The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-05-30

The chief of one of these wrote to head
quarters few days after the issue of
the set of portraits, and stated, ''Sir, l
have duly received the portrait of the six
miscreants whose capture is desired. l
have arrested five of them, and the sixth
is under observation, and will be secured
shortly"
Senator Stewart, who has been in
Washington for many years, has an old
negro retainer who comes around twice
a week for some money. He made his
regular Wednesday call today. The SEN
ator gave him a dollar and said:
Jim, I'm getting tired of this sort of
business. You are an able-bodied man.
Why don't you go to work instead of
living on my. charity?'
"'Deed, boss said Jim, reproach-
fully, ''you amt the kind o. man to be
askin' me to go to wuk now, is you?
Why, boss, it's too hot to wuk."
"Nen,' asserted Senator Stewart. 81
haven't seen you work in the winter any,
cither.'
I'm de wintah, boss?" in great aston
ishment. why, boss, you mus be era
~! It's fab too COZ to wuk in de win
''Wel, Hetty," said Uncle Bill, 81
reckon you have written your graduat-
ing essay and are about ready to say
soodby to school,"
Il am almost ready, Uncle William
replied Harryette. Il have selected the
material for my graduating dress, and
bouquet in my hand or wear it in
my corsage I shall give some attention
to the other trifes of the OCCASION
Judge.
One day drill sergeant in the army
had number of recruits to drill, aud
wanted the married men separated from
line and gave the word OF commands:
''Single men, advance, and married
men. fall back in the rear"
All took their positions except one, all
Irishman, who stood still.
The sergeant asked the reason why
he had not moved, but no answer came
from Pat.
"Come, my man, are you married?'
'No." replied Pat.
Then you are single:
"No."
'Then what are yOu!
Il am counting Sally
The sergeant collapsed.-From Spare
Moments.
Wife. make me same dumplings Of dough,
They will be better than meat for my
Pray let them be boiled till hot through,
But not till they are heavy or tough.
Now, I must be off to the plough,
AID the boys, wheD they've had enough,
Can keep off the flies with a bough,
trough. London Chronicle.
The jubilee Of the submarine cable re-
calls little story of Lord Kelvin, whose
inventions, the mirror galvanometer and
cir ~
raphy commercially practicable"
At the time Prof. Thompson, as he
was then, was engaged on his deep sea
soundings work, he was one day discov-
cred by visitor experimenting with a
long coil Of wire.
What is that for?'' inquired the WIS.,
itor, pointing to the wire.
Making sounds" replied the professor.
"Ah,' said the guest, jocularly, what
kind of note does it give OFF,
'"The deep G, of course came the an
swer like a shot, accompanied by the
well-known twinkle in the professors
eye.-London Express.
4 man took his little boy into Lon
having more interest in the people than
in the literature, noticed man fire.
quently moistening his fingers to raise
the pages Of the newspapers, and, being
unaccustomed to see the habit performed
at home, cried out to his father, ooh,
daddy, look at that gweedy man tast-
ing those leavesv
One day last autumn Bennett Burleigh,
the noted English special war CORE
spondent, was encountered few miles
outside of Pretoria by that volcanic
rhetorician, Gen. Tucker.
"What the -- are you doing out
here with that - thing?" asked the
general, pointing to a kodak which was
slung round his shoulders.
well. SIR promptly replied Mr.. Bur
leigh, Il was intending to take some pho
tographs: but had I known that l was
to have the pleasure of meeting you l
should have brought out monograph
At this audacity, it is said that even
Gen. fuckers stock of sulphurOus ad-
jectives ran low.-Argonaut.
"Our minister says that dancing is
hurtful. Do you believe dancing hurts
anyone?' said the sweet young thing in
pink.
"Well, yes,'' replied the man who was
thankful the dance was over; 1T hurts
the fellow who gets his feet walked on
Workers Statesman.
II dunno how to take Johnson said
the Georgia voter. He made speech
at Hips Cross Roads Tuesday an
praised the Baptists to the skies.''
well. that's were they're headed fer,
amt it?''
Yes; but the next day, at Tomville.
he swallowed the Presbyterian creed
whole, an two days later he broke a rib
in his voice hollerin' with the Metho-
dists! Now, what do you think O. that?''
'Well," replied the listener, II dunno
what to think, onless he's one O. them
fur-reachin' miracles of grace that takes
in the whole business, like the whale
swallered Jonah!'-Atlanta Constitution
AT ONE A. NJ
You're the light Of my life," she whis-