The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-09-14
e e e By George AIDE. g e.
Modern Fables
II Fable the Never>Aga'n Feeling
II and the Ride On SprinkEng Cart
Copyrighted 1902, by Robert Howard Russeil.)
Copyright, 1902, by Robert Howard
RuSSelll

Copyright, 1902 by Robert Howard
Russell)
Once there was an Indian who had
Way of putting on all his Feathers ard
breaking out of the Reservation.
For three Week. at a Stretch he gave
Correct Imitation of the Shining Light
who passes the Basket and supe intends
the Repairs on the Parsonage He was
entitled to a Mark Of 100 for I'eport-
ment. With his Meals he drank little
Polly. After Dinner he smoked one Per
fecto and then. when he had put In
frolicsome Hour or so with tho SUrsH
American Review, he crawled into the
Hay at $50 P. NJ.
AT last he accumulated a Sense OF
Virtue that was hard to carry around
He was proud of himself when he counted
up the number Of days during which he
had stuck to the Straight and Narrow.
1t seemed to him that he deserved
Reward. So he decided to buy himself
a little Present, something costing about
l. cents. He picked out a First-C!ass
Place where they had Electric Fans and
Pictures by the Old Masters. He poured
out a Workingman's Size-the kind that
makes the Barkeep stop wipins up and
look unfriendly for Moment or two.
Then he remembered that a Bird can
not fly wl.n one Wing 50 he gently raised
the Index Finger and gave the Prescr1p-
ton Clerk a Look, which in the sign
Language means. "Rep.at the l'vse
1t is an Historical Fact that when
Man falls backward from the Water
Wagon he always lands in Crowd me
full Stage Setting, the Light Effects and
the Red Fire were all ready to make 1t
a Spectacular Affair. Just after he had
moved away No and had stopped
worrying about the Winters Coal. he
began to meet Friends who were dying
of Thirst Then the atmosphere began
to be curdled with High Balls and Ply
mouth Sours and Mint Smashes, and ne
was telling Shoe Drummer that a lot
Of People who had been knocking him
would probably be working for MIN pc
fore the Year was out.
Then he found himself in a four-oared
Ca,let and the Sea became very RoUgn.
There was something out OF Whack WIN
tic Steering Gear, for instead OF orlnshis
ur at his Boarding House he found nm
self at another Rum Parlor- ne Man
who owned the Place had lost the heS
and could not lock up. Here he met ses -
e, al Delegates to q State Convention "
a F1aternal Order having for 1t Purpose
the uplifting Of Mankind. they wore
blue Badges and were fighting 10 get
their Money into the Cash REGISTER. ~
little while he and a red-neadeo Ds'e-
gate were up by the Cigar Counter g., sii ~
ing How can bear to leave thee! ne
put in an Application for Membership.
and then the next Picture thai. came ou1
Of the Fog was Chop Suey Restaurant
arc. everybody breaking dlsnes.
soon after the Lights went out. ana
whom he came back to Earth he was
living the wrong way Of his Bed. with
Blue Badges all over hin trying to ss-.'i-
low Bath Towel, which he afterwards
discovered was his Tongue. By getting a
Leverage under his Head he managed to
pry it UP, and then he sat on the eoee OF
the Ped and called himself Names. He
had nothing left over except the Cards
given to him by the Brothers from up
st;,'e somewhere. He had a dim and
sneaking Recollection TIA. he llaa given
lis address and Phone Number to the