Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-15
JOBsoN ON A DIET

Dye know remarked Mr. Jobson, after
dinner the other evening, as he got up from
his reading chair and began to walk up and
down the room, that what / need Is
course of strict dieting on the scientific
German plan?"
Mrs Jobson succeeded in hiding the shud-
der with which she heard Mr.. Jobsons
opening gun looking to the Introduction
into the Jobson domicile of new fad. and
even made an effort to look interested
Yep" went on Mr.. Jobsen, stopping be-
fore the latrobe and gazing critically at the
isinglass.- I'm convinced that about nine
tenths of all Of us poor. misguided human
beings eat too much--that we're giuttons. in
fact. and that our gluttonous habit of life
shoftens our days a whole lot. Take the
way feel right now. I've been eating a
big dinner of roast beef and q lot of useless
fat-making vegetables and sweets. I'm so
logey and wheezy. and stuffed and indiffer-
emit that even at this early hour I've got
only one idea in my head. and that's to get
to bed as soon as possible. A man who
giuttonizes as do. as most of us do--what
chance has he got TOR high thinking?'
Mrs. Jobson wanted badly to smile at
this. but she knew the danger Of attempt.
time.
What would be your idea of dietr' she
inquired, softly. s-s.-
Why" said Mr.. Jobson scratching his
head, there's German chap named Schle-
singer or schlusinger, or something like
that. who's got It figured out pretty pat
that there's plenty of nourishment in spin
ach alone-just boiled spinach-to keep the
human frame in the best of shape He says
that there's more iron in spinach than IN
any other sort of vegetable, and that plenty
OF spinach makes bone and sinew and mus
Gle. He recommends, besides the spinach,
about six graham waters day, with the
/ 1Jc ,f fxryn h%o F,~ .1S,,v,
every day. and a large cupful Of hot water
before each meal. You're allowed 10 eat all
the spinach you want Now, that sounds
pretty reasonable, doesn't it? I've often
heard that spinach has got more strength
gfving-er-qualities in 1t than any other
sort OF food. and I've heard of an athlete
who never trained on anything else. OF
course, this system Of diet doesn't permit
I'm sick and tired of meat, and nave been
for long while. I'm going to begin on this
diet at once. and IL 1t doesn't make a
different man OF me inside of month III
buy you the cutest red sled for Christmas
that you ever clapped an eye on"
But put in Mrs. Jobson. "aren'. you
afraid to begin on so severe system Of
diet all of a sudden-don't you think it will
require-er-too much fortitude to under
take it in all of its rigidness at once"
Madam" replied Mr.. Jobson. Il am get
ting pretty tired of these Institutions Of
yours that your husband Is mental polly,
that what man can do or has done, can DO
And In order to prove. as it seems neces-
sary to prove, to you that am not the
weakling you seem to consider me. an 60
ing to begin on this system Of diet nc later
than tomorrow morning at the breakfast
hour. I shall rise in time to go to the D,ar-
ket for supply of spinach and 20 give YOU
| time to boil it. and while you are stupefy-
ing yourself with meat and coffee and such
stuff shall be paving the way for a higher
| kind of thinking by beginning on this ascetic
diet. I'll just endeavor to prove to you
that I'm one or two degrees above the star
| fish when 1t comes to exercising VIII
power
BY the time that Mrs. Jobson had boiled
| the spinach for which the strong-willed Mr.
Jobson had left the house at dawn. and set
the cup Of hot water alongside his plate ami
placed the graham wafers-convenient to his
hand, there was rich and pleasing aroma
of Mocha in the dining room, in addition to
the appetizing fragrance of frying baccn
and eggs. These constituted Mrs. Job3oa's
breakfast, and when the serving maid set
them alongside Mrs Jobson's plate Mr.. job
son glared hard and shifted. But he brave
! ly poked his fork into the side dish of spin
| ach after drinking his hot water with wry
| face, and made a desperate effort to convey
| by his manner that he was enjoying the in
itial meal of his diet.
att does look simple and strengthening.
must say" remarked Mrs. Jobson by way
of comment, and Mr.. tJobson glared at her
again as If to detect something facetious in
her tone. -.
"That's what 1t Isl replied Mr.. Jobson.
land I'd hate to be like some folks that
haven't got enough spine about them. when
| 1t comes to Graduating evil habits TO per-
NIT of their standing up straight"
Mrs Jobson didn't find it necessary to
make any reply or to inquire how long the
eating of normal food had been CONSIDERED
by Mr. Jobson an evil habit, but when she
asked him. as he was leaving, If all he
would want for dinner would be the spinach
and the beaten yolks Of two eggs and tine
hot water he almost shouted his Affirmative
reply as he bounced out of the door.
Mr. Jobson didn't have much to say for
himself when he returned home that after
noon but he smiled eagerly at the fra
GRANGE of beefstead and onions that had
penetrated the house, and there was wolf
| ish glare in his eyes.
When he took his place at the table and
found all prepared for him, the mess Of
spinach and the whipped egg-yolks and the
| hot water and the stingy.looking granam
up and carrying the dishes out to the back
yard, threw them into the garbage barrel.
Then he returned to the dining room and
doomed very high over Mrs. Jobson.
Madam" he said, "I'll thank you for a
serving of that beefsteak and onions, and
portions of whatever else you've seit1shly
prepared for your own consumption. Upon
careful elaboration l have concluded that
1t Ia out of the question for me to under
take any sort Of reforms under this roof. L
shall make no such attempts in the future.
Here when had absolutely ana urrnly de-
cided to improve myself, physically and
mentally, by resorting to a lifelong diet of
simple food you have the cold booded self
| ishness, the utterly inconsiderate and ma
| licious spitefulness. to faunt odorifsrous
foods. to the taste of which it is only nat
ural that my appetite should revert when It
| is flashed before me. right in my face! My
environment is all wrong for self-denial or
| self-improvement-I might as well make up
| my mind to that fact first as last! 1 could
| have gone on. with even little bit of
wifely assistance with the regimen l had
| appointed for myself for thousand years
| but when a mans wife, for whom he has
toiIed and shaved for years, deliberately con-
verts herself into his temptress and de-
stroyer-well, I call II pretty near the end
| of things, Gimme hunk O that steak and
some potatoes and succotash and gravy and
beets and all the rest of 1t! / fall hard, bur,
remember, you. and you alone, are response
BILE for my fall, madam"