Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-22
HE KNEW ALL ABOUT IT.
George Was Posted on Royal Family Affairs and Todd His Wife How
 Things Were Run.

George, dear, why is it that kings and queens can't be happy on their ehrones?''
 Why, theycan be, my love, whynot? They are not on their thrones but a trifing part of the time. anyway" said George, according to the Cleye- land Plain Dealer. "But I don't mean just when they are wearing their crowns. George. I don't suppose crowns are very pleas ant at the best. They are so dread fully heavy, and they can't be made over to fit every head. Kings must be awfully glad when it comes bedtime. But I don't mean any special period, George. I mean all the time"
 You don't think they are unhappy all the time, do you?"
 No, not all the time. of course. But unhappy by fits and starts-just like ordinary people"
 There you have stumbled on the reason, my dear. They simply are or dinary people when you get the gilt veneer scraped off. Just common hu- manity after all' "But don't like to think about it in that way, George. You remember how the poet says that there is a di- vinity that doth hedge king?"
 "Well, it's too bad, my love, that the hedge isn't high enough to hide the royal scraps"
 Don't be coarse, George. Royal scraps is dreadful
 Are dreadful, my love.' :
 "You know what I mean, dear. Oh, it's really too bad There is the czar of Russia. They say he is so provoked with the czarina because all the chil- dren are girls. And then there's the king of Belgium. Why, everybody seems to think he's just horrid-and he's so old, too. And the little king of Spain. Did you read how dreadfully he talked to his mother?"
 ''But I don't believe all read, my love. It would be quite too strong g. that little Alfonso seems to be pretty poor stuff for a wabbly throne. What else, my dear?" 4. ... .e.s'
 ''Why, that dreadful quarrel be- tween the king and queen of Servia." :" 'oh, but quarreling is such an old story with them, my love-" ~.>... But it seems just as horrid-and perhaps horrider.7 He stopped her pin money, George!" ~... ". "Yes, I saw the account
 'sAnd then he wanted her to let him take her savings bank book and draw out some of her savings. And she just said she wouldn't" f
 .sYes, I know, my dear. Do you think she did right?" ...y IT, "Of course do, George. How could any pin money" ..- 1 "But perhaps he wanted to pay the l grocer or the butcher" l Do kings pay grocers and butch ers?'' .., ---.~~
 Certainly. What do you suppose they do?" -.~~ ~ +..... .s .-s 'tWhy, T thought it was such an honor to serve the king with-with cabbages, and chops, and things, that 1 nobody would dream of asking money for it.. supposed it was all paid for by the royal permission to put the 1 sign on the shop with Butcher, by spe- cial permission, to the king on it.'' l
 "Well, you are quite wrong now, my love. The king will get his bill from the butcher every month. But you were talking about those Servia turtle l doves." 5ss> @6t *.Gss...Et4 .@se "E l Don't speak in that fippant way, l George. This is too serious. Why, he said such things to her that she final ly boxed his ears-boxed his royal ears, George!"@ @ss -@s--: l < Well, I don't suppose royal ears are any tougher than common ones. l guess she made them hum, all right
 "I'm afraid she did, George. Any way, they say that in trying to pro- tect himself he gave her such a blow I on the arm!'
 ssDear, dear! hope it wasn't the vaccinated arm.'' " >.'
 George, you are so silly. Don't you think such proceedings are shock ing?" ..-*~ ..s-.... :.~. z..>t .> < '.
 "Of course I do." -r=
 .'And what would you do about it ?''
 .sDo about it? Why, I'm not going to do. anything about it. Do you take me for the president of the Society I for the Prevention of Cruelty to Roy al Freaks?'"
 But how should they be pun ished? 2"
 '.Well, they should have the throne taken away from them to start with
 Would you really take the throne away from them dear?"
 I s'I'd pull it right out from under them.''
 'sYou -wouldn't do that?'
 "Yes. It would be Servian both oi them just right
 ] "Oh, George!"