davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
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Whai,a In q mel

"Do you call this realistic fiction?"
asked the critic.
Certainly" replied the author.
"What's the matter with it?"
Its altogether too probable" an
uwered the critic.-Chicago Post.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
Two Points of View,

Poeticus-There isn't much atmos-
phere, music or poetry in business, is
there?
Prac.ieus-Naw. An there amt
much business in music, poetry and
atmosphere n. Y. Times.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
May Enough.

Briggs-So you are going to hal
your fortune told by the new .
trologer downtown. Let me give y
n pointer. If you want him to pred
that you will one day be rich, just 81
him a handsome tip.
Griggs-That's all right. I'll g.
him my note for thousand or so, pa
able when become o millionaire
Boston Transcript.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
M'Ycs! Quite So!

"Did Dora tell you about Jacks pro.
posal? She says he literally hurled
himself at her feet"
"Ah, but suppose she suppressed
the fact that she hal, Ggureatively
flung herself at his head."-Ally
Ioper.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

1t is the opinion of the Chicago Post
that the New York man who killed
himself because his salary was too
small took rather peculiar way to
have it increased.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

Man I'm theatsr, to woman in
tront)-Madam, paid one dollar and
4 half for this seat, and your hat
Woman (calmly)-1hat hat cost
StO.-H. 7. Weekly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
Immune.

The bore, though scantily admired,
Is none the less happy elf.
He talks till everyone is tired
And thus Is never bored himself
-Wash!ugton star
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

France is asking for and receiving
more st. Louis exposition literature
than any other foreign country.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
Enough Torture.

She-It's pity you haven't mind
of your own.
Cholly-Jote, cnght to have. You
give me piece of yours often enough!
Harlem Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

The Hsyner Distilling Co., Of Dayton. Ohio
will ship you four full quarts Of Hayner's Sew
on Year.Old Rye by express, charges prepaid
for $50. See their advertisement which ap
pears elsewhere In this issue.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
A DfstlnctboA.

$50 your wife is q great admirer of
imaginative stories?"
eyes, she likes fiction In novels; but
.-er-she says there Is nothing novel
about my fiction !"--Baltimor News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
An InsinuatiOn.

"They claim to be connected with
some Of the best families"
"By telephone" - Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
A Protest.

Things never seem properly q
justed in this world" said the carr
less young man.
"For instance?"
II have observed time and agsi
that the people with the most e.
pensive tastes almost invariably ha'
the least money to meet them.
Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
A WlsN.

"Alack." the aeronaut exclaimed.
Success my hopes would crown
II this same airship would 80 up
As fast as X comes down."
-Waxhington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
In Ague Land.

IL am going to fight this out to the
bitter end" said the man from College
Point as he took his regular dose Of
uuinine.-N. Y. Times.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
A Checkered Career.

Manager-Have you ever had any ex-
perience on the stage?
Chorus Grill have had all my eX-
periences on the stage, sir!-Brooklyn
Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
The Older the Rasier,

Eila-1hat fellow is q soft mark.
Stelia-Yes, men are Ike shoes; the
Older they get the easier tAAy are.-N.
7. Herald.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

The difference between gout and
corns is often the difference between
n bank account and the lack of one.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
Even He.

But the new minister at that
church is so awfully conceited.'
But, really, last Sunday he was
quite modest"
"You don't say"
"Yes. In the course of his sermon
he said: we are all more or less
fallible. Even ] am '"-Philadelphi
Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

A Gamer, exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked 10 his granny,
~ Gamer can can
Anything that he can;
But a Gamer cant can can, can her
--RCaton Globe.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

The five=cent packet is enough for an Ordin=
ary occasion. The family bottle, Sixty cents,
contains a supply for year.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

Too Green for Any Use.
He-I have never loved any other
woman since mother.
She--Then you need governess, not
a wife. e.-Town Topics.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
R i II P N s

I have been taking r p ans
Tabules for the dyspepsia, they
have helped me wonderfully. I do
not know any particular way they
affect me, but they seem to give
vigor to the entire system. had a
sort of languid feeling. but since
t king the Tabu,es I feel spirited
and have not tdat melancholy way
about me. I think they are good
for a general build-up of the sys-
tem,sas they seem to actlike atomic.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03
TEE SUNDAY SCHOOL.
Iesssn In the International seriss
fer April q, lOc2-Saul of Tarsus
Converted.

