davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
BRIGHT BITS.

Lady Ito bird fancier)-''I must get
you to change that parrot, Mr.. Chick
weed I've only had him a week, but
quite half dozen times he has shock
ed my visitors with his horrible Ian
guage!" Bird Fancier-"I thought you
wanted one that was quick to learn,
ma'am!''-Punch.
LADY, have made inquiries at
your last place, and your former mis-
tress doesn't speak very fatteringly of
you" Applicant-"No, L don't sup
pose she thinks any more of me than
1 do of her; but hope I'm lady enough
to keep my opinion of her to myself. -
Boston Transcript.
What soulful eyes you have!" she
said to the innocent youth. Have I?''
he smilingly asked. YES" she muir
INJURED, in her gushing way. "Espe-
cially the left one. l could look into
it's liquid depths for hours" Il might
leave it with you over Sunday" said
the youth. Its glass. Tit Bits.
Generosity Mamma (to Edith,
who has been spending the afternoon
with little friend and has brought
home very pretty toy)-"Wasn't it
sweet of Dorothy, dearest? Now, when
she comes to see you can't you give her
something?" Edith (eagerly)-"Oh
yes, mamma; I'll give her baby's doll. -
-RrOOElVn Life.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
Only Partly Right.

A unique figure at Palm Beach is
Alligator joe" who is we'll known to
all visitors to that part of Florida,
says Town and Country. He is a ia
nous hunter. and his uncouth hut
picturesque personality and his jovial
and exciting stories of adventure have
made him a celebrated character.
Among the guests of the Royal
Poinciana there is no more enthusi-
astic fisherman than Mr.. Joseph JEFF
ferson, who annually fees from the
rigors of our New York climate to
spend the winter months in Southern
Florida. 1t is related that one day
when he was basking in the sunshine
on the end of the pier extending out
in the lake in front of the great hotel
a newly arrived visitor from the North.
a woman, who was evidently unfa-
miliar with this part of Florida and its
associations, approached and began to
examine the solitary fisherman with
great attention. Mr.. Jefferson, intent
upon his fishing, paid no attention to
her, and after a pause she went UP
to him and said:
Excuse me, but are you Alligator
Joe p
Mr.. Jefferson looked up and his eyes
twinkled.
4 confess to the Joe madam" he
said, but l deny the Alligator
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
PERSONAL.

Joe King, aged %, who has spent
twelve years in Jail, writes to the Ana
mosa Qa) Prison Press that crime is
not profitable. The article he stole had
a value of S67 and in his twelve years
of Imprisonment he could have made
$16,S00 at the trade of a printer.
Clarence A. Black. a Detroit mill
lionaire, has been setting a good ex-
ample to other rich men by serving
for several days as juror in a justice
court where nearly all the cases are
those of petty quarrels between indi-
viduals and the police. Many other
capitalists have been called for such
service, but all escaped the duty on one
plea or another. Mr.. Black made no
effort to. evade the task, saying it is
the duty of all good citizens to take a
turn in the jury box.
The engagement of Princess Alice
Mary of Albany to the Grand Duke of
-Weimar and Eisenach is report
ed from The Hague. Princess Alice is
the daughter of the Duke of Albany,
Queen Victoria's fourth son. She is 10
years OLD. The Grand Duke is one of
the richest men in Europe. He de-
rives an immense income from estates
in Holland and Silesia and inherited a
fortune estimated st~$2O, 900, 600 from his
grandmother. He was born in 1876.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
MetaphYsical.

The following dialogue is reported by
the Chicago Tribune:
IF a building is destroyed by fire
is it the fire or the building that
burns?"
THE fire, 1 suppose"
What then does the building do?"
well, it burns. of course"
What does the fire burn?'
ut burns the building"
Then if the fire burns the building
how can the building be said to burn %
| 1T burns down, doesn't it?'
Didn't you Say a moment ago that
it was the fire that burned?"
Yes"
Then, how can the fire and the
| building both burn?"
| why, when building is on fire
| How can a building be on fire? Isn't
| it always fire that's on a building?"
That is what / mean, of course"
But isn't fire sometimes in a build
ing?"
Eyes, of course"
''Then why did you say it was al
ways on a building?"
ct thought that was what you said"
ION the contrary. 1 was trying to
find out what you thought. Now, if it
is the fire that burns the building can
the building really be said to be doing
anything"
"N-no, 1 suppose not"
Then the building doesn't really
burn. does it?'
mo"
"It simply can't be doing anything,
can it?"
II suppose not"
Then if the building doesn't burn. OF
course, it is because it can't burn, is il
not?'
Eyes; that seems reasonable"
But if a building doesn't burn and
can't burn how can it be destroyed by
fire?"
II don't know. That makes my
| head ache"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
OUTLOOK FOR THE PEACH CROP.

