The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1902-12-11
TALE OF THE TANGLED TWINS
and Very Shortly Got Hope
IessIy BewiIdered.

swell, sir" said Mr.. Meddergrass to
the visitor, Il reckon that about the
FUNNIEST thing that ever happened in
our town was the time the Higgins
twins courted the Virgins twins And,
to tell the truth, nobody is right sure
now that it was so funny after all, be-
cause it might have been all right, as it
was. You see the Higgins twins were
boys and they looked so much alike
that neither of them knew which he
was and the Virgins twins was girls
and they resembled each other to such
an extent that their mother like to
fed them to death for fear she'd been
feeding the wrong one all the time in
stead of both of them.
"Of course, when the Higgins twins
began counting the Virgins girls it
seemed just as it should be. But one
night one of the Higginses called on
one of the Wigginses and along about
ten o'clock the Virgins girl went into
the sitting room and told her ma that
he had proposed to her and she didn't
know whether to accept him or not,
because she couldn't tell whether he
was the one that had been counting her
or not So old Mrs. Virgins went into
the parlOr and explained it to the Hig-
gins twin and he said he was in the
same fix himself, for he couldn't right
ly say whether or not he had popped
to the girl he wanted or to the one his
brother wanted. So they decided to
let it rest and the young folks consid-
cred themselves half engaged, until a
few nights later the other Higgins
twin-at least he said he was-came
along and proposed to the other Wig
gins twin and then there was the same
argument all over again.
But this time old man Virgins took
hand in the dispute and asked them
why not go ahead and get ready to be
married anyway-said that the hand of
fate would work it out all right, and
they could trust the little blind god
Cupid to know what he was about. So
they fixed up a big wedding-a double
wedding of course-and people came
from miles around just to hang over
the fence-them that wasn't invited.
anu lIlt iillIlSl GI Spb al lHlAbu up
while he was marrying the two coup
les, and finally he just sort of scattered
his shots. as you might say, and got
them all in covey, so to speak, and
tied them up in a bunch. Then every
body kissed them all around and con-
graduated them and themselves, too
But pretty soon one of the brides
got kind of hystericky and declared
that she believed she had been married
to the wrong twin, and then one of the
Higginses, that didn't know which of
the Wigginses he had wanted to marry
or which one he had been married to
either, he got up and said he feared he
had been united with the wrong girl,
and in about two minutes it was worse
than a puzzle convention. The brides
was a-looking at one another kind of
suspicious, and the grooms was
a-wrangling away with each other,
trying to decide which was which, and
which wanted which, and, taken alto
gether, it was the rattledest crowd
you ever saw. And the preacher-he
tucked his double fees in his inside
pocket and allowed that he must
hasten on to a funeral that was de-
manding his attention. Just when the
brides was getting around to the weep
ing and wailing point, and the grooms
was about ready to go out and get
drunk and forget everything, a smart
lawyer chap got up and said that the
best plan was to arrange for a quad
ripple divorce, and then arrive at some
sort of Identification, and get married
all over again, but separately and dis
tinctly the next time.
And do you know" continued Mr..
Meddergrass, impressively, according
to the Baltimore American. that di
vorce case is still hanging fire in the
court, because the judge can't tell
which is witnesses and which is prin-
cipals, and the would-be Divorces
can't swear to it themselves. So l say
that it is about the funniest thing that
ever happened down this way; but
maybe it amt funny, for there is just
a chance that there hasn't been any
mistake made at all. And wouldn't
everybody laugh if there hadn't?"