Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-09-25
The Man Who Whines.

what star he was born The man
who wishes is worst of all. He is
far and away worse than a woman
who has nothing to do but to whine
and complain and wish she lived like
other folks.
The woman who whines usually
imagines she has a grievance. She
thinks that she is i'll and feels a
agrieved if everybody she meets
doesn't weep in sympathy with her
affection: Her troubles are brood
ed over until they become real and
end in nervous prostration.
And it is exceedingly strange
that washwoman never has nerv-
Gus prostration. She has to much
on hand. She is obliged to hustle
from morning until away into the
night in order that she may make
living and she is not through with
one days work before she begins
the next, SO she has not time to en-
gage in Injuries. She has not time
to have nervous protration because
she has not time to whine. When
ever she feels inclined to have a
touch of the nerves she knocks the
stuffing out of six-bit washing
and by the time she cas- the spots
knocked out of a half dozen of
overalls and when she gets through
the complicated process of applying
forty or forty five pairs of govern
ment socks to the dashboard and
then running them through the
wringer as if she were making saus
age, she has no time to whine, hence
no nervous prostration.
You may say the washwoman is
not sensitive and high strung like
those who are affected with the
whines and nerves and things. Yet
there are women who chop the
kitchen wood and hustle the jackets
off the potatoes and hunt the gay
and festive cabbage worm in his
native lair, and they teach the hi
larious spring calf how to avoid get
ting it's provisions down the wrong
throat" yet when they:get married to
some bright young squirt, who knows
how to pound sand provided some
one gave him big round hammer,
she Immediately collapses and the
people say ''Ah me, she has nervous
prostration. And yet it is not be-
cause her mentality is so highly de-
veloped, for I have seen this occur
when the woman didn't know any
more than long division in arithme-
tic. But still I do not object.
This is not any of my affair. l
am not trying to attend to other
peoples business because I have
more of my own than I can attend
to correctly. I noticed the people
who try to look after other peoples
business are frequently in demand
by the sheriff, who requires them
to look down the vista of a nice at
tachment suit to see if it will fit.
The man who whines has great
deal on his hands. He whines be-
cause the weather is never right.
1t is too hot or too cold, too wet or
too dry. The government doesn't
suit him no odds what party is right
although he does nothing to help
correct them.
There are international complica-
tons which cause him loss of sleep.
The newspapers don't talk about
the things he wants discussed. He
wants the Bible revised and even
the Lamentations of jeremiah do
not suit him, Notwithstanding it is
mostly a whine all the way through.
Jobs complaining doesn't suit the
man who whine because he thinks
he might have taken Hoods Sars-
aparilla for those eruptions. The
merchants are all giving short
weights and measure. The wind
blows too hard or too soft Weevils
are in his wheat, blight on his peach
es, smut on his corn, rust in his
oats. His horses have the epizootic,
and his COWS the hollow horn. He
breaches the gospel of despair and
the religion of gloom. The sun
never shines for HIM. It is always
cloudy. When he goes to heaven
and sees the golden streets and the
great white throne, he will ask:
"why don't they use some silver,
too; and why didn't they paint it
redo" And St. Peter will say, "Get
below, we have no room for people
who whine. Excuse us, but it is
enough to have lot of whining old
women. Good day, safe journey"