davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
An Obituary.

He was strong on lines financial.
And his income was substantial,
And he trod with face undaunted through
this wilderness of woe;
Always kept his head on level.
Had no fear Of man or devil,
Till he bumped against plumber and the
plumber laid him low.
There was need of some connection
At pipe line intersection, :.
An adjus tment Of meter to three
fourths tube inside.
For defendant in the action
Fife has no more satisfaction
Bill was longer than the pipe line, but he
paid the same and died.
Nebraska State Journal. ...
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Ina Bad Why.

"You'll have to excuse my dolly
said the little four-year-old, with great
dignity. "She's indisposed."
what is the matter with her, Kit
typ" asked the visitor, with show OF
friendly interest and sympathy.
'She's lost all the sawdust out OF her
stomach" replied Kitty, part OF her
left legs gone, she's got nervous pros
tration and can't wink her eyes. Chi
cagO Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Filtration.

A flashing gieam from downcast eyes
A smile-a tender word;
A touch from trembling finger tips
HE thought me true! Absurd!
A gentle pressure of the hand;
A kiss! and then 'Good-by;"
A shrug-a smile-a sudden laugh,
Succeeded by a sigh!
HARLEM Life
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Il Popular Anttdote.

"Afike," said Mrs. Flanagan, look
ing from the paper in her hand to her
husband, who had Just signed the tenn
perance pledge, "shure an 9 great
docther seq thot alcohol do be shure
cure for carbolic acid pizen, an if so be
yez haven't amy olcohol, thin twict as
much whisky will do jist as well"
"Be quick, thin, Norah, me dear, an
lay by good store o. the stuff. Shure
I'm thot desp'rit there's no tellin' whin
I'll be nadin' the rimidy."- Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Disclosing . Secret.

"Does your sister ever talk about
me?" asked the enamored youth OF
his best. girls small brother.
"You bet she Does" replied the
youngster. 81 heard her tell ma the
other day that if your shoes had rock
ers on them they would make good
cradles."-Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
If Of the Right Timber.

"Josiah," asked Mrs. Chugwater,
looking up from paper she was
reading, "why does medical student
have to go before a board?'"
$50 he can hang out a single,
suppose" replied Mr.. Chugwater.
"What do you want to bother me
about thing like that for?''-Chi.
cago Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Could See No Reason.

Surprised Foreigner-Do you mean
to say you have special elections for
congressman in your country?
Native American = Sometimes, it
there is vacancy. Why not?
Surprised Foreigner - Why, from
the way you people talk about your
congressman I shouldn't think one of
them was worth the expense of spe-
cial election.-Chicago Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

The Landlady-Poor Mr.. Light
weight died last week and know he
went straight to Heaven.
Mr.. German - What makes you
think so?
The Landlady-He always paid his
board in advance, never complained
about his room being cold or his bed
being hard, and, besides, he had a
very delicate appetite.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Love Made Him Go Round.

Love Mdde HIM 90 Rounu.
Lady-What brought you to this de-
plorable condition?
Tramp-It wus love affair, ma'szn.
s'Poor man! How very sad. Here's
q quarter for you.'
''Thanks, ma'am. Dis will kinder
give dat love affair Nv mine boost.
You see, it wus my love fer liquor dat
put me on de hog train.-Chicago
Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
m word~r IT.. sulendid.

sWhat splendid language Mr.. Cho-
kah uses in his sermons!"
Eyes, indeed. But, then, what can
you expect? His sermons are invari-
ably made up of five-eighths Bible and
three-eighths Shakespeare" Cle,e-
land Plain Dealer.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Evidence.

"Does Mr.. Blimmins know much
about horse races?"
"No," answered the man with .
faded and experienced look.
'How can you teE?"
"By the fact that he is willing to
bet on observation-disclosures Star.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Best for the Bowels

No matter what ais you, headache to a
cancer, you will never get we'll until your
bowels are put right. Cascarets help nature,
cure you without a grippe or pain, produce
easy, natural movements, cost you just 10
cents to start getting your health back.
Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, put
up in metal boxes, every tablet has c. G. C.
stamped on it. Beware of limitations.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Wisdom Of Experience.

