davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Horse and ii. bby

At dinner given by the Lotos Club
the other night Rev Dr. Thomas p
Slicsr told the Following story. which
he said was intended to define the
pi OCCASIONAL reformer:
81 visitor at an insane asylum saw
an inmate sitting on a table, which he
was striking violently with a cane
and shouting at in terms jockey
might use to a racehorse. The visitor
said to him pleasantly
That's fine horse you have there
That amt horse said the insane
man contemptuously- cant you see
for yourself it ain't?"
Well said the visitor. IF it isn't
a horse what do you can it?''
Why, that's hobby. said the
rider, redoubling his efforts to start
his steed.
And what's the difference between
a horse and a hobby queried the as
toniShed visitor.
The insane man paused in his eff
forts and turned to his questioner and
said sadly:
why the difference between
horse and a hobby is you can get off 4
horse. but you can't get off hobby
ssThe trouble with the professional
reformer'' concluded Mr.. S1icer. lis
that he can't get off the hobby -
New York Tribune.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
a Rare Opportunity.

Mamma was showing Teddie pic
lures in the Bible Picture Book. Pres
emily they came to <tElijah's Ascen-
SION Tedd1e noticed the men stand
ing round. looking up at the chariot
of fire and said:
why don't the rest grab ahoId?''
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Don't Worry.

Suppose said the man with the
morbid imagination, that the trusts
make everything SO expensive that
the public can't afford to buy: what
then ?''
Now, what's the use of talking
nonsense2 answered the business
man <A1l the fun a trust has is TAX
ing peoples money from them. When
they get all the money they'll simply
have to give lot of it out again or
stop the whole amusement
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24

Those Bargains
Ascum-How's your wife this morn
ing?
Bargen-Very happy indeed
Ascum-Why, 1 heard she suf-
fering from bad cold
Bargen-Oh, she has cold, but she's
not suffering. You see, some time ago
she bought a bottle of cough medicine
at bargain sale, and she begin
ming to despair of ever having a chance
to use it
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
The Best of Everything.

Yes. madam, I understand that you
want your book of verses got up in our
best style, regardless of expense
That's 1T, exactly
You want Morocco binding, gilt top,
calendared paper and the illustrations
must be best haIf-toneS.
.sHalf-tones! No, indeed They must
be whole tones or nothing
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Not In Training.

I'm afeared John IL never get to
the halls of congress- sighed the old
lady.
'sWhy-what's to hinder him ~
..WeH, his health is SO poorly he
couldn't knock mule down, much less
a senator.''
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
UncomplImentary Compliment.

Miss Pretty don't see how YOU
whistle through your fingers that way.
L could never do it in the world
Mr. Goodheart wishing to complf-
ment her delicate little hands)-No
Miss Pretty; if you should try it your
whole hand would slip into your
mouth
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Impo1itic

1mpO1itic
Il see this shoe pincheS you trf-
fe," courteously ventured the sales
man to the lady who had crowded a
No foot into a No patent leather.
-tSir,'' she exclaimed tearing it off.
How dare you talk to in that i'm
pudent manneri''
1t was thus that the firm lost a GUS
toner and the salesman a job
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24

trunks Suddenly she turned and fed.
goaded by into1erahIe pain
And the pines were left alone In
their eternal serenity. chanting the
requiem over the fa7r white doves OF
A73hrodite-
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
only way to Ten.

..ih, Reginald. dearest she sighed,
eebut how can I be sure that you will
not grow weary of me after We have
been married a little whi1e?'
ssI don't know" he answered, un-
less we get married and see
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Serene superIoritr.

Mr. Ioftibrow takes himself very
seriously" remarked Miss Cayenne
I'm what way2''
He asked me if 1 thought 1 could
he happy with him. AS If his presence
could make the slightest difference one
way or anotheri"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
As If There was Any Doubt.

Wife (to husband9-There were two
hats that I liked-one for S13 and the
other for SIS.
Husband-Whicla Gid you finally de-
eide upon?
W1fe-Tne SIS one. I'm a little SUI
perstitious about the number 49,
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Much tho Same Thing.

