The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-09-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

UcI dIOuLQ through Tie zAakGlIen SlTallS
to this port.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
DO you think there is anything re-
markable in love at first sight?" asked
the romantic youth.
Mot at ALL answered the cynic. Its
when people have been looking at each
other for four or five years that it be-
comes remarkable.''-W Washington Star.
"A woman isn't satisfied when her
beauty takes a mans eye." remarked
the Observer of Events and Things:
''she thinks she has a perfect right to
hold her umbrella in such a position as
to take his other one. "Yonkers States
man.
lobe uncomfortable without being I'M
happy one must be a philosopher or a
woman with tight shoes.-Puck.
Il lost a great deal of sleep over my
novel," said the writer in confidential
mood.
But your loss" said the appreciative
friend. was your readers gain"
Changes in temperature sometimes
startle by their NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
apolis News.
A literary exchange says that many
eastern authors, educated at the best
colleges, are now writing advertise
mentS for living. But what of that?
1t takes brains to write good advertise
ments these days, and in doing so the
authors are dead sure of getting their
work next to reading atter''-Atlan-
ia Constitution.
What did your old uncle leave?"
"A lost of disguised relatives. and a
jubilant young widow we'd never heard
of before. "-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Skiddings-I suppose you got a
hipr Dr a rhof
boy with the fractured skull?
DR.. Fixem-Yes, I was literally paid
for the operation. but then think I de-
served it.
Mrs. Skiddings-I hope you will not
forget that it was my Tommy who fired
the rock that did the business.-Boston
Transcript.
I'm always at disadvantage out in
'Why?" somebody asked with sur.
prise.
You see, 1 play and sing"
Il should think that would give you a
distinct advantage.
mo; never get chance to hear any
of the gossip. Record Herald.
Waiting for the wagon may be good
idea in warm weather, but the fel1ow
who gets there generally meets the
wagon on the way.-Atlanta Constitu-
ton. sfssg 4r
Tomorrow must be fearful institu-
ton since it is nearly rhymed with bor-
row and SOrrOw.-BaltimOre News.
II understand he claims the third edi-
ton of his novel was exhausted before
publication"
"Oh, no. That's what he used to claim,
but it's old. He says now that the fifth
edition was exhausted before it was
written. Chicago Post.
Have the Newriches changed much
since they became wealthy"
Yes; they now eat everything out OF
season Judge.
During the warm spell recently Brother
Dickey was heard to exclaim: BLESS God
ice is short in dis worl' en- no hope of eny
in de nextl'-Atlanta Constitution
Bridget-Oi can't stay, ma'a am. onles We
give me more wages.
don't know how to cook or do housework
at all.
Bridget-That's just it. ma am. an not
KNOWN how. sure the wurk is all the
harder for me, ma am.-Phladelphia Press.
Bill-A skeleton dug up in Texas has an
eight-inch jaw
Jill-Are any of the Bryan orators miss
ing?-Yonkers Statesman.
Politics-There was some disagreement
among the powers.
Familicus-Are you referring to my wife.
mother-in-law and cook ?-Judge.
Rich harvests fol. Georgia, in spite. OF
all the crackers: and the beauty of it is
the RI who hay I 6en nsewns 9de
somely in the fall--Atlanta Constitution
remarked the Observer of Events and
Things.-Yonkers Statesman.
What do people mean pa, when they
say the first shall be last?"
''They have in mind the New York base
Ia1I ol1t ", hot ST. rs % N q
and ends at the bottom Judge.
When the dollar rings there's always
rush to open the door
You will never get on the sunny side by
waiting for the world to turn round
Men who live in the stars generally
think 1t is hard world when they come
There Is any quantity OF gold in the land
but we enjoy it most when the other fell
low digs for it.-Atlanta Constitution.
1.-The devil is surely in the weather.
well may be the place where he lives
mo: from the way the mercury regis
tiers / Judge that it's broke loose, an he's
tryin' to collar itr'-Atlanta Constitution.
II suppose you are glad to be free?'
IT don't know about that" answered the
having to go out and hunt for work in
stead of having your meals brought to
you-"-Washincton Star.
Poor Uncle Roxley is SO poorly I sup
%2 Ss aa ss s ws be called to
oh stco." her mother demonstrated.
You're forever thinking of your own
leasure''-Philade1phfa News.
Mrs. Crow-James, have you ever
stopped to think what will become of US
when we old?
Mr. Crow-Ohi suppose wen wind up
as quail on toast at some table d'hote res
taurant.-Lffe.
Bfi-Bryanism is the cloud which hovcrs
over the Democratic camp.
Jill-Yes: and the trouble Is 1t has ST.
yer lining.-Yonkers Statesman.
God has given the poet an Imagination
so that he can have the pleasure Of think
ing of things he would do IL he had money.
II mans friends stick to him when his
money IL gone the price IL well paid.
The lazy man wanfs things leve1ed
down; the ambitious one tries to have
them evened up.
One nice thing about being a certain kind
of a preacher Is that he can go to such
wicked places after material for aerunora