Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1902-02-20
AN UNSUCCESSFUL SOLICITOR.
Uncle IOe Again Fails in His Quest for
News Subscribers.


MIR. Editor
Ifyou will allow me to trouble you
and your readers once more perhaps !
will again before long. just want to
tell you about another scrape got into.
must be the biggest fool ever was, or
the smartest man on earth one, and |
sometimes think both ways in very
short time. The way get into scrapes
shows what a fool | am and the way l
get out is clear proof how smart | am.
or course smart means to be in haste,
doesn't it? 1t does in this case anyhow.
called at place for nights lodging
and was told to come in if could make
out with the fare. OF course l thought
could and went in. The first to at
tract my attention were three powder
cans for chairs, and being very tired
occupied one. Next was to try to count
the children which never succeeded in
doing to my entire satisfaction, but the
best l could guess was that there were
about sixteen, all about the same size
or so near so that you could not swear
which one you had counted
took squint around the house
which was about sixteen feet square.
One bed was made clear across the back
end of the house on the floor and had
very little or no cover upon it. There
was an oven and one skillet with no
handle and that was about all the furni-
ture. Great Scott! thought ], stay here?
No of course can't but how would l
, get off without insulting these good peo-
/ pie. well" said / to the man, "how
/ far is it to the next house" They amt
no more going the way you is The
next house is four miles back" "You
don't say so. No more houses going
! west?' No and no rodes neither"
Golly, thought l, what mess am
in. BY this time the kids and the old
lady had me surrounded and each one
was staring at me as though was the
hind part of Sells Bros or Wild Bilrs
circus.
what do you follow for livelihood?'
the old man asked me.
81 am employed as journalist for
the News, said 1.
whats that" said the old lady as
she scrutinized me closer, rs it look
ing up and writing'news for the papers?"
''Oh yes" "Well" said the man "you
can just take your carCast and hit the
road. have swore that nooze report
ers can't stop on any land.
took my grip in one hand, my hat
in the other and made for the door as
fast as possible, considering my feeble
ness, and my past experience in these
mountains told me not to let old age
have but very little to do with my
speed just then. just as | went to STEP
out the old man gave me very gentle
shove with one foot, which helped me
knock down about three pannols of rail
fence Oh, but was mad, right. got
up with two or three rails across me
and aimed to knock the old man down
with one. just then | heard the OLD
lady say Take him, Tige," and | fell
something hang onto my pants righ
where the patches were. dropped the
rail, and gave great jerk and parted
company with Tige.
Well, you could have then seen Tn
Gle Joe move his freight few miles
from there you would never go to an
other circus. My legs don't look lik,
knitting needles stuck in a pumpkin
for nothing They move when they
call on them, you bet, but when l go
to where / was safe found | had lef
the back portion of my pants with the
dog.
Now, Mr.. Editor, if you can't give nj
better pay, will be compelled to quit
! can't risk my life and pants and othe
things unless | am getting big pay
These people will all fight if they ge
the advantage of you, and have learn
1 ed it won't do to tell them the trut
about your occupation every time.
UNCLE JOE.