davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
Hls summon VACATION sne,lea.


81 intended to spend my vacation with
a farmer in the interior of the state"
said a Detroit salesman, according to
the Detroit Free Press, land I engaged
board and got out there all right The
farmer had a passable looking daugh-
ter, and it so happened that on the
first day of my arrival picked straw
berries with fer, went to the orchard
after apples, and escorted her to
neighbours. That first evening we sat
up rather late singing songs and play
ing the melodeon. Next day her father
took me out to the barn and said:
Joel, bein' as you are comm into
the family I'd like to ask you for the
loan of $3.50
"'What do you mean?' 1 asked.
"L-u-v, luv,' he replied, with a
wink at me and nod toward the
house.
Il turned him down as gently as 1
winked me out into the orchard, and
smilingly said
Go right ahead, I shall be proud of
you as a brother-in-law'
But 1 have no thought of it, re-
piled.
mo, of course not he laughed,
but l should like to borrow 500 for
three months. AS I am going to be a
relative you won't want any note of
hand
Il tried not to hurt his feelings
said the salesman, but / think / did.
We had just eaten dinner, and l was
on the Veranda smoking, when a stran-
ger came walking up and said:
I'm Sarah's Uncle Silas. Has, she
spoke to you about me?'
L don't remember
'Mebbe she forgot to, but I'd like to
borrow $500 of you for a year. AS you
are going to marry Sarah it will be all
in the family
Il turned him down and began to
wonder what sort of a box I had got
into. | was in doubt as to whether I'd
better go or stay, when Sarahs mother
decided the case for me. She brought
her sewing and sat down beside me and
said:
You may think Sarah is sort O.
cold and stifish, but don't make a mis-
take. I know she's in love with YOU
and thinks you'll make the incest hus-
band in the world. Don't be afraid to
pop the question when you get ready,
and if you want to give me $50 to buy
clothes with
That was the end" sighed the sales
man. Il fell sick all of a sudden and
got out, and the rest of my vacation
was put in at a farm house where
there were no Sarahs to plot against
my peace of mind and no relatives to
spell love with three letters and take
the remainder out in the long green"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
THE
I
NARROW
PRESIDENTS
ESCAPE.

The country held it's breath a mo-
ment yesterday when the news was re-
ceived over the wires that the Presi-
dent had been in an accident and had
narrowly escaped death 1t was re-
called that when President MCKINLEY
was shot the news was withheld from
wall street until it could be seen
whether it could not be stated that
the shot was not an Immediately fatal
one, so that business might not receive
such shock as would start a panic.
No doubt the announcement of the
death of the President. suddenly made.
would have a very disturbing effect
upon speculative values, and perhaps
upon values of all kinds. Just now
there is a noticeable stringency in
money, and the sudden death of the
President might prove to be very dis
astrous, particularly as the question
has been raised as to the constitution
ality of the law which provides for the
succession. There ought to be no de-
lay in settling that question when Con-
gress meets, and if the law is uncon-
stitutional it should be amended as
quickly as possible.
Fortunately the President escaped
with only scratches and bruises. But
one of the detectives of the party was
killed, and the driver of the carriage
may die from the effects of his in
juries.
II looks if the l1Xyc n In CT
ming trolley cars at breakneck speed
would have to be made more stringent.
There are incapable men in charge of
cars of this kind in pretty nearly all
parts of the country, and the wonder
is that there are not more fatal trolley
car accidents. There is undoubtedly
feeling of deep gratitude that the
President escaped and that there were
not other fatalities
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
She Knew Josh.

