Evening star., 1902-02-01
NEXT DOOR NEIGHBoRS

NExI DOOR NElGHBORS
The new little boy on the block looked a.
II his name lusht t6 be Alwyn. II it wasn't
From the Nay that Mwyn's folks moved
onto the blfek ths nefghborhood perceived
that AwynNhad IN the clothes worth
wearing. AdwyHs mamma seemed to have
different putft for Alwyn for every houz
| Of the day. Every time Alwyn emerged In
to the front yard and walked tentatively
| to the front, gate he had ON a makeup that
| the neighbaEhood hadn't previously seen
| Now he would venture to the front gate
with a complete outfit Of corduroys. with q
| leather capsof color to match surrounding
his cute rd4glets; now. bit later on, ne
would showo up IN the front yard with q
Russian mogjik riSout, and, after while,
| he would once more exhibit himself in 9
| little Raglan coat and neatly buckled leg
| gipgs. Alwyn's. skin was pallid pink He
had big blue eyes. His aforesaid TAKEN
| ringlets hung gfossily on his shoulders
His hands were whittier than alabaster, and
| he never soiled them after the manner Of
ordinary, everyday boys. Aiwyn looked
IKE = d ANA alyn 1hI o0Ked ML De
| Alwyn didn't make any kind OF hdt or
ten-strike at all among the youngsters OF
his age on the block. They all side-stepped
and had business right straight ahead
his front gate. They appeared to take II
for granted after carefully sizing up little
Alwyn out Of the slants Of their eyes. that
he didn't speak the language of their tribe.
On his part, AIwyn didn't seem to mind.
He didn't appear to want to get ACQUAINTED
with any of the boys on the block DE
seemed to be quite content to step oalntly
down to his front gate, look around Tor
while, and then return within doors. to
emerge again about half an hour later with
an entire new outfit Of clothes on his small
shape.
After about a week, however, the boy
right next door to Alwyn began to snow
considerable silent interest In Alwyn. Ihe
boy next door had his hair cut right snort
on the last Saturday Of each month, and
when he wasn't at school his mother saw
to 1t that he wore little pair of blue over
alls, with suspenders to match, for playing
purposes. He had a large collection OF
shiDny sticks, a non-inf1at table footpail'
cap that he always wore on one ear ana
so much boy in his composition that he
hardly knew how to handle at all. HIS
name was Jim, but all the other boys call
ed him "Smutch.'
Alwyn, as said, had been in the neigh.
borhood about a week before "Smutch"
could see him at ALL Then "Smutch' began
to lean on his fence and silently watch AL
wyn. He did this three or four times ana
then he addressed a remark to AiWyn, VINO
was standing at his front gate with his
little white mittened hands In the side
pockets of his Raglan.
"Oh, Roster was what "Smutch' said to
Alwyn. and then 'Smutch' tucked his non
inf1atable foot ball under his arm and went
out and kicked it all up and down the
street "Smutch' was just about Alwyn's
size, but Alwyn paid not the slightest heed
to the remark. He stared haughtily at
"Smutch," and then went into the house
to draw some more on his wardrobe.
On the following afternoon "Smutch'
leaned over the fence and asked Alwyn for
the loan of some doll rags. Failing in his
q Qpf RI
made only one sweeping survey Of him and
then gazed hxedly at the house across the
way, "Smutch'' told Alwyn that If he (Al-
wynn would favor him by taking just two
short steps out of his gate. he (''smutchD
would Immediately repair to the sidewalk
and knock his Alwyn's) block off,
In an exceedingly quiet, intrepid and busi-
ness-like manner, stAlwyn of the golden
ringlets lifted the catch of the gate, and
stepped outron the sidewalk. He held HIM
self like a little gladiator. "Smutch' looked
somewhat astonished, but he had to stand
for his challenge. and so he leaped his
calmly waiting forIthe onslaught. Then the
pink checked, white-pawed, moss-agate-
eyed, dainty little Alwyn, who had been
minding his own business, and who was
clearly in the right, made just one pass at
the arrogant "Smutch," and
No, little Alwyn didn't put it all over the
domineering t"Smntch." Not. by whole
quarter-sectien did little Alwyn do any
fessional funnyisti would have wound up
this strictly yeracious narrative. The pro-
fessional funnytst5Would have revealed the
unaSsumingf fAlWyn as the champion in the
paper-weightz class, and he would lave
pictured Alwyn as handing out an assort-
ment of swings, shOrt-arm jabS and upper
cuts on the frame of the amazed "Smutch'
of sort so effective as to quickly reduce
that bulldozing young person to a moist
and sanguinary pulp. Then the chagrined
and humiliated 'Smutch'' would be pictured
as having gone about the neighborh> >od
with a beaten, hang-dog air and as cross
ing to the other side of the street in order
to avoid the necessity of passing by the
gate of the modest but puissant Alwyn.
However, the professional funnyist
wouldn't have got within Marconi distance
Of winding up this story precisely as it
happened IL he'd done 1t in that way. Con-
sequently-
Dainty little Alwyn made just one pass
at the arrogant "Smutch," and just one
eighth Of one second later his cute little
ringletted head had bumped the tagging
with a thud that was scandalous.
"Smutch's' hand landed square on little
Alwyn's nose. Little Alwyn foolishly got
on his feet, believing loudly, and then
"Smutch" wrapped him in close hug with
his left army and beat up Alwyn's paIlid
pink countenance good and hard
That's how it actually came Off between
little Alwyn. the new boy in the neighbor-
hood, and "Smutch,' the boy next door.
1t may be a prosy sort Of a wind-up. but
it's the honest-Injun truth, and it has been
happening just that way, and in no other
way whatsoever, ever since the era of the
Hyksos kings of Egypt, the professional
funnyist to the contrary Notwithstanding.