davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

If instead of the cramping imprison-
ment of boots and shoes the foot from
infancy were allowed a free and nat
ural development, it may be questioned
whether under such conditions it might
not be rendered capable of performing
other functions besides those of loco
motion and sustaining the weight Of
the body. Certain at least it is that
some unlucky mortals born without
arms have managed to use a knife,
fork, spoon, pen, paintbrush and even
a violin bow-Pall Mall Gazette.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Perhaps the best way to read history
is to take up the life of some great fig
ure that attracts our imagination and
be drawn by that into the study of the
general stage upon which he was only
a single actor. Certainly it is not
good plan to begin with those elabo-
rate documentary histories In which
you cannot see the wood for the trees.
1t Is better to be wrong In a few of
your facts or even contract bias from
some partisan historian than to lose
yourself in a morass of documents,
says Success.
The best histories are the widest
II they occasionally lead you astray,
you can always correct them by the
more sober colored chronicles. Macau-
lay may have been prejudiced, and SO
may Froude. and so undoubtedly was
Carlyle; so, again, was Gibbon; yet,
none the less, these are the great his
torians the historians who set you up
on the peaks of time and enable you
to see history as 1t lies beneath In wide
views and broad masses.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
ELEPHAN rs.
Few Grow Nine Feet High, the Ma
fority Being Under Eight Feet.

Few UEOW NINE rect hlBue inc nv
jority Being Under Eight Feet.
The average term of an elephants
life, although there is no precise IN
formation on the point, is seventy or
eighty years. The elephant is not in
full vigor and strength till thirty
The most ready way Of forming an ap-
proximate idea of the age is by the
amount of turn over of the upper edge
of the ear. In young animals, some
times up to the age of eight or nine
years, the edge is quite straight. 1t.
however, then begins to turn over, and
by the time the animal is thirty the
edges lap over to the extent of an inch.
and between this age and sixty this
increases to two inches or slightly
more. EXtravagant ideas are held as
to the height of an elephant. Such a
thing as an elephant measuring ten
feet at the shoulder does not exist in
India or Burma. Sanderson, who is ad-
mitted to be the best authority on the
subject, says the largest male he ever
met with measured 8 feet 10 inches
and the tallest female feet inches
The majority of elephants, however
are below eight feet, and an animal
rarely reaches nine feet. the female
being slightly shorter than the male.
The carcass of an elephant feet 4 inch
es tall weighed in portions gave total
weight of 1900 pounds. so an elephant
weighing two tons should be common
enough The skin was about three
fourths of an inch thick.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Purple has always been considered
the royal color. The i'll fated Charles
l. was, however, at his own desire,
crowned in robe of white. Although
he was seriously reminded that of the
two exceptions to this rule, Richard IL.
and Henry VI, who wore white satin
robes at their coronations, both had
come to a violent end, one at Ponte-
tract castle and one in the Tower,
Charles l. was resolute in his decision,
and, when, twenty-three years after
ward, almost to a day, his body was
conveyed to its grave through heavy
snowstorm, the superstitious could not
help remarking that the third white
king" had suffered a violent DEATH
st. James Gazette.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

