davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

MS mind that he would famish in in
dOmltable idleness or go back baffied
but indicated to his old home in
Cameo. Ia, rather than sink to the low
level of justice shop attorney.
For these and other reasons which
are doubtless familiar to many asDir-
ing young counseIors who are not ex-
actly at law. Mr. Pidge's practice con-
sisted in wearing a shiny Prince Albert
coat. lOw-qUarter shoes. d black SLOUGH
hat and somber string tie. Sometimes
he would borrow sonrv books from
Judge kelsO's Office and walk arCdnd
the block carrying them under his arm.
At others he would dash into COsrt as
If in great haste, sit fOr a few moments
well forward, running his long fingers
through his Henry Clay 'mane. and
then quickly edge his way out. nod
ding right and left to imaginary ac-
quaintances- Then back TO his little
6X1O Office, where a dingv and
undulOUs mirror invited him To thrust
bis hand into the bosom of his coat. and
stand frOwning at his own image as
he waved nis lenE left arm I'm iun7S-
stoned but imaginary pleadines for the
NE or property Of that favored client
who was yet to be.
Pidge was six months behind with his
rent before the brutal landlord de-
scanded like wolf on the fold. He
Guivered with what he called right
eOus indignation when he found that
ne was hauled into a justice shop and
must perfOTce descend thither like the
fallen son Of morning. In his extremity
he went to Judge KelsO, but that
learned friend was too busy to defend
him
Try the case yourself suggested
the judge, it'll be good practice for
you, Pidge."
With the forlorn fac of injured in
nOcence Pidge explained that ne would
never sUlly his spOtless name by ad-
jUring that unspeakabIe travestv upon
the majesty Of the bench-the justice
Of the peace" That's the way Pidge
put it. Oh. he was the very refine
ment IF high ideals.
Judge KelsO looked at him a minute,
and then:
You want to win. don't you?"
Piege allowed that it would ruin him
70 be hurled out of his chamber like
disgTaced malefactor.
Then I'll tell you what you do. Go
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

consisted %. Equal Part1 of Vertigo and
Gua-s-W Work.
500 th's meant Fine BUSINESS for the
BOY who. lu ID Careless Moment had
promised Go Love. Honor a-id Obey She
slTduE new Series of Curves on him
every week on Two Sometimes he sus-
u.rtei that she had gone AFT to the
Nhecl-H0use. but ne didn't like to say
fu ON account of the Children. So he
continued 90 play Angel to her COntin-
uanca Performance.
The Wife. whose Name was Azalea,
used 90 go out and dig up all kinds of
6eHiHses and take them mp to the House
and Feed them. She considered it
great Honor 90 have some melancholy
Person with an unusual kind of Hair
come u3 20 their Number and eat about
s. worth %. Food.
She and 'he Genius would sit at oppo-
size ENDS Of the Table and Ding-Dung a
.1e of inspired Conversation chat never
''..H,t hl.ahdnd ot sl.- lie Colldn
st.g EecG Score
AzsI8 never could find time for a
-'rJght-a way Business Man who wore
sack Suit and an ordinary Collar and
taxed about what had been I'm tho Morn
ing Paper. No in6eod. for she was ON the
lookout for Rare Birds.
She went 90 a Paderewski Concert once
ami when the Artist with The crinklv
L1n leaned over the Gee Side Of tie Key
Board and began To tear off the Quarter
Notes with his Eyes clostd it was then
That AzaIeJ tried to Climb over the Foot
Lights and steal a Kiss.
Az4.ea always had 4 number Of Must
Nokos uu her staff. When she had a
Srec the Plain Husband would go away
back and sit down behind Rubber
Plant or gu Orange Tree. where no one
could sec him. He knew that the Music
Ni, Good, but it did not sound right to
hm
A7a'ca did not nut I'm all OF her time
r''h the Musickcrs. One day she came
Zone and said that she had discovered
.' greatest Literary Genius ever born
VI 'aptlyty-oue who would sooner or
.''r make Hall Caine look like 8 cents
worth of ~aioratuS.
How do know he is Genius" asked
W. Plain Husband who was becoming
-.-lf of lar Finds.
bo t.iJ me So" she replied. And he
'Hs consented to Dine here
I1f' viii no Sweet Billiards. said
Pho Plain husband. when ] come home
H Night 8II tJckercd. there is nothing
Cheers me more than to listen to an in
,'.n. Author with a rs Collar and 14lz
Bu .ai~ ore lis "a Remarkable Char
'r said Azalea. He is so Erratic
...' every one rs talking about him He
''r" th. same Eat for nine years
III. lines hc sits for a Hour a.
Ua Without speaking To anyone He
mad. H great Rep for himself b,-
..Nn- down People who are trying TO
s7. t' him. His fa~oritc Speciality
'5iu- cracks about those who En-
t" H'u. Z have no doubt that he
- ~ away and say the most Sarcastic
.r"Ht H-. but then YOU must eN-
That .rrm a Genius
. ..- that no won't saw any worse
,s about us than 7 say about him.
'.r '.aIr husband What time
Ha Genius arrjvc?"
... "...r can tell" was the Reply.
81 IS SD Great that mo scorU>, to keen
o. wnutS. but Or ne comes at ALL
-. .. SOM. where between . and Q.
'.' s' .ul stock mp the Side-Board.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

