davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
The Timid Kitten.

TAe:e was = little kitten once
Who was Of dogs afraid.
And being by no means q Ounce,
Ills plans hr boldly made.
He said Its only on the land
That dogs run after me,
~ | will bug cat-hoar, and
III sail away IN sea.
ont there from dogs TN bc secure.
And each night. ere I sleep.
To make assurance duubly sure.
A dog watch ! VIII keep
He bought cat.buat. hired crow,
Aud one fine summer day
Trimlphantly his nag he now,
and gaiIy sailed away.
BIZ. in mid-occan one midnight
IWds very. very dark
me pilot screamed in sudden fright,
hear passing bark
on. what Is that" the kitten said.
The pilot said, Il fear
An ocean greyhound s just ahead.
ana drawing very near"
"Alack.' the kitten cried. "alacE,
This is no paltry pup.
An ocean greyhound ; on nav track
may as we'll give up
Carolyn Wells IN st. Nicholas
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
The Little Gold Clock and the News
paper Rack.

Tick tick, tick" said the little gold
clock. Il am the most valuable article
i'll the house. | count the progress of
time. There isn't anything else here
that can do that"
The brass eyes of the newspaper rack
cleaned angrily in the Pickering fire
light, and a contemptuous sniff caused
the last Youths Companion to drop
from its pocket with thud. DO you
imagine you can do thousandth part
of what | CAM" The little gold clock
held up its hands in horror. but the
newspaper rack went on. "Nou can tick
eff the hours and minutes and seconds.
YOU can tell the time of day; but it is
| who can tell of the centuries; it is /
who can tell of the progress of time.
You have to begin o:er again every
twelve hours, and no one would know it
ii YOU had been running fifty years"
The little gold clock was choking with
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

\ leading English chemist, DR.. Red
wood, says that if oil were generally
used FOR fuel in London the great insti-
tuition known as the London fog would
absolutely disappear. The doctor saws
that the foSs are caused by unconsumed
carbon suspended in the air, and origi-
mating from the thousands of factory
chimueyS belchiug out smoke There is
no carbon or ash from oil. The doctor
points out that oil has been successfully
burned on sea and land. and urges its
compulsory adoption by the manufactur-
crs of the great metropolis.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
Cleanliness and Godliness

The bishop of Fano, in North Italy.
provides for the association of cleanli-
ness with goodness in his instruction to
pastors. In all churches after feast davs
the floors are to be cleansed with sub
Innate solution 1-1000. At least once 4
week pews and confessional benches
must be wiped with a damp cloth and the
grating of the confessionals washed in
l,-a -
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
Hats and Buttons of Paper.

\ substantial business firm in Boston
is considering a proposition to take up
the work of paper hats. They refuse,
however, to give out anv details of the
process which they use in preparing the
raw material for their purposes. \
scheme for the manufacture of paper
buttons is being put forward in Sac
Francisco. These buttons. say the pro
moters of the scheme. will be cheaney
than the bone and metal ones. quite az
serviceable and of as good an appear
ance.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
A Russian Campanile.

st. Marks Campanile is gone. but
there exists in Russia an exact replica.
which already begins to be entitled to
some respect of its own on the score of
age. II was built about 1870 years ago
by the Empress Catherine H.. and
crowns the convent at Narechta, in the
government of Kostroma.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
Strait of Canso to be Bridped.

The Strait of Canso, between Cane
Breton and the mainland of Nova Scotia.
is to be bridged. The task is an i'm
mense one. involving great engineering
difficulties. and the outlay is about So
100000. The bridge will be can't
lever, with IL span of 1900 feet, the
longest in the world
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
Duration of Lightning Flash

1t has been estimated that fash OF
lightning occupies less than one-milliontn
part of a second. As one-tenth of a
second is needed for the full effect of any
light upon the eye we get only a very
faint idea of the brlliancy of the flash
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
An Anti Tipping Society.

An "anti-tipping" society has been
formed in Berlin. The members of the
society pledge themselves not To give
tips either in hotels. cafes, RAILWAYS
or in any place where tipping" is Gus
tOmary.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Everybody's liable to itching piles
Rich and poor, old and young -terrible
the torture they suffer. Only one sure
cure. Doan's Ointment. Absolutely
safe; can't fail.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
History of the Stars and Strfnes.