Singleton wish you were eligible
for membership in our bachelor club,
old man. You have no idea of what
you are missing.
Wededly-Oh, yes, have. count
the change in my pocket every night
and morning-Chicago Daily Newa
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

Billy Binks-Ah! old chap. You
don't know what swell people comes
of. Why, I've got real blue blood in
my veins!
Slumpy George-Ah! I've often
wondered wot made yer nose that ere
color!-Ally Sloper.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
LonR-Felt Want,

Biggs-Do you belong to any So
ciety?
Diggs-No; but I'm going to assist
in organizing one next week.
Biggs-What is to be the nature
Of it?
Diggs-It will be society for the
suppression of useless societies
Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Her One Reauest.

"Charley, DEAR" said young Mrs.
Torkins, "there is one favor want to
ask you. hope you will realize it
is for your own good and not get an.
cry"
what is it,"
II want you to solemnly promise
me that you will never bet on a horse
that isn't going to win."-Chicago
Record-Herald.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
m. Ro.ton Maid Again.

She was Boston maiden whom
They took about the town;
And showed the interesting things
In upper town and down.
They went to a cold storage place:
It made 'em all feel queer
To hear the Boston maid remark:
Its very warm in here"
.-YonkerS Statesman
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Uncle Euh.n.

''Hit beats all, exclaimed Uncle
Eph'm, chow de slot machine business
is a-growin'. After awhile you'll be
droppin' a penny in de slot an Sittia'
religion. Tribune
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
A Good Tackle.
inal Signature.

"Did I make good tackle?" asked the
football player, looking from his cot in the
hospital.
eyes," replied the nurse, "you bit off one
ear and two fingers and broke three legs"
"Thank heavens!" murmured the football
player, lapsing again into Inconsistencies.
Ohio State Journal
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
A Mean Doctor.

The Doctor (after seeing Mrs.
Smythe)-It's nothing serious.
Mr.. Smythe-No?
The Doctor-No; told her trip
abroad would prove anything but
beneficial to her in her present state.
Mr.. Smythe with sigh of relief
Brooklyn Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Coda School.

| The world Is Just a school through which
We all are sent to pass,
| But only here and there Is one
| Who when the term al last is done
Has left the primer class.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
After spillinx the Soup.

Waiter y beg your pardon, sir! I
never had such thing happen before.
Custorer-I wish to gracious you
had! Then you might have been more
careful this time!-Brooklyn Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Boardinx House Par.imony.

Landlady-Our Shakespeare club is
to discuss the character of Cassius to-
night.
Boarder-Did you know Cassius?
Landlady-What . question? OF
course, not.
Boarder-I didn't know but he
boarded here; he was lean and hun
cry, you know.-Brooklyn Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

"A woman" said Mr.. Plattitood, cant
keep = secret" HUH" said little Johnny.
80 My teacher KEEP me workin' an hour on a
swer any time."-1ondon Tit-Bits.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Fame.

The ways to gain this worlds applause
Are various and complex.
Some get the same by writing books
And some by writing checks.
Wa shingtOn Star, .....
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

The way to destroy courage Is not ia
pluck it up.-Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
He,. Getting Even.

Trivvet-Did you hear of the dread
full revenge rockingham took on
Miss Dimling when she refused his
proposal?
Dicer-What was it?
Trivvet-He proposed to her moth
er, as Mrs. Dimling was widow, and
now he won't let a man come to the
house to see his stepdaughter.-Chi-
cago Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Eyes, aunt. What is it?"

"When DIR. Slimpset comes / sus-
pect he will try to give me an anc'
dyne, and I want you to promise me
not to let him do it. It won't cure
my disease, and if I have pain l
want to know it.''-Leslie's Weekly.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

There is an attractiveness about being
q deadhead that is hard for most people
to resist, even when they know they will
be bored by the show.-Indianapoli News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever
used for all affections of the throat and
lungs.-Wm. O. Endsley, Vanburen, Ind,
Feb 10. 1900.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

To Cure . Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money If it fails to cure. 25c.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
All Ware and No Fare,

Guest-Will you kindly tell me how
you cut this beef so thin?
Waiter With a carving knife.
Why?
Guest-Nothing; only was just
wondering if it was done with u
safety razor.-Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
Some from Outside.

