The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1902-04-17
SOME OBSTACLES TO PHONE
COMPETITION.

SOME OBSTACLES TO PHONE
COMPETITION.
In Los Angeles q new telephone COM
pany is striving to displace the old Paci-
&c States telephone company. While
the citizens and business people generally
are delighted with the idea of competition,
and would willingly do anything to ''down
the monopoly" they are fearful to a de-
gree OF encouraging new company, as it
might necessitate them subscribing to two
|companies In order to have all their friends
and customers on their line.
When Abram Goldenstein, who runs a
grocery store In Los Angeles, was ap-
preached by solicitor for the new COM
pany and asked to sign contract to have a
new telephone put in. he said:
''Vhy shout do ut yes? Why shout
|git me anudder telephones?"
4 The solicitor told him that the new COM
pany was prepared to supply servic Q
much cheaper than the rates now charged
for telephones.
II shout do ut to safe money maybe
yes?" said Goldensteln with dangerous
sweetness.
The solicitor told him that he had just
hit the idea exactly.
Whereupon Goldenstein gnashed his
teeth" Yes, safe me moneys. Yes,
that is preety goot way for to safe me
moneys. II I haf Won telephone vich
costs too mooch meney, den shout git
two telephones and make sheepness, yes?"
The solicitor ventured to suggest that
he needn't have but one telephone that,
of course, the new one.
Eyes. dat is preety goot smartness,"
said Goldenstein witheringly. s.You are
Ea preety smart young man, yes? shout
haf Won telephone, yes? Den Jacobson or
some odder grocer haf two telephones unit
/ shout as besser haf no telephone at all.
Yes2 Maybe ut ISIS some feller want some
groceries unit he hat In his house der olt
telephone unit he cand CONT down to der
store cause he is sick. Den vat you spose
he do, yes? He telephones to Jacobson,
who has two telephones, unit If jacobson
vonce gifts him NIT his grip In, don see
um no more. Dat iss de ent of my GUS
toner, because jacobson haf a coople of
telephones unit don't. Dot Is der sheep
ness, yes2
II tell vat you dc. z added Goldanstein,
= ssos plf ds people uat slon RI sF pills
on der new telephone aitogedsers unit
pay you for telephone, but don haf one
In der shop. No, you bettcha nit"
The solicitor suggested that it would be
fine idea even to have both telephones,
for there would not be SO much chance
then of the line being busy. He said tele-
phone rates would be so much lower that
two telephones could be put In for what
one costs now.
"Dat voult pc gread, yes," said Gold
enstein, contemptuously. "Yes, dat would
be pretty goot. Maybe am In my store,
and Ihear der telephone bell ring himself,
unit den shoomp preety qvick, unit say
Hello, hello, hello!' unit der aind no an
swer. Unit I ring oop der chief sassy girl,
and she say she don know nottings aboud
1t, unit she didn't ring der pell. Den ]
| know vat iss der trouble init. | been
hearing init der wrong telephone.
choomp preety quick to der odder tele-
phone, den, bud der telephone Is stopped,
unit 1t is all rung oud and de people is mat
unit maype gone to jacobson to drade.
Yes; unit maype got me customer No.
222, one OF dem clups wher dey play pc.
nuchle unit drink peer, unit I haf got me to
telephone to dem. Unit on de odder tele.
phone haf got me odder customer vich
is de president Of de temperance society
un har noomper is main. 222 on der odder
telephone. How you tink he voult sound
II | get me twisted some day and ring
oop de wrong 222 unit tell de temperance
vomans dat can't sent oop der bottle
beer TIL de poy geds pack?
"Hoy you tink dat vas, yes? tink dey
poth get mad preety qvick unit go to JAG.
obson to drade-
"Maype like to drop nickle in der
slot unit find 1t oud dat I haf de wrong
telephone got, yesp
"Vhen you der new telephones got you
will n d ask like dis: 'Is dis main 1922
but you will haf to say is de Sunset teIe-
phone, dis?'
Maybe come into my store some day
unit fint note from de poy to say dat
| vas to call oop No. 223, unit de man wish
to say something's to me aboud pill.
Unit maype 1t iss dat on Won off der 223s
l hat me man vich is owing me pig
pill, unit on de odder 22S Is der wholesale
house vich am owing pig pill. Unit II
1t der wrong 22S don't vawnt to ring um
oop, yes?
'How I shoult know which 1t is, yes
"Maype I like to know If Chones haf a
telephone. Unit vent der new telephone
coomes in haf me got to look through
two books to find out.
"Unt, say, where got me to put um.
yesp Maybe a rent me store for to take
oop all de room init telephone poxes, yes
"Unt dat makes der city look pretty
nice, yes? When der new telephones ged
der streets all cobwebbed oop.
Il don't vawnt me no new telephones
not If you giffer me ut as Sleeper as nod.
dings. I tink 1t iss preety good vnen We
leaf bat enough py himself"
A Doctors Bad Plight.
Two years ago, as a result OF a severe
tS,eA - H. TN.. n