Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-05-24
DAILY SHORT STORY
Crushing a Drummer.
copyright. 1902. by c. B. Lewis


room on the fourth floor not Il word OF
protest fell from his lips. 1t was al
most 10y accident that anybody got on
to the fact that lie was a drummer
When the discovery was made that
such WAS his profession, the landlord
beckoned him into the private office
and began:
| young man, what sort OF little
game are you trying to play in this
town.
"Tm-Tm not playing any game"
was the confused reply.
Il hope not for your own sake, but
things look very queer. People who
came up in the bus with you tell me
that you hadn't word to say against
the town"
'No, sir"
"And when you entered this hotel
you didn't throw your grip at a bell
boy and bang up to the office and de-
mand n second floor parlor ut 81 per
day. What was the matter with you?"
''That-that isn't my way, SIR
81 hope you are speaking the truth.
young man." said the landlord as he
glared ut him. The man who lies to
The head waiter says you ordered from
the bill of fare and made no kick.
Was that part of your game:"
Il don't understand you"
"But you will before we get through.
You We're in the smoking room last
evening. There were Il score of 9th
ers there, but YOU worked that humili-
ty dodge to perfection. You did not put
your feet on the back of Il chair; you
did not announce in loud voice that
you were from New York: you did not
boast that your firm was the biggest in
the world; you did not say that every
one horse town in the country had
better hotel than mine. Perhaps you
can explain in Il police court, but l
am far from being satisfied. There
is something behind all this, and I
have teIegraphed your house TO know
whether you are all right or not"
"Why, of course ! am all right" said
the young man as his face grew trou-
bled. 81 told you this was my first trip.
and if have done anything ont of the
way
"That excuse doesn't go down. young
man. Have you found any fault with
the railroads entering Schenectady
since you came here
''No, SIR
"Have you had one single word 10
say against our river, the weather.
street car service or the police depart
mcnt:"
Il don't think So" .V
"And, look here. young man." c0ntin-
ued the landlord as he touched the
three drummers In the smoking room
all the while You sat there. You must
have known they were drummers. You
heard each one of them get off Il whop-
ping big lie, but you never opened your
mouth"
"But what was to do:"
"You n drummer and ask such
question. Great heavens. but what is
the profession coming TO. You should
have gone in and told n lie big enough
TO drop all three of them, of course. Do
you mean TO tell me that you can't tell
a lie:"
"N-no, sir,' was the trembling an
swer.
"Jehoshaphat to Jerusalem, but how
did you get this far from New Hork
without losing your clothes? You in
tend TO sit still and let three old liars
show off and get all the credit! Well.
well, but / took you for Il suspicious
character as you got out of the bus.
Perhaps you will next tell me you
can't tell funny story
''No, sir; l can't" was the contrite
admission.
'Humph! Well. your guilt grows
blacker and blacker. When you left
New York, didn't you have lot of old
jokes and gags and guys stored up in
your head to get off in country towns
like this:"
"No SIR
mo lies, no jokes, no guys. And you
you call yourself drummer. 1 can't
find words to express my establishment. |
When you leave here. are you going at
2 o'clock in the morning and wake ev-
erybody in the house banging your
trunk along the haIls?"
"No, sir; am going away ut noon
today"
Going to tell every drummer you |
meet for the next month that this is
the cussedest town you ever struck |
for business
mo. sir; business has been first rate |
with me-
And you don't intend to ask me to
take draft on New York in payment
for your billy
NO, sir"
Nor kick at paying $3.50 per day
and say you can live cheaper at the
WaldorfE"
mo, sir"
"Young man. see herer' said the
landlord as he bent forward and drop
ped his voice Il peg or two. There is
no doubt in my mind that you are
shower of the queer. dealer in green
goods or n spotter for bank burglars.
AS an honest man it is my duty to
turn you over to the law. but I'll give
you chance to reform. Pay your BILL
get out of the ladies' door with your