Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
Shopping for His Wife X X - ------------- -------
 By CLARA AUGUSTA.
r TAMEs," said Mrs. Hunt, as her

s Y JAMES," said Mrs. Hunt, as her
 TA husband was swallowing his hot coffee, preparatory to taking a flying trip by the $50 car to the city, T want you to do a few little errands in town for me. My best hat is at the milliner,s to be fur bished up a little, and your Aunt Jenkins is liable to come any minute, and Maggie is scalding oyer the pick les, and she'll burn 'em to cinder if I'm not here to see after her, and dear little Fido's eyes look as if he might be coming down with fits, and my head aches fit to split, and really don't feel as if could go to town to-day, and there are some things I must have"
 five no time to look after a lot of women's gimcracks.' said MT. Hunt, contemptuously, land l." but ceed.
 "Oh, James, you really must find the time-unless you feel that your judgment would not be good in mat ters of this kind. know that not one man in 40 knows anything about shopping, and-''
 "Humph!'' grunted MT. Hunt, gulp- ing down an extra large mouthful of oatmeal. Judgment, indeed! If I couldn't do better thousand times at the shopping business than any woman, then I'd be everlastingly jig gered! Yes, I would. could buy $500 worth of things while you were getting ten cents worth of handker- chiefs. Bah! it makes me tired to hear so much twaddle about men not knowing how to shop
 t'Well, if you really think you would be able to judge about these things I want, James," said Mrs. Hunt, Automatically, for well she knew that the surest way to induce him to do thing was to imply that you really think you know about them-"
 "Know? Of course I know. Why shouldn't I know? Any fool would know about lem. Fire off your list, and be quick about it, Polly, for I've got to get move on"
 "Let me write list. I'm afraid your memory isn't quite so good as woman's, and" -s .-..-- .s4-
 "Fo1-de-rol! I can forget more in six seconds/than the average woman can remember in lifetime" said MT. Hunt, as he wriggled into his over coat and fumbled in the pockets. "Where in the dickens are my gloves? Strange that my gloves are never where put 'eln! Whatever have you done with them gloves, Po1ly?" "Here they are, right in your hat, James, and now listen, to what I tell you, and try and not make any mis- takes. I want five yards of blue cambric for Rosa's Henrietta dress. and a card of hooks and eyes - De black canvas, and two yards of tur- key red, medium bright, and four yards of cheese cloth, and a paper of needles--sixes, and some school shoes for Tommy, 141a, and rubber heels and no nails in the toes, and oh, get me jar of cold cream, and some celery salt, and some stove blacking-Blazerine, and-''
 There's the car!, shouted Mr. Hunt, as he dived down the front steps, followed by his wife's persist ent cry of
 Don't forget two pairs of black stockings, medium weight-''
 ssWhat a tom-fool mess of stuff women do have to buy,'' unused MT. Hunt, as he settled himself in the car, unfolded the morning paper, and glanced over the column headed "Fi- nancial."
 As MT. Hunt issued from his place of business at night, he began to try and recall what his wife had told him, and at the first dry goods store he came to he rushed in, believing, as most of his sex do, that a woman never purchases anything except at a dry goods store.
 He hurried up to the counter near est the door, and began to reel off his wants to the lofty-looling young lady in attendance.
 q yfpt five yards of red Henriet- ta forS8 blue cambric dress, and some humpy hooks, long ones, you know. and two red turkeys, medium smart, and a cheese in a cloth, and"
 Sir" said the young woman, with ineffable disdain, "this is not a meat market. It is Messrs. Pull & Shrink ems dry goods emporium, and this is the soap lady's department"
 "Yes, yes, so I believe" said Mir. Hunt, apologetically, "but I want to get five red Henriettas, and a4.pair of shoes for No. 131a boy, with rub Der heels and no toe nails''
 .The shoe department is on the second floor, three sections from the front, third aisle," said the soap lady, and then she added to her next neighbor, the patent-medirine lady: "What fools men are!"
 Mir. Hunt shot away in the direc- tion of the elevator, only to be con fronted with the sign: "This eleva- tor not running. Take the one at the rear of the stores'
 He rushed to the rear of the store, and was told by the foor-wallxer to |