davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
London Writer peaorlbes Yerkes.

Charles T. Yerkes is credited with
saying that men are In their appren-
ticeship until they reach the age of
80 and that a business man is NOT
lipe until he IS ten years older than
that, The London writer who quotes
him thus draws this brief pen picture
OF the former Chicago traction mag.
nate; "Pallid. dark-eyed, so~ft-voiced.
with white hair and muatache and an
air of subdued refinement the railway
autocrat might be taken for q quiet
scholar rather than a graduate of
the most strenuous rough-and-tumble
school of dshting in the world"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Wonderful New EnsIand DiaIect.

The professor of Latin in a New England school has until within six
months claimed that stories Of New England dialect were absurdly ex
aggerated; but a few months ago a living refuahon Of his views arrived
u the person Of a New Hampshire maiden Of stern aspect who had been
engaged for general housework, says the Youths Companion.
The professors study is a goodsized room, and IS he is fond Of plenty
Of air he finds three windows and a door no more than sufficient to provide
a current When the new handmaiden had been in the family a week she
passed through the hall one cool morning and stopped at the door of the
study.
DO you wish mything?" asked the professor reused by a dry cough
from the doorway.
We'll don't want to be fothputtng" said the New Hampshire
maiden in a firm but pleasant tone, but It does seem as if you we're setting
n a complete draught Don't you want the door cuz OF the windows sht
or leastways the curtains drew"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
Hls 60 80 abrupLly.

Because Of that greasiest Of all greasy
altars-propriety. You have burned
much incense upon It. Did IT ever
occur to you that It came high?
"Well. when all is said, / love YOU.
What are you going 20 do about IT,"
He sealed the letter without paus-
ing to read It over and shot It into
the shute.
What would she do about e.? HIS
cart answered him promptly enough,
Yet he allowed hope 10 drag him
through ten days Of %sickening uncer
tainty. Lurine him on with the mem.
ory OF those faded letters he hac
orco Dondercd oyer, wonderi7g how
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
Up 10 DaIe.


Bl h. H.. LANCASTER
Copyright. 1902. b. Daily story 1t Coz
His letter began abruptly:
IT'S no use, mon ami. l love you.
And when a man loves n woman.
friendship is but 3s stones to a starry
ing nan People pratc of the posi-
bilities OF the platonic-and such
things may be. Yes, if each party be
as cold-blooded as a compressed air
machine. You may smile at this.
questioning: Are not all beings com
pressed air machines?' My mind does
not run along scientific lines. / take
little stock in the 'brazen Baais' and
talking fctishes' with which you are
wont to satisfy all deep emotions.
And / love you. Let the saying stand
even Sc long IS J live.
What then? And you would fain
shrug your shoulders. But, think a
moment, friend of mine. You may
burn incense before many altars-yet
what gift can tie gods bestow that
shall equal the love or mGn-strong.
tender, unfalterirg? You viii say that
for praising my own wares / am close
second to a jew. True. But q modes
ty that stands between a man and
his happiness is a foolish modesty.
"Do l not know whereof / speak?
Seeing that .it has forced me to risk
my all upon a single throw You
smile-there in your pleasant rea-
green serenity-saying; "A mans love
is not his all Many there be who
will agree with you; yet what says
the inspired Paul Of Tarsus? If
have not love in my heart ! become
as a tin pan beaten by sticks-or
something to that effect.
do not answer this for ten days.
mon ami. Give the gods of chance
an opportunity to tlrow their dice in
my favor. Would to the Lord / could
load the dice.
DO not Doubt my sincerity, for I
tell you s~traightly that should you
find it impossible to give me love for
love my life will be worth no more
to me than a bad e~gg-though the
chances are that I shall 80 on living
pretty m0ch as the next man does.
Custom and culture. like American
manufacturers, strive steadily to re-
duce individuality to n 4xed standard
that if one part be broken or mis-
laid its substitute may be readily sup.
piled.
but, dear, though thiS is true Of
the surface, there are myriads of
men striving to content themselves
with shadows instead of substances;
and dear, dear, man of few fears that
1 am, my. heart fails me at the thought
of such a life-day after day without
you.
Mon ami, ! know well that you
laugh at love. yet | lay my love be-
fore you. Know. also, that you have
bitter preiudicos against matrimOny,
yet / ask you in all seriousness to
become my wife. What reply can you
make? A quotation from the prince
Of stoics? / fear so. And yet l am
not so u~nlovable. Women have loved
sorrier specimens of manhood. All,
but / know, you are not n of those
women.
30, woman, m strong of heart
and steady of nerve, why could /
not he content with pleasant talks
and easy relations? Why cannot a
man live on stones that are plentiful
rather than on loaves that are dear?
| Curse a pen for a soulless instrument!
Why can not take you in my arms
and force you to feel the love in
my heart-beats and on my lips? Why?
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

I'd lion M Beaten.

