Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-10-11
STAGE FORT IN ES

zone of several other things in connec-
ton with the stage that'ye got me twisted
remarked the man with the fnterrogatory
expression, "is this: How do these Nigh
falutin' young heroes of the stage manage
to get hold of the big fortunes with Which
they return to the old home only year or
SO after breaking away from the same anu
use their quick wealth for the purpose OF
getting hunk with all the folks in the show
that've hurt their feelings In previous
years?
Like this, for instance: The handsome
young piece o. work has a scrap with his
dad over the girl. milkmaid or somebody or
other of that sort that he, the nero mas
picked out as the eligible party to wear
the family heirlooms. Quite properly as
it appears to everybody sitting In front
that's got a grain of sense, the old man
calls the handsome young piece WIN ~
son, a pinhead and a scatterprani any IN,
mutt and few other deserved tniuss -
that, and then the youngSter gets nun! en-
chesty toward his dad and announces Ina.
he is going uh-wy.' He doesn't say WheIe
he is going but merely tries 10 AhocA .ne
old gentleman off his footing Dy anro.ne
ing that he's going uh-wy. Inc olo gen
tleman hangs right onto his footing, no"
ever, not looking in the least scared anu
then, while the orchestra folks pay wnoie
lot O. Woody stuff on the muted strings tne
lovely youth does his little up-stage sneah'
turning about, Of course, to take his last,
last look at the old place, and SEEING the
occasion to tell all hands that when ne gets
back from that 'uh-wy place that ne go
ing to, there'll be a different story TO tell
This, we all know, means that he's going
to cop out the dough during his absence.
And burned if he doesn't always do 1t at
thati I've been watching him for nign
onto thirty years now, and he never fails to
come home with money to Shy at the Cnlppy
birds. There notice on the program that
Tells you year and a half Is supposed TO
elapse before the curtain slides up on the
next act. When the curtain does go up the
very first hot air you hear is the talk be-
tween the head gardener and the second
gardener Of the old homestead. They re
telling each other about the expected re-
turn home Of the youngster, and the first
thing you know he sails in and begins to
stun everybody that shows up on the lawn
by telling EN- of the tremendous amount
of the gilt that he's corralled as sheep
farmer in New Zealand or working In the
Australia diggings, and, somehow or an
other. 1t all seems as natural and straight
as 10 o'clock. You don't wonder at all how
such sappy kid managed to rope together
the ten or twenty millions, pounds sterling,
that the young fellow is known by every
body on the stage to've grabbed off during
his little year and half absence. AS
business man you feel perfectly confident
that you wouldn't, yourself give him
for construction gang-but there he is
with the wad, and that's all there is about
it.
''Or. take it another way: The perky
boy OF the show is dead mashed on the
HlrtatiouS sort Of a heroine of the Sh W.
but he doesn't seem to stand a one-two-
three show with her on account of the
bunch of jocks and markeezes and people
IKE that. all of EN- pretty well heelcd with
the MACON. who hover around her. How
ever, she likes the perky boy, but she Is
square enough to tell him that he won't
DO because he is so dismally shy of the ker-
t1sh. He looks at her like a wounded fawn
when she springs that reasonable one on
him, and then he, too. lets out that one
about going uh-wy.' Where, dear old
Jock?' she asks him. oh to the Sites
anywhere to make fortune says he and
when l come back" &c. You have 1t
doped out for a cinch, then. that when he
comes back he's going to be wearing the
bells all right, and you're never wrong
After the absence of two years and four
months back he pops in the London draw
Ing room. and you can see that be really
must We done little work to get hold Of
the dust. for isn't his hair at the sides all
sllVered over, which makes the girls n
front gurgle All. amt he the cutestr ard
hasn he got sort of a solemnity about him
bentt1ng a man that's picked ND several
million 'qu1d' within the space of twenty
eight months? Stories Of his steam yachts
and his gfg-lamps and his Mercedes ma
chlnes and his polo ponies have, of course
long preceded him home, so that when the
girl shows up she makes it clear that she
knows all about the big bundle tina. he has
aggregated since going uh-wy.' and it's all
right She hfs'n. and he's her'n, and they
ouy TOUR or five castles older'n he battle
OF Hastings. and it's all right. Eut how
the dickens has he got it?-that's what I'd
like to know, He just climbs aboard a
cattle boat over there on the other side
and lands in New York without 40 cents
this pampered young pretty thing. AMI
b Jee, a couple o years later he's sailing
back there to the green little coast If
britain on his own 32o-feet-over-aIl steam
yacht, with money scattered around in all
OF the coal bunkers. 1t gets me- that's all.
wish knew how they did it, If could
lind out it wouldn't take me twerty min
u'es TO frame up a little going uh-wv'
stunt or my own and l wouldn't wait To he
ushered to the place of the big dough with
slow Wooze-chords on the E am A strings
eitheri'' - ms"