how wishful he is that the bank don't
get the double cross durin the new deal,
end that all the coin says in the little
drawer. They adds thal they wishes TO
quit boostin forthwith.
The play is 10 save ~ embarrassment,
John. but / fails TO see how Ez IS any
less embarrassed than 'ucson friend OF
mine is when a sport Gals the turn fer
his bank roll. All the boys intimates rs
strong as they can fling the language
that if BIZ wants 10 fifc their markers
they're dead willin IT. keep right on
boOstin' for another Two years. Honest,
John. their bluffs reWer'n fresh meat
It's like a man bettin his case ten on
ace. deuce, trey, four g ter he's tipped
it off to the board that lis hole cards
six
Johnny. if Ez called them ferers
they shiver like a We dog on a ice
pond. Ez knows It's gang of four
flushers he's up against and il won't
surprise me none il no Tits a few Of
EN-. But he's goin' to Wit until he gets
Unwrapped from rom SaitOn. There's a
than any copper esvc' seen. Hes q
wart on the 0nct fair countenance OF
Ez' political anatomy. wart that no
hot stuff can SINCE Off EZ is so dern
worried over Hilton that he falls out
of his sleigh the other day an, things Is
gettin' down to cases when icz tumbles
out of any kind of vehicle
I'm down here in the pool room a few
afternoons ago bettin on the Frisco
races when FL pokes his head in an calls
me. Why, John, I'm shore astonished at
your ignorance. Bettin' on the races
amt gamblin'. It's mere gentlemanly
speculation. It's principally speculatin
on what the pool room does with all the
coin YOU feeds it. Anyway. Ez lets out
roar for me an out ] goes. though the
caller has just sung out. They're off
I'VE goes around TO Els office. an
walks back to the rear where the carpet
is. so Jack Lynch can't overhear Us. Ez
shore has got a fine stall there. Even
Nesta G. amt fixed up no better. We
gets down TO business right away, Ez
dealin.
Sport he says. 'dern my skin if
amt up agin it. he says. Tom Hiltons
resigna ton would look as good to me-
he saws. as three bullets in fat jack
before the draw or yellow stack in a
rack of whites.
" I'd got him, Sport he says. If that
dern cuss Of COttrell an the kicker he's
holdin up, Eardley. was onto the rules
of the game. But does you know. Sport
he says, that them lads actooaly wants
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
. UNITED STATES us"
House Committee on Revision of Law
So Decides.

Chicago inter ocean,
The house committee On the revision
of the laws. in the course of some tinker
ing with the statutes today. ran up
against the time-worn proposition
whether singular or plural verb goes
with the United States. There was much
discussion among the members of the
committee
The worshipers of the constitution
quoting from that instrument had much
the better of the argument when il was
suggested that the committee consult any
authority on the subject that could be
found. Accordingly the librarian of con-
SresS. the supreme court officials and
others were asked to throw light on the
matter.
The result showed that. while the con
stitutiOn and nearly all the laws. docu-
ments and messages in the early DAYS
OF the republic used the plural verb the
tendency had been steadily toward the
singular form while the last fifteen or
twenty years the latter had obtained al
most exclusively. The question was
practically settled however, as far as
the committee was CONCERNED by the
discovery of pamphlet written by for
rner Secretary Of State John W. Foster
with the title. Are or Is?" In this
pamphlet Mr.. Foster traces the course of
changing use of the words and quotes
from Hamilton. Webster Benton. Mot
itA. - , ADAMS. JEFFERSON. Marcy. Sew
ard Fish. Evarts. Blaine, Frelinghuysen
Bayard. Gresham and Olney who used ii
in the singular.
Among the earlier presidents only
Jackson used the singular form but in
later wears LineOln-and since the civil
war northumberland. Cleveland. Har-
rlson and Mckinley had used il exclu-
sively- Mr.. Foster also quotes from de-
cisiOns Of the supreme court. those of
recent years invariably using the singular
verb in connection with the United
States
in no class Of documents is greater at
tention paid 70 the language employed
than in drafting treaties, and up 10 1890
the plural form was used. Since then
however, the singular had been adopted.
and Mr.. Foster points to the fur-seal
treaty of 1892 the arbitration Of 1897. and
the Hay-Pauncefote canal treaty as con-
spicuous examples of the usage
After reading the arguments and au-
thOrities OF Mr. Foster the committee de-
cided that, legally, at least the United
States 'is."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

