The Montgomery advertiser., 1902-03-02
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 < A TALE OF A WOOING. Y

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 He cut himself while shaving several times; his razor was refractory and he finished the performance with a vivid blush, and a feeling as though he was making faces like a clown in circus. He had had the usual collar button trouble and completed his toilette with a well de- fined case of the ''rattles." A cut upon the door mat outside startled him. he stumbled at the gate-his frame of mind so impressed him, that he thought it absolutely necessary for him to seek the aid of the chemist at the Diamond" which attractive place was convenient upon his route.
 Something to set me up, -.e informed the tender behind the bar.
 During the concoction of the bracer the chemist asked several questions, every one in the kindest intent as to the trouble and remarked that he ''knew exactly what was good for his case" This was in no way reassuring and he furtively peered in to the big mirror behind the bar to see If his appearance warranted such solicitude. He gulped the mesa whatever it was and strode upon his way. Very soon the mixture and the bracing cold air steadied him-he felt decidedly better-then he began to felicitate him. self upon the masterly way that he had "dodged" several seductive offers to find him a partner; Miss was left, Miss So and So was so anxious to go-to cut story short he determined that very evening in the old homely phraze to ''pop the question: and to "stag" would give him the better chance to do so. He las he thought) cunningly. figured 1t out that he would sit with her while her partner was out or cornered with some other
 l. 1-sv k&A Frn ah ff her stag leads. But he found that the well laid plans of stags as we'll as those of mice gang aglee." Her partner was unusually attentive, hurried back after each timet he was chosen (which was not often) and evidently had fish to fry too. ' He was in fact one of those monopolists that buy a woman's freedom with the request to escort them. So he was kept away and none of his skillful generalship gained for him a single point. He had despaired and was leaving in great dis gust when he found her wrapped, ready, and waiting for her escort, who had mysteriously disappeared. He approach ed with flushed face, uncertain feet and an unusual brililancy in his eyes that she doubtless attributed to something other than the affection he so longed to tell her about. He surprised her by beginning his speech with her name minus the formality of Miss. She pass ed this over believing it part and parcel with the flushed face and glittering eyes. I have wanted to say something to you all the evening"" he began. With little laugh and in an indulgent tone and way as to child, You have! you have waited right we'll, right patiently, what Is it?" Nettled by her tone and manner he forgot the fervid speech he had re- hearsed, his heart opening, how she was all to him and the blank his life would be without her, he blurted out. q wanted to ask you to be my wife that 8 aIl" After her amazement she laughed heartily, enjoyably, hysterically, In vari- ous keys all of them sweet Git was a treat to hear her laugh) and it seemed to him for an eternity, "Is that really aJP' she answered when she had breath to answer. "Why that is small matter but you must give me time to think 1t Sover," she showed signs of relapsing into Another convulsion, but a look at him and the coming of her escort stayed that which like a paralytic stroke Is dangerous the second time. Her shameless levity (so it seemed to him) hurt him, deeply. for he was entirely serious and being devoid of anything resembling funny bone" he could see nothing humorous in his nasty, iiltimed, unromantic declara- tion.
 He made the usual resolution to see her no more and vented his chagrin upon the obsequious porter and cast that worthy his tip. He again sought consolation lat the bar'' and arose next morning with a headache and a heartache beside.
 If this narrative should interest you, go seek the records of the court in which the doings of Cupid are recorded. There you will find the outcome of most lovers disagreements; and that he sought and found his happiness at some other more auspicious time. Van.