davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

A GIRL is not necessarily an angel
just because she is always harping on
something or other.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

IT'S PECULIAR that trolley car pas
sengers are shocked most when the
current is shut off.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

NOWADAYS WHEN girl says that
her face is her fortune she generally
remains single.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

THE GIRL who is always laughing
generally has either a dimple or pref
ty teeth.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

A MAN has to make name for
himself. Ali a woman has to do is
get married.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

"KUNNEL," said the colored man,
''is dar any chance of dis law fob
electin' Senators at de polls goin'
through 7"
"Not immediately" answered the
statesman. care you Interested? 7"
eyes, sub. I is interested very
puhtickler. If de price of meat an
cohn keeps COINS up, I dunno what
us folks is gwine ter do unless he gets
a few mo- elections"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

THE AVERAGE woman can run UP
a bill without getting out of breath.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

"Do YOU know, Colonel" said the
beautiful grass widow, that I had a
strange thrill the fsrt time you and
l met"
so did l." he answered. cit was
just like one 1 had once when fire
broke out in a hotel where was
stopping. 1 was on the tenth floor
and ran to the window to see if there
was fire escape. There wasn't"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

THE only way to profit by advice
is to be lawyer or doctor, and sell it.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

FARMER HoRNBEcK-"Ye didn't
get no gold bricks this time did ye,
Si?"
Farmer Flaxseed (returning from
the city)-"Nope. Didn't even see
one of them fe1lers that we used to
buy from"
Farmer Hornbeck-"H Huh New
York amt the city she used to be 20
years back-is she, Sir"
Farmer Flaxseed-"Gosh ding it,
no Why, now ye can't even spend
yer own money like ye want to.
Mought as we'll stay home and buy
lightning rods with it, eh?''
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13
WORRY AND INDIGESTION.

Worry, says Physical TainiMg, is
but one of the many forms of fear so
that worry tends to the production of
indigestion. Indigestion tends to put
the body of the subject in a condition
that favors worry. There is thus es-
tablished vicious circle that tends to
perpetuate itself, each element aug
menting the other. 1t is necessary to
secure a cheerful, wholesome atmos-
phere for the dyspeptic. He should
eat his meals at table where there
is good fellowship, and where good
stories are told. He should himself
make a great effort to contribute his
share of this at the table, even if it
be necessary, as it was in one case
under my care, for him to solemnly
and seriously collect funny para
graphs from the press, and at first in
terject them spasmodically during
lulls in the conversation at the table.
The very efforts and determination of
the man to correct his own silent
habits at the table, to correct his feel
ings of Encouragement and worry,
were in themselves promise OF sue
cess. The effort made was adequate
to the obstacles to be overcome. He
succeeded, and the spectacle of that
man trying to be funny at the table
when he felt thoroughly discouraged
and blue, is one I shall never forget.
Laughing is in itself useful exer-
else from the standpointof indigestion,
says the Dietetic and Hygienie Ga
gette.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13
HE LOOKED LIKE A LION.

That brought on more talk, and, of
course, reminded Colonel Ches How
ard of an old friend down in some
Georgia county who was very fond of
himself. He would dress up dandily
and stand in front of the mirror and
say: "Ah, you facinating wretch,
you p' One day he said to his negro
valet:
"Tom, how do l look ?"
"Marster, you looks like er lion,
sab /"
"Where the hi did you ever see
lion?"
Down heah in Marse Tobe John
sons paschur, sab p
"You scoundrel, that was jack
ass |"
Kant he p dat, Marse Bob, "you
sho'ly looks jes' like i'm !"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-12-13

THOMAS NELSON PAGE once told
this story to illustrate the gift of
after -dipner speaking, which gift he
said he envied, but did not possess :
can English bishop was travelling in
third-class carriage with an individ-
ual who was swearing most tremen-
dously, originally and picturesquely.
Finally the bishop said to him: my
dear sir, where in the world did you
learn to swear in that extraordinary
manner?' The latter replied: 1t
can't be learned, it is gift. +"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

