davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

1 "What day?" was the next question.
 The twenty-third," was the answer. There was nothing mysterious in those questions. All the teachers at school ask ed them each year. He made some lightning calculation on his slate. Then it came. He wrote the names Bessie and George on the slate.
 Do those names remind you of any friend?" Now that Bessie was mas ter stroke of genius. I had a string of them running through my memory, the last being the greatest of them all. She married on the twelfth of last Noyem- Der.
 George was a mystery to me. I had never borrowed money from any one by that name. Q. E. D.-I had no recollec- tion of a friend by that name. He insist ed I had. but I failed to materialize so he dropped it. Next was Ed. Yes, knew him quite well. He took my picture once with a broken camera He's my friend all right.
 Now hold your hands on the corners of these slates," said the seer. He held the other two corners. He had picked up four slates, leaving my writing exposed so 1t could be seen, but l was in the dark We put the slates back on the pile He took up his. slate and made some
  | woman named Mary. 1 knew 1t was coming.
 Am to marry Mary?" I asked
 No You and she will be the greatest of friends and love each other Money will keep you from marrying. Some fe- male friend of hers will influence her against you"
 Nothing but jealousy" I volunteered to aid him. Her cousin is following me now and making my life perfect hades on earth"
 "As I said. something will come be- tween you and Mary. You will get mar red to another girl. It will be in nine months. You will marry a second time when about thirty-five or forty The first marriage will be for money. The second for love"
 You are interested in stock transac- tions of some kind. Sc. out at once. If you wait a few days longer there will, however be more money in it. You must sell before the thirtieth of May If you don't then you will sell before July 10. You will become immensely wealthy In middle life. I see troubles for you about your money.'
 That's all right" I spoke up, just as long as I have the money"
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

tween her palms she took my right hand. Suddenly she stiffened and then sank backwards with her eyes closed and her muscles drawn. I thought of all the remedies I had read in George Ade for women in faints.
 Then her muscles twitched. She open cd her mouth and then her eyes.
 Tt is all right" she said 'I will soon be able to talk to you. l am faint now"
 I didn't feel all right. If she had not been holding my hand so tight 1 would have bolted for glass of water.
 She then told me l was to be great Think of it. She didn't say whether 1t was by inventing a flying machine or new patent medicine. But I am to be great The soothsayer said so.
 My vision was not quite clear. l need sleep on it. Can you come again in sev- eral days. l will then tell you whether to sell your oil stock or to hold 1t for the big boom.
 You have been unfortunate at one time in life You had great sorrow and it was recently. I see 1t is this little hidden line here" How she found any line was a mystery to me the dirt was so thick by that time l agreed I had met with sor- row. I wonder how she knew 1t. Think of having three Queens and a pair of Jacks beaten. Four Aces did 1t too. Was that sorrow or bad luck?
 Then she told me of my health. Having bad cold and being hardly able to talk she lad picnic on that portion of the reading. She declared it was in the chest or throat 1 guess 1t was. I had the pains and know exactly where they were coughed enough to give her room to tell me where l caught the cold, but she didn't take the bait.
 You are brave. Just look at Mount Mars. It is well formed and shows you will stand up and fight to the finish" l wondered If there was bulldog look about my face, but was afraid to ask.
 You make friends easily' quoth the presence. Now you're fattering" I an- swered. She failed to catch that or did not deign to reply. You have number of friends They all seem to have"
 Their hamm CTS out I volunteered for she seemed to stick at some word. Hav- ing gone so far I was game for another. Will you kindly give me the names and addresses of the hammer and anvil club? Then I remembered 1t was nearly dinner time. I left
 Next l wendcd my way up flight of stairs to a suite of nicely furnished rooms. A woman was leaving the seer
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

fully two-thirds of the body weight, an actual constituent of the tissues. It must be remem- bered that in carrying the blood cells water is the bearer of food to every part of the body, while it maintains the heat necessary to life as 1t courses through the veins and arteries. As lymph 1t gathers up the refuse and the waste materials and carries such matter eff for elimination. 1t must be remembered that water is the lubricator which permits the action of joints without fric- tion, the movements of the lungs in breathing, the movements of the heart in the pericardium, the functions of swallowing, of speak ing, of taste, and the movements of the food in digestion. It mixes with the food, permitting it to move smoothly in the stomach and intcstines and permitting the digestive fermehts to act upon it, and these ferments themselves come in contact with the food
The age-herald., 1902-04-27
THEIR METHODS AND THE QUES, TONS ON WHICH THEIR AM SWERS AGREE. ST E E T

