New-York tribune., 1902-05-05
LOCAL ITEMS BY REUBEN BLOsSOH.

We are reliably Informed that our esteemed towns
man Colonel Abe" Grubers got religion and has
sWS5S gS off s5 saving things about his his neigh69rs We
about saying things. we mean.
We have been studying Police Commissioner
Jerome's case the past week, but being kind Of new
in the saddle can't quite size him up yet p. S.-As
we go to press discover that erred in calling
MN Police Commissioner Mistakes will happen
The Honorable Senator Jones, of Arkansas. passed
us on Park Row yesterday. The Senator is working
hard TO get all the ant-monopolists into his round
cotton bale trust He informed sub that he
was not understood politically.
our esteemed townsman Lewis Nixon IS Just doing
his spring poughinP on some Of his district farms.
Mr.. Nixon says it's than building ships.
plough that he left out night the Tim sui
livan acre patch was stolen and ratified by some
dark. untutored wretch Better luck next time,
Richard Croker. writing from his frugal castle IN
England, says that last week he run across silver
plate left by the Romans, r. c. but that ii was
nailed down. It strikes that those old Romans
knew their business Mr.. Croker is running a large
milk route in vantage and collects his pay IN & ad.
when he lived on this side.
BY the time the Beef Trust lets loose we suppose
the Ice Trust will resume business at the same old
stand
after our towusman John +. Mcdonald gets his
railroad built will be that the ride from the city
Hall TO The Bronx will be over so quick that there
modern mod life have their disadvantases
Senator Depew has ,ust begun pioushing on mis-
Peekskin farm. We understand he uncovered sew
eraI interesting things lost 10y his ancestors In the
Revolutionary War ana his friends expect 10 near
about them in his next speech
These are the days when the city fisherman buys
SO worth Of fish poles and flies and goes forth 10
tempt the speckled beauties only 10 find that old
pepper box full of fish worms Is a good enough
dinner for the most aristoerauc trout IN that eyer Yer
waggled fin. The city man ls welcomed 10 tle
rural districts though. Country people like variety
Judge OImsted last week discharged a
rested for profanity. II seems the man was stand
ing on n small box holding heavy picture, and his
wife went downstairs 10 get some picture frame
wire and forgot what she went for and sat down to
read the morning paper. We always SAID Judge
Olmsted had horse sense
J. x. p. writes us from Osborne Hollow 10 know
II the Farmers Loan and Trust Company goes very
heavy on second mortgages. We hasten 10 inform
J. X = that they amt any easier to work than
lots Of other things that sound easy but amt.
The newest song is "Christopher Columbus a
Coon" Il beats all how Booker T. Washugton's
Tuskeegee boys are discovering new facts
new line of Poniser's pills at Dr. Singers
Now is the time to plant sweet peas If they're
going 10 amount shucks later on
Porterhouse and bone sirloin steak taken on sub
scription while the Beef Trust is on the rampage
Polisers pills just the thing for that behind
with-your-rent feeling In April
Mayor Low seems 20 be a good deal better ten
ant for tho city Hall than that other man. Work
ing a farm or shares IS well enough. but the
Mayor says he's against the idea as applied to the
City Hall
Commissioner Lindenthal has favored this
department with his usual weekly scheme for
Hevng the crush the bridge. Our readers will
have TO wait till next week foc his valuable con-
tribution.
President Cassatt has his hired men work
in Thirty-thrd and Thirty-fourth SITS making
soundings for his underground road. Guess
the folks that started the story about the Quaker
City people being slow had better retract at once.
Alderman McTnnes hereby wishes TO thank the
kind friends in the board that his pay from
$1,000 2,50O year. He amt got his raise yet.
The miserable human specimen that took the
liberty Of abstractng a set speech Art and
Other Useless Things" from the spring overcoat
of Alderman Bridges last Tuesday will not be
prosecuted II he retJrn IL before the next session
of the board.