The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1902-01-06
The NonparziI Man
Good for the Liver,

VI Il
nxxxx111rxxx 81,
Good for the Liver SIS. ~,
What To Eat repeats that tomatoes
rouse torpid liver Theysdo.
S Have you never seen an old gentleman, who
sports torpid liver, hit on the ear by 4.
ripe tomato thrown by little Charles, the
good boy?
If not, you may rever know how quickly
and efrectually tomato arouses torpid
liver
On the Side. s
The man who swore off is not quite SO
chesty as he was on the I'd. #s.5
1eS5sE - !4S&t'S ~
The board Of public inquiry sitting on the
hazing case Of General Miles, finds that he
was not so badly injured as was at first
stated.
stead's attempt to have England apply for
to the United States will probably
fail this year. But we can get Oklahoma il
we manage it shrewdlyA III vi
Some populists foregathered in Kansas the
other day and adopted resolutions with the
old ring IN them, beginning: "The republicans
nave the iron heel OF oppression on the necks
OF the common people, And by the statis-
tics OF votes it seems that most Of the com"
mon people must BIO republicans themselves,
too. Isn't it awful?
Alfred Austins chummy poem to the United
States is rather gruesome affair just now.
1t is laid on tritle too thick. - .
DR.. Freeman and Miss Mary E. wilkins
were married New Years Day. No denials.
Mr.. Platt might have worn side whiskers
once, William Allen White suggests, but
he did not wear a dinky little red bow in
each one of them. -.....zs- .
People in the southwest are proposing to
the country to celebrate the centennial OF the
purchase of Louisiana in 1908 by the ad-
mission Of Oklahoma and Indian territory as
a state bearing the name of Jefferson Iii
a good idea If there is anything else In
sight, it might be veil to remember Presiz
dent Monroe. AS time goes on his name be-
comes increasingly prominent.
Too Coarse for the Farmyard.
The goat and the mule were browsing on
the lawn before the farmhouse and enjoying
little conversation between bites.
"Say," asked the goat, .'do you know any
thing about that laughing jackass?"
The mule measured with her eye the dis
lance between the support of her northern ex-
eremity and the goats ribs, but it was too
great.
mo; what about it,
"Why they say that it is a bird-lives some
where in South America I ,believe-and they
can hardly distinguish its song from that OF
some Of the members Of your family
''Our family has, as rule, good voices,
though some of them need cultivation
well, think that you are right replied
the goat. 81 have heard voices whose quail
ity impressed me more favorably-to say
nothing of their hoofs''
YES" said the mule, "the latter are likely
to impress you rather unfavorably when they
land" -.s FL
The goat winked few times with his tai
and replied that he was almost always ready
to jump when in the company of mules JUS
at this point, through the open window, ac'
companed by a loud banging at the new
piano, 1oated the VOICE of the farmer;
daughter, ster1ly assaulting the Heights O.
Song in that classic ditty How Love to Sex
My Dear Old Mother Work" When Pa heare
it start he left the barn and proceeded TO-
ward the lower forty to see how the oats were
doing in the dry season. -
my goodness exclaimed the goat, Ia
you catch that murmur?" ];
"Catch it, replied the mule, call othe
sounds are to me as silence,
Gust see her bunt that black dry good
box!' .554 H.
And that face Who'd think so much nois
could escape from SO small an area
The animals crowded. r nearer, but wer
! evidently uneasy. As the daughter took. tn
high show note of the piece with aafying yell
battering viciously at the accompaniment, tn.
! cross horse shot down theeflane with set teeth
knocking over the ,chopping block, the asa
| flew the fence like hunter, and the air JUS
! scintilated with mule hoofs.
| They met in the orchard. ,4:- -: l..
"Well, what do you think of that?'
1T seemed to get on our nerves all a
once" =
1T did indeed =.
Il don't care if that cross horse neve
comes back 5".- ..-z.-...ss q
"Do you suppose she enjoys that sound her
SELF"
| mo; she does that. to give pleasure It
Others
beg pardon?'
"To give pleasure to Others" I said.
"Oh!" .. ..... -. ..@
'Well, let's have bite of clover all aroun
and then go home. "A. I.sRusseH'
! ..E