davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Az 1t Really Was.

"Lay on, Macduff" cried Macbeth.
Macduff was motionless.
Whatll be the matter noo?" said
Macbeth. "Dinna ye ken that's the
cue"'
II was ma sure" said Macdur
whether ye were just recht in yer
grammar. thought We meant lie on
an that wadna stand, but it's all
recht moo"
And the conflict began.-Toledo Bee.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Lake Shore Makes Fast Run

Toledo, o, Dec. 22-The
Twentieth Century Limited on
the Lake Shore mede a fast run
today between Toledo and Elk
hart. The run of l34 miles being
made in l27 minutes. A part of
this lun was made in dense fog
The train made up thilty minutes
lost time between this city and
Elkhart.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Logic.

'The vessel is OH the rocksw shouted
the captain, thrusting his head in the
ships saloon.
That's good news" remarked the
idiotic passenger who was taking his
first trip abroad. $50 long as we are
ON the rocks we can't sink."-Ohio
State Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

1t may be of interest to some of
our young men to know that &C.
cordipg to the strict rules of eti-
quette man is not allowed to
give his lady friend anything
other than flowers, books or bon
bons unless it has been preceded
by the diamond ring. You better
get the ring. Moorehesd Time !.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
A Collection In Sigh,

"Now," said the irate debtor, "if you
disturb me again you'll get what you're
looking for"
'"Thanks." replied the urbane col
lector. II will try to make It con-
venient to disturb you at about this
time tomorrow. Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Doing Wei.

Visitor-Well, Tommy. how are you
getting OH at school?
Tommy (aged eight-First rate.
amt doing as we'll as some of the
other boys, though can stand on my
head. but have to put my feet
against the wnll.-New York News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
A Wise Ans,yer.

The shah once asked group of court
iers whom they thought the greater
man-himself or his father. AT first
he could get no reply to SO dangerous
question, the answer to which might
cost the courtiers their heads. At last
willy old courtier said. Your father,
sire, for, though you are equal to your
father in all other respects, in this he
Is superior to you-that he had great
er son than any you have"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

II hear your brother is an assistant
bookkeeper"
Yes, indeed. And. do you know, he
proved himself so clever that they've
passed him over the first and second
assistantships and made him third as
sistant right off."-New York World.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Aomeseekers' Excursion tc the
North West, and Southwest.

Via the North West Line. Home
seekers excursion tickets at great
ly reduced rates to all points west
and northwest with favorable re-
turn limits. For full particulars
apply to agents Chicago & North
Western R'y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Her Observation.

"Do you believe that monkeys can
talk like human beingsy"
NO." answered Miss Cayenne. "but
I have known human beings who could
chatter like monkeys" = Washington
Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

No COnHOlntfOn For Crncked China.
How many housekeepers there are
that can sympathize with the old Vir-
ginia lady who said to her friend on
finding treasured old cup cracked by
a careless maid, II know of nothing to
compare with the afiiiction of losing
q handsome piece of old china" Sure
ly," said the friend, ut is not so bad
as losing ones children" "Yes, 1t is,
for when your children die you do
have the consolation of religion. you
know"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Duxlness.

When man opens up u business, the
papers say he has large circle of
friends. and after the accounts begin
to accumulate in his ledger he begins
to believe it.-Atcllison Globe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
badly Exnres.ed.

The builder of church on return
ing thanks for the toast Of his health
which had been proposed remarked:
II fancy am more fitted for the
scaffold than for public speaking"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Never still.

Mrs. Naggem-And do you love me
still?
Naggem (wearily)-I don't know; I've
never had the chance!-San Francisco
Bulletin.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Hi. Homecoming,

Won Blumer-I wonder how 1 came
to make SO much noise Inst night?
Mrs. Won Blumer-Oh, that was only
because you tried SO hard not to.-De.
troit Free Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

"Nyhat do you suppose is the secret
of Miss Bland's social success?"
"She always remembers exactly what
to forget. indianapolis News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

Practically all the exports Of Africa
are natural products. While her imports
are exclusively manufactured articles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

One does not have to fall asleep to
dream.-New York News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

No one likes to be reminded that
there is another side to the story
Atchison Globe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25

A woman's whim is often mans
fatc.-Boston Transcript.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
BOILING III DOWN,
A Valuable ...As"n In the Gentle Art
uf t)E,itt}nu

