Evening journal., 1902-12-04

eral months IN unls country.
Hey, therel" yelled the indignant
citizen, lodging quickly backward.
you dropped brick just now that
came within an ace of hitting me on
the head"
"Kape it," shouted the workman ON
the twelfth floor OF the unfinished sky
scraper. We've got plenty more av'
'eml"
It is fact not generally known that
Neltie Blanchan. the author of that
most charming of outdoor books,
Bird Neighbors," is none other than
the wife of Mr.. Doubleday, one of the
firm by whom the hook is published.
Il notice that Mr.. MolineLx wrote
several plays while in Jail"
Did he? Well, | hope they aie not
the so't Of plays l think they are.
What sort is that?"
The sort that ought 70 keep a man
in jail
One of the largest collections of
charms in Europe is owned by Queen
Alexandra. 1t consists mainly of tiny
elephants in malaohite. jade, porphyry
sapphire. and turquoise, and humming
birds and swallows. bees and beetles.
which are real works of art.
Yes" said De Auber, 1T would be
folly for me to marry. I live for my
art alone.
We'll" rejoined his friend, I'm
sure no one would ever suspect that
you lived by your art alone"
Honors accumulate upon the head OF
Professor Simon Newcomb, the oldest
and most eminent of living American
scientists. The degree of doctor of
philosophy has just been conferred
upon him by the University of Chris
tiana. He had before received similar
distinctions from ten or twelve insti-
tutions, including the degree of doctor
Of divinity from Yale, Harvard and
Columbia.
AT any rate he said,as he mailed a
check 10 a san Francisco creditor. 1T
cant be denied that ! an able tc make
a little money go a long way"
Miss Gotrox-The idea Of your pro
posing to me! Why, never gave YOU
any encouragement!
Mr. Poorman-You forget that YOU
once informed me that you had half
million in your own right.
Through his fathers Ignorance Of
the meaning of the word "fneorrigi-
ble,' a 15-year-old Wheeling boy was
sent to the State Reformatory. The
father was under the impression that
the lad was to be given a college edu-
cation free.
Biggs-I understand Mrs. Strong
mind married her husband to reform
him.
Boggs-Reform him? OF what?
Biggs-He used to be a regular b.
to his first wife.
A bowling alley keeper at Orange,
N. j., is using old tenpins sor fuel, as
he says the vanished hardwood burns
as long as coal.
Tess-I can never get a gown to fit
me properly.
Jess-Why don't you try some other
upholsterer?
N. P. Hulett, of Paulett, VI, con-
sistent admirer of King Edward, has
just shipped by express a box addressed
to his Majesty containing a potato
raised on his farm that weighed over
four pounds.
When a woman begins to wear a
switch she begins to suspect that her
best friends figure is not natural
The Bowdoin College water turtle is
dead after four years imprisonment.
during which time he ate nothing. This
is vouched for by Professor Lee, who
had charge Of the turtle.
Any woman would rather have her
husband be wrong in am argument with
her than to be President
Blue eyes are very sweet, and then
Black eyes are charming, too.
But no girls eyes are pretty when
They are both black and blue.
How appropriately the words are
arranged here" she remarked, as she
idly turned the pages of the diction-
larry
How do you mean?' inquired Mr.
lSlowe-Polk.
"Why, for instance, love comes just
la little before 'matrimony.
Eight per cent. of the population OF
This country is still illiterate. In Ger.
lmany only one per cent of illiterates
exists. and in Bavaria. Baden. Wurtem'
5 lburg and Scandinavia there are no tot
l lily unaducated people.
m,