The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-04-25
FROM THE DIARY OF A BABY

Chicago News.
 Sunday--Well, I'm here, and with some ideas too, Principal one is about the nurse-trained they call her. First thing she did was to wrap me up in q woolly white contrivance that stuck like fury. Gee. but it's hot.
 She seems to think she owns me-the nurse. I mean. About forty people have been in here to look at me and she shows me off with all the calnness of posses sion. She has possession all right. can only grit my gums and own it.. She has me body and soul. What makes these human creatures poke their faces right
 down into mine, anyway? They don't hes itate to comment on me, too, to my race. Red, am I? And wrinkled? And no nose? And all mouth? We'll if I am to grow up to bear any resemblance to some of the people I've seen at close range to- day I hope that nurse will succeed in cooking me.
 Monday--Last night I tried something I hadn't caught on to before-yelling. Say. that was fun.
 got introduced to a nice-looking wo- man today-my mother. She seems to have considerable sense, only she insisted on kissing me and talking some kind of | lingo that I couldn't understand to save | me; so I'm sure 1 looked like a fool:
 ,itsie" and .-wootsis and "teensie" and and pame of my guardian angel do they mean?
 Tuesday There's just one fellow around | these diggings I've got any use for. He s | tall. slim chap who came in on tiptoe | this morning while that trained nurse was out of the room fixing up some oth- CT variety of horrible dope to pour down from this new fangled flour sack contri- vance I'd try punch or two at her In pure self defense. But I'm helpless. This
 chap I'm telling about turns out to be
 my father. felt 1t, and 1 shuddered when I saw him come up to me: hate | all this kissing business. and "ickums'' talk. But. bless you, he just stood there Il above the ridiculous lace-draped thing they showed me into and looked down at me with his hands in his pockets and a sort of respectful look on his face that was highly comforting He didn't SC much as touch me and hated to see him
 sneak when that nurse came back.
 wednesday-That slim chap came ir
 today and studied me for while. seen | a bigger mystery to him than he IS t'
 me. The nurse was out ana all or suu
 den he bent down and picked me up ant | carried me over to the window. Ina tickled me to death. for I've been watch
 ing the narrow streak of shiny stun tha
 comes in there and I wanted to see wha it was made of. He put up the window curtain and began to look at me gooc and comfortable. and I stared into th' big yellow thing that hung in the sky out
 side and lifted up my head to get a goot square look. Just then, while we wer' enjoying ourselves, in comes the nurs'
 with a yell. It seems my eyesight wa , being everlastingly imperied and m, back was probably strained for life Say l I made her wild with my yelling before stopped. The slim chap sneaked agail and left me in the lurch. Thursday-Heaven save me from my re ; latives, My Aunt Mandie, as they cal
 her. picked me up this morning and sail
 ed in to give me my bath. What l suf l. fered no mortal can ever know. She trie' the temperature of the water-on me
 Seemingly it was this way: If 1t turnet
 me scarlet 1t was too hot; if it turne
 me blue it was a little chilly. She neve . struck a medium. For once I was gla to see nurse when she came up iron breakfast. Aunt Mandie shed tears owe T what nurse said to her and I yelle l bloody murder.
 Friday-Tve met both my grandmas to r day and I've heard so much on raisin kids that I'm dopy. If you lay 'em O
 their right sides or stomachs their lung
 are in danger If you lay 'em on their lei sides or backs their hearts go wrong They got excited and before they lei
 they wouldn't speak to anybody but me. Saturday--My first week on earth. Su . l cooked and still yelling. Tired of life