davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
BGrrO Punchil.G Profanity.

In his book "A Day With a Tramp
and Other Days" Walter Wyckoff tells
the following story Of profanity and
burro punching in the west:
The burros plainly shared the feel
Ing of relief in reaching more passa
bic region. and the art of burro punch.
Ing began consequently to disclose its
difficulties.
They were m st difficult to manag
at the fords. Generally they scattered
to the four winds at the first approach
TO water. and when we had corralled
them again and forced them down to
the brink they would stand calmly.
planted ankle deep in the stream. res
Olutely determined not to move.
1T was then that Price gave vent to
real profanity. and am bound to own
that it was effective. When beating
and prodding and the milder invective
failed to urge the burros forward.
Price would stand back. pale with
rage. and begin to swear. calling upon
all his gods and blasting the reputa
tiOn Of his beasts unto the third and
fourth generation of their ancestors.
by some subtle perception they
seemed to understand that this meant
business. and slowly at first but pres
emily. as though they rather enjoyed
the water. they waded through and
started down the trail beyond
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
SWALLOWING Salt Wafer

One Of the most beneficial features OF
a sea bath Is the salt water inadyer
tently swallowed by bathers. 1t is n
wonderful tonic for the liver. stomach
and Kidneys. In many cases ii viii
cure biliouSness when al drug prepara
tons have failed. 1t is peculiarly eff
fective Ia ordinary cases of indigestion
disordered stomach and insomnia and
has been known to produce excellent
results in many cases Of dyspepsia.
Clean sea water Is full Of tonic and
sedatiye properties. 1t won't hurt any
body. Indeed two or three big swal-
lows Of it would be of positive benefit
to nine bathers out of ten 1t Is not,
OF course, palatable or tempting dose
to take. but neither is Quinine or Gallo
mel. You seldom II ever see an old
sailor who is bilious or dyspeptic or
victim to insomnia, and why? For the
reason that an ocean of good medicine
spreads all about his sky. and be doses
himself copiously with 1t whenever his
physical mechanism becomes the least
bit deranged Washington Star.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
ATTACKED BY A HERON.
Boy Tries to Capture the Bird and
Nearly Loses His Life,

I've hunted everything from gray
squirrels to grizzlies" said veteran
Philadelphia sportsman 10 writer in
the New York Times. and the nearest
| ever came TO being seriously injured
by any sort OF game was one time
when a wounded bird attacked and
tried to kill me.
Il was boy then and went down to
creek that flowed through my father
farm to watch for mink. 1t was early
In the evening and a blue heron came
and sat within tempting gunsh0t.
knew II would spoil my chances at
mink to shoot the bird, and didn't in
tend to do 1t, but. kidlike | raised the
gun and took aim just to see how |
gun and then raised 1t again Every
time | raised ii | would touch the trig
ger gently. After awhile | touched il
too hard the gun went off and | start
ed toward the heron, which was wound
ed
Il thought It would be a good scherle
to catch the bird and started to do so
when its bill shot out like a sledse
hammer and struck me between the
eyes. When l came TO my senses. II
was dark. and it was several minutes
longer before | could remember where
| was or what had happened. A little
harder and the bird would have killed
me. | shudder even yet when think
what would have been the result if the
bill had struck one Of my eyes"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
NATURAL HISTORY.

Thoro dShbred dogs are less intelli-
gent than mongre!s.
A fnll grown elephant can carry
three 1U.u, Oh its back
The hurse has no eyebrows.
There a,e $500 muscles in the body
of mOtl.
The Dorking fowl Is the only living
bird winch in its adult condition pos
sesses ave toed foot.
The largest bird Of prey In the old
world is the iammergeier. or bearded
vulture. which has a wing eXpanse of
nine to ten feet
Comparatively few horses attain to
seventeen hands. but Kansas boasts Of
one that measures twenty hands and
weighs 2.i12 pounds
Wasps may often be observed de-
taching from fences. boards or any old
wood the fibers. which they afterward
manufacture into papier mache.
The smallest OF British animals Ia
the harvest mouse. which makes a
globular nest In wheatfields A full
grown specimen weighs half an ounce.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18

The first iron ship has more reputed
birthplaces than Homer. Both the
Clyde and the Mersey claim pre-emi-
nence In this respect. Sir E. J. Robi-
son Of Edinburgh designed an Iron yes
sci In 1916. which was not launched
till three years later. and 1t is said
that an iron boat was worked on the
Severn even as far back as 1887. Steel
was not used in the construction Of
merchant ships hulls until 1859. Old
salts were not alone In their belief that
wood was meant by Providence to
6oat. but iron to go to the bottom. A
naval constructor of some repute once
said: Don't talk to me of iron ships.
They are contrary to nature" Now
none but small craft are built Of wood
In this country.-Chambers' Journal
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
The Awakening.

