davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
He Could Wait.

Say" remarked the impatient pas.
senger on the New York cross-town car.
don't you ever go any faster than
this?
Don't get gay" snapped the con-
ductor. If this don't suit ser, yer kin
git out an walk"
oh! I'm not in such a hurry as all
that" replied the passenger, sarcas-
ically.-Philadalphia Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
Not 4 Summer Affair

Gobang-I intend to propose j
girl next November.
Mijit-Why not propose nov,
love her?
Gobang-Great smoke, no!
to marry her. This is a serious /
with me.-Judge.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
IHumbuuaed the Humbuu,

Minister Visiting prison)-HCx
you say there have been success
your life. 2"
Bunco Pete-Why, man, in ny
I've fiimflammed a phrenoogs
writer of detective stories, a char
reader, and a criminologist.- Jui
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
A Born Collector

Il believe" said the proud mother,
that OUT little Willie is born to be-
come a multimillionaire."
Does he want to go to work." asks
the doubling father.
No; but he don't seem to under-
stand the least thing about art
Judge.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
The L-oaic Of Il.

Helen said she was tired Of
people agree with her about
thing"
well, she's just broken Of b
gagement with Jack. They had
tie disagreement. Detroit
Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
Proof Positive.

Lady-You say you were . =
and a hero in the late war!
Tramp-Yes'm.
Lady--How can you plO''
bravery? =,
Tramp-Give me q malcn =
light your gasoline stove tof 'Ou'
troit Free Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
A Great Savinn.

Mrs. Buster-Mrs. Jasperk n
her own clothes now. They Dug
be rich soon.
Mrs. Redhead-Oh, I don't
Her husband is living in restaH
in the meantime.-Judge.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

Mother Gray's sweet Powdss,hsr @
Successfully used by NJ
nurse In the Children's Hon LA d
York. Cures Feverishness' nd
sch, Teethiug Disorders. ,oy va
uiate the Bowels and pes.V' n b
over 80, 900 testimonials: ~ Aaa
gists. Csc. sample FREE;
Allen s. Olmsted, Leroy
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
GiddY Insect.

"Your mamma" said Papa s1sst 10 n
his eldest son, lis the
know"
"Why, papaY' ..,ondlng
"She is continually at.ep prsss.
phor balls. Detroit Free
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

Pennibs--Have you read my :
EN-; ..oo a,
Inkerton-Your last, dia sO
Pennibs-Yes. mi
Inkerton-WelI, / hope So
News.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
Uncle Cher

Some er de loudes' talkin' reform.
ers," said Uncle Eben, makes me
mink OF a baldheaded man goin' 'roun'
seliin' hair restorer ."--Washinston
Star.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25
Fortune.

"F1liit has a fortune in sight now"
What's his scheme?"
Plng-pong that can be played In an
autonobile."-Nsw York Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

When doctors fail, try eousdpd
Bitters. Cures dyspepsia,
inyi0orates the whole system
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

A. w. II. Reen, Pharmaci ia Cof
Peoria, ILL.,, says: - ar tweD5y J
boiisaive and Carbolisoap mend To-
and can consistently recJafsetioS'
all. They always give sa'
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

Mr.. johnson promises 70 pnt i
Jeffersonian simplicity mas and !
long chasm between homsm.l
FLORIDA Times-Union
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

Hairs CatArrh Care =,
Is a constitutional cure. fr'ee
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

One way 10 get ricn
make haste slowly.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1902-09-25

