davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
YARNS FROM ERIN.
The Absurdities That Are Born of
Irish Sim piicity.

Here are u few samples of the alb
surditics arising out cf the extreme
simplicity Of some Irish folk:
\ young man came to confess to an
Irish priest i'll London NAaae expert
enees of the lgumors Of his tel.4N. coun-
trymcn would fill a book. w ell, my
man. said the PRIEST, and how do you
earn your Hving:a I'm an acrowbat,
yoar riVereMcc.8 The priest was non
plused ''Ill show ye what | mean in
a brace CT shakos, said the penitent,
and in moment WAS turning himself
inside out in the most approved acro-
bate fashion in and out Of the pews.
IN OLD woman who had followed him
tx confession looked on horriticd.
"When it comes to ny turn, father
she gasped, for the love OF Cod Cont
nut ponancp on me like that 1t 'ud
be the death Of laen'
thin, It was the same good father
who. observing tho regular attendance
at Lent mission had done nothing to
reform ole Of his Earish;onors. told him
so and asked him the reason Of it.
"-Nh, fs5ther,s =" replied. Il can man
age the faitA ri9ht enough, but the NOR
ais bate me-
On another occasion this priest was
called upon to IuaI9E Il man OF whom
he knew nothing 70 a :si..l OF his conGre-
CATION. On investigation lie found the
would be bride2roams knowledge of
the Catholic faith very limited
"Haye You ever been bapti2ea:' he
asked. well, father, | can't trust me
memory to that Are your parents
living:' The mother is Lets have
her address" This Was given and a
telegram dispatched 70 the OLD lady on
the spot, reply paid. The answer came
in due course, "Naceinated. but not
baptized "A Kerry Man in London
Spectator.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
STATE S CRACK SHOTS
TWELFTH ANNUAL MEETING AT
JONES' PARK
The Chief Event of the Day. Three
Team Event. is on This After
noon

The first day Of the twelfth annual
tournament of The State Sportsmcn's 5
association Was signalized by clever
shooting. and large attendance Of
trap experts. Several events were de-
cided this morning, III all OF which the
Pine Bluff shooters made excellent
scores. This afternoon the three men
team race for the riamond trophy is
being decided, and the team composed
OF Messrs. Ed Howell. John Speers
and J. \. Coles. at press hour. was
ahead.
The following is the out-of-town at
tendance at the shoot: Ed Buks,
Memphis; j. NJ Hawkins, Baltimore.
Md; G. H. iliI1man, Nashville. Ark
E Brady, Newton, Tenn. G. Broad
way, r. E. Robertson, G. Matthews, R
L. Ambrose, Jonesboro y. r. Morgan,
J. T. Henry, Eagle -.ul5 !; J. +. Avery,
tAlanta, Ga: c. E. DsLong, Hot
SPRINGS: B. F. Mckenzie, English; c,
D. Conway, Stnttgaft ". b. Powell,
English: c. \. Patterson, Eagle Mills;
J. r. Theaubolt, ST., J. R. Theaubolt,
Jr. G. T. Theaubolt, Henry Hobbs,
John Pemberton. Paul r. Litzke. Lit
tie Rock; Dave Elliott. Kansas City,
J. T. Melch. Robeline, La.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08

Lost, strayed or stolen--a Jersey
COW, light red, straight horns, smooth
crop Off left ear, over bit in right ear.
Reward of $40 will be paid for recov,
cry. Ira Dorton, S22 East Second ave,
nue.. 80
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
LOS. OPPORTUNITIES.
Don't Waste Your Youth; Use 1t In
Getting nn Esiucation.

