davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Remarkable, Indeed.

Ding-Funny thing, this. On the
street few days ago mistook
trust magnate for a friend of mine
and slapped him on the back.
Dong-Well?
"He turned around with an icy stare
and said: You have the advantage
of me, SIR"
Nothing funny in that"
well l guess I'm the first man
that ever had the advantage of him!"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

The fact that Mr.. Schwab has given
a $4,000 academy building as pay
ment for the green apples he stole
when he was boy leads to the nat
ural conclusion that his ideal of Hades
is reminiscent of his youthful stomach
aches
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

A Pueblo Indian whipped his wife,
was promptly castigated by his moth
er-in-law and in his modification COM
mitted suicide. There is no use in
trying to civilize an Indian.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Sarcasm.

Mr.. Borem-I am opposed to iptox-
icating liquors as a beverage, yet 1
believe that liquor rightly used is a
benefit to humanity. l am fully con-
WINGED that whisky was once the
means of saving my life.
Miss Cutting-Perhaps it did, but |
fall to see how that proves it a bene-
fit to humanity.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Benham-I try to believe the Bible,
but ind that story of the ten vir-
gins, five of whom were wise and five
foolish, little perplexing.
Mrs. Benham-What's the matter
with that?
Benham-Judging from the women
have known the proportion of fool
lsh ones was altogether too small.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Filled Lonn.Eelt Mant.

First" said the merchant to the
youthful applicant, "we'll have to test
your ability as whistler. Suppose
you try"
I'm sorry, sir, but l can't whistle
at ALL"
"Hang up your hat" said the mer-
chant with prompt enthusiasm
You're the boy we've been looking
for"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
The Usual sion.

I wonder what's the matter with
him. He's forever making slurring
remarks about Boston, Chicago, Brook.
lyn, Philadelphia, Hoboken-"
Yes he wants to give the impress
sion that he's New Yorker"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

King Alfonso of Spain is hunting for
wife. Amy good-looking princess who
begins to get boxes of chocolate and
cut flowers from Madrid should un-
derstand what they mean.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Analysis.

She-After all. what is the differ
ence between illusion and delusion?
He-Illusion is the lovely fancies
we have about ourselves; delusion is
the foolish fancies other people have
about themselves.-Life
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Missed Her Chance.

mo, sir" she said haughtily, 'T
would not marry the best man on
earth"
81 know you wouldn't" retorted the
rejected one; 'but if you live to be
an old maid it will be gratifying to
think that you once had the oppor-
tunity."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Pictorial Dun1or
Apace With the Times.

Eyes" said the landlord of the pic
turesque old tavern, Il am going to
alter my Accommodation for man
and beast sign"
"In what way?" queried the tourist.
"Why, l am going to put up: 'Ac'
commodation for man and automo.
bile
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Herr Most has sounded the death.
knell of free press in America. 1t
is certain that he will not take any
more liberties with it for the next
twelve months.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

"As girls grow older they think less
OF love and more of money" says the
Pointed Photographer" of the Chicago
News. Good sign. Perhaps this high
er education" is doing something for
the girls, after all.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
A Result of Hluher crItlclan.

IT hear e. q. Life says he is ready
to sit in sackcloth and ashes. Do
you think he can mean it?"
Undoubtedly" answered the man
who knew all about such things.
"Only he means broadcloth and cigar
ashes"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Ventilation in the COW stable is a
necessity If the health of the animals
is to be conserved. Little is known
among the generality of COW owners
as to the scientific principles of ven
tilation. The subject is worthy Of
study, especially by, the men that are
to construct stablesN The men that
have stables should Investigate with
ths object of putting p perfect sys-
ten Of lentil~kion ~
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

A French army officer has perfected
a device which suppresses the flash,
sound and smoke of rifle or cannon.
Now II he will go step farther and
suppress the bullet and shell he will
do the world real service.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Kansas farmers are dragging tramps
from freight trains and compelling
them to work in the harvest fields. 1t
is such acts as this that make freedom
shrek.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Reason for poubtIna.

do you believe in ghosts?" asked
the inquisitive person of the red
faced young man on the Rialto.
81 used to, but it is so long since l
have seen one walk that I'm getting
mighty skeptical"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

1t is reported that William Waldorf
Astor is going to give his daughter
s20,0Oo,O0O when she gets married.
William Waldorf must think that is
about the price of a good, serviceable
duke.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

A theater treasurer has nearly died
from erysipelas contracted in hand.
ling money. There are probably, how
ever, more cases of grip than cry
sipelas in handling money.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

BY the time man has the forests
thoroughly subdued he will have
found, doubtless, some way of getting
along without wood.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Joseph Chamberlain and the colonial
premiers are having some trouble in
whiting out zollverein for King
Edwards empire. They might try get
ting up turnverein.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

The woman who has petitloned for a
divorce on the ground that her hus-
band expected her to embrace the
new thought" and see ghosts ought
to have her freedom.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Charcoal Eph's Daily Thought.

"Dey's a heap OBJ people in de
worl'," said Charcoal Eph, "dat jess
spen all dere time sittin' out on de
front doorstep waitin' t. see de-
'stalment man call TO de furniture in
de mex house. Da's so, Mistah Jack
son!"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Another public Renefactor

Hewitt-That plumber claims to be
a public benefactor.
Jewitt-How is that?
Hewitt-He says that it is a dis
grace TO die rich, and he has saved a
good many men from disgrace.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Never Knew the Difference.

Western Barkeeper (mystified)-
The tenderfoot says he wants a
''stick" in his lemonade. What's
that?
Proprietor-He means little wood
alcohol in it. Give it to him.-PucK
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
The sion for Trouble.

What started the awful row in that
group of politicians?"
Il don't know. But | should SIR
mise that one of them had got up and
suggested scheme for harmony"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Bicycling is said to be craze again
In the East. 1t must be unsatisfactory
sport, though, for enthusiasts who
have been running their automobiles
over people.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

After facing the perils of mob
Rudyard Kipling no doubt wonders
how Poet Laureate Austin has man
aged to escape so long.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Japanese Bantams were imported
from Japan, where they have evidently
been bred for a long gime, as they
breed very true to typ$. Only after
long generations can a type be thus
fixed. They are easily acclimatsd and
hardy.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Traelna the Responslhilitu

Sappehedde-No woman ever made
a fool of me.
Miss Caustique-Who did, then?-
Philadelphia RECORD.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
On the Side.

You are bird!" said the comedian
as he watched the pretty singer wait.
Ing for the encore.
Perhaps!" she laughed. AT least
have wings on both sides of r."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

One of the latest and most sensible
fads in New York this season is the
throwing of stones at automobile
racers.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Brooklyn advertises a reliable bug
exterminator," which may be of use to
any one who wants to exterminate re-
liable bugs.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

1t is feared that one result of the
Enthusiastically fight will be to bring
the Hon. Jim Corbett before the pub
lie again.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

King Alfonso needs a guardian
worse than ever, for he will probably
fall in love with some nice lady aged
about as years.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Mr.. Bull understands himself to be
the victor, but he will have to put his
South African farm in order at his
own expense.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

What, asks the college boy, is the
good Of co-education If the girls are
going to take it over in the next
block?
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

The breaking of college ties is sad,
but not half so melancholy as the
counting of subsequent ties.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07
Ter SWAY.

she-You don't love me as you once
did. Before we were married you
considered me absolutely perfect
He-Exactly, and nov you're per
fectly Philadelphia Press.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Why should there be any furry IN
financial circles? Pierp. is still able to
be up and around.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Portugal won't let Britain have
Mozambique. unless Britain takes it.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

A season of protracted drought is
reminding the Texas people of Gen.
Shermans opinion of war.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Love letters are writs of attach
ment, and there is no lodging the ser
vice.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Emperor William says that when
German can look iHto the eyes of the
empress he ought to have inspiration
enough to last him lifetime. How
nice it must be for s5ftgsp emperor
talks like that whg 9 2 ny rs not
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

Speaking OF an army, King Wheat
calls for 10000 harvester recruits in
Kansas and Nebraska.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

The shah of Persia still refuses to
look pleasant in any of his portraits
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1902-10-07

SheWha lovely it's birthday did
He-Five hundred dollars.
She-Gracousl How lovely!
He-Yes 1 h1ndred ninety OF
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
PACIFIC CABLE CONDITIONS.

Everything now seems to be absolutely
arranged in reference to the construc-
ton of a Pacific cable, so that the work
can go on without obstruction or inter
ference and be completed within a rea-
sonable time. The arrangement entered
into between the United States govern
ment and the Commercial Gable COM
pany is of a nature that gives the gov
eminent practical control of the cable
and puts it into its power to assume the
virtual control whenever the cable COM
pany fails to comply with the condi-
tons. In other words, the United
States, under the agreement formulated,
has to all intents and purposes the alb
solute control of the cable line which
the company proposes to construct md
can in the main conduct 1t as the govern
ment shall see fit. This is absolutely
conditioned in the provision that the
government shall have priority for its
official cablegrams over all other bust
ness at such rates as shall be prescribed
by the postmaster general, and also
that the government shall at any time
have the right to purchase the cable
lines at an appraised value to be ascer-
tanned by disinterested persons. An
other important condition is that the
government shall have authority to as
sumo full control Of the cable during
war or when war is threatened, so that
there will be no danger Of these lines
falling into the control Of an enemy.
1t is needless to say that these condi-
tons have been formulated by our own
government and that they will be IN
sisted upon to the fullest extent They
do not involve any responsibilities on
the part Of the government outside of
the obligations in connection with the
agreement as to rates-that is to say,
the government is not In any way bound
as to any fixed amount to be annually
paid to the cable company, in the
form Of a subsidy or subvention. In re
spect to this the government occupies
an absolutely independent position
with every power left to it in regard tC
the regulation of rates so far as its OWL
business is concerned and with a very
large authority in regard to the regula.
ton of commercial business. Not only
this, but the government reserves the
right to revoke or modify the conditions
and terms of the contract IL these
should prove to be unsatisfactory OIL
should not be faithfully carried out by
the company.
1t will thus be seen that the govern
ment has a perfectly secure position il
it's relation to the Commercial Cable
company and at the same time can pro
tect the public against any undue ex
actions. 1t is worth while to bear II
mind that in this matter the admins
%tration has been most careful to pro
tect the public interests, having refer
ence alike to the government and tn,
people.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26

