The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1902-03-27
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peopit opihiohs, NY Son II uSh.
He-She always calls things by their
| right names. She-What horrible name
did she call you2-Yonkers Statesman.
Snapshot Opinion Ned-Clara says
you are perfect gentleman. Fred
Why, she doesn't know mel Ned
That's what | told her.-Smart Set.
Suggestion Promptly Adopted
yasser-Don't let me disturb you. sir
- Busy Merchant won't. Will
lam, show the gentleman out.-Chica-
go Tribune.
why Is it that powder factories pay
such high wagesY Because the EN-
ployes are likely at any moment to be
blown up and thrown out of employ
ment. New York Sun.
Waiter. | find have just enough
money to pay for the dinner. but |
have nothing in the way of tip for
yourself" Let me add up the bill
again, sir lincolnshire
A Darwinian.-lsobel- perfectly
your frock fits, dear. | thought you
college girls scared above such trifles.
Hypatia-Oh, no. We believe in the
survival of the best fitted.-Life.
Dlscreet.-Jay-Yes, sir; when was
In New York a sharper robbed me of
fifty dollars. Hay-Why didn't you call
policeman? Jay-well, thought
fifty dollars was enough.-Phlladelph
Press.
vlslble-Magistrate ito prisoner
Have you any visible means of sup
port? Prisouer-Yes, sir, your honor.
TO his wife, laundress)-Bridget,
stand up SO that the coort kin see yez.
-Tlt-Bits
After the Weddlng.-The Countess
You've no idea how embarrassed the
count was when he proposed to me.
The Dear Frlend-I heard 1t took con-
siderable of your fathers money to
pay his debts.-Judge.
Sage Advice: Manageable careful
not to make the plot of your novel too
complicated. Author-Why not? Man.
ager-Well, you know before 1t Is
dramatized the plot will all have to be
taken out of it.-Judge.
Gentlemen.-"You don't know how to
make lover sneered the Gentleman of
the Old School NO" laughed the
Gentleman of the New School; 81 leave
all that to the women! | have need
only to make moneyw-Life.
Il throw myself upon your mercy"
sobbed the two-hundred pound heroine.
The villain sank beneath her weight.
II now realize" he murmured. what
is meant by the power behind the
thrown" -Phlladelphia Press.
ut isn't well TO be too quick at soly-
ing conundrum." mo" NO; once
tried to find out what was the differ
ence between a man and his wife fight
ing on the street. and they didn't do a
thing to me- -Phlladelphla Record.
In Spirit Land.-l'm glad I'm dead"
said the shade of George Washington
to the wrath of Benjamin Franklin.
"Why, my liegeT' III were alive.
they might court martial me for COM
Polling CORVALLIS to surrender
Town Topics
Excited Citizen-I. want man ar
rested right away! I've been assault
ed, and | wasn't doing thing but
walking along the street In quiet. or
DERBY and 'noffensive manner, and
whistling Justice-Um-er-wh tune
were you whistling?
Henry, how Is the plot of that sea
novel runningT "well, just at this
chapter there Is a terrible storm, and
the passengers are afraid the boat will
go to the top" You mean to the bot
TOM" mo; this Is submarine boat"
Philadelphia Record.
Gifts should be- accepted thankfully
but not too cu-iously. An amateur poet
found himself in sad quandary. 81
don't know what to think" he said;
'last year on my birthday Ella gave
me pencil to write poems with. and
this year she has given me silver
mounted eraser"
Ordinary Tears.-Old Gentleman
Why do you shed such bitter tears. my
boy? Boston Child tpausing in his
tears)-R Really, can not conceive that
my tears differ as to their brackish
quality from other lachrymose ennis
slons. have never heard of sacchar-
Inc tears.-Philadelpma Press.
How lie Works It.--Jones-How on
earth does Bluffem manage to get
credit for his clothes lat that swell tai
lors? Brown-The tailor found out
that he lived at the Hotel Magnificent.
Jones-But how does he manage to
carry 1t off with the hotel people?
Brown-l suppose they judge him by
his Bits.
HIM" exclaimed MrA Goldie, after
reading his morning post. that boys
college education IL making him too
smart" whats the matter?" asked
Mrs. Goldie. 81 wrote to him the other
day that thought 1t would be kinder
for me not to remit the check he asked
for. Now he writes: Dear Father-I
shall never forget your unremittlng
Kindness It'll Bits.
They were dining at the hotel where
they have music and had reached that
part of the repast when the preserves
the sweets come on. His was cher
ries in maraschino-new to him and
she was devastating Ice cream and
ginger squares. Finishlngrhe contents
of his glass saucer, he looked up and