EoW the handicapped millionaire en-
yics boys in school or college and would
give half his wealth for the chance to
lay IL foundation which they are think
Ing of Spurning, How many an embar
raSsed man i'll public life longs to re-
live boNhood that he may correct the
mistakes OF his youth. How much more
he could make Of his life, of his posi-
tioE. ii he had cultivated his mind
when young lie does everything at q
disadvantage. His grasp OF documents
speeches and books is weak because he
docs not know how to study. He must
employ Il literary secretary TO save him
self from blunders OF grammar, errors
in history and biography or in politi.
cal economy. Il IS forced to petty eX
pelients to hee his ignorance.
Oh, what aIly it is to see sple'.1id
ability made to Go th4 work of medioc
rity. Y man Of magnificent parts. feel
ING that he is by nature intended to
Shine as a leader, is pitiaole when
compelled to 90 the Work ef an inferior
and plod along ia hopeless ohSeul.:t.s.
The eager unrest ot youth that chale&
al restraining >e.IaoI walls and loass 10
rush 10 action ia#.eS havoc with count
less careers. In &iter days the cid PROV,
erb Will ring mociIn@ly in memory:
IIo that will not when he may
When be would he shah have nay.
What are investments n bonds ana
stocks, in houses and lands. compared
With Investment in an education, in
broad deep culture Which viii enrich
the life and be Il perpetual blessing to
ones friends?
To rob oneself ef tho means Of en-
joyment which cduca SION and culture
give has no compensation III mere mon
ey wealth. No material prosperity can
compare With a rich mind II is a per
pctual wellspring OF satisfaction, Of on
ioyment. 1t enables one to bear up I'M
der misfortune. TO Ee cheerful under
distoula 2em2nts .ii;, Is and fluctuations
which oVcIWh@lm Il shallow mind and
an empty heart.-Sllccess.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
CHINESE WASTE PAPER.
Every Scrap With "a Printed Charac-
ter UDon 1t Is Sacred.

You vii! never find upon the street
or in the rubbish heap Il scrap of pa
per with Chinese characters written
or printed upon it. An intelligent
Chinaman. questioned as to the rea-
son. explained the matter in this WAY:
"Mclran m.Jn never tears Zip aHd
flows i'll stleet h:.s i,ttle or hEmnho0l,.
ChiHce litin@ all >...l.e 20 Chjnanan as
Mclean mans Eiiir.
Then he still further c)ucidatr1 the
mystery b>, leading IN. WaN t. the c,l-
lar OF Il Eac" street nous. in which,
piled UP Hcl0r@ Il gigantic furnacN,
We're bundles of paper and sacks Of I2t
terS and newspaptrs printed in eli
nese hicroGlrphic>.
Interpreted into plain English tie o't3
ChinalHan'S story WIS that the orir.
tails regarded the written characters
as so sacred that this furnace WAS cs-
pecially set apart. after being blessed
by the priests. for the incarceration OF
all Chinese letters and documents.
SO sacred indeed was the Chinese
writing regarded by the orientals that
the most compromising letters OF the
hyhbii,iers and the private CORE
spontlenec OF families We're left With
confidence in the care OF the furnace
attendant it being perfectly well
known that he would not risk his Jun
mortal soul by committing the deadly
sin Of pryin@ into correspondence com
mittcd to his care to be given to the
flames
Nor does the oriental regard the Chi
nc&e writing as safc from the haHAs Of
the inlide even when every sei;sf5 u il
has been redt:cad IL fishes -N:er the
iappr has ttpn h}Ir..ra the a@!les ara
carefully collected. and Whom e.oH..!,
has accumulated 10 make a load shes
are shipped on oa;'sl a )toat h2lat@.n.
to the Chinese Merchants cnHDauy,
By which Soc.C.y- -ali sslcil matters ;.fn
InHna9eH. and take, t. Sel. Ws.pI,,' tlry
are scattered over the surface of the
ocean.
70 The Ghinaman it is horrifying to
soc the white mans newspapers used
Tor wrapping purposes. his letters
scattered around the streets to be
walked on and his old books flung
around when read as though of DO
moro SacreGnosS than Old boots \
letter, an envelope the printed Slips
eXtol!ing the virtues Of preserved gin
ger or the characters that advertise
Il laundry fer sale become, fter their
usefulness has passed. as sacred us
the gilded ornaments that add to the
glory Of the JOSS.
One man is empioyed in Chinatown
to collect the waste paper lie calls y,
he stores and the rooms and gathers
It up with the utmost care. tying it i'll
s@eils SO that net II shred shall escape.
With his sacred burden he goes to the
furnace room and hands the sacks to
the important Her&o8:s@c in charge
there, Vile s;o5s,,i il away ready fer tllc
next burning d;I. Twice Il Week the
furnace is lighted and the sacks of pa
fef solela&ly 1l41ui:tad to the flames,
With G2ny incanlalio.!S.-Il Philadelphia
itetQrd.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
How ~ L'r4s,sfl.4tA.i.

