Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-01-11

the stand to prove the correctness of
the physicians bill.
The man was asked by counsel for the
defense whether the doctor did not make
several visits after the patient was ont
of danger.
No. was the reply, Il considered the
patient IN danger 80 long as the doct@r
continued his visits New York Times.
An lrishman who was out of work
went On board a vessel that was in the
harb0r and asked the captain Il he could
! find him work on the ship.
Well said the captain, at the same
time handing the Irishman piece Of
rope, IF you can find three ends TO that
rope you shall have some work"
The Irishman got hold Of one end of
the, rope and, showing it to the captain,
| said:
That's one end. your honor"
Inen ne took hold of the other end,
and, showing it to the captain as before,
said:
And that's two ends. your honor"
Then, taking hold OF both ends Of the
| rope, he threw ii overheard. saving:
And. faith there's an end 10 the rope,
yonr honor!-that's three
lie was engaged.-Tit-Bits.
After preaching sermon Oh the fate
| Of the wicked. an English clergyman met
| an old woman well known for her Cos
sip.ng propensities. and he said: Il
| hope my sermon has borne fruit. You
| heard what / said about the place where
| there shall be no wailing and gnaShing OF
| teethF' We'll, as to that, answered
| the dame. IF | as anythink to say, 1t be
| this: Let them gnasn their teeth as has
| Cm--l amt. -Argonaut.
| The odd things schoolboys say some
| times when trying to be entertaining are
often spoken Of" says a teacher quoted
| by the Philadelphia Record. but think
the limit was reached by one of my schol-
| arS couple of weeks ago. | had been
| i'll for several weeks, and the boys were
very uneasy about me, and showed their
! solicitude by calling every day to inquire
| yaleScent one of them came in to see
/ me. After the usual greetings he stood
| awkwardly shifting from one foot to the
! other. Finally he looked out of the win
dow. and a happy thought struck him.
Woodlands cemetery was just few
blocks away. I'm awful glad you're bet
ter. Miss Jones' he said; but / was just
a-thinking that if you should happen to
get worse it is Il good thing the cemetery
is SO handy to you
---:o:
| 1t is said that at certain seasons in
| Scotland, when tine fishing is not very
| brisk, the fishermen act as caddieS and
are easily recognized by their costume.
4 wooden jersey and trousers braced up
| to the armpits One of these was asked
his name by the gentleman for whom he
was carrying, the reply was ''Weel. sir,
hereabouts they maistley ca me 'Breeks,
but ma maiden name is Broom ="
Tt-Bits.
-:O:--
So I
tician was asked by his wife to lay aside
politics long enough one day TO dig the
potatoes in the garden. He consented.
and, after digging few minutes. went
into the house and said he had found q
coin. He washed it off. and ii proved to
jeans and went back to work Present
Is he went to the house again and said
he had found another coin He washed
tue dirt off il, and this time it was a
silver half-dollar. He put it in his jeans
Il have worked pretty hard" said he
TO his wife; Il guess I'll take a short
nap" When he awoke. he found that
his wife had dug all the rest Of the po-
tatoes. But she found no coins. 1t theE
daWned upon her that She had been
worked"
At the monthly conciave of certain
rural council it was decided that an hon
orarium be awarded 10 the secretary.
whose fidelity had won the esteem Of ali.
One worthy but illiterate member, how
ever, put an amendment as follows:
Gentlemen, our faithful secretary really
don't need such thing. If We give i'm
4 honorarium he couldn't play it. | pro-
pose we give him some money instead"
-Tit-Bits.
His face showed like quilt of many
patches, and he was on clutches, and his
right arm was in sling.
He my son, sub" explained Brother
Dckey-"de one wild de eddication
Been playing football, has he?'
NO, suh-not lately"
Railroad wreck, them"
no. sub, dat amt what hit him"
Been trying to lynch him.
No. sub, he 'scaped dat, too"
We'll. what ON earth did he run
against?'
DE race problem, sub. He no sooner
got his college papers dan he lit inter de
race problem; but reckon hit must "a
seen i'm comin'-fer dar he is .-Atlanta
Constitution.
The H0stess-'I don't know rs your
mamma would like to have me ask you
to take another piece of pie, Johnny"
Johnny-"She won't care, S long as it
doesn't cost her anything: do yer, map
Mamma tsmiling sweetly)-"Y on naugh
ty boy, to say such thingS?"
Johnny got his other piece. hut his
peace of mind is troubled at that smile
Boston Transcript.
The latest in yells,'" says The Kansas
City Journal, lis that of the convicts
| on their way from the Jail to the county
III which they We're sentenced TO the pen
itentiary. A gang of fifteen of them
from Buchanan county. the sheriff,s
guests on a special car, gave vent 10 this
yell ut each railway station they passed
between st. Joseph and Jefferson City
a few days ago: Two years-tive years
We will stay; didn't like st. Joe any
way!
Uncle Beniamin-"What yoh glib me
foah NAH hossT'
Rastus-"Ah'l gil. yOh load o hay;