davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

The Kansas City Southern railway
has now inaugurated for the season
its new through service from Kansas
City to Hot Springs via Salisaw and
the st. l.. |. M. & S. Ry. Through
Pullman sleeping cars run direct be-
tween Kansas City and the great
Health Resort via Little Rock.
This is the only company Offering
its patrons such service. and judging
from the liberal patronage given last
year. there is every reason to believe
that this service is highly appreciated
and what the public desires.
For rates and other information.
write s. G. Warner, G. P. A., Kansas
City Southern Railway, Kansas City.
Mo.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
surroundinr, Aga,n,t Him

Gle has told me he loved me-" said
the fair girl, confidingly. but l don't
know whether to marry him or not"
Don't you think he tells the TRUTH"
81 am sure he does his best to tell
the truth. But. you see, he works in
the weather Office"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

"You can't imagine" said the must
cal young woman. "how distressing 1t
is when singer realizes that she has
lost her voice."
Perhaps not" replied the man,
"but I've got fair idea of how 1t is
when she doesn't realize it."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

"Yes, he came of the very best New
England stock, and the girl he mar
ried belonged to one of the oldest and
most prominent southern families"
They have a son. haven't they. Is
he famous for anything?"
Eyes. He's the most incessant Gig
arctic smoker in his SET"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
As to Genius.

There is good story of hard
working actress, who, when asked how
It was that she came into sudden fame,
replied: II had good luck"
Did you?" was the further query.
"How did it happen?"
II exchanged my summer vacation
COR it,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Scalp and ALL

Barber-You really ought to try our
dandruff cure: its
Victim-Not to-day. Speaking Of
that reminds me. My grandfather was
troubled with dandruff until he hap
pened to meet with an Apache Indian
who relieved him of it.
Barber-Sort of medicine man, was
he?
Victim-No; just a warrior on the
yarpath.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Not So Very Bad.

$50 them cried the temperance lee
.urer, you have come out OF your
beastly stupor of drunken"
"Oh, beg Of you." pleaded his
wretched assistant, don't say beast
ly.' l wasn't so bad"
What. Why, you were even seeing
snakes!"
'Well-er-yes, but they were only
water snakes"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
On tho Ark.

Japheth-I guess dad wishes he had
brought some of the mob along.
Shem-Why?
Japheth-Well, the ark has sprung
a leak in the monkey department and
dad needs some extra hands to help
bail out
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Not synonymous.

City Editor-Why do you say, HE
ran into the police station, putting and
blowing?' Putting and blowing
are synonymous.
Reporter-Not at all. There's vast
difference, for instance, between putting
a man up and blowing him up.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Cultivation.

II suppose you have to make a very
cultivated young man of your boy
JOSH"
Yes" answered Farmer Corntossel.
Were cultivation him the best we
can. Every now and then mother and
me gives him a rakin' over"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
A. H. Viewed tho situation.

what do you regard as the chief OBJ
lection to modern poetry" asked the
literary critic.
THE fact that it doesn't command
higher rates of compensation" replied
the author, who, in spite of the fact
that he has long hair, and dreamy eyes,
is an intensely practical man.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

my dear fellow" said the dentist,
this doesn't hurt. It's not nearly as
painful as it will be-"
True" assented the bowling sub
ject, remembering that the bill was
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

He-T don't see why woman should
not lay something by for rainy day
as well as man.
She-Why, they do. l have lovely
rainy-day skirt.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Looked Out for the Pup.

why don't you give the baby the
bottle?"
''Ye don't suppose I'm a-goin' to let
a pup what's worth five dollars staYvs
just fer de sake O. me kid bruddsr,
do ye?"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Progress.

Progresss
"How are you getting on with your
German?" asked a young woman.
Pretty WE'LL" answered the other
II haven't yet succeeded in making
myself Ineligible to German. But
people who can't speak English don't
understand q work of what l say"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
A Young Widow.

Hell understand this boarding
house is kept by young widow
She-Yes; I'm the one.
He-Why, you're 60 years old.
She-Yes, but I've only been a
widow a week.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
For Him to Pay.

do you suppose women will ever
be sent to the legislature. Wilkins?'
Wouldn't be surprised. My wife's
inclined that way now"
your wife. Pshaw!"
Fact. Why it's no new thing for
her to introduce a bill in the house.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
No Fear.

