davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
GOOD EXAMPLES OF IRISH WIT
They Are Told ~ Kerry Man In che

They Are Told by . Kerry Man In the
London spectator.
The late Lord Morris was full OF le-
gal stories, but the following did not
belong to his budget: A case of as
sault came before a Kerry court. In
the course of it the counsel for the
defense, when examining witness for
the prosecution, asked: And you
say the man who assaulted you is
blind, or is as good as blind?" Yes,
sir" 'Then how came he to get into
the scrimmage?" well, counsellor, 1t
wor this way. Wherever he heard the
blows goin' he slipped in. feelin' for
a vacancy, and when he found it, he
let fly like good wan"
But you said just now that there
was storm of thunder and lightning
yer honor" Then l suppose it got
Garker and darker" "Thrue for you,
counsellor!" And you say this man
was nearly blind; surely the darkness
would have made him quite sou Not
at all, sir. Contrariwise, every time
fash of lightnin' come he shthruck
out and hit me in the eye" 'It was
raining, too. l SUPPOSE ut was so.
sir!" Perhaps. then. as you are so
exact, you'll tell the gentlemen OF the
jury the size of the drops of rain" Il
will thin; to the best OF me rec'llec-
ton they varied in size from shilling
to eighteenpence!"
This hazy view of the size of drops
Of rain is somewhat suggestive of a
drop too much of another sort, and
reminds me of another whose absurd
ity is due to the provision of a drop
too little, OF, rather, a drop OF the
wrong sort. A priest who is a total
abstainer was expecting his cousin, a
Dublin solicitor, on visit. and know
ing that he did not hold the same
views as himself on the drink Ques-
ton, went to the village grocer and
ordered a bottle of port. This was
duly delivered and decanted by his
rev~ence.
At dinner time he Hospitality poured
out a glass and said: There, Cousin
Tom that's the best vintage Bally-
poreen affords" The solicitor slipped it
critically, and then said: Well Cou-
sin Cornelius, to my mind it tastes a
wee bit too much of the musheruins
(mushrooms). 1t proved to be ket-
chup.
AS am on the drink question, let
me wind up my string of Irish stories
by saying that while there are several
well-kncwn humorous recipes for mix
ing a good glass of punch. no apology
is needed for adding the following to
the number: Mix the materials in
equal portions-half whiskey and the
other half whiskey and water"
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
breaches IN SLEEP.
SOUTH CAROLINA col 0RED MAN A
PSYCHOL OGICAL MARVEL.
IHiterpte Mulateo Delivers Logical and
Forceful DIscourses While Apparently
Sound Asleep-ImpossIb!s to Awaken
Him.

Major Perry is an illiterate mulatto,
forty-five years old, living in Salinda
county, S. c. When a young man he
says he felt call to preach, but dis
regarded it. He seldom goes to church
and is not religiously inclined. About
ten years ago, his wife says, Perry
began to preach in his sleep. Sermons
became more frequent, until he now
breaches five or six times a week. He
goes to bed about o'clock, and with
in an hour begins to preach. He first
announces his text, chapter and verse
in the Bible correctly. after which he
reads the text, always just as it is in
the book. He then Zines out and
sings a hymn and prays, after which
the sermon begins. Perry's sermons
are declared by white men who have
heard him to be better than the av-
erage negro preacher. He is gramma-
teal and logical and he talks from for
ty-five minutes to one hour in deliver
ing discourse.
Sometimes in the delivery of the SER
mon the muscles of the body, espec-
tally of the arms and neck contract,
producing cateleptic condition. This
stops the sermon. The attack lasts
minute or two. and is usually driven
away by his wife, who rubs the mus
Giles. When the tendency to catalepsy
is gone he resumes his discourse, be-
ginning exactly where he left off, even
though he was in the middle Of sem
tence.
At certain time each summsr Perry
holds protracted services. sometimes
getting pretty loud" characteristic
of his race. At these special times he
delivers two sermons and invites
mourners to come up to the altar. He
takes a short recess between these SER
mons.
Perry cannot be convinced that he
breaches in his sleep. The best class
OF white citizens visit his house in
the evening and physicians have vain
ly endeavored to awaken him while in
his abnormal state. They have pierced
his muscles with needles, and even
burned cotton between his toes, but
without success. The burns cause
great pain when he regains conscious
ness and he is easily awakened after
ending his sermon.
During the time Perry is preaching
it is an impossibility to stop him. He
has on several occasions gone to
church. fallen into a sleep or trance
and Interrupted the service by begin
ming to preach. forcing the preacher in
the pulpit to desist.
People who know most about the
negro declare him psychological mar
vel and deserving of scientific inves-
tigation. The negroes are divided in
their views. Some think Perry is be-
ing punished for not obeying the cali
to preach when young; others that his
power comes from the evil one, and
that he has been "conjured." Others
think he is fakir and is really
awake all the time he breaches and
only feigns to be asleep.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
HOW TWO ARTISTS SPEND MONEY
Rsrnhardt and Calve Find Ways to
suuander Their Incomes