witnesses were there. The judge opened
the case. The jury cheWed and Spab
and paid no attention. Tt was all DONE
so quickly that poor Pidge was almost
expecting to hear his death sentence,
when-glory Of glOries-Dan Tong MS
attorney. came careening into the dirty
room. He was so drunk that Pidge's
heart failed him. but he edged over
10 The chair into which Tong collapsed
and whispered;
For Gods sake. Mr.. Tong. do some
thing. The evidence is all i'm Its your
turn
Turn for WHAT" sputterej the booty
man OF law
For argument, You're going to make
an argument. aren't you? You've got
TO make an argu
Tong stumbled TO his feet. pulled out
his watch. stared stupidity al II, smote
the railing with a mighty blow and
r0ared:
arg ment nothiuE Your honor and
gemmen o. tn jurc. they amt no room
Fl argmet."
He put his watch up to his moist
eve. and. turning 10 the jury, said in the
most loving tones
Seer feUers. hic. II give YOU jes' f.
minis L fetch in yer Verhicdic- See
Then ne Sprd We'd Dack iuty MS scar.
In five minutes the jury was back with
a verdict for Pidge. bur when that
triumphant Htigant looked for his at
tOrney he was missing.
The next day Pidge got a bin Ike
this
Harold Smithso1 Pidga
To DANIEL TONG, DR..
To professional services in Haskins
Us Pidge- ..--..- .----.-.-. ---.-... 50
To expenses account jury ---......-.. ID
Total -------- -...-. ..-- -....... $40
Please remit.
John H. Raftery in Chicago Record
Herald.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

yourself some booze? No? Have a cigar.
then"
Pidge, with his coat collar turned IN
III an effort to disguise himself. was In
court an hour before his landlords at
Iorney appeared TO prosecute him.
Iong hadn't arrived when the case
came up, and the jurymen, sitting in a
row, were hObnObbing together. like so
many tObaccO-cheWing cronies.
Wonder where's Dan T0ng?' asked
one; seen him today. BiH2''
On, Danu show up" answered the
other juryman. Seen him an hour ago
over to MoTan's. He had load fur Yer
life then"
The jury enjoyed this exchange. while
Pidge, scared into pauor. rushed oUt to
md his lawyer In five minutes he
was back, haggard, excited, looking
IKE d condemned feIOn. His enemy.
the landlord, and one or two other
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
IARoLD sMTHsON PIDGE was

I IAROLD SMITHSON PIDGE was a
young lawyer. In his office in the
Blackstone building there hung a
framed and glazed document inscribed.
sealed and festooned with ribbons.
proving that he had been admitted to
the bar and was therefore theoretically
if not effectively in actual practice. His
admission thus far had operated much
like a standing room-onIy ticket IN q
popular show He had never gotten
anywhere near the front row and tba
avenues TO glory were blocked with
the camp chairs of an overcrow6ad
house.
Lawyer Pidge, being young. swore To
himself many time and oft that the
ethics Of his profession were OF moro
Importance than the earnings. There
fore ne resolved never to stoon 10 the
vulgar cheap or tricky articles of 50
many struggling barristers. The ms
tee court spelled disgrace TO his lofty
estimate Of his calling. and he made mn.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

notified Azalea She scanned the List
and then threw a couple of Thr0es.
Nobody ever heard of these Folks, ~
she said
THAT is why it will be such a blamed
Relief TO have them around said the
Plain Husband 81 long for the sight
Of those that Comb it i'm the Ordinary
WAY and talk about something besides
Themselves. have got good and tired
OF looking at Genius through Smoked
Glasses. Before ] die ] should like 10
attend Just one Dinner Party at which
the Host would cut a little Ice. And to-
morrow this Sign goes mp at the Front
Portal: No TTamps. Beggars, Peddlers
o. Geniuses need apply
MORAL: Il gives one a Crick in the
Neck 10 look up all the Time.
GEORGE ABE.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

