Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1902-03-28
The Promotion of the Admiral
CONTINUED from last week.
Morley Roberts

CONTINUED from last week.
When the admiral woke, which he
did after half an hours shaking. ad-
ministered In turns by three OF the
CALIFORNIA; crew, who were anxious
to know where he had slowed his bot
tie of rum, he was still confused by
the dope" given him ashore. And
then he rose and rested on his elbow.
Where am II" ST.
"On board the California, to be
sure"
I'm dreaming" said the admiral,
that's what 1t is. To be sure, I'm
dreaming"
The ADMIRAL sat up suddenly, and
by so doing brought his head into vio-
lent contact with the deck above him.
This woke him thoroughly just IN time
to receive Mr.. Simpson, mate OF the
California, who came in like cyclone
to inquire after his health.
did you ship as q dead man!'
asked Mr.. Simpson, "for II you did
I'll undeceive you"
And with that he yanked the admiral
from his bunk and dragged him by
the collar out upon the deck at a run.
He rose at the end Of his undignified
progress and stared at the mate.
"Who-who are you?" he said.
Mr.. Simpson gasped.
who am I-oh, who am I. Well,
I'll oblige you by Stain once for all
that I'm mate of this ship. and you're
my dog. Now, you lunatic, take this
here ball Of twine and 60 overhaul
the gear on the main. And II you
open your mouth to say another word
I'll murder you"
And though he could not believe he
was doing it, Sir Richard Dunn
crawled aloft and did what he was
told. He was stunned.
Il must be mad" thought the
admiral
"Now, then, look alive there. you
dead crawling cat" said Mr.. Simpson,
cor I'll come up and boot you on the
ya4~. Do you hear me?"
Eyes, SIR" said the admiral, meek
~, and he murmured, II suppose
never was an admiral after all; dent
seem to know what am"
And the hardest nut among the ad-
mirals Of the active list wiped tear
with the sleeve of his coat and came
down as he was bid.
When the crew were at breakfast
next morning trouble began.
Say, are you an admiral?" asked
knight, the biggest tough on board ex-
cept Simpson and Virgins.
Mind your own business" he said
Aud knight hove full pannikin Of
tea at him. This compliment was re-
ceived very quietly, and the admira
rose and went on deck.
''Takes water at once" said Knight;
"he amt got the pluck of mouse"
But the admiral went aft and inter.
viewed Mr.. Simpson.
Il wish to have your permission tt
knock the head off a man called
knight. for'ard. He hove a panniki1
Of tea over me just now, and think 6
thrashing would do him good and con
duce to the peace and order of the
fo'c's'le."
"Oh, you think SOP" said Simpson
VERY we'll, you have my permission
to introduce peace there"
II thank you, sir" said the Admiral
He touched his hat and went forward
He put his head inside the fo'c's'le ant
addressed knight:
Come outside, you bully, and let me
knock your head off, Mr.. Simpson has
been kind enough to overlook the
breach of discipline involved"
And Knight, nothing 10th, came ou
on deck, while Simpson and Virgins
stood little way off to enjoy the bat
tie.
And in five minutes his mates car
ried Knight into the foc's'le.
II don't know when l enjoyed my,
self more" said Simpson, with sigh
| After that the Admiral had peace
and learnt something every day, anG
not least from Knight. who proved by
no means bad sort OF man when he
had once met his match.
The Admiral and Simpson never haG
a cross word till they were south Of
the Horn. Then by chance the mate
and the captain had few words which
ended in Simpson getting much the
worst OF it. AS luck would have it the
| Admiral was the handiest to vent his
| spite on, and Simpson caught him 8
made him see stars. And when the
| Admiral picked himself off the deck
| Simpson made rush for him. The
Admiral lodged him and shot up the
| poop-ladder. At any other time Bla.
ker, the captain, would have gone fol
the seaman who dared to escape 6
thrashing for the moment by desecra.
| ting the poop, but now he was willing
to annoy Simpson.
"Well, what do you want?' he
roared. ..
well, sir, wanted to know whethe,
Western Ocean custom goes here. I've
been told that If l thrash your mate
I shall have his job. They say for
ward that that's your rule, and If so
sir. should like your permission to
send Mr.. Simpson forward and take
his place."
Capt. Blaker laughed. He went to
the break of the poop and addressed
the mate. ~
do you hear, Mr.. Simpson," he in
CURED, genially.
Send him down, SIR" said Simpson.
Are you sure you can pound him?'
Simpson gritted his teeth and
foamed at the mouth.
"Kick him off the poop, sir"
Are you willing to stake everything
| m vour fiohtin' abilities Mr. Simn-