davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

Flattery has bought more souls than
gold.
The cheapest way to get notoriety
II to be an 1S-karat fool.
Sermons are made to be preached:
stories to be listened to.
Goodness 10 measured BY the op-
portunities 1t does not have to Ds
something else.
It takes only will power to face
your mother-in-law. but 1t takes heroic
fortftude to love her pets.
The man who works with his
brains does 1t by making other people
work for him with their hands.
1t takes good deal more clever
ness for a girl to blush at the right
than not to at the wrong time.
When q girl refuses to give man
she Is flirting with her photograph,
1t 10 sign 1t does not natter her.
What could have been the use Of
Ewes wearing clothes when there
were no other women to be Jealous
of them?
You can never make . woman un-
uerstand tnat man VINO isn't a1rald
Of = mouse can feel any different
about q burglar.
You can always make q woman be-
lieve you love her II you can keep on
saying It without letting her see how
tired It makes you to do 1t.
It takes . woman to let q man look
her over as II she were piece OF
statuary and pretend she didn't know
he was in the same room with her.
After . woman discovers what kind
Of hair the heroine in . novel has
she can hardly wait until she comes
to the description Of her pearly teeth.
A woman's idea Of mans being IN
public life Is when he comes home
late and can't remember the next
morning which meeting he told her
he was the principal speaker at
New Xork Press.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

A criminal II 4 man who is found
out.
1t takes '"rocks" to make q man
solid. f.
The millionaire's chief end 10 the
dividend.
The henpecked husband doesn't
crow about it.
One week in the country makes one
strong in the city.
There are q good many ''also rams"
In the human race.
Homemade bread is responsible for
many . crusty temper.
A man looks anything but merry
when the laugh is on him.
Bad habits grow with much less
cultivation than good ones.
A man has to have . pretty hard
cheek to travel on his face.
The man who is looking for trouble
can nnd trouble without trouble.
Some people would rather talk
about hard times than go to work.
A fool and his money never have
70 seek far for grounds for divorce.
The fellow who has money to burn
never bothers with nre insurance.
The bargain hunters favorite hymn
saould be the sweet buy and buy"
IT'S funny that = politician becomes
- hanger-on after he loses his grip.
II sometimes happens that the
grumpy doctor has the most patients.
It's only natural that the man who
II perpetually short should bs looked
down on.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
West Indian Eruptions.

Sir Norman Lockyer writes to the
Times of London that the terrible cat
astrophea OF Martinique and st. Vim
cent occurred at time Of minimum
of solar spots, and that his investiga-
tions lead him to the result that such
disasters for the past seventy years
occur at critical instants in the sun
spot cycle. Such critical instants, 1t
will be remembered, occur every five
and one-half years on the average.
The results of comparison Of two
curves, one of disasters, the other of
sun-spot frequency, should be received
applied to the United States Census
maps Of 1870 it is easy to prove that
illiteracy In the United States varies
inversely as the rainfall, which would
be interesting If true. Unfortunately
other census maps do not bear out the
conclusion. Condolences Of the sort
should be noted. but until we can pre-
dict future disasters by their use. we
should hold them as accidental. An
other coincidence may be here set
down. The Martinique disaster oc-
CURED at the epoch of new moon and
therefore Of a maximum lunar tide.
Are we. therefore, to conclude that
eruptions and earthquakes occur more
frequently at such epochs? This was
for many years supposed to be the
case. but the researches of Montessus
de Ballore have completely disproved
it. Volcanic phenomena are, in all
probability, essentially local. II they
depend on variations Of solar energy
the dependence is. 1t would seem, not
likely to be so simple and direct a.
the sun-spot hypothesis demands.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
HE KNEW A SURE THING.
Sporting Man Willing to Take Advent.
ace Of n Clneh,

0PVTktHS WeU vvutu8 ~ pANW 60v1Ups
age Of clneh.
In the aftermath of convention
stories comes one Of = well known
politician whose facility for making
resolutions and breaking them Is we'll
known, says the New York MAIL and
Express. After each lapse into the
drinking habit his remorse is deep and
earnest. He fell from grace ON the
last day OF the convention, but man
aged to retain his faculties to the ex-
tent of finding his way to the depot
in Saratoga, boarding the New York
train. and. crawling into his sleeping
car berth. but without the formality
of taking on his clothes.
Just before reaching New York he
slowly awoke and surveyed the sit
uation through cloud OF remorse
Slowly the depth Of his latest lapse
burst upon him, and rs he did SO his
horror found vet in expression.
Great Scott!" he whispered
hoarsely. I'll bet dollar was drunk
last night"
Say. old fellow" came the answer
from an upper berth. put ten ON that
for me. will you? It's cinch."
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Leno.,t L.tt.r on Record.

