davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Cold, hard and other forbidding
qualities. Thus Curtis Brown, London
correspondent, writes about Rudyard
Kipling as his private letters show
him. More than one struggling penny
a-liner can prove that Kipling has one
of the most brotherly hearts that God
ever put pulse into. And this is good,
clean, simple truth, which is more or
less at the bottom of things.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
When They Probably Began.

AS he nursed the finger he had acci-
dentally hit he made some very violent
and startling remarks, but she only
looked at him dreamily. She was of
an investigating turn of mind.
II WONDER she said. when men
first began to swear"
I'm not at all sure of the date" he
replied when were hammers first
d?"-Chicago Post.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Redeeming Asiatic Turkey.

Asiatic Turkey Is to be rescued from
semi-barbarism by the construction Of
s14O. 100000 worth of railroads, one of
which will run through Euphrates val
lev from end to end. The new roads
will follow the old caravan routes, and
they will touch all the principal cities
and towns of Bible land.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Fashions Had Changed.

What is the matter with that green
leaf dress got you only last August?"
mildly inquired Adam when Eve COM
planned that she had nothing to
wear
THAT green-leaf dress!" sneered
Eve. THAT was well enough for last
August, but this is November. and the
leaves are all brilliant colors now!"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Except the one underneath, Austria
liza is the hottest country on record.
The Australian farmer has to feed his
chickens on cracked ice to keep them
from laying boiled eggs.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

DR.. Knopf of the New York Academy
of Medicine, has discovered a disease
called "Phthisiophobia.' 1t is a form
of madness brought on by trying to
make the first two consonants enter
into the pronunciation.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Americans needn't lose any sleep
over that threatened European GUS
toms union. Too many cooks spoil
the broth. The earth is ours and the
fatness thereof.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
A Gentle Bluff.
measured

"I shall call mamma if you attempt
to kiss me-" she said softly.
He hesitated and grew pale.
Mamma is out attending the sewing
society" the young lady fastened to
explain; then she cast her eyes de-
murely down and waited.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

ban forbidding Russian students
to form associations of more than ten
has been removed and the government
hopes for great things from the con-
cession. No wonder Russian students
were always in rebellion when they
were certain to come in conflict with
the police if they formed a college
eleven
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Owing to the extraordinary expense
of the grand entree in Pekin the other
nations of the earth must be prepared
for heavy advance in the price of
fireworks this year.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
What Love Meant to Each.

He-Ah! those days of our young
love! You remember that afternoon
you promised to meet me and didn't
come? How 1 raved.
She-Just like man! And there was
I suffering agonies trying on that
dress you like SO much.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Tess: Mamma was rummaging
through the attic today, and she found
the cradle I used when l was baby.
She was going to throw it away, but I
wouldn't let her" Jess: I should
think not. Antique furniture is all the
rage now."-Stray Stories.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
independent Girl.

Alice-I believe Maud's fiance says
that what he most admires in her is
her marked independence of judgment
Irene-Yes She was the only girl in
her set who would accept him.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Wit and Hun1Or.

roe. "and hts descent has been voSy
great. But lot us sst It down 70 hls
credit that he tries to rise again. Nv
cry now and then you hear Of some
man who il doing his best to make .
monkey Of himself"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
The Heavy Work Explained.

The Heavy Work Explained.
Bigby-Hunting trips cost too much
nowadays.
Bagby-Yes; if a man has to buy all
the game he brings home.
Bigby-Thats so; and I have to buy
about two dozen extra ducks or tur-
keys for my wife to give away.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Hard Luck.

