davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

at all adverse to doing the work in
the harvest field and getting there
fore what small horde of profit may
happen to escape the Boss Harvester
"A sucker is floated in on every
wave," is a trite but true proverb of
Wall street. And it is also true that
there are some few odd fishermen
down in the street, and also that there
is sufficient water down there to af-
ford fair promise of good sport when
treated in conjunction with the fish
ers and the suckers"
Whatever happens, the wiseacre
still remains a wiseacre. He knows
that if the crops are good the Grang-
ers will make much store of goodly
wealth. He is certain that if Penn
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

acre, of course, is ultimately to make
the Dear Public" feel cheap. This
mission he has labored at ever since
the Wall street game began, and still
the public doesn't seem to mind. If
one read with an intelligent eye the
advertisements in some few papers in
town wherein are set forth the claims
of certain of the wiseacres to lknowl-
edge beyond the ken Of all other wise
acres, it would be seen at once that
the dear public is the sole and ex-
elusive object of the solicitude of the
wiseacre who has become a profess
sional wiseacre. This professional
status, as has been remarked many
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

chair and watch the wiseacres.
There are two of them, say, leaning
over the tape at the front OF the GUS
toners room. They stand in moody
silence, holding their cigars between
their fingers and letting them smoke
themselves. 1t means that the air Is
heavy. 1t means that the world has
been misbehaving. Perhaps one OF
them was .ong of Rock Island at zoo;
perhaps he was short of it a. It's. Who
can say? Anyhow, the way is dark
and dreary to his eyes.
Another day one finds it very differ
ent. The two wiseacres are full OF
wise saws and modern instances of
great things done in Wall street.
Their cigars smoke merrily, as they
should, being expensive weeds and
rare. There is much talk of "bull
markets." long profits" quick turns
and decent" and all the other things
that make a man happy, even though
his wife be at Saratoga. In such
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
The Carpinq Critic.

One of those callous Partisan critics
says of Bernhard, as Ophelia: Mime.
Sarah did wrong to put so much YER
million ON her face. In the drowning
scene she seemed quite to color the
water. Besides, no woman while wear
ing such beautiful flowing dress of
India silk, would, under any circum-
stances, sane or insane, come within
a quarter of mile of watery grave"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
AIumlnum as substItute for Paper,

1t is stated that experiments with
aluminium as substitute for paper
are now under way in France. 1t is
now possible to roll aluminium into
sheets four-thousandths of an inch IN
thickness, in which form it weighs
less than paper. By the adoption Of
suitable machinery these sheets can
be made even thinner and can be used
for book and writing paper. The metal
will not oxidise, is practically fire and
water proof and is indestructible by
worms.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Increase and multiply in startling ratio
while the stock stands STILL then saith
the wiseacre
Even so; methinks l see certain
profit. Some day soon some mighty
one, looking for a goodly subject for
a rise, will light upon this road and
boom it to the skies. / shall hitch my
wagon to this star while yet it hovers
near the earth, and see what heights
it scales. Buy me two thousand Penn
sylvania." And presently he sells
those shares at ten points rise. So
prospers and grows great the goodly
cult of wiseacres.
There are, be it said, some wise
acres whose wisdom turns to foolish
ness, and whose bank account shrinks
and dwindles like an apple Of last
years harvest, or like the assets Of
an industrial under the receivers mi
croscope. Such a one is he who lives
too long under one dispensation.
The aim and object of the wise
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

and popuIous as the American
Northwest, Canadian Pacific will
be great deal higher in price
than 1t is now. He knows also
that If 1t rains tomorrow it will
be wet day, while If the sun
shines it Is apt to be bright His wis
dom, in fact, is touching and wonder
full, and the gusto with which he
spreads it around would lead an un-
biased observer to believe that he &C
tually liked doing good for goods
sake.-C. NJ. Keys in New York Times.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

TO the housewife who has not yet
become acquainted with the new things
of everyday use in the market and who
is reasonably satisfied with the old, we
would suggest that trial of Defiance
Cold Water Starch be made at once.
Not alone because it is guaranteed by
the manufacturers to be be superior to
any other brand, but because each Toe
package contains 10 ozs., while all the
other kinds contain but 12 ozs. 1t is
safe to say that the lady who once uses
Defiance Starch will use no other.
Quality and quantity must win.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

