davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
SHREWD VICTOR HUGO.
The Quiet Way In Which He BuIIicd
the Theatrical Managers.

The Quiet Way In Which He BuIIicd
thc Theatrical Managers.
Here are the methods Which Dumas
the elder and Victor Hugo employed
when they had new play to offer to
the theater. Dumas would write to the
director Of the Porte St Martin:
My Dear Friend-I shall bring you on
Monday a play in five acts. l shall need
Mile. Georges, Nine. Dorval, Bocage,
Lockroy Provost and five new scenes.
This extravaganza would alarm the
director, who would put off the produc-
ton of the play till better days.
Then Victor Hugo would appear and
shyly draw manuscript out of his
pocket. He would agree to everything.
The stock company would play his
piece admirably, since all he wanted
was a good ensemble; no new decora-
tons would be needed nor any change
at all.
SO the piece would be read, and as
the roles were distributed Hugo would
say musinSly, ''Dieu, how fine Freder.
ick would be in that part" THAT is
true" Horel would murmur, and few
days after he would announce that
Frederick was engaged. Hugo would
then demonstrate that this destroyed
the equipose of the east and Raucourt
Laferriere and Mile. Georges would be
engaged. Then Hugo would attack the
stage setting. Old scenes, that the pub
lie had tired of, We're almost an insult
to these great artists. II Horel showed
reluctance at this, Hugo would threat
en- to withdraw his piece. And so the
game would go on, till. little by little
Hugo had obtained everything be
wanted, even to changing the paper
Eangings in the stage boxes.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
A Ludicrous word Twister.

Professor William Archibald Spoo-
ner of oxford university has become
famous as a ludicrous word twister.
Once at a special service, seeing some
women standing at the back of the
church waiting to be seated, he rushed
down the aisle and addressed the ush-
ers as follows. "Gentlemen, gentlemen,
sew these ladies into their sheets" Be
ing asked at dinner what fruit he
would have, he promptly replied. Pigs,
fieas." This is the way in which DR..
Spooner proposed to his wife: Being
one afternoon at the home of her ia
ther, Bishop Harvey Goodwin of Car
lisle, Mrs. Goodwin said, "Mr. Spoo-
ner, will you please go out into the
garden and ask Miss Goodwin If she
will come in and make tea?" The pro-
fessor. on finding the young lady. said,
Miss Goodwin. your mother told me
to ask you if you would come in and
take me-"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
PORTO RICO and CUBA.

The reports which Governor Hunt
sends from his satrapy of Porto Rico
are not merely favorable and encour-
aging of the condition of things on
that island; they are glowing with
rose color and glittering with gold.
He tells of a nice little surplus in the
treasury, of a happy and contented
people, of schools crowded with chill
dren who in turn teach their parents to
read, write and cipher, of vast de-
crease insthe death rate and a simply
stupendous increase. in trade. The
exports of Porto Rico Governor Hunt
says, have grown more than so per cent
within the past year, and native in
dustries are booming.
What has wrought these phenomenal
results in the short space of two years?
Nothing but the establishment of free
trade between the United States and
Porto Rico, which has been equally
beneficial to us. Before the tariff
curse was removed, Porto Rico was
going to the dogs very fast. Its peo-
pie were starving and discontented.
Governor Allen, the predecessor of the
present executive, had to dodge depu-
tations of hungry women and children
besieging the palace" with their cry
for work for their husbands and faith
ers. The merchants of the island piled
the government at Washington with
pathetic memorials. When at last free
trade was granted, Governor Hunt tells
us what happened.
Cuba is a richer island than Porto
Rico, and the opportunities of trade
development are much greater. But
the merchants and planters of Cuba are
bankrupt, and the laboring element OF
the population is on the verge of starv-
alton. Free trade would make Cuba
prosper as conspicuously as Porto Rico
But free trade is obnoxious to the sugar
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
lMPACTED EAR WAX.
where 1t Comes From and How u
Should Be Treated.

