davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-11-27

Cream Balm Is placed into the nostris, spreads
over the membrane and 10 absorbed. Relisfis I'M
mediate and cure follows. 1t Is not drying-does
not produce sneezng. Large Size, 30 cents ct Drug
pist. or by mail; Trial Size, 10 cents by mail.
ELY BROTHERS, Sc Warren Street, New York.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-11-27

For sick headache try ChGmberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets; they will
ward of the attack II taken ia time.
For sale by Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-11-27

Mrs. Destyle-My husband is al
ways in for good time.
Mrs. Gunbusta -Miueis always out
for bis.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1902-11-27

"Me brudder wuz at two places at
de came time"
"Is dat 90 ?"
"Yes; he was over in France and
home-sick."
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
Music That Had No Charms.
The Office Boys Mischief.

woke manslaughter. Before Van Bib
Der could rise from his chair buxom
signorita arrived with a tambourine.
"Drop.y something she said, shak
ing the tambourine vigorously.
'Ill drop a brick" yelled Van Bib
Der, advancing menacingly. you peo
people have got to keep away from
here. Understand"
At frequent intervals during the day
an organ would start playing under the
office window. Van Bibber was in
censed to the fighting point. He at
tempted to throw one persistent con
cert collector down the stairway, but
still they came.
During the afternoon the young real
estate man dropped in. His face was
illuminated with a broad smile.
you must be fond of music. old
man" he said" to want all those or
gan grinders around"
Want them?" grow1ei Van Bibber
why, I'd like to scalp half dozen"
But you invited Them"
Quit 'jollying',"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
20 Children a Blessing

Chapter after chapter might be writ
ten about the management of Mrs.
Sam" Swartwood, and much interest.
ing data, domestic, scientific and NOR
al, be deduced from a study of the
methods pursued by that lady in rails
ing her phenomenally large family.
Mrs. Swartwood has borne twenty
Ave children, eighteen of whom are
still living. She is an intelligent
American born woman of forty.three
years. Her ancestors have lived for
generations in the beautiful Wyoming
Valley, in Pennsylvania. and she and
her husband, locomotive engine driv.
err, are among the most highly respect
ed people of Mountain Top, village
eight miles from wllkesbarre.
Here Mr.. and Mrs. Swartwood were
both born. and here. too, in the com.
Portable eight room house in which
they are living, we're born their TWEEN
ty.five sons and daughters.
Eyes, I'm the mother Of twenty-five
children, and I'm proud Of IT," declar-
ed Mrs. Swartwood. swinging back
and forth in her low wooden rocking
chair in an effort to hush the sleepy,
fretful baby in her arms. The rocking
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

Thirteen was. 1t seems very
young now, but then nobody thought
anything about 1t. Girls were women
when they were thirteen and fourteen
as much So in fact as they are now
at eighteen and twenty.
What do | think about early mar.
rlagcs?" echoed Mrs. Swartwood
We'll, | believe in them. think It
best for girls to marry young, though
not so very young as | married. don't
believe they ought to marry young just
for the sake of marrying, however; but
II good chance comes along and the
young folk love each other. think 1t
best for them to marry right OFF. When
a couple love each other | think It is
a sin for them not to marry, no differ.
enCe how poor they are. think II Is
a sin for them to walt years and years
until, as they imagine, they can afford
IT,"
But don't you think II Is just as
much of sin to bring children into
the world when their parents have q
hard time to support even them.
selves?'
A Bleeding stubbed Toe.
Here a loud scream came from the
yard. and a small boy came in with a
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

For the fourth time that day the
squeaky notes OF barrel organ float
ed up from the street. Van Blbber
was furious.
MS enough to drive a fellow to the
bug ward" he stormed, throwing
down his pen and rushing to the win
dow. IN have to appeal to the police
to keep these nerve wreckers away.
Why on earth do they stop here? l
don't give them anything"
Just then the door opened and a
smiling foreigner extended his swar
thy hand.
mo, / haven't anything for you and
don't want to hear any OF your music.
Get OUT"
Van Bibber pushed the intruder out
and slammed the door. Then, after
the squeaking had ceased, he resumed
work at his desk. Hardly had he made
an entry in the big ledger before an.
other organ arrived. This object OF
torture had a sprained roller, and
when it started to play Go Way Back
and Sit Down 1t was enough to pro
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

