davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Jones-"Have you seen the new
serial story?" Smith-"No; what is
it?" Jones-"Why, they've added an
other iIoor to the granary. Prince
ton Tiger.
May-"Our links are the best in the
country" Belle "Why?" May
They are so rough that chaperon
simply can't follow one around. y
Town Topics.
1t Sometimes Seems So. THE
trouble is" remarked the successful
man, patronizingly, "that you don't
seize your opportunities" "Oh, l
grab at 'em fast enough, returned
the other; but, darn 'em! they're
CREASED. Chicago Post.
HE must be put out of the way"
said the feudal king. But your maj
esty," protested the lord high execu-
toner, "he is your first cousin" Il
know; but l prefer to have him my
cousin once removed = Philadel-
phia Record.
Hope for the Future. Come,
come" cried the candidates friend,
"don't be disheartened too easily"
"But I'm sure to be beaten replied
the candidate, dismally. Nonsense!
Let your motto be, He who runs and
fights away, may live to run another
day ''-Catholic Standard and Times.
Briggs-''I've got great idea. I'm
going to invent an open street car
in which all the seats are end Seats
Griggs-''Don't you do it. 1t would
be dead failure. 1t is the squeezed
and swcltering people in the middle
who make the end seats so delight
ful."-Boston Transcript.
Not on the Bill of Fare.-He had
taken his country uncle into one OF
the fashionable city restaurants to
dine. Casually he remarked: Are
you fond of ping Uncle Lem?'
81 d'know," replied the old man.
"Call it out in English and mebbe L
en- tell whether I've ever ct none =
not. t."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
QUEEN AMONG FLIRrs.
Grand Duchess Helene, of Russia,
Who IL to Marry Prince Nicholas,
of Greece.

TIE betrothed of Grand Duchess
helene. daughter of Grand Duke and
Grand Duchess Vladimir, of Russia, to
Prince Nicholas, of Greece, the third
con of King George, is the most impor-
tant royal engagement that has been
announced in long time. 1t gains a
particular interest from the fact that
the Russian princess and the Greek
prince are both young, handsome, ac-
complished and general favorites.
Grand Duchess Helene Vladimir
Rovna, the only marriageable imperial
princess in Russia, is perhaps the most
beautiful woman of such degree in
all Europe. She is only 20 years old,
is highly accomplished, renowned for
her wit, and is idolized by the Rus
sian people.
Report has it that the princess has
given the mitten to many royal suit
or and that she has broken many a
royal heart. Certain it is that she has
been sought by princes of many coun-
tries anxious to make alliance with
the Romanoffs and at the same time
get lovely bride.
Now Prince Nicholas-a soldier in
times of war, as he proved right well
when Greece and Turkey fought, but
a litterateur of no mean ability in
the piping times of peace; young,
handsome as Greek god, albeit, he
is merely prince; successful dram
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
HE NEVER SPOKE AGAIN.
Ventriloquist's Dog Rebels at Being
Deserted by His Master and
Expresses His Anger.

The following story Is tolu OF
sentriloquist, now famous, but at the
time of this happening so hard up he
used to walk between the cities
where he was to appear. On one
of these tours he came to Philadel-
phia on foot, and on the road he
picked up a miserable little dog "be-
cause il looked so much like he
felt" The story will explain what
became of the dog, says the Phila-
delphia Times.
The first house he came to was a
saloon, and, of course, he wanted a
drink He had no money, but went
in anyhow to see what he could do.
The proprietor, German, said:
sWell what will you have?"
He said: III take little whisky"
and then, turning to the dog, he
asked:
"What will you have?"
"The answer came very promptly:
'I'll take ham sandwich
The German was so surprised he
almost tainted. He looked at the
dog a moment. and then asked:
"What did you say?"
The dog replied:
II said ham sandwich"
Hans thought it wonderful that a
dog should be able to talk, and asked
who had trained him, how long il
had taken, ETC., and wound up with:
SLOW much you take for him?''
"Oh," said Mr.. Ventriloquist, Il
wouldn't sell him at any price, but
I am a little hard up now. and If
you will lend me $50, I'll leave him
with you till 1 bring the money
back"
"All right" said Hans. 81 just want
him for a little while so i can show
him to some smart people 1 know
around here"
So everything was settled, the
money paid, etc. and, as the ventrilo-
auist went out he turned and waved
his hand to the dog and said:
swell, good-by, Jack, I'll come
back soon"
"You mean son of gun, to sell
me for $50, after all I've done fol
YOU! So help me Moses, I'll never
speak another word as long as
live!"
And he didn't.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Have you a dark blue pain in the small
of the back, do you experience hot flashes,
are the whites of your eyes turning yell
low, with dark blue rings under them,
do you experience loss of appetite, have
you that tired feeling in the morning with
loss of memory when your wife asks you
to order the groceries, are you startled out
of your sleep by dreams of being dragged
through eight yards of lead pipe by seven
bald headed angels, II so, it is not safe
to neglect this condition, or it will grow
on you. Get out and hitch onto few of
the weeds in the garden or on the empty
lot, and lift them out before breakfast.
times that are left out on the line. All
this is sovereign remedy for that state
of mind which used to be known as the
"charlie hoss.' .'-Minneapolis journal.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

