The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1902-08-07
!. northern woman with sharp features.

Our. southern women don't carry
poodle dogs around with them; they
prefer baby. Well, she was very in
dignant, and wanted to know what she
must do with her dog. "Put him inthe
baggage car" said the conductor. As
she handed up the canine to the bag
gage man she said: "Well, reckon
can ride where my dog rides" and she
went into the baggage car. The man
was Disguised. He tied the dog with .
little cord and she squatted on q boz
nearby. After they passed Sanford
she got tired, and untying the dog took
him in her arms and went back to the
smoker. That car was full of jolly
good fellows, but she demanded seat
and they gave her one. She took one
half and laid her poodle on the other
half. A jolly Dutchman sat behind
her and was smoking an old pipe that
gave an unearthly odor, and as he
talked and laughed with his companion
the tobacco smoke encircled her classic
head until she couldn't standit and she
turned to him and said with snap:
"No gentleman would smoke in the
presence of lady" "Well. madam"
he said, kindly, "dis is de smokin' car.
It is not de ladies' car. is very sorry
to trouble you wild mine pipe and to-
bacco, but you had better go back to
the ladies' car" "They won't let my
dog 90 in there" said she. dot is very
bad" he said, and kept on smoking. By
and by voluminous cloud like that
which came from the crater of Mont
Pelee rolled over her and in her rage
she seized his pipe, jerked it from his
mouth and threw it out Of the window.
Everybody laughed and roared and he
joined in the merriment. Madam, dot
is all de pipe hav got. It vas give to
me in Sharmany, but vun good turn de-
serves another, and he seized her little
sleeping dog and threw him out of the
window. The woman screamed with
anger; she mauled him over the head
with her umbrella. She screamed and
yelled for the train to stop. He stood
it all heroically. Madam, sent your
dog to find mine pipe" he said. The
alarm was SO great that the conductor
came running in and some passengers
filed the door, while the woman did
the talking. "My husband will meet
me at Orlando" she said, land he will
maui the juice out of you. you bald
headed rascal" 'fVeel, will give. him
chance" said he. The train soon rolled
up to Orlando, and sure enough the
woman's husband was there. She be-
came violent and hysterical as she told
her wrongs and pointed out the man.
"Let him come out here" said the hus-
band; 81 dare him to come out here"
"Veel, suppose I must see about de
fight" said the Dutchman, "and take
de medicine, but shore don't want no
little guns in it nor butcher knives. I
can fight some mid mine fists" He
took off his coat and handed it to by
stander. The crowd increased. The
conductor said he would stop the train
for ten minutes. A ring was made for
the men to fight in and everybody was
in state of high expectation. Here
my friend stopped his narrative and
Lit fresh cigar and commenced talk
ing about something else. "But the
fight" said I, what about the fight?"
"Oh! there wasn't any fight" he said.
"Just as they were about to clutch
somebody cried out: "Look yonder!
look yonder! look down the railroad
track" And sure enough there came
the little dog running with ali his
| might and he had the Dutchman's pipe
in his mouth. Of course there was no
fight, for the Dutchman seized his pipe
and the woman her dog and that set
tied it. Now let the preacher tell one"
And he did. There are no better story
tellers than our Gainesville preachers.
They revive me whenever they come,
for I am sick at heart and can't get
breath enough. Good letters from
friends and kindred come every day
and my ever thoughtful friend Joe
Brown sent me the most beautiful
spoon ] ever saw-Georgia silver and
Georgia etchings and .engravings.
Blessings on him and his house.
BILL ARP.