The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1902-10-25
SLOW PHILADELPHIA
The Funny Filings at the Quaker
CITY Not All Well Founded.
"uainess Men and Politicians Are =.
wide Awake and Enterpri.ing
MS Those of Any Other
Great Community.

never gone beyond the humorous con
slderation of the matter, writes DIR
william Ellis Things, in the Chicag,
= American.
Ahe newspapers have made It III,
Drunt OF humorous thrusts. III,
theme has furnished food for carica
turlsts on occasions when more mo
mentous problems have lain in stun
oering quiescence, lecturers hay,
scored Introductory points about it
ana knights of the "heel and clog
nave come to resort to 1t as vindica.
tlon when old and memorable gray.
haired jokes have failed to find market
IN the playhouses of the beautiful city
of homes.
SO far has this over-indulgence of a
well-taken criticism extended, that one
may hear in England and as far away
as the orient, stories invested with rid
icule for patient Philadelphia, the long
suffering and never-complaining home
OF as lovely and loving community Of
people as God ever made.
certain lecturer in Scotland, COM
memorating the disposition of his FAM
lily said: 81 have three children liv-
ing, and one in Philadelphia, Pa" A
well known long distance walker ath-
lete, losing the championship in a
time walk from Washington to New
York. consoled his defeat and amused
his admirers by declaring that he was
far ahead Of his old-time record. when.
on arriving il the city of Philadelphia.
his feet went 10 sleep, and he was I'M
able to proceed further with his ac-
custoRed agility.
The members OF n flourishing base
ball seam. on alighting from the train
each appeG"ed armed with gigantic
alarm clock which they proceeded to
carry about the town to keep them
| awake.
A still more unfortunate. but actual
occurrence is the one recorded IN the
undertakers' journals that Philadel-
phia is the only city in the world en-
joying the distinction of having had
one of its citizens run over and killed
by an unGertaker's hearse
Actors appease the fancy's fickle foi-
bles by informing us that they come to
Philadelphia and tell jokes one season,
returning the next to find they have
just penetra ed the slumbering per-
ceptions of the easy-gcng citizens.
And thus Philadelphia becomes the
poets theme. the joker's jest, the
caricaturist's hope, while its unaveng- |
ing millions are born live and die in
the deepest affection for the place, I'M
mindful of the thrusts and not infre
quently enjoying them.
have seen consumptives deliber- |
ately refuse the offer of home andcom-
fort, with an almost indisputable as
surance of restoration to health and.
ertainly longer life, in the mountainh |
of the south, southwest and Colorado,
that they might remain in the city OF
their love and die there-seemingly
perfectly contented. In two cases par
ticularly / know that each could have
had every luxury that wealthy and
anxious friends and relatives would
have rendered to go away into the
land of oxygenous air and balmy sun
shine. but they refused to leave-the
one dying when the winter came, ar
the other lingering to-day, held by
barest thread of existence tina
worse than death.
Now. there is serious and
tifc side to the fact of Philadei
slowness as body of people
1t is noticeable that the N
control wealth, who handle gr
porations and engage in vast b
enterprises therein, are alive
business best interests, and
as wakeful a set of men as on
to find in any municipality in tb
This is particularly noticeab
political affairs of Philadelpl
Those who engage in the
trol of the vast city's int
,asional opportunity
world that there is
he politicians oft
ire just the cor
authority betr;
md fidelity
hey will re
hows his al
,e. This s.
lie submiss
'ad. The
While il
f Phil
BUSINESS
lmost an
loyment
ans, and
ubmit to il
nd dread
aid in n,
lie truth.
Dom
If there
frs. Upjohn
er coffee.
nd strong, al
ng of it to nor
ands.
This is why the visa,
y, from whose preseno,
used herself for few
inctly heard through tn
cor the loud, horrifie'
itchen girl;
Ser goodness sake,
OF goin' to feed the &C
orrid black stuff you
re ye?"-Chicago TT
In the Xouni
He-Now that we are
on kiss me. sweethea'
She-I never kisseda
"Nor IN. Y. Hera
$500 ,e-~'set Is over
ties for this food az
ne capitalist. Il 81
,r backing your ne
With naive smile
, him and suggests;
"But it may also be
,te for coal"