Evening journal., 1902-03-31
HOW A USURPER OF MODERN TINES
GIVES AUDIENCE TO HIS SUBJECTS
A True Story Of Recent Gathering Of Edward
The Gas King, and His Court, Not For.
getting His Jester

Ia wave and a flourish the young gal
liant took his seat.
Next appeared before the King NV
Lord Bradley, high chancellor and
keeper of the Kings conscience. who.
laying the great seal of his office be-
fore the throne. begged to return his
commission. remarking that 1t was a
job requiring greater powers than his"
The King refused to listen to the
prayer, saying that to be keeper OF the
royal conscience was a high honor,
and since none other could be found TO
undertake the job, he thought Lord
Bradley had better remain. The King
ended by dryly remarking; ''your
title is honorary anyway, and I'll give
you leave Of absence for a few
years and attend to the duties of the
office myself"
AT this point the real business of the
meeting began, and the Bill of Rights.
containing the demands of the people
OF the realm. was brought forth and
solemnly laid on the table.
The Kings face went pale, but he
forced a CHASTITY smile, and commanded
the Duke Of Dover to read the docu-
ment 1t ran:
Edward the Pretender, Autocrat
and Usurper:
We demand thy abdication forth
with. Thou hast despoiled our people.
debauched the public conscience, and
refused us our rights Thou hast
drawn to thy service sundry camp
followers. adventures and beach
combers. all IN thy pay, and doing
thy duty for hire.
We demand thy .abdication. and If
1t is not forthcoming. we propose TO
wipe up the streets with thy fair and
illustrious carcass. Git"
The shadows in the room deepened.
breathing had ceased The grand
Marshall, Sir Web Blakeley and NV
Lord Groves. were sobbing In a bunch:
the house shook as these mountains
duivered, and the tears rained down
the cheeks Of Sir Bob. Mcfarland till
the tobacco stains were erased from
the corners Of his mouth.
But at this fateful moment, Little
Frank stepped forward, and presented
a resolution that saved the day Thus
is read:
"We admit that our sovereign is
usurper, that he is. and has done all
that the charges claim, but our allie
glance is secure. He has taken us
from the low places of earth and made
us noble. These garmente we wear
are due to his bounty; the food we ate
for dinner. the cigars we are now
smoking are from the hand OF orr
gracious master
I'VE should gain nothing by desert
ing him. since we we're nothing in the
beginning and without his supporting
hand we should sink back to our nor
NAL level.
Therefore, while we know his reign
will be short. and that there will be
something doing soon, yet we propose
to fatten while 1t lasts"
This was accepted amid general
acclaim; the King arose and, Sir.
John Taylor. Sir. Frank Ewart, Isaiah
BrazuFe. Esq, and the Hon. Frank
Ewing. bearers of the royal train,
stepped to their places, and the audi
ance was at an end. The King as
sumed his disguise and passed the
writ-server in the street unrecognized,
and the mobiles retire to the ale
houses, where they INDUCED in huge
Dotatious of sack.
The story should end just here, but,
alas! truth must be spoken; as his
majesty moved along the street he
met the Hon. Sam. Knox face to face.
He started, and as he drew back the
mask fell from his face. The writ
server gasped and then sprang for
ward and proceeded to read mis- writ.
He had served his summons, and the
flag on the castle was placed at half
mast. as the fallen monarch treaded
the ties on his homeward journey.
Bill Parsons.