| OtILOOh FOh THE HEANh NhOI-.
Peach growers are talking hopefully
/ about the damage done TO peach buds
! by the recent cold weather. but it is
| evident that it is impossible to say
with much accuracy how great it is.
! According to the dispatches. the dam
age in some localities is very slight,
while in others it is greater than the
growers like to admit, even to them
selves. The reports from the expert
ment station are of a reassuring char
acter-that is, they hold out the hope
of a fair crop. OF some varieties the
per cent. of the buds killed is COM
paratively small, while of others it is
large. Director Redding reports, after
a careful examination, that of the
Sneed variety only 20 per cent of the
buds are killed, of the Waddell s per
cent, while of the Carman and Mat
thews' Beauty the damage amounts to
fully IS per cent. The chief peach is
the liberia. and it is estimated that it
has been damaged 40 per cent. Director
Redding, in speaking of this variety,
says that the damage may be greater
than that.
1t will be found probably that the
damage is greater than has been esti-
mated when the reports are all in. it
is sincerely to be hoped. however, that
it isn't. If the damage is not greater
than so per cent. there are still enough
buds to make a good average crop, and
the fruit will be much larger and finer
than if no damage had been done by
the cold. When the trees are over
loaded it is practically impossible for
all of the fruit to be of high grade.
Indeed, the growers who understand
their business relieve the trees of a
portion of their burden before the
peaches are very far advanced.
If the cold weather has done only TO
a little greater extent what the grow
ers would have done later-that is, re-
lieved the trees of a portion of their
burden-no great harm has been done.
1t is little too soon. however, to form
a correct opinion as to the extent of
the damage.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
Picture Influenced Choice.

1t is an interesting fact that a pho
tograph of Col. Lamont on Mr.. Cleve
lands mantelpiece in New York led
to the selection of that gentleman as
ond administration.
AS the story goes, Senator German
was summoned from Washington to
New York to confer with Mr.. Cleve-
land after the latter's election. In the
course of the conversation, Mr.. Cleve-
land asked Mr.. German to make some
suggestions as to cabinet officers. Mr.
German naturally demurred. II was
against your nomination he said to
Mr.. Cleveland, land so I think that
you ought to consult with the men
who stood by you. 1 certainly have no
one to recommend"
The conversation drifted to other
topics, but after a while Mr.. CleVe-
land came back to the cabinet places
Mr.. German was then walking up and
down the room. 1t was o'clock in the
morning.
"If l was to be President of the
United States said Mr.. German fin
ally, II would put that man in my
cabinet AS he spoke Mr.. German
pointed to the picture of Col. Lamont
which was on the mantelpiece.
Mr. Cleveland laughed, 81 never
thought of that he said. AS Mr.. Cor
man insisted it would be wise choice,
Mr.. Cleveland smiled.
Two days afterward Col Lamont
was offered and accepted the portfolio
of the War Department
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Nashville (Tenn) American
(Dem) says: Col Bryan has made a
mistake in Professionally indorsing the
Crumpacker resolution which he will
probably endeavor to remedy or COR
rect, His discreet silence in the past
has not served to wholly conceal his
real views on the franchise question in
the South. which has so Loyalty sup
ported him, If they may be fairly
judged or estimated by his general eX-
pressions and teachings"
The Memphis Commercial-AppeaI
CDem.) says: And so the ship sub
sidy bill will not benefit the American
workers or seamen; it will not benefit
American shippers, for it may result in
increased rates; 1t will not give Ameri-
can-built ships any advantage over
foreign built ships; it will not distrib-
ute the peoples money among the peo-
pie, but hand it over to the corpora
tions 1t is a bare-faced robbery of the
people for the benefit of a single line of
business controlled by a small bunch of
millionaires. And no sort of sophistry
or special pleading can make it any
thing else
Discussing the ship subsidy bill, the
Cincinnati Enquirer (Dem.) says: Sen
ator Hanna, the practical leader of the
Republican party in the United States.
and man widely considered as one
who is entitled to the Republican NOM
nation for President in 1904 has been
the patient and persistent advocate of
this bill, and if it passes the House of
Representatives and receives the sigma
ture of the President Mr.. Hanna will
be scarcely less responsible than Mr..
Frye for placing it on the statute
books. In opposing the measure the
Democratic senators have been true to
time-honored party tenet-opposition
to subsidies. They have crossed swords
with the commanders of the opposi-
ton, and the subject may become large
enough to cut a tremendous figure in
the campaign for Congress this year
and in the great fight for the pres-
dency in 1904. In a presidential cam
paign one great question is usually Sc
lected to make the main fight over; or,
if it is not specially signified by one
or both of the conventions, it gets to
the front by the current of affairs.
There is no danger that there will not
be plenty of side issues. The Republi-
can leaders in Congress are making
them Enthusiastically
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22

