Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1902-10-13
JUST FOR FUN.

talking to James Whitcomb Riley on
how poorly paid was the profession of
literature. "But, Mr.. Riley" said
she," surely you have no cause for
complaining. You must be a very
rich man. / understand you get
dollar a word for all you WRITE"
"Y-e-e-s, madam" said Riley, with
his slow drawl, "but sometimes I sit
all day and can't think of single
word"
Stops the Cough
and works off the Cold.
Laxative Bromo- Quinine Tablets cure cold
in one day. No Cure, no Pay. Price rs cents
Let me row, said the pretty girl.
But I would rather row, said he.
Well, don't let's have a row.
To avoid row, suppose we row to-
gether. Then we can both row and
have no row.
He LEARNED GREAT TRUTH.
1t is said of John Wesley that he once said
to Mistress Wesley: "Why doyou tell that
child the same thing over and over again?"
"John Wesley, because once telling is not
enough" 1t is for this same reason that you
are told again and again that Cbamberlain's
Cough Remedy cures colds ard grip; that it
counteracts any tendency of these diseases to
result in pneumonia, and that it it is pleas
ant and safe to take. For sale by II. G. Pierce,
B. U. Wells, d. w. Hildreth, G. Wheeler, 1.
stephenson.
Teacher: "What zone is this in
which we liver" Johnny: Temper
ate." Teacher: Correct: Now, what
is meant by temperate zone?"
johnny: "It's place where it's freq
zin' cold in winter an red hot in sum-
mer."
FORTY YEARS TORTURE.
To be relieved from torturing disease after
40 years torture might we'll cause the graft
tude of anyone. That is what DeWitt's Witch
Hazel Salve did for @. Haney, Geneva, o. He
says: DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve cured me
of piles after had suffered 40 years." Cures
cuts, burns, wounds, skin diseases. Beware
of counterfeits. FL. G. Pierce.
Have you learned any fancy me-
thods of skating? asked the young
woman.
No., replied Willie Washington, I
can skate only two ways.
Which are they?
Standing up and sitting down.
RAN TEN PENNY NAIL THROUGH HIS HAND.
While opening a box, j. G. Mount, of Three
Mile Bay, N. Y, ran ten penny nail through
the fleshy part of his hand. "I thought at
once of all the pain and soreness this would
cause me-" he says, "and Immediately applied
Chamberlains Pain Balm and occasionally
afterwards. To my surprise it removed all
pain and soreness and the injured parts were
soon healed" For sale by II. G. Pierce, B. U.
Wells, d. w. Hildreth, G. Wheeler. L.
Stephenson.
Don't succumb to grim despair,
But remember, when you're glum,
That the hardest things to bear
Are the things that never come.
THE woRsr FORM
Multitudes are singing the praises OF Kodol
the new discovery which is making so many
sick people well and weak people strong by
digestipgi what they eat, by cleansing and
sweetenipg the stomach and by Transforming
their food into the kind of pure, rich, red
blood that makes you feel good all over. Mrs.
Cranfill of Troy, /. T. writes: For number of
years was troubled with indigestion and
dyspepsia which grew into the worst form.
Finally was induced to use Kodol and after
using four bottles 1 am entirely cured. !
heartily recommend kodol to all sufferers
from Indigestion and dyspepsia, Take dose
after meals. 1t digests what you eat. III. G
Pierce.
In little pamphlet called "Better
Say" written by James @. Fernald,
the photographer, the following
amusing anecdote is given:
News. "The latest news are good"
Better Ray: "The latest news is good"
News, while plural in form is singular
in construction. Two friends, at one
time having dispute on this matter,
agreed to refer it to Horace Greeley.
AS he was out of the city, the question
was telegraphed to him "Are there
any news?" Greeley promptly
flashed back the answer, "Not a new"
When you wake up with bad taste in your
mouth, go at once to the drug stores of II. c.
Pierce, b. U. Wells, d. w. Hildreth, @. Wheel
err, or :. Stephenson and get a free sample of
Chamberlains Stomach and Liver Table is.
One or two doses will make yo u well. They
also cure biliousness, sick headache and con-
SIlpdJlO
Harry, said a mother to her incor-
rigible son and heir, did you bring
that mud into the house? No, mann
ma, replied Harry; it just stuck to my
shoes and came in itself.
| NATURAL ANXIETY.
Mothers regard approaching winter with
| uneasir ess, children take cold so easily. No
disease costs more little lives than Group
Its attack is so sudden that the sufferer is
often beyond human aid before the doctor ar
rives. Such cases yield rt adily to One Minute
| Cough Cure. Liquifes the nucus, allays in
| fammation, removes danger. Absolutely safe
| Acts Immediately. Cures coughs, colds. grip
bronchitis all throat and lung trou ble.F s. Nc
Mahon, Hampton, Ga.,: ga bad cold rende red
me voice1ess Just before an oratorical contest
| 1 intended to withdraw but took One Minute
Cough Cure. 1t restored my voice in time tc
win the medal" H. G Pierce.
Senator's Hoar Of Massachusetts, apC
Proctor of Vermont were once en-
gagged in a rather acrimonious discus