davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1902-03-20
FUN EREAL GLOOM
Pervades the Camp of the Faith.
ful This Morning and Pleas
ant Word is at a Big
Premium "a Wet
Blanket.

The democratic primaries went
through yesterday with all the
pomp and circumstance of a we'll
regulated funeral.
There were not many mourners
out, but there was gloom plenty.
By 4 o'clock il had become SO in
tense that Chief Burlington quit
eating Garrison's raw potatoes, and
went out to see a man. lsbell the
Lone Wolfe. struck bis trail and
followed. Likewise did the rest
of the faithful, and they did not
return until they felt some better.
As soon as the votes were count
ed they felt worse. After wrest-
ling with 122 ballots, cast by citi-
zens of Vinita and other places.
the following ticket was announced
as nominated:
Mayor, John Il. Gunter.
Recorder, Walter ii. Martin.
Attorney, S. Il. Parks.
Marshal, II. K. Ridenhour.
Assessor, Marina Daniels.
Collector, III. G. Ballard.
Treasurer. Il. NJ. Burlington.
Street Commissioner. Frank Billings
lea
Aldermen, Edgar Smith, j. w.
Sanders, g. o. Berry, L. II. Isbell. l..
p. Garrison.
Executive Committee, w. .Thomp-
son, sam Frazier, Davis Hill, w. ].
Baber, +. 5. 4. Amos.
This was the slate originally
scheduled. the "exiras" being
used TO give 'voice OF tbs peo-
pie" tone 10 il. The voice was
heard before the Il ST ballot was
cast, so everything went through
very nicely as the people stayed
away, refusing TO be hoodwinked
by such palpable scheme.
The gloom has not been dissi-
pated AZ yet. There IL nothing
joyful abou. "132 votes" in the
town Of VInita.
This morning a pleasant word
was at big premium in the camp
OF The regulars" and no smiles
were quoted. Even the III tell
you how j, happened" post NOR
tenn prophet has lost his voice and
wise look. About the only conso-
lnlion that can be offered is.
"Cheer np-the worse is yet to
come"
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1902-03-20
A Severe Cold for Three nOnths.

The following letter from A. J..
Nushaum, at lBatesville, Ind.. tells
its own story. II suffered FOR three
months with a severe cold. A drug
glst prepared me some medicine, and
physician prescribed Tor me, yet |
did not improve. I then tried Foley's
Honey and Tar. and eight doses cured
me-" Refuse substitutes Peoples
drug store. dw
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1902-03-20

No one knows the unbearable. tort
ure one undergoes from piles unless
they are so afflicted. Tabler's Buck
eye Pile Ointment j. a quick, safe
aud painless cure. Price soc IN bot
ties. Tubes. IS cents, at Peoples drug
store. DIV
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
The New Society Game.

Ping-Pong seems to have gained favor
more rapidly than any other society
game ever known in England 1t has
even obtained a foothold On ocean steam
ers, Notwithstanding the difficulties OF
playing the game well on a rolling ship.
The purser of an Atlantic steamship,
talking about this game the other day,
said: You'll find il occupying a prom
inent place among the amusements ad-
vertised on sailing bills. Ships carry sup
plies of bats and balls. When the wealth
er is at all decent the one recreation is
ping-pong. Every other form of amuse-
ment formerly popular is discarded,
though how long this is likely to last
there is no saying. We run n net down
the whole length of the dining saloon.
n number of couples can therefore play
simultaneously 1t certainly takes even
proficient players some time to get ac-
customed to- the motion when the ship is
rolling. but after a little practice they
are able TO place the balls almost as ac-
curately as on a fixed table. Practice
goes on all day, when the table is not in
use for meals Each evening a sweep
stake tournament is arranged, when the
excitement is intense. 1t is by a long
way the best all round amusement we've
ever had on a voyage, for all the pas
sengers, young and old. can participate
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
sorry BE Said It.

