davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1902-02-09
DINNER

dance held on a winter night IN wash
ington, or anywhere else, though | dare
say the poor coachman and the horses do
not appreciate it. AS for ourselves, We
went in an automobile, as Uncle G. posi-
lively refuses TO expose his men servants
and favorite pair to what he calls "a
tempest" The baby blizzard without
made the fower-decorated and scented
scene within all the brighter. and some
time during the evening | met most OF
the dancing men of my acquaintance
MY dear" l said as the most faithful
of my" diplomats assisted me into our
closed automobile on that remunerative
winter night in Dupont Circle. Here's to
Pittsburg the home of the Westinghouse
Knox and Carnegie. | feel exactly as
though / had been endowed with Ii
brary," At which statement my dip"
tried to look as though he understood me-
after all that Champagne-smiled feebly
and bumpty- bump Clara and | went home
ward over the snow.
That was a white ball-the bal blanc"
of Paris-and we girls bore away broad
streamers of ribbon on which our names
had been separately embossed in gold or
silver and our natural enemy, the youth
full married woman, was generally con-
spicuous by her absence, but there have
been numerous other occasions recently
on which we have felt the full force OF
her competition. | dare say it will in
crease as the day of the tableauN yivants
for which we are all rehearsinS, draws
nearer and, particularly. when it comes
to deciding on whom Prince Henry will
bestow the prize of beauty-a married wo-
man or a maiden. There is not doubt
whatever that we girls and the matrons
who really ought TO sympathiZe with us,
since they themselves We're girls like
ourselves-and some not so very long ago
are lining up in battle array. Here
and there married woman and girl
like myself strikes up 4 friendship and
Mrs. Gardenia has lately taken me up and
is insisting on seeing a great deal of me
at luncheon and dinner and tea; but, TO
be perfectly candid, | find her point of
view and mine so totally opposed that
the more / see OF that hospitable lady the
less | like her. and l am quite sure that
when Dick and / are married-but / am
anticipating Wherever ! go. afternoon or
evening-the morning at present is de-
voted to making up for lost sleep-I find
that l. as a maiden. and the Mrs. Gar
denias of society, cannot pursue the same
tactics. To begin with, IL is utterly out
of the question for me to have my dresses
cling like cerements" OF 10 wear bod
The Washington times., 1902-02-09
My Dear Fellow Americans:

My Dear Fellow Americans:
TOR first-class specimen of the
X pace that kills give me this Wash
/ ington season; never having ex-
perienced any other in the Capital
of our country am quite unable to com
pare it with those that have gone before.
All / can say is that since the charge up
San Juan Hill there has been nothing like
it in history, and If 1t were not for my
happy faculty of sleeping long and late
the morning after the ball and of even
taking sly little cat-naps when some man
who is having a heartt to-heart talk with
me in the cleaning is under the impress
sion that | have merely closed my eyes
the better to absorb what he is saying,
am quite certain ! should return to New
York-if l ever do return.-a perfect
wreck.
That reminds me that | am paying
Cousin Clara rather longer visit than
| intended, but she simply won't hear of
nv leaving. As for Uncle G, he has de-
clared that he intends proposing to
mamma that they should come to some
arrangement whereby should divide my
time equally between them. Just imagine
mammals mixed feelings of indignation
and pleasure when she hears this high
handed and yet iattering offer; and only
think what Dick would say! However l
have compromised by promising that l
shall remain here until at least after
Prince Henry has come and gone. Every
thing is now dated by Prince Henry's
visit. Even the Assembly, which is, Clara
tells me. usually considered final, is now
merely an incident, so far as | can gather.
Lent Will make very little difference in
any and all respects, save dancing. There
can be no dancing IN polite society in
Lent save at mi-careme-just a little too
late for a quadrelle d'honneur for the
nations distinguished guest.
But. In the meantime, how We do dance,
though, Since last writing to you have
been ur to all hours nearly every night
and even two nights in succession, which
| consider very inadvisable. When a girl
loses her beauty steep twice within
forty-eieht hours she shows very little
sasacity. and | have been taught to be
as careful of my complexion as of my
conscience. However, there was no help
for it. Cousin Clara insisted on my
The Washington times., 1902-02-09
New York. Feb. s.

