Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1902-09-05
TOPICS OF THE TIMES

/ TOPICS OF THE TIMES )
|
"How superior your butler is! His
lofty manner really frightens me-
"oh. don't mind him. He is only
guying you."-Life.
! Apples grow upon the trees thickly
| in some sections of Missouri this sea-
| son. A recent windstorm blew nearly
| 400 bushels of apples from the trees in
Lowmiller's orchard near Parkville and
so thick was the fruit that the absence
of that blown off was barely noticeable.
| Walter N. Allen, the millionaire
farmer OF jefferson county, Kansas,
says he will spend $4,000 to be elected
| to congress from the Lcavenworth dis
trct if the fusionists will but nominate
honest elections from g.eat wealth.
Employer.--Well. what did he say
when you called to collect that bill?
Clerk-That he would break every
bone in my body and pitch me out of
the window If showed my face there
again.
Employer-Then go back at once and
tell him he can't frishten me by his
violence. Boston Globe.
A story is told of how Admiral (then
captain Evans was cured of his desire
for an automobile. He was riding in
one Of these machines with friend in
New York. After the spin thru Central
Park had become most invigorating the
captain became laxative with the
chauffeur. You are the man l want
to talk to-" he remarked. Il have been
thinking for some time of buying one Of
these flying machines for myself and l
want some expert advice as to what
brand of wings to purchase" I've
driven every kind Of machine that there
IS returned the affable engineer,
steam. gasoline, electric and all, and l
guess know 'em all from A to lizard"
Well now, my man." returned the cap
tain, warming up to the gentlemanly
steerer. III you We're going to buy
machine for yourself what kind would
you select?" We'll, SIR replied cabby,
money and buy boss" The admiral
is still without an auto.
The narrow escape of Gov. Odell. of
New York. from being run over by a
train Thursday is another incident to-
revive the Keep off the track" warn
ing. He was jerked off by friend
just moment before the cars whizzed
by.
Mrs. Eva Devoe, OF East Syracuse. N.
Y, is an up-to-date girl, altho she is
100 years old. She wants bicycle as
she hates to be behind the times. MY
family" she says. seem to think I'd
better not have one, and maybe it
would look queer to see the mother Of a
72-year-old girl whirling on a wheel
~
duck shooting season In Nebraska on
Sept. ! the Omaha Bee says: For a
month or more the hunters have been
Investigating the condition of game at
the usual resorts, and report that the
early shooting will be good A large
number of ducks which usually make
their summer home in more northern
waters settled last spring on the lakes
OF northern Nebraska, and there is al
large hatch of the ducks which ordina
rily spend the summer in those waters,
so that there will be much more than
the usual amount Of game early in the
season. Few parties will start into the
fields, however. for thirty days, as on
Oct. the open season for chickens and
grouse begins. These birds are more
plentiful in the state t!,an they have
been for ten years, and Brown Cherry
and adjoining counties are swarming
with birds" Go west. young man.
No one has amassed millions so rap
idly as Alfred Belt, the South African
millionaire. who is reputed to be the
wealthiest man in the world. His for
tune is said to exceed $1,000, 100000. and
he has an income sufficient to make ten
rev millionaires every year. The whole
of this colossal fortune was made with
in period of twenty-five years.
Justice Shiras has collar button
story which he tells with a great deal
of gusto," says the Chicago Record
Herald. "a man in Pittsburg, where
he used to live, had a wife who was
of dyspepsia, and she
heard of a certain remedy that was
put up in capsules. Her husband bought |
a dozen at drug store, and brought |
them home in a pill box. AT the same
time he bought a, dozen collar buttons
made Of metallic composition that
looked very much like pearl, and the
druggist gave him pill box similar
to that In which the capsules were
put UP to carry them in. He took both |