The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-07-25
SPINNING WHEEL.
THE BELLIES.
Oh! the bellies!

summer DcllcS; -
What plenitude of heartaches their g!ddi
ness compels;
How they giggle, giggle, giggle,
How their victims squirm and wriggle
In an ecstasy of fright.
How. they hurt
When they flirt,
Whe fbn with EhGnish gee they goaht tnev
have him by the throat.
Oh. the bellies!
BraZen bellies:
How they njure, scheme and plan
10 rntrap the summer man,
Inc ribbon counter gentlemen VINO mas
querade as swells.
Oh. the bellies!
Greedy bellies:
How they wiring. wring wiring
SodaWatcr, everything,
From the pockets Of those "CaSh!' exclalin-
ing sWells.
Oh. the bellies!
Foxy bellies;
What wealth Of hints they fling
10 compel the pleasant ring,
Diamond ring,
All; the heart engaging ring , ,on.
or the golden wedding bells, BELLS bells:
bells, bells,
Oh! the bellies.
The Catholic Standard and Times
At recent gathering of prominent
citizens in New York city, the object of
which was to raise funds for the benefit
of hospital, number of speeches We're
made commencing the worthy charity
and sounding the praise Of the manage
ment Of the institution. But none Of the
speakers once during the little talks al
luded to the main object Of the meeting
until it came to Representative Goldfogle
to address the gathering. He was greet
ed with applause when he stepped for
ward on the platform.
After stating that he had listened with
pleasure to the high words of praise and
commentator bestowed by the speakers
on the management of the hospital, he
said he had failed to note that any one
had felt it necessary to call attention or
the audience to the purpose that had
brought them together. This oversight
on the part Of the gentlemen who had
when Lincoln was President of the
United States,' he said, 'he took a walk
down Pennsylvania avenue one cold win
ter evening. During the stroll he met Il
poor, forlorn woman, thinly clad, SILVER
ing with cold. When she saw the Pres
dent she mistook him for minister, and
falling upon her knees, with hands up
she had three small children at home
starving to death. She said: oh, Mr..
Minister, pray to the Lord to help me-
''When she had finished President Lin
coin said: My good woman, it's not a
minister that you need. You need Il gro
cer,' and the President took a card out
of his pocket and gave her an order for
$50 worth o. groceries,
The point was at once seen by the au-
dience, who applauded loudly, and the
result was liberal subscription to the
benefit fund for the hospital.
Mr.. Goldfogle has happy faculty of
always illustrating a point with a tell
ing story, and therefore he is much in
demand at conventions, political and
business gatherings.-New York Daily
News.
"Do you pull out teeth gratis, mis-
ter?" said a Notwithstanding tramp to
a dentist.
NO" replied the dentist politely; ''but
have bulldog that inserts them
gratis"
the loafer, as lie shambled out.-New
York Daily News.
One day when Senator-elect McCreary
of Kentucky was out looking after his
political fences he stopped before house
where there was a we'll in the yard and
asked for a drink.
"Sorry, mister" responded the man of
the house, ''but there amt drop Oh this
here place, and l am getting purity dry
myself"
''Isn't there any water in the we'll 2"
exclaimed McCreary.
''Of course there u.s." blurted out the
man; II didn't know you wanted water.
thought you wanted drink. New
York Times.
Careless Girl-''Such carelessness is
little short OF criminal" Numbered DR..
Price-Price angrily. "Oh. DOCTOR" sobbed
Mrs. Sassiety-Lieders nurse girl, do
you blame ME for the baby's illness ?"
''Most assuredly. You should know bet
it's mother even for moment."-Phila-
delphia Press.
''Where are you going this summer?"
"Tm going to a stretch Of barren sand,
where l can be surrounded by the lux
uries of the seashore.'
"By yourself?"
mo. Whole family. Wife and chill
dren, servants, nurses, etc.
''Cottage?"
Eyes. Has eight rooms for sixteen
people. Each room will hold comfort
ably about one-half OF human being"
cottage alone?'
"Oh, no. We shall be next to a lot of
others. Each with an assortment Of
children"
Mice people,
'Well, they're people wouldn't think
Of associating with on ordinary occa-
sions, but OF course-'
"Oh. certainly. Where do you get
your vegetables?''
"From the city,
"And your water?'
'''From the nearest WELL"
'Typhoid?"
Probably"
"Flies?"
"Heaps."
'"What are you going for?"
1.-TWO reasons. Because l can't afford
to and my wife wants to."-Eife.
II am Mr.. Phake, SIR" said the OBJ
trusive stranger, maker of Phakes
leigh. Your medicine, sir, has bene-
flied me greatly." ''Glad to hear it, -
Yes; Il rich uncle of mine took it, and
l was his sole heir -Tit-Bits.
Farmer Henk-I understand that the
young city Teller that has been boardin'
at Eli Summertime's died last night in