davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05

threw down his hat and jumped on it
and yelled
"Und Why does he slump und yell?'
asked the grocer.
Because he'd lost his job on the
cart He bad his wife in mysteries and
the children crying in less than five
minutes. and then he turned to and
drank up most of the beer laid in for
the function and kicked the horns off
the family goat"
''By Sheorge, but dot vhas calami-
ties,''
THAT was one, Mr.. Wasserman, the
first one on the programme. Tim was
still tearing around when Count Divito
came home and fell down in fit.
He'd had fifteen punches of bananas
frozen up on his hands and was finan-
cially ruined for life. When the count
ess revived him and learned what had
happened, her shrieks of despair filed
the halls. / went up to quiet her, but
she hit me in the stomach with n Co
coanut and walled louder than ever. l
was talking with the BARRIERS wife,
and she was tickled half to death when
her husband came staggering home"
"Und he vhas drunk"
"Oh, no. 1t was another case of
financial ruin. The BARRIERS union had
forced the price of shave down TO 3
cents to freeze him out, and his jour
neyman had run away with all the
razors the same day. / had to help
him up stairs. and his groans were
heard clear across the street. By John,
but 1 had my hands full that night!
It's n wonder my heart didn't carry
me off,
but you don't die?" protested the
grocer.
mo, 1t seems not. Some one had to
live OH to stand at the front door and
turn the guests away. There were
about 200 in all, and they began arriv-
ing at half past a. l put on my white
vest and stood at the door, and as each
my hand and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, owing to I'M
foreseen and unfortunate circumstances
the respective functions TO be held in
this fathouse this evening by Mrs.
O'Sullivan, the Countess Divito and
Mrs. Torrington are unavoidably post
poned to a more suspicious occasion.
Au revoir''
Und so dey goes ayhayF
"And so they went away"
"Und all vhas calamities?"
And all was calamities, Mr.. Wasser.
man"
'Vhell, vhelll 1t vhas no wonder to
me dot eggs vhas 80 cents Il dozen und
dot canned tomatoes goes oop till all
Ger poor peoples hat to eat pumpkins
NJ. QUAD.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
AdminIstrator's Notice.

Estate of John Schultz, deceased.
The undersigned having peen appointed al.
ninistrator OF the estate of John Schultz,
late of the county of Rock Island, state o.
Illinois deceased. hereby gives notice that he
VIII appear before the county court of Rock
Island county, at the county court room, IL
the city of Rock Island, At the May term
on the first Monday In May next, ht which
time all persons having claims against sale
estate are notified and requested to attend
Tor the purpose OF having the same adjusted
Al persons f-dsbtei TO said estate are re-
quested TO make Immediate payment to the
Dated this 2Ist day of March, A D. 1902
CARL WITT, Administrators.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
Notice of FINAL settlement.
e ofWnliam J. Shea. dec .ssed.

Estate CT William J. Shea, dec sssed.
.uplic notice'is hereby given that the under
signed, Catherine Shea, has this day
ment as such ia the county court
of Rock Island county, and that an or
der has been entered by said court ap-
proving the said report, unless objections
thereto or cause to the contrary be shown on
or before the 10th day OF April a. D.
1902, and upon the final approval of said report
the said Ca herine Shea will ask for an order
of distribution and will also ask TO be discbarR-
ed. All persons interested are notified to attend
Rock Island, III. March 21st. 1902
CATHERInE SHEA.
Administratrix of the estate of VIM j. Shea
MCENIRY & MCESIRY. Solicitors.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
w. A. BRIGGS, Manager.
Executors Notice.

Estate of II. II. Lohse, deceased.
The undersigned having been appointed eS-
ecutrix of the last will and te- lament of II
n Lohse, late OF the county OF hook Island,
state of Illinois, deceased. hereby gives notice
that she viii appear be fore the county 0urt of
hock Island c unity, at the county court room,
In the city of Rock Island. at the May term,
on the first Monday In May next, at
which time all persons having claims against
saio estate are notified ana requested to at
tend for the purpose of having the same ad-
justed All persons Indebted to said estate
are requested TO make Immediate payment to
the undersigned
Dated this 18th day of March. A ID. 1902
KATHERINE LOHsE. Executrix.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
Spring GOLF.


