The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-09-18

INT a feather; in her husbands, q tom
Life.
Teacher-"Tell me, Bobby, what are
tbe two things necessary for baptism ~
Robby-"Water and baby, ma'am."-
Tit-Bits.
What do you expect to be when you
become of age, my little man?' asked
the visitor. "Twenty-one SIR" was the
bright ones reply.-Yonkers States
man.
Patience-And she married that book
agent. did she? Patrice-Yes. The
one who talked SO muchy" 1.-The same
She married to reform ."-Youkers
Statesman.
In Need OF Treatment-He says he
fell In love with her at first sight"
Perhaps can be OF service to him.
know a first-class oculist.
pbia Bulletin.
Il saw johnson going home with my
new book under his ARM" Eyes. Just
built him house and his wife wanted
some bric-a-brac i'm red and gold to
scatter around"
"Oh! Mr.. Poorter. doesn't that train
stop here" said an old lady as the ex-
press dashed through the station. mo.
num-" said the porter, blandly; ut
don't even hesitate"
Her ReasOn-"But why did you en-
courage him IL you didn't want him to
S,,c n< tbok
there wasn't any one else to encour-
age."-Chicago Evening Post.
Couldn't Get Within Range-"One of
these guns can throw a projectile six
teen miles," ut wouldn't do me any
good. My mother-in-law lives thirty
miles from here."-New York Sun.
Mae-I got even with Bessie for
snubbing me. Ethel-What did you do?
Mae-I told that young man who calls
on her that she used to be the best de-
batter in her class at schOol.-New York
Sun.
She-I know some couples that quar-
relied good deal at first. but got along
pretty we'll later on. He-Oh. yes!
Some people take matrimony like rheu-
matism-they get SO they don't COM
plain much.-Puck.
Pretty Loud.-"This necktie," said
the salesman, speaks for itself"
Speaks for itself?" repeated the cuss
TONER as he took in the loudness of the
design; II say that it positively yells!'
Baltimore Herald
Logical.-Pat-"Pfw tn raison
Clancy do be afther havin' tin we'd
DIM OF wondery' Mike-"Faith. an
it's because he's been married to his
Ould woman tin years, Dim thinkin'."-
Chicago Daily News
Newitt-The man who can't take
little good advice has nobody to blame
for his trouble but himself. Sharpe
Oh. l don't know. he's usually burden
ed with lot OF friends who can't give
philadelphia Press.
Whispered.-"Say, old man, what is
summer grip" "A summer girl is
rack to stretch shirt waists on: inside
is receptacle for lobster salad and Ice
cream, while outside is an attachment
for diamond rings."-Life.
She-And you say you can tell by the
stars If he loves you? Why. l didn't
know that you ever scanned the skies.
Belief don't; but scan his love let
tiers. He is one of those fellows that
marks star for every kiss.
Mrs. Rubba-'I suppose that when
you get out you will be better manT'
SeeOnd-StOr Steve-"Oh, yes. num-
I'm rapidly masterin' de finer pints. an
expect ter go in fer bank Robin wen
gifts outv'-Chicago Daily News.
Rarely Industrious.-"How Is Ann
Matilda making out as postmistress at
Elm Crossroads?" Getting along fine.
To-day she read twenty postals, held
nine letters up to the light and opened
four newspapers. Chicago News.
A woman who is spending the sum-
mer in Pennsylvania writes OF a sign
displayed in the window of asmall shop
in the village nearest her. 1t reads:
For Sale - Secondhand furniture,
teeth, and ce."-Washington Post.
Bill-"Talk about blood -and-thunder
pieces, woww Jill-"Is it," Bill-"fou
bet! Why. there are seven men killed
just after the curtain goes up" jill
"Shot?" Bill-"No: the star comes I'D
On an mobile!'-Yonkers States
man.
What is the original idea in TINS
novel of yours?" asked the publisher.
My hero and heroine hate each otner
Il L.. "a rpd ana