PURDY, January 14-Chris. o. Hedge
sou Is In La Crosse on business. Anton
Olson is attending the store. Melvin
Peterson left on Monday for Firoqua TO
sort tobacco. {. Amanda Forum is work
Ing for Mira Heigeson. !. /. Oscar Monson
of Knute Hollow, and Tom Anderson
were Purdy caller. ON Monday. i. #. Those
on the sick list are Halver Olson, Frank
randle, Albert and Mary Brzezowsky,
Emma Peterson and Albert Erickson.
The latter is on the mend. Sam Sor-
enson and John Erickson were in Viro-
qua last Monday with hogs, which sold
for 1915 Jacob Goeldie, Andrew
Larmo and c. p Hage have delivered
their 1901 tobacco crop. Those done
stripping are John Erickson, Halver
Olson. Grant Cox, Halver Halverson,
Leonard Engler, Jacob Erickson, Ole
Triggstad, Ole Olson and A. l. McLees
-. Prof McCalps entertainment at
Purdy. Friday night, was largely at
tended Mccall is u very good violinist
His purpose Was to organize class in
short method arithmetic, but on account
OF sickness in our community there was
not enough present to organize. :. R. 2.
Johnston made flying trip to South
Greek on Sunday. Mary Brzezowsky
visited with Misses Annie and Tena
Triggestad, Sunday .. Willie and Leo
Brzt zowsky made flying trip to Vic
tory :. John Brannon of Victory ridge,
called at Purdy last Friday; also Bert
Collins. SNYDER.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Written for the Ce nsor-
MY HERO.
BY BOB o'LIaK.

Now bully for you. as good as you re true
And true a. the steel that's been tested.
II leader had ten just as mettlesome m en-
He could clean out the dens long infested.
Six youngsters to feed. but they suffer no
need,
Though heand his wife are near fifty
They're up with the lark and at labor til
dark.
Industrious, frugal and thrifty.
BE can pass by the shop, where they license
tae DROP,
His nights with his family spending;
his word is his law, without failure or flaw
And never 10 fslsehood extending.
He keeps but one COW. IN a lot they can't
plow,
Hut tell you thai COW is treasure
His ONE is so neat and his babies SO Nv set
To kiss their red lips is a pleasure.
Tvo doll rs day is my hero's full pay
Yet he saves quiz e a sum from that pittance
To purchase his cot and the pasturing lot,
Ard monthly he makes remittance.
All are decently clad with the best to be had,
For conforf, not ornament solely
They are trained for life that is strong
without str ife,.
Respectable tho Il is logly.
They honor aud love the Go I'd Father alb We,
Fulfilling the claims OF their station
My hero safe with the best In the state
such homes are the strength OF the nation
Viroqua, Wis Jan 1902
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
First publication January IS, 1909 d.
PROBATE NOTICE.
Iniice of annllnation Coz proof Of

Notice OF application for proof Of Will.
VTEkNOS COUNTY COURT - IN PROBATE.
State Of Wisconsin. Vernon County. ss
In the matter of the last will aud testament Il
ChsDe 4. Munro, deces ed.
Whereas An instrument. in writing, purporting
Il, be the last will and testament Of Chloe A.
Monro, deceased, late OF the town Of Wheatlau4.
Vernon county, Wisconsin. has been nled IN
this Office:
And Whereas, Application has been made py
Geo. ge Il. Mouro. praying that the sans
be proven and admitted TO probate accOrdlngto the
laws OF this state. and that letters testamentary
be granted thereon according TO law:
Il is orc cred that said application be heard
before me, at the probate ON e. l. the CITY of
Vlroqua, on the 4.a day Of March, a. D.. 1907.
ii 10 U'clocs s.. IN.
And It Is further ordered. that notice Of the
time and p see appointed tor hearing said sppii-
cation be given TO all persons interested, By
publishing a copy Of this oreer far three weeks
successfully IN the YsruOn Couaty CsHs.r, =
nesE spss er printed IL sad county, pregIOss to
said hearing
Daued thls l4ih day OF January. 1919.
B III Coert. d. y. MAHoSER. Coanty Judge
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Tenehers 70 Meet Al Rsadstown

Supt Gardner announces a teachers
Association for Readstown tn be held
saturday, January 25th. Following is
the program arranged
Roll call. Respoad by quotations from
Evangeline.
Glass exercise In geography. Lesson based
on parag raph Isl OF the Manuel 10th edition.
-Elma " ilsuu. Sarah Mill9.
The new graded school Law; (bl Course of
study. o. Common schools, high schools
I'D should the Law be revised.-John DeLacy,
Fetty
Glass exercise In primary form langus &c;
reading as a basis fer language. See Manuel
paragraph and s.. doth edition. Bessie
Cowden, Anna Sviggum
How and IN what grades shall peumanship
be taught-Nina Williams Gertie Haggerty
An exposition OF the United States land
survey-W +. Gore, charles Ames,
lass exercise IN Elements of Agriculture.
study chapters and Practical Agriculture
by James.
Members viii be selected from the asscia
ton.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
'fk"p1 d MARktfr.
disqualification January Il, 1902, "A.
PROBATE NO rICE.
Order limiting time aud no h

