West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1902-04-17
Old MAN BQNSER.
Tackles job Of Spring Painting
And Adorns The Front Fence
With a Coat Of Pea Green
HAS A FIGHT AND GETS LICKED
As USUAL.


his usual rush for the corner and the
O'Clock car. Noting her disturbed look. he
finally said
Il have decided to give myself hoiida,
to-day. That is. am going TO stay home
and do a little work"
Are you going to meddle with the gas
metcri" she anxiously quericd
mo. lam going to give our front fence
a coat oil paint and slick up little for
spring. What color do you. think would
look bests"
Don't you think you'd better hire a reg.
ular painter and save youself any bother -
mo, ma'am. don't want day of
from the Office and like to do painting.
don't propose to have any painter hang
ing around here for month to do What !
can accomplish in day think pea
green color would harmonixc with the iron,
of the house, don't your"
II wish you would let II go. pleaded
Mrs. Dowser as she wildly recalled two
or three past experiences III you'll let
me get painter I'll pay Tor il out OF my
pin money
What In thunder is the matter with
your" shouted Mr.. Bowser as he got up.
us there going to be an earthquake or a
cyclone because paint the fences You
are as much excited as II were going 10
take the roof off the house shall paint.
The color viii be pea green. II the heav-
ems and the earth come together in conse-
quence shall hold myself blamcless." ("
During the next hour he purchased his
paint and brush and got into an old suit OF
clothes and short time later was at work
Nothing happened until he had been paint.
ing for half an hour. Then man came
along the street driving two hogs One OF
the hogs seemed to have made up his mind
to go forward and make the best OF it. but
the other was in rebellious mood. He
had no sooner come opposite MIR Bowscr
than he dashed for him and rolled him over
and then deliberately and maIiciously pro.
ceedcd TO rub his side against the painted
fence.
why. I'll kill somebody for this" cx.
claimed Mr.. Bowscr as he struggled to his
feet How dare you set hog ON me in this
fashion,"
Nobody set him on" replied tho owner.
"Iie was going along all right until he saw
you and probably took you for another
hog.
oh. he did And maybe you did the
sameS III now proceed 10 lick You within
an inch of your lifci No living man can
set hog on me and insult me aftcrward -
But there was no fight. The man had a
boil on his neck and only one lung left. and
he realized that he would be handicapped
in scrap, so he made OFF. As the hog had
passed on there was nothing for Mr.. Bow.
ser TO do but cool of lie had repaired
his broken suspender. scraped the bristIcs
off the fresh paint and got TO work again.
clerical looking man came strolling along
and halted TO say:
II think this is the street. but am not
sure OF the number. Do you happen to
know II a family named Bowscr lives along
here somcwhcreS'
THAT happens to be my name" replied
Mr.. Bowser.
'Ah-just so. have lately been called
to the church around the corner. and ]
wish to ask If you don't feel
There was the paint plain 10 be seen and
smelled. and yet the clerical man calmly
backed up and leaned against the fence
and leaned heavily against IT, lie would
have finished his sentence in good time II
MIR Bowser had not grabbed him by the
collar and lifted him OF the fence and spun
him around and Yelled
Holy smoke. but don't you know any
more than the blamed hog No; ! don't
feel, and | won't feel. and you get our OF
this"
The clerical man didn't stop to argue the
matter. but gave Mr.. Bowser one conccn-
trated look ofreproach and hurried Of az.
ter the turpentine yard OF the fence
had to be gone over again with the brush,
and twas hardly finished when a COW and
bull dog turned into the street The
COW had escaped from her stable and the
bull dog was after her. II he hadn't over
taken her and tried to make fast TO one OF
heels. she would probably have kept
straight on and taken her chances. but that
bite swerved her across tlIe sidewalk and
into Bowser's fence. and she rakcd II the
whole length aud left enough OF her winter
coat behind to stuff pillow. There was
no crowbar handy to brain tho bull dog.
and Mr. Bowscr had to take Il ont in jump
ing mp and down and swearing Il took
him some time to cool of and get to work
again and then came the old clothes man
lie was distinctly informed IN answer TO
his first yell that there were no wornoui
garments awaiting him. but he continued
his inquiries and finally took a rest on il.
lie was rubbing the pea green into his
back in the most liberal manner when Mr..
Bowser took notice and minute later
there was mlxup Halls and caps and
feet and legs got tangled in the utmost con
fusion aud when The separation came tho
old clothes man made on down thc street
with his coat torn up tho back. and len Mr..
Bowser painting.
by John, but The next critter that rube
up against this fence dies outhc spot. he
exclaimed as he picked up his brush once
more and got to work.
Then the family cat came out TO cheer
aud encourage him by her presence. aud he
had almost forgiven humanity when The
crisis came. -Four men came 40 the street
with dog troiting along ahead OF ibcSn
Il was only 60 be expected that the dog
would see the Bowscr cat and pitch in TO
her and that the -four men would sic him on.
Bowscr heard and saw and hts gorge rose.
He rose with his gorge. lie sailed into
that quartet Ike brick house falling Oh a
rabbit but nc was no Roman gladiator.