Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1902-01-20
A DOMESTIC COMEDY,
THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANo.
ING THE FURNITURE.

| brought trouble 10 the MnIe Con.
tinEent and sorrow to Herself.
do you change the position Of the
furniture when you clean room?'
inquired housewife No. of friend in
the course of a heart to heart talk.
! do l? Why, yes. indeed! l don't
feel as II the room Is cleaned unless l
change the furniture little bit. Do
your
"Well. usually change the orna-
ments around and SO forth. but in the
! spring and fall like to change every.
thiag in room-completely alter the
whole appearance of it. Then | fancy
! the things are all new. and they seem
to look prettier somehow. But. do you
know, my husband doesn't like it at
allv
Neither does mine! Isn't that singu-
lar? Men are so peculiar!'
Eyes, indeed they are!"
So many housekeepers share the
views Of these two that story with
! moral will not be out of place.
1t was the other night only that Mr..
Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to
bed at an unusually early hour. leaving
his wife reading in the sitting room.
He had headache and carried COB
let of water in his right hand. Fear
lessly advancing into the dark bed
room Mr.. Blank suddenly felt both legs
| violently cut from under him. He
clutched wildly at the air and said
several things of an explanatory ma.
ture, but there was nothing to save
him. He went down.
Good gracious, Henry!" CALCULATED
Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the scene of
disaster. "What is the matter?
Where are you? Why don't you light
the gas?" Suiting the action to the
word, she beheld her husband spra WI
Ing across the bed; the glass he had
carried had discharged its contents
across the pillowshams and shivered on
the floor.
Mr.. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that Of all
the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said 1t was a pretty thing for man to
walk into his own room and have to
fall over things in the dark He said
he wouldn't stand it,. the furniture
must be replaced where it formerly
stood.
II shan't do anything of the kind"
replied Mrs. Blank. ut looks very
much nicer where it is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when you
get into dark room?'
"S'pose you'd like me to crawl in on
all fours!" snarIed Mr.. Blank. II
couldn't feel where the bed was unless
I happened to touch the footboard.
thought could walk clear over to the
bureau. tell you it's COMPOUNDED
crank you have on this subject. Some
day you'll precipitate serious acct
dent"
"lf any one pre- cipitates. it'll be you,
l should think" retorted Mrs. Blank
icily. And the furniture remained
where it was.
1t was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry a pile of
schoolbooks from the dining room TO
the sitting room. He had bottle CT
ink in his hand, and he thought lie
knew exAct!y where the center table
was. In the course of his peregrina-
tons t.. search of it. however, he came
into violent collision with the glass
door of the bookcase. which he broke.
There were also inky traces discernible
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
in This time there was some balm for
her feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did 1t with the best will in
the world.
Her own downfall was not long In
coming. however although for few
days only minor Inconvenience were
met with. such as the abrasion Of an
kles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage of her pet parrot from the
window where it spends the day TO the
snug corner where it passes the night
She did not trouble to light the gas, and
she had forgotten the precise point at
which tabouret. on which stood a jar
diniere. was stationed. She charged |
into the tabouret with considerable |
force. was overbalanced by the weight |
Of the cage il, her arms and took
header with resounding crash The
parrot shrieked. and. unable to distin.
guish friend from foe. inflicted severe
bite OH her mistress finger Mr.. Blank
came in hurriedly. picked up his wife
and assisted In making an inventory Of
sundry Commissions. Then they lifted
the parrot cage. badly bent, and the
jardiniere with piece Clipped out of
It and the ta5ouret somewhat scratch
I'd, and then Mr. Blank observed quiet.
y:
"a have just one thing to ask you.
Mrs. Blank Was | right?"
NO. you were not!' retorted Mrs.
Blank savagely. "Serious accident!
What's serious about this. ] should like
l.o |