davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
INITIALS ON THEIR LoAvEs.
Montreal Hts on a Plan Of Bringing

Montreal Hits on a Plan Of Bringing
Its Short Weight Bakers to Time.
The city of Montreal has just
passed a law to improve its bread
supply. All Montreal loaves hereafter
must be stamped WITH a number in
dicating their weight and with the
initials of the baker.
A forty-dollar fine and two months'
imprisonment are the alternative pen.
alties provided for each violation, and
all bread not fulfilling requirements
is to be seized. Besides this it is
provided also unW heavy penalties
that all rooms for the manufacture
Of food products shall be at least eight
feet high and hoored with cement
tiles. or wood properly saturated with
linseed oil.
The walls and ceilings must be
white-washed It least once In six
months, and no animals. except cats,
shall be allowed In any rooms used
for the manufacture or storage o.
bread or pastry.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
ITHTHEHUMORIsT
JOKES AND JEsTs TURNED OUT
HY OFFICIAL FUNMAKERs.
An Expensive Kind Of shopplns-Klnd
Of Scientific Feseareh Summer Girl
Was Interested ina Man and His
Heart


The following simple remedies r.
given for the benefit Of those who
have formed The habit Of taking pat
ent medicines. Everybody is advised
TO give these remedies a fair trial,
they surely can do no good and may
do some harm:
To Cure Toothache-When tooth
begins to jump tie same down by
means Of stout rope. SO that jumping
Is impossible. If tooth continues to
ache go to some dentist who has a
pull.
To Cure Insomnia-Shut your eyes
and count gray sheep, which you must
imagine you lei jumping over a pair
Of bars. Count from sheep No. 1 up
to sheep No. 57,4S2. BY that time it
viii be daylight and you win be
obliged to get up.
To Relieve Distress After Eating
Stop eating.
To Remove a Wart-Try filing Il
of and If the wart does not succumb
to this use a stump puller. If this
fails try saying words over It, but
don't swear so hard that the neigh
bors will hear you.-Ohio State Jour
nal.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
At the Last Moment.
~ FRANK H. sWEET.


Copyright, 1902. by Daily Story Pub. Coz
This day had finished the loading Of
the vessel for her trip across the
ocean, and now, as the sun was sink
ing behind the shrouds Of the ship to
the west, the %stevedores filed in front
Of the officer who was checking off
and paying for the hours they had
worked.
AS they received their money tho
~stevedores passed across to the wharf
or stopped for a few minutes cor
v~ersation with each other, or with
some of the sailors who CHANGED to be
near. One of them dropped unnoticed
through a hatchway and slipped back
into the hold, where the freight had
been slowed. Then he made his way
among the boxes and bales until he
came to a narrow space which had
evidently beer left by design, for it
was long enough for a man to stretch
at full length in II and contained wa
ter and crackers enough to keep off
starvation for a week or ten days.
After the young stevedore had crowd
ed into 1t. he drew a case in front of
the opening to prevent discovery by
a possible prowler or Inspector Of the
freight.
Then he made himself as comfort
able as he could in the narrow space
and chuckled at the prospect of
reaching the other side without cost.
He thought exultantly Of what he
would do when he got there, and Of
the other strange lands he would visit
before returning home. There was no
sense in people spending money to
travel when a little shrewdness and a
bold face would answer just as well.
He had SO in his pocket, the sum
paid him on deck a half hour before,
but that was as much as he usually
had ahead these days. He had given
up work, except in case of necessity;
and even the SO would not have been
earned had not this trip cross the
ocean been planned as part Of the
gain.
For an hour he remained awake list
ening TO the sounds on deck and exult-
ing in his own sh%rewdness; then.
weary with the days labor, his head
leaned forward and he sank into a
sound sleep.
Late the next evening the vessel
was to begin her voyage, and during
the early part OF the day his attention
was occupied by the sounds Of pas
sengers coming on board and of bag
gage and the last consignments Of
freight being slowed away. But at
length, listening became m~onotonous,
and ever his own thoughts, exultant
though they were, grew wearisome.
He was not accustomed to being alone
or to self-communion. During the past
few years, when not asleep, he had
generally been with boon companions
on a street corner. or with them he
had been in some mischief. He tried
to keep up his interest in the sounds
on deck, and think of the fun ahead
Of him. rather than Of the past. But
he could not; It all kept surging over
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

