Waterbury Democrat., 1902-12-20
CURING A MEDICINE EATER
ss co YOU'RE the new clerk from
By CHARLES n. LARGER.
} the city, be yer"

L the city, be ye?'
 l looked around from my desk quickly to see whence came the sharp I was conquered. The object that met my gaze was tall, ungainly female form, clad in bright green gingham dress, with other "1ixings" in harmony with it both as to style and hue. She was watching me closely with a pair of piercingly sharp eyes that fairly made my own quail.
 Well, young man, don't set there an gawp at me in that way. Be you the new clerk from back east or ain't you? Can't you answer a civil ques- tion?"
 "Well, ma'am," said I, feeling that I must say something, T am just from the east and am MT. Blalxe's new clerk, if that's what you want"
 "Wa-al, I'm Melissy Higgs. I live out here on Turkey creek" she went on. "We'ye got little claim out there an are .tryin' to improve it. But I ain't we'll. Why, you wouldn't be- lieve all the trouble I've been to since I come to Kansas. It's jest awful, as I've told Riggs lots of times; there ain't nothin' I ain't had. I've been ailin' considerable the most of my nat ural life. Once back in Injiany had dyspepsy and then the liver com plaint an consumption (gallopin' con sumption, mind you) an can't re- member when ain't had the pneu- mony. Oh, it's caution, the things I've gone through"
 Really, ma'am," said I, doubtfully, 'sI don't see how can help you. am an entire stranger and" @.r
 "Wa-al, s'posir' ye be-" she broke in. "Ain't you a druggist? Ain't you jest from the city where they know lots of things that these people out here on the prairies don't dream of?'
 "I am druggist, that is certain; but do not see how I can be of any particular service to you on that &C., count.'
 'I'll tell ye. Ye see just heerd off,
 A longer and lankier specimen of humanity (if such a thing were pos sible) than the specimen addressing
  store. He was typical "gray" from away back. In spite of his appearance there was something about his twink ling eyes and good-natu tured face that made one suspect that he was less a fool than he looked. took him to be Melissy's husband, and his first words proved me correct in my surmise. He was evidently much put out about something.
 "Miss Higgs," said he, interrupting my voluble visitor, "is them your do- En's?" He held before her bill from the rival drugstore, which showed a sum total of $37.29, for medicine pur- chased in the past three months. "Berdin just give me that" he went on. "What in the world could you have got with all that money?" .:-M
 t'Well, let me see: There was Bust eds Balm, 10 bottles--for my sore arm you know"
 '.And then there was six bottles of Perdy's Purifier, and six of his Pearl Pills. I got them cheaper because took an even dozen." ..-
 'You did? How much do they 1tsu- ally cost, then? Berdin has charged me dollar box" :-
 s"The thief!" she exclaimed. "He told me I should have them for 10 dol lars. I'll go right now and see about itl" and she ffounced toward the door.
 When she had gone, MT. Higgs be- came confidential.
 'sShe is the ornariest woman ever did see," he muttered, with despair laden sigh. "You don't know what a cross she is to me. She's a good wife and mother, but her bills for patent medicine nearly swamp me every year. You've just seen one of 'em. Every new medicine that comes out she buys. We've got bottles enough up to the farm to more'n stock this here store of yours. She's just heard of new kind of electric bitters that have been invented, and I don't doubt she'll want to order some." ~.=z.
 "Yes,'' I responded. "She was talk ing to me when you came in as though she was interested in my coming from the city"
 "That's it. She wants to know if you've heard of this new stuff. Say, let's fool her. Pretend to give her some, and we'll expose her an see if it won't have an effect toward curin' her of her foolishness."
 agreed, and we were busy discuss ing the details when Mrs. Higgs re- turned. She looked at us rather queer ly when she entered.
 ssYou men folks get acquainted mighty quick" she remarked.
 suppose Higgs and looked guilty, but she rattled on without stopping:
 "I fixed that all right with Berdin. The price was put up by mistake. He gave me two extra boxes of pills to make it even."
 Riggs groaned.
 "Wa-al, Melissy, I'll go down to the hardware store and get some nails and then I'll call for ye," he then said, and left us alone, so that could carry out my part of the preconceiyed pro. gramme.
 When he had shut the door behind him, his spouse drew close to me, and in a strange whisper began: "I was agoin' ter ask ye if ye knew anything about Eliot's Electric Bit