Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1902-01-08

90 -
PARROT HEARD FROM AGAIN.
Jack Parrot seams to get along
furstrait in Washington, thoe he
hez not yet taken hiz plais ez NAVY
hisstoryen. he'd anu,her long letter
from him yesterday, from witch l send
yu the. follering ekstrakts:
''K0ngress hez konveand agen, and
IL Citing into shaip to attak the SIR
plus. witch il the moast impoartent
wurk befoar it. A prominent kon.
gresham told me tibet thar wuzzent
no dout abOwt the surplus being
doomd, but thar waz so menny waze
of doirg it tibet it mite talk sum time
to beside witch waz the shurest way
and the one tibet wood Civ moast of
the kongressmen a chans to git sum
OF the plumber fer hiz deestrickt. Ez
yu probably no the latter il the OBJ
jekt of awl troo craftsmanship now
adaze. Thar waz a time when a stats.
man waz supposed to devoat hiz time
to looking owt fer the intrests of the
hull kountry, but we hev got past tibet
soodymentery staig of craftsmanship
now. The thing to do now IL to furst
git a big surplus, then divide it up.
The man hoo CTS the moast Of it fer
biz deestrikt. Is the boss STATESMAN,
and if the kontrakts. ar distribewted
iewdishusly the kongresman IL shewr
of re-elekshun. The river, q id har-
Dor bill il q purity good instrooment
fer lansing the treshury and redoosipg
the swelling kawsd by the afoarmen-
shend surplus. It il nifty poor dee
strikt tibet haint got crick of sum
kind tibet kin be magny6de into a
river fer the perpusses of this bill
Then thar il publik billings, witch
will win the kongressmen the favers
of hull villaijes at wons.
Jest now the kanal bill il befoar
the hows. This bill wood crafty re-
docs the surplus, but sum of the kon-
gressmen ar in dowt abowt it, kaws
the ralerodes may not like it, and it
il nifty bad luck fer a kopgressm an
to step On q ralerode magnaits toas.
The atturnyjenerel Of Minnesota il
hear to sea if he kin git the soopream
koart to do ennything abowt the rale-
rode murjer kais. He sesms to be in
urnest, but the chanses ar agin him.
Under the admirrabel sistem of leagal
prosedewr befoar tibet koart he will
hev to run so menny chanses tibet he
il lyabel to git nockd owt sumwhares.
Furst he will hev to watch fer q chans
to git befoar the koart, then he will
hev to file a petishun to git leev to
ask fer sumthipg to be dun. The rale-
rode attorneys will then file an OBJ
jekshun in the way of ne plus ultra,
or pluribus unum, or sum uther owt-
landish naim. I amt poasted on thoas
forrin wurds tibet the lawyers ews, but
ez nobody erstands them emmy
way one .wurd il e. good ez anuther.
Well, then thay will argew fer long
time, and then a kommishun will be
appinted TO- eks amin into the kais..
After thay hev taken a let of testy-
mony thay will 60 awl oaver it and
tangle it up so tibet no one kin under
stand; what it awl IT,: abowt. Then
thay will repoart to the koart, witch
will then beside wether or not to Civ
the stats attorneys cbans to: tell
what thay want tithay git leev thay
will then ask fer an injunkshun, to
witch the. ralerode atturnys will on
dowtedly reply with q Dickskomeraus
or sumthipg of tibet soart, klaiming
tibet the injunkshun skeam hez bin pre-
emted by the korporashun to be ewsd
by them in keaping THAR laberers from
getting too risky. puglass will prob
badly kom back at them, with polly
voofransy, and lhay. will be, jawing
fer sum time. Then the koart will,
talk the kais under advizement. Ez
the soopream koart hez newer kept q
kais fer mosr then one 5jennerashun.
1t will be ssif to bet thet:t this kais will
be desided befoar The: middel of this
sentury = s;=s 81 / II
~ smsafrade. Jack il sumwhnt miksd
on hiz law TURNS, bnt he seams to hev'
the fakts awlrite this time. The rale-s
rodes will ondowtedly ews every pos.
sibel trick to keap the kais from being:
desfded befoar thay hev fiksd things
/. SCOT thems eivs, #onless- thsy ar
shetEE.thet the skaisswiI u be- d.sided in
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''oasss elI'c'tEsrs: