davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Minstrel "reminiscences.

The first minstrel performance in
London took place at a theater in the
Strand, London, England-Emmett,
Frank Ray and others. There, amid
great excitement, the band of min
strels performing bowed to the i'm
mense audience and were about to
take their seats when a man in a
box called out to them:
Americans, 60 home and pay your
honest debts" He was alluding to
the trouble caused by the failure or
trouble of the United States bank.
A man standing near him called out
in loud tones, Americans. go on with
your performance, and"-shaking his
fist at the first speaker-"if that fell
low disturbs you again we will throw
him out of the window" Cheer upon
cheer was given, and that was the
cause Of their great success-fuI
houses every night-George A. Cooke
(aged SO years. in New York Sun.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
NEW UsE FOR oRAesHoPpERs.
Novel Method in Utah to Ward Off
the Threatened Pest.

the Threatened Pest.
The residents of Ephraim, Utah,
the agricultural center of San Pete
county, where the crops last year
we're completely ruined by grasshop-
pers, have adopted a novel method
Of exterminating the pest, which is
again threatening the crops. A series
Of entertainments has been arranged
the admission to which is one-half
bushel Of grasshoppers.
The first entertainment dance
was held the other night, and seventy
five half bushels of grasshoppers were
presented to the ticket man at the
door. After the dance the "hoppers"
furnished fuel for a bonfire to prop
erly top OFF the occasion.
Everything possible is being done
to catch the young insects before they
begin to fly, and the citizens around
Ephraim have banded together in one
army to fight them. A standing
bounty of 81 a bushel has been Of
fered by the city officials for the
young "hoppers."
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Realism vs.. RumantiClSm.

BY r.. II. LANCAoIEh.
Copyright, 1902, by Daily Story Pub. Coz
They were sitting on the gallery in
the twilight and the discussion began
by the Woman Who Wrote taking ex-
ception to the %extravagant praise be-
slowed upon a modern book.
1T is not true; not possible. II a
human woman had attempted to live
through such a series Of sensations
she would have died Of heart failure
in a week; or, been sent to an asylum
for the insane
The Newspaper Mar cut in dryly:
Realism will never appreciate ro-
manticism."
Il wish to goodness that l could un-
derstand what is meant by realism
and romanticism," announced the
Green Girl.
why, the difference is just this"
responded the Woman Who Wrote.
Realism deals with what would
probably happen-every-day flesh and
blood. Romanticism with impossible
creations Of nerve and fury. For in
stance:
Once upon a time there was a man
and a woman in a gaudy little garden
and life looked glad. But as the sun
FASTENED to its setting the glow Of
their gladness began to dim, for to
the man sunset meant return to camp,
and to the woman, making hot bis
cult for supper. SO they watched the
setting sun and their words were few
er as their eyes grew wistful. For
this is w SO in life, novelist to the
contrary, Notwithstanding. A full
heart makes not a ready tongue.
Then into the garden came the
maiden aunt of the woman, and she
made obeisance to the man and said
to him in pleasant, everyday, I'M
grammatical talk, that she would be
much pleased to have him make a
third at their teatable. Let n man
who has learned to prize the presence
Of one woman above all others say
What wal in heaRt%e abe Daa ~
he followed the old maid and tn,
woman into the dining-room thai
smelled Of new bread and sad salmon
We will not bother about biscuit
tonight, Polly, If you will slice som,
cold bread spake the aunt. But tn,
man interfered, declaring himself tc
be familiar with the weapons, anC
laying hold upon the bread knife, at.
tackled the loaf valorously. Where,
upon be old maid went to the pantry
for the tea. The door latch clicked
in closing and the bread-knife was il
the left hand Of the man and his righI
arm was about the shoulders Of the
woman, His breath raised her hair
and then that happened which will al
ways happen when any ordinary man
and oma whose hearts have gone
into each others keeping, chance tc
find themselves alone together and
safe from the eyes Of others. For the
space Of a moment, heaven hung over
the breadboard, then a loose plank
squeaked and the woman began to lay
places for six and the man cut slices
Of a thickness to beat the band.
The mans hand touched the wom-
ans intentionally as he passed plate
and platter. Marvel not, ye mortals
Of mundane flesh and blood, that the
tea drank that night was a nectar
compared to which the ambrosia OF
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

and we have been ordered against
them" Do not condemn him for
breaking it 80 rudely. His heart was
hurting him too badly to think of
fnesse. It is ever so with an ordl-
nary man. pain makes him impatient.
Well, the woman felt troubled; be-
she missed him, and because all
at once she could think Of him only
as of a still, white face ~upturned to
the moon She went to the machine
and made a couple OF shirt waists with
tucked fronts and insertion as per or
der, then she read the newspaper to
keep from going into the garden. She
did not care to talk about it-sym-
pathy upsets ones self-control. But
the hurt in her heart srew worse as
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
RepaIrlna LonafeIlow's Home.

The repairs on the outside Of the old
Longfellow home, Portland, Ne, have
begun. The house is to have a new
roof and the woodwork and blinds are
to be painted. The floor in the vesti-
bule, from the street, is to be restored
to Its original appearance, and the
old stone front doorstep. which has
been covered up for many years. is to
be raised and used again. as formerly.
Over this old step the family have
gone from the beginning Of the house.
On It stood zilpah Longfellow. In 1898.
the mother Of the poet Longfellow, and
presented a standard to the Portland
federal volunteers, the first uniformed
military company in Maine. This
company was reOrganized az the
Portland light infantry, and next year
the members are anticipating a CEN
tennial celebration.-Boston Tran
script.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

YOU" sighed the rejected lover,
would find your name written in Inn
p%erishable characters on my heart.
could you but look"
"So?" murmured the fair young
thing, who was aware Of the fact
that the swain had been playing "Ro-
meo" at the seaside for something
like 20 years. "So2 Then you must
have a heart like a hotel directory
by this time
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

An old darby who was fearful Of
being buried alive left these final in
.structions:
AFTER my time come, femme stay
ez long ez possible. Don't make de
funeral sermon too long. kaze datn
make me sleep only de sounder; but
blow de dinner-ho'n over me-. IF dat
don't wake me, 1 sure is gonel"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

the gods was but as milk and water.
For all that I have told Is very true
and has come to pass many hundreds
Of times. and If the world holds will
come many hundreds Of times more.
Al last they said goodnight In the
moonlight And II there be any among
you who have not counted the mo-
ments by the delicious CULVER Of a
heart beat against your own. / shall
not strive to picture TO you that pleas
ant parting. for no words could make
Il plain; and II there be those among
you who have. neither win I expend
energy d pom useless %endeavor. for you
know that no words may do It justice.
So for the sunshine. The shadow
came next day with bis letter. MY
own dear Polly. The Indians are ~
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
WAITING Hls rum.

you got the worst OF it in that
horse trade" said the friend.
Yes" answered Farmer C%orntossel
q suppose it makes you angry every
time you see the horse"
mo. l like to look at him. 1t
gives me a good deal Of satisfaction
to think of how l am going to do the
oJner fellow in the next trade"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Nature Would % lt
was in the far south.

70 vas m mo Tar 00UTn-
"How's tlmes?" asked the tourist.
Pretty tolerable. stranger re-
sponded the old man. who was sitting
on a stump. II had some trees to cut
down, but the cyclone levole6 them
and saved me the trouble"
THAT was good"
yes; and then the lightning set
fire to the brush pile and save me
the trouble Of burning &C."
"R~emarkablel But what are you
doing now?"
Waiting for an earthquake to come
along and shake the p%otatoeB out Of
the ground"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

But" we say to the intrepid polar
explorer. do you not fear that you
will become depressed for lack Of
home ties and home customs while in
the frozen north2"
"Oh, / don't know he carelessly re-
sponos. why, It is very home,ike up
there. Fresh meat is quoted at $50
a pound"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

= few months ago a Janus Prus
sion general was inspecting some mil
itafy stables.
What do 1 e there?" he said in
tones of thunder to a sergeant. Cob
webs?"
Yes, sir" was the respectful -s
ply; I'VE keep them there to catch
the flies and prevent their teasing
the horses"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
IEalA.zIGJ
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., your husband

Experimentation. your husband
is suffering from overwork.
Mrs. Wand will he have to give
up his place under the government?
Physician-What's that? Is be a
government official?
Mrs. W.--Yes, sir.
Physician-H'm; I'll diagnose his
case again. He probably needs exer-
else of some kind.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Patient-Doctor, is a manicure in
any way associated with your profess
sion?
Doctor-By no means, sir; we are
not in the least responsible for them.
Patient-That is surely a frank &C
acknowledgment.
Doctor-Wha is?
Patient-Why, that o are not re-
spOnsible for many cures.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Charlie de Broke suppose, Miss
Roxy, you are aware that for come
time my heart has not been in my
possession?
Miss Roxy-Why. Mr.. de Broke. /
had no idea you could borrow money
on that, too.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

The fact that Mr.. schwab has given
a $4,000 academy building as pay
ment for the green apples he stole
when he was a boy leads to the nat
ural conclusion that his ideal Of Hades
is- reminiscent Of hls youthful stomach.
nches.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

De Banque-You seem to entertain
positive hate for those department
stores.
De Ranque-I do. indeed. It was
there I'm sure that my wife contracted
the habit she has Of calling out Gosh"
every pay night
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
ACE limit and Hair pvs.

