davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
lnyEs7loArlNo "wAreR cuRe.r
How Such a Case Would BE Handled
Before Judge and Jury,


How Such a Case Would BE Handled
Before Judge and Jury.
IL the water cure" as praeticed in
the Philippines, were investigated in
open court by our judge, jury and wit
ness system here at home, says the
Ohio State Journal. we might expect
a dialogue between the plaintiff and his
attorney, who begins the conversation
something like the following:
What is your name?'
t'JoSe Emilio de Songissimo."
(Of course the defendant would at
once object to the witness having a
name like this and the objection would
be noted.)
'tWhat is your nationality"
81 am Filipino"
"What is your business"
81 am engaged in the insurgent busf
ness.''
How long have you worked at that
trader
. About three years."
did you ever hear of the remedy
known as the water cure?'"
Yes, SIR"
t"From whom
1.-The United States soldiers"
did they recommend it highlyY
Very"
For what maladies ?''
'Insurgentitis."
'Dfd they prevail on you to take the
water cure?"
Sir..S Siy Of
vailed on me-"
''Will you state plainly, Jose, to the
jury just how this water cure was
administered"
1.-The soldiers bound me securely and
while five held me the sixth inserted u
hose nozzle into my mouth and turned
on the water.'
."You mean to say, then, that this
water cure is an internal remedy?
Both internal and external, sir; you
see, when my capacity was taxed to
it's utmost the water overfiowed and ran
down my neck and over my person."
"Why did you not protest?"
81 was too full for utterance"
"Will you please state, for the benefit
of the jury, how much water you swal-
lowed, as near as. you can judge"
81 should say about two barrels"
Cat this point the defendant would
object and an expert specialist on the
capacity of the human stomach would
be called on to testify.)
"Will you kindly state to tire jury
what discomfort this caused you, if
any?"
81 experienced moist sensation and
a feeling Of fullness that seemed to
border on the point of explosion. This
was probably due to the fact that
am not ot-accustomed to taking water in
such large quantities."
'Did the soldiers hold any conversa-
ton with you while they We're admin
istering the water cureT"
s.'Yes, they asked me to tell all the
secrets l knew
"Did you do it?''
certainly; l told them all 1 knew,
and more, too."
did the operation impair your thirst
for water?'
Eyes, l drank enough water on that
occasion to last me all summer"
'That is all. Call the next Witness
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

When it comes to baking powder,
every manufacturer says what be
makes is the best. The reason we say
it is that an analysis of all we'll known
brands, including the Monopole, made
by JAS. 81. Fisk, Portland, proves that
Monopole is the strongest and purest Of
all those whose Ingredients have been
put on record. Our custom is not to
put up goods under this brand unless
we can produce better goods than any
others on the market. Ask for them
from your grocer.
WADHAMS & KERR BROS,
Portland.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Reform Movement in England.

'tThe Girls Letter Guild" is the
name of unique reform movement in
England. Women of culture pledge
themselves to write letters of friendly
tone to the girls of the lower classes,
to aid them in their mental and moral
uplifting. The object is to win the
girls friendship, encourage them, and
disabuse them of false notions and
class prejudices. Good results are said
to be already noticeable.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Taking No Chances,

"Doctor," said the fair invalid, ap-
pealingly, "don't you think you could
conscientiousIy advise my husband to
send me to the sea shore for my
health?"
Madam" replied the far-sighted
physician, 81 cannot conscientiously
advise him toi ncur any additional ex-
pense until my bill is paid"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
A Comparison.

Grandpa-I had fellow out walking
yesterday and-well 1 guess tuckered
him out. But then he is old.
Bobie-Why, grandpa, you are 80
yourself.
Well, maybe am; but this fellow
was at least year older"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
An Urgent Necessity.

