davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
Mistook the Parrot for a Bird.

At dinner the other night a wager
was laid that Marshall P. Wilder. the
entertainer, could not tell fifty parrot
stories in succession, says the New
York Tribune. He did it without turn
ing a feather, and so many of them
were new that the man who came
away and told about it could remem-
Der only one.
1t was of the parrot which escaped
through window and perched in a
tree. The owners efforts to capture
it, even with a butterfly net, were in
vain. He TODD at the bottom of the
tree swearing at the bird, when an
Irishman came along.
What is the matter?" demanded
Pat.
Il can't catch that darned bird"
said the man, land here is a dollar for
the man who can"
Il am the man." chied Pat, and he
started up the tree.
AS he climbed from branch to branch
the parrot did the same. Finally they
neared the top, and the branches be-
gan to wabble dangerously. The par
rot was moved to speech.
What the devil do you want?" 1t
demanded.
81 beg your pardon" cried Pat, al
ready half way down the tree. 1T
thought you was a bird"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
BRIGHT BITS.

The Oceans Creed.-''Why do they
speak of it as a hungry sea?" 1T
takes the dinner right out Of a persons
mouth Town and Country.
Nothing to Show.-"What is your
nativity" asked the magistrate. II
haint got any, y'r Honor" said the
blear-eyed inebriate, feeling in his
pockets. "The police took everything
had."-Chicago Tribune.
Edith (to the AGENT come
with the gas bill? Well, mother is in
New York, and she forgot to leave the
money" Agent-"How do you know!'
Edith-"Because I heard her tell
nurse to tel you so If you came"-
Brooklyn Life.
Although the price named was a
very considerable one, the King has
felt compelled to decline the offer of
one of the leading American papers to
write an article entitled How it Feels
to Be Crowned. Punch.
-Ano Argument.-"Can't you work
in the game of ping-pong, in that his
torical novel you're writing? ?" INQUIRED
his friend. But it would be an an
achronism!" said the author. Il know
but it's hard to write an historical
novel without some anachronisms, and
ping-pong is an anachronism that
would pay!"-Puck.
Missed a Sale.-"I am selling a
new cyclopaedia,'' began the welll
dressed man who had been ushered
into the reception-room on the strength
of his makeup. Would you care to
look at it?' /" 'Taint no use" replied
Mrs. Neurich. "Id break my neck if
1 ever attempted to ride one of them
fool things. Chicago Daily News.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
ReverentinI Mental stale.

Devoutness rather than the gentle
manner or punctual habits would seem
to have developed in the Kensington
young man of whom a correspondent
of the Philadelphia Times tells He
is coaxed from his bed with difficulty
each morning by a patient mother, who
long ago taught him to begin the day
with an invocation for divine mercy
The whistle of a neighboring factory
is signal by which he generally
guides himself in his martutinal pro-
gress toward the downtown office in
which he is employed. A recent morn
ing was marked by more than the
usual number of maternal supplica-
lions that he awake and arise. She
tried again-this time, her voice full
of concern lest he be late.
John! J-o-h-nl" she called. when
are you coming down? The 7 O'Clock
whistle has blown"
Certainly, her bosom must have
swclled with pride as this reply was
waited down to her:
ITO - with the whistle! I'm say
ing my prayers, mother!"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
Think of the consequences.

The amateur entomologist was in &C.
stasies, says the Chicago Tribune.
II have just had a rare and most in
teresting experience" he said. 'I,have
spent more than an hour watching the
unfolding of a seventeen year locust :"
What was so blamed interesting
about that?' asked Farmer Ashcraft.
When first saw it," said the other,
''it was on an old stump in your or
chard over there. The chrysalid was
attached to the bark, and while l was
looking at it the shell slowly burst
open along the back and the insect
crawled out. 1t fell to the ground, a
fabby, shrimplike thing, and didn't
have any use of itself at first, but it
soon began to gather itself together,
Strengthened out, it's wings unfolded
gradually, it shook them to see if they
were all right, and then it's legs moved.
They had been curled up under the
body, you know. Then it moved along
the ground a few inches, and while I
was still watching it it shook it's wings
out again, gave a little spring, and flew
away just as if it had never done any
thing but fly for the last seventeen
years"
And you let it get away"
Certainly. Why not? 1 was more
interested in"
you durn fool"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29