tries TO cop the coin. hti- the dealer won
stand for il. The feiler says he coppers
the lack an plays the aeuce clear i'm his
mind the open board alay bein' merely
to disguise his systeu.. There's talk
about puucturin his anatomy with 45s,
but the final conclusion is that he's got
bats. an that's what gTcs him.
johnny looked the old Sport over care
fully. What's throved your trolley.
Sport ." he inquired, nNiously. Has
Jimmy been offcrin % set ON up. there
10y dislocatin your power
The Old Sport snortc "Of all the ig-
nOrant gents whose tr3N cuts, you Shore
are the isnorantcst. aid he. Its
little hyperdOx I'm M kin preliminary
to cettin' down TO the thread of my dis
course The mind player m tellin you
about would have lots of company right
here in Salt Lake taesa days my son.
I alloods to the resignation plays the boys
has. been maxim at FL. Each an every
cussed one Of EN-. saFia' an eXceDtin
Tommy Hilton passed 9p a little notice
to Ez in the lookout chair tellin him
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
Another Burns Relic.


There has come to light in one Of the
auction rooms an interesting relic OF
Robert Burns it is an ordinary busi-
nesslike tumbler. incI0sed in an old oak
case lined with velvet and secured By a
Fyrahu1fu KEY. The lumber has engraved
on II The following inscription This
glass. once the property Of Robert Burns
was presented by the poets widow 10
lanes Robinson. ESD. and given by his
widow TO her sOn-iu-law- Major James
CIancairn Burns. 1870" The James Rob
i0sou 10 whom Jean Armour gave the
relic was q Sunderland gentleman no
became. by marriage. connected VITA the
Burns family The box is made from one
of the piles Of old London bridge, VIA
some lighter pieces Of oak, relics Of the
Royal George
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
IL. II Robert Howard r.

.
SciL)
H~rr there was "a Patient Man who
AZ bad ono kind of a Wife some
~ rme hJrt her all the time but
she couldn't tell just what it was.
Oh. VAS afflicted with SoUl-Hunge-. She
-..7 Sow Woman In fact she was one
..,-a Newest Women that ever camo ont
"a Book Store and she was Fresh evcrv
rrar tI. Hrast Fad struck Town eha
.--7trfeG herself % Deception COMMITTEE
& Hrrr.a. ont as far as the Railroad
--lys ta welcome 10. she loved To r,c-s
---f with little Clubs that went ON
y.rg Hv-H. IsCs and then gropod afto~
... UHlrra-- uf something. III She cotlid
Ia In SIT. . dreamy Bunch and sif An
front Room with all the Curtains
lrsF down and Che Candles shaded
r- Iat. Who never had ruined nor
--rs read uzzle Paper that got pasf
...-- ono uH. heard II. then the Wife az
-s Plain Sian thought she was having
... Tine OF Hr Life
s,- loved .l dirt with the I-nyuowab1e
ed occasionally take Fall out of the
occult
...f Tuia-- no- She preferred 10 sail
.r-ugr thr Etbcre Regions of the
u-~fo5 Dreams. hanging by one Toe
D. md having tu Of Blood TO the Head.
AS suggested 40 the Beginning OF the
r.ba tfe Poor Woman did not know
-rs- hurt her, out she proceeded on the
-.n-r taai the Higher Intellectual Life
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
Old Sports
Solution P pr dhs Police
BY JOEL L. PRIEST

10 know what my hole card is before they
consents TO mingle further in the play ?
They has the Unspeakable gall 10 innuire
whether it's the deuce of Sheets or the
ace of Pratts I've got face down on the
board. IF it's the deuce they claim
they've got me skinned. If its the acc.
Sport he says, they allow the money s
mine
Their attitood is shorely some pre-
sumptious, FL. I says, an contrary TO
the most accepted rules of etiquette.
but when the Missouri sickness gets "a
fond embrace on a man there uothin'
can Jar it that I knows Of What's the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
Two Famous Old Pioneer Shelters of Utah.

THE great smelling plants of the
Salt Lake valley grew from small
beginnings. From the first they
have Kept pace. or nearly so, with the
mining development. Twenty-odd years
ago. when the accompanying pictures
were taken. the plants which are
shown Were. regarded as up-to-date in
every respect.
The upper picture is Of the old Ger
mania Smelling & Refining company's
plant at Murray. The lower picture
shows the Wasatch smeIter-noy
scarcely q memory. for it disappeared
ABOUT twenty years ago-at the left.
and the American smelter. also forget
ten. at the right. In front Of the Amer
lean smelter is State street. Between
the two Is the present site Of the bust
ness section Of Murray. now q thriving
town AT the end Of the trestIe across
the Little Cottonwood is shown the
house built by Bishop Andrew CahOOn.
one of the first erected on the creek.
The original pictures are in the pos
session Of Joseph c. CahoOn Of Muir
ray.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
Modern Fables.
By George Ade.
The Jlodcrn Fable of the Coco Thing Who Ran The
Boarding House for LurDinaries
By George Ade.