.ssu
..~~~r
q Washl'
IL wires
sTsIess te
var dep
l,vral Of tn
1 irc-i s.
| sar \
d nc
las
for
I 70 proc'
IA ia the
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4 from an
|sssury v
from
4 NcKinl
Esrt, for
|sssn due
|srstOn
n session
navy de
fro
n Of the
N Lieut..
4. sept. J
vas ap
. broth
. var dep
answer 7
n denying
"a viola
/ Mss 7
W
Ia legal q
/ The dee
|eslly teri
division
Is press
n will ful
Esd intor
isls
III hundr
d fact re
.sphy, clil
Insnt will
Eretary n
Intion t.
ME for
kily crippl
Il which
Il In a S
the Euro
'Dnlng tn
\ has give
tsm.
be smugg
bred at B
kyt. Ship
sas she
nploye Q
hce at Y
ry Bonn
4 nught as
hter Of
&h A T
b him, br
/ cOmmi
county
lave foul
teasure1
slzled alb
b. Taylt
'ont.,
4 gieve,
sy, arm
all day
here has
hrts Of
b Shots
proceed
The
also par
tier beinI
b groun
outlaw
several
a pile
bis Of I
lsndino,
PeoI
AGles B
! supreI
shn Dew
In Of Il
led to th
n. Y.
snry B,
nOmina
lh distr
Michigan
D Bow
%lncinnni
be treas
Is dea
la. R.
isy and
lsury I'll
at his
BITS dis
FiRlsm
engine
at Ke
came d
and
lite.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
Usalnesn at a Premium.

In the town Of Haschmann, Ger
many, prizes are offered yearly for the
men who will marry the ugliest or the
most crippled and to the women over
forty who have been Tilted ut least
twice. The money was left by big
financier. and be. realizing that beauty
Is an attraction hard to overcome. made
a provision in his will that out of the
income Of the fund not less than 4lG
shall go with the ug!iest girl in any
year and the cripple shall receive ti2
The four women over forty who have
been Tilted by lover receive. when the
funds will permit. f10 each. but the
trustee can vary this amount and al
his own discretion offer larger prize
to some one who will marry an unusu.
ally ugly girl or one to whom nature
has been specially unkind.-Tatler.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
/. Warned I'm Il Dres,rn.

An instance in which a cream was
nseful in preventing an impending ca.
fastrophe is recorded of daughter OF
Mrs. Rutherford. at Ederton, the grand.
daughter of Sir Walter Scott. This Ia
dy dreamed more than once that hey
mother had been murdered by black
servant. She was SO much upset by
this that she returned home, and, to
her great astonishment and not q little
to her disfnay, she met on entering the
house the very black servant she had
met in her dream. He had been en-
gagged in her absence. She prevailed
uponsa gentleman to watch In an ad.
Joining room during the following
night.
About o'clock in the morning the
gentleman heard footsteps on the
stairs, came oet and met the servant
carrying a quantity of Goals. Being
questioned as to where he was going,
he answered confusedly that he was
going to mend the mistress fire, which
at O'Clock In the morning in the mid
die of summer was evidently impossi-
BILE. On further investigation strong
knife was found hidden In the Goals.
The lady escaped, but the man was
subsequently hanged for murder, and
before his execution he confessed that
he intended to have assassinated Mrs.
Rutherford.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
A Daxed Porter.

Scene Pullman car entering 81
Louis. Porter obsequiously whisk-
brooming woman passenger. After
lingering expectantly he receives a tip
"a five cent nickel. He looks at 1t
critically. then drops 1t into the Gus
pidor, remarking deflantly, "Ah'm er
portah fruIn Chicago.' "Open this
Windows" commands the woman. He
obeys, whereupon she stoops. picks up
the cuspidor and empties it upon the
track: then. drawing herself up haugh-
tily, observes, II am lady from Bos-
tom
When in the station every passenger
had left the car the porter said to the
conductor: Los dat niekels en- Ah'm
er fool. 1t teacnes me err lesson. how
goIndever. never Ter fool wild none O.
desc Yankee women. Why. der ain't
er woman through de whole west
who'd er thought O castin' dat nickel
on de roadside when dey knowed All
wanted it."-New York Press.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19

II you are bilious aGf seeking advisers.
Take DeWit.'s l.:ille Early Rlsers,
Just ba'ore going t. bed.
You will ilnG on the morrow,
You are rid of your sorrow
That's all; just enough said.
These famous pills do not grippe, but
move the bowels gently and easily,
cleansing the liver. Bells Pharmacy.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
FoRcEFUL EXPRESSIONS.

