davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
Trials of n New Husband

He was very new husband, and he
was boasting with ill-concealed pride
of a piece of good fortune that had
befallen his bride. Oddly enough. she
didu't seem to share his enthusiasm
but eyed him nervously. Finally, when
he paused for sheer want Of breath.
she called him to an adjoining room
on pretense of troublesome gas let.
Once there she led him swiftly to the
table.
Rap on it," she commanded.
Rap on it," he repeated stupdly.
But why. dear? This is not a seance -
81 never said it was; rap on It.,
please, before our absence becomes
noticeable"
How often must rap?"
Three times" replied his wife.
So he gave three solemn raps, saying:
81 nope don't look as foolish as |
feel"
You would have felt foolish If, after
all your Boosting, my good luck depart
ed, wouldn't you" she asked. That's
why made you rap on wood Always.
after one brags, he must rap on wood
or he will acquire hoodoo Now come
back to the parlor.".
AS the husband sat down he asked
himself softly if he was mistaken in
supposng this to be the twentieth cen
tury.-New York Evening Star.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

dealers killed 24,621 human beings in
India last year, and that despite the
fact that rewards were paid for the
death of 1OS,OOO reptiles. Snakes, prin-
cipally cObras, account for a full &c.
600 of Asia's yearly death roll. Africa,
the home of the vipers and hideous
puff adder, adds 6,0O0 to this list.
South America comes next. The
bush master, and many swamp snakes,
besides the giant anaconda, claim
their share of lives. Not less than
$500 South Americans die yearly from
snake bites. while rattlesnake, mocas-
sin, and fer de lance account for an
other 1900 in the northern half of the
continent Add further 1000 for
the great Polynesian Islands, Austria
liza and Europe, the total yearly loss
of life by snakes amounts to 47,OOO.
Wild beasts and snakes between them
killed 5,4TO,OO0 persons during the
nineteenth century.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
DEPENDS ON PLACE OF BIRTH
Just Because You Have Seen Snow Ya
May Not Know Everything.

Just Because You Have Seen Snow Yn
May Not Know Everything.
When the young man from FlOha|
came to live in New York he woke vi
one morning last winter and, going VI
the window, he looked out on what VB
TO him a novel scene. Ii was a snOE'
storm, the first he had ever seen
Jumping into his clothes, he ran lnip|
the street. He stopped and galhefal
handfuls of snow and threw them =
the air; he jumped into drift and sN
1t flying with his feet; he finally NJ
down and rolled IN it-all this nHI
shouting and laughing at the top 0ln|
voice.
One of the crowd which had galDa
ed to watch his antics went up wv
and told him how his mother ueo Y
cure fits and volunteered to try AH
him.
II haven't any fit," the young OIL
said.
whats the matter with you lns''
"Why, don't you see the snow!
"Yes. see 1t. What OF II! ~
seen it before"
"Well, | haven't" said the f"''
young man.
what! You never saw SNOW
foreT asked the astonished ques'1,
Never. Seems strange to you w.
it?"
"It beats any sample OF VeruaD
ever ran across" q.
"Oh. | don't know" mused 'n' "a
ida cracker, according to the NJ"
Mail and Express. did you e,' n
an alligator eating a black oO!'
Well, you are not so many an"
have seen 1t many times
throwing a handful of snow Wv" 4,
shirt collar, he pursued his JoyOO'
bols,
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

