The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-03-24
BOB BURDETTE HERE
FAMOUS HUM0RIST TELLS SOME OF.
HIS RECENT EXPE-
RIENCES
TEST OF A GOOD LECTURE
Measured by Horace GreeIey's
Standard, He Has Been Meeting
With Success-Examples
of Scotch HumOr.

humorist. better known as the "Hawkeye
Man" was at the Ryan yesterday. lie
is to deliver several lectures in the VI
cinity of St. Paul this week, and will
speak here on Thursday. When seen by
t h G be last night he was in his
usual good humor, and had time to relate
some of his recent experiences.
When asked if his lectures had proved
successful this year. he replied by relat-
ing one of his early experiences as
newspaper man. He had been sent to
interview Horace Greeley, who was in
Peoria, Ill, to deliver a lecture. He tells
the story as follows:
81 sent up my card and then began to
hope he would refuse to see me, as it
was my first assignment, and l did not
know what to say or do. But contrary to
my most ardent hopes, the bell boy re-
turned with the announcement that Mr..
Greeley wanted me to come up to his
ROOM When / came into the presence
of the old man, he smiled, and | asked
him the only question / could think of:
You have been lecturing on your way
out, have you not. Mr. Greeley?'
" Yes, he replied. I then hesitated.
and asked. Was it a successful lecturer
1T was replied Mr.. Greeley. Then fol-
lowed a pause of seve!a minutes. and
seeing my embarassnC- l. Mr.. Greeley
said: Do you know ,ynat a successful
lecture is, young nAn?' [ frankly told
him l did not He then said a successful
lecture is one where more people remain
in the hall than leave il.
Now, if that is the test Of a successful
lecture, l must say that mine are sue
cessful, as 1 have not usually been trou-
bled with people leaving the hall before
l get through.
81 am going to give my new lecture.
entitled Rainbow Chasers,' in this city
d &c. lao ina
| have just. brought out this year, and
it has proved quite popular. 1t is rather
different in style from some of the older
ones, as would be naturally expected. as
it was written by man much oldcs than
the writer of the other lectures was and
a man becomes little more serious When
he is fifty-eight TIM when he was
thirty-five. But this lecture is not in any
sense a sermon. 1t has its fun, but the
humor is perhaps a little more dry than
that of some of my earlier efforts 1t
is more of the Scotch style of humor."
Likes Scotch Humor.
"By the way, l am very fond OF the
Scotch humor. and think it is the finest
example of humor to be found. 1t is
more spontaneous, and you laugh when
there seems to have been no attempt to
make you do so. A couple of little stores
that [ have picked up in my travels IL
Illustrates what l mean by the dryness
of the Scotch humOr
zone Of them is of an engineer who was
running his first locomotive. He pulled
into a station and ran 200 feet past the
depot. He then backed up ana stopped
100 feet the other side. Starting the en-
CINE. "a gain he passed the depot so feet.
AS he was about to try again. the sta
ton master cried -oUt: 'Bide where We
are, Sandy, Wen shift the depot lit
tie
THE other is of a Scotch minister
who went, t9 his barber on Monday morn
ing to get. shaved The barber had been
drunk over Sunday, and was very nerV-
Gus. He cut the minister's face four
times before he finished shaving him. As
soon as the operation was sufficiently
completed to make it safe for the reVer-
end gentleman to speak he said: 'Whes-
key is a bad thing. Sandy. Yes re-
piled the barber, 1t do make the skin
III CO. tender -
In speaking of his travels through the
country Mr. Burdette remarked that he
was able to pick UP few good stories.
81 heard one down South that amused
me greatly. Special services were being
held in one of the churches, and a col
lection was being taken up. The minis
ter announced that Brother Brown would
lead the subscriptions with a liberal do
nation. Now Mr.. Brown was the richest
man in the congregation, but he old not
like to be called out in that way, so he
arose and said as he realized the import
aEce Of the work, he would lead the sub
sc4rption, /. list by giving s.. Everybody
was surprised as they expected a more
substantial contribution. Just as Brother
Brown was about to sit down about
square ward of plaStertng fell from the
ceiling and hit him on the head. He i'm
mediately arose and said that he had
been thinking the matter over, and con-
Guided that he would raise his subscrip-
ton 50. The minister clasped his hands
together and feryently said: oh Lord,
swat hip2 again.
Get the Money Anyway
Another story I heard that I thought
was pretty good, was of a young man
who was attending some revival meet
ingS in country locality. He had a
seat near the door, and led the sing
ing and responded so fervently during
stranger, the minister was greatly i'm
pressed with him When it was an
nounced that a collection would be taken
the young man arose and started to pass
mis- hat. As he had seemed SO earnest,
no one interferred with him, and he con-
tlnGed passing from one to another until
he reached the place where he started
Then instead of resuming his seat he
started for the door with all the woney
Just Is he went to leave the house the
minister cried out: Young man if YOU
run away with that money you'H be
id He did net STOP but started off
down the road at break-neck pace One
Of the deacons rushed to the door just
in time to see him running down the road
several rods away. He turned and cried
out eXcitedly, Parson, if he isn't running
away with that money, then I'll be
id
Mr.. Burdette will lecture in Saltwater
tonight He will then go to Ashland,
Wis, and to West Superior Wednesday
returning to the city in time to anpear
here Thursday afternoon He is accom-
panied by Mrs. Burdette He will lecture
in Minneapolis Saturday night