davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

in the elaborate fountains. Alphonso
Is expected TO reside here this sum-
mer for the first time in his life. and
the residents of the village are suit.
ably excited over the prospect. No
king or queen has been among them
since the death of Alphonos XII, more
than sixteen years ago.
The cathedral at Burgos delayed me
two nights, though confess to being
disappointed in everything but the oc.
tagonal dome, which IL certainly
unique.
Just a word should be said about
Bilboa, the one town in all Spain that
gives the idea of Yankee push and en-.
ergy. II is situated on the Nervion,
about eight miles from the open sea,
and contains perhaps 10000 inhabi.
tants, nine-tenths of whom are
Basques. This remarkable race is as
fond of work as the Andalusian, for in
stance, is fond Of rest. AS soon as
the train enters the Basque province
the difference is perceptible.
From Bilboa to Portugalette, at the
mouth of the Nervon, counted more
than 100 seagoing steamers, and yet
these far-seeing people have reserved
nearly all of one bank of the river for
promenade and parkway. Both
banks are walled with cut stone, max
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
"Larry- Jerome's Wit.

A friend recently put this question
to District Attorney Jerome. whose
father, Lawrence jerome, was a
celebrated wit of his day, and who
was generally spoken of among ia
miliars as Larry"
How many Of these stories that are
attributed to your father really eman-
ated from him, and how many are
fictitious?"
well" replied the District Attor.
ney, Il am not prepared to say; some
of them are undoubtedly manufactured.
but of the origin of one l am con-
WINGED, as l was one of the principal
actors. On certain occasion good
many years ago. when l was a little
chap. l was riding on my fathers
knee in Fifth avenue stage, every
other seat being taken. At a corner
lady entered, and my father said
to me in severe tones: Why, Trav-
ers. my boy am ashamed of you!
Why don't you get up and give this
lady your seatT New York Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
WOULD COME TO 1T.
seotchman's Protest Against Weak
Whisky and Water.


At a banquet given by the manu-
facturers of Pittsburg at Hotel Schen-
ley to the National Hardware associa-
ton then in session, Andrew Carnegie
had been asked to speak on the out
look for business. He lodged the
question and in doing so told this
story:
THE POSTMASTER wishes me to re-
fer to very important question" he
said, "and it may come later, like the
experience of the Scotchman who was
driving along a lonely road in the
Highlands on typical misty, bleak
Scotch day Seeing a comfortable
looking farmhouse Just ahead. it &C.
Cured to the Laird that possibly a
drop of spirits might be obtainable
there to help neutralize the effect of
the raw atmosphere. SO drawing up
alongside the gate, loud whoa
brought a Scotch lassie from the
house. Addressing her, he said:
Little girl, can | get drop or
two of some spirits to take the edge
of this cold air? Some whisky and
water, for instance
"Ill ask mither,' she said, courtesy
ing. and entered the house, reappear-
ing soon with a glass nearly filled on
a tray. Bestowing a shilling, the
Laird took the glass and sampled the
weak looking drink.
my little GIRL said he, will you
be kind enough to inform me which
your ,mitbcr put first in the glass
the whisky or the water?."---
1.-The whisky, said she, again
courtesying.
"'Ah, yes.' said he, that accounts
for 1t. I'll come to it by and bye"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
In Somewhat of a Hurry.

Harry Furniss tells of testy but
popular Scotch lecturer who, on a
tour of the Lowlands, met with a
chairman so impressed with the i'm.
portance OF his Office that, in intro.
ducing the visitor, he actually talked
to the audience for an hour. The
gathering, a large one, bore 1t all
patiently. This was the chairman's
peroration:
1T is unnecessary for me to say
more; SO, call upon the distin.
guished gentleman who has come so
far to give us his address tonight"
The gentleman who had come so
far arose. stepped forward. bowed.
pulled out and looked at his watch,
and then said:
"You want my address. 1t is 322
Rob Roy Crescent. Edinburg. A let.
ter will find me there. Good night"
Saying which he left the stage and
the hall before anybody could inter
ose.-Philadelphia Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
leaumes in Orchards.

