davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
In Our Flat,

Agent-You say that you can't sleep
at night? Well. let me sell you a
clock with a luminous face.
Smythe-Don't need it.
Agent-But how can you tell the
lime at night?
Smythe-By the neighbors dropping
tleir shoes, Mrs. Brown drops her
promptly at IL, Mr.. Topfioor at IL and
old Bender at |.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Charcc for a Profit.

why should ! advance money for
your campaign expenses" demanded
the speculator.
Just as business investment"
replied the man who wanted to be a
legislator. Il know something of the
character of some of the measures to
be introduced at the next session. and
| am confident | will be able to de-
clare dividend before 1t is half
over"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Horrible!

lian Tin drug store)-"I want some
consecrated lye.'
Druggist-"You mean concentrated
lye."
Man-''It does nutmeg any differ
ence. That's what | camphor. What
does it sulphur"
Druggist-"Fifteen scents. never
cinnamon a man with so much wit"
MAXWELL, should myrrh. myrrh!
Yet | ammonia n novice n. it."-Ex.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
The Reason Why,

John" asked Mrs. Roland Parke,
"why do you call our front lawn a
grass plot?" ...-.,..-
The perspirins suburbanite leaned
a moment on his trusty lawn mower
after his daily rassle with the tall
grass, and said savagely: t-f
Grass plot? Why. because it looks
like a confounded conspiracy on the
part of the grass to break my back
every summer!"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Increased Interest.

"Did you call that trust magnate to
the stand?"
81 did" answered the man who was
conducting the investigation.
IL suppose he added great deal
to the interest of the case?"
He did. 1t is now more mysteri.
GUS than ever.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
"oId Boy. Has a Mortgage.

Tightfst-They say habit is SO
strong that mans spirit goes right
on doing the same thing after death
that he did in life.
Gainor-1n nat cant be true about
your case.
Tightfst-Why not?
Gainor-Look at your habit of shov-
cling snow from your walk.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
seatinn the Stock Market.

Yes. sir; | have the best of inside
information and | would be glad to
sell you the secret of beating the
stock market"
well. I'll tell you" returned the
cautious stranger. Just you try 1t
first. and if you win"
Yes: if win
why. then you'll be rich enough so
that you won't have to sell any
secrets
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Sweet SYmpaihY.

Mrs. Youngwed-Yes. Mr.. Youngwsd
didn't feel at all well this morning.
SO just made him stay home from the
office.
Mrs. Naybor-Indeed, notice all
your carpets are up. and your back
sheds painted, and
Mrs. Youngwed-Yes. got Mr..
Youngwed to do all that while he was
home to-day.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
THE SPICE OF LIFE
LIGHT SIDE OF THINGS AS SEEN
BY THE TESTERS.
When He Was at Martinique-A Bull
Egg Market-Professor Suggests
Path in Life for Yearnino Soul
Limit on Germ Theory.
Limit on Germ Theory.

Mrs. De Vinne has gone the limit
on her germ theory ..
What has she done now?"
Why, SO long as she only insisted
on boiling the water and milk the
family didn't object, but when her
husband and his brother invited their
ole chums to dinner and she got hold
of the champagne and boiled it. then
there was trouble"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
His Trade.

81 did have a trade onct. am"
said the tramp. but gev it up for
a profession"
profession?"
Il am sticliin' to it. I'm miner by
trade and striker by profession"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Without the PaternaI Check.

She tafter the elopemenD-I have
received letter from my father.
Dear papa is so absentminded.
Hem wha. way?
She-He inclosed lot of millinery
and dressmaking bills and forgot to
put in the money to pay for them!-
New York Weekly
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Domestic Bliss.

Meeker-Did you tell that cook that
| kicked about the roast at dinner
last night?
Mrs. Meeker-Yes.
Meeker-What did she say?
Mrs. Meeker-She said might in
form you. with her compliments that
there were no strings tied to you and
II her cooking didn't suit you it was
up to you to take your meals else
where.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Why Fldo pIdn.t Inte,fers.

Mrs. Jones-"Just think of it, That
fellow came in and actually stole the
clock right off the mantlepiece.
Mrs. Brown-"And your dog was In
the very same room?"
Mrs. Jones-"Yes. but that didn't
count F'ido is only watch dog. you
know
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Mill Worker. In Japan.

