davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

Marriage brokers are regular insti-
tuition in Italy. In Genoa there are sew
cral marriage brc 'icrs who have poclS-
ctbnols filled With the names of tho
m;irriagc:ble girls of the different
classes with notes of their figures, per-
sonal attractions. fortune and other cir
cumstances. These brokers go about
cnIcavoring to arrange matrimonial al
llances in the same otfhand mercantile
manner which they would bring to
bear upon Il purely business transac-
tion. and when they succeed they get
commission of or 3 per cent upon the
dowry, With such extras of bonuses as
may be voluntarily bestowed by the
party
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
FoRcEFUl. EXPRESSIONS.
The Power of Illustration In the
TA,cn IT, N pl,rnsn

Turn %: n Phrase.
James Russell Lowell said, There's
deal O. eelid Kicking in the meekest
looking mule" If the statement had
been, There's a good deal of obstinacy
covered by apparent amiability,' the re-
mark might have passed without mo-
ment's notice, but attached to such a
figure as the poet used it will be diff
cult for the mind ever to get rid of it.
MazZini says, Labor is the divine
law of our existence" This is little
more than commonplace. but when he
added. "Rcp@se is descrtion and sui
eide" the commonplace was transfig-
ured into Il memorable illustration.
A French writer said. The really eff
ficient laborer will be found not to
crowd his day With work" That seems
to he fnrgettable. When he adds, HE
Will sumter to his task surrounded by
Il wide halo of ease and leisure" the
halo serves the purpose OF an cNplana-
tory Illustration.
President Garfield once said, tNine
times out of ten the best thing that can
happen To i; yoH;ig man is to be tossed
overheard t;ai compelled to sink or
swim FIR hir!sc,:.' The tossing over
beard was Ire Iii ,stration. The saga
cious president g:lve it significance and
emphasis by personal reference, Sin all
my acquaintance | never knew man
to lie drowned who was worth the saw
ing"
When Lavater said, "IIabit is alto
gether too arbitrary Il master for me to
submit to- it was the word master
that constituted the memorable illus
tration.
Carlyle, great master of metaphor,
said truly: NO man lives without los
ting and being jostled. In all ways he
has to elbow himself through the
world, giving and receiving offense."
The doctrine of this sentence might
easily have become Il mere platitut.e,
but it is fixed upon the memory by JOS
Ting and being jostled and the elbow
iEg cf oneself through the world This
Illustration is the very making of the
:,r:sanlent.-.Icscph Parker, D. D., in
Womiletic Review
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
DEATH BY ARSENIC.
The Way Thi. Poison Acts Upon the
Human Synten

When a single dose of arsenic in suf-
en-, colicky pains, bowel disorder and
perhaps nausea result. In the course
OF an hour after a poisonous dose has
been taken an intense burning pain is
felt in the esophagus and stomach.
This spreads to the entire anterior pol-
ton of the lower part of the trunk. \
sense of construction ut the throat and
an acrid, metallic taste accompany the
pain. Then vomiting and relaxation of
the bowels begin. AS the case pro-
crosses the symptoms increase in in
tensity. Then comes Il thirst that WA
ter will not alay, although it appar
entity increases the stomach disturb
ance. The victim groans and writhcs
Now he implores the doctor to save
him. Then he begs to he killed and put
out of pain. The cXtrcmitics become
icy. The pulse is small. feeble and fire.
quent and the breathing is labored,
embarrassed and painful because of
the body becomes dark and of that
BLUSH color that medical men call cy-
anosed. Violent cramps add tlleir tor
ture, exhaustion becomes collapse, con
yulsions or coma ensues, and death
ends the agony. This torture lasts
sometimes from five to twenty hours.
In some cases these symptoms occur,
but in Il modified form, and the doctor
will apparently get the better of the
disease. The remission will be but for
day or two Then the abdomen will
swell, and icy coldncss will pcrvade
the frame. Shivcring will become pro-
nounced trembling, then cramps, con-
yulsions and death.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
To Cure the stammcrer.

