The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-12-14
new YORK TOPICS
VIEWS AND UNDERCURRENTs OF
THE METROPOLIS.
ONE OF TOM REEDS JOKES.
HE PLAYED 1T ON A YOUNG NEWS
PAPER MAN.

ouent Defense of WOmanIind.
when Former Senator Hill De-
tended the Sex Against the Dis
paraging Remarks of n Politician.
H. G. Tricks Devotion to His Fam
lily, and How He RebuI<ed n Group
of MiIIfOnaires - Julian Ralph's
Queer Advertising DOdge-An At
termnth of the Hard Coal Strike Is
Late Express and Through Trains.
Instances of the Attachment of
New York's Mounted Policemen to
Their Horses.
New York. Dec. 13.-The late Thomas
q. Reed was a man OF whom hundreds
of good anecdotes have been told.
Many more are still to be related, and
here is one that, so far as known, has
not been in print before.
It seems that a young newspaper
man went to Mr.. Reed few years
ago in Washington, commissioned to
get some anecdotes of the statesman's
boyhood for a certain important New
England youths publication. Reed.
greatly to the green writer's gratified
amazement, asked him to breakfast
with him the next morning. OF course,
the young writer accepted the invita-
ton. and Mr.. Reed good-naturedly
gave him half dozen good stories of
his boyhood. The writer was de-
lighted.
When he had made his notes he
asked the statesman If he would like
to see the stories for revision before
they were printed. Mr.. Reed said he
would. The young writer hurried
away, wrote the anecdotes out in full,
had them neatly typewriter, and pre-
scented himself bright and early the
next morning at Mr.. Reeds hotel.
Mr.. Reed insisted on having break
fast with him again, and while he
himself slowly ate, read the manu-
script over, making a correction here
and there.
When he had finished he declared
that the young man had done very
well. indeed. Then he leaned back
and said in his characteristic draw1:
How much are you going to get
"They pay me a cent word" said
the young man.
How many words are there there?"
asked Mr.. Reed.
"A little more than 10000" replied
the young man.
"Then in a day and a half you've
made 500 out of me-" said Mr.. Reed,
rehectively. ut is not fair. I've had
to go to the trouble of living through
all those episodes you have written
about. I've had to go to the trouble
of telling you about them. I've had to
take the trouble of revising your man
uscript, and I've paid for two break
fasts for you. 1 don't see the justice
of it. You get all the pay and / do
most of the work"
All this was said. apparently, with
perfect seriousness. and the young
writer, being inexperienced in sthe d.
verse methods selected by great men
as a means of having fun. blushed.
stammered, and finally said, much en-
barrassed:
What do you think ought to do.
Mr.. Reed? Will 1t be fair If / give
you half? You know I've had to pay
my own expenses down here, and that
won't leave me very much"
The Speaker considered for a mo-
ment and then said that he reckoned
about half of the profits, over and
above the young mans expenses,
would be about right. He suggested
that the young man make out an ex-
pense bill then and there, so that they
would know where they stood. This
was done.
you know I've got one. too" said
Mr.. Reed. i've fed you twice and I've
given you two cigars. I'll make out
that bill, too. What's fair for the goose
is fair for the gander."
The young man gasped, but told him
to go ahead; so Mr.. Reed slowly wrote
it all down in due form. Then the
young man went away, feeling some
what dizzy, and wondering If Mr.. Reed
always did that sort of thing with
newspaper men.
AS soon as he got to his home city
he told his editor about. 1t. The editor
was as much surprised as the writer,
but the manuscript was counted up and
a check for exactly half it's value at
regular rates was forwarded to Mr.
Reed. The Speaker of the House of
Representatives, Solemnly sent back a
receipt, and the episode was believed
to be closed.
But about three weeks afterward Mr..
Reed passed through the city in which
the publication on which the young
man was employed had it's home office,
and he sent for him. The young man
went to him, of course and handed his
card to the hotel clerk. The clerk look
ed at it and handed him an envelope,
explaining that Mr. Reed had been
obliged to leave earlier than he had
expected to. but had left a note for
him.
The young man opened II and found
the check which had been sent to Mr..
Reed, Endorsed and made payable to
himself. and on half sheet of note pa
per, in Mr.. Reeds characteristic hand
was written:
81 just wanted to see If you could
take a joke. You can't. You ought
to be able to find more remunerative
employment on some British comic
journal. Come to see me any time.
I'll make better terms after this"
But the joke was not really on the
young writer. for his employers had
already made up to him the loss sus-
tained by reason of the check sent to
Mr.. Reed. He wrote a triumphant
letter to the statesman informing him
of this. and Mr.. Reed replied about as
follows:
This proves again what no one but
myself has ever believed; viz. that
Providence planned me for philan-
throphy, not politics. 1ust can't be
mean or otherwise than beneficial to
my fellow men. But, unfortunately.
there is only one state in this mighty
federation where the voters seem to
realize that fact. and malice has SLAM
derously whispered that the only rea-
son they send me 10 Congress Is TO keen
me out OF Maine as much as possible
II they had control Of the presidential
election. say the slanderers, they would
send me to the White House. merely