davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19
Mark Twain's Sarcasm.
er Cor. Phiiadelphia American.

Denver Cor. Phiiadelphia American.
Mark Twain has written q letter
to a local paper in response to q
telegram telling him of the agita-
ton to exclude AZ uckle berry Fin
from the juvenile shelves Of the
public library on the grounds of
immortality. After referring to
the illness of bis wife and her i'm
provement, he says:
"When the watch was relieved
an hour ago and / left the sick
chamber to take my respite, / be-
gan to frame answers to your dis
patch, but it was only to entertain
myself, for / am aware that l am
not privileged to speak freely in
this matter. funny az the occasion
is and dearly as / should like to
laugh 1t it; and when I can't
speak freely | don't speak at all.
"You see, there are two or three
pointers. ~
"First-Huck Finn was turned
out Of New England library sew
enteen years ago, ostensibly on ac-
count Of morals; really to curry
favor with parsonage. There has
been no other instance until now.
"Second-A few months ago /
published an article which threw
mud at that pinchbeck hero, Fun
ston. and his extraordinary moral.
Third - Huck's morals have
stood the strain in Denver and in
every English, German and French
speaking community in the world.
except one, for seventeen years.
until now.
"Fourth-The strain breaks the
connection now.
"Fifth-In Denver alone.
sixth = Funston commands
there.
"Seventh-And has dependents
and influence.
when one puts these things
together the cat that is in the meal
is disclosed and quite unmistak-
ably.
"Said cat consists of few per-
SONS who wish to curry favor with
Funston. and whom God has not
dealt with kindly in the matter of
wisdom.
Everybody in Denver knows
this, even the dead people in the
cemeteries. It may be that Fun
ston has wit enough to know that
these good idiots are adding another
bowling absurdity to his funny
history; it may be that God has
charitably spared him that degree
of penetration, slight as it is. In
any case he is, as usual, n proper
object of compassion and the bow
els of my sympathy are moved to-
ward him.
There is nobody for me to at
tack in this matter even with soft
and gentle ridicule-and l should
not ever think of using a grown
up weapon in this kind of a nur-
sery. Above all, / could not VEN
ture to sttaok the clergymen whom
you mention, for / have their hab-
its and live in the same glass
house which they are occupying.
l am always reading immoral
books on the sly, and then selfishly
trying to prevent other people
from having the same wicked good
time.
mo, If Satan's morals and Fun
ston are preferable to Huck's, let
Huok take q back seat; they can
stand any ordinary competition,
but not q bination like that.
And I'm not going to defend
them. anyway.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19

No Political GOOD In lt.

WAsHINGToN, d. c., Sept. IA
Especial to New Orleans Picay-
une - Senator Herusndo ID.
Money, of Mississippi, was in
Washington this week and called
at TIE headquarters of the Demo
cratic congressional campaign
committee. He was asked what
would be the political effect in the
South of Presid> mt Roosevelt's
visit. frr r0
THE people of the South" said
Mr.. Money, '"honor the office Mr..
Roosevelt holds and respect pres
ident, but they do not necessarily
assemble to see Mr.. Roosevelt as
an individual or a. the representa-
tive of the Republican party when
he travels in our section.
MIR. Roosevelt is not likely to
gain anything by meandering
about the country as he does.
Benjamin Harrison tried it and
was defeated when he came up for
re election afterwards. Horace
Greedy tried il and made some
very fine speeches during his tour,
but he was swamped in the cleo
ton following. Circlibg the coun-
try by pre- sidents does not pay, it
seems"
Regarding the intention Of the
president TO build NJ a white
party in the South in order to Sc
cure The white delegates to the
next Republican national conven-
ton who cannot be purchased, Mr..
Money said:
THE president cannot secure an
effective Roosevelt organization in
the South. 1t will be bought up
just as the negroes are bought up.
White men in the South who affil-
late with the Republican party can
be bought as readily as the blacks,
Judging by conditions which pre-
vail in my own State. Whenever
a Mississippian goes into the Re-
publican party, be does SD for the
benefit Of his pocket and nothing
else.
las for the next Democratic
national convention, this talk now
current that the Bryan people will
control and bolt if the principles
of their leader are not enunciated
is all bOsh. OF course, Bryan will
not be nominated. He is not elig-
ible. Neither will David Il. Hill.
Hill cannot secure the support of
the Democracy of the country.
''As for Mr.. German, i do not
regard his prospects as being
favorable. Mr.. German, of course,
commands the respect of men of
both parties. He is a gold man,
but has supported our regular
ticket. The one objection that he
will be obliged to face is the fact
that he has always been more or
less of a protectiOnist, aud that
subject will be a vital one in the
next big campaign. l think Mr..
Germans ideas and record upon
the tariff question will iDjure his
chances for securing the nomina-
ton.
Personally" concluded Mr..
Money, II do not believe the De-
mocracy at large cares continent
tai who is nominated in 1904. The
leaders of the party are not at
tached to any one person. If any
Western Democrat succeeds in
being elected Governor of his
State during the next two years,
that man will be a big factor in
the race for the nomination..
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19
III AlARlA AND
YELLOW JACK

