davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
How He Got an Umbrella.

A Grand avenue merchant entered his store
the other day with an umbrella in his hant
and, sitting down on the nearest stool, burst
into roar of laughter in response to querie:
as to the character of tho joke the merchant
said after few minutes of hiurty:
"Well you know, when | started ont in the
rain | had no umbrella. | worried along the
avenue and across the pontoon, debating Wheth
cr shouldn't invest, but was deferred by the
thought that ! already have three umbrellas
kicking around somewhere When got over on
Eas, Water street spcd man | presumed
to be Dick Wilson. l don't believe YOU know
Dick, but he is an old friend Of mine The
man | thought to be Dick was carrying fine
silk umbrella. It's mine, now,'' he added fond.
ly. as lie gazcd on the work OF art he held
in his hand.
'As soon us / saw the man | presumed to
him from the rear and, slapping him Mi;d on
the back exclaimed: Look here, old man, give
me that umbrella'
discovered that he MAS not Dick, but some
one | had never seen before. | was covered with
confusion and was about to apologize, when
observed that he WAS even more confused ;han
|. lie hastily closed the umbrella and pressed
it into my hand with the remark:
"I-l beg your pardon: didn't know it
was Yours and vanished around the corner.
leaving me standing with opcn.mouthed aston
shment.'
After the outb,n>t of merriment from the
assembled clerks had subsidized, the merchant
said:
well. I've got fine. new umbrella anyway
and they say the second thief is the hest own
er."-Mwaukcc Sentinel.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

| SleeIll
committee" of the senate an
IL unofficial body of leading
senators who decide among
| themselves upon the order in which
| pending Legislative measures shall be
| taken up for consideration, Il kind OF
speak, has decided that action upon the
| isthmian canal shall be postponed until
the short session of the present con-
sress. Priority is to be given to the
Philippine civil government bill, the
Cuban reciprocity bill, the river and
harbOr bill and various routine meas
ures. more than sufficient in number to
occupy the remaining days of the pres
ent session. 1t is even predicted by
some that the entire canal question will
go over until the next congress. This
is the view held by the Washington cor
respondent Of the New York Tribune,
who writes TO his paper:
I'm the meantime the question as to
routes will be brought squarely before
he people in the congress campaign
soon to open, and it will be presented
to the voters in all it's phases. Then,
when the Fifty-eghth congress assem-
bles the members of both houses will
know definitely what the people want,
and will also get additional light on the
matter through new surveys and in
restisations of both the Panama and
Nicaragua routes, which will probably
be made by order of this congress. AT
the same time the negotiations between
this government and Colombo. to en-
able the French Panama Canal COM
panN to grant Il clear title for it's prop
erty to the United States will be pushed
to completion, and thus the whole canal
question will be presented in fuller
and more satisfactory light
We cannot say that this prediction
surprises us. We have doubted from
the first that anything more than nolnI-
nal action would come from the pres
ent congress. In view of the success
with which railroad influences have
checkmated canal progress in the past,
it is easy to believe that many heads
now young and fresh will have become
sere and sober before there will be a
channel bisecting the isthmus suffl-
ciently wide, deep and durable to admit
the passage of ocean-S going ships This
is unfortunate, for the country and for
the Republican party. When the latter
goes before the voters with Il record of
further postpOnements of this vital sub
iect, it is quite possible that the voters
may ask why and wherefore; and it will
tax the ingenuity of the Republican
party oracles to supply Il satisfactory
explanation.
The senators comprising the Republ-
can. steering committee" are men of
years. experience and discretion: they
ought, therefore, to know what they are
doing and to have good reasons for
doing it. Presumably they do and have.
But we think we are within permissible
bounds in saying that the temper of
the people is one of rising impatience
at delay in this matter: and that it
seems likely that more votes will be lost
by delay than by early and decisive
action. AT the very least, authority
should be conferred upon the president
to proceed with necessary preliminaries
while congress is in recess.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
It Didn't Sound Conventional.