IIe H.is!4ca to III ie#@te te the Girl of
his choice. but he was ncrvos.S. First
he thought OF the old romaatie. stNlc:
by my halidon, fair on>, woaid
fliH take thee for my bride Say thau
wilt be ninc. and ere the sun gi.NS the
turrets of Wonder castle the friar shall
unite us in holy bonds.
In the face OF the prevalent ra@e fer
dramas u the olden style. this for.n
seemed satisfactory. Being an q. neIu-
ly modern young man. however, he
though: again and determined to test
The theatrical mode
But just at that moment tt2 fair
Mary iripped into tie room, a!.d he
hlu1ed out:
MarH-er-wi!l YOU or-WoW
But Mary WAS FAR from being con-
tlary. "Oh, that's al! right George"
said She, Il know what you mean
Why, o! coEise | VIII. Papa will be
delighted" New York Herald
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08

FOR RENT-Cottage NO. 21G Olive
ST, between Second and Third. Ap,
ply to Mrs. L. Moore. 90 W. Eighth
avenue. 23t
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
Cai,,M Of EEnrlE DENN.

The earl Ri''itcal references to
pieces Of silver do not i'll tae original
convey the itloa Of cons. bNt ef Wei&hts,
shekels. Tie Mosaic "oAlafon to God
was a half Shekel and de sheke is eX-
planned by loecphuS as c40al to fouf
Athenian d,&ehIn;p of Il va.uc OF about
55& cents in American money. The
first Jewish coinage under authority
was it is believed. struck b. Simon the
Maccabee, about the year l4o 3. {. 1t
consisted of shekels and half shekelS
This coinage had its value siSniiied
upon it, "Shekel Israel" in Samaritan
characters.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
EIlNctrir Ccnf;npis.a.

Least attractive among the insects
which give light are the 50 called "elcc
trio centipet!S," black craTiers with
many legs which have been likened to
selpents' skeletons in miniature. They
move in 4 SnakeliNe fashion, forward
or backward, leaving behind them Il
bright track of phosphoric light. How
ever, they are most accustomed to ap-
pear ia the daytime, when the illumi-
nation they afford is not visible.-Lon-
don Times.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
But fer their conceit, men wouIdu'

But fer their conceit. men wouldn't
find life worth the trouble.
No amount OF culture will maxi a
fat man stop snoring in his sleep.
Any man who travels on his shaFe
displays bad folm to say the least
The man who tells yea he loves
work usually Hires some other r'aa to
dig in his garden.
Many great mans reputation for
wit is due to his having been inter
viewed by a bright reporter.
It sometimes happens that man
makes his homo a sort OF half way
place between his Office and his cab.
The more money man saves WIlt"
young. the more he Will have to spent
on patent medicines when he gets Old.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1902-07-08
Licking Thumbs to Bind a Contract

