davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
BRIGHT BITS.

-"she ran away with her fathers
coachman."
"Oh, we'll, what can you expect of a
family that doesn't keep a chauffeur"
Judge. sT
old Party: Stick to your mother.
my young friend.
His Young Friend: I will, sir, It
costs too much to board any place else.
Town and Country.
The Visitor: How is your baby?
Trained Nurse: First rate! He is
getting so now 1 can occasionally leave
him with his motheri -Harper' Ba-
Ear.
II wish you had broken the news
more gently" sighed the editor, as the
office boy pied the first page by drop
ping the form down a fight Of stairs.
Baltimore American.
SO Like a Bargain.-"I thought she
refused him some time ago because
he was so fat?''
well, she did; but since then he's
been reduced from 200 to 9S."-Brook-
Ign Life.
Mr.. Heighseed Tin italian restau-
rant): Say, 81. this here spaghetty's
all right, amt it?
Mr.. Meddergrass: You bet! When
l git home I'm a.goin' tew write tew
our Congressman an have him send
me a package O. seed. SOS 1 kin raise
it fer myseIf.-Judge.
-Bixby: Had great time up in
the woods. Been deer shooting, you
know.
Tilby: All! Good deal like shooting
the rapids on the st. Lawrence, isn't
it?
Bixby: What in time are you talk
ing about?
Tilby: 1t doesn't hurt the rapids to
be shot, you know.-Boston Tran
script. "a '7
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
The Lad Who Went to Sea to See.
(Nonsense Verses.

(Nonsense Verses).
From the Baltimore American.
There was a youth inquisitive,
AS prying as could be,
And so, that he might see it all,
Why he went out to sea.
| Just all he saw upon the sea,
There's no one seems to know,
| But these are things he said to me:
Il saw the blew wind blow.
l saw the sailors making sales
OF beads to natives black:
l then saw them unfurl the sails
And take their glass beads back.
1 saw where sawfish get their saws:
/ saw a shrimp turn pale
Because a whale with monstrous jaws
Gave forth a woeful wall.
saw a seacow giving way
Before our good ships track;
l saw just how they jelly fish,
And beat the bluefish black.
also saw a crawfish craw:
l saw a big shad roe,
/ saw the fresh salt mackerel
In salt fields down below.
saw the Goldfish playing ball.
The flying fish catch flies;
In fact, l would have seen it all,
But sunfish hurt my eyes.
saw the oyster and the clam
APPLYING a shell game;
The drumfish beat the pair of them,
The lobster got the blame.
1 saw so many curious sights,
l can't recall the half:
/ saw the seahorse moonlight nights,
And heard his gay horse laugh.
/ saw a storm a-coming up,
And then that storm came down;
The ocean got so full of rain
1 thought the fish would drown.
Just then the captain, cap on head,
Stood by the hig capstan
And said: You lubber, go to bed,
Because you're no sea man.
l went below from off the deck:
l longed to see the earth,
For down below a sailor wreck
Was dying in his berth.
The many things l saw so strange,
The strange things / heard said,
Have made my mind to suffer change
In fact, have turned my head"
This did not seem strange in the least,
For, as he told the rest,
His toes were pointing 10 the east,
His nose towards the west.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
CURRENT COMMENT.


The Cleveland Plain Dealer (Dem. }
says: 1t appears it was all a mistake
about Booth Tarkingtons election to
the Indiana Legislature. He wasn't
elected. On the contrary, he ran be-
hind his ticket considerably. Which
seems to show that while there is a
good deal of fiction about politics, you
can't mix the two professions success
fully"
The Philadelphia Record (Dem.)
says; Without money to expend in
corruption ex-senator Higgins says
Addicks could get no Office in Della
ware, least of all a seat in the Senate
of the United States. In the decided
opinion of Mr.. Higgins President
Roosevelt is putting a strenuous life
to extremely bad use in supporting the
efforts of Addicks to steal this high
position from a people who hate and
despise him. Should Addicks be elect
ed United States senator from Della
ware now the responsibility for it
would fall upon President Roosevelt,
which would make a very poor begin
ming for the presidential campaign of
1904
The Hartford Comm Times (Dem.)
says: IF Uncle joe Cannon gets into
the Speakers chair of the House of
Representatives he will be the first
man reputed TO be millionaire to oc-
cupy that high office. MIR. Blaine came
pretty near the million mark. but prob
ably did not quite reach IT, In Dam
Vile, Illinois, he resides In very large
and richly furnished house, but he
also wears boots chews tobacco and
tells very Main stories cnrraapof-
dent remarks of him that he Is cred
tied with having landed more con-
stituents and friends in soft berths
IN the different branches OF the gov
eminent service than any other Ave
men IN Congress-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

