davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
An Apologize Luncheon.

He was considerably past middle
age, and he possessed gray chin wills
kers and hair that curled under in the
back.
1t was noon, and he walked into n
restaurant which was by no means a
quick lunch place.
Just bring me a little bread and
butter and a cup of tea. don't feel
very hungry"
After the waiter had disappeared the
floor man approached him. Have you
given your order, sir?" he asked.
Yes" explained the old gentleman
in a conciliatory voice. Il just ordered
Il little bread and butter and cup of
tea. l amt very hungry"
Just as he had finished his luncheon
an acquaintance entered and took
seat by his side.
Had your lunch?" inquired his
friend.
YES 1 wasn't very hungry, SO 1
just ordered n little bread and butter
and n cup of tea"
When he stopped at the cashiers
window, he presented the check, which
called for 10 cents. and put down the
coin.
Il only had little bread and butter
and cup of tea" he explained. Il
wasn't very hungry."-New York Her
aid
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
A FAIRY S TOR Y

When young Count Rufus had lost
his fortune and was going out into the
world, his old nurse said to him:
Count Rufus, if you would find
your fortune see that you despise moth
ing, however small or worthless it may
seem. Great walls are made of little
bricks"
And the count remembered the say
ing, because Nurse Deborah was a
wise woman and never said anything
for naught.
Count Rufus lived in a desolate old
castle on the top of a mountain. All
the mountain was covered with ice and
snow, so that he had hard work in go
ing down to avoid a tumble into the
black, deep ravine. A thousand feet
below and at the base of the mountain
was a thick forest, through which he
must pass before he could reach the
road that led to court.
What can't be cured must be en-
dured, however" said the count to him.
self as he walked slowly down the
mountain.
On the way down he saw hanging
on a bush an old hat that looked as If
it had been dropped there by some
poor person passing that way. a scrub
by old hat enough it looked, but the
count remembered his nurses saying
and, picking it up, put it in his pocket.
Hardly had he done so when an ugly
little old man started out from behind
a tree.
Bring back that hatv' screamed the
little man. what are you robbing
honest folks for?"
Honest man. answered the count,
laughing, eff that hat is yours how
happened it that it was hanging on
tree instead of your head| And in
spirit of mischief he put the hat on his
own head. 1T fits me very WELL" said
he. 81 have taken a fancy to the hat,
my friend"
ooh, you make game of me, do you"
cried the little man in rage and be-
gan to run after the count.
That was not much matter, for the
count was an excellent runner, but
presently he found that the little man
instead of running on two legs. like
himself. turned round and round on one
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Seton knew the Mountaineer.

Before college closed last spring Err
nest Thompson-Seton went out TO Stan
ford university to deliver Il lecture on
wild animals TO whom he had intro
duced himself, or some kindred sub
ject He was entertained ut dinner be-
fore the lecture, and about the board
were several western biologists Of
prominence. One strenuous young west
erner whose occupation lies in catch
Ing wild animals alive spoke of Il COM
mission which he had just received to
capture some Rocky mountain sheep.
How will you go about itT' ques-
toned Mr.. Thompson.
III try to get them when young
lambs" said the young man, before
they are able to move about rapidly"
You'll never be able to do IT." said
the author-lecturer. Don't you know
that an hour after birth a mountain
goat can move about the rocks faster
than you can Tun?"
Did you ever see one do it!" asked
the young man quietly.
No" said Mr.. Thompson, "but an
old mountaineer told me they could"
well, Mr.. Thompson, you know that
old mountaineer, and we don't.
The subject of conversation changed.
New York Times.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Due to the Relationship.

A peripatetic of the barefooted va
riety met a farmer, who was also a
church deacon. The deacon was TAX
ing lunch under his own vine and fig
tree and unto him the peripatetic said:
Sir, am very hungry"
You haven't been shaved replied
the deacon.
NO, but I'm very hungry"
You're very dirty, into the bargain"
Yes. but I'm very hungry"
''Well, can you say the Lords
Prayer?"
NO, 1 can't.
"wiI you say it fer a piece of
bread?"
Il will
The deacon started in with "Our
Father" at the same time cutting off
a slice as he enunciated the words.
The tramp repeated "Our Father,
then suddenly asked:
Did you say Our FatherP"
Eyes. Our Father"
''Stop just a moment" continued the
and my father?'
Il do answered the deacon
"Then we are brothers" triumphant
" proceeded the unshaved.
1--WE are"
''Then. for our fathers sake, cut that
bread thicker aQd cut it quicker
Boston Herald.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
New Short
Stories. ~
King Alfonso and MIR.
Storcr.

