davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
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"What kind OF a preacher is hep
Wonderful, sir. He has all the mod.
ern improvements" Life.
Ted-"You can believe only half Whist
a girl says" Ned-"Sure, but which
half" Ted-"The half you don't be-
lieve when she's saying it."-Judge.
Dwindle, dwindle, little war,
How / wonder more and more,
As about the veldt you hop,
When you really mean to stop.
London Trutl.
"You horrid child, you have been
taking some Of this curry of your un.
cles.' "Only a mouthful, auntle, and
1 put it all back in the jar again.
Brooklyn Life.
Thompson says he regards his
mother-in-law as perfect treasure"
"To be sure he dOes-the kind he'd
be satisfied to lay up in heaven
The Smart Set.
Rich Old Aunt Robert, I'm going
10 make my will. think l shall leave
you" pause). Attentive Nephew
(eagerly)-"Yes, AuntP Aunt-"-be.
fore long."-Punch.
Penelope-"Mercy! Why did Mabel
ever marry that young Slimkins? He's
such poor excuse Of man" Ann
"Well, a poor excuse Is better than
none."-Chicago News.
McJigger-"I find it's a good rule
-, nh l,ng,
Thlngumbob-"It a better rule never
to hit man when he's got you down"
Philadelphia Press.
Ethels mother told the grocer to
send her dressed turkey, and when
it arrived the little miss said Mamma,
the turkey isn't dressed at all; it's
perfectly nude.'-Chicago News.
"Do you think that Miss Strong will make
Jack good wife p
McRounders inquired Of Clubbey.
I wouldn't say that, but you just bet
your life
She'll try to make him a good hubby"
Philadelphia Press.
"Quick, Georgew the wife screamed;
"hurry to the raby; she's trying to
swallow her rattlew 81 know it,"
replied the husband, calmly. 81 want
her to get ahead of Buffkin's baby,
who swallowed button. ."-Ohio State
Journal
John" she whispered, there's a
burglar in the paTlor. He just bumped
against the piano and struck several
keys" "You don't say. III go right
down." said ne. "Oh, John, don't do
anything rashv' Rash? Why, I'm
going to help him. You don't suppose
he can remove that piano from the
house without assistance, do yoaT-
Philadelphia Press.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

fitting covers to exclude the moisture.
Fastened 10 one side Of the reservoir
is u pistol for use in attracting atten-
tion. The inventors also mention a
megaphone, a compass and a chart Of
the vessels course as articles which
might be added. while q mast and sail
also have their place in the equipment.
1t is quite certain that if ship
wrecked man succeeded in equipping
himself with this apparatus he could
maintain life for several days. and,
perhaps, weeks. ..A..
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

arate parts, as illustrated herewith, is
the best flower pot now in the market.
The inventor, who is a well-known dor
ist, says that on account Of the air
being able to circulate around the
earth in the inner pot the plant deyel-
ops not only much better than in an
ordinary pot, but also grows quicker
and larger, and keeps better. The
pots are both made of clay, and the
outer pot has several nose-shaped holes
through which the air is admitted into
similar holes of the inner pot. The lat
ter can be turned in such a way that
its holes are closed by the outer pot.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
Elected Man Who Called Them LIAR

When John Stewart Mill ran f.,
Parliament In Westminster he was
asked at one of the meetings, chiefly
composed OF the working classes,
whether he had ever published the
opinion that the working classes Of
England, though they differed from
those Of other countries in being
ashamed of lying, were general liars.
He answered without hesitation that
ne had, whereupon there was vehement
applause. The first worklngman who
spoke after Mr.. NILS admission said
amid cheers that the working classes
wanted friends, not hatterers. Mil
won his electlOn.-Goldwln Smith, "a
he Atlantic Monthly.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
~HRKg sPsARE.

