The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-02-22
The NonpareiI Man
1T IL IL Change.

Ssh=ft#.5Elt IL IL CHHmse.
"A man who hasn't anything against the
Rapid Transit company, but who must have
his bon mot wires in that it is a great relief
to people who have to stand on their feet
all day to be able to stand on other peoples
feet on the way home.
Casually Observed.
1t was no particular credit to Washington
if he could not tell a lie, not to do so. For
a person who lies easily and without strain,
to refuse to lie is creditable
When Ira d. sankey climbed down the fire
escape at Battle Creek he was not accom-
panied by the piano. There wasn't time.
Riverside Ranch on the Platte In Ne
braska has been sold. When the Platte is
low DIT is said there isn't "a suspicion of
river within 300 miles.
Mr.. Tellers long arguments against Phil
ppine retention appear to be wasted effort
while the country Is suffering so much worse
under the gold standard
The Turkish authorities have held Madame
Tsilka's husband charged with being Access
sorry to the crime of missionary -snatching.
Must we pay to get Mr.. Tsilka loose, too?
Hitting your brother man with club is
not the way to keep a political party. nor
church, harmonious.
remarkable storm twisted the gulf stream
out of place temporarily. 1t will be cold
day for England if it ever gets a permanent
twist.
When he hears the censure of Wall street
the president is likely to shrink like SOC
unlaundered shirt.
Fire escapes at Battle Creek Sanitarium
saved about. 100 lives. Fire escapes may not
be very handsome, but there are times when
a man would freely give SIS to see one out
side his window.
Spain's revolution indicates that the coun-
try ought to pull up stakes and have itself
towed over alongside of South America.
An advertisement has been recently appear
ing in North Italian journal Offering CON-
stant employment to experts capable OF imi-
tating the handwriting of old manuscripts.
Bibliphiles are preparing for food Of
valuable documents on the market.
r The New York Post tries to make out that
President Mckinley in 1898 concealed certain
documents telling Of Spanish concessions. He
held them back so as to bring on the war
to make out that Mr.. Mckinley was a blood
thirsty ruler who descended to trickery and
subterfuge in order to bring about bloodshed.
Elijah Dowie and the Sultan Of Turkey
are suffering from excessive brother-in-law.
full page Of a recent New York Journal
was devoted to a description of the recent
scene in Bostock's zoo, when pig was slowly
crushed to death by an anaconda. At the
time, Bostock and his lecturer, Professor
Rollins were present and hugely enjoyed
the sight-the latter with the keen interest
of scientist; and Captain Bonavfta, having
his camera with him. took photographs OF
the scene for the future education" of the
Young Was it not indeed, beautiful sight!
Advice to the Doctor.
The New Prague Sun tells the story of a
Lake Crystal doctor who sent out some dun
ming letters few weeks ago and In response
to one he is said to have received the fol-
lowing:
Dear Sur-This note wus put out in my box
by mistake. / han't the man. hees dead and
amt any relative of mine anyhow. How dose
your conshens let you dun the dead? Why
don't you lead better christon life and try
to meet that man in heaven, which is worth
more than forty dollars to any doctor.
An Historic Incident, Feb. %, 1855.
Towards the close of his life Washington is
said to have become especially tired OF the
cherry tree joke and eny reference to 1t dur
ing his presidency, even. was the occasion
for decided chilliness in the atmosphere.
Now, General Washington was not one OF the
hearty how are you-boys kind of politicians
even in his gayer moments. but when he
considered it necessary to assume the cold
demeanor everybody in his immediate vicin-
ity suffered from cold feet. I we'll remember
on the 22d Of February, 1886. when Jefferson
came in. all smiles, and remarked breezily,
rubbing his hands:
"Well. George, have you been grinding that
historic Ratchet this morning?"
The effect on Washington was much as if
he had been kicked by fourth class post
master. He frcze instantly and remarked in
his iciest tone:
"S;r, this matter of fathering ones coun-
try may stand, although it has it's disad-
vantages. But any reference to the cherry
tree I take as a personal insult
ooh, that's all right, George" replied JEFF
ferson IT didn't mean anything by 1t.
didn't know you were 'touchy' on history"
Sir" replied Washington with dignity, II
am 'touchy,' as you vulgarly express it. on
this matter of hatchets and cherry trees, and
would ask you to drop all reference to
them in our future intercourse
washington stood with one hand in his shirt
front and the other resting on the table, and
Jefferson replied rather testify, "Oh, certain
w." and went on sorting some papers at his
desk.
The unhappy incident might have terminal
ed here had not James Madison at that mo-
ment entered the office with twinkle in his
eye and laid a large candy Ratchet on the
table before the president. Jefferson Winked
fra1tically at him to call him off. but Mr..
Madison, who was then too young and too
rash to know better. thought ut good
Joke and would not be restrained.
''Mr. President" he said, striking an atti-
tude 81 desire, on behalf Of my constituency,
to present you---
The presidents wrath had risen perceptibly
at every word.
"sir," he Numbered in a tone that re-
echoed through the capitol. you and your
commissioners MAJ GO
Here the president recollected himself with
an effort and turned and left the room.
what in the name of all that is gracious
exclaimed Mr.. Madison. staring at the closed
door in b1all, surprise, "is the matter with
His Majesty this morning."
uSay James,. replied Mr.. Jefferson. "you
don t want to fool with George There's a
horrible weight of dignity resting on him
that he has to live UP to, and here you come
Juggling in an asinine candy hatchet-a sub
iect on which he is particularly tender just
now"
"You don't tell me- replied Mr.. Madison.
$50 I've gone and put my foot in it. I pre-
sumo Gallatin will get that treasury portfolio
now
rI'm afraid he WILL James," replied Mr..
Jefferson 'But never mind. When get in,
we'll annex the Mississippi river, and there
will be offices enough to go around and a
few to spare"
Mr. Madison tossed the candy Ratchet into
the waste basket and went out thoughtfuhy.