The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-12-14

ing down about the ears OF the popuiace-
Worst OF all. the toys that were delivered
successfully srHo!isd - OF gasolene that
thsy made half the children sick before
morning came. and the chug-chGsgins OF
the machines up on the roof tops walked up
nearly everybody in their neishborhood
NO sir. You tell the readers OF The
Republic for me that were going 10 stick
TO first principles III. here. and that while
there's d reiuiee- left in the world We have
no use for automobiles in our business.
Possibly ia ten or fifteen years yoUIl
find the airship useful" l suggested
Possibly he said. and then they'll cali
me Santv DuEno:at instead OF Sanity Claus
-eh?' he added with & chuckle.
Don't yea pin your faith 10 the airShip,
young man.
We've been experimenting on that. too,
and 1t never works surely enough Tor Us.
Il sent one out last year along with the
automobiles. and it collapsed somewhere
over the Sahara, where there isn't = Kid OF
any kind 10 be pro .ided for.
What's the result?
Somewhere i'll that vast stretch OF sand
there are enough toys 70 stock 4 depart
ment store. and two tons Of mdrsamaiIows
wasting their sweetness on the desert air
No. sir. No airships in mine.
The reindeer and the sleigh are as much
a part Of Christmas as / am, and hereafter
We stand or fail together.
IF they abolish the reindeer FOR the au-
ttIllObs4t lHSS Il nave ~ iLOL>.' lI4% ott-LS
Will 'em and substitute 4 toy emporium
for yours truly"
Good. l calculated. There's no yisid-
ing to the icnnociastic spirit OF the age in
you. is there"
That's c new word to me-" said Santa
Claus. But
"fconoclastic signifies destructive l ex-
planned.
a good name for an automobile, ;he Red
Iconoclast. eh"'
Very good" I laughed Il suppose" I
continued. your business is increasing rap
id1y?"
Most active year we've ever had" said
he. hut it has brought its troubles with it.
made a bad mistake at the beginning
IF the year by manufacturing L lot of toy
walking deieSateS M at the shops
We thought they'd create a good deal OF
amusement among the youngsters III the
United States. ard We turned ouV a pretty
big batch OF them. ard, by lingo! the first
thing We knew they'd organized Il dozen
labor unions among the other toys and in
two weeks W. had a general toy strike on
our hands.
There wasn't a toy in the storeroom,
from the monkeys-on-the-s,ick to the
French dolls. that would work"
.'Nnr ~reaTlv,' T cried.
@It's a fact said Santa Claus. '.And Il
more preposterous lot of demands you never
heard.
..The United Brotherhood o: Plush Dogs
refused utterly to bark unless We gave
each one two extra sleigh bells to hang
around his neck.
THE monkeys-on-a-Stick. who have been
red from time immemorial. passed resClu-
lions declining TO jump unless they were
PAINTED blue and had two coats at that
They also demanded shorter sticks and
flexible tails
IT never heard of such a thing" I said.
amazed at the news.
.sNor anybody else" said Santa Claus.
"And you should have heard the talking
dolls,
After years of hard labor We had sue
ceeded in producing a doll that would say
Papa and Mamma IL you punched it in
the stomach. and it's the solemn truth that
when We investigated them to see il they
too were infected with the strike spirit
g, per cent of 'em wouldn't respond at all
and the balance shrieked out Down with
the operatcrs.' instead of making the usual
response"
What did they demand?' 7 asked. snil-
ing at the situation, in spite OF Santa
Claus's wrath.
'"They wanted to be slapped on the back
instead of prodded in the stomach: insisted
upon a four-hOur day and real hair instead
of tow" Santa Claus answered Indignantly.
II can't say 1 blamed them for preferrins
to be slapped on the back to the other
operations. hut the shorter hours and real
hair stumPed me.
We can't control the hours of labor
the toys have to go through after they
pected us TO get the real hair from 1 can't
imagine.
But the worst crowd of the lot was the
Federation OF Iron Wagon Drivers and the
United Order of Tin Soldiers. They are
pretty hard customers under any ci-cum-
stances and they objected to pretty much
everything they had to do.
The former relying upon their indie
structibility. took to smashing things, aud