The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-02-15

denly calculated, "Cuss fly p He
stopped in confusion. "I didn' mean
to say that" he said hastily. II
will say to you, gentlemen, that l for
got court was sittin'. I frequently
say that when I am busy sortin' the
mail, and it come natural then. You
needn't laugh-not a laugh. Unless
you respect the court there will be no
justice in this town. Now, go on. ("
| As the justice resumed his seat he
fixed his eyes intently on corner OF
his desk. and with one hand began
cropping for newspaper that he
had folded. Those who were near
could see that fly was roosting on
the corner of the desk. 1t perhaps
was the same fly that had just nipped
the bald head of the justice The in
sect was twisting its legs together
and nodding its head as though ex-
pressing glee over its performance.
At last the court secured his weapon.
Witnesses, lawyers and prisoners were
watching with the greatest interest
and solemnity his honor stalk the fly.
Slowly and cautiously he raised the
paper in air over the unsuspecting in
sect. Swat The fly was squashed.
The court scrutinized the victim tri-
umphantly, and then brushed him off
the desk. GO on with the case, !"
said he.
The witness went on to explain
that in a short time he saw the Horne
boy coming out of the barn leading a
cow The witness stated that his at
tention was attracted by the singular
figure presented by the youth. He
wore black suit that was so small for
for him that the trousers scarcely came
down over the tops of his boots. His
arms stuck way out of the arms of
the coat The brother-in in law is very
small man, and the Horne boy is tall
and lank. The Horne boy was also
wearing his brother-in-law's stove
pipe hat of ancient design.
His honor swatted another fly and
interrupted, What I wanted to know
is, had he been drinkin' 7"
Nov, your honor" demonstrated
one of the lawyars in a plaintive tone,
II must maintain that your honor
should not ask such a question as
that. You have no right"
Whats that" demanded the
court with asperity. do you mean
to set there an tell me that 1 dom t
have the right to ask all the ques-
tions want to in my own court
room?"
well, your honor, it doesn't seem
that the question has anything to do
with this particular case. Now"
"Hold on ! 1t does. l want to
make one job of this thing. If he
had been drinking hard stuff 1 want
to know who sold it to him ard then
fine that man for sellin' liquor. There
is been too much devilin' round in
this place lately"
"But that isn't connected with this
case"
II tell ye it is. You look pretty
sharp or I'll fine you for contempt of
court"
The lawyer made a grimace behind
his hand and then said, blandly:
"Your honor's inquiry is all right
as question of fact. But l have
watched your honor's course careful
ly in the past and have found that
your honor, being so thoroughly
grounded in the law procedure, has
always made us follow carefully the
statutes and so I was only taking
the liberty of insisting on practice
that your honor has laid down."
The satire was lost on the court.
"Ahem !'' he coughed. "Well, per-
haps the question is not material
not material. The case may go on. "
Then, satisfied by the fashion in
which the court had crawfshed, his
honor leaned down behind the desk,
and, under the pretence of sharpening
a lead pencil, sliced off big chew of
tobacco. He tucked that into his
cheek, and then, catching sight of an
other fly, he smashed him with the
folded paper. A second fly came
down to discover what the explosion
meant and the court annihilated him
also.
1t was proved in evidence that the
Horne boy had taken the COW and
sold it in an adjoining town, that he
had spent the money in riotous living
and in seeing the circus. In defence
the Horne boy declared that he had
done the thing merely for a joke.
At the word "joke" the court rose
up with such fury on his countenance
that the crowd was astonished.
"You poor, cheap, miserable, be-
nighted son O. satan !" he roared.
There's altogether too much jokin'
goin' on round this place. I'll break
up this jokin' or I'll-I'll, wal,
will, anyway"
Then the listeners remembered that
only the week before some joker had
put stuffed skunk in the postmas.
ter's hour-storeroom at the rear of his
market. The court had nearly dis
located his arm in shooting at the in
truder.
''I would like to make the argu-
ment now," interrupted the lawyer
for the defence.
There hain't no room for argu-
ment," roared the court, and he
brought down his fist and mashed an.
other fly without knowing it. "You
could talk all day and you cou1dn't
change my opinion. know all about
this case. I've had the opinion all
writ for two days"
And then his honor drew folded
paper from his inside pocket and read
the decision. 1t was that the Horne
boy was guilty. and in thunderous
, tones the court called upon him tc
stand up.