Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-10-01
GOVERNMENT BY COMMISSIONS

GOV RNMENT BY COMMITS IONS.
The following letter from Jack Par
rott may be of interest in the tariff re-
form discussion that is going on:
Friend Jimminny:-I am kept abowt
az bizzy ez man kin be theas dais.
Heving started the trust exturmina-
shun burO Phil toald me he thawt he
kood run it fer a while if wood talk
up the tariff reform subjekt. He sed
thar waZ kOnsiderabbel tawk among
the republicans of the west in faiver
of tariff revishun az q meens of bust
ing the trusts and sumthing must be
did to stop tibet kind of phool tawk.
He sed the trusts woOdn't kom down
with emmy kampain greas ez long ez
thay want shoor the tariff wood be
let alOan.
Well, 1 fggerd on it fer spell and
then went to Moo York, whar me
and Cholly Schwab and Ponty Nor
gan he'd q long konsultashun. At
last we fggerd Owt q skeam tibet l
rather think IL daisie. We ar 60
ing to talk the tariff kwestyun owt of
pollyticks. Yessirree, thar won't be
no moar tariff tawk in polittikel KAN
pains emmy moar. Thar il going to
be permanent tariff komishun tibet
will look after the tariff. We fgger
to maik it abowt five membership
republicans, two demokrats and one
mugwump. Me and Cholly and Pom
ty hev abowt agread on hoo thay
shall be. The Republicans will be
Frick and Tom Shevlin; the demo-
krats will be Gallery of louisiana and
German of Maryland. Theodore
Havemeyer, hoo IL q republican in re-
publikan stats and demokrat in
demokrattik stats, will be the mug
wump member. Thay will divide up
the work. Gallery will Recommend
awl redukshuns in raw shuger and
Havemeyer will look after the saim
in refined shuger. Whenever Tom
Shevlin thinks the dooty on lumber
awt to be redoosd it will be redoosd.
When Frick feals thet iurn and steal
kin stand a redukshun it will be maid.
German will lcok after the other in
dustrys.
think the skeam IL a bewt. If it
goas throo the protekted industrys
won't mead to fear emmy sudden reduk-
shuns thet mite room THAR bizness.
Theas men will 20 at it in konsurv-
atlv way tibet will inspier konfdens
among the manewfakturers. The pee
pei may purhaps think thay ar not
very strongly represented, but thay
awt to be ewsd to tibet by this time.
Iwood hev taken one of the plaises
myself butt he'd got an idee dooring
the planning of this skeam tibet I fig
gerd wood let me In sumwhar els.
s'Ponty," sez I, ''1f this IL q good
plan fer the tariff what's the matter
with ekstending it to awl kwestyuns
thet kin k0m up?"
"Bully fer yu, Jack" sez Ponty.
"Yu hev struck the kerrekt solo oshun
of the problem. We will hev a rale-
rode kommishun to manaij awl mat
ters regarding ralerodes. I think Jim
Hill, George Gould, E. 81. Hartman
Vanderbilt and Moore kood fill the
piaises thar to purfektion. Gage,
Belmont, Drexel, Lamont and CleVe-
land wood be awlrite ez the money
and banking kommishun. Griggs,
Rockefeller, Baer, Whitney and Knox
will be the kOmmishun to regulait
trusts in jenerel. but wher do
kom IMP" SEE I. "We will make W
chairman Of q kommittee to keep pee.
pei poasted on publick affares," sed
Ponty. Sand what will yu do, Pom.
typ SEE Cholly. "I'l1 manaii the
kommishuns, ]" sed Ponty. .
It's awl settled and settled rite.
JACK PARRoTT: