The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1902-02-27
DOOLEYsO IN THE BEET.

discussing the sugar beet and these
two characters that Mr.. Dunno SO cleV-
erly makes discuss the current topics
OF the day, handle the subject in q
very amusing manner: .sss.
Hunger, Hinnissy, is about tn
same thing in a raypublic as in dis
potism. They'se not much choice "
nnhappiness between hungry slave
an q hungry freeman. Cuba cuddern't
cook or wear freedom. Ye can't make
freedom into stew an ye can't cut a
pair of pants out " it. It won't bile.
fry, bake or fricassee. Ye can't take
two pounds " fresh cremery freedom
a poundiv north wind, a theapin tav-
cupful iv national aspirations an, a
spinklin' iv bars firm the naytional
air, mix we'll, cook over hot fire an
Fsarve straight firm the shtove: We
can't make a dish out " that that wud
nourish a tired freeman whin he comes
home afther hard days wurruk look.
in FIR a job. So Cuba comes to US an
says she: 'Ye done we'll by u.s. she saws.
sYe give US freedom says she, AN
more thin enough to go round she
says, AN now, if ye PLACE, we'd like to
thrade little iv it back FIR a few gro.
ceries, she says. I'VE will wear wan
shackle FIR a ham, says she, 'an' we'll
put on full raygalia " ball an chain
an yoke an. letters an come-alongs FIR
a spare meal, says she.
"That sounds raysonable enough,
an bein' be nature gin'rous people
whin we don't think, we're about to
help her disthriss with whatever we
have cold in tn panthry .whin tn
thought iv tn Beet crosses our minds.
What will tn Beet say, tn red, tn
juicy, tn sacchrine Beet, tn Beet iv'
our fathers, tn; Beet iv Plymouth
Rock, Beet iv tn Pilgrims Pride,
Sweet Beet iv Liberty, iv thee I sing?
1--we do anything IF Cuba, down goes
the Beet an with tn Beet perishes our
instichoochions. The constichoochion
follows tn Beet ex propria vigore, as
Hogan says. Tn jooce iv tn Beet is
tn life blood iv our nation. Whoever
thouches hair~iv yon star-spangled
Beet, shoot him ION tn spot. A bold
Beet Industry, a counthry's pride,
whin wanst destroyed can niver be
supplied Beet Sugar an Liberty,
Now an Foriver. wan an insiprable'-
Danl Webster. Thank Gawd II
also am Beet'-th' same. az.
"'Gover'mint of tn Beet, by the
Beet an firth, Beet shall not perish
firm tn earth'-Abraham Lincoln.
An SO, Hinnissy, we put sh pie back
into tn ice chest where We keep our
honor an generosity an lock tn dure,
am Cuba goes home, free an hopeless.
Dye think so? Well, I don't. Be
hivens, Hinnissy, I think tn time
has come whin we've got to say with
err we're nation of Beets. I am no
serf, but I'd rather be bent under tn
dispOtism iv a Casteel thin under tn
tyranny iv a Beet. If I've got to be a
slave, I'd rather be wan to a man,
even a Spanish man, thin to yiggy-
table. If I'm goin' to be opprissed be
a Beet, let it be firm the inside, not
firm without. I'll choose me masther,
Hinnissy, an whin I do, twill not be
that 1ow-lyin' purple-complected,~ in
dygistible viggytable. may bend me
high head to tn eggplant, tn potato,
tn cabbage, tn squash, tn punkin,
tn sparrow-grass, tn onion, tn spin
ach, tn rutabaga turnip, the Fr-rinch
pea or tn parsnip, but twill niver be
said iv me that was subjygated be a
Beet. No, sir. Bother death. {.
The staid and dignifed old senate