The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1902-08-31

llfueSs talked enough 10 nave nldue
in print 1000 large volume size of patent
office reports; kissed 126 babies; kindled
ii kitchen fires, cut cords of wood;
474 bundles of fodder; picked ia pounds
CT cotton; helped pull wagon loads of
corn; dug IA bushels of potatoes; toted
q buckets of water; put up stoves; was
dog-bit 4 times, watch broken by baby,
cost So to have repaired.
Loaned out barrels of flour, 80
bushels of meal, $50 pounds of bacon.
81 pounds of butter, ~ dozen eggs, 5
umbrellas, 10 lead pencils. / Bible die
tionary. l mowblade, hoes, over
coat, boxes paper collars, none of which
have been returned.
Called my opponent a perambulating
Iiar-doctor's bill $40. Had five arguments
with nv wife-result: One flower vase
! smashed / broom handle broken, l dish
of hash knocked off the table, shirt
bosom ruined: handfuls whiskers pulled
out, Toe worth of sticking plaster bought.
Besides spending $1,76S.
The Kansas minister Of very poor
congregation accepted the offer of pa
| tent medicine company to provide his
| reople with hymn books, providing the
covers of the books were not covered
| with ads. The books came according to
| agreement and on Sunday, with many
ihinllful remarks, the minister selected
hymn 100 to be sung, and this is what he
heard:
Hank the heavenly angels sing,
Johnson's pills are just the thing;
The angelic voice, meek and mild
Two for men and one for cihld.'
No other aneedote concerning the late
Paul Leicester Ford shows better his in
nate courtesy and self-possession than
the following:
1t was at literary reception in Brook
Ign. A number of lions" of greater or
less magnitude We're there, among them
a clergyman whose somewhat arrogant
manner made him unduly conspicuous.
AS he came forward blinking near
sightedly, to greet his hostess he
noticed short, slight figure standing
at her side
Without looking more closely at this
second person, whom he supposed to be
one of the boys of the neighborhood,
the clergyman slapped him Familiarity
on the shoulder, crying:
well, how are you, my little MANI
Every we'll, thank you" replied the
| other politely amid a general gasp from
| those around them.
Fine lad Who is he?" queried the
/ clergyman, turning to his hostess.
s'It is Mr.. Paul Leicester Ford, the
/ guest of honor this evening"" she. an
swered.
Stories of Mr. Balfour are not numer
Gus, but here is one of them. At din
ner Larty there was talk of the import
! ance in life of self confidence. The
/ Scotch saying was repeated, God gle us
/ a guild conceit of oorsels.' Balfour said,
"And that, sir, is the only prayer the
gods always answer
William r. Wilcox, the president of the
Board of Park Commissioners, made a
/ trip to Brooklyn to inspect the parks this
week. While visiting the Prospect Park
he stepped on a part of the grass from
which human feet are driven by order
and rule. park workman saw him and
promptly ordered him off. Not moving
quickly, in fact paying no attention to
the order, Commissioner Wilcox was
most sharply and, indeed. rather roughly
ordered off second time.
you probably don't know who l am"
said the commissioner.
81 don't care who you are; get off the
grass"
81 am Park Commissioner Wilcox"
said the president of the board.
You're Commissioner Wilcox, are you?
Then you're the man that gets $1,000 a
year for paying me $3.50 a day to order
you off the grass. Get off the grass
The Commissioner got off to tell this
story on himself-Brooklyn Eagle.
A Yorkshire farmer was asked to the
funeral of a neighbours third wife, and,
as he had attended the funeral of the
two others. his own wife was rather sur
prised when he declined this invitation
On being pressed, he gave his reasons
with some hesitation. well, thee sees
lass, it makes aschap feel a bit awkward
like to be allus accepting other folks
civilities, when he never has nowt O. t.
sooart of his own to ak EN- back To-
London Tid-Bts.
When General Sherman was making
his famous march to the sea a South
crn gentleman one morning came to
complain of the depredations of the
Union soldiers.