sauander Their Incomes
Sarah Bernhard has her own ideas
Of extravaganza. and translucent one
upon economy. She f1outs the spend
thrift fancy of Emma Calve, who is
one of Sarah's ardent admirers and
friends, because Calve rushes to the
mountains and green wales of the south
of France as soon as the duty and
pleasure of bowling to plaudits releases
her to pastoral existence.
You spend all your fortune says
Sarah. who is never out of debt, run
ming big farms and ranches, waste
your time shooting birds, herding cat
tie and driving sheep. Bah. You
should be rich, but have nothing but
COWS and veal and pigs and tax-eating
lands
So lectures Sarah, and she fills her
dollhouse palace IN Paris with f.500
worth of flowers a day and is regu-
larly sold up every spring, no matter
how much money she makes.
Calve says she was intended for a
shepherdess All summer she is lost in
the Businesses of an inaccessible noun
tain over which roam hundreds OF
Calves bleating lambs and ewes,
which she herself follows in watch
day and night. She rides like a man.
shoots and really enjoys life to its
heartiest extent and comes back to
new triumphs with fresh vitality and
glad eyes.
Sarah keeps herself under lock and
key. but in the house on high rocks
inaccessible. to be sure, and barren OF
green or living things. After all, she
would rather be in Paris, and does
not stay away long.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
IRONING A SHIRT WAIST.

Not infreQuent1y young woman
finds 1t necessary to launder shirt
waist at home for. some emergency
when the laundryman OF the home SER
want cannot do it. Hence these direc-
tons for ironing the waist: To iron
summer shirt waists so that they will
look like new 1t is needful to have
them starched evenly with Defiance
starch, then made perfectly smooth
and rolled tight in damp cloth. to n
laid away two or three hours. Who
ironing have q bowl of water and
clean piece Of muslin beside the irq
ing board. Have your iron hot.
not sufficiently SO to scorch, and abb
lutely clean. Begin by ironing
back, then the front. sides and d
sleeves, followed by the neck band ar
the cuffs. When wrinkles appear al
ply the damp cloth and remove theL
Always iron from the top of the wal
to the bottom. If there are plaits
the front iron them downward. aft
first raising each enc with q bll
knife. and with the edge of the
follow every line of stitching to Civ
distfnctness. After the shirt watse
ironed 1t should be well aired by
FIRE or in the sun before 1t IL fold
and put away, says the PhiladelpN
Inquirer.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN "oLD FOOL
Man Who Married Third Wife. Says, I'm
Happy and That's Enough for Mo"

Man Who Married Third wife. Says, "l'm
Happy and That's Enough for Mo-"
JudSon w. Oliver, who in his 10th
year was married for the third time,
and who has been connected with the
SomerviIle police department thirty
years. is as clipper as a young
bridegroom.
He appeared at the police station at
roll call. with a box of cigars which
had been made by his bride. who like
wise embarked with 'Jud' in her
third matrimonial venture.
The cigars went around with the
rapidity of hot cakes" and the gath
ering of 80 lpatrolmen called on the
bridegroom for a speech. He accom-
modated them in a somewhat inter
esting manner.
Il was born among the rocks and
rills of Maiden" quoth he. My
grandfather lies buried in the Maiden
cemetery, surrounded by four wives.
My father is there surrounded by two
wives. Last night l took unto myself
q third wife and who knows but
may have a fourth?
Some have called me fool. some
an old fool and some a d old fool.
I'm happy. and that's enough for me. ''
Oliver was given three cheers and
declared to be all right.-Boston Jour
nal
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
Ancient Temple Discovered,

DR.. Sieglin, professor of ancient his
tory at the University of Berlin, has
discovered during his recent tour OF
southern Spain what is probably the
oldest temple of the ancient rivers Cd
ial and Rio Tinto, near Huelva. The
temple was Dedicated to the Goddess
of the Lower World and is connected
with two caves. which are filled with
debris.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
Fishermen Senator's

Senators Proctor and Frye are ia
nous fishermen. For thirty years
Senator Proctor has been in Vermont
on the last night of April with fishing
tackle ready, and for thirty years at
sun-up on the first of May he has be-
gun casting for speckled trout. He
was there this year.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
eRlcHr.s DISEASE cUREn.

