The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-04-06
Mangied in .
Mergenthaler

5
assessed the full amount on the comedian.
Inc census returns often contain a de-
licious commiDgling of facts and figures.
For instance, Kentucky is shown to have
54l, $40 geese. The impression that several
OF them had taken up farms in Missouri
is evidently erroneous
The Beers are industriousiy opening the
spring by planting the British.
After all the American half dollar and
the American half dollars worth of ten
derloin become nearer of "a size every
day.
Dear Mr. Mergenthaler: Which is high
in a poker game, three deuces or q pair
or reVolvers e. H. K
IL depends on what's in the pot, what's
IN the revolvers, and the qufckness OF
the constabulary.
Frank Eddy Hesitates about withdraw
ing from congress because he is afraid
the body will then ha z no homeless
man.
For butter or worse, Chicago will con-
unue to cast its vote for oleomargarine
With st. Louis aldermen grabbing for
everything in sight, isn't there danger
that they will later on steal the worlds
fair buildings?
Prof. A. c. Abbott, of Philadelphia, yes
terday talked to the American Philosoph-
zeal society on The Influence of Acute
Alcoholic lntoxication Upon Certain Fac
tors Involved in the Phenomena Of
Haematolysis and Bacteriolysis, what
ever that may be. Anyhow, man who
goes on holiday drunk If he gets the
worst of it, is entitled to it.
The Pail Mall Gazette says: The great
American nation cannot fail to be deeply
touched by this splendid bid for its
friendship made by the dead" Oh,
pshaW Cecil Rhodes wasn't dead when
he made the bid.
At that Mr.. Hmschey, of Minneapolis,
wouldn't be any better at shooting the
rapids of Niagara than Dr. Mary Walker
The particular thing which a thief en-
thusiastic in his work will not steal has
not yet been discovered. A gang of rob
bers at Nome has stolen a bridge across
creek.
Isn't it about time for somebody to
locate me again?-Prof. Andree in Angel
Land.
William Henry Carson, author of Hes
ter Blair" is nothing if not frank He
says: Il always had a hankering to
write; now i nave hankering for the
money"
Some of those Oklahoma boys, though,
will be likely to have to take lessons in
dress and English before they go over to
Oxford.
The sultan of Turkey feels rested again.
VIII somebody please present him a bill
for d quay or something?
There isn't much in a name after ALL
Chicago bookman is selling dime novels
for cents.
A Chicago woman earned $1,000 by MAX
Ing good pie. The maker of those we
get at the railway station ought to get
thirty days in the workhouse if discov-
cred.
Tt has remained for wise musical critic
with Owl-like men to remark that the
hands of great pianists require muscular
development What, pray, do the hands
Of the miner and the ditch digger need?
AS usual about this time every year the
iconoclasts Of history are telling their
more benighted neighbors who wrote
George Washington's farewell address.
Since it was fully Endorsed and published
by the father of his country perhaps it
would be just as well to credit him with
it's authorship.
Didn't that woman who is irving to get
elected to congress as a Prohibitionist
know she was in a Kentucky district?
It is announced that Mayor Low, OF
New York, will live near Rye on the
Sound this summer. Some people in the
same neighborhood are content to live
near rye on the square.
A New York scientist takes I'm two
columns of space to indicate that idiots
and drunkards are less liable to electric
shock than ordinary people. To which
class does he belong?
Mrs. John A. Logan asserts that Amer
lean women wear too many Jewels And
yet, how few of them wear as many as
they want
Perhaps one scents worth is about what
patrons of that New York one-cent res
taurant VII get.
A Democrat named Herring has been
nominated for congress in the Thirteenth
Indiana district. Herring is no fish
David B. Hill has a hardship He has
no farm, no barn, and must live in a
plain mansion at Wolferts roost
The new governor Of the state of Wash
ington is only twenty-eight And he
doesn't act any older.
Milwaukee doesn't believe a Rose by
any other name would smell as sweet
1t has been suggested that President
Schalkpurger could get peace quicker if
he would chop off piece of his name
President CassaJt, of the .-ennsvIvania.
railroad, is out trying to break all the
existing fast train records. Mr.. Cassatt
may have something to regret if his neck
isn't made of rubber.
Then, too, Mr.. Roosevelt. you could
prosecute Gen. Miles into the presidential
chair.
Even the Prohipitionists alon.: the
Northern Pacific in North Dakota adj
mitted that for once they got too much
water.
Gov. Van SAINT has named an arbor
and bird day, but only the Power which
directs the weather man can make it a.
bird day.
The Rev q. Campbell Morgan is the
last, but not the only man who has found
st. Paul puzzle.