Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-11-08
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Can she remember what happened
on her twenty-sixth birthday" Eyes,
she was just eighteen. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
judge see that Willie SwelltOn has
given up automobiling. Fudge-When
will the funeral take Baltimore
Morning Herald.
Gladys-That poor young Snobleigh
actually dared TO kiss me! What could
he have been thinking of? Ethel-HiS
debts, probobly.
DO you believe that the rain falls
alike on the just and unjust?" Not
bit of it. The unjust have the UNI
brellas. Detroit Free Press
Bachley-Why is woman like time?
Benedict-Because she never fails 10
get her man in the end? Bachley--
No, because she reveals all things
\ harassing doubt; "Oh, maggie, If
could only make myself believe dat
he loves me for myself, an not because
me mudder keeps er fruit stand!"-Ba-
Ear.
II wonder how Venus de Milo came
TO lose her arms" Broke 'em Off.
probably. trying to button her shirt
waist up the back Philadelphia
Press.
In cemetery at Middlebury, VI, IL
4 stone erected by a widow 10 her low
ing husband. bearing this Inscriptions.
Rest in pcace-until we meet again"
Life.
what has made her so naughty and
proudi" "She thinks she's Il Daugh.
ter of the Revolution" How is that?'
''She went round in the Ferris wheel"
Chicago Evening Post
Jaspar--What are you looking so an.
noyed about? Mrs. Jaspar-I expected
days rest, and didn't get it. This is
the cooks day out. but she insisted in
staying at h0me.-Judge.
First Belgian lIare-Wc aren't in It
these days. We're forgotten. Whas
can we do about 1t? Second Belgian
Hare-We'd better try some good hare
restorer,- Chicago Daily News.
Bizzer-It makes my wife angry
when refuse TO let her have the last
word in an argument. Bu2zer-Why
don't you let her have the last word?
Bizzer--Well, then she says | am afraid
TO argue with her.
Kind I,ady-Would you like a stick
of candy little boy? Chimmle-Nit!
I'm in trainin' ter lick Mickey Welsh
mex week; but IL yer want ter blow
| yerself TO n t'ree-pound porterhouse,
| wy, I'm on.-Judge.
"See here" protested the charitable
man, "you touched me for a quarter
last week, and here you are again"
well, gee whizz!" EXCLAIMED the beg
gar "ain't you earned anything sinceY
Philadelphia Press.
How do you like my racing auto
mobile?" asked the young chauffeur
don't you think 1t Is nobby2 | think
It is perfectly killing" responded the
friend, who knew n thing or two about
the machines record
Borem-Tm something of mind
reader. Miss Hittem-Indeed! Borcm
Yes; | can usually tell at glanc"
what n person thinks of me. Miss Hit
Wonderful! But don't you find ic
awfully embarrassing?
He-Yes, he was great aeronaut.
They say he made nearly "A hundred
ascenslons, and the only accident he
ever had was the one that proved fatal.
She-Really? And on which of the as
tensions did that occur?
Bridget-Oi can't stay, ma'am, Onless
We give me more wages. Mrs. Hiram
Often-What! Why, you don't know
how TO cook or do homework at all.
Bridget--Thats just 1t, ma'am, an not
KNOWN how, sure the wuTk is all the
harder for me, ma'am.-Ph Philadelphia
Press.
We'll" said the lady who was en-
deavoring TO give the widow cOns0la-
ton on the way home from the ceme-
terry, ''the worst Is over now" Pm
afraid not" answered the afflicted one;
the lawyer says there's a bad flaw In
one Of the insurance policies. Chicago
Record Herald.
Tess-He used to take me to the
theater every other evening or so, but
one evening %hen we were sitting In
the parlor, | foolishly allowed him to
kiss me Jess-What has that got tn
do with the theater? Tess-Well. now
he wants 10 sit in the parlOr all the
tlme.-Phladelph Press
An Extremist is Mr.. Fuse much
afraid Of microbesY' Wen | should
say; he washes the antiseptic gauze
gloves he wears IN an intiseptlc fluid
before he even handles the sterlized
glass that contains the boiled and fl
tered mineral water he intends to
Baltimore Herald.
Mr. Morris Fairarmour (of Chicago,
angrilyl-What do you take me fora
savage1 I'm paying enough for this
steak TO have 1t cooked, l guess. Take
II back and have 1t well done. The
XVottar Roc pnrIon dir hut thot M an