davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-13
Modern Fables
1ne Pari0r Blacksmith Who Was Unable to
PHf Right Over the Plate.
BY GEORGE ABE.

nee there was A left-handed
81 n Society Selling-Plater who
never landed in the Money.
~ OF all the Sexes that roam
the Earth his pick was the
Feminine He was very partial to the
Women Folks. Even the Biondines who
work the Tooth-Picks in the Rotunda,
and the Fat Ones who talk Baby Talk.
and the AChickadees who chew Gum on
the Trolley. and the dark-eyed Duennas
who forgot 10 do up their Back Hair,
and the LUnpy Ones who never go all the
way around with the Powder Puff, and
the Fifty Ones who give the Soubrette
ZIP when they turn the Corner, and the
Mopey Ones who wear Wrappers and eat
Pickles. and the little Maudie F'reshes
who turn out or Saturday Night looking
for DrummerS. and the Spindly Ones in
Rainy Day Skirts who lead Dogs and a
good many others who never get into the
Gibson Pictures-they may have had their
Failings but they looked Purity Fair TO
him.
The last one out was always Number
One with Philo, for such was the Name
of our Hero.
During many long Afternoon when ne
should have been busy with the Books,
PhilO leaned back. combing his Mustaches
with Steel Pen and looking at the Wall
He could see himself in a Cosey Corner
under a Red Light Besides him sat a
Prize Beaut of the kind that makes a
star Feature Tor the Sunday Paper She
was holding him by the Hand and wills
perings You for Me. and nothing else
DOING
Almost every NightfaH he would
change to a White Vest and splash him
self with Violet Water. Then he would
start out to see if he couldn't make the
Lithograph come true.
PhilO always had his Plan of Campaign
ribbed w, He knew what he was going
TO say when she came -breezing into the
Front Room. Then when she had said
so-and-so as a playful. Comeback he
would say something Keen, apparently
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-13

~ TT me ivry time, said
Mr.. DooIey.
What's he been do
iH'?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
He done me frind Biv'ride iv Injy-
amy" said Mr.. Dooley. An I'm FIR
him fr leader iv tn party. He's wan
N N best twO-handed orators in tn
sinit or anywhere. He has won
dherful left an his repartee with tn
right is said TO be very stingin'. He's
inthrajooced tn sthrangle holt be
means is which tn debate can be sud-
denly cut off. He's me ideel leader.
Il want a leader who's got a good
grip on public affairs an men who can
take hold " amy question or amy
Raypublican an choke il or him till
they're black in tn face. Bailey's tn
boy. ! followed Tillman FIR awhile. but
he's gone back. He belongs to tn oil
school iv parlymintaryans tn same
that Jawn l.. Sullivan belongs TO. He's
clever fr an old 'un an I'd be wilIin'
to back him again amy Republican
IN New England at catch weights. His
reply 10 SinitOr McLaurin was said to
be wan iv tn quickest liver heerd since
Oh days iv Dan'l Webster. 1t laid open
III scalp. But they tell me Tillman's
speeches is not what Hogan calls i'm
promptchu. He rehearses thin ivry
mornin' with a punchin' bag. Bailey is
more " a nachral debater. No holds
barred with him. Hand or fut tbs all
IN same.
What was it ali about. says We?
Well, We see, this sinitor firm Injyanny.
me frind jeremiah Biv'ridge, made a
mos iusultin' remark to Misther Bailey.
What did he say? 1 mustn't tell We.
No. 20, it's too horrible. Well. If We
must hear it. close tn dure an pull
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-13
Addenda,
philadelphia Press.D

philadelphia Press)
She-O, no, I admit, you can't believe
one-h half the things you hear
He-No, nor one-third even
She-I guess that's so.
He-But you can usually repeat four
thirds, can't you?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-13
She Hadn't Time.

oHyia.pidn't you ever have pro-
posai Viola2
Viola tglO0mlly)-1 es-a man once
asked me to marry him. but forgot my
self and told him l hadn't time.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-13

Continued on Page l5.)
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
HOLDS INVESTORS LIABLE.
Attorney General Of Illinois says Home
Cooperative Concerns Have No Cor
porate Rights In Any state.