Prepared by II. C. Lexington.
THE LESSON TEXT.
(Acts 9:l-l2)
I. And Saul. yet breathing out threaten.
ings and slaughter against the disciples OF
the Lord. went unto the high priest.
Z. And he desired of him letters TO Da-
mascus to the synagogues. that II ne founo'
any OF this way. whether they were me
or women. he might bring them pound
into Jerusalem.
:. And as he journeyed. he came near
Damascus; and suddenly there snineo
round about him light from Heaven:
l. And he fell to the earth, and heard
a voice saying unto Him: Saul. Saul. why
persecutest thou me?
s. And he said: Who art thou. Lord
And the Lord said: am Jesus whom thou
persecutest; 1t Is hard for thee TO KICK
against the pricks.
s. And he trembling and astonished. said /:
Lord. what wilt thou have me to do! Ano
the Lord said unto him: Arise. and 90 into
the city, and 1t shall be told thee what
thou must do.
Z. And the men which journeyed with him
stood speeches., hearing a voice. but see
ing no man.
g. And Saul arose from the earth; and
when his eyes were opened, he saw no man;
but they led him by the hand, brought
him into Damascus.
Q. And he was three days without sight,
and neither did eat nor drink.
TO- And there. was a certain disciple at
Damascus, named Ananias; and to him
said the Lord In a vision: Ananias. And
he said Behold, am here, Lord.
II. And the Lord said unto him: Arise
and 60 into the street which is called
| Straight, and inquire in the house Of Judas
| for one called Saul, of Tarsus; for. behold
| he prayeth,
IL And hath seen In a vision a mar
| named Ananias coming in, and putting
his hand on him, that he might receive hi.
| sight.
NOTES AND COMMENTS.
GOLDEN TENT.-Repent ye there
| fore, and be converted, that your SIN
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1902-04-03

||uttof ord
| Is con
) great |
| curing
u
fnaryp pd
Sater ar
|cer, and
! CT bel
g day,
g night
effect |
| II stai
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led a mi
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lay haY|
\ dis
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|br. Xii
lhamtoI
|ngthis
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
ST. PAUL WOMEN RELIEVE
In Themselves and in Reform Not SURE
About Honest Aldermen.

The Woman's Civic League OF st. Paul'
has done things, II has made a great repu.
ta,ion In the West 10y having compelled
the cit authorities to enforce dead letter
smoke ordinances, persuaded the Lesisia-
ture to pass a Tree Planting bill and another
measure compelling the owners OF vacant
lots 20 keep them in orderly condition.
nrovided a circulating library, free enter
tninments. lectures on municipal reform.
reorpa nized the street cleaning. depart
meni and insisted upon a pure milk supply.
The League has lust issued a confession
Of faith of which this is the principal part,
we believe in manual training, emu
dren's Fairgrounds, less smoke; more money
for marks. the preservation OF the forests,
an eight hour day for everybody but our
selyesSye work fourteen. We believe tfas
school buildings are not necessarily olots
upon the landscape,
I'VE believe that our Health Commts
sioner is the best ever that our City In
eineer is all right. we oeiieNe w
have a Mayor.
W believe there are honest Aldermen.
we believe we have discovered thros.
We are holding our breath until we are sure.
we believe that an ounce or wotk "
worth a Mound Of talk. We believe In our
town. In It's future and in It's present we
believe in ourselves az among it's most ep-
liehtened. disinterested conscientious pup
lic-spirited citizens,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
WANTED, CLUB MANAGERS.
A kin OF Expert That Has Not Yet Ap-
penred In New York.