1t is said that stammercrs rarely if
ever show any impediment of speech
when speaking in whispers. On this
fact a method of treatment has been
advocated, which is as follows: For the
first ten days speaking is prohibited.
This will allow rest to the voice and
constitutes the preliminary stage of
treatment. During the next ten days
speaking is permissible in the whisper
ing voice, and in the course of the next
fifteen days the ordinary conversations
al tone may be gradually employed.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
A Test of FrienL.b;p

A gentleman has tried the following
peculiar way OF probing the ties Of
friendship. lie sent letters to twenty
Intimate friends asking for loan Of u
pound. Thirteen OF the two dozen
friends did not reply at all, five de-
clined to lend the money, two promised
to send it OH the next day and did not
do it, one sent his last 10 shillings,"
and only three sent the full sum asked
for. The supplicant and all tina
FRIENDS Ne had written to are well
of.-St. Petersburg Novoe Vrcmya.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
FOREIGN BANK METHODS.
The Undcvcloped System In Use 1n
Continental Europe.

A bank check is locked upon with
suspicion in Italy. Practically no small
tradesman would take check, and
was still more surprising to me to find
that such n statement would be almost
literally true OF Paris itself. / was
studying the mechanism of the Bank
of France under the guidance OF one
of the officers. We Went into one great
room in the old building in which there
We're 300 desks inclosel in wire cages,
all empty ut the moment. asked what
these were for.
These cages are for our city col
lectors,' l was told. when small
merchant borrows from the Bank of
France, he does not, as with you in
America, borrow bank credit and
have his loan merely added to his bal
ance on the books of the bank With
us the merchant, when he makes n
loan, gets the actual money and takes
1t away. He probably has no bank ac-
co;iii With rs. He writes no checks.
v i. . tic lo.,n is due, he doco not, as
v s's-.u w U t.s- citSS' III your DullkS, cOIlle
t.. nd may his Indebtedness with a
81 *; iEsseal u. That we send col
J c,ur L, LII. al.l that collector is re-
i, the !osn n actual currency. Two
!. II icd men start out from the T.. nix
of France every morning to collect ma
t. ;tl loans. Several days each month
ii i, necessary to send out 400 men,
all! Oil the LIST and the 18th of each
n-,nth GOO collectors go OUT
These collectors We're uniformed
men, carrying leather pouches, in
which they have the maturcd notes
and which are later filled with curren-
cy AIS the collections are made from the
banks borrowers.
l stood at the paying tellers desk as
went farther along in my tour of the
Bank of France. AS halted there the
man who happened to bc at the win
dow ut the moment presented a check
for 10000 francs. The money was
counted out and handed over to him,
stored away in big wallet. and he
passed on. asked if it We're not ,ln.
usual for man to draw out so much
currency and was told that it was not.
1t was but another Illustration of how
undeveloped is the banking system of
continental Europe in it's uses by the
general public.-Scribner's Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Irving nv n Timer.

Sir Henry Twins prcdigality to-
some years ago when he was at Bluff
Point, Lake Champlain. He gave the
driver of the break which daily ran to
Au Sable Chasm $50 in two weeks and
feed the other servants with like reck,
lessness. The guests of the hotel grew
very indignant, because there was no
almost literally fought among them
selves to minister to the needs of the
English actor and sadly neglected the
rest of the guests.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
I,crcnl,cr's Nnu,cs

December. 50 called from biting the
tenth month when the ycal, began in
March, has probably had moro names
conferred Glos il than amy other of the
twelve into which our year is now di.
Ni'ipd sinong the curly Saxons it was
oa,l'd Winter Mon;tt. or winter month.
Aiisr tlscir conversion To Christianity
tl.el call"d it Iicli@h Monat, or holy
l!unih, in honor OF the birth OF Christ
u later days in Germany ii WAS called
Christ MoiEt fer the same rcuso,l
Fires used to be lighted fcr warmth in
this month, ard tn" want of tllimaeys
used To "Alisc Il too Obvious i;fc ,nven-
fence. which led 10 lis being calcd l'u-
lAGsss, OF snloisy. Il was also tllb!cd
canus, or llnary. from the saows Of.
lloarlrosts which then generally Wilt
ened the higher grounds.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Origin of word GrinRo.

