davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

The snub in this instance was well de-
served. This is what a pitiless retort needs
in order to excuse it's apparent rudeness.
A good story is told of the Quick-witted
Irish lawyer, Baron O'Grady. 1t is told
of others, but the sequel to it is, l think,
the property OF O'Orady.
He was on one occasion trying a case In
a country court, outside the walls Of which
a fair was in process. Amid the miscel-
laneous herds Of animals were a consider
able number OF asses and one Of these
commenced to bray loudly. At once the
chief baron stopped the advocate, who at
that moment happened to be pleading.
wait a moment, Mr.. Bushe. l cannot
hear two at once" The court roared and
the advocate flushed. Presently, when the
judge came to sun up, another ass struck
in and the bray resounded through the
court. Up jumped Mr.. Bushe at once, with
his hand to his ear. Would your lord
ship speak a little more loudly? There is
such an echo in the court that I cannot hear
distinctly"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12
The Sense

of responsibility so essential in
developing a young mans con-
hdence in himself, is most easily
created by the possession of
a life insurance policy in the
greatest company in the world:
81 am insured in The Mutual
Life Insurance Company OF
New York." he says, "and have
equal rights with all other
policy-h olders in assets
amounting to over
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

The verbal retort Is not the exclusive
property OF the learned wits OF the law.
The humble schoolboy may try his hand
at 1t. Are you in pain, my little manF
the benevolent uncle asked his nephew
souirminR after a too generous meal. mo,
uncle, the pains in me-"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12
Stories of Ready Wit

The retort is OF all verbal coins the
quickest to get into circulation and the
readiest to pass from one hand to another.
Perhaps of all coins 1t is also the oldest,
relates the Rochester IN. " st-Express.
In our English tongue We have legends Of
the repartee of king and courtier for we'll
nigh 1000 years. The pun, which is often
a species of retort, goes as far back as our
language. To play on words, often in a
very personal manner, is the simplest form
Of retort. Old Thomas Fuller made a witty
as we'll as a true epitaph for himself when
he babe them write on his tombstone two
words only, "Fuller's Earth" But Fuller
himself got caught sometimes. The name
'Sparrowhawk,' in which one Of his friends
rejoiced, was too tempting to the habitua
punster, aud so he asked the unfortunate
man who was afflicted with 1t what was
the difference between a sparrowhawk and
an owl. The answer which he got was: IAN
owl is fuller in the head and fuller in the
face and fuller all over" which was prob
ably more fuller than Fuller bargained for.
Dunning, the famous wit and lawyer, was
badgering a witness on one occasion and
persisted in asking MIN II he did not live
lin the verge OF the court" He was prob
ably a poor debtor, who in the then condi-
ton Of the English law did this to avoid
his creditors. The witness was forced to
admit that he did. "And, pray, sir" said
Dunning, for what feason did you take up
your residence in that placer" To avoid the
rascally impertinence of dunning," answered
the witness.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

Penn had been long enough at court to
manage . retort himself when he cared to
indulge in word play. To his sovereign's
question wherein their religions really Diff
fered. the Quaker replied: THE difference
is the same as between thy hat and mine;
mine has no ornaments"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

The battle Of words is as celebrating as
It is harmless when the combatants keep
alike their brightness and their temper. In
the "reminiscences Of Sir harrington Beau
mont he describes a Dime party at Horace
Walpole's. Charles James Fox was one Of
the guests, and at the last moment Chares
Selwyn. the readiest OF wits, whose strange
weakness was attending executions, strolled
in, evidently in the best of spirits.
George looks as cheerful as though he
had just come from an execution" remarked
Horace Walpole, and Fox said, smilingly:
"a namesake of mine was to be hanged
at Tyburn today. l suppose you we're In at
the death, Selwyn2"
mo, my friend" said Selwyn, 81 make a
point Of never frequenting rehearsals."
This turned the smile against Fox.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12
PATRIOTISM.

The stomach is a larger factor in Ulife,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness"
than most people are aware. Patriotism
can withstand hunger but not dyspepsia.
The confirmed Iva J
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

Historic retorts almost invariably illus
trate the quickness which is essential TO
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

the success Of this species of wit. Jekyll
was a famous at the bar as was Dunning
for his brilliant repartee. Hearing that a
very empty-headed person had gone to
Greece, he quoted at once: ITO the Greeks,
f~oolishness." James Smith, join author
with his brother Horace Of Rejected Ad-
dresses being challenged for a motto on
rocks and crows, responded instantly with
the line, THE cause. my soul, the cause"
To Charles Lamb, Henry Crabb Robinson,
lawyer and delighted companion, was speak
ing Of his hrst brief. when Lamb said to
him, did you not exclaim. Thou first great
cause, least UNDERSTOOD" When Alfred
Tennyson appeared in the Oxford theater to
receive his D.. c. L. degree his disheveled
hair and generally negligent state provoked
the undergraduates into greeting him with
the inquiry. Ibid your mother call you
early, call you early. Alfred dear?" Sydney
Smith perhaps despised pet dogs as heartily
as d. some OF us and this may have given
the sting to his answer to the lady who
begged from his a motto for her poodle,
Spot" "Out, damned Spot!" was his sug-
gestion, but it was no doubt too near the
truth to be adopted.
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

