Evening star., 1902-02-01
JoBSoN FIXES A STOVE

breakfast table the other morning. sto
stop on your way down to the once and
| send the stove man up to fix the isinglass
In the latrobes."
Mr. Jobson suspended In midair the piece
OF chop that he had on the end Of his fork
gazed fxedly at Mrs. Jobson and then drop
ped the fork onto his plate with a clatter.
Send the stove man up?' he inquired in
mystified tone. What forr'
ITO put new isingiass In the latrobes." "
replied Mrs. Jobson in a matter-of-fact
tone.
why don't you ask me to have the Dis
trict Of Columbia National Guard called on,
to put fresh isingiass In my latrobesT'' IN
quired Mr.. Jobson, irQntcally. ITS a won-
der you don't demand That call conven-
ton of the National Mica Workers Asso'
Grafton to have the whole bunch put few
/ little pieces Of isinglass In those latrobes
send man UP here to do that? Mrs. job
son. are You in possession Of the dreamy
idea that have several hundreds Of MIL
lions of dollars buried away somewhere
out near Rock creek?'
But" said Mrs. Jobson, "who viii put
| the isinglass in, then?'
THE humble and poorly regarded drudge
whom you are now addressing, Mrs. job
son. will put the isinglass in.' replied MIR.
| Jobson.
But" said Mrs Jobson, 'T didn't know
you could do that don't remember that
Madame" said Mr.. Jobson. grandly.
there are whole lot of things that can
do that you don't know anything about. 1
have several holdouts, so to speak, in this
| respect with which, naturally enough, you
| have no familiarity whatever"
Are you going to put the insinglass in
| this EVENING"" inquired Mrs Jobson.
AZ AZ precisely twenty-ivs m, minutes past
Shall let the latrobe fires go out.
them inquired Mrs. Jobson.
Not unless you want to, just for the fun
| OF having a few chills," said Mr.. Jobson.
| trobe with new isinglass while the fire in
| the same was still burning ought to make
| Battenberg or Honiton lace work for a liy-
ing"
That evening Mr.. Jobson brought home
package containing enough sheets of ISM
| glass to replace the mica in all the stov es
on his block and still have plenty to spare
Fetch me the tape measure and the scis-
sors." ordered Mr.. Jobson, undoing the
| package. II want to show you how four
| dollars worth Of work-that's about what
the stove man would have charged-can be
| done inside Of six minutes. You can take
up the dinner. by the way. I'll have this
isinglass all in in no time
Mr.. Jobson pulled one of the latrobe doors
open with his bare fingers, and then he
snapped his digits for a while and said
things under his breath. Then he pro-
ceeded to measure the little windows of the
isingiass doors: The latrobe was in fine
fettle, and 1t threw out so much heat that
within a minute or two Mr.. Jobson, neces-
sarily leaning close to the Goals in the
measuring process had a good example of
the cerise face on him.
When he had cut out a couple Of mica
| windows that looked to be about the right
size to him, he began to pick with his
| fingers at the pins that held the broken
isinglass in the door Of the latrobe. The
latrobe door wasn't exactly red hot, but it
was pretty near it, and 1t didn't take Mr..
Jobson long to find out that he didn't have
10 1nv, ,Iny~sa 6,rr IT,
the cellar and brought up his tool chest,
and tried to yank the pins out with pair
of nippers But the pins were expanded by
| the great heat and they wouldn't bulge.
Mr.. Jobson mopped his forehead and glared
around him.
Dinner is ready Mrs Jobson called up
the basement stairs.
"AH o. K.-be down directly" Mr. Jobson
called back, saying something under his
breath that consigned all dinners whatso-
ever to place where they'd be kept for
ever warm.
Then he went at the stubborn mica-hold-
Ing pins with a patent wrench, burning his
hands badly every time he tried to adjust
the thing. At this point Mrs. Jobson called
up the basement stairs that the soup was
getting cold.
Let 1t freeze, blast itv bawled Mr. Job
son. dropping the wrench and gazing at
his hands. upon which blisters were al
ready beginning to RISE
For a few moments he studied the situa-
| ton carefully as he went over all the tools
In his chest. He finally decided that he'd
have to take the latrobe door from its
hinges to let 1t cool off before putting the
| isingiass in. So he tackled the job Of re-
| moving the hot door. The hfnge-pins, how
ever, were SO expanded that he couldn't
| move them a fraction of an inch and he
| burned one of his wrists badly In trying
| to move them. He was breathing pretty
hard when he picked up a hammer.
aeyve S0t Just Jus got to come out, that's all
sharply at one OF the hinge-pins with the
| hammer. The hinges of the door broke
! off, and the door clattered down. In his
enort to save the rug. Mr.. Jobson picked
| up the hot door to throw 1t on the latrobe's
slate platform. and then he ploughed up
and down the room, swapping his fingers,
| and roaring.
he shouted at Mrs. Jobson when, hearing
the uproar, she ascended the basement
steps. It's your Internal stinginess that
| has caused me to burn to the crisp you
see before you! Instead Of having some
decent, har6-working and needy artisan
that knows as much about isinglass In one
minute as ! know in a hundred million
years come up here and perform this Job,
you inveigle me into doing 1t, Just to save
few confounded coppers and probably be-
cause 1t gives you delightful sensation to
see me covered with blisters from my head
| to my heels! But it's going to be nv turn
now! I'm going out and telephone to the
| man to whom this job belongs to come up
here and make temporary repairs at once
ana tne Hrst thihs tomorrow morning, be-
fore I have anything to eat, I'm going
down town and get the proper firm Of
wreckers to rip these latrobes out Of the
house, and then I'm going to install a
| steam-heating plant here from cellar to
garret. that's what I am going to do!
There's nothing mean about me, and If l
was as stingy as some people I know I'd
| take In my own washing and have my
| teeth plated with Harveyized steel!"
The stove man didn't make his appear
| ance until shortly before Mr.. Jobson left
for his office the next morning, and when
he arrived Mr.. Jobson was telling Mrs
Jobson all about the ship subsidy bill and
asking her how much coal he'd better or
der the next time. nor has there yet been
any installation of steam-heating plant
| in the Jobson abode.
Not Such q Bad Place.
A noted crook who recently finished a
sentence In the prison at Moundsville, W.
Va, told friend few nights ago that he
| need not dread being sent there for q few