davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
THE KICKER.

He kicked at the weather; it seldom
came right;
1t was always too hot or too cold:
wet would cause blight,
If the weather continued to hold,
He kicked at his breakfast, his dinner
and tea;
He vowed that his cook made him
sick;
All times and whenever he happened
He always could manage to kick.
He kicked at the bills from the stores
that were sent
To his wife it is needless to state;
He kicked at the acting whenever he
went
To the play, which was always fifth
rate.
He kicked at the way the assessor
assessed
What he owned as mean, naughty
trick.
As a general thing he considered il
On every occasion to kick
He at last kicked the bucket, and we
may expect
When he reaches the heavenly
shore
There'Il he such CONSERVATION among
the elect
As has seldom been caused there
before,
If his harp's not in tune or his robe
don't fit.
Or his crown on his head don't stick,
We who know of his ways wouldn't
wonder a bit
If he made vigorous kick
Chicago News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
KIp-NE-oIps DO THE WORK.

When the Kidneys are out of order
all the other organs of the body are
disturbed. The hands and feet are
cold, the head aches. the appetite is
lost, the blood is thin, etc. Cure the
sick kidneys and TIE rect of the body
win get well. The surest cure known
is Kid-Ne-oids. soc. Try them.
T. H. THOMAS. Leading Druggist.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
or an Hot weather Enemies

of humanity cholera is the worst
Treatment to be effective must be
prompt. When vomiting, Purging
and sweat announce that the disease
is present, combat it with Perry
Davis Painkiller. All bowel troubles
like diarrhoea, cholera morbus and
dysentery are overcome by Pain
Killer.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
Six students secured positions

within the last week. Calls for more.
New students enrolled daily. Enter
now and be ready for Il good place
soon. Open tonight till .. Night school
begins Oct. l. Browns Business col
lege.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for children teething. 1t
soothes the child, softens the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind collie, and
is the best remedy for diarrhoea. 25
cents bottle.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
&c" With a Tail.

The &C" with a tail is the trade
mark of Cascarets Candy Cathartic.
Look for it on the light blue enameled
metal boxi Each tablet stamped
C. C. C. Never sold in bulk. All
druggists, Ioc.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
Feet Swollen TO Immeuse Size.

81 had kidney trouble so bad" says
]. j. Cox, of Valley View, Ky, ''that
l could not work; my feet were swoE
len to immense size and was confin-
ed to my bed and physicians were I'M
able to give me any relief. My doctor
finally prescribed Foley's Kidney
Cure which made well man of me"
Sold by all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
A New Jersey Editors Testimonial.

NJ. T. Lynch, editor of the Phillips
burg, n. J., Daily Post, writes: Il
have used many kinds of medicines
for coughs and colds in my family,
but never anything so good as Foley's
Honey and Tar. L cannot say too
much in praise of it." Sold by all
druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
Chicago Dental Company
For You.

If you are in need of dental work
call on us before going elsewhere as
we can save you money. We use
nothing but the best of material and
our work is guaranteed to be first
class in every respect. If you are in
need of set of teeth call and see our
thin elastic plate. We guarantee it
to fit in all cases and when all others
have failed. We never ask you more
than our prices below.
CLEANING FREE
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
His Life Saved by ChnmberIain's Collie
ChoIerA and DIarrhoea Remedy.

CholerA and DIarrhOea Remedy.
rB. l.. Dyer, n well known cooper of
this town, says he believes Chamber
lain's Collie Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy saved his life last summer.
He had been sick for month with
what the doctors call bilious dyson
terry, and could get nothing to do
him any good until he tried this rem
edy. 1t gave him immediate relief -
says b. T. Little, Merchant, Hancock,
Md. For sale by all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-09-10
Enrolment in Schools


The enrolment of the Rock Island
grammar schools to date, according
to data collected today by Supt. III. b.
Hayden, is 2,921 pupils, of which l.
$50 are boys and 1 AL are girls. The
total enrolment in the different
buildings is as follows: Hawthorne,
COL; Washington, 100; Kemble, 215;
Lincoln, 527; Eugene Field. $685., Irv-
ing, 374; Longfellow, .34S; Horace
Mann, 255; Grant, 112.
The regular routine of class work
has been taken up at the high school,
beginning today. The figures show
ing the enrolment have not yet been
compiled, but it is known that the
freshman class is the largest in the
history of the institution and the pro-
portion of boys is the greatest of any
class that ever entered the school.
There are 125 freshmen and so are
boys.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
RECIPROCITY is NEEDED.
Chicago Business Houses DO Not
Support County schools.

