davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
A Harvard Man in Germany.
New York Tribune,

4 Harvard graduate tells this story
on himself. Says he: The summer
after graduation 1 was travelling alone
through Germany. Before landing in
the country 1 had thought that knew
considerable about the language, hav-
ing spent two years in the study of it,
with a finish of Goethe and Schiller.
But soon found that a reading of the
poets or the Niebelungen Lied did not
help me when 1 wanted 10 order beef
steak at a hotel or was inQuiring the
distance to the next town. Indeed, as
l went up the Rhine I found myself
more and more confused by what I
heard, and had finally made up my
mind that an American cannot learn
the German language out of text books,
or even by a weeks sOjourn among
the German people themselves
Il had reached this sober conclusion
when 1 entered one evening a small inn,
or 'gasthaus,' just outside the town of
Heidelberg. Thirsty from the hot sun
and dusty road, / managed to order a
glass of beer. While the heavy Ger
man barkeeper was drawing another
put my feet on the table to better ease
my legs. At the other end of the table
sat a number Of German soldiers drink
ing and smoking together A few mo-
ments later one of the soldiers arose
dressed me at some length. Not know
ing a word that was said, 1 concluded
that yes would be proper answer, and
so said politely, Yah. yah.
There was a moments pause, and
then a second soldier sprang TO his
feet He repeated over the speech OF
the first soldier, and then all the group
in uniform started at me. By nat
ural inference I now decided that il
yah was wrong, a negative answer
must fit the question, so 1 smiled
pleasantly and taking OF my hat, an
swered, 'Nein. nein, nimmer-'
..All the soldiers now sprang to their
feet and there might have been inter
national complications at the present
time between the United States and
Germany If the hoteIkeeper who kne "
a bit OF English, had not said
Young man, they have asked you
twice TO take your feet of the table
and threaten if you do not that they
viii throw you out Of the house
AT this the stars and stripes were
pulled down before 1 realized that
had beatena retreat
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
' HERE STRIKERS ARE WRONG

ROM THE EVIDENCE at hand the
II conclusion that the Chicago street
Railway men who have voted to strike
Ire wrong. is Irresistible. The Union
FRACTION company. in this case the
Employer OF the men, offered an in
irease in wages and agreed to employ
itn1y union operatives. More, IL pro-
e5osed arbitra ton as method of set
Hing the dispute. and announced that
tt would be bound by the decision OF
Xhe arbitrators.
y BY their vote in favor of a strike the
men rejected these overtures, and so
t.6laced themselves in the wrong at the
,rtart William Mahon, international
,bresldent of the Amalgamted Associa-
zion OF Street Car Employees. told the
Ichicagoans that the general union
.txould not support them in their posi-
Jon as long as they refused to sub
Unit their claims to arbitration, and
lthe strike is doomed before it has fair
~ begun.
a Strikers are not always right, any
. more than employers are always
{ Krong. 1t is evident that men who are
got at to lead. men VINO have risen to
bower through that glibness of tongue
(which has caused certain people to re-
her to labor leaders as labor agita-
iu.ors." are in control in Chicago. If
gthe workers know when they are well
sbn they VIII kick their bad advisers out
land make a fresh start.
\, Street railways are public utilities Of
she most necessary sort. Their peace
gul operation should never be inter
rupted except under the gravest prov
opcation. Citizens can get along without
.~anthracite coal, they can do without
tosteel rails and structural iron but they
'nmust have some sure and prompt
means of intra- mural transportation at
,ali times. Otherwise business is para
snlyzed and the wheels of trade Will move
= but slowly.
Sc The street car is the poor mans car
.riage. He uses it in going to his place
,<of business and in returning home. No
s-!one is so seriously Inconvenience by
ma street railway tie-up as the man who
l9wOTks hard for his daily bread. To
's'expeet him TO walk home at the end
.ooof his hours of toll is asking too much.
r Neither should he be asked to walk
leto his place Of occupation. arriving
lnthere tired when he should be fresh.
u Chicago is a city of magnificent dis
= tances." and its people viii be partic-
f.ularly inconvenience if the strike be-
-scomes general But the same thing
lawould be true of Salt Lake. where
many men live far from their work
shops
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
The Philosophers Find.