1t was warm Sunday morning in
church. Fans were fiuttering, hym-
nails Hopping, handkerchiefs mopping
streaming faces. and the minister
thought his audience little lax in at
tention. Finally he led up to re-
buke on their lack of consideration
for sacred and important things. Said
he:
People are prone to attend to the
unimportant things of life"
And he gave few examples to illus
trate his idea Presently he made his
pertinent application.
SNOW" said he. you are attentive
to your own comfort this morning, to
the sinful neglect of the holy word
Take no thought for the heat" he
said. dramatically, "for you may be
dead tomorrow Detroit Free
Press.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

A pioneer boy found his life an inter
esting one. While still young he re-
ceived careful training in initiating the
notes and calls of birds and wild ami
mails. At IL years of age he became .
foot soldier, with port hole assigned to
him for use in case of an Indian attack.
He received careful training also in fol-
lowing an Indian trail and in conceal
ing his own when on the war path. For
expert knowledge of this kind was nec-
essary in the midst of dangers from
unseen foes that were likely to creep
stealthily upon the settlers, whether
they were working in the clearings or
hunting in the forest.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
Catarrh Of Stomach.

"It is with pleasure recommend Pc
runa as tonic of unusual merit. A
large number of prominent members of
the different Orders with which have
been connected have been cured by the
use of Pcruna of cases of catarrh of
the stomach and head; also in kidney
complaint and weakness of the pelvic
organs.
at tones up the system. aids diges-
ton, induces sleep, and is well worthy
the confidence of sufferers of the above
complaints. r-H. s. Emory.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
SOCIETY IS PLEASED.
Wife to Receive n Cordial Wel-
come at Washington.

Unusual interest is manifested in
diplomatic, official and social circles
of Washington in the prospective ar
rival of the new British ambassador,
Mr.. Michael Henry Herbert, and his
American wife, the daughter of Mr..
Richard T. Wilson, of New York.
1t is not yet definitely known when
they will arrive here and take pos
session of the embassy on Conneeti-
cut avenue, but the impression pre-
walls that they will hardly come be-
fore the early fall. The custom has
been to close the embassy during
the summer. Lord Pauncefote, the
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
NFE'{k||$S|psaEY|n '{||S|p
sY1fssyylasQza1Ilag sYfsyljs
WALKING FOR BEAUTY.
Pedestrin ism ls the Best Form Of
Physical Exercise n Woman
Can Indulge In.

Physicians of the best reputation,
who have closely studied the matter,
unhesitatingly assert that walking is
the best exercise woman can engage
in for the development of her physical
charms. The woman who is in the
habit of taking the street cars for
every three blocks she wishes to travel
is the one who has bad complexion
and complains of growing stout. She
will tell you that her spine troubles
her, that her feet are rheumatic, that
she cannot walk-positively must not
do so.
III you are among that number say
nothing but get to work and walk.
Take walk every day, give up the
street car habit unless you have some
real riding to do or time is an object,
and every day walk little farther.
An excellent thing is exercise and
II you do not find walking agrees with
you then take to the gymnasium. Aft
er you have tried all the physical cul-
ture exercises try the open air ones.
A delightful open air gymnasium is
situated on the banks of the Susque-
hanna. 1t is in the ground of a great
millionaire. who built it for one of
his daughters, girl who was delicate
from girlhood. In the gymnasium
there are high walls, but the Enclosure
is so great you do not feel as though
hemmed in, yet there is privacy.
On, day with her friends she plays
as Diana of the chase. Taking bow
she pulls stiff string and sends the
arrows flying with all her strength.
This is magnificent exercise for the
Mngs.-Chieago Chronicle.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

