davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
BRIGHT BITS.

-Clerk-We've burned up the last of
the diamonds in the stove.
Proprietor-Then put on small piece
of coal.-Chicago Daily News.
-strappes-Five pounds for a bon
net! Madam. it is a crime!
Mrs. Swell. the crime will be on
my own head.-Glasgow Evening
Times.
is this the managing editora''
Yes" well. 1 wish you'd kindly add
my name to the list of those who can
not settle the coal strike-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Parvenu-And then the whole
awful story got into the papers.
Mrs. Besnthere--Oh, well, matters
might be still worse. 1t might have
been misunderstanding
Your mamma" said Papa Moth
to his eldest son, "is the giddiest in
sect know" "Why. papa?" "she is
continually attending camphor balls"
Detroit Free Press.
Several streets in New York were
open last week for the convenience of
SiAN PObiiN' HIS, llOWGNSI, VIII De Iully
remedied as soon as the rush back to
town begins.-I.ife.
DO you believe that monkeys can
talk like human beings?'s mo" an
swered Miss Cayenne; 'but I have
known human beings who could chat
ter like monkeys. Washington Star.
Well Trained-Old Lady (to boy
who has fetched her glass of water)
THANK you, my boy. You were very
quick about it.
Roy-That's nothin' ma'am. I'm
used to it. l had a job carrying water
to the elephants in a circus.-Pick-M Me-
Up.
Look at Miss Gaswell as she sits
on the sand in her bathing suit" ex =
claimed a Pittsburgher at Atlantic
City. She is pretty enough to eat
That's what she is" assented his
nearer. 'She is regular sand
witch. "-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
-Ascum-I notice Mr.. Kloseman has
become regular attendant at church.
When did he get religion?
Browne-He didn't. It's just business
with him. He leaned the Rev. Mr.. Cas-
saWay hundred dollars some time
ago, and he's had to take it out in pew
rent.-Philadelphi Press.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
How She Crushed Him.

At the transfer deck of a large de-
partment store yesterday several wo-
men were waiting for the clerk to at
tend to their bills. says the Philadel-
phia Record. Suddenly a flashing-eyed
man rushed up and thrusting himself
between the waiting women and the
desk he said to the clerk:
NOW, miss, I'm a business man and
l want quick attention. / haven't got
time to sit around waiting on a lot of
bargain-hunting women. l paid regu-
lar prices for these goods and | want
you 10 attend 10 me al once"
Before the clerk could reply a large,
firm faced woman spoke up.
If you're business man, mister"
she said, ''all I've got TO say Is that /
don't like your business Now I'm a
bargain hunting woman and / got eV-
erything ] bought at bargain prices,
bat ! was here before you and I cal
culate 20 get settled up before you. and
] think / speak for the other ladies'.
You may just as well settle yourself
down in thaf bench ~ wait for hair
aga hour Tor there are seven ladies here
ahead ~ YOU and the clerk VIII serve
uH nrFf ~ an have The manager ~
thc store down here in q tWinkiinR. Do
you understand
Fhe man apparently understood f0r
hf iild his transfer ilsf ou fhe oaun-
irf $3.50 remarked. lu very mpch sub
aaei zone
F4rss f.H uke another look
afaUHa tar FtYre au8 mHgaf 300 HlIi
h4sr Wt sNi wsdY ehen i go batk f"
aNfH Nt esssH Anab
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Special Notices-ship Notice, j. F.
Minis & Co, Agents; Ship Notice,
Chr G. Dahl & Co. Consignees; Beef
Veal, Etc at Gardner's: Best Meats,
Etc, at Joyce's; Dinner Bill of Fare
Union Station Restaurant.
Business Notices-Dove Hams, A
NJ. & c. w. West; New Mackerel,
S. w. Branch Co.
Special Saturday Prices-At Eek
STEMS.
Mems Fall Hats-B. H. Levy & Bro
Railroad Schedule-Savannah Elec-
trio Company.
Amusements-"D Auction" at
Theater, Matinee and Night.
Hotel-Hotel Grenoble, New York
City.
Auction Observation-Disclosures Sale,
by I. D. LaRoche. Auctioneer.
Pens-Esterbrook Pens.
Grape Nuts Food-Postum Cereal
Company.
Sept. 13-Get 1t at Rowlinskis.
Beers-A. B. c. Beers.
Before Cold Weather Comes-Solo-
mons Company.
Medical-Lyd'a Pinkham Vegetable
Pills: DR. Hathaway Company; Smith
Kidney Cure; TUFTS Pills.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale: Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Baltimore American (Rep.)
says Every city suffers more or
less by neglect of public duty on the
part of the better element of its citi-
zenship. St Louis had paid a some
what severe penalty, but it will not be
without its benefits If there and else
where il causes such a quickening of
sentiment that good men, honorable
and honest will be placed in public
office. to the rigid exclusion of all
other classes"
The Louisville Courier Journal
(Dem.) says: while the st. Louis
case is not novel only In some of its
details. it shows the length TO which
such offenders will go when long inn
munity has emboldened them. The
lesson IL just the same as that of
many other such abuses that have
come 10 light, namely, the need Of
constant vigilance on the part Of the
people 10 hold their representatives. TO
a strict accountability"
The New York Mail and Express
(RepJ. ia reference 10 the Terrence
proposition. says, There have been
reunions spectacular and senumen-
tai of the blue and the gray, IN the
North and the South. Veterans who
fought fer the Union have been en-
teffninrd by veterans who fought for
ne Acknowledgement 90 the capital city
~ the ConfedefAcy The men who
survived lie krfts charge base elasped
hands uu fhe neid ~ Gettysburg Wlth
those Hho reuuisea fhaf aHprsme e.
foW ~ HaHfhHfn courage Thsrs
mfrflufs af mfn aha eau beet 8ppfn.
Hlan Hr6 respect fhrlf mutuHl Na8of
anf naH supn.nmfulef OBJ an appeal
unprecedented bat #uf0y ef gem
80 EssksNee
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
THE MEAT PACKERS DEFIANT.

