davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
He Knew the Sex.

Young. Wife, don't see why we
can't get plain cook. I have adver-
tised for one daily for more than two
weeks.
Observation-Disclosures for good
looking one, my dear, and you'll have
a dozen applicants the first dash out
OF the box.-Chicago Dali, News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Why FidO Didn't Interre-o

Mrs. Jones-Just think of it! That
fellow came in and actually stole the
clock right off the mantelpiece.
Mrs. Brown-And your dog was in
the very same room.
Mrs. Jones-Yes, but that didn't
count. Fido is only watch dog,
you know.-Boston Transcript.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Properly Named

Mamma-Are we going to have dere-
lict pudding for lunch? asked> the
Boston boy.
"Derelict pudding? Why, what do
you mean, Emerson?" replied the
mother.
Il mean what those New Workers
call floating island, mamma."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
The Fashion of the Day.

Innocent Little Thing-Oh, dear!
oh, dear! I wish I knew what to do.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures the mat
ter, dear?
Innocent Little Thing-Why two
men want me to marry them. I am
awfully in love with both of them,
and don't know which to have.
Mrs. Upter-Date-(without a mo-
ment's hesitation)-Marry the poorer
of the two, my dear, and then when
you are tired of him you can run
away with the rich one.-Ally Sloper.
Her Past.
O. don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben
Bolt,
Sweet Alice, whose hair was so red?
She's singing in comic opera now,
With voice fit to wake the dead.
Chicago Tribune.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
:. "A Distresslnx Case.

81 see that DR.. Rainsford saws:
Don't marry on less than $40 a week.
That lets me out"
"How SOP"
"The girl I want to marry can't
earn that much" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.>
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
The Epitaph.
We criticise him living,
But after he is dead
Our praise is so high-sounding
1t goes above his head.
-RrnnklVn Life
The EDitaDh.
A Bonanza.

Briggs-My veterinary was greatly
pleased with that horse you sold me.
Griggs-What pleased him about the
animal?
Briggs-Why, he discovered 10 new
diseases he had never suspected be-
fore-Town Topics.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Improvement.

"Don't you Think" inquired of the
prosperous-looking man with the
heavy mustache and watch chain, who
was dressed in the 14-inch balk line
suit, that the world is getting bet
ter?"
"Sure!" he replied, with the frank
enthusiasm of success. Not only bet
ter, but easier."-Puck.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Not an Enthusiaaf,

'sVhat is your favorite musical in
strument?"
1.-THE jewsharp," answered Mr.. Cum
rox. 'You can always get far enough
ayfrom that not to hear it.''-Wash.
ington Star. .5s:. .....1
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21

About 600 freeholders IN the west.
ern part OF Vestefbotten have petit.
toned the government for a law
against the acquisition of land by cor
pOrattons.
Baron Gustaf famm, who recently
resigned as stakeholder of Stockholm,
has accepted the position of cashier
of the Stockholm branch of Skane's
Enskilda bank.
The executors of the late Mrs. Co.
tilda Furstenberg of Malmo have
found that the assets of her estate ex-
coed the liabilities by the amount of
$1,199,295.S1.
The riksdag has voted $4,000 for
the geodetic survey of Spitzbergen.
A new stock company is going to
build whisky distillery in East Vem-
merlof, Skane,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
The S0fa SaE

eve have come to you for cook, :"
said Mr.. Googoowise, who had
dropped in with his wife.
YES replied the employment
agent; ''do you want a plain or
fancy cook?''
"Plain," said Mrs. C., promptly,
1.-The plainest you've got" -Philadel-
phpia Press.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Her Way of Putting 1t.

Lady Tin want of cook)-Why did
you leave your place?
Cool-I couldn't stand the dread
full way the master and mistress used
to quarrel, mum.
Lady-What did they use to quarrel
about?
Cook - The way the dinner was
cooked, mum.-Girl's Companion.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Sure Denenciaries.

The climate is wondrous thing.
1t never comes to terms
With human beings; but somehow,
It's always good for germs.
-WashingtOn Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Many Small Fish.

