The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1902-08-28
CONGRESSIONAL HUMOE.
The Wit of the Great Statesmen
Flows Fast and Freely.


Flows Fast and Freely.
Senator Carmack, of Tennessee, who
was conspicuous during the last scs-
SION Of Congress for his attacks on the
conduct Of tho war in tho philippines,
used to be newspaper man before he
entered The arena of politics, says the
New York Commercial. He was rsk-
cd the other day If he was sen-
sitivo to the bitter criticisms made by
some Of the newspapers on account of
his arraignmcnt of the American
soldiers iu the Philippines.
"Not in the least" he replied, "and
that reminds me of a story. There
used 10 bo man in our town who was
not very tall and who was so bow-lcggcd
as to appear dcformcd or crippled.
But he had plenty of muscle and a
| good deal of grit. One time the bow
| legged man became involved in di
putc with husky slX-footer who, be-
coming tired of the verbal argument,
advanced upon his opponent with a
threatening air and said:
You little runt! Ive good no.
ton 20 chaw your guzzleN-whateve
hat may mean.
At this the bow-leggcd man immc-
diately gathered himself together,
squared off, and said: sAl llghtl pvc
been mostly raised on chawed guzzle,
so sail imp
AS l was once Il newspaper man."
concluded Senator 4 mack, I" l don't
much care what they say about mo.
Besides, I've 'been raised on that sort
of thing"
One day when Senator-elcc Nc
Crealy, of Kentucky, was out looking
after his political fences he stopped
before a house where there was a well
in the yard and asked for a drink, says
The New York Times.
"Sorry, Mister" responded the man
Of the house, but there amt drop
on this place, | am getting purity dry
myself"
Isn't there any water in the wcll?"
exclaimed McCrcary.
OF course there is" blultcd out the
man: "I didn't know you wanted
water. | thought you wanted drink. :"
Senator Blackburn, of Kentucky,
poured out glass of ice water and
drank it with evident satisfaction.
'Thcrc isn't anything quite as good as
water after ALL" quoth Blackburn,
which, by the way" he added, ore
minds me of story.
Down in Kentucky" began Mr..
Blackburn, there was farmer, who,
strange to say, did not know the taste
Of whiskey. One day, at Christmas
time, he was at neighbours house
and was invited TO sample mixture of
cream, lemon, sugar and other in
gradients, commonly known as cggnog.
lie slpped, then drank, then drained
several mugs. Whom he started to go
home lie felt curious. It's an insidous
drink, you know, and when he reach
cd home he went to bed. The next
morning he awoke with an awful thilst.
Breaking the thin covering of ico on
the water bucket out on the porch he
took one long drink.
MANDY, Mandy, come here and
bring the childrcn,' he shouted. Il
never tasted such water IN my life I"
Mr.. Brownlow, of Tennessee, has
among his constituents an itnerant
preacher who is not only an eloquent
preacher, but in his opinion, has a
knowledge of the Scriptures second to
no ones. So confident is he that he can
make clear the most obscure passages
that he invariably asks his hearers to
bring him any puzzling text they wish
explained, says The Washington Post.
At The close of very large and
successful meeting a country pumpkin
sitting in the back of the hall, in rc-
sponse TO The PASTORS invitation, an
nounced that there was matter, a
vcly important mattor, he would like
to have unraveled.
Happy that an oppol Lunity 10 show
his erudition had come at last, the
wise man encouraged the fellow tc
come to the front and present h.s
ploblem.
" What want to know is," said The
bucolic, is whether Jobs turkey was
a hen or gobbler."
And when the preacher turned red
and coughed to hide his confusion his
intel rogator remarked in q voice thai
was audible through the whole hall
"pll be aurned If 1 didn't stump bin
the first timel"
The Western Senator had the floor
1t was great speech and good, ant
pictured in glowing colors Nevada''
. future, If only men would be wise il
their generation and make the appro
priation for irrigation. lie left notl
ing unsaid. He defied arguu ent, ant
, finally concluded by declaring solomu
: ly:
{" In fact, gentlemen, all Nevad
needs is more water and bette
: society," Whereupon Mr.. Fesscde
/. 0bserved:
@ "I would like to remind tho gcntl
:. man from the West that that Is al he
Y needs"
r While the late Judge Thurman, {