davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
"cOME OFF TIE STUMP"

Probably the most noticeable man
in the G. A. R. parade in Washing
ton was Dan Burns Of Westmore-
land, Pa, who is Z feet 9 inches
high. Carrying a tattered battle
flag, he lowered above every man
in the post like a veritable giant.
The story was told during the day
by some of Burns friends that
when he enlisted at the beginning
of the war he lined up in the rear
rank. The commanding officer or
dered him to come off the stump on
which he was supposed to be stand
ing. When Dan declined to "come
down." an irate officer rushed to the
rear to see that the first case of in
subordination was properly pun
ished. He was amazed beyond all
measure and could hardly believe
his eyes when he saw the towering
''high private" was really standing
on the ground.-Cleveland Leader.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
The Oldest NeWsboy,

A familiar figure seen around the
Chicago and Alton depot at Joliet,
Ill, is the oldest newsboy in the
United States. Orsamus Page has
been selling newspapers in Joliet
since the Worlds fair in 1898, nev-
er missing a single day or failing to
meet the early trains. Page was
born in 1909, being ninety-three
years of age, and retains his vigor
to such an extent that he is able
to rise every morning at 4 o'clock
and deliver thirty or forty papers
before the early train arrives. Mr.
Page comes from long lived stock,
his father dying at eighty-nine, his
mother at ninety-eight, while his
grandfather lived to be 1O2 and his
grandmother 105. i.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
FLAG ON r, } CENT STAMPS.

For the frs TINE since 1869, SAYS
the Boston Transcript, the postof-
flee departmel, /, with the issuance
OF the new series of stamps now in
preparation, VII make use of the
American flag il one of its designs.
This will be a art of the two cent
stamp, which, Ly the way, will bear
little resembla: &c to the one now
current. The familiar portrait of
Washington vii be succeeded by a
photograph taken from Gilbert
Stuart's famous painting. This
bust of Washington, so long known
to the stamp using public, was
drawn from Houdon's profile cast.
Stamp experts think that this new
two cent stamp, with its superb like
ness of Washington, its draped
flags, its wreaths of laurel leaves in
the lower corners and the general
balance of text and artistic effect,
together with the remarkable ex-
cellence of the mechanical work.
will make this the finest postage
stamp ever produced.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
Raising Wives For Farmers,

More than fifty girls are studying
scientific farming i'll the Minneapo-
lis College of Agriculture. The
course they take includes botany,
chemistry, physics and geology, re
curing in the first two years two
terms of each. They pay special at
tention to cooking, laundering,
household economics, furnishing
houses and social culture. They
learn to plan buildings and to lay
out grounds. By this means it is
hoped that farmers can be provided
with wives who will know enough
about making life in the country at
tractive to keep the boys from emf
grating to the towns and cities.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
Our Dwindling Birth Rate.

Recent census figures, according
to an article in the Philadelphia
Medical Journal, seem to establish
beyond question of a doubt the fact
that the birth rate in this country
is lower than that, of any European
country excepting France; that the
birth rate of the American born
population is much below that Of
France and that the fecundity of
the American woman is lower than
that of the woman of any other
country. France is alarmed at her
condition. We are Indifferent, for
we are constantly recruiting our
population from Russia, from Swed-
en-, from Germany, from Ireland or
from Canada.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
M odern Colossus.

Living in Dover, England, is a
man who is all amazing sight, and
for the reason that he weighs not
less than 1873 pounds. Moreover,
his relatives say that his weight in
cIeases every year. He has not been
able to walk for the last eight years,
and he passes his days in an i'm
mense chair, which is on wheels,
and therefore can be rolled from
place to place.
At night the giant is wheeled to
his bed, into which he hoists him
self by means of a trapeze.
A travelling Snowman recently Of
fered this fat man $500 a day if he
would exhibit himself, but the Of
fer was declined. 'T don't need
money" said the fat man, "and
Pm too fond Of my family to leave
them"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
Thrifty Russell SAGE.