Alfonso NH. Of Spain may not have
acquired as yet quite - much tact as
IS considered requisite in one whose re
lauons are largely diplomatic. but
there is no Mistaking the keen ulser-
walton and quick good humor of the
boy, which is constantly shown in the
actions of the king
One evening just before this last of
the bourbon monarchs took the oath
he was receiving at an informal rpccp-
ton To the diplomatic CORPS He was
Rot quite used to the situation. and his
manner WIS Il little awkward in meet
ing the majority of the representatives
or the powers. but when Bellany StO-
rCr, the American minister. approached
h:n Il smile spread over his face Al
fuuSu had seen more of Mr. Storer than
o. the majority of the foreign repre-
SCntativCS, and those standing near an
ucipatCd some remark in reference to
their friendship. But the young king
had noticed what none of the others
had observed. that Mr.. Storer's eye
Was somewhat swollen and slightly
diScolorcd
How queer you look was the de
Cidcdly Informal greeting accorded tn
What did it,
1ir. Sturer replied that he had been
struck by book falling from a high
shelf. ut which Alfonso said:
The weather is getting too nice to
stay indoors and read. Come and ride
with me tomorrow"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Woman Doesn't Obey Rules.

In spite of their historic solidarity, in
spite of the powerful and binding i'll
fiuence of their common womanhoOd
and in spite of all the thoughts and
feelings in which they share. | doubt
whether such 4 thing as Friendship in
its very highest sense can ever exist
between two women, for the essential
elements of friendship are uuheSitating
confidence and unswervinG loyalty. and
these are precisely the two things which
can never by any possibility be given
by one woman to another.
Honor. in the mans understanding of
this word. is something that has no cX
istence in 4 woman's nature. While
she loves and while she cares. she viii
be loyal with Il loyalty that neither
suffering nor disgrace nor death itself
can shake, but that higher loyalty
which is faithful even to those who
wrong tin this no woman has u
share.-Rafrord Pyke in Cosmopolitan.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
,JEDBURY'S
JOB ~
By Douglas Cameron
>9ee%0&ooHoA0pS~O~e
Copyright, 1901, by Douglas Cameron

Jack -Jedbury did not see her when
she arrived at the Tiptop House. At
that particular moment he was per-
spring in his . by . room on the top
floor in painful and laborious effort
10 supply two missing buttons on his
outing shirt.
AS Il rule, Jack lounged ON the porch
when the bus from the afternoon train
arrived, partly to give the resort a pop
ulous air and partly to impress new
arrivals with the fact that the hotel
boosted of at least one presentable
man, for poor Jedbury was merely
playing the role of guest.
During his college vacations. through
which he had worked his way by dint
of much tutoring of gilded youths, he
had waited table at various mountain
resorts. Such work was not considered
beneath the dignity of Il self support
Ing collegian. But he was out of col
lege this year, and in the fall an open
ing in the law office of Senator Daw-
son awaited him. In the meantime he
must live, SO he hied himself back to
the White mountains.
The proprietor of the Tiptop House
looked over this athletic applicant for
walters duties and said grimly:
You're too decent looking n chap
to waste on Il dining room. We're al
ways short on men up here. Now, I'll
give you not only board and lodging,
but small salary also. If you'll make
yourself agreeable to the ladies. espe-
cially the plain ones, and tinkle your
banjo ON the porch evenings when the
moon is up and the girls feel roman
tic"
Jack had entered upon his strange
duties with Il keen sense of the ridicu-
lous. 1t recalled college theatricals,
and he was not bad actor, And then
she came and spoiled it all.
She was Josephine Denton. Dicks
sister and Jack had been Dicks favor
lite coach. When Josephine attended
the junior prom, she had heartily APP
proved of Dicks sentiments toward his
sturdy tutor and had signaliZed her
approval by giving the latter two half
dances and one entire extra. That had
been moons and moons ago, yet neither
had forgotten their meeting and fare
well. all ON one eventful evening.
The hotel manager had Il diabolical
scheme for moving Jack from table to
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Considerable Patience required.

