The Iola register., 1902-02-21
A YANKEE
EXPEDIENT
toriginal.1


the United States, took up bacteriology
as study, for he was rich, and, after
absorbing what was known about
germs at home, decided to go to Berlin
and learn what was known in the
land of Koch, Virchow and other re-
nowned original hunters for the tiny
enemy of man and beast. In the midst
of his investigations the panic Of 1893
came on and swept away every ves~
tige of his fortune.
DIR. Iglehart was as cool headed a
man as ever America produced. On
learning of his misfortune he filled a
pipe, placed his heels on the table and
calmly considered what to do. He had
not even the means to go home; be-
sides, he had not finished his studies
in the German field of bacilli. What
could be done? The doctor thought all
day and as the evening was coming on
| took his heels from off the table,
knocked the ashes from his pipe and
muttered to himself, "I'll try it."
Arraying himself in evening dress,
he sailed forth to a cafe patronized by
the higher class of Berllners and
where were often to be found sprigs Of
the nobility. Casting a glance over the
dining room as he entered, he espied
the young Count Heinegrund, an Off
Ger of the Garde du Corps, sitting at n
table dining with several companions.
| DIR. Iglehart chose table near to this
young man and ordered his dinner.
! While he was waiting for it he amused
himself watching the men ut the adj
| Joining table and listening to their
| conversation. Indeed, so pronounced
was his ogling, especially at the count,
that the young officer scowled at him,
with the remark, II will pig stick you"
an expression common in Germany to
denote n ripping up of ones interior.
| This led to n cool retort from the doc
tor who threw his card on the enemy's
table and left the room.
At midnight Prince Almenach, repre-
| senting Count Heinegrund, called at
DIR. Iglehart's rooms and was informed
| that the doctor was not at home. The
prince called again at 8 o'clock and
was informed that the doctor could
not be seen before 10. At 10 the call
|
mitted and shown into an anteroom
full of people waiting He demanded
to see the doctor at once and attempt
ed to force his way through n door to
an adjoining apartment, but was kept
In check by a stout Irlshman, who
wore the Doctors livery that morning
for the first time. The prince seated
himself and waited, fercely twirling
his mustache, while patient after pa
tient was admitted to the doctors Of
fee. Meanwhile, glaring about the
anteroom, the prince saw the doc
tors framed medical diplomas and let
ters from the most celebrated bacteri-
ologists. When he had cooled, he no.
ticed that the waiting patients were
many of them known to him.
1t was IL o'clock when the doctor
hastily entered the room with Prince
| Almenach's card in his hand and, rush.
ing up to his "serene transparency"
burst forth:
"Ah, prince, pardon this unfortunate
blunderl This stupid son of Erin
should have given me your card at
once. Instead Of that, he placed 1t on
a side table. l perceived it only a mo-
ment ago when | went there to get an
instrument. Come into my consulting
room at once"
The prince followed the doctor and,
upon being seated, was invited to state
the object of his call. When he had
done so, the doctor said:
"This Is very unfortunate. fear my
tongue got away with me. However,
presume | must give the count salts
faction. But | must ask slight de-
lay. | have been telegraphed for to at
tend member of the imperial family
at Vienna (of course his imperial high
ness would not permit me to divulge
his name), and | will take great pleas
ure in satisfying the count on my re-
turn-that is, If he will not accept an
apology"
The prince was so pleased at the doc
tors cordial reception and so Impress
ed with his professional Importance
that he volunteered to do what he
could to effect a settlement.
Upon leaving the cafe the evening
before DR.. Iglehart had gone to the
Office OF small newspaper patronized
almost exclusively by the aristocracy
and inserted the following advertise
ment:
"Upon calling at No. --strasse
any person of good education will be
put into possession of the means of
earning thousand marks year
without being known in the field Of
labor. Only members of titled fam
lilies need apply
The arlstocrats who applied the next
morning did not care to tell what
they had called for, all preferring to
admit that they were suffering from a
diseased liver and that they had come
to the great specialist for treatment.
The doctor proposed to make them
agents on commission for q microbe
| I.Ilo.. nacn.. AI...- nll dL.nli.,nd