davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
DEAF MANS sUBTERFUGE.
Series of Questions and Answers that
Did Not Work.

Did Not Work.
The late Thomas B. Reed used to tell a
story about a farmer who lived in Fall
mouth, Me. Next the highway in one of
his cultivated fields grew an enormous rock
maple tree. One winter day he decided to
cut down that tree. AS he was very deaf
and also desired to hide his misfortune,
he fell to considering what passersby would
say to him, finally making up a set Of
questions and answers for the emergency.
The traveller was to begin the conversation,
which was to run like this;
80 you're cutting down the old tree at
last?"
Yes"
what are you going to do with IT."
"Sell It for ~cordwood."
How much do you expect to get for it?"
"Six dollars"
Isn't that a pretty good .%priceH It's
more than l would give for it,"
well. maybe you won't but somebody
else will"
He had gotten we'll at the Job when along
came a stranger with a stylish sleigh and
a spirited horse. Pulling up opposite the
chopper. he sent a question across the
ditch and fence which resulted in the fol-
lowing interchange of words:
Good morning, my friend. Can you tell
me the way to North Yarmouth"
yes" Chop! chop!
well, that's good; what is It. please?"
Sell It for cordwood." Chop! chop!
I'm afraid he didn't catch my question"
Louder); "will you tell me the way to
North Yarmouth"
six dollars" Chop! chop!
Say, you impudent cur! II l had a
chance to hitch my horse, l would get out
OF this sleigh and thrash you within an
inch Of your lifel"
We'll, maybe you won't. but somebody
else will" Chop! chopl
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Unidentified Man Instantly Killed In
the Wabash Freight
Yards.

A man whose identity was not disclosed
was run down and instantly killed last
evening shortly before 8 o'clock at Eigh-
teenth avenue and Eleventh street by a
switch engine on the Wabash tracks.
The engine, which was pulling four
freight cars, was proceeding west when 1t
overlook the man, who was walking be-
tween the tracks. James Mathews, then
engineer, failed to notice the man until
the engine was right on him. The mans
head was severed from the body and the
trunk was horribly mangled, not a single
bone apparently being left unbroken. James
McSorley, yardmaster for the Wabash, was
In charge of the switching crew.
There was nothing on the body Of the
man, who was evidently a working man, to
identify It. The remains we're removed by
order OF Coroner Treynor to Cutters under
taking rooms, where an inquest will be
held Monday morning.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
BLUSH THAT ALMOST CAME.
An Exclamation Shocking to a Truly
Good Professor.

Good Professor.
Chicago is the real and only genuine
city of light and Paris is but a feeble imi-
tation, reports the New York Sun. We
speak OF intellectual illumination, of soul
light, not Of mere gas and electricity. The
University Of Chicago irradiates the world
Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Satur-
days; the university Is the
irradiator Wednesdays and Fridays. Re-
Gently Prof. ]. Scott Clark OF Northwestern
spoke grave words to the class in English
literature. His holiest sensibllities had
been wounded by some Of those fascinating
modern products, the "co-eds." Hear his
\ solemn remonstrance:
II want to warn the young women Of
this class especially, because I know they
are In the habit OF using the expression
more than the young men. When you say
Great h~eavens!' you are taking a sacred
name in vain. I hear girls using the word
every day, and would feel almost like
tblushing II 1 were not aware that they did
not mean 1t for anything bad"
Doubtless these young women will take
pity on the professor. Otherwise he might
be brought to the actual blushing point, a
state OF PROFESSIONAL pudency horrible to
| think OF. Yet Great heavens" is a mild
enough pnTdbe anu innocent OF bhCrlleBlOub
intention. 1t means no more than Great
Jupiter" Great Zeus," Great Indra." II
misuses no sacred name. 1t is preferable
to sulphur suggesting oaths such as Great
sheol." Thunder and guns "rartarus
and turpentine" or the strange half-Indian
colonial affirmation Hell and H~obbamockl'
The primitive heather objection to taking
the name Of a divinity in vain was that
by u~ttering the name you put him into
the power OF your enemies. The wizard
and the c~onjurer can call him then. But
Great heavens is only a general phrase,
Even its natural meaning has dropped out
and 1t is about equal to "Is that 30 ?" you
don't say so7" well. l never" Really"
or the antique DIAGONAL II vlow" or 81
snum."
Still, the "co-eds' will be good to the
almost erubescent professor. Private in
formation tells us that they are now using
the formula Jay Scott!" But Jay" or
Great Scott is much more forcible than
Great heavens" Originally Great Gott
CT God" says the dictionary OF profanity;
and Jay Scott" which the "co-eds" HUI
morously derive from their pudent pro-
lessor, Is still more ~profane. Away with
strong words on sweet lips. 20. cara
melsv' is a gentle feminine asseveration
which can be recommended.
1t is interesting TO know that in DR..
Harper's institution Great Triggs!" is
the fashionable expletive at present.
whereas that former fayorite, 20, Pants!"
is all but obsolete.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
WESTERN SOCIETY PRAISED.
IL IL HoSpitable, Sincere and Free
From snobbishness.