For a long time there has been
close to complete cessation in the
manufactures of hair dye, but in the
past year or SO a boom has developed
in that branch of Industry. The gem
eral establishment of an age limit
in the employment of men in com
mercial and mechanical pursuits is
said to be responsible for this I'M
expected revival. An official of the
American F~etefatlon 81 Labor says
he knows ior 4 .ct Of many men who
are using Q hide their gray
t ol oJners VINO shave
constantly to look young enough to
be able @ hold their positions. Sta
tistics prove that it is every day be-
coming difficult for a man past
the prime of life to secure employ
ment. The skilled mechanic engi-
neer or employee who wants a job in
any service must have youth as well
as ability. If he doesn't possess it he
must counterfeit it. Presumably the
elderly man With a bald head must
wear a wig in order to cover his
years.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Emperor William says that when a
German a look into the eyes Of the
empress he ought to have inspiration
enough 70 last him a lifetime. How
nice It must be for her II the emperor
talks like that when company Is not
present.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Summer Perlls.

This 17-year locust is a very dan
gerous animal" said the the student
of horticulture.
Yes" answered the youth with
the faraway and detected look; but
it doesn't do nearly as much irrepar.
able damage as the "17-year-old girl"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
An lnaInuatlon.

Proprietor-why did Miss Elderly
leave the hotel?
Clerk-she claims one of the other
boarders insulted her.
Proprietor-In what way?
Clerk-Asked her II it was really
true that George Washington Gu the
cherry tree.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

It is reported that William Waldorf
Aston is going to give his daughter
S2O,OOO,00 when she gets married.
William Waldorf must think hat Is
about the price Of a good, serviceabie
duke.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Witherby-My wife keeps a scrap
book now of all the bright things
our baby says.
Plankinton-Why, is the little fel-
low old enough for that?
Witherby-Oh, yes. it's quite won
derful. He repeats everything 1 say.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

"As girls grow older they think less
Of love and more of money" says the
Pointed Paragrapber" Of the Chicago
News. Good sign. Perhaps this high
er education" Is doing something for
the girls, after all.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

ut is a positive delight to meet a
man you feel you can trust" re-
marked the individual with the high
forehead.
"Oh, 1 don't know. / prefer a man
who pays cash" replied the man who
keeps a grocery store.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

First Hunter-It was our fault l
didn't shoot that deer this morning.
Second Hunter-My fault?
First Hunter-Yes. / saw some
thing moving. When l said, is that
you JimT the deer ran. Next time
I'm going to say nothing and shoot
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

A French army officer has perfected
a device which suppresses the fash,
sound and smoke Of a rifle or cannon.
Now If he will 90 a step farther and
suppress the bullet and shell he will
do the world a real service.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

ooh. you cruel boy" cried a mem
Der Of the Audubon society, ITO DO
trying to kin that small birdl"
"Bird?" echoed the small boy, de-
risively. Il guess you're a stranger
in these parts; that's a Jersey mos
quitol"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Aa III It Wnre Posalhle-

claribel-I wonder what that e
ture meant?
Lizzie-What creature2
Claribel ~ Why, Tentworth, OF
course. When l told him everybody
said was improving in my singing,
he said he vas delighted to heal it.
The idea!
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Wit and HumOr


Mrs. Springs How careful your
little boy IS Of his healthl My boy
is constantly running out IN an sorts
Of weather. without his overcoat. no
matter what say. How DO you man
ageY"
Mrs. Briggs-When my boy catches
cold I give him cod liver OIL.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
Wife.

Benedict-Give me a few pointers
on how to manage a wife, old chap.
Meeks-Can't, my boy; but 1 can
give you no end Of advice on how TO
be managed by a wife so that your
think you are the manager.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

King Edward doubtless was sincere
when he congratulated the Beers upon
their bravery. It cost Great Britain
500. 900. 900 to ind out the hghting
qualities Of the vanquished people.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

A theater treasurer has nearly died
from erysipelas contracted in hand.
ling money. There are probably, how
ever, more cases Of grip than cry
siDelas in handling money.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

I'm some OF the oriental countries
a feels disgraced if she allows
her face to be seen in public"
Yes" answered Miss Peppery; "and
after seeing some of their faces, /
quite agree with them"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

King Alfonso Of Spain is hunting for
a wife. Any good-loohdng princess who
begins to get boxes of chocolate and
cut flowers from Madrid should un-
derstand what they mean.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Joseph Chamberlain and the colonial
premiers are having some trouble in
whiting out a zollverein for King
Edwards empire. They might try get
ting up a t%urnverein.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

A Pueblo Indian whipped his wife,
was promptly castigated by his moth
er-inlaw and in his modification com
mitted suicide. There il no use in
trying to civilize an Indian.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

You win be married within a year"
continued the fortune teller. Dear
mel" exclaimed the lady. who was
already married. II shall have 10
begin divorce proceedings at once"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Kansas farmers are dragging tramps
fnpm freight trains and compelling
them to work in the harvest fields. It
is such acts a. this that make freedom
shrek.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

The woman who has petitioned for a
divorce on the ground hat her hus-
band expected her to embrace the
new thought" and e ghosts ought
to have her freedom.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22
M charae for AdvIoe.

