The Savannah morning news., 1902-02-09

.e FOur
Once upon a time Senator Elkins had
friend out in New Mexico who want
ed an Office, says the Washington Post.
For three months the aspirant worked
like a beaver. He secured indorse-
ments from everybody who could write,
until he had enough to fill wheelbar-
row. The climax of his work took the
shape of a large volume, with covers
of solid silver and with the corners of
the book and the edges of the leaves
adorned with gold leaf. The pages OF
the book were filled with autographs
collected with great trouble and ex-
pense, each name certifying to the high
character of the applicant
Laden down with his Endorsements,
the office-seeker came to Washington
and deposited his burden at Senator FL
kins' door. The Senator smiled when
he saw it. MY dear fellow" he said,
you don't need all that truck. You
were going to be appointed, anyway"
Instead of being overjoyed, the appli-
cant heaved a deep sigh. Cant l file
my indorsements?" he asked.
"Oh, yes, if you want to-" replied the
Senator
And can't I present this beautiful
gold and silver book to the President"
continued the New Mexican.
1T isn't at all necessary" said Mr..
Elkins.
Senator" remarked the applicant.
'if / don't do something, i cannot go
back home. Every man who signed my
papers has been told that his name was
to be brought to the personal attention
of the President. And every man Will
be sure to ask me what the President
said"
All the papers, including those bound
in the beautiful book, were sent to the
Treasury Department and dumped into
the cellar. The President never saw
them but out in New Mexico the fic-
ton of his personal examination of all
the certificates of good character still
remains cherished belief.
Representative Ketcham of New
York, is deaf. He is not, however, al
ways as deaf as he seems to be.
Yesterday one of his constituents,
who was stranded in Washington,
sought Mr.. Ketcham at the Capitol, to
negotiate a loan. When Mr.. Ketcham
Quoted him to corner of the lobby.
Lend me five dollars" he said, with
his mouth close to Mr.. Ketcham's ear.
"Eh?' said Mr.. Ketcham, as If he
had not heard a word.
Lend me ten," shouted the con-
stituent.
'You said five just now," remarked
| Mr.. Ketcham, waking up.
Senator Dolliver of Iowa, tells a good
campaign story on himself. He was
| making speeches in his congressional
district, when q member of the House,
| and arrived one afternoon at a little
town. When he reached the hotel he
discovered that the proprietor, an old
friend of his, had voluntarily gone to
| Jail rather than pay what he believed
| to be an unjust and illegal tax. The
| hotel-keeper soon learned that Dolliver
was in town and thereupon sent this
note to the sheriff:
| Dear Mr.. Sheriff: Please let me out
of jail for two hours to hear my friend
Dolliver make a speech.
The sheriff" says Mr. Dolliver,
was not only an obliging soul. but
he was not devoid of humor. He sent
an order to the hotel-keeper releasing
him from Jail for two hours to hear me
speak, and then he added: The re-
mainder of your punishment is re-
mitted.'"
Representative Sibley of Pennsylva-
MIA, has beautiful bald pate. 1t shines
with glistening smoothness.
A few days ago a little girl was Wis
iting at Mr.. Sibley's handsome home on
| K street. AS she sat near the con-
| gressman in the library enjoying the
open fire on the big hearth a funny
thought seemed to strike her, for she
| laughed out loud.
Mr.. Sibley," she said presently,
wouldn't you like a rabbit painted ON
| your head?"
Like what?" queried Mr.. Sibley, as
he smiled upon his little visitor.
"A rabbit painted on your head" re-
| peated the youngster.
Why" asked the incautious Sib-
| ley.
Because" said the little one trium-
phantly, "it would look like a hare 4"
!
| The Original Mr.. Snuaera