The nineyearod daughter Of weI-todo Towanda parents recently had
an elaborate celebration Of her birthday anniversary and invited all her
sister pupils in the Sunday school class to which she belonged, says the
Philadelphia Press Among the number was a bright little girl whose
family was famousIy poor and who for that reason was l7t treated as a
social equal by other children Of her age But she looked SO pretty In her
new frock in spite of the patent cheapness Of the material that she won
the admiration and attention Of the adults present The other little girls
envious determined to shame her, and, calling her into the group, began
talking about the various nice things in their homes When they had
finished the enumeration, M said:
NOW Mary, tell us what nice things you have In your house"
We'll papa is not rich, you know" answered Mary; 80, we don't
have a whole lot But we've got something none of you has, I'll be!"
What's that Mary?" came in eager chorus.
why we've got a skunk out under the barn with five little ones!"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
mV&SE&tW
No Necessity for Haste.

An employee Of ne Of the city departments spent a recent fortnights
vacation at an uptodate river town, says the Philadelphia Times He is
famous in his way all over city hall as a man who is Eve in a hurry;
he rushes to work, to lunch from one Dol to another leaves in haste
at 3 o'clock every afternoon, and always seems hard pushed for time.
During his vacation he wanted to make a short trip by water IN the
steamer that touched twice a day where he wa stopping. Rushing to the
wharf he saw the boat moving slowly a few feet away Determined not
TO miss the Trip lie leaped, cleared the distance, knocked down a woman and
little boy standing o. deck, and careened violently into the captain, who
roared:
What in the DEVILS the matter with your"
Iur man.
The boat is not leaving you fool" roared the skipper she's just
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
0N0SE&&U
ADVANTAGE of Oratorv.

Congressman L8efed of Maine, who has a rare oratorica echr
ment tells this story about himself
1T was up in Buffalo in The 1896 campaign. A local LAWYER and
had been assigned to a big meeting. The local man ws introduced 6wt
and proceeded to draw from his inside pocket a manuscript from which
he started to read. At the end of an hour IF the worst rot I ever heard
my ambitious friend closed in what he thought was a blaze Of glory.
Three cheers for the speaker for fnishng!' some nj yelled
The cheers were given, and then I was introduced. 1t was a tough
proposition, but l joied along with the crowd for ONE fifteen minutes
and then launched into what thought was my best line of talk.
finished all right and the chairman said 1 had made a hit II driving 10
the hotel after the meeting the local speaker said to me:
M. Ltlehed. if 1 only had your voice, with what / have to SAY 7
would be a wonder"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

one Of the finest books about the
Irrigated west is fIhe Conquest of
Arid America" It is now entirely OUT
on print. but. fortunately permission
was given to reprint the best portion
Of nc in n ~nfiy-pago pamphlet, called
"Tho Better Half OF the United States"
Every western man ought TO read this
ma send IL TO eastern friends. For a.
o D with other literature about the
sunny San Luis valley, send four cents
I'm stamps to Zeph. Chns. Felt. 100 Bos-
ton building, Denver, Colorado.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

For a most strange reason an Of the
butchers Of Paraguay are women. and
there many occupations Invariably as
sumed elsewhere by the sterner sex
fall to the lot Of the women. The
cause of this state Of things Is the he
roic war waged by Paraguay more
than thirty years ago against the over
whelming forces Of Brazil. the Argen.
tine republic and Uruguay combined.
This war, which lasted FIVE years, bore
many singular points Of resemblance
TO the recent B0er war. IL ended in
the almost total humiliation of the
~able-bodied male population Of the
country, and the result may be read IN
the following aeuress Population of
Paraguay IN 1851. ~1.337.4s9; IN 1879
(three years after the termination Of
the war; It amounted 10 only 221.079,
anG of these nearly an were y omen,
children and very old e
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
GOOD SHORT STORIES
The Modern Business Life.