A solicitor for a Wall street paper
had been trying for a long time to
secure the signature of Russell Sage
to an advertising contract at a cost
Of 800 per year, but to no purpose.
To show how diligently he had been
working, hoping thereby to induce
Mr.. Sage to sign the contract, he
said:
IT think, Mr.. Sage, you ought to
favor me with this order, for [ have
been after you for three YEARS"
The old fnancier leaned back i'm
his chair, thought a moment and
then asked, GLOW long have you
been trying to get this contract, did
you say?"
"Three years. hopefully replied
the agent.
"Then, you see," continued Mr.,
Sage, II have saved just 5000
New York Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
Fly EIectrocution.

A new apparatus has been in
vented for killing flies by electricity,
says the London Express. It looks
somewhat like a gridiron placed
vertically, with horizontal shelf
hanging beneath. The gridiron is
composed of wires which are con-
nected with an electric battery, and
the wires are so close together that
fly alighting can hardly fail to
stand upon at least two Of them at
once. The wires being alternately
negative and positive, the insect by
the mere act of alighting upon the
machine completes a circuit and is
instantly killed. At intervals the
horizontal shelf may be removed
and the dead flies brushed off.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
Vienna Cabmen.

The "cabbies" of Vienna are in a
sorry plight. Owing to the COM
petition of the electric cars they
are left almost without fare. A
meeting of the cabmen was held the
other day, and it was agreed to-
petition the government for CONF
pensation by giving each cabman
5000, the value of the license, and
issuing no more licenses in future.
The men then propose to sell their
vehicles and with the additional
grant Of $500 start in a new bust
ness. Unfortunately for the cab
men, the possibility is exceedingly
remote of the government meeting
their suggestion.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
A. BuIldou Smasher.

A bulldog attacked Julius Hager
near his home in West New York,
N. j., and the savage brute sank its
teeth in his arm. Hager grabbed
the dog by the tail and dashed out
its brains against a telegraph pole.
This was the fourth dog that had
attacked him within a month, and
all of them he served in the same
way.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
Tintoretto's paradise"

Tintoretto's great masterpiece,
PARADISE" in the ducal palace at
Venice, suffered but slightly from
the fall of the st. Marks campa-
nile. A little careful work by the
clever italian restorers and the
great, painting will be, it is said, in
as good condition as before the
nearby bell tower collapsed.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1902-12-25
One of Secretary shaw's Stories

Secretary Shaw tells this story OF
his second race for governor in Iowa
when he failed to carry his own
county: He was chatting with a
witty Irish cobbler, who dryly con-
graduated him on his election
eyes, Pm glad to be elected" said
Mr.. Shaw, "but I'm sorry to have
lost the county where | live" Pat
didn't say word. "What do you
think about it, Pat?" persisted the
successful candidate. "Begorra, it's
the diviPs own pity ye didn't live in
every county of the shtate," was the
explosive reply.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
Courtesy Reward ed.

to conductor of The Chicago 4 Alton Rail
way for being attentive and courteous. A
somewhat similar circumstance has reoc-
CURED. Mr.. H. J. Titus, steward on one
of the "Alton's' dining-cars, recently had
for guest gentleman to whom he uncon-
sciously gave such polite attention as to at
tract his patrons notice. Upon arrival of
the train in Chicago, this passenger, who
R RaS nigh ar oea OF the Mobile 0hS
The Chicago & Alton Railway, and being
assured of Mr.. Titus's ability, promptly APP
pointed the latter Superintendent Commits
sary of the Mobile & Ohio Railway. Mr..
Titus assumes his new duties August 18th,
with headquarters in jackson, Tenn. He
will be the youngest railway superintendent
Of .dining-cars in the United States, his age
being but twenty-four.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
CONVENIENCE FOR TRAVELLERS.
1t Il Found In the interchangeable
MueAHe Ticket.