May Woodby-O, pshaw. that's just
my luck. My new coats black, and
here my uncle's gone and died.
Sue Giddy-Goodness! What are you
complaining about?
May Woodby-Why, if I'd only got a
light coat I could wear one Of those
swell mourning bands on the sleeve.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Since the discoverer of pepsin has
found it necessary to die every dys-
peptic in the land will shed a tear Over
his memory.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Little Billy Billions IL crying 40 II
his heart would break" said ono
nursemaid.
Whats the matter?" asked the 9TH
er.
Hes jealous of little Tommy Tril-
lions next door.He thinks the railroad
bonds Tommy got in his Christmas
stocking will pay bigger dividends
than the corporation stock that Santa
Claus left him."
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Mrs. Astor is changing her citizen
ship to Rhode Island in the expectation
that her taxes will be small, to match
the state
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

French scientists want the world to
get its time from Paris, but Connecti-
cut clockmakers will protest against
this.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

New York has the largest collection
of butterflies in the world. and they
are not all in the Museum of Natural
History, either.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

What are you kicking about? She
returned all your presents, didn't she?"
Yes, but the eXpressage amounted
to more than the presents were
worth"
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Must eat only crackers and skinned
milk: mustn't drink, mustn't smoke. No
healthy Man With Hoe need
covet John d. Rockefeller's billions.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Slightly Mixed.

Slightly Mixed.
"Who was Ananias?" asked the
Sunday school teacher.
After a thoughtful pause a hand
went up toward the foot of the class.
Every we'll, Tommy" said the teach
er, "you may tell us who Ananias
was?"
Please maam," said Tommy, "he
wuz tn feller wot said he swollered .
whale
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

If those Canadians who are going
around the world in canoe are wise
they will carry their relief expedition
along with them.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

The man who laid in his winters
supply of coal in the fall does not OBJ
ject to being classed as one of the has
bins.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

1t speaks well for the financial con-
dition of the great Northwest that a
bank in Great Falls, Mont, can lose
$4,000 through the embezzlement of
it's cashier and still remain solvent.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Equipped as he is with system of
handy signals, Marconi has no use for
postal cards OF messenger boys.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Prince Henry is buying presents to
distribute in this country, but it isn't
likely that he will be able to get away
without sighting few Of U.s.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Mr. Rockefeller has just given $780,
900 to a New York college. But DR.
Harper isn't worrying. He has good
reasons for believing that there is
fully S26, 900 900 more where that came
from
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Among Her Friends.

Grace-Clara says that when Charley
proposed she almost cried.
Maud-Well, why didn't she?
Grace-I don't know; perhaps her
complexion wasn't waterproof.-Judge
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

From the way the European coun-
tries talk now it is surprising that
they could restrain themselves from
coming over to help us lick Spain.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Nicaragua Is being advised to bring
suit against Panama for alternating
Uncle Sans flckle affections.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Now that Lii Hung Chang sleeps with
his fathers China has grown bold
enough to talk real sassy to Russia.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

In order to escape going to Jail a
New Jersey man married woman
from whom he stole. A woman some
times strikes on fine way of making
the punishment fit the crime.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

The fog will have to lift from Lon
don streets before anybody will buy
tickets for the coronation parade.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

A st. Paul woman is complaining be-
cause her husband threw dog at her
Why didn't she lam him with the cat:
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
As4orted Jokes.

so she's going on the stage? Will
it be her first part?" Goodness. no!
She's been divorced twice!"-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Frank.

She-And would you care, dear, in
case of your death, If I should marry
again?
He-I suppose 1 ought not to care,
yet 1 have nothing against my fellow
! men.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
"A DIscuxs,d at the Zoo.

"You know" said the orang-outang,
"that man Is descended from a mon
key" YES" answered the chimpan-
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

A white murderer down in Tennessee
protests against being hanged on the
same scaffold and on the same day as
a negro" This is drawing the color
line right UP to the choking point.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Casey: "Phwat did we stoy worktn'
fur the butcher fur" Cassidy: "Shure,
an Oh hadn't Ord be frozen stiff this
minute. Sez Oh to him, There's a
good dale O. meat lift over Thin
says he go an lay in some Ice
Philadelphia Press,
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

What does this mean?" inquired the
Investigating committee. you have
most of your shortage charged up to
running expenses. That ex-
planned the contrite embezzler, "refers
to my automobile. Baltimore Amer.
lean.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Up in the lumber camps bootleggers
are selling a brand Of whisky that
foams and acts yeasty when it is drawn
from the jug. After a gentle wood
man has taken two drinks he also
foams and acts yeasty, at the same
time strenuously endeavoring to kill
his nearest comrade.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