Valuable Lesson In the Gentle Art
OF OEittfnR.
Vt was this way" was explaining
quite frcs!. and young appearing
gentleman to Il niEch older companion
as took seat near them in the res
taurant. 81 thought that it was quite
clever short story, and as the pro-
fcssor had asked me to read it to him
for the purpose of criticism lie listened
patiently for the thirty minutes that it
touii me to so through 1t.
Good for the first writing lie said.
but you must learn the art of omitting.
You have unnecessary sentences. Find
them. omit them and come and read it
again
II followed his advice, and the next
time 1T took me twenty minutes to
read it.
Better lie said. Try it again, for
there is more you can omit
II didn't show the annoyance that /
felt, but did some more cutting and
condensing. Then read it to him
again in fifteen minutes.
That is nearer to the correct thing,
he said, with an approving nod, but
there is chance for little more prun-
ing
1T was with an effort that re-
strained myself, but knowing that he
is an authority In literary matters for
the third time went to the slaughter
of the innocents and, returning the
next day, read ii to him in ten minutes
That is something like he OK
claimed, slapping me OH the back.
Another little emitting scancc will fix
IT.
""This is little too much' am
swered as | seized my manuscript,
with II show of feeling. You had bet
ter tell me to omit every word of it,
That's it, my boy. that's it, he re-
piled. 1T Is too much. Omit the rest,
und you will never hear Il word OF ad-
verse criticism.'
''Ill be hanged If didn't take his
advice again and throw the story in
the wastebaslset" New York Herald.
The Extinct Northern s.Sca Cow"
In the year 17ol the Bering explor-
crs discovered gigantic species of ryti-
nae, or northern sea cow These enor-
nous manatees were similar in gener-
Ill habits to those of the South Ameri-
can coast and We're from twenty to
thirty feet in length and from ten to
twenty feet in girth. They were very
stupid, harmless beasts and lived by
browsing OH seawceds and other ma
rine yrowths near the land. The sail
ors We're not slow in finding out that
a sea COW steak beat seal meat "all
hollow" From 175i until 17GS they
We're the principal food of the sailors
and explorers on our western coast.
This being the case 1t is not at all sur
prising that the northern sea COW, new
cr very numerous species should be-
come extinct in the short space of four
teen years. The last of the giant man
atees was killed in September. 17G9, a
few months less than fourteen years
after the discovery of the first one,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1902-12-25
Quick Promotion,

And the conflict began.-Toledo Bee.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
NEW FORK STOCK MARKET.

Opening, Highest, Lowest Quotation
 Following are the closing prices reported hy Prince x Whitely. bankers and brokers, 52 Broadway, New York, and 15 Center street street, New Haven:
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
Eimamcia1.
THE STOCK MARKET.
Marked It. Course ys.ter


 day.
 New York. Oct. 2O.-IrreguIarity marked the course of to-day's stock market. market. The controlling In- fluences were the uncertainty as to the outcome of the coal miners convention, the rise on foreign exchange and 1he threatened action of the couthern courts against the latest railroad combination. There were some material gains at the outset, however, especially in St Paul, Baltimore and Ohio, Pennsylvania, Mis- souri Pacific and Wisconsin Central. On the other hand such active issues as Reading, Louisville and Nashville, Nor folk and Western, and Atchison were lower. The strength of St. Paul was probably due to reports of an early an- nouncement of rights" The first re- actionary movement was checked by the increased strength of Baltimore and Ohio as we'll as pool movements In sev- eral other stocks including Illinois Gen. tral. At the same time Union Pacific which had been fairly steady sold off and St. Paul also lost a point from it's best figure. Advances in the issues of Minneapolis, St. Paul and Soult Ste. Marie, Toledo, St. Louis Western pf, Kansas City Southern, and Canadian Pacific were ascribed to the various pools interested in those stocks. Prac- fi1a llryf Inc f,,H, ot in other quarters. though the strength of Amalgamated Copper resulted partly from London's advance in the price of that metal. The United States Steel shares were firm and in fair demand Trading in the fractions was va:y mod crate. Chicago bought heavily )f the pool stocks through some of the leading commission houses. and Pitt5burg and Cleveland orders for the same class of stocks were numerous. The hard coal stocks, while not displaying pronounced pressure, showed little support, and the soft coalers, which were prominent in the early operations, closed with lit- tie or no improvement. Money was de- cidedly easy, opening at 6 per cent, ad- vancing E point, and then loaning as low as per cent Most of the days loans were at per cent. The down. ward trend of the list was more marked during the afternoon session, and prac- tically al! Of the early gains were lost at the close. The exceptions to this rule were mainly in the miscellaneous group. London was seller all day aggregate sales amounting to about 25,000 shares, These were made chiefly in the early rise and included the soft coalers, Atchison and Southern Pacific. Local monetary conditions continued fairly satisfactory. The sub-treasury reported additional purchases of bonds to the par value of $1,900,0O0, which with interest probably brings aggregate purchases up to $130O0000.
 The bond market was quiet and irreg- ular to-day in sympathy with the un- even stock speculation. Total sales par value S2,6S5 GOO.
 United States bonds were all un- changed on the last call.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
THE RED MEN.