funny. isn't IT, that mother can hard.
ly ever say right off how many boys
and girls she has? Anyhow, I can't
without counting them every time.
Now, let me see. There's Maudc,
she's one, and Cora is two, and
Blanche three. May and Elsie and
Ruth make four, five six; Gertrude is
seven. Flora eight Esther and--and
Edith. that's ten-ten girls and fif'
teen boys"
you didn't count Lottie, mother.
remarked one OF the girls who was
ironing.
Didn't ? Well, then. Lottie makes
eleven--that's 1t. remember now
eleven girls and fourteen boys. Surely
I ought not to forget those numbers
again" and a tired smile crept into the
mothers eyes.
And the boys; what are their
names?" | asked.
Counts Them on Her Fingers.
Mrs. Swartwood wrinkled her brow
reaectively and began. counting them
of slowly on her fingers:
"There's Walter-he's the oldest
and Louis and Thaddeus and Herbert
and Warren and Samuel and Daniel
and Alonzo ana Elmer and Calvin and
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

to even get our washing done.
What is the greatest difficulty?
Well should say the sewing. or
course, 1t isn't so bad now, but when
my first fifteen or sixteen children
were small ii kept me busy keeping
them covered. and it took nip and tuck
to find money to buy material; but
managed to get through all right. and
to keep them always looking neat. |
wore out three sewing machines doing
II, though, and that is my fourth,
pointing to the new cabinet machine
in the corner.
81 am afraid sometimes | am not
thankful enough for my blessings.
Here I have my eighteen healthy.
hearty children all about me.
They are all good. honest boys and
girls. never heard one of my boys
utter an oath, and | never knew one OF
them to take a drink of whiskey. The
older boys work over In the railroad
yards with their father, and bring their
wages home to me every Saturday
night No mother ever had so many
such good dutiful children as have,
and yet sometimes get very unhappy
II only the other seven had
lived to grow up"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
Mrs. Sam SwartwOOd
ON THE
dOyS Of Motherhood

bleeding, studied toe to be bound up
He howled as only small boy with a
stubbed toe can, and refused to allow
any one but his mother to touch it.
That was the way with the whole
twenty-five remarked Mrs Swart.
wood. as she tenderly wound the ban.
dage. when any Of them got hurt or
sick there was nobody who could sooth
them but me-"
Mrs. Swartwood kissed away the
tears ON the small boys cheek. and
he limped out to resume his game OF
hop scotch.
Maybe you won't believe it," re
sumed the mother. but it's true that
didn't find It any Harder to take care
of eighteen or twenty children than
did one or two. The more children
you have the easier you find the care
Of them; and then you learn how to do
things in the simplest way, and you
also learn how to save yourself use.
less work"
Never Had Any Household Help.
And you've never kept any hclp?"
suggested.
Help" exclaimed Mrs. Swartwood.
in amazement. Help. well should
say not! We were always too poor
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
Serious Results of
Cat and Dog Hatred

Everybody knows how much a dog
and cat hate each other, but 1t is very
seldom that their disiikes lead to such
serious results as did a difference that
lately occurred between a bulldog and
a black cat in fruit store.
The owner of the bulldog used to let
him run around in the cellar for exer
else, but one morning the dog got tired
of his narrow quarters, and went up
stairs, into a neighboring fruit store,
where the black cat lived.
or course, the cat did not like to
have any one come into her home with.
out an invitation, much less one of her
old natural enemies-the dogs. So as
soon as the dog entered out jumped
the cat full upon him. and, of course,
a fight followed, which naturally drew
into 1t the owner of the fruit store and
The owner of the dog.
The dog, being very Lively. soon turn.
ed over several baskets of fruit and
upset the stands of oranges and pea.
nuts, while their masters were vainly
trying to settle the row. As there
seemed no early settlement in sight,
the owner OF the cat and fruit stand
called in policeman. but in the mean.
time the dog had virtually gotten the
best Of the fight, having caught the
cat by the neck, and all the coaxing
and pulling would not persuade him to
let go.
The owner OF the dog pulled and
pounded, and the policeman, seeing n
way out, put his billy" between Bru.
nos teeth and pried open his Jaws, on.
ly to find that the cat was so badly
mangled that 1t had to be killed, which
the policeman did with two bullets
from his revolver.
BrunO's owner settling the difference
by paying the damage, they both went
out, after having learned once more
that cats and dogs have a standing dis.
agreement that in but few instances Is
overcome.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

