davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
DECEPTIVE.

"Dey oughter pass law" said Hun
CRY Higgins, nursing his leg. ter COM
pei people ter call deir dogs be appro-
pirate names"
"Wot's de matter now?" inquired
Dusty Rhoads.
"Why, a woman down de road said
if I didn't git out O. her yard she'd call
Fido. O. course l LATED. Den she
called Fido, and Fido didn't do ting.
He was a big brindle bullv'-Chicago
Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
a Nero Matter Of Curiosity.

Il dropped asleep in the hammock,
and he came up and kissed me-"
Did he wake you up?'
"Of course. But l didn't let him
know it."
"Why notr'
"Oh, a mere matter of curiosity. l
wanted to see If he'd have nerve
enough to do it again. ."-Chicago Post.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
wouldn't Post Ems.

"Dear. dear" sighed Mrs. Nuliwed.
II suppose I'll have to take this re-
ceipted bill down to the milliner's my
SELF"
You can mail it, can't you?' asked
her husband.
mo, indeed. I've seen those large
signs stuck up, all over the city which
read, Post No Bills '"-Baltimore Her.
aid.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
A Soft Answer.

Keep yer temper, laddie. Never
quarrel WI an angry person, especially
a woman. Mind ye, a soft answers
aye best. It's commanded, and, forbye,
it makes them far madder than ony-
thing else We could say."-London Tit
Bits
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03

Papa" said little Willie, whats a
mantrap?"
Papa glanced quickly at mamma,
then dropped his eyes to his paper once
more and went on reading.-Indianap-
oils Sun
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03

The records left by the PhGnicians.
Assyrians and ancient Persians show
that among all those nations the use
OF perfumes was very common.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
A "Bird" Anyway.

Mrs. Spenders-That's what l call
"duck" Of q bonnet.
Mr. Spenders-Yes? Id call it ''pel-
lean"
Mrs. Spenders-A "pelican:"
Mr.. Spenders-Yes: on account OF the
size of the ebill-Philadelphi Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03

A @ AJOR CROtOO1, Srauu pIo-
MN moter and general organizer
3WH had just reached his Office
the other morning and was
wondering how he was going to raise
so cents for his monday lunch when
the door opened and a woman walked
in. She was large, portly woman,
and the floor trembled under her tread
as she advanced. For half a minute
the major failed to recognize her. Then
her double chin and red hair Identified
her, and he swallowed at something I'D
his throat and turned pale.
$50 I have found you at last, you
lying, deceitful manw
Her voice broke the spell. There was
q bland smile on the majors face as
he rose up and extended his hand and
called out: ..-.....
well, well, but this is certainly a
surprise and a pleasure! My dear cid
landlady, how do you do. how do you
do?'
"Oh, you remember me, do you?' she
SarCdSllCd1y QOS11So'
Remember you! Could forget the
, landlady with whom I roomed and
boarded for weeks and weeks and who
was like q mother to me all the time l
was in her house? OF course not. Why,
Mrs. Simpkins, it wasn't week ago
that was grieying over news of your
death
"Who said was dead!
ST was told so by one Of your former
boarders. He said you had had a
stroke of apoplexy and that you had
been buried for almost two months.
The very day he gave me the news l
was on my way to your house with a
check in my pocket. There was a bal
ance Of SIS due you when left. Dear
me, but what a surprise this is, and
how heartily glad I am that you are
still on earth and looking as handsome
as eyern'
"It is no use to lie to me, Major Gro
foot" grimly replied Mrs. Simpkins.
.sYou cut sticks from my house owing
me SIS. I'm here for my money. I'll
either have It or pull the last hair out
Of your head Save your breath and
hand over"
"My dear woman, it pains me to
hear you talk that way" plaintively
announced the major. II remember
thousand acts Of kindness On your
part. and I only wish my indebted
ness was $1,000. Why do you speak
Of me in such harsh terms? If my
debt to you is unpaid, it is because
/ heard that you had died and left no
heirs. Only this morning as was per-
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
The Americans.

First American-Which do you pre-
fer. Marius. to be very rich or very
poor?
Second American If I had my
choice, Aurelius, 1 should be neither.
I should have about FIVE Millions
life
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
Counterbalanced.

