The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1902-11-08
THAT REMINDS Me-

Joe O'Gorman, the capital Irish come
dfan-a real Irish comedian, and not an
impossible creature, flourishing a shille
lagh-has been singing songs, dancing and
telling stories at the Alhambra in Lon
don. Mr.. O'Gorman has an imaginary
friend. Flanagan, in the wings, and
Flanagan is the hero of every tale. It
once happened that Flanagan was in de-
cidedly low water" so he asked a cir
Gus proprietor to give him work. Our
largest lion died last week. said the lord
of the arena, but we kept his skin, and
If you like to get into it and be shown as
real live lion you can have the job.
Flanagan agreed. At the first show the
circus proprietor stepped into the cage
and said: Ladies and gentlemen, to
prove the docility of this roaring lion,
I'll order him into the same cage as a
feroeious tiger" Flanagan protested, but
the circus proprietor threatened to run
agan was driven into the same cage as
the tiger. He fell upon his knees and
cried, Spare me- Then the ferocious
tiger jumped to his feet ana answered:
eye needn't be afraid O. me. Sure, I'm
an Irishman myself"
.
Lamb once said to Martin Burney,
fellow whist player (whose hands were
was trumps, what a hand you would
have" This reminds one of the story of
Webster's schoolboy days. He was up
for punishment one day, and as the
ferule he said: Dan, if you will show
me another hand in this room as dirty
as this one, I'll let you off" Dan at
once stuck out his other fist.
%
The late John E. Kenna, United States
senator from West Virginia, used to de-
light his Washington friends by his many
''darkey storieS," says the New York
ing at the White Sulphur Springs, where
colored walters serve the guests:
'One evening when dining at the White
Sulphur, chocolate eclairs were passed at
desert When they reached me started
to help myself to one, but found it stuck
fast to the plate, so forcing the fork un-
der it l again tried, but it still held
firmly. Looking up, 1 was somewhat
with laughter by hearing the waiter say:
"Scuse me, sab, but OATS my
thumb. -
The Baer went over the mountain,
The Baer went over the mountain,
The Baer went over the mountain,
His hard coal mines to see,
He found them full of water,
He found them full of water,
He found them full of water,
And leaking awfullee.
The Baer went back to his office,
The Baer went back to his office,
But uttered no laments.
He merely raised the price of coal,
He merely raised the price of coal,
He merely raised the price of coal,
Another 90 cents.
Chicago Tribune
%
They were newly married, and were
calling upon one of the friends of the
bride who had been particularly pleas
ant upon the occasion of their wedding.
The bridegroom, apropos of nothing,
began to talk about phrenology, and told
how his wife had discovered two very
prominent bumps on the back of his
head. He was proud of them; so was
she, and she passed him around that the
host and hostess might feel the bumps
and know their existence. Then she eX-
planned:
MY book on phrenology says that they
mean good memory and generosity"
1t was evident that she was proud of
the facts so was he. But the host. being
Of an inquiring turn of mind, wished to
satisfy himself, so he got down phre-
biological work from one of his library
shelves, and after much labor found the
bumps on the chart. Turning to the
notes as he read, seriously at first, then
unsteadily. The bride became suspicious,
but was game, and said:
Read it out loud. Please do" And
the host read.