The party in the smoking room OF the
steamer was talking of Irish wit and
the auickness thereof, says the New
York Tribune. Several gave personal
experiences, and one man, to his sor-
row, tried to use an old story. Then
spoke the agent for an exporting
house.
Il was coming up the South Ameri-
can coast on a sailing ship last win
ter" he said, when this happened
There was a Norwegian in the crew
who was absolutely fearless aloft. He
did number of tricks for us one at
ternoon, and as d grand finale stood
on his head on top of the mainmast.
We held our breaths until he swung
himself back into the rigging.
L would like to see any of you do
that he boosted when he reached the
deck
~ can do it, said a little Irishman.
one OF the kind who will never be
'stumped' I can do it, and forthwith
he started up the mast.
I'VE could see from the way he
climbed that he knew nothing of NOV
ing about aloft, and the captain yelled
at him through the megaphone to come
down before he killed himself. He
howled back that he was going to
stand on his head first. He reached the
cross trees and was actually putting
his heels into the air, when the ship
rolled and down he came. We held our
breaths again.
Fortunately ne struck in the sag
of a loose sail, bounded off and lit on
the deck on his feet.
" I'd like to see any of you do that!
he cried, even before he had recovered
from the shock. I'd like to see you!"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
THE PRESIDENT AND THE CANA

THE PRESIDENT AND THE CANAL.
It is predicted by the admirers of the
| President that he will be in a posi-
ton to authorize the beginning of work
on the Panama canal by the end of the
| present year. It is his purpose. II is
said, to send a commission to Paris
at once, to see what is necessary 10 be
done. if anything. to perfect the Pan
anna Canal Company's title TO it's prop
erty, so that it can give good title
to the United States. Negotiations
with the government of Columbia viii
be begun at Washington Immediately
for the necessary concession from that
country.
There Is no doubt Of course that the
President will do all that It is posi-
BILE to do to further the interests of
the canal. He is a hustler, and will
not permit the grass to grow under
his feet. Besides, il is believed that
he is so firmly convinced that the ca
nal can be built in much shorter time
than indicated by reports of engineers
that he will aim not only to succeed
himself as President, but, Also to COM
plete the canal so that it will be opened
before the expiration of the term for
which he hopes to be elected. That is
a pretty big ambition. but it is much
like Mr.. Roosevelt to undertake two
such things.
Some of the ablest of the engineers
who have visited the Panama canal
are of the opinion that it cannot be
completed in less than fifteen years.
The Presidents idea, If he is rightly
quoted, is that it can be made ready
for the passage Of vessels through it
within six years.
But the President may not be able
to begin work on the canal as soon as
he thinks. We called attention the
other day to the prediction of Senator
Morgan, that it would not be posi-
Bile to get a clear title to the Panama
Canal Companys property. To that
prediction Representative Hepburn
adds the weight of his opinion. Mr..
Hepburn is the author of the Nicara-
qua canal bill. and it was through his
efforts that that bill was passed so
promptly by the House. He says he
does not think the President will be
successful in his efforts to perfect the
title of the Panama Canal Company to
its property-that he will find complica-
tons that are not now suspected, and
that, eventually, the Panama route
will have to be abandoned.
In the opinion therefore of the two
men in Congress who have had the
most to do with the isthmian canal leg
islation, the question of the route for
the canal is by no means settled yet.
But it seems to be settled that we are
to have an isthmian canal-if not on
the Panama route then on the Mica
ragua route.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Montgomery Advertiser (Dem)
says; ut will hardly be possible for
the enemies of canal legislation to
wriggle out of the position they have
placed themselves in, and if the Spoon
er scheme was bluff, let its advocates
be forced to make the bluff good and
let the work proceed. Panama may not
be the best but ii is better than moth
ing"
The Birmingham Age Herald (Dem)
says: ITO make a long story short all
three-Bryan, Hill and Cleveland-are
unavailable in 1904, and the coming
man must be sought elsewhere Some
are looking to Maryland some TO Ohio,
and some to the results of the elections
this fall. for entries will not be ended
until after the elections In November,
1903"
The Jacksonville Times Union and
Citizen (Dem.) says: Those Floridians
who advocate, the dispensary as pro-
VCcative OF peace and good viii should
turn an ear towards South Carolina
now. The primary under the shade OF
thar palmetto Is much hotter than tho
weather IN Florida. though We take the
sun unsheltered In an open melon
patch"
The Philadelphia Record Dem.)
says: Protection rs the Jane Toppan
Of American industries. While with
tender hands she nurses her infants
into seeming health and pulehntude
she at the same time nils them with
the slow and subtle poison ~ insaflste
greed in me long run fEls be- sure
death. A. they cannot live cad let nvo'
they perish ~ the milk upon
which they Wera FED"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
personal.

