The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-01-24
advent of the first automobile, which

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advent Of the first automobile, which
climbed III Of the steep slopes, near
Wonalancet with disastrous results toEthct
running gear. The accident happened.
neal a bayfield,, whereaa farmer was en-
deavoring to repair a broken moving ma
chine. Attracted by the appearance Of
the strange looking horseless vehicle, the
farmer left his occupation and came out
to inspect the remarkable object with .op-
~cn-mourhed astonishment. After a few
moments of silent scrutiny he said to the
chauffeur, who was repairing the break
AZ; we'll as he could, 'Wha' d. ye call that
ere machine?' That is an automobile"
was the reply; what do you call yours?'
ratu: in the field. Wall was the dry re-
spouse, with a rause for a shift of the
'chaw,' it auto-mo'-hay, but it don't!'"
This is 4 Boston joke: Two men werc
feeding at 4 popular quick lunch coun-
ter the other day, and a catsup bottle
vas passed to a bean-eater. The first
man said to his companions:
Say, John. dye know that they are
putting tomatoes III the railroad tracks.
now?'
flows that. old man?'
oh 50 that the trains will catch ~.
Haw! Haw."
The democrat wagon is Il New Eng
land product. and is little known outside
OF THAT section. \ Philalelphia who
was making his quarters at Mystic park
last summer was driven over to Cam
bridge. and as the native got out OF the
wagon he remarked: You will find the
store you are looking for right Opposite
that democrat down The street down
therc,' and Went on his way to another
store. The PhiladelphiaE drove back
and forth several times, ana carefully
looked over several gronps Of men along
the street. When his friend cann hacL
publican state. but l have not been her"
long enough to distinguish a Democrat
from a Republican," He acknowledged
that it was ION him. after the democrat
Wagon was pointed out to him.
\ Terrible Threat.-Hired Girl-"Now.
YOU 90 away right this minute" Tramp
way. 1 ten you. Clear out, now. or III
I'M give you a piece of mince pie that
the young missus made herself."-New
York Weekly.
"A story is told in a ne%ighboring town."
says the Troy Press, of the well-meant
efforts to DO his duty of a hostler en-
ployed by a local doctor. 1t so happened
that the doctor was attending two cases
Just been blessed by an heir, and in the
other existed a slight case Of scarlet fe-
yer. The doctor instructed his man to
take a contagious disease card and tack
1t up on the hous where lived the fever
patient. Unfortunately, the messenger
house, and what was the astonishment Of
passersby to read on the house where
cooed q lusty newborn infant: 'Conta-
gious Disease. Keep Out"
--:O:--
The End Of the Honeymoon.-Mrs.
:Newlywed ~(weeping)-"A villainous-look-
Ing tr mp tried d. tS kiSs me this after,
Those wretches t viii les CO. anything Sm u:e to get
into Jail for the winter. won't they ?'-
Judge.
The Axtell (Kan.) Anchor recently
printed the following unique notice: 1--WE
wish to bring to the notice Of the. friends
of \. L.: Gilland that his physician has
cautioned him against any sudden starts
or jerks. 1t has been the custom many
times when greeting the old gentleman to
take advantage Of his extreme ticklish-
ness. The surgeons say. that a man Of
his nature after undergoing such a criti-
cal surgical operation would be liable to
DC badly injured by a sudden start.
Therefore. his friends should not greet
him in the old way by poking their finger
in his ribs"
4 Juvenile Im~pression.-'1l be glad
when I'm Il grown-up man. said the
thoughtful youngster. "Why?' BE
cause then l can get my Christmas pres
ents without having to be good before
Observation-Disclosures Star.
\ visitor to a farm was especially
struck by the great ruggedness and
hands. and said to the farmer:
THAT fellow ought to be chuck-full Of
| work.
He is" replied the farmer. ''or he
ought to be, because I hain't never bee: