davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
NUGGETS FROM GEORGIA.

Riches not only take wings. but
everything else it kin git its hans on.
Ell poverty is blessin', riches mus
sho be whole campmeetin', wild hal
lelula come down.
Some folks tries so hard ter be hap,
py dat wen happiness comes dey's all
worn out, en- too weak ter enjoy 1t.
We 'bleege ter take de wor' ez we
find it; but de trouble is, some er us
want ter take too much at one time.
De poor you has always wild you:
kaze wen de poor sets down ter a
good dinner he feel too comfortable
ter quit.-Atlanta Constitution.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
NEXT MORNING PHILOSOPHER.

The fast man seldom passes the half
mile post.
Were it not for the hod carrier the
house would not go up.
The man who deliberates should not
be confused with the man who hesi-
tates.
The scolding woman is but little
less ridiculous than the scolding male
biped.
To some it is always an era of pros.
perity, while to others it is always an
era of hard times.
The per capita wealth of country
is to be found on paper. not in the
pockets of the people.
Taking everything into considera-
ton, the real wonder is that the world
is as good as it is in most respects.
There is Il wide difference between
the real and the professional working
man. and it is always in favor of the
former.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
BUB BLES.

"Silence in the court applies to the
lovemaking of deaf and dumb cou-
pie.
1t isn't at all likely that the "arm-.
less wonder" can play the piano by
ear.
The undertaken doesn't make much
out of people who are buried in OBJ
livion.
Should a temperance man avoid
matrimony? 1t is certainly an EYE
opener"
The living skeleton" who fails to
earn living may appropriately be
sent to the poorhouse.
The clerk at the calico counter sells
figures by the yard. the bookkeeper
adds them up by the foot.
Soda water drinkers, these hot days.
seem to be clutching at the last straw
to save them from dying of thirst.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
BRIEF DISPATCHES.

II is uncommon sense that counts.
Its inventor coined money in the
mint julep.
Ever SO many gems of thought turn
out to be paste.
Men laugh at feminine frippery, but
are beSuiled by it.
Girls talk of maerimony, married
women of husbands.
Always is borne in on us the fact
that the seat of reason is the stom-
ach.
When there's an ache in 1t there
is room for nothing else in ones
head.
Not enough men catch Time by the
forelock to make the old fellow bald
headed.
The trouble with some of the unco'
isuid is that they suffer from ingrow-
ing profanity.
strenuous long enough to raise the
price of drink.
So far as the modern scientist is
concerned the fruits of philosophy
are electric currents.
1t doesn't always follow that be-
cause man is well groomed he pos
esses good horse sense.
What a lot we would know about
woman if we could swap our knowl-
edge for our ignorance.
There is grain enough in the coun-
try to fatten the Thanksgiving tur-
key corner or no corner.
If boys had the running of the
world some of us grown-ups would
have to DO some humping.
1t is unlucky to walk under lad
der when there is pot of paint
carelessly poised overhead.
A little nonsense now and then is
relished by the wisest men If the
girls are sufficiently pretty.
THAT size depends upon ccmpari-
son is manifest" said the little bird
as 1t swallowed the big worm.
Many and many time. said the
Dreamer, have l seen Fame within
easy reach, and always my pipe went
out.
Ever so many grains make a dram;
ever SO many drains kill a scruple;
possessors of scruples avoid the
pound.
Many man gets a reputation for
wisdom by silence and many man
proves his wisdom by leaving things
unsaid.
A place for everything and every
thing in its place becomes awfully
monotonous after a while to the
average man.
Trust or no trust, we don't allow
outsiders in the Smokers Brother
hood until they call them tobies in
stead of stogies.
Life is made up of spasms-spasms
of virtue, spasms of vice, spasms of
industry, spasms of laZiness-and
death alone can cure them.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Beware of the woman who loves
money more than she loves love.
You can always tell female fiirt
by the way she doesn't get married.
The millennium. like most good
things. isn't in any hurry about ar
irving.
During courtship he talks and she
listens; after marriage the order Is
reversed.
Some women's idea of being econ.
omical- is to have their ball dresses
cut lower.
It's easy to believe one who speaks
derogatorily of others or in praise OF
ourselves.
Actions of most men everlastingly
knock the stuffing out of their good
intentions.
1t is said, that haste makes waste,
yet you seldom find a hustler in an
almshouse.
Vindications are all right, but man
should not get into the habit of seek
ing them regularly.
When a man follows the races he
finds himself far in the rear sooner or
later-usually sooner.
Truth may be stranger than fiction.
but the average liar makes desper'
ate effort to supply contrary proof.
Lots of people find marriage a fail.
ure, but the grass widow considers 1t
only a temporary embarrassment.
That serpent in the garden of Eden
wasn't in the LII. ID. class, but he
understood human nature all right.
All women want to live to ripe
old age, yet the majority of them are
ashamed to acknowledge their years,
People would get more real enjoy
ment out of money If it took them as
long to spend it as 1t does to earn it.
After woman gets married she
wonders three times a day as long as
she lives what to get for the next
meal.
Some people save up money by do
ing without something they want In
order to be in a position to purchase
something they don't want.-ChicaSo
News.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
QUIET THOUGHTS.

