Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1902-12-13
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Bramble-"No; l was."-Judge.
''She smiles so sweetly when one
sends her bouquet" "Yes! Confound
1t! No matter who sends it!'-Puck.
Politician - Congratulations Sarah,
I've been nominated" Sarah with de-
light-"Honestly." Politiclan-"What
difference does that maker"
Painless dentistry: did your den
fist hurt you much?" mot this time:
his charges were very reaso1able."--
Cincinnati ommercial-Tribune.
Hicks-"Did you get a peaceful rest
In camp that you expectedp Wicks-
mo; you see, we sat up all night play
ing jokes on one nother."-Somerville
Mass.) Journal.
Tommy-"Pop, what is an average
man" Father "An average man,
my son, is one who feels that he Is
a little better than his neighbors. -
Philadelphia Record.
A little angel Mother-"Willie,
hope you never do anything so wicked
as to tie tin cans to dogs tails" Willie
Nom. l never do nothln' but hold
the dog. "-Detroit Free Press.
Most men in selecting their wives
consider either their beauty Of face or
their figures" Yes, mostly the latter;
especially when the figures amount to
100000 or o."-Philadelphia Press.
She Ito returned warrior, enthusiasts
tically)-"And | suppose you almost
lived on horseback out there?" He
"Well, yes, toward the end of Lady
smith we did. 1t makes rather decent
Punch.
What is the difference between n
monologue and a dialogue, pap "a
monologue, my son, is a mans wife
talking to him, and dialogue is his
wife and her mother talking to him"
Town Topics.
Scheme That Failed-Tom (teasinglyl
Would you be sorry to hear that
am going to marry Edyth" Mayme
Indeed l should" Tom-"Why?"
Mayme-"Because l really like Edyth."
Chicago News.
Al suppose, in the collecting bust
Ness" said the inquisitive man, near
ly every man you go to see asks you
to call again" asks me?" replied the
collector. "Some of them dare me-
Philadelphia Press.
Modern science: Weary Willie
please, mum, can't you give a poor
man some breakfast?" Mrs. Givem-
nit-"Certainly. After you saw that
wood you may eat the sawdust. 1t
makes a fine breakfast food. Elk.
Pound of flesh: Financier tenant of
our forest, after a weeks unsuccessful
stalking)-"Now, look here, my man.
l bought and paid for ten stays. II
the brutes can't be shot, you'll have to
trap them! I've promised the venison,
and l mean to have itw-Punch.
Richard-"Hello Bob, got back from
your vacation? Had a good time this
SUMMER" Robert should say
had. l suppose you haven't heard 1
found a nice little wife up in the noun
tains." Richard-"Did you find out
who lost her?"-Boston Transcript.
The Inquisitive Visitor stopped at the
editors desk. "And do you file all
the communications that come in?" he
asked, interestedly. Not all of Them"
replied the editor, pleasantly; only
those that need their English polished
up" = Cincinnati Commercial-Tribun
The librarians humor: What" we
- AZ s. IL
is the greatest library book in the world
the book that is in the most de-
mand" "Carnegie's k-book," he
respond confidently, without looking up
from his work.-Baltimore American.
He died in town this summer. Dur
ing his last illness his wife nursed him
over the telephone from Newport; his
doctor treated him by telegraph from
Bar Harbor; and letter, written from
the top of the Alps by his clergyman,
was read over him at the funeral
Life.
Il have come" he began, address,
ing her father, toto suggest to you
that a union of our families would"
'T'm not in favor of unions" the testy
old Captain of Industry interrupted,
land l will not submit the matter to
arbitration. Good morning"
Record Herald.
rs this commission houseY' asked
the tall man. Eyes, sir" said the COM
mission merchant. What can we do
for youT "Well If you sell commits
sions, I'd like to buy one, if they're nor
too dear, for my son. 1 want lieu
tenants commission In the army, for
my son wants TO be soldier and he's