The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-01-11
s1NKERs HEARS OF MARCON1.

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ocean widout the use of a telescope ?"
Sure" replied the Sinker Man.
"My wife we're telling me about it.
You yust telephone through der ocean
mitout any wires"
WELL" continued Reilly "whin
that man Marconi gifts it perfect I'm
going to ask King Edward if he will
set Ireland free"
II will talk to my grandfather on
Germany" said Sinkers. my wife
told me it costs on der North German
telephone cable $40 for yust one yard.
But how can some one tell somebody
something on only one yard? would
want to talk out whole lot, so could
explanation what l wanted to say
to the man which wanted tell What
we're going to ask on der question
which I Wished to telephone"
"By what system is that" asked
Reilly.
Wireless stenography," replied
the Sinker Man.
"You name wireless topography"
corrected Reilly. eye see we are
telephoning through the ocean whin
nobody's looking and the man what
we're telephoning to gifts the answer
in commas and semi-colons before we
sind the question
'Den how will he know what we
are talking about When We don't say
something?" asked the Sinker Man.
"I never studied dot semi-colon Ian
guage."
"Why we don't have to speak
semi-colon," explained Reilly. eve
tell it in English to the fellow what's
phonographing it across the ocean to
the man what speaks semi colon, and
he jist writes it down in compressed
air. Then they put it in a printing
press and out springs the message in
English"
"Vell, dot would be all right if der
machine what's speeches it out could
talk German too," said Sinkers.
why" said Reilly, eff they ever
got bunch of German jawbreakers
in that machine the wire I'D git chok-
ed and there'd be an earthquake in
Hesse Darmstadt.'
"Now you are commencing again,
remarked Sinkers. "Vhy don't you
say am a wireless cistern, too?"
"No," said Reilly, you're wire
less jumping jack. Sure, you know
nawthin' about languages. If was
to tell ye somethin' in Frinch ye'd
think 1 was talkin' shorthand"
''Vhat are We disgusting?" asked
Sinkers.
Were discussing wireless what
d'-ye-call-it." said Reilly.
"Oh, yes, wireless stenography,"
continued the Sinker Man. "Vhen
1 had a wireless airgun in my back
yard to talk semi-co1on over der 0c5V
1 would invitation all der frankfrS
men from Avenue A, und explain
it. Den / could ask dem ques
which nobody could answer und u~
would be jealous. Vhat?"
Suppose" said Reilly, Eye were
talking to one of the waiter girls in
the restaurant down the street, and
yer wife Lena was out on the roof wild
a wireless listener"
''I would talk semi-colon," replied
Sinkers, "und she could not under
stand What 1 we're saying to der girl
which we're speeding to me under der
sidewalk. Und if Lena talked to-
gether nit herself at der same time
could understood What she we're say
ing, but she couldn't hear me lis
tenin'."
"That might be all right" said
Reilly, "but if Lena was talkin' to
the Italian barber on the next block
the wireless wires wud git crossed and
you'd d be divorced for life."
"Say, Reilly p
WHAT"
'Mebbe When 1 would be tellin'
you somet'in' der words would fall
from der wireless wire und git lost,
und you wife might find dem. What ?"
"That's the only thing I'm afeered
Of" said Reilly. eff I'm sending
a message to Ireland and it gets lost
in German cloudburst, there might
be a rainstorm of shamrocks in West
phalia or a rainstorm of Westphalian
hams in Ireland. God forbid, Sink
ers, that amy thing loike that 'ud
happen"
'1 guess pooty soon We have also
wireless automobiles" remarked
Sinkers.
eyes" added Reilly, "and wire
less trolley cars, wireless typewriters
and wireless beef and beans. T"
"Den We would have to year wire
less shirts und collars" remarked
Sinkers, ''und mebbe We would have
wireless work instead of dot vich We
got now."
"Well," continued Reilly, you'd
be baking wireless cakes and I'd be
eating them wild wireless teeth, and
and your wife Lena wud have wire
less brains and"
''Vait minute, interrupted Sink
ers. Don't consideration my wife
in il"
"No?" said Reilly. "Well, let
the wires remain in her head, but
we'll have everything else wireless.
II hope mebbe," F." remarked Sink
ers, "dot We get not wireless drinks,
too"
eff we had wireless whisky" said
Reilly, wed be able to phonograph
a ball from Red Jerry's to Harlem
night or day."
dot would be fine" added Sink
ers.
"Yes," said Reilly, land whiniver
you'd order a wireless drink I'd stop
the message at Fourteenth street and
cop it off,"
''I tink mebbe We better drink not
by wireless stenography," concluded
the Sinker Man. "Vhy not We take
If STRAIGHT. -