davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

The Wise Guy was thinking. 1t dis
turbed the Innocent Party to see him
do it; so he jostled him suddenly, says
the Chicago Tribune.
Yes" said the Wise Guy, nodding
his head slowly; you are an idiot"
What makes you call me that?" de-
manded the Innocent Party; II didn't
do thing but wake you up bit"
And break my chain of thoughts.
How do you know that was not evilv-
ing something at that very moment
which would revolutionize the world?
How do you know that you did not
disturb the greatest incubation of the
greatest idea ever Matched? This
habit of punching people in the ribs,
of waking them up is peculiarly the
performance of idiots. That's why
called you one. Did it ever occur to
you that you might some day prevent
or spoil some thought that would other
wise have made the thinker a world
benefactor? Think a little yourself
some time, for a change, and let me
jostle you"
"All right" said the Innocent Party,
81 will. But what were you thinking
of Just now?"
oh" replied the Wise Guy, 81 was
wondering why they didn't lay all the
pipes and things down in the streets
before they began to build the city.
That's all"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
lNDkA ~ NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Special Notices-For Sale and For
rent, Lippman Drug Company; Ship
Notice, Williamson e. Rauers, Agents;
AS to Closing of City Offices and Re
ception to Admiral Schley; Notice to
Water Takers. l. u. Kinsey, Superin-
tendent; Notice to Contractors, Clerk
of Council, Dublin, Ga; Suwannee
Springs Water; Notice TO Superior
Court Jurors; The Only Place, John
Funk
Business Notices-Potomac Roe Her
ring A NJ. & c. w. West; What's a
Line, Trapani & Branan; Some Special
Table Delicacies, the S. w. Branch
Company.
Our Mems Clothing Departmental.
II. Levy & Bro.
Excursions-Clark's Cruise to the
Mediterranean and the Orient.
Optical Department-Leopold Adler.
Cereal Foods-Postum Food Coffee;
Grape Nuts.
Amusements-Ten Nights in a Bar
Room, at Theater Monday, Matinee and
Night.
Medical Blood Wine; Pinkham Veg
etable Compound TUFTS Pills; DIR.
Hathaway; Hyomei; Yaki; Thatcher
Medicine Company.
Cheap Column ELECTROMAGNETIC
Wanted. Employment Wanted, For
Rent. For Sale, Lost, Personal, Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
HOW TO Be SUCCESSFUL.
Experiences Of Some Of On,
WealthieSt Men Good Health
the Keynote.

Success does not follow i'll health ~, -.
contrary, it takes good health to make o ,ns
successful. A good appetite, ability to s,eao
soundly all night long, and arise feelinp
rested and refreshed, with a body tbat baoo
no pains or aches, and clear brain mi 70
vim, ideas and insight into business. iswbot
make success. The Vanderbilts. GorlJa
Astors, Havemeyers, and long list ~
others that we could name, attribute tboi.
wealth and success in business tn Ion.
hours and hard work, which were maJoo
possible by good health. Bad health is ~
cause of more failures in business tbaD
anything else. Blood Winen keens tba
health good. 1t cleanses every particle Of
blood that flows through your veins Il
abstracts the impurities and germs. forces
them out of the body, and leaves only the
pure, rich blood, which feeds the weakened
tissues, and keeps one in good health
Blood Wine " will give you clear brain
so that you can think, reason, plan. ana
succeed. 1t enables you to grasp situa.
tior quickly, to understand clearly. It
takes every ache and pain out of your svs-
TEN, and transforms every organ of yonr
body 30 its normal healthy condition
Blood Wine contains no wine or opiates
simply medicines of wonderful curative
characteristics that never disappont.
In the business world . Blood Wine isa
great favorite with both men and women
Storekeepers, clerks, stenographers, book.
keepers, lawyers, clergymen. and all re-.
quiring powerful agent TO clear the brain.
and aid them i'll business, take it.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

