The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1902-03-21

mates Of the insane asylums OF the world have not been turned loose
at the polls, and permitted to select from their own number the ma
jority OF The nations lawmakers.
This condition is peculiar to no one nation; ALL SHARE
AL1kE IN THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF THE DISEASED
BRAINS THAT HAVE, IN LATE YEARS. FOUND A WAY
INTO THE LEGISLATIVE HALLS OF THE WORLD. nor does
II signify anything more serious than a lack of care in choosing our
representatives when we cohc a fool in the toga OF a wise man.
Practically the only real harm done by these escaped lunaics is
the blocking Of needed legislation for a time while they urge the en-
actment OF their bills But an offset to this minimum of harm is the
maximum OF humor with which they supply us They are far and away
ahead of any kings joker OF the oldcn days as mirh providers. They
are the real, and only genuine. international humorists.
Who, for instance. could fail to smile at the bill introduced in the
French senate recently by one OF these cranks with a mission" by
which he wished to improve the fcminiuiy of the great European re-
public by lcvying a punishment upon the wearing OF corsets by women
under the age OF 90 years. The wonder is that the tght-laeed mad
anies and maicmosecS did moi, wreak summary vengeance upon one
Of their eorntrymen SO unganant as to propose such an unheard Of
thing rs this. Instead they laughed at his iooishness and drew their
corset strings a bit tighter about their waists.
There was elected to the English house Of commons a doctor,
who had given much thought to the subject Of OSCILLATION. and saw in
the indiscrimnate kissing OF the times much opportunity for the dis
tribution OF disease germs. lie believed II his special mission to put
a stop to kissing for the benefit OF Englands health, and the love that
laughs at locksriths laughed also at this dotorlcgisator. and all
that he succeeded in doing was to provide for a time the mirth for a
nation.
In our state legislatures, and even in the halls of our national con.
gress. we have found many a crank with a mission. a recent example
Of this Is one who proposes To make flirting a criminal odenSe. Could
lie but have his way there would be no more "goo-goo eyes" and the
young mar who presumed to smile at a maid within the sight and
reach OF a minon Of the law would find himself behind the bars of
the police stations. But the hcarlcss representative whose blood has
never been quickcncd by a damsels smile will never accomplish more
than to furnish for a few days a subject for conversation. a laugh or
two for the world, and then he will pass into the oblivion to which
he belongs.
But do these men earn The salaries which are paid thcnnl To be
sure they do. Did not the kings Jester of the past days receive a com.
petence from the hands OF his master, AND DID THEY DO MORE
THAN THESE MODERN MlRTlI- MAKERSi Pay them by all
means, BUT THE MAJORITY OF LOCALITIES WHICH THEY
REPRESENT WOULD PROBABLY FEEL. BETTER salts.
FLED If THEY COULD BE CARRIED AS REPRESENTA-
TIVES AT LARGE. The crank with a mission when seated in high
places sometimes forgcts the real needs OF his constiucnts-thc PEG.
pie who gave him his job