She was Persuaded to Try st. Jacobs
Oil, and All Pain Di-1ppeared
Immediately.
1t is undoubtedly a fact beyond dis
pute that the strongest advertising
medium the proprietors have is that OF
people who recommend others to use
st. Jacobs Oil. People who have them
selves experienced a happy result
which invariably follows the use OF
this great remedy, show their graft
tude by recommending it to those
whom they know are similarly affect
ed. This is the case of Margaret Lee,
of II Brightfeld road, Lee Green, Wis.
Having suffered from muscular
rheumatism for years, and not receiv-
ing any benefit from various remedies,
| used st. Jacobs Oil; pain and sore
ness removed at once; no return OF
rheumatism" st. Jacobs Oil is sold
in rs cts. and SO cts. sizes by all drug
fists.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

TOWN town wiseacre is man
b who has made a million
@ "bucking the street" Up
SSSsYeJ town a wiseacre is man who
knows enough to leave the
street alone. There is certain incon-
sistency in the two definitions, but
both exist.
The downtown wiseacre is an In
teresting and instructive type, in fact,
he is liberal education in himself.
but, like other liberal educations, he
costs money to acquire. One may find
him hanging over the ticker, always
smoking, always complacent, always
confidential He is as easily recog-
nized as a detective or head waiter.
One an see the financial wisdom fair
ly gliDting in his eyes. He breathes in
time with the delicate rattle of the
ticker His heart beats as the market
moves. He is the personification of
the Wall street market.
Naturally, then, he is more or less
of a barometer. A man coming into
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

case one knows that things are or
dered well by the little blind demon
OF chance that cuts the pack and deals
the hands for the merry game of mil
hons.
Yet is the wiseacre something be-
yond the mere Spectator. The latter
takes his wisdom from the formers
lips, or gets It in the tipster's proph-
ecy, or from a chance remark of some
great man. The former manufactures
it on the premises. so to speak. Back
of him he has years of experience,
some bitter, some sweet. Does it hap
pen that certain stock goes climb
ing swiftly away beyond it's value as
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

times, came when,
as an amateur, the
wiseacre came to
grief. Now he is
anxious to get the
pleasure and profit
of bucking the
tough old Street,
and to reap with
him the golden har-
vest of a bull cam
paign. And, strange
as it may seem, the
dear public is not
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Good Country for sauerkraut.

In Cuba cabbages frequently weigh
as much as twenty pounds. All vege
tables do we'll. Radishes may be
eaten from fourteen to eighteen days
after sowing, lettuce in five weeks
after sowing, while corn produces
three crops per year. Sweet potatoes
are perpetual. The natives dig up the
tubers, cut them off and plant the old
vines, which produce a new crop in
three months. All sorts of fruits, hor-
ticutural and greenhouse plants and
dubious stock are also grown.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Indian Divorce.

The first Indian divorce granted In
Oklahoma has been granted Spah-Pah-
Bear in Pawnee county by Judge T. B.
Aainer. Spah-P ah-6ear, who is near
ly so and partially blind, accused his
squaw of infidelity, abandonment and
neglect of duty. The suit was con-
Quoted in the Pawnee language, Jas.
R. Murie, Carlisle Indian, acting as
interpreter for the court
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
FIFTY THOUSAND PEOPLE

pitation, headache, and nervousness
passes away; swelling of the limbs
and dropsy signs vanish. They cor
rect urine with brick dust sediment,
high colored, excessive, pain in pass
ing, dribbling, and frequency These
pills dissolve and remove calculi and
gravel. They are free to readers of
this paper for few days. Cut out
coupon, fill address plainly, and mail
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

a down town office
after a week in the
mountains, where
tickers are not and
where the din of
the market Is lost
in the roar of the
mountain stream,
does not need to
consult the chron-
icles to find out
just how the world
has been behaving
itself. He may take
a comfortable seat
in a hip red leather
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
American ShipbuiIdinq.

During the fiscal year ended with
June, 1867 vessels, of 47S,9S1 gross
tons, were launched in the United
States, as compared with 1,7O9 vessels,
of 4S9,616 tons, in 1901. The, decrease
is in sailing vessels, canalboats,
barges, etc.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Travelling Four Years to Buy Snuff.

The East Greenlanders journey
around to West Greenland to get
snuff, and will consume four years in
single excursion there and back,
often, according to hansen, remaining
no longer than an hour at the trading
station before taking up their home
Y ard march.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Ing swiftly away
beyond its value as
estimated by the
experts, the wise
acre saith to him
self:
-" 'Tis well; 1
have s e e n such
things before and
shall again, l think.
Sell me a thousand
of this stock that
doth so vaunt It,
self"
Does it happen
that the earnings
of a certain road,
a. -I,v@ntA
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
The Different Races.