The were on a pleasure trip. Sud-
denly thoughtful member of the par
ty paused and said:
"Surely something is wrong. 1 feel
that something is amiss. yes! It
has been almost two hours since We
had Mr.. Coe Dakk take a group of
u.s.
And Immediately the matter was at
tended TO-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Out at First.

cftleigh-I-aw-had a most de-
lightful dweam lawst night, doncher
know.
Miss Cutting ng-Indeed!
"Yaws. Il dweamed that we were
mawwied doncher know"
''Had l dreamed-that should have
classed it as horrible nightmare.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Wanted Moneys Worth.

Mr.. Grump-That confounded doctor
charged me IS for telling ma that
there was nothing wrong with me.
Mrs. Grump-Outrageous!
Mr.. Grump-Yes; if he had discov-
cred dangerous symptoms I shouldn't
have minded it in the least.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Bosrs Welcomed to the Northwest.

The arrival of little party of Beers
in the city in quest of-homes in the
Northwest gives ground for the hope
that there will be more to follow. Vi
the sturdy manhood of the Dutch farm
ers of South Africa the world has had
ample evidence in the last three years
and as many of them as may come to
the Northwest will be gladly welcomed
Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Photography in Business.

The camera promises to become as
indispensable in business affairs as the
typewriter. 1t is now being used in
the reproduction of documents. statis-
tical tables and other papers whose
duplication by hand would be laborious
and expensive. In very brief period
the camera reproduces these with ab-
solute correctness and with much labor
saved.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Got His Share.

"I am sorry, doctor, you we're not
able to attend the church supper last
night; it would have done you good
to be there"
"It has already done me good,
madam. 1 have just prescribed for
three of theparticipants.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
A Variety of Reasons.

"Why is she going to the mountains
this year,"
'tOh, she has several reasons. The
doctor has ordered her to GO, her hus-
band has ordered her to stay at home,
and she is sick of the shore and the
country.-Judge.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
nI, vvlah eehe.d.

e'I weuld like something With =
check in it'' said the slow-paying
customer 10 the tailor.
$50 would IT, replied the tailor
coldly with an unmistakable meaning
in the words.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Followed Instructions.


''Now, Mr.. Finnishedde," said Prof
Teachem, II hope you have selected
your graduation subject in accordance
with my suggestion that it deal with
something that has helped to uplift hu-
manity."
81 have, SIR" answered the graduate.
81 have prepared an elaborate thesis ON
the Rise and Fall of the Elevator -
Baltimore American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
In a HIGHER Position.

"Me darter Nora is goin' t. marry
Casey, that wurrucks in the basement
of that buildin'. BIT Oh do be tillin'
her that she moight hev looked
higher"
"Indade?"
"Yis; she cud hov hod Murphy, that
wurrucks on the top story of the same
skyscraper."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Getting Reckless.

She-I am surprised at James stay
ing out in the boat all this time with
comparative stranger. A woman of
80 is old enough to know better.
He-Aren't you afraid she is toe old
to know better?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
The Place to Show 1t.

TEST suppose she'll go to the noun
tains this summer, as usual?
Jess-Oh, no. She has become quite
plump and has developed good figure
TeSs-WeH?
Jess-Well, she'll go to the seashore
of course.-Philadelph Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Tt Cnres While You Walk.

Allen 8 Foot-Ease makes tight and new shoes
feel easy 1t is a certain cure for sweating, cal
lous and swollen, tired hot, aching feet Try it
oday. At all dru ggists, Csc. Trial package mail
ed FREE. Adress Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy,
NY
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

1--WE are making you lots of trouble"
and "This is the best l ever ate," con-
stitute the sole conversation of the
average guests at . trI>'~
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

GeF@ Permanently Cured No fts nervousness
EtHU after first days useo of DR.. Kne's Great Nerv
aestorer Send for FREE s. 90 trial bottle and treat
jse Dr. H. KLINE Ltd. .93l Arch St. Philadelphia, Pa
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

Mothers will find Mrs. WinsIow's Sooth-
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

The well-posted druggist advises you
to use Hamlin's Wizard Oil for pain,
for he knows what it has done.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

Clara-Was it . case OF love on her
part, do you think?
Maude-It certainly was. Why,
she gave up position paying salary
of SIS week to marry him, and he is
only getting ten.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

About six weeks after the wolf ap-
pears at mans door, it looks to him
as If it We're holding a family reunion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
PELVIC cATARRH
CAUSES

Palpitation of the heart, cold hands
and feet, sinking feelings Pe-ru-na
cures catarrh wherever located.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

4 man told three lies this morning to
save a dollar, and then put up the
money.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Proved.