One Of the keenest OF journalists and
wits. Moritz Gottleib Sapher, had the better
Of the irate stranger against whom he ran
by accident at the corner Of a street in
Munich. Beast" cried the offended per-
son, without waiting for an apology.
Thank you" said the journalist, 'and
mine is Saphir."
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12
Various Kinds Of RetOrtS
Illustrated by Anecdotes.
we are both mistaken"

we are both mistaken"
At the ordinary" as the dinner is called
on market days in an English country Inn
probably because 1t is so much better than
ordinary company of travelling men met
one day somewhere in the north OF England.
Among the group there was a drummer
whose conversation was not distinguished
by excess Of either wit or understanding.
AS is generally the case with people who
have nothing to say worth hearing, he
talked a great deal to the evident disgust
OF the rest of the company. When cheese
was served in the usual course, it was Of
a decided 'lively" brand, much to the de-
light Of the irrepressible. He attacked It
with great gusto, remarking, "Tm like
Samson, Staying them by the thousand"
YES" replied a quiet-looking gentleman
at the end of the table, and with the same
weapon, tool"
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

A retort which hit as hard as this was
made upon a would-be poet at his club. a."
said he. have written a great number Of
poems, but ! do not propose to have them
published until after my death"
"Hurrah!" shouted a chorus OF friends,
raising their glasses. here's long life to
you, old man."
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12
S352,838,97I.o7

When one has youth, health,
ambition-that is the time to
insure. The cost of life insur-
ance moves up with each ye&
added to your life.
wdss for Where Shall I IAsursi"
TnE MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE
COMPANY OF NEW York
RlekAaD A. hecUsDS. PrssidsnI
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

FLEMING BROS. AanaGeFs.
Des MOines, In. Omaha Heh-
r. A. Castle, 3 Kohn. w, B. olin, Jr.
Joseph Trick. W J, Trick. Miss Z. N Rsy-
Lolds. SPECIAL agentA
Omaha daily bee., 1902-10-12

account. and there is consequently a great
deal Of excitement in the immediate neigh
borhoOd Of the balloon seller.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
Coming To the Grand.

"Yon Yonson", a play familiar to
most every theatre-goers will be the at
traction at the Grand Feb. 9th. The
story of "Yon Yonson' is one of
strong interest, and is full of episodes
Of powerful dramatic strength, abound
ing in scenes of vivid realism and per-
vaded throughout with comedy of an
unconventional and original charac-
ter. In the entire play Yon is treated
as a natural character; he il not bur-
lesqued, aud his natural humor is
drawn out by legitin- methods.
"Yon Yonson' is play which sus-
tains its interest from beginning to end,
and contains happy combination OF
all the elements to please. The COM
pany this season is said to be well bal.
anced, the character of Yon being play
ed by Knute Erickson. In the cast i;
also Annie Mack-Berlein, Beatrice
Norman, e. ]. Mack, George Brvton
Belle Gold and the original Lumber
mems Quartette. Seats now on sale al
Brunt Il Parman.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
MRS JOHN MURDOCH.

Catherine Campbell was born in Rem
fordshire, Scotland, May 2Sth, 1902
and died at the home of her grand
daughter, Mrs. G. Morton, in Orleans
township, February 9th, 1902, aged 9s
years, s months and IL days.
She was married at the age of &c
years to John Murdoch, GLASGOW, Scot
land. To them seven children were
born; six daughters and one son. The
son survives her, the daughters being
buried in Scotland.
With her husband she moved to
America in lS49, locating in Pennsy.-
vania where she lived seven years,
moving to Bluffton township, Winnie.
sheik county, Iowa, in 1856, where she
has since resided. Her husband pre-.
ceded her to the better land January
9th, 1888.
She leaves large circle of relatives
and friends to mourn her loss.
The funeral services were held at the
Button Catholic church, Rev. Falhel
Have officiating.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
A. G. SEANY.

