The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-09-05

uonCHs from Ine DlSgeSJ harvest we
have had in the territory yet, and
I've got to leave my threshing ma
chine and come here"
| At this point his honor exchanged
his oil can and bunch of waste for the
| book.
/ "Sit down, Bill" he commanded, and
the engineer tipped Lem Bilkins out
of his chair and seated himself.
"Now," continued the judge, laying
the book down on the table and throw
ing himself into his seat, 81 was busy
yesterday afternoon and don't know
what this is all about. Tell me, some
body"
Mr.. Burberry got up.
IF you p-p-please, your honor, 1
have the p-p-pleasure to ap-ap-a-"
That was the extent of Mr.. Bar
berry's utterance, for the time. He
grew red in the face, whistled,
stamped his foot and struck himself
in the side, all to no purpose.
Then the Colonel, suave, dignifed,
voluble, arose.
"Your honor" said he, ''this is an
action brought against one Barney
Liscomb for maliciously threatening
my life with shotgun"
81 seen him do It'll" declared Lem
Bilkins.
"You hush, Billlins. You, too, Keev-
er. I wouldn't try to say anything if
it's painful, Burberry. Sit down and
keep still, all of you. I'm the boss of
this threshing outfit"
''This is court of law, your honor,
and not threshing outfit" remon-
strated the Colonel
cit isn't, eh? / say court of law
is moral threshing machine. Doesn't
it separate the wheat from the
chaff?"
Fright you are, Waff!" seconded
Bill Comfort.
The judge frowned at his engineer.
This is no the-ay-ter," he resumed.
"What have you been doing, Barney ?"
"Your honor, I'LL" began the
lawyer for the defense.
Don't distress yourself, Burberry;
sit down. l was talking to Liscomb.' >
81 r-r-represent him in this c-c-case."
"Not in this court. Sit down, tell
you. Now, Barney?"
"But, your honor, Goo" slut
tered Burberry, red and desperate.
stop your whistling and stomping!
Don't you know any better than to
whistle and stomp in court of JUS
tice?"
But Mr.. Lis-Liscomb-'
The judge stared at the lawyer so
sternly he wilted in his chair.
Shall throw him out, Waff?" asked
Bill Comfort, making pugilistic ges-
ture with his bunch of waste.
NO." said the judge, withdrawing
his glare from Burberry and bestow-
ing it upon his engineer; "but I'll tell
you what you can do, Bill Comfort.
You can keep still or I'll throw you
out, and no two ways about it. Now,
Barney"
Barney stood up and was about to
! speak when Col. Keever broke in ahead
of him.
Your honor, it is customary first
to hear the plaintiff. beg to be al
lowed to make my statement"
"And I beg to be allowed to tell you
to mind your p's and as. Is my au-
thority to be respected or isn't it?"
Col. Keever coughed and thrust his
hand into his bosom.
81 WILL address this court, SIR"
'You will, will you!" exclaimed Waf-
fe, starting up slowly. "If you say
much more, the dignity of this court
is going to be badly impaired"
you're disgrace to the law you
profess to represent.
Silence, or I'll fine you for con-
tempt of court"
IF my fine was in proportion to my
contempt" scored the Colonel, "a mil
lion dollars wouldn't pay it,"
"Now, you're getting personal. Pet
tibone, If that man forgets himself
again, take him down to the end of
the hall and lock him up. While Pm
here this thing is going to be run ac-
cording to Waffle. Come here, Barney,
and I'll swear you"
Barney laid his hand on the book
while the oath was administered, then
he was asked in tone of judicial Sc
verify:
"Did you point deadly weapon at
that gentleman in the white hat?'
Eyes, SIR"
"What was it-a shotgun?"
Eyes, SIR
"What was it loaded with?"
"No. 5 shot,
"How far were you from Col. Keeyer
at the time?"
about fifty feet
Now, then, answer me square-up.
If your gun had gone off would it have
killed our respected friend?'
II think it would, sir.'
The judge leaned forward in his
chair.
"Then why in the fiend's name didn't
you shoot?"
A painful silence settled over the
courtroom and then there came tit
ter from someone somewhere in the
crowd. Guy laughed outright. Spring
ing erect, the Colonel inflated his
broad chest, and fastened his eyes on
Waffle.
Sir" he cried in n voice whose eyerv