You will make two large fortunes. Both will be by speculation. The stock is low now. I can see you buying it and it going up rapidly. You will make a fortune"
 Am I to marry soon?' asked.
 ''Yes. Your first marriage will be in nine months. She will be small and dark complexioned. She will have plenty of money and you will marry for that" I should have told him what the other presence said. but I forgot-thinking of my good fortunes to come CD.
 Then he reinstated the slates- He turn ed up the one which belonged to me. Slowly wiped 1t dry with & damp sponge. "The other name of Mary was John ston. Was 1t not?" he asked
 ''Yes." I replied and wondered where he found out.
 Your first name is Frank. Is it not?"
 "Yes," said and wondered again.
 ''The last is Bell. Is it not7''
 Yes" was the response and wore out my wondering ability.
 We left the slates and took trip by palmistry. He drew the lines of my hand slate.
 'The life line Is long. You will live 6s years, possibly 69." Same thing the other one told me- How strange.
 "I see money cross the line early and l later I see lines of worry cross it. Your money will be a worry to you. Your line of love and marriage Is strong. You will be married twice. Once after you are thir- ty-hve. It comes from Mount Venus.
 What is my nature?" I questioned. You are happy and make friends cas- l fly"
 But pause a minute. forgot to tell what he said of my occupation wrote on the slate was a clerk. Being a re- porter I have the right to stretch the truth. He told me in a short time he saw me travelling on the road with several large sample eases in my hands. That I would be a successful drummer.
 With a parting piece of advice he let me go. forgot to tell him Mary was ficti- cious name.
 "If you will come to me for five weeks I can give you a magnetic treatment which will give you complete power over the woman you love. She will have to love you. Think you had better take it?''
 mo thank youed." He mentioned it again and said I would come back for the treatment. I disappeared down the steps. I wanted to find Mary CD and tell her about it. Will the blonde be jealous? Any way I was tired of soothsayers. I believe one of the two must be wrong.
The age-herald., 1902-04-27
The Modern Fable of the Unfor- tunate Has-Been and the
 Sympathetic Conductor.

In an open-faced Car sat glib rerson and a decrepit Old Gentleman with a haggard and sorrowful Frontispiece.
 The two dropped into a Conver- sation and soon began opening up their Private Affairs, according to the Western Fashion. The glib Party told how much he was drawing and how he invested 1t and all about several gigantic Schemes that he had under his Cuff. The Antique with the pail bearing Face did not enthuse.
 Young Man, you will learn that Life is a series of wasted Oppor- tunitieS and vain Regrets" he said. When you are all in and a new Generation comes along and gives you good swift Bump and you light on your Back over by the Fence, then you can lie there and look up at the Sky and count the Good Things that got past you"
 With that, the broken-hearted Patriarch sprang a lonely Bundle of Hard Luck Tales He pointed out a Corner Lot now valued at Half Million that had been of fered to him for $350. Once he had been given a Chance to trade a secondhand Buggy for half interest in a Patent that nettcd
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

held in suspension in water. In the form of sweat, water is evap- orated from the body, checking and reducing temperature which would otherwise DC intolerably high. Just as important as all of these functions are to life, so im- portant is water to life, and it is reasonable to suppose that when the water supply Is withdrawn one and all of these important parts of the phenomenon of life will suffer more and more until death supervenes.
 So in general way we may sec that the ingestion of water Is es- sential to life and essential to health, and it may be safely said that the health will improve in exact ratio to the amount of pure water taken in. Rarely do we find man who drinks pure water freely enough, never have we known of any one being injured by an excess of the right kind of drinking water.
 An eminent physician has call
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