Aunt Hannah-But how do you
know you love him Carrie?
Carrie Whenever he says some
thing nice about me am willing to let
him believe think he is saying just
what he means.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Contagious
BEOOdPOESOn

There is no poison so highly contagious,
90 deceptive and so destructive. Don't be
too sure YOU are cured because all external
signs of the disease have disappeared, and
the doctor says you are well. Many per-
sons have been dosed with Mercury and
Potash for months or years, and pro-
nounced cured to realize when too late
that the disease was only covered up
like Begess Like. surfsee ases tfom to breas eae
out again, and to their sorrow and nortif-
cation find those nearest and dearest to
them have been infected by this loath-
some disease, for no other poison is so
surely transmitted from parent to child
as this. Often a bad case of Rheumatism,
Catarrh, Scrofula or severe skin disease,
an old sore or ulcer developing in middle
life, can be traced to blood poison con-
T., traessa sa.,a The Sin Of the Parent.
life, for it remains smoldering in the sys-
tenn forever, unless properly treated and
driven out in the beginning. S. S. S. Is
the only antidote for this peculiar virus,
the only remedy known that can over
come it and drive it out of the blood, and
it does this so thoroughly and effectually
that there is never a return of the disease
to embarrass or humiliate you afterwards.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Took No Chances,

"Mr. Crimes said the rec tor to the
vestryman "we had better take up the
collection before the sermon this morn
ing"
"Indeed?'
eyes. I am going to preach on
economy"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

People shake hands on mighty small
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

Ter known that cleanses the blood and
at the same time builds up the general
health
Our little book on contagious blood
poison is the most complete and instruc-
tive ever issued: it not only tells all
about this disease, but also how to cure
yourself at home. 1t is free and should
be in the hands of everyone seeking Q
cure. Send for It.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
Hoods JdrsdpdrilLd

strengthens and tones the stomach and
the whole digestive system.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19
The Sin Of tho Parent.

cures Contagious Blood
Poison in any and all
stages; contains nc
mineral to break down
your constitution il is
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-08-19

You don't and can't if your stomach is
weak. A weak stomach does not digest
all that is ordinarily taken into it. It
gets tired easily, and what it fails to dl-
gest is wasted.
Among the signs OF weak stomach
are uneasiness after eating, fits of ner-
vous headache, and disagreeable belch-
inr
Evening star., 1902-02-15
FACTS ABOUT LoBSTERS.
Where They Come From and Their
Commercial Value

From the New York Tribune.
Notwithstanding the fact that Holsters In
these days bring prices high as 10 bar
them from freQu>nt use on the tables OF
the multitude, it is said that not less than
10000 or 10000 are consumed weekly in this
city. One cause OF the high price Is un-
doubtedly the shortneSs of the season in
which they may be caught in Nova Scotia
and the provinces. and which lasts only"
from January to July. The law in this
country prcScribcS no time for catching
Holsters, but il requires that they shall
measure al least nine inches in length and
that any below that size shall be returned
to the water The Holsters in the market
vary in size from three-quarters Of pound
to three pounds although during the sum
mer months they are sometimes caught
near Sandy Hook weighing from ten Il f-
teen pounds.
In the report of the United States fish
commission of 1900 il is shown that Maine
is far in the lead in lobster catching. while
Massachusetts. Rhode Island Connecticut
and New Hampshire follow in the order
named. The aggregate value of the catch
of these states in 1900 was 81 .:;6261a while
the combined catch of New York New Jer-
sey and Della ware was only 1860
Evening star., 1902-02-15
CRANKY STREET CARS.
Some Are So Bad as to Be Known as
Hoodoos.

