davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
AT THE CHINESE RESTAURANT.

Stealing up the stairway from the
noisy street,
Pushing through the Open Door where
many nations meet,
| have left America, have crossed the
China sea,
And this pleasant oriental vision
comes to me:
Norah's nibbling gamgott,
Bertha's drinking tea;
Bruce is stirring mushrooms in excel
sior fricassee;
Robert cries and Wilfrid,
Chop Sooy's very fit
Wonder if it's liel<ly my Intervals will
permit?
Though my consciene tells me Joss is
master here,
Something in the pagan smacks CT
subtle cheer;
l abhor the heathen-every Christian
should
Still I'd like little god made of sandal
wood.
Grace is tasting Yung Ho.
Annie tries Ba.NOo;
Now what next do you suppose those
careless girls will do?
Eggs subgum for Robert.
Wilfrid takes sarlee;
Seems to sound alluring ilke-but none
of that for me.
Tables of mosaic are certainly not
bad;
Funny little figures whirl around like
mad;
Gorgeous screens and feathers; SOU
Venirs galore
Queer l never contemplated coming
here before.
Norah's drinking LOngso,
Bertha sips Sumee;
Really how they do it is a pleasan,
sight to see;
Noodle duck is coming;
What is this? Ii Chez?
All for Robert, WilfrId, Bruce, and
hang it. yes for me.
Glad that | have joined them; find
them very nice;
Pleased to toast the dowager; like this
wine of rice;
Atmosphere is genial; prices rather
cheap;
Sure that beef is bovine; certain NUT
toms sheep.
Annie calls for Lok on,
Grace prefers LOngdin.
Bruce and Robert speculate as to
Seuisin;
Wilfrid aires his Chinese,
Orders Noodles WOr;
Think of all we've put away and try TO
guess what for.
Fate has so decreed it when l would be
gay,
Conscientious actor folk must run
away and play;
So sit and smoke and dream, coming
still to me
Visions of that flying hour, and seem
to see
Norah nibbling gamgott,
Bertha slipping tea,
! Grace and Annie helping Bruce to stir
the fricasee;
Robert cries and Wilfrid,
Chop Sooy's very fit
Joss be praised my conscience and in
ternals did permit!
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
Contemptible But Trivial.

Verbena, the colored cook, asked
permission to bake cake for the We'd
ding breakfast Of one Of her friends.
The next day her mistress said TO her:
well. Bena, how did the wedding
go off"
Law, Mrs. L." Verbena replied, IT
war a mos pow'ful fine Weddin. ID"
breckfus was mos appetiZin. spe
cially de cake you done glib me; an
wild all de guests wearin' der bes' clos,
an behavin' mos impressive. An dc
bride suttainly did look beautiful In
her white satin gown wild de long
white veil an de orange blossoms.
"And how about the bridegroom,
'BeEa?"
"Dar!" exclaimed Verbena, her eyes
flashing, ode low-down, no-count mig
gah nevah come gh!"-Harper's
Magazine.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
FOOL YOUNGENS.
ert an Minnie-Belle

Me an Bert an M1nnle-Belle
Knows joke. an we won't tell.
No. we don't-'cause We don't know
Why we got to laughin' so:
But we got to laughin' so.
We ist KEEP a-laughin'
Wind wuz BLOWN in the trees
An wuZ only ist us three
Playin' there: an ever one
Ketched each other. like we done.
SQuintin' up there at the sun
Like We wuz a'laughin'
Nothin' funny anyway:
But laughed. an so did they
An We all three laughed. an nen
Squint our eyes an laugh again:
Ner we didn't list pten'-
We wuz shore 'nou 1 laughin'.
We list laugh an laugh. tel Bert
Say he can't quit an it hurt
Men l howl. an Minnie-Belle
She tear up the grass a spell
An ist stop her yeers an yell,
Like she'd die a-laughin'
Nevir SIGH fool-youngens yit,
Nothin' funny-not a Bit
But we laugh so. tel we whoop
Purt' nigh like we have the Group
All so hoarse we'd wheeze an whool
An list choke a-laughin
James Whitcomb Riley.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
SOME PASSING PLEAsANTRlEs.