Mr.. Brown-Darling, your butcher
gives you short weight for your money.
Mrs. Brown-But consider, my dear,
the long wait you give him for his
Illustrated Bits.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
Both Suited.

"Grymes and his wife Quarreled for
six months over naming the baby
How did they settle it,"
Easily. It was twins."-Brooklyn
Life.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
His Firm Belief.

Willie-Pap, what is the difference
between firmness and obstinacy?
Father-Nerely q matter Of sex, my
son.-Chicago News.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
A Deep Thrust.

Miss Kutt-I see Miss Gadsby has
new gown.
Miss Snarl-I presume it is cheap
looking affair.
Miss kutt-Rather. It's off the same
piece as your new one.-Ohio State
Journal.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03

"a
MNN NSSSSS healthy
M2H IAE%S&E>>>> woman
#g kMs$$$>> what she would
Mcy B%NNN\\ y Sc. Ter health
Ml HNNNN for and - would tell
~ QW\ you tha' re choicest
w. a IN \diamon. !, the world
e NM N could not buy it. What
II M Y use for diamond rings to
J kNN@ emphasize the shrunken
lAwM | fingers, or earrings to light
AMS up the cheeks followed by
NES disease?
ESW Health is the first requisite
#MS& to womanly happiness. General
E@kEill-health ir women has its on
MSM gin in local womanly diseases.
EsW Cure the diseases of the delicate
W womanly organism and the gen.
~ eral health is perfectly restored.
M The remarkable benefits ex-
MU perienced from the use of DR..
NV Pierce's Favorite Prescription
w are due to this medicines per-
sEA feet cures of wonanly diseases.
M It establishes regularity, dries
weakening drains, heals inham-
nation and liberation and cures
@ female weakness.
wa vIt affords me great pleasure to be
NA able to say few words IN regard TO
the merits of Dr.. Pieree's Fav9rIte
W Prescription and his Golden Medical
u Discovery writes Mrs Flora Arm, OF
Dallas, Jackson Co., Mo, III was
4 tempted to try these medicines after
n seeing the effect upon my mother. At
M an early stage of married life wao
M greatly bothered with painful peri
HH DDS, also troublesome drain which
81 rendered me very weak and unit for
MP work of any kind I became so thin
M there was nothing left OF me but skin
A and bone My husband became
W alarmed and got me bottle Qf 'Fa-
" yorite Prescription After he saw the
wonderful effects Of that one he got
me two more, and after used those
M ND there was no more pain, and te-
#A gan to gain in flesh very rapidly"
W vFavorite Prescription makes
u weak women strong, sick women
Cd we'll. Accept no substitute for
XH the medicine which works won
4A4@A ~ ders for weak
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03

The cost of producing and planting
young salmon is under 81 per 1000.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
A Fine Liver Cure.
Green7ille, Tenn.


I have thoroughly convinced NY
self that DR.. Bakers Blood and
Liver Cure is the finest medicine
made for Indigestion and Constipa'
ton. II have tried them ally and
was cured by the use of this medi-
cine, after all others had failed. l
most cheerfully and unhesitatingly
endorse it. Yours truly,
b. n. Baker, Mayor.
For sale at the Bazaar.
Gall or send YOUR dues to the Dis
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03

Call or send your dues to the Dis
patch.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1902-09-03
MAJOR CR0FOOT, G.P.
HIS Ex-LANDLADY DEMANDS PAY
- MENT OF BACK BOARD MONEY.

The Major Tries His Bunko Game on
Her, Which Fails to Work, but In
the End, However, He Comes Out
Ahead.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
Unfit for leadership.

That'Mr. Bryan is unfit for leader
ship is emphasized by this latest out
burst. He is either bent on drawing
the line between democracy and Bry-
anism. 1t is rule or ruin with him.
The democratic party can not afford to
be slaughtered as a sacrifice to Mr.,
Bryan's view This is now perhaps the
most crucial period of its career. The
ways are open to it. Along one lies
harmony and victory; along the other
disorganization and disaster. The ma
iority Of the party will doubtless decide
that it is of more importance to regain
the ascendency once enioyeded than to
minister to any politician vanity. Mr..
Bryan's letter affords an additional rea-
son why his advice should no longer be
regarded by true democrats. -Birming'
ham News.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

