Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1902-11-12
Collars Are Hygienic.

Collars Are Hygienic.
Again. collars are hygienic in the extreme.
This may not appear true on the surface.
but may safely be stated in view of the
weird discoveries that the medical gentle
men are now making. We are told that we
live in a world Of germs, that the food we
eat, the water we drink, the very air we
breathe are all laden with insidious wicked
and death-dealing organisms of less than
atomic corporeality, but more than mon
strous activity. Everything with which we
come In contact is germ laden, the wise
men of the mortar tell us. Through the
very pores Of our skin deathblows are de-
livered. Now, the neck is one of the weak
est parts Of the human body, and at the
same time is one of the most important
parts The collar guards the neck against
the satanic germ Eureka! new reason
for wearing collars Is discovered.
Still further, collars form an index to the
progress Of a nation. The people who wear
collars are incomparably further advanced
than the people who leave their necks as
nature provided them. Even the sayages
who string beads into a species Of collar
are on higher intellectual plane than their
fellow savages who do not run to beads In
our own country striking example Of the
Importance of collars from national stand
point Is afforded by the Chinese exclusion
act. De you think we would ever have ex-
cluded the Chinese If they wore collars?
But spread the news not abroad. Should
the benighted laundrymen of Chinatown
ever learn that all their fellow countrymen
need do In erderte get an entrance into this
delectableas kingdom Is to don collars the
well-laid plans of Congress would be agley
forever. Our collar makers would dance a
merry fling, but the rest Of the nation would
pay the piper.
Tendency to Irritate.
IN truth, collars have their shortcomings,
too. We have already limited at one fault
the tendency to irritate one when one is
heated-and we have obviated this fault,
for the present, by removing our collar
But there are times when the collar can
not with ipropriety be removed. Such oc-
casions are multiplying daily with the
ever increasing variety of parlor games
being placed on the market by enterprising
dealers. A ping-pong enthusiast, for ex-
ample, must feel worried when he is call
ed upon to display his skill at a social
gathering. How he would like to rip that
band Of linen from his neck. but he burst
not violate the cOnventionalities And his
opponent, chubby faced college youth
with comfortable turn down collar or a
sporting dominic with queer stubby little
turn-up, grins at him comfortably while
he, perspiring in his ridiculous but fash
ionable choker. makes ludicrous and feeble
attempts TO drive. cut or kill the tiny cellu-
loid sphere.
Moreover. II 1t were not for collars we
would not be cursed with collar buttons
those imps OF mischief, who delight TO
frolic in most unexpected quarters while
their aggreved owner Is hunting for them
on aching knee. But there-every one will
be satisfied with mere hint at that line
Of argument The subject Is distasteful
to well regulated mind and the morbid
should never be encouraged.
Taking all things into consideration. the
problem presented By the collar Is one