Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1902-11-15
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''She smiles SO sweetly when one
sends her bouquet" Yes! Confound
1t! No matter who sends itw-Puck.
Politician = Congratulations, Sarah.
I've been nominated" Sarah with de-
light-"Honestly." Politician-"What
difference does that make?"
Painless dentistry: did your dem
fist hurt you much?" mot Ibis time;
his charges were very reasonable
Cincinnati Commercial-Trib
You asked her father for her hand?'
Yes" And he refused you?" mo,
he didn't. He said l could have both
of EN-. Cleveland Plain Dealer
Hicks-"Did you get a peaceful rest
in camp that you expected?" Wicks-
NO; YOU sec, we sat up all night play
ing jokes on one another. "-Somerville
lMassD Journal.
Tommy--"Pop, what is an average
man" Father 49, AN average man,
my son. is one who feels that he is
a little better than his neighbors. -
Philadelphia Record.
a little angel: Mother Willie,
hope YOU never do anything so wicked
as to tie tin cans TO dogs tails" Willie
Nom. never do nothin' but hold
the dog. Detroit Free Press.
She 10 returned warrior, enthusias.
ticaily)-"And l suppose you almost
lived ON horseback out thcrcl" He
We'll, yes, toward the end of Lady
smith we did. Ii makes rather decent
up."-Punch.
what is the difference between a
monologue and Il dialogue, pa?" "a
monologue, my son, Is mans wife
talking to him, and dialogue is his
wife and her mother talking TO him"
Town Topics
Scheme That Failed-Tom 0easinglyl
Would you be sorry 10 hear that /
am going to marry Edyth?" Mayme
Indeed | should" Tom-"Why?"
Because really like Edyth."
Chicago News.
II suppose, In the collecting bust
ness" said the inquisitive man, near
ly every man you so to see asks you
to call again" Asks me?" replied the
collector. Some OF them dare me-
Philadelphia Press.
Modern science Weary Willie,
please, num- can't you give poor
man some breakfast?" Mrs. GIVEN.
nit-"Certainly. After you saw that
wood you may eat the sawdust. Ii
makes fine breakfast food."-Bx.
parson JobsOn-"Ah wants ter speak
ter yo, deacon, erbout de habit yo' has
OBJ goin' ter sleep In chu'ch. 1t wor-
ries me-" Deacon Jackson---"0h, doan'
let II worry yo', pahson; All alters
leaves nah p0cket-book ut home, yO'
w."--Judge.
Pound of flesh: Flnancier tenant Of
our forest, after weeks unsuccessful
stalking)-"Now, look here, my man.
| bought and paid for ten stays. IL
the brutes can't be shot, you'll have 30
trap them! I've promised the venison,
and mean to have ltp'--Punch.
Hello, Bob, got back from
your vacation? Had good time this
summer Robert should say
had. suppose you haven't heard
found nice little wife mp in the noun
tains." Richard--"Did you find out
who lost her?"-Boston Transcript
The Inquistive Visitor stopped Mt the
editors desk. And do you file al
the communications that come inn" he
asked, interestedly. mot all of Them"
replied the editor, pleasantly; "onIY
those that need their English polished
up" 49, Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The librarians humor: What" we
ask of the librarian, do you suppose
is the greatest library book In the world
the book that Is In the most de-
mand?" "Carnegie's bank book" he
respond confidently. without looking mp
from his work.--BaltimOr American.
He died in town this summer. Dur
ing his last Illness his wife nursed him
over the telephone from Newport; his
doctor treated him by telegraph from
Bar Harbor; and letter, written from
the top Of the Alps by his clergyman,
was read over him at the funeral
Life.
Il have come" he began address
ing her father, Toto suggest to yOu
that a union Of our families would"
I'm not In favor Of unions" the testy
old Captain Of Industry interrupted,
and ! will not submit the matter 10
arbitration. Good morning "--Chlcago
Record Herald.
Miss Kamra Feend--"I'd like TO take
photo Of your farm hand at work"
Farmer BrOwn--"All right--ef yew hin
spare the time" Miss Kamra FeeDd
-"Ob, this camera will catch him In
Just one-twentieth Of second" Far.
mer Brownies; but itH take We two
hours tew ketch him workin."-Judga
'Is this a commission house?" asked
the tall man. Yes, sir" said the com
mission merchant. What can we de
for your "WelI, il you sell commits.
sions, I'd like TO buy one, IL they're nor