The Savannah morning news., 1902-02-16
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1e 1902


to fortune as free to her as to her
brother. matrimony is no longer bread
and butter to a woman. 1t is the cakes
ana ale of life. p.
No matter how little he may have
come up to her ideal, the woman of
the past did not dare to let any man
who was good for her board BILL and
was what was vulgarly known as
good chance" get by her. The mod
ern woman, amply able to take care
cf herself. is under no such necessity.
She is free to consider things of the
soul, and to ask herself. How will it
fare with me, in all the years that
will be this mans wife? Has he the
comprehension to understand all the
needs of my nature? Has he the ten
derness to bear with me. and the wis
dom to lead me up to something better
and higher, or shall we both fall into
the ditch of daily petty squabbles and
Misunderstanding?
1t is not enough for the woman of
to-day that the man she marrles is
able to support her and has no big
vices. She is coming to realize that it
is the little things that make or mar
a woman's happiness-that surlipess
and ill-temper are responsible for Just
as much misery in the home as drink,
and that q woman can starve and
ually. as she could for lack of food
and clothes, physically.
Just how much girls are thinking
along this line--how much intelligence,
reason and womanliness they are put
ting into the consideration of the SUBJ
ject--I had forclbly impressed on me
the other day when a girl, her sweet
eyes full of trouble, came to me for
advice. & ySH >
.sT o,,, an1ae,a.1 - sna said t,to a
young man who is handsome, attrac-
tive. we'll placed in. every way in the
world / love him very dearly and
must suppose that he loves me, because
l am poor and there is no reason why
he should wish TO marry me except for
affections sake. Outwardly my fiance
is all that | could ask, but in all the
little things that are so much to a
woman he fails me utterly. He never
wants to be alone with me, he never
confides any of his hopes and plans to-
me, and when ask the simplest guess
ton about his business or the people
he has seen, he resents 1t, and says a
woman has no right to meddle in a.
mans private affairs. Even my love
seems to bore him, and he excuses his
apparent indifference by telling me he
is not of an affectionate disposition.
Perhaps I should not feel my
fanoe's neglect so much except that
there is another man who showers me
with little kindnesses, and protects me
at every turn with his love, who is
always looking out for my pleasure and
happiness, and who will scheme for
days for the sake of a single word
alone with me, or half an hour OF what
the French lover called solitude a
deux.' Now, what shall 1 do between
the, two2" n4
my child" I made answer, marry
the man who loves you, in preference
| to the man you love, If it is a choice
| between the two. Men and women
never differ so widely as in the way
matrmony affects them. A man when
| he marries. ninety-nine times of out a
| hundred, starts in with all the capital
| of love he is ever going to have, but
| q woman does business on a constantly
| increasing fund of tenderness and af-
| fection. A million outside interests dis
| tract him. Her world is shut within
| the walls of her home, her interests
| center there, and she will put a halo
! around the head of any man who is
| good to her. .eeE
There is just one sort of woman
| who is justified in marrying the kind
| of man you describe, and that is the
| woman who is strong enough to live
| her life alone. There are women who
can absorb Themselves in society. or
in club and phflanthropc work, and
who, having their own interests and
] diversions, go their way and let their
| husband go his, but this is no more
true marriage than painted picture
| of fire is thing by which we can
warm ourselves.
"The woman VINO can do this must
| be essentially. cold-natured herself or
| else she is one of those rare domestic
| saints who can put the beloved one be-
! fore themselves and efface all of their
own personality in his. They must be
| willing to see their husbands have
amusements in which they have no
| part, occupations of which they know
| nothing, plans about which they, are
never consulted. Sometimes you see a
woman who can do this-who is .appar-
| entity contented to simply stay at home
and keep the fire lighted on the hearth
| stone, and who makes no querulous
| complaints about being left behind and
shut out of her husbands inner life.
| but before a wife reaches that plane
| of. passioniess calm, she has been
| through purgatory of disappointed
| love and frantic jealousy.
"Rmember this, also, little sister,
| that the man who is Indifferent to you
| before marriage will neglect you after
| wards. If he does not care to be alone
| with you now, prepare yourself to
| spend every evening alone, while he
seeks companionship at the club, after
| you are married. If he is selfish to
| you now, and does not concern himself
20 see that you have the best of every
| thing, and consult your pleasure and
| taste before his own make up your
| mind that you will be the one who will
have to stay at home and do the econ
omiZing and wear the shabby clothes.
while he fares forth in fine raiment to
enjoy himself, and bear IL without
! complaint, because he has warned you
what to expect. IL you marry an ice
berg, you must be prepared yourself
for chilly weather for the balance of
your life.
Never forget, either, that there is
no other quality in "a man, not even
though he were as brave as Julius
Caesar, and as wise as, Solomon, and
as successful as Pierpont Morgan, that
can atone to u woman for the lack
of affection and tenderness. Many a
husband who would die defending his
wife, makee her life miserable by his
gruffness and lack of consideration for
her. Many man who is an encyclo-
pedia of knowledge and whose far
reaching judgment is world-famous
has not sense enough to read his wifes
heart. Many a man who lavishes thou
sands of dollars in jewels and clothes
on his wife, starves her for love.
A very interesting piece of news
comes from Philadelphia. IT is TO the
effect that the courts will be invoked
IN dafarrnine inst what constitutes pro-