The Lewiston teller. (Lewiston, Idaho) 1900-1905, 1902-09-18
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But she didn't say mo-" She said
nit"
You can't have your cake and eat It,
but you can eat your own cake and
swipe the other fellow's.-Ohio State
Journal.
The Man (entering the store)-Have
you typewriter ribbons? The Fresh
Girl (behind the counter)-1s she blonde
or brunette?
Edith-YOu know that new horse
papa named after you? Well. he's
proved to be quite worthless. and papa
Is going to shoot him.-Puck.
Church, never cross a bridge I'M
til come to it. Gotham-Well, II you
refer to the Brooklyn bridge. you have
. good deal Of trouble even then.
Lucky He Hadn't.-"Miss Muggles
has had $4,000 left to her by an uncle
who had never seen her." "Well, that
explains t."-Phlladelphia Bulletin.
The Landlubber-How mad that
lighthouse keeper must be-he has
lighted that lamp a dozen times since
I have been watching, and it has gone
out every time.-Life.
by the way" reminded the curious
inquirer. whats a synonymous ex-
preston for talking shopr" "Well."
replied Joakley. there's 'tonsorial en-
porium,' and 'haircutting parlor.' ~
Philadelphia Press.
THAT Mr.. Squeezem had nothing but
praise for your sermon to-day" said
the minister's wife. after church. Eyes,
l noticed that when the plate was
passed around" said the pastor. sadly.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Pug-I suppose since the bulldog
lost his teeth he doesn't bite any more1
The Poodle-Only Miss Maud's gentle
men callers. The Pug-Why them? The
Poodle-They are such soft young men.
Philadelphia Record.
Bowman-My recital was a splendid
success. The audience was fred with
enthusiasm. Bridge-Mercy! Weren't
you afraid Of a conflagration? There
was 80 much paper in the house you
know.-Boston Transcript.
"Why Is It," said the self-conscious
young man who Is to be married. that
all the world loves lover?" "Per-
haps." answered the coarse and cyni-
cal person, ut Is because pity Ia akin
to ove."-Washington Star.
"How is it that you are 80 gallant in
the street cars nowadays2 Formerly
you never arose to give lady your
seat" Eyes; but now l am wearing
patent leather shoes, and If l sit every
one walks on them."-Toledo Bee.
Jack-Yes, l had little balance in
bank, but I became engaged two
months ago, and now Ned-Ahl
love makes the world 60 round. Jack
Yes, but l didn't think 1t would go
round SO fast as to cause me to lose
my balance.-Philadelp Press.
Butler (recently engaged by a newly
fiedged millionaire)-At what hour
would you wish to dine, sir? Million
alre-At what hour do the best people
dine? Butler depressing a smile)-Oh,
they dine at different times, sir. MIL
lionaire-Good! Then also will dine
at different times!
But" Missed the heavy villain, Sup
pose our plot should leak out" His
miserable accomplice shivered at the
thought But 1t can't" cried the low
comedian. emerging at that moment
from behind stage tree. because
from now on the plot thlckens, you
know."-Philadelphia Press.
Remarkably warm, isn't it?' said
the man who ID always cropping for
something to say. mo-" answered the
person who 10 ill-natured In warm
weather; ''this kind of weather has
occurred in every July I can remem-
Der. 1t isn't In the least remarkable.
1t 10 merely disagreeable. "-Washing-
| ton Star.
"Dearie." said Mrs. Loveydovey, II
see in the paper that q man out west
has had his stomach removed. won.
der whyr II suppose" said Mr..
I4oveydovey. that his wife persists in
trying to cook all the new-fangled
things she reads about In the recipe
department Of the Ladies' Home Week
ly."-Judge.
Waiter-Have . piece Of pie. sir1
Pincher-No. thank you; l never eat
pie. It doesn't agree with me. Walter
TO every person who has eaten one
order We give pie without extra
charge. Pincher-Come to think Il
over. you may bring me three pieces Of
pie. two Of berry and one Of custard.
Boston Transcript.
An old Irish woman came into thu