Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1902-06-12
NEWS ITEA scpIBEs
Experience the Fysteric Joys Of Trave
Through Shrewsbury Just to Verify
the RVmOrS.

Through Shrewsbury Just to Verify
the Rvmors.
Since my last letter have been
lost in the dense primeval forests of
Shrewsbury township. became so
much interested in the discoveries Of
the Herald that could no longer re-
sist the determination to investigate.
Securing young man for guide
and protector, it would have been
out of the question to go without the
young man, we provided ourselves
with supply of provisions include
ing Lady Fingers, Marshnallows,
Chocolates and all such substantial
things and coffee pot of course, AS
the young man thought we would
need some coffee and fried eggs and
perhaps some bread, we boldly start
ed for Ticklish Rock and the Cav
erns that exceed the forty miles Of
underground roads of the Mammoth
Cave.
We could not find it but we
thought we heard the roarings of
those dreadful animals the ''StOlag-
mites" and the "StOlactitltes" that
must be kept shut up down there.
From all the information we could
get, we were forced to the conclusion
that the entrance to the cave must
be under the Herald Office and that
it is into this place where the editor
goes every once in while when he
is missing. We heard that he uses
this place to dispose of his subscrib
ers who do not pay up, and we have
settled for our paper and decided to
quit for fear that we might forget to
remit promptly. Where the other
end of the more that forty miles goes
to we were unable to learn, probably
it ends where the story does, in Il
future issue. We were impressed
with the singular appropriateness of
providing "The DEVILS Chapel' for
the Office force. AS the Herald
writer has been there we would he
gratified to know the condition of
things.
We never could understand quite
streams, Rock Run and Kettle Greek
or rather the water i'm them, but
now we know that they generously
go all over the country, watering the
regions for the health and comfort of
thousands of people. 1t is remark
able to us that the silver and copper
bulging out along these hills should
be left out of doors over night. We
moralized on the subject until we
concluded that the people are so
wealthy that they would not look
at anything less than nuggets of
gold. 1t is so easy to live there.
The Beef Trust has no show. In the
morning we went to MELONS Lake
with a wagon and scoop shovel,
and in few minutes we had catfish
enought to supply the whole settle
ment for Il week.
Here we got on to the whole story.
The Standard Oil Co., the Steel
Trust, the Beef Trust and the Leath-
er Trust have learned of the immense
wealth in attractiveness and natural
resources in Shrewsbury township,
and they sent Il special agent to in
yestigate. The Herald with its us
ual enterprise secured this man and
so got the '.scoop' on the whole
thing, very much to the disgust of
the other Sullivan County papers
and the New York Journal which
were all left in the "soup'.
The scheme is immense! The
Township is to be bought by the
Trusts and it will be enclosed by a
barbed wire fence sixteen feet high.
At first gates will be provided at the
public roads and at the Eagles Mere
r. II. but to protect the sights and
treasures armed guards will accom-
pany all passers and the railroad
trains. Ultimately some other plan
will be adopted, probably trestles
constructed overhead. OF course a
charge will be made for admittance,
hotels will be built, elevators will
carry tourists to the SUBMITS of the
highest points overlooking the whole
United States, each guest will be
provided with chunk of copper
and of silver as a souvenir, the I'M
mense sawmills will be removed ex
cept that the Leather Trust insists
on peeling the millions on millions
of hemlock lumber but that will be
needed for buildings for the thOus-
ands of people who will come here
from all over the world, and at any
rate young trees will be planted so
as to keep up the forests.
All this and more too, is official
and we wired Pierpont Morgan and
asked him for particulars and re-
quested that he would cable us the
fullest details regardless of cost, but
be careful to mark the special pre-
paid as it might reach us after hank
ing hours in Shrewsbury township.
We nearly omitted to say that foot