1t seems the Sultan refuses emphati-
cally the demand of our government
for the repayment of the money paid to
the brigands as ransom for Miss Stone
and her companion, Mime. Tsilka. The
amount was $72,500. The refusal is
not at all surprising. 1t will be re-
called that the Sultan refused to pay
the money claimed by American mis-
sionaries for the destruction of some
Of their buildings located in Turkish
territory, but he was finally persuaded
that it would be to his interest to pay
it. He is having a warship built in
the shipyard of the Cramps at Phila-
delphia, and when he pays for it he
will pay the amount due the mission
aries.
1t is the understanding that our gov
eminent will not insist upon immediate
payment of the money exacted by the
brigands, Notwithstanding the fact that
Miss Stone was kidnapped on Turkish
soil and was released within the juris-
diction of the Sultan. We ought not
to feel unkindly towards the Sultan,
however, for refusing to repay the ran
som. 1t is probable that we should
not be very prompt in paying the Turk
ish government money stolen from one
of its subjects by band of train rob-
bers in this country.
We suffer about as much from train
robbers as people in Turkey suffer from
brigands. We complain of course of
the brigands, and say that Turkey
ought to hunt them down and put
stop to brigandage, but why is it that
we do not put stop to train rob-
bling? 1t may be that Turkey does
the best she can to protect travellers
within her borders against brigands.
But whether she does or not, she sue
ceeds about as we'll in SURPRISING
brigandage as we do in protecting trav-
elers, express companies and our mails
against train robbers. We have not
much room for criticising Turkey for
not putting down brigandage. We are
quicker to see the shortcomings of
other countries than our own.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
MILES TROUBLES.

