The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1902-04-06
HOTEL LOBBY GLEANINGS
A TRAVELLER RECALLS AN OLD IN
GERSOLL STORY.
Il Tells of a Mans Trip from Havana
IN HeII-VisitOrs at the
Hotels.

Robert G. IngersoH had the most pic
turesque way of telling a little story that
/ ever heard" said an old traveller the
other night. who-was found in a reminis-
cent mood. 1t was positively artistic. You
know Henry Ward Beecher once said he
was the greatest orator Of any time or
tongue. He certainly had every qualifca-
tion-voice. logic, argument. humor, pathos
and poetry.
Il remember a story he once told me on
a train going from Indianapolis to Peoria,
H.. many years ago. He afterwards used
the same story in one OF his lectures TO IL
lustrate the point that any place is what
the men make IL who live in it, whether it
be heaven or hell. 1t was about as follows:
Once there was a man died and went TO
heaven. The beauties Of that place had been
graphically pictured TO him on earth, so
much so that when he really arrived there
his expectations were at such a point he
was disappointed. He roamed aimlessly
about in the streets I'm search Of some old
earthly friends or acquaintance and he
found none OF them. Finally he went up to
St Peter and said: Il don't know that L
want to go down there and stay, but L
would like TO see just what sort Of a place
hell is; L doubtless have a good many old
friends down there" why certainly" said
st. Peter, interruping him. trains run al
most every hour" and at that he grabbed
up a time table from off the throne on
which he was sitting and as he rapidly
turned the pages explained that there were
trains running almost every hour, and he
could start down at such and such a time
and return at such and such another time.
Just buy you a ~found-trip ticket"
The recent arrival in heaven got on the
train. As he went down the road, the coun-
try grew more beautiful, and as he glided
swiftly Ger the well-ballasted roadbed he
lolled back in rich purple upholstery Of
the beautiful carriage and gazed out on
the landscape OF hills and howery fields and
WOODS as they seemingly whirled by in
the other direction. The train slackened
speed The brakeman opened the door
and In a loud voice called out He'll as the
train stopped before the platform OF an
elegant stone station. He walked through
the waiting room and out on the corner Of
the street. which led up towards the pub
lie square. As he did so he thought he
recognized a figure standing on the corner.
As ne got nearer he discovered 1t was
Charles Darwin. He walked I'D TO him and
rather hesitatingly introduced himself. He
told Darwin he had recognized him from
pictures ne had seen on earth and wished
TO thank him for the pleasure the work
he had left behind had given him. Mr..
Darwin thanked him for his appreciation.
and asked IL he had just come down that
morning and said If he were going I'D to-
N1I HO1AL win
along together They had not gone very
far when they encountered Richard Wag-
rer and Heinrich Heine coming out of a
side street arm In arm, and the four pro-
coded on their way together. When they
arrived at the public square they found
Voltaire standing on the corner. The new
conner was introduced, and Voltaire asked
him q number of questions, which are
usually asked of a recent arrival, and fin
ally concluded by asking what he thought
OF the place. The newcomer replied that
he must acknowledge that he was agree
ably disappointed and the conditions were
not as he expected to find them from the
representations made to him on earth.
Well put IN Darwin. this place was not
always as you now find IL. For Instance,
when I came here this eternal fire you have
read so much about on earth was still 60
Ing. but we have now subdued 1t and piped
II abou: the town and are using il for cook
ing purposes We have dug artesian wells
and have made the country agrioulturally
fertile. Why, let's see, Voltaire, wasn't II
only yesterday that we heard of a corner
lot in glory being sold for taxes?
Excuse me, gentlemen said the new
conner. looking about him and at the same
time feeling In all his pockets, but where
VIII I find a scalper's ofice?'"