Should Be Treated.
The normal secretion of the orifos
Of the ear is the product Of glands
situated III the outer half of the canal
only. This secretion-the cerumen, or
ear wax-is slowly poured from the
gland ducts as thin, yellowish liquid.
AS it quickly loses a large amount Of
its watery elements by evaporation
and becomes admixed with dust it
forms thin layer, waxlike in color
and consistency, which normally COW
ers only the outer portion of the canal,
that III which the glands are located.
This layer Of material probably has
its chief function in common with the
few small hairs in the same location,
IN protecting the vibratory membrane
the drum-from the contact of dust.
1t is interesting to observe that the
exit of this layer of wax is accom-
plished by nature chiefly with the aid
Of the motion communicated to the
ear canal by the movement of the Jaw
in chewing and talking, q motion read
lily felt by touching the orifce with
the finger tip during these processes.
The constant increase of The secretion
is therefore provided with a CORE
spending loss, which takes place almost
as imperceptibly as the constant loss
of the superficial layer of the skin from
the surface of the body.
This explanation serves to make
r1o <De
or hairpins is unnecessary. The use
of such objects is not only superf1u-
Gus, but it is often the cause of the
very condition which those who use
them would prevent.
Even too vigorous washing with a
twisted cloth or sponge, for example,
may result in pushing the wax back
into the canal until a mass sufficient
to block the entire opening is accumu-
lated.
The first intimation of the presence
Of impacted wax is often the sudden
occurrence of a considerable degree of
deafness. This is most likely to hap
pen on damp day or just after or dur
! ing bath. A slight amount of mois
ture causes the mass to swell so that
the narrow chink previously existing
| between the mass and the canal is
closed If it is not now removed, The
mass may shrink and the hearing pow
er be temporarily restored, only to bt
lost again when conditions arise caus
/ ing an increase in the size of the mass
Firm. gentle Swinging with warn
water from a piston ear syringe is usu
ally regarded as the safest and best
method of removing the mass, the
handling of which had better be in
trusted to physician or trained nurse
IL possible.-Youth's Companion.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
THE COOKBOOK.

In making any sauce put the flour
and butter in together, and your sauce
will not be lumpy.
A heavy salad is always out Of place
in an elaborate dinner. MayOnnaise is
permissible, but French dressing is
better.
If corned beef is very red. which
means it is very salt. put it to cook in
cold water This draws out a portion
of the salt.
When croquette mixtures are too wet
to mold and shape, put in more chop
ped meat or fish or in a desperate case
finely pounded breadcrumbs.
In making custard for lemon pies it
is better to partly bake the crust be-
fore adding the mixture so that it may
not be absorbed by the paste.
Gingerbread is improved by adding
to it, when mixing cupful of chop
ped prunes. Use the juice of the
prunes instead of water and mix the
dough little stiffer.
Fried breakfast bacon is much i'm
proved if cooked in some of the bacon
fat saved from the previous day, There
should be just enough for the bacon to
float in. and it must be hot before the
rashers are added. Cook three min
utcS.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
THE UNIVERSITY REGENTS.

A dispatch from Phoenix yesterday
irtimated that Governor Brodie had
altered his original determination to
appoint at least one Democrat on the
board of regents of the University OF
Arizona. If this is true, it is to be
sincerely regretted
The appointments made by Governor
Brodie so far have been inspired by a
high sense of public duty. They have
been of a character to satisfy every
decent man in Arizona. Much was
expected of Governor Brodie, because
of his training and high character, and
up to this time no one has been dis
appointed.
The University of Arizona is not
political institution, and even the
semblance of partisanship should be
excluded from it's governing body.
The children of Democrats and Repub-
licans and Populists are sent to the
University to be educated. 1t is main
tanned by the taxes of all of the people.
All of the people are interested in its
development, in the establishment OF
its character as a seat of learning, and
the way to establish the confidence Of
the people in the institution is to prove
to them that party politics have no place
in its management. When the Presi-
dent of the United States appoints Wis
itors to the great national institutions
at West Point and Annapolis, they are
always almost equally divided between
the two great parties. This is not
only wise, but proper. No one has
right to complain when adherents of
the party of the appointing power are
given the purely political offices, but
educational and eleemosynary institu-
tions are not political, and their gov
erning boards should be non-partisan.
We sincerely hope that the intimation
sent from Phoenix yesterday will prove
to be incorrect. Governor Brodie's
original intention to appoint Demo-
crat on the board of regents of the
University was not only wise, but in
spired by propriety. There are small
partisans, both Democrats and Republi-
cans. in Arizona, who would convert
the University into cog of a po-
litical machine if they had the power,
but we prefer to believe that
Governor Brodie is not of that
class. No well-wisher Of the
University would desire to engender a
suspicion in the minds of the people
that it was under political control or
dominated by one political party. To
confirm the precedent of a purely par
tisan board of regents would be little
short of calamitous to the institution.
We have hope that Governor Brodie
will be guided by his own high sense OF
right and propriety.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

