West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-09-04
Mr.. BOWsER's
BIRTHDAY.
Several Important and Trivial Things
Happen In Honor or the Occasion.

morning as he quietly observed:
"Perhsps I've got birthday as
we'll as other folks, though you don't
seem to have remembered it,"
eve had it in mind for a week."
replied Mrs. Bowser, "and have
been wondering how we could
celebrate the day. Yes; you are 81
years old to day. and l COM
FIFTY sevenl" he shouted as he
wheeled on her. "Where in thun-
der did you get your information
that l was an antediluvian1"
"But 81 isn't DID,"
cts blamed sight older'n ami
I'm exactly So years old to-day if |
know anything about il. How did
you get the idea that was SIP"
ell don't know, unless it was
from the family record in the bible"
''Does that record say Pm 81
years old1"
ell believe So"
"Then it's a blamed old lying re-
cord, and il shows what kind of a
woman you are that you go snoop-
ing around and sticking your nose
into other peoples businessp
"But even il you are 81 you don't
look day older than 49," she said,
hoping to mollify him. "a man at
81 is only middle.agcd."
keep harping on 81, will you'll
Didn't | say l was only 533"
"Well, So then, and now let's
make happy day it. Mrs. Shaw
was asking me the other day if you
had turned IS yet, and she said she
had often noticed your springy walk
and CHEEKY way"
This was white lie, of course,
but Mr.. Bowser chirked up and
breakfast was success. He had
decided to make a holiday OF it,
and the question arose as to where
they should go. It had been set
tied that they would take trolley
ride into the country and pick black
berries and chase lambkins, when
the gas meter man came along with
his bill. If Mrs. Bowser could
have got hold of it first all would
have been we'll, but the man coolly
and calmly placed it in Mr.. Bowser's
hands, and the figures had scarcely
been read before there was an ex-
plosion.
"By the great hornspoou, but
will you tell me what this means2"
shouted hoarse voice.
"Why, it's the gas bill for last
month, /" replied Mrs. Bowser, "and
notice that it is $3.50 less than
last month"
but it's for 81"
"Well, that's very reasonable.
Our bills in the winter are always
from S. to SO. We needn't pay it
for two weeks yet, you know"
"Woman, you can take off that
hail" rumblcd Mr.. Bowser. "There
will b. no lambkins chased by us to-
day. On the contrary, the sheriff
will probably chase us out Of house
and home Great Scott, l am being
robbed right in my own housed"
"Can we burn gas without pay
ing for it?" asked Mrs. Bowser with
a dDge OF defiance in her tones.
"Who said we could2 We expect
to pay, Of course; but / don't expect
that you are going to knuck in with
the gas company to rob me. How
much of whack do they give you
out of this bill2"
His query was treated with silent
contempt, and for an hour he sat on
the doorstep and smoked. Then a
better feeling took possession OF him
and he decided to forgive Mrs.
Bowser for her reckless extravag-
ancc. 1t was too late to chase
lambkins DER the dewy fields, as the
dew had all been sucked up, but
they could ride out to the park and
view the gondolas and feed the
squirrels.
"Thaps more like YOU" replied
Mrs. Bowser as he told her TO get
ready. az knew you would not
blame me about the gas bill"
81 was just put out for minute, "
he said with laugh. "If you
hadn't said I was 81 years oid"--
"Fifty-three, dear; / misspoke
myself Fifty.threc years old, and
you didn't look younger at 49,"
lie kissed her for that, but, alas,
Nemesis was again at the gate. II
was he Nemesis in the guise Of a
butcher boy He had a little bill
for dollar and odd, and he thrust
il under Mr. Bowser's nose. Mrs.
Bowser gssped and waited. 1t came
"By the ears II my grandmother.
but what does this mean1 I give
| Won roonev ,veekly 10 49,. Ill sin.