Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1902-09-26
FRIGHT TO SUFFER. y
Darkey Defines the Right Of
Suffrage-Experiences of
Lee Ward Registrars.

The negroes in Lee Ward, say the reg
istrars. are showing the effects Of the
| rumored coaching Some of the elucida-
tions are really startling in their brilli-
ance, indicating a kind of negative genius,
an infinite capacity for getting things en-
tlrely wrong. A prominent son of Ham.
w<So may be designated as John Marshall,
Jr.,, when asked to explain ''the freedom
of the press is one of the great bulwarks
of liberty" declared it meant: "B1ood,
sub: a man whar got shot in de war Wild a
bullock!'' After long and painful con-
sideration, the registrars although they
had no official opinion from Major Ander-
son constituting the section, overruled John
Marshall, Jr's., construction.
William Whines was the name of a
promising applicant. At the last returns,
before going to press, William was still
whining. He had evidently been in the
United States Senate chamber during one
of the debates between Tillman and Nc
Laurin, or Beveridge and Bailey for he
unhesitatingly defined the General As
sembly" as the War Department. The
mistake was quite natural one. but the
registrars resented the insinuation that
the Virginia Assembly assembled it's ma
tional prototype.
A diminutive darkey weighed down by
the cognomens of three Presidents, had
digested the constitutions. but in the pro-
CESS lIc SGCllOllS lldu DeCOlIlt IOO lllOl
oughly assimilated. in fact. confused. An
application of smelling salts was neces-
sary to revive the registrars after listen
ing to the explanation. When asked to
explain the section referring to vacancies
in the Legislature being filled, etc, and
former members being eligible, etc., he
struck a dramatic attitude and hypnotic
ed the registrars by saying: de va
cinses dat hev became vacint by any reg
lister dying shall be it, He was refer
red for further instruction and coaching
| to certain negro porter who said "eligi-
Bile" meant dat everybody is subdued
to de laws where been made" Joshua S.
said the legislative department meant the
free and constitutional right to vote,
"cep'n been unfrancnised.' When pressed
to explain the requirement that the de-
partments must be kept separate and
distinct he announced, with becoming
| modesty :''Well, boss, I ain no editorial,
but Virginia ought to be his home natu-
rally" Needless to say, at Joshua S words
the sun stood still in Gideon, and the
moon in the Valley of Ajalon stood trans
| fixed by astonishment
A darkey with an Irish name had evil
IDENTIFY listened to stump speeches design
ed to relieve him of his shekeIs, or else
was wiser than he "wot Of" He defined
the legislative department as. Oats to
| keep me from voting For moment the
| registrars thought that it might have
| been intended as brilliant sarcastic epi-
gram. but their doubts were dispelled
when he explained, Neither shall exer-
else the powers properly belonging to
either of the others" by "Show me /
shouldn't vote, cep'n 1 had property" He
| was, however, given a further oppor-
| tunity. With charming simplicity he ex-
| planned that the right Of suffrage" meant
| the right to suffer" and seemed disgust
ed because asked such an easy one. He
also declared that ANY man whar ain
| got no taxes can't be taxed" The regis
| trars did not question the fact that these
| principles were fundamental, but as they
were confined to the principles laid down
| in the Constitution, and since the authors
| of that instrument omitted from the bill
of rights. by an oversight. no doubt. the
| right to suffer-" the applicant had to be
| refused