New-York tribune., 1902-07-25
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The English papers tell thls story OF a' '''o'0"'
in a revision court; ~
A certain person who figured on the register was
objected to By one OF the agents. on the GROUND
that he was dead. The revising barrister oeelnea
20 accept the assurance, however and demanded
conclusive testimony on the point.
Thereupon the agent of the other side rose ana
gave corroborative evidence as TO the deceaso OK
the gentleman in question
And pray. sir. how do you KNOW 'he Hiah
dead?" demanded the barrister.
WELL" was the reply. II don't know It's very
difficult to prove
las I suspected" returned the irate barrister,
you don't know whether he's dead or not
The barrister glanced triumphanty around the
court His expression gradually underwent a
change the witness coolly continued:
II was saying. sir that don't know whether he
is dead or not. but do know this; They buried
him about month ago on suspicion
Did your father think my picture looked natu-
ral?' asked the young man In the MAC stock
I'm afraid So" responded the candid girl
What gave you the opinlonT -,.,
He wanted 10 kick 1t out OF the house."-(Phila-
delpha Record
Stories OF dogs which have drowned themselves
in fits Of despair have been not infreauent but the
narrative OF the intelligent beast in Hoboken which
was condemned 70 death, and after receiving SEN
tence in court tried to bite the magistrate who
sealed his doom. is refreshngly novel What can
be the limit Of canine understanding of human
speech?
Advocate Printer-what's the matter now7
Ditto IN my 6S srSry the peseer tne @
it up awful mess."-(darvard Lampoon.
small town in Posen. near the SilesIan frontier
stiIl keeps that relic OF other centuries the night
watchman who calls the hours. Ono night-'"The
London Telegraph tells this remarkable story
one Of these watchmen an old worthy long in SER
vice failed 20 blow his whistle when the clock
struck the hour.
The burgomaster summoned the delinquent to
count his negligence. After some hesitation he
declared that his last tooth had dropped out and
that he could hold in his mouth the official fiat
tin whistle.
A council called and the subject was gravely
discussed. Finally OF the members said that
he had heard of dentist at Breslau who supplied
artificial teeth. After long debate the council ap-
propriated money to send the aged watchman to
Breslau to get a set of new teeth.
In due time the watchman reported that his teeth
had arrived. That night the burgomaster sat up
10 hear the result. To his astonishment, there was
no whistle at 10, at IL or at midnight. The next
morning he summoned the watchman.
You have got your teeth" he said Indignantly.
''Why do you not whistle as before?"
Yes. I've got a set of teeth" replied the old
man. but the doctor told me to put them in water
at night
v since he hos bin mos on O IT, tn same stick
How long hos thot bin?"
''SiVintane years"
,Bedad ut must be a sivintane year locust
W iiihuSipHid INtCOtu.
President Thwing of the Western Reserve Uni
versity presents interesting array of college slang
In an article in THE Christian Endeavor World"
different colleges" he says, have different words
and phrases, and few words and phrases are
common to many. Such "swipe" soak"
spike" JOSH" "hen-medic" goose egg ''gring"
crib" and many others indeed. But there are
other words that used only at a few colleges
student, for instance In one college NAV bat
(make perfect rectation) and may sit in q
bear box" dhe faculty pew in chapel. on going
from church he may become belt chaser walk
ing with coed" and going to his dinner he
has berry "a good thing). In the afternoon he
prepares himself for bib" chat is for recitatio,
in the Bble) 1t is possible that this belt chaser
walks with bird" "a girD to the ''blrdcage'' Ga
dormtory for women studentsl. 1t is also possibIe
that the bird may be a birdie Zone who "a
eager to make acquaintance with men without an
introductory.
He may prefer to call his walk pike and also
he may prefer TO walk with "plugger'' rather
than with bird and while walking IN taIx
about pollock political economy 'poIst'' (po-
Iitical science)
low), and in that case he is apt porlxy fverv
poor in his work. and consequently gets "zin. n,
zero in marks) and is in danger of being .rusti-
Gated (suspendedl. or course. he must become a
repeater zone required TO repeat years yvor,,1
II he hopes ever 70 get his rag" diploma IF the
man is an "eie "a good student). he Will probably
get the reputation of being a whale "a phennme
nal STUDENT in case he bones" (studies) hard and
poles prepares a lesson by hard study
To Increase Sales.-Subbubs-Mr Fox a., -
much interested In booming Swamphurst buildinS
Trust.-lPhnAdephia Press 0 NN ~ 'n' 3uihine