+. ID. Harrison of Manchester. y. H.,
has been for three years gathering data
for Il history of the Stars and Stripes.
The volume Will consist of all important
first raiSins ot our national emblem dur
ing war and peace in this and foreign
countries.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
Large Island Sparselv Settled

The island of Newfoundland terri
tory as large as the state Of New York
has only about 100000 inhabitants. and
these are sprinkled along the coast line.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
White Paint for Screen Doors.

If thin coat of white paint is put on
the outside Of a screen door or window
is will effectively obscure the view from
outdoors. The paint is scarcely percept-
ible, even on the outside, and from within
cannot be seen at ALL
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

About e20.0O0O00 crossties are now nov
laid on American roads, and 90,000,UVV
new ties are required annually for re-
newals.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Upon the basis of a cord of shell
bark hickory wood being worth So as
fuei the wood of the Lombardy poplar Is
worth only $40.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

was blinded when Il child by his chum,
Bill JangIin@ The latter on arrival to
mans estate has inherited large for
tune. The court, with the wisdom of
Solomon, decides that Jangling must
provide for his unfortunate victim.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

In Galicia the wage of the farm "a
borer has been so reduced that he Il
starving to death on a pittance of from
to 10 cents q day.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

I'm France S3,474,000 is spent every
year in the improvement of horse oreea-
ing.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Strappes Five pounds for a bonnet,
Madam, it is crime! Mrs Swell,
the crime will be on my own head
Glasgow Evening Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

"Why, Harold, Pm surprised! You
should wait until the blessing ia asked. "
II did ask mine" lyon didf' Eyes;
and God said Go ahead" Life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

cap to the minister" Ito himt Grcat
Scott! I'm his caddie!"-Life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11
HUMOROUS ITEMS.

The price that stagGcrs humanity is the
price Of tom Of coal.-New York Press
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

''DO you belong 10 the Law aud Order
Society"
Yes, sir; anybcdy you want lynched%'
Atlanta Constitution.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Mrs. Bickering They all told me when
! married You that you were a fool, and
now ! find that it is true, Bickcring
(grimy)-~I agree with you. / was
San Francisco Bulletin
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

1t was at a fashionable boarding house,
and they had calves brains for lunch.
She spoke to the gentleman next to
her: And do you like calves brains.
Mr.. Domo?"
Il always try to feel content with what
| have, madam"
There is time to laugh even in n
fashionable boarding house.-Tit- Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

After a while she tried to release he:
hand.
DO YOU realize" she said demtrely,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Hushand-Whats wrong with that
house we looked at yesterday?
Wife-lt's too big.
Husband--Well, the one we visited to-
day, then?
Wife-lt's too small
Hushand-Say, what sort of n house
do you want?
Wife-Sir! l do not propose 20 commit
myself boston Post.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

4 Wise Kid--First Small Boy Did
you throw any old shoes after your
sister when She got married. Second
Small Boy Not much. threw all my
mothers slippers Philadelphia Record
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Il am happy to tell you. madam" said
the lawyer to The wife of the railway
accidents victim. that your husband can
recover"
"oh, doctor, | am so thankful -"
Madam. am lawyer, not Il doctor.
and | have reference to damages. not
health, He. of course. cannot live
Houston Post.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Mame-My steady blew me off ter sup
per at n reg Tar RESTRAINT last night.
Mag-Say, they tell me he's real refined.
Mame-Dats wat! When he poured
his coffee out in is saucer ter cool it,
he didn't blow it like some guys would,
bur ist famed it wild is paramq.-
Philadelphia Press.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

What do think Of the signal scry-
ice" repeated Uncle Billy Barlow. in re
ply to query well ! think that q
prediction, well stuck 10. in as
good as the truth. - rittsburs Chronicle
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Magistrate--Did | understand lon 10
say that the parties used high words%
Witncss-Nes, your worship: their
voices were unusually high, and their
language was extremely low.-Glasgow
Evenin" ines.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Father" said Harlem school boz,
what is 'call money that the ncwspa-
pers are saying so much about"
1T Is that money, my SON. was the
answer, that the banks loan to man.
and that they want back Immediately Il
he needs it, and don't want back if he
don't need it,"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Magistratc-Now, I'll let you oir this
time, but it must bc lesson for you not
10 he in bad company again. Prisoner
Gee whizz. it amt my fault th1t I'm
here; the COPS made me come, Ihila-
dclphia Record.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

At 81 a Visit.-"Yes. the doctor has
put me ON the strictest kind Of diet &"
Indeed. What is it?" "Well, be says
I mus MT eat anything | don't like, and
not any more than | want of what do"
Baltimore News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-11

