Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-08-23
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ans mo" very often means yes" Tom
But she didn't say no" She said
nit"
You can't have your cake and eat it.
but you can eat your own cake and
swipe the other fellow's-Ohio State
Journal.
The Man (entering the store)-Haye
you typewriter ribbons? The Fresh
Girl (behind the counterl-Is she blonde
or brunette?
Husband (reading the paper)-What
fools some men will make of them
seyes. Wife-Now, Henry, dear, what
have you done this time?
Edith-You know that new horse
papa named after you? Wen. he's
proved 10 be quite worthless, and papa
is going TO shoot hm.-Puck.
Mamma. l don't understand these
tire-tiies." Mamma-Wha puzzles You.
dear: We'll. amt it funny that the
wind don't blow their lights out ?"
Church, never cross a bridge un,
I'll come TO it. Gotham-Wen IL you
refer TO the Brooklyn bridge, you have
good deal Of trouble even then.
Lucky He Hadn't-"Miss Muggfes
has had $4,000 left To her by an uncle
who had never seen her" Wen. that
explains it. philadelphia Bulletin.
The Hostess-There's one thing that
can he said for Mrs. Talkington--she
never retailS scandal The Caller
No; The Hostess No; wholesale ex-
clusiyely,-Puck.
The LandlubberH How mad that
lighthouse keeper must be-he has
lighted that lamp a dozen times since
l have been watching, and it has gone
out every time,-Life.
by the way" reminded the curious
inquirer what's a Synonymous ex-
preston for talking shopT'" Web"
replied Joakley, there's 'tonsorial en-
porium,' and 'haircutting parlor -
Philadelphia Press.
THAT Mr. Squeezem had nothing but
praise for your sermon today" said
the minister's wife, after church. Eyes,
noticed that when the plate was
passed around" said the pastor, sadly.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Pug-I suppose since the bulldog
lost his teeth he doesn't bite any moreg
The Poodle-Only Miss Maud's gentle.
men callers The Pug-Why them? The
Poodle-They are such soft young men.
Philadelphia Record.
Bowman-My recital was n splendid
success, The audience was fired with
enthusiasm. Bridge Mercy Weren't
you afraid of a conflagration? There
was so much paper in the house you
know Boston Transcript.
why is it," said the self conscious
young man who is to be married, that
all the world loves a lover?" Per
haps," answered the coarse and cyni-
cal person, at is because pity is akin
to love, Washington Star.
How is it that you arc so gallant in
the street cars nowadays? Formerly
You never arose to give lady your
seat" Yes; but now | am wearing
patent leather shoes, and If | sit every
one walks on them. Toledo Bee.
Jack--Yes, had a little balance In
bank, but / became engaged two
months ago, and now Ned-Ahl
love makes the world go round. Jack
Yes. but | didn't think it would 20
round so fast as to cause me to lose
my balance Philadelphia Press.
Butler reeently engaged by a newly
nedged millionaire what hour
would you wish to dine sir? Million
aire-At what hour do the best people
dlne2 Butler depressing a smile)-Oh,
they dine ut different times, sir. Mil
lionaire-Good. Then | also will dine
at different times.
But" Kissed the heavy villain, Sup
pose our plot should leak out" His
miserable accomplcc shiyercd at the
thought. But it can't" cried the low
comedian. emerging at that moment
from behind a stage tree, because
from now on the plot thickens. you
know. Philadelphia Press.
Remarkably warm, isn't it," said
the man who is always cropping for
something to say. mo" answered the
person who Is iIl-uatured In warm
weather; this Kind of weather has
occurred In every July | can remem-
Der 1t isn't in the least remarkable.
1t is merely dsagrecable Washing
ton Star.
"Deare" said Mrs. Loyeydoyey, II
see In the paper that a man out west
has had his stomach removed | won
der why" II suppose" said Mr..
that his wife persists In
trying to cook all the new-fangIed
things she reads about in the recipe
department of the Ladies' Home Week,
ly.'-J Judge.
Waiter-Hayc piece OF pie, sira
thank you; [ never eat
pie. II doesn't agree with me. Waiter
To every person who has eaten one
order We give pic without extra