The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-08-24
FUN OF THE WORLD.


An inQuisitive woman once asked Professor Andre.
his Inflated balloon trip: How will you
yon really crossed the north pole. pro-
fessors~ oh that viii be simple enough. madame"
Piled Andre with his well known dry huror; "A
wind viii become a south one
Two brothers in Paris remarkably alike \ gen
tlsnan. meeting the boulevard. stops
Inn. saying Pardon but is il brother
I have the homer Of speaking Sir" the
reply. YOU are speaking to my brother"
The nsuring OF ones 5 things which
one apt o be put There few. however. who
postpone ought be the inevitable until late
period in life did the tough old snack-owner OF
Grinsby. he presented himself the insurance
office was naturally asked his age. His reply
''Ninetyfour. Why. my good cannot insure
you" said the company. Why mott" he demanded.
WHY, you ninety-four years OF age What OF
that" statistics and they
wiz tell that fewer die at ninetyfour than at
any other age"
On one afternoon of winsOws departure for Denver
he was paying his BILL when he called Willie. hanging
fascnatngy
4 want YOU" he said slowly giaring into the boys
TO go up stairs and II left toothbrush
and comb my Toothbrush and comb. toothbrush.
toothbrush. toothbrush. Don't forget what boy,
and hurry too. Got to set my train"
''N-no. sir-r; yves. sir" chartered Willie
winslow hung about impatiently, watching the clock
like hawk. Only minutes TO spare. Just he
caught up his bag depart. Willie dead
lofty mission well performed.
Yes sir he cried eagerly, you left en-"
winslow sazed his empty-handed emssary. His
lips moved but words forth. Then. with
inartiSlate snarl he stepped into waiting carriage.
The following paraerarh IS from Korean newspaper.
published English: Seoul Korea. May q lSOe-LateIy
the police headquarters ordered forbid the
the horses tasty the big streets they
sometimes pressed the children down and huTted them
on ground the police stopped a mapoo running
horse hard v lie brck hut a her Of
along quickly and captured the police away
< <
When Dion Boucicault playing The Vampire
al the Princess theatre in London the opening scene
represented highest regions the Alps by
light while thunderstorm ragged in the distance. One
night in the height Of the tremendous clap
OF thunder startled the audience. and interrupted Mr.
Boucicauit the middle OF a speech. Lowering his
that could be heard only by the property
he said Very we'll Mr.. Davids. making more
mistakes. That clap Of thunder came In the wrong
place" Mr. replied stentorian tones. which
could be plainly heard the auditorium NO fault
OF mine. sir; it wasn't thunder Thunders real out
Of doors; perhaps stop it there
Justice Giegerich Of the Supreme Court has a
fine home Staten Island is fond OF san
ing and days ne invited a friend Of his a
lawyer TO go bay with him. At the the
wind quite brisk but freshened into gale
the little craft they in to toss and roll
in manner that soon caused the lawyers features
twist into expressive contortons
Gieserich. noticing his friends plight laid
soothing the latter's shoulders and said;
My dear fellow. do anything for YOU
Yes, your honor" replied the lawyer in plaintive
tones you will greatly oblge by overriding this
notion
EEg
Dr. Herbert Spencer tells the following story OF
his attempt Christian Scientist;
Every this scientist took occasion 70
scon medical science and to dwell upon the wonders
which performed through faith. You
WINGED that through faith DO anything7 said
him day.
Yes. he replied, faith mountains
"A week later he in Office with swollen
jaw due to toothache. What. you here" exclaimed
with feigned sstonishment
oh. doctor. he said, suffered agony al
through the night simply can't stand this pain any
Have you tried faithg asked him. You know you
told the other day that faith could noun
tains"
But this IS a cavity. doctor: this is cavity
x *
connection with the question Of the extent Of
Dumas indebtedness hts colsborators the following
anecdote is told Dumas. is said approached
in for inscouacy IN or his works
His I read the book. let me see
It me? All / remember i the
little Augusta Maquet. I and box his ears
aa
In volume The kiss and It's History. DIT Christie
pher Nyrop University OF Copenhagen. relates
that in England in 1881 Thomas saveand brought
action against Miss Caroline Newton who had bitten
piece his for having tried 10 kiss her ~
way Of Joke The defendant acquitted and the
judge laid II down that 'whcn a man Kisses woman
against VIII fully entitled 20 bite his nose.
II she pieascs And eat W she has fancy that
way" added the jocular tarrister hair aloud.
when william f. Chandler Secretary ~ the Navy
he issued officers should not permit their
wives foreign stations to which their hos
bands we're order promptly fescinfsd
uron receipt Secretary OF the following from
Commodore FIFE IN command % the As!atic squadron;
1t my painful duty 70 report thar M Sife
Eliza Fyne has IN disobeaisncs OF ny orders and N
the face OF regulations the department taken her
the station. and pcrsistsniy refuses 70
leave"