IAfter Tennyson.1
The splendor falls on clubhouse walls
And lights the stretches that are DOGGY;
The sun shines where the sand pits bare
Are still little damp and soggy.
Sing golfer set the wild echoes flying!
The wind in the tall grass goes signing.
signing. signing.
Oh. bark. oh. hear the loud and clear
Voice of the early golfer shouting!
His cry is. ''Fore!" Once more, once more
He's on the brown hills for an outing.
Harki Hear the dampish glens replying
And see the chunks of sod go flying. fly
ing, fyingi
Oh, glad and free the golfer he
Goes with visage that is rudy.
He tramps away through clinging clay;
His trousers and his shoes are muddy.
Drive. golfer, drive! Set the gray guilty
flying
Out there where winters ghost goes sigh
ing. signing, signing.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05

Bill-While Tommy
was out in the rain
last night he slipped
and broke three ribs.
Joe-Did he? How
is he today?
Bill-All right, but
he had to buy a new
umbrella.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
Pnenmonia is Rohbed OF Its Terrors.

BY Foley's Honey and Tar. 1t stops
the raclling cough and heals and
strengthens the lungs. If taken in
time it viii prevent an attack of
pneumonia. Refuse substitutes. For
sale by all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
As Explained.

@hS - n FAAA - ~ .
Smith-Jones
is what might
be called 4 sue
cessful liar.
Brown-How
is that?
Smith g
seldom lies, but
when he does
he makes it
e o o d a n d
strong.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
impossible.
sIisconstrued.

Mamma, what is deiusion?"
"a delusion, my son, is something
people work under"
Mamma, is the roof of papa's fac
tory q delusion ?'-Chicago News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
TRAINS.

est. Louis Springfield
Peoria Quincy, Gales
burg and Sterling.
Peoria, Beardstown, Bur
ingtor, Denver and
West ............
St. Louis, Kansas City.
Denver and Pacific
Coast via Galesburg 80
Sterling and points In
termediate -.....--.....
East Moline (suburban) .
st. L., Denver and west
Clinton and Dubuque 80.
Davenport and Clinton o..
Clinton, Dubuque, La
Crosse, st Paul, MINI
and west and N. W..
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
tcopyright. 1902, by c. B. Lewis.I


tCopyright. 1902. by c. B. Lewis.l
"R RHELL, Mr. Sprocket. / pellet
W like enough you vhas dead"
" said the German grocer as
the janitor OF McAIurphy's
flats quietly entered the store the other
day and backed up to the stove.
mot quite dead, Mr.. Wasserman, not
quite" was the reply, though at one
time 1 thought my hours were num-
bered. When janitor has got heart
disease. asthma, weak lungs, bad
liver and rheumatism all at once, the
tenants hadn't ought to be given any
sudden surprise or jar"
Eyes, 1 see. And did you get some
jars:"
81 did. \ calamity happened ut our
flats Wednesday night, and my knees
are weak yet. You know what a calam-
ity is. don't you:"
Il pellet L do" replied the grocer.
zone time l put on roller skates to
skip around n rink, but my heels fly
oop ind my head flies down, und 1
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
TIE rKAvELERs, GUIDE.

GHICAGO. R JCK ISLAND
49, ~ & Pacific Railwey-Ticke's
Eid7tHE6lif can be purchased at City
J[sfSIt Ticket ONCE. 1913 Second ave
E3iEElt4l nue., or C. r L & p. depot
corner Fifth avenue and Thir
ty-fifth street. Frank a Plum ner, agent.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05

Nl775l777T BURLINGTON ROUTE &C,
M,NiiIlfHfiIfIfs b. g. Q. RAILWAY-Depot
-s1lHiRstk1H Second avenue and TWEEN
I. Fl.Ff.3-5.tI tieth street
lillIllsx ID. J. YOUNG,
.1clZr,kEzzLll Agent
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
At theTheater

= * n
"This act is
interminable,"
said Whiffet
after consult
ing his watch.
lit is" re-
piled Tenspot.
Its a long
time between
drinks"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05

Telephone 1880.
sDaily. tDaily except Sunday.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
LEAVE ARRIVE

LEAVE ARRIVE
IS 25 am 1855 am
t2::25 pm +I2:o1 pm
E7:15 pm S7:25 pm
t7:i5 pm t7-25 pm
1918 am
: 1855 am
1905 am s6:h5 am
S7:05 am 6:15 am
s7:35 pm J se:15 am
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05
M'MURPHY'S FLATS.
MRS. o'SuLLIVAN'S GRAND AFFAIR
FOR SOCIAL HONORS UPSET.

