Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-01-23
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Nhh ttll you MS uahle. uut Ne an
angel"
us she a polite grip "Not At all.
She finds it impossible TO break herself
of the habit Of telling the truth
He-Now, don't you bother TO help me
on with my coat She-It's no bother.
It's pleasure. Town Topics.
Heredity. "Wot you doin'. chlle?"
"Nothin, nanny. My, but you is
gittin' like yooh father Baltimore
/ World.
/ Blobhs-"Wigwag must be making an
awful lot Of money" Slobhs-"I should
say he is. actually believe he is max
Ing more than his wife can spend"
Il believe Mrs. Hemlock would rather
quarrel with her husband than with
anybody else" Decidedly! Force al
ways seeks the line of least resistance
Doctor-Did you take my prescrlp-
tion, ma'am? Paticnt-Yes: but say.
doctor, papers awful hard to get down.
an it didn't seem to do me no good
Chicago News.
Employer how long were you in
your last place, my good man? James
/ Gust out of Folsom penltentlaryl
years, sir. and | never had single
evening out.-EX.
"Why, gentlemcn!" cried the after
dinner speaker, tragically. what would
this nation be without the ladies'"
"Stag-naton, of course" murmured tho
Cheerful Idiot Judge.
Didn't you so away at ALL Mrs.
DashY" mo; Mr.. Dash said he was so
we'll fixed now that we could afford to
stay at home If we wanted to-so we
did. d."-Detroit Free Press.
He-l shall never marry until meet
Il woman who is my direct opposite.
She (encouragingly)-Well, MIR. Dufler.
there are plenty of bright, intelligent
girls in the neighborhood
| A Guarantee and Promise "Do you
guarantee this goods not to fadef" "Ab-
solutely! And IL 1t does we will sell
you new goods to match the changed
color. indianapolis News
/ Not His Fault. "Do you realize" said
the economist, that there Is heavy
surplus in the United States Treasury"
well" answered Senator Sorghum, 1T
amt my fault" Washington Star.
Newlywed-"Why don't you take
wife" Bachelor-"Niy income is only
sufficient for one" Newlywed-" We'll.
If she really loved you she would prob
ably be satisfied with that."-Puck.
Don't you miss you husband very
much now that he Is away. "Oh, mol
At breakfast just stand his newspaper
up in front of Il plate and half the time
| really forget he isn't there FIX
change.
That Is your husband rapping1' an
nounced the medium in solemn voice.
"My husband rappngY said the Wild
ow, absently; gracious! he must have
forgotten his Observation-Disclosures
Record
In His Favor. She-Papa says that n
young man who smokes cigarettes viii
never set the world on fire. He-Well,
that's the first good thing ever heard
any one say of cigarette smoker
Yonkers Statesman.
DR.. Brown-"Well did you keep the
thermometer in the room at 20 degrees,
as | told you" Mrs. Murphy-'I did,
ndade, doctor, but | had hard tonne
to do 1t. The only place 1t would stay
mt sivinty was fornlst the chimney
piece" Life.
4 al. 20.
in your paper. Is there any money
Editor-Oh, no; we sha'n't charge you
anything this time. 1t Is your first Of
fense, you know. If. however, 1t Is re-
peated, we can not let you off again SO
easily.-BOston Transcript.
Young Wife-"l received today a
beautiful diploma from the cooking
schOol-on parchment-and I've cele-
brated by making you this dish. Now.
just guess what 1t is." Young Hus-
band (chewing on his burnt omeleU-
The diplomat Fliegende Blatter.
Manoeuvers. Lieutenant Nobs dust
arrived)-IIow long viii you take to
drive me to the fort, cabby? Cabby--
; Ten minues, captlng, by the short cut
. through the halleys. But the military
: allus goes the long way round, through
the fashionable part o. the town. yer
! honor, which takes an hour. (Cabby
} gets his hour.) Punch.
"Cordin t tn statoots," began Judge
Wayback, as he stood up. I'm hev Z
Civ y ten years t tn pennytenchurry.
But" exclaimed the lawyer for the de-
fendant, jumping to his feet. there are
extenuating circumstances" They lsY'
cried the judge in alarm. "Ef thought
thet. burned II | wouldn't Civ him tif-
teen years."-Columbus journal.
"There, my dear" said the returned
hunter, there's one bird for you. any
way. Bagged him just as was about
to give up in disgust" "Oh, George!'
she exclaimed, ITS carrier-pigeon,
0 isn't it?" Not much! It's a quail"
But 1t has card tied to its leg. with
anma maGSapa On II etc som IL a.. &c,