The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-03-15
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.

a QUmGb14C CUmEOx.
"Do you change the position of the
furniture when you clean a room -
inquired housewife No. 1 of friend
in the course of heart to heart talk.
"Do 1? Why, yes, indeed I
don't feel as if the room is cleaned
unless I change the furniture little
bit. Do your"
"Well, 1 usually change the orna-
ments around and so forth, but in
the spring and all fall I like to change
everything in room-completely
alter the whole appearance of it. Then
/ fancy the things are all new, and
they seem to look prettier somehow.
But, do you know, my husband does
not like it at all P'
"Neither does mine. Isn't that
singular? Men are SO peculiar p
eyes, indeed they are p
So many housekeepers share the
views of these two that story with
a moral will not be out Of place.
1t was the other night only that
Mr.. Blank went unsuspiciously up
stairs to bed at an unusually early
hour, leaving his wife reading in the
sitting room. He had headache
and carried a goblet of water in his
right hand. Fearlessly advancing
into the dark bedroom Mr.. Blank
suddenly felt both legs violently cut
from under him. He clutched wild
1y at the air and said several things
of an explanatory nature, but there
was nothing to save him. He went
down.
Good gracious, Henry p ejacu-
lated Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the
scene of disaster. "What is the mat
ter? Where are you? Why don t
you light the gasp Suiting the ac-
ton to the word, she behe1d her hus-
band sprawling across the bed the
glass he had carried had discharged
its contents across the pillowshams
and shivered on the floor.
Mr.. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that of
all the blankety blank folly of which
the mind could conceive this of chang
ing furniture around was the worst.
He said it was pretty thing for a
man to walk into his own room and
have to fall over things in the dark.
He said he wouldn't stand it; the
furniture must be replaced where it
formerly stood.
81 shan't do anything of the kind, "
replied Mrs. Blank. ut looks very
much nicer where it is. Why don t
you feel where you are going when
you get get into dark room?"
"S'pose you'd like to crawl in on
all fours p snarled Mr.. Blank. 'I
couldn't feel where the bed was un-
less I happened to touch the foot
board. / thought could walk clear
over to the bureau. 1 tell you it's a
confounded crank you have on this
subject. Some day you'll precipitate
a serious accident"
IF any one precipitates, it'll be
you, I should think, retorted Mrs.
Blank icily. And the furniture re-
mained where it was.
It was the next evening that Mas
ter Blank undertook to carry pile of
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had a bottle of
ink in his hand, and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of his peregrina-
tions in search of it, however, he
came into violent collision with the
glass door of the bookcase, which he
broke. There were also inky traces
discernible on the carpet when Mrs.
Blank came in. This time there was
some balm for her feelings. She
could spank Master Blank and did it
with the best will in the world.
Her own downfall was not long in
coming, however, although for few
days only minor iDconveniences were
met with, such as the abrasions of
ankles against chair rockers and
slight bruises received by means of
sudden contact with unforeseen OBJ
stacles. Last evening Mrs. Blank
undertook to transfer the cage of her
pet parrot from the window where it
spends the day to the snug corner
where it passes the night. She did
not trouble to light the gas, and by
some unaccountable mental lapse she
had forgotten the precise point at
which tabouret, on which stood a
jardiniere, was stationed. She charg-
ed into the tabouret with considera-
BILE force, was overbalanced by the
weight of the cage in her arms and
took header with a resounding
crash. The parrot shrieked. and, un-
able to distinguish friend from foe,
inflicted a severe bite on her mistress
finger. Mr.. Blank came in hurried
1y, picked up his wife and assisted in
making an inventory of sundry con-
tusions. Then they lifted the parrot
cage, badly bent, and the jardiniere
with a piece chipped out of it and the
tabouret somewhat scratched, and
then Mr.. Blank observed quietly: