Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-11-01
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Strappes-Flve pounds for a bonnet
Madam. 1t IS crime! Mrs. Swell,
lie crime viii be on my own head
ilasgow Evening Times.
When you have a disagreeable duty to
perform 1t is best TO do it at once and
;et It of your mind. Another good way
: 10 get somebody to do it for you.
Mrs, Meek -But how DO you know
hat he IS married man? Did he say
lie was2 Mr.. Meek--No; but he looked
E"pathetic when told him l was.
On the Shore: How sweet it would
oe 70 live alone with you in yonder
Clubhouse" he whispered, tenderly.
Yes, she murmured. abstractedly:
and 10 light Housekeeping. - Smart
set
Il asked the young woman In front
II NE 10 remove her big hat so that l
'ou!d see the stage" Did she do it7''
No, She said if she held her hat in
ler lap She couldn't see the stage her
self Tit its
Here IS a letter from Charles Mrs.
6each Eead it. Mr. Beach (readingl
My dearest, darlingcst mothar'---
great heavcuuS. the young scoundrel
reeds money, -rit-Bits.
Are you real indiana" asked the
nyasEig atuS youth Of one Of the paint
Il Indians who accompanied Buffalo
Bus Wild West Show. sure replied
he Indian; Il was born an raised In
indianapolis, Indiana"
Professional Advice: Patient WHAT
would you advise me TO do for dyspep-
,.a. doctor? DR. DeQuick Wen, If
tou want ID real bad. hire a cheap cook,
uA eat irregularly. Two dollars.
asc-'-Chicago News
a Swampton Incident: Mercy on
4s' cried the investor; do you have
earthquakes heref" BE easy" re.
3l.ed the land boomer; "wc run out o.
lu.n,ne yesterday. an that's only the
own marshal a-hayn a chill. "-Atlan-
"a Constitution.
"Aud what brought you TO thisyr
asked the good man, who was passing
araush the police station. DE hurry
aD wagon, replied the tough boy be-
AuJ The bars; did yer t'ink / came
II tally no, Wild somebody on top,
'ooun' a horu:"-C Chicago Record Scr
tjd.
jas. ia His Taste: How WIN you
AAye your eggs cooked?" asked The
waiter Make any difference In the
east o cm?" inquired the customer,
autlously No" Then cook 'em
with nice slice O. ham," said he,
greatly relieved Kansas City Indepen-
lent.
Name My steady blew me OF ter
supper az a regular RESTRAINT last night.
Nag Say, they tell me he's real REIN
II. Name Dal's wat! When he pour
81 his coffee out in Is saucer ter cool
, lie didn't blow 1t like some guys
would but jist famed Il wild Is Pan.
ANA. ~ Philadelphia Press.
A solting magazine tells this story OF
man who applied for The secretary.
snip OF Il club. You understand" said
he captain, that we want a secretary
who Is thoroughly accustomed TO man
lsing men" In that ease" answered
he applicant sadly, I'm afraid rs MOB
me you want but my wife lie was
bunNered.
Music Is q very desirable accom-
piishment." said Mehitabel's mother.
That's right answered her father.
IF a girl likes young man she can
play comic opera and make him feel
perfectly at home. ana If she doesn't
She can give him a few samples from "a
sonata and make him weary. Wash.
iuEtou star.
Mrs. Mimms Mary, 1t was one
0 clock this morning when you got In.
I heard you. Mary Well, ma'am, II L
was you I'd take something TO make
ma sleep better. took my shoes off
down Ia the kitchen and didn't make
No more noise than a cat would. I've
been kind OF worried about you for III
good while"
IA old soldier was Boosting of bis
.xperleuce during the Civil War, when
"a was asked: How many rebs did
you Kill during the war;" How many
lid 1 kill? How many did killr' re-
paated the old veteran; well | don't
snow exactly how many, but | Killed
~ many Of them MS they did of mo-"
Ohio state Journal
Waiter-Hear, all you, just stop put
tug up those other orders and attend
ID mine at once. The COok-But this
Jeefsteak IS for man who's just come
In IN a train that was stuck in the snow
.nree days, with 40 supplies on board.
nothing compared with
my case. Why, the party's Just returned
from a swell banquet.
Mrs. Gruby-Yes. I'm afraid that
Johnny is really sick. When / went
put, leaving him in the house alone,
told him not to 50 to the pantry and
NEEDLE with the jam. MIR Gruby-And
II course he went and filed himself
with It. Mrs. Gruby-NO, dear; that's
the alarming thing; he didn't go near
I. "a E., ~, TlDc4,Y,