New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1902-08-17
WHY Is IT?
She could have carried him with ease
TWO hundred pounds she weigh.
HIS given name was Hercules,
Her given name was Ray.

'' philadelphia Press.
4 good story is told OF a Rochester IN. " divine
not noted particularly ior his humor- The !adleS
club ~ a certain church was called to meet at a
stated time. and every member was eSp'c'ailS
charged to bring item OF religious news
Ona of the women. probably accustomed to de-
pending more upon others than upon her own re
sources finding herself unprepared win the requI-
site Item as the for the meeting approached.
conceived the notion calling up Dr. Blank. pastor
In another denomination. He responded to the call
on the telephone when substantially the following
con, erSation ensued:
Clubwoman-Dr. BIann. am just on my way 10
meeting OF a womans club at the --- church
We arc required to bring an item OF religious news
Can you give one?
Dr. Blark-H'm. an! The - Church you say?
Clubwoman-Yes.
DR.. Blank-rell them that Jesus Christ died to
sinners.
Cold Comfort Think of the suffering this coal
strike will bring to the very poor people this win
yes but it will bring some consolation to the
very, very poor
The people who never could afford to buy coal
before will be glad to see some others In the same
General Corbin who has Just returned Wash
ington from a trip Yellowstone Park. tells how
some bears in the park raided the Fountain House
Il Investigated myself. and found that the bears
had broken into the Kitchen of the hotel and simply
ruined all the stores. leaving the hotel and its
sidesplitting to listen to the Chinese cook attempt
to describe the visit Of the bears. He became ex-
cited. spluttered. grinned and squeaked and went
through all the supposed manCeuvres OF the beasts
In his endeavor explain the damage that had
been done. 1t really no laughing matter. for
the proprietor OF the hotel and Colonel Pitcher
sent TO punish the intruders." Would they
kill the hears?" General Corbin asked oh
no: they would only whip them. They would take
n big bull whip and lash the bears soundly. Ex-
has taught, the park people that
a good sound thrashing from bull whip will last
n hear either brown grizzly, for the remainder
of the season.
Parke-The other day 1 in kind of vision
and saw my wife as the most perfect woman IN the
Iane-Where were you?
Parke-In an intelligence office describing her to
a cook l trying to engase.-tJudge
When Adnirals Evans and schey both
assigned to duty the Lighthouse Board, which
convenes in rooms at the Treasury Department IN
Washington The Philadelphia Post" relates. the
colored messenger at the door one morning stopped
Admiral Schley
II wish" said the darby you would speak a
kind word to Com dore Evans for He's done
got II IN for me
you must be mistaken George" schley replied.
.'I happen TO know that Commodore Evans, like
the rest of US. thinks highly of your distinguished
services
"oh, rs sure" persisted the coored man. that
Com dore Evans don't like more
What makes YOU think SOP demanded Schley.
Well" explained the messenger. usually when
Com'dore Evans arrives in the mornin' he says.
Hello. George you blankety- blank-blank fool!
How are You? but dis mornn he done say merely.
Hello George! The com'dore must surely taken
a pow'fu dislike to me-
Extenuating Circumsta nces.-"How often have
you been married.? the judge asked the lady who
was applying for divorce.
-Four times your honor" she answered but
don't think ought to count them all. Two OF
them the same man-(Chicago Record
Herald.