The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-10-17

IL yOu SNc luuL way, Slllu IAeF.
Goodman reprovingly, 'you won't go to
heaven"
"Oh, I've got better chance than
most people," replied the hard case. "pn
bet the general scarcity of skilled labor
will pull me through"
"And are you skilled laborer?"
eyes. I'm an expert harp-tuner."-
Philadelphia Press.
Weary Willie--1 jes' put in q good
a?yS ySs4 IN t9 1ete %n"t We FF'sa
in six pies, pan Nv doughnuts an four
jars NV preserves. OATS a good days
work for any woman. Nudge.
The English papers tell Of young
Partisan in London, visiting the "Cham-
Der of Horrors at Tussauds. Being
alone he was seized with an impulse to
put his neck in the lunette wherein had
rested that of Marie Antoinette. He lay
down, touched a spring, and closed the
collar. But how was he to release him
self? If he touched the wrong spring
the fatal axe might descend. Before
tendant, came on the scene. The guide
was bit of linguist, and saw an op-
portunity, with himself as master of the
situation. He at once began practical
lecture on the guillotine, interrupting his
remarks with little asides in French to
the indignant victim, asking him to
scream louder or writhe more agonizing-
". "How we'll he acts!' exclaimed the
grati6ed onlookers. Finally the Partisan
was released, and, answering the ap-
plause with maledictions, fed.
> II see that Johns speakin' on the fnan-
cial question"
ooh, yes"
"What's the old man doin'?'
''Furnishin' the finances" - Atlanta
Constitution.
A Good Customer: Mrs. Wantoneau-
81 called upon Mrs. DeVorse the other
day. She says she knows you quite
we'll" Rev. Mr.. Splicer-"'Oh! yes, l
meet her pretty frequently" Il didn't
don't: I've only met her professionally.
She always gets me to marry her.'-Phil-
adelpha Press.
NOW, Harold, when your father
ished for this
mot Tor this, mamma. He's four
days behind on ME ow."-Brooklyn
Life.
-:O:|
Henry Guy Carleton shutters, and the
more anxious he is to talk the worse his
teeth and tongue become involved. But
he refuses to seriously consider the sug-
gestion Of a friend who told him that
possibly an all-wise Providence had put
an impeachment in his speech as a sugges-
ton that he should not talk so much.
Meeting a friend on Broadway recent
~ Mr.. Carleton grabbed him by the but
ton and suggested that they "have
s-s-something. The friend pleaded to be
excused, saying that he was in hurry.
"Oh, c-c-come on suffered Mr.. Garlic
ton, I'LL W-w-want to t-t-talk to
y-y-y-you a m-m-m-minute, and it
w-w-wwon't t-t-t-take m-m-m-more than
ha-a-a-alf an hour."-New York Times.
Mrs. Parker-Your husband has been
very i'll, hasn't he?
Mrs. Lane-I never saw him so i'll.
Why, for two weeks he never spoke a
cross word to'me.-Brooklyn Life.
The Commercial Test: 'You think that
than Milton?' he repeated in a dazed
tone. Yes" answered Miss Cayenne
sweetly. "You manage to get a great
deal more money from the magazines for
your poetry Ludu MllIUu ever got 1Or
his.'-Washington Star.
He-What more can you ask, dear?
Haven't l admitted l was wrong and
humbly apologized? Well, what of it?
have no respect for man who is that
weak."-Life.
Legal Points-'So he got out an i'll
junction against your company" we say
pityingly; why didn't you forestall him
by getting an injunction to prevent the
you see he was slick enough to get out
an injunction against his injunction!'-
Baltimore Herald.
'Why is it?' remarked the Observer of
Events and Things, that they always
throw old shoes at fighting cats-and at
young married couples ?''--Yonkers States
man.
sister to you. and I'll be glad to hear
anything you have to say to me-" He
''Six months ago you told me I'd thank
you some day for refusing me. Let me
do SC at once. You can't hold a cara1e
to the girl I'm engaged to now.'-New
York News.
sue ACTUALLY seems 10 C0lnk tl1t
everybody is admiring her,
"Well, then she enjoys it just as much
as if they were" -Philadelphia Bulletin.
''Is this your boy?" asked the stranger
as yOungster came from among a herd
of children and stood beside the man
| spoken to. EYES," replied the proud
father, hes chip off the old block -
Tell me-" went on the stranger, 'are all
those other chips yours? ''-Boston Post
''Is Miss Tinker a good pianist?'
''She is simply fine. You ought to hear
some Of her classical pieces. You would
never know they were music" Indian
Captain-I fear there is no hope for
us We may sink at any moment.
Seasick Passenger-O Lord! and am
afraid it's fully two miles to the bottom.
Life.
The Vicar-Now, boys, what animal
supplies you with boots and gives you
meat to eat?
First Boy 0romptly)- Father.-Moon-
shine.