A former Philadelphia. who is now
In business In Chicago and who has
been spending a portion Of his vaca-
tion with old friends here. wrote let
ter the other day to chum In the
Windy City that surely breaks the
record for lengthy letter writing. He
had promised to write "a good. long
letter." 80 he procured coil Of thin
white tape paper, such as is used by
the telegraph companies on their tick
ing machines, and proceeded to work.
writing q single line lengthwise on the
tape from the beginning clear through
to the little wooden center. The let
ter was in the neighborhood Of $50
feet long.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
SHE TOOK NO CHANCES.
This Little Girl Utterly Refused 70
o. ~ Name Satan.


o. ~ Name Satan.
Mrs. C. was horrifed to discover
that her little 7-year-old daughter was
acquiring the habit of alluding very
freely to the devil. and at last she told
her determinedly that q repetition of
the obnoxious word would bring se-
we're punishment.
The child knew that her mother
was in earnest. SO she set seal on
her lips. At last she seemed to have
forgotten 1t, but one Sunday Mrs. c..
who had been too i'll to go to church.
asked her II she could tell what the
minister had preached about in his
sermon.
"Oh, yes'm," she answered: che
preached about our Lord going up into
the mountain and being tempted by
by-by the gentleman who keeps he'll! "
She didn't intend to run any risks
of being bunished.-Lippincott'a.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
MUCH NOISE; LITTLE LIGHT.
How Lincoln Regarded Editorial Grit
Icism Of His Actions.

How Lincoln Regarded Editorial Crit
lcism Of His Actions.
One OF the New York city papers
engaged in violent editorial denuncia-
tion of Lincoln the day following the
issuing OF the Emancipation Procla-
nation. To learn the Presidents at
titude with regard to this castigation,
the representative Of another daily
newspaper called on him. Lincoln
gave NO direct reply. but told a story
of a traveller who lost his way In
wilderness. When darkness came, he
was still seeking the right path. Up
came thunder storm that was sim
ply terrifying. The traveller was glad
for the oc :asional flashes Of lightning;
for they served to guide him; but the
thunder becsme louder and heavier
until he was scared. He at last
dropped on his knees and prayed as
follows:
20 Lord! II it be all one to You.
please give me more light and less
noise!"
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
ALL NE WAS WAITING Fon.
Dying Mans Empha.:s Declaration
That He Was Ready.

That He Was Ready.
One day during the recent session
the Senate did not meet at noon. The
hands OF the clock were at least
three minutes past the hour Of IL
when the chaplain lifted his voice in
the opening prayer. And all because
Senator Frye was telling story to
the preacher.
when 1 was up In Maine recently" !"
said Mr.. Frye. Il was summoned to
prepare a will for a man who was
very Ill. 1t was necessary. Of course.
to secure two Witnesses, and they
had to be sent for. While we were
waiting for them to arrive the man
seemed to get worse. and l thought
1t my duty. no minister being present,
to talk seriously to him. told him
that he was very Ill and that 1t was
likely he would soon depart this life.
"'And are you ready to meet the
great changer asked him.
81 will be- was the reply. as soon
as those ID witnesses get here.
-Washington Post.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Good Chimes. s.ylnu.

The Chinese have many beautiful
proverbs. During the recent trying
times in China. Minister WI. that
country's representative in the Unit
ed States. was observed to be very
calm and undisturbed, and was asked
the reason. II suppose there is
much to be worried about" he said;
.but there is proverb of my people
which find of use when things go
wrong. 1t runs: I'VE cannot prevent
the birds of sorrow from flying over
our heads. but we can refuse to allow
them to build their nests in our hair. 7"
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
New Variety of sunf,oxsr.

A German florist has produced
new variety Of sunhower which he
calls the Giant Bismarck, or Helian.
thus Annuus Bismarckiensis. That it
ia q giant is evident from the photo
graph. The stalk is fifteen feet high
and four inches thick and flowers
measure eighteen inches across. To
obtain these results 1t Is necessary to
SOW the seeds In groups Of two or
three where the plants are wanted
for the sunfiower does not stand trans
planting-destroy all but the strong
est of each group of plants. and when
this is about hve feet high cut OF the
lower leaves and buds and SO throw
all the strength Of the plant into the
crown.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
RURAL LITERARY NOTES.

Fame comes to many late in life
5ust like that $40 the other fellow
owes you.
Many Of our leading authors have
quit the writing business and gone to
work for living.
While splitting rails the other day
our leading poet severely sprained
both his hands. and now he cannot lift
. glass Of ''moonshine" to his lips
without assistance.
When an editor strikes would-be
writer over the head with literary
club. 1t frequently happens that liter
ature runs In that mans head ever
after.-Atlanta Constitution.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Valuable Folklore Collection.

v. l. Jocelson, one of the explorers
of the American Museum Of Natural
History, has arrived at Moscow on his
return to New York. Mr.. Jocelsou has
been making ethnographical studies
and collections in the Amur and va
koust territories for two years. He
was especially fitted for this task by
an earlier residence Of several years
in the Yakoust political settlements.
He returns with valuable folklore and
linguistic materials, notably on the
Ukaghire and the koriaks.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Boast Worth Maxine,

Frank Jones, the millionaire brewer
and ex-congressman, who is dead at
Portsmouth. N. H.. entered that town
forty years ago with peddler's pack
Of tinware and died the richest man
there. his estate amounting to about
$15,00O.OO0. 1t was. always his boast
after he became a brewer that he
never made anything but good, hon.
est ale" Mr.. Jones was elected may
or twice and on each occasion gave
his entire salary to charity.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Ml.. LlxIna.tons At 1oz.

The cousin Of the famous African
explorer. DR.. Livingstone, Is still
alive. being 1o7 years old. Miss Kate
Livingstone has fer many years been
a valued domestic in the family Of
Mrs. Fletcher Of Finnish, Isle of Null.
Scotland. who is now taking every
care of the old lady In her declining
years. Her faculties are fast giving
way. her hearing has completely gone,
and for q long time her memory has
failed her.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
omelai Cook Book.

Several thousand copies of an ON
cial cook book for the navy have been
issued by the paymaster-general of the
navy department. The book il bound
in canvas. is eAtitled General Mess
Manual and Cook Book, United States
Navy" and a copy will be placed on
board every vessel in the service. The
new cook book has a number of rules
that must be kept by the men. The
cook may receive no extra pay and
tips are prohibited. The cook can not
strike or resign. Half of the volume
II devoted to recipes alone.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Reckless Chauffeur In Trouble.

Henry L. Blum 4 millionaire silk
dyer of Lodi. N. j.. whose automobile
caused horse to run away last May.
resulting In the doath of Richard
aenches. has been indicted by a grand
Jury on the charge Of perpetrating q
nuisance. His chauffeur, c. J. John
son, has also been indicted. In charg-
ing the jury Supreme Court Justice
Dixon said that If Blum was driving
Lis machine at an excessive rate Of
speed at the time of the accident he
could be indicted for granddaughter
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
A Symptom,

Excuse me-" said the observant
person who had just listened to q
string of talk by an irate man, but
weren't you once = pillar in the
church," Il was." said the irate man
in astonishment. but how did you
guess 1T" ''1 have lived long and
observed closely" said the watchful
citizen, "and never did I meet a man
with your peculiar kind and degree Of
proficiency in the use Of profanity and
blasphemy who had not At one time
been prominent and xealcus in church
work"
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
AUTOMOBILE OUTING
sEArrLE TO SAN FRANCISCO.

