davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
WEATHER FOR TODAY.

Minnesota-Fair Saturday; Sunday fair,
with warmer in eastern portions; fresh
south winds.
Upper Michigan-Fair, continued cold
saturday; Sunday fair; fresh westerly
winds, becoming variable.
Wisconsir-F,air Saturday; warmer in
west portion; Sunday fair, warmer; vari-
able winds
Iowa-Fair; warmer Saturday and prob
ably Sunday; variable winds
North Dakota and South Dakota-Fair;
warmer Saturday; Sunday fair; southerly
to westerly winds.
Montana-Fair in east portion; cloudy
IN west portion; probably rain or snow
in northwest portion; Sunday fair, with
colder in north portion; variable winds
St. Paul = Yesterdays observations,
taken by the United States Weather Blu
reau, st. Paul, P. F. Lyons, observer for
the twenty-four hours ended at o'clock
last night-BarOmeter corrected for tenn
perature and elevation: Highest temper
allure, IL; lowest temperature, 3; aver
age temperature. 4; daily range, IA;
barometer 30.99; humidity 50; precipita-
ton. o; p. m, temperature, 8; p. m,
wind, south; weather, clear.
Yesterdays Tempera lures
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
Delighted Her, of Course.

! 1t rs her first year teaching school, and
with an assignment to a class not far
from Brooklyn bridge this dainty young
woman has been introduced to class OF
boys from the poorest tenements.
The occasional gifts of overripe apples
or somewhat faded flowers have, how
ever, been received with due enthusiasm.
SAY, teacher, here's a tuberose L
brought YOU" said a smudged-tace
youngster the other day.
And. beaming her thanks, she asked
him where ne got it.
'Oh, say, dat was easy" he replied.
''I got it off'n a dead lady. New YORK
Times
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
YARNS ABOUT THE GREAT.

There is quite vein of dry humor
in the makeup Of Senator Thomas G.
Plat.
In the campaign just closed a member
of the Union League club was deeply In
terested in the success of friend who
was a nominee on the Fusion ticket He
wanted to do something to help him, and,
discussing the matter with a friend, the
latter suggested a call on Senator Plat.
The clubman had not been on good terms
with the Republican boss, but he finally
plucked up courage enough to visit him
at 4 Broadway He received a cordial
welcome, and obtained the assurances
he desired. AS he was leaving he said:
Senator, 7 have been opposed to you
for twenty years, but I must confess that
you have converted me to your side"
'So!' remarked Senator Platt. ST am
very sorry you did not call on me twenty
years ago"
T.. r. Stockwell- the actor, has spent
the major portion of his life in playing
the role of Marks the lawyer in Uncle
Toms Cabin" Among the stories of the
veteran actor is this one about Bill
Nye:
It was in Frisco when Peter Jackson.
the colored pugilist, was a feature in
'sJJncle Toms Cabin" Nye was to have
lectured at the Baldwin theater, but was
greeted by so small an audience that he
excused himself and went over to hear
Jackson talking of the pearly gates to
Little Eva. After the performance Stock
we'll met Nye in the lobby of the theater,
and he exclaimed
Hello, Nye! What did you think of
Peter?"
''Well," responded the humorist. dryly,
"anatomically he was great, but Uncle
Ironically he is the worst I ever saw"
Chauncey M. Depew once sat at din
ner on the right of the Earl of Aberdeen,
who wore the Scotch national costume
and kits. Ambassador Choate was next
to him. ''Just after the earl seated
himself" says Mr.. Depew, "Choate whis-
pered, 'Chauncey, are Aberdeen's legs
really bare? 1 raised the table cloth
cautiously and gave that scratch that all
Scotchmen appreciate and said: Yes,
Joe, they are When Choate got up to
speak he said: Gentlemen, my invita-
ton did not convey to me the informa-
ton that the Earl of Aberdeen was to
be here tonight in full regalia. If 1 had
known it / would have left my trousers
at home Well, you never saw madder
crowd of Scotchmen. They thought it
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
The Conductors story.

