Mexico Missouri message., 1902-12-04
HE SAW THE CIRCUS.
ILLINOIS EDITOR cRiTIcIsEs THE
ENTERTAINMENT
Lured by Flaming Posters, Journalist
Visits Big Tent and Tells Of What
He Saw--A Humorous Description.

(Thc editor of the Alton Democrat
went to q circus and tolls what he saw
there.
AS tlc cockroach said when he
craw!ed from the ham gravy-Tve
been soaked again Two weeks ago a
stubby gentleman with sandy whis'
kers and eyes that seemed to regret
their inability to crawl over his nose
and trade sockets, came around to
stick up some circus posters, with
beautiful ladies and other rare anil
mails on them, and being very fond OF
pictures | permitted him to hang a
mild one in the large window of this
palace of wisdom. He stuck some up
on a building next door that looked
like an aggravated case of scram Dled
delirium tremens and for two weeks |
banqueted my sky-blue optics on their
glories. There was one glorious pic
ture of large red flannel mouth with
a rim of chocolatetinted hippopota-
mus around it. 1t was standing in a
jungle calmly eating the left leg off
naked colored gentleman, while a
small circle of the victims most in.
innate friends danced around in the
weeds and poked at it with clothes
props TO make 1t don't. Next to watch
ing my stepfather perish in railroad
disas ~. nothing charms me more
than to see n robust hippopotamus
chow leg from a colored gentleman,
tbig nigtnra nlnpn IA tpin IN
convince me | ought to attend-and
there were others.
One of them represented a giraffe
with twenty-seven feet Of neck stick.
ing through the top of cage like a
maiden protrudng from a ball-gown.
and another showed middle-aged
tiger meandering up the weather.
boarding of "A drab elephant-like a
pcdiculus capitis on the neck of fat
man-with a soapbox of scared In.
dams in bathing suits on his back.
Lest there should be a misunderstood
ing, ! will explain that the soapbox
was on the back of the elephant-not
the tiger or pediculus capitis or fat
man. (Pediculus capitis means louse).
This picture pleased me very much,
as | just dote on tigers-they are 80
playful and kittenish. When I was in
Africa | used to go out in the jungle
and catch them by the leg and romp
with them. One of them got cross one
day, and as had no gun and couldn't
outrun it, | had to stand still and let
it eat me u,,. There was a lot of
other thrilling scenes, ard off in the
distance wound long and splendifer-
GUS parade. while ten bands played
soft music and people crowded into
the tent like a Kentucky convention
that had been asked to have some
thing.
In the afternoon went over to the
show. There wasn't any tiger crawl
ing up the side of any elephant, for
the reason that the only elephant they
had was a little sore-eyed monkey
with the hair worn off locality that
would have been his chest if his front
and hind legs had been transposed.
called the manager to one side and
asked him where his elephant and gi-
raffe were, and he said that a man
up at Doom took the elephant on a
board bill and another one seized the
giraffe in Payment for a gallon of coal
oil to light the tent with. He said
the man gave him a lampwick with
the coal oil and he threw in his rhi-
nosceros for good measure. The tiger
died of grief at having no elephant
| to climb.
| was beginning to believe the bills
lied and | looked around for the rest
of the geological wealth" | found
snake and little old kettle-stom.
ached COW that looked like a scrub
calf raised on buttermilk and potato
Feelings. There was also a mountain
goat which was very strong attrac
ton. Its smell alone is worth the
price of admission to any man fond
of limburger cheese. looked for the
"army of performers from nearly
every every land" but guess the
gunny sack leaked for all could find
of them and the beautiful damsels
was one old scarecrow with hardly
enough fat on her to grease a gun
lock.
Then my office devil came in ant
announced that stray dog had mad
vertently sauntered through the pres!
while it was in motion and / had t
go and help pick the bones and hal
out of an editorial. Later | learned
as the show was leaving town frienC
of mine, from Herkimer county, New
York, stepped on the remainder Of tn,
menagerie, consisting of pocket 60
pher, and killed it--so the show will
travel hereafter without a menagerie