The interchangeable mileage ticket is
sued by the New York Central is good over
more than 5000 miles of railway east of
Buffalo, including the New York Central &
Hudson River and branches; Rome, Water
town 4 Ogdensburg and branches; Carthage
& Adirondack; Mohawk & Malone; St.
Lawrence & Adirondack: New York \
Putnam; New York & Harlem; Pennsyl-
vania Division OF the New York Central !;
West Shore Railroad, including its Chenan-
60 and Waikiki Valley branches; and the
Boston & Albany RaiIroad
Over all of the above roads the tickets are
good in the hands OF the bearer for one per-
son or dozen, and good until used, there
being no limit to the ticket. They are also
accepted for passage, subject to the loca!
rules and regulate ions, on the following lines:
Buffalo, Rochester & Pittsburg Railway;
Central Railroad of PENNSYLVANIA: Pitts
burg, Johnstown, Ebensburg & Eastern
Railroad; Philadelphia & Reading Railway,
and Atlantic City Railroad.
These tickets are sold at the fiat rate of
two cents per mile, and that they are a
great convenience to the public is proven
by the fact that thousands of them are in
the hands of not only regular travellers, but
of many families that travel only OCCASION.
ally, as they are always ready for use and
enable their, holders. to travel on all the
New York Central lines east of Buffalo at
two cents per mile without waiting for re-
bates or proof Of ownership.-From the
Albany Argus.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
p1rH AND POINT.

Agreed.-Edna-"H just crazy *
Philadelphia Bulletin.
It is one thing to do good act
and it is another to say nothing
about it. Chicago Daily News.
The wealth of a man is the number
of things that he loves and blesses
and that he is loved and blessed by.
Carlyle.
What is the use of few millions if
your nerves are on perpetual strike
and your digestion won't work.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
do you think perfection is ever
actually attained in this life?" asked
the serious youth. eyes," answered
Miss Cayenne; "some people become
perfect bores. Washington Star.
The Sower.-"But, father" replied
the erring son, ''you know every
young fellow has to- SOW his wild
oats" ''Yes," answered the father,
''but you ought to know when you
have a big enough crop in."-Ohio
State journal.
Instructor-"Lord Byron said that
Macaulay woke up one morning and
found himself famous. What great
character in American literature is
parallel to this?" Student (who had
been dozing)-"Rip Van Winkle.'-
Princeton Tiger.
His Experience.-"What we need
most in this country" said the polit-
ical reformer, sis an honest count"
'They amt no such thing" declared
Mr.. Nuritch. II know all about 'em,
for my daughter married ne."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
The Living Church quotes this ex-
tract from Connecticut woman's
diary, dated 1890: 1--WE had roast
pork for dinner, and DR.. S., who
carved, held up rib on his fork, and
said: Here, ladies, is what Mother
Eve was made Of Yes said Sister
Patty, and it's from very much the
same kind of critter.'"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
FIGURES ON COURTSHIP.
Some Interesting and Amusing Data
Relating to Marriage and
Its Preliminaries.

A person of statistical turn of
mind has been delving into somewhat
romantic domain for one of his prac-
teal bent. He has compiled statistics
that cannot fail to prove interesting.
Eighty-one out of 100 men, he AYERS,
vowed they could not live any longer
without the adored ones; ~ held the
ladies' hands in tight grip; 60
kissed them on the lips 10 on the
right hand, 2 on the tip of the nose,
and / on the shoulder; IS were so ex-
cited that they could hardly speak;
26 lost their eloquence through GER
tain qualms of conscience; ~ said in
deep chest tones, THANK God," and
frankly admitted that they were in
expressively happy.
By studying the conduct of 100 men
whose suits were rejected the statis-
tician obtained the following equally
interesting figures: Forty of them
rushed in frenzy out of the room;
p said that life henceforth had no
more value in their eyes and that
they would commit suicide; IA be-
came suddenly tongue-tied and IRA
tional; calmly resigned themselves
to the inevitable; avowed their in
tention to Immediately emigrate to
America; tore out some of their
hair; 2 bit their lips till the blood
came; / stuck his hands into his
trousers pockets and whistled pop
ular song, and another looked up to-
ward heaven and began to say the
Lords prayer.
Of the ladies, 81 per cent. knew be-
forehand that the proposals were
about to be made to them. Seventy
of them sank as though embarrassed
into the arms of the loved ones and
only four fell gently down on chair
or sofa. Fourteen covered their
blushing faces with their hands, eight
threw their arms passionately around
the necks of the men, two said,
"Please speak to mamma" and one
sneered.
One lady, who was 4s years old,
protested vigorously against giving
or receiving kiss. Another, who was
about the same age, said, eyes, you
may kiss me, but you must do it in
a gentlemanly manner" Such, then,
are some of the ways in which pro-
posals are made and received. The
study is an interesting one ard in
several ways should prove especially
Instructive to members of the fair
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
Low Rate. to s1,nne.o.. and North D.kot.

