davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
BEFORE HE TOOK v0GELER.s

he Could Not Touch His wife's Dinners
and They Were "Fit for n King"
So writes our esteemed friend, Mr..
Frank Chambers, of 8 Bennett St..
Chiswick: "For over two years | suf-
fered agonies from indigestion, and be-
came reduced to mere shadow of nv
stalwart self. / would return home
from my business feeling so faint that
| could hardly drag one leg after the
other; my dear wife did all she possi-
bly, could to tempt me with dainty
dishes, and as l entered the house l
shifted and thought: '0h, how good; /
know can eat that But alasl no
sooner had l eaten a few mouthfuls,
when | felt sick; severe pains shot
through my chest and shoulder blades.
my eyes swan and everything seemed
black. became alternately hot and
cold, and got up from such a dainty
dinner heartily sick of living, and feel
ing / was sore trial to everybody.
may mention that was also very much
troubled with scaly skin, and often
boils. But one evening noticed my
vile seemed more cheerful than usual.
questioned her and found she had
been reading pamphlet she had re-
ceived, of men afflicted Just as l was,
and who had been cured by Vogeler's
Compound. Said she, what gives me
more faith in it is that it is made from
the formula of an eminent physician
now in active practice in the West End
of London, so am sure it is no quack
thing All right, dear, let's have a
bottle, said /. After taking the con-
tents Of the first bottle I felt very much
better, and determined to give this
remedy fair trial, and l can positive
ly assure you that a few bottles have
made new man of me. / can sleep
we'll, eat anything and thoroughly en-
joy life. l have told several of my
friends, whom / knew were suffering
the same as myself, and they all wish
me to say that they are like new men.
l sincerely bless the great physician
who gave you the formula of Vogeler's
Curative Compound, and also your
selves for making its virtues known to
a suffering public" The proprietors
(the st. Jacobs Oil, Ltd. Baltimore,)
will send a sample free to any one
writing to them.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
THE PRIEST AND THE scRlsE.
Sporting Reporters Troubles Trying
to Describe a Church Ceremony.

Sporting Reporters Troubles Trying
to Describe Church Ceremony.
"one OF the most amazing things
that | have noticed in the conduct of
newspaper" said prominent Roman
Catholic clergyman of this diocese In
talking with Sunday Inter Ocean re-
porter the other day, lis the absolute
ignorance of our church matters that
the average reporter detailed to write
of them exhibits. One would suppose
that the papers would select men for
such duties who were qualified for the
work by reason of being members of
the church, or who at least had such
Il general store of information as to
enable them TO approach their assign
ment with the spirit of intelligence.
The reverse seems. however, to be the
rule.
II am impelled to make this criticism
by an experience that l had at the
Holy Name Cathedral short time ago.
There was an imposing church cere-
monial to take place in which l was to
take part with scores of other priests
of the archdiocese. A short time be-
fore the services were to begin a re-
porter for one of the papers came up
TO the parish-house for Information.
and. seeing me there. asked me to tell
him in advance just what was going
to be done. | sat down and he pulled
out his pad of paper and began to take
notes. In my description of the cere-
monies l mentioned the acolytes. He
stopped his writing and looked up at
me with puzzled expression.
How do you spell that?" he asked.
Il told him and he put it down. Then
he looked up again and asked:
Say, what are acolytes, anyhow
Briefly, / told him what acolytes
are, and then went ON with my descrip-
ton of the ceremonies. In doing so
mentioned that the brothers were to
take certain part. Again the reporter
looked up aud asked:
Say, what brthersT
IL gave him a brief explanation of
the brothers, and he took it all in.
When had concluded he fired another
question at me:
Say, what's the difference between
the brothers and the priests?
1T was now my turn to ask ques-
tioEs, and l did so. What is this. any
how? A theological classY inquired.
What kind Of work do you do for your
paper, young man! Horse races?
Mostly sporting he answered, not |
in the least abashed. L never tackled |
a proposition like this before, and 1t is
just so much Greek to me. Sporting |
news is pretty dull just now, so they |
sent me out on this
''He was so frank about the matter
and realized his own limitations so
well that l couldn't feel angry with
him, and actually had to laugh at the
bewildered air with which he ap-
preached the whole matter. | fixed |
him up as well as / could, but never
had the courage to look at the report |
that his paper printed. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
The Prle. Of Adml,sIon.

