The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1902-05-02

copy Of the seal" gazeds at it "a moment
and found in it something amusing. the
Inscription vas in Hebrew. It had been
used on the seal for many years, and
thc~university and on other official doc;1-
mcnts: There was an inaccuracy in the
Hebrew characters. ;sAs: it is printed
i1ere,. said. he to- the university authori- ;
ties when he: went to see them the peXt
a aa;; Your motto says: Have piece Of
COLI pie !" ..: ,'i't:- ~.
marry your daughter, sir,;'' said the posi-
tive young man~to the father. well,
You don't need to- come to me for sym
pathy,' replied the father, II have trou-
bles OF my own."-Ohio State Journal.
approached St. Peter. I've been telling
folks Who'll am he said, and every time
| that I've mentioned that l was the hero
Of the Johnstown flood a little, weakened
helll'' Every little crowd that gathered
to- hear me tell the story of the Johns
town food that. little old fellow poked
MS way in, and when got through said,
oh, hell" Who is that little weakened
up old cuss that says "Oh. hell!' every
fo"d ! say I'm the hero Of the 50hnstown
around, that is old Noah "-Sew York
Evening Sun.
The Wanderings of Ulysses-"If 'Ulys-
SEES is to be produced in this country
why wouldn't it be appropriate to have
''Then 1T could be taken to Troy
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A proud .terrapln was strolling on the
shore of the bay the other afternoon,
when he met a COW.
| Get out of my way, foolish terrapin,' -
ordered the conceited COW.
~Chase Yourself" suggested the terra
PIN You may be prt tty big, but b. ing
''1ndeed?' asked the COW. "You should
read the papers. Did you not know that
| the beef trust has arranged things so
that l am the center of attraction at
the banQuets. While the best you can
get is a back seat at the free lunch
! counter?"
This teaches us that our appetite runs
up and down with the price list.-Balti-
more American.
| What's In a Name -"Maude is very
ambitious. Do you think she will ever
make Il name for herself?' No: but
she'll probably succeed in getting some
foolish man to give her his."-Philadel-
! phia Bulletin.
At recent dinner given in this city,
reports the Philadelphia Times, there
were present Frenchman and his wife,
VINO mad lately come to this country
They We're having some difficulty with
our language In the course OF the con-
yersation the Frenchman remarked to
ms M next nelgh6or: IL hat mooch interest
Vat you call zem-sky creepers?" "Oh.
no:' broke in his wife, 'zat ISIS not right.
1t ISIS sky scratchers.''
Secretary Hay was submitting to an
omnibus interview on all sorts of TOPICS.
says the New York Times. At the re-
quest Of one Of his interviewers he had
been explaining the status of the inves
tigati6p Of the British mule camp in
! t6rlfWer said:
:-::.:Bt the way, Mr.. Secretary, that re-
darv. What is the
The secretary's look of astonishment
at this suggestion Of connection be-
tween the tropics and the arctic regions
caused the interviewer to hesitate. The
secretary came to his rescue.
| Yes" he said: just like seasickness,
isn't it? One thing brings up another,
somehow"
Easily Explainetl-"Who is that very
quiet man over there in the corner %
| That is Prof. Mustikins. He occupies
the chair of ancient. languages in our
university It's rather funny. it seems
to me, that professor Of languages
should have so little to say" "Oh, well,
you know the ancient anguages are not
spoken tongues any more"
| A Western lawyer was cross-cxamin-
| ing a young woman who had a very
naughty temper. She had testified that
she had seen the defendant ''shy'' book
at the plaintiff.
The. lawyer seized the word
Shy? Shy a book? What do you
mean by that? Will you explain to the
court what the word shy means -
The girl leaned over the desk beneath
the witness box, picked up a law book
and threw it so accurately and so forci-
| bly, at the lawyer that he had hard work
to dodge it.
Il think the court now understands
| the meaning of the word 'shy,''' said
| the Judge gravely. The girl was al
lowed to finish her testimony.-Los An
geles Herald.
Col. A1altby tells of a neighbor of his
at st. David's who went home at Il
rather unusual hour of the day and said
to the family servant: Can you tell
ME of my wife's whereabouts? Bridget
| hesitated for moment and then replied:
Faith. to tell We the truth. really be-
| lieve they are in the washv'-Philadel-
phia Times.
y sharp-faced old lady was travelling
| by rail. Not being accustomed to travel
she found herself with a keen appetite,
| and did not know where to get some:
thing to eat. At last she saw some pies
Ola table at a station. nd,~calling up
a little boy, she. said: Have you got a
mother?' :.Yes'm:'' DO you 20 to Sun
you may get me a piece of pie. Here's
| 10 cents: get me piece, and take one
yourself with the other 5 cents.'' Pres
emily he came back, eating his pie.
Handing her cents, he said: ''There
| was only one piece left. Here's your
| CHANGE
Easily Pleased.-The Host-I'm more
than sorry, colonel, but you know 1 never
| have wine on my table when my children
arc nroSo,>t Tho Co1o,,o1 NJ ofe,n.o