davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

A Celtic cook asked her mistress one
Monday for leave of absence the fol
lowing Sunday to attend her brothers
funeral.
why" exclaimed the mistress, this
is only Monday? Surely, nobody's GO
Ing to keep dead body a whole week"
Hes not dead yet, num-" explained
the cook.
mo? Well, he may die today or he
may live month. No doctor can safe
ly say that a person will die at such a
time that day may be set for the fu-
neral"
1.-THE doctors nothing to do wild 1t,
num-" was the further explanation.
"Ofm sure Sunday'll be all roight, FIR
he's sintinced to be hung Friday"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

A railway company was erecting
line of new poles along a highway.
One of the men engaged to fill In the
dirt and clear up around t. poles was
al Irishman, new at the business and
new to America. He had not got be
yond his first pole, says the Philadel-
phia Times, but stood bordering how
TO dispose of the dirt which had filled
the space now occupied by the pole.
His sense of the fitness of things
must have been strong, for he WAS
averse to piling the loose dirt around
the base of the pole, as is the custom.
A negro wayfarer stopped for match,
and the Irishman asked his advice.
IF l was a-doin' dat job, I'd JUS dig
hole bout where you ah standin
and shovel de dirt into it. Much
'blige."
AS the negro sauntered away the
Irishman scratched his head and muir
INJURED:
"Well, It's not to be denied that eddi-
cation has been afther-r dom great
deal for-r tn neygur-r!,'
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
Mitigating Circumstances.

Are you aware of any mitigating
circumstances in your case?" asked Il
magistrate of negro convicted of
stealing a coat.
eyes, sch; lots oh EN- Eff ] had
time, jedge, could talk to you for n
week on dat subject
"1f you know of any mitigating cir
cumstance, please state it."
Eyes, sab; I'll tell you OBJ one right
now, sab. How easy would 1t have
been for me to bring my family inter
disgrace and misery, sab, l jess re-
manned single nebber married, sab.
Anudder mitigatin' circumstance am
"Oflcer, remove the prisoner"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
HOW's This!

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that cannot be
cured by taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props,
Toledo, o
We, the undersigned, having known F. J
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transactions
and hnanciylly able to carry out any obligations
made by their firm.
West 4 Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
Ohio.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Price 75c per bot
tie. Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

Red and inflamed lids, lids which
look as though the person had been
keeping very late hours, says recent
periodical, and lids which have little
crusts formed during the night at the
root of the eyelashes. are usually an
Indication of a low degree of astigma-
tism. In some cases no relief is had
for this condition till proper glasses
are procured. a large proportion Of
the cases, however, will be cured by
the following ointment: Yellow oxide
of mercury, three grains; yellow vase
line, one-h half ounce; mix thoroughly
and apply a very little to the edge of
the eyelids each night.-Jewelers' Cir
cular-W Weekly.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
BankruptS Petition for Discharge.

In the matter Of AMOS A JOHNSON
Bankrupt. in bankruptcy.
To the Hon. Clarence Hale. Judge Of the Dis
trct Court OF the United States for the District
OF Maine
AMOS A. JOHNSON Of Norridgewoek in the
County Of Somerset. and State of Maine. in said
District, respectfully represents, that on the
1st DAY Of February last past. be was duly sd-
Judged bankrupt under the Acts of Congress
relating to Bankruptcy. that he has duly sur
rendered all his property and rights of property,
and has fully complied with all the require
ments of said Acts and OF the orders Of Court
touching his bankruptcy.
Wherefore he prays, that tie may I've deereed
bv the Court 70 have a full discharge from all
debts provabe against his estate under said
bankrupt Acts. except such debts as are except
ed by law from such discharge.
Dated this 2-th DAY OF september A. D. l4so-
AMOS A, JOHNSON Bankrupt.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
DR.. EmmOnS'

Monthly Regulator has brought happiness TO
ly no other remedy known to medical science
that will 80 quickly and safely do the work.
Longest and mostobsti tate Irregularities from
any cause relieved Immediately. Successguar-
anteed at any stage. No pain, danger, or inter.
ference with work. Have relieved hundreds OF
csises where others have failed. The most dini-
cult cases successfully treated by mall and BEN
efcial results guaranteed In every Instance. No
risk whatsoever. We treat hundreds OF ladies'
whom we never see. Write for further partcu:
lars and free confidential advice. DO not put on
too long. Allletters truthfully answered. ne
member this remedy Is absolutely safe under
every possible condition and positively leaves
no after Ill effect upon the health Sent by mail,
securely sealed, $500. Money letters shoulI De
registered. DIR. j. w. EMMONS CO., 10 IRE
mont St.. Boston. Mass.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
Love In the Museum.