Kind thoughts are wings which bear
us on to. kinder deeds.
1t Is true that the busiest man Is
the happiest man, but he often does
not have time to realize it.
Love of ones own family may be
come a cause for blame If 1t stretches
over into injustice to others.
We bring into the world the germ
of all that we may become. but its
culture is largely left to ourselves.
Giving advice is. many times. only
the privilege of saying foolish thing
ones self under pretense of hinder
ing another from doing so.
The love of truth for Its own sake
is the love of God. Be not afraid to
contemplate with unflinching eye
aught that is. Truth is absolute; lies
are accidental.
Employ your time in improving your
self by other mems documents; so
shall you come easily by what Others
have labored hard for. Prefer knowl-
edge to wealth. for the one is transit
tory the other perpetual.
1t is great truth, wonderful as it
is undeniable, that all our happiness
temporal, spiritual and eternal-con-
sists in one thing. namely, in resign
ing ourselves to God. and in leaving
ourselves with Him to do with us and
in US just as He pleases.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
DON'T GIVE UP.

Don't be discouraged by past ef-
forts to find relief and cure from the
myriads of ills that come from sick
kidneys. You may pass nights OF
sleepless tossing. annoyed by frequent
urination. Your back may ache like .
toothache or sudden twitches and
twinges of backache pain make life a
misery. Perhaps you have nervous
spells, are weak. tired-out, depressed.
There is a cure for all of this and for
every trouble of the bladder and Kid
neys. Read this case and note 1t
tells how well the cure was tested:
Charles Lindgren, sealer of freight
cars on the l.. S. & M. S. r. R., La
Porte, Ind, says: 81 have greater
faith in Deans Kidney Pills to-day
than had in the fall of 1897 when l
began taking them and made pub
lie statement of the result. At that
time | had suffered with lameness
and soreness of the back. which was
SO excruciating that ! could scarcely
turn in bed, and Doan's Kidney Pills
completely cured this trouble. l am
always ready to endorse Doan's Kid
ney Pills personally to anyone requir-
ing a kidney remedy. After lapse OF
three years | make this statement.
which shows my undoubted faith in
y the preparation"
A FREE TRIAL of this great kid
ney medicine. which cured Mr.. Lind
gren. will be mailed on application
I to any part of the United States.
Address Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo,
N. Y. For sale by all druggists, so
cents per box.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

Handsome is as the Photographic er
does.
By rounding out the years youth
gets fiat.
Love thy neighbors as they love
themselves.
When n woman is pleasant to
everybody in the family it is sign
she has company visiting her.
The safest thing for man to do
who is afraid of getting married is
to fall in love with several wemen.
The man who never has a word to
say about the excise tax will go wild
when he gets his water tax bill of
So.
A woman's instinct makes her as
sure that burglars have tried to get
in the house as if they had left their
cards.
You can tell an engaged girl by the
grown up clothes she is always max.
ing and married one by those that
are not grown up.
You can never make a woman be.
lieve that the best way to play whist
Is not to measure out the cards as
If she were making custard.
After woman has been engaged
two or three times she gets about as
excited over 1t as the man does over
going to business every morning.
New York Press.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
WHAT WE NEED.

