The Topeka state journal., 1902-07-19
Observations of Interest to the
Person in Love.
Some of the Requisites For a
Successful Home.
TOPEKA'S SMART SET.
Well Dressed Women Who Are
Their Own DresSmakerS.
Notes About the Latest Fashions
For Women.

Is it simply the glad optimism of
youth or d result of a blind acceptance
of the theories of the poets ana ro-
nancers that makes the Young Person
fordIy gine that love offers royal
road to reform2 However it may be, 1t
is certain that many young women i'm
agine that true love Is the one thing eS-
sentiaI to a happy and successful mar
riage The fairy tales which leave the
petulant, exacting princess and the sell
fish masterful, wOman-spoiled prince
on the threshold of marrimony with the
careless assurance that they were
married and lived happily ever after
wards may be responsible for the no.
ton which prevails in the mind of the
average girl that, if she loves and ls
loved in return and nothing happens 10
prevent the marriage, that is all there
is to il and she simply can I miss nap
piness. But the records of the divorce
courts tell a different story
OF course it depends largely upon
what you understand by love, which is
such an abused word that one becomes
almost ashamed to use it, 1t is true
that there is the occasional nero or
martyr inspired to god-1ke deeds
by love Of some high cause but that IS
not the love under discussion Men
and women have been known to rise TO
lofty heights of self-sacrifice and hero
ism under the influence of a grand pas
sion. But We have It on no less an
authority than BaIzac that grand pas
SlODS are as rare dS EIldSteIDirCcS- Ao0-
sides these things are rot the result OF
normal moods They are sporadic i'm
pulses. A happy home depends upon
the normal everyday behaviour OF the
people in If The hero may be very
trying person to face across the table
three times a day for 20 or 30 years
The irnpossibiIity of being a hero TO
ones valet has passed into proverb
Certainly admiration could hardly ask
higher test than the daily sight of the
1oI xx-irb SO16arHd with lathe
Youth makes many mistakes but
none more common than the belief that
the love of a man and a w0aIan is
potent to lift them above Their faults
and weaknesses and work permanent
TRANSFORMED ton in their habits and dis
positions Character building is. un-
fortunately of a slower growth than
mushroom love Perhaps the lover new
er lived who in the presence of the
loved one did not have a sense of his
unfitness and a high resolve to better
things. But these are temporary eDio-
tions and rarely outlast the honey
moon unless they antedated it by a
good many years ----- -.-~.
The conclusion of the whole matter
Is that We are in training every day of
our lives for all the days that shall
come thereafter The practical training
for the difficulties which the young per-
son expects her great love to tide her
over in the home over which she ex-
poets some day to preside, is found in
the home where she now is. The same
conditions. virtually which prevail in the
house of her father will be mer in the
house of her husband If she is not
a good daughter, sister. and friend how
can she hope to be good wife? She
should remember that love IS q. very
common earthly experience, Eut lasting
love is rare enough to seem almost a
miracle The qualities which hold. not
those which attract, contribute to the
happiness of the home. If a woman fails
in one relation of life what assvJ nee
has she that she will succeed in anoth-
err Does she 1agine that the little ser
vices OF heart and hand which she
sometimes finds it rather trying to per-
form for her father will be easier to do
for her husband2 If she is not gentle
and patient with her younger brothers
and sisters does it not occur to her that
she may lack these virtues with her
own little oneS2
Reduced to its simplest terms it's
really a question of self-interest a vari-
aticn on the old commandment with a
promise. Be good and you will be
happy A woman's happiness depends
SO much upon her marriage, which still
remains the end and aim of the average
woman's existence. that it is rather
more important that she should be pre-