"Will nothing move your pleaded
the ardent wild man, who was as adept
at lovemaking as he was at eating raw
beef.
The fat lady glanced at her corpu.
lent self and smiled. YES" she chuc-
kled: "a derrick. Chicago News.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

"Don't you think" said the soulful
young thing, that ruined old church
with the ivy clnging to its crumbling
walls comes nearer than anything else
to realizing ones ideal of patient res
ignationY
That's what it does" replied the
young man with the camera. Il don't
know anything that will stand for be-
ing photographed half as often. "-Ex-
change.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
No Cause For Woe.

Stokes-Speaking of mourning, If
your rich uncle were to die, should you
put on black?
Blckers-Certainly not If he left
me something handsome, why should
l be such a hypocrite as to don the
garb of woe? On the other hand, if
he left me out of his will, how could l
consistently put on mourning for such
a curmudgeon Boston Transcript.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
Three Letters.

Gayboy-A fellow can't be too care
full about his letters to women.
Henpeck-That's right. a woman got
three letters from me once that have
kept me in hot water ever since.
Gayboy-You don't mean it?
Henpeck-Fact. They were Yes"
Philadelphia Press.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
FREE SAMPLE DISTRIBUTION.
r. w. Buchanan giving away MILO
ma, the great dyspe psla cure.

The proprietors of Mi-o-na, the greal
dyspepsia remedy, have made arrange
ments with F. w. Bucknam, the popu.
lar druggist, to give away samples OF
Milo ma to those presenting the follow
ing conpon at his store.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

Prom nettle fiber thread has been
produced so fine that length of sixty
miles OF 1t weighs but two and half
pounds.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
EnrlX Years Tnrtnre.

To be relieved from disease might well
cause gratitude, That is what De.
Wits Witch Hazel salve did for {.
Haney, Geneva. O. He says; dewitt
Witch Hazel Salve cured me of piles
after ] had suffered 40 years cures
cuts, burns, wounds, skin diseases.
Geo. Z. SAMPSON.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
Another keyboard to he Learned.

Another Keyboard to he Learned.
oh" despairingly exclaimed the
typewriter girl who was taking her
first lesson on the piano, Il don't be-
lieye | can ever learn to operate it.
The keyboard's so differentn- Chicago
Tribune
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
Phi. II Is
Wlnohes pile Cure Qiquid taken internally
Does This by Killing the Pile
Formatlons-Mo Back
II IuIla IN (t,ra

So many thousands Of people have been cured
of all kinds of piles % Protuding bleeding, In.
ternal and External and Chronic Constipation
by Winchester Pile cure that we will refund the
price paid II not cured. Sufferers from Piles
who have been cured by Winchester Pile cure
are grateful enough and glad to pay the price OF
medicine for a cure. We stand behind our own
remedy. We know that it cures
Winchester Pile Cure is
a pleasant tasting liquid remedy, which when
taken internally act directly on the lower bow.
els. kills the pile formations In the blood, grad
ually softens and di>solves away the growths
and a permanent cure is made Suppositories
or surgical operations give only temporary re-
lief. If tired of these, then try Winchester Pile
Cure. Perfectly safe 20 take.
A personal trial is The best test. Buy bottle
for 81 of any of the eading druggists, take as
directed and a perfect never to-return cure will
be made The intense itching stops in day or
two. If not cured your money will he promptly
refunded without argument. The decision of a
cure is left entirely with you. We trust you i'm.
plicitly, Winchester Pile Cure will also improve
your digestion, build You up, give you pure, rich
blood and restore yoC to the pleasures of home
life and business ~ druggists. or by express
81. Address WINCHESTER PILE CURE CO..
Medford, Mass Circulars free. We are a relia-
BILE company $4,000 behind our unconditional
guarantee. We keep our promises absolutely
Sold In Skowhegan, Me-, by g. r. Fogg.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

did you know that your political
antagonist had cast reflections on your
truth and yeracity?"
"Yes." .>e -.
"What are you going to do about itY
Nothing. My pride forbids me to
fight any one except gentleman, and
a man who calls another a liar is no
gentleman. Washington Star.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
COUPON