An English traveller who has visited
every nation in the world is authority
for the statement that one food is uni
versal throughout all countries. There
is not part of the world" he says,
where you cannot get an egg" While
in western China, however, he at first
had some difficulty in getting even
eggs. The natives could not understand
him and refused to recognize the pic
lures he drew as pictures Of eggs. THE
way / got out Of the difficulty" he
adds, was that l squatted down on
my launches, tapped my wings and
cock-o-doodle-dOo'd until the entire ma
ton grasped what wanted, and was
simply provided with hundreds Of
eggs"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Americans are known as a dyspeptic
people. The extent of this disease may
be inferred from the multitude of so call
ed medicines" offered as remedy They
are often in tablet form and have no value
except as palliatives of the immediate eff
fects of dyspepsia. The man who used
them may feel better but is surely getting
worse. They do not touch the real cause
of the disease. DR.. Pierce's Golden Medi-
cal Discovery is medicine specially pre-
pared to cure diseases of the stomach and
organs Of digestion and nutrition. 1t is
not made to give temporary relief but to
effect permanent cure. In ninety. eight
cases out of every hundred it cures per-
fectly and permanently.
1t has cost DR.. Pierce $25, 900 to give
away in the last year the copies of his
Peoples Common Sense Medical Adviser,
which have been applied for. This book
of 1908 pages is sent free on receipt of 81
one-cent stamps to pay expense of mail
ing only. Address DR. R. " Pierce, Buff
falo, N. Y.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Cervantes once gave proof that his
generosity was fully equal to his gen.
ius. In the early part of his life he was
for some time a slave in Algiers, and
there he devised plan to free himself
and thirteen of his fellow sufferers.
One of them traitorously revealed the
design, and they We're all brought be-
fore the dey of Algiers, who promised
them their lives on condition that they
revealed the contriver Of the plot.
II was that person." at once cried
Cervantes. Save my companions and
let me perish alone"
The dey, struck by his intrepidity,
spared his life. allowed him to be ran
somed and permitted him to go home.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
,'s<s'sT<'Fo-F-'O''77SSIr s-s-rs 7JrssElrs-l-s'I'
HER
GALLERY
GOD .v
COLIN S. COLLINS
4 Copyright, 1901. b. a. S. Richardson


6aososo+o4oscc4c>sc-s-oFo
standing room only, and that in the
gallery" exclaimed the man behind
the brass barred window.
Bert STANCE handed over so cents
and received In exchange a bit of green
pasteboard. There was nothing else to
DO If he would see Pauline Melton in
the initial performance of 'the greatest
revival Of AS You Like It. with an all
star cast" By one Of those strange
ironies Of stage management, however,
the actress who was to play "Rosalind"
had never starred, but was a dainty lit
tie leading lady recently discovered by
the shrewd metropolitan manager and
pushed forward at the close of the sea-
son.
Ought to have had sense enough to
telegraph In for Seats" muttered
STANCE, who had been out Of town.
Just then his eye caught huge poster
giving the "star cast in full, and his
face frightened.
slack Armstrong; Here's luck. He'll
fix me up somehow back of the scenes"
A few moments later STANCE was ush-
cred into the dressing room of the
comedian and his former college friend.
There was a brief but hearty greeting,
and the host went back to his task of
making up.
tits a beastly shame. Bert, and I'd
like to help you out, but old Burrows is
half crazy now. Before the second cur
tain goes up he'll be In a mood to kill
some one"
The dressing room door swung open
suddenly, and Bayard, the leading
man. In the makeup of Orlando. dashed
In unceremoniously.
"Give me a cigarette Armstrong. |
got sucn an edge on I've got to smoke
or die"
Armstrong shook his head.
mot a one about me. Perhaps my
friend, Mr.. STANCE, might"
STANCE offered his cigar case.
Thanks" said Bayard. You've prob
ably saved my life, or, what is most
important, my job" Then he vanished
as unceremoniously as he had ap-
peared.
STANCE rose. 1t was time for him to
join the rest Of the gallery gods.
"By the way, Armstrong, l wish
you'd introduce me to Miss Melton
some time"
He tried to speak carelessly, but
Armstrong swung around, staring curl
ously at his friend.
"Oh, no! So lies the land, eh?"
STANCE looked Armstrong squarely in
the eye.
eyes. I've been-well interested in
Miss Melton ever since l saw her in
The Minnie and I've tried In every de-
cent way to meet her, but
Eyes, know. It's a sort of fad just
now with some of the managers to
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

NJ. Grevy when president of France
on one occasion extricated himself from
a predicament with wonderful pres
ence of mind. He was being conducted
around the salon by an eminent artist,
when he saw a painting which dis
pleased him. What a daubw he ex-
claimed. Whose is itY THAT pic
ture, NJ. lie President" said his cicerone,
sit is my own work" "Ahr' said the
president without any sign of embar-
rassment at his awkward mistake. "In
our country, when we particularly wish
to purchase thing, we always begin
by running it down." And, true to his
part, he purchased the offending paint
ing there and then.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
A GIuttonous Boy.

