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The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
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The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19

liceman's sleeve. Il don't want to
chase after my cat again. lie bon Dieu
knows had trouble enough In getting
her as 1t Is" And then he suddenly
let the lid fall away.
Instantly black cat sprang out and,
darting between the policemans legs,
disappeared. Pierre had placed the
basket on the ground In such a way
that when the animal sprang out the
nearest way of escape would be the
shipyard. His calculations were cor
rect, and when the officer of the law
turned all he saw was black tail dis.
appearing through the door In the wall
inclosing the yard.
The Erenchman's entire vocabulary
was then turned loose, and before he
had stopped his cursing In French and
English the policeman almost wished
he were as far away as the cat. He
honestly felt sorry that he had been SO
insistent. The Frenchman's distress
was so very great He went so far In
his remorse as to offer to return with
Pierre and help him find his cat again.
AT this, however, the clever little
fellow calmed down.
"Bon Dieu" he exclaimed. "Here am
1 blaming you because you did your
duty. IL my men did theirs half as WELL
I'd have the finest ship In the service
Your pardon, monsieur" offering his
hand with n winning smile and raising
his peaked cap. II admire you so
much now as l blamed you before. 1
will find my cat again, monsieur, and
then you must Join me In Il toast to
Americas gendarmes." And placing
the lid again on the basket, which had
fallen over to the ground, he picked it
up and walked quickly back to the
ship.
In half an hour he returned with a
smile ON his face.
1--WE got her." he said to the police
man. tapping the basket gently, "and a
pretty hunt / had too! I'll warrant
she won't get out again IL know it."
I'm very sorry, SIR, l put you to all
that trouble" said the officer, eying
the basket. well. I'll take your word
this time"
hut iibhti thut llEutt ltpllcu
Pierre ''Its never too late to right n
wrong. Now for the toast 1 do not
forget-eh?' he added, leading the way
to nearby saloon.
For some time the two men stood at
the bar with the basket at their feet.
The Frenchman's ready sallles and
stirring anecdotes OF the son kept the
| crowd around them roaring Then,
when he thought he had remained long
enough to avert any suspicion that
might linger in the officers mind, he
took the basket on his arm and, &C.
companied TO the corner by the blue
coated officer of the law, hailed pass
| ing car and was soon out of sight. In
the meanwhile the black cat frIsked
In the ships hold, for In the basket q
| fortune In diamonds was buried be.
meath some superfne tobacco.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
BREAD UPON
THE WATERS"
BY HOWARD WILLIAMS
Copyright, 1891, by \. s, Richardson

John Nash. retired manufacturer,
sixty.five years old and supposed TO be
still in possession of all his senses, did
a most foolish thing, | had been his
lawyer for six or eight years, but with
out asking a word of advice he fell into
the hands OF II sharper When he was
approached by promoter who WAS
striving TO float Il gold mine in Il South
American state and needed the inilu
encc OF his naAe, the old man was fiat.
tered aid listened 10 the vow of the
tempt,r. The sharper pretended that
he did not want any money from Nash.
The name of John Nash on Il proSpec-
tus as an Investor and shareholder
would be Il guarantee to others His
first aim. of course, was to convince the
old man that the mine In question WIS
good thing. He did this by lies,
forged reports and false documents.
This dupliclty could have been exposed
and the swndler sent about his bust
ness had Nash come to me or any other
lawyer but he determined to net ON
his own Judgment
In order TO give matters business
look, as he put It. the promoter, whose
name was philbrick, passed over 10000
shares to Nash at So per share and In
return required Il promssory note due
in six months. Then an agreement WIS
drawn up to the effect that the notes
should be invalid This was TO blind
other investors. In plain words, John
Nash sold his name for those shares
and sas assured over and over again
that his annual dividends would
amount to at least 100 per cent. BY
this explicit statement have published
my client not only as fool, but as the
willing confederate of Il swmdlcr, yet
/ have had to give facts TO make my
story clear.
Nash was made to believe that no one
else would suffer il he got this stock
gratis. The agreement was of course
made oat in duplicate, and the old man
deposited his copy in the safe. Phil
brick saw him at intervals, always
making the most hattcring reports
about the mine. and everything went
smoothly for Il few weeks. Then, six
weeks after the agreements were
drawn up, on some excuse or other
they We're compared. After the coil-
parison Nash returned his copy TO the
strong box, and that was the last he
saw or thought OF II for the next three
or four months; in fact, until Phllbrick
walked in upon him one day and asked
whether he would be ready to pay the
note at maturity. Then it TRANSFERRED
that the supposed contract was no con-
tract at all, but a vastly different docu-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
NE WAS A PAINTER.
Drunken Prisoners Excuse In n
New York Police Court.