A. A. Hinkley: For fertilizing or.
chards the value of some of the
leguminous plants is admitted, though
they are not yet in general use. The
details of their growth. cultivation
and utility are subjects for study and
consideration, that we may learn how
and when to use the different varie-
ties to the best advantage. Their roots
penetrate deep into the soil, making
or less OF the hardest substances with
which they come in contact. The
roots also support bacteria, which
have the power to change the free
nitrogen of the air into plant food.
The thick epidermis of the leaves pre-
vent rapid evaporation from their sur
faces, the heavy foliage shades the
ground. checking the loss OF moisture
by the direct action of the sun and
wind, at the same time keeping the
temperature of the soil at lower
point through thu hot months. than II
clean cul ton was used.
The COW + is the more generally
known. and different methods of cul-
tivation are practiced. The common
plan in my locality is to pillow the land,
harrow II oncs or twice and plant the
seed with a wheat drill or double row
with corn planter, then leave the
crop to take care of itself. Some
times the seed is sown broadcast on
freshly plowed land and narrowed in.
there is always some of the seed lost
by this method in a dry time. After
the plants are strong enough to resist
the teeth of the implement in use.
they might be narrowed or gone over
with a weeder to advantage.
claim better results are obtained
by thorough preparation Of the seed
bed. than planting in rows, abou' thir-
ty inches apart and cultivating shall
low, keeping the surface level, until
they shade the ground. think the
difference in yield is more marked ON
poor land than on land well supplied
with humus, even then the seed saved
and the benefit to the soil of good cul-
tivation Is worth considering. Plant
ing this way one bushel of seed will
be sufficient for four to six acres. The
seed should not be planted until the
ground is in condition to terminate
1t without delay. The COW pea Is
from warm climate and the seed
will rot sooner than corn In a cool,
damp SOIL
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Shade In Pastures.

From Farmers Review: am on
the point of creating a COW pasture
out of stump land. Can any reader
of the Farmers Review tell me what
Is the best kind Of trees to use for
pasture shade? | think trees are bet
ter than sheds for the reason that
they permit the passage of air be-
meath them in all directions. pro-
pose to establish few groves Of
trees here and there. hope to hear
from some one through the columns
of the Farmers Review. II. Scott.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

Hadn't Forgotten an Old Trick.
Miss Helen Gould was out calling
the other day"
''Well?"
"She left her card at one place
where the lady OF the house was out.
The servant who waited on the door
was once the cashier of New York
bank"
go on"
"He looked at the card and then a:
the lady"
What did he do them"
Drew out fountain pen and wrote
certified across the face Of the carl
and put his initials under It."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
GEN. BELL FOOLED THE oRAss
Made verdure Think the Moisture
Came from Heaven.

Made verdure Think the Moisture
Came from Heaven.
When Gen. j. Franklin Bell, who
recently succeeded in restoring peace
to the Island of Samar, P. l., was
adjutant of the Seventh cavalry, Fort
Riley, Kansas, where he was stationed,
was in an incomplete state. The bar
racks, stables, administration build
ings and officers quarters were newly
constructed and rather luxurious for
an army post, but of lawns and shade
trees there were none.
To obtaining these Bell applied him
self with his usual vigor. By trans
planting alternately elm and cotton
wood trees he had the shade problem
in fair way Of solution, but the
soil of Kansas proved obdurate as to
grass, so that after repeated coats
OF fertilizer and daily sprinklings.
only scant growth of verdure was
produced.
One evening group of officers
coming from the artillery post, were
amazed to see Bell on the roof of
his house with the hose in his hands
sprinkling the lawn. After gazing at
him for few minutes one of them
called out:
81 say, Bell. what are you trying to
do up there?"
Bell looked at the group and con
tinuing his sprinkling, answered:
when you sprinkle the lawn from
the ground the grass won't grow be,
cause the moisture don't come the way
nature sends It," Then In a tone
tinged with anger, he added: 81 be
lieve the grass knows it, too, but, by
the great horned spoon, I'm going to
fool that cursed grass"
And he did it, too. for Fort Riley
had in few years as fine lawn as
at any army post in the country.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
A Man Of His Word.