This Coupon, if presented at my
store, entities the holder to a two
days treatment Of Mi o-na, the great
dyspepsia cure. -
F. W. BUekNAN.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
PILES
PILES !
PILES

Or. Williams Indian Pile Ointment is pre-
pared to cure Piles and DOES IT in short or.
der. Easy to spply, every box guaranteed, SOC
and ~ 90. All druggists or by mail.
GEO E. SAMPSON, SkoWhegsu, Maine.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09
Notice Of First Meeting Of Creditors.
In the District Court Of the United states for
the District Of Maine.
In BankrIIptcV

the District Of Maine.
IN Bankruptcy.
In the matter of
James Lebarron Tracy ! In Bankruptcy.
BANKRUPT.
To the creditors OF James Lebarron Tracy of
Mercer in the County of Somerset aud Dis
trict aforesaid, bankrupt.
Notice is hereby given that on the 4th day OF
October A. ID. 1902, said James Lebarron Tracy
was duly adiudicated bankrupt, and
that the rst meeting OF his Creditors will be
held at Daniel Lewis office in Skowhegan
Maine, on the 25th day OF October. A. d 1902,
at 10 O'Clock in the forenoon, at which time the
said Creditors may attend, prove their claims
appoint trustee. examine the bankrupt, and
transact such other business as may properly
come before said meeting. lwil
October 6, A. D., 1902
DANIEL LEWIS, Referee in Bankruptcy.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1902-10-09

Money talks" said the caller We'll, the
kind get must talk in whisper" ehuCkied
Senator Stocks. "Why,2" Because IL is
hush-money."
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
WAYFARER'S NOTEBOOK
Likes 10 throw Potatoes

There Is a popular young man who
lis manager OF a well-known West Side
grocery store, who is coming to grief
some day. Baskets Of potatoes are
kept in front Of the store and the
young man is fond of indulging in
baseball practice with them. He has
an idea that he would make a good
pitcher if his powerful right were
properly developed, and he takes
every means to develop it,
BY so doing, however, he makes
passersby, with whom he is acquaint-
ed feel uncomfortable and angry. AS
thoy walk along unconscious of dan
ger they will suddenly be startled by
a whizzing noise and a small brown
object flashing past.
The Wayfarer was treated TO such an
experience the other day. Whether
the young man makes up the potatoes
disposed of in this way. as sold to GUS
toners or given to charity. is not
known. Some day n passerby will get
on to his curves and knock him out OF
the box.
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
SHAD BRING GOOD PRICES
high Boat Yesterday Had lSO to Its
Credit News OF New Castle
Special to The Evening journal

New Castle. May 2.-There were sew
eral good catches of shad yesterday.
Mr.. Hawkins had 1SO, which was high
boat. The other boats ran from fifty
up The fish still bring good prices
for this time of the season.
The River and Harbor Improvement
machine is digging clay from the Gov
ernment property, below the light
house. which will be taken to Fair
mount Park.
Eugene Chase launched his boat yes
terday. 1t has been thoroughly clean
ed and painted.
Mr.. Haas. who was out in a naptha
launch yesterday, stopped at the JEFF
ferson House and had one of its noted
Dlanked shad dinners, after which he
returned to Philadelphia.
James McPike is plastering at r. G.
Cooper's. From there he will go tc
Samuel Miller's. near State Road
where he will be employed for about
a month.
Harry Abele, who cuts meat for
Matthew Walls. yesterday had quite an
experience with a bull which Mr.
Walls bought from Edward Downey
at Bear Station. While Mr.. Abele was
bringing the bull home it broke into q
run. and ran for two miles. Once
Abeie fell and bruised his elbow.
Mark Bennett who has been EN-.
ployed at Lobdell's until yesterday
had his foot smashed and it is in q
bad condition.
Mr.. and Mrs. Michael Reedy, who
were married on Wednesday evening
left Yesterday on their wedding trip
to be gone for three weeks.
Word was received here from Phila
delphia yesterday that Leo Eagin, for
merly OF this city, had died there, il
his 23d year. He was the son of Pat
! rick Eagin, who resided in NOrtl
Carolina for number of years.
Challenger & Son received a book
case today which is TO be used for tn,
Tabard Inn Library. which is to be es
tablished in New Castle
Perry Cisco. who is i'll, is still in g
critical condition.
! Charles Shearer is improving
Miss Minnie Taylor spent yesterday
in Philadelphia.
Walter B. Hayes was a visitor il
New Castle yesterday.
Miss Harriet Challenger is spending
a few days in Philadelphia.
Harry Jemison and Miss Salli,
Truitt are visiting friends in Wash
ington. ID. c.. where they will remain
for two weeks.
Professor Richardson and wife spen
Yesterday in Philadelphia as tn,
guest of their son.
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
NEW SPAPER OPINION
The United States Army


