Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-09-04

~ rifle, and no smooth bore either
i Madam. was the reply. zone of this
family is going in for pnysical culture
4 Others of this family VIII also if exan-
1 lie and precept have any effect. The life
we modern men and women lead q re-
/ fer. Mrs. b., to those whose daily life
requires but little bodily eNercise) is
Sending us back towards degeneracy,
both mental aud physical. TO Illustrate:
My grandfather could lift a barrel of
~
S ? 5 ; :
| s. y
cider and drink from the bung hole.
NV grandson tires himself lifting
schooner OF beer. Your Grandmother.
Mrs. b.. could do the washing for a
family of ten and get three good ineais
for the family the same DAY. your
granddaughter has never done a wash
ing or got meal. And even now, at
this late hour, in this family there
going to be a change. If you're Win
me, come on and live to be great-Sreat-
grandmother. If not
do you wish me to follow you blind
ly?" said Mrs Weakness. Explain!
What's the program" (Now this attl-
tude of mind was suspicious and the
writer ought to have known it, 1t
wasn't a case of the bl::,d leading the
blind.) Mrs b." continued the speak
er. heres the program; this is what
we, you and I, will do, beginning to-
morrow. At a. m. we will don our
bathing suits. ("Speak everyday En-
elish if you wish me to listen, was the
interruption.) Then we will proceed to
the basement, where we will punch the
bag--( "What bag?" asked Mrs. B.; do
You call that foot ball a punching bag?
thought we We're to learn foot ball.O
Foot ball, madam, is only for students
with long hair. Please 10 not Interrupt
again. After striking the bag 1000 times
in eight minutes we Will have a cold
shower bath. C'Not on your life" was
the unexpected slang) There, Mrs. b.,
we will have a massage from male and
female attendants. (.Have you hired
them yet?" asked the interested female
gymnast) Then we will practice with
the Indian clubs for thirty minutes,
after which breakfast at = o'clock sharp
must be served. Listen to this strict bill
of fare. It's menu as we'll as me. Very
rare steaks, almost raw eggs AND moul-
Gy graham bread. This will be washed
down with stock ale. c'Order my
breakfast now" said tine enthusiastic
female. Seems as tho couldn't waltz
After breakfast we will take a twenty
mile spin on our wheels. Returning
promptly at 9, we will play croquet or
lawn tennis for one hour. Now We'll
excuse you to look after the dinner
while I run up to the Office and look
over the mail. At noon we will have an
dinner, limiting ourselves
to moderate allowances of sweets and |
pastry. At we will have a siesta,'
lasting till 2. ("Adopted unanimously"
81 a. 4 will
array ourselves in our golf suits and
take to the links. Between this time
and 5, madam, you will be expected to
cover fifteen miles This will not be
hard after you're used to it. Then at .
We'll have tea. Not q course dinner,
but tea-bread and butter. small piece
OF cake and perhaps little sauce. In
the evening we will invite our athletic
friends in and play ping-pong. You
will find madam, in that box $l2 set.
The rackets are fine, the balls superb.
| have also got a portable table. the
latest thing out. You can set it UP any
where Come to think of it, Well have
u game now. learned to play over to
the travelling mans house last night.
There never was such a game for phys
ical culture. 1t brings into play all of
The muscles of. the body. After playing
games last night I felt as
fresh as when we commenced. C'That's
where you We're till after midnight"
said Mrs. b Get that table out here
now in the library. Move those chairs
lack. Better set that Norris chair in
the hall. Now l serve. That's love
fifteen! ("What!" asked the good sis
teri. Get there, Eli! Madam, you'll
rover learn the game in thousand
years. Stand back from the table when
you serve. That's deuce-c'What!"
.aid the neophyte. My advantage
game! Now We'll play four-hand. Sera-
Thine. for gracious sake let go of the
eat! Thirty all. Hoop-la! That's a
daisy! Just as easy!." play anothero"
And an indignant. stout old lady
started towards the door, remarkng:
.Ping-pong! At last, Mr.. B., you've
struck your gait. Physical culture! I'll
ret you a rattle and some marbles to-
Also q new top and hoop to
oil Keep right on; play eighty-two
saines tonight. I'll massage your old
'rame in the morning. Wake me early
or the shower bath and mouldy graz
lam bread"
MynaL1z5