davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Set For the Wrong Time.

He works In down town Office for
gruff old chap who has no love for
laggards. He is due at sharp, but
as he likes to be out O. nights he never
wakes up a moment too soon. He has
an alarm clock, which he sets at z,
and this gives him barely time to
dress. breakfast and reach the Office.
One day last week, the man having
forgotten to wind his clock the night
before. it didn't go off. So there were
explanations to be made about $50 a.
m. This was the excuse:
well, you see, Mr.. Gruff, know
how punctual you like all of your men
to be. so have an alarm clock, which
l set for in the morning. But, by
mistake, set it for Z in the evening
last night, and Of course it didn't go off
at in the morning today, as usual.
And oversight myself"
"Ah, you did? Well, I'll excuse you
this time. But set. it properly after
this"
And now the chap is wondering
whether or not 'the old man" was real
~ fooled or merely wanted to let him
down easy. Perhaps he thinks the
boss believes he has "a hour clock.
Panics and Religious Books.
There is one kind of business, accord
Ing to New York man prominent in
it. that does not enjoy easy financial
conditions. 1t is that of publishing de
votional and religious literature This
publisher explained this anomalous
condition as follows.
when everybody is prosperous,
there is no very great demand for our
publications. People are happy, and
they do not go to church to any great
extent. Preachers will tell you that
church attendance Is never so good in
prosperous times as 1t is in periods Of
financial straits.
Let panic come on. however. At
first our business feels it as keenly as
any other line. People suddenly cease
buying everything except what they
are obliged to have. AS times fail to
improve, people take more to going to
church. Attendance increases very
perceptibly. In few weeks we can
tell 1t in our business. There is a
greatly increased demand for devo-
tional books Of all kinds. The bust
ness increases, and at the very height
of the financial troubles we do the
largest business. AS times get better
you can see our trade in this line of
publications gradually drop off until,
when prosperity again comes round,
we settle down to normal business
quite different from the boom we had
been enioying."-New York Times.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
PREPARED CHALK.
How to Prepare an Effective and
Economical Dentifrice.

Economical Dentifrice.
Practically all the tooth powders of
commerce have the same base-pre-
pared chalk. This is mixed with some
saponaceous compound, favored a lit
tie, put up in an attractive bottle or
jar and, behold, tooth powder cost
ing from Is to so cents per vessel, ac-
cording to the place you buy it and the
celebrity of the name on the label.
For 10 cents enough tooth powder to
last family year can be put togeth-
er. Buy the chalk in bulk and with it
some ground CASTLE soap, which all
druggists sell. Put them together in
the proportion of one-eighth soap to
seyen-eighths chalk, mix well and fill
any and all the empty tooth powder
Jars or bottles that you may have
around. If flavoring is liked, it is easy
to add a little wintergreen or pepper
mint.
So with the various antiseptic and
disinfecting solutions that, attractively
bottled and judiciously advertised, coax
pennies unnecessarily out of our purses.
There is no better cleanser and general
sweetener than saturated solution Of
bicarbonate- of soda. Fill a pint or a
quart bottle, if you want to, with clear
water and add bicarbonate of soda got
from the druggist, not the grocer, until
the liquid will take up no more. Keep
this on your toilet shelf and use 1t as
a mouth wash, etc.
When it comes to an antiseptic fluid.
any surgeon will tell you that there is
practically nothing in materia medica
better than salt and water. 1t is al
ways at hand and is safe and effectual.
New York Post.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Conxenient

what are marsupials?" asked the
teacher. and Johnny was ready with
his answer
animals that have pouches in their
stomachs." he said glibly.
"And for what are these pouches
used?" asked the teacher, ignoring the
slight inaccuracy of the answer. I'm
sure that you know that too"
"Yes'm," said Johnny, with encour-
aging promptness. The pouches are
for them to crawl into and conceal
themselveswhen pursued" -Exchange.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
The, Revolution of 1s4S.

