. Bowers the prince of hos
pitality and good fellowship.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-08-27
Business M ere M ention.

Fred A. Ainsworth, druggist, Williams
town. Vt continues to solicit and supply
trade at his old stand on Depot street
Do you want anything in his line, no
matter whatY He WA undertake to sup
ply it, and give you satisfaction as to
quality, quantity and price. Let no one
else Halter you that he can, or will, do
better by you i'm the drug line, till you
have proved it by visit at f A Aims
worths store.
HORSE POWER MEN, ATTEN-
TION Full set polished steel rods
for any power. Send lengths. Price
ST. Williamstown Machine Shop.
STOCK AND FARM FOR SALE
Farm containing 100 acres suitably divid-
ed into pasture, tillage and wood land.
stock consists of 6 young cows giving
milk, running water at house, short dis
tance from creamery. John l.. Shepard,
Topsham, Vt.
WANTED. To buy or rent a Sec
ond hand horse power with attach
ments for saving wood. Address
Charles French, Glaniteville, Vt.
WANTED. Bloc, wood body, II in
thoroughly seasoned I'qdire at Waite =
man Office.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-08-27
HE WAS DRUNK

The Rev. Sam Small cut sorfier
figure at BratGleboro on Monday even-
ing than he did i'll this city, in his at
tempt to bolster up the cause of
Clement. The Free Press today con-
tanned the following special from
Brattle eboro, which gives an account
of the Monday evening affair.
1.-THE most spectacular incident in
the political campaign up to the pres
ept time took place to light in the
Auditorium in this place in the pres
euce of |, 200 people when the Rev.
Sam Small, the Georgia evangelist,
attempted to speak in behalf of the
Clement high license local option fac
ton.
Small was the only speaker advertis-
ed for the rally and the crowd had
gathered only to hear his Arguments.
When Small was introduced by Col.
G. A. Miles Re staggered abodt the
stage and uttered few incoherent
remarks. The audience began to hoot
and yell and people filed out of the
hall RAPIDLY. Small continued his
rambling talk for three or four minu-
les when he was led from the stage
~ Col, Miles.
Jds5 what the matter with Small
was no one is able to STAGE definitely &;
bat that he was in a befuddled condi-
tion there is no doubt. The incident
has created no end of excitement and
was the talk about the street until
midnight The Free Press correspon-
dent attempted to interview Small a.
the Brooks House late in the evening
but he was still in dazed condition
and unable to talk. -
Was Small drunk is the question
which naturally arises, or was it the
effects of the cigarettes which he is
reported to have purchased in this city
about midnight on last Friday night
The Brattleboro people should have
insisted upon an autopsy being made
upon this erstwhile champion of tenn
perance. Since his appearance here,
several have been trying to decide
whether or not he was not drunk
when he was making his address in
Armory hall.
Later There is no need of an au.
topsy in Small's collapse" case. He
has confessed. His confession was
made to representatives OF the Asso.
ciated Press, Brattleboro Phoenix and
Brattleboro Reformer. This confes.
| sim was com mmunicated to the Journal
| by these representatives today. Mr..
Small told these gentlemen in sub
stance that he drank too much on
Monday aud was drunk when he col
lapsed. He said he had no excuse tC
i make and had no one to blame but
| himself.
It's the old story of Old Dog Tray -
He wandered from his southern home
in Georgia and mixed with bad com
pany in Vermont. The collapse wa
the result.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-08-27
You May Be Warm
Enough Now, But How Will
II Be About Christmas

Look over your furnace or let
us do it for you and see if CRATES,
smoke pipe and other vital parts
are in order
Remember orders received
now can be given prompt and
careful at ention
Don't wait with the great ma
jorlty who find trouble after first
frost and shiver until the furnace
man can repair or renew the
heating outfit.