Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1902-12-18

comes out there was mighty prom
isin'-lookin' dark cloud over toward
the western horizon.
'Jizzerin' jacksnipel" says old 81
There's the storm I've been wantin
to try my battery on. I'll have to
hustle home.
"They do say it took Sis mare
three weeks to recover from the lar
rupin' she got on the way home. 81
druy her straight to the hilltop,
where he had his guns planted,
| jumped out, lit match, and in less n
half a minute he was pluggin' away
at them clouds as fast as he could
get from gun to gun.
"None too soon, either. They were
very full of business, them clouds
that .Jabez witched up with his
weather guns, and before 81 could
puncture 'em some of the rain and
hail fell on his grapes.
"'Not enough to do any harm,
though says 81. BY the Great Bob
Tailed Straddlebug, says he-Si prid-
ed himself on his command of new
cuss words, whether diagonal,
straight or kitty-cornered-'that's
grand invention, that cloud buster of
mine. I'll write letter to the Buck
aloo County Whooperloo, he says,
in praise of the United States agger-
cultural department, right now. And
while I'm dom it, he says, I'm watch
out for more storms, for that one
come up mighty quick
over on his hilltop Uncle Jabez
Boneset was mighty disguised be-
cause the rainstorm he'd conjured up
never reached the hum plate. Natur-
ally, he heard Sis battery operatin',
but he didn't figure on tibet amount
in to anything.
Tibet old perrynoyack," says he,
usin' word which he'd Just dug out
Of a medical work, he's probably out
shootin' mosquitoes instead of poi
sonin' em to death with kay-rosene,
which is the progressive way. I'm
sorry for him. he says. Tomorrow
I'll git up a rainstorm that'll discour-
age his shootin and save him pow
der
so next day he loaded up and per-
duced an able-bodied cloud which 81
Beetle on his hill immejitly perfor
ated. Uncle Jabez tried another. 81
made bull's-eye.
Uncle Jabez banged out two
storms, northwest and southwest. |
81 did a double-barrelled trick and |
both of 'em died inside the bound
aries
NOW, you can monkey with ma
ture just so far and then she breaks
loose and rips things, and what hap
pened this time was that the high 7
pressure and low pressure got ia
tally mixed, and one able-bodied ey-
clone started down Sis hill and met
another able-bodied cyclone from
Jabez's elevation.
"Bein' unable to remain behind 81
went along with his cyclone and Ja-
Dez accompanied his. Talk about
pergessivenessi As l said before
both of the old men was progressive,
put they never progressed tibet fast
before or since.
First thing either of 'em knew
hey was butin heads like two old
ans in the bottom of the valley.
Then says Jabez Boneset TO 81
}eezle
Did you shoot up my Storm
Was tibet your storm?' says ST.
1t certainly was says Jabez. Il
'rung it to help my melons, he
ays. It's a twentieth century no.
ion that you'll learn If you live ten
'ear more, maybe
IAN you never took thought Of
ny grapes, says 81.
IAN old fogy like you got no
BUSINESS raisin' grapes says my
Jncle Jabez, unless he knows how
o perfect EN-
Then you done it, says Jabez,
cry savage.
~ did, thet,' says 81, quite indie
,endent.
I'm hand you corl1screw
lunch, says Jabez.
"'And I'll lam your solo Pegasus .
i'll you couldn't tell it from a last
ears tometter can says 81.
"'With that they went at it. The
rst pair of cyclones was bad 1
nough. but they was summer I
ephyrs compared with the article
hat the combined fightin' powers ]
4 my Uncle Jabez Boneset and old 1
! Beetle turned out. 4
after half an hour of it Jabez
ras lynn with his feet in the creek I
nd 81 was Topped up against tree. 1
ST. says Jabez, are you lickedY
I dunno says 81. Are you?'
No. says Jabez; but I'd hate to
e any nearer than I am
SO would l, says 81. Have you '
'ot any good new, warranted paw !
ent liniments that you could recon- {
lend?'
I've got 'em, plenty Of EN- saws !
abez, but I couldn't recommend
I'M. What l pine for is some good.