West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-10-02
ARIZONA KIcKLErs.

ARIZONA KICKLETS.
Some Interesting Items from the Great.
est Newspaper sf the Ssuthwest.
Jim Mccoy outran an avalanche on Dog
mountain the other day which vas moving
at the rate Of q mile minute. aud he does
no, expect to get his breath back before
November.
Giveadam Gulch nov boasts Of sixteen
kerosene lamps to light It's public stree, aud
even drunken man can Ind his way around
corners
There is room in this territory for s.ooo,-
600 eolored people and 10000. 600 water
melons but for some reason or other the
boom doesn't set in.
A Chicago party who was here last week
TO see abou, establishing street car line
went home discouraged lie found ell the
saloons eongregaied ON an area OF three
blocks and no one wanted 10 travel in any
other direction.
They are a siouehy lot ovei At Lone Jack.
They tried to hang man the other day with
log chain. being too lazy to hun, up rope
and of course the thing was failue aud
the fellow took to the woods and escaped.
A bug cinnamon bear was seen near the
bridge over Wolfe creek day or two ago
by the mail carrier aud the snimai looked as
IL he wouldn't object TO few picnic parties
10 begin the season on.
In one way and smother since our arrival
in this territory ten yesn ago we have pick
ed up no less than fourteen gold and silver
mines and 40. 600 acres of desert lands and
II any wideawake chap wants to grow up
with the country we are prepared to offer
him show. A red necktie and a psir OF
russet shoes will be taken in full payment.
Three weeks ago we bought an Indian
blanket TO send to On eastern museum Of
natural history as relic. We had Il put to
boil in a kettle and il was boiled for sixteen
days and nights, bu, on taking il out the
other day we found I, still active and decid-
ed not TO send il. An Indian and his blanket
should never be parted.
II is an early date bu, we desire to an
nounce that we will entertain propositions TO
deliver Fouih of July ora,ious anywhere
within fifty miles Of this town when the
glorious day arrives. One thing sbou, our
Fourth Of July oraiions Is the fact that no
fireworks are needed in the evening and our
lofty fights Of ora.oy increase ihes general
thirst so per cent.
Brother Smith Of the Blue Hill Eagle lie
rang us up by telephone the other day and
called us liar aud conceited ass, and yet
when we rode over the next day to have II
out with him he retired to the pine ,hickets
in the rear of his Office and could not I've in
duced to come oui until we had started for
home There is such thing as editorial
courtesy. even in the bsckwoods.
Old Joe Burton went over to Eagle Hill
the other day to Try the efsc, Of a dynamite
bomb on den Of rst,Iesnskes and old Joe
wa. brought into town aud buried yesterday.
He made slip somewhere. but il was no
use TO ask for explanations when they found
him.
We had call the other day from Chief
Big Moon, an Apache who used TO he in the
scalp lock business for all il was worth. but
who has now gone into the business Of lend.
ing money 10 the rest Of the tribe at 90 per
cent interest, with two indofsers. lie says
lie rather likes the change, as II doesn't
keep him awake nights.
About The only agriculture we have in
this vicinity is confined to the cactus plants
and jack rabbits. hut IL any eastern man
thinks he can make 60 OF II asa depart
m-nt FOR The Kicker we arc ready TO pay
him salary Of S. per week and advance
him as tho pumpkins begin to rpen.
There is not the slightest doub, in our
mind that The Kicker has larger circula-
ton Than ell the other newspapers in the
world put together, but yet should anyone
doubt the fact enough TO call us liar our
feelings would not be greatly pefturbed.
We positively refuse 10 get excited over our
circulation. It's bad for the general system.
II our esteemed contemporary insists that
he followed US for three blocks the other
evening and fred Twelve bullets At US. we
are not going TO dispute bis word. Al we
can say is that none Of tho bullet. came
within ten feet Of us and that II we heard
the reports Of his gun we laid il 10 some
boys prscticing al target with bean shoot
er. We do not wish to ROB any man of any
honor due him bu, we do hate to see good
cartridges wasted.
II was our happy privilege yesterday 20
be able TO inform Mr.. Joseph Hastings Of
lowa, that his missing son James vas laid
a~ay in our town grave yard four months
ago after he had fred thre, shots Al the city
Marshal with inientto kill We extended
the coufiesies II the town TO the inquIrine