Waterbury Democrat., 1902-05-01
JOYS OF SPRING.

"Oh, dear sighed the apartment uWeller, as she sank upon the sofa, With Hfe-isn' -worth-living air. "I do at least hope that I may be allowed 70 end my days in a land where the calendar isn't acquainted with spring. !,
 Try Blanks sarsaparilla,' suggested
 her sympathetic friend, sthat will tone up your system.'' System .' snapped the other. Tt isn't my sys- rem that needs toning, it's the stupid economic, or, rather, extragagant sys- tenn of spring moving. That devital. lzing, soul-abiding custom that pro- uuces more nervous prostration among women than all other ills combined" :"
 So you're really going to move after all the years you've been in this cosy nttie apartment. What a pity.''
 Oh, as to the actual moving. I snouldn't complain about thar. There may De compensations for the uahaay. al 1n the joy of flying from those ills We are dead sick of to others that will at least have the charm Of novelty mat boy next door, for instance. who mas struggled with one tune on tie banjo for the past six months. and the newspaper man underneath who comes i'll and bangs doors Ut all hours of the morning, and the poor little wretch of baby who fills the court night and day with it's protestations against life in general and fiat life in particular. No, my dear, it's not the thought of moving that makes life q burden to me. It's the annual spr;ne chase, the mad, wild hunt for q new place of maximum attractions at min lmum prices. Every year devote tie better part of spring to going through the same process. It's as inevitable and unacceptable as the measles or whooping cough to childhood. I fee, It coming on long before the first Easf CT bonnet arrives i'll the shon windows There is portentious 1ull in the do. nestle atmosphere which always nra- cedes the cyclone. Then come low mutterings of discontent from yarious members of the household. The bovs wish they had larger closets md mnre space in their bedrooms. Helen de- clares her eyesight is being ,l1inad o,, account of the poor light n har room and Ruth decides that the neiohhnr- hood is growing plebeian. Finally come upon John studying 'Apartmep4s 70 Let columns in the papers. .sI,ye just been marking few of fhese mr aear, he says, and guess you'd bet ter look them up this week. It's about tune we stopped paying so much rent Tor the poor accommodations we have ana I've decided we had better move May lst. That will give you time to go over the ground thoroughly and get the best you can for the money,
 Ihen l begin the attack. I rlake cen lury runs in trolleys and Is. I climb illiies or stairs. I am Jerked LID 10 em- pyrean heights in elevators and hanlnd through underground passages to fn- Vestigate sanitary conditions. in. spect interminable rows of apartment houses with every modern convenience ana luxury, cold storage, electric liglfs .elephones and nearly everything bnt peds and bric-a-brac furnished Fl nold exhaustive interviews with ioni- TOTS, agents, landlords and prev;auss tenants, and no end of family discus sions at home, and then what is ina result! Always the same. The en- .ire family decides that aftar oil thlngs are not so bad where We aro ana that We might do much worse by moving. and that on the whole wa had petter leave it till another year. So thls is what is bringing my gray hairs III sorrow to the grave, and there are others mot hairs, but victims. nlean)'' and the speaker fell to studying sev- enteen elaborate brochures, depictiDc the glories of as many apartment houses.