The country Is facing pickle fam
Inc. That Is not our fault-that Is
sour misfortune.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

p legitimate way it is hard to
\ money yield more than per
interest, and yet there are hun
of persons ready to bite at Of
bf SO and 100 per cent profit in
b and New York schemes.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Jester-Did you see the shooting
stars last night?
Jinson-No.
Jester-You should have gone skat-
ing with me.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

and Saskatchewan. Exceptional advantages
and low rates OF fare are given to those desir-
GUS of inspecting the fall grant lands. The
handsome forty-page Atlas of Western Can
ada sent free to all applicants: Apply to Il.
Canada; or to ]. s. Crawford, 2I% w. 9th ST..
Kansas City. Mo-, or Capt. e. Barrett, Houston.
Tex, Canadian Government Agents.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Miss Trill: "I love to hear the birds
sing" Jack Downright (warmly): $50
do l. They never attempt a piece be-
yond their ability. .'-Tid-B
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

According to unofficial census re-
turns the inhabitants of the prairie
dog towns still number millions.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

"a New York man is trying to start
a new religion which was revealed to
a typewriter in dream. Il wonder
if his wife knows about it?"-Chicaso
Record-Herald.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

New Arrival: And are there worse
tortures YETI" Satan: Are there?
Why, over there in that side room l
have bunch of society folks playing
an endless game of progressive eu-
chre"-Baltimore World.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
An Explanation.

Johnson-Why don't you get new
suit of clothes?
Dedbroke-Im too ticklish to get
measured.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

She (at the dan9e}>-what figure did
you like best In the german?
He-Yours
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

AHEN1c Are you a hustler and reliable. II
HO cN y you are and want to mako big money
write to day for our special terms and prices on
the best portrait work you can possibly handle.
We have tho most complete line Of PORTRAITS,
frames and picture goods ever offered c. B.
ANDERSON, Established lSsd. Dallas. Texas.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

1t II 10 hard to be good when therd
= nothing by hut conscience to smile
approval.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Head of Family: Are you sure.
Mary, that we got all these things from
the grocery last month";" The Lady
Help: "I'm sure I got 'em, sor."-In-
dianapolis News.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

81 wonder where that man who goes
into the cage with the twenty-one
lions gets his nerve?" 81 s'pose he's
been married so long he amt afraid
of anything. g.'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

He: do you think your love for me
will last as long as this engagement
ring?" She: 81 don't know, but If you
notice it dying out you can present me
with another."-Life.
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22
Shooting Stars.

Shooting Stars.
Jester-Did you see the shooting
stars last night?
Jinson-No.
Jester-You should have gone skat-
ing with me.
Assorted Jokes.
80 she's going on the stage? Will
it be her first part?" Goodness, no!
She's been divorced twice!'-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
Miss Trill: II love to hear the birds
sing" Jack Downright (warmly): $50
do l. They never attempt piece be-
yond their ability" y."-Tid-Bits
"a New York man is trying to start
a new religion which was revealed to
a typewriter in a dream" II wonder
if his wife knows about tt?"-Chicago
Record-Herald.
Head Of Family: Are you sure.
Mary, that we got all these things from
the grocery last month" The Lady
Help: I'm sure I got 'em, sor. IN
dianapolis News.
He: "Do you think your love for me
will last as long as this engagement
ring?" She: 81 don't know, but If you
notice it dying out you can present me
with another."-Life.
Pessimist: what would you do If
financial misfortune befell you on the
verge of winter Optimist: "Oh, T'd
1,olf e~1o
straight ahead."-Detroit Free Press.
81 wonder where that man who goes
into the cage with the twenty-one
lions gets his nerve?" 81 s'pose he's
been married so long he amt afraid
| of ything."-Cleveland Plain Dealer
New Arrival: And are there worse
tortures YETI" Satan: Are there?
Why, over there in that side room l
have a bunch of society folks playing
an endless game of progressive eu-
| chre baltimore World.
"What does this mean?" inquired the
| Investigating committee. you have
most of your shortage charged up to
running expenses" THAT" ex-
planned the contrite embezzler, "refers
to my automobile. baltimore Amer
| lean.
Casey: "Phwat did we stoy workin'
fur the butcher fur" Cassidy: "Shure,
an Oi hadn't Ord be frozen stiff this
minute. Sez Oi to him, There's a
good dale O. meat lift over Thin,
says he, go an lay in some ice."-
Philadelphia Press,
Tess: Mamma was rummaging
through the attic today, and she found
the cradle I used when I was a baby.
She was going to throw it away, but
wouldn't let her" Jess: "I should
think not. Antique furniture is all the
| rage now. STRAY Stories
The Jennings daily record., 1902-02-22

