The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-12-30
BY GEORGE ABE.
Author of the Girl Proposition.

Full TOBIAS AND SOME OF HIS
HAPPY NEW YEARS.
Copyright. 1902. by Robert Howard
Russell.)
Once there was a Financial Heavy
Weight, the Mile-Stones Of whose busy
Life were strung back across the Val
ley OF Tribulation into the Green Fields
Of Childhood.
Like most of our Aristocrats. he got
his Start out among the Corn-Rows.
His Youth was spent very happily
but he did not get onto the Fact until
Years later. He used to work IA Hours
Der for his Board and Clothes and his
only Dissipation was to take in the
Swiss BeI1-Ringers once every season.
At the Close Of every Year he was
permitted to attend a Watch-Meeting
at the Mt. Zion Church. The Watch
Meeting is a form of Gaiety invented a
long time ago by some one who was
not feeling well at the Time.
The Bunch was supposed to SIT for
three or four Hours on the hard Benches
meditating on all the ~low-down, orner
fh1ngS trey had done during the Old
Year. Some of them IA to hurry In
order to crowd this Line of Meditation
into a brief four Hours.
Now and then a local High-Guy with
Throat Whiskers would arise and talk
for a short time on the subject of
Death and wonder how many of those
present would be taken in by the Grim
Reaper during the New FEAR.
Just at Midnight the Sexton would
Toll the Bell so as to cheer every one
up. Then each of the Merry-Makers
would 20 home and eat a Piece of
Nince' Pie and a Belle Flower Apple
and retreat to the Feathers, feeling a
little Ashamed for having stayed UP so
Late.
Later On, after Tobias moved into
Town n began to wear Store Clothes
and Stand-Up Collars and put Oil on
his Hair, he another Kind
of New Years Day.
The Era was that of the Open House.
All the Women received and the Men
went over the entire Circuit and traded
job-printed Cards for something to Eat
and Drink.
This made it Fine for those who were
not ordinarily invited into the Best
Homes.
The Men roamed about in F1ocks and
usually they had a Hard Finish for 1t
was customary in those good old Days
of Democratic Simplicity for every True
Gentleman to take a Drink when it was
proffered by the Hand of Lovely
Woman.
And Lovely Woman seemed to regard
It as her Assignment to put all of the
Nice Young Fellows 70 the Bad.
1t was customary TO mix Tea, Coffee.
Sherbet. Lemonade. Egg-Noge. Arti-
lerv Punch, Fizzerine and Straight
God until the Happy New Year look
ed like a scrambled Rainbow and the
last Caller was SoZZled
Fob used to go out every New Years
Day to meet the Good-Lookers and fuss
around with them. for those were his
Salad Days. He made it a Combination
Salad and philandered with about
Seven before he took the Big Risk and
bought a Home with a Mortgage At
tachment and settled down.
Then the Happy New Year began .
have an entirely new Meaning.
He drew a Red Mark round Jan.
LIST. for that was the Day when he had
t0 make the Books balance and take
up some big Note that was hanging
over him like a Storm Cloud.
His usual Plan for celebrating the
Hs--- New Year was to sit in his Of
flee figuring on how to trim the Pay
Roll and sneak up Selling-Prices and
keep out OF the Sheriff's Hands for an
other Twelve Months.
But the Time came when Tobi"s
could take out a Pencil on Dec. 31st
and compute a Net Profit big enough
to fill q Furniture Van.
To al Intents n Purposes he 80
come to the High Ground where 10
could afford to sit down for awhile "nd
enjoy the Scenery.
He certainly possessed all the Access
SORES of a Happy New Year.
He had a Bank Roll and a House -
the Boulevard and a Wife who was
slowly but surely worming her Way
into Society.
He he'd a Son attending a hieh-priced
University and gradually accommodating
- -
was at School which used the French
Novel as a Text Book.
So. after all these Years OF Strug-
gilt Tobias knew what it was to have
a genuinely Happy New Year,
For when the Children came Home
for the Holiday Vacation the busy Mrs.
Tobias save a big Dancing P"~ty on
New Years Eve, to say nothing - a
couple of Luncheons and a Fo---~'
Dinner.
At these glittering Functions the
Family did what it could to keep To-
bias in the Background. for while he was
a Corker when it ann to doing y 49,
tain Pen Speciality with a Check-Book.
he was a Frosted Turnip when chucked
into a Suit costing 500. and put down
in n Marie Antoinette Apartment with
a lot of Chaunceys who had been edu-
Gated in the East.
He celebrated the Glad New Year nv
GIaH01TlS dTOuIiu III " ways ohu
looking mournfully at the Liehr-
Weights who were doing the Cotillion
and each of them having the Time OF
his Life.
He saw his Wife hob-nobbing with a
Human Pickerel whose only Excuse
for being on Earth was that he looked
well in Evening Clothes.
Daughter was dancing with a lovely
Speciman OF the night-blooming Roun-
der and Son was passing the Cigarettes.
And no one was paying any Attention
to the vi
So he made a quiet Retreat To MS own
Room and had a Glass of Milk sent up
and read the Market Report and man.
aged to put In a Pleasant Evening after
aIl. seeing the Old One out and the New
One In.
MORAL: One New Year Is JUST
about as Happy as another.
More Conscience Fund Money.
Washington, December 27.-The treas
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