The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-08-15

AS they reckon time: "How long has
she been on the stage?" "Only about
three divorces. "-Chicago RecordHer~
aid.
Some one has named a cigar after
Mary MacLane. 1t emits blue fame
and sulphurous smoke.-St Paul
Globe.
Nathan Hale is reported to have said:
II am sorry that am not a cat so l
could give nine lives to my country
Harvard Lampoon.
"Noodelles never dsagrees with any
body" Eyes; that's what makes it so
disagreeable to have him around"-
indianapolis News.
Father-"Well, my son, what did you
learn at school to-day?" Little Proc
tor-"Not to sass Tommy McNuttr'-
Chicago Daily News.
Bragge-"I was knocked senseless by
a crcket-ball two years ago." The boy
in the corner-"When does yer expeck
ter get over it?"-Tit-Bits.
Truths echo: "Good men, you know.
are scarce" Eyes, I know, and even
bad men have to make themselves so
at times" -Boston Courier.
The optimist: Grandpa-"Well, Hor-
ace, we haven't caught any fish; it's
hard lines" Horace-"But we had good
luck digging worms" -Chicago News
Pugilistic- Nell-"Did Miss Bilyums
act as if it was severe blow when she
didn't get the prince?" BELIEVES,
she took the count. "-Philadelphia
Record.
Sunday-school teacher-"And so Lots
wife was turned to salt. Can any one
tell why?" Wicked Willy (from the
Lampoon.
Hardhead- well, every man has a
right to his opinion" Pepprey-"Yes,
but the trouble is he can't be made to
realize that there may be wrong to
t."-Philadelphia Press.
THAT author keeps his identity close
ly concealed" EYES," answered Miss
Cayenne; until 1 read his books
thought it was due to modesty.". isn't
it," "No. Discretion -Washington
Star
Far from 1t: Girl with the Gibson
girl neck-"Fan Billiwink has begun to
show her age, hasn't she?" Girl with
the Julia Marlowe dimple-"I should
say not. She's begun to try to hide it."
Chicago Tribune.
It was her first ride in an automobile
and she was deeply interested in the
horn that was used to notify people to
clear the way. 'Papa,' she said.
| ''Well?' he returned. MAKE it snore
some more."-Chicago Post.
| Haven't you read that lovely new
noyel?" asked the first summer girl.
| NO." replied the other, 1.-The only edi-
ton Of it I've seen has horrid yellow
cover that doesn't accord with any Of
my gowns. "-Philadelphia Press
Sociable: "Well, WE'LL" remarked
Farmer Korntop at the Zoo. "this here
lion pears to be real good-natured."
"Mebbe,' suggested his good wife, Its
one O. them social lions We read about
in the papers. "-Philadelphia Press.
"This is remarkable climate" said
the tourist. 1T u.s." answered the old
settler. Ever since l have been here
1 have wondered how a climate could
change so many times a day and every
time for the worse" -Washington Star.
! Upgardson-'1 hear there is some
complaint that the continual dampness
is rendering many pianos useless"
Atom-'I have heard Of it's running a
great many pianos, but haven't heard
any complain about it.'-Chicago Trib-
une.
! The Observation-Disclosures children,
why do we love to go to the beautiful
parks? What do we find there that is
always fresher ard purer than it is in
the city," Truthful Tommy with
cheerful promptness)-"Pop sir"
Tx.
Eyes, count, in all the park there is
no place like so we'll as under this
old, old tree" (Sighing sentimentally)
There are tender associations, you
see." "Aha. comprehend, nam selle.
| You have yourself planted the tree!"-
Punch.
II can't imagine anything more IN
satisfactory than meal at our board
ing house." said the chronic kicker.
MOP" replied the impressionable young
man. Evidently you never got kiss
from your best girl over the telephone"
philadelphia Press.
How does it come you resigned your
position as Office boy?" inquired the
gentleman of little Jimmie; didn't you
like your employer?' YES" replied
Jimmie, Il like hir, well enuf, but
didn't like tn brand Nv seegars he
! smokes "-Ohio State Journal.
Baker-"Didn't see you in your auto
mobile yesterday, Butler-''That was
because I was under it, probably.
That's where l spent the greater part
Of the day, fixing things that had gotout
of killer. don't know as shall get
much riding in my machine; but shall
learn a. powerful lot about machinery"