fusing to recognize the Typographical
Union. mo. sir. l can not indorse
any such action by that paper or any
other. | sincerely hope Arizona is not
to be disgraced by supporting a second
scab like the Los Angeles Times. |
am not a subscriber to the Star,
though I am aware it is supporting my
candidacy for the Office of Delegate 10
Congress. But l want to say to you
again, no journal or individual can
enlist my sympathy or support that
opposes the honest efforts of organized
labor"
This was severe, but deserved. The
Star is still fighting organized labor.
The Typographical Union is still ex-
cluded from it's Office. The black flag
of denial of the right of workmen TO
organize is still unfurled. More than
a month ago The Citizen used this Ian
guage, which it now repeats: I'VE
call upon the Star to retrace it's false
and dangerous step. We summon the
Star to yield to organized labor it's just
and reasonable demand. The owners
of The Citizen cheerfully conceded
the demands of the union, because they
we're just and reasonable and proper.
The Star must affiliate with the union
or place itself in square and open an
tagonism to the best interests Of the
producing masses of the community. -
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
Him 0.Rrteu.s Euitauh.

Il suppose our western country hes
furnished more funny things in the ep-
itaph line than all the rest of the
world" remarked a Colorado eXcon-
gresham.
Il remember one that adorned the
cemetery at LeadvilIe in the palmy
days of that great mining camp. 1t
seems that i'll the course of a barroOm
broil one Jim O'Brien, we'll known
character, had his existence terminal
ed prcmaturely. He was a good fell
low in the main and not without
friends. One Of the dead mans asso-
ciates, in deep grief over his demise.
erected wooden slab over his grave
on which he had written in large let
ters:
Jim O'Brien departed for heaven at
$50 a. m.
"A local humorist happened along
soon afterward and appended the fol
lowing:
Heaven, APO p. n1.-O'Brien not yet ar
rived. Intense excitement. The worst is
feared.
Washington Times.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
How the President Is Paid.

IN the appoltionment of the salaries
Of all United States government EN-
ployees the year is divided into quar-
ters and each quarter subdivided ar
cording to the number of days in each
month. but the president receives prac-
tically the same amount every month.
Thus, if president should die at the
end Of February, after receiving his
salary for that month. his successor
would in reality receive less than the
full amount due him in March because
his predecessor had. in effect, been
Ovcrpaid the prior month. Inasmuch
as the presidents salary may not be
divided into exactly equal parts, it is
necessary TO pay the cSief magistrate
81. 1866 on some months and 81, 1861
on others On one occasion during
the Cleveland administration q mis-
take was made. and there We're sent
to the chief executive three successive
warrants for 81, 1866. When the
error was discovered, the treasury de-
partment hastened to dispatch to the
White House a warrant on the United
States government for a. cent. made
out in Mr. CIeveland's faVCr, though
the president never cashed this check.
-ArgOnaut.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
THE CHPRICES OF WOMEN.