The Woman's Christian Temperance
Union selected Milwaukee as the place
for its next national convention. II IS
probable that a change win have to be
made in the arrangements and another
city substituted. An investigation dis
closes the fact that connected with ev-
cry hall in the Wisconsin city there Is
booth devoted 10 dispensing me bev-
erage that made Milwaukee famous. +"
And Of course the w. c. T. u. win not
hold rs convention ia any hall with a
bar attachment.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
A solomon on the Bench.

Justice Mayer has a way of dealing
with small offenders that is peculiar
ly his own, says the New York Tri-
bune. He was presiding in the Chill
dren's Court yesterday when Police
man Ehrgott arraigned before him
Hyman Cohen, of No. 40 denry
street. Hyman is nearly 8 years old,
and when Ehrgott told the justice
THAT he had caught him throwing
stones at passing wagon he admit
ted the truth of the charge.
why did you throw the stone?'
Justice Mayer asked.
ITS fun to see them jump when
you hit en-" the lad replied
Fun, is it?" asked the court. "All
right, 1 want to have some fun, too.
Mr.. Coulter Ito the clerk), where is
that big boy we just sent to prison
for throwing stones?''
I'm the yard" replied Mr.. Coulter.
We'll, then, take this boy out there
and let the big boy throw stones at
him. We will have lots of fun when
the stones hit him and he jumps"
Hyman heard his sentence unmOved
until he reached the iron partition
that separates the court from the cor
rider, and then he broke down and
wept.
Bring him back" called out the
justice. "Why, Hyman, I'm surprised
at you. What are you crying for?'
THE stones II hurt me-, whimper-
ed the child.
Don't you think the stones you
threw hurt the horse?" said Justice
Mayer. sternly.
Hyman continued to weep. Justice
Mayer waited until the fit of crying
was over and insisted on an answer.
Hyman admitted that perhaps, his
stones did hurt the horse. He prom
Used, between sobs, that he would
never throw any more stones, and
heard with awe Ehrgott's pledge to
telephone the court every day as to
how he was keeping his word.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

1t is high time that Mrs. Carrie Ma
ton were placed under restraint. The
poor woman is mentally unbalanced,
and should be prevented from going
around the country making a specta-
Gle of herself. 1t Is possibly true that
she is a harmless" crank. but she is
a very annoying one. Besides, on ac-
count of her sex she ought 10 be re-
moved from the constantly recurring
indignity Of being fired" out OF sa-
looms. halls and other places by po-
licemen. barkeepers, and "Bouncers."
She Is not "a reformer. Nobody regards
her as anything more or less than a
crank and a freak,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

A critic says that Verestchagir's
picture. 1.-THE Charge up San Juan
HILL" is remarkable only for the
faithfulness with which the uniforms
of the Rough Riders are shown and
the number of men crowded into the
scene. If the Americans had been as
thick on the field as is shown in the
picture, the Spaniards could have shut
both eyes and moved them down;
they couldn't have missed. AS a mat
ter of fact, there probably is not in
existence a strictly and historically
accurate picture of battle field.
Some few of them may be approx
mately correct. It in all the artists
have drawn upon their inaginations
for their hest groupings and effects.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

A Popular Widow.-"Why so dis
MALI" Il am afraid our wedding
trip win take all the cash have
saved up" What OF II? A we'd
ding trip only happens once In two
Or three years. Life.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

1t is a little difficult to understand
fully why 1t would be desirable to
change the time of the meeting of the
General Assembly from October to
June. 1t does not seem that such a
change would be in the interest of the
farmers. who win continue TO be con-
siderably represented in the member
ship of that body. 1t was said last
June, with excellent reason, that the
farmers generally could not well spare
a day from their farms just at that
time to go 10 the polls FOR the pri-
mary election. II that were true. Is It
reasonable 20 suppose that the farmers
elected 10 the Legislature could afford
TO take nifty days off from their farms.
beginning the fourth Wednesday IN
June, and spend the time IL Atlanta?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

If the Isthmian Canal job were turn
ed over to Pierpont Morgan or Jim"
HILL the tiresome fiddling that has
been going on for years would cease
and the canal would be dug speedily.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
The Weather.

