The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-09-21
Fun OF TIE WORLD.

FUN OF THE WORLD.
The Rev R Perry Bush Of Chelsea. Mass. an
ADDRESS before the convention Of the Massachusetts, En-
balmers Association week related this story
stufIy undertaken and funeral.
entered the church" said Mr.. Bush I
greeted by The undertaken in charge who said: I
stand here. pointing half up The pulpit steps
prefer to stand either the TOP the bottom
replied Then can see my audience
-you stand where ! tell YOU the I'm
running this funeral
But you are not running me answered. and
viii give just Withdraw your order
set another minister And took Out my watch and
commenced TO count OF the seconds At the thlrtieh
he said: Wen. stand where you darn please
And I did. exclaimed Mr.. Bush
zEz
The other day an inauisitive lady talking with
James Whitcomb Riley how poorly PAID the pro-
fession Of literature But. Mr. Riley" she surely
you have complaining. You be d very
rich l understand you get d dollar a al
you write" .Ye-e-es madam" said Riley. with his
slew drawI but sometimes sit all day and cant think
a d-n word"
K
George William Curtis one Of the most popular lee
q village the OF New York.
In view Of party differences, they begged him
talk politics He had nothing in readiness except lee
Thackeray. Nobody the audience had read
OF his novels curtis illusions and
the void. AT the close chief per-
TO him. Mr. Curtis
master you must bring about a agreement among Us
point For a week we have been disputing over
Isongfellcw whether he's dead isn't Il dned
with him, Cuhtis "a fortnight ago All
said the schoomaster visiby disappointed. Anyhow
I'm somebody is dead"
<
is related Irish coachInan that his medical
adviser prescribed animal the best meals
storing health and activity. Patrick said you're
down bit that's What you need is animal
food Remembering his few days afterward.
called upon Pat at the stable Wei. Pat" said he.
how are you getting on with the treatment" ~oh.
shure. sir Pat replied. "Oi all right the
grain and oats. but mighty hard with the chopped
hay"
&c Z x
Now. rather pride myself ability to read
character" said the who given buying de-
ective tales and yet why should /? really very
simple thing-requires nothing but close observation For
instance. is very easy a occupation. Ills
facial expression his his dress stamped
by daily work. sitting opposite us
Well l just though he had told me that
he is barber
You are mistaken" replied his friend THAT is
butcher"
impossible" exclaimed the amateur detective. You
never a butcher with slim. white hands ike his
Perhaps not" admitted other is
butcher. just the same"
How do you know he is?'
How ! know? Why, the scoundrel shaved NE
once"
K
There are ways in which man add. II not
cubit a fracuon OF TO his stature The
average neither noceably short OF nouceabiy tail
il not greatly concerned height often does
not know what When he has 10 come up to the
fixed physical requirements position. however
Importance The anguish Of would-be
fireman policeman fraction Of an inch under the
minimum requirement. has never been adequately sex
forth That the human comprehensive and
tcnsble to considerable degree. has been taken
advantage these trials In weekly
there has appeared for the
last few issues this startling advertisement
BE suspended So-and-So's gymnasium Tor ten min
and grow a half-inch taller
* 8s
medical examiner OF the Pension Office who occa-
sionaIy makes business down south was recently
giving Of his experiences while in the Palmetto
had business down the coast near Port Royal
and after week OF made for small station
a lumber road tapping the main line 10 Charleston.
some miles beyond. Reaching the depot small shanty
perched upon his pile above the surrounding swamp.
he proceeded thcket office to purchase the nee
essary transportation OF the wilderness The sdins
panel in the the ticket and telegraph Office
was down and on it was the announcement that the
going agent had of fishing and might be ex-
pected back in the OF day two.
Going out on platform reoonnoitre he found
aged darky seated in the shade back Of thu building
smoking corncob pipe lie evidently belonged the
school upon the appearance OF the visitor he
arose courtly bow and remained standing while
being addressed
Upon being asked the arrival Of The train. he
said. Yo might well take seat an set down. boss,
an make yo'se home Dat train is pinted Ter De-
here clock but il IT, gets here az SHUTDOWN you
be mighty lucky"
He proceeded entertain the traveller sth Some
stories of the past when nc coschman in ~
household "Marse General Wade Hampton Re was
real good taIker quaint reunisceuces 81 the
halcyou DAYS "befo Dr. wah and the special examiner
was disappointed when the old mans fo~ o.
ntebeluua history Intercepted by the shrek 81
Dr. d al ~ As
platform he glanced AZ bis watch found The hands
pointing exac1iy al the hour Of one
Turning To the man said. Look here. uncie.
What 90 you mean by telling lice about this ssh-
You would have n wait hours for tn train
ard here comes rolling the Got q tire
The psined expression On face ~ The old
way r. a Yery broad grin 80 De answered. ~i-aws
mussy boss Amt Bin yin So. Dat dars CAS- befgF
y.stiday train