The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-10-01
THE GRAND PROMOTER.
Raj. Crofoot Plays in Hard Luck, but
Has New Schemes.


Major Crofoot, grand promoter, gen
eral organizer and nondebt payer, had
been eyicted from his office for nom
payment of rent, and he was sitting on
his rickety old desk in the corridor and
wondering where he could find another
landlord to be taken in when his old
friend Col. Dawson climbed the stairs
and discovered him.
Hello, major! But what's this?" ask
ed the colonel as he came to an abrupt
halt
Thrown out on the world for the
want of 500 dolefully replied the ma
jor.
Then it has come at last?"
1T has. Millions and millions in pros
pect. Only yesterday / started in to
make corner on the peppermint crop
of the world and reap clear profit of
s5,000,000. but the landlord wouldn't
wait"
'Um, UNI! But you amt going to give
up, major? You'll try and weather this
thing somehow"
SAY, Colonel Dawson" replied the
promoter as he stepped back to survey
his friend did you ever hear of the
phenix bi~d?''
Il think have, major. It's a crow
or buzzard or something like2r
1.-The phenix bird is bird that rises
been destroyed and begins business
again. You may burn all his tail feath-
ers off, but he rises just the same and
proceeds to grow new ones. He's got
ambition and pluck and he'll get there
in the end. I'm that phenix bird. colo
mel"
Shoe! Going to rise right up again.
eh?"
That's what I'm doing. colonel. and
/ it won't be a week before my heartlesS
and selfish landlord will be asking me
/ to come back and take the room rent
| free. I've got ideas. plans. schemes
! dozens of them. All want is a few
days time to develop some of the like
lest. 1 was working the biggest
i thing yet when the sheriff threw me
out You know what the trolley car is,
of course?
Il think do, major-I think so. They
Just So But what becomes of the
electricity after it gets through running
the carp
"Um. umr replied the colonel as he
scratched his head and looked puzzled.
It's wasted, Colonel Dawson-wast-
ed in the air and in the earth. There's
4 a waste of "a per cent of the power
right along every hour in the day Why
not save it and utilize it? That's one
of my ideas-to save the waste and
make it run more cars. The same vast
ed power can be used to pass Il box
along for the fares, to push a fat man
along on the seat, to open and close
umbrellas when 1t rains, to chuck
redheaded man off the cars if he won't
pay his fare and to pack the passen-
gers like sardines. can make it do
i lots more, but you get my idea"
Il do, major. Looks to me as if there
/ ought to be a fortune in it
Three or four of them, colonel. Give
me week to perfect my ideas, and I
wouldn't take $4,000. 900 for my chances.
That isn't all, however; that's only one
of fifty good things I've got in my head.
You've had chilblains on your feet
! colonel?"
/ or5x1
And you've had to scratch 'em
Scratching doesn't do any good, but
folks keep it up. See what trif1ing
thing may lead to If taken up by q
great head and properly worked out. In
these United States there are something
like 100000 people who have chilblains
! every winter. Each one wastes al least
three days time in scratching. Every
time you scratch your foot you exert
the tenth of a horsepower. In one year
there is power enough wasted to run all
the factories in any one state. It's
wasted and gone, and no one has had
the least benefit
But how are you going to do away
with chilbiains?" asked Colonel Dawson
as he puzzled his brows.
1T can't be DONE" replied the major.
And if you get chilblains you've got
to scratch 'em, no matter if it don't do
any good
Just so. But the idea is to store up
and make commercial use of that lost
clear yet, but inside of two weeks I'll
have the problem solved and my COM
paEy organized. You can come in on
the ground floor and get stock at so
cents on the dollar. but the public will
have to buy at par from the start. What
do you think of the scheme?' %
It's a wonderful idea, major, Won
derful. and I believe you are the man
to carry it out. Any further schemes? p
only dozen or SO. The man who
thinks Major Crofoot is downed because
he's thrown outdoors makes a big mis-
take. 1t has happened now and then
that you have been afflicted with a
eough-one to lift your heels off the
ground. How much power was exerted
to cough a cough?"
Shoe! That's another new one" re-
piled the colonel, with a look of admi-
ration.
1T has to do with the waste of power
I've been talking about. 1t takes just
rs much power. to cough as to climb a
fence OF the 100000 people in the
United States one-fourth are coughing
all the time. They cough because they
can't help It, and I'm not going to
blame them, but it's all wasted energy
just the same I've figured the waste al
$4,000 600 horsepower every year, and
that would run all the sugar factories
to find way to store up this power and
apply it Where it's wanted. You must see
what big thing it is?'
IT'S immense, major-poSitively i'm
mense."
There is cough in every house
and that cough contains power enough
to run an elevator or sewing machine
; or do the family washing. Two coughs
!. will saw all the wood and carry the
Z ash barrels outdoors. l don't know ex
Z actly how the waste power is to b'
1 caught and stored up, but the idea vii
come to me sooner or later. I've go
confidence in myself, and I'll maxi
other people have confidence in me-"
]. They'll have to. mator-they'll sure
!. ly have to- replied the colonel wht
!. was beginning to wonder how mucl
! the major would strike him for
i And that amt ALL" continued the pro
i moter. with added courage. Look at tn,
3 power wasted In every game of football
e hasnhall In h1nrsa th.ar.