Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1902-11-29
MIR. DooLEYsT TO MARRY


All the world loves a lover. and GER
tainiy no exception will be made IN the
case OF Finley Peter Dunno, better known.
to tho literary world as "Air. Dooley.
whose engagement has just been an
nounced Mr.. Dunno, somehow or other,
has never been looked upon as a marry
ing man. In fact the public Of recent
months have regarded him as their exciu-
sivc property and rather feel d1sappolnt-
ed. not to say disgrEntlcd, that he didn't
consult them about his matrimonial plans
Mr.. Dunno. however. apparently has been
very reticent about this pleasant little ar
fair which principally concerns himself
and Miss Margaret Abbott, very attrac-
tive and likeable American girl OF literary
attainments who used to live in Chicago,
Of the engagement leaked out. it seems
and has created quite little hutter OF
pleasure and surprise.
OF course everybody wishes the prospec-
tive bride and groom well. and if they
are not happy after the union. it will not
he because they lack friends. We cannot
refrain, however, from Offering Mr..
Dunne-or rather, Mr.. Dooley-a bit of ad-.
vice. He'll have to be careful how he
writes now-leastwise when he alludes to
subjects bearing on love and matrimony.
Whatever he says, no matter how humor-
Gus, quaint. or original it may be. will
be taken literally, and will be construed
to have direct bearing on his private
life. He may protest as much as he
pleases, and even publish cards denying
the motives for the articles, but the pub
lie will continue obstinately and pig
headedly obtuse There are some penal
ties which the humorists have to pay
and this is one of them. So be careful
Mr.. Dunno. or you'll be irritated beyond
expression.
I, may not be amiss in this connection
to recall the fact that Philosopher Dooley
has already had word or so to say
about the domestic relations. We don't
suppose that they were in any way
prompted by thoughts of the pleasant
event soon to take place, but they are
none the less interesting and amusing. In
the Home Life of Geniuses, the author
in the form of Dooley, says "a woman
ought to be careful who she marries,'
whereupon the ever-alert Hennessy
promptly responds: $50 ought the man"
Then Dooley rejoins: 1T don't make so
much difference about him. When
mans married, he's married man.
That's all We can say about him. "
coorse, he thinks marredge is goin' to
change tn whole current iv his bein, as
Hogan says But it doesn't. Afther he's
been hooked up FIR a few months, he
finds he was marrid befure, even II he
wasn't, which is often the case, dye mind
TIL first bride iv his bosom was tn Days
Wurruk, an it can't be put off. They Sc
no groun's FIR dissolvin' that marredge,
Hinnissy. Ye can't say to tn Days Wur-
ruk, Here take this bunch iv alimony
an go on the stage.
Then after further colloquy along this
line, Mr.. Dooley adds: But woman, I
tell ye, bets all she has man don't
have to marry, but woman does" When
Hennessy asks, Eye was never marrid?"
Dooley replies, mo, I say, givin' three
cheers. I know about marredge tn way
an astronomer knows about tn stars
Pm studyin it through me glass all tn
time" On another occasion Dooey and
Hennessy engage in a lively discussion
concerning money and matrimony, and
the former asks: Can man marry on
twinty-five Gollars?' to which Hennessy
episrammatcally replies. He can if he
can get the money
Later on, after the subject has been
pretty we'll threshed out, Hennessy pins
Dooley down and propounds the following
query: Dye ra-ally think a man ought
to marry on twenty-five dollars?'
To this question Mr.. Dooley gives re-
ply which blocks further argument. He
says: "If he's that kind iv man, more
money thin that wud be wasted on him"
=-=----=-.
1t doesn't seem unnatural that the Post
Office Department should discourage mat
rimony among its employees. It's sole
concern is with the malls.
TIE army and the navy will fight it out
to-day on the gridiron.>
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