Indications are cropping out all the
time that there is not the most cordial
feeling between the President and Gen.
Miles. And it would not be surprising
if the Secretary of War would be more
pleased than otherwise if Gen. Miles
We're to resign.
| 1t was announced in our dispatches
yesterday that Gen. Miles said that
/ he would resign if Congress were to
pass the new army bill in it's present
shape. He claims that the bill de-
prives him of a great deal of the power
he now has. On the other hand the
Secretary of War is quoted as saying
that it gives him greater authority. 1t
is difficult to see how there could be
such wide difference of opinion about
the meaning Of the bill. 1t may be that
in some particulars it does increase the
authority of the commanding officer
of the army, but in other and more
important respects it deprives him of
power. For instance, Gen. Miles says
that under the provisions of the pend
ing bill he could not give an important
order without consulting with a num-
Der of officers-that the one man power
SO necessary to the successful handling
of an army would be eliminated.
1t seems that both the President and
the Secretary of War are annoyed be-
cause the main points of the plan
which Gen. Miles submitted to them
for the pacification of the Philippines
became public. They did not want
anything said about the matter. though
why they did not is not known. 1t is
not said that they think that Gen.
Miles made the plan public. But it is
likely they do not feel very kindly
towards him for intimating they need
advice and assistance in the effort to
pacify the Philippines. His plan was
such an intimation.
Gen. Miles was a thorn in the side
of the War Department when Gen.
Alger was Secretary, and he appears
to give Secretary Root as much an
noyance as he gave Gen. Alger. 1t is
limited that the President may retire
him. 1t seems he has authority to re-
tire an officer of the army who has
reached the age of sixty-two. though
the statutory retiring age is sixty-four.
Gen. Miles was sixty-two last Au-
gust. He will therefore reach the re-
firing age in August, 1903 1t is hardly
probable that the President will exer-
else his prerogative of retiring him.
Gen. Miles has a great many friends
and it would be unpopular to do so,
even if there were not other reasons
against such a course.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Special NOTES.-THE Best Vegetables,
at Gardner's: Grape Fruit, ETC., at
Joyce's.
Business Notices-Coffees. A. NJ. &
c. w. West: Mineral Water and Malt
Murine. at MINISTER'S: Delicacies for
Dinner. The s. w. Branch Company.
Financial-One Hundred and Eight
zenith Anniversary, Bank of New York.
Auction Sales-Household and Kitch-
en- Furniture, by 1. D. LaRoche, Auc-
tioneer.
Steamship SchedtIe-M Merchants and
Miners Transport ation Company s
Steamers.
It's Hard to Tell-B. H. Levy &
Bro.
Special To-day-At Eckstein's.
Amusements-"Tw Orphans" at To-
days Matinee and "A Lawyers We'd
ding" at Theater Tonight.
Watches-Waltham Watches.
Pens-Esterbrook Pens.
Smart Spring Apparel for Men-Leo-
pold Adler.
Postum Food Coffee-Postum Cereal
Company.
Grape Nuts Breakfast Food-Postum
Cereal Company.
Baking Powder-Royal Baking Pow
der.
Anheuser-B Busch Brewing Associa ton.
Medical-Blood Wine; Lydia Pink
hams Vegetable Pills; Alligator Lini-
ment: Kalola; Paine's Celery Com
pound; DR.. Hathaway Company;
Stuart's Catarrh Tablets; TUFTS Pills;
Cheeseman's Specific Mixture: British
Medical Institute.
Cheap Column Advertisements
Help Wanted; Employment Wanted;
For Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal;
Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
PARLIAMENTARY LANGUAGE,

There are a great many words and
phrases in the English language by
means of which one person may tell
another that the party of the first part
is well assured that the party of the
second has made a statement charac-
terized by a lack of truthfulness.
When such assertion of want of verify
is to be made on the floor of a high
legislative body, it becomes a matter
of much Importance how the state
ment shall be framed There is par
liamentary language and unparlia-
mentary language in which one may
be called a prevaricator, but the line
of demarkation between the two is
sometimes nebulous We have had
some illustrations lately.
In the Senate of the United States
recently the Junior senator from South
Carolina characterized a certain state
ment made by the senior senator from
the same state as a "wilful, deliberate
and malicious lie" What followed the
world knows. The language was con-
sidered to be supplementary, as was
piled to, to the extent that the Senate
passed censure upon both of the prin-
cipals to the incident. On the day fol-
lowing the Tillman- McLaurin eruption,
Senator Wellington of Maryland ex-
pressed pretty much the same idea
with respect to statement by Senator
McComas, softening the expression,
were outside this chamber he said,
q would tell him that his statement
was wilfully, deliberately and mali
ciously false" What a world of signi-
ficance there is in an eff" In this in
stance it enabled the gentleman from
Maryland to express his opinion of his
confrere is red-hot and yet strictly
parliamentary language. The language
must have been parliamentary, since
he was not called to account for it.
Several similar instances have oc-
CURED recently in the British House of
Commons. John Dillon called Mr.
Chamberlain a Did liar and was
quickly suspended by an outraged as
sembly. Yet only a few days previous
ly Lord Stanley had declared that a
statement made by Mr.. McKenna was
totally and maiciously false" without
mourning any rebuke. The failure to
call Lord Stanley to account seems all
the more queer when it is known that
later, during the same debate, Sir
Henry Campbell Bannarman was ruled
and required to apologize for enter
ing 1.-The most complete and circum-
stantial denial to every word the hon
orable gentleman has said" This last
recounted incident makes it clear that
/ it is not always the word "lie" that is
Objectionable. Sir Henry's words were
almost smooth enough to butter a
parsnip, yet they caused commotion
and uproar. From all this there seems
| to be the need for parliamentarians to
| get together and frame some standard
! by which one legislator may call
another falsifier in language that will
not get the denouncer in trouble with
! the House.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22