Hoodoos.
The passengers on a City and Suburban
car coming into the city the other morning
of warmth In the car and berating the
company and everybody that could have
had anything to do with the heating Of the
car. The conductor finally spoke up. '1The
company Is not at fault this time" he said.
This is one Of the mean cars on the line.
and no matter what Is done will not be-
come comfortable. There are some cars
that will not heat UP properly, and in
which the heaters will apparently not
work. Electric cars and their apparatus
are as cranky as people sometimes Now,
II this were No. 2O2 she would be as warm
as toast and everybody would be happy.
But this old car never could be handled
properly and Is a regular hoodoo in many
ways.
'Yes. we have hoodoo cars on the street
car lines as we'll as on other railroads, and
the motormen will tell you sometimes that
they quake in their shoes because of the
peculiar mishaps and funny things that
take place with certain cars. There's No.
4O4, one of the big green cars on the Hy-
attsville line. That car is the unluckiest
on the line. 1t is always having acci-
dents. Sometimes 1t burns out but most
of the time 1t is running into something or
somebody. That old car has run down
number OF people and never seems to be
happy unless 1t is running into wagon
Of some kind. The motormen who run 1t
tell me that they see some funny things on
the tracks when they get out in the coun-
try. but I don't know what this has to do
with the car unless the motormen know the
reputation Of the car and imagine all kinds
OF things"
Evening star., 1902-02-15
Accuracy of British Bibles.
From the Liverpool Daily Post

The printing of the Bible is the most
strictly guarded work IL eNistence-a fact
which appe ars strange until We reflect on the
mischief an Inaccurate Bible might bring
about. The kings printers and the two
universities Of oxford and Cambridge give
to the world all the Bibles printed in the
united kingdom, except some printed by
special license y few years ago the ques-
tion arose whether the WGrd spirit in
Matthew iv l. and Mark i. T. should have
a capital IS. II having been previously
printed with small one. ari. although the
word was obviously wrongly printed il
was not until after IL" ruling powers at
the uniVerSti. and the king $ printers had
met in solemn council t!!at leave Was given
TO use the capital letter Nothing sane
toned by authority in lili may he changed
without crt atiEg some hing akin To revolu-
ton in the . ace ) whore Blb.CS are printed.
Evening star., 1902-02-15
Old Paris Disappearing.
From the London Chronicle.

From the London Chronicle.
Those who remember the outcry raised
against Baron Haussmann, the imperial
prefect who drew straight lines across the
map Of Paris, and pitilessly realized his
conceptions, are no longer surprised to find
the program continued. The lengthening of
the Rue de Rennes to the Seine, which will
slice off portion of the venerable Insti
tute, is to be followed by the construction
of bridge between the Pont des Arts and
the Pont Neuf, actually threatening the
latter with demolition. Further improve
ments will be made on the side of the Rue
du Louvre. To lovers of ''Vieux Paris the
vanishing of these buildings and a change
of view inspire sad reflections. A great OBJ
lection is being made to the continuance
Of the Metropolitan under Salpetriere. The
specialists for the mental malades of fe-
male patients affirm that the vibration
caused by passing trains will be hurtful.
The city of Paris will have to contract sew
eral loans for the above alterations
Evening star., 1902-02-15
Ralph Waldo's Spree.
From the Boston Herald.


An alleged tradition tells how Ralph
Waldo Emerson. the sage Of Concord, once
went on q wild, reckless spree. Weary Of
Marcus Aurelius. Alcott and the serene
heights Of Concord, he resolved to make a
plunge into the vortex of crime and folly
In great city, to see vice and the vicious
at close range, and thus learn by experience
of the under world. He went straight to the
saloon of one Brigham, In Boston, in those
days far famed among Harvard students as
the aboriginal inventor Of more "fancy
drinks" than any one else since the days of
Father Bacchus Bewildered by the festive
scene and the endless list Of beverages he
had never before heard of, he asked Brig
ham which one of the whole bibulous cata-
logue might be relied on to impart the
largest sum total of experience in the short
est possible time. To which devout inquiry
genial Brigham-who at once took in the
situation-is said to have replied: "Oh, 1
guess glass of lemonade would be the
right thing for your
Evening star., 1902-02-15