Springfield. Ill. Feb. s.-The status
of the Home Cooperative company.
Of Kansas City, and other unincorpO-
rated cancerns which have commenced
to do business in this state after the
fashion of building associations. is the
subject of an opinion by Attorney
General Hamlin- He says such as
sociations are not incorporated under
the laws of any state: that the asso-
Citations and their members have no
exemption from usury laws. no linn
tied liability of members. no corpo-
rate advantages, the members becom-
ing n mutual association or part
nership where every member is liable
for all the obligations of the associa-
tion, and without right to maintain
an action at law against any member
of the association. He says there is
no statute comforting right upon per
sons or associations to transact the
kind of business indicated.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
MUST RETURN VICTORIOUS
Senator Foraker says American Troops
VIII Remain In the Philippines Untn
Our Authority 4 sapremsl

Washington. Feb. SIN the senate
the sedition laws enacted by the Phil
ippine commission were read at the
instance of senator Rawlins. and at
once drew the fire of the opponents
Of the governments Philippine poll
icy. Senator Hoar expressed his
istonishment that such laws should be
enforced by the government author
tiles Senator Foraker had read from
the revised statutes of the United
States the laws of congress relating
to the crime of treason and said that
the acts passed by the Philippine COM
mission were almost identical to the
laws enacted by congress in the days
Of "the fathers of the republic and
that there was nothing unprecedented
or unusual about them. The Ohio
senator announced with great earn
estuess that the American army never
would return from the Philippines
until il returned victorious and that
gentlemen in and out of congress,
rail about il as they might. ought
thoroughly 10 understand the fact.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
CONDITIONS IN COLOMBIA.
The War Rapidly Reducing the Inhabis-
ants to state of Barbartsm-Ths
Exploring Expedition.

Salt Lake City. Feb. s.-Benjamin
F. Cluff, Jr., the leader of the Brigham
Young Academy South American ex-
ploring expedition. returned yester-
day after an absence of two years,
during which time he and the mem
bers of his party have been travelling
in the interest of science through
Mexico. Central America and a por-
tion of South America FIa. ticsllIy
the entire journey from Provo. Utah.
to Bogota. Colombia. was made with
mules as the only means of trapspor-
tation- The work of the party will
he resumed as soon as conditions in
Colombia become more settled. The
conditions in Colombia, as depicted
by Prof. Cluf, are frightful. He de-
clares that the war is rapidly reduc-
ing both sides to state of barbarism.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
TOPICS OF The DAY.
FIFTY-sevENTH CONGRESS-

In the senate. on the ID. the measure
providing for an Increase IN the salaries
o. United states judges was under dis
cusston for an hour. without result An
otner spirited debate on the Philippine
tsrin bill was precipitated as the result
of some remarks made by Mr.. Carmack
tended speech on the general Philippine
question. which was participated IN BY
Mr.. Beverfdge 0ndl and Tiliman IS. CD
...-..ln the house. the day was devoted 20
general debate on the oleomargartne bill.
the opponents OF which began the day by
an attempt to filtbuster against II. but
we're beaten by more than a two-thirds
vote those who opposed the bill favored
the substitute designed 10 prevent the
traudulent sale OF oleonargarins under
guise Of butter
In the senate. on the eth. the bin pro-
siding Tor a 5 per cent increase in the
salaries Of United States judxss was
passed, after all amendments had been
voted down The urgent deficiency appro-
orfafion biIl was then taken up artl occu-
pied he remainder Of the session John
SewaH. OF New Jersey. was infucted
INTO ofhce---.--In the house. debate on
the oleomargarine bill was continued and
occupied almost the entire session. the
opponents Of the hsll making a strong
nEnt In the presentation OF arguments
In tire senate. on the 5th. consideration
or the urgent deficiency appropriation TN
occupied the entire days session passing
Just before adjournment substantially in
the shape in which IL was reported from
the committee.---..In the house. an sgree-
ment was reached whereby the oleSmar-
S1rfne bill should be brought to- = vote
after two more days Of consideration. one
10 be devoted to general debate and one
70 debate under the fve-minute rule.
In the senate. on the sth, after four
hours further discussion. the Philippine
tariff bill was completed. so far as the
committee amendments were concerned.
all Of them being adopted Several other
amendments. however remained to be
offered and considered. the house.
the day was spent on the Legislative ex-
ecuttve and judicial appropriation bill. l3G
pages Of the bill being disposed of be.
fore adjournment No debate OF fmpor-
tance developed and no important amend
ments were adopted
In the senate. on the It'll. after the
adoption OF only minor amend
ments. the pension appropriation bill was
passed The Philippine tariff bill was
then taken UP. and Mr.. Turner twashJ
delivered a carefully prepared speech on
the legal and constitutional questions in
volved in the government and control of
the archipeiago-.-...In the house the leg
tsiattye- executive and judicial approprfa-
ton bill. carrying te5.i71- sss an Increase
or sSa-lE over the last appropriation was
passed- 1--WE amendments. providing for
a commission to redistrfct the legislative
districts Of Oklahoma. and AUTHORIZING
the president. In his discretion. TO cover
into the civil service the temporary ciert.
cal force employed on account Of the war
with Spain. was adopted
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
UNFIT FOR SERVICE.
Insaiar Presidents Petition for the Expui-
sion of frisrs and Frtar bishops
from the Philippines

