Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1902-06-17
YOU'RE the most extrorny fit
4 ture of the campaign" the
old corporal said, with placid
Copyright, 1900, by P. Y. Black.

admiration. 81 loves daisies,
an you're one Of the prettiest spesh-
mems know, so you are. You ought
to be dead. by all rights-both legs
gone. Man, you're in great luck. You're
worth So month forevermore. But
what tickles me is you didn't die, an l
bet on your dyin'. You're tough. my
joker You ought to have died. You're
the most extrorny future Of the cam
paign."
The corporal and the recruit were
sitting by the bedside Of wounded
soldier in camp near Santiago. The
man on the cot was deathly pale from
loss Of blood. but the immense vitality
which had enabled him to survive the
loss by a shell Of both legs above the
knee now permitted him to be cheerful
and hopeful
"Seventy-two a month pension will
be a picnic" said he, with laugh.
"Wonder if they'll give me fake legs
like that one Amos Chapman rode
about with at Fort Supply in the Ma
ton. Gee. corp wait till hobble down
to the parade an see you fellers sweat
in at the double time, with old Daddy
Weiss hollerin' at you: Mind the dis
tance. you. there! Sergeant, see that
that man has an hours extra drill!
Keep your hands up. You're like lot
of sailormenr An I'll sit by an laugh
/ 7 Io,
The corporal grinned, but the recruit
looked piteous and sorrowful.
"Would-wouldn't you rather have
your legs?" he asked wonderingly.
"Oh, | dunno" the crippled soldier re-
piled. 81 never had no trade nor eddi
cation. S'posin' I'd kept my legs. I'd
never have been nothin but big buck
private anyway an died or been shot
in line of duty. Now I'm fixed for life
an I'll get around, never fret"
"Its so," said the corporal reflective
ly, IAN, not bein' responsible char
akter, you might have been bobtailed
an gone on the bum, havin', as you
say, no trade an too old to Farm.
You're in luck But | bet you'd die.
By rights. because the doctor said it.
you ought to have died"
"The worst Of it," said the GONZALES
cent. "is the pain in my toes"
"Your toes?" cried the recruit.
"They always feels it." said the cor
poral. more or less. 1t depends on
how they buried your legs. I'll look
you up an have them buried right.
There was old Mahoney, who went rail
roadin' an got smashed up by an en-
CINE, with his leS cut off. He suffered
terrible from his toes an his son had
the buryin' of the leg. It's buried
proper, dad, says he, but the old man
doubted it ar got friend to look 1t up.
Sure enough. the boy had just put it in
the ground, an the earth was pressin'
hard an heavy down on it Mahoney's
friend put it in a box where it had
room, an the pain left Mahoney. i
knew says he, the boy hadn't buried
1t proper; it hurt so.'"
Tie recruit laughed. but the cripple
said anxiously:
Look mine up, corp, will you? I'm
thinkln' mine amt put away right"
You're tOugh," said the corporal.
harping on the subject of the soldiers
vitality. Most fellers would have died.
Some fellers is mighty hard to kill.
There is Buck Bill. He's with the
Twenty-secOnd now. mind when we
blowed taps over his grave down on the
| Washita."
"How?" said the recruit. II thought
you said he is with the Twenty-second
doughboysr
AN so he is. III tell you how It
was. See. in them days the boys was
havin' hot times with the Comanches
an the Kiowas down in the old south
western frontier 1t was in them times
when ! was enjoyin' myself like
rookie for fair, an all things was new
to me. an | never thought but what
Id wind up as major anyhow like
him there You amt so old as me, but
you know how it Is"
The convalescent nodded grimly. He
wore two service stripes on his sleeve.
The recruit looked dreamily out Of the
farther door Of the hospital tent. He
was very young, and-some day there
might be war worth calling war,
not campaign. He bad hopes.
1--WE was all bucks, Of course" th'
corporal went on, but this feller Bill
was called Buck Bill poor-pur-there's
foreign word. rookie?'
"Par example?" the recruit suggest
ed timidly.
Fright, I guess In matters Of the
United States language don't take no
corrections from no one. but In foreign
talk, my rookie, you may know moren
me. He was Buck Bill always. He
had the most extrorny bumps behind
his ears. A frennigist."
"a phrenologist?" the rookie meekly
inquired.
THAT amt foreign word" said the
old corporal angrily. "It's good United
States. an it goes. see? said fren
nigist. Amt that right?'
The copvalescent nodded, and the re-
cruit was humbled.
"This here frennigist felt onct of
Bills head an drawed paper OF 1t.
SAYS he to Bill, he says. You've the
most amazln' bump Of vitality ! ever
seed,' he says. Them was the bumps
behind Buck Bits ears he meant, see!
Mine amt remarkable, but guess
yourr are"
The patient felt behind his ears and
opened his eyes wide.
"By geer' he said. You're right,
corp. I've got 'em big"
Thought So" said the corporal. "or
you'd never have pulled through this
rastle. Guess you'd give the yeller
fever itself hot time to down you.'
The recruit felt at the back Of his
ears with alarm.
81 fancy" he said thoughtfully, "that
it wouldn't pay me to have both legs
cut Off"
"Well, sir" the corporal said, "Buck
Bill was thing it was the hardest OF
hard to kill. He got cut up by cow
boy in Cheyenne an lived. In the hos
pital he broke out on bitter cold
night, got drunk. caught cold, got eerie'
sipples (shut up. rookie; that's United
States, tool, an the doctors give him
up, but he lived through. He was