The meanast man on earth has just
been located. His mind had been wan
dering with fever for three weeks, and
when he came back to his senses and
opened his eyes he saw fair face un
der white cap bending over h.t -i,il
low:
"Who-whO are your he gasped
I'm the trained nurse"
The trained nurse! Oh, good Lord
And how much am paying you?"
She told him. and he turned his head
groaning in the soreness of his aff1ic
ton. A few moments later. though, his
face lit up with fash Of hope But
I'm back in my right mind now
amt I?'
"Why, yes; think you are"
"All right, then" with fierce exulta
ton. Il give you notice for tonight"-
New York Commercial Advertiser
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Kindred Vices.

The Rev Justus Forward. settled In
Belchertown, Mass, a hundred years
ago, once reprOvCd workman for
swearing while he was plowing-a new
field. Swear said the man. Il guess
you'd swear"
Mr.. Forward took the plow and hur-
rled after II. Indignantly denying the
charge. Then, as the field became
more impossible. he began painting:
Il never did see the like. never did
see the like" When he had gone
once round the field. he stopped breath
less and said:
There. you see l didn't find 1t neces-
sary to swear"
NO" drawled the other man, but
you've told more'n fifty lies. You said
you never did see the like. and you
saw it oil the time | was plowin'"-
Youths Companion.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Ca ndies,

Such candies as peanut brittle are far
less injurious than fancy mixtures. as
they are made by simply melting sugar
and are without acids. Acid in the
presence Of heat splits ordinary sugar
into two forms. dextrose and levulose.
These are both deadly sweets and much
more prone to fermentation than real
sugar. This Is the reason why so many
housewives cannot make good cranber-
~ or other Jelly.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Cruelty to LObstere.

It Is singular how the cruel practice
OF boiling Holsters alive continues. Our
forefathers and indeed our parents
let calves bleed slowly to death. on
the theory that In no other way could
white meat be secured, and later on
calves were bled one day and killed the
next. Now, every one knows that a
calf can be killed In humane manner
and the veal made Just as good. and
generally speaking. animals killed foI
food have been put out of the way In
a much more humane manner than for
merly. But Holsters are still tortured
out OF existence. the only difference be-
ing that. while formerly they were ex-
clusively boiled to death. now some are
boiled and some are brOiled. Which
process causes the most agony 60 one
can say.-Exchange.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18

There are two varieties Of mustard
black and white. Black mustard is
the most valuable for commercial pur-
poses. Its seeds are very minute
weighing not more than one-fftieth Of
a grain each. Its pungent taste is
caused by an essential oil. This oil
can. like fruit fiavors. be exactly imi-
tated by the chemists. Both as ia bic
condiment and as medicine mustard
has been known from very remote
period.
AS now found in our grocery stores
this spice consists Of white and black
mustard seeds. mixed and ground fine
The white mustard keeps better than
the black variety and is not so bitter
A good deal of the mustard sold is
adulterated. sometimes with wheat
-four. but more often with tumeric. the
pulveriZed root Of common East In
dian plant
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
TAME FISH IN A RIVER.
Travellers Story of What He Saw
In Upper Burma.