1T is a sort Of axiom" said the retired
house committeeman, that New York
gets whatever it wants, but in the matter
Of club management this is not quite true.
.New York has had clubs for more than
a century, has had them by the dozen for
the last half century, by the hundred for
the last twent y-fve years; yet there has
not arisen in all his time a race OF eXperts
in club management.
Clubs are still managed by mere anna
tours. who give a fraction Of their time
to what really is a most eGacting bust
ness. Thus year after year the Tubs go
on making the same old mistakes and spend
ing in the process vastly more money than
the salaries of a few score experts would
come to.
Perhaps the hardest thing to get in New
York is an honest and efficient club steward,
one that knows his business, that can get
the maximum OF Ell eCtiveness out of a
corps of servants without brutality and
without overworking them, and who is
content with his salary and the recognized
legitimate perquisities OF his Office. Dozens
Of clubs have suffered from the dishonesty
or the ineficiency of their stewards.
Every club enters upon the experiment
OF maintaining a restaurant with fear and
trembling, yet il has come about that a
club without a restaurant is almost no
club The lack OF expert help in a club
shows nowhere more than in the manage
AA'AA - NAA' 'HAh . sAAA'H fAANf hANNR NNAhN
maintain their own restaurants settle down
to a regular annual loss from those insti-
t%utions.,
The lack OF management X felt in clubs
In the thousand and one little details Of
daily club service. Every club member
has some grievance against his club.
House committees are mere amateurs
In club management, and they max no
systematic effort to meet all the require
mcnts OF members, The skilled profess
slonal club manager, who knows Just what
a member may reasonably ask and Is con-
stantly on the look out 10 anticipate the
needs of every one. would relieve the house
committee Of much friction
Club employees have a tendency to
administer club rules in d hard and fast
fashion very calling to members, and house
committees believe themselves bound in
self-defence 10 uphold the employee who
has lived up TO the letter of the aw. The
paid expert, who should make il his bust
mess TO see that the rules OF the club were
reasonably administered and who should
from time 10 time recommend modifica-
tions OF rules that worked unsatisfacto rily,
would save both members and house COM
mitIees much VexatiCn.
The club expert you'd be a man Of good
address, acquainted with the customs Of
Al! clubs, both home and foreign, keen in
Judging men, observant of mems tastes
and preJudices. ready at any time TO Con-
slider suggestions for club betterment.
would probably command twice or
thrice the salary of most club stewards,
but he would be worth all he cost There
are probably two-score clubs in New York
that would welcome such an expert as a
long-sought desiderat um.'
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16

the allies. On this account Mr.. Rockhii
could not give his consent to the plan
/ was firmly convinced that the treasure
was at the end Of the rainbow and that
the rainbow ended very definitely In a par
ticular building in the Imperial Guy, 20;
acting In the matter. went 10 some
friends on Gen. Won Waldersee's stan.
l had several talks with Gen. schwartz
kopf (afterward burned to death In the
destruction OF the Summer Palace) ana
through him asked the German forces TO
take the matter up. As in the case OF our
own troops. the Germans were intensely
interested, but they, too, feared inter-
national complications and, since the
Americans n a Japanese were IN oIeSI
control OF the Imperial city, they could
not act without the concerted action OF
the allies.
We did not dare trust the japanese ana
so, for lack OF the necessary assistance
we were compelled TO give up, our plahi
I am positive that IL Mr., Rockhiil couid
have arranged for some concerted ac.ion
in the matter at the time, just a year ago,
il would not only have hastened the peace
negotiations, but 1t would have Ensured
the speedy return OF the court 70 fekin'
IL IL a matter of history now, however,
that the protocol was not signed Tor many
months afterward. and the return OF me
Chinese imperial court was only accom-
plished IA few weeks ago. Ihe very re.
cent news Of the finding Of $40 ,0oo'O 600 OF
the treasure where IL had been concealed
more than a year before will doubtless
confirm TO the Government officials ap,,
preached at the time our plan was formed
Of the truth OF our statements, II such a con-
firmation be needed.
Perhaps the events OF the past year in
China may nave convinced them that our
plan would have been an eminently sane
plan to follow in clearing up the anairs
of the allies and placing the Government
OF China on a firmer basis toward the resi-
of the world. Al any rate. probably, ours
was the most unique opportunity in history.
II IL had been carried out | am firmly
convinced that millions would have been
saved and that the course OF events IN
China would have at once taken a turn
for the better. j. F.. BoECK.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
His Grateful First Client

