The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-08-27

THE JERICHO POSTOFFICE.
Pap Perkins, Postmaster, Tells Fish
Story.


it was generally believed that he
couldn't tell a thing exactly az it was
that is. he was inclined to exaggerate.
If he heard that Dan Skinner had lost
a COW by death. he would stroll over
to the postofflce and make it q cow and
calf. and If he heard that Elder
Thomas has sold off fifteen sheep to a
butcher he would add three or four
pigs or dozen hens. Nobody exactly
laid this failing up against the deacon,
but as time went on 1t was felt that he
might become a liar IL something was
not done to make him see the error Of
his ways.
One day when the deacon had come
into town and remarked that he had
seen more than a thousand garter
snakes in a bunch alongside the high
way three or four citizens took him to
task and went back with him to view
the snakes Only four were to be
found. It was a good chance to read
him a moral lesson on the sin Of exag-s
gerating, and the deacon went home
with tears in his eyes. = 1t wasn't q
week after that, however, when he al
legged that he had seen 500 rabbits run
out of one hollow log. 1t did not take
long to show him how utterly impossi-
BILE it was for 500 rabbits to crowd
themselves into log twenty feet long.
and the deacon felt SO bad about it
that everybody pitied him.
Il thought I counted 500." he ex--
planned, but if there were only fifteen
rabbits in that log. then I must be los
ing my mind
He was caught in several other cases,
and it was finally noticed that he had
become much more careful in his state=
ments. At the same time, nevertheless,
he went about with scared look on
his face, and it was evident that he
was apprehensive of a calamity of
some sort. One evening, six months
after tie first move against Shim. IDea-.
con Spooner came to town and drove
right to the house Of Preacher Will
lams. When the good man asked him
what he had on his mind, he replied:
You know. I've got pond on my
farm. It's only an acre in bigness and
not over two feet deep, and / never
saw a fish ia it until today. Then /
naw an nro o,a socker ha OF sh unsr nane
weighed at least five pounds. and how
on earth he ever got into that pond is
more'n I can tell. 1 come to ask you
II I'd better say ANYTHING about it to
mo. wouldn't" replied the preach
er. What time was 1t when you saw
the fish?"
AN hour after noon"
Had you been drinking any currant
wine or hard cider?"
Not drop"
Sure 1t couldn't have been board
or limb floating about?"
LAS sure as live. That was a live
fish. and a big one. and I'll take my
dying oath on it. Don't you think the
postofnce crowd would believe me. par
SOM"
Hardly. You see. there couldn't be
no big fish in your pond. It's only a
horse pond. I should keep still and not
say word"
IT'S going to be hard to do it, said
the deacon as he prepared to leave
"but I'll have to keep my mouth shut
I don't want folks to think I'm liar
Mebbe it was only log after ALL
But the deacon was back next night
and the troubled look in his eyes had
increased. He could hardly keep his
"Parson. I saw that fish again this
afternoon. He's there as true as you
live. He's an old seeker Of a mullet,
and he's making hisself right to home
in my pond"
"Umr' says the parson as he puts on
a very serious look. Deacon. do you
think your eyesight is falling your"
mot a bit of It.. I can see obed
Johnson's red barn three miles away"
"And how many drinks Of hard cider
| do YOU take a day?"
only three. and they wouldn't hurt
| a fly"
And does your mind seem to be
c1ear2" =
back 40 years as plain as day."
And you insist that you have seen
| this fish two days running?"
II have. and I'll bet my farm on II"
/ ell, It's very singular LQlnS,
says the parson. land 1 can't under
stand it. Seems to me I should consult
| a doctor. At any rate don't say a
| word to any one else about It,"
would they think was lying? ask
| ed the deacon.
I'm afraid they would Indeed.
know they would. You'd better drink
| buttermilk and calm your mind as
much as possible, and perhaps the WIS.,
ion will go away. OF course there is no
| fish there"
The deacon went away meaning to
| keep his secret, but he called at the
| postoffice Just as the crowd was talk
| ing about fishing and just as Moses
Anderson was telling about catching a
six pound sucker In river in Indiana.
| The good man couldn't hang on to him.
| self after that but told of the mullet
| in his horse pond. The crowd heard
| him through, and then every man
| groaned and sighed and shook his head,
and Daniel Abercrombie got up and
| felt Of the deacon's head and burst into
tears and said:
..Boys, he's lost his mind and will have
to be sent to an insane asylum! Let's
shake hands with him for the last time. =
The deacon tried to laugh 1t off, but
he couldn't. He drove home with shiv-
ers racing up and down his back, and
when he'd put out his team he went inte
the house and said to his wife:
You and Zed will have to run thu
farm after this. I've got wheels in my
| head
He had no more interest in things, and
ten days later he lay down for an after.
noon nap and was found dead. Every
! body said it was a case where his MIND
| had given out. but three or four day.
| after the funeral tin oeddler cams
along and heard the talk and said:
You say the deacon said he saw Z
fish in bis horse pond?"
That's what he said" was replied
and it was a big one?''
AN old socker of a mullet."
well. how do you know he didn't p
Because there was no fish there t,
see."
"Mebbe there was now. Why dom
you go over and investigated"
The idea was declared a good one
and a dozen men drove out to the dea
cons pond. They had scarcely reaches
there as right could be. and he wa
even bigger than the deacon had de
clared. He was caught and hauled out
and men looked askance at each othe
and felt they had driven Deacon Spoon