" Ndller TOOlldll.
He is Missourian by birth, and comes
of family which has always been Or
iginal in its thinking. His father was
Free Thinker, and the rest of the
family all have socialistic ideas. In
his youth Walter was known as an agi-
tator. They called him The Boy An
archist." When Martin Irons started a
great railroad strike in 1885, Vrooman
Joined him as an organizer of Knights
of Labor lodges. Several times he was
arrested and at Parsons, Kan, he
started riot. Next he became a Con.
gregational preacher, and was pastor
of church in Kansas City. Kan. All
this was before he was 20.
His early teachings, his associations,
his experiences all directed his mind
along socialistic lines. He became
the chum of Edward Bellamy. Then
he went to England, and at Oxford es-
tablished Ruskin Hall. 1t has the sup
port of the federated labor unions, and
5000 students are taking advantage of
its university extension system. 1t
teaches communistic principles. 1t is
the basis of cooperative movement
in England and is working out Vroo-
mans ideas.
This, In brief, is a description of the
man who is just now one of the con-
spicuous figures of the West. He Is
not philanthropist, but believes that
his own interests, as we'll as those of
other people, are best served by a com
bination of effort and an equal dlvjs-
ion of financial results. He has mon
ey, and 1t is invested in the co-opera-
tive movement. He says that its in
vestment after this fashion gives him
more enjoyment than he could get in
squandering it in the usual excesses of
the rich.
Now, what is this man doing? AT
Trenton, Mo, he has founded Rnskin
College. 1t is school which has self.
help as its fundamental principle. 1t
gives a collegiate training, but exacts
from its students labor rather than tui.
tion fee. Every student works. Ad-
joining the college is farm of 2OOo
acres, on which he established q dairy
The farm was put under cultivation
and timber land was cleared. From
the trees cut down the students sawed
which was used in the erection
of factory and other buildings. Az
handles were manufactured. From,
some of the farm products canned
goods were turned out. This still con.
tinues. The students of Ruskin do all
the work. They are paid 10 cents an
hour for their labor, and most of them
are thus enabled to earn So per week
which covers their expenses for board
lodging and tuition. So well did Rms.
kin College succeed that vroomap
broadened his ideas.
The Western Cooperative Assocla.
ton was formed. 1t purchased a drv
goods store, stocks of drugs, hardware
notions and laundry in Trenton, Four
grocery stores were subsequently add.
ed. The raising Of chickens and tho
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
His Precaution.

Have you been done YETI" asked
the enthusiast for vaccination of the
first friend he met after the operation
had been performed on himself. NO"
said the friepd, with some energy. 60
ing to be of course?" proceeded the en-
thusiast aggressively. NO" said his
friend. Conscientious objector?''
sneered the enthusiast. No" said his
friend. Aren't you afraid of catching
smallpox" cried the other. mo" still
persisted his friend. The man was up
set; but he made one more remark.
Then you mean to say you've taken
no precautions against the epidemic %
he said finally. "Oh, yes" replied his
friend, walking away; 1--WE had small
poxw
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Irrigation will seemingly be a good
thing for the rivers as well as for the
arid country which is primarily in
view. Flood waters are always serl
Gus menace to the lands along the lower
stretches of great stream. and any di-
version of them into storage basins, no
matter how slight, is to be welcomed
The levees now built for the protection
of low country are not an unalloyed
blessing. They tend, it is believed. to
raise the level of the riverbed so that
In course of time both river and leyee
rise above the surrounding country.
The river of the future must be put un-
der harness so that it may be held
back at some seasons and hurried on at
others.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
FLOWERS FoR THE rEacS..
ho" the sehoolrooms Are Br,vh,.
by the Pupils. nensi