Miss Madison Ayenue-"And to
what do you attribute your long life,
Uncle Suburbs?'
Uncle Suburbs-"To quinine, my
dear, to quinine. Judge.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-"Did you say he
was a man of stable habits?"
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-"Yes he kicks
like a mule. "-YOnkers Statesman.
Ferdy-'Dear boy. Have you twied
health food?''
Percy-"T have. What an awful
thing if they should invent health
cigawettes, eh?"-Life.
What we want" said the First Pa
triot. lis honest elections"
Il should say So agreed the Second
Patriot. "Why, Heeler promised me
$50 for my influence in my ward, and
now says he never agreed to give me
more than $40 Baltimore SIM.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
Heredity.

To account for the transmissibility
of ancestral types Darwin in his work
on "Pangenesis" promulgated
theory that each cell threw off what
he designated "gemmules," which
formed the nuclei of another series
of cells, whose sole destiny in the
economy of nature was the propaga-
ton of its species. These gem
mules" formed the blastema, in
which was contained an exceedingly
micrOscopical impression of the
animal which might ultimately be
called into being. If this were the
case, we should be able to submit
the miniature image to our investiga-
ton by means of the microscope.
But strong microscopes are wanted.
The red COrpusCles of human blood
have been measured and the diameter
is found to be about one four
thOuSandth part of an inch. The
number of these red Corpuscles which
would adhere to the point OF a needle
would not been less than 1000 900
Theory teaches that the final division
of matter Is the atom and the atom
has been measured. 1t is calculated
that in a cube of water one thirty
thousandth part Of an inch wide
there are 30,000,000 atoms.-London
| Science Gossip.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
THE MOTOR BICYCLE.
The Missing Link Between the Auto
mobile and the "Bike."

The Missing Link Between the Auto
mobile and the "Bike."
Only a few years ago it would have
been impossible to secure an efficient,
safe and practical motor cycle. 1t is
only within the last two years that
this special industry has shed it's ex-
detrimental sWaddling clothes 1t is
now at a stage when the standardiz-
ing of essential features, the inter
changeability of parts and the com
parative unanimity OF design have put
it on a practical mechanical and
commercial basis.
France led the way. She was the
first to produce a practical motor
cycle. In England, where the three
wheeler has always been popular, the
makers were quick to follow suit. In
this country three notable bicycle
manufacturers produce mechanically
successful patterns of motor tricycles,
which, however, failed to attract the
public, doubtless for the reason that
the three-wheeler has never been a
favOrite here. The motor bicycle, how
ever, supplies the hitherto missing
link between the bicycle and the au-
tomobile, between the poor and the
rich of the speeding sport. 1t makes
it's owner feel that he is still wheel
man in spite of the snOrting motor on
his wheel, and when automobiles of
much larger horse power try to pass
him in vain on the road he is pleas
antly reminded that he is in it and
able to hold his own among the swift
company of automobiles. That, too,
has something to do with the popular
ity of the motor bicycle. 1t is far
cheaper to operate than the smallest
launch it is much less liable to get
out of order than the most reliable
type of horseless vehicle, and it is
the swiftest and most economic We
hicIe known in proportion to weight,
carrying capacity and fuel consump-
| ton.
A motor bicycle weighing only go
pounds, of 11a horsepower, will cas-
| lily and safely carry a man weighing
| 100 pounds across the average kind of
| country road at maintained speed
| of rom 20 to % miles an hour. The
! automobile has not been built which,
weight for weight, and proportionate
power, could come anywhere near this
performance. When 1t Is considered
| that the factor of safety in steel
| bridges is four, or, in other words,
! that bridge to be safe must be
strong enough to sustain four times
the sum of it's own weight and the
! live load, the fact that the motor cycle
| is able to carry three times its own
weight and over, in addition to pro-
| polling this load at rate of speed
prohibited on most bridges, and by
virtue of comparatively small horse
power, we begin to appreciate the
amount of practical science involved
in the building of the motor cycle.
| When the English Singer motor
cycle was first introduced it was ridi
culed as a toy of very little practica
use. Wheelmen jeered at the idea OF
comprising the motive power within
the front steering wheel, and automo
bilists don't ride motor cycles II
/ was soon found, however, that this
/ unsightIy but reliable machine would
/ carry it's passenger over British roads
! PIT a 20-miIe clip, with no material
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Continued.