II reckon you'd Re interested in good
joke bout Robert Burns said the con-
ductor of the trolley ear. Its a brand
new story which I-(Hold on there till
fool people who ride on street cars don't
know enough to carry hay to a blind
horseD Well, talkinI bout Burns-one
day he was seated in a tavern when
(Turners Alley! Stand out the way.
please, and let the lady passD Well,
as I was a-sayin, this Robert Burns,
the poet, was havin' good time in the
tavern, and was just about to-(Look out
there! That burned trolIey's off aga! u
Smith streetD Robert Burns, seated in
the same tavernsI was talkin' bout, sud
renly heard-(Jqst look at that niger
crOwdin' up there where he knows he has
no business Easy street! All off for
EasyD"
Il get off here I said: ''Tll have to
hear the rest of that Burns story some
other time"
Next morning I waylaid his car.
Now about that Burns story l said
Its in there,9 he said, handing me j
letter. tits the only way l could finish
it. A literary man don't stand no show
at all on trolley car!'-Atlanta Con-
stitutiOn " &
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
STORIES OF THE DAY.
stiII She Failed.

This was a hard hit at the music COM
mittee or general congregation of a rich
crurch here. The position of eontraIto
soloist was empty, and several singers
had sung at the church hoping to Re
engaged for the job. Finally a hand
some young woman was asked to sing
there one Sunday She accepted the of
fer and when this fact became known
warm-hearted, candid friend member
of the flock, came to give her a few
pointers. Now, my dear" she began
Il understand you are going to sing
for US. Take my advice when you do
and beware of ever singing a high note. >
And why shouldn't l sing a high note
if the piece requires it?" asked the as
tonished and wounded sol0ist.
Why, because some of the other lp-
plicants did and got turned down. You
see the congregation wishes contralto,
and if you sing above deep growl they
Will think you have soprano voice and
turn you down"
Aha, SO this was it. The applicant Sc
lected a Way-doWn-in-the-co aI-mine Sc
lection for her trial effort and carefully
avoided any shrieks. Ali the same, she
did not get the position. and doesn't even
know how she took, for the silence If
the congregation and choir has been deem
enough to sound with a plummet ever
since.
There are more tragedies in church
choirs than Shakespeare ever wrote or
Horton ever dreamed of-LouisYilIe
Times.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

A friend of Hon. Shelby NJ. Cullom oc-
casionally takes pleasure in recounting
an incident connected with the present
senator's first reception after he pecarIe
governor of Illinois.
In the line of approaching "hand-
shakes" he saw rural giant whose mas
sive figure lowered above all the other
occupants of the crowded room. Men
tally the governor made the comment:
THAT man must weigh about three hur-
dred pounds.
When the ponderous man reached his
excellency and extended his hand he
part of the room:
And you're the governor of Illinois,
eh?"
yves, I have that honor" replied Mr..
CuIlom.
ssWeli,'' exclaimed the giant, 81 must
say you're built on q mighty slim pat
tern for a governor! IL I'd stand be-
hind you / guess we'd look something
like a bean pole leaned up against a
corncrib. saturday Evening Post.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
MR.. PEAvEY's LIFE INSURANCE
His Case Puts Beyond All CaviI For
ever Any Question as to the EnOr-
nous PrOpOrtiOnate Returns Pos
sibIe to a POIicyhOIder's Estate.

