The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1902-03-28
HASA)RI|!|1|!5KElyN J

IA, WHIT are preJuulceS! Otner
peoples opinions, my son."-Puck.
He-She always calls things by their
right names. She-What horrible name
did she call you?-Yonkers Statesman.
Snapshot Opinion. Clara says
you are a perfect gentleman Fred
Why, she doesn't know me. Ned
That's what told her.-Smart Set
Suggestion Promptly Adopted.
yasser-Don't let me disturb you, sir
= Busy Merchant won't. Will
lam, show the gentleman out.-Chica-
go Tribune.
why Is 1t that powder factories pay
such high wagesY Because the EN-
ployes are likely at any moment to be
blown up and thrown out of employ
ment. New York Sun.
Waiter l find l have just enough
money TO pay for the dinner, but
have nothing In the way of tip for
yourself" Let me add up the bill
again, sir. .'-Moonshine.
A Darwinian.-Isobel-H perfectly
your frock fits. dear. | thought you
college girls scared above such trlfes.
Hypatia-Oh, no! We believe In the
survival of the best fitted.-Life.
Discreet.-Jay-Yes, sir; when was
In New York a sharper robbed me Of
fifty dollars. Hay-Why didn't you call
a policeman? Jay-Well, | thought
fifty dollars was enough.-Philadelph
Press.
After the Wedding Countess
You've no idea how embarrassed the
count was when he proposed to me-
The Dear Friend-I heard it took con-
siderable of your fathers money to
pay his debts.-Judge.
Sage Advice: Manageable careful
not to make the plot of your novel too
complicated. Author-Why not? Man
ager-Well, you know before it is
dramatized the plot will all have to be
taken out of it.-Judge.
Gentlemen-"You don't know how to
make lover sneered the Gentleman of
the Old School. NO" laughed the
Gentleman of the New School; 81 leave
all that to the women! | have need
only to make moneyy'-Life
Il throw myself upon your mercy"
sobbed the two-hundred pound heroine
The villain sank beneath her weight
Il now realize" he murmured. "what
G Inv Ln hnhind fha
thrown. n."-Philadelphia Press.
sit isn't well to be too quick at soy-
ing a conundIum" NO" "No; once
l tried to find out what was the differ
ence between man and his wife fight
ing on thesstceet. and they didn't do a
thing to me- philadelphia Record.
In Spirit Land.-Fm glad I'm dead"
said the shade of George Washington
to the wrath of Benjamin Franklin.
sWhy, my liege?' 'If | were alive
they might court-martial me for COM
pelling CORVALLIS to surrender
Town Topics.
Excited Citzen-I want a man ar
rested right away! I've been assault
ed and | wasn't doing thing but
walking along the street in a quiet or
derly and 'noffensiye manner, and
whlstling. e-Um-er-what tune
were you whstling?
Gifts SHOULD be accepted thankfully
but not too curiously. An amateur poet
found himself In sad quandary. Il
don't know what to think" he said;
'last year on my birthday Ella gave
me a pencil to write poems with, and
this year she has given me a silver
mounted eraser
Mrs. Goodsole-Why, johnny, are
you just going home now? Your moth
er's been looking for you all afternoon.
Johnny-Ye know. Mrs. Good
sole-Just think how worried she must
be. Johnny oh. she's near the end
O. her worryin'. I'm jest beginning
mlne.-P Philadelphia Press.
Ordinary Tears.-Old Gentleman
Why do you shed such bitter tears, my
boy? Boston Child (pausing in his
tears)-Really, can not conceive that
my tears differ as to their brackish
quality from other lachrymose ennis
slons. l have never heard of sacchar-
inc ars.-Philadelphia Press.
"H'mw exclaimed Mr.. Goldie, after
reading his morning post, that boys
college education is making him too
smart" Whats the matter?' asked
Mrs. Goldie. II wrote1to him the other
day that | thought it would be kinder
! for me not to remit the check he asked
i for. Now he writes: Dear Father-I
shall never forget your unremitting
kindness Tit Bits.
They were dining at the hotel where
they have music and had reached that
part of the repast when the preserves
! the sweets come on. His was cher
ries in maraschino-new to him-and
she was devastating ice cream and
ginger squares. Finishing the contents
of his glass saucer, he looked up aud
said to her as II announcing discoy-