The Minneapolis journal., 1902-08-27
The NonpareiI Man.
Casually Observed =.


1t is difficult to see why the president
should consider the trust problem a hard
one to settle when there is E. Benz. An
dreWs standing around settling great
problems every few minutes.
Admiral Higginson should be ordered
out with the full squadron to keep Ad-
miral Crowninshield from running on
shore when he returns from Europe
Ihe 2O0-lb lady who was worn to a
shadow by long continued shopping to buy
herself clothes, and who has been rest
Ing" at the seashore this summer, will
soon be at hon1e.'
The ruins of. the campanile at Venice
have just been cleared away. Under
"On the Genial Art of Being Thorough
ly It," by T. Roosevelt will be published
in the fall. 70
A GAINESVILLE, Wis, man lost his store
teeth and had himself x-rayed under the
impression that they stood in the same
to him as the canary did to
the kitty, but. they could not be found.
Lord Wolseley says the American army
is the best in the world The Spaniards
found this out the wrong way.
/: James M. CottinghaIn, principal Of the
Benton school in KANSAS. City wanted to
speak to man on important business.
He put several cent pieces in the tele-
phone box for connections and got no
return on the investment, He was losing
time and patience, SO he asked central to
give him No. 600, the chief operator. But
600, according to Mr. Cottingham, refused
absolutely to pay any attention to his
calls. Then not the least argered, so
Mr. Cottinsham expIataps ab,tt merely IN
performance of a public .daty, he procured
an ak and snoteGthe Telephone: heavily
so that it fell to the floor. The frag-
ments he pitched out Of the window and
heaved a sigh of relief. 4 This is one way
Of abating the telephone nuisance.
-j4sf
While playing in the yard Of his fathers
house at Shakopee, Mimi, twenty four
years ago, Charlie jackson swallowed a
railroad spike. AS he was sturdy boy
Of strong digestion he thought little about
the accident at the time, and did not tell
his father for fear of whipping He
was a1ling some, however, during the win :
ter, and the doctor who looked him over
said he thought he needed a little iron.
Last week, feeling a little itching sensa-
tion in his foot he took off his stocking
and noticed a small black spot under the
skin. Using his knife, he broke the
epidermis and drew out a small tack
which he would not have recognized as
the spike of twenty four years before, had
it not had on it the trademark of the
Omaha road. The case IS considered a
very remarkable one.
+ Vancouver, B. C.-The whole party of us
including the pastor had glorious dip in
the Pacific this afternoon. The water
was warm, tempered, probably, by the
Alaskan stream and we rolled around and
disported ourselves like porpoises in the
waves. DR.. Morrill, insisted on wearing
his tall hat into the surf to prevent sun
burn and in this combination Of blue
and yellow bathing suit and stove pipe
he presented a spectacle that induced
symptoms Of acute gastritis In several
Eskimos who were ftenting near the
shore. ~ -. =,
In the afternoon we all fshed off the
rocks in the deep water, the pastor casting
fly far out over the Pacific and, to the
establishment Of everybody, hooking a
whale which greedily swallowed his bait.
The effort to land the leviathan furnished
an exciting half hour Of sport but the
pastor finally turned the trick amid the
applause of the entire party. The cap
ture weighed 10 tons. Mr. Morrill, was
photographed with the fish and intends to
have him mounted and brought home on
two freight cars. The doctor was con-
siderably swelled by the piscatorial ad-
venture and as the people gathered to in
spect the capture, he leaned negligently
against a barbed wire fence and described
how he had pulled a 47-lb pickerel out of
Minnetonka one cloudy morning, 'but
nothing like this" waving his hand to-
wards the whale, nothing like this
We shall leave for the Sound cities
Tacoma and Seattle tomorrow.