Miss BackbayI don't like your
friend Mr.. Gotham. He remarked to
me last night that there were no
pretty girls in Boston.
Miss Knickerbocker-Ho ridicu.
lous!
Miss Backbay-Wasn't it?
Miss Knickerbocker-Yes because
there are always some New York
girls visiting there. = Philadelphia
Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

We should be saved great deal of en-
barrassment if we realized how little atten-
ton other people pay to us.-Indianapolis
News
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

Failure u often caused by too long story
telling.-Washingto (Ia.) Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES are the
brightest, fastest and easiest to use.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
She Wanted tn Know

"Grandniece,' said the old lady,
feebly, in tone which indicated men-
tai anxiety as well as bodily suffer
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

"Pop, what is q driving rain?" 'Why, a
driving rain, my boy, suppose, is rain
that drives you indoors. "-Yonkers States
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

Loyal Craftsman may not De
much of soldier, but do as much
drilling as any of them.-N. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

Every man takes off his hat to banker.
-Atchison Globe
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

Just About Rixht.
What is q promoter, JIM"
well, promoter is one of those fellows
that can sell you colander for a wash
basin. "-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16
XIV s. ,iisz 4
That Settled Il.

He had taken an unwarranted liber.
ty in criticising her new hat. 1t pro.
voked her. She was about to say that
she didn't propose to be dictated to
by any man. But she didn't say it.
All she said was:
II do not propose"
Then he interrupted her.
IF you did" he smilingly murmured,
II should certainly say yes"
And that, seemed to settle it.-11t'
Bits.
Right AGainS
Because that Shakespeares self has said
1t, lends
reason that it's sure:
''There's divinity that shapes our ends
And she's the manicure.
Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-01-16

nGeoooo0ceo6eeceocooooocoopn0ooon6
Milford chronicle., 1902-04-25
THE BACHELORS GUESS.

The "Richmond Dispatch says:
''They were very pretty and there was
apparently five or six years difference
in their ages. AS the train pulled up
at Russey, out on the A. X. D., the
younger girl blushed, fattened hernose
nervously against the window and
drew back in joyous smiles as a young
man came dashing into the car, shook
hands tenderly and cordially, insisted
on carrying her valise, magazine, paper
bundle, and he would probably have
carried her had she let him. The pas
sengers smiled as she left, and the muir
muir went ripping through the coach,
TThey're engaged The other girl
sat looking nervously out Of the win
dow, and once or twice gathered her
parcels together as though she would
leave the car; yet seemed to be expect
ing some one. At last he came. He
bulged into the door like a house afire,
looked along the seats until his manly
gaze fell upon the upturned expectant
face, roared "Come on, I've been wait
ing for you on the platform for fifteen
minutes,p grabbed her basket and
strobe out Of the car, while she followed
with a little valise, bandbox, a paper
bag full of lunch, bird cage, a glass
jar of jelly preserves, and an extra
shawl A erusty looking old bachelor
in the farther end of the car croaked
in unison with the indignant looks Of
the passengers ''they, remarked
/ wonder how they could feel they
knew he was not a brother? And I
wonder why so many of us-while we
love more than when we were engaged
yet treat one and another with less
civility and consideration than before
marriage. The habit does not apply
to either sex alone. 1 believe some
husbands would encourage a change
for the better, about as one man did
when he asked 'What in Sam Hill
are you grinning at ~ Are there wive.
who would encourage any small bu
unusual attentions with as little kind
ness ? I am afraid so.
Milford chronicle., 1902-04-25
Freedom for BOees.

