Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-09-20

She-"I am going to play Chopin"
He-"In what tlatT" She-"Why, in'
our own fiat, of course"
Wigg-"Is he nan of intelligence?''
Wagg-"I suppose so. At any rate, he
has never served on a jury"
Nell-"Love doesn't seem to agree
with Maude. She is thinner by TWEEN
ty pounds than she used to be" Belle
-"She has loved and lost, eh?'
Merchant-"I want this adj. where
everyone VIII see it." Solicitor-"We'
charge higher rates for space on the.
baseball page. Baltimore World.
Have you any Marcon rOses?"'
,sked the man entering the florists
What are they?" inquired the puz-
zled dealer in flowers. Wireless ones"
Customer Gin restauranU- Look,
here, waiter I've found button in
this salad" Waiter-"That's all
right, sir; it's a part of the dressing"
-TitBts.
Muggins--I understand that friend OF
yours is millionaire Is he one of the
0pen-handed, extravagant kind? Dug
glns-Yes, indeed. Why, he even pays
his taxes.
ia have you know that I've turned,
away thousands" stormed the heavy,
uagedian. Naturally" sneered the
comedian; your acting would tura
away anybody"
Dolly-"Your ride In the auto must
have been just lovely and exciting"
Madge-"It was exciting, but not love
ly. Charlie had TO use both hands t@
work it"-Judge. !
Prison Visitor-"What brought You,
here. my man" Conyict-"Danged ifi
| remember, but 1t wasn't an automo-,
bile, cause they didn't have none IN.
them days. Philadelphia Press.
Did yew ever salt sheep?" askets
the farmer Of the new hired man, wh@
came from Colorado. NO" replied the
new hired hand, but I've had consid
cradle experience in sailing mines"
What! sou call me pretty? Why, II
am an old woman: my hair is turning
white, and, look, here Is a wrinkle"-
"A wrinklel No, madam, it is a smile
that has drifted from It's moorings"
What Is your nativltyG" asked the
magistrate. Il aln't got any, y'r hon
or" said the blear-eyed lnebriate, feel.
ing In his pockets; 1.-The police took eV-i
erything l had. Chicago Tribune. I
Father-"I thought heard our John,
nile say he was sick, and now | see he's
out coasting. Did you do anything foE.
him" Mother-"Yes, | brought ia ais
the evening oal."-Ohio State Journal
81 suppose you set good table" re
marked the man who was looking for
board. We'll" replied the landlady,
three OF my regular boardcrs are laid'
up with the govt. Chicago Daily.
News.
I'm sorry you don't like The new
nurse" she said to her husband. she's
so good about singing to baby ana
keeping him quiet" Yes" was the
calm reply; but Ia rather hear the
baby cry"
The little girl was watching her
mother and father discussing plate
Of oysters the other night. Mann
ma" she said, after some thought
you eat them face and all, don't your
Boston Journal
Mrs. Youngbride-I've come 10 com
plain Of that -four you seE me- Grocer
What was the matter with It? Mrs.
Youngbride-1t was toughA | made q
pie with II, and ii was as much as my.
husband could do to cut It, AsPhiladcI-
phia Press.
Weary Willie-"I jes' put in good
days work In thirty minutes" Frayees
Fagin-|'Explain yerself." WeaR VIA
level, / put In six pies, a pm Nv
doughnuts an four Jars Nv preserves
Oats n good days work fer any win
an."-Judge.
The Suitor--I wish to marry your eh.
est daughter, sir. Her Father-Oh, yd
do, ehI Are you In a position to sup
port familyl The SuitOr--i think so, \
sir. Her Father-Well, you had better
be sure of it. There are ten of us ais
told.-Chicago News.
What is the greatest fib that ever
impressed itself on your experience.
Snapper" Well, by all odds, the worst
one | ever heard was that your quar-
tette perpetrated last night when they
came round TO the house and sang
There's Music In the Air"
"Wny Is 1t that so few people seem
anxious to talk to Mr.. Carpington? He
seems well Informed" That's Just
tie ditncnlty," answered Miss Dimple-
tor "De's one of those dreadful men
who know enough to correct your mis-
takes when you quote the classics, ana
who doesn't know enough not to do it,"
schoolmastcr turning round sharply
Which Of you Is 1t that is daring IL
make faces at me? Six youngsters lie
chorusJ- Freddy Brown, sir! School
master-Ah! Then you six boys stana
out and be caned. If you saw Freddy
Brown making faces, 1t shows that yos