Food for reflection.
A cushion for the seat of war.
A sheet for the bed of river.
A ring for the finger of scorn.
A glove for the hand of fate.
A link for a chain of evidence.
A button for the coat of paint.
Scales for the weight of years.
A hinge for the gait of horse
A rung for the ladder of fame
A sleeve for the arm of the law,
An opener Tor the jaws of death.
A lock for the trunk OF an elephant
A feather for the wing of the wind
A tombstone for the dead of night
A shoe for the foot of a mountain
A pump for the well of knowledge
A hone to sharpen a blade of grass
A telescope to watch the flight O
time.
A song that will reach an ear o
corn.
A blanke, for the cradle Of tn,
deep.
A razor to shave the face Of tn,
earth.
A key to the lock of the door o
,uccess.i
A pair of glasses for the eyes o
he law.
A thermometer to measure the hea
If an argument
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
Influence of Chess.

II n Scottish scientist is to be be-
lieved, the people of those countries in
which chess is most frequently played
are invariably more civilized than
those who inhabit countries in which
little attention is paid to this great
game. The best chess players in the
world he points out, were to be found
in Spain during the period of its splen-
dor and in Italy during the renais-
sance, whereas to-day there are few
persons in those countries who care
for the game.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
Bamboo for seaHoldins.

The French consul at Batavia lays
stress on the Importance of bamboo as
a material for constructing builders
scaffolding, and he states that in Java
even n lighthouse has been built with
its help. The power of resistance of a
bamboo cane measuring eight to ten
inches in diameter even with length
of sixty-fiye feet, is enormous. More
over, bamboo is said not to rot either
when in the ground or0h water, while
the drier and older it grows the firmer
il becomes.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
Labor on Railroad Folders.

The average person who picks up n
railroad time folder does not realize
the amount of work which the prepara-
ton of such n publication involves. a
big western railroad, for instance, has
a general time folder made up from
sixteen different divisions operating
time tables. The folder contains 1000
names of towns, gives the schedules of
over 500 trains and whenever there is
a change in time 60,000 figures have to
Le carefully checked and corrected.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children
Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse
In the Children's Home in New York. Cures
Fevertshness, Bad Stomach, Teething Dis
orders, move and regulate the Bowels and
Destroy Worms. Over 10000 testimonials
At all druggists, CSC. Sample FREE. Ad-
dress Allen 8. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

The Ogden Assay Company. who for
many years have been located at 1929
Sixteenth street. Denver, have removed
10 more convenient and centrally located
quarters at 1925 Arapahoe street. Denver.
They well known to mining men and
prospectors in this community. having
advertised in this paper continuously for
a number of years and are deserving of
their magnificent success.
The Ogden Assay Company furnishes
another Illustration of what can be done
by judicious and persistent advertising.
combined with strictly reliable work and
fair treatment of customers
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
TRY One Package.

If Defiance Starch does not please
you, return it to your dealer. If 1t does
you get one-third more for the same
money. 1t will give you satisfaction,
and will not stick to the iron.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Mrs. Sharpe-They call the bellboy in
the hotel Buttons" / believe. l won
der why? Mr.. Sharpe-Probably be-
cause he's always off when you need
him most
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is a constitutional cure. Price, 75c.