The word "gringo," which Mexicans
apply to Americans when speaking of
them with contempt, is said to have
had it's origin thus: During the MeXi-
can war our soldiers got into the hab-
it Of calling the simple Mexican sol
diers whom they took prisoners green
les" to signify their ignorance of
things In general and of military tac-
tics especially. The Mexicans rctaliat-
ed by calling the Americans "greenos," :"
and this word finally degenerated into
"gringos"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Calling Up Fish.

The other day several New York
brokers received telephone orders to
buy certain stock and notify Mr..
Fish at a given telephone number.
Calling up that number the response
was invariably, (Which one is want
ed?" Then followed this conversation:
"IIow many of them are there"
Several hundred. large and small"
81 want the head of the firm"
ooh. then. you want Colonel Jones"
Colonel Jones? No, want Mr.. Fish.
Who in thunder are youY"
"The Aquarium"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
A Case of "oui,...


Clerical Customer (arousing himself
from Il nap in barber's clair,-.Nll
through, ch:
Barber Yes, sir; quite some time
ago.
Clerical Customer Indeed. Then !
must have been indulsing in q quiet
nap.
Earbcr-You surely have. sir.
Clerical Customer 1t WAS certainly
very kind of you not to awaken me
The rest has done me good, and | am
very thankful to YOU for what was
really Il very refreshing sleep.
Barber Don't mention it. sir. It's
only a fair return. | attended service
Mt your church last Sunday.-Boston
Courier.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
The Coming Race.

81 see that some English doctor or
something says that we are develop
ing into legless race"
"How could there be a race without
legs"
Easy. What's the matter with u
steamboat race? AT the same time, it
looks as if a legless race would be a
great boom for politics"
"IIow SOP
Everybody would be going on the
stump. Plain Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

Old MIR has am only daughtcr
They are of lowls- rank, but he is hon
est and industrious. by trade he is Il
puddlcr IN Il foundry and he earns
$l.m Il day. Twenty years ago the
wife and mother died, and the child OF
five became the old mans pet Twelve
years ago he sold his property and
spent all his money in sending her
abroad to study music. She came back
two years ago Il famous singer and n
matchlc@s l,cnnty and refused to own
her fatlier He has moved to tile east
side in order That by living ON Il pitt
tancc he may have S2o every week 10
give her TO buy cl.tlles. Every week
he sends it, aud every week she spends
1T, though she neither sees nor writes
to him. Week after week he grows Il
little prou'l"r and also II little sadtlcr-
City Missionary in Ladies' Home Jour
nal
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Vha cracndile

The erotsSliles lower jaw is not
socketed in the skull. as is the case
with otlier animals, but the skull is
socketcd in the jaw, 50 that the ami
NAL can lift the upper part of its head
as upon hinge and so capture what
ever prey may be at hand without go-
ing to the trouble of getting upon its
legs
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Her Smile.

He looked despairingly into vacancy.
~ have had my misgivings." he said
in 4 t.lll, pa.ssionless voice. but now I
am sure. Your laugh shows me you are
utterly heartless.'
She turned pale.
'Heavensw she cried In terror. "Did
l open my mouth as wide as that?'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Not a Sensible Mnn.

Daushter-Oh, mamma, do wish Z
were pretty!
Mother-You needn't, dear. Sensible
men think very little about beauty.
Daughter-But it isn't sensible men
I'm thinking about. mamma; it's Char
lie. .se s.sssgsj
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Animals In Turkey.

