Fergus County argus., 1902-08-20
DuFFY's PIPE DREAM.
A Hot Story Straight From the Elk
Lick at Salt lake City.


to Anaconda by County Attorney
Duffy of Silver Bow. II may be a
work of fiction but It is worth read
ing. anyway.
Salt Lake City, Aug. 1--WE are
in deep disgrace. Our lodge and the
others of Montana feel inclined to
start for home at once. and but for
the urgent pleadings of the grand Of
ficials We would brush the dust OF
Utah from our shoes and skip by the
light of the moon. AS II is our troub.
les have been aired and every single
Elk, big or little. knows Il. The
papers have announced the uprising
on the part OF our brethren In glaring
headlines, and when We walk about
in our bright new suits the police and
special detectives watch us like
hawks. When we enter stores to
make purchases we are met at the
doors and told that our patronage is
not sought; when We apply to the
inn-keeper and the restaurant man
for a bite to eat we are gruffly turned
away and the snap of the chain OF the
bull dog house is loosened; when we
walk the main thoroughfares we are
Stunned and looked at suspiciously by
everyone, for all arc on. It's awful.
The agony will likely put Harry Gal
way, always proud and genteel, COM
pletely out of business. Exalted Rul.
er John NJ. Kirk of the Butte lodge
Is so ashamed that he has concluded
to wear mask. The rest of the Mon
tana boys are each, in turn, making
every effort to square our delegation
with the hosts and other guests, but
there seems little likelihood of sue
cess.
DIR. Mckenzie and Rod Williams
are responsible for this mess. Both
men have declared their faith in the
belief Of the faith of the church of
Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints and
have announced that they will accept
call and go on missions to Austria
liza or China, just as their followers
see fit. The mere tact that both
prominent Anacondans have strayed
SO far from the early teachings OF
their parents would not have caused
SO much strife and contention among
the Montana people had they stopped
there. But tLey cid not. Doc Nc
Kenzie paraded the streets today and
announced that Rod Williams would
set forth the up-to-date teachings of
the new Mormon church which they
proposed to found. The meeting was
to be held in the tabernacle, so the
doctor announced and at the appoint.
ed time a large gathering was on
hand. Rod was here with the goods.
He climbed over the big pipe organ.
hustled himself to the rostrum and
in loud, clear voice began an elab-
crate discourse on the teachings OF
religion. Rod did nobly until he
reached what was intended to be
about the middle of his talk. Then
something happened. The Anaconda
visitor started trade against the
present system OF the Mormon peo-
pie. He declared that the whole bus.
mess as laid down by Joe Smith and
the others was just right, but that
when the church leaders declared
they had a revelation from the AL.
mighty to stop the several wives
idea they got off the track. That, in
sisted Rod. spoiled the whole founda.
tion of the faith and in his mind the
church officials were set Of ras.
Gals. good for nothing and crooked.
That's where the trouble commenced.
These Mormon people think a whole
lot of their leaders and they swarmed
onto the platform like bees. Rod saw
the jig was up and In his effort to es-
cape he got into the pipe organ. He
escaped the crowd. but in the even
ing the organ was started and Rod
became entangled In the works. He
screamed, and, strange to say. the
sound came out distinctly from the
pipes, 1 belong to Montana's jolly
good Elks. whooper-up' The erst-
while preacher was rescued from his
predicament and is now In Holy Cross
hospital. where DR.. Mckenzie. his
partner In crime. is attending him.
"The Mormons eve In an uproar
about the attack on the church Off
cials and the hospital Is being guard
ed by armed officers. Rod and Doc
insist that they'll found a new church
OF original Mormon IDEAS"
Those who know the two Anaconda
men charged with the awful offense
and as well know Mr.. Duffy, say that
the county attorney must have been
visiting Plum alley. Salt Lakes no
torious smokers JOINT.
Henry l.. Shattuck OF Shellsburg,