The only safe course to take is to keep
the blood pure. digestion good, and
sleep regular. No remedy equals in all
respects, Peruna for these purposes. It
the system is run down and weakened
by catarrh, Peruna renovates and re-
juvenates the nerves and brain.
A book on the catarrhal diseases OF
summer will be mailed to any address,
upon request, by The Peruna Medicine
Co., Columbus, Ohio.
The above testimonials are only two
of so, 900 letters received touching the
merits of Peruna as catarrhal tonic.
No more useful remedy to tone up the
system has ever been devised by the
medical profession.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.

ing a ritiful taleAof canary that had its
leg broken in such a way that amputation
was necessary. The ladies of the party
were lamenting over the sad affair, when
one Young woman. wishing to relieve the
pressure, remarked: 20. WELL the little
thing can get along nicely on three legs" ;"
As the other members of the party started
to laugh. she said hurriedly: 20, sure
enough. it has only two legs. was think
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
CONGRESSMAN ALDRICH
ENDORSES THE TONIC, PERUdA.
Says: at Will Build Up =
Depleted System
Rapidly"

Hon. w. F. Aldrich, Congressman
from Alabama, writes from Washing
ton, d. c.:
"This Is to certify that Peruna, man.
ufacfnred by The Peruna Medicine Co,
of Columbus, o., has been used In my
family with success. Ills fine tonic
and will build up q depleted system
RAPIDLY. lean recommend 1t 10 those
who need a safe vegetable remedy for
debility. "---W r. Aidrich.
H. S. Emory, Vice Chancellor and
Master of Arms, X. p. S, of Omaha, Neb.,
writes from 213 North Sixteenth street,
the following words of praise for Peruna
as a tonic He says:
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
His Place.

"Why is it, asked thefhappy bridegroom,
after the ceremony was over. and the
friends were crowding about with their
congratulations and good wishes, that
one hears so much about the june BRIDE,
while the june bridegroom is relegated to
the background
But nobody heard him, and he realized
that he belonged there, Though he smiled
and tried to look as if he were one of the
star performers.-Chicago Tribune.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

"Brutus,' said Cassius, when Marc An
tony had mobilized two or three corps of
legions and got his eightinch rapid fire guns
into play, Il have no longer any stomach
for war"
"Well," replied Brutus, after his custom
ary FIVE minutes for thought, ''having no
more casns belli, we might as well lay down
our arms"
And it took Caesar another FIVE minutes
TO figure ont the deadly entendre that lay
in the words of the nnblest Roman OF them
ail.-Portisnd Oregonian
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

For the new Daily Limited train to Cali
fornia to be placed in service November l,
1902, by the Rock Island System and South
ern Pacific Company, via the Ell Paso Short
Line. The competition is open to the pub
lie and conditions involve no fees of any
kind. For circular of instructions, address
at once Jno Sebastian, Passenger Traffic
Manager, Rock Island System, Chicago.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
WordIess ThonEhts.

to his offspring, who was going forth into
the world to do for himself and to do 9TH
ers, ''that there are times when it is best
to saw wood and say nothing"
That's right, dad,' replied the wise in
nocent. ''If a fellow was to say what he
thinks while saving wood it might affect
his standing in the church. Chicago Daily
News. ~ -.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Always.-Old Gotrocks latter signing
will)-"Therei There's no way under the
sun in which my relatives can get up row
after I'm gone. I've remembered each and
every one of them Family Lawyer (grim-
iy)-ssYes. But-er-'Where there's will
there's always a way IN. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Philosophic.-P -Poorman"It' so hard to
be economical. Many time get wishing
| was a Russell Sage or something" Cum
mazy-"Hua, he's worse off. Ii it's hard
to be economical when you have to, just
think how much harder it must be when you
don't have o"-Philadelphia Press.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

"I'll teach you - make love to my
daughter! J"
whats the use? She has alread,
taught me Life
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
Nervous Debility.