Pessimist: What would you do II
financial misfortune befell you on the
verge of winter" Optimist: "Oh, T'd
have my shoes half-soled and go
straight ahead"-Detroit Free Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
Talking For Buncombe.


The expression was used toward the
close of the famous debate on the Mis-
souri, compromise in the sixteenth con-
gress QS2D. Buncombe, a county in
the western section of North Carolina,
was then part of the congressional dis
trict represented by Felix Walker, Il
resident of Wayncsville, in the adja-
cent county of Haywood.
The house was impatient to bring the
long debate to an issue when old man
Walker Che was then sixty-eight years
of age) rose to speak, and he was
greeted with loud clamors for "Ques-
tion.' Several members gathered
around him, begging him to desist; 9th
ers left the hall, but he kept the floor.
declaring that the people of his district
expected a speech from him, that he
was bound to talk for Buncombe Tor
words to that effect, and he did.
This Felix Walker had been in his
younger days the friend and compan-
ion of Daniel Boone when the latter
explored Kentucky and founded Boons-
borough. After representing North
Carolina from 1917 to 1923 he was q
member of the state legislature and
died in 1890 Il short time after remov-
ing to Mississippi.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
A CONFUSION Of SWEETS
Fifty-eight Thousand Pounds cf
Glucose Piled i'm the Ditch.

Fifty -eight thousand pounds of glu-
cose and about twenty tons of soda
piled up In a promisc0ls heap in the
eastern portion of the Chicago and
North Western switch yards in this
city to day furnishes rather vivid
picture of what is liable TO happen in
the very best rail road families.
About midnight last night way car
special pulled by engine .l2, in charge
of engineer Patterson and Conductor
Sier, left for the East The special ar
rived at the eastern terminus of the
switch yards just as the switch crew
was making a transfer of about 90
loaded cars from the Elkhorn side to
the North Western tracks Through
some unexplainabe cause the crew on
the special did not observe the cars the
switch engine was pushing onto the
East lead track and plunging into the
cars the heavy engine showed a sixty
thousand capacity tank car filled with
glucose and a box car filled with soda
off the track, pillng them in promis-
cous heap The mainli line was blocked
for almost four hours. No one was
injured.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
Talks Of a TriIIionaire

Boston, Mass, Feb. President
Dickerson of the American TIN Plate
Company dealt in some startling figures
in his address at the New England Iron
and Hardware associations annual
banquet at the Hotel Vendome.
ave have millionaires now; we are
talking of billionaires; is it not possible
that we shall soon have trillionaires.
Speaking of money accumlatlons and
its accumulators he said: eve can see
farther than our grandfathers, but the
twentieth century will see men capable
of dealing with fourteen or fifteen fig.
ures as readily as our grandfathers
dealt with seven figures"
When President Dickerson spoke of
the millionaire scarcely man who heard
him thought of the tremendous sum
mentioned IN the prediction. Tonight
some of them figured it out. Accord
ing to computation if 433 men were put
at work counting this vast sum at
birth and counted continuously until
death at the biblical three score and ten
the task would be completed in time to
give each man few seconds in which
to die. They further figured that one
man counting at the rate of 81 second
every day would be occupied for 81 700
years, 2S9 days and hours in counting
the trillion. When they rad evolved
these facts they were aghast at Presi-
dent Dlckerson's assertion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
MAY LOSE SIGHT Of ONE EYE
Car RepaIrer Meets With Pecu-
liar accident