CWnWN REPAI OF every known make Of
NV ~ stove, furnace or range. 9kO. "a.
PULLEN, 1891 Lawrence g., Denver, Phone -.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

A visitor at n certain exposition was
seated 81 a table in one oi the high
priced restaurants in tho exposition
grounds. thinking about various things
as he read over the bin Of fare and
observed the prices.
'By iingol" he exclaimed 10 tho
waiter. Haven't you got any con.
science at an in this placer"
beg pardon. returned the naughty
servitor.
Haven't you got any conscience
console nscience-don' you un-
d~erstandg"
The waiter picked up the bin Ct
fare and began looking It over.
II don't know n we have OF not"
he said; ~ we have it's on the bill;
If we amt It's an extry. Them's the
rules, sir"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

No ono was Watching him. however.
and presently erasping a rope. he
swung himself over the aide and FROM
the end Of the rope he dropped into
the water.
Two hours iator he drew himself
ZAP on n Of the yharvea. nearly e s.
hausted. but with a look on his face
that had not been there for yearu.
Now for home. he said aloud:
straight for home" Then be disap-
peared ia the shadow of the great
warehouses.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
0YF0Rn BnTFl i7s as sIEEg EP EEAR
sstfsisesuSS filss,-oidsSs. Popular Ti6os Z. ii. MoFss. isn
The Colorado Tent & Awning CT

Largest Dealers iu the west
101T-G3 Lawrence Street, Denver, Colo.
Write for Catalogue aud Price List
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
oppressIve Taxation h France.

The French chancellor owes $4,000
a year to the cyclists. and he is IN the
happy position. too, of drawing a con
siderable revenue each year from the
national pawnshops of France. The
Fronchman can hardly walk through
a door or look through a window with
out being reminded OF his taxes. for
both doors and windows help 70 keep
France going Their Joint contribu.
ton to tho exchequer Is over 10000
600. Every poster 90 a boarding
yields its quota 10 the e%xcheqper Of
France. and the hoardiiee throughout
the country stand for nearly $4,000 a
week.
Paint VIII make an pId house iool
new. BIT a. won't make an Old womai
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
A TerpsIehorean Finish.

II could just die dancing" avows
the maiden fair to see, who has been
t~wo-stepping on the hotel piazza.
"Ah, smiles her escort, "as Shake
speare might have said. you could
'double-shufie of this mortal COLL
At first she was inclined to ask for
an introduction to Mr.. Shakespeare.
but she c%ontented herself with assur-
ing her escort that he was just dread.
full.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Once upon a time there was a rich
old man who had a heart so weak
that its faint beatings could hardly be
heard; yet, in the metaphor of our
time, that same heart was filed with
love for a fairy lady.
The lazy heard of her wooer's phys
ical and financial condition, and
looked upon his suit with extreme IA
o The result was that they were
married.
Moral-Faint heart sometimes wins
fair lady.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Fogg-Oh, yes; he had a great deal
to say about you. For one thing, he
declared there the makings of a
great nan in you.
Dumleigh-Did he? But that wasn't
bad, now.
Fogg-He said you had a good shell,
all you needed was the hlling.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Il hope, my dear" her father wrote,
that you are not frittering away your
time at the seashore.
Certainly not" she replied. Il am
engaged in scientific research"
T%hereupon the father was SO pleased
that he wrote to his wife for further
particulars.
las near as I can make out" was
the reply he received, "her scientific
research consists of a deep interest
in sun-spots. She is flirting with a
freckle-faced youth"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Il don't believe you love me e bit!"
sobbed his wife.
but 1 dc, darllngl I
Don't tell mel It's unnatural you
should. No man could love a woman
who wears such old hats as l dol
London Answers.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The Chicago girl who wants $780,.
600 from the man who tempered with
her affections charges up $4,000 OF 1t
40 loss Of social prestige. still, she
may not have been a society belle.
fifty thousand dollars doesn't ia these
days Of millions take one very far
Into The lNIm.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Slipped back into the hold.
him, again and again, and when he
would thrust It away. It returned only
more strongly and perslstently. Yet
he was not leaving much, after an, he
told himself. grimly; he had not had a
home for three years; he had no po-
sition, no friends. no prospects, even
the boon companions would scarcely
INQUIRE after or regret him. OF an
the world there wac only just ono
who believed in and trusted him. and
Sc had not seen her for three years.
Thefe had been months when Do has
not even thought Of her 81 oi the Lt.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

