Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-04-24
Tales Of the Town.

The writer of this column has often
thought if the fates had not driven him
into the newspaper business he would
have preferred being preacher.
There is no accounting for tastes In
this direction. Years ago when he
was small boy, his ambition was to
be a milkman-an occupation which
seemed to afford the ideal existence
Of leisure coupled with profit. He
grew out of that am bition and is fain
to confess that later knowledge is
driving away the desire to be a
preacher. 1t isn't an easy li+e, for
the man who wears the cloth is ex-
pected to be all things to all people
and has often to hide under cloak OF
friendliness feelings of repulsion and
disgust. And when the congrega-
ton begins to act meanlY IL can give
cards and spades to any other aggre-
cation in the world.
From the time of the Reverend
Stiggins, impossible creation of Dick
ems fertile imagination, preachers
have been as variegated in ability,
manner of life and habit of thought
as other people, and it is fair to pre-
sumo that in so large number there
are found all sorts and conditions OF
men, but [ think it would be difficult
TO find one not gifted with the ability
to disguise his feelings when the ex-
preston of them is impolitic. How
is 1T, wonder, that the reverend gen
tlemen possess so large share of dip
lomacy? Is it part of the training,
or is it an acquired habit of the call
ing? Ask Rev. Brown of the Congre-
gational church how he manages to
retain such smiling demeanor when
discussing the acts of the few who op-
pose him.
knew once young clergyman
whose bette noir was the preparation
and delivery of sermons. His father,
gifted with eloquence above the COM
mon, was also clergyman and it was
mis- greatest hope that the son should
acquit himself with acceptance of the
duty of pronouncing those homilies
from the pulpit in which lays the
clergyman greatest possibility OF
making a good impression. The boy
shirked the duty as long as possible,
but had finally to bow to parental
authority. Sunday morning service
was selected for his opportunity, and
the proud father, settling his surplice
and leaning back in, the almost pom
tifical chair he made his especial
throne when not preaching, within
the altar rails, awaited with keenest
interest the pastoral effort of his son.
The youngster demonstrated at least
that brevity is an admirable quality
in the preacher, for his sermon was
as follows: dearly beloved breth-
rem he said, 81 do not intend to de-
tain you long this morning, but ]
wish to impress upon you the fact
that it is just as impossible for rich
man to enter the kingdom Of heaven
as it is for COW to calve in rocks
nest, and now to God, the Father"
ETC., and the rich banker of the con-
gregation sent in his resignation, the
young fellow abandoned the church
on his fathers recommendation and
sought employment as writer OF
telegrams-th one occupation above
all others quiring terseness of ex-
preston.
Of course there are some preachers
whose presence is over-awing and
who appear little less than ogres to
the infantile mind. | knew such a
one in the days of my childhood and
recall with vividness the sense of un-
worthiness with which his appearance
impressed me. The first time he took
a meal at the house [ was duly eau
behavior at the table. He came, and
when he looked at me [ was weig hted
down with realization of my own
unworthiness and of his eminent
righteousness. To speak to such a
parsonage in the ordinary language
of every day was impossible, and l
hesitated long ere | ventured to adj
dress him. But [ was in need of the
butter and between dry bread and
summoning up courage to ask the di-
vine to pass the butter the latter
seemed the lesser evil. But how to
frame the request in words which
would be acceptable to so holy a per-
sonage? That was the rub. 1t
seemed most suitable that the merest
racueSt Should he framed reliUiOuSlV