The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1902-06-08
FUN OF THE WORLD.

FUN OF THE WORLD.
me see-this is May isn't itr said the nan Of
business preparing begin the dictation of letter
country
NO, sir" frgidiy replied this typewriter girl.
This is Miss Gumford.~
zz gEz
The caller had been descanting the advantages OF
cork soles as preventive Of colds in vet weather.
and the expression had caught Kitty's
Mamma, she said. AFTER the visitor had gone away.
how can anybody with cork soul so to heaven7
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A railroad story tells OF Western who
boarded train back and tried ride the
representation that he railroad When asked
for his fare he had TO credentials 70 show. but
produced his switch key This almost enough
the conductor and he turning away when sudden
thought struck him. Turning the Westerner. he asked:
What time is it, The Western pulled his
watch nd replied: Ten T. Aha" said the
conductor fare. faker- You're railroad
zgzgg
A named Johnson candidate for consulshp.
the delegation backing him for the place
vacancy was finally found to prom
ised to appoint the candidate. Thereupon johnson
the State department 10 undergo the usual
animation TO his fitness He had no trouble until
he reached the sixth question: How many Hessans
came to this country TO fight the English
johnson know. did propose be left
entirely. This what he for answer.
"A great many more than ever went back
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One night country doctor was detained at farm
house where husband and wife VIGOROUSLY IN
compatible. the kitchen bedroom. where ne
installed he forced to hear every word OF
TRADE which the woman poured upon the head Of her
husband. The victim bore II without word At last,
the doctor relates, the 70 the barn
nightly ;the critters" With his hand
of the door he flung back his shoulder:
WAL. Sarey there's that in ye that nothin but the
ground'H take cut"
zREg
The natives of New Guinea hold tenaciousiy TO their
customs. and though they regard the white man as
being wonderful powers and almost superhuman in his
rfar~a
practice particular Is right and the native
way wrong Accordingly. of the Anglican Mission
staff surprised not long when husband said:
White women do not smoke LITERALLY eat tobacco;
wish Guinea would follow their examples"
But it rather spoiled the sentiment when ne added
There would be tobacco for the men,.
zzg FL
Representative sibley of Pennsylvania elect
ed once on Democratic ticket the Republic
an ticket from district. reproached at
political meeting for changing his politics.
You people who stick the tenet of sixteen 10 ono.
said siihey in reply remind Of a once in
a lunatic asylum. He capering through the han
astride broomstick.
...Ah hs said to him. thinking be pleasant.
see you having a fine ride your horse
This isn't horse he replied
Isn't horse? said L. Then what is it,?
TITS hobby he replied If it was horse could
get off,
gEgg
Mrs Iangtry as has bruited about in the news
papers has having her face made over and the
lines of time eradicated shop recently trav-
Ter ,ist back from London she asked a travelling
bag Of alligator skin The shopkeeper who had none
of that particular brought instead some of the
smooth leather.
And you tell me this is alligator objected the
Jersey Lily Why. 1t is perfectly slick Where are
wrinkles
.Ah madam replied the willy dealer. who knew his
customer wrinkles The correct sliga-
tor bag was made from the skin Of an alligator who
had been massaged"
Ks zEE
When the Rev Madison c. Peteers. at time pop
ular Philadelphia divine very young man. ne WAS
invited to deliver the in a rural church on
Sunday in June. day extremely warm; and
behind the pulpit had been raised in the interests
of ventilation Mr. laid the rather voiuminons
MS Of the sermon prepared the desk Of the
PULPIT began but the third word had not passed his
Inns when breeze window caught the Ms and
blew its hundred oddpages OF noesze paper scattering
1ustered a moment; then. recovering himself he
smiled and said:
well. perhaps that sermon has reached more OK you
than II gone from the pulpit in the usual manner
z K
Senator Burrows sat in his committee-room when a
man ne knew slightly IN and asked for the
loan Of dollar. had good story and the Senator
was inclined to give him the money lie found though
that the smallest money he had was g bill
You take this the restaurant. buy iS-cent
cigar take dollar yourself and bring the change
said the senator.
In a few minutes the came back. smoking
cigar and handed the $ cents.
Did you I to have the cigar tooE ne
asked the Senator.
The Senator equal 10 the emergency
Certainly he said that come 20 think 81
II I am sorry / put l5-cent limit on the cigar
4 nan with your should smoke cigars that cost
less than three for dollar Get OUT