Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-05-01
LIFE IN THE oZARKs.
Stage Coach Stories of the Land of Big
Red Apples.

Red Apples.
/ Riding for half day in stage coach
ever the Ozark hills there is little to do
except gaze at the ridges of mountains
pushed up like rows of blue amethysts
/ toward the sky, and to tell stories and
listen to the yarns of the other passen-
gers. This day there were four pas
sengers. besides the driver. One of them
was a clergyman, one was a CONNER
cial traveller one a lawyer, who was a
political campaign in the Ozark mount
ain districts. The other was news
paper man. The storytelling began
when the driver pointed with his whip
to the bare topped hill where the Ball
Knobber" band was organized years
ago. This led the lawyer to tell of see
ing several of those same Bald Knob
bers hanged at once from the same
scaffold in the town of Ozark.
Death in any form, but especially by
| hanging, is too solemn an occasion for
levity or humor," said the preacher,
but ! officiated at a hanging once in
Clay county and almost laughed aloud
in spite of myself only minute or two
before the man was led out to be
| hanged. Among those who came to see
him was one who had been his neigh
Dor and as he hung back in a corner
| and showed no disposition to speak to
the condemned man the sheriff urged
/ him to step up and bid the prisoner
goodbye and say an encouraging word
to him. The man stepped up awkward
| ly and bashfully, shook hands with the
man about to die and said:
"'Good-bye, Sam; take keer of your
self
"The idea of telling a man to take
care of himself who was to die in about
| five minutes struck me as being ex-
tremely humorous.
"At another time" continued the
preacher, Il was called to console a
man condemned to be hanged, and the
sheriff, wishing to treat the man as well
as he could, took him across the street
| to restaurant for his last meal about
half an hour before he was to be
hanged. The man would eat nothing
but ice cream and he ate six large dish
es Of that. one right after the other. AS
he was finishing the sixth dish the
sheriff, who was a noted wag, leaned
over and whisper behind his hand to
/
me:
".He's fixing himself for a hot cli-
mate
.'As the condemned man had shown
no sign of repentance for his crime and
had labored with him in vain this re-
mark by the sheriff impressed me so
with it's aptness and humor that
laughed outright. 1t was sacrilegious
I<1R 1H,,< r hoy
IT to save my life"
"That reminds me, said the CONNER
cial traveller, "of an incident that hap
pened over in Douglas county. was at
Ava, the county seat, and was in store
when farmer came In and told of the
death of neighbor who had the repu-
tation of being a hog thief. The man
said he died very suddenly and /, sim
ply to show some interest in the case,
asked:
WAS his death the result of any
general complaint
NO answered the farmer. There
was no complaint; his death gave gen.
eral satisfaction.
II heard of a young preacher" said
the newspaper man, who came down
into this Ozark country to take charge
of two churches, one of which was out
in the country. The first Sunday morn
ing he arrived he drove out and on the
way to the church he stopped in the
road opposite a log cabin in the door of
which a scrawny mountain woman was
standing smoking corn cob pipe.
"'Good morning, madam shouted the
new preacher.
Hello, bub.' she shouted back.
els the man of the house at home?
Ono, he's out huntin'.'
"'He doesn't hunt on Sunday, 1
hope?'
.'He suttainly does. stranger. Sun
days air his luckiest days
.Has anybody got religion around
here? 2 inquired the preacher in a panied
tone.
"Well, stranger, I'm not sure about
that They's a new family moved In
last fall acrost the erik thar and theysei
been down sick all winter with some
complaint Weuns round here KANT
make out what ails 'en. Maybe it's re-
ligion they's got"
The conversation shifted from reli-
acter OF the Ozark country and its peo-
pie.
"Its hard country to make a living
In" the lawyer said, land the impress
sion the first sight Of it makes upon a
stranger is often amusing. l have a
friend In Forsyth who is in the business
of selling farm lands to northern farm
ers. He sold one Of these hillside farms
to a farmer in Kansas, who paid the
money for 1t before seeing it. A month
or so later the Kansas farmer came
down to see his land, and the real es-
tate man gave him an abstract and
deed ia 1t and drove him out to see it.
1t was covered with scrub oak and bro
ken stones. The Kansan strolled around
for awhile and came upon a ground
hog, who scampered into his hole under
q rock. The Kansan knelt down and
peeped into the hole and then took the
deed to the land from his pocket and
slowly poked it arms length into the
hole, left it there and got UP and
walked away
"'Why. you're not going to leave the
deed there, are you? inquired the land
agent.
ct certainly am answered the man
from the fertile plains of Kansas. That
ground hog was here first, and if he has
contrived to scratch living out of this
patch of rocks he's entitled to deed to
it,'"
zone of the great characters of all