1t Is characteristic of almost all the
prisoners except the DRINKS that their
chief concern is to secure delay. They
plead and beg for an adjournment,
which they know will only postpone
the inevitable for day or two, and
that although, through their Inability
to obtain bail, they will have to stay In
prison just the same. The most plausi-
Die explanation is that they all are
fatalists, always hoping that something
unexpected may turn up TO stave off
the impending catastrophe. The
DRINKS, ON the other hand, are more
eager to face the arbitcr of their fatcs.
knowing that nothing worse than fine
Is likely to befall them and that the
sooner 1t il imposed the sooner II may
be paid or served Off. And then there
Is the chance, II the magistrate Is in
good humor. that they may get away
unscathed at once.
A rule. although not seldom stlll
in their cups, they are loath to make
any discriminating admissions. No,
SIR" protested a man who kept himself
from falling over by holding on merry
ously To the bar; Pm not drunk,
cause no ones drunk who's not falling
all over himself" Excuses Of the most
wonderful kind. some of them really
Ingenious. others merely ridiculous, are
put forward when the futiiity of feign.
iEg Innocence has been discovered The
cleNcrcst explanation of that Kind that
| ever heard was advanced by man
who, when taxed with having dis.
played unnistakable signs OF intoxica-
ton, simply replied that he was n
painter by trade.
That has nothing TO do with your
condition. said the magistrate.
"Of course II has" rejolned the prls-
oner. II WIS painting barber pole
and kept on twisting after the stripes
until got SO dizzy that the cop thought
! was booty. Edward Blorkman in
Century
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
PIERRE'S {
! B. ACK CAT \
BY Florence Goodfellow N
,, Copyright, 1901, by Florence Goodfellow y
BY Florence Goodfellow
Copyright, 1901, by Florence Goodfello,
:. y - s..s 60 - ~ ~ ~. ,:S

Pierre Laroux's mouselke eyes
snapped and sparkled like two Jet
beads as he listened to the plan Levi
Arnold unfolded.
Mon Dieu!" he exclaimed. "'Tis too
good chance to let slip. You are
sure" he added cautiously, that the
scheme Is all right so far?'
Come to my place this evening, and
I will give you the diamonds. safe and
sound If they reach my clients hands
In New York within months time,
you will get your reward In gold-5o0
francs"
Good! I'll manage 1t somehow.
Just trust me-"
without doubt you've done SNUG
Cling before"
Pierre looked up sharply.
"There is no trickery In this, mon
sieur? IL thought there was. rest as
surcd you would not live to see your
plans either succeed or fall And he
drew his hands across his throat with
an expression so peculiar that his lis
tencr shivered.
mo; you have nothing to fear. Jer-
envy Stotts told me TO come to you.
You could not do better than to go TO
him about me-"
Jeremy Stotts is man to be trust
ed. IL he sent you. then tonight I'll
come for the diamonds How many
did you say there weref"
Enough for kings ransom. Re
member Pierre, IL you fall
Pierre shrugged his shoulders care.
lessly
give smuggled beforel There's nice
bit of superflne tobacco intend to get
across this trip. Oh, never fenr, mon
sieur; II any one can do It, II Is Pierre,
second officer OF the Ocean Queen.
AdeuH And, placing between his lips
the cigarette he had been rolling, the
little Frenehman waved his hand and
strolled away.
1t was II simple matter while on board
for the smugglcr 10 keep his diamonds
and tobacco concealed, but MS the Ocean
Queen drew nearer the American shores
his heart beat wildly between hope and
fear, and woven with all his daily du-
ties was the question. How, how
howW For TO Plerres ears had come
the rumor of fresh vigilance on the
part of the American authorities. Snug
Cling had become altogether too daring
and too frequent. Especially had some
tremendous deals In diamonds reused
the custom officials to action.
Before the ship had scraped her sides
against the pier, however, II plan had
been evolved by the Frenchman's
ready brain. Inspectors came and
| went about the ship, but the quick lit
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
Patience with EccentrIei,y.