Slice &c looked as if it had been put through
a Fluting Machine
ms went on for Years. lie used 10 tell
on the Outside when he was in his Guns
Lhat ne was conducting a frst-class
Boarding tiOuse for Freaks Azalea mt
IL differently. She said that she had en-
detained more Whales than anv other
Woman along the Street.
But the Dorsal Nertebrae Of the long
suffering Camel may be weighted Ia me
Point Of Fracture, and there came a Dav
when the 'lain Husband riz up. He in
Vtted few Friends 10 Dinner and then
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
Antidote For Tragedy.

winks-Come along. old boy, I've got
two complimentary tickets for a dra-
matte performance
Jinks-Tragedy or comedy?
Tragedy"
81 don't like tragedies. They appeal so
strongly to ones symDathies that I al
ways feel blue for a week"
This one won't. You'll come home as
jolly as If you'd been to circus It's by
an amateur company"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

Plain Husband
Pa. -. - arrived at $50 and said all
SIM. Tor Dinner was four Bowls OF
n. ana 400 Orange. AzaIea thought
b. - f-nugly Eccentric It would
hrr-..- l' ten wha; the Plain Husband
ra1..9a had way Of uncoveriur LADY
r r--' who were above the Fripperies
H..r.-- Every week or so the Plain
rf .. would arrive at the H02se to-
-rzf.s .IiHE upset I'm Honor OF some
I.1.-t. Empress i'm the World OF
5.ees al. HAo siared B.. him through Steel
Ps-r,pg,g.ted Places. ANY 1ima that the
5.'on,- s-sland bumped against a PrOpO-
feka, ,Als kind he folded up like 4
-.re .tlAerd. When it came time 10
would be so Nervous that every
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
NWEn

MOVED a fencr
onet, said the Old
sport. as johnny
Carrfully deposited
q cherry i'm the
cocktail. that tries
TO gamble mighty
culyls. Hes play
i'm the Jack straight
Up an Copperin' the
deuce. IL come
jafr deuce an he
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02
HOW IT Is DONE.
Apparatus for Annihilat
ing Distance.
(HarDer's Weekly)


(HarDer's Weekly)
There is no longer room to doubt the
value of the results achieved by this
modest young Bolognese. His name viii
go down to posteritv along with MOrse's,
Bells and EdisOn's. 1t is already pOssi-
bic for the nOn-eXpert to understand these
results and the methods by which they
are achieved. Morse transmitted news
through land wires by the electric cur
rent; Cyrus W. Field received in 1893 a
message thus transmitted under the At
lantic ocean. Bell and Edison transmit
ted the exact tones of the human voice
in similar way. The cost and mainten-
ance of the wires or cables connecting
the transmitting and receiving stations
are important factors in all those sys-
TENS.
Marconi dispenses with these factors
absolutely M8rcOni eQuips q transmit
ting station and receiving Station with
ordinary electrical apparatus and induces
The ether to do the rest. The distances
ever which he can transmit and receive
messages are "A > yet limited by the height
over the earth surface of his vertical
wires. from one Of which the ether waves
start and upon the other of which they
impnge. 4 tweutY-fOot transmitter gives
One-mile radius. a fOrty-fOOt, four
miles: and an eighty-foot. sixteen miles.
Eat the ether is everywhere. always. and
aarcOni Is young and hopeful. He trans
fuitted on Dec Il impulses from the
Lizard in Cornwall. to St. Johns. New
fOundland straight through 1S0O miles of
space over the unObstruCted sweep of
tie Atlantic ocean. He received these inn
pulses through a telephone attached TO
his receiving wire. and clearly distin-
ruished the three dots or taps which in
dicate the letter $" in the Morse alpha
bet.
But the telephone is no essential part OF
the MarCOni apparatus. This. briefly.
consists, AT the transmitting station. of
= stranded copper cable. one end of which
is elevated vertically on a mast, or by a
kite. above the reach of surface disturb
anceS To the other end of this cable is
connected one of a pair of spheres or
spark balls, both Of which are connected
with tre terminals of an induction coil.
An ordinary Geographic key connects the
coil with battery. Pressure upon this
KEY discharges sparks across the gap be-
tween the balls. This discharge is an
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-02-02

++<+++A%+%+44++4+&4