Omaha daily bee., 1902-05-17
AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A HAMMOCK.
Observations on Marrying on the Old
Mans Three Girls.


An old worn-out hammock, whipped to
shreds by the bowling winds of winter,
rotted by snow and rain, and hanging be-
tween two large oak trees in wetherby
Kudds side yard by rope long insecure,
relates the Chicago Tribune. turned its
weather-beaten back against a balmy
resentment. Kissed: II see INV finish,
Mhere land is not even a matter of specu-
,ae1on; Tome around this way in about
tWo weeks and you will see what is left of
TINS trail, old body, peacefully reposing on
the TOP, of the gardeners cleaning up bon
Ht SH awe 4fui s Kick Oi Gom up IN Ws2f' now. 7
wonder; In the first place, my An-
i nnoi IN Itself is nothing to be particularly
sideration the fact that I have helped TO
marry on old Rudd's family of three girls
SfeTTI VIII ha- az least concede me the right to
looking through a hammock catalogue the
other day and I've lived Just long enough
seems to me I can feel that onion patch
nre lcking up my bones this minute.
Look at me! Would you believe 1 ever
was new and hung in a shopkeeper's win
dow, with a ticket on me marked $50?
Well. 1 did that very thing, and never got
fell in With the Rudd family live i1 gstne three
years age at about. this season. They kept
me IN the house for a while, but 1 soon
up between these same trees. Here I have
remained ever since, with the exception OF
Two winters, when they stored me in the
garret under an ice chest and a lot of
heavy trunks.
when I began serving old Rudd's family
wanted to get married. There was Anse-
lima. the youngest. Bah! 1 shudder when
! think Of her; she was the softest and
silllest OF the trio. l used to get dizzy when
she sat in me and did her line Of talk. To
tell you the truth, 1 was ashamed of my
bank clerk and 1 got rid of her. I wasn't
sorry either.
mo sooner had Angelina quit lodging
through the branches of these trees on
summer evenings than daughter No. 2 came
along and i had to help her grab on a
say, she was a pearl. She wasn't worse
than Angelina. because that would have
more than fourteen inches from the limit.
rms Pearlie took a lariat and went out
after a younE, dentist who smoked cigar
couldn't stand this. you know, SO one night
when they were both sitting practically
In one spot with their heads so close to-
gether that you couldn't distinguish who
was who, ! just threw up my hands and
collapsed. The next thing Pearlie and the
l know 1t was a mean trick, but I can tell
YOU when / have enough. Pearlie and her
young man used TO move me around to
In me seven nights OF the week long after
the lights In old Rudd's house had been
But one night they failed to show up and
didn't know what the trouble was until /
heard old Rudd say to his wife one night:
We'll, I'm glad Pearlie's got the dentist.
shes been a pretty expensive luxury for
Then l knew that Pearlie had followed
Angelina, but still 1 didn't breathe easy,
for there was still another. Giendoiyn
had to be provided for. She was the Oldest
In fact, 1 heard old Rudd say one night
that he was afraid her case was hopeless.
But II wasn't.
"A new preacher came to town and he
dolyn nabbed him. The way she froze on
to that preacher was a caution. 1 used 10
see them walking about the yard. but she
couldn't land hin my way for a long time.
seductive null moon, the preacher fell a
victim to her charms, and the next thing
he knew he was sitting in the middle Of nv
back; with Gwendolyn on his lap. / sort
preacher. After that first night voI
couldn't have kept Mr.. Clergyman away
from me with a standing army. / heard
from laughing, for he seemed afraid she
would refuse. I knew better. Gwen had
been too busy corraling him to take any
chances SO she gtggled and blushed and
smack. but l never have been able to make
up my mind whether he kissed her or the
noise was made by the breaking OF a limb
In this tree over here.
i've simply been telling you what 7
have done. You see what I am, so there
no need of further Old Rudd
didn't ever think enough of me TO put me
into winter quarters this year, and alto
gether I've had a hard time of ii. The one
thing that hurts me more than any other
Is that my successor won't have to carry
up the list"