davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
HUMOROUS.

An early crop-thc small boys first hSlr-cut.-Chicago Daily News.
 Nell-"He loves her for all he is worth, doesn't he?" Bell-"Yes, and for all she is worth h.''-Somcrvill Journal.
 Have you the same cook you had when I was here in the spring?" ANot by entecn."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 He-"He said he bought 25 tons of anthracite coal" She-"A million aire?" He-"No; liar.'-Detroit Free Press.
 ''Is this the cracked wheat, Jane?" II don't know, mum. ain't looked nt it or teched it; an if it's cracked it wuz cracked afore I como herc."- N. Y. Observer.
 "I may be rather dense," remarked the fish, as he struggled to free him- self from the hook that held him by the gills; "but can't see where the sport of angling comes in."-Boston Transcript.
 Witless--"T see the government is establishing free barber shops out West for the Indians" Wagg--"Well, it is due them. They gave the early settlers many a close shave. e."--Balti- more American.
 Bacon-"I can't for the life of me see what Penman saw in his wife to admire" "Egbert-"I guess you never heard her laugh, then?" Would man marry woman to hear her laugh?" Certainly. Pen man is joke writer."-Philadelphin Inquirer.
 She Tried.-"Bridget," inquired the mistress of the house, "were you entertaining a policeman in the kitchen last night?" "surc, num-" replied the cook lady, "'n' it's fer him t say how intertainin' oi, was. oi was doin' me bist."-Philadelpltia Bulletin, .-
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06

nuts. we were positively eng ged. The affair was only broken off last fall"
 "And were you sorry ?" asked her interlocutor
 1T guess" said Miss Van Zan, "I wasn't 50 sorry as John, anywayl"
 And where is John nowP" inquired Lord Pinehead, with tinge of jeal- ousy.
 "My!'' retorted the enchantress, s'you do ask questions. He's got cham bers on Broadway. an an apartmentin Paris, an shootin' lodge in the Rock ies, an villa on Como, an huntin'- box in England-and if he isn't located at one of those addresses. allow he's elsewhere. As for me, I'm at Pinehead castle in Devon. and do think the contrast between your red clay fields and your green trees and hedges"
 Is as charming a the contrast be- tween blue eyes and black hair2 I agree with you" said the infatuated young man.
 Miss Van Zan'S pearly cheek did not assume the faintesttint of rose. "Ohl guess I-don't admire myself much,' she said. "since I've seen your English beauties. Peaches, Iscal1 'em. Why, Lady Susan Wendover- that lovely, girl the society papers Say you're snx nzued to---n s--
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
sneed og sncinn C~mels.

The racing camel is very carefully bred and valuable prizes arc offered by racing society at Biskra fe- rns fleetest racer. have seen the start of q race and it reminded me, in far off sort of way, of horse race. The carnels were all arranged in line and they sniffed the air in their anxiety to be off. A flag was waved and they get off at terrible pace, as it they were only racing for short distance. They kept together until they were almost out of sight. Then they seemed to settle down to their habitual pace and the race proceeded with long in. terals between the competitors. have also seen the finish of Q camel race, and it reminded me of the first motor car promenade between London and Brighton. The camels were ccr- tainly not so broken down and bedrag- gled, but they came in at intervals of several hours and great patience was necessary to watch them arrivc- Pearson's Magazine.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06