tCnlcaSo RecOr0-heralQ-}
Some people seem to think their un-
kindness is written upon a slzsS and
that the moist sponge of forgiveness
should ever be at hand TO wipe it out.
When you adopt an original trend of
thought, remember that yoa cannot
walk against the crowd without having
your elbows roughly jostled at times.
Money, after all. is but the corkscrew
for pleasure
Men should never f1irt with the
woman who writes her love affairs in
indelible ink
1t is the man with an inexhaustible
supply of profanity who objects to
women using slang.
For ages man has held the old maid
up TO ridicule because she would not
submit to his tyranny.
The real compliment IN a mans fat
terry is in the wish TO please which
prompts the nonsense.
Little sorrows in the hearts Of some
people are like the squeak balloon,
whose repeated mutations make all by
ISLANDERS wretched-
There are women who seem TO con-
slider a worshiper at their shrine as
important an adjunct TO their public
appearance as their bodices or boots
If you want a man 20 think you are
very clever, show unbounded apprecia-
ton OF MS achievements
Many a man has asked some woman
to let him take care of her in order
TO get her TO take care of him
Love should be called the ether end
Of life; those under it's influence seem
so insensible TO outside JOY or pain
Some persons who have been
crossed in love" always give the i'm
preston OF having just hit their funny
bone"
The much-vaunted mantle of charity
is often rendered quite useless by rents
from the sword of strict justice
Dissatisfaction with ones condition
In life is the match that has started
many a spark of genius which has
later illumined the world
So few women realize the vital diff
ference between being part ola man
happiness and merely . part Of his
pleasure
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
It Was His Pet Economy.
New York Tribune.)


Got match about you?' asked the
bookkeeper of the chief buyer.
Wonder you wouldn't buy matches
once in a WHILE growled the buyer
I've been supplying you with matchse
for years.
''I never buy matches-never have
and never will" said the bookkeeper-
1t is my pet economy. Most every
man has one"
And the bookkeeper was right Near
ly every man has a pet economy, and
will go q great length to indulge it
At the Union club they stiII tell of q
worthy old member who was particu-
lar about using a certain kind of soap,
but was not willing TO buy it. They
used the soap at the club and he ap-
propriated the oak IS as fast as he
needed them. He Z seded so many that
the steward finally changed tie brand
The same spirit Of economy in small
things makes other people stuff them
selves with bread in order that no
butter may be left on their plates and
wasted. Hundreds of men would not
dream of buying lead pencil. To save
buying stationery others write their
letters at hotels which are generous
in providing writing materials Scores
of men and women save pennies by
picking up discarded newspapers in
the elevated trains and ferry boats.
And so il goes. It Is not so much the
actual money saved that moves peo-
pie in these little schemes; rather an
Unborn desire to economize in some
thing.
But to return to the bookkeeper, the
buyer and the matches. The book
keeper continued:
''You are stingy with your old
! matches. IN just take a lot and then
I'll be independent of you
Then he emptied about half the box,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
An Impromptu Conspiracy.
(Pittshurg Gazette.)


1 forget just now what character ii
is that Shakespeare makes to say,
Lord. Lord. how this world is given
to lyingl" But I was reminded of the
exclamation while eating my luncheon
in a restaurant the other day.
A young man asked his friend to
pass the bowl of coleslaw-
That's not coleslaw, said the other,
as he pushed IL along. ITS celery"
What are you giYin' me?'' demand
ed the first speaker.
Chopped celery" replied the other,
unblushingly. Then he winked at the
waiter and said:
George, isn't that celery?''
Yes, sab; OATS celery" replied
George. promptly.
The first young man was dazed, and
then he appealed to a couple of type
writer girls who were eating at the
next table, but who had listened to the
dispute.
They sweetly assured him that the
bowl contained celery.
Then he turned to a man at the end
OF the table who had watched proceed
inAs but had said nothing.
What do you say it is?" he de-
manded.
Its apple butter
Then everybody burst out laughing,
and the man who had asked for the
coleslaw recognized an impromptu con-
Spiracy TO deceive him.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Ociety X

