The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-04
BOWSER'S BACKSETs.
His Mother-in-Law Still Has the
Reins.

Re1ns.
Last week 1 introduced myself as
Mr.. Bowser'S mother-in-law and told of
my unexpected arrival and the way
sat down on him during the following
day or two. I am the only thing alive
he is afraid of. and there are times
when he is minded to rebel against me.
1t was understood on Saturday night
that we were all to get up good ma
tured Sunday morning and go to
church. Amanda and I were down in
good season and had nothing to worry
us, but while we were waiting break
fast Mr.. Bowser suddenly yelled out
from the top of the stairs:
i've bought more'n 100000 collar
buttons this last year, but I'll be hanged
if 1 can find a single one up here!"
''I'll be right up and find you dozen,
DEAR replied Amanda. but as she rose
to go 1 said:
you won't do ANYTHING of the kind!
If he wants collar buttons let him find
them"
1t wasn't over three minutes when
we heard a chair kicked over upstairs.
and right after the smash came Mr..
Bowsers roar:
Have I got a clean shirt. or haye
all of them been used for dishcloths
or given away to tramps?"
He has four in the bottom drawer
of his dresser - said Amanda. land Pll
go up and show them to the poor man"
you'll stay right where you are"
I said IF he doesn't know enough to
pull out a drawer he can go shirtless
You have spoiled that man. and it is
time a strong hand took hold of him. -
There was an interval of three min
uteS, and then two more chairs went
over, and Mr.. Bowser's voice could
have been heard across the street as he
called Down:
"Only week ago I counted up forty
eight neckties in my drawer. and now
can't find one! If you cont come up
here I'll wreck this houseT'
1 went up. He was down on his knees
looking under the bed. and he had
pulled down all the hat and bonnet
boxes in the closet and tumbled them
over.
by the great horn sooon'-he began
as he took me for his wife. But 1 stop
ped him with:
Benjamin Burton Bowser. want
you to drop that voice of yours sixteen
pegs. Now, then. what's the trouble?"
IT'S the way this house is rum" he
Then hire some one to run it diff
ferently or go to boarding house to
live. What's the matter with the
house"
There's no order here. Where are
my shirts my neckties and my collar
buttons? Where are
Right under your nose, and if you
hadn't a cabbage head on your Shout
ders you could put your hands on
them Don't talk to me about the way
the house is run. I know the BOwsers
from A to z. and not one of 'em could
do as we'll AS for order, you go kick
ing around like mule in a stable, and
it would take ten women to pick up
your things. Now, then, you'll either
find your own shirts and buttons or go
without. And don't YOU come down
stairs with your c'rs working and
glare in your eyes. I've seen such men
as you before. and 1 amt afraid of
ten acre lot of EN-
He wanted to sass back, but he knew
me of old. He didn't come down to
breakfast until we had finished. and
he didn't go to church with US l ex-
pected he'd he up to some dodge or
other while we were gone, and l told
the cook to keep an eye on him. 1t was
well that I did. He planned to clean
out the furnace and paint the kitchen
door while l was gone, but the cook
hid his paint and pretended to be
afraid of a gas explosion down cellar
and he contented himself with trying
to tune the piano and moving a bed
stead When we sat down to dinner,
he started in to find fault with the
roast but l held up my finger and
looked over at him and said:
benjamin, if you don't like roast
beei, you probably know where you
can go and buy mutton stew"
In the afternoon 1 heard him telling
Amanda that he guessed he'd go down
to the club and roll a few games OF
tenpins, but when he was ready to start
l was at the front door to say:
NO you don't, Benjamin. This house
doesn't send half the family to church
in the forenoon and the other half to a
bowling alley in the afternoon. You
are supposed to be shining example
in this neighborhood, and you'll con-
tinue to shine while I'm around. 1t
wouldn't hurt you a bit to sit down and
see what the print of a Bible is like
but if you are afraid of hurting your
eyes YOU might play with the cat
I expected he'd walk off, but he didn't
He sat down and read the newspaper
for two hours or more, and l hardly
blamed him when he finally got up and
wandered out into the back yard. had
lost sight of him for half an hour when
went out and found him bargaining
with man for six fowls in coop on
q wagon. The man was chicken
buyer who had barn near, by, and the
fowls had been left over from the Sat-
urday market.
What is it, Benjamin." I asked as
put myself forward which l claim is
the prerogative of every mother-in-law.
I'm going to keep hens and have
fresh eggs,'' he replied. I'm get a man
to build a coop tomorrow"
ooh. no. you won't, Benjamin Firstly,
a dollar apiece for hens is too much;
secondly, you've tried it two or three
times, and your fresh eggs cost you
about 81 each; thirdly. all these fowls
you are dickering for are ROSTERS, and
roosters won't lay eggs even for you
Forget it, son-in-law, and come into
the house."
DO you let your mother-in-law run
you this way?" asked the chicken man
as he bristled up with anger at my in
reference.
He does,'' 1 says. HE doesn't want
| to, but he has to submit"
I'll be hanged If I will!' shouts my
son-in-law. but right there I took him
by the collar and led him into the yard
and said:
Don't try it on me, Benjamin-not
/ this Sunday eve. You know me of
old, and you know that when I call
| break away you've got to do it, Wen
now go into the house and have heart
to heart talk about your collar but
tons"