The Savannah morning news., 1902-03-24
UNCLE MlNG0 ON EXTRADI.
TON.


'ginst dem contractor fellers. 1 Won
der wy dey don't go ahead an finish
it up"
You talks like wooden injun ci-
gar man." said Uncle Mingo; you
mus know dere's money cen dat bust
ness, an a heap OBJ it, an dem people
amt goin to be in no hurry to win
it up, for witch 1 sees no 'casion to
blame 'em. 'Spose you was a doctor
an you had rich ole lady patient wot
didn't hab nothin' de matter 'cep' bout
half-a-dozen imagination diseases, an
she keep you on de trot to de tune
o bout two hundred dollars a mont
would you be cen a hurry to cure her
OBJ dem innercent atflictions?"
"N-no," said the waiter. Il spec
not"
"Cose you wouldn't" said Uncle
Mingo. We'll, dem lawyer fellers has
got jis' as much regard for de welfare
oh DER family as you has for yourn."
Il wonder wot make dem chaps run
off to Canidy?" said the waiter.
'Dey done it very public" said
Uncle Mingo; eat leas' OATS wot one
o dem say. We amt nebber conceal
no movement he say. We gone from
New York tellin' ebblebody right up
an down we was goin' to Savannah.
l tell my little boy he say, if anybody
come TO AK after me to jis' crack de
do say Pa is gone to Savannah, Geor-
gy, an den. slam de do shet Could
anything be mo- pubhcker?' he say.
Min he say, we nebber say witch
route we was gOin' to take to Savan-
nah, an as we had plenty O. time
we lowed we would go by de
way oh Candy an de Mort Pole. How
somebber,' he say, wen we git to Can
idy dey tell us it wasn't de proper
season to trabel by way O. de Mort
Pole, so dey 'suade us to stop a vile.
But sence we's here he say, we is
spendin' fibe or six dollars day, witch
dem Canucks amt custom to seem
so much money, an dey press us so
urgent not to quit dem right off, dat
we has sacrifice our own wishes an
desires to keep our ointment wild de
cote cen Savannah. MoreOber,' he
say, I'VE has, quite by accident, form
de 'quaintance oh some lawyers here
wot make it DER business to keep fell
lers here wot is anxious to go home,
or maybe somebody else is anxious
for dem to do so, it's all de same. In
fac he say, 'ebblebody an ebbleting
is so pressin' an comfortable dat we
has about conclude to remain cen dis
climate permanent
you tink de Candy lawyers kin
keep emf" asked the waiter.
No" said Uncle Mingo, ct t'inlS
OATS Were dey'll fin dey has miss DER
Dip If de cali for 'em was to say, We
| wants two fellers wot run away from
Savannah wild a street car franchise
or else a ,suckelatin' liberty de big
bug ober dere would look up from his
desk, skin up his eyebrow, an say,
'Awi WEAKLY? Savannah, you say?
Were is dat place. anyhow If de call
was to say, De state of Georgy want
you to SEN back a couple o. fellers
wot hab abscon wild a nomination for
Gubbernor or maybe a conwic' labor
contrac',' he would say, 'Georgy?
Georgy? o, yaas, OATS a province
blong to Uncle Sam way down yander.
Tell 'em very sorry, but we
carn't fin nothin like dat on de
books
But it won't be like dat. Uncle
Sam will jis' drop a little note to de
King OBJ Candy. Dear Ed You has
ober dere two chaps wot 1 is very de-
sirous OBJ gittin'. It's me dat wants
'em, an wants 'em quick so please SEN
'em along widout no circumlocution
nor characterization; nor l don't want
no hab-his-cOrpus nor corpus-criSti
nonsense neider.' Den Uncle Sam will
say to hiself, 'Dat'H fetch 'em, cause
Ed know I'll git mad if he keep 'em,
an won't let him come an play cen
my back yard no mo-. He know very
we'll dat me an Billy de Kid has been
tradin' marbles lately, an if I git mad
wild him, I'll hab Billy for my bes'
frien. Me an Billy will holler down
our rain-barl; I'll say, "Hello!" an
Billyn say, "Hock!" an We'll hab lot
O. fun, an all Ed kin do will be to
peek troo a knot-hole cen de fence
30, yes" continued Uncle Mingo,
you mark wot I say. Dey'H be bum
| die ober here so quick it'll make DER
head SWIM
"And wen dey come" said the wait
er. "wot will dey do wild 'em?"
pats Were you got me-" said I'm
| Gle Mingo: 81 dunno. Dey is said to
has made few billions O. money outen
de gubberment, an I unnerstan' dey is
| charge wild conspirin' to de fraud. How
ehber dat may be, / amt nebber see
nohodv vet wot wouldn't be only too
| Glad TO git a chance to make whole
! LOT o. money outen de gubberment.
! WV. de woods is full o.
people wot's gone an MAKE
forchune out de gubberment,
on, vet STAINS at de berry top O. de
| ladder wild nobody to bodder dem nor
make 'em afeard. One Teller had a sta
| bIn full O. mules he was tryin' his
| bardes' TO sell at bout sebenty-fbe
| dollars a head. Gubbernment chap
| come long. Want some mules for de
army. wot you akin for 'em? Imme-
| iitly de price has rlz. DENIS me
! mules. sab, he say, couldn't part wild
| ON for less dan a hundred an seben-
tv-fbe dollars apiece All right, L
| takes de lot, here's your money In
| bout six monts he come back. Here.
| 7 would like to sell you desc mules
| hack again, got no furder use Tor EN-.
! DE price O mules take a sudden drop,
| couldn't possible pay more dan bout
! +irtv-one dollars an a quarter. All
! right: gimme de money; here's your
| mules
"Anudder Teller got ship. A CUB
| berment chap come long. Look here,
| he saw, we wants dat vessel, how
! much? OATS a VERY useful piece o
| property say de owner; I couldn't glib
| II away for less dan TO hundred an
| sixtv-fibe sousan dollars All right,
here's your money Bout year after
| he come roun' again. Don't you want
10 buv de ship back?' he say, it's cen
| fine condition, an we has put a lot oh
! ;mprovements Wonderful how weak
| de market is for ships. Couldn't by no
means pay no mo- dan forty-two tou-
! can, fbe hundred dollars All right,
| it's go An so ebbleting goes.
.Naybe, dough- suggested the
waiter. now dat dey pears to be
| maxim a start, dey'll come down on
| ali dem udder fellers too"
"Tse been tinkin' dat same ting
.,id frncle Mingo. IAN it worries me