Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-09-18

As they reckon time: "How long h,,
she been on the stage?" "Onlv shan,
three dlvorces."-Chlcago Recon.Hs,
aid.
Some one has named a cigar ,,,,.
Mary MacLane. 1t emits a blue fan
and sulphurous smoke.-St par,
Globe. a
Nathan Hale is reportebto have said.
81 am sorry that | am hot a car 80
could give nine lives to my country y.
Harvard LampOon.
"Noodelles never dlsagrees with an,
body" Yes; that's what makes II :,
disagreeable to have him around y
indianapolis News.
Father-"Well my son, what did vou
learn ut school to-day?" Little proo
tor-"Not to sass Tommy McNuttm-
Chicago Daily News.
Bragge-'I was knocked senseleSs hv
cricket-ball two years ago" The bov
in the corner-'When does yer exneck
ter get over it?"-Tit-Bits.
Truths echo: "Good men. YOU knov
are scarce" Yes. know, and evs,
bad men have to make themselves 81
at times. Boston Courier.
The optimist: Grandpa-"Wen. Hoc
ace, we haven't caught any fish; II,
hard lines" Horace-"But we had good
luck digging worms. Chicago News
Pugilistic.-Nell-"Did Miss Bllyum,
act as If it was severe blow when she
didn't get the prince" Bele-"Yes,
she took the count. "-Phlladelphh
Record.
Sunday-schOol teacher-"And so Lofts
wife was turned to salt Can any one
tell why?" Wicked Willy from the
rearl-"She was too fresh."-Harvan
Lampoon.
ardhead-"Well, every man has
right to his opinion" Pepprey-"Yes,
but the trouble is he can't be made to
realize that there may be a wrong to
1t. t."-Philadelphia Press.
THAT author keeps his identity close.
ly concealed" "Yes," answered Miss
Cayenne; until read his books
thought 1t was due to modesty." ''Isn',
it?" mo. Discretion. ashingtOn
Star.
Far from 1t: Girl with the Gibson.
girl neck-"Fan Billiwink has begun TO
show her age, hasn't she" Girl with
the Julia Marlowe dlmple-"I should
say not. She's begun to try to hide it"
Chicago Tribune.
1t was her first ride in an automobile
and she was deeply interested in the
horn that was used to notify people to
clear the way. Papa" she SAID
"Well?" he returned. make It snOre
some more. e."-Chicago Post.
Haven't you read that lovely new
novel?" asked the first summer girl
NO" replied the other, "the only edl'
tion of it I've seen has hOrrd yellow
cover that doesn't accord with any OF
my gowns. ."-Philadelphia Press
Sociable: "Well, WELL" remarked
Farmer Horntop at the Zoo, this here
lion pears to be real goOd-natured.
"Mebbe," suggested his good wife, IT'S
one o. them social lions We read ABOUT
in the papers. ."-Philadelphia Press
This is a remarkable climate" SAD
the tourist. "It is" answered the oa
settler. Ever since have been mere
have wondered how a climate coua
change so many times day and every
time for the worse" Washington Sla''
Upgardson-"I hear there Is some
complaint that the continual dampnes,
is rendering many pianos useleSs'
Atom-"I have heard of its ruinlnS
great many pianos, but haven't nea,u
any complain about it."-Chlcago lE'V
une.
The superintendent-"N cnlluieL
why do we love to go to the beaull'u'
parks? What do we find there tna' !
always fresher and purer than II -
the clty?" Truthful Tommy WV.
cheerful promptness)-"Pop'corn' s"'
Elk.
"Yes, count, in all the park there ,,' :
no place | like so well as under ~,
old, old tree" (Sighing sentimen'An',
There are tender associations Nv
see." "Aha. comprehend, man Sew
You have yourself planted the pie''
Punch.
81 can't imagine anything mole 4
satisfactory than meal at our yO
ing house." said the chronic AN
mo" replied the impressionaoie .Vp u;
man. evidently you never gol
from your best girl over the teiepD'D
Philadelphia Press. -,
How does it come you resisneu n,
position 5as office boy?" Inquirer y, -
gentleman of little Jimmie; "diun .iid 1s
like your employer" Yes r.ptI h"t /
Jimmie, 81 like him well enul' w. n
didn't like tn brand Nv sees
smokes" "-Ohio State Journal
Baker-"Didn't see you in your as "a,
mobile yesterday" Butler n "s,hlv,
because was under 1t ptoO1t o,t
That's where spent the grea.el po ,ort
of the day, fixing things that hausu ~, 81.
of kilter don't know as l sna Mi