davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
A Funeral Joke.

At the funeral of lawyer of State
reputation, who lived and practiced in
a town not far from Philadelphia. and
who was known among his friends
thereabouts as an unbelieyer. an emf
nent gentleman from Philadelphia
reached the house after the minister
had begun the sermon. Not knowing
how far the services had progressed.
he accosted a well-known Quaker of
the town, who was friend of the de-
ceased, and who was noted for his
great sense of humor, and. leaning over
his shoulder. asked in a whisper:
What part of the services have they
reached:'
To which the Quaker, without d
smile. replied:
Just opened for the defense. Phil
adelphia Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
.sMY GOOD MAN."
Sightseer Called Senator Haw1ey, Of
fering Him Quarter.

Sightseer Called Senator Hawley, Of
ferinS Him Quarter.
Senator Hawley was stopped by
ridors to-day. Two of the women
We're young and pretty. The third
was stately dame, who surveyed the
Senator through her lorgnette and said
patronizingly:
My good man, are you familiar with
the Capitol?"
Reasonably so." replied Senator
Hawley, Il have been here many
years"
well, we understand there is q
beautifully decorated room at this end
of the building. Can you direct us tC
it?'
Il presume you mean the Presi-
dents room," replied Senator Hawley.
''If you will come with me 1 shall be
very glad to show it to you"
The Senator led the party into the
residents room, explained the deco
rations and then said:
THE room of the Committee on Mill
tary Affairs Is very beautiful also.
Would you like to see that?'
They did want to see it and the Sem
ator took them there. After he had
exhibited the room he said:
Il think this is the handsomest room
in the Capitol. 1 am chairman of this
committee"
The three women nudged one an
other. When they reached the corri-
dor again the stately dame handed the
Senator a quarter and said:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

throats, each for its particular favor
ite, horses and riders round the quar-
ter-mile post, and from this point the
race is really won. Glasses are now in
the hands of eager spectators, who see
only flashes Of color along the back
stretch. They swing again into the
homestretch, and now the hoofbeats
keep time with the heartbeats, as the
race Is nearly done. There is brief
interval, and then. as the number of
the winner goes up on the judges
stand q tremendous burst Of applause
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

breaks from the crowd Men awarus
ont upon the track, the Immense floral
horseshoe is brought out, and Into II
the successful jockey is placed. to be
carried in triumph past the grand
stand and into the paddock to the
Jockey room. to be again cheered by
his comrades.
And in its enthusiasm the crowd
would carry Off the real winner-the
equine hero of the day.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
Making the Most OF 1t,

THAT diplomy is big one" said
the old man. ''an' cost a sight O. hard
earned money: but. long as you've
done got it, we nights we'll utilize it
fer all it's wuth. Take it back to 'cm,
in the left-han' corner that do black
smithn' cheap fer cash, an the.' amt
none kin beat me shoein' of !: GeOrgy
mule. eff l does say it myseIf""-At-
lanta Constitution.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
rhE eve WHO Has 4 SONG.

The cloudmaker says ii is going to storm,
And we're sure to have awful wealth
Just terribly wet. or cold, or warm,
Or, maybe. all three together;
But. while his spirit Is overcast
With the gloom of his dull repining.
The one with a song comes smiling past,
And, 10! the sun is shining.
The cloudmaker tells US the world is
wrong,
And is bound in an evil fetter,
But the blue-sky man comes bringing a
song
OF hope that shall make it better;
And the toilers. hearing his voice, behold
The sign Of a glad tomorrow,
Whose hands are heaped with the purest
gold
OF which each heart may borrow.
nixon Waterman in Success.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

that name IN story once, and always
wanted to try it on baby
"Oh.% murmured the second grand
mother, that would never do, Let us
call her 'Fanchon.
But don't you think 'Eltessa' is a
pretty name, and so odd, too?'" put in
one of the auntS.
poor father, who sat near by, but you
seem to forget what we are trying to
find name for a human being. and not
for a scent cigar. Baltimore Ameri-
c0p
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
you have done very nicely. Thank