From the New York Sun.
Discussion of the general staff bill
proposed by Secretary Root, has bedn
heated. not to say ugly in temper on
the part OF partisans of General Miles
Against the very able and high-minded
civilian who occupies the post OF Sec
retary of War the Miles party hurls
the memory of his prowess in the field,
and no little sentiment against reor-
sanitation has arisen in the army IT,
self partly from sympathy for Miles
and partly from instructive opposition
to change.
We can understand the existence of
such a feeling in the army. but a meas
ure so important as the one in ques-
tion should be considered without pas
sion
The leading military antagonist OF
Secretary Roots plan. General Miles
opposes It largely because of its effect
upon him personally. The leading mill
tary advocate Of it, General SchOfield
must in fairness be assumed to speak
without prejudice. In justice to this
side of the dispute, it should be remem-
bered that General Schofleld has never
done anything to forfeit the respect
gained for his professional opinion by
his long and distinguished service.
To the arguments of those two
officers representing the American
army, we shall add simply recent ex-
preston of one of the first transatlan-
tic military critics "The Germans -
saws Sir Charles Dixie in an article on
'The Armies of the Powers" in the
April number OF Munseys Magazine.
ARE not a martial people. But their
perfect study and practice of things
military make them probably the most
formidable fighting power of the
world"
The great European General that
follows Napoleon in history, Won
Moltke. was chief of staff, upon a
plan which Secretary Root has largely
followed in the bill that is now before
the Senate
We believe that Won Moltle and
Schoileld make heavier weight of au-
thority in favor of the proposed sys-
tenn than Miles and his friends make
against il.
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
Postmaster Ouotes ScfIpture

Postmaster William Heald, while
he reads the Bible. has never posed al
Bible student. but recently he took
the breath out of H. b. Shurter. private
secretary for Colonel Henry A. Du-
Pont.
The other day Mr.. Head was sitting
in his office looking over the book OF
psalms. when the desk phone rang.
Hello said Mr. Heald
"Hellol Is that you Heald?"
Yes; whose calling?"
This is Shurter.
Hello. old man, what can do for
your
- wanted to ask you about that mat
ter we We're talking about last even
ing"
The conversation was then devoted
to the discussion OF private business
At the close of the conversation Mr.
Heald said:
"Shurter. did you know that was
great Bible scholar?"
81 did not"
We'll. l am, and l can quote whole
chapters fhrom the Books of Psalms
without making a break"
Il don't believe it,"
Il toll you what | will do l will
wager You that can at this time and
sitting at this phone quote you any
chapter or verse in the book"
81 will accept your wager and ask
you to quote me the first three verses
of the second chapter"
While Mr.. Shurter was talking Mr..
Hcald turned back to the chapter
named
Are you listening?' said he.
81 am" said Mr.. Shurter.
without a moments delay the words
Of the Scripture were waited over the
wire to the ear of the amazed listener
You win acknowledged Mr.. Shur-
ter. But tell me, are you fitting your
self to enlist with General Ballington
Booth in the Salvation Army?"
you lose. Shurter," was all the re-
ply Mr. Heald made as he hung mp tn,
| receiver
Evening journal., 1902-05-02

Time was when Lewes was handi-
capped in competition with other
towns for the consideration of manu-
facturers about to establish factories.
Now she is well fitted to Accommodate
any such interests that wish to settle
in a wide-awake community where
the best conveniences and modern
methods are to be enjoyed. In order
to continue on the road of progress
and development, Lewes should at
tract outside capital. and some syste-
matte plan with this end in view should
be adopted and carried out by the
Board of Trade. The foundation has
been laid-our citizens have done IL
themselves out of their own pocket
and to halt now in the fight for SUI
premacy would be like filling a store
with goods and slamming the doors
in the faces of prospective buyers
Outside capital must be attracted here
/ and the sooner work in this direction
Is successfully started the sooner will
Iewes be named among the busy cities
OF the East.-Lewes Pilot
Evening journal., 1902-05-02

would bring the whole army and the
Administration into disrepute because
it Is alleged that certain per
sons wearing the uniform Of our army
have disgnced It, Here Is the line of
argument: There are rumors OF out
RACES perpetrated; therefore they are
true. Being true, they reflect on the
whole army. and discredit the Admin
istration- We might extend thts line
of reasoning to other cases. For in
stance, Bryan was a Democrat. and was
responsible for the free silver heresy.
Therefore all Democrats We're guilty of
the heresy, and this locates the Every
Evening.
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
DuskY scOrcher Cause TrOubIe