".k Citizen" In the Carthage Press in
the following letter gives some good
reasons why the home merchant is en-
titled TO consideration in preference to
the mail order house:
EDITOR Pass: Speaking Of the con.
ditions Of trade among the merchants OF
Carthage and other cities Of Jasper
county, there is one condition that could
be bettered IL the rural trade and some
Of the city trade would remedy their
errors. We hear every day complaints
from farmers about the prices they re-
ceiyed for their prodhco. 1t is possibly
true that they do not get the very top
prices here that are paid in metropolitan
cities, but there are hundreds Of truck
farmers that get all they make out Of
what thoy sell here.
/ These same men send away TO St
Louis and Chicago, orderir q from cat :
logues, for everything they buy, paying
absolutely more for the same article,
shipping expenses considered, than they
would pay here. They are deceived in
the value and are too proud to own up,
and their neighbor does the same thing
over after them.
have often wondered what those
same people would do il all the mer-
chants left Carthage and they had to
buy every things in Chicago. They
would have no market and would feel
the loss very heavily.
Another thing, the merchants Of JAS
per county-not everybody, but the
merchants alone-pay over 100000 u
year for the single item of school xes,
which is an equal benefit for Mr..
Farmer with every one for the schooling
Of their children. How much does the
| Chicago catalogue house payY Nothing.
1t looks like that ought to set thcm
thinking. II there was any advantage
to be obtained by sending their money
to Chicago it would he different, but
after careful perusal OF Chicago cata-
logues and inquiry here it developes
that Carthage prices, freight and ex-
press taken into consideration, and less
than Chicago prices.
Think it over, Nh Customer, and
then make up your mind whore the
trade belongs. Let's quit enriching ex-
press offices and Chicago people to the
detriment Of our own community.
A CITIZEN
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
Entertaining Fiction.

One advantage Of reading serial
s. ory 10 n daily newspaper il that an in
stallmcnt Of convenient length is recei-
we'd every day that does nat consume an
undue amour: Of tho readers time. An
lstallment Of LiIh-grHde serial story
appears in .oycry issue Of TIE CHICAGO
RECORD HERALD-a popular feature OF
that enterprising Chicago daily. Every
issue contains also short illustrated
"human interest" story on the editorial
page. Readers Of THE CHICAGO RECoRD-
HERALD can depend upon u nevorfailing
source of pleasant entertainment in the
noteworthy fiction that is always to be
fonnd in its columns.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
Special Rates.
Andy Bryant.

Sdecal round trip rate Of SlG. 80 to
Pueblo, Colorado Springs, and Denver.
Tickets sold June % to 2i, July I to l3
August l to IA, and % and "a and
August 30 to September 10. Return
limit October 30.
Pueblo, Colorado Springs Glenwood
Springs one fare plus 81 for round trip
following dates: June l to q, % to 30;
July II To 81, August, 10 to %, % to 20
and September IL to Ii, Stopover
privileges going west OF Pueblo.
Peoples party convention Topeka, Kan.
sas June 2I to 70, one fare for round
trip.
For the Biennial meeting Knights Of
Pythias, San Francisco, Cal, August
18th to l4th, 1902, the Mo. Pac. will sell
round trip tickets to either San Fran.
cisco or Los Angeles on August ID to 9Th
inclusive, with final return limit Of Sep
tomber 30, at s45.j5.
Special wost bound tourists excursions
to Denver, Colo. Springs and Pueblo,
sl6.SO round trip. Tickets sold June %
to "a, July to II, Aug, to IA, % and
"a and 30 to Sept. 10; final limit Oct. 81
Glcnwood Springs, s26 so; salt Lake
City $3.50.
Annual meeting Young Peoples
Christian Union of tho United Presby-
tcrian church, Tacoma, Wash, July %
to 27, tickets sold TO either Portland, o.,
Tscoma or Seattle, Wash, on July lG to
81, with fiLal limit Sept. II, for s47,0j.
For further particulars call at depot.
MRs. A. G. BAKER, Agent.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
Illinois Picnic Preparation.

Preparations are making for large
gathering OF Illiuoisans upon the occa-
sion OF their annual picnic at Lakeside
August 9Th. Efforts are being made to
get some celebrated citizon OF Illinois to
m Ike the address, an = series Of games
and contests are being arranged. Prizes
will be- offered fer the o'dest entlmar, ,
an Illinoisan and also the oldest lady.
The association now has between five
and six hundred mrmbers, representing
about eighty out Of the one hundred
and two counties in the state. Last
year the date of holding tho annual pic
mic was fixed for the first Wednesday in
August OF each year, which this year,
comes on the 9th day Of the month.
The attempt will be made at this com
ing picnic to hold county reunions when
evtr possible. A great tiro is anticipa-
ed by the many suckers" in the county.
Press.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
When Homer Plays the Clarinet.
Dedicated to Prof, Homer Bayne, Clar.
met Soloist Of the Merchants
Marine Band, Of Jasper, Mo.

