New-York tribune., 1902-06-25
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE London Speaker tells this story Of dis
cussiou at 4 university Debating society in which
1t argued that "f200 a year is the best income
for a bachelor" One speaker opposed the motion
in speech of some humor. His chief objection to
the estimate was that bachelor could not hope to
marry such income. Up rose fluent gentle
man from the East who to tatters the argu-
ments OF those who had opposed the motion with
tremendous fire and energy He kept tha previous
speaker the last and aunihated him in the fol-
lowing words: The honorable gentleman, sir. says
that bachelor cannot marry on zoo a year. But
allow point out the egregiouS TaIIacy under
lying the honorable gentleman's argument Sir,
maintain. hypothesi. and / respectfully submit
that my contention in no wise be controverted
that the moment bachelor marries. he. ipso-facto
ases-to-be-a-bachelor!' Then he sat down.
complacently smiling. amid a storm OF applause
Improved-Litte Patrick's father has struck 1t
duge in u severe attack OF pneumonia, Just for
change The DOCTOR an Feadns m 3 % ever ,ed Ie
cine? Patrick. what does this mean? Why ei did you
;.That's no reason said the doctor Why did you
do ~? Coz again said Patrick a mn must ohtor have
Well said Patrick. "becoz. then!'-tBcston Her
A Western exchange tells of the janitor OF city
school who threw up his job one day. and when
asked by a friend what the trouble was. said;
We'll it's this: In honest. and L won't stand
bein' slurred II l ever found pencil or anything
else in the school when l was sweepin' out al
ways gave II to the principal; but. just the same.
the teachers or some that's too mean to face
me, gives me the slur.'
In what way?" asked the friend.
Well, just this: a little while ago saw written
the board. Find the common multiple Well.
didn't say a word but l searched from garret to
cellar and l couldn't find the darn thing Well
again last night. in big wrtin on the same board
it said. Find the common divisor.' Well says
to myself says l. both them darn things be lost
now. and III get blamed for sweepin' en- so I'll
quit"
-, young man hsshfnlly; approached popular
"Judge. I have come to ask your advGe nS You You
now come to YOU in very important matter
am thinking Of getting married,-, -, ,,,ao .u, ,-o
ar thk dn OF eGg m r go mSbt dG II not b
But you see" protested the youth. I'm afraid
Tut tut" deprecatingly retorted the judge
Why, when en- got married was twenty-one years
rs that so?" exclaimed the other. with happy
suppose You must now Be worth aboui''-
And now" concluded the judge I'm only $500
The young man has not yet married.-Paducah
(Ky) Sun
Mr.. Ware. the Commissioner OF Pensions. re-
ceived a letter from a man in Illinois few days
ago which read:
II am now getting pension of $50 month Re
Gently the Lord has prospered me, and l do not
think I should get so much money gave my SER
vices the country, and / think l should have
some pension of course but L think $50 a month is
too much. Is there any way can have my PEN
sion reduced suspended while 1 enjoy the pros
perity that is mine at PRESENT."
This is the only request for a reduction of pension
ever received by bureau. 1t referred to the
pension examiner in the district which the man
lived, who reported as follows:
Il have the honor to inform you that the person
who applied for a reduction in his pension is now
in the insane asylum at this place, and has been
for time"
The Governor of shan-Tung, in obedience doubt
vnrthir ~ Of ii HING Chang We're the imperial
where paid each of the worthless whom the puis-
f5n IN Ghinaman wo5ild he as religious COR slper.
stitious) the ancient Athenians Fortunately for
pays but little attention these new gods lately
sprung up and restricts his devotions to few:
who for ages have had the reputation at least, of
making. themselves useful Even with regard TO
s If 1T ii Wers ny m t to- act on on the advice of
Mencius, to remove the incompetents and appoint
about this Joss pidgin'' is the pertnacty with
which the Chinaman contends for the function of
Dragon Throne.-(North China Herald.
out in the remote State of Washington. on the
Pacific Coast, the city fathers Seattle are con-
siderng of municipal revenue. So
many ping pong tables are in constant in that
prosperous community that the local legislators
P turn covetous eyes upon them. and may decide to
tax them for the benefit of the public funds. Here
/ is an example of thrift worth initiating.
light famine on June IS and y within the area Of
iumha tl9ns 9 Ihe number OF lamps that have been
and IL Is TO be feared that their candle power will
all turned on. For this reason many of the more
conservative firms in London are contentlng them
ment has been made in this direction OF recent
alA<Itrina1 1uumua tiQpS.-U~oudar EbXonicla.