The story is just now current among
the alumni of Yale in Chicago but its
truthfulness is by no means vouched
for, says the Tribune. At any rate, it
has occasioned good many laughs at
the expense of the scholarly president
of Yale University.
One pleasant day last fell, SO the
story goes, President Hadley was
strolling through the beautiful campus
of Dartmouth college with his wife on
his arm. They were admiring the
beautiful buildings which dot the cam
pus, several of them having been erect
ed by wealthy alumni. Presently they
came to an especially noble hall. built
of stone and occupying a commanding
site. Over the main entrance was a
marble tablet, which announced that
the hall had been erected by John c.
Blank, as a Memorial of His Beloved
Wife"
President Hadley stood and looked at
the noble pile for a moment. Then he
heaved a sigh that was almost envious
All" he said, that is what / should
like to do for my college,
And to this day, the boys declare.
President Hadley cannot understand
why his wife should have looked 50
Mortified.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
Four Thousand Godfa,hers.

Princess Irene, the wife of Prince Hen
~ of Prussia, enjoys the unique distinc-
ton Of having about four thousand god
fathers. Born in course of the war of
1866, her father, Prince Louis of Hesse
requested the officers and men of the
Hessian regiments forming part of the
cavalry brigade under his command, to
stand sponsors to his baby girl, and at
the christening, which took place after
termination of the hostilities, populations
of officers, non-commissionedo officers, and
men from each regiment were present in
order to express in the name of their
respective corps the readiness of the lat
ter to assume the customary spiritual,
moral and material obligations toward
their godchild. The name of Irene, which
means peace" was given to the little
princess, whose christening conceded
with the end of the war. 1t was on this
account that Princess Irene. throughout
her girlhood, was known as the Erie
denskind,' or Child of Peace
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
JONAH AND THE WHALE.

The London Lancet the other day re-
printed a criticism of medical lecture
given in 1923 upon the power of the d.
gestive organs upon substances en-
dued with vitality category which
includes the prophet Jonah. How the
prophet passed his time in the cavity
of the whales stomach, how far the
confinement affected his organs of res
piration, are questions of minor impor-
lance" we are told, but the main argu-
ment may be thus stated. When Jo-
nah entered the whales stomach, either
he was alive or was not alive. If he
was not alive, the stomach would have
had the same power over him as over
any other inanimate substance, and the
prophet would have been digested in
the ordinary way" But since he was
not digested he was alive when swal-
lowed, and, as the argument points
out, must have continued to live"
Consequently when he was thrown up
on the fourth day he was deposited on
the dry land, probably without any
other inconvenience than some. trifipsf
arrangement of his canonicals.'
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
When Trade Was Booming.

1t was in the morning hours of bake
day in the little out-of-the-way village
The mingled odors of fresh bread, pies
and cookies fioated out of the open kitch-
en- windows
From one of the smaller cottages at
the end of the street came a barefooted
child in colorless calico dress and Stat
sunbonnet- With the important air of a
heavy buyer she entered the village store
and handed across the counter a blue
teacup- The proprietor took the cup and
said in brisk tones:
We'll, Emmy, what does your ma want
today2''
Please, sir. ma wants an eggs worth
OF molasses. and she carefully placed a
large white egg on the counter
From stone jug a little molasses was
poured and the cup set before the Gus
toner.
Mr.. Sniff" she said as she took her
purchase, TN be back in a little while
for some ginger. Ma said TO tell you the
black hen was on
And the buyer walked with dignity out
the store door and up the village street
to her home.-Harper's Magazine.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
Toot's From Rams Horn.

Calmness is the mark of true cour-
age.
Goodness is true and eternal great
ness.
The only dumb religion is dead one.
conspiracy of silence is usually one
of sin.
Truth is not made false because we
doubt her.
Only those whom the cap fits will
critici.e it's cut.
Daily drudgery may be the door to az
vine delights.
Dark days make a good background
for bright lives.
You cannot make a live church out
of dead people.
The devouring flame of sin is at first
only welcome warmth.
Many take their business into the
house of God who are afraid to take
Him into their houses of business.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
Salt Causes Cancer.