In March, 194S, I had to go over to
Paris to finish up some work there and
just came in for the revolution. From
my windows had fine view of all
that was going on. I well remember
the pandemonium in the streets, the
aspect Of the savage mob, the wanton
firing of shots at quiet spectators, the
hosting of Louis Philippe's nankeen
trousers on the Flagstaff of the Tuile-
ries. When the bullets began to come
through my windows, thought it time
to be off while it was still possible.
Then came the question how to get my
box full of precious manuscripts, etc.,
belonging to the East India company,
to the train.
The only railroad open was the line
to Havre, which had been broken up
close to the station, but farther on was
intact. In order to get there we had
to climb three barbados. I offered
my concierge 5 francs to carry my box,
but his wife would not hear of his
risking his life in the streets. Ten
francs; the same result. But at the
sight of louis dor she changed her
mind and, with an "Allez, mon ami;
allez, toujours," dispatched her hus-
band on his perilous expedition.
Arrived in London, went straight
to the Prussian legation and was the
first to give Bunsen the news of Louis
Philippe's flight from Paris. So even
a poor scholar had to play his small
part in the events that go to make up
history.-Max Muller's Autobiography.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Utilizing the Waplc Nroduct.

A parish in the highlands had been
cut off from communication with the
nearest town owing to a severe snow
storm, relates The Scottish American.
Supplies began to give out, and the
minister was much perturbed in mind
as his snuffbox was quite empty. The
Sabbath came round. How was he to
get through his discourse without the
aid of his usual stimulant? He appeal
ed to his faithful henchman, the sex
ton. Alas, he was in a similar unsat-
isfactory predicament! How was it to
be remedied? Andrew shook his head,
thought long and suddenly disappear
ed. Presently he returned with some
thing resembling snuff wrapped care
fully in paper. The minister took a
hearty pinch or two and then asked:
Where did you get it, Andrew?"
Please, sir, just went and swept
the pulpit oot." was the reply.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
What Two scotchmen Did.

In the early days Of California two
Scotchmen emigrated thither. One of
them, an enthusiastic lover of Scot
land, took with him a thistle, the ma
tional emblem. The other took a
small swarm Of honeybees. Years have
gone. The Pacific coast is, on the
one hand, cursed with the Scotch
thistle, which the farmers find impos-
sible to exterminate; on the other
hand, the forests and fields are laden
with the sweetness Of honey. which
has been and still is one of the bless
ings Of the western slope Of the Rocky
mountains.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
And He Felt Injured

Bill Borrower-Im in deuced hole,
Tom. If you can. wish you would
help me out.
Tom Wuggins-I'll help you any way
I can, but don't ask me again to put
my name on the back of your note.
Bill Borrower Qnjured)-I wasn't go.
Ing to ask you for your credit. Tom. I
was only looking for little cash.
New York Times.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
THE sHoTE WAS THERE.
Why One Old Farmer Thinks n.
Would Make a Good Detective.


Guess wouldn't have much trou-
bic gittin on the 'tective staff in De-
troit eff wanted ter make appercla-
tion," and the old farmer kicked a log
In the open fireplace so that he could
see his neighbors better. They were
assembled to hear him tell all about it,
"a when l missed that shote outen the
pen, next mornin it jest came ter me
sudden as lightnin that it had been
stole by that Their George Washington
Pepperville what had been workin fur
me. He knowed the dog, so it wouldn't
bother him none, and he was the DOW
erfulest man fur fresh pork I ever
see. So goes inter town and tells the
head man of the 'tectives, and he puts
n couple of fellers on the job, and they
reports that they was no shote about
Pepperville's shanty, and they was no
,sscase ag'in him. l lowed / might be
aollerin the wrong track, but 1 kim
home here and sot my own stakes and
i was to Pepperville's afore sunup.
Wash says, why didn't you
keep that hog when you had him?
Wasn't he fat 'nough yit ter suit youy
Who you talkin TOP he muttered.
sTsI'n hab de law on you eff you make
me any mo- trouble bout dat hawg.'
Now, Wash says 1, don't git your
dander up. That there shote kim
+ home in the night and went ter squeal-
In ter git inter the pen. rput ole Ras-
tus on the scent. and he landed me
right here
Dog gone dat Rastus,' he shouted,
Ill fay dat dog alibe.
u And he sprung ter the middle of the
( room and ripped up the foorin, and
there was the shote. Wash would
have jumped on me, but jest kivered
him with that ole muzzle loadin pistol
OF mine and tole him ter go gentlelike.
Well, sir, he begged and whined so
let him off, him agreein ter tote the
pig home in bag and ter chop wood
fur me three days fur my trouble."-
Detroit Free Press.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
What IS
Ovar.nIS =

