The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-10
INGENIOUS HIBERNIAN LIVING
UNDER DAYToN'S BLUFF
SOLVES 1T
HE AMAssEs MANY
eLlsTENINe NUGGETS
consummates Deal With a Son of
Italy, Whereby He Acquires Posses
sion of an Astute and NimbIe Mon
key, Who Keeps His New Master
Beautifully Supplied With Anthra-
cite.

AT last the coal problem has been
soiVed. NO longer must good, market
dpIe cerebral matter be wasted in mad
uenlng th1nk-riotS anent the poSsibil-
Tues OF acquiring a paltry ton or two
OF anthracite
AS this is not an advertisement it
would not be right and proper, from a
business standpoint, to mention the
name OF the originator of the system.
This much to his credit, however:
lie lives under Dayton's Bluff and he
Is an original, doubleback- action du-
pick Connemara Cuckoo. In other
words, he is the essence of Hibernian
ingenuity. From his kitchen window
ne enjoys a beautiful view, for which
many a hill millionaire would gladly
part with large chunks of pelf.
Sight Inspired Him.
AT any hour of the day he can gaze
out onto the Burlington tracks and see
whole train loads of real, black, glisten-
ing anthracite rumble up and down
the rails. The sight of such treasure
mas been the pleasure of many, but
IN no brain did it inspire the think
tank eruption which occurred within
the cranlal dome of Mr.. Aloysius Clanc
his name came pretty near getting
into print that time.
AT any rate, Al watched the coal go
by, and he laid awake nights hearing
IL go by, and three days ago he was
seized with that fortunate sensation
known to science as "hunch." Every
DAY there passed the works where AL
Is third assistant stage manager a
gentleman of the maccaroni persua-
sion, incumbered with a hand organ
and led by a sad-eyed simian who only
wore Tommy Atkins suit because he
had to-
Wednesday Al c. tagged the "son
of the sunny" and after half an hour
OF perfectly lovely Gallo dickering
the title to the monk changed hands.
Bright and early Thursday morning
in the cindered garden of one Aloysius
Cla-it nearly slipped again, there was
seen on tall pole the trembling figure
of Tommy Atkins monkey, waving
a British flag.
Monk Collects Nuggets.
This pole, it must be borne in mind,
was but forty-five feet from the tracks
of the Burlington railroad. A train of
coal cars passed. It's arrival was well
come to the monk. Anything that
moved or made noise looked good to
him. He did the best thing he knew
how to do and arose proudly on his
narrow perch, his fingers spread out
thumbWard from his nose. There were
nine gentlemen in the train crew and
that is why only nine chunks of the
precious black stuff came the way of
Mr.. Monk.
Then another coal train hove in
sight and AIS monk tried to be pleas
ant again. Net returns-seventeen
pieces of coal.
According to the latest bulletins the
monk has paid for himself ninety-three
times over in his weight in gold-or
anthracite-and Mr.. Al c. is sitting
UP nights with a friend who once went
to the brothers school trying to figure
out the following problem:
IF seven train crews averaging
twelve men each can throw one ton of
hard coal at one monkey in three DAYS.
how long will it be before I can spit
in the eye of J. Pierpont Morgan"