The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-28

both a Captain and a Professor. but his
Unsuitable Ambition Spurred him 10 go out
and gather other Laureis. so he ran for
Justice Of the Peace and was elected the
third time he ran because the other Can
didate pulled out. As Magistrate he be-
came custodian Of Law Book. a Checker
Board and a stack or Blank AffldaVits
Once every three months or so somebody
would levy on a Cow or threaten 10 As
sault. and then the Judge would get a
chance 20 operate his Craft But he
didn't care 50 much about the Income,
so long as he could be addressed as Judge
Re allowed his hair 70 grow into a long.
graceful Cow-Lick that kept falling into
his Eyes, and he looked al the Sidewalk
meditatively as he went over 10 the Gro
Gerry 20 get his Fine-Cut. Sometimes,
when he was far enough from Home.
those who met him and heard him called
Judge thought that he was on the Su-
preme Bench.
In the course OF Time he began TO crave
a Political Job. 50 he began 90 stump
he drove out 10 District School Houses
with the American Eagle seated on the
Dash Board OF his Buggy. and when he
got on the Platform he waved Old Glory
until both Arms gave out. All ~ which
went % prove that the Machine should be
kept in Power. After he had been spell
binding for a couple Of Seasons, a Job
Printer conferred upon him the Title OF
Honorable. Every time there was a jim
Crow Speaking then the Hon James Hen
r. Cuff showed up with his Voice in a
shawl strap and also a fine Assortment
of platitudes When the Congressman
wrote 10 him and asked him TO get the
Jlmnson County Delegates into Line. he
always addressed his letter TO The Hon.
James Henry Cuff. and IN the Course Of
Time Cuff began 20 believe.
But a Hrouder Distinction awaited him.
In view 81 the fact that he had plugged
Tor the Regular Organization and dsliv-
cred the Goods al the state Convention.
staff 10 is the duty Of a Colonel on the
Governors staff 20 ride in a Pullman
Car and take a BAH every time he IS
touched on the Back Colonel Cuff was a
Dream when he got into his s17S Uniform
With the Gold Braid rugged all over the
Front. He wore Chapeau similar 20 the
one worn BY Napoleon al Austerlitz. but
ne had on top OF IL seven Tail-Feathers
~ the Loo-Loo Bird, which rather laid
over anything that Napoleon ever wore.
And when Colonel James Henry Cuff in
his magnificent Regalla and smoking a
'acent cigar leaned back In an open Car
iage drawn hy White Horses. and al
owed the People 10 gaze al him. the
Grandeur o. the Spectacle made one for
set the real Horrors Of War.
Many ~ the ardent Admirers II Pro
lessor Guff and Captain Cuff. and Judge
Guff. and Colonel Cuff believed that he
had climbed 20 the summit Of Greatness
when ne appeared ~ his So Plume Not
so. One Year the State Militia was 10
have an Encampment. and the Governor
gave Colonel James Henry Cuff the JOB
or buying all the Beans. Fresh Beef and
other supplies. because there promised to
De a slight rske-off- Officially he was
known as the Commissary General
Thus IL came about that after Years OF
Endeavor, James Henry Cuff. who left
the Post a poor and unknown Boy. went
he
When his Daughters Went away 70
Boarding School and were introduced as
the Offspring Of General James Il. Cuff
they assumed social Leadership. Cen