The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1902-10-31
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
OF A BUFFER
As Recorded by F. E. Elwell
Is !3 8 a q +

7 WAS born under an unlucky star,
so had been informed by the horo-
scope writer, and there may have
been some truth in this statement.
However, l must have realized this
fact in my youth for no opportunity
was lost to set things right with my
self and the world.
1 knew it ALL
There was no one who could tell me
anything or teach me anything that I
had not heard or known before. As
look back on my youthful years am
bound to deliver myself of entire blame
because there was no one to instruct
me in the way Of truth.
My lot was cast with those who. by
their wits, earned whatever was neces-
sary for their existence. The main idea
instilled into my mind was to bluff it
out on all occasions. This was consid-
cred among those found around me as
the highest form of education
Many of our present-day politicians
have learned this lesson in the same
school, and have been able to bluff the
public out of a good deal
l was in the country one day with a
party of other kids, who had been given
an outing by some charity. A gentle
man said to me, Tommy. do you know
anything about flying kites?"
replied, "Yep; all about it."
1t crossed my mind later in the day
that would meet this same gentleman
at the Newsboys' Retreat, where l used
to go and enjoy a few hours in the
evening. 1 had learned to read in this
place, and had found the accomplish
ment Of great use to me.
For this foolish remark, which was
at once a lie, boast and a straight
bluff, was obliged to delve in the
books of the little library half the
night, and until my head fairly split
He asked me the questions all right
the next day, pinned me down to al
answer, and thought that he hat
caught me so that he could moralizt
about it, but l came up all right
looked him square in the eye, and was
ready with many answers that pleased
him. He took to me and was thu
means of my first lift in the world
Strange to say, have never forgot
ten this information and have used it {
thousand times since.
Many bluffs of this nature wer,
handled in the same way, causing al
amount of mental labor entirely I'm
necessary, but filling my mind witt
useful knowledge AS 1 grew older,
learned a little by experience but yer.
little, for there seemed always the fool
ish desire to pose as somebody ant
never admit that I did not know.
Among my associates Of my own az
it was an easy matter to bluff, but thi
did not satisfy the egotism in my nG
ture, still fancied that it was evidenc
of intellectual supremacy to pretend t
know more than l really did. This pre-
tense naturally brought me in col
tact with some higher than myself, S
that I was at times put to sore straits.
BY this time l was an expert on bluff
and had risen steadily in my position
solely as I see it now on bluff, pun
and simple.
During the period of my employment
before 1 had become one Of the firm
many interesting things occurred.
had many narrow escapes.
1t was frequently said Of me, Il
knows a lot" This fattered me grea
ly, and I actually came to believe
myself. There was a remarkable lac
Of humiliating circumstances in II
early life. I succeeded in bluffiI
through most trying conditions. 1t w
my game and I earned to play
well.
In my early business career whe
ever my bluff was found out, / simp
sought another place and general
won on bluff. pretending to kno
much. when l knew nothing / won
bluff some simple chap to tell me
much as he could about the work, al
then / would add my blum, so lit
by little, by sticking to the same bu