The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-06-01


He'll say Thank You" too II vou
Will give me little bit of that hair.
She-Whatever for?
He-What does a man ever want a
girls hair for?
She-Wen. 1 don't always know. A
man asked me for a bit of NV hair
once and I found out afterward he
wanted to make fishing flies out of it.
He-Well, he was wise. What fish
could resist taking that bait?
She-That's not bad-for you! Next
Tune have a pair of scissors I'll give
you a bit.
He-Well, here's your chance. CPro-
duces folding scissors
(She takes them and ships off small
piece.)
She-Now, what good is that to you?
He'll wear it next my heart.
mote to student-lSe careful not to
put things into your hip pockets. 1t
spolis the effect of lesson.)
Prepared for All CONTINGENCIES.
The succeeding steps of this partic-
ular lesson carry the red-headed stu
dent and her official sutton through an
interesting and ingenious course of ,iia-
logue ana then to proposal and &C.
ceptance. The careful use of this text
book, 1t is claimed, is calculated to give
assurance to even the most bashful stu
cent. The lessons are so arranged
that every contingency, both of com
plexlon and disposition, are provided
LOT. Inc student who has made con-
scientious progress through this work
will, in the opinion of the faculty, be
SO well equipped with the requisites to
scientific lovemaking that he will have
no dltnculty in starting a progressive
conversation with any young woman
oy whom he may be attracted. While
woman student who has been through
the book will find it easy to make prop
erly coy yet enticing replies to any suit
or who may present hiuself.
In all other points the instructions to
be given in scientific love-making will
De equally thorough. The object Of the
college of Courtsh;p" is to irnpart a
finished style to the love-making Of its
students. No graduate of the institu-
tlon, for instance, will ever need TO
descend to such subterfuges as saying,
II you love me, squeeze my handi'
He Will know how to obtain an aVowal
by methods that are less crude. Lessons
VIII be given, also, IL the language
OF flowers and of stamps. These lee
lures will be finished productions, hav-
ing nothing in common with THE rose
is red, the violet's blue, pickles are
green" and the rest of that ridiculous
and Anticipated school Modern sci
ence demands better thangs in love,
says Prof. Brooks, and it will be the
object of the institution to develop in
its pupils the highest grade of art in
love-making.
Use of the Hug Tester.
As far as possible the students will
be exercised without apparatus, but
members of the faculty have devised
several testing machines of such I'M
doubted value that they will be used
in the curriculum. One of the best of
these, devised by Prof. Stringer, is
known as the hug tester" 1t con
sists of dressmaker's dummy to the
top of which is affixed a dial resem-
bling that used on a weighing machine
BY an ingenious arrangements of
springs attached to the waist of the
figure the exact value of a hug in
pounds avOirdupois can be estimated to
nicely BY its use Prof. Stringer
hopes to develop to the proper ex-
tent the arms of those young men
whose hugs have hitherto lacked
strength, while at the same time the
machine will enable him to keep a
watch upon those muscular persons
who are unaware, perhaps, of the en-
ergy they are employing. These will
be warned of their excess and will be
shown the proper amount of pressure
to exert. They will then be exercised
upon the machine until they are per-
feet in the art. Prof. Stringer men
tons the sad case of a young man
not a student of the college-who, up
on being accepted by the young wo-
man to whom he was paying atten-
tions cracked three of her ribs in his
misguided efforts to be affectionate.
Prof Stringer says the incident affect
ed him so much that he at once set
about the invention of machine
which should obviate such accidents
in the future.
Would Prevent Unhappy Marriag es.
Prof. Brooks says that the result of
his observations shows that there are
30 900, 900 married people in the United
States. The majority of these, says
the founder of the College of Court
ship. are unhappy; they are enduring
the life rather than enjoying it. This,
he believes, is a condition which could
be entirely prevented if the 100000
had been graduated from his institu-
ton.
The College Of Courtship at Atwood,
Tenn, is now open fol the reception OF
students. either for the regular or
post graduate course. The latter, nee
essarily, is for married people. i 1t is
designed to show quarrelsome couples
the errors of their ways by causing
them to take a special course OF in
struction in good temper. Prof
Brooks says he expects there will be
a great demand for the graduates of
his college. Several scholarships will
be granted to deserving young people
who do not yet know how to make
love.