Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1902-08-28
DIDN'T SPEAK DUTCH.

along as an interpreter, said an aniiEble
Mount Pleasant matron who recently re-
turned from a tour OF the continent. such
a dreadful time a. we had, my husband and
!, and he seemed to get crosser and more
out Of patience with the poor, uninstructed
folks who couldn't speak English every mile
that we traversed. We were in lots Of
places in England where we actually
couldn't understand a word the people said,
although they were supposed to be speaking
English, and my poor dear of a testy hus-
band came near getting into fisicuifs with
some Of the restaurant folks and BARRIERS
and trsdespeople in Yorkshire because they
bridled up and seemed to be huffy when he,
no; being able TO understand the patois that
they believe is English, asked them why
they didn't speak the language of their
king.
But in the really y-snd-truly foreign coun-
tries our difficulties were beyond belief.
Neither Of US knows a word Of any other
language but English. Now, |, being wom
an, and therefore reasoning being, am
willing TO concede that there are several
languages spoken on the globe besides Eng
lish, and 20 admit the right Of the people
who are born and raised TO these languages
to speak them in their own lands But my
husband, being man, and man Of ex
clusively English speech, became more and
more ferocious over the languages of the
people as we progressed on the tour. 1t
didn't make any difference where we were,
whether in the Tyrol or by the Italian
lakes, he seemed to take it as a personal
affront when the people addressed him in
their own tongues, and he became even
more angry when he inadvertently asked
one Of them a question and received only a
shake of the head in reply
The internal imbeciles! he was ex-
claiming to me all over Europe, how in the
dickens do they expect white man 10 talk
such diotic rubbish as thaty
But | would e1postulate, they are
talking the only language they know
Well, that's the reason call EN- i'm.
beeilesl' he would hotly rstort.
But | would start to say, when he
would interrupt me with such an outbreak
as this:
There are no ifs, ands and butts about
it; they talk like lot OF monkeys-the
idea Of man who talks English that's
fairly decent at any rate not being able to
k'b NOih VI sthST puN VI n bhf VI
about 10000 alleged human beings that
he's addressed necessary questions to all
over continent that's supposed 10 be
civilized
And there spoke the average American
man abroad, for all the world. III never
forget the morning we first arrived in Am
sterdam. We started out early to explore,
and my husband became more gloomy and
morose every step we took over the utter
inability of any OF the people we met to
understand us. | suppose the Dutch people
are the least accomplished linguists in Eu-
repeat least they struck us as being so.
We didn't strike single individual in Am
sterdam that could speak English. Along
in the afternoon we became hungry and de-
cided to hunt up some restaurant for lunch
con instead OF returning to the hotel. So
my husband began asking everybody we met
where there was good restaurant. They
all stared yacantly at him and shook their
heads with awful solemnty without a word
and passed on, many OF them turning about
to look after US as il they considered us
escaped insane folks
I'm going to get one Of these Dutch
baboons to give me some kind OF an intelli.
gible reply to a civil question If | have to
stay right here on the streets of Amster-
dam for 1000 years. he said to me, hoarsely,
and with such utter unreasonableness that
couldn't for the life of me have helped
throwing my head back right there and
laughing at him-whieh didn't tend to in
crease his cheerfulness a particle, as you
may imagine.
Finally he went up 10 gendarme-One
of those funny-looking little squatty male
persons with the exaggeratedly ferocious
expression of countenance he fairly
bawled in the astonished gendarme's teeth:
Say, my adipose friend of the Broad
way squad, can you and will you tell me
where can find place in this burg where
two pilgrims can get bite and a sup of
something fit to eat and to drink?
Gle asked this question, as | say, in an
exceedingly loud tone Of voice. observed
that most travelling American men shouted
their questions at foreigners, as If mere
volume of lung power would suffice to
bridge the conversational gulf that yawns
between two persons of different nationali-
ties who attempt to make themselves plain
to each other in their respective tongues
THE gendarme gazed at my husband with
amaEement He undoubtedly thought that
my husband was threatening him, and he
suddenly hoped back couple of PAGES
and gave peculiar whistle, which was i'm
medlately answered by couple OF other
gendarmes who came running around the
corner from .chnapps shop where they
had been regaling themselves. My poor
unreasonable husband wasn't bit taken
back by their appearance, although began
to have visions OF him being hailed off to a
noi,ome dungeon, full of rats and bats and
things, and Of my being compelled to go ON
my knees to the American minister at The
Hague to have him released, and of my
friends in Washington reading OF his being
arrested as a desperate character and all
that sort Of thing. | tried to pluck at his
sleeve and to get him to come away, but
he put that inquiry as TO the location OF a
restaurant 20 each OF the other two gen
dsrmes in tone louder than he had EN-.
ployed before, and shook his fist at them
when they pulled at their hristly little mus
tachios and endeavored to look awe.inspir-
ing. II was miracle that they didn't
seize upon him and arrest him, but they
didn't. He is, SIS you know, six feet three
niche, tall, and broad in proportion, where
as none of the three gendarmes was much
above hve feet in height, aud that is per
haps the reason they decided to make no
attempt to molest him. However, they
linked arms and stepped back about siI
pace. and shook .heir 6sts at him and said
very cultural things in the Dutch language
l make no doubt they were swearing ter.
ribly-and then } y suddenly wheeled and
marched oS, It'll with their arms linked in
the opposite direction. The funny way they
held their heads erect and their backs as
stiff as ramrods in executing this movement
served to restore my husbaris coed hu,
nor. and he stood right there on {. pave.
ment and beloved his amuseu sut When
they heard his huge laughter they faced
about once more .pd shook their fists at
him, and thcu they went ahead again,
whereat he only howled the more
I'VE found li.tle old. gloomy, but clean,
restaurant after another half hour Of
searching, hut was still so nervous over
my husbands narrow escape from donion
keep that when tried to slice the long Loaf
Of bread that they put before US | came
near cutting off one OF my fingers Wash.
ingtou star.
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