The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-01-09
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hubby; you may have made the cake
oil alone, as you say, but who helped
you to lift 1t out of the oven?"
Mrs. Guinnivoice-I never have any
trouble with baby. I've only to sing to
him and he goes right of to sleep. Mrs.
Phaser-What a knowing child!-Bos-
ton Transcript.
AT the church door: Are you one Of
the wedding party?" asked Mr. Fresh.
the usher. "Only the groom. Dor't
mind me-" replied the prospective ylc-
tim.-Baltimore World.
Mlnnck-Well. there was one thing
remarked about your wife the first time
l saw her-she was undoubtedly out
spoken. Henpeck don't say! BY
whom?-Philadelphla Press.
Bridget, were you entertaining a
man IN the kitchen last EVENING""
"Will, mum, thot's FIR him Z say. oil
done me best wild tn intervals at hand.
mum."-Phlladelphia Bulletin.
Showing John Bull Around: And
what is this?" asked the visitor. 'Thls
is Wall street. Ii is the most cele-
brated Of all our American watering
places. Our Dumb Animals.
A good thing: Consulting Physician
DO you think the patient can stand
an operation? Family Doctor-Can he
stand It? Why. my dear sir. the man
Is millionalre.-Town Topics.
Mrs. Boerum Observation-Disclosures.
I can not make Willie mind. Mr.. Doe
rum (sternly) William, do as your
mother wishes. or will make you go
and sit In the coy corner.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
The hero: "Who is the hero of this
piece?" asked the man who was COM
ing out of the theater. And the mana
ger thoughtfully replied; THE man
who is putting up the money. Wash
ington Star.
Mrs. Murphy Ito her husband, excit-
edlyl-Run, run for the doctor. Pat. The
child has swallowed the halfpenny you
gave him to play with. Mr.. Murphy
oh. keep your mind easy, Bridget; 1t
was a bad one. nyway.-Tit- Bits.
rs this fast tralnT' asked a passen-
ger, who was tired of sitting at sta
ton at which the train was not sup
posed to stop. 'Of course Il is" was
the guards reply. Il thought so. Would
you mind my getting out to see what 1t
is fast TOT"
Anastasia- Didn't bury Mike, didn't
| bury Tim, didn't bury James and
Jack so think, William, 1t would be
wiser Cor me not to marry again. VIII
liam-Chanee me, Anastasia. dear. Who
knows but the tables may be turned
this ume!-Ex.
Lizzie, does yo' hab dat joyful feelin'
In 20 bones dat's always de forerunner
Of 'possryn for dinner?" I'm. | never
believes ives gwine ter have 'possum
till hab dat Joyful feeln' in my stom-
aeh which is de afterrunner of hablng
had him."-Life.
lie lived untimely: Il have often
thought of what an unfortunate fellow
Jonah was" "How's thatY' why, II
he had turned that whale trick In the
twentieth century. he'd have been In
every soap advertisement in the civiliz-
ed world."-Denver Times.
1T used to be my ambition" said the
bushes sman, ITO accumulate fortune
and then retire" We'll" answered the
friend, haven't you realized itT NO
I've got the money. but | don't dare re-
tire. I've got to stay awake night and
day to keep somebody from getting 1t
away from me. "-Washington Star.
Some Of those foreign dishes on the
dinner menu were puzzle to me- con,
fided the First Seasick- Passenger to the
Second Seasick Passenger, as they
stood conveniently near the rail. "Puz-
zlesY' asked the Second Seasick-Pas-
senger; II guess they were, but | gave
them all up long ago."-Baltimore
American.
81 really don't know what to do
said the vlvaclous woman. 1T Is very
difficult to please the world. What
is the dliiicultyT' asked her husband
"People are so unreasonable In their
comments II you tell all you hear they
say you are a gossip. and If you don't
they say you are stupid and common.
place. Washington Star.
''Where was the battle of Santiago
foughtY asked the teacher. Well
replied the wise youth, "it was begun
near Santiago. Cuba And where
was 1t endedY' 1T isn't ended yet, but
II is expected that the finish viii take
place and the final victory be announe-
ed at Washington, d. G., where the
fighting is still going on."-Chicago
Post.
Eyes" said Farmer Corntossel. "our
how Josiah is devotln a good deal Of
time to games an light literature jes
at present" Isn't that rather un.
profitable pursuit?' Yes. But, you
see. all the cabinet offices an big diplo-
matte places are filed so | reckon
Josiah feels that there amt much else
fur him to do at present Washing
ton Star
Wife-Henry. can't you let me have
some money to-day? Husband-What
lid YOU do with that dollar | let you
have last week? Wife (good-naturedlyi
We'll, had to have new bonnet and
a heavier wrap. and Willie and Katie
needed new shoes, and John had to
have n new suit and Frank new hat,
and Caroline needed new gown. and
NTory a mir nf gloves and David an