He had returned from his two weeks on looking much the better FOR
IT, and as he entered the store the proprietor advanced and shook hands
with him and gave him a warm welcome The bookkeeper was puzzled
and put out but only for a moment Then the proprietor explained
James we have had an expert on your books during your absence
Eyes, sir"
he has discovered that you have embezled 's5oooo from u 8 during
the last two years"
But sir"
Don't deny IT. james. Figures won't lie Yes you have embezzled
ss5OOOo-D
"But IL"
and I I'M glad to see vol back. We happen to be hard up at
present and If you could lend us $4,000 we'd take It S a great favor
and remember It. the first Of the year. There's a check, James and please
fl It out and go on with your work al usual Glad you had a good time
and 1 hope It won't inconvenience you in the least to pull IS out OF tho
hole. That's ALL and thank you very much"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

..Kill Your Dos and Buy d Pig"

An exchange SAYS KIN your dog and buy a pig with the dollar you
save on dog tax The scraps you feed the dog would make the pig weigh
500 pounds and then you could sell It and give your wife the money!
Yes kill your dear old faithful mindful. thankful tustfl dog and buy a
pig But when. you com home after a hard days toll don't expect that
same pig to meet you two blocks away with a joyful little cry OF welcome
at every jump. Sometimes when you feel unusually blue and IT seems
as a. the whole world was Knocking" against you. don't expect II to nestle
up to your SIDE and laying its head within your lap Wag out ia unanoyei
sympathy. Don't expect 1t to forsake is meal Of scraps" just for the
privilege Of being your companion on a lonely drive or walk Don't expect
Il to do any Of these "utue things" There's a vast difference between your
most constant friend and a pig-our Dumb Animals
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
nNSS%eC&mV
Appreciated Joke on Himself.

Judge James Todd, Owen countys celebrated wit was in Covington
recently and as usual he had a new story to tell This time the story
was on him, and he enjoyed telling it as much as his friends did hearing H.
1T ws way back during the GoebelTaylor campaign" said Judae
Todd "and was discussing politics with some friends at Owenton. II
vas court day and the town was crowded with farmers and I was having
a lively time discussing politics with them. made a remark about sup
porting a certain candidate and incidentally remarked that a gentleman
had the right 70 vote for any candidate who suited him.
Suddenly al old farmer spoke up and said: Wen, Jim. yu call
yourself a gentleman and I believe you, but I want to tell you that You
are pretty we'll disguised
That was the first time 1 ever heard of a politician and a gentleman
being disguised, and it struck MT a being a pretty rich Joke. though I war
the butt end Of it"-Cncnnati Enquirer.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

A young woman whose husband is a
bigamist says that many times she
has kept him out OF the penitentiary
n she had not been so considerable IN
the past she might not have 10 work
q hard to send him there now.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The wealthy German who has offer
ed prizes to men who marry homely
women over forty viii not have any
imltators in this country because, Of
course, there are few persons qualified
70 be benenciaries.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Any mar who has been around
among his friends trying to borrow IS
till Saturday viii hardly agree with
Comptroller Ridgely that the loans in
the country have increased at an
alarming rate.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
nsFGSN2sv
Too Much to Stand.

The prisoner rOset % speak IN hs own deenEe.
Gentlemen Of the jury" he said, 81 knew the man whom 7 an acr,yad
Of killing for years, and l suffered much at his hands He swfnded me ~ ro
greater part Of my fortune RAJ away with my wife, horsewhpped me threo
times pacdced OF the cornet for hours at a time in the room adjoining mine
and seriously annoyed me in various other ways but I bore All upeomnsi1
igy and forgave him.. But gentlemen, when he anne to M with n ta,
about how he caught sixteen fourpOund trout n a brook that wouldn't sapport
q hafOUnce mnnOw, the iron entered my soul and slew him"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Perhaps that volcano in Nicaragua
that has been emitting groaning
sounds for the last twenty days is
mourning the probable transfer of
canal operations to Panama.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Kitchener refused 10 smile at the
people who eheered him in the coro-
nation procession. Il must be real
hard sometimes to have to play the
part Of the stern, immovable warrior
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
nfA9eCRsev
A s.Dry," MeCl.

The prospect Of a dinner will generally keep a hungry man awake
But the victim II absentmindedness seems at times unable to distinguish
between what to eat and what to leave. This was the Ease with the man
who went into a London restaurant called for a newspaper and only
when reused from his reading by a waiter ordered conee and a ham
sandwich. The waiter executed the order, and deposited with the homeiy
fare a large pasteboard check. The absentmnded N went OF reading
his paper. Some quarter II an hour after the walter returned Anything
more sir?" he said. Yes" snapped the man, get me a fresh sandwich
the one you brought me was dry as a bone" The waiter looked down and
gasped. LORI" he exclaimed. here's the sandwich 1 brought you! You've
aaLan he chaaLLn
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Just what it was that Mr.. Fitzsim-
mons said to Mr.. Jehries at the fats-
ful moment seems destined to go
down to posterity with the unsolved
problems of history.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

It costs about $4,000 for a young
lady to make her debut in New York
society Of the first class. Lots Of faith.
ers would be willing to give more than
that 10 get out OF it.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The Michigan scientist who has
found a fungus that will poison mos.
quitoes may yet be so wealthy that the
ordinary patent medicine millionaire
viii envy him.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
~&SE&seo
Both Unpopular.