When Homer plays the clarinet!
He first removes his coat and vest
And then rolls up his sleeves and sets
His music rack where it suits him best,
When Homer plays the clarinet!
When Homer plays the clarinet!
His ma takes down her sun bonnet,
And she and Clara gets up and gets,
And his pa is far away you bet
When Homer plays the clarinet!
When Homer plays the clarinet!
Goes rompipg DER the sharps and flats,
Plays "Annio Rooney, and tunes like
that,
The neighbors then begin TO fret,
When Homer plays the clarinet!
When Homer plays the clarinet!
His cheeks get red and bis face gots wet
His nose is covered with coat OF sweat +,
And a |, ok OF agony on his face is set,
When Homer plays the clarinet!
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17

Whenever an honest trial is given to
Electric Bitters for any trouble it is re-
commended for permanent cure will
surely be effected. 1t never fails to tone
the stomach, regulate the kidneys and
bowels, stimulate the liver, inyigorate
the norves aud purify the blood. It'sn
wonderful tonic for rundown systems,
Electric Bitters positively cures Kidney
and Liver Troubles, Stomach Disorders
Nervousness, Rheumatism, Slceplessncss
Neuralgia, aud Gxpels Malaria. Salts.
faction guaranteed by Webb Bros. Only
30 cents.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
NEW GOOD ROADS PLAN.
Adopted By Farmers Living Near
Trenton,

The farmers living near Trenton have
adopted plan for making aud keeping
the country roads good, which is worthy
Of imitation, They met recently and
agreed that each man should care for
the road in front Of his own farm. The
suit has beer some remarkable inn
provement. The late Senator ingalls,,
OF Kansas, used to recall, for the benefit
Of his political enemies, that the streets
of Jerusalem were kept clean by each
householder sweeping before his own
door. II the farmers of Missouri should
adept this principle in the modified
form which has found favor in Grundy
county, no man would be called upon TO
do more than his fair share Of the work:
the ruthless road overseer, who with al
most criminal zeal, tears up the high
ways every fall, would be rendered
harmless; taxation would be reduced;
the value of farm land would be in
ere sed, and Missouri would sooh have
better roads than any other state The
plan is worthy more extensive trial
Kansas City Journal,
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
THE ALLIED PARTY.
Nominates a County Ticket by a
Referendum Vote.

The Allied party Of Jasper county has
completed the nomination Of its ticket
by referendum vote, and its commit.
tee on resolutions has finished the max
ing ola platform on which the nominee.
are to stand. Each nominee has signed
written pledge to stick to the ticket
and spurD all overtures for fusion. The
ticket nominated is as follows:
For State Senator 2sth Dist, Samuel
Montgomery, Joplin.
For Judge Circuit Div. No. 9, Horace
Merritt, joplin.
For Presiding Judge County Court,
David Allen, Carthage.
For Judge County Cou;t, East. Dist.
". G. MCGOWAN, Re, DIS.
For Judge County Court West. Dist,
q. w. Judd, Galena township.
For Representative Dist. No l, NJ. c.
Motley, Uni N township.
For Representative Dist. 9, Stephen
Smith, Alba.
For Representative Dist. No. 3, Mart
W. Clark, Joplin.
For Sheriff, Peter Gunther, Carter
Vile.
For Collector, II. E. VanDevcnter,
Ziucite.
For Prosecuting Attorney, Randall
Dryden, Carthage.
For Recorder, G. B. Miller, Oronogo.
For County Treasurer, Jno. p. Thorn.
as, Carthage,
For County Cl rk, II. o. Baker, JAS
per City.
For Circuit Clerk, ]. X. McCrorey,
Carthage.
For Probate judge, w. II. Salsman,
Ducnweg.
For Coroner, c. w. Carmack, Carter
vile.
For Public Administrator, James
UIch, Joplia.
The platform advocates the pr nciples
involved in the initiative and referen-
dun together with government owner
snip Of public utiliti's as the paramount
issue. IL denuunces the Democratic
State "riug" and touches on county
affairs Il, llows:
We denuunco the Office holding ma
chino Of Jasper county rs incompetent
and imbocilc, il not corrupt. 1t
$ currently believed that it
lets co acts for the expenditure Of
public money in violation of law. 1t
draws warrants upon the revenue funds
to pay illegal debts aud in excess Of ap.
prop. iaticns. 1t is indifferent to public
sentiment and does not enforce the laws.
1t protects gambling in the form OF
keno rooms, roulette tables, faro and all
other forms of gambling. 1t toleratos
aud protects opon saloons on Sunday.
and its Ieace officers tolerate and attend
slugging matches in open. disregard Of
their duty and in def nee Of common
docency.
We are opposed To the enforcement Of
the constitutional amendmCn Mt authoriz-
ing the levy OF a bridge tax, for the rea-
son that Jasper county has more bridges
than all other border counties from the
Arkansas line to the Missouri river and
the taxes authorized Independent Of the
amendment are sufficient to keep the
bridges already built, in repair and to
build such additional.once as are noed-
I'd.
Wesare opposed to fusion with any
party and will not support the can
didates for Office OF either the Republi-
can or Democratic parties.
Samuel Montgomery. j. F. Piercy, G
W. Judd, executive committee Jasper
county a llicd party.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17