Manila Feb. s.--The insular pres
idents will present a petition to Mgr.
Sbaretti, the Catholic apostolic dele
gate in the Philippines. on his arrival
here from Rome, praying for the ex-
pulsion of the friars and friar bishops
in the interest of the church as the
Filipinos consider them unfit for serv-
ice in the house of God.
Gen. Chaffee Friday reviewed over
1000 troops on the Lutna. The de-
partment of instruction is preparing
a school of telegraphy. in order 10
obtain civilians TO replace the military
operators
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
HANGED FOR DESERVING.
Two Negroes Of the Ninth Cavalry who
Were Captured while Aiding EfIipfnos
Pay the Penalty In Arbay.

Washington. Feb. s.-Two soldiers
were hanged in the Philippines Fri
day in execution of sentences imposed
by military commissions by which
they were tried and convicted of de-
serting to the enemy. Their names
were Edmond A. Dubose and Lewis
Russell and both were attached to
company F. of the Ninth cavalry. a
negro regiment. While their COM
pany was operating against the in
surgents in the province of Albay in
August last the two men deserted and
were afterwards discovered serving in
the ranks of the enemy.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
Report of Industrial Comml..ie..

Washington. Feb. s.-The report OF
the industrial commission consists of
1000 printed pages The commission
urges that more power be given the
Interstate Commerce commission:
that a pure food division in the de-
partment of agriculture be estab-
lished; that the beet sugar industry
be protected by tariff. and that in
creased appropriations be made for
good roads.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
PERSONAL AND GENERAL

The state of Puebla and Oaxaca.
Mexico, will send fine exhibits of na-
tive marble TO the ST. Louis exposi-
ton
The Offices and warehouses of the
Seenah Cold Storage Co. in Appleton,
Wis., were destroyed BY fire on the
sth- IL is estimated that sI00. 900 worth
of cheese. butter. eggs and general
farm produce were stored in the
building The entire structure and
contents are a total loss
Assistant Secretary of State Hill
Adiutant-General Corbin and Rear
Admiral Evans have been officially
designated as the presidents dele
gates for the reception and enter
rainment of H. R. H. Prince Henry of
Prussia
The United Irish societies Of Gin
cinnati, through their president. Jo-
seph P. Kealy, have made public n
protest against the proposed visit Of
Miss Alice Roosevelt. daughter of the
president, to attend the coronation
Of King Edward VII
The charters of between 1000 and
5000 corporations in the state of IIli-
nois will be cancelled on the first day
of March by Secretary % State Rose,
because of their failure to comply
with the corporation law passed in
1899.
May Dennie, charged with murder
ing her husband on June IL last. by
shooting him. was declared not guilty
by jury at Quincy. H. The verdict
found that she was insane at the
time, and she ehad not fully recovered
The house committee on territories
has decided to report on the bills
providing for admission Of Oklahoma,
Arizona and New. Mexico to state
hood on Friday, February FL
The Venezuelan troops sent to dis
perse the insurgents in the vicinity
of Guiria have been compelled to faII
back upon Carupano, which place
they reached in an exhausted condi-
ton The troops lost q number Of
men killed or wounded.
Lourens Erasmus. better known
under the name Of Commandment
Marais, has been captured in the
neighborhood of Laingsburg. Marais
was the leader of the Beers who op-
erated in the Sewart Kop range in
1901.
Forty representative millers of CEN
trail Kansas met at Salfna, on the
Ith- and formed an association to act
in harmony with a national order for
the purpose of erecting at the St.
Louis Worlds fair building for the
display of wheat and products of the
mills of the United States
Pope Leo XIII was present at q
special mass in the Sistine chapel on
the 7th. the twenty-fourth anniver-
sary of the death of Pope Plus TX.
His holiness pronounced the absolu-
tion in clear. strong voice.
France has formally notified the
United States that she will partici-
pate in the st. Louis Worlds fair.
This is the first definite acceptance
by any European power to take part
In the fair.
Representative Griffith, of Indiana,
introduced a bill in congress to pro-
vide for coupon currency In order
that small sums. in multiples of five
cents, eonvientiy may be sent by
mail
1t now seems certain that, c-;rr
to the attitude of the European pow
ers and the Boer leaders. the Dutch
government is now firmly determined
to abandon the Boer cause and any
idea Of fresh Intervention
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
CAR SHOPS BURNED.
Two Lives Lost and Properly Worth ss5o.-
900 Belonging to the Rock Isiand Road
Destroyed st Horton. Kan