From snobbishness.
Society in the Middle West is almost
wholly without snobbishness, says Booth
Harrington in Harper's Magazine. Now
and then there becomes apparent a struggle
to enter II on the part OF someone outside
OF 1t; but, because access is so simple, the
fact that a struggle is necessary nearly al
Ways creates in itself a perpetual disqual-
ihcation. II is a society exceedingly friendly
to the newcomer; very ready to receive
him on his own merits: It has no feeling
Of Its own Insecurity to make Il smut him
because It does not know who he was be-
fore he came. And while the visitor will
be asked many questions about his ac-
quaintances in other cities, he will not be
asked IL he has met the Rockmores OF
Germantown" in order to discover II he
knows the right people, The questions
are put in a hopeful way. with the hos
pttable wish to find mutual friends OF whom
to talk, and to bring the visitor and native
into closer touch.
There is a natural drawing together and
interdependence, OF course, among the
people who form the nucleus Of this So
ciety; whose fathers and grandfathers have
been friends, watching the town grow from
a village in the '40s to a city Of Importance
in the Twentieth century, and although.
there is a small complscence among the
families that were here from the first,
1t amounts mainly to greater familiarity
with each other, as among relatives. Con-
ditions are all the happier for the absence
Of the pond turtle who condescends to the
newcomer because his relatives have been
a long time in the same pond. Here and
there there may be an individual who takes
to himself SOM credit that his family have
achieved distinction or continued in re-
spectability through several generations
but he does not push the claim, because he
lives among people who would laugh less
at the arrogant strut OF new wealth than
at a claim OF privilege for high BIRTH be-
cause 1.-THE people would feel) to be tainted
with the former means at least that you
are proud of something you yourself have
accomplished; to possess the latter means
that you are In the ludicrous attitude Of
being proud Of yourself because of some
thing tina somebody else dld.
THE members of this society live on
terms Of singular intimacy with one an
other, almost as in a village, meeting often,
and rarely passing each other on the street
without pausing for more than q greeting.
When the warm weather begins one has
only to stroll or drive about certain pleas
ant portions of the city during the early
evening to see nearly all his friends, who
will be lounging each on his lawn, or
comfortably taking the afr on the broad
porches, and the older inhabitant easily re-
member the day when he was acquainted
with every person Of respectable appear
ance in town. Such intimacy, OF course,
entails an amusingly large quantity Of
amazingly small gossip"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
A Gem.

Chicago Tribune: The chef was ignorant
of the presence of the cannibal king. who
eyed him critically, while a sunny smile
danced gayly over his dimpled features.
Suddenly the chef became aware OF his
presence and said, as he most artistically
salaamed:
81 would have you majesty know that
/ have Just created a formula for a soup
that shall win an instant immortality"
"And what may 1t be?" asked the mon
arch, impatiently. II never was an expert
in the art Of guessing and I would know
the name Of your new decoction."
And the chef, approaching the kings In
terest and his own importance, salaamed
again and replied:
Mock missionary"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Mob Demanda Goal.

ST. PAUL, Dec. 2O.-A crowd Of several
hundred people broke through the door
of the Northwestern Fuel company, Rob
ert street ofice today, after a remarkable
three hours rush for coal, savagely beat
ing a clerk who had acted as doorkeeper
and admitted only one customer at a time.
The company had received a few hundred
tons OF coal which were disposed OF In
single ton cash orders at 1915. After
breaking into the once police assistance
had to be called and order was restored
with dinieulty.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21

The remains Of John L. Howe, the ex-
press messenger who was killed Thursday
evening at the Union Pacific transfer depot
by the accidental discharge of a gun in the
hands of a fellow messenger. will be taken
this evening to his old home in Topsfeld,
Mass. Funeral services will be held at the
First Congregational church at 8 o'clock,
conducted by the pastor, Rev. James Thorn
son, following which the body will be taken
to the train. Members Of Excelsior Ma
sonic lodge. to which deceased belonged,
will act as pallbearers, and the sir knights
OF Ivanhoe commandory will furnish an es-
cort. Coroner Treynor decided yesterday
hat an inquest would be unnecessary as the
shooting was purely accidental.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
BURGLARS ROB DRUG STORE
Blow Open Safe in Des Moines and
secure Booty to Value
of $4,000.