she heard him in silence, having a
resentment Of what was coming.
Lady Kinloch is a very old friend
If mine" he stammered out, after a
Dause; 4 should like to ask her and
Miss Rane."
Lady Kinloch does not like you,
+ YOU are a very old friend" she re-
piled, calmly, and Miss Rane Will
never enter my house"
Permit me TO remind you, Laura
that it is now my house
By courtesy"
Not at all While you I'VE, my
dear. by the simple and happy IL" OF
our land. all that is yours is mine
LADY Laura declined to argue the
r,otnt: but she recalled the time, not
long since, when the happiest thought
r. her life had been that she could
share her fortune with him.
So you will not invite Lady Kin
,gch and her niece?" he asked pres
-otIy.
I will not" she answered.
Suppose [ do it myself, without
arv reference to you?' said the CAP
.aID.
IN that case [ should leave the
Abbey at once, and 1 should not return
until they had left it, she answered.
For which" he said to himself, l
10 to thank Angela; and | Will 90
80 with a will some day"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
RIoodhounds lake Bette

so you won't let me play Hemlet'
said Stormington Barnes.
"Emphatically no" answered the
manager.
You have no respect for the charac-
ter of the great Dane?"
Now, my dear Storm" was the
soothing rejoinder, what does the
public care about great Danes? What
they want is the bloodhoUuds in
Uncle Toms Cabin. Troy Times.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27
For Concentration.

Desmond-If you buy this elegant
fur coat. Dorothy. how are we ever
going to pay for it?
Dorothy-Oh, Desmond. don't let's
talk about two things at once! Let's
talk about the coat.-Iife.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-02-27

drawback except the liability of the
steering wheel to be ierked from side
to side IN trayersing rough pieces OF
Notwithstanding American
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11
THE RESERVED SECTION
Nv. D. Nesbit; in Baltimore American.)

Nv. D. Nesbit, in Baltimore American.)
["The rights and interests of the laborine
man will be protected and cared for, not BY
labor agitatOrs, but by the Christian men Il
whom God In his infinite wisdom has given con
trol OF the property interests of the country
In the prehistoric ages, when the world was q
A seething swirl Of something unknown in thu
planets list;
When the earth was vague with vapor, ant
formless. and dark, and void
The sport of the Maynard eomet-the jibe of thu
asteroid-
Then the singing stars of morning chanted soft
Keep out Of there!
Keep off that spot which is sizzling hot-it i.
making coal for Baer.'
When the pterodactyl ambled, or futtered, o,
swan, or jumped,
And the plesiosaurus rambled, all careless O
what he bumped,
And the other old-time monsters that thrivet
on the land and sea,
And didn't know what their names were an,
more than today do we
Wherever they went they heard it, ''You fellows
keep out of there
That place which shakes and quivers and auake
1T is making coal for Baer''
The carboniferous era consumed but a million
years;
1t started when earth was shedding the last O
her baby tears
When still She was swaddledSsoftly in clumsil,
tied-on clouds,
When stars from the shops of Nature wer,
being turned out in crowds;
But high DER the favored section this sign sait
to all: "Beware!
Stay back of the ropes that surround thes.
sl0pes-they are making coal for Baer!,
We ought to be glad and joyous, we ought to b,
filled with glee
That aeons ago the placard was nailed to tn,
ancient tree,
That millions and millions of ages-back farther
than Adam and Eve
The ichthyosaurus halted, and speedily took hi.
leave,
And SO it was all saved for us. the spot with thu
sign: Beware!
This plant is run by the earth and sun and il
making coal for Baer!"
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11

Many Visitors State fair week
Last Week. brought hordes Of
visitors to this institution. Most
of them came from the rural dis
tricts and they made the trip to
Saltwater as a>little side excursion
They were on hand before the
doors opened in the morning and
poured through the prison in a
constant stream until 6 o'clock in
the evening. The rush of business
was far too heavy for Usher John.
son to handle alone, and Guards
William Alexander and jerks
were on duty in his Office during
the week.
In all, 2,422 visitors paid adj.
mission, and in addition to these
300 were admitted on passes
Thursday was the heaviest day
the records showing that on> that
day 712 visitors were escorted
through the prison. Friday came
next with $40, Wednesday next
with 479, Saturday next with 373
and Tuesday last with 348.
Everybody seemed to enjoy the
novel experience Of being inside
prison walls, and everybody had a
fund of questions to ask the Ush.
or. Only one person seemed dis
satisfied An old lady who had sci
her heart on seeing dungeon. .
She felt she had not received he1
moneys worth.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11

fore, or MAY hereaftex forfeit any
good time b. violating any exist
ing law or prison regulation such
portion Of lost good time as may
be proper, in his judgment, upon
recommendations and evidence
submitted to him by the warden
in charge. Restoration. in the
case of United States conviots con-
fined in State and Territorial in
stitutions,, shall be regulated in
accordance with the rules gov
erning such institutions, respect
lively.
Sec. 8. That this Act shall take
effect and be in force from and
after thirty days from the date of
it's approval, and shall apply only
to sentences imposed by courts
subsequent to the time that this
Act takes effect, as hereinbefore
provided. Prisoners serving un-
der any sentence imposed prior to
such time shall be entitled and
receive the Communication hereto
fore allowed under existing laws.
Such existing laws are hereby re-
pealed as to all sentences imposed
subsequent to the time when this
Act takes effect.
Approved, June 81, 1902.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11
TO INMATES.

