Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-09-06
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his wife. Puck.
He-"But she spends too much
money" His Wife-"No-o, don't
think so: but her husband doesn't make
enough. Brooklyn Life.
Ted-"Why are you so opposed to the
small families of the rich?" Ned-'Our
millionaires haven't daughters enough
to go around. Town Topics.
The Goyerness-"I know French and
German" Mrs Uptedate-,'rhat Is
not sufficient | want some one who
can teach my children Scotch"
| Heard in a bookstore: ~ suppose
! that work in sixty volumes is an eney-
clOpedia." mo; it is called The Love
Letters Of Mormon Elder smart
/ Set.
| Fathel-"In choosing a wife. one
should never judge by appearances"
! Son-"That's right. Often the pref
tiest girls have the least money!
| Puck.
Nervous Employer Thomas, 4 wiss
you wouldn't whistle at your work.
Office Boy amt working, -: Ins
only just whlstling. Boston Tran
! script.
Mac-"Where is Marion these days?''
Editor-"Ies out in the country writ
ing special article on how to keep
cool in the city during the summer
days. Chelsea Gazette.
well, doctor, what's the matter with
me?' the Anglomanac patient asked
'Lumbago" replied the physician
Good "Good?" "Yes, that's what
King Edward has"-Pittsburg Chron>
icle.
Your daughter is so very modest.
Nine. Dupret! Her eyes are always ON
the ground" 'Yes. you see, her sister
found purse in the street one day,
and she hopes to lind one. toop'--Is
| Rre.
Your daughter taste in music is inn
proving pc eptibly," said the professor.
Il think it must be-" answered Mr..
Bliggns she doesn't try to play ncaF.
ly as much as she did."-Washingto
Star.
Young Man (bitterly) OF course.
You can't keep anything secret in this
town. l did nope my engagement to he
married wouldn't get out just yet" His
Friend-"Why did you tell the girl,
then T'--Chicago News
Two Irishmen were arguing who was
the cleverer Well" said Pat, I'm bet
you can't tell me what keeps bricks to-
gcther." "Shure, said Mike, Its NOR.
tar" NO said Pat. you are wrong;
that keeps them apart"
Rev Goodman"I was surprised to
see you playing golf last Sunday Z
should think you would try to do bet
ter" Hardliase--"O! ! usually do much
better was in wretched form last
Sunday. PHILADELPHIA Press.
Ping allow did you come out on that
stock deal last week 2" Pong-"Lost
$500 Png-"But l thought you said
n friend had given You pointeEP'
Pong-"So | thought--but II turned
out to be a disappointer. Chicago
Daily News.
What makes you so sure your COM
position viii be a hit?" asked the pub
fisher. Because" answered the song
writer. confidently, my musical friends
say the music is trash and my literary
friends agree that the words are TOM
myrot ~ Washington Star.
"Do you think II would improve my
stylcI" inquired the varsity man who
nad got into the crew through favorit-
ism, III l were to acquire n faster
stroke?" 1t would improve the crew."
replied the candid trainer. ''if you got
paralytic stroke It'll Bits.
Brown--"i say, pumley, Robinson
has threatened that the first time ne
meets you he proposes 10 knock some
sense into you. You'd better look out
for him. Dunlcy (contemptuously)-
Pooh, 1t would take a dozen men
| like Robs.son to knock any sense Into
! me-"
| Lady--"IIcre Is cent. Now, what
are you going 70 do with IT." Weary
| Wag2Ies -"Ah, mum, III hev ter sub.
NIT dat question to the Board nv Di.
rcctots nv de Copper Trust. 1t wouldn't
do ter dump all dis metal onter dc map-
| ket al once widout considerin' de prob
| able consequences. Judge
| A sliding scale: Lone arrival lat sum-
| iucr RESORT What are your terms
| here Hotel "Um-you viii
have to wait until the through express
| gets in. If it les loaded, our terms win
be ten dollars a day. 1t is empty, we
| will pay you twenty five cents an hour
to sit on the porch and look happy.
| New York Weekly
What it's coming to: II will have to
have three more days out week, ana
receive thy company In the parlor,"
said tine cook lady firmly. Bridget"
replied the mistress OF the house, -
warn you not to push me too far You
seem to forget that ! belong to the
| Housewives Union, No. 17."-Cincln-
natl Commercial Tribune
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