Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1902-01-30

with an air of polite curiosity, what
relations he to tn impror iv Germany!
Is he tn son or tn nevvew?'
Hes nayther," said Mr.. Dooley.
9TH impror has no sons that tVer
heerd iv. If he had a son he'd be a
steam milne. No. sir, this man Is tn
impror's brother Hinnery or Hans l
don't exactly know what tn usual
jooties iv an impror's brother is. l
know what an impror has to do. His
wH1rruk's cut out FIR him. 1 cud NIL tn
Job mesilf to me own satisfaction an
tn on'y wan an impror has to Place is
himsilf. TIL German impror frequent
" mintions another but On'y in tn
way iv politeness. Tknow what an i'm
pror's jooties is but l don't know what
an impror's brother has to do ex OF
ficio, as Hogan says. But this boy
Hinnery or Hans has more Wurruk
thin a BARTENDER in a prohibition town.
He's a kind iv a thravellin' agent
tn big la-ad. His bag is ready packed
ivry night, he sleeps like fireman
with his pants in his boots beside ms
bed an they'se a thrap dure alongside
tn cradle FIR him to slide down to IN
first fiure. He's no more thin GOT 10
sleep whin tn three ilivens SOUNDS on
tn gong. In Hinnery leaps to tn pam
falcons, down tn laddhor he goes pull
in his suspinders with wan hand an
putin on his hat with tn other an
off he is FIR Corea or Chiny or Bool-
oochistan at a galluop. His oroNheI
stands at tn dure an hollers fafeWeil
to him. GO Hinnery!' he says. CO.
me dear brother, to tn land Nv per-
petchool sunshine. an knockin tn mans
FIR to hang up tn German armor. ne
says. Knock in tn nails an II ye
happen to hit ye'ersilf on tn tnuno,
swear on'y be tn German Mike an
raymimber We done it f'r me- ne says;
L will remain at home an conthrol IN
rest iv tn wurruld with tn assistance
iv that German Providence that has
been as kind to us as we desarVe an
that we look up to as our akel' ne
saws. An Hinnery goes away. he
thravels Ger land an sea, be hre an
flood an field. He's tn ginooylne ny
in Dutchman. His home is in MS nat.
He hasn't slept all night in a bed TT
tin wears. IT'S Hinnery this an HIN
merry that: Hinnery up Nile an HIM
merry to Injy; Hinnery here an HIM
merry there. TIL cuffs Nv his shirt Is
made Nv tn time cards Nv railroads:
Ivry time they'se change in scheoooi
he orders new shirts. He knows IN
right iv way firm Berlin to Bally-
guages an ivrywhere he goes, ne
makes a frind or an inimy which is tn
same thing TO tn Germans. He carries
a samDle case undher wan arm an
gun undher tn other an IL We DON
like Rhine wine perhaps yen take
lead. On sicond considerations ne
won't shoot We but he'll sell We IN
Krupp. They'se more where 1t come
firm.
II tell We. HInnissy, this Impror or
Kaiser iv Germany is smart man. l
used to think twas not so. L thought
he had things unaisy IN his Wheol
house. l mind whin he got IN 1ob'
ivrywan says: Look out f'r war.
This wild man will be in that office fr
about a year whin he'll just about de-
clare fight with tn wurrld.' An ivry-
body framed up FIR him. But look We
what happened. IT'S twinty year since
he was swore in an ne'er a fight has
he had Ivrybody- else has been IN
throuble. A screw-maker iv sidin-
tory life as ploonged England into
war. me frinds tn Greeks that were
considered about akel to a flush Nv
anger over a raid on a push cart mas
mixed it up with tn Turks, tn Japs
has been at war, an tn Dagoes, our
own peace-lovin' nation has been run
mn wan SHUT dAA wan "N@%f
an aven tn Chinese has got their
dandher up. be hivens. but Willum, tn
Middleweight Champion, Willum tn
Potsdam Game Chicken, Willum, tn
,nterdenlinden Cyclone, Willum has
been ladin' tn cam an prosperous life
iv a delicatessen dealer undher turn
er hall. He's had no fights. He niver
will have amy fights. He'll go to his
grave with tn reputation Nv neither
winnin' nor losin' battle but Nv takin'
down more 'forfeits thin amy impror
pugilist Nv our time.
What do 1 make iv him? Well, sir,
/ think he's not a fighter, but a fight
lover Did we liver see wan iv thin
young men that always has a front
seat at a scrap so near tn ring that
whin tn second blows tn wather he
gets what left ON his shirt front?
Well. that's me frind Willum. He is
a pathron iv spoort an not a sport.
His ideel is war, but he's a practical
man. He has a season ticket to tn
matches, but he niver will put on tn
gloves He's in tn sportin goods bust
ness an he usu'lly gets a PERCENTAGE iv
TIL gate receipts. If he sees two ma
lions bellowin' at each other tn as
surances iv their distinguished con-
sidheration. he says: Boys, get to-
gether. IT'S a good match. Ye're both
afraid. Go in, uncle; go in, Boer.' He
is all around tn ringside, encouragin'
both sides. Stand up again him there.
Paul; rassle him to tn fure. Good FIR
We. uncle. A thrifle low that wan, but
all fair in war. Dehnd ye'er indipin-
dance. noble sons Nv Teutonic blood.
Exercise ye'er sovereign rights, me
English frinds. If wan or tn other be-
gins to weaken tn first bottle through
tn rODes is WillumS. If annyWan
suggests dhraw he demands his
money back Nawthin' but fight to
a finish will do him. If ayether with.
contestants Is alive in tn ring at tn
end he congrathulates him an asks
him if he heerd that German cheer in
tn las round.
"Ob. he's good. He'll do all right,
that German man. In high di-plo-
macy he's what in low diplomacy wud
be called a happy jollyer- But he
knows that If a mans always slappin'
We on tn back We begin to think he's
weak; so he first shakes his fist
undher ye'er nose an thin slaps We on
III back. Sometimes he does both at
tn same time An he's got tn thrue
iolIier's way iv provin' to We that he's
ve'er frind alone an tn deadly inimy
Nv all others. He's got tn Car Nv
Roosha hypnOtized. tn King iv Eng
land Rugged to a standstill, an tn
Impror iv Chiny in tears. An he's
made thin all think tn first thing
annywan knows he'll haul on an
swing on wan iv tn others.
so. havin' fixed ivrything up in Eu-
rome, he cast his eyes on this country,
an saws he: L think I'll have to daz-
zle thin furriners somewhat. They We
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