Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-11-29
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Advice TO Suitors.-Before you pop
the question you'd better question pop
Princeton Tiger.
rs that my umbrella you have?"
Most likely, Just bought it in pawn
shop. "-KristianStadS Rladet.
A theater party is a mistake If the
play is interesting, the people bore you;
If the people are Interesting, the play
hores yOu.-Life.
Mother-"How do you like your new
teacher" "Oh, she's a splendid teach .
er. She don't care whether we know
cur lessons or not"
Shc-"My little brother win not both
or us tonight" Hc-"Thats good.
When does the funeral take placeg"--
Chicago Daily News.
Won Blumer (roaring)-"Who told You
to put this paper on the wall?" Deco
rator-"lour wife, sir" Won Blumer
Pretty, isn't it?"-Bazar.
First Boy-"Dat kid thinks he knows
lot about baseball" Second Boy
"Aw. he don't know de difference be.
tween score card an an injunction"
Mutiiedat Nine-Thhty .-Fusser-"Up
1T Wellesley you can't call on girl
after $50" Cusser-"Gee! They must
be a lot Of curfcw bellies Harvard
Lampoon,
Logic, Male and Femalc.-She-r
know that it is not so, but cannot helm
tnnlinu is a
whether it's so or mott don't believe
it."-Judge.
Nod-"how did you manage TO keep
that burglar in the dining-room untn
the police came?" Todd--"Easy enough.
told him | could beat him nj ping.
pong. Life.
Passenger--"l don't see why you fel-
lows can't call out the stations palmer"
Guard-"My dear sir, we are train
guards, not trained elocutionists."
Chicago News
But, father" replied the errlng son,
you know every young fellow has 20
sow his wild oats" Yes" answered
the father but you ought to know when
you have big enough crop in"
Ma-"Willie, what's your little broth
err crying for" Willle-"Aw! Just be-
cause he don't want to learn anything.
just took his candy and showed him
how to eat it."-Phlladelphi Press.
Customer--"l think you should begin
20 charge me half price, Shears, there's
80 little to cut now" Barber-"Otber
way on, sir, fancy. We ought 10 charge
double Look at the trouble have TO
find ltr-Punch.
Buff-"IIave you no memento of yonr
mother-in-law, who came to so sudden
an end In Africa 2" Duff--''No, worse
luck. We only succeeded in getting
photograph Of the cannibal that ate
her.'-New York Sun
Mrs. Secvcr-"I see you have fine
copy Of Browning. | suppose you ad-
mirc Browning?" Mrs. Twigbt-"So
much so, that l never open the book.
l wouldn't have it spoiled for the
world. boston Transcript
The Adorer-"Its wonderful, old
man, what love will enable a man to
see in a girl that he never saw be-
fore" The OnloOker-" No doubt! But
It's equally wonderful what II won't
let him see that he'll see later"
Curious thing about man with n
watch Is that IL you ask him two sec,
Onds later what time il is, he never re.
members. He has to look Mt II again."
.,Xac. Two untiCof1 that hn,tl al "A
tiff his watch Is fine one. "-Chica.
go Tribune.
His Useless Life Work.--"Yes, con.
slider my life failure" "Oh, Henry
how sad! Why should you say thatT'
Il spend all my time making money
enough to buy food and clothes; but the
food disagrces with me, and my clothes
don't lit."--What to Eat.
The proprietor Of German mcnag-
erie keeps Gagged together lion, tiger,
wolf and lamb, which he labels
The Happy Family" When asked
confidentially how long these animals
had Iived together, he answered: Ten
months, but the lamb has TO be re-
newed occasionally"
Maude--"Charlie Virgins sent me a
handsome mirror for a birthday pres
emit" Clara-"That accounts for the
funny question he asked me the other
evening"" Maudc--"What did he ask
your Clara-"If a woman ever got
too old to be pleased with a looking.
glass. "--Ch!eago News.
An Item in Demand. lie was cutting
all item from a newspaper. 1T tells
how a house was robbed, ana want 10
show it to my wife" he explained.
What good will that do?" friend In
quired. n whole lot was the reply;
you see, this house was robbed while
the man was at church with his wife"
say exclaimed the friend, eXcltedly,
you haven't got duplicate copy of
that paper, have you?"-Chlcago Post.
Anything to Oblige.--Mr. Greatman
II wish you'd stop printing my por-
trait every time any little thing hap
none ia mo mr. qlQa got a Dotu ana