The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-09-26
FAMILIAR FABLES

FAMILIAR FABLES.
A Woman who was Away Up in Society
vas so unhappy As to be the Wife OF a
| H3an who ate with MS Knife. II vain his
. wife instructed the Butler 70 Place an
Assortment or Forks al Her Husband 5
Plate and no Knife, that Obstinate Man
insisted On having the Deficiency sup
! Piled. thus greatly Annoying his Wife,
| especially When Company was Present
is it a Criminal ohense for A Man 70
Eat with his hnife?' he asked.
1T Should be" His Wife retorted Tart
~ Any Man who puts \ Knife into His
mouth IS Not a TT Person 10 be received
into General Society. No Gentleman
/ would Ever want 10 eat With his Knife. "
And yet" said Her Husband. thought
fully, 1T is a Historical Fact that the
| Great Daniel Webster ate with his
Knife"
We'll. You are not 4 Daniel Webster
and Times are Different I nope that At
| Dinner tonight You Will Eat everything
With q Fork. because I have invited
some very Smart People. ii will Spoil all
/ Ny Pleasure If I See you Shoveling Youf
Food into your Mouth with A Knife"
The Man who ate with his Knife prom
I ised that He would Try 20 Remember the
/ Fork Business. and the First Course being
! Oysters, he managed TO Get Through very
/
! He still Clave 10 his Fork and made such
! Dreadful work of II that His Wife Dis
! covered His mistake and Shook her Head
| reprovingly. But He persevered until His
! Plate was removed. His wife was Dread
| fully mortified, for the Lady who sat
nearest to Her was \ Snobby Snob. and
| Asked in a Voice all could Hear:
1 rs it The latest Thing from Paree to
] Eat Soup with a Fork"
BEING Ortfct<-vxirfnd The Wife Instantly
replied: rs it possible that You are Not
! Informed? I Am Surprised. Eating Soup
with \ Fork is An American innovation.
and My Husband being an Up-tO- Date
man, has introduced the Fad at our Ia
| bic. Not being So Advanced Myself.
have Not yet Taken it up. 1t requires
some Practice. but He has caught the
Knack very Happily
And the Company unanimously Declared
! that the New Custom was Dear and
Sweet, and before They slept that night
had Ordered Soup Forks. and the Man
who Ate with his Knife was saved by the
Superior Wit of his Wife in playing on
the Credulity Of her social OUTFIT.
Moral-The
The Faddest Fad will not have Long to
Wait,
Ere Fools rush in to Watch and Initiate
The owner Of A Camel's Hair Shawl. a
garment greatly TO Be desired in Days
that are Past. was much Distressed to
have such a Fine Article Of Apparel laid
away as q Remnant of former SplendOr
Her Husband suggested that She wear it.
Not for Farm" She retorted. When
I want 10 Publish My Age to the world /
viii wear A Cancels Hair Shawl. But I
would like to make it useful 1t cost A
Lot of money and was Once the Hand
scmest Thing out, but now 1t is neither
Useful Nor Ornamental Besides the
Craze for those Foreign Exhibits is dead
and Not likely ever to be Revived"
1T Would make A Boss piano cover
said her Husband, examining the Fabric
Carefully.
Just the Thing" answered His Wife
Il wonder why l Never Thought of that
I can Get over the Age question by
calling 1t an Heirloom" And She pro-
ceeded to Drape the Piano with Artistic
effect
But she soon learned that What Fash
ion deposes as Raiment cannot be Re
ibcarnated as Furniture. Her Friends
would have None of il. and The unkind
things They said would have made \
Camel kick.
"Of course They're going Down in the
Grid" They said. when She has to
Use an Old Shawl for Piano Drapery
Where Did She get the Old Thing. any
way? 1t must have Come over in the
Ark
So the Camel's Hair Shawl was bundled
back to Obscurity as A Relic of The
Past that had No longer either Beauty
or Utility.
Moral
When the Old Fashions you Must put
away.
Remember that Each one has had Its
Day.
Once there was a Man who married A
Widow. Shortly after the Honeymoon
She introduced Her first Husband into the
Family Circle and made things lively bv
Perpetually uoting Him as A shining Ex-
ample for Spouse number Two Her
first Husband had been Angelic in Dispo-
sition, the most Generous Of Men. Al
ways allowed Her to do Exactly as She
pleased, and never gave Her an unkind
Word
One Day when Husband number Two
was Seriously III. She was much Surprised
to have Him refuse all the Remedies
which She was Anxious to give Him to
Relieve his pain.
My first Husband never refused Any
thing at my Hands, She declared.
Did YOU Dose Him with draughrs And
pills like these" asked Number Two.
Yes, and he took Them like An An
gel
And you made all His Soft Drinks and
Chicken Tease
Yes. and the Dear Man drank Every
Drop and called For more"
Well said the Invalid. determined 10
Ciose Past Accounts for Good and All
Look where He is Now"
Moral
Comparisons Are odious; Soon we find
Past blessings Should be in the Past en-
shrined.
NJ L. RAYNE.