"You know, he promised her II
she'd marry him she wouldn't have
to cook anything"
II didn't think he could keep ser.
want girl"
He couldn't; but his promise held
good. He lost his job shortly after
the wedding and then she didn't have
anything to cook"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Grandson of Gen. Grant.

Algernon Sartoris, grandson Of
Gen. Ulysses s. Grant, is to enter the
army. Young Sartoris Is 2S years old.
fine, strapping, athletic fellow. He
is ambitious to serve in the foreign
branch Of the army. He was educated
at Oxford university. During the
Spanish war he served on the staff Of
Gen. Fitzhugh Lee as a captain of vol.
unteers.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Goat Wanted.

Wifey (who is doing her own cook.
ing now)-"I can't seem to make lit
tie enough of anything. wish some
poor hungry creature had what we
have left every day"
Hubby (who hasn't much appetite
lately)-"Yes, we ought to keep o
goat. They say goat can eat any
thing"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
A Much Better plan.

Every man." said the thoughtful
theorist, Ought to keep diary. 1t
is only by keeping an actual record
of what you have done that you are
able afterward to see the mistakes
you have made and guard against a
repetition of them in the future"
"oh, If your diary is only to record
your mistakes" replied the thorough.
ly practical man, what's the matter
with turning the keeping of it over to
your wife!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
ReasonIno from Experience.

81 see that Weatherman Moore has
patented an invention to keep houses
cool in summer" said the man who
reads the papers"
"So?" queried the man who reasons
by induction. 1T must be something
on the same order as the furnace l
threw SO much coal into last winter"
Baltimore American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

81 think the 17-year locust is an in.
teresting study" observed the lady
of uncertain age.
at must be-" we answered, thought.
lessly, especially to one who has
traced them down from generation 20
generation"
But, of course, it was her own fault
that she took it personally.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
curzon Has brilliant Euturs.

Not a few observers OF things in
British public life are of opinion that
Lord Cuurzon will yet be premier of
the empire He has devoted himself
almost wholly to politics from his
early youth. and was writing books
on big problems when most young
men OF his age are on pleasure bent.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Mot 20 Be Bjuffed.

II will have to have three more
days out a week, and receive my COM
pany in the parlor," said the cook lady
firmly.
Bridget" replied the mistress Of
the house, 81 warn you not to push
me too far. You seem to forget that
belong to the Housewives union
No. Ill"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

Tess-That Miss Peppery is just
as spiteful as she can be. I suppose
you heard what she said to May on
her wedding day.
Jess-What, May? the one who
married old Mr.. de SENDER?
Tess-Yes; well. she told May she
wished them both long life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

"Do you think she is going to marry
Lord De Broke?"
very likely. understand that the
expert accountant who has been go.
ing over her fathers books has report
ed very favorably to his lordship."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

"1s not the moonlight beautiful this
EVENING"" / say to the gentleman with
the flowing hair and the expression
Of unuttered woe.
He glanced at me, at the moon. at
the scenery, and at the other SUI.
roundings with languid interest.
ut is fair-only fair" he says.
You should have seen the moonlight
effect | staged for the 'Heroines of
the Harem' extravaganza company
last season. 1t made this thing look
like a burnt match.--Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Twas Impossible.

Colonel, do you believe in dreams.
apparitions, or anything Of that sort?"
NO" he says, with emphasis, toy
ing with the mint julep. Il do not,
sub. Once had the delirium tremens,
sub, most Internally bad, sub, and |
saw snakes"
"Well?"
"Scrutinizing those reptiles closely,
sub, l saw that they were watuh
snakes. Watuh snakes! 1t was, OF
co'se, impossible!"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
A Lesson In horticulture,

Four-year-old Nellie was with her
father one day while he was hoeing
potatoes.
There were turnips on the other
side of the garden, which, of course.
never needed any hoeing, and Nellie
very earnestly asked;
Papa, how do the turnips grown
God makes them grow, my child
he answered.
We'll, that's funny" said Nellie.
81 never saw Him in here hoeing
them"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Hens That Fly.

