The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-06-10
Texan Tactics
By C. B. LEWIS

| of his ancestors he had thought 1t only
proper to secure the permission Of her ia
! ther
yes; glad you called to talk matters over"
replied Colonel Sam as he leaned back in
! his chair. "You have seen Edith, you say,
and you love her?'
q loaf her as loaf my life," replied the
| count as he worked the windmill racket with
! his arms
| Il see. Can't say that I'm struck on your
shape, but I'm willing to give you a chance
Can you throw lasso, brand a calf or ride
bucking broncho?'
The count did not understand, and the
/ colonel had to go into explanations When
he had finished and added that his ranches
| were all family affairs and that he would
| start son-in-law in at $45 per month and
gradually advance him, he found no listener
| to his last words.
| There came other Italian counts, and they,
| too disappeared after brief talk with tina
| colonel, but it was not until they moved on
! to Italy that there was count for every
hour of the twenty-four. Counts followed the
pair as they went sightseeing, met them at
the doors Of cathedrals and amid historic
| ruins and swarmed in the Hobbies Of hotels.
1t took Colonel Sam half the day and all
the evening to turn them down. Some had
titles only two feet long, and some had titles
running into yards, but to save time and
trouble he called them all Count Dizzio Es
encouraged all of them to the extent Of Of
fering them various jobs ranging in wages
from $50 to $45 per month and board, and in
each and every case his generous offer was
refused with Indignation. In only one case
did Dizzio feel that the insult must be wiped
out in blood.
"Signor, you have insulta me, and you must
ighta me one duel!" he exclaimed.
"All right, old boy, have it your way"
was the good-natured reply. las am the
| challenged party. I shall select revolvers.
and if don't shoot six holes through you
in six seconds I'll never again claim Texas
as my home * ---
The count declared that gentleman could
! not fight with any other weapon than Z
| rapier, but the colonel firmly replied:
| mo toasting forks or frog stckers for
me. My idea is to kill you as dead and as
| quick as possible, and there's nothing like
| chunks of lead to do it. Name your time
| and place, friend Dizzio, and look up the
deed to your lot in the graveyard at the
! same time 80.
| The count retreated In good order and
| took revenge by declaring on all sides that
| Colonel, Sam Taylor was no gentleman. But
| the last Italian count was the most deter
mined of all. He must either marry money
or open secondhand clothing store. Colonel
| Sam was lot the man to kick another when
he was down. His daughter felt sorry for
a man with title who was in such straits,
| and she permitted the count to get .
| crick in the back of his neck bowling to her.
| The idea was to let him down easy, but he
refused to be let down. By some hook or
crook he raised money enough to follow them
| back to London, and he had become such
nuisance that the colonel felt compelled to
| say:
| Look here, Mr.. Dizzio, you'll have to
choke off. The girl doesn't want you for .
| husband. You'd better run home and not
bother any more
| That evening in the ladies' parlor, which
| happened to be clear of other guests, Dizzio
made one last appeal to Edith. When she
| told him it was useless to hope, he drew
stiletto and declared that they should die
together.
! The count was still fourishing the weapon
when a hand clutched his neck. The stiletto
was wrenhced from his grasp, and then Colo
mel Sam backed him up against the wall and
proceeded to take him to pieces. He re-
moved the wig from his head, the false teeth
from his jaws, the false eyebrows and the
glass eye and made them up into package
! with a S. gold piece and said: - -
: Come, old man, get a move ON you. -
And the last Italian count moved on But
| the colonel leaned back and laughed. -.