Goths and Iberians completed an
agreement by licking ard joining their
thumbs, as Scuts,nen once did and
Moors still do, and rlstic lovers once
betrothed themselves by licking their
respective master fingers and then
pressing them together as they vowed
to remain faithful to each other fer.
ever and day. Even now an Ulster
man signifies his assent TO a PROPOSE
tion with, we may lick thooms upo
that" if he does not suit the action t."
the word Ike the lieutenant Who in
1912, on being chaI!enSed to morta!
combat by his own sergeant, accepted
th~{duel by licking his thumb, saying,
''rhere is my parole for it.'-CAAm-
bers' Journal
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
MAIAE MAKES FAST TINE
ON her TRIAL TRIP

Boston. Mass. Aug. 25.-The new
battleship Maine, namesake of Cap
tain Charles D. sigsbees Inflated ship
that was blown up in Havana harbor
four years ago. proved herself Satur-
day to be the fastest vessel of her
class in the United States navy.
over the governments speed
course. off Cape Ann. this latest pro
duct of the Cramp Shinbuilding Com
pany made the remarkable speed OF
1853 nautical miles for four consecu-
tive hours The best previous record
was that of the Illinois, which made
17.44 knots These figures are given
out by the officers of the ship. and.
Of course. are not official The times,
however were taken under the same
conditions as those of the govern
ment board and are only decimally in
correct. The highest speed maintain.
ed during the trial was 1879, and was
made on the last four miles OF the
trip. On this leg the monster battle
ship was set to the limit of 1900
horsepower. Her screws made 1870
revolutions. and she rode along as II
on a mill pond.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
TAFT ON TIE WITNESS STAND
Was Called by the Defense in StditiOn
Case

Manila. Aug. 25-The defense in
the Freedom sedition case has called
Governor Taft as a witness to show
that many former insurgent leaders
who were guilty of various offenses
not recognized by the laws of war
have been appointed to civil posi-
tions. Governor Taft gave testimony
to the effect that many such former
insurgents had been appointed. but
that they had proved honest. straight
forward and earnest He said that
some of them had been guilty OF muir
der from American standards. but
that from their own standpoint they
undoubtedly believed their conduct of
the war TO have been legitimate. Gov
ernor Taft caid that he found these
appointees TO be loyal, and that they
were not chosen because they hap.
pened to be insurgent generals. but
because they were men Of influence
among their own people. He said the
experience OF the civil authorities
with these men had been most salts
factory.
Governor Taft has resumed the gov
ernorship Of the archipelago. reliev.
ing Luke T Wright. who has been
acting governor during Judge Tafts
absence. Commissioner Wright is
preparing to visit the United States
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
Ension Holman a Suicide.

Washington, Aug. 25.-The death Of
Ensign Frederick r. Holman, of the
navy, on August 1S aboard the Celtic
while on the way from Manila to sgd
ney. Australia is reported in a des-
patch received at the navy department
yesterday from Captain Speyers. The
Celtic is a refrigerator ship and pre-
sumably was on her way from Manila
10 Sydney to obtain provisions for the
army and navy in the Philippines.
According to the despatch Holman met
his death by jumping overheard. His
act was presumably due TO i'll health.
He was a native of Colorado.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
KILLED TWO PERSONS
IN ATLANTIC CITY

