The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1902-03-25

He hurried 10 his office and read his
big precious message.
How lis words burned into his SoHi
Every line seemed alive with her Spit.
How beautiful the sight Of her handWrlt-
ing, He kissed it again and again. IL
read with bated breath. The address was
doubIv expressive, because IL c~ontalneu
The first word OF abandoned tenderness
with which she had ever written 10 hIHi'
except in the concealed message dotted
in the note that broke their Garner
correspondence.
Nv Precious Darling: l have gone
through deep waters within the last
three weeks. l became so depressed and
hungry TO see you, l felt some awful ca
lamity was hanging over you and over
me and that il was my fault. couid
scarcely eat or sleep.
felt should go mad if I did not
speak and so l told mama. She sympa-
thized tenderly with me but insisted
should not write. She is SO feeble could
not cross her. But, oh, the agony OF i!
Sometimes saw you drowning and
stretching out your hands TO me for
help.
Sometimes in my dreams l saw you
fighting against overwhelming odds with
strong brutal men, whose faces were fun
of hate. and | could not reach you.
| was nervous and unstrung. but you
can never know how real the horror OF
it all was upon me.
made up my mind one night to tele-
graph you. l heard someone talking IN
side mama's room. | gently pushed open
the door between our rooms, and she
was praying aloud for me- | stood spell
bound. | never knew how she loved me
before, When at last she prayed that
in the end | might have the desire OF my
heart, and my life be crowned with the
power and the JOY Of a noble mans love,
and that it might be yours, and that she
should be permitted to see and rejoice
with me, ] could endure it no longer.
| Choking with sobs | ran to her kneel-
ing figure, threw my arms around her
neck and covered her dear face with
kisses.
| could not send the message | had
| written after hat scene.
The next day papa came and she told
him in my presence, Now, general, /
| have carried out your wishes with Sallie
| against my judgment. The strain has
been more than you can understand. L
give up the task. You can manage her
now to suit yourself"
There was a frmness in her voice |
had never heard before. He noted it,
and was startled into silence by it. He
had a long talk with me and repeated
| his orders with increasing emphasis.
The next day / was unusually depress-
ed. I did not get out of bed all day. At
night / went down to supper. The clerk
at the desk of the hotel called me and
said, Miss Worth. | have a terrible sin
to confess to you. | am a lover myself,
- r- n4yrrn
to a young man yesterday a letter to you
by request of the general. Forgive me
for it. and don't tell him | told you"
That night papa and l had a terrible
scene. l will not attempt to describe it.
But the end was, l said to him with all
the courage of despair: Il am wenty-one
years old. | am a free woman. / will
write to whom | please and when l
please and III not ask you again. 1t
is your right to turn me out of your
house, but you shall not murder my
souI,'
Then for the first time in his life papa
broke down and sobbed like a child. We
kissed and made up, and l am to write
to YOU when l like.
Forgive my long silence. Write and
tell me you love me. My heart is sick
with the thought that l nave been cow
ardly and failed you. Write me a long
letter, and you cannot say things ex-
travagant enough for my hungry heart.
l feel utterly helpless when | think
how completely you have come to rule
my life. | wish you to rule it. It is all
yours
And then she said many little foolish
things that only the eyes of the one
lover should ever see. for only to him
| could they have meaning
When he finished reading this letter,
and had devoured with eagerness these
foolish extravagances with which she
closed it he buried his face in his arms
across his desk and cried.
A big, strong, boastful man, whose will
had defied the world. Now he was cry
ing alone in his room like a whipped
child.
At last he knelt by his chair and tried
to pray again.
God be merciful to me a sinner, |
am not worthy to live, to have doubted
her! | have degraded body and soul and
sullied the sweetest dreams of life with
shame! Forgive, cleanse and lift me
again in the arms of thy Father-lovei
And | will strive for a nObler life!"