Everyone who is in the least degree
subject TO nervousness, sleeplcssness,
prostration, mental fatigue or nervous
debility in any form, finds the hot
weather of June, July and August very
hard to bear, if not dangerous.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Don't Get Footsore! Get Foot-Ease.
A wonderful powder that cures tired, hot,
aching feet and makes new or tight shoes
easy. Ask to-day for Aliens Foot-Ease.
Accept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

1t is said that the flint which forms
the substratum of London is nothing
but petrifie ed sponges. An examina-
ton Of the fossil sponge, or Clint,
elbows its structure.-N. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Judge-I can see dissipation written On
your face.
Remns (frightened)-Yo' kin, sab? Well,
deed All didn't write it, cause can't spell
sech a long word.-Chicago Daily News.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Yeast-If money did actually talk
what do you suppose it would say?"
Crimsonbeak - Good-by! Yon.
kers Statesman.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
A HaIIucinntion.

$50 you think you need wife?"
eyes"
swell, nothing but marriage will
dispel that illusion!"-Puck.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Hes such young man to have
gray hair" she commented.
"Yes," he answered, "and he isn'i
married, either. brooklyn Eagle.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Fruit stains may be removed from
linen as follows: Tie up some cream
of tartar in the stained part and let
il boil in soapsuds for few minutes
Then wash and rinse in clear water
and the stain wiz be gone.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15
worldly Wisdom.

Father-In choosing wife, one
should never judge by appearances.
Son-That's right. Often the pref
tiest girls have the least money!
Puck.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

There is probably nothing more pointed
than the finger of scorn.-Chicago Daily
News.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalli-
Bile medicine for coughs and colds:-N. W..
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

To Cure . Cold I'm One Day
Take Laxative Bromc Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money If it falls to cure. 25c.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

To be thrown upon ones own resources
Is to be cast into the very lap Of fortune
Franklin.
The Colfax chronicle., 1902-11-15

Better use blarney than vitriol.-Atchi
con Globe
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
ELECTION IN Porto RICO.
Passed Quietly eaando9 Resulted
Sweeping Republican, Victory.

SAN JUAN. P. R1.NoVamber 5.-There
were no serious disorders anywhere in Porto
Rico yesterday The election, which re-
suited ip a sweeping rspyblican victory,
passed off quietly. sbhis was largely due
to the fact that Gov. KANT gent twenty-five
special representativesdc svsring the whole
island, with plenary powers to adjust differ
epces summarily. as
Federico Degetau was Reelected resi-
dent commissioner een washington by a
large majority. nj n7!toe-
The federals have stem ;sdelegates in the
legislature, and the republicans twenty
five ioi ~a'u
In most of the tdfbufeft districts and
cities-Guayama. Cayey, San Lorenzo,
Albonito and ofhers-ttle federals. through
intimidation, abstained entirely from vot-
ing and lost five delegates to the legisla-
ture ~ ez: -.,s
Fraud was charged everywhere, and the
government has promised prompt prosecu-
tons.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
Drink Habit
Permanently Cured
WITHOUT THE PATIENTS KN0wL EDGE,

"oRRINE'' is preparation based on we'll
chemists OF many years standing. 1t is taste
less, odorless, colorless and entirely without
any bad effects whatever. 1t can be given in
water, milk. tea or coffee, without the pa
tents knowledge.
In NEST cases the craving for liquor is not
mere habit but. a disease, requiring more than
wfll-power to cure it. We positively guarantee
that "oRRINE" will destroy all desire for al
eoholic stimulants in any form, and win
refund the money should 1t fail to do so. But
1t never falls! 1t tones up the diseased stom-
ach and gives hearty appetite and good
digestion. Steady nerves soon follow its use.
Booklet lsealedl mailed free on request.
"ORkINE" is endorsed by the W. @. T. u,
public men, clergymen, physicians, members
OF the u NJ. C. A., and thousands OF others.
Mr.. B. F. Smith, President OF B. r. Smith
Ffreproof Construction Co., Washington, d. c.,
writes Numerous cases have come under my
observation Of the wonderful power of your
remedy for alcoholism. I envy you the great
opportunities you have to bring Joy, happiness
and health to mankind May you prosper in
your good work" ss@
81 PER Box-s BOXES FOR IS.
Z : Sent in plain sealed package, all charges
prepaid, by ORRINE CO., Pope building, WASH
angton, D, C.s or may be purchased from
Sims, I4th ST. and N. Y. ave.: Evans, $40 F
ST.; Afaeck's, 1429 Pa. ave.; Atkinson's 18th and
G sts: Arlington Drug Store, Vt. ave. and II
Of. NV. So no5-w&s to $3.50 60-1
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
IN A DRUNKEN ROW.
One Woman Killed and Another Fa-
taIlv Wounded.