S1Dle TO a POllcyhOldeF'S Estate.
II the world has ever weaMed, or
grcwn at all incredulous, over the state
EIents that life insurance is constantly
yielding a policyh0lderS beneticiaria5
great propoTtionate returns over tho
amount the contract had cost him, the
case of Frank H. Peavey, of Minnean-
CHS. whose sudden death has been so
w;tely recorded, will serve to show that
there is no such thing as exagg grafton. in
the matter of possible profits to a life
inst rant.
Here was a gentleman of great wealth.
his fortune running into the millions,
already handsomely insured for total
of over $780, coo, who desired further pro-
lection for his family as well rs addf-
t;Cnal capital in his business should
death remove him from the control of his
affairs. He was in perfect health and
with probably more than a quarter of
century of life ahead. He took round
million dollars additional life insurance,
less than two years ago. His annu ii
premium on this last contract was nearly
$4,000, itself the amount of a iue policy
for any ordinary man. And now, after
the payment of but two of these pre-
miums, amounting to less than 800 600,
he dies of pneumonia away from home,
though in the presence of his hastily
summoned family and under the best Of
medical care, and his estate viii receive
the large fortune of over $4,000 from
tho insurance company IN excess of what
he had paid in. His death was as much
an accidental one as if he had been
killed by a falling piece of timber, or
in railway disaster, yet a death that
may as surely and quickly meet any
ether man now in the vigor of life and
health.
It is the strongest example in the mat
ter of the amount involved ever present
ed to the world of how much more a mans
estate may realize from life insurance
than he had himself contributed toward
the sum of the policy. But instances on
a lesser scale, in which the death was
just as unexpected and the proportion
ate returns to the decedent's family
CT estate just as great, are occurring
every day. They are part of the daily
record in almost every standard com
pany, and in view of the notable case of
Mr. Peavey no lack of general interest
in the possibilities to any policyholoer or
his benefciaries is ever likely to again
be known. Nothing that can ever be
claimed for life insurance may hereafter
b. questioned.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
Preferred Wagner.

"Who is your favorite composer IN
quired the visitor.
II s'pose you mean classical! re-
sponded Mr.. Cumrocks.
Certainly"
'"Wagner," was the answer. Gimme
Wagner Some of these other music
writer's start in with tune, but as soon
as you get your foot going steady in time
to 1t they break off in way that pretty
near sprains your ankle. But Wagner
never fools you. He plays fair. You
know from the beginning that you ain {
going to find anything, and you might as
well go to sleep or read the advertise
ments in the programme.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
According to Scripture.

One day last week Berkeley student
in one of Prof. L. Dupont Styles classes
came into the recitation room so late
that the Engllsh teacher made a mild
the young man.
Professor replied the young fellow In
excusing himself, my watch was slow I
my dear fellow said Syle, what you
need is not faith, but works. San Fran
cisco Wave.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Not to be outdone by the University Of
Chicago, the University of Wisconsin
comes to the front with a professor
who has made the discovery that certain
disease germs hate water with an abid-
ing repugnance. He is silent as to their
attitude toward beer or rye While his
discovery is interesting, it is of little
Importance, owing to the fact that the
use of water is so rapidly going out of
style
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

A Memphis undertaken, Lewis by name
alleges that he has discovered or in
vented, an embalming fluid which will
make the old Egyptian mummy builders
turn green with envy. The process Of
MIR. Lewis preserves the body and pre-
vents the shriveling which makes the
Egyptian mummy such a disagreeable
person to live with. There will be a great
demand for this fluid in the Republican
camp after Teddy gets through with the
leaders
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
SATURDAY. JAN. 4, 1902.

A young woman in Chicago lost thirty
pounds of flesh worrying over the mar
riage of her sweetheart, who had in
burst of generosity promised to marry
her, but found his capacity for matri-
monial contracts limited She sued for
5000, $l66.G6 per pound of lost flesh. She
must think she has a corner on that
kind of meat
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
Prna,s Arrival was TimeIy.

