Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1902-02-13
!; 4 Woman Vno Dared. s;
l BY JULIAN RALPH

BY JULIAN RALPH.

| have a story for the women'S rights
advocates to weave into their argument
when they go to Albany this winter to
argue for those privileges which the
sex can have whenever it wants them,
but which it does not possess because
only a few women desire them. This
is the best story | ever heard for
womans rights argument, because 1t
shows how woman forsook her own
affairs, invaded the mans field OF prac-
teal affairs, and made him rich against
his will.
The curtain rises in Minnesota. The
scene is a view of small tract of land
half farm and half garden-with a
modest frame dwelling in the fore
ground. The principal characters are
man and his wife; type ordinary,
age 40. means $500 in bank and the
cottage and grounds; aim in LIE, TO
work a little longer, to save a little
harder and then to rest-to loaf along
to the cemetery.
Unknown to this couple some expert
prospectors in the pay OF the men,who
were then about to form the great steel
COllDlHb nave DCSli Spy iii0 Oe'e NAN~ >
in that section. which is known to
show signs OF rich deposits OF iron
ore. These experts have all agreed that
the little piece of land owned by this
couple-together with the land on
either side of their plot-promises
greater yield in quantity and rlcher
yield in quality than any other lana
in that part of the state.
But, as have said, the married pair
are wholly ignorant of all this.
Enter the hired girl. She speaks:
Hired Girl-A letther, sir.
The Man-Ah What have we here?
The Wife-Why not read it and see?
The Man (keeping up the pretense of
being the superior person and lordlng
it over the wife yet little longer be-
fore the exposure of his wretched con-
ceit)-How dull you are! How you
would botch everything in your life
were it not for me- A letter is not
morsel tossed to a hungry cur, to be
flown at and choked down at sulp
A letter is in way the embodiment OF
mystery and the chrysans of fate. 1t
may break to us the chilling news OF
death-it may convey the tidings OF
q marriage, birth
She-Oh, it may be Thompson's bill
for the fertilizer; but, for heavens
sake, read it.
He docking at her scornfully but
reading the envelope, takes out the let
ter and reads):
Chicago, Feb. -, 1900 Dear Sir
Some parties in this city whom | rep
resent are desirous of meeting you to
talk over the business outlook in your
section and desire me to invite you to
come to Chicago for that purpose. They
hope that YOU will bring your wife and
have placed at your disposal a suite of
rooms in the Auditorium Hotel, which
will be at your disposal from Wednes-
day morning next
She-They want to buy our place and
am to go with you so AS
He (reading)-"A reply by wire will
greatly os4ige. Yours truly,
ct. Jenkinson, Sec'y."
She-I am to go with you in order
that may sign the deed
He (taken off his guard, begins to
reveal HIS lHleIlOil ny bSiiS'S
you are right. l never should have
thought of it.
The curtain falls, and between the
acts the railroad transports the welded
pair to Chicago, which, to their west
ern minds, is a genuine and magnlfi-
cent metropolis. Its foul river, IT'S
searching winds, it's easily avoidable
dirt and dust and the troops of hag-
gard. dyspeptic men, rushing along the
streets ard talking to themselves,
seem to them necessary to and insep-
arabic from a worlds capital. Even
the noise and hustle in the hotel and
the combined efforts of all within its
ws;ls to destroy all sense of repose and
comfort are, in their eyes proofs OF
the perfection of the place. Once shut
in their splendidly appointed suite of
rooms they feel deserted and lonely,
and both are seized with an irresistible
desire to drop down the elevator shaft,
to squeeze through the crowds in the
office and to fit themselves in the hu-
man hurly burly of the street and
chase madly along the pavements.
He-I suppose if we should stay here
a week we would both mutter to our
selves like true Chicagoans, saying
over and over again, wabash SO Ia.
Consolidated condensed milk 102, Ar
gonaut preferred n 1-S" Would it not
be glorous How like being in heaven
1t must be to be a Chicagoan, dreaming
stock quotations, eating stock quota
tions and breathing the air oil the ex-
change.
She-And actually seeing the cos
tunes of the ladies, which are bought
with these same quotations-instead of
merely reading about them in the pa
pers.
Again the curtain falls, and when it