The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1902-11-18

RusselL)
II see that me frind Sicrety Hay is
goin' to push Roomanya around rr Its
threatment Nv tn Jews" said Mr.. Doo-
ley.
Hennessy.
Il don't know" said Mr.. Doolay, "an'
Jawn Hay don't know an nobody
knows. It's somewhere down in tn
lower vest pocket ~ Europe with tn
rest iv tn small change. But amy
how it's been threatin' tn Jews badly
expellin' Thin as II they was poor i'm
they was Chinymen or ladies, or takin'
away their right to thrile be jury a. II
they was naygUrs. An Jawn Hay Is
goin' to stop il. / amt sure how, but
l suppose he's goin' to hold thin up to
tn contimpt iv tn civilized wurruld.
IT'S tn aisest way an tbs good exercise.
We a tn record fr holdin' up eighs-
ounce nations to tn contempt iv tn
wurruld."
II don't see why we shud INTERFERE
to help tn Jews" growled Mr.. Heanes-
sy, They're pretty well able Z help
themselves. They're all rich"
II see," said Mr.. Dooley." we have a
feelin' again Jawn Hays frinds.
'Tis ye're idee that ivry Jew
right. Maybe all Thin Jews that lives
down in Cana shtreet, twinty in a room
is R~othschilds. / suppose me frind
Finkstein that comes by here ivry
mornin' hollerin' Rags, oil ir'n,' has
ACCUMULATED a fortune though We wud-
I 49,. .l;-tr - ha 49, lAnlr ;r hfc hnr
Probab'ple a great dale iv money is
made be thin scared-lookin' men that
| stops we at a sthreet corner an wants
| to know IL We ave amy oil clothes to
sell, gentlemen. They mus be large
profits as a middleman in u thrans-
action involvin' a pair Nv pants th-t
cost two dollars when they were first
! bought an has been worn through q
picnic eason an a pollytical campaign.
l watched iv thin joynts Nv Il
nance a whole day wanst. Out iy a total
iv five hundherd propositions, he got
four hundherd stony glares. ninety
eight Go to tn divvles,' wan punch in
tn eye, an a cardigan jacket. But he
mus be rich. All Jews ARE rich.
WI you like me to give We me OBJ
! sarvations on tn Jews? Ye wudden't?
Well 1 will. TIL raison tn Jews is in
business is because they'se nawthin
/ else FIR thin t. do. FIR cinchries an
| clnCnTlSS, fblutE Nelly lcliS LhS, tiS
have been crowded out iv ivrythinG
else. They cudden't be sojers or polly
ticians or lawyers or Judges. But
they'se wan pursOot where prejudice
has no hand. Whin a man wants 10
borrow money, he nIver inquiries ABOUT
tn charackter or religion iv tn fellow
he touches. He'd as lave borrow firm
a stranger as a frind, firm a bad man
as a good, firm a Jew as a C~hristyan.
He'd sooner. F"r he hopes not to be able
to pay it back, an not payin' back
tnloney to a Jew is a Christyan var
chue. So tn Jews become money lin
oers. They handed out tn roly holy
to imprors an kings who come back
firm wars an pulled their teeth out.
But whin tn imprors needed tn dough
again. they had to 90 to Moses. an
Moses made thin settle they owed
with Interest. So in tn end, tn i'm
pror had tn Jews teeth, an tn Jew
had tn impror's
We'll, to be a good money Under, ye
have to be sthrong at figures. Ye have
TO be able to d up quick in ye-er head
because tn mar that has tn watch TO
soak, hasn't time to think iv amy
thing but wantin' tn money in a hurry.
SO tn Jews larned figures. To larn
figures right, we've got to begin arly,
Ye got to get into tn habit iv thinkin
figures. Ye can't begin afther fifty
whin ye'er head is full iv pothry an
song. TIL Jews start right away. AS
tn pote that Hogan knows says, they
lisp in numbers. They're taught tc
play with tn usury law in tn cradle
an it niver ceases to be a toy with
thin. Whin me frind Ickstein want:
his son to behave, he avs 'Maxey, /
ye're a good boy, pah-pah will let W
go u in tn yard an play with tn
arithmetic / wanst whit to Mary Cas-
sidy's school to see tn children show
Aff yyhfn che 60 hoy- m ann aiohi
times iliyen was, all tn little Jew Boy:
was red in tn face an snappin' theil
fingers an all tn little Irish boys wa:
thryin' to count it UP with their LEAD
pencils. But whin she asst who woI
tn battle iv Bunke Hill a Jew boy
thought it was Kuhn. Loeb. an Com
p'ny, but tn Irish boys knew h !
was.
I'm figures tn Jews is sthrong. Whert
they're veal is not carin' about money
l name it. A Jew cares about maxim
money. A Connecticut Yankee an
Scotchman cares about money. Their
ARE no Jews IL New England. The.
can't make a livin' there. A Connect
cut Yankee wud skin q Jew down &
his collar button an burn what wa
left iv him at tn stake as a hereto
TIL raison FIR it is this. mind ye: !
Jew make down town n spinds VI
town. It's aisy come aisy go with
Jew. He ant be dragged by a gent
furnishin' store with q show iv re-
neckties an silk underwear in tn
window. He has to have a dPmon' a
big as a cake Of ice fr tn front iy hi
shirt an a bottle iv Ody Colone fr hi
silk handkerchief. He blows himsel
FIR a brown-stone house while Higgin
iv Stamford is Twin in a fat. He's tt
mainstay iv tn theaytres while Hig
gins is takin' in tn free Iechters. HI
wife has a seal-skin sack N ates he
: roast goose off a COOL dish whin Mrs
Z. Higgins has to throw her husband o.
!, tn flure an get tn price iv a shir
I. waist out iy him with a Ratchet He
t out at tn races ivry day handin' hi
: good money to Yankee bookmakers ar
he can't hear tn click iv a poker chez
. without that queer feelin' that h
!, oughn't 20 home. I niver see a Jew tha
wudden't play cards or a that kne'
: o to play. Yes, I did know war
/ Some friends iv mine In tn City Hal
: formed a syndicate an STINT him dow
: to Columbus. Ohio, to thrafic with
; party iv manufactures that used I
:. play wanst a week in a over