Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-11-19
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Can she remember what happened
on her twenty-sixth birthday?' "Yes.
she was just Acknowledgements
Statesman.
Judgc-I see that Willie Swellton has
given up automobiling. Fudge-When
will the funeral take place?-Baltimore
Morning Herald.
Gladys-That poor young Snobleigh
actually dared to kiss me! What could
he have been thinking of? Ethel-His
debts, probobly."-Puck.
do you believe that the rain falls
alike on the just and unjust?" mot
bit of it. The unjust have the UNI
brellas. Detroit Free Press.
Bachley-Why is woman like time?
Benedict-Because she never fails to
get her man in the end? Bachley-
No, because she reveals all things.
A harassing doubt: "Oh, maggie, IL
could only make myself believe dat
he loves me for myself, an not because
me mudder keeps err fruit standW-Ba-
Ear.
~ wonder how Venus de Milo came
to lose her arms.'' Broke 'em off,
probably, trying to button her shirt
waist up the back.'-Philadelph
Press.
In cemetery at Middlebury, VT, is
stone erected by widow to her low
ing husband, bearing this inscriptions:
"Rest in peace-until we meet again."
Life
What has made her so naughty and
proud?" ''She thinks she's n Daugh-
ter of the Revolution" How is that?"
"She went round in the Ferris wheel"
Chicago Evening Post.
Jaspar-What are you looking so an.
noyed about? Mrs. Jaspar-I expected
days rest, and didn't get it. This Is
the cooks day out, but she insisted in
staying at home.-Judge.
First Belgian Hare-We aren't in It
these days. We're forgotten. What
can we do about 1t? Second Belgian
Hare-Wed better try some good hare
restorer.-Chicago Daily News.
Bizzer-It makes my wife angry
when l refuse to let her have the last
word in an argument. Buzzer-Why
don't you let her have the last word7
Bizzer-Well, then she says am afraid
to argue with her.
Kind Lady-Would you like stick
of candy little boy? Chimmle-Nit!
I'm in trainin' ter lick Mickey Welsh
mex week; but IL yer want ter blow
yerself to t'ree-pound porterhouse,
wy, I'm on.-Judge.
See here" protested the charitable
man, you touched me for a quarter
last week, and here you are again"
"Well, gee whizz!" EXCLAIMED the beg
gar "ain't you earned anything since"
Philadelphia Press.
How do you like my racing auto
mobile?" asked the young chauffeur;
don't you think 1t is hobby? I think
it is perfectly killing" responded the
friend, who knew thing or two about
the machines record.
BOrem-l'm something OF mlno
reader. Miss Hittem-Indeed! Borem
Yes; can usually tell at a glance
what person thinks of me. Miss Hit.
tenn Wonderful! But don't you find 1t
awfully embarrassing
He-Yes, he was great ae>Snaut.
They say he made nearly saandred
ascensions, and the only accident he
ever had was the one that proved fatal.
She-Really? And on which Of the as.
tensions did that occur?
Bridget-Oi can't stay, ma'am, onless
We give me more wages. Mrs. Hiram
EQften-What! Why, you don't know
how &c. cook or do housework at all.
BrIdget- That's just 1t, ma'am. aphot
knowin' how, sure the wllEkl.i Is all the
harder for me, ma am. hiladelphia
Press.
WELL" said the lady who was en-
deavoring to give the widow consola-
ton OH the way home from the GENE.
terry, .'the worst is over now" I'm
afraid not" answered the afflicted one;
"the lawyer says there's bad flaw in
one of the insurance policies. Chicago
Record Herald.
Tess-He used to take me to the
theater every other evening or so, but
one evening when we We're sitting in
the parlor. foolishly allowed him to
kiss me. Jess-What has that got to
do with the theater? Tess--Wcll. now
he wants to sit in the parlor all the
| tive philodo1nhIo prnSs
| An Extremist: is Mr.. Fuse much
afraid Of microbes?" well | should
say; he washes the antiseptic gauze
| glovos.ha wears In an intIseptic fluid
before he even handles the sterilized
glass that contains the boiled aud fiji.
tered mineral water he intends to
drink!r-Baltimore Herald.
! Mr.. Morris Fairarmour (of Chicago,
angrily)--What do you take me fora
savage? I'm paying enough for this
| steak to have 1t cooked, guess. Take
it back and have it well done. The
Waiter-Beg pardon, sir, but that will
be fifty cents extra. Mr.. Morris Fair
armour-What? You robber! What's
that for? The Waiter--We burn coal.
you know.-Town Topics.
"In connizance OBJ de fac dat to-mor-
row am washday wild great many
OBJ de sistern OBJ dis congregashun,"
said Parson Henrust at the camp meet
ing, de congregashun will now please
arise in dey seats an jne in singin'
dat OF hymn 'Bringin' i'll de Sheetsg
Let de orchestra Baltimore
| News.
New Power for n Mill.
Probably the only mill in the world