davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
RaIlying RAPIDLY.

Surgeon after opera tion)-'I am
glad to be able to assure you, Mrs.
TytePhist. that the danger is now
over and your husband will recover.
We have successfully removed the ap-
pendix vermiformis, and it is of such
unique formation that L shall pre-
serve it for use in my medical lee
lures
Mr.. Tyte-Phist (opening his eyes)-
You'll allow me something for it.
I suppose, doctor?' -Chicago Tribune
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD By THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

LIES Economic Delusions-Econ0my-A
Natural Thought-Not . Matter OF
Blood - Cupid Utilized "A Life Long
Treasure-ReaI, Genuine Toll, Etc.
Buying apples by the barrel is one
Way man peace Is wrecked;-
First he picks and eats the specked ones;
BY that time the rest are specked
Puck
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

''The pen is mightier than the
sword" quoted the man who clings to
proverbs.
My dear sir" rejoined the modern
list. lit is no longer Il question of pens
and swords. The debate now is as to
whether the typesetting machine is
mightier than the maxim gun
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Her Comm emf .

"Fame." said the youth with the
earnest intellectual expression. lis SO
hard to attain, 1t is so difficult for
one to get himself talked about
"Humph"' rejoned the woman with
cold blue eyes and firm jaw. You
just ought to live in our neighbor
hood
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

81 understand that one of your an
cestors was Il horse thief" said Bill
ings to Ricketts,.
He was. Glad you mentioned it.
regard that as Il compliment"
"How's that
1T is an acknowledgements that I
have improved on my ancestors
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

Ascum-"It seems strange that you
and Popleigh should be such good
friends. and yet neicher his wife nor
any of her relatives ever have u good
word for you.
TeiIer-"No. they simply hate me.
You see Popleigh insisted on naming
his first born after me-
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Still at 1t.

''Oh, stop! stop" cried Wiliie's papa.
Haven't l told you not to ask foolish
questions? Everything L say to you
goes in one ear and out the other"
Pa said Willie, several Ininures
later, IF you was to plug up the other
ear what you say TO me would have
to turn around and come out where Is
went in, wouldn't it"'-Philadelphia
Press.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

"Was / misinformed," said the young
man with the sharp voice, 'or did you
say that my singing left nothing to
be desired?''
Il probably said it" answered Miss
Cayenne. There are occasions, you
know. when an absolute inertia is
luxury. L may say that your singing
left nothing very much to be desired
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
A Nautical Term i.

MI Gada bout felt Il trife uneasy
on shiphoard during the first voyage
abroad, especially until l got my sea
legs.
Miss Emptyhedde-"O. l see. After
that you walked ON four feet"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Longing For companionship.

"Why do you insist on prosecuting
that literary man. inquired the intim-
ate friend.
Because" answered the czar, Il get
lonely once in u while and want to feel
that there is somebody else just as
scared and uncomfortab BILE as l am"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
A Daring ClasSifer.

81 don't know whether to reprimand
that new man or raise his salary
said the editor. thoughtfully.
What is he doingI'
He insists on putting the weather
reports under the heading Freaks and
FancieS.'
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

Automobile-'We are vastly superior
to you horses
Horse-"Oh, L don't know; when we
roll over we get up all right-when
you roll over you have to send for a
plumber"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

that can be performed by one quick
and alert man. It is the quick and
alert type Of man that has the least
to fear from this pushing, dominating
and successful railroad president
Earl d. Berry. in Ainslee's.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Real, Genuine Toll.

what is manual labor. pa
"Well. sonny, fair sample of it is
the way your dear mother works TO
get you up in the morning and to get
you to so TO bed at night"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
/. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

"a The SUMS heat raises from the earth
thirty-seven million tons of water a
minute. To do the same work
artificially. cube of coal two hundred
miles deep, high and wide would have
to be burnt every second.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

Aluminium for kitchen utensils and
the like has the great objection that
it blackens the hands, like lead. A
way has now been found to plate
aluminium with silver. copper and 9th
er. metals commonly used for the pur-
pose. and it is believed that this will
greatly enlarge its usefulness: But
aluminium soldiers with great difficulty
and this is u great dra wback.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
A Lifelong Treasure.

