The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-11-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


HUMOR OF THE DAY.
He sent his boy to college
And now he cries, Alack,
He spent ten thousand dollars
And got quarter back.
If you start to tell any one of your
troubles. and he turns the subject and
doesn't give you a chance, hunt him up
afterward and thank him for it.-Atchison
Globe
Marmaduke-Did your physician give
you diagnosis of your disease?
Mallory-Yes; he said I had bad case
of high living and no thinking.-Detroit
Free Press.
William" she whispered, shaking him
vigorously. get up. There's a burglar
downstairs
That's new business and not in order
now replied the eminent parliamentary
ian. sleepily. while there's unfinished
business before the house I've got to
dispose of this nap of mine first. "-Phila-
delphia Press
The Boston Friend-But last year you
were in favor of electing senators by the
direct vote of the people.
The Senator (confidingly)-Yes, but at
again.-Brooklyn Life.
Old Party-"Stick to your mother. my
young friend" His Young Friend-''I will
sir 1t costs too much to board any place
else. "-Town and Country.
The Visitor-"How is your baby ~
Trained Nurse-'F'irst ratel He is gett ing
so now l can occasionally leave him
with his mother '-Harpers Bazaar.
Il wish you had broken the news more
gently" sighed the editor. as the office
form down a fight of stairs.-Baltimore
American.
So Like a Bargain.-'I thought she re-
so fat?" We'll, she did; but since then
he's been reduced from 200 to 49,
Brooklyn Life.
ITS remarkable in these days of get
ting your moneys worth" says the
cynical codger, but I've noticed that
preachers who deliver the shortest ser
mons generally get the largest salaries. -
Baltimore Herald
1.-The president objects to so many secret
service men tagging around right at his
heels when he is on a hunting trip 81
don't blame him. Every one of them may
claim to have seen the bear rst."-Cin-
cinnati CONGRATULATIONS.
Mr. Heighseed lin Italian restaurant)-
Say, 81. this here spaghetty's all right,
amt it?' Mr.. Meddergrass-"Yo bet
When I git home I'm a-goin' tew rite tew
our congressman an have him send me a
package O. the seed, SOS 1 kin raise it fer
myself. Judge.
Bixby-'Had great time up in the
woods Been deer-shooting. you know "
T1by-"Ah. Good deal like shooting the
rapids on the st. Lawrence, isn't it?'
Bixby-"what in time are you talking
about?" Tilby-"It doesn't hurt the rap
ids to be shot, you know. Boston
Transcript
'-Burble. I never saw you looking so
CHASTITY. Why don't you ask some doctor
what ails your Because I know what ails
me. It's quick consumption" Quick con-
SUMPTION Yes having to bolt my
breakfast in two gulps and hurry to catch
the train for down town. Chicago Trib-
une.
Eyes, I had to discharge Bridget, be-
cause she was too economical
But I don't see
well. I happened to discover she had
saved double her wages in two months" =
Brooklyn Life.
Dere Johnny: I suppose will feal bad
to no / am not going to mary u amy
! more, but 1 don't cair. u are to stingey.
And Freely givs me chOcklets so we are
Engaged sinst yestady- Yures not amy
more. Maggie.-Chicago Tribune
she-But can't keep this cook She
drinks.
quiet jays! Just think what different