The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1902-05-15

WAS sitting in the waiting room of
the Union Depot at Omaha, Neb.,
reading a morning paper, when a
man who carried his arm in a
sling, and whose face and neck were
almost entirely covered by innumerable
pieces OF plaster and bandages, came
limping up to me and in a familiar,
offhand way wished me "good morn
ing" Staring at him for some seconds
with that peculiar, idiotic stare for
which am noted, it finally dawned
upon my slowly apprehending mind
that this battered remnant of a man
was my friend, Dennis Maloney.
"'Good morning, Dennis" said I, sis
that you?"
"It's mesilf," said he, "an' Oi'll Excuse
ye for not ricognoisin' me to wanst; for
sumtoimes Oi don't ricognoise mesilf;
in fact, Oi hiv to call in me brother
-Moike livery marnin' to oidintifoy me
before Oim sure Oi'm mesilf"
"But how did this happen, Dennis ?''
/ asked
"Well, thin if yell 20 wild me to
Mulligan's place, we'll sit down in the
corner be the table, an Oi'll till ye all
about it," he answered. AS / was
anxious to hear his story Ireadily COM
piled with his wish, and soon after we
were seated in Mulligan's place, he on
one side of the table, and l on the
other. Before he began his story
Dennis called for something with which
"to erase his wind p6ipe," and man
who wore broad smile and an apron
brought two glasses filled with an am
ber-colOred liquid, that had neither a
greasy look nor a greasy taste, but
which, in spite of that, seemed to be
the correct article for "grasing the
windpipe."
"Ye know" began Dennis, "Oi wuz
implyed by the St. Paul road as brhake-
man, an me run wuz betwixt Council
Bloofs an Manila, Iowa. A wake ago
yesterday Oi wuz cumin' in on me run
frum the aist an whin we got to within
about four moiles iv NJ, frum
which place the st. Paul an the Rock
Oiland roads run soide be soide, Oh wint
over the thrain lookin' for thramps. Oi
found wan, who wuz roidin' the boom
pers, an wuz cuttin' his moniker in the
ind iv box car. Oi kicked him off,
an thin wint back to the caboose an
sat down on the cupeelo, an watched a
Rock Oiland thrain going west, about
two moiles to the south iv us. Oi wuz
thinkin' about takin' shmoke an
pulled out me dhudeen an me tobacco
whin Oi heard quare Mise behind me.
Oi turned round, an the soight Oh saw
made livery wan iv me hairs stand on
ind, barrin' the vans on the crown iv
me head where Dim bald. COMM frum
the north wuz a coyclone, maxim
shtraight for me, an before Oh had
tonne to think, or say me prayers, a
flying pace iv wood shtruck the poipe
frum me mouth, an roight after that
the coyclOne lifted me frum the top iv
the caboOse an knocked a tillygraft
pole down wild me. Thanks be to
Glory sez Oi, that coyclone knocks the
tillygraft pole down wild me- sez OF,
.supposin, sez Oh, it had knocked me
down wild the tillygraft pole, thin,' sez
Oi, where would Oi be-, sez Oh. Oh
brheke me arrum in the collision wild
the pole, but the pole wuz brhoke in
three PAGES. Thin the coycIone turned
me over an over, an inside out, an
oopsoide down, an knocked me in the
head wild fnce posts, an fince rails, an
boards, an almost bloinded me wild
bits iv straw, an wood, an stone an
dirt. Vance OF saw hayfork maxim
shtraight for me head, but Oi lodged it,
an thin whalebarrow aimed roight
swing at meheart, but Oi soide stepped,
an"
Say, Dennis, how could you side