the Power Of illustration Tn &A@
Turn OF a Phrase.
James Russell Lowell said, There's
deal o. solid kicking in the meekest
looking mule" II the statement had
oeen, There's a good deal Of obstinacy
severed by apparent amiability," the re.
mark might have passed without mo-
nent's notice, but attached to such @
agure as the poet used 1t will be din
sult for the mind ever to get rid Of 1t.
Mazzini says, Labor is the divine
law Of our existence, This 1s little
more than commonplace, but when he
added, "Repose is desertion and sui.
eide" the commonplace was transfg-
ared into a memorable illustration.
A French writer said, ''The really ef-
dcient laborer will be found not to
crowd his day with work" That seems
10 be forgettable. When he adds, "He
Rill saunter to his task surrounded by
wide halo Of ease and leisure" the
aalo serves the purpose Of an explana.
tory Illustration.
President Garfield once said, 'Nine
times out OF ten the best thing that can
happen to young man is to be tossed
overheard and compelled to sink or
swim for himself" The tossing over.
board was the illustration. The saga
:ious president gave 1t significance and
emphasis by personal reference, "In all
my acquaintance never knew a man
to be drowned who was worth the saw
ng."
When Lavater said, "Habit is alto
yether too arbitrary a master for me to
submit to-" it was the word master"
that constituted the memorable Illus
ration.
Carlyle. a great master Of metaphor,
said truly: "No man lives without JOS
.ting and being jostled. In all ways he
1as to elbow himself through the
world. giving and receiving offense." !"
The doctrine of this sentence might
easily have become mere platitude,
but it is fixed upon the memory by jos.
tling and being jostled and the elbow.
Ing OF oneself through the world. This
illustration Is the very making Of the
argument,-Jcseph Parker. D. d. 1B
HOuiietic Review.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
Preaching Monkeys.

The author OF =. lie History OF Bra
iii" tells Of spec ) OF monkey called
preachers. EAtry morning and
evening these no@.eys assembleI III
the woods. One t:.1rs higher posi-
tion than the rest and makes signal
with his fore paw. AT this signal the
others sit around him aud listen. When
they are all seated, he begins to utter
q series Of sounds. When he stops
these cries, he makes another signal
with his paw. and the others cry out
until he makes a third signal upon
which they become silent again. This
author, Mr.. Maregroye. asserts that he
was a witness to these preachings.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
The man with the Fiddle.

The little old man 6ddled very hard
as he stood near the curbstone in
Twenty-third street. The pass by
looked at him curioHsly. Some OF them
smiled. No one gave him a penny.
Presently he was seen to totter and
then to fall, but he kept on fddling
Just the same, even when he lay prone
upon his back. A man helped him to
his feet. He never missed note. 4
little boy who had been regarding him
with keen interest went up to him.
Suddenly the bow hung poised and
motionless The little old man had
run down. The boy bought him for d
quarter, however. The vender showed
him how to start the fiddle up again,
and the two went off together, happy
and contented.- New York Press.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
7E4E FEMININE MIND.
some ETen Think They FathOm TO-
bat They Are Mistaken.

some ETen Think They FathOm H.
but They Are Mistaken.
4 man can very seldom tell what is
passing in woman's mind. He talks
with another man, and he can follow
his processes; he gets his point of
view; he can read between the lines;
he can make a shrewd guess as to
how he came to say that or why he
refrained from saying the other, says
lhe Watchman.
But a woman's mental processes are
not those of man. Her mental ma
ehinery is geared differently. You hear
what she tells you. You can make in
ferences from it. They will be wrong
because you do not know how she
came to say what she did; you do not
have the clew. Try to guess what she
will say next, and you will find thar
you are all at sea.
The man who says that he under
stands woman is himself woman
No man can understand woman. He
may love her. There may exist be-
tween his soul and hers that indie
Unable and celestial sympathy which
Is the sweetest thing on earth, but he
does not understand her.
Her mental operation, her ways Of
thought, heE point of view. will always
be as inscrutable to him as the mental
processes of an angel. Whether wom-
en- understand each other Is not quite
certain. A greater part of the delight
that men find in the companionship of
women arises from their inscrutability.
You cannot measure or exhaust them.
Their charming inconsequence. as
1t seems to you, will never cease to
puzzle you, and every fresh converse
tion reveals a novelty of attitude or
opinion
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
A Clever Thief.