All mills in Japan run day and night
and change hands at noon and mid
night. The vast majority of mill
workers are children. who work eleven
hours at low wages. In one mill at
Osaka 1900 workers are under Is years
of age. and operate only 3,7O0 spindles.
In America 300 persons operate the
same number
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Foxy Youth.

She-Really. | don't feel like walk
ing. My feet have bothered me a
good deal lately.
He-You must be exceedingly ner-
vous.
Sha-NervOus?
He-Ycs: otherwise you wouldn't
let such little things bother you.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30

Agent am agent. sir. for the Great
American Universal Encyclopedia OF
History, Biography, Art. Science anu
Literature. complete in two hundred
vol" Business Man-Don't need ii.
/ married II Boston girl.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
ErujtIcss,

Little Willie-Pa. what does this
paper mean by saying it was fruit
less search?
Father-It probably applies. my
son. to the quest of some man who
vas looking for pineapples on a pine
tree,
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
An Admjrjnu Tribute.

A noted Missouri scrapper died re-
Gently, and his admirers raised a
monument over his grave bearing
these words:
"He was always looking for fight
with a man of his owl size. .'-Atchi-
son Globe.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
They Would Cure Him.

81 wish.' she sighed. 81 could break
little Willie of the habi. of calling
names?"
You can" responded the grun
neighbor promptly.
How"
Discharge the nurse and send him
out to play with a few rough boys
some afternoon"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
An Unobliging Man.

mo, they haven't been friends
since they took an ascent together in
the captive balloon"
Did they fall out?'
Not exactly She got angry be-
cause he wouldn't cut their names in
the balloon as memento of the
trip"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
SURGICAL OPERATIONS
How Mrs. Bruce, a Noted Opera
Singer, Escaped an Operation.
Proof That Many Operations
for Ovarian Troubles arc Ur-
necessary.

"DEAR Mrs. PISKmAM Travelling
for years on the road, with Irregular
meals and sleep and damp beds. broke
down my health SO completely two
years ago that the physician advised I.
complete rest, and when l had gained
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Hard on the DOG.

"Billingsley has taught his dog to
sing
Does he sing well?"
He sings as well as Billingsley
could teach him."
Il never heard Billingley. Is he a
good singer?"
well, the dog has been shot at
seven times"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
The Riaht Place.

''Is this where you make trouble?"
asked the little man at whose elbow
stood an aggressive looking woman.
This is the marriage license bu-
reau." answered the man behind the
desk
That's what | meant" said the lit.
tie man, as he sighed and reached
into his pocket for 81.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Real EocIRliat.

81 nebber met such a socialist as
Dusty"
I'm what way?"
why. he was happy when he foun'
out he'd been run over by de old hog
train. At first he thought 1t was
Gould special"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
That's Different.

A Missouri man refuses to accept a
legacy of $4,000 condition al on
hanging his name. There are plenty
1f girls in Missouri. no doubt, who will
large t-eir rames for half the
ltuoiiuf
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
One Definition.

what is politician" asked the
boy.
"A politician" replied his father bit
Sarly, that Is successful politi.
clan. is a man who can evade his
promises without seeming to break
his word"
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Only happened Once.

The Bride Ton the honeymoon)-
Why, you only bought one ticket.
dear.
The Groom-By Jove! I never
thought of myself.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30

A drop of ink is black, but 1t serves
to enlighten many.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30

Tramp-Lady. can't yer help man
who was at Martinique?
Lady tgiving him a dime)-Poor
man. When were you there?
Tramp-About fifteen years ago.
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30
Daniel Wjtter & Co, ATTY. .,,:. and Z Conn 20.

Advice and a sistnnce In matters pertaining tn
the entry of Pubc Land specially. send for our
Settlers Guile. Contests brou ;lt or ief'nied. En-
roneous entries corrected. Seeonj hone t-als st-
cured. ROOM 7. UNION BLOCH, DENVLh. COLO
The Lamar register., 1902-07-30

so the show went through without
a hitch. did it,"
Yes: the success was tremendous.
How do you account for it?"
well. you see, eggs were tremen'
dously high"
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22
Special Katv Rates.

