The sea coast echo., 1902-11-01
ESSAY ON THE CARPENTER.
PUCK HAS SOME FUN AT THIS
WORTHY ARTISANS Exp PEksE.

1 f -
When He Arrives to Do a Job Of
Patching He Assumes the sover-
| eighty of the Observation-Disclosures
Must Be Taken off the Range.
Tho carpenter has, undoubtedly.
more professional look than any other
professional man, When you wish TO
ask him question you can not simply
ask him as you would lawyer or
railroad man; you have to consult
him. Suppose you go to carpenter
and begin to talk to. him. He will
regard you narrowly and without the
marks. BY the ethics Of his profess
sion it Is his first duty to make sure
of your manner. If 1t is not the
humble, conclllating, oppressed man
ner in which a layman should address
carpenter he will continue TO regard
you narrowly from his cold, blue eyes
until your spirit is properly chastened.
The only way to approach carpent-
er Is TO be iowly. II con. enient, II Is
well to be drawn before him on sled.
When you are in his presence your
cue is to say:
Know. o Carpenter of the Age! l
would consult you"
| The carpenter will then pick q shaw
Ing f1om his whislSers and sign that
yon may proceed. 1t would then be
n fatal policy for You to appear 10
know whereof you speak. You should
cast sawdust upon your head and say:
Behold, O mighty Cotange! | am
hut 2 child of earth and there appear
eth tc be something the matter with
my house"
The carpenter will then observe.
1 HIM" as II to the professional mind
this seemingly Opaque statement were
quite translucent and nutritious
II know not what It is," you will
continue; "but tho rain cometh In. and
perchance someone hath left the base
ment door open and 1t hath made the
roof leak"
The carpenter win then go to look
at the house, and after uttering the
magic words sllls, Jlce, headers and
studdin', will signify that the mansion
is Fastening to decay and that he will
fix 1t for fourteen dollars.
The carpenter docs not assume
| professional air on the first visit to
lay 1t aside thereafter. He Is profess
sional from start to finish, and his
eyes arc cold and blue and his over
alls are the -samo, and they come up
over his shoulders.
When he arrives to do the job Of
patching he assumes sovereignty of
the household. Wherever the patch
ing is to be done he begins by going
eight times through the house. Then
he goes out around the house to make
the people inside wonder and to put
them under G spell.
IL prime thing with him is to get
the doors open; and w:len this is done
he bends his energies to getting tho
proper windows open on various floors
so as to set up the fiercest blasts.
If the woman of the house is Ill he
gets gale going through. her room,
and probably takes out window near
her bed and sends 1t to the shop.
Later he sends imperious word to her
that he wants ladder. II he is feel
ing his best he will issue a ukase
eor the dinner to be taken off the
range so that he can melt some glue.
We will suppose tnar the work re-
quired is to rip up one plank and nail
down another. When the carpenter
is ready to proceed he disappears.
He takes his horse and drives to the
shop or couple Of times around the
block. leaving the blasts blowing, the
glue melting and the household mar
Yelling at the wonders of carpentry.
Being returned. he proceeds to the
job. First he stands and looks at the
plank professionally, as II in thought.
Still thinking deeply he takes a foot
rule from his pocket unfolds 1t, shuts
1t I'D and puts 1t back. Next he takes
a try-square and with his big elliptical
cedar pencil. which he foigns to be a
most rare possession and an instru-
ment of accuracy he marks off some
blue lines perpendicular to something
He looks at these as grimly at Newton
at an equation, and believes that the
truths OF geometry can not escape
him. Next he planes off a peck of
shavirgs from any soft board that is
handy; but while he does this he ad.
justs his plane four times as part Of
the ceremony. The professional way
10 adjust plane IS to p;ck out shay
Ing, loosen the blade, drive 1t down,
squint at it with cold blue eye, pull
| 1t back where IL was ard tighten the
patent screw. lie then rips nm the
Old plank and goes to the shop to con-
suit the auspices. If, while he is
gone, somebody stumbIes in the hole
and breaks a leg the auspices are fav.
orable.
Having returned, and having assur-
ed himself that the blasts are in work.
ing order and that the glue has all
the range and half the house to itself
he goes TO ais professional case. takes
out with fine discrimination a hammer
INSTEAD OF q marling-gauee or a
sp9ke-shave, as the unskilled would
: dol and four nails, which he places
in a professional pocket on The south
side OF the west leg of bis blue phil.
} begs. He puts the plank in place.
|, starts the four nails at a professional
angle and begins to drive them home.
AS soon as he does this he sees that
something is wrong and he goes out
around the house comes back, rips up
the plank with most critical air. and
nails it down again. Whenever a.
carpenter does thing wrong. he ney-
er appears annoyed or confused by the
error. This is where his professions
al air serves MIN well. for he makes
1t appear that the mistake is the most
essential part of the job.
When the carpenter has occupied
four Eours on matter which the IN
i | CIyIllad nntt1d ~ lo.