The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-04-10
Observation-Disclosures
/ Low E ]
! dn0 LOST !
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

which / received the news of my APP
pointment. It was year after ]
left the university. Strange to say,
my first feeling as | received my ap-
pointment as teacher in the female
gymnasium of the city of n. had
nothing to do with the improve
ment In our economical status
which it implied. ! remember that
feeling so clearly that it seems as if
it had all happened but an hour
ago. Maybe it is because of the oc-
currence which it foreshadowed and
which was destined to leave such a
deep trace on my life that / recall
it SO wildly every time | think of it.
However that may be, the first ex-
clamation which I made mentally
as | received a letter announcing
my appointment was not, '.Now |
shall have about 100 rubles a
month";" but, "Now I shall teach a
class of beautiful girls and fall in
lovep
Do not laugh. If you had been
brought up under the same condi-
lions, you would be in a similar fur
ry. I was what is called a good boy
and never left my books. When in
st. Petersburg, I was ever trembling
lest I should fail to pass my exam
nations and thus cause mother UNI
necessary expense and worry. Be
sides, I had Inherited from my IA
Their a retiring, studious nature, and
the very thought of young ladies
would make my heart beat fast with
a feeling of difidence and timidity.
When [ learned about the gymna-
SUM where [ was to teach physics,
l beheld a class made up Of twenty
or thirty beauties Why all beau
ties I could not have explained, but
there they were-all young and rosy
checked, all tall and all with bashful
blue eyes.
I, too, grew bashful as | thought
of them in their brown dresses and
black aprons. They lured me, ca
ressed my soul, agitated my heart,
threw me into a disquieting ecstasy
which was as novel to me as it was
sweet and painful.
It had taken me three houIs to
dress. / was to make my first APP
pearance at the gymnasium, and my
first lesson was in the highest class,
which was made up Of girls Of sew
enteen or eighteen. No student pre-
pairing for examination ever trem-
bled as 1 did on that morning. It
was as if instead of scholars [ was
to face twenty or thirty ruthless ex-
aminers, each with an incisive pair
Of eyes ready to pounce upon my
poor bashful self. I could hear
them giggle at my expense, make
jokes about my awkwardness, my
necktie, my looks.
When I entered the classroom, I
struck an attitude of exaggerated
severity. To prove to myself that I
was not afraid of the girls I spoke
ridiculously loud. | almost shouted.
As ] went on explaining the dis
tinction between chemistry and
physics I frowned on my class, look
ed daggers at the front row and al
together behaved as if I bore them
a personal grudge.
'Isn't he stern ?" I overheard one
girl whisper to another. A thrill of
pride ran through me. You're all
right" I said to myself, and, elated
with the impression I had produced,
I began to feel more at ease and to
stride up and down the room with
the manner of an old timer. I was
in the seventh heaven. Two girls
were talking in the rear seats.
"Silencep' I Numbered.
There was a suppressed chuckle
at this, and my heart sank within
me. [ was the most miserable
wretch in the world.
When [ got home, I lay down on
my lounge to think over | did not
know what, and as tried to pass
the girls in review it came over me
that I had not made out a single
face. [ could not say whether they
were pretty or homely, dark or fair.
"a blurred image of young ladies in
gymnasium uniform was all [ had
carried away.
The next time | had lesson in
the same class / called out Mile.
Ryshkina. She had evidently given
much time to her lesson, but she
had it all wrong, and, strange to
say, the more she blundered the
more [ liked to hear her recite. It
was SO charming to hear her go on
with the explanation which she did
not understand herself. You should
have heard her rattle on about phe-
nomena and laws. To Judge from