Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-09-27

J01n-NOt yet, mum. ulusl cat tHO
greenhouse fuSt.-Punch.
The difference between humor in books
And that which we hear after meals:
The formers as old G 1t looks.
The latter as young as II feels
Philadelphia Press.
advice. bredderen," said Uncle Eph,
''am err good deal laik trubble; de less y0'
want de mob 20 git an de moh yo' git
de less yo' want. colorado Springs Ga
zette.
Reduced to Figures-The Sutton
What do you consider the essential diff
ference between friendship and love?
From five to ten thousand year.
Life.
"My husbands so erratic--so fightyw
Maybe his work has something to do
with it. What is his occupation"
Hes an aeronaut. Detroit Free
Press.
Money talks" said the caller. "Well,
the kind | get must talk in whisper"
chuckled Senator Stocks. "Why?" BE
cause it is hush-money. philadelphia
Record.
Young man." said the evangelist, "do
you not wish to be saved?'
Not yet" replied young Rakeley, 'I'm
only just beginning to be lost."-Phladel-
phia Press.
Several streets in New York were open
last week for the convenience of the pub
lie This, howevere, will be fully RENE
died as soon as the rush back to town
begins.-Life.
Eastern Man lin the Rockies)-This is
n good healthy country, isn't it? West
ern Man-Ya-as, it's healthy enough eff
yeh don't put on too many airs.-New
York Weekly.
Foote Lighte-Why do they call the
theatrical pusher ian angelo He rasn't
any wings.
Sue Brette-No; he hasn't but he finds
his money has.-Yonkers Statesman.
Judge Wayback-Do you reckon that
jury is goin to stay out all summer?
Court Crier-Shouldn't wonder. Did
you know that they found a png-pong
set in the jury room?-Ohio State Jour
nal.
Maud-Why did you break your en-
gagement with Tom Hotchkiss?
Edith-Hush! Don't tell anyone-but
he was growing so horribly fat. When
grief has pulled him down bi. l shall
take him on again.
At 81 Il Visit-"Yes, the doctor has
put me on the stricteet kind of diet"
Indeed. What is it?" "Well, he says
mustn't eat anything don't like, and
not any more than want of what do"
Baltimore News.
An Economical FeIlow.-Geraldine-
III be sister to You. Gerad-That
will be nice. Geraldine--What do you
mean? Gerald-My sister loves me, but
she doesn't expect me TO take her any
Internationally Life.
Bertha-I guess it's going to be II
match between Maude and Charley
Constance--Soi Bertha--Yes, Maude to,
DAY. spoke Of his suffering as slight
hesitancy in the enunciation of words. -
Boston Evening Transcript
4 Saving of Coal.-"Yes, I'm encour
aging my daughter to keep company
with that Arctic explorer" whats tn,
reason| Hell be able to stand it il
the parlor without any fire next winter.
Cleveland Plaindealer.
Don't you wish you all had an auto
mobile?" said Miss Miami Brown
oh, dunno" answered Erastu
Pinkley, "A mule doesn't cost near s.
much money an it's purity near as dan
gerous. Washington Star.
Rule for Success-"What is your rul
in business--your MAXIM we ask of tn
Wall Street baron. Very simple" h
answers. Il pay for something that
can't get. and then sell what / never ha
for more than il ever cost. Life.
No High Hats Then: Lumey-He'
very fond of Mosaics and all sorts of AZ
tiques. He has in his collection sewers
tiles from the tomb Of Rameses III
Great Dumley--Come off! They didn
wear tiles in those days Philadelphi
Press.
Look at Miss Gaswell az she sits o
the sand in her bathing suit" exclaime
Pittsburger at Atlantic City ''She
pretty enough to eat" That's what sh
is" assented his hearer "She is a regu
lar sand witch. "-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
DO you think | am as good lookn
as | was, papaT
What difference does il make, III
dear. if your character is spotleSs?"
But, papa, there is something highe
in life than the mere acquisition of char
acter."-l.ife.
40 you believe in letting the oflic
seek the MANI
No" answered the practical politician
Il regard an office under this government
with TOO much respect to allow it to pu
itself out of the way on my account =
Washington Star
Wen Trained Lady Ito boy VIII
has fetched her glass OF waterl-
Thank you, my boy. You were yer
quick about il. Boy-That's nothin
ma'am. I'm used To it, | had jo
carrying water to the elephants in Gil
eus.-Pick Me-Up.
Mr.. Naybor- Lee-"Did you hear tina
nuisance of eat last night? Mr.. Laze
Yes, and | was glad Of ii good chanc
to throw something INT him, Did yo
hit him. "Oh, no. hut got rid of tina
blamed alarm clock that wakes me u
every morning. "-Philadelphia Press.
II understand the old phrase abou
marrying and giving in marriage is nov
IN, 4