They are telling story on John W.
Gates, says the New York Times. 1t
is that the other night he had eluded
the swarm of beggars that hover
around the Holland House, the Wal
dorf- Astoria, Delmonico's, and Sherrys.
Later he was accosted by a part.c-
ularly insolent beggar, so very daring
and aggressive that he promised to be
interesting. Mr.. Gates dug down into
his pocket, jngled some coins, and
pulled out quarter. This he gave
to the beggar.
You're a nice one, you are said
the mendicant. You'd spend that
many dollars for luncheon, and you
give man in hard luck that chicken
feed"
Excuse me- said Mr.. Gates. GIVE
me that back" He reached into his
pocket as if to draw out a larger coin,
and the beggar expectantly handed
back the quarter.
Mr.. Gates put it in his pocket. re-
marking that it would be useful for a
tip, and walked into the lobby of the
Waldorf-AStoria.
According to the story, the beggar
now takes his hat off every time he
sees Mr.. Gates. incidentally, MIR.
Gates denies the story. But it is one
of those that are going the rounds
in happy Wall street.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
DIR. BRUNNER's VIEWS ON LAUREL
GROVE.

Since the Park and Tree Commission
made it's report in regard to Laurel
Grove Cemetery. in which it was
shown that there was sufficient room
within the limits of that burial place to
meet the city's needs for several years
to come. the question of a new Gene
terry has taken another shape, namely,
that it is necessary for the health of
the city that there should be no fur
Their enlargement of the burial space
so near the city.
In a recent letter of the Health Of
ficer to Alderman Dixon, mention of
which was made in the Morning News
a week or so since, DIR. Drummer took
strong grounds against increasing the
area for burial purposes in Laurel
Grove Cemetery, While the Morning
News has opposed any expenditure for
a new cemetery so long as Laurel
Grove and other burial places afforded
sufficient accommodations, 1t admits
that the health officers views give a
new phase to the matter, and should
be given thoughtful consideration.
Savannah has always been Jealous
in the work of improving her health
conditions, and within the past three
years has expended a very large sum in
putting in a system of sanitary sewer
age. and the county authorities have
spent hundreds of thousands of dollars
since 1876 in draining the lowlands of
the county. No backward step, there
fore, should be taken in matters per-
tanning to health. Dr. Drummer, in his
letter referred to, says:
That part of the city which is near
est Laurel Grove Cemetery has always
furnished the highest death rate, and
while the cemetery has not been the
principal factor in producing this NOR
tality, IL has been a powerful auNil-
larry.
ITO continue to bury thousand or
more bodies annually within your city
is a grave evil which almost partakes
of criminality. Situated as this city is
in a semi-tropical climate, too much
care can not be taken with waste mat
ter. and it's removal from the presence
of populated centers to isolated points
is one of the first principals of mod
ern sanitation"
His letter contains other objections
to enlargement of the cemetery an
against using It any more than neces-
sary. AS the official head of the in-
portant department of public health
his opinion on the subject is timely
and worthy OF serious attention.
He is not. as we understand it, OPP
posed to the use of Laurel Grove Gem
etery TO the limited extent which
would prevail If a new cemetery were
opened. but to the use of It any more
than is necessary Whether Sa-
vannah can afford at this time to buy
a new cemetery site and undertake the
! Improvement Of IL is question that
must be considered in connection with
| her sanitary welfare.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
Registered at Postofice in Savannah.
THE MORNING NEWS is published

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and served to
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail,
at 20 cents a month, s4.00 for six
months, and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week without Sunday ISSUE,
three months. $3.50; six months, $500;
one year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week CMonday and Thursday, by mail.
one year, $1.00.
Subscriptions payable in advance
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading no
tees, amusements and cheap or want
column, 10 cents a line. Fourteen lines
of agate type-equal to one inch in
depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
Office.
Z Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 210. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. c. Faulkner, Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
EdNvnrd,s narrow Escape.