To fully understand why the omission of 8 liberal amount of drinking water is so grave a crime against the laws of health VIC must understand what water can do in the prevention of disease, and to realize this fully we must know tho function Of drinking water in health.
 A most scientific and dlscrimi- mating professor in physiology asked his advance class the chief use of water to tho body and he was well satisfied with the sim pie and practical answer, ITO wash the body out" The internal bath is far more essential to health than the external bath; just as much more important as the internal organs are to it than the skin, and 1t must be obvious that for cleansing these organs pure, clean water is essential. The water which brings in filth and disease germs may flush out the poisonous products which are
The age-herald., 1902-04-27
MODERN FABL ES BY GEORGE ADE ?

just Rlghts?. Not on your Dreamy Eyes. Watch me-"
 He cut for an Alley and began trying every Back Door. He would rap three times on a Bluff and say Its me-" but there was noth- ing doing.
 However, he was not to be thwaried. Tn the absence of the Blind lg and the Speak-Easy. he fell back on the Prescription Gag. Inquiring his way, he walked Blocks to Physicians Residence and caught the Doc just as he was starting t. Church. He gave Doc the K. P. Grip and begged him to save a Life. He said he had Cramps end nothing but large Slug of the Scandinavian Joy Producer would relieve his Agony. Doc wrote: Spirits Frumenti- take as directed" and said it would come to One Dollar.
 Then the Sufferer went out to find Drug Clerk. After long Search he found MT. Higginson of the Peoples Pharmacy, down at Main Street Bridge, pushing a Baby Carriage. At first the Drug giet baked on opening up, but the Traveller said he was Dying Man and handed over good ten-cent Cigar.
 At Z P. M. he went back to the Hotel wearing in his Pistol Pocket a Flask of Squirrel Whiskey, the color cf Kerosene. He was flushed and happy, for he had made a Monkey of the Law. He invited two other Drummers up to 62. They pulled down the Curtains
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

Pay-Roll and it did seem to him Eat a lot of big lazy Lummixes were standing around the Shop .o4Gg the Soldier Act. He learned to snap his Fingers every time the Office Boy giggled. As for the faithful old Book-Keeper who wanted an increase to $9 and weeks Vacation in the Summer, the best he got was little Talk about Contentment being Jewel.
 The Associate Partner played Simon Legree, all except the makeup. The saddest moment Of the Day for him was when the whole Bunch knocked off at 6 o'clock in the Evening. It seemed Q Shame to call 10 Hours a Full Day. As for the Saturday Half Holiday Movement, that was little better than Highway Robbery. Those who formerly slaved along side of him in the Galleys had to address him as Mister and he had them numbered the same as Con Yicts.
 One Day an Underling ventured to remind the Slave-Driver that once he had been the Friend of the Salaried Minion.
 Right you are" said the Boss. But when l plugged for the low ly Wage-Earner l never had been in the Directors Office to see that beautiful Tableau entitled Virtue copping out the Annual Dividend.' I don't know that I can make the Situation clear to you, so 1 will merely remark that all those who get on our side of the Fence are able to catch new Angle on this Salary Question"
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

constantly being generated in the body; but it brings with it matter just as injurious or more injurious than that which it has eliminated.
 We must recognize that there are diseases which are essentially water born," in which class we find cholera, dysentery, and. far more important, typhoid fever. Of typhoid q noted sanitarian said: For every death from this dis case the severest penalty should be meted out to some one who is responsible for the water supply" It may be said dogmatically that @ pure water supply will absolute ly preclude the possibility or these diseases.
 While pure water has this pre- ventive or "prophylactic" power, we must bear In mind that those poisonous products of life which water is supposed to wash out through the bowels, the kidneys and the skin, accumulate rapidly and produce large class of dis eases known as "auto-intoxica-
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

