The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-05-08

ne.-IOnuOu llt-BltS.
Because you are better than the man
you despise does not mean that you
are not worse than those who desplse
you.-New York Press.
Edith-You say SIR. Goldley deceived
Edith dreadfully about his ageg
Gladys-Yes. poor girl. After they
were married he confessed that he was
only sixty instead OF seventy five.
Cassidy-Why don't ye ate yer din.
nerY Casey Shure. this IS froiday. an
OPm wonderful Cassidy hat are 80
wonderin? Casey-ls turtle soup hsh
whin it's made ont o veal .--Phlladel
phla Press.
Guest QmpatientlY Say. walter. how
long have you been semployed .herel
WATERFRONT a week. sab. Guest-Oh.
Is that all2 Then ! must have giyel
my order to some other walter-chi-
cago Daily News.
Pleasant While IL Lasted: Whit
would you do If you woke up some
morning to lind that you bad inherited
a million dollarsY I'D turn over n
the other side and Try TO dream Il
again. Chicago Rccord-lIerald.
The Authors Privilege. An author
wrote to his publisher: Can | hope for
any royalties from my book this year,
The publisher replied: Yes. yon can
hope. There's nothing In the world 10
hinder you."-Atlanta Constitution.
The Test In Harlem. Gazzam latter
he has succeeded In waking his wife,
Open the dorsh. Mrs. Gazzam head
out of the second-story wlndowl-Are
you soberi Gazzam-Y esh. Mrs. Gaz-
zam-rhen say reciprocity. Harlem
Life.
Collapsed Building: "kape alive.
Mikel We're rescuin' ye." Voice from
the debrisJ-ls big Clancy on there wild
ye? sure he Is" Asst him wud be
be so kind as L step afr the roolns. I've
enough on top nv me widout him.
Brooklyn Life.
Why He Returned: Did you come
back for something you forgotf asked
Mrs. Darley, when her husband return
ed to the house few minutes atier
leaving. NO. my dear. replied he. i
came back for something ! remember
ed."-Town Topics.
What Is the matterT' asked the 1T
erary mans friend. Il don't know
what am going 10 do about this
weeks work" What Is the troublef
Il can't think OF any interesting ques-
tions to ask myself In my Answers TO
Correspondents column. Washington
Star.
He-My dear. we have cause Tor
congrntulation. | have just received
notice OF an unexpected increase Of
ten dollars per month in my wages.
she-You dear. sweet. lovely old boy
How perfectly charming you are wheh
under the influence OF the N-faise F.
Chicago Tribune
Doctor finding patient emptying n
bottle OF Here. here. my good
man. this will never do. That's the
cause OF all the trouble. Faeetious
Patient-weil then. I'll your glass.
doctor. Now we've found the cause.
I the sooner we get rid Of II the better.
Detroit Free Press.
Fast and Furious. -Backstop--l'm
glad TO see that you are making a
name for yourself as an author. old
man. Scriblet lmodestlyl-Ycs. Hon
ors are being heaped on me. Why. /
was only yesterday that learned that
my latest book had been thrown ont
of the Boston Library. -Bazar.
Composite: Dashaway - Quilldrlrer
seems to be a fellow OF extremes-one
who writes awful slush ana sublime
prose, and who is at the same time an
idiot and a genius. Cleserton-Where
did you get such an ideag Dashaway-
I've just been reading the reviews Of
his latest IIarper's Bazaar
Papas Consent Shc-lsnt 1t love
ly? Papa consents. He-Does he. real
I ly? She-Yes. He wanted to know
who you were, and told him you were
tape-clerk at Scrimp \ cos. and he
seemed real pleased. Ile-l am delight
ed She-Yes. and he said we could
be married just as soon as you were
taken into the 6rm.-New York Week
ly.
Quite another matter. Aarons-"Did
you hear dot latest aboud Finkelsteln|
Jacobs NO Vat vas IT, Aafons--
IVY, he gave twenty-five tousand dol
lars last Friday to dot leedle poy vat
vas run over NIT dem street ears.
Jacobs-"Is Flnkelstein gone crazy al
ready? vot ails him dot he do saeli q
dlngf" Aarons-"Oh, he vas on der
/ jury."-Ilfe.
But, mamma said the beautiful
South American hoircss, do you De
+ lleve viii have any trouble Ia being
received in society In the unlien
StatesT Il don't see why" answered.
her mother; you have plenty Of mon
ey, and you can make the best of theiu
look like small change when II comes
to being a daughter of the revolution
Indianapolis Sun
His face was pinchcd and drawn
With faltering footsteps he wended MS
way among the bustllng throng Anon
he paused. Kind sir" he exclaimed.
will you not give me loaf of bread
for my wife aud little onesT Tue
stranger regarded him not unklndiy'
Far be It from me-" he rcIolned. 10
take advantage of your destitntiol'
Keep your wife and little ones | 40
not want them" And. turning upon