William N. Boggs, who was SEN
fenced on May 10th, 1899, to five years
imprisonment in the New Jersey State
Penitentiary, at Trenton, for misapplO-
priating the funds Of the First National
Bank Of Dover, of which he was teller,
will be released to day, President
Roosevelt having cOmmuted the SEN
tence.
Boggs disappeared fIom Dover May
10Th, 1897, and announcement that he
was defaulter was printed June 4th.
The bank directors met July 14th, and
reported that the defalcation amounted
to S1O7 900. Boggs surrendered to the
United States authorities February
18th, 1898, and was indited two months
later. He was arraigned and pleaded
guilty April 2lst, but, in order that he
might testify against others charged
with being implicated in the defalca-
ton, was not sentenced until May 10,
1899.
Boegs will go to Philadelphia, where
it is said, he will be given a clerical po-
sitiou.
Milford chronicle., 1902-04-25

Corporators Of the Delaware Electric
Traction Company, which proposes to
build trolleyiline.through Kent county
met at the Office Of their counsel, Her
bert H. Ward, last Monday and per-
fected organization. Senator J. Frank
Alice was chosen president. Senator S.
John Abbott, vice president; Repre-
sentatives Thomas c. Moore, secretary;
and Secretary of State Caleb R. Layton,
treasurer These officers, with DIR l..
s. Conwell Of Camden, and Insurance
Commissioner George W. Marshall are
the directors of the company.
A survey Of the route from Smyrna
to Milford, and from Smyrna to Wood
land Beach was ordered. The line will
be So miles long. The contract for it's
construction has been awarded to the
Milford Construction Company, char
tered recently in New Jersey. That
concern will sublet contracts to parties
in Baltimore and New York, and it is
expected that operations will com.
mence at an early day. tits estimated
that four months will be required Il
build the line.
Milford chronicle., 1902-04-25

The United States Civil Service Com
mission announces that an examine
ton will be held at the Federal building
in Wilmington on May 10, for the posi-
ton Of local route inspector in the rural
free delivery service in Kent county.
The age limit is 20 years or over. but
the department desires eligibles who
are between the ages Of 25 aud so years.
Eight consecutive hours will be allow
ed for the examination. Physical fit
ness for the position and familiarity
with county roads and local conditions
in Kent county are prerequisite quail
ifications. The following are the sub
jects and weights:
Spelling, first grade, s. arithmetic.
first grade, 10; letter-writing, special,
10; copying from plain copy, first grade
10; tracing and lettering, 25; description
Of route, %; rural free delivery practice,
5; postal laws and regulations, 10; total
100.
From the eligible resulting from this
examinations it is expected that certi-
fication will be made to The position Of
local route inspector for she rural free
delivery service Of Kent county. This
examination is open to all citizens Of
the United States who comply with
the requirements. Competitors will be
rated without regard to any considera-
ton other than the qualifications shown
in their examination papers, and eIigi-
bles will be certified strictly in accord
ance with the Civil Service law and
rules.
Persons who desire to complete should
at once apply either to the secretary of
the local board Of examiners at the post
Office in Wilmington, Del, or to the
United States Civil Service Commits
sion, Washington, d. c., for a copy Of
the Manual of Examinations and APP
plication form SO4. The application,
including the medical certificate, should
be properly executed and filed with the
commission at Washington prior to the
hour Of closing business on May 18th.
Applicants must file with their ap-
plications statement showing their
familiarity with the roads and local
conditions of Kent county.
Milford chronicle., 1902-04-25
GLENDALE.