(Yrem y. r. 2ansA. January II. iso2.l
sSThe widow Of DIR. LAzeAre, who, in
tho employ Of the Government, went
20 Cubs, was in0culated with Yellow
Fever through mosquito bites, and died.
applied to Congress for relief to-day"
The above tells Of the sad culmina-
ton Of . series Of experiments by the
clusively that the familiar mosquito 10
. dangerous vehicle for carrying Ma
laria, "Yellow Jack," and other malas-
1al feVeyA
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19

Corn-huskers' sprained wrists. barbsd-
wire outs and spraina. or cuts from any
other cause, are quickly healed whom BAL
LARDB SNOW OINTMENT Il promptly
applied. Price, IS cents and so cents q
j. A. GAY.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19

WHITES CREAM vERMIFUGE il es-
seLtially the ohild's touic- 1t i,nprov yes
the digestion and assimilation of food,
strengthening the nervous system and re-
storing them to the health, vigor and
elasticity OF spirits natural to childhood.
Price Is cents At J. A. GAY.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19

The Clarion-Lcdger has taken 4
bold stand regarding the proposed
extra session of the legislature to
repeal the valued policy clause,
and our Jackson contemporary ie
right in its position. The calling
OF an extra session Of the legisls-
tire for the purpose indicated
would be little short of q surrender
OF the State government to a pow
erful combine. and against the
best interest Of the State. The
Clarion Ledger 10 published in .
cottOn-growing belt. and the Her
aid il proud to. eco il take the
stand it does against the proposed
legislative session. II is clearly
in the right and the masses will
endorse its courses--Biloxi Herald.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19

a six room cottage and 80 acres
OF we'll improved land, about ono
nile west q Aberdeen. For paf-
ticulars apply to CoBrRN & Co.
Sept. ST
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1902-09-19
Eugene
Fields
Views on Ambition and Oys.
popsia.

'Dyspepsia," wrote Eugene Field,
''Often incapacitates man for endeavor
and sometimes extinguishes the fire of
ambition" Though great despite his
complaint Field suffered from indiges-
ton oil his life. A weak, tired stomach
can't digest your food. It needs
rest. You can only rest IL by the use
of . preparation like Kodol. which re-
lisves it of work by digesting your food.
Rest soon restores it to its normal tone.
strengthening,
Satisfying,
EnVIQoratDnQ.
Prepared only by E. @. DEwIrr& Co.. Chicago
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
Sterling Run.
Mrs. Elvia Hart is quite sick.