"Ciara. that is hideous vase"
Eyes. it is; it was one of our bridal
Dresenrs-but we never have any luck
at getting ugly things broken when we
move"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Not = Matter of Blood.

"Don't you think a man has to be
we'll born to have repose of manner
No; being born lazy will do just as
we'll"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Cupid Utilized.

'Would you publish a mans love
letters to you. Miss Skinner"
We'll. I'm thinking this very minute
of getting out composite volume"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
A Natural Thought.

BrigSs-"GilsOn tells us he has made
lot of money in Wall street.
GriggS-"How much has he lost:"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Economy.

"Why do you always cut knots2"
because time is more valuable than
string"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

The Agricultural Department is
much interested in developing in the
United States the preservation of fruit
i'll Il new form. namely. in compressed
bricks. done up in oiled paper or the
like to keep them from drying out.
The Australians have begun to excel
i'll their fruit-pulp preserves of various
kinds and it is believed that in Cali
fornia especially II vast industry
along this line can be developed The
French are also experimenting with
fruit preserves in the brick form This
form has certain advantages over the
liquid preserves as it gets rid of the
expense and weight of the glass or tin
package. The purpose is to make the
brick preserves taste like fresh fruit,
and while complete success has not
yet been attained it is believed that
the difficulties can all be overcome.
England makes 100000 tons of jam a
year and American fruit men believe
that the United States where fruit is
so much cheaper. should develop q
much larger outlet Tor its fruit pro-
ducts than it now has.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06
Tts Snugs|eFs Gave.
BY Miss Elizabeth Robertson.

TX J OF must moi thinl, OF e!s-
" plOriu- he cave white the
high ,iucS last, said Ger
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

Magnalium, n new alloy of alumni
UNI and magnesium. is being used to
Il great extent by foreign automobile
manufacturers. 1t has all the firm
ness. uenacity and light weight of al
minimum, and none of it's bad quail
ties: it can be worked with file. lathe
and planning machine; it is vrey plia-
BILE and makes an excellent solder. be-
sides which it is absolutely weather
proof and does not rust
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

Mr.. Arctowski. the geologist of the
Antarctic expedition in the steamer
Belgica. calls attention to the differ
ence in the distribution of ice around
the two poles of the earth. The
floating ice of the north. he says
comes down through valleys until
they reach the water, bur the glacial
caps themselves do not meet the sea.
At the south, on the contrary. perperu-
nj snow is encountered at the sixty
fifth degree of latitude and il is prob
able that the floating ice of the An
tartic originates from Il layer covering
the whole polar crown.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-06

THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD By THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
Life's Economic Delusions-EconOmy-A
Natural Thought-Not = Matter OF
Blood - Cupid Utilized Lifelong
Treasure-ReaI, Genuine Toll, Etc.
Buying apples by the barrel is one
Way man peace Is wrecked
First he picks and eats the specked ones;
BY that time the rest are specked.
Puck.
Economy.
"Why do you always cut knots?"
because time is more valuable than
string"
Natural Thought.
Briggs-"Gilson tells us he has made
a lot of money in Wall street
GriggS-"How much has he lOSt:"
Not y Matter of Blood
"Don't you think man has to be
wen DOEu 10 nav EepOsC VI ihhhSi
No; being born lazy will do just as,
WE'LL
Cupid Utilized.
"Would you publish mans love
letters to you. Miss SKINNER
We'll. I'm thinking this very minute
of getting out composite volume"
A Lifelong Treasure.
"Ciarn. that is Il hideous vase"
Eyes, it is: it was one of our bridal
presenrs-but we never have any luck
at getting ugly things broken when we
move"
Real, Genuine Toll.
"What is manual labor. pa"
well sonny. II fair sample of it is
the way your dear mother works TO
get you up in the morning and to get
you to so TO bed at night"
Still Ahead.
AutOmobile-"We are vastly superior
to you horses
. Horse-"Oh, L don't know; when we
roll over we get up all right-wheu
you roll over you have to send for a
plumber"
A Nautical Term.
Mr.. Gadabou1-.'I felt trihe uneasy
on shiphoard during the first voyage
abroad, especially until, l got my sea
legs
Miss Emptyhedde--"O 1 see. After
that you walked ON four feet
A Daring ClasSiher-
81 don't know whether to reprimand
that new man or raise his salary
said the editor. thoughtfully.
What is he dOing?'
HE insists on putting the weather
reports under the heading Freaks and
FancieS.
Longing For Coni,anionsi,ip.
"Why do you insist on prosecuting
that literary man." inquired the intim-
ate friend.
Because answered the car, Il get
lonely once in u while and want to feel
that there is somebody else just as
scared and uncomfortable as / am"
Her Comment.
Fame said the youth with the
earnest intellectual expression. lis SO
nard TO attain! 1t is so ulhcult Tor
one to get himself talked about"
"Humph"' rejoined the woman with
cold blue eyes and u firm jaw. You
just ought to live i'll our neighbor-
hood"
Ostracised.
AScum-"It seems strange that you
and Popleigh should be such good
friends, and yet neither his wife nor
any of her relatives ever have good
word for you.
Teilcr-"No. they simply hate me.
You see Popleigh insisted on naming
his first born after me"
A Compliment.
81 understand that one of your an
cestors was Il horse thief" said Bill
ings to Ricketts,.
He was. Glad you mentioned it.
regard that as a compliment"
"How's that
have improved on my ancestors
Brought Down to the Present
'"Fhe pen is mightier than the
sword" quoted the man who olings to
proverbs.
My dear sir rejoined the modern
ist. lit is no longer Il question of pens
and swords. The debate now is as to
whether the typeSetting machine is
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
a Lige Mnsenm of Drag.

A Rue de la Pai;l magnate is think
ing of opening q sort Of live museum
OF dresses, says the London Telegraph.
In galleries. TO which a few privileged
visitors would be admitted By special
invitation the cOuturier's latest crea-
tons would be exhibited on the persons
Of numerous staff Of "mannequins. -
The latter. Of course, the young ladies
who usually show off dresses before
customers. The couturier explains that
specially large staff, providing II
complete assortment of figures" will
be required for the purpose That is
10 say, il would include a slim jBut
eyell-deyeloped ''mannequn' for cos
tunes de sport" another with shoul-
ders suitable for setting off ball
dresses, a third familiar with the
special stage walk and department and
so on. The expert Giving dummy" is
the envy of ordinary shop girls, as
she gets on an average $40 Il week,
her board-that is to say, luncheon
and dlnner-and four dresses a year.
made in the establishment in which
she is employed.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

window upstairs to see what "honest
LITTLE Dick" would do,
The cook was a long time coming
back to dress the fish; and all the while
Dick kept watch-now on the pail,
now on the kitchen door At last he
went somewhat nearer to the pail.
then nearer, then nearer All frost
fish smell so good. Dicks little nose
almost touched them! And then he
sat down and cried at the top Of his
voice for cook to return quickly and
save him from becoming a thief.
Sull She did not come. At last Dick
put his fore paws on the edge of the
pail Then he looked at the Kitchen
door and cTted again But the door
did not open. SO sieWly, softly, paw
reached down into the pail. But be-
fore it had gone down as far~9s the
fish, it came back with a jerk empty.
and its owner ran around the corner or
the house where he could not see or
smell those nice frost fish any more.
He did not want TO be a thief: and we
believe that the little fellow never
came 50 near it again. Little Folks
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

such change has taken place, the rea-
son is either because the rim Of the
glass was not entirely dry or because
the cardboard does not completely
cover its surface. and. therefore, be-
fore beginning the experiment atten-
ton should be paid to these two points.
You may next place on ii Il small
cork, intended as Il seat for little
frog, that you can easily cut out Of the
paper After few minutes the card
board will become depressed as the
result of moisture, and this quick
transformation will cause it to expand
so greatly that the frog and cork will
be sent flying into the air.
This simple trick is becoming a
favorite in many homes, and never
fails to evoke good deal of laughter
New York Herald.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
60 Eeverse ,vav Of the rrack.

