The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-02-16
Fun oE The woKLp.

Ah- exclaimed the c3nnibl. smack
Ing his lips. what kind OF a minister was
that we had for dinner?
Your ENcellency.'' replied the cook. 7
should say II was a prime minister
Z < z
A Yorkshire vicar was teaching his
band OF hope 10 sing Little Drops OF
Water" The children. however. were
dun and stoIid. and at last the despair
nE vicar exclaimed.
Vow. children. Try again. Little drops
OF water. and pray 90 put little spirit
in IT"
ggg
: tender hearted youth was once pres
ent IT an oxford supper where the fatA-
ers OF these assembled were being round
" abused for tneir p2rSimony IN supply
ing the demands Of their sons. II list.
after having I0nE kept silence, he lifted
up his voice in mid protest After all.
eertcmen." ne ssld. let Is remember
that they are our fellow creatures
< K
Some years ago at Nardi Gras hsll
1T the Hopkins Institute OF Ar. nan.
masked. approached woman. masked,
and asked her for 4 dance. as Is con-
sidered right and proper at Nsrdi Gras-
But 1 don't know vol sir. said the lady
in ner most icy tone.
"Weu. I'm taxing as big risk as you
are r5torted the man.
x z <
Senator Culiorn of Illinois vas asked
by "a correspondent why the committee
on foreign affairs had en5oined secrecy
OF the text OF the new treaty with Great
britain, when the text OF the treaty was
printed IN the morning papers. Just SO.
Just So" said the senator. that's the
hi Hf. ~s.ra.
ed upon the treaty. We knew that II we
made 1t public CT once not paper in the
country would print its full text.
Colonel sam Reed was 5reakfasting ar
Delmonico's After looking over the
French mena. he said % the waiter.
You may bring me some eggs biushfng
like aurora, and some breeches in the
royal fashion. with velvet sauce. ard
for dessert oe sure you bring a stew OK
good Christians. ard a mouthfU OF the
ladies"
The astonished waiter said;
Sir. We don't serve such Dishes"
Yes YOU DO saiG the guest. point
ing to the bin Of fare-"Ceufs a In Aurore
-c1iottes a Ia royale sacque vei5ute-
com porte De bon cretians-bouchce de
DANES
An right" said the waiter-''ready
in Two minutes. sir
x x *
There is a curious little restaurant In
Ann street. New York. where clerks and
flee boys. and pcddlsrs discuss business
and politics over frugal luncheon a few
layS ago the collisions Of the New York
Central tunnel was under discussion auc
a voung Irish pe5dler was educating
public ownership of railways. while q
law clerk was defending private ewncr-
ship.
Finally. at loss for an answer TO
statement made by the Irishman the
clerk retOrted:
''Oh. you are n Socialist"
sure an I'm not" replied the Irishman
Indignantly; I'm a workingman."
x
IN give that waiter" said Rivers. IAN
order that VIII paralyze him
what viii you have. sir?" presently I
Bring me" replied Rivers. some Yer
liam and 0va."
Eyes sir
The waiter. a seedy-looleins man IN .
ipectacles. went a way with a broad .
gleam in his eve, and returned ia about /
.fteen minutes later with a large platter .
contain. = :eIaChhg lot
Here YOU are. sir he said Bacon
md eggs In ordinary English Il would
,e a shilling. In classic form Il VIII be
lalf a crown. Culpam poena premit
ONES as we used to say at coIega. any
hing else, sir
gzg
on one occasion a great Quh'ic dinner
vas given 20 lsac Hail by the town %
Boston. and he was asked TO sit for his
'icture by Gilbert Stuart. the celebrated +
rtist who was a great braggart. When
Iuu visited the studio. Stuart took great
elight in entertaining him with anecdotes
# his English successes. stories OF THE
Iarquis OF This and the Baroness Of
hat, which showed how elegantly WIS
he society which ne was accustomed.
Unfortunately. in the midst Of This gran
eur, Mrs Stuart. who did not know
hat there was sitting. came tn with
er apron on and her head tied I'D with
ONE handkerchief. from the kitchen. and
ried out. Did you mean - have the
e of mutton boiled or roasted - To
-hlch Stuart replied with great presence
Z mind: Ask your Mistress
x ERz
Three Birmingham card sharpers enter
q a train ga that CITY and succeeded IN
etfirr beside q rreen-foQking Scotsman.
Tho. they knew. had big wallet They
-ere very polite. ne was genial. He cS-
laineu that he was going % Manchester
hey were too. so lucky. etc. 4 little
anne was proposed and started. The
ouutry-mau PLAYED awllwartiig. but was
vidently enjoying the fun. High stakes
high. They Jet the couu-
rvuan win. OF course. Suddenly. ne
tarted I'D. Il must get or here. ns said.
/ am on the wrong train
"Eh2 WHAT they calculated You
aid you were going 20 Manchester"
Did r. he replied "Oh. ! meant 70
liverpool Good day"
The green Scot was not - veriant a. n
,oked.
The following account n newly mar
ed society Young woman placing her
rst order with s. grocer has been sent
, the Oregonian. The Incl tent 81 saic
, have happened in Portland. However.
re- story VIII interest many young VIC
.en. wherever lt happened.
The Young wife was greeted bv The
lze0uious grocer with request %
now v-itb what be- could have the pleas
~ ~ ecrvlslg her with. su1 che pro- ?
.edei % place her FIRST oFder as fol- S
..pleass send me M I've pounds q para :
.zed srgsr for frosting
-.Tesn Anything elseT
'.yce. aerf me three cans = colcrr1net :
'.Tesm- what slse7"
~ want Some ealt. = you have Any fhaf 8
fresh You uus- - s1re taat lt 81 Dlre B
id fresh
..Yeam. have ro7re that is perfectly
came On % rorrinT - Yoi q
1nt anything s.sr ugm7 ( hare some :
.-r Emo norseralh =
$50 i ti.auk yos. 1e uot care for any j.
p ~ -rt Eaaa = HORSE