Mrs. Elvia Hart is quite sick.
Joseph Kissell was in Driftwood Tues
day.
James Furlong is visiting his parents
and friends
A family has moved into the rooms of
the Brooks Hail.
George Hulsinger, of Remove, spent
Sunday in town.
Miss nellie Kissel spent last week with
friends at Driftwood.
Miss Agnes Wade was visiting friends
at Cameron last Saturday.
Miss Alice Williams is staying at the
home Of Mrs. Geo. Strawbridge.
Mr.. j. r. Frank was visiting hi
daughter, Mrs. f. NJ. White at Couders
port.
Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Barr of Dents
Run are visiting at the home of Mrs.
Hart
Miss Edna Summerson, who teaches
school at North Greek, spent Sunday with
her parents here.
The literary society was well attended
last Saturday night. A very good pro-
gram was rendeted.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
The delights Of heaven may be fashion.
ed out of the disappointment Of earth.
A Startling Surprise

Very few could believe in looking at
A. I. Hoadley, healthy. robust black
smith of Tilden, Ind, that for ten years
he suffered such tortures from Rheuma-
tism as few could endure and live. But
a wonderful change followed his taking
Electric Bitters. "Two bottles wholly
cured me, he writes, "and [ have not
felt twinge in over year" They
regulate the Kidneys, purify the blood
and cure Rheumatism, Neural gia,
Nervousness. improve digestion and give
perfect health. Try them. Only soc at
l.. Taggart's drug store
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
We
Have
What
You Need!

To brush up and make beauti-
full your home. The season Of the
year for such work has arrived
and we would call the attention
of the public to our very large
and reliable line of Paints, Oils,
Varnishes, the best in the world.
In addition to the best paints,
we have hrst-class line of De
Voc & Co.'S Brushes. Get
move OH and be prepared to paint
before the worknen are all ell
gagged. We can save you money.
While you are painting your
home or business place let us
talk a little with you on Bath
and Closets, Hot Water, Steam
or anything in that line. Our
increased facilities and expert
workmen will do you good work.
Don't deay until too late.
Farmers should bear i'll mind
that we handle Plows, Harrows,
Rakes, etc. In fact our Hard
ware, Stove and Plumbing De-
partments are up to the best.
Write or wire us, when a COM
petent agent will call on you.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
Sinnamahoning LARS Club.

The liars club held long session in
the graveyard, Saturday night, with
Alex. DeShetler in the chair. \ good
many deer were killed and some bear.
Hanscom was fined the usual amount for
starting medicine show in connection
with the club. The case of Pap Blodget
for reinstatement was hotly discussed. A
vote was taken, resulting in 134 yeas to
l33 nays. 1t was a close shave for the
the old man, but he made it by one vote,
with the understanding that he would
never be allowed to get into politics again.
Pap gave his word of honor to stick to
the grand old club In the future; it is not
so expensive. Frank Jordan was sus-
pended for thirty days for tellinga whop-
per and could net prove it. Harry ard
took the ninth degree. He is able to
compete with any of the young members,
Harvey Smith not excepted. Thos
Snyder reported that he had not told the
the truth in three months, and he was
awarded three cents by the club for his
good qualities as member. Ed Losey
was reinstated again without opposition.
Isaac Bowen, member of our club is
able to hold Jimmy O'Brien within
bounds. Isaac can tell more yarns in
three minutes than any six men on the
Fork After our next meeting we will
be able to tackle Dalrymple. All hands
were invited to have some enthusiasm"
when the meeting suddenly came to an
end Eide.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
AsIeen Amid Flames.

Breaking iuto blazing home, some
fremen lately dragged the sleeping in-
mates from death. Fancied security, and
death near. It's that way when you
neglect coughs and colds. Don't do it
DR.. Kings New Discovery for Consump-
ton gives perfect protection against all
Throat, Chest and Lung Troubles. Keep
it near, and avoid suffering, death, and
doctors bills. A teaspoonful stops late
cough, persistent use the most stubborn
Harmless and Dice tasting, it's guaranteed
to satisfy by i. Taggart. Price soc and
S1.00 Trial bottles free.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
WASHINGTON LETTER.
From our Regular Correspondentl
Washington, Nov. 18th, 1902.