she went back fo the house and looked up poppa in the library.
 "Have you had a successful time. pet ?" asked the parent, with out glanc- ing up from the Stock and Share col umn of the Times.
 1T guess so," said the daughter. She threw herself into lounge and crossed her lovely feet exquisitely stockinged and divinely shod-upon one of the awful bed footstools worked by Lady Pinehead in her youth. "It's fixed. anyhow. I've left him sorting his ideas in the garden" From what I know of the effeaA you comm only nave upon young men," said poppa, "I'should rather have sup posed his ideas were limited to one''
 "Come over and put it in my mouth, and light it for me- said his daughter. I'm too exhausted by being proposed to. to do it myself. Poppal" she resumed when the obedient parent had fulfilled her behest. "does q mis- tress of staghounds wear any k&t of uniform-in Ergland2 Because, If not, I'll have one designed right away. Pink, with diamond badge and topaz buttons would be elegant. Ard sil- yer-gilt horn with turquoises encrusted round the rim and an ivory mouth piece. Myl"
 She rose. and tripped across to the piano. and, sitting down. rattled out the opening verses of Well Hunt the Stag To-Day"
 masculine voice took up the bur den rather out of tune; masculine watch chain entangled itself in Miss Van Fans back hair as she leaned CO., quettishly against the. support af- forded by her admiring lover.
 "Only we're going to hunt him on Wednesday" said the charmer. giving Lord Pinehead a distracting glimpse of her eyelashes. You don't know how I'm longing for my first expert ence in really good English field"
 Darling" said her lover, nervously, "it goes to my heart to disappoint you, but the women of our family never hunt.'' They've been sinfully neglectful of their chances in life. then said Miss Wan Zan.
 And I could not-even for you," said Lord Pinehead, Ego against the accepted and traditional opinion of my family in the matter. It would be breach of rule which has not been broken since my ancestress, Lady Selina, fell from her jennet in view of the field assembled to hunt the stag at Routsham in the reign of Henry WILL"
 ..She ought to have been tied in her saddle, or labeled This side up, with care" said Miss Van Fan, before the stupid old thing was allowed out" That is neither here nor there,' said her lover, with frmness- My mother does not hunt
 .Ioo 5aan pouted Miss Van zan.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
WALKING THROUGH FIRE.
A Woman Tourist Describes nm Ex. perience in tine Crater of n
 Hawaiian Volcano.

Compared with the volcanoes in the Hawaiian islands, those in the West Indies are larger, and exhibit the phc. nomenon of nature on greater scale. The cone of Kilauea, in Hawaii, holds a lake of melted rock, the outlets of which are rivers of lava which gleam like molten silver. In "Fire Noun. tains" Miss c. F. Gordon-Cumming de- scribes her descent into the outer era ter.
 We took circuitous route to avoid the fiery breath of the sulphur cracks. Some of the cones are dome-shaped; others are more open, like witches caldrons, and curiosity compelled me to snatch a glimpse of the fiery broth within, although l knew that such stolen peeps were dangerous, as at any moment the wrathful spirits might drive away the intruder with shower of molten rock.
 "So numerous were the streams which intersected the bed of the crater on this side that it was necessary for the guide to keep ceaseless watch to guard against the possibility of our retreat being cut off. a.
 we took our stand on an elevated hummock of lava, and were thus raised to the level of the lake, which had very capriciously selected the highest por- ton of the crater, so that all the rivers flowed down over the steep bank.
 "Doctor Coan told me he had seen lava flowing at the rate of 40 miles an hour, rushing downhill through for ests on it's seaward way. confess watched this small, comparatively safe river with some trepidation.
 "So rapidly does lava cool that when we had gained sufficient confidence to follow our experienced guide, we were able to walk across many of the streams which only fewhours before had been liquid fire. We were walking on cool crust. As the streams of red fluid rock met the air they seemed to become coated over with thin, gleam- ing, silvery film, like that which forms on molten metal. It was gruesome to think what would befall us if the thin crust gave way beneath us. But re- fected that for love of wife and child our guide doubtless counted his own life precious, and so would not leaS us into real danger.
 Ut is strange how quickly one gets accustomed to new circumstances. When luncheon-time came it seemed most natural to sit on the ring of fire river, on hummock of lava, and enjoy our sandwiches while we watched the heaying, rushing lava roll and break into half-cooled cakes, to be swallowed and melted afresh in the fire stream which flowed within ten feet of us"
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
AsTON1sHED THE INDIANS.
Striking Effect of the Appearance of Captain Clark Among the Wa1~
 lawaIIns of Oregon.

