Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1902-06-19

is size Il pOllte girl NOT at all.
She finds it impossible to break herself
of the habit of telling the truth
He-Now. don't you bother to help me
on with my coat. She-It's no bother.
It's pleasure.-TOwn Topics.
Heredity. "Wot you dom, chlle:"
"Nothin'. nanny. MY, but you is
gittin' like yOoh father. baltimore
World.
Blobbs-"Wigwag must be making an
awful lot of money" Slobbs-"I should
say he is. l actually believe he is max
ing more than his wife can spend.".
Il believe Mrs. Hemlock would rather
quarrel with her husband than with
anybody else" Decidedly. Force al
ways seeks the line of least resistance"
Doctor-Did you take my prescrip-
ton, ma'am? Patient-Yes; but, say,
doctor. papers awful hard to get down,
an it didn't seem to do me no good
Chicago News
EmplOyer-And how long were you in
your last place, my good man? James
Just out of Folsom penitentiary)-Ten
years, sir. and never had single
evening Out.-Ex.
why, gentlemen" cried the after.
dinner speaker tragically, what would
this nation be without the ladies?"
Stag nation. of course" murmured the
Cheerful Idiot Judge.
Didn't you go away at all, Mrs.
Dash?" mo; Mr.. Dash said he was so
we'll fixed now that we could afford to
stay at home If we wanted to-so we
did."-Detroit Free Press.
He-I shall never marry until meet
Il woman who is my direct opposite.
She (encouragingly)-Well. Mr.. Duffer,
there are plenty of bright, intelligent
girls in the neighborhOOd.
A Guarantee and a Promise. do you
guarantee this goods not to fade:" Alb
solutely. And if it does we will sell
you new goods to match the changed
color. "-IndianapOlis News.
Not His Fault. do you realize" said
the economist, that there is a heavy
surplus in the United States Treasury"
well" answered Senator Sorghum, lit
amt my fault Washington Star
Newlywed-"Why don't you take
wife, Bachelor-"My income is only
sufficient for one" Newlywed-"Well
if she really loved you she would prob
ably be satisfied with that."-Puck.
Don't you miss you husband very
much now that he is away. "Oh. no!
At breakfast | just stand his newspaper
up in front of a plate and half the time
really forget he isn't there. Tx
change.
That is your husband rapping." an
nounced the medium in a solemn voice.
My husband rapping:" said the wild
ow, absently; gracious. he must have
forgotten his night-key Philadelphia
Record.
In His Favor. She-Papa says that
young man who smokes cigarettes will
never set the world on fire. He-Well.
that's the first good thing l ever heard
any one say of cigarette smoker
Yonkers Statesman.
Dr. Brown-"Well did you keep the
Thermometer in the room at 20 degrees.
as told yeu!' Mrs. Murphy-"I did.
to do it. The only place it would stay
at sivinty was fornist the chimney
piece. Life.
Poet was pleased to see my poem
L., 81,
Editor-Oh. no: we sha mt charge you
anything this time. 1t is your first Of
Tense, you know. If. however, it is re-
peated. we can not let you off again so
easily.-Boston Transcript.
Young Wife-'I received today
beautiful diploma from the cooking
school-on parchment-and I've cele-
brated by making you this dish. Now,
Just guess what it is" Young Hus-
band chewing on his burnt omeleu-
THE diploma: "-Fliegende Batter.
Manoeuvers. Lieutenant Nobs dust
arrivPd-IIow long will you take to
drive me to the fort. cabby: Cabby-
Ten minues, capting. by the short cut
allus goes the long way round through
the fashionable part o the town. yer
honor. which takes an hour. Wabby
gets his hour Punch.
"'Cordn t tn statoots." began Judge
Wayback as he stood up. I'll hev Z
Civ v ten years t TIL pennytenchurry.
But" exclaimed the lawyer for the de-
PENDANT. jumping to his feet. there are
eXtenuating circumstances. They isl"
cried the judge in alarm. EFF thought
tibet. burned if | wouldn't Civ him df
teen years. columbus journal.
There my dear" said the returned
hunter, there's one bird for you. any
way Bagged him just as was about
to give up in disgust" "Oh. George"
she exclaimed. Its Il carrier-pigeon.
isn't it:' Not much. Its a quail"
But it has a card tied to its leg. with
some message on it. Let's see 1t says:
John Jones. Poultry and Game. Cen
trail Market "-Philadelphia Press.
The doctor examined his patient care