Atlantic City, N. j.. Aug. 25.-A SEN
sational murder which may prove
double one and more sensational es-
cape and arrest has stirred up consid-
cradle excitement in The city. Leander
Smith. colored, angered because Boyd
Clinton was paying too much attention
to his wife shot and instantly killed
Clinton in the Hotel Garfield basement
Saturday night and then shot his wife,
who is dying in the City hospital.
After committing the deed he made
his escape, stole sail boat at the In
let, and started on a sail for some re-
mote point. A few miles at sea a
squall struck his boat. 1t was cap
sized. He was thrown into the ocean
and the boat drifted from him. BY
heroic efforts he succeeded in crawling
on the upturned craft and all night he
drifted at the mercy of the waves.
About 10 O'Clock yesterday morning he
was found by Samuel Moore, a local
merchant, who was out in his private
launch, nearly dead from exposure.
The murderer told Mr. Moore a story
about being on a fishing trip and that
his boat had capsized. Mr.. Moore took
him to Somers Point and after he land
ed the negro thanked his rescuer, walk
ed off and disappeared. A few minutes
later Mayor E. A. Higbee, Of Somers
Point, received a telephone message
from Atlantic City asking him to ap-
prehend am strange colored man who
may pass that way. The town mar
shall who happened to be on the wharf
when the man landed, remarked the
fact to the mayor Higbee hitched up
his buggy and after a five mile drive
caught up with the murderer. He in
vited the man to ride with him, as the
sun was hot and the day sultry. The
man accepted. Higbee drove him to
the town jail and locked him up.
The murder was premeditated
Smith had early in the evening gone
to the hotel to brain Clinton who was
head waiter at the hotel which is To-
Gated on Virginia avenue near the
beach and was only stopped by timely
! interference. He snealed back about
2 o'clock in the morning and slyly en-
tering the servants quarters put pis.
tol to the head of Clinton and killed
him instantly. His wife was washing
behind a door He shot her in the
back and then fed.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
PRESIDENT ACTS
Az GODF ATHRR
At Christening Of Mr.. and
Mrs. ChauIer'S Baby
New England Cities Vie With Each
Other in Extending Cordial
Welcome 10 Roosevelt

Nahant, Mass, Aug 25.-President
Roosevelt left Newport yesterday at
2 o'clock in a sumptuous train of four
special cars. Accompanying him to
the depot were Mr.. and Mrs. Win.
throp Chanler and Senator and Mrs
Lodge, the two latter journeying with
the party to Nahant, the home Of the
Lodges, where the president spent
the night.
President Roosevelt left the Chan
Ter house about 8 o'clock yesterday
and went out to meet Mrs. Roosevelt,
who had come up on the Sylph dur
ing the night The president was
aboard the ship for about two hours.
Mrs. Roosevelt accompanied him
ashore and spent about half an hour
at the Chanler residence, taking a
look at the baby, but did not remain
for the christening. She left shortly
before the event for Oyster Bay.
The president remained at the
Chanler villa, where the ceremony Of
christening the baby was performed
by Rev. John Diamond, of the Episco-
pal church. in the presence Of the
president, who acted as godfather;
Senator and Mrs. Lodge, the latter
acting as godmother; Mrs. Julia
Ward Howe and large number Of
the personal friends of the family.
The affair was regarded as one of
the most auspicious events of the sea
son. at that fashionable resort, due
not only to the social prominence of
the Chanlers, but to the fact that the
president OF the United States would
act as godfather to the child, for
whom he was named. Travelling on
Sunday was something new for the
president, but in this instance he was
Obliged to depart from his usual GUS
tom. as he went to Newport for no
other purpose than to attend the
christening, and it was necessary to
make the short journey to Nahant
yesterday in order TO maintain his
schedule.
That the enthusiasm attending the
presidents journey shows no abate
ment was made evident yesterday
upon his arrival at Lynn, where the
carriages were in waiting to take the
party to Nahant, the sight was one
long to be remembered. Stretched
from the depot, through the city and
across the peninsula to Nahant. G
distance of four miles, were fully 60,
900 people, who cheered again ant
again as the president passed. There
were two miles Of carriages on either
side of the road.
The arrival at Nahant was a sigma
for another outbreak of applause, and
the two places seemed to vie witt
each other as to which should be the
more cordial in its greeting. Flag'
and bunting were displayed every
where.
This afternoon the president de
iivered an address from the steps o
the public library building in Nahant
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
FIVE WATERSPOUTS
HOVER ABOUT CAPE MAY

