davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Notes From The Farm Journal.
The beginning OF good farming is the
good farmer.
Lifting ut the wheel Is all right pro.
vided you are lifting the way things
naturally ought to go.
The time to look out Is when every.
thing seems to be coming our way. No
tide but has its ebb. Big crops and
full barns this year do not warrant ex'
travagance.
Don't put or laying in the stock OF
ice too long. II It Is six or eight inches
thick and the weather is falling. start
the saws and teams. Better that thick
ness than none at all.
It is one thing to know that things
are going wrong. quite another TO set
matters moving in the right direction
Most any one can tell when his pocket
book Is getting empty. Where the vim
comes in Is IN filling the void.
No matter how carefully the lumber
wagon may be housed. In the course
OF few years the paint will be worn
or. 1t Will not cost much to get Ii
small pail OF paint, aud IL you nre han
dy with tbs brush you cau put Il on
yourself.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
NORRIS COUNTY CHRONICLE: FRIDAY JANUARY 81. 1907

''EIe WINS"
"Und who ybas Shakcspcarc?" be
yelIs ash he shakes his club at me.
II dunno"
mo. you don't know. und yet you get
come books by him und leaf me out.
Does Shakespeare run dis wardT"
II can't say"
"vhas he as big as yhas?"
II dunno
"Can dot Shakespeare make you
shovel snow off der sidewalk or bring
out your ash barrels? Can he put out
bonfire or stop German band? Can
he arrest dog mitout any muzzle on
or make street car stand still? Speak
up, cobbler, und tell me-"
II dunno"
"Den make you known he says.
und he knocks me around till vhas
dead und tells my wife dot when l
wake oop to say to me dot he Will
come back next day und gif me few
more. III. QUAD.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Gets Him Into All Sorts of Predicn-
ments. with More Coming.
copyright. 1901. by C. B. Lewis.l
~ on coal man vhas my frendi
und like to see me do PEGS
~ ness, und he comes to my
place und says:
"Hans, l shall tell you something's to
make you rich mans In a year. You
must have a little library along nit
your cobbler shop. If mans WANTS
cement patch on his shoe, you must
gif him Shakespeare to read While he
waits. 1t shall be called Der Shake
spearean Cobbler Shop und you shall
see how mooch he Will be appreciated.
l shall lend you some Shakespeare to
put in your library"
I don't know who Shakespeare vhas,
but pellet she yhas good idea. Dot
coal mans brings me oop six books.
und / put out sign. My shop vhas
open only ten minutes pefore q mans
comes In und says:
"You vhas some literary cobbler,
ehr
II vhas," says.
"Und you hat books to read While l
hat lift put on my heel? Well, by
golly, dis yhas new idea. und like
it.n
He looks oafer dose six books In two
minutes und says:
"Ah-umi 1 don't see dot book !
vhant. Cobbler, hat you got Robinson
Crusoer"
II don't pellet I hat"
"But Why notf She vhas der most
Interesting book In all der world. II
you like to please your customers, you
vhili half Robinson Crusoe.' Shust
step out und get him for me While l
wait. I like to read about his man
Friday"
II can't do it." saga
"But Why not?"
III dunno, but can't do is
'Oh, I see! You get six books by
Shakespeare und don't care II der peo-
pies vhas pleased or not. vhas dot
some way to do peesnessf Neffer!
Sir. you yhas fraud. und I shall
break you oop in peesness!'
! don't say nottings. but he vhas mad
und likes to punch my head for two
cents. He goes out shaking his fist at
me. und in two minutes young mans
comes in und says:
''Cobblcr. a patch on dot shoe While
I tarry. How about dot free library r.
"She vhas all K. o."
''Let me see like to read book
by Shakespeare called His Own Oar
ling but you don't hat. him here. How
vhas dot?"
II dunno"
"But you should know. Dot vhas a
book to melt your heart. You can't
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

The frequently quoted II do not pin
my faith upon your sleeve" is traced
in sentiment to feudaf times, when the
partisans OF leader used to wear his
badge pinned upon their sleeves Some
times these badges were changed for
specific purposes. and persons learned
to doubt. hence the phrase. ''You wear
the badge. but do not intend 10 pin
mr. faith on your Sleeve"
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
Her oo~-~~~~
POlygamous
H0QQb By
As FREDERIC VAN
RENSSELAER, DEFY
CopyrsKhs. 1901. By r.v. R. Dsn

They sat facing each other in the din
ing room OF the st. Denis. Pain, en-
treaty, pathos, anger, CONSERVATION
and doubt were compositely depicted
on his features. Hers shone with calm
resolution, feariessness and defiance
Between them, on the table, nothing
remained hut the coffee. The room
itself was almost deserted, for the hour
was late and nearly all OF the guests
had departed.
Gan there be higher. nob,er career
Tor any woman than that Of wife and
notherT' he demanded.
t"There are careers and careers. Just
now cannot see my way clear to
adopt the matrimonial one. l will not
marry now. Perhaps never! / do not
know. All that do know is this
the thought is repugnant- My mind is
bent upon other things. / have ambi-
tions." Then she raised her eyes, and.
looking him squarely In the face, said
half Quizzicaliy and yet with earnest
ness, "If you were Ave men in one in
stead OF one man In ten thousand, l
might marry you and try It."
GOOD heavensv' he exclaimed. but
without raising his voice. you are
entirely beyond me tonight. l cannot
understand you Is It that you doubt
my love7"
no" she replied calmly. while with
aelicate precision she balanced sugar
cube ON the handle Of her spoon. II
DO not doubt your love, but do doubt
6he adaptability Of the love Of any man
through ali the circumstances and con-
aitions Of married life. You are nearer
my Ideal. or rather my idea Of what
man should be, than ever hoped to
seallze until knew you. but II should
consent 20 take you down from the
pedestal where my fancy has placed
ron feel that 1t would be your undo
ing and mine. Let MS remain AZ we
sre-I. to pursue my career; you. to
climb to the top Of your profession.
xou see," and she raised her eyes again
and smiled brightly upon him. you are
cot ave men. You are only one man"
He was silent, gazing through the
window and wondering vaguely why
tU9 btreet khxup 0CEUhb Tic way u0teu
- badly In the open air.
"Shall 1 explain to you what mean
BY ave men instead OF one mani" sha
questioned.
"As you please" he replied moodily.
s'If were five, one OF US would poison
The other four. However. let me hear
lhis original polygamous doctrine Of
yours"
..Poiygamousl Graciousr' she ex-
:lnimed. II had not thought of 1t in
that light. However. to be thoroughly
satisfied from waking to sleeping moth
ting short OF Ave men could fulall my
ideal OF matrimonial bliss. You must
remember my childhood. lived among
Ave aunts. AS rule, spent from six
months to year with each and then
recommended the circuit. BY combin-
Ing the good qualities. or what al
least conceived to be the good qualities,
OF the Eve men OF those families into
one man and eliminating the bad ones,
the perfect husband would be created.
But it is impossible Of achievement.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
steam.

II the cover Of the kettle is lifted, the
boiling water seems to be covered BY
q cloud OF white steam. but this cloud
did not exist before the cover was
raised. 1t has been formed by the sud.
den cooling OF the vapor. In glass
boiler which is either completely seal.
ed or provided with only narrow out
let for the vapor the space above the
water is perfectly transparent and ap-
parently empty.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
Clever Va.

