The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1902-08-20
A Funny Story.
A monolosue artis. once told .hi

a m0nologue artist once told this
one:
Mr. Bangle didn't want to go to the
ball.
"Great spoons, Etheldine!" he ex-i
claimed after an argument with his
wife Ga the subject. "Is's out Of the
question. I haven't been to ball in
years."
But you will go just to please
your wifey, DEAR" she persisted.
I'm crazy about tho tall. just this
one time" and she completed his sub
jugation with pleading kiss.
"I'll co. Mr.. Bungle reluctantly
consented. "But it's the last time,
remember. I know I've outgrown my
evening suit" he added as q forlorn
hope.
"Oh. never mind about that" his
wife cheerfully RESPONDED. "That's
q small matter. We can make it fit,
I'm sure. I'll get it out this after
noon and have it pressed up nicely
and the creases put in she legs. Never
you mind about the evening suit"
IA small matter, eh. - soliloquized
Dir. Bungle as she left the room.
"Yes, l guess she's about right on
that score. It's much 200 email, I
fear
The evening suit was little pre-.
vious, as matter Of fact. Mr.. Bun
gle got red in the face when he tried to
button it about his rotund figure that
night. It fitted he to perfection when
he was married in it, but years had
passed since then, and he had taken on
several or more degrees Of what our
French neighbors would term embon-
point. Nevertheless, he managed to
get into it, and also managed, after
divers efforts, to walk without swear
ing aloud at each step.
| Mrs. Bupgle went into the spirit of
the ball very much after the fashion
Of an experienced swimmer who goes
in for the FIRST dive Of the season. She
lost Mr. Bungle almost at the first quar-
ter. He didn't mind that. In fact,
he was rather glad. That tight even
ing suit, etc., eto. He was soon COM
fortably upright against the wall
where he had no occasion to move
about, and he was content to stand
there and watch the rhythmic whirl
of the dancers as they glided by him.
OCCASIONALLY he caught glimpSes Of
Mrs. Bungle as she foated gaily in
the mazes of the dance. She would
toss him reassuring nod or wave her
hand at him when she saw him fol-
lowing her wistfully with his eyes as
if he wanted 20 go home, but gener-
ously refrained from saying 80. He
was pleased when he saw her un-
mistakable enjoyment IF the occa-
sion, and he bore his martyrdom with
as brave an air as he could muster.
"Come, have smoke on the veran-
da, Bungle, friend suggested after
an interval Of promenading by the
dancers. lawfully hot in here, you
know. Let's get out"
"Sure I will" said Mr.. Bungle,
readily. II should say it is hot in
here. I'm perspiring now, and I
haven't moved three steps since
came.'
| He reached in his pistol pocket for
his handkerchief. It fell to the floor
as he attempted to draw it forth. His
friend made as if to pick it up. So
did Bungle. He got in great hurry
when he saw his friend about to reach
the handkerchief, and he nude quick
dive for it. He was sorry an instant
later.
There was ri-i-i-p.p-p as he stoop-
ed and he knew tie worst had happen-
ed. Pale and trembling he straight
ened up against the wall again, forget
ting in his agitation to mob the por-
spiration from his face.
CT believe 1 won't go on the YER
| Snu2n, attef e1, oId man, ne explain
ed to his startled friend. II see my
wife motionipg for me and I must find
out what she wants.''
In truth Mrs. Bungle was making
frantic efforts at the other side Of the
ballroom to attract Mr.. Bungle's 8
attention. Evidently she had an ac-
| quaintance she wished to introduce.
But Mr.. Bungie didn't care to meet
anyone just then. His reply to her
signals was series of distress signals
of Bis own. Finally che came over to
him. He leaned over in order that
his words should reach no ears but
hers.
cts happened" he whispered.
| And she knew the rest from the look