For tho Information of new arrivals and all
others desiring to send THE MIRROR to friends
We wish to say that the privilege will be granted
BY complying with the following rules: Write
out your own name, register and cell number
and send to this ONCE with name and address
Of person to whom paper is to be sent. Each
paper must be kept clean and folded in the
same manner as it Is when you receive it and
placed in your door every Friday night. All in
mates are requested to comply with this order
whether sending out copy or not.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11

OF Interest To Warden Wolfer has
D. 8. Prisoners. received a CODY of
the act regulating the 'good time"
of the United States prisoners
which was passed at the last ses-
sion of congress and became law
on July Fl. It is not materially
different from the Minnesota good
time law, except that prisoners
serving six months or less get no
communication. The Minnesota law
gives the prisoner little the best
of it. The act, which only applies
to prisoners sentenced after July
81, 1902, is in full as follows:
Be it enacted by the Senate
and House of Representatives of
the United States of America in
Congress assembled, That each
prisoner who has been or shall
hereafter be convicted of any Of
Tense against the laws of the
United States, and is confined, in
execution of the Judgment or sem
tence upon any such conviction,
in any United States penitentiary
or Jail, or in any penitentiary,
prison, or Jail of any State or Ter
ritory, for definite term, other
than for life, whose record of con-
duct shows that he has faithfully
observed all the rules and has not
been subjected to punishment,
shall be entitled to a deduction
from the term of his sentence to
be estimated as follows, commenc-
ing on the first day of his arrival
at the penitentiary, prison, or Jail:
Upon a sentence Of not less than
six months nor more than one year,
five days for each month; upon a
sentence of more than one year
and less than three years, six days
for each month; upon a sentence
Of not less than three years and
less than five years, seven days for
each month; upon a sentence of
not less than five years and less
than ten years, eight days for
leach month; upon sentence of
ten years or more, ten days for
each month. When prisoner has
two or more sentences, the aggre-
gate of his several sentences shall
be the basis upon which his deduc-
ton shall be estimated.
Sec. 2. That in the case of con-
victs in any United States peni-
tentiary, the Attorney General
shall have the power to restore to
any such convict who has hereto
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11
LOCAL NEWS.

Owing to the absence of Assist
ant Deputy Warden Colligan,
there was no meeting of the local
Chsutauqua circle last Sunday.
The postponed meeting will be
held next Sunday.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11

No charge is made to keepers
who wish to watch Guard Smiths
company drill on Sunday morn
ing. It is an educational feature.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11
SIMPLICITY: A LAW OF NATURE.
BY RABBI ]. LESSER IN AUGUST CRAFTSMAN.

the useless
L. wives the fest simplest
Dersome languages the Chinese
ceremonies involved
coming obsolete Nature line
simplicity.
recently street pageant which was headed
drove of elephants following
procession ending with line
Iof animal evolutionary process
Elephants time they
and their bulky kim the
but their
were too big to manager hence they eliminated
useful far than the elephant
mas needless hesh He containing himself all
thing and Social
are not useful of
democracy They not independent
mans freedom liberty words
ways seeking the simplest thing
itself the adaptation Of the simple and when re
gons are of their and ministers putting
with the divine
We way language action thought
and conduct The simple Like everlasting
becoming conscious of our
thought day simplicity The CRY for
from many of the globe We are
our burdens uxues indugnces
supehuies stale and know better than
demanding
Are not living nationally eating
things excellent? Read
the tendency will it the evident
light and more sunshine and fresh all
part of modern thought: simplicity
glowing horizon
mans fall people
graphing themselves retiring retreat and
there making inventory asking
n
life unless he be Free economically free politically
regus dependent independent No
every his means Of
livelihood. Dependency is parastical
and when another
underg most vital thing in the world
u.s. Dependency
civilization fear not wealth
ton fear the ene of the wealthy trouble
work he wishes He
free and there can be no simplicity life until we free
were we to pause and ask ourselves what need order
arrive some universal truths We should certainly find the
and these again the simplest things the world
the simplest things have
and thirst
low creatures or have never breathed fresh air.
dire necessity a luxury.
this fss
the prevent
slice % HGsoss ss'oa
wNd ailments n known the social
,5s '"a ' 'sas lss '1'. a'
as. 70
a R We @ % @ We % s @ % nS
aa wear what ntePg We
sensible
si4e shS }s
not 50 much for comfort for show good
street. think *. Of the Jest and laugh
ssne .aS Always .t fitting silk
and then throw When
live IS live Fashion, se asas t.. do
There
D oe
haes %sR h and
the
useful not k %Ssn what a into w
s.
demand that home
s ss s7 s not s4 ,s
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11
CHURCH NOTICE.

