Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1902-12-01

what stifly, I am not humorist.
seldom SMILE and l never laugh. Do
yo' mean it for joke when yo' take
the credit of things l did myself? If
so. sub. let me tell yo' that / don't ap-
preciate it.
".Kurnel Bunker says he in a slow
and deliberate fashion and meaning to
insult my very name, it gives me un-
alloyed pleasure to observe that yo'
are caitiffp
"'Suhl Subj
%'A caitiff. a coward and liarv
"Gad, sun, but don't know why
didn't take him by the throat then and
there and throttle the life out OF him.
l did start to do it, / believe, but
caught myself in time. 1t was five
minutes before could speak, and then
my words were few simply told him
to expect visit from my second and
strobe away. AS l turned the co'ner l
met General Polk, and when l told
him of the insult he threw up his
hands in amaZement. He couldn't
doubt my word, but it was hard
thing to believe OF co'se he was will
Ing to act as my second, and in fifteen
minutes it had been arranged that
Majah Bob and l were to meet at sum
rise. Thirteen previous meetings or
the sort, with my escutcheon un
stained, made it an almost everyday
affair for me-that is, l ate and slept
as usual and no one saw any change
in me. l had differed with men, suh-
differed with them on astronomy, ge-
cgraphy or the curl Of a pigs tail and
gone to the field to uphold my honah
by, simply pinking them, but here was
the grOSseSt insult Of my life. l had
been called Il caitiff, a coward and u
liafrand my mind was made up to kill
Majah Bob in his tracks. l believe
that certain persons called upon him
during the evening and sought to in
duce him to apologize, but he was
firm in his refusal and rather strange
in his demeanor. Morning came, and
sauntCrcd to the grounds. never hur-
r. in such cases, sub, nor do let any
thoughts of death trouble me. When
| reached the spot, | was as cOoE as ice
and rs calm asa duck pond. | looked for
the majah to show up early, but it was
a full hour befO' he appeared-a ful!
hour. sub And then how did he come!
May l never hear the hum Of grape
shot again if he didn't come along
with two niggers, who had bags of
potatoes on their backs. and he was
going to show them where to plant
them,
"Howdy, Kurnel BunkerY says he
as he stops 10 shake hands and offer
me his plug.
- am here on this field Of honah to
kill yo', Majah BOb,' says l as 1 folds
my arms and steps back.
"'To kill me? What for?
"'For yo'r words Of yesterday
"'What words? 1 never even saw
yo' yesterday
1--WE were half an hour arriving at
q solution Of the puzzle" said the colo
mel, "but we got it at last. Majah Bob
Taylor was cocktail drunk when l met
him on this veranda. If it had been
whisky intoXication, should have de-
tected it. but it was the cocktail, sub,
the insidious cocktail. He had talked
with me without knowing me and
without being responsible for what he
said. Why, sub, the mans hair fairly
stood up when l repeated the names
he had called me, and there was such
q look of earnestness on his face that
it was impossible not to believe him.
Under the circumstances the duel was
off. of co'se, but something else was
off too. 1t was plain to US that the
cocktail had been introduced to the
south to upset her whole political sys-
tenn and prevent the phenix bird from
rising, and we swOre to abjure it, sub,
to nip it in the bud and drive it
back whence it came. And we nipped
it, sub, and we drove it, sub, and we
stuck to our mint julep, and here We
are at the head of the world, sub, and
if yo' don't mind
didn't and we took another.
NJ. QUAD.