The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-09-05
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did it ever do to be proud Of? Virgins
Wasn't I born there?-Boston Tran
script.
Her Position: Mrs. Parke-What
kind Of servants do you prefer-white
or black, Irish or German? Mrs. Lane
I've gotten beyond that. I'm looking
for servants that prefer me.-Puck.
Elderly Spinster-Ah, dear Julia, you
can't imagine how dread to think Of
my fortieth birthday. Julia-Why,
dear? Did something very unpleas-
ant happen then ?-London Punch
The Spring Department: Dinwiddie-
Where shall 1 find the spring under
clothes? Department Store Floorwalk-
er-Two aisles to the left, right next
to the cough cure and patent medicine
counter.-Judge.
Tie Count weesh to marry your
Gaughtaire, saire! I am worth orc hum
dred tousard dollaire. The millionaire
Put thought you were bankrupt.
The Count mean Eat 1 an yorth Eat
n1och to you.-Brooklyn Life.
She-But you must admit that socie-
ty in our village is all the time becom-
ing more cultured. He-Yes, 1 hear
that at the minstrel show next week
instead Of end men they advertise 'su-
perior terminal facilities" -Boston
Transcript.
A white-haired man walked into the
o;:l:nary's office the other DAY and ask
ed for a pension certificate. "\Vhat
ground for pension have you" he
was asked. "Why, when ;hc engage
mcnt began" he said, II lost r1y head"
Atlanta Journal.
Exorbitant: Litigant - What will
Lawyer-lt ought to be worth hun
dred, but III do it for you for an even
sixty. Litigant- Sixty dollars? Great
Croesus! l can buy a whole jury for
that!-Chicago Tribune
Leading Up to It: Bobbie-You know
them preserves out in tn pantry Wot
you told me not to eat? Mother-Yes.
Bobbie-You know you said they'd
make me sick if l ct 'em, didn't you?
Mother-Yes. Bobbie-Well, they
didn't.-Ohio State Journal
"She keeps an immense establish
ment, doesn't she?" ooh, indeed, yes!
A head coachman, two footmen, two
grooms, and a stable-boy, housekeep-
er, cook, undertook, kitchen maid, up
stairs and downstairs maid, governess,
husband, and child."-Puck.
The Undisputed Points: Attorney for
the Defense-You are BLACKBOARD and
a bluff, sir! Attorney for the Prosecu-
ion-And you, sir, are a shyster and
rogue! The Court-Come, come, gentle
men. Let us get down to the disputed
points in this case.-Smart Set.
Stranger-What statue is that being
erected on the square? Citizen-That,
sir, is the statue of the Hon. Mortimer
Biggerton. Stranger-One Of the bene-
factors Of the town, suppose: Citizen
Yes, indeed. He paid for the statue
before he died.-Chicago News.
Willy-1 met our new minister on my
way to Sunday school, mamma, and
he asked me if I ever played marbles
on Sunday. Mother-H'm! And what
did you say to that? Willy-1 said. Get
thee behind me, Satan!' and walked
right off and left him.-Tit-Bits.
Hunter (after another riss> Darn
the luck! I don't know what can be
the matter with this gun. The D'rlo'
matte Guide-They kin talk as :hey
like, sir, but nothin' kin make me be-
lieve this here smokeless powder IS as
good as th, old fashioned kind
Hi:am-That boy Of yours what went
to college could do some powerful lift
ing with the club and dumbbells. Silas
Yes: but 1 always thought more Of
the other ones lifting powers. Hiram
Did he lift dumbells and the likeI
Silas-No; but he lifted the mortgage.
The Laugh: Chumpley-That hyp-
notist is a fraud He couldn't control
my mind at all last night. Pokely-Of
course, he had some excuse. Chumpley
Yes. He said there was no material
to work on. You ought to have heard
the audience give him the laugh.-Tit-
Bits.
"Have you named the baby?" asked
the admiring neighbor. ''Not yet,
said the proud young mother. "We're
going to christen him Sunday" ':Dear
me! What odd name! I'd almost
as soon call him after Robinson Cru
soe's man Friday and be done with it."
Chicago Tribune.
An Important Occasion.-Uncle Eb-
ony-rse glad you's in, sab, cause
want to borrer youah cyclopedias, and
few dictionaries, and any other nice
big books you can spare, sab. Employ
er-Goodness me! And you've brought
a wheelbarrow, I see. What on earth
do you want Of them? Uncle Ebony
Very important occasion, sab, very
important. Dinah and me wants to
hunt up name for the baby. sah.-
New York Weekly.
Bridget and Pat We're sitting in an
armchair reading. an article on 1.-The
Law Of Conversation" "Just fancy"
exclaimed Bridget; ''accordin' to this,