Marred, murdered, INSPECTED,
Adapted, mistaken;
And volubly voted
The product of Bacon.
And prefaced with comment,
Abridged, annotated,
by men Of no momcnV
Curtailed and coilated.
Sold, sold and reso,d,
Bound, bound, bound again,
With edges and tops OF gold;
Or sprinkled or plain.
The poems in vellum,
The dramas in cloth;
Ard together they'll sell 'em,
Or separate, or both.
Recited and acted
And beloved and spoued,
Extracted, redacted,
By amateurs shouted;
And edited, edited
BY old or new men,
And frequently credited
With some acumen.
Rhymed, sonet'ed, ode-d
In immature verse,
With eulogy loaded,
Or just the reverse;
Initiated, dissected
And parodied, too,
Essayed and selected
For someone's review.
Trimmed, twisted, translated
To suit every tongue;
Pruned, cut, expurgated
"a gift for the young.)
Explained, Illustrated
And turned into prose;
Criticised, emendated!
And read? Goodness knows?
London Punch.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
rn % % mesh cIoseIY

sectors swing on their pins. Stops on
the frame prevent the crushing mem
bers turning far enough to become dis
connected. In operation the meat to
be made tender is introduced between
the rocking members and the handle
which operates the cru-her is moved
back and forth to draw the meat in be-
tween the teeth and crush the fbers
until it is tender. Rudolph Stone is the
patentee.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
Moving Targets,

By means of this device the would.
be hunter can have running rabbits,
or bounding deer, on his own estate.
The arrangement consists of an undu-
latlng track, on which runs a wheeled
cllTier. To this is attached the target,
made to represent a rabbit or deer or
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
IMPROVED AUTO
MAT!G COUNTER
The Mechanism Sinplified So That the
Cost is Reduced.

TT-YIIE complicated mechanism
hitherto necessary to auto.
matte counting machines has
had a great deal to do with
the high price at which they are held
as a considerable amount Of accurate
gearing was necessary to actuate the
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

. The manuscripts Of the fifth and
twelfth centuries are written with
black ink, which has not shown the
least signs Of fading or ohllteration.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
Rapid Envelope Opener.

Perhaps the ingenious device here
pictured will recommend itself to the
busy man as a handy complement to
his desk outfit. The inventor is Harry
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

North America was first discovered
by Sebastian Cabot, a Venetian, in the
service Of England. In 1497.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

Take care Of the pennies, and the
dollars will take care Of you.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
WELL ILLUNEElJE
a CURVE
Automatic Keadlisht-D Directing Device
For Railway Use.

VSV ITH the headlights now in
~ use on railway locomo-
V v tlves it is impossible to
see the track ahead at
night when rounding curve, owing 10
the fact that the lamp is fixed and the
rays Of light must extend in the same
line as the boiler, and consequently the
light does not shine on the track ex-
cept on the straight roadway. Thus
an obstruction placed on the curve
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

A BIpartite Flower Pot.
Hugo Lonitz claims that his new
flower pot, which is made of two sep.
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
semI-Automatic Razor strop,

Here is a novelty, indeed, and guar.
arteed to insure a keen razor. The
| lade is inserted in groove. The
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05
For Sale by Druggists Generally. ~

hamotem o. bu
omebn
Family mI bon o $ 70 a along
The suburban citizen., 1902-04-05

stands are offered in a variety of pat
terms, some with and some without
the toast rack, but all admitting of the
free use of both hands while reading.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14
UNITED STATES.
A Shot That Made Trouble.

An odd incident happened in the then
Danish West Indies about n quarter
of Il century ago that nearly caused
serious international complications. An
American marksman, paying Il visit to
Charlotte Amalia, amused the governor
by an exhibition of his skill with the
rifle. Sitting on the vcranda of the
government house, he said that he
could cut with bullet the signal hal
yards on the flagstaff of the fort and
lower the Danish standard to the
ground. AS the lines We're almost in
visible in the distance the governor
WAS willing to bet that he could not do
it. The shot rang out, and the flag fell.
Presently Il horSeman dashed up, in
forming the governor that some one
had fired on the flag. There was great
excitement. The governor, none too
popular, it seems, with the military.
ruined his political future by admit
ting that the affair was a joke in
which he cOnnivcd. Report being sent
to Copenhagen, highly colorcd. Of
course, by the commandant, his excel
lcncy was summarily rcmOved.-New
York Press
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14
Sensations DHring HnnrinY

One question often asked and which
few living persons are able to answer
is, what are the sensations of n man
who is being stranglcd with a ropc?'
Some of the few who have lived to give
an account of what occurred to them ut
that critical moment say that after
one instant of pain the chief sensation
is that of Il mass of brilliant colOrs be-
fore the eyes. Professor Boughton,
who was one day testing for himself
what such an experience would be
like, lost his footing and was acciden-
tally discovered and rescued just as
the last faint spark of life was about
10 leave the body. He declared after
ward that he felt no pain and that the
only sensation was that of Il fire be-
fore his eyes which finally changed
from bright blue to Il black color
lie said that he had no fear of the
consequences and that the colorS were
even Il source Of extreme pleasure.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14
Ideas In Wall Papers.

