The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-01-24

PA. what is a pre-glacial man ?"
"Why. man before he had to pay ice
bills. of course"
Miss White. l believer" "No, l am
Miss Green" "Oh, pawdon me-! I'm
color blind. y'know."
Church-What is the principal must.
cal instrument in China-the lyrei
Gotham-No; l believe it is the loot. .
LET me but own the EARTH" said the
dnancier, with characteristic bravado
land / care not who writes the peoples
songs!" ..:.
Teacher-What is a synonym;
Bright Boy-1t's a word you use in
place of another one when you don'l
know how to spell the other one.
Grandpa's birthday: MANY happy
returns Of the day. grandpa; and nam.
ma says if you give us each fifty cents
we mustn't lose it.'-Harlem Life.
Mother is always telling me not to
bolt my food" said a small boy. land
now she has gone and bolted the cup.
board that has got all the yictuals."
The Artist-And. then. have you given
sufficient attention to the technique
Prospective Observation-Disclosures
haps not. l was thinking Of the price!
Ocular Demonstrations: Mrs. Decol.
lete, over there, puts every cent her
husband makes ON her back" He's
making very little, then."-Philadel'
phia Press.
MI. Botts-1 think, my dear, l have at
last found the key to success. Mrs.
Botts-Well, just a. like as not you'll
not be able to find the keyhole.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Proud of the Boy: Doctor-'Pears to
me laik de boy dun got acute indeCe-
shun. Aunt Lucy Smiling through her
tears)--Dat's' it, doctah! Dat boy, sick
er we'll, dun eb'ryt'ing cute.-Judge.
Frustrated: First Fly-Come quick.
mother! Sister has been drinking some
Of that poison they tried to fool us
with. Second Fly-Oa: Where is she:
First F1y-She's on the ceiling in a
dead faint.-L1fe.
The Important Question: Mrs. Dash
teigh-Do you believe it is possible. as
Mrs. Roosevelt says. for a woma to
dress on three hundred dollars a year!
Mrs. Kafippe-It may be possible. but
what's the use.-Exchange.
Drain on the Empire: eff the wal
continues" groaned the British peer,
I'VE shall run out Of metal" For max.
ing guns for the men?" asked the
triend. 'No; for making medals for
THE officers. "-Chicago News.
Dr.. A.-Why do you always make
such particular inquiries as to what
your patients eat? Does that assist you
in your diagnosis? Dr.. B.-Not much;
but it enables me- to- ascertain their So
eiaf position and arrange my fees ac-
cordingly.-Tit-B Bits.
The lesson had been about the prodi.
gal son, and the entire Sunday school
had been properly impressed. The SUI
"perintendent asked: "Now. my little
friends, who stood by, objecting to this
proposed banquet to the prodigal?'
And a voice in q far corner answered.
1.-THE calf"
Pure Accident: Flanagan-Hivinsl
man, phwat's the matther wild yer
face? Hanagan-Bajth. twas an acct
dent. Tn ould woman throwed Il plate
at me. Fanagan-An dye call that an
accident? Hanagan-Av coorse! Didn't
she hit plat she aimed at?-Philadel'
phia Press.
"Father," he said, do you think
would be justified in getting married
on an income of $15 per week." Papa
Why, you young prodigate, you never
earned a penny in your life. Son-No
but l can marry that han'some type
writer girl that works for you.-Balti
more World.
His Mission: "It is your aim, OF
course" said his intimate friend, tic
make people think" no" replied the
popular lecturer, in. a burst of conf
dence, my business is to make people
| think they think-or, rather, to make
them think I think they think."-Cht
cago Tribune.
NO. said the stubborn citizen, II
never confess that l am in the wrong
"Why notY There is no use OF It. II
l man mckes a mistake in this life. there
are thousands of people ready to take
| hold and advertise it, without his lift
ing his voice to swell the clamor."-
| Washington Star.
you know, John, you promised me :
seal-skin wrap, and" "And 20,
promised to keep my stockings darnee
and you haven't done it." "Well, yol
don't mean to say you'll break you]
promise on that account:". "Well, it,
Just like this: "You don't give a darn
and I don't give a wrap"
City Magistrate-Of course l dom
WISH to stand in the way Of my daugh
tors happiness, but 1 know so little o
YOU, Mr.. Hawkins. What is your 70
cation? Mr.. Hawkins (airily)-Oh.
write-er-poetry, noyels-er-plays
and that sort Of thing. City Magistrat
-Tndaedl Most interesting. And how