DIES MONIES, Ia, Dec. 2O.-Burglars
dynamited the safe OF Carl Miller's drug
store in Valley Junction, a suburb of this
city, early this morning, securing $50 in
cash, three diamonds worth 5000 and papers
representing an aggregate value of SO, 900.
Residents on the upper floors of the
building in which the safe was cracked were
not awakened, the sound OF the explosion
having been mufled by carpets and the use
of putty in a manner indicating the crime
was that of experts. No clue.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
h a Question.

Brooklyn Life: 'But what will you DO
when all the vermiform appendices shall
have been removed"
The surgeon smiled.
81 was reading only today" he said.
that the stomach may be taken out"
Without killing the PATIENT"
How funny you are!" exclaimed the
great surgeon. and laughed outright"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
BIG INCOMES QUITE COMMON.
Professional Men Who Make from
$4,000 10 100000 "A Year.

The lawsuit of a Philadelphia physician
who seeks to recover a fabulous sum for
medical attention to the late Senator Ma
gee Of Pittsburg has attracted attention In
this city. says the Philadelphia Inquirer
and causes considerable speculation regard
ing the income Of professional men gener-
ally. An inquiry into the subject develops
surprising results and proves that Phila-
delphians are in the front rank OF money
earners. There are many professional men
in the Quaker city whose incomes amount
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
COUNCIL BLUFFS.

AT the FlrBL COnBTeBdllOuh ShuiSh ~
pastor, Rev. James Thomson, will take as
the subject Of his sermon at 1890 n. m,
Following the STAR" In the evening the
choir will render a sacred concert and
cantata in place OF the regular service.
The choir. under the direction Of Mr.. Ned
Mitchell, will render Ashford's Light Of
Life" and will be assisted by Miss Leona
Brownrigg OF Omaha, soprano. and others.
Preliminary to the cantata Miss Lille
Moreno will render two selections on the
organ.
Elder D. eR. Chambers will preach this
morning at the Latter Day Saints church
and in the evening the pulpit will be occu-
pied by Elder Charles e. Butterworth Of
Omaha. Sunday school will be at noon.
Rev. s. Alexander will preach this even
ing at 1880 o'clock in the church at Sew
enth street and Seventeenth avenue.
Second Church Of Christ (Scientist) will
hold services in Modern Wodmen of Amer
lea hall, in Merriam block, at 10:45 a. m.
Subject: as the Universe, Including Man.
Evolved by Atomic Force?" Sunday school
Immediately after the service. Wednesday
evening meeting at 7:45.
The First Church Of Christ ~(Scientist)
will hold services at IL a. m. in the Sapp
building. Sunday school will Immediately
follow the services. The regular testimo-
NAL meeting will be Wednesday evening at
s O'Clock.
Rev. Harvey Hostetler, pastor Of the Sec
ond Presbyterian church, will preach at
the Edgewood church this afternoon at 3
o'clock.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Gravel roofing. A, H. REID. lss Main 81
Photos ENLARGED for Csc,

Bring this ad to sO4 Broadway. before
January l, and I will make an enlarged por-
trait from good small picture for 9Sc
Faded or scratched photos cost more. oaA
frames, $3.50 up. Carveth, Artist.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Sell OH Lands I'm Indiana.

INDIANAPOLIS. Dec. &-The Crown on
company OF this city sold 500 of its 5000
acres of oil leases In Grant county today
10 the National oil company OF ST. Louis.
On the 500 acres are twenty-one productive
wells. which have been running over $50
barrels a day. The consideration was
N25.0Q0 In cash.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Chicken Thieves Make food Haul.

Chicken thieves did a wholesale business
Friday night at the residence of Fred
Geise on East Washington avenue. They
not only depopulated the henroost, but
succeeded in carrying away about three
dozen ducks and twenty-five full grown
geese. Tracks in the snow indicated that
they carried away their plumber in a wagon
and II is supposed they drove over to
Omaha and disposed OF the fowls in the
market there.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
A Free Heating siove.

Before you buy your coal see VIM. welch
at IS North Main street and he viii ex-
plain to you how you can get a fine Round
Oak heating stove without costing you a
penny. Phone, 1GS.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
WON AT A MILLION TO ONE.
A Strange Happening when His
Owner Was Backing Him for So.