Many Of the leading people in Eng
lish society regarded Thomas Carlyle
with feeling almost akin to reyerent
delight when he chose 10 behave like
an ignorant boor in their drawing
rooms. even taking his seat. II Is said,
unbidden In the presence of the queen.
This generation, however, has little pa
tience with such cccentrlclties.
1t was an English bishop who, when
the historian Freeman had worn out
his patience with his rudcncss, intro.
duced him to a waiting audience rs
"thc distinguished scholar that so adj
mirably describes and illustrates the
sayagcry OF our ancestors"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
lie wanted Quotations.

Mr.. III. b. Claflin, the founder of the
New York dry goods house Of that
name made strong effort to maintain
personal relations with his customers
He always encouraged buyers to come
to him for friendly talk, and as far
as possible he advised them concern
ing the matters In hand.
One day a customer called, and as
he entered the private office Mr.. Cfaf-
lin looked up from his desk and called:
Hello! How are you feeling today?"
Pm feeling fine, Mr.. Clanin. l new
er was better"
and how is the business"
ooh, that's different, Mr. Clafiin. l
think must have failure"
what! A failure? How Is that?
Haven't you made money!
Il used to- Mr.. Clatlln, but not now.
Business is bad, very bad, Mr.. Clafiin,
and think | must fail"
"Well, now. I'm sorry. But will 1t
be bad failure? How much will you
pay?"
"Ah, that is what l want to see you
about. How much are they paying
now, Mr.. Claflin?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19

An old custom once prevailed In q re-
mote place of giving u clock to any one
who would truthfully swear that be
had minded his own business alone for
year and day and had not meddled
with his neighbors. Many came, but
few II any gained the prize, which was
more difficult to win than the Dun
NOW fitch of bacon. Though they
swore Oh the four gospels and held out
their hands In certain hope, some hitch
was sure to be found somewhere, and
for all their asseverations the clock re-
manned stationary on the shelf, no one
being able to prove his absolute immu-
nifty from uDcalled for interference In
things not in any way concerning him
self.
At last young man came with a
perfectly clear record. and the clock
seemed as IL 1t was ut last about TO
change owners. Then said the custo-
dian, "Oh, young man was here yes
terday and made mighty sure he was
going to have the clock, but he didn't"
And why didn't he get itY whats
that to you" snapped the custodian.
''That's not your business, and-you
don't get the clock"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19

ute. Both were too surprised to move
or speak. The stranger was the first to
recover and he called out:
well, I'll be hanged. Say, now, If
I'd known II was you Id have kept
clear of the place. You bet your life
you're the last man I'd want to rob-"
$50 you are here to rob me?" said
as | looked him over.
ut looks like 1t. eh?" he laughed as
he pointed to the bundle. Say. It's all
a mistake. an I'm sorry"
'Who are your
Don't you remember? Take good
look ut me. Lord, but you did melt the
jury in that speech Of yournr'
You are Jimmy-Jimmy"-
Jimmy Blakesly. an they'd have
given me ut least five years In the jug
II you hadn't handled my case SO well.
l paid you for 1t all right, but I've al
ways had feclin' of gratitude over the
way you talked to the jury about my
old mother an because OF the tears you
shed, You worked the emotion racket
till you had the crowd cryin'."
Five years before had defended
Jimmy Blakesly on the charge OF bur
glary and got him off. II the press was
unanimous In saying that he ought to
have been sent to prison. that is not my
affair.
And in return for the emotion, as
said. sitting down.
But l told you 1t was all mistake.
How was to know you lived here 7
Don't make the mistake of thinkin'
Jimmy Blakesly's II duffer. I'll Just
put everything back as found 'em an
say good night, am We'll let 1t go at
that What's the matter, governor?
You're lookin' worried"
You will think 1t curious thing that
| did, and | agree with you. Although
l had caught Jimmy red handed, the
idea of giving him over to the law never
occurred to me. | was worried over
the Nash case and felt like talking to
down and told him all about 1t. He
caught on In great shape. and when
had given him all the points he said
why. governor. the old man ought
to be In Il crazy house. That mine
sharper has got him dead To rights.
No such case as mine was-no chance
to work In poor old mother ON n jury,
no tears ner emotion. You haven't one
chance In hundred"
Not one In a thousand"
'"That liz unless
UNLESS whutY asked.
Dunno, but-but II you'li excuse me,
governor | think there's little busl-
ness waltin' for me down street. On
the square, l didn't know this was
your joint. S'long."
He took his depai ture by the door In
stead of the fire escape. leaving me
dazcd and speechlcss Next morning
was an hour late at the Office and OH
my desk | found large envelope
which had come by messenger. 1t con
tanned not only the copy OF the agree
ment that had been filched from Nash
but his promissory note for 500, 600
The afternoon papers came out with
glarlng headlines. Philbriek's Office
his safe broken open and valuable pa
pers carried away. Nush was never
called upon to pay for his worthless
stock. and | have not seen Jimmy
Blakesly since that night. IL he ever
comes around again, ! must warn him
that he is clearly In line for scrape
where emotion will not save him.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
HE WORKED THE BANKER,
How a Clever Merchant KILLED Two
Birds with One stone.

