The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-06

When Representative Tompkins, of
Ohio, was "A young lawyer in that state
and was winning his spurs, he oc-
casionally found it profitable to ac-
cept case in Justices court in the
country. He tells the following story
of the argument made by rural bar
rister before such a magistrate. The
case was one in which the plaintiff
sought to recover damages from a rail-
road company for the killing of a
COW. During the course of his argu-
ment the country lawyer used this ex-
pressive sentence: "If the train had
been run as it should have been ran,
or if the bell had been rung as it
should have been rang, or if the whis-
tie had been blown as It should have
been blew, both of which they did
neither, the cow would not have been
injured when she was killed.
eff there is nothing doing" said
Senator Warren, of Wyoming, during
lull in the debate, Il have a little
matter that l would like to bring to
the attention of the Senate"
And as the phrase nothing doing
is embalmed in the Congressional Rec
ord, says the Washington Post. 1t
isn't slang any longer.
While the Senate was taking one of
its numerous recesses and while Pres
ident Frye was still in the chair, Sen
ator Elkins strayed into the chamber
carrying a bundle of papers.
Mr.. President" he said, "out of or
der l desire to present some petitions"
You are very much out of order"
replied Mr.. Frye, laughing. THE Sem
ate is not in session"
So Senator Elkins sat down.
There is a certain statesman at the
Capitol who has a mustache on the
side of his face and fringe of hair
al the base of his very bald head says
the Washington Post. Not long ago,
when he was sick, it became necessary
for his nurse to administer some med
icine to him. The room was dark and
the senator seemed to be asleep. The
nurse felt his face, apparently reached
his mustache, and then poured the med
icine-down his back.
The senator was asleep, face down
ward, and the nurse mistook the fringe
of hair around the base of his bald
head for the mustache over his mouth.
If you don't believe that this is a
true story, ask the senator
Representative Clayton, of Alabama,
told a good story concerning a case
which happened down in his State.
An old colored women, whose first
name was Mary, was a witness on the
stand in a murder case. 1t was al
legged that she had had an important
conversation with the accused, and the
prosecuting attorney insisted that she
should be compelled to testify. The de-
fcndant's counsel fought vigorously to
keep the conversation from the jury,
and after arguing the question for a
whole day, it was submitted to the
judge. After spending a greater part
of the night studying up presidents
the judge came into court next morn
ing and decided that the question must
be answered.
NOW. Mary" said the prosecuting
attorney, with an air of triumph, you
must tell the court and the jury what
this man said to you and what you
said to him"
Deed boss" said Mary, Eve didn't
say nothing at all"
Senator Frye is still up in Maine
tisning. The sport must be good for
Mr. Frye has been absent some time
Mr.. Frye delights to take guests
with him up 70 his camp on the Range
ley lakes. Once upon a time he had
Senator Chandler with him. One af-
ternoon when the cook wanted to go
to town, ATr. Chandler offered to pre-
pare the dinner. He wrote out an
elaborate menu, commencing with
chicken soup. Having faint idea that
rice was used in making chicken soup,
but having no idea at all of the amount
that was necessary. Mr.. Chandler emp
tied the entire tin can of rice into the
soup. In a little while he was forced
to bale out the soup kettle and fill two
stew pans with boiled rice. Presently
the kettle was Spilline over again and
several plates Were filled. To make a
long story short. Senator Chandler
was busy all afternoon baling rice out
of his soup.
When the fishermen, came back to
dinner Chandler had revised his menu
1t began with rice, ended with rice,
and had rice without intermission.
Chandler" said Frye. sis this q
joker
NO." said Chandler. Its rice"