In Turkey the partridge is detested
because once it betrayed the prophet to
his enemies, and its legs are red be-
cause they were dipped in the blood of
llassan II man kills a panther, he
is imprisoned for twenty-four hours
and then is handsomely rewarded The
crane is respected, and it is crime to
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
What He Wanted to snv,

Prisoner at the bar" said the judge,
lis there anything you wish to say be-
fore sentence is passed on you?"
The prisoner looked wistfully toward
the door and remarked that he would
like to say Good evening"" if it would
be agreeable to the company.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

Symonds-So you object to woman
suffrage. should like to know upon
what grounds. if you have any reason
able ones.
Belcher-I've heard more than n hun
dred women say the men are all alike.
With such an idea in their heads, how
can you expect an intelligent use of the
suffrage from them! = Boston Tran
script.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Not to HlaIne

he-Saturday is our silver wedding.
Don't you think we ought to kill the
pig and have a feast!
He-Kill the pig? don't see why
the poor animal is to blame for what
happened twenty-five years go"-Lon-
don Tit-Bits.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Candid.

"Do you mean to say that you have
not read all of Shakespearcs playsY'
NO." answered Miss Cayenne. '"To
tell the truth, l did not mean to say
it. AS in the case of most people, the
confession slipped out quite by acci-
dent. t."-Washington.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
One s,r, c9 Ola .,.

Henry-IIow can q man tell when 70
begins to get old?
John-Well, Il man has begun to get
old when he finds out that he would
rather sit 10y the fire than go sleigh rio.
ing.-Detroit Free Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Ready For The E.periment.

His Fiancee-Are you sure you would
love Inc just as tendcrly if our condi-
tions We're reversed-if you We're rich
and were poor?
He-Reverse our conditions and try
me.-Harlem Life.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
A Wax to KIN.

Fashionable Doctor (out for a days
shooting) : Never saw such luck.
What's the matter with the birds?
can't kill one of them!
Host-Write 'em prescription, doc
tor!
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
or cnnr.e They Do.

HiXon = Do you believe that man
originally sprang from the monkey!
DiXon-Nc; but believe that all wo-
men sWing from MICE Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

Satan puts another gridiron on the
fire when be sees man buying beer
with the money his wife earaed at the
washtub.-C Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

The iron pen mentioned by Job in the
boo!- of that name in the Bible is sup
posed to have been a steel graver used
for cutting Inscriptions on stone,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Nerve Required.

Perdita-Did you say. This is SO sue
den?'
Constance-I didn't have the nerve.
You knew how he atu.tsrs.-Chicago
Record Herald. 1''sS-s 9.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03
Lady Helm A-nlentx.

Mrs. Rangle-I've advertised for a
servant for whole week With no re-
suits.
Mrs. Cumso-Wcll advertised for a
good looking lady help and had thirty
four to select from the first day.-Bai-
timore Sun.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

J Lack OF sense Is too often blamed on
lack Of conhdence.-Atchison Globe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-04-03

1t is stated that when the husband
is younger than the wife the offspring
is more apt to be girl than 10y.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-09
SENATE PUT IN THE DAY DISCUSSING
AMENDMENTS, TO IMMIGRATION BILL

The head tax amendment was dis
cussed at length by Messrs. CALM
ger, Hoar, Fairbanks, Penrose, Lodge
and Foraker, and finally was agreed to-
The committee amendment making the
tax a lien on the property of the trans
portation lines bringing aliens to the
United States was disagreed to.
An amendment by Mr.. Lodge was
adopted, providing that the head tax
shall not be levied on aliens in tran
sit through the United States, nor on
aliens once admitted TO have paid the
tax
Section 8, prescribing an educational
test, was passed over temporarily.
An amendment was agreed TO re-
pealing the laws relating to perjury to
all persons swearing falsely as to their
right of admission to the United
States
Section IS of the bill, prohibiting the
sale of intoxicants within the limits
of the capitol building, and which was
stricken out by the senate committee.
was passed over temporarily.
The reading of the bill having been
concluded, and the committee amend
| ments, except those passed over,
adopted, the bill was laid aside for the
day and the senate passed three unob-
jeeted pension bills.
At 4;20 p. m. the senate went into
executive session and at 4:45 p. m
adjourned.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-09
WHILE We WARN
We Also Comfort and Cheer
Paine'sCeIery
Compound
Is An InfaIlible Cure
for all Forms Of
Rheumatism.

