davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
SOOTHING SHOPPING.
Peaceful perience at the East
Morley General Emporium.

Morley General Emporium.
The exhausted shopper sank upon
the sofa, while from the open mouth
of her reversed Boston bag poured
cascade of little parcels, freshly strug.-
gled for Mt the Monday bargain coun-
tiers.
"Oh," she cried, 'why does one have
to shop in the city? Everything Is so
hurried, confused, complex, distractIng
and nerve destroyingl If | were only
back at East Morley.
Last summer while | was there |
had TO buy yard of dark blue ribbon,
and l drove over to the one store at
the crossroads to get It, 1t took some
five minutes TO convince the amiable
proprietor that | really wanted dark
blue and could not be persuaded to ac-
cept light Instead, which he considered
more suitable and becoming to fair
complexioned person of my years; he
added reassuringly that anybody under
forty was not too young for baby blue.
another five minutes We're given up
to his incredulous reluctance to believe
that two inches wide would not do as
well as three, especially as the three
inch width had been mislaid on q top
shelf and he would have to get step
ladder to get 1t down. Several mere
minutes passed In the search for the
ladder, its laborious portage from the
cellar, Its erection and repair with a
piece of Irvine, the braces being broken,
and his final ascent to the dim and
dusty upper region, whence the box of
wide ribbons was at length produced.
Il found shade that would do, and
he leisurely measured Off yard, fin
gered 1t, then paused to rub per-.
picked ear and smile overwhelmingly.
Fact is he confded sweetly. Il
sold the last pair of scissors in the
store just before you came In, and I've
forgotten my jackknife. It's kind of
awkward cutting 1t off, but I'll man
age somehow. | guess there's an ak
In the she'd
He carried the silken roll away
with him as he started with comforta-
bic deliberation to find the AK, which,
though the hunt for 1t was long and
perseverlng, evidently could not be
found, for we caught =, glimpse of him
at last through the half open door to
the back shop severing the required
yard of ribbon with an old chisel.
1T was all so serene, so soothing and
SO satisfactory! | believe | shouldn't
be a wreck before New Years every
winter II could only do my Christ
mas shopping at the East Morley gen.
eral emporium. "-Youth's Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

We'll, num-" said the cook as she
entered the parlor with her bundle in
her hand. II must be after goin' away
this mornin'."
What do you mean? Why are you
goingT" asked her astonished mistress.
Il am goln' to be married next
week"
but surely, Bridget, you won't leave
me so suddenly? You must ask him to
wait for n few days"
'Oh. l couldn't, num-"
why not, pray?"
Sure. mum, I'd like to oblige you,
but don't feel well enough acquaint-
ed with him to ask such Il thing
Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

Little Mabel, says the Woman's Jour
nal, had been put to bed alone. Pres
emily she appeared in her nightgown
at the head Of the stairs, saying plain
lively, 'I'm lonesomer'e Her mother
gave her fayorite rubber doll named
Happy to take to bed with her and for
a few minutes she was quiet. Then
she reappeared with her plant Of lone
someness. This time her mother RE-
minded her that God was with her and
sent her back to bed with a reproof.
Soon she was heard weeping bitterly,
and when her mother went to her little
Mabel summed up her sense of misery
by exclaiming, Il don't. want Happy,
and l don't want God; 1 want some
body with skin FACET
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
A New Piece of Music.

General Horace Porter, the Ameri-
can soldier. once asked Ii Hung Chang
for his photograph for his daughter.
The Chinese statesman kindly COM
piled with his request and. getting his
paint pot and pencil, drew queer look
ing figures up and down the portrait,
Handing 1t then to the general, he ex-
planned that the left hand column con-
tained list of his titles, while the
right hand side bore list OF the posts
he had filed When he reached home,
Porter gave the photograph to his little
girl, saying: Here's what you wanted.
IL you can't read 1t, probably you can
play 1t ON the pianow
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
An Orphan