suffered from kidney trouble,
which finally became SO aggravating
that 1 was obliged to give up my posi-
ton which was paying me 500 per
month, and 1 came to the city for
treatment. but after several months I
was worse instead of better. I was al
vised of Smiths Sure Kidney Cure and
I bought a bottle, and I am now so
well that / shall return to take a bet
ter position. Ny cure regard as all
most miraculous. Ny wife was also
suffering, and she has been taking
your medicine for a short time. and IL
50 much improved that she already re-
CARDS a cure for her as certain.
J. H. WRIGHT, Clarksdale, Miss.
Price SO cents. For sale by all drug
E1stA>
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A new weekly paper IN Alahana %
called the Hillbilly Herald. and it,
motto is thus announced:. Dimmy.
crat in Principull; Again the Railroads
and Revenoos; A Free Ballot and =
Fair Count; Wildcat Liquor and Free
Terbacker."
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The beef trust alleges that its sales
have fallen off 81 pee cent. But it
need not expect the public to pass
around the hat and take up a col
lection for it. Our sympathies are
not to be played upon.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The coronation ceremonies OF Eng
lands king are going to prove Sc
we're hardship for the peeresses. These
poor, hard-worked women will have
to get up long before daylight in order
to he dressed in time for the cere,
monies.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

King Edward will distribute 10000
medals during the coronation eXer-
cises. This will make them so COM
mon that the BARRIERS can afford to
throw ctle in with every shave and
haircut
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The opera nightingales who are now
leaving our shores, declaring they will
never return, seem to be already re-
considering their unalterable determI
nation. There is too strong a nauurar
affinity between their silver Threats
and our golden notes to be resisted.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The valued Baltimore American
says: The snake stories have start
ed well. They average six feet in
length and are all as thick as man s
wrist" At that rate they may be
called noveIettes.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Now it is Germany that fears 1t
cannot stand for American jockeys be-
cause they put new ideas into the
heads of the stable owners. Europe
finds that the American jockey is an
acquired taste
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

One of the popular romance writer's
has undertaken the difficult task OF
converting Aaron Burr into a digni
fed, law-abiding and peace-loving pat
riot
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The San Jose scale is to be met,
charged, and conquered by Chinese
ladybugs imported for this purpose.
whes we find it necessary to extermi-
nate the Chinese ladybugs we will
impert something from Japan.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Your Money Refunded
II eoArEs's PILl CURE fails to cure you. AIR
druggists. SAMPLE FREE by HOME HEAEDY
CO., HOUSTON, Tn1As.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A coal strike in the summer would
not be so bad if We were not reason
ably sure that we will need to burn
some anthracite next winter.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is a constitutional cure. Price, 75c.

The biggest pump in the world is
used in an American zinc mine at
Fieldensville. 1t pumps 10000 gallons
a minute, or 30.0oO.0O0 day. and uses
over ton of coal an hour.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

There is something wrong in the
adjustment of things if it is true. as
reported, that enough food is wasted
in Argentina annually to feed dozen
starving Russian provinces.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Women seem to make pretty good
lawyers. Two of them have sued a
wealthy woman client for bills of over
So 900 each.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

1t must be hard heart that feels
anything but sympathy for the poor
little boy King of Spain.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A $40 bill will do fellow in hard
luck more good than an Il told yoo
so" sermon.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

IT would be a good idea to have the
cruiser Chicago do it's sailing in wa
tiers where the police understand the
language of it's tarS.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Iowa need not think it at all neces-
ssry to compete with Texas as a rails
err of early spring tornadoes.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

lam sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago-Mrs. THos. RoRBiNs
Maple Street, Norwich. N Y, Feb. IL, 1900.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Don't Ruin Your stomach.
Eat ATLAS OATS and you will never
Be- troubled with Indigestion or dyspepsia.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Russell Sage thinks some men are
not fit to have money. That is why
Uncle Russell has devoted his whole
life to the benevolent work of taking
it away from them.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The contention that after all Kan
S;.s City girls have the biggest feet is
hotly resented by Chicago.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

$50 WEEK AND EXPENSES
co men with rig TO introduce our Poultry goods
Send stp. Javelle Mfg. CO. Dept. o, Parsons, Kan.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

War is not only what General Sher-
man said it was, but it is expensive.
Is it not. J. B.?
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A Louisville court has awarded a
woman one cent for hug that was
administered against her will. The
supply must exceed the demand in
Kentucky.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Most every woman listens for the
silken rustic when she walks past an
other woman.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A sporty woman Is good sport
when she's after the other fellows
wife
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Madam Calve says her voice cannot
stand our climate. And yet with all
due regard to the lady, we really must
decline to enter into any agreem sat
to change it.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The Western railroad that carried
c>.tle for 1OS hours without food or
water deserved to be fined more than
SlCO.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The real sporty" person is perhaps
lac man who has ping-pong ankle, =
Sof-stick shoulder and baseball eye.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The golden calf was cheap article
in comparison with what the ordinary
carcass Of veal is likely to be if thinga
don't change for the better soon.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Mr.. Edison very kindly informs the
other inventors just how he would
build an airship if he had time.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

