Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-09-18
9ooa1 @ottiings

noon.
Adam Schmittges is absent on a
trip to Erwin, S. D.
John Meyers of Chamberlain,
S. D., is a guest of JAS. Blewitt and
family.
Mr.. and Mrs. Irwin Whaley of
Milwaukee are guests of F. G. Burr
and family.
-Fifty-two tickets were sold at
this station Sunday morning on the
Whitefsh Bay excursion.
Ninety persons find employ
ment at the Dodgeville canning fac
tory. Lancaster needs such an IN
dustry.
An Iowa man had 81 warts on
his hand which were removed by a
woman talking them off, I" says an
Iowa exchange. Well, what of it?
There is a woman in Lancaster that
can talk the whole arm or leg off.
She can talk you into a comatose
condition until you smell varnish
and cut flowers, see visions of floral
''gates ajar, and hear the dull thud
of earth clods on the box cover
above your remains. She will talk
to you until the rumbling of hearse
wheels and rattle of glass is a real
ity. Remove warts, well yes, or
stone bruises, corns, ingrowing toe
nails, tape worm, superfuous hair,
cross eyes, goitre, reel-foot or water
brash. Warts are dead easy.
advertisements in the Herald
are read because they are well writ
ten, are set artistically and are well
printed. All such advertisements
pay.
In her "card of thanks" a Mi
ami county (Kas.) widow, after
thanking everybody else, concluded:
II also thank the band for it's con-
soling music and Mrs Avering, the
milliner, who furnished me such be-
coming mourning My dear hus-
bands farm is for sale as soon as
proper legal steps can be taken and
will be sold at bargain. Oh,
death, thou art terrible"
Every town has Liar, spong-
er, a smart alec, it's richest man,
some pretty girls, a weather prophet,
a neighbOrhood feud half dozen
lunatics, woman who tattles, a
justice of the peace, man who
knows it all, a JackSOnian Demo-
GRAFT, more loafers than it needs,
men who see every dog fight, boy
who cuts up in church, a few med
dlesOme old women, a thing" that
stares at women, a widower who is
too gay for his age, a few who know
how to run the affairs of the coun-
try, a grown young man who laughs
every time he says anything, a girl
who goes to the postofice every time
the mail comes in, legion of smart
alecs who can tell the editor how to
run his paper, scores of men with
the caboose of their trousers worn
smooth as glass, a man who grins
when you talk and laughs out loud
after he cas said 0mething, so don't
think that Lancaster is the only
town on earth of this character as
there are others
A Michigan judge has in his
possession the following letter sent
to him by an olt farmer who had
been notified that he had been drawn
as Juror for a certain term of
court: Dear Judge I got your let
ter tellin' me to come to Manchester
and do dooty on the joory an I
write you these fue lines to let you
know that you'll have to get some
one else for it amt SO I kin leave
home now. I got to do som buch-
erin and sort over a lot of apples
just about the time the joory. will
be settin' in your count ST Jack
man of this town says that he would
as soon as not go for he amt got
nothin' else to do jess now, so you
better send fer him. I hate the
worst way not to oblige you but it
amt SO kin at present. Ennyhow
/ amt much on the law never havin'
been joory man 'ceptin' when Old
Bud Stiles got killed by the cars
here some years ago when I was
one that set on the boldly with the
koroner. So you better send for ST
Jackman for he has just got some
kin in Manchester he wants to visit
ennyhow an he'd be willin' to go
for his car fare there an back. An
Ger back if you want ST."