DR.. James Braithwait, of London, adj
vances the theory that excess of salt is
one of the four factors which cause can
Ger. 1t is, essential, but is imperative
without one or two others. Excess of
salt may arise from too much meat He
considers that other factors are over
nourishment, an impure condition of
body resulting, owing to the non-use and
non-oxidation of food. Some local irri-
tant or stimulant, such friction from
the stem of a pipe or irritant from some
micro-organism must always be present.
Cancer is seldom seen among JeweSses,
possibly from the difference OF diet.
Savages, so far as is known, are exempt
from cancer. and they get no salt All
the domestic animals, except the pig, are
subject to cancer, and salt is given 10
pigs.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22

Commenting on the approaching visit
Of the Kaiser's brother Prince Henry,
to America, F. Peter DUNES Mr..
Dooley" says:
| I tell We, Hinnissy, this Impror or
Kaiser iv Germany is a smart man.
used to think twas not so. 1 thought
/ ne had things unaisy in his wheel
house. l mind whin he got tn 1op,
! iyry wan SAYS: Look out fr war
This wild man will be in that office Tor
about a year whin he'll just about de-
clare fight with tn wurruld." An
Everybody framed up FIR him. But look
We what happened. 'Tis twinty year
since he was swore in, an ne'er a fight
has he had. Everybody else has been in
throuble. A screwmaker iv sidlntory
life has ploonged England into war,
me frinds tn Greeks, that were consid-
hered about akel to flush iv anger
over a raid on a push cart, has mixed
ii up with tn Turks, tn Japs has been
at war, and tn DagoeS, an our own
peace-lovin' nation has been runnin
wan short an wan seeryal war, an
aven tn Chinese has got their dandher
up be hivenS, but Willum, tn Middle
weight Champeen, Willum, tn Potsdam
Game Chicken, Willum, tn Unterden-
linden Cyclone, Willum has been ladin'
tn cal an prosperous life iy deli
catessen dealer undher a turner hall.
He had no fights. He niver will have
amy fights. He's not a fighter, but
fight lover. Did we liver see wan iv
thin young men that always has a
front seat at a scrap SO near tn ring
that whin tn second blows tn wather
he gets what's left on his shirt front?
Well, that's me friend Willum. He is
pathron iv sport, an not sport.
His ideel is war, but he's a practical
man. If he sees two nations
beIlcwin' at each other tn assurances
iv their distinguished consideration,
he says: Boys, get together. 'Tis
good match. You're both afraid. Go
in uncle; go in, Boer." He is all around
tn ringside, encouragin' both sides. |
Stand up again him there, Paul; ras-
sic him to tn f1ure. Good f'r We. uncle. |
A trif1le low, that wan, but alrs fair !
IN war. Defind ye'er indipindance, no
bic sons iv Teutonic blood. Exercise
"A
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
a Pupil of Sousa.

One morning after the hand-organs got
hold OF his Washington Post March,"
John Philip Sousa ran across an Irish
man playing the march at q dirge-like
pace, which set his teeth on edge
Snatching the handle of the organ away
from him. Sousa exclaimed. angriIy: My
heavens, mani Why don't you play Ii
with a little energy? There's nobody
dead on this block" The freshman stood
by, open-eyed with wonder as Souss
dashed through the measures of the
march at a rafting pace. And who are
You, anyhow he exclaimed at length.
Il am Mr. Sousa,'' explained the band
master: Il composed that march. Don't
mind my giving you a friendly pointer
The lrishman retired with his features
wreathed in smiles. Next morning an
enormous placard appeared about his
neck II was printed in red ink. and ran
as foiiows: "A pupil of Sousa.''
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
DOOLEY AND THE PRINCE
How Henry's Visit Strikes the Archey
Road Philosopher.