The Countess DIvitO and the Bar
hers Wife Planned to Beat Her at
Her secret Game, but CaIamities
Occur TO Mar the Events.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1902-04-05

III LII, MI. SpIOChet, 4 peiIei
like enough you vhas dead"
said the German grocer as
tho ianitor- Of AIcAIurDhy's
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19
Gave Them Their Names.

Some years ago a good story was
told, in which Prince Munster was
concerned. He (then only a count),
together with Count Beust and Count
Schouvaloff, was attending foreign
Office reception in London. Their
names afforded no slight difficulty to
the thoroughly English footman. who
announced the guests by shouting
their names up the great staircase.
Count Schouvaloff arrived first, and
the footman duly announced him as
Count Shuffleoff." Then came Count
Beust, whose name in the servitor's
mouth became "Count Beast" Last
ly, Count Munster appeared, and the
footman, evidently feeling that a SUI
preme effort was required, finished
off by calling out Count Monster"
London Globe.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19
KNEW He WAS FROM TEXAS.
New Man in an Office Makes n Break
That Marks Him n Lone
Star Product.

can unusually quiet sort of chap
was the new man in the Office" sail
a railroad man recently, relates the
Chicago Chronicle, land, as he didn't
seem disposed to take any of us into
his confidence, we didn't question him
much. A slight southern flavor in what
little he had to say led us to believe
that he was from down that way some
where, but we curbed our curiosity
as to where he came from, at least as
far as he was concerned, and took it
out in specializing on it among our
selves. One day, when we were all dig
cling into things on our desks, the
tire on a bicycle in the rack outside
burst with the report most of us were
familiar with. Up jumps the new man,
and, rushing toward the door excited
ly, shouts:
"Somebody's shot!"
When we told him what it was, and
quoted him down, l walked over to
his desk and asked:
What part of Texas did you come
from, STRIP
"'Relmont,' he said. What made
you think I came from TeXas?'"
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19

ing, she had overlooked the fact that
an outraged conscience fights best
in the night watches
That was why she had to get up at
midnight and dress. and go out to
have the dreadful thing over with be-
fore ever sleep would come, If haply
it might come then.
But once again fate interviewed.
While she was hurriedly dressing,
the whistle sounded for a landing;
and when she reached the Office, it
was again closed. AS before, she
stepped out on the saloon deck to
wait. The great electric searchlight
just over her head made the landing
rs light as day, and when she reached
the rail the landing-stage was just
coming aboard for the departure.
Two men whose duty it was to cast
off ran out on the fitting platform
and dropped to the ground. One o.
them fell clumsily; but the other ran
up the bank and loosened the moor
ing line. The steamer began to
swing off. and the man ran back to
his companion, who seemed to be
unable to rise.
"Get move on youse!" beloved
the mate.
Then Charlotte saw that the fallen
man was disabled in some way, and
that the other was trying to lift him.
The mate swore out of a full heart.
Come aboard. or I'll skin We alive,
ye skulkin'-"
Charlotte put her fingers in her
ears to shut out the clamor of pro-
family; but the man on the bank
was deaf to it. Running to the
mooring-post, he took turn of the
line around it. and snubbed the
steamers bow back to the bank.
Then. casting off. he darted back to
the disabled one. lifted him bodily
to the guard, and climbed aboard
himself.
Charlotte held her breath while it
was doing, and was near crying out
in sheer enthusiasm when it was
done. Then she saw the face of the
chief actor in the red furnace glow;
it was the face of the man she was
constrained to denounce.
She turned away at the sight. but
the harsh voice of the mate called
her back. There was trouble afoot
for the ~rescuer, who was facing the
mate and trying to explain.
ITO Be Continued.l
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19
.oEAR OLD MOTHER AND ME"