A dull, throbbing pain, accompanied
by sense of tenderness and heat low
down in the side, with an occasional
shooting pain, indicates Inflammation.
On examination it will be found that
the region Of pain shows some swell
ing. This il the first stage'of ovaritis,
Inflammation Of the ovary: If the roof
of your house leaks, my sister, you have
it fixed at once ; why not pay the same
respect to your own body2
You need not, you ought not to let
yourself 60, when one of your own sex
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Another MATER

City Magistrate-Of course I don't
wish to stand in the way Of my daugh-
ter's happiness, but know SO little of
you. Mr.. Hawkins. What is your vo-
cation?
Mr.. Hawkins (airily)-Oh, write er
poetry, novels-er-plays and that
sort of thing.
City Maglstrate-Indeed! Most inter-
esting! And how do you live?-Punch.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Between TIPS.

Facetious Diner Ito very tall and ex-
ceedingly procrastinating servitor)-
For more than one reason you might be
called long waiter.
Waiter-Yes; 1 sometimes measure
half day from tip to tip, sir.-Smart
Set.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
BOTTOMS LAST YEAR.
he Way He Spent 1t Preparing For
His Death.

8Nne WY ne spent HI Preparing For
49, His Death.
n BILLY Bolton, the Lansingburg brew
v, was very rich man and one with q
I'D lost of friends" said an up state man
N p the New York Sun. Ills, brewery
|jI An Lansingburg was a profitable con-
Germ, and he practically owned about
~ Sall the saloons in that town
"One day after consultation his ply
Il 9sicians told him that he had Bright's
oS disease and that he surely would not
Give more than year. Billy took their
ESioG ord for it and made up his mind to
'Eweehake the fur fly while life was left.
~ le had never Travelled much, and SO he
decided to go around the world
,Snnrl He took with him congenial friend
u md plenty of money, and away they
yent. They left trail of fire and ash
Nefys through all the capitals of Europe
.FeSnd the queer and strange places of
Asia and Africa. After nine months
hey came back and Bolton brought
Hgsin F1th him the most marvellous collection
III af souvenirs and presents that any
4 ~ ban not professional collector ever
EN- brought into this country. The duties
@ emounted to $4,000.
~
HFale town hall, sent his packing boxes
g@ aled with these oriental and European
2 measures up to the hall and had them
FFHi-il taken out and put on exhibition as
Though for church fair. Upon each
@5 Rrticle he marked the name of some
4 Friend whom he wished TO remember
with gift. There were hundreds in
III fhis category, but Billy had presents
XIV for them all.
A "On the day appointed for the pres
@ sentation he invited his army of friends
81 TO the town hall. To each he turned
pver the present selected for him, and
HI amid the cheers of his grateful and ad-
M lmiring fellow townsmen the han was
& stripped of its beautiful things.
When the last present had been
placed in the hands of it's recipient
ssBilly went back to his home and lay
down to die. Within the year hts phy-
sicians' prophecy came true, and the
town gave him the finest funeral that
any man ever had.'
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Fnir Sized.

"No." said the retired Snowman, 81
won't say that we had the biggest
giant that ever happened. but it is a
solemn fact what am going to tell
you. This giant had penchance, or
whatever you call it, for trying new
styles Of whiskers."
IN HIM."
well, when he wanted new style
laid out he had to send for landscape
gardener. "-Indianapolis Press.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Fatigue and Disease.

You will find in every days practice
that fatigue has a larger share in the
promotion or the permission Of disease
than any other single casual condition
you can name.-"Memoirs of Sir John
Paget."
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
A Great Error.

my hero dies in the middle of my
latest novel" said the young author.
That's grave mistake" replied the
editor. HE should not die before the
reader does.:'-Atlanta Constitution.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Looked the Part.
ufggs a camera fiend?'

