The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1902-04-13

delphia Press.
Have you read the latest book?'
mo. 1 haven't read a thing to-day."-D
troit Free Press.
that 1t Is getting late"
Il should not think you would"
Yes, she Is always so afraid she haal
tended me. Then it takes another hour.
square it up."-Indiaaapolis News.
do I look like q sugar beet?" demand
the indignant statesman whom the lobby
was attempting to bribe.
Il don't know about that. SIR" respon0
the lobbyist. grabbing his hat. but =
are acting like a turnip"-Chicago Trfb11
d the new neighbors annoy You
much by borrowing as their predecsana
didT' asked Mr.. Biykins.
NO" answered his wife. They have
run over to borrow . thing. I never q
anybody quite 30 naughty and unsociahGl
Washington Star.
Saved By the Signal Services.
Longleigh: Then you didn't proposes
Miss Gotrox after au?"
Shortleigh: NC. Ny knowiedgs Of
sienal-serv1ce code saved me from maxi
q fool Of myself"
Longleigh: well, put me on"
Shortlelgh: Just as I was about to e
init myself h hotsted the cold-wave d
OF Course Not.
MY son." said the parson to . small q
who was digging in a back lot. don't =
know that 1t Is a sin to dig on the q
bath. except in Gaze of necessity" E
Yes. SIR" replied the youngster.
Then why don't you stop it?' asked &
good man.
"'cause this il a case Of necessity !
piled the young philosopher. "A Teller CT
fish without bait"
The Place for Then.
'Pwhat de yez call thin things?' a.
the Irishman on board a steamboat, pot
ing to a lot Of queer-looking objects 4
deck. -
"They are nfe-preservers." replied . &
stander.'
"Loif-preservers?'' echoed the son Of n
Thin why amt they afther takin' thin.
tn hospital where payple do be doyin' -
viry a u dunno."
'I like to hear a man whistle at 4
work. sure. and I do too, for "
/ hear a whistle I always shtop," rep
Mike.-Yonkers Statesman.
A Judges little daughter. who had Z
tended her fathers court for the first tin
was very much interested in the procee1
ings. After her return home she told II
mother: Papa made a speech and -
eral other men made speeches to twelS
men who sat all together. and then theI
twelve men were put In a dark chamber
developed."-Chicago News. =
| H-H-E&s
Mrs. Guimp: I understand you Il
some trouble with Mrs. Kick. where ~
last workedg' Hired Girl: Il didn't b
no trouble wild her. num-. Shure II wur ~
thot had tn trouble wild ms."-Columb1
Ohio State Journal.
DE man dat playes de bosses regIazs
said Uncle Eben. 'is liable to do 500
great gueSsin' at de track. But dat an
to de guessin' he's fble to do VIII
landlord m roun' fob de rent
Washington Star.
Have you made any efforts to cole
your speeches for the benefit of posterfty5
asked the admiring friend WHATS e
useT' asked Senator Sorghum. "Posterfl
hasn't any vote."-Washington Star. -
MY daughter tells me- said old ~
Lotsercoyne. that you are anxious to nal
her happy. Exactly So" replil
pompous Lord Norox. I'm glad to hes
it" said the wise old gentleman. II VI
afraid you wanted to marry her. Gooe
day.'-Philadelphia Press. :
Higgins. proprietor OF the .Bowe1I
VILE grocery and dry5oods emporium. IN
here's ST Simkins an Joe Skinner H
been OWN me SO apiece fer ~ fer e
rear. an they jest won't pay up. an no
Congress Is goin' ahead an maxim . III
to perfect sugar people that. I eu11
see why sugar beats is entitled to a.
show than other rascals."-BalttuM
Rasson Tatters: please. lady. GIN
a dime an help me to die in peace. M
Gocdart (handipg him a quarter): 'pQC
Are you so bad as that? But ste|
I smell liquor on your breatA1
Tatters: "YeSm; OATS what ktlH
me."-Philadelphia Press.
arMy Seat, Madam. 3
IT wonder who 1t was who first I'd
never lose anything by politepessYeS
II don't know. Why?"
"Oh, nothing, except that It's plein I
never rode in q street car with q crowds
vomen."-Catholic Standard.
Suspicious.
Barnes: 'But you think the fellow 70 h
est. don't your
"Howes: II hope he Is, u he ID % pat
nlar to return a lead pencil he 49,
rowed that really, you know. voc can't
yuspecting him Just . uttle."-Boston n
script ~