We lived in a cottage, years ago,
Acottsge Gown by the sea,
There were only two of us living there,
Just dear old mother and me.
Daddy had gone on his last long cruise,
rAnd Buddie was on at sea,
~SiS' was married. and so there were left
Just dear old mother and me.
The home was plain. but then 1t was
home"
And living we got from the sea:
We were happy together, 1 want you to
know.
J,yst dear old mother and me.
But, an end must come to sorrow or joy,
And so. like a storm on the sea-.
shadow passed over the house where
lived
Just dear old mother and me.
a beautiful boat appeared. one night,
And anchored off shore, at sea;
At dawned 1t sailed. and carried away
My dear old mother from me.
And now. lone watcE each night keep.
Looking out toward the sea;
Hoping, some day that boat will return
With dear old mother, for me.
But no, a boat must prepare,
For cruise on the Crystal sea,
A beautiful trip. to last Away
For dear old mother and me.
William r. Savage. In Sailors Magazine.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19

ment, and reasoned that the officers
of the Belle Julie" would not vet
have had time to individualize the
members of the crew.
But, apart from this. he was not
unwilling to add another chapter to
his experience among the toilers; and
as to this, he Immediately found him
self in fair way to acquire the COW
eted need of it. From the hour of
his enlistment, it was heaped upon
him unstintingly. Without having
specialized himself in any way to the
bullying chief mate, he fancied he
was made to bear the brunt of the
mans wrath. Curses. tongue-lash-
ings without mercy; contumely and
abuse, with now and then at the
night landings. when no passengers
were looking on. blows.
All these buffetings. or at least
his share of them. Griswold endured
as became man who had volun-
tarily put himself in the way of such
things. And. fortunately, he was not
hopelessly unequal to the physical
trial. Physically, as Intellectually,
the material in him was of the fine
grained sort in which quality counts
for more than quantity. None the
less, the first night with its uncount-
ed plantation landings, tried him
sorely. and he was thankful when
the second day brought fewer stop
ping-places and more time for rest
1t was in one of the restful inter
walls that he had been sent aft to
readjust the tackle of the suspended
yawl. He had come upon Miss Farm
ham and her aunt unexpectedly, and
SO was on his guard; and he made
sure the young woman had recog-
nized him. If SO. what would she
do? He recalled his written sum-
mary of her character and decided
that she would be sexless and just
before she would be womanly and
merciful- At least he hoped she
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19
A KnaVe Of
OnSCience
BY FRANCIS LYNDE.
Copyright 100, by Ftancis Lynde.)
CHAPTER V.-CoNrINUEp.

"By Jove! but she is a magnificent
iy strong type" he unused, lying fiat
on his back and staring absently at
the ALTERING shadows among the
deck beams overhead. "Her face is
as readable as only the face of a
woman instinctively good and pure
IN heart can be. Any man who can
put her between the covers of a
hook may put anything else he
p!eases in it and snap his fingers at
the world. If l ain going to live
In the same town with her l ought
To jot her down in words before l
lose the keen edge of the first i'm
preston"
PIE considered it for moment,
and then got up and went in quest of
q pencil and a scrap of paper. The
doing night clerk gave him both,
with a sleepy malediction thrown in;
and he went back to his engine-room
and scrubbed his word-picture by
the light of the swinging lantern,
thus;
"Character-study: Young woman
of the type Western-Creole-no the
West of parents who have migrated
from one of the older States. G'u
hazard that much as a guess.) De-
tails: Titan blonde, with hair like
spun bronze; the complexion that
neither frecllles nor tans; cool, gray
eyes with an under-depth in them
that NO man but her lover may ever
quite fathom; a figure which would
be statuesque If it were not alto
gether human and womanly; fea-
lures cast in the Puritan mold. with
the lines of character well empha-
sized; lips that would be passionate
but for-no. lips that will be pas
sionate when the hour and the man
Errive. A soul strong in the strength
of purity. which would send her to
the stake for a principle, or to the
Isle of Lepers with her lover. A
typical heroine for a story in which
the hero Is a man who might need to
borrow a conscience"
He read it over thoughtfully when
It was finished, changing a word here
and phrase there with crafts
mans fidelity to the exactnesses.
Then he shook his head regretfully
and tore the scrap of paper into tiny
squares, scattering them upon the
brown food surging past the engine
room gangway.
cit won't do" he confessed, reluc-
family, as one who sacrifices good
literary material to an overweening
sense of the fitness of things. Its
nothing less than cold-blooded sac
riiege. 1 can't make copy out of her
sc ] write no more while the world
stands"
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19
The Comnositor.

