The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1902-08-27
SPOKEN IN JEST.

The proprietor of a little shoe store
on the east side, says the Kansas City
Star was alone in his place recently
when a short, stout young man walked
in and asked to look at a pair of shoes.
He had tried on a number of shoes.
when the shoe dealer looked at him
and said:
I've always deal square NIT people
like you. L am acquainted with your
mother. She always gets her shoes
here, und dot is Why you can have dot
paid for So
The man laced up the shoes and was
about TO tie the shoestrings. when an
other young fellow came in.
You stiff" he growIed to the Gus
TONER, why did you insult my sister,"
You go back TO that place and III
punch you full of holes" replied the
man who had the shoes on
The next minute he received a punch
on the cheek and the fellow who had
done the punching ran out The man
with the new shoes ran after him,
shouting They disappeared around
the corner.
The owner of the store waited half
an hour and then called his wife from
their apartments in the rear. Becky
he said II tink mebe dot man is a
swindlerD
~SwindIer." repeated Becky, why, I
heard you say his mother we're a Gus
TONER
ZACH. dot we're only a business lie,
but it cost me 81. Der next man viz
only get one shoe to try on before he
pays cash down Dots der new rule,
understand"
when AdmiraIs Evans and Schley
were both assigned to duty on the
lighthouse board. which convenes in
rooms at the treasury in Washington.
the colored messenger at the door one
morning stopped AdnniEEI Schley-
II wish" said the dairy, you would
speak a kind word TO Com dore Evans
for me. He's done got it in for me-"
You must be mistaken, George.
SehIey replied II happen to know
! that Commodore Evans, like the rest
of US. thinks highly of your distin-
guished services
"Oh, rs sure" persisted the coIored
man, that Com'dore Evans don't like
me no more"
What makes you think 500" de-
manded Schley-
Well" explained the messenger.
| usually when Com'dOre Evans arrives
| in the mOrnin' he says, Hello. George,
/ you blankety- blank fool. how are you? .
/ but dis mornin' he done say merely,
/ Hello, George. The cOm'dore must
( surely taken a pow'fuI dislike TO me-
I
! Saturday Evening Post: When Gro
Yer Cleveland was president said Mr.
I Joseph Z. Ralph of Washington, he
I frequently enjoyed a days fishing
along the upper Potomac. On these
! outings he lodged at the house Of d
/ rough and hearty farmer.
The first morning he stopped there. s.
( continued, Mr. Ralph, the farmer. de-
/ teTmined to show becoming attention
III a. -
Mr. Cleveland's door az the upright
eous hour of 4 o'clock in the morning
What's the natter demanded the
/ statesman
Mr.. President said the farmer
| we're goin' TO hev FISH in your honor
Tor breakfast. Win you hev EN- skun
or unskun2'
I'll have 'em skun,' laughed the
president. rolling over for another
sleep"
New York Times: Professor Edwin
Ray Lancaster was sitting in his Of
fee in the Natural History museum
London, when he was visited by ar
elderly woman. evidently from the
! country. who carried a parcel which
she handled with the most exaggerated
care She was in state OF great ex-
cltement and exclaimed:
! We GOT Two OF Ell
Two Of What2" inquired the profes-
scr.
Two 'awks' eggs" replied the wo-
man. I'm told they're worth thou
| sand pounds apiece
| The professor. much interested
looked at the eggs. These are not
auks' eggs he said.
They are 'awks' eggs" said his Wis
Itor- My son Joe found EN-"
\ light dawned on the naturalist
The kind OF eggs which are so valu-
able, he remarked gently. are the
eggs Of an extinct bird called the aux
AUX
oh haukH said the woman. ''ITl
pay out that 'Enry Dollhouse as told
| me IL was 'awks' eggs as vas wanted -
And she went away.