The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-01-25

with them about ~ singular case. It's
rather unfortunate for the patients
sometimes. and disastrous to the pub
lie. but nothing is done about IL. I
suppose lawyers are the same way
with regard to their own special license
to be oinniscient; but the lawyers can
not go broadcast through the land
sowing SMALLPOX.
I've often wondered what kind of a
convulslon of nature and society there
would be IL u woman doctor should
once happen to have u smallpox case
which she, In the innocence of her
heart. should Diagnose as measles or
whooping-cough. Wouldn't there be
n row? | suppose we women, if we
should once get case of smallpox
when we were doctors, would want to
tell about IL so much that we should
quite unconsciously establish an cf-
fective quarantine. know if I were
a woman doctor and should become
suspicious that l had a smallpox pa
tient l should be so proud of my ACUTE
ness in having discovered 1t that I
should Immediately proceed to sound
the tocsin and warn all the boards of
health in the state. But men doctors
are different.
/ have been gathering opinions
medical and otherwise. concerning the
disease. MY collection is voluminous
and interesting. 1t must surely be of
value 10 the community. Concisely it
is embodied in the following rules and
axioms, warranted to be authoritative:
/. Be vaccnated at once If not soon
er.
9. Don't be vaccinated at all. or. If
at all, wait until the smallpox comes
next door.
3. Be vaccinated on the arm; it is
safer.
4. Be vaccinated on the leg: it takes
better and there is not as much dam
ger.
S. Be sure to wear shield.
6. Do not wear a shield
Z. If it does not take, you are i'm
mune.
s. If it does not take you must has
ten to be vaccinated over even to seven
times. Otherwise you are in imminent
peril of catching the smallpox.
s. Small poX invariably appears three
days after exposure.
8. Small pox seldom is evident until
fully two weeks have expired.
10. 1t is tie easiest thing in the world
to diagnose small poX: certain symp-
tons are always present.
IL. 1t Is almost impossible for the first
few days to distinguish small pox from
chicken poX or the German measles.
Now there you have an assortment of
opinions from which to choose. Pick
out the ones you like the best.
The only possible advantage in hav-
ing the disease, would be the opportun-
ity of possessing an entire new ward
robe if you live through it. But then
there would also be the drawback in
the fact tnat you would probably be
non persona grata at the homes of all
your friends for some years after re-
covery. So what would be the good of
new clothes?
One result of the vaccination fad is
the sudden unpopularity'o affectionate
conduct among friends. Some people
never can be near you at card party
or anywhere else without Familiarity
laying hand on your arm. The num-
Der of rebuffs which these individuals
receive nowadays should be dis
couraging to an Objectionable habit to
which hardly one of us can plead mot
guilty.
They were talking about snobs the
other day and it set me to thinking
an unusual process. l don't recall an
adequate definition of the term How
will this do? a snob is person who
affects to be very fastidious about the
record and ancestry of the friends
whom he chooses in order that his
friends may not be very fastidious
about his. Nearly always his bluff
fails but he seldom finds it out.
1t is odd though how very certain a
snob is to have "Reminiscences camp on
his trail as soon as evidences of his
snobbery begin to peep out. People
who have only thought of him kindly
for years, if they have thought of him
at all. will suddenly unlock the ceme-
terry of memory where they have buried
dead gossip and they will dig up the
most unpleasant things which once
were appurtenances of that snOb. AW-
fully unsavory work, too, but they
never seem to mind.
There are always so many remains.
They will go down SO very far too,
perhaps actually to the bones of his
great grandfather's reputation and
they will prove that this gentleman
ought to have been hung If he wasn't.
Then they will take his grandfathers
and grandmothers au seriatim. One of
them, possibly ran away with his neigh
boris wife-it will be recalled that she
was very pretty woman while his
own wasn't-and another conlided to a
friend that she had often to help her
lord and master up the stairs on lodge
nj iul, pprhnnS 1ara
groceryman or only a pedlar, like John
Jacob Astor Dear me, there is no
guessing what dark stains may not
be discovered on the scutcheon of
snob when people once find out his lit
tie game.
After they get through with his
grandparents, they will begin on aunts
and uncles following with his father
and mother, often with pathetic re-
suits; but il must be done you know.
Then they reach the victim, himself.
BY that time there is but very little
left of him, still enough to be inter-
esting to the student of vivisection.
They recall how he stole apples when
Il small boy and how he behaved per-
fectly disgracefully at a party when he
was about sixteen, and how Susan Ell
len Jinks refused him and how he used
TO work in a store before he made his
money and who his wife's relatives
were and "really, my dear, her grand
fathers step-mother used to live over
my grandmother's stable" Oh, il the
poor little snob only knew it, his
friends are having beautiful time in
their excavations and all the while it
IaN to tn