A T that mecca for the fashionables
II and for those who like to observe
1 \ the smartly gowned-the opera
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Saving Expenses.

Hetty Green has achieved repu-
tation for parsimony, but her hus-
band was not far behind her. At
one time they were living in New
Hampshire and were the talk of the
town. The servant girl who lived
with them had great deal to con-
tend with and finally left when Mr..
Green would not have the wood acut.
She says that the pieces of..wood
we're too long to put into the stove.
and she objected. The wood came
in four foot sticks, and@MT. Green
declared it was a waste Of Honey to
hire a. man to chop it up. sasiEes 81
Swell, how can use ,thYm when
they won't 60 into the stogge p in
quired the servant girl. 49,
-"I'll show you," said MI. Green.
Then he showed a,four foot stick as
far into ting stove as it would go and
rested the end on~a chair baek.c AS.
the stick burned down he showed it,
a little farther into the stove, until
it, was smalPenough to go in entire
The servant girl gave. notice at
onee,-Exchange. -
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Lucky Mistakes.

AT the close Of the civil war Gen
eral, Shafter was an applicant for a
first. lieutenancy in the recognized
army and had working in his behalf
a congressman whose knowledge Of
army affairs was very limited. One
day this congressman sent him the
following message: Dear Shafter-
I have just returned from Il visit to
the secretary Of war. ] find that it
will be impossible to have you APP
pointed a first lieutenant, as that
rank IS now full. However, the sec
rotary is willing to appoint you a
lieutenant colonel, which is the next
best thing VIII that do?" A SIM
liar story is told Of an applicant for
a clerkship who wrote to his con-
gressmansin such a bad scrawl that
the request was supposed to be for a.
colonelcy. The congressman replied
that there was no colonelcies va
can't, but that he could secure a mar
jority,, which he did, and his. CON.
'stituent was. speedily transformed,
into a soldier of valor and expert
~ s =
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Leather For Decoration.

1T is said that leather has never
been so extensively used for decora-
tive purposes as now For many
years it was practically restricted to
dining room. office. and library
chairs and sofas and then was seen
only in its plain, unerbellished
form.
With the renaissance in house
hold art that began about twenty
five years ago came a more general
knowledge and appreciation Of the
sumptuous old Spanish and English
feathers that were seen on antique
furniture. and modern dealers set
themselves to work to emulate their
beauties if possible. As "A result
leather has become so beautiful that
it, expresses the highest thing at
tainable in household art in several
directions.
In many cases these feathers are
reproductions of the old Cordoyan.
so long famous, and even the soft
ness.of tone that in.fhe Gordovan is
the work Of time is faithfully copied
with good effect. iii
MANY kinds Of skin are used, as
Some are too coarse Of grain to be-
come flexible enough or to take the
finish demanded for certain purpos-
es. Cowhiae could not be. applied
to walls and screens. bit is perfect
~ adapted to chairs and coRehes,
The same is true of most sheepskin.
and great care is exercised in selec-
ton, before the coloring and decora-
ton are applied.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Buttons Made of MIX.

We're you aware of the fact that
buttons are now made of milk in
England? Old milk, too, that has
soured and is valueless so far as dali
ries are concerned. 1t is sent to
three large manufactures in the
east end of London and there
churned, very much after the man
ner of making cheese, into buttons.
This cheese is then put under enor-
nous pressure until every drop of
moisture is wrung from it, when it
is passed into a chemically heated
room. It is then, while under great
heat, bleached white and fattened
out ready to be punched into the
required shapes It is found that
buttons can be made in this way at
less than half the cost entailed in
manufacturing bone ones, and be-
sides never rubbing away they do
not change color. u
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
The Last Resort.

He visited noted specialist and
after waiting an hour had an oppor-
tunity to pay fee and narrate his
personal misery of insomnia. The
medical man listened and suggested
one remedy after another, with each
and every one of which the visitor
said he had 1'unsuccessfully expert
mented. Finally the specialist wfote
a prescription and handed it to his
patient. ..a -ss tss,
aWhat Is it inquired; the latter.
ooh, d bromide" said the doctor.
1T will benefit YOU
'FRatsn' said the other, dege1erat-
ingginto slang. 'Tried..em all. They
amt no good" further receding into
bad GRAMMAR 49,,
The doctor, evidently annoyed,
.bowed'~rnd. handing che man back
his fee. DESTROYED the prescription
and said, There's only. one thing
feft--xou had better try sleeping
cars..'--New York Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
A PINGPONG PUZZLE.