Services in the Prison Chapel at 600 O'Clock
every Sunday morning. Protestant and
Catholic services every alternate Sunday.
Rev. 8. j. Kennedy. and Rev. FIR. Corcoran
ehaplAlns.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11
KILOGRAMS.
ny THE ssrwINs.,s

H. ny THE ssTwINs.s i
The flag of civilization, like the
mantle Of charity. covers q null
titude of sins.
If there is one man more than
another who should be made to 90
away back and sit down it is the
one that is altogether too forward.
Many a mans reputation for
wit is due to his having been ine
terviewed by bright reporter.
A Chicago man shot his wife
because he loved her. Some men
are so demonstrative.
A lady writer in Freedom"
says there are ''get there people
and others who have very little
get there in them. I belong to
the get there breed" So do I,
old girl, this is my fifth trip.
Five chorus girls and seven
actors served on a Denver iury.
They acquitted the defendant who
was charged with stealing rail
road pass.
Sin Bad says that he intends to
cut down several of the maple trees
this fall. On being asked why, he
replied, Because they weren't
poplar
The plagiarist is literary hobo
who rides on the brake beam of
another mans train of thought.
Lion-What makes the spotted
leopard SO stuck up?
Tiger-Why didn't you hear
that he is the proud father of a
little ninespot?
Mary MoLane says that she
loves devils and has proved it by
falling in love with Chicago
man.
Dowie says that the flesh of the
oyster is food only fit for the
devil and a great many people
think that Dowie's talk is food
only fit for the mind of a lob
ster.
What the soft coal baron needs
is a good hard jolt on the solar
plexus. ~
The eastern youth who reads
yellow backed novels no longer
yearns to come west and shoot
Indians. He remains at home and
shoots the can.
Madame, said the titled sutton,
you have something better than
beauty; you have plenty of good
cents.
Give the colored waiter at the
restaurant a straight tip on the
races and he will give you a good
square meal.
The more money a man saves
when he is young the more he
will have to spend on patent med
icines when he gets old.
Our local bug exterminator must
be of the opinion that celluloid
eyeshade is like the boy who stood
on the burning deck too green
to burn.
Few people ever get close
enough to the bird called happi-
ness to shake the traditional grain
of salt on its tail.
When a Frenchman tries to tell
story in the English language
he gets it off as a woman gets off
a street car backwards.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-09-11

PRISON OFFICIALS.
BOARD or CONTROL.
9. ". LEAvErr. Chairman - L.tchaeld
W. Il. LEE. L0ng Prairie
OBJ. GOULD. winona
d. W. WRIGHT, Secretary
RESIDENT oFFloiALs.
HENRY wOLFRR, - warden
j. o. GLKNNON. - Deputy Warden
II. G. COLLIGAN, Asst. Deputy Warden
HORACE w. DAVIS. Clerk
r. II. BORDWELL Steward
b. MERRILL, Physician
MISS MARY MCKINNEY. Matron
8. j. KENNEDY, Protestant Chaplain
CHARLES CORCORAN, Catholic Chaplain
PRISON AGENT.
#. A. WHITTIER, st. Paul.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-08-01
THE SAME uxD : TORY.

]. A. Kelly relates an expert
ence similar t.. that which has
happened in almost every neigh
borhood in the United States, and
has been told. and re-told by
thousands of others. He says:
"Last summer L:had an attack OF
dysentery and purchased a bot
tie of hamberiaiu's Coiic, Choi-
era aud Diarrhoea Remedy,
which I used according 10 direc
tions and with entirely satisfac
tory results. The trouble was
controlled much quicker than
former attacks when used
other remedies Mr., Kelly is
Il we'll known citizen of Hender-
son, N. G.. For sale by ali drug
SiStS,