The Virginia enterprise., 1902-11-07

cars W0lle on e0rtQ:
Recent Arrival-Yes, sir.
St. Peter-Did you sit on the end OF
the seat?
St. P.-Sow, will you state what you
did when a lady entered the same street
car pew with you?
X. Al moved over.
st. P.-Enter.-BOStOn Post.
bel, let's play Adam and Eve. You be
Eve and I'll be Adam.
Mabel-all right. Well?
Willie-NoW you tempt me to eat your
apple, and Ill give way to temptation.
Mrs. Hansom-I understand, sir, that
you have secretly been making love to
my daughter, and / must forbid an ac-
quaintance begun in that way. You
should have seen ME first.
shrewd suitor3 Madame, had I seen
daughter and fallen in love with you.
Mrs. Hansom-Um-thei informality of
the proceeding was all l objected to.
Come with me and l will introduce you
to my husband.
II suppose said the plain citizen. sar-
casticallv. your convention was perfect
ly harmonious?'
:oh. shure'' replied o'FlXnn; fG?,oSt I'VE w all all
Wi5t d@ to it lookn f9h fGlght prsss an
A nervous drummer, who carries with
him wherever he goes coil of rope, was
asked by the landlord of small hotel
near Milwaukee what was the rope for.
"That's a fire escape" explained the
visitor, land 1 always nave it with me,
50 that in case Of fire / can let myself
down from the window" :, o..
the landlord, ''but guests with fire es-
capes pay in advance at this hotel.'-
New York News.
Briggs-Do you believe that the world
is divided into two classes-those who
borrow and those who lend;
Griggs-No, sir! Ny experience is that
two other classes are much more preva-
lent-those who want to borrow and
those who won't lend.-Exchange.
-:O:--
Johnny-Pa, what is the sugar ques-
tion about?
Pa-Why, you see, Johnny, it's this
way: The Cuban planters-er-that is,
the Western beet growers-I mean-oh,
20 ask your mother. Maria, if you had
half the sense of an idiot you'd explain
and not allow me to be pestered while
I'm writing my great article on Sugar
Made lear."--Brooklyn Life.
4,~.ss Gush-What do you suppose the
result would be ~ we could hear what
our rlends saw nut us in our absence?
Miss Candor-1 think we'd have a tri-
tle more modesty and considerably few
er friends.-Town and Country.
AN IMPROVEMENT.
II hear that Cactus Tim had his leg
"Yes," said Tarantula Tom: RAILROAD
did it-nipped his feet off clean and sure.
He's stumpin' round on wooden pins
now."
"How does he like it?''
'Fust rate. He says he can't get
snakes in his boots now!'-Judge.
He courted gem of girl,
And wen the5 the5 nt
Her ma came and tarrfed,
Though he didn't like mother of pearl.
Philadelphia Record.
Mabel (apropos Of new evening dress
which has just arrived from the dress
maker)-Oh, mother how lovely! Do
Mother-No, dear, not tonight. This is
for when ladies and gentlemen come to
dinner.
Mabel-Mother, dear, do let's pretend,
just for once, that fathers a gentleman!
-Tt-Bits.
Mistress (discharging servant)-Brid-
get, I'm sorry l can't keep you any
Brideet-Faitb. mum! How did vo1
guess thot OF wuz jist after leavin' yez?
brooklyn Life.
HAD BEEN THERE.
Old Gentleman Ito James, whom he
has recently promoted from the farm to
be his bodyguard)-James, 20. up to nv
study and in the third drawer from the
top you will see
James-Cigars, sir?
0. G.-Yes. How did you find them?
James-Very good, sir!-Punch.
Reapn' Of de Ian you sowed-
Work a-gittin' Stacker,
Niger dancin' in de road
Fer chaw terbacker!
Atlanta Constitution.
"Gracious!' exclaimed Farmer Kraft's
wife, 'you don't mean to say you bought
gold brick in town. Yep. It cost me
seventeen cents replied Farmer Kraft,
"but I'm tellin' everybody it cost fifteen
hundred dollars. You. see, if folks hear
O. me spendin' that much fur a gold brick.
I'll be able to get all kinds o. credit
Philadelphia Press.
A number of newspapers are calling
for new national anthem: but coaPs
too high now to get up any fire for il. y.