The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-04-06
FUN OF The WORLD.

A sound L laughing lesson in the
little economies OF life Is conveyed oy
a recent French comedy. Of which Emile
Faguet gives an account. with lew
extracts. in the Journal des Deoats- \
certain private secretary was IN the habit
10 get small tips as doorkeeper- he VAS
asked as 20 his total income
Wen set 80 francs month as sec
retary."
But how much Go You make out Of
your work as 1Oorkeepere
oh, ten sous a day, on the average.
only 50 little2"
But you see one car live very wels
in Paris on ten sous a day- Ii Is only tne
la francs a month on which you cannot
live
zzz
In his Office down town in New York
a young man il looked upon as person
of probity and nne moral possibilities
He does not have to be az that 20 keep
his place. Tor ne is rich. and though he
IS the junior party. he supplies the uala
Part Of the capital ard most of tho COM
rnericiaf clevernesS. Every year or two
he goes west 70 pick up some branded
ponies for his polo string. selling OF those
which cannot be easily taught the game
or that have gone wrong in Wind. limb
OF eyesight. his elderly partner. who
was his partner during minority. and
who believes in him utterly as one whom
he himself has moulded by prscept and
example, caught this part OF what the
young man was telephoning the other
day:
Now he careful James: Mr.. Presiding
may come today 10 see that blue roam
mare. You'd better give her a pint Of
whisky, stun a sponge UE her NOSE. ard
inject little coeoaine into her near hind
leg.
"BIess my soulr' exclaimed the old
man: what are you Going2
only seliiag horse to my best friend
the young man answered
<
After dinner one disasreeable night
last week a certain New York physician
looking from his Office window and see
ing the rain beat against the glass. de-
cided that he would have quiet, unin-
terrupted evening At home. He was soon
in his house coat. q novel in his hand.
and tobsccco- smoke was curling around
him. About 10 O'Clock some one rang the
door bell
The doctor is wanted right away at
49, began the caller.
He cant go sir" answered the ser
want quickly. He left word that he was
not well and that unless IL Was a case Of
Well you tel him he must come over;
we need him 20 sit in poker game.
"Oh. you're Mr.. b, are you2 Step
In please. and Iii see.
minute later the servant reappeared
with: The Doctor says he'll be right
over
szsg
The Rev Alexander Allison. Jr.. Of
Philadelphia tells the story OF young
man who took his best girl TO church.
and when the time for collection" came
round. rather ostentatously displayed a
s. gold piece. Presuming upon the en-
gagement TO marry that had been made
by her. the Young woman placed a re-
straining hand upon the arm of her fiance
Why don't be so extrava gant. George"
she exclaimed
oh. that's nothing" he replied. II
always give S when l so TO a strange
church
Just then the deacon came with the
plate and George dropped coin. Ev-
cry thing seemed favorable. and the
young man beamed with a sense Of gem
crosby. Then the minister made the
announcements for the week. and con-
cluded with the wholly unexpected an
nouncement OF the days collections.
THE collection today said he. vas
s.. 20"
George hadn't much to say all the way
to bis faace's home
x * Z
An Arkansas man once wrote 70 IN
quire the price Of a saw mill that wovid |
saw all the various ways that h wanted !
IL 10 saw When he learned by return /
mail that such min would cost him |
81. 500. he replied by postal card. If man /
had 81 500 what in thunder would be 1
want with a sawmill?"
x
General Grant was once attracted BY /
a horse driven by a butcher. and he ppr-
chased the animal for FIVE hundred dol !
lars. few days later. he invited Sen /
ator Conkiiug to drive behind the new |
horse. The Senator criticised the ami /
NAL and said:
Il think / should prefer the nve hun |
dred dollars TO the horse
That's what the butcher thought" |
said General Grant.
x tx
Walton Dean, Sr. once hired an ar
list TO paint his portrait. with the stipu- /
lation that the picture would not be !
accepted and paid for unless Il looked 4
ike himself When the portrait was COM i
pleted It Was sent 20 Mr. Dean. who did 4
not recognize himself. and ahsol utely re- /
fused TO pay the pointer. The painter 1
sued. and Joe Strong. the artist. was /
called ia 10 give an expert opinion. You 4
see the portrait Of ar Dean the lawyer i
asked. No" said Mr.. Strong. ! DO +
not" There Il is said the lawyer 4
pointing 30 the big canvas. Il don't call .
that a portrait: / cali that a map u Mr.. 1
Dear" said Mr.. Strong.
x *
Daniel O'Conueu. the Irish aeitator. /
once complained in the house OF com
mons OF a report or a speech in a Lon
len Newspaper which. be said. PIT tn i
10 bis mouth opinions ne had never ex-
pressed. lie vowed that II the edlsor
5s'i not apologize be would move that
BE- be height To the bar for a breach
D. privilege. Next day the reporter -
re s7eech waited upon o ConueI and
gave a most remarkable explanation
Re stated that during his walk from the
house n bis Office in Fleet street tie
ain STRAINED into his pockets and OBJ
ft4rat the rotes ~ Tho speech. &C.
spt the explanation. said O'Couneu
goed lumoredlv. "hut iet IRE cay that q
mast have been a very oriinsrv shower
n rsin. Tor it rot only washed ous -
-our notebook the speech delivered. bet
vsshed in another II en- entirety dlnsre-t
character
certain drug clerk Rad heard sas
tory ~ tire coIores woman Who. Oh ask
~ for Gesh-coiorea coart- plaster. was
aFen black eV fae ai1sersaaf shop-seaH-
r.. ard he treasured - che sacldfnt. soI,-
~ for an opFoTtan.fr fa initiate TIE
hsrr.uesa - she dealer
Ills egporfsn4fF came ore eveBi7z
comedy coiered Siri r1ep1e1 into tbe
tore where b. vac eurloved-
Z