The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1902-10-30
IN A HUMOROUS VEIN

Ii ps."Ser, isn't he7n u'nheF
bcco,srf nSsrf Hos O regular moor IT,
''''mes brighter tho f~llor Ioh. ~" .o., HE
d by fTamer; apnoer;n,S. You can't always iuave
Il balf bo rfptoarances. stas. Every man iba, 1uuse
- sco isn't tramn '' ''oAe
}. of them arn L should say not. somo
}. Civil Service Examinor fu
C ~, TO Erastus Smith, coiosoy, iSty S'orn~
o asplros TO the Office of mail cou, VINO
u low far is 1t from tho eartS t
n moon? 'n 10 tha
: Erastus Gin terror)-Golly. hoss &c
r yo's gwine to put me on dat rnm,o .,
c don't want de job. ''
Willie-Pa, what docs "good a.
wheat" moan2 e''' 40
+ pa-Don't bother me.
Wlliie-Pa, would you say was ae
"good as wheat?" go
IA might after you wero nron
erly throshod, and that's what vii,
happen to you if you don't stop asking
questions.
"Poor woman After her hard
days work she has to stay up half the
night with her bables."
WHAT'S the matter with her hns-
band3 Why doesn't be help he19"
"Oh, he puts in all his time agitatinR
tcf "n oight-iiour day for the working
man,
A school teacher visiting in a near
py CITY was q guest at q party the
other day, and lady to whom she had
Dcen just introduced did not catch The
" Miss " and, snpposing che was mar
rcd, asked: How many children
dld you say you have ?" "Well, only
4o now,' was tho reply that nearl
staggered the questioner.
"Would you like to bo Pres,dent9n
asked the good old gentleman in the
park.
"Naw," responded the younpster in
tho golf cap. "I'd rather Ro ,ha no
President's little boy.n
"And why?"
Because then 1 could get nv
name in the papers if I'd only scratch
cd my nose or had my picture taken."
Stern Father-So you want to marry
my daughter, ch2
Young man-You have said it.
Stern Fathcr-What's your SALARY?
Young man--Oh, Pm not particu-
lar. Just give me trial for three
months, and if L fail to give satisfac-
ton rs son-in-law you needn't paw
me any salary.
Mrs. IIoax-My now sorvunt girls
good one, but she makes my husband
80 mad. He's crank about his coffee.
you know.
Mrs. Joax-And she can't make
coffee, eh2
Mrs. Hoax She makes it just right,
but that's tho one thing he likes to
kick about, and now he hasn't any ex-
cusc, don't you see7
"My dear" said tho young hus.
band, "did you over speak to the milk
man about thoro beng no cream on
the milk2"
Yes, told him about it this MORN
ing and ho has explained it satisfac-
torily, and l think it is quite credit
to him, too"
"What did he say?'
Hc SAID that he always fills the
bottles 80 full that there is no room on
the top for the cream."
Mr.. Bostock is not only a good deal
of Snowman, but something of O.
hnmorist as we'll. They have now
called him up before the courts of New
York for giving an exhibition of his
trained animals on Sunday, and he
pleads that he has simply used his AMI
mails TO illustrate the plight of Daniel
in the lions den and other Biblical al
legorics. If he isn't let off without O.
fine it will not bo for any lack of in
gcnuity.
Landlady: "I hopo you slept
woll, sir?" New Boarder: "No, I
didn't, I've been troubled with in
somnia." Landady: "Look here.
young man, pll give you dollar for
every one you find in that bedi'
She: You say the chicken soup
isn't good? Why, I told the cook
how to make it. Perhaps she didn't
catch the idea"
lie: "No, think it was the chick.
en- she didn't CATCH"
Say, I've got one of the best medic
cines in the world, and it ought TO sell
in immense quantities."
"The worth of your medicine cuts
no figure. Tho question ls, Have you
got money enough to advertise it9''
" Doc" Brown, of Morgansfleld,
Ky., who represents his district in the
State Legislature, is one of Kentucky's
unique characters. To illustrate a
point IN recent speech he gave the
io!loWlng account Of his courtehip:
Take my advice and never give q
woman advice and never give q woman
anything sho can't eat and never make
love to her out of an ink bottle. Whv
: when l courted my wife just grabbed
mold OF her and said: sSallie, you art
the sweetest thing on earth and you1
2 beauty battles the skill of man AM