The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-03-07


At Il dinner to graduates of the Pots.
dam (N. ~ normal school Mr. Rachel-
Ter responded to- the roast, "Reminiscen-
eos OF Eben Holden He described the
North country, telling many funny sto-
ries illustrating types Of character in
zAlat region. At the CLOSE Of his speech
he narrated the incidents connected with
his return TO his hone and visit he paid
to the form where he had spent his child
hood.
AS drove UP TO the farmhouse said
Mr Bachelor, Il noted that the chinl-
ney, was tottering, the wellsweep Was
broken, and OH every side there. We're
signs Of decay. Presently a long, lank
farmer came out, wearing an ancient
pair of tr@rese1.s that might have covered
the nakelness Of his grandfather.
"'HowifH. said he.
'Howdx, said I.
WHIP he yu:' says he.
Paul Bachelors boy. said l.
..'Wouldnt ha' know'd yer sand he.
Hitch up yer boss
"'Canit stop, said I.
I hear WI done noble, said he
oh, I'm getting on all right >s,iid
I. How is it with you?
Just living said he.
"'Why don't 'y,r quit, said l.
'''Can't'
"'Wlw?'
mortgage"
8" 'Eetter die.
''Can't; that's mortgaged, too
Just then a neighbor drove up, and
afte: being introduced, said to ant.:
"'WGll, when your father kept this
place it looked better
"'Yaas,' admitted the owner: AN if
you'd stayed here it could ha' looked bet
ter. t1o.'
":Yuas,' drawled the farmer, slowly.
"*Farm'd ma looked better, fe1ler'd ha
looked /, dam sight WORSE"
\ certain member of the legal |profes-
sion, whose name is omitted fol- lHeasons
which will appear obvious, Wars asked
| some years ago by young negro ito de-
fend him Oh the charge Of murder.
"How much money have g0l got?"
asked the lawyer.
None, sab"
Amy friend or relative who'll raise
"Nune,," aespairingly replied the negro
Use got nobody ter cum t ME aid"
"Hmmph!!' muttered the attorney.
'Say, Won don't want a lawyer You
| want i; minister Philadelphia Times
The University of Pennsylvania has
not il large endowment, and that it finds
the. means to pay it's current expenses
! and put NJ new buildings is due, says
the Philadelphia Times. in great measure
to its provost. Charles G. Harrison.
His little black subscription book is we'll
known Eli many Il down town oftice-too
| well Known. Il prominent broker told him
not long ago. Mr.. Harrison was plead
| ing perSistcntly with him for Il Subscrip-
ton. but in vain. Finally the broker
| said:
See here. Mr.. Harrison. I will give
YOU something on one condtion.',
| Very we'll, Mr.. r. said the pro-
| vost. name it,.
1.-THE condition is that you promise
l ask you to do So.
"Certainly. Mr. T. ] agree to
| that said the provost promptly. and
walked out smiling with IL check for
$1,000.
\ month Or so later the broker heard
a knock at his door. Come in he
called, and i'll walked Mr.. Harrison. He
had the black book under his arm
Good morning. MI. T." he said {;
II want You t" help me. with Il little
! university matter am
Look here. Mr.. Harrison the broker
continued. when l gave you that last
$1,000. wasn't it on the express condition
that you wouldn't come into my office
again until invited your
'Why. yes.' returned the provost. Il
believe that was the understanding. But
didn't hat< You gu ga say Come in just now when
They say the check this time was for
| five thousand.
II say. is this here the novel you adj
vised me to read?" said the cabman to
! the librarian.
Yes" replied the librarian. - That's
the one"
WELL said the ca bman, "you can just
| take it back There's nine people in the
| first four chapters who hired cabs, and
each of 'em when he got oft flung his
purse to the driver Now. when l want
that sort Of literature III 60 to Jules
Verne and get it pure.'-Tit-Bits.
At the opening performance of "When
Knighthood Was in Flower at St. Louis
recently. Author Major was sitting in
| one of the rear seats of the orchestra,
trying his best to appear unconcerned.
When the crowd was crying vocifer-
ously for the author to make a speech, a
young. woman, not knowing Mr. Major,
turned to him and said:
IS! wonder if Mr.. Major is in the thea
ter"
The author gave a guilty start and re-
piled: II really do not know ,
| well. it he u.s. said the young wom-
an, "he ought to have sense enough to
IlNhc SpecCu.
Quite right replied Major
The young woman continued her in
quiries:
Would you know him if you saw
him."
Majors eyes twinkled bit as he re-
piled: Il really 90 not believe I could
! distinguish him from anybody eisc''
The young woman gazed at him sharp
| ~.
''Do you mean that you do not know
| him, or that You are far-sighted?"
Major Uttered audibly. The young
woman turned OH him abruptly Il sup
pose you think you're smart
Indeed, you misjudge me-" said the
author.
well. anyway" said the young wom-
| an, II don't believe he knows very much,
or he wouldn't be afraid to make a
| speech. Do you?'
Major felt that he could not answer
with impartiality, so he choked back his