Dr. George G. I.orimer OF the Madison avenue
Baptist church, New York, when visiting Phila-
delphia recently, told this story:
''lt Is queer what liking young students have
for long words and Latin quotations. and what
a dread possesses them of appearing conventional.
! once knew promising candidate who was
given charge Of funeral in the absence of the
pastor OF the church. lie knew ii was customary
for the minister to announce after the sermon
that those who wished should step up to view
the remains, but he thought this was 100 hack.
neyed phrase, and he said instead;
1.-THE congregation will now pass around the
bier "-Philadelphia Times.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04


Il sioner generalship of immi-
grafton recalls rather
unique incident which took place re-
Gently during the hearings before the
Senate committee on immigration on
the pending Chinese exclusion bill.
Henry Han thus describes it in IL letter
To tie PittsburS Times. EN-Secretary
of STATE John w. Foster appeared for
the opponents of the Bill and made Il
very, eloquent plea for the Chinese
''meechaf,rs," " whom he said We're re-
specrable persons, and refined, high
class gentlemen who could not possi-
bly, come ifto competition with Ameri-
can 1abois They We're, Mr.. Foster al
legged, prosecuted and ill-treated by the
immigration bureau officials, and he
exhibited n complaint made to the
treasury department through the state
department by Minister WI, which
complaint, he said. never received
proper attention and consideration,
When Mr.. Foster was through, Sen
ator H'ehrose, chairman OF the commit
tee, asked commissioner Powderly, who
was present, whether he desired to say
anything on the matter The commits
sionsr said that he regretted that Min
ister.} WIS had not seen fit to present
throvgh MIR. Foster the bureaus reply,
which denied specifically and categori-
callySevery statement made in the COM
plaind; and the particular case re-
ferred to- and upon which so much
stress had been laid, had been found
to be without a scintilla of truth to
support it.
Now. with regard to these Chinese
merchants said Mr. Powxierh, who
are alleged 10 be so refined ardl intel
ligent asriass9of people. ana 6who are
being so .harsbly treated by the imml-
gratipn :purealy = have. two of them
outside >hefr AAna l ~ysuld- be glad to
show them to the committee as speci-
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

In view of the fact that no two scen-
tific experts appear to be able to agree
as TO whether the use of boracic acid in
''embalming" dressed meats is or is not
injurious TO consumers. the safest plan
is the best plan, and that is to take no
chances At the current prices, all
meats ought to be fresh.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
A Guarded Answer.

There are many cautious statesmen in bot
branches of congress. but story told by Judge
Culberson, flasher of the present senator from
Texas, shows degree of reserve seldom, ii ever,
cqualed. says the Washington correspondent OF
the Philadelphia North American.
One of Judge Culbersons constituents had
wagered that lie could get a definite and decided
opinion from the old man, Il proposition so nm.
likely that it created 10 little cyctcncnt>in the
Texas town in which the iudyc resided. II had
been stipulated that the bet should be decided
in front of II livery stable, where Judge Cul.
bcrson liked to spend some of his leisure hours
crowd collected, and they discussed the
state of the weather and the condition OF the
crops ncwly.slcarcd flock Of sheep was driven
by.
Judge said the man who made the wager,
''those sheep have been shcarcd. haven't tlley?"
''It looks like il on this sidr,' replied the
Judge.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
The Feminine View.

A little girl asked her mother ii there were ANY
inen in heaven.
"Mamma," she said, 81 never saw picture Of
an angel with beard or moustache; do men
ever go to heayeni'
"oh yes!" replied her mother "Mcn 20 to
heaven, but it's always a close shave ios man
to get in. Philadelphia Times.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
TEN PAGES.
SCRANTON. APRIL 4, 1902.

The anomaly presented in Il poor
board partly appontive through fail
ure of Il proper machinery for election.
and partly elective is one which should
be brought prominently to the atten-
ton of the next legislature. 1t is the
only power which can unsnarl the
Snarl
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

After several months of loud row.
making the National Base Ball league
adopted the old rules, which have never
been properly enforced. and is now once
more ready for the public's good money.
We venture to say that it will be dis
appointed in the amount that it gets
Of II
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
Good Reason for Keeping Dog.

