The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-01-07
FOOTBALL GAME.

One of the most enthusiastic football has
beens in New York for the last ten years
was Smadams, lately end rush on the De-
mosthenes college eleven of '9l Smadams
talked himself into such condition of adj
miration for the game each season that he
believed boys should be taught it in the
kindergarten.
Its the finest training ever devised" he
would say, "and all this talk about undue
roughness in the game makes me weary.
Look at me! Have | broken nose or an
ear gone? played in some of the fercest
games going. If player is in condition
and knows how to. tackle and how to fall
he needn't get a scratch. Not single
| scratch"
When Yale met Harvard on the gridiron
Smadams was there, usually with party
of pretty girls and his cheering shouts fol-
| lowed many long run. If there was mix
| up SO serious that an unsophisticated OBJ.
server would imagine that the young men
| at the bottom of the pile would perish be-
| fore they could be rescued Smadam's cheer
| fulness always relieved the tension
| In course of time Smadams married, and
not long ago he moved into a colony SO lit
erary that the formal greeting of the COM
muters is: Hello, how are your royalties
on your last book!" 1t was an edition de
luxe of colony, and, following the prevail.
ing custom, its members played tennis and
golf and squash and took long walks and
rode bicycles.
These conventional amusements did not
furnish enough outlet for the superabun-
dant vitality of its male members, and when
Smadams suggested football eleven he
became so popular that he was allowed to
hi OH 0f re, n,nE
train every morning.
There were several other old college
players in this colony, but none of them had
been on the gridiron in ten years. Their
wives protested against their playing such
game, but they quoted Smadams on Foot
ball as Gentle Pastime,' and there was
nothing more to be said. An eleven was
selected, partly on merit and partly on pull,
though, as Smadams said, the game was one
of push and not pull.
The man who had published eight books
had to be selected, though he had never
played football. Had he been sighted he
would have rented his house to some com
mercial person and moved away. There was
an amateur merchant prince who collected
first editions and got on the team because
he weighed 22O pounds; and there were 9TH
ers, including Smadams, who was captain
and quarter back
For two weeks the colony football team
practiced while pretty women admired the
players from the side lines. Its code of
signals included such words as s'Turn Rule"
''Howells, "'.Alfred Austin, ""Fresh Proof"
Revise" and Dickens" Each represented
strategic movement, and when the signals
were given rapidly they sounded like reci-
tation at Chautauqua circle.
Having perfected themselves the COLONY
football team made match for last week
with the eleven of the Tuckahoe Exempt
Firemen's association.
We are not in the college or athletic
club class this season." said Smadams, mod
estly, land we will have to play such teams
as we may find. We viii go easy with the
Tuckahoes until we get our hand in"
But wont all the members of our team
be badly knocked out by such a game?"
asked Mrs. Merchant Prince.
Not bit of it," said Smadams mo
danger at ALL assure you"
The crowd that assembled to see the
Tuckahoes rolled up the field was not large.
but it was enthusiastic and here and there
were children who had been brought to see
papa play football as he did in college. The
Iuckahoes left their family ties, if,they had
any, at home, and, as one Sobservant woman
Two minutes after the game started the
ball was passed to Merchant Prince to rush
through the line, d he was downed in his
tracks with II Tuckahoe men piled COM
fortably on top of him. From the side lines
came shril cry: Don't you hurt my
papa!" and when Merchant Prince was un-
covered his wife pulled him out of the game
with the remark that he ought to be
ashamed of himself.
An unframed substitute was put in, and
this probably accounted for the crushing de-
feat of the colony team by score of 40 to
D. 1t was wild game, and the advice from
the side lines did not help the colony players.
They were rolled in the mud, surrepti-
tiously punched in the ribs and occasionally
swatted in the face by the rude Tuckahoes
Smadams played his position for all that it
was worth, but he could not secure touch
down. He was in every mix-up until he
broke rib and two fingers.
When the game ended there was wailinp
| in the homes of the colony. Fathers of fam
lilies who played we're found to be scratched
and bruised. Some of them had disgraceful
black eyes. None of them appeared at
church the next morning except Smadams,
who went just to show his sand and against
the doctors orders.
The wives of all the other players, re-
calling Smadams' assurances that there
would be no injuries blamed him for every
thing. Mrs. Smadams was asked to resign
the secretaryship of the Ladies' Social,
Outing and Eucher Monday Night club, and
as for Smadams no one had any sympathy.
He had become human anvil for every
hammer wielder in the colony.
The football eleven was organized into
chess and croquet club, and Smadams
wasn't even asked to join. 1t was three days
before he could appear at his Office, and
then his explanation that his bruises had
been won in a football game was received
with polite incredulity. Smadams says that
the game has changed since his day, and
hereafter he will be content to watch it,
N. Y. Sun
Reflections of n Bachelor.
Anyone who is in doubt as to whether he
is in love isn't.
If woman is in love with a man he need
v,ot ok ~ IL I. L