Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-02-20
A journalistic Othello's Occupation
Gone.

The usually festive and joyous Burling-
ton News had W editorial fits in rapid
succession in it's last issue. In view of the
somewhat incoherent and illogical utter
ances of the sufferer in these two cdi-
torials of striking dissinilarity in style
and substance it is difficult to trace the
connection between some of the causes to
which it refers and the alleged effects.
AS nearly as can be learned the neighbor
seems to have been overwhelmed by two
waves of oleaginous thought. s~uperinduCel
by a quotation without of a
Washington correspondents interview
with a well-known resident of Vernon
preliminary to the ~latter's return to this
State.
The %neighbor is certainly deserving of
commiseration, and if it is unusually err
ratio durlng the coming few weeks. we hope
the friends will deal considerably with
the wandering one. 1t seems that the
News sent its own special commissioner
to watch the testing of the new anti. oleo
weapon on the banks of the Potomac. and
when the verdict of the proving board
was received commencing the improve
ments, the News was able to extract great
consolation from the result, having dis
covered that it was the same old Grout
gun. The weapon had a new barrel and
a new stock and a new trigger. to D.
sure. hut still in the n%eighoor's estimation
it could be easily identified.
1t had the original ramrod.
Having found the new anti-oleo gun SO
promising as to be deserving of commen-
dation, and even of the old name. in spite
of the changes made. the News procee ded
to pat on the back all who had taken a
hand in fashioning 1t or holding the ram
rod, as well us those who might later on
help to do the polishing. The world at
once took on its most rosy tints, and as
the neighbor frequently looked out of its
window and across the street, the sun
beams and shadows seemed to dance with
ever-increasing beauties about the mary
architecture of the Burlington postofice.
Suddenly something happened. Whether
some one slipped a new screen in that
window, which cast a shadow across tho
street, or whether some careless employee
sent a monkey wrench through the print
ing press. is of course a secret OF the
sanctum. 1t is barely possible that the de-
sort!on of the anti-oleo cause by one of
Its champions forced the neighbor 10 face
the possibility of foregoing both butter
and oleo in the present campaign and
falling back upon the adhesive goose
grease as a lubricant for its political
sandwiches. Certain ii Is that the con-
temporary has become desperate beyond
the point of consecutive thought and
logical statement.
The News would now have 1t understood
that while every thing was running as
smoothly in Washington as II things had
been creased for the occasion, some wick
ed newspaper man %playfully sprinkled a
tack In front of the NTH wheel of the
Vermont congressional coach, which had
declined longer to run on its original axle,
and punctured the double tubed pneu-
matte tire thereof, This caused the entire
procession to halt, delaying business in
both branches OF Congress as well as in
all the departments, and while the Yer
mont coach was being di~sentangled some
one tempered with the anti.oleo gun.
Under the circumstances the News is
sick and tired Of the whole thing. 1t
thinks the new gun Is defective and / it does
not care to have the weapon called by the
old name. What is more,it can prove that
the present weapon is not the old Grout
gun,
Somebody has spliced the ramrod.
In the meantime it would appear from
our Washington correspondence printed
this morning-which, by the way, the