The game wardens who have been
gathering pike eggs at Otter Tail
lake during the past two weeks I'M
der the superintendent of Chief
Game Warden Samuel +. Fullerton,
finished their labors at that point
Although the catch was not as large
as was expected, a great many eggs
were secured, and there will in con-
sequence be about eighty or ninety
million young fish to distribute
among the Minnesota lakes
In about ten days j. NJ. Marty will
begin the distribution and will con-
tinue it until all the young fry have
been disposed of.
Among the bodies of water which
are to be enriched are Minnetonka
and White Bear, Forest Lake, Pulaski
and Buffalo, Minnewashta, Madison,
Detroit, Deerwood, and in fact all the
lakes except those situated in the ex-
treme northern counties of the state
which are already we'll supplied with
fish.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
DENMARK.

The everlasting SALE is the way
a Norwegian paper puts the negotia-
lions about the disposal of the DAN
lsh West Indies. The following ca
blegram indicates that the matter
Will not be disposed of for months
or even years:
Copenhagen. April 29.-The bill pro-
vldlng for the sale of the Danish West
India islands to the United States as
amended by the landsthing. came up
1or discussion in the folkething to-
DAY, with the result that the party in
the majority submitted proposal as
follows: The riksdag approves the
cesslon, on condition that the inhabi-
'tants of the islands declare in favor
thereof by plebiscite, similar to the
one taken in 1867" The folkething,
by vote of % to Z, adopted the ma
Jorlty proposal, submitted today. The
landsthing is expected to agree to the
TO Settings decision, with some mi
nor notifications regarding the de-
tails of the plebiscite The anti-sale
element is now devoting its attention
to influencing the voting of the ISL
anders themselves. 1t is known that
one influential person has already
mailed thousands of anti-sale circu-
lars to the island of St. Thomas.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Indicted.

Detectives James C. Howard and
John E. Morrissey are the first men,
bers of the Minneapolis police depart
ment to be called to the bar of justice
by the grand jury. They were ar
raigned before Judge Simpson on three
indictments each, charging them with
asking for bride, agreeing to receive
bride and finally receiving bride.
Although the charges grow out of the
same transaction, the men have been
indicted separately and will be tried
separately.
Both men pleaded not guilty after
the indictments had been read.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
ADprel Ii enSiOns.i

Il am very much afraid,' said the
man with the melancholy manner,
'that this prosperity will not last"
"Well,' answered the genial person,
my friend, the professor, says that
one of these days the entire solar sys-
tenn is going to smash. But we might
as well enjoy ourselves while we can"
Wa shington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
SCANDINAVIAN NEWS
interesting Notes From Across the
Ocean,
HAPPENINGS IN THE FAIHERLAND,
sEAne1pal Events That Have Occurr>a
I" the Old Countries About tho
North Sen Within a Week
or So Just Past,
FINLAND.

mo senate of Finland has voted q
subsidy of $36O,OOO to Dahlstrom g.
lex Tor running three steamers reg
ularly between Hango, Finland, and
I1oll' England, for the next ten years.
Each steamer shall have special rooms
Tor carrying at least one hundred
tons of butter on each trip.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
VfCiNSitude.

Success will oft play
But the prelude of sorrow;
The fad of to-day
Is the jest of tomorrow.
Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21

Mistress of the House-Bridget, do
you think that policeman who calls
here so often means business?
Bridget-Yis, mum; I think he do.
He is begun to complain about my
cookin' already.-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
MAKING MATTERS WORSE.

She-l don't care what you say, l
will have the last word!
He-Ah!-if it were only the last I
should be happy.-Ally Sloper.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Double Murder.

Julius W. Weight, a travelling man,
shot and killed Miss Ruth Welch, Of
Verndale, and then blew out his own
brains at the Parker hotel, Minneap-
oils. Unrequited affection is believed
to have been the cause of the double
tragedy. The young woman's death
was not instantaneous. She expired
nthe patrol wagon that was convey
ing her to the hospital. Her murderer,
who turned the gun upon himself i'm
mediately after shooting the woman,
fred bullet into his mouth and fell
to the floor dead.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21

The Winning Hold,
We all learn to hold a pen
When We are very young,
But he's the cleverest of men
Who learn to hold his tongue.
Philadelphia Press,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21

He-I understand this boarding
house is kept by a young widow.
She-Yes; I'm the one.
He-Why, you're GO years old!
Shelves, but I've only been a widow
a week.-Chicago Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
News Notes.