IUu HHVe uUHe very nicely. 1nHnK
you very much
But, madam" expostulated Senator
Hawley, Pm Senator! Surely you
do not intend to offer me money!"
That's all right" said the woman;
that's all right. We understand these
little vanities on the part of the door
keepers and other attaches. You are
perfectly welcome to the money"
"Oh, perfectly!' re-echoed the pretty
young women. They swept away down
the corridor, and Senator Hawley came
into the restaurant holding the quar-
ter gingerly between a thumb and
finger. not knowing whether to swear
or NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Correspondence
New York World
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

l mean; and, anyhow, even If you can
whistle, l shall only marry some one
who Is awfully rich and who / love
awfully, so there"
Miss Marcella," called nurse. come
along quickly; we must take this turn
Ing. Now, say good-by to Master Rog-
er at once"
But Roger turned away. He would
not let his lady love see how much he
minded having his matrimonial plans
utterly disorganized, even If not alto
gether destroyed,
coner should be coming home just
now" said Mrs. Estart, in an aggriev-
ed tone.
why, my DEAR" asked her husband.
He was accustomed to his wife's griev-
ances and rarely noticed them: but he
did not understand why she should
mind the son of his old friend and
neighbor, Falconcr. being on the way
home.
20, you men are SO dense. replied
the lady, sharply. Why! Because
of Marcella, of course. Here she Is.
%. not married, and evidently not
wanting to be. Here is Mr.. Pender-
ton rich. desirable In every way-rath-
-r old perhaps. but that is no draw
back-madly in love with her, and no
other man near to try TO supersede
him.
Now, we hear this young FalcOner
is coming back. He is about Marcella' $
age. | have heard he is good looking,
and he is probably as poor as mouse.
Who knows what complications may
arise, especially as Marcella has such
extraordinary ideas? OF course. they
haven't met for years-not since they
were children. in fact-and | shall try
to prevent their seeing much OF each
other, at any rate till Marcellas en-
gagement to Penderton is un fait ac-'
compli."
"po speak English. dear" was all
Mr.. Estart replied to his wife's speech.
and she snapped her lips together and
left him.
John Penderton was 81. but he was
rich. and Mrs. Estart. into whose mind
the question of love never entered. saw
no reason why her daughter should not
marry him.
We are as poor as We can be, Mar
celia" she said, over and over again,
land as Mr.. Penderton Is so anxious
TO marry you. 1t is only your duty 10
consent"
But MarCella. with the optimism of
youth. thought that there were other
things than money worth considering,
especially as she must take it with a
padded. painted. bewigged wreck OF
what had once been handsome pleas
ure-loving man. Three times he had
proposed to her and been refused, but.
backed by Mrs. Estart and his $3.50. 900
a year. he did not despair. He was
their nearest-in fact. their only---ac-
quaintance in the lonely country place
where they lived, and Mrs. EStart
viewed with dismay the advent of 4
younger and better, though poorer. pos
sible rival
Roger Falconer had been at home for
three months AMI had seen. in spite OF
her mothers precautions. n great deal
of Marcella Estart. He could not help
remarking the anxiety of Mrs. Estart
and John Penderton to attain their
end. and it was only natural that with
the childish friendship to fall back mp
on, and dislike AT seeing girl urged
against her vii! 10 marry man old
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
Chicago correspondence:

5 | on g as the
American Derby
exists as the fea-
ture of Western
turf sport, breed
ing and racing in
tereStS in t b | 5
c o u n try, repre-
senting millions
of dollars in in
vestments, will be
certain Of popular
support. There are
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
No Resnecter of Persons.