Successful ThousAnd-MHs Trip Over
Rough Roads - George carmaek
and His Wife Happy After the
Novel Ride.
George Carmack. the man who discov-
cred the Klondike In 1896, has just COM
pleted the longest and most difficult
automobile trip on record. Carmack,
accompanied by his wife. arrived in San
Francisco the other night from Seattle.
safe, sound and happy, and neither they
nor the machine showed any effects OF
the long trip other than from exposure
to sun and wind, says the San Francis
CO Chronicle. :.
Not an accident of any kind happened:
although the cycle meter showed a run
Of 9S8A miles, and II there was a road
map 1t would show that the machine
went where a two-horse team could
not take wagon.
Mrs. Carmack is as enthusiastic an
automobilist as is her husband. She
laughs often as she talks of their tour,
and is as technical in her language as
the builder of the machine could be.
She knows the machine thoroughly and
says it Is not strange that she does, for
they lived in it for month. The trip
was an outing. They carried their own
tent and provisions and ate and camped
along the road wherever fancy took
them. They left Seattle on August 81,
but Carmack says they were really
travelling only about twenty days.
They were not out for records, and the
highest daily runs were not more than
sixty-five miles.
Some Of the grades were SO heavy"
Carmack said. that the automobile slid
down without the wheels moving. put
on the brake, reversed the lever and
turned the power on SO that we simply
had to slide down. The machine weighs
ton itself. and we had 200 pounds Of
luggage, about 200 pounds Of water, 100
pounds Of gasoline and ourselves, 30
you can,guess how steep the road was"
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Adxantaoaa Of Wealth.

Reginald Vanderbilt, who failed to
receive his diploma with the Yale
academic class of 1902. has been given
a special private examination in law,
the study in which he was deficient.
A rule Of the university allows a spe-
cial examination to be held In stud
ent's home provided he pays the ex-
penses Of an instructor to hold the
same. Several other students who
failed to pass last June have also been
given special examinations.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

The Ice Supply and the Public Health.
In Prof. Sedgwick's recently pub
1ished book on sanitary science, he
summarizes the relations Of the ice
supply to the public health somewhat
~ follows: While 1t is true that some
bacteria survive exposure to freezing
temperatures, such conditions. espe-
cially II prolonged, are highly unfav-
orabie to bacterial life. Water tends
to purify itself by freezing, but the
purincation 10 usually incomplete. A
few bacteria may survive even after
long exposure to low temperature.
Hence too much reliance must not be
placed on the publication Of water by
freezing, especially II the Ice is arti-
flcially made. The practical lesson IL
not to mix ice with food or to put 1t in
drinks. A temperature of between so
degrees and 60 degrees Fahrenheit is
sufhciently low to be refreshing, and
to obtain this degree of cooling 1t is
sufiicient to place vessels containing
the food. etc. in ordinary cold stor-
age.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Cables Laid by Fsrrs.s.

An American inventor of Infinite re-
sources and sagacity has utilized rats
to lay the telephone cables through
the conduits. Several rats were turned
loose In the conduit with ferret after
them, to which was attached q cord.
Through 700 feet Of the conduit the
merry chase was carried, and the rats
emerged into daylight at the other
end just q few feet ahead OF the fer
ret. which was probably impeded some.
what by the cord.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
AdIu.t.b,. Lamp Hanger.

Improvement in the method Of adjust
ing the height OF electric incandesceEt
lamps, though 1t Is very doubtful II
there ID much need for 1t in that ter
ritory. The invention consists of
spring roller arranged to raise and
lower the lamp very much after the
manner in which the ordinary spring
roller curtain is operated.
As shown in the illustration, the
cord II wound on tae under roller,
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
New Theory In Win. culture,

A French investigator, Rosenthiel.
told the Paris Academy of Sciences q
few days ago that he had satisfied
himself that the bouquet Of we'll
known vintage depends less on the
quality OF the grape than the nature of
the yeast which grows on the latter.
The flavor Of some Of the most famous
dairy products has been traced to mi
crobes, and such bacteria are now an
article Of commerce. Should M. Ro-
sensthlel's discovery be corroborated.
says the New York Tribune. the inde.
pendent culture of yeasts for the. wine.
grower may become an important in.
dustry.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Twenty.Pound Cabbage. In Cuba.

~ much as twenty pounds. All vege-
tables do well. Radishes may be eat
en- from fourteen to eighteen days af-
ter sowing. while corn produces three
crops per year. Sweet potatoes are
perpetual. The natives dig up the
tubers, cut them OF and plant the old
vines. which produce a new crop in
three months. All sorts of fruit, hor-
ticu,tural and greenhouse plants and
bulbOus stock are also grown with the
most gratifying success.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Eleetrleally Driven Clock.