\ prominent dog fanccr and wealthy man
OF Philadelphia stepped into II grocery the othe,
night and accidentally stumbled fat old
German, who was sitting in corner smoking
his pipe.
Under the chair was the most remarkable spe'
cimen of Il dog that tho gentleman had ever
seen 1t had tine appearance OF pug. with
rough red hair and long tail. 1t was impos.
sibc to resist laughing ut the placid old man
and his nontlescript dog
"What kind Of dog is that?" asked the
gentleman.
Il don't know" replied the German.
~ suppose you use him for imnting?''
mo"
"Is he good for anything?'
'No."
''Tlcn why do you value him so?"
'Becausc he likes me- said the old fellow,
still putting at his pipe Philadelphia Press.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
Mr.. Choate's Repartee.

II has tor long time been the custom for
lawyers who found their pressing cases on the
foot OF the docket OF the New York county
court 10 take change Of Venue 10 Westchester
county. There is a tradition Of not very remote
origin to the effect that our present ainbas,a-
dor TO the court Of ST. James took 4 case rp
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
Not So Necessary as He Thought.

1t was the late Henry Dsston'S habit to make
periodical tours OF inspection through his saw
factory. On one of these rounds of inyestiga'
tion, suddenly lialting with his manager near a
long line OF workmen, and directing his atten.
tion to one of the NUMBER he said abruptly:
DO you see over there" calling the
employe by name, II want him discliarged!''
The manager demonstrated with him: ''Why,
that man is the most skliul machinist on cur
payroll / think you are making great mis-
take, Mr. Dsston."
II know" said Mr. Disston, ''his mec!lni-
cal skill is not in question: but the man has
boosted in a public place that Harry Disston
cannot run this factory without his brains,
and when any employe OF mine has that estimate
of his capabilities as to think no man can fill
his place, his usefulness here is at an end. |
Insist upon his dismissal. ''Philadelphia Times.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

Ten of the eleven Wheeling council
men Who, it is alleged, wanted $50, 900
for street railway franchise have been
indicted by the grand jury. 1t is notice.
able that the investigation OF this mat
ter was not sought to be put on the
shoulders of the mayor.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
EPIDEMIC AMONG BIRDS.
rom the indianapolis News.

1t is stated that during the past season an
epidemic has prevailed among the INJURIES OF the
Pribilof sislands and that the birds, which are
found there in vast numbers, have persisted by
thousands. The first intmation OF diseases was
Tho presence OF birds about the village OF 81,
Paul, close in shore, weak that they were
readily taken by the children. Later dead
birds washed ashore in such numbers that 2l2
We're counted in l50 yards, while steamers from
st. Miehaes reported passing through large
quantities OF dead birds.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
OUTLINE STUDIES
OF HUMAN NATURE

there. and, it SO happened had for an opponent
Il Westchester attorney. This man. in his
speech before the jury, referred sarcastically TO
''mv learned friend so famed for his Chester.
feldian urbaniy."
III replying, says the New York Times, Mr..
Cloate referred to the jbc something in this
fashion: Il cannot repudiate the compliment
of the counsel for the other side when he re.
fers to my Chesterfcldian mbanity, for it comes
from one no less celebrated for Wcstchcstcr-
fcldian suburbanity'
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

Now that all hands have had their
say In reference to the DR., Swallow
case, decent respect for the comfort
of mankind should dictate long period
of silence.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

Rathbone's friends are not helping
his cause by trying to discredit Charles
Emory Smith. Mr.. Smith was deceived
in Rathbone. but he had plenty of dis
tinguished company.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

The report that Canadian surveyors
have beeen tampering with the bound
airy stones along the Alaskan frontier
need not be believed until it is proved;
and we don't imagine that it win be
proved.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

II there is to be a department of COM
meroe and labor, with representation in
the cabinet, there should certainly be a
bureau of insurance.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

Miles and Schley are billed for
speeches before the national good roads
convention in Charlottesville, Va. Thus
the merry campaign goes on.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
A LIBERAL OFFER.
Le Cleveland Plain Dealer.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer,
Paris is the only city which patronizes the arts
on large scale. II has now offered 5000 for
the best symphony or opera sent in before De
cember /, 1905 and 5000 more will be given
tor its performance.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04

Theodore Roosevelt's franchise tax
law has just been pronounced consttu-
tional by the New York Supreme court
1t Is II victory more significant than
that AT San Juan.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
rlajOrity Rule.

