Evening journal., 1902-05-20
STORIES FROM
HERE AND THERE

An attache of one Of the legations
10 Pekin at the time when two CONT
nents were in a high state of tension
was a guest at the Army and Navy
Club in New York few evenings since.
Il had OCCASION" he said. TO meet. Ii
Hung Chang, who, despite the heavy
suspense overhanging his country,
seemed TO be to us painfully cheerful.
One of the party present, a man in
authority, referred TO LIS merriment.
The interpreter mentioned it to mis-
master who requested him to make the
most beautiful reply ! ever heard. Tell
him. said the interpreter, quoting his
MASTER that the Chinese have a prov
erb which l commend to all in all con-
ditions: You cannot prevent birds Of
sorrow flying over your head; but you
can keep them from stopping and
building nests in your hair. l imme-
diately wrote it down, so | know the
quotation is correct."
A gentleman going down the river
on a steamer, the engine of which was
upon the deck. sauntered to see the
working of the machinery. Near him
stood a man apparently bent upon the
same object. In a few moments a
squeaking noise was heard on the op-
posite side Of the engine.
Selling an oil can. a gigantic one,
by the way, the engineer sought out the
dry spot and, to prevent further noise
of that kind. literally applied the con-
tents of the can to every joint.
All went on well for a while, when
The squeaking was heard in another di-
rectiOn. The oiling process was re-
peated and quiet restored; but as the
engineer was coming quietly towards
the spot occupied by the gentleman
and the stranger he heard another
squeak. This time, however, he de-
tected the true cause of the difficulty.
The stranger was a ventriloquist.
Walking straight up behind him, he
seized the astOnished joker by the nape
of the neck and emptied the contents
of the can down his back
"Therei" said he, 81 don't believe
THAT engine will squeak again"
Missionaries in India eneouter nc
little difficulty in explaining the teach
ings of Christianity so that the natives
most beautiful passages of the Bible
are rendered almost ludicrous by trans.
lation. A returned missionary tells oi
the efforts of a young HindOO Bible
student to render
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee,
into the native dialect. The result ol
his laIbors, translRted back into Eng
lish, was about like this:
Very old stone, split for my benefit,
Let me absent myself under one o.
your fragments.
Buffalo Commercial.
A story comes from Kansas Of ;
man who wanted to tell a neighbo
what he thought Of him without lay
Ing himself open to a suit for damages
So he nat on the plan OF sending hin
\ each day a postal card with only on
word written on IL in a large hand, il
addition to the date obscurely tucke
away I'm a corner. The person receiN
ing the cards recognized the handwrit
ing. and suspecting something, kep
them until they stopped coming, whe
he read them consecutively In the OF
der OF nelr feceplOn. what Nc ltt
3 was, Ridiculous old Bill Jones is tn
} meanest cuss in town" and he at ono
+ instituted a suit for slander against th
{ sender. The latter's lawyer, however
e called attention to the fact that th
= postal card containing ridiculous,
Al though mailed first was date
the day after the date of tn
. card having the word town.
. Moreover a careful inspection woul
show THAT after the word ridiculous
was an exclamation point, and att
p the word town" was an interrogatio
mark. so that the series Of postal care
might be made to read, "Old Bi
Jones is the meanest cuss in town
Ridiculous!" He claimed therefor
that instead of slandering the plaint
his client had defended him fro
- slander, and This plea was sustained
p the court. But, all the same, ever
d body in town insisted that the fir
= reading Of the cards was the CORE
q one. so that the writer attained h
Is object.