The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-05


Yes. sir tho servant replied. he was
quite sober.
How do you know he was sober
Because he asked ne 70 call him
early
This vas a convincing answer But
one Of the officers OF the court-rnaVtiaf.
that there was nc early pa
rade on the following morning. asked the
servant what reason his master gave for
wishing 10 be called early. Without
moments hesitation the servant replied.
He said he was the Queen OF the May,
sir"
sgs
= Scotchman wI.9 had been ernpioyed
nearly all his life IN the building # rail-
ways in the Highlands Of Scotland went
70 the United States in his later -earS
and settled IN a new section on the plains
of the far west Soon after his srrival
= project came up in his new home for
the construction OF a railway through the
district and the Scotsman was applied 10
rs a man of experience in such matters
.Hoot, mon" said Re TO the spokesman
OF the scheme. we Gamma build "a railway
across the country.
Why not Mr.. Ferguson
Why not2' he repeated. with an air
Of effectually settling the whole matter,
Why mott Dae ye no see the country
rs flat as a floor. and We dinna hac eny
place whatever to run your tunnels
through
ggz
man from Dunedin once visited the
town OF Wellington An Irish friend ir-
sisted upon the visitor STAYING at his
house instead Of at q hotel ard kept him
there for a month. playing the host in de-
tail. even 10 treating him % the tEeaterS
y az
fares. and the rest. When the visitor
WIS returning 10 Dunedin. the Irishmsn
saw MIN down 10 the steamer. and thew
went into the saloon to have a parting
drink
Whatu you haveG" asked the host. con
tinuing his hospitality 70 the very Last.
Now look here. said the man rom
Dunedin. III hae nae mair a this Here
ye5ce been keepin me at yer hoese Tor
cabs an drinks-I tell We I'll stan nae
mair o it. Wen just haze a toss Tor tnis
one"
ggg
II was at a elmer party The bright
Young man found himself privileged to sit
next TO the young woman with beautiful
arms and neck. He thought himself the
most favored parsonage in the room sud
denly his fair companion exhibited signs
OF nervousness. TWO of his very best
Jokes saved for a special occasion. PASSED
by unnoticed Her face wore "A look 81
alarm. Apprehensively the young man
gazed at her, ard meeting the lock she
said:
I am in misery"
In Misery echoed the man.
Yes" she replied Il was vacinated
the other day and 1t has taken hessuti-
fully. I could almost scream. n hurts So
The young man looked at the beautiful
arms and seeing no marx tnere. said:
why where were YOU vaciHated?' o.
In Boston. she replied. the smile
chasing away the look OF pain.
sEz
Thomas NJ Patterson. the new senator
from Colorado. is PR .pany known in
Ills state for the frequency with which
he charges his politics. Within the last
eight years he nas been a Democrat. thsn
q Populist. and then a Democrat again.
besides supporting independent local
tickets NJ various times IN Denver. In
this winter they are telling
q story Il something that happened IN
Denver once. young and green ioliti-
cal canvasser had been put en- TO canvass
the election district in which Mr. Fat
terson lived He raTg the bell 90 the
naenificsnt Patterson home al the cor
ner Of Pennsylvania and Eleventh ave
nuos. and of the sable servitor who APP
reared demanded the name Of the ccc1-
pant.
'Nistaf Tom Pattahson.~ responded
the colored boy.
what are his politics." asked the
adhering strictly 70 his list OF
printed questions.
''Why. Iaws-a-massy. boss" said the
serving man. Il don't know He amt
been home since breakfast"
x 4s
Not long ago an anxious mother brought
her daughter TO see a famous London
physician The girl was suffering from
" hat some people call general iowness-
There was nothing much the matter with
her. Dut she WAS pale and iistiess. and
did not care about doing anything. even
eating
The doctor. after due consultation. pre-
scribed Tor her q glass Of claret THREE
times a day with her meals. The moth
er was somewhat deaf bat apparently
heard All be said. and bore CT Der
determined IL carry out the
prescription to tho letter.
In two weeks she Wa back with the
girl. who was rosy checked. smiling and
the picture 90 health.
The doctor naturally congratulated him
i
am glad 10 see your daughter b. 70 much /
better.
Thanks 70 you. doctor" exclaimed the +
grateful mother she mas had Just
what YOU ordered. She has eaten carrots /
three times a day. and sometimes often I
err and once or twice she Rad them W. /
cooked; and nov look az her
XIX zg
That Of course. eoncIndeGfhs case
TIE teacher ~ an Intermediate grade fu /
Do. Third ward school 10 WHWaukeo 3as
showing or ner pupils before number /
~ visitors.
The spelling class was on TIE aoor. ard j
1ne small rej-hesded Boy was given fhe 4
word introduction
lie paused twisted his lips stared and 4
thea "a taltering say spelled IL core
rectly. and seemed rather surprised that 1
b. had done r..
no you know what the word rnesns7'.
lsAed the teacher.
40 m
~shatg You don't know what intro
luctier meaas1
sc
wen. pov. III explain itto yos. Doai
rour mother ever have callers
"Yes'm'
'-wal. now suppose that two isdieH
.a-as ~ csu on vaur mother so9r
mother knows crc - the ladiea sHt doss
so know the ether. She has never seen
DE- lazy ana doesn't even krow her ssnae
Sow. how uoufd she Aec9n0e acquainted
Hith shis lady md ard oit her narae
she 3 send me eut f0r car = beer
~ that pas the rrrrect arHNsr. fhs
each1r bad nothing further - ~.
zxS
when TIE late rrss4ea~rt sri PARTY wsrl
.ess nor uarv mentss before b. 1as
s,.s xf-r ssrF-s-1a-. s. ain ~ fsr~r--r faa--