Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1902-02-20
Old S1ouch'S
Dilemma

There was once young fellow who
prided himself on being the champion
long-distance author of the world. IL
was his proud boast that he had once
written two complete and hair raising
novels of about 100000 words each
within the space of six working days.
and he was won't TO aver with conn.,
dence that he could repeat the per-
formance with one hand tied behind
him.
He was known to tens of thousands
of Youthful readers of red, yellow and
pink fiction as "Old SLOUGH" and he
wrote of strange and weird happen
ings in strange and weird places IN
manner yet more strange and weird.
Old SLOUGH had started life as
printers "devil" in the office OF the
Fireside Reflector, but he was am
bilious and soon became an ONCE BOY
Then he took to night school and mace
such progress in the three YRS" that
his culture was recognized in due time
by an advance to the position OF copy
reader, in which capacity he was called
upon to read several million words
from the accomplished pen OF Call
fornia Charlie" who was at that time
the mainstay of the fiction department
of the Reflector.
His chance came one night when
messenger arrived in hot haste from
the lodgings of california Charlie" to
report that the gifted author was I'M
able to finish the concluding install
ment of his thrilling novelette, en-
titled: "Three-Fingered Steve; or,
The Cowboys Curse" for the reason
that he was greatly incommoded by
the presence in his room of three pink
and-blue zebras with yellow polka
dots and six old-gold lizards with
purple tails.
The editor was in despair, for the
Reflector must go to press in six hours,
until the new copy reader volunteered
to finish the story from the point
where the lizards had so incontinently
interrupted it. This he was allowed to
do, and he accomplished his task with
such success that when, few months
later. California Charles acquaint-
anceship with reptiles and such land
ed him in the incurable ward the flu
ture Old SLOUGH stepped easily and
gracefully into his place,
Probabilities never hampered Old
SLOUGH. What his readers wanted were
improbabilities, nor would they even
balk at an occasional impossibility,
which was just as well. In the most
successful of his works, tale of ro-
nance and adventure entitled: "Wick-
ed Bill; or, The Dauntless Hero OF
Bloody Gulcb," the talented author
landed his people on the rocky shores
of one of the Fiji islands, shipwrecked
starving, and defenseless. Up rushed
band of cannibals bent on a good
meal. Did they get it? lover my dead
body" said Old SLOUGH to himself and
he wrote:
at so CHANGED that our hero had
once known FIJI islander in Sar
Francisco and from him had learned
the language of those parts, He there
fore addressed the leader of the banc
in the vernacular. Amusement seizet
the savage cannibals. They dropped
their cruel weapons, grasped BilP'
} horny hand, and hailed him as broth
er. They were saved!"
But with assured success languol
E overlook Old SLOUGH. Only when h
e was penniless could he be induced t.
: write, and that was why he sat one Ma!
morning with his feet upon the win
dow sill, looking out over the neigh
!. boring chimney pots, although he hat
: Just received an urgent demand for thu
first chapters of "Shivering Sara; or
The Counterfeiter's Stratagem." IL
+ had sc cents in his pocket. Why SHOULD
It he toll? Why, indeed?
1t was at this moment that he had {
: call from his friend Jake Mosenthal
', whose father ran a pawnshop aroun
p , the corner. He often took delight d
n inquiring of the guileless how it coul