Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-07-19

ity" Certainly know a barber who
has three little shayers. Elk.
Youngman-11 wonder what's the best
way to find out what a woman thinks
of YOU? Henpeck Marry her Phila-
delphia Press.
Dawson jenks is great believer
in fate, isn't he} Lawson-Yes, he has
TO blame his lncompetency on some
thing. Somervlle Journal.
An Insinuation FIora-Fes. l sing in
church where they have an awfully
small congregation. Dora-Then why
don't you stop singing Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Mrs. Swellman-I dreamed last night
that | was with box party at the
opera. Mr. Swellmau-I wondered why
you We're talking so loud in your sleep.
Philadelphia Press.
Miss Eastsde- That is a lovely
gown. but haven't l seen it before?
Miss Westside-No. | think not; have
on,y worn it at few smart affairs this
season-Town and Country.
1T says here. Samanthy. tibet Reyor-
end Toogood was saloon passenger
on The Majestic Beats all how them
preachers do cut up when they git
away from hum Judge.
Arthur-Yes. l think Minnie loves
NE very much She's n dear girl; she
has "A large heart. Harry-A heart like
a London omnibus; always room for
one more. Boston Transcript
Clergyman Qately come to parish)--
Your ncighbor. Smith, says my ser
mons are rubbish. Farmcr-Ah, We
needn't mind i'm, sir; 'e's mouth
piece for other folks --TitBits.
Flossic- I'm afraid Bridget that
mamma is dissatisfied with you.
Bridget Is she, now? Faith, thin,
she'll soon have a chance to be dissat-
sfed wit somebody eise,-Puck.
Inducements Held out Harriet
What shall say in the advertisement
for cook? Harry Well. say that Wen
take her with us to any summer resort
5 may prefer. Detroit Free Press.
Nothing to Show. what is your ma
tivity?" asked the magistrate. Il amt
got any, yr honor" said the hlcar-eyed
iucbriatc, feeling in his pockets; the
police took everything had. Chicago
| Tribune.
She-You wouldn't mind saying this
over again tomorrow, would you,
deare? | am n member of the NJ. p.
| ID. c. Club. why, what does that
mean?" moonlight proposals don't
| count, Life.
Convincing Proof. May-I had no
idea before last night that Mr.. Pitcher
was man Of such lofty ambitions and
exalted ideals. Maud How did you
come to find It out? Maybe proposed
10 mel Bazaar,
Mothcr-There were two apples in
the cupboard, Tommy and now there
is only one IIow's that? Tommy (who
sees 10 way OF escapel-Well, ma. it
was SD dark in there / didn't see the
other one Glasgow Evening Times.
Sure Test: GLOW can you tell real cut
glass from the imitation" asked Mrs.
Gaswcl. You can't. always" said
Mr.. GasWell. but when anybody offers
you a piece Of real cut glass for fifteen
cents, don't buy it."-Chicago Tribune.
"Wlll you please raise my salary|
"Why, | gave you a raise only last
week, because you told me that you
had your mother to support Il know,
but my mother got married and now l
have two to support. Ohio State jour
nal.
Farmer 0n carU-Hi stop. stop,
you fool. Don't you see my horse is
running away? Driver Of motor car
Chircd by the hour)-Yes, it's all very
well for you to say stop" but I've for
gotten how the blooming thing works!
Punch.
Bobble-You know them preserves
out in tn pantry wot you told me not
to eat? Mother Yes. Bobbie-i You
know you said they'd make me sick IL
ct 'cm, didn't youf Mother-Yes.
Robbie Wei, they dIdnt--Ohio State
Journal.
Belinda. your brother George tells
ME that you were sitting on that little
Mr.. Thomkins' knees last evening. Is
it true" Yes, papa; but Pm sure you
VIII forgive me. 1t was just one OF
Dhosc little moral lapsos you know
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
IIaddock-I met poor old Ruyns
creeping towards his Office to-day. and
he complained bitterly Of being ali run
down this spring. Judd0ck defensive
!y)-Wcll, confound him, he bad no
business getting in front Of an auto
Harper's Bazaar.
The Floor Walker; First Clerk Poor
jim, It Will be long time before he
gets another place. Second Clerk
Dont you believe il. Why, he Got "A
place floor walker. First Clerk
You don't say so? Second Clerk Yes;
he's got new baby.-Judge.
Mr.. Williams Qanny's admlrerl is
-.,,,. ,:gtob s,otu0 IN tho eoasilo This