Mr.. Albert G. Seavy, one of the pio-
neer residents of this city, passed away
at his home on Washington street Fri
day morning at 5:45 o'clock, at the age
of 72 years, days, from blood poison,
after an illness of several weeks. He
had contracted this ailment some time
before he died, and a strong effort was
made to conquer it. first removing two
fingers and later his arm, but it had
such hold upon him that he could
not recover.
Albert G. Seavy was born in Wood
stock, Vermont, Feb. IL, 1880, and was
married to Mary Jane Brown Sept. %,
1854, to whom two children were born,
Mr.. w. HI. Seavy, of Kansas City, and
Mrs. F. l.. Akers, of this city. They
came west in 1857, and have lived
here ever since. He was afterwards
married to Mrs. Sylphia A. Wagar,
Nov. %, 1877, who with the son and
daughter, brother in Iron City, Tenn,
and one sister in Woodstock, Vermont
remains to mourn his loss.
1t is unnecessary to comment upon
the life of one who has lived in thi.
community for nearly half a century,
for he was known by almost everyone,
who esteemed him as an honest, in
dustrious, kind hearted citizen, always
interested in the growth and progress
of the county and city. He was a
man who will be missed from many
circles.
The funeral services were held from
the home on Sunday afternoon, at.
tended by large company of neighbors
and friends, who unite with us In ex'
tending sympathy to the bereaved
ones.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
J. 8. LosEN.

Mr.. John 8. Losen, one Of the old
residents of Hesper township, died on
Feb. 9Th. He was born Sept. IL, 1919,
in Melhus, Norway, and came to
America in the spring of 1851, settling
in Hesper township, where he has
lived ever since. He was married the
same year to Miss Maren Ryalen, who
with two children, Peter Losen and
Mrs. c. H. Thingvold, both of Hesper
township, survive him. Two daugh-
ters have preceded him, Mrs. Peter
Peterson and Mrs. John Gaare. The
funeral services were held from the
Hesper Lutheran church on last week
Tuesday, Rev. Longehaug officiating.
Mr.. Losen was man highly respected
and esteemed by his large acquaint-
ance, and his death will be mourned
by many.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

three sons, Geo. A., Philip, and jacob
one daughter, Mrs. Charles Falk,
twenty-four grand children and two
greatgrand children to mourn his loss.
One son died in theyear 1868 at the age
of four years, and daughter Mrs. Jacob
Young, died in July, 1898. His life
partner for "a years died in December,
1898. His remains were laid to rest in
the Locust Lane cemetery on Monday,
followed by host of people. Rev.
Seehus conducted the funeral ser-
vices.
Philip Pfister, Sr., was born ON the
23d of August, 1928, at Sch hwindratz-
helm Alsace, France, now Germany
He received a good education, learned
the blacksmith trade of his father. In
the year 1914 he he was united in mar
riage to Margaret Riehl, Feb. %, 1854.
He emigrated with wife, four children
and aged mother to America, landing
at New York, where he was received
by his only brother Geo. A., who had
been living in that city for 16 years.
Philip tiring of city life after four
months residence departed with family
to Stratford, Ontario, and after eight
months moved again, this time to
Winnesheik county. He took up
eighty acres of the government. Hav-
ing only enough left to pay for the
eighty, and as the land office was at
Dubuque at the time and as there was
danger of losing the place, he started
on foot and made the distance to Lans-
ing in the night, being in time for a
boat to Dubuque. He was just in time
to get the land. After this he labored
hard on his farm and at his trade. He
never complained about privations
ard hard labor the pioneers had to go
through in those times. He was a
strong and robust man, with strong, in
tellectual mind and withstood all
storms. He was successful in every
thing he undertook. AS he had a
good education, also being christian,
he labored hard to have his
children educated to become good citi-
zens and christians. To that end he
founded the German church at Locust
and labored for the church as long as
he lived. He was honest in all his
dealings and temperate in his living;
as father to his family he was strict
and loving.
AS friend and neighbor, he was
esteemed by everyone who knew him
as man of strong opinions, robust,
manly character, and kind disposition.
In his death Winnesheik county loses
one who was greatly instrumental in
its material and industrial develop
ment. Peace to his ashes.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
Fire This Morning.

AT nine o'clock this morning the de-
partment was called oat to the n. n.
Quandahl drug store building The
fire was confined mainly to burning
chimney, and beyond the smoke
which damaged the Odd Fellows hal
over Jackwitz' furniture store some
what, there will be little loss.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

SENATOR BACON, of Georgia, who
has just returned from tour of study
in the Philippines, has written for The
Saturday Evening Post, of Philadelph'
ia, valuable paper on the business as
pect of our insular affairs. He comes
to the conclusion that our account with
the Philippines must, for an indefinite
time, be on the wrong side of the ledg
er. This article will appear in the is
sue for February %.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
PIONEERS ARE PASSING
DEATH CLAIMS SEVERAL CITIZENS
Brief Sketches Of Those Who Have
Been Called Home During the Week.
CYRUS SPRIGGs.