Cape May. N. j., Aug. 25.-Between
IL and u o'clock yesterday FIVE wa
terspouts were seen about five miles
Off shore. Three were single shafts
Of water formed during the conflu-
ence of two electrical storms and a
small sized hurricane almost in the
nature Of a cyclone. The other phe-
nomena was a double waterspout
seen to the southeast. The others
were directly east. A succession of
thunder storms with sharp flashes Of
lightning and quick crashes of thun-
der prevailed. All bathers left the
ocean, and many fled from the beach
because Of the turbulent waters.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
GETTYSBURG and WASHINGTON
PersOBaIly.cOnducted Tour via PennSyl-
Yania Railroad

The tour will leave New York 7.55
a. m. and Philadelphia 1920 p. m, Sat
urday. september 27, in charge of a
Pennsylvania Railroad Tourist Agent,
and win cover period Of six days
An experienced chaperon, whose es-
pecial charge will be unescorted ladies
viii accompany the party throughout
Round-trip tickets. covering Transports
ticn. carriage drives, and hotel accom-
modatiOns. will be sold at the extreme
ly low rate Of $22 from New York, S2l
from Trenton. $40 from Philadelphia
and proportionate rates from other
points.
For itineraries and full information
apply TO ticket agents; Tourist Agent
1896 Broadway New York; Court
Street Brooklyn; 7s9 Broad Street
Newark, N. J.; or address George w.
Boyd Assistant General Passenger
Agent, Broad Street Station. Philadel-
phia-
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
COMEDIES AMERICAN DEMANDS
Turkey viii Pay Claims Arising From
Armenian Massacre.

Constantinople, Aug. 25.-An inn
perial order has been issued command
ing that all the demands made by the
United States upon Turkey be conceded
and the relations between the Porte and
the United States legation here have
resumed their normal condition.
The non-execution by the Turkish
government of certain agreements
reached long ago on several questions
affecting the interests OF American citi-
zens led to somewhat strained rela-
tions between the United States lega-
tion and the Porte. Last week Mr..
Leis man informed the Porte that he
would not discuss other matters until
the terms of the settlements already
agreed upon had been carried out. The
demands made by the United States
included the rebuilding Of the Ameri-
can mission house at Kharput. destroy
ed at the time Of the Armenian mas
sacre there and the granting of permis-
sion to Armenian women and children
to join their husbands and fathers who
are naturalized Americans.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
NUGGETS OF NEWS

A Paris dispatch says Sarah Bern
hardt is writing a novel entitled "The
Sadness of Growing Old"
One man was killed and four injured
in a freight train collision in the
Claysville (Pa) tunnel Saturday.
While laughing, Thomas Garrett fell
out of a naptha launch and was
drowned at St Joseph, Mich. ycster-
day.
Two boys, inmates Of the Orphans
Home at Charleston, S c.. we're
drowned in the surf Saturday while
bathing.
Professor J. w. jerks, special com
missioner OF the United States in the
Orient for the war department, ar
rived at San Francisco yesterday
from a years journey throughout
Asia.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
Inc KlIIed In Frelaht Wreek.

New Albany, Ind, Aug. 25.-In a
disastrous freight wreck on the
Southern Railway near Georgetown,
10 miles west of here, yesterday, En-
gineer Red" Duval, Fireman B. Cox
and Brakeman Ross. of one train.
were killed outright. and Engineer
Harry Goodall and Fireman George
Myers. of the other train. we're prob
ably fatally hurt. Fourteen box cars
loaded with wheat, with two locomo-
tives, were tumbled over a trestle 20
a ravine 40 feet below and were de
molished. The wreck was caused by
several cars of the first section of a
through freight breaking on a sharp
incline and rushing at tremendous
speed into the second section on the
trestle.
Evening journal., 1902-08-25
Awoke to Find Wife and Child Dead

Chicago, Aug 25.-Bryant Schroclx
was awakened yesterday morning by
dream that a mishap had befallen
his wife. He found the house filed
with escaping gas and his wife and
two children, one a girl of two years
and the other an infant. dead. It is
supposed that Mrs. Schrock turned on
the gas while temporarily insane. She
left a note, but it was so poorly writ
ten that nobody could read it.