The Oskaloosa herald., 1902-04-10

And then he packed his satchel up
and chased himself away.
They met him at the depot when the
train pulled in at nine,
The first thing they gave him was a
hair cut and shine;
And when he saw the elevated cars
up over head,
His friends became uneasyand into
his ear they said:
Chorus
You're not in Oskaloosa now;
Forget about the western home,
Take off that red cravat, please re-
member where you're at
AS leisurely the city's streets you
roam.
Don't bow to every man you meet:
Don't rubber when you're on the
street.
We haven't started yet, take a tip
and don't forget,
You're not in Oskaloosa now.
They took him to a Restaurant, he
grabbed the bill of fare;
He couldn't read the French menu, so
he began to stare;
He said: Bring me pumpkin pie,
also a glass of milk;
B'gosh I'm going to blow myself;
I'm feeling fine as silk.
They all became excited when they
saw him use his knife,
Because they were afraid that he was
going to take his life.
The finger bowls were brought, he
asked, Who ordered lemonade?''
Twas then they took him out in
front and once again they said:
You're not in Oskaloosa now;
We told you once or twice before;
If you make another break, We'll ali
give you the shake;
So "cut it OUT orelse you'll make
us sore.
You're making monkeys of the
bunch,
We wish that you had brought your
lunch;
The limits up to you, so be care
full what you do,
You're not in Oskaloosa now.
They thought they'd try and lose him
when his appetite returned
They knew he wouldn't profit by the
lessons he had learned,
He saw a sign which read eve serve
a lunch from twelve to two"
So he sat down and said that he
would stay the limit through;
He ordered wine; then asked the brand
The waiter whispered "Mumm"
He said "You betl" Because / don't
want them to know at hum"
He put his napkin in his vest; for
got to take it out,
L L. ,A- ha
heard the cashier shout:
You're not in Oskaloosa now;
/ hope that you have had your fill;
A quarters not enough; you can't
ring in bluff
You'll be daffy when you see your
bill.
You've ate up all that's in the shop,
! thought that you would never stop,
A lunch from twelve to two"
doesn't mean it's all for you,
You're not in Oskaloosa now.
That evening at burlesque show they
tried to hide away
They didn't think in such place his
"Rubens'' would get gay.
And everything went very nice I'M
til gay Soubrette
Came on and sang a sassy" song;
then he began to fret
She begged of some one in the
house to give her a kiss
B'gosh!" said RUDE, here is a
chance I'm not going to miss"
He started for the stage, awhile the
audience did roar,
Twas then they rushed him out again
and told him as before:-
You're not in Oskaloosa now;
That lady is the leaders beau
She doesn't sing for fun; she war
bles for the mon"
And twas ICON" at you that she
did throw;
Now If we ramble down the street
Some pretty girls were sure to meet
II they wink, tits but bluff"
so try and be the "stuh"
You're not in Oskaloosa now.
well I'll be darned if I like this"
said Ruben in a hun"
when / start in to go for fun, you
always use me rough,
I'm going to hire a bed" and to a
big hotel. they went
Where Reuben said unto the clerk.
SAY Mister, what's the rent?"
Upon the register he saw Mr.. Jones
and wife
He wrote Rube Hayseed "and valise'
in letters as big as life.
The clerk he read the entry and be
smiled smiley smile.
And then his friends said Ruben
dear, remember for awhile"
You're not in Oskaloosa now
Instead you're in big hotel
Don't register the grip, or they'll
think you're OF your dip"
And don't to all the clerks your
troubles tell.
Now we must leave you for tonight;
Be sure and don't blow out the light