The hunting season is now at it's height, and in consequence numerous cases of trespassing are heard of. Dur ing the past week hunter was dfscov- cred on the reservation of a local tribe of Red Men, Hammonassett No. i, and taken captive by a scouting band on the lookout for pa1e-faces. The captive will be adopted at the setting of the sun council of this tribe, on the twenty first, and inducted into the mysteries of Redmenship. A large gathering of warriors is expected to witness the cer- emonies.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
IN MEMORY OF MISS PORTER.
Parish House In Farmingtsn to be Open,

Parish House in FarmingtSn to be Opened
 Tuesday. October 2s.
 The parish house In memory of Miss POr- ter of Pennington will be opened and pre- scnted 10 tine Ecclesiastical society Of the Congregational church of that town Tues day, October 2s, at o'clock. Mrs. Dow of the Porter school extends cordial linvita- tiOn to Miss POrteF's pupils 10 take lunch at the school at 1:30 o'clock. and the ladies of the church willie serve tea in the par lOrS at the conclusion of the exercises. The exercises will be conducted by Professor William M. Sloane of Columbia university, Professor John H. Wright of Harvard, Professor Thomas D. Seymour of Yale, Pro lessor Frank D. Sanders of Yale. Dr. Rob- ert Keep of Norwich and Rev. Dr. James C. Johnson of Pennington.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
Government Bonds.
Cotton.

C0ftons Reported over the private wire of /, L. Mo. Lean & Co.,. 25 Broad street, New York: New Haven office $40 Chapel street, Hu, hlnger Building. Norman A. Tanner. manager.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
YESTERDAYS DEEDS.

Those Filed for Record in the Office of
 the Town Clerk.
 The following deeds were filed for rec ord in the office of the town clerk yes- terday:
 Warranty deed-C. E. HoadIey to James B. Martin, 50 feet on Lake place. Quit claim deeds-Wifhelmina S. Scheidler to August Munsch, 34 feet on Linden street; Frederick W. Futile es- tate to Edwin M. Futile, property in Fair Haven East; Eugene c. Buckman to C. E. Hoadley, 50 feet on Lake place. Mortgage deed-Rowina Cagiano to Ricardo Selantano, $200, four acres in Westville.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
Closing Prices.

Following are the closing prices reported by Prince & Whitely Bankers and Brokers, 52 Broadway, New York, and 15 Center st. New Haven:
 Bi,l. Asked. Adams Express Go ..,,..,.....200 240
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21

An interesting feature of the recent Agricultural Fair at Danbury was an exhibition of Acetylene Lighting. The apparatus or generator for making this beautiful light out of Calcium Carbide is now perfected to such an extent that an inexpensive machine can be installed in every building that needs better and cheaper light than it is getting from other sources.
 Acetylene is as safe or safer than any other kind os artifical light
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
POSTOFFICE CLERKS ELECT OF
 TIGERS.

