Waterbury Democrat., 1902-04-02
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Some of the Obstacles to Telephone
 Comnetftion.

| COuipCLAllO4s
 In Los Angeles a new telephone company is striving to displace the old While the citizens and business people generally are delighted with the idea I of competition. and would willingly do anything to down the monopoly 7 they are fearful to degree of encour- aging new company, as it might ne- cessitate them subscribing to two con- panies in order to have all their friends and customers on their line. When Abram Goldenstein. who runs a grocery story in Los Angeles, was approached by a solicitor for the new company and asked to sign con- tract to have new telephone put in, he said:
 Why shoult do ut. yes? Why I shoult git me arudder telephones?"
 The solicitor told him that the new company was prepared to supply a service much cheaper than the rates now charged for telephones.
 T shoult do ut to safe money may 1 be yes?" said GOldenstein with dan- gerous sweetness.
 The solicitor told him that he had just hit the idea exactly.
 Whereupon Goldenstein gnashed his teeth. '.Yes. I safe me moneys. Yes, that is preety goot way for to safe me moneys. If I haf von telephone vich costs too mooch money. den I shoult 1 git two telephones und make sheep ness, yes?''
 The solicitor venturea te suggest that he needn't have but one tele- phone-that. of course, the new one.
 Yes. dat is a preety goot smart I ness," said Goldenstein witheringly. You are preety smart young man, yes? shoult haf von telephone. yes Den Jacobson or some udder grocer haf two telephones und I shoult as besser haf no telephone at all. Yes? Maybe ut iss some feller want some groceries unt he haf in his house der | olt telephone unt he cand cont down to der store cause he is sick. Den vat you spose he do, yes? He telephones to Jacobson, who has two telephones, unt if Jacobson vonce gifts him init his grip in, I don see um no more. Dat iss de ent of my customer, because Jacobson haf coople of telephones unt l don't. Dot is der sheepness, yes?"
 T tell you vat you do," added Gold enstein, "You put der people vat don pay der pills on der new telephone altogether, unt I pay you for tele- phone, but I don haf von in der shop. No, you bettcha nit'
 The solicitor suggested that it would be fine idea even to have both tele- phones, for there would not be so much chance then of the line being busy. He said telephone rates would be so much lower that two telephones could be put in for what one costs now.
 Dat voult pc gread. yes?' said ,Goldenstein, contemptuously "Yes. dat voult be preety goot Maybe I am in my store, unt I hear der tele- phone bell ring himself, unt den I shoomp preety qvick, unt I say. sHel- 10, hello, hello,' unt der aind no an- swer. Int 1 ring cop der chief sassy girl, and she say she don know nod dings aloud i'd, unt she didn't ring der bell. Den I know vat iss der trouble init. choomp preety qyick to der odder telephone den, bud der telephone is stopped. unt it iss all rung oud ana de people iss mat unt maybe gone to Jacobson to drade. Yes; unt maybe l got me customer No 222, one of dem clups where dey play penuchle unt drink peer, unt 1 haf got me to tele- phone to dem. Int on de udder tele- phone I haf got me udder customer yich is de president of de temperunce society, un har noomper is main 222 on der odder telephone How you tin5 he voult sound if I get me twisted some day and ring cop de wrong 222 unt tell de temperance vo- mans dat can't sent cop der bottle beer til de poy gets pack?' How you tink dat vas, yes? I tink dey both get mad preety QvicE unt go to Jacobson to drade.''
 '.Maype I like to drop nickel in der | slot unt find it oud dat I haf de wrong telephone got, yes?
 When you der new telephones got. you will nod ask like dis: Iss dis main 222Y but you will haf to say is de Sunset telephone, dis?'
 l s.Maype 1 come into my store some day unt 1 flint q note from de poy to say dat vas to call cop No 223. unt l de man wish to say sometings to me aloud pill Int maype it iss dat on von off der 223s I haf me a man vich is owing me pig pill, unt on de udder 223 iss der wholesale house vich I am owing a pig pill. nt if it der wrong 223 don't vawnt to ring um oop, yes
 How I shoult know vich it is, yes
 ''Maype I like to know if Jones haf a telephone. Int ven der new te1e- phone coomes in I haf me got to look through two books to find oud '.Unt say, ware got me to put um, yes? Maype I rent me store for to take cop all de room init telephone poxes. yes?
 '.Unt dat makes der city look preety nice. yes? When der new telephones i ged der streets all cobwebbed cop.
 T don't vawnt me no new tele- 1 phones nod if you giffer me ut as sheeper as holdings. I tink it iss preety goot when ye leaf bat enough py himself.''