The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-08-29
story of His Giving Up Plotting to
Become a HumOrist.

story of His Giving Up Plotting to
Become a HumOrist
From the St. Louis Globe Democrat.
What Caused Mark Twain to Leave
the River, or Why Great Humorist
Did Not Become a Second Jim Blud-
So, is one of the books that has never
ceen written by Samuel L. Clemens,
or anyone else.
According to the authorities, Mark
Twain never became full-fiedged
pilot and never stood a night watch
alone. In other words, while he had
a pilots license, his mastery of the
great river craft on which he rode was
always limited by the understanding
that an older and more experienced
head was within easy call. This was
no discredit to the young pilot.
On the occasion i'll question-it mat
tiers not what the year or boat-the
steamer to which young Clemens was
attached aB cub pilot was bound up
the stream with heavy cargo of cot
ton. At the officers table the first
day out from Natchez, Miss, the talk
turned upon what to do in sudden
emergencies, and especially in case Of
fire on a steamer loaded with cotton
The matter was discussed in all it's
bearings each of those present giving
his ideas upon the subject. Mark
Twain, like most of the others, held
to the notion that it was the pilots
duty in such an emergency to emulate
the now famous Jim Bludso and hold
her nozzle to the bank till the last ga
loOt's ashore" Immediately after din
ner CJsmens went to the pilot house to
stand MS watch.
Among those at the table was the
assistant engineer, young man whose
experience of life had taught to carry
out the projects of its more boastful
moments. He went below at the same
time Mark Twain went aloft, but the
two continued to think of the conversa-
ton just closed. The more the en-
gineer thought about it the less credit
he was disposed to give to the cub
pilots scheme, however, nice it might
appear in poetry or in newspapers.
Everyone knows the pilot house and
engine room of a steamboat are con-
nected not only with bells for signal
ing, but with speaking tube, through
which the important functionaries who
operate above and below can discuss
the weather and politics in their spare
moments. The mouth of the tube at
the upper end is but little larger than
the human mouth. but in the engine
room it has the shape of a funnel as
the assistant engineer was bordering
the emergency question he was also
| wiping off a portion of the machinery
with a bunch of cotton waste. and
as he reached the mouth of the speak
ing tube it was the work of but a
| moment to touch match to the inf1am-
mable material in his hand and thrust
| it EAR into the tube.
No one saw the act bit everybody on
board heard from it in about a min
ute. Mark Twain, alone in the pilot
house and still pondering the dire
| things he had heard from the older
hands about the horrors of burning
steamboats,. especially when they hap
| pened to be loaded with cotton, was
Mortified to see the smoke pouring from
his end of the speaking tube. There
was but one thought in his mind. The
boat was on fire. Dropping the wheel,
which spun around and around as it
left his hand. he grasped the rope by
which the big bell was sounded and
|