The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-04
"Clang's lost his goat.
What killed him.

INC pluQCS W1CcreO.
"Clangs lost his goat
What killed him.
''He died of billboarditis.''
What was he doin':''
latin tn paste off tn posters
Did it agree wild HIM.
"Foine. But there WAS q picture OF
Paddyrootski there. an he choked Oh tn
hair. Ohio State Journal.
Julian Ralph says that OH one occasion
when the late King Kalakaua held a re-
ception at the Windsor hotel, i'll New
York, he stood in parlor with the al
the people passed by to shake the
swarthy monarch's hand. All at once a
man reached the Kings side in his reg
u!ar turn, shot out Of the line, gripped
the monarch's hand with a hearty grasp,
and fairly shouted; ..Why. Dave, old
man, how are you:" why. Billy said
Put it there again. said the man; Its
good many years, Dave, since you and
| ran TO fires together in Honolulu, isn't
it, And the King shook his hand
again. smiling with delight ut meeting a
familiar face among such Il multitude OF
strangers.
about Prince Henry. The costly dinner
which was served in New York recently
was discussed. One Of the guests at the
supper remarked that it cost $4,000 per
plate. \ little son of the hostess after Il
few moments reflection, said: Gee whiz.
they must Of been eating gold bricks!''
The late Lord Dutferin was fond of
relating an amusing experience which
occurred VIXEN he ws> returning to Ire
land from diplomatic mission to he
married, and his engagement to the
beautiful Miss Hamilton had just been
announced He landed one evening Oh
the platform Of q small country station
near Clandeboye, and hired 4 driver to
!. TIE him the four at five miles. but he
was SO mut1ied w that the driver failed
fcrin asked: ANY news about here?'
~" news grumlGly replied the man,
Except that the bca utiful Miss Hamil-
ton is going to marry that ugly fellow
Dufferin,''
The Fatal Eepe-'.Ah.'' said the pri,-
on visitor to the convicted murderess,
when You think of your impending
doom. does not your n1cnory revert hong
hnody WELL" replied the doomed
creature Il surely would like to skip
the rope Philadelphia Press
:Rey. William C. Starr, all Episcopal
clergyman living III Philadelphia, once
took the services fer 4 brother clergyman
in New Jersey parish. The Sunday
school superintendent introduced him to
the children by name, and he straight
way began to advise and instruct them
as to a righteous. exemplary life. dwell
ing upon the necessity for warfare with
our spiritual adversary.
And now. children" he asked, "who
is our spiritual adversary?:'
''Mr. Starr shouted boys and girls in
all parts Of the room. apparently proud
OF their quality of qnick comprehension.
New York Tribune.
II found eighteen umbrellas in the
| church yesterday. said the sexton to
the minister the day after Il rainy Sun
day.
"Oh. wcll,'' said the dominic, "takc
hem to my study: they are probably in
tended as contributions to the conscience
fund. Statesman.
\ Washington woman who has a small
fam. in the suburbs. employs colored
youth as Il man-ofall work around the
place. Hc attended divine service re-
Gently and was evidently very much i'm
pressed with what he heard at church in
reference to religious requirements dur
ing Lent. Returning home from the
house OF worship he literally took away
the breath of his employer by announc-
ing. in all seriousness: you necdn' t
bother about me during Lent Just give
Inc Il dozen egvS for breakfast every
morning, and plenty Of oysters and fish
and Ill manage to get along very well
without meat
Manifestly Wrong-"Yes.' said the
head Of the firm, Miss Addie is a good
book keeper, but she makes some queer
mistakes" What, for instance?" asked
the silent partner. well, she enters
our messenger boys wages under the
head of running expenses. '''-Philadel-
phia Press.
| train ut ! suburban station yesterday
morning she gave startled glance at the
| brakeman. who stood near, and ejaculat-
ed: This isn't the last car, is it? |
haven't been down since the accident,
ael''
You know. madam replied the
the last car any more. We leave it at
New Haven now.
''Oh, 1 didn't know that" responded
the passenger, with a great sigh of re-
lief. I'm 50 glad!' =:
Mistress-'*Do you know, Carter. that
1 can actually write my name in the dust
| on the table!'' Carter-''Faith, mum,
that's more than can do. Sure there's
nothing like education, after. all!'-
-:o:- ~ .'' Il
| In the millinery showroom of one of
the large department stores III Philadel-
phia customer inquired of saleswom-
an what they charged to- clean feathers.
| Ten cents apiece" was the answer,
''Oh. I could never pay that price,
gasped the lady. .'''>''
GLOW many have you? If you have, a
sufficient number, we might make d re-
duction in the price" =: :,;.,. ....'',.
"Why, | eonldn',t! count them: for: !
Needless to say, she was in the wrong
departm Observation-Disclosures Times, i ri,
| Ole, Olson who, after spending Ten
| Nights in a Bar-room, was reported as
Lost in New York, has been, found He
was With The Starbucks, flirting with
The Victoria Burlesquers.r'I:; +: '''.'3s =
-:o:- ',es,.~z1,;l