davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
ON ATTACKING the ARMY.

"IVE DENoUNcE the unpatriotie
w and unjustinable assaults OF the
Democratic party on the officers, sol
diers and sailors OF the army and navy
OF the republic" says the platform
adopted by the Republicans Of Utah at
their ogden convention.
Evidently II IS Intended by this TO
convey the impression that all the Of
ficers. all the soldiers. all tie sailors In
our army and navy. have been attacked
by the Democratic party. OF course,
II isn't true. The man who looks for
truth Ia a Republican platform Is likely
20 lose his eyesight before he finds H.
But. taking the other side OF the ques-
ton. Does the Republican party in
Utah approve and endorse every action
OF the army In the Philippines?
Does the Republican party in Utah
endorse General Jacob r. Smiths kill
and burn" order9 Does IL endorse the
crueitios practiced on prisoners by Cap
tain Ryan. as proven az the Ryan
c0uflmaftial? Does II endorse and ap-
piaud Major Edwin d. Glenn, who In
flcted the water cure on numerous ma
tivesg Does II approve the work OF
Major O'Conncll and Lieutenant Sin
clair and Major Waller and Lieuten-
ants Cook. Brown. Arnold, Bennett and
others?
These men and such az these are the
only officers and soldiers who have been
attacked by the Democrats OF the coun-
try They have been attacked be-
cause the Democrats believe and they
are brave enough 70 say they believe.
that "A murderer IS a murderer. a flend
q fend. a thief a thief and scoundrei
a sceundrei, no matter what kind Of
clothing he may wear. The fact that
a man wears an army uniform does
not make him infanible. Neither does
II exempt him from just and proper
criticism Tor misdeeds.
II has been said that the situation IN
the Philippines has been mlsrepresent-
I'd By the Democrats Ia congress and
elsewhere. Read what Major Corne-
Illus Gardner. then civil governor OF
Tayabas. said IN an official report sub
mitted IN December. 1901. Major Gard
ner wrote;
"Of late. by reason OF the conduct Of
the troops, such as the extensive burn
ing OF barrios in trying To lay waste
the country so that the insurgents can
not occupy IL. the torturlng OF natives
by the so-oalied water cure and other
methods In order 10 obtain informa-
ton. the harsh treatment OF natives
generally, this favorable sentl-
ment (Which once existed toward Amer
leans generality is being fast de-
stroyed"
And. by the way. just for the sake
Of symmetry. who attacked Admiral
Winfield Scott Schiey, the hero OF San
.lago? Was IL not a Republican cahal
al Washington And was IL not con-
ciusively proven in the court of public
opinion that the sole and only reason
schley was attacked was because he
was Democrat
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
THE TRIHuEEs DISCOVERY.


T HE HERALD eonsratuiates the
L Tribune on its discovery that salt
Lake IS in the midst OF a carnival OF
crime. II has taken eight or ten
months for the news to penetrate the
ouiet OF West Temple street, but 1t
Is good 70 know that the awakening
has come. Everybody else has been
aware OF the fearful laxsess OF law adj
mlnistrauon for a long time, but the
suburban contemporary has secuted
the notion. Yesterday the Tribune
printed a symposium OF opinions from
prominent citizens. all OF whom knew
the laws were not being enforced ana
all OF whom made suggestions as 10
the possibilities OF securing adequate
protection for their lives and property.
Chief OF Police Paul was one Of those
approached. and the chief offered at
least one idea that for unique idiocy is
entitled 70 a large leather mccall I'VE
should have a city regulation making
il punishable for any criminal, pre-
vlously sentenced from this city. TO
return here" the chief is quoted as
saying. "A city situated Ike ours
cannot be governed like some munic-
qualities where such men are con-
eerned. II men from the penitentiary
wish 10 begin life over again under
honest auspices, let them start in some
other place. They should not be al
lowed TO come here"
Chief Paul did not explain 10 the
Tribune. and The Herald now asks
him to explain. If he can, in what way
salt Lake City cannot be governed
with regard TO ex-convicts. as other
cities are governed. Is II because the
police force here is unable to handle
The criminal population? Is II because
Chief Paul believes that the tempta-
lions TO crime and the easy gains and
few risks therefrOm are so alluring In
salt Lake City that ex-convicts cannot
lead honest lives here?
Why hasn't an ex-convict as much
right 10 live in Salt Lake, so long as
he lives decentiy. as Chief Paul2 He
has paid the penalty for his crime.
That penalty did not include Danish
ment. and the city has as much right
20 pass legislation to that effect as IT
has to establish a government mint.
The trouble with the chief Of police is
that he doesn't know exactly where he
is at" TO use a homely expression.
This innocent old gentleman, who did
not know Salt Lake saloons were open
on Sunday until a man was murder
ousiy assaulted in one OF them, is at
the end OF his scsnty resources.
II isn't the ex-eonvicts who are
making all the trouble. Ex-conYicts
are comparatively easy TO keep track
Of. They are not likely. as rule, TO
resume their criminal operations un-
der the very noses Of officers who
know them and their work. The reign
OF 1awlessness that the Tribune has so
recently discovered has not been in
augurated by Utah ex-convicts. al
though The Herald is willing To admit
that they ought to be. There is a
band Of criminals at work here, but
its members are too clever for the
chief. That's the real root Of the
trouble.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
ociety