Courtney, the famous rowing coach,
invited n member of the faculty of Cor
nell university to accompany him down
Cayuga lake one evening to watch the
crews practicing. After half an hours
observation that seemed wholly salts
factory to Courtney he remarked:
''They look nice, don't they, profess
orr"
Yes" slowly replied the savant;
''they look nice enough, but how eX-
tremely awkward it must be for them
tc learn to row backwardr'
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Taxation,

For the beginning of taxation we
must go to Roman times. Taxes were
then levied on agricultural produce
and cattle, and there was also Curl
Gus and very oppressive tax on
corpses, which was one of the causes
of the revolt of the Iceui under Boad-
icea. From the earliest time of the
heptarchy there existed what may be
called a national levy for general pur-
poses. chiefly clerical, since two-thirds
of it were devoted to the maintenance
of the clergy and repairs of sacred
buildings. The other third was the
original of our present poor rates.
One of the earliest general taxes was
the shameful danegeld. levied by Ethel
red the Unready in 99l for the purpose
of buying off the Danish marauders.
1t was duly sanctioned by the witan
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06

| don! We thought this corner quite ue-
serted She was holding out her hand
ana smiling. My mother, Mr.. Jed
| bury-in Dickie's class, you know"
Jack stammered over his greeting
| and watched for an early opportunity
or retiring gracefully. Under the cir
| cumstances it was the only decent
thing to do.
Really, Mr.. Jedbury," went on the
girl, with just n tinge of reprOach in
her voice, lit was hardly kind of you
not to come over to our table this even
ing, seeing we were perfect strangers.
1t was not-well. just exactly fra
ternal" This with a laugh as she
pointed to the secret society pin on her
waist, the counterpart of the one on
Jacks shirt
Half an hour later Jack was vaguely
wondering what had become of his
virtuous determination not to inflict
such a sham as his unworthy self on
she Dentons. For that space he was
living in paradise. Then
Il wonder where dear Mr. Jedbury
is. We had an appointment for row
on the lake"
1t was Miss Tubbs, who did not belle
her name. Jack rose awkwardly, his
face crimsoning under Miss Denton's
gaze.
II think some one is calling me-"
Don't let me detain YOU" returned
Miss Denton, with just a touch of hau-
teur in her tones. And the unhappy
Jack strobe off with Miss Tubbs
Every night for week when he
sought his hot room under the roof
Jack perjured himself afresh with
vows to abstain from Miss DentOn's
company. As n matter of fact he was
at her side morning, noon and night.
In time the walls of Miss Simpkins
and the other frumps reached the ears
of the hotel manager. lie was man
of action. The next day Jack received
this buSinesslike note:
Mr. Jedbury-You're not keeping to your
bargain. Drop your flirting with Miss d.
or I'll blow the game on you. and then
see hSr drop you.
Had the hotel man been foolhardy
enough to deliver that bit of advice in
person Jack would probably have come
near killing him. As it was, he tore the
note into myriad small pieces, and,
murmuring. IN tell her myself and
save you the trouble" he strobe down
the hill after Miss Denton. He caught
up with her in Il quiet. secluded nook Of
rocks, where the lichen and moss grew
rank and Il tinkling stream sang per
petual love songs to the overhanging
ferns.
The shadows fell thick about them or
he might have noticed that Miss Den
tons face turned color as he told of his
impending departure. Presently she
spoke:
I'VE shall miss you. II am very
sorry"
And I shall miss YOU" he muir
INJURED, almost under his breath. She
bent forward as if TO catch the words.
Then softly:
How much? Won't you tell me?"
He threw discretion to the winds and
blurted out the whole miserable story.
When he finished, her hand had crept
mysteriously into his.
II knew it all the time. Jack. You
are a miserable actor. but Senator Daw-
son-he's our cousin, you knOw-says
you have the making of a splendid
lawyer"
Both her hands were in his now, and
he held them tight.
do you mean that, Josephine, and
will you waltz"
She nodded her head slowly. Only
the tinkling stream heard the rest. And
the ripping brook knows the old, old
story by heart, and so do the dropping,
quivering ferns.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06

