New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-07-11
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Pretoria Is beginning to take English as
pect. The bronze figures of the typical Voor-
trekkers, which were intended fer the base of the
Kruger statue in Government Square, Pretoria,
have been presented TO Lord Kitchener. who has
had them shipped England in order that they
may grace as war trophy. the Royal Engineers
quarters at Chatham On the site of the KRUGER
statue Samuel Marks, who has given the bronze
figures has offered large sum TO place statue Of
the King. and it is further stated in letter The
London Telegraph that this loyal British subject
is willing to place statue Of the late Queen the
opposite side of the square, Already the face OF
the government buildings displays the royal arms
cut in the solid stone.
s hns s fruit Hry that S
a ally has favor OF humor A man applied to the
Il Is pleasant to be able TO borrow one from cele-
brated ancestor The man IN question could not
AND hers9rs q gould b, not mention
basis Of coat-of-arms But the official TO whom
he applied was not easily discouraged
Nothing. l fear" said the man, adding as a
In Ludgate Prison for debt, he had found means 20
ess ana from 6o ala sR T Y9S rS WINDOW 6Gq
II got cord hXed it AROUND the neck of King
enc gs5 hS thing Ihers You hHye hOn9r
Magazine
That versatile author the Rev. Sabine Barring
Gould. says IN. A. p" tells many amusing an
eodotes concerning life in his little Cornish par
fish. An old lady, Of Mr.. Gould's parshiOn-
ers. came 20 him one day and earnestly besought
him to come and her "owd Zow,' which, she
said. was very bad" The author OF "AIehaIah'
protested. and said that he could do the poor
animal no good, for he was parson, not veter-
mary surgeon. But the old soul persisted that
IL ne came and said "a few words" over the pig #
,Ioltt To har Cao,,l1
hied him the pigsty, where the old sow lay
painting In the last throes of death. Entering the
sty, with mock reverence he marched round the
pig. and in a sepuchral voice uttered the words
20 pig, If thou Invest thou Invest, but. O pig,
If thou diest thou diest." And. strange to say.
the pig got better. much to the delight of the old
lady who put implicit faith In the efficacy OF the
few words" the parson uttered. In after days
the scene was changed. Barring Gould lay n bed
of suffering nigh unto death No one. not even the
members OF his own family. allowed to see
him. An old lady. having heard that the par
SON. was ILL., and was not likely to recover, wished
nay. demanded-to see him. Declaring that she
could the parson,' she pushed the servant
aside and made her way to the room in which the
patient lying. Her noisy entrance disturbed
him. but she repeated. with awful solem-
nifty, 20 parson, IL thou uvest thou livest; but.
o parson il thou dest thou diest!" he was
minded of the other occasion on which the formula
was used. and burst into uncomfortable laughter,
which ''broke' the quincy. That is how as Mr.
Baring-Goud loves TO say he was saved by
"zow."
standing near his pcture) Miss semple-Why,
Dawber-Some one tainted, suppose!-(Punch.
or a certain bishop. famous about the plainest
man In England. The Liverpool Post" tells this
pleasing tale: One day, this homely parson sat
In an omnibus he was amazed by the persistent
staring of a fellow passenger who presently
burdened himself follows:
You're parson. amt you?"
well yes that is So
Look ere parson would you mind comm ONE
with to my wife,
Imagining the wife sick and needing assist
ance the clergyman at great inconvenience to him
self, went with the man. On arriving at the house
the man shouted TO his wife to come downstairs.
and, pointing to the astonished parson said. with
grin of delight:
Look e ere. Sairry. Yer said this mornn' I
the hugliest chap in England. Now. just yer
look at this bloke!"
Profanity of His Profession.-"Who is that seien-
II dunno answered the broomgentleman But
hes funny one TO swear; AR, You ought to hear him
said 'Bcillus" just that way."-(Chcago Tribune.
The French Consul at Batavia states that light
houses are built of bamboo cane in Japan and sug-
gests the Importance of the wood In erecting build
ers' soaffoldng. The power of resistance of BAN
boo cane measuring eight inches to ten inches in
diameter, with length of sixty-fYe feet is
enormous. Moreover. bamboo is said not to rot
either when in the ground or in water while the
dryer and older it grows the frmer It becomes
Hope for Young Poets.-Pedler-ons moment,
please You are poet bSt am told rot nun,,sha
very much OF my work yet
Exactly That's why l called"
''Eh? Are you publsher?'
mo. sir | am general agent for one of the
greatest money saving inventions the age"
UNI would certainly like save money"
Yes that's it, and I've got the thing TO enable
you to do it, It's little rubber STAMP with the
words Declined with Thanks it. You write
your poem put IL in envelope. slip I'm a niece Of
paper with those words on il, address the enveope
to yourself, open the envelope read the Slip dunn
the whole business in the wastehasket-and there
you You'll save ten times its cost in postage
stamps every week"-CNew-York Weekly.