The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-09-30
A FAMILIAR TRANCE MEDIUM.

Speaking of Jags." said Whitney.
who had already outlasted most Of the
boosters, you fellows make me tired
| talking OF how 70 drink wh2Sy without
getting polluted You can't 80 IL. / tell
you because drunkenness IS al d ques-
ton OF degree. The man who takes one
nip al the red liquor and thinks himself
master OF the situation because ne can
walk just as straight or 4 little straigh1er
than before is all wrong. The man who
can lick up eighteen or twenty jiggers
! every twenty-four hours and yet remain
/ il. a sea-going condition. may say and
| believe that he never gets drunk, bur
he's got another guess coming.
4 for instance. used 10 think that.
because could always walk and talk
! straight. because L never failed 10 pass
| inspection at breakfast the next mora
irg that 1 wasn't q drunkard- But We
] changed my mind. II. / mean the red
| eye. Just happened 10 ahect me different
" from most men, and l was the envy OF
a lot OF ambitious booze lighters Until
found myself out and reformed-ny
opinions.
1T happened ike this. One fine morn
ing my mother who believed IN NE with
| Il blind faith almost equal 10 my own,
| handed me a check for so and asked me
! u have il cashed during the day and
| bring the money home to her. Well, il
/ happened TO be the last day Of the
! n.onth-pay day-and when I searched
| myself before leaving the office I had
/ 500 OF my own money and mothers $50
/ besides. When I'm coaled up like that l
always drop anchor at a few friendly
ports before I fix my course for home.
/ and 1 did il this time. But first I took
mothers $50, wropped it up carefully IN
9 bit of newspaper and tucked il away in
my fob pocket for safety. There's no use
l al a -rroa h1r hot
ing. because I wouldn't care to recall the
details If I could. and I couldn't When
1 m trimmed right and the breeze is
steady. I don't keep any long-boOk, my
memory lapses and my intellectual per-
formances may be represented as zero
minus nothing. But I always go home
straight, coherent as to my words and
motions. and bearing about me all the
outward. but misleading signs of being
endowed with human intelligence
The next morning after had realized
by partial experiments that the happiest
death of all must De TO drown in an
arctic ocean. l assembled my garments
and searched myself again. This is al
ways a sad duty-the next morning
found "a cents, seven drink checks, re-
turn card for the Alhambra theater.
celluloid billiard ball and the photo
graph Of a young lady whom I could not
remember 10 have met. That was all.
remembered the fifty wrapped up in
the piece of newspaper, but my fob
pocket was empty and I was face TO face
with the only reasonable exclamation Of
my loss. viz. I had spent it along with
my own hundred. That's another symp-
tom Of the sober jagster. l believe if
found million dollars tucked away in
my match pocket it would seem a per
rectly natural matter Of course, because
m always 50 cool in my cups. But now
I had to explain matters 70 my mother.
l knew father and my two sisters would
be at the breakfast table and I began
tu wish that I was an author Of popular
fiction. 1t took me about twenty minutes
to invent one, but then. with a serious
face, grave good morning and much
decorum. I strobe into the dining-room
and sat down. After while mother. no
ticing my unusual silence, glanced over
and said What's the matter, Don?
You look worried
1 admitted that I was worried cleared !
my throat, and with fine effect said. |
Mother. I've been robbed OF course |
they all looked at me in establishment /
and / came gamely up-stage to do my lit |
tie stunt. / made il as strong as |
thought necessary, and as I'm a big man !
physically and have the reputatiOn-espe- /
clally at home-of being quite a scrap /
per- I said that three men had wavlaid /
me about midnight in the dar shadows |
o. the Presbyterian church OF course. |
had to locate the affair in a nice |
neighbOrhocd. and, as ! told the story. l |
cculdn help admiring my own ingenuity, /
my dramatic tones and gestures. and the |
convincing plausibility OF the whole yarn. /
caught a fash of pride in my fathers |
eye as l related how I had feIled thu |
first ruffian with one blow of my fist.
and my older sister gasped with excite
ment as 1 described the ferocity with
which the second robber leaped upon my
back and tried TO strangle me while his
comrade searched me.