The only son had reached the histri-
onic period in his career, and was in
dulging in a juvenile edition of ''Uncle
Toms Cabin" His mothers drawing
room was converted into a temporary
theater, and with view, perhaps, of
playing only to exclusive audiences,
this notice was posted over the door;
Ladies' and gentlemen under Is
years may come in; those that are not
cannot. New York Evening Post.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Whom The Princes, Meant.

Sir Arthur Sullivan was once the
bearer OF letter from the Princess OF
Wales, now Queen Alexandra, to her
mother, the queen Of Denmark. The
latter read 1t and said: "She says in
her letter. He will tell you about the
little monkey" ''I assure your
majesty" said Sir Arthur, am quite
ignorant on the subject of any monkey"
The queen, with a laugh, replied:
"She means herself"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
RheumatISm

Rheumatic pains are the cries of protest
and distress from tortured muscles, aching
joints and excited nerves. The blood has
been poisoned by the accumulation Of
waste matter in the system, and can no
longer supply the pure and health sustain.
ing food they require. The whole system
feels the effect Of this acid poison; and
not until the blood has been purified and
brought back to healthy condition viii
the aches and pains cease.
Mrs. James Keil of 7o7 Ninth street. N, E.,
washington, d. G., writes as follows: aA few
months ago had an attack of Seattle Rheuma,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

Mr.. Understanding queer about
Biffkins. He has never once mentioned
his wife.
Mrs. Binks-Perhaps he isn't mar
ried.
Mr.. Binks-oh, yes, he is. He
wears out three pairs of shoes month
trying TO save car fare.-New York
Weekly.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Peculiar
To Itself

In what it is and what it does--con-
tanning the best blood-purifying,
Alternative and tonic substances and
effecting the most radical and per-
manent cures of all humors and all
eruptions, relieving weak, tired,
languid feelings and building up
the whole system--is true only of
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

DR.. Jameson. the leader OF the raid,
panied him greatly and drew from him
this biting sarcasm; what a tribute to
the moral worth of the nation that has
jumped the worldr'
Rhodes was never married. He was
said to have been a woman -hater Any
way he never had time or inclination
for the soft side of life. He was proud.
cold, daring. audacity itself. and he
hewed toward the goal of his ambition
without a deterring sentiment of either
morals or mercy
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

liberated condition of the neck OF the
womb can produce all Of these symp-
toms, and no woman should allow
herself TO reach such q perfection OF
misery when there Is absolutely no
need OF IL, The subject Of our por-
trait In this sketch. Mrs, Williams of
Englishtown, MI, has been entirely
cured Of such illness and misery by
Lydia u. PinkhamS Vegetable COM
pound
No other medicine has such record
for absolute cures, and no other medi-
cine Is lust Is good" Women who
want cure should insist upon getting
Lydia E. PinkhAms Vegetable Com
pound when they ask for IL at store.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Miss or Mrs.

She--T want to get a necktie for o
gentleman.
Clerk-Yes, miss; here are some
very pretty ones for 81.
She-o, don't want to pay rore
than q quarter.
Clerk-Yes, madam; does your hus-
band like dark or light colors2-Phila-
delphia Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Already.

''That boy" remarked old Cerberus,
drily, after the youthful hope and pride
had been led off to the spanking de-
partment. ''has the bump Of litigation
very strongly developed; he Is already
vigorously engaged in contesting the
parental will"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
A PreVious EvrerieUco

1.-TWO dollars to Forty second street 2
How far away Is itY
"Oh! It's some distance from here"
ut is, eh? paid a cabman two dol.
lars to go somewheres in New York
wunst an he got there almost as soon
as he got the two dollars!'-Puck.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Hoods JGrSdp0rilid

No other medicine acts like it;
no other medicine has done so
much real, substantial good, no
other medicine has restored health
and strength at so little cost.
II was troubled with Scroiula and came near
losing my eyesight. For four months ! could
not see 10 do nythins. After taking two bot
ties Of Hoods SarSaparilia could see to walk,
and when mad taken eight bottles could see
NC.
Ho0dTs SarseparAfa gPoasieos 70
cure sssd keeps TIRE propsEses
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

