The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-04-13
Fun OF The WoRLp.

In a Philadelphia court. sitting on the
steps Of a house. were two negresses
who discussed an approaching event as
follows.
Dat Ratchet woman is goin' ter be in
London next summah'
who you talkin' BOUT
Dat Carrie Nation. Alr. Johnson. ths
waiter gentlemen says 50. he SAYS kins
is soin Ter be Carrie Nationed on June
tbs tNeRty-si1th-
"Lan sslzes, but that woman has san.
70 tack a king. Aius She
The Manila Critic SAYS that when Gen
sral Weyler vas SEM as Soveruor general
ID Manila Don Carlos Palanaea. the
wealthy Spaniardized ChiraEnal. whose
funeral last Serteu.be- Was marked By
sreat pomP determined 10 send Mrs.
Neyler gift the customary way Of Oh
tanning the goodwill Of the the Spanish
officials. He found ct q Jewellers two
necklaces, each costing S20.eoo and both
being Sc beautiful that nc could not
choose between them. 50 he sent them
both 10 Mrs Weyler. With The message
that she SHOULD make her choice. he re-
ceived a warm letter Of thanks from her.
stating that the necklaces were So beau
tsful that she could not decide between
them. hence she would keep both. which
she did.
sgg
The late historian. Samuel RsWson
Gardiner, used 70 say OF Froude: When
eyed l find myself particularly perplexed
on any point. ! look 10 see What Froude
has 10 say about 1t. l always ind his
help invaluable. for ! can trust implicitly
in his unfailiag instinct for arriving ar
false conclusions. and the more positive
he becomes. the safer ! feel in adopting
q diametricaily opposite view
< K x
Not long ago when the venerable Ed
ward Everett Hale was on q visit 20
New York he boarded a crowded Broad-
way car for a trip uptown. A little boy
got up and offered him his seat. DR. Hale
took it, saying in his hearty way as &c
did SO; Thank you, my boy. thank
you. I'll do as much for you when y0u
are eighty. II 1 happen TO be around
then"
sz
Once Colonel A 3. Andrews loaned his
private car 10 Grover Cleveland 10 so on
one OF his periodical duck hunts He took
great pains 10 coach his porter TO say
Mr.. President every time he address
ed the Hon. Grover. and by the time the
ex-president got into the ear the negro
had il down fine.
Walk in Mr.. President was the first
remark Have a seat. Mr.. President,
was the next Dinner is served. Mr.. Pres
ident" was the third. II VIII show you 10
your stateroom. Mr. President. followed
This is Colonel Andrew 5 private room.
Mr.. President said the porter. Nobody
uses this room but Colonel Andrews. Mr
President" said the porter in a patro-
nizing way.
AR Cleveland 10 humor him perhaps.
said: who IN thunder is Colonel An
drews?"
You don't know Colonel Andrews
said the porter.
NO. who is hep replied Mr. Cleveland.
The negro collapsed and during the
remainder Of the trip he let the expires
dent wait or himself as the fact that he
did not know Colonel Andrews seemed
20 be too much for him.
< x =
Tennyson was fond of relating story
of how the Duke OF Wellington. when
very old man and president Of the privy
council. once walked up from Downing
street instead Of riding as he usually
did. When ne came 10 a point opposite
Ansiey house, the old soldier could nos
cross the street safely. owing TO the
number OF carriages and hansOms that
were whirling past. AT last well-dress-
cd man recognized the duke in the crowd,
went Up 70 him and said
''Wrl your grace allow me the honor Of
escortfug YOU across the roady
Thanks" said the old hero laconi-
cany. This was safely accomplished. and
Thanks said the duke again. But the
patriotic Brit1n. standing uncovered. said;
My Lord Duke this is the proudcst
moment OK nv life. Z shall tell my chill
dren. that ] once had the distinguished
honor OF escorting across the street the
hero Of Waterloo
The Duke. with his aristocrstic beak
and military whisker looking down %
his ELUSIVE friend with his eagle glance.
said dyly; Now. don Z make ID fool
Of yourself" and forthwith vanished.
u
While visiting one u the southern Is
lands Ct the Philippine archipelago with
a party of friends. Sfrs. Mabie LOOMS
met some natives who were particular
Is distinguished by the very handsome
head-work on their garments. All the
women Of the touring party coveted spec
linens but all attempts 70 buy proved
fruitless One young woman. who Aad
lived many years in Samoa. overheard
their conversation. and remarked that she
thought she understood them. their nla-
Loot was so nearly Ike the samoan Ian
euage. Some OF the chapevons 81 the
young women urged her % go ahead and
see IL she could make any headway NTH
them The chief whom she addressed
threw up his hands in surprise
what said he does the white maiden
talk our language lie was oyertoyed
and promptly asked her the samoan
eou{valenf Tor what can do for you
she told him tn her sweetest samoan
how much she adm rcd the head-work on
their garments ard how much she would
Ike q bus "a piece cf il. 70 take back 70
her own country and show her country
men how slailfui and artistic these
particular FIipinos were. no. sad the
chief. with a i0rdiy wave ~ the hand,
YOU shall not buy. you shah take as
eifL" Whereuuon ne quickly removed
his trousers and handed them over wita
the uuaiushtng grace ~ child ~ na-
ture. The young woman hastily resumed
her English tongue and the chaperons
made their charges coufne their future
f1sportualties D. The women ~ the tribe,
charming young LADY - kensi1Etou
who ciories ia the possession - a wealth
of bright auourn-colgSed hair. IS the
teacher 81 3 Sunday school class On
recent Sabbath The rector made TIRE ar
nounccme1t 81 3 hmm 20 De sung. and
the organ peaied forth
''HSow said be. -readF-s.nz
small and precocious youth IL the
zvouana class said
1shv don't v4s . ng. Miss Frisoer2-
NE Oh 7 rever sing replied The
teacher srulfinE her rrefTierf
But" explained the Roy. the minister
SAYS sou fnzst Didn't he Just Say. Vow.
f,s8dT stag.
smelling salts ard rumerous other re-
eto~attves had - 81 used - bring ere
teacher ost - beg faint.
cofsTie ~ fhe poker 1isFers ne rer1i-
occasionally ~ oae r. ere Smaller n1-
town cluhs ard r5av -fe great Agrfrisn
.r 49, s=.s zr~- faesf.-