Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1902-12-23

Press. and as she was carefully making
her way along Michigan avenue In front
Of the City hall middle-aged man whose
Madam, there is no use in mincing
along after this fashion. II you are des-
Il won't II can help it," she replied
as she tried to get firmer hold with her
feet.
"But fate Is fate" he continued IF II
this day and date you were to go down
with a lang nothing can save you-not
even sand or ashes. You must turn to
Sa to s1laee On, 70 do ,t,
slippery sidewalks?'
much, madam. In the first place, be
resigned to fall; in the next, prepare
to fall as lightly as possible, thirdly
stop your talking!" interrupted the
woman, as one of her feet got away from
Thirdly. madam" continued the phil
osopher as he refused to take her extend
whether you will fall or moi"
She gave a lurch and caught his arm,
and both went down with a jar that could
have been felt thirty feet away. He was
soonest up, and, picking up his hat and
helping her to her feet. he bowed and
continued:
g the idea is to bring somebody else
down with you and make him see stars
for month. Arise, madam. 1t was your
fate to go down on this day and date,
but there are ashes ten feet away and
| fate has got through with you"
He said he had an out-of-town custo-
mer to entertain. Perhaps he told the
truth; perhaps he did not. At any
rate, he broke an engagement with hi:
wife to make call, and did not &c. home
until after midnight. Of course, he made
as little noise as possible, and was soon
in bed and dreaming.
But those dreams!
place of torment He could feel flames
and hot iron applied to his skin. He
mOaned and tossed in his sleep to such
| an extent that he woke up his wife, but
she said nothing, Finally he woke up
actually burning up.
is the finish"
"Oh, l guess not" she replied.
I'm suffering the torments of the
damned he asserted.
.Perha pc you deserve 1t" she replied
Il tell you" he protested. I'm burning
up; I'm blstered. l never knew a fever
| to get a grip like this on a fellow
"Oh. it isn't fever" she returned;
''it's probably your conscience
He was suffering too much to note tine
have some relief"
Relieve your conscience, and you'll be
/
you tonight?'
Don't torture a man." he expostulated
''Wherc were you tonight" she repeat
| ed.
AT the club. But, Lizzie
| ANSWER my questions truthfully, and
| I'm sure you'll gain relief. If you dom.
III get a doctor. Did you have an out
| of-town customer there?"
What did you do?'
played poker"
what did you drink?'
Seven or eight high balls"
us that the whole truth?'
'..Oh, Lizzie. yes; but for heavens
DO you feel any better now?"
| "Well, if you'll take the mustard plas-
ter out of the pocket of your night shirt
/ l think you WILL" she answered calmly.
II told you If you'd relieve your con-
science you'd be all right"
81 see you've got a lot Of snow on your
sidewalk, ma'am," said the muffled up
| man at the kitchen door.
| Il know it," replied the woman of the
house.
"All the other folk along here have had
| theirs cleaned of"
Don't you reckon you ought to have
yours cleaned off?"
| II do"
Like to have it done. ma'am?"
We'll. III do it as cheap as anybody.
You will, will your
''Yes'm. III sweep 'em all off. front
and back. for % cents
II won't pay it,
''Then I'll do it for IS
81 won't pay that, either"
'Well, I'll do it for 1O.'
You couldn't have the job II you'd do
| it for nothing
"Why not ma'am?"
Because that's my husbands job. If
he don't do 1t those walks can stay COW
cred with snow all winter"
IF that's your husbands job, why don't
he do it?'
He hasn't got time." she snapped.
Hes downtown talking politics and saw
ing the country"
Hereupon she slammed the door in his
face.
Chicago Tribune.