This is how the presence Of mind and
audacity of a Chicago thief saved him
from being locked up: A policeman
who recognized him and knew he was
wanted" put him under arrest. with
the words. "You are wanted at head.
quarters" Yes, know" replied the
thief quickly. II was arrested last
night and was bailed out this morning
You are too slow" lit does look that
way" said the crestfallen policeman
as he told the thief he could 60, Of
which permission the thief lost no
time in availing himself. Later. to his
chagrin, the policeman found that the
thief had not been previously arrested
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
.RHFUM MATISM

IL Some people have been suffering
|aOS from Rheumatism so long that
naRR they can scarcely remember the
1BHk-. time when they were entirely free
from an ache or pain, and have
long since forgotten the joys of a painless
existence. They are at the mercy of every
i'll wind, and their misery is aggravated
by exposure to cold or sudden changes in
the ternnerafure They become walking
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
EnOflnYimCRh.

A Presbyterian preacher in the cen,
trail part of New York state tells this
story ON himself:
at was Sunday morning. and I had
started for church. The family were
preparing to follow when the youngest.
a fve-yearold, protested, Il do NOT
want TO go to church"
don't feel much like it myself,
FREQ. THIS morning. replied his mother
but we must go. Father has TO go
has gone already. and he has to
preach
"'Yes. said Fred, unconvinced, but
we have to listen, aud that's worser.' !.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
Birds. Eggs Too Mach For science

BhRWDS EgES AOO M1SM HOE ScAcMSSs
It's not often that science acknowl-
edges herself at fault in an apparent
ly simple matter, but she frankly does
SO in regard to the color and marking
of large proportion BIZ birds eggs.
A reason there must be for their in
6nite diversity; it cannot be an es-
thetic one. and all we can say with
any c0nfidence is that the ever per
vading instinct or tIIstrust is probably
exhibited in eggshells as In more I'm.
portant thugs. and the -pain idea in
their scheAle of coloratipn has been
the securing of safety from many che
mics hy harInoIizing them with their
surroundings. But it is Il scheme full
OF perplexing exceptions. which any
one can study for hinlself.-Pall Mall
Gazette.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19

Bowling Green, Ky.
Gentlemen:-About 8 year ago
was attacked by acute rheumatism
inmy shoulders, arms and legs below
the knee. I could not raise my arm
to comb my hair. Doctors prescribed
for me for over two months without
giving me any relief. saw 8. 8. 9.
advertised and decided to try it.
Immediately commenced it's use
felt better, and remarked to my
mother that was glad I had at last
found some relief. continued it's
use and am entirely well. 7 will
always feel deeply interested in the
success Of 8. q. q. since it did me 80
much good. Yours truly,
MRS. ALICE HORTON.
S11 Twelfth Street.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19

so we'll or so promptly as S. S. S. II
blood its nourishing and health-sus-
rich blood is again circulating through
: matter are washed out of the muscles
and joints, and the pains at once cease
and Rheumatism is a thing of the
past. S. S. S. 10 o purely vegetable
medicine and does not derange the
stomach like the strong mineral
remedies, but builds up the general
health, increases the appetite and
tones up the digestion.
Through our Medical Department
c sufferer will receive helpful advice
without charge. Write us fully about
SPEOREgO OOss ATLANTA GAv
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19

Samples Of the artificial flowers and
designs to be used in the grand flower
parade during the carnival are on ex-
hibition at 156 Congress street, and
open for inspection of the public. The
flower parade, headed by the queen OF
the carnival, will be one of the most
attractive features of the street fair,
with the queen riding on a most mag
niflcent float. The queens dress will
be her selection, purchased by the
Eagles.
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19

y - ~~~
the joints become so stiffened and bent
that they are at last compelled to give
up or hobble about on crutches.s
Nobody ever outlived Rheumatism;
the disease never loosens its grip or
leaves of its own accord, but must be
driven out by intelligent and persist
ent treatment through the blood, for
Rheumatism of every variety and form
is caused by an over acid condition of
the blood, and the deposit in muscles,
joints and nerves of corrosive poisons
and gritty PARTICLES, and it is these
irritating substances that produce the
inflammation, swelling and pains,
which last as long as the blood remains
in this sour and acid state,
To cure Rheumatism permanently
the blood mustt be purified and invig
Grated, and no other remedy does this
refreshes and restores to the thin acid
tanning properties. And when strong,
@AN
The Tucson citizen., 1902-11-19
ACUTE AND CHRONIC,
MUSCULAR, MERCURIAL,
APTRnllR AP ANN long 81
SNaA tsOO@FNA NaSD exister
sasrs "A anaa a-nnNx i'll win
ENf LAW MA ] UKYs by exp


muscles and joints foreteng the approaching
recruited
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-10

