The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-01-31

''That bird has tongue as sharp as
two-edgcd sword
The speaker was a Ninth street fan
cicr; the bird parrot with an abnormal
ly curved beak and rainbow plumage;
the person addressed a prospective buyer,
perhaps.
The reply to the more or less compll-
mentary allusion to the parrot, perched
III gilded cage, was drawn out
"N-c-s,' which plainly indicated curiosi-
ty.
"a sailor brought it from Laguayra to
THIS port"
rs that SOP replied the fancier's COM
pallion, his infection sounding encourage
ingly inquis!tive to the dealer, who add
ed:
Under tine able tutorship of the sailor
that bird acquired strong, if not cle-
CANT vocabulary
At this point the fancier plucked tho
parrot by the tail, laughing outright at
the angry CLEAN which flashed from the
near eye Of his victim. The fancierS
human victim grlnned, without knowing
just why.
One day. continued the seller of
birds. the sailor sold itt''-,indicating the
parrot-''to an uptown dealer in junk
''How much?' inquired the prospective
patron, rather mechanically.
Il can't recall the exact price," was
the reply; '*but no matter, he sold it,
The fancier's sole auditor was clearly
interested, so the former proceeded.
in his shop where, a few days later, he
was driving hard bargain with q Gus
toner. Matters had assumed roseate
hue for the junk man when that bird
screeched:
Hes liar, strangerv
%I,oA
chg calculated the hitherto patient lis
tener. jumping with both feet into the
hunor of the situation.
"Jarred him? Well. I should say it
did. Why, that fellow was that hot he
grabbed that parrot by the neck and
dead. Then he flung it on the floor
''Poor Pollr' exclaimed the prospective
"Poor nothing!r' cried the fancier.
from the floor where it lay and
That's what you are, all right"'
'I'll be dr. calculated the fancier's
victim. surprised into indiscreet speech.
Hurried on by the very impetus of his
recital, the fancier resumed:
lust as soon as that junk chap could
rot by the neck. twirling it until it hung
as limp in his nand as a dishrag.''
Dead this time?" was the eager in
r9iry.
me. hut that bird. after an interval en-
ployed in Strengthening out the twists in
it's neck. reiterated
'T-h-a-t's what You are, all
r-i-,g.h-t!'
Bound to have the last word?' sug-
gcsted the fancier's victim, a CHASTITY
smile distOrting his features.
"Just so:'' said the fancier, ignoring the
irony. adding. Its female bird.'-Phil-
adelphia Telegraph.
She was large lady with a double
chin and gray pompadour, and she was
talking earnestly. Her companion. a lit
tie quiet mouse of creature, was doing
the heavy listening.
MY dcar.'' pealed out a masterful
voice TO the ears of the other occupants
of the street car, lit is positively dis
graceful the stories that people tell. You
coats for ladies in decollarette costume.
and would you believe it. they asked me
il she was really going in for dress re-
form. The idea of anyone casting such
asparagus upon Mrs. Roosevelt!'-Wash
ingt0n Times.
10 one who sees Justice Gray of the
\
emily upon the bench, or walking with
grave and dignifed mien up Pennsylva-
mia avenue after the court has adjourned,
would believe that he is susceptible to
humor.. says the Washington Post. In
fact. throughout his long service on the
bench only one instance is recorded where
he deigned to exhibit a jocular mood
1t was the day when Judson L. Har-
mon. then attorney general, was making
an argument before the court He had
occasion to display map showing the
locality in which the land in dispute was
situated. and held it up for the inspection
of the court. 1t was very small map,
and difficult to see from the bench. Mr..
Harmon referred to it as "a bird's-eye
view"
Justice Gray squinted his eyes in the
effort to discern the map. ''Mr. Attor-
ney General he said in despair. Il re-
greet to tell you that am not bird.''
And then the justice, chuckling over
the outburst Of humor, sank back in his
seat and watched the attorney general
fold up the tiny map.
''How did you enjoy our reception last
night. uncle7" asked his city cousin of
Joshua Wayback. who was on his first
visit tc the city.
"Waal:" replied Uncle Joshua, lit don't
pear quite fair tew make tn menfolks
wear golfers high enuf few choke 'em
an, let tn wimern 60 round without no