They had been speaking Of rather mar
velous things in a betting way. big win
nings and big losses at the various race
courses OF the country-how they had won
and lost fortunes and all that sort OF thing.
That reminds me OF John Kings story
OF the bet he made In ireland" said a
member Of the group, quoted by the New
Orleans Times, land for the benefit OF
those who are not acquainted with King ]
want TO say that he is no myth. John
King is a real. live, pulsing man, and his
home is in west Tennessee. He IL q native
OF Jackson. but Jackson was too slow for
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21

woman's Seven-Gored Skirt 4307-With
inverted plaits stitched to form "slot
seams" and strap trimming. Slot seams and
strap trimmings make two notable and
important features OF the seasons fash
ions and are to be found In the smartest
models. This very stylish skirt combines
them most effectively and is eminently
graceful at the same time that It is in the
height OF style. The original Is made of
black canvas, with straps OF peau de sole
stitched with silk, but all the seasons
materials are appropriate. silk, velvet or
contrasting cloth for the straps.
The skirt is shaped with seven cores with
plaits at the edges which meet and ara
stitched to form a slot seams to iounce
depth. from which point they fall free and
provide ample flare. The back hts snugly,
without fulness at the top, in habit style,
haring at the lower edge. The straps are
stitched to position over the seam in back
and at the center Of the other cores, but
can be omitted when a plain effect is pre-
ferred.
Tn quantity OF material required for the
medium size is 10 yards p inches wide, 9E
yards q inches wide, ca yards A inches
wide or SIS yards So inches wide, when
material has figure or nap; 81 yards A
inches wide, AZ yards 50 inches wide when
material has neither figure nor nap, with
TX yards OF silk for straps.
The pattern 4307 is cut In sizes for a 20.
"a, 26, rs and sO-inch waist measure.
For the accommodation OF The Bee read.
ers, these patterns, which usually retail at
from rs to 80 cents. will be furnished at a
nominal price, 10 cents, which covers all
expense, In order to get a pattern enclose
10 cents. give number and name Of pattern
wanted and bust measure.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Back to old Home for Burial.

Ping pong and all kind Of games at Nor
gan & Dickey's, 142 Broadway.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
the Churches.

At ST. Paul's Episcopal church today
there will be holy communion at s a. m.
n morning prayer and ntany At lO:So
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Marriage

Licenses to wed have been issued to the
following:
Name and Residence. Age.
Charles Keast, Macedonia, Ia............. %
Emma May Summers, Macedonia, Ia. Fl
]. A. Carse, Carson, ................... 2S
Grace L. Snapp. Carson, a...........,.... 20
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
All Photos Taken.

At Schmidt's before December % will be
finished before Christmas, sure.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21

Hand mirrors, incest in town, at Morgan
& Dickey's, 142 Broadway.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21

All the new books at Bushnell's.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21

N. 7 Plumbing CO., telephone 25S.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
Buy your ping pong at Busnnerl's.

Beautiful calendars at Bushneli's.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
RUN DOWN BY SWITCH ENGINE

Plumbing and heating. Bixby 6 Son.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21
DairyIns "A New Industry.

An industry that is proving a great sue
cess is that OF dairying. Cream sepaTators
are scattered over this entire section and
hundreds Of farmers over the county have
individual separators Of their own. Five
companies are now competing for this busl-
ness here and they distribute $40, 900 each
month among the farmers OF the county in
payment for butter fat. Many farmers are
drawing from SIS to $50 per month from
this industry and this with no additional
outlay except that of caring for the cream.
In d~airying Custer county stands near the
head Of the list OF the counties Of the
state.
It Is to bring before the world the vast
resources OF central Nebraska that this
Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-21

Fine line of box stationery at Morgan
4 Dickey's, 142 Broadway.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-05-15

