The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-03-21

An 1nsinuation: "They claim to be
connected with some Of the best fam
lies" by telephone?"- Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
Sarah-She's worth a million, and just
the right age for you. Jerry-Any girl
worth million is the right age for
me.-London Tit-Bits.
Because you are better than the man
you despise does not mean that you
are not worse than those who dcspise
you.-New York Press.
Edith-You say Mr.. Goldley deceived
Edith dreadfully about his age?
Gladys-Yes, poor girl! After they
were married he confessed that he was
only sixty instead Of seventy-five.
Cassidy-Why don't ye ate yer din.
ner? Casey-Shure, this is Froiday, an
Dim wonderful Cassidy-What are We
wonderful? Casey-1s turtle soup fish
whin it's made out O. veal?-Philadel-
phia Press.
Guest Gnpatiently)-Say, waiter, how
long have you been employed here?
WATERFRONT week, sah QUESTION.
is that all? Then l must have give,.
my order to some other waiter.-Cni-
cago Daily News.
Pleasant While 1t Lasted: "What
would you do if you woke up some
morning to find that you had inherited
a million dollars?' I'D turn over on
the other side and try to dream it
again. Record-Herald.
The Authors Privileges: An author
wrote to his publisher: Can hope for
any royalties from my book this year,"
The publisher replied: Yes, you can
hope. There's nothing in the world to
hinder you. ''-Atlanta Constitution.
The Test in Harlem.--Gazzam latter
he has succeeded in waking his wife,
Open the dorsh! Mrs. Gazzam (head
out of the second-story window)-Are
you sober? Gazzam-Yesh. Mrs. Gaz-
zam-Then say reciprocity
Life.
Collapsed Building: ''Kape alive,
Mike! We're rescuin' ye." Voice from
the debris)-Is big Clancy op there wild
ye? ''Sure lie is" "Ast him wud he
be so kind as t. step aft the rooms. I've
enough on top av me widout him.
Brooklyn Life.
Why He Returned: "Did you come
back for something you forgot?' asked
Mrs. barley, when her husband return
ed to the house few minutes after
leaving. "No. my dear" replied he, Il
came back for something l remember
ed.''-Town Topics.
what is the matter?" asked the lit
erary mans friend. 81 don't know
what | am going to do about this
weeks work." ''What is the trouble?"
Il can't think of any interesting ques-
tons to ask myself in my Answers to
Correspondents column" -Washingt
Star.
He-My dear, we have cause for
congratulation. l have just received
notice Of all unexpected increase Of
ten dollars per month in my wages.
She-You dear, sweet, lovely old boy.
How perfectly charming you are when
under the influence Of the X-raise.-
Chicago Tribune.
Doctor binding patient emptying a
bottle Of wine)-Here, here, my good
man, this will never do. That's the
cause Of all the trouble Facetious
Patient We'll, then, fill your glass,
doctor. Now we've found the cause,
the sooner we get rid of it the better.
Detroit Free Press.
Fast and Furious -Backstop-I'm
glad to see that you are making
name for yourself as an author, old
man. Scriblet (modestly)-Yes. Hon.
ors are being heaped on me. Why, It
was only yesterday that learned that
my latest book had been thrown out
of the Boston Library.-Bazar.
Composites: Dashaway - Quilldriver
seems to be fellow Of extremes-one
who writes awful slush and sublime
prose, and who is at the same time an
idiot and genius. Cleverton-Where
did you get such an idea? Dashaway-
I've just been reading the reviews Of
bis latest book.-Harper's Bazaar.
Papa's Consent.-She-Isn't it love-
ly? Papa consents. He-Does he, real
ly? She-Yes. He wanted to know
who you were, and told him you were
tape-clerk at Scrimp & Co.'s. and he
seemed real pleased. He-1 am delight
ed. She-Yes, and he said we could
be married just as soon as you were
taken into the frm.-New York Week
~.
Quite another matter: Aarons-"Did
you hear dot latest aloud Finkelstein 2"
Jacobs-"No. Vat vas it?" Aarons-
Ivy, he gave twenty-five tousand dol
lars last Friday to dot leedle poy vat
vas run over NIT dem street cars"
Jacobs-"Is Finkelstein gone crazy al
ready? Vot ails him dot lie do such q
dins?" Aarons-"Oh. he vas on der
jury."-Life.
But mamma" said the beautiful
| e,Al A,nor;oon loiroSs edo vO11 hn.