The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-02
The Nonpareil Man
On 1.-The Side.

On-the Side. .. 49, F.. q"
When there is talk Of a cabinet vacancy,
every man in Iowa starts perceptibly and
wears his hand tucked into his vest.
For Sale-One slightly damaged and shelf
worn canal site. Half price. Panama Canal
company. r..
The general respect for Marconi is increas-
ing He has refused offer of $1,000 night
for series Of lectures. 49,
They also split an infnitive. Stock circles
in Boston take no further interest in the at
tempt to invalidate the merger proceedings.
The Congressional Record, having no cor
respondent at Nice, was scooped on the quiet
affair in which Senator Depew played one OF
the star parts.
There are some freaks living on the banks
of the Atlantic ocean in an asylum called
New Jersey. They battle in the sea every
day during the winter. They have an idea
that it makes them healthy. This is the kind
of assininity that ought to invalidate life
insurance.
An american barber with Yankee shaving
notions invaded Paris, and so frightened the
French BARRIERS by his novelties in the way
of rasping the supert1uous hirsute adornment
from the French countenance, that the French
BARRIERS bought him off. He was making
tremendous success and got his own price
for his shop.
The New Years dinner at the Klondike
house was great event. There
was a fillet of sole leather, horse blan-
ket smothered in onions and hashed dogsled
on the table d'hote, and the miners made
merry till late in the morning.
A faction is trying to down Mr.. Hanna IN
Ohio. Outside Of Ohio the feeling OF kindli-
ness for Uncle Mark has grown since the
death Of the president.
Holdup artists scored twice on the same
party on Washington avenhe last evening. 1T
must have been very coarse work the hrst
time to have left anything portable on his
person. ..
Palma carried Cuba easily, as there was no
onposition.e The Cuban republic now has on
hand nearly everything necessary to Latin
republic except revolution.
The Bull Dogs Work for Humanity.
There had been a terrific battle fought in
Cross Horse alley because the Bulldog mad
annexed the bone Of the Large Black dog. The
bulldog had his front paw seriously chewed
nieces of dogskin about his person-but he
had the bone and he was standing with his
naws on it trying to extract q little nutriment.
do not care to speak: of the shape In which
the other dog had been left, because horrors
like this should not be pictured on the minds
of our youth
The Bulldog was thinking that there was
remarkable paucity OF meat IN the an
nexed territory to repay him for all the ex-
nenditure Of blood and treasure, when the
irish setter wandered into the alley with his
guidebook and field glasses to look over the
scene of conflict and to gather data for an
article on the Battle of Cross Horse Alley"
for which he had in his pocket an order
from one of our leading dog magazines.
well" said the Setter after exchanging
the usual dog compliments, 81 see you have
the Black pup pretty well threshed this
time
eyes" replied the Bull modestly, II planted
bunch of teeth in him."
"You have his bone"
II have already annexed It,"
what do you consider it worth"
"There is nothing on 1t. It has been worn
| to FRAGILE But it was a principle was
| fighting for"
| The Bull looked so fierce that the Setter
fastened to say, 'Of course, of course. All
| the world understands that. It Is a work
made necessary by tho Grass ignorance and
| superstition of the Black dogs. This was
his alley, believe
.That is his house, replied the Bull, point
ing to the livery stable. At present I hold
the alley and intend to hold 1t In the interests
| OF scaninization.'' 5&
| At this point two or three other Black
dogs came down the alley and In the fight
4 that ensued the Bulldog lost nearly enough
skin to make pair OF gloves. But the
Blacks were driven OIL sx