Few people realize the immensely of ST.
IBERIA, which extends through 120 degrees
of longitude and possesses one-ninth Of
all the land surface of the globe. The
United States Great Britain and all Eu-
rope. except Russia. could be put into
Siberia, with land to spare.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Hired Man-Say, boss, how d. y spell
rheumatism? Farmer-Don't know
Sim. l amt had spell in twenty
year.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

It's folly to suffer from that horrible
plague of the night, itching piles. Doan's
Ointment cures, quickly and permanently.
At any drug store, 50 cents.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Doctor-How did you ruin your diges-
ton so completely? Patient-I tried
every new kind of breakfast food that
| saw advertised.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
1NsIsr on aETTINa Ir.

some erocers say they don't keep. De-
6ance Starch. This is because they have
a sock on hand of other brands contain, ain,
ing only u OF. in package whicn tney @
won't be ablS to sell first. because De-
fiance contains i6 OF. for the same money.
Do you want is OF ,,, instead cad oI betiance zee
for same money? Then Day
Starch. Requires no COOKING.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Father Gmpressivelyl-Suppo l should
be taken away suddenly. what would be-
come of you. my boy? lrreverent son
would become of you?"
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

One of natures remedies; cannot harm
the weakest constitution; never fails to cure
summer complaints of young or old. De
Fowler's Extract of Wild Strawberry.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Patient-Im sorry now that I sent for
YOU doctor because l feel so much better
that i don't need any medicine. Doctor
Better take some: III charge you Just the
same for this visit. whether you DO or
not.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

II smoking interferes with your work.
"auit working"-and smoke ba3'ef
Bullhead-5-cent cigar.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
Lnd,e. Can Wear Shoe.

Ono size smaller afterusing Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder. 1t makes tight or new
shoes easy. Cures swollen, hot, sweating,
aching feet, ingrowing nails, corns and
buniops All druggists and shoe stores.
Ssc. Trial package FREE by mail Ad-
dress Allen 8. Oimsted. Leroy, N. Y.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

No chrome or cheap premiums, but
better quality and one-third more of
Defiance Starch for the same price of
other starches. ~
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

A good question for debating societies.
Which is the more dangerous. the rock
the-boat fool or the didn't-know-it-was-
loaded idiot?
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

He-I suppose now that shall have to
ask your father for his consent? She
No, Harry; after the first time you called
pa said l might have you If | wanted
you. Pa and l have understood 1t for
long time.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

James A. Bouty. an American in Brazil.
has found a tree called balata. near Para.
the juice of which promises TO rival rub
her.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

When doctors fail, try Burdock Blood
Bitters. Cures dyspepsia, constipation
invigorates the whole system.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

NOT A FISH STORY.
Baxter's Bullhead cigar as as good 5'
smoke as you can find.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Mrs. winsIow's Soothing syrup
For children teething, sofens the gums, reduces IN
nsumation aliays pain, wind collie 25o bottle
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
Where Snakes Arc searee.

The Sandwich Islands are almost as
free from snakes as Ireland. There Is
but one sort, and that very scarce.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

"Can YOU get rare roast beef at your
boarding house?' mo; but We get roase
beef rarely.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

"Our policy" said IA great railroad
lawyer, lis millions for defense, but
not | cent for damages"
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Piso's Cure Ia the best medicine we ever used
for nil affections of the throat and lungs-Wk.
O. ESpsLEY, Vanburen. Ind, Feb. 10. 1900
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Kansas tried to levy on Colorado's wa
ter supply. But when Colorado Saguache
was doing she Custer and said you Otero
known you couldn't Raca suit like that.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Lovers should be prepared before they
are paired.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

DO YOUR CLOTHES LOOK YELLOwf
Then use Defiance Starch. 1t will keep
them white-16 oz. for 10 cents.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Takes the burn out; heals the wound; ;
cures the pain. Dr. Thomas Eclectric OH,
the household remedy.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24
MORE FLExIBLE AND LASTING.

won't shake out or blow out; by using
Defiance starch you obtain better results
than possible with any other brand and
one-third more for same money.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

In matrimony one and one makes one.
but in divorce one from one leaves two.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