Now, madam said the counsel for
the defendant to little, wiry, black
eyed, fidgety woman who had been
summoned as a witness in a case ar
cordlng to TitBits, you will please
give your evidence in as few words as
possible You know the defendant"
Know who?"
The defendant-Mr. Joshua Bagg?"
Josh Bagg? l do know him, and 1
knowed his father before him. and I
don't know nothing to the credit of
either of 'em, and don't think"-
I'VE don't want to know what you
think. madam. Please say yes or mo-
to my questions"
What questions?"
DO you know Mr.. Joshua Bagg?"
Don't I know i'm. though? You ask
Josh Bagg if he knows me. Ask him if
he knows anything bout tryin to
cheat pore wilder like me out of G5.
Ask
Madam, r.
ASK him whose orchard he robbed
last, and why he did it in the night.
Ask his wife. Betsy Bagg. if she knows
anything about slippn into a neigh
boris field and milking three cows on
the sly. Ask
Look here, madam
ASK Josh Bagg about that uncle of
his that died in prison. Ask him about
lettin' his pore old mother die in the
workhouse. Ask Betsv about putting a
big brick into lot of butter she sold
last SPRING
Madam, tell YOU
See if Josh Bagg knows anything
about feeding ten head of cattle on all
the salt they could eat. and then let
ting them swill down all the water
they could hold, just fore he driv them
into town and sold EN-. See what he's
got to say to that"
THAT has nothing to do with the
case. I want you to-
Then there was old Azrael Bagg,
own uncle to Josh, got kicked out of
his native town. and Betsy Bagg's own
brother got ketched in a neighbor's hen
house at midnight Ask JOSH
Madam. what do you know about
this case?"
81 don't know a Twin thing bout it.
but I'm sure, Josh Bagg is guilty.
whatever 1t is. The fact is. I've owed
them Baggses a grudge for the last
fifteen year. and I got meself called up
on purpose to get even with 'em, and
l feel I've done it,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
Aboard The Flagship.

From the Baltimore American.
(The "war" between the Navy and
Army was suspended Sunday after
noon while some members of the -Four
Hundred were given an opportunity to
visit the flagship, under the protection
of Assistant Secretary of War Sangcr).
And this is war? Dear me. How odd.
A lovely view from here!
And is that awful thing gun?
And do you feel no fear?
Upon my soul! How lovely, though!
What are you fighting for?
It's really delghtful-it's
My first close view of war.
Oh, mercy. How you flatter us!
You naval men are bold.
You always capture female hearts
At least. so l am told.
More wine? Well, just trif1e more,
The government is nice
To give you wine when you're at war.
How do you get the ice?
How perfectly adorable!
How sinply. truly grand!
To think that you are fighting for
Your own, your native land!
Oh! What was that? That awful gun?
Dear me! why must you SnOoI
Oh, see the pretty powder clouds,
/ think that war is cute!
That's not what Sherman said it was?
Indeed, and who is he?
The Civil War? But that vas rot
Fought for society.
Yes, ] must go. So sorry, TOO.
Oh, listen to that drum!
Now, when you have another war
l hope you'll let me come.
Josh Wink.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
THE THREE CANDIDATES.

The men who are particularly prom
inent in connection with the Demo-
cratic nosNnation for President in 1904
are ex-senator Hill of New York, ex-
Gov. Pattison of Pennsylvania and
Mayor Tom Johnson of Cleveland.
Chic.
Mr.. Hill is trying to manage the po-
litical situation in New York so that
the Democrats will carry that state
this fall. If he succeeds he will have
the New York delegation at his back
in the Democratic national convention
and in addition he can count upon del
egations from pretty nearly all of the
Eastern states.
Mr.. Pattison is the candidate of the
Democrats for the governorship Of
Pennsylvania. He has been twice
elected chief magistrate of that great
commonwealth. VIII his good luck
stand by him again? There are some
reasons for thinking it will. The Re-
publican candidate has strong opposi-
ton in his own party, because he is
so closely associated with Senator
Quay. 1t is freely predicted that thou
sands of Republican votes will be cast
for Mr.. Pattison. If this should prove
to be the case. and the Democrats
should give him a hearty support, hs
would have a chance to win. 1t is
worthy of notice that the labor ele-
ment is indorsing him. If he should
carry his state it would be argued that
he has elements of popularity that
would make him strong presidential
candidate.
The man who is coming to the front
rapidly, however, is Mr.. johnson. He
has practically captured the Demo-
cratic party of Ohio. He has some
ideas of his own which he is submit
ting to Ohio Democrats and they are
accepting them. He is a strong and an
original character and it is but fair
to admit that he is making a pro-
found impression on his party not only
in his state, but outside of it, He wrote
the platform that was adopted by the
Ohio Democrats in their state conven-
ton yesterday and he dominated the
convention from first to last
His plan is. and it is also the plan
of his friends. to nominate and elect
him Governor next year. His friends
believe that ii he carries Ohio nothing
can keep him from getting the nomi-
nation of his party for President.
Undoubtedly there is much in this
view. The Bryan element of the party
would come nearer supporting him
than any other of the candidates men
ucned, and dt is suspected that Mr..
Johnson is Mr.. Bryan's candidate. AS
Stunning that this is the case. would
not the East and a portion of the
South be against him?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
CURRENT COMMENT.