Catarrh Tablets the new catarrb o,,,.
has met with such success that tod,
it can be found in every drug stor
throughout the United States and Can
ada.
To be sure a large amount of adver-
Using was necessary in the first in
stance to bring the remedy to the ar
tention of the public, but everyone 70.
miliar with the subject knows that 3D.
vertising alone never made any articIo
permanently successful. 1t must bo,,o
in addition absolute, undeniable merit
and this the new catarrh cure certairl,,
possesses in marked degree.
Physicians, who formerly deuendod
upon inhalers, sprays and local washes
or ointments, now use Stuart's Catarrb
Tablets because, as one of the most
prominent stated, these tablets contain
in pleasant, convenient form all the
really efficient catarrh remedies. sucb
as red gum, blood root and similar an
tiseptics.
They contain no cocaine nor opiate
and are given to little children with en-
tire safety and benefit
DR.. ]. ]. Reitiger, of Covington. XIV
says: II suffered from catarrh in nv
head and throat every fall. with ston.
page of the nose and irritation in the
throat affecting my voice and often ev.
tending to the stomach, causing catsrrb
of the stomach.
Il bought a fifty-cent package of
Stuart's Catarrh Tablets at nv drug.
gists, carried them in my pocket and
used them faithfully, and the wav in
which they cleared my head and throat
was certainly remarkable. | had no
catarrh last winter and spring and
consider myself entirely free from anv
catarrhal trouble"
Mr.. Jerome Ellison, of Wheeling. w.
Va, writes: II suffered from catarrh
nearly my whole life and last winter
my two children also suffered from ca
tarrhal colds and sore throat so much
they were out of school a large portion
of the winter My brother who was
cured of catarrhal deafness by using
StuaTtS Catarrh Tablets urged me to
try them so much that 1 did so, and am
truly thankful for what they have done
for myself I'D my children. | always
keep a box of the tablets in the house
and at the first appearance of a cold
or sore throat we nip it in the bud and
catarrh is no longer a household af-
Fiction with u.s."
Full sized packages of Stuart's Ca
tarrh Tablets are sold for fifty cents at
all druggists.
Send for book on cause and cure Of
catarrh mail, free. Address F. A.
Stuart Co., Marshall Mich.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22
THE MORNING NEWS is nnhlish.

IHE mOhNhN1 NEWS is published
every day in the year, and served tc
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail
at 20 cents a month. $500 for six
months, and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
times a week without Sunday issue,
three months, S1.5o; six months, $500;
one year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (BIonday and Thursday. by mail,
one year, S1.00.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading no.
tees, amusements and cheap or want
column. 10 cents a line. Fourteen lines
of agate type-equal to one inch in
depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 21O. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner, Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22

Gen. Otis admitted that he had mod
flied President McKinley's proclama-
ton to the Filipinos in important par
ticulars before making it public in the
islands. At first glance it would seem
that was a very serious thing to do.
Gen. Otis could hardly have under
stood perfectly what programme the
administration had in mind when the
proclamation was prepared, and his
notifications might have seriously
embarrassed the administration in its
purposes. Still, Gen. Otis was on the
ground in the Philippines and under
stood the situation there possibly bet
ter than it was understood in Wash
irgtOn. That the Washington author
tiles did not attach great Importance
to the changes he made is evidenced
by the fact that he was not repri-
manded or otherwise called to account
for taking liberties with the text
Of the proclamation.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22

And so King Edward takes snuff be-
fore the dessert, That innovation at
table will, of course. have to be taken
up by all the ultra-swells who hope
to be considered the real thing. The
revival by Edward Of the ancient and
obsolete snuff taking habit is proba-
bly, a good stroke of politics. The
more of ancient and obsolete habits
and customs he can revive, the better
Il viii be for his job. The king bust
ness does not fit in snugly with ad-
vanced ana enlightened ideas of civili-
zation.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-22

One would hardly expect to hear of a
challenge to mortal combat in cold
blooded New Jersey, the home of trusts
and other soulless corporations; yet in
Middletown the other day a hotel guest
who was not pleased with the cooking
and the bed given him by the estab-
lishment challenged the clerk to fight a
duel for satisfaction. 1t is not hard to
believe, by The way, that New Jer-
sey hotel is enough to drive a man to
do desperate things.