A number OF the friends Of Mr.. and
Mrs. A. G.. Andrews were entertained
at an Informal musicale at their home
last evening. and listened to one Of the
finest OF musical programmes. The
AFFAIR was IN honor OF Mr. Joseph Ma
son Howard OF Denver, whose harp Sc
iections were the gems OF the evening.
Mr. Shelton gave some very beautiful
numbers, and vocal solos by Miss Con-
oway Of York and Miss Binford Of Lin
coin, Neb.. were enjoyed. Mrs John
Reed delighted the guests with some
humorous readings.
9 g 9
The party given In honor of Mr.. and
Mrs. Eugene Kahn last evening at the
Ladies' Literary club was most enjoy
able in every way. The committee
had spared no pains to make their
guests al home, and cards, dancing and
conversation filed the evening. Punch
was served during the dancing. and
later delicious supper.
9 g 9
Mrs. Holman gave an informal morn
ing whist party yesterday, ar which
about twenty of her friends were en-
tertained.
A very pleasant reception and house
last evening. when the patrons and
friends OF that popular school were en-
tertained by the faculty. The new
hall was filled during the evening with
visitors.
Colonel and Mrs. Bubb and the Misses
Bubb received their friends at an in
formal at home yesterday afternoon.
y .. d.
Mrs. Joseph A. Johnson entertained
at very pleasant luncheon yesterday,
followed by an informal afternoon at
sixty-three. About twenty ladies were
present.
o o q
Miss Dern gave a delightfully."- in
formal Kensington yesterday afternoon
in honor OF Miss Lena Preston.
g q 9
Mrs. George A. Lowe and Miss Kath-
crime Lowe gave a very enjoyable Ken
sington yesterday afternoon IN honor OF
their guest. Miss Lowe OF Dewitt. Ia.
The current events and current liter
allure section of the Ladies' Literary
club viii hold the first msAting of the
year this afternoon at the club house.
Colonel Page viii give a talk on Cuba
and Mrs. Dart viii review Edith Whar-
toms valley OF Decision"
Miss Florence Dow entertains at a
garden party TO about thirty of her
young friends this afternoon.
81 g g
Miss Florence Terhune viii reach
home this morning from San Francis
co. where she arrived from Manila on
the 18th of the month.
- g %
Mrs Ezra Thompson will entertain
at large and elaborate luncheon to-
day, in honor of her friend, Mrs. Dean
of Colorado.
Miss Leta Mcmillan viii give a lunch
con today In honor OF Miss Lena Pres
ton.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry S. Knight VIII
entertain at dinner this evening in
honor OF Miss Preston and Mr.. Diehl.
. q o
Mr.. Bordman OF San Francisco. who
has been visiting Captain VIM dur
ing the past week. left yesterday for
his home.
Mrs. Jack Afford and Miss Jean Al
ford will leave this morning for a
weeks visit with friends in Provo.
The Misses Guitar, who have been
spending the past few weeks in the
city as the guests of Miss Leonard,
win leave Sunday for their home.
9 g 8
Mrs. Holmes. the Misses Holmes and
Miss Sharp win be at home from $3.50
until today,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

An Ogden man has resigned his posi-
ton rather than move to Salt Lake, as
his superiors directed him to do. To
an unprejudiced spectator his action
certainly constitutes a prima faeie
case OF insanity.
u comes with poor grace from a
newspaper that has been unequivocally
on both sides OF every important pub
lie question during the last ten years.
as The Herald's suburban contemporary
has, 10 criticise former Senator Frank
]. Cannon for remaining steadfast 10
the principles he espoused when he
walked out OF the ST, Louis convention
in 1895. II there is such a thing as
consistency, Senator Cannon has been
consistent. II there is such a thing
as inconsistency It Is found every morn
ing on the editorial page Of The Her
aids suburban contemporary.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
a SIGNIFICANT DEcLlNArloH.

