The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-12-09


Biggz-I understand Mrs. Strongmind
married her husband TO reform him
Boggs-Reform him? OF what? Biggs
He used TO be = regular brute to his
first wife--Judge.
The fools are not all dead yet" said
the angry husband I'm glad OF IT
dear" calmly replied the other half OF
the combination. Il eve did look we'll
in black.'-ChiCago News
with ali his money Andrew Car
negie can't buy . we'll stomach"
We'll. 1 think II ! had all his money
I'd be willing to take a lot OF dyspepsia
along with it." That shows you lever
had it.'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss Gotrox-The idea Of Jour pro-
TO me! Why, l never gave yOu
any encouragement! Mr.. Poorman-
Tou forgot that you, once informed me
that you had half a million In your own
right.-Chicago News.
Senator Hanna says that this Session
OF congress will be devoted to ''rou-
tine business" and that no important
new legislation will be attempted. Has
given up the idea of forcing the ship
scheme through al this ses-
,sion?-Sayannah News.
Hey, there," yelled the indignant
,citizen, lodging quickly backward.
You dropped a brick just now that
came within an ace of hitting me on
the head" "Kape it," shouted the
workman on the twelfth floor of the un-
finished skyscraper. We've got plenty
more av' 'em.'-Chicago Tribune.
a new democratic party" has been
organized in the Philippines which de-
lmands that that island be given free
government with legislative bodies
with privilege TO make laws for the
island. The Philippine says to the
Americans Il am good as 0 are
IGaStonia News.
OF course Venezuela will 90 the gace-
full when Germany and England lose
patience, and Uncle Sam is glad to see
After that. if the little sister will be
better and other little sisters like Co
IlOmbia Will heed the example, the time
and money spent will not be wasted
Florida Times-Union.
The Nobel prizes for research are
notably generous. and will undOubted-
ly stimulate investigation in many
fields. Major Ross, of the Liverpool
School of Tropical Medicine, receives
award Of SAC. 900 this year for his
experiments and discoveries in regard
to the transmission Of malariai poison
by mosquitoes. An excellent work fifty
recognized and honOred!-New York
Tribune.
1t is said that of the go, 900 men in
Chicago enrolled in the ranks of union
labor none is idle except an inconsider-
liable few who are either on strike or
sick. Nobody out there recalls a time
when like conditions prevailed. And
from all the populous centers of the
Ioountry come similar reports of the en-
of labor I'D to the limit or
the supply. and in not a few instances
there are demands for labor that can
mot be filled at all.--New York Com
Imercial.
"Ordinarily." says the mar with the
big whiskerS. II am a peaceful citizen"
Here he draws a huge revolver from
his pocket. pieces it beside his plate
and resumes: But 1 intend that this
shall be one Thanksgiving Day when
my placid reflections shall not be mar.
Ired by some idiot who gets off that
Ialleged bon-mOt about Turkey, China,
Iand Greece" At this the wit of the
clearinghouse was seen to tremble
Violently and TO refuse a second help
ing of the dressing.-Judge.
Though Philadelphia is net in the
volcanic belt, it is subject to subterra-
mean commissions of a sufficient terribly
ing character, which are not any the
less unpleasant because they are I'M
necessary and a~voidable. The repeated
explosions of gas in the telephone con-
lduits and other underground works are
di~Screditable to the engineering skill
employed in these constructions. The
collection of water in manholes, suffic-
lent to drown a workman. may not be
the engineers fault, but they certainly
are remiss in the neglect or sufficient
precautions against the accumulation
of gas, from which SO many disturb
ing accidents occur. The public IS
sufficiently Inconvenience by the lay
ing of the conduits. They ought to be
so laid that they will not abruptly rise
up again.-Philadelphia Ledger.