The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-07-19


small for his head.-Puck.
with a String: Little Johnny-My
paw's a Republican. What's your
paw? Little Georgie-He says he's in
dependent, but nav outlines his Tor
eign policy-Chicag Record-Heraid-
Blonde Bridesmaid-The ushers have
MT seated your Aunt Maria with the
family. Other Bridesmaid (sister TO the
bride)-No, she sent only a pickle fork
Life.
wife-How could you give that cook
a recommend after she drank up All
your best whisky? Husband merely
said that she had a great deal that was
good in her.-Life.
Possible: Uncle stephen-sarie, here's
a piece bout how they're teliegrafhn
,tbout wires. By jinksi woodent be
'sprised 70 hear next thet they're send
in letters 'thout postage stamps-
Judge.
premature Inquiry: Miss Gushing
ton-What do you consider the ten best
books. Mr.. Sect? Con Sect (the young
ALPHABETICALLY, I've only written six
books so far, You know.-Philadeiphia
Press.
An Awkward Deadlock: Why are
they not speaking?" They quarreied
about which loved the other the more"
..yyelr?' And now each is afraid to
give in for fear of offending the other.
Brooklyn Life
Preparing for the start: Mercy!
where did you get all the books?"
Why. I'm trying TO read UP few OF
them so as to know what to take away
to read when 1 leave for my summer
vacation. Cleveland Plain Dealer
The thoughtful Girl: Madge-Doily
is going somewhere with that young
man this evening. Marjorie-Yes, going
to sit with him in the hammock. Right
after dinner she went upstairs and put
on a dark shirt waist.-Portland Ore
gonian-
Kelly's View: Hogan-would yez
loike t see King Edward coronated?
KelIy-Would Oh? Glory be, Troth.
Ord loike Z see him coronated an his
ashes trun on a shlippery pavemint in
front av a Saint Pathrick's day pa
rade.-Judge.
Curate-why don't you come to
church, John? Come next Sunday. will
you? John-'Ow long do it last. EUR?
Curate-Oh, not very long. About an
hour or so. John-Lor bless yer. EUR.
it bain't worth while changing yer
shirt for 'tt-Sketeh
Miss Fairfax-Good mawnin. Aunt
Caroline. Why amt you washin, now
adays2 Aunt Caroline removing her
pipe from her mouth)--Well, you see.
Miss Clara. Is bin out o. wuhk so long
dat now, when I could wuhk, ! finds Is
done los nah taste 70 it--Judse.
Inherited the Business: "orn des-
ended from Brian Boru. ma'am. Ord
hoy We know declared the naughty
Mrs. Fitz Clancy rs that all, in
dade?" replied AIRS. Casey, the humble
lady of the corner fruit stand: faith
Ofm descendant of Eve. the first APP
pie woman. ''-Philadelphia Press.
Really Ratified: Did you feel at all
nervous when you got up TO read your
essay on The Essentials of the Essen
TALLY Essential before that crowd ?"
Yes" the sweet girl graduate replied:
7 was awfully upset. I had noticed
just as I walked out upon the stage,
that my left shoe string was united -
Chicago Record Herald.
Willing to Oblige: See here said
the kindly old lady. IN give you
dime if you'll promise not to go right
off and spend it in that saloon on the
corner" All right, lady" replied
Thirsty Tanques. "if you got a grudge
agin dat booze-jint I'll cut II. I'm
willin' ter paternize any rum shop yer
interested n."-Philadelphia Press.
Fate: Once there were two beautiful
white eggs laid side by side in a nice
new nest. A great big man gathered
them UP with his rough hands and sold
them TO grocer. And one little egg
was a good little egg. and went into
an angel cake, but the other little egg
was very very bad little egg, and got
mashed on an actress.-Town Topics.