ROM the standpoint Of pr;ic-
* tical politics there is some-
Il thing amusing in the ineffect-
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
Mr.. Powderly's Object Less on.
HE RETIREMENT of II.

POwderly from the commits
sioner generalship of immi-
grafton recalls IL rather
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-04-04
Canal Prospects.

.HE REPUBLICAN Steering
committee" of the senate an
IL unofficial body of leading
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-07-17
A PublIc.Spirlted Citizen.

Everybody in Williamsporu owes a
debt of gratitude to the Hon. ]. Henry
Cochran, for he has offered to do some
thing that will be of direct benefit to
one and all alike. He has proposed,
and Counciles have accepted his offer,
to pave Park street between Third and
Fourth, with any material the city sees
fit to select, although it is understood
that this generous citizen prefers as
phalt.
The public spirit of Mr.. Cochran is
well known, but this free gift of a street
pavement will come as a most pleasant
surprise. Councils accepted the prop
osition with applause as we'll as thanks,
and will enact the necessary legisla-
ton as soon as possible, The paving
of this cross street will be huge benefit,
and will be another connecting link
between the asphalt pavements of Third
and Fourth streets. Mr.. Cochran
assumes the entire cost, 80 that the
pavement will not cost the city or the
other abutting property owners a cent.
Acts like these prove the sincerity OF
the man in his efforts to add to the
! welfare and development of the city
Gazette and Bulletin.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-07-17
Murder at fiyner.

Residents in the vicinity of Hyner are
excited over murder that was com.
mitted in that place Friday evening
John Orlando, an Italian, who resided
at Hyner, was employed as foreman on
Weaver & Co.'s railroad. One day last
week he discharged an, Italian laborer
The discharged man, on returning to
Hyner from Remove Friday evening
and while intoxicated, went to Mr.. Or
lando and demanded his time. The
foreman was making it out when the
man shot Orlando in the head near the
left ear, Orlando fell to the floor when
the coward shot him in the back. He
died in a few minutes. Mr.. Orlando
was 42 years old and is survived by his
wife. His funeral took place Saturday
the remains being inferred at Drury's
run.
The murderer fed, but he has not
been captured. He was known only
by a number.-Clinton Democrat,
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-07-17

Mrs. Genung continues to fail il
health.
w. S. Walker was over from Austir
yesterday.
Miss Nellie Thomas is guest of Brad
ford friends.
Mrs Elias CrameT is visiting he1
daughters at Williamsport.
Mrs. John D. Logan entertained hei
lady friends yesterday afternoon.
Father Becker, of Port Allegany, was
guest of Father Dow ney on Tuesday
We noticed George Rishell, of Erie,
in town Sunday, visiting his brother
Chas.
Miss Sidonia Beach, of Pittsborg, has
accepted position in Climax office at
this place.
Mrs. III. w. Clogs and daughter, are
guests of the formers parents at James.
town, N. Y.
Thos. II. Norris has moved into the
trnnery residence recently vacated by
VIM. Lawler.
W. II. Cramer and wife and daugh-
ter, Miss lena, visited Williamsport
relatives last week.
d. g. Hayes made a quick trip to
Binghamton, N. Y, last Friday, re-
turning on Monday.
Miss Matte M. Collins, of Driftwood,
visited in Emporium yesterday, accom-
prnied by her little niece.
Mr.. and Mrs, Chas. Delhi have To-
Gated in Emporium, having secured a
position with Elk Tanning Co.
Last Sunday morning fourteen new
members were added to membership
of Methodist Episcopal church by letter
and from probation.
Henry D. Farr, who resides in one
of Mrs. MayZe's hous 3, Fourth street,
is celebrating the arrival ofa handsome
girl baby at his home.
w. J. McLees of Remove, Pa, for
merly clerk in M. A. Rockwell's drug
store at this place, called on his many
Emporium friends yesterday.
Alden Housler, who has been confined
to his bed for some time, is very feeble
ane in all probability will not live
many hours. He is in his S7th year.
David Kirk, President and J. D. Viii
lard one ofthe principal stockholders of
Climax Powder Company, were in town
Monday and Tuesday, looking after
business.
Mrs. E. M. Newton departed yester-
day for New York city, where she will
reside for some time, with her relatives.
This talented lady will always be sure
to make friends wherever she goes.
Orville Proudfoot, foreman of PRESS
office, accompanied by his family,
enjoyed few days at Milesburg, last
week, visiting Mr.. Proudfoot's former
home for the first time in several years.
Uncle Peter Beattie has moved his
cigar store to the room next door to
Thompson's barber shop, where he
invites all of his friends to call and see
his fine line of cigars, tobaccos and
confectionery.
DR.. Reinohl, who was recently killed
at Lebanon, by being thrown from his
buggy breaking his neck, was a brother
of Mrs. G. M. Pott formerly residen,
of Emporium. The DR.. was prom
inent citizen of that county.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-07-17
Extensive Lumber Jobs.

