Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-03-27
Tales of the Town.

/ have not been resting well of late
for some. unaccountable reason, and
the other night while at Milwaukee |
bumped up against a Gypsy palmist,
for two bits worth of information and
q recipe for nightmare, which has
been troubling me. Her name was
Madam Wanda or something like that
and she claims to be an expert dag
noser of palms. l saw her first in a
palm garden where she was reading a
palm tree, and it IS said that she can
see more in a palm leaf fan than the
average citizen can see in heaven by
means of a telescope. Wanda is a
sight reader of palms. The added
lines above or the slurs below never
bother her. She can play through
the most difficult palm without miss
ing a line, where the hand is proper
lY washed SO as to give a fair exhibit
ton of the main ditch and the lateral
branches from the main headgate.
When the palm is properly checked and
kept free from hog wallows and squirrel
holes, Wanda can wade through a
mans character like a smooth run
ming combined harvester through a
field of wheat. She does her test with
the ease of a Common Sense harrow
through an acre of mellow ground
and her words flow as smoothly as
the old Mississippi on a quiet day. |
knew how delighted Wanda would be
to see a clear hand, and then there
was Wanda's press agent and fnan-
cial hacker who does not like to see
Wanda take hold of a di%rt-covered
palm. He has a great fear of mi
crobes and a dearth of wardrobe, and
1t avs him to exercise much caution
IN this respect. | knew these things
and in order to receive the best at
tention given patrons, | purchased a
bar of CASTLE soap at a church fair
and put in two hours scrubbing the
print shop collection from my hands
and digging the high-tide sediment
from beneath my finger nails. | then
went down to Wanda's wigwam, pre-
sented myself to the head doorkeeper
and was invited in.
.sCan I do something for your" he
asked.
mo, SIR" said I; ''you can't do
anything for me. I want to see Miss
Wanda, the palm DOCTOR"
sOh, yes, certainly; % cents please,
and step right this way.
/ coughed up my two-bits and
stepped ''this way and was next be-
hind a government blanket partition
by the patent Gypsy, who exists on
palm pudding. | was motioned to a
seat and when | was comfortably To-
Gated the palmist said, "Let me see
your right hand" / presented my
hand, fresh from a bath of CASTLE
soap and hot water.
pretty white hand" said She;
''never worked much; owner inclined
to be lazy; has no foresight or will OF
purpose; no ambition; never amount
ed to much and never will. Future
prospects very clouded. Lines show
a career of idle dissipation; very de-
ceitful and something of a confidence
man. No literary talent or taste;
not fond of music or mathematics;
very coarse in nature; has no taste
for the beautiful; void of virtue and
goodness; criminally inclined; intend
ed for a highwayman but lack of
nerve and energy prevented; very
stupid; not up on current literature
Of events; very untruthful; never
loved and never was loved; contrary,
stubborn disposition and cowardly."
Here Wanda stopped for a breath
and her outside man came to the cur
ain and parting it said, 1.-The two
bits you gave me, sir, has a hole in it
and is not the amount of Miss Wan
da's reading"
'.All right" / said, "just cut out