New Iberia enterprise. (New Iberia, La.) 1885-1902, 1902-02-01
THE STORY OF TWO BEARS.
Dedicated to the Louisiana colony in the land
sunshine and howers-and p. 80

the
sunshine and fowers-and p. ...l
Once upon a Time two aged Bear
met in the Poor House, and began
to spiel to each other about their
Troubles.
II do not wish to pry into your
Private Affairs" remarked one of
the Bears to the other, "but yon
seem Il most Intelligent Creature,
and | should like to know what
hard luck Combination put you on
the Bum -
"Alas, replied the other Bear,
"you see before You the Victim of
a Swelled Head, and Chesty
Front. | was County Bear, and
by dint of industry, and Economy,
and Doing my Neighbors before
they got a chance to Do me, | sue
ceeded in amassing a comfortable
Fortune.
81 do not wish to Unduly exploit
my own Virtues, but ! will say that
while there were Hayseed in my
Whiskers, there was no Moss in my
Coat, and a slicker Horse Trade
Artist never came down the Pike,
or worked off Spawned Mare on
a City jay for High Stepping Coach
Horse.
"Unfortunately, at last | became
dissatisfied with the Petty Larceny
in which l was engaged, and | be-
gan to Yearn to take part in the
Wholesale Robbery of Wall Street.
1t is a Shame, a burning Shame, |
said, pitching bouquets at myself,
for one of my Financial Sagacity
and Penetrating Judgment to Waste
his Talents Chiseling a Rube out of
Two Bits when he might just as
well be Holding up a Millionaire
aud swiping his Roll, so henceforth
it's me for the Opportunities of a
Great City
"With that | cut the Country and
hied to the Metropolis, and Tackled
the Street single handed, and they
don't do a Thing to me. Before l
knew what had happened they had
sheared me to the Skin, and it was
up to me to take the Icy Plunge in
the River or else seek this Hobo
Retreat"
"Yours is, indeed, a sad, sad,
story" replied the Bear who had
fJisSttSp fJGisStt spoken, nabUtt net all the III GjolG
yet l opine that when it comes to
Divorcing a Creature from his Coin
there is no other Agency equal to a
Farm for doing the Trick with neat.
ness aud Dispatch while you Wait.
~ was Born and Raised in the
City, where for many Years | fol-
lowed the Simple and Innocent Oc-
cupation of a Money Lender and
Note Shaver. Unhappily one day,
in an Evil Hour, | subscribed for
an Agricultural Journal which told
of the Profits to be made in raising
Early Vegetables.
cit also contained Progressive
Mathematical Novel, by an lncuba-
tor Romance, that showed that if
you bought a Hen that Laid 365
eggs the first year, and each Egg
raised Pullet that in Turn Laid
365 more eggs, by the end of the
Third Year you could pay of the
National Debt, and still have Money
to Burn.
.'This sealed my fate. Why
cried, should ! waste my time Toll
ing, cutting off Coupons, and col
lecting Dividends on preferred
stock, while there are Industrious
Hens to lay Golden Eggs for me, and
Vegetables crying to be Plantedi'
$50 l piked out for the country
where the honest and guileless
Rustic unloaded a Patch of Gulleys
and Rocks on me at the Price OF
City Lots, and where | ascertainet
that it costs more to support
Truck Patch than it does to keep ;
Yacht in Commission.
"By dint of Unremitting Labo
and Money l succeeded at last il
raising a Spring Chicken that cos
me So 900, and few Cabbages tha
represented an Outlay of $5O'
apiece, but in the end | could stant
the Drain on my Finances N
Longer. The Seed Men, the Paten
Devices for making a Setting Hel
Set had gone through my clothes
and | had not a Red Left. Henc
these Tears, and my Presence il
this abode of the Impecunious."
at is undoubtedly True" re
marked the Owl, who had bee
listening to the conversation, "ths
a Fool and his Wad are 500
Parted, and the result is the sam
whether it is the City Man VIII
thinks he understands Fancy Farm
ing, or the Hayseed who comes