The New York World Qnd. Dem.)
says "Yet, as matters stand, partic-
ularly in New England and the West.
the President is stronger than the pol
iticians, and the chances in favor of
his nomination are about 10 to l. The
holding back of the Plat machine will
help rather than hurt the lucky Ted
dy.'"
The Philadelphia Record Dem,)
says: For. after all. President Roose-
velt's announcement was travesty
of the Monroe doctrine. and when
President Monroe's pacific pronounce
ment that the European colonies in this
hemisphere should not be disturbed
and that the nations of Latin America
should be permitted to stew in their
own juice is Haunted as a menace and
a challenge TO the world knowing peo-
pie cannot help feeling amused"
The New York Press (Rep.) says: "A
law such as the Fowler bill provides
would put upon the banks the task,
which is clearly theirs. of supplying
currency as it might be needed at any
time for the operations which are en-
tirely within their proper province
the banking business. And the ma
chinery would work automatically ana
smoothly instead of, as now, by tenn
porary arrangement and with fits and
starts, and Jolts and shocks to bust
ness :"
The Springfield Republican Ind.)
says: Grimes OF violence and crimes
OF craft-'both are equally dangerous
and both must be put down. Good
And crimes Of violence are being put
down with "a stern and instant hand
As 10 the crimes OF craft-that seems
10 be another matter, and this. too
in spite OF the fact that the President
himself a. charged with "a RESPONSE
billy for their Suppression in this
particular instance. Iie would be-
known as man ~ action rather than
mao ~ words. There Is need eyi-
IDENTIFY GA bic part ~ a. closer consul
tation iespeefing thls ambltlon.F
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
Personal.

Lord Salisbury is persistent read
er of French novels. At Hatfield, it is
stated in a recent biography, 1.-The
practice has always been observed of
reading all the best French novels,
chiefly with the object of keeping up
an intimate knowledge of conversa-
tional French. 1t once happened that
the late Lord SALISBURY well known
for the almost puritanical strictness Of
his ideas, paid an unexpected call. In
the room in which the good Earl was
to be received a number of French
novels were lying about and there was
something of a scramble to get them
all hidden safely away under sofas
and cushions before his entrance"
The redistricting of Mississippi had
a curious result. Three Democratic
Congressmen-Patr Henry of Vicks-
burg, John Sharp Williams of Yazoo
and Charles Edward Hooker of Jack
son-suddenly found themselves in the
same district. All three wanted to go
back to the House; only one could.
Williams has won out in the primary,
and remains in Congress. Williams
canvass is spoken of as one Of the
greatest ever seen in Mississippi. The
last day of it found him in his shirt
sleeves, in q reputedly hostile ward OF
Jackson, speaking alternately in Eng
lish, German and French His own
county went for him solidly, and he
made surprising inroads in the coun-
ties of his competitors He is not only
a. gentleman, but a scholarly gentle
man-with the University of Virginia
stamp upon him, and, superimposed on
that, the Heidelberg stamp.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
THE MORNING NEWS is publisbet

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every Cay in the year, and served 20
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail,
at 20 cents a month. $500 Cor six
month, and $500 for ore Year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
times a week (without Sunday issue).
three months, sL50; six months. $500;
one year. $500
fHE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week CMonGay and Thursday, by mail.
one year, s1.O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance
Remit by money order. check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column. local or reading mo-
tees, amussments and cheap or want
column. ~ cents line. Fourteen lines
of agate Vype-equal to one inch in
Depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 21O Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be adj
dressed "MoRNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. c. Faulkner, Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

