Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1902-07-11
GRUNTS FROM A GROWER.


Old Song.
Iv.-Is PATRIOTISM ON THE wANE?
Your correspondent has been closing
his eyes to painful truths for some
time past, in the hope that the Chris
ian Science method of ignoring things
that are painful or unpleasant might
cause them to disappear, or at least
cease to prod one continually, but 1
find it won't work and l must grunt
or lose caste with those who have
always shown proper regard for my
growing.
The time of the year when the la
tent patriotism in the bosom of the
people finds joyful ebullition in those
acts of genial hospitality toward the
hosts of guests who flock to our towns
and cities approaches-the gladstone
Fourth of July season. Yes, that is
the way you would think it was. to
hear us talk; but alas! chow have
the mighty fallen?" The reality is
quite different.
We talk about what great prepare
tons We are making to entertain the
visitors. Yes, entertain is the word
We use. but is it appropriate? Let us
review the usual programme, and then
calmly and dispassionately judge
whether it is or not. The town which
has decided to celebrate proceeds az
follows: A committee is appointed to
solicit subscriptions from the business
men, who will stand the best chance
to get it back from the guests, and get
out posters, which resemble circus bills
in more ways than one, i. e. have the
same colored letters, use just as ex-
travagant language and tell fully as
many lies. The public is informed
that every thing possible will be done
for the pleasure and convenience Of
the invited; that the town will be
"wide open," and the people will make
their sole concern the happiness and
comfort of the same. One would
think they were willing to pay you a
few dollars to come and enjoy yourself.
But, as I have said before, there is
just scintilla of difference between
the profession and the practice. The
dear people come to town in droves
from the rural districts, prepared to
absorb all sorts of good things. One
day used to be sufficient, but business
interests demanded that the time be
extended to three, because we are be-
coming more patriotic, OF course. but
some people might think it was be.
cause the guests may possibly have a
dollar or two more than they would
spend in one day, but that is libel.
Judging from the posters, it would
be impossible to get anywhere near
the town without seeing all sorts of
sights. So the crowd tramp about,
and all they see are ice-cream signs
and bunting, until 10 o'clock, when
the pole.vault, scheduled at s, comes
off.
A place for this event has been care
fully selected upon the sunny side of
some brick building. and contiguous
to a few saloons. and an ice-cream
joint or two.
The entrees are numerous enough
to work the multitude up to = proper
degree Of thirst, that is the prime de.
sideratum.
After this, do they have the foot.
race, the shot put, and the other ath-
letic competitions in the same placer
Why, bless you soul! No. Of course
not; the dear people wouldn't get
thirsty enough, and tired and dis.
gusted enough, il that were done.
The announcement is promptly made
that the shot put will take place some
fourteen blocks distant; maybe not so
far as that, because this is the ice
cream mans inning. and they don't
want the people to take the cars, but
walk 80 rs to pass all the saloons and
candy stores; that is, if they don't 60
in.
And 10 every event is just a few
blocks removed from the last, until
the weary sightseers have tramped
each street, and collected at all inter.
sections. By this time, they have
walked some ten or fifteen miles, swal.
lowed smoke and dust enough TO choke
. locomotive, had their clothes burned
full of holes by fire-crackers. their
nerves shattered by bombs, and they
begin to perceive that all is not gold
that glitters; more especially in a
Fourth Of July posters. The male
portion of the aggregation begin to
have the feeling Of q man that has
been taken in by the same old sell,
and the women wish they were home.
The children-dear little cherubim
don't feel any thing but their burned
fingers, and don't care where they are
90 things can be made perfectly miser-
able for everybody. This is not the
childrcn's fault, however; the trouble
is that they cannot reconcile the
spirit OF patriotism, AZ voiced by our
forefathers. with this performance,
anyway. Of course this is easily Wis.
IDLE to an adult.
The next thing in order is something
to eat. This very important matter
attended to, the victims sally forth
with renewed strength to tackle some
thing else, which they are given oppor.
tunity to do forthwith.
The programmes say there will be
baseball game, few miles out in the
suburbs, to the southwark of the city.
Right here the transportation compa-
MES realize upon their investment OF
q few dollars in the fund to entertain
the visitors. You get big toe upon
carstep. and hang on by your personal
magnetism, with man weighing one
hundred land eighty pounds, standing
on the aforesaid big toe until you ar.
rive at the ball grounds. Here you
are pushed and choked, and walked on.
! The crowd is so dense you can't see
the game after all; so you 60 back to
town. You soon hear that there is to
be football game seventeen miles
out to the eastward of the city. You
60 out there, under the same condi.
tions, with the same results.
The thing is getting monotonous in
the extreme. and when you learn of .
pyrotechnic display to be shot off six
And n half mi1oa ouk to tha mouth vo,,