Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1902-10-31

He'll what hat!" She-"Why, In
our W fiat, of course"
Wigg-'Is he a man of Intelligence"
Wagg-"I suppose so. At any rate, he
has never served on a jury"
Nell-"Love doesn't seem to agree
with Maude. She is thinner by TWEEN
ty pounds than she used to be-" Belle
-"She has loved and lost, eh?"
M~erchant--'I want this ad. where
everyone will see It," Solicitor-'We
charge higher rates for space on the
baseball page."-Daltimore World.
Have you any Marconi roses?"
asked the man entering the florists
what are theyT inquired the puz-
zled dealer In flowers. 'Wireless ones"
Customer lin restaurant)-"Look
here, waiter, I've found a button in
this salad" Waiter-"That's all
right, sir; It's a part Of the dresslng"
-Tit-Bits.
Muggins-I understand that friend OF
yours is a millionaire. Is he one of the
open-handed, extravagant kind? Dug
gins-Yes, indeed. Why, he even pays
his taxes.
Dolly-"Your ride in the auto must
have been just lovely and exciting"
Madge-'It was exciting, but not love-
ly. Charlie had to use both hands to
work it."-Judge.
Prison Visitor-"What brought you
here, my manT Convict-"Danged IL
bile. cause they didn't have nom in
them Observation-Disclosures Press.
did yew ever salt Sheep" asked
the farmer of the new hired man, who
came from Colorado. NO." replied the
new hired hand. 'but I've had consid-
cradle experience in sailing mines"
what! you call me pretty? Why. I
am an old woman; my hair Is turning
white, and, look, here Is a wrinkle!"
"A wrinkle! No, madam, it is a smile
that has drifted from its moorings!'
What is your nativltyY' asked the
magistrate. Il amt got any. y'r hon
or" said the blear-eyed inebriate, feel
ing In his pockets: 1.-The police took ev-
erything l had."-Chicago Tribune.
Father-"I thought l heard our John
ME say he was sick, and now l see he's
out coasting. Did you do anything for
himT" Mother-"Yes. l brought in all
the evening coal."-Ohio State Journal.
II suppose you set a good table, re-
marked the man who was looking for
board. well" replied the landlady,
three of my regular boarders are laid
up with the gout."-Chicago Daily
News.
I'm sorry you don't like the new
nurse" she said to her husband. "She's
SO good about singing to baby and
keeping him quiet" YES" was the
calm reply; but I'd rather hear the
baby cry"
The little girl was watching her
mother and father discussing a plate
of oysters the other night. Mann
ma" she said. after some thought,
you eat them face and all, don't your"
Boston journal.
Mrs. Youngbride-I've come to com.
plain of that flour you sent me. Grocer
What was the matter with 1t? Mrs.
Youngbride-It was tough. | made a
pie with it, and it was as much as my
husband could do to cut lt.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Weary Wlllle-"I jes' put In a good
days work in thirty minutes" Prayed
Fagin-"Explaln yerself." Weary vii.
lie-"Well. | put In six pies, a pan Nv
%doughnuts an four Jars Nv preserves.
OATS Il good days work fer any wom-
a~n."-Judge.
The Suitor-l wish to marry your ED.
est daughter, sir. Her Father-Oh, you
do, Ell? Are you In a position to sup
port a family? The Suitor-I think so,
sir. Her Father-Well. you had better
be sure Of II. There are ten OF us all
told.-Chlcago News.
what is the greatest fb that ever
impressed itself on your experience.
Snapperf" Well, by all odds, the worst
one l ever heard was that your quar-
tette perpetrated last night when they
came round to the house and sang,
There's Music In the Air."
why is 1t that SO few people seem
anxious to talk to Mr.. Carplngton? lie
seems well informed" That's lust
the difficulty" answered Miss Dlmple.
ton. Hes one of those dreadful men
who xnow enough to correct your mis-
takes when you quote the classics. and
who doesn't know enough not to do It."
Il am selling a new cyclopedia." be-
gan the well-dressed man who had been
ushered Into the reception room on the
strength OF his makeup: would you
care to look at ItT' faint no use"
rovliaJ Mrs Naurt,h. ..I.a tt