Horton. Kan, Feb. s.-Two lives
were lost and property valued at
s25o.ooo destroyed as the result of a
fire which broke out in the shops of
the Rock Island railroad in this city
yesterday afternoon The dead are:
Patrick Mckeon, president of the
board of education, and W. II. Davis,
a carpenter. whose body has not been
recovered. The fire started in the
cabinet department and quickly
spread to the power house and paint
Shop.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
YOUNG "rEDDY" Is SICK.
Shs Preeoctsos Roosevelt Who Introdue-d
the -Bsr-nesd' innovation st school
Nov Has Paeumaaia

Washington. Feb. Sowing TO the
illness of Theodore Roosevelt. Jr.,
who. IL Is said. i. suffering from pneu-
monia at Groton. Mass, Mrs. Roose-
welt left for Groton Friday afternoon
where she will probably remain for
some days Mrs. Roosevelt has been
obliged to recall her invitations for
tea next Monday and also to cancel
all her engagements in Washington
for the present A dispatch from
Groton recently announced that
young Theodore had started an inno-
vation at school by going without a
hat, which every other youth in
school was initiating. His sickness is
probably a result Of exposure.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
COULDN'T GET DAMAGES.
Kansas Man Whose Neighbors Duel ksd Him
for Expressing sympathy for Cxoigosr
Loses Out In Court.

Anthony, Kan. Feb. s.-After the
assassination of President Mckinley
last fall William Grubb, of this coun-
". expressed sympathy for the as
sassin- Fifty citizens of the neigh
borhOod took Grubb to a pond and
-ducked" him several times. then
warned him to leave. Grubb went
away for a time but returned and
brought suit for $4,000 against the
men who treated him so roughly. At
the first trial the jury disagreed. but
in the district court here yesterday
a verdict was returned in favor of
Grubb's prosecutors
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
SCRwAD SEES TEE KING.
Edward Cordially Greeted the steel rruss
President and Expressed FrteudIy
Sentiments for Amerteaus

London. Feb. s.-Charles VI. Schwab.
president of the United States Steel
corporation, had half an hours con-
ference with King Edward at Mari-
borough house Friday afternoon. Mr..
schwab was accompanied by Sir
Thomas Upton The king greeted his
American visitor in the most cordial
manner and chatted freely with him.
mainly on the friendship between the
United States and Great Britain To
a representative of the Associated
press Mr.. Sehwab said: "AIl I can
say is that had a most enjoyable in
terview and came away with charm
ing recolecctions of King Edward"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
TWO KANSAS HERoINES.


Fort Scott. Kan, Feb. s.-A wooden
bridge over a small stream near
Overlook. Kan. on the Kansas.
Northern & Dakota branch of the
Missouri Pacific railway. burned yes
terday morning and terrible wreck
was only averted by the bravery Of
two little giris residing in the neigh
borhood. named Ida and Sadie Work
man. one of whom removed her red
pettieoat and tagged the train
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

James Howard was com
conspiracy In the murder q
Gov. William Goebel. at Fl
NY. and given u life ter,
penitentiary. This ends OF
most celebrated trails evs1
the state of Kentucky.
Howard's second trial. the
having resulted in a death
A new trial was granted by
Of appeals
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
Minister Killed by switch Z.