Washington, Nov. nth, 1907.
Editor Press
1--WE hear that the Preside t
shoots well but that. the bears are
having lucky escapes, ''said a men,
Der Of the Presidents clerical staff
when asked if he had received any
private adviceS as to Mr.. ROosevelt's S
success in the South. Referring to
the report that young Theodore
Roosevelt was dangerously i'll, and
that his illness would interfere with
the Presidents outing, Secretary
Barnes told your correspondent that
there was no ground for the report.
Theodore, Jr., has been using his
eyes very hard of late" he said,
"and the doctors desire him to give
them d week rest. He is coming
to Washington to spend that week
with his mother. That is all there
is to the sensational story.
Many Of the senators and repre-
sentatives who are coming to Wash
ington express their amazement that
the President can be away from the
White House at this time and some
are clearly disappointed. They
have numerous "fish to fry" and
the absence of Mr. Roosevelt is
quite disconcerting. The energy
and expedition with which the
President dispatched the major por
ton of his message is unprecedent-
ed but on the other hand he has
worked early and late and has earn
ed the brief respite he isnow enjoy
ing. To those persons entitled to
know, his secretaries explain GER
tain portions of his message and
make notes of their recommenda-
tions, as the President can read
them in a much shorter time than
would be required to listen to the
verbal expression of their views.
With a majority of $500 behind
him, Representative Hepburn has
returned to Washington for the
session. He says that there is no
doubt in his mind but that the
speakership must remain in the
Mississippi valley. Referring to
Mr.. Commons candidacy for the
speakership, he said, "He is an ag-
gressive man, disposed to be arbi-
trary and plssionately addicted to
having his own way, and if these
temperameltal qualities were aided
by the present House rules, there
would be but little necessity for hav-
ing any other representative in the
House than the one from Danville.
(Mr. Commons home). Don t
understand me TO mean that he
would be unjust or usurpatiyc of
power; he would not have to do that;
he would not have to be a usurper;
simply exercise the power conferred
by the Rules on the Speaker. This
fact, in my judgement, makes it desi-
rablc to elect a man rs | think Mr..
Babcock, from his temperament and
and from his ideas OF the relations
which ought to exist between the
individual members and the organic
body Of the House, will strive to
protect the representative character
OF the House.
Mr. Hepburn states that lac has
come 10 Washington early ia order
% prepare for legislation establish
ing a department Of commerce
which he hopes to see enacted.
The Treasury officials regard the
action Of Che German Rcieh-tae, u
adopting the -o-callcd retaliatory
paragraph inurN mriG hiIla- preu-
lialy unfortunate They as that
there s. every pos Ib'l.fg ai lhcHe-
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
Luck in Thirteen.

BY sending - miles VIM. Spirey, of
Walton Furnace. VT, got box of Buck
lens Arnica Salvc that wholly cured a
horrible Fever Sore on his leg. Nothing
else could. Positively cures Bruises,
Corns and Piles. Only 25c. Guaranteed
by l.. Taggart druggist
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

ton precipitating tariff war which
would prove disturbing factor in
the American market and a still
greater injury to Germany. They
entirely discredit the statement of
DR.. Brumer, made in the debate to
the Reichstag, that the American
officials changed the classification
on a large consignment of German
goods in the interest of a trust, and
say that if any change was made it
was because the subordinate officials
had erred in their original appraise-
ment. Of fcourse, no action will be
taken i'll this country unless the
German government undertakes to
discriminate against American
goods but in that event it is prob
able that the President will ask Con-
gress to reciprocate. There is no
power to do so vested in the Presi-
dent.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
Startling, but True.

"If every one knew what grand
medicine DIR. Kings New Life Pills is, u
writes d. Il. Turner, Dempseytown, Pa,
you'd sell all you have in day. Two
weeks use had made new man of me. "
Infalliblc for constipation, stomach and
liver troubles 25c at i. Taggart's drug
store.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

For sick headache try Chamberl s
Stomach and Liver Tablets; they will ward
off the attack if taken in time For sale
by L. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

One Of the first Of his bachelor habits
which a bridegroom overcomes during the
honeymoon is the fancy that he is utterly
unworthy of such an angelic creature
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20
JUST WHAT YOU NEED.
ohamberlain's S Stomach and Liver Table