Mrs. Louise a. Jackson of Portland
Of York county against her uncle, Hiram
jackson of South WATERFORD, to recove,
Il share of farm and cumberland DECIDE
To him by his father, who died last
spring. The deed was executed about
three years ago. The plaintiff alegc
that undue influence was used by the de
PENDANT in getting possession of the deed
that his father was IS years old mcntalll
and physically iniirm and that he was
asked to sign the deed the day his SOL
Jacob jackson. Jr.. was found hanging
in the barn; that at the time in questio
the old gentleman was in the state oi
nervousc collapse and could not have un-
derstood the nature of the transaction
The property in question is valued al
5000
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-10

\ The tickets for the Canton Augusta
lalr We're issued, yesterday, and are
meeting with ready sale. The pros
poets seem to point to the most sue
cessful event of the kind in the history
OF this organization. An attractive pro-
gram is being arranged for each of the
three evenings. Among the attractions
are the following: Henry II. Waite. vio-
linist; Hanson & Newell. comedy accro-
bats; Bell K Richards, musical artists;
Wally Clark. German comedian. In
addition to this array of talent all of
which comes from the Hub, Dennis.
Full Orchestra of 10 pieces will appear.
each evening.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-10

The Rockland Courier Gazette tells
Il story of Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Brad.
bury who have been occupying, since
last summer, the Boulder cottage i'm
Camden. Mr.. Bradbury is the son of
the late James w. Bradbury of this
city. The Courier Gazette says that
while out driving one day they discov-
cred a dilapidated house. occupied BY a
man and his wife with q very large
family of children; broken windows
and scant furnishings. The interior
presented a poor apology for a home
Almost all the ncccssarics az life were
absent. This gccnc C;r1o fn sei-nt
appeal to Mr.. BradbCry's kind neurt,
and he Immediately took measures TO
provide this family with relief. He
generously furnished liberal quanti-
ties of provisions. clothing and every
thing for their comfort, with orders
that the supplies be indefinitely con-
tinued at his expense. The house was
at once made habitable by resetting
the broken glass in the windows and
making needed repairs. The case
seems to have been neglected by the
proper authorities. Mr.. Bradbury's
action will not be forgotten
by those benefited or by the commu-
1ity
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-10
Child Worth Millions.

MY child is worth millions to me-
says Mrs. Mary Bird of Harrisburg. Pa.
yet | would have lost her by Group had
| not purchased bottle of One Minute
Cough Cure" One Minute Cough Cure
is sure cure for coughs. Group and throat
and lung troubles. An absolutely safe
cure which acts Immediately. Percy W.
Means.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-01-10
TO the NATIONAL HOME.
Eastern Branch. D. v. s., at Togus.
kENnEbEC CENTRAL R. R,

Connects at Gardiner with the NJ. C.. r..
r. and Electric Ry. to Augusta, and Ken
nebec steamboats, for Boston.
4 TIME TABLE--Winter Arrangement.
Leave Randolph: Ar; National Home:
7.22, s.o5. 1850 A. NJ ~. s25. lilo A. N.
LOO, 2.40, 40 p. NJ. 10, 800, 40 P. NJ.
Lv. National Home: Ar. at Randolph:
7.55, $50, 11.2O A. N. sis, $50, 11.40 A. M.
l.3O, 80. 500 P. NJ. l1.50, $40. $50 p. M.
Leave Randolph, 80. u.3O A. NJ, 2.a
p. NJ. Leave National Home, 1000 A. NJ.
LOO and 100 p. n. Visitors are cordially
cial attention from the Official guides On
duty, who will escort them through the
buildings and about the grounds, Whiting
the Deer Park, containing about 50 deer,
Station is open every day, where MncA.
ice cream, etc, can be procured lcr ans
number OF visitors. as accommodations
ooso business on. this, una
y. n kAWToNs Ouvt