Richmond planet., 1902-03-22
DAT JOHN.

[ tLynchburg, Va, Christian Organizer.
Whoa dar mule, gwine stumblin' long
here. Mistah Editah: habs er hard
time er ridin dis here mule, case its er
hckin' mule, an always hab ter ride
him when goes ober de mountains. 1
wuz up in de mountains twixt Lynch
burg an Farmville an l met a leedle
skule teacher an he axed did know dat
ar John Mitchell, editah OBJ de Rich
mond PLANET. / tells him, yes. Den
he axed me how long an when did
furst cotched on ter his recollection? 1
tells him dat 1 furst done quainted mer-
sef wild dat John in de woods OBJ Lunen-
burg kuntry when he wuz seekin' ter
freedify Pokey Barnes / wuz soften
by de roadside restin' mersef case 1 bin
huntin' possums all de night long, and
sezI j, young man who am yer? Yer
look nifty powerful citiied, an / spects
yer am one oh desc young ones whats
done been edicated an am now gwine
out ter teach yere people sumthing.
BLESSED HIM.
Den dat young man tole me who he
wuz, an all bout hissef; an bless mer
soul chile / layed mer hand on his head
an bless him an tole him dat John. in
de Bible, meant de same ~ Joseph an
Joshua de saboir ob his people. Den /
sed, ''chile, can't sey yer gwire stop
de suu till de battle done won, but do
sey dat see, cordin ter mer powers oh
profcyin, dat yer done reached up in de
heabens an yer done git er Planet, an
wild dat PLANET yer am gwine make dis
wurl burn" Den tole dat chile ter ga
on an sabe dem people at Lunenburg
from de gallows, but afore he went ON
his way, gibed dat chile de lucky hand
ter fight wild. case took de fifth jint ob
er black possum tail an rubbed it on de
left side OBJ his head two inches from
his left ear, and Lord chile, dat John
am bin fightin' wild dat PLANET eber
since.
WHAT BE SAID.
He done sed, Lynch law must
GO" lie done sed dat God must call de
pastor, he done sed church meetings
must be in beepin' wild de Bible, an
Lord, mistah editah, il do seem like dat
John am gwine lib an nebber die. He's
done squaller tailed cherry one oh his en-
enies; fer when dat PLANET gifts on fire
it rolls eberywhar it wants ter, ! nd gifts
all de news, whether dat ar John am
dar ar not when de minutes am read an
de meetin' journed, il gits all de news
any how. Taint no use er fightin' dat
ar John case when he gins 'er fight yer.
he jes fights till his enemy dies. Did yer
eber zee sich fightin' In yere life? Den
listen at dem names. One brudder he
done named him "Shad Belly Carter.
Now de people sey dat de very idea oh
dat ar nigger being called Shad Belly is
done turned dem all agin eatin shads
Dey sey Jes well let dem stay in de rib
Der.
BUTCHERS MAD, TOO.
An, Ill H. \
Dey sey dat de naming OBJ Brer Nelson
Williams "Hind Quarter Williams" am
done put de high price hind quarter
meat so low dat taint no use keepin it.
An all de people oh Rockets down dar
in Fulton am fixin ter move out, case
dey say dat de PLANET done glib dat sec
shun sich squapertailin reputation dat
de James ribber is done bin ordered ter
wash erway de dirt left dar by dat an
Brer Tom Briggs whose reputation am
known from Screamersville ter Rock
etts. An ali de penetentiry guards am
talkin bout lining case Brer Watkins
use ter be dare in de days OBJ de Read.
justice. An de sistahs OBJ de Baptist
churches sey dey swine kill all de meat
sellers whats named Davis case dey
'-moved that she be silenced'
THE QUESTION ASKED.
Now Brer Editah de question axed why
don't dat John stop, but Uncle Joe riss fer
ter ax, not why don't dey stop, but why
didn't dey stop afore dey sot dat PLANET
on fire? gwine leab dat John case he
done burn Brer Genal Morgan almos'
ter death. Brer Editah ] gwine ter
stop right here, case / done bin ter
Farmville an knows er powerful lot
bout de church meetin, bout de organ
lst, bout de organist gwine ter de Sun
day Skule Vention, bout one brudder
whats bin gwine sumwhare too many
times, bout dat ar brudder scarin de
pastor an deacOns, lowin he wuz gwine
tell all he knowed, an den bout dat
church meetin' whar dem members
done promised ter tooken care OBJ de
Genal Sociashun vided dey don't hab
but 100 delegates. Dey sey dat de pas
tor took an brought de Genal Sociashun
dare case it wuz too far fer dem ter go
way ober dar at Abortion among de N
OTHER TROUBLES.
leedle kuntry churches. Brer Exit
Watts done tried ter bring it ter Peters
burg, but dem dar people raze sich er
fuss till Brer Exit Watts sed "Brederen,
we can't take it." So den Brer Kirby
lows he'll take it. Now Brer Editah, desc
bL1uS5S dDl pretty Ddus case yer KNOW
Brer Moss done already had Brer Kirby
ober ter Danville atryin ter force him in
dat church, but dere am gwine ter be
sum nifty powful trouble. 1 closes, but
mex week Use gwine down dar in Tide
water secshun ter see how cum dat
Brer High Low Barco done tried ter git
two churches in dat ar Richmond an
failed in both. How can er man lead
when he am always lookin' fer er new
church? Mistah Editah, dar am sum
thing wrong down dar at Richmond
sumthing dat sounds nifty funny in dc
news papers. Must tell it? Alright
sab, jes git this paper mex week an Sc.
if don't tell it. writ yer dis letter an
mailed it at er station what dey calls
Crossroads, an den dribed wild mel
cart down by de way oh Chile's girls:
mill ON de Squamertation creek I'm
home ergin soften down waitip fer mel
taters an cool butternilk.
ii Vapo fOva da Tc-J