Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-10-23
Fiction
EZRA SPRlGGINS' SUMNER
BOARDER.

sOARDER.
Taint no place to brag on; an what
| them painter chaps calls a vistay is
sumwhat knocked into a cooked hat
by the stump fence an the co'ncrib,
| an tibet bar'l O leech I've in the cor
| ner-thet is lookin' at the vistay frum
the stoop. Still, there is allus sum-
thin to distarb the eye when a pusson
| squints at natur'.
For instance, them scooped-out-in-
front summary gals; them poked-out-
| behind summary galivantresses with
| hose that are loud 'nuf to caIl the
COWS frum the pastur'; them low-cut
cossetless sinners tibet palp'tate like
grain dancin' in the hopper O the
| grist mill. Yes, thurs alIus sumthin
to distarb a man when he's peekin
| bout fur a shy at natur'-an' sees
sumthin' to sorter shunt his vision off
/ on the peek-a-boo track. But We'll
| jest show the pore, weak college stu
dent who says he's willin' to take up
with a back chamber if he can on'y
have a front pew at the festal board
| Oh! he'll git a front pew, an We'll
soak him fifteen per week, Ell, Han
nay?"
1--WE will do our best, Ezra. We
will take him to our buzzom, an feed
him till he busts-if he'll take the
| back chamber and fork over his little
! fifteen per week. Whens he comm ?"
! 'In the mornin'. I'm goin' to town
arter him bright and airly. Want
| any-thin' from town."
Guess we'd better git two or three
pound O. cut loaf sugar an sum O.
tibet innocent coffee an a half dozen
O lemons an few bananas. Them
city folks expect sumthin' a leetle
extra ;an'-oh, yes! dom, furgit a
| cocoanut-"
''Dummit! Then nuts comes high,
pesky high! Have to buy 'em by the
! piece. Don't mean filberts or pecans
or sum last Christmas mixed nuts tibet
can be got cheap, do you, Hannay?"
| Il mean a cocoanut. It'll be on the
shelf, like as if l was thinlIin' bout
maxim a cOcoanut cake all the time.
His mouth will water arter a cocoanut
cake he'll never git"
you suttinly wuz born fur a seat
! in the senate, Hannay; you air the
/ greatest promiser tween here and
Spikeville. He'll on'y banker arter
what he'll never git. Tibet back
chamber will jest please him. It'll do
| h. toto bo,1 I,
sits il the gloamin' on the stoop,
reuminatin' and takin' a shy at natur'
an plunkin' skeeters, Ell? Feed him,
| Hannay. Feed him to the muzzle. I'll
soak him fifteen per week sure's my
names Ezra Spriggins, dern mel"
The summer boarder who came
| back from town with Ezra Spriggins
was a very companiorable young man
with pale face and thin legs. Study
had well night cut him down to the
bone and made a physical wreck Of
once fine specimen of manho( d--sO
he said as he fell to at dinner time
and scooped four eggs, three slices Of
salt pork swimming in fat, half a
dried apple pie, most Of the cheese,
quarter loaf of bread, two helpings of
butter, and four cups Of innocent cot
fee. Then he sighed and said he
would go up to that sweet, quiet little
chamber overlooking the hillside and
work on that poem Of his. The pub
fishers were simply bounding the life
out of him for fear the poem would
not be ready for the autumn issue OF
the great magazine of thought and
mental culture. After he went up the
old bent stairway to his back chamber
Ezra leaned over the table and said
softly to his beaming wife:
''Hannay, we've corked a prize"
Ezra, tibet pore creetur' is pul1et. "
AN such fine ap'tite."
(Which I'll 'pease-yes, III bet III
'pease tibet ap'tite; jest you leave me
lone fur tibet. Goodness! Did he find
fault when you toIe him it wuz fifteen
per week."
''On'y looked at me as if he wuz
tired. He shuck his rattlers bout in
his pockets an said easily, arter I
axed him if it wuz too steep: Flnan-
cial affairs of the sort | never trife
with Feed him, Hannayi Feed him
] good an stiff. Keep him a-goin' at
| the festal board, an maybe we can
| keep him goin' fur four months Thet
means nigh on to, or little over,
| countin' an odd week, two hundred
an forty dollars. Gosh, I'll lift tibet
end Of the COW stable up whar it be
longs. I'll git new breedin shoat-"
can what'u I git. Ezra?"
'EThet bombazine gown an black hat
with a flower garden all over it
| dunn me-"
And they kept the studious young
man going-so far as the festal board
| was concerned. He was good feed
/ er, fine talker, nice, pleasant
young man, easy to get along with
Not murmer ever came from his
lips about the broken vista, as viewed
from the front stoop in the cleaning
The chorus of frogs never disturbed
hin-if they did he never mentioned
it. 1t was never too hot it never