New-York tribune., 1902-08-23
THE LIGHTNING LUNCH"

i5 rs sSar.s in A
Of fminute"-(DAily Paper
A Chicago man rattes ahead at pace
At which a mere Londoner @ teeis'
fc,D' for an n Ii h advised haste.
Has ha6I5 + PUSHING sb9 his Rfqls faseysh too
He 6 s down n 9ad at fSri Table Ka and muSch
In Chicago you know.
To 20 in for the Lightning Lunch.
There is nothing more chic
Than an up-to-date lightning Lunch!
Their the form M. of .c saRs1e ro tasy aS e0
They're enabled TO take
the shape of TahfT no aGs Sar: P with
-H'''T'f There Is nothing TO chew, or to crunch;
And sbsvTs lozensS anSioas GSmBIe!sS, foE Sweets
what's COMPRISED .ho II 70 tgstnns baast Lunch
In minute .et at n most; 9ss,,,ro lunch"
None the less let US hope that the plan will not
For' oP' whatever the Yankees may do.
We have not the least wish
To consume SOUP, SOUP and an tKa nsh
We should not be content with tS ta6,od m 10r
And firmly decline
Upon globules; TO o. dine: Inc, ,,,,c,
II Chicago reveSis s s,sa,s
Let her stick to her Lightning Lunch!''
Ihere ls Hot tiic iO"'t ~
wSere 9H 30 ones food in shis way is obtained.
Ne should much IN l,kf ,.Iern to knoT ,Su. gained
What Is i,a aoae aeept mi'h IN iae sordid attempt
Further dollars together TO bunch'
!Es,f5T WE GsR fnere!! 9n,y @sefSrsr ehoSrd score
At the cost the maltreated lunch;
And shall do all we can
The To Tut keep of the RedsT TehtnIng Gan Lunch'
-(London Truth.
- ~, r.,,. a., American long resident In
c,b,po IL visiting in Rochester. and talks enter
tafntnplv of the Chinese in "The Post-Express OF
that city ''In China. the art Of being gentleman
is sedulously cultivated" he says There is a
whole vocabulary of words that are Indispensable
70 tbe Celestial who wishes to pose AS polite
rarsop words in which whatever relates to self
"a depreciatory The polite Chinaman will refer
to his wifef driven to the extremity Of referring
to her at alias his dull thorn. or as his stink
ing woman. This trait OF Chinese etiquette is
.nt,v exnressed In one of their tales, in which
visitor is represented as calling In his best
clothes and seated in the reception room await
ing the arrival of his host. rat that had been
prving in a Jar of oil rafter above frightened
at the intrusion of the caller ran away. and In
so doing upset oil jar which fell the visitor
saturating his elegant robes with oil. Just the
face of the guest purple with rage. the host
entered. when the proper salutatiors were per-
formed after which. the guest proceeded to ex-
plain the situation: AS I entered your honorable
beam I inadvertently terrified your honorable rat,
which fed and upset your honorable oil jar upon
nv insignificant person. which is the of my
contemptible appearance in your honorable pres
ence.'"
Mrs. Guzzler (as Guzzler comes I'm unsteadiy at
3 a. m)-You have no excuse for coming home at
this hour and in this condition.
Guzze--I had one. my dear. and it dandy,
but 1 can't think what it was.-(Phadelphia
Record.
An order for eighteen thousand eight-horse
poughs to be used for breaking up the virgin soil
I'm South Africa has been received by the Faruuhar
Agricultural Works. York. Penn, says THE
Philadelphia Record" This is probably the Iarg-
est order sert out for this crop compelling
implement. 1t affords a most welcome proof OF
the new turn of affairs on the blood soaked vedts
where Briton and Boer were lately struggling for
mastery The American people will take much
greater pleasure in sending poughs to the Trans
vaal than in sending mules and munitions of war;
and will lose nothing by the substitution. The re-
sumption of mining operations will no doubt be
the signal for a renewal of large export orders
for machinery, tools and lumber to go along with
the ploughs and help to rebuild the prosperity
that existed before the land was given up to the
desolation of war
In answer to an advertisement for somebody to
take charge OF church choir and play the organ
of the advertiser: Sir. noticed your advertise
ment for an organist and music teacher. either
lady gentleman. Having been both for several
years, offer you my services."-(London Globe.