The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1902-06-18
CLIMBING THE JULY GRADE.


A Spartanburg lawyer stepped into
the office OF the master In equity.
"Mr. Master" he said, care you ready
to pay out that money in Doe against
ROe?"
"No," the master replied,-"can,t
pay u a copper till the court issues
an order"
"Well', sighed the lawyer, "that's
mighty bad newe. ] depended on that
little fee to get me over the July
grade"
We've mean most of us--are at the
July Grade" This year the grade
has been changed. advanced. We
arrived at the grade two or three
weeks ago.
The "July grade" is that dry time of
the year when money hides. In these
parts 1t m every year-when the
last little rivulet and fountain from
which a dollar may be dipped up seems
to have disappeared. 1t is the time
when one fees from his brother man,
taking it for granted that he is collect
ing water rents or has q deadly tele-
phone bill concealed on his person.
1t is that out-of-joint annual period
when il you are a doctor or a tailor or
newspaper man you dare not present a
bill to any fellow citizen and when
you, being a humane person, would not
If you dared, 1t is the time when O
see your overdraft flourish like q
gourd-vine and you seek to borrow
ward. That trip is a great help. Your
doctor, if he is a good doctor, says it's
absolutely necessary. You go and
come home improved You praise the
climate but the doctor knows that YOU
have gained two pounds q day because
you have not had to fight the bill col
lector. He knows you have managed
to dodge the July grade.
ut must be mighty pleasant, said
an old gentleman here some years ago,
with deep s%olemnity, "to live close TO
the North Pole"
"Why?" he was asked.
because when a collector hands you
a little bill in the morning you can tell
and you'll pay it-and the days are six
months long there.."
We have all to climb this July grade
and it seems sleeper this year than
ever before. Last week O friend of
THE ADVERTISER wandered into the
Office and paid three dollars. He was
one of our old reliable subscribers, as
safe as a bank but he had fallen a little
behind. He paid a long time in ad-
vance last week. 1t was the strangest
action we have ever heard of for the
time of year. Now and then q man
pays one dollar in the summer but,
think of 1T, this gentleman paid three
on subscription in June. We shall
never get entirely over it. If others
of our subscribers contemplate follow
ing his example, we hope they will not
approach the subject abruptly. When
they come into the Office, let them lead
up to it gently, drop a few hints and
first suggest paying twenty five cents.
Then let them raise their figures, if
they wish, to fifty. In ten minutes
they may suggest handing us a dollar
and after half an hours chat about
trade and collections and potato bugs,
crops and politics, we may be pre-.
pared to accept the three without
%swooning. In this way, the benevo-
lent subscriber may doubly favor us.
To throw three dollars at us at this
season is to overwhelm us beyond the
point of acute enjoyment but when the
subscriber plays with the paying pro-
cess and slowly and surely we see his
ideas grow bigger, we have time to
gloat and thrill properly.
The esteemed water rent man, the
telephone man, also the PASTORS salary
man, need not fatter themselves about
the three dollars referred to. They
are too late. The money was paid last
week and while three dollars will Gu
a world Of good works in these days, it
can't last always. In fact it has de
parted. Speaking of water rent, a
friend tells us that they threaten to
cut off his supply. We have advised
to let them cut it of. Perhaps he can
connect with the dispensary.
HOWSOmeyer we'll all climb this
July grade. We always do. Let's dis
miss the thoughts Of 1T. They are
painful. In October the cotton will
begin TO roll in abundantly and black
berry pies will come meanwhile,--since
Il has rained.