Macon, Ga. and return, sale Oct.
18th and 9Th, rate one fare. Final
limit, Oct. Is, 1902.
St. Louis and return, sale during
Sept, rate 1915. Final limit Oct.
3lst.
Hannibal, Mo. and return, sale
during Sept, rate $2S.75. Final limit
Oct. 3lst, 1902.
Kansas City and return, sale dur
ing Sept, rate $24.75. Final limit
Oct. 3lst, 1902.
Memphis, Tenn. and return, sale
during Sept, rate $40 IS. Final linn
it, Oct. 3lst, 1902.
New Orleans and return, date sale
Nov. 10th and l1th rate one first
class fare; final limit leaving New
Orleans not later than Nov. 18th,
1902.
National Encampment q. A. r.,
Washington, ID. c., and return. sale
Oct. 2, 3 and I, 1902, rate S3l 80. FL
nal limit Oct. 18th, 1902, by paying
fee of soc tickets can be extended
until Nov. 9Th. 1902.
Boston, Mass, and return, date
of sale Oct. & TO Q inclusive; rate
one first class fare; final limit Oct.
18th, 1902.
j. /. HEY, Agent.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Brennan, Tex, Sept PA negro
man, while engaged in cleaning out a
cistern on a place near the old fair
grounds, made a grewsome find. In
one corner of the cistern the skeletons
of two children were found. While
the bones were disunited. they We're
well preserved These skeletons had
evidently been in the cistern for sew
eral years. 1t was impossible to tell
whether they were those of white or
black children. For what purpose. by
whom. when or how these children
were thus destroyed there is not the
slightest clew.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22
HENDERSON IS FIRM.
Refuses TO Reconsider His Detern.i-
nation to Retire.
He WILL NOT RESIGN
He Said He Had Speat Year Fighting
for American Protection and La.
Dor and WOuld Not Cease at
This Late Day to Fight.

Chicago, Sept 22.-David B. Hender-
son, speaker of the house of repre-
sentatiyes. passed through Chicago
Sunday on his way to Atlantic, where
be will join Mrs. Henderson. Before
leaving for the east. Speaker Hender-
son reiterated his decision to retire
from the congressional race in Iowa
denied any intention of "abdicating"
his present position until his term of
Office shall have expired, and declared
himself in perfect accord with the
tariff views of President Roosevelt as
enunciated in his Cincinnati speech.
Il have spent twenty years of my
life fighting for protection for Ameri-
can industries and American labor, and
shall not be a party to any Juggling
at this late day the speaker said.
president Roosevelt's tariff views set
forth in his Cincinnati speech coincide
with my own. There is no difference
in our belief His speech was a strong
one, and it has my hearty endorse
ment."
The differences are confined to your
own state?" was asked.
Yes, largely. Let the new lights
shine"
The speaker smiled broadly as he
used this phrase.
''Is +bara auy- chance 1F v-r,4r frfrp y1-
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Weatherford Tex, Sept. 22.-After
several months of i'll health, Judge /
n. Roach of this place died Sunday
morning. Judge Roach has been very
feeble for several years. In the early
days of this county he was an active
member of the Weatherford bar For
several years he served as county
Judge, retiring from the bench two
years ago. He was a very warm
friend of Governor Sayers, having
fought side by side with him ia the
war between the north and south
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Tyler Tex, Sept. 22.--D. w. Parish.
clerk Of the federal court. who was
killed by the accidental discharge Of a
gun Thursday. was buried Sunday with
Masonic honors. The Woodmen of the
World and the Knights of Pythias at
tended in bodies. The funeral was
largely attended, and the procession
was a mile long. Relatives Of the de
ceased from Illinois We're present,
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Kingstown, st. Vincent. Sept. o..
There was an eruption OF La Sou
friere at midnight Thursday night,
but no loss of lie A popularity Of
this eruption is found in the fact that
no dust nor scoriate were emitted by
the volcano. Flames were seen flick
ering above the crater and the sight
was accompanied BY internal and
thunder-like explosions.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

South McAlester, /. T, Sept o.
Hon. Tams Bixby has received the fol.
lowing from the secretary Of the in
terror relative TO the pending election
in the Choetaw and Chickasaw ma
tons:
Washington. Sept. 2l.-On the Chloe.
taw-Chickasaw supplemental agree
ment. the department Of justice in CO.
operation with the department of the
interior will deal summarily with any
government official attempting to in
any way interfere, directly or indi-
rectly, in the matter of the pending
agreement except for the preservation
OF public order in accordance with
specific departmental instructions, and
you will give notice accordingly.
e. A. HITCHCOCK. Secretary.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Having distressing pains in
head, back and stomach, and being
without appetite, / began TO use DR..
Kings New Life Pills." writes w
T. Whitehead, of Kennedale, Tex.
land soon felt like a new man. !"
in stomach and liver trou-
bles. Only DC Herring d Sparks
drug store.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22
COMING EVENTS.