"I am 80 nervous, there is noe . well
Inch In my whole body. am 10 weak
At my stomach. and have indignation
horribly, and pAlpltation OF the heart,
and am losing heah. This headache
and backaohe nearly kills me, and yes
terday nearly had Mysteries, there
is weight In the lower part OF my
bowels bearing down all tho time, aud
pains in my grolna aud thighs can
not sleep, walk or sit, and I believe I
am diseased all over, no one ever
suffered as l do
This Is description of thousands Of
cases which come to Mrs. Pinkhams
laboratory for advice An infamed and
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Som, On, Mu,l Paw n. RIll,

Anxious Groom--I thought you said
something or other about check; !
don't sec any.
Angry Father-in-Law--You blitheF-
ing idiot, your wife is regular check
book. Every time either Of you wants
anything che writes me note anil I've
got to cash 1t.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Only Waiting.

Doesn't 1t make you the least bit
envious to see what elegant furniture
Mrs. Eyefiy is putting into her house
next door?'
'Not bit. My husband says IL
will be sold by the sheriff within six
months-and I'll be there 70 buy"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
IN the Land Of Dreams.

Hetty-oh, Bertha, you must show
me that hat your husband said he was
going 10 buy for you, The last time |
was here, you know, he said II was a
dream.
Bertha--And 1t Is still dream,
Hetty. Tit Bits.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Few Things In Stripes.

Twill you kindly show me what you
have here2" asked the visitor to the
pen.
with pleasure" replied the
warden, who had once worked in dry
goods store; Eve have few things in
stripes that I think will interest you"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

$50 Markley "a dead,

$50 Markley Is dead"
eyes, It was complication Of
troubles"
"why, when ] saw him week ago
he only seemed TO have a slight cold"
That's all right, ut he tried to
take all the remedies his friends sug.
gested. ."--philadelphia Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Ussd 10 caryIns LEAD.

Papa Are you sure you can support
my daughter In the style TO which she
ia accustomedG
The suitor--well, I will only say
that yesterday | dlpsosed Of my auto.
mobile, which kept In good repair for
over two years.
Papa (brokehlyl--she is yours, my
boy. l, too, once owned an auto
brooklyn Life.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
A SacriIeainr,s ns.ire

Mrs. Jones-W What's become of that
silk smoking jacket You gave your
husband for his birthday?
Mrs. smith--Oh, had to make that
over into sofa pillow. He actually
wanted to sit around and smoke in it.
Judge.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Had Earned Her Retirement.

Miss Susan NJ. Hallowell, professor Of
botany for the past 27 years at Weles-
ley college, has rendered her resigna-
tion. Her retirement withdraws from
the faculty ranks the last member who
served in the opening year Of 1875.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Taking The ShOr. Cut

Mrs. Galley (musingly)-Suppose I
should publish your love letters, dear2
Mr.. 6aley-Why not simply make a
public acknowledgment that you mar
ried fool?
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
peeollstts,

Jimson-Did you SEQ the society buds
at the reception last night7
Jester-Yes; one would think they
would be afraid 10 come out 40 early
in the spring without wearing more
pFotecti against the irost.--Ohio
State Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
MortaIity OF MarvIand Horsea.

Investigation by the state veterina-
rian shows that the high death rate
among horses in Maryland is due to
cerebro-spinal meningitis. The disease
Is the result of poor food, bad drainage
and generally insanitary environment.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

LiSm In Its worst form. The
pain was so intense that I
became completely pros
trated. The attack was an
unusually severe one, and
my condition was regard
ed as being very danger
Gus. I was attended by
one Of the most able doc
tors in Washington, who is
also a member of the fac
ulty of . leading medical
college here. He told me
70 continue his prescrip-
fio1e n nd I xat,1d orot ,,zaiI
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

"This," said the salesman, handing
out another package, lis also an exceIl-
ent substitute for coffee. It is very
wholesome. 1t makes red blood"
Haven't you something" asked the
young woman with the earrings, "that
makes blue blood2"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Sullivan, Truthful Remark

John L. Sullivan has been recognized
as a truthful as we'll as fighting man.
"Pve made monkey Of myself again"
he said the other day.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
The GOlHse.