A merchant died at Ispahan in the
earlier part of last century who had
for many years denied himself and his
son every support except Il crust Of
coarse bread. On q certain occasion
he was overtempted to buy piece Of
cheese; but, reproducing himself with
extravaganza, he put the cheese into
a bottle and contented himself and
obliged the boy to do the same, with
rubbing the crust against the bottle,
enjoying the cheese in Imagination.
One day, returning home later than
usual, the merchant found his son eat
ing his crust, which he constantly rub
bed against the door.
"What are you about, you foolY' was
his exclamation. ut is dinner time,
father. You have the key; so, as /
could not open the door, l was rub
bling my bread against it, as | could
not get to the bottle" Cannot you go
without cheese one day, you luxurious
little rascal? You'll never be rich"
And the angry miser kicked the poor
boy for not having been able to deny
himself the ideal qualification.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
A Great speech.

A lawyer whose eloquence was of
the spread eagle sort was addressing
the jury at great length, and his legal
opponent, growing weary, went out
side to rest
''AIr. B. is making a great speech, !"
said a friend to the bored counsel.
'Oh, yes; Mr.. B. always makes a
great speech. If you or l had occasion
to announce that two and two make
four, we'd be just fools enough to blurt
it right out. Not so MIR. b. He would
say:
IF, by that arlthmetical rule known
as addition, we desired to arrive at the
sum of two integers added to two in
tegers, we should finland l assert
this boldly, sir, and without the fear Of
successful contradiction-we, repeat,
should find by the particular arithmet-
ical formula before newfoundland,
sir, hold myself perfectly responsible
for the assertion am about to make
that the sum of the two given integers
added to the two other integers would
be fourv'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Once upon time the prime minister
went to the king and complained that
a certain courtier, who was very hard
Of hearing. had been making very I'M
complimentary remarks about his SOW
ereign.
Your majesty should speak to him
about IT," said the minister, "that it
may cease. but you must needs speak
loud"
Il will speak so loud" answered the
king, that guarantee the offense will
never be repeated"
He then sent the offending courtier
to the guillotine.
Moral.-Ax speaks louder than
wo-ds.-New York Herald
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
Punishment In Persia.

Among the Perslans the usual mode
Of punishment is the bastinado from
which men of the highest rank are not
exempt. 1t is inflicted with very great
severity, frequently so as to render the
sufferer almost n cripple for life. The
victim is thrown upon his face and each
foot is passed through loop of strong
cord attached to a pole, which is raised
horizontally by men, who, twisting it
round, tighten the ropes and render
the feet immOvable. Two executioners
then strike the sole alternately with
switches of the pomegranate tree well
STEPPED In water to render them sup
pie. A store of these switches is gen.
orally ready for use in the pond which
adjOins the courtyards of the houses of
the great. The punishment, frequently
lasts for an hour or until the unfortu-
nate victim faints from pain.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
He Had Not.

At one of the public receptions at
the White House during the second
Cleveland administration Mr.. Samuel
Clemens Mark Twain) was presented
to Mrs. Cleveland. On shaking hands
with her he gave her a card, asking
simply, "Will you please sign thatT"
Mrs. Cleveland glanced at the card
to find nothing but the words, HE has
not written across it. She looked in
amused perplexity to Mr.. Clemens for
something further, when the latter ex-
planned:
my wife said If came here would
be sure to come with my goloshes on;
but haven't, have 1? So l wish you
would sign that for me to give her."
Mrs. Cleveland looked down at his
feet and then iaughingly wrote her
name ON the card.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
Served Him Right.

