The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1902-11-27
THE AMERICAN CIRCUS.
Humor and Truth Combined
BY a Michigan1er.

w. II. Andrews, of Grand Rap.
ids, Mich, at a recent toast, got off
the following appeal to the Fill
pinos.
"You Fillipinos don't know
what youare missing by not want
ing to become citizensof this grand
country of ours. There ism t any
thing like it under the sun. You
ought to send delegation over to
see us-the land of the free-land
of fine churches and 10000 IL
censed saloons; Bibles, forts and
guns, houses of prostitutions,
millionaires and paupers; theolo-
gians and thieves; liberalists and
liars; politicians and poverty
Christians and chain gangs
schools and scalawags; trusts and
tramps; money and misery; homes
and hunger; virtue and vice;a land
where you can get a good Bible
for fifteen cents or bad drink of
whiskey for five cents; where we
have man in Congress with three
wives and a lot in the penitentiary
for having two wives; where some
men make sausage out of their
wives and some want to eat them
raw; where we make bologna out
of dogs, canned beef out of horses
and sick cows, and corpses out of
the people who eat it, where we
put man in Jail for not having
the meaps of support and on the
rock pile for asking for a job of
work; where we license brawdy
houses and fine men for preach
ing Christ on the street corners
where we have a Congress of 400
men to make laws and a supreme
court of nine men to set them
aside; where good whiskey makes
bad men and bad men make good
whiskey; where newspapers are
paid for suppressing the truth
and made rich for teaching lie;
where professors draw their con-
victions from the same place they
do their salaries; where preach
ers are paid S25, 900 a year to
dodge the devil and tickle the ears
of the wealthy; where business
consists of getting hold of pro-
perty in any way that won't land
you in the penitentiary where
trusts hold up and poverty holds
down. where men vote for what
they don't want, for fear they
won't get what they do want by
voting for it; where 'niggers' can
vote and women can't; where
girl who goes wrong is made an
outcast and her male partner
flourishes as gentleman; where
women wear false hair and men
dock their horses tails where
the political wire puller has dis
placed the patriotic statesman ;
where men vote for athing one day
and 'cuss it 364 days; where we
have prayers on the floor of our
National Capitol and whiskey in
the cellar; where we spend $500
to bury statesman who is rich
and so to put away working
man Who is poor; where to be
virtuous is to be lonesome and to
be honest is to be a crank; where
we sit on the safety valve of ener.
gy and pull wide open the throttle
OF conscience; where gold is sub
stance-the one thing sought for;
where we pay $4,000 for a dog,
and Is cents a dozen to poor
woman for making shirts; where
we teach the 'untutored' Indian
eternal life from the Bible and kill
him off with bad whiskey; where
we put "a man in Jail for stealing a
loaf of bread and in Congress for
stealing a railroad; where the
check book talks, sin walks in
broad daylight, justice is asleep,
crime runs amuck, corruption
permeates our whole social and
political fabric, and the devil
laughs from every street corner.
Come to US, Fillies we've got the
greatest aggregation of good
things and bad things, hot things
and cold things, all sizes, varieties
and colors, ever exhibited under