To avoid danger of accidents the very
sensible suggestion has been made
that automobiles should race on the
track with the right hand on the pole
instead of the left, as is usual in other
lines Of sport. Louis K. Smith, of this
city, who offers the plan, truly says
that on almost all the racing machines
the seats for the drivers are on the
right hand side, and that in driving
70 the left on track. as is the custom.
the operator in passing a machine on
the outside has to look clear across the
body of his %ehicie in order to figure
out his clearance room.
The same applies when an operator
is travelling around a track aloiit.
Seated on the right-hand side of the
car, he must necessarily guess how
close his front wheels are to the pole.
The construction of the automobiles
will hardly permit OF a shoft in the
seat or steering gear and for that
reason the suggestion is a timely
one.-Philadelphia Record.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
XerotnbIrs Mhlitlo.i

If the reader ever amused himself
by constructing a turuip lantern he
must have observed how readily the
vegetables yielded TO his knife. Tul-
nips, carrots and apples are capital
things for the youthful sculptor to
exercise his skill upon, and with pa
thence he may succeed in turning out
some very interesting objects.
We have seen bouquet Of imlta-
ton flowers, formed Of carrots, bcets
and turnips, that presented a most
natural appearance A chrysantne-
mum may be carved out OF a carrot a
camellia out Of small white turnip.
and damask rose out OF beet. Other
natural objects may be initiated in
carved fruits and vegetables by an
ingenious lad, and If he has taste
for the grotesque he may try his plas-
tic skill on caricatures of his friends.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
Honest Little Dlo1,

In all my life | never saw so honest
a little eat as our Dick. He not only
never stole himself, but he would not
allow any other cat to steal if he could
help it. The dear little fellow, how
ever, was strongly tempted once, and
came very near to losing his good
name.
One day the cook carried out a pail
of nice little frost fish, and set 1t
down in the yard. Dick was there.
Dick always was near by when there
We're good things to eat The cook
went back into the house, and Dick
sat down to wait for her return; and
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

and a pair of scissors. Fold the paper
and cut the shape Of the butterflies, as
shown in the circle Of our illustration.
Fasten the butterflies to a long hair
with the help of a diminutive piece of
wax. Tie this hair to another which is
fastened to your head likewise with
wax, as shown in the illustration.
Throw the butterflies in the air with
the left hand and move your fan un-
derneath them to keep them in the air.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

To make the dandelion juggler stick n
short piece of straw through a pea,
then place the pea on the end of dan
delion stem aud blow; it win dance
about in the air without falling away
from the stem.
To make red rover get a good
sized cork and stick through it sharp
horseshoe nail and place three feathers
in the top. Throw it by grasping the
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

''Dey oughter pass a law" said Hum
CRY Higgins, nursing his leg, ''ter COM
pei people ter call DER dogs by appro-
pirate names"
whats de matter now?" inquired
Dusty Rhoads.
why, woman down de road said
if | didn't get out o. her yard she'd
call 'Fido.' O. course l LATED. Den
she called Fido and Fido didn't do a
ting. He was big brlndle BULL
Philadelphia Press.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

