The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-03-21
None apostrophized her more elo4uently
than did Representative Selby of Hardin,

than did Representative Selby of Hardin,
III He said, feryently:
am a friend to the COW. l am q
friend to the woman who milks the COW.
l am friend to the man who stands by
and watches his wife while she milks
the cow, for is she not his helpmeet?
love to see the woman churn the foam
ing cream until the butter cometh.
love the nice, fresh buttermilk. l love
to see the busy housewife wallop the but
love to see the butter come, and then
love to make the butter fly.
Memory goes back to the happy times
when the cows came home, and to the
less happy times when I had to make
mem come nome. Any man who has
, Deen raised with COW will never lose
MS friendship for her nor 80 back upon
her when adversely strikes her business"
What are marsupials?' asked the
teacher, and johnny was ready with his
answer.
animals that have pouches in their
stomachs. y he said, glibly.
And for what are these pouches
nscd?' asked the teacher, ignoring the
sure that you know that, too"
'Ye~'m," said Johnny, with encourag
ing promptness '"The pouches are for
them to crawl into and conceal them
selves when pursued. ''-Youth's Compan-
ion.
Senator Foster of Washington and Mr..
Loud of California live under the same
hotel roof. 4 few weeks ago when one
Of his constituents had forwarded him Il
fine lamb, which was served OH the Cali
fornianS table, he sent a choice cut over
to the senator.
Give him my compliments" quoth
I tn no fnn tho
senator that this lamb never tasted any
thing but milk
The days of the session flew by and
not long ago Il waiter appeared at MIR.
I-oud's elbow one evening, bearing "a cut
of magnificent salmon. 1t was sent by
but l want to know whether this
salmon came from Washington or Ore
yon,' asserted Mir. Loud with the bear
ing Of Il cOnnOiSseur.
Soon the waiter returned with the re-
ply: THE senator says it is Il Puget
sound salmon. and it has never tasted
ANYTHING but cream.'
This satisfied the Legislative epicure
from MISUNDERSTANDING Post.
Civil Service Commissioner Alexander
II. Mason tells this story illustrative OF
the deep wisdom and unconscious humo:
of some of the applicants for positions III
the munlclp1l service.
"a man who wished to become Il Pc
lceman was asked, What are your
! qualifications for this position:
81 have as much right to the place as
! no other man. was the reply.
'"'Do you use Intoxicating liHuorS!'
| elected the reply, Not to success.
Ambrose Berce, while out in San Fran
| "i>co recently, visited the new house Of
| 81. nf t,.1< nV-
traction. The hostess e::!tlcntly took
great pride in the house, the furnishings
of which were new and beautiful and
gave every evidence of taste and refine
lnent. Mr.. Bielce, who has an eye for
the beautiful, gave unstinted praise to
everything he saw.
''But.'' he said, II am sorry to see
that Your house, beautiful as it is. lacks
one ornament which no Irish house
should he without
''What is that!'' she asked, ,lnsusp-
ciously-
"A pig" replied Mr. Bierce, with sat
iSted chuckIe.
The hostess eyes sparkled
; 1T did, she said, Indignantly. but
YOU have supplied the want.'-New York
Times.
\ little Cambridge girl was discovered
whispering in school, and the teacher
asked:
What were you saying to the girl next
t" You when | caught you whispering:"
| The little culprit hung her head for Il,
moment. and then replied:
Il was only telling her how nice you
locked in your new dress
ell. that-yes-1 knOw-but we
must-thc class in spelling will please
stand up. -Christian Register.
| Coy. Tod. the war governor OF Ohio.
was generally considered to be conscious
to the full OF his official importance. IL
was under discussion in the lobby Of :,
| Columbus hotel, when a stranger to the
| city remarked:
"'Tod'-all the Tods ever knew
There was silence. Then an old &C.
quaintance Of the chief executive ex-
planned:
"Well. to tell the truth. that used to
he the governors way of writing it; but
one one d lay, as it happened p man told him
d. That settled it. Thenceforward the
governors final ID was lost in the dis
card New York Times.
| Carrie says when she is mar
ricd she is going to have the ceremony
performed with a ring.
Edith-I'ertha seems to have got near
| ly everything arranged for that wedding
of hers. She has settled upon the kind
Of cards she will issue, and upon the
cake and its ornamentation. and now
she has fixed upon the ring. Really.
there seems to be nothing wanting but
the INSTRUMENTATION Transcript.
! Tho late Canon Carter Of Clever, Eng
land, was the terror of compOsitorS. His
was, perhaps, after Dean Stanley's, the
! very worst handwriting of the last CEN
fury. About 1880 the then bishop OF
I.itchtield, DR.. Maclagan, surprised one
of his secretaries by saying: II have
hardly ever received an anonymous let
ter, but l got one this morning; it is very
badly written and l can hardly make it
out, hut from the signature it is sure to
he abusive. The man has signed himself
Il Tartar See if you can make it out. :"
The secretary, who knew the handwrit-
ing. rather startled his lordship by re-
joining: Its nothing alarming It's
only il note from Canon Carter of Clcw-
err
| "Remember." said the Boston boys
uncle. that children should be seen and
not heaN.''
MY dear sir" was the courteous re-