davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
PrOhted by a Joke,

Justice "Bitf'' Hall. sometime Chicago
newspaper man, dearly loves joke.
Here is one he is responsible for, which
shows that, in spite of the immortal
William, there is often something in a
name.
1t was the regular morning grind at the
Harrison street police court-a stream OF
tramps, plain drunks," " drunk and dis
orderlies," and other petty offenders, with
$40 or 20 days" or "$15 or 80 days
chalked up against them as fast as the
clerk could write. 1t was stupid, monot-
onous grind, with nothing to relieve the
dead level of sodden and sinful humani-
ty.
Presently, says the Chicago Tribune,
appeared tall hobo of typical appear
ance. The charge against him on the sheet
which lay on the judicial desk was "plain
drunk"
What's your name?" asked Justice
Hall in his sharpest Judicial manner.
"Cannon's my name, mister judge, your
honor" said the tramp.
The judicial frown relaxed into sus-
picion of smile. Mirth, if not mercy
was about to temper justice.
Cannon" said the justice gravely, "the
officer says you are loaded. There seems
to be nothing for me to do but to dis
charge you."-The Journalist.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
The Colonel Was Cool.

1t was in Western hotel. A bell boy
was sent to COL William Green Sterrett's
room to ascertain what urgent need had
impelled that gentleman to push the
button. He entered and found the colonel
deeply immersed in friendly game with
some chosen spirits.
Ibid you ring, sah?" he deferent:ally
inquired.
Yes" said COL Sterrett, deftly hurting
two un promising pasteboards into the
discard. I'VE want you to bring US some
whiskey. My friends here will take Scotch
and mine is rye"
"Yes, sah," said the boy, turning to go.
"AnG after you have brought us the
whiskey," continued Col. Sterrett, arrest
ing his flight, turn in fire alarm. Some
one in the next room has set the place
New York Times.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

Senator Tillman's frank recital of
Democratic proceedings in the South"
says the Boston Journal, gives to Dem
ocratic Indignation over affairs in the
Philippines wan and sickly hue"
Boys home from college, amt they?"
"Oh, yes. an the seal on Bills diplomy
is as big as the settin' sun, an SAILS got
ribbon enough on her'n to trim all the
bonnets in the family.'
Can it be possible that it is coming to
this, after all:
"Who made the earth?"
God
"Who owns the earth?"
"Morganw
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
MOnteflore's nebuke.

A man who was once talking with
the late Sir Moses Montefiore at a re-
ception found the conversation so en-
tertaining that he completely forgot the
race Of his companion and made some
uncomplimentary remark about the
Jewish features Of a lady who was
passing by. The mistake was no soon
er made than it was perceived.
The unhappy man began to apologize
profusely. II ask thousand pardons
1t was so stupid Of me to forget. You
look angry cough to eat me. 1 beg you
not to devour me-"
"Sir," replied Sir Moses, 1T is 4mpos'
sible. My religion forbids. ."-Peter's
"The Jew as Patriot"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
THE LIMIT WAS REACHED.
What Pat Got When He Asked Fol
q Raise In SALARY.

What Pat Got When He Asked For
Raise, In Salary.
A story was often told by the late
Charles L. Tiffany Of an importunate
Irishman who for many years had been
employed as a window washer. His
pay had been raised quite as often as
was consistent with the dignity Of his
position, but be seemed always hungry
(or probably thirsty for more. At
length the firm decided that the limit
was reached. Not so Pat. Going one
morning to the inner sanctuary, he
sought audience with Mr.. Tiffany.
"Good morntn', Mr.. Tiffany" he COM
menced artfully, seeking to preface his
errand by disinterested conversation.
"Good morning, Patrick" was the
answer.
"And how are ye this mornin', Mr..
Tiffany"
"Quite we'll, thank you, Patrick"
"And how are your wife and fami-
ly"
"Quite well, thank you, Patrick. But
what can do for you this mornlng|
"Oi've been thlnkin', Mr.. Tiffany,
thot Owe served ye long and faithful
these twenty-foive years and thot Oi
sh'ud Lave q raise in me pay"
"You should be thankful, Patrick,
that you have been permitted to serve
30 distinguished house as that of Tiff
fany & Co. for twenty-five years. That,
with what we have already done for
you, should be sufficient. Good morn
ing, Patrick"
"Good mornin', Mr. Tiffany"
Realizing the futility Of further
words, be left the room. Reaching the
outer Office, he was hailed by chorus
from the "boys," to whom his period.
ical pilgrimages had become standing
joke:
what did you get, Pat?" -,
Faith" was the ready answer, "Oi
got permission to kape me job, and Oi
TUX itv-New York Times.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Full Dress.

