The Minneapolis journal., 1902-08-19
The NonpareiI Man
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Casually Observed.

One of the members of the isthmian canal
commission, Professor Emory R. Johnson of
the University of Pennsylvania, thinks that
the Panama canal will be in running order
by JAM 1. 1914, the date set for the compile
tion of the paving operations at Hennepin
avenue and Eleventh street.
Mary MacLane says she saw man In Chi
cago that she might love. We were passing
through Chicago at that time, but 1t was on
Sunday. Besides, we had our fingers
crossed.
Mr.. Goodnow is fixing up tariff for his
celestial friend, John. Our Chinese friend
should carry horsechestnut In his pocket.
The Chicago Inter Ocean finds the demo-
cratic party Of to-day "a disorganized ap-
petite" The silver cure ruined its digestive
apparatus.
Professor Willis l. Moore, the government
weather editor, who recently discredited the
long-distance weather prophet, has just as
sailed the moon as weather indicator.
That's all right, but all the moons this sum-
mer have been "wet moons just the same.
Z Amos Yellow-H Hawk, an educated Carlisle
Indian, returned to the reservation and
eloped with Mary Ann g-Woman, wife of
them and Yellow-Hawk is spending sixty days
in the guardhouse for meditation.
Government reports show that $4,000 Scan-
dinavians have emigrated to the United States
in the last nine months. King Oscar will
have to nail his peninsula down or It will
float across.
l. Muzzafar- d-Din, the Shah of Persia,
sounds much as If his majesty has partaken
$sof the, ,colored water that entangleth.
T. A French government engineer claims that
the religious bodies atgLourdes are palming
Sgrotto water. People who" have been cured
by the river water Will have to reconsider
and get sick again.
Mr.. Schwab will have to retire. 1t is
enough to make anyi one "batty' to draw 4
million dollars a year! As Uncle Bllery would
say lit amt natural"
some accurate work on the statistics Of
badness has been done by ex-Controller Fitch
of New York city, who reached the brilliant
and indisputable conclusion that dome OF
thought bereft of its foliage is mark Of in
telleot. Mr. Fitch says:
In the last year of my incumbency as con-
troller my curiosity 1mpelled me to inquire as
to the hair of the paupers that had been sent
to the county poorhouse. Out Of 8,793 paupers
who had come under the charge of the county
that year there was only one bald headed
man, and he had been scalped by the Indians.
Health Commissioner P. NJ. Hall Of Min.
neapolls and DR.. c. NJ. Bracken, secretary
of the state board Of health, are very cross
at each other over some alleged tuberculous
cows in the township Of. Mound. In the con-
troversy Dr.. Bracken wrote his professional
brother these unkind words: "You mind
your own business and will attend to mine. -
Anger is known to be very dangerous to
health, and here are two health boards with
their thoughts sadly clouded by anger! Why
not give the tuberculous cattle the balloon
cure at the combined expense Of the state
and county? In the interest Of watching this
experiment, the heat Of the controversy might
pass off. The expense of a balloon for each
cow might be large, but the results would
Justify it. -
David Tenney, prominent society man OF
Minneapolis is mayor of Lone Tree, N. D.
Since his incumbency of the mayors chair
1S~11 tod frr