The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-07-31

mas three little shavers. "-Ex.
4oungman-I wonder what's the best
way to find out what a woman thinks
OF you? Henpeck-Ma her.-pb;la-
delphia Press.
Dawson-Bjenks is a great believer
In rate, isn't he? Lawson Yes. he has
to blame his incompetency on some
thing.-Somerville Journal.
An Insinuation. Flora-Yes. | sing in
a church where they have an awfully
small congregation. Dora-Then why
don't you stop singing ?-Philadelphi
Bulletin.
Mrs. Swellman-I dreamed last night
that l was with box party at the
opera. Mr.. Swellman-I wondered why
you were talking SO loud in your sleep.
Philadelphia Press.
Miss Eastside-That is lovely
gown, but haven't l seen it before?
Miss Westside-No, think not; have
only worn it at few smart affairs this
season-Town and Country.
1T says here, Samantly, tibet Rever-
end Toogood was saloon passenger
on the Majestic. Beats all how them
preachers do cut up when they git
away from hum. Judge.
Arthur-Yes. think Minnie loves
me very much. She's dear girl; she
has large heart Harry-A heart like
London omnibus: always room for
one more.-Boston Transcript.
Clergyman Qately come to PARISH
Your neighbor. Smith. says my SER
mons are rubbish. Farmer-Ah, We
needn't mind i'm, sir; 'e's a mouth
piece for other folks.ATit-B
Flossie-I'm afraid. Bridget. that
mamma is dissatisfied with you.
Bridget Is she, nows Faith. thin,
she'll soon have a chance TO be dissat-
isfied wit somebody else!-Puck.
Inducements Held Out Harriet
What shall say In the advertisement
for a cook? Harry-Well, say that we'll
take her with us to any summer resort
she may prefer.-Detroit Free Press.
Nothing to Show. 'What Is your ma.
tivity?" asked the magistrate. II amt
got any, y'r honor" said the biear-eyed
inebriate, feeling In his pockets; 1.-THE
police took everything had"-Chicago
Tribune.
She-You wouldn't mind saying this
over again tomorrow, would you,
dearie? l am member OF the NJ. r.
ID. c. Club. why. what does that
meanY' Moonlight proposals don't
count."-Life.
Convincing Proof: May-l nad no
idea before last night that Mr.. Piicher
was man of such lofty ambitions and
exalted ideals. Maud-HOw did you
come to find it out? Maybe proposed
to me.-Bazar.
Mother-There were two apples III
the cupboard, Tommy, and now there
ia only one. HOw's that? Tommy iwho
sees no way of escape)-Well. ma, il
was so dark In there l didn't see the
other one.-Glasgow Evening Times.
"Win you please raise. my salary"
"Why, gave you raise only last
week. because you told me that you
had your mother to support i know,
but nv mother got married and now 4
have two to support" state Jour
nal.
Robbie-You know them preserves
out in tn pantry wot you told me not
70 eat? Mother-Yes. Bobbie-You
know you said they'd make me SICK II
Of 'em. didn't you? Mother-Yes.
Bobbie-Well. they didn't-ohio state
Journal.
"Belinda, your brother George tells
mo that Won were sitting on that little
Mr. Thomkins' knees last evening. is
q true?, "Yes, papa; but I'm sure you
nil, forgive me. 1t was just one OF
those little moral lapses. you know.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
,luaddock-I met poor old Auyns
creeping towards his office to-day, anu
no complained bitterly Of being all run
down this spring. lubbock defensive
-ly,-well, confound him, he had NC
business getting in front OF an AUTO
mobile. Bazaar.
Tho Floor Walker: First Cierk--foor
lin, 1t will be long time befose ne
GETS another place. Second oierh
Don't you believe 1t. Why he soi
$50 as door walker First Clerk
yan don't say SO? Second Cierk-fes'
he,s got a new baby.-Jndge
Mr.. williams Fanny's admirers
vour sistah going to the seaside 'n'
snnmar Tommy? Tommy-That al
ouh'-N-' hoa I'd mo say IL