Thos. l.. Brown James Herrod
Wm. McClintock Israel Wobb
W. X. Trenncr VIM, Weed
John Gardner VIM. Dixon
Henry File Ira Griffin
VIM. Pike Ed Griffin
Samuel Wine Allen Whitesel
Frank Cline David Teetcr
John Craudall Jacob Frick
Andy Bryant.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
WANTED.
Farmers and stoc men to try
IA sac of Crushed r. ock
Salt" at Boucher & Butts,
% A Man Lie To You

Aud say some other salve, ointment
lotion, oil or alleged healer is as good as
Bscklen's Arnica Salve, tell him thirty
years Of marvellous cures Of Piles, Burns
Boils, corns, Folons, Ulcers, cuts, Scalds
Bruises and Skin Eruptions prove it's
tho best and cheapest. 25c at Webb
Drug store.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17

Cream Separators.
We make and sell good Cream Sopa-
rators. Satisfaction guaranteed.
VIM Baynes.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17

To eradicate worms from the system
give the child plain, nourishing food aud
WHITES cREAh VERMuEUGE. The result
will be, the worms will disappear and the
child become healthy and cheerful,
Price % cts at +. |, Lauderbaugh DR. &
Store.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
THREE SCORE AND TEN.
Jasper has Quite a Number Who
Have Reached that Age.

That Jasper is place where the pco-
Pile live to n ripe I'D age is Cyicent
10y the large number Of ter citizens who
are getting well along in years. MIR. S.
b. Lawson has taken tho pains TO com
pile II list of old gentlemen who have
reached or passed their 10th mile stone.
T. q list is as follows;
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
dood Coffee.

Lovers Of Good Coffee Try can Of
our MACHATA OR FRUIr CAN BLESD and
you will want no other, only Doc.
Boucher aud BuLts.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17
Furniture and
Undertaking

lat all times am keeping nice line
Furniture, Wall Paper, Telescopes,
winow shades, Linolium and Oil cloths.
A fine line OF Ingram Carpets, samples
Brussels, Moquetts, and make piles Of
Picture Frames.
Also my Collins and Undertaker's
supples'are fine aud large line to pick
from. have robes and shoes, white
hose. have itaken a thorough course
ia Embalming and will take good care
of bodies ahd preserve them with fluid.
1 furnish Pictures enlarged and many
other things.
The Jasper news., 1902-07-17

r. w. Sheets has the best
rs boys shoe in town.
Give them Il trial.
Evening star., 1902-01-04
DIED.

hundreds OF cases pronounced to be Consumptjon
have been cured by Dr. u. Jayne's Expecforsnf
Evening star., 1902-01-04