In an electrically driven clock, the
combination with the clock train. of
two magnets, one of which is per-
manent magnet and the other an elec.
tro-magnet, the permanent magnet be-
ing adapted to act first upon the train
through limited movement, and the
electro-magnet adapted to act at the
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

field and applied to the stalks a.
shown. The compressor for storing
the air needed to run the cutting tool
may be located on the wagon which
transports the cane, or compressed air
tanks can be located at convenient
intervals throughout the field, to
which sumcient hose is attached to
allow considerable play to the cutting
tool. The latter consist Of cylinder,
carrying o piston and hook to engage
the stalk as it is cut, with handle
by which to manipulate the imple-
ment.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

end Of such movement to restore the
permanent magnet to the beginning Of
its working position.
Newton Harrison, New York, il the
inventor.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

He-Doesn't 1t seem ridiculous, you
know, to call a thing that grows on
land vegetable oyster? She-Not at
all; when you reflect upon the numer1
GUS Holsters that grow on land.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
GOOD TRACK, GOOD TRAINS,
GOOD TIME

In each Of these the New York Cen.
trail is not surpassed, as thousands
will attest. Travellers between the
West and the East will find 1t to their
advantage to use the New York Cen.
trail which. in point Of time, equip
ment. roadbed. dining car service and
scenic attractions is hrst among the
railroads of the world.
Send one cent stamp to George
H. Daniels, General Passenger Agent,
Grand Central Station, New York, for
q copy of the Illustrated Catalogue Of
the New York Centrals "Eour-Track
Series."
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
EJeetrIeIty In Grape Culture.

A Frankfort Journal Of recent date
describes experiments made by Mr.. J.
Fuchs, wine producer Of Elba, in the
use nf elect 'ty In grape culture. He
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

Curss Group, sore throat, pulmonary troa-
blss.-Honarch over pain Of any sort. Dr..
Thomss' Eclectrfc OH.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01
Works Like q spring curtain Roller.


with the connection to the main cir
cult through wires leading to posts on
the side of the bracket. These posts
are In direct contact with the plates
ON the end of the roller by means Of
the two spring tongues secured to the
end of the bracket. The winding de-
vice consists Of coiled spring wound
at the end Of the upper shaft, vhicn IL
geared to the under roller by the
toothed wheel at the right end Of the
upper shaft. The winding drum has
the usual dogs and notched collar to
maintain the lamp in any position. and
by throwing the dogs out of action by
centrifugal force the springs will re-
volve the drum and wind up the cord.
The device is preferably inclosed in
. protecting cover, with an opening in
the bottom for the passage Of the
cord, thus making = neat hanger and
allowing the lamp to be adjusted at
any desired height as easily as win
dow shade may be raised and lowered.
The inventor Is Henry ]. Harrison of
Juneau, Alaska.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

The author wrote, He could not be
forced from the battle field" but It
was printed, He could not be forced
from the bottle hlled."
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

Tom-That horse of Mrs. De Smythe's 9
Naturally: she's an alfalfa widow.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

It's because of their true merit that
head scent cigar.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

Grandpa-t. l.iie. why do you study
people make mistakes.
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

FRS rsrmansntlyCured. Nonts sr nsrvousasss asss>
nfst day use Of DR.. khns's Great Nsrvs RsstoesR-
ksnG Tor FREE $500 trial bottle and trsatass-
The Meeker herald., 1902-11-01

1t Is believed that no animals ever
traverse the region Immediately around
the north pole-not even polecats
, 1902-06-06
CATCHING MiNNOWS AND
CALLING EN- FISH

The Denver Post has ulleaIthed a
big" trout story that will make John
Baltic and other Laramieites smile. 1t
come from the Platte river. and this
is how the Posts young men get it in
shape:
On Tuesday at noon at Dome Rock
a carpenter dropped a line in the
Platte river In a moment there was a
swish and a whirl and a fight began
which lasted n hour and thirty min
utes. At the end of that time the car
penter landed the biggest trout caught
In the stream in recent years. 1t
weighted six and one-half pounds and
measured twenty-four and three-fourth
inches in length.
Conductor St. John brought it in
last night OH a Colorado & Southern
train and it is to day being frozen in,
to acake of ice. 1t will be placed on
exhibition at the Colorado & Southern
ticket Office.
The man who caught the fish was
a Denver carpenter. who was engaged
in work on the pavilion being built at
Dome Rock for the railroad. His name
was unknown to the officials"