The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-10-24

HeaNeI, provided WIN .inOtnei, biscuit.
again set it hurting across the table.
This time it struck the young man Oh the
chin. He started to speak. but the pro-
fessor's wife held up her 4handin warl-
lHS Shh h? she said' the professor is
-. LOOK OUT FOR A YELLOW EXTRA.
William La Forge receiveds;a letter
frohl the manager Of the Milwaukee
Journal, asking fora picture ofAhis giant
squash spoken Of in our last issue. The
squash will no doubt be photographed
and copies sent to different points TO
show the prolific properties Of the soil
i'll this locality.-Colfax Messenger.
He had called at house in the sub
urbs on business, and as he arose to go
he said: ,aa
Il believe you were in the lake district
last Summer! ~.
"Yes.''.,
go ishing?'
'Catch anything?'
"Onc little perch
:.Ha, ha, ha! That's what I*expected.
Well, good night" n &
When the caller had gone the wife
said, Indignantly:
''kichard, how can you sit there and
we caught over twenty fish weighing FIVE
pounds apiece, and that big jack weighed
eleven pounds"
"My dear wife," returned the husband
soothingly, you don't know human M
ture. That man is now willing to take
my word for $500 II had told him Of
those fish he would have gone away be-
lieving me to be the biggest fibber in the
kingdom. "-Tit-Bits.
-:O:-
Towne-1 never expected Goodfellow
to become such common bore; one of
the common herd, in fact.
Browne-That's a new DEVELOPMENT.
ToWne-Yes, comparatively. He's one
Of the multitude whose coal dealers
warned them last spring to get in their
winters coal and they were Just going
to, but-.-Philadelphia Press.
Some Of Camden's ''practical' politi-
clans were talking Pennsylvania politics
the other evening on the porch of the
West Jersey Hotel. and the discussion
naturally drifted into discussion Of the
reform movements that have marked the
campaigns here in recent years. One Of
the group said that Philadelphia's re-
formers always reminded him Of the vii
lage tippler whose WIFE after trying for
years to cure him, felt impelled to call in
the services Of the local minister The
minister exhorted, argued and moralized
for half an hour or more, and wound UP
with the sage observation:
Remember, good brother, it is never
too late to mend"
DO you really mean that, parson-
that it's never too late?" asked the I'LL
regenerate one.
Surely, brother-it's never too late."
replied the parson.
well, if that's the case,' rejoined the
| Inv1ln holt
longer. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
-:O:-
"Much business this morning?', said
the chemist to his new assistant as he
entered the shop, which was also a post
office. Yes, sir" replied the youth. II
have had busy morning of it. There
have been six women in to look at the
directory, and I've obliged eight people
With VT; postage ?! stamps, besides changing
Technical, Also.-"You see," said the
young man who was explaining the mimic
war; the attack is carried on the same
as in actual warfare, except that the
missels are only technical Now, suppose
that | am commanding brigade, and l
should, be charged by regiment Of the
enemy
Technically r. asked the young woman.
1AAu ouppoSc Luey QreQ
'Technicallys' repeated the young
Yes: yes And 1 should be encourar-
ing my men to make a last stand"-
"Technically?
''Of course. And should get in range
of the enemy's fire, and should be Shot
through the BRAIN -
Oh interrupted the fair damsel. II
know that would have to be technically,
too!'-Baltimore American.
$50 he's trying to live on other peo-
pies. brains," said the publisher indig-
nantly.
whats the trouble? Has someone
been stealing the ideas from your books p,
II suppose so. But that's a minor mat
ter. They're trying to coax away the
man who writes my advertisements,''-
Washington Star. ="
A naval officer now engaged in ord
nance duty on home station was given
/ to talking in his sleep. One night recent.
~ he awakened his wife by starting up III
bed and exclaiming, i'll accents Of pity
ing distress: "She must have a new
jacket! I must manage, to get. one for
her!' The wife, knowing that her hus-
bands slumbers had never. before been:
disturbed by the requirements of her
wardrobe, became vastly agitated and
gripped him by the arm. ''William. Will