Friends of Mosolino, the Italian
brigand, are seriously contemplating
running him as a candidate for the
Italian Chamber. If elected he would
have to be released from Jail
Senator Spooner was in the midst
of a fine flight of oratory on the Phil
ippine bill the other day when Senator
Pettus interrupted him. IF the Sem
ator will yield 1 wish to make a mo-
tiOn?" asked Mr.. Spooner. Il move
to adjourn" said the Alabama man,
with the utmost seriousness. Mr..
Spooner did not appear to relish the
joke, but his colleagues were greatly
amused.
Senator Hoar has gone to his home
in Massachusetts and will not return
this session unless something import
ant demands his presence at Washing
ton. His house in Worcester was pur-
chased by him some forty years ago,
when property was cheap, and is,
therefore, a very large plot of ground
almost in the center of the city. 1t
used to belong to John Hancock of
Revolutionary fame. The house is a
roomy but unpretentious building, and
is chiefly remarkable for it's enormous
library. Thousands of volumes are
piled ceiling high in this great room,
and Mr.. HOar spends hours and hours
among his books.
Comes now Prof. Hamilton of the
New York Museum of Natural History
and deposes that in his opinion Goth
am will be destroyed by volcanic erup-
ton. The trouble may not arrive for
ages, and then again it may make its
appearance tomorrow The professor
says that Manhattan Island, Long ISL
and, Staten Island and pretty much all
of New Jersey are of volcanic origin,
and he says: They will all be totally
destroyed by the same forces. The old
lava streams, now solicited rock like
the Palisades, are liable to break out
again to permit an outlet for the fires
now imprisoned by nature
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
THE MORNING NEWS is published

AAh MOnNANU NEWS is puDHShed
every day in the year. and served TO
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail,
at 20 cents a month. $500 for six
months. and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week without Sunday issue),
three months $3.50; six months. $500:
one year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (Monday and Thursday, by mail,
enc year. S1.OO.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order. check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading no.
tees, amusements and cheap or want
column. 10 cents a line. Fourteen lines
of agate ;ype-equal to one inch in
depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
Office.
Orders for delivery Of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 21O. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City. II. C. Faulkner. Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
ITO MAFFICk," A NEW VERB.

Some of our readers may have been
a little puzzled the other day to read
in our London dispatches the state
ment that on the evening of the day
the King was operated upon great
crowds of the lower elements of the
city were marketing through the flag
decked Streets" and again, that the
"maffickers' were a boisterous and
rowdy lot. The strange words posi-
ton in the sentences gave some idea
of its meaning to those who have fol-
lowed the course of events in the
South African war. possibly, but no
doubt many regarded it as a barbar-
ism of the London slums.
Since no less an authority than
Poultney Bigelow, who went to school
with the German Emperor, assures us
that the word has come to stay" and
that it will become as good English
as boycott" and rubber" it is well
enough to go back a little and note the
origin of 'maffick." Parenthetically
1t may be stated that until Mr.. Bige-
low said so, in an article in a recent
edition of the Independent, most per-
sons were not aware that the verb
Ito rubber" meaning TO turn the head
to an elastic degree for the purpose of
noting what others are doing, had be-
come an accepted fixture in the Ian
guage. But the language is largely re-
cruited from slang.
During the darkest days. for Eng
land, of the Boer war there was a
British garrison beleaguered in the
small South African town of Matching
1t seemed that the town must fall,
Notwithstanding the heroic defense
that was made. Then one day, after
long waiting and hard fighting, Mafek-
ing was relieved. The news was flash
ed to London. and London went wild
with delight. 1t was believed that the
relief of Mafeking meant the early end
ing of the war. All London turned out
of doors and celebrated, with flags,
bonfires, fireworks, fire-water, shout
ing, singing, fighting. cheering and
otherwise giving expression to patri-
otto enthusiasm. Thus ''Mafeking
night" went into history as one of the
widest scenes of popular rejoicing ever
witnessed in London, and from that in
cident and the name of the South At
rican town was born the verb ito maj
fick." The new word, therefore, means
to cut UP all sorts of high jinks and
didoes in celebration of some public
event.
The word may be adopted into the
English of England. but we doubt of
il will prove popular in America. Ma
feking does not mean much to US ex-
cept a place where the brave Beers
failed.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29