There is evidently no accounting for
woman's caprices. The wife of San
Francisco man had him summoned
recently before a magistrate to answer
charges of aggravated assault and bat
terry. On the night on which the pri-
maries were held to elect delegates to
the Republican State convention this
citizen, being a Gage partisan, cele-
brated not wisely but too enthusiastic
ally. He returned home at night in a
more exhilarated condition than is be-
coming to the head of the family. His
wife eXpostulated. He resented her
admonitions and reproaches and finally
"disciplined" her. She was very an
CRY and had him arrested. On Friday
last the case was taken up for trial.
The indignant woman of week before
had changed her mind. She told the
magistrate that she desired to with
draw the warrant; that while her hus
band had given her a shaking up, 40
loving and obedient wife had a right to
object to such discipline. 1T is not
wrong" she added, for a husband to
shake up his wife when she gives pro-
vocation" Think of that shameful
admission The woman's clubs through
ont the United States should pass reso-
lutions expressing their horror and
indignation.
In a suit for divorce now pending in
a New York court the petitioner,
woman demands release from marital
bondage for sundry and various rea-
sons. Her husband, it appears, has
not treated her brutally He has
never raised his hand against her and
never inflicted physical punishment
on her. But the sensitive lady suffers
great anguish of mind because her
lords table manners are not as elegant
as they ought to be. Perhaps he eats
pie with a knife, discards the fork
when eating other delicacies, is on
distant terms with the finger bowl, and
applies the toothpick to his molars be-
! fore he has retired from the table.
These barbarities grieve his aesthetic
wife, cause her great mental torture,
and are alleged as justification for the
sundering of the bonds which unite her
to so coarse a spouse. Perhaps the
old mans eccentricities are inelegant
but is a marriage to be dissolved be-
cause one of the parties to the contract
has bad table manners? Did the
couple never dine together before they
were married? What will become OF
social order and family relations II
eating pie with knife is ground for a
divorce? Many a man is guilty OF
this transgression, but he is not neces-
sarily depraved because of his lack OF
elegance. Not many centuries age
the ancestors of the proudest and the
haughtiest Of us didn't use either
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26

knife or fork when they sat down to
eat. The fashion then was to use the
fingers. and there We're not any finger
bowls either before or after the meal.
There is g widespread impression
that women faint at the sight of
mouse. Here for instance is Miss
Halle Erminie Rives, the Virginia
novelist, who. according to popular
notions. would probably shrek with
terror if she were to meet with one
of these mischievous little animals.
Yet Miss Rives, according to an Atlantic
Citv dispatch. is not at all frightened
when a gigantic sturgeon leaps into
her canoe. upsets the boat and makes
that heroic lady spend fifteen minutes
in the water. Miss Rives had an ad-
venture of this nature last week, but
she didn't swoon, or shrek, or cry.
Instead of doing these very womanly
things. she concentrated all her ener-
eies in saving herself from drowning,
and accomplished her own rescue in the
calmest and most matter of fact fash
ion. Would she have done otherwise
if mouse had suddenly jumped into
her canoe? Why should a woman
have hysteria when a mouse ap-
proaches her, but tackle a sturgeon
with the skill and bravery OF a veteran
fisherman? Who can fathom the ca
prices Of the gentle sex? They sure
are queer critters.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
A Snft AnHwRr

Dibbs Uather shortsighted, overtak-
ing total stranger and slapping him
on back from behind)-Hello, old fell
low. How are YOU? SO glad to see you
again. Who'd have thought of meet
Stranger Confound YOU, sir! How
dare you strike me in that blackguard-
" manner? You ought to be more
careful that you've got the right per
son.
Dibbs- Really, sir, must apologize,
but | took you for the Earl of -. The
likeness is really Won-
Stranger greatly mollified-Say no
more, sir. | entreat. | quite see now
the mistake occurred. Magnificent
weather. isn't it? Good morning 10
you; good morning.-London Answers.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
The Professor, the Lady and the Cow.

The Professor, the Lady and the Cow.
1t is told of certain professor whose
Observation-Disclosures about equaled his
learning that he was one day, crossing
the college campus, absorbed to such
a degree in a book of his that had just
been published that he was lost to
everything else. Suddenly he bumped
up against an object, and looking up
he saw that he had collided with a
cow that had rudely strayed in his
way. Get out of the way, you cow"
ne exclaimed irritably. prefiXing an i'm
polite adjective to ''cow."
The next day as the professor was
again crossing the campus, immersed
in his reading, he again ran into an
object. "Oh, that cOnfounded cow
he exclaimed. Then, hearing an in
dignant Sir he looked up hastily TO
discover that this time he had come
up against the wife of a fellow pro-
fessor 1t hardly made matters better
to assure her that he had taken her
for a COW, and it required the coed
offices of the entire faculty to restore
an era of good feeling.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
Love of Country.

For the love of country, rs such, it
would be difficult to decide between
the highlander of Scotland and the
mountain born inhabitants of the Tyrol.
Both will wander IN search of fortune
to the ends of the world and yet look
back to their native mountains as their
only real home. The same is true Of
1t is very singular fact that inhab-
itants of mountainous countries pos
sess this feeling of attachment in y
much intenser form than those of fat
countries
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
No Excuse.

