Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-10-30

no. MS name Is Jones.
She-"I am going to play Chopin"
He-"ln what hati" She-"Why. in
our own fiat. OF course"
Wlgg-"Is he man Of lutelllgenceY'
Wagg-"l suppose so. Al any rate. he
has never served on jury"
Nell-"Love doesn't seem TO agree
with Maude. She is thinner by twen-
ty pounds than she used to be-" Belle
-"She has loved and lost, ehf"
Merchant-"l want this al. where
everyone Will see It," Sollcltor-"We
charge higher rates for space on the
baseball page. Baltimore World.
Have you any Marconl rosesy"
asked the man entering the florists
What are theyT inquired the puE-
zled dealer In flowers wireless ones"
Customer Tin restauranu-"Look
here. waiter, I've found button in
this salad" Walter-"That's all
right, sir; It's part of the dressings
-Tit-Blts.
Mugglns-l understand that friend OF
yours is a millionaire. Is he one OF thu
open-handed. eXtravagant kind? Dug
gins-Yes, indeed. Why. he even pays
his taxes.
I'D have you know that I've turned
away thousands" stormed the heavy
tragedlan. Naturally" sneered the
comedian; your acting would turn
away anybody"
Dolly-"Iour ride In the auto must
have been just lovely and exciting"
Madge-"It was exciting, but not love
ly. Charlie had TO use both hands to
work it"-Iudge.
Prison Nlsltor-"What brought you
here. my mani" Convict-"Danged lt
remember, but II wasn't an automo-
bile, cause they didn't have none In
them days" Philadelphia Press.
Did yew ever salt sheep?" asked
the farmer OF the new hired man, who
came from Colorado. NO" replied tho
new hired hand, but I've had consid-
erable experience in sailing mines"
what! you call me prettyi Why.
am an old woman: my hair is turning
"A wrinkle! No. madam, 1t is n smile
that has drifted from Its moorlngsl"
What is your natlvlty?" asked tho
magistrate. IL amt got any. y'r hon
or" said the blear-eyed lnebriate, feel
ing In his pockets; the police took ev-
erythng | had."-Chicago Tribune.
Father-"I thought heard our John
ME say he was sick, and now see he's
out coastlng. Did you do anything for
hlm?" Mother-"Yes. brought In all
the evening coal."-Ohio State Journal.
Il suppose you set II good table" re-
marked the man who wns looking for
board. We'll" replied the landlady.
three OF my regular boarders are laid
up with the gout."-Chlcago Daily
News.
I'm sorry you don't like the new
nurse" she said to her husband. she's
so good about singing to baby and
keeping him quiet" Yes" was ths
calm reply; but I'd rather hear the
baby cry"
The little girl was watching her
mother and father discussing a plate
OF oysters the other night. NAM
ma" she said. after some thought,
you eat them face and all, don't youY'
Boston journal.
Mrs. Youngbrlde-I've come to COM
plain OF that -four you sent me. Grocer
was the matter with Il? Mrs.
Youngbride--lt was tough. | made a
pie with II. and II was as much as my
husband could do to cut lt.-Philadel-
phla Press.
Weary WlllIe-"I jes' put In a good
days work In thirty minutes" Prayed
yerself." Weary VIII
lie-"Well. | put In six pies, a pan Nv
doughnuts an four Jars Nv preserves.
OATS good days work fer any wom-
an."-Judge.
The Sultor--I wish to marry your cid.
est daughter. sir. Her Father-Oh. you
do, ehf Are you In a position to sup
port a famllyf The Sultor-I think 80.
sir. Her Father-well. you had better
be sure OF II. There are ten Of us all
told.-ChicagO News.
What Is the greatest NIB that ever
impressed itself on your experience.
Snapper Well. by all odds, the worst
one | ever heard was that your quar-
tette perpetrated last night when they
came round TO the house and sang.
There's Music In the Air"
why Is II that so few people seem
anxious to talk to Mr. CarpIngtonY lie
seems we'll Informed" That's just
the difficulty" answered Miss Dlmpie.
ton. Hes one OF those dreadful men
who know enough to correct your nils
takes when you quote the classics. and
who doesn't know enough not to do it,
Schoolmaster turning round sharply,
Which OF you Is 1t that is daring to
make faces at me? Six youngsters lin
Brown, sir! School
Then you six boys stand
out and be caned. II you saw Freddy
Brown making faces. 1t shows that YOU
were not attending to your lessons