The reception rendered to Mr. and
Mrs De Soto Donaldson last evening
at the home of the brides parents was
one of the delightful events of the
week. The young people were greeted
by a host of their friends, and the
good wishes and congratulations of
many were extended to them.
The bride and groom, attended by
Mrs Bridwe1l and Mrs. Wilkins. stood
in the reception room. and in the din
ing room the Misses Lydia Weller and
Rose Heath served delicious refresh
ments. An orchestra stationed in the
library furnished excellent music The
house and grounds were beautifully
decorated for the occasion. the lawn
being enclosed with flags and bunting
and hung with numerous incandescent
lights The reception room was entire
~ in yellow, the brilliant golden
shower and coreopsis being used in its
decoration In the dining room white
and green were used. and pink was
the only color in the parlor.
The bride wore a handsome gown OF
white tulie over white silk, with trim
mings of ecru lace. She carried a
large shower bouquet of Brides roses
Mr.. and Mrs. Donaldson will make their
home in this city.
@ g @
Miss Florence Dow was the hostess
at very pleasant afternoon party
given yesterday in honor of Miss Corey
Ferguson. The game enjoyed by the
guests was ping pong, and music was
furnished during the time refresh
ments were served by an orchestra in
the upper hall. A unique cook book
was presented TO the guest of honor
containing the favoTfte recipes of the
other guests. The book was hand
made and handsomely bound in burnt
leather. The young girls present to
meet Miss Ferguson were the Misses
Sue and Stella clark. May and Edith
Crane, Mary and Bessie Mayne, Ire
land, Eberhardt, Sowles, Lambourne
Shields. Goliath. Stalter and Snyder
Mrs. Fisher Harris and Mrs. Pfoutz
entertained at a delightful luncheon
at the Commercial club yesterday.
Mr.. and Mrs. John n. Sharp. Miss
Rice and Mrs Andrew Iiowd left
yesterday for the home of Hrs. Dowd
in Sunnyside.
Mrs. Stanley Price is expecting Mrs
Wilmans of San Francisco to be her
guest shortly.
Mrs. w. F. Adams. who has beer
spending the past month at Pacific
Grove, will return about the end OF
next week.
Mrs. H. P. Henderson will leave
shortly for visit to her sister in Du.
luth.
Mrs. Russell L. Tracy will return from
California abouI the middle Of Sep
TENDER.
Mrs Holmes and her daughters. the
Misses Charlotte and Leila Holmes
will leave some time during the com
/ ing week for Santa Monica.
g g g
The Misses Gertrude and MyrtI,
Reilly have returned from a trip Il
Denver, where they were the guests
of Mr.. and Mrs. J. H. Lands, former
/ ly of this city.
Mr.. and Mrs. William H Cunning
ham are expected home next weel
from their wedding trip.
Colonel and Mrs. N. w. Clayton an,
their son and daughter will leav
shortly for Detroit, where Miss Clay
ton will remain during the comin
year, pursuing her musical studies.
g 9 3
Mrs. J. H. Ryckman left last nigh
! for visit for a few weeks wit
friends in Ogden.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
woMAs's RIGHT TO D,ssuRss

Il INHITHER ARE WE DRIFTING
= W where are We at. why are we
ewhat? If so. when? These are the
Suggestions which every married man win
r ask himself when he reads the deci-
! sion Of a justice Of the New York SUI
s. preme court. A down trodden husband
Is wearing his life away in the routine
ntof business. found debts continually
/. piiing up on him. An Investigation
i disclosed the fact that his helpmeet
{ WAS 10 blame for the trouble.
lr She spent his money with a liberal
lt hand. sometimes with two liberal. and
s always with too liberal hands. He re-
: naonstrated with her. but she saucily
II told him to get hence Next thing she
, knew she was served with summons
= to answer divorce proceedings. 1t was
!. admitted In the complaint that the wo-
q man was a good wife in all respects
h except the matter of expenditures.
1t There she was hopelessly at fault and
Z the husband figured that it gave him
good grounds for divorce
The court has Just held otherwise
b "a husband takes a wife for better or
] worse" declared the justice. and be-
cause she does rot conform her expen-
3 ditures to his idea Of economy is not
b ground for casting her from him.
what an avenue this opens fer the
? wives Of this bright and happy land,
j How gloomy must be the horizons OF
Z the husbands Of the wives aforesaid,
= No longer may the alleged head OF
: he household inquire; What the dick
! Ems did you aao with that seventy-five
nts I rv--~ +s-~a we~ss ago.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

Friends of Jesse F. Baker. division
superintendent of the Pullman Palace
Car company, and he has hundreds of
them in Utah. will learn with regret
of his resignation. effective as soon as
his successor is appointed. Mr.. Baker
expects to return east to live. A
genial, afable gentleman and an excel
lent business man, Mr.. Baker made
friends with all he met. His resigna-
ton is a distinct loss to the company
he served, as well as to all who knew
Mr.. Baker.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
AmuSemeHtS.
. .