The late Macintosh of Macintosh,
who, it may be well to explain, was
the chief of Scotch clan, was once
on visit to London. During his stay,
says the Candid Friend, he got into a
dispute with his cab-driver over the
fare.
"Perhaps you do not know-who
am," he said. at last, when all other
arguments had failed. Il am the
Macintosh"
Il don't care If you're the humber
ella, too" returned the unimpressed
cabby. 1.-THE fare is one and six, and
that's what I wants"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

entry against 1t of the lighting, time or
day, amount of exposure, etc. and also.
IL you are an expert at developing,
make a note of what kind of develop
ment you think will best suit the sub
ject. Don't forget, too, to have your
slides numbered, and make a note or
the number as part of your entry. Then
you won't be developing an ample ex-
posure when you think you have a
snapshot in the tray.
Don't make more negatives than you
can finish up comfortably. If you have
plenty on hand yet want a walk
through the woods and fields 60 with
out your camera. but don't forget to
take your notebook.
As to your prints, don't be satisfied
with one kind of paper for all sorts Of
negatives. Some will look better print
ed on the despised blueprint paper.
Others will look better In the rich
brown tones of the glossy solo. / have
picture of roses and carnations. They
look more alive and natural on this pa
per than on any other; yet as rule
don't like T. o. z. Others, especially
bold negatives. will give better results
on Eastman's Sepia than on anything
else; and 50 on. 1t Is a good idea in
many cases to keep in mind the paper
you think will best suit the subject, at
the time you are developing. You can
then make the negative bold or soft,
thin or dense as will best suit the cir
cumStanceS.
There are lots of hints along the same
lines that might be given, but they
must be kept for another time. But
whatever you do in photography do the
best that lies in you or throw your
camera on the scrap heap and start on
something else.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

to show that they are of real Derby
caliber. 1t is the best horse to win.
and naught could tempt owner, trainer
OF jockey from the strictest line Of hon
esty. Even royalty has been repre-
sented among owners who prize a
Derby winner above any other. Multi
millionaires from all sections of the
country. who willingly pay fabulous
prices for horses with which to win
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
Naming the Child.

Now. necessarily. when the new girl
baby arrived there was much discus
sion among the members of the family
as to what her name should be-
We will call her 'Geraldina.' said
the fond mother.
Why not call her 'Esmeralda q -
asked the first grandmother. Il saw
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
Truth Will Out.

Il suppose" said the physician. smil-
ing and trying to appear witty, while
feeling the pulse of a lady pa atient-
bug?"
Why, DOCTOR" replied the lady, Il
had no idea you could ascertain a wom-
ans thoughts by merely feeling her
pulSev'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
Famine Follows Death of Trees.

The famines in the interior of Russia
are coincident with decline in the hu-
midity, due in great measure to the de
struction of forests
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

Get some good wood and nail the
pieces together, making a tray the size
you wish. Then take some oil table
cloth. and fasten to the tops and sides
by means of tacks. This kind of tray
fully answers the purpose of the more
expensive trays for. washing, ironing
and fixing prints.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

word stronger than the law allows to
her preacher.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

1t is easy to have too much Of good
thing: two sweethearts at one time for
example.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20

If possible, do not associate with
those who anger you.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1902-06-20
MetaphOrical Heat.

'At this point she broke down and
shed scalding tears"
MY goodness! She must have been
fairly boiling over.'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13
somethinu That Will Do You Good.

We know of no way in which we can
be of more service to our readers than
to tell them of something that will be
of zeal good TO them. For this reason
Ne want to acquaint them with what
We consider one OF the very best
remedies on the market for coughs,
colds, and that alarming complaint,
Group. We refer to Chamberlain
Cough Remedy. We have used it
with such good results in our family
SO long that it has become a house
hold necessity, By it's prompt use we
haven't any doubt but that il has
time and again prevented Group.
The testimony is given upon our own
experience. and we suggest that our
readers, especially those who have
small children, always keep it in their
homes as a safeguard against Group. =
Camden Is. e. Messenger. For sale
by J. e. DAILY and Sam Church.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13
men 10 Paironize.