A new method of eliminating the
eternal feminine from competition has
received the approval of the goldbeat-
ers of New York. They have been on
a strike for higher wages and the dis
a compromise. They have now con-
Guided to employ moral suasion in get
ting the women out and a feature of
the programme provides that when
one of the girls loses her job the best
looking young man in the shop must
marry her. Though the plan is more
gallant than feasible it deserves sue
cess.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

THE COTTON REPORT,

The prospect of a fair-sized cotton
crop, judging from the report of the
condition of the crop issued by the
government yesterday is far from be-
ing good. This report justifies the con-
clusion that the crop will not be near
ly so large as estimated by the Com
missioners of Agriculture of the cotton
states, at their meeting in Nashville
last week.
Probably the most surprising fea-
ture of the report is that which refers
to the condition of the crop in Texas.
The impression has been that Texas
this year would produce a much larger
crop than last year. The report indi-
Gates a smaller crop The average is
the lowest ever reported for the state.
The effect of the report ought to be
to cause an advance-a very consid-
cradle one-in the price of cotton. If
there is not a substantial advance it
viii be because there is not the most
implicit confidence in the governments
report.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

The silly story that some saffron
journalist placed in circulation, hav-
ing reference to Miss Clara Barton,
president of the International Red
Cross Society, and Gear Nicholas of
Russia, has been promptly denied by
that good woman. The story was to
the effect that when she attempted to
kiss the Cars hand, upon her pre-
sentation, he had prevented it. Miss
Barton says she does not believe the
custom Of a woman kissing a mans
hand prevails in any civilized country
on earth, and that no incident resem-
bling or recalling it occurred when she
was presented to the Gar of Russia.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

A day or two since. for the usual
crime" or rather an attempt to CON-
nit IL, a negro was lynched in Sparta.
III. About the same time an armed
guard of twenty-five men, in Bridge
ten, N. j., was preventing a mob
from lynehing Job Williams, who was
charged with burning barn in which
man and woman were cremated.
From all accounts the services of the
guard were badly needed. For fear
they may overlook two valuable texts
on the subject of lynching these Incl
dents are respectfully referred to The
editors Of the New York rress and
Tribune and the Philadelphia In
Quirer.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

The Grand Duke Boris of Russia IS
creating a social sensation at Newport,
that summer abode OF the American
socially elect. His Royal Highnsss
seems to be not without social accom-
plishments. for on Sunday evening last
he danced a saraband for the edihca-
ton Of the dinner guests Of Mrs, Og-
den Goelet. Judging from The Grand
Dukes wine and slipper performance
in Chicago we had rather reached the
conclusion he was out Of place On this
country. but 81 Newport. whore they
hnd - possible ~ tolerate Harry Lehr
aud an onrang-outaug az single func.
tion. be enjoys entirely oongenial sur
ss9neingn apa must feel AZ home.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

Alas, for the credulity of poor human
nature A young Napoleon of finance
who started bank in Einora, Ind, has
disappeared and with him deposits
amounting to about $4,000. The town
was anxious to have a bank, and it
got one, but, as its enterprising young
president had reaped about all the
profits in sight, he probably decided
to give some other place the benefit
of his talents.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
The Weather.

The Indications for Georgia to-day
showers in east and south portions,
cooler in east portions, variable winds
and for Eastern Florida partly cloudy
weather. with OCCASIONAL showers, light
east winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04
Reflections of a Bachelor.
From the New York Press.

The more voice a man puts into an
argument the less logic he puts there.
A woman goes and gets her fortune
told so as not to be discouraged when
Ii doesn't come true.
The more vacant space there is in a
woman's stocking the surer she is to
keep people from finding 1t out.
A boy with head enough to amount
to anything IN the world can't help
wondering how he is going to do IL
when everybody tells him how much
like his father he is.
IL is just az the time when "A man
is buried in figures be has brought
home 10 stFaighten out that his wife
wants 10 know n IL would interrupt
him 10 go out Ia the yard and help
hunt for the bnby's rattle.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