A member of volunteer fire brigade
did not appear on the scene of the con-
fiagration until after the fire was un-
der control. He was severely taken to
account 10y theSchief for thus neglect
ing his duty.
Il could not help it. replied the fire
man. II live long way from the
fire"
THAT'S no excuse" snapped the
chief. You must move nearer the
ueXt fire London Answers.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
THE STAR AND UNION LABOR.

When the Arizona Star declared war
on union labor by refusing 10 affiliate
its office with the Typographical Union
The Citizen warned it to desist
Neither the community of Tucson nor
the Territory of Arizona was in mood
to tolerate the engendering of bad feel
ing and strife between employer and
employe. The demands of the Typo
graphical Union were just and reason
able All that the union printers
asked was a fair days pay for fair
days work, and prompt payment in
fusing this proper demand the Star in
vited the enmity of all organized labor,
and subsequently practically declared
war on all organized labor.
The action of the Star has been con-
demned by all fair-m minded people
throughout Arizona. Even Colonel J.
F. Wilson, whom the Star is pretending
to support for Delegate to Congress,
took the first opportunity to repudiate
it. In an interview printed in the
Prescott Prospect, Colonel Wilson is
thus quoted:
mo, sir!" said Colonel Wilson yes
terday, when interviewed by a repre-
sentative of the Prospect in regard to
his opinion of the Tucson Star IN re-
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
Ynnk Ii Calmly.

A baltimore physician was once
called hurriedly TO see the sick child OF
colored parents in the vicinity ana per-
ceived at the first glance that the in
FAINT had but a few hours to live. EX-
pecting an outburSt of anguish, he
broke the truth as gently as possible
to the child's mother and was met with
the sterling rejoinder That's all right,
doctor; there's plenty of room for him
up yonder, but we're dreadful scrouged
down here"
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
Lacked Heart.

"Once there was a lawyer out near
Galesburg," said an Illinois congress
man, who made a brilliant defense in
a certain case. Men praised his effort
VIII he make his mark for ability as
an advocateT some one asked. NO.
replied the veteran lawyer. His aNl-
ity begins here at the Adams apple
and extends upward. He must have
something under his left breast The
congressman cited this as an example
why some speeches fail in the house
of representatives Washington Post.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
PRISON UPERINTENDENT.

In appointing William NJ. Griffith
superintendent of the Territorial prison
Governor Brodie has once again dem
onstrated the excellence of his judg-
ment as an executive. Mr.. Grittith is
citizen of strength and character and
substance. He is an old AriZonian.
thoroughly identified with the progress.
the industrial expansion and the busi-
ness life of the Territory. He is known
to the people, has occupied official sta
ton before, and never failed to dis
charge every duty and obligation with
ability, fidelity and honor.
,:Le management of the Territorial
prison, to be efficient and economic.
requires business capacity of a high
order. The prison is a big institution
and needs at it's head man of high
intelligence, possessed not only OF
sound business judgment, but also OF
an extensive knowledge of human ma
ture He should be patient and firm
kind and strong We believe that
William NJ. Griffith has all these quail
tiles. and consequently Governor Bro
die is to be sincerely congratulated on
the wisdom of his selection.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
..stonewallv Jackson's baptism.

Robert f. Lee and Thomas Jonathan
'StouewallD jackson were once sta
toned at Fort Hamilton, New York
harbor, the former while it was being
built Jackson was baptized at old st.
Johns church at Fort Hamilton, and
the records contain the following en-
try: "On Sunday. Goth of April, 1S49,
baptized Thomas Jonathan Jackson,
ma jor in the United States army; spon-
sors, Colonels Taylor and Dimmick,
also of the army" The baptismal font
used for this ceremony is still pre-
served.-New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26

Those persons who are compelled to
remain at home at this season of the
year can extract much pleasure from
the thought that there is a vast differ
ence between the summer resorts and
their prospectuses.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-08-26
She WINS Master.

Father Qeft in charge)-No, you can
not have any more cake. Very seri-
ously) DO you know what shall have
to do if you go on making that dread
full noise?
Little Girl (Sobhing)-Nes.
Father Well, what is that?
Little Girl Give me some more cake.
And she was quite right,