The paper to be placed upon the walls
of q room should be consistent. 1t may
add much to the beauty of the room or
it may cause everything in 1t to appear
unattractive. Friczes or borders are
not. as a rule. desirable unless plain
paper is used on the walls below the
picture molding. A figured paper should
be carried to the ceiling and finished
with mOlding.
Wood sheathing, paneled. is an admi-
rable wall treatment for library or
hall The wood may be left in its nat
ural color or painted any shade that
may he desired. Smuggling the walls Of
II room Is unique scheme. but some
what inconsistent
Stcnciling is the only wall decOra-
ton. however. which Is durable and ut
the same time absolutely individual
that is. when the designs are original
with the decorator
Whatman's handmade paper. coated
until saturated with linseed oil and al
lowed to lie fiat until required for use,
is the best material from which to cut
stencils for wall decoration. Good,
tough brown paper coated with knot
ting on both sides and the pattern cut
out before 1t becomes too dry ard hard
answers very well. When paper that
is not tough is used. it should have a
backing of calico pasted on to make 1t
stouter. In this case the stencil should
he oiled on the paper side only. and the
calico should receive n thin coat Of
knotting to preserve the fiber.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14
Micn and IsinEluSs.

Mica and isinglass are not ut all the
same, though the names are sometimes
confused. Mica is Il transparent min
aral, capable of being clcaved into elias
tic plates of extreme thinness. 1t is
transparent and is used like glass i'll
lanterns and the doors of stoves. Its
power of resisting heat makes it much
better than glass for stove doors. Isin-
glass is a substance consisting chiefly
of gelatin. 1t is prepared from the
sounds of air bladders of certain fresh
water fishes. The best deposits of
mica in the United States are in the
mountains of North Carolina. In the
Black Hills of Dakota mica is found
near tin ore. but its presence is not an
indication of gold.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14
Al New American Invasion.

Furnishing plans for homes in for
ciGn countries is not entirely unknown
to our advertising architects. particu-
larry in the English colonies where
American ideas are taken with appre-
citation. but it is quite departure for
nm architect to make plans for home
in ireland. Mr.. Samuel II. Davis. an
:rchitect of Philadelphia, enjoys this
distinction, having recently supplied
for Mrs. Margaret MacGinlry. Killy-
begs. Ireland, plans for a large and
beautiful colonial mansion.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14

There is flowing water in all Ill =
streets of Salt Lake City, and little
creeks and rivplrts run through many
of the yards of private houses. At
nearly every street corner there is a
towing fountain. The city's water sup
ply tumbles down from the snow cap
ped mountains into streams of crystal
white. shining and cold as ice.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14

FIRST FLOOR PLAN.
kitchen is especially arranged for con
vcnience and is provided with large
range.
The second floor has two large bed
rooms and one small chamber. At
some future time this latter room might
be made into bathroom. and the ex-
pcnse of so doing ought not to be very
heavy.
The cellar, which has well con-
creted floor. extends under the whole
house.
Stone Is the material used for the
UNDERMINING of this residence. and the
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14

weighed and not one penny should be
wasted The accompanying designs
show what can be done on sum con-
siderably less than $1,000. OF course
comfort and convenience have been the
first consideration, but the artistic has
not by any means been lost sight Of.
On the ground floor the hall Is very
nicely ornamented with n platform
staircase. Sliding doors connect the
parlor and the dining room, which are
both comparatively large rooms. The
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1902-06-14
SECOND FLOOR PLAN.

SECOND FLOOR PLAN.
superstructure Is of frame. The house
should be heated by furnace. With
artistic furnishings this dwelling could
be made n perfect little palace.
Cost to build, complete, $500.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
SENSATIONAL SUICIDE.
Woman Jumps Over the Railing of
Goat Island Bridge and Is Car
ried Over niagara Falls.