nary intelligence who will take the
trouble to ask men from the various
districts OF this county who the repub-
licans Of their district favor for Judge
and attorney general, he will be forced
to admit that Harmon and Keefauver
will have an overwhelming majority.
Why is it, in the face of this fact, that
the Tyler papers of the district assert
that the county is for Tyler and Butler,
or will be on election day? Can these
"horny- handed sons of toll" be bought
or driven like sheep into line by any
man? Are these sturdy farmers lot
of common liars and dissemblers whom
they say that they are for Harmon and
Keefauver and that their district will
give them large majority? We think
not, and upon the unbiased statements
of many of the best farmers from vari
GUS parts of this county, THE COME
predicts that Washington county viii
a give Harmon and Keefauver a majority
Q of 1900 in August.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
me worlds Creates cOrpOratIon.

AS an exhibit of its own and an index
of the nations prosperity, the United
States Steel corporations report for
the first six months of the current year,
showing net earnings Of $74, 4O7, 1853, is
a most interesting document,
The yearly net profits Of this single
corporation are now double the amount
of the total revenues of the United
States government in the year lincoln
was elected. It's wage-roll carries on
an average of the round years over 15O-
900 names an army of employees larger
by As, 900 than serve the national gov
eminent in every branch of its civil
service, classified and unclassifed, ex'
cepting only fourth-class postmasters
outnumbering by $4,000 the total mum
Der of enlisted men in the American
army and navy, and slightly exceeding
the total peace strength of the entire
British army at home and abroad. =
New York World.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
The MilIigan View.

The COMET: Will you allow us a
short space in your columns to tell the
truth in regard to match games be-
tween Milligan and johnson City? The
writer of the piece that was in the last
issue of the Staff would have one be-
lieve that did not see the games that
Milligan boys couldn't play ball a little
bit, but they proved both to the specta-
tors and the Johnson City team that
they had been ON a diamond twice be-
fore any way. Last Saturday was the
third time that Milligan had met John
son City on their own grounds, the
first game resulting in defeat for Mill
gan, the score being 10 to ~. The sec
ond johnson City was defeated, the
score being 10 to 8. Saturdays game
being the rub, both teams played to
win. The game was going on nicely,
the score being 2 to 2, until the last
half of the fourth inning, when the
Johnson City boys made two scores on
foul ball, which was entirely new
rule to our boys, as it did not show in
our rule book of 1902, consequently
had Milligan team somewhat handicap
ped. However, they played on, as the
game was young, knowing that if they
could get any of the decisions in their
favor that the game was theirs easy,
but alas in the sixth inning the 80
called blocked ball by the johnson
City team, and not the umpire, gave
them two scores more if the game
had been played to a finish, but the
spectators cried out, "Stop, we dom
want to see that kind of a game" 81
the game was stopped, and 2 on fail
decisions.
The Milligan and Conkling boy
don't expect to win all the time, bu
they don't propose to be licked Xix,
Lazarus, B.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
THE SOLDIERS HOME
May be Ready for the Admission of In.
mates in December.


Congressman W. ?. Brownlow was
in Knoxville for a short time Sunday
afternoon. He came down on the west
bound vestibule train and returned to
Jonesboro on the east bound train, hay
ing accom- panied some friends, who
were going south, as far asthis city,
says the Sentinel.
Asked concerning affairs in the first
district Congressman Brownlow said he
knew nothing out of the ordinary, po-
litically or otherwise, further than
what had already been printed, How
ever, he did discuss the progress being
made at the Soldiers Home in johnson
City.
1.-The work is now we'll under way on
the hospital buildings" said Colonel
Brownlow. 81 believe they will be
completed by the first of December,
soon after which they will possibly be
formally accepted by the government
and turned over to Governor John P.
Smith, for the reception of inmates,
In that connection it may be of interest
to the public to know that large num-
Der of applicants have already filed
their papers seeking admission to the
home
"What process is necessary to gain
admission ?" was asked.
eff the old soldiers will apply to me
| will give them the necessary inform.
alton as to WHOM their papers shall be
forwarded, and | will furnish them
blanks and information as to how tC
get into the home. 1t is generally un
derstood among the federal veterans as
to the conditions essential to gain ad
mission. " ...
cit has been reported that work OF
: the Soldiers Home has been delayed
Col. Brownlow. What was the reason
for that ?"
"It was due to controversy between
the contractor and certain parties as I,
the color of the face brick that were t
be used. Also to a shortage Of tn
brick supply. The latter was the chic
> cause of the delay. These matters hav
been arranged so that the construction
= may now proceed uninterruptedly
When the hospital buildings are com
pleted work on others will begin, AM
the Soldiers Home will be made re
: atty as fast as men and money can d
{ II - -
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