A.-Why didn't you congratulate
Lorimer on his marriage?
BIZ couldn't conscientiously do
that; / don't know his wife.
A-Well. then you might have
wished her Joy.
B.-I couldn't reasonably do that,
for 1 do know Lorimerl-Ladies'
Field.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Sweet Girl am loved by two men.
and l cannot make up my mind which
to marry. What would you advise?
Old Lady--Get both to insure their
lives in your favor and then wait I'M
til one of them dies. That will insure
the ~constancy of the other.-New
York Weekly.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

"Oh, yes" said the young house.
keeper, Il keep a complete set Of
household account books, and it's
more fun than a little"
Fun" calculated the neighbor.
yes, indeed. / enjoyed 1t so
much"
Enjoy what?"
why, watching my husband trying
to straighten them out for me, Of
course. 1 get him to do it about once
a week"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

~riow Is your boy getting along at
school7"
MISUNDERSTANDING tell you,
my friend, this boy Of mine win make
his way in the world, don't you fear.
During the time he's been going to
school they have had thirty-two x
aminations, and he's managed to
dodge every n of them."-Glasgow
(%Scotland) Times.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

No matter how many canal com
panies are incorporated In New Jer-
aey. Uncle Sam Is likely to handle
the pick and shovel when It comes to
actually digging through the isthmus.
The biggest corporation in this coun-
Try 10 the people.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Mrs. Eawkbn (severely)--Is It
true. Captain, that you shouted to your
men to give the enemy-er-hell?
Captain Blankblank-Well madam.
what should have ordered them 10
give the enemy-nand-painted fire
screens2-Judge.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The car has decided that hereafter
he win meet all classes of his subjects
and hear their grievances. This will
likely prove much better than to allow
the Glasses" to take the initiative I'm
securing interviews.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

sportsmen from the northern part
OF Wisconsin report that II is so cold
the hsh are wearing pond lily leaf nit
tens on their inns. but allowances
must be made for the effects Of dis
appointment on the general nature
Of the complete angler.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Old Fogey-I am panied to hear that
you are addicted to playing wL4st. and
that last night you lost S25.
Young Fogey-The ideal Why, I
don't even know how to play the game.
Old Fogey-so / am informed by
She gentleman who won the money.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Artist (to fair critic)-What do you
think of my picture of a peasant girl?
Fair Critic-Perfectly lovely. But
where did you " get the model for
such a lovely picture hat?
Artist lsadly)-That's not a picture
hat. She is carrying home a bundle
of hay.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
He Was Wide.

eyes" said the fat man, Il live in
swamphurst, but I don't know the
man you speak OF"
That's funny; he said be had a
wide acquaintance IN Swamphurst,
and I naturally thought he meant
you3
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Gushing City GIRL; How pinkly
sweet and d%eliciously d%elicately fra
grant those apple blows are. They en-
cnant one awfully!
Honest Farmer. You ought to get
a sniff Of 'em after they've been stilled
into juice.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Eskimos claim to have found the re.
mains OF Noah's ark away up near the
arctic circle. Can it be possible that
Noah started in search OF the pole
without first having a relief expedi-
ton provided for?
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Mr.. Slimpurse latter a decided re-.
fusaD-I know what the matter is.
It's because / I'M poor. You would
marry me if l was rich.
Miss Gailie (thoughtfully)-Perhap
So, but you would have to be very,
very rich.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The announcement that IN Eastern
railway has provided a special ticket
six feet long leads TO the feaD that
the traveller Of the future viii need
an extra piece Of luggage In which
TO carry his transportation permit
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
Verv u Meetlnn.

