Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1902-05-06

M WEM dent Claggett
%AM =. ,,sM pre- tding
NS "'aa' - >S over t h
NV 75SasIssM Baldheaded
- Club one e
more last Saturday night.
As heretofore reported, the fac
tional fight that threatened the dis
ruption of the club was brought to
a peaceable end at a recent meet
ing and by general consent Col.
Claggett was elected President in
spirit of compromise.
Now that there was no longer
any danger Of bloodshed, the meet
ing this time again took on
the old air of pleasant social re-
union. President Claggett was ar
rayed in purple and fine linen when
he took the chair at exactly the
hour Of midnight. That is to say,
he had on a linen collar and a pur-
pie necktie. OF course he wore
some other articles of apparel, but
these were the most conspicuous
features of his attire.
Il see, said the President,
"that President Roosevelt has is
sued an order muzzling Gen. Fun.
ston, to keep him from talking his
fool head off, telling how he cap
} tured Aguinaldo and ended the
war in the Philippines. give
Teddy credit for originating a
E clever idea, and I shall adopt il
] myself if find it necessary in run
ming this club. Those of you who
are in the habit of exercising your
vocal organs while this body is in
session, would do well to ponder
seriously on this manifesto number
One.
Col. Ii. W. Tibbs moved that a
committee be appointed to investi-
gate how many if any of the five
candidates for appellatejudge were
bald. Col. Walter Southall said
he knew them all and to the best Of
his knowledge and belief at least
half of the FIVE were third degree
members of the Knights of the
Shining Pate.
The President appointed on the
committee Coils. Walter Kelly, Al.
bert Kelly, Wallace Kelly and M,
! d. Kelly.
Col. Henry Abernathy moved
that the sittings Of the committee
be held at Kelly's Station, but the
motion failed to receive a second.
COL Ed Buchanan, a veteran oi
the Philippine war, was called up.
on to explain the water cure
practiced on the Filipinos by the
American soldiers.
Col. Buchanan readily consented
and began by asking Col. Mat Star.
ling to kindly step forward and be
used as an object lesson. Col,
Startling begged to be excused and
said he would prefer to see some
one else take it.
Col. Buchanan then called for
some one to volunteer his stomach,
but all seemed reluctant to oblige
him. Finally he said that while
water was generally used, ne had
telephoned tor a keg of cool beer to
be used on this occasion. This an.
nouncement brought so many yolun-
teers to the front that several mem
bers narrowly escaped being run
over and seriously hurt. Col. Ed
Gather fell down in the stampede
and broke a ten dollar bill. Col.
Martin Davis stepped on Col. Bill
Cooper's corn and caused him to
break one or more of the ten COM
mandments. Finding it difficult to
make a selection, or even to get the
beer safely through the crowd in
the aisle. the Colonel finally decided
to depict the horrors of the cure in
words only, which he proceeded to
= do. though his talk was not closely
followed by all of his hearers. He
5 told how the nozzle of a syringe was
/ inserted into the mouth of the ma
= tive, who was held fast to prevent
strnegling. and the LIQUID was