It is small wonder that the first view of a white man created terror among the superstitious Indians. A striking instance of this occurred when the Wallawalla Indians first saw Capt. Clark, of the Lewis and Clark expedition. Thinking to pro- pitiate the savages and allay their fears of the white man, he planned to visit a village of Wallawallas be- fore the arrival of the rest of his party, says Youths Companion
 With this end in view, he set out to cross the Columbia river in a canoe, taking three men with him. On the way he shot crane and , duck, both of which fell near him. He landed before five wigwams placed close uo each other, but not person was visible, and the doors, which his pipe in hand, as an indication of good will, he pushed aside one of the doors and entered the lodge.
 Inside were 30 men, women and children, huddled together in terror. He went to them, shook each by the hand and said some kindly words, ex- pressing by word and manner his kindly feeling. Their apprehensions were alIayed until he took out his burning glass and lighted his pipe by the rays of the sun. Consterna- ton again prevailed, and what might have occurred but for the timely ar rival If two chiefs who knew the white men cannot be told.
 It seems that the Indians had not seen Capt. Clark, but they had seen the white crane which he had shot fall just before his appearance. They had also seen the duck fall at his shot. They connected the fall of the birds with his advent, and thought that he had fallen from the clouds.
 The sound of the rife, which they had never before heals, they believed was a signal to announce the white mans coming. Small wonder, then, that their hardly allayed fears were again aroused when he brought down fire from heaven by means of his burning glass.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
MA N

v
 ~1 should think you'd want to be- said Miss Van Zan, II should-if had been born to employ a tailor instead of a coutouriere." s.
 "I am devoutly glad" said Lord Pine head, "that fate destined you to wear train instead of tr-'' He pulled up.
 ''You just saved yourself" said Miss Van zan. .eWell, poppa $ visit and mine to this dear old place of yours comes to an end in another week I'm sure you've made us feel as if the place be- longed to .us."
 Make it yours" said Lord Pine head, bringing up at the end of the rose alley in which they were walking, with the proposal which Miss Van Zan had intended should be made be- fore they got back to the upper end. "Only if you take it you must accept 1t with its encumbrances. [ am one of them--the chief one.'
 "I guess can put up with you." said Miss Van Zan, and as the triumphant lover captured the lovely hand upon which the latest fashion in rings gilt tered and sparkled. she added to her self;- Mot forgetting the title" Then
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
WATERBURY FIRE ALARM.