Chamberlain s Stomach and Liver Tablets
When you feel dull after eating.
When you have no appetite
When you have a bad taste in the
mouth.
When your liver is torpid.
When your bowels are constipated
When you have headache.
When you feel bilious.
They will improve your appetite, cleanse
and invigorate your stomach, and regulate
your liver and bowels. Price % cents
per box. For sale by L: Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

The human fly is apt to mistake ad-
hession, to for possession of the fly paper
of mammon.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

The devil is willing that you should be
called the driver so long as he holds the
reins.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

1t is easier to be eloquent over the
faults of others than to be penitent over
our own.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

They who will not be their brothers
keepers are willing to be their executors.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

The Republican party keeps an
open door for all it's wandering
children. The moment they dis
cover their folly aud take step in
direction of the old home they are
warmly welcomed. Ostracism is
not a Republican principle. The
errors of youth, the resentments of
momentary disappointment, the
delusions which visit some of the
best of men at times, are character
istics of human nature. Most of
us have some recollections which
are not pleasant, because they re-
call moments when folly or passion
or ignorance sat on the throne.
Wisdom will ignore past follies and
mistakes and look hopefully toward
the future.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

The wolves always applaud when the
shepherd whips the sheep.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1902-11-20

The men who skim the milk of human
Kindness curdle the cream with their
hands.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-05-29
CHAPTER ".
THINGS SLOW AND LIVELY.

Within a few days our company was
organized. and we recruits were gathered
into tents OF our own. But we continued
Go be thoroughly miserable. The cavalry
camp seemed such a shiftless. do nothing
place for all who were not recruits that
thought seriously OF writing private
better to President Lincoln suggesting
that he should have this large and lazy
body Of men go out and kill some rebels
or do something else that would help end
The war. II seemed 10 me that the men
saw lounging about me could not possi-
bly, be the same who had been all the
talk OF the post when the Ninety-ninth
was there.
We recruits did very little lounging We
were drilled pretty steadily In the use OF
q saber. a weapon which did not feel or
act anything like we had supposed, For
DAYS It seemed too heavy and clumsy for
me ever TO use to any purpose. and l
doubted whether ever should be able to
injure the Confederacy or defend myself
by any OF the thrusts, points OF cuts OF
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-05-29
CHAPTER vi.
At LAST.

One night as we were falling asleep
just after taps the first sergeant came
To our tent and said:
"All men turn out TO draw revolvers
ard ammunition. The whole regiment
starts on scout right after breakfast
In the morning. The horses will reach
camp tonight"
And that glorious, soul thrilling order
was delivered In as careless tones as II
the sergeant had merely come In for
man TO carry wood for the cook I made
up my mind that the sergeant was not
the man for his place and that the cap
tain showed himself unfit for his bust
ness by appointing such a man.
Nevertheless | hurried TO the sergeants
tent. and my soul thrilled with patriotic
JOY as l saw the great wooden box full
of revolvers of the heaviest caliber.
knew something about revolvers my
father having Invented one and allowed
me to help him In some of his expert
ments. | mentally made the calculation
right there that II each man In the rogi-
ment fired only one shot at close quar-
ters, which is all the revolver is AT for I'm
war. there would be about 1000 fewer
effective men I'm the Confederate army by
the time we returned.
Besides the revolver each man received
a holster 10 be worn at the belt, a car
fridge box and box for percussion caps,
for this was before the days OF metallic
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1902-05-29
Oleo Hasa a New Rival.

Anxious housewives will be glad to
know that "vegetaIine." made by Mar
settles firm by refining oil extracted from
the coprah dried cocoanup, and now
placed on the English market is not. as
IL was feared. an imitation butter, or
even u substitute for butter In its domes-
TIC uses According 10 the makers
agents. 'vegctaline" is almost entirely a
manufacturers article. although II can
be used in the kitchen for making pastry,
and will be supplied In retail N there Is
any demand for II. But the value Of the
process by which "vegetaiine" is made
will. ~ is claimed. be In providing bakers
ard biscuit manufacturers with n sub
stltute for butter which r. not only pure
and cheap. but which for biscuits In par
ticular. Is better than butter.-London
Express