Evening star., 1902-01-04
IN A TURKISH BATH
Phases Of Human Nature From the
Rubber's Standpoint.
TWO TYPES OF REGULAR CUSTOMERS
Some Men Bathe to Be Clean,
Others to Recuperate.
SOME REGULAR VISITORS

t'OXA II 4SLO ~ 4x1AS 4S4 - AOANS
''Do We see much Of human nature in our
business? Well. should sayi We see 1t
in the raw, too-what you might call nature
unadorned."
The Turkish bath attendant paused mo-
ment In his rubbing to cast critical eye
at a stout gentleman attired only in a crash
towel who was toeing his way gingerly
across the slippery tiled floor to the edge
Of the plunge. The towel was cast aside.
there was loud splash. a grampus-like
blowing and snorting, and the stout gentle
man floated gracefully away on the crest
of the wave his own avoirdupofs had made
Mankind, or at least the kind of man
that comes to the Turkish BATH continued
the philosopher attendant, ''may be divided
into two classes. First, the man who takes
a Turkish bath because it is cleanIy health
full and what a sensible man ought to do;
second, the man who takes 1t occasionally,
and, as you might say, for recuperative
purposes only. The first class furnish us
steady work and are the keystone of our
business. The second class provide us with
amusement and generous tips.
For Recuperative Purposes.
Life to the BATH attendant would be a
dreary and moist monotone il 1t We're not
for the breaking in Of the occasional gent
with head on seeking relief. He comes
at all hours Of the night or day, in all
stages of mental and physical wreck. and
you bet he keeps our hands full from the
moment of his arrival until we tuck him
away on the couch to sleep it off.
Now, this here second class is an inter-
esting study. The first class we can pass
over with a word. They come in quietly,
get their scrubbing without unnecessary
conversation, take their swim, rest a little,
and go home to dinner. But them high
roiiers!! What life they do lead us; and
yet how We would miss them-and their
tfps-ff they came no more.
The Man From Baltimore.
''I recall a gent what comes over from
Baltimore regular onst a month, usually
between the I'd and the 4th of the month.
l sizes him up as president of the board of
directors of some responsible institution
who is making big front in the communi-
ty and can't afford to have no fun at home.
So, after board meetin' every month, when
he has been good SO long that he Just can't
stand 1t a moment longer, he slips over to
Washington and lets loose for an evening.
He usually gets to the bath house about
quarter after 12-everything shuts up in
this town at midnight you know.
Il see him, in my minds eye now. COM
ing in with a lot Of dignity which is too
heavy burden for one in his condition to
as he lays his silk hat aside and takes off
the white string tie that has slowed around
under his ear. 'Will'yum. my son, you see
before you a victim of the juggernaut of
society and business: Will'yum, l an,
would-htc-rest. Les'h have a good rub
down and be sure you get me off on the
O'Clock train to Baltimore tomorrow.
"The subsequent proceedings interest
that gent Tim nd mo ua fa< 40
him In hand, and as soon as we gets him on
the table he goes to sleep. So We steams
him and scrubs him and soaks him and
rubs him and gives him a fine treatment
on Snorin' and a SnooZin' until O. clock
next mornin'. Then we wakes him, Jim
skips out and fetches in a good stiff drink
and the gent is all right to show up at his
Office in Baltimore at 8 o'clock. He al
ways leaves ten for me and Jim to
whack up.
His Evening in Warrington.
For long time I wonders about this
gent until one night I strikes his trail
It's my night off and I've been to the thea
ter. On my way home I stops in at lit
tie saloon that amt much on style, but
where they serve good beer and where 1
meets some of my friends. Who should
l see stacked up against the bar but my
friend from Baltimore, with a red-faced
cabman. drinhin' highballs. He seemed
powerful glad to see me and insisted on
me gettin' into the game. Well. for Curl
osity l did so, and for the rest Of that
evenin we just rode in a cab. visitin' out
of-the-way joints and hittin' it up. Every
one seemed to know the Baltimore gent
and called him colonel He was sociable
and generous and nobody could spend a
cent while he was around.
IVY do you frequent such vulgar pla ces
and company l asks him, as we are
drivin' over to East Wash'nton to hit the
Navy Yard route.
'Will'yum,' he says to me, your lack
Of observation, reason and power of de-
ductton Is lamentable. The absence Of
perception in your cosmos is distressing
and only compensated for by a super
abundance Of good nature. Do you not
see. my son. that a gent of my social and
financial standing cannot be a-visitin' Of
saloons where he will be recognized by
people who will know him. When in search
of recreation of this peculiar type. which
l find to be very desirable yet which must
be enjoyed only as stolen sweets. I must
fly low
Promptly at 1918 o'clock we gets back
to the bath house and although it's my
night off, the old geezer insists that must
come in and take care of him. So I has
to strip and go at 1t and stay till next
mornin'. But he never forgets nothin',
that old man. AS he goes out next day he
says. Here, Wiryum, my son. is an extra
five for your missin' your night off,.
Due at Home at 10 PM.
"Then. that reminds me Of another gent
who is so tied down by his family ties that
he can't even get away from town for a
night to have little fun. So he starts
out early In the morning for his jag. He
| hires room at a hotel. gets in a few
congeniai friends from hour to hour. and
they enjoy a racket, from what he tells
me, when he drifts In here out of cab
as soon as darkness has fallen. William
he says, I am due at home at 10 o'clock
sharp. Ostensibly William, have been
attendin' board meetin' after takin' din
ner with the chairman, and have got to
make good So Jim and me, we takes him
in hand and puts him through course of
sprouts which fetches him around all right
after an hours nap, and he starts out as
sober as Judge to get car.
"One night, though. he nearly has a
catastrophe Jim and me happens to be off
that night, and the other boys, who ain,t
used to his ways, forgets to call him at.
$50, in time to dress. So he sleeps peace
fully on, dreamin' Of high balls and high
cards until he wakes with a start at III
o'clock. His distress is pitfabIe, Billy, the
other rubber, tells me next day. He don't