When In camp the other day, | was
riding through village when the vii
fage headnan asked me if would like
70 see the fish" |, not knowing what
the headman meant. at once went with
him down TO the banks OF the stream
followed ~ several villagers with
iassets OF sessanum and paddy mixed
together. Then the thuggi called Lay.
lay. lay, lay" for a few moments.
neatwe. or big. short. fattish fish
came up just under our feet and were
promptly fed by the Burnans.
The fish We're amazingly tame and
tolerated being stroked and petted
even by me. There were in al about
thirty three Of them, varying in size
from eighteen inches To three and Il
half feet long, the larger ones having
a girth at the gills Of about thirty inch
es. They would go away and come
back whenever they We're called.
The villagers told me-and | see no
reason to doubt what they say-that
these same fish come up against the
monsoon flood at the end of June and
go away about October every year.
They can recognize individual fish by
marks, scars, etc. which they pointed
out 10 me.
The Mon Is nearly dry in the cold
and end OF the hot weather, and the
feet that these fish return to this one
village landing stage every Year reg.
ularly and never go TO any other is
quite worthy OF remark. A yillager
who Kills any Of them has to undergo
penalty OF ~ shillings by common
consent, and great care is in conse-
quence taken of them.
The nsatWe of upper Burma is n
very short. thick fish. tapering rapidly
from behind the gillS to the tail. has
long feelcrs on both upper and lower
lip and has no noticeable teeth. II.
makes very good eating and has bat
few bones. | have often heard Of tame
fish in tanks, but a herd of tame fish
In monsoon river connected with the
great Irawadi Is very bizarre phe-
nomenon.-Burma Cor London Field.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Mon0fOn0ux TOneA.

II voices were cultivated toward ex
preston In speaking as we'll as In sing
ing, the variety Of tone would be very
agreeable to the listener. Many people
find the monotonous tone used in ev-
eryday conversation very irritating
and would hail with delight any meth
cd which would tend toward breaking
this tiresome sameness Even beauty
Of tone does not save this monotony
from condemnation. 1t Is like striking
one key of a musical instrument over
and over again. The teaching Of elo-
cution should be Of aid in this direc-
tion or the practice of reading aloud.
striving to give proper expression to
each Sentence-Detroit News Tribune.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Both Caught.

There are two Portland women who
have lost faith each in the other. They
were attending the meeting Of the lit
erary union and on emerging from the
hall found sharp shower in progress.
Each announced to the other that she
must telephone for a carriage. and
they departed into different stores. os-
tensibiy for that purpose. When, ten
minutes later. the women met in a
Spring street trolley ear, no .allusion
was made the carriage. - KennebeC
NIe) Journal
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
ST 90 A YEAR.
DIFFERENCES IN FOGS.
Sea Mist and London Gloom Have
Nothing In Common.


The fog of London and the fog OF
the sea alike discompose traffic, and
omnibuses and steamships alike have
hal to lay to for safety. But while
the London fog gets into your inmost
room and battles even the electric light
though the candle comes out tr,um-
plant curiously-the denscst fog at
"a does not disturb the saloon or the
Stateroom. Why is that?
The word fog has not been traced
further back than the sixteenth cen
tury. but the thing was known in the
early years OF the fourteenth The
commons. with the prelates and mobiles
visiting London for the parlianents
and on other occasions. united to petit
ton Edward l. to compel the burning
only of dry wood and charcoal. as the
growing use of sea coal corrupted the
air with its stink and smoke. to the
great prejudice and detriment Of
health. In 1906 the king prohibited
the use of coal. Heavy ransom and
fines were inflicted for disobedience.
In the case of recalcitrant brewers. dy-
ers and other artifcers the furnaces
and kilns were destroyed. But the re-
Striction was evidently removed. for In
1908 $25o-probably equal to about ST.
600 now-was paid from the exchequer
for wood and coal for the coronation
of Edward II.-New York Commercial
Advertiser
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
The Game Destroying Locomotive

The Game Destroying Locomotive.
Said a railroad engineer: The aver
age man has no idea how many AMI
mails and birds are killed every year
by the ears. If you will walk along
railroad, you will see toads. frogs and
snakes almost every mile that have
been cut in two by the engine.
But these are not the only forms OF
animal life that suffer. | have run
down wooden TckS. raccoOns. squirrels.
hellgchoGs and pretty nearly every 9th
or sort Of small animal. Once saw Il
ruifed grouse sitting on tla track 1t
waited and did not seem at all afraid
When at last it did get IN. the engine
was so close that it struck the bird
and tossed it to one side. dead
But the strangest experiences | ever
had were in the south. was running
an engine on the Queen and Crescent
road. which goes through Lake Pont-
chartrain on a long trestle Ducks and
other water fowl were numerous on
the lake and the sight of headlight
seemed to attract them, Just as the
light in lighthouse attracts many
birds. One night we struck q flock OF
ducks that smashed into the engine
and cab as though 1t were raining
them from the clouds. They broke the
forward windows Of the cab, and we
gathered up enough ducks for two
good. big game dinners"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Origin of Our Secret Service

