The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1902-02-14
NNELINDA'S
1'A WEDDING.


When Melindy Virgins got engaged
to Pelig jerks, her ma wus just tickled
to death. Beaus was scase down to
Punkinville, fur none of the young men
would stay arter they wus growed up.
Besides, Pelig is real forehanded and
quite catch.
His ma was sot ag'in his marryin at
all, and Melindy she wouldn't never
hev caught him ef she hadn't took airly
mornin walks bout the time he went
over to his place Of business and met
him as eff by accident.
am told that he proposed by Tag
CARTS barn and wus excepted in front
of the shoemaker's and gave Melindy
her engagement ring jest this side OF
the blacksmith's.
Well, Mrs. Virgins she wus real sot
up about 1t, and she said that Melindy
should be dressed up as much as any
bride there ever had been in Punkin-
Vile, eff not a leetle better. But Mr..
Virgins, Melindy's pa, he come Of a
close family, and he wus near himself
'twus his mater to be-and when Melin-
dy's ma asked him fur money 10 shop
fur the things be jest buttoned up his
pockets and said, Nav" He oilers
pronounced no that way when he wus
sot Nav" seq he, II amt toiled and
moiled forty odd year fur to let my
money be spent like water. You kin
make a list out of what Is wanted and
I'll get it,"
Well, when he spoke up like that Mrs.
Virgins she knew twusn't no good
talkin, so she said, "P'r'aps you air
right, pa" and she wrote down some
things and kinder winked acrost to Me-
Indy, who wus beginning to cry at the
idea Of her pa, that didn't know caliker
from blankets, a-choosin her weddin
clothes.
The help saw all that and heered
what wus said and naturally told folks.
Well, that AFTERNOON Mr.. Virgins
went to town to sell his potatoes and
got the money and come down on the
boat as usual.
The boat landin is in quite lonesome
place, and he went home by a sort OF
side path anyways, and just about dusk
the Browns heard a howlin in the pic
mic woods and, goin to see what it wus,
there wus old Virgins tied to tree.
He told 'em he'd been beset by rob.
bers and that they wus so fierce and
furious he'd been obliged to give 'em
every cent he had. He described 'em
as most outlandish critters. He said
their hair wus like cotton wool and
their faces black. Their hats wus tied
on with big handkerchiefs, and they
wus queer and SLOPPY in the small OF
their backs. Their hands and feet wus
sort of small and skinny lookin, and
they had blue overalls and linen busters
on. He said 'twusn't their strength that
overcome him, but their bein so spooky
and supernaturallike. And one of ZEN
said in holler voice, Little you know
who we be-" and the other: We're TAX
in your money because you don't per
vide as you should fur solemn occa
sions. Beware in future!"
When he got home, he cried and said
be wished he'd Civ Mrs. Virgins the
money for Melindy's things, but she
said 1t happened fortunate that her sis
ter, Melindy's aunt, had sent her q
present fur her weddin.
The help now, she don't think them
robbers wus supernatural, and she SEE
II ever Mr.. Virgins finds out the truth
she dunno what will happen to Mrs
Virgins. / kinder think myself that
the robbers wus Mrs. Virgins and
Melindy dressed up In some old clothes
with cotton batting wigs, and don't
blame 'em.
Well, Melindy had her clothes after
all, but before they wus finished Mr.
Virgins he'd got over his skeer and
got as mean as ever again, and he
wouldn't give his unfortunate wife moth
In extry for the supper. She borriet
The Tide Of Fashion from the Rabbits
and found out that she'd orter he,
chicken salad.
But Mr.. Virgins, he said he WI.
sellin his chickens, not devourin Of 'en
hum, and l suppose what she had don,
before kinder weakened poor Mrs. Wig
gins conscience, for, seein her owl
eoops wus locked up, the poor soul wen
around to the neighbors and stole on,
chicken apiece from each of us. 1t wul
kinder just to do 1t that way when sh,
might have took 'em all from one Of US
and those of us that caught her at 4
made up our minds not to say nuthin
but jest to pray fur her, and we'd sen
over word that ef there wus anythir
we could do to call on us. And per
haps she felt we'd be willin to spar,
the chickens, but wus proud about ask
ing fur 'em.
Well, she got the things togethe
somehow. and she cooked the chickens
and made the salad and borried chan!
Of most OF us and got up q real fus