The National tribune., 1902-02-06

pIe the Lord ever chose to make have
come and boarded with me, since Mr..
Jones, my husband, left me with four
children to earn my living by the most
uneratcful task that ever was put upon
& woman's shoulders, for there are peO-
pie that never think you can do enough
for 'cm. and people that haven't any con-
sidcration for your feelings, and If the
chicken happens to be tough, ask if II was
ever known for certain what became OF
the pair that went into Noah's ark, and
the like of that, you know; and there are
pcapIe that have whimSies, and want raw
meat. or scorched cinders, AID people that
won't touch anything fried, and people
that won't touch pork, and people that
take on airs and don't pay, and people
that are so far from being what they pre-
tend to be that you have to mention to
them that their rooms are wanted, and
all sorts of people, who do all sorts OF
funny things.
Ono of the funniest things ever knew
70 be done by any of my boardcrs was
done by Mr.. DINGHY. He came to board
with me about three years ago. Just at
Christmas time. He was bachelor, 5O
years old, | should judge, and his face
was SmOoth-Shaved, and he wore wig,
and was very particular in his dress. He
had Just met with a disappointment, not
ia love, mind you, but in money. He had
made himself II slave to Il very wealthy
old uncle for 20 years, expecting to he his
heir; put up with all sorts of treatment,
been huffed and scOlded and sneered at
morning, noon and night: never SAID
word; lust gone on grinning, and rubbing
his hands, and speaking about his dear
uncle" until the old man died when he
left him only $500 year for life. After
that he came to board with me.
There was boarding with me at the
same time maiden lady, named Sutton.
She was about the same age as Mr.. Ding
ly, and she was very rich. She wore dla-
monds in her ears so big and so shiny that
I wonder the thieves let her come home
alive with them on. And she had the
same kind of diamonds on her fingers.
She also had three pets-a dog, with very
curly wool, and a kitten, all white except
its nOsr, which was black, and Il green
and-red parrot Daytimes she kept them
in her room, but she hired an extra room
for them, and they slept in that, and il
was comical TO see them. Poll in her
cage, and the dog and cat each in 4 sort II
q basket cradle, with refreshments set for
'em in case they should get hungry dur
ing the night. Everybody isn't 50 care
full of children. She had whte-quilted
covers for the two animals. 1t was pc
Culiar. and she was curious in a good
many things. She wasn't very handsome,
but she was of a very good family; and
though she wanted extras, she always
paid for 'em.
remember asking her once why she
hadn't married; and she said she always
felt that the male sex was beneath her,
and that she couldn't promise to obey
any Of them. She asked me if | didn't
feel to despise 'em myself; and | said
gaE IL
didn't. She had written lecture, | think,
for the purpose of putting EN- down, and
she was a-gOing to deliver it in my parlOr
one night, only / says TO her, says |,
Miss Sutton" says !, I'm only a poor
widow, depending on my boarders for q
living, and as the majority OF EN- are OF
the male sex, it might offend 'em to say
all them dreadful things about them
selves. and how you despise 'em so, Miss
Sutton" So she gave up the idea, and
/ was thankful.
Well, after Mr.. DINGHY came, / noticed
Miss Sutton and he used to argue to-
eether good deal on the parlOr sofa. |
Sometimes, too, he used to see her to
church and to lectures; and no matter
how she acted afterwards, l have my
eyes about me, and | noticed she used
TO fix herself UP very smart, indeed, of
evenings, after he came.
- Then he came and asked me how much |
rcckoned she had year, and she also !
inquired into his financial standing. | /
told him that I'd heard she had $4,000 |
and | told her what he had. and exactly |
how he got il. / couldn't tell what she |
thought, but | made up my mind that |
there'd be a match between 'em. for I've |
always noticed that the more a lady talks |
against the men the more apt she is to |
have the first Gne that asks her. Yes. I'd |
made up my mind to that, when. one day, |
/ "a fia ka
back parlor window, seeding some cher
rics-for if the girl does it she puts more /
in her mouth than she does in the pan
when ] heard Miss Sutton enter the par
Ior, and few minutes after Mr.. DINGHY |
he came in. I'd like to remark just here
that far from me listening, I'm above it
but | wasn't called upon TO 20 away, SO |
! couldn't help hearing, and this is what
i did hear:
Miss Sutton said Mr. DINGHY, 81 am
rejOiccd to find yOG alone"
'lndeedr' said Miss Sutton.
You can guess why" asked Mr.. Ding |
No, sir; 1 can't said Miss Sutton.
"Is this the coquetry of your sex?" !
asked Mr. DINGHY. Have you not seen |
that / adore yOUE'
No." said Miss Sutton.
Il have hidden my emotions better than |
supposed / could" said Mr. DINGHY. !
Sls uedf MISS SUTTON, mere on my knees
allow me 10 offer you my hand and heart, |
and beg you TO accept them and the life
long devotion Of
Get mp, Mr.. DINGHY" said Miss Sut-
ton. Don't make goose of yourself.
understand that you ask me TO marry
yOu?"
Adorable creature" said Mr.. DINGHY. |
you put the question ] would have asked |
iEiU the most concise form"
III put the answer into the same |
form" said Miss Sutton. "No."
You cannot expect me to relinuuish |
my hopes at once" said Mr. DINGHY. |
"May | ask why you are not disposed to |
consider my proposition? VIII you not |
consider. 1t, and answer it more at leis- |
urcy"
Il have considered" said Miss Sutton.
'Bnt whyT said Mr.. DINGHY.
wen, II you want to know why" said
Miss Sutton, because | like to be my
own mistress. ] have plenty Of money. |
as you know, and three charming pets, !
who are worth more than any six men | |
eyer met / didn't marry when | was
Il good-Iookilg young girl. because even
1heh ! couldn't be sure any man wanted
me and not my money; and now I'm an
ugly old maid, | shari'r throw myself irto
the arms Of the first fortunc-huntcr, who
has calculated that an old maid win marry
anyone who asks her Yuu waited for
dead mems shoes 20 years, ] understand.
Now probably you wish to wait for mipeg
That's why ] say No. Mr. DINGHY"
The EcXt thing | heard was the door
slam. Mr.. DINGHY had gone, and Miss
Sutton was laughing to herself on the
gpfH.