Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1902-12-11
us You like II.

Whatever may be his defects the
East End cockney has one admirable
quality-he invariably expresses him
self in a manner so terse and forcible
as to put even the redoubtable Rud-
yard into the shade.
Said one of this genus to another
whom he met on the pier at Margate;
"Wot yer, AIRY, me lad! Wot sort
OF jerney darn did yer 'ave?"
Prime, replied AIRY third clarss
| ucket, second clarss kerridge and fust
| clarss kumpany."
He was watching his neighbours
| troublesome boy climb tree, and he
had look of painful anxiety on his
countenanCe.
Are you afraid the lad will fall?"
| he was asked
NO" he replied Pm afraid he
won't"
Simpson-Young' wife is certainly
a good manager.
Sampson-Of household affairs?
Simpson-No; of Young
Laura-Auntie, should be justified
in writing to a young man who had
never written to me?
Auntie-Only on very important
business my dear.
Laura-Well, this is important bust
ness. | want to marry him.
John she said, there's nothing |
enjoy more than reading the last
words of great men. | wonder what
your last words will be-"
Maria" he replied. the last word
is something that l never expect to
have"
And this was the first time on rec
ord that he got it.
Women are hard to understand.
told her she carried her age well, and
she was offended"
Was she, really?"
Yes; and then told her she didn't
carry it well, and she wouldn't speak"
Ais it true that your cashier has
eloped with your daughter and a large
sum of money?
BIT is quite true, but he is an
honest fellow and means to repay me.
He has already returned me my daugh-
ter.
Edith-Tell me frankly George, if
you were a rich man do you think you
would ask me to marry you?
George don't think it would be
necessary Edith; in that case you
would probably do the asking.
Did you ever stop to think, my
love. said Mr.. Micawber gazing at his
plate of lobster salad, that the things
we love most in this life are the very
things that never agree with us?"
win you be so kind, Micawber,"
said Mrs. Micawber Strengthening up,
"as to tell me whether you are speak
ing of the salad or of me, sir?"
There is going to be a wonderful
eclipse of the moon next month"
We'll, keep quiet about it. If my
wife finds it out she will insist on hay
ing a new dress for the occasion"
Now" said Mrs. Bridely, Just as
soon as We get good cook dear am
going to give a dinner"
"All right" replied her husband,
quickly. I'll come"
Wife-Be sure to advertise for Fido
in the morning newspapers.
Next day the wife read as follows
in the newspapers: Lost, a NANCY
lapdog with one eye and no tail. Too
fat to walk Answers to the name of
Fido If returned stuffed two pounds
reward"
Just fahncy, Weginald, I've forgot
ten ma cahrd case"
"Nevah mind, deah boy; I'll lend you
some of mine
"But-ah-the name would be differ
ent, you know
Bah Jove. so il would, What head
you have, Algy"
Two old friends meet after a separa-
ton of many years.
Time flies" says one but, after
all, you are not so bald as | expected
to find you"
Bald. | should say not. Look in the
glassf yourself. I've more hair than
you have"
More hair than have? That's an
surd perfectly absurd! Let's count
EN-"
DAYS LOST IN STRIKES.