The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1902-04-11
Che Aerala and 0eH3s
UNCLE WASH'S
ARRAIGNMENT.
TIE OLD TIME DARKEY ARRESTED
.FOR SELLING WHISKEY.
He Pleads His Own Case, Conyinces the
Jury and Captivates the Judge.

He Pleads His Own Case, Convinces the
jury and Captivates the Judge.
81 amt nuvver tole you bout de
time dey had me up befo' de Judge
at Atlantur fur maxim widcut IL
cense or little Nv dat lcker dat makes
kings NV US all?" asked Uncle Wash
the other day. 81 don't know how
in de worl dey cotch me-" continued
the old darkey, ''fur I'd bin maxim
it ever since de war upin de holler
at de Indian Camp Springs whar de
Indian made it long ago befo' emmy
of US wuz born-jes' fo' or five gal
Ions ter keep de ole mans COW catcher
gwine," he continued, ''an' I don't
see how in de wurl desc heah river
new officers foun' it out. But dey
did an fur one time de ole man was
sho'in tight place.
"You see," he continued, ut amt
everybody who kno's how to make
good whiskey. I don't mean dis
hear stuff what de po' white trash
makes upin de mountaings so strong
and vile, dat when you oncork a bot
tie of 1t on dis yesrth it make de
debbil sneeze il de reguns below.
But Pm talkin' about sho' 'nuff
whiskey-whiskey dat sho' 'nuff
Whitefolks drink-so puore and ripe
dat all you hsf er do is oncork de
stopper on dis yearth and watch de
roses bloom in paradise.
"You must make it in October" he
said, knowingly, "erbout de time de
fall poet begins to write his poem on
de golden rod, when de leabs begins
to turn purple an golden an de air
am crisp an sparkling, an de spring
water am full OBJ falling nuts an de
'romer ob DE sweet dews. You mus
kotch yore water frum outen a col
spring dat flows frum under some
sweet paw paw tree runnin' ober q
bed rock OBJ blue limestone in which
q few acuns done drapt to give it de
ssreuf OBJ de oak tree. Den sum
night when de moon am full and de
sent ob de wild haws ill all de air,
jes go out-but dar now," he said
laughingly, ''whut's all dat gotter do
wild dis story. Neber min,' jes you
come roun' to my cabin sum day chile
an lemme let you taste it onct. It's
den you'll see the gates Oh glory
open fur minute or two, and de lad
der of konsolsshum run up and down
twixt de heaben and de yearth. 0,
its den you'll wish yore neck wus er
spiral pipe runnin' roun' and roun'
so dat one drink would halter 60
fifty miles befo' it got outer sight"
and the old man laughed heartily.
"But dey kotch me-" he continued,
SAND dey tuck me to Atlantur and
when dey put me in de prison folks
all got 'roun' me an cried an tole
me good bye an my wife she took it
pow'ful hard an she wanted to 60
an git de preacher to come and pray
fur me. Oats the way wild sum KRIS
tuns," said the old man with tinge
of sarcasm in his voice, ''dey Willin'
ernuff to play hide an seek wild de
debbil long as dey think dem am safe
but jes as soon es dey gifts kotched
up WIG den dey WanCer go III paro-
nership wild de Lord. Huh! dey
didn't skert me tall an jes say to
me wife look heah Dinsh you jes
stop your wailin' an belloWin' an 60
on home an eff I aint dar by cane
grinding time you jes 60 on an mar
ry Brer Peter Dawson, de preacher,
an on de night oh yore weddin' sup
per you jes 60 down to de medder
spring dig fo' foot under it and fetch
out dat blue demmejohn OBJ bred-in-
the purple ticker I berried dar fo'-
teen years ergo, an you an Brer Pc