! Fifth avenue-that's lie. And I'm
doing this because it's the only thing
for me to do"
"That's another" said the watch
man promptly. He leaned oyer the
side of the pier, swinging his arm in q
sharp, sweeping gesture.
whats that you're doing?" the man
demanded suspiciously.
Just throwing away my plug of to-
bacco. Amt you going to tell me it
straight
The man pondered. There was a
splashing sound from below hardly to
be distinguished from the wash of the
ripples. and in the watchman's atti-
tude certain alertness.
Don't try any tricks" the man said,
unless you want to hasten matters"
Right across the end" said the
Waterman sharply.
The man stared. Il guess you're
little queer yourself" he remarked.
But as you're polite enough to be in
terested, I'll tell you this much. It's
a case of woman"
That's what l thought" said the
Waterman eagerly. But don't you
let it knock you out this way Brace
up
It's no use" said the man quietly.
There's no help for this
lis she dead?'
Worse" replied the man.
Gee" said the Waterman. That's
tough. Tough" he repeated, and
there was honest sympathy in his
voice.
Yes" said the man dispassionately,
1T is, rather. I'd been away for year
and when 1 came blackwell. 1 found
out. What's that
The tread of feet on the far end Of
the pier fell on his ear. He peered
anXiously back. half turning.
II must be going" he said.
Look behind YOU" said the watch
man.
The man whirled around, facing the
river. Across the end of the pier float
ed Il rowboat. held in place by two
men, who padded gently. The watch
mans whistle sounded its keen. rat
fling note.
''YOu can't do it," he said to the man.
They'll catch you if you jump; wharf
rats and can swim like fish
The flooring of the pier was now
vibrating with the heavy impact of
swift feet. With cry the man made
a rush for the unprotected side of the
pier, but the Waterman intercepted
and grappled him.
Help he shouted as they both fell.
They Were locked tightly together
when the police reached them.
This gentleman" painted the watch
man as he got to his feet. has been
drinking some and was walking off the
end of the dock
Never mind that" interrupted the
man. THE games up l am Charles
Sales, gentleman" he added, turning
to the police. 81 am the man that's
wanted"
'Wanted?" repeated the Waterman
stupidity. What for?''
Murder; that's ALL answered one
Of the policemen, and there was eX-
ultation in his voice, for this was n
big catch. "Shot a man and a girl in
an uptown restaurant this evening.
Come along. Sales"
The Waterman looked blankly at the |
man. Tiff I'd only known" he |
His eyes wandered away |
and fell on the little pile of money |
lying on the pier. Hold on" he said |
weakly. ''You-you left something be- |
hind you
keep the change" said the man bit
terly. you've earned it."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
A Lucky Illness.

1t was owing to an illness that Sir
Lawrence Alma-Tadema became Il
painter. He was educated with the in
tention of making him Il lawyer, but
sickness cut his studies short. When
confined to his bed, he relieved the tedi-
UNI by making little sketches. These
showed so much ability that when he
was well again he readily obtained his;
mothers permission to devote himself
to painting.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Endorsed the Kings Conduct.

Readers of the Sketch Will recollect
that on the occasion OF the recent visit
of the king and queen To the Isle of
Man an illustration of the royal party.
including Hall Caine. who acted as
cicerone. was published. In that pho
ToEraph there is Il picture of Il small
boy wearing his hat. He is Derwent.
the younger son of Mr.. and Mrs. Caine.
and is ten years old. Only he and the
Marquis de Several. the Portuguese
ambassador. remained covered in the
presence of the king, the marquis be-
cause he does fealty to another SOW
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06

