New-York tribune., 1902-06-13
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

J, W. Lewis. Of Paris. Tenn. who is making a
canvass for the Democratic nomination to Con-
gress is something OF ant-imperialist. may
be inferred from the following outhurst in his
speech the other day AdamsvilIe. Tenn:
The American army marched into the town Of
sanar and killed ten thousand innocent women
and children. The American bullets pierced the
mothers hearts as their innocent infants were
being Iulled sleep their mothers breasts. and
instead OF sucking milk they sucked their mothers
blood
The editor OF The Daily Bread wheeled around
in his chair and spoke to the new musical critic
you do this wrteup of last nights concert?"
You speak of the. audience drinking in the mar
yT1as strains riT Of % the great orchestra How can
I suppose it might be done with a Rubinstein.
Tribune
A dispute recently arose at a beer table in Ger
many between a group of university men 10
which science the Oldest representative Of
the law declared that IL Jurisprudence. for this
science must have been known in Paradise. seeing
that Adam and Eve were evcted therefrom
Why said a graduate of medicine. medicine is
certainly of older date. Just think of the opera
ton that Adam had to submit TO in order that
rib should be obtained for Eve NO. no. gentle
men," retorted electrotechnCian for before
anything was created God said. Let there be
lightr" " Then came the theologian. who said: Il
do not want TO appear presumptuous. out L think
that precedence belongs to theology, for before It
light it was-dark!'
Krankleigh-Naw, don't like my new nelghbor-
hood at all. Every man on the streets cad.
Sharpe-Gou don't say?
lar Who f5Rt 1T to 1--we live there at an " p'
Sharpe-Strangei that's what all the other neigh
bors say.-Philadelphia Press.
The Kansas City Journal" says:
DIR. Z. Benjamin Andrews ectured before the
graduating class OF the Topeka High School the
other night. and Topeka is in a state of great
excitement. In the course Of his remarks the
doctor told five stories in each of which occurred
the word damn knowing that Topeka refuses
to stand for expletves of such vigorous char
acter Once in Topeka man was defeated for
Sheriff because he said Gosh all flinders. and for
a time Congressman Curtis under suspicion be-
cause in a moment of great anger he said Con
found such ars!'
Hubby's Little -wife-what.s the matter? !?
Husband-Some one has been robbing the firm
and I'm afraid I'll be suspected.
Wife-Impossiblel
HusbandIWell, it's best to be on the safe side
ing me about.-(New-York Weekly.
P H. Harrison of Manchester. N H. is com
piling a history of battle flags of this country.
especially of those carried in what he incidentally
calls The Brothers Quarrel" in 1S6l-65.
Mrs. Greene-NItss. Black and that Brown girl
made themselves lem ridculously prominent at the
Mrs, White-For merGys sake. what did they do?
evening listening 10 the music and never passed
word between them-(Boston Transcript
George c. Hume lawyer of Chiffon. Wis. is
about to receive unique honor. He will be made
chief of the Brothertown Indian nation Mr.. Hume
aided the Indians gratutously in filing proofs of
the validity of their claims against the govern
ment and in return they have elected the lawyer
TO the chieftainship OF the nation. He will accept
the office is merely nominal one and will not
interfere with his other duties. The Brothertowns
still maintain their ancient tribal relations. though
they are amenable to the laws of the United States
Sure To Be Prejudiced-Friend-D look so
blue You have a good
Jimson-No use. III lose. l know III lose
Every man on that jury either rented bought a
house of me when l in the real estate bust
ness.-(New-York Weekly.
One of Lord Salisburys pet anecdotes is the
story of the barber of Portsmouth whom he had
occasion TO patronize years ago. This ton
sorial artist dd not fall to recognize his distn-
guished patron, for the latter. passing the shop
a few days later, gratfed to observe placard
In the window bearing this inscription: Hair cut
Sd. With the scissors 1 cut Lord Sails
bury's hair, Cd"
. One OF the weekly papers has just made start
llng discovery with regard TO the veterans of the
Italian War OF independence Garibadi sailed
from Cluerto with one thousand men, and OF these
one thousand, we told thousand two hun
cred sun survive and draw their pensions regu-
4arIh At. was bloodX. .yictoEy.n-Londo Globe.