Judge Henry AcGinn, who was recently elected State Senator in Portland
Ore, tells this story: Two days after the last election, when the returns
showed a very close race between McGin and Dr. Harry Lane, Two Irhhmen
met One asked the other:
How is it, Mike, that in SO many votes it should be nick an nick atween
Hhnnery an Dock Lance"
"WeIl III tell ye" was the answer. They're both very onpopiuer min
an IL We knowed wan, yed be certain to vote fur tn other an booth av thin
are Id well known"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The rebels have won a battle in
Hayti. ana may, " they can pull of
another victory or two. be in a posi-
lion % challenge Jehfries for the cham
pionship.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Mrs. Clarence Mackay is just now
being exploited as an elegant faddist.
She has made babies fashionable in
the smart set.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The scientific discovery that even
the most %persevering man over 40 can
not expect to beat his small boy at
golf again illustrates that this is the
young folks age.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

A good many men who can be ex.
tremely eloquent on the right to
work. are notably backward in exer.
cising that right.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Baltimore has a big tomato trust.
It is buying up all the big canneries
and means to yet everything.
The cans It generously gives to the
public.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Germany's crown prince is said to
be determined to marry a lovely
American girl. Here's hoping that
he's half worthy Of such supreme good
fortune.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The average man is inclined to
side with strikers until they get too
near home for comfort or profit.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The Brooklyn woman who has been
sentenced 10 jail for ten days because
she slept Ia church ought 10 u the
preacher for contributory negligence
iu not providing a wide-awallo sermon.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

There seems 20 be a n~rst-class open
ing in Venice for a building inspector
who knows his business.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The Boston Herald mixes Dowie up
with the Zionist movement for set
Ting Jews in Palestine. Even Boston
mods occasionally.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Val is not such a dreadful thing
when managed as they manage it in
Colombia, no violence being per-
lifted.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Il IS emphatioally denied that ].
Pierpont Morgan IS 10 retire. There
are several outlying precincts that
have not yet come under his control.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Now look out for the coronation
poetry that was postponed. too.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Some mountains are judged by their
volcanic actions and some by their
hotel tables.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Unless the British owners loosen
up the only way to preserve Tara
hall will be in song.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

A little city girl up country has
written home that she is getting fat
on milk and eggs-right from the
cow"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The Kentucky feud is dying out.
Seven persons we're killed in one day.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The red-headed girl and the white
automobile are the latest pairs an
nOunced at the eastern watering
places.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

A North Dakota senator IS being
cured by the X-ray. There aren't
many politicians that would dare re-
sort D 30 %aaarchIng a remedy.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Have you been down to Oyster Bay
70 take luncheon with Teddy yet? All
the other prominent people are going.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Perhaps he has been called home
because he couldn't WI Congress eff
f~ectively.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Russell Sage declares that the coun.
Try has loo many holidays What
possible difference can Il make 10
him. aireo Interest draws right aloneY
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Haiti badly neuds the services OF a
husky policeman.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

The Russian bear must expect to
be bitten when he bucks the tiger.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10

Diamonds are seldom marked down low
enough TO enable short people TO reach
them.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
THO INDEX.

AZTEC NEW MEXICO
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-10-10
Denver Directory.

CTnUH REPAIRS or every known mike OF
DIV ~ stove, furnace or range. 9kO. A.
PULLEN, 1881 Lawrence g., Denver, Phone lB.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-02

ready for battle with desperadoes."
what did the sheriff do?" asked the
first deputy. E,
"He lined up to a tree by the side
of the road and folded his feet as men
do when they go to bar. Out of his
pocket he took silver quarter and
pounded in hollow place in the tree!
Something came down and the silver
disappeared. There was more noise
and presently suspicious clink of
glass. Then the thing raced down
again and the sheriff pulled out bot
tie.
"There was something mysterious
about that tree. In all my experience
L had seen nothing like that and /
knew something animate was in the
branches. But the sheriff went back
to his team and went off up the hill.
When we were well out of sight and
hearing the official pulled up by a
fence and we stole back on our toes
and sneaked across the field. Some
one approached the tree and went
through the same performance we
had no word being spoken. Then
like Indians we crept up and saw
dark object on the ground. 1t was
man. Before he could get into the
tree the sheriff caught him by the foot
I came up then and together we
pulled our captive down to earth and
put handouts on him. After that
climbed into the tree and found
whole case Of beer in the branches
and a dumb waiter that slipped up and
-, ho11 II hof xx,oc
all, except rope and board for the
barkeep to sit on"
''The man under the tree-how
about him?"
"Oh. he was not the one was look
ing for, after all. BY and by we let
him go, for there was no evidence
against him. But it shows how they
do business in Kansas"