well. did the club have a pleasant
timer" asked her husband, when his
woman's rights wife returned home.
mo, we didn't" she snapped. Not
a single member was absent, and we
had nothing to talk about"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The New York judge who has de-
cided that 50. 900 a year is the least
possible income that will support u
society girl nus have daughters who
are spending the summer at a fashion
able resort.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

An Indiana lover who sang Good
Morning, Carrie" beneath his sweet
hearts window was shot by irate
neighbors. who claim they thought
It was a tom cat.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Gle has had an interesting career,
hasn't her
"Wel rather. He has been through
two fortunes. three wives and a sani.
tarium Life.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
Lad Reason 70 Know.

Cohenstein-Vot makes you tink
you last fire was caused by rats
gnawing madches?
Isaacstein-Vell. 1 springled a pound
of powdered cheeze over a box of
madches der night peforel
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

A trade journal reports that the Wis
ible supply Of caviare has been great
ly reduced. This is a calamity that
most persons can view with stoical
indifference.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The way the young king OF Spain
is behaving toward his mother seems
to show hat the maternal slipper
was not properly exercised in his ear
lier years.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Charios-And now that you are 60
ing down to the beach / hope you viii
not forget me. think / win put a
string around your hnger
Catharine (coyly)--Why not a ring?
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Sunday is said to be King Edwards
unlucky day. a discovery that ought
70 admonish hip 10 try the expert
ment ~ spending It as other persons
do.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Rev. Mr.. scudder Of Jersey City ad-
vises the clergy to "eat ginger"
If some of them would eat less ginger
and more fish it would to the
purpose.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Edward Ffuhl of Wilkesbarre. Pa,
wants the court to let him change his
name. It would surely be a fool court
that denied such a petition.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Why not speak a good word for
Alfred Austin? His coronation ode
contains nothing that could bring the
faintest blush to the cheek of mod
esty.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

"Oom Paul" has hung up the re-
ceiver and turned away from the tel
ephone with a sad sigh
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

A Chicago man has been elected
president of the American Whist
League. Yet they say the people Of
thai city are noisy.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The dednition of q scholar az "a
gentleman fitted for the best society
Who Keeps out Of q" should De pastel
in lha bats OF the thousands of COZ
iere graduates Who have gone ont into
iho world 20 show how 90 ron things.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
lnainn onnortunltles.

'rhe automobile had broken down,
and the chauffeur was busy trying to
discover the trouble. The impatient
owner of the machine at last broke
out:
Hurry up, Felixi There are a lot
OF people crossing the street that we
are missingl"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

DON'T Jon know that Defiance etaton
besides being absolutely superior %
any other. is put up l0 ounces ln pack
age and sells az same prices aa 3-ounco
packages OF other kinusf
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The Minneapolis police situation
aurpasses that Of New York in that
the trains have to be watched lest
the force run away.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
ED UCATIONAL.
THE UNIVERSITY or NOTRE DAME,

NUKE UNWE, WITNNNl
FULL COURSES IN Classics. Letters, Eco-
comics and History, Journalism, Art, Science.
pharmacys Law. Civil, Mechanical and dlec-
irlcai Engineering. Architecture.
thorough Preparatory and Commercial
Rooms Free 20 an students who have CONE
pleted the studies required for admission Into
the Junior or Senior Year Of any OF the Coliegi-
ate Courses.
koims 90 Rent, moderate charge 10 sfsdentf
over seventeen preparing for COlleqiaA lOurseA
Alimlted number OF Candidates for the Eccle-
ulstlcal state VIII be received az special rates
ST. Edwards tall, for boys under l3 years. i8
unique 10 the completeness OF it8 Equipment
Ihe 5Qth Year viii open September 9. 1907.
Catalogues free Address
REV. a. MORRissEY. c. s. C.. President
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