The indications for Georgia to-day
are fair weather, light variable winds;
and for Eastern Florida, fair weather,
light variable winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
COLLINSVILLE LINE.

(Fair Grounds and Dale Ave0
Beginning at $500 a. m, cars leave
Bolton and OFT streets every Is min
utes; returning, cars leave Estill ave-
nue. and Waters road at 6:07 a. m. and
every Is minutes thereafter, connecting
with cars on Thunderbolt line, until
1900 o'clock midnight
Through cars are operated between
Market and Thunderbolt via Collins
vile and Dale avenue as follows:
Lv. Market. Lv. Thunderbolt.
6:45 a. m. 1880 a. m,
6:4o p. m. 1880 D. m.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

Helen Gore. the American woman
who was shot to death in the room
of Russian singer in Paris, was APP
propriately named.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
WESr END LINE.
LincoIn Parkl


Car ieaveB west side of City Market
fol Lincoln Park 600 a. m. and every
40 minuteS thereafter until 1880 D. m.
Car leaves Lincoln Park for Marke!
$40 a. m. and every 10 minutes there
after until 1900 o'clock midnight.
FREIGHT AND PARCEL CAR.
Leaves east side of City Market for
Thunderbolt, Cattle Park, Sandfiy. Iale
of Hope and all intermediate points
9:15 a. m, 1:15 p. M, els p. m.
Leaves Isle Of Hope for Sandfly.
Cattle Park, Thunderbolt and all in
termediate points-6:00 a. M. 11:CO a.
m, 800 p. m.
Freight car leaves Montgomery at
$50 a. m. and 2:35 p. M. connecting at
Sandhy with regular parcel cav for
city.
Parcel car from the city carries
freight to Montgomery on each trip.
Regular parcel car carries trailer on
each trip for accommodation of pass
engers.
Any further information regarding
passenger schedule or freight service
can he had by applying to
G. o. NAGLE. Manager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

During the recent campaign the Re-
publicans made many protestations rel
alive to trusts and the tariff. They
said they were in favor of curbing the
trusts and of reforming the tariff in
certain particulars. Hon. James D.
Richardson of Tennessee, the minority
leader of the House, says the Demo
Gratis of Congress stand ready to put
them to test of their sincerity. If
the Republicans honestly wish to re-
strain the trusts and reform the tariff
they will find the Democrats ready to
assist them. But nobody believes the
Republicans have any sincere inten-
tions in either direction.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22


Col. Watterson owes the public an
explanation. 1t. is reported that he
attended the New York Horse Show
the other day and hob-nobbed with
the Smart Set. One newspaper says:
Divorces were on every side of him;
the Smart Set We're shaking hands
with him, quite as though nothing
had happened to cause any Ill feeling.
He evidently likes them, if he
doesn't like their ways. : . He was
at all times mixed up with that very
same Newport set" And yet 1t was
only a week or two ago that Col.
Watterson filled his ink-bottle with
vitrioI and hurled the contents at
the Newporters and the Smart Set
generally. Is the COlonel's wrath
against these people, who do and say
such queer things, merely editorial
and not personal?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

The Original Cannon man" is now
beginning to show up by the hun
dreds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
MONTGOMERY AND THUNDER.
BOLT LINE,

THUNDERBOLT LINE (speciaD.
City Market to Casino via Bolton
Street Junction.
Beginning at 5:45 a. M. cars leave
City Market for Casino at Thunderbolt
every II minutes until 80 p. m.
Cars leave, Rolton Street Junction Is
minutes after leaving time at City
Market.
Beginning at 5:53 a. M, cars leave
Casino at Thunderbolt every Is min
utes until 1908 midnight.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22

The Indiana mob has again demon
strated that it will lynch negro just
as quickly as the Mississippi mob.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-22
MONTGOMERY LINE.