Sheriff Dreger has been instructed
by Governor Van SAINT to prevent any
finish fights in Hennepin county. The
governor cites in his letter the COM
mon reports of several "sparring
Matches to finish held at various
times lately before three Minneapo-
lis clubs.
Thomas E. Colahan of GAINESVILLE,
was before Commissioner Eberhart on
the charge of. sending an obscene let
ter to his wife. He pleaded not guilty
and was bound over.
Henry Nussloch, Jr., who shot and
killed Arthur Pabst and who was
exonerated by the coroner's jury was
married about six months ago to Miss
Emma Mueller, and they settled
down in a little home in Lewiston.
The first automobiles of the French
racing type will be seen in Minneapo-
lis next month. ALI Pillsbury, Hal
Watson and G. F. Piper have ordered
new machines, which will be deliv-
cred during June.
Building operations in St. Paul are
dead: All unions affiliated with the
Building Trades Council Of that city
were called out. a..
The Flour City Ornamental Iron
Works Of Minneapolis will furnish the
ornamental iron work for the new
state capitol. The contract was
awarded yesterday afternoon by the
commission upon the company's bid
of $33,2so. - s.S-'t
Congressman Frank M. Eddy re.
turned to Washington after an alb.
sence of two months and a half in
Norway. Mr. Eddy issued press
statement to the effect that he will
not Ibe a candidate for denomination
Scarlet fever has broken out in a
yirulent type and the schools were
closed at Hinckley. zs
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21
Fiction vs.. Facts.

"Another good man gone wrong"
Folks say. but no doubt,
IT'S only one more bad man
Folks have just found out.
Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21


put on trial at Faribault for the MUIR
der by cremation of Miss Bertha Pei
ton early on the morning Of June 4,
1901. An attempt was made to try
Hartley at Mantorville, but he al
legged prejudice and secured change
of venue from Dodge county to this
county.
Two decisionsimportant to Mime
apolis were handed down by the su-
preme court. One was in the case OF
the city against T. B. Janney and
others, the suit involving the title to
the Exposition building. The court
confirms Mr.. Janney's title to the
property.
John, Lick, the deputy game war
den for Rice county, arrested four
men for catching fish with nets in
Cedar lake, about six miles west OF
this city: Each was fined $25 and
costs. Two paid their fines. and the
other two were given sixty-day sen;
tence in the county Jail.
j. Adam Bede now stands alone in
the race for the republican congress
sional nomination in the Eighth dis
trict. o. D. Kinney announces that
under no circumstances will he ven
ture into the field. .
To give to the Minnesota state fair
a practical educational value has been
one of the leading principles of the
management for> some years. Every
effort has been made to SO arrange
the exhibits as to help the farmers by
bringing out new ideas in their line
and to inform the city people and
visiting strangers Of the resources
and capabilities of the state. =
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-05-21

the cabinet of April, 1884.
The workingmen of Kristiania are
preparing an address of sympathy
which is to be- forwarded to the
Swedish worl<ingmen who are agita-
ting for general suffrage.
Stathelle went dry. The number of
persons entitled to vote was ESQ, and
1853 of them voted against the SAM
lag (saloon). 1.-The village reverbe-
rated with cheers"
Health Inspector Thaulow has been
instructed to attend the Red Cross
conference in St. Petersburg.
The Kristiania Mechanics labor
union may withdraw from the social
istic labor association, and other
unions are expected to follow suit.
The regular appropriation for the
navy is only about 100000, or one
half of the annual appropriations
many years ago. The redpction-is due
to the fact that the: storthing is COM
PEELED to cut down the expenses
somewhere. a. There are many who
think it is dangerous to pinch at this
particular point. -. !
Twenty persons in Egersand were
| poisoned by old cheese Two of them
are seriously sick. ~ - ~ ,v>f.
The Copenhagen royal theater will
celebrate; Rjornson's 10th birthday,
Dec. g, 1902 by representing Il his
Beyond His Faculties" Biornson
has answered that he will consider
the attention an honor: F. IL.
! one of The, inmates st the Trond-
HEM poorhouse, an s1-year-old wo-
man, came too close to the Stove
when she was putting in wood and
her dress. caught fire. She was 50
.badlys burnt that she 5dieds:in few
i hours.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15
Hayes TiIden.

There are still a few citizens
in Monroe City who remember
the TiIden-Hayes campaign,
the celebration here of Tildens
election and the count when 2
beat 8 and Hayes was declared
president. Adrian Britt, at
that time editor of the Jackson.
vllle-Fla-Uuion, held the key
to the situation and sold out to
the Republicans. From an in.
huential man he went to the
bow vows completely, pacing
all the gaits and was convicted
and served two terms in the
penitentiaries. He died in
Chicago Il lew days ago and
was buried in potters field. He
served the terms for robbing
mail boxes.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15

1t takes good woman to
make a bad woman hate her.
An engaged girl never
changes the color of her hair
ever night.
The woman with an absent
husband has no paddock on her
fancy.
What Il woman doesn't tell
about herself causes many a
marriage.
The seasoned love OF a twice
made widow has its reminiscent
periods,
A widow just in mourning
has il year TO study the colors
that will match her better than
the old ones.-New York Press.
Try the new remedy for costlveness, Chamb-
orlain's Stomach aud Live Tablets. Every box
guaranteed. Pr,ee, 26 cents, For sale by
Wood & Umstattd.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15

a weeks trip of unusually hard
work. And | am writing this
letter to rest me up some so
that [ can attend TO the many
matters which await we here.
Now goa ask about the Dis
peusary? It is quite different
from the drug store. Medicine
is kept in large quantities but
is never sold to customers At
certain hours each dey except
Sundays, the Doctor is in the
Dispensary to see patients OF
all kinds. A uniform charge Of
five cents in silver is made for
each one seen. The Doctor
prescribes for the sickness
or sora aud himself prepares
and gives the medicine to the
patient all for the five coats.
You see it is distinctly charity
work. Now l cannoi write
IN ore. Love to all.
j. II. PROCTOR.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15

BillLoLsness IL n condition characterized by
stomach is debllitated, the liver torpid, the
bowels oonstipated, There Is a loathing OF
food, pains In the bowels, dizziness, coAtad
or partly dlgested food and then OF bile.
Chambeflain's stomach and Liver Table cts ally
the disturbances of the stomach and dreate q
10 q healthy action and regulate the bowels
Try them and vow are certain 20 be much
pleased With the result For sale by Wood a
Umstattd.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15
Welcoming Cough.

A woman who has had experience with this
disease. tells how to prevent amy dangerous
consequences from II. She says: Our three
children took whoopiug cough last summer,
our baby boy being only three months Olds,
and owing to our giving them Chamberlain s
Cough Remedy, they lost none of their plump.
ness and came out in much better health thHn
other chill lrCn parents did not use this remedy.
Our oldest little girl would all Justify for cong h
syrup between whoops-Jesse Pinkey Hall,
Springylle, Ala This Remedy is for sale by
Wood 4 Umstattd.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15
Gabe fuckers Remarks.

You may notch 1t in de palms
as mighty resIsy plan.
TO make your judgement by dc
cloes dat kivcrS up man;
For | hardly needs To tell you
how you often comes across
A ffty.doIlar saddle on a'twen'
ty dollar boss;
An, wukin in de low grOun ; you
disIiver, as you go,
Dat de fines shucIS may hide de
means nubbin ia Il row.
| think Il mhn has got Il mighty
slender chance for hebben
Dat holds on to his piety but
one day out o. seben;
Dat talks about de sinners wild
heap o solemn chat,
And neber draps nickel in de
missionary hat,
OATS foremost in de meetin'-
house for raisin' all he can
But lays aside his 'ligion wild
his Sunday panta'oons'
1 nebber Judge o. people dat |
meets along the way
BY de places whar dey come fun
an de houses whar dey stay
For de bantam chickens awful
fond o roostin' pretty high,
An de turkey buzzard sails
above de eagle in de Sky;
Dey ketches little MINERS in
the middle of de sea,
And you finds the smallest pos
sum up in de biggest tree.
ANONYMOUS
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15
LETTER FROM JAPAN
Written BY Rev. j. T. Proctor Formerly
Oh Monroe.