Whether or not the meat packers are
now in a trust may be an open ques-
ton. They say they are not, but the
government says they are. and has
brought a suit against them to test
the question. Bat whatever their
present status may be there is no
doubt, it seems. as TO their purpose
TO become a trust in the near flu
ture.
One of the leading Chicago papers
is authority for the statement that
all of the great packing houses are
to be merged into one big corporation
or trust Is not this practically an
announcement that it defies the gov
eminent to stop them from forming a
trust? 1t certainly looks so. 1t is a
pretty high-handed piece Of business
on the part of the meat packers to
form a trust while a suit is pending
against them to break up a trust they
are supposed to be in at the present
time.
No doubt the packers have taken
advice from the very best lawyers in
the country and are satisfied that the
government cannot interfere to pre-
vent them from merging their inter-
ests. Evidently the present. antitrust
law is no barrier to the kind of trust
they propose to form. 1t is not at
all likely that they would deliberately
violate the law.
1t seems that the proposed merger
is to go into effect on the last Satur-
day of this month, if nothing occurs
to prevent present plans from being
carried into effect, and it will be- a
trust second only to the United States
Steel corporation in Importance.
Will it be able to control the prices
of live stock and meats? That will
depend of course upon whether or not
the merger includes practically all of
the great packing houses. From the
dispatch which we published from
Chicago the inference is that all the
packing houses-all that are of much
mportance-will be in the combine
If the trust should be oppressive
should charge unreasonable prices for
meat-it is a safe prediction that there
would be such a pressure brought to
bear upon Congress that there would
be antitrust legislation of the most
drastic character.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
THE MORNING NEWS is published

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and served e
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail
at 20 cents . month. $500 Tor six
month, and $500 for ore year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times week (without Sunday issue).
three months. $3.50; six months. $500;
one year. $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week CMonGay and Thursday, by mail.
one year. 500.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order. check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column, local or reading no.
tees, amusements and cheap or want
OF agate type-equal to one inch in
depths the standard of measure
meDt. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 210. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner, Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
A washervvoman's Ruse.

