The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1902-12-10
FUN WITH MARK TWAIN
Advance Obituary Notices by
Fellow Fun Makers.
DINKELsPIEL'S WARM TRIBUTE.

Humorist's Friend Says Mark Is "Der
Besd Choke Cracker Efer COaxed a
Smile to der Outside uf der Face
und Kebt Id Dare"-An Old Cattle
mans Respects.
When Mark Twain, the humOrist, re-
Gently sent an advertisement about his
obituary notices to the editor OF Har-
per's Weekly, he stated that he wants
the record exactly straight before he
goes. He has seen the folly of depart
ing before ones obituary notices are
correctly edited, and he desires to
adopt the only reasonable method of
assuring the proper supervision of such
matter-namely, the editing Of it him.
self.
In recognition of the practical value
of this novel undertaking the New
York World has obtained a number of
advance obituary notices of Mr.. Twain
from certain persons who are his con-
temporaries in the genial task of max
ing smiles. Here are some of them:
d. Dinkelspiel, per George V. Ho-
bart, says:
Ad der age uf ninety-sefen dare has
PASSED into der pure vite light uf mem
DRY a chentleman vich labored many
years unter der name uf Mark Twain.
He vas a chokeist, vun uf der mosd
successful laugh givers der world has
efer Witnessed, bud mil nisi borax," as
We say in der Latin.
Id is nit him today as id has been
many dimes NIT some uf his chokes,
''requiescat in passe."
Several years before he finally de-
cisioned to Walk down der long lane dot
has no turning Mark hat a gonversa-
tioning NIT der author uf desc bidder
words.
"Dinky," set Mark, offering himself
a long, plack cigar, vich he politefully
accepted, dare vas now no puplic to
look ad u.s. We vas alone, far from der
madding t'rong. Darefore led us en-
choy ourselfs as true humorosities und
discuss der supcheckt uf tombstones."
Gas you wish so i'd is, Mark" MUIR
murationed, NIT a sour glance.
"Ven l go down by der river Sticks
to took ride in der boat built by Chon
Kendrick Panggs, wish to leave be-
hind me a epitlaugh on my tombstone"
set Mark, breathing deeply on his
cigar.
Id vas a solemn moment, und vait-
ed for id to pass away.
Gould you, Dinky, suchchest
epitlaugh for my tombstone ven Moth
err Earth visFers, I'd is time to go to
press NIT your form, Mark!"
81 hobe der consummation so devout-
Iy Wished will nefer ofertook you
Mark" / set earnestly. bud here is
der epitlaugh for your tombstone ven
der necessity drives you to id:
"Vie here below you tiggled US so
Und make us laugh der vile,
So now nit choy your time employ
To make der angels smile!
''To dis, Mark, l would add der sweet
assurance uf a hand NIT der digitalis
finger pointed Upward, und unter der
hand l would pud der legend, Nod
Dead, but ChOkeing!"
Den NIT knuckle to knuckle We
grasped each udder's hands I'm vent
our Ways. Und now to dink vot sat,
sat- bidder task is mine to write der
obituary uf man dot nefer dit me
any harm in his life. Mark Twain
started dis life during his boyhood
ddys. He attended der school uf egg
81 erience ind gratuatiOned darefrom
4 it seferal hard knocks to his credit.
bud id vos nod until he vent into der
playwriting pitZness dot he efer felt
der full force uf a hard knock. Mark
leaves behind him two sons, Huckle-
berry Finn und Tom Sawyer, both uf
vich refused to took der fathers name
for pitZness reasons.
Mark vas born NIT twinkle i'll his
eye vich he afterwards transferred to his
fountain pen, also for pitzness reasons
he is der author uf many gOot chokes
Virtiskisms und bong mots vich some
uf our famous humorosities have writ
ten since. He also wrote book, may
be two or three books, bud dey vas toe
successful to be advertised so We doan'd