s f Purcell, resident of this city
and employed in the car repair depart
ment at the rail road shops here, met
with peculiar and what may prove to
be, serious accident while at work this
forenoon.
He was engaged in removing the old
roof from freight car. using in the
operation tool similar to pick ak.
In tearing one of the pine boards from
the timbers to which it was nailed, a
large splinter was broken from the
board and before the luckless work
man could dodge the sharp p oint struck
him in the eye.
DIR Colt who attended the mans in
juries advised that he be sent i'm
mediately to the Omaha hospital where
he will receive treatment. 1t will not
be known for few days if the sight of
the eye will be permanently impaired
but the injury Is dangerous one.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
German Birthday Cakes.

The custom of having birthday,
cake is widespread in Germany.
know it for certain that it is prevalent
in the province of Saxony, In Hanover
and the mark Of Brandenburg. AS
many lights as the one whose BIRTH
day it is has years are stuck around the
cake, or the Torte, a thick one in the
middle. called the Lebenslicht, the light
of life. For persons advanced in years
one candle must do duty, as otherwise
too many would be required, or skill
full lady expresses the exact number
OF years in Roman figures (XX, IL.
When Moltke completed his seven
tietl year during the campaign OF
1S10-11, Crown Prince Frederick Will
liam, later on Emperor Frederick, pre-
scented him with n cake adorned with
seventy lights.
Only he or she who celebrates his Or
her birthday may put out the light Of
life. 1t is unlucky if done by any 9th
er member OF the family.-Notes and
Queries.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
WALL AND O'CONNOR FAM.
lilies RELEASED TODAY
Wednesday Ends the Smallpox in
Missouri Valley.


The smallpox epidemic in Missouri
Valley is now on its last legs, the fam.
lilies of j. II. Wall and +. c. O'Gonnor
being released from quarantine this
morning and the remaining two cases
being scheduled for release Wednes
day of this week.
Those who have been so ambitious
in their efforts to scatter the reports
all of them grossly exaggerated, con
corning the status of the smallpox
here, should play fair and now devote
their energies to spreading the good
news that the disease has finally beer
stamped out.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
The ALLIGATOR.
He II Always In Good Humor wnea
Catching Flies

Catching Flies.
1.-THE alligator is a funny beast"
said the old circus man. The old fell
low we have in the menagerie is q
cross tempered chap. Often at feed
ing time he won't open his mouth, and
we tickle the top of his nose. An alli-
gators nose is very sensitive, and 1t
always makes him very mad. He
throws back his upper jaw like eel
lar door ON hinges Then we throw in
a chunk of beef, five pounds or so, and
repeat the performance until we've fill
ed him up with about twenty-five
pounds, which 1T takes to give him a
square meal.
Hes never cross when he's fly catch
Ing. That always puts him in good hui
NOR. One would think fly small
tidbit for an alligator, but they eat
them wholesale. Our old alligator is
an expert fly catcher. He throws back
his upper jaw and goes to sleep appar-
entity. The flies light ON his under
jaw, and he waits until it is pretty
we'll covered with fiies-until its red
color seems about changed to black.
Then suddenly he slams down his up
per jaw, and he has fine mouthful
of flies. .Alligators would make excel
lent fiytraps for houses where there
are no children, except that they are
expensive, as they consume such vast
quantity of beef" -Houston Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-03-06
Good Advice.

The most miserable beings in the
world are those suffering from dyspep-
STA and liver complaint. More than
seventy-five per cent of the people in
the United States are afflicted with
these two diseases aud their effects;
such as sour stomach, sick headache,
habitusl costiveness, pslpitation of the
heart, heartburn, water brash, gnswing
and burning pains at the pit of the
stomach, yellow skin, coated tongue
and disagreeable Taste in the mouth
coming up of food after eating, low
spirits, etc. Go to your druggist and
get bottle of August Flower for 75c.
Two doses will relieve you. Try it.
G. s. Osborne.