"I had terrible time last night. A
crank called at my house and had an
awful time getting him to go away"
Threatening, was he?'
eyes; he threatened to tell me all
about his exploits on the links"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Work Of Joel Chandler tI.rri,.

Joel Chandler Harris, the author,
lives in little frame cottage in At
lanta, Ga. He writes from six to seven
hours day, turning out from l 800 to
1000 words, using Typewriter.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Chinese WooIen Workers.

In San Francisco $40 Cinnamon are
employed in factories making under.
wear for women and children. Girls
are totally unable to compete with
them.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Denial from American Scout.

Major F. r. Burnham, an American
scout, who served with the British cav
airy in the Boer war, denies that he has
applied for the place Of instructor of
scouts at Aldershot.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
A Measure Of Time.

The Pupil-It seemed to me that l
must have pIacticed all OF two hours.
The Proiessor--But I'm sure you
didn't. II you had practiced two hours
it would have seemed like six.-Puck.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

times he lends helping hand to pull
ing steer from the mud; again he will
assist in building shed for the fat
tened hogs.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Inlalsltlaa.

He Do you ind Il an interesting
story2
She-oh, very. I'm 10 anxious 10
get TO the end that, really, can't help
skipping nearly every other paee."
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
An ObstacIe.

"There is always room at the top
said the Good Adviser.
Indeed, yes" answered the Unfor-
tunate Person, "but the elevator IS not
always running"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Simple

Friend-Why do you imagine that
drink drives away your troubles2
Old Tank-Oh! exchange one
load for another.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

One siSe smaller after using Aliens Foot Ease,
apowdcr. IL makes tight OF new shoes easy.
Cures swollen, hot. sweating, eehing feet, IN.
growing nails, corna and bunions, All drug.
glsts and sliee stores 2ac. Trial package FREE
by mail. Address Allen s. olmsted. 10 Roy,
New York.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

First Author--Stackson's is a case Of
where little knowledge is danger
ous thing.
Second Author In what wayf
"Why, he knows just enough Of his
tory 10 unfit him for being historical
novelist. ~ Brooklyn Life.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

"My husband ls going TO give mo
this portrait for birthday present. F."
That's very kind OF him."
"oh, but no doesn't know about II
yet. "--Brooklyn Life.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

Lame back makes young man feel
old. Hamlin's Wizard Oilmakes an old
man feel young. See your druggist,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Whistle In Old Mexico.

The ancient Mexicans had a species
of whistle which produced at least three
notes. 1t had two finger holes and a
mouthpiece on the side.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

tons and would get well. After having Il filled
twelve times without receiving the slightest
peneht, declined to continue his treatment any
longer. Having heard of S. S. S. (Swift's specifcl
recommended for Rheumatism, decided, almost
In despair however. to give the medicine a trial,
ana after had taken few bottles was able &c
mobile around on crutches, and very soon there.
after had no use for them at all, S. S. S. having
cured me sound and we'll. All the distressing
pains have left me, my appetite has returned
health.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

gaR& Permanently Cared No nea e. nervonanen,
TITO amer aFsl lAy,s eef nf kilass tlTeat Nerve
ResspEVF Send foe RA Rk ~. trial bottle and tFeal
he Dn.hM kLiSs, Lld vi Arch ST. rhilaaelphla ~
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken
of as q cough cure. e.---J. W. O'BRtKa, a23
Third Ave-, n, Minneapolis. Mimi, Jan.
0, 1890.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

When we have kick coming, we
have noticed that it comes from some
other man.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

minerals in It to disturb the digestion and
lead to ruinous habits.
We have prepared special book on
Rheumatism which every sufferer from
this painful disease should read. 1t is the
most complete and interesting book of
the kind in existence. It will be sent free
to any one desiring it. Write our physi.
clans fully and freely about your case. We
make no charge for medical advice.
IHE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, "a.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
AN UNCROWNED KING.
CECIL RHODES. EMPIRE BUILDER
OF SOUTH AFRICA.