"Is Squiggs camera fiend?"
II don't know, but he certainly look.
ed like 1t in the first snap shot his wife
took of him."-San Francisco Bulletin.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02

Buenos Ayres is the largest city south
OF the equator. Rio de Janeiro comes
next. and Sydney, New South Wales,
is good third.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
million. Made by Planting Trees.

MILLIONS Mnde Dy Flanttng Trees.
Any one who takes vital interest in
the welfare of his grandchildren can
insure their being rich by planting
trees on treeless land, which land he
can leave to them in his will. Some
big British fortunes have been provid-
ed for in this manner. A predecessor
of the present Duke of Athole had a lot
of land, but it was not especially valu-
able-ln fact, he was "land poor"
He determined that his descendants
should fare better and so began plant
ing trees. In the course of his lifetime
he planted 14,O95.719 larch trees alone,
covering an area of 1924 acres. His
last plantation covered 1880 acres,
which in the ordinary way becomes a
forest of mature timber 10 years after
planting. Trimmed down to about $50
trees an acre, each tree will contain at
least 80 cubic feet Of timber, which, at
25 cents foot. gives a sum of $4,375
an acre, total for the value of the
timber on the last plantation alone of
$34. 100000.
The whole initial outlay for this plan
tation, which has so increased the
wealth of the ancient house of Athole,
Is said to have been only about 5000
for the Seeding trees and the cost Of
the labor of planting them. The main
tenance of the wood was paid for out
of the profits arising from the sale of
young wood when, thinning the planta-
fiOnS
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02

holds out the helping hand to you, and
will advise you without money and
without price. Mrs. Pinkham's labora-
tory is at Lynn, Mass. Write a lette,
there telling all your symptoms an
get the benefit of the greatest exper
ence in treating female ills.
81 was suffering to such an exte1
from ovarian trouble that my phys
clan thought an operation would
necessary.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Co
pound having been recommended !,
me, decided to try it. After usi
several bottles I found that
cured. My entire system was to1 "A
up, and I suffered no more with 3S
ovaries."-MRs. ANNA ASTON, Troy.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
A Saving Man.

"Bilkins got married rather sudden
ly, didn't hep
"Yes; somebody gave him railway
pass to Bournemouth for two, and he
didn't want to waste it."-London Tit
Bits.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Would Know Later.

Patient-Now. doctor. what's the
matter with me. anyway?
:. The Head Consulting Physician-My
dear sir, do you suppose that If we
knee what was the matter with you
we would have decided to hold post
mortem? -Harper's Bazaar.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02

Few men ever reach the top. proba-
bly, because the top grows away from
the average man as fast as he Climbs
Chicago News.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-01-02
Montezuma,. Well.

One Of the most pleasing natural
curiosities in the territory of Arizona
is the pool of water known as Monte
zuma's well. 1t is situated Is miles
northeast of the old abandoned mill
tary post known as Camp Verde. 1t is
$50 feet in diameter, and the clear,
pure water is about 60 feet below the
surface of the surrounding country.
Some years ago certain military off,
GERS sounded the pool and found that
1t had uniform depth of 80 feet of
water except in one place, apparently
about six feet square, where the sound
ing line went down about 500 feet
without touching bottom.
The well empties into Beaver creek
only about 100 yards distant, the wa
ter gushing forth from the rocks as
though it were under great pressure.
The we'll is undoubtedly supplied from
subterranean sources, possibly through
the hole sounded by the army officers
years ago. The sides of the well are
honeycombed with caves and tunnels,
permitting sightseers to descend to the
waters edge.
Montezumas well contains no fish.
The flow Of water from it is the same
throughout the season. Popular opin-
ion has attributed the origin of the
we'll to volcanic action, but as the rock
surrounding it is limestone it is more
than probable that the action of the
water is responsible for its creation
Native American.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-08-17
Educational Activity in North carolin;

