The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-08-28
-Ssll1lN!ez



the friend. Locating the blame!
echoed the worried French official;
s.why, that isn't the object! We've
been trying to dislocate it!"-Washing-
ton Star.
Don't you think you're making
rather broad statement when you say
every pcssimist is necessarily mar
ried MANI But | didn't say that"
"Oh didn't you? l thought you did"
NO; | said every married man is nee
essarily pessimist. "-Philadelphia
Press.
II would like 10 know" said the gruff
Old father to the young man who had
been ealing with considerable freQuen-
cy. whether you are going to marry
my daughter?' 80 would l." answer
ed the ditiident young man. Would
you mind asking rT-Chicago Even
ing Post.
Miss Antique-No. I'm not going to
Mrs. Whitehair's reception. Miss Budd
Why not? "Oh, she always talks
about old times, and that makes me
tired; | don't see how you can stand
her" But, my dear, her subject is
new to most of us, you know."-New
York Weekly.
Something must be done with those
boys of mine at college" exclaimed
staid old citizen; they're wilder than
March hares and in hot water all the
time" 'Oh, well, they're young yet,
and you must make allowances.
Make allowances, man? That's what's
keeping me oor."-Detrot Free Press.
Administrative the warrant-Ofticers
put ON dress-suits, clean shirts, white
neckties, patent leather boots and kid
gloves, and are their opera hats on
straight% Sailor-"Aye, aye. yer
honor" Admiral-"Then let them open
fire upon the enemy; ] am going ashore
to a society reception. Town Topics.
Fuddy-"Iemarkabl cure, that of
Mrs. Blank" Duddy-"Haven't heard
about it. What was it," Fuddy-
"She has recovered her voice. You
know she hasn't been able to speak for
three years. They induced her TO join
in a game Of whist, and she was talk
ing before she knew it."-BOston
Transcript.
-Professor-'Tell me to
what class Of maladies insomnia be-
longs" Student-"Why-er. it's con-
tagious disease" Professor never
heard it so described. Where did you
learn this? Student-"From expert
ence, sir Whenever my neighbours dog
can't sleep I'm just as wakeful as he
is."-Tit- Bits.
A Proud Record: l see that one of
the newly appointed patrOlmen made
an arrest within twenty minutes after
he assumed his duties" said the OBJ
servant citizen to the experienced po-
liceman. That's nothing" smiled
the latter; IL went to sleep while my
commission was being handed to me-"
Baltimore American.
Mrs. Waldo (of Boston)-I have a
letter from your Uncle James, Pencil
ope, who wants us to spend the sum-
mer on his farm. Penelope (dubiOusly)
is there any society in the neighbour
hood? Mrs. Waldo-Ive heard him
speak of the Holsteins and Guernseys
presume they are pleasant people,
Boston Christian Register.
II suppose Inere is a great deal OF
jealousy among your generals? "A
great DEAL" answered the Filipino,
chief, gloomily; 1--WE have an army
scandal at hand. The man who claims
to hold the record for long-distance re-
treats is accused of violating the rules
Of such contests and using pace
r"-Washington Star.
Eminent Statesman-'Put these men,
oranda into 1.-THE form of an interview
and send it to all the papers. II 1t is
well received, l will interview myself
again, and say that ] am glad to see
the public agrees with me-" Private
Secretary-"But suppose it is not well
received?" Eminent statesman-"Then
| will say that haven't seen a reporter
for six months."-Boston Transcript
What" said the ordinary person,
SSOO Ior that itte pit VI Poiceiaih'
Why, it isn't as big as mans hand"
1T commands that price," said the deal
err, ION account of its history. Ii has a
story that covers four sheets of parch-
ment and every word the truth"
well" said the ordinary person. ''all
have to say is that there seems to be
more truth than pottery. "-lndianap
oils Press.
/ have watched several storekeepers
olocinr nm M NIGHT racanflv- and hova