paste the neck over with ghastly white
The painting is done by females of all ages
from little girls to old women.
Other odd shops are the silverSJniths.
where most beautiful cups. pitchers and
other things are sold. Among the curious
articles are silver shields to protect the
long finger nails OF fashionable ladies'
Both sexes allow the nails to grow. and
have seen men who could put the palm of
one hand on their chin and scratch the
back of the neck without moving It, Long
nails. you know. are the signs OF gentle
man. for no one who has nails two or three
inches long can possibly do mental labor.
An Orderly City.
I am surprised at the good order of the
interior Chinese cities. The people are cour-
teous and very polite. In Hangchow 1 am
treated everywhere with Difference. and.
though crowd follows me when 1 attempt
to take pictures no stones are thrown. nor.
far as / can learn, are any rude things
said. We have now grown accustomed to
the Chinese but twenty years ago a party
OF celestialS in gowns would have been
mobbed in many Of our interior towns. and
the boys would probably have thrown stones
at them. Certainly a Chinese woman
dressed as she Is at home could not go
about upon her small feet In our cities
tcday without crowd of boys at her heels
The streets here are so crowded that II
would be impossible to do business II the
people were not very good natured. Very
few policemen are required. In the four
teen miles which l have walked through
Hangchow in going from place to place
have not seen one policeman. Tie only
evidences that there is anything OF the
kind are the black boxes on the side
walks where the police sleep at night In
deed l think the Chinese have been much
maligned as to their ili-trea tment of
strangers. l have travelled many thousand
miles in the empire, and rule have re-
ceyed much courtesy here as in other
parts of the world.
The New China.
The day is fast coming when China Will
be better understood than it is now. This
country is one of the most beautiful of the
world. 1t has picturesque mountains.
grassy plains and green valleys cut up by
canals. 1t is land of sentiment and pc
etry. where even the common people ap
Dreciate learning.
Indeed, everything here has some senti-
ment connected with it. l bought hand
full of beautiful plums the other day, and
remarked on the dimple which each has in
Evening star., 1902-02-15
a8&1a@eHEIEE -

It is easy to become acquainted with the
wrens for they rarely take pains to hide
their nests and are not shy while nesting.
1 have often watched them as they fed
their hungry young with green measuring
worms" In a short time they grow accus
toned to any one sitting near at hand
Sometimes. just as they reach the nest with
worm in bill ready to feed their young. the
desire to sing will overcome them and they
will burst into melody.
Always Cheerful.
Their spirits never seem to flag. They al
ways seem to be in the most buoyant and
pleasing humor. When the hot noon-da y
sun of midsummer has hushed the songs Of
most of the woodland songsters. the wrens
whistle and trill as at dawn.
What a devoted pair these wrens on my
side porch are. Even at dusk. when one
would believe they were tived out. they
cheer each other with sweet song. which
means something even to dull human ears.
At the end of the nesting season the gallant
little wren on the porch still tells his ma te
in his sweet way the same love story which
won her in the bright spring days.
AS the nest which they build is a very
loose structure they exercise great care in
placing 1t in a perfectly sheltered cation
where rain and wind will not reach it. The
nest on my side porch is built well under
the caves, where nothing could disturb it,
Frequently the house wrens select rather
unusual places for their nests. One pair
built in an old tin bucket which had been
hung up in an abandoned spring house
Another pair built a snug nest in the tin
twine box of self binder. 1t was well for
them that they had started their home life
early and the young birds had left the nest
and were learning to fly before wheat was
ready for harvesting l reme mher well the
day l pulled the self binder out Of the tool
shed. Though the wrens We're through
rearing their first brood. they evidently felt
that they had a lease on the twne box
Indeed, l suspect that they had made full
arrangements to rear two more broods in