Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1902-10-23
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'Wnat! again! Judge.
The Trust Principle.-It is oss,er ;.
rob million of men of a dollar eooS
than to rob one man of a million
Life.
Mrs. Jones-"I always think twico
before l speak once sir" Mr. Iona.
(sighing)-"Exactly, Maria-but you,ro
such quick thlnkerw-Puck.
Mistress Ito newly-engaged cook,-
"And now, what shall we call yon,
Cook-"Well, mum, me name is Ber.
tina. but me friends all calls me Birdie -
Swapping condolences: May-'I hear
Belle had a great talk with Harry ont
on the beach" Clara-"I should saw
she did. Why, even her tongue is sun.
burned. Elk.
Alaste necessary: Assistant lin men.
agerie) - ''Sir, it rains" Keeper
Good heavens! Don't waste n min.
ute. but take in that zebra. His color
runs" ."-Tid-B
II the people who can't write had
the brains of those who can, and those
who can had the skill of those who
can't, what n glorious literature we
would soon have.-Ex.
Mrs. Hiram Offen-"What made you
leave your last place." The Cook Lady
"'Tls insultin We are, ma'am. Nothin'
could ever make me Pave, ma'am. OF
go whin Oi PLACES. PHILADELPHIA
Press.
Lieutenant-"Don't you know enough
to salute your superior officer?" New
Sentry-'I did, SIR" Lieutenant-T
failed to see you" Sentry-"I said,
Hello, there" but guess you didn't
hear me-"
Kitty-"D'ye rally love me, Dinny?
Denny-"Do OF love ye? Faith Kit.
ty, Ord do anything to live wild ye
the rist av me loife, aven If Oi knowed
'twould kill me this minute. ."-Phila.
delphia Press.
Mrs. Benham-"It's hard on the peo.
pie of Greenland to have nights six
lllOllIllS luhS' bcnuuln-- Leo. just
think of the sufferings of the poor man
whose wife's mother drops in to spend
the evening. Bazaar.
Casey-"Did We go ovter t. see Kel.
ly lasht noight?' Costigan-"Oi did
not. Afther Old walked two thirds av
tn way Oi was too tired t 20 a shtep
further, so Oi turned round an walked
back home again. Judge.
Brother, don't you know If you
swear at those mules you won't get to
ParadiseT Yes, pawson; but If l
don't swear at them l won't get to the
end of the row. and that's the impor-
tant thing at present "-Philadelp
Record.
YES. count. in all the park there is
no place | like so well as under this
old, old tree. (Sighing sentimentally)
There are tender associations, you
see" AHA! comprehend, mamselle.
You have yourself planted the tree"
Punch.
His choice jury: Lawyer Brief-"l
see that case of yours is on. Jury
drawn YETI" Lawyer Skinner-"Yes,
and it's a splendid one" Lawyer
Brief-"Above the average in intelll'
gence. eh?" Lawyer Skinner-"No;
way below t."-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Doolan-"Only think, Mrs. Gro
gan, that great PianipOunder has prac'
ticed so har-rd at the pianny for the
lasht six months that he has paraloysed
two fingers" Mrs. Grogan-"Begorrah
that's nothing, Mrs. Doolan. Me daush.
ter, Mary Ann, has practiced so nara
for the lasht six months that she's par
aloyzed two piannies."
Excited Fisherman Ito country hotel
keeper)-"There isn't a bit of fishing
about here! Every brook has sign
warning people off. What do you mean
by Turing anglers here with the prom
ise of fine fishing?" Hotel Keeper
didn't say anything about fine hshlhs
If you read my advertisement careiur
ly, you will see that what SAID was
Fishing unapproachable.'
Archibald, dear" his wife salu
arousing him "In the dead OF night,
II wish you would walk baby lll'i'
while. He's going to wake III" how
can l do that, Lucinda?" eXpostuiateu
the sleepy husband. You know I've
got the ping-pong ankle Then pu,
him in his cradle and rock him wniie'
Il can't do that, either. I've got u'
golf shoulder" Boston Courier
The blood of the soldier; 81 suppose
colonel" said the beautiful grass
widow, that there often are momen''
when you wish you were again on u,
battlefield, thrilled by the roar anu
fired by the excitement of war les'
he answered, looking around eageiN
for an avenue Of escape, ana seeps
none "even now the old feeling con,e'
back to me. Chicago Record-Heraiu'
An appreciation: A man went wiz
his wife to visit her physician. ine
doctor placed a thermometer III u.
woman's mouth. After two or lni''
minutes, just as the physician "a.
about to remove the instrument INV