T HERE Is CONSIDERABLE sig
nincance In the deelination Of
Speaker Henderson 20 accept another
nomination for congress because he Is
out OF harmony with a large proper
ton OF his party on the trust question.
The speaker very frankly says that a
strong sentiment In favor OF regulat-
ing the trusts By means OF the tariff
has become apparent In his district. He
does not believe this Is the proper
method OF abatiHg The nuisance. There
fore ne cannot accept a nomination
which Is generally understood TO be
equivalent TO an election.
The position which Speaker Hender-
son has found himself obliged 70 take
Is an indication OF the growth in pop
ular favor OF the Democratic idea 20
abolish the tariff on trust made goods.
Although MIR. Henderson does not say
30 specifically, he is doubtless one OF
the Republicans who favor a eonsu-
tutlonai amendment 20 give congress
The power. which Il already has. TO
deaf properly with the trust question,
The speaker. IN telegram to a couple
Of his constituents. confesses an alb
hoFrence OF the trust evil.
hut ne is not willing to accept a
rational method or doing away with
g. The trouble with Afr. Henderson is
that he doesn't despise the trusts
nearly 50 much as ae would have US
believe. II he did. he would not be
50 exceedingly "tOuchy" on the sub
Jet. Still. ne Is 20 be commended.
perhaps. Tor hts strength In deciining
20 serve a constituency which opposes
him on a question vital 10 the inter-
ests Of the American people. II Is ap-
parent. too. that With Speaker Hen
derson out Of congress the trusts Will
have lost another good friend.
Now let the Republicans in the Hen
dcrson district set together and en-
oorse the nomination OF former Gov
ernOr Horace f BOlcS By the Demo
Gratis. There Is man who win truly
represent their views on the matter OF
trusts. Governor Boies, IN common
With great majority OF the Demo-
Gratis, favors the free admission 20 this
country % all articles that viii come
into competition with trust-made
goods. That is what the Iowa Re
puhiicans seem to want. but they win
never set Il as long as they continue
70 elect Republican congressman and
senators.
The constitutional amendment notion
has been proven a hollow sham ami
nockery- Even the New York sun. one
Of Tie most Influential % All the Re
publican spapers and 4 valued ally
O. the trusts. has poiated cut that IN
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
RESIGNATION.
Csan Francisco Bulletin

lSan Francisco BuIetln-l
Should man reDine? Earth must OF
smiles and tears
Bear equal part. The bliss that we have
Must wear the mourning OF some cares
and fears:
The joyous laugh be mingled with a
eroan-
Should earth be scorned? The tear OF
sorroW melts
The heart OF stone. The burden we
must bear
Along the way. for earth were heaven
else.
And iov shines best uDon the cloud OF
care.
Should We be sad7 Not 50. for out OF
death
Springs life again, Wars gloomy CO.
horrs bring
The whits-winged peace. and in the win
ter's breath
Is born again the blossom scented
spring.
Look I'D. sad heart Life. hand in hand
with death
With smiles and tears goes forth upon
the road
Whose end is marked BY one short. GASP
ing breath
A sikh OF peace. dropping OF the loadl
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

which had just been received. He
bumped into something and. without
looking up. raised his hat and said; i
humbly beg your qardon."
There was no response, and he raised
his eyes 10 see the campus cow.
The next day. another pamphlet
even more preoccupying-a second coll
lision.
Get out OF the way. you darned old
cow" he shouted.
Sir" rang the echo in shocked So
prano.
The professor gazed into the angry
eyes of the wife OF a colleague and fac
ulty enemy.
Another professor, a bridegroom OF
twenty-four hours. left his wife,
strolled around TO his new mOther-in-
laws house and asked her If her daugh-
ter was al home This came from
force OF habit: he had been calling there
daily for some time. and II probably
occurred to him that he had not paid
his usual visit.
An editor on a daily paper has laid
himself open 10 unkind remarks by try
ing 10 take up a collection in his Office
Happening to want a small coin. hi
turned 10 a fellow worker and asked
for a quarter.
Haven't got it. but here's a dollar,
the man replied. as he tossed IL over
The editor put the dollar In his pocket
and Immediately turned to a specia
writer at the next desk and said:
Miss -, could you lend me a quar-
teri Then, seeing the man from
whom he had got the dollar grin, h.
added. hastily. ''Oh. never mind; I Jus
got dollar from Brown"
In Analysing his conduct. he said thai
Browns reply that he did not have {
quarter was apparently the only par
or the transaction that made any i'm.
preston upon him. But he Is under
suspicion In that office, and viii proba.
bly, never be able 10 live IL down
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
MEMORIES OF HARRY KERNELL
Some Good Stories Which had Their
Origin in Him.
CNew York SUM