EYES," said the sad looking chap. 81
was a gay burglar once, but an acct
dent put an end to my career. You
see, was humorous chap too"
you look it." said the wise guy I'M
der his breath.
Il got into an art gallery one day by
telling the janitor that l was picture
taker. l took lot of them. too. among
which was one of Plugugly, the cham
pion prizefighter of 1845."
did they catch you" asked the
wise guy.
NO" replied the sad looking man.
"Plugugly's portrait was next to my
solar plexus, and l had to drop them
all 1t was such striking likeness"
OF course 1t was to be expected that
the sad looking man should get the
worst of the fight that followed.-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
- TACTLESS FANNY.
Janausche<'s Reason For Openin
Her Season In Syracuse.

S@mauBchek's Reason For Opening
Her Season In Syracuse.
A Syracuse man tells a story Of Nine.
Janauschek when she was prominent
star. The willy advance agent went to
Syracuse a week or so before the local
theater opened there for the season
and proceeded to fill up the guileless
newspaper men with the statement
that Janauschek had said that she
would open her season in that place or
not at all. Her manager wanted Chi
cago but offered to compromise on
Boston or Philadelphia. but the ma
dame was firm.
Naturally Syracuse was delighted at
the honor. Janauschek got pages of
advance notices, and when the opening
night came the theater was packed as
never before.
After the first act an ambitious re-
porter went behind" to interview
Nine. Janauschek.
Syracuse feels very proud that you
have started here this season." he
said, land my paper would like to tell
the people for you why you have so
honored u.s."
Great heavens" said the tactless
Fanny, 81 had to open some placer
Chicago Record Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

speaking of Texas" said a young
lawyer who once lived in the Lone
Star State to the New Orleans Times
Democrat, reminds me of peculiar
conversation | heard In a grocery
store a few years ago in one of the
smaller places of the state, and the
story will amply illustrate the pecul-
iarities of the vernacular in certain
more remote parts of Texas l hap
pened to be In the grocery store in
question when little girl came in to
buy some eggs, and the following con-
versation was carried on between the
girl and the keeper of the place: Amt
you got no eggsT asked the little girl
4 amt said amt the storekeeper re-
piled, whereupon the little girl replied
after this fashion: L amt ask you Is
you amt you. l ask you is you is you.
Amt your That's the way they talk 4
some sections of the state. The little
lassie who used the expression made
herself clear and she got the eggs"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
An Optimistic View.

The invalid looked out of the window
just as a hearse went by. and he
smiled happily.
Dye mind. Biddy," he said, tits
worth the dyin' to have a ride in a
thing like that, with the feathers on
top an man with bug on his hat,
an you bein' greater an more nicis-
sary than the marshal Nv a st. Path
riek's day parade There's wanst in
ye're life ye're the whole thing, an
that's whin ye're dead. Chicago Post
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

"Ha, har laughed the white key.
"You are fearfully sharp today
Well" retorted the accused one,
'I'd rather be "A sharp than b fat"
Good gracious" shrieked the string,
keep still I'm highly strung, and my
pedal extremities are affected. | know
I shall break in pieces
$50 | note" murmured the bass
I'm cleft in twain" moaned the staff.
MY trouble is trebled since young
hopeful began to play" said the book
for beginners.
Its all right while he is only A mi
nor, but wait until he begins to be "A
major"
And they all started to have good
time" with the metronome. - New
York Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

In the olden days candles were taxed
articles, and 1t was the duty of Burns,
as an excise officer, to see that the
tax was not evaded. He generally
looked the other way, however. as
when passing through the kitchen one
night at William .Lorimer's of Ken
nishall, where the gudewife was busy
making candles, he merely remarked,
Faith. madam, ye're thrang the
NIGHT" and passed into the parlor.-
BlackwOod's Magazine
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