How the schoolrooms Ar. p
The janltor of a public soh..,
ing stood pointing to youn. ', OOld
just quitting the building w,,s "on'a
cornucopia' made out of pews,.I a'9'
in one hand. "Do you know vsSs spape'
teacher is carrying homer ho 70, -. 'a't
Il haven't the least idea ta asAed
shape replied the man who haS u u
ped for chat. "au Si0p
You'd be surprised if you saw a..
teacner IN this school, and in 0..al s,'
every other school in the cItv , usar'
In the afternoon with n bnrs,. ea'lAs
same kind" 'e Oi lbs
i would said the other I
pose 1t has something to do v,,, ~. ''p
work here" ""o Tier
NOT at an said the tanitor .rh.,
simply taking away the aova'e
school children brought tbem ,s'
morning. From about this tImo ,,a ~
year on to the close of the sos.,.0
VIII see this thing repeated e.cA =. ~
nut tnere,s more in this little fact ,A,,
you'd at first think. II you caro :. a
low 1t up you'll learn good deal .a.a.
the popularity of teachers with ' ,ss
pupils. 1t Is seldom that a teaoA.. %
not remembered at all by hor soh.,
II would be a pretty unpopular ,o,,A..
that didn't get at least nosepav NJ
big-hearted, generous little to,. -. A
hand the 'gruff old janltor' nrpttv W. y.
quet quite occasionally.
Everything In the way n, on, A..
ers and sometimes potted pl,n.
brought here every morning ADay
a teacher Is well liked she can, 49,
to carry home all the flowers cha
ceives. Some of the classrooms M.
like florists shops. There's hardl,
woman teacher who doesn't keon =,
or two vases on her desk, and ,h,,
are almost always filled I'D. II "a.
tainly brightens up the plain scb0ol
rooms with color. Roses vlOls,
daisies, carnations, peonies, sweet Ds,,
sometimes wild flowers gathered an,
trip to the fields and woods IN III.
northern part of the city-they are Al
favorites with the children.
ut would do anybody good" cont,
ued the janitor. according to the Nsy
York Times. ito watch the be,ml,,
face of a child who intends to surprs
her teacher with a gift. It's BIZ 4
sunshine for the clOudiest day. Th
love of most children for the love 4
their teacher shows itself plainly }
these floral gifts. which are frequenlr
In the nature Of peace offerings. WM
child has offended her teacher st.
generally takes the first step toward
n reconciliation By timidly presentIn,
little fistful of flowers the next day.
THE men teachers? Oh, yes ,hsf
pupils bring them flowers, too. BsebA
lor buttons? Yes. and roses, also.
ITS pretty example of school ehG
dren's thOughtfulness," he concluded
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

In recent article Prof. John Trow-
bridge declared that forty years ago
the physical scientists were trying to
were thinking of the large relations in
the universe, but now they are general
ly taking "the path of human inquiry
which leads into the world of the in
tinitely small" Instead of weighing
the earth and seeking TO fix the limits
of the universe they are now concern
ed with atoms, electrons. cells and bac-
ill. Whatever degree of success the
scientists may reach in their inveStiga-
tions of the infinitely small. the recent
convulsions in the Caribbean Sea nave
demonstrated that they have made a
sad mess of it with regard to the in
tinitely large. When Mount Pelee ut
tered its first unmistakable warnings
of trouble of some kind, some scient-
lists went through their calculations
and hypothesis and demonstrated that
there could be no trouble of any kind
The announcement was hardly made
before the volcano was dealing out
death and destruction on every hand.
Meanwhile none of these scientists has
taken the pains to explain why Mount
Pelee acted in the way it did when
they had given bonds for its good be-
havior. Some scientists are now busy
explaining the reasons for its convul-
sions. One charges the disaster to ;he
unusual stress upon the earth, because
upon the Sth of May the moon and sun
were at right angles TO the earth with
reference TO the sun and earth. A gov
ernment geologist has long known that
the silt of the Mississippi and the Ori-
nocO would cause this trouble by press
ing down too hard on the thin crust of
earth under the gulf. Then came the
plausible theory that there is a vast
mass of fire under that section into
which the waters of the gulf percolat-
ed and generated steam which caused
the explosion. Another geologist says
that volcanoes do not throw out lam-
ing gases. Either the reports that
Mount Pelee did throw out such gases
are untrue, or that, if true, it Is I'm.
wise TO speculate on the capabilities
of a volcano. Other scientists who
made no predictions and who are not
specially interested in it's causes are
laying out more or less startling pro.
grams for the future some involving
the disappearance of all the West In
dia Islands. In view of the results it
would be wiser for the scientists to
realize their limitations and be less
dogmatic in their assertions. Mount
Pelee and Mount Souffriere have DEM
onstrated that the wisest of them know
little or nothing of what is going on
down in the bowels of the earth, GER
tainly not enough for them to declare
what volcano, active or extinct, can
do on given day. 1t will be much
wiser for them to let the great things
alone
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