The United States secret service had
Its origin in the early sixties under the
auspices of the war department. 1t ac-
tually grew out of the fact Of Captain
Lafayette f. Baker Of the Union army
offering his services to Secretary Sew
ard as police scout to - her informa
ton concerning the Confederate army.
During the war the United States be-
gan the issuance of greenbacks. Then
came the first appearance OF green
goods" men. By an act OF congress IN
1861 or 1862 $4,000 was appropriated
for the maintenance of Bakers service
to suppress counterfeiting. The super
vision Of the service was then under
the solicitor Of the treasury. - New
York Tribune.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
MERIDIAN OF GREENWICH.
An English Town which II the
Hea do unrfers Of EatheE Tirae

An English Town Which II the
HeadGunrters of Father Tin1e.
GreenWIch, as an English town, Is
nothing very remarkable. hut as the
headquarters Of Father Time it is the
most important spot on the earth. Its
time is in every lvngitude of the globe,
and every land, excepting Spain Por-
tugal and Russia, measures the hours
from its meridian. NJ navigator ~.
duty is without Greenwich time 4,
sight, and every town and geogra phi
cal point is known by its distance east
OF west from the Greenwich observa-
tory.
Ask the time, and the answer is al
ways in even hours ahead or behind
Greenwich or else the exact Green
wich time. In Great Britain, Belgium
and Holland you get the Greenwich
time. One hour before Greenwich time
rules in Germany. Austria Hungary.
Denmark, Italy. Sweden, Norway and
Switzerland
Two hours ahead Of Greenwich is
adopted in Bulgaria, Roumania and
Turkey in Europe. Eight hours ahead
OF Greenwich applies in the Philip
pines. Nine hours before the Green
wich time is used in Australia.
Ten hours ahead of Greenwich is Off
cial in Victoria, Queensland and Tas-
Mania. The United States, Canada and
Mexico have adopted the fifth. seventh
and eighth hours after.
So it is around the earth-every tick
of every clock regulated by Greenwich
tme.-New York Herald.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Soothing.

Ii Hung Chang had beyond all doubt
an iron will and very unsenrimental
heart Once when he was viceroy Of
Chill man who had tampered with a
telegraph wire was brought before
him. The man wrung his hands and
begged for mercy. saying that he would
lever touch the wire again.
Don't be vexed. my good fellow"
said Ii. ''or trouble yourself any fur
ther about the matter. shall take care
that 1t does not happen again"
Then he turned to the jailers and
gave the order. ''Cut of his headr'
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
A STORY OF LINCOLN.
The Letter That Was Stolen and the
Rascal who Stole II.


Renajat C. Jayne during most OF the
civil war was the personal assistant OF
Edwin NJ. Stanton, tie famous wa
secretary. Cne day Lincoln sent r
Jayne TO come to the White Ho,.s-.
MY boy" said he. there is letter /
would like to have you look at
Jayne picked up the letter and found
II was from General Dix. 1t conveyed
the information that several Federal
prisoners had escaped from Libby pris-
on with the aid Of Abbie Green. Il wo-
man famous during the war. The let
ter also said that, as the fact Of Alb
bie's assistance was well known, she
had been obliged to fee from Rich
mond and even then was on her way
to Washington on the flag of truce
boat.
Now, my boy" said the president
Il don't know what | should say TO
any rascal who would steal that letter
and have bill passed through con
gress to grant $4,000 to the relief Of
Abbie Green" Mr.. Jayne ''stole the
letter." and the next day both branches
Of congress passed the bill TO grant
$4,000 to Abbie Green. The following
morning Honest Abe" sent for Jayne
again.
II told you | didn't know what
should say" he said. with q twinkle In
his eye, Ito the rascal who would steal
that letter and have congress act on it.
Now. I've made up my mind what 10
say. You go down TO No. -
street, get Abbie Green. take her down
to Chase at the treasury, and don't you
let her go until she gets that money
New Orleans Times Democrat
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Usefu1ness.

