The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-11

never forget; for his shoulders ache from
the many StOOps to pick up the balls, ana
his eyelid droops where she smotc him
twice with her racket small, which left
her hand as she struck the ball; and
for she heard him swear when she
pinged him then-Baltimorc American.
At a dinner recently Licut-Go Wood
ruff of New York told story OF Il lady |
living i'll the country, who was asked as
to the whereabouts Of her husband. She !
replied:
it is. he is skating; if it is us thick us l |
think it is, he is swimming.'
The pariShionrrs of ono of the best !
known cleryymcn in Philadelphia vouch
for the trnthfulneSS Of this story. The
minister had frequently warned his wife
that she WAS too careless i'll the way
she carried her pocketbook and that
some day she would surely lose it,
Of the down town trust companies and
WAS surprised to see his wife ahead ui
him 1t the window. The end of h"r
.Dckctb;nk was protruding from hey
coat p,rkct. 'Hert'S my chance t"
teach hec Il '"S>on,' said the minister t.
himself. and he pushed against his I'M
S9suec1ing better half and transferred
left the bank. At dinner that evening
been soday my i% the ha'f house,
all day mtnlin=," replied his wife.
Well. YOU were down town for il while,
We're ycu not:' said the husband. NO,
| WAS not" insisted his spouse, wonder
ing Why do You ask: 'What:'
almost shouted the minis:":. ISN'T this
Your pockethook:'' ''Npycr had ore like
it., where did it come fl0m!' asked the
puzzled wonlan- God have mercy on
nay soul | stole it, answered the preach-
cr Then he confessed the trick he had
tried to play ON his wife. They exam
new $40 BILLS. No eame in it" gave a
clue to the owner. The minister went
to the trust company next day with the
! wallet. The story hc told was received
with lifted eyebrows. Two nlenth$ later
the bank officials returned the pocket
bad claimed it and they would not keep
it. He has given the contents to charity.
Mrs. ,Iu,t~-Just think 'ef it! That
fellow came in anil actually stole the
clock right off the, lnantlcl,icce Mrs.
Brown-Anl your dog wak in the very
same room! Mrs. Yourselves, but that
didn't count Eide is only watch dog,
You know.-Goston Transcript.
| Fritz krcislcr the Xi0liniS!, now tour
| ing here. before coming to this country
| wanted t.. LEARN English. lie knew sonis
American girls in Berlin, ard they said
| they would teach him. They taught him
all the slang they knew.
lie w;.' going t" play at Il musicale
given by one OF she most prominent
members 'of society. Gu catering, the
hostess said: How do you do, Mr..
Kreislcr, hope yau arc wesl.''
! hot stuff 1oo"'
! Somcfinl" after liz realized how nicely
! he had answered.
!, Possible Evolution. Nurse Yes
1 dear, this is Your little baby sister,
Elsie--"I mierd! And where did she come
'from?' Nnrsf-'''Thr stork left her here
! in IL clothes basket" Eisie-"<The idea:
| woman. '-lhiladclphi7l Press.
\ correspondent of Mainly About Peo-
| nle writes: ~"Iour Goad story OF W. S.
| tailbcrt reminds me of a still better one
| that poor COnney Grain used to tell Of
the Bah Balladist. Mr.. Gilbert was or
a visit to IL friend. On the morning after
HES arrival uc WAS tnHlLShr WITH HIS nOSi
! before breakfast when he became sud
denly aware that family prayers were.
about to be read. The household filed
| in, &nd the distinguished guest knelt
| down Nn the sp.s: where hr happened 70
be standing. Locking up Ire caught his
hosts eye fixed OH him with Il warning
glance which he, however. failed to read
Alright. The service hegan> Almighty
| Father. who hast made I'LL mon Alik.
(more Geographic .Aanccsl. rich and poor,
gentle and Simple'-then. unable to con
tain himself any longer, the hr,st called
out; Gilbert: You are kn"lin$ among
the Servan1s..'
Il will kill YOU" Missed the villain
With the tinf"il sword. ';,nd that will hc
! the end
mo, it WON'T retortsd the beautiful
| heroine: "thiS is New York. and if you
kill me- the case will 80 Oh forever. -
Philadelphia Record
Two women filed out of the Bijou
theatre on Saturday afternoon cnga gcd
! i'll heated discussion of the conclusion
Of The Climbers.
Il think it was just too mean to have
Frank Worthing die. said one OF them
well. / think it WAS just good enough
for him.. replied her companion. .Ill
bet Amelia Bingham. his wife. was glad
Of it. WHY. that kind of Il man would
have worn out any family!
well. there are other familicS.'
"Why. Mrs. - would you approve Of
|; man like that being turned loose on
society: He would have been il regu-
lar home wreckcr."
My dear. you are ol,l-faslone,l We
don't call them home wrcckers any
more. They are merely wife-suotherS.
And wouldn't Frank W"rthinG he a
llandy?'
Diplomatic- -''Fathcr, wish you'd
spank me Il little Bit "Why, Tommy.
| the idea! Spank you-what for?'' Eyes,
| then I'll cry. and grandma will feel so
awfully sorry she'll give me some
| candy. -Rrooklyn Life.
| 1t is not always safe to Jest with a
Hallway porter. \ traveller arrived ut !,
wayside station and in Il wild burst of
humor: asked the porter at what time the
! tive-thirty train left. NJ half-paSt FIVE
precisely" the other replied. But"
said the traveller, Il observe that the sta