The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1902-02-14

the smell Of neither, but We yaller
and green looked pretty, and II wus
all ready for the company when they
cum hum from church.
We that knowed things felt that we
could see marks of innard torture on
poor Mrs. Virgins face. and we felt TO
sympathize, fur she wus naturally a
moral woman and a pious one. and
she'd been driven to sin by the mean
ness of her pardner. You see, she wus
one Of them women that lives fur their
children. Eff she'd been pelican, she'd
hev took all the feathers out Of her
buzzim to make 'em beds, and she'd
sackerficed herself fur Melindy. She
looked kinder better when she got to
church. but our minister he wus young
and hadn't married nobody before. and.
bein narvous, he commenced fur to
read the burial sarvice instead Of the
marriage sarvice, and we bein all stiff
with horrer hadn't presence of mind
enough fur to stop him until he'd actil-
ly buried Melindy as fur as words
could go, and Mrs. Virgins wus in
high strikes.
However. she got over 'em, and the
minister he said he didn't know after
all but IL wus providence TO keep us
from bein too sot on the things Of this
world and reminded how short life wus
and went back and married 'em proper.
And SO we did get back to Virgins
only, Mr. Virgins hevin been too mean
to get the wagin mended. the wheel
come off, and they wus all split out and
eenamost drownded goin over Slabside
bridge that amt got no rallin. Mrs.
Virgins, poor dear, wus soaked, and
when we TUX her into our wagin she
kept sayin, ts-jedgments-
Judgments is comin!' We knowed what
she wus thnkin Of, and we tried to
cheer her up
Well, when the folks wus dried and
dressed over we all went to supper, and
we praised 1t up as much as we could.
but Mrs. Virgins sot down in her place
like a ghost, and folks began to talk
and laugh and help everything. But
she didn't smile.
She passed the chicken salad plates
to the help, and the help gave 'em to
the folks, and we all tasted 1t, but it
didn't relish. Still we tried to eat ii fur
her sake. Most Of us done IL, too and
the coffee wus good, and we cheered
up some. Mrs. Virgins didn't eat no
salad herself. so she didn't know how
II tasted. After supper we all went in
to the parlor and sot around and 81
Barker wus tryin to git up dancin, and
l did hope things would end happy,
when all of a sudden folks began to
look pale and say they wus p'isoned.
So they seemed to be. One after the
other wus took sick, and they all said
the same thing-it wus the salad.
felt very poorly myself, and so did my
Obediah. The minister had gone home
sick, and there wus regular panic.
There wus one doctor there, and he
sent fur another, and old Miss PEBBLES
said 1t WIS like old cholera times. Ii
wus awful, anyway, but Jest as we
wus at the wust, we ladies lyin about
in the up stairs rooms eXpectin to die
and feelin sure 1t wus arsenic, Mrs.
Virgins appeared amongst US.
Friends and Teller sinners" she said,
1--WE air all on the pint Of death, and
here, before you all, | make confess
sion | am thief and a robber. and /
shall never be pardoned. 1t wus me
that robbed my husband, and, more
than that. | stole the chickens to make
the sallad-one of 'em from each Of my
good friends and neighbors. Judgments
has fallen!'
You wus drlv to it. Mrs. Virgins,
seq 1, 'by your pardner's meanness
We all knowed It, and none Of us
blame you"
you don't know ALL" said Mrs. Wig
gins. "More'n that, / went to the store
and TUX my chances and stole bottle
Of ile The recipe said TO make the sal
lad dressn with lie. I'd never made
none. | stole the bottle. Oh, | sham
never be forgiven, shan't never be for
giveni l TUX bottle of Prison Of some
sort, fur it wus in the drug department
where lies is kept, and I'm a muir
dereri"
"Oh. ho!' says the doctor Bring IN,
the bottle. Mrs. Virgins, and / guess
I'll find out how to cure EN-"
Mrs. Virgins fetched it; doctor he
tasted it.
This amt p'lson, ladies'" seq he
'There amt no great harm done, only
don't suppose the recipe mentioned cas-
tor oil for salad dressing. 'Tisn't usua
anyhow. Nobody is goin to die this
time, Mrs. Virgins, unless it is you
yourself. You lie down and quiet your
self"
Poor Mrs. Virgins, she dropped or
her knees and prayed right there ful
thankfulness, and we all fined in, and
az soon as folks knowed they hadn't
TUX arsenic they all got better. Mrs
Virgins solemn and distracted looks
and her not eatin ANY. had made then
that worn't In the secret think thai
she'd gone crazy and done ii a-purpose
which scared 'em more.
And they do say Mr.. Virgins aim
quite so near as he used to be since ht
saw what might come of drivin wo
man into a corner for want of n penny
II