The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1902-12-19

1.-THE football season has arrived
4 the youth who has just entered the
ksnaratory department OF college
u let's his hair grow in long, tangled
Arrows, parts it IN the middle, sticks
Ut master over his nose, cultivates
satermined "foot-ball expression"
! goes home for the Sabbath in
A. that his erstwhile chums may
ae mon him with W and trembling, |
&c hetalks touchdown, brushes,
hunts" etc, etc. !
MA Won ever see a genuine game of
a,uhall, as played by college men?"
- cav "played" advisedly although
conld never see where the play
,oS in. To our mind it is the most
rauous game that ever came down
: nike. 1t resembles a railroad col
Ion. a cyclone, a prize fight, Finni-
- wake and the battle of Bunker
nm combined. The game is rough
I'd tumble and tough and rumble con-
Generation of clawing, scratching,
cwIing, tripping, wrestling, showing,
,neezing and splitting out of teeth
"a cnss words. He who enters the
i az a football player knowingly
"a with malice aforethought, should
! tried without jury and executed
|ithout benefit of clergy.
The game starts off by a big duffer
licking the pigskin in the direction of
Ieyen other big buffers, while ten
bore of the same specie stand behind
i'm. all doubled over as If suffering
.om a sudden attack of cholera infan-
NM. While the ball is yet in the air,
bese twenty two buffers aforesaid
nsh together and locking arms and
scs. proceed to lie down on the bail
nd the one who holds it. Then tall
nv wearing a golf cap and a cane
kith ribbons on it, blows a ten cent
thistle and the twenty-one arise off
u,ober twenty-five and allow him to
Iatch his breath and shove his ribs
back in place
Then he of the golf cap again blows
IL little whistle and both sides line
bp with their heads together like
ROSTERS sparring for an opening.
NE ball is then passed to some poor
MSS they have it in for and the whole
blamed outfit arise and sit on him for
kbout fifteen minutes, while the golf
eap proceeds to light another cigar
Itte and stick his head and shoulders
Down into the mass of arms, legs and
Eorn pants to locate the ball. Having
thoroughly satisfied himself that the
ball is still there and uniniured, he
blows on his whistle and the whole
push arise and proceed to go through
he same procedure again.
Sometimes a dutfer gets the ball
md starts to run away to find a soft
spot to light on, then they all take
efter him and just as he is congratu-
ating himself on not being O on,
The whole blamed tribe rally around
him and press him into the cold, dark
earth to use him as a center of attrac-
kion as they press him to- their manly
bosoms and hug the everlasting day
hight out of him. He is not supposed
10 return the caress, but to law
ish his pent up affections on the pig
skin and leak apout a quart of blood
from his nose, upon it.
Did you ever play foot ball? Only
once, fair child, since we reached the
age when our papa was not footing
our bills. 1t happened thusly. A
green team was organized in the town
wherein we had our being, and being
patriotic, we decided to play with
them in a game against a team from
our alma mater. In the kickoff we
played around the edges. Our side
lost the ball, so they decided to form
a wedge and sweep the college boys
off the field. We took our place in
the left center of the wedge and start
ed in. We don't remember anything
more till we came to about ten minutes
after and felt the doctor slipping our
backbone back into place. 1t seems
that we We're too light and was shot
into the air about sixty-seven feet,
and alighted with our head on the
bread basket of the center rush.
When we awoke he was just looming
out OF it, and depositing his dinner
on the green, green grass.
Well, we recovered sufficiently to
line up once more, they passed us the
ball and yelled run, jamie, rum
we ran like a gentle, startled fawn,
with the ball tightly pressed to our
palpltating BOSOM. Just as we got
under good Roadway and was smiling
2. the grand stand, a big, red-headed
DIVINITY student, with two-by-scant-
ing tied over his shins, and improvis-
60 coW.catcher over his nose and a
couple OF sofa cushions over his chest,
jumped straddle of our necks and
pressed u adams apple and chin
INTO the hard ground. Just as he had
gotten comfortably settled, the twenty
one other guys piled up on top of Us
and clawed, kicked and fought. We
wouldn't have minded so much had
tney not claimed foul and religously
neld their positions for fully half an
snour while they argued with thereferee.
Alter due and careful consideration
sne referee decided we were down.
plane it, we knew we were down all
ne time, but could not work our jaw
iooSe 7 0 conceae it. Then the referee
cccgan to reach down to find the ball.
uor eye-balls were hanging out con-
s.aerably and he mistook one for the
p!gskln and nearly ruined us for life
! insisting on hanging on to it. The
acilows seemed to think they had a soft
sua.p, Judging from the reluctance with
"nlch they vacated their perch. AS it
nas' an ambulance was called and we
accompanied it to u residence. We
nere not SO badly hurt as scared. they
salu' out our jaw bone was dislocated
- mat our lower teeth scratched our
use n our head was permanently
i lurea; 1t is a very pleasant game