T. J. Keneally and crew often men
left Monday morning for Sterling Run,
and went from there to Cameron.
From this place, where E. V. Dunlevie
will erect mill, railroad, five miles
in length, will be built to remove bark
and logs from what is known as Hunts
Run, recently purchased by MIR. Dun.
levle. 1t is estimated that the tract
contains about 1s0O0, 900 feet of timber.
Spafford, Met1ger & Currier, who
recently purchased a tract of land To-
Gated near Huntley, Cameron county,
are making preparations to erect a
large mill to manufacture the timber
into lumber. When these two tracts
have been consumed, and those upon
which other companies are operating,
Cameron county will have become
worthless from lumber standpoint
Potter Enterprise.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-07-17

Mr.. and Mrs. Ed. McSwan visited
Austin friends last week.
Mrs. Merrick Barker, of Rich Valley,
who has been seriously i'll, is improv-
ing.
Miss Bertha Gregory is visiting
friends at Houghton; N. Y, and other
New York points.
Edward Blinzler and family are now
comfortably located in their new resi-
dence on Sixth street.
Mr.. Keating and family have return.
ed to Emporium and occupy their home
on Third street
Mr.. and Mrs Edward Fields and
Miss Lottie Troup, left last Friday on
visit to Lebanon friends.
Ross w. Barrows and wife, of Lock
Haven, visited in Emporium last week,
guests of Mr. and Mrs Josiah Howard.
Miss Ada Hockey, who has been
spending several months at William
sport, is visiting her parents at this
place.
Walter Morrison and wife, have re-
turned from visiting at Houghton, N.
Y, accompanied by Mrs. Morrison's
father, Mr. Cronk
Master Mechanic Hammond, of Iron
Company, is enjoying visit from his
wife and children, who arrived from
Lebanon few days ago.
Rev. Robertson visited Philadelphia
last week, Tuesday and Wednesday,,
for the purpose of closing the contract
for the tiling for the new church.
Miss Marion Larrabee, teacher in
the Dubois schools, returned to EN-
porium last Saturday to spend the
summer with her parents and friends.
Mrs. Fred Julian left on Saturday to
visit relatives and friends at Ashland,
Pa. She expects to take trip to
Atlantic City before returning home
Miss Anna Metzger accompanied by
her friend Miss Ethel Winward, OF
Boston, arrived in Emporium on Sat
urday to spend the summer months.
Thos. Rishell, who has been in the
employ of Geo. J.LaBar for some time
returned to infancy Valley last Tues
day. He will take charge of his farm
w. A. Marsh, of Sterling Run, ac
3ompanied by his bright little daughter
tiss Dorothy, visited in Emporium
last week. They paid their respects tc
the PRESS office.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-07-17
Mother Always K eeps Il nandY.

"My mother suffered long time from
distressing pains and general i'll health
due primarily to Indigestion, says L, W.
Spalding, Verona, Mo. "Two years ago
| got her to try kodol. She grew better
at once and now, at the age of seVeDty-six,
eats anything she wants, remarking, that
she fears no bad affects as she has her
bottle of Kodol hardy" Don't waste
time doctoring symptoms. Go after the
cause. If your stomach is sound your
health will be good. Kodol rests the
stomach and strengthens the body by
digesting your food. IL is natures own
tonic. Il. G.. Dodson.