4-Cor South Main and Grand sts.
 6-Scoyill Manufacturing 50. CD.
 6-Cor Bridge and AIagill stS.
 7-Exchange Place.
 72-Rogers & Bro. (P).
 13-Cor East Main and Niagara sts. 14-Cor East Main and Wolcott Sts. 15-Cor High and Walnut sts.
 16-COr East Main and Cherry sts. 17-Cor East Main and Cole sts. 21-Cor North Elm and IIingsbury sts. 2S-Burton street engine house. 24-Waterbury Manufacturing Go. (P), 25-Cor North Main and North sts. 26-Cor Buckingham and Cooke sts. 27-Cor Grove and Prospect sts.
 2S-Cor Hillside avenue and Pine st. 29-Cor Ludlow and N. Willow sts. S1-Cor Bank and GrGnd sts.
 C2-Cor Riverside and Bank sts. 34-Cor West Main and Watertown I'd 35-Conn R. Sc l.. Co car house. (P). S6-Waterbury Brass Co. (P). ST-Cor Cedar and BIeadow sts 3S-Cor Grand and Field sts.
 42-Cor South Main and Clay s.s. l3-New England Watch Co. (P). 45-Benedlct & Burnham Mfg Go. P3. 46-Waterbury Buckle Co. PI.
 47-Cor $. Main and Washington stS. 51-Cor Baldwin and River sts.
 b2-Cor Franklin and Union sts. 63-Watb'y Clock Co case fact'y. (P1. 54-Cor Clay and Mill sts.
 56-Cor Liberty and River sts. - 67-No 6 hose house.
 5S-Cor Baldwin and Stone sts. 6z-Cor Doolittle alley and Dublin st. 72-Cor West Main and Willow sts, 13-North Willowst.
 74--Cor Johnson and Waterville sts. I4l-Wolcott st, beyond Howard. 162-Cor East Main and WeltoE stss 212-The Platt Bros 6 Co. Pj. 2l3-Shoe Hardware Co. P>- 214-Wat'b.y Clock Go mr't fact'y- P). 216-Cor North Main ana Grove sts. 251-Cor Round Hill and Ward sts. 26l.-Juhction Cooke and N. Main sts. 272-Groye, bet. CeIs,ral & Holmes avs. 311-S. \. E. Teephone Co bd'g. (Pl. 3l2-Cor Banf and Meadow sts, 312-Randolph x Gloves (P). .' 314-Plume & Atwood. P). 815-American Ring Co. (P). 316-Conn R. & l.. power house. PJ. SlS-Holmes, Booth & Haydens. (PL 32l-No hose house
 323-Cor Wash'g'n ave and Porter st 324Cor Charles and Porter sts. ; 325-Cor Simons~ st and Wash'g'n ave. S71--City Lumber and Coal Co. (P). '4I2-Tracy Bros. (Pl.-
 482-Cor Liberty and South Main sts. s451-Steele & Johnson Mfg Go. tP). i6S2--Cor Baldwin and Rye 1ts. 1<
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
A FuII Stop.

She Did your father give you a check when you told him you wanted to % on the excursion we were talking about?
 He-A check! He gave me Q full stop. He declined to give me dollar.-Bos- ton Transcript.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
A SmdGen Death.

Tcurist--I had friend named Robb who died somewhere in this neighbor- hood of bronchitis.
 Cactus Cal Bronkytus? That's new one on me, pardner.
 Don't you understand? Throat trouble"
 "H'm, yes; I kinder ketch yer mean in now. His throat trouble was due to a broncho, sure enough. ."-Catholic Standard and Times.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
cnndItllnnaI.

Suburban Knight Errant-I would like to take care of your furnace this winter.
 Suburban Lord-All right, but be- fore giving you the job just give me a chance to see if I can get any coal to run it with.-N. Y. Herald.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
Irnorance ar T:ourists.

10 show the ignorance of many tour ists regarding the dangers of Alpine climbing, dispatch from Zermatt states that gentleman was recently, met starting by himself for "stroll''t up the Matterhorn with an umbrella in his hRpdk <
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06

s'Well?" Lord Pinehead's tone was chilly and the bright eyes of Miss Van Zan sparkled more mischievously through her eyelashes, as she replied:
 ''Well. I did!"
 And made strong running, I sup pose"
 We'd always been thick" said Miss Van Zan, since John was Harvard student and I was girl attending lecture classes with a pigtail tied up with ribbon. But we concluded to be something nearer than friends before the day was over, and when we lighted down at farmhouse to get drink of molasses and water and some dough-
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
The nrnI rhinn.

Biff-I understand Windig has quito reputation as an extemporancou speaker.
 Bang-That's what. When 1t comes to {. talking fiuently about nothing with out any previous preparation Windig is in a class all by himself Chicago Daily News.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
Chocolate WnInutlx

