Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-05-01

have been spending a bit of the
torrid season with my friend Judge
Thomas Marshall Blackenham of Ty-
CART Creek, Kentucky.
After dinner to-day the Judge led the
way to the broad veranda. The Judge
ponderously seated himself in a shrek
Ing rustic rocking-chair, threw his
fat right leg across the left, pushed
backward and rested a chunky fist
THAT held the handle of a palm leaf)
on the center of his protuberant girth.
Soon through the heated silence
came the imperious voice of Mrs.
Blackenham:
DO all that over again, my lady! I
saw you souse a plate in the water,
turn it over time or two, give 1t a
slap and swipe with the drying rag
and dismiss it. Do it all over again"
That's tough on Lille, hot as it is,
but there is no help for it," spoke the
Judge in smiling sympathy; her
mother would never abate one jot or
little of her stringent housewirery ex-
actions"
What wonderfully lucky man you
are, Judge" | said, with the frank
freedom of intimacy. ''In your wife
the beautiful and practical have met in
harmonious union. How could you,
with your careless habits, ever win a
woman of such punctilious precise
ness?"
The Judge rolled his sunset face over
toward me. He affected indignation.
What do you mean. sub? While prob
ably | am no prize beauty now. was
the Lochinvar of this state. was the
glass of gallantry, the beau ideal the
tossing blossom of Kentucky chilvalry,
sub! Twas her was a lucky woman,
sub; yes, sub, though at one time, subj
she didn't have the propah apprecia-
ton of it, probably"
She was the reverse of practical
too, when she was young, sub. She
had gone to school at Lexington few
terms, and when she returned her lit
tie brown head fairly swarmed with
romantic ideas. A dishrag in her
white hands then would have seemed
deflement Though rich in all the al
Turing grace of manner and physical
attributes of perfect femininity, she
seemed to possess no inclination for
the sterner SEX We young fellows in
the community who aspired to hold
heads on level with hers were great.
ly nonplused at her frigid bearing. We
couldn't believe she was a born man
hater. Her glowing lips, her pink
mantled cheeks, her sparkling blue
eyes, her form filling all the rules of
perfect symmetry, her step light as if
she trod an unpalpable substance, all
conspired to resent such charge.
But she gave scant attention to US, |
tell you. 4
Tom Baker bought a span of fine
bay horses and buggy to macth
Every day he would dash by her house,
his grand steeds shifting the hard road
with rapid, ringing hoofs, his buggy
wheels richly humming, the black top
catching and throwing sunlight at
every motien Twas all vanity and
-,yexatsr -Iscarcely gave his snowy
fequipast a glance. or If she did deign
look 1t was to wonder why young
man of his lean means should incur so
much expense to advertise himself
fool He soon sold his rig at half
price and left for Frankfort where he
is now a popular saloonkeeper.
! "Milt Turner bought a suit of clothes
on q credit--worth seventy-five dol
lars. The next Sunday when he
thought she was badly in need of his
company home, she told him her pa
was all the company she required He
is now restaurant keeper in Chicago.
John De Laney, knowing her to be
church member, thought the short
cut to her heart was the ministerial
path. Accordingly he went to Cincin-
natl and for six months gorged his
mind on theology. He returned with
a smooth face. an affectedly meek, but
withal, superior clerical smile, long
tailed, black coat and a nicely gotten
up parson voice. He made an appoint
ment to preach, but 10! though the
house was jammed by curious
throng. the only one he would have
given a cuss to exhort, was promi-
nently absent He is now a highly
esteemed gambler of New York.
Jim Stevens, more practical than
the rest, pooled his little stock OF
money with all he could borrow, and
set up store. Alas! twas bootless
venture, for Flossie Blake not only
never entered the store, but indig-
nantly sent back a dress pattern
bought there by her father land which