1t Is great satisfaction at the close
OF life to be able to look back on the
years that are past and to feel that you
have lived not for yourself alone, but
that you have been useful to others
You may be assured also that the
same feeling Is a source Of comfort
and happiness at any period of life.
Nothing In this world Is so good as
usefulness. 1t binds your fellow crea-
lures to you and you to them: it tends
to the Improvement Of your own char.
acter, and it gives you real impor.
tance In society, much beyond what
any artificial station can bestow.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
A SERPENT'S APPETITE.
His Meal Of q Rnsber Boot Was =
Disastrocs One.


From a gentleman who was at ore
time a resident of Brazil comes re-
markable story about snake that he
encountered in the woods one day
which followed him with much persist
ence.
Sitting on a stump. ! became aware
Of the approach Of huge snake"
writes this gentleman. He must have
been fifteen feet In length. There was
no doubt the snake was about to at
tack me.
without hesitating for a moment |
discharged my two barrels. For short
time the reptile ragged furlously. and |
climbed a nearby tree. | had hardly
reached the first boughs when saw
the snake approaching the tree, and it
climbed up behind me.
Higher and higher | went Higher
and higher came the serpent. My heavy
rubber boots were a great dra wback to
my climbing, SO | tried to get rid OF
them. | took one off and dropped Il.
and just as had the second in ny
hand the snake reached me. and l, in
my desperation. tried to shield myself
with the rubber boot.
"ThCn the snake made dash and,
getting hold Of the boot. turned and de.
scended the tree. | was saved. but !
had not the courage to leave the tree
before my friends arrived. told them
Of the adventure | had and rode home
-uinus one rubber boot OF his srake.
snip nothing could be seen.
"A t,w weeks later on another hunt
ing TRIP we found in the read n big
dead mKe. terribly swollen. We cut it
open emu found. to our astonishment.
my ruOOer boot not In the least In
tured."- New York Times.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
In the StudlO.

"Yv1r work bears the closest kind Of
inspection" remarked the girl with the
dimple. What infinite pains you must
take with it"
Perhaps" replied the artist; but.
do you know. enjoy the pains"
Then" she rejoined. with bright
smile. you. too, pursue art for arts 3
ache"-Chicago Tribune.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
NfCe For Lnvera-

"lf am not too presumptuous." said
the young clerk. Il will ask you to lcOk
at our new typewriter especially adapt
ed for writing love letters"
ooh" exclaimed the blushing maid
'is there any difference"
Yes. indeed. Among the punctuat ation
points there is a little star for marking
kisses. Record.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Depa rtment Store Repartee.

"What are these things?" asked the
customer.
Blackboard erasers," said the shop
girl.
81 don't want anything that will
erase a blackboard. l want chalk
mark eraser"
That's what | meant. These are
chalk mark erasers. Anything else?"
"Yes. l want some lead pencils"
1--WE haven't any lead pencils. We
have some wooden cylinders with
graphite on the inside Of them. Will
they do as lT'-ChicagO Tribune.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
R1leful lCnOrnrc

Little Wil1ie-Paw. where Is tn 18th.
mus Nv Panama?
Father-Th' isthmus Of Panama7 7
Willie, 90 you mean to tell me that you
have been studying grammar two
years and you don't know where the
isthmus of Panama is? If you amt
able to conjugate the isthmus of Pan
anna for me by tomorrow night. III
make you go to bed at o'clock !-Ohio
State Journal
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
The Great ualifcafI0n.

The animals were preparing for anna
teur thea atricals.
81 want to be the heavy villain" sale!
the sheep.
You" sncrted the intelligent horse.
You'd make fierce looking villain.
wouldn't you?"
Maybe not" retorted the sheep. but
I'll bet none OF you can beat me say
ing 'Bahr" Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
SuspicfOUs.

Mrs. Jenkyns--I see Mrs. Hoetong Is
going to have King Lear" at her next
private theatricals.
Mrs Newrich furious with envy
Is she. the affected thing? Do you
know. | don't believe he's a real king
1T au.-Exchange.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
Literary Subjects.

"Whom did you discuss at your liter
ary club this afternoon. dear7" asked
the husban nd In the evening.
Let me see." murmured his wife
"Oh. yes. | remember now! Why. we
discussed that woman who recently
moved into the house across the street
from US and Longfellow."-Ohio State
Journal
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1902-01-18
A Query.

Professor 0ecturing) - Oxygen. gen.
tlemen. is essential to all animal exist
enc@. There could be no life without
it. Strange to say, it was not discov-
cred until Il century ago, when
Student-What Gid they do before 1t
was discovered. sir?