to the show, or sends nice boxes of candy for me to give her. am to dread that rival or he would be useless. He is the real article.
 Both asked me to call again. The wo- man promised to give me an insight into the best times to invest my money. She predicts great fortune for me. She beg ged to be allowed time to sleep on the matter. There were cobwebs In her vis- ions when she went into the trance. She could not see plainly. If I would come back she would tell me more about it. As I only wanted it for story I don't think I will go.
 There was a woman being soothed when I arrived. I was seated and waited pa tiently for my time. Another woman came while l was there, but my money looked best It belonged to the office.
 The woman was the first presence I en- countered. She held my hand or hands all through the performance. got my moneys worth there. She had two read ings. One 50 cents and one worth $1. took a dollars worth. I waited breath lessly.
 You will live to be 6S years old" said the presence. That was disappointing. had hoped to be at least three score and ten. The old maids in the village whence I hail often predicted I would die vio- lent death before I was thirty. They don't know. The soothsayer says l will be old.
 Between thirty and forty great wealth will come to you" she continued, you can get an automobile and drive coaches and four like Willie Vanderbilt" I grasped her hand and held 1t tight shak- ing it cordially. That was great news. She frowned and discouraged my glad ness. Then I sprung the great question::
 l,,I1 I -11I oil 1ND H. .t.. replied, close 1t all out at once" Dear reader you can have it cheap now. Come one come all and buy.
 Shall I invest my money in Birming-
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

tions." The accumulation of such toxines gives rise to rheumatism, gout, sore threats, common colds, headaches, and a long train of maladies with which laymen and physician are equally familiar The faulty action of these elimi- native organs is responsible for the piling up of poisons, lowering the resistence of the body to dis ease, destroying tho so-called natural immunity" and permit ting freer action of the disease germs which may have gained &C., cess to tho body in any way. Thus it may be seen that the simple me- chanical action of pure water, in dissolving these poisons and flushing them out, may prevent a long list of pathological condi- tlons or may euro such conditions by simply removing the cause.
 But the flushing out and cleans ing action of water is by no means its only important func- tion. It must be remembered that water is food, making up
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

ed attention to the fact that many cases of indigestion may be remedied by proper cleansing of the mouth and teeth. How much more important is the cleansing of those more impor- tant digestive organs-the stom- ach and intestines?
 Let him who will not drink for any other reason, do so as a mat ter of toilet, as a matter of clean liness. Let him endeavor to give to his inner man as much good, pure, soft water as he would use in keeping clean his outer man. While he may not be able to in- gest so great a quantity of pure water as this, in his effort so to do he will take in larger amount than is his custom, and he will receive greater returns for his effort at internal cleanli- ness in the way of health and vigor than he could ever hope to gain from most constant applica- tion to the bath tub and scrub ping brush.
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

an unjust or cruel action done to a human being or beast Of bur den, for fear I would make my self conspicuous by interfering!
 Have I failed to give praise and show my appreciation for du- ties we'll done by those With whom I associate or who are In my employ?
 Have I left unuttered the love I hold in my heart for those nearest and dearest to me?
 Have I avoided meeting any de- serving person whom l might have given a little help along life's road without detrim& to my own duties?
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

Then there is still another page of questions and answers for your book. Here they are:
 Have I done what I could in my situation to make the most of myself, physically, mentally and morally, today? Have filled every lung cell with fresh air even once? or have I breathed more like a canary bird or an in- sect without lungs than like a human being?
 Have exercised even five min utes in the open air?
 Have l opened the pores of my body by even sponge bath?
 Have I taken my food leisurely and in moderate quantities, or
The age-herald., 1902-04-27
 x
BY ELLEN WHEELER WILCOX
S -s x BY W. R HEARST. S

have I stuffed myself like an ana conda, and hurried the stuffing process?
 Have I drunk harmless and healthful liquids, or filled myself with stimulants and drugs?
 Have I read one line that has helped me to think more clearly and broadly, or have I been sat isfied to scan the head lines of daily crimes and tragedies?
 Have I talked on one subject for two minutes, or thought on one more uplifting than business gossip or the days scandals? Have I felt one silent wish in my heart to be better, more use- ful, and greater factor in the
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