II hate to be contradicted," she said.
"Then | won't contradict you" he
returned.
you don't love me-" she asserted
II DON'T" he admitted.
you are hateful thingw she cried.
81 am" he replied.
81 believe you're trying to tease me, a"
she said.
Il am" he conceded.
"And that you do love me-"
II do"
For moment she was silent.
well" she said at last, 81 do hate a
man who is weak enough to be led by a
woman. He ought to have mind Of
his and strength"
He sighed. What else could he do2-
Chicago Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Mike" said Flooding Pete, don't
you wish you was rich?"
'Kind o." answered Meandering
Mike Course l couldn't eat any
more dan l does. but I'd be saved de
trouble o. sayin' much obliged so Of
ten. Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

There is a legend to the effect that
long ago Il man named Ramsay of
Banff, Scotland, having boiled down
white snake and accidentally swal-
lowed drop of the soup. against
which he had been warned as poison
Gus, found himself endowed with the
power of seeing through the people he
met. This unusual opportunity for
diagnosis established his reputation
and fortune as physician.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

A good story is told of late Dublin
doctor famous for his skill and also his
great love of money. He had a con-
slant and enriching patient in an old
shopkeeper. This old lady was terribly
rheumatic and unable to leave her
sofa. During the doctors visits she
kept a one pound note in her hand,
which duly went into DR.. C.'s pocket.
One morning he found her lying dead
on the sofa. Signing deeply, the doctor
approached, and. taking her hand in
his. he saw the fingers closed on his
fee
Poor thingr' he said as he pocketed
It! Sensible to the last!'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
Plenty of Color.

''That Mrs. Wadhams to whom you
introduced me the other evening re-
minds me very much of a portrait by
Rembrandt"
els that so? Which one?"
'Oh. any old one. They all look.
when you get close to them, us if the
paint had been thrown on by the
handful. Chicago Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

"Ah," he sighed, Il was happier
when l was poor"
We'll" they answered coldly, at is
always possible for a man to become
poor again."
But somehow the idea did not seem
to impress him favorably.-Chicago
Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
His Many Thoughts.

Don't you sometimes have
thoughts" asked the soulful young
thing, that are absolutely unutter-
ableY'
II do. miss" answered the old poet.
'And sometimes when | am digging
for rhyme that won't come | have
thoughts that are absolutely imprint
able. Chicago Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Mrs. Mann-Tommy, you have beer
a very naughty boy. When your paps
comes home, shall tell him about you
Tommy think, mamma. it will bt
more interesting If you remind him o.
those happy days when your loves
were young and fresh. A man likes t.
hear sweet things when he come.
home at night tired and weary.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
Rough on Father.

Perdita-If you continue much longer
to play cards with my father, won't
marry you.
Jack Dashing-If your father contin-
ues to play cards much longer with me,
/ won't need to marry you.-New York
Newa.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Naggsby-If you don't like your job,
why on earth do you cling to 1t with
such tenacity?
Waggsby-Well, you see, have
friends in the same line of work. and II
i let 20 some of them might stumble
into my place and regret it ever after
ward.-Los Angeles Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
A Fnstidious Freak.

Manager-W What is the matter with
the glass eater?
Assistant-He is getting too tony.
Manageable so?
Assistant-He refuses to eat any
thing but cut glass.-Philadelphia Rec
ord
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

THAT man is extremely suspicious,
as he thinks every one he sees is a
shady character, and naturally too"
''It's his nature, suppose"
'sNot at all He wears smoked spec
tacleR"-BaltimOr Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

Smith-Poor fellow. he has hard
time getting along. hasn't he?
Brownie did for awhile. but since
he started down hill he finds it compar-
atively easy.-Chicago News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
Cnne with Her.

"Your husband" said the laxative
man, has such gentle disposition. He
inherited it from his mother. | sup
poser"
NO" replied Mrs. Henpeck signifi-
cantly, 81 think may safely say that
was part of my dowry." Philadelphia
Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11
.rhe Morning Alter.

Alice binding a roll of bills under her
plate)-You were out awfully late, Ar
thur. Is this conscience money?
Arthur Qlmldly from behind his
newspaper No. my dear; hush money.
Puck.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1902-11-11

1t takes 100000 grains of oats to
SOW an acre. 2.S0O.000 of barley and
only 100000 of wheat