Birds with One stone.
Recently wealthy merchant In Par.
Is who does an extensive business with
Japan was Informed that II prominent
firm In Yokohama had failed but the
name Of the firm he could hot learn,
though lac was most anxious to aseer.
tain whether Ii was the one with which
he did most of his business In that city
He could have learned the truth by
cabling. but instead he went to the
man, n well known banker. who had
received the news and requested him
to reveal the name of the firm to him
"Thats very delicate thing to do"
replied the banker, FOR the news Is
not official. and II gave you the name
l might Incur some responsibility"
The merchant argued, but in vain,
and finally he made this proposition:
Il Will give you" he said. "a list Of
ten firms In Yokohama, and Will ask
you TO look through II and then to tell
me. without mentioning any name,
whether or not the name of the firm
which hus failed appears In IT, Surely
you VIII do that for mc2''
Yes" said the banker "for IL do
not mention any name l cannot be held
responsible In any way"
The list was made. The banker
looked through II and MS he handed ii
back 10 the merchant said. tine name
OF the firm which has failed is there"
Then I've lost heavily" replied the
merchant. for that IL the firm with
which did business" showing him
name on the list
but how do you know that is the
firm which has faiIed?" asked the
banker in surprise
''Vory easily" replied the merchant.
"Of the ten names Oh the list only one
IL genuine. TINT OF the firm with which
| did business All the others are ficti.
tious"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19

tie officer entertained them so wittily
TINT they were more alive to the
Frenchnan's drollery than to their
search.
No struggled goods Of any descrip-
ton were discovered ON board the
Ocean Queen. and the officers OF the
government left Pierre with regret and
the determination to look up the jolly
little Frenchman the very next time
his ship came in.
A few days after the visit OF the in
spcctors Pierre, with huge covered
basket on his arm, stepped boldly down
the gangplanlS, across the shipping
yard into the street.
lie held one hand carefully on the lid
Of the basket, which was tied down ut
each side with heavy Irvine. Certainly
his appearance was not calculated to
quiet suspicion, and before he had
passed the street Il policeman touched
him on the shoulder.
Excuse me, slr,9 he said, "but |
shall have 10 look into that basket"
Look into my basket" exclaimed
Pierre in well feigned establishment.
"And for whyY' he added, holding the
lid down more firmly.
"Our orders sir"
'But my cut is In the basket, and she
will get away"
Il must see for myself" replied the
officer. Il can't take your word for
anything like that"
At this the Irrenchman became an
cry. His eyes smoldered like redhot
Goals
~ tell YOU" he almost screamed, TITS
only cat, and she will run away from
me, and I brought her all the way
from Ia belle France for my mother
IN law"
Il can't help it IL you brought her all
the way from the moon, I've got to see
what's In that basket"
''But, | tell you, it's cat, and il
open the basket ever SO little she Will
run, and monsieur knows mothersin-
law Not so?" he asked, with a wry
face.
"Come! Unite those cords. I'm bound
to inspect that basket"
with rueful countenance Pierre
carefully united the strings. The Off
Ger reached out his hand to lift the lid.
Careful, carefulr' exclaimed Pierre,
placing a restraining hand on the po-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
PICTURESQUE BRITTANY.


