Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1902-12-26
ADAMS GHOST.
nv MAX ADnLER.

chair. | sat straight up and said, with some
hrmness, although my voice trembled;
who are youg
Il am nobody in particular now, said the
ghost; "but / was Adam"
adam who?"
Had no family name There was but
one family of us. and they all knew me.
was the FIRST man, you know You must
have heard Of me
yes. indeed" said the reporter
"pm sorry I can't shake hands. said the
ghost, but You might as well try to shake
hands with q fog-bank as with me. It's not
sociable, / know but ! can't help it,"
oh never mind said the reporter; "I'n
glad to see you, all the same
Your name is johnson, isn't it?" askea
the specter
No; my name is Jackson" replied tn
reporter
"Pshawr said the ghost 81 was looking
for man named johnson; but my eyesght
is SO bad that ! couldn't read your door
plate distinctly The worst Of it is too, that
can't wear spectaces; nothing substantial
enough to hitch them to- wish some OF
you people would invent an eyeglass that
can be worn by nearsghted ghosts. You'd
confer a genuine benefaction on the felix.
in the other world"
What was your business with johnson!
Perhaps | cam"
"Well in the first place ] understand that
be is one of the committee appointed to get
up a statue Of me for the town of Elmira.
have been in to see that statue. and | want
to ask johnson where he got the idea that l
used to wear a straw hat and side-whiskers.
| want to know, also, what authority he has
for giving me Roman nose"
Hadn't you one OF that kind!"
'Why, man, the Romans hadn't intro
duced that variety of nose in my time! And
johnson has had me represented with a
huge serpent lying at my feet Now, what
was the use of dragging up painful reminis
cences of that kind Why not let the matter
drop? Hanged if | like it"
ITS an outraged
Between ourselves" said the specter,
locking his misty fingers over his knee. Il
don't think much of the statue business,
anyhow Do you know what they did? Too
stingy to make fresh piece Of sculpture out
of a block of marble, they bought up a sec
ond-hand statue of Benjamin Franklin at
auction, and hired a man to work it over into
mel Doesn't look particle like mel And,
anyhow, Franklin was no Kind of man to
make me out of. A common kind of fellow, a
sort of populist, opposed to the wealthy
classes wasn't heY'
eve consider him quite respectable"
"Another thing | wanted with johnson
was to see if l can't make arrangements with
some reliable spiritual medium. I've been
crowded out in the cold for about 4, 900 years,
with no chance to participate in anything
Now, I'm the man that started this world,
l gave it send off, and it really does seem
pretty hard that / can't even express my
views in a newspaper or defend myself from
calumny, just because | happen to be dead
now doesn't it,"
"Very hard But we didn't know you
took an interest in such things"
| Certainly. ] often feel as if I'd like to
express an opinion on the questions Of the
| day or something of that kind; and then
| of course, Eve wants to hear everything
/ about the fashions. | wish there was some
way for ghost to save little money Sc
that | could subscribe for a fashion journal
or two, just to quiet her. Do you know any
thing l could get work atg'
How would it do to make an engagement
at the theater to appear as the ghost o
Hamlet's father, or as the ghost of Banquo? /?
"It doesn't strike me very favorably. II
might be considered rather undignifed in
the father Of the race to be hanging around
among scene shutters and fiddlers Besides
they have too much light on the stage fol
me; l can't get into shape unless there is
absolute darkness. And then, you know
I'd be exposed to insult. When we hear
cock crow we are obliged to fit. Now, sup
pose, right in the midst of the performance
some miserable boy should crow. Even i
| knew it was a false alarm, / would be Sc
/ -aJ hof ont,1If,fN hut
likely I'd vanish as soon as | heard it, just
from force of habit Mo- the proposition
doesn't strike me- Seems unfair, though
doesn't it, that a man who once owned tn,
entire earth can't call dollar his ownH
'If small loan would be of any servie,
to you. / viii gladly" said the reporter
you're mighty kind; but here you see
we encounter another difficulty. Wher'm
going to put dollar when get it? ! have
MT pocket about me thatll hold cent
Young man, ghost has no chance at all
Keep out Of the business as long as yol
can"
The reporter said he would
"And now / really must be going. Tn,
sun rises so disgustingly early this time o
year.I think | shall go around to-morrov
night and haunt johnson. if / can find him
II you sAOuu ndpptu ~ see MN Wlsl
you'd mention it to him, so as to prepare
his mind People are always seary at frs
with us Perfect nonsense tool What
fool man must be to be afraid of a LITTLE
earbonic acid gas and moisturel That is al
lam. Put your hand out and feel mel Don Z
you see; you can stir all around inside Of m,
just as IL ] wasn't here"
Wonderful" said the reporter, "verl
wonderful! / never believed in ghosts be
fore. The oldest thing is that you, VIII,
lived so long ago, should take an interest il
modern politics"
"But / do, though" said the specter
Perhaps you would be willing to tell M,
if you are ia favor Of woman suffrage, Or
just at this iuncture, the reporter said
a cock crew ia the yard below, and the gnost
Of Adam suddenly vanished II was mos
unfortunate, too, for his political opinion
would have been interesting.
But I have never been able to rid myself
Of the impression that the reporter was Is
ing about the whole oeeurrenee.-N. Y
Weekly
his DsmeuIty.
The witty Samuel Wilberiorce, bishop o.
Oxford, mad no patience with admirers who
persisted In regarding him, with others o