The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-09-28
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IN|A the highest art is to catch
IVA the one you do want 1t is
sometimes truly pathetic to
- watch the maneuvers of
anxious mammas endeavoring to land sue
cessful catches" for their darling daugh-
tiers. They usually scare away the few
men who might offer themselves.
Mamma Is generally horribly fat and
bunchy in places, and her "embonpoint"
Gas she calls iD looks sadly unromantic
to a calculating future son-in-law He
Sees IN his minds eye, Mamie's slender
waist twenty years from now taking on
a sort of triple-expansion look. He COM
pares mammals double chin and sleepy
little elephant-lke windows, through
which no soul is visible, to Mamie's
dainty, angelic features and beautiful,
wide-open eyes. Then he wonders if it is
possible Mamie could ever grow like that.
If he is very clever he asks to see a
picture of NAMES mother at Ma mie's
age If he is impetuous and daring he
takes Mamie for life, and If he isn't he
picks out some less attractive girl with
more attractive mother. Thus it is here,
at this point, that mamma often spoilS
her daughters chances. 1t is now that
she should dress all in black, take Turk
ish baths, drink gallons of hot water and
indulge In a starvation system. all the
time wearing a smiling face and Cooking
pleasant" On these trifling sacrifices
may depend Mamles future happiness.
Some mammals really do not want their
daughters to get married, but naturally
these are always the daughters who want
to. One Of the surest ways to catch
man and fasten him fast forever is to tell
him strenuously, with threatening fist If
necessary. that he can never, never, never
have your daughter.
Once in a while you read of poor weak
minded idiots shooting themselves or each
other on account Of insurmountable bar
riers which take the form of furious
fathers and obstinate mothers; but the
majority Of the poor young idiots elope
and let the furious father do the shoot
ing at the nearest male relative or hap
less tomcat. When his wrath is thus
spent they come home. are forgiven, and
his dollars are also spent In paying their
elopement expenses.
Man Is the most skittish animal known
He is Hike runaway horse. You don't
want to let him know you are catching
him until the bit is in his mouth Never
let man know by word or look that you
want him until he asks you and some
times not even then.
Each step girl advances so far will
man retreat. Let her retreat and he will
advance. Let her go seeking him and
she will find him not. Let her sit still at
home and some day he will come, take
her by the hand and lead her TO the altar.
If she acts as II she were leading him he
will change his mind and leave her on
the way, to go with some other man or
never to go ut ALL If she holds back he
will drag her there by force. This Is not
literal, but 1t Is true, flguratively speak
ing.
Some men go to the altar feeling as
though they had haltar around their
necks. These are the few who have been
Caught" and they are the ones who are
restless and break loose" later in life.
and leave their wives in tears. wondering
why they could not keep them.
Another way to catch the man you
want-the best way and decidedly the
most uncomnion-is rot to 60 for him at
ali, but to let him catch you. IF you are
going to get him at all, this IL the only
way to do 1t, and II you don't set him
you can wait for another. For the secret
Of the science of catching mar-the man
you want-.is that no man can be caught
unless he wants to be. and the only va
Is to sit down at homo and walt fo- hiA
70 "a tch vol