A belated traveller, who was compelled
to stay all night in backwoods cabin,
says that soon after the frugal supper OF
"sody biskits," and fried "side meat"
swimming in grease, had been eaten, a
tall, gaunt youth of about IS and an
equally sallow and gaunt girl of II, both
barefooted, took their hats from wooden
pegs in the wall and prepared to 60 out,
whereupon their mother, taking her pipe
from between her yellow teeth, said re-
provingly:
Go long an wash your feet, Levi, you
an Looly both! Hain't you 'shamed to 60
off to an evenin' party without washin'
your feet?'
They obeyed, but as Levi took the
washpan from bench by the door he
said, with grumble:
"Pd bout as soon stay home from a
party as to have to fix up 80 for hit!'
Detroit Free Press.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Killed by his BrOther.in.LaW.

K1NesTREE, May 12.-Hillary Holle-
man was shot this evening about four
miles from town on his way to Greeley
vile. The ball entered his left side,
ranged upwards, touching his heart and
death resulted Immediately. Holleman
and his brother-in-law, Brown, had been
to Kingstree and had good supply of
liuuor0and dead man resulted. Brown
says Holleman had shot the pistol, was
preaching it and accidentally shot him.
self. A negro woman says they were
quarreling in the wagon, Holleman had
Brown down and was beating him when
Brown shot him. Brown left the dead
man in the road, drove eight miles to
Greeleyville and then returned.
The coroners inquest was held and de-
cided that Hillary Holleman came to his
death from a gunshot wound at the hands
of H. H. Brown. Brown was arrested
and is in the county jail
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Wu Meets His Match.

A clever New York woman met Minis
ter WI Ting-fang at a dinner in Wash
ington several days ago and his Excellen-
cy said
Are you married."
"Yes."
"Where is your busband?"
He is in New York attending to his
business"
And then his Excellency switched off
to impersonal questions. The New York
woman, after answering several of them,
hesitatingly, said:
"You have confused me: your Excellen-
cy. When / knew | was to meet you l
was prepared to answer your usual set OF
questions"
And what are they?" said WI Ting
fang, with suggestion of smile.
"Why, how old was; how many chill
dren had; how much my clothes cost,
and what my income was"
And I suppose" said Minister WI, IF
l had asked them you would have thought
me impertinent."
"Oh! no." said the New York woman,
blandly, "only Chinese, your Excellency."
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Twas Life or Death"

1There is a certain young man in Du-
luth. I don't know his name, what he
looks like, or whether he is really stupid,
or 'kidder,'" said "hello" girl the other
day, in conversation with friend.
II was just getting drowsy, after the
rush when the buzZer whirred in a dizzy
fashion.
"'Hellor said |.
"1dellor came back Say, Central, this
is a case of life or death. Now, if you
have ever done quick action before, out
do it this time. Unless you get rig here
for me in hurry, it's all off, that's all!
Do you understand? It's case of life or
death with me, and mean if, say, it's
case of life or death! Do you hear? Are
you there?"
"'Yes, am here Ireplied. Will you
please give me the number:
"'Oh, the number-yes, the number!
Say, wouldn't that jar you? Eve forgot
ten it. What is it, Central, please? Look
quick
"'What is the name of tn firm or the
party you wish to talk with?' asked.
"'Oh, the name-the name, Well, isn't
that peculiar? Blame me, if haven't for
gotten the namen
The receiver was hung up with snap,
and the forgetful man evidently decided
to walk"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
MASTERS SALE.