It happened IN the county cIerk S or
fee
ct want lottery ticket he said.
Certainly replied the polite clerk
He knew thing OF two, did the clerk
A little thing like old joke could
not disturb him I've don't call 'enn
lottery tickets, but, of course, they
are much the same thing
Then he filed out the marriage Ii
cense and collected So.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Wise Boy.

sDickie, when you divided those five
carame1s with your little sister, did
you give her three2' %
mo, ma I thought they wouldn't
come out even, so I ate one fore I be-
gan to divide
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
ax~re,x Exc4usIve

severely E4c1usASes
Mrs. Muggins-Are your new neigh
bors sociabIez
Mrs Muggins0No, the stuckup
things. They haven't sent over to Dor
row anything since they moved in
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
WOW UnweIcome.

Sandy Pikes3You don't look very
pleasant, pard- Did you get a hand
CIT at de last house?
Bill Coa1gate-Yes, but de hand dat
cum was in de shape of a closed fist
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Against the Rules.


Mr. F1atte-What did the landlord
say when you told him we had baby :?
Mrs F1atte-He gFunted and said:
t'Wel1, don't let it happen againl''-
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24

ten dollars" She dropped her eyes
from the pine crests and saw Donician
before her
4 I'm some mail for you at the Of
fee Miss Helen He spoke with a
slight accent in a voice deep toned
and musical
Helen started and her nerves quiz
cred
s*Oh, thank you SO much she took
the mail and their hands touched The
young fellow colored slowly, but she
tried not to SEE
Thank you so much.'' she repeated,
with tense civility-
Not tall he returned. lifting his
hat and moving away He was every
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
a BenedIct's Excuse.

Bixby-I sent you telegram say
ing that wouldn't be home last night
Mrs Bixby-Then why didn't I get
it2
Bixby-I suppose it's because you
aren't used to this wireless telegraphy.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
DOVES OF APHRODITE.
BY. F. II. LANCASTER

ecopyrlght 1soa. b. Dany story Pub 60
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24

What am 1 so mad about?" repeat
ed the popular actress. with flashing
eye. II only got three bouquets, that's
what,''
But" said the manager, you sure
" didn't expect more
esOf course 1 did. 1 paid for five"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1902-04-24
Always After 1t.

Always After IT.
Richly says his wife is an auto
graph fiend"
THAT SOP
Yes She's particularly crazy about
gefang his on Ifberal-sized check
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

little fly out in right field and three
runs We're made after that. Phelan
was in the box for Waterville and
made Fairfield think of what might
have been. He was brought to this
country by Fairfield, last year, for
pitcher and tried in one game-that on
July Fourth in North Nassalboro. He
didn't star to any extent and Fairfield
| thought little more about him. But
| Waterviile saw the right stuff there
and gobbled him at the beginning OF
| the season and has chuckled over it
more than once since. He has been
playing a star game in the field and of
late has been pitching fine ball. In the
game at Belfast after they had their
bits in their teeth with a big lead he
took the reins and checked them right
IWhare they We're.
Fairfield couldn't touch him in this
game, although he logged along at an
easy pace and turned up fresh and
smiling at the end. IN the first seven
innings he allowed but one hit. That
was made by McHugh and was a fierce
drive to right field. Connors managed
to pick a good one in the ninth and
Land on it with full force, driving it
clean and true to center field for two
lsacks. Smith followed with one in the
same place, scoring Connors for the
one run made by Fairfield-a good,
clean. earned one. This was the total
of the stick work done by the nome
team. Maroney was up three times,
struck out twice and popped an easy
| fly to NaniX the third time.
Waterville did the bulk of the work in
the third and fourth innings and then
| took things easier for the remainder Of
| the game In the third, four singles and
an error by Smith netted three runs. In
there was but one single, but errors were
| made by Allen, Moroney and Smith, all
! costly ones. so that another triplet result
| cd Girard. the first time up, had been
showed around on a walk, a sacrifice, Il
single and an attempted out, so the total
| was seven. In the last six innings the
| visitors failed to score.
| The double by Nolan, ManiX and King
| in the fourth was very neatly done. This
game drops Fairfeld's standing in the
| league to .333 from 500. Waterville plays
Belfast at Belfast, today, and Fairfield is
wondering if the salt water boys can
down EN- again. The score:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31
FAIRFIELD.
FAIRFIELD DROPS ANOTHER.
Waterville Makes it Five Straight, De-
spite New Pitcher.

