The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1902-07-19
NO MORE FUN AT WAKES.

NO" said the graduate from the
9TH ward, there's no more fun to be
had at the wakes. That's why l
moved up here above the bridge.
''When I was a boy wake was
an eagerly anticipated event in the
9TH ward and an unexpected one was
classed with windfalls. Where did
we boys come in? Why, our fun
lay in planning and executing divers
tricks peculiar to the professional
wake goer.
For instance, proud son of Tip
perary would come in and sit down
gingerly on one of the frail-looking
camp stools furnished by the under
takers. Prior to his entrance one of
the screws had been carefully remov-
ed. Of course, he collapsed in heap
on the floor and his picturesque pro-
family was enough to make Joy for
one night.
Again, some one of the boys would
be selected to secure the supply of
clay pipes. Some of these were care
fully stopped up with cork.
with luxurious sigh, 80 loud
that it shook the carefully shrouded
pictures on the wall, the victim would
stretch himself, ,stif1y across his kness,
scratch match along his trousers
leg, apply it to the pipe, and, while
he patiently waited for it to light,
humble from out the corner of his
mouth. What wan av Murphy's
girls was it that was married lasht
Chewsday? Was it Cassie or Mary
Ellen?'
"Then as the burnt match scorch-
ed his fingers he'd drop it, and try
another, until, seeing several neigh
bors engaged in similar struggle,
he'd catch on to the trick, and with
a good-natured wish that the 'owld
bhoy' would fly away wild them
la-ads' he'd restore the pipe to active
service.
Another device that brought Joy
to the heart of wake going youth was
judicious Miller's Best usually pro-
vided in those days. This was, how
ever, attended with more risk to the
Joker than other forms of diversion.
and when the pepper began to an
nounce itself it was considered pru-
dent for the gay spirits, who were re-
sponsible for its presence, to adjourn.
''But there was one joke that for
delicacy and flavor far outstripped all
others. 1t often happened that as
the night wore on some of the mourn
ers would adjourn to the neighboring
saloon. There was the boys chance.
GA keen-eyed sentry reported when
the visiting contingent of mourners
showed signs of returning to the wake
house. Then was the Grape removed
from the door on which it belonged
and hung on one further down the
street.
"The whole noisy party would
thus be led to tramp up the stairs of
a fiat or tenement as they were then
called, where every one was sleeping
peacefully. Arrived at the second
floor there would ensue the usual dia
logue, while the boys downstairs
hugged each other and rolled around
in delight
"'A-are you there, McManus?'
t' I am
"'On phwat fure does the corpse
live?'
Why, begob, 1 t'aut he lived on
this hure.'
Faith, if he does then his family
has all turned Protestan' an gone to
bed. Divii a candle is lit in there.
""Thry the fure above, says Nc
Manus.
upon that the entire band would
proceed all through the house, round
ly denouncing the policy of land
lord whose meanness led him to put
out the lights in thhe house where a
corpse lived, and incidentally frigh-
teniug the tenants into the belief that
the place was on fire.
"Of course the mistake would be
finally discovered, but not until the
lie had been given several times and
occasionally those who walked up
stairs rolled down.
"What is that you say? l should
have been ashamed of myself? Well,
perhaps should, but it was very fun
ny all the same. ."-WeaO York ,SNn.
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