Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1902-12-23

It's there make my daily bread
/ Town and Country.
Grandma So that is your parrot. my
dear. Ethel-Yes, grandma; but papa
says we'd better sell Kim now that
you've come to live with us.
Why, LaroId. I'm surprised. You
should wait until the blessing is ask
ed" Il did ask mine'' You didg"
Yes; and God said Go aheadr
Life.
Glass in history: Teacher-Jamie,
can you tell me why Llpcoln is called
the martyr President? Jamie-'Causa
he has to stand for all the Lincoln sto-
ries.-Ex.
So you are going to get AN automo-
oneg Yes" answered che man who
is always thinking of his health; "the
doctor says l must walk more
Washington Star
Mrs. ForFyodd-A manI is as old as
he feels, but woman is las old as she
looks. Mr.. Oldbeau-Reslly. madam.
that doesn'a apply to your case, I'm
sure.-Chicago Daily News
The Browning clubs of Boston: do
you still read Browning in Boston?'
"oh. dear, no. We all learned him
by heart long ago. We merely dis
cuss him now."-Chlcago Record Her
| AID
Dorothy-Say. auntie, is religion
something to wear? Aunt Julia-My
dear, why do you ask such foolish
questions? Dorothy-Cause papa said
you used your religion for n cloak
Judge.
Fuddy-Tlere is one thing about
Flanders that l like lie never has
anything to say about his aches and
pains Daddy-No: but he's all the
time Dragging about bis splendid
health.-Boston Transcript
Miss Ascum-W Wasn't that Mr. Bonds
saw you walking with last EVENING"
Miss Coy-Yes. Miss Aseum- HE'S a
landed freebooter of the county. isn't
he? Miss Coy (hlushingl- Weli-er-he
isn't quite landed Philadelphia
Press
She was q teacher in one of the
lower classes, ard she was trying to
remind the young scholar Of the letter
r. Now, Tommy. what comes at tho
end of dinner?" "Oh, yes ping- pong!'
shouted Tommy, joyfully Yonkers
| Statesman.
Tourist-DG these racing automo-
Oiles give You farmers much trorSble2
Native-No end NV it! It's got so now
that when we see n dark, funeral
shaped cloud approaching we don't
know whether to run fer ii gun or
cyclone cellar!-Puck
Forgot himself: Mrs ueupeck- We
| hev bin married twenty years to-day,
Hiram. Hiram with sigk)-Yes; fer
twenty years we've fougbt-- Mrs.
Henpeck (scowling) WhatJ You old
wretch Hiram (Gaicklyl--Iife' bat
ties together, Mirandy.-Judge.
No call for leisure: What you back
TO work, Pete? When SAW you fall
off the building yesterday never ex-
pected TO see you work again" II
fought dat. too, boss. But NAH wife
done let NAH accident assurance ex-
piah last week indianapolis News.
First Comedian-Did you score hit
with your new speciality Second
Comedian Did /? Why the audience
gazed in open mouthed wonder before
was half through. First Comedian
Wonderful! 1t is seldom that an en-
tire audience yawns at once,-Chicago
Daily News.
Are you the defendant?" asked a
man In the court room. speaking TO an
old negro "No. boss was 1.-The reply.
Il amt done nothing to be called
names like that. Use got Il lawyer
here who does the defensng" Then
who are you?} Use the gentleman
what stole the chickens
Education, said the iunDassloned
orator, begins. at home That's
where you're of" said the calm spec
tator; lit begins in the Kindergarten.
is continued In the boardii1g-school.
football field Paris. London, and Wall
street, and ends in either Sing Sing or
Newport Life.
Cholly proudIy)-By Joye! I'm quits
professor of swimming, don't you
know. l taught Mabel Galley how to
swim in two lessons. Jack-Gadl That
was quick thTow-down. CnoIly I'm
dignantly)-Wh6t do you mean? 5ack
Why, she let me giyo her ten lessons
before she learned. -Brooklyn Life.
''The new raifr.ad has been a great
blessing to us" says n rural exchange;
"ln less than six. weeks we got enough
damages out of IT to build town hall
and grade the cemetery. A few more
enterprises Of this kind. and cur town
viii rise to heights undreamei OF in
the history of Few settlemenfsP'-At-
lanta Constitution.
Easily Explainad Nurse (os insane
asylun)-I can't make out what ais
THAI new patiens. She keeps scream
ing, Mondays 81 January. first and
third Thursdays: Sunday afternoons,
SECOND and fourth Wednesdays. Tues
day evenings in February" and things
like that. House Doctor That's ezrsy.
She's society woman te'ing TO keep
track of her frie9ds reception days
Judge.
Eciepce: "Wasn't II a terrifying ex-
perlence," asked Els friend. ''wten you
lost your foothoAl and went sliding
down the mountain sldeT 1T was ex-
citing out extremely interesting" aaiC
the college professor; II could net help
noticing all the way down with what
absolute accuracy / was following
along che line OF least resista1ce."-
Chicago Tribune