Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1902-10-03
THE PRESIDENTIAL SHIN BONE.

H.
The President suddenly called halt :,
% his western tour and came oach w
ome. A bruise on bis leg, SAID 10 \,
ave been received when trolley car
,assed over. or about him few weeks q
.go. suddenly grew obstreperous ana
nerformed a few stunts on the Sue.
This bruise had been kept prolouno
secret up to that day. The President
had not even limped, in fact there was +
a preceptible Improvement In n,s ap-
nearance after the car and he had been ,
in collision, True the car has been IN
the shop ever since, and the poor mo
torman and conductor have been uh-
able to he out, but the president couid
walk, ride, run, jump, in fact DO any
and everything except make a grea'
protection speech, better since IAan
before. It was therefore a great sur
prise to the nation and great shock
to it's dignity to hear that bit OF q
trolley had caused the Nations heao w
turn about and omit the drama TO pe
enacted in the west. The bright antlc
ipations of the west have also unoer-
| gone a strain, if not a fracture. Ine
west hoped and feared. They anxlousiy
awaited the coming as the true
believer awaits the second coming OF
the Messiah, they had their robes rea-
jdv. they had annointed themselves
with oil, they had gone through al
mr. oper devotions, and stood in anxious
anticipation of the supreme moment
How they must have been cast down
| when their hopes at one fell blow were
' blasted by cantankerous oruise On
q the presidential shin.
The shin bone is mal-fOrmat1on at
ih.s+ its owner has often had cause to
o complain generally of it. Human In
penuity nor science has devised the
object of its poor adaptation TO its
a uses and this particular shin bone
r incident will more and more fomen'
I the shin bone critics.
l. But there are whispers regarding
THAT shin bono which are calculated Il
i, mako believe that the shin bono is no
40 had an article of human make vi
AZ some would think, and that a troile'
- car ia a perfect treasure. II the pro
J. fessed bruise had been on the hand, o.
al the face, or the head, the public migh
have seen and sympathized, hut hide
" beneath various garments. the length
'o the breadth, the height, the depth, Q
III the wound was a mystery, and no
al seeing the President on crutches, l
fact seeing him leap as the lbex frol
IT. crag to crag. when he would leave Ri
ho car, or mount his carr iage, or aut'
IN or bound to the platform as he We
tv wont to do when about to pour fort
nt those make believe illumination
~ az ainst trusts, the public was not
~ all prepared for this sudden going Q
be the map as it were.
.rtl Had the public read more careful
Ter some words uttered recently by sc
civ and prophet[wh when asked, wv
it'll is the President doing out west ~ sa
re-. seeking trouble.n When asked aga
On "Why did you not advise him again
In going 2' replied, 1--WE were not co
an suited" the public would have mo
fully comprehended how ones shin G
ID. get awfully sore, awfully quick.
an Since Mr.. Hanna SPOKE those wo1
al. lit ia rumored that the President had
vn. great longing for home. He began
oftcurse the day when he bethought h
we'd to take that western trip. and he CT
bet about for some decent, respectable
I'M. rather plausible way of getting out
ep- It. The trolley car incident came
a his rescue, his shin bone began
ter slough off, and threaten to drop out
ost his leg. Surgeons were hastily 81
ust moned with splints and iron bands
of silver wires, and screws and vises,
ON. other mechanical or surgical tml
'ur. ments to keep the truant bone in pla
this and they are now at work on it. !
full. trolley car may be variously and
ON miscuously damned as oeVlco
an destruction, and as the cause of
was snuffing out of many human lives,
hey here is one instance in which the
y 1t. of one man has been saved by it
ibIy political life. Now let us hope t
ter. the trolley conductor, and the mot
eep. man may be dealt with gently. 1t
rson case where executive ciemeneS u
D be be inv oked and we invoke it, and
us not be too harsh in future in
per. use of terms about the trolley
was Charity suffereth long ana Is KIM.
AVE