Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1902-11-21
FALKNOR'S SPORTING.
1T WAS MORE EXCITING THAN A
CONGRESSIONAL CAMPAIGN.

Ills Pathway One Of PIeasantness and His
Object One Of Peace-He is Led by the
! Champion Hunter Into the JunsIes Of MIN.
rod -" Ripper" "Bird Dog" is the
Scout-He Unearths Some Strong Game
The Elder Falknor Literally Stirs Up a
Hornets Nest Ripper" Helps the Guide
Prepare the MatudinaI Flap-Jack - Wonder.
ful Range Of Mule Diet.
We started on the morning of Sep
tember Sd, on hunting tour. Our
party consisted of the Hon. A. j.
Falknor, his father Levi Falknor, OF
Ohio, with John" as cook and the
writer as handy.man and guide. We
hired team of mules to haul our
baggage to our camp grounds. The
owner Of these mules assured us that
they were kind and gentle and worked
fine together. He also stated they
would not run away. We found he
was a truthful man. We could not
club them out OF walk and they did
work finely together. The one on the
near side would balk going up hill
and the one on the off side would balk
going down hill, and on level ground
they would balk together, making a
fine team to drive in Helena, Mon.
tana, or some other hilly country,
where one mule could rest while the
other baked. We had got a few
miles out of Kamilche when we struck
hill; both OF the mules were of one
mind here and that was to die of old
age right at the foot of that hill; the
Hon. A. ]. got out Of the chariot and
coaxed and pleaded with these mules
not to keep him out there in the will
derness until he became too old to
limp home. In making around the
north end of one OF the mules that
were headed south, the Hon. A. J. was
handed mule punch. After sitting
in the road for . few minutes, Mr..
Falknor got up; he had club in one
hand and q determination to kill a
mule in the other. Mr.. Falknor had
in a few moments been tranformed
from a promising young attorney into
full-fedged Judge, and he had SEN
fenced that mule to death, and for fear
there might be some delay concluded
to do the job himself; he spit on his
hands (also on mule) and swung his
war club and there was trouble in the
air (also mule hsir). Then on the
still air there was q "ee-hau-ee- hau-
han ee zee hau -haugh-hau-hau," the
crying song from mule en-brayers,
conducted by Prof. Falknor, first ap-
pearance on the road (Kamilche road).
The mules did not wait for an encore,
but tore up the hill like q runaway
train with the Hon. A. J. waving his
trusty baton around their little ears
and other parts that were to be be
reached by small but very angry
man.
l forgot to mention Ripper, our
bird.dog. On our way out, Ripper
found . ripe horse by the roadside.
The horse was dead, and over-ripe by
the odor. Ripper concluded to use il
as his visiting card to the other dogs
along the road, as he went to the
horse and took horse.hide bath, with
mule.tail shampoo (Butler house
style). It was Q loud success. The
farmers along the road held their
noses with one hand while they reached
for the cellar-door with the other.
Ripper, as I stated, is a bird-dog.
Chickens were his strong suit. In
driving past . ranch, Ripper would dis
appear, and then re.appear with q
chicken. After we had passed several
ranches. the Hon. A. J. began to
throw away such useless baggage as
Armour's Pickles, Angel Toes and
Pinkham's Picked Pork, and Skeeter
Steaks, as we needed the room in our
poultry department. After getting
down near Elma, Ripper went out in
the lonely forest and caught chicken,
called skunkchino, one of them l.
can.smell.it.in.T .Tenino. kind. Q am
sure they could smell it in Elma). 1t
was q living boquet of visiting cards
in dogdom. Az We drove around the
corners in the city of Elma, the en-.
tire town stood and held its nose with
one hand while it pointed to the near.
! est road out Of town with the other.
When we struck the Satsop river,
we were happy, thinking Ripper would
get a Bu.ler-house bath (American
style). When we struck the river,
Ripper went on until he found a log.
jam and skated over. When we made
camp that night one man mounted
guard to keep Ripper from getting too
numerous around camp, while the
rest of the party were learning to pick
chickens without scalding them. All
that night the winds seemed to whis.
per "A horse on Ripper" and "a
skunk on YOU; it surely smelled that
way. During the night it began to
rain. 1t come down in drops as big
as a wash-tub. The water run in one
end OF our tent and out at the other
making it very handy to get water fol
camp purposes and for bathing, as We
could take bath without getting out
OF bed. Mr.. Levi Falknor took bath
n the river the first night We struck