The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-10-31
WHY HOPPER QUIT.

tone OF voice, Win an absence or EeS-
ture, and with scarcely rising or fall
his expression. But for the words, you
might have fancied he was reading a
spring poem
'"The worst Of all came when he
reached the XIII him; kill the umpire!
part. You know how the cranks say it
just roar it out savaGely, as though
they meant it. But Thayer put no par
ticular emphasis on the lines; he spoke
them just as he had the rest of it. in a
sad, Fire man, save my Child style, con-
veying absolutely no idea of the animos-
ity Of the Midwife rooters toward the
umpire who dared to call strikes Oh their
champion.
II was heart7broken when he conclud-
ed; some wayfshis rendering didn't seem
right; it wasn'tt heaareal thing. l flat:
tered myself that Iskad the correct idea.
sss... .;,:,le--- IT.: .:
IF you lsqsss yesE property pei, to your 9'
try to break syoaryWilitll'
t tS 9e: Of Wsat 1hsHo have their full
=: *r b, NM t M lbsapsaths it all to your
wen, YOU 81 ssee, Sc viii be u for my
children e break q u win tn it is for
me ta break hAxA6s' ~ =. IN ews York Weekly.
s. s} ~ , - :-- 81 ;sf =. ss :
E \; q z. South African scorrespo tells
how .scleVerly the Boer comma ndant
of English in the recent war. On one
occasion he 'galloped up to a blockhouse
and declared that he was in command
Of couple of squadrons of Marsha!rs
Horse and was being holly pursued by
Aritzinger himself. So we'll did he tell
his story that the blockhouses actually
held up the advance Of the pursuing col
ing up one evening to blockhouse,
dressed in an English captains costume
and attended by two orderlies, he an
nounced that the column to which he
was attached would pass through at mid
night on mig ht march, and they were
the spot at which he would cross, and
insisted on absolute silence being OBJ
served. Il think we have Kritzinger
cornered noW," he remarked cheerily.
And SO 'elp me- said the crest-fal,en
noncommissioned officer next morning
when he found out his mistake, ''if I
didn't salute i'm, and the men give i'm
a cheer as e rode off,"
MAN NOT MADE TO MOURN.
Stokes-.Speaking of mourning, if your
on black?
Bickers-Certainly not. If he left me
something handsome, why should I be
such a hypocrite as to don the garb of
woe? On the other hand, if he left me
out of his will, how could l consistently
put on mourning for such curmoud-
n?@Boston Transcript.
Stonewall Jackson had small mercy Oh
soldiers whom he caught struggling, but
is said to have laughingly condoned one
instance. During a forced march in the
summer of 1862 he stopped to consult
with one of his general officers. The en-
tire command had then passed; and, Is
jackson and his officers rode forward to
reJoln the column, the former discovered
private up persimmon tree. Asked
by the commander why he was so far in
the rear, the private replied:
'Eatin' simmons"
"Persimmons!' roared Jackson. 'Vhy.
they're not even ripe yet.'
Like 'em green just now," explained
the soldier.
And why?' asked Jackson, softening
little with amusement at the fellows
lacOnic manner.
ITO draw my innards up to fit nv "a
tlons, was the ansWer.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Dunkel Ito lawyer who is making out
his wilD-l want to leaf each clerk a
tousand pounds dot hat peen in my
employ twenty years.
Lawyer-Why, that's too liberal, Mr..
Dunkel.
Dunkel-Ah; dots it. None of tenn
NAT peen nit me ofer Won year, and it
poys ven I'm dead, amt id?-New York
News.
A manufacturer not 100 miles from
our city tells a good joke upon himself.
He is credited with being extremely dis
agreeable to his employees. A man lust
arrived in this country called on him one
day to ask for work. "Have you a rec
ommendation Of character?' he asked
the stranger. no. he replied, "but l
me one" Putting his bundle on the foo:,
he left. In the course of half al hour
he returned, took up his bundle and was
leaving the office without word. did
you get your character?" asked the man
ufacturer. The man, without hating a |
moment or raising his eyes, said: NO, |
Telegraph.
Mrs. Malaprop- He's got to be real
novel writer all Of a sudden.
Mrs. McCall-Yes, and it's quite sur
prisins that he should never have dis |
played his talent so late in life.
Mrs. Malaprop-Yes, it's been lynn |
doormat all this time.-Philadelphi !
Press.
Mamma, what will l have to do when
am educated and Accomplishment
"Oh, you can pass the rest of your life |
learning how to keen hOuSa ''-1;fo
DIPLOMACY.
Phoxy-I got good square meal last
night, the first in several weeks, and I |
have you to thank for it.
Friend-Me to thank? Well, that's
news to me.
my wife yesterday morning that YOU
We're coming out to dinner with me-
Philadelphia Press. }