The Savannah morning news., 1902-02-09

| AitdlVldSN are just du eplSOut III II
! life. They are woman's whole ex-
istence. and If anybody is to get what
they want, and the companion that just
exactly suits their taste, she is the one
! who ought TO have II. 1t is much more
| important for a woman to be pleased In
| a life partner than il is for the man.
| Every happy woman makes a happy
home. II Is the woman who married
the man she could get, instead of the
one she wanted, who becomes dissatis-
| ffed and Grass and high tempered and
disagreeable, and makes her home a
| place of torment instead of peace.
But, as Mr. Cleveland once observed
about another matter. il is a condition,
and not theory, that confronts us.
Men have the sole privilege of propos-
! ing, and uncommonly badly they do 1t.
Every woman looks forward to being
wooed in a romantic manner in Booth
| Harrington language, and when man
hurls commonplace question at her in
any old way and place, she feels that
| she has been defrauded of the poetry
of life. Most women, when their sweet
hearts pop the question, burst into
/ tears. The man thinks she is weeping
for joy at the prospect of getting such
a good thing but she isn't, She is weep
ing because he was Such a chump he
bungled the situation and put his great
1
dreams of her girlhood.
This isn't intentional on his part, Of
/ course. It's just plain stupidity, but no
woman ON earth ever watched a man
| conducting a courtship, even when she
was the stake in it. without feeling like
| the professional who stands behind an
amateurs chair and has to bite his
| tongue to keep from giving the blum
derer points about how to play the
| game.
| In the first place, she would tell him
| that a womans heart is a fort, and
| there are two ways of attacking it.
/ either one OF which is almost inva-
| riably successful. The first is by storm.
| The man who let's nothing deter him.
who doesn't take a back seat for any
rival, or give one moments thought
| to any obstacle who loves a woman
| and is determined to have her at any
cost, always gets her. There is some
thing primitive and savage In his
courtship that appeals to her imagi-
| nation, and when you have captured
| a womans imagination, every thing
| is over but the trip to the altar.
| On the other hand the shy lover Is
| a foredoomed failure. In her heart
| every woman has a contempt for a
man who wants a thing and hasn't
| the nerve to ask for 1t, and when the
bashful man wins out 1t is because
he has some tremendous charm Of In
| tellect or pocketbook or social position
to cOunterbalance his hesitation and
| timidity. Men gain nothing by burn
| ing incense at woman's feet. She
| wants to look up and not down. Make
| her belieVe that she is goddess, and
! she will say NO" Convince her that
you are little tin god, and she will
| jump at the chance to say YES" and
share your halo.
once knew one of these shy, hum
| bic, adoring lovers who let a pretty
| girl play fast and loose with him for
years. She let him keep her in candy
and flowers and books and take her to
the theater,, and by way of reward she
| gave him the flag ends of dances and
| let him come to see her when there
wasn't anybody else. Finally. how
ever. the worm turned He got his
back up. and one day read the riot act
| to my lady and laid down his ultima
! tum. If she intended marrying him
she must do ii then and there. other
wise 1t was all off, and she would
never see him more. The bluff worked
perfectly. She knocked right under.
You dear old goose" she said. IT
| would nave married you any time
these last three years IL you had only
made me-"
If one way TO win a woman's heart
is to take it by bold attack. the 9th
| er, equally az effective Is by laying
patient siege to it. The man who can
camp on woman's trail year after
| year, who is always on deck with his
standing offer, marries her ninety
nine times out OF a hundred. The con-
tinual dropping of affection will soft
en- heart of stone, and no matter
how scornful she was at first or how
decisive her refusal, she gives in in
the end. The patient besieger has many
| things in his favor For one thing. by
imperceptible degrees he establishes a
kind OF quarantine around the woman
that drives away other suitors. For
another, the woman unconsciously
grows into a kind OF dependence on
him. Then some day he judiciously
removes himself. and she finds out that
there is gap IN her life that only he
can fill, and calls him back. No man
need abandon hope Of winning the wo-
man he wants II she is on his side OF
the altar.
One reason that many men are un-
successful in their love affairs is that
they never stop TO consider whether
woman's Yes" or mo" depends
on her mood and the time. Many a
woman suddenly discovers that she is
in love with a man because
the moonlight is shimmering on the
water, and the sound OF music pulsing
on the air. VINO would have secuted
the very idea OF such a thing an hour
before.
/ know charming and beautiful
young woman who is wrestling unsat-
isfactorily and unsuccesEfully with a
career" and who is deeply loved by
a worthy but unimaginatlve young
businessman.
aWby don't you and John get mar
ried?" ] asked her the other day.
Because he hasn't got sense enough
10 propose az the right time" she re-
piled with comieal disgust. "He al
ways comes and pops the question
when have on a becoming new frocK.
or have just had a good dinner or a
bit of good luck and / feel big and
strong enough to fight the world sin
gle-handed. n he would only just
come In the twilight. when I am tired
and worn. and everything has gone
against me and I don't want 10 do
anything but just put my head down
on some mans shoulders and cry n
out and have his strong arms around
fne. I'd be 20 glad 10 marry him right
on the spot"
OF course there are a lot Of "don'ts"
IN cOurtship that women would like 90
cal mems attention 90. The chief OF
which ~. don't propose by letter. A
proposal that comes By mail ia "a plain
business proposition that any woman
Nlth q grain ~ sentiment ln her must
sons she thinks n best tO accept A
man who writes his love instead Of
Hhipera ~ lF capable ~ marrying "A
.IaN.