West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-11-27
THE AR!lONA KICKER.
A Few Bright and Breezy Paragraphs
Called Prom the Great Family
Newspaper.

-" ~'~~~y - - sP@5
Called Prom the Great Family
Newspaper.
We are not Dragging about a fall
boom in Giveadam Gulch, but
seven new saloons are building, and
an average of three men are shot
every week.
The price of lot ia the new
graveyard just opened is only 81.
and there is no danger OF any trust
getting hold Of the ten acre lot and
boosting things.
AS proprietor Of the Hellso Opera
House we are booking attractions
for the winter, and we believe our
readers will be pleased to learn that
we have secured "Uncle Toms
Cabin" by II different companies.
1t looks as if there would be some
thing doing.
We left our guns at the Office the
other day as we started for the court
house, and in the course of rs
minutes we were called a liar and
a scroundrel by eight different men.
The people around here seem to
have an intuition as to when we are
''heeled" and when not.
In the last three years this town
has had seven different city mar.
shals, and each and every one of
them has died the death of a hero.
The position is again vacant, and
the right party can step into SIS
per week as long as he lasts.
We shall take the lecture platform
this winter with three good things
to hand out and are now ready to
make dates. We can get away two
evenings per week and hit any town
within SO miles. With IA bullets
in our guns and perfect confidence
in ourself, we hope to get away
without serious trouble.
Lone Jack has been trying il
again and made another failure. /,
was an old tramp this time, and he
was perfectly willing to be lynched.
but after bungling things the vigil.
ance committee paid him a dollar
to get out of town and say nothing.
Some one at Tucson sends us an
unsigned letter containing threat
to take our lite before Thanksgiving
day. Come along, friends. When
we are not at the "Kicker" office,
we can be found at the postoffice,
and we are always ready to argue
thing and bring about an under.
standing.
This town has two men nance
Bill Foley, and every time we re.
mark that Bill Foley is a loafer and
nuisance both Bills buckle on
their guns and hunt us up. If one
was not as bad as the other, we'd
suggest change of names.
Old Jim Huds III went bear hunt
ing week ago, and as he was hai
drunk when he set out and hasn't
been heard of since the inference
is that bruin ran across good
thing and took it in.
Every attempt TO introduce the
game Of pingpong into this neigh
borhood has ended in somebody
getting shot, and the result is tina,
draw poker will be about the only
amusement INDUCED in this winter.
In that game shooting does not
come as a surprise.
Two or three weeks ago we stated
in this column that there wasn't a
physician in this locality who knew
enough of medicine to doctor a sick
cat, and the FIVE quacks are still
holding indignation meetings and
encouraging each other to do some.
thing awful by the way of revenge.
Our Office hours are all day and all
night.
Mr.. George Scott denies thai
he called us a would be dictator
and charlatan, as asserted by van.
our persons. Perhaps the fact that
we were holding a gun on him when
we asked the question had some
little influence on his answer. We
have no intention of trying to ru-
Arizona, but do not care to be con.
sidered second fiddle by the
| governor.