The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1902-11-28
EZRA'S GREAT BARN.
BY HORACE SEYMOUR KELLER.

1t was lofty, grand, imposing, and obscur-
ing as we'll; for the fine stretch of land
scape was entirely blocked away from the
vision when it doomed up in all its vast
ness.
"'Ez' must ha' struck lie"
'Er busted Monter Carrier bank"
"Er won prize in the lottery
"Er sold his wheat at the right time"
(Which 'Ez' didn't do nuthin' O. the
Sort" broke in the quiet voice of Perkins,
as he leaned over his counter and cast his
eyes upon the cheap-cash-and- barter-store
animated fixtures of gossip, lies, scandal and
vindictiveness. "'Ez' Spriggins didn't do
nuthin' O. the sort. He jest" Then Per-
kins paused to note the effect of his words;
the effect caused disturbance all along the
row. 'Ez' Spriggins got the stuff fur
buildin' his big barn from Morgan"
Good Lord Hen Morgan hain't got
huff stuff ter furnish pullet's perch"
"T'other Morgan-P. Morgan, the bank.
er" And then Perkins went back to his
desk to tote up the score and laugh as the
gossips went out, wondering why the great
banker should help "Ez" Spriggins raise the
biggest barn in Spikeville. But Perkins
didn't tell them that it was only little joke
of his; nor did he mention the fact that
Spriggins' daughter Susan had written a
book for which she got $1,000 But Perkins
loved his gossips-though he liked to wrap
them in mystery Every likely Jed Sprout
took three pulls at tibet cider barl-so up
goes Jed's terbacker score. On caliker er
sugar er tea he'd kick like a mule if I'd put
it thur; but man never kicks on his ter
hacker score. Lie Slocum, don't doubt,
took plug O. navy from the box when he
came up from the cellar. Down goes 20 cents
on Lies liniment score. If put it inter
his regular grocery bill he'd have fit; but
liniment for rheumatic is pus nal count
tibet Lies family never sees. Abb Jones
I'll swar lifted ha'f dozen bloaters from
tibet box-purty dear bloaters, Alb, purity
dear bloaters! Fifty cents goes gin We,
ABB on yer terbacker score. Think I'm
purity pore bookkeeper, Ell? l guess mott"
If the building of the big barn disturbed
the Spikeville gossips and furnished food
for talk as they held down nail kegs in Per-
kins' cheap-cash-and-barte store, the paint
ing, furnishing it with stalls for horses and
stanchions for cattle-to say nothing of the
necessary enlargement of the stock-both-
cred Ezra Spriggins morning, noon and
night. Susan had another book on hand,
but it would not be ready until fall.
Mandy, can't We take few boarders to
help the barn 'long?" asked Ezra, one morn
ing, as he stood on the porch looking at the
great big affair across the road.
"P'raps-but faint likely We'll do it.
Most O. the fuss keepin' 'em falls on to a
woman's pore weak shoulders" responded
Mandy.
Il reckon that's so, Mandy; but I'm
leetle pinched bout paintin' an furnishin'
the barn"
II tole We ye'd be sorry that We ever
un'took it, Ezra. Yes l did; We know I
laid wake night after night tellin' We bout
it."
eyes, l rec'lect it; I'll never furgit them
nights sighed Spriggins, as he stepped to
the fence, crossed his arms upon the top
board, and studied the white elephant be-
fore him.
A dapper young chap came sauntering up
the road, whistling a ragtime melody and
shipping blades of grass with slender cane.
''Ah, neighbour he said, as he reached
the thin figure leaning upon the fence.
"Howdy, stranger!"
''Big thing on ice, that barn. Heard about
it as landed in Spikeville. Heard it was
the greatest thing in barn structures in
the county"
Biggest barn in four counties-dummit!
I'm sick O. the cussed kritter."
Kind of sailed all your ready plunks
building it, Ell? Needs painting to give
it an ornate and finished look Why not
make the barn pay for all that it needs
pay for building it, as well as put tidy
sum in the bank to your credit?'
"Who be you, young MANI" asked Ezra,
as he gazed questioningly upon the sharp
pointed chin, the bright eyes, the promi-
nent nose, and curledsup straw-colored mus
tache before him.
Especial wandering correspondent for The
Alert, the leading society paper of the blue
bloods and 400 in Manhat'. There are others
of the sort, but there is but one The Alert.
The 400 live and die by what we say We
lead the fashion and make things popular
kill things as well. We started the golf,
ping pong, auto affair, and Panama hat
craze. I've got an idea that can arrange a
nice galaxy of first-class people that'll make
the barn hum. I'll agree to fill your barn
with folks loaded with the long green"
"But the fodder, the beds, the lights, an
an lot"
Don't mention them. I'll just write up
a corker about the benefit of pure air and
so on. Suppose you've got good crop of
potatoes, turnips, cabbages and onions on
your soil? Have? Good I'll work that
vegetarian diet biz to standstill. Got
plenty of hay? Have? I'll show the good
people that there is nothing like clean hay
for beds. Beds of the ordinary sort are
unhealthy, anyhow. Besides, sleeping on
fresh hay is good for the complexion and
all that sort of thing. No light like moon
light. I'll stake you for lumber to put stalls
for the good"
Goodness
eyes, stalls where they can sleep in. It'll
be unique and catchy, sort of going back to
the primitive style, you know.
''Is it go?"
''Dummit it, sail I'M"
And Ezra Spriggins' barn became so popu-
lar that season, the diet SO satisfactory, the
hay touches SO pleasing, that he salted down
enough plunks to build two barns for next
season, also booked $50 blue bloods to occ-
py them. The special correspondent made
big pile also-and got Susan in the bargain.
N. Y. Times
A Child Bishop.
A curious custom formerly prevailing On