Evening star., 1902-08-09

capable OF making on the monologue can
uidate's performance.
The candidate was beginning to mon HIS
| forehead when the manager turned in the
aisle ana faced him and made a gesture
| TO indicate that he wanted silence.
"Uh-huh," he grunted. That's enough
Tor line on the goods. See you out in
front after while"
The monologue man broke OF in the mid
| Ole OF an elaborately wrought Joke the
| point OF which he was gradually and cir
cuitously leading up to, and slouched OF
the stage. Several Of the candidates who
hsd been what the stage hands called
| knockin during the try-out Immediately
| surrounded him and told him that his stufr
was great and that he ought to get book
| IN Tor forty-two weeks on the cYrcuit
without further ado. But the monologist
| looked as IL he had his doubts-as well he
might have, for when an hour or so later
he saw the manager "out In front" the
manager rubbed his chin and told him that
| he'd think 1t over, that he'd about engaged
ms regular bunch OF monologists for the
coming season. that there were a lot OF fell
| lows doing monologue stunts, that the
stuff" wasn't so bad, but that Il needed
some cutting out and patching up-and that
he'd think Ii over" Even the aspirant for
vaudeville honors knows the meaning OF
| that dismal phrase: and the monoiogue man
went away looking very detected indeed.
But this Is getting ahead OF the story OF the
| try-outs.
She Was the Dearest.
"Put on the two thatve got the sketch"
ordered the manager when the monologist
had shambled or the stage, and presently
faded. tired-looling little woman and a
burly man who needed a shave badly were
| going through their PAGES. The faded little
woman began first. It was the same old
sketch. She was waiting for her husband
| to come home and telling what she was
! going to do to him IL he came home t!psv
and Just when she had finished her recital
OF the torments she intended to inflict upon
MIN he staggered in with the usual h.c-
coughs, the customary toused hair AMI
the inevitable thick utterance of the man
who has been "openin' wine" with the
boys down to the club" This is the way
the vaudeville drunkard always expresses
1t, thus leading persons not familiar with
club life to suppose that veritable riot OF
rum must rule behind the mysterious por-
tails of all clubs. Then the two talked at
each other with great vituperation ana
scorn for some time, the wife accusing the
husband Of having been cavorting around
with them chemical blonde chorus cree
chers," and he feeding her Jealousy and
winking humorously at the -audience-or
where the audience ought to have been
and casting out dark hints TO which she OF
course replied that there were others and
so on. Then the man suddenly Strengthened
up and told her that he'd bin on'y foolin''
that he didn't have no Jag at ALL" and
that he considered her the dearest little
woman that ever warbled under a pineapple
tree. The sang was the cue of the piano
to the stage, gloomily pairing his nails. He
wheeled about on his stool and began to
paw over the music on the piano rack, with
the air of q man sadly mistreated. Then
the man on the stage asked his relentng
wife If she remembered mem days" when,
hand in hand, they used to lit through the
sunshine together, and she smiled and cud-
died up to him, and the inevitable duet
was on.
"Hey. give us c. Bud" said the burly
sketchist to the piano player. who struck
the chord with such vicious force that all
OF the other candidates gaZed at him lnvol-
unfairly and inquired of one another what
the professor grouchy about Then
the pianist waded into the Introduction
| to the song, and the man and woman on
the stage, their heads close together in
| token of the white-wnged dove of peace
| that was lowering over their domicile, be-
| gan their pitiful vocal effort.
Two More Sketchers.
"Wouldn't that make you hate music?"
hoarsely muttered another
Them pipes needs plumbin' all right"
growled another.
Hey why don't they whistle it?" put in
| another.
The burly man and the faded little wo-
man-whose voice was distressingly
| thin and weak the mans was hoarse
| and voluminous-were still burbling unto
| each other as indicated, when the manager,
who had been roaming around the auditor
a
electric light fixtures, and who had appar-
| emily bestowed nary a look at the stage.
| signaled to the stage manager. who sat
| gioomily in one of the orchestra chairs.
| reading his correspondence in the faint
gray light that sifted through the tops Of
! the windows. The stage manager caught
| the signal.
"That'n be about all o. that" he said,
| choppily, to the sketch artists OF inter-
| national renown" who were ambitious to
abandon variety for 'vodeville" THE
| boss'll see you out in front in an hour or
| So"
| The sketch artists broke of In the mid
| die Of their cooling and Joined the yet un-
tried candidates. who told them that they
had everybody else in the singing sketch
| business skinned to a frazzle."
Pull off that sister turn, and let's see
what they got" directed the manager.
Real Twins This Time.
The piano player swept lot of music
| off his rack and permitted it to lie where
| it had fallen beneath the first row of or
| chestra seats, and then two tiny, ema-
| cated, spidefy women, who looked exactly
| alike, and who might have been anywhere
from fifteen to fifty years of age, stepped
! to the front. SISTER turns" are not gen.
orally performed by actual sisters, but it
was plain at a glance that these two were
twins. They cavorted out from the left
side of the stage-they were supposed to be
gyrating in front of a drop-and began
while they raised their pitifully shabby
skirts and tripped about they sang.
"A-pickin' cherries by the sea-" they
squeaked in unison, and then they swung
| around on their toes and gathered their
skirts up In front and shook their fore
! fingers at each other real archly.
"Lemme out!' moaned one of the male
huddlers.
Say. what dye call 'em-the Phono-
graph Sisters?" inquired another. in OBJ
vious reference to the squeakiness of the
twins voices.
what / need in business is air."
muttered another, making IL to escape.
AN they're advertisin' so many good
Jobs f'r chambermaids," whispered one OF
the waiting female aspirants.
The twins only had a chance to shake
their forefingers real archly at the con-
clusion of one verse of their cherry pick
ing-by-the-sea song before they were
waved off by the stage manager, who
growled something in his mustache about
the Cherry sisters. They looked very
mournful indeed, as they Joined the wait
ing candidates, who, however, endeavored
to comfort them by saying in chorus that
they never seen no such rattling sister
turn