Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1902-08-05
SHORT STORY FOR
EVENING HOURS
WHEN DAD ENJOYED HIMSELF

81 wish | had known my dad when
he was Kid" said the boy, instead
of knowing him now when he's growly
most of the time. He was the real
thing. He was hot stuff then.
81 know II because l heard dads
month, that's my grandmother, whis.
per to my mother, Why, John was a
regular little devil when he was a boy.
He was just full Of fun, and can't see
for the life Of me what makes him so
glum all the time now
That's what my grandmother said
when she and ma got to talking about
dads sober ways. And ma said she
knew II, and that the old man was jol.
ly enough when he was counting her.
She didn't say old man of course. but
that's what she meant all right be-
cause I've heard her say lots of times
that d4ls the only man that ever
courteS her. and then dad always says
that she's the only girl he ever court.
ed. And then they both try to get
cheerful over that and tell each other
that all they need is a little fun.
THE old man and ma spend hours
every night arguing over being jolly.
| hear 'em in the next room after I've
gone to bed. They talk low, thinking
they won't wake me, and it's awful sol.
emn, they generally spend the first
half hour in asking each other II any.
things the matter except being just
tired or having a headache. They ask
II all over in a doze Indifferent ways
and tell each other in another dozen
ways that they amt blue and haven't
got anything special on their minds to
worry about.
Then ma says: Well, you're glad
you're married?' as If she kinder didn I
think so, and dad always says, OF
course. Are you? And ma says, i
guess ! am with lot of ginger in her
voice. She's got lots more snap in her
than dad has, but has to hold In. and
I'm more sorry for her than for the old
man. She wants to tickle him in the
robs or throw q sofa pillow at him or
fool with him some other way just to
liven him up some, but she doesn't
dare. She might as well be in church
all the time. ;
We'll. when they tell each other that
they're glad they're married anyhow
that's usually the end of the first
round. | always know just what dad &
going to say next. he says, What we
need Is little real fun and may says,
That's so. What will we do? This
happens most every night. Then they
get to talking about having fun and
that usually puts me to sleep--the
ways dad thinks up for having fun.
Mas just dying to go to the theater or
the opera. but the old man can't seem
TO catch on. He blurts right out the
first thing when, ma says where will
they go with saying that they must go
somewhere In the country.
That's always the end of the first
of the second round. The next thing
dad does every night is to get out a
lot OF bum old maps. Maps is the only
thing he's really 'em to pick out place
to go toTand | spose he really thinks
that's what he's doing, but faint so.
His fun is just in looking at 'em.
Think of having fun with geography!
Now just what do 20 uthink OF a man
like that? Why, dad and ma have
travelled millions Of miles on those
maps sitting on the couch, but that's
the only way they get anywhere.
He'll begin by asking ma how she'd
like Nova Scotia for instance. She
says 'twould be lovely. She'll say al.
most anything to get him going and
cheered up a little. Then he's Just
mean enough to pretend Nova Scotia
is her idea and he'll say: Well, II you
are set on going there, I'll get
months vacation and well try II. !
guess twould do us good and the kids
old enough to enjoy trip like that
now The kids me.
Then dad measures off places In
Nova Scotia or whichever place he's
picked out for that night, with a lead
pencil and lays the pencil down on
that little line in the corner with lit.
tie feelers on II that looks like a worm
On its back, to see how many miles of
one place Is from another. II it's less
than a hundred miles he generally
says: Now, II would be very interest.
ng to walk that distance and see the
as We go along. How would
you like to take tramping trips? And
ma says 1t would be lovely II her feet
iidn't trouble her so.
That usually makes the old man a
little GUNNER than he was before, be.
'ause he hasn't got corns himself and
he feels sure that she doesn't take
enough exercise. Then he starts out
about riding all the way
md begins to figure out the farces and
he time tables. 1t wouldn't be any fun
It all for dad for somebody to tell him
light out fiat-footed what the fare real. |
was. He wants to fill up three or
our sheets of paper figuring 1t out for
limself. Next to maps dad likes fig |
Tres, and ] guess next to figures he |
likes to talk about beginning to take
ocular exercise.
We'll, when dad gets to figuring ma
slips into my room, where
ad can't see her, and yawns three or
our times. Then she goes back and
SKIS him If he thinks they can AFFORD
!. She just does that to keep the
I'M going for dad, for it starts him