Smyrna times., 1902-03-26

TO wondering upon the problem which !
my own state in the past night had
presented. Beyond a doubt my faith |
in heaven had failed RE in crisis. 1t
was useless to say that | had dreaded
parting with her. l had shrunk in ter
rOr from the thought of loss. absolute.
irreparable loss.
In striving to explain this cOwardly
weakness my mind reverted to Dr.
Brett. 1t had happened that in the
early days of Amy's illness | had spo
ken of the strength of her spirit as Gp-
ing able to sustain her Lody in the
coming emergency. This had resulted
in a somewhat aimleSs discussion. On"
ing which the physician had presented
the stock arguments of matCrial;s.n.
1t was incOnceivab!e to me that
lAould have been influenced by reason
ing not only baseleSs, but GiSmally fl-
miliar. | could have said every wor:!
that he uttered and could have given
him volume and page for his authority.
New views might have affected, ME
surely not the old and the oHtworn.
We had required to the subject many
times, having been much together in
| those days. and as l thought upon it
in the library that morning the convic
| ton was forced upon me that in some
mysterious way the man had under
mined my faith. The thought excited
resentment in me, and, though he was
/ not present, | sat there Il long wh.le
arguing with him, for could state his
| view at least as we'll as he could.
think, indeed, that my triumph was not
quite so complete as it would have been
if he personally had supported his side
Of the question. 1t was Il prOitl"SS
exercise, and was none the better for
it.
Amy continued to improve. We were
able to converse together. to renew our
plans. to speak cautiously of the peril
that had passed. In those days | had
once more the view of her own sweet.
simple and perfect faith. Though she
had felt herself going down into the
valley of the shadow, she had seen no
final parting. She could have sad
good night tC me before the long dark
ness with as complete confidence as
ever ON an evening with the next sun
six hours distant.
The relapse occurred upon the Goth
We felt no great alarm at first.
counted upon the strength which She
had shown upon the former occasion
and was far more hopeful, being able
to devote myself to the duties of my
calling with some approach to the al
nh IOcOtsx-n1 I c1aa-
less time than formerly at her house
knowing that she regretted my aban
doning of my work. and it vas because
of a word from her that l gave the
afternoon of Tuesday following the
date mentioned above to the prepara
ton of my Easter sermon.
was aware of my unftness for th!'
task. No man less than myself wa'
qualified to show the light to Others
for it had gone out in my hands so re
Gently, leaving me in darkness. l hoped
however. to derive some personal beI
eft from the work. 1t was my initn
ton TO meet more boldly in this SCr-nOl
the arguments which l had learned t
regard with a new adherence. Tha
they are REPUTABLE is beyond a doubt.
spent an hour fruitlessly in m
study. and then upon a sudden inspir:
ton went up to the room which was IL
mothers and which. since her dealt
{ had net been in use. | kindled chcr
+ full open fire and drew a table near
+ it.
f had not told any one where | wa
= going, but the omission did not imprCs
n me. did not dream that they coul
/, fail to know that l was in the house {
: could call my name without my hea
g ing.
a In the cheerful warmth of the fi=e
d began my work. l set up first logic
scheme upon which the discour'
d should be based, but it was no sOOnt
done than my mind wandered ava
e from it. | found myself considering
d question that had greatly distresst
L me: If Amy continued to grow wOrs
4 should we be married in that roc
Y where she lay? Would all the 10:
happiness that | had planned shriv
D. into few days of despair? To tai
1t one hand while death held the OtEt
t. to promise her at the moment when
IT must know that could do nothing f