West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-05-15
THE RURAL POSTWAR.
He Tells eta Determined Widow who
Couldn't BE and Wasn't Tilted.

He Tells eta Determined Widow who
Couldn't BE and Wasn't Tilted.
l was having the blacksmith at
Harper's Crossroads sharpen up the
shoes of my horse the other day
when the Widow Hobson, who lives
opposite the shop, called me over.
l saw that she had something on
her mind, and, after drinking a
glass of blackberry wine, asked
her what was the matter.
"Look here, Abe" she replied.
'Would you take me for a chit OF
a girl1"
"Not skassly," says; mot
skassly."
"And would you say was fool
of a woman1"
al wouldn't, widder; wouldn't
say that"
"Well, Lem Johnson either takes
me for q schoolgirl or fool, and
I'm goin' to let him see how mistaken
he is. You knew that he'd been
counting me for year past, didn't
your"
"Not officially, wilder, not as
one representing the constitution,
the American flag and so, 900, 900 of
freemen, which / do. might have
heard word or two as a private
citizen, but Pm not much given to
gossip. So Lem Johnson has been
counting your"
"He has, and he has as good as
asked me to marry him. Up to two
weeks ago he was here at least three
nights week and all the afternoon
Sunday, and he was talking love all
the time"
"Then something happened did
ita"
Something did. He got acqu-
ainted with the new schoolma'am,
and it seems that he fell head over
heels in love with her. She's already
Dragging around that she's put my
nose out of joint"
Shoe! didn't believe Lem was
a trifer."
"Nor 1. When he said / had the
most beautiful eyes he had ever seen,
l thought he was in earnest. He
praised my hair, my teeth, my nose
and my chin, and he didn't appear
as if he was joking about it,"
"But did he ever ask you plumb
out to marry him?" / says.
"Not plumb out, Abe; not in so
many words. He was getting around
to that, you know. No, he never
asked me plumb out, but he talked
of the moon and the stars and
rosebushes and Niagara falls and
whippoorwills and all that. Once
he held my hand and said he would
like to live on desert island with
me all the rest of his life. That was
about the same as popping the
question, wasn't itl"
eyes, about the same. Did you
have any quarrel with him two weeks
ago2"
"Not word, Abe. When he
went away; he said that all / needed
to become an angel was a pair of
wing. Two days later that little
freckled-faced, stub-nosed school
ma'am had him under her thumb. I"
Sand what's going to be done?"
asks.
'I'm going to raise a row." she
says as her teeth clicked together.
Lem Johnson nor nobody else
wants to make mistake on me. No
man on earth can toy with my heart
for year and then throw me over
his shoulder. Lem will find that
he's got the wrong pig by the ear
before he gets through with me"
"Whatll you do, widder1"
"That's what | wanted to talk
with you about, Abe. How would
it be if i sued for breach of
promise1"
"Have you got any letters from
Lem2"
"No. He can't write very well,
you know, and he was here so often
that there was no need of letters. y
you've got to have letters to
prove your case. He may have
talked about he.moon and Niagara
falls and all that, but no jury would
convict. You ought to have had a
proposal in black and white, some
thing he couldn't dodge"