The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-05-17

t viii divide my congregation into
two, the converted and the unconvert-
ed" This proved too much for the
bishops sense of humor, and he esc-
claimed: 7 think, sir, as there are ONLY
two of US, you had better say which
is which. American Hebrew.
oh do you think this photograph
Quite does me justice, Percy2'
And Percy answered with a laugh:
Indeed, it does you mercy"
Philadelphia Record.
Mammy-Bless nah heartl If de
chile amt cuttin his eyetoothi
Little 'Rastus Gin alarm)-What's an
NGammy-Why, de eyetooth, chile,
watches cherry word dat yo' tongue ut
tehs. an cherry time yo' says bad
word it'll pain dat good eyetooth SO
much dat it'll ache TO two houahs!-
Puck.
1T generally takes three to make an
Argument dat amounts to anything"
said Uncle Eben. DE man dat listens
an let's de yuthuh folks git mad an
spread DER opinions is do one dat's
Ii bic to git de mos benefit. w ashing-
ton Star.
The man was running for Office for
the first time.
What are his views on the various
questions before the public?" asked the
unsophisticated voter.
His real views?'' asked the politician.
Certainly.
MY dear sir" explained the poll
tician, the only way to find that out
is to elect him. Chicago Post.
Probably nothing is SO expensive in
the long run as the common or garden
variety Of economy as practiced by the
amateur.=Puck
Why do you not produce more of
lous form of drama you offer2' We ask of
the great impresario.
4 have noticed" he explains, that the
people who are always wanting Shakes
perian productions are mostly the folks
to go to the theater. Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Visitor cat Chicago restaurant)-rhis
bill of fare is in French
waiter.9ss s sah bqt the prices is in
New York Weekly.
you are taking great deal of interest
Yes !" answered Senator Sorghum T
sort of thing. But I declare it's something
Of relief to get into a gathering of peo-
pie where nobody can make a political
speech or a touch for campaign fund
Washington Star.
Farmer Honk-I kinder think from
what I've been readin'. that William Jen-
nin's Bryan is slyly figgerin' on runnin'
Farmer Hornbeak-waal.o one good thing.
if he has another attack of the presi-
old reliable b1tters waitin' for him in the
battle-Puck
This very astonishing fact your find,
II on human nature You range
The man who often changes his mind
-BaItimoTe Herald
The average con. talk is as easily recog-
nized as a barber sign.-Atchison Globe.
He-You must remember dear. we are
just starting out in life and we must
she-But don't you think getting into
to econonize.-Puck
whenever I'm inclined to lose my tenn
per-" said the philosophic man. Z just
think to myself, oh, there's no use getting
So do T. replied the exeitable person.
and that makes me all the madder."-
I'VE have captured another Philippine
/ general, announced the boarder with the
I wonder. when wen capture private"
more generals in the Philippfnes fhan
there are colonies in Kentucky -Philadel-
/ phia Record
Willie-Papas if was twins would you
buy the other boy a banana, tooI''
Papa-Certainly. my son.
WIlie-Wen papa you surely amt 60
ing to cheat me out OF another banana Just
because I'm all in one piece.-Judge.
T suppose a public man has to read q
/ great deal said the thoughtful man
/ Yes" answered Senator Sorghum The
/ demand for anecdotes is so great now that
| a man has to keep digging in the library
/ all the time in order to keep Up the supply
of stores about himself w shington
Star.
stranger-What statue IS that being
erected on the square2
Citizen-That, sir, is the statue of the
Hon J. Mortimer Biggerton.
Stranger-One Of the Generators of the
Citizen-Yes. indeed. He paid for the
statue before he died.-Chieago News.
Every man might be gentleman if il
were not SO easy to be a hoodlum.-Chica.
go Record-Herald-
Tener-we would ike to have yor
McGinnis- this a .'morgue ?'-Judge.
George-What Is an heirloom2
Jack-A windmill, I suppose.-Princetor