The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1902-02-27
IN A HUMOROUS VEIN.

IN A HUMOROUS VEIN.
The Tcachcr-Whcn the logs get
caught in the fast-moving stream, what
would you call that9
The Boy-Why, Pd call that a cur
rent jam. .--Y0kcrs Statesman.
Mrs. Ncighbors-Do you and your
husband live happily together?
Mrs. Enpcck-Surc. I'd just like to
Gee my husband try not TO live happily
with me.-Chicayo News.
Mamma: "Teachcr tells me you
were very naughty in school yesterday.
Why did you not tell me yOurscli?"
Tommy: Why --cr-you always
told me not to tell tales out of school,"
"Iou say you are not sure 1t was
suicidc?" asked the newspaper man.
No, Stranger" responded Amber
Pete; "he was playing solitaire, caught
himself cheating, and, Of course, he
had to shoot.--Chlcago News.
What is the difference between a
statesman and a polilician?"
"A statesman is a man who can
bam3oozle the public without being
found out; a politician is a man who
doesn't care whether he IS found out
or not so long as he gains his ends"
"lt had an engagement with you,"
said the clerk, cit would be this"
And he gently placed date with a
peach.
No." answered the pretty cashier,
it would be like this"
And she laid the date beside the
canned Holsters.
Tcachcr-' What zone is this in
which we livc?' Johnny TEN.
pcratc.' Teacher" Correct. Now,
what is meant by temperate zonc?'"
Johnny---" It's place where it's
ircczin' cold in winter an' red hot in
summer. ."-Philadclphi Press.
"l suppose" said the physician
smiling and trying to appear witty,
while feeling the pulse of a lady patient,
81 suppose you consider me an old
humbuy?n
Why, doctor,' replied the lady, 81
had no idea you could ascertain a w0-
mans thoughts by merely feeling her
pulse"
lows Mandy ytlin' along at that
fashionable bOardin' schOOl?n
"Shc's lcarnin' things hand over
fist. She can write a fOur-pagc letter
now SOS you have TO turn 1t upside
down and sldcway six or eight times
Fore you git to The end of it,
Chicago ord-Ucrad.
Yes" said the Fairy Prince, " you
may have whatever you want for
Christmas present"
"l will choose" said the Fortunate
Person, either wife or an automo-
bile.'
"How foolishn' exclaimed the Fairy
Prince. "Why do you not select some
thing that you can manager"
"Thcre is another application for
you to give something to very worthy
enterprise" said the Congressman's
wife.
"Wcll, it's hard matter to dccidc,n
he answered. I" lf L don't give, my
constituents will consider me unpra-
cious. And if ! do, thcy will think
am luXuriating here in Washington,
with nothing TO do but waste money!
"As to my merit" said the young
man who was asking the lady's father
for her hand, "you will have to take
me at my face value"
Well" answered the fond father,
you'll have to drop in later IN the day.
The market quotations on brass arc
not out yet. ."--Baltjmor American.
Some years ago at Il Mardi Gras ball
at The Hopkins Institute of Art, man
masked, approached a woman masked
and asked her for dance, as is con-
sidcrcd right and proper at Mardi Gras
" But don't know you, sir" said the
lady III her most ICY tone. "Wcn,
L m taking as big a risk as you arc,"
rctOrtcd the man.-San Francisco Ar
gOnauL.
Jacob a. Riis tells Of an Irish team
ster who went to the priest in fright;
he had seen ghost on the church wall |
rs ne passed ii IN the night. "And |
what was 1t like?" asked the priest.
'' 1t was like nothing so much as BIG |
ass" said Patrick wild eyed. "Go |
home, Pat, and be easy replied the
priest, soothingIN; "you'vc only seen
your own shadow"
During Il school tea the other day
kindly old doctor was regarding one of
,hc young guests with evident alarm.
Cndlsmaycd by the DOCTORS glanccs,
ne young scholar rapidly demolished
'latc after plate of bread and butter
md cake. AT last The doctor could
stand 1t no longer. Going up to the
'oung rascal, he said:
:" My boy, have you ever read any
NOOK Whio1, I,1I