The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-10-24

~ was uulN Sent, as "a matter OF course,
and Mrs. Florence remarked to her hus-
ha nd that: considering the friendship ex-
lstlng between the two men, she thought
VI. Mackay might have taken private
box at least
Waltz said Florence, che has not
paid for it yet and I am in no hurry"
The benefit took place, Mr.. Mackay ot,-
cupied the seat he had taken and a day
| later he sent Florence a check for $1,000.
Holdon-I tell you what, Harry, 1
wish 1 had enough money to relieve all
the distress amongst the poor people Of
Holdon-You see, if I had all that
money, I'd be able to live like fighting
cock all the rest of my life.-Bostor
Transcript.
Judge Pennypacker. as court was
| about to open, was acosted one morning
by a little girl, who said:
Please, sir, my father wants to know
| If. you can't excuse him from the jury
today. He can't get his shoes on
why what's the trouble, little one?'
| asked the judge, kindly. =.
She looked at the floor and did not
| reply; and he, thinking there was de-
ception, repeated his question, but. il
Sterner tones.
"Why, it's because. he don't wea.
that. Papa's the man with the Woo den
leg, sir. '-Philadelphia Times.
! Better take this trade on my terms,
ST. the first farmer urged. Its a bar
gain"
NO, Stree replied the other. =" Il want
somethin' to boot"
"Waal, b gosh, you'll have somcthin'
to boot eff you don't make the trade. Yell
want ter kick yerself. ''-Philadelphia
Press.
In 4 class in downtown school in a
crowded section Il reading lesson was in
progress and the word orchard occurred.
The teacher tested the knowledge OF the
reader, a boy Of 10 or IL years, by asking
him if he knew what an orchard was.
,'Nes'm,'' came the reply promptly. "a
place where apples and peaches grow,
onions, too
,,"Why.- john, YOU know better. than
that Only fll9it is found in an orchard
''Well, teacher. the pedtlers all call
them out like that" was Johns: .explana-
ton as he went OH with his reading
|
= Here's a late story anent Christian
Science: A Boston mother said to her lit.
tie: daughter: IF you had my faith
darling. YOU would have no toothache. i
The child replied: swell, mother, if you
had my tootbache YOU wouldn't have any
faith. boston Herald.
! --:o:-
In order to discourage the used of OBJ
jectionable words the father had evolved
a system OF fines, somewhat after this
! fashion:
Hang it-One cent.
Darn 1.-two cents.
Gosh-Three cents.
: Gosh darn it-Five cents.
| The boy who was to be reformed by
this method studied the tariff with con
siderable interest, but it was some time
tbefore he spoke.
"Well,' lie said at last, Il guess !
know some words that would cost a
uarter."-Chicago Evening Post.
But Soon to Be.-Miss Ascum-- WASN'T
that Mr.. Bonds saw you walking with
last evening. Miss Coy-Yes, Miss
Assemblies landed freebooter in the
county, isn't he? Miss Coy (blushing)-
Well-er-he isn't quite landed yet
Philadelphia Press:
The late Sir Frank Lockwood, famous
English lawyer, was once III Yorkshire
defending a man who was accused of
stealing a donkey, when witness for the
prosecution declared he beheld the whole
proceedings from afar. Now, my man, -
quoth Mr.. Lockwood. as he then was.
''you must be extremely careful in your
statements. You say you watched this
affair from affair." Tell me. now. how far
can You see donkey to really know it's
points?' lust as far off as I am from
you. MASTER" replied the yokel. And the
great Q. C. subsidized.
':How come dey always hez Death
ridin' of white hoss:': asked the col
etarnel fitness er things, he orter come
fer de niger a-straddle Of mule''-
Atlanta Constitution.
II say, didn't see you running down
the street yesterday, with Bill Bounce
after ter: yon?'
| What did you run away for?''
IL was only running so as to get
him away from his home, so as his
mother couldn't see him fghtin': but by
we got i'll sight of our house, and then.
as my mother would see me if stopped
to hit him. l went in so as to be out of
temptation New York News. -:
| Mrs. Jones-A bachelor has no excuse
for living.
Mr. Jones-Of course not; but a mar
ried man has to have two or three a
| week.-Judge.
The owners of a successful and pros
porous mandatory at some distance
! from New York have been kept so busy
| by visitors to whom no invitations had
been sent that they had prepared a
| schedule as follows, with a postscript i'll
| forming their friends that they will at
| tend to their own business between sun
set and sunrise: Commercial travellers,
to II; solicitors for church subscrip-
| tons, IL to i; book agents, 1 to 3; sta
tionery .peddlers and insurance agents,
all day."
| A Georgia philosopher says of a bud
! ding genius in his settlement, He's so
literary that he's hungry all the timer'-
Atlanta Constitution
! what were your sensational" asked
the reporter of the chauffeur whose au-
| tOmObile had struck a tree.