Witncss--Yis, Oi had three more whs-
kies at Cascys place I4uwyer-And
that made you drunk. You admit thai.
OF course. Wtness--Oi'll not swear to
il. Oi dunno was Oi drunk or sober.
fur Oi don't raymmber anything after
thot.-Philadelph Record.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08

SudthsOfC uftN OfttU II. N
DENVER, CoL-Biennial Meeting Ancient
Order Hibernians in America, July 1922
OLe fare for the round trip to Denver,
Colorado Springs or Pueblo, Col Tickets
good going July 10 and II. valid for re.
turn to Aug. 81. inclusive.
DENVER, Col. Fraternal Congress
Aug. $3.50. One fare for the round trip to
Denver, Colorado Springs or Pueblo. Col
Tickets good going Aug. % and %. good
returning until Sept. 30. Intensive.
DENVER, Col National Association of Let
ter Carriers. Sept. 1-6. One fare for the
round trip to Denver, Colorado Springs or
Pueblo, Col. Tickets good going Aug. 20
to III, good returning un. il Sept. 30, i'm
elusive.
MINNEAPoLIs, MINN.-National Educational
Association. July I'll One fare plus 81 90
for the round trip. Tickets on sale July
to 6, good returning leaving Minneapo-
lis not earlier than July nor later than
July IA. BY deposit Of ticket with Joint
Agent not earlier than July nor later
tnan July IA and payment or fee of fifty
cents an extension of return limit may be
secured to leave Minneapolis to and in
Guiding Sept L.
MT. LAKE PARK. MD.-Y. M. G. A Secreta-
res OF n: A. Biennial Conference. June
lilo. Tickets on sale June and 10 valid
lor return to June II. inclusive.
SAni i-AhE tIfY, UTAH.-GTand Lodge b.
r " r.. Aug. 1914. One fare for the
round trip to Chicsgo or st. Louis added
y AaF5 authorized therefrom Tickets
eA saie Aug. 6 to s, valid for return Until
eeps II, inclusive.
SAA 90 ycIsco, CAL Imperial Council, No
mes e Mystic Shrine. Very low rates.
iickets on sale May 26-June I, valid for
return within sixty 1907 days from date of
safe zen properly executed and on pay
: menf Il fifty cents at time OF execution.
SO rfAScrsco, CAL.-Biennial Meeting
hnssa.s of Pythias. Aug 1914. One fare
70 Snlcago plus $50 for the round trip.
ileAss on sale Aug to 7, valid for re-
n, turn e Sept. 80. inclusive.
Y 4 a BiNs TON, ID. C.-National Encampment.
a T., Oct. ell. One fare for the round
lnp. tickets good going Oct 4 to I, valid
lol return until Oct IA. By deposit of
ucke' With Joint Agent at Washington
ana payment of fee Of fifty cents, extern
ssea q return limit may be secured to
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD
Excursions to Niagara. Falls

BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD
Excursions to Niagara Falls
UNDER PERSONAL ESCORT.
July and II. august 2, l6 and 80, Septenl-
te,. % and October g.
A Ten (3Os Day Tonr to Niagara Falls.
Americas Greatest Natural Wonder. via Bal
timore & Ohio ROYAL Blue Line, Philadelphia
d Reading and Leiiigh Valley Route, through
the beautiful Lehigh and Wyoming Valleys
Special train of elegant Day Coaches and Par
lor Cars will be run on above dates, leaving
Washington, ID. C-.......- ..S3i1 A. NJ
Baltimore, Md. (Camd Station. %. 10 A. M
Round trip tickets for this excursion will be
placed on sal at the following stations at the
rate annexed
Harpers Ferry, ". Va. $11 so
Shenandoah Junction, w. Va. .11. o
Charles Town, w. 10
Stop-overs allowed on return trip at Buffalo
Rochester, Geneva, Watkins g en- aud Mau b
Chunk.
Only &100 Niagara Falls to Toronto and re-
turn, via N. Y. G. q H. Il. X. H., $l25 Via
= George Route"
Side trip to Thousand Islands from Roches-
er only $500 ronnd "Trip, Tickets good five
days but wIthin return limit of Mag ara Falls
ticket.
Special arrangements for lunch and supper
en- route at very reasonable rates. Cali on
Ticket Agents Baltimore & Ohio r. r. for full
particulars.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
PEABODY COLLIE gle SUMNER scHoo,