A well known professor has bright
boy, who one day at the age of four
appeared IN his fathers study clasping
in his hands forlorn looking little
chicken which had strayed from
neighboring incubator.
"Willie" said his father sternly,
"take that chicken back to its mother"
"Ain't dot any mudder," answered
Willie.
"Well, then, take 1t back TO its ia
ther," said the professor, determined to
maintain parental authority
"Ain't dot any fadcr," said the child.
"Alnt dot anythin but an old lamp
New York Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
THE lAMBERTYILLE RECORD
A QUEER PICTURE THING.
The Way One Art Treasure WINS Res
cued From oblivion

Few chapters In the worlds history
are more curious and interesting than
that which deals with the fortunes of
Its art treasures. In the cathedral at
Montreal Is, or was Il few years ago,
a large piece of tapestry which had
been discovered in Il back street of
New England town. The story Is told
In Mrs. Silsbee's Half Century of
Salem
One day n certain Mr.. Miller passing
through Derby street saw woman
beating clouds of dust from Il carpet.
Something peculiar in its appearance
made him stop and look closely ut 1t,
when he discovered, to his astonish-
ment, that ii WAS a splendid piece of
tapestry, with life sized figures
wrought from Raphaels cartoon.
Feed My Lambs"
The woman was quite willing to
tell how she obtained II. IL was. In
fact, standing grievance to her. Her
husband was II sailor, and when he
went out on one of his voyages she
had begged him to bring her carpet
A'i hNi bNsi lbtills AS IL happened, ne
did not visit port where he could
buy carpet, but rolled up In n little
shop on the quay Mt Malta he had
found the tapestry and purchased 1t.
thinking 1t might answer the purpose.
1t was too large for the room, and the
woman had to turn big piece under.
She folded the piece back, revealing
pnrt of the superb border of fruit and
flowers wrought In silk and gold
thread, us fresh rs when ii WAS first
worked. But the owner eyed 1t with
contempt She never did like the
queer picture thing, she declared.
1t was the opportunity of lifetime
Mr.. Miller promptly offered her the
choice of any carpet in the stores In
exchange for her queer picture
thing" and the woman as promptly
accepted the offer. They went down
town together, and she selected with
unbounded delight. hideous pattern
of glowing reds and green's. Her face
was full OF triumph when she re-
turned. The best room Mt last was to
have carpet that was n carpet!
1t Is safe to say that no bargain ever
gave more complete satisfaction to
both parties than the one made that
morning In Derby street, Salem.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
EPlGRAMS IN DIALOGUE.

The following bouquet" Is picked
from various plays, successful and 9th
erwise:
Nothing can work such havoc as
fool.-"Sowing the Wind"
We may scale mountain only to
trip over mole hill.-"Queen's Favor
ite'
Those who wait for other mems
shoes must tread roughly sometimes
"Alone."
Life's like baeearat Chance gives
the cards. We only play what's dealt
us.-"John Dunford, Nj. p"
Joy, joy-one cannot touch joy every
day. One must take things rs they
are.-''Pelleas and Melicande."
Wrinkles, you know, my dear. are
the diary of woman's life In cipher
His Excellency the Governor"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

The primitive form of the spinel
ruby is like that Of the diamond, eight
sided, which distinguishes it at once
from the oriental stone. The color of
the genuine ruby is that Of the arte-
rial blood, or pigeons blood, as it Is
called. 1t is extremely hard and after
the sapphire is the hardest Of the
corundums. which renders it difficult
to understand why the earth so rarely
gives 1t up. Its tint is as beautiful, by
artificial light as by day, and its pow
ers of reflection are so great that an
cient belief credited it with power Of
emitting light. The ancients even sup
posed that it would shine through
clothing with undiminished power.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
A VAST SALT FIELD.
How the Product Is Obtained In the
Middle of the Colorado Desert.


