Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1902-02-26
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Mother drilling Teddy for his nrst
party)-And now. darling. what Is .
greedy boy7 Teddy-A boy who wants
everything want.
Caustic: Minnick-I sent some verses
to that magazine, but don't think the
editor read them at all. Sinnick-Ah!
they were accepted. were they ?-Ph'l.
adelphia Press.
ut Is said that n November fog costs
London S250,OO0 day" CHATS fun
n.y." whats funny?" THAT both the
fog and the money should be mist
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
~ am told" said the friend. THAT the
manager You have left was paying you
a fabulous salary7" "No." answered
Mr.. Stormington Barnes; mot fnbu-
lous; ry."-Washington Star.
Mr.. Marmaduke Jenkyns-Well. old
boys will be old boys. Mrs. Jenkyns.
Mrs. Marmaduke Jenkyns-Oh, no:
no; you mean that old boys will keep
on trying to be young boys.-Detroit
Free Press.
Short Rations: Old Boarder-Whats
for breakfast? Hope not ham and eggs
again. Waitress-No. sir, not ham and
eggs this morning. Old Boarder Thank
the stars! What Is it, Waitress-Only
ham.-Tit-Bits.
The Bride-John. do you know any
thing about high balls7 "Why. err.
y-yes'm." "Then wish you would
cook several for my husbands dinner.
heard him tell a friend that he dearly
loved them."-Life.
Eyes. I've got little money put
away" said the laxative SPECTATOR:
"I've managed to get In on the ground
floor once or twice" me, too." whis-
pered the burglar, who sat next to him
In the train; 'shakc"-Philndelphia
Press.
Mamma-For goodness sake, Elsie.
why are you shouting In that disgrace
full fashion? Why can't you be quiet
like Willie? Elsie-He has to be quiet.
the way we're playing. Hes papa COM
ing home late. aud I'm you.-Philadel.
pnla i'ess.
The Honest neutrality-suspicious.
Customer Has this paper got the news
of the latest revolution In South Amer
lea? Newsboy In he honest with you.
mister us got al ceptln WHATS lNs
broke out IN the last ntteen mlnutes-
onlcaeo tribune.
why did Tou resign from your
club?' he asked. lob. they were 20
aDsuroiy patticuiar sne repnea.
do~ tne chairman Wouiuns
let me taiR just because some one else
was taiking-as II that made any dlt-
ference. -Chicago Post
Suspense: Been hunting tO-day1"
YES" said the amateur, with the wild
apprehensiVe look IN ms eye. have
you shot anything i DON'T know yer.
I'm waiting FOR the rest OF the party 70
get mo camp so tnat we can eau tns
roii.',-" asnhgton star.
Marga 'et-Matrlmony is not all that
1t is cracked up to be. Edith-How
can you say such things. Margaret
Why, there is Carrie Wintergreen. she
was married only year ago, ana now
she 10 divorced, WITH such lovely ALI
mony!-boston transcript.
Her Explanation.-"Do you mean to
say such physical wreck as he 10
gave you that black eyer asked the
magistrate. Sure. your honor. he
wasn't physical wreck till after he
give me the black eye" replied tue
complaining w'te.-ilt-bits.
A father. fearing an earthquake in,
the region of his home, sent bis two
boys to a distant friend until the peril
should be over. A few weeks after
the father received this letter from his
friend: please take your boys home
and send down the earthquake"
His Hope: II hope, "sald the serious
man. that you haven't been betting on
the races" 81 hope so. too," said the
young man with the red necktie and the
restless eye; 81 hope will wake. up to-
morrow and find out that the whole
thing was wild dream. But there's
no use hoping. Washington Star.
Easy lndlfference.-.Wby did We mr..
rive late and leave before the opera
| was over?' asked the youngest daugh.
ter; at was very enjoyable" "Of
course 1t was" answered Mrs. Cumrox,
"but, my dear. we had to show people
that we didn't care whether we got our
moneys worth or not."- Washington
Star,
Her raste for cbarity-"And so Won
oro doing charity worr III tho sIrn,.
10 tatc a, interest In thoso Noon ~
pleD .yea 4 enioy Tho worL vo,,
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