He Was One of the Most Mas.erfua
Characters Since the Days OF Ma
poleon-His Great Achievements and
His Greater Ambition.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24
Nice Man.

Cadleigh-Won't you give me another
dance?
Miss Wiggins-Really, Mr.. Cad
leigh, you've had nearly all so far,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

Cadleigh-Yes, you know, it's just
to spite Miss Pechis. We've had a
quarrel.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1902-04-24

the great vegetable
purifier and tonic, is
the ideal remedy in all
rheumatic troubles.
There ara No o0;afae n,
The Irish standard., 1902-09-20

Patrick McHugh, of Langdon, N. D..
died at st. Joseph's hospital, st. Paul,
last Tuesday, after a brief illness. Al
the time Of his death his wife, one
daughter and his friend, w. J. Mooney,
We're at his bedside. Mr.. McHugh
was one Of the best known men in
North Dakota. He was a member of
the constitutional convention of the
state and served two terms in the
North Dakota legislature. He served
two terms as mayor and was postmps-
ter of Langdon at the time of his de-
mise. Mr.. McHugh was born in
Lindsay, Ont, and was 81 years old.
He leaves a wife and six children
two daughters and four sons. A man
of good business qualifications, he had
accumulated considerable property
and belonged to various fraternal or
CARNATIONS. Mr.. McHugh had large
circle of acquaintance throughout the
northwest, all of whom will regret to
learn of his death. The remains were
taken to his old home at Langdon for
interment
The Irish standard., 1902-09-20

Nlle sources of the English defa,ts
In the early stages Of the Boer war
are being gradually revealed by the in
designations of a Parliamentary Com
mission, appointed, as is usual in such
eases, oven There, three years after the
closing Of THE events. When the trou-
bic in the Transvaal began. those quail
itiel to judge such matters foress,w
that the war would necessarily be one
in which cavalry would form Il most
important factor: and in that branch
the British army wls always notori-
ously deficient: in this instance even
the equipments We're wanting, long At
ter the troops should have been in the
field. But, England has always been
regarded as being Il horSe country, and
there should not have been amy dlr-
ticnlty in providing the proper mounts
for the cavalry. Ii :11,c,rs. however,
that the supplying of horses for THE
army was largely in the hands of one
family. whose principal qualifications
for the business were that they had Il
pull ut the war office. and that one
OF them was interested in the disposal
or bunch of stectls of rather more
The Irish standard., 1902-09-20

There was Il little scene in the Min.
neapolis municipal court the other day.
The picture was that of a sons ingrat-
itude to his. mother. Almost eighty
years Of age and neglected, she had
been taken from the streets as a va
grant and lodged in the Jail. Her ar
raignment followed, but there was no
disposition OIL the part of the judge to
punish the woman. Destitute, placed
in an insane asylum and released, a
wanderer, she soon fell into the hands
of an officer, with the result as above
indicated. One of her sons thereafter
appeared and to the judges question
he answered that he had been SUBJ
poenaed to come, but had no time to
attend to the matter. He seemed to
have lost all interest in her welfare.
No time to attend to his mother! A
most inhuman act, and yet not alto
geher uncommon.
The Irish standard., 1902-09-20

Many races are represented among
the bishops of this country. There
are, for instance, the Anglo Americans
like Bishops Williams, Nortllrup and
Curtis; the French, like Bishops Chap
ellie, Durier, Glorieux and Rouxel; the
Germans, like Archbishop Katzer and
Bishops Alerling, Els, Fink, Haid,
Horstmann, Macs, Schwebach, Noel
Ter, Richter; the Dutch, like Bishops
Jansen and Van de Vyver; the Irish,
like Archbishops Ireland, xeane, Rior-
dan, Ryan, Bishops Hogan, Burke,
Donahue, O'Reiliy and Phelan; and the
peoples represented by Bishops Ca
briefs, Matz, Messmer, Meerschaert
ard Irobec. Strange to say, there ure
no Spaniards, although some Of the
sees were founded by Spanish mission
nries, and there are many Spamiar1s
in the United States. But Archbishops
Chapelle and Bourgade and Bishop
Granjon and other prelates speak
Spanish.