The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-07-10
SPOKEN IN JEST.

Boston Transcript: Barnes-Manning's
house was broken into last night. and a
lot of jeweiry and silver plate carried off
Shed-You don't mean it.
Barnes-It was a bad break; but for
tunately the burglars did not go into the
cellar; if they had they would have made
a fine haul. It was only the day before
that Manning got in fifteen tons of coal.
9 g @
Brooklyn Life: But if you will allow me
She-Oh! know what you are going to
say, but you're quite mistaken and can
prove it.
Detroit Free Press: Mother-I am sur
prised, Ethel, that you should talk so i'm
pertinently to papa. LIN sure you never
heard me talk that way to him"
Ethel-WeH, you ehoosed him, and I
Life: Blonde Bridesmaid-The us1rers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with the
other Bridesmaid (sister to the bride)-
No; she sent only pickle fork!
Harvard Lampoon: Mike-Say, Pat,
phwat is a wather-shpaniel?
Pat-Sure, he must be some rilitiv av
thin ocean grayhounds we read about.
q @ g.
Chicago News: MiIes-Isn't il queer
that a mans ears are placed in such a
way that he can hear only the sounds in
front of him?
Gnes-Nothing queer about it at all A
merciful providence never intended that a
man should hear what is said behind his
back.
Judge: Gobang-Do you use a field
glass when you go to the races?
Grymes-No; | do not go much on style.
A bottle is good enough for me.
Los Angeles Herald: Fond Parent
Why in the name of gumption is that kid
NpX6Orp'S Yelling around " ard
Fond ParenteSs-Why, Georgei I'm
SURPRISED at. you! That is our own little
Gladys singing
Fond Parent-Oh.
Philadelphia Press: Miss Koy-The
house next door was robbed last
ing all around this neighborhood.
Mrs koy-Gracious, They'll be after
US next. What shall we do?
Miss Koy-SuppOse you let me and Mr..
Huggard sit up several nights and watch
for them.
Philadelphia Press: Have you really
no affection for any other girl, dear?'
she asked of her fiance.
No replied the drug clerk. absent
mindedly. but have something just as
good"
9 q g
Norristown Herald: St. Peter-Were
you a member of any church?
Spirit-NO. But I bought tickets for
all the church suppers and strawberry
festivals.
ST. Peter-Come in
e 81 9
Chicago News: Il see,' remarked the
fluffy-haired boarder who earns Sc per
manipulating the typewriter keys that
a prominent physician recommends ice
cream because of its peculiar medical
qualities"
Yes" butted IN the old bachelor at the
pedal extremity of the table. "a little ice
cream iudiciously mixed with bonbons
and matinee tickets has cured many a
case of heartbreak'
New York Journal: Footpad (overtak-
ing Smith on a lonely road)-Say, boss.
can yer help poor Teller that's hard up
this loaded revolver.
g @ .
Catholic Standard: Here's a problem
for you. If it takes nine tailors to make
man
The average fellows only ninth of
a man. eh2"
mo, 1 was going TO add: How many
taiior-made gowns viii it take TO break
him2'
Chicago Tribune: The train had been
compelled to stop at the small town a
few minutes on account of a hot box
Quiet little place you have here" re-
marked a passenger, sticking his head out
of a car window and looking around
quiet, said the native that was sit
ting on nail key on the station platform
and chewing tobacco. by gum Won
ought TO have been along here yesterday
There was more'n forty men novSin'
down weeds an KILN Canady thistles. =