St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1902-05-17
WHY DOES WOMAN CRY.
Shedding Tears May Be a Sort
of Luxury.


Of Luxury.
A husband of New York asked a
friend: 'Why does woman cry?'
The friend did not know, or pre-
tended ignorance. Being unmarried,
maybe he did not know. So he did
what the interlocutor of minstrel
show does when Bones or Tambo
fires a conundrum-repeated it for
information, emphasizing the first
word.
The husband did not make direct
reply. He became discursive, says
the New York Sun.
did you ever hear" he asked,
'why the Greek warriors of early
times cried with so much ease?'
The friend was more at home on
this than the other topic.
II don't believe as much Greek as
did," he replied. But now that you
plow up my recollection l believe
that Homer's heroes were tear gush-
ers, regular geysers, on the slightest
provocation, so we read. But l don't
see what that has to do with your
conundrum: Why does woman
cry?'"
Still sparring for time the hus-
band said: II have heard somewhere,
maybe at school, that the Greek war
riors whimpered and whined because
they did not know how to swear
"Fiddlesticks! The Greeks were
good fighters" replied the friend,
land even old Stonewan jackson re-
fused to argue about the assertion
a soldier who wouldn't swear
wouldn't fight"
Il think a woman cries because she
can't swear" said the husband at last
in blunt manner.
II have read somewhere" replied
the friend, "that Queen Anne COM
mended her soldiers for swearing.
The inference is that she preferred
that sort of thing from them to tears.
But is your answer that woman
cries because she can't swear, final?
Does it cover the case7"
There you have me-" confessed the
husband. ''But maybe if I tell you
the story you can help me out.
Il took my wife to the opera the
other night. Before l told her we
were going she had said that she felt
like crying. So far as knew there
was no reason for her agitating her
lachrymatory glands, and 1 said SO.
''She admitted that there had been
no discordant jangling of bells dur
ing the day. Perfect harmony every
where. Even the servants had been
anticipatory. She confessed all had
gone well, but still claimed her right
to spoil her face if she wished.
II suggested a postponement of the
briny act until after the opera.
Good wife that she is, she compla-
Gently acquiesced; but, woman that
she is, she inserted the proviso that
if she were inclined, after the en-
tertainment, to sob on her pillow
she was not to be molested. I agreed
to this, for I thought the opera and
supper and some old-time gallantry
on the side would either divert her
from her watery programme or
would cause her to postpone it until
after I had left the house on the fol-
lowing day.
''It was the usual New York hour
when we got home. Her maid took
her in hand and 1 took care of my
self; did not tarry; thanks to un-
impaired digestion and serene con-
science was soon asleep. l had an
called an hour ahead Of schedule
time in the morning.
Il went out quietly; before l got
ten feet away heard familiar voice
calling to me.
essay, my dear, I'm going to have
that cry out now. You won't care if
do not join you at breakfast"
"Well, what was the use? ! might
have said that was nice sort of
recollection to carry around all day
in my business. But it would have
done no good. She had planned the
sob and she was determined to have
it. Just like Mr.. Jingle's servant, Job
Trotter, in 'Pickwick.'
"But why did she want to cry?
Why deliberately lay out a pro-
gramme to that end? She assured
me she was not unhappy. 1 know she
W.T.. not.sssnshe is not stubborn or SUBJ
ject to mods ~ Can you think of any
reason wy she old -it?'
"Just O." s?;ssA his friend as he
flied two ls:.sses, ''she's woman"
Had Experienced 1t.
Sunday School Teacher-And when
Deliiah cut Samson's hair he became
mild as a lamb, and there was no fight
in him. Do you understand that,
Tommy?
Tomny-Wel, I know it makes yer