The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-10-12

l was his from the moment we met. 1 vas
not sure OF him until now. Iwould not take
worlds FOR that one look; I 20 home dazed-
uehghted-cannot eat nor sleep. Met young
woman who was at same church on same
day-oid friend OF the family She 80,
Sa" you at church. reading from sans
book with s." mentioning his nane-
handsome man-handsomest fellow I ever
saw. Rich. too. and generous, why. he lives
only two blocks from hererr
She rattles on, while I bless her In M
heart OF hearts for telling me lust what I
want TO know l eross-examlne her very
cauuously-learn that he Is excessively pop-
ular. a collegiate still. and an aIl-round
athlete; has hosts OF male friends and
legions OF female adorerS Feel that I must
class myself among the latter.
SECOND CONFESSION.
knew that I should meet him again. and
l do. I say TO myself. There Is the man
for me to marry-heayen has sent him, I
am unutterabIy gratefuIr' II IS again Of
a Sunday. I go out for a stroll. after tea
OF curse escorted. We reach the prettV
park not far away. Ny mind drifts from
my company. I am thinking OF the adored
one. and how easy il will be for me to
know him.; so easy that I would rather not
hasten Il by any act OF mine. but leave ie
to chance, and enjoy drifting toward the
~ 49, ~ We EAhAAN a EUNE
twilight comes on. a trolley approaches.
We resolve to enter u. I enter. Can I be
mistaken-can I be mistaken Yes. tits hel
We gods and blessed fatesl My hero againI
How we look at each other, Both men nod;
now we both know that our happiness Is
but postponed. and that II Is the easiest
thinE In the world for US 10 know each
other. l am orthodoxy well behaved. I
wish him to know me In the most proper
and decorous manner. but my eyes say az
much as they dare and his a good deal
more than they should. Too soon I reach
my door. I alight; he watches to see which
house l enter All the while / am looking
my best; / cannot do otherwise under the
circumstaness-It's no effort: 1t Is inspIra-
tional.
THE LAST CONFESSION.
One Of those irritating days when II Is
impossible TO SIT still or 70 do anything
for five consecutive minutes. There are
children in the observation-disclosures, trouble
some children. who quarrel at frequent in
tervaIs and drive me mad. I go into the
street hoping 10 find rest. or at least mo-
mentary relief. I have seen him but
twice; I have stayed away from the Church
OF St. Anthony OF the Desert. for was
sure he would be there. I would not permit
myself TO see him. because JOY mingled
with pain Is keener than joy which IL IN
mixed. Instinctively l turn toward a side
street; some one brushes against me. I
look up eNpectantly-ahi II is a ~strangerl
Down the street farther I see carriages.
funeral coaches and a plumed hearse.
Ny heart stands still. I am dragged against
my will toward the house OF mourning. In
my pocket j. a thick ven through which
even my best friends. might not recognize
me. I assume this disguise because am
strangely agitated and as white as death.
It II ? p. IN. The door OF the house stands
wide open; people are Rowling the hall
and stairs. ] am In biack-I am always in
black on such days as this. Everybody
sad. everybody talking Of his virtues-the
traditional behavior OF everybody. I enter
unobserved-f will see who Ia IN the coffin
Three clergymen conduct the solemn cera-
mouials. 1 walt through all the hollow
forms: l endure all the twaddle. the pray
ere. the platitudes TO get what I came for
]. who hate and dispise funerals. and be-
lieve that our dead should belong 10 us.
and to M one else. I know the whole
truth. but I don't realize u. ! bear Il all
for the sake q my reward. One more look
at the last OF lIfe's delusions-one like II
the rest. I stand a moment over -
coffin I feel that I have buried all. tina -
worth living for IN the casket. with that
exquisite marble face. His coffin Is covered
that flower again, l cannot tear myself
away; I cannot weep. I stand and shiver =.
In dumb rage. Some one takes me gently
the arm and leads me aside. I choke as
approach the door,
I return into the world, II Is an absoluts
blank 20 ne. I shall never again care for
any one or anything
For he Is dead and gene;
He IS dead and gone.
Al bis head a grasEgreen turf.
Al his heels a stone"
Clara Morris In BTandur's MssRst1a