A Chinaman who acted as secretary
to former Chinese minister to Eng
land has published book in which
he says: There is nothing which an
American won't say, there is nothing
which an Englishman won't eat, there
Is nothing an Italian won't sing, there
is no measure to which a Frenchman
won't dance AID nothing Russians
won't covet"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease, powder. 1t makes tight or new
shoes easy. Cures swollen, hot, sweating,
aching feet, ingrowing nails, corns and
bunions. All druggists and shoe stores,
Csc. Trial package FREE by mail. Ad-
dress Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy, N. 7.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

sylvania is go
ing to go up
h j 6 h r, it is
now a goo d
thing to buy,
and that if it is
going to drop a
few points it is
now a good
thing to sell.
He is quite GER
tain that If the
G a n a d | a n
Northwest gets
to be as rich
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

personally interviewed at their homes
say Doan's Kidney Pills cured them.
Thousands took advantage of this
following free offer directly it was
made. Friends heard of their cure /;
thus came the great fame of Doan's.
They realized what they promised.
By their direct action on kidney
structure, backache, back, hip, and
loin pain is removed. The condi-
tons causing sleeplessness, heart pal
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Kitchener Still Fancy Free.

Gen. Kitchener, it is announced, will
be experimenting the military ma
neuvers at Delhi. India, in December.
This disposes of the rumor of an en-
gagement matrimonial which gossips
had set for the Christmas season.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Home Visitors Excursions via the Mis-
souri, Pacific Railway

To points in Ohio and Indiana. One
fare for the round trip plus $500.
Tickets on sale September End, 9th,
10th, and 23rd, good to return within
80 days from date of sale. Excellent
opportunity to visit the old folks at
home. Call on or address nearest Mis-
souri, Pacific Agent for particulars.
H c. Townsend, G.P. & 7. Agt. st. Louis.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
INSIST ON GETTING IT.

Some grocers say they don't keep De-
fiance Starch because they have stock
in hand of 10 OF. brands, which they
know cannot be sold to a customer
who has once used the 16 o. pkg. De-
fiance Starch for same money.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children
Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse
In the Children's Home in New York. Cures
Feverishness, Bad Stomach, Teething Dis
orders, move and regulate the Bowels and
Destroy Worms. Over 10000 testimonials.
At all druggists, 25c Sample FREE. Ad-
dress Allen s. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Chair used hx RovaItv.

Two oak chairs made for the use Of
the king and queen of England when
they visited Middlesbrough, in 1899,
have Just been sold for "a IS each.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Scratch, scratch; scratch. unable to
attend to business during the day or sleep
during the night. Itching piles, horrible
plague. Doan's Ointment cures Never
fails. At any drug store, so cents.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Don't delay aminute. Cholera infantum,
dysentary. diarrhea come suddenly. Only
safe plan is to have DR.. Fowler's Extract
of Wild Strawberry always on hand.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
THOSE WHO HAVE TRIED 1T

will use no other. Defiance Cold Water
Starch has no equal in Quantity or
Quality-16 OF. for 10 cents. Other
brands contain only IL OF.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Instructions as to eggs and colts
break before using.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Wise is the man who can give a
woman advice without mourning her
enmity.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Remorse doesn't last long enough to
do much good.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

You can't eat your cake and have it
too, but you can drink your drinks
and have 'em bad.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

1t never rains on the unjust if he can
get hold of an umbrella belonging to
the Just.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Tile north pole is almost as hard to
find as the men who get lost searching
for it
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

A thing always seems worth more
if you want to buy it than it does If
you want to sell it.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Some fellows have lots of push, but
they expend too much of it on saloon
doors
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

After man tires of amusements he
calls them follies.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

A man has TO learn to like babies
and eat olives.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance Starch
is taking the place of all others.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

YELLOW CLOTHES ARE UNSIGHTLY.
Keep them white with Red Cross Ball Blue.
All grocers sell large OF. package, cents
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

lam sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago-Mrs. THos. ROBBINS
Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y, Feb. II, 1900.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Some mems prospects are SO fine that
they can't be seen.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

When vessel is sinking it takes
more than a barber to razor.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

In trying to get his rights many a
man goes at it the wrong way.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Dyspepsia sours lot of the milk OF
human kindness.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Try me Just once and am sure to
come again. Defiance Starch.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

1t takes the plowshare of effort to
open up the burrows of success.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

To Cure a Cold in One day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. AL
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

The trouble with most people who
can't sing is that they don't know it.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

The price of liberty often depends
upon the humor of the judge.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Children that are hard to raise should
be brought up with round turn.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

