, 1902-06-17

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| NJ MS SelectlO0 OF
Mr.. H. Clay Evans success
sor. Representative Calder
head Of Kansas leaned over
wv IN his e In the house and
~ conided to Representative
~ Lands of Indiana in q stage
whisper. that Mr.. Eugene F. Ware was
to be made pension commissioner.
Who in the mischief Is Eugene F.
Ware?" inquired Mr.. Lands, a blank
expression upon his face.
why. don't you know of Ware; did
you never hear of him." asked Mr..
Caluerhead In surprise. ITO acknowl-
edge that is to confess ignorance Of
the literature of your country. Why.
Ware is the celebrated '%Ironquill.'"
why. you don't mean to tell me
that %'Ironquill' is to be made commits
sioner Of pensions. do you?" ex-
claimed Mr.. Lands, this time an ex-
preston o his face which indicated
that he had been familiar with Iron
quill" since boyhood days. but was
surprised to know he had been Sc
lected for the office named.
After Mr.. Calderhead had left, Mr..
Lands remarked to Representative
Hill, who was sitting beside him:
Il never heard of 'lronquill.' but l
didn't intend to give myself away"
Senator Berry came down from the
national capitol in a street al n
afternoon. accompanied by a constitu-
ent. The senator paid the a fare.
Senator Cockrell was on the car. He
leaned over to Senator Berry and
said:
Don't you know senator, that you
shouldn't waste your money like that?
You shouldn't pay car fare for all
these constituents that come along.
You can't afford It,"
And don't you know, SENATOR re-
piled Senator Berry, that when a
gentleman pays another gentleman's
a fare the other gentleman is in
honor bound to set up the drinks?"
"Crum," said ex-Speaker Reed, who
is In Washington to argue a case be-
fore the supreme court. to Represen-
tive CrumpacKer of Indiana, Il under
stand you are hammering at my
rules?"
YES" replied Crumpacker, Il am
taking a hack at them"
"Crum." the big ex-speaker said,
reprovingly, who are you that you
should triie with the productions Of
genius?"
A man named johnson was q an
didate for q consulship and the Iowa
delegation were backing him for the
place. They finally found = vacancy
to which the president promised to ap-
point their candidate. Thereupon Mr..
Johnson went to the state department
to undergo the usual examination as
to his fitness. He had no trouble un-
til he reached the sixth question:
How many Hessians came to the
country to fight for the English"
johnson didn't know, but he did
not propose to be left entirely. This
is what he wrote for the answer:
"A great many more than ever went
back"
About q month ago q constituent
of Senator Depew came to him to seek
his influence In getting an ONCE.
you write a letter telling what you
want, and I will forward 1t with my
Endorsement" said the senator when
he had heard the mans story.
Yesterday the man met the SeuA-
tor in the capitol lobby.
"You remember telling me to write
you a letter." he said.
20 yes" was Mr.. Depew's reply. as
he cordially grasped the visitor by
the hand. Let me see. You sent me
the letter didn't you. and II I remem-
Der rightly l Endorsed 1t strongly"
NO" said the man. Il never wrote
the letter. I've been sick"
Since the warm weather began there
haa haan a startling array of brilliant