ye'er sovereign rights. me English
frinds." If wan or tn other begins 10
weaken. tn first bottle through tn.
ropes is Willum's. If amy wan sug-
gests a dhraw, he demands his money
back. Nawthin' but a fight to a finish
will do him. He's got tn Car
iv Rooshay hypnotized, tn King iy
England Rugged to a standstill, an tn
Ir1pror iv China in tears. An he's made
thin all think tn first thing amy wan
knows, he'll haul off an swing on wan
Nv tn others.
So. havin' fixed ivrything up in Eu-
rome he east his eyes on this country.
an saws he: Il think I'll have to dag
zIe thin furriners somewhat They've
got a round-headed man fr Prisidint.
that was born with spurs on his feet.
an had cartridge belt FIR rattle, am
some day his goolash won't agree with
him an he'll call tn bluff I've been
maxim these many years. Whatll |
do to make thin me frinds, so that
'twud be like sittin' fire to their own
house to attack me? Be hivens. I've
got it, They're a dimmycratic people.
I'll sind thin a prince. They can't
keep him out, an whin he lands. tn
German population III come out an get
up shootzenfiests FIR him. an me fellow
Impror acrost tn say'll see how NANNY
iy thin there ar-re, an he'll think twct
wanst a German, always a German. be
it liver so far" he says. "I'll sind thin
Hinnery. Hinnery! Turn in tn alarm
FIR Hinnery," he says. Hinnery slides
down tn pole. an the Impror says:
Brother, catch tn night boat fr
America, an pay visit to WHATEVER
king they have there. Take along amy
wan We like an as many TRUNKS as ye
need an stay as long as We PLACE.
Don't ring. Back tn dhray again tn
front dure, an hurl ye'erself into tn
first bedroom we see. Act just as IL We
was me-" he says. But I'm not in
gited," says Rinnery. Write ye'er own
says Willum. SO
1ere comes Hinnery, an were goin' to
give him a gloryous rayciption.
rh aristocracy iv New York is prac-
icin' Dutch, an tn Waldorf-Astorya
will be fistooned with dachshunds. He'll
see more Germans an more German
Germans thin he iver seen in Prooshay.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
PRESIDENT AND CALLERS.

a New England Senator. who was
;anxious to have a friend appointed to
an important postoffice position in his
district thus describes his interview
with President Roosevelt, whose breezy
frankness continues to interest his Wis
itors: -
| Il was ushered into the Presidents
reception room. Many other people
were there; we could hear the Presi-
dent talking with some one in the Cab
! met room, and, while it would have
been impossible to follow the converse
ton. the tones were strong enough to
indicate a vigorous discussion. Pretty
soon the door from the Cabinet room
opened, and in came the President.
II am not going to see any of these
people except Senator Bard-not any
of them-I am too busy; 1 can not do
it,, said the President to Secretary Cor
telyou with considerable emphasis
Suiting the action to the word, he took
Senator Bard over into the window and
had a considerable talk with him.
Mr. Cortelyou beckoned for me to
stay, and the President, as soon as he
was through with Mr.. Bard, came over
and sat on the sofa beside me. When
mentioned my postoffice case he told
me to go down to the department and
fix the matter up with the Postmaster
ISHeIdI, Will the dir VI one WHO w DIS
tired about hearing of postoffices.
LAS L got up he looked over to two
young men who were still waiting.
You are from Alabama, aren't you?'
he asked, and before they had time to
answer, he added: You want So-and-
So appointed?' The young men replied
that they did, but before they could
explain why. the President told them
that he was sick of hearing of their
patronage squabble. You say the 9TH
er candidate for this office ought to be
i'm jail, don't your he went on.
90 Yes, sir; he ought to be there was
the reply
We'll, now said the President, his |
friends assure me that your man ought |
to be in Jail. / assume that you are |
both right. 1 wish you to go to the At |
-orney General and put in writing the |
'eaSons you have for believing that the |
other candidate should be sent to the |
and I will have a similar
statement made up in regard to your
then We'll let the Attorney
General look them both over and de-
'ide what is to be done. Perhaps, if
-ou know anything good about the man
'ou are backing, you had better put
hat in writing. too, and give it to the
Attorney General
THAT was all I stayed to hear, but
struck me as characteristics.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
DOCTORS OFFICE LITERATURE.