Whenever a new game is intro
duccd there is sure TO be play Of
some kind or other not covered by
the rules, and a game of pingpong
is now holding up a tournament un-
til 4 law is created governing the
point at issue.
Las, month a game was being
played OH a regulation table. A
chandelier hung over the middle Of
the table, and a ground rule had TO
be made. 1t was that balls hitting
the chandelier would be in play or
out of play according to where they
fell. Unfortunately there was no
rule about balls striking the gas
flame, which is one of the first con-
tingcncies which should have been
provided for.
1t was during a hot rally that the
celluloid sphere attempted to put
out the gas, and as the illuminant
was the more powerful the ball van
ished with a puff Of smoke. The
striker showed that the disaster
happened on his opponents side Of
the table and offered to play the
ace over again. His opponent de-
clared that as the ball did not drop
in the play he, won the point and
declined to play it over again, and
until the point was decided the
game and tournament will remain
unfinished, - Philadelphia Tele-
graph.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
RESPECT FOR THE LAW.

This tale was told by Judge Pen
nypacker in beginning response to
q toast at a Pennsylvania German
banquet in Philadelphia. The sto-
ry, he said, showed the readiness Of
the Pennsylvania Dutchman to obey
those in authority:
In 1864 Sheridan, under orders,
burned every barn from a valley
above Stanton to a certain point
below Winchester. A band of an
gry Confederates followed this raid,
watching for a chance to pick up
any stragglers. Among others who
fell into their hands was a little
Pennsylvania Dutchman, who quiet
ly turned to his captors and inquir-
ed:
"Vat you fellows going to do nit
me?"
The reply came short and sharp:
"Hang you"
"Vell," he said meekly, "vatever
is de rule"
His good natured reply threw the
Confederates into roar of laugh
ter and saved his life. -Philadel-
phia Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Mistakes Of story Writers.

Fasteners who write western sto-
ries for the eastern magazines are q
source of never ending amusement,
Recently We quoted from a story BY
Cyrus Townsend Brady, in Ahich
that author had woman perform:
the marvellous feat of riding on
horseback ninety miles in two hours.
This he accomplished by naming
two Oklahoma towns that distance
apart as her starting point and, 'des-
tination. Not long since an eastern
magazine contained mining story
which located a chain of mountains.
In Kansas about forty miles south
of Topeka. In the March Harper's
is an Oklahoma story by woman.
One scene is located in a camp, and
she has the Texas cowboys getting
out before breakfast is rub down"
their ponies, If a Texas. cowboy
should rub down his pony. the pony
would fall dead from sheer aston.
ishment-Kansas City journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
t6enator Bacon's Last Skate.

Ex-senator Bacon of Georgia is clean
shaver and baldheaded. Once when
a.young man he wore long FLOWING
side whiskers. When the roller skat-
ing craze of fifteen or twenty years
ago struck Georgia, Bacon was the
crack skater of his town. One night
herwas out on theafoor Of the rink
making fancy figures when two am
ateurs, hand in hand, bore down, on
him. He tried to get out, of the
way, but couldn't.
The two skaters bumped into the
embryo senator. One caught hold
of his whiskers on one side, and the
other took grip on the other side.
Yelling with pain, Bacon tried, to
shake them off, but they ,clung un-
til all three went to the floor to-
gether.'T as
Bacon got up, took off shis skates,
went home and shaved. Since that,
time he hasn't worn either. q, skate
or whisker. Baltimore News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
Importance Of Ventilated Closets and
of Airing Clothing.

