The Washington times., 1902-03-16

the lesson were missing. Another party
was sent out to reconnoitre for the frs
expedition, but returned in few minute:
with no word OF fheir companions.
Meanwhile eseries Of most hideou:
| howls and shrseks were resoundint
throughout the school. No one could To-
| cate the. direction from which they came
AT intervals sounds were augmented witt
frightful rumblings and pounding noises
Superstitious pupils were inclined to be-
iieVe, that the institution had been Wis
! tied by the spirits of departed students
AT length the roises and unearthly yell'
became uncomfortable. and a number o.
scouting parties were started cut to looi
i for the originators of the uncanny sounds
To the Rescue.
One Of the parties discovered that the
racket emanated from the elevator shaft
and proceeded TO investigate the cause
When they succeeded in opening the door
to their utter surprise and amusement
ont filed several boy students. The pris-
oners had begun to believe that no one
was coming to their rescue. They have
gone on the warpath for their captors.
Dark Days Ahead.
According to all reports, there are dark
days again in store for the pupils ant
faculty of the Western. The "Bizooters
are recognizing, and there is to be bat
tie royal between that organization and
the Famous and Original Fhruight
Gatherers." The latter society is also
gaining in strength and numbers and is
making active preparations for the con-
fict.
At one time the two societies were the
dominating factors of the school, and the
rivalry that existed between their mem
bcrs was terrible to behold. But under
the skillful leadership. OF 1.-The Terrible
Trinity" consisting of Messrs. E. Parson
Hayes. Leroy Birch, and Warren De-
Sappworth Offutt, the -'Phruight Gather
ers" finally gained the lead. and the ''Bi-
zooters" sank into the obscurity of ig-
nominious defeat. OF late, however,
there has been a strong movement among
the pupils to restore the prestige q the
latter society, and under the generalship
of two of the most learned and prominent
students in the Western the work has
begun. All persons connected with the
rising power loudly proclaim that their
star is in the ascendant. and that they
will sweep the "Phruight Gatherers" from
the face of the earth. Already the band
has begun to play and the warriors have
taken the warpath.
A Constitution Adopted.
One day last week the scribes and chief
rulers of the tribe met in council and
adopted constitution. Viewed from all
standpoints it is an Incompatible work
of art. A number of the most prominent
boys in the school have signed it, and
IL they actually do as they have pledged.
the Western is to be deluged with fights
and all sorts Of riots.
"Uncle SAM Again Prominent.
. Bob" Hagner, known as Uncle Sam, "
Is again prominent in the public eye OF
the school. The antics of this august in
dividual of enormous height and slender
ness are watched with unusual interest by
every pupil in the school. And of late
they have found him guilty of grave mis-
demeanors. He has been subjected to a
trial by twelve of his companions and
found guilty in the first degree of the
heinous crime OF writing love letters. The
lanky youth has always protested that il
was wicked togo with girls" but re-
Gently he has been fcaptivated by the
been paying them marked attention. To
emphasize his tendencies along this line,
the fortunate young ladies who have en-
amored him with their graces are un-
usually small of stature, barely reaching
a point midway between his cartridge belt
and his shoulder.
Twelve of the young mans friends, who
are deeply concerned in his welfare. held
trial to decide whether chastisement
was warranted.
81 Dream of You"
The prosecution submitted letter
written to a certain young lady by Uncle
SAM" which displayed a most ardent
school boy love. The introduction to the
letter was as follows:
My dear, you are my last thoughts at
night and the first in the morning. l
dream constantly of you, my love-
The prisoner was found guilty in the
first degree, but as he Is twice the size
Of his captors punishment was suspended.
Lunch Room Unsuccessful.
1t is reported by numerous persons OF
good authority that the lunch room at the
Western is proving a financial failure.
According to statements by the pupils and
others. Miss Wescott, the principal, has
informed some of the girls that If the
pupils do not patronize the lunch room
to a greater extent, instead OF purchasing
their lunches over on the corner, it will
be impossible to continue it next year,
as it is proving failure financially.
II these rumors are to be believed there
is certainly cause for great regret, as it
means not only the loss to the school of
it's lunch room, but demonstrates clearly
that this admirable feSture of the public
schools is impracticable in this city. The