A little girl at East end, who is wont
to take refuge in the protecting arms of
her father when her mothers ire is up
and trouble is pending, almost missed her
haven the other night. Her mother and
she had gone upstairs for the night, leav-
ing the father in the reading room below.
In the preparations for retirir~ the .4.Ile
girl disobeyed her mother and trouble
was imminent.
''T'H just switch you, little lady, re-
marked the mother.
In an instant the little girl rushed to
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

They have queer ideas of judicial pro-
cedure in the army, and the navy also
for that matter The idea of com
planning witness being also judge is quite
original, if not aboriginal Yet this Gus
tom prevails in the army of the United
States. According to Teddy, it would be
next to treason for one who happened
to know of this relic of a barbaric age
to express a criticism regarding it. In
deed We have lit upon queer times.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

the door and screamed for her father to
come UP at once.
The obedient father got up the stairs in
about three steps, and as he entered the
room the angered mother was about to
use the switch.
You just did get here in time, papa"
said the little one, as she buried her face
under his arm.-Memphis Scimitar.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
The Lamentations of Jeremiah.

If we may believe Senator Beveridge.
President Roosevelt is going to place one
foot on the Alleghenies and the other on
the Rockies and give whoop that will
echo round the world Indianapolis Senti-.
mel.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The three-ringed circus which is go
ing on in Washington this winter adver-
tises some very interesting stunts There
will be many clowns, but so far only
one ringmaster has shown up. He is
the rough rider who carries the long ad-
ministratien whip.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
The Easiest Language of All.

Inc Easiest Language or ALL
Prof. Bernard Moses, one of the Taft
commission in the Philippines, has for
many years been at the head Of the
department of political economy in the
University Of California. In addition to
being student of finance 5and sociology,
he is both .polyglot and historian, and
MS studies in the history and literature
of Spain and Mexico especially fit him
for his work in the Philippines. He
looks upon learning a language as a very
small matter
One day in his class room at Berkeley
ne began to illustrate a point he had
been making by quoting at length a pas
sage in French from one of the political
economists of the University of Paris. A
student ventured to interrupt, remarking
that the recitation, however valuable,
would have more significance for him if
the professor should render it into Eng
lish.
40 DO you not speak French?" Prof.
81 regret to state that I do not" re-
Joined the student.
In that case replied the professor.
preparing to continue with the quotation,
Il should advise you to get up early
some morning before breakfast and learn
it."-Saturday Evening Post
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Wouid-be patrons of the street railway
company, who stand shivering on the
corners of the streets that intersect Wa
basha, between Central and College
avenues, and see car after car go thunder
ing by without stopping, are beginning
to wonder whether Thomas Lowry or his
motormen really own the system.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Reports from Minneapolis are to the
effect that Mayor Ames is making rapid
recovery and will soon be restored to his
usual health. Let the good news be car
ried to Uncle Loren Fletcher instanter.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The club women have taken up the
national park matter Where are Clapp
and Stevens now? Stand UP, gentlemen,
and face the music. The women are
right, and you know it, even If they can
not vote
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Miss Stone is said to be free. If the
report be true, the American people may
as well prepare to take to the woods in
about six months, when the marble lady
begins her lecturing tour
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
fragrant Breach of Discin,ine

1t is in order to publicly censure the
Washington theate- audience which ap-
plauded Schley. Such manifestations
must be Stamped out."-St Louis Post
Dispatch
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
RAPID-FIRE EDITORIALS,
Purely UnseIRsh

A physician of much experience saws
that beyond question death is pleasur-
able, and we know a number of people
VINO ought TO go off and enjoy them
selVeS.-Salt Lake Tribune
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
How Lonesome He VIII Be.

Gov Shaw, who is to be secretary of
the treasury, is said to be strongly OBJ
posed to dancing and to the use of liquors
in any form. Louisville Courier Jour
nal.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The Minneapolis Times would have the
public believe that the return Of the
governor from Helena resembled in every
respect the triumphal journey of the
Great Napoleon from Frejus to Paris.
What wonderful imaginations some peo-
Mo have
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Sir Thomas Upton says his heart is
still set on the cup. 1t is pleasant to
know his heart will remain on this side
of the Atlantic.-New York World.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
But Won't Throw Up His Job.