The Wayfarer was much amused at
a war of words between cOlored
man with a bicycle and a white man
at Sixth and Market streets yesterday.
The colored man was riding down the
street at a good speed, when he col
lided with the white man. In an in
slant both were in a mix-up in the
street.
The colored man regained his feet
first and began to berate-the other
man.
Whats you mean by Citing in my
way. didn't you see me coming down
dis street2"
The white man was so taken by
that he could not answer for
a moment. but finally blurted out:
why don't you look where you're
going"
Il was looking, but you jumped
right in front oh me befoah | could
git past"
1T was your fault, and have a no
ton to punch your head" said th'
white man. "and then you'll know
better than to run into anybody else.
The colored man did not seem in
humor for a scrap. and before the othel
man could get his hands upon him
he had mounted his wheel and wa
speeding down Market street.
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
SCOOPS AND IsAKEs

The Dover correspondent of the
Every Evening is responsible for mis-
leading statements regarding other
correspondents in that town. This is
not good newspaper ethics. and il
shows a spite that is petty He writes
that fake correspondents have sent
out a story that the Governor had re-
fused TO honor "A New Jersey reQuisl-
tion in the Stanford case, and that the
Governor denies it, AS a matter OF
fact. no correspondent in Dover, and
There are several good ones, sent out
that the Stanford case had gotten as
far as the Governor, but that Sheriff
Reedy and several other officials who
had been turned down twice in New
jersey. would contend that condi.
ton Of State comfy did not exist be
tween the States by reason of Jerseys
twice refusing to surrender tine sever
fishermen wanted in Delawar.
Every paper that wishes to hold ua'
esteem of its readers desires truthful
reports from its correspondents. AMI
il will back themup they are viii
fully misquoted and misinterpreted. w
are aware that there is a great deal o
fake correspondence coming from Ger
tain peninsular towns, but we ,ar
pleased to know that il is not comin
our way. 1t must be remembered tina
exclusive news is not necessaril
fake" news
Evening journal., 1902-05-02
pr. short,s AprII Weddings

The Rev. II. B. Short makes the fol-
lowing report of marriage ceremonies
performed by him during the month Of
April:
Charles Heinmiller and Sarah Ward.
William IL. Suter and Edna G. Bow
din.
William II. Hurley and Ida e. News.
Peter ]. Edmond and Beulah V
Comfy.
Robert Bowen and Maria Wilkinson.
Robert Oliver and Estelle Marshall
Rama Howell and Cora Rieder.
:. Luther Mckee and ). May Fighter
William c. Mearns and Bertha IL. Al
len.
Evening journal., 1902-05-02

A prominent Wilmingtonian, who
never fails to see. either in New York
or Philadelphia, the best plays and
theatrical productions, in speaking of
Miss Henrietta Crosman, said yester-
day THAT not before this season and,
indeed. not for many years, have the
people of Wilmington had a finer,
more artistic and more enthusiastic
producing performance, than will be
given by Henrietta CrOsman at the
Opera House tomorrow evening. In
the double bill she will present in
Wilmington, l have seen her, and can
safely say that a more delightful per-
formance I have never witnessed in
any large city or by any other actor
and actress. The people OF Whining
ton may not know that Madeline is
a dramatization of Victor Hugo's
wonderful play of The Bells played
for so many years, and with such un-
varying success by Henry Irving and
other great actors. The piece has beer
specially arranged for Miss CrOsman
and / am sure when the performance
is over. her success and triumph oven
the emotions of the audience will bt
so great and so complete that there
will not be a hand that will not be
aching with the applause given hel
and eager to clasp in admiration hel
own. 1t will be a shame, as we'll az
la lasting regret to those who do no
60. if the Opera House is not crowded
from pit to dome"