Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1902-03-21

facetious Over His Experience as Cam
paisner-ne Seems to Appreciate Coco
Point Against Himself Even Though It Nigh
Puncture the Self-Esteem Of Most Men
Therein Lies in Evidence His Nobility o.
Nature.
William J. Bryan, who described
himself as "a country editor from the
plains" was the guest OF honor at the
Press Clubs spring smoker lately in
New York, and for half an hour he
amused his fellow newspaper men with
funny stories and incidental referen.
ces to his political past and future.
He began with story apropos ol
the declaration that he had defeated
himself by talking too much:
Il didn't tell this story in the cam
paign," he said. "A man died in q
town and no one knew him. They
took him to the morgue, where q
young man came and said it was hi.
father. He ordered handsome fu.
neral. The undertaken put the body
in readiness for fine burial, and
when all was prepared the son came in
to take q farewell look. Just then the
corpse's mouth fell open and a set ol
false teeth rolled out. Its not my
father cried the young man, and re.
fused to pay for the funeral.
"The indignant undertaken protest.
ed. but it was no use. He pulled the
body out of the upholstered coffin, re.
marking angrily: You idiot, you
might have had a glorious burial il
you'd only kept your mouth shut.
Well, that story doesn't hurt my feel.
ings now. I'm used to it,"
Story No. 2" MY mouth has been
a subject for criticism ever since en-
tered politics. When I look in the
glass l feel there is room for criti.
cism. l spoke during the campaign
in little Illinois town. In front ol
me sat man rigidly attentive. He
drank in every word 1 said; I think
he had drank in something else be-
besides. When ! finished he came ur
and wrung my hand. Mr.. Bryan,
he said. you are wonderful, wonder.
full. You are the first man ever saw
whose back teeth / could see all the
time he was speaking"
Story No. 81 enjoy the cartoons
even though they are at my expense
There was one I enjoyed best OF ell.
It appeared just after the Kansas City
convention. It represented me a. q
topper standing in a state Of utter in
toxication in front of . ginmill, a bot
tie in my hand labelled 'l6 to l.
David B. Hill was represented as q
little girl, with braided hair down his
back, tugging at my coat.tails and
pleading: Father, Dear Father
Come Home with Ne Now"
Story No. A." Back in 1888 took
part in my first campaign. In the
fifty speeches l made l explained a.
wall as l could the reasons why
thought the Republican candidate fol
Governor should not be elected.
went more into detail than I do now
After the election and the Republican
candidate had been elected by 5000
majority 1 felt that the Governor-eleci
must feel . little hard toward me 10,
the part had taken against him.
II felt nervous every time I was in
his presence. 1 expected him to re-
proach me. A few months afterward
we were on the same platform and
was all trepidation. 1t was . mixed
programme and the Governor intro
duced the speakers. When it came
my turn a\msn whispered. w. J
Bryan next He said: Il Introduce
w. ]. Bryan Then as l stepped for
ward he detained me BY holding oul
his hand. 1 was greatly agitated, re-
membering how / had antagonized
him. He said: Beg pardon, Mr.
Bryan, do you speak or singf'"
Story No. Sd have had occasion
several times to say that l am not 6
candidate for any Office and have nc
plans for any nomination whatever
l thought I had made the statement
broad. A young reporter came to m.
the other day in st. Joe and asked m,
the question over: DO you mean t
say that you would not run for ofic,
under any conditions whatever at an,
time during the rest Of your lifef
told him that was asking too much
l said, Il won't give bond for life.
He sent 1t out pretty accurately. On,
editor has said of that statement: Il
Mr.. Bryan decides to give bond h,