benjamin and Earl and Jesse and Ar.
tour. That makes fourteen, doesn't
IT,"
The baby had fallen to sleep, and
Ruth, the l4.year.oid daughter, who
had been experimenting the dinner.
carried the unconscious little burden
into the adjoining bedroom.
On the porch and in the yard behind
the house the younger children were
playing and shouting at the top of
their voices. Mrs. SwartwooS breath.
ed a sigh of relief and wiped the per.
SEPARATION from her forehead with a
corner Of her apron.
She is a dark eyed, dark haired wo.
man, of medium weight and height.
and not at all robust in appearance. A
tired smile-the smile of the patient
mother who never knows a moments
rest--hovers almost perpetually about
her mouth and eyes.
Ruth. bring me the Bible" she said
when the girl had returned. 81 just
want you 70 see for yourself. Some
people won't believe me when say
I've had twenty-five babies"
Married at Thirteen Years.
You must have been married very
young" suggested.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
funny FISHERMEN

In England the boys-and some.
times grown men-have very funny
way Of catching fish.
You would never guess what 1t is,
so | might just as well tell you right
of.
1t was an English boy who told me
about it.
you must first catch a goose" he
said, "and that is the hardest part
Then you tie line which has a baited
hook on one end, to the goose's leg.
Then let her go. She'll make for
the water every shot and as she
swims about she, of course, drags hook
and line after her
Pretty soon a fish bites and maybe
gets hooked.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

he went back to his room.
The next day they all handed in
their work and awaited the Wizards
decision.
1t was four days before he sent for
them
Richard" said he to the youngest
prince. your poem is not nearly as
good as the other two"
Il did my best" said Richard. More
than that you can ask of no man."
quite So" said the Wizard Wise.
man. AS for your brothers poems,
they are gems, and so evenly balanced
in merit that cannot choose between
them. Both are very, very fine"
DO not trouble yourself further, D."
said John and James, ovorJoyed; I'VE
do not care. You can bestow on us
the prize in common"
II said nothing about a prize" re.
joined the Wizard. Il merely said that
both of your poems were very. very
fine. They ought to be--they were
written by one OF our most illustrious
poets. You copied yours. John; you
copied yours, James, and the funniest
part of II is that you both copied the
same poem. There they are-word for
word alike"
So Richard got the prize after all.
Boys" said the Wizard. as he gave
the golden ball to the youngest prince,
ut is a fine thing to be clever. but the
man who is too clever often over
reaches himself"
And John and James ruefully looked
mp the word "overreach" in their die.
tionaries. and said they guessed he
was right.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
Had to Stop and Count Them.

the splendid trophy. His brothers
saw, and tiouted him. Work away,
you grind" said they derisively.
Writing poetry is a talent, not drudg.
cry. We shall not work half as hard
and dare say our poems shall be
twice as good" But Richard said
nothing and continued his work.
John and James were quite as eager
as he to gain the golden ball: this
time they were not only rivals to Rich.
ard, but to each other. John went at
once to his room and James to his.
Each of them had already concocted a
plan, and they were impatient to start.
As soon as James reached the room
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
SAMOAN OBSERVATORY

Near Apia, in Samoa, will soon be
established, under the auspices OF the
Academy of Science OF Gottingen, a
magnetic observatory, of which Pro.
lessor A. Nippoldt, the Berlin astrono.
mer. will be the director. The reasons
why Apia has been selected are be.
cause 1t is to the south of the magnet.
ic equator and because at an equal
distance to the north is the Observa.
tory Of Honolulu.
The meteorologists at these two
stations will make Investigations in
regard to Terrestrial magnetism, at,
mospherlc electricity, meteorology and
seismology. That their labors will re,
suit in adding a good deal to our pres,
ent knowledge of these subjects Is re-
garded by European scientists as Ger,
tain.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