From the NusNtNV''V
When Henry G smith Of Michigan stsrted
10 practice law he had as his first cnent .
negro. and he won the case The heaTlns
was before a local Magistrate, and the ohars'
was stealing a ring. AZ his client had EN-
ploylneut on n farm outside the town Nhe'-
Smith first hung up his single INC YOU
lawyer Is said to have taken the precsutloh
of hiring "a carriage and riding out 70 !ne
farmer. where he secured promise OF lhs
nsyTo's wnges for a few days As has retalhe,
Il made an eloquent plea said MI sInIIp
Yesterday IN recounting the procedures y.
that case. Il did not fail To ring W. Shansrs
on the downtroddcu race, and AL lha' 80,
OF thing. with the result that my client VEN
free Still, had a sort o! lingering suy
picion hat the verdict was certainly all ny
man deserved, aud when the. cast Nhs oN'u
wanted TO he rid Of him. He coutihu"o -
haunt my ONCE. o,,d
why don't you &c. out and chase aroGho
with the boys ! said finally. IN some i"-
patience.
- Deed. boss. ] thought 20, fee war VOC
small, an want yer to accept thls ere Ins
And the negro produced from he leNns
the ring which he had been supposed 10 hsN-
Blu, Mr.. Smith refused to accept the prsder
Of stolen goods.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16

a wealthy herder filed a water cart with
Murray cod and perch from the Murrum-
bidgee River n placed them In water
holes In the nearly desiccated bed OF Lake
George. The perch did not thrive, but
the cod multiplied rapidly, maxim the
lake one Of the best fishing resorts OF Aus
tralia. The lake has never been quite
dry since the fish we're introduced. the
myriads Of cod being all derived from
the original stock.
Thou hast given me a South Land;
give me also springs Of water was tAe
impressive petition on the title page OF one
Of the first books written about Australia
Most Of the continent is ever thirsty.
The prevailing trade winds drench the
eastern mountains with the moisture they
bring and provide abundant water for the
narrow strips Of farming land between
the great hills and the Pacific. But west
OF the mountains the winds, wrung nearly
dry give scanty rain to the grass lands
which very gradually merge into the
parched desert still further west. in whose
frightful wastes explorers have been swal-
lowed up and left no trace.
The little basin of Lake George lies near
the border between mountains and grass
lands right on the verge Of insufficient
rainfall; this ~accounts for the vagaries
OF the lake. Sometimes an atmospheric
swirl brings u great downpour. impris-
oning a large volume Of water in the hasin.
These are the palmy days Of the lake.
when it is long and wide with a wealth
OF water fowl and fish.
But Lake George is not a very graphic
recorder OF rainfall conditions. Floods
Of some importance scarcely seem TO make
any impression upon its water level. The
skies may be ~rainless for nan months
before it is readily apparent that the sur
face is falling. But the scene when its
dried bed is covered with herds and iocks
tells the story Of long years OF almost
brazen skies.
Lake George Is a type OF many lakes
situated, as il is. on the edge OF deficient
precipitation; and It Is more interesting
than almost any other lake Of its class
because il is surrounded by civilization
and has played a part in human activity
whether showing a beautiful expanse Of
water or only the bed where a lake has
existed.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
CLUBHOUS ~ FOR VI. I. 4. ALUNNI.
They Propose 10 Add q Novelty 10 the List
OF New lOrk's College Tubs

The project undertaken by the New
York alumni of .he Massachusetts, Institute
Of Technology Of building a clubhouse in
or near Madison Square is of special in
terest because OF the assertion made that
II erected. 1t will he the first put up in this
country by the graduates Of a technical
institution.
II il taken, of course, as an illustration
Of the growing need Of such alumni homes
Yale, Harvard and Princeton men Of this
city already ave olubhouses Of which
they are proud, and an addition TO the
number will be welcomed.
There are said to he about 800 VI. ]. +
graduates living in this city and those who
are in favor 81 the new club home say that
number IL sufficient TO support a clubhouse
such as is planned. One of the NJ. I. T..
alumni who Is prominent in the movement
Is Alexander X. McKim. the architect and
engineer.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
BUTTERFLIES IN WAREHOUSE.
PROF. MEYEFS GREAT COLLEC-
TION NOW IN BROOKLYN.

