Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-05-05
TOPICS OF THE TIMES

The Williamsburg Journal-Tribune
tells of a farmer who went into his COW
yard one morning last week and found
tered the animal n sold his scalp.
The story reads like one of
Aesop's fables without the moral.
Canada takes the lead in proposing
an imperial tariff system which will In
effect mean the British empire against
the world" Such an arrangement
would be logical, and might be profita-
BILE to Canada, but how would it affect
the laboring classes of England and
Scotland?
A southern Indiana society has writ
ten thus to Senator Depew: Dear Mr.
Depew-We are getting up a negro
minstrel show for the purpose of buy
ing a set of colored dishes for the Bap-
fist church. We are to have four end
men, two of whom are women. and n
interlo-you know who I mean q can't
spell it, who sits in the middle. We
need a lot of new, decent jokes, so as
not to shock. There are lots of old
women in our church. Won't you sit
down and write us about fifty good,
new jokes, some things that have new
er been used before. Make them split
ters,' as this show is for a new set OF
dishes for the Baptist church. Please
grind them out as soon as possible n
| send them to me. up. S.-We will put
on the program: ..All these original
jokes were made up by Chauncey De-
pew That will pay you for the work"
The advance sheets of the new joke
book are not as yet in the printers
hands, and it is possible that the Bap-
lists referred to are still eating LAP
suppers."
Some one has suggested that Mr..
Carnegie is quite as well qualified to
run a newspaper IS Henry Watterson
would be to operate a steel factory.
A Pennsylvania church next Sunday
will pay 157 red roses as rental due the
descendants of Caspar Wister, who a
century and a half g was a manufac-
turer in Philadelphia. In 1745 Caspar
| Wister gave 100 acres of land to the
trustees of the church, they to pay for
1t one red rose annually. The church
seems to have allowed it's rent to fall
in arrears.
Governor Stanley, of Kansas, eulog-
izing the prohibition law. asserts that
thousands of young men in Kansas
never saw a saloon and will, therefore
avoid 1t. Let's see! They call them
clubs In Kansas do they not?
Now that the real cause of the ex-
plosion on the submarine boat Fulton
Is fully known, several ways of pre-
venting a repetition of the accident
suggest themselves. Better methods OF
keeping the %sulphuric acid in the stor-
age batteries from stopping over can
undoubtedly be devised with ease. Ex-
plosions on submarine ships are par
ticularly efficient as thought producers.
Necessity becomes the mother Of in
vention in such cases. If ever.
An Iowa City college professor is SER
iously sick from eating freely of canned
veal. Such extravaganza in a state
university teacher passes all bounds.
$50
The police court cases growing out of
the street car pistol play of Senator
Money Of Mississippi have been post
poned on the plea Of sickness entered
b, the senator's attorneys. The coun-
try at large might properly plead a lit
tie nausea.
The Indians Of the Sac and Fox
tribes In Iowa are up in arms against
fumigation and various regulations of
the state board of health. No doubt
they will be compelled to submit to
such treatment as may be necessary to
save them from the ravages of pesti-
lence, but If hordes of garrulous bar
bers are let loose upon them with or
ders to cut short their cherished scalp
locks, or If they are to be subjected to
such indignities as forcing them to
wear "stovepipe' hats, "swallowtail"
coats and plymouth Rock pans" will
there not be some excuse for them If
they resist to the last gasp?" asks the
New York Tribune.
Warrensburg, Mo-, following the ex-
ample of an Iowa town as recently
cited in the news columns Of the 1.-R.,
has licensed three saloons, each Of
which pays $4,000 annually into the
treasury. They comply with all Of the
laws requirements and aid in it's en-
forcement, keeping out jointists and
bootleggers. of all kinds. Warrensburg
believes its system to be as near the
ideal as any that can be successfully
enforced.
The club women who are In session
in Los Angeles are dealing with such
matters as Mormon question and the
race problem. Whatever else may be
said about club women, they are never
trivial. If they We're, the prejudice
which men entertain against such or
CARNATIONS would promptly disappear.
A German Christian missionary who
has worked for many years along the
Mahometans says: Honesty compels
every candid student to acknowledge
that the old view formerly entertained
in Christian circles concerning Mohom-
etanism, according to which the teach
nothing out devils doctrines and dog