Connects at Sandhy with parcel car
to city.
SConnects at Sandfiy with parcel car
for Isle of Hope.
"Goes 10 Montgomery on return trip
from Isle of Hope.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
NEWS FACTS IN OUTLINE

Numerous culverts and bridges in
Oklahoma have been washed out by
the recent heavy rains.
w. e. Cunningham, superintendent
of the st. Louis, KeOkuk and North
western railroad, is dead at st. Louis.
Sioux City, Ia, and the Northwest
ern railway are having a legal fight
for valuable river front property.
Wall street has recovered very gen
orally from it's recent decentralization.
The royal family of Greece has been
safely landed from the royal yacht,
which is stuck on a reef in the Euro
pis channel.
The suit against the alleged beef
of Missouri.
The national association of chiefs of
police is in session at Louisville.
Horatio Vasquez has been success
full in his revolution in San Domingo,
and Jiminez acknowledges the fact.
At the first days shooting of the
Mississippi and Louisiana Trap Shoot
ing association, at NatcheZ, Fred Gill
bert broke 1913 out of a possible 200.
Ex-United States Senator Roach, Of
North Dakota, is seriously i'll at New
York
Between 100000 and 100000 is the
estimate of the loss by fire at New
Milford, Conn.
The campaign against smallpox near
Chicago waged by railroad officials and
public health officers has caused a
large decrease in the number of cases.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09

How many people use the expression,
"a regular Bedla - without knowing
Bedlam's where or what" Bedam
was the popular corruption Of Bethle-
hem. the name of an insane asylum in
London, first established in 1923. Ow-
ing to the prevalent ignorance Of that
age, it was q place Of chains and man.
acles and stocks and finally became so
filthy and loathsome that no man could
enter it. 1t was rebuilt several times,
but even as late as 1912 the institution
was marked by it's cruelty to inmates.
The poor lunatics were chained and
logged at certain stages of the moons
age. Treacherous floors were arranged
that. slipping suddenly, precipitated
the unsuspecting ones into ''baths of
surDrise,'
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
John Randolph.

The most fragrant bit of diplomatic
jobbery in the history of the United
States was perpetrated by that Virginia
scapegrace John Randolph of Roanoke.
Randolph was appointed minister to
Russia in 1890 He sailed for his post
in June of that year, but remained
there only ten days, and then departed
suddenly for England, where he raised
high jinks for nearly a year, after
which, returning home in October,
1881, he drew $21, 4O7 from the treasu
ry, with which he paid off some of his
old private debts.-New York Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
The Descendants Pleading,

In rural district in the west of Eng
land there lived an eccentric old farm
err who was continually appearing be-
fore the magistrates for allowing his
cattle to stray on the highway.
During the hearing of his case for a
similar offense upon the last occasion
he elected much laughter from the pre-
siding gentlemen on the bench and
others.
The chairman, addressing the defend
ant, asked:
''Do you plead guilty or not guilty?"
''Well, yer 'onor, l expects as 1 be
guilty. But don't be too hard on a
regular custOmer."-Tit-Bi Bits.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09

been in England, will send a thrill Of
regret through these islands and
through all of North America-Can-
ada as we'll as the United States. For
wherever the English language is
spoken, there Bret Harte has admir-
ers and friends. Death came to him
Monday night at the Red House,
Camberley, near Aldershot, and came
suddenly, being caused by a hemor-
rhage of the throat resulting from an
affection of the tonsils.
Harte had been suffering from
swelled tonsils since December last
but he did not consider the attack to
be serious. A week ago he went to
visit friends at Camberley, and was
present at lunch, as usual, Monday.
He suddenly became ill in the after
noon. went to bed, and died in a few
hours His end was peaceful. Harte
had been living quietly in England
for years. Most of his time was spent
in the country, and when in London
he was almost equally secluded, hav-
ing few visitors to his rooms at Lam
caster Gate, and only going to the
houses of a limited number of very
intimate friends.
Francis Bret Harte, as he was
christened, is a figure that will stand
in literature as long as books are
printed. His unique and powerful
genius stands out clearer today than
it did forty years ago. He was born
at Albany, N. Y, on Aug. 20, 1889.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
Records of the Ball PLAYERS.

