The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1902-05-14
ARTHUR ROPES, General Editor.
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS.

Prohibition, as personified in Fletch-
er Proctor, and License, in its chief
est apostles, the Messenger of ST. Al
bans, and it's allies, have lain down
together, and if they do not form an
altogether happy family, one al
together beautiful, they try to be as
happy and attractive as badly mixed
and entirely incompatible elements
can be. In no menagerie, to tickle
the on-gazers of country assemblages,
ever We're assembled in one cage speCi-
mems of animal existence of such di-
verse and opposing natures or quail
ties Some of these have passed rap
idly through successive stages of evo-
luton, from an original Webb-footed
species to the "extra dry prohibition
genus proctor Variety, the Webb
foot taking on in the process of evolu-
tion the semblance of the cloven hoof.
Some have passed so rapidly through
so many stages of evolution, taking
on a new shape before the previous
OAlN tto NOiillA blltib III viz NOlli-
plexity of their features and the mon
strosity of their dispositions they out
do in the mystery sof their identity
the "What is it," that was the mar
vel and the despair of Barnum's great
and inscrutable curiosity. In Bur
lington, for example, where is found
here and there an Extra Dry of
the Proctor variety, it is not uncom-
mon to see a specimen with a nose so
abnormaIly developed and Of such
livid hue that it might serve the pur-
pose Of sign for tipping house-lf
not a cloud by day, certainly pillar
Of fire by night. Such are some of the
evil consequences of this woful cross
ing of the genus Prohib, Proctor va
riety, with the species License, Webb
footed variety All the malforma-
tions of Hafed's Dream, favorite
selection in the reading books of for.
mer generation, are visible III the gro
tesque collection. St. Adams furnish
es an exhibit which was once a speci-
men of license pure and undefiled by
the introduction of strains from SINH
lar or contrasting species. 1t was rath-
er comely and somewhat beautiful TO
look upon. 1t began to develop the
Webb-foot, but before that was fully
grown suddenly, in the twinkling of
an eye, cloven foot sprung full form
ed from the other extremity and then
all the characteristics of an "'EX- :
ira Dry" specimen were evolved, and
its parched throat ever since has been
emitting it's harsh, Wild Mutations
that rival the CANNES midnight bay
ing to the moon. The spectators
pause in sympathy before this exhibi-
ton and murmur All how sad. -
An inconspicuous but extremely vi
cious member of the Family" halls
from Brattleboro-a specimen of the
"Cimex Lectularius' (bed bug i'll the
tongue of the ancient Romans) evolv-
ed from like humble but incisive
species, Pulex Irritans (the human
flea, in the Latin). This member con-
tributes much to the prevailing misery
of the Family and to the loathing of
the lookers-on. Many other specimens
there are, chameleons, ever shifting
color with the varying object or situa-
tions they are up against, Holsters
turned to fiery red in the cauldron of
political exigencies, tree toads noisy
but indistinguishable in their environ
ment, to catalogue and describe which
would be long and protitless task.
Strange bedfellows, indeed, is this
motley aggregation gathered into the
Happy Family van in the Proctor
menagerie