David Robinson. a gifted Boston
bootblack, is to be sent to Paris TO
study music. He hopes to shine in q
new field.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A genius is man who is able to
dispose of his troubles for a consider
alton.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

FITS Permanently Cured. Ats nervousness after
arxf day,s use of Elines Great Nerve Restorer-
osud tor FREE $500 trial bottle and treasisa.
- r H. KLINE, Ltd S3I Arch st.. Philadelphia, Pa
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The next war of any consequence.
according to the scientists. will be be-
tween the San Jose scale and the
Chinese lady bug.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

woman jumps at a conclusion and
wins; a man hesitates and loses.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Variety is the spice of life. and vice
is the cayenne pepper.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

BE BEAUTIFUL = furitana Cream remoyes
freckles all skin discolorations IL the bess
face bleach known. Send 10 cents in Stamps fex
n sample. A. L. k{ESLING, Houston, Texas
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

In the Punjab the deaths from
plague now average nearly 10000
monthly. The squirrels at Hassan,
Mysore. caught the disease and have
been completely wiped out.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Pride makes some people ridiculous
and prevents others from becoming
SO.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

You can't serve Love ON half-shell ;
1t must be a full course.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Possibly the man who went crazy
over ping pong didn't have far to go
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

A wifes Mysteries never kept a man
from a horse race or a game of foot
ball.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Try me just once and l am sure to
come again. Defiance Starch.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Make a companion of vice and you
will soon become its slave.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Paradoxical though it may seem,
It is hard to to touch q close man.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

The tastes of a millionaire are often
imprisoned in pauper's purse.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
INSIST ON GETTING 1T.

Some grocers say they don't keep De-
hence Starch because they have a stock
In hand of IL OF. brands, which they know
cannot be sold to a customer who has
once used the 16 OF. pkg. Defiance starch
for same money.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Stops the Cough and
Works OFF the Cold
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price Sss-
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup
For children teething softens the gums reduces IN
allays pain cures wind eofic 25c bottle
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14
AT sHAKEsPF.RE's HOME.

1T am finishing . of Europe; the best thing,
I've had over hoe IL box of Terterine brought
here from home. &C H. Mcconnell. Mgr. Economi-
cal Drug Co.. of Chicago Ill. Tetterine cures itch
ing skin troubles; Soc box by mail from j. TsShup
trne. Savannah, Ca, If your druggist don't keep Il
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Be sorry in time, it may save many
a Sorrow-in' time.
The Jennings daily record. [volume] (Jennings, La.) 1900-1903, 1902-06-14

Wonder if Prince Henry has got
his sleep tip yet.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1902-04-05
N NV wv Norfolk ;1sWestern
NOVEMBER 81, 1901.

NOVEMBER "a, 1901.
LEAVE RICHMOND tDAILY). .BYRD-sTREET
STATION.
$500 A. NJ, NORFOLK LIMITED. Arrives
Norfolk II 20 A. A. Stops only at Petersburg.
Waverly and Suffolk. Stops ut Wakefield only
to let of passengers holding tickets from Rich
mcnd and Petersburg
Lynchburg Roanoke. Columbus and Chicago.
Buffet Parlor Car Petersburg to Roanoke. Pull
man Sleeper Roanoke to Columbus: also for
Eristol knoxville and Chattanooga. Pullman
Sleeper Roanoke to Knoxville.
5000 p. N..EOCEAN-SHORE5 LIMITED. Arrive
Norfolk $50 2. NJ. Stops only at Petersburg.
Wa verify and Suffolk. Connects at Norfolk with
steamers to Boston. Providence. New York. Bal
tiruore and Washington
1928 p A., for Suffolk, Norfolk and interme-
date stations. Arrives at Norfolk at 1910 z. NJ.
$40 f.. A.. for Lynchburg and Roanoke. Con,
meets at Lynchburg with Washington and Chat
tanooga Limited. Pullman Sleepers Lynchburg
tn Memphis and New Orleans. Cafe, Paror and
observat ton Car Radford to Alfalfa. Ala. Pull.
mNn Sleeper between Richmond and Lynchburg.
Berths ready for occupancy at $50 +. N. Also.
Pullman Sleeper Petersburg and Roanoke.
= Trains arrive Richmond from Lynchhurg and
the West daily at 1895 A. NJ. and 1856 <. NJ.
from Norfolk and the East at II 10 A. ~. 11:42
AN and $3.50 ?. NJ.
Office-No. S3S Main Street.
8 JNO. E. WAGNER.
City Pass. and Ticket Agt. =
G, n. BOSLEY. Dig. Pass. Agt.
". B. BEv1LL- Gen. Pass. Agt.