Nj then reached a heavy iron wrench
and threw it at the beast with all my
strength. 1t struck him upon the head
but heNs3id not stir l was startled
Climbing~t0 the fancied security OF the
top of the cab poked him with Il long
handled rod, but could see no sign Of
life
AFTER a closeSVatch l descencd to
the floor of the caSNnd opened the fur
mace door to have more light, The ia
guar was dead There was hole
through his head caused by the lucky
shot from my Winchester. He had
walked to the tender in a daze and
died there.
Il blew the whistle vigorously. It
was a welcome sound to the traii&nen.
The brakes We're speedily reled%ed
The fireman came SCrambling back: /
opened the throttle and slowly the train
went up the incline toward Porto Cor
teZ.
AT little after 10 o'clock chat night
the whistling of No. Is approaching
with her load of bananas summoned
the crew of the BreakwateS. whose
captain congratulated the officials Of
the Honduras Railroad on the remark
able expedition of their fruit service.
But when he saw the nine feet of ja-
guar stretched out in my tender and
heard the story OF the difficulties Of the
run, he remarked that the railroad off
cials should pass vote of thanks to
me upon the success of the record trip
of the road. Youths Companion.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
SCIENTIFIC Exnctltnds.

"And the voltaic current" continued
the lecturer was the discovery of
Volta, and its development is com
paratively recent achievement of sci
ence."
A still. small individual hoisted him
self to a chair in the rear of the
hall
Hold on there, Professor! What
about the earlier discoveries of Noah?v
Il don't understand you. sir
Then brush up! Didn't Noah make
the ark light on Mount Ararat Bal
tinaEe News. ----4--..---..
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

When all that is worldly turns to
dross around us, books only retain
their steady value When friends grow
cold, and the converse of intimates
languishes into vapid civillty and COM
monplace, these only continue the I'M
altered countenance of happier days
and cheer lis wit hthat true friendship
which never deceived hope nor desert
ed sorrow.-Washington Irving, Sketch
Book.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

DO you think there is any prospect
of inventing a flying machine that will
be commercially useful?
Certainly" answered the aeronaut.
Il have one which is bound to make
money All You have to do is to get
people to pay for the privilege of seeing
it go up"
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
Tho Kntternies.

Two butterflies Gus out of tissue
paper fly about as if alive, set in mo-
~tion by a fan. They light on the fan,
play IN the air descend on a hower-in
short, initiate real butterflies to per-
lection All that is needed to make
such butterflies is col0rea tissue paper
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

81 hope that people will say the
world is a little better because lived
in it" said the intensely serious young
man.
well" answered the cold-blooded
politician, 1.-THE best way to arrange
chat is to employ somebody to write
your biography now, so that you can
overlook the transaction"
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
Trick of the Jumping Frog.

Here is a new and amusing expert
ment which any one can try, rs the
only materials required are a tumbler,
a cork, some cardboard and small
piece of paper.
If you place some cardboard over a
glass filed with water you will notice
after a little time that it has become
raised, especially in the middle. If no
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05
An Esqulmaux Arror.

An Esquimau arrow of walrus ivory,
found imbedded in the breast OF a
healthy Canadian gray goose shot near
Spokane, is on view in store in that
city, No arrow Of that sort was ever
seen in Spokane before. The bird had
evidently carried it thousands upon
thousands of miles from the Far North,
where it was shot by some Esqnimau.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

No book is worth anything which is
not worth much; nor is it serviceable
until il has been read and re-rcad, and
loved and loved again, and marked so
that you can refer TO the passages you
want in it. as 4 soldier can seize the
weapon he needs in an armory- Rus
kin, OF Kings Treasures.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

1t is chiefly through books that we
enjoy intercourse with superior minds
and these invaluable means of com
munication are in the reach Of all. In
the best books great men talk to us,
give US their most precious thoughts
and pour their souls into ours.-Chan-
ming, on Sclf-Culture.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

''And so you have little baby at
your house. Is it Il boy or girl?"
asked a neighbor.
Mamma thinks it's boy, but be-
lieve it'll turn out n girl. It's always
crying about nothing" answered the
little boy Bits.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

have ever gained the most profit,
and the most pleasure also. from the
books which have made me think the
most; and, when the difficulties have
once been overcome, these are the
books which have struck the deepest
root, not only IN my memory and I'M
derstanding, but likewise in my affec-
tions.-Hare, Guesses Mt Truth.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1901-1903, 1902-10-05

Society is strong solution of books
1t draws the virtue out of what is best
worth reading, as hot water draws the
strength out of tea leaves.-Holmes,
'Autocrat of the Breakfast Table"