September y Trial Of ArDn EeI-
son far rape.
October y Ellis County Pythian
Alliance meets II waxahachle.
October Buffalo BINS Wild
west show.
October 20 Ringing Bros big
circus
Novemer 4-sstate ard county elee-
ton.
November 27-Thauks giving day
and national holiday
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Il sanhofn i coffee IL tFe picnic 81
the Confederate Veterans at Italy
last Saturday. This Is the same
brand thar was furnished 20 the re-
union free Of charge at Dallas last
spring. This gift from this enter
prfsing firm was duly appreciated
by the veterans and their friends.
INNOCENCE.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Fort Worth. Tex. Sept 22-John 81.
MeCawley, q man apparently BIS years
of age was fouHd dead at the corner
of Third aud Houston streets sunday
morning with bullet wound behind
the right ear The weapon used @as
thiFtYtwo ealiber pistol ard he Gx-
pred shortly after tbs pistol was dis
charged.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

THE Sherman Democrat boasts
that there are no vacant business
houses in sherman. Pshaw! WaXa-
hachie is kept busy building bust
ness houses to supply the demand.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22
ANNOUNCEMENTS.

COUNTY TICKET
For Representative:
J. NJ. ALDERDICE
For District Clerk:
Tom BURLEsON
Por County Judge:
LEE HAWKINS
For County Clerk:
Rufe HENDRICKS
For Sheriff:
J. 2. MINNICE
For County Tax Assessor:
JOHN MCELROY
For Tax Collector:
BILLIE BRATCHER
For County Superintendent Public II
structlon:
f. D. CREDIBLE
For Justice Peace, Precinct No. !:
E. ?. ANDERSON, JR
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

THE Venezuelan battle and the
French duel are about as harmless
AS a sham battle.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

WE should congratulate ourselves
that the New Jersey automobile
accident did not terminate more
seriously.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22
Weather Indications.

Tonight and Tuesday probably
showers cooler.
:. r.. SHELLIT0. Observer.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22
u. q 7. c. 49, 60.

Ennis. annual meeting Friendship
y. >. Convention, tickets on sale
Sept. 20, 30 and Oct. 2nd. Return
init Oct. It'll. Fare so cents.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

TIE country hardly realizes how
near we came to having a President
named John Hay.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

THE candy trust has aroused the
righteous Indignation of all the kids
in christendom.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

CUBA chose the wrong man il
Palma to run the island.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

RAISE more broOmcOrn. The
Texas broom sweeps exceeding
clean.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

There's something doing in this
old town
AS sure as you are born.
The frost is on the pumpkin,
And there IS whiskers on the corn.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

WE are for America against the
Held.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

MAYBE Speaker Henderson saw
the handwrite on the wall.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

THE pistol continues to go-off.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

Avold serious results 81 kidney
or bladder disorder by taking Fo-
ley's kidney Cure Sold by 81 W..
Fearis.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1902-09-22

BE an Americ an.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-02-25
COPPER QUEEN
A Large Reception Given to the People of Bisbec And the
 Beautiful Hotel Form ally Open

The reception given at the Copper Queen last Saturday night was all that could be asked for, as e big turnout took advantage of the occasion. Full ley two hundred people came and went during the afternoon and the beautiful new hotel was seen through its every department. Those who received the big crowd that come and went did everything possible that the occasion might be thoroughly pleasant and en- joyable. Everyone expressod them selves thoroughly satisfied and more than pleased at seeing the elegance that was manifested on every side.
 The dinner was sumptious and the bills of fare were neat and unique. The menu was printed on silk ribbon with the color of the hotel which were kep: as souvenirs by the guests.
 The Sunday opening was well at. tended, indeed more than the hotel could well accountable as everybody was anxious to get glimpse of the interior. The large corridors and the commodious verandas were well filled during most of the evening. The man. agement is to be heartily congraTulat- ed upod the happy occasion and the entirely successful opening. Mr, Rouser can now say with assurity that he has opened to the public the finest hotel in the territory.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-02-25
Notes From Cananea

