Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1902-10-02
WON BY A SIXTEENTH.
A Close Game Of Baseball Umpired by
an Accurate Man

Back in the days when / was connect
ed with the Lightfoot Lilies we had con-
tests that were 50 close they fairly stined.
TAKE the Jones county championship of 81
for example. I'm the final game we de-
feated the Rngtail roarers by score
of lis to 0. Now that was close.
Impossible you say? Not at all. This
fractional score was made possible by the
mathematical precision of the decisions
rendered by that prince of all umpres, old
Doc Quackenbush. l.
ICY Priest YVES pitching for the home
team and it's only just to say right here
that even II he was a Ringtal Roarer he
was probably the speeSliest twirler that
ever shot the pill over the pie. why he
pitched so fast that an ordinary umpire
had to keep his eyes wide open to see the
tall go by, let alone being able to tell
whether it went over the plate or not.
"The scoring was all done in the begin
ming of the first inning. Bull Thompson.
our heavy hitting backstop. selected a we'll
seasoned log Of lignum vitae from among
the Lilies bats and staggered to the
plate.
las he DOTTED his cap in response to the
deafeninG applause that greeted him the
raspine sound of tearing flannel rent the
air and an abnormaly developed bceps
burst through his right shirt sleeve. Bull
Thompson was in prime condition in 81.
ICY Priest htched his trousers and drew
ly. Zip! came the ball. Crack went the
bat against 1t. and moment later cloud
of dust was chasing the Bull toward first.
Murray he's safev shouted the Lily
rooters rs the Bull crossed first well be-
fore the ball reached there"
Safe nothin'; he's outr cried the Roar
ers, sprnging to their feet nd pointing to
the shortstop, who had just gobbed IN
fly that seemed to have come from the
Bull S bat.
I'VE couldn't understand it: were there
two balls?
Doc Quackenbush rushed over and ex-
amined the ball that the shortstop had
just caught. Then ne ran over to first
and grabbed the ball which the first base
man was trying to hide smile Of in
telligence illumined his face.
Ladies and gentlemen he began. nd
dressing the grand stand, "A most I'M
usual problem has presented itself to me in
my official capacity of umpire. Mr..
Thompson hit the ball so hard that he has
split it In two pieces. Half Of 1t was
caught on the fly. The other half he beat
out to first. After a careful diagnosis Of
the ease the only just decision, believe is
to declare Mr.. Thompson half out at first
AT this unusual solution OF the case a
general buzz of excitement broke out all
over the field.
Then make the half Of him that's out
get off the base demanded Cy Priest. who
was captain Of the Roarers. :" object to-
Iardon me- Doc Quackenubush inter-
ruted. 1 did not say half OF the runner
was all out; ! said all Of the runner was
half out. Therefore,
Mi. there He's making for second"
the Roarers yelled. Throw the ball.
Quick.
They looked around just in time to see
the shortstop clap his half of the ball on
the Bull as the latter was sliding for sec
ond
well. he's out now. anyhow Cy said.
Put the Bull evidently thought other
wise, for the next instant he had picked
himself up and was tearing toward third.
The shortstop. all excitement. slung the
half ball he had over to the third baseman,
and the Bull was once more touched out.
In the meantime Doc Quackenbush had
taken out his pencil and was making light
ming calculations on his cuff
What in the name of Simplicity Jeffer-
son are you doing now?' demanded Cy,
turning on the umpire. DO you mean to
say that that man isn't out YETI
He is exactly seven eighths out at
present Doc replied calmly. He still
has one-eighth to the good
What do you think we are playing
anyway? Baseball or arithmetic?'
Come here. and I'll prove it for YOU
THE Doc pulled up his other sleeve and
began figuring on that cuff.
Half out at first, he began Remain
ing half put out at second !. of l.. making
a. This y makes for third where it is
again reduced y, leaving but Is, and there
goes that eighth by lingo"
True enough, Bull Thompson. still one
eighth to the good, was sprinting for
home as If his mother-in-law was after
him. The third basoman socked the half
ball which he had down to the catcher
Throw your half, too you dummy"
Cy yelled at the first baSeman