The New York World says: "Col.
Roosevelts dash up San Juan Hill will
pale before President Roosevelt's cir
cular swing in the fall" Probably so,
as it was entirely myth. If Roose-
welt ever dashed up Saa Juan Hill at
all it was after Gen. Hawkins had cap
tured it and driven out the Spaniards
and Col. Wickoff had lost his life in
the assault. Roosevelt and hic hobo
heroes were not in the attack on San
Juan heights at all. Commercially
peal.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
GIN SEARCH OE TRuTH.n

If it is true that the republicans of
Washington county can not be bought,
then Harmon and Keefauver will carry
this county by 1000 majority; and
more than that, they will carry every
district in the county.
This is no fight of ours, but as THE
CoMETs chief mission on earth is to
tell the truth, we do so sometimes for
the republican party, when it can not
otherwise become public. We assert
most positively that any man Of ordi.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

Now comes the state convention of
democrats of Georgia. The goober-
grabbers of Georgia are good demo-
Gratis, but they paid no attention to the
Kansas City platform, Bryan or impe-
rialism. One after another of these
democratic state conventions have ig-
nored the Philippine question, and still
some democratic officeholders fancy it
is an issue. -Commercial-Appeal.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
Carmack on Next Campaign.

Memphis, July 7.-United States
Senator E. W. Carmack, who has just
returned from Washington, thus out
lines the salient features Of the next
national campaign:
"Thes money question this time will
not cut much of figure. The impor-
tant issues will be the trusts, the tariff
and the Philippines. There is a grow
ing need for legislation against the
trusts, because the republican party is
hand in glove with the trusts and re.
fuses to oppose them.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
UNIFORM BALLOT.
Copy of Correct Form Being Sent Out.

Chairman Frank Thompson, of the
democratic state executive committee,
is sending out copy Of the form Of
ballot to be used in counties where the
Dorch election laws does not apply.
He has considered the matter carefully
and has consulted with a number of
leading attorneys, as it is desired that
there shall be no controversy as to the
form of ballot to be used, says the Nash
vile American. The form is being
sent to the county chairmen and the
chairmen of the boards of election COM
missioners, accompanied by the follow
ing letter:
''Dear Sir: In Tennessee we use two
ballots-one, the ballot used under
what is known as the Dortch law, and
the other the ballot used under chapter
81 of the acts of the extra session of
1891, which is amended by chapter 1O1
of the acts of 1898. This last mentioned
ballot is known as the uniform ballot,
and the law requires that it should be
of plain white paper, inches long and
3 inches wide, upon which the office to
be filled, with the names to be voted
for, shall be plainly written or printed.
It shall not be lawful to place on this
ballot any picture, sign, color, mark,
index or insignia This ballot shall
not deyiate more than one-eighth of an
inch in length and one-sixteenth of an
inch in width, and must be used at ev-
cry voting precinct in Tennessee where
the Dortch law, or Australian ballot, is
not used under the law.
81 enclose you form of this ballot,
which has been carefully prepared and
request that you have the ballots print
ed in your county conform to it in ev-
cry particular.
"We would like for you to have your
newspapers publish this form of ballot
and call attention to it, in order that
the voters may be familiar with the
form, also know the names of the dem
ocratic candidates, Yours truly,
''F. M. THOMPSON, Chairman. "
The following is copy of the form
of ballot he is sending out.
JUDGES OF THE SUPREME COURT,
The State at Large-W. X. McAlister
The State at Large-M. M. Neil.
Eastern Division X. Shields
Western Division W. D. Beard,
Middle Division-John S. Wilkes.
JUDGES COURT OF oHANoERY APPEALS,
Eastern Division-R. M. Barton, Jr.
Western Division-Jo ohm M. Taylor.
Middle Divisions. T. Wilson.
| CHANCELLOR.
CIRCUIT JUDGE.
! CIRCUIT COURT CLERK.
COUNTY COURT cnERL.
TRUSTEE.
REGISTER.
/ SHERIFF.
CONSTABLE.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
Congress- Acts and Omissions.