The general public had its last op-
portunity Of witnessing "Corianton"
last night, and the large audience in
attendance saw what was beyond ques-
ton the best performance of the play
given in Salt Lake. Many of the
friendly suggestions given by the crit
les have been incorporated. but still
the play can stand some fixing" If
the details that have provoked criti-
cism are not attended to. the manage
ment may expect little better than hu-
morous notices in the larger cities
This afternoon "Corianton' will be
presented for the old folks. The COM
pany leaves for Denver tomorrow even
ing at o'clock. The full company,
Seventy-five people will go along.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
STOLE A WATERMELON.
An Atlanta Darkey Who Believed It
No Crime on the Fourth


atlanta constitutional
OF swipiEg melons Jonathan
The police were accusing;
He thought the season Of. the year
Such acts should be excusing.
Jonathan Matthews swiped a water
melon stated an officer when Dark
town youth came forward from the
waiting room
Very melancholy" remarked the re-
corder.
Hit sho am er sad com ter pass, -
said the prisoner. "Hyar wus 'tryin'
ter buy er watermillion fer mer Sunday
dinner. an whilst / wus gittin' de
price down frum 10 cents ter er nickel,
de dago lows dat I was swipin' de
million. Desc dagoes hain't got no bus
mess keepin' up de price when de FORT
OBJ July am 50 close. Swipin am swip-
in at one time OBJ de var, an den it
hain't no swipin' at anudder time OBJ
de var. ledge Briles.''
II think you will have 10 season your
opinion more Judiciously.' the recorder
told him. "A swipe is a swipe, Jona-
than, whether u be ice in December or
hot weinerwurst in August I would
like TO know, anyway, what the Fourth
of July has got TO do with it7''
I brung dat inter dis case" stated
the prisoner. "bekase Ise been raised
ter blieb in Georgy dat er niger am
got de right 70 hab his watermillion on
de FORT OBJ July, an dat de Teller whut
rizzes de price am er enermy OBJ his
kentry.''
Wei. what about stealing a water
melon?" the recorder asked
L jes' tux de watermillion. was the
reply, AN flung down nler nickel. Hit
wus er far an. squar' FORT OBJ July
trade. ledge Briles."
Ten and costs, stated Recorder
Broyles- Il am sorry that the Fourth
of July win see you where the Deelara-
ton of Independence viii find you
without American liberty. Perhaps
they may have a watermelon cutting
at the stockade on the Fourth. but
whether they do or not it is place
where you canteloupe."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

Hawaii is out of court funds and its
criminals cannot be tried. This is q
friendly tip for the hold-ups who are
now infesting Salt Lake to emigrate,
Il is true they haven't been caught yet
and the chances are they won't be for a
long, long time. but when they are
caught they win be tried. A word tc
the wise is sufficient.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

President Burt of the Union Pacific
has been arrested on ten warrants
charging him with unlawfully impris-
oning men brought to work in the rail-
roads shops. Your Uncle Horace's at
torneys apparently have some work
cut out for them. Even a railroad pres
ident has no right to imprison men
without warrant of law.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

In most respects Pocatello is one OF
the best towns in the United States. but
1t certainly is the unenvied possessor
CT the cheapest thief The Herald has
heard of for a long time. He's the fell
low who rified the box that had been
put in the cornerstone Of Pocatello's
new Masonic block.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Washed His Face, Lost sweetheart

In a provincial paper there is an excel
lent story Of a servant who gave her mis-
tress notice because she wished TO marry
ohm. the sweep A few days later she
announced that she had changed her
mind This is very sudden. Jane, said
her mistress 'STes'm." the servant re-
piled. y saw John last nighth for the
rst time with his face washed And
there and then she made a clean EweeQ
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
They Meant Wen Enough.

