Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1902-02-06
THE PRACTICAL
Versus THE IDEAL
Ioriginal.l


never act unwisely and yet never get
on. On the contrary, there are people
who always act unwsely and yet al
ways get on. The explanation may be
in the fact that the former have no
originality to lift them above the level
of competition and the latter have
genius.
My wife soon after we We're married
developed a passion for what 1 called
old trumpery. She attended auctions,
and any hideous rug, rickety clock or
crazy chair put up for sale was sure to
be bid in by her to lumber up the
house. As to bric-a-brac, I couldn't
turn round without smashing some I'M
calmly pitcher, big at the girth and lit
tie at the bottom, especially made to
be knocked over. There were old
swords, old blunderbusses, pieces Of
armor, rugs so homely that 1t would
make one sick to walk over them, en-
cravings yellow with age, pieces Of
tapestry with pictures on them Of stiff
looking people looking sour as vinegar.
In short, everything in the house was
either old or ugly or both.
practical man, with no nonsense
about me, managed to keep the wolf
from the door as bookkeeper. I had
inherited $1,000 from my father, which
l placed in savings bank to draw )
per cent interest. 1t did not remain
there long. My wife's insane passion
for auction purchases ate into it gradu-
ally, but surely, till my nest egg had
been turned into lot of miscellaneous
truck which any sane man would con-
slider fit only for a junkshop.
Mrs. Moneypenny had friends whs
were as crazy on this subject as her.
self They would come into the house
and go from room to room admiring
this bit of coffee colored lace, fit only
for rag bag; that miniature of some
fat woman, with a coronet on her head,
in Clipped oval frame; a clock with
. pair of rusty weights weighing per-
haps twenty pounds each and the sound
of donkey engine in winding. Then
they would go away, thanking her for
showing them her collection"
my dear" I said one day to her de-
spairingly, "my $1,000 is reduced to
five hundred"
Give hundred! Then made mis-
take in my figures. thought there was
only three hundred After all, | can
get it,
Get whatY l cried, aghast.
'"The Rembrandt! l have absolute
proof that it is genuine. and 1t 10 going
for a song"
ooh, heavens" | muttered, sinking
on to a sofa-"to be tied to lunatic!
And to think what is to become of our
poor childrenw
She sat down beside me and put her
arms about me, but said nothing. Whist
could she say? She was under the con
troll of her passion. with no power to
resist it. She must be not only dragged
down to poverty herself. but drag hus-
band and children with her. Within
forty-eight hours she had the Last ceak
in the savings bank and got her pis-
ture, dingy painting Of man dress
ed like supernumerary in theatec,
the only feature plainly visible beix6
the tip of red nose.
The day after the thing was brought
home one of her friends, Lady, met
me on the street and congratulated me
on the valuable addition to my ''coifes-
ton"
l stared at her grimly and passed -,
while she looked at me. wondering r
had lost my senses.
Going home. l abused my wife for -
hour. She was patient about Il ana
made no reply, but at last. when beg
ged her to get rid of the STUFF aaaTl
form, she agreed to do so.
very WELL" replied. II wtil send
for Moses. who win make you bid
for the lot. We may get few hun
dred dollars out of it."
Leave that to me, dear" she repked.
you haven't time. Go to business, and
l will do all that is necessary"
The next day the morning paper eoa-
tanned notice that Mrs. MoneypeunS
was to sell at auction her treasures,
which she had been years aecum,zas.
Ing, as she was about to go abroad to
make another collection"
At sight of this announcement
nearly tainted. but revived on l,eaeaa-
bering that the rubbage was to be sold.
For days before the sale | was besst
by people with printed lists in their
hands asking me what such, number
could be had for at private sale
turned away from all. saying that
didn't know and I didn't care-proba-
bly, dollar would secure anything in
the lot. and it would be large price
Well. the sale came off was busy
at the office making trial balance
and got home after it was all over
Everybody had gone. and found nay
wife looking depressed. When l saw
the house devoid of the trumpery with
which it had been incumbered, l re-
joiced.
"Thank heaven exclaimed, ITS
gone! What did you save out Of the
wreck?"
"Unluckily. two of the persons l ex-
pected would take the most of 1t at the
| LARGEST nricaS were sudHenlv oollpd