President Roosevelt will be much dis
turbed when he learns that the Hon.
Weymouth Davis has been abusing him.
Chicago Tribune.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The question of judicial resurrection
is up in a New York court. James Nor
row. number of years ago having dis
appeared was declared dead by COM
petent tribunal. Now he returns in the
flesh and applies to the court for a jul
dicial resurrection.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The worlds greatest steeple climber
was fatally injured at last by falling
from wagon. Fate continues to have
ironical moods.-Chicago Record Herald
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

A. G. Spalding is reported to have can
celed His church subscription to the
Freedmen's Aid bureau.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Col. Watterson is "agin" the ship sub
sidy. Perhaps there is too much sugges-
ton of water about anything connected
with ship.-Cleveland Leader.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Alfred Austin calls his new poem "To-
gether." Alfred gets everything together
except his rhymes
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The politicians who sought to retire
one Theodore Roosevelt from the politi-
cal arena by nominating him for vice
president at the last Republican ma
tional convention are making a strenu-
Gus effort to take the medicine he is adj
ministering and avoid making wry faces.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

New York has $1,000 city officials, and
yet many good people expect Seth Low
to play the role of reformer.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

1t is said that J. Pierpont Morgan viii
visit Egypt, and already the price of
pyramids is ffrmer.-Chicag News.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

It is now in order for the Minneapolis
Times to unlimber it's batteries and make
Auditor Dunn hunt for cover.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Rumor continues to predict that the
secretary of the navy is not Long for the
cabinet.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

A cursory perusal of the Minneapolis
papers is enough to convince anyone that
some very capable railroad men missed
their calling when they broke into jour
naliSm
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

The Cubans are rapidly qualifying for
self government. They are already call
ing President Palma "a lobster.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

These are the days when the man who
quit smoking on Jan. 1 makes life an
intolerable burden for the family house
cat.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

only to rush to the natural watercourses
which are inadequate to carry off the
vast accumulation from every quarter
and the Hood begins. With every mile
it gathers strength. The rains may fall
in the mountains of Pennsylvania, but
Cincinnati and the valley of the Ohio
suffer. The water may fall in Minnesota,
but Memphis pays the penalty, for the
short-sightedness of the Northwestern
pioneers.
What is to be done? What must be
done is to remove the cause. Hold the
water where it falls as nature intended
that it should be held. The natural for
ests are gone; new forests must be
planted; further destruction of the tim
bered hills must be stopped; reservoirs
must be constructed to hold the surplus
of rainfall at the head waters of the
and nature given chance to recuperate,
In this work the national government
must take hand. The water courses are
interstate and no authority but the ma
tional government can carry out a, sue
cessful scheme to control the national
waters.
BY the aid of an X-ray a Chicago man
has been able to locate a snake in his
stomach. Many a man will now en-
ploy the X-ray on his boots when he is
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

Now comes the announcement that Sir
Henry Irving and Miss Ellen Terry will
make another farewell tour of the
United States next season. 1t really be-
gins to look as though PATHS record
were in danger of compound fracture
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

New Year resolutions are already ap-
pearing on the bargain counter.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
TO OUR FRIENDS.

Anyone unable to secure
copy of Il In o b On any
railroad train leaving or en-"
terinE st. Paul will confer
favor on the management by
reporting the fact to the bus
fucss Office. Telephone, Main
1905.
Subscribers anEOHe ed by Ir-
regular or late delivery of
T n C o b VIII confer Il ia
vOF on the management by re-
porting the fact to the business
office. Telephone, Main 1865.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

A report from Elkhart, Ind, credits
Miss Bessie Currier with manifestations
of uncanny powers, and states that she
''can make household articles fly about
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
No laundering in That Direction.

Mr. Hanna has no desire to appear as
the Thomas B. Reed Of the 1904 campaign.
Detroit Free Press.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04

the room" This will hardly help Bessie
in the matrimonial game
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-04
*SDnHig11
*SpnnHigh

washington time q p. m. St. PauD.