The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1902-06-06
HIS WIFE NUMBER TWO.

woman--to death upon his plantation.
On her death bed, when too late, his
eyes were opened to the great wrong
he had done, and he begged her for
oivencss.
at is easy enough to forgive" she
gasped, ''but my forgiveness will not
cause your coming punishment to be
lesscncd. l feel that you are going to
be punished on this earth" And she
turned her face away from him and
died.
The colonci's seasons of grief was
not long. He soon put on his best
clothes and showed himself at hog
killings and Other places of amuse-
ment. His friends were shocked, but
said nothing. Soon there came into
the neighborhood a graceful woman,
Antoinette Polworth. The colonel
met her and was charmed. He called
on her. She received him kindly and
eventually they were married.
Six months of almost unbroken
happiness flew away, but now the
colonel's face wore an anxious appear
ance. His wife was not so fair as she
had been, and the colonel had discover
cd that the waving hair which he had
so mnch admired was sometimes at
night hung on corner of the mantel-
piece. He found, also that he had
been deceived in other ways, and the
spirit of revenge arose in his injured
breast
"Antoinette," the colonel one day
remarked, in q voice which had lost
much Of its wonted gentleness, "Caro-
line is i'll to day, and l want you to
go out and weave jeans for the negroes.
l get good price for the stuff, and l
cannot afford to see the loom standing
idle
"Well, then, don't look at it" Antoi-
n"tte carelessly answered.
The colonel nibblcd his lip and
stcrnly said,-
"Woman, wan, none of yonr foolish
ness
Don't have it, then
II won't. Go out there and weave,
or you'll feel the ungentle force of re-
tributive authority"
Antoinette laughed The colonel
took hold of her nose and gave it a
turn as though he would unscrcw it.
Antoinette put aside stocking she
had been darning, knocked the colonel
down with lightninglikc slap, put
one foot under him, threw him across
the room. sat down and resumed her
peaceful occnpatinn After awhile
the colonel sat up and gazed at her
iE astOnishmcnt.
"Antonettc," he said fccbly.
What, dear p
"You reedn't weave
"Thank you, dear"
"1ou have convinced me that wo-
man should have some rights, but say,
how did you do it? Where did you
acquire the facts which you have just
embodied into such unaswcrable argu-
ment p
Colonel, pardon lne FOR not sooner
telling-you. For many years l was
the cannon-ball woman and the iron
jawed woman in the circus. Don't
get excited, dear | shall not give
you another exhibition until you at
tempt to get divorce from me. Then
I will take you up in my teeth and
shake you"
The colonel went out, leaned on a
horse block and groaned. His first
wife 5 prediction was verified.
On the railway train 4 well-dressed
young lady was tenderly holding a
very small poodle.
MADAM" said the brcakman, 'I'm
very sorry, but you cant have your
dog in this car
Il shall hold Kim in my lap all the
way" she replied, "and he will dis
turb no one"
THAT makes no difference said
the brcakman. II couldn't allow my
own dog here. Dogs must ride in the
baggage car I'll fasten him all right
for YOU
"Don't touch my do-, sir T. said the
young lady. II will trust him to no
ONE And with an indignant air she
marched to tue baggage car, tied her
dog, and returned. About fifty miles
further on, when the brakeman came
along again, she asked him:
"Will you tell me if my dog is all
right p
IL am very sorry,' said the brake
man, politely, ''but you tied him to a
trunk, and he was put out with it at
the last station
"Captain,' remarked the nuisance
on shipboard who always asks foolish
questions, "what is the object in
throwing the anchor overboard?'
"Ioung man. replied the old salt.
"do you understand the theory of seis-
mic disturbances Well, We throw
the anchor overheard to keep the
ocean from slipping away in the fog.
500 ?"