T. H. Tracy and E. H. Cornell Of Fl Paso, were visitors here this week from the Pass city.
 H. E. VonHossberg, representing Crane & company, of San Francisco, came in Tuesday and spent a few days looking after his trade.
 A large number of town lots have been sold at Mesa during the past ten deys and judging from the rapid build. ing of dwelling houses Mesa will soon be prosperous suburb of Cananes.
 General Manager George Mitchell accompanied by his private secretary, Frank J. Nichols, left on a special Wednesday for Los Angeles to spend a months vacation. MT. Mitchell has entirely recovered from his late illness and with a months rest will be able to resume his duties.
 The young daughter of Sarah, or as- s;staut general manager Robert Mitch ell, is rapidly recovering from a spell of typhoid fever.
 . E. T. Wilson, brother-in law of J | ". Blakenship. died at the Cananes hotel Saturday evening about P. m. from typhoid pneumonia. Mir. Wilson had been sick about ten days and everything possible was done to helI him. MT. Wilson came to Cananes 1 from northern Arizona for his health but instead of getting better got worse and death relieved his sufferings Sat. urday evening. The funeral occurred Sunday and was attended by all the American colony and a large number of his Mexican friends.
 w. E. Tremble was arrested al the Copte saw mill Friday and brought te Cananea and held until an officer could come and take him back to Arizona Capt. Burt Mossmau, of the Rangers arrived Saturday evening with requisi tion papers from Cover and tool Tremble back with him. Tremble ii wanted in Graham county on 8 charge of incest, and there is another charge pending against him in Texas fo, murder.
 Washington's birthday was observed by a part of the 4 merican colony Sat urday. The party gathered at tho home of E. G. Kerch and Carl Clausen Music was furnished by the American Glee Club, patriotic speeches were made by Capt. Mossman, of the Ari zona Rangers, Supt. Jas. Kirk of ths Cananea company and Jack Fountain Among those present were Rober Mitchell. G. E. Bell, Burt Freeman, P J. Tenancy. V. Zsbriske, Steve Brown E. H. Cornell, E. G. Kerch, T. H. Ira cey, c. F. Jaques. Ed Dunklee, A. J Crossley. Clarence Chase, E. G. Rob inson, F. Roper, W. P. SoI snson, F Tellan and c, F.. Nichols.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-02-25
Speedy Goes to Cananea.

K. P. Speedy, the worlds champion high diver, gave beautiful exhibition of his feat of high diving in the Naco bull ring yesterday, and his jump was appreciated by the large audience who went down to see the dive. Mr. Speedy did not make the dive Saturday, as he did not have sufficient water in the tank, and the management would not permit him to make the jump.
 Speedy has expressed himself as well pleased with the kind treatment ac. corded him by the people of Bisbee and Naco and says he knows of a large number of good attractions that could De had to come and give exhibitions in the Naco arena. Speaking of the bull fights Mr. Speedy said:
 "Cervers is one of the best bull fight ters in the world. I saw him in Ha- ysna, Cuba, and his handling of the celebrated Spanish bulls is something marvellous. You never see him run be- hind the boards to get out of the way. ( He is a veteran at the business and ns bull can phaze him.
 'T am going out to the wonderful copper mine in Cananea and will give
Bisbee daily review., 1902-02-25

Bob, the opera house advertiser, Wa, taking his afternoon strcll yesterday along Nevergreen terrace, when he chanced to see an old capine friend perched upon a neighbours front sLes $. He had just decided to Day bis associate short cali when a cloud of dust swung around the corner and almost bli" ded him. He wheeled to go the other way and met baby jimmecane of real estate coming from the opposite direc- tion. Excuse me-" said the opera house advertiser, "but don't want to accumulate real estate in any such way Those city dads have done pretty well by us so far, but must speak 70 them about giving us street sprinkler Our streets need sprinkling awiully, awfully, awfuliy," and Bob passed up the street in a small sized sand bank.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-02-25
JUSTICE COURT.

Be it foreordained that upon the morrow Judge $. K. Williams will sen tence Leopoldo Moea and Vera Godea- reg thirty days each for stealing two sacks of potatoes from the Opera Club restaurant. So mote it be.
Bisbee daily review., 1902-02-25

Stephena Floris received her fourth sentence yesterday for this month. The court seems to be gradually tanning her down.