New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-10-26
A FORGOTTEN HUMORIST.
GEORGE n. DERBY'S JOKES STILL ARE
TOLD AT WEST POINT.

rbirtv-fve years ago. when all the rising genera
80, Of America were shouting with laughter over
A-,ernus Wards droll experiences the worn copy
- .PheuiXian9" from which the following
,-scts were taken given 10 the writer of this
s-ticls says THE United Service Magazine
,.lohn Phoenix" alias 'Squibob.' in private life
lieutenant George Il. Derby. Of the United States
geographical Engineers. graduated at West
-ooint In 1876 having entered as cadet in 1872
l4s passion for illustrating his textbooks gave rise
- a regulation ohligug the cadets 10 hand their
textbooks 10 the professors for inspection the
erst OF every month. This regulation once afforded
Derby an opportunity for a very clever practical
,oke-a Joke which was innocent. as well as
witty that IL freely pardoned by the professor
m whose expense II was committed. It occurred in
th!s wise. The class was assembled in Professor
when Professor 40, interrCpting himself said sud
"Ah, Il is The FIRST Of the month. see. Gentle
men, hana me your textbooks
the part ~ en- except Derby. Tho was observed TO
ftart violently, and hastily seizng his textbook
70 thrust u INTO his desk This. OF course. did not
psssSS Derby" said Professor DO sternlv hand
me YOUR text book sir"
could be excused just this once. slr?' ialtered
Certainly not sir" returned Professor d'O.. Sc
principal cause of this regulation? II is your text
book particularly want 10 see, Mr.. Derby. Bring
"But had rather not, sir" hesitated Derby
''Perhaps So sir replied Professor DO. but you
Amid The profound silence and strained expecta-
20 the rostrum, and with elaborate relactance
yielded Up The textbook. Behold! its pages We're
Innocent u any illustration whatever. and the
capital letters, the legend. April Fool" II was
April J. and, as We have said, The joke for
Early in the wear 1850 Derby was a passenger In
q shin bound from \ew-Yor1 san Francisco.
Tho Toyase was TO be round the Horn CALI
:orniaus phrase II and therefore necessarily an
afaI months. The ship was crowded with pas
senge-s ot both sexes. and OF an ages and condi-
may De imagined when a case or cholera broke out
ir the stserasc. II WAS genuine AsiatiC cholera
over IN a Jew hours and when the victim, who.
fortunately, psina s, Tor MS fellow passengers, was
fnenGess and unknown. had been committed TO
his 'Nast and wandering grave the captain sur
geon and cool headed, kind hearted United States
nature OF the dead mans Illness, had consulta-
iior rs "a what was 10 be done AN three sCrees
thar 81 lTupeTariVey necessary 10 keep the
secret and = was case in which prevention
was the only hone. There was no cure for cholera,
peusahe 10 maintain strict silence on the sub
iect but also. if possible TO keep the passengers
:TOm ludulging IN specGlations or anNieties with
regard 10 the dead mans illness.
But n is no easy matter TO amuSe several hun
6Ted people IN midoCean SO successfully that no
after long Cogitation safeguard against cholera
lad been found, when suddenly the captain sprang
4 have it,' he cried. Wen get Derby TO amuse
fhem-for a consideration q"
And then and there Derby was sent for sworn
70 secrecy and cntreated to take the responsibility
Of Keeping the passengers amused and interested
until they reached San Francisco. The ''considera-
tion" which the captain felt himself justified in
promising on behalf or Tho owners OF the ship was
something enormous. and Derby accepted the offer
and the responsibility.
He performed his part ~ the bargain 10 perfec-
ton and during the remaining weeks OF the voy-
sPe kept every one on SCard IA roars Of laughter
and IN perfect health The ship reached San Fran
any more passengers. and her owners gladly re
oeemed The promise made by the captain