In the middle of the Colorado desert,
a little to the north of the Mexican
border and 264 feet below the level of
the sea, lies field of crystalliZed salt
more than thousand acres in extent,
presenting n surface as white as snow
and beneath the monday glare of the
sun so dazzling that the naked eye
cannot stand its radiance 1t stretches
away for miles and miles about Salton,
Colo, aa ocean of blazing, clustering
white.
Here daily throughout the year men
are at work overturning the great de-
posit with massive plows and scrapers,
getting 1t into great piles preliminary
to putting 1t through the refining proc
ess. The salt plows used to secure the
harvest are great four wheeled imple-
ments driven by steam and managed
by two men. The salt crust is thrown
up In parallel ridges; then laborers
with hoes work 1t to and fro in the
water, washing out the dirt prelim-
fnary TO stacking it in mounds to be
taken to the mill
Salt springs in adjacent foothills are
constantly contributing to the deposit,
and so heavily laden are they with al
most pure salt that the pillow has hardly
passed on before new crust has
formed in the furrow left. This fact
renders 1t unnecessary to operate more
than small portion of the vast de-
posit
As may be supposed, work in these
fields is performed under the most try
ing conditions. No white man can
stand the intense heat, and for this
reason the work Is done wholly by
Japanese and by Coahuila Indians. OF
these the Indians are by far the better
adapted to the work. the Japanese per-
forming only one portion, sewing the
sacks in which the salt is shipped. The
atmosphere laden as it is with parti-
cles of salt, gives rise to a painful
thirst, and the only available drinking
water comes from single we'll 1t Is
warm and Ill tasting.
Beautiful mirages frequently appear
above the great salt field In the day
time, sky pictures of magnificent cities
and flower dotted. tree shaded fields.
The moonlight, too, produces Won
drously beautiful effects upon the
great field Of cleaning salt. For sew
eral weeks in the year the thermome-
ter on the salt field averages 140 de-
grees, and the reflection of the sun
produces glare like that from fur
mace. The deposits vary In thickness
from ten to twenty inches and form
a solid crust over the great marsh. 1t
Is estimated that about 700 tons are
now plowed up daily.-New York Trib-
.tua
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
LIKE TO BE YOUNG AGAIN.
Nesf Well, Here In One Man Who
Would Rather He Excused


Would Rather lie Excused
I'VE all say that we'd like to be
young again. but | doubt If we really
mean it" says Harvey Sutherland in
Ainslee's Wed like to have as good
health as we had when we cast our
first vote, and we'd like it If we didn't
have to visit the dentist so often and
SO extensively. But II 1t came to the
point that the genii bounced out be-
fore us and sulklly growled. What is
your wishY | will obey, and the 9TH
er slaves of the lamp fancy we
should study quite awhile, with many
n Why-ah, let me see now, before
we plucked up the courage to blurt
out, Make me twenty-one again
Because, YOU know, you haven't
any too much sense now, with all
your experience of the world, and IL
you We're twenty-one again II would
have to be in mind ms well as In body.
The mind Is what the body Is. 1t
seems terrible price to pay for a
new set of teeth and an undiscriminat-
Ing appetite. What? To walk again
'i"t Ntdiat toituouS EOdut 10 discover
again how many kinds of fool and
failure one can be, and not half try
either; to have to take over again all
those terms OF old Professor Expert
ence? Huh-uhi Not for me. You
may II you like. Even If could start
anew with what | have learned of
life, which would come far short OF
what | should really need, It seems to
me that it would be a bore to have to
sit through the performance again.
| suppose If ever there was success
full man, n lucky man, it was Martin
Luther, and yet when the electress
OF Brandenburg wished him forty
more birthdays he told her he would
sooner give up every hope of heaven
he had than spend forty years more on
earth. To be sure, he would have haf
to spend them in Germany, but that's
n detail"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
A GREAT WORRY CURE.
common Sense lis the Hest Remedy
That Can lie Prescribed.

common Sense Is the Hest Remedy
That Can lie Prescribed
l once asked a physician what cure
he could suggest for the worrying hab-
It, Il would prescribe common sense"
he said, land If man or woman
hasn't got stock on hand and cannot
cultivate one the medical man is pow
erless." This worrying nonsense grows.
The best means to cure 1t lies in the
hands of the woman herself
IL she will just call little horse
sense TO her aid, resolve not TO borrow
trouble TO be cheerful and think upon
the right side of things, she will live
longer and be able to retain her beauty.
Every woman has the strongest desire
to keep her good looks. Why, then,
does she take the course which is sure
to make her yellow skinned, duh eyed
and thoroughly unlovely?
The Englishwoman Is greatly adj
mired for her utter refusal to worry or
to be worried. Consequently she looks
young at fifty. Undertaking no more
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
The Sc. Large School Of Shorthand { TypeVriting
OFFERS EDUCATIONAL ADVANTAGES THAT ARE
DISTINCTLY FIRST-CLASS.

