West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-11-13


and thousands OF others" he protested.
Then we'll have il again. and you may
eat with Il. Benjamin get that hump out
of your neck and either talk sense or don't
talk at all. When IL is shown that my
daughter Is not capable OF taking care of
your teaspoons. I'll see about the divorce
myself"
Mr.. Bowser was grouty all the evening.
but that made no difference to me. BY
bedtime he seemed to bayc resolved to
make the best OF things. and he went to
bed without slamming doors or kicking
over chairs.
Tuesday-Beiorc leaving for the Office in
the morning Mr.. Bowser talked about buy.
Ing hog. but sat down on him al once
He came home to dinner without finding
any spoons, but he was just In time to meet
the iceman who had bill OF a dollar OF
so to collect
by the great horn spoon" yelled Mr.
Bowser, but what does this mcan7 Must
submit to these bold faced robberies
every day In the Year, Is my own wife In
cahoots with every swIndler Ia town.
benjamin. said as laid my hand on
his arm II don't know anything about the
great horn spoon. but | do know what a
lump OF ice Is. You've had lump OF ice a
day for the last month. aud there's the
bill for IL. The Ice hasn't been burned in
the range nor given away to tramps. II
has been used to preserve your meats and
vegetables and furnish ice water, and
you'll pay for IL and hang on 10 your
breath. AS to any cahoois business. you'd
better look out for the fool killer"
He looked around for crowbar with
which to strike me dead. but not finding
| any he paid the bill and sat down with
| sigh. Later In the evening he observed
that II ever he were left widower. he
wouldn't marry the best woman on earth.
and replied;
Benjamin. don't fret your glzzard.
Amanda will outlive you by 10 years. and
| your mother-in-law will probably be hold.
ing your hand when you pass away"
Wednesday--At o'clock in the morning
thought heard somebody sneak down.
stairs A little later ! looked out of a back
window and saw Mr.. Bowser making for
the alley When | had dressed and got
down. man who had a horse to sell was
showing the animal off and Boosting that
he belonged to the Seek No Further
breed. Mr.. Bowser was hesltating about
closing sale for sIso when / opened the
alley gate and said:
Benjamin amt you a little afraid that
effect on your asthmaS"
IL was looking at a horse he STAN
mered in reply.
so observe. can see from here that
lie has two spavins and a ringbone. and
II he isn't blind he ought ut least to wear
| spectacles. heard him spoken OF as a
| Seek No Further. That's correct, Benja-
min. He won't have TO seek no further
for woman who knows horse from
giraffe. don't think this is your horsy day.
think you'd better take my arm and come
in and look at the sunfowers.'
He looked at me a minute as IL he meant
10 have my life. and the man with the horse
said he killed his mother-in-law ~ years
ago. but It ended in Benjamin going down
into his boots. It's wise man who knows
his moiher-in-law.
Thursday-When Mr.. Bowser came home
this evening he was 10 good nature, and
alter dinner he suggested trolley ride by
moonlight. Amanda was ready to put on
her hat at once, but | took him out into
the back yard and said:
benjamin. you took a moonlight ride
no, long ago. You first got mad because
Amanda complained Of headache. Then
you roared at passenger who happened
TO step on your toes. Then you yelled at
| the conductor because the current hap
pened to be shut of for minute. and be.
fore you had got a mile you called a fat
man hog and got into a fight
Il don't allow anybody to walk on me- -
says Mr.. Bowser in reply.
But are you going out with chip on
your shoulder II you are. you can go
alone Neither myself nor Amanda wants
TO carry club or get into q row. II you
can sit still and look at the moon and
be civil TO the other passengers we will
/ go. but otherwise not
We went. II was very hard for him to
behave but by pointing my finger at him
now and then kept him IN subsection. and
no one was murdered
Ffiday-sMr. Bowscr sat down to break.
fast and looked al around TO sec what he
could iind fault with tie finally growled
oui that the chop wasn't II for dog to
ct and was going TO say that Mrs. Bowser
/ probably ordered the cook TO drive tacks
into IL TO spite him. when / remarked.
That will DO for this time. Benjamin
knew when you we're glae enough to get
Goldfish for breakfast and don't want to
hear word sgainst mutton chops II you
we're my husband Id keep sou on salt pork
and corned beef Az summer"
Are you never going homer" he roarcd
at me
- am. Benjamin going home 20 morrow
night but meanwhile don't you get too
colty % you do 10 change my mind and
stay a month longer.
He reached home at 8 O'Clock . m. with.
out having anything TO kick about. bot after
dinner be told Mrs BowseT that he had
been advised b. the doctor to drink three
quarts Of goats milk day 10 get the acid
out Of his blood and that hc should proba.
bly, buy four goats during the evening
She. poor soul hadn't ans objection 70
make but : turned 10 him with
benjamin. whats particular acid is in
your bood2"
LIS what causes rheumatism" ho
answered
when have sou bad rheumatism
I've got ID now"
Where's bouts,
IN my legs
~ beg 20 differ with you. Benjamin. a
man who can slip over back fences the way
yoa do can't have rheumatism in bis legs.
You may have buzzinz In your cars and
wheels 10 your head but your legs are aB
right Goats milk may be good Tor you. as
you are good deal Of kid. but there will
be no goats around here
DO { ran this house or do your be