The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1902-12-18
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-Leslies Weekly.
Advice to Suitors.-Before you pop
the question you'd better question pop
Princeton Tiger.
''Is that my umbrella you have?"
Most likely. Just bought it in a pawn.
shop"-Kristianstad Bladet.
Browne-"He's in love with him.
self" Towne-"He'll never feel the
pangs of jealousy. Town and Coun.
try.
theater party is mistake. If the
play is interesting, the people bore you;
if the people are interesting, the play
bOres you.-Life.
Mother-"How do you like your new
teacher?" "Oh, she's a splendid teach
er. She don't care whether we know
our lessons or not"
Shelby little brother will not both
er us tonight" He-"That's good.
Waen does the funeral take place ?'-
Chicago Daily News.
Vol Blumer (roaring)-"Who told you
to put this paper on the WALTZ" Deco
rator--"Your wife, SIR" Won Blumer
-"Pretty, isn't it?-Bazar.
First Boy-'Dat kid thinks he knows
lot about baseball" Second Boy
Jaw, he don't know de difference be-
tween a score card an an Injunction
Muffled at Nine-Thirty.-Fu
at Wellesley you can't call on a girl
after 9:3O." Cusser-"Gee! They must
be a lot Of curfew belles.''-Harvard
Lampoon.
Nod-"How did you manage to keep
that burglar in the dining-room until
the police Gamer" Todd-"Easy enough.
l told him l could beat him at ping
pong. Life.
Passenger-"I don't see why you fell
lows can't call out the stations palmer"
Guard-'My dear sir, we are train
guards, not trained elocutionists. -
Chicago News.
But, father" replied the erring son,
you know every young fellow has to
sow his wild oats" YES" answered
the father, but you ought to know when
you have big enough crop in"
Ma-"Willie, what's your little broth
er crying for?' Wiliie-"Aw! just be-
cause he don't want to learn anything.
| just took his candy and showed him
how to eat t."-Philadelphia Press.
Customer think you should begin
to charge me half price, Shears, there s
SO little to cut now" Barber-"OthN.
way on, sir, fancy. We ought to charge
double. Look at the trouble have to
find itw-Punch.
Buff-"Have you no memento of your
mother-in-law, who came to so sudden
an end in African" Duff-"No, worse
luck. We only succeeded in getting
photograph of the cannibal that ate
her."-New York Sun.
Mrs. Seever-"I see you have fine
copy of Browning. l suppose you adj
mire Browning" Mrs. Twight-"So
much so, that l never open the book.
wouldn't haFe it spoiled for the
world. boston Transcript.
The Adorer--"It's wonderful old
man, what love will enable a man to
see in girl that he never saw be-
fore" The Onlooker-"No doubt! But
it's equally wonderful what it won't
let him see that he'll see later"
Curious thing about man with
watch is that if you ask him two sec.
onds later what time it is, he never re-
members. He has to look at 1t again."
Yes; I've noticed that he'll always do
tiff his watch is a fine one" -Chica-
go Tribune.
His Useless Life WOrk.-"Yes, l con-
slider my life a failure" "Oh, Henry,
how sad! Why should you say that?"
II spend all my time making money
enough to buy food and clothes: but the
food disagrees with me, and my clothes
don't fit''-What to Eat.
The proprietor of a German menag-
erie keeps Gagged together lion, tiger,
wolf and a lamb, which he labels
THE Happy Family When asked
confidentially how long these animals
had lived together, he answered: Ten
months, but the lamb has to be re-
newed occasionally"
Maude-"Charlie Virgins sent me a
handsome mirror for a birthday pres
emit" Clara-"That accounts for the
funny question he asked me the other
evening" Maude-"What did he ask
your Clara-'If a woman ever got
too old to be pleased with a looking
glass. News.
An Item in Demand.-He was cutting