Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-14
FLASHES OF A MIGHTY MIND
Aneodotal "reminiscences Of the Life Of
Thomas Bracket Reed.
SARCASM AND HUMoR cLEVERLY HANDLED
Thrusta Of His Mental Rapier at
Parties, Policies and Political
Opponents-Activities of an
Intellectual Giant.

The long and masterful career OF the late
Thomas B. Reed affords an abundance OF
anecdotes illustrating his activities in pub
lie and private life and the forceful brill
liancy Of an intellectual giant. Newspaper
biographers do not agree in chasing him as
o wit. but they are a unit in regarding him
as a master wielder Of tho most effective
OF pons-sarc The keenness of his
mental rapier and his readiness in welding
IL is shown in the following stories:
When the house voted on the Teller reso-
tuition Representative Hicks of Pennsyl-
vania was absent. The morning after,
while Speaker Reed was riding in a street
car toward the capitol, Mr.. Hicks stepped
aboard. Hicks. come here,' said the
speaker, and the Pennsylvania congressman
obeyed. Hicks" drawled the speaker, In
rebuking tone, as though he were a school
master, "you didn't come to school last
Monday afternoon. Have you brought an
excuse from your mother?" Mr.. Hicks re-
ply was lost in the laughter that followed
the speakers question.
A Louisiana member at the beginning of
one congress went to him and frankly said
that he would like to be placed on the COM
mittee on rivers and harbors. Mr.. Reed
looked at him very gravely, and finally, In
a low but thrilling tone of voice, asked:
How much Of a steal do you want?" The
reply was evidently not satisfactory, for
the members name did not appear among
the names on the committee.
Representative william Aston Chanler
met the ex-speaker one day In New York,
and said to him: "Mr. Reed, l have read
and heard a great deal about trusts during
this fight for the presidency, and have
seen various definitions of a trust. Now,
would like to know from you just what a
trust is" "a trust" said Mr.. Reed, rs
easily defined. 1t is a body of very rich
men entirely surrounded by water"
Calm Amid the TumuIt.
"old Howdy," as Mr.. Martin, en- uncouth
and picturesque Texan, was called because
Of his usual mode Of greeting his friends,
declared with sulphurous language that he
would never permit himself to be counted
In one Of Reeds quorums, and when an &C.
casion came he arose in his wrath and in
CURED whether the speaker had violated
that well-known determination Mr.. Reed
informed him that he had been included
with the rest, whereupon 'Old Howdy" lost
his temper entirely and started for the
chair, swinging his long arms in a most
violent manner and shouting the vengeance
that he intended to take when he reached
his victim. Twenty stalwart republicans
rushed toward the desk to protect Mr.. Reed
and quite as many Mortified democrats
sprang into the area to head off the ex-
cited Texan, fearing that in his fury he
would kill the speaker II he did not carve
up that massive corposity with a bowie
knife. Although his coat tails we're torn
off in the melee Martin managed to reach
the desk and, shaking his fist within an
inch Of the speakers nose, shouted tho
most offensive and insulting epithets.
Reed did not appear to notice that any
thing unusual was going on. The house
held fits breath and all they heard was
that familiar Yankee drawl:
"The gentleman from Texas will be kind
enough to take his seat"
Old Howdy'' was paralyzed. He could
not conceive that any man would submit
to the epithets that he had uttered with
out drawing a knife or a ~revolTer. Accord
ing to Texas etiquette he cSuld not shoot
or cut until his antagonist had produced
weapons. So he looked arouns in a be-
w%ildered, helpless, disappointed sort of a
way and complained to the friends who
were attempting to restrain him:
'The blankety blank blank won't fight"
'"The gentleman from Texas is out Of
order" drawled Reed again, land will take
his seat"
On one occasion news came that the
state OF Colorado was likely to be repre-
scented In part in the house by a woman.
An enterprising publisher saw in this cir
cumstance a topic for an article from Mr..
Reed and duly instructed his representative
in Washington to see the gentleman from
Maine and persuade him to agree to write
on the possibilities opened up by the en-
trance OF a woman in the lower house of
congress. Mr.. Reed was then recognized
as a possible candidate for the presidency,
and 1t was apprehended correctly by the
uuhIIahar'a commemorative that he Vyould he
reluctant to say anything about such q
matter. However, the errand was duly
performed, and Mr.. Reed. sitting ponder
ously In his seat on tho republican side
OF the chamber, was asked to let the Amer-
lean public know what he thought the
house would be like with any considerable
umber OF women representing oonstitu.
encies there. The big man turned gravely
on his visitor, continued arranging many
papers in his desk. seemed to be thinking
intensely on the proposal. and finally asked
IL the visitor had a telegraph frank,
To the Affirmative reply the Maine repre-,
sentative saidi Would you be kind enough
to psnd a message for me TO your prin,
eIPal9'
OF course, the answer was agreeable an,
the gentleman from the publishing housr
took out his pencil to write from M =
kpeA:s uictation.
tFfEhbt say Gdiu MT fetul just tulb
Excuse me- and get the telegraph operate
to send the last word in capitals"
That wGs rs near as any one ever 20
Reed TO delivering himself on woman
suffrage.
A spOuter siIeneed.
One OF Mr.. Reeds earliest encounters 1
the house was with Singleton of Mississippi
a redhot southern democrat, The bill unde
discussion was one to reduce the salary {
the United states minister to Great Brutal
from slT,5OO to SIS, 900 a year. Reed ha
urged that Il was hardly possible, even
the figures stood. for a poor man to take II
position,
"As 20 the idea that upon the salari,
here proposed poor men cannot AFFORD
hold government positions" answered Sir
gleton, II will say that l can furnish fro
my own state men OF the highest charact,
who would be glad to take any of these p
~sitions."
MI Chairman" replied Reed, 81 shOu
Judge, from the supply Of oflce seekers wi
have been ~crowding around our doorkeepe