A visit to modern day nursery
that is properly equipped gives
house mother many useful hints.
One is the necessity to keep wearing
apparel properly aired. In all well
conducted nurseries the clothes TAX
en- off from the child in the morn
ing and replaced by clean outfits
provided by the institution are we'll
shaken in the outer air, loosely fold
ed and gathered in an open bag
made of knotted cord. The bag is
hen hung out of the window or
sometimes in large, well ventilated
rooms filled with dry heat. At
night when the child leaves he is
dressed in these clothes thus fresh
ened. The process is partly to guard
against possible infection in the gar
SCENTS, but as we'll to air them thor
uughly and get rid of the close,
stuffy smell that clothing worn con-
stantly in tenement room, where
cooking, laundry work, etc, are carr
ried on, is sure to acquire.
Personal clothing in any home
should never be shut up in hermet-
ically sealed closets. No well train
ed architect now thinks Of drawing
a house building plan that does not
provide for ventilated clothes clos
cts. But houses built only few
years ago still have their series of
stuffy little boxes, alright when
the door. is shut, dark, bot, moth
breeding and altogether. the most
undesirable receptacle for wearing.
apparel or bedclothing that can be
imagined. Such closets may be.
somewhat improved by having the.
door panels taken out and fine
wire grating inserted that-vilf let in
air and little light and practically
keep out dust. Even then clothing
kept Id them should be constantly
taken out to the last garment and
the closet left wide open for two or
three hours to the sun and air be-
fore it's contents are restored.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Net Like His Father.

President Roosevelt was debating
an important letter to Assistant
Secretary Loeb when he happened
to glance out of the window and saw
his son Archibald chasing a badly
frightened possum. The president
dropped his work, went to the win
dow and watched the possum dart
into a clump Of bushes and slip out
in another place and escape.
Everybody has always said" re-
marked the president to Loeb, "that
Archie was not a bit like me. He let
that possum get away"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
ROYAL Simplicity.

Household fetiches among the
Bonapartes are the book and the lit
tie hat of Napoleon, that monarch
who worked harder than any dozen
men in his empire.
In Prussia they preserve piously
the breaches Of gray leather which
were worn by the Margrave Fred
erick. the founder of the Hohen-
zollern dynasty. They preserve with
equal reverence the cane which
Frederick the Great carried in his
battles, that same cane he had in
his hand when he died in his arm
chair, refusing with characteristic
force and obstinacy to die in his
bed.
The Russian court still guards as
if they were sanity relics the car
penter's tools which were once used
by Peter the Great.
And finally the court of Vienna
keeps in its most sacred treasure
house the horseshoe which was cast
by the steed of Count Rudolph, the
founder Of the Hapsburg dynasty,
at that epoch making moment when
he met the ENJOYS who had come to
announce to him his elevation to
the throne of the holy Roman en-
'rire.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
A GOOD CAMPAIGNER.

Senator Elect A1eCreary of Ken
lucky was in Washington few
days ago calling upon his old
friends in congress whom he knew
when he represented his state in the
house.
"McCreary was fine campaign
err" said Kentuckian. sSWhen lie
went the rounds of his district, he
kissed al the babies, praised the
cooking of the housewives, judged
the cattle of the farmers and adapt
ed himself to all circumstances.
One night he drove up to the house
of a farmer to stop all night, but
arrived after the supper hour. The
good woman of the house insisted
on getting him a supper, but he re-
sisted and said ne would take any,
thing cold that she had.
"She told him she had some cold
ham and cold biscuits and would
warm the coffee.
"sNever mind warming the cof-
fee, madam said McCreary. 4 pre-
fer it cold Next morning at break
fast the good lady handed him a
cup of sickly looking liquid, saying,
Governor, you seemed to enjoy the
cold coffee so much, saved some
for your breakfast Cleveland
Star.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Couldn't Hide His Jov.

It was a holiday. A man walked
into the business office Of a well
known New York newspaper and
handed the clerk at the counter a
death notice. OfAcourse that in il
self was nothing. strange, but his
manner was merry and inconsistent
'ly< So The clerk looking at him
rather strangely, he vouchsafed this
remark. accompanied with a re-
resounding slap on the shoulder:
Why, my boy. that was my mother
in-law.''
Whenethe Joyous. one left the Of
fee, he left the clerk III deep
thought, wondering if that was the
way mothers-in- law affected all men.
New York Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
He Didn't Speak.

