New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-04-26
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

wife quarreled over religion and as n result found
themselves In the police court.
IT'S Just because / won't Join them blame old
feet washers that my wife brings me here said
Robert She says she's saint and that all the
other feet washers saints, and they to the
other place wings. don't know which place
she means. But do know this. that when leave
this world for the other want to in the regular
way and don't wings. wheels anything
else"
Now. Robert. the only way I see out OF this
difficulty is for you TO join your wife's church"
said the magistrate.
Robert said he out and out Baptlst. ana
would change.
Before would join tn, feet washers denomina-
ton and parade UP md down the streets in my
bare feet 1 would die"
Not Too -Parishioner-The people are
WnPorthodex '' Pastor-oh. that's mistake my
dear sir. a great mistake. am Just as stinsy as
the rest of you.-tNew-fork Weekly.
Some years ago the Rev DR.. Talmage was com
PEELED to stop over a day in Wichita, Kan while
on a Western journey. He asked man at the
depot for the best hotel. and he directed
rather tough place. much frequented by cowboys
and ranchers The Eagle says that he hadn't
been in the house Ave minutes until big. blue
shirted man sauntered UP and challenged him 10
play the first points for the drinks.
clever sayings are the
s ar of hF NTH her ee e
Grandpa" she said, Il saw something this
any an! legs. What do you, think it VAST
Nj BEowno w ST. for while and gave up.
water" said the youngster triumphantly.-(st.
The following inscription tombstone in
Amroth Churchvard near Tenby. Wales. has just
been brought to light:
---.. 49,. he body OF John
Rees. who departed this life
October II. 1924.
Aged 2f9 years.
Reader, prepare to meet thy God
Perhaps the most expensive education tic IN the
College oxford. There are usually but four of them
In lust s6ensh 9 o Sf Them
rooms aloft the college Kitchens The college
should give an excellent education to four young
the en SUPPORT Sa Of Fellows and the cult Of good living
and the undergraduates get their educa ar
f eIe o'"e' 0'''"-
An unrehearsed effect caused considerable aston
ishment at the recent meeting of Partisan tenn
perance society Three guinea pigs were inoculated
with various forms of alcohol. and with nice
pure water and then put away till the end of the
meeting when the lecturer brouF,s them out again
triumphanty show the shocking results of al
cohol. Most unfortunately. however. the only II
guinea pig the teetotal one, and the moral
simply shocking
The sunshine and budding trees
Made Johnny feel quite gay.
He to SWIM the obseQuies
Are being held to-day.
philadelphia Press.
A schoolgirl in Delaware recently wrote essay
on Hawthorne, in which she said: AT the age
thirty-nine Hawthorne married and took his wife
to the old manse." The day after the commence
rnent two of the village talking over
the affair and Of them remarked:
Wasn't it awful that Maude should say such a
thing in her essay"
Her friend inquired what she alluded to.
Why, she said the age of thirty-nine Haw-
thorne married and took hts wife the old mans"
Not Always Needed.-Daughter-I have an invf-
tation the theatre, and have chaperon
Mother-You must have of
shant go. It's from MI. Slmpurse, l suppose.
No It's from Mr. Fatpurse.
'Um-never mind about the chaperon."-(New-
York Weekly.
Some time ago Englishman staying In
German town ordered parcel be sent from his
shop to his hotel. giving his name orally When the
parcel came IT was found to be addressed to Herr
Karriitsch. The hall porter. locking at the parcel
declared that no such person in the hotel
Luckily the Engshman caught the sound. and IN
ferred his name-Coleridge.
Il am sorry doctor. you were not able to attend
the church supper last night 1t would have done
you good TO be there
1T has already done me good. madam; I have
just prescribed for three Ct the participants."-
iRichmond DISPATCH.