The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-08-08
SPINNING II d! e WHEEL Il

anu went a hummin up the rail,
which soon begun TO buz!
But When that Lightning reached the place
Where all the Cars Turnt round,
1t tried to step off the rail
and git into the Ground.
but, no sir! that Trick wouldn't work
The Track it Helt him Down.
and so he started Back agin-
bout 'lcycn miles to Town.
he Found it was the Same thing there,
and then he Spit and Cried,
But Motormens they made him wolk,
though he tried Hard to hide;
they've named him E-lcc-trix.ity,
they've got him by the Tail
and I'll bet you he's Sorry that
he Ever Struck that Rail!
Cincinnati Commercial Tribute.
The following anecdote is from 1.-The
Biography of a Prairie Girl in the
Century. The writer, Eleanor Gates,
has been describing the differences OF
opinion in Dakota farmers household
as to the choice OF a name for a child
differences which have delayed the chris
tening for several months, and which
the army chaplain had made the subject
Of his evening prayer on his visit to the
farm:
When the chaplain stopped on his re-
turn trip, he found that the christening
was still agitating the farm house, the
big brothers having formed triple ALI
ance in favor of Elizabeth, while the
little girls mother was adhering more
warmly than ever to Victoria. So he
spent the evening in renewed argument
and prayer, and offered Catherine as a
compromise. But the little girls mother
attached no importance to his SuggeS-
ton, knowing that Catherine was the
name of his wife.
Before starting for the reservation IN
the morning, as he sat upon his pony
with the family in a circle about him, he
communicated nota BILE piece of news.
Some time during June Of the coming
year the good bishop, who was greatly
beloved by the Indians, would visit the
the major. The wedding would take
place in the sod church, and would be
followed by sermon.
And then, added the chaplain,
'could come the BAPTISM
The little girls mother was delighted
with the idea, and decided on the spot to
delay the baptism until June. The ad-
ministering Of the rite by the good bish-
op would give it a certain pomp, while
his presence would insure the attend
ance of every woman on the plains, and
parade and admiration.
The chaplain, satisfied at having ac-
complished even so little for peace, can
tered off, the family looking after him.
But when he reached the reservation
road he came to a sudden halt, wheeled
sharply, and raised his hands to his face
to make a funnel of them. All fell into
silence and listened for his parting ad-
monition.
Make it Catherine" he shouted, and
Bankruptcy stures me in the face" he
groaned
And there is no hope:" asked the sym
pathetic friend.
Just one" replied the unfortunate
man, land yet my father often told me
But this is the bitter end. I am going
out to mortgage my Panama hat!'-New
York Sun.
The Coloners Advice.-Tug Wilson
tells good story about al eX-Kentucky
colonel Of the Equality Folk sort. whom
he once met in Western Kansas. The
colonel was an enthusiast on the irriga-
ton scheme that was sweeping over
Kansas Mt that time. He was so posi-
tive in his theories and so high tempered
that few people cared to disagree with
him. One day. as he was standing in
front Of the office, talking with several
Snake creek, come along, and, after
shaking hands around, turned to the
colonel and said. Colonel, I've got forty
acres of land lying close to Snake creek
that l want to irrigate, and l would like
to ask, your advice about it. Very
vice is: dam the creek. I did do that,
said Pink: and cut a ditch down across
the land, but I couldn't get rise enough.
Then | would dam the ditch sah,' re-
Piled the colonel; That's just what
did do, said Pink, but the hogs rooted
about that?' What would do:' snort.
ed the colonel: L would damn the hogs
sab! would damn the hogsv '-Ozark
Mountain News.
With the mercury registering where il
does this weather would be endurahle il
things came round as this Georgia singer
suggests:
The country'd still
Be feelin' prime,
If the ice man
Just came in on time.
Atlanta Constitution.
Prof. Bracket of Princeton was once
holding an oral examination in physics
The men before him had all failed once
and he was giving them second chance
One man seemed unable to answer cor.
rectly single question, and as he was a
senior, about to he graduated if he passed
this examination, the professor felt sorry
for him.
perhaps some of you would like tc
ask mo few questions in physics he
said. "Questions often evince as much
knowledge of the subject as answers re.
veal"
There was silence for moment, anG
then the senior spoke up
I'D like to ask question, professor
All" returned the professor, plainly
showing his relief and pleasure "Wha1
Is the Cuestion?'
Are we through, sir:'-New Yorl
Times.
Mrs. Benham-Half the world doesn'
know how the other half lives.
Benham-Then half the world must bt
unmarried men.
Mrs. Renham n J. makes You, thinll
Benham-If they were married 'me1
their wives would find out and tell them
-RrOOl.lyn