Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1902-05-03
Autmuraas department.
Sayings of Tom Nolan.

the New York bar and bars, Coun-
sellor Thomas Nolan, have been pub
lished. In the counsellor's lifetime he
was followed from court to court by
those who thought his eloquence more
inspiring and entertaining than any
performance to be heard in theatre
or any other place Of public entertain
ment. Now, Charles Frederick Stans-
bury has compiled collection Of stor-
les about Counsellor Nolan which will
embalm for all time his peculiar genius
for guying and being guyed. With the
leave of the publishers, the Nab Press,
The Sun reproduces few of the hum
dreds of anecdotes which fill the book:
At the Democratic convention at
Kansas City. Counsellor Nolan was
found sitting on a stoop in side
street. A friend said:
How are you getting along, Tom?'
"I have been buncoed. I come out
here and spent pile of money. when
I could have twice the fun for less
money at Coney Island"
ION one occasion" said the late
Father Slatterly, Tom Nolan called
upon me at my home. and after
few words of greeting, the conVersa-
ton took a turn something like this:
Thomas" said 1, the Widow O'Far-
reilly informs me that her boy has got
into some kind of foolish scrape and
has fallen into the clutches of the law.
Now, as Mrs. O'Farrelly and the boy
Patrick are parishioners of mine whom
I have known for many years, am
naturally anxious that the boy should
have an opportunity to exculpate HIM
self. I understand that you have been
retained to defend him and I desire to
know the status of the matter and its
probable outcome"
your riverence," replied Nolan, in
a hoarse stage whisper. "tis upon that
very matter that I called upon you.
AS regards the chances of the case, l
feel sure that with your riverence's 8
inflooence and a little perjury I can
get the bye off,"
The barrister having failed to win
a case for a poor woman client, be-
came oratorically pathetic and bewail-
ed the lack of justice in this world.
ME poor Client" said he, "is little
likely to get justice done her until the
Judgment day."
"Well, counsellor" said the court, in
the person Of Judge Dugro. 'if I have
opportunity I'll plead for the poor
woman myself on tnat day."
your honor" replied Nolan, "will
have troubles of your own upon that
day."
Mr.. Nolan was once retained by the
defendant in a suit at law brought to
recover payment of a gas bill, in which
q witness for the plaintiff was asked:
ION what evidence do you conclude
that sixteen thousand seven hundred
and forty feet of gas has been burned
during the month by the defendant?"
ION the evidence of the gas meter"
was the answer.
At which the barrister impulsively
exclaimed: II wouldn't believe gas
meter under OATH"
One day the barriSter was trying a
case before judge who was rather
notorious for having his decisions re-
versed by higher court. The oppos-
ing counsel happened to be an old
schoolmate of Toms, and during the
recess the two went to dine together
They absorbed more liquid refresh
ments than was beneficial, and on their
return to the court room both were in
a rather maudlin condition.
The case was called. The giant form
of Nolan Strengthened up. and, with
the diminutive opposing counsel braced
against him for support, went down
the aisle of the court room. All eyes
were centered on the pair.
Counsel for the plaintiff" called the
court.
Here, your honor" came like a cy-
clone from Tom.
The judge looked over his glasses at
the two lawyers, and, as an amused
twinkle came in his eye, said:
II think we had better postpone this
case until tomorrow"
"And why, might I ask, your hon.
or? Me learned friend here is ready
and so am l."
well. if you wish to know, counsel
lor," replied the judge, II do not think
that either. of you gentlemen is in a
fit condition to argue the case"
Tom blinked at the judge for mo-
ment from under his shaggy eyebrows
and then thundered out:
THANK ye, your honor. I have ar
gued cases before your honor for the
last twinty years, and 1 must say that
this is the first time I ever knew we
to hand down an inconthrovertible
daycision." A roar of laughter, in
which the judge joined. filled the court
room, in the midst of which Tom and
his diminutive friend turned about
face and marched out.
SwAYED BY ELOQUENCE-RepreSe