West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-05-29
SOME ARIZONA MCKlETS.

UUmL hhlLUM MOhL[lO.
Number cf Casually SELECTED Para.
graphs from The Wild Nests
Great Newspaper.
Our private editorial graveyard, With i,s
IL tombstones, seems TO have passed
through the rigcrs Of winter a, well as any.
ihing in this locality.
we shall make brief call ON LAWYER
Jim Wheeler Tomorrow and ask him il he
has signed petition for our removal as
we climb the stair.
No less than six photographers have Sc, up
business in this town within the last two
years, to make failure Of If. We are a
people without beauty or vanity and don't
want even looking glass TO comb our
hair by.
Our esteemed contemporary has had the
mumps. measles and whooping cough this
pas, winter, and ye, we shall no, take ad i.
vantage of the occasion to observe that he
must be in his second childhood.
IL The suckers in the East don't &c, scared
OH, this is going to he great year for tho
Western man with hole in the ground.
We know Of about 40 Golcondas ready for
disposal to the first lat who comes along.
and there are probably hundred more
lying around loose.
The Lone Jack .'Recorder," referring 10
our ambition to become governor OF Arizona,
paihciically exclsims: "Great Scott. bu,
is there no limi, to this fellows impu.
denee ?" We are afraid there is not Our
vaul'ng ambition keeps right ON vaul,iue.
aud II also seems TO get there every time.
--o:D-
Mr. John Swift, the popular druggist.
was compelled to shoot man named Tanner
through the shoulder an evening or Two
since to settle dispute over the prices of
porous plasters. Mr. Swif,'s prices ar.
always rock bottom and his plasiers ful, of
draw, and the general public will be with
him in any little trouble of the above sort.
We mounted our cayuse and rode forth
last Wednesday 10 interview Colonel
Rankin of Three Star ranch, TO sec why h.
had stopped his paper After reaching the
ranch and exchanging a dczeh shots with
the colonel he explained that il was all a
mistake and gave MS two extra subscriptions
for parties in the East. When subsctibcr
stops his Kicker" we want to know all the
why's and wherefores of u, and IL there is
any shooting he is to blame for IT,
o:o-
Parties left here yesterday 10 search for
Jake llooirr, who was bu,ied in a snowsIide
at Black Wolf tayine in December. lake
was drunk at the time of the slide, and /,
seems io be The opinion of his friends that
30 feet Of snow over his head wouIsIn't have
made any great difference to him.
--o:o-
Ii is understood that Inc bon ton of this
town, which consists mostly of oufself and
Mrs. Major Garter, will make croqaet a
fashionable game this summer. II is also
expected that the boys will st around on the.
fences and shoot at the balls as they roll
over the grass, as there is no idea of build.
ing up an aristocracy among us.
Should any subscriber within 90 miles Of
Giveadam GuIch remember the hanging
of Charles Ropes wi,hing the last six uonths
for any particular reason we ask him to
communicate with us. Charles brother.
who lives in Florence, is anxious 10 pei
news of him, and wen anxious To oblige.
Give Charles las, words II possible.
900
We have no aching desire ofUllow Broth,
Hastings OF the Grass Valley Tribune" 10
his last resting place or to deprive The town
OF bright and shining organ, but If the
''rribune" persists in calling us an unhung
scoundrel aud a red-handed william we shall
ride over to the Valley and shoot brother
Hastings full of holes md see him deeently
planted under yewyew or some other sort
of tree.
--o:o--
a widow with nine children and her
household goods reached this town yes,cr.
day on her way farther west in search Of
home. The wagon was drawn by horse
and mule hitched up together, and the
widow was cross eyed and all her progeny
redheaded The outfit stood on Apache
avenue for three or four hours, aud the
woman offered TO accept most anything for
husband, but she had 10 drive on At las, as
she had come. The men hanging out
stound this town seem TO have lost ali feeling
Of chivalry.
--o:o--
The Pine Hill "Banner" announces msny
improvements 10 its columns for the coming
year and claims TO have come to say we
are sorry that or,hography is not mentioned
among the Other tn,n,ov1msn,. We ,..,