BY virtue of decree of the Court of
Common Pleas in the case of Fincken,
Jordan & Co. VS.. Edgar Dickinson ct al,
I will sell to the highest bidder for cash,
on Monday, the End day Of June next,
between the usual hours of sale, in front
of the court house at Bamberg, s. c., all
that piece, parcel or lot of land situate,
lying and being in the town of Bamberg
and State of South Carolina, containing
seven-eighths ofan acre, more or less, and
bounded on the North by lots of Estate
of Miss Lucia B. Bellinger, East by lot of
Mrs. Minnie Dickinson, South by second
street, and West by lot of Josiah Dickin-
son. If terms are not complied with
within one hour, premises will be re-
sold at once at rish of former purchaser,
on same terms, and until purchaser is
found who shall comply. Purchaser to
pay for papers.
H. G. FOLK,
May 10, 1902. Master.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

The withdrawal Of Senator McLaurin
serves one good purpose, at least. Those
who believe in expansion and other pro-
gressiye ideas, which it is asserted the
Democratic party ought to endorse, can
now have the fullest and freest discussion
without being abused and maligned. At
least, such should be the case. In the
meantime, let the agitation continue. If
the ideas are bad, further discussion will
only show up their worst features, and II
they are good our people ought to know
it. There can come no harm from all
the light possible.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
An Unusual Fee.

After large wedding in Washington
the "best man" started at hardly an hours
notice. for South Africa. On his return
to Washington, after an absence of some
eighteen months, he received the warmest
sort of welcome from his old associates
A dinner given in his honor afforded the
first OCCASION since the wedding for don
ming evening dress, and in the midst OF
the evening, having occasion to feel in his
waistcoat pocket for something he elect
rifed the party by drawing forth $1OC
bank note.
Where had it come from? Who had
put it there? His fellow guests had all
sorts of suggestions to offer, none of which
seemed satisfactory.
Early the next morning the truth flash
ed across his mind. He called upon the
clergyman who had performed the mar
riage ceremony.
"You remember the fact, suppose,
said the visitor, "ot marrying MI. ii
and Miss c. about year and halt
ago."
"Oh, very we'll" answered the clergy
man. II see them constantly. They at
tend my church"
"Then I hope you will pardon rather
delicate question, asked in strict conf
dence. How much did you receive as
your fee on that occasion?"
II will return frankness with frank
ness" and the clergyman smiled whim,
sically. 1T was the strangest fee that ever
came my way. After the ceremony the
best man, with profusion of thanks, slip
ped into my hand a small silver of plug
tobacco wrapped in wad of paraffin pa
peri"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

The first regular contract ever made in
the world to pick cotton by machinery
was closed in Greenville, Ala, few days
since, and the first experiment with the
machine will be made on plantation in
Washington county next fall. A Pittsburg
man is the inventor of the device and for
the past 10 years has been conouctlng
experiments in the vicinity of Greenyllle
He now claims that the device has been
modelled on practical working basis ana
feels confident that he will revolutlonlze
the cotton picking industry in the South.
The machine, he admits, is valueless ex-
cept on the level uplands, low valleys
and prairie grounds, but even if it should
prove successful with this limit, its effect
on the labor question in the south will be
very marked.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

In a recent speech Senator Carmack
said that General Funston was the great
est captain who ever welded the jawbone
of an ass. This reminds Representative
Curtis of Kansas of story.
what did Samson slay his enemies
WITH" asked q school teacher of his class
No one would answer.
what is this?" inquired the teacher,
touching the side Of his cheek.
"The jawbone of an ass" was the
prompt reply.-Detroit Journal.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
An Editors Schedule.

An Oklahoma editor announces the
following cash-in-advance schedule: Fol
telling that man is a successful citizen
when everybody knows he is lazier than
o government mule, $2.75; referring to
the deceased as One sincerely mourned
by the entire community when he will be
missed only at the poker circle, $l.OS; re-
ferring to a lady as one whom it is a
pleasure to meet when every business
man hides if he sees her coming, 1919;
sending tough to heaven, with poetry
thrown in. IS.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Won't Follow Advice After Paying
Fop 1t.

In recent article prominent physi-
clan says, 1T is next to impossible for
the physician to get his patients to carry
out any prescribed course of hygiene or
diet to the smallest extent; he has but or
resort left, namely, the drug treatment"
" hen medicines are used for chronic con-
stipation, the most mild and gentle OBJ
tailable, such as Chamberlain's Stomach
& Liver Tablets, should be employed.
Their use is not followed by constipation
az they leave the bowels in a natural and
healthy condition. For sale by Bamberg
Pharmacy.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
No Loss of Time.