Educational ACTIVITY IN North Carolina
The educational spirit has touched the
people everywhere. New schoo-houses
are being built, longer school terms Sc
cured, better teachers employed and local
taxes levied. State educational appropria-
lions have been doubled in the past ten
years, and more money has been given
during that time to endoW colleges and
vious one hundred years. DR.. McIver re-
ports that within the past twelve months.
between thirty and forty elections have
been held to decide whether or not local
school taxes should be levied, and the
cause of public education has Deen defeat
ed in only three or four sections. During
the same time four hundred public libra
ries have been established in connection
with rural schools, "A special campaign
for education was inaugurated by a con-
sent out a proclamation against illiteracy
and decided to hold district conferences
at different centres. The first was held
at Greensboro, the second at Charlotte,
$4,000 being raised at one and $1,000 at
the other. These sums were at once dup
Heated by the General Education Board.
making S20.0J0 to be used not in the cities
where the money was raised. but in rural
communities which will vote tax upon
themselves to meet the gifts of the con-
ferenceS
1t is vital to the success OF this move
nent to remember that mere extension
of the present school term from four to
eight months will not meet the needs
Of the people: AS leading educator well
says, the school should touch every in
terest of the community. It should fit
children for their environment and send
them back into the community with the
desire and capacity to enrich that neigh
borhood. 1t is towards this ideal that
educa tional agitators are working in North
Carolina and in other Southern States
Southern Workman.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-08-17

of clothes, even though the list include
nothing more. Dances, dinnerS and
similar entertainments are the same tho
world over. The dainty, filmy gowns
well provide for them. whether by tho
sea or on the mountain-top. What be-
long distinctly to the mountains are
those sturdier costumes which one may
tramp and revel in running brooks
gorgeous sunsets and views that make
the heart leap. What the wise woman
buys first are the costumes that allow
enjoyment without anxiety that will with
stand all the usage she may see fit to
inflict.
MAY MANTON,
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-08-17
Books and Authors;
Comment and Gossip.

That chivalry is not dead in Virginia
was illustrated to the writer only q few
days ago at Foy's Springs, just beyond
the University at Charlottesville. At
least, the adventure has a co!oring Of the
old days. Given small swords and cloaks
and plu,nes and hosiery and ell that sort
of thing, and it would have done very
yell for a scene from a novel, OF from
the life, of the days of romance. There
was a bevy of girls. near their twenty
SUMMERS seated up the path from the
iron spring. They had a chaperene and
We're heing escorted by not'vcry we'll
bred young me-cock. who was rather
overconscicus OF his Office A stranger in
gray, also young and eager. armed only
with light cane and carrying a guide
book. strolled down to the iron spring
and tasked the water. Some of the bold
er girls. being out on a. frolic, sought 20
"iolly him" and called 'hello, hello" at
the birds in the trees over his head. He
took up the challenge and to their obvious
CONSERVATION walked UP to where they
sat How fortunate I am he said, re-
moving his Panama, "to find friends here
Really. I thought I was a. stranger in
Charlottesville Will .rou kindly direct me
TO the sulphur spring here, tc which. I am
told, you Charlottesville ladies modestly
attribute your beautiful complexion"
The blushing young ladies and their
haperonc were too much taken abaCk to
reply to this audacity; but Mr.. Escort
bri1led up with an insolent remark that
there was no such spring in that neigh
b0rhood. The stranger turned and looked
significantly at a spring near by.
He wants to improve his complexion
sneered Escort. well, it needs it," said
he.
TIE stranger smiled at this youthful
wit.
81 could easily put some color into
yours" he remarked, gesturing, signifi-
cantly down the hill
Escort was little man. He jumped to
his feet and came on with bellgerent
Srowl. But the chaperole and the girls
threw themselves into the breach, and
held him back.
mo, no WILLIE" they exclaimed "You
mustn't fight. Don't you see that you
mustn't fight. Let's not have any trou-
bic. Besides, he's lots bigger than you
are
The rest of their colloquy with willie
was in subdued tones; but I saw the
stranger turn back when he found he was
not being followed to the rendezvous
Ladies'" he exclaimed in a whitening
tone, as he moved away. IT quote you:
Spare the rod and spoil the child