N was Get Together by the Late Prof'
Mover and Il Remarkable for la
systematic Arrangemont-One speci'
,ssu From the Amazon Believed by
Fxperts to he Absolutely Unique.
A resident of Brooklyn Interested In ento-
mology, who read In THE Sun hat the very
Raw. Dean Hoffman was considering the
projeot of presenting TO the American Mu-
scum OF Natural History the Strecker col
lection Of butterflies has sent to The Sun a
letter In which he says;
Being very much Interested In such COL
l~ections, I wish to call attention to a beau
dful collection Of lepidoptera which i had
the pleasure OF seeing in a Brooklyn ware
house. The collection is from all quarters
of the globe, comprising above 10 1000 speci-
mems, including many Of the rarest and
most handsome Of this family.
sThe collection was accumulated by the
late Prof. julius f. Meyer. / understand
that the collection covers forty-dve years
Of Se professors lifetime.
-Shope and trust that IL will be preserved.
A visit would repay any Of your readers
Interested In natural history
Prof. Meyer died In the autumn OF 1899.
He was well known In musical circles as
well as among men of science and he trained
many singers. some OF them attaining
places Of note which mad their names IA
miliar In the newspaper press Of the whole
country. He was a pupil Of Mendelssohn
and was one OF the twelve men chosen by
Nendelssohn TO lay wreaths upon the COM
poser's grave
He came to the United States TO make
his home In 1852, and for forty-seven years
devoted his professional energies to the
cultivation Of the voice and his hours Of
recreation to the collection of the butterflies
Of the world. The collection Of butterflies
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
wouldn't Talk shop.

From fN I1rdO1 Iu-bus.
"Very interesting scenery. sir" said q Londoner
TO A grim looking Scot on board the Loeb Kstrne
steamer,
I'm pleased yc think sac answered the Sswney.
"Replete with 1s,orical associations.
Maybe: but ! dinna ken ~onything ABBOTT them
What" exclaimed the Enslshman' surely
YOU have read the works OF your great country
man. Sir Walter Scott, the Wizard OF the NORTH"
sir Walter Scott, What ws he"
"S,r. thIs is perfectly Incredible. You a Scotch
man and never heard OF the man who wrote the
Wayerlv novels. Marmlon. The Lady OF the Lake,
and al that sort Of thing
The Scot only shook his head
The disguised cockney turned away with en-
expression OF contempt for such gross Ignorance
and nm individual who had overhead the converse
ton. ~hlushing for his uniformed conpatriot. took
All opportunity OF asking whether his confession
was actually true,
"root. mon. WAS the testy reply, Il didna want
10 hear ony O. that English idiots
bletherin'. Heard OF wa'ty Scott For the last
WE'VE months i've heard enough OF Sir Walter
Scott, and his novels. too. I'm a printers reader
and our arm has been prntin' a new edition OF his
works. I'm on my holidays. mon, and Gamma he
botherin' speaking about shopi"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
said 10 cure smallpox.

From fhs DaEburV ErHa'nG NtTs
would respectfully submit the following
Il, formo,ion tnken from a foreign ~communica-
ton on The subject. N the interests OF afflicted
humabi'y, thinking Z may prove oil use
again al this time during me rpluelnlc ~
n~eightrring cities and states. The remedy
Is as follow and guaranteed to cut short
worst cases in three days
one ounce Of cream OF tartar dissolNeu
whem cold, is a ncver-fsilins remedy, II has
cured thousands never leaves a marx. never
,esnI, IN saxs,e cases., and avoids tedious
lingering, ANNIE n DANIEL ~
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1902-02-16
THE HUMOROUS SIDE or LIFE
Further Data wanted by the Bishop,

From me Phndue!pNfo i"ts
Archbishop Ryan's friends tell this story OF
his Grace: The Archbishop was about 10 'Ase
a train for Baltimore at tho Broad street station
when a young man accosted him. saying lout
faoe 4, familiar. Where In hell have | seen you''
u really don't know" said the Arehohhop'
blsndly. What part Of hell do you come from