The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-05-13
OVER AN UMBRELLA
BY C. B. LEWIS

hunting for something better than burdocks
to eat. She found it when she looked over
the taiboard OF the wagon and espied the
sacred umbrella she had never seen the like
OF it before, and the taste novel and
palatable. The more she ate the more she
wanted, and she never stopped until the last
ing of cover had been swallowed and -vigor-
Gus but unsuccessful effort made to deyour
handle and ribs
Mrs. Cantwell drove home without having
looked under the seat and realized what a
wreck accompanied her 1t only as she
Preached her own door ard Mrs Peabody came
across the road that the tragedy was dis
covered. Excuses and apologies and Offers
to make repairs didn't go. With the wreck
Rugged to her bosom Mrs. Peabody retired 20
her own house, and good will to men flew out
of the back door as she entered the front
A quarrel over a broken fatiron may bS
confined to two neighbors, but difference
OF opinion over a remarkable umbrella is a
different thing. No one charged Mrs Can't
we'll with deliberately bringing about the
wreck, but she blamed for not keeping
one eye on hungry COWS outside the store
while she had the other on seven-cent calico
inside She knew the associations and senti-
ments surrounding that relic, and sooner
than submit it to peril she should have hired
a boy to watch it, The pros and cons were
discussed at every freside in the village, and
of course a feeling of bitterness was engen-
dered. In less than week nelghbors who
had always borrowed sugar and tea Of each
other were refusing to lend, and back gatea
were being nailed up.
Deacon Peabody was good man. So was
Deacon CantweII. Together they had passed
the contribution boxes in church and counted
up the receipts after the sermon They had
worked out their road tax side by side, and
had stood elbow to elbow in temperance cru
sades and town improvements. That long
friendship was now broken. After looking
at the dilapidated umbrella for the fftieta
| time Deacon Peabody had said TO his neigh
| Dor:
Deacon Cantwell, l never dunned a man
| in my life, but you owe me so cents.
| II do, and here it is replied Deacon Can't
| well, land I'm free to say l think you are
| mean man"
Il don't want any words with you.
| Nor l with you
| you'll take your boss out of my pas
ture!''
And you'll keep your hogs outer my gar
den!'
The minister naturally heard Of the rise
and fall of the remarkable umbrella, and.
| although ne refused to become an adherent
of either side, he felt it his duty to touch
upon the affair from his pulpit He didn t
mention the umbrella by name, nor was ne
| too hard upon the hungry COW He dldn I
hint that Mrs Cantwell was careless or Mrs.
Peabody impetuous, and the meeting between
| the deacons was passed over entirely. He
simply found Biblical parallel and worked
it I'D for the benefit Of both sides, and the
result almost wrecked the church. For the
next three months there more backblt-
| ing in the village than should have been
heard of in ten counties, and there were no
signs of a let up when an incident stepped in
| to restore peace.
One day Deacon Peabody's wife went up
into the garnet to overhaul an old trunk.
The place needed airing, and she raised a
window A hand organ was playing down
! the street, and she held up the sash with
one hand an leaned out to see and to near
Next thing she knew she was hanging head
downward on the outside of the house, Wnl1e
the sash rested on her ankles and held her
fast
/ Deacon Cantwell's wife was sewing carpet
rags in her sitting-room when series OF
shrieks lifted her out of her chair and pro-
PEELED her to the front door. For lew sec
/ onds she was overcome by the sight OPP
! posite Then she made run for It, ana
two minutes later she was in the PEABODY
garrett. Colonial umbrellas, hungry COWS and
the tongue of gossip were forgotten as she
| tugged and pulled at the hanging burden
When it was finally drawn back over the
window sill, both women tainted away ana
tangled up with each other, and Sllas Good
heart, who had heard the last shrieks and
come running, stood over them with uplltteo
hands and said:
Now let the heather rage, for umbrellas
is nowhar, and peace is restored to Glen
vile forevermore.