At a recent meeting of the New Ha- ven Postoffice Clerks association a new board of officers was elected, as follows: President, Philip J. Murphy; vice pres ident. Walter G. Doolittle; secretary, J. Jacobs; treasurer, M. J. Murphy. This association, composed of clerks in the main postoffice and branches, is now in fiourishing condition and doing good work in the cause of the clerks All are hopefully looking forward to the final passage of salary bill at the ap- preaching session of congress.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
GOAL IS KING. ]"

small amount of Washington co.opera. tive Mining Syndicate stock--a Coal Col, poration which is paying EIGHT PEHJ CENT. PER ANNuNI ON PAR VALUE can still be had at No. s4S Chapel Street. New Haven.
 T. E. DAVIES. Agent.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
SOCIAL SCIENCE

The New Haven Social Science asso- citation will meet at the office of H. G.. Newton, SIS Chapel street, next Thurs day evening at 7:SO; subject, Enforce ment of Law" Discussion will be open- ed by S. F. Thrasher.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
HONOR FOR PROFESSOR GIBBS.

Doctor of Mathematics Given by the Cnl-
 versity of Christiana.
 Another honor has been received by Pro lessor J. W. Gibbs of Yale from a foreign university. This is the degree of Doctor of Mathematics. It was conferred on him by the University of ChriStiana. Professor Gibbs is constantly at work at Yale on problems of higher mathematics.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1902-10-21
CONGRESSMAN RUSSELL.

of Putnam, who is attending Congressman C.. A. Russelll at his home in this place. is. sued statement of the congressman s condition this morning. Mr. Russell is much improved and while yet in serions condition is better than he has been since the complications developed q week ago.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
Deafness Canno,be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion Of the ear. There k only one way ,o cure deafness. and that ia by constitutional remedies Deafnes. is caused by an infiaIned condition of ihe mucous iining of the Eu>iaehian Tube VI hen the tube gets inraned YOU have A tuinoiiug sound or imperfect hearing. and NheH II Is entirely closed deafues, Is the result. and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored tu il- normal condition. hearing wil be destroy ed forever; nine case, out Of ten are cau,- ed by eataFTh. which is nothing but an ihiismed condition ot the mucous surfaces.
 We will give on~ Hundred Dollars for any case si deafness leaused by catarrh) that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars. free.
 F. !. Cheney k Co. Toledo. 0. l1S Sold hy Druggists, 15c.
 Hal 's Famty Pills are the best.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05

F. 4. Gilman sent us sack Of Irish potatoes Wednesday. picket from q certain part of his field of fifty acres which are well worth seeing. They aIe without doubt the finest. largest and most perfect lot of spuds we have ever looked upon. Coffman has ten acres which viii average 275 basEels ta The acre. and his whae crsp on liftv acres will average l00 bushels to acre Ibis sounds like a fdirY tale. but M. have the geutienan's word for It, and are not particularly surprised. in view of the fact that We know that St. Fran cis county, Arkansas, is the garden spot of tbe world.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05

The Christmas purchases Of Santa Claus will laos ike 3gc II counterfeit money # he fai.s u have 4 frw ehs5ee books included. Cultivate the minds ot the children and encourage them io read good books l. k ti.e best thing you can G0 faT them. f you want them t0 gro" ID to b. Intelligent men anG women ef whom y9a inag Wrii be pt0ud We think oHr liue of book comprises about 500 titles mos; os which afr staunaId works of Fiction and tie yriy best of literature Every thing from the A. B C boak to the Hoy Bihic. Come and see how cheap dhd pretty they aTp
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
DANCE AT MARION.

Though the weather was horribly in- element fast night, the beauiiful maids and the handsome and gallant swans of Forrest City gathered. as Ter rrr- yions arrangement, at the Marion ho- tel, to trip the light fantastic" and they spent few hoars most delight fully in the dizzy waltz and the en- trancing two steps. Mrs. Goddard the charming host, was most gracious. as is her nature. and all certainly en joyed her hospitality Those present were: Miss Eula Williams wiih R. H BrLote; Miss Craig with Jas. Gillian: Mss Hill with W. r G rman: Miss Cummings with E. R Nortoi Misses Prew-lt aHd Fitzpatrick sith Oliver Rowland; Mrs Beck with l. F. Pal Hti: Mss Aud-rsuu with k.,on Fer gnsot-. Mss RaiI~Sgp with DF ~hie ds 1. Miss Mriwiu With Jas. II Iztf9: T. ( f"thre. Jr.. Mr. aud Mrs Wa4ton. Mrs. Goddard
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
Holiday Excursions over t.ie South
 ern Railway.