When the sons of King Benefcent
were very young they went to school,
the Wizard Wiseman acting as their
teacher. One spring day he called the
three young princes to his cell and
spoke to them as follows:
princes. give you greeting. I want
each of you to write a poem. To the
one who writes the best original poem
by tomorrow shall give this golden
ball." and he held out splendid gold.
en- ball that sparkled In the sunlight.
The youngest prince, Richard, went
at once to his room and started in to
write, for he was very anxious to win
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
AMAZING EXPLOIT 3 = D. B. wAecENER

Let us suppose that you are having
little party at your house and that
you have played lots of games. eaten
lots Of good things. and are waiting
for somebody to give you a new kind
of amusement. All at once a boy
steps out and says that he has learned
how to cut a pane of glass with a pair
of scissors. and that he can do 1t just
as easily as If the pane of glass were
sheet of cardboard.
OF course you all laugh and try to
show him that you are not to be fooled
by any such nonsense as that, for you
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
THE GOLDEN BALL 3 = SIMON T. STERN

he bolted the door on the inside. Then
he opened secret door that led from
his room to his fathers library. He
walked softly along the passageway
until he reached the library. Once
there he took down from the topmost
shelf the Oldest volume OF poetry he
could find Nobody will ever know,
said he to himself and | must win
that golden ball" He copied poem
and replaced the book. Then he went
back to his room.
That night the other prince. John,
went into the library. He, too. took
down a book. He. too. copied poem
Then. exulting in his own shrewdness
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
The CAPTIVE CROCUS

q. A little maid with golden hair, 6
. When winter SHOWS were deep, {
&: Was prisoned in narrow cen Z
Z. Within a donjon deep. 9
I. Her captor was a wizard king,
4. Tyrannical and old; i
{. Twin warders watched her night {
{. and day. I
{. Their names were Dark and &
&. Cold. I
q. A prince came riding through the (
(" wood,
=. His waving plume was green,
&" And thick with crystal broidery Z
q. His tunic's silken sneen. q
4: He slew the warders in their Z
d" tower,
d" O'erthrew the ancient king, g
q. And happy lovers forth they q
% went,
4" The crocus and the spring.
o MINNA IRVING. Z
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

think he is merely guying you. But
the boy is in earnest, and says he is
ready to prove that he can do It II you
will furnish him win a pair of scis,
sors. a pane OF glass and tub partly
filled with water.
Then the boy takes off his coat--you
will excuse him under the circum,
stances-and rolls his shirt sleeves
above his elbows, Taking the scissors
in his right hand and the pane of glass
in his left, he sinks both entirely un.
der the surface of the water in the
tub, and with them thus submerged
he begins the cutting.
Naturally you wonder at the feat
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
HHLtN'S "B0O5|N" FLY

A little 3year-old of my acquaint.
ance, whose quick wit is the admlra,
ton of her friends, sat one evening.
watching an Industrious spider spin.
ming its web in a window corner. She
watched the insect intently for a
time, and, turning to her father, asked /:
What is the spider doing, papa?"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

for you think 1t feat, no doubt.
whereas It is very simple demonstra.
ton of law Of physics. II you at.
tempt to cut glass with a pair Of scis.
sors under ordinary circumstances II
will break into bits, and the break will
extend in various directions. That is
due to the vibrations caused by the
scissors. but plunge both scissors and
glass under water and keep them
there. with not the slightest part OF
either above the surface. and the VI
brations are deadened, so that the cut.
ting will be only in the direction of the
pressure made by the blades Of the
scissors.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
Sensible Money Savers.

There are no undertakers in Japan.
When person dies his nearest rela.
tives put him into coffin and bury
him. The mourning does not begin un.
I'll after burial
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

Then the goose feels something
Juggling at her leg, and she swims
along about as hard as she can, but
this only makes the Juggling worse
The only way to get away from that
awful something, she thinks. is to gel
out of the water.
80 with wildly beating wings she
makes for the shore at a rafting
pace"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

Stella-So Mahel's married! Who's
the happy man?
Bella-Don't think there is any
New York Sun.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
NOTICE.
ORGAN GRINDERS STOP HERE.

