The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-10-12

not strong enough to stand a thirty
two-inch waist measure. 1t is pa
thetic and significant fact that all
the physical culture and banting class
es I ever saw were composed eX-
clusively of married Women. The. old
maids, having no one but themselves to
please in appearance, took fat or SeraW-
niness as heaven sent them, with an
even mind, and made no efforts to con-
form to anybody's standard OF pull
chritude.
another Of our nisfortunes that we
may fairly lay at our brothers. door
is the awful burden of dress. Of
course women deny that they dress to
please men. That is all right. Every
one has a right to her trade secrets,
but if women don't dress to please men
if they don't paint because men adj
mire roses on a woman's cheek, if they
don't lace because men are hOpelessly
and irretrievably committed to the
hour glass figure, if they don't pinch
their feet and wear high heels because
for 5000 years men have sung and
glorified little feet, will somebody kind
ly arise and explain the phenomenon
why the minute women are alone and
safe from masculine eyes they get out
of their stays with gasp of relief and
into kimonas and f1ip-fop slippers?
Blame the Men.
ssI maintain that it is because of man,
and man alone, tlaatsNonlan is the VIC
tim of fashions that sserfb, cabin and
confne.' Who invented the uncompro-
missing, skin tight tailor made? "A man
-Redfern. Who devised sswathing, eel
like draperies that demand a figure
as tall as a telegraph pole and as slim
as fishing rod? Another man
Worth. In what countries do the wom
en- luXuriate in loose, Mother Hubbard
like garments? In those Oriental ones
where there are no men milliners and
mantaumakers. Furthermore, beloved,
what forces us to wear these uncom-
Portable denominations that bind and
squeeze and choke? Again I say man,
for no matter how men may deride our
idiocy and inveigh against our want
of sense in dress it does not escape
the silliest of us that it is the woman
with the SlimmeSt waist and the high
-heeled slippers and the most mod
ish frock who gets the most attention
from the opposite sex. Theoretically
man believes in rather rational dress,
but he would rather be dead than be
caught out with a female who person
ally Illustrated his opinions on the
subject.
'Of cooking it is scarcely necessary
to speak. Except for man the art Of
dining would perish} and the world
would be run on a tea and toast basis
and life would be robbed of it's chief
thorn-the servant girl question. 1t is
man who makes that a burning issue
wherever two or three women are gath
cred together, for it is for man that
woman pickles and jills and preserves
and makes herself a. burnt offering on
the kitchen stove"
AS Mr.. Ingersoll lwould say" said
Harry Ables, married life is narrow
veil between the peaks of two eternf-
ties. Those that have wives cry aloud
for help, but the only answer is the
echo of their walls.
Bachelor Has His Say.
"Give me a cigar, book, silence,
the knowledge that there are no eyes
looking at me when the night is cold
the room warm and the doors locked,
and I will venture the remark that
am superlatively happy. Women! All!
they are all right, God bless 'em, but
let 'em pursue the paths of righteous
ness and blessedness. A married wom-
an when dissatisfied is little less than
an insurrection. Last week I bought
a pipe. [ was told that it was gem
uine meerschaun. Before I had used
it an hour it fell apart. Now, a man
that can fool me on a pipe is daisy.
I've been smoking a long time. If
man can throw the bad goods into me
what could a woman do? Why, she
could make me look like a nickePs
worth Of lard. Therefore, am staying
away from them. Not that I dislike
them or that they annoy me or any
thing of that sort, but pray tell me