The Savannah morning news., 1902-05-31
FRESH HIBERNIANIsMs.
Good Things which Would NOt Have
Been So Well Said ii .aid More |

From the London Spectotar
! notice that The Spectator delivers
itself from time to time of patches
of Irish anecdotes. 1t occurs to me,
therefore, that you may allow me to
turn over my mental tables for some
Hibernianisms. as you once called
them, which 1 have come across from
time to time, and which I hope your
readers will agree are too good to be
lost.
My first story is one of the late
Queen On her return from her last
visit to Northern Italy, the Bishop of
Winchester and the Dean of Windsor
were dining with her when she remark
ed to the former: You remember
that before l started for Italy you
urged me not 20 fail to visit the con-
Ventual church at Assist. l bore this
in mind, and was greatly impressed by
all saw there. had one droll exper-
fence, too. For as was being conduct
ed through a. very chilly corridor by
one of the monks 1 said to him: Don't
you often feel the draughts very try
iEg, wearing the tonsure as you do?'
l received my answer not in Italian,
but in these words: No, Madam; 1
can't say that l suffer IN that way at
all AS you must be aware. we Irish
are a rather hotheaded race"
l pass from i Regal to a Viceregal
anecdote: When the Earl of Carlisle
became Lord Lieutenant and the posi-
ton of Court physician had to be filed,
DR.. HIS was recommended for the
appointment, but by strange blunder
the official letter confirming it reached
another Dublin medico of the same
name. The revocation of the appoint
ment was impossible, but the doctor
originally marked out for it was also
appointed Court physician. He was a
man of great urbanity. The doctor
who had been mistaken for him had
very far from courtly manners The
Dublin wits at once saw their oppor-
UNITY, and nicknamed them Silky
H--s' and "Sulky HIS"
Another story of Dublin Castle: "Mr
A--C-, Lord Carlisle's wittiest aide
de camp, was i'll in bed one day. and
seems to have lost his temper with one
OF the servants. A meeting in aid of
THE Sick and INDECENT Roomkeepers''
was going on in neighboring building.
and he presently heard the following
dialogue little way down the passage:
And who were you bringing the bre
quest to Blddy?"
only to that sick and indignant
roomkeeper, Mr.. c.
Another of Lord Carlisle's Viceregal
court: Or. H, who possessed a very
pronounced snub nose, used to tell this
story against himself: when I was
dispensary doctor down in the country
he spoke as Dublin physician in
good practtce-"I was once mounting
my horse when an old beggar woman
began Fostering me for money. I was
In hurry to be off, and perhaps show
ed my impatience of her importantly
In TOO marked a manner She sud-
denly stopped begging and thus deliv-
cred herself, very deliberately, before
the group of hotel hangers-on who
were standing to see me off: Well
the Lord preserve yer eyesight for the
dlvll nose We have to noun the specs
upon. The unexpectedness of the
above retort of course constitutes its
strength. 1t was. in fact, a curse in
the disguise of a blessing.
/ Here are. few samples of the alb
surdities arising out of the extreme
simplicity of some Irish folk: A young
man came to confess to an Irish priest
in London whose experiences of the
humors of his fellow countrymen would
NIL a DOCK. We'll, my man." said the
priest, land how do you earn your liv-
ing?"
I'm an acrowbat. your reverence"
The priest was nonplused.
Il II show We what mean in a brace
OF snakes" said the penitent, and in
moment was turning himself inside
out in the most approved acrobatic
fashion in and out of the pews.
An old woman who had followed him
to confession looked on Mortified.
When it comes to my turn. Father"
she gasped, for the love of God don't
put penance on me like that it 'ud
be the death of mel"
l think it was the same good Father
Who observing that regular attendance
at a Lent Mission had done nothing to
reform one of his parishioners, told
him so, and asked him the reason of it.
All! Father" he replied, Il can man
age the faith right enough, but the
morals bate me-"
On another occasion this priest was
called upon to marry a man of whom
he knew nothing to a girl of his con-
gregatlon On investigation he found
the would-be bridegroom's knowledge
Of the Catholic faith very limited.
Have you ever been baptized?" he
asked
well, Father, can't trust me mem
DRY to that"
Are your parents living?"
The mother is"
Let's have her address"
rms was given, and a telegram dis
patched to the old lady on the spot
reply paid. The answer came in due
course: 'Vaccinated, but not bap-
TIED"
The late Lord Morris was full of le-
gal stories, but the following did not
belong to his budget: A case of as
sault came before a Kerry Court. In
the course of it the counsel for the de-
tense when examining a witness for
the prosecution, asked: "And you say
the man who assaulted you is blind. or
is as good as blind?'
Yes, SIR
Then how came he to get into the
scrimmage?"
Wherever he heard the blows goin' he
slipped in, feelin for a vacancy, and
when he found it, he let fly a good
wan"
But you said just now that there
was a storm of thunder and lightning
going on at the time"
There was so, yer honor"
Then suppose it got darker and
darker?"
"Thrue for you counsellor!"
And you say this man was nearly
blind; surely the darkness would have
made him quite so?'
Not at all, sir. Contrariwise, every
time a flash of lightin' come, he
shthruck out and hit me in the eve"
1T was raining, too, 1 suppose?"
1T was so. sir"
Perhaps, then, as you are so ex-
act, you'll tell the gentlemen of the
jury the size of the drops of rain"
Il will. thin; to the best of me reel
lection they varied in size from a shill-
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