The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-07-19

certed when I coyly admitted that I
was Mrs. 4. She had a small slip
of paper in her hand and as she scru-
tinized II, explained: 4 found your
name on my list and as am one of the
visiting committee for the month"; I
| thought l might as well come this
morning and get 1t over WITH"
II can assure you," added the hostess
OF that particular visitor, "that I put
| forth no violent efforts to prevent her
from getting 1t over WITH"
Why do we do 1t, and how shall we
change matters? I don't know. am
| not bit of use in the way of suggest
ing remedies. There are some people
who could prescribe remedies for ev-
erything under the sun. from fifty
cats to strikes. l never could. can
find fault.
AS for church visiting, myself hate
to call on new people Indeed, 1t is
rather trouble to call on the old ones,
whom l like and who are good to me,
and ask me to come again next year.
l am morally certain that should dis
play no more tact that the lady of the
eyeglas sses II in some moment of aber-
ration I should be induced to call on
new people" in the church; but some
body ought to do something, for they
do say that we have the greatest cold
storage system in the way Of churches
In Scranton than can be found east of
Chicago.
There are two kinds of men that
a girl should not marry; the kind
That knows how to cook and the
kind that Is satisfied. She will scarce
ly be able to make the first happy and
she will certainly not be made happy
by the second.
III there is anybody more eXasper
ating than the man who had super
Tor COOK for mother. 1t Is the one who
himself knows. or thinks lie knows
the distinction is immateral--how to
COOK Oh. but he Is a tiresome crea-
ture! You can bluff the man with a
cooking mother You can inform him
most politely that no doubt his mater
nal ancestor was possessed of genius
in her particular line of culinary ac-
complishment and that you can testify
to the fact that she made the most de-
licious mullins that mortal man ever
put. into his greedy mouth, and then
you can add sweetly, but what pity
1t was that she devoted so much time
to cooking that she never had the op-
portunity to teach her boys to be
prompt at meals and to shut the screen
door after them. If that doesn't quiet
him about "the pies that mother
baked" prolonged lecture on modern
day knowledge of food values-pro-
teins. albumens, etc, will be rather sure
to fetch him, and he will hesitate be-
fore again inviting any such illustra-
tions of the text.
But there hasn't been anything dis
covered that will protect a woman from
a husband who knows how to cook. He
is simply impossible. There was never
steak broiled as he can broil it, If he
were only allowed to set his foot inside
the kitchen, but as his wife has a fool
ish preference for the lady of that do
main over an erratic gentleman who !
would probably tire of permanent |
position as steak-broiler, he is never
given scope for his genius.
There were never biscuits such as he |
made on memorable camping eXpedi- |
tion, and he never can see why his wife |
learn how to do them properly. |
Then there is something wrong with |
the coffee. If he made the coffee it |
would always be precisely the same
not clear today and muddy tomorrow
or trifle weak the next day. There
is no reason in the world why coffee
should vary in any respect from one
to the next, and the cook
should be spoken to about it, If his
wife doesn't care to do it, he wouldn't
mind saying a few mild reproaches to
the person out in the kitchen. The
trouble is with women that they are
afraid to speak to the cook about
.hings, or else they don't know how to
10 it themselves and therefore can't
ell the cook what is wrong. He would
De perfectly willing to tell her what is
he matter with the flannel cakes. and
oy this time the worm turns and the
wife announces with ominous express
veness Of tone:
Henry Augustus, please understand
hat you are to keep distinctly out of
he kitchen. Mary Ellen will give
and then where shall we be?