The Prussians are finding that the
work Of making good Germans of the
Poles involves many difficulties. A
number of children going home from
school were singing Polish songs. They
were arrested and tried in a police
court The prosecuting officer demand
ed that the children be imprisoned
rather than fined. The judge had tue
good sense to discharge them. The ex-
tirpation of patriotism, especially as
1t expresses itself in music, is an un.
promising undertaking.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Churches are commonly regarded as
the mothers of Sunday schools, but the
latest annual report of the Congrega-
tional Sunday School and Publishing
Society shows that the reverse Is often
the case. During the last year there
has been a greater movement of emf.
grants to the Northwest than at any
time since 1882. In the new settlements
thus formed the first permanent relig-
ious institution is usually Sunday
school, which, being supplied with
Bibles, Bible lessons and other reading
matter grows in time into a church
or one hundred and fourteen new
churches reported last year, forty-five
originated in this way.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

1t currently stated that commit
tee representing a church body has ex-
perienced difficulty in securing place
to hold the sessions of the association
under pledge that the delegates will
be entertained by the citizens. 1t
seems the average church member has
a disinclinatiOn to act as hostess to
the visiting ministry and delegates. In
these days of better salaries for minis
ters the church member who contrib.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
An Ingenious Excuse

General William T. sneriDD ,.0
fond of relating the foliowips 4,
"When | was with the arm. !" ni,,a,
gia, a slave-owner about Op ia |
time missed a fine fat turkey nd,
pected a good-looking mula''v' rA
dered, the man to be brousn .,s,
him i'You have stolen my w. Us. 1
eaten it, said the irate PAM. s.n
not gwine to say | dian | "" s.r,r
says | did. massa.' 'lought u y, - 4
flogged. What have you " ,,,a,i N ID
I should not punish your W" ,+lrpl
"a, you hain't lost anything ps ms
You see, you has a little ls'' AND
and a good deal more niger i,,arst
master was compelled to acAI la b
the philosophy of the slave an'
60 unwhipped."
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
RECENT JUDICIAL DECISIONS.

a recovery of commissions by real
estate agent from both parties is held
by the Supreme Court of North Caro-
lima in the case OF Lamb VS.. Baxter
90 S. +. Rep. 500 to be justified
where he informed them that he would
charge them both. and they both
agreed to pay him.
series of garnishments instituted
by a creditor to tie up the wages of a
laboring man until the expiration of
the time during which they are ex-
empt and then appropriate them is
held, in Rustad VS. Bishop (Minn.). 30
l.. r. A. 16S, to constitute a perverslon
of civil process which the courts can
not sanction.
testator may select his executor,
and unless the selection is made from
class of persons which by common
law or statute Is excluded from ap.
pointment. the Supreme Court of Err
rors of Connecticut, in the case of
Farmers Loan and Trust Company VS..
Smith (0l Att. Rep. 900. holds that
the Probate Court cannot reject the
person selected.
Where an employer undertakes to
convey an injured employe to his home.
and in so doing neglects to take the
proper precautiOn to cover and protect
MIN, In consequence of which EXPOS
ure complications ensue, causing his
death, the Supreme Court of Rhode
Island. in the case of Bresnahan VS..
Sonsdale (Co. 81 Att. Rep. 624), holds
that the employer is liable.
1t is not usurious to enter into an
agreement for the payment of usury
after the loan has been made or the
original debt contracted. 1t is absolute
ly necessary that the payment of usury
must be part of the agreement of the
loan itself There are variety of
ways by which professional money
lenders are enabled to avoid the stat
utes of a State against usurious prac-
tices of INSCRIPTIONS men (who. how
ever, are called smart shrewd busi-
ness men, by entering into contract
with the borrower by which the lender
indorses the negotiable Instrument. In
such case he becomes security on his
own note, although at the time the
money Is supposed to be merely nan
died by the lender. In other words. |
when you apply to the lender for a
loan, he very politely tells you that he
hasn't any of his own money to lend, !
but that he has client who is anxious
to loan certain amount, and that he |
Is willing to indorse the note provided |
you Will pay him, say fifty dollars, for J
his Endorsement, and at the same time
assures you that he knows where the
note can be cashed. If this is the real
then the bonus can never
be construed as usurious transaction,
although you may have your own idea
of the matter. In such case the lender
loans his name and credit for your con-
and the interest Oh the face
OF the note will never exceed the legal
rate In other words. he guarantees
your paper, and the law says that ne
may receive any consideration what
ever for his Endorsement. If, however.
you can show that it was his own
money that actually discounted the pa
per, then the contract would be usurl-
Dus. But the matter is so managed that
It would be a most difficult thing to
prove the subterfuge.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
Easily Interpreted.