A marvellous feat Ia recorded OF a
young Japanese student. He entered
the University OF Berlin some years
ago as a medical student being then
entirely ignorant OF German as well as
OF science, yet in three months he pass
ed an examination conducted in Ger
man. including several branches Of the
medical curriculum.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

"What brought you to this? asked
the student OF social conditions as the
hobo was arraigned.
Good luck" answered the weary
one, trying to steady himself.
''Good luck! Surely you don't call II
good luck to be arraigned in police
court"
The weary one was too weary to an
@wer.
'Tf he hadn't been accidentally lock
ed In a saloon over night, he wouldn't
be here" explained the officer.-Chica.
On Post
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

CAuGs
sShali we GOT" he said.
no" she replied calmly. not NOV
| ing. "Slt down again. l want before
we part TO convince you Of the unwis
dom Of any thought Of marriage be
tween us. at least for years to come"
Il am convinced" he replied. reseat
ing himself.
"What. already7"
"Quite convinced"
"What do you think of my theoryT
II think Il quite worthy of n pur
poseiess woman who has no room In
her heart for any other love than self
1t is the theory of thoroughly heart
less, selfish woman whose career is nj.
ready attained, and / tremble when
think that you might have said yes.
Shall we go now7''
"At once-if ron please-at once"
Somehow they did not meet again.
He seowled upon the world, and APP
piled every energy of his life to his
professional work. She tossed her
head in anger and chagrin and sought
for extra force and pith with which
70 impregnate her literary work. The
ambitious hopes which he had enter
tained prospered and were at last full
filed. for he attained the height II not
the zenith Of his profession. The ca
reer for which she had prayed fell up
on her like a mantle when least ex.
pected and most unsought. In way
both were famous; each was prosper
GUS. They had Travelled as the letter
Y Is formed. parting In anger where
the arms lead OF In either direction,
each too proud to inquire concerning
the other. Neither married.
They met, apparently by accident. In
the dim library Of q mutual friend.
Exactly how the friend had managed
the meeting she never confessed. From
the distance came the murmuv Of
voices. the ripple Of laughter. The mu-
tuai friend was giving . literary even
ing. He and she were expected to ap-
pear 90 lion and noness for the &C.
casion. But first the hostess closed the
door ON them, and they stood face to
face In the rose coaored light The
hostess was noted for her clever ar
ranRement Of general effects
1t was the first time they had seen
each other since that last dinner ct the
st. Denis. She had made her career
and had discovered that It could not
confer oil the happiness which her fem
inine nature required.
He had gratiAed ambition, attained
wealth. was socially popular and had
become q patron Of athletics. But when
the door closed behind their hostess be
knew that his love for this woman had
alone made HE quartet Of successes
possible.
He told her 50 In calm. straightfor-
ward words.
Ambition, wealth. social pleasures
and even sports" he said. II have pur.
sued only because I knew that some
where In the world you lived. and
found q selfish pleasure in pleasing
you. even though 1t were without your
knowledge"
And she. smiling through tears Of
happiness. replied:
FL have lived long enough to know
that the one man who truly loves pos
sesses more real worth than any com
posite being might Ii you love me, II
Is all l ask. for by love and through
love all other things are possible"
Presently the hostess returned and
peering into the room, said:
"Well?"
1--WE are to be married tomorrow" b,
replied, quietly. here In your parlors.'
And the hostess again said:
"Welly'
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
Imperfect.

Imperfect.
Aptonobilist
Say, I want
this m as K
changed. 1t
doesn't cover
my face sum-
GENTLY.
Clerk But
it's the regular
thing.
| Cant help
that. l find
that the people
l run over arc
apt to recog-
nize me-
Life.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
TIE Prorer Thing,

EYES," remarked Mrs. Newly Richie
when speaking of her daughters mar
rage. 1--WE did not spare expense.
gave the caterer and the florist and the
dressmaker all carriage blanche in the
matter of money."-Brooklyn Life.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Old sigh, tpresbyopia) begins at about
the age Of forty. 1t Is FIRST noticed by
the tendency to hold the paper farther
on. The glasses should not enlarge the
letters. but simply render them clear
and natural at the ordinary reading
distance. whatever the ocular defect
the proper glasses should be obtained
AZ soon as It Is discovered.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
sllas Lost.

