The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1902-12-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1yU2.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
casey-I heard noise at yer house
and saw folks there last night. Was
We receiving? Dacey-I was MCGUIRE
give me black eye.-Chicago Daily
News
Judge.I don't think that women have
always been vain; you know women
were made before mirrors. F'udge.-And
they've been before them ever since
Baltimore Herald.
HIN. the composer of this song
was conceited enough, must say"
here in one. place he has written Fine =
Philadelphia Bulletin.
so you don't think much of Arctic ex-
zins: we know the north pole is there
and that nobody's going to move it, If
we found it we wouldn't have any use
for it anyhow. Washington Star.
You ought to call this the volcano
cigar" says the patron, looking criti-
cally at the eheroot. Might be a good
name,' assents the dealer. you can
bet it would. Why all the survivors
will be wanting to brag about how they
~~N-~SNN~ 49, NNt,Ss
Kind LADY, suppose you have seen
better days? Tramp-Yes 'm. One day
last week 1 got three dinners and ten
beers.-Detroit Free Press.
Il hear you ere going to marry OLD
Broadacres-" Yes" For lands sake.''
'Yes.'-Baltimere American.
She's evidently the apple of his eye =
He told me she was a peach 500
Wen, at any rate, they are a fine look
mug pair Indianapolis News.
Il see the scoundrel in your face,' ex-
claimed the angry man. THAT" replied
the other calmly, lis a personal ref1ec.
ton" When the angry man had figured
Poet.
Yes. I walk home every evening
now now What! Not all the way home
Sometimes my automobile doesn't break
down until I'm two-thirds of the way
nome. '-Philadel0hia Press.
asked Softleigh of the amateur theatrical
manager. The part of the heroine's
rich uncle What does he-aw-do2''
querled Softleigh. Oh" was the heart
curtain goes up on the first act. See?"
IT'S the other fellows money that is
the root of all evil" -PhiladeIphia Rec
ORD.
-; He had been counting the girl from
Philadelphia for ten years, When he
proposed she exclaimed: This IS So
sudden Life.
Mr.. Styles-Gracious I've gone anc
left my gold studs in that shir- vo1,
sent 10 the l2I1ndrx- 7
Styles-Don't worry, dear. They'll come
out in the wash.-Y onkers Statesman.
so your friend. the hunter. was ac-
cidentally shot?" Yes but it was mart
ly his own fault. He insisted on going
out looking for game when he shouId
nave been playing seven up.''-Wash-
Frisleigh acted as a marriage broker
once. He was Engaged by an inpecrni-
Gus German count to secure an Ameri-
/ can helress for him. Frisleigh was to
get IL per cent of the girls estate for
arranging the match He did better
than that. He took it all'' ..Fhr How
could he do that?" He married tha
girl himself: ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Can you tell me anything about Mr..
Blank, Mr.. Richard Blank?' asked a
visitor at a resident in Tidewater, Va
mean OF course, about his standing
".
Blank, sub, is a perfect gentleman. sinh,
a perfect gentleman, suh,'' and here he
paused. until he gently whispered, but
short o cash. New York Times
! Robinson Cruise hade just named his
man Friday when he was ready to kick
himself all over the island. What a
fool he exclaimed IF 1 had called
him Saturday I'd have had a pay day
every day of the week" Subsequently,
however, the royalties of his book more
than covered his loss.-NeW York Tri-
/ bune.
The End.@Two are company until
they're made one--Baltimore American.
Better to Be Rich Than Lucky.-Wig-
Would you rather be born lucky or rich
Wag-Id rather be born rich. Then you
don't have to be lucky.-Philadelphi
Record.
Short MISUNDERSTANDING Sharpe, I
have come to ask your advice as to the
quickest way to be relieved from my
debts. Lawyer thinking for the mo-
ment of something else)-Pay them
Chicago Tribune.
One day while Pat was walking along
the street he caught sight of the bill.
Apartments Furnished whereupon he
boldly knocked at the door. 1t was OPP
ened by the landlady in person, and the
following conversation took place:
| sePhat would Won furnish nv room for 7'i