Omaha daily bee., 1902-12-24
FEAST OF The NEWS VENDORS
Eighty Vigorous Appetizer Collide with
Turkey, Pie and Other Edibles.
ONE SATISFIED, THE OTHER DEMOLISHED
No Carriages, No Flowers, No swallow
Tailed Coats, but Function Makes
Up I'm Interest what IL
Lacks in style.

Eighty OF the most prominent and best
known young business men Of Omaha were
banqueted at $50 last night at the First
congregational church by courtesy of the
women Of that congregation and as guests
OF the three daily newspapers whose edi-
lions they retail. Afterward they we're the
guests Of Manager Carl Reiter Of the Or
Dheum theater.
The AFFAIR at the church was a function
OF much pomp and circumstance. Hon. Joe
Carroll and Hon. Mogy Bernstein, with
Captain Grip OF the supply station at Six
teenth and Farnam streets, were given the
seats OF honor at the east end Of the ban
quet hall, facing the prohles Of the other
guests, who ranged along the two long ia
bles extending westward. All were in full
dress-very full by the time they were
through eating. Mr.. Joey Newman got his
too full and had to be helped out into the
air and revived.
All delivered addresses, extemporaneous,
but pointed and full OF philosophy. Mr..
Fatty Fisher said the occasion would re-
main Impressed upon both his cerebrum and
his cerebellum through all future cpochs
and that In the meantime he'd be glad to
get another helping OF turkey. Mr.. Mickey
Free expressed an entire concordance with
the sentiment Of the occasion and wondered
II he could be put next to a third slab of the
angel food. Mr.. Two Sticks declared that
the event had inclined him to optimism.
Notwithstanding he was two feet shorter
than he was before he got under the street
car. Mr.. Jumbo (maiden name Little
Eddy") toasted the Ave volunteer cooks
and eleven walters and Immediately there
after gave them all something to do.
It's In the Air.
Mr.. Cream Saba, real Syrian, and Mr..
Nano Pasha, real Turk, spoke of the facility
with which one Of foreign birth may in
noculate himself with the germ OF Yankee
strenuoslty and incidentally inquired how
the celery was holding out. Mr.. Shanty
Campbell dessertated upon the immutable
law of human progress and stated that he
himself was getting along very we'll at that
writing. Mr.. Goo-Goo Eyes O'Brien de-
Tended as righteous aud imperishabla the
principle of free speech, but admitted that
personally he was too full for further ut
terance. Mr.. Oshy Rosenthal denounced as
inaliciously and designedly false the derog-
ntory rumor that he had surreptitiously ac-
quired and sold a ball and chain belonging
at the police station and then to prove his
good incllnations slowed seven pickles away
in his right-hand pocket. Mr.. Buddy Cramer
iCcou lte' tho Joys OF lie .ig 'oh to Cali
:ornie in a boxcar, but drew the conclu-
sion that the mashed potatoes should come
his way by express. Mr.. Joey Mahan, the
Jude too proud to hustle, deprecated any
manual toll tending to detract from in
herent da.ntiness, but allowed he could
dispose of more jelly without soiling his
lunch hooks.
Mr.. Izzy, who generally is not where his
mother thinks he is, occupied a seat ad-
lived a half hour earlier than "the bunch"
'or that express purpose, and he was q
very busy Icy through the entire pro-
Feeding, because he sat next to Mr.. Little
shanty. con man, who had successfully
gold-bricked a waiter into giving them
through service to the pie works. Mr..
Hunky Grapenheiser begged to be excused
from speaking, because the days open air
meetings had made him husky Of voice.
Others devoted considerable attention to
the provisions of the pure food law.
Not Too Proud tn Walk.
Those who had not their private car
riages had walked to the church from the
rendezvous back of The Bee building in a
body and left the same way, first pausing
to give a Comanche hurrah as an express
sion of the gratitude they felt. Another
hurrah was for Manager Relter and an
other was as encouragement to a Bee stan
photographer, who was trying to get them
still long enough for a fashlight.
This was but one Of several annual din
ners given the newsboys OF Omaha. but
the guests seemed no less Interested and
pleased with the progress Of the meal.
There was good order, and somewhere out
in this broad universe they had found
water and soap enough to reduce their
complexion to approximately the normal.
This morning, while more fortunate chill
dren slumber peacefully on in coy beds,
these ambitious little business men Will
have to tumble out in the semi-darkness
to take up a burden almost as great as