The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-08-25
Outline Studies
Of Human Nature
Thought It American Humor.


DR.. Newell Dwight Hills, pastor Of
Plymouth church, Brooklyn. relates an
experience that shows what strange
freaks of chance sometimes happen. Dr.
Hills, together with a number of other
American preachers and many profess
sors, was attending an educational con-
ference in Edinburgh, Scotland. There
were visitors from all over the world.
At banquet given by the Scotchmen to
their guests DR.. Hills found himself
seated next a heavy browed professor of
metaphysics of one of the Scotch uni
versities.
Finding that his neghbor was from
New York, the professor began to ask
questions.
II know America is quite a large coun-
try he remarked, "and l know Chi
cago is long distance from your home.
but l have had some correspondence with
Professor b., of that city, and thought
you may have CHANGED to know him.
Did you ever meet him?'
II know him very WELL" replied the
Brooklyn preacher. "There he sits at the
next table, the third man from the end
of the other side"
"Well, we'll! How remarkable" eX-
claimed the Scotchman, with rather in
creduous glance at his companion.
~ have also had some correspondence
Michigan" continued the metaphysician.
II guess you know nothing of him."
On the contrary, I know him quite well.
There he is over near the corner of the
room, the man with whiskers and gold
spectacles."
This was too much of a coincidence
for the Scotchman's credulity. He was
plainly suspicious and inclined to be net
tied
. caiJ bo wat Iar eli n
this is American humor, and you are
making game of me?'
Not at ALL" said DR.. Hills: II am
giving you only facts"
Every rcmarkable! very remarkable!'
exclaimed the professor. ''Well, sir, I
have had relations with one other Amerl-
can, I presume you know him also?'
There was note of sarcasm in the
query.
"Who was he?"
"He was minister somewhere near
New York. certain DR.. Hills"
"Yes" said the other, tapping himself
on the breast. II am Dr. Hillis''
With snort of indignation the Scotch
man pushed back his chair and fled the
room. American humor had been carried
too far.-New York Tribune.
Played His Client False.
II shall have TO make lawyer out or
that boy of mine. l don't see any other
way out of it," declared the we'll known
attorney with laugh. 'EIe came into
my office the other day on his way home
from school and laid nickel down on
the desk before me.
"'What Is this for, SOM I asked.
Retainer he answered soberly.
Every WE'LL said /. entering into the
joke. What have been retained upon?'
my boy dug down into his pocket and
placed it before me, without comment. 1T
was to the effect that he had been cut
ting up and advised a whipping.
"'Now, what would you advise? asked
he in a buslness-like voice after l had
read the note and saw the trap that
young rascal led me into.
~ think that our first move should be
to apply for change of venue, said L.
"'Very WE'LL he answered. you're
handling the case
""Then we will turn the note over to
your mother said ".
II saw the young imps face fall at
this, but he braced up and said,
"'See here, pop, you're bound to see me
through on this, cause you've accepted
my retainer. you know"
".Ill argue your case before the court
i answered, but you'll have to accept the
decision. would not dare to attempt to
influence the court
"Well, | pleaded the boys case, prompt
ly had 1t thrown out of court, and the
boy got what he deserved, a good whip
ping.
1T was the first time ever played
false to client."-Detroit Free Press.