Low Rates to Minnesota and North Dakota
From July Goth to August Goth the Great
Northern Railway will sell harvest excur-
sion tickets at rate Of IS. 90 for each person,
In parties Of five or more, from st. Paul,
Minneapolis, Duluth and West Superior,
and $500 from Chicago, to points on Great
Northern Railway in Minnesota, North and
South I,akota.
Alse. on same dates tickets to all points
on their line in Minnesota west of Sank
Centre and Benson, and in North Dakota
east Of Minot, at following rates for each
person, in parties of five or more: From
Sioux City, Ia, and Yankton, $500; from
Sioux Falls, $3.50.
Tickets and INFORMATION from all railway
ticket agents, or upon application to +. I.
Whitney, G. P. & 7. A., st. Paul, Mimi, or
Max Bass, G. l. A.. 22O S. Clark St, Chicago.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
Harvest Hand Excursions.

From July Goth to August Goth the Great
Northern Railway will sell harvest excur-
sion tickets at rate of IS. 90 for each person,
in parties Of five or more, from st. Paul,
Minneapolis, Duluth and West Superior,
and $500 from Chicago, to points on Great
Northern Railway in Minnesota, North and
South Dakota.
Also on same dates tickets to all points
on their line in Minnesota west Of Sank
Centre and Benson, and in North Dakota
east of Minot, at following rates for each
person, in parties of five or more: From
Sioux City, a., and Yankton, IS. 90; from
Sioux Falls, $3.50.
Tickets and information from all railway
ticket agents, or upon application to F. l.
Whitney, G. P. & I. A., st. Paul, Mimi, or
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

ly tributary to the navigable Para
quay. 1t is said that arrangements
will be made without delay to build
a railroad to connect the port with
the populous mining region of the
mountains. The railroad line will cross
the comparatively level plains of east
ern Bolivia.
So the Paraguay river, after all, bids
fair to solve the problem of an east
ern outlet for Bolivia, though it has
often been asserted that the river
could not be made available for that
purpose.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
Hindoos Taking to Christianity.

The latest report Of the British Ia
dian census commissioner shows that
there were 2,923,349 Christians in ~
dia in 1901, as compared with 1885,
$50 in 1891, an increase of 63S,969, or
about 2s per cent, during the ten
years The growth OF Christianity IN
India is much more rapid than The
increase in population, yet the Chris
tians are but one per cent. of the
total population<-LoEdon NswS.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

What the Union Pacific is doing in en-
cheering improvements is commended to
the country where no such difficulties are
encountered as in the West Straight roads
are economic roads, and they invite traffic.
The wild yanks and alarming rolls to which
passengers are subject on some Of them
cause train sickness, which is form of
sea sickness, and headache, and they cause
a rapid deterioration of cars and engines.
Those railroads make the best bid for
patronage that promise not merely speed,
but comfort, and steadiness is the more
comfortable, because it indicates security.
We have been eager to extend the mileage
of this country. Now we might show some
expedition in reducing it by following the
Example of the Union Pacific in straighten-
needless grades.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
WORDS CAME BY ACCIDENT.
Singular Origin Of Many Expressly
Terms Used In the English
Language.