Take English walnuts, chop finely, spread on buttered dish, melt sweet chocolate and turn over them. Pea nuts will do nicely; cut in squares WhiIe Karm.r-Ro Globe.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
MANAGING A M IAN How New Girl Her Own Way with an Enq1ish Titled Fiance, As Viewed Through
 the Eyes of C1o. Graves, the Famous
 Enalish Authoress and Dramatist.
 20 HUNT the stag in the real

|
 MSNA old English way, on real old K dSh N English ground, said Miss &NMZK Van Fan. sparkling up at .a5SSNszS= Lord Pinehead through her
 A double thicket of black eye lashes and smiles.
 Do you ride to hounds in New York state?" asked that young gentleman. rather fatuously.
 '.We have paper drag-hunts that are real enjoyable if not mighty exciting. and latterly the club has imported 16 couple of real English foxhounds. The trouble about them was, that they wouldn't chase anything but fox; and the foxes we'd imported on pur- pose-such common little thingsl- had no idea of running in country they didn't know. Besides, the passengers on the liner had spoilt them so with sweet biscuits and chicken wings that they were too corpulent for exercise. So we got a nigger and red herring one of your real old English high-dried sort-and the nigger engaged for five dollars to drag 1t over the ground we'd fixed on, and the meet was arranged : There were 24 members of our hunt club, ladies and gentlemen all turned out by frs t-rate sporting sartorialists. And won't say.in light green cloth with orange facings and special but ton. but what the style was real hand soma. It was real splendid day, with blazing sunshine, and when that nigger broke covert and ran-we didn't want any English dogs to smell for us that herring seemed to our Ann eri- can noses to flavor the whole country for miles"-the pretty nose of the nar- rator wrinkled astidiousIy and John B. Aiding, the smartest and best got up member of the hunt club, turned his horse right round. Where are you going?' called out. for the whole hunt was Streamin' up q risin' ground lob leanin' out of their saddles and sniff1n' the air. and the nigger was melting into the perspective like a liquorice drop on hot stove lid.
 sWhere2 Miss HattieP says John B. Why, guess I'm going tohunt out part of the landscape for myself that don't perfume of British bloater --an' if you like, you can come alongi'"
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06

There is lame stag amongst the herd which frequents the bosky woods of the Corner Valley. He is fat nd heavy animal, never molested by hound or scared by horn, and in winter he new his acquaintance with its mistress and be liberally treated with the sugar, bread and carrots--for which he con- ,racted penchant during his conval. essence. But her ladyship follows the example of her predecessors, and does not even rice to the meet.
Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-06
TIME TABLE.

Naugatuek Road Going South-6:35. 7:55, HIS a. m.; 40, 3:05, 4:40, 6:15 and 500 p. m.
 Sunday trafns-7:O5 a. m.; 5:1o and 500 D. m. Hs-g { Naugatuck Road Going North-s:2 :2S 1O:55 a. m.: $40, GAS and S:4S D. m. Sunday trains-9:48 a. m.; 7:52 p. m. Watertown trains-6:45, BPS, 11:17 D. m.; 80, 3:45, 500, 6:12, 6:53, S:53 and 11:2o p. m.
 Sunday trains-9:53 a. m.; s:03 D. m. Highland Division, Going East zoo, s:3s am; 12:SS, 3:30, s:07 pm. Sunday Trains Going East-8:30, a0O5 a.m.; 2:0O, 5:05, TOO pm.
 Highland Division, Going West 6:15 a. m.;; 1:50 and 6:24 p. m.
 Dublin Street Station for Meriden and way stations-9:05 a. m.: 6:15 p. m. Dublin Street Station for New Haven and way stations-7:00, S:43, 11:1O am; 1:50 and 4:04 pm.
 Sunday Trains for New Haven and Hay stations-7:50 ann; $50 pm.
 Store and 5-ROOm Tenement on North Main street for sale cheap on easy terms or will trade.
 W.P. JARRETT. Real Estate,
 65 Bank Street. Room IS
The Topeka state journal., 1902-12-11