At dinner on the yacht of a prom
inent member of New York society. an
Enslishman. who was present on Sir
Thomas Lipton's yacht when he was
entertaining King Edward, was dis
cussing the accident which on that oc-
&c sion seriously threatened the lives
OF all on board, says the New York
Times.
People little know" he said how
nearly England came to losing her
King. IL would have been impossible
had Il come TO the worst to have saved
all. and IL IL had become necessary to
make a choice. whom should we have
saved. the ladies of the party or the
King?'
All were silent pondering the ethics
and morals of the question. No one
vcntured 10 offer solution of the diff
hculty. The continued silence began
60 be embarrassing when young
American woman relieved the situation
by proposing:
why not let God save the King7'
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

AT the Concert.-"His voice has a
good. compass" yves; but it didn't
prevent his being all at sea in that last
song. "-Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Human Nature. Smith-"There
goes a man who hasn't a friend in the
world" Jones-"Poor fellow! How did
he lose his money?"-Chicago Daily
News.
Our Christmas Tea.-Unregenerate
Youth-"Pass the seedy caike." vi
cars Daughter-"If?-If?- Unre-
generate Youthful e don't I'll shove
i'm in the faice!"-Punch.
-Bill-"How long was your friend
the artist. working on that canvass"
Eight yzrs. Took him six
months to paint It and seven years and
a half trying to sell it."-Tit-Bits.
Lawyer examining witness)-
where was your maid at the timer"
Lady-"In my boudoir arranging my
hair" Lawyer-"And were you there
also?" Lady Indignantly -"Sir!"-
Chicago Journal.
On Their Wedding Trip.-Bride-
Darling, what caused you to pick out
Milwaukee as the end of our bridal
tour?" Groom-"It was the farthest
place I could get pass to."-Louis-
vile Evening Post.
On the Ark.-'This is tough luck"
said Ham, mournfully, as he leaned out
over the side of the ark. Whats wrong
now" queried Shem. 'Why, all this
water to fish in" replied Ham, land
only two fishin' worms on board. -
Ohio State Journal
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
COuIdn't UnderHfand.

Clinton Fiske has a friend, an Eng
lishman by birth and an American by
force of circumstances, who has been
in this country long enough to absorb
the American idea of humor, says the
New York Times. Last summer he was
in London on visit, and happening to
have business with a man on an up
per floor of a tall building. took the
Tiff TO reach his office. The elevator
was one of those excessively deliber-
ate British affairs, and it's snail-like
progress annoyed the Americanized
Briton. The only other occupant of
the car was a middle-a aged Englishman,
with manner of peculiarly English
seriousness. The man from America
ventured to address him:
II think l could make a great i'm
provement in this lift" he said.
The Englishman looked seriously in
terested. "How?" he asked
Why" the other man went on, I'D
make it go faster by a simple little ar
rangement. II stop the lift altogether
and move the building up and down"
The Englishman looked slightly more
interested.
How" he asked.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
THE CANAL BILL.

| The almost unanimous vote by which
! the Nicaragua canal bill passed the
House justifies the belief that the pass
age of the Morgan canal bill by the
| Senate will not long be delayed. The
Morgan bill is very much like the Hep
| burn bill which passed the House. The
| two bills would. of course, be referred
to a conference committee, and out OF
the-two would be shaped bill that
would meet the approval of both
! houses and the President.
1t is not improbable that the House
bill will be substituted in the Senate
for the Morgan bill. That would, of
! course, simplify matters greatly. But
whether there is such substitution or
not it is evident that the temper of
Congress is in favor of passing a canal
bill without unnecessary delay. The
entire country, with the exception of
certain railroad interests, has made up
it's mind apparently that an isthmian
canal is necessary for the proper de-
Velopment of it's commercial interests.
The effort in the House to open the
power of the President to make a
choice between the Nicaragua and Pan
anna routes was a complete failure.
There seems to be a settled determina-
ton not to become entangled in the
Panama scheme in any way. The Of
fer of the Panama Company to sell all
of it's rights in the Panama CANAL for
$40, 600, 900 has created some sentiment
in favor of taking the Panama route
for the canal but from the vote in
the House it is safe to assume that
the sentiment will not become strong
enough to influence Congress to ac-
cept it,
Doubtless the effort in the Senate to
have the Panama route chosen will be
stronger than it was in the House. 1t
is expected that the entire opposition to
any canal viii join with the friends
of the Panama route and make a fight
in the Senate against the Nicaragua
route. If there should be such fight
it is safe to predict that it would be
failure. With such a sentiment in
favor of an isthmian canal the Senate
cannot afford to delay action on a canal
bill very long, and the consensus of
opinion seems to be that a canal on
the Nicaragua route would be best for
the United States.
There is, of course, a great deal of
speculation as to the cost of a canal
on either route, but there is so much
haziness surrounding that feature of the
subject that nothing that can be said
in respect to cost is likely to influence
the action of the Senate any more than
it influenced the action of the House.
The estimates for a canal on the Mica
ragua route run all the way from $780,
600. 000 the estimate OF the Isthmian
Canal Commission, to 81 900, 100000, the
alleged estimate of one of the members
of the commission, but it will be re-
membered that Representative Cum
mings, in a speech on the floor of the
House the other day. said that judging
from the cost of the completed part
of the Panama canal il would cost
fully $3.50, 100000 to finish that canal.
In the face OF such wild estimates, as
sertions respecting the cost of one
canal or the other are not likely to cut
much of a figure in determining the
route.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