'Hurrah!" 1t used to be "Hurray!"
and the cry is as old as England. 1t
is the battle cry of the old Morse vik-
ings as they swept down to burn and
murder among the peaceful British.
'Tur aie!" was their war cry, which
means "Thor aid!"-an appeal for
help to Thor, the god of battles, says
the Philadelphia Inquirer.
"It's all humpug!" Perhaps it is.
Humbug is the Irish ''uim bog pro-
nounced humbug, meaning bogus
money. King James II. coined worth
less money from his mint at Dublin,
his 20-shilling piece being worth two
pence. The people called it "uim bog"
1t was a Roman gentleman of 1900
years ago who first asked "where the
shoe pinches." He had just divorced
his wife and his friends wanted
know what was the matter with tn.
woman. They declared she was gooc
and pretty. "Now," said the hus
band, taking off his shoe, isn't that
nice shoe? It's good shoe, Ell? A
pretty shoe, Ell? A new shoe, Ell?
And none of you can tell where it
pinchcs me-"
Before you can say Jack Robinson"
arose from the behavior of one John
Robinson. He was fool. He was in
such hurry when he called on his
that he would be off before
he had well knocked at the door.
''There they go, helter-skelter!"
That phrase was coined at the defeat
of the Spanish Armada. The great
fleet of the Spanish invasion was
driven by storm and stress of the
English attack north of the Helder
river and south to the Skelder river
the Sche1dt.
Do you know why hare is called
"push?" This is not riddle, but
just an example of how words get
twisted. The ancient Latin word for
hare was "lepus." The Norman
knights who came over with William
the Conqueror pronounced the word
''le puss." The puss he remains to-
day.
$50 to Halifax!' That town was
place of special terror for rogues, be-
cause of the first rude guillotine in
vented there by Mannaye for chopping
off felons' heads. Halifax law was that
the criminal "should be condemned
first, and inquired upon after" Gov
entry had a queer lazy in old times, by
which none but freemen of the city
could practice a trade there. Stran-
gers were starved out. Hence the
phrase for shutting a man out of hui
man company--''sent to Coventry"
'Spick and span" comes from the
"spikes" and "spanners''-the hooks
and stretchers for stretching cloth
new from the loom.
To "dun" man for debt comes from
the memory Of Joe Dun, bailiff of Lin
coin, who was SO keen collector that
his name has become proverb.
News is queer word-the initials
of north, east, west, south. which APP
peared on the earliest journals as
sign that information was to be had
here from the four quarters Of the
world. The sign was N E w S and gave
Us our word news"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
WordIcss TnOurhts

Remember my son. said the old man
to his offspring, who was going forth into
ers, chat there are times when it is best
to saw wood and say nothing"
THAT'S right, dad" replied the wise in
nocent. IF a. fellow was to say what he
thinks while saving wood it mig ht affect
his standing in the church. "-Chicago Daily
Naws
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
The Skin ana the Graft.

Truly" says the patient who is being
skin.-grafteed, surgical science is wonder.
full thing"
1T is, says the friend who is helping
skin me and then they graft you; but after
YOU get well and they send in t he bill you'll
find. that you've been skinned for their
graft. Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
Not Guilty.

Jude@1 can see dissipation written on
your face.
Remus Qrightened)-Yo' kin, sab? Well,
deed All didn't write it, cause cant spell
sech long word.-Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
uJust as GOod''-Never.

When you ask for we'll known meritor-
GUS medicine like Cdscarets, see that you
get it. If something else is offered Just as
good" it is done to sneak few cents extra
orofit. CASCARETS have larger sale
than any medicine of the kind in the world
Over ten million boxes last year; The gen
une tablets are stamped "C.C:C." and are
never sold in bulk or jars. You can buy
them at any drug store at l0c, Csc, and SOC
ner box
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

like the new preacher, dear?" asked Mrs.
Fit when her husband returned from
church. Hes great replied the husband.
HE woke me up only once. "-Ohio State
journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

One cannot help but wonder if some peo-
Piles admiration for their ancestors would
be as enthusiastically reciprocated if the
positions were reversed.-1ndianapol
News
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

Not Dependent on n Single Train.
The New York Central Lines have whole
flying batteries of trains connecting the
centers of population and the gateways of
commerce.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
I.1ies Can Wear Shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease. A certain cure for swollen, sweating,
hot, aching feet. At all Druggists, 22c e., i AZ
cept no substitute. Trial package FREE
Address A. S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

/ am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs: Thos.
Robbins, Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y,
Feb IT, 1900
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04
StOps the Cough

There is probably nothing more pointed
than the finger Of corn.-Chicago Daily
News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

To Have and to Hold-Tess-"J told
me he was going to propose to girl knew
last night" Jess-"Yes, and he'll never do
it lin" Tess-'Why, who was the grl:"
JEST, and l accepted him. "-Philadel'
phia Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

"Here's where I fall to work." said the
well digger when the rope roke.-Indianap-
oils News
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1902-09-04

The man who thinks leads the crowd
Rams Horn.