Ihave sold dCbamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy for years, and
would rather be out Of coffee and sugar
than it. l sold five bottles of it yester-
day to threshers that could 60 no further,
and they are at work again this morning.
H. R. Phelps, Plymouth, Oklahoma.
As will be seen by the above the thresh-
ers were able to keep on with their work
without losing single days time. You
should keep abottle of this remedy in your
home. For sale by Bamberg Pharmacy.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Talked Ten Dollars Worth.

II remember when Judge Austin was
trying case in the criminal court" said
a Milwaukee lawyer, "that he had fel-
low to defend who was evidently guilty.
When the time came for him to plead he
rose and said he was willing to let the
case 60 to the jury at once, believing that
there was no chance for acquittal.
"He was nudged by the defendant, who
"'You know you are guilty and you
didn't pay me much anyway whispered
the lawyer.
"tI know that said the prisoner. Il
only paid you $40, and for goodness sake
talk $40, worth, anyway
Every one in the room heard that,
and Judge Austin talked his $40 worth.
He cleared his man, too"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Capacity and Power.

A man Is worth to himself just what
he is capable Of enjoying. This means
the utmost enlargement Of his capacity,
He is worth to the world just what he
Is capable of imparting, and this means
the utmost development of every pow
er. These two, capacity and power
form the truest standard, the most ac'
curate measure, of every man.-Can'
field, ''The College Student"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Don't Start Wrong,

Don't start the Summer with linger-
ing cough or cold. We all know what a
summer cold" is It's the hardest kind
to cure. Often it hangs on" through the
entire season. Takeit in hand right now
A few doses of One Minute Cough Cure
will set you right. Sure cure for coughs,
colds, Group, grip, bronchitis, all throat
and lung troubles. Absolutely safe. Acts
at once. Children like it. "One Minute
Cough Cure is the best cough medicine I
ever used" says J. H. Bowles, Groveton,
N. Fl. II never found anything else that
acted so safely and quickly" Bamberg
Pharmacy; A. G. Reynolds, Ehrhardt.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
THE DOCS TAIL.
It's Language In the Chase and WheH
the Animal Is Pleased.

It's Language In the Chase and Whes
the Animal Is Pleased.
In the case Of all hunting dogs. such
gether, the tail Is carried aloft and il
very free in movement. 1t is also FIRE.
quently rendered more conspicuous b!
the tip being white, and this is almost
invariably the case when the hound:
are Of mixed color. When ranging the
long grass of the prairie or jungle, the
raised tips Of the tail would often Dr
all that an individual member Of the
band would see Of its fellows.
There is no doubt that hounds habit
ually watch the tails Of those in front
Of them when drawing covert. If
faint drag is detected suggestive Of the
presence Of a fox, but scarcely sufti-
cient to be sworn to vocally, the tail of
the finder is at once set in motion, and
the warmer the scent the quicker does
it Wag. Others, seeing the signal,
quickly join the first, and there is an
assemblage of waving tails before even
the least whimper is heard.
Should the drag prove doubtful one,
the hounds separate again, and the
waving ceases, but If it grows stronger
when followed up the wagging be-
comes more and more emphatic until
one after another the animals begin to
whine and give tongue and stream off
in Indian file along the line Of scent.
When the pack is in full cry upon
strong scent, the tails cease to wave,
but are carried aloft in full view. The
moment when the dog most enjoys life
is the moment when he sights game.
That moment is the time when he
wags his tail most vigorously in order
to announce his discovery to his fellow
dogs.
In this way, by the habit of associa
tion, he got to wagging his tail when
ever he was pleased. The more pleased
he is the more vigorously he wags his
tail. so that the wagging of dogs tail
under pleasurabe emotions can be
traced directly to the time when the
dog used his tail as signal Of the dis
covery Of his prey.-D. Provan in Scot
tish-American.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
interchangeable Mileage Books

Now issued by the Seaboard Air Line
Railway afford the most convenient and
cheapest method of travelling. These new
mileage books are sold by the seaboard
Air Line Railway at rate of $25.G2 each
and are good between New Orleans,
Montgomery, Cincinnati, St. Louis,
Louisville, Memphis, Nashville, Florida
points, Atlanta, Richmond, Washington
and Baltimore, in fact they are good over
more than $4,000 miles of railway and
steamship lines, including the seaboard
Air Line Railway, Atlantic Coast Line,
Plant System, Louisville & Nashville, and
the other principal railroads of the South.
These books are now on sale at all Sea-
board Air Line coupon ticket Offices. J.J.
Fuller, Travelling Passenger and City
Ticket Agent, 1900 Main street, Columbia,
g e.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Sciatic Rheumatism Cured After Four
teen Years of Suffering.

