Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1902-03-20
D0FETCHITlSM
On Ticks, Big Feet, the Ugliest Man on
Earth, and Love Powders.

NAA rvs anu Luhp EVWuptos
Ticks is the plague Of the day and
have been for some time, All last sum
mer seed ticks, COW ticks, and every
other kind Of aggravating ticks were on
hand. am very often in the woods,
hunting for owls to make feather beds.
The ticks find me, come to me, get on /
me, stick to me, and the only way to
coax them off is with pair of pinchers,
Nowadays the ticks are different They |
run up to you and take bite and 60 off.
They are what we call the pollytick.
The other day was walking down
the street and stopped to light my pipe |
when l felt something pat me on the
shoulder Ave or six times. / looked
around, and woe behold, there before
my gaze was one OF the biggest rough
est, uglyest looking ticks ever saw,
and thought to myself, now / am
goner, He told me he had been run
ming for -- and from his looks it
was very eVidenthe had been. He ask
ed me for support and told him did
mt have Bit but the man just ahead
of me had plenty and he will divide
with you. So he lit out for the man
just ahead, and if this man wasn't as
sharp as me have no doubt that tick
ate him up. So if man comes up miss
ing you may know what has become Of
him.
Now, the reason why my feet are so
large. When had those shoes made to
order travelled lane that polyticks
had travelled the same day. They were
so thick you could not stir them with
stick, and they stepped on my feet,
caused corns and bunions, and caused
my feet to swell, and the swelling is
not out yet
East, west, north or south of the
! south of Cumberland Mountain there is
no one has a nose to compare with that
one hung on tho face of Redheffer. o
| it is a sight to be seen, but of course the
poor fellow can't help it. The first
time thought it was the Devil, for it
was one Of the most monstrous noses |
ever saw hung to a mans face in all my
days. About three feet of the point
was as red as pickle beet: about part
the middle, was kind of pale blue:
part was slick and glossy and full of
freckles for about rod; part looked
like skinned eel for yard and half.
! Braces and brackets of tissue and fibre
attached that awful trunk to that ugly
mug. The main bracket ran direct from
the forehead between the eyes and ex-
| tended out on the trunk about the
| length of fence rail, and from each
cheek there was brace extended out
several feet on the trunk and that red
part, the point, looks like a stewed &C
cident of cuts bruises and sores. You
will see it going up the street and so
far ahead of its official that he can't pro-
tect it. You can very often hear him
yell in crowded street "Git off my
nose" Sometimes his nose looks like it
had the scarlet fever, and sometimes
the smallpox, and to meet it is really
exciting, and the colors as they pass
along represent every color in the un-
ion. People have spent hundreds of
dollars to see this nosey man, Redhet-
fer. Children are afraid to 60 near him.
On the point are letters painted on a
board Dangerous Don't get too
close" That causes strangers also to
be afraid of it, When one sees it he
wonders what it is, and if his nerve is
good he will just stand there to see the
remainder of the procession pass. In a
few minutes Redheffer will come wad'
ding up with that outrageous nose, the
point 300 yards in front of him. The
point has rubbed the ground so much
that it is worn and turned up like a
sled runner
OF course / don't want this made pub
lie, but those who miss seeing him miss
a chance of their life. if Redhetfer
would only carry some eff my love pow
ders the bad boys would not throw
stones at his nose. Sock, Red, sock.
Dofetchit.