Have you seen that quaint collection Of
the things Of other days.
Winch in any Doctors Office meets the
weary patients gaze;
Which consists of battered numbers oi
three-year-oId-maga gaines,
And some illustrated papers full OF long
past battle scenes2
Have you seen those hOary relics OF .hc
antiquated past
Which with trophies and "mementos''
could be very fifty classed?
If you haven't make journey up to that
abode of gloom
Which is known TO fame and patients as
the doctors waiting-roorl.
There they lie. upon the table, and you
look them Ger and Ger,
Searching vainly for some story that you
haven't read before.
For the chairs are full of people, and
you've simply time to burn,
Ere a welcome voice announces that at
last has come your turn.
There's a Puck of last years vintage
and a Life of '9s,
And Munsey and Scribner's of a yet
more antique date.
And a Harper illustrating Admiral Mon
tojo's DOOM
All are in that weird collection in the
Doctors waiting room.
Through the pile you your fingers,
for you've nothing else to do.
And at last down near the bottom you
discover something newt
Eagerly you pounce upon Ii, till disgust
edly you see
That it's some prosaic treatise on applied
pathology
And If chance some other new one shall
reward your wild pursuit,
You'll discover it's record of the Bill
ious Institute"
You can dig there for an hour, but what
ever you exhume
Will be just the same old rubbish in the
Doctors waiting room.
In barber shop symposium of literature
you'll get
AT least a this months Standard or a |
late Police Gazette;
And. although you'll find their contents |
are perhaps a little bold
They will have the signal merit OF not |
being ten years old.
In a bootblack stand the moments you'll |
be helped to while away
With an illustrated paper of the mint OF |
yesterday.
But like faint and shadowy faces frsm J.
the past's unyielding tomb,
Are the newest publications in the doc L
tors waiting room.
Where they got them, what collector OF
remote antiquities
Piled upon those shaky tables such fam
tastic shades these,
Is a question never answered for the doc
tors do not know
How. they gathered those remembrances
of days of long ago.
But IL seems to be quite certain that |
they'd stock few small shelves
With recent works, If they were forced |
to read those things themselves.
But they're not, and so their patients 1
must their weary minds illume
With the faded. frazzled fiction in the
doctors waiting room-Oregonian IL
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
a Wife Of Tact.

While enjoying a good book in the
parlor one afternoon, the Rev. Clinton
Locke, who was for nearly half a century
rector of Grace Episcopal Church. in
Chicago. noticed a woman coming up the
front steps whom he particularly detest-
ed. The doctor fed precipitately. leaving
his wife to meet the caller After a half
hour had passed, DR.. Locke came out of
his study and listened at the head of the
stairs. Hearing nothing below. he called
down to his wife: Has that horrible Old
bore gone yet?" The caller was still
there. Mrs. Locke was equal to the
emergency. however. and she called
back: Yes, dear she went nearly an
hour ago. Mrs. A is here now"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
The Fail of Love.

Love armored goes from head to toe.
| saw Times lance one day
Strike at his heart TO lay him low
Love smiled and went his way
/ saw him when he stood and laughed
At wise mems subtlety
What time against them broke the shaft
OF keen philosophy
The little darts of Doubt and Pain
Blunted against his breast:
Neglects dull blade fell all in vain,
More useless than the rest
In turn his foemen bit the dust.
Till-one day came a fool
And killed him with little thrust
OF witless ridicule
-Theodosia Garrison in Life.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
Triumph Of Forgotten Things

There is a pity in forgotten things.
Banished the heart they can no longer
fill,
Since restless Fancy, spreading swallow
wings,
Must seek new pleasure still
There is a patience. too. in things forgot,
They wait-they find the portal long
unused
And knocking there, it shall refuse them
not
Nor aught shall be refused!
years,
In alien pledges spend the hearts es-
tate,
They bide some blessed moment of quick
tears
Some moment without date.
EDITH NJ. THOMAS.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
Queen and Cow.

Among the unconsciously grotesque
tributes paid to the late Queen Victoria
at the time OF her death by the Indian
press, was this unique expression from
a Hindoo scribe: Her majesty loved her
subjects with the strong, maternal affec-
ton which Il COW feels for her offspring"
The simile would only be pleasing to the
Englishman who remembered the honor
able position of the COW and calf in the
Hindoo religion.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1902-02-22
Sensitive.

Bramble-We've just lost our cook.
Shed been with us thirty years, too.
Thorne-Did she die of old age?
Bramble-No, but she heard nv wife
refer to her as an old family servant.
and it made her mad.