Two prominent families Of Glendale have
been visited by the death angel this week.
On Thursday, April 18th, the soul OF James
Sheppard returned to its Creator after So
years soiourn on eBrth. The remains were
buried at the Millman Farm graveyard last
Sunday. His death removes an old land
mark from a district where he was we'll
known. In the stage coach days, long past,
he kept a tavern at what was known as
"FIeatown." on the road between Milford
and Glendale where It was customary for
the judges to stop for their apple toddy. The
place was known locally as far back as the
Revolutionary period
On Monday. April 2lst, Mrs. Robert Warren
died after a prolonged illness from consump-
tion. She was 30 years old and leaves a hus-
band and small child bowed 10 grief This is
the second wife Mr.. Warren has followed to
the grave. Her funeral took place last We'd
nesday afternoon in the NJ. E. Church with
Rev. Buclsom officiating. Mrs. Warren was
the daughter OF John Beebe,a prominent far
mer Of Nanticoke district.
Mrs. Sallie A. Belts, wife Of Edward Belts,
died at her home near Union Church, We'd
nesday, Aprll Ord, aged 81 years, II months
and IA days. Funeral at Union Church Fri
uay attcEuOou al z o CLOCK. =. j. wilson luu-
eral director.
An incident occurred last Saturday even
ing which was curious. A patent medicine
vendor hired the schoolhouse Hail, and an
nounced that a graphaphone entertainment
would take place. The admission was fixed
at ten cents. but not one person presented
themselves for admission. The man then
announced a free show, but not one entered
the hall. The town was full of people. but 1t
was not a show night for Glendale folks.
AIR. Arthur Russell has contracted with
Contractor Workman, OF Milton, to build a
residence. The material is being gathefed
for 1t now.
]. Robert HemmOns is havin a new house
built on his farm near Oakley. Greenwood
workmen are doing the work.
Thomas Todd, principal OF our Public
Schools, is moving his family to Greenwood.
where he viii engage in merchandising as
soon as the schools close.
Mr.. Harry Jester will occupy the residence
vacated by Mr.. Todd.
Great quantities OF slaves are being shipped
from the Laundry stave Mills. which are
rushed with orders.
So far the peach crop is all right, and pros
poets for berries was never better.
PAUL PRY.
Milford chronicle., 1902-04-25
eommeneement EsereIses At DeImar.

The Commencement Exercises of the Del
mar, Del, Public School. were held in the Ma
sonic Opera House on Tuesday evening A
large audience greeted those who were o par
ticipate in the programme. Seated on the
stage, which was tastefully draped in yellow
and black, and beautifully decorated with
potted plants, were the graduating class
dressed in white, consisting OF Miss Susanna
Laura Francis, Miss Ethel Olive Hayman,
Miss Anna Catherine Stephens, Miss Minnie
Ellen Smith, Miss Susie Mae Hastings, and
Miss Margaret Florence Hastings Mr. will
ard F. Deputy, Principal OF the school, County
superintendent Leon A. Davis, Hon. John
6. Gray, Of Wilmington, Rev. z. H. Webster,
Rev. L. A. Bennett. Elder A. B. Francis, Mr.
s. 4. Slemons and Mr.. w. l.. Sirman.
The exercises were opened by an overture
BY the Delmar Cornet Band, and followed by
an invocation by Elder A. b. Francis.
An essay on the Policy Of Winding Ones
Own Business" was delivered by Miss Mar
garet Hastings
A recitation, "The Raven by Poe, was
rendered by Miss Susie Francis. This was
followed by a vocal duet, by Misses Ethel
Hayman and Susie Hastings, with piano ac-
compartment.
"Unwritten Heroism," an essay read by
Miss Minnie Ellen Smith, showed marked
talent in the author.
"Daniel Peridonis Ride poem, comnem-
Grating one of the heroes ofthe Johnstowp
flood, was dramatically rendered by Miss
Ethel Hayman.
A quartette with piano accompaniment.
was sung by Claude Phillips, Loran German.
Herbert sipple and Harry German.
evil Effects OF Tobacco" an essay by Miss
Anna stephens, contained valuable sugges-
tions,which the boys ofthe school will do well
to heed,
"History," by Miss Susie Hastings, was an
interesting recitation we'll delivered and con
tanned numerous illusions to members oftbe
class. At the close OF this, in an appropriate
presentation speech, she presented to Mr..
Deputy as a gin and testimonial from the
class, nice umbrella. Though taken by
surprise, Mr.. Deputy was equal to the coca
sion. and made a neat speech Of acceptance.
Hon. John G. Gray delivered the address to
the class, to which he paid glowing tribute
and ELECTED hearty applause
Diplomas were presented by Superinteu-
dent Davis to the graduates in appropriate
remarks.
The intervals were enlivened with music
by the Cornet Band. The exercises were
closed with the benediction pronounced by
the Rev. L. A. Bennett.
Much praise is due to the Principal. Mr..
Deputy, for his efforts and success in elevat.
ing the school to its present standard.
s. X. SLEMONs.