Cyrus E. Spriggs, whom we previ.
ously mentioned as being ILL.,, died at
Wadena, Iowa, last Saturday, Feb. Sth,
and on Sunday the corpse was brought
to Calmar by the father and brother
where they were met by another mem
Der of the family with team and TAX
en- to the Spriggs homestead in Bluffton
township. The funeral services were
held at the home on Tuesday. A very
large number of friends were in attend
ance. The burial took place in the
Oakland cemetery near Cresco. Cal
mar Courier.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
PHILIP PFISTER, SIR.

Another pioneer Of this county,
Philip Pfister, ST., passed away at his
home north of Locust, last Friday
Feb. 14th, from Bright's disease and
complications.
Grandpa Pfister was sick for nearly
three months. suffering with severe
pains, but bore 1t all patiently. His
sons and daughter were with hin
most of the time for the last week o
his life. He leaves host Of friends
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THERE is a bill before the Iowa legis--
lature providing for the nomination Of
candidates for Supervisor by the dis
tricts which they represent, but thsir
election by the county at large This
would mean complete republieaa1,
board in townships giving republieana
msjorities, and vice versa.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

IT is said that school teacher the
other day asked her pupils to write a
long sentence, and one Of the boys
nearly caused her to faint when he
wrote "Imprisonment for life."
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

NORWAY, Ireland and Spain have
more blind people in proportion to
population than any other European
country. Spain has 2l6 per 100, 600;
Norway, POS, and Ireland, Ill.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

WHEN mau gets out of all kinds Of
jobs, and his future appears to be
but long succession of colorless to-
morrows, he starts new kind of secret
society.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

"WHAT measure can / father or
what action can take that will make
nay chance of reelection stronger"
seems to be the paramount considera-
ton of most members of congress now
a-days.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE Board of Supervisors of Fayette
county has sensibly decided that in
the future all able-bodied persons serv-
ing Jail sentences in that county shall
be made to work.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

A Colorado man Is said to have in
vented an automobile for farmers. 1t
Is a machine that can be operated by
gasoline or electricity, and Is adopted
to blowing, seeding, cultivating or har-
vesting.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

MARRIAGE seems to have robbed
Chauncy M. Depew, like ordinary men,
of the gift of tongues. When man
and a woman are made one the man
soon finds out which is the one.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

WHEN an impecunious friend strikes
you for $40 bill of your surplus. it is
less embarrassing to say "Ikona," which
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

DURING the year ending on Sept. 30,
1901, there was shipped out of the state
of Iowa SO, 9,S60,645 pounds of butter, a
net increase of 4,425, $50 pounds over
the year previous.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE world is waiting in painful sus--
pense for the other millionaires to tyy"
to outdo Carnegie and Rockefeller Sza
giving away money to colleges. Bss.
the giving mania does not seem tssD
be contagious In millionaire circles.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

On February llth, 1902, coal was
first discovered in America. 1t was
first called "black rock" and when 1t
was discovered that the stuff would
burn there was great excitement.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

WATER will be supplied the Charles
ton Exposition by three artisan wells
over 400 feet deep. A salt water system
is provided for fire 7 rejection.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE Alps cover a space of $4,000
miles. In them rivers have their
source that flow into the North sea,
Black sea, and Mediterranean.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

ONE of the severest blizzards In years
passed over Michigan, New York and
Pennsylvania Monday.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE average consumption of beer by
the factory hand in Germany is nearly
a gallon a day, but in England it is still
larger.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

STAMP collecting in London is in
creasing every day. The very smart
est people are going after it.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE fourth is not the only district
that has a congressional scrap on.
Judge Prouty is making it pretty
warm for Capt. Hull down in the
seventh district. We hope, however,
that he will fail in his designs.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

In New York's zoo at Broux Park
the flying cage for birds is as high as
an Office building and covers an acre of
ground.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THERE are seventeen communities of
Shakers in the United States.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

COLORADO Springs has an old ceme-
tary for sale. Here is an opportunity
for some man who is looking for dead
sure thing.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

ONCE upon time there was man
named Bryan, who lived in Nebraska.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

The bill to repeal the war revenue
taxes passed the house Of representa-
tives on Monday.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

NEARLY half the Chinese seeking
admission to this country at San Fran.
cisco are refused.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

"DR." is an abreviation frequently
used to express the relationship of a
patient to his physician.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

A FARM was sold for $l05 per acre in
Delaware county last week.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

Ten minutes labor by one man is all
that is required to produce a bushel of
wheat. In 1880 it required three hours
and three minutes.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

A pair of old English brass andirons
or ''ffre-dogs" were sold for 2SO guineas
in London the other day.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE Hamberg-A American line now
has ninety-eight steamers.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

THE cost Of cable from Honolulu Is
put at $3,000,0O0.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19
G&Gc Chtmicm
PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY

The Only Ofhcial Paper Of Winnesheik
County and the City of Decorah.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1902-02-19

OLE p. ODE Mgr. Calmas Branch.