The Washington times., 1902-03-30

| leave at home when he goes on subse-
quent hunting expeditions certain articles
| of dress, namely, one dwarfed stovepipe
| hat and one white silk umbrella; and also,
Resolved. that he shall paste altern-
ate stripes of blue and white over his
funkey's red coat as this is strictly
American community. Unwiliingness
upon His Loriships" part to comply with
these commands will place rs under the
| painful necessity of making pepper box
of the hat and a total wreck of the afore-
| said umbrella
"Hc listened to us in silence and bowed
coldly, remarking in a most aggrayat-
/ ing tone:
'Aw-thank you. 1 wiII-aw-consider
| your propositions
"Our report was received by the boys
! with little enthusiasm. Recount the
| story as we might, we could not COM
| pletely hide the fact that His Lordship
had fairly routed US.
We'll, cowboys life isn't all fun and
| horse play continued the Colonel, chang
ing his position slightly and pulling away
steadily at his cigar. Some weeks after
this affair. just before the annual drive
Terry, Bill McGregor, and / were out on
the range alone with big herd of cattleI
l shan't forget the occasion, for IL came
pretty near being the last time l ever
herded cattle.
1.-The beeves were quite wild, and it took
mighty little to scare them. About tine
middle of the forenoon something startled
'em, and they started off on the prettiest
kind OF a stampede. l was some distance
beyond them, and the only card / had 10
play was to run my pony right down their
front and try TO head them off.
''As l put spurs 10 my horse I saw that
there were two other horsemen in their
track - Chumley dressed as usual, and
will ta yUb ell IL
to defend his head from the rays of the
sun, which was shining directly down
upon the plain, and his satellite the red
coated groom.
AT that instant my pony played me a
trick which he had never done before.
He stumbled and threw me directly in the
path of the charging animals.
Run. you fooll' 1 yelled forgetting
my own danger, as saw him stand there
looking after his mount Run, or you'll
be trampled to death,'
He coolly picked up his umbrella and
did run-but toward me. not from the
beeves- The herd was almost upon me
when he arrived, and we pumped down
on one knee in the alkali dust and COM
menced opening and shutting that UNI
brella with a rapidity that was wonder
full.
IAN instant before I would have heen
willing to swear that nothing under
heaven would have broken that line of
charging cattle; but they did break,
with loud bellows of terror and fed to
right and left, leaving US there un-
touched, the fiuttering umbrella proving
a safeguard for US both.
They passed us like the wind, and
then Chumley rose to his feet, brushing
trousers.
You see that my umbrella is-aw-
good for something. sir he remarked,
ooolly, and walked off to where his fright
ened groom sat on his own horse, holding
his masters steed, which he had captured
after a mad race in the opposite to that
taken by the cattle.
bill and Terry came back and picked
me up, and | was laid up at the fuuch
for fortnight with my ankle.
"Everyhody's opinion of His Lordship'
Immediately rose, especially my own: but
we couldn't get near enough to the fellow
to thank him. He was as cold and stiff as
ever.
But l tell you what it is" continued
the colonel, tossing the remains CT his
cigar into the CRATE. Il ceased from that
time forth TO trouble myself about the ec-
centricities of people l met In fact,
don't consider it any OF my business how
many peculiarities man may have, for
have discovered that their possession
doesn't receSsarily make 4 man either a
fool or milksop."