Mr.. Stevenson is a member of the West
ern Passenger association and the or
ganizer of the Young Mems Presby
terian union of Chicago. This organi-
zation includes large number of prom
inent Chicago men and has received ex-
tended mention by the papers of that
city. He is highly commended by the
leading men in the Presbyteria.lr /.
conference is simply for advancing the
interests of the church in Topeka.
The wife of NJ. A. Barber. assistant
professor of botany in the State Uni
versity at Lawrence, is reported to have
wandered away from home, supposedly
during a fit of mental aberra ton. 1t is
supposed that she is wandering about
the country somewhere. She is 80 years
old, weighs 125 pounds and is five feet
seven inches high and she may be in
Topeka.
Richard Wilson, a Santa Fe conduc-
tor living in this place, fell from a
freight car at Emporia junction. We'd
nesday forenoon, breaking his left wrist.
Wilson entered the car to assist in moy-
ing some merchandise about and while
at work somehow slipped, falling back
ward and throwing his whole weight
upon the left arm. After the accident
he returned to Emporia where DR. ia
cobs cared for the injury. He was sent
to his home here and Conductor Reese
relieved him on the run into Topeka.
William Bonelli. who is starring this
season in Janice Meredith" to be seen
at the Grand Saturday matinee and
night, has the reputation of beins
physically the strongest actor on the
state. He is a graduate of Columbia
college. and still holds the record fol
weight lifting without harness. He was
the only rival in the athletic contests OF
Malcolm Ford a brother of Paul
Leicester Ford, the murdered author o.
the play in which he is this season ap
pearing, and has ever since remained il
daily training
The Topeka state journal., 1902-12-11
TO PURIFY ATHLETICS.
Yale and Harvard Will Make New
Schedule of Rules.

New York, Dec. 11.-Plans are under
way at both Harvard and Yale to come
to a mutual agreement during the COM
ing Christmas holidays regarding both
"A new schedule of athletic meets be-
tween the two universities and new
set of eligibility rules, says Times dis
patch from New Haven, Conn.
From what can be learned in unoni-
cial channels, it is proposed to work OUT
a new set of rules that will be identical
for both Harvard and Yale. and will
limit the candidates for the various
varsity teams to students who are bona
fide candidates for their first college OF
professional sc!sool degree.
The result of the present system has
been that several athletic teams, notably
football elevens, at all of the large uni
versities in recent years have drawn to
a large extent on graduates of western
colleges for their star men to the ex-
clusion of undergraduates in their own
institutions. and has made it possible for
mature athletes from small colleges 70
enter into sports where they meet un-
dergra duates on opposing teams from
five to ten years their junior 1t has
likewise brought about several most IN
pleasant tiffs between Yale and Har-
ward, and it has brought to the proaes-
sional schools of both universities a set
of men who come for almost the sole.
purpose Of entering athletics
The Topeka state journal., 1902-12-11
BEET SUGARFACTORY
Arkansas River Towns Are in Compe-
tition for a Plant.


Garden City, Kas., Dec. Ito such
an extent has the beet sugar industry
grown in western Kansas during the
last year that a contest over the loca-
ton of a beet sugar factory has already
sprung up among the towns along the
Arkansa river. The owners of factor
les in Colorado have not approached the
cities yet for inducements or PROPOSE
tions on the subject of esta blishing fac
tories, but the growth in the industry
has caused the towns to prepare for the
coming of capital
The cities and towns already entered
in the contest are Wichita, Hutchinson,
Lakin, Deerfield and Garden City. 4
factory established in Hutchinson or
Wichita would do little damage to the
interests of the other three towns that
want it, but should one be established
town would take a front rank among
the places in the western part of the
state
The enterprising residents of the coun-
ties in the western part of the state
which have been found to be adapted to
the culture of beets have begun to offer
the farmers inducements to increase
their beet yields. 1t is believed if it can
be demonstrated to the capitalists that
beets can be grown well in this part
of Kansas as they can in eastern Colo
RADIO that they will have no hesitancy
in esta tablishing factories here. All Of
the counties where beets can be grown
are preparing for a contest next year
for supremacy in the industry.