Slopay-Hello. Where did you get
your new suit?
Snappe-Bought it.
Slopay-O. you needn't be afraid to
tell me your tailor's name. | wouldn t
go to him.
Snappe-I'm not afraid of that. He
does strictly a cash business.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Allowing the hammock to hang In
the sun and rain until 1t becomes faded
and weakened in texture.-Farm jour
naL
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Not squeezing the grease well out OF
the hot scraps when trying OF. the
lard.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

1t is easier for camel to pass
through the eye of needle than for
man married to a rich wife to be the
lord and master.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Husband (hurriedly) Intelligence has
Just reached me- Wife Ginning ip)
Thank goodness! 1t has come at last!
STRAY Stories.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Collected lYitticls ms.

(Which ditch are you in favor Of,
Nicaragua or Panama." Not the
last, by any means. "-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
A Chance TO Smile
BrgntTaes Little Relief From Lies Monoony.

yet to be paid; and then he submitted
with becoming meekness.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
"It's very unpleasant"

ooh, don't mind it as much as
usual. l am stranger in this town.
There's no one likely to give me ad-
vice about it,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Raising Glover.

From Farmers Review: 1 raise on
an average fifty acres of clover a year.
| have had only two failures in fifteen
years. These l attribute to nothing
but the dry falls. I always sow the
clover with oats. SOW the oats In
corn-stalk ground, pulverize thorough
ly, then harrow, then sow the clover at
a peck to the acre, then harrow again
and roll. Unless the weather is ex-
tremely hot and dry am sure of a
good catch. l think great deal of
trouble is in not sowing enough seed.
which makes it appear in the fall as if
there were not good stand; and when
the farmer sees it so thin he will blow
it up, whereas IL he had only sown it a
little thicker it would be all right
Chas. McKenna.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Estelle-"He says he believes in the
equality of the sexes" Allce-"Well,
he won't be SO conceited after he gets
married. brooklyn Life.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Suffering with cold?" asked the
hotel clerk.
"Yes"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18
Exports of Cheese.

A notable decline appears in the ex-
ports of cheese from the united States
in the calendar year 1901, as compared
with those of the preceding calendar
year, the 1901 exports amounting to
81 ,396,115 pounds, valued at 81, OO6, 344,
while those Of 1900 were 54O59 O49
pounds, valued at $5,549,254. Exports
of butter. on the contrary, show an
equally notable increase, having
amounted in 1901 to 24,249565 pounds,
with value of $4,1S4 1865, against 49,
2S3,537 pounds in 1900, valued at ST.
a96, O62.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Husband (hurriedly) Intelligence has
just reached me Wife Ginning ip)
Thank goodness! 1t has come at last!
STRAY Stories.
Estelle-"He says he believes in the
equality of the sexes" Allce-"Well,
he won't be so conceited after he gets
married. "-Brooklyn Life.
The Tramp-"Could you tell me, sir,
how | can find work." Billyuns-
Sure; buy an automobile and try to
keep it in running order! Baltimore
Herald.
81 Just saw man going out. doctor;
has he any new complaint" mo
same old complaint" said the man OF
pills; "bill's too large. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
Kate-I fear you will find me full Of
faults. Dick-Darling, it shall be the
dearest office of my life to correct
them. Kate-Indeed, you shan't!-
Stray Stories.
Brown: A man should speak to
his wife as he does to his horse.
Green: How is that?
Brown: Gently, but masterfully.-
Chicago News.
Hoax-"I hear that ]. Pierpont Nor
gan was one time financially en-
barrassed. Joax- Eyes; he had more
money than he knew what to do with.
Philadelphia Record.
Haven't you a cigar for me, Herr
Huber? Certainly! But l thought
you were going to stop smoking?" 80
| am. but not too abruptly. I've al
ready quit smoking my own cigars!"-
Fliegende Blaetter
Guest Gmpatiently)-Say, waiter,
how long have you been employed
here? WATERFRONT week. sab.
Guest-Oh, is that all! Then | must
give my order to some other waiter
Chicago Daily News.
Customer: Eyes, like this piece OF
goods. How much?" Tailor: pair
of pants? Five -" Cuctomer: II
never use pants want pair OF
trousers :" Tailor: "To be sure. We
will make you pair of trousers for
$10.'-Philadelphia Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