HERE are some tHllSS III lhe NEp future a man should know.
 Is know what has been. I wanted
 9 To know what Is to be. My friends were not capable of telling me.
 rescued to the soothsayers. I was afraid to base my actions in the future on jus; one so I went to all available. which was two. l wish there had been more. II WAS great sport.
 Tho chief worry Of my life has been tho disposiaon of large blocks of oil stock. They both advised me to dispose of 1t as soon as possible. One disappear ed spiritually into a trance. The other said sell before May 30. The fact that do not possesss7any oil'stock did not make any difference. aT1he ore In the trance saw rivers of oil flowing from the ground not many leagues from Birmingham I may have oil stock some day ana Inen will know what to do,
 The first thought was my future wealth. am to have plenty of money. They both said SO. Thanks. dear seers. But they failed 10 tell mo where I could get money enough to pay for existing. It costs so much ;r Birmingham.
 My rivals in love. How many I have. Their compkxion. Their disposition. Do they hate me7 Ali these were matters of interest left 1t 70 the soothsayers. I have a rival. He Is tall and short. blue eyed as well as black and hair to match. The soo:hssyers sad so. He hates me. That ,s to be expected. He spends the night whetting g dangerous knife which he ever and anon hur,s at an oil painting of mo wber was In school,
 rival who would not do that would not be worth having. Something would be wrong with him. 1 don't want one that sends mo thaatre tickets to take the girl
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

us ought to do in our own daily lives; for is not character of more importance than any other busi- ness before the world today?
 What Is all the mercantile and financial business for? is it not a means of contributing to hu- man welfare and happiness? And Of what avail is it, If the moral character of human beings is be- low par?
 Each night of your life, there fore, before you sleep. take your trial Balance. Say to yourself, What have I done today that harmed or hurt any living thing? Have I wronged man or woman
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

by action or word? Have I re- peated an unauthenicated bit of gossip, or helped a story of an- others evil doing to spread?
 Have I trespassed on another's rights, or taken more than be- longed to me in the business, so- cial, or domestic realm?"
 After you have jotted down a mental reply to all these ques- tons in your minds ledger, turn over a leaf and write answers to the following queries:
 What have I done to help an- other? Have I spoken a cheering word to some discouraged soul? Have I been silent when l saw
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

IN all the banks in the land, II every day after banking II hours, behind closed doors. <S men are taking what htey call "a trial balance" Many large mercantile houses do the same.
 Tho business of the day has to be carefully gone over, and every penny received, every penny spent. accounted for. The house ia never closed until every item relative to profit or loss is clear ly put down in black and white. Even if it requires working f9 into the night, the trial balance IS completed.
 This is just what each eus of
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

worlds highest progress than I am? or have only wished to pe wealthier?
 Have I sent out desire to be helpful to suffering humanity, or have merely been impatient to possess greater wealth and pow CT?
 Have I sent up one grateful thought for my blessings, or only complaints of my misfortunes?
 Answer every one of these questions before you consider the mental trial balance complete. And then you can decide whether the day has been one of profit or loss.
 ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

to kick myself"
 At the next Corner the ancient Wreck alighted and tottered on his Way.
 'Is it not Sad Case?" said the Young Man to the Conductor. How bitter must be his Reflec- tions when he counts up what he might have nailed, if he had been Foxy
 Yes, feel very sorry for him." said the Humane Conductor, who was drawing $S per Week. "All he can show is a measly Two Mill lions. What breaks his heart is that he doesn't own both sides of the Street and the Green Cars that run in between
 MORAL: The Kicker is the Man who gets Part of it.
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

1Gple of Thouss nd each Day. The Stock in the Street Railway Company he closed out at 2. Afterward it went to 293.
 q used to own the Ground where the First National stands,' he said, with Tears in his Eyes. Like a blithering Pin-Head, traded it for a Team of Mules. If I hadn't been all kinds of a Ninny, l could have got in on the Ground Floor of the Standard oil. And now I'm getting too old and weak
The age-herald., 1902-04-27

wealthy" Unanimous Shall oil stock?" Yes. Unanimous. Shall real estae?" Yes. Unanimous loved? Unanimous. brunette?" Blonde1, Brunette l. marry?" said Tn short tme the other declared.
 Have rval?' Yes
 pathway through life be with roses?' Yes vexaon coming to me-" No.