The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-06-20

fSWuz3 Ja!ez Jones. tnc bfacksnnrn thefe
He wuz creased lightning now 1 swear
| Ono day man brought powder keg
And set It down by Jones leg.
Jahez WIZ shoeing my colt just then
| and didn't notice l.: so when
He heated IL shoe and threw a chunk
0f ,ed,hot stuff; like piece Of punk
Right, into that keg of powder-why.
That red-hot iroli~yes sir. he nahbel
It fore that powder had chance
| 10 make US do Il song ana dance.
Wal YOU may know of brizkcr chap,
Bet give HE Jones for dash and snap!
! Boston GLOBE.
! "nenry Higgins: A Tale of the Corn
fed" By Eliphalet Withesby. Bigger
than David Harum.'' More Dialect
than David Harum,' too.
'I'ncle Bill BY Rosie Scribbleln.
Mere Horse Trading than There is in
David Harum.'
FLANK Dubbs' BY Albert Edward
King In its Tenth Edition Already:
Has Twenty More Pages than David
| Harum"
thcr: \ Tale Of Old Kew York Days"
Fnnnicr than David Harum.' Moro
| Whiskers than David Harunl. and More
None; than David Harun. Written by
the Son Of one Of the Original David
Harums. -
The Omelet Of Navarre'' BY Tessie
Mugs. Aged Nine, Written, on her
Way to School. and Bound Like 'Da-
vid Harum.'
When the Lighthouse was on Fire,
all Historical Ronance."; BY Jessie Car.
M 3 ,t ;, More More History than "Bavid
| Harum.'
Alice of Old kokonlo.''. BY Ernest
Loose. More Girls than David Har-
UNI and More Gilt Binding than David
Harum baltimore American.
! -:O:--
II wish the company would promote
ne to a conductor said the mororman
wistfuly.
SO DO l." said his wife.
"Nes,' added the motorman: ''now a
conductor is in fare way to be rich if
he does the right thing. State
Journal
Biddy and John lived very comfortably
together, and generally retired to bed
early. but John came home late one night
and found Biddy in bed
| Vi course, On opening the door, Biddy
shouted out to him: rs that you. John %
Yes. Bddy, darlint, it is me- Is there
ivytr d hit Of camel in the house, Bid
dy?'
NO." says Biddy. The last piece
buried down in the neck av that bottle
On the dhreSSer.'
Thin, Biddy, whereabouts will all find
nae SUPERB
yell get it in the basin on the table
the wan VIA the spoon in it,
"All right, darlint.'
John was devouring his supper very
Sreedily, and when he was finishing Bid
dy called out to him: How did you like
ycur broth. John?'
Fry we'll indeed, Biddy; they were
purity and stiff. but, darlint. there was a
lot Of strings in them, which was very
hard to chew
why, bless me soul. John,'' said Bid
dy. that's the starch basin you got into,
and yer ate me good nightcap, strings
and all."-Tit-Bits.
This is our latest novelty" said the
manufacturer, proudly. Good, isn't it o.
Not bad replied the visitor; "but
you can't hold candle to the goods we
make
oh! Are you in the same business?''
mo; we make gnnpowdey. "-Tit-Bits.
good story is going the rounds of the
offices Of the Metropolitan Street Rail
way company concerning the wonderful
presence of mind displayed recently by j
new conductor on one Of the ccmpany'>
trolley cars. This particular car was
bowling up Fifth avenue recently when
it was hailed and boarded by conlpan,
inspector.
The official hurriedly counted the pas
sengcrs III the car and found that there
were nine Then he cast his eye up tt
the register. which in these cars is
fastened to the woodwork above the door
and found that there had been only eight
fares runs up. He disclosed his iden
THY to the new conductor and called at
tcntion to the discrepancy.
Slowly and painfully the new hanG
counted over his passengers and thel
scanned his register
'Regcrra, an you're roight. SIR he
SAID. and promptly stopped the car.
Say. he demanded. addressing the
passengers in an authoritative manner
EVAN Q youse feilowS'll have to git of
the carr. KANSAS City Journal.
Three ragged urchins stroled into the
Natural History museum the other day
and paused before the case containing
the ostrich and her egg. They stared in
silence fer Il moment and then one OF
them exclaimed: Say. fellers, don't the
camel lay big eggs? '-Brooklyn Life.
lecturer on vegttariaDiSm in a High.
land village remarked in the course of
his address:
1T is to the pioneers of big movements
that the credit and homer belong, not to
the followers. and exhorted his hearers
70 become pioneers CT vegetarianism in
that ncighborhoot,
At the conclusion Of his lecture he was
warmly shaken 10y the hand by an old
3aoH; VINO thanked him forl. speaking 50
But think you've made 4 mistake -
replied the lecturer. Il don't know your
son, and I'm not aware that I mentioned
him tonight
Yes, yes."' said the old lady; donald
is one, Of those pioneers of big move
"Oh, see,' replied the lecturer.
What is your son. madam%'
What is Donald?" said the proud
mother in, a surprised tone. "Why,
Donald walks in front Of a traction en-.
CINE with red 1ag."-Tt-Bits.
has ADOPTED the 1 foiow sIn1' v ngh school
Chaw, chez, Chaw chez.
Da datty dat dat
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