The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-04

cans there to support one. life.
Not Much Hurt, Either: Yes, a sign
blew down and hit him. and he got
fifteen hundred dollars damages"
laQuite windfall. wasn't it?"-Ex. -.
1.-The. principal ingredient in all these
patent medicines is the same" st
must be powerful drug. What Is it,"
"Printer's ink:"-Town and Country.
Father-Now, remember i have for
hidden you to so out with young Tomp-
kins; don't let me catch you together
again. "No, papa-we'll try not to-
Life.
In Pursuit of 1t: Smithe-Hello!
Fine day! Are you out walking for
your health? Smythe-Yes; I am 60
ing to the doctors .-Indianapolis
News.
All's Fair to Him: Street car Con-
ductor-How old is that boy. ma dam?
I.ady-Why do you ask? Conductor
Because it's y fare question.-Chicago
News.
Sympathetic: Daggs-I'd have yon
know, sir, that my ancestors were blue
blooded. Diggs-Too bad; why didn't
they take something for it?-Ohio State
Journal.
| When a workingman has a job, the
presumption is that he is an honest
man. When politician has one the
presumption is the other way.-phila
Helphia Ledger.
! Photographer-Now l want you to
look as if you were not having your
picture taken. Customer-Then you'd
better give me back the deposit l made
in advance.-Life.
Interesting and Exciting: Il no.
ticed a large crowd gathered in front
Of your house this morning, Worrit;
what was the natter" Il was dis
charging the cook."-Ex.
| Mrs. O'Rourle Ito charitable old Mr..
Hartwell, who is giving away poultry
to the needy)-Long life to Yer honor;
sure, LIT niver see a goose agin, but
L'lI think Of yez!-Harlenl Life
| A Sinecure: Mrs. Flynn-An' phwat's
yer son N1oike doin' now. Mrs. Casey?
Mrs. Casey-Shure. Moike amt dom
anything, Mrs: Flynn. He's got a
government job.-Leslie's Weekly.
"Say, my uncle dat's visiting us has
got woodeD Leg" Ugh: dat's nuth-
in When l was down ter New York
saw man dat WAS all wood in front
Of cigar store. FL .eslie's< Weekly. 4:sr,
Reduced to a Good Basis: "Well.
how does it seem to be engaged to such
wealthy girl?'' ''Fine! Every time
| kiss her feel as if were taking the
coupon off a government bond. Life.
A Fight jury: Western Judge-Has
the jury come to an agreement? Fore.
man with broken nose and black
eye)-I don't know, yer honor. Most
Of them are unable to speak at present.
Smart Set.
Candidly Avowed: what do you in
tend to do when you are out Of pub
lie life?' asked the friend. And with
out moments hesitation Senator
Sorghum answered: Get in again.
Washington Star.
Wife-I am going down town this
morning to try and match piece OF
silk. Husband-Nery we'll, my dear;
I'll tell the cook to save some dinner
for YOU, and I'LL put the children to
bed myself.-Tit-Bits
His Way: Sabbath School Teacher
When very angry, what should you do:
Johnny Thickneck-knock the other
Teller down, sit on his head, and then
count one hundred-that's the only safe
way, ma'am.-Judge.
please Punishment: "Did
|pater-familias shoot the burglar he
found in the house, 'No! Much
worse than that. He made the man
walk up and down with the baby till
the break of dawn!'-Judge.
'.Why are you crying, little boy"
zone of them artists paid me a dime
20 sit on the fence while he sketched
me-" ''Well, is there any harm in
that?' Eyes, sir; it was a barb-wire
fence'- Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Jenkyns-1 see Mrs. Hoetong IS
going to have "King Lear" at her next
private theatricals. Mrs. Newrich (fu-
rious with envy}-1s she? The affected
thing. Do you know, I done believe
he's real king at al. Tit Bits. y y,
J | Ant Comparison: "When I see what
Barlow accomplishes l am forced to
admiration" said Bunting; "he has
; great physical endurance" ".sure," re-
piled Gargoyle; ''that man has the con-
stitution of a debutante. "-Bazar.
Where They Flourish: Crawford-If
you're not going out to buy a new hat,
but merely to- look at them, what do
you want with dollar?. Mrs. Craw-
ford-Why, you can't get a decent seat
at the matinee for less than a dollar
> Elk.
The Boston Variation: Bacon-They
never say in Boston that a child is
born with a silver spoon in it's mouth.
Egbert-What do they say, then? Ba-