davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26
nho have abeoIutelv no knowledge Of

who have absolutely no knowledge Of
geology.
The fellow who thinks the world
owes him a living is generally too lazy
to go and collect.
Mrs Muggins-'Is your husband alb
sent-minded2" Mrs. Buggins-''Well,
he's always losing his temper
Blobbs-sEIe has been engaged to
two girls. and used the same ring eacn
time" SlobbsZ'He evidently believes
in killing two birds with one stone
First Office Boy read in de paper
about a kid wo't had two great-great-
grandmothers, great-great -grand-
father an a whole bunch O great
grandmothers an great grandfathers. .
Second Office Boy-"Geel He oughter
see a lot o baseball games dis season -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26
GLoBR sraHrs.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.l

TIE <1LC4llSO-1 IlODE-i
When a girl is pretty she is usually
first to hear it.
The poorer a mans credit. the less
hesitancy he has in asking for it
An Atehison man hides when he
chews tobacco. And why shouldn't he?
What has become Of the old fashioned
women who made sheep sorrel pie?
We have noticed that the younger a
newspaper reporter the more paper he
Lots of women say they win never
wear mourning, but when the time
comes, they give in.
The trouble with very strict church
member is that one sees SO many things
to be shocked at.
We are greatly surprised this spring
at failure to find an imitation silk po-
tato on the new spring hats
Mrs. Sarah Wilkins has bought her
new spring hat. and it is gay We
hope she won't finally sign her name
sara"
We heard a nan say today, 20. we'll,
you hear all sorts of talk And it's true.
Nine-tenths of the talk you hear IS
triffing.
When a woman is cross and surIy,
in spite of the fact that she has sweet
little baby, there is usually only one
explanation.
After a girl gets married. she stands
q chance of losing her job if she doesn't
give satisfaction but no chance of
making higher wages.
One particular reason We want rain:
Some of the girls are wearing such
ugly hats we want to see them rained
on. and put out of sight early
Notice to the moths: You VIII find
those raglans as good as trawberries
and cream. and the people win be CRATE
full if you eat them all up.
man was speaking his mind" on
the streets today. If they think they'll
find a soft snap in me, he said, they'll
find they are badly mistaken"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

and recommends revision of the tariff.
Financing of new ocean steamship COM
bination practically finished. capital VIII
be Siz9.0O9. o90 with bond issue OF 500 0JJ.o01
Seyentv-live lives are lost in burning
near Cairo of the steamer City OF Pitts
burg. bound from Cincinnati to Memphis
with $50 persons on board.
Frank r. Stockton dies suddenly while
on a visit to Washington.
Hot wave extends over west and Kansas
wheat crop threatened. Mercury reaches
50 degrees at Omaha and q at St. Joseph
President-elect Palma reaches Cuba and
while in Hoiquin occupies same room as
when Spanish prisoner . years ago.
". "A. Reeder is nominated for congress
from the Sixth Kansas district
Senator Money Of Memphis cuts car con-
ductor's hand 10 dispute over fare Trial
is set for next week.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR


When a man has politics on the brain
he has nothing in it.
It takes big man to forgive the acts
against him Of a little man.
The stone wall against which we fool
ishly bang our silly heads we call Fate.
Understanding a woman's mind is as
easy as understanding something that
doesn't exist
Sometimes selling the horns of di-
lemma is as satisfactory as selling a
knife blade in your ribs.
Even when the cook hasn't discharged
the woman of the house you've got to
be afraid Of her or she Will.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

President Roosevelt orders Gen. Funston
to stop making public comment on Phil
ippine campaign
Republican convention at Freeport III
renominaIes Congressman r. r. Hit and
recommends him for r.. s senator.
San Frencisco street railroad strike con
tinues and Mayor Sehmitz refuses police
protection to company.
Striking dyers at Paterson, N j. raid
shops forcing out several thousand work
ers and bringing about suspension Of bust
ness
Five hundred persons are killed and
much property is destroyed by recent
earthquakes ia Guatemala
American troops fight two enga gements
with the MOrOs of Nindana, in which the
natives we're routed.
Fire in the Barbican district Of London
does 81. COO 000 damage.
indiana Republicans in state convention
listen to speech by Senator Beveridge.
Platform condemns trusts ana mergers
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

