Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1902-11-19
THE MORNING AFTER
WHY NATHAN BEEsWAX JOINED
TEMPERANCE RANKS.
Graphic Description of Sensations Elk
perlenced After a Night with the
Boys"-When Ice Water Tasted
Like Ambrosa and Nectar.

"Fellow citizens, I'm sick" said
Nathan Beeswax to a circle of ad-
mirers. There was too much refresh
ment circulating last evening l be-
gan with beer, shifted to old Pepper,
finally worked my way round to
Mumm's extra dry and then went off
in a trance. When l woke up this
morning l thought was somebody
else. caught a glimpse OF my re-
Election in a mirror and my face
frightened me SO | screamed. You
can't imagine how l felt, because
broke the record Of misery. No man
ever did feel like | did and live.
reached for the ice pitcher and took
gulp. For a minute l thought | was
in heaven. That water tasted like
ambrosia and nectar. Thirsty? Don't
ask me trivial questions. The temper
ature in my system was so high that
my breath set my mustache on fire.
1t was completely destroyed. No in
surance. l made four efforts to get
out of bed before realized the fatu'
GUS futllity of essaying the impossible
l moaned in my agony / was hot one
minute and cold the next, while a
clammy and continuous perspiration
added interest and enjoyment to the
proceedings. Every little while strange
rigors would seize me and when
finally dropped into a fitful slumber
| dreamed that an alligator was lying
beside me and tanning me with his
long red tongue. Nightmare? No.
sir; this was an alligator. Holler?
Why, I'll bet four dollars they heard
me yelling ON Edisto island. Now
a booze comedian, is no more. I've
Joined the Apollinaris brigade. Are
you on?"
FLOW did you happen to accumulate
such riotous jag, Mr.. BeeswaX?"
asked one of his auditors.
well, the material was available,
my boy, and the time somehow seemed
TO be opportune. had been unhappy
Tor several weeks and | yearned for
the company of few frolicking SEN
satlons. | wanted to feel glad as IT
were, and forget about bet | made
on horse last week that stopped in
the stretch and asked for water. |
opened the performance with beer
but soon came to the conclusion that
| If | wanted to experience that Joy
! which passeth all understanding
! would have to switch. So l chased a
whisper across the bar and bottle
| of crimson fluid connected with my
| good right hand. Ere long | was too
merry for anything. My money also
began to annoy me. | couldn't spend
| 1t fast enough and when | met a
stranger from Mount Pleasant | asked
him If he would allow me to give him
| $40. He said he would oblige me with
pleasure, but he'd like me better If
| I'd make 1t $40. The suggestion
pleased me so that wept from sheer
joy and handed him the $40. | was
now at the champagne stage of the
game and the rapids were just below
me- l vaguely remember meeting a
longshoreman and asking him who his
favorite poet was, but | can't recall
what he said. Shortly afterward the
automatic piano began to play The
Holy City and when the instrument
reached that Jerusalem note my
soul slipped out of it's socket and |
| passed away But this morning-don t
worry, won't go over it again. Here
after address your letters to me in
care of the Total Abstainers' society.
Are you on? Then break away!--
Charleston News and Courier,