The Pascagoula democrat-star., 1902-03-14
UNCLE GORDON ON TWEEN
TIETH CENTURY CHRIS
TIANITY.

ONNAN OOnDJN ON TWEEN
TIETH CENTURY CHRIS
TIANITY.
Look here, Uncle Gordon, you are
not crazy, are you?"
"Duz lo0k like q crazy niger.
b0ss?" L,
what are you cntting up such an.
tics for then, walking almost twice
around the wagon to get to your
mules, and sitting on the gate to
driver"
BOSS, doan you know dat Oh mule
dar?"
"Well, what Is the matter with the
mule?"
"Why, boss, dat mule Is q sight,
dat mule Is. She's 6e ongodlies mule
In cra'shun. She's got sence like
white folks. No niger can't cum
foolln roun' her. Only las Chuseday
she kicked bres' pin of a town mer.
latter's shirt buzzum, and de Niger
done gone an' tho't he lost it. Why,
boss, when I goes to hitch dat mule I
has to put de harness on wid q pole,
an l has to get new pole cherry time.
Le'me play wild gunpowder an Christ.
mas shooters, but don't gimme 40
mule. I'm to fon' ob my family"
But Uncle Gordon, you ought not
to use such language. Aren't you a
member OF the church,"
"'Scuse me, bos, I didn't see you.
Use alters resentful In my comb
tiou afore white folks. But, boss, I
was ejasperated. l was alongside
myself. Did you cher work a mule:
Dare amt no livin' man nor deat
ghost dat can work q mule wldou1
now an' den gittin' to full TO- utter
ance. An den, boss, it amt no sin {,
cuss II you goes at It in richus fran,
ob min. OBJ course you can make sil
out oh IL. But II do seem to me da
it is sin not to cuss a mule like dat
Woa, dar, you shader o. perdishun.
"But you axed me II I wuz er mem
Der Oh de church. don't know
whedder l am or not"
"H0w is that, Uncle Gordon, why
don't you know"
"Well, I'll tell you, sab. 1t wuz
JUS like dis: jined de church Ia
good fait'. glib ten dollars t'ward
de stated gospil de fust few yeahs. an'
de church people call noe 'Brudder
Gordon;' den my bizness wuz not 81
good an I glib only dve dollars, an de
people call me 'Mistah Gordon Well
sab, den l felt berry poor, had sickness
In my family, an l didn't glib nothin'
TO- preachin'. Well, sab, arter dat
dey call me dat o. niggah Gordon,
an / left 'em, an hain't bin back to
see whedder dey turn me out or not.
II tell yO', boss, dare amt much
'ligion 10 dis world now. We hab q
heap oh 'fessors, but what do dey
'fesslon mount to? Dar amt no.
body Rwine to loan 'em money on It,
an II dey do dey sho' am got pore
Security. Boss, let me glib you a piece
oh advice: Don't you let no man hat
money on his 'ligion. II de 'ligion oh
de twentieth century amt no better
security from hell dan 1t Is from dis
honesty an seldshness an aberishous
ness an all de odder vices dat Ill uT
catelog ob presen'.day wickenness
den l,eaben am goin' to be might,
sparsely Inhabited an hell am gwin,
to be mighty full. A mans 'ligiol
don't keep him from cheatln'. D
biggest members ob dc church vii
hide behind de acknowledgements o.
de law an fail TO- all dey can gil
Den dey will nay dey creditors on wi
10 cents on de dollar an 60 into bi,
ness agin. 1t do seem dat succes
desc days comes thro' failures. o
cours dar am excepshuns. Now al
den you nn' oil roun Christians wha
amt believin TO- de Lawd an' q worl
In TO- de debil. But, boss, dey am
scarce as hens teeth.
''l'se tellln' you de Lawd's trul
boss. You needen' told me dat al d
'fessors ob 'liglon am Roin to heabef
II dey is den de Bibles all rong an
heaben Amt what IL am said ter be
De lice ob q man cussin' an drinki1
an cheatin' in heaben. Dis genera
shuu am goin' to Dc place prepared Il
dem. Why, II de Lawd wuz to com
an fergit TO bring de roll book VII
him he would hab an awful time git
tin bis 6ock toRedder TO- de triunl
phant entry oh De New Jerusalem
De sheep hab mixed wid do gotes .
long dat dey all look alike TO me
Dey all got hair on EN- and berry littl
wool. An II de LSwd am 'spectiu
wool at de areat a. nnal shcsrIu
den be am goin 70 BE- moutly disap
pinted."
a boy 10 ! man 10 the cocoon; yoi
! A mt knnv whnk n N e0ln0 n r.