The newest thing in New York is the
automobile frown." Pretty nearly all
of the owners and drivers of fast ma
chimes are said to be affected with it,.
DR.. Carlton Simon has discovered IL,
and thus describes and accounts for
it; There is distinct contraction
of the muscles of the forehead and
eyes, producing a frown which by con-
tinued habit remains in evidence upon
the face. This is the result Of fear
of accident, etc. 1t is enhanced by
the rapidity of riding, the wind strik-
ing the face and shrinking of the eye
brows downward to protect the eyes
from dust and currents of air which
irritate them"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

Bishop Potter and the Rev. DIR.
Rainesford of New York have recently
said some things bearing upon prohi
bition that are not entirely in accord
with the orthodox prohibtionist view.
A gentleman of Poughkeepsie, N. Y,
after reading the opinions of the emil
nent divines, said he would like to
take them into a closed room and have
it out with them" This is merely an
illustration of the intemperance of
some of the temperance people.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

1t seems that the way is now about
clear for the acceptance by the gov
ernment of Mr.. Carnegie's proposed
gift of $10oOO.0oO for national insti-
tuition of higher learning. The fund is
TO be in 8 per cent. bonds. and under
the direction of distinguished board
OF trustees headed by the President of
the United states. The trustees are to
be organized during the latter part of
this month, and it is possible that the
institution will be in working order
within a few months.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

In Wheeling, w. Va, Fred Lee IL
looked upon as big-hearted and
brave man; and necessarily he must
be one, since the other day he eloped
with and married a girl weighing 4S2
pounds. Notwithstanding his own
weight is just 1O1. He has to hug one
side at a time
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

Representative Mccall Of Massachu-
sets has introduced a bill to repeal
that clause OF the customs law which
limits 10 500 the personal effects of
Americans returning from abroad that
may be brought In without duty. He
wishes TO have il so that travellers
may bring In all the clothes and per
sonal effects they please. without
molestation by the customs officials.
The law has been the source OF many
complaints and much Inconvenience.
but the tailors aud haberdashers on
this side Of the ocean are ready to
affirm It's wisdom and justice.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

If the New York Worlds informa-
ton is correct, It cost Perry Belmont
$4,000 TO ascertain that the people of
the Battery district" of New York
did not desire him as their represen-
tative In Congress. That. according
to the World. is the sum OF Mr.. Bel
monts election expenses. The con-
grcssional term is two years. and the
pay is 5000 year
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

Admiral Dewey is having a good
time in Florida. He says he is happy.
and there Is every reason to believe
II. The weather down there about
now is perfect and there is much
agreeable company TO be found. The
other day an acquaintance hunted up
Admiral Dewey. and when found the
hero of Manila Bay and Joseph Jefrer-
son were sitting on the top Of rail
fence, like boys, swinging their feet
whiting sticks and talking of many
interesting things. Just about all they
lacked Of return 10 boyhood was to
pull OF their shoes and stockings and
go WadinE.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

The legal authorities of Philadelphia
shoulder of man who calls himself a
vita physician" and proclaims him
self able to cure all sorts of diseases
without medicines. In recent case of
tumor this fake physician had pre-
scribed persimmons, baked barley figs
and milk from black COW. 1t is mar
Vicious how many persons can be cas-
lily humbugged when it comes to mat
ter of treating disease.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
SUGAR PLANTERS PROTEST..

