The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1902-08-31
A Dash Into Publicity
Men Whom You Meet
BY a Variety of


class unto nlmSelI, ana the SAD tnlnS is
he IS on the increase.
Another species of the vertebrate fam
lily who seegs a peculiar notoriety is the
hand squeezer, or
THE MAN WHO the flesh masher,
SQUEEZES TILL rather. With him
THE TEARS COME. l am endeavoring
to limit my ac-
quaintance to that of nodding greeting.
When i see him coming | put my hands
in my pockets. and fear he will pull
them out. He is warm and ELUSIVE in
his greeting, and when you unwttingly
put your hand in his then the fun of the
day begins. He sees your face get red
and he bears down harder. He is a man
VINO needs suppression, and a friend of
mine laid for him the other day. He
had been through the process till he had
GrowE callous as to the results of his
carefully planned defense. He walked
down the streets with light cane in his
left hand and met the hand press. He
shook with him and as the hydraulic
imitation reached its climax of agony he
brought his cane sharply across the COM
pressing knuckles. He had won, for with
a sheepsh grin the other said; II sup
posed l got what l deserved. l know
he did.
But of all men of the sui generis class
is the man who insists on boring you
with conversa-
THE MAN WHO ton when you
BORES YOU WITH try to break
HANDS AND STORIES. away to get to
important bust
ness, or save yourself from the fate of
cold dinner, or the fragments of a cold
dinner if you are a boarder. He catches
you by the arm as you back away. He
hangs onito the top button of your coat
as you strive to depart and he pours out
a stream of words that fall with I'M
meaning sound on your ears. He may
even try you to desperation by repeating
for the seventh time his never failing
anecdote, which perhaps you originated.
the class is a common one. and its
habitant seems to be on every corner and
in the middle of every block. At all
times you shudder when he approaches,
but If it is in summer and you are wear
ing freshly laundried white duck and
know that perspiring hands are to be
clamped upon your shoulders your des
peration prevails and you turn and fee
or escape in safety down a side street.
On who at no times permits himself
to be unnoticed when there's any sort
of publicity to
THE MAN WHO be obtained is
KNOWS 1T ALL the man who
WITHOUT EFFORT. konws it all.
He is a fami
liar figure at every turn whether it be
at the freside or on the street curb,
and he is just as hard to head off as
runaway automobile. He can give his
wife points on the fashions, and as for
running every other business except his
own he is huge success, if you let him
do the scoring. He knows the market
better than the operator, can run a hotel
better than the proprietor, can settle the
points of a ball game outside OF
the rule book is a wonder on electricity,
which he knows nothing of, settles gov
ornamental policies off hand, and can run
a newspaper better than the man who
spends days and nights trying to find out
how to do it successfully and then misses
connection.
sidered in talking of those who dash into
publicity. He
THE MAN WHO is the curl
THINKS HE rs THE ed darling
HEART SMASHER. who thinks
that every
woman he sees is certain to fall in love
with him and he is in evidence wher- /
ever there is a gathering of the femme
gender. He is the domesticated tabby
who is ready to purr at the slightest OPP j
portunity and he balances his attractions
by parting his hair in the middle. He
affects the ultra in dress and is always I
doing the "Alphonse and CASTOR of be- |
ing overburdening with his excessive !
politeness. He trips along with dainty
step and is just too awfully nice to be
thought of except as an exotic of most |
dazzling colors. He thinks that the So
cial machinery would be all out of gear
if he was not on hand to regulate, and !
as he grows older and gray hairs or thin
locks threaten his hold on society he
prolongs it by the druggists aid and
deems it death when his sceptre has de-
parted.
Crowdng one on the heels of the other
come men who do all sorts of things to
keep this old world
THE MEN WHO from being too
DO FUNNY THINGS serious and going
HAVE A MISSION. into a deep doze
from ennui. They
ire perhaps needed as frightful examples
Of what ought not to be, just as the tenn
'erance lecturer needs his platform ex-
libit of the terrors of drink. 1t takes
Ill kinds of men to make up a world and
he man who fell in love with his mother
n-law has his sphere to fill in the great
of the universe. Just as you
md | think we are filling ours. ut is
ust matter of the majority" said
razy man at one time, 1.-The people who
all themselves sane are in the majority
md put US in the asylums. If the crazy
eople were in the majority they would
ock up those who think they are sane
Some women make the mistake Of
fnlzi y1or hot