It is not easy to see why Colonel
Bryan should crack his knuckles in
satisfaction over the late election. If
it be true, as some of his friends
theorlze, that the democrats lost in the
western states because of a disposition
to abandon the Kansas City platform,
it is also true that the party had
previously lost the eastern states be-
cause of that platform. So the east
ern and western democratic leaders have
between them lost both ways, which
is hardly a rational ground for rejoicing
from the party standpoint.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
WHAT or TsE SESSION.

There seems to be very little prob
ability, as now indicated, that there will
be any legislation at the coming session
Of congress in regard to, the more i'm
portant matters that are engaging public
attention. The most Trustworthy
opinion is, according to the latest adj
vices, that while these leading questions
may receive some consideration, as an
inevitable concession to popular de-
mand, there will be no definite action
taken in regard to any of them and that
on the contrary they will be left to the
care and consideration of the succeed
ing congress.
Perhaps there are good reasons for
this. Undoubtedly it is most undesir-
able to do anything that will have the
effect to disturb and unsettle the indus-
trial and business interests of the coun-
try. That is a proposition which we
take it will commend itself to all peo-
pie who consider the matter intelli-
gently. There is no IL who desires
any action on the part of congress the
effect of which will be injurious to the
general business of the country or harm
full to prosperity. This is why the
great majority of the people are opposed
to the democratic proposition for a tariff
reform hat means the abandonment of
protection. But on the other hand there
is a very general demand for legisla-
ton that will put a restraint upon the
growth of monopoly and place under the
supervision and control Of the national
government the great combinations that
are engaged in interstate commerce.
This is the paramount question before
the country today and the party in power
is called upon more forcibly than at
any other time to meet it 1t is abso-
lutely and unalterably committed to the
policy of controlling and regulating the
trusts and unless it fulhlls its oledge
in this respect it cannot hope to retain
popular confidence and win the fight in
the next national contest. This simply
means that the republicans in the pres
ent congress must vindicate the prom
Uses of the party and keep faith with the
people.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
Personal NOTES.

W. d. Nesbit, who for three years has
conducted the Josh Wink column Of humor
in the Baltimore American, has become con-
nected with the Chicago Tribune.
Ex-Secretary John d. Long has Just been
made a member of the Mayhower Descend
ants. He is descended from Mary Chiffon,
who first set foot on Plymouth Rock.
Stephen Decatur, IT,, Of Portsmouth, N.
H., a grandson of the famous Commodore
Perry, has passed the mental examination
for admission to the Naval academy.
An Indianapolis florist has named a car
nation after John Mitchell, leader of the
miners. The flower is pure white and is
said to have other distinctive qualities.
Sheriff Dudley, who did not prevent that
lynching in Sullivan county, Indiana, has
lost his job. Sheriffs who neglect their
duty in Indiana are fred by state Law.
Secretary Of State and Mrs. Hay have
issued invitations to the first cabinet din
ner of the season, in honor Of President and
Mrs. Roosevelt, which will take place Janu-
airy 8.
The strongest enemy of liberal ideas In
Russia is NJ. Pobledonostseff. who has just
resigned from the position Of procurator
general Of the holy synod Of Russia, which
place he has held since 1880.
Samuel l. Pickard, Whittier's literary ex-
ecutor and biographer, will sell many of the
poets manuscripts and books for the benefit
of a fund for the restoration and care of
Writers birthplace at Haverhill and his
home at Amesbury, Mass.
In order to get rid Of the swarms OF re-
porters and kodak lends who daily beset
him Pierpont Morgan has decided to receive
one newspaper mar every afternoon and
give him any news that is to be given out,
under pledge that the recipient shall share
his Information with the others.
A marriage solemnized in Atlantic City
a few days ago provided John Philip
sousa, the famous bandmaster, with an
1S-year-old mot~her-in-law, the father OF
Mrs. Sousa having been married to a girl
of that age. Henry Bells, the groom, is
"A, but is as spry as a college graduate
Two of Sousa's children are older than
their new grandmother.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26

