The Savannah morning news., 1902-12-17

ct. l coached my tailor, and gave her
ladyship $40. Christmas morning the
dear woman led me up toIone Of those
ready to-wear cosy corners for $14 9S.
On the near-slk couch cover was
spread out a homemade smoking jack
ct. Shed ripped up my second best
Tuxedo for a pattern and there were
tucks, or frills, or something of the
sort, under my arms so that / couldn't
raise my hand to my head. The blamed
thing won't wear out, and she has
never ceased to congratulate herself
on how much more she got for that
twenty than If Scott, my tailor, had
made the smoking jacket.
Thompson, who is paying teller in
the Green Park Bank, drew something
shiny from his breast pocket and laid
it reverently on the table.
There, gentlemen, is bit Of vertu
that / have been carrying about for
two long years, / can't lose 1t, nor
can / give it away, because my mono
gram stares me in the face"
The association ."'rubbered" to a man,
and saw a richly engraved cigarette
case
Now. I'll leave it to you. fellows"
continued Thompson, plantively;
'have | ever been known to smoke a
cigarette?"
A chorus Of mo- answered his ques-
ton.
And my wife--heaven bless her
bought this because she said the cigar
cases were so bulky they'd spoil the
shape of my pockets"
Boys, what's the use of keeping this
up?" interrupted the president. We've
all been there. We've had hand-paint-
ed shaving cases with tissue paper that
Wits at the sight of a razor. We've
had sofa cushions that looked better
after all on the new drawing room d.
van. We've had neckties that would
fill the soul of a Dutch comedian with
joy. We've had fountain pens that
wouldn't spot on demand. We've had
handkerchief and necktie cases that
yawned and scattered out haberdash
cry to the four winds of heaven. And
now the question is, What's the rem
edy?"
Lets give our wives last years
gowns suggested Johnson.
They'll cut 'em over" said the pes
simistic Frisbie.
TRY near-gold smoking sets"
what is the matter with charter
ing a yacht and taking to sea-"
Lets have a typewriter list of
things we don't want made for gen.
eral distribution"
The president demanded order and
announced:
1.-The debate is closed. The secre-
tary will now read some resolutions
which he has been framing UP while
the rest Of you were trying to be fun
ny. Let her go, ellis
This is what the secretary read:
Whereas, we. the members of the
Association of Long Suffering Hus-
bands, have in times past jointly and
severally suffered great in body and
spirit from the loving ministrations
of our affectionate spouses who, at
various and sundry times prior to the
merry Christmas season, have sur
reptitiously relieved us of all loose
change and such big bills as they
could lay hands on, for the purpose
of purchasing gifts which we do not
and cannot use. be It.
Resolved, that we, theSmembers OF
the Aforesaid association, do hereby
pledge ourselves to give and con-
tribute to the association hereinbe-
. fore mentioned, in the person of its
treasurer, all those moneys which in
time past we have left In our trousers
pockets as a snare and a temptation
to the sharers of our joys and sor-
rows, the same to be devoted to some
Just and worthy cause; and be II
Resolved that this just and
worth cause be declared to be
smoker to be given at such reason
able time after the Christmas holt
days. as shall be decided by the pres-
dent best fitted for an exchange or
experiences and a decision as to the
value of the plan herein proposed"
The resolution was adopted by ac-
,clamation.