From Farmers Review; II any OF
your readers can tell me how to pre-.
vent light fowls from flying over the
fence wish they would. 1t is little
too much trouble to have to be forever
clipping their wings. One clipping
does not do the work. or course the
top of the run can be covered, but
that is too expensive.-Mary James.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Not strenuous Enough.

why. papa" she argued, "you
known Arbuthnot never drinks. plays
cards. smokes. bets on horses. or
swears."
Eyes, I know" the rugged. unro-
mantle old man answered, "but don't
want chap for a son.in-law who
merely doesn't do things"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Negative Satisfaction.

Mr.. Brighteyes-I don't know
whether | ought to tell you, but | won
5000 from Briggs last night playing
poker.
Mrs. Brighteyes-O, how nice. Now
you can afford to get me that new
dress.
Mr.. Brighteyes-What an unreason-
able woman you are. 1t ought to be
satisfaction enough for you to know
that Mrs. Briggs won't be able to have
o new dress.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

A correspondent Of the Farmers
Review wishes some Of our readers
to give him their experiences in the
draining Of land intended for a COW
pasture. The land is low, but there
is sufficient fall to take of the water.
II possible he wishes to avoid the use
Of drain tile. A response is request.
ed,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
ENTIRELY Different,

Mrs. Timmins-"John, must say
you are the narrowest minded man I
ever saw. You rave IN idea that no
body is ever right but yourself"
Mr.. Timmins-"Better look to home.
Were you ever willing to admit that
anybody was right who differed from
your"
Mrs. Timmins-"That's an entirely
different thing, and you know 1t. John
Timmins. Boston Transcript.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

Fruit that the farmer picks from
his own vines, bushes or trees, Is far
superior for home use to that that is
purchased in the market. Market
fruit must be picked before it is at
it's best. while the fruit for the farm
er's table can be picked at its best as
IL is needed.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
copx MANS Lanquaae, roc.

81 suppose, of course, you disapproye
of the way women are copying mems
fashions?"
"Disapprove of it? Great Scott, no!
| wouldn't have it different for the
world! Why, it was as good as a
play this morning to watch and listen
to my wife when her collar stud rolled
under the chest of drawers"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

ereigns. l had learned that he was
to attend the "Salve" at one of the
smaller churches on the afternoon of
my arrival, and made haste to reach
the place.
The sight inside the edifice was most
Interesting. Lighted candles so numer-
GUS as to give the eject OF great
blaze covered the high altar. Music
by orchestral instruments was &C
companied by only one fine tenor
voice, the strain seeming at times
lively enough for dance. Gorgeously
clad priests of various grades. at
tended by boys in red, repeated the
Service. Below large image of the
Holy Virgin was a most enchanting
little figure Of Christ, at tie apparent
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
True COURAGE.

Phyllis-"Yes, he was paying at.
tention to her quite Icing time"
Blanche-"Perhaps he hadn't the
courage to propose"
Phyllis-"O, don't know. Perhaps
he had the courage not to propose"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Wanted a Home.

Irate Father-"Young man, II my
daughter marries you | will cut her
off without cent"
Suitor-"O. that's all right. sir; we
don't care so much about money: all
we expect of you is to give us good
home"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
She Knew Him.

"lf you refuse me it will kill me"
he declared.
"fIow many lives have you?" she
asked pitilessly. for she knew some
thing of his previous affairs" and
naturally reasoned that this form Of
death was no novelty to him.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Doomed.

The Count tell your fader l can
not live midout you.
The Lady-And what did he say.
Ferdinand?
The Count-He say | viii die Won
horrible death by starvation.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
A Eli Subject.

