The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1902-01-17
FUNNY WAR cLAIrs.

sons, Arms and corporations want $751;
100000 from the United States for
damages done to. their property in
Cuba during the last insurrection
against Spain. The last claims have
been filed with the Cuban claims COM
mission and an examination Of them
shows that most Of them think the
United States will pay high prices for
low commodities. The largest single
one is $4.177,69s.S5, which was present
ed by q Cuban sugar company incor-
porated under the laws OF the state Of
New York. From this sum the claim
runs down to $1,000 or $4,000. although
such small amounts are the exception,
the average claim, not counting those
filed on account of the disaster to the
battleship Maine, being between $780,
900 and $250,000. Most of the claim
ants evidently think Uncle Sam is
about the easiest picking" the world
ever knew. The statements they have
filed withsthe commission setting forth
the damages they have suffered might
we'll rank as humorous literature. An
examination Of some Of them furnish
es more entertainment than mark
Twain's". sketches. The Cuban mule
must have been table delicacy be-
fore and during the late instruction,
judging from the value placed on him
by the patriots who wish to dip their
hands into Uncle Sans pockets. Every
COW must have made an American
Jersey look mean if we are to accept
the values placed on them. The
fences separating one plantation from
another must have been silver plated.
The huts which the native workmen
inhabited must have been furnished
with Brussels carpets and mahogany
bedsteads and equipped with onyx
mantelpieces and porcelain bath tubs,
although the Cubans were not notori-
GUS for their bathing propensities.
And the sugar cane-it was the finest
quality, just ready to be harvested and
marketed at handsome profit. It
must have contained chocolate creams
and bon bons, placed there by the
lavish hand Of bountiful nature. But
valuable as were the crops, the beasts
of burden and the other adjuncts of
well-kept Cuban plantation, they
were cheap compared with other
things for which damages were claim
ed. For example, man who was ar
rested during the insurrection because
he could not give a satisfactory &C.
count of himself to the Spanish au-
thorities calculates that the wear and
tear on his dignity and peace of mind
could not be remedied or repaired for
less than 100000. Of course the Span
ish prisons where American suspects
were lodged pending an investigation
Of their cases were not models of COM
fort and luxury, but many respect
able citizen can be found who would
sleep there and keep company with a
few Cuban rats and bats for less than
$4,000 a night. Many claims have been
filed for alleged false Imprisonment,
and one for less than $4,000 is an ex-
ception. Here is an itemized state
ment of claim filed by an American
citizen who was arrested because he
was suspected of being in collision
with the insurgents outside of Havana
short time before the United States
and Spain went to war: For i'm
prisonment and refusal to hold COM
munication with the American consul
general, $4,000; for mental and physi-
cal suffering and indignities, $4,000;
for permanent mental and physical in
juries, $4,000; for defamation of
character, $4,000; for extra expense on
account of Imprisonment to obtain re-
lease, or cash expended, $1,000; total,
100000. A man with name decided
ly Spanish. averring that he was nat
uralized in the city of New York, who
asks for $4,000 damages for the al
legged ruination of what must have
been a veritable Garden of Eden in the
province Of Mantanzas, puts down his
mules at $3.50 each and every horse on
the plantation at the same figure
st. Louis Republic.
Eigurehesds for Navy vessels.
The old practice of adjoining the