One more Goebel murder trial has
come to an end, this time with the ae-
Quittal Of the accused. After the ex-
penditure of years of tine and many
thousands of dollars in money the
Kentucky authorities are no nearer the
truth as to who fired the shot that kill
ed Governor GOebel than they We're the
day after it happened. But there was
a 100000 appropriation and the money
must be spent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

The Illinois Central Railway com
pany has planted $50 acres in Louisiana,
near New orleans, with catalpa for rail-
way ties. The number of trees set IS
100000 In IS years it is expected that
100000 ties will be ready for use. If the
trees flourish. that number should be
ready in ten years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Gen. Funston says he didn't use wa
ter for the purpose of extracting infor-
nation from stubborn Filipinos, but he
doesn't deny using it as a means Of
getting at the enemy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

The president stopped the Schley-
Sampson controversy. silenced Miles
and appears 10 be in a fair way to
squelch Funston. Let the good work go
on till no method of kicking will be rec
ognized in military and naval circles
except the MOUND robin
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

IN accordance with the orders Of the
president General Chafee is trying to
void whipping the dattos into subsection
but is finding the undertaking a difficult
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Having captured about everything
worth having on land and sea. J. Pier
0ont Morgan has now turned his atten-
ion to things subterranean and will be-
with underground railways Of Lon
.fou
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

1t win be noticed that Senator Car
mack waited until the president had APP
piled the gag to Gen. Funston before he
jumped onto him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Gen. Smith says he did all those
things he is charged with doing and by
his manner says. What are you going
TO do about it?''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

In some quarters Cuban reciporicty is
being opposed on the ground that Amer
leans have bought up the sugar crop
and the sugar lands and would get all
the benefit of the reduction in duty
Funny isn't it2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

With meat, butter and eggs at pres
ent prices and going higher, the full
dinner pail may come to contain only
fodder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Major Waller said he did it but the
court martial found him not guilty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Ohio has given place to Iowa in the
matter OF office getting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Il had running. itching sore on my
leg. Suffered tortures. Deans ONT
ment took away the burning and itch
ing instantly, and quickly erected per
manent cure" c. ". Lenhart, Bowling
Green. Q.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

When the Smiths stand together for
what is right, says the Rochester Union
and Advertiser, there is great reason
for the country to be hopeful. All Of
the members of that family in the
house of representatives voted for the
amendment to the Cuban reciprocity
bill abolishing the differential duty on
refined sugar Here are their names
O. w. Smith. Illinois: w l. Smith.
Iowa; ID. H. Smith, Kentucky; Fl. C.
Smith. Maryland; S. W. Smith, Michi-
gan; w A Smith. Michigan. A con-
gress composed entirely Of Smiths would
undoubtedly give us tariff revision.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-26

Courier-Journal; It is strange thar
congress has never met the demand for
e convenient postal currency for trans
action Of small business by mail. This
demand is real, general and has been
long existent. The present postal
money order system is inadequate to
meet it. The extent to which trans
missions Of small sums are made by
mail is enormous, and the inconvenience
to which the public is subjected on &C
count Of the lack of a satisfactory
medium for making these transactions
is very great. Moreover, this incon-
venienee is entirely inexcusable. for it
could be very easily avoided by d
simple, safe and Inexpensive system OF
postal paper. Why such system has
not been provided is not to be explained
on any theory consistent with the in
clination Of congress to serve the com
mon interest of the people. 1t is IN
pardonable to subject the people of the
country to such ineficiency and fncon-
eenienee when the remedy could so
readily be provided.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1902-09-20
J. T. D. KINN1soN,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAw,
Leland, Miss.

viii practice In all the courts of the
state. We loan money on improved
plantations at 8 per cent interest. Call
and see US about a loan. 1t will be to
your advantage. mi.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
WELLS THAT BREATHE.

