The age-herald., 1902-02-16

 We're people out here on tn des'late plains where tn sun sets pink acrost tn gray desert an tn scorpion clings to tn toe. We don't pianny tuners or plasther saints to govern us. We want men who go to bed with their spurs on, an can break gun without spikin' their thumbs. We'll have thim, too Undher precedin' Administrations, tn job wint to tn la-ads with no more qualifications thin is needed to run dairy lunch. Some iv tn bes' places in tn West is held be tn poorest shots, while men capable of tn mos stnrikin' gun plays is left to devote their talents to private functions. An they call that tn merit systeml I expict tn time is near at hand whin justice will be done these worthy citi- zens, At prisint whin man is needed i, fir govermint office, he is called on to set down with sheet iv pa-aper an a pot iv ink an say how many times eight-an' '-a-half will go into a line dhrawn firm tn base iv tn hypothe- moose, an if he makes tn answer bright an readable, they give him a place administherin' tn affairs iv proud people that cudden't tell hypothenoose firm sea-lion. But whin things gets goin' right undher this administration, tn civil sarvice commission consistin' iv tn Hon. Bill Cody, tn Hon. Texas Jack, an tn Hon. Bat Masterson will put tn boys through an examination thatll bring out all there is in tihm. I'm preparin' a pa-aper fir an examination iv can dydates f'r sup'rintindint iv tn Smith sonyan Institoot:
 '1. Describe a roundup.
 "2. Name five iv tn best brands (a) cattle, (b) whisky, ye have used.
 "3. Afther makin a cinch, is it proper fir to always kick tn critter in tn stomach or on'y whin ye feel like it?
 A. Undher what circumstances shud a Mexican not be shot, and if so, why?
 "5. How long shud a tinderfoot dance before he is entitled to live?
 "6. Name eighty reasons f'r dhrawin' a gun.
 "7. State ye'er opinyion iv sheep men.
 "S Write a brief account iv tn life an death iv Billy tn Kid
 "Iy coorse, Hinnissy, this is on'y a part iv tn exercise. They'll be practi- cal tests as well. Tn Eligible listll be taken out into tn yard an required to shoot at movin' an stationary targets, at pedesthreens an horsemen, Tn tn pocket, firm tn hip, over tn shoul- dher, firm a window with a sawed-off shot gun, an so on. They'll be re- quired to bust a buckin bronc, cut out a steer firm tn herd without ct ir,' h yiy,, ok, jects an give other exhibitions iv have to defind his job again all corners fir month.
 q want to see this day. We're nation iv hayroes an none but hay roes shud enjye tn spells. Thin we'll read that tn Hon. Mike McCorker has been appinted Ambassadure to Eng land: Mike Is wan iv tn mos de- tarmined statesmen between Rapid City an Rawlins. His early life was spint in seclusion, owin' to a little diffrence about a horse, but he had no sooner appeared in public life thin he made his mark on tn marshal iv Red Gulch.. He applied himsilf to his chosen career with such perseverance an SO thrue an aim that within two years he had risen to tn head iv his pro-fission, position that he has since hild without interruption excipt durin' tn peryod whin tn Hon. Grindle H. Cash shelled him fir three days with a howitzer His remarkable night at tack on that gallant but sleepy states man will not soon be f'rgotten. A great ovation will be given Bill whin he pulls his freight f'r tn coort iv St. James. Some iv tn boys is loadin' up fir it already an near all tn Chinese has moved into tn hills. Am bassadure Cash was Rough Ruder durin' tn late Cubian war.
 9Th appintment iv Judge Rufus to be Chief Justice iv tn United States Supreme Coort is hailed with delight be all citizens ,iy New Mexico Judge Flush is tn recognized author ity on gun shot wounds an lynch law in tn Southwest, besides bein' in pri- vate life pretty handy man with knife or gun himsilf. He was wan iv tn, first men up San Joon Hill on tn mim'rable day.
 "'Th' Sicrety iv State was visited yisterdah be Throop B iv tn Rough Riders. includin' tn Sicrety iv tn