Arizona republican., 1902-11-09

buy a garden hose, see that tn name iv Leopold, king iv Biljum is on tn nozzle. He makes gum shoes. nursin bottles, rain coats, combs an teethin rings. Ivry week he has to set down with tn boord iv directors iv his rub Der comp'ny an hope fir rain.
 He takes his pleasure befure all tn wurruld. If ye go into a hotel amy where in Europe, Dorney says, ye can see him settin' in roclkin' chair smok- in a seegar an chattin' with tn dhrummers. Who's that or la-dd with tn whiskers?' says Dorney to tn clerk. That's or Leopold, king iv Bill jum,' says tn clerk. Hes our stas' boarder,' he says. Who's that ol fool cuttin' up with tn chorus girls at tn nex' table, says Dorney to tn waither at tn resthrant. It's Leopold, king iv Biljum,' says tn waither. Hes in here iVry night. l guess his home life ain't very atthractive.' Tn king iV Biljum in his autymobill ran into T milk cart yisterdah on tn bullyvard. says tn pa-apers. In tn altercation that followed. tn lowly milkman wal loped his majesty severely. x Tn king iv Biljum wint up in an air ship yisterdah an aftherward took din ner with Santos Dumont, Col. Ton Ochiltree. Tod Sloan, an Chansy Depoo K Tn king iv Biljum an MaddymoZelle Toorooro, tn Spanish dancer. danced fandango at tn Caffy de Paree las night. His majesty paid fir all breakage. x lvrY afthernoon tn king iv Biljum can be seen on tn bullyvard. Tn statement that tn droop in his right eye is per manent is not correct. X X X Tn king iv Biljum was seen in a smok- in car in tn limited thrain yisterdah, in his shirt sleeves. playin' siven-up with a few frinds. Whin tn thrain stopped fir lunch, his majesty hopped out, ct dish iv baked beans, a section iv grape pie an cup iv coffee an had q pleasant chat with tn cashier who used to wurruk at tn Palace hotel an knows him we'll. It was "Leep" an Name" with thim to tn delight iv tn hangers-On at tn station who are very fond iv both iv thim.'
 An so it goes. Now, supposin' Hin missy, that ye was a Biljum, whativer that is, an Leopold was ye'er king Ya see him on tn sthreets ivry day snort in around in an autymobill, with dust in his whiskers an cinders in his eyes that makes him wink ivry time a nurse girl goes by; ye see him dhrinkin' at tn bar. bettin' on tn races, feedin' his head with common food, quarrelin with his wife, kickin his daughter out iv dures, an mannyfacthrin' rubber boots. Wud ye bow down to him whin he come out iv tn concert hall with tn sixtet? Wud ye fling ye'er caubeen in tn air an holler, Long live tn king. fnr. h. whativer 'tis up to a Biljum to holler at such a time? Ye wud not. Ye'd say to ye'ersilf: Well, if that fellows king. som I. I think I'll move him over an take tn job mesilf. He's a nice oI man, runs an autymobill pretty well, is a succissful flirt, an unsuccissful hus- band, a fiVe-cints-on-th'-d dollar failure as a father an a pretty good nanny facthrer iv hose. He's all iv these things. But as a king, is he worth tn wages? l guess not.' An whin Lee pold come out some mornin'' it'd not be ye'er hat that come off but his.
 "Th' truth is, Hinnissy. that tn kings have got to take a brace. If ye have amy kings among ye'er frinds. tell thim I said so Tn king business is like a poker game. It's been goin' on el lOIlS lililc dil NHlulNeT IL put It's money in. we lay down thinkin' We was up again a hand full iv kings an queens. But tn minyit these a show down, tn bluff is over. Thin we see that tn hand that We were afraid iv is composed entirely iv sevens, sixes an dooces with maybe wan jack that looks like a king on'y to near-sighted people showdown is death to rilety. Tell Gp'Pr fTin6S n in ,, ,ir show their faces at tn window an maybe We won't get on to thim''
 "I don't know amy kings" said Mir. Hennessy.
 Well, I wudden't thry to-" said MT. Dooley. Tt wud be all right fir ye but ye'er wife mightn't like it.
 Overheard at the musicale: Wigg-