In recent paper published by the United States geological survey on wells and windmills in Nebraska mention Is made of the interesting phenomena of the breathing or blowing wells which are found distributed throughout large DOT ton of the State of Nebraska. These wells are of the driven type. mostly in use upon the plains, but are distinguished from those of ordinary character by a remarkable and unexplained egress and ineress of currents of air which produce distinctly audible sounds and give the names variously applied to them of bEeathing. signing. blowing or roaring wells. according to their character, in diff ferent places.
 The air currents are readily tested with the fiaYnes of candles or by dropping chaff or feathers into the well tubes There are neriods when these wells blow out for several days and equal periods whom their air currents are reversed. It has been ob- served that the blowing occurs with changes of the barometer. Some wells are found to be most audible when the wind is from the northwest. with rise in water level but with a change of wind air is drawn in and the water Is observed to sink.
 During the progress of a low barometer violently expelled from the wells. with a noise distinctly audible for several rods. Professors Loveland and Swezey of the University of Nebraska have made obser- yations on a we'll of this nature in Per kins County. and found it's breathing pe- riods were exactly coincident with the barometric changes. No satisfactory ex- planation of this strange phenomenon Is advanced
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
A Costly Shot.
Tha Nation

He XshtiOu.
 It is improbable that fifty persons in the United States not in official life were aware that all arbitration was pending between Germany on the one hand, and the United States and Great Britain on the ether. concerning affairs in the Sa. moan Islands. or one affair therein It seems. however. to be fact that such a case has been in court since Nov. ., 1899. the arbitrator being the King of Sweden and Norway. It has been decided by King Oscar in favor of Germany. The finding of his Majesty is. that when the naval forces of the United States and Great Britain in Samoan waters fired Se1 the canoes of one of the rival claimants to the throne of Samoa, and landed a force of bluejackets in the island of Apia. in the year 1888, they exceeded their au- thority. The usual consequence of an arbitration. as of an ordinary lawsuit, Is claim for damages on the oart of pri- vate individuals. These amounted offgi- nally to about $3o000. but after the case was rsferred to arbitration they rose to s3oo, COG which Is probably in excess of the value of all the property on the island of Apia at the time when the damage was inflicted.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
WOULD NOT TAKE PLACE
MAJOR SCREWS OoRRECTs
 ERRONEOUS REPORT.
Has Not Been Rendered Postmaster ship of Montgomery and Could Not Accept It From
 Republican President.

Major Wallace W. Screws said last night that he would not accept the Mont gomery Postmastership if rendered him by President Roosevelt and further more. that he had no knowledge that he would be appointed should he express a desire for the position.
 Major Scrsws's statement followed a perusal of the following clipping from yesterday afternoons Birmingham News:
 Local Birmingham politicians in dis cussing the probable removal of Post master Buckley of Montgomery. are spec ulating upon his probable successor and In this connection the name of Major Wallace Screws, the editor of The Mont gomery Advertiser. is prominently mem tioned. Major Screws was formerly post master at Montgomery. serving under Cleveland, and this fact may be respon- sibie for the mention of his name just now. He Is believed to be friendly to Judge Buckley, and desirous of saving him. but it Is thought that If the removal of the latter proves unavoidable and the place is offered to him he will accept"
 Sometime ago." said Major Screws. T was assured by two prominent men that the ofYice would be tendered me should consent to accept 1t. I told these gentle men that under no circumstances would receive the appointment at the hands of a Republican President. My position now Is as then T am partisan Democrat and expect through The Advertiser to make a partisan fight for the election of z Democrat to the Presidency in 1904. could not accept office at the hands of q Republican administration and then wage partisan warfare against it. The article in The Birmingham News has no founda ton in fact.'
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
AT FIRST GLANCE
It Would Appear That Local Rem edies Would be Best for Cure
 of Catarrh.