The Kansas City Star sums up the
work of the present congress in these
paragraphs:
"The things congress has failed to do;
"It has failed to relieve Cuba, having
placed the Cubans in position where
they could not help themselves.
"It has turned its back on the plan
to provide for the national defense by
enacting militia law.
"It has refused to pass bill for
general staff of the army.
"It has smothered all the reciprocity
treaties, ignoring the words Of the late
President Mckinley: The period of
exclusiveness has passed.
"It will probably go on record as be-
ing unable to agree on comprehensive
measure for the suppression of anarchy.
ut has considered consular reform
as of no Importance.
ut has passed NO legislation for the
regulation OF trusts, ignoring the rec
ommendation of the president and the
industrial commission.
"It has set its face against tariff revi
sion and tariff reform.
"It has postponed action on the bill
creating the department Of commerce
which passed the senate.
''It has not placed restrictions Of any
sort, other than those now in effect, OIL
European immigration.
"Things congress has done:
"Killed the Nicaragua canal bill ant
passed the Panama canal bill.
"Killed the bill for a government ca
BILE to the Philippines and decided no
to interfere with the private enterpris
pledged to breaking the monopoly.
"Passed a river and harbor bill az
gregating $40, 100000.
"Passed a public building bill aggre
eating $50, 100000.
"Passed an irrigation bill and com
mitted the government to the policy G
retaining arid lands of the far west.
Probably will pass some bill for tn
. civil government of the Philippines.
PASSED many thousands of specia
pension bills.
prohibited sale of oleomargarine a
butter.
Repealed all the war taxes amount
ing to about $7O,OOO,OOO.
"Ship subsidy bill passed by the sen
ate and killed in the house.
"Chinese exclusion re-enacted.
Amended the bankruptcy bill, brot
ably.
appropriated $3.50, 900 for the Re
modelling Of the white house.
''Passed appropriation bills exceed
ing those of any congress at its frs
session except war congresses.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

Speaking of Mr.. lBryan's charge that
Mr.. Clevelands little banquet speech
was a bid" the Macon Telegraph
pungently retorts that, elf to speak
once was to bid for fourth party NOM
nation, to speak nearly every day, as
Bryan does, would mean the perpetual
candidacy for the nomination of man
twice defeated"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

The Newport Times copies the notice
of the "Guess What" party from The
COMET last week and applies it locally,
of course without credit. For the ben
eft of Editor Fagala we will say that
that notice was true statement of an
event not down on the program at a
society entertainment in this city. The
pun in the closing sentence was ours
and copyrighted.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

A fellow in the prohibition state of
Maine has coughed up live snake,
and says he thinks he drank it in water
in the south. Jack Reaves says south
ern water might have put snakes in his
boots, but it takes prohibition "water"
to put them in his stomach.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
Farm in Tennessee Number pa, 623 and
are Worth $265, 15O,75O.

Washington, July 8.-A bulletin is.
sued yesterday by the census bureau
places the number of farms in Tennes-
see at 294, 6s3, of an average size of &C
acres. SeVenty-six per cent. of the
acreage Of the state is devoted to farm
ing. The farm lands with their i'm
provements are valued at 1926, $50, 760.
The live stock held on the farms is val,
ued at $50, 1913, sos. The value OF farm
products for the year 1899 is placed al
$1O6, 1866, 44O. Fifteen per cent. of the
farmers of the state are negroes.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10
Give Credit to Schley.

New Orleans, La, July 5.-In the
state legislature the Smith bill has pass
ed the senate and gone to the governor
It bars all histories in the Louisiana
public schools that do not give complete
credit to Amiral W. s. Schley for the
victory of Santiago. Gov. Heard I'M
doubleday will sign the bill
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

President and members of congress
alike avoid an extra session in Wash
ington during the summer. The COM
ing congressional elections are going to
be about the warmest things the repub-
licans can stand. Nashville News.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1902-07-10

1t is a singular thing that whenever
Grover Cleveland opens his mouth
Henry Waterson takes off his shoes and
stockings and exhibits his sore toe
Commercial-Appeal.