| leg and that he could go in that way
two miles to the counts one. More
than that, the count came presently to
the forest, and there it was nearly as
dark as midnight. He stumbled about
and as he did so heard the wood elves
laughing at him.
"a fig for nurse and her advicew he
said in a rage. ''What did want with
this old hat? only wish was out of
the forest"
He had not time to finish the SEN
tence, for the moment he said it he felt
himself lifted up in the air, and. clear
ing the entire forest at one jump, there
he was on the other side, walking along
the road that led to the city.
THAT is very odd" he said to him
self and rubbed his eyes and nose to
see if he were dreaming.
1T would be very comfortable" he
said to himself, ito get ones wishes as
easily as that. If l could say now, L
wish my supper would come walking
out of the bush,' and thereon a fine
sirloin, with n bottle of wine, should
prance out
But before he could get any further
ont came n noble sirloin of steak with
knife and fork ON n silver dish and
bottle of red wine, marching along Sc
dately, and planted themselves before
him.
This is wonderful cried the count,
but since it costs so little l wish also
for some salmon, of which l am very
fond, dish of cartridges and basket
of fruit
Instantly the boughs of the tree I'M
der which he was standing bent down
toward him, and he saw hanging from
them salmon, baskets of fruit and par
tridges.
Hello, here is wonderful bearing OF
fruit! said the count, laughing. IF
the trees do such things in the winter,
what would they not yield in the sum-
mer?"
But all this time it never came into
his stupid pate that the old hat on his
head had anything to do with these
wonders. When lie had eaten and
drunk to his satisfaction. he said to-
himself, Il wish L knew which of the
two roads at the angle there leads to
the court
Out whisked a squirrel from among
some stones.
Take that road to the right" said
the squirrel, scampering up the tree.
The count stared after him. with his
mouth SO wide open that Master SPUR
rel might have jumped down if he
chose.
why, the squirrels talk rather than
l should not have my wish. l wish 1
had a fine horse and knew how I
looked. 1 have not seen myself since l
left home, and one wishes to be decent
at court"
Instantly pranced out Il horse from
among the trees, saddled and bridlcd
and ready to mount.
AT the same moment he heard some
robins tittering: Did you ever see such
Il shocking bad hat? He, he!'
The count pulled off the hat and
threw it in the road.
II can wish for n fine new one" said
he.
But, no, you can't, you blockhead;
no. you can't"' cried the little man on /
one leg, jumping out and dancing |
around him. THAT was the wishing |
hat. and you have thrown it away!'
"Oh, dear! Why did not my nurse |
tell me?" lamented this BOBBY of Il
count. But L shall know better the |
next timer
And so perhaps he might. But the |
next time never came. People do not |
pick up wishing hats twice in life
lime
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
q KEPT MY EYES on THE KING"

ereign and Master Derwent for a rea-
son of his own which came out when
the photograph had been printed and
he was looking at it with his mother.
"Derwent," she said, "why didn't you
take your hat off? Didn't you see that
all the gentlemen did 500" Yes moth
err" he replied, but 1 kept my eye on
the king. because 1 knew whatever he
did would be all right, so when he kept
his hat on it would be right enough for
me."--London Sketch.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
Foreign to His belief.

81 begin to suspect" said Mrs. Old
castle, that your husband is a good
deal of an altruist"
''Oh, no." her hostess replied; Josiah
amt one of them at all. He thinks
things just happen according to the
way they are at the time"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
xn1ne of Canned Goods.

The fruits and vegetables canned
and preserved each year in the United
States have a value of more than $45,-
600 600. The number of pounds of to-
matoes canned is double that of the
corn. OF fruits canned peaches stand
first in value. being S4.5O0.00O. The
plebeian pumpkin is canned to the val
Ne of more than S200,OJ0.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
HOW He would KNOW.

An inquisitive woman once asked
Professor Andree before he left on his
i'll fated balloon trip, How will you
know when you have really crossed the
north pole, professors" ''Oh, that will
be simple enough, madam replied
Andrea, with his we'll known dry hui
NOR "a north wind will become a
south wind"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
who KnowsR

Mamma" said little Elsie, when
people are ashamed they always get
red in the face don't they?"
81 believe so. dear" was the reply.
''Then," continued the little observer,
81 wonder why Uncle George only gets
ashamed in his nose ?"-Indianapol
Sim
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06

and produced an amount equal to a
million pounds sterling. Once levied.
the tax became permanent ard one of
the chief of the revenues of the crown
till it was abolished in the reign of
Henry II. The earliest tax mentioned
in 'Domesday Book" is fumage, or
hearth tax, levied on all houses accord
ing to the number of hearths or fire.
places. In the reign of Charles II. this
tax was revived under the name of
hearth money.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
The Youth of Today.

Visitor-That young fellow seems
rather pert; acted as if he knew more
than you.
Merchant-Naturally.
Visitor-Why naturally?
Merchant-He's my son.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
PingpongIet For FIatIet.

eyes. ma'am," says the sa1eslady;
"this is the new game of pingponglet"
But it is so very little" objects the
customer. "It looks like toy"
at is quite popular" declares the
saleslady. 1T is a miniature of the
other game and is especially designed
to be played in a. fiat."-.Judge.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-12-06
His Looks Belle Him.

"There's vast difference between a
mans looks and his real WORTH
"Yes?'
Eyes; there's Blobbinson. He's worth
100000, but no board of appraisers,
judging by his looks, would value him
at more than % cents.''-San Francisco
Bulletin.