The principal Of this school brings to
his work wi de practi cal exper fence as a Ste
no grapher, and except onal ability as amin
structor backed by tabl shed reputation
for doing
a THOROUGHLY sKILLFULLY AND CoNsCIENTIoUSLY
II he under tax es to do
For Eli ghteen Years Pr incipal Teacher Of
the Shor thand Depar tment Of the Stewart bus i
ness College. Has prepared more successful
s teno or aphers than any teacher that has
taught biography in this section Of the
country
Advantages that positively guaranteed
to the tudent:
Hi eh-Grade TIE chni cal ms tru cti on
Every possible perso nal encour cement,
Shor thand pr epar ati on that wi IL meet the
r equ ements Of the better paying posi- tions
n the bus mess comuni ty.
Prospects f1attering. Seating capacity
l imi ted
Now is the time enroll.
School term begins Monday, Sept. /, l902.
For fur Their par culars, address
S. E. LARGE, Pr pal,
S. road ST.. Trenton, NJ J.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

In n woman's word book 81 hate
you" often means Il like you" That's
worth remembering. - 1.-THE Terma-
CANT"
Ladies. like bills of exchange, are al,
lowed a little grace and unlike bills of
exchange. are much pleasanter to meet.
Her Own Rival"
l suppose honesty's like the govt. 1t
runs in certain families for several gen
erations, and then 1t skips a genera
tion.-"The Rogue's Comedy"
Oh. isn't there one perfect world out
Of all the millions, just one. where
everything goes right and fiddles never
get out of tune 1.-THE Masqueraders."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
The German WIFE. vacation.

1t Is common practice In Berlin for
the wife to stay at home when the hus-
band and family go to the seaside. In
this way the wife enjoys her own holt
day. for there is no housekeeping to be
done. She foregathers with friends
grass Widows" like herself-and they
take their meals at restaurants, spend
their afternoons and evenings Mt popu-
lar places Of entertainment and thor
oughly enjoy themselves.-London Elk.
press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
Nothing Peculiar.

II told the boss that would like an
increase in my salary" said the clerk
ut the neckwear counter to the floor
walker.
what did he say?'
HE said that everybody would
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
WILLING to De

Il once threatened to sue an old fei.
low in Vermont for $40 that he owed q
client of mine" said New York law
yer, but the threat did not seem to i'm
press him much.
"'What good will it do you to sue
meY he asked.
1T will get the money | answered.
Here the fellow came up close to me
and said, Say. If that's so. sue me for
500, won't you. and give me the other
$10.'
Il gave up hope of collecting that
claim."-New York Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

If you are bilious and seeking advisers
Take DeWitt's. Little Early Risers,
Just before going to bed.
You will find the morrow,
You are rid OF your SORROW
That's all Just enough said.
These famous pills do not grippe. but
move the bowels gently and easily,
cleansing the liver. Their tonic effect
gives strength to the glands, prevent
ms return OF the disorder. Geo. Nj.
Shamalia...
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

no" grumbled the husband in a
spasm Of confidence to a friend. Il
have no place at all for my books. The
storage room is kept exclusively for
my wife"
"Oh, she puts away those things that
are trife too good TO be destroyed,
yet scarcely good enough to be of use"
Brooklyn Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
Too Impetuous.

Tess-Why do you dislike him so?
Jess-Oh, he says such hateful
things. He told me last evening that
beauty was only skin deep, and
Tess-And you Immediately proceed
ed to show him how thin skinned you
were.-Philadelphi Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

what docs Freddy like to playT
asked the caller.
Freddy" replied papa, likes TO play
whatever games his mother and de
eide are too rough for him. Detroit
Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
Nike. Poodle.

