The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-19
Fun OF TIE MohLp.

1
n the army was cornered by the enemy.
he addressed his men as follows.
Ny men, dght ike demons until your
powder runs out. then run AS In . lit
lie lame. II start now.
! < < &
Talking OF The angelic creature you
! darced with at Browns ball. said Wag-
4 ley. "supposins. now. You we're 10 meet
real angel. how would you address her.
Don't you know2 Wei, should ask
her what on earth she was doing."
< K
/ A British Columbia lawyer was passing
along the street. carrying under his arm
| a law-bOok in circuit binding. when he
was accosted by self-righteous indi-
you going 70 preach today I don
preach. practice. replied the lawyer.
x
When the late Iii Hung Chang visited
I Germany a few years ago. the Kaiser
asked him: How DO our women ccm-
! pare with those OF China % II really
cannot tell" said L slowly. fastening
/ was present. we never see hall Is much
OF our women as you do OF yours
<
Mark Twain was recently chatting Sir
! Wemyss Reid on The vsga-ies of English
pronunciation. You spell q name Beau
champ. and pronounce Il March
[ banks, he said. And you Go precisely
the same thing. replied Sir Wemyss.
/ w hat DO you mean asked Mark Twain.
''Wen. you spell your name C-l-e-m-e-n-s.
and you pronounce It Mark Twain.
x < <
The Christian register reports that the
I question. What was the general char
! acter OF Moses?' drew from the child in
/ Sunday school the reply: a gentleman"
Not understanding the inspector ask
( ed why. Please. sir, when the daughters
I Of Jethro went 20 the wen 10 draw water.
! the shepherds were in the way; but
! Noses helped them and said 10 the shop
herds, Ladies first. please
x <
Little Prince Edward Of Wales. son
| OF England's heir-apparent, said the
! other day, TO a lady who was visiting
! the royal children in their nursery. DO
you think that greatgrandmamma IS quite
/ happy in heaven" Yes. dear, replied
the lady: don't you think SOP well. 1
am not quite sure answered he; you
see, she viii have TO walk behind the
| angels there. and here she always walk
ed in 'front.'
ggR
It was the young daughter OF an East
/ Side saloon-keeper. innocent OF any the
/ cries about sunday Opening" but per-
! fectiy familiar with the practice says the
! New York Evening Post. She was in
( her class IN the mission Sunday school.
and IN her course OF catechism quiz,
, the question came to her:
Who made the world"
God did" was her prompt answer.
/ He made the world ia six days. ans
was arrested on the seventh"
K EE K
/ An error of "a new clerk in fha mailing
department OF an eastern publishing
! house house was responsible the other
day FOR the mailing OF prospectus 70
world-famous statesman, who had been
dead for some years. The letter was
returned a few DAYS later, with the fol-
lowing Endorsement; In heaven. --
1901. Gentlemen: As your publications
are not permitted 10 circulate here. 1 be-
lieve il would be useless for me to sub
scribe for them. Yours resNectfuily.'
and here followed the name Of the IA
nous statesman.
ggs
When asked what he thought Of = GER
tain captain who frequented the Essex
links. a Scotch caddic said: ''Neel. sir.
he's vera nice gentleman an "A good
gaufer. but he's awfu' nerra-awfur ner-
IA" Marrow, What DO YOU mean. Dom
ald2' ''NNeel. sir. IL is this way. Etter
I
rled his clubs Up 10 tae house. he says;
Donald will you hae draw and I
said: I do be vera pleased so he gets
the bottle, an he pourin' ava iutae
glass. an I wantiu' tae be Eentecl says.
stop. stop!-an he stopped.
x x x
/. r. Stockwell. the popular actor. SAYS
that some years ago. when Peter Jack
son. the colored pusilist, was q feature
in a revival OF Uncle Toms Cabin"
"BHl Nye was 70 have lectured IT the
Baldwin theatre. but was greeted by 20
small an audience that he excused him
self and went over to hear Jackson talk
ing Of the pearly gates Of Little Eva.
After the performance. Stockweli met MO
i'm the lobby Of the theatre. and he eX-
claimed: Hello. Nye, What do you think
OF Petere'' well" responded the hum0r-
ist. dryiy. "anatomically he was great.
but Uncle Ironically he IS the worst
ever saw
gEE *
Or. varnadoe. a noted professor II
Greek, is very fond OF flowers. and some
days ago, on returning from his college
duties. he found in mis- front yard pes
tiferous calf belonging 10 neighbor.
The doctor gave chase and the animal
plunged toward the flower pit. and ia
another instant crashed through the
glass cover and mixed at random with
the plants and pots below. When gnoth-
or professor passed a Few minutes later,
ne said. graveiv. Il don't understand.
Dr. Varnadoe. why you should object 20
seriously 20 having a model cOwsiip addcd
10 your collection OF plants" The doe
tors frowning face relaxed An San
born" he retoTted. You see. this was
only a worthless bulTush-'
x z x
Il Is only tactiful people who should DC
allowed 10 give personal renlnlscences.
but unfortunately they ara rot the only
ones who do give them.
How well remember your father
when I was little giris' lately said an
elderly woman 70 a Newcastle clergy
man. He used % come often 70 our
house 70 dinner. We were always DE-
Lighted % see him. children and sl"
That IS very pleasant 70 hear said
the clergyman with a smile, but the
narrator remained gravely unconscious
OF his interruption
7 remember Rhat a hearty appetite
he had" she continued. bianlly. 1T
was a real pleasure % see hin eat Why.
When mother would see him coming along
the road u "A morning ahe'3 send ne
running out 20 the cook ana Eav- Ten
Mary 70 pat or fist twice go much q
everything as she had PLANNED. Tor here
IS 8Ir. Brown coming To dine sith os.
The eminent son endeav0rsd - Trezerre
a n-orer expression ~ confidence br1t
c0mrosgrr was soreiv tired. Fnens vita .
great c1rdi7liry. tn@ lady cai1
'sEos are 80 rauch IKE y91r father
Wont voc cone home with IS ard dine
AFTER Tie rer-fee
ssz
---rf-r- ~~4~rT-f ssrrrren from Ire