Compositors on newspapers have to
run up against fearful and wonder
full photography that will slip into
their domain despite the argus eyes
of the editors; and chirographies
blunt and chunky, fine Italian" and
the Glow Dutch" and all the grada-
tions between, make them tired lot.
Sometimes they are provoking-for
instance, when it was reported in the
press dispatches some time ago that
a train ran into a cow and ''cut it
into calves" William j. Bryan was
once described as the spout" of his
party when spirit" had been the
compliment intended. AS these errors
have some wit in them, one naturally
concludes that the willy compositor
knew better, but couldn't resist the
fun and a chuckle in his own sleeve.
But it was too, too much, when
New York paper announced recently
that Miss - wore, in addition, of
course, to other apparel, a mag
>nificent job lot of sable" "Jabot"
was the feature meant.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19
"What if they couldp"


Don't you see! You'd be dragged
into court to identify the .robber.
And that would be simply dreadful"
Il shouldn't want to be dragged.
It would be simple duty to go will
lingly. More than that, L think
I ought to write to Mr.. Galbraith and
give him my name and address"
But at this the invalid protested
with what authority there was in
her, and Charlotte agreed finally to
wait until the matter of duty had
been submitted to her father.
Here the subject was dropped, and
Charlotte went to her stateroom to
get book for herself and a maya
zine for the invalid. 1t was full
hour later, and Miss Gilman was deep
in the last installment of the maya
zine serial. when Charlotte gave up
the struggle with the book. Do what
she could. the scene in the bank
would thrust itself between; and at
length she let the thought have it's
will of her.
From where she was sitting she
could see the steamers yawl swing
ing from it's tackle on the stern
staff. In the midst of the reminis-
cent thought. she saw that the ropes
were working loose; that the yawl
would presently fall. When she rose
to 60 and tell some one, a man came
aft to make the tackle fast, and she
stepped aside to let him pass.
1t was Griswold. She saw his face
as he passed, and there\was some
thing strangely familiar in it. When
he had fastened the rope and was
returning, she had fair look at him
and for an instant was fain to grip
the back of her chair to keep from
crying out. For in that instant she
recognized him.
Now. this young woman was wise
beyond her years. and she knew
what she had to do. None the less,
she was a true woman. with a heart
full of tenderness and pity. So it is
not wonderful that for moment
conscience turned traitor. and was
dumb. But it was only for a mo-
ment. The simple and obvious thing
to do was to go at once and tell
the caitain what she had discovered;
and she was deferred from so doing
only by the reflection that a less ter
rible alternative would be the send
ing of a letter to the New Orleans
bank people.
This she determined upon. telling
her aunt nothing of her discovery,
but merely saying that upon second
thought she felt that she must write
to Mr.. Galbraith at once. Miss Gil
man withdrew her objections reluc-
family.
IF you must. Charlotte. But it
seems like very dreadful thing for
you to have to do"
1T is very dreadful" said Char
lotte. with a sob in her voice. New
ertheless, she went away quickly to
write the letter which should set the
machinery of the law in motion.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1902-12-19

familiar language is French; their
friends are French, their political as
pirations and prejudlces not only
French always, but aristocratic and
unpopular usually.
The American colony is no longer
exotic; it is self-perpetuating. and how
firmly fixed in the affections of
France!
There was another international
marriage, little earlier than that of
the beautiful Comtesse d'Aramon.
The unimportant man was Comte
LEIPZIG; the lady was Miss Andree
Whitcomb, again a lifelong resident of
Paris, daughter of an American father
and a French mother, a Mile. Won;
thus again was the second generation
of American blood remingled with the
best in France.
Vast wealth, yet not vast enough for
the absurd scheme of initiating with
a private fortune a great historic pal