The protest of the sugar planters of
Louisiana against any tariff conces-
sions to the sugar planters of Cuba is
not unexpected. There is some force in
the position which they take, namely
that they of all of their fellow citi-
zens are to suffer because of the ac
ton of this country in freeing Cuba
from the rule of Spain. They are not
the only ones, however, who would be
injuriously affected by concessions to
Cuba sugGE planters. The growers of
sugar beets and the makers of beet
sugar would find it difficult. in all
probability, to keep alive their indus
try.
Notwithstanding the protest. how
ever, it is practically certain that con-
cessions will be made to both sugar
and tobacco growers of Cuba. 1t is
said that a great change has taken
place in the sentiments of Republicans
in Congress in respect to this matter
within the last few weeks. Many SEN
ators and representatives, on their re-
turn to their homes during the holt
days, found that the people quite gem
orally favored extending a helping
hand to Cuba, Notwithstanding the
fact that harm would be done to GER
tain American interests. While, there
fore, there will be lively fight over
this matter when it comes before Con-
gress there does not seem to be room
for doubt that some degree of help
will be given to Cuba. Without it she
would be in a deplorable condition.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

There was a smallpox" sensation
in Passaic, N. j., few days ago, be-
cause of the illness of a small child.
Quarantine was at once put on and
vaccination became brisk. Then it de-
veloped that all the matter with the
child was a toothache. and the panic
suhsided
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

Life, says Prof. Loeb is on the cleo
tro-dynamic principle. After a while,
then we shall probably have ehitua-
ries explaining that the late lamented
slipped his trolley" On such and such
a date.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

The French protectorate of Tunis,
according to a cable, will soon issue
a circular inviting the colored people
of the United States to emigrate to
that country. The dispatch says that
1.-TWO acres of land will be offered to
each newcomer who has serious in
tentions of remaining in the protecto-
rate, and who declares his willingness
to advance a proportion of the cost
of his transportation" The offer will
be apt to make American negroes
smile In the South they can buy
two acres of better land than any in
Tunis for $40.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11
The weather.

The indications for Georgia for to-
north and west portions. Eastern Flor
ida, fair weather, with fresh west to
northwest winds.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

Ex-Speaker Reed was seen in Wash
ington the other day with a cigarette
between his lips. The Washingtonians
regard that as a very good illustration
York
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

New York is never behind Kansas,
or any other state, in freak legisla-
ton. A bill has been introduced at
Albany to compel all actors and ac-
tresses to submit to an examination
as to their fitness, and to pay a license
of $40 before appearing on the stage
in that state. Should the bill be
passed no doubt a politician would be
appointed to the office and the censor
of the actors would know less about
the histrionic art than about float
ers" and "heelers." The job would
be fine one for an incumbent ''out
for the stuff" as every applicant with
$40 would secure a license. AS a mat
ter Of fact, the public and the man
ayers are the only inspectors or CEN
sors of actors needed.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

A delegation of colored men called
on Mayor Low of New York a day or
two ago and told him that, inasmuch
as $4,000 of their race had voted for
him, they hoped he would not forget
them when the offices were passed
around. The Mayor promised that he
would not forget that he had received
the votes of a number of black men.
1t isn't likely, however. that Mayor
Low will put negroes into important
offices in New York city. He may
have a few Partnerships or something
of the sort passed their way. but all
of the more desirable places will be
filled with white men. Northern Re-
publicans do not give negroes good
offices, in the North.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-01-11

We noted the other day that a young
woman of Chicago, who had been
Tilted, had sued her tickle lover for
damages at the rate of $S3S.3S 1-3 per
pound for the thirty pounds of flesh
she had lost as a consequence of the
jilting. Well, the case has been de-
cided by jury, which agreed that the
young woman had lost the flesh in
question, and that said loss was in
consequence of the heartless treatment
she had received at the hands of the
young man; but the jury could not ac-
cept the plaintiffs estimate of the
value of the flesh lost. After mature
dehberation the jury decided that $50
per pound would be about the right
price, and awarded her 81. 500 damages.