ties on all articles and commodities
manufactured. controlled or produced
in the United States by illegal COM
binations.
OF course, the Republicans viii pay
no attention TO these declarations.
They have no intention of attacking
trusts. The administration may bring
suits against them, but it is not yet
certain that it is its purpose to press
these suits to a trial. If 1t were very
much in earnest in its efforts to COM
pei trusts to respect the law it would
have had the officials of the trusts
against which it has begun civil pro-
ceedings, indicted, instead of bringing
civil suits against them. The argu-
ment that it hadn't sufficient evidence
to justify criminal proceedings is an
excuse for deahng gently with its
friends-an excuse that will hardly be
accepted as satisfactory by the people.
The Republicans will find before the
congressional campaign is over that
they will have to take much more
pronounced stand against trusts than
they have yet.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
THE DECLARATIONS of THE DEM.
OCRATS.

The declarations which were adopt-
ed at a caucus of the Democratic
members of the House on Friday night
make a strong campaign document
They put the Democratic party right
before the country in the matters of
reciprocity with Cuba and trusts.
1t is pointed out that at the begin
ming of the present session the House.
assisted by the Democratic minority
passed a bill reducing the tariff on
sugar imported from Cuba. This bill
however, provided for the removal of
the differential on refined sugar. The
purpose of the differential is to pro
tect the sugar trust from outside com
petition. The Republicans Of the SEN
ate refused 10 pass this bill, because
they did not want TO hurt their friend
the sugar trust. And so Cuba got no
relief. The Republican Senate pre-
ferred that Cuba should suffer fnan-
cial ruin rather thnn that there should
be legislation that was hostile 20 the
sugar trust.
In their declarations the Democrats
also point out that the Republican
party a. dominated by the trusts. and
b. not willing 20 enact any legislation
that Do hostile 10 them. IN proof or
this they demand that before Congress
aajourns the antitrust law shall be-
20 amended as 90 protect trade ana
commerce against unlawful fesifsints'
and moH9poiirs. end also mat meas
are shell b. passed 10 reduce the du-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29

Race troubles are multiplying in Illi-
nois. Now II is at the town of Can
ton, in that state. where the slogan
is, THE negro must 60" Up to last
year there were only three families of
negroes in Canton. As long as the
blacks were so few. there was no trou-
BILE; but when they began to move in
and take places in the pillow works the
friction began. For some months now
there has been bad feeling. Trouble
was precipitated the other day when
young negro had the proprietor of a
bowling alley arrested for refusing to
permit him to roll tenpins. The work
ers in the mills and foundries imme-
diately notified the employers of negro
labor that the blacks had to go, or
there would be strike and other trou-
BILE. Many of the blacks have been
discharged but some few remain at
work. The whites say there must be
a clean sweep. And that is how the
negro is treated In the house Of his
Northern friends"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
The North Carolina Hot sprinE1-

Mountain Park Hotel, Hot Springs. N.
C.-New ownership, new management,
house entirely made over, thoroughly
modern and in every way desirable.
New and modern bath house, new CASH
no for rainy day amusements. Do you
suffer with rheumatism, govt, sciatica,
nervousness, sleeplessness and indiges-
ton? For these and such troubles our
hot mineral waters and baths are I'M
surpassed in the world. In the Great
Smoky Mountains, grand scenery, de-
lightful climate 100 acres of beautiful
park; magnificent golf links, horseback
riding, mountain climbing, bowling,
tennis, crouqeting, and ping ponging.
No more delightful summer resort in
the world. Illustrated booklet. Write
us. HOWELL COBB, Prop.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29

