Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1902-07-11

After we lose it," puts In the mate.
REALISTIC man.-Judge.
81 see goose feathers have gone way
up on the market" Yep" And still
all the dealers keep marking them
down. Baltimore News.
New Cook-I'm afraid | can't take
the place, mum. Mistress-Why? New
Cook mum, the kitchen table
amt big enough for ping pong.
Aunt Matida-Clara says she is 2S
does she? She isn't a day under So
Bertha-Perhaps she has been marked
down for matrimonial bargain, aunt.
Mrs. P-And | suppose if we have
another war you'll stay at home like q
coward? Mr.. P.--My dear, no one
could call me a coward II l remained
at your side.
She-I hope our dear good pastor will
be able to refute these heresy charges.
He-I guess he's all right. | under
stand the deacons are betting three to
one on an acquittal.
A country convert, full of zeal, offer
ed himself for service in his first pray
er meeting remarks. Pm ready to do
anything the Lord asks me-" he said,
80 long as it's honorable. Life.
You and your sister are about the
same size, and you look exactly alike.
Twins aren't you?" asked the visitor,
course not.' exclaimed Tommy, high
Iv INDIGNANT "She's 81 Girl ~
Yes" said the funny barber, were
up to date here. We shave you while
you wait" Indeed" replied Pepprey.
1--WE usually found that you shave sew
eral other fellows while | wait"
Famous Author-I shall have to stop
sending out any more small checks.
Instead of cashing them the recipients
have them framed to preserve my auto
graph. She-Never mind. 1t will only
last a few weeks.-Life.
Mr.. Jonsing (watching his wife at the
scrnbbing board)-Why doan yG' cali
me a hobo an be done wild it? Mrs.
Jonsing|Cause dis amt no aftah-dn-
nah bokay talk. rs knockin' now, not
handin' yo' vi'lets.-Judge.
II bet Tinkens that my bicycle could
go mile a minute for fifty miles.
Won" You don't mean to say thas
you rode that fast" NO" Then
how did you arrange it?' why, put
the bicycle in the baggage of through
limited"
Young Wife, don't see why we
can't get plain cook. l have adver-
tised for one daily for more than two
weeks. Observation-Disclosures for good
looking one, my dear, and you'll have
a dozen applicants the first dash out Of
the box.
In Court.-"What an awful looking
villain the prisoner isl whispered
lady in the police court to her husband;
Il should be afraid even to stand near
him." "Hush!" warned her husband,
the prisoner hasn't been brought in
yet That's his lawyer" Tit Bits.
Even though you seem successful
for time" said tile solemn theorist,
you will find some day that you have
not friend left in the world" That's
all right" answered the practical poll
tlcian; Its a part of my business to
see that my friends don't get left. -
Washington Star.
. Lady engaging servanD-Why did
you leave your last place? Servant-I
couldn't put up with the way one of the
young mistresses used to copy me.
mum. Lady-What do you mean? Ser
yant-Why, | had private soldier for
my sweetheart, and what must she do
but get a hofiicer for hers.-Tid- Bits.
Prof. Shortmind (after the iptroduc-
tion)-May | ask whether you are re-
lated to the Miss De Styles, whom |
met at the seashore last summer? Miss
De Styles-Why, professor, | am the
same Miss De Styles. Prof. Shortmind
All. indeed, That no doubt accounts
for the remarkable resemblance.--Chi-
cago News.
In the Near Future. The Cook-OEm
sorry, mum, but the walkin' diligate av
tn Suprame Ordher av Cooks nov Or
dhered me t throw up me job. Mrs.
Subbub dearfully)-Oh, Norah. what
have | done? The Cook-Nawthia',
mum; but yer foolish husbind got shay
ed in a non-union barber shop, tn day
before isterday.-Brooklyn Life.
Say. Pat, hear you've been offered
job in the customs. Are you going
to take it?' ''Shure, an | am" But
the hours are long and the pay bad"
"It's meself that knows it," surely,
those are two good reasons for refus-
ing itT' ''Thrue for We. me bhoy. but
I've got six reasons for acceptin' IT."
''What are they?" 'Shure, n wife an
foive kids"
Citiman-Yes, I'll be glad to run out
and see you some time. What's your
number? Subbubs Why-er-the
houses IN Swamphurst are not num-
bered yet Citiman-Well how shall
find you? Subbubs-Turn to the left
from the station and walk down the