At Fort Smith, Ark, Rev.
kregal was run over by a swift
gine and SO badly injured Z
died in a few hours.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Chicago. Feb s.-What Is regarded
By physicians as one Of the most diffi-
cult skin grating operations ever per-
formed has been completed here. On
the body Of Eve-year-old Marion
Weaver 2iS square inches Of skin have
been grated The operation took
Eve months as the surgeons could
operate only every fortnight. owing
20 the low state Of the boys Vitality.
The new eutiel- covers the pati-at's
chest. abdomen. back and sides
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

IL is officially announced
Jefferson Davis will 90 to
Miss. to greet the last LED
that will assemble in the
capitol. II is understood
"Beauvoir." her old home
gulf coast, will be purchased
state and converted into q b
INDECENT confederates.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Berea college chapel was buj
Berea, Ky, and 500 were rd
shelterless- The big tabernad
fitted up for their inha bitation
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Rev. Robert Anderson You
one of the best-known mini
the VI. E. church, south. died
vile. Tenn, aged Is. At III
he was regent of Belmont q
member Of the board Of tru
Vanderbilt university and a
Of the Tennessee conferencs-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Fred johnson. colored. Il
with the murder of Richard Il
was captured by two detecti|
Warren county. Miss
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Mrs Jefferson Davis viii visit Jack
son. Miss, to greet the last legisla-
ture that will assemble in the his
toric capitol. IL is understood that
"Beauvoir." her old home on the gulf
coast, will be purchased by the state
gent confed-rates.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Terrible suffering is reported
Baxter. Fulton. Sharp and
counties, Ark, as a result of ths
drought last year
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Four masked men blew opel
safe at ClarksvilIe, Ark,
about $500 and killed John |
the sheriff of johnson count
attempted their capture
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

The severest epidemic of d
that ever visited that section
vailed At Texsrkana. Ark. an
ty. since December /. The
has been most malignant, u
!ty averaging 20 per cent.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Express forwarded to all parts Of
the country Transports money and
valuables Of all description on fast
passenger trains at low rates.
There is no cheaper or more eonye-
nient way Of making your small re-
mittanees than by going TO the South
ern Express ofiee and purchasing an
express money order.
Rates are as follows: Issued and
payable in the United States. the cost
will be
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Jodis Ratclif. of Webster
La. killed a Berkshire hog. II
one-half years old. that wei
JOS pounds gross and ss+ dresl
hog was cut up and sold
butcher shop for S53.04.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13
Probably Fatally stabb<

In a row ut Wallis. Tex,
out of a trivial matter, Vivid
cross. a prominent young
man. was probably fatally sts
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

The two-year-old child of Y
E Case. a widow, was bur
death at Nstchez. Miss. Its cI
caught fire from a CRATE.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

London. Fec. She war secretary.
Mr.. Brodriek. IN the hoG-< OF eora-
mons Friday sad that the z1=z5er Of
horses purchased during Tx war TO
tailed ss6.ess. Of watch T-i0f came
from the United States and I1.3s4
from Canada In addition about s9.-
fo5 horses had been captured In
South Africa
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Appleton. Wis, Feb s.-The Offices
and warehouse of the Neenah Cold
Storage company were destroyed by
fire yesterday. II is estimated that
100000 worth of cheese, butter, eggs
and general farm produce were stored
in the building.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

J. A. Pollard, a farmer living
Snow Hill, Tex was kicked q
stomach by a horse, from the Z
of which he died
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Nora Easter, aged :. starte(
with kerosene at her home 4
boro, Tex. and was burned 4
before assistance could be re
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Mrs. jefferson Davis has 50
a formal offer to the Mississl
islature to sell the old Davis
Beauvoir, to be used as q n
INDECENT confederate soldiers
600.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Chicago. FEB s-To the Boston
Investment company. OF Boston. for
the purpose of distributing Robert G.
Ingersoll's lectures among Christians
in order TO eivilize them. I give and
bequeath the sum of $1,000 The
foregoing is . section of the viii Of
Morrix Reimzu
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1902-02-13

Frozen stiff. and with a gu
wound in his back, the dead b<
Robert budding was found
Whitewright, Tex