Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1902-12-25
Tales of The Town.

lei ing considerable d1tt1culty OF
late N securing a school teacher
who will complete term Of school.
The trouble all lays with the mar
riageable young men of that locality,
and the prepossessing appearance OF
the young ladies who have accepted
the place and opened school. Mat
tiers just get to progressing nicely
when some young fellow falls in
love with the school marin, she re-
ciprocates, resignation is forthcom-
ing and the school authorities are
once more thrown into a Dilemma.
The board is again searching for a
teacher, male preferred, or an old
maid who has had smallpox of malig-
nant type.
A good one is going the rounds at
the expense of a certain young fell
low in this city who, until recently
was unacquainted with the opera
ton of the foaming seidlitz powder.
Feeling quite ''grippy" the other
day, he was advised to indulge in a
powder of the above description,
with the assurance that it would
ward off the malady. He had never
taken the combination before, but
supposed that the proper caper was
to take one of the little prepara-
tons, and then the other, and SO he
did. Well, to make a long and
painful story short the eruption that
took place in his anatomy when the
two little innocent compounds met
for the first time cannot be described
here. 1t is stated that the man
fairly rolled on the floor in agony
and the sensation he experienced
can only be imagined by one who is
acquainted with the stormy proceed
ings which usually takes place in
a glass when the two powders are
mixed.
''These cold days make the wood
pile disappear like mist before the
morning son." said one of my old
friends the other day. by the
way" he said, do you ever miss
any wood from your woodpile?" l
told him seldom saw my woodpile.
IT tell you there are some pretty
smooth wood sharks in this neigh
borhood. You might not believe it
but there is one fellow who buys
load Of cord wood at the beginning
of winter and has wood left from
that same load for summer use.
You can readily see that somebody's
pile must suffer. I knew Of just
such a fellow who never bought
wood Every man who was onto
him loaded his wood and made
such wood convenient to be carried
off. Well, this was continued all
one season with never report OF
any trouble although the fellow had
carried enough powder home to
blow his whole premises out of ex-
istence. We found out later on
that the fellow always split his wood
very fine. This wood question
strikes me about like the tramp
question; until you have been i'm
posed upon to the limit you will
stand considerable of it. The days
of the great wood snap disappeared
when the railroad companies abol-
ished wood and commenced using
coal exclusively. In those days the
railroad companies with hundreds
of cords of wood all sawed offered a
temptation to the poor Gus who did
not like to buy and would not saw,
that was almost as strong as a
melon patch to the small boy, and
the sin seemed no greater. Of
course if I would catch a poor fell
low at my woodpile, whom [
thought was worthy of my sympa-
thy I would never say word, but
I don't think many such fellows
visit the neighbours woodpile in this
land OF plenty.
The startling intelligence came IN
over the phone one morning that a
real, live fox had been seen to cross
the highway west of town and
Adam Schmittges, chief toddy toss
er at r. N. T'rentzsch's cafe, did not
hesitate long in organizing a posse
for the purpose of dispatching the
ely reynard. The party was cap
tanned by Adam and included such
well known nimrods as Frank Cal
lis, John Decker and Fred Orion.
Mic. Twohig was taken into the deal
because he owns a pair of hounds
and the plans for capture were form
ulated enroute to the spot where
the fox was seen. After brief pre-
liminary skirmish the dogs got a
Whit of the footprints and were off.