PEABODY COLLIE GE SUMNER SCHOOL.
Nashville, Tenn, June 16-July 2S. 1709. On
account OF the above occasion, the Southern
from us coupon ticket stations in Virginia Ia
Nashville, Tenn, and return, at rate OF one
hrst-class fare for the round trip. Tickets re-
tfictea 70 continuous passage in each drec-
ton; TO be sold June ~, ID, "A, 81, % and 20
ana July ), and 5, final limit for return July
d, lsos. except that BY deposit of tickets with
JOINT agent at Nashville on or before July 81
1909. and upon payment Of fee of soc. an en-,
tension to any GATE not later than September
80, 1902, may be obtained For further mi or.
nation, tickets, etc., call on nearest Southern
Railway ticket agent
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
sEAsHoRE EXCURSIONS
July roth and a4th August 9TH and 2Ist
1909


Via N. q w. Railway, Cumberland Val
ley Railroad, and Pennsylvania Railroad, to
Atlantic City, Cape May. Ocean City, Sea
Isle City, Avalon, Anglesea. Wildwood, and
Holly Beach. N. j., via Hagerstown. Fare
from Charlestown, SIS IS. and like reduced
rates from other stations.
Tickets are good going only on date sold
as stamped on back. and must be used
through to destination within two days,
except that stop-over of ten days may be
had at Philadelphia by depositing tickets
Immediately upon arrival with Agent at
Broad Street Station.
Tickets are good for return passage Seven
teen III days including date of sale.
Through Pullman Sieepers on Trains 2
and4 to Philadelphia. Connection at Broad
Street Station Pennsylvania Railroad for
Atlantic City and other Seashore Resorts.
Additional information upon application
to Agents Norfolk & Western Railway, or
w. b. BEvILL,
General Passenger Agent
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08

SUMNER SCHOOL, Knoxville, Tenn, June
10-JuIy 80, 1902. On account of the above
occasion the Southern Railway has authorized
the sale Of tickets. from coupon ticket offices
on its lines in Virginia. TO Knoxville. Tenn.
and return, at one first fare for the round
trip. Tickets on sale June Ii. II, Is. 2S, 20
and 80, and July 4. ~ and 10, final limit for
return August Is, 1902. Tickets subject to
continuous passage in each direction. For
further pai ticulars, tickets. ETC., call on near
est Southern R'y Coupon Ticket Agent.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
Worth it's Weight in Gold.n

says sufferers from catarrh, of Ely's Cream
Balm, trial size costs 10 cent?. Full size
% cents: so Sold by druggist or m allied by Ely
Bros, 90 Warren Street, New York.
Albert Lee, Mimi. March 81 1909
Messrs. Ely Bros. I'll suffered from a
severe cold IN the head, and was about dead
from want of sleep. used your Gre m Balm
and woke up with clear head and cold A..
most gone. | would not take five dollars far
my bottle OF Cream Balm if could not oct
ahoancr. s. X. Lansdae
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
sOuTHWARD.
Train 81 connect with Southern r. r.
at Ssrasburg junction at 1926 aud 7.45 p. n.

Mixed Trains Southbound pass CharlesTewn
a. s. aud 700 a.. ~. Arrive at Strashurg
Junetion at COZ and 1898 a. N.
Mixed trains northbornd pass Charles Town
at 40I p M and i.;2 a. N. Arrive ut Harpef's
Ferry at 4.5S p. IA. and 2 Is a. M
CONNECTIONS.
Trains connects at Harper Ferry with Fast
LimitedExpress train leaving alta 10 y. m. and
1914 pm, arriving at Chicago 9 40 a. m; aid
u, 90 noon, and with train Leaving al 5.43
p. nj. arriving at Cincinnati al 4 20 n M. ST
Louis s. 45 y. M; aud connects at Meaverton
at II 40 u. M, arrive Ut n eerstown at 1910
p m, Washington Junction With train areig-
ing at Frederick at i.55 = ~.
Train IA connects Wit i Fact Vestibue train
at Harper's Ferry at s5S u. m. for Chicago, ut
1926 p. IN. Fer Piitsbusg aud ii:49 a. nj fur
Cinclnnatti and st. Louis. Arrive at Fits
burg at ESQ a. m, Chicago at 9.45 Il M. Gin
cinnatfi at p, m, and st, Louis Use a. M
Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars are run
through to Cincinnati, 81. Louis, and Chicago
on all express trains.
For rates tickets. baggage checked, apply
TO any office OF the B. u q. Railroad
W A. SfENGI4ER,
! Ticket Agent. Charles Town. W. Va.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08

Special Tax Notice.

