Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-05-01

was this city that all it's work could not be
done between sunrise and sunset, and many
men earned their living during the hours OF
darkness.
Some there were who vowed that the
world owed them living, and under cover
of night helped themselves to it when the
police were not looking. But this class was
really small, and by far the greater number
were honest toilers like Smith, for instance.
When the electric lights were turned on
IN the vineyard Smit tn was there, and tor
his services until the sun came to earth
again he received enough of the legal tender
of the time to buy food and clothing for
his wife and children and pay the rent of
few rooms, named apartment, in a large
building of brick and stone over which
ruled one called janitor. When the whistle
blew, Smith, scorning the pleasures of big
city, hurried home and snuggled up in his
little brass bedstead to rest and sleep.
The resting came easy, and during the
winter he got more or less sleep between
the music lessons and practice hours of
the young woman in the adjoining apart
ments and the indoor football games of the
youngsters on the floors above and below.
But when spring came and the windows
were opened wide to let in the balmy
breezes Smith lay awake all day listening to
the cries of the huckster, the latest popular
tunes ground out OF the hurdy-gurdy and
the wall of the old clothes man.
He didn't do this from choice, for the
changing seasons had no effect on Smiths.
liking for slumber. The last time he
moved he sought to escape the offerings of
garden truck and the appeals to his musical
taste, and he picked out what seemed to
be a very quite neighborhood. But most
streets look alike to the huckster and the
hurdy-gurdy man, and they found Smith.
One day as Smith, despairing of sleep,
lay studying the intricate design of the
wall paper, his sight became blurred, and
when this passed away he discovered that
he had visitor. Sitting on the footral
of his bed was an odd little figure of man
about two inches high.
Hello, Smith," he said, and smiled most
genially.
"Hell-o," replied Smith. He didn't
mean it as a reply exactly, for he didn't
believe there was anybody there and was
rather talking to himself. Nov [ know
I've got 'em,' he said. Il knew this upside
down sort of life and lack of sleep would
fix me after awhile. | suppose my next
trip will be to a nicely-padded cell with d
keeper to feed me and little hurdy -gurdies
fine game"
Don't get excited, Smith, old boy" said
The little fellow on the foot rail- II know
you're in a bad way, and I've come to help
you OUT
''Well, I'll be"
BLESSED if you care to, put in the midget,
pointing finger at Smith, commanding
attention and speaking in more serious
tone. ''You have been picked out by those
from whom | come as representative suit
ferer of the most miserable class in New
York-those who by modern conditions are
forced to work when nature intended they
should sleep, and who are kept awake when
they might sleep by needless noises. IT'S
not for us of another world to rule your
great city, but as means to an end | have
received the power to grant you, under GER
tain conditions, three wishes"
"Well," laughed Smith, there's some
sense and good deal of fairy tale in what
you say
<'Three wishes, and the conditions are
these: You must not wish for wealth; you
must not wish for worldly power; you must
not wish to change your present occupation;
all else is yours"
That's not bad,' said Smith, thinking it
over
our hrst WISH!
Just then hurdy -gurdy man outside
started to play rip Van Wrinkle Was a
Lucky Man. And the pent-up anger of
unhappy, sleepless weeks burst forth in
Smiths answer:
II wish | could see hundred of those
fellows dropped into vat of boiling OIL
Instantly Smith was whisked out of bed
and carried to an immense park where
IF hCi no fol- I'M
sat in the grandstand all alone and howled
with glee as hurdy -gurdy man after hurdy
gurdy man was picked up by some unseen
hand and dropped into the hot stuff. When
the hundredth victim had disappeared
Smith found himself back in his room. The
midget still sat on the foot rail.
well" said Smith, rubbing his sides,
which were sore from laughing, "that was
good show. [ feel better after seeing it"
Your second wish!
From the street below came shrill cry
that marked the huckster man.
Il WISH" shouted Smith, his anger rising
again, "'that | could see the tongues cut
out of thousand of those fellows"
Again Smith was whisked, this time to
place that looked like cattle pen. But
there were men and not cattle in this pen,
and every man was a huckster. One by
one they were forced forward by some
hidden power and one by one each out
stretched tongue was cut off by blow
from knife that seemed to WELD itself.
When Smith got back to bed he
little tired, his anger had cooled and the
smell of blood was unpleasantly strong
in his nostrils. The little fellow had got
back to the foot rail and he spoke again:
''Your third wish?'
"Wait," said Smith. "This is my last
chance and want to think it over. | know
that we have killed a hundred hurdy-gurdy
men and cut out the tongues of a thousand
hucksters, but l 100 men don't cut much
figure in this town and their places can
be filled in an hour. Now with this last
wish / would like to get some permanent
relief, and | don't feel like any more
slaughter"
Smith thought deeply, while the midget
waited. Then he began:
Il wish that the board of aldermen would
pass an ordinance like this:
SN0 Goods cba1I no criad for ar