The Tramp-"Could you tell me, sir
how | can find work." Billyuns-
Sure; buy an automobile and try II
keep it in running order. "-Baltimor
Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1902-04-18

Guest (impatiently)-Say, waiter
how long have you been employed
here? WATERFRONT week, sab
Guest-Oh, is that all! Then I mus
give my order to some other waiter
Chicago Daily News.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02

attorneys In the counties where there are
no contests over the 1udgeships to recog-
nize the appointees. They can do this by
refusing to bring the criminal trials be-
fore the old Judges
Governor Stanley also has a string on
the sheriffs If they are not good and
recognize the new judges he may appoint
new sheriffs. Mr.. Lawrence says he VIII
have the support of the sheriff Of Cowiey
county. who IS a Republican. and he says
he has the assurance OF Governor Stanley
that a new sheriff will be appointed 10
succeed the Populist sheriff Of sumner
county in case he does not recognize Law
rence's court.
Judge Mcbride says that he viii not
give up his seat on the district bench
until the supreme court passes on the
question: so that extreme complications
may arise
AR Lawrence resigned his seat IN the
legislature last Friday when he was here
to see Governor Stanley. and the resigna-
ton was accepted by the governor. Law
renee has represented Sumner county
during the past two sessions. and was a
prominent figure in the house IN both
sessions
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
WARD TO REMAIN
Missouri Pacific Division Superinten-
dents Resignation Not Accepted.

Fort Scott, Kan, Jan. Id. J. Ward
division superintendent under Superin-
tendent Debernardi, who succeeded Su-
perintendent Shankland, having juris-
diction over the main line of the Mis-
souri, Pacific from Kansas City to Pu-
eblo, the X, n. G. D., and the V. V. [.
& W. has decided to remain with the
company in his present capacity Some
time ago Mr.. Ward became discouraged
over the way things were running and
sent IN his resignation. The company
refused 10 accept the ultimatum and re-
quested him TO remain. The matter was
considered and he finally decided to
withdraw his resignation, which he did.
and he remains with the company. It
is understood that the company held
out some inducements for him to recon
slider his action.
I'll Ward has many friends in Fort
Scott who will be pleased to learn that
he has not severed his Connection with
the road. He IS a thorough railroad
nan and was ct one time chief clerk
to the general manager. He was also
division superintendent OF the Wichita
(. Western.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02

This method is one of the principal
punishments used in the federal prison.
and is only used in extreme cases and
then only after the prisoner has been
warned or has committed some fragrant
act against the rules and discipline OF
the prison. Other punishments are to
deprive the prisoner Of the writing priv
iege. his tobacco. some of his good
time allowance or some one Of the other
favors accorded an inmate of one OF
Uncle Sans penal institutions.
Regarding the report that the plan
OF having some OF the prisoners trans
ferred to the Kansas state peuitentiary
to be placed in the coal mines. Warden
McClaughry yesterday said to a re-
porter:
7 wish you would contradict the re-
port that We contemplate transferring
some of these men 70 the Kansas peni-
tertiary coal mines at Lansing. We
have no occasion for such transfer
We are fully able and can take care Of
such men as we have here without ask
ing any state to assist us
Edward z. Proctor. a guard at the
federal prison. rendered his resignation
yesterday TO Warden McClaughry. TO
take effect at the closs of business
hours today.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
GIRLS FROM KANSAS
Mcfarland Twins, Formerly of LeaV-
enworth, VIII Sing fer King.