Niagara Falls, N. Y, April 4.-Delia
Tansey, of Buffalo, went over the
American falls at six o'clock Thurs
day evening. 1t was the most SEN
sational cataract suicide in years.
The woman jumped over the railing
of Goat island bridge about ten feet
from shore. William Connors, of
Liverpool, England, who was on the
bridge at the time, ran down the
shore and waded into the river. A
rake was passed to him, which he
succeeded in fastening in her clothes.
Miss Tansey begged piteously to be
saved. He tried to draw the woman
toward the shore, but her clothing
tore and she was carried over the
brink of the falls. Two hundred peo-
pie saw the woman go to her death.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11

Washington, April 3.-In the house
yesterday the sundry civil appropri-
alton bill was passed. making the
eighth of the regular annual sup
ply bills which has passed at this ses-
sion. A bill was introduced to abol-
ISL slavery in the Philippines and a
bill for reorganization of the con-
sular service was favorably reported.
Washington, April 1.-The senate
Dill to promote the efficiency of the
revenue cutter service was passed in
the house yesterday by vote of 1876
to 40. The committee on appropri-
ations reported the Notifications
appropriation bill, which carries
S6,562,455, and the committee on la
Dor ordered favorable report on
the bill requiring that all work for
the government shall be done on an
eight-hour basis.
Washington, April 5.-ln the house
yesterday Chinese exclusion bill was
considered. A resolution was adopted
calling for information regarding the
charges about an alleged British war
camp near New Orleans.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
RAISE THE BAR.
Presidcnt-Elect Palma. of Cuba, TIA llSs
to New York Chamber of Conn
merce on Trade Relations.

New York, April a. I. Estrada
Palma, president-elect of the Cuban
republic, in an address before the New
York chamber of commerce said in
part:
with my conviction that the best and
surest way TO attach one country to an
other consist in building up ard strength
ening the trade relations through recipro-
cal exchange of products and the develop
ment of other interests in the same line,
l, who entertain for Cuba, my native coun-
try, the greatest love, and feel at the same
time deep gratitude to the United States,
where. for is years, l have met with the
most kind, generous and cordial hospitality,
am anxious to see both countries closely
connected and firmly united by reciprocal
commercial treaty, drawn on the most ia
vorable terms, treaty to the end that
Cuba may become the largest market in
America for the products of the United
States, and that this country raise the bar
now placed against the Cuban products,
especially sugar and tobacco. which are
the principal staples of the island, and
constitute the only basis we have to start
on in unfolding other industries"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
SPRING ELECTIONS.
Voters Show Their Preference for
Candidates in the States of 1IIi-
nois and Wisconsin.

Chicago, April 2.-As the result of
the election yesterday the Chicago
city council will have 3s republicans
and 80 democratic aldermen. The
question of municipal ownership of
traction lines received vote of S to
1 in its favor in total vote of about
100000. The ownership of gas and
electric lighting plants was favored
by vote of Z to /, and the question
of nominating candidates by a direct
vote received vote of s to / in it's
favor. Municipal elections were held
in many Illinois towns and cities.
The result shows the sentiment of
Illinois is republican, although in
many cities and towns party lines
were wiped out and Independent and
"citiZens' :" tickets scored successes
over the candidates OF the leading
parties.
Milwaukee, April q The election
here was a democratic landslide.
Mayor Rose has been elected for a
third term by a plurality of over
5000. Nearly every town in the state
held municipal elections, and at Ken
osha, Racine, and one or two other
points women voted for the first time
for school directors. Most of the
towns elected mixed tickets and in
some there were lively contests.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
Provides His Epitnph.
A Brute Lynched.

Rome, Ca, April 2.-Walter Allen, a
negro charged with criminally assault
ing Miss Blossom Adamson, a 15-year-
old girl, in this city Monday afternoon,
was taken from the Jail Tuesday night
by 1000 people, who battered down the
prison doors and hanged him to an
electric light pole in the principal por-
ton of the city. A volley was fired
afterward and fully hundred bullets
entered the negroes body.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
UNCLE SAM-Now look out old man; this where let go.
and organize an army in the war
with Spain to January /, 1908.