~ have been afflicted with sciatic rheu-
matism for fourteen years. says Josh
Edgar, of Germantown, Cal. Twas able
to be around, but constantly suffered. l
tried everything I could hear of and at
last was told to Try Chamberlain's Pain
Balm, which I did and was Immediately
relieved and in short time cured, and l
am happy to say it has not since return
ed." Why not use this liniment and get
we'll? It's for sale by Bamberg Pharmacy.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

"Those Democrats who devote their
time to finding defects in the policies
of the Republican side without putting
out any reasonable remedy remind me"
said Senator Burrows, "of the woman
whose married sister had just presented
her husband with bouncing pair OF boys.
Well said this woman, I wanted you to
employ an homeopathic doctor and you
insisted on having an allopath. Next
time l guess you will listen to me- -
New York World.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

A curious check was presented to the
cashier of one of the Tonawanda banks
recently. This check, which was for $40,
was made payable to "the sweetest of the
sweet" and was presented to the cashier
in the ordinary way. The cashier, natural
ly startled by the unusual expression in
the body of the check, asked in innocence:
"Who is the sweetest of the sweet ?"
Il am" replied the lady. Kindly endorse
it that way" said the cashier. She did.
And, as her husbands account warranted
it, for, like prudent man, he had not
overdrawn it, "the sweetest of the sweet"
received her money.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

The county convention of Greenwood
and some candidates in Union have at
tempted to fix the price of candidates.
cards in the newspapers They had better
drop the scheme like hot brick. A tel-
low who expects to run for office is
monkeying with buzz saw when ne
attempts to form a trust against the
newspapers
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
How to Avoid Trouble.

A young cock saw a weathercock on
top of the house and, thinking him rival,
began Growing fiercely.
"If you keep on making a noise like
that" said the old bird, they'll wiring
your neck for you
The young cock looked thoughtful.
Take example by me. I've got along
and have been looked up to for half a
century by simply keeping my bill shut
and turnin g with the wind"
The moral is obvious.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
WhOODing Cough.

A woman who has had experience with
this disease, tells how to prevent any
dangerous consequences from it. She
says: Our three children took whooping
cough last summer, our baby boy being
only three months old, and owing to our
giving them Chamberlain's Cough Rem
edy, they lost none of their plumpness
and came out in much better health than
other children whose parents did not use
this remedy. Our oldest little girl would
call Justify for cough syrup between
whoops.-Jesse Pinkey Hall, Spring
vile, Ala. This remedy is for sale by
Bamberg Pharmacy.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Like q Drowning Man.

Give years ago disease the doctors
called dyspepsia took such hold of me that
I could scarcely 60, writes Geo. s. Marsh,
well-known attorney of Nocona, Tex. II
took quantities of pepsin and other med
icines but nothing helped me. As a drown.
ing man grabs at straw I grabbed at
Kodol. 1 felt az improvement at once
andafter afew bottles am sound and we'll"
Kodol is the only preparation which ex-
actly reproduces the natural digestive
juices and consequently is the one which
digests any good food and cures any form
of stomach trouble. Bamberg Pharmacy;
A. G. Reynolds, Ehrhardt.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15

According to Wilkie Collins, Charles
Dickens used to tell the following as his
best american story"
"Did you ever see a snail, sir?" asked
the passenger of the stage coach driver.
Eyes, sir" was the response.
"Where did you meet him, sir?"
II didn't meet him, at all, sir"
"Ob, excuse me, sir, but I'm sure that
you must, for I'll VOW you never overlook
him"
Apparently this earnest seeker after
information overlooked the possibility of
the snail having oyertaken the driver.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1902-05-15
Wants Others to Know.

"Ihave used DeWitt's Little Early Risers
for constipation and torpid liver and they
are all right. ! am glad to indorse them,
for think when we find good thing we
ought to let others knowit writes Alfred
Heinze, Quincy, III. They never gripc or
distress. Sure, safe pills Bamberg Phar-
macy; A. c. Reynolds, Ehrhardt.