When I came to New York six
months ago." said the girl with the
pretty shirtwaist, according to the New
York Times, II looked about me and
said, All men are cheats. In making
this assertion l was not prejudiced in
favor of my own sex. 1 meant the
masculine term to include the whole
human race, for, so far as l had been
able to judge, the women were just as
big cheats as the men.
After I had been here a couple of
weeks l granted an exception in favor
of my washerwoman. She must be an
honest old SOUL l said, because she
charges such big prices. If she charged
q reasonable amount, 1 would think
that she was trying to work me on the
sly, but so long as she comes right out
and robs me in broad daylight, she
must be square
She gave a very reasonable eXplana-
ton of her exorbitant demands. I
don't do washing for anybody but you,
honey, she said, and that certainly
ought to be worth several cents extra
on each garment for a nice, fastidious
little body like you who,it is plain to be
seen, have never been used to having
your pretty clothes mixed up in the
wash with James and Sallie's and Mol
lies coarse muslin rags
The old blarney struck a tender
chord then, for if l have any particular
weakness it is my aversion for a mis-
cellaneous wash. From the first l had
expressed a preference for a woman
who could afford to become my own
special laundress, so under the circum
stances, l considered it advisable to
accede to her terms, even though they
were far in advance Of the prices asked
nv a laundry nf,a Ipcc QVHIICiVa h.
erwoman.
For four months she drained my
purse each week to the tune of about
81, and then one lucky day 1 unearthed
her duplicity. 1 happened to be over
on Columbus avenue on some Grand
and when passing a laundry whose
window was filled with freshly ironed
shirtwaists I noticed that three of the
waists, which were of a peculiar pat
tern, looked suspiciously like mine. I
went in and asked the proprietor to
whom they belonged.
g Mis- Brown said he, of Amster-
dam avenue, near Sixty-thi street
Il nearly collapsed, for there was no
doubt that his Mrs. Brown and my
Mrs. Brown were one and the same
person. How much do you charge her
for laundering these waists?' l asked
Fifteen cents apiece said he.
And she charges me 25 cents I
groaned.
1.-The laundryman grinned. ooh, 1
wouldn't mind that he said. That's
an old trick with most of these washer
women whose customers want exclu
sive service. Nine times out of ten
they turn. the work over to a laundry
and pocket the differeTIce in price
without having to crook their finger
" And that is the finish of my one
honest woman in New York IaAsaid.
TIL fire her tonight
"And I did. Since then I have been
sending my clothes direct to the laun-
dry, thereby saving about SOC. a week"
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
LONGER TERMS AND BETTER
SCHOOLS.

In Putnam county. it is stated, there
IS a great educational revival, the
! chief purpose of which is to bring
! the people in line for the Inaugural
ton of a nine months term for the
schools of the county, and a general
up-lift in all educational work" The
/ movement is one of the best that could
be started by any community, and it
deserves the highest measure of sue
cess. 1t ought TO be followed in every
country county in the state. a sim
liar movement has been noted in
North Carolina and elsewhere, and the
Southern and the General Educational
boards are doing what they can TO as
sist it.
Under our present school system the
rural sections are split into small
school districts, with the result that
the terms are very short and the pay
of the teachers small. The small dis
tricts may be a little more convenient
for the children, by reason of the
shorter distances to be Travelled to
the school houses; but whatever adj
vantage there may be in this direction
is far more than counterbalanced by
the shortness of the term and the I'M
satisfactory progress made in the ed
ucaAon of the pupils. Almost as soon
as the children get into the routine
of school work and begin learning,
the funds run out and the school must
be closed. Then teachers are thrown
out of employment and must look else
where for a means of livelihood. The
bad effects of this system are felt by
the teachers as well as the children.
The teachers cannot afford to adopt
teaching as a profession, on account
of the shortness of the period their
services are in demand and the small
annual returns. hence they are unable
to perfect themselves in the arts of
pedagogy.
What is needed in the rural sections
is a consolidation of several small
school districts into one large one.
That would give more money for the
school, permit of it's being kept open
six, seven, eight or nine months, and
enable the trustees to make a selec-
ton of teachers and get the best. If,
under this system of consolidated dis
tricts, the county would tax itself
a little for a fund to supplement the
fund drawn from the state for school
purposes, excellent schools might be
built up in every county in the state
schools that would compare favorably
with those of the cities. 1t is true
that the larger district would make
it necessary for some of the children
to walk longer distances, but the benz
efits of the improved school would be
so great that neither parents nor chill
dren would regret the extra distance
to be covered. In Wisconsin the con-
solidated district school has been triea.
and it has worked so we'll that the
people could not be induced to go back
to the old system of neighborhood
schools.
We hope to see the proposed plan
tried in Putnam county. We are con-
fident that once tried it would be siren
uously adhered to, and that other
counties would take it up. The con-
solidated school would be worth it's
cost even if patrons living several
miles away. too far for the children
to walk, dubbed together and hireo
a wagon and team to take the little
folks to and from school.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