A Celt who. after pulling every political
wire in the ward in which he lived and
voted. had been given position as a
diver in the government service. resigned
al the end of his first experience under
water His chief. who had been told tn
take good care OF the new man because
OF the influence that obtained the posi-
ton. was surprised. and asked the reason
I guess yez all name well enough
was the reply. but Oi'n shtick to no Job
where OF can't shpit on me hans"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

The ancient eagle bird has another
chance to scream. Larned. the Amer
lean tennis expert. has defeated Doher-
", the English crack, in the finals for
the championship OF the world. Is
there any other game England can
pIay2
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

you see. rna'am.g began the profess
sionai beggar. 4 got my arm scalded III
be glad to show YOU
Never mind. - interrupted Mrs kOaId-
art You're only wasting your time
here
trouble TO show goods
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

One more fool has Joined the great
majority. He lighted Il FIRE with kero-
sene over in Wyoming Providence has
happy ways OF maintaining the intel
lect average. and this is one Of them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Pa Elucidates.


PA, what does absent minded mean7-
My boy. that's easy. Did you ever
stop % think72''
Yes"
And your thoughts ran ong"
Yes
wei. that's it."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

Another Anglo-American alliance is
about to be formed. 1t is between the
American and the English tobacco
trusts. For once The Herald hopes the
nerntsatSens viii 20 NJ in smoke.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Her Reason.

philadelphia Press)
Tess-He said If I don't accept hin, his
blood would be upon my head
JeSs-And SO you Telented?
TeSS-YeS. nv hair IS so light YOU
know, L would look awful
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Is Route
(BaItimore American-l

tbaItIn1DTe AUerlcan-1
Where Will the isthmian canal r11n7''
asked the man on the cracker barrel
From the treasury department to the
contractor" stated the man with the in
caudeScent Whiskers
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Nos as COnsiderate as he Might Be.

Chicago Post-l
Hes a good friend Of yours. isn't hep
''Oh. only medium.
What do you mean by medium"
.Oh. he listens while I tell him all Of
my troubles, but he also wants me 10
listen while he tells me all of his
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

The School of Arts and Sciences offers
courses in:
1. General Science.
2 Liberal Arts.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
UNIVERSITY OF UTAH.
School of Arts and Sciences.
State School of Mines.
Salt Lake City.

Sciences
ehoo OF Mines
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
State Normal School.

The Normal School offers:
/ A four years Normal Course.
. Advanced Normal Courses.
3. Courses in kindergarten Training
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28

The School Of Mines offers courses in:
L Mining Engineering.
2 Electrical Engineering.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-28
Preparatory School.

A Preparatory School is MAINTAINED
which gives preparation 1Or the courses
in General Science. Liberal Arts. Mining
and Electrical Engineering, Law, Med--
cine and Business
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-10-25
SIR ROBERT ROSS.
.PALMIST, MEDIUM, ADVISER.

Positive information. relief. success and
satisfaction Of any character regarding
anyone or anything. No long waiting.
No guesses. This great life Adviser
opens up a way for you 20 attract and
control what you wish. Love, Marriage.
Health. Law. Property, Money. Changes.
situations, Luck. etc. A consultation
with ROSS brings the results you desire:
. consultation with others usually leaves
you In worse condition. III you have lost
time and money, STOP. get started right.
consult ROSS and IL nothing can be done
for you. he will honestly tell you 80.
Kind. sympathetic and generous with all.
Reduced fees so cents and up. to all bring
ing this notice. Hours. 10 a. m. to .
p. m. daily and Sunday.
THE WINDEMERE," "a Aborn Ct.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-10-25
,opoINc noUse-te ROOMS

Beautiful home. elegantly furnished
every convenience; paying 800 month
clear proft PIERCE & Co, 335 West
minister. Room 20
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-10-25
LODGING nousE-tt ROOMS.

Central; corner location: beautifully
furnished: paying $50 month clear: ex-
ceptional house. price sl.ooo.0O PIERCE 4
co S35 Westminster, Room 49,
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-10-25
InnnlNa housE-fs Rooms

Rest location. furnished nrst-class; I;
paving 800 month clear: price 500: worth
r2O. PIERCE a CO. 335 Westminster,
Room ".
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-10-25
lopoiNo noUsE-17 ROOMS

Great location. good home: plenty OF
business paying si5 month clear profit
price low PIERCE a. CO. 335 Westmin-
ster. Room 4ec