PLATTSBuRGH, N. z, November BIN
a drunken row at Saranac Lake last night
John Mooney shot and killed a woman
named Bessette, fatally wounded his sister.
Miss Mooney, and shot John Mcclellan
through the lungs. Mcclellan will recover.
Mooney was arrested and Charles Merrill
was taken Into custody as an accompIice.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
STRAPPED TOGETHER.
Bodies Of Man and Wife Found in g
Canal

SYRACUSE, N. Y, November 5.-The two
bodies found in the canal here yesterday,
bound together by a heavy strap. have been
identified as Mr.. and Mrs. George Clark of
this city. The man was porter and the
woman a charwOman. Clark was out of
work and his wife was about to become a
mother.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
DECLARED INVALID.
Kruger's Proclamation Abrogating
Payment of Rent.

PRETORIA, November 5.-A decision
which has been handed down by the SUI
preme court, declaring former President
Kruger's proclamation of October, 1899 alb
rogating the payment of rent and interest
during the South African war, to be in
valid, has produced CONSERVATION here and
in Johannesburg. sz..-..-
Although it is expected that many of the
better class landlords and creditors will &C
cept a compromise, this decision will mean
ruin to many who relied upon the procla-
nation to escape payment of rent, etc.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
PERU's NEW CABINET
As Organized by Eugenio Larrabure-
Unanue Takes Oath Of Office.

LIMA. Peru. November 5-The members
of the new cabinet organized by Eugenio
Larrabure-Unanue win take the oath of
Office today. The portfolios have been as
signed as follows:
1 President of the cabinet and minister Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-05
foreign affairs-Eugenio Larrabure-U nanue.
Minister of home affairs-Dr. Rafael VII

Minister of Justice-Telemaco Orihuela.
Minister of war-Commander Manuel A.
Villavicencfo.
Minister of finance-Pablo Sarria.
Minister of public works-Dr. Ravid Mat
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-02-09

sibly desire to make another fellows for
tune out Of pure benevolence. one"
Naturally suspects him, interruptad
the stranger. Il do not blame YOU. /
may tell you. however, that I am acting,
merely as confidential agent. NV princip9I
is one whom you-and everyone else
know well, and whose motives are above
suspicion. This distinguished gentleman
mas noted your name as one whom he
would be ready to benefit in certain
way which is his secret If vol. care TO
Iearn IN whose name 1 am now speaking
L snail be pleased to inform you on re-
celVIng your word of honor that Won will
never under any circumstances whatever
divulge it," -
Well. I don't see what harm could
come OF my knowing that much. any
way" laughed Royce.
cave me your formal word that what
L now tell you shall go no farther"
Yes--I give it; 1 undertake to keen the
knowledge secret from all the world
supposIng that your communicative
proves to have been made bona fide and
mat you have spoken the simple truth y
Good. Listen then; his name is Sir
Bruce Thornton" 90
Royce started violently: Sir Bruce was
one OF the greatest names in the med
ical directory of perhaps the most learn
ed existing writer upon bacteria and
their development, etc
impossible" said Royce '"Yhv on
earth should Sir Bruce interest himself
about me?"
He viii explain that and other mat
tiers if you care to call and see him.
The immediate result of this CONVEX
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-02-09

Britton VS.. Board of Election Commits
sioners, 81 Pacific Reporter, Ills, it is he'd
that the primary election law excluding
all political parties which did not cast at
the next preceding election at least per
cent of the total votes, is a violation of
those sections of the constitution which
give to the people the right to freely as
semble together to consult, for the COM
mon good, and provide that no citizen or
class of citizens shall be granted privi-
leges or immunities which shall not be
granted. upon the same terms, to all citi-
zens. The court holds that this law not
only discriminates between political par
ties and the members thereof, but works
the disfFanchisement of voters, or COM
pels them, if they vote at all, to vote
for representatives of a political party
other than that to which they belong
Justice Garoutte, in a dissenting opinion,
rather destroys the force of this holding
by pointing out that under the Australian
ballot law, in force in California, politi-
cal parties which cast less than Ter
cent of the votes at the next preceding
election would not be allowed to place
their nominees upon the ballot and that
no substantial benefits could he derived
by such party by participating In pri-
mary elections. He also points out that
a voter is allowed to cast his vote for
the delegates of any party represented
upon the ballot, with the result that Dem