A member Of the Austrian reichs-
rath lost his ear in a duel; but It was
his tongue that got him into trouble.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Having received your semi-annual
dividends. are you going to buy a yell
low automobile or a porterhouse
steak?
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

There are doubtless many men in
this country to-day who would not
mind swapping their $40 Panamas for
75-cent umbrellas.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

King Alfonso wants to visit the
European capitals in search Of a wife.
Unfortunately his wish is likely to
be gratihed.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

Fortunately the reading public was
prepared for the worst before Poet
Laureate Austin's coronation ode was
printed.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

II the woman who asserts that Rus
sell Sage gave her a quarter is de-
clared insane will Russell get his
money back?
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

The men Of Kansas want farm
hands, but the Kansas girls prefer
bank clerks.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

There is nothing so becoming 20 a
jury bribor as short hair and y striped
suit.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

A match game Is talked Of between
the American appendicitis and the
British perityphlitis.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

And when the new titles were given
out William Waldorf Astor wasn't on
the listi
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

New York doctors who do business
en- fashionable circles are getting
ready for an epidemic Of perltyphlitis.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

"Here's a book that tells about The
~ method Of getting accepted.
what Is it--a bank books
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29

AZ usual, they put old John Most In
iail and let It Sc ct that
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-29
MARY'S ACADEMY.

One mile west Of the University of Eoiro Damo3
Thorough English and Glnssioai Education.
Including Greek, Latin. French and ermnn. on
ompletinH the fuN course 81 studies. students
cceiVo the Regular Collegiate Degrees.
Tho Conservatory OF Music ls couducled on
be plan OF the best Classical C0nsorvntoroaof
europe.
The Art Department. ia modelled after cha
leat Art Schools OF Europe.
~trepa ratorY ANA Mlnlm Departments Fu-
lia ore here carefully prepared Tor ne Aca-
fr direction of oIaduulo OF Boston Normal
school OF 0HmnnItica HooHEofuInn Fhonon-
Ipny ono I~VntHrItin0 extra. EVERY NHrIolVoI
iress
DREcrlEss on THE hcADrtn.
= Navs Aeaaay. Nsr panef q. asn
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-03-26
IRISH LAND BILL IN HOUSE,
MEASURE TO IMPROVE PRESENT SITUA-
TION INTRODUCED BY Mr..
WYNDHAM.

London. March 25.-The Chief Secretary for
ireland. George Wyndham. introduced the Irish
Land bill in the House Of Commons to-day. Mr..
Wyndham said the object of the bill was to
amend the Land Purchase law. The govern
ment could not ignore the problem, owing to
the acute crisis in agriculture, which was now
a standstil. and in view Of the fact that
there was an alarming decrease in the advances
for the purchase of land, owing to the unwi-
ipgness Of the landowners to sell
The main provision Of the bill authorizes the
Land Commission take over the whole or any
part of an estate whose owner IS willing to sell.
The commission will then resell 1t to the ten
ants. But the assent Of three-quarters of the
number Of tenants Is necessary before the COM
mission may undertake to transfer any part Of
an estate. The landlord may himself repurchase
part Of his estate, not exceeding one-ifth Of the
total area, from the commission. thus becoming
a tenant purchaser. in case he desires to con
tinue 10 reside on the estate. The bill does not
provide for compulsory purchase All the trans
fer arrangements are in the hands Of the com
mission
The bill provides that cash, not exceeding
t3o000OO TO be outstanding at any one time.
may be advanced 10 the commission by the En-
chequer. thus enabling purchases 20 be made on
a vastly larger scale than ever before.
The irish members showed little enthusiasm
over the bill. John Redmond. the Nationalist
leader in the House said he intended TO reserve
his judgment until he had studied the provisions
Of the bill carefully. He warned the government
that universal compulsory purchase must be the
ultimate solution OF the problem. nothing else
would be acceptable
Timothy II Healy. Nationalist. said he be-
Heved the bill would do something toward set
ting the question but that much depended
upon the constitution Of new estates and the
commission.