r. " You ask about entertain.
ing the Chinese guests and the
kind of food they give Il, aud
wc CIV. lutm etc. AN invited
ou. IT, r.u ~. Two clI. Sc, OF
people, the christians aud the
om,,1D, o, wealthy claa-ea. by
bot Cas- e., | am given purely
ca - lrUd. Tnc christians
of course give me very plain
tOUJ ~u,n 80, ,hry themselves
eat. Some of them have learn
Ell "a, say 81 COOKING Il
few dishes and 50 favor us in
this way. For after all, the
difference IL not 50 much the
kind Of food as in the cooking.
Thrre T., Uur lnIug LHJt every
CduU.,r EuDWs about foreigners
and that is that lie likes egg.
And So ! always nave eggs. OF
course sc eat in purely native
fashion with chop sticks. / en-
Joy eating with the christians
- .L.}: simple way much more
tnl@ eating the more elaborate
.llnny.s prepared for me by the
sos IL average dllAef
N... ne christian Consists
mt 'lIy al" almost eNciuNiVeIy
OF sample boiled rice mere /"
NO seasoning added while cox
Ing nor .:,crwIrd>. |. - SIN.
ply rice potleh III water an"
eaten with chop slitAS. IHey
know nothing about butter aud
40 not nse Inlik WlIh inns
rice they Will have at least one
dish OF some seasoned stun 80
as to make uP for me larK al
seasoning ~ lhe rice IN TN,
sect ~ o. thc CUuhlrN lhlr cN
ira dlnl /, usually SON" NHN at
tisu. Incy have an t,nu~t IA
limited variety OF hsh mere Il
they have Il thrd article 1t "lII
be either bead| boiled Witlloul
seasoning or some tlnd ct
greens. Greens are Also l."
great variety including almost
every Hlnd Ct weed and grass
that grows But OF this lisa
and beans, or greens, they eat
prCpOrtiOnately very little.
Say eacn mau will eat some
three ar tour bows OF rice
apiece while il group OF I"ur
will only eat one bow OF the
other articles The other art
Giles seem to DC for ~rasoois@
only. OF course if they visa 20
use more money ON III: t,p,r
pork Is essential II is a ~
say that every welt-lu-d q /
nese has pork every da,. Eo.,
all like it but mIo, CA II q
afford it, OF mn' t,"y h W
no oreaH or ANY thloS - i;'..
It's place. AN" they nave 49,
no sweet meats at tn tdDt-
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15

Viva Young the little two
year old daughter of Mr.. and
Mrs Allen Young of this city
hls been visiting her grandpar-
ents Mr.. and Mrs. lack Young
for fGvera days.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-05-15

which i not considered inpo.
lite. The waiter now removes
the dish from the center Of the
table aud replaces it by the sec
Ond course. The wire cups are
filled up and all drink before
beginning the second course
which is proceeded with IN the
indeuticNl same way. First Il
sup OF wine and then one bite
Of food all round and then gen.
erai conversation followed by
Il second sup Of wine winch in
turn is followed by the second
mouthfuI, or possibly two
MOUTH ais when the second
is finished This procedure is
followed for all the succeeding
cOureS until the end of the
feast. Almost never more than
three dips into one dish before
IL is removed. But there are
from ten to thirty courses in
these ordinary feasts SO there
is ~ danger of not getting
ehUugh to eat. You say it
takes time? OF course it does.
From two to fonr hours, In
=. recent feast given in Picking
by lie infamous Yung La to
all the representatives OF the
nations there were 126 courses
and the time consumed was
+ ON ten o'clock in the morning
to midnight with only few 10
termissions, | have almost new
er gotten up from one of these
ordinary feasts under two
hours. What do they eat?
Fish in from one to six varie.
ties Pork in at least three
STYLES. Duck aud chicken in
several different ways of cook
ing. Pigeon eggs, Turtle,
snakes, eel. oysters, shrimps,
CLANS, beet, mutton, bamboo
root, all kinds of greens cooked
with the above and Il dozen
kinds of stuff which is so rare
at home that | only know the
Chinese names OF them. At
least nine tenths Of the food at
one Oi these feasts is meat or
fiji making it very heavy and
next to impossible for the for.
cigurr 10 indulge without feel
ing uneasy afterwards. But
really The worst part OF the bill |
OF fare is not the food itself
but the method Of cooking it,
When everything else is eX.
iausIed. along with the pa.
thence at the foreign guest, the
hua, crurse Is brought on and
what g., it? Simple rice boiled
in WdlrI with no seasoning,
Tni, mus. come with every
meat All This time twice during
every course the wine cup is
offered aud some always drink.
Warn We entertain guests of
tins grade we do it in the same
way only we never give wine.
We nave a man come from some
prominent restaurant and pre-.
pare The feast for which we pay
81 mucu per mau. 1t takes from
20 ceut> to 81 IS per head per
neo, 10 entertain in this way.
We u,stiLure hot lemonade for
the wlne. 1 have given several
SUCH iehst| in the last year.
Some times we have mad the
geutry aud even the officials to
dine with us in foreign fashion,
But we must be pretty familiar
with one before we attempt
this.
Now have taken up a