Although we are all born with the prin-
ciples of dissolution in our frame, which
continue to operate from our birth TO
our death. we are under obligation to
heaven and our loved ones to keep our
selves free from disease and suffering.
While death must come to every human
being, pain may be avoided, and our days
made happy and long, II we keep the
blood and physical structure in proper
condition.
At this time. while we warn the thou
sands of rheumatic sufferers Of the folly
and danger of allowing rheumatism to
run unchecked at this season OF the year.
we can comfort them with the happy
assurance that Paine's Celery Compound
permanently cures the terrible disease.
This wOndrous medicine has won the
hearty indorsation of medical men, and
its virtues are lauGed by tens or thou
sands rescued from agony and death.
Mr. Charles w. Tucker Mount Pleasant
s. c.. who banished mis- rheumatism by
use of Paine's Celery Compound writes
1t is now going on two months since
have taken Paine's Celery Compound
for rheumatism. No other medicine, I
think. could ever have done me so much
good. / have not had an attach of il
since. Previous to taking the Compound
! tried everything. and had two of the
best doctors in Charleston, but they only
gave me some relief for a few days. Two
bottles of Paine's Celery Compound COM
Dieteiy cured me-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-09
SEVERE SHOCKS OF EARTHQUAKE AND
VOLCANIC ERUPTION STARTLE SAMOA

recent origin than Savaii, will not be
affected by the outburst.
Previous to the present outbreak the
only eruption known to the people now
living occurred between the islands of
Tau and Oleosega in the Manua portion
OF Samoa about thirty-f1ve years ago
when the sea became greatly agitated
sand and rocks were thrown UP and
the island of Oleosega became devas-
tated through the vapors arising from
the ocean where the disturbance took
place. At the same time millions of
fish were destroyed, but the bank then
formed, which has a depth of water
over it of thirty fathoms. is a IA
Yorite fishing ground for the people of
Manua now.
survey is being made of the false
bottom of the United States steamship
Wheeling, now used as the station ship
for Tutuila. 1t is rumored that the
Warship viii be condemned as unsea-
worthy. Her false bottom has corroded
so much that it appears like sieve and
the boilers have sunk below their level
and are pressing hard on the false bot
tom. The cOrrOSion has been going on
for some time previous to the time
when the present engineer in charge
and his predecessor Joined the ship. II
is believed that she must at once be re-
lieved and go to Mare island, or some
other place, for repairs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-12-09

washington, Dec. S--The senate to-
day adopted all the committee amend
ments to the immigration bill, with
the exception Of one prescribing an
educational test, and also the action
of the committee in striking out sec
ton SO. prohibiting the sale of intox-
ieants within the capitol building, and
then laid aside the bill until tomor-
row to pass a number of unobjected
pension bills.
The amendment fixing a So head tax
on each immigrant coming into the
United States furnished the principal
topic for debate.
After routine business in the SEN
ate, Mr.. Quay sent to the desk and
had read the resolutions adopted by
the Indian territory executive commit
tee on territorial legislation in oppo-
sition to the statehood bill combining
Oklahoma and Indian territory, ex-
pressing sympathy for Oklahoma in
her efforts to secure statehood, appeal
ing for some form of local self gov
eminent, such as is provided for in
what is known as the Moon bill, and
denouncing certain people who. it i,
charged, have misrepresented the de-
sires of the citizens of Indian ter
tory with regard to joint statehood
with Oklahoma.
Mr.. Penrose CPa.) called up the i'm
migration Dill.