The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-06-13

i
macy; the pointed nose, vicious tenn
permanent; the capacious mouth, volubil-
lity; the square chin denotes trouble for
those who oppose her wishes; the eyes
show hardness Of heart" -,
! Wonderful, truly. wonderful, profess
sOr," interrupted the small man.
:You evidently know something of the
lady, then?" said the professor.
Sure. replied the small man; "she is
my wife. '-Chicago Daily News.
1.-THE last time I saw you," said d
woman who called on an Atchison wonl-
an yesterday, "you were coming back
from the altar a bride, with your arms
| full of lilies, and now you are carrying
two babies and broom" -Atchison
Globe.
A well-known undertaken of this city,
who is always busy, was called upon the
other day to prepare body for burial
Having another job on hand, he ordered
gagged to prepare the body for interment
About three or four days after the flu
neral. the undertaken was surprised
when his assistant said:
Say, boss what for do dey. put Il
silver dollah in dat dead mans hand?"
why, don't you know, Rastus? That
is to pay the dead mans ferriage across
the River Jordan the boss returned.
On hearing this. the colored man be-
gan to look serious, and said:
so dar's no bridge across dat river,
boss?''
no: why do you ask?''
"Well, dat fellah'll babe to swim
across de Jordan, for I done gone and
pinched dat dare dollah." -Philadelphia
Evening Telegraph.
Mother-Don't you think you deserve
a whipping for being naughty?
Son-Yes, nav, but
Mother-But what?
sol-But,, l don't like to hurt your
feelings.-Cincinnati Commercial Trb-
une.
A belated traveller, who was compelled
to stay all night in a backwoods cabin,
says that soon after the frugal supper
of ''sody biskits'' and fried 'side meat -
tall, ,gaunt; youth, Of about IS and an
equally sallow and gaunt girl of II, both
barefooted, took their hats from wooden
pegs in the wall and prepared to go out,
whereupon their mother, taking her pipe
from between her yellow teeth, said re-
proyingly:
Go long an wash your feet, Levi,
you an Looly both! Haint you 'shamed
to to 60 off to an: an s eyenin' party without
They obeyed, but as Levi took the
washpan from bench by the door he
said. with grumble:
I'D bout as soon stay home from a
marty as to have to fix up so for hit!'-
Detroit Free Press.
ut would be helpful to you,'' said the
prison visitor, If you could take some
motto and try to live up to it,
"That's right replied the convict.
n ~ ol,<.4 f@,
here today and gone tomorrow Tit
Bits.
A worthy man, who was very sensitive
and retiring, having lost his wife, pri-
vately requested that he might be re-
membered in the minister's morning
PRAYER from the pulpit, but asked that
his name might not be mentioned
On Sunday morning the good minister
brother, upon whom the heavy hand of
sore atfiiction has SO lately fallen.''
At this point an elderly man, whom the
minister had married to a very young
and stamped down the aisle, muttering
loud enough to be heard all over the
chapel:
1T may be an affection, but I'm
blessed if l want to be prayed for in
that fashion. london Spare Moments.
| -:O:"
Shingled.-"Harold,I must have your
hair shingled," observed the fond mother
as she curled the little fellows golden
enuf: roof?" asked the youngster limo
cently.-Ohio State Journal.
The telephone has new terror for au-
thors. Henry Edward Rood. author Of
HardWicke," which the Harpers have
just published, was ''called up"~ the other
day by, an unknown feminine reader Of
sible for .Hardwicke,'' to Which Mr..
Roo, pleaded gniity: ,".Well, Wien did
you live IN -? said the voice over the
promptly. "What! Never lived in --?"
came the sceptical answer. "That's very
strange, as as you've described our church
everybody has recognized him! And you
say you never lived in. -? Humnhi
Eery stra3nge! I don't believe you. :
."Oh." exclaimed the camel, elevating
n ms PACK *. a few inches n higher. 'these
came over in the Mayfower. I'd have
them know that mine came over in The
| ark.'-Yonkers Statesman.
Julian Ralph remarks in the New York
Mail and Express that he seldom thinks
Of balbers without recalling Joke which
he regards as the funniest of American
witticisms. For wit, for unexpectedness.
for condensation and incisiveness. and
for the moral it conveys he holds it to
be the funniest of the many funny things
which the late Phil WEIGH invented. It
is this: Barber-Shall go over the chin
again? Customer-No, please don't. I
think can remember all that you have
said.
Progress keeps everlastingly at it. The
latest is tailors' measurements by pho
Biography. Hope somebody will devise
a method of settling with the tailor by
invisible money or moneyless remittance.
|-Pittsburg Press.
! Senator Penrose and Senator Black
! burn were walking through the capitol.
Two pretty, red-cheeked country girls
passed.
! Blackburn. ''They were very pretty
| Yes" answered Penrose, "they were
the kind We, ,Philadelphians call brown
'Brown-sugar girls?''' repeated