The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1902-08-13
CHOOSING A WIFE.

CHOOSING A WIFE.
er
An Important Subject Interestingly
Discussed.
We wrote week or two ago on the
subject Of "Home-making," and in
do,ag SO we're perhaps little prema-
ture If it was to be followed up by the
theme we have chosen today; since
certainly the selection Of wife is
step in advance Of making home for
her. After all, we are not quite sure
it the process Of falling in love and be-
coming engaged can always be describ.
ed as Choosing Wife" since there
are so many cases where no deliberate
choice is made. A man-particula7ly
if he marries when quite young-sel-
dom goes through 80 Glow process as
making choice. He just falls heels
over head in love with some pretty
girl and asks her to marry him, with
scarce any thought Of the future or
any consideration whether they are
really suited to each otner. If she is
equally reckless she says eyes," with
just as little thought Of the serious.
ness Of the step she is taking, and it
is only after they are married that they
begin to find out whether they have
been fortunate in their selection Of
each other, or if they are going to
be perfectly miserable becauee they
are unsuited to live together.
By the time man has voted two or
three times he generally begins to
have pretty clear idea Of the sort OF
woman he wants for his wife. No
doubt that ideal will closely resemble
some lady of his acquaintance, al
though he may not actually be in love
with the original of the picture he has
in his mind. AS the years go on it is
more and more difficult to find anyone
that quite comes up to his notions;
sometimes when he thinks he has sue.
ceeded in doing so little thing will
convince him that he is mistaken, and
that the person he was just on the
point Of addressing is not what he
fancied her to be. He is fortunate
man when he discovers this mistake
in time; for it is much easier to get
over the disappointment before mar
riage than afterwards. The trouble
is that when man is really in love he
cannot see clearly, and he imagines
that the girl has all the perfections Of
mind and heart for which he is seek
ing. During courtship and the period
OF engagement most couples wear
masks, and it is with the masks they
are mutually in love. Sometimes
little misunderstanding OF lovers
quarrel gives each Of them q glimpse
of the real character which the mask
hides, and broken engagement is the
result. Both rejoice that their un-
suitability for each other vas discover
ed before it was too late; but that does
not prevent their making as much Of o
failure in their next venture. And,
after all, those who set out in search
Of perfection are likely to go unmar-
ried all their days. 1t is best they
should recognize this fact and, remem-
bering their own shortcomings, be u
to make allowance for small
faults, and to exercise the forbearance
which is no doubt needed or both
sides.
The longer man defers marriage
the harder he is to please, AND the odd
part of it is he is very likely to make
q poor match after all. II comes
about in this way. He goes on pick
ing and choosing and hesitating
whether to propose to this woman or
to that, until some fine day he sees
those he prefers carried off by other
men, and awakens to the fact that he
is not 30 young or attractive as he
once was, and that young women pre-
fer the society of younger men to his.
When this mortifying realization
comes to him he begins to fear that he
is doomed to single blessedness sll
his days, thought that is by no
means pleasant to him. Consequent
ly he rushes of and proposes to the
first young girl who Aatters him by
treating him nicely, or he marries for
money or some other equally practi-
cal reason. 1t may be asked how is o
man to tind out vAether girl vii.
make suitable wife fobhim, when
are not always to be trust
ed. There is no way except to marry