The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-01-18
HANSEN MEANT
IT FOR A JOKE
Buf t Stirred Up the DeseTat
News Employees.
ORDERED TO GET MARRIED
-&-
BEGAN TO PREPARE FOR MAT
RIMoNIAL CAMPAIGN.
ORDERED TO GET MARRIED

The unmarried members Of the local
staff Of the Deseret Evening News SUI
fs-ad from alternate attacks of palpi-
cation 5f the heart and nervous collapse
,rten city Editor Hansen. a few DAYS
sro announced that the MANAGEMENT
IN the PAPER had issued an order re-
oui~fng an unmarried employees OF the
r-rer l0 f0rsake the paths of single
tras-e5uess before the Both of June next
or hunt other jobs. The single man
who was unfortunate enough to be UNI
able t1 persuade some fair damseI to
accompany him TO the altar of Hynlea
before the specified time, was doomed
10 take bis clothes and go. In fact. the
bows were given to understand that
they were face to face with an alter
. tive If 'matrimony or mo job"
The realization of the situation
raused "a genuine connection in the
circle of unmarried employees. They
aU bad no trouble remembering that
President Young taught that every
Young man should marry as early i'm
life as possible. and being thoroughly
aware Of the fact that that theory is
being advocated throughout the church
81 the present time, they We're serious
Iy concerned
Were Sorely Troubled.
They were soreIy troubled, and there
we're so.ae sleepless nights passed by
these single men. II didn't look like
the same old smile when they greeted
each other at the Office, and there was
much confidential advice sought as 10
what was to be done. The woman
hater betnought himself Of the prim
7, had f.-aTTaH
is for the past fourteen years. and as
the recollection of q smile she had be
slowed upon him came to his troubled
MINI. his heart would go into his
throat a. the thought, Maybe / am
SAFE
Tie sedate youth who never had q
girl. pictured himself before a looking
glass striving for perfection in the art
Of making dem goo-gOo eyes" while
the man who has been taking nerve
tonic three times daily for six months
IN on effort TO get up courage to pop
the question. unused. I'll have 10 hurry
or TIL lose my happy home The
young man who had proposed to two
cirIs ~ the last week, sighed twice
and failed. but the third time is the
charm-just watch me-
Joke Grows Serious.
Of course the commotion produced by
such a state of affairs attracted atten-
ton. and the cause Of the long faces
and troubled airs of the unmarried
employees leaked out. Then there was
q C1mmOtiOn among the outsiders that
put that of the employees 70 shame. The
news spread and caused such a stir
hat the real truth % the matter had
TO be explained.
To the intense relief Of the troubled
employees they awakened from their
nightmare to find it but a joke-a joke
perpetrated by some of the local staff
and the city editor for the benefit Of
certain employees of the paper who are
sin single. To- fact it is said. there
are two or three employees somewhere
iu the departments of the paper who
have striyen hard to put their necks
into the yoke Of matrimony. but with
ont success. and the alleged edict was
issued, it is said, FOR their special ben
eft.
The joke was all rizht for the jokers.
ht although the victims Join i'm the
merry laughter now, a shadow hides
ihe smiles as thoughts Of the awful
"what might have been" had the joke
been no Joke. comes up. The sedate
y.Jng man with jingle i'm his pockets
Emu a clean shave, pictures himself
with 2 hollow purse. his arms full of
bundles and a two days growth of
vhiskers as ne thinks of what might
have happened