It would seem at first glance that ca tarrh being a disease of the mucous mem- brane, that salves, sprays, etc. being ap- ulied directly to the membranes of the nose and throat. would be the most ra- tionai treatment but this has been proven not to be true.
 The mucous membrane is made and re- paired from the blood, and catarrh is blood disease and any remedy to make permanent cure must act on the blood, and when the blood Is purified from oatar- rhal poison the secretions from the mu- c6us membrane will become natural and healthy.
 In this climate. thousands of people seem scarcely ever free from some form of catarrh; 1t gets better at times but each winter becomes gradually deeper seated and after a time the sufferer re- signs himself to 1t as necessary evil.
 Catarrh cures are almost as numerous as catarrh sufferers, but are nearly all so inconvenient and ineffective as to rem der their use a nuisance nearly as annoy ing as catarrh itself; anyone wno has used douches, sprays and powders will hear witness to tkeir inconvenience and failure to really cure.
 There are a number of excellent inter nal remedies for catarrh, but probably the best and certainly tho safest is new remedy composed Of Hed Gum' Blood Root and similar antiseptic remedies and other valuable catarrh specifics.
 This remedy is In tablet form. pleasant to the taste and sold by druggists under the name of stuart's Catarrh Tablets, and anyone suffering from catarrh may use these ta blets with absolute assurance that they contain no cocaine, opiate nor any poisonous mineral whatever.
 A leading druggist in Albany speaking of catarrh cures says. "I have sold vari- ous catsrrh cures for years but have nev- CT sold any which gave such general sat- isfaction as Stuart's Catarrh Tablets. They contain in a pleasant, concentrated form all the best and latest catarrh rem edies, and catarrh sufferers. who have used douches. sprays and salves. have been astonished at the quick relief and pe1rnanent results obtained after a weeks use of Stuart's Catarrh Tablets" All druggists sell full sized packages for fifty cents. thuASat-su.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
IN COMPLIMENT TO MOORE
 ANDER@ON ATTENDANTS,

Mrs. Charles s. Anderson entertained last night the friends who will take part in the wedding ceremonies of her daugh- ter, Miss Vesta Anderson. who will be married this afternoon to MT. Henry Moore of Columbus, Ga.
 The wedding party were the only friends present and a delightful evening was en- joyed. In the dining room a table was arranged in white and green. The bridal cake was the centre piece and was placed on a square of Mount Meilick lace. which WAS surrounded by a heart traced with smiIax. The flowers were white roses.
 A table from which fruit punch was served was set with hand-painted bowl and pink roses.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
MOTHER WONDER OF SCIENCE.
iology has Proved that DandruR is
 Caused by @ Germ,

Science is doing wonders these days in edicine as well as in mechanics Since |dam delved, the human race has been
 koubled with dandruff. for which no hair
 ,reparation has heretofore proved a suc- Anaful cure until Newbro's Herpicide Iaa nut on the market. It is q scientific
 '-eua ration that kills the germ that akes dandruff or scurf by digging into Ae scalp to get at the root of the hair, 'here 1t saps the vitality; causing itch
 q scaIp. falling hair and finally bald |ssa. Without dandruR hair must grow xuriantly Herpicide at all druggists.
 is the only destroyer of dandruff. Send cents in stamps for sample. The Her
 eide CO. Dept K" Detroit, Mich. Sold \, E. c, Fowler, Druggist. thu.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
MEETING or SANS soUoI


