Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1902-08-07

Il AM WELL AWARE OF THAT, HE SAID.
way. Haven't l got about $50 worth
of tools? Don't know how to handle
themr
II wish you had given your order
at the shop, as other folks do"
"I'n be hanged If pay any $S for
pair of doors when l can make 'em for
$3 You are always dead set against
anything / undertake"
'NIr. Bowser, you can't make a screen
door. You can't hang one. Don't
blame me when the failure comes"
Blame you! Are you getting crazy?
If those doors are not n success, you
won't hear n word of fault from me,
not a peep. was thinking Of order
ing 'em, but being you have stuck
your nose up so high I'll make 'em
now Just to show you that can do it!'
Three-quartcrs of an hour later, hav-
Ing hurried through dinner and got in
to an old suit of clothes, he carried the
lumber down cellar and then spent
twenty minutes measuring for the
front doors Mrs. Bowser kept out Of
It for an hour, but finally went down
and found the stuff all cut to lengths
and Mr.. BOwser making half mortises
at the ends.
aren't our front doors higher than
this!" she asked as she picked up one
of the side pieces.
Haven't you any housework to see
to" he brusquely replied.
you've got 'em n foot too short"
"Oh, | have, eh? Some folks eyes
are better than carpenters rule"
She went back up stairs, but 1t
wasn't long before she saw him sneak
ing around to the front with one of
the pieces. She watched him as he
triedet, and it was all of twelve inches
short. Mr.. Bowser scratched his ear,
groWled like bear and looked as fool
ish as a boy caught in a harvest apple
tree. Ten minutes later he was saw
ing out other strips
"Were they too shortY she asked as
he worked away.
"N-no, but l thought I'd get heavier
stuff" he mumbled in reply.
Mrs. Bowscr considerably with
drew, and in the course of half an hour
he had one of the frames nailed to-
gcther and was trying it in the space
for which it was designed. She ap-
pcared in the hall, followed by the cat,
and after glance she said:
Mr. Bowser, that door is squce-
gawed."
"Squcegawed? SQueegawed? What
does that stand for in the back coun-
tiesf"
Your door is wider at the bottom
than at the top"
ut can't ben'
"But your own eyes will convince
you. There's an inch difference"
Never! I'll bet you a million dol
lars there isn't n hairs BREADTH
She ran for the tapeline and soon
proved that the difference was over
an inch.
"Oh, well, | can fix that in min
ute" he said as he lugged the frame
off, but it was bedtime before he call
ed to her that the wire was tackled on
and the door finished. She went down
to look 1t over and presently asked:
(Which do you call the outside of
your doOrT
"Why, the side this way, of course"
"Then you've tackled the cloth on the
inside"
That's where it belongs"
You never saw it there, Mr.. Bow
ser-never! And look at the way you
have tackled the stuff on! It's bumped
up in a dozen different places because
you pulled it askew."
There isn't one hump-not the sign
of a hump. III give any man a billion
dollars to make a better job of 1t! All
that door needs is painting"
But don't they paint the frames be-
fore they tack the cloth oni How are
you going to paint the inside of the
frameP
Don't worry yourself about this job,
Mrs. BowSCr | wasn't born alongside
of n hucklcbCrry marsh"
But after she had gone up stairs he
tore off the wire, painted the frame
and then tackled the wire on the other
side The hour was late, and he con
cluded to do no more until morning
That night he kicked around in his
sleep in the most awful manner, and at
about o'clock in the morning he sud
denly sat up in bed and exclaimed:
"Squeegawcd! I'll bet you four hun
1rpd Thousand billion dollars against
cent that they are as plumb as ruler