Round trip tickets will be snla from stalions m ArAsnsas. SnulhtIn Mlssou. II. Indian and Oklahoma Territories and Texas. to ail stations IT Ipnnes str. Mississippi. Alai'ama. Georgla. Florida, Nor h ana Sunth Caloltia ano southern Kentucky. at one lare plus B BD for lhs round tTiF.
 Tickets will he soid December I3. T. T. =, 23 and D. Each ticket good tu return 30 Gays.
 The Southern Railway i~ tie Short i.iue ffo,n Msmphis to Chattanooga and runs it's trains through without "iauge ef cars, 1T eanduclofs Il is thr best way to reach most joints in the states nam.d above
 Call far tickets to read via Southern Railway from Memphis.
 C. A. BESsc0TEg. G F. A.
 Chataneaga, Tenn. (. \ l'ESAUsSUEE. D r. A.
 Memphis. Tennessee.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05

Some people know nothing about the art ot conversation. They talk iuces sanity to any one who 5 sn unfortunate as to fall into their company. IL never cutters their miud to give their victims an opportunity 10 speak a word in re- ply. They seem 10 think that no one can say anything worth hearing but themselves. They are always ready to lecture on any and all subjects. They aie pores. thelr seJf-cunceit is unsuffi cient; and they should be squelched, A they are out west, by being tod to hire d hall
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
Saved ar Grave Brink.

II know wou q long ago have been in my grave, 9rtes Mrs. .. II. S-Nsom o' Decatur. Ala. If t Lad not been for Electric Bltters. For three years I suffer- ed untold agony from the worst forms Of indigestion. waterbgask stomach and bowel dyspepsia But iAis excellent medi cine did me word Of good. since us ing Il can eat heartily and have gained 5 pounds For indigestion. loss of 8 D. petite, stomach, liver and kidney troub es Electric Bltters are a positive guaranteed cure. OnIy 50c al Dr. ]. II. UunayaHt' 5 drug store.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05

\ Fountain Pen is joy to the pen man. We have good trade on thi- class of goods. and il is our aim to sup py ths b. st pen on the market at !, reasonable price. With this end in View. We have purchased the Iar2es stock ever carried III this city. Th,. JoiDtless Lucky Curve Geo. S. Parker Fountain Pen IS the success Of the age. We have them in all grades. Do you want really good Fountain Pen. Then try the Lucky Curve. For sal- At the Newsstand. Landyoigt & Vada- kin
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
A Million Voices

Could hardly express the thanks Of Homer Hall of West Point. Ia. Listen why: A severe cold had settled on hi. lungs. causing a most obstinate cough Several physicians said he had consump ilon, but could aot help him. When all thought he was doomed he began to us. Dr. klng's New Discovery for Consump tlon and arttes-''it completely cured ne and saved my life. now weigh 227 lbs '' It's positively guaranteed for Coughs. Colds and Lung troubles. Price soc and Fl %. Trial bottles free of Dr. J. IL. DanaVant.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
kodol Dyspepsia Cure

Dlgests all classes Of food. tones and strengthens the stomach and digestiy, organs. Cures dyspepsla. indigestion. stomach troubles, and makes rich re- blood, health and strength. Kodo re- builds wornout tissues, purifies, strength eDs and sweetens the stomach. Gov G 4 Atkinson of " Va. says: have taken a number Of bottles Of Kodol and have found Il to be very effective and indeed 4 powerful remedy for stomach ailments recommend II 10 ny friends. J. I Sanders.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05
Ballard Horehound syrup

Immediately relieves haar,p. efoup, cough. oppressed ratiling aud d fIicult btratiihg. Henry C. StearHs. druggist, shuiisburg, Wisconsin, writes, May 20. 1901: 'I have been selling Bsllard's Horehound Syrup for two years, and have never had preparation that has given better satisfaction. l notice that when l sell bette. they come back for more can tohrstly recommend II. 25c, j0c and sl GO nt j. I. Sanurfs.
The Forrest City times., 1902-12-05

We were conceited enough to thinl; that when We had called attention tu the matter twice in our most genteel ana courteous manner, that the rail. road company or the street committees would have rebuilt the sidewalk lead. ing from the Forrest City hotel to l.. Rolwage & Co.'s corner ere now. but alas. We reckoned without our friends and ihe place where walk ought 10 b. reia aims as heretofore-almost i'm passabie and nuisance. Come, gen tiemen. give us good walk along that me. Won't you?