Leavenworth, Kan, Jan. 1.-Two girls
who formerly lived in Leavenworth, viii
sing at the coronation ceremonies Of
Edward VII next summer. This at the
especial direct request OF the king him
self In this connection dispatch from
Denver says:
Miss Mary Mcfarland and Miss Marie
Mcfarland. twin sisters, OF this city,
who are well known as much for their
beauty as for their talents as songsters,
have been chosen TO sing at the coro-
nation ceremonies of Edward VII to be
held next summer. The Misses McFar-
land have been great travellers and it
was on one of their journeys through
Europe that they met the present king
o. England, at that time the Prince Of
Wales. 1t is stated that the royal COM
mand to sing proceeds directly from
the king and is not the outcome OF the
plans of the committee which has this
matter in hand This is felt to be an
additional honor and the residents of
this city who have watched the careers
OF the twin sisters with a kindly inter
est are greatly pleased over the mat
ter"
These girls were born at Atchison
They are the daughters Of Austin Nc
Fariand, who for the past fifteen years
or more has lived in Denver and is a
ticket agent for the Denver and Rio
Grande. They are cousins OF Mrs. H
B. Kelly of Topeka. The Kelly family
has photographs of the twins when they
were little girls.
Years ago their father lived in Leav-
enworth and was in a railway ticket
Office here. Later. about 1870. he was
one of the founders Of the town of How
ard City. and opened the first store
there, taking a claim in the vicinity
He was generous in granting credit and
soon found that he had exchanged all
Of his merchandise for bad accounts
He decided his land to ex-State Senator
Fl. 3. Kelly and left Howard. after
a residence OF five or six years, moving
to st. Joseph. where he followed his
former calling. He afterwards went to
Denver. He has paid special attention
to the musical education of his two
daughters, who are now in Europe.
When z. ". Howe of the Atchison
Globe was IN Paris in May Of last year
he entertained the Misses Mcfarland at
a dinner
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
scHEMlNe coNVIcTs PUNISHED
WouId-Be Jail-8reakers az Leaven-
worth Are Being SWeated.

Leavenworth. Kan, Jan. SOLITARY
confinement; to stand at the door Of
their cells during working hours. with
one hours intermission al noon FOR a
light meal. TO continue until such time
as they viii tel how and where they
obtained q ale last Saturday is the pom
ishnent melted out 10 Mullins and Baze
two convicts at the United States pen.
itenuary-
Before being sent to their cells they
we're thoroughly Searched, as was their
cells. to find any other contrabaEd artI-
cles. but the file was the only article
discovered. Before being placed in their
cells. TO stand with their faces at the
bars Warden McClaughry told them
they should remain there and urdergl
thar punishment urtiI they scat fo-
him and tod the entire truth- This
VIII be carried ont. even though Il ta1es
a month. or more. 10 sGlLue The stab
born prisoners
SO far they have shown ~ signs ~
weakening. ror has single request
gone from them % the warden il 81
believed, however. THAI they VIII gfse
IN ard make a clean breast ~ Z soor,
rs but few uen can undergo Use severe
physical strain 81 standing 81 cne poss-
tion for an entire day. TT aIoae se-ies
% suCh days Is7aI'g two ~ th-as
days u sech punishment hss brought
the u1ost stubborn iow. bat IS ihsss
men ere desperate eases tfeT wiz
probably hold rut as ione aa possible
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
BOURBON coUNTYs SHARE
Has Twenty Citizens Who Hold APP
pointed State Positions.

Fort Scott. kan. Jan. Governor
Stanley has prepared q statement show
ing the patronage Of the state admins
tration. In the way of salaries the pa
tronage aggregates SA.fS month.
There are liz people or the state pay
ron rs regular employees. OF this num-
her Shawnee county leads. with sS: Nj
ami and Nyandotte tie for second place.
With $ c3ch. Wyandotte gets the best
Of IT, however. for it receives Sis a
month IN salaries. as against NI67 for
Miami. Thirteen counties-Cheyenne
Grant. Greeley. Hamilton Haskell. XII
o7ya. Merton. Ness. Rocks. Rush. stan
ten. Stevens Seward-hare no patronage
st all
In Governor Ssenley's list Bourbon
county is oredtei with twenty appoin-
tees whose salaries aggregate ssl7 Per
month
Ia GRIPPE coughs often continue for
months and sometimes lead 70 fatsl re-
suits after the patient is supposed u issre
passed the danger point FCLEY.s
HONEY AND TAR affords positive pro-
lection and security from thsse COUGHS
6. Gehung. 80 r Douglas. Geo. ~.
Wenien. IS \ Main. Wichita DRUG
Co. lie + Douglas
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
.. a. 81 TO REA
Beers The II The Kind You Have Always BOugta
signature as &xHZZlez@ax
New Book on the Grand CANNON.