market scene In This Quaint
French Province.
Brittany Is land where the peasants
till the earth in Zouayc trousers, torca-
dor jackets covered with arabesque
embroideries and green waistcoats
around which run lines of crimson.
The women wear short red skirts,
great medici collars and colts that fiut-
ter about their heads like the wings of
doves. From beneath the points of
their black caps the children gaze at
you with wide eyes full of the curiosity
of animals.
These people live In houses built of
sculptured granite and sleep in open
work closets carved like the mouchara-
bieks of Egypt.
In spite of the Breton Interiors" and
Returns of the Fishermen" with
which painters swamp the market this
race Is still unknown or mlsundcr-
stood, for they should be seen not In
paintings, but in their homes, in their
old time streets, ON market days and
when, In fair time the tents are pitched
In the village market places.
Fiery little horses draw to market
fish, fine vegetables and all the early
produce of Roscoff. They are spread
out upon the sidewalk. Chickens
cackle; goats bleat; pigs, tied by the
leg. strain toward the vegetables, snllI-
ing at the fresh greens,
Farmers In sabots, carrying great
blue umbrellas under their arms, with
the two ribbons of their felt hats float
Ing down their backs pick their way
among the Oman china displayed on
the eapaelous soup turccns,
cider jugs and plates covered with
painted flowers and grotesque figures.
The peasants converse with but few
gestures: they bargain In guttcral
tones
These taciturn people forget them
selves in the barrooms ON fair days.
The tayerns nrc full of noise. You
may hear the sound of an accordion
and the plnintive note of the blniou "a
sort of bagplpel. leading monotonons
dances.
Into the harbor come boats laden
with fish; other boats go out. The
fishermen are full of business. Next
week will occur the departure for the
new country. There arc women who
weep.
Above all this agitation the smoke of
the village chlmneys mlngles with the
great white clouds The quiet sea mir
rors the sun.-Artlst Castalgne In Con
turV
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
LITERARY TREASURES.
Some which Have Been and. Some
which May he Lost tn View.


which May he Lost tn View.
The world, we have been assured
time and again, knows nothing of It's
greatest men. Perhaps II Is equally ig-
nprant about Its greatest books. Are
we quite sure that the idols In our lit
crary pantheon are arraycd in their
due order of precedence The rules of
precedence change, and who shall as
sert that those prevalent at any given
time are the final ones? But, above
all, are we quite certain that there may
not be II notable work of genius lying
unnotIced and unknown amid the
wrecks OF the river Of time, waiting
only for some lucky accident that shall
reveal II in al It's beauty to nm aston
ishcd world?
Such accidents with such results have
been frequent In the history of the
past. Indeed such accidents have pre-.
served or lave revealed to the world
no insignificant proportion of It's now
acknowledged masterpieces.
The books of the Bible themselves
have experienced the nairowcst cs-
capes from what might have resulted
In their total loss. The most notable
example IL that Of Deuteronomy, which
disappeared from the Jewish world for
over n century The story of It's re-
discovery by the high priest IIcZcliah
during the reign Of good King Josiah
is set forth In the Old Testament.
Shakespeare wGs practically forgot
ten I'm the DAVIS Xbnn Addison wrote
his Account Of the Greatest English
Poets" with never Il mention Of the
name OF the very greatest, yet II was
shortly aftcrward That Shakespeare
WAS resuscitated.
Fitzgcrald's "0mar Khayyam' and
Blnckmore's Lorna Doone" dropped
stillborn from the press and later won
n sudden popularity by accident. WI
liam s. Walsh In Era Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19
Look Ont for Fever.

Billousness and liver disorders at
this season may be prevented by
cleansing the system with DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. These famous
little pills do not grippe. They move
the bowels gently, but copiously, and
by reason OF the tonic properties, give
tone and strength to the glands. Geo.
NJ. Shamalia.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-19

DO you mean to say that you don't
want railway through Crimson
Gulchf" asked the astonished sur
yeyor.
"Thats exactly what | mean to say,
young Teller" answered Broncho Bob.
"Cactusvllle got railroad. didn't It?
And they hadn't II two weeks before Il
couple OF men won half the money In
camp. got cold feet, took the train and
was gone forever and ever. Crimson
Gulch amt takln' any such chances"
--Washlngt0n Star.