 The first meeting of the season of the Sans Souci Card Club was heia yester- day morning when the club was enter tained by Miss saiiie Rudulph at the home of her sister. Mrs. F. c. Norton. The hall. parlor and reception hall were thrown into one apartment which was tastefully decorated with pink and white roses. chrysanthemums, and evergreens. Over the head table was suspended a bell of asparagus and ferns from which trail ed pink satin ribbons.
 After the same delicious refreshments were served. The club prize. a souvenir spoon. was won by Mrs Charles Vest colt. The guests prize, an Italian vase, was cut for by Mrs. W. Burton, and Mrs ". Hill. the latter winning.
 Besides the members the following guests were present:
 Mesdames Junius Pierce. Joseph Bur ton. Warren Burton. Silas Tyson. D. W. Troy. R. L. Harmon. H. N. LeGrand Frank Mcdonald. McDufr Cain, Ira vir- gin. W. Hill. J. T. Roberts. A. J. Brame James Hughes of Birmingham, T. r. Leak. Berto Johnson. Alex Garland. For ney C. Stevenson, Frank Holt, Thomas c. McKeithon. Charles Norton Charles Chandler. E. O.. Norton, J. H. Whet- stone; Misses Kate Campbell, Kathleen Martin. Mary Graham. Lulu Pearson, Sal lie Jones. Virginia Norwood. Eunice Rich ardson. Virgie Burton. Clara Tennille Camilla Brame, Josie Hubbard. Janet Hurter, Toy Chastain. Philippe RouS- seau. Mamie Thompson, Matte Wilker- son, Nellie Meyer. Ida May Stone Eva Randolph. Elm Randolph, Kitty Lahey, Minnie Bunkley. Fannie Chandler, Mary Seibels Ball. Lucy Sayre.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20

St. James Gazette.
 The King is said never to foswet neze or a face. Queen Victoria nsAde h Y q pcant in his education that the daFeloPe meut of memory be . oArefualy csnsadere4 feature. Many parsops have eeen sur prised at the Kings rsmenbsrang ana singling them out for recognition Tn the presence of a throng of people They ten a. story in Rome of the King having no tfced in . cafe there. while traveling ins- coRnito, a restaurant proprietor who had attended upon him elsewhere. The man. all unconscious of the identity of his pa- tron, So the story runs. slapped the Prince as he then was. upon the back. exclaim- ing delightedly. 2"Biess you, sir; you're the only man that's put foot In this place
 who remembers my being at Ostend!
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
SENATOR MORGAN AND
 MISS MORGAN AT RICHMOND.

Of the first nights presentation of Audrey" which took place at Rich mond. Va. The Times, of that city, says:
 ''Senaaor Morgan and Miss Morgan of Alabama, who have been with Miss Mary Johnston for the past several sum mers at Warm Springs. have accepted an invitation from Mrs. John L. Eubank to come to Richmond next Monday and at-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20
GOES BACK TO cLEBURNE.
John P. Curry Who Was Arrested in MontrouaePy.

Montgomery.
 John P Curry alias Bardell will leave [oday in charge of Deputy Sheriff Adams Tor CIehurne County, where he is want ed for seduction.
 Curry was arrested in Montgomery Monday by Mounted Patrolmen Mckee hnd LaPrad on suspicion. He was at he time of his arrest driving horse to |l buggy. Both the horse and buggy were but in the city pound and still remain there.
 Police Chief Adolph Gerald at once ad- Eised the Sheriff of Cleburne County that he had the wanted man in custody. Last night Deputy Sheriff Adams of |-Ieburns County. came to Montgomery l nd the man was turned over to him. Erkcy leave today for Edwardsville. Cur |y was indicted by the last cieburne Bounty grand jury for seduction but left he County before the arrest was made.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-11-20

Members of the Cradle of Confederacy Chapter, U. D. C., have accepted an offer of Prof. J. c. Weisner to sell tickets for his entertainment on the zsth For every ucket sold a member will receive one proceeds of which will 20 te furrish room in raikner's Soldiers Home at Mt. Creek. -adv