Senator Pettus the other day arose
as if to address his fellow members,
and a hush Of expectancy at once
fell upon the chamber. Every eye.
was upon the venerable statesman,
who, with great elaboration, reach
ed around into the tail pocket of his
long frock coatssand drew forth
plug of tobacco. Unconscious of the
attention he was attracting, he bit
off chew and sat down without
saying word. Everybody smiled.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
CONDENSED STORIES.
How Peter Donahue Got One OF the
Pope's White Skullcaps.

His holiness, the pope, naturally
writes very little himself, says Lon
don NJ. A. p, and, indeed, is one of
the hardest beings in the world to
get an autograph from. One of the
most attached and devoted servants
he has in his household is an Amer
lean, who holds a position in the
famous guard. Peter Donahue-
that is his name-was anxious to
get something which would always
remind him of the pope, and he ask
ed for two things during one Of the
periods when he was on duty at the
Vatican. One was one Of the little
white skullcaps which his holiness
wears and the other was an auto
graph. The pope, who is very af-
fable and quite without airs with
those who are in his immediate en-
tourage, refused to give the skull
cap-perhaps there was some rea-
son of etiquette against it in the
iron code Of papal ceremony-but
he held down his head playfully one
day and allowed my friend to snatch
the skullcap. The autograph my
friend obtained by making out
check in the pope's own name 50
that it required the pope's indorse-
ment to be cashed. / saw the auto
graph. It was very small, very
round, very regular, not unlike the
autograph of Thackeray.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19

astical dignitary was regarded with
the uncertainty due to awe and ig-
norance. The bishop tells Of his
arrival. one day at the railway sta
ton OF, d town whertahe was to hold
services and where there had never.
been a bishop. He found the plat
form crowded with curious country
folk. sAs. he stepped frern,this car
the local clergyman came forward
and. shaking hands, Said, = Bishop.
I'm glad to see you. ! Whereupon a
small boy.in fhe crowd exclaimed III
torres Of keen disappointment:
."Pooh. It's only a man,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Love on the Farm.

She Don't say it so loud
We're too near that corncrib.
He-W Well, what of it?
She-Becauses full of ears, sill
ly!-C Chicago News
veeetafianism and Divorce.
Judge Halsey granted Mrs. Eou-
Use .Koss a divorce from Theodore
koss, d Grove. street seed merchant,
on the ground of cruel treatment,
the defendant having withdrawn his
answer and permitted the. to go
by default One Of the charges in
volved in this case is the husbands
insistence that his wife should live
the life of a vegetarian.
'sMy husband objected seriously
to my eating meat" said Mrs. Koss,
'Sand when / went out to visit
friends, sometimes to see my own
family, he suspected that | would
eat meat while | was away. He in
sisted on my getting home at Z
o'clock under penalty fAbeing lock
ed out. / never was home later
than s, and I was locked out two or
three times. / was not believer in
vegetarianism. Milwaukee Senti-
mel.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Their Idea Of Pink ano White.

The much discussed crimson
robes, which will make such rose
colored environment for the com
ing coronation in Westminster abb
hey, recall a dinner which Lady
Granville gave in Paris sixty-three
years ago in honor Of the young
Queen Victoria. Lady Granville
begged all her acquaintance to
come dressed in pink and white.
One old Portuguese lady arrived in
green, a. Partisan in yellow, two la
dies in mourning wore gray, but the
other 200 guests all appeared in
rose color. a
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
Mozart's Skull.

German scientists are said to be
searching for the skull Of Mozart,
which has been stolen. The story is
that the great composer died poor
and his friends did not even mark
his grave Only the sexton knew
the grave, and into his hands the
skull fell in a few years. His son
gave it to Jacobus Hyrtl, brother
of the famous anatomist, and to
this brother it in turn was passed
along. Then it vas given the city
of Salzburg, Mozart's birthplace.
In 1894 the skull disappeared. 1t
was found, but has now disappeared
again.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-06-19
A Caustic Preacher. :.

The Rev. William E. Walker is
about to give up the pastorate of
the First Congregational church Of.
Wilmette, H., and one Of the rea-
sons assigned for his departure is
that. the.women of his congregation
do not like his personal appearance.
The brushing of his hairin pompa
dours style, the minister alleges.
caused his trouble. 81 admit he
said tie other day, shat ] am not a
handsome man, and it is my expert
ence that many women would rath
er see a good looking man than hear
a good sermon"