Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1902-07-31
NO NICKEL, NO CALL.
DISADVANTAGE OF ONE PARTY
LINE TELEPHONE.


When There We're P,irglars in the
House and the owner Wanted Con-
nection with Police Headquarters.
There is one man in Washington who
Is the sworn foe of the telephone com
pany. lie declares that while it is true
that corporations have no souls, and
he is, therefore, barred from invoking
pcrdton on the head of the company,
ne would cheerfully cOnsign the di-
ractors and stockholders of the con
Germ to the uttcrmost limbo Of the
Inferno. He has not yet cooled down
sufficiently to tell the reason for his
lcud in coherent fashion, but from
other sources equally as authentic the
cause of the trouble is learned.
Mr.. Subscriber has telephone in
his house. 1t is one of these three-or-
four On-the-line affairs. and YOU have
to drop nickel in the slot to get
action. Central is always particular
about the nickel. one night last week
Mrs. Subscriber, who is light sleeper,
beard a noise IN the house. 1t was
me of those stealthy, creepy, noise
less noises that suggest missing silver,
stolen watches, and sometimes muir
der She is courageous woman, and
she made certain that her ears did not
deceive her. Then she screamed. Mr..
Subscriber woke with start, but was
still bit foggy. Another scream.
What's the natter" asked the mas
ter of the house.
Burglars! Don't you hear them?
Murder! Help! Burglars! Policew
Mr. Subscriber leaped up and ran to
the door of the room. He saw a man
hustling down the stairs He ran back
md proceeded to put on his trousers.
Then he hunted for a match, but his
not find one until he had ransacked
nearly every room on the upper floor,
and finally located one in the bath
room. He lit the gas and looked at his
watch and found that it was half-past
2. He ran to the telephone, and told
sleepy Central that there were bur-
glars In the house, and he wanted po-
lice headquarters in order that the
bluecoatS might be warned In time to
capture the maraudcrs. Wouldn't Cen
trail please hurry?
Put in your nickel" said Central.
Il haven't a bit Of change, not a
thing less than a dollar bill Charge
me up with a nickel-a dollar-ten dol
lars. Do anything, but just give me
police headquarters"
We'll, I'm sorry" said Central in a
manner both deliberate and sympa-
thetic, but you will have to put a
nickel in the slot before 1 can give
rou headquarters. That's the rule, you
know
But don't you see how it is" plead
ed Mr.. Subscriber. Burglars in the
house. | saw 'em. Police! Help!
Say, charge me up with anything. I've
got all kinds Of money except nickels.
Hurry up, do. The women in the
house are nearly frantic"
This appeal was not without its in
huence "a Central, who said: I'll call
the chief operator After what seem
ed an endless time voice came over
the phone:
This is the chief operator. What is
it,"
Mr. Subscriber stated his case again,
saying that he could hear the spoons
pnt N a
would be looted before the police
could leave the station. The chief
operator listened attentively-at least
she didn't interrupt Then she asked
Sweetly:
well, you know we can't let you
have the number unless you put in
the nickel except in case Of an emer.
gcncy call. Now, is this an emergency
call?"
My God, woman" said Mr.. Sub
Scriber Two o'clock in the morning
-burglars-spoons stolen-saw EN-
myself, burglars | mean-folks faint
lug no nickel. or course, this is al
emergency call This last he fairl!
shrieked.
He got headquarters and the polio,
came out in few minutes, but founC
no burglars, although they made the
comforting assurance that there hat
undoubtedly been some there. Thi:
romment however, failed to appeasC
MIR. Subscriber, who now swears tina
le will get even with the telephon,
company.
MAKERS OF TOMAHAWKS.