"Mild?" Well. ] should say so-Bax-
ter's Bulhead &c cigar. Smoke many
as you like; they won't hurt you.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

The string tied around mans finger
is merely forget-me-knot.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Peary is returning but 1t doesn't ap-
pear he found the north pole.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

The man on the gallows Is "A fenrful'ex-
ample' Of the result of taking a drop too
much.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

It's because of their true merit that
SO many smokers prefer Baxter's Bull
head scent cigar.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Speaking of home rule what's the mat
ter with that of the first baby?
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

An industrious gardener is slave te
the weed.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

'.That Mr.. Squeezem had nothing but
praise for your sermon to-day, said the
ministers wife after church. ''Yes. no.
ticed that when the plate was passed
around" said the pastor sadly.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

To Cure n Gold in One day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
druggists refund money II it fails to cure. 25c.
The Lamar register., 1902-09-24

Bullhead scent cigar, II you have
smoked one you know how good they
are. II you have not. try one.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-28
TO SAVE THE FORESTS
CHAMBER OF COMME3CE REsoIV
TION ON FOREST RESERVE,

The directors of the Chamber of Com
rlerce yesterday, at their regular weekly
meeting, passed a resolution relative TO
the matter of forest reserve in the north
ern part of the state, to be made up OF
lands now composing the Chippewa re-
serve.
The resolution recap tuiafcs the various
arguments employed in re2rnt discus
sions before the chamber iii favor OF
the project and recommends that all
tracts on the Chipupewa reserve that
are more valuable for the production of
timber than for agriculture be reserved
mature pine be cut Armanrf u.lok-y
for forestry purposes, and that only the
mature pine be cut on the reserve, and
that all cutting be done under the SUI
pervision of the United States bureau of
forestry and in such manner as to avoid
as far as possible destruction and waste.
That demonstration be applied where
practicable, and that adequate measures
be adopted to guard against the destruc-
ton of growing and standing pine.
That the shores and islands of the N IN
cipal lakes within the Chippewa reser-
walton be preserved intact.
That all lands other than those above
mentioned, or, in other words, all agri-
cultural lands in the Chippewa reserva-
ton be thrown open to Settlement.
That the value of all timber on said
reservations be carried to the credit OF
the Indians interested, and paid in ac-
cordance with the respective treaties.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1902-01-28
TEA MEN DO OBJECT
But BREWERS WANT WAR TAX
ABOLISHED.

WASHINGTON, Jan. 27.-In the hear
ing on war revenue taxes today, the on
poslt1on TO the proposed reduction was
opened by W. j. Buckfield, tea importer
OF New York. He said the 10 cent duty
Had operated benefcially in keeping out
Ine poor grades of tea, including the
Japan tea dusts, which had been mixed
WITH other teas. This gave the country
Getter qualities of teas and eventuajE-
an Improvement in quality would lead
70 an increased consumption Of tea.
AT the afternoon session, the beer Deo-
pie were represented by officials of the;,
offSa14nizatIQn' including N. w. Kendall
Of New Haven, Conn, president Of tba
United States Brewers associa+ion.
George j.. Obermann, Baltimore. chair
nan OF lhe committee on federal reIa-
IONS IONS OF that association; RudoIpb
6Iaho, chicago former president. and
ROBERT Grain, Baltimore, of the ho3rd of
trustees. "O''Iu u
PRESIDENT Kendall said assurances had
peeh gwen when the war taxes were inn
Poseu that they were for war purposes and
," Irnlnate with the war. He com
io - me rate placed on beer with that
nllP0sed py Great Britain as an incident
~ oHe 6oef war, showing the American
tdte 10 pe much higher There was no
:, ust IN the brewing trade he declared
gu gu y large fortunes had been nada IN
war. 1N0 spanish
Mr. Brand, of Chicago. referred 70 fro
-ei ,l3 NOUS surplus Cutting the treasure
ara SAID this should impei an irnn1adfafe
performance of the promises hnrnfofa! IS
ed. '''4N 'no'Ad De repeal