The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-08-05
HERE n THERE.

The Observer OF Charlotte and
w J. 3.
VIII both be hai monized. yes Stree.
A Slight Drlwback-Blinks-"The
world has a place for everybody
there's generally somebody else in it"
Town and Country.
First Mosquito. What's wrong
Spiker: You looA blue" Second Mos
quito-Yes: / sampled one OF those
blue-blooded S~mIth-Joneses las; night
by mistake."-ChICsgo Daily News.
Whoop'em up Grover, Eaten W
Hill is the MAJ &C all can rely on
Dry up Watterson with your Courier
Journal
You'll land the party in the place in
fernal.
Hickity Swicki,y Fickity Kernummuck
Hit Mark Hanna in h pit OF the
Stars and Stripa5 Forever. The Grand
Old Flag,
Turn out the Iascals. Give US the
swag.
The Onlooker: No doubt, But it's
equally wonderful what it won't let him
see that he'll sac l2ter.-Town and
Country.
Expert Schwab furnishes the latest
illustration Of the face that however
much nerve a man may have he must
presently learn the unwelcome fact that
he has nerves and that nerves play
strictly with a nmit--Rfcnmond News.
Times Have Changed.-The Prodigal
The father Al the Bible story, dad.
killed the fatted calf for his SON" The
Old Man-'Yep; but he wasn't up
against no becf trust. 1 reckon
Judge.
Mr.. Dooley in the course OF a run
ming comment on the news Of the
week for the benefit of Mr.. Hennessey,
observes: Cholera is ragin' in tn
Philippians vice Ginral Jake Smith,
raymoved." Which Is neat, or perhaps
we should say. "nate."-Charlotte OBJ
server.
1T is stated hat during the offer
tory in a New York church recently the
congregation was entertained by a
young woman who whistled Schu-
mann's ,TraumCi.' and on being en-
cored after the benediction she wis
tied The MockIAs Bird What is the
difference between that and a vaude-
vile stunt?' Whatever it may be, it
ppear to be immateriaI.-News and
Courier.
THE mistake Of my life" said the re-
miniscent man, was when / was sell
ing patent medicines in Russia. One
day l attended a review of a crack
regiment. and Suddenly every man in
the ranks began sneeZing for all he
was worth. In & trice / had my sam
pie case open and was trying to sell
the commissary d carload of my anti
grin nallptS Wh1n ha rIlHalu informed
me that the troops were only hailing
with delight the arrival of General
Observation-Disclosures.
A small church was sadly in need of
general repairs, and a meeting was
held in it with a view of raising
funds for hat purpose. The minister
having said $500 would be required. a
very wealthy land equally stipgy)
member of the church rose and aid
he would give oLe dollar. Just as he
sat down, however. a lump of plaster
fell from the ceiling and hit him on the
head. w~hereupon he rose up hastily
and called out that he had made a mis-
take-he would give $50. This was too
much for an enthusiastic member
present, who, foI getfuI of everything,
called out fervently: 'Oh, Lord, hit
him again!"-BaDtist Union.
INeCSLI CclSuS ISuTleS, according 10
an article in the Philadelphia Medical
Journal, seem to establish beyond a
question or a duubt the fact that the
birth-rate in this country Is lower tina
that or n European n except
ing France; that the birth-rate of the
American-born population is much be.
low that of Trance; and that the
fecundity of the American woman is
lower tina that of the woman of any
nfhnr~ nrIr -
her condition.: we are Indifferent, FOL
We are constantly recruiting our popu
lation from Russia, from Sweden, from
German, from Ireland, or from Canada
Congressman Bingham is telling
about the very handsome and popular
wife of a senator who has been well
to the fore in Washington affairs since
last December. says the P~hiladelphia
Times. Mrs. Senator was recently ac-
costed at a very fashionable reception
by an over-dressed, affected woman
the wife Of a western lobbyist, and
asked: Have we met before? You,
face seems very, very familiar to me-
Il do not hin we've met" replied
Mrs. Senator, s~raciously. Perhaps
you've seen my pictures. There have
been many of them in the magazines
recently" That's it," exclaimed the
stranger. I've seer you in the maya
Zines. And 1 want you to tell me. ID
you will, is that soap you indorse really
as good as you say it is2"
The Mont Pelee disaster was taker
as a text by n Of the speakers at
recent nearby camp-meeting of negro
Zionists. say the Philadelphia Times
He explained that the eruption was {
rebuke to the greed CT mankind alonf
the following lines: DE earf, m
fr'en's, resolves on axels, as we al
know. Som fin suah am needed u
keep EN- axels creased, so de goot
Lawd, in His wisdom ar fo'sight, put.
lots of PETROLEUM in de bowels ub d.
earf for dat purpose. De Stan'ard OF
Company m along an 'strax da'
petroylum by borin' holes in de earf
De earf sticks on its axels an won e
round no more. Dere is a hot box, jus
as tho de earf wuZ a rig railroad trair
an then. my fren'3 dere am trubble.
The thumb ia tha ncst felI-fale mon.