The Iola register., 1902-07-11

session of a ticket entitled them to act
like heatheh on railway trains. The
Katy has issued orders to trainmen tor
suppress rowdyism and II necessary
eject boisterous persons from trains.
Some degenerate sh OF through a.
window of farm house near McPher-
son and severely wounded Miss Maud
Holmes as she was doing up her hair,
preparatory to retiring. II was some
love-sick yap, doubtless, who had
despaired of making an impression
any other way.
Abilene Reflector: Colonel Fred
Close, the fusion candidate for lieu
tenant governor, will swell the Bour-
bon campaign fund by the contribu--
tion of $lf5, 900, 600 in gold shaIe
stock. Let's quit. When the gold
shale millionaires take the field
against us, what's the use trying.
An Osawatomie husband covered a
neighbor with a revolver while his
wife whipped him. The neighbor had
his baby in his arms. When it was
taken by by-stander he graf bbed the
revolver and shot the man. Why?
Just some pleasant neighborhood
gossip that everybody helped spread.
Last year the packers bought an
average of S33. 1913 worth of govern
ment stamps TO place on oleomargar-
inc per month. Last month they
bought just 1898 worth. The packers
are now planning to make and sell
white oleo, enclosing small package
of coloring matter which the con-
sumer may legally mix with the oleo.
The World elates that a little girB
attended the circus which was in Hia-
watha recently and approached the
cage containing the hippopotamusltoos
closely and was despatched with filth.
Mamma" she asked, "Did God
make that?" Yes" answered the
mother. "Then" replied the little one
Il won't go to Sunday School any
more"
The Neodesha Register declares that
on the Frisco road recently a Hat car
jumped out OF train and was not
missed until the train was checked up.
II is supposed the train was going
down hill at lively clip, something
broke on the fat car causing it &c,
jump the track, the rest of the train
remained on the rails and the cars
bumped together and coupled auto
matically.
The indianapolis Sun says that at o
recent church sale in that citv one OF
the articles offered was labeled
"Lady's skirt raiser" This fascinat.
ing description made the bidding
sharp and lively. II was finally
knocked down to young man for So.
Amid great excitement the wrappings
were removed and there was revealed
cute little trap containing two live
mice. They were safely in captivity,
however, and no panic followed.
The Mulvane Record tells a story
that is worth reading, if for no other
reason than test of credulity: A
farmer down there saw the grass and
weeds taking his corn because it was
too wet to plow. He went to town and
negotiated witha dealer who had Just
received a car load of fruit jars and
received the use of the jars for
couple of days. over each hill of
corn he placed jar and then turned
the cattle into the field and let them
eat down the grass and weeds.
The Joke is on the editor of the
Hiawatha Democrat. His wife put an
advertisement in his paper, '"Girf
wanted, " and in less than two weeks q
little Miss put in her appearance at
The EDITORS home. This" groans
the editor, "gives us family OF two
boys and two girls and wehave served
notice on the foreman of the shop that
he will lose his job If he allows any
more girl wanted advertisements to
get into The. Democrat. We know
when we have had enough"
AT Kansas City hotel stranger
registered from "Easy Money, Kan
sas." The same day another man
registered on the same page from
Hard Money, Kentucky" Neither
was joking. Easy Money IS in Leav-
enworth county. The incident moved
the poet of the Kansas City Journal
thus:
IN came the man from Kansas and he put his
And then behind it on the book wrote EASY
Money" that
Expected was when then he wrote the name
of kansas there,
And strutted through the once with a wheat
and corn belt air.
Then in came he OF Old Kaintuck and put his
name down TOO;
And when he took the pen up, why, "Hard
Money came in view.
"Oh, yes, - said he, ~ had come from Kansas
betcher hat
ia maieit easy Money" too, but how kin
do thaty
'Stil. reckon you ans glad TO know that we
all stand for gold
"Shake. pardner," said the Kansas man. I'm
with you: grab a-hodn
Then Easy Money led the way, Hard Money
followed fast,
To where the merry glasses click to make the
money pass