Chicago, May 7.-Following are the
scores recorded yesterday by the base
ball clubs:
League: At Pittsburg 6,
Cincinnati 2; at Chicago-Rain.
American: At Observation-Disclosures 4,
Boston 5; at Philadelphia-Wa shing-
ton O, Philadelphia II; at Cleveland
Chicago 6, Cleveland 3.
Association: At Indianapolis-Min
neapolis 4, indianapolis Z; at Column
bus-Milwauke 4, Columbus 5; at To-
ledO-Rain.
WESTERN: At st. Joseph-Denver 2,
st. Joseph 5; at Kansas City-Colo-
RADIO Springs 8, Kansas City 4-thir-
teen innings: at PeOria-Rain.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
Sir Boyle Roche's Famous "BuIls."

Sir Boyle Roche's Famous "Buiis."
Sir Boyle Roche, too, whose bulls
made him famous, on one occasion as
sured wonder stricken body Of voters
that if elected he would put stop to
smuggling practices in the Shannon by
"haying two frigates stationed on the
opposite points at the mouth of the rlv-
er, and there they should remain fixed.
with strict orders not to STIR and so by
cruising and cruising about they would
be able to intercept everything that
should attempt to pass between them
Another time when on the hustings
he observed, England. it must be al
lowed, is the mother country, and
therefore | would advise them eng
land and IrelanO to live in filial affec-
ton together like sisters, as they are
and ought to be-" This was only equal
ed by his, when opposing his antimin-
isterial motion, wishing the said mo-
ton twas at the bottom Of the bottom
less pit"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
INDIANA CITY ELECTIONS
questions at Issue We're Generally Local
and Not Political.

Questions at Issue We're Generally Local,
and Not Political.
indianapolis, Ind, May ELECTIONS
we're held in all Indiana cities yester-
day except Indianapolis, Evansville
and Fort Wayne, which have special
charters. Neither of the state commit
tees has been taking hand in the
direction of the campaigns, as local
rather than political questions have
been at issue. Bloomington elected a
Democratic mayor for the first time
in the history of the city. Greencastle
elected Il Democratic mayor, Repub-
lican clerk, treasurer and marshal
Charlottesville elected the entire Re
publican ticket At Frankfort Demo
cratin mayor and one councilman were
elected while the balance Of the ticket
went Republican.
The entire Democratic ticket was
reelected at Upton. Vincennes, Law
renceburg, Mishawaka and Vevay
elected Democrats as mayors. Leba-
non elects Republican mayor and a
majority of the council. New Albany
elected a mixed ticket headed by a
Republican mayor Wabash elected
the entire Republican ticket Portland
elects Democratic mayor Peru,
South Bend and Marion have gone
Democratic. Lafayette and Kokomo
elected the Republican ticket with the
exception Of a few councilmen
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09
Johns BIunder.

A minister in Scotland who was max
ing call the other week upon a mem
Der Of his flock whom he had not seen
at church for some time asked, whats
come over you that l don't see you at
church at all noW?''
"Hoots, man. yell no ha' seen me
because sit ahint the pillar
"The pillar, John? Good gracious,
the pillar! Why, it is two years since
it was removed from the front of your
seat"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1902-05-09

The arrangements for the funeral
of Admiral Sampson will be completed
today. It has been suggested to Mrs.
Sampson that the naval cemetery at
Annapolis would be a proper place for
the last resting place of the remains,
while other friends have represented
to her that he should be buried in
Arlington cemetery, near this city.
Admiral Sampson resided at Annapolis
eight years, during four years of
which he was superintendent of the
academy there. Mrs. Sampson prefers
Annapolis, but the matter will be def
nitely decided today. The pallbearers
have not yet been selected, but they
will include among them some of the
captains of the ships of the fleet which
engaged in the Santiago campaign.
Widow May Not BE at the Funeral.
Mrs. Sampson suffered a slight ac-
cident four days ago while attending
to the wants of the admiral, and had
been in bed since, but got up when
she heard of her husbands danger.
She probably will not be able to at
tend the funeral services. A number
of kilograms and messages of condo
lence already have been received at the
house, among them one from Secre-
tary Moody. The death of Admiral
Sampson occurring late in the day,
there was no opportunity for any ac-
ton by the navy department for par
ticipation in the funeral services. Suit
able representation however, will be
made, including detachment of blue
Jackets and marines.