The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-11-08

its a tur-rble thing to be tn pris'
ident w a college," said Mr.. Dooley
Eye have to be so intilligint."
Who's in trouble now" asked Mr.
Hennessy.
.Ne frind. tn prisidint iv Harvard
said Mr.. Dooley. Hes very sad. ]
thought tn wurruld was goin' on
splindidly. Firm day to day tn weather
has been pretty good, barrin' occa-
sional rain. TIL coal strike is over
an we'll have plinty iy coal this winter
If tn Waterman don't look out. TIL
people ar-round me ar-re pretty good
folks whin they don't crowd. They re
as happy as they desarve to be an as
good to each other as they ought to be.
1 amt discontinued with tn wurruld
an | amt sad an l thing ivrything
will come out all right in tn end or
nearly right or wrong or some way.
But not SO with me frind, tn pris-
idint iy Harvard. Where you an me.
Hinnissy, with our little six-an-three-
eighths intelligence sees nawthin' but
good enough, tn prisidint iv Harvard
beholds a blue an mournful situation.
TIL wurruld is on tn blink. Things
amt comm out right. We're all goin'
to tn divvle an no wan TO hinder. It's
a bad, wicked, card-playin', novel
readin', booze-consumin', wife-batin',
laughin'. odyous wurruld. An what's
tn raison FIR it2 Iddycatfoni Iddyea-
ton, be hivins. TIL common schools
has put ivrything to tn bad.
Il was lookin' at his speech tn other
day In it made me feel as diseased as
IL I'd been readin' a book Nv family
medicine. I am Obliged he says to
Inform ye,' he says, that tn good we
EXPECTED firm poplar ~iddycation hasn't
come off, he says. L will proceed he
says, to tn unweleome but agreeable
task iv tellin' We about it, he says.
In tn first place, FIR more thin two
~gin'rations we have been sthrugglin'
with th'barb'rous If Jolly vice iv
drunkenness, which nobody can deny,
which nobody can deny. / EXPECTED all
along that a knowledg of joggerphy
an compound numbers would f'river
rid tn wurruld iv this curse that has
come upon us lately an that was un-
known in tn Plymouth gin'ratiou.
tLaughter.1 But not at all. TIL fact
that a mar can bound Zambesi an
dig up tn square root iv ten don't
seem to have subjooed tn horrid
cravin' FIR tn fightin' mixtures. Thou
sands iv men who have declined a verb
have niver declined a bowl. Tn
amount iv liquor that is ivry year
pushed into tn fev'rish head iv per-
sons who know about fractions an tn
use iv shall and will is enough to
dhrive an iddycator to drink.
81 leap to another cause iv tn
dumps. Gamblin'. Gamblin' is a new
vice. l niver heerd iv it befure | whit
to Harvard. But such a holt has it
took on this poor land iv ours through
tn assistance of poplar i~ddycation.
that today in ivry hamlet tn click iv
tn poker check is tn response to tn
clang iv tn school bell. Little boys
dart firm tn blackboard to tn horrid
ehaiked circle in tn school yard where
they play mibs FIR keeps while their
mothers gamble at cribbage FIR a penny
a pint an their fathers set up all night
thryin' TO fill tn busted flush. But in
vain.
81 now pass to novels, which make
me mos depressed. | had hoped in
tn halcyon days iv me youth that
whin we had piped our people full iv
quadrhatic equations they wud read
oh'y tn best books, e. g., Gloom" be