time was not so long ago, either,-was
the Mecca of the sport loving pub
lie of the city. Akron was In league
that played base ball with a great deal
of vim, the street railway had just
been completed to Blue Pond, the
games were watched by good crowds,
and the place prospered.
Sunday band concerts, We're played
there all through the summer, and
great crowds visited the place on Sun
days, while many iished there through
the week. Now the diamond is grown
over with weeds, the fences have fall
en- down. and the place presents desc
late appearance. An attempt to play
ball there n few weeks by two local
teams was spoiled by the rough condi-
tion of the grounds. No attempt is
being made to fix up this place for this
season.
FLASHES FROM LEXINGTON.
Lexington, Ky, May 15.-Lemuel
Hitchcock, of Boston, Mass, has
bought of W. W. Evans. of LeXing-
ton, the two-year-old trotting filly by
Electric Bell, dam Bennie Fleetwood,
by Simmons. Price $500.
Joe Rea worked a twoyear-old colt
by Electric Bell, dam Dixie Phallas,
n mile over the trotting track here
today, in 2:35, the best time yet made
here by II two-ycar-old.
w. q. Simpson, of this city, has
bought of George Hays for an east
ern party the two-year.old filly by
King Red 2;2Oll, dam Daisy simmons,
by simmons; price $1,000. After little
work she trottcd full mile in 2:35;
last quarter at II 2:16 gait She Is a
Futurity candidate.
NEW UNIFORMS.
~ ituNulP VI llle uuSt, p"ii f"i"'N
Saturday and the games which will
he played at Buchtel field will be the
uniforms of the South End team,
in which they will appear for the first
time. 1t was predicted u few weeks
agot by number of local fans that
the South End team probably would
not amount to n great deal this sea-
son, but since it has become known
that the team is composed largely of
old Sharon players, there have been
some changes in opinion. and there
are many who maintain, already, that
this team will end the season In first
place.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-05-15

band has been engaged for the day and
there will be parade of the students
on the down town streets at noon,
Field and track athletics in large
have been arranged and the
contests will be held as first advertised,
although it is stated that the school
will probably not take part in the in
tcr-scholastlc games which the schools
of the Northern part of the state are
arranging
WARREN LOSES \ PLAYER.
Warren, o., May l5.-Claud Hcffel-
finger of Crestline, who came 10 War
rem to play ball, left to take position
ON the Washington q. II. team.
AGNES WILL FINISH SECOND.
Tho Acmes and the Columbias will
bowl Friday night, on the Grand al
lcys. The series In which these teams
have been taking part draws rapidly
to close, and this will be the last
game for the Acmcs, who will prob
ably finish in second place,
CANTON SCHOOL GAMES.
Canton, May 15.-Pans are complet-
cd for holding contest among the
high schools of Stark county The
event will be known ms the intcr-schol.
astic championship games. They will
be held at the fair grounds on May III,
The High schools of Canton, Alliance,
Massillon and Navarro will compete for
h0nors. All the athletic fcuts of the pro.
fcsslonal track teams are on the list
and the county high school records will
be established.
The Canton schools will he dismissed
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-05-15
ADAM AND EVE.
A New Version Of the Story Of
the Creation.

New York, May 15.-Rev. Adolph
Roeder, pastor of the New church,
(Swedenborglam of Orange. n. j., has
taken severely practical stand on the
Adam and Eve question. He said;
"Adam is simply the Hebrew word for
man, and the word 'Clevyan,' or Eve,
is the Hebrew word or symbol for life
The story of Adam and Eve is the
story of intellectual manhood, and the
creation of the life forces which God
has implanted and by which He con.
trolls the destiny of the race"
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-05-15

The tield day meet of the High school
Mt Fountain park, May - will he
the gala event of the year in High
school athletics. The Eighth Regiment
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1902-05-15

on the afternoon Of the day in order to
give the scholars and instructors an
opportunity to attend the games.
HARTFORD'S MAYOR AGAIN.
Hartford, Conn, May 15.-Mayor
Sullivan believes in boxing, that is in
amateur boxing behind closed doors.
He has issued license TO the Belmon-
lea club to hold sparring exhibitions
in connection with its social entertain
ments. The bouts must bo between am
ateurs and only local men viii be al.
lowed to compete in the fights. The
bouts are to be held in Saengerbund
hall
When w. l.. Crowley, acting for the
Nutmeg Athletic club, asked for per,
NIT TO hold the feather weight cham
pionship bout between Terry McGoyern
and Young Corbett, the application was
refused. The Mayor said he had asked
u number of worklngmen about boxing
shows and very few of them favored
the fights. He says he was sleeping ut
his home Thanksgiving day when Me
Govern and Corbett were lighting.
Cleveland, Ohio, May 11.First Base
man Schrcck, oi the local American
league club was released, Catcher
Wood will play first base temporarily
TURNER AND HERRERA,
san Francisco, Cal, My 15,-rhe Re.
lance club, of Oakland, has succeeded
in matching Rufe Turner, the Stockton
colored lightweight, and Herrera, of
Bakersfield, for fight. The men have
agreed to meet at 12S at q o'clock,
which is the weight demanded by Her
rcra.