and organize an army in the war
with Spain to January !, 1908.
Washington, April At the con-
clusion of a lively debate the senate
yesterday passed the oleomargarine
bill by a vote of 80 to 81. The bill
provides as follows:
That oleomargar!ne and kindred products
shall be subject to all the laws ard regula-
tons of any state or territory or the Dis
trict of Columbia, into which they are
transported, whether in original packages
or otherwise; that any person who sells
oleomorgarire and furnishes it for the use
of others, except to his own family, who
shall mix with 1t any artificial celebration
that causes it to look like butter shall be
held to be manufacturer and shall be
subject to the tax provided by existing law
that upon oleomargarine colored SO to
resemble butter a tax of ten cents pound
shall be levied, but upon oleomargarine not
coiored the tax shall be onefourth of one
cent per pound; that upon adulterated but
ter tax of ten cents a pound shall be
levied; and upon all process or renovated
butter the tax shall be one-fourth of one
cent per pound.
The manufacturers of process or of rem
oVated or of adulterated butter shall pay
an annual tax of $500, the wholesale deal
ers shall pay tax of $3.50 and the retail
dealers tax of $4S per annum. The meas
ure provides regulations for the collection
of the tax, and prescribes infinitely how
the various products are to be pre- pared for
market.
Washington, April 5.-The senate
yesterday began consideration of the
Chinese exclusion bill, Senator Mitch
ell (Ore.) making the opening speech
in it's favor, Reports were made in
favor of public buildings at Sterling,
ILL.,, and kalamazoo and Flint. Mich.
An amendment was adopted TO the
oleo bill limiting the tax to the ..ar-
officially" colored product.
House.
Washington, March 31.-In the house
on Saturday the time was devoted to
the bill increasing the efficiency of the
revenue cutter service, but did not
complete its consideration. The pres
ident submitted the correspondence
passing between Gen. Miles, Secretary
Root and himself with reference to
the policy in the Philippines.
Washington, April 1.-The Cuban
reciprocity bill providing 20 per cent.
tariff concession was reported to the
house yesterday by the ways and
means committee. Consideration of
the sundry civil appropriation bill,
which carries $49,323,S95, was begun
and genral debate was ended before
the close of the session.
Washington, April 2.-The house
made rapid progress with the sundry
civil appropriation bill yesterday,
completing 90 of the 139 pages of the
bill. Mr.. Knox, from the committee
on territories, reported the bill for
the admission of New Mexico, Okla
homa and Arizona.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
WORK DONE IN CONGRESS
Measures Of Importance Are Under
Consideration in Both the
Senate and House.
DAILY SUMMARY OF THE PROCEEDINGS.
by Vote of 30 to 31-House Passes
Measure to Promote Efficiency of
the Revenue Cutter Scrvfce-Other
Business Transacted.

Washington, April During the en-.
tire session of the senate yesterday
the oleomargarine bill was under con-
sideration. Senator Lodge reported
the Philippine government bill.
Washington, April 2.-In the senate
yesterday the oleomargarine bill was
further discussed. The Indian appro-
priation bill, carrying S9,415,339, was
reported; also bills for the erection
of monument in Washington to the
late Benjamin f. Stephenson. founder
of the Grand Army of the Republic,
and to establish the University of the
United States.
Washington, April 3.-senators
Bailey (Tex) and Spooner (Wis.)
made speeches in the senate yester-
day on the oleomargarine bill. A bill
was passed extending the time for
presentation of claims to reimburse
the governors of states and terri
tories for expenses incurred by them
in aiding the United States to raise
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1902-04-11
TELLS OF ATROCITIES.
Gen. Funston Says Filipino Rebels
Murdered 1000 of Their Own Coun-
trymcn In Two Years.

San Francisco, April 4.-Gen. Fred
erick Funston was the guest of honor
at a banquet given by the Ohio so.
ciety. In response to a toast he said
in part:
"After the first three or four months of
fighting the Filipinos forsook all civilized
methods Of fighting and began guerrilla
warfare of a sort unparalleled in history.
They killed directly or by torture nearly
1900 of their own countrymen during the
years 1900 and 1901, because they would not
contribute money to support the insurgent
cause.
81 know of nearly 400 cases in my own dis
trict in which natives were burned alive
and many of these were women and chill
dren.
'They committed inconceivable atrocities
on American soldiers who fell into the
hands. l had the pleasure of capturing and
hanging some fiends guilty of this.
The Fflipinos are absolutely incapable
OF self-government to-day and l Go not
think the next generation of the race will
he