The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1902-12-01
MADE THE BUTLER LAUGH.
How Cockncy Hcpt Contrived to
Make His Preternat uraIly Grave
servant hilarious.

"While / was in Melbourne" said :
Washingtonian who recently visited
Australia on business mission for
Philadelphia manufacturing con-
cern, according to the Washington
Post, II was present at a stag din
ner given by an Englishman who
had only stort time before struck
it rich in the gold fields. He was
middle aged and O. coclxney Of the
cockneys. He had been poking arodnd
the auriferous hills Of Australia with
pick for more than 20 years before
he struck the ledge that made him
millionaire many times over.
HE was bachelor, and when got
to Melbourne he had only recently
got his magnificent domicile in rum
ming order. He had about two dozen
servants, the top man, Of course, be-
ing Enthusiastically grave and
imperturbable English butler, fel-
low as stiff as q lamppost and with
about Gs much humor in his carcass
as d nincpin.
'The stag dinner was a pretty joT-
ly affair. II was attended by about
20 well-lSnown men-about-town of
Melbourne, and some performers
Ixfrom The Melbourne vaudeville the
Eaters were engaged to entertain the
guests.
'The English butler presided over
| the feast with the solemn marrer be-
fitting his kind. The f;,a ran around
| the table like a brceze after the wine
began TO operate. bat nary grin
crossed the features or the naughty
butler. He stood at the sideboard as
straight as a persimmon tree, with
his arms folded, and his countenance
| was like a mask of tragedy when the
host and all bf the guests were all
but rolling out Of their chairs with
1 laughter.
! II was sitting on the left Of the
! host, aud / observed that the pre-
ternaturai gravity Of the butler was
i'Retfins on the hosts nerves. When
ever the laughter was at its height
the coclney millionaire would glance
up from beneath his buuhy eyebrows
at the butler, only to perceive that
not SO much as muscle of that Dig
nifarys face was twitching
".Blimc me- heard the host nut
ter savageiy to himself two or three
times, WY don't that bloomink cove
larf. y'snaw?
"Eyen when the vaudeville people
began to execute their cut-up stunts
/ the butler never gave the slightest
| Indication that he saw anything fun
nv in the proceedings. Finally a mon
ologue chap. whose line OF talk real
| ly was screnmingly funny. got the
| floor. and II wasn't long before he
had every man at the table just A.
rocking and holding his sides. The
host kept his eyes glued upon the
buffers face to see + the profess
sional entertainer even was capable
OF drilling grin out OF his face
But IL was no 60. Tbe1butler stood
like rock. To all intents and pur-
poses he might just as well have had
paralysis of the facial nerves.
"The cociney host eouldn't stand
It any longer. He jumped out of his
chair- showing that he was just BIZ
unsteady on his legs. which was nat
ural enough. considering the way the
corks had been popping land rusn1
ing upon the butler and catching him
around the waist he threw the inn
perturbable servitor onto the floor.
threw open the buffers coat. dug the
fingers of both of his strong. pudgy
hands INTO The buffers ribs to tickle
him and bawled as he leaned oyer the
man:
"Larf. v bloody stoughton bottle.
Iarfl That's right, larf. Larf till Y
bust. Y blooming coyel
"The butler convulsed with uncon-
troIlable shrieks OF laughter under
the tremendous tickling which he
was undergoing. yelled to be let up
before he went off into isterics,
but his employer went right ON tick
fing his ribs with all his might until
the butler was exhausted. Then he
let him up.
"sHi knowed Hid make v larf, y
bIoomer, an now that we've larfed,
I'll give y rise in y'r wages said
| the host, gleefully, resuming his
chair The butler got up and the
feast went on"