Hogan-An is he blooded dog,
Mike?
"Blooded9 l sh'd say he wuz. wy,
when he wuz pup TIL doc had to bleed
him to kape him from bein' a blood.
hound, faithw-Chicago News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

Barnes-There goes Stayers. l never
saw anybody who could stand the
hard knocks of life as he can. He's
man Of iron.
Howes-That accounts for it. !
thought he looked rather rusty.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

81 wonder why they always call
them the wild wavesY" says the
thoughtful one.
II don't know, but | think | know
what makes them Wild" says the
cynical one.
"Whatfp
$50 many fools happen along, and as
soon as they see the waves they ask,
what are the wild waves saylngp -
Baltimore American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

Jerry-How do good clothes make n
man a gentleman?
Joe-They make him feel as IL he
was expected to act like one.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

The fool sits down and worries about
the living the world owes him, but the
wise guy hustles around and collects
the interest ON the debt. - Chicago
News
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

81 ran into town today to do some
shopping, dear" said Mrs. Subbubs,
entering her husbands Office, "and
u
81 sec" he interrupted, "and you just
ran in here because you ran out."
IRAN out?"
eyes; of money" - Philadelphia
Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

Half ton OF sawdust contains 100
pounds of charcoal, $50 pounds Of acids,
24S pounds OF water and 162 pounds Of
tar
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

One of the hard things to under
stand is how such nice grandmothers
Us everybody has ever could have been
mOther-in-laWs.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

Wood intended TO be made into pinn-
os requires to be kept forty years In
perfect condition, so 1t is asserted
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12
rhe Real Bov.

Don't say 81 wish" Anybody can
Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1902-11-12

TIT III '" IT TT F''''''' = u
How did he ever get the title of
'HonP"
''IIe declined a nomination for alder
man once"-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-01
Killed by Santa Fe Freight Cars.

Wichita, April Ralph Elwoot7 was
killed ct the stock yards here yester-
ayZafternOon by being crushed be-
tween the bumpers of two Santa Be
freight cars. He was an employee Of
the stock yards and was coinihg Is
his work about o'clock from his home.
half mile east Of the yards, There
was a small space between thei cars
and he apparently did not notice. thsat
a switch engine was at work OH the
string. He attempted to crawl through
between the cars, when the engine
pushed them up- The man was struck
IN the lower part of the abdomen and
he died q few moments after the ace4-
dent.
He was an old soldier SIS years. old.
and came to this city about a year ago
from Greenfield, Ill He leaves a fam
lily of six children in very poor cir
curuStances
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-04-01
KANSAS news.
lightning Rod Grafters at Work
in Bourbon County.
Three Men Are Doing the Same
Old Scheme.
ONE VICTIM LOSES 1856
Threaten to Run a LIEN ON Far
ner Byers' Property.
Agreement of $3.50 Comes Back
For Larger Sum.

Fort Scott. Kan. April The Monitor
says:
". II. Byers of Uniontown was in the
city today and reported that three men,
representing themselves as lightning roa
peddlers, are working in the county.
A man giving the name of c. Nelson
came along Saturday and made a contract
with J. v. Byers, who lives four and q
half miles north of Hepler, to put up light
ming rods on his house and barn for 81 50.
Yesterday two men, giving their names
as Hunter and Hood, came and put up tbs
rods on the house. Then they demanded
$685. but agreed to take SIS in money and
a note for $50.
Mr. Byers, after much pickering. during
which the men threatened to run a lien on
the property. finally gave them SIS and
then made them a note for $50, for winch
they gave him receipt IN full
The men then departed. taking the light
ming rod for the barn with them. After
studying over the matter Mr.. J. W Byers
went to UniOnIOwn and told his brother
about the matter.
The brothers had Emmett Holt. cashier
of the JniontoWn bank, to notify all banks
in the county not to discount the note.
Mr. T. W. ByerS then came to town ana
notified the First National bank, which
he also notified all of the short loan men
not to take up the note;
c. Nelson, the man who came first and
made the contract, was a large man and
the man who made the deal over the note
was a bluffing sort of a man.
The rod on the barn they never did put
up, seeming to be in a hurry 10 get away
after they got the note
The men are said to have taken Mr.. ].
" Byers contract with the first man
away from him and tore It up.
County Attorney Griffith states that the
Kansas law provides that a lightning rod
can not be made mechanics lien.