purely theoretical bounds. The extrem-
est statement in the Iowa platform only
asserted that the tariff should not be-
come a shelter for monopoly. 1t did
not affirm that the existing tariff in its
general effect affords such a shelter nor
specify instances of that character.
The last national platform fifty states
the familiar republican doctrine that no
schedule Of rates is clothed with in
violable sanctity. but that all must be
changed in a wise view of changing
conditions. With the meeting of the
next congress, and not before, will come
a chance to take up the question of any
specific changes that may be desired.
The Iowa idea is not without merit,
but it is not so good as the republican
idea
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
An Encouraging Utterance.
Philadelphia Record.

Mr.. Bryan observes in the latest issue Of
his Commoner that 1.-THE democratic party
does not need leaders so much as 1t needs
voters" This is an encouraging utterance.
The fact that this truth has finally forced
itself upon the apprehension of Mr.. Bryan
will be Of obvious advantage to his party.
Not once only, but many times in the course
of its history. by, thrusting aside would-be
leaders and calling to the front a dark
horse" fresh from the ranks the democratic
party has pulled victory out Of the jaws of
defeat. The democrats do not care to be
led. Instead OF hanging fast to some
favorite's coat tails they prefer to follow
the flag and the constitution and take the
consequences,
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
FREE TRADE WITH PHILIPPINES.

1t is stated that Senator Mitchell of
with the Philippines and that he will
have the support in this Of the senators
and representatives Of the Pacific coast
1t is perfectly natural that the people of
the Pacific states should desire to do all
that is possible to promote the trade of
that section with the far east, but they
should not take a wholly selfish view Of
this matter.
Free trade with the Philippine islands
is a possibility of the future, but 1t is
not a desirable condition at present,
either from the point Of view Of the in
terests of those islands or our own in
terests. There are several things to be
considered, not the least of which are
the interest of the archipelago itself,
that manifestly would not be at
present promoted by a free trade
policy. We are pursuing the cor
rect course now. so far as the
economic policy is concerned, in regard
to the Philippine islands, and it will
be wise to continue this policy until
it shall be conclusively shown that there
is a real necessity for a change. At
this time there is no substantial evidence
in favor Of a departure from the
the course recommended by the commits
sion and endorsed by congress.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
THE IDEA.

Iowa republicans enamored Of the
Iowa Idea show some disposition to re-
vive fractional tariff agitation. although
no practical result, except dissipation OF
party energy and promotion Of internal
broils, can come of 1t at this time. 1t
is absolutely certain congress at the
coming short session will not enter upon
tariff revision in whole or in part. Nor
is it likely that congress will be called
in extraordinary session for this pur-
pose. The newly elected congress will
not regularly till a year hence
and 1t will act with reference TO the
tariff with a view not only TO industrial
conditions as they then exist. which may
be very different from present condi-
tons, but also to the presidential cam
paign, the lines OF which will then be
definitely forming.
Wordy controversy nov would be only
for the sake of controversy and not for
any possible practical purpose. The de-
bate, before 1t was dropped in the late
campaign upon the withdrawal OF
Speaker Henderson. never got beyond
Omaha daily bee., 1902-11-26
GENESIS OF THE TUBER.
An HumbI Vegetable with an Honor
able Pedigree.

An Humble vegetable with an Honor
able Pedigree.
Springfield Republican.
A paragraph IN a New York newspaper
the other day began thus: T how many
that consume the u~nlovely potato every
day does 1t occur that 1t had Its birth In
Bogota, the storm center OF many a South
American r~evolution7 Yet that is what
Captain Thomas Gambler, a cosmopolite,
asserted at the Westminster yesterday
One might ask, why 1.-THE unlovely potato
seeing that it is really one OF the pest
loved and most popular OF all vegetables
one might as we'll say the unlovely turnip
or peanut. AS to it's origin, the cyclope-
dias tell us that it is we'll known. They
saw that it was first brought into Spain
from Quito, which is south Of Colombia.
hut that the wild plant exists in a good
many other places. They do not say that
IL was native to North as well as South
America, but that is the fact, and the In
dams Of the Atlantic coasts cultivated II.
A river in Nova Scotia, the shubenacadie,
preserves its memory, for the name Is a
corruption of the Algonquin word segeeben,
the wild potato, and the word for place,
which is also corrupted to "quoddy," as In
Passamaquoddy, and has suffered other
changes, and gave itself to "Acadie," the
Acadia of "Evangeline" and history. II is
also native in the mountains OF Colorado.
whence came the Colorado beetle, the
"potato bug" which finds the cultivated
potato so much to its taste. These wild
tuberous plants are all OF the solanum
family, and are regarded by many botanists
as perhaps all ~varities Of the solanum
tuberosa.