The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-02-07

served up at the banquet this evening?
He seems to he hard as nails"
Huh" answered the chief of the Can
nibal isles, II read in a book of poetry
left by our last meal that the bravest
are the tendcrest.' baltimore -Ameli-
can.
Now" said the Northern visitor, IF
there was :: colored man iii your COM
munity. who had proved himself to be a
law-abiding, sensible man, would You not
give him a lift:"
We'll. suh," replied the Southerner,
his chances of being lifted wouldn't he
so very, strong. We don't generally
lynch that kind, sub. "-l'hiadelphia
Press.
irogrcssing.-"Howa are You getting on
with your new house, Maude?" oh:
just splendid. Harry is letting me select
all the cololS for the parior. drawing
room, dining room and bedrooms, and aft
or he gets some money he's going to SEQ
somebody about building !"-Baltimore
News.
There is IL young man downtown. TO-
ports the Philadelphia Record. who has
the trick, or ilatit. Of saying: Since
you press me- On being offered a cigar
he answers Smilinyly: Well since you
press me. l will, thanks and to an in
vitation to luncheon. to the thcater or to
"a drink his answer is always the same:
Since YOU press ne, | believe | will. :"
1t happens tina. he is engaged to be mar
ricd, and that his fancee has !: little
brother. This lad has heard often and
with much woEderment the phrase
Since you press me- used ON all sorts
Of occasions, and the other night ut Il
dinner party in his house, when. unfor-
tunately there were some strangers pres
emf. he pointed his knife at the young
man and said. III his loud, childish treble
to his father: Papa, why is Mr. Blank
always a-sayin' to sister, Since YOU
Suuprze me: "
Isn't that man IL city bal!
otlici:l:''
Joaklry-"Yc* Didn't you read his
annual report: 1t is full of sweeping
Statements.
-A~cum-"rh::t so? Who is he:'
Joakley-"Ch. OF the Street Cleaning
bureau. '-Ihiladelphia Press.
-:O:-
ie-"Darling. tell me truly, does the
fact that l weigh 100 pounds less than
YOU make amy difference in your love ior
mc!'
Shc--"Of course not. dearest. but some
times | would like to know how it feels
to sit in your lap.'-Brooklyn Life.
The telephone girl and the bill clerk.
to whom she had promised her heart and
hand. were sitting in front OF the fire.
place talking about the happy days to
come when they would be one.
From one little detail to another the
talk finally drifted to the subject of light
ing the fires in the morning. On this
point the young man was decided. He
stated it as his emphatic opinion that
it was wifes place to get up and start
the fires and let her poor, harl-worked
husband rest.
After this decision there was silence
for the space Of about three-quarters OF
Il second. Then the telephone girl thrust
out the finger encircled by her engage
firmly:
nected with the wrong number. Salt
Lake Herald.
Teacher What zone is this in which
we livey'
Johnny-'Temp'rate."
Teacher-'Correct. Now: what is
meant by a temperate Zoney"
Johnny-"It's place where it's freez-
in cold in winter an red hot in sum-
er.'-Philadelphia Press.
She Preferred It.-He-:'It is better
scandal of divorce She"'i WA don't mt
agree with you. My social position is
not so strong at present that I can af-
ter" brooklyn Life.
This is purely conversational joke
hn.l md w lpf0 4 1o,,}
| quoting it. adds that it gives it away to
| write it, but the writing may be worth
| while if only to show how grave and rev
erend senators sometimes get down to
| earth. One senator meets another in !,
cloakroom, by the way. SENATOR" the
second sepator thinks he hears the first
wanted housemaid? All" the sec-
ond senator replies. II should 90 to in
employment agency, but Mrs. Senator
usually attends to that sort of thing
Indeed" says the first SENATOR 81 mere
ly wanted to know. For myself should
80 to carpenter and builder Then
the second senator realizes that the first
senator said ''louse made and they eat
IL piece of pie over it.
No; old Mr.. Adoniram Taft did not
precisely doubt the efficacy of prayer"
'Howsumever," said he, II notice tibet
them thet's forever prayin' fer rain or
else prayin' fer it tew quit rainin' don't
seem tew git nuthin' much done, some
|hOw.'-Punch.
Maude-"Gaskell thinks he is reg,,-
lar lady Killer
Esther-"I shouldn't wonder. I had
to talk with him last evening, and
really thought l should die, he wearicl
| me so.'-Boston Transcript.
Antidote for Tragedy.-Winks-" Come
along, old boy. I've got two compliments
airy tickets for dramatic performance"
!inks-''Tragedy Or comedy?' ''Trage-
dy.''. II don't like tragedies. They ap-
peal 50 strongly to ones sympathies that
l always feel blue for a week. ''This
one won't. You'll come home as Jolly