The Birmingham age-herald., 1902-06-15
Why He Quitthe River
sror, tbe st. I<ouis Globe-Democrat.


 From the St, Louis Globe-Democrat.
 what Caused Mark Twain to Leave the River, or Why a Great Humorist Did Not Become Second Jim Bludso.' is one of the books that have never been written by Samuel L. Clemens or any one else. So far as known the story has never even anpeared in print although 1t Is vouched for by several of the old rivermen who have the yarn-spinning habit.
 According to these authorities Mark Twain never became a full-fledged pilot and never stood a night watch alone In other words while he had pilots license h.s mastery of the great river craft on which he rode was always limited by the understanding that an older and more experienced head was within easy call. This was no discredit to the young pilot
 On the occasion in question, 1t matters not what the year or boat, the steamer to which young Clemens was attached as cub pilot was bound up stream with heavy cargo of cotton. At the officers table the first day out from Natchez, Miss, the talk turned upon what to do in sudden emergencies, and especially in case of fire on a steamer loaded with cotton The matter was discussed in all Its bearings, each of those present giving his Ideas upon the subject Mark Twain like most of the others. held to the notion that it was the pilots duty in such an emergency to emulate the now famous Jim Bludso and hold her nozzle to the bank till the last galoot's ashore I'm mediatly after dinner Clemens went to the pilot house to stand his watch.
 Among those at the table was the assis tant engineer, a young man whose exper fence of life had taught him to doubt tn ability of human nature to carry out tn projects of It's more boastful moments He went below at the same time Mar Twain went aloft but the two continue to think of the conversation just closed The more the engineer thought of 1t thu less credit he was disposed to give to tn, cub pilots scheme. however nice 1t might appear in poetry or the newspapers,
 As every one knows the pilot house and engine room of a steamboat are connect ed. not only with bells for signalling, but with speaking tube through which the important functionaIies who operate above and below can discuss the weather and politics in their spare moments. The mouth of the tube at the upper end Is but little larger than the human mouth, but in the engine room it has the shape of a funnel as large as a half-bushel measure. While the assistant engineer was ponder ing the emergency question he was also wfping off portion of the machinery with a bunch of cotton waste and as he reached the mouth of the speaking tube 1t was but the work of a moment to touch match to the inflammable material in his hand and thrust 1t far into the tube
 No one saw the act but everybody on board heard from 1t .n about q minute Mark Twain, alone in the pilot house and still pondering the dire things he had heard from the older hands about the horrors of burning steamboats, especially when they happened to be loaded with cotton was mortified to see smoke pour Ing from his end of the speaking tube. There was but one thought in his mind. The boat was on fire Dropping the wheel which spun around and around as 1t left his hand he grasped the rope by which the big bell was sounded and began pull Ing like sexton. at the same time rais- ing his voice in a cry of Fire Fire! The boatc afire!' Here the officers of the boat and the passengers are said to have found him. after hurriedly ascertainine that the alarm was false, still valorously determined to save the ship" The boat relieved of the rudder's guidance, had 1T the meanwhile swung around in the cur rent and dashed full speed on a sand bar from which 1t required half day to dra, her. And Mark Twain. having lost hi nerve loft he rit,ar