New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-09-03

cipIes of Malebranche and the doctrines Oh 'he
Westminster Confession
Here then, is the first great salient TACT at
tested by the Census Office, that III the Lbitcu
States in the wear 1900 there were manufact-
ured no fewer than 1120532 gross of needles
and 80 f67 ST. gross Of pins. With that lac'
and its obvious suggestions we may wen rest
our case For those figures mean, IN rohhd
numbers about two needles and hundred pms
a wear for every man. woman and ch1ld Ill XII
tlo land Now married men count less than
one-eichth of the population. wherefore the
allotment TO them would be at least sixteen
needles and eight hundred pins apiece each
year. Surely not even the most hardened pessl-
mist of grabbed old bachelor will pretend that
on the average matrimony brings TO man any
tbine, like such n number of troubles The
idea is as Euclid sagey observed of something
else absurd Wherefore since the number OF
noodles and nIns is In no wise commensurate
with that of mans matrimonial troubles, we
NAV confidently repudiate the intimatlon that
there Ia any relation between the Two
Impressive too, are some OF the analytical
features of the case, whether or not they are
especially relevant to our major pfoposiuoh.
It is TO be observed that Of all kinds OF needies
the plain old fashioned one, silver OF steer
with \ noint on one end and hole in the other.
&c decidedly fhe most numerous. That, too IN
the land of the sewing machine! So strongly
do Old WAYS and manners survive through
stress of sheer necessity above our Wanted
modern Inventions. Again of the 24.loo'o4o
pins the vast majority, 6.S16.i33,''o, were OF
the common variety. Nearly seven plliloii
common nins wear, What amplitude of agony
could be created by their upturned points OH
school teachers chairs. How many lives. ac-
,t,i lhcr
not save-by not being swallowed! Nearly
seven billion common pins a year. Whatever
does become of them? The sea is not filled
with them: the dust we tread upon is not
nricklv with them; the tables of infant NOR
talitv refute the theory that they are chiefly
swallowed And yet they come and 20. each
wear nearly seven billions strong. Strange,
mystical phenomenon.
Think of the hairpnS. TOO. There We're
Ii. 80 TG Of them. That may not seem many
to some men who extravagantly aFoW that
their wives wear more hairpinS than halr But
consider the multitudinOus utility OF them.
nainstaking investigator has enumerated no
fover than fortv-seyen distinct and important
functions which women cause hairpns to per
form including the unlocking OF doors. the
drawing of corks, the vaccination of babies. and
even Il is said. the holding of hair In place
Think Of the number OF such uutleS lhoSe
III. 23O976 hairpins perform each year. Nor
should the safety pins" be overlooked. There
were 23G, 200 500 of them. What infantile
walls were by their use avoided. How many
masculine "gallus buttons" were by them re-
placed, Of truth, before such statistics one
is lost in wonder. love and praise" More than
161 100000 needles; more than I,200ooooo0
pins, Were Gargantua an ostrich, what feast
they would make for him. Talk about needles
and pins in connection with the beginning OF
mans troubles? Why. it is with them that we
begin first to get a glimpse of mans industry
and might. Seven billion pins year. 1t Is
the apotheosis OF mcrocosmic utility!