A group OF vaudeville actors were re-
Gently recalling the days when the side
walk conVersauonaiist was one of the
principal acts in that style of entertain
ment, and one of the most successful as
We'll. They all agreed that Harry Ker-
nell. the Irish comedian. was a leader
among the story tellers Of the old days,
and between them recalled nearly all the
stories which he reeled off for years and
many OF which are still heard.
Kernt would walk rapidly TO the front
of the stage and, addressing the leader OF
the orchestra, begin after this fashion:
Say Mr.. Leader. didn't that man play
the bass drum last summer on Long Is
landZ He did, ! know, and lived on the
sound. saw him Ia H0b0ken last night,
where he stole q duck He put II under
his coat; the duck went Quack, quack. He
says, Tn damned IL you walk: III carry
YOU
He was going up the street with Mike.
He saw a sign with silt letters near the
roof; IL said i. o. o. FL. o. o. F. His
friend said: Nike, what does that mean?'
lie says; 1 suppose it's the height OF
the building-l00 feet.
Mccarthy went up to the roof the
other morning TO saw wood. and the wind
was so strong il blew the teeth out of the
saw. He had put on his pants the wrong
way, and when the wind blew him off the
roof he fell fifteen feet and hit on the
broad OF his back.
"A number of persons were attracted
by the accident. One young lady said.
The poor man is dead McGuiness took
look at the trousers and replied: No,
ma am. he is not dead. but he has got q
d. bad twist
Two Irishmen. new arrivals, were at
the Battery viewing the sights. At Z
O'Clock. when the sun went down, a re-
port from a cannon on Governors island
was heard.
Pat says TO Mike. What's thatg
Pat says, IT'S SHUTDOWN
Mike says, I heard il go down In Ire
land. but IL never made a noise like
that
He was out riding last week in a
buggy with a young lady from Yonkers
or Railway, when man came along on a
bicycle. He got scared and after driving
up the street, he pulled out his whip. hit
the horse, but the object went by him.
He turned the corner and saw a man
grinding knives on one OF those machines
with the big wheels. He hit his horse
again and said: Git up. you son of a
gun; don't let that one pass as
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

der the most favorable circumstances.
Il law based on constitutional
amendment cannot possibly take ef-
feet until 1907 or 1905 II by that time
the trusts are not powerful enough 10
prevent any sort OF adverse legisia-
ton il VIII be because a Democratic
administration has interviewed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

In neglecting his Office as county
commissioner In order TO act as chair
man OF the Republican state commit
tee. u IS certain that. whether he be-
neves II or not. Mr.. Anderson leaves
his county for his countys good.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
ABsENT-MINDED PEOPLE.
They Afford the World a Great Deal
OF Amusement.
DenVer TimeED

(DenNer I1meS-)
A peculiar trait OF humanity is what
is called observation-disclosures. A person
who is born absent-minded. whether ne
is clever or stupid, remains so 10 the
end of his life, which is strewn with
annoyances resulting from this very
incOnVenient quality. BY Jove, l
have forgotten my watch" exclaimed
a man to his companions as a party OF
young people were about 10 take the
train from - beach. Il must have
left il under my pillow at the hotel.
/ win lust have time 10 go back and
get it, he continued, pulling out his
watch from his pocket. Yes. ] can
do it," he exclaimed. making a rapid
calculation. And he set of at run
for the nearby hotel, where they had
been stopping. AT first most seemed
20 see that the whole thing was not
perfectly natural, but a great laugh
went up when they ali suddenly real
lied that the absent minded youth had
timed himself with the very watch he
went for.
A Cambridge professor, whose fts OF
mental alteration were as frequent as
they were amusing. was one day out
in a heavy rain, with his umbrella held
high over his head. when he met a
friend who stopped him and exclaimed.
Dear me, Professor NJ. why don't
you put up your umbrella? You'll be
drenched7"
Put up my umbrella" said the pro-
fessor. 1T is up"
For half an hour. more or less. the
professor had been walking the streets
with a closed umbrella held above his
head
At another time the same scholar was
riding downtown in an electric car. and
lost himself in a book he was reading
Suddenly he noticed symptoms Of mer-
riment among the other passengers.
What could they be laughing att
The mystery was explained when he
discovered that. having been annoyed
by something between the plate Of his
artificial teeth and the roof Of his
mouth. he had removed the teeth and
was holding them up TO view between
the thumb and finger OF his hand.
. g
In Ithaca. the seat OF Cornell unfver-
sity. the memory of d certain member
Of the faculty is kept green from year
70 year by this story Of his habit of in
tense preoeeupation and what came OF
Il.
One day he was walking over a beau
tiful campus path deeply absorbed in a
pamphlet on a mathematical subject
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

