The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1902-01-01
EDITORIAL PAGE
ALONG THE SKIRMISH LINE.
Select circies-sOlitatre engagement

Select circles-solitatre engagement
rings.
When a man loves woman so much
that he is willing to give her up. there
is apt to be some willingness on the other
side also.
1T is always a good rule. children. to
pay as you go. Can you tell me Why"
Il know; cause If you don't de res
taurant folks Il have youse pinched,"
Yes" said the woman with the soul
I full eyes, Il love ali animals. and I al
ways try to make my pets happy Moth
] ing is too insignificant for the truly
humane soul To-"
do You iCve tie mice your cat has
| for dinner?" interrupted the practical
| man.
Children. what is all this fuss about ."
Why. I got courtplaster case for
| Christmas and Mabel won't cut her finger
and let me play doctor. think she ought
to he more obHging"
Some matrimonial ties are harassing. d"
| said sat-faced man.
For exampIe?"
''The ones my wife gave me for Christ
mas"
So long as women persist in giving each
other these big soft knitted hassocks
4 men viii have nervous prostration. think
/ ing they have stepped on the cat
! era-5,I+v
/ ought to go fine. said the vaudeville
manager. It's a trick artist. He draws
/ portraits OF all the great men
How did your artist go?" asked his
/ friend a week later.
He went way back and sat down. He
could draw Dewey. and Grant. and schley.
| and Sousa. and salary, and everything
/ else except an audience"
There are women VINO are so persistent
! in the practice OF eating things up to save
them that by and by they get dyspepsia
/ and have to spend all their savings on
| doctors and patent medicines; and this
! IS what is meant by economy for econo-
my's sake.
No thank YOU. said the virtuous man
on New Year Day. that's my favorite
cake. but I daren't eat IT,"
why? It's wholesome"
"Oh. yes. but it's got cloves and other
l spice in it. and when 7 get home I want
| to convince my wife cha. T didn't take a
/ drop Of anything that ua.... cloves after
ward"
And what do you think is the cause Of
your remarkable longevity" asked the
( reporter.
4 think" said the eentenarisn. chat
| II is because 4 have all my life abstained
from the use Of tobacco?"
Did it ever come into your head" put
in the hslz<azd hearty oetagenarian, who
sat contente1ly chewing in the next chair.
that if yed done the other thing We
might have been hundred and ten years
old by now"
What are you studying so earnestly
in that paper. FIora?"
This paragraph, t seems TO be an
/ eDigram. but don't see the idea"
That's nothing. An epigram is some
] times just a form or words with 8 hole
where the idea ought 10 be-
DO you believe in heredity?" asked the
man who loves to be thought scientific.
Yes" said the young father shortly.
And wAat--"
"Oh. 7 always was fond OF night travel
and my boy iuherits the taste. / played
Pullman four hours last night"
We must live, pleaded the servants
Of the hard hearted aristOcrat.
T do not see the necessity" he said.
So they all died, and he had to black
his own boots, brush his own clothes and
shave himself. Then he learned some
thing. for he was a sensible aristocrat.
Next time, ne said, I Will tell them
they must live whether they want TO or
not"
One Of the saddest things about a soak-
ing rain is that there is invariably some
body in the house who greets one with an
a,rr,roc=fon oF rabbit Tfl-, gf~,-rF-s4-- ~