The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-09-26
THE C. O. D. MAN.
He Relates Some of His Adventures
by the Wayside.


eff you want to find human nature
In the rough. You must take to the
highways said the C. o. D. man as
he was asked to continue his adven-
lures. Now and then in my journeys
up and down and across I have met
people whom I could remember with
pleasure, but my experience is that nine
men out of ten are only a few steps
above the hog. could relate a hundred
instances in confederation. but two CT
three will suffice.
zone night as was sleeping under
haystack on a farm in Connecticut
aWoke to discover that the farmhouse
was on fire. The roof had caught around
the kitchen chimney, and the people had
not been aroused. I made for the house
at once. aroused the family. found and
put up ladder. and but for my efforts
the house fould have been destroyed. I
had my hair singed and my hands Bills
tered. and when the fire was extin-
guished at last the old farmer wanted
to know how happened to be on hand.
I told him. and after a little thought he
said:
"Waa1. you must be thirsty. and I'll
have the wife get you a drink of milk
He called to her to fill a pitcher, but
followed her into the house and as
was washing. my hands at the kitchen
door heard him say:
=" Hammer. be sure to skim the milk
before you give it TO him. He's a tramp
and not used 10 creamp
IT politely declined the sximmilk
when it was brought out, telling the
farmer that didn't want to deprive
his pigs of their breakfast. and as I
started off he said:
You had lodgings in my haystack,
and that's worth a quarter. but being
as you put the fire out I'm willing to
cali it square
lat another time. in Massachusetts"
continued the c. q. D. man. 81 came
along to farmhouse with horsepond
just below it. A little girl of seven or
fell in just as I got sight of her. The
eight was sailing chips on the pond and
water was deep enough to drown her,
and that would have been her fate had
not pulled her out. I carried her up
| to the house, choking and gasping, and
| helped the mother restore her. The
father came in from blowing just as I
was ready to go, and, having heard my
story. he Tepled:
"'Waal, that's all right. but BERTHE
had a cent in her pocket this morning.
and I'd like to know if it's there YETI
1.-THE cent was there. and to this day
that farmer is puzzled over my conduct
in refusing the piece of bread and but
ter he told his wife to prepare for me
as a fitting reward. Let me give you
a third instance I was in the butter
making district of New York state and
had gone to roost under a tree in
field when q thunderstorm came UP ard
a bolt of lightning struck a farmers
barn and set it on fire. ran for the
Il cows out before any one came from
the house. The barn burned to the
ground, and while we stood looking at
the blaze the farmer edged I'D to me
and said:
THAT was purity slick of you to
save my cows, but two of 'em got into
the garden and have eat up dozen
heads of cabbage. Who's to pay for
the mcabbages, 1 want to known
cit has always bee ma difficult thing"
continued the G. O. D. man, with
smile, ito make certain people under
stand the difference between dilapi-
dated gentleman and tramp. This has
brought me into trouble with country
constables quite often. The average con-
stbale looks upon tramp as fair game
to make fees out of He runs him in on
the chance of his being sent up, and
he likes to put on the handouts and
make out that he has desperate char
acter in custody. One afternoon last
4 year as 1 was sitting by the roadside.
stable turned up and yelled at me:
"Now, then, what are you doing
here?'
But you have no business to rest
81 beg to differ with you
"'You are a tramp.
"sWe differ again.
And you are under arrest Come on
"I asked for his warrant, and he took
me by the collar. Three seconds later
he heard something drop, and he drove
away with a bloody nose to get help.
He soon returned with another consta-
BILE, and took off my coat and licked
| them both. While they were off hunt
| ing more help and shotguns walked
| into town and sought out lawyer and
! stated my case. He happened to be
down on the village justice, and when
six armed men finally landed me in
| court the lawyer was there. He made
haid stand up before he got through.
1 was not only discharged with an apol-
ogy but two of the constables paid me
IS each to let them off. They had no
legal right whatever to arrest me with.
out warrant, and neither was I
tramp.
II don't believe ever walked ten
miles along highway without being
accosted and insulted by some smart
Alec of a farmers son. / have mer
professional tramps who told me the
same thing. If you ever find a tramp
carrying a knife or gun or a slung-
shot, it is that he may protect himself
from farmers sons and hired men who
think to show off by thrashing him. /
have given many such chaps sur
prise party. They have jumped out of
wagons and come running across fields
to tackle me- and I have left them
sleeping on the grass or in the dust.
One day as / was hoofing it along an
OHIO turnpike 1 was overtaken by
party in a carriage There were three
young fellows and three girls bound on
| an excursion of some sort, and before
they came up heard talk of how they
would jump me over the fence. The