Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1902-05-22
WANTS THE NEWS ITEM
TO ISSUE A MILLION COPIES
The Herald Representative is Wanted
10 Appear in Eagles Mere Where
Punishment Awaits Him.
Special to the News Item.

tSltclhl To Inc News Item.
What blessed thing it is that we are
incorporated as a Borough. just to think
that if we were not thus protected we
would be living in Shrewsbury Township
which the Herald reporter says is inhab-
tied in its primeval forests with deer,
black bears, catamounts, foxes and all
sorts OF game. We have been hearing
strange noises OF nights lately, and won.
dered what could be the cause. Now
we know that it is the growing OF the
bears. the bowling OF the catamounts and
all the rest Of them when they get to the
Borough line and dare not come any far
ther. All the citizens are grattul for the
warning, and Mr. Kehrer will order a
car load of Winchesters, Krag-. Iornsens,
Maxlms and other fire arms, aud another
car load OF ammunition and fixins gen
orally, more particularly the fixen's.
4 special meeting OF the Borough
Council will be held and an ordinance
passed to have the Light Company ex
tend its wires all around on the Borough
line and lamp will be fixed on each pole
as these wild creatures are afraid OF light
aud will retreat from it at once. Your
correspondent will not 90 out after dark
without young man and gun especial.
ly the gun, although it is great salts
faction to have Young man always,
The Herald man says the water from
Hunters Lake is carried down pipe tour
miles to the electric plant with fall OF
$40 eet to the mile: we submitted this
problem to the professor OF Mathematics
at our University, and he says there must
be something wrong somewhere as that
would make Hunters Lake about 5000
feet above tide and he has not heard tha
the tide has got into hole or anything
ofthat sort. He wonders if the trouble
in Martinique can have had anything to
do with disturbing the bottom OF the
ocean.
After we LETT the Professor we learned
where the trouble is. 1t seems that the
got the figures misplaced
and intended to say that 'fhe aged and
Treasurer OF the Light Co.,
Mr.. Benjamin q. Welch is $40 wears
old, and in this the reporter is probably
as he has been old ever since we
knew him. So it is all right now
We have heard that one OF the cata.
mounts over In Shrewsbury has started
Tor the Herald Office TO find that CORES.
pondent for giving them away and start
ing out the hunters after them. We are
IN sad distress as TO what may happen as
We think the writer Is probably young
nice young man. with his hair
parted in the middle and such a bewteh
M mustache. and we are so very short
)f such comforts in our village. Won't |
,he office please send him to onr place
where he can be cared for
The Item OH ght to issue about mill. |
on copies of this communication so that |
al the intending summer visitors may |
get one and feel assured that they will be |
entirely safe here il they do not go out.
'ide the Borough after dark without the
Herald young man or some other one
,1ually desirable.
II a million copies is to much for the
TEN, then at least three or tour should |
,e sent to each hotel that they may have
hem distributed with their booklets.
1t is really surprising how unreason-
lble some people are 1.-The railroad com
,any is runnnga passenger train every
lay with real passenger car. Some one
vas mean enough TO say that it is disre-
,utable looking both inside and out, and
hat the company uses it for passengers,
baggage, express and everything else in
lnding emigrants. somewhat odoriterous,
md all such things as that, but it is to lie
loped that the company will not mind
uch an unreasonable set OF people.
Nhy apart OF early visitors the other
ay actually hired George Montgomery to
AXE them down the mountain in his stage
ather than ride in real passcng car,
he idea
Now we will get the waterwork for sure