The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-17
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Soilioquy.-'This is a hard world !.
said Deacon Flapp, as he stepped off
me car backward. = Chicago Daily
News.
so closely?" Small Boy-"Mamma said
that your hat was enough to make a
dog laugh. and l wanted to see him do
it."-Tit-Bits.
Old Mr.. Riche-"What proof have
that you will make my daughter good
husband" Suitor-"Look at your own
bank account, sir."
In the Way.-"What's the matter
with Walkers? run down." "Over.
work. mo, under automobile."-
Philadelphia Press.
Il had proposal last night and re.
fused it." you are always thinking
OF the welfare OF others, aren't you.
dearT'-Ohio State Journal.
At meeting of engine drivers the
following toast was offered: "To our
mothers-the only faithful tenders, who
never misplaced witch."-Tit-B Bits.
So He Waited.-Stylish Lady Visitor
Ito small boy. while waiting for hostess
to come down)-"What is the matter
with Fido, that you are watching him
A Notwithstanding do you have
iron bars in front Of your kitchen win
dows and dOOrY Shemster-"To pre-
vent the escape of the cook" Brook
lyn Life.
Miss Eastside-".That is a lovely
gown, but haven't seen it before? 2"
Miss Westside-"No, think not; l have
only worn it at very few smart affairs
this season."
Her System He-"Mrs. Wise seems
to understand how to manage her hus-
band pretty well. She-"Yes. She
lets him have her own way in every
thing."-Life.
Her Charity.-Jack-''Was the church
garden party success" Julia-"Well.
l worked hard enough. ate ice cream
with every young man on the grounds"
Detroit Free Press.
SThe Joneses, hear. have left town
suddenly. Have you heard anything
to explain their disappearance" "Yes;
l believe 1t was due to their trying to
keep up appearances"
Alas--Willy lover his natural history,
Papa, what species of animals in
this country are becoming rapidly ex-
tinctr' Papa-"Buffaloes and naval
heroes. my son."-Puck.
Suburban-"This is shameful! I'll
not stand that cooks insolence a mo-
ment longer. AS soon as | get to New
York I'll ring her up on the telephone
and discharge her."-Judge.
"Who is the hero Of this piece?'' asked
the man who was coming out Of the the
alter. And the manager thoughtfully
replied: 1.-The man who Is putting up
the money."-Washington Star.
Minnie yrtylla is really and truly
our champion golfer" Mabel-"Non-
sensev Minnie-"Oh, yes she is. She
has never yet made round of the links
without getting proposal. Elk.
There are always two political par
ties: not so much because there are two
sides to every public question. as be-
cause there are two sides to every Of
fee. viz, the inside and the outside
Life.
Her First Thought.-Mr. Reeder-"I
see by the newspapers the Adventists
nredict that the world will come TO an
end next Friday" Mrs. Reeder-"Oh,
dear. and have nothing ut to wear
Ohio State Journal.
"And SO You have little baby at
vour house. Is it boy or a girlT asked
a neiehbor. Mamma thinks it's boy.
but I believe it'll turn out girl. It's
always crying about nothing" an
swered the little boy.-Tft-Bits.
Exclusiyeness to Be Maintained
Mrs. De Styles entertain
ments very exclusive" Pong-"Weii.
should say so; she has just made APP
nI;cation to have the conversation OF her
guests copyrighted. "-Baltimore Her.
aid.
Jack-"It is mighty hard to be the son
>, self-made millionaire Tom
.why so?" Jack-"A fellow can de,
dido whether TO go into business ana
Two nm 10 his fathers reputation. or go
into society and live it downtown
Topics.
.see here" said Colonel Winders' an
ur,,y "vour reporter promised to print
IN ! said at the banquet last nigaI
..well?r replied the editor. We'll ne
printed only few lines ai'nousn my