The Santa Fe has a. new and
magnificent book on the Grand Can
yon of Arizona. The publication comes at
a fitting time, as travel to the canyon
has greatly increased since the opering
of the new railroad to the Rim, ard a
commodious Harvey hotel is in process
Of erection at the head of the Bright
Angel trail. The look commentaries
these events-events of vast Importance in
that land of silence-and is worthy
of its theme as the ablest pens in Amer
lea have made it so. 1t is handsomely
illustrated and contains about 12s
pages OF matter. Among the authors rep
resented-nost Of whom wrote cont-ibu-
tons especially for this work-may be
mentioned: Hamlin Garland, the distin-
guished author Of The Eagles Heart"
and other popular books; Charles F. I.um-
mis-, editor of "Out West and the chosen
prophet OF Adobeland: David Starr Jordan,
president of Stanford University: John
I. Stoddard, the lecturer; Charles Dud-
ley Warner. Up to the time Of his death
the dean OF American authors; Ma iar J.
". Powell. the daring explorer who led
the first expedition down the Colorado.
passing through the entire length of the
Grand Canyon; Harriet Monroe. the poet
and journalist; Fritz Mac" of Colorado
Springs; Prof. r d. Salisbury. of the
University of Chicago; Prof. Beecher. of
Yale and Charles s. Gleed the eminent
Kansas lawyer. These and many others
have made the book the finest Of its kind.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
N G(|NIENPIOF COURT
Governor Stanley Mil be Held
by Deposed Judges.
SAYS JUDGE THOMPSON
If He Attempts to Enforce
Biennial Election Law.

Topeka, Kan, Jan. 1.-Should Governor
StanIey attempt to assist in enforcing
the biennial election law by advising
sherins and county clerks to disregard
the orders of the old judges, whose Of
fees are rendered vacant under the law.
there is possibility that he may be
called upon TO answer TO the charge Of
contempt of court before each of the old
judges.
Judge William Thompson Of Burlin-
game, one Of the judges whose tenure OF
Office is effected by the biennial election
law, was in the city yesterday consult
ing with his attorneys. He has arranged
to open court IN Potawatomie county on
January 10 and intends to refuse TO va
cate his office. Similar action also wiz
probably be taken by Judge w. 7. Nc
Bride of Wellington, Judge a. 7. c.
Geiger of Oberlin, Judge j. Z. Andrews
of Lacrosse, and Judge W. S. Glass OF
Marysville. Judge John T. Burris OF
OIathe, it is thought, win not oppose the
law. Speaking about the matter last
night, Judge Thompson said:
THE old judges Will refuse to vacate
their Offices and viii take all steps nee
essary to maintain the dignity of the
court. Anyone who attempts to thwart
an order of the old judges is guilty OF
contempt, even be he the governor of the
state. The old judges are the de facto
judges until they are ousted by the SUI
preme court and their actions are legal.
No one can deny that
I'VE have the utmost confidence that
the law will be declared unconstitutional.
Personally have spent some little time
looking UP the question of the right OF
a legislature to create a vacancy and
provide for the appointment of the sue
cessor 20 the deposed officer. where the
office concerned is an elective one. In
forty decisions. bearing on the subject,
which I found in the reports of twenty
five states. there was but one decision
unfolding the biennial election law, and
this was reversed by the same court
some years afterwards"
YOU should know that FOLEY SHONEY
AND TAR is absolutely the best for all
diseases Of the throat and lungs. Dealers
are authorized to guarantee it to give sat
isfaction. C. Gehring, 400 E. Douglas;
Geo. Van Werden. 500 n. Main; Wichita
Drug Co. 10 f. Douglas.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-01-02
A Prominent Chicago Woman Speaks.

Prof Roxa Tyler, of Chicago. vice-p-esi-
dent Illinois Woman's Alliance. in speak-
ing OF ChamberlaiR's Cough Remedy,
says: Il suffered with severe cold this
winter which threatened to run into pneu-
monia. I tried different remedies. but
seemed to grow worse and the medicine
upset my stomach. \ friend advised me
to try Chamberlaia's Cough Remedy and
1 found it was pleasant 10 take ard re-
lieved me at once. 1 am now entirely re-
covered, saved a doctors bill. time and
suffering. and I viii never be without this
splendid medicine again" For sale by all
druggists.