Mrs. Hoon-I dreamed last night that
you had given me an automobile.
Mr. Hoon-H'm, yes! You had a
horseless Northumberland by the way,
my dear, dreams usually go by con-
traries. Smart Set.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
Unique Landscanes.

A nouveau richie recently attended a
picture sale. A friend who had no.
ticed him at the sale asked him after.
wards:
Did you pick up anything at that
picture sale, Hawkins?"
"Oh, yes-a couple of landscapesv'
was the reply. Zone of 'em was a
basket of fruit, and the other a storm
at sea-"
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

ern country. He
has set the mer-
camille captains to
thinking-in fact.
they are worrying
about the effect
which his schem-
ing and doing are
going to have on
hte various lines
Of business.
The fellow S
name Is Vrooman
WalNo-U U.AA-,an
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

do you play footballE' asked Presi-
dent Roosevelt in a recent letter to
hoy who had written to him for some
advice. IF so, here is a motto for
you: Don't foul, don't finch. Hit the
line hard " There will be no suits
for the establishment of proprietary
rights If others besides football-play-
ers adopt the motto.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

The Erie Railroad issued an order a
Few weeks ago that henceforth bridal
parties must refrain from throwing
rice. AS result the bridal parties
have been throwing pecks instead of
quarts and the road is sorry it spoke.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Some things do not need TO be said.
A famous pianist who played in this
country last winter and cleared a hun
dred and twenty-five thousand dollars
remarked as he sailed for home. "It is
with great sorrow that leave this
country, and | wish to come back as
soon as possible"
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
The Hawkshaw'

Towne-What profession oV
friend follow? ,s,su
Browne-That of the iigD'
gentry. ~,
Towne-You don't mean II,
Browne-Yes; he's a detec''''
adelphia Press.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

The Massachusetts Legislature has
voted a medal to every man who an
swered Lincoln's first call in 1861. Most
of those veterans have answered an-
other call and have gone to join that
grand army in the great beyond.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Many man has made the discovery
too late that he misjudged his enemy
especially after attempting to lick him
and getting beautifully licked himself.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Some of the people in those other
southern republics are probably sur
prised at the length Of time Cuba has
run along without revolution.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

A man has been sentenced TO six
months in Jail for stealing a bicycle.
y man who would stoop so low as to
steal a bicycle ought to get at least
six years.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

If the recording angel takes note of
the doings of nations, the United
States must have had large sum put
on the credit side of the ledger on
May 20.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Some people live in the vicinity of
slumbering volcanoes. Others thaw out
frozen dynamite and get there just the
same.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
Kindly Tact

.v anu you broke off the engagement ,n
ies-not brutally, you know bnt T
managed It," "Howp "I to,a
what my salary isp '0'u ner
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

"Jefferson's Bible" may be all right.
Until it is printed. however, the King
James version will be found very help
ful.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

After the honeymoon a woman never
looks entirely. satisfied with her hus-
band again except when he gets his
salary raised.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Books are desirable companions;
when they bore you it is an easy mat
ter to shut them up without giving of
Tense
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

As mans idea that he was cut out
for a great career decreases his use
tulness increases.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Our humOrists are going too fast.
We can better spare some of our phil
osophers-they are easier replaced
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

The trouble with mos, of the invent
Ors of airships is that they leave needy
families behind them.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

In addition 10 his other manly ac-
complishments the King of Spain is
now able to eat without a bib.
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28
STIRRING UP THE WEST.

One Mans Socia1istic Ideas Are Being
Put Into Effect.
A man of middle age. with not lit
tie ability and brain full of ideas, is
causing omething of a stir in the west
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

They tell of a young man WV
in twenty years ago to sweep 'so
office and study law, and WV
sweeping out. 4
Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-08-28

Flattery consists of having your Sc
cret opinion of yourself expressed in
the language of others.