New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-12-24
THE TAIN OF THE DAY.

The Trenton Times has celebrated its twentieth
anniversary by getting out handsome special sup
pement printed heavy paper The Industrial
growth and enterprise OF New-Jerseys capital city
strikingly shown.
How Mean.-Mrs Newriehe-Now. here's my lat.
satisfied with It, I'm sure 1t does me justice;
Mrs SCGttinge-Yes, indeed justice tempered with
mcrcy!-(Brooilyn Life
Away up in the frozen northand almost within
the Arctic Circle. Is the place OF publication of
what is perhaps unique newspaper. The place
is Cape Prince OF Wales. the name of this odd
little sheet is The Eskimo Bulletin its editor is
W. T. Lopp. and It IS issued but every twelve
months. Indeed. under the head OF the paper is
the caption. THE Only Yearly in the world
A LAMENT FROM THE LINKS
MAKES Us. Of iss pq@e PesalisT dig
f fooslei
Y@ q,. ask What makes 5s. my my check so wan
Why deliberately don
An unbecoming tie?
Why. when l saunter to my club.
~, sit ,a alone - and ns ! crunch so9a, enh
1t is the deadly dunch
My wagelc satisfaction. gives
Ny swing is free and fine.
No golfer boasts of explosives
richer store than mine.
Yet do rot for these reasons dub
Me happy Mr.. Punch.
For I'm infected. by the hub.
Distracted by the dunch-
In vain seek the means TO win
Remission Of my III:
I've tried sloe gin, phenacetin.
White port and salicyL
I've tried ammonia in my tub.
But man alas is born 10 hub.
Predestinate to dunch.
And vet though desperately tried
II mitigates my woes
To find my symptoms coincide
With Mr.. Johnny Lows;
To learn that at the goltipg hub
Are Just as apt as ! to tnb. d..
And just as sure to dunch. Punch
Not all parrot stories are pretty this one, told
1.-THE Boston Transcript. is one of the prettiest.
Caddie is the of all the family with whom the
parrot really cares to talk. and to her his conf
dences and his criticisms of the various members
of the household ever ready and voluminous.
Silence long unbroken. had fallen for days on his
corner. and, to tell the truth. was not unwelcome
altogether, considering the satirica rogues sheer
ing laughter when out of sorts. as he was during
Caddie's absence. when for any reason prey
to gloomy views of life and its mysteries At last
one day Caddie got back TO within telephone range
of home, and called up the bird after talking with
the rest OF the family. The moment he heard her
gay and familiar hail the parrot almost beside
himself huttering about and rapidly retailing his
whole of observations. calls, shrieks. whistles
and nicknames all the while he eyed the telephone
with that cold air of suspicion and contempt mixed
with curiosity peculiar to the oblique glance of the
creature, and then proceeded, followed by the
tire family at careful distance the sly. TO rub
ber'' through the various rooms. upstairs and
down, in search of the real presence of Caddie.
Quoting Her Own Werd in Csternly1-
Willie (shrewdIy)-Oh! Who told you that?
Mother-No one told me. ] suspected it! Now.
tell the truth didn't you?
Wlie-NIa. Children should be and not
heard -(Philadelphia Press
The abstention from medicine is not peculiar to
Christian Scientists. The natives of Madras. among
whom dengue fever is rampant at present for
swear medicine. They hold that each day on
which medicine is taken will mean two additional
DAYS of illness Local undertakers are warm ad-
vocates of the principle. Business with them is
brisk
A fashionably dressed young man walked into an
exclusive candy store and gave his order.
Five pounds, please, to Miss Genevieve Fair
weather.
Just a minute. please" said the saleswoman
She walked to the cashiers desk and took from
the drawer a little book bound in red morocco
Thumbing the index until she to the rs she
turned over to page IS. the head of which ap-
peared the name of the young woman in question
Below 1t were the following entries:
Marshmaows, Crystallized fruit,
Cream nougat. Candied cherries.
nut caramels, NO chocolates or cocoa
French bonbonS, nut
The regular thing. sir?" said the saeswoman.
IF you please
keeps such a book, in which written down the |
likes and aversions of each of their regular Gus
toners among the fair
So. when young man comes in to buy box |
of candy for of these favored ones he is GER |
tain of getting just what she likes and nothing |
else. And in many Cases the young woman in |
question not knowing or having forgotten that her
taste in candy is duly registered, Is pleasantly
prsed that Mr.. Jones or Mr.. jenkins has shown |
such good judgment in its observation-disclosures |