Cyrus-Say. Silas, ]
bet yeou my barlow
against your pipe that
/ know q place where
they raise and ship
grain all in one day.
Silas II go yeou.
Now, where Is It?
Cyrus-The grain ell
evator. - Chicago
News.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

II s'posc," said Johnny, who had
been called upon to entertain the unex-
pected guest for few minutes you
have to-
Speak a little louder. my DEAR" said
the caller.
II s'pose." yelled Johnny. ''you have
to use an ear trumpet, cause your ear
drums busted. Chicago Tribune.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Young Mani wish
your opinion. sir. az
towhcther your daugh-
ter would make me q
good wife.
Lawyer-N0. sir: she
would not Five dol
lara please
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
one Hope Of Escape,

Seryant-Mr. Brown. the florist, Is
at the door with his bill.
Brown-Keep him waiting a minute.
and I'll put my money in my wife's
name.-Smart Set.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
ExpIaanea.

Explained.
Ehe-How did
you ever be-
come a drink
ing man. Colo
mel Sourmash?
| Hell have a
| strong suspi-
/ cion. Miss Eas-
terly, thatthirst
had something
| 70 do with 1t.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Systematic.
Lady Why
don't you brace
up? Yon don't
know where
your next meal
Is coming from.
Tramp-Surc
I do? Amt /
got me sched-
1le7
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

The most forlorn looking object In
this world IL man guest around the
house ID the daytime. Atchison Globe.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Az Last.
II see that
Wagson is 60
ing to get mar
RED"
I'm glad no
has found n
way to support
himself.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
TwistinE abe Languare.

He-It is said that women care more
for dress than men. {
Ehe-Well, they don't. They care more
for men.-Chicago News.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

Now, here's 70 the critter which WIN
turn up it's nose at fragrant clover ana
Juicy blue grass and eat weeds, the
Angora goat. We know OF several men
who should immediately 20 and sell
All the stock which they have and buy
goats
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
An old story.

Castieton = Willie. for younger
brother you don't seem to have much
curiosity about your sister and my
self.
Wiliie-No. did when the fellows
first came. but now guess I've seen
all there Is to be seen.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31

In 1886 this country imported over
10000, 600 pounds OF raisIns, producing
but few at home. In 1901 we produced
q, 10000 pounds ana imported but
100000 pounds. 1t Is such things
which make Europe poor and America
rich.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1902-01-31
HANS, THE COBBLER.
Ne lsApvIsED 70 START a LITERARY
sHcEsHoP TO sooM HIS TRADE.

Tries the EXPERIMENT. hut, m Usu-
rl, the Scheme Faiin TO Work and
Gets Him Into All Sorts Of Predica-
menta, with More Coming.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-11-16
Writes RELIGIOUS Verse.

While Nebraska has furnished a food Of au-
thors Of local fame and few who have widened
their hearing beyond the limits Of the State,
Omaha has had but little share in producing
them until very recently The choir of singers
has lourished on the fiat prairie to the west,
where the grimness Of the surroundings las
tinged their songs with pessfnism and despair.
During the last few years, however, Omaha has
sent out several men and women Of letters
who have made their mark in the world and are
now occupying places of note in the East One
OF the most successful writer's of Omaha still
remains where he first received recognition.
Charles Curtz Hahn, literary editor Of the Oma-
ha World-nerald has won a unique distinction
in the field of literary endeavor In this latter
day Of unfaith and agnosticism he has come for
ward with book Of poems that breathes a stead
fast faith calm spirit and religious enthusiasm.
He calls his book I'm Cloisters Dim" and
nearly every poem within the gray-covered book
breathes a religious atmosphere There is
feeling Of censers being swung. candle lights
Pickering ON altar and ohoirs chanting all
through the book
Mr. Hahn has not confined himself 10 verse
alone. but has produced fiction that has sold
readily His "The Wreck Of the South Pole"
tfavesty on theosophy. was successful and 10000
copies we're sold. booklet, so Fight H.
reached a good sale. and he now has in press a
musical romance entitled The organist OF ST
Mary's"
in cloisters DiHi" Il now In the third edition
and selling we'll Mr.. Hahn has done consider
able newspaper work and a great many OF his
poems hrst saw the light Of day in the columns
Of Omaha papers.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-11-16
King a CIeber Author.