Floor Walker-I'm very sorry, ma
dam, but l can't exchange this hat for
you.
Mrs. smithson-But my husband
doesn't like it.
Floor Walker-Then I'd advise you
to get a divorce.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

A Cincinnati court has decided that
yelling IN church is q punishable OIL
Tense. How this win affect the female
eoloist 10 the choir remains to be seen.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Kraft--The boss promised TO give
me a raise in nay ga airy next week.
Novitt-Sorry. old man, but /
haven't got a cent 70 lend.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

"A boss hab a heap o. sense. said
Uncle Eben. ri a lot O. human hein's
went runnin' aroun a track, he
wouldn't resk his dinner bettin on de-
race"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

After facing the perils Of a mob
Rudyard Kipling no doubt wonders
how Poet Laureate Austin has man
aged to escape so long.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

BY the time man has the forests
thoroughly subdued he will have
found, doubtless. some way of getting
along without wood.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

The breaking Of college ties is sad,
but not half so melancholy as the
counting Of subsequent ties.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

A season Of protracted drought is
reminding the Texas people OF Gen.
Sherman's opinion of war.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Bicycling is said to be a craze again
in the East. II must be unsatisfactory
sport, though. for enthusiasts who
have been running their automobiles
e people.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

why didn't you call yesterday"
asked Mrs. Smithers.
1T wasn't my fault. dear" an
swered Mrs. Gobuzz my husband
and al TIE neishbors am friendly
villa were away from home. and an.
the Waists have button doWn the.
back
a TRAIT Of the SEX.
MAN can't ten whether q girl
means what she says" he remarked,
t~houghtfully.
"Of course not she replied. eff he
thinks she does. why she just natural
ly doesn't the moment she finds it out,
and if he thinks she doesn't why she
does.'
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Herr Most has sounded the death
Snell Of a free press in America. It
is certain that he win not take any
more liberties with it for the next
twelve months.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

In Toledo %ping-pong sets have been
placed Do jury rooms for the use Of
Jurors who nnd & dimcult 70 agree.
Nefdicts ought "a come quickly now.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

King Alfonso needs a guardian
worse than ever, for he will probably
fall in love with some nice lady aged
about As years.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Mr.. Bull understands himself to be
the victor, but he will have to put his
South African farm in order at his
own expense.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Brooklyn advertises a reliable bug
exterminator," which may be of use to
any one who wants to exterminate re
liable bugs.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Speaking or an army. King Wheat
calls for 10000 harvester recruits in
Kansas and Nebraska.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

What. asks the college boy, is the
good Of c%o-education II tie girls are
going to take It over in the next
block?
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

It is feared that n result Of the
Ruhlin-Sharkey fight will be t bring
the Hon. Jim Corbett before the pub
lie again.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

One Of the latest and most sensible
fads in New York this season is the
throwing of stones at automobile
racers.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

~Oid you make these piesf'
YES and I suppose you are going
10 N-yauili hor4tu set q hnmni1r
to break themf
No there's only SAG objection.
"PshaHi Perhaps they're not IKE
thoge your mother used to maker"
Wrong again. They're % big
enough Judge.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

The modern way OF tanning a shrew
Is to buy her everything she wants
and promise her what she doesn't
uanL-NaH YORK Pra-a.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

The shah of Persia stiu refuses to
look pleasant in any OF his portraits.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Why should there be any furry in
financial circles? Pierp. is stin able to
be up and around.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Love letters are writs Of attach
ment and there is no lodging the ser
vice.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Portugal won't let Britain have
Mozambique, unless britain takes t.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1902-08-22

Il have been asking myself all the
while whether 1t is on account Of
the umbrella or my company that /
may accompany you"
1T is neither. 1t is on account OF
my new hat"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1902-01-11
Republican City Primaries.

BY resolution of the city executive
committee the polls will not be opened
on the 18th inst. on account of only
one candidate registering for the office
of city controller.
The vigilance committee are instruc-
tion to elect vigilants for the ensuing
year on the 18th inst. and report same
to the convention of return judges to
be held Jan. Is, at 2.3O p. m.
r. r. Jayne, Acting Chairman.