Mrs. De Jarr-Is there an idiot asy-
lum near here?
Mr.. De Jarr-I believe so.
do they take people on their own
recommendation"
MY stars How should | know7
Why?"
"oh, nothing! Only to-day got
hold of a package of my old love let
teTs."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Two Ways Of Doing II.

Say, pard, who put you on the
bum?" asked one tramp of another.
tits short story" replied the 9TH
er. "Once was happy and tried to
be rich. What is the answer in your
case?"
About the same" replied No. L.
"Once was rich and tried to be
happy"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Would Dispense with Locks.

Charles De Lesseps is quoted by
Figaro as saying that he believes
that the Americans will decide to
complete the Panama canal without
locks and that it may be opened in
six years time. To dispense with
locks would add greatly to the cost.
but it would be a vast saving in time
and trouble after the canal is opened.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Nothing polna.

How are the times?" queried the
traveller In Kentucky.
Hard! Very hard. subj" replied
the Colonel. IF you'll believe me.
sub. | neyah saw such scarcity Of
feud."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
His COMPLAINT.

Judge -" your only complaint
against this woman is that she threw
a brick at her husband?"
Complainant-"Well. yes"
Judge-"Then what business is that
of yours? She didn't throw it at
you"
Complalnant-'I know, but IL she
had she might have hit her husband,
and / wouldn't have this black eye"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Birds That Sine as They Flv.

Besides the skylark. number of
other birds sing as they fly. Among
these ara the titlark. woodlark. water
peppet. sedge warbler. willow warbler
and win chat.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
THE SPICE OF LIFE
EFFORTS OF THE FUNNY MEN TO
DRIVE AWAY DULL CARE.

Marriage As 1t Is To-day-A Lesson In
HorticuIture--Why He Thought His
Wife Should Be Satisfied-Those
Summer Tennis Men.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14
Two Kinds Of Roses.

Tom-You told me she had the COM
plexion of rose. Why. she is as sal
low as can be.
Dick-I meant a yellow rose.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

Miss Million-Mr. Bluffs serving
was marvellous!
Miss Billion-No wonder; he's
waiter at the best hotel In the city.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

Good clover hay Is hard to excel as q
feed for the dairy cow
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

ing at least fifteen miles of wall that
has been built; and at Portugalette a
flying ferry" conveys passengers and
teams across the river, so that a
bridge may not interfere with naviga-
ton.
want to speak just once more, be-
fore | finish with Spain of the uni
versal courtesy of the people, high
and low, toward Americans. Espe-
cially do | dwell upon this because
no other land among those so accessi-
BILE and little travelled offers so much
of interest to our people, and some,
no doubt, have hesitated to make the
journey since the late war.
The question is often asked. why
do people travel abroad who have not
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

A good orchard on farm will do
more to sell the farm than any other
thing of like cost.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1902-08-14

Don't give any one a piece Of your
mind; you have none to spare.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1902-08-07
GOVERNOR TO ACT
ON COURT MART

Camp Douglas, Aug. "a genera
court martial was called to assemble
at o'clock last evening to try First
Lieut.. r. J. J. Urban of Co. B, first
regiment, of Fort Atkinson. The
charge is that as officer of the guaro
Sunday he was intoxicated while on
duty. The court as detailed by the
command Of Adj. Gen. Boardman,
consisted of Capt. G.. z. Price, ,egi
mental quartermaster, as judge advo-
cate, and the members of the court
are: Col. George Graham, general in
spector of small arms practice; MAJ
G.. R. William, quartermaster; Capt.
G.. H. Mcneil, additional paymaster;
Capt. e. T. Markle, commissary OF
subsistence; Capt. E. G. Plousky.
Five witnesses, including non-com-
missioned otncers and men of the
guard, were summoned by the prose
cution.
The evidence was handled cleverly
for the defense. Arguments are to
be made today and the case submit
ted to the governor who will act Oh
the findings before 3 they are made
public.