The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1902-09-14
Tim [LgGH1TER VEIN:



~ ~ ! !: ! ). *.*s.
ton for mechanics and compiled gram
mar This was successful, and the other
day, when men in the street were guess
ing and gossiping about what he was
doing in the market, a friend called at
his office and found the broker with
copy of a new edition of the grammar nm
the desk before him. He was busy ar
the moment, not with the operations go
ing forward, but with proud and delighted
contemplation of the statement of his
publishers, which showed that his roval-
ties for the last half year had amounted
to S9.65.
Governor Gambler of Georgia, is an
inimitable joke teller. His Jokes are
always lsavory and often highly seasoned
with spice. His listeners enjoy hearing
him, and his own laughter at the con-
clusion of his jokes shows how appre-
ciative he is of a good thing He has
a joke for every day in the year, and
his policy is to never repeat the same
story to the same or any other listener
unless requested to do so.
His jokes for the week are as fol-
lows, as given by the Atlanta News:
MONDAY.-"Two men out west were
playing a friendly game of poker. The
jack pot grew to an enormous propor-
ton and the men had hands that tied.
They quarreled. One player reached in
his boot and drew out long dirk, which
he held in position, saying:
Hark from the tomb
he nfh civ L
behind his head, brought forth pistol
from his boot, which be drew down to
the level of his companions eyes, re-
marking:
" A doleful sound!' -
TUESDAY-"Fghen Senator Reagan,
OF Texas, was in Washington he was des
perately in love with beautiful widow
by the name of Johnson. One night as
| came through the hall of the hotel I
saw the couple standing on the stairs in
most lover-like attitude. Reagan had
his hand laid carelessly on the arm Of
Mrs. Johnson and was looking devotedly
into her eyes.
AS / passed them I lifted his hand
away and said:
" Reagan, let her alone
Mrs. Johnson turned to me quickly
and replied:
" Do not disturb him, Colonel Cand-
Ter; it does him world of good and
cannot hurt me-
WEDNESDAY.-"Th same Senator
Reagan | told you of yesterday had been
engineering a measure through the
House, for he was a Congressman then,
and when it came up for passage one
of the opposing side asked that the en-
acting clause be struck out Such
proceeding would have cut the throat of
the bill. We looked around for Reagan
He could not be found. His presence
was necessary. His vote was needed
Finally he was found in the bath and
Informed that the roll had been called
once and was being called again.
Would he hurry and answer?
In moment he was out of the tub
and wrapping blanket around him,
walked into the House just in time to
hear the last name on the roll called the
second time.
DIN the BATH he cried. 4 have
not been in the tub for ten years, and
/ will never get another again, so help
me heaven,'
"It is needless to say that the bill was
lost
THURSDAY-''Did I ever tell you
the story about the negro preacher and
the apostles? No. Then here it is. A
negro preacher got up in the pulpit and
declared that the twelve apostles were
black.
8 No dey warn't said another negro,
'kase / know Peter was white man. Eff
Peter hadn't been a white man dat
rooster never would crowed but
once!"
FRIDAY.-"Over at the negro con-
gress coal black niger, as witty as an
Irishman, said:
You see that organist,' indicating
the musician. Well, he is here to give
tone to the meeting. Brother Gaines to
invoke grace. Governor Gambler to lend
dignity, his honor the mayor, style, and
am here to give color!'"
SATURDAY-"Th funniest thing
ever knew to happen" said the Gove"n-
or, "was the mistake a woman well
known in Georgia, made on her bridal
tour. Her husband was taken violently
i'll in the night and she had to go to the
dining room to get some mustard for E
plaster. She made the plaster on her
pocket handkerchief and hurrying back
turned the cover down and laid it on her
husband.
1.-THE man in the bed shrieked and lie
manded to know what she was dol ag
The woman discovered that she had
made a mistake. She had gone into she
room under her own. Next day her
husband met an old friend who invited
the newly married couple to visit him
at his home on the Hudson When the
bride took her departure the host gave
her package, remarking:
't'It is only little bridal gift
1.-The gift was lovely bracelet
wrapped in the brides mustard stained
handkerchief"
Her father who was strict prohibi-
zionist, had gone to bed, but she had
neglected to mention the fact to Mr..
Wibbleson, who expects some day to APP
pear on the stage in grand opera, says