The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1902-11-28
THE MORNING AFTER
WHY NATHAN BEEsWAx JOINED
TEMPERANCE RANKS.
Graphic Description Of Sensations Elk.
perieneed After a Night with the
Boys"-When Ice Water Tasted
Like Ambrosis and Nectar.

Follow citizens. I'm sick" said
Nathan Beoswax to circle Of ad.
mirers. There was too much refresh.
ment circulating last evening be-
gan with beer. shifted to old Pepper.
finally worked my way round to
humm's extra dry and then went OF
In trance. When / woke up this
morning ! thought I was somebody
else. caught n glimpse OF my re-.
nection In a mirror and my face
frightened me so | screamed. You
cant Imagine how / felt. because +
broke the record Of misery. No man
ever did feel like did and live. !
reached for the ice pitcher and tool, a
gulp. For n minute / thought I was
In heaven. That water tasted like
ambrosia and nectar Thirsty9 Don't
ask me trivial questions. The temper.
aturo In my system was 80 high that
my breath set my mustache on Gre.
Il was completely destroyed No In.
surance. / made four Efforts TO ret
out OF bod before I realized the fatu.
Gus fuullty OF essaying tho impossible
] moaned In my agony. was hot one
minute and cold the next. while a
cinmmy and continuous Precipitation
added Interest and enjoyment TO the
proceedings. Every little whilo strange
rigors would seize me and when l
dnaly dropped into a ntnil slumbcr
! droamod that an alligator was lying
beside me and tanning me with his
long rod tongue Nlghtmare7 No.
sir; this was an alligator. Holler?
Why. III bet four dollars they heard
me yelling on Edlsto island. Now
hearken to me: Nathan Beeswax, as
u booze comedian. Is no more. we
Joined the Apolllnaris brigade
you ONT"
How did you happen to accumulate
such a riotous jag, Mr.. Beeswaxy"
asked one OF HIS auditors.
We'll, the material was available.
my boy. and the time somehow seemed
70 be opportune. had been unhappy
for several weeks and yearned for
the company OF n few frollcling sen.
sations. wanted to feel glad, aa IL
we're. and forget about a bot made
on a horse last week that stopped in
tho stretch and asked for water.
opened the performance with beer,
but soon came 10 tho conclusion that
IL l wanted 10 experience that 10y
which passoth all understanding
would have TO switch. SO / chased a
whisper across the bar and bottle
of crimson fluid connected with my
good right hand. Fro long was too
merry for anything. Ny money also
began to annoy me. couldn't spend
Il fast enough and when met
stranger from Mount Pleasant asked
him II he would allow mo TO give him
$40. He said he would obllge me with
pleasure. but he'd like me better II
I'D make Il 500. Tho suggestion
pleased me so that wept from sheer
Joy and handed him the 500. was
now at the champagne stage OF the
game and the rapids were Just below
me. I vaguely remember meeting a
longshoreman and asking him who his
lfavorlto poet was, but | can't recall
what he said. Shortly afterward the
automatic piano began TO play The
Holy City and when the instrument
reached that Je.ru-sa.lem' note my
soul slipped out OF It's socket and
passed away. But this morning don't
worry. won't 90 over II again. Here
after address your letters TO mo IN
care OF the Total Abatainers' society.
Are you on? Then break awayl-
Chariaaton Naxva md Courlor