Dr. 0. I. Hougen, y. D. ONCE
over Days drug store. Telephone IS.
Dr.Chas. PomainTille, Dentist, Office
over Cohen's. Telephone No. 216.
DR.. T. PomainFilIe Office at Steib's
Residence west side. Tel. No. 248.
DR. d. A. Teller, dentist, office over
Wood County National bank Tele-
phone No. so, residence No. $50.
DR.. J. J. Looze, Grand Rapids. Office
in Wood Block, over drug store,
telephone No. 81. residence No. 246.
A. 3. Crawford, Dentist. Office
in Reiland building, Grand Rapids.
High grade service al reasonable fees.
Or. f. d. Humphrey, homeopathic
physician and surgeon. Office over
White Front Special attention
given to women and children and az!
chronic diseases. Office telephone
No. 254
Dir. W. d. Haryie. Office over John
son & Hill Cos store. specially Of eye.
ear, nose and throat. If
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13
The Wisconsin Central Railway

Maintains a daily train service be-
tween Chicago, Milwaukee, Manito-
voc, st. Paul, Minneapolis, Ashland
and Duluth, reaching Eau Claire, Chip
peWa Falls, Marshfield, Hurley, Iron
wood and Bessemer as we'll as the
principal points of Wisconsin enroute.
Connections with roads, running South
East, West and North are made at
terminal points. Pullman Sleepers
are attached to all night trains and
meals are served A La Carte. Any
agent of the Wisconsin Central Ry.
will be pleased to give you further in
formation. furnish tickets and reserve
sleeping car accommodations
JAS. G. POND, Gen. Pass. Agt.,
tt. Milwaukee, Wis
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

The new passenger depot of the G.
NJ. & st. Paul Railroad Co. in Wausau
is completed and ready for occupancy
1t is beautiful structure erected of
red brick and stone and possesses all
the modern conyeniences. just when
it will be occupied has not as yet been
announced. We, Of Grand Rapids
cannot understand just why Merrill
and Wausau should have new depots,
and this city sighted. That coin
pany has been in need of new depot
in this city for years and if they
expect their share of the business at
this point, they will be obliged to give
Us fine structure. equal to that in
WauSau, Or they will find a lack Of
patronage from this station.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

There is no more agonizing trouble
than piles DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salye cures piles at once. Unequalled
for skin diseases, cuts, burns, bruises.
wounds, J. s. Gerall. ST. Paul, Ark,
[ suffered for years with protuding.
bleeding piles and could find no relief
until few boxes of DeWitt's Witch
Hazel Salve completely cured me.
None are genuine but DeWitt's
Wood County Drug Co. OF Johnson &
IT 10
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13
Excursion Rates Via the Wisconsin Central.

The Wisconsin Central will sell on
Jan. to q, Feb. 4 to Is, homeseekers
tickets to points in the north, west
and south at a fare one way plus two
dollars for the round trip tickets good
q days from date of sale. For further
particulars apply at ticket Office.
G.. w. HODsON,
Agent.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

NJ. S. Pratt and Louis Shredder
carpenters are both busy this week
erecting shelving in the center Of the
Hamm store for the Heineman Mer-
camille Company. The tables hereto
fore used will be removed to make
room for this new shelving aud floor
show cases.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13
A Card.

We, the undersigned, do hereby
agree tc refund the money on SO
cent bottle of Greene's Warranted
Syrup OF Tar if it fails to cure your
cough or cold. We also guarantee a
% cent bottle to prove satisfactory or
money refunded. John E. DAILY or
johnson & Hill Co. Nov. 1m6.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

Herman Krumrei, an employe in the
better room of the John Edwards
Mfg. Cos. mill at Port Edwards,
while cleaning out one Of the boxes
fell astride one Of them in such way
that he received serious internal
injuries. He was brought to his
home in this city and Dr. f. Pomain-
vile was called. On examination it
was found that an operation was
necessary which was performed We'd
nesday afternoon by Drs. Pomainville
and Q. t. Hougen, and the patient
rallied from it and is feeling quite
comfortable at this writing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