Another messenger boy has flown.
He wouldn't have been in such a hur-
~ II he hadn't had in his possession a
roll OF bank notes belonging 20 some
body else. But his flight shows that
they do hurry sometimes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

II an bank robbers will initiate the
example OF the Skagway man who blew
OF his own head with a bomb while
trying 20 brighten a cashier. il should
be easy 90 arrange a distribution OF
free bombs for these enterprising gen.
tlemen.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
Changed view.

t(4LCl[Q ISL
Hes dreadfullv disagreeahie ana boor-
s-h~
Tut. tut. nv dear. he used TO be. but
be Is no longer
How Is that
WHY. since he has become famous We
have decided 10 consider him ONLY de-
lghtfully eccentric and original"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
AmusemeHtS.


AS a rule. the real negro as a stage
comedian is a bore. The exceptions 10
this rule may be counted on the fingers.
Never mind saving any of said fingers
for the aggregation which played the
Grand last night. While the major
portion of the audience went away sat
isfied that il had received its moneys
worth, IL was not the sort of minstrel
show that the Grand usually has. II
cannot touch Hi Henry's or Haverly's.
A negro cannot, as a rule. be intention
ally funny. That's the seCTet-rather,
the explanation. There were redeem
ing features. The chorus in the first
part is harmonious and some of the
songs are amusing. There is a clever
hoop roller with the show, the acrobats
are interesting and the musical team
could be far worse, in which respect IL
differs from the monoiogue. The house
was packed last night and doubtless
the bill will finish the week 10 good
business. The usual matinee will be
given tomorrow.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

J. Pierpont Morgan has purchased
nine more Atlantic steamships, We
shall refuse 20 worry. however. until
he begins an assault on our lake ship
ping.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

II IS 70 be devoutiy hoped that the
Republican candidate for governor OF
Massachusetts, win be after you. my
dear CASTOR" when the polls close in
November
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

Smoke Is issuing from a mountain in
Ohio and the inhabitants are alarmed
thereat They needn't be afraid. IL
Is simply an evidence that the cam
paign is warming up.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

Those Chinese Boxers have broken
out again. Arter all. China seems to
be about the only country where the
game" is protected these days.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

That's a great council we have. The
saloon license Of Tweedledum is re-
voked but very promptly another IL
cense is granted to Tweedledee.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

Inquirer: Yes. Chief Devine's favorite
quotation is. a prophet is not with
out honor. save in his own country
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
HumOring his Customers

Professor Van Note-You haf vine
collection off classic music here.
Music DealeV-That's for Young ladies'
to look over nrevieus % asking for 4 copy
OF The Honeysuckle and tie Bee"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
A Mans Word.


fSan Francisco BulAetin-g
The greatest liar on earth tells the
truth 20 his doctor. The most trlithfUl
man alive is tempte6 n lie 10 the S.
EszSor
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

Wen, there are a few of US left. after
ali.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19
All HaIIows College.

FOR BoARDERs AND DAY SCHOLARS
conplete Classical Scientific and Com
naercial Courses. Military Drill and GYM.
naStios. under the supervision OF exper-
fenced directors. The College VIII be re-
opened Thursday. Sept. 1.
For full Information apply to Rev. ].
Guinzn. 6. NJ. president
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-09-19

The advance sale for Hello Bill. Z"
which comes 10 the Grand Monday,
WIFI open this morning. Harry Corson
Clarke is featured with the comedy and
the performance Is highly spoken of.