Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-06-12
BY Jay
GETCHER
QUINN.

that serpent's legs were pulled.
The main difference between the
intoxication of love and Of bug juice
is in it's effect. The man full OF
whiskey wants to climb on the roof
and announce TO the natives that he
is in town The victim of love wants
to hide away and write poetry for the
magazines, to the imminent danger OF
driving busy editors insane, And
when they are caught, one is sem
fenced to do ten days and the other
to do the chores for woman's board.
And yet, while temperance is good
thing in it's way, the man who is tenn
perate in love is not to be trusted.
It can't be done, no more than pow
der magazine can blow up in INSTALL
ments, and | doubt whether there is
a Kelley cure or any other cure for
this sort of. intemperance. unless it
lie trip to Utah.
What a palatable mix-upthis would
make being three signs seen in drug
store window the other day:
POROUS PLASTFRS.
ICE CREAM SODA.
BED BUG POISON.
NV old friend Robt. Scott told a
good one on himself the other day.
When he and his good wife were
whirling across the country aboard
train on their way to Wisconsin from
the old country in an early day they
beheld scores of yellow pumpkins in
a corn field by side of the track. In
that age pumpkin was rarity in
the old country and Mr.. and Mrs.
Scott had never before seen one. The
nearest thing they had ever seen re-
sembling ripe pumpkin was an
orange and Bobby in looking at the
big yellow fellows was awed at the
sight and exclaimed: ''Gracious,
lass, just look at the size of those
oranges, will you? This is indeed
great country
People of various chimes have varl-
Gus tastes and notions and even in
Wisconsin we find a large number of
people with very queer habits. We
have people in Lancaster who get up
at four o'clocki in the morning to
take a walk in the bracing air to OBJ
tain an appetite for the mornings re-
past. There are others who get up
this early because they are dry, but
the latest is habit gotten into by
one Of our business men and his bet
ter half. They go to bed each even
ing early and wake up about twelve
O'Clock and cannot go to sleep again
unless they eat onions. Now that they
are confirmed onion eaters and every
night bushel Of onions are brough
into their bedroom and at the mid
night hour onion lunch is served.
I heard young man of twenty re-
mark the other day: "You can't get
work around here if you pay for it. :"
Now this is not true for every day
farmers are asking for men for six or
eight months and are paying from
500 to $25 per month with board,
washing and lodging thrown in. But
farm work does not seem to invite
the attention of many young men.
Thep had sooner take SIS a week to
drive delivery wagon and pay two
thirds of it for board than to work
where they could save money: II
these boys would only stop to think
that they can make double the money
on farm they would go and pitch in
for a few years and have a good HON e
of their own.
shady spot beneath the trees attracts
loving pair.
And down they sit with arms entwtned,
O. they are wOn'd rOuS fair;
They heed them not the grassy SOIL or scan
So do not note the many ants tha:s come to
see them spark.
At first they watch the moving show and
think it rather neat.
But suddenly they comprehend it's some
thing good to eat;