Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-02-08
Women Who Obey.

The wording of the marriage ceremony.
in which the woman is made to promise
to obey her husband, has long been a
cause of oHense to women, and, while it
has probably never really prevented Il
wedding, there is no doubt but what it is,
Il stumbling block on the way to the al
tar.
Practical women object to it on the
score that it is nothing short OF perjury
10 swear to do Il thing you have no in
tenti0n of doing; advanced ladies pro-
test against it as relic of wOman's sub
serviency to man, while all that the most
sentimental can say III its favor is that
it sounds well and means nottingham
it Is Il campaign promise that nobody eN-
poets to be kept.
In reality, in these days, when not in
frequently we see the big, strong, ath-
letic bride towering above her puny and
delicate-looking bridegroom, and when
there are more girls going to college
and getting good educations than boys,
there Is something ridiculous in making
woman promise to obey the man she
could chastise in n physical contest, or
SILENCE IN two minutes i'll an argument.
Still men cling to the word obey as
visible token of their authority. Ey-
cry man starts out with the belief that
he IS going to be the head of the fam
lily, and that his wife is going to meeky
do his bidding. though subsequent pro-
CeedlngS, i'll the majority Of American
homes, where the wife is undisputed
boss. must make the husband wonder if
he didn get the wrong end of the ritual.
\ pretty and taCtful way out of
this difficulty of the marriage ceremony
was suggested last week by Il New York
bride, who substituted the word yield
for obey and thereby not only assert
ed her right to equality with her hus-
band, but, as our Chinese friends would
say, saved his face" She recognized
his authority, but it was the authority
of love, not law, and to the feminine
mind there is wide difference between
dong thing because you want to and
because yon. have to.
1t has taken the world long time
to struggle up to realization that q
happy marriage is not based on slavery,
but freedom. and that the ideal wife is
not patient Griseda, but the woman who
IS capable of being a mans chum and
companion. The most misery breeding
idea ever advanced is the head-of-the
house theory. No man has right to
rule his wife any more than she has to
rule hun. If Il woman hasn't honesty
enough to be trusted with her husbands
purse, If she hasn't discretion enough to
be the conhdant of his business secrets.
II she haSnt sense enough to know what
to do without being hidden like a child,
she is no more fit to marry than mush
pOultlce, and any man will save himself
trouble by leaving such characteress
creature alone.
OF course, no two persons think exact
~ alike. In the family, as in a bust
ness partnership, one or the other must
frequently give way in the interests of
harmony Here is where the wife can
weld gracefully. whereas if she had to
obey she would get her back up and fight
to the last ditch.
Nor need men object to this innova-
ton in the marriage ceremony. Every
man must have felt a secret contempt for
q wife so poor spirited she obeyed him.
mp her wishes to him and to sacrifice her
tastes for him because she loves him and
admires his superior Judgment. is a
standing compliment on the hearthstone
that will make matrimony Il glad. sweet
Philadelphia Bulletin.