Ny term of Office will expire With DE end 81
this monrt and ms official hn-iisess INST pos
lively be closed up. These Indebted ffsr
Taxes mnst pay. and they will please come
forward at once and settle. to avoid further
trouble. EUGENE BAKER.
Dec. IS. Sheriff,
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08

EsoR SALE. have for tale for less than
half prize. t'1tehrrs lee b. r. i good
osae fssaf wsil hold Two ca tie or ~ re. thar
VII ~ tsn ~ tase low price of - Could not
sisake otle sax less sAaD -. esese nd see ma
JOSEPH II. EASTEal,YY. sR
!. Charles 81. Charles Towu. W Va.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
Baltimore Sc Ohio Railroad
EXCURSIONS TO
ATLANTIC CIT1,

ATLANTIC CI1N,
Cape May, Sea Isle City and Ocean City, N. J.
Ocean City, Md, and Rehoboth Beach, Del,
AT VERY LOW RATES.
Thursdays, June 10, July II and 81, dug "A
and IS, and Sept. 4, 1902.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
w. MOY
First Laundry.
Brown Building, opposite National Bank.
CHARLES TOWN, w. VA.

Our Laundry Turns ont the very best OF
work Work taken every day and turned out
the second OF third. Shirts. Collars aud Cufs
10 gloss or domestic finish. just as you like il.
Our work Is all done by baud and orr clothes
syils last twice e. long a. when washed hy ma
chnery, Please give me call. 81 work
guaransecd- Yours respectfully.
Nov u. ". MoY.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
Vulcan PIOWS

Mich g
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08

Tickets will be good sixteen days, including
date of sale.
For full information concerning tickets,
stop-overs, time of trains, sleeping and parlor
car accommodations, call on or address near
est Ticket Agent, Baltimore & Ohio 4. R. for
full information. is 5.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
HISKEY
si.25 PER GALLON.

Mention this paper and send for private price
list Write. WINSTON bis CO. Winston.
NC. LOWEST PRICED wHiSKEY HOUSE.
April O.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
Principal Conventions

Held in Tarious Port ons of aa< United States
for Which Special Rates sciR be in Effect MA
Baltimore and Ohio II. r.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1902-07-08
BALTIMORE &0HlO
RAILROAD.
xoRTHyARn.

Time fallle il effect Nag Is, 1909, until fur
Their notice
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1902-09-19
His HHfnner End"

An English clergyman and a lowland
Scotsman entered IN of the best
schools in Aberdeen. The master re-
ceivcd them kindly and inquired:
would you prefer that l should
spcor question: these boys or that you
shcUld, spcer thnU:"
The English :iergyman desired the
master to proceed. He did SO with
great success, and the boys answered
satisfactorily numerous intcrrogations
as to the exodus Of the Israelites from
Egypt. The clergyman then said he
would be glad to 'speer the boys and
at once began:
"How did Pharaoh die?"
There was q dead silence.
In his dilemma the lowland gentle
man intcrpcsed:
II think, sir, the boys are not accus.
toned to your English accent. Let me
try what l can make of them" And
he inquired in broad Scottish:
"Hoo did Phawraoh dee?"
Again there was Il dead silence, upon
which the master said:
"Noo. boys. fat cam to Phawraoh at
his hinner end?"
1.-THE boys with II voice answered.:
"He was drooned."
And a smart little fellow added:
sony lassie could haze tellt ye that
London Tit-Bits.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1902-09-19
The Man He Wanted.

Senator Ozark of Montana had occa.
sion onc out In Helena to hire q car
riage driver. The roads were noun
famous, and a skillful mar was need
ed. On the appointed day the candi-
dates for the position appeared. you
know where the road runs along the
mountain. with the hill on one side and
a gorge on the other, five miles from
here?" asked Senator Clark. and all
the men nodded attirmatively. How
near can you go to the edge OF the
road" was asked. without upsetting
my carriage?"
The first man said. -Four feet;" the
next man answered. 1.-TWO feet;" the
third mar said that he would drive
close to the edge. and the fourth man
allowed that II one wheel was over
the brink he could still urn the horses
in time to save the carriage.
At last Mr.. Clark turned to a brawny
Irishman. "What would you do?" he
asked.
"Begorra, Mr.. Clark said the Irish
nan 81 would keep as close to the
side Of the hill as l could without pull
ing off a Wheel"
you are the man | want" replied
Mr.. Clark, and the Irishman got the
job.