Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1902-09-04

to think OF my imitation wife at
home and kept my seat by the door.
Married men have no business
talking to the young ladies'" said
to myself.
Miss Beaufort looked at me
rather queerly, but said nothing,
and | thought the bus would never
get to the city.
Thursday was the evening ! was
to call on Vene, and | forgot to send
her an excuse. On Friday a note
came from her which mother took
the liberty of opening, as she
thought | would not care, and she
felt like representing my wife in
the desk. 1t was a tender missive
and somewhat surprised me when [
saw it. But what could I do? Mar
ried men have no business getting
tender notes from young ladies. In
asmuch as | had contracted to carry
out mothers plan for two weeks I
left the note for mother to an
swer. She is a very truthful wo-
man, but in answering the note she
prevarlcated
She said that I was very sick, and
as a natural consequence Vene
called that afternoon to see me, but
| was at business, and mother had
to invent another story. Then she
had to come all the way to the
office so as to keep me from coming
home my usual way for fear Vene
might catch us.
laughed a good deal at mother,
and Vene did not find us out, but
Mrs. Jones-an awful gossip-met
her, and Vene told her [ was sick,
and the next day all my society
friends came round, among them
Miss Beaufort.
Mother met her rather coldly,
but invited her to stay awhile.
Il suppose Mr.. Silver is almost
worn out with SO much going out ?"
said the young lady.
Gle is much BETTER" said
mother, <sbut I do not think he will
go out for several weeks. I think
that I shall keep him at home"
Il am so glad" said Miss Beau
fort; s'not that you are going to
keep him at home, but that he is
not going out SO much. I am get
ting so that I fairly detest society,""
Here was woman who had my
mothers views, and they both there
upon had a confidential talk and
pleased each other nightly.
Then she asked the mater to call
on her mother, which she did.
Meanwhile I was staying at home
every evening and was getting
pretty tired Of it, as the two weeks
were drawing to close.
Don't you think man ought to
take his wife out once in awhile ?"
said | to mother.
ssWhy not?" said she.
SSThen I'll take her to the theater
tonight So I took a couple Of
reserved seats at Drury Lane the
alter for the following night, and
mother, who represented my wife,
went with me.
We had hardly taken our seats
before I noticed that they were adj
joining those of Miss and Mrs.
Beaufort.
We went home together that
night and laughed and talked a
good deal
I think mother told Mrs. Beaufort
what we had been doing, but did
not hear it. I know that several
days later, after my two weeks of
married life were over, I went to
call on Miss Beaufort. We had
pleasant time together, and just as
/ was about to leave the old lady
came in.
II forgot to ask you, Mr.. Silver,
what you thought of married ife,"
she SAID.
Miss Beaufort looked Mortified,
but laughed.
Mother has been telling you,
has she 2" said /.
1'She has" said she.
SWELL" said !, during tho two
weeks I was married / read three
good books, gained four pounds in
weight, saved $25, tesides paying
mother for my wife's board and the
tickets to the theater."
'sAnd who were you married to?"
ask Miss Beaufort.
II forgot to look" said I. I hur-
ried home to see who my wife had
been. The envelope was just as ]
had placed it in my desk drawer. ]
tore it open, and there was the name
of Miss Beaufort.
"Well," said |, mother made her
an imitation wife; now I will try