Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-07-30

NV
Heredity: "Do you believe in hered-
ity?" Certainly; know barber who
has three little shavers."-Ex.
Youngman-I wonder what's the best
way to find out what woman thinks
of you? Henpeck-Marry her.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Dawson-Bjenks Is great believer
in fate, isn't he? Lawson-Yes, he has
to blame his incompetency on some
thing.-Somerville Journal.
An Insinuation. Flora-Yes, sing in
a church where they have an awfully
small congregation. Dora-Then why
don't you stop singing philadelphia
Bulletin.
Mrs. Swellman-I dreamed last night
that was with n box party at the
opera. Mr.. Swellman-I wondered why
you were talking so loud in your sleep.
Philadelphia Press.
Miss Eastside-That is lovely
gown. but haven't seen 1t before2
Miss Westside-No, think not; have
only worn it at few smart affairs this
season-Town and Country.
st says here, Samanthy, tibet Rever-
end Toogood was saloon passenger
on the Majestic. Beats all how them
preachers do cut up when they git
away from hum."-Judge.
Arthur-Yes. think Minnie loves
me very much. She's dear girl; she
has large heart. Harry-A heart like
London omnibus; always room for
one more.-Boston Transcript.
Clergyman Qately come to parish)-
Your neighbor. Smith, says my SER
mons are rubbish. Farmer-Ah. ye
needn't mind I'm. sir; 'e's mouth
piece for other folks.-TitB Bits.
Flossie-Tm afraid, Bridget, that
mamma is dissatisfied with you.
Bridget = Is she. now? Faith, thin.
she'll soon have chance to be dissat-
isfled wit somebody else!-Puck.
Inducements Held Out. Harriet
What shall say in the advertisement
for cook Harry-Well. say that we'll
take her with us to any summer resort
81, may prefer.-Detroit Free Press.
Nothing to Show. "What is your ma
tivity?" asked the magistrate. II ain't
got any, y'r honor" said the blear-eyed
inebriate, feeling in his pockets; the
police took everything had. Chicago
Tribune
she-You wouldn't mind saying this
over again tomorrow. would you.
dearie? 1 am member of the NJ. 2.
D. @. Club. "Why, what does that
meanT" "MoonIight proposals don't
count."-Life.
Convincing Proof: May-I had no
idea before last night that Mr.. Pitcher
was man of such lofty ambitions ana
exalted ideals. Maud-How did you
come to find it out? Maybe proposed
to me.-Bazar.
Mother-There were two apples III
the cupboard, Tommy, and now there
is only one. How's that? Tommy (wpo
sees no way Of escape)-Well, ma,
was so dark in there didn't see the
other one.-Glasgow Evening Times:
Sure Test: How can you tell real cut
glass from the imitatlon?" asked Mrs.
Gaswell. "You can't, always, saio
Mr.. Gaswell, "but when anybody Offers
you piece of real cut glass for fifteen
cents, don't buy Chicago Tribune.
"wilI you please raise my salary".
why, gave you raise only last
week, because you told me that you
had your mother to support" Il know.
but my mother got married and now
have two to support" State Jour
nal. I,
Farmer I'm carD-Hi, stop! Stop,
YOU fool! Don't you see my horse 10
running away? Driver Of motor car
(hired by the hour)-Yes. It's all very
well for you to say stop" but I've for
gotten how the blooming thing worksl
Punch. 4
Bobbie-You know them preserves
out in TIL pantry wot you told me not
to eat? Mother-Yes. Bobbie-You
know you said they'd make me sick II
I ct 'em, didn't you? Mother-Yes.
Bobbie-Well, they didn't.-ohio State
Journal.
Belinda, your brother George tells
me that you were sitting on that little
Mr.. Thomkins' knees last evening. Is
it trueP Eyes. papa; but I'm sure you
will forgive me. 1t was just one Of
those little moral lapses, you know
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Haddock-I met poor old Ruyns
creeping towards his Office to-day, and
he complained bitterly Of being all run
down this spring. lubbock defensive
ly)-Well, confound him, he had no
business getting in front of an auto
mobile-Harper's Bazaar.
The Floor Walker: First Clerk-Poor
Jim! 1t will be long time before he
gets another place. Second Clerk
Don't you believe 1t. Why. he got Q
place us floor walker. First Clerk
You don't say sol Second Clerk-Yes;
he's got a new baby.-Judge.
Mr.. Williams (Fanny's ndmirer)--Is
your slstah going to the seaside this
summar, Tommy? Tommy-That all
depends on you. heard ma say II
you and Fanny were engaged before
the season opened, there wouldn't be
any sense In her going.-Stray Stories.
The Kind That Get Away: '.That lit
tie minnow," said the first fish, seems
to have got a big opinion of himself all
nf a suddenn nYesn renliel the other
she managed to wriggle off hook
this morning, and then heard the fish
erman Dragging about his size."-Fhi!-
adelphia Press.
Honest Tenant.
The father of Earl Eitzwilliam. who