Hello, is this Justice of the Peace
Henry Bundy?" asked the clerk of
the Board of Health of Jersey City
yesterday aver the telephone, accord
ing to the New York American.
1T is was the cheerful reply,
what can I do for you?''
We'll, judge, I have here a certifi-
cate filed in our office to-day stating
that on Saturday Henry Bundy of No.
100 Academy street, Jersey City, which
is your name and address, was mar
ried to Mrs Mary Becker, widow, of
No. 144 Pavonia avenue, of the same
city, and what puzzles me is that the
certificate is signed by Justice of the
Peace Henry Bundy as the official
who tied the knot. Looks to me like
a huge practical joke. How about it,
Judge?"
"The certificate is all right, young
man. I was both bridegroom and
minister" came the reply, with a Sc
: ries of subdued chuckles following it,
but quite audible above the whirr of
the telephone.
well, I'll be hanged" cried the
clerk. you have my congratulations,
and 1 hope you will pardon me for
troubling you about it, for you will
admit that it was rather a peculiar
affair."
mot at ALL" said the judge. ST have
a perfect right to marry myself But
you are forgiven. Good-by."
you see,' said Justice Bundy later
to an American reporter, Mrs. Beck
er was the widow of an old friend of
mine. / called on her on Saturday
evening and succeeded in convincing
her that I would make her a good
husband, in spite of my seventy-two
years. Then I suggested there was
no time like the present.
"'Why wait, Mary, dear?' I asked.
"Harry' she said, I'm afraid of
the publicity
Just then Mrs Mary Spangler and
Mrs. Mary Smithers, her two married
| daughters, came m and l put it up to
them that l could perform the cere-
mony myself, being a justice of the
! peace and quite used to tying matri-
monial knots. Finally L convinced
| them and they agreed to act as wit
nesses. Then we adjourned to the
parlor and in a few minutes Mrs.
| Becker had changed her name to Mrs.
| Henry Bundy."
| performed with the bridegroom stand
| ing before the mirror, as explained by
the Justice:
DO you, Mary Becker, take this
man (me), to be your lawgul welded
| husband?" yes"
And do you, Henry Bundy point
| ing to himself), take this woman to
be your lawgul welded wife?"
Il do replied the justice to himself
Then 1, Justice of the Peace Henry
| Bundy, by the powers conferred up
on me by the constitution, do pro-
nounce you, Henry Bundy, and you,
| Mary Becker, to be man and wife"
The justice Their congratulated the
| bride and himself and everybody else
| congratulated him.
The happy pair are now living at
! the home of Justice Bundy. He serv-
ed in the Civil War and has the rank
/ of major.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

The strenuous determination with
which the representatives of Ameri-
can journalism are accustomed to up
hold the ideals of human liberty is now
having pathetic illustration in Eliza
beth City. n. j., where Editor II. o.
Saunders of the Tar Heel is now serv-
ing a term in jail The local Board
of Alderman passed an ordinance maxi
ing 1t misdemeanor for any one to
smoke cigarettes in the street and
Saunders openly violated IL. When
he was arrested and fined. he refused
TO pay and was sent 10 Jail There
he languishes. a martyr TO conviction
and cigarettes. Does he hope 10 have
his name posted up with those OF the
earlier Americans who refused 70
drink teaY
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

One of the big liners of the Red Star
Line, sailing between New York and
Antwerp. has been equipped to use oil
as a fuel. Gradually oil is making its
way as a competitor of King Coal. Old
Mother Nature is kind TO her children
in offering an occasional way of escape
from the trusts, although it must be
confessed she is usually worsted in the
resulting combat
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

