Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1902-05-17
A PAIR OF SOCKS.
ny EMMA NJ. WISE.

&
reach this high degree -of saturation was a
mystery even TO Mr.. Biltmore, but that they
had reached it was painfully evident when
be got home and tried to take off his shoes.
As rule, his shoes slip Oft quite easily.
but that night they, as well as the rest O..
bis garments, gave evidence OF having EN-.
tered into an agreement TO stick to him nc
matter what befell, and, handicapped as he
was by fear Of waking his vile, Biltmors
had long and fierce tussle with himself be
fore he finally succeeded in disroblng.
Even after he did manage to creep into
bed his slumbers were anything but peace
full, and long before six o'clock the next
morning his conscience was prodding him
good and hard and bidding him lie up and
about before Mrs Biltmore opened her eyes
on the disordered scene Of his post-midnignt
revels.
Thus dashed by that inexorable monitor,
Mr.. Biltmore crawled out Of bed and stood
waveringly id the midst of the sartorial con.
fusion. 10 the right Of him, to the left OF
him and all about him lay odds and ends
OF masculine and feminine wearing apparel.
As Biltmore looked upon the chaotic con-
fusion his head, which had been none too
steady to start with, lurched spasmodieally
from side to side, and he toppled over
against rocking chair for support.
Presently he partially regained his equiib.
rum. After bathing his eyes and doing a
few other little things to promote his gem
eral welfare he began to look for his socks.
He found them after awhile hanging over a
line near the window. He sat down in the
useful rocking chair and began to remon-
strate silently and earnestly with the re
fractory hosiery.
First one foot, then the other, was iabbed
against the opening into the soft black
socks but no matter how hard Biltmore
tugged and strained he found it impossible
to push even the tips of his toes past the
ankle without splitting the socks from heel
to toe. Biltmore finally forced a sock into
this half way position on either foot and
sat looking at the result ruefully.
M Lord" he groaned in spirit. "How
these socks did shrink las night. I've heard
of things shrinkin' b'fore, but | never saw
anything shrink like these socks did"
With that he braced himself and pulled
with both hands. The force thus exerted
was more than even the best black silk
thread could stand, and with a ripping
sound the fbers parted company. The foot
of the sock lay spread out before him in
Two separate pieces In his dismay he gave
a desperate tug at its mate, and it, too, split
rom end to end.
Biltmore surveyed the ruin obviously
"I'm done for now he soliloquized Il
wonder where Carrie keeps m clean socks?
+ can't find 'em III have to go downtown
like in'cent country boy that's
al. Soclless Jerry! Lord Wonder how
I'll like it 2"
Mr.. Biltmore then instituted an anxious
but Intellectual search of bureau drawers.
While thus engaged he caused lock to
click with unnecessary emphasis, and Mrs.
Bitrnore sat bolt upright, as if worked by
! communicating spring, and looked about
For goodness sake, Tom" she demand
ID, what in the world do you mean by get
ting up so early?'
"Bus' ness, M dear" said Biltmore, with
a conciliatory grin. Los bus ness to zen
to to-day. Have t get downtown ex-
tr' ord nar'ly early"
what are you doing in the bureau?" she
asked.
'Lookin' FIR my socks, m dear" said
"Lookin' FIR m socks, that's all"
Mrs. Biltmore's gaze travelled to the mid
die of the floor, and the first object her eyes
lighted upon was the wrecked hosiery.
Whats that?" she cried, in tense, clear
tones.
Bltmore tried to evade the query, but
t was no use M old socks, m dear" he
replied II got m feet wet las night. N
socks shrunk like ever thing. Shrunk so
couldn't get 'em on. Tore EN- all to thun
Her."
Mrs. Biltmore reached the scene of de-
struction with one bound and dangled
sock from each hand. Her eyes grew bright
and her breath came in little gasps like
sobs.
Tom Biltmore, you big goose" she cried,
do you know what you have done? These
ire my socks that you have been trying to
ret on-mine, 40 you hear!
Biltmore leaned forward with a dazed
smile But they're socks, m dear" he
"That is just what | said, she retorted,
'Of course they are socks-my socks
But they're short" expostulated Bit
more, still uneonvinced. women don't
wear short socks They wear stock rs
ong stock'n's"
Mrs. Biltmore took from workbox on
he taDle tne taSllOn note OF the uate OF |
February %. "Not any more they don't"
she said Just read this and you'll find
,ut. Stockings are out of date. Socks are
III the style. Every woman that thinks any
hing Of herself is going to wear them.
lust got these yesterday. paid FIVE dol
airs for them. They are rather expensive
now, because the fad of short socks for
women is now and the cheaper grades are
iot yet in the market. And here you've
.orn these into shreds. That's five dollars
gone toto
''To thunder" supplemented Biltmore,
illing in the pause with his cwn stock
phrase. "But where have my own socks
gone to, wonder?' he added hopelessly |
Wonder f they've gone TO thunder, tooy'
Mrs. Biltmore pointed to the wash
stand.
There she said, spread out across the
water pitcher"
Biltmore seized his own neither garments
and drew them through his fingers thought.
ully.
They look the right size" he said, Il
thought it was mighty funny pair o socks