and Mrs. Magrader. the Misses Evans.
miss Mills Mr. and Mrs. Walker Capt.
Harry Leonard, Col. Russell, Maj. LAUGH
elmer. Ensign Mannix OF the Dolphin.
Lieut.. Rixey, Mrs. McI.ain and Can't Reis-
niger.
Miss Edith Tupper entertained a number
OF her young friends at her residence. 500
North Carolina avenue southeast, Friday
evening, January 3. During the evening
many games were played. interspersed with
instrumental music. Later all repaired TO
the dining room, where a bountiful repast
was served. Among those present were
the Misses Madeline Atchison, Edna Dodge.
Edythe Lowry, Ethel Simmons, Lola Davis.
lrvel Shipley and Lillian Tupper, and
Messrs. Thomas Rice. Rip Oldham. VIII
liam Morton, Sslby Birch, Polly Burdyne,
Earle Tupper.
A pretty New Year eve wedding. which
took place in the Church OF the Transngu-
ration, New York, was that of Miss Marga-
ret Goertner Mack. daughter OF the late
Colonel Oscar Addison Mack, u. 3. A, to
Mr. William Ogden Harrison. son OF MT.
Jared F. Harrison. Invitations to the cere-
mony were general, while those to the re-
ception. which was held at the residence
of the brides brother-in-law and sister,
Mr.. and Mrs. William NJ CruIkshank. No.
800 West S0th street, were limited to rela-
tives and personal friends.
Mrs. Walter r. Hensey will be at home
Fridays, January 10 and IL.
Mr.. and Mrs. 2. f. o'Donnell entertained
a merry assemblage of friends at their res
idence. llG3 9Th street southwest, Wednes-
DAY evening last Music and dancing were
engaged In and refreshments were served.
Among those present were Mrs George
Smith, Mrs. James Ellerbrook, Miss Eller-
brook, Miss White, Misses Mamie and
Agnes o'Donnell, Mrs. George Stafford,
Miss Mcnamara, Miss Jennie Lewis Mrs.
Lewis, Miss Henderson. Mrs. James ODen-
nell ana Miss Rosa Bowen; Messrs George
Inr
and John o'Donnell, Robert King. Thos.
Holden, Harry Baines, Geo. Stafford and
Mr.. Armstrong
Mrs. Walter Hough will be at home Tues
days in January at 33os 14th street
Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas G. Alvord have re-
Gently bought the house 1855 Mintwood
place and have a most attractive home.
Mrs. Alvord had pleasant reception last
ihursday, and will again receive Thurs
day, January o.
The East End Euchre Club held its sew
enth meeting at the residence of Mr.. and
Mrs. f. Schelpp Thursday evening. The
nrst prizes were won by Mr.. and Mrs F.
Schelpp; second prizes. by Miss e. Holmes
and Mr. A. Boyce. boobies, by Mrs. o. I,itz
and Mr. w. Holmes. After playing re-
ireshments were served. The next meeting
Will be held at the home of Miss Ethel
Holmes, 20l1 Florida avenue northeast.
Thursday evening. January 16.
Mr. and Mrs. ]. NJ Richardson enter
tained number OF friends New Year night
at their residence, No. 5 II street,
IN honor OF the Misses Elizabeth Beaseley
ana Abble Herbert. Those matchmaking In
the evenings entertainment were Mrs Har-
~ thompson, Miss Elizabeth McKeyit.
MISS Garrick, MIR. p. NJ. Gotwell, Mr.. L. J.
Smith Mrs w. +. Lewis and Mr. Harry
Thompson of Philadelphia. Those nresent
We're Mrs J. B. Webb, Miss Zoe Hunter.
Mr.. and Mrs. T. ]. Smith, Misses Nellie and
CONTINUED ON Eighth Page)
Evening star., 1902-01-04

Continued on Eighth Page
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-01-09
jungle Talk.

"Hello! Where are you going?"
cried the lion as the fleet footed stag
dashed by him.
"Oh. Pm just travelling for my
health, " painted the stag. "Why do
you ask"
"My friend the tiger invited me to
participate in stag dinner party to-
day, and l was wondering ii you were
the party"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-01-09
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED

BY local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion OF the ear. There is only one
tiona remedies Deafness is caused by An in.
famed condition OF the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
deafness is the result and unless the infamma-
ton can be taken out and this tube restored to
its normal condition, hear ing will be destroyed
forever; nine cases out OF ten are caused by
catarrh, which is nothing but an intiamed
conditio on OF the mucous surfaces.
Wewill give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that can
not be cured by Hairs Catarrh Cure Send for
circulars, free.
Sold by Druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-01-09
Trustful in Some Things.

Brown-lt's curious about people S
beliefs. They will give entire Gre
dence to the most absurd things, and
put no faith whatever in the most
obvious truths.
Black - Yes, I've noticed it,.
There's Green, now. He hasn't the
least confidence in hash; but he'll eat
all the croquettes and mince pie that
you can set before him. Boston
Transcript.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-01-09

Then the defiant militant spirit
took possession OF the DEVOTED miss
ionary.
You think I'm a pudding," he
cried. I'll show you I am not -
The proof OF the pudding is in the
eating" rejoined the savage darkly.-
Detroit Free Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-01-09
A LAWYERS Witty Reply.

The Green Bag tells of lawyer
who was about to furnish a bill of
costs. 81 hope" said the client, who
was baker, that you will make it
as light as possible" "Ah," said
the lawyer, "you might perhaps say
that to the foreman of your establish
ment, but that is not the way make
my bread.