Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-10-04
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a home remedy: do you think coal
oil is good for mosquitOes?" 4 think
hard slap is better" cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
"Mannish sort Of girl" as she real
lyY" Very. She used the telephone
for the first time in her life to-day, and
she didn't giggle once"
Tough: "Oh. Henry. don't cut your
pie with knife" Eliza, you ought
TO be thankful l don't call for n can
opener. Chicago Record
Briggs-What's your idea of heaven
Griggs-Well, it's the way a man feels
the first three days after he is home
from n summer vacation.-Life.
lIls Object: Citiman-I see you raise
your own vegetables. Suburbanite-
No! l simply plant a small garden so
as TO keep the chickens at home-Life.
Reporter-You are SO confident of
catching this criminal you must have
strong clew. Detectiye-We have He
didn't wear a Panama.-New York
Sun.
THE singer has made great strides
in the profession, hasn't she?' Yes.
indeed. Formerly. when she received
an encore, she sang; now she usually
smiles"
\ Clever Lawyer: rs he a good law
yer" "A good lawyer, Why, say! L
have known him 10 prove the truth Of
what isn't so, aud not half try."--Chi~
cago Post.
Making love: AS a mere matter of
curiosity, sir. shotild like to know
| how long you have been making love
To my wife?" Il began, sir, when you
left oif."-I4ife.
Mother-Did the professor propose?
Daughter-Dear me- mother, he was
on the very verge oft, and foolishly
| happened to mention bacteria.-De-
troit Free Press.
Papa, what is the difference be-
| tween the smart set and the four hun
dredT why. my son, the four hun
dred is limited to twenty-siX hundred.
but everybody is in the smart set
Life
Our Two Great Glasses: The world
those who board, and envy those who
| keep house, and those who keep house,
and envy the boarders.-Atchison
Globe
And you still insist that your flying
machine is practical commercial
quantity?" Il do" answered the bust
ness-like inventor; III you don't believe
1t | can show you the gate receipts."--
Washington Star.
Magistrate-Now, III let you off this
time, but it must be lesson for you
not to be in bad company again. Pris-
oner--Gee whi2z! it ain't my fault that
I'm here; the cops made me come
Philadelphia Record.
Lawyer Brief SEQ that case Of
yours is on. Jury draw yet? Lawyer
Skinner-Yes. and it's splendid one.
Lawker Brief--Above the average In
intelligence eh? Lawyer Skinner-No;
way below it.--Philadclphia Press
At Two Dollars a Visit: YES, the
doctor has put me on the strctest kind
of diet" Indeed. What is itT'
''Well. he says | mustn't eat anything
don't like, and not any more than l
want of what / do" Baltimore News.
what are you dolng?' asked the JUS
ticc as the defendants counsel began
his argument Going to present our
side of the case" II don't want To
hear both sides" replied the justice.
1T has a tindncy to confuse the coort."
Drlver-Did you mark the spot
where your comrade fell out OF the
boat and was drowned? O'Laffcrty--
Shure, OF did OF took a piece av wood
an left it fioatin' on IN wather at tn
very place he went down, sor.-Ohlo
State Journal.
The Real Thing: Are You a real In
DAM asked the investigating youth
OF one of the painted Indians who ac-
companIed Buffalo Bills wild West
Show. Sure" replied the Indian; II
was born an raised in indianapolis,
Indiana. Exchange.
Mrs. Wcderly unmasEng after the
fancy balD--Oh, but didn't / fool you,
though? You had no idea that you
were flirting with your wife all the
evening Mr.. Wederly-No. l hadn't;
you were SO very agreeable 1 was com
pletcly deceived. It'll Bits.
The danger OF a little knowledge:
Don't you sometimes regret that You
did not devote more time to your edW-
cation in early life" mo, SIR" an
swered the politician; III | had learned
to talk grammatical the voters in my
district would think / was putin on
airs and driftn' away from the hearts
of the people. Washington Star,
why did you insist on getting me
an upper berth In the sleeping carr"
asked the habtually austere lady.
well" answered her irrepressible
niece, you have been expecting for go
many years to find somebody under
your bed that | thought 1t might re