.. o
Van Bibber slowly raised his eyes
toward the office boy.
Are you the author of this?" he de.
manded, -.
yves, sir" stammered the boy.
What did you do 1t for77
II was lonesome, sir"
Van Bibber was silent. Then he
shook his finger under the youngsters
nose and roared:
"All right, III excuse you this time.
but II an organ grinder ever stops out
here again I'll throw you out of the
window"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

chair was shiny and the paint had long
since been worn of. 1t had been one
of her wedding presents, Mrs. Swart.
wood explained and the child in her
arms was the twenty.ffth she had
rocked to sleep in that same chair.
The kitchen where Mrs. Swartwood
sat was a big, sunshiny room, with a
mammoth dining table and big, high.
ly polished cook stove. on which the
family dinner was merrily boiling and
bubbling. Three hot checked girls, the
elder daughters. were ironing, and de.
posting piece by piece on the clothes
horse innumerabe small shirts and
"panties" and aprons for the very lit.
tie ones, and garments OF all descrip.
tons and ever increasing size for the
other members of the family. A mar.
vellous display of home laundry work
II was.
Had to Stop and Count Them.
Eyes, there's twenty. dozen
and one more for good measure" con
tinued Mrs. Swartwood, shifting the
baby from her right arm to her left
How many girls and how many boys?
Well, now, I'm blessed II can tell you
without stopping to count them. It's
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01
The Wrong Boy
Got the Spanking

! A Detroit man was travelling with
his son, and wishing to transact some
business with the conductor, he said:
Now, Willie, I'm going to be away
just few minutes. You sit right here
and don't move a bit. II you do, I'll
spank you good and hard. So don I
stick your head out of the window.
You might have it taken OFF, ii you do:
then you wouldn't have any head, and
you'd get a spanking besides"
The father went away to find the
conductor. After few minutes he
came back.
There was little Willie, just his feet
and the seat of his trousers sticking
in through the window. He appeared
TO be more outside than inside. and
whenever a telegraph pole whizzed by
and looked especially close, he would
make lunge for II, as If trying to
catch II.
The father did not hesitate. He
made a grab for the boy just as the
latter made a lunge for a pole. He
pulled him in by the heels, laid him
over his knees, and began to fulfil his
promise. The little fellow yelled and
yelled until he almost drowned out the
noise of the train, but during lull in
the uproar the father heard smoker
behind him. He laid the boy down
and turned to see what it meant.
There, two seats behind and across
the aisle, was his son, with two fingers
stuffed In his mouth to keep his merri.
ment in. The man rubbed his eyes
and looked again, but there was no
mistake.
He looked at the boy in his lap. Be
hind the tears was a face he had nev.
er seen before. He had spanked some
other mans son.-Galyeston Daily
News.
+<<+++++++++++++++++tt++++
Pm not jollying Go see what is
hanging out of your window" Van
Bibber raised the sash and fished in q
big card. In crude but distinct letters
was this invitations
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

1T is making a web dear"
What does 1t want web for?"
ITO trap flies for its dinner, my
child"
Helen was silent for a moment. then
exclaimed;
"Oh! Does 1t eat boosin flies, papa"
"Boosln flies, child? Don't you mean
bu2zing fiies?" And then, in tone
which implied a depreciation in her
juvenile opinion OF the paternal infalll.
bility, she replied;
Why, no, papa. Don't you know
Jesus, lover OF my soul,
Let me to Thy bosom hy?"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

Sunday Bulletin, st.25 per year.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-06-01

Pm not 'jollying. Go see what is
hanging out of your window" Van
Bibber raised the sash and fished in a
big card In crude but distinct letters
was this invitation:
The bee., 1902-02-13

now to hold q checkrein on the fellow
who sent it to her, and that keeps her
busy. She losses it about and laughs
when now and then she has occasion
to tumble out the trash in that old box
where she keeps it.
Her husband. Hon. Richard Hardy
may he live and hold office long!-was
soldier in the sixties. too, and marched
with Sherman down to the sea. He
probably could have got paper and pen
ell that Valentines day, 'G5. but in
spirit of whimsical humor he picked
up piece of driftwood. oblong, square
cornered and worn smooth by the wa
ter. Upon one side Of II he carved in
print letters with his jackknife. The