Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-12-23
QUILL'S FABLE.
Tidal Revival Wave Strikes a
Small Town.
PhiIanthropist Scatters Money to the
Birds
And Broke Up Meeting by Disclosing
His Profession. = -

Once. upon a time there was a tidal
wave Of revival that struck a small
town Ind came very near rubbing it
OF the map. The old town had laid
dormant for so long that when the re-
vival did come it was like the blowing
of Gabriel's trumpet. 1t stirred the
ancient moss-back village from out
skirts to center and set the people
wondering how they had lived in sin
and iniquity for SO long. But at last
the awakening had come. The scales
had fallen from their eyes and they
were aroused from their lethargy and
the beacon fires were burning on the
hillside. announcing the fact that SAL
walton could be had for the asking by
simply inquiring within.
All four corners of the town seemed
to break out at once like an epidemic
of measles and such a rustling among
the heathens for converts had never
been known for years. Anybody who
could trace their ancient lineage. back
to the time of William, the corn curer,
or could discover a blot on the family
esCutchenn as big as pea bean show
ing that some black sheep member of
the family had in the hay day of their
youth committed some indiscretion
like sailing with Captain Kidd or serv-
ing on the sewer committee in the city
government, was considered a FORUM
ate mortal and treated with all due
reverence and entitled to a front seat
near the melodeOn. They were con-
sidered a good natured rivalry among
the different members to see who
could round up and brand the most
converts and all sorts of schemes were
worked to catch the unweary. But the
main object was to catch them. At
last at the wise suggestion of some
member high up in the council it was
suggested to pool their issues and
hold q mammoth mass meeting, sort
of free for all, where everybody
could hear and be heard.
So all their petty differences were adj
justed and meeting was called
which promised to Guido anything in
the meeting line that had been sprung
on the public for days and weeks, long
before it came off and when the APP
pointed time came the old meeting
house grOaned in every joint from cell
lar to belfrey with the crowd that
swarmcd within its opened doors.
When the night arrived, hot air artists
and balloon food orators kept the eX
element UP to the boiling pitch, while
few spellbinders from the isolated
ward added a little Charred wood to
the already glowing ernbers. Among
others who had been attracted by this
loudly heralded. protracted meeting
was an elderly gentleman. rather Il
dignified looking man, with a sancti-
moniouS Countcnancc that would re-
mind one of head on Canadian
blumagum. He was evidently a stran-
ger who had dropped in to see the good
work go on.
The meeting mulled along with an
occasional burst of oratory that would
have put Patrick Henry's eye out of
Joint had he been there. When the
meeting had reached the high water
mark and the choice bits of rhetoric
were seeking an outlet up the Chin
ney some good brother proposed start
ing a fund for the purpose of buying
an organ for the church, SO the hat
was passed up and down the aisles,
but the contributions were few and far
between. Finally an account of stock
was taken and the sum total received
was announced and an invitation given
for anybody who wished to swell the
fund by subscription to shell out
The elderly stranger, who up to that
time had taken but a passing interest
in the meeting, arose and announced
that he would give five dollars toward
the object. This was a windfall from
an unexpected source and the MEM
bers were enthusiastic over it. The
chairman accepted the gift and in
thanking the good-hearted stranger
said he wished him all the prosperity
in the world and hoped his business
would increase five fold. One of the
fair sisters not wishing to be outdone
i'm generosity said she for one was
truly grateful for the gift and wished
the good man all the prosperity in the
world and the world to come and sin
cereIy hoped his business would be in
creased tenfoId. The congregation was
wishing him all sorts of good things in
the prosperity line when an old gentle
man in his seat on the side aisle arose
and said he wished to add his thanks
for the gift and would like TO know
what line of business the gentleman
was in. After some hesitation on the
part of the philanthropist he arose and
thanked the people for their good
wishes and smilingly said he was in
the undertaking business. Moral: 1t is
never well to wish the undertaken
prosperity. for it may be your turn
next.
No & ~