The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-11-16

Il see that me frind, Sicrety Hay, is
goin' to push Roomanya around tr
its threatment iv tn Jews" said Mr..
Dooley
Where's Roomanae?" asked Mr..
Hennessy.
Il don't know" said Mr.. Dooley IAN
Jawn Hay don't know, an nobody
knows. It's somewhere down in tn
lower vest pocket iv Europe, with tn
rest iv tn small change. But, amy
how, it's been threatin' tn Jews bad
ly-expellin thin as if they was poor
immigrants, or denyin' thin vote
as if they was Chinymen or ladies, or
takin' away their right to thrile be
jury as if they was naygurs. An
Jawn Hay is goin' to stop it. I amt
sure, how, but 1 suppose he's goin'
to hold thin up to tn contimpt Nv tn
civilized wurruld. IT'S tn aisest way
an it's good exercise. We have tn
record FIR holdin up eight-ounce ma
tions to tn contimpt iv tn wur-
ruld.'
IT don't see why we shud inther-
Hennessy. They're pretty we'll able
to help thimsilves. They're all rich"
Il see," said Mr.. Dooley, rye have
a feelin' again Jawn Hays frinds.
IT'S ye'er idee that ivry Jew is a rich
man. Maybe ye're right. Maybe all
thin Jews that lives down in Canal
sthreet. twinty in a room, is Roths-
childs. 1 suppose me frfnd Finkstein,
that comes by here ivry MOURN hol-
lerin' Rags, oil ir'n', has accumylated
a fortune, though we wudden't think
so be tn look iv his hat. Prob'ble a
great dale iV money is made by thin
scared-lookin' men that stops We at a
sthreet corner an wants to know IL
We have amy oil clothes to sell. gentle
men. They mus be large profits as a
middleman in a thransaction involvin'
a pair iv pants that cost 81 when they
were first bought an has been worn
through a picnic season an poilytl-
cal campaign. l watched wan iv thin
joynts iv finance a whole day wanst.
Out iv a total iY five hundherd propo-
sitions, he got four hundherd stony
glares, ninety-eight Go to tn divvles,'
wan pinch in tn eye, an cardigan
jacket. But he mus be rich. All Jews
ARE rich.
"Wud We like me to give We me OBJ
sarvations on tn Jews? Ye Wud-
dent? Will, I will. TIL raison tn
Jews Is all is in business is because
theyse nawth!n' e,ssw FIR thin to do.
FIR cinchries an cinchries, Father
Kelly tells me, they have been crowd
ed out iv ivrything else. They cud-
dent be sojers or politicians or law
yers or judges. But they'se wan pur-
SCOT where prejudice has no hand.
Whin a man wants to borrow money,
he niver inquiries about tn charackter
or religion iv tn fellow he touches.
He'd as lave borrow firm stranger
as a frfnd, firm bad man as a good,
firm Jew as a Christyan. He'd SOON
er. FIR he hopes not to be able to pay
it back, an not payin' back money to
Jew is a Christyan varchue. So tn
Jews become money finders. They
handed out tn roly holy to imprors
an kings who come firm wars an
pulled their teeth out But Whin III
imprors needed tn dough again, they
had to go to Nose, an Nose made
thin settle what they owed with in
Unrest. So in tn end, TIL impror hSd
tn Jews teeth, an tn Jew had tn
lmpror's money.
We'll to be a good money Under,
we have to. be sthrong at figures. le
have to be able to add up quick in
ye'er head because tn man that has
IN watch to soak hasn't time to think
~ anything but wantin' tn money
In a hurry. SO tn Jews larned fig
ures. To larn figures right, we've got
to begin arly. Ye got to get into III
habit iv thinkin figures. Ye can't
begin afther fifty whin ye'er head is
full " pothry an song. TIL Jews
start right away. AS tn pote that Ho-
gan says, they lisp in numbers. They're
taught to play with tn usury law in
IN cradle an It niver ceases to be a
TOY with thin. Whin me frind, lex
STEM, wants his son to behave, he
says: Maxey. if ye're a good BOY,
pah-pah will let We go out in tn yard
an play with tn arithmetic l wanst
Wlnt to Mary Cassidy's school to see
IN childher show off. Whin she asst
now nanny eight times iliven was, all
IN little Jew boys was red in tn face
ar snapIin' their fingers an all tn
Ittie Irish boys was thryin' to count
IL up with their lead pencils. But whin
ne asst Who won tn battle iv Bunker
nm, Jew boy thought it was Kuhn,
Loeb an Comply, but tn Irish boys
Knew who it was.
" mere they're weak is not carin' about
money. name it. A Jew cares about
INakin money A Connecticut Yankee
an Scotchman cares about money.
mere ARE no Jewsei in New England
c.hey can't make a Twin there. A
gunneetlcut Yankee wud skin a Jew
oown 10 his collar button an burn
wat WAS left iv him at IN stake as a
neretc. Tn raison fr IL is this, mind
a jew makes down town an
1pnds up town. It's aisy come aisy