Only short time ago the poems of King Oscar
OF Sweden were translated into French and have
already attained wide circulation. 1t is now
announced that his majesty is about 10 publish
his memoirs and the statement has drawn at
tention to the fact that, with the possible ex.
ception OF Carmen sylvia, the descendant OF
Bernndotte, is the most versatile of contempt
raneous royal authors For King Oscar is a
man Of letters in every sense of the word-poet
historian, essayist and critic. A scientist Of
eminence his attachments in this direction re-
ceived public recognition some time ago when
he was elected honorary member of the Imperial
Society Of Naturalists OF Moscow He is a
member Of the leading scientific societies Of the
world and D. c. /. at Oxford university.
King Oscar never loses an opportunity Of dis
playing his love for art and letters, as the dele.
gates 10 the International congress of Journalists
held at Stockholm, in 1897 well know. On
that occasion the journalists assembled from the
various countries Of Europe and America we're
completely won over by the kings great charm
of manner, democratic ways and afability.
At the several banqucts given in honor Of the
press representatives King Oscar and the prince
royal remained throughout the evening, chatting
in familiar manner with the newspaper dele
gates. Such democratic attitude on the part
of royalty is totally without precedent in Europe
AS Swedish Journalist recently remarked IF
the Swedes were to proclaim republic tomorrow
the king would at once be elected president"
hing oscar, VINO, by the way, IS an honorary
member Of the Berlin academy, is, perhaps, the
most idyllic OF northern poets He has sung
the beauties Of his native land in a manner
which reveals in him the nature Of real poet
His best known production in this line is his
enthusiastic poem dedicated TO Gounod, for whom
the king had the most passionate admiration.
King Oscar, who has splendid physique, being
over six feet in height and powerfully built, was
great athlete in his younger days and has
always been fond OF sport, hunting In particular
and stalking the chamois more especially. Though
over 70 years old he is still passionatey fond of
mountaineering, and thinks nothing Of walking
twenty-five miles day. when on these walks
he generally outstrps his companions and often
returns to the castle mile or so ahead Of them
OF French ancestry, King Oscar shows his
descent by his esprit, which Is decidedly Gallo
Finally TO his other accomplishments he adds
that of being a good linguist speaking German
English French and Italian iuently
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1902-11-16
GamalteE x. Spring.

Ono more delightful figure has been added
for long while past 10 the gallery Of humorous
fiction than the American Major Gamaliel X
Spring, with his chivalrous respect for soar.
ing womanhood."-A. r CUTLER Couch in re.
view Of The Searchersn)
I'm over for a change, sir, after spending six
mortal months in insane asylum
There's nothing crazy about me- No sir il was
a necessary formality. I was confined
by legal Acknowledgment insanity--to avoid
unpleasantness had shot a man.
This fellow admired my wife he was heightened
and so he suited her taste right down to the
ground She told me so, and | didn't like it.
An American lady, sir, who is OF
soaring nature can not be suspected. That was
my mistakenly first mistake--to demonstrate
with her 1t was an insult, outrage on her
feelings. However, it didn't work. So did
what ought 10 have done at first I told the
varmint that the next time he came philandcring
about Mrs, Gamalie x. Spring I'd shoot him,
We'll, yes, sir, presume kept my word But
I'm such darned impatient fellow. Instead OF
waiting until got him alone aftcrward | ripped
out my revolver and winged him then and there
why, man alive, can't you sec what brutal
act it was Right before her To shoot in
the presence of a lady
Paint No, sir. Mrs Gamaliel X Spring has
a strong spirit She sent for the police. With
great presence OF mind she gave me in charge
as dangerous lunatic got the other fellow taken
to hospital and instituted proceedings for
divorce-all before night She's wonderful
woman.
II made no defense--there was none possible
No refined lady could overlook the aspersion on
her character combined with the shock TO her
nerves. Major Gnmael X, Springs wife said
she to me, must be above suspicion / am not
above suspicion, therefore l can no longer be
your wife The logic Of an American lady, sir,
when she likes to be logical, can not be con-
troverted, You can't get behind 1t. It's all
apitif