The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1902-03-09
Bryan Tells Funny stories.

William j. Bryan. who described
himself as a country editor from the
plains" was the guest of honor at the
Press Clubs spring smoker last night,
and for half an hour ne amused his
fellow newspaper men with funny
stories and incidental references to his
political past and future, says the New
York World.
He began with a story apropos of
the declaration that he had defeated
himself by talking too much:
Il didn't tell this story in the cam
paign," he said. "a man died in
town and no one knew him. They took
him to the morgue, where young man
came and said it was his father He
ordered a handsome funeral The un-
dertaker put the body in readiness for
fine burial, and when all was pre-
pared the son came in to take a fare
well look. Just then the corpses
mouth fell open and set of false
teeth rolled out. It's not my father,
cried the young man, and refused to
pay for the funeral.
The indignant undertaken protest
ed, but it was no use. He pulled the
body out of the upholstered coffin, re-
marking angrily: You idiot, you
might have had a glorious burial if
you'd only kept your mouth shut.
Well, that story doesn't hurt my feel
ings now. I'm used to it,"
Story No. 2-"My mouth has been a
subject for criticism ever since / en-
tered politics. When look in the glass
L feel there is room for criticism. 1
spoke during the campaign in a little
Illinois town. In front of me sat
man rigidly attentive. He drank in
every word l said; 1 think he had
drank in something else besides. When
l finished he came up and wrung my
hand. Mr.. Bryan, he said, you are
wonderful, wonderful. You are the
nrst man L ever saw whose back teeth
l could see all the time he was speak
ing"
Story No 81 enjoy the cartoons,
even though they are at my expense.
There was one l enjoyed best of all.
1t appeared just after the Kansas City
Convention. 1t represented me as
topper standing in state of utter intox-
ication in front of a gin mill, a bottle
in my hand labelled '16 to L. David
b. Hill was represented as little girl,
with braided hair down his back, tug
ging at my coat-tails and pleading:
Father. Dear Father, Come Home
with Me Now"
Story No. 4-"Back in 1888 I took.
part in my first campaign. In the
fifty speeches l made 1 explained as
Il
thought the Republican candidate for
Governor should not be elected.
went more into detail than l do now.
After the election and the Republican
candidate had been elected by $4,000
majority, 1 felt that the Governor elect
must feel a little hard toward me for
the part l had taken against him.
Il felt nervous every time 1 was in
his presence. / expected him to re-
proach me. A few months afterwards
we We're on the same platform and 1
was all trepidation 1t was a mixed
programme and the Governor intro
duced the speakers. When it came my
turn a man whispered w. j. Bryan
next He said: L introduce w. j.
Bryan Then as stepped forward he
detained me by holding out his hand.
l was greatly agitated, remembering
how had antagonized him.. He said:
Beg pardon, Mr.. Bryan, do you speak
or sing%
Story No. ST have had occasion
several times to say that / am not a
candidate for any office and have no
plans for any nomination whatever. L
thought 1 had made the statement
broad. A young reporter came to me
the other day in st. 10 and asked me
the question over: DO you mean to
say that you would not run for office
under any condition whatever at any
time during the rest of your life?' I
told him that was asking too much. l
said I won't give bond for life. He
sent it out pretty accurately. One
editor has said of that statement: If
Bryan decides to give bond he will
find plenty of securities
Editor Bryan said he was only the
editor of a country weekly.
Il am in the newspaper business"
said he, but l can't say that 1 en-
tered it voluntarily. There were some
circumstances that led to it. 1t is
very congenial. It is hard to COM
pare it with speaking. 1 have had two
opportunities to speak, and l find that
l failed to convince the majority of
the American people of the merit of
my proposition. l find writing the
best"
He said he had no feelings against
those who left the Democratic party
because he was nominated. He believ-
ed in controversy and free speech. Not
even cartoons should be suppressed.