Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-12-27
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Never Goes Amiss: A woman never
hits what she aims at unless she
throws kiss.-Somerville (Mass.l
Journal.
Gyer-8ald heads remind me of kind
words. Myer-What's the answer?
Gyer-They can never Chicago
Daily News.
He (cautiouslyl-Wh would yon
say if should ask you to be my wifeg
She (mOre cautiously)-Why don't you
ask me and find out.-Chicago News.
The ViSitor--How is your baby?
Trained Nurse-First rate! He is get
ting SO now l can occasionally leave
him with his motherI-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
Your husband appears to be such
thoughtful man." "Oh. he is, He
never forgets to caution me about
keeping down the housenSld expenses"
Detroit Free Press.
Your uncle is very religious man,
l understand" "Oh, YES, indeed. He
positively hates everybody who be-
own. Boston Transcript.
Their Cooks: "Muggins-AIy cook
left because we refused to treat her
as one of the family. Buggins -Humph.
My cook expects to be treated as COM
pany philadelphia Record.
Naturally: Rita-WHy is IA. Kodak
so glum looking? Nita--He and Flea
nor have just come out of the dark
room, where he had evidently devel-
oped Observation-Disclosures Tiger.
Casey-Well, ye can't prevlnt what's
past an gone. Cassidy Shurc, We
could av ye only acted quick enough.
Casey-How could We? Cassidy
Shtop it before it happens. -Tit-Blts,
Bunkocd Again: Il don't think much
of this museum" said Jinks; why
they amt got me- skull Of Napoleon
Honaparte, and the one | was in. up
to New York, has two. Baltimore
| American.
Home Is Best: She--You didn't stay
long in London. He-No, | couldn't
stand it. Over there, everybody knew
me for an American right away. Here,
| in New York, no one ever suspects it.
december Smart Set
You say your pastor is introducing
| novelties into the pulpity' Alas, yes!
lie has left the well-beaten paths OF
politics, society, finance and vice. and Is
| Introducing disccurses on the Bible and
| the New Testament. Puck.
is her social position an assured
oneY Il should say so. Why, It's
| bounded on the north by two genera
tons of scandals on the east by New
| port: on the south by ten millions: and
OH the west by South Dakota. Elk.
The Friendly Shadows of Night: Old
Crusteigh-H did you dare, sir, to
kiss my daughter last night on the
dark piazza? Young Gayboy--Gad. now
that I've seen her by daylight | won
der myself.-December Smart Set.
The professor laid his overcoat close
| ly about him as he walked down the
long, narrow passagcway between the
two rows OF split hogs hanging up in
the great packing house. The alsles
of grease" he muttered. Chicago
| Tribune.
"They had one of the strangest mar.
riages recorded for long time" "In
what respect" "In every respect.
| Why. both parents on both sides were
present. there was nothing sudden or
secret about 1t and their own clergy
man performed the ceremony. Judge.
II suppose you're trying to think up
lie TO tell your wife when you get
home,' said the first clubman. mo,
indeed" replied the other. I'm going
to tell her the truth" Surely you're
not?' Il certainly am, because she's
sure not to believe me. Philadelphia
Press
Grizzly Pete 0eading)-lt says here
a chap just shot the rapids of Niagara
in barrel Bunco Bill Huh, Prob
erly crouched down low an shot out o.
the bunGhole; but them Rapids OF
Niagara must be a powerful slow fam
lily to let chap plug 'cm like that
Judge.
But what will you do when all the
vermiform appendices shall have been
removed?' The great surgeon smiled
Il was reading only to-day" he said.
that tho stomach may be taken out"
without killing the patient?' How
funny you arer exclaimed the great
surgeon, and laughed outright.--Life.
Missed Sale: II am selling new
cyclopaedia," began the well-dressed
man who had been ushered into the re-
ception room on the strength Of his
makeup; would you care to look at
ltT' "'Tain't no use" replied Mrs.
Neurich; I'D break my neck If | ever
attempted to ride one of them fool
things. Chicago Daily News
The Day After Thanksgiving: wv hat
are the probabilities for tomorrow
asked the star boarder of the drug
clerk, who was looking over the paper.
The drug clerk turned to the weather