The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-04-04

y lawyer tells the following story:
When L was a lad of IA my uncle |
with whom | was great favoritc) took |
me with him to Il camp meeting down in
South Carolina. He was a minister ana !
belonged to the Methodist conference.
\ multitude OF people were encamped
there; but, Of course, my uncle and l
lived for the week in the minister's tent,
and after morning ana evening service
we had great fun, too! They are Il jolly
lot, those Methodist preachers.
They 'worshiped under Il great ar
bor,' built for the purpose. One night,
after much preaching, exhorting, singing
who was up near the stand or pulpit
was invited by the white brothers to
lead in prayer kneeling devoutly, he
prayed loudly:
dc, devil say! lie g'winc bout seekin'
sed anything he'ah tonight. to hurt Thou
feelin's, hope Thou forgive us! Amen.
Looking up l caught the eye of my
uncle, but dared not look again, fearing
Ia lose my self-cOntrol. After they had
returned to the tents my uncle sent for
me to come to him, and, what was my
surprise when he said: Thomas, won't
IL for u.s.
Il was i; pronounced mimic, and did
the best l could. Those preachers
laughed like Il lot of schoolboys, and my
uncle, wlping the tears from his eyes,
said: we may laugh, brothers, but that
prayer w;,> the best one said here to-
night.
An Irishman entered one Of the lead
ing dry goods stores in this city recently
for the purpose of purchasing couple OF
han,lkerchiefs. He told the young won-
IN who WAS waiting ut that counter that
he wanted two red bananas. The young
there, whercupon he became indignant
and said he didn' t ask for fruit, but
wanted two red banana handkerchiefs.
1t was necessary to call another clerk
before matters could be understood
Troy Press.
In IL third-class smoker five sleepy pas
>engerS sat wrapped in their rugs. The
sixth, who had Il corner, was youth
with Il full-blooded cheek and warm over
coat, who cared not for the rigOrS Of Il
cold winter journey.
Excuse me-" he said, leaning over to
the old gentleman opposite, but can You
tell me what day is tomorrow"
Tomorrow is Thursday" replied the
will be- said the man next to him,
evidently II Schoollnaster, nudging him
on the arm.
lis. SIR screamed the old man, kick
ing the fOOt-Warmer and cracking ais
toe.
Let INC: explain replied the sang
froid man in black :" Tomorrow will he
Thursday means that, looking forward
from today, tomorrow is future time,
aud. therefore: we must say, Tomorrow
will be Thursday Tomorrow is Thurs
day means that without reference to to-
day, tomorrow which is Thursday. But
IT we were III tomorrow today, and looked
at today as Yesterday and tomorrow cal
cnlated today as the tomorrow of today,
But the big man had tainted. 1t was
IL midnight. and he had to start all over
aSain.-Tit Bits.
Terrible Possibilities of the Latest
Craze:-Housemaid (cntcring hurriedly)-
'Oh, It you please, mum. you know when
you allowed cook to go out lust now for
an hour: Well, she's come back 50 very
wer (hesitating ly)-poorlyv Mistress
30 very poorly: Good gracious, Jane,
'S,h; is the mattcr:' Housemaid-
,Nell, YOU know, mum, YOU told her to
90 them bantam's eggs for masters tea.
and she's trying to boil the ping-pong
balls! '-Punch. pe
1t is scarcely crtalitable that SO faith
full servant and so good Il courtier as
John Brown Of B:lmoral could ever de-
!iberately have kept his sovereign wait
ing. hut her" is an anecdOtc which shows
that he had IL very human side
Brown Was very fond Of fishing, and
one day when ne hah |; fine salmon on
his hook there came Il message from the
castle on DceSide. desiring his presence
at once. Queen Victoria was going for
her afternoon drive, and it was Browns
duty to attend her, as he always did. sit
ting in the rumble Of the carriage.
TELL her majesty that Ill be QUICKLY
he said.
But the salmon was strong and could
not be landed ut once. Another and
more urgent message reached him.
"Tell her majesty that | have il sal
mon on, but III be in in Il few minutes ~
Still the salmon held out. and a third
and Imperative command arrived.
Tell hcl majiSety." shouted Brown,
that it's not possible for ne to leave
without the salmon!''
Nor did he. But whether the Queen
knew enough Of fishing and fishermen to
appreciate the circumstances is not told.
London Tattler
All A@AStclH HliuulH(IUrRf or DiCNCipS.
being compelled to go away on a bust
ness trip about the time an interesting
domestic event WAS expected, left orders
for the nurse to wire him results accord
ing to the following formula: If a boy,
"Gentlemans safety arrived If girl,
"Lalys SAFETY arrived The IA
theirs state of mind may be imagined
when, few days later. he received a tel
egram containing the one word: Tan
DEM"
'Uncle Sambo,'' when alone in his
! cabin, often prayed to be delivered from
! all his earthly sorrows, asking God TO
send the angel Gab'el down to take poo'
ole Sambo out'n all his troubles. right up
| to heb'n.'
Some boys ION mischief bent" heard
the old mans prayer one night, and. att
er waiting until he was ready for bed.
knocked at the door. "Who dary' asked
Uncle Sambo in a startled voice.
Its the Angel Gabriel" was the an
| swer. ''',
| who dar, I say?" repeated Sambo.
hustling around inside the cabin. '"The
Angel Gabriel, whom the Lord has sent
down in his chariot to take poor Uncle
Sambo up, to heaven, where he'll see no
more trouble"
"W-e-ll, boss, you jes' tell Massa God
| dat SambO amt been ;heah in tree