The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-09-13
HAS TO TAKE TOTHE TREE
Bold Drummer Forced to Beat a Re
treat Before Bruin, Leaving
Women to Their Fate.

Teller what's got it all framed up how he's
gon ter handle wen he mixes with quick
Emergency s the very Teller what climbs tree
Wen it draps down OH I'M; Teller what don't
make plans ahead but butts in n grabs it by
the neck Wen it does show up 8 the Teller wins.
out.-Philosophy of Mr.. Wheaton. 80
Had good knight Of the road not a
stand and deliver hero Of the mask and
repute, who made this town recently,
been wise to the good sense contained
In the above-quoted utterance of the
Sage of Grand Rapids, he would have had
better sport during little outing he took
between business conclusion, and train
time, and not become the sport of every
scoffng tongue in the community. But
he wasn't, more's the pity, and this Is
what he went up against .- Ea. r
This has been a great season for berries
in this country; from the delicate little
will stra wberry-finest fruit the wide world
hOlds-tO the meek and lOwly BURBERRY,
woods have literally been full of them and
the household that is shy" of preserves
this winter will be so only because it was
equally so of pickers this summer. OF
course all the ladies Of the good town "got
busy" in due season, and as soon as the
drummer "got wise to the fact, he
Quilted in -..S
He didn't want any berries, but, like
all his clan, he was fond Of the ladies, and
the ease with which he caught on to a
party of four Of the handsOmest girls in
town who were going out after blueber-
ries, was a source of both wonder and in
dignation to sundry village SWANS who
wanted to do likewise, but lacked the
sand"
Now there is famous BURBERRY ground
near Lilly lake. about two miles from
town, to which his fair convoy were
bound, and when two boys who attached
themselves to the company, delivery
themselves of story of a bear bigger'n
Emil Litchlses cow, that was prancfn'
round, an q eatin' more blueberries n
four men could pick every day. thereby
throwing the ladies into a flutter of ap-
prehension, the gallant man Of calico re-
assured them with the information that
he was prepared for any such emergency;
that he rather enjoyed encounters with
the bear tribe, than otherwise; that he
had already come off victorious with RI
diculous ease in several such; and with
many other items calculated to enhance
his value as an escort, which were on the
whole perhaps more tellable than true.
course our Mercator never dreamed
that the boys had seen bear, or anything
like one, nor does it seem likely. in view
of his own Subsequent proceedings" that
he had ever beheld a live one himself,
unless in captivity; but all the same, the
opportunity for a display Of valor was
to good to be lost, and he exhibited a
| beautifully made, pearl-handled 80 he car.
ried, and thrsted rather too eagerly for
the battle with bruin, considering the
country he was in, and the disconcerting
| way Major Ursus has of showing up in
the most unexpected places, and at tho
| most awkward times for those he visits.
Now, a 80 Of good make and in competent
| hands, is no weapon to sneeze at, in
| inc 70 h.
ers it is but futile, and worse still when
a bear is the target. AS this good drum
| mer was due to demonstrate that very
| afternoon, though little he dreamed of it.
The merry party reached the Norway
| barren, where the ground was literally
hidden from sight by the clumps of laden
| BURBERRY bushes, and fell to picking, eat
4 ing, flirting and generally having a good
| time after the usual fashion, and Oul
| drummer was in his glory, and felt that
| life was indeed worth the living, and the
Fates as good to him as they ought tt
| be, if only for that once. And SO the
! sunny hours sped, pals were filled anc
| the picking party gradually neared 6
! thicket near the lake, where the berry
laden bushes grew in greater profusior
| than anywhere else-and then came a. false
note in the flow of harmony.
| There was strange, unearthly whistle
a shrek from four combined feminine
voices, a deep-toned "woof!" and the
drummer, who had his back turned a
the critical moment, hurriedly faced
around and gazed right into the eyeball:
| of a monstrous black bear, which hat
emerged from the thicket and was as in
tent on the berries as the merry part,
he had sent into a panic. Now, in sucl
cases there are two things to do by wa.
of proper dealing with Major Ursus. On
is to let him severely alone, when he will
generally return the complement, and g
off about his business; the other Is to Kill
him; but, as the woods lore has it, tina
is a mans job, and should not be rashl,
; undertaken.
AS Mr.. Wheaton concise1y puts ii
"Thar's a whole lot O. human natur' 'bou
a. bear; f you let him lone, even f h
rars up n growls at We, he'll skip soon
he see you know 'nough to min your owl
bizniz, an amt goin' ter medic wit
his'n. But # you go monkeyin 18th hin
he's mighty apt to hand you one'-and
might add that, if he Glands you one,
the chances are that there will be SINAI
need for a second.
But the drummer didn't know this, an
opened up with the 80, >emptied it, hi
good angel sending all the shots wide, an
then, to the JOY Of his convoy, who ha
scampered to a safe distance and pause
to see him STAY bruin, took to his heels
reached a clump of small trees, an
"skinned' up one, while the bear quietl
stumbled off in the opposite direction
There are some things too awful for de
scription, so the reader must imagine tn
rest-but he has "cut OUT Grand Rapid:
&C. c. Kelly.
SEASON Is A SUCCESS.
JnIe Oh In,