West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-06-12
IED WHITE AND THE BEAR.
The Old Man Tells How lie Joked With
Bruiu, Who Vase Himself a Joker.


zone night about FIVE years ago,
said the old postum hunter as he
settled down to tell story, ga bear
come along at night and took my pig
out of the pen. / was lyin sick at
the time and coulden't git out to
shoot him, but reckoned he'd hang
around till got a show to git even.
1t was a month before l was out, and
then spring had come, and fur was
no good. All could do was to play
q joke on that varmint and make
HIM feel bad. got some barbed
wire and strung it across the pen,
and when all was ready / killed a
woodchuck and dragged him around
the pen and throwed his carcass in.
The old women seen what was goln'
on and said:
'Zeb, are you gwinc to tangle
that bar up in that barbed wirea'
"'That's what it's fur said L.
"'What you got ag'in himl'
"'He carried off our hawg..
"sThat was bckase you was too
lazy to roof the pen in. I wouldn't
do any fooling with that bar. He
cum loa6ng round yere the other
day when you was away, and he
looked mighty serious and solemn.
He amt no critter to joke WITH
/" But he'll hav' to stand It lest
the same. If he gifts among them
wires, he'll feel tickled to DEATH
"'Waal, said she, you 60 ahead,
but I'm telling you that If you Joke
with that bear he'll cum out ahead.
Thar's bears and bears. Some goes
in fur fun, and some DON'T
That nihgt, about 'leven O'Clock,
continued Zeb, that bar cum spook-
ing round. l was awake and heard
him sniffin, but kept quiet till he
climbed ur the logs of the pen and
dropped down inside. He knowed
woodchuck from hawg, of co'se, but
woodchuck was good huff fur him
Just then. If he saw them barbed
wiies, he took 'em fur strings.
Leastwise he Ieaped right down, and
next mint he was making fuss huff
FUR three doghghts. They heard him
nowilng way over to Jim Tanners
place. Lawd, sab, but it made my
ha'r stand up TO hear him take on,
but l got on my clothes and went
out TO rub it into him little. Look.
ing down into the pen, / called him
hawg thief and lots of other names,
and every time he roared laughed
IN his face. jest poked fun at the
critter till / was tired, but when /
went back into the cabin, the old
women was looking powerful
solemn.
"What's the matter with you?'
said /.
"'Oh. nuthin, she said
" But what you lookin' so solemn
fur?'
" Cause thsr's trubble ahead.
That bar is gwinc to git even with
70 If it takes 10 years. Don't yo'
reckon he's goin' to take it as a
good joke to be tangled up and
prickcd in thousand places
"How the vsrmint got free and got
out OF the pen dunno, but he was
gone in the mawnin. Thar was
blood and fur all over the pen, and
thar was fur scattered all round the
yard, and / reckon he'd had bad
time Of it. ] chuckled TO myself.
but didn't say no mo- to the old
woman, and SIX weeks went by. II
that bar cum round ag'in he was so
sly about it that didn't see him.
I'd clean forgotten him when cum
home one day and the old woman
said to me:
"Ieb, camp meetin' begins to
inorrer at Coon Creek, and we'll tote
ourselves over thar.
"Too much shoutin, said I.
you never mind the shoutin.
but git ready. When the last day
Gums, YOU be wisbin' yo' had heard
mo- shoutin. 1t won't do you any
good to hang back, fur I'm sot abou,
it,
81 didn't keer 10 60" said Zeb.
"but didn't want no fuss and so
the next mawnin we toted along
We reckoned to stay TO days, but on
the second day the old woman said
10 me.
" 'Ieb, you member that bar yo'
joked withY'
"1 reckon
"'kvef seen him sencep
'Noap.
WAL, I've had vision. I
was putin the beans over TO cook
while listend to the preachin' when
that bar seemed to rise right up
Defo' me. and be nar .Lrinnin