Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-05-29
BILL NYE ON THE NEWSPAPER.
Famous Address Of the Late Famou 6
Humorist to an Association of Wis
COnsin Editors,

Famous Address of the Late Famous
Humorist to an Association Of Wis
consin Editors.
1t Is difficult to map out proper course
for the student in u school of journalism,
there are so many things connected with |
the profession which the editor and his
staff should know and know hard. The |
ne wspaper of to-day Is a library. 1t is AN
encyclopedia, poem, a biography, ms |
tory, a prophecy, directory, tlfne-tablc,
romance, a cook book, a guide a horo-
scope an art critic a political resume, a
multum In parvo. 1t Is sermon, song,
q circus, an obituary, picnic, snip |
wreck. symphony in solid BREWER. mel
ley Of life and death, q grand aggresatioA
OF ndl, SiUry ana iils shame. IL -, III !
short, a bird s-eye-view of all the magiia-
nimity and meanness, the joys and gritfs, |
the births and deaths, the pride and pov- |
crty of the world, and all tor two cents
sometimes.
If were to suggest curriculum for the
young man who wished to take a regular
course in u school of journalism, prefer |
ring that to the actual experience, l would
say to him, devote the first two years TO
| mediation and prayer.
The ensuing five years should be devoted
to the peculiar photography of the English
language.
Then put in three years with the dumb
| hawk. In my own journalistic experience
| ! have found more cause for regret over
| my neglect of this branch than anything
else. usually keep on my desk dur
! ing heated campaign, large paper
weight. weighing three or four pounds, ana
| in several instances | have found that
| could feed that to a constant reader OF
my valuable paper instead of a retraction.
Fewer people lick the editor though, now,
than did so In years gone by. Many peo-
ple-in the last two years-have gone
| across the street to lick the editor and
never returned They intended to come
right back in few moments, but they
| are now in land where Il change of heart
and palm leaf fan is all they need.
Fewer people are robbing the editor nova
days. too, | notice with much pleasure.
Only a short time ago l noticed that a
burglar succeeded in breaking into the resi-
dence of a Dakota journalist and after a
| long, hard struggle the editor succeeded In
robbing him.
i With the course of study that 1 have
I mapped out, the young student would
emerge from the college of journalism at
the age of 95 or &c. ready to take off his
coat and write an article on almost any
| subject. He would be a little giddy at
first and the office boy would have to see
that he went to bed at the proper time
each night, but aside from that he would
be a good man to feed waste paper bas-
: ket.
My own experience was a little peculiar
1t was my intention at first to practice
law when l went to the Rocky mountains
although had been warned by the author
tiles not to do so. Still, did practice in a
surreptitious kind of a way, and might
have been practicing yet if my client
, hadn't died. When you have become at
tached to a client and respect and like him.
and then when, without warning, like a
bolt of electricity from a clear sky, he sud
denly dies and takes the bread right out
of your mouth, it Is rough
Then tried the practice of criminal law,
but my client got into the penitentiary.
where he was no use to me financially or
politically. Finally, when the judge was
= in a hurry, he would appoint me to defend
the pauper criminals. They all went to
the penitentiary, until people got to critci-
sing the judge, and finally they told him
that it was a shame to appoint me to de-
fcni an innocent man.
My first experience in journalism was in
western town, in which l was a total
! stranger. | went there with thirtyiive
! cents, but | had 1t concealed in the lining
of my clothes. so that no one would have
o suspected it if they had met me. had no
= friends, and l noticed that when l got off
. the train the band was not there to meet
8 me. | entered the town just any other
l American citizen would. l had not fully
!. decided whether to become a stage robDer
q or lecturer on phrenology. At that time
, J got a chance to work on a morning paper.
0 1t used to go to press before dark, so al
e ways had my evenings to myself, and
: liked that part of 1t tirst-rate. l worked
k on that paper a year, and might have con
tinued If the proprietors had not changed
1t to an evening paper.
Then company incorporated itself and
: started a paper of which | took charge
d The paper was published in the loft of a
: livery stable That is the reason they al
j. led it a stock company. You could come
:. up the stairs into the office or you coulC
d twist the tail of the iron-grey mule anC
= take tho elevator
= 1t wasn't much of a paper, but it cos
q SIC. 900 a year to run 1t, and 1t came ou
# six days in the week no matter what thu
y weather was. We took the Associated
II Press news by telegraph part of the time
Il and part of the time we relied on the Chcy
ii enne morning papers, which we got of tn
n conductor on the early morning freight. W,
o got great many special kilograms from
l. Washington in that way. and when thu
n freight train got in late had to guess a
Is what congress was doing and fix up
d column of telegraph the best 1 could Their
lie was a rival evening paper there. and some
n times 1t would send smart boy dowl
n to the train and get hold of our specia
& kilograms. and sometimes the conducto
l. would go away on picnic and take on
'e Cheyenne paper with him.
'e All these things are annoying to mai
| VINO Is Trying 10 supply IOHs-lcl WALL
| There was one conductor, In particular
who used to go away in the foot hills shoot
Ia ing sage hens and take our cablegrams will
m him. This threw too much strain on me
lie could guess at what congress was doing
$ and make up pretty readable report, blu
,el foreign powers and reichstags and crown
is ed heads and dynasties always mixed III
lie up You can look over what congress d
t last year and give a pretty good guess "A
j. what 1t will do this year, but you can't rel
lc on a dynasty or an effete monarchy In
l. bad state OF preservation. 1t may go int
e executive session or it may go into bank
ii ruptcy.
" Still, at one time We used to have consid
ne cradle local news to All up with. Tn
Id north and middle parks for n while used t
~ help us out when the mining camps wer
oil new. Those were the days when II wa
considered perfectly proper to kill of tn
, board of supervisors II their action wa
distastcful. At that time a new camp gen
orally located a cemetery and wrote a
IN obituary; then the boys would start ou
he to find man whose name would rhym
IT with the rest of the verse. Those wer
of the days when the cemeteries of Colorad
IN We're still In their infancy and the song G
Is the six shooter was heard In the land.
rs Sometimes the Indians would send us a
re item. 1t was generally In the obituary linz
ne With the Sioux on the north and the peace
III full Utes on the south. we We're pretty sur
r. OF some kind OF news during the summer
rI>l.~ 10 I'D l.,Kv III