The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1902-04-27
WAS THROWN BY ESSAY
How the Redoubtable King Was Fool
AM ed by the "0rnery Sneak
HIS ACCOUNT OF THE DAMNED OUTRAGE
The Astute King Thought He Had Pumped the
Inspector as to Subject of the Essay,
But Found to His Chagrin
That He Had Not.

That he Had Not.
Away up in the western part of this
State a Civil Service examination was re-
Gently held for the position of mail car
rier for a Rural Free Delivery route. AS
such examinations are always advertised
for some time ahead, the population in
and around the village of B. was con-
siderably stirred up over the event A
circus or an election would have scarcely
evoked more comment, and for hours at
a time the sturdy mountaineers would
discuss and rediscuss the approaching and
all absorbing examination. But the WON
der of the whole matter was the numer-
Gus applicants who signified their desire
and Willingness to enter the contest.
Without regard to intelligence, education,
race, color, or previous condition of SER
vitude they, one and all, girded up their
loins and marched forth to battle for
Civil Service honors. The followers of
Peter the Hermit were not more jealous
in their desire to get at the Threats of
the Infidel Moslems than were this band
of mountaineerS to get a whack at that
examination. They, of course, had no
idea what the nature of il would be. But
a majority of them having at one time
or another hoodwinked and ut-witted
the agents of Uncle Sam from another
department, they felt confident of their
ability to do likewise on this occasion.
At last the eventful day, or rather
the day before the eventful day arrived,
and with it came the Postoflice Inspec-
tor who was to conduct the examina-
ton. He was a smart, hustling, busting
sort of little fellow, and gave every
indication of being able to answer ques
tions as well as PROFOUND them At any
rate his ability in this direction was
soon put to the test.
Among the numerous aspirants for
Civil Service honors was one King who
was supposed to be the best posted man
or general topics in that section of the
| country. He was at once the leading
wag and wit Of the village. Though not
a pedagogue he stood much in the same
position as Goldsmith's famous school
master of whom it is written that
e. still they gazed and still the wonder
grew,
That one small head could carry all he
knew
When King saw the inspector his heart
gave a great leap for joy. He was, in the
estimation Of the modest King, a soft
snap. King would squeeze him as dry
as a lcmon,-would pump him until he
| should make known every question to
be asked at the approaching examination.
So, Immediately after supper. with this
Interior design in view the redoubtable
lo, ir-
spcctor. He found him at his room and
as may be expected under the circum-
stances was made heartily welcome
In reply to several questions Mr.. King
was politely informed that the exami-
nation would be practically confined to
reading. writing and arithmetic. In ad-
dition however, each applicant would be
required to write an essay on subject
| to be selected by the examiner. Right
here was Kings opportunity Now was
| the propitious moment for him to make
his grand stand play! He felt certain
| that he could distance the whole com
| munity on the three RS" and if he
could but show up we'll on the essay the
prize would assuredly be his. Carefully
| concealing his agitation, therefore, he
modestly enquired if the inspector could
give him an idea as TO the probable sub
| iect of the sketch. "Oh, yes" replied
the inspector, something on the order
| of the Southern Railway, the Blue Ridge
Mountains or the life of some eminent
man. saw for instance, Abraham Lincoln -
King was delighted. If there was one
| point in his character upon which he
| prided himself more than another it was
his ability to read the minds and divine
/ - al n
| the voice in the eyes and in the manner
| of the inspector gave him dead away.
! 1.-THE subject of that essay" chuckled
King to himself. sis as certain to be
| Abraham Lincoln as grass is to grow in
F.! the spring. Prudently keeping his
| thought to himself, however, the wary
King thanked the inspector cordially and
| bade him a very good night
At twelve O'Clock that night King was
| writing for dear life by the light of a
| kerosene lamp; at one o'clock he was
still at it tooth and nail; it was the
same at two and three, and not until his
| clock struck the hour of four did he rest
from his labors and seek repose.
[ The examination was of course held
| behind closed doors, and not until it was
concluded could anyone on the outside
| learn anything of it's details. When the
| applicants came marching forth King
was among them, but mercy o man! in
stead of the triumphant leer which every
| one expected to see on his countenance,
/ his looks betokened dependency and dis
appointment. Upon being gently ques-
toned by an onlooker he broke forth
| into storm of angry invective: "Its a
! damned outrage! a damned ornery out
rage: an eternal! low down thieving
Yankee trcki he howled, getting hotter
| and madden all the time. At length a
friend led him away from the crowd I'M
| til he could cool off. When his compos-
ure was restored he returned and gave
| the following account of himself: you
see, boys, when I axed that blamed in
| spector about that air essay as he called
IL thar was that 3hout him which a a