Omaha daily bee., 1902-06-02
REPARTBE AND coon MANNERS.
Samples of Vulgar Remarks that Pass
for wit. p

Among the thousands OF good stories In
circulation is one which should be told in
a cockney dialect about one AIRY, who
was famous for his repartee. No one
could get the better of AIRY. e was
quick as a flash, e was. For example:
One day AIRY went to the circus with is
Arriet. e was picked out by the clown,
who shouted. "Hah, there, AIRY. HI spies
we 'oldin 'snds with 'Arrieti"
But the clown wasn't a match for AIRY,
who fred right back. go to ell. you
blarsted fool cries AIRY to the clown,
"or Hill smarsh your facet AIRY was a
terror at repartee. e was quick as a
flash, q was. No one could get the bet
ter Of i'm.
This story, which is sometimes embel-
lished with profanity. says the San Fran
cisco Bulletin. illustrates the sort Of
repartee which too often wins a man a
reputation for wit. There are persons
whose station in life is higher than
'Arry's. but whose idea of repartee Is Of
the same stripe as that Of the cockney
in the story. These persons have a habit
Of making offensive and extremely rude
remarks which pass for witty repartee In
general and discriminating company. As
a rule this b~ludgeon wit provokes a laugh,
for the majority OF people will laugh at
anything that causes discontinue TO 9TH
ers. The horseplay comedy In which the
humor consists of smashing pies on the
faces Of the dramatis p%ersonae and throw
ing the buffo into a trough of real water
has never failed to amuse, and nine out
Of ten persons will guffaw to see a dig
nihed gentleman fall into a muddy puddle.
Bad manners in conversation should be
Alfalfa onIghaH fra1a uvif hui aaldaUn
and the gentleman must suffer eclipse now
and then from a louder and ruder, though
perhaps a duller man.
True wit is bitter and sharp only when It
is aimed against fraud. hypocrisy and
things really evil. The wit Of amicable de-
bate and ordinary conversation should not
violate the rules Of good manner Like
Samson, ! kill thousands at one blow" ex-
claimed Voltaire, facetiously, as he took q
bite of Limburger cheese at a dinner.
Like Samson-and with the same
weapon said a certain able at the table,
the cleverness of whose remark gained
nothing by its rudeness. But one can for
give a little rudeness in genuine wit. It
is against the ~saltless rudeness, the stupid
verbal bludgeoning which poses as wit. that
one protests most earnestly.
In congress the other day one Of the
members Of the lower house remarked that
his constituents approved of his conduct.
Then they are easily satisfied shouted
Mr.. Grosvenor. and there was a laugh. The
remark was not clever enough to make the
insult e~xcusable. Quite different was Tom
Reeds famous retort 20 the opponent who
detained that he would rather be right
than president. "Don't fear. sir" said
Reed, for you will never be either" A
harmless but genuinely witty remark was
that made by Rev. Sidney Smith, when he
had met with his vestry to consider ways
and means OF building a wooden walk about
the church. Gentlemen" said Smith. "1et
us put our heads together and we shall
have It."
wit is an acid. but 1t should be SO d.
Iuted with charity and good humor that
It will merely polish and not corrode.