The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-09-25
WISDOM FROM
MASCULINE LIPS

In the middle of the trolley car going
to Tombersville sat two men conversing
at least one was conversing. The 9TH
er remarked I'm" once in awhile; that
was all. The speaking nan had a modsh
built for talk. That kind of mouth IS
always wide across and opens up well.
Its lower jaw is also large and is hung
timber, so it may wag up and down with
great rapidity and without firing. Thus
generously has nature equipped the man
or wHnan with the mouth built for talk.
Whenever the man who did the convers-
ing in the trolley car had to stop for
breath he Just said and and dropped
his jaw to show there was more coming
so the other man would not begin to
speak. That is a good way to hold the
floor. Behind the gentleman sat l, Jane
Moses. l could hear every word spoken
without setting my ears at all to 1t. The
man who talked was very must in earn:
est. | said to myself:
Jane Moses, you're an old maid, and
your mother came very near being an
old maid before you. Your mother was
left a widow when you were six months
old, and the only man that ever comes
into your house is the doctor, and he is
deaf as a post and never opens his mouth
except when he feels your pulse. You
never lldu Il CIldIlCC " ItdIH AIOll'
the superior sex. Women only talk of
their children, their clothes and their
ailments. Now. you pay attention to
what this man is saying. Hear some
thing that has sense to it. Listen and
learn"
The man who talked was saying:
Il says to her, l says: If you was
man, I'd hammer the life out of you,
but beins you're a woman l can only
tell you you're the biggest fool out for
thinkin' I'd take advantage of you on
the account of your not havin' any bus
mess sense to cheat you, you bein' lone
woman, just because I've got business
sense. l withdraw my offer right here,
and don't you come whinin to me no
more, and you can bet it will be a cold
day before you get another offer of
$4,000 for your old house and lot. L jisJ
made it 10 you because I'm sorry for
you, you ben' a widow, but you amt
got sense enough to know when you re
well off, l says, and
% Jim, l guess / was the sickest man
two nights ago to be in town today that
ever was. l eats a hearty supper and
goes to bed early feelin' fine and in the
middle of thenight 1 wakes up, and
says, Mrs. Jones. l can't move hand nor
foot Mrs. Jones she jumps up, and
she says to the hired girl, she says
Hustle out quick and build fire and
make a mustard plaster for Mr.. Jones. .
They done it quick, and they sent for
the doctor, and L said twas rheumatism
l said, but doctor he said twas only
cold"
UNI" said the other man.
And" said the talker, giving gulp
Jim, what do you think of these yere
pants? Amt them pants neat? The pat
tern is new this season. The way
came to get em, l come to town last
week one day with with lobe Jinson,
and after we got off the car lobe he
says to me, he says, Where you goin?
1 says to him, says, I'm goin round
the corner to my tailor to see about a
pair of pants 1 says. Then Tobe he
Gays to me, he says: 'Spose you try
my tailor this time. l want pair of
pants, too, and s'pose we get 'em alike
for old friends sake. Jist come round
this corner with me and try my tailor,
he says. 'Done,' l says; 'Tll do it, L
says. So we goes to lobe Jinson's tailor.
and it happens he's got piece of unfi 4
ished wbrsted striped goods-black and
gray-thAt he shows us and says, How