Three hundred Chicago coal dealers
are to combine, 1t is stated. under a
single management. Consumers, of
course. are promised the usual advan-
tage of economy in the conduct of the
business and the purchase of coal in
large quantities" They will probably
get the advantage of relief from wor-
rying over the selection Of coal deal
er, but scarcely any that can be meas
ured I'm dollars and cents.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

The Democratic and Union party
leaders In Philadelphia are engaged
IN an effort TO cleanse the politics OF
the Quaker city. Friends Of good
government the country over viii wish
them God-speed, but they must real
ize mournfully, that they have un-
dertaksn d task beside which that ~
Hercules. when he attacked the Augean
stables. viii seem the IDLE labor Of a
midsummsr's Dag.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

The Lunatic Herald, published by
one of the guild, is the latest example
of freak journalism. OF this interest
ing sheet. Gen. A. B. Leeper, of
Owaneco, ILL.,, who describes himself as
the possessor of 1.-THE best record as a
first-class lunatic of any man in the
state or nation" is the editor and pro-
prietor. One of the protests the Herald
is making is. against the current as
sumption that it is "a disgrace to have
gone crazy" "A fool" says the editor,
sagely never goes crazy or gets bald
headed"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

Helpless How many servants DO
you keep aslEs the nrst matron.
Il didn't keep twenty-five last year"
eonfesses the worried bQusekeepef.~
Baltimore American
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

fered. even if they have had some idea
of calling the strike off. Senator Platt
doubtless had a motive in stating just
what he did in regard to the early
ending Of the strike. but it has not
yet appeared what that motive was.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-09-04

Gov. Gambler has abjured the state
ment so industriously imputed TO him
that Poor Richards Almanac was
book of superior excellence to the BIZ
BILE. What he actually said, according
to the Governor, was that The Bible,
tanned practically all the wisdom of
the world; he especially and carefully
RETAINED from any opinion as 10 the
literary primacy of any one Of them.
1t is encouraging at any rate, to learn
how very little, relatively, it is really
necessary for a man to read. II he
can acquire the wisdom Of the world
by blowing through a single library
shelf he ought to feel grateful for the
literary mentor who has given the tip.
The Billings gazette., 1902-04-18
FiLiPlNos IN DETENTION CAMPS
ALLOWED TO DEPART.
Gen. MAlvAR SURRENDERS
Will Return to Their Homes Well
Pleased and in Time to
Plant Crops.

tN
Manila, April 16:-General Malvar
has Internationally surrendered to
Brigadier General Bell, at Lipa, Ba-
tangas province, with the entire insur-
gent provinces of Laguna and Batan-
gas.
Malvar has ordered the complete
surrender of every insrugent to the
nearest American force
General Wheaton, reporting to the
division headquarters, says that all
resistance in his department has end
ed and that the surrenders just an
nounced mean that the ports will be
opened and that the Filipinos in the
detention camps will be allowed to
return to their homes in time to plant
their crops.
After securing the mountain passes
General Bell employed volunteer bolo-
men for protection against ladronism
Numbers of Filipinos volunteered and
expressed the liveliest satisfaction at
the treatment accorded to themselves
and to their families who were in the
concentration camps.
The Billings gazette., 1902-04-18
RESIDENT OSTEOPATnIC PHYSICIAN
BRINGS PLEASANT THOUGHTS.
X-RAY EXAMINATIONS
Rooms ~ and 18 Gruwell Building
Day Phone 131. Night Phone 173

Man Who Likes Reminders Of. the
Old Days.
From Thursdays Daily Gazette.
"The return Of Calamity Jane re-
minds me Of the early days of the
country, when the NortLerE Pacific
was just beginning to tap the Vel
lowstone and the stage coach and
bull team were our only means of
transportation" said a well-known
business man Of the city this morn
ing, referring to the appearance ON
the streets of that veritable old-timer
and heroine of several writer's of yell
low-backed books.
I'm the language of the late Thomas
Flanagan, also a character in his day.
continued the gentleman, !" those
We're the palmy days of the Yellow.
stone country For my part like to
see face occasionally Of those who
We're among the ealy trailblazers Of
the region we now occupy ard call
civilized, for 1t will not be very long
when all these direlicts of the early
days will have answered the summons
of the roundup on the shore beyond"