Pierpont Morgan heard OF the Kings
Illness while riding on the underground
railway. There was only one other
passenger in the coach with him. a
stranger. The stranger wrote on a
piece of paper the word. "perityphlltis"
and handed II 10 Mr.. Morgan. saying
that was what was the matter with
the King and that the coronation had
been postponed. Mr. Morgan said
nothing until two stations had been
passed, then handed tine paper buck
with the remark You don't SAY" The
word "psulyphius" which Mr Nor
gan had probably never seen before.
and the manner ~ his companion poe
sinlY H,ado bim think ho was riding
with b crank.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
20 PAGES.
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meeting-Forest City Council No. 16,
Jr. o. u. A. M.
Special Notices-City Ordinance;
Shoe Statesmen Wanted; Notice, G. w
shackelford, D. b. s.; An Electric
Sewing Machine Motor. Savannah
Electric Company; Notice, Red Cross
Laundry; Your Choice of Rooms at
Suwanee Springs; Splendid New Store
for Rent, Chas. F. Fulton; Dividend
Augusta and Savannah Railroad Com
pany; Sewer Connections, Cornwell &
Chapman; Ice Cream. Jerry George;
Dinner Bill of Fare, Union Station
Restaurant; Ice Cold Melons, Jas. j.
Joyce; Notice AS to Lost Check.
Business Notices-Electric Fans,
Electric Supply Company; The Ray
Company; Silver Belt Pins, Theus
Bros.
June 29-Get It at Rowlinsks.
Who Says Things Are Dun?-T. A.
Bryson.
''To Look Pleasant!-Byck Bros.
Monster Fourth of July Celebration
at Tybee.
Twenty-Five Peg Cent. Discount at
the Metropolitan Clothing Company.
For a Grand Days Outing-Take
Cars of Savannah Electric Railway.
Note These Unmatchable Values-At
the Bee Hive.
Great Opportunity!-Daniel Hogan.
Mems, Youths and Boys Clothing
B. H. Levy & Bro.
On
Company
Laundries-D. s. w. Laundry; Red
Cross Laundry.
New in the Field, But OLD in FIX
perience-Delmonico Company.
Our Warm Weather Bill of Fare
Collats.
Specials for This week-At Bern
STEMS.
Red Seal shoes-J. K. Orr Company.
Paste-Stearns' Electric Paste.
Remnants-Foye & Eckstein.
Whiskeys-Yellow Label Whiskey;
Murray Hill Club Whiskey.
More Values, Less Prices-B. H.
Levy & Bro.
Stock Taking Specials-At Jackson's.
Ten Per Cent. Discount-Globe Shoe
Company.
Best Bicycle Bargains-Wm. g. H.
H. baltimore.
Reduction Offers-Thos. West & Co.
Go to the South End-The Coolest.
Biggest and Most Delightful Pavilion.
Our Fire Sale-Rhodes-H averty
Company.
Real Estate-Rivers & Gibbes.
Our Entire Stock To Be Sold in 60
Days-Allen Bros.
Something New-John Derst.
Stock-Taking is Over-At Gustave
Eckstein & Co.'S.
Pianos, Graphaphones. Etc.-McAr-
thur & Sons Company.
Brick-Georgia-C Carolina Brick Com
pany. Augusta. Ga.
We Are Now Taking an Inventory
Leopold Adler.
Summer Resorts-Victoria Inn. Ashe-
vile. N. c.; Harris Lithia Springs
Hotel. Harris Springs. S. c.
Pimple Faces. Etc.-Cured by Berry's
Tea and Ella Berry Hoilet Requisites
Peterman's Roach Food-Columbia
Drug Company.
Buy Gas Range-Mutual Gas Light
Company.
Medical-Peruna; S. S. s.; Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure; Mrs. Summer;
Worlds Dispensary Preparations; Gu
ticura; DR. David Kennedy's Favorite
Remedy Stuarts Gin and Buchu; Hos
letters Stomach Bitters; Mothers
Friend; Cascarets; DR.. Hathaway
Company; German Grape Remedies.
Cheap Column Advertisements
Help Wanted; Employment Wanted;
For Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal;
Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-29
Reflections Of n bachelor.
From the New York Press.

The more times a man measures a
woman's logic the shorter IL gets.
The quarrelsome man is mad with
you II your quarrel with him, but
madden II YOU won't.
one reason a woman likes 10 go home
10 visit her family Is so she can speak
OF her chore boy as the butler or
coachman.
Pretty girls wear stockings v-he,
they go in swimming-no because thew
are AFRAID ~ getting suuburn on their
legs. but ~ showing corns.
The good thing about women b. that
they can 90 80 many things wifho5t
knowing bow. while the men ~ tbe
tainlif Know bow bat can't
pen men ls getnng in seven
hours N sDund sweet riaep every ni.,ht
pa ihe nme when his vito heFlne 81
offf i4f fear he ought io b. ss,ting
seven end e. half