The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-06-20

CunS cmlgSlIfS was so tr4S34leu "a Qout
his debts tha1,he joined a dathst4 worry
'Yes:'' T.
And he found IT, membership made W.
fh ;ta Of the mep he owedtr i'll
-4-:o:- aas
A certain government officer was noted
for being a hard taskmasterS TO- these
who were under him, the servants i'll his
own establishment being nos@exception.
His valet was expected to be- on duty
365 full days in the year.
Being detailed to accompany scien-
tihc expedition ON an extended cruise,
the tthcer unbent a little in communicate
= 'Well. James, he said, chow would
YOU like to go with me around the
world?'
DO we so from east to west, sir?''
asked the valet. i
We lose Il day in~going that way,
don't we?' ...,>&
We do 80
We'll. sir, I'd like it first rate. 1t
world give NE one day. Off y
His master was SO pleas ed with the
aptiE<> Ct the retcrt that hc",gave him
q. week off to prepare for ssthe trip
Youths Companion.
The Usual Way.--7,Mrs. Jones-"The
kiInapers have thrown two more mes
sageS onto the PoTkenh a INNS front
lawn" Mrs. Propah Stock-.''There's no
use trying to keep asfront lawn looking
decent if one has children, '7 rJlps
$eJock. leaving home for theafrst time
fcr a situation in Ediaburgh,s anxiously
requests the guard to look wclis his
box as it is being placedsin thesvan. "All
right" said the official. On reaching.
Hawiek he puts his head gut lot the win
,fSS $s ) m ;Ss J: tespin 4" 70 0" that
Guard 1sharply)- oh, yes
At Melrose JOCK. cries: %asM
''Hey. gaird, ye'rcH shure ye didna pi.
ma trunk cot at the last tom
that Gof It wa san s,ii ten 70"
Jock, however, vas i'll at ease, and at
@1 Fl saS r nf S''af that trunkso mines
lost yell haze to become responsible
The guard: out Of all patience, 6ercely
an elephant, wi yer trunk stuck on ye."
Jock Observation-Disclosures.
| Ihe following was posted up, in a small
| country village: Notice is hereby given
that the squire ION account Of the back
wardness Of the harvesD will not shoot
himself Or any, Of his tenants till the
18th Of September. ''-Tit-Bits.
\ white minister was conducting re-
| ligous services in a colored church in
| North Carolina recently. After exhort-
ing bit, he asked an old colored deacon
to lead in prayer, and this is the appeal
which the brother in black offered for
his brother in white: 90 Lord, glib him
altar off. Glue his hands to de gospel
plough. Tie his tongue to de line of
truth. Nail his ear to de gospel pole
Bow his head way down between his
knees, and his knees way down in some
lonesome, dark and narrer valley, where
prayer is much wanted 10 be made.
Mont him wild de Kerosene lie OBJ sal
| News.
Remarkable Success.-Ascum-'I hear
you've started Your son in business for
himself. How is he doing?'' Richman
-"sPendidly. He's been in business
failed yet. '-Philadelphia Press
| -.O:-
! One morning on rising Mrs. Lipp re-
marked to Tackler Lipp:
Aw,d like to know, John 'Enry, on
who'd job tina as embarked, for j. thi
sleep tina rants and raves an keeps id up
so long. AVN sure. tha'rt keeping sum-
mat dark. Neaw, tell ma who'd is wrong"
Blu: Tackler Lipp spake not word
about his ale-i ing sleep: he only drew his
stockings on and looked both wise and
deep. And then he said:
| AVN sorry, lass; don't look at me
askance: Aw tawk at meet when tina 'rt
asleep. cause then's mi only chance
| Spare Moments.
Lea (despondently)-"B George, my
luck is tough. l just consulted an ocu-
list about my eyes, and he has ordered
me to-. stay in dark room for two
weeks
Perrins (phcto fiend)-"Hurrah! The
very best thing ever happened you, old
fellow. lake advantage of it. I've got
$50 plates I'd like you to develop while
you are in there.-Philadelphia Press.
Gucst-"YOu advertised (whack} that
there were nc (slap) mosquitoes here Do
true"
circular last Janua Life
Bertha--"Tell me, Harry, do you think
George is dissipated? smeled cloves on
his breath last evening, and l am afraid
he drinks
Harry-.'No, Bertha; he isn't dissi-
pated; he's only just an ass; nothing
more. He eats cloves to make people
think h, drinks LIQUOR. He wants to be
regarded as deuce Of a fellow, you
know.'-Boston Transcript
Not Built That Way-Tess-"M
skrawnay is going to the mountains this
year, as usual, believe Jess-"Yes, I
believe she can't bare to go to water
ins-place. ''-Philadelphia Press.
Its. too bad,'' remarked landsman
the other day, as he laid down his paper
with sigh. Sir Thomas Upton seems
to be Rlayiin1g in hard luck: When he
sailed the Shamrock with King Edward
aboard. she lost her mast and almost
killed the King. Now l have just read
that the Shamrock's mainsa1l was bent
yesterday. l hope they can straighten it
| out in time for the races
| -:O:-
It is singular that Maine, noted for her
stringent liquor laws, should now be fur
! nlShing the biggest SchGonerS in tho cOun.