Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-12-06
JOBSON'S NEW SUIT

Don't you really think. my dear mildly
suggested Mrs Jobson to Mr.. Jobson one
evening about two months ago, when he
seemed to be In an afrable humor. that
this year you ought to have an evening
| suit?" Il
Now Mrs. BISON had been making this
same suggestion to Mr.. Jobson every season
| for something like fifteen years, and had
always been rebuffed, But the soul of the
married woman never despairs when she
| imagines that she is pretty well acquainted
| with her imam and is learning him better
all the time, and by such persistence had
Mrs. Jobson won many victories in other
directions And so she took the chance
on this evening suit suggestion once again
But 1t was again failure. Mr.. Jobson
drew himself up straight in his MOTIFS
cnair. giared at her much as . sne mac nae
| Just thrown a book at his head ana missed
| 1t by half an inch, and groWled:
Madam, am often tempted to wonder
| IL you possess the notion that have no
more Of a memory than a snake doctor
Are you aware of that fact that you have
| been making that same idiotic proposal TO
me regularly ever since-since the deluge,
and that just as regularly l have tod you
that never, SO long as have enough breath
| left in my frame to snuff Christmas can
| die held at a distance of half an inch from
| my nose will ! do such an in1becile trick
| as u OOn one OF those Splke-ldH dAdIS
that make man look like a
But interposed Mrs. Jobson. soothing1y,
| Il am sure that you would look so nice In
evening clothes. you are so-so-er-portiy'
you know, and"
| That will do about the portliness,
| growled Mr.. Jobson. III you want to come
right out and say that am fat, fat, Just
| you go ahead and do it, instead OF trying
| to stick In these little cat-dabs. don
weigh as much as ton Of coal yet, at that,
| and, even if l did, 1t wouldn't be any dis
grace, and if you have got the idea that
It's the whole duty Of mans ms w %,Iect TO
| responsible for, why"
II only meant" put in Mrs. Jobson. mol
| lifyingly, that think man who is si1gnt-
| ly stout, You know, always looks much bet
| ter in evening clothes than a thin man, and.
besides, You know all of your friends have
| evening suits, and when they go to the
theater or anywhere at night they
1t doesn't make a particle OF dlrerence TO
| me, Mrs. Jobson, what my friends have
| got" broke in Mr.. Jobson. leaning back In
| his chair ponderously and twiddling his
| thumbs MY friends have got whole lot
| Of things that 1 don't want and wouldn't
| have"
ooh, well, if you don't like evening clothes
| of course" went on Mrs. Jobson, only
| thought that as we're now getting along
Bit, and people even of old-fashioned ideas
are becoming much more liberal about
these things, why you might >
Well l mightnt," cut in Mr.. Jobson,
fashionedness suits me right down to the
ground when it comes to wearing an outfit
or toys that makes any man, no matter
how he may shape up in decent attire for
sense, look like a popinjay or a Wilie-boy
or waiter or an undertaken. When get
so that l am willing to add spikes to the
rear end of my coat, l want you to call
hack and have me shipped over to that big
building on the other side of the Eastern
branch just as fast as / can be taken there.
| I am willing to stand for all of your luna
| cies, Mrs Jobson, like Mission furniture
and Delft ware and gilded milking stools
| tied with cherry ribbons in the parlor, and
all that sort Of tommyrot, but you needn't
expect that Pm going to become freak
myself just to give you countenance.
so you might well cancel all dates,
now and forever, when it comes to suggest
ing the dress-suit scheme to me. I'd as
soon go to the theater in a suit Of pajamas
or G-string and a string of tigers teeth,
and that's all there is about it. Is the base
ment door locked? All right-Im going to
bed
Which, even to the hopeful mind of Mrs.
Jobson, seemed to settle the evening-c,othes
proposition, for another year at least.
But it didn't The Jobsons were just sit
ting down at dinner the other evening when
small boy lugged oblong box down the
basement steps and rang the bell. Mrs.
Jobson anSwerSd the ring and received the
box. which site brought into the dining
| room with an Repression of mystification.
Mr. Jobson, on the other hand, wore
sheepish look
What is it?" inquired Mrs Jobson. hold
ing the box up and examining the outside
of 1t curiously, a woman will examine
the outside of a telegram and wonder who
has sent it, without thinking of opening it
to find out
Look and see." said Mr. Jobson, in
rather a guilty tone.
why" exclaimed Mrs Jobson, raptur-
ously, when she had opened the box, Its
an evening suit
What did you think 1t was" inquired
Mr. .1OhSOn to hide his SheeDiShneSS "a
horse and buggy
Mrs. Jobson threw back her head and
laughed merrily, and then shook an arch
finger at Mr.. Jobson.
And" she said, still laughing delighted
ly, latter all you have said against dress
suits
Mr. Jobson rose from the table and threw
down his napkin.
"Who ever said word in his whole life
against dress suits?" he growled. Me?
You never heard me even utter the word
dress suit, madam, since the day l first
met you, although I've been secretly long
ing and hankering for one ever since the
day Of my marriage. The only reason
haven't had dress suits all these years Is
because have been 600 busily engaged in
making good for your extravagances. And
now that have felt able to get one and to
indulge In the pleasure of wearing It, find
myself ridiculed and jeered and laughed at
and treated with vituperation and scorn
over it. Very well, madam. I am always
willing to yield to your capriciousness. and
YOU may give the dress suit to the ashman
I clearly see is your desire. But beware of
going too far with me, Mrs. JobSon-be-
ware-that's all I've got to say"
Nevertheless, Mr.. Jobson wore the even
ing clothes to the theater that same night.
and looked as proud Of them as a boy with
md c LODI