New-York tribune., 1902-05-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

An Iowa man. being examined in Washington to
determine his fitness for a consulship. asked:
How many Hessians did George III hire TO come
10 this country 10 fight the Americans during the
Revolution?" He thought for long time. Then he
said: Il don't know. but IT a darn sight more
than went back"
He-Youye seen the pictures of those great din
Ing halls they had IN olden times. with the great
She-Oh. yes. they'd been great for ping pong
wouldn't they?-tfonkers Statesman
One day last autumn Bennett Burleigh the noted
English special war correspondent, encountered
a few miles outside Pretoria by that volcanic
rhetorictan. General Tucker. What he are
you doing out here with that thing?'' asked
the general pointing TO n kodak which slung
round his shoulders.
We'll. sir" promptly replied Mr.. BurIeigh. 'I
was intending 10 take some photographs: but had
known that WAS to have the pleasure OF meeting
you should have brought out a phonograph-'
At this audacity. 1t is said that even General
fuckers stock OF sulphurous ad1ectives ran low.
held 1oof 9esan sefa the o qusy Sn wPyE could you
Mont Pete?' echoed the housewife. why. you
are no resident OF Martinique"
kn&T st dS ,Riag but but I am 9 sgersr , Just lust de
dey sent down dere."-Philadelphia Record.
The white flag Is TO be adopted as an emblem OF
hospitality at the coming Republican State Con-
vention at jefferson City, Mo. As 1t is expected
that the number OF visitors at the time OF the
vention will far exceed the city's hotel capacity
II is proposed that every householder willing 10
receive guests shall hang out a white flag As
soon as the quota OF any house shall be filed the
flag will be taken down.
The Ideal PIan.-The regiment had been ordered
to the front and the colonel was making hasty
preparations TO meet the enemy.
What does all this mean?'' demanded the aston
ished general commanding stopping a moment as
he passed by. inspect the arrangements you
have no ammunition no arms and nothing that
can see in your wagons but baskets of flowers and
ing s y9s sGPe4oF oar s ffd the ss saint
carry on war without hurting anybody
Tribune.
story Is told of a Ceylon planter who wanted to
go away for days shooting. Approaching his
men, ne said: Although myself will be absent
yet shall leave one of my eyes TO that you do
your work" And. to the surprise of the natives
he took out his glass eye. placed 1t on the stump
of tree. and left. For time the natives
worked like elephants; but at last of them.
seizing his tin in which he carried his food ap-
preached the tree and placed 1t over the eye As
soon as they saw that they were not being watched
they all lay down and slept peacefully until sun
First Tramp-I ran across a rich uncle of mine
lately, but after ali l done fer him he wouldn't
First TrampEFer ten years Ive been travellin'
under an assumed name jest to spare his feelins.-
Clown and Country.
The Hon Bill Brown. one of the most renowned
Populist chiefs of Kansas. has been called upon
to be candidate for the legislature again. Mr.
Brown great fame when chairman of the
Committee Railroads In the Kansas House of
Representatives four five years ago by thus
describing a railroad in Pratt County his county:
1T han't got no termini airy endr'
He had been to the boarding school to pay
surprise visit his daughter. his only child. He
had parted from her. proud to be the parent OF
cence of budding womanhood. The principal ac-
Companied him to the door.
Madam" he said, with deep feeling. "I owe you
much hG for the manner IN which S you have reared
NY eG Ghd since 1 she mas oee9 under your care
maiden and some of the girls of her age, who
vision. / feel that have indeed done wisely in
placing her in your charge"
cipa glowing with Satisfaction, ito be the he father
of so large and devoted a family
What do You mean?"
qba TO e9Gh OF 0tneT Said the prin9pa N0
here during the last three weeks to take her out
fha Bits. She is expecting another 'O-mOrrO"-cri'-
A puZzlng question has been asked frequently
and does not appear TO have been answered con-
vincingly 1t is this: why does olive oil cost so
much in this country?' California has olive or
chards which rival the best of those in Italy, Spain
and France. The demand in the United States for
choice olive oil is constant and large Why is 1t
that the price is still so high? Why cannot Cali
foTnia furnish all that is asked for?
prevalent han e was t the Ssh
ton being so much less probable. 1t is said that
speakers voice some one has cut in '9Se 9eng HE
on this hint, woman who had her suspicious
Is listening Instantly from nowhere in particu-
lar; lar IN a strange voice, came indignant
government telephone Exchange at stockhom.
with contrivance the object Of Which, Is to indi
eats 10 the subscriber whether or not the central
dsuitaIo Commercial