The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1902-02-13
HUMORS OF THE WAR.
. Gorgeously Appareled Britt
ish Omcer.

Ii you cannot bring any new ideas to r
South Africa you can at least bring
new clothes. No one will object to this,
not even the Beers. Clothes, just at
the present moment, are of more use
to them than British ideas. The staff
officer had three months leave, and he
went home rejoicing. 1t was the same
staff officer who had first used locomo-
tives as projectiles in war. As he was "a
man of original ideas, they made much
of him at home. So he bought new
kit, and, still rejoicing, returned to
South Africa. It was good kit. from
Zeiss glasses to pocket filter-the best
that money could buy. But the pride
of the kit was pair of chocolate-col-
ored chamois breeches. When the
staff officer arrived at Pretoria he put
on these breeches, and they at once
made him a column commander, mar
rates the London Pail Mall Gazette.
And the staff officer went to his col
umn and found it in front of a hill, on
which were Beers. And the staff officer
said: "Where are the enemy?" And
they said: "On that HILL" absurd"
said the staff officer. "You cannot
know. will go and reconnoiter!" So
he mounted his horse and rode out to
the hill.
And when the Beers on the top of the
hill saw him coming they said: DO
not shoot him. Don't you see he is one
of the five-shilling yeomanry. He has
new clothes on!"
So the staff officer had to hold up his
hands and it showed off his new kit to
advantage. So much so that the COM
mandant coveted his tunic, his stock,
his glasses, his chocolate breeches and
all that he had. And, what is more, he
took them even unto the salmon-cov-
cred underdrawers from beneath the
breeches; and, If the staff officers
own pom-pom had not dropped one
shell on the side of the hill, they
would have taken the staff officers
| cholera belt as well. AS it was he re-
turned to his column with only his
| banyan and his cholera belt; and they
| said: "Did we not tell you that there
| were Beers that hill?" And the staff
officer suggested that it was the for
| tune of war, and borrowed a coat
warm, British, anda pair of khaki OYER
alls from the supply officer.
And in the evening there came an
envoy from the Boer camp with white
flag, and he was wearing the staff of
ficer's chocolate breeches. Thei staff
officer could not grant him an inter-
view, for he had caught convenient
chill on the kopje Gas matter of fact
he had seen his breeches in the dis
tance, and, though the Beers wore
them bravely, the nature of the fit hurt
the stat. officers feelings); SO the doc
tor gave the Boer an audience.
"You captured our general this
morning; why were you such fools as
10 let him go?" said the doctor.
"Don't know that we would be fools
to let any British general go!" an
swered the Boer. "But we did not cap
| ture a general all the same!"
"How do you know?" asked the doc
tor
"Well, we can generally tell. A yeo-
man always wears new clothes, puts
his head in the silliest moose, and then
uses bad language. You send us lot
more generals like that man this morn
ing. We won't keep them-rio fear;
we'll only take what's worth having
about them. You can keep the rest
it won't do you much good!"