West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-11-06
DOWSEgS BACkSETS.
His hother-in Law Has Hin in
Hand and Brings Him
to Tine.
Dowser Nearly Rursis His Boiler, But
Lets on Steam by Licking
Tramp

on him during the following day or two
] am the only thing alive he Is afraid OF.
aud there are times when he is minded to
rebel against me-
IL was understood on Saturday night
that we were all to get up good naturcd
Sunday morning and go TO church Amanda
aud were down in good season and had
nothing to worry us, but while we were
waiting breakfast Mr.. Bowser suddenly
yelled out from the top OF the stairs;
I've bought more'n 1900 600 collar but.
tons this year but III be hanged II can
find single one up herer'
| IN be right up and find you dozen.
dear. replied Amanda. but as she rose to
| go | said
''You won't do anything OF the kind II
he wants collar buttons let him find them. :"
II wasn't over three minutes when we heard
chair kicked over upstairs. and right after
the smash came Mr.. Bowsers roar:
Have got a clean shirt. or have all OF
them been used for dishcloths or given
away to tramps1'
"iie has four in the bottom drawer OF
his dresser. " said Amanda. "and III 20 10
aud show them To the poor man"
You'll stay light where you are e. said.
III he doesn't know enough to pull out a
drawer he can go shirtless. You have
spoiled tina, man. and It is time a strong
hand took hold OF him.
There ives an interval OF three minutes.
and then two more chair. went over. and
Mr.. Bowser's voice could haye been heard
across the street as he called down:
nTI. L. a
ties in my drawer and now | can't find
one II you don't come up here I'll wreck
| this housei"
went up. He was down on his knees
looking under the bed. and he had pulled
down all the hat and bonnet boxes in the
closet and tumbIed them over.
by the great horn spoon''-he began as
hetook me for his wife. But stopped
him with
benjamin Burton Bowser. / want you to
drop that voice OF youis 10 pegs Now.
| then what's the troubled"
Its the way this house is run" he
replied
Then hire someone to run IL differently
or go to a boarding house to live. What's
the matter with the housep"
| Abt't uo WHctc are my
shirts. my neckties aud my collar buttons?
Where are {"
Right under your nose. and IL you hadn' {
cabbage head on your shoulders you
| could put your hands on them Don't talk
10 me about the way the house is run. /
know the Bowsers from A to J. and not
one OF EN- could do as well As for order.
you go kicking around like mGie In a
stable aud IL would take 10 women to pick
up your things. Now. then you'll either
find your own shirts and buttons or 20
| without. And don't OH come downstairs
with your cars working and glare in
your eyes. I've seen such men as you
before. and sin't afraid Of a ten.scre lot
OF EN-"
He wanted to sass back. but Lc knew
me OF old lie didnt come down TO break
fast until we had finished. and lie didn't
go to church with us. Ierpected he'd be
up to some dodge or other while we were
gone. and told the cook TO keepan eye on
him. IL was we'll that Ibid. lie planned to
clean out the furnace and paint the kitchen
door while was gone. but the cook had his
paint and pretended TO be afraid Of gas
explosion down cellar. aud he contentcd
himself with trying TO tune tic piano and
moving a bedstead. When he sat down TO
dinner, he started IN TO hnd fault with the
roast. but bclc up my finger and looked
over at him and said
"Benjamin. II you don't like roast beef.
you probably know where you can go and
buy mutton stew"
In the afternoon I heard him telling
Amanda that he guessed he'd 60 down to
the club and roll few games OF ienpins.
bu, when he was ready 10 start was al
the front door to say:
No, you don't Benjamin. This house
doesn't send half the family TO church In
the forenoon and the other hall TO bowl.
ing alley in the afternoon You are sup
posed to be = shining example in thi.
neighborhood. and you'll continue TO shine
while I'm around. II wouldn't hurt you a
bit TO sit down and sec what the print of q
bible Is like. but u you are afraid OF hurting
your eyes you might play with the cat"
expected he'd walk of. but he didn't
lie sat down and read the newspaper for
two hours or more. and ! hardly blamed
him when he finally got up and wandered
out into the back yard. had lost sight OF
him for half an hour when I went out and
found him bargaining with a man for six
fowls In a coop on a wagon. The man wa.
a chicken buyer who had barn near by
and the fowls hnd been left over from the
Saturday market.
What is a. Benjamio2" I asked as
put myself forward. which ! claim is the
pefogative Of every mother in law.
I'm going TO keep hens and have frcst
eggs he replied. "i'Il gets man to build
= coop tomorrow
"Oh. no. sou won't Benjamin. Firstly
tf apiece tor hens Is too much: secondly
you've tried two or three times. and youi
fresh eggs cost you about o. each thirdly
all these fowls you are dickering for ar,
roosters, and roosiers Won't lay eggs ever
for you. Forget IL. son in.iaw. and com,
into the house
DO yon let your mothcr-in-lew ran 20,
this wsy'" asked the chicken man as HI
bfisticd up with anger a. my ntcff renee.
"fIe does I says lie doesht want to
bot hs las to submit
"t'n be hanged II will" shouts ny son
IN law. but right there ! took him by th,
collar and led him into the yard and said =
Don't t'y IL on me Benjamin not thf
Sunday eve. You know me of old. an,
you know that when ! call break away
you've got to do H. Wei now 60 into fh,
house and have heart TO heart talk abou
your collar buttons.
Mr Bowser tried different tack a. tea
time. Instead Of 6udins fault with thing
lie put up lip like boy ten yesrs old an'