Order limiting time aud no ice
rINHE STATE OF WISCONSIN, VERNON
4 County Court In Probate.
In the matter Of the estate of Tobias Ca M
chsel, deceBssd
On the application of A. 7, Carmic1 ael, ex-
ecut r Of the esta Of Tobias Carmichasl late of
Vernon county decea ed, no one having rtauir-
ed the appointment of commissioners Ia receiV g,
examine and adjust claims against said estate.
II is ordered. That six months from and Ger
the ate OF this order ID is h4reny fix ID
the time within which all creditors are reluust
to present heir claims and demands against the
said Tobiss Ca mich ell deceased TO the con pty
conrt OF Vernon county, for examination and
allow ance.
l. Is further or1erei That sill claim, and de-
mands so presented viii be examined aud adj
Jnsted before the said county court. at Us c1urt
room in the court no Ise in the cit5 of vi roqua,
IN SAD county. on tie first Day Of tue reguiar
term the 4, ap ,oiated h bs 1eid On the first
Tuesday OF August 1902 and all Creditors are
hereby notified thereof
IL Is further ordered, That noti3e of the tim 81
witnin which creditors ~ pres5ns6heir claims
and demands and Of the time when the same
Will be examined ard aoju listed by the c)u I, as
sforesa d, be given by Publishing copy OF this
order for for succe ,sive weeks, once in each
wesk in the Vernon County Censor. newspaper
published In the City OF Viroqua, in said conn
Jy, the first public a ion to be made within NJ
teen DAYS from the date hereof.
L a ed. this q day nf January, 1907.
By the Court, d. o. NJ AHoSEY, OJun ~ Judge
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
STERLING.

PURDY, Jan. 9.-Tax Collector Hal
version was here on Tuesday and took in
tax money &C. o. H-igeson, our new
merchant is enjoying good trade.
The M. w A. installed their officers
last Saturday night. They had an
oyster supper and wound up with a
little dancing Joe. For. yth was seen
in our burg this week. j. Brzszowsky
is kept busy shoeing horses Mary
Brzez9wsky is visiting in La Crosse
J. NJ. Bennett called on our merchant
yesterday. Lewis aud James Bren-
nen of Victory, passed through here en-
route for the Hub city A. III Forum
was here yesterday, trading with Hel-
gesor Mt. and Mrs J. r. Cox aui
Master Warnie of Red Mound, attended
the NJ. w A. installation. Tobacco
stripping - all the rag. Hans p.
johnson of Forum Ridge, called here
Yesterday .Knute Monson and son
Oscar traded with our merchant. >.
Hen fruit seems to bring good money.
Herman Cresten and Elias Tryggestad
made trip TO Newton. Uncle Dick
Collins responded 10 the tax collectors
call and came up aud paid his taxes.
Elias TryggesGsd steps pretty high. He
respon Is to the name of dad. !. Mon;
Larson and wife ha business at Purdy
this week SoRoso
hNUTE HOLLOW, Jan. 10 Andrew
Luude deliv red his tobacco crop last
Friday to NJ. Fl Bekkedal Sam OF
tum and Hans Johnson are busy strip-
ping tobacco Knute johnson has fir :
lshed, He has a fine crop and sold il
1o3 cents straight Oscar Monson and
his sister are staying at home for the
present. Oscar Horribly and Errett
Tower of Rush Greek, visited with Mon
sons on Sunday They left there for
Nnoqua to sort tobacco >. Kiah Otteson
is visiting with her parents. :. Oscar
Monson Is talking of going to Viroqua
We can't all go away and leave the girls
to quarrel by themselves.
SNOW DRIFT.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

AVALANCHE. Jan. 12-ThA dance
given by Woodmen WAS we'll atteldpd
Everybody had good time Mis-
Maud Allen is working for . N Wig.
Mr. CsirI, the miller. has got seven
new fiorr boilers which he is putting il
the mill =. Mr. CARTS d eughter arrived
from McGregor last week. .Gunder
Kalvestrand is visiting relatives &C @ sh.
ton. Several of the farmers are deliv-
ering tobacco. Lewis Larson and Olaf
Johnson went to Sparta but returned
last Wednesday . Charlie Berg has re
turned from the west after three years
absence. =. . Martin Berg has rented o.
J. Buros' farm for the coming summer
49,. Mrs Gyds Tostrud is visiting her
mother, Mrs Kalvestr1nd
COPPER MINER.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
A Profitable Inyestmeut.

II was troubled for about seven years
with my stomach and in bed half my
time" says E. Demick, Somerville Ind. /,
Il spent about 81, 600 and never could
get anything to help me until / tried
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure / have taken a
few bottles and ain entirely we'll. " You
don't live by what you eat but by what
you digest and assimilate. If your stom-
aeh doesn't assimilate your food You are
really starving. Kodol Dyspepsia Cur
does the stomach's work by digestln
the food. You don't have to diet. Eat
all you want. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
cures all stomach troubles. A. ]. john
s0n
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
wHIrEsTowN.

RoCKToN, Jan. IA Ham Cowan is
recovering from scarlet fever :. Chris
Setback has moved into his new house
and his son Will and wife reside in the
old one. Scott Earll and wife have re-
turned to their home in Madison, after
spening two weeks with Mrs. Earlls
parents Eta Marshall visited her
sister at Star last week. Anna Heisel
returned from Rea1stown, Saturday. -.
Peter Adams and wife are the happy
parents of nine pound boy Sarah
Sanders is still under d.. Eschs' care
Her complete recovery is doubtful. Mrs
Sarah McVey Is staying at the home of
her daughter, Mrs. Win Setback.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
a Profitable Investment.

Nine boys out of ten have greater joy
in the ownership of their first watch
than any thing that comes into their
possession. Even the first pair OF red
topped boots, or the first pair of suspen-
ders do not excite quite the same rapture
in them. The first watch inspires GER
tain ambition toward manly characters
in the acknowledgment of responsibility
that goes with il. The first watch is q
true missionary. Jos BOEHRER.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Iust Ordinary Laughter

Laughter increases the blood circula-
ton.
Ii enlarges the heart
1t expands the luESs.
Is jiggers the diaphragm.
1t promotes dieuiation of the spleen.
Ii produces a mental exhilaration
which acts upon the syst I'm much as a
brisk run ia crisp atmosphere does
upon the appetite.
Beware of theoloGians who have no
sense of mirth; they are not a together
human.
Keep your chin up.
Dent take your troubles TO led with
You; hang them on a chair " tn your
clothes or drop them in glass of water
with your teeth.-Ex
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Good RuIe to Observe.

No matter how the record may stand,
let us all get together and settle our
business transactions now as early as
possible. Life is short, you know, and
1t isn't a pleasant duty for those left
behind to pore over a lot of complicated
accounts to find out how much we are
worth and how We stand with the would.
These are matters 10 be attended 10
promptly each year. Would 1t not be
wise TO give this attention now2 1t Is
Certainly good business policy.-Ex.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Oscar as a Relic Pressrvsr

A telegram from Newaygo. Michigan,
says that .. K Cumm ngs has recently
come into possession of the bed used by
Gen. Z, 5, Grant at lis old home in
Galena Ill The bed il now on exhibit
ton in Mr. Cummings store in Neway.
go, and it viii be shipped to Grand Rap
ips, where it will occupy an important
place in the furniture exposition there
during this month. Oscar was q viro-
qua urchin some years ago.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
MAeRILI,

At the home Of The brides parents on the
evening ~ January HIN, Mr., FHANKLIN
GRoH TO Miss MARY o. SrRAIr, both III Yiro-
qua. Az me C CI'isinn of the very impress
sive nuptlhi ceremony tha guests, aoo.i5
forty, sat dOw1 t. IA 0siuntIful supper Droyid-
ed by Mr.. s,,td Mrs. William strait for the
ocras o =. Tar p essen were too numerous
to ntion, and lehjbyed themselves heart
lily. The MARI e ';,srenuny was pronounced
bt Rev W n. tlIIzhtot Inc happy cuaDit
viii make Nlro ItI% I'll -ir future home. They
ha ele good wishes OF many friends.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Have You Ktdner rroublee

v AK and unh, althy kidneys are re-
sponsihle for nj ny kints OF diseases
and if permitted continue much sn :
fsring with fatal results is sure to ~
low. In taking DeBen's Kidney Pills
you afford natural help ~ nature Tor
DeBell's Kidney Pills are the most per-
feet healers and gentle aid 10 the kid
news that ere known to medical science,
today. 25 cents per box. c. f. Dahl
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
ApproprIate 10 ihs flccasInn.