Beulah Scott, daughter of w. o.
Scott, the jeweler, met with quite an
accident one day the past week.
While playing .at school. one Of her
playmates accidentally hit her on the
left side Of her lead with a large iron
stove poker cutting quite a cash
slightly above the temple.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

The Misses Huntington en- ter tanned
a party of their young friends Friday
evening with a series of games in
which twelve young ladies and three
young men took an active part.
Those present report a most enjoy
able evening.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

The Historical and Literary society,
will entertain the Womans club,
Travel class and Entre Nous club at the
home of Mrs. E. p Arpin, Monday
evening. Feb Il. The ladies will dis
cuss the ACCESSIBILITY of placing Manual
training and domestic science in the
New High school.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

Mardi Gras Carnival New Orleans,
La, and Mobile Ala, February 4th to
18th. Tickets sold via Wisconsin
Central Feb. Sd to 9th inclusive, good
leaving New Orleans and Mobile up to
and including February 18th, upon
payment of joint agency fee of SOC
tickets can be made good to February
18th, fare from Grand Rapids to New
Orleans and return $3.50, to Mobile
S34 80
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

The missionary supper given by the
society of the NJ. E. church Friday
evening was success in every way
About 100 guests were served. The
choir and mandolin club gave several
musical selections which were well
received.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

During March and April the Wis
consin Central will sell one way home
seekers tickets to Montana, Idaho and
intermediate territory at greatly
reduced rates. For particulars apply
at the ticket office.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

We understand upon good authority
that a headstone factory Will be moved
here from an adjacent city in the early
spring, to avail themselves of the ex-
cellent railroad facilities III Grand
Rapids. This and any other enterprise
will be cordially welcomed by the
citizens of Grand Rapids.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

There has been considerable talk
this past week about the Chicago s.
Northwestern E. r. Co., having pur-
chased the Consolidated Water Power
interest here. We interviewed Mr..
Nels johnson on this subject and
learned that the rumor had no founda-
tiOn.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

The expose shown up in the Mil
waukee Free Press in its Monday
mornings edition as to the methods
used by the milwaukee Stalwart
League" in obtaining the support of
the country weekly newspapers is d
shame and disgrace to the state.
From that expose it appears that an
average price paid is 5000 per paper.
The sworn atfidavits OF publishers
reveals the unprincipled means used
in acquiring support for the league"
in opposing the present Governor. 1t
can not be possible that the good
people of Wisconsin will permit such
methods to succeed in defeating a
most worthy Governor in his efforts in
behalf Of the common people.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

Lemuel Kroner sold the house and
one lot south of NJ. A. Bogoger's
property on Front street to Mrs N
E. EmmonS in which we understand
the new paper will receive its birth.
Consideration 5000.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

A watch bought Of J. r. Chapman
no easy payments is better than
government bonds.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

MY boy took the Group one night
says F. D. Reynolds, Mansfield, @.
sWe feared he would die, but One
Cough Cure quickly relieved
him and be went to sleep" Abso-
lutely safe. Acts Immediately. Cures
colds, Group, grip, bronchitis throat
and lung troubles Of all kinds. Wood
County Drug Co. or johnson & Hill
IN
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

w. J. Shea has rented the Pariseau
store building on Water street to
Edward Spafford. He expects to use
it for display Of buggies, wagons.
farming implements. etc.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

Remember the Rev. Shaw's lecture
next Sunday evening on Civic Patri-
otiSm.'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

McCalls Bazaar dress patterns 10 and
10 cents. None higher, all seams
allowed at Cohen Bros
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

Did you ever have a watch repaired
at Chapman's that did not give salts
faction.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-02-13

MessrS. J. A. Cohen and A. 2.
Hirzy purchased the Gehler property
consisting OF solid brick house and
twenty-five acres of land the past
week. Consideration said to be nearly
So. 600.