Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1902-11-05

| Amerlcus is now entering upon the
best portion of the best street fair ever
witnessed in Georgia, Today all the
shows and exhibits are full and COM
plete and the people, unless it rains,
will be out for a good time along the
midway" line.
1t will be one of the best days OF the
week, and merriment will be at food
tide.
In order to get the most enjoyment
out of the fair one should observe as
far as possible the following little list
of ''donts" especially prepared for
such occasions.
Don't get angry during the festival.
Start this morning with the determi-
nation of getting all the fun out of the
Notification possible.
Get out of bed this morning on the
right side and persuade nature to
paint heavenly smile on your coun-
tenance, and after the artistic decora-
tion has been performed, keep the i'm
print of happiness on your face the en-
tire four days and nights of the festivi-
ties.
Invite your best girl to the scene of
revelrIes, and with her arm through
your left member, and your money
IN your right hand, indulge her in
everything her heart desires. 1t will
make her happy and give you an idea
of how pleasant it is to be loyal and
generous to the gentler and sweeter
sex.
Don't use sulphurous "cuss words"
when the demure maiden with roguish
eyes pelts you with handful of con-
fettl; simply await your opportunity to
repay the winsome damsel in her Own
coin.
Don't look daggers when the street
Photographic man hands you picture
of yourself. 1t may not be what you
thought you looked like, but his cam
era is to blame, not the man; for he
would paint you a perfect "Adonis" if
his apparatus would permit him.
Don't, when the fortune teller in
forms you that there is Gladly of ex-
quislte beauty" and superbly moulded
form, with 10000, 900 cash, coming in
to your life to lay the billion at your
feet, and that your eldest son will be
president of the United States, smile
sweetly as though you believed her
implicitly and when she says, zone
dollar please" refuse to pay her.
Don't inform the crowd around the
rack man that his wares are no good,
nor that the little rings will not by
any argument, go over the swell knife
that stands on the knife mans rack,
inviting you to cry for me" and by
all means take it cool.
When, after blowing on the Shit me
on the head with three balls" you are
simply handed bunch of ten for 5
cigars, consider that 1t is all in life
time, and that equanimity of tenn per is
better than riches.
Don't yell, murder, police, fire"
when the ubxiuitous small boys dis
play their wonderful lung power on
tin horns in too close proximity to
your ear, nor make kick at the
squawker man, the perfume squirt
man or the bladder mustache man
when thep present you with an illus
trstion of how their goods are worked
They are all looking for your enjoy
ment and desire to make you merry.
Don't, when the exhibit man moves
the crowd into his tent, be backward,
but go up quickly and produce for him
the admission ticket. When the plat
form man shouts out his wonders of
the ''freaks, give op at once.
It will tell the world that you are a
student of nature.
When you take a ride in the Ferris
wheel and reach lofty altitude, put
your arms around your girls waist; she
will understand your bravery and that
YOU are ready for her protection should
anything occur, besides it is one of the
exclusive pleasures expected on Ferris
wheel journeys.
When the card writer asks you Tor the
name of your lady, tell him, and when
he hands you a manifcent pack OF
cards with her name inscribed thereon
DONE grumble and say 81 did not or
der if )" for your girl will be looking
with longing eyes toward the pretty
things aud the card writer is smiling
very sweetly upon her.