The thief who raided Editor Dugdale's
wood pile at Platteville. ON the night on
which the esteemed editor and his wife
were celebrating their wooden wedding
certainly entertained q regard for the
eternal fitness of things -Muscoda
Watchman.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
The Handsomest Calendar

OF the season Gin ten colors) six beau
tiful heads ton six sheets, 10x12 inches)l
reproductions of paintings by Moran
issued by General Passenger Depart,
ment. Chicago, Milwaukee g. S.. Pau.
Rail way will be sent on receipt of TWEEN
tv-five cents. Address f. A. Miller
General Passenger, Agent, Chicago
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

What you doin, neighbor? Helping
Bill. What's Bill doin'I Helping Man
iy. What's Mandy doinH Helping
mother. What's mother doin'f Taxing
Rocky Mountain Tea. Sensible family.
A 7 Johnson
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

We recommend every bottle of FL.
W. Bankers Cough Catarrh Consump-
tion Remedy. There is nothing ike 1T
for the cure of catarrh, coughs, colds
and la grippe. A j. johnson 81 Co.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
WATER TAX NOW DIE

desire to remind city water users
that water tax for the first half of
the year is now due and should be paid
to me. Please attend to this
W. f. FISHER, City Treasurer.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
Tohacco Growers. Attentionl

Use Msrshalls special tobacco paper
In bundling your tobacco. Eve-y bundle
labeled. Recommended by American
Cigar Company.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

The railways have adopted the auto
matte coupler, but clergymen still ad-
here to the plain gold ring.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

Don't moisten your food with the in
tention of saving your teeth. 1t spoils
the teeth and you soon lose them.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15

Feed Grinding and tath Saving.
At Riley's mill, Que half mile west
Browns mill, near Avalanche. Work
warranted. JOHN RILEY.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
MRS. WILLIAM GKEEV

BETsI Y ANN BABCoCk was born in Pfnga
county, Pa, Oct la46, and departed eIiss
life ia u. soGo January D. she was married
10 Nm, Green March %. 1861, To this union
were born four children Chester died when
three years old Her three living children
are Mrs l.. Davis OF ia 10 TN, 81 ntana
clarence Green and Afford Green OF CARR OH
Mountains she WAS converted and Joined tbs
Melhodist church in 1871 Mrs Green Was
well known here as devoted Christian wife
and mother, "a kind friend and neighbor : he
lie YES husband three children, a brother
and one sister with many iuved ones ;end
ncig hDors 10 MORN Their loss; but they
mourn not as those VINO have no hope, for
almost her last wor is were, "Ohi yes" when
her iStor d kpd II j sus was precious stir.
W. viii meet her again on Tie .nks uf ever
lasting deitverauce where suskue>s and death
arr uakuOSII, A.P
Near La Fargo, January end, PERRY NC
Henry, aEtd T6 Yeas lie caves a. IL 90
family OF vie, grown Sous nd daughters
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1902-01-15
DIED.
MRS. GEO b. CApE

MARIAN MuNYoai was born April 30 1883, in
Perry county, Ohio Came to Wisconsin In
1896 With her parents, aud was married to
Geo. b Cade October %, 1860. TO TINS union
We're given three chiidren-Eva, Thomas j .
and Edward b., who still survive her Mrs
>Cade AIDE a profession OF her faith IN Christ
and joined the NJ y church March O. 1877,
while Brother Mcmillan was pastor on he
work. she spent her married life in the
home where she departed this life January
1902 being SO years, months and u lys = d /.
Ser life and death impress us all with the c.
th3t this Is not our abiding place May G. I'd
help us to see to iG that We have our h lnse in
urdet when the Master calls Mrs GA q leaves
heart 1rok husband aud children, four
brothers and one sister and Il large circle OF
relatives aud friends TO mourn their loss
very large company attended the funeral
services which were held from the home NJ r
Liberty Pile, on Monday, January Ii Rev Il
j. " itherbpe ufic lating aud Undertaker p l.
yer In Charge of the funeral II wv