The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-03-07
JOSEPH BINC'S
SMART SON
THE TROUBLE HIS BRIGHTNESS
BROUGHT TO A GOOD FAMILY
Realistic Tale of Woe Told in Pa
thetic Accents by an Old Settler,

A Reaiistic Tale Of Woe Told in Pa
thetic Accents by an Old Settler.
1t all happened because copy of
Reise's Weekly VS. given TO sister
Mary by neighbor. There was
pretty colored picture on the front
page and the rest of the paper was
filled with stories that were Continued
In our next" anecdotes and advertise
ments. Our Johnny is bright lad if
his name is Bings and l do say it as
shouldn't, being Johnny's father.
There was one big advertisement in
the paper that our Johnny pounced on
like cat does mouse. 1t read:
Have you brains? Are you smart?
If you are brighter and quicker than
other people we will pay you. The
publishers OF the Household Comforter,
splendid monthly magazine for the
home, offer the following grand prize to
those who are bright enough to guess
this: Who is it? G-o-g- W-s-i-g-o-.
The first president of the United States
and often called the Father of his
Country The Household Comforter
will pay in cash prize of one thousand
dollars to all those who can guess the
above. Send your answers on en-
closed form, and all answers must be
accompanied by Soc in stamps for one
years subscription to this great maga-
zine OF civilization
Now Johnny was smart, and he knew
1t. He had often been told so. and
when he saw that advertisement he
made up his mind that the name so
dexterously hid was that of George
Washington. He was pleased with his
discovery and went to his ma and she
said that it might be Washington, and
Liza Jane said she thought so too. and
l KNOWN the boy to be smarter than
common, gave him 30c. so that be
could prove that he was right and
most likely win that thousand dollars,
leastwise a part of it. l think he
would have been satisfied with 500 or
so.
| Well. Johnny sent in his 30c., and
bye an bye got an answer saying that
he was right That tickled Johnny
nightly, but they also said that they
had received 100000 other answers
that were right, and that therefore
they had decided to divide the prize
and that Johnny's share was collar
; button, which was respectfully en-
closed. That was kind of hard on
Johnny, but he was glad to know that
he was right, and the magazine com.
. menced acomin. The reading matter
want much, but l tell you them there
: advertisements was caution. II
seemed to me wonderful the chance:
that people was THROWN away wher
they come right to their door every
, day. There was one piece that tolc
f how a woman made S6 day sellin
: wash boilers. There was pieces ir
2 there tellin' about medicine that was
!, sent free, by enclosing STAMPS, fol
everything, from making feller fee
like spring colt to curing chilblains
Ma, she sent sin for free recipe re
commended by recovered suffere,
that had suffered for twenty years
with lame back that was willin' tt
impart the secret of her cure to al
suffering humanity if they enclosed
y four cents postage, Ma got the recipe
;, 1t told about lot of stuff and said tina
q she could get it cheaper from them
d and so ma, she sent in dollar for
S bottle, but 1t didn't seem to help he
# much so she made up her mind that
g WASH t a lame back that allied her, an
/ tried new and wonderful cure TO
y rheumatic instld.
!, Liza Jane. she sent for book that
v told about, called "Woman Beautiful,
L. and went to bed for three weeks wit
e her face done up in some kind of paste
y but | don't know as it took any of tn
freckles OFF. | always did like tn
looks of Liza Jane and | told her sh
didn't need any truck to catch beau,
IS and that all she needed was to be Liz