Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1902-08-06
What Happened
to ParSOn Elves

down at the little seaside village OF
y. In the evenings l would often
90 and smoke my pipe in the tap
room and amuse myself by listening
to the quaint conversation of the
simple rustics who frequented it.
One evening-it was Nov. 4 in
last year, happened to say to one
of them:
"Let me see-tomorrow'S Guy
Fawkes day. l suppose you have
great goings on in the village, don't
your"
He shook his head solemnly and
answered:
"Nay, nay, mea8ter, we don't keep
no Guy Fawkes day here. Used to
do once upon a time, but it's been
given up ever since what happened
about Parson Elves"
"What was that ?" l inquired.
'Haven't you heerd them" he
replied. 'A[aybe you'd like me to
tell your"
1 signifed assent and, settling
myself comfortably in my chair,
prepared to listen to what l knew
from the old fellows discursive
style Of narration would be a toler-
ably long yarn.
"Well, he began, cts main long
time ago-forty years as l reckon 1t
but L can rec'llect it all clear as
though it had happened yesterday.
Parson Elves, he wer' vicar Of this
parish. A fine young man he wer',
too-strong and tall and lithesome
as any one l ever see. Heart alive,
how he could play cricket and run
and jump 1t wer' sight to watch
him. He wer' only twenty-seven;
too young, l SEE, for to be parson
Of a parish, for he hadn't got and
couldn't have the experience Of us
poorer folk and our ways and feel
ings, which a parson amt no use at
all without
'He wer' good in his heart, wer'
young Parson Elves, and meant as
well as any one, but he didn't 90 the
right way to work with us. lie had
newfangled notions about the sery-
ices and would have this altered
and that altered, all as headstrong
as could be, never saying with youl
leave or by your leave to the wishe;
of the congregation.
"Wel, we didn't like this, fol
we've always been old fashioned
folk here, and the old fashioned
ways had done very well for the
likes Of we. So we got into a regu
lar feud with parson. And there
sprung up another cause for dis
content in parsons treatment o
dissenters. lie was always saying
things ag'in 'cm in his sermons
preaching about the deadly sin o
schism and what not, until he no
only stirred them up to wrath, bu
also a good many of the church foil
as well, for there was hardly fam
ily but where some wer' dissenters
And the people didn't like havin3
it preached at 'em that their par
ents, it might be, or husbands o
wives wer' in danger Of the un
quenchable fire.
"And so matters got terrible bit
ter betwixt parson and the peopl
until by the time he'd been in tn
place year many on us wer' read
to join in any mortal plan for spit
ing un. III NJ
yember wer' coming on, and Farm
cr Scriyner-him as had Brook
leaze, where Farmer Giles do liv
now, and wer' the principal dissent
er in the place-set on foot the nc
ton Of burning parson III eHl9y O
Gunpowder day, with hooting an
groanings and all sorts OF insults.
"Well, measter, as | have salC
folks was then just about ripe 10
Spiting parson, and the propose
took on like anything. We went /
for carrying of it out, regular heal
and soul, and we made figure jus
parsons height and size, and 81
Nodo, as wer' village tailor then, b
made suit Of broadcloth just liz
parson wore, and all of us paid S
much toward the value of the stui
And then some one else went int
town and bought proper hat
parsons it wer' exactly-and whe
the figure wer' dressed up ready fc
carrying around and burning, shuI
it might almost have been taken fC
parsons very self.
"God bless my soul and bod
how well | do remember that night
We carried the elligy along as ia
as the vicarage gate, and there "
stopped and set up yelling and his
ing. And Farmer Scriyner, he cal
for three groans for parson, and "
gives 'em and three times thr'
afterward Then parson comes OF
and tries to speak to us, but v
browns his voice with shouting al
grooming, so that he goes in aga
and shuts the door.