Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-11-29
HK'S FILTRATION IDEAS
BEFORE R|LO HERD

w. G. Cooke Of Papaikou was one
of the fun.makers at the Elk social
last Friday night. says the Hilo Trib-
une OF November IA, and. being called
upon to speak to the ladies' on the sub
ject of Flirting" delivered himself
as follows:
MY Dear Ladies:-Tbis being the
first Social Session of the Elks Of
Hilo, in which the witchery of the de-
lightful sex has been allowed to mani.
fest itself, our balSheaded bachelors
are purring like moonstruck Tom.
mics to find that your Grandmother
Eve Is still In evidence, in the vast
curiosity you have displayed to find
out what an Elks' gathering is really
like. By this time you are doubtless
aware of the fact taat B. p. o. T.. Is
an organization very peculiar in its
methods, and that its presiding Off
GERS are vested with remarkable pow.
ers. The genius who controls the
herd on this occasion is, for the time
being, more OF an autocrat than the
Gar of all the Russias. He issues his
commands and like slaves we fly to
obey each within or vagary Of his little
mind. ] give you a most solemn as.
surance, ladies, that were he to com.
mand us to bestow kiss upon the fair
cheeks of each and every one present,
we should respond with a cheerfulness
and alacrity that might surprise most
of you.
so absolute is the authority of the
Ruling Elk during Social Sessions that
none dare question. and. believe me.
| have seen men prominent in the af-
fairs of the nation. politicians posses.
sing far more tact and shrewdness
than our own gallant Admiral, bust.
ness men, managers OF vast planta-
lions, the leading lights of the legal
and medical professions, men whose
dignified carriage when walking the
street, or when giving instructions to
the wives OF their bosom, is calculated
to inspire awe and reverence in the
average individual have seen these
men bow down with the deepest hui
mility before the Exalted One. All!
my dear ladies'; unless you would see
/ the idols OF your hearts drawn down
! to lower depths of servitI-,e than that
to which you have already reduced
them, you must be careful not to fos.
ter any inclination they may exhibit
towards Elkdom.
ITO me has been assigned the task
OF admonishing you against flirting.
| have been chosen to act as mentor
on this occasion, through the erro.
neous idea that possess some knowl.
edge, and am somewhat skillful In the
use of that knowledge to carry on a
Irritation. Now. | appeal to you, la.
dies, is there a single one among you
who would willingly admit that she
had been guilty of flirting with man
so mentally deficient and stupid as
your humble servant? One of the
characteristics Of an Elk is extreme
truthfulness! II you doubt my word.
,1ust test your husband the next time
he comes home later than usual. II
he answers cheerfully and readily. you
may depend upon 1t that he is giving
you straight story, But II he sud.
denly becomes dumb. and refuses to
answer, you may rely upon 1t that he
has passed through the silent degree
and knows all about the merits of the
system Therefore you will believe
me when say that know absolutely
nothing Of the art of flirting, except
the little that observation may have
taught me regarding the actions OF
others.
That some ladies' take a keen de,
light in tantalizing the unsophisticated
male is undeniably true. have
known young ladies-thorough Chris
tians in every other respect, who at
tended church regularly and, like
good Episcopalians, prayed that they
might be given due sense Of their
manifold sins and wickedness-and
: yet. no sooner was the service finished
than they were at 1t again using ev
cry vile and guile that the sex is he'll
to. to accomplish the subjugation OF
some foolish youth, That some men
are more susceptible to feminine
charms than others is evidenced by
the fact that very inexperienced
! yOunq man conhlpd IN mo a few mo