It's strange that the more industrious
smuggler is the more he shirks duty.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Ladies' Can Wear Shoes

Occasionally girl marries her ideal
but he soon outgrows it.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

A secret is something that usually
isn't worth keeping.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Selfish people never laugh unless
they can do so at the expense of others.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Only in this versatile language of
ours is it possible to enjoy poor health.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
IF YOU USE BALL BLUE,

Get Red Cross Ball Blue, the best Ball Blue
Large o. package only cents.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

In baseball the pitcher is the power
behind the thrown.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Most women are afraid of loose
dog or tight man.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

If BARRIERS sharp that's the way
he'll keep his razor.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

For children teething softens the gums reduces IN
6ammstion allays palm cures wind collie 25c abotte
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12
Halls Catarrh Cure
constitutional cure. Price, 75c.

All is not gold that shows up in
glittering mining prospectus.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

The waiter lives by fees, the book
agent biographies.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1902-09-12

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1902-09-17
Sion. The Cough

and works of the cold Laxative Bromo
Quinins Tablets Price 25 cent?.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1902-09-17
. HowELL'S HUMoR.
Fanny story Related by Hin, In RE-
prevail of Overardent
Admirer

William Dean Howells has no consider
able reputation as a teller of humorous
stories, but once IN a while an excellent
yarn IS attributed 10 him. IL was provoked
10y the action OF young author who had
been a protege of Howells and Nho when
he arrived never lost an opportunity 10
say something nice OF Howells. On one
occasion the younger author made an ad-
dress before body of literary men IN
which ne virtually asserted. that, every
thing good and great IN native literature
owed ITS inspiration to Howells The ad-
dress was printed far and wide and COM
mented on at length. not always IN = man
yer complimentary TO las author. MIR.
Eowells attention was naturally called to
the matter and he wrote his protege let
ter IN which he involved a story of two
men who, bathing at the seashore. were
seen struggling and heard crying for l.,lp.
a crowd gathered to watch the efforts of the
HE guards who could hear above the roar
OF the ocean and the noise made low the
crowd voice believing. Save the red
haired man, Save him first, The red
haired man, sure. Both men were saved
and the guards, going after the excitable
fellow on the beach in the hope az a graf.
uity, asked: "Red-head chap relation o.
yours, slr?' "No-no relative at all lie
replied, but he owes me $40"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1902-09-17
RECORD OF THE PAST.

The best guarantee of the future r
the record Of the past, and over fifty
thousand people have publicly testified
that Doan's Kidney Pills have cured
them Of numerous kidney ills, from
common backache to dangerous dia-
betes, and all the attendant annoy
ances and suirerings from urinary dis
orders. They have been cured TO stay
cured. Here is one case:
Samuel j. Taylor, retired carpenter,
residing at 312 South Third St. Goshen,
Ind, says: "On the 25th day of Au-
gust 1897, l made an affidavit before
Jacob {. Mann, notary public. stating
my experience with Doan's Kidney
Pills. l had suffered for thirty years
and was compelled at times TO walk
by the aid OF crutches. frequently
passed gravel and suffered eNcruciat-
ingly | took every medicine on the
market that ! heard about, and some
gave me temporary relief. began
taking Doan's Kidney Pills, and the
results gave to the public i'm the state
ment above referred TO. At this time,
ON the 10th day OF July, 1909. make
this further statement, that during
the five years which have elapsed [
have had no occasion to use either
Doan's Kidney Pills or any other med
icine for my Kidneys. The cure effect
ed was a permanent one"
\ FREE TRIAL OF this great Kidney
medicine which cured Mr.. Taylor will
be mailed on application to any part
OF the United States. Address Foster
Milhurn Co, Buffalo, Y. Y. For sale
by all druggists price 80 cents per box.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1902-09-17
Low Rates to the Northwest

Commencing September | and confirm.
ing until October 81, 1902, second class one.
way colonlst tickets will Toe sold by the Chi
cago, Milwaukee q -. Paul R'y from chi.
ago to all points in Montana. Idaho. Utah.
CCa,lornla, Washington, Oregon, British
Columbia and intermediate poIntS NJ grsat.
ly reduced rates. Choice OF routes 10 81
Paul or via Omaha.
The Chicago, Milwaukee & st. Paul R'v
Is the route of the United States Govern
ment last mail trains between Chicago. st.
Taul and Minneapolis and of the Pioneer
Llunited, the famous train of the world
All coupon ticket agents sell tickets vi,
IhIcago, Milwaukee u st. Paul nv. or ad.
dress +. y. Miller, General Passenger
Agent, Chicago.