The former American soldier VII
liam Tollwho had enlistsd IN the Eng
ish army and confessed Do London a.
AM alleged murder he had committed
BOB Kansas city. has been given Dos
liberty 80 such murder az D. de-
sefihoa had ever been committed 8nd
fhe aafhorlfias reacha8 the conclusion
hs NsH simply HyipE to SECURE fr.e
transportation fo fhf eide 81 fae A.
laHHr lt has fafhrf uH Ingenious
sehsme aHa q aa0Ht aimoet q llty i
falifa a. Hefk
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

The New Hampshire Democrats, re-
Gently in convention, have left the
Kansas City platform without word
of either praise or blame. 1t is ignored
and live issues, like the enforcement
of existing laws against the trusts, the
reduction of the tariff and reciprocity
with Cuba are demanded. We agree
with our New Hampshire friends that
it is time to wage aggressive warfare
and not to waste energies in the at
tempt to resurrect a departed party
shibboleth
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

A Northwestern University profess
sor has announced his belief that
Mars. Venus. Mercury and millions of
ether planets, outside of our solar sys-
TEN, are inhabited. He is further of
the opinion that the inhabitants of
these other worlds are ages in advance
of us in intelligence. AS it increases
the already formidable array of things
we have no possible method of finding
out, this latest revelation" Of science
is rather depressing.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

Life has not been all beer and slit-
ties for the head of the Salvation
Army. With one exception all of his
the organization he heads. Despite
its somewhat spectacular methods. the
army unquestionably does much
good, in quarters where more ortho-
dox religionists fail TO penetrate. 1t
is pathetic that the old man who or
ganized and perfected the Salvation
fires IN almost every country of the
globe should find his efforts unaided
and likely to be unprecedented by
those OF his own blood.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

The IRE in the Beaumont, Tex, oil
field. which az one time threatened a
great disaster, has, happily. been
brought under control. The loss Is
estimated 10 BE- about $4,000 When
she FIRE WAS aercest there were appre-
tensions that an Of the wells would
b. destroyed. o. has been only q week
o. two since there was a similar fire
Oh the Louisiana On aeid The fire
there Nas hereer ana more alineult %
go under oqntol than The one "a
beaumont, Clearly There d need IN
kreaf caution in fhc use of matches
ana .HpteHs whefe fhe Nround b sai-
nfAte4 wha hlHhiy nnumabia cub,
sispee ~ q 49, ease ln ihe ga nelaa.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

A man who is q Populist. has gone
without a bath for thirty months and
and changes his shirt only every three
weeks is being sued by his wife for
divorce. She makes these allegations
the grounds of her petition, in addition
to the fact that he reads aloud to her
from Populist papers, and relies upon
them to secure a verdict. 1t seems to
us she has an entirely good case.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

A negro who was recently sold fol
vagrancy at shelbyville, KY, was
bought by member of his own race
for 81 The market has declined since
the good old DAYS. before the war.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

The city ~ Baltimore b. now en-
gagged 10 an experiment Nlth the com-
pulsory education las, by which ehu-
dren between the oRes ~ 3 and l6 are
a. ~ requlred to attend school Tho
question 3 ons tbut has been fhs sub.
Baes ~ much aeasemie discussion
and fhs aetua operation ~ fb, Jas ln
eity tht Exs "a Baltimore nAN 49,
nairhea Ngih lntsifat
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13
The weather.

The indications for Georgia to-day
are rain. cooler in interior, fresh south
to west winds; and for Eastern Flor
ida, showers. cooler at night in north
ern portions, fresh winds, mostly north.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

1t is interesting news, that our dis
patches conveyed yesterday morning,
that Gen. Fitzhugh Lee has accepted
the presidency of the jamestown Ter
centenary Exposition. The first
planting of an English colony on these
shores is an event worth celebrating
and it is fortunate that Gen. Lee.
whose enterprise and force of character
have been proven on many diverse
fields Of effort, and achievement, is to
be at the head of the enterprise.
The Savannah morning news., 1902-09-13

That troubles never come sinely
seems to be especially true of the ISL
and Of Cuba. In addition TO the fnan-
cial difficulties with which the new re-
public is struggling. bandits are now
reported to be overrunning the island.
terrifying the people and laughing at
the rural police. We recognize some
thing familiar in the story when we
read that the bandits receive the pro-
lection of prominent politicians in
Havana.