About the only thing the team could
think of or talk about, Wednesday
evening, was the five straight defeats
that have been served up to the team
Iby Waterville. The supporters of the
team would pay big money if the hoo
doc could be captured, dead or alive,
for it certainly seems like hoodoo,
Judging by the kind of game Fairfield
puts up about every time against her
old rival.
a new pitcher had been secured for
this game and great things We're ex-
pected of him, as he halls from the
Bean City, where they know baseball
among all other things. Great reports
had drifted down this way in the high
grass about his Drowess and Fairfield
finally came to believe that he was a
good man and had him come all the
way down But it was no use. He is
a pitcher of average ability and that
| is about all, or at least that's the way
it looked from the side lines in the
game. yesterday. Waterville got after
him in the same old way and thumped
and banged until there was no need
for further humping and banging. a
total Of 10 hits were secured.
McGovern, another of the new men.
was behind the bat and showed up all
right. 1t looks as if Fairfield had Sc
cured one good one at any rate. He
played a fine game at first in Tues
days game and an equally good one
in this one behind the bat. McBain
was on first sack and played a fine
game there, taking Is chances without
q sin.
! on the whole. however. the fielding
Of the team was pretty ragged There
were five out and out errors and lots
lof others that might be called errors
without stretching the conscience a
lgreat deal. Several of what had to be
lcalled hits should have been gathered
lin all right but the fielders failed to
connect through poor judgment.
In the fourth inning with two men
tout Captain Allen dropped an easy
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

Tennessee. Virginia and portions Of
Kentucky and Maryland. In the other
tobacco states the reports are generally
promising.
AS rule the general outlook for APP
pies continues unpromising, although in
some sections a good crop is promised.
The most favorable reports are re-
ceived from New England. eastern ana
northern New York, Michigan and por-
tions of Illinois, Kansas and Oklahoma.
The bulk OF a good hay crop has been
secured in the states of the central val
lays. In the Lake region and northern
portion OF the middle Atlantic states
haying continues, but has been consid-
erahly delayed by rains and much has
been damaged.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

man in the South should attempt 10
put them on the brown man in the
East.
Others, and I regret TO say II, lor
it makes a man blush to tell the truth
in this regard, are so under the dofli-
nation and control Of the great corpo-
rations for which they work, that they
dare not vote as they like, for fear
they will lose their places, and with
them the bread for their wives ana
children-and when you reach for the
bread Of his little ones, you reaeh fof
his manhood, and when you have taken
it you have taken his pride and his in
dependence"
He thought that many Republicans are
about to vote the Democratic ticket and
that the election of the nominees would
be a great thing for Waterville. He pro-
ceeded 10 give "a few crude rules by
which YOU can tell to which party you
belong" and hoped every Republican
would apply them and see II ne had not
been making a mistake.
II you believe in the constitution ana
Monroe doctrine; that We did right in
keeping faith with cuba; that Phihpplne
war in wrong; that trusts are curse >
that the tariff is unfair; impartial en-
forcemsnt of laws; then you are DEM
0crat.
If YOU cannot subscribe 70 any Of these
then you must grope little longer IN Ike
publican darkness. If you can to one,
then there is hope. After applying these
tests and still doubt, try this:
If YOU believe in repeal of Declaration
of Independence and abrOgation Of con-
stitution; if after keeping faith with Gu
ha we let her starve 10 death; If your con-
science does not revolt at unholy war Of
rapine and murder in Philippines; if you
believe with Hanna that there are no
trusts. only aggregations Of capital il
great philanthropists' hands for purpose
OF making cheaper prices and raising
wages; if you believe in placing planks
in your platform which you do not believe
and laws on the books, which You do not
mean or are afraid TO enforce; that il is
better to deceive than to keep faith with
the people; then go on, YOU are still Re
publican.
In closing he eXhorted his Republican
friends to try to see their errors and JON
hands with the only clean and honest
party-his own
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31
a LIVELY INCIDENT.
Horse Attempts to Ride on a Load OF
Rocks.

There were some pretty exciting mo-
rnents down on Front street at the foot
of Temple. yesterday forenoon. The stone
crusher has been down at the foundry
for repairs and was being taken back to
the gravel pit. the steam roller being used
for motive power. 1t was big load for
the powerful machine and difficult job
to make everything go smoothly. The
roller with its load had just turned onto
Front street when two teams, heavily
loaded with rocks, came along on their
way down to the bank Of the river by tn
wooden mill.
The first one was drawn by two horses
and driven by Joseph King while the sec
ond was drawn by one horse and driven
by Mr. Tree All three horses were some
what frightened at the roller as they went
down over the hill off Front street. Mr..
Tree following the double team closely.
When part way down, the double team
suddenly stopped and the second horse,
being unable to hold the load, was showed
up AGAINST the load in front and finally
reared and landed all tours plump on top
OF this 1t wasn't exactly a good place
for a horse to stand and the animal
shortly went over with a crash to the
street. Things moved rather lively for a
few seconds and everything was soon in
pretty bad tansle. The horse in falling
cut one of the small veins in the side Of
its head and bIed so profusely that il
looked as II ii had received fatal inju-
ries. But things were finally Strengthened
out ana it was then found that the dam
age had been small. The horse was not
ir1rad The harness was
somewhat damaged and one thill of the
wagon was broken.
But it was a fortunte ending to an ex-
citing affair and no mistake. After things
Quoted down the roller moved on with
its big load towards the gravel pit, arriv-
ing there in due season. 1t is expected
that the crusher can now be put in oper-
alton in q short time.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

ago, broke his arm and went TO DR.
Taylor for treatment. After an exam.
nation the physician told him that
there was no fracture of the bone: that
the member was simply strained. He
then bandaged the member and Allen
went away. The arm did not get Wen
and eventually Allen was forced to go
to a hospital for treatment and there
lit was found that the arm had been
broken and not set and it became nee
essary to again break the bone and set
lit properly. That is. in brief, the state
ment of the plaintiffs case. This case
will, it is expected, be tried at the De-
tober civil term of the supreme court.
Bangor News.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31
CROP CONDITIONS.
Corn About the Only Crop That Show:
Steady Improvement.

Washington, July 30.-The weather
bureaus weekly summary of crop con-
ditions is as follows:
The corn crop has experienced an
other week of exceptionally favorable
conditions over much the greater part
of the principal corn area.
Showers have prevented the compile
ton OF winter wheat harvest in the
Lake region, New England and the
northern portion of the middle Atlantic
states, where damage to wheat il
shock is quite extensively reported.
Late spring wheat on the whole il
very promising.
Dat harvesting is progressing under
difficulties in the upper Mississippi val
ley and Lake region but the genera
outlook for a large yield is favorable.
The northern portions of the eastern
and central districts of the cotton bell
continue to suffer from drought.
Tobacco is suffering from drought ir
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31
NEWS NUGGETS,
Brought by the Wires from North,
East, South and West.

Considerable anxiety is felt in diplo-
matte circles at Constantinonle over
the increasing unrest in Macedonia and
Albania as a result of renewed activ-
lity Of the revolutionary committees.
Landenburg- Thallman e Co. of New
York, have engaged 100000 gold at
the assay office and an engagement Of
like amount has been made by Heidel-
bach. Iekelheimer & Co., presumably
for shipment, Tuesday.
In a collision off Malacca, Straits
Settlement, near Singapore. between
the British schooners Prince Alexander
and -Hin-Guan, the former vessel
was sunk and 40 lives We're lost. The
Prince Alexander was built in Prussia
land the -Hin-Guan at Glasgow
The explosion Of a gasoline engine
at the mines of Jacob Shire, at Har-
risburg. Pa. an individual operator at
Short Mountain. wrecked the power
house of the colliery and destroyed the
breakers and storage house. The loss
will amount to thousands of dollards;
partially insured.
Patrick A. Collins, mayor Of Boston,
has been appointed at Paris. an officer
of the Legion of Honor. Paul Capde-
ivielle. mayor of New Orleans, Thomas
st. John Gaffney, an attorney of New
York, and Mr.. Duevoeh, merchant Of
New York. have been appointed cheya-
Tiers of the Legion.
The steamer Condor, which has ar
rived at New Orleans from Puerto
Corte. Honduras, brings the news that
the British government has withdrawn
all claim to sovereignty over the Bay
Islands of Utilia, Ruatan, Bonacca or
Guanaba Elena and Barbarat, and ac-
knowledge that they belong to the re-
public of Honduras.
Dividend disbursements thus far an.
| nounced by Industrial companies at
| New York for August arc the smallest
| for any previous months. this year.
amounting to only s17.264. GOO. It was
but reasonable, however. to expect
| says the Journal of Commerce. a marx
ed falling off from the large semi-an-
nual payments in July.
A deal has just been consumated az
| Santa Barbara, Cal. whereby pra
cally all of the producing interfiss
of Sammerland. located on the seasiiors
| about four miles south Of that lily
have been consolidated and the produce
will hereafter be handled by a syndi-
cate of Eastern capitalist who nave
subscribed 100000 for developmen.
| purposes. The consolidated properly
consists of 17,S75 acres of oil land WIN
a water frontage. The combined inter.
ests represent a capitalization u
$2,000,000.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

The bay pair of firehorses took a little
run all by themselves yesterday. No
alarm was rung in, but they evidently
thought they needed a bit of practice
and proceeded to take il without ask
ing permission of any one. The team
is very high-spirited anyway and has
not been getting much work of late. so
that when taken out of the stable for
hit OF exercise the ground wasn't
hardly good enough TO step on. one
OF the reins was caught and A. H.
Woods. the driver, stepped out on the
pole to free il. The horses are trained
10 run when the reins slacken and
We're faithful to instructions Mr..
Woods managed TO get clear without
injury. The horses We're just striking
the pace they use for a good nice blaze
on Main street and were back of the
Jepson grocery store on Elm street
when they collided with an electric
light pole, the pole of the cart striking
the other squarely. A new electric
light POLE was set there later in the
day but no repairs We're necessary in
the hose house. The horses We're easily
captured after the collision and the in
cident was closed.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31
Watertown Union and Brighton Live
Stock Market.

Reported for the Kennebec Journal fol-
the week ending July %, 1902
AMOUNT OF LIVE STOCK AT MAR
KET.
Cattle, 352S: horses. 500; sheep and
lambs, 1885: calves, Psi; swine, p, 4oS.
NUMBER FROM MAINE.
Cattle, III; sheep and lambs, 81; calves,
491; horses, s.; swine, SIS.
PRICES OF MARKET BEEF.
A few choice, s1OQ1o.50 extra, sSd9; first
quality, $7.q7.50;< second quality, $500
ESQ; third quality, SS.5OG4.50.
PRICES OF STORE CATTLE.
Farrow cows, $17q3O; fancy cows. $5ld6s;
mich cows and calves from $50 to SIS;
yearlinGs, So to SIS; two years old. SIS to
s32; three years old, SIS to s4S. Western
fat swine, live, "a TO rs cts. Northern
dressed hpgs, sass cents per ID. stores,
retail, 81 Is to S..
PRICES OF SHEEP AND LAMBS.
In lots. $3.50 to $3.50 each. Extra, 81 to
s6. or from 21a to cts. per ID. Lambs, AZ
to IA. Veal calves, to &c.
ARRIVALS BY EASTERN STEAMERS.
i've
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

The Modern Woodmen of this place
ind Fidelity Camp Royal, Neighbors
Of America, are planning on a picnic
10 be held at Fairfield Trotting park
this afternoon A bali game viii be
played between a picked nine from
the Woodmen and one from the Odd
Fellows. After the game a fine, old
fashioned supper will be eaten by al
who care TO pay small fee. The oc-
casion will no doubt be very enjoy
able one.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31

About so have signified their inten-
ton of going on the special train to
Belfast. today. if one is run, and about
- more are needed. If there are any
more who can go they should notify
DIR. Abbott or leave their names at
Hawker's before o'clock this morn
ing. as the team will have to leave at
10 O'Clock If the special is not run.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-07-31
FAIRFIELD.

Stolen bases-Bucknam. Nolan, Allen >,
Connors. Two-base hits-Connors, Smith.
Double plays-Nolan. Manix, King. Bases
on balls-By Phelan. Flood; by M0roney,
